#also sorry for the ultra long hiatus! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

riskeith · 4 years ago

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hehe, hi!! hope you slept well even if you stayed up until 3-4 am (?) also what fic... what paring... 👀

genshin charas be like: *wavy beautiful flowy deep hair* tbh and we just gotta accept that. just keep practicing and i’m sure you’ll do them more than justice. your stuff is already great so far!! I JUST SAW HIS ISLE ANIMATION RAZOR IS LITERALLY BEST BOY? also his voice actor... ☹️🥺 razor is catboy we love it.

i’m gonna run around with him and just think about you always i promise!!!! [as if i don’t do that already hehe 😏] some day it will be i’m actually hopefully they’ll do it. too many people want cross server they cannot pass that up.. :(

thank u!! hehe, it’s a tododeku piece and it was one of my first bnha fics i started working on. basically it’s a radio au? i love those so much... midoriya’s a radio host and todoroki listens to him to help his insomnia and they start talking and it’s basically Yearning... jshdjdhdkd this one is actually one of those fics ive always wanted to do but felt stuck with multiple times shdjdsshdh but i don’t wanna let it die just yet so we’ll see what i’ll do with it. and yeah!!! long fics are super intimidating. i agree with everything you said lmao. the stuff i post is actually only one shots. multi-cap scares the fuck out of me bc what if you just lose motivation and then there are people that are waiting for updates and aaah. when i used to do longer fics i used to write it all out before posting the chapters that way i was Sure it was all done. most of my longer fics just end up never leaving my drive account because of that reason.. i literally have fics with over 20k words that have just died out... yikes. hahahah. and omg imagine a wip dump i’d read them all!! who knows what gold your big brain has hidden from us....

YOU HAVE A STUDY? now that’s just sexy of you. stop i feel like people that study at home in a specific office are studious. there’s something super fancy about having a work space at home... and a bookshelf my god what a dream... 😍 books are the most important!!!!! my makeup is hidden in a makeup bag so it doesn’t touch them. i’d literally cry if anything happened to any of them shsjdjk. your bookshelf said 2013 vibes and i adore it. all of those are such good vibes tbh i can’t believe you have them at home... awww <3 do you like the movie adaptions as well?

what happens after 12 yo? do you have secondary school?

I HAVE NO CLUE... god albedo so gorgeous. we’ve just been praising him for days and i’m still not tired of him. he’s so perfect!!!!! if he comes back another time i’m definitely gonna go for it. also AHH? i cant wait for the razor pic aaah you made me so excited now... <3

i made a asia server acc earlier!! god it feels so weird to start anew sjdkdhdk all the tutorials.. not having wings... nothing. just paimon and me running around in the whispering woods. kind of tedious actually but gotta do it for the wifey.. 🥰 i’m thinking i’m gonna hustle hard this weekend to hopefully get up at least to level 10 or something. omg we are literally gonna be that meme where the short person stands in front of taller person and says “they asked for no pickles”... have you seen them? i suck at explaining shjdjdjd anyway. CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU PLAY... 😍 the homoerotic tension in the domains... 😍 also i was thinking,. we get a lot of primogems early in the game and i’m gonna try to spin for xingqiu so we can have that date after all... 😏

YOU HAVE 5 ACCS? my girl is booked and busy. can i ask what for help... also do you ever tweet the wrong things on the wrong accs? and idk what a moment is but i’d absolutely watch that. i wanna see ur cute screenshots... 🥺 YOUR THEME IS SOOOOOO FUCKING GOOD!!!!! ohdhsjshsjshsjsj it’s soooo fucking nice I LOVE IT the colors and the pose. THE MOON ABOVE HIS HEAD. mark me as in love... 🥺

it’s me who cannot wait to hear from YOU. i can’t stop thinking about how soon we’ll run around together aaaah... <3333

i finished responding to your ask at like 3am and slept then!! it was.... drarry 😳😳 they’re legitimately all i read these days even tho i have like one (1) knowledge about hp and its lore FHDKFHSDFJSDKKHSD just the enemies to lovers dynamic you know??? ugh 😩😘👌

fjksdfh thank!! HE’S THE BESTEST BOY!! lil pup 🥺🥺 AND HERE’S THE IMAGE:

LOOK AT HIM M.A. LOOK!!!!!!!!!!! dont you just want to give him everything <333 all the wolfhook he wants... all the good pats... 😭😭😭😭

hehe <33 and hopefully some day!!! i think realistically they wouldn’t, but one can hope hfsdkfhkdsjkh

:o concept! oooo does todoroki know it’s midoriya or is he just pining for the mystery radio show host 😩🤪 i hope you’re able to keep it alive! ahaha ganbatte plus ultra 💪💪💪 you 🤝 me sticking to one-shots. fjdslfkj damn writing it ALL before posting tho requires so much patience... that’s so admirable.... im legit so hungry for like attention and validation from my fics i can’t not post fhdsfsdhsdhk even if it’s still a wip... and the giving up on a multichap i’ve done that LOLLLLLLLLLL i was so in denial about it too even tho i knew i was never gonna go back to it i went from pretending it didnt exist to announcing a hiatus to then announcing its discontinuation fhdskfjsdkjfskdhfdsks

FHSKFHSDKJ ye!! ahah actually now that you say it like that ... makes me sound so profesh 😩 nice! that’s good protect the books first and foremost hfksdhkfs. 2013 was a vibe too i reckon.. that was when catching fire came out <333 which relates to your question, i do *mostly* like the movie adaptations! if i watch the movies before the books then it’s all good, but if i’ve already read the books and then i go into the adaptation..... yikes HSHAH but sometimes it’s been so long i forget the book plot so it’s alright. i do think the hunger games adaptations were really good though!!! hbu do you like the movies?

yup we call it high school!! and that goes from 13-18 yo.

albedo... always on the mind 🥰🥰🥰 i think once i get xiao i might maybe roll of every banner after? just to try LOL idkk.

!! im so sorry you have to go through all that tedious stuff again 😭😭😭 but im so thankful 😍😍😍😍 once you reach co-op levels dw we can do all the quests together so you won’t have to suffer through them with difficulty 🤪 and no i didn’t know that meme but i just looked it up and omg that energy... can’t wait for that to be us :p XINGQIU!!! im so excited omg.. that was one of the other reasons i was willing to start again so i could try roll him fshfksjd. channeling luck for you so you get him again!!! and then chongyun can be with the boyf <33

5 but only 3 i use!!! my kpop twt, anime, and then my ‘main’ (for posting just fics and art etc). the other 2 are basically just there to save URLs hfskdfhskd. and no i don’t!! im super conscientious about that bc im so paranoid hfkshfsdfhsdfjksdhfks y’all won’t catch me slipping 🤪 and a moment is basically just a collection of tweets! but i realised you actually need to tweet them first for that to happen fshfhsdkfd but here are some thumbnails!

THANK UUUU chongyun really is my muse.. who needs irl photography when i can do all this in game <33333

ME NEITHER!! you got me smiling like a fool just thinking about it... hope you slept well! mwah :*

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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queenofmoons67 · 5 years ago

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Update time!

Hey everyone! I’ve posted a lot of new things recently, but also haven’t really talked about my longer stuff in awhile. I’ll put a list of my new fanfics at the end of this post (with fandoms and such, so you should be able to find them through tags; sorry, I’m posting from my phone). But for now, my longer works!

Write Your Letters in the Sand: Supernatural: WOW it’s been... it’s been a really long time since I updated this fic. I never officially put it on hiatus, but... yeah. I’m really sorry guys.

Write’s situation boils down to the fact that I pretty much dropped both the show and the fandom around the same time that I stopped updating. Most of that was due to being busy with real life, and then when I wasn’t as busy, I was exploring new fandoms. I thought I would eventually get back into SPN, but... well. That probably isn’t happening anytime soon. HOWEVER.

This fic was my baby for a very long time, and all you readers have been wonderful, and I promised both you and myself that I would eventually see it completed. I intend to keep that promise. It may not happen soon. But at some point, I promise I will post the final chapters: whether they’re fleshed out and actually written, or just the outlines and ideas I had before.

We Are the Challengers (Plus Ultra!): Daiya no Ace in the Boku no Hero Academia universe: <clutches crossover universe baby to chest> you guys. This ‘verse. I think about it pretty much every day. And here’s the deal: There is a fic coming for it. It will be the longest fic I have ever written. It currently sits at about 21k, and it hasn’t moved in a very long time because of writer’s block and other plot bunnies, but it will eventually be finished. I don’t even know how long it will be when it is, but this was my nano project last year so... yeah. It’ll be long.

And I’m not sure when it’ll be posted (possibly when season three ends? If I can manage to start writing it again).

In the meantime though, if you want to read more for this ‘verse: my asks are open! I will answer questions about the upcoming fic (called “The King is Dead (Long Live the King)”). I will answer questions about the ‘verse as a whole, or just a tiny part of it. Is there something you want to know that I haven’t addressed? A character or quirk or?? Ask! Please! This ‘verse has been and continues to be my baby, I am always willing to talk about it and brainstorm with people. You might even get short fics out of it (that being said, if you just want to straight up give me a prompt for this ‘verse, I will be so happy to deliver).

the wingbeats carry on: Akatsuki no Yona: I actually updated this one about two months ago, but there is so much more I want to write for it. I also have a prompt for it I need to fill, so that will be fun! I’ve finally (almost) shed a ton of real life priorities, so hopefully that happens soon. In the meantime, what I said about asks with Challengers applies here, too! I am always willing to talk about / brainstorm this fic with people, and always taking prompts!

And now... to introduce those other plot bunnies I mentioned... they don’t have actual titles yet, so I’ve just been calling them:

That Tiger and Bunny fic where Kotetsu gets turned into a dog and no one else knows. Yes, it’s that old cliché. No, I don’t care. I’m rather proud of it actually. It currently sits at almost 6k, and guys, this will be another long one. I’m just rolling with it, no outline, so idk how long it’ll be... but it’ll be long. I’m just getting started (I hope). When I start posting it will depend entirely on whether or not I hold out till it’s finished so I can edit it all together, or if I cave and post erratically.

Tiger and Bunny x BNHA fic. That... yeah, that’s all I’m saying for now plot wise. All you need to know is that it is Kotetsu focused, but will involve all of class 1A (minus M*neta plus Shinsou) and Kotetsu actively adopting ALL OF THEM because he can’t help himself, it’s the dad instincts.

And... yes, I’ve said this for the other two not posted ones, but I’m saying it again: it’ll be a long one. I’m focusing on just writing an outline for now (my most detailed yet), I haven’t even started chapter four’s part yet, and it’s already hit 3k. The outline. Has hit 3k.

Posting wise, this will probably be posted after the dog fic. Depends on how long they both end up being, and how long it takes me to finish this outline and switch to the actual writing.

<wipes forehead> wow that’s a lot. But good news! Even with all those wip fics, I have posted a few (short) new ones recently!

we built a dynasty: Daiya no Ace: In which Narumiya Mei is Narumiya Mei, and that makes all the difference when he ends up stuck back in his first year body

Can be read as pre-Mei/Itsuki or pre-Mei/Harada, but it is found family focused

Triple Crown: Lord of the Rings: Arwen arrives in Gondor to find Estel shuffling a little guiltily, but ultimately firm-backed, with a handsome man by his side. “Arwen,” Estel begins. “I love you—and I have discovered I also love Boromir. And it would mean the world to me if you would grant the three of us a chance, because I know I have a heart large enough for the both of you.”

Aragorn/Arwen/Boromir, also known as my new ship in an old fandom

hey brother: The Hardy Boys: Prompt: Hey, I was wondering if you could write a bonus aftermath scene for the 70s hardy boys episode sole survivor? Focusing on joe?

Worried Frank and hurt Joe, because what else am I supposed to write for a prompt like that

speeding through red lights: Double Decker! Doug & Kirill: After a long night at the office, Deana suggests they play truth without the dare.

Or, in which Kirill and I both struggle through how he accepts everyone else for who they are, but his first reaction to himself or anyone else thinking he’s attracted to a man is no because he, himself, is a man.

WARNING for internalized homophobia. One-sided Kirill / Doug.

a life in the sun: FMA:B x Harry Potter: Ling narrowed his eyes at the tall, silver-haired man kneeling next to Ed. He had been willing to ignore him throughout the Promised Day for the sake of—well, everything—but now it was over. Greed was gone. Fu was gone. But Ed was here, and Ling wasn’t about to watch him disappear again. It took him ten seconds to march over, but just one to grip the stranger’s shoulder in a tight, pinching grip.

Pre Ed/Ling, Ed/Draco, Draco/Ling, and Ed/Draco/Ling. I will go down with this ship

I’ll admit, this one went up a month and a half ago. But I love it, so

And if you go back even farther, I have a handful of short one-shots posted for both HakYona Week 2019 and AkaYona Week 2019! I won’t list them all because they would require their own separate list, but they are there!

I hope everyone enjoys the posted fics, and don’t be afraid to reach out and ask me questions / prompts, or to just throw your thoughts at me! My inbox is always open 😊

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shark-myths · 6 years ago

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lake effect kid EP

(or: “chicago” is a funny way to pronounce “patrick”: the album)

first of all, i would like to thank fall out boy for the best gift ever: three love songs to my hometown released on my birthday. three love songs with peterick overtones. I listened to this album four times through on my run this morning and loosed a single giant, ugly sob out in public to the morning air. (there was also a LOT of fist pumping and slamming my foot into the pavement on the downbeats, but let’s not make a full catalogue of everything embarrassing about me this morning, thanks)

let’s dive in, cuz i’ve got FEELINGS

(and what is the lake effect but excess, but overstated, amped-up reactions to changes in the seasons, the weather, the heart??? HOO BOY LET’S GO)

1. lake effect kid

the year: 2008. the song: a hopeful starry-eyed rising-fame chicago kid anthem, starting with a verse about how touring and the band’s success is literally heaven, and the nostalgic annoyance of van days, joe’s old van that only ran with the heat blasting. the prechorus places us squarely in 08 with pete’s LA isolation and growing pharmaceutical dependence ((boxed blondes have less fun breaks my heart for every reason. pete writes SO MANY lyrics about blonde & fake vs. golden & true, and someday i will write a post about it))

the chorus—boomerang my head into the city i grew up in / again and again, forever a lake effect kid—speaks to how, no matter how far they travel and where fame takes them, chicago is always home. the skyline runs in their veins like blood. summer love on a gurney with a squeaky wheel is hospital-room desperation, a sweaty boys-in-vans affair that, from this angle, seems doomed from the start… because remember 2008 is when the petericks and the band are falling apart.

(that they re-recorded it now, in the modern era? tells us that what he felt, he still feels. that these sentiments are always and have always been true.)

and this is my thesis, honestly, of the ep. these are love songs about chicago, yes. about themselves and the band and their history. but they are also love songs about the person who is chicago to pete. they are love songs to patrick.

love songs to the person pete will come back to, again and again and again and again and again.

2. city in a garden

this fucking track. We’ve got a peculiar Infinity/SRAR blend, sonically, where it opens with sounds of IOH and rises to an anthemic SRAR feel by mid-song. it’s the happiest, most optimistic song on an EP that is all about home, belonging, and true love, and in it pete writes I LOVE YOU CHICAGO because that’s easier and safer and more allowed than saying the thing he also means, I LOVE YOU PATRICK STUMP. this is a dual-layer song, with a hometown reading and a truelove reading, and i think both are valid and intended.

right away, it opens with the plea of a boy who moved to LA and can’t stop looking back: take me home, take me home. You make me feel so summer fling adds to a long and lustrous history of describing patrick and their tryst in terms of summer, especially in the context of summer tour: summer is a season outside of time, where there are no consequences and anything is possible. summer isn’t real life. summer is you but better than real, blood more vibrant, ribcage more cavernous, heartbeat more vital and raw. You know that i know that i owe you everything feels like love to the chicago music scene as well as something that pete and patrick might both say, and mean, to each other. without patrick’s voice, FOB as we know it wouldn’t exist. that nightmare-magic truest kind of love wouldn’t exist.

the rush of having no tomorrow, love that was doomed from the start, outrunning your doom… and patrick being the one thing pete’s found that’s worth holding onto…

this bit is so incredibly pete, and the heavy punch on stuck reminds me powerfully of novocaine, a song originally demoed for SRAR: you charged me up, charged, charged me up. I was something they forgot to label “fragile”, now I’m stuck. And you know too much. You’re the one true thing, you’re the one.

that is not a verse about a place. that is a verse about a person. In novocaine, stuck/numb means hopeless in love and unable to get out, even if you want to. this verse is about falling in love so hard you break yourself and can never reassemble. can never be the same. it’s about patrick being the type of love that you don’t believe exists until you have it--the ‘there are no atheists in foxholes’ kind of love.

we get the homesickness, these two boys who bleed chicago but now live in LA, these boys who spend so much time on the road that they don’t even recognize home when they’re there, in the next verse: and i’m just living out a suitcase. watch me now, watch me as i drive away. I’m supposed to leave you at the end of the season but i’ll stay. two layers to this: the feeling of leaving your hometown at the end of the holidays or summer vacation, and the feeling of leaving patrick at the end of a tour cycle. and saying to both the person and the place: i’ll stay. in my heart, in my soul, i will stay. you’re the one true thing, you’re the one.

3. super fade

this motherfucking solo patrick / MANIA blend with the sunshine riptide-esque lyrics and the hiatus feels, this fucking soul punk/batman theme outtake, this fucking song about loving someone so much it makes you sick and you’re furious, this song about who gets your bones vs your soul, who you sleep beside vs who is your ultra and forever love—

THIS FUCKING SONG

I love every fucking line of this song.

it doesn’t sound like classic FOB the way the first two tracks do. this is something else, the way Y&M was something else. this is classic FOB feelings and sentiments turned on their heads and made into nightmares. this is about the dark side back end of love, the wrong side of reality. this is about fucking up and scraping raw and emptying out and loving, loving, loving so stupid it’ll kill you. it sounds like the hiatus. it sounds like always making the same mistakes.

it sounds like always making them with the same person.

it’ll never happen again til tonight, i’m so sorry. My love isn’t lost, it’s all i got. pours out of me, the shape of you. sorry.

IF THIS ISN’T ABOUT TRYSTING AND ADDICTION AND DEPENDENCE AND THE WHOLE PETERICK CYCLE, then nothing is. this feels like a song about a time when they’re supposed to be broken up but their bodies keep coming together anyway, even when they hate themselves, especially when they hate themselves. my love isn’t lost, it’s all i got.

((can we talk about the romantic / filthy line there’s a hole inside me the shape of you?? because UM))

i feel too much unless i’m riding the super fade is so pete, so MANIA, so bipolar, so folie, so getting fucked up to get out, so in love with your best friend even when you’re trying not to be, so self-medicating to the point of obliteration just to cope with your life.

I should’ve known better. I should’ve tried to sing about anything but you. I should’ve tried to go to sleep thinking about anything but you. Anything else in the world but you. you know the world can get my bones, but chicago gets my soul.

h o l y f u c k i n g s h i t

okay so. I’m sorry every song’s about you, but. this is about loving patrick, right? It’s about chicago-as-a-metaphor-for-patrick getting his soul. it’s about the futility of trying to get over the only thing that’s ever really completed him. It’s about tearing my fucking heart out.

the second verse is very much hiatus to me, about trying to fill that hole left by a love-that-isn’t-lost but is out of reach, with anything, anything. I’m surfing on the dopamine high, i’m someone you gotta institutionalize is peak pete, esp hiatus pete. And the echo chorus of sorry, i’m so sorry? jeezus fucking christ, just kill me, just absolutely kill me.

patrick gets my soul. the world can have my body and bones, but you get my soul.

IN CONCLUSION, this is a gay and glorious EP on a gay and glorious day, happy birthday to me, thank you for coming to my tryst theory TED talk. more meta soon, and hit up my ask box in the meantime!

#mania #mania meta #tryst theory #fob #fall out boy #lake effect kid #lake effect kid ep #lyrics meta #fob meta

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starwriterulia · 6 years ago

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Reviewing Brea's Stuff - BTS Soulmate AU (1/2)

PART 1/2 (Taehyung, Jungkook, Jimin)

HI! \(OwO)/

I want to draw ya'll's attention to one of my friends: @jimin-jungshook-over-literalbae. She's a k-pop reaction/scenario/text writer, and not only have I missed her as a friend so much during my long hiatus, I've also missed her writing. Thankfully, there's a lot for me to catch up on! She asked me to give my opinions on her BTS AUs, and with her permission, I've turned my reviews it into a bit of advertising! If you wanna read the stuff I did, ya'll don't have to scroll super far to find it all. I'll be reviewing each AU from a Reader's Standing (silly, sometimes improper sentences; sO MUCH swearing; caps lock) and from a Critic's Standing (second reading; at least one paragraph). Let's get into this! >o<

—Faith

Written in Order of Whichever Came up First While Scrolling

Taehyung AU (Reader's Standing):

Man, I can't relate with being abandoned at a club 'cause I don't drink, and there's no club in my town, but I love how Y/N is essentially abandoned, ha ha ha! Also, poor Y/N, the only person among their friends who hasn't found a soulmate yet and feels so damn lonely about it. :'(

'...soft masculine voice'—bless you, Brea, for describing this scum as feminine.

'It makes you want to scoff, honestly'—All right then, this Y/N is a bit of a bitch, when it comes to meeting strangers in a club. I like Y/N, already. :D

'...back hitting a wall'—Aw yeah, good going, Y/N. Cornering yourself, good shit.

Strong Tae is hot, like that whole wrist grabbing sequence, ooh.

'Excuse me, sir'—My inner Englishwoman accent has been summoned.

Bitter chocolate on Y/N's tongue?? Where did this come from, hm... HM... hm.

Oh wait this is the soulmate bit. NEATO, I LOVE CHOCOLATE!! Milk is cool too, I mean, I'm vegetarian. If you bring meat into any of these AUs I will riOT.

Internal screaming holy shit it's the gang they're here hi Jimin my baby TwT

Yas to fun dancing with the puppy that is Taehyung

'Your back is pressed against his chest and his hands rest on your hips'—AERUNAWERAWENURAWO cute yes thank you

More chocolate taste, mm, yes. *w*

Holding hands on way to friends = classic, love it.

scREAMING HE CALLED Y/N HIS SOULMATE YES BLESS THIS AU I mean I don't usually read them, but my friendo-burritos are special occasions, OK??

Physical manifestation?? All right, sure. I'm so confused about this because, as I just said, I don't read soulmate AUs.

Love how the flavour of chocolate changes, it's kind of romantic.

*Sees typo at second last paragraph for 'had' instead of 'hand' and holds breath* Save it, Grammar-Nazi alter-ego, it's just a typo.

Super cute paragraph though awoureraelr

'As though he's meant to stay there forever'—Is just too cute, oml.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT LAST PARAGRAPH AND THE LAST LINE OF Y/N MY HEEEEEEEEEEART GOD DAMN SO CUTE UUUUUUUUUUGH

It's over? ;w; It's over...

Taehyung AU (Critic's Standing):

I'll say this here so I don't have to repeat myself, but I don't tend to read Soulmate AUs because I honestly think they're a very basic and beginner's way to write fan fiction. But they're also a great way to practice, so no, I don't hate them, I just don't tend to read them. As you know, I've made an exception for my friend. The first paragraph set the atmosphere very well, and easily stated how Y/N was feeling about not having found their soulmate, yet, and how they're just forced to watch their friends, who already have. The creep insertion, while a common trope, was well executed—I especially approve of how Brea described the wrist grabbing and the little struggle Y/N had.

And then there's Taehyung to the rescue, and for a moment I forgot I was reading a soulmate AU, I was confused about why Y/N tasted chocolate for second. Like the subtle inclusion of Jungkook, Jimin and the other guys, and the dancing section where the taste of chocolate changes according to Taehyung's emotions was really neat. I also loved how Taehyung took Y/N home, and their little kissing moment was the cutest. Not the mention the killer one-liner Y/N delivered, at the end. This was a brief AU, but that's often a good idea, for these kinds of scenarios. If I could improve one thing about this, I would have done... nothing. I seriously can't find anything that I would change, in this. Great job, Brea!

Jungkook AU (Reader's Standing):

Ooh, a Big Bang concert!

OOH, bells to signal soulmate status, that's really cool! Also, cute stumble is best stumble.

'bunny teeth'—Yes, Jungkook is a bunny in disguise, I knew it. *w*

YouTuber Jungkook is a concept I would sell my soul to Satan to see IRL

Ey yo, Seungri! \(>w<)/ Feels like a real concert, lol

Oh boy, whispering...

Awwww group waving to Jungkook's camera, how nice. ;w;

OH BOY JUNGKOOK IS ESCORTED

Oml Jungkook must have been so embarrassed, standing on stage like that, as a mega-fan. Lucky dude.

Never mind, boy was hyped as hecc

Happy Jungkook is best Jungkook, that was so cute to read.

Ye boys and girls, let's go with Jungkook and see what happens next oml this is too cute aaa

iS THIS THE SAME BAR AS THE TAEHYUNG AU?!

Hi Jimin I love you ;w;

Riot for Jimin? Yes, very possible.

beLL RUNG AGAIN GOOD LORD

I approve of Y/N's choice of Daesung as their favourite member

Thank you Jimin for approving of Y/N's choice

Jungkook shooing because he's secretly a possessive puppy, cute

bELLS AGAIN

'pretty damning evidence'—This is suddenly a detective AU? Nice.

'princess'—Aaand now I'm trying not to squeal.

Good choice of bar over apartment there, Jungkook.

Clasped fingers are cute, yes, thank you

More bells, aaaaa

Soft kiss ;w; Ow my heart

Evolving bells? YES.

Seriously this was really cute, I loved it. I love everything Brea writes, tbh.

Maybe that's just a friendship thing, idk.

Jungkook AU (Critic's Standing):

When the story began at a Big Bang concert, I immediately started to recall every bop they ever made, and it made me so nostalgic and happy. Really nice concert vibe, felt pretty alive, for being described in one paragraph. The first occurrence of the bells stole my heart, I'm a winter fanatic and bells are such an iconic symbol of that season, so I really enjoyed finding out that the little soulmate signal for this AU was bells. Not to mention the little confused looks that Y/N and Jungkook gave to their surroundings before introducing themselves with yelling (because concert, makes total sense) was really nice. I also loved how Jungkook was a YouTuber, that's totally something he could be, if his life went a different direction.

Seungri noticed Jungkook, told the guys about him, and they all gave Jungkook's camera some love was neat, too. They got him onto the stage and Jungkook fulfilled his mega-fan dream of performing with the big boys, that was ultra sweet of them (and Brea, I guess). And the excited Jungkook after he returned to Y/N was so easy to picture, it was great. As I said in the Reader's Standing, is this the same bar Y/N in the Taehyung AU was taken to? It was nice to see Jimin again though, hee hee, and I really liked how Jimin and Jungkook talked about why Jimin wasn't with Taehyung—the struggles of being a famous idol, right?

Jungkook shooing away Jimin was also cute, and how Brea mentioned that Jungkook and Y/N just sat with a couple drinks and talked with a little buzz was nice. Jungkook's explanation of how he and Y/N are soulmates was a nice touch, I really can't get enough of picturing how those bells sound. Small kiss from Y/N to Jungkook was super sweet, and yes, YES, I would love it if those bells evolved into like, an entire little melody, ah. This one was somehow very relaxing to read, I enjoyed it.

Jungkook isn't even my bias wrecker and I want to punch him with a pillow for being so cute in this AU, dammit.

Jimin AU (Reader's Standing):

For some reason the picture of Jimin wouldn't load and I'm immediately a little sad because I don't get to see his pink hair and those amazingly adorable cheeks of his. Not to mention his gorgeous eyes and just AERNUOEWATO Jimin is great. ;w;

Y/N is legit me, but I'm reading hentai manga instead of an 'actual book'. Just kidding, I'd be reading Piers Anthony.

Cool cafe, would definitely go there.

But reading sometimes stresses me out, so... I just stick to Piers and other fantasy others who don't write about female leads, sorry, but I really fucking love men. >w<

Aw yes look at that, his pink hair is peeking through, I wish I could reach into this story and touch it, fuck

The Chim just keeps getting closer... and closer... God that's cute, it's so like him, I love that.

'marches his way right over to you'—AEUROOAEUNCOWEASNLU thank you Brea, I'm dying a little

Soft speaking is so cute, good Lord, bless this AU

I'm just excited to read this for a second time, I love Jimin so damn much, aaaa

Just reading with Jimin would be so nice, that one paragraph had such a quiet feeling to it, ah.

Oh no, he went back on tour </3

he'S BACK AND HE TAPPED Y/N'S HAND MY LORD

I would totally jump up and hug Jimin, sorry not sorry, that man needs so much love for being so cute and... A N D *heavy breathing*

Oh right Y/N does it anyway

Awww yes he hugs back ;w;

Ooh, familiar scent and a long hug, that's definitely romantic.

bOOK HANDING OVER INCEPTION. Thank you for that little nod, ah.

I would probably fit in his suitcase tbh I mean I'm 145cm and he's what, 165cm?? It would totally work out, guys.

fiNGERS ENTWINE SCREEEEEEE

Sneaky Jimin putting his number in Y/N's pocket. Wait he's also part of the pervert line, BREA ARE YOU SURE HE DIDN'T TAP Y/N'S ASS A LITTLE? Lol just kidding, but still, nice move, Jimin.

He smells like books, bless

NOT TO MENTION THE KISSES GOOD LORD

That note was so sweet holy shit

Good ending oh my God that was such a nice ending

Jimin AU (Critic's Standing):

How do I write a formal review, again? I loved the book cafe, that was such a natural place for this to happen. Y/N and Jimin meeting week after week, and Jimin inching closer and closer until he literally comes right up to Y/N and all I could think of was a fluffy puppy running, and it killed me. I really liked how Y/N and Jimin established a quiet relationship, that's like, friendship, and friendship is so nice. Then Jimin left and I felt a little empty with Y/N, and I'm just sitting here thinking about how easily you were able to make me relate to Y/N. He came back blond (I refuse to add the 'e' for a male; I'm Canadian, that's just how the French do things, nothing wrong with the more modern/American way >w<) and had to tap Y/N's hand to get their attention, and then there's that adorable hug that just warmed my heart.

Then there was a very well executed explanation of how Jimin knows he and Y/N are soulmates and how he slipped a note into their pocket when they hugged. And I'm completely serious when I say that I would love to just stuff myself into Jimin's suitcase, ha ha ha! The kisses were also a really nice touch, the note was very sweet, and again, Y/N's last say in this scenario as they gave in to temptation and texted Jimin was adorable. Jimin's explanation and the note really did it for me, heh. I enjoyed Jungkook's the most, out of these three, but this was also really relaxing to read.

OK, that's it, for the maknae line! Onto the hyung line. Thanks again for reading, everyone.

#reviewing breas stuff #bts soulmate au #part 2 is coming soon ya'll

11 notes · View notes

inimene-skates · 6 years ago

Text

Kodu [DenEst fanfiction]

Summary: Tallinn, the 1990s. The first foreigners come to Estonia that has recently freed itself from the Soviet terrors. Mathias Kohler becomes one of those daring people while seeking inspiration for his book. Thrilled to find out more about Estonian punk culture, he stumbles upon one of its particularly interesting subjects named Eduard. What follows next is a story about trust and freedom, revolution and philosophy, love and culture. A story about the land where they found kodu – a home.

Link to AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15094802

Notes: After my rather prolonged hiatus I finally came up with something decent. I believe this world needs more DenEst since this rarepair is absolutely stunning. All the events in the fic are a mere fruit of my imagination; however, it is based on the events that really took place in the 1990s: the times when the USSR dissolved and Estonia regained its independence. At the time, the punk culture in Estonia was particularly popular.

I have previously posted this fic in its original language (Russian) here: https://ficbook.net/readfic/6731059

The main inspiration of the work comes from a song of the famous Estonian singer Ott Lepland "Kodu", you can listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbyOx-1AGNg

There’s a lot of Estonian slang used in this story so please refer to the notes for translations. ___________________ Ma ei oska vene keelt — I don't speak Russian Tõmba nahhui, idikas! — fuck off you idiot Ime lahti! — same as previous Oota — wait Putsi — Estonians would use this word to curse if/when something goes wrong Vend — dude Lilla (also: pede) — fag Keppi mind — fuck me Mida sa tegid? — what have you done? Mul on nii kahju — I am very sorry

Also, I tried to illustrate punk Eduard for you so take a look for a better reading experience! Enjoy!

_____________________________________

Mathias first saw him by Kadriorg. He was the one who the Dane caught his sight of from all six members of that frenziedly formed circle. Mathias could not be sure exactly why: perhaps, it was his hair with its part being tousled up and dyed unbelievably intense, almost acidic, pink, and making him look head up taller than the rest of the gang, even though, in reality, he appeared a rather short person. Perhaps, it was all a cocky look he gave the Dane with his mesmerizing eyes of cornflower color boldly fetched out by what seemed to be poorly blended blackish eye pencil. Or, perhaps, the reason could be the way he stood up front deeply inhaling the smoke of his self-made joint as Mathias approached him.

One way or another, Mathias knew for sure it is this fascinating man who would become the main focus of his next improvised interview.

“Tõmba nahhui, idikas!” One of the fellows standing straight behind the subject of Mathias’ attention and whose forehead was crossed over by an apparently fresh wound decided to move forward with an uncovered attack on a stranger. Mathias could not blame him. In Estonia, the land that tried to make it through the quite tough times, people like him, that is to say, people devoted to the punk culture could only hope for a better perception of their selves. That involved, for a kickoff, a better understanding of the origins and existence of their culture and, ideally, less or no condemnation of the bad habits that most of the punks had, according to the public.

In any case, Mathias knew he did not make any mistake by having chosen him. It seemed to him that the young Estonian himself was the leader of that offhand punk gang judging by how daringly he rebuffed his fellow gang mate with a clear and abrupt ‘oota!’. His frown vanished freeing space for a spark of interest. Hoary smoke disappeared into the soft blow of the April wind, not freezing yet not too warm. He was looking at Mathias and his astonishingly vibrant eyes revealed emotions rather opposite to the light dimming inside his body. To Mathias, it seemed like the tragic but, nevertheless, stunning fate of the Estonian folk itself was reflecting in the eyes of this young man.

“Ma ei oska vene keelt,” The Estonian breathed into the air thickened by the cigarette smoke and locked his eyes with the stranger. Mathias gave him a smile getting his message. In the scope of the latest events, he could not even ask for the opposite.

“Ma ei oska ka vene keelt.” The Dane felt that his Estonian language skills had just reached their limit. “English?”

Someone in this incredible company seemed to have started to be running out of patience. Someone else pocked the leader in his shoulder but he shrugged it off making it clear that the next poke would cost his fellow not a mere shrug but a punch. With the back of the hand. There was someone who smirked and spit on the gravel-inlaid road.

“No English, vend.” Here is where Mathias started losing his hope in the abyss of the language barrier. Up to the point when the Estonian himself restored it by giving it a chance to exist with a soft but clear, “Aber ich kann Deutsch sprechen.”

Mathias’ lips stretched in a wide smile of relief. He knew they would make it work from that time on.

***

Only two things in this world could Mathias not stand – being bound to one place and the lack of inspiration. The prior was pretty hard to live with yet easy to handle. At least, for the man that made a living from writing articles for an independent publisher, finding himself in different points in the world to seek unconditional and outstanding events was quite a regular thing – later on, Mathias used them as sources for the new pieces of word art. He could not say that such activity earned him a fortune though; it happened to be just enough to make ends meet. Not that Mathias longed for more. Most of his time he spent outside the walls of his tiny apartment in Aarhus and in times of inspiration did not care much for a place to sleep or the food offered to him but was thrilled by a single fact of being somewhere new and uncharted. In the end, his every little adventure ended up with a new article sent to the publisher for editing – and off he went again as he found himself at the starting point of a circle of his life.

The inspiration was a completely opposite problem. Especially in the recent times. Although the nineties, the times of drastic changes in the unstable world, gave practically endless room for seeking inspiration, Mathias could not find a single place to plant his seed of creation. Everyone around him was making too much noise about the fall of the iron curtain and the collapse of the entire (post) Soviet bloc. But the Dane found it absolutely boring.

This was how Mathias ended up in Estonia. While the rest of the First World was enjoying the comfort and coziness of their apartments reaping the benefits of the post-industrial society and shaking their heads in disapproval of what was going on beyond the borders of the former Land of the Soviets, Mathias had got enough of this worthless pleasure. The decision was made out of the blue. The Dane visited his office the same day letting the boss know with undoubted valor that he was going to chase an ultimate breakthrough in the art of periodical writing in liberated Estonia.

So here he was, standing in the middle of a paved street road having his light scarf wrapped around his neck and put on the variety of decent tourist equipment: a backpack full of snacks and items he did not even recall, a fresh t-shirt, a new coat and a map with a proud ‘Tallinn’ printed at its top. However, this is where the tourist image of the young Dane came to its limits. Tourism as such was the last thing he sought in this cold land not yet recovered from the terrors of the last fifty years.

Mathias knew exactly what he sought. He sought people that were deemed yet not threatening but rather isolated. The young men wearing high boots and creating colorful masterpieces, that could easily beat up the most professional barbers in the art of hair styling, out of their hair. The young ladies changing the ‘right’ and ‘socially acceptable’ garments for the ultra-short skirts and combing their hair up in the chaotic shape to the point when even the strongest storm could not bother their cocky looks. People that could spit on the ground with no back thinking and drink themselves until they dropped in public, not really caring for anything anyone could say and leaving their feelings and thoughts live within the community of their own where no outsider was ever welcome.

Mathias sought them, the people with no right to be spoken of. The free folk of free Estonia, the folk that the rest of the society called punk, somewhat with disgust, somewhat with generalization. Mathias could not find peace unless he told their story to the world, the story shaped by historical, social and political events that had no equivalent anywhere else on Earth.

And so he went along the streets of Tallinn gathering the tiny pieces of the Estonian punk culture found in the words and faces of those who cherished it and allowed the Dane to take a grasp of it as of their souls and cores. Just when Mathias thought his journey was complete, he met Eduard. And oh, he proved the Dane wrong.

***

“Over here, vend!” A loud voice made Mathias almost let go of his camera, not because of the shock, though. It was more because of how familiar the voice seemed to him, that mellow, somewhat leisurely but also daring voice speaking German with a particular Estonian accent. “Out there, you hear me, vend? Putsi...” said the voice once again and the Dane looked back facing its source. Literally.

It was not the first time he and Eduard met by the Viru Gates. At first, he did not even hope for The Estonian’s consent to come and keep his promise to Mathias. However, here he was. He came to the spot every single day, first bringing some of his fellow friends along who had absolutely no command of German and therefore could not grasp the idea of the talks Eduard and Mathias shared. Soon enough Eduard found the presence of the gang members rather useless and started coming to their ‘usual spot’ by himself. Frankly speaking, Mathias was thankful for the opportunity to have conversations without the presence of any third parties around.

The reason for such an attitude was not really the fact Eduard’s pals did not give Mathias the same inspiration as Eduard himself.

Eduard was not tall. In fact, his height made the Dane look down at him every time they spoke. He was shameless, too. Although his voice revealed no impudence, it did not take the credit off his shamelessness. He was cold as the ice on the Tallinn roads when winter decided to remind the country of its long presence with the snowfall: it did not last long having melted in the early spring sun but as the twilight fell the puddles got deeply frozen causing Eduard to swear in his own language, totally incomprehensive for the Dane yet warm and sweet as latte in the cafe next to the Freedom Square. He was as plain as the rest of one million people forming the population of Estonia. Being one of them but also incredibly different from them, he left no room for comparison, the reason being hidden somewhere in the depth of his cornflower eyes dimmed with black makeup. He was conditional like apartment blocks of Tallinn’s Uus Linn, the New Town, reflecting in the lenses of his glasses yet careless and vibrant like the medieval houses of Vanalinn, the Old Town. Eduard smelled of salt of the Gulf of Finland that washed Tallinn’s shores and sweetness of infamous ginger caramel walnuts spreading the sugary smell all over the Old Town.

Someone might say he was perfect. Flawless. At a time, he was a mere Estonian guy, though, piercing Mathias with his cocky Estonian look and dictating him the rules of this cold land. Mathias did not mind. That was the reason he came here, after all.

This time the way led them to the park bench next to the Orthodox church at Toompea hills where the Dane, slightly amused, was observing Eduard drink out of the beer bottle and catching glimpses of every single passerby. At a certain point, Mathias even thought that he himself became a target for a part of those glances. However, The Estonian could not care less.

“How come you speak such perfect German?” Mathias broke the silence but Eduard did not seem to mind at all.

“My full name is Eduard von Bock,” he said watching his favorite beverage splash behind the dark green glass.

“Does not sound Estonian at all.”

“I come from the Baltic Germans folk. Well, half of me does. Not many of ‘em decided to stay after the occupation. The major part was returned to Germany by the Nazis. Back to the land of fathers where they were said they belonged.” Eduard slipped the glasses back onto the nose bridge where they also belonged. “But not my- what’s the word?” he cut the phrase short trying to remember the correct German word, “Ancestors. We all speak German. To not, like, forget our family roots or something. I don’t give a fuck about the roots, frankly. At least I can speak to you now. More or less a reason to have learned it.”

All this time the Dane was silently scrubbing the pages of his rather old but nevertheless priceless notebook with the tip of the pen. This is how the notes taken in this book usually turned into profound articles. His job was not to judge – he was there to listen, to comprehend, to write things down, to live them though and then to share them with the world. Judgment, in its purest form, was the readers’ job.

“Dare to tell me what you’re writing there all the time?” wondered the Estonian.

“Your story,” the Dane smiled. He could not ignore the change of emotions from amusement to understanding in Eduard’s eyes that followed after Mathias’ line and the way his lips stretched in a smile.

“’Course. You told me before,” smirked the Estonian and decided to finish his drink off. “I’m gonna be popular, ha. Life well spent.”

“Well, for purposes of confidentiality and protection of your personality I’ll have to change your name. For your own good.”

Eduard slipped off the bench carefully looking around to make sure no regular folk or law enforcement officer was watching and threw the empty bottle into the nearest wall observing it break into hundreds of sparkling pieces. Once again, Mathias did not say a word. Eduard put his hands inside the pockets of his leather jacket and, instead of taking back the seat next to the Dane, sat down straight at the cold sidewalk watching Mathias carefully. A sudden breakout of wind tousled his pink hair strands calming down as unexpectedly as it started blowing.

“You’re nice, vend,” he said.

“How so?”

“Well... you’re not from our folk but I guess you have our spirit.” Eduard started rummaging through the pockets of his clipped leather jacket apparently looking for a pack of cigarettes. “You don’t judge. You’re trying to understand us. Usually, all we’ve got is people spitting in our faces.”

“You spit back at them, though,” said the Dane pursuing no purpose of insulting him with those words or point at his imperfections.

“People are weird creatures,” Eduard replied finally feeling a thin body of a cigarette between his fingers and impatiently lighting it on. “They are living in this crap for decades and putting up with shit those idiots are doing to Estonia but can’t stand a view of someone who simply does not look like them. This is why I spit in their faces. Not because they wanna piss off my pink hair or something. I don’t give a fuck. I spit back because they don’t care about the freedom we gave them. Where have they been when we were trying to reach out for the world by transmitting signals via Finland? When we were crafting the self-made transmitters of mercury thermometers in order to receive the broadcasts from Helsinki and spread the freedom of speech? When we were breaking off the Curtain? Where have they all been? Ha, they simply tightened their grip on us as their own opportunity. They saw hope in us. The revolution. We are the cause of the first Song Festival of the Free Land. But now they seem to have forgotten this. Now they are all not worth an old song. This is why I spit in their faces.”

His words forever imprinted in the broad handwriting of the Dane on the pages of his slightly worn out notebook got carried away by the rising wind. Mathias could see with the corner of his eye that Eduard frowned attempting to keep the cigarette lit.

“Jeez, I’m starving. You, vend?” The Dane sarcastically mimicked Eduard with his own nickname watching the Estonian sit on the freezing cold stones of the paved road and have absolutely no worries for the fate of his balls. Mathias genuinely thought that today’s meeting with this shameless young Estonian had come to its end and Eduard would refer to other plans to justify the unwillingness to follow the Dane. However, he did not expect a smile that appeared on the Estonian’s face at that moment.

“Is it on you, then?” he breathed raising up from the sidewalk and Mathias watched his German words disappear into the thin air.

“If you promise to meet me tomorrow at the same spot.”

There was a moment of silence, and Eduard allowed himself to finish his cigarette and give Mathias his verdict.

“Where are you staying?” asked Eduard suddenly giving Mathias an impression that he tried to escape giving promises.

“Anywhere,” he said shrugging. “I don’t need much.”

“That’s dope,” followed the reply and Eduard put the cigarette up by stepping on it. “From now on you’re staying at our condo. I’ve got a room all by myself. If you promise to buy food for everyone, I’m not gonna charge you a kroon for rent.”

Mathias beamed.

***

“Aight vend, here are my boys. Guys,” this time Eduard spoke Estonian addressing his young fellows, “This is Mathias. He’s with me.”

“Here guys, I brought a new dick to stick in my asshole tonight.” Someone in the corner of a great living room made himself heard and the room burst with laughter. Eduard rolled his eyes letting the confused Dane know with the gesture that there was nothing to pay attention to.

“Anyway, from right to left. This is Taavi, he’s joined us recently. We sorta keep an eye on him.” The Estonian pointed at the youngest, to Mathias’ thought, dweller of this spacious flat, and he welcomed the guest with his middle finger. “This,” Eduard stepped over what seemed to be a lifeless body whose soul had definitely departed this cruel world, “Is Erkki. Don’t bother him, he’s a busy man.”

The Dane gave the body whose name had just been identified as Erkki a suspicious look.

“And... what’s so important that he’s doing?”

“He’s thinking of the fate of the Estonian folk,” Eduard concluded seriously shrugging his jacket off and moving on to the next members of his gang. “This is Aare. He got us this condo so his rent share is less than the others’. Here we have Jürgen. He’s got a brain bro, nice working brain. It only works when he’s sober, though. And finally, this is Urmas. Urmas lives for the sake of two things – songs and girls.”

Mathias really had to take his time to get used to the new environment as well as the new housemates who he intended to spend quite some time living with. In reality, there was something more to this excitement he felt in his chest. He was thrilled to realize that the inspiration he was longing for had finally found him here, in the very heart of the punk community that resembled a family more than any other company he had ever seen.

Mathias simply could not believe his own happiness. One shall not lose himself in a dream. One cannot come to the new county, meet such a precious person there in a few days of time and, to sum everything up, blindly trust this person with his own life by accepting the very first offer to come and stay with him and the entire gang of people with the indefinite background. As much as he wanted to, Mathias knew nothing about them. He did not know their reasons to live for, the air they breathed, the sources of their inspiration and ideas or the things that made their lives worth living. Here was where experience came to place. The experience that had the power to distinguish dreams from reality.

Mathias spent the entire night writing. He wrote about the flags decorating the walls, the posters revealing the lines that were banned from use not that long ago. He wrote about the music he could not perceive by himself and sought his new neighbors’ help in order to understand the solid meaning of the lyrics. Mathias wrote about him, about this Estonian sitting on the floor with a recently lit cigarette and his eyes closed in tiredness and a simple wish to face his thoughts. He wrote about Eduard who reached out for the Dane trusting him back, just like Mathias trusted him once, letting him into his little personal world as well as the enormous world beyond the boundaries of his soul. He wrote about his cornflower eyes, his unbelievably calm yet highly inflammable spirit that made Mathias’ heart skip a beat from time to time.

“What are you writing about now?” Eduard spoke and his dense voice reminded the Dane of the cigarette smoke he let through his fingers.

“Urmas lives for the sake of two things – songs and girls,” smiled Mathias and the Estonian gave him a skeptical look.

“Oh yeah, that’s super important. Almost everyone in this room likes girls, you know.”

“Almost?” the Dane asked him back noticing the unease that went through the Estonian’s body as he inhaled the bitter smoke in his lungs particularly deeply.

“You know what they call me? Lilla,” said Eduard avoiding the eye contact. “It actually means ‘violet’, like, a color, you got me? But that’s not really the point here, vend. They use it to insult someone who doesn’t like girls. It means ‘a fag’.”

There was a certain degree of tension settling down in the air after he became silent. At that very moment, Mathias did not feel like joking anymore. Instead, this feeling was replaced by chilling shiver going down his spine, the feeling that usually possessed his body in times of anticipation or shock. The Dane could not say for sure which one of the two feelings prevailed. However, he immediately drew a picture of what could happen in the streets of post-Soviet Tallinn to someone who Estonians called lilla. Someone who could be prosecuted for being lilla not that long ago, if not worse.

“Listen, I can omit this if it makes things better–”

Eduard immediately frowned his blonde eyebrows letting the smoke out of his chest.

“Yea, sure, go ahead if you wanna rid me of my dignity! Not for toffee. I let you in my life, I let you tell my story so do me a favor and tell it right!”There was a sort of anger in his voice but Mathias had no doubt it had nothing to do with the Dane himself but rather with the experience Eduard had faced in a lifetime. “I am not ashamed of who I am. I don’t give a fuck about what those assholes say and what meaning they give to this lilla word. I don’t give a fuck if they’re gonna find me, stab me in the chest or break my ribs. I won’t run. Because you cannot escape from someone who is everywhere. You cannot escape from yourself. It makes no sense! I am not afraid. I am who I am and I’m not alone. Right now we have to hide from the idiots in the streets but I swear to you, the day will come and we will let ourselves be heard. The revolution is not over yet, vend. We are still fighting and we will not stop until we get what we want or die trying.”

Eduard put up his unfinished cigarette leaving it in the common ashtray and stood up to start walking towards his room. He did not even give a chance for the Dane’s disarray to settle by giving him a brief line: “Are you coming or what?” Mathias followed him right away grabbing his stuff from the floor and vanishing behind the door to Eduard’s room until next morning.

***

In the next few days, Mathias’ good old notebook got filled in with notes to the cover. He even managed to find the ways to communicate with the rest of Eduard’s second family (not without his help, of course) whose thoughts and memories he also imprinted in the paper. Mathias tried to grasp every single little moment, every detail of their lives as well as Eduard’s brave and somewhat wise thoughts that came out of nowhere from time to time. Once it happened to him after the Estonian offer him a self-made joint.

“Do you want to die healthy or happy?” asked Eduard raising his eyebrows at Mathias’ refusal to his offer and explanation that smoking does no good.

“You think that dying both happy and healthy is not an option?” he parried. Eduard rolled his eyes inhaling the smoke and letting it out of his deeply smoked lungs.

“How do you even see this, ha? I know no one who would die because he had too much health. We all die. Someone dies from aging, others from injuries or accidents but anyway, everyone dies from an inability to handle certain effects. Everybody is given a particular amount of energy upon birth. Since that moment, we die every day because our bodies slowly give up the energy we were given. And then it gets replaced by exhaustion and tiredness. You simply haven’t felt it yet. But go out there and find, let’s say, a fifty-year-old dude. Ask him a question. Ask him out for a drink tonight and he will refuse. Because it is you who can drink all night long and then wake up at seven in the morning and go waste your life in the office or whatever like nothing happened the night before. He can’t do the same anymore because his body has let go of too much energy in all the years. One day we all come to this thought and then there’s nothing we can do. And so we let go. And as you see it has nothing to do with smoking.”

Mathias gave him a sly smirk but in his mind, he could not help but agree with the fact Eduard’s words did not lack reasoning.

“You’re way too smart for your 22, aren’t you?”

“It’s as easy as pie, vend,” the Estonian shrugged. “Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about that. There’s nothing too smart about it. It’s just who we are.”

Sometimes Eduard got lost somewhere in town having left Mathias his set of keys to not let the Dane find himself trapped in the apartment (and to allow him to get outside and do some grocery shopping just as agreed). The other day the Estonian would develop certain melancholy which only he could perceive and express by the unwillingness to leave the bed listening to J.M.K.E. and lighting up self-made joints one by one all day long. Mathias just let it be. Very soon both of them started to realize that their lives would have never taken any other direction. The nights they spent being half the time among the other gang members, half the time with each other made their souls collide to the point when they no longer felt that the usual night routine satisfied them both.

That night Eduard made sure the door to his room was locked. He simply did not want a single soul to distract him from the lips that tasted too sweet to Eduard’s thinking. He was the one to take this first step towards being even closer than before and, having made sure the Dane was eagerly reciprocating his insistent, almost demanding kiss, allowed the impossible to happen. The Estonian let him come too close, break through the layers of smeared makeup, pink hair and cocky words to reveal a vulnerable soul in his core. He let the Dane know him as deeply as no one had ever dared to even try to get to know him before.

After all, there was no difference between their bodies rushing together, willing to feel each other’s skin. Eduard lay open and naked in front of Mathias and the Dane contemplated his chest surge heavily, fingers stroking down the ribs, his skin covering some decent muscles underneath, his bluish veins revealing themselves as the Estonian tightened his grip on the Dane’s shoulders, their hips tenderly colliding and making their desires look so obvious. Mathias reached out for his neck caressing it with endless kisses and let Eduard’s hands touch the Dane’s body wherever he wanted. And oh he did just that. He was barely breathing, brushing his fingers against Mathias’ back in slow, soothing movements that trailed down to his hips, found the way to his chest and finally rested on his warm neck. All the differences between them did not matter anymore. There were no boundaries, no history, no culture or politics – anything that would draw a fine line between people in the outside world. In Eduard’s world behind the locked door there was nothing that would remind either of them of the different lives they used to live, though.

So Eduard allowed Mathias to get even deeper under his skin. He allowed the Dane to lock his arms around his body causing Eduard to let out a choked gasp and words whose meaning remained a mystery for Mathias. He allowed him to watch the Estonian arch his spine, to tangle his fingers in Eduard’s hair, to gently put their arousals together shifting the fingers in a soft yet intense touch. A whispering ‘keppi mind’ escaped into the distance between their lips filled with the thick, moist, almost burning hot air and Eduard squeezed Mathias’ waist with his legs letting him in, letting him come closer, letting him thrust into his body, making his insides burn. As they were melting together, the Estonian forgot his own name; he was calling Mathias by his instead for the first time since the very moment they saw each other by Kadriorg. That moment was enough for him to realize that perhaps they would not be a one night stand – and so he got lost in a long, open-mouthed, moist kiss as his body trembled in sweet relief...

As soon as the morning came, Mathias made himself clear about their fate. For the reasons that left the Estonian completely flabbergasted and set him off track, the Dane announced his departure later this evening. His job in Estonia was done and he did not see any other reasons to stay there any longer. At least, this was what Mathias said. He did not even give a single chance to either of them to let things sink in leaving Eduard alone with his bare soul hanging out of his body, shattered and broken into million pieces.

Of course, that was enough for Eduard to throw Mathias out of the condo together with all the stuff he brought in. He did not really incline to any mercy, say any last words or threat him with serious consequences should Mathias ever decide to come back. The Estonian simply did not see any merit in this. Was there any merit in this situation at all?

“Mida sa tegid?” was the only thought that rushed through his mind as Eduard was falling into an unconscious sleep. The regret filled his heart – the regret of having approached the Dane in the first place. If only he had known.

***

“East or West, home is best,” said the infamous expression. Some people praise it as the absolute truth. Others are always ready to challenge its meaning. One way or another, everyone perceives it in their own unique way.

For some of us, home is a place where we first saw the light of day. Indeed, those of us who find such place home contribute to its everyday life in order to make it at least slightly better for themselves as well as the others. For some of us, though, place of birth has nothing to do with home. It is a place that sets such people at a starting line of a lifetime creating numerous challenges and obstacles that make them wonder whether they are actually calling a right place a home. At that point, they wander along in their thoughts seeking a home where their hearts would settle.

Mathias had been running away his entire life. He fled each and every place that bore a threat to him – a threat of becoming attached to somewhere or losing himself. That night, while walking down the streets of the Estonian capital the Dane raised his head to look up at the roofs of two towers forming Viru Gates. Their usual spot. The spot where he and Eduard used to meet. The place that divided the present and the past, split the buildings of the New and the Old Towns as well as two young souls.

“What am I really doing here?” he was thinking. Lonely, lost, having his heart left somewhere in Kadriorg on a cloudy day in April. Standing in the country that used to be foreign to him but seemed to have become something so much more in the end.

Mathias could not tear his glance off the place where the Estonian, whose essence itself smelled of smoke and sweet caramel, waited for him every day the same hour. The paved road broadened in front of him in its medieval glory. The rows of colorful, almost toy-like houses framed the road leading to the place where the Town Hall Square tower proudly winded to the sky. Tiredness and weird thoughts occupied the Dane’s mind and he went through the Viru Gates once again, facing the void of a very familiar spot.

That night he seemed to have lost his ferry ticket to Helsinki, deliberately or accidentally, for he urged to reunite with the light of the cornflower eyes dimmed with the shadows of black makeup, the scent of the hair freshly dyed acidic pink and warmth of the spirit Mathias would never trade for anything in the world.

“Mul on nii kahju,” he whispered as Eduard surrounded him by tightening embrace of his shivering arms.

“Lilla.” That single word was everything the Estonian could say in return, too happy for the sentimental greeting. Mathias did not mind. After all, it was the Eduard he met by Kadriorg. Eduard he never wanted to lose anymore.

***

“Everyone, listen up! I’ve got my contact with the publishing! It means that my book will be translated and printed!” The Dane came back to the apartment on the seventh heaven. The loud cheers followed the announcement, someone in the familiar corner even left out a cheeky comment about all the work Mathias had to do to earn some decent sex that night. That, in return, was followed by a sound ‘ime lahti’ coming from one of the bedrooms revealing Eduard leaning on the door frame and smiling widely.

Surely, Eduard had other ways to express his happiness with the news: that is to give Mathias a particularly deep kiss – behind the closed doors of his room, of course.

“So, does it mean you came up with a final title after all?” Eduard asked exhaling some bitter smoke from a cigarette he reached out for after their lips parted.

“Guess so.”

“Dare to tell me what it is then?”

“Kodu. Home,” replied Mathias. “’Cause this story is about you, about me, about every one of us. About people of this small imperfect land where revolution is still raging. But we’re gonna fight through it, for our home, for our happiness... don’t you think so?”

Eduard just smiled.

#denest #aph denest #aph denmark #aph estonia #rarepair #eduard is punk af #mathias has a thing for a punk boi #the 1990s #punks #eesti #hetalia #aph fanfiction

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pidgydraws · 7 years ago

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What traditional drawing tools/supplies do you use?

OHHH~!!! (O w O) thank you for asking! i’ve used pretty much everything and anything over the years… but i’ve definitely narrowed it down to just a handful of favourite items in recent years!

1) zebra M-301 .5 mechanical pencil - i LOVE this pencil (7O A O)7 i love, love, LOVE IT! i’m sad when i can’t draw with it. i don’t use any better or cooler led inside than your standard .5 mechanical pencil led you get from Staples, but i just love how narrow and sturdy it is. the metal body of this pencil and the hard grip surface make it my all-time fav!

2) prismacolor premier fine line markers - i have use SO MANY expensive fine-line pens over my lifetime… UGG! and i’ve mostly hated all of them. very few of them held their line size over a long period of time or gave me the kind of true-black i was looking for. BUT OH BABY!!! i adore my prismacolor pens! they aren’t the most expensive and they don’t even seem that fancy, really! but the pen tips hold their shape great and the black is VERY black! i have yet to have a pen tip spread on me ~ something my very expensive copic pens did ALL THE DAMN TIME!!! my three go-to sizes are .005, .01, and .05!

3) staedtler mars plastic 526 60 eraser - has every artist owned this eraser? LOL! it’s THE BEST ERASER in my opinion! but!!!! i work exclusively in cheep, standard, HB mechanical pencil led! i can’t say what it’s like for other pencil types. but if you’re a mechanical pencil fan like me~ it’s THE BOMB!!! stupid cheep, available anywhere, and IT NEVER SMUDGES! at least, it never has for me! it also doesn’t ruin the shade of black pen lines as much as other erasers i’ve used. you’ll still lose maybe 10-15% of your blackness when you erase over it, but as long as the ink is dry i’ve never had a problem with smudging.

4) canson universal sketch book - i’ve had so many types of sketch books over the years… good gawd! and honestly… i mostly draw on computer paper these days because i draw SO MUCH that it’s a waste of sketch books! BUT! when i DO want to use a sketch book, my favourite is the basic canson one! the paper is pretty bright (i personally hate working on yellowish or greyish paper) and the tooth of the paper is pretty low. i don’t like a lot of texture because, again, i work entirely in mechanical pencil - so i don’t want a bumpy surface. it also takes ink well and is heavy enough not to bleed through for most uses. (though i always work with a backer paper anyway!)

5) kneadable eraser - i don’t have a favourite brand yet of kneadable eraser… but i will say this… I CAN’T DRAW WITHOUT IT!!! my process is 100% dependent on having a kneadable eraser!!!!! if you’ve never used on before - F’n go out and try it! OMMMGGGG~!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUUUCCCHHH!!! for anyone who’s never used one, a kneadable eraser is… just that! it’s squishy and stretchable and soft! (you have to keep it in a box or package at all times when you’re not using it! else it becomes filthy and useless!!!) you can shape it however you need! for me though… i use it to “layer” my work! after i finish a basic sketch i use it to remove 90% of the drawing’s opacity by “sponging” away the pencil lines! this makes cleaning up the sketch SUPER EASY!!! then i can remove 90% of THAT version (thus pretty much fully eliminating the basic sketch) and cleaning it up again and again until i’m happy! then i take away most of the pencil layer again before i ink! making it ULTRA easy to see my lines! (too bad it doesn’t help me draw them back in in ink better! LOL!)

anddddd… that’s it!!! (O w O) anything else i use is purely experimental, i am no longer a traditional artist… i made the switch over to digital too long ago… (T w T) i don’t really know what i’m doing by hand anymore! it’s too frustrating not to be able to cut and paste, size and rotate things! i was never a perfect artist and drawing by hand makes it even more obvious! THOUGH!!! (-^ O ^-) i’ve been getting more and more comfortable since i broke my tablet like a month ago now! hahaha! as usual~ practice, practice, practice is what it’s all about! no two ways about it! LOL!

in fact! i just bought that sketch book in the photos a couple days ago~ and i’ve been braking it in with a piece of my newest OTP!!! (oO w Oo) the hiatus has left plenty of time for games! and by “games” plural ~ i mean “game” singular… AKA… Persona 5 (no spoilers please!) (= w =) hehhehe~ (MC) Akira / Yusuke ~ aka shukita is my jam (T w T) omgggg… misunderstood criminal boy and soft artist boy… oh goodness… MY HEART!!!! WELL! (O v O) there will be a bit more traditional work to come before i get a new tablet~ so thank you very much to everybody who’s hung in there with me! i can’t wait to be back in action! (T w T) *feeble but loving hugs to you all*

(this question is also from many days ago~ (oO AOo) and again, i’m so sorry! the Tumblr app didn’t send me any alerts about new mail! i’m going to check more diligently myself until my hiatus is over when i get a new drawing tablet!)

#pidgy asks #oh my old art #traditional art #as of this morning i finally finished the sketch for this piece actually!#line art tomorrow!#wooo!#shukita #big fan #super fan!#wip #anonymous

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wigglebox · 5 years ago

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It’s muthafuckin spec taim (this gets long, but it’s not going to be under a cut, sorry)

(please note all spec is to be taken lightly and if it doesn’t happen in the show how we all think it will that doesn’t mean the show is wrong, we’re just testing our creative muscle here)

So basically, just like @7faerielights said. Here’s how it’s working out in some of our heads as we keep screaming about.

TFW isn’t really together for 6 and 7.

Back together for 8, probably tipped off of Michael's threat.

By 8, Dean is getting his fucking self in check and is ready for a conversation because if it doesn’t happen, Cas walks again. However, the conversation can’t happen because it keeps getting interrupted by constant action -- kind of like how we started the season off with (so we’ll end the first half with it!)

By the end of the episode, Dean’s like hey hell yeah we’re going to do this shit. There’s a lull in the action or something idk. Goes to where Cas is maybe in the bunker idk somewhere -- but he’s not there.

*Now, this is like super ultra mega spec, because now I’m speccing editing which I usually don’t like doing but -- I want Dean trying to find Cas around the area cross-cut with scenes as Michael bears down on Cas. Like, both happening simultaneously.

End of 8, Dean thinks Cas left him again because he didn’t get a chance to talk to him, and Cas is dead and thrown back into the Empty without Dean’s knowledge. (Why do I like this? First, I think Jake let slip that there were some scenes he was filming with Misha and didn’t mention anyone else, so I’m thinking isolation. ALSO -- we saw Dean’s reaction to death once, so it’d be nice to hold onto that, and have him just worry instead.)

So -- winter hiatus after that fuck fest of a fuckathon.

Episode 9 comes around. They don’t know where Michael went, they don’t know where Cas went. Cas won’t answer texts, or phone calls, but they aren’t correlating the Michael and Cas thing are related (maybe they think they killed Michael IDK). So, Dean, fucking dead set on setting things straight before he fucking loses that god damn nerve he managed to build up for the course of 5-6 episodes, decides to pray in a last-ditch attempt to get to Cas. If he won’t answer my texts and phone, fine -- maybe he still has enough strength to hear a prayer.

So we get prayer time. I don’t need to remind ye of the awful intimacy that praying is with this guy. Any per-the spoiler at DCCon, it’s like a confession prayer where Dean explains why he treated Cas the way he did. So, we don’t know what it’s going to entail, but it’s a very personal and private and intimate way of contacting him so -- whatever I’m taking it.

This is where I have several theories and Meg and I share one of them, which she laid out, which is, Jack hears the prayer, wakes Cas up. I like the first part of this because it’s a good bookend to when Jack woke Cas up last time when he heard Dean’s anguish. It’s like round fucking two.

Here’s where things get dicey.

What happens after.

Dean can somehow many his way up there with the help of Jack and Billie, but we also have no idea what’s going on up there.

There’s also the possibility Cas hears it himself. A stupid part of me wants him to be fighting the empty, Jack just waking him up all on his own, and they’re losing. Hears the prayer. Gets bolstered up. It’s like when the Whos all sang down in Whoville and the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes that day.

Dean and Sam and company can go up there, tipped off by Michael or Billie

Cas and Jack and fight off the Empty on their own

The prayer itself wakes Cas up but he doesn’t know what it really said.

...there’s a lot of variables once we get here.

One thing that’s making me think that Cas and Jack will be fighting it on their own for a little, or at least just Cas, because he’s not in the 10th episode we think. Also, at DCCon, Jensen said something about the episode that made it sound like it’s a MOTW episode or something, something about them not able to do fight how they’re used to (something about a cavity and a cold -- no idea what’s going on there).

So, if Cas isn’t going to be in the 10th one (he will be in the 9th one) then that makes me think that the boys aren’t aware yet of where Cas is.

OR, they are, and their weird episode 10 spoiler is just that -- fucking weird.

A reminder:

15x08 - Bucklemming

15x09 - Bobo Berens (*screams*)

15x10 - Andrew Dabb.

So -- what was the point of all this? Documentation I guess, in case we stumbled onto anything. Mostly just fun. I hate holding onto spoilers and letting them knock around in my head.

Okay so we’ve been tossing around some tentative spec in group chats on twitter and I thought I’d share it with you, tumblr peeps. So we know

1. Jack is still in the Empty with Billie as far as we know.

2. Adam is coming back and he’s gonna be Michael!Adam

3. According to Jake Abel, Adam!Michael is gonna kill someone.

4. In episode 9, Dean is going to pray to Cas and try to explain why he said the things he did.

5. Episode 8 is the mid season finale

So what if the person Michael!Adam kills is Cas. Then Cas ends up in the Empty and we resolve the Empty deal that way. Because I know they want to resolve it but I think it’s gonna be beyond difficult in the amount of time left to get Cas happy enough that the Empty would come for him especially with the way things are going. So let’s say Michael!Adam kills Cas in 8 and we end the mid season finale on a cliffhanger. We pick back up in 9 and Dean ends up praying to Cas because he’s nowhere to be found. Meanwhile in the Empty, Jack once again wakes up Cas either because he hears Dean’s prayer or just because. So Cas in the Empty gets to hear Dean pray to him and then he and Jack get to work negotiating his release. Back on earth Dean finds out that Michael’s offed Cas and starts on a plan to lay siege to the void when Jack and/or Billie chucks him in there and they negotiate Cas’s release with or without violence. Then Billie and Jack sit down with TFW and hash out some kill god plans.

So like I said this is really a very tentative spec and definitely has holes you could drive a truck through but I think at least some of it has some merit. I’m gonna throw it over to @wigglebox for additional commentary on that.

#reblogged #spn #spn spec #my spn spec #als #group spn spec #spn spoilers #long post #i just like FIGUTING OUT PLOT Y'ALL

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rationalclover-blog · 8 years ago

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morsance replied to your post “you know, all things considered, i only owe 21 replies and 7 starters...”

how do you actually inspire yourself to write/keep writing w/o getting discouraged abt some aspect or another like--hOW....

I know it’s a day later but lmao I wanted to reply to this anyway so... I just looked up the definition of ‘discouraged’ just so I was sure about what you meant lmao but if you mean this in regards to my own writing or just rping in general, well... I hope this helps or explains any, but I do have down points from time to time. They’re not usual & when they happen it often has nothing to do with actual writing and more to do with issues with others or stuff irl? Because on the real I’m sorry this is gonna sound cheesy as balls, but it’s true: I’m inspired by all my writing partners. I said it multiple times already, but whenever I don’t feel up to par I’ll just go back and read old replies & boom hi I can do this.

The thing is, though, that I typically am quite confident in my skills? not that I think I’m great, but I do think I’m decent? I have spikes of confidence & others not so great but I’m generally at a stable “cool cool” place omg. I just... okay, let me just say that in this aspect I’m logical as it gets: if I don’t see a reason to doubt myself then I won’t, generally (like i said, there are low times). So I just write because not only does it help me feel 10/10 to have a creative outlet like that (especially writing a character I love so much), but also because I rarely feel any pressure doing it? I just have a lot of fun, I manage my own time for replies, etc. and it just works out.

Like ok, here’s an example of something I did to keep on the fun once... I think the last actual anxiety inducing ultra discouraged problem I had was that a lot of my starters get ignored or missed, etc. u know, normal stuff? but since i used to write them super long and put so much effort i just felt personally bad? like i wasn’t worthy of a reply or whatever? that was my way of thinking it, at least. Of course I thought ‘hey these people are busy’ and ‘hey tumblr probably ate the notifications’ (also btw on that note, I installed an extension so I won’t see the amount of followers I have ‘cuz whenever I’d lose more than 1 at a time I’d feel like crap and now I don’t find out :’)), but my brain has its own logic. I’m just saying all this crap so you can see my anxious mind in action lmao, but basically what I did to stop those annoying thoughts as much as I could was: take a step back, realize stressing over things like this won’t solve anything & then I started tagging all my starters as ‘♣ starter’. The reason why I did that was so I could find them more easily & hence re-use them if ignored. LIKE OK LMAO I KNOW IT SOUNDS BAD, but there’s literally no downside. So now, whenever I have a thing where I’m like ‘this is really affecting me and I can’t write rn’ I try to look at it from a different perspective until I realize what the #problem is & what I could do to stop fretting over it.

I just think that all the positives are greater than the negatives; otherwise I wouldn’t be here. Whenever I feel like I can’t deal with tumblr, I take a break from it, but mostly I just enjoy being here and writing with y’all aaaah. Also, another thing that’s super important is having stable partners? Like, when I say I’m sad someone left or went on indefinite hiatus for an eternity, I’m not joking, that actually kills the muse no matter how much I may love it. I’ve never had such wonderful & stable partners as I do on Kent, honestly, it’s like a dream come true. But on the other hand, it’s absolutely awful to develop relationships & your own muse through them and around them just to be left alone fjaksldfjaslkfa that’s a very discouraging thing too. I guess what I’m saying is that I feel far too grateful and comfortable here to truly be discouraged for long periods of time. I’m just excite to write with more people fjalksfjakls

#morsance #♣ ooc replies #♣ tbd #i put this under a cut 'cuz it got long af i'm sorry omfggg #i was thinking about this question for a while 'cuz i wanted to give u a serious answer omg #i hope this is useful somehow fjaslkdfjaslfdajl #ooc

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guitareurope-blog · 6 years ago

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Ronin Mirari

I have been playing guitar for over 20 years new (a 10-year hiatus not counted). There were a few bands, a few projects, but none were really quite successful.A few years ago I realised I didn’t want to be part of a band no more, it’s just not my thing.I’m having enough trouble already interacting with people in daily life, so being in a band is actually just making things worse.

At some point, ditching all the non-music related clutter proved exactly what I needed to rediscover the sheer joy of playing music, discovering and learning every day.

So there you are, I am what is referred to these days as a “bedroom player” I think (I don’t have a YouTube channel though) and quite frankly, it was the best choice I made in years.

I made this blog because I am guitar-obsessed. I confess. I need guitars, I crave guitars.

Below is a list of all the ones I’ve ever owned, on a 30-year basis. Not bad I’d say (but surely there are many severe cases).

Session Super Strat

Fender pink Paisley MIJ Telecaster

Ibanez Frank Gambale S series

Hamer Chapparal with Sustainiac

Gretsch 1969 Country Gentleman

Ibanez Joe Satriani

Squire Telecaster

Ibanez Artist

Gibson Les Paul Standard

Hohner Explorer

No brand Strat

Peavey Super Strat

Nik Huber Dolphin

Collings LC-35

TLL Daphne

Hayride Telecaster

VC Telecaster

Maybach Lester

Gibson ES335 CS

Warmoth Strat

Epiphone Les Paul Custom Inspired by ‘55

Valley Arts Custom Pro

Gibson ‘57 JR Custom Shop VOS

And now, a Ronin Mirari.

This, my dear friends, was a life-changing experience.

It had such an impact, I felt I just had to write about it. Mainly because I’m just head-over-heels with it, but also because I thought it would be good to have a real-world review out there from a non-pro user, as honest and un-biased as possible.

I remember looking at the Ronin website a few years back, thinking I’d never come across one I’d be able to buy, they’re quite exclusive and are almost never to be found used.

But then it suddenly happened. A 2018 Mirari in Castilian Red was listed on Reverb. Mint condition. I sold my Gibson JR as quick as I could to free soms funds and took the leap.

I’ve never looked back since.

From the first day on I couldn’t put her down.

This is the most inspiring instrument I have ever played. And more importantly, it lasts. Every time when I put the Mirari on my lap, the magic is there. Over and over again.

I heard people put them off as “hipster guitars”, “overpriced boutique stuff that’s just well marketed” and so on …

I can tell you that every that word on the Ronin website is so accurately true, it is almost frightening. My Ronin lives up to every single-one of their claims. Period.

And don’t just only take the word of an unknown bedroom player all the way from Belgium, but also from well-seasoned musicians as David Torn, Keith Urban, Jo Mahieu, Eric Melaerts, Dan Phelps, Eddie Martinez, Walter Becker … to name a few. I’m definitely in good company here!

So, here’s my in-depth review.

The first thing you notice when picking up a Mirari, is the weight, or better, the lack of it.

It is ridiculously light.

Perfectly balanced and curved, it is a joy to play during long sessions, either standing or sitting.

Acoustically, there is a lot going on here, even before plugging in, playing this guitar reveals spectacular sonic qualities. Notes and chords ring and chime, there is plenty of definition and a wide range of dynamics at your fingertips.

I sometimes refer to complex wines as “3D”, in this case this description is equally appropriate.

It truly is a beautiful marriage, the redwood body and the mahogany neck, resonance is almost felt before heard.

Plugging in, all of the above gets amplified and multiplied.

Ronin makes their own pickups, mine has two Foilbuckers, standard wind.

You immediately notice how incredibly dynamic these are. They respond to every nuance in your touch. Hence Dan Phelps’ observation about them:

“Ronin guitars sound big, resonant, and nuanced. Between the old redwood and the foilbuckers, the sheer amount of sonic information coming out of my Mirari can be overwhelming. What I love about that is how much expressive possibility is available to me, literally at my finger tips. ” Dan Phelps

Compared to a Warmoth Strat I own, outfitted with an Amber Spirit of ‘59, (a relatively low output, vintage style HB) at the bridge, these pickups are even less hot. And ultimately this makes sense. Here’s what Marc Cuthbertson has to say about this, I couldn’t put it any better, so I just quote:

"Ronin have some very detailed pickups, even in their higher gain models. But I've never played a guitar where I thought, "this pickup isn't LOUD enough." I truly do not understand that concern. Guitars are for tone. Pedals and amps are for gain (and tone, of course). Most people do it backwards and that's partly why most people sound like most people.

Gain is the most abundant resource in the universe. You can have it easily and cheaply anywhere in your signal chain. I do not understand why people insist on getting it from the guitar. The guitar is the place to set your EQ curve. More often than not, when you coax gain out of the guitar, you do so at the cost of DATA...tonal details. Those 1's and 0's that carry the info about exactly how you picked or didn't pick that last note? Those are mostly in the highs, and those are the frequencies that you start sacrificing when you just HAVE to make the whole thing LOUDER by the time it even hits the first cable. There's no way to get that data back; it just wasn't transmitted in the first place. But if you come off the guitar with the data in tact, even if you darken at a pedal or the amp, tons of that data perseveres through that later darkening." - Mark Cuthbertson

When playing a Foilbucker for the first time, you most likely will have to adjust some amp/pedal settings. I found this actually very rewarding. Every small tweak translates into a huge difference in tone, due to the sensitivity and responsiveness of these pickups.

My standard go-to hi gain fuzz is a Catalinbread Antichton. Capable of producing huge amounts of sonic mayhem, pinpoint articulation is always there, even with tons of gain and while playing complex voicings.

The foilbuckers react to the slightest of touch, making them especially suited for fingerstyle techniques and players with a soft touch.

Construction is flawless as you may expect (and should) from instruments in this league. The neck profile, a traditional C on my Mirari, suits me perfectly, you just play and forget about it, which is a very good sign. It is extremely comfortabe but by no means a thin shred-affair.

Frets are Stew-mac 154, a high-ish medium wire. Paired with a 12” radius, this lends to a more contemporaty feel.

There is also a soft-V to C neck option for those wanting a more vintage style feel if desired.

Laquer is nitro and is executed flawlessly. The Castilian Red is deep and warm and has a beautiful solidness to it.

The neck is finished transparant, showing off the georgeous mahogany grain.

Hardware-wise it doesn’t get any better than this. Hipshot open-geared tuners and a Mannmade tremolo provide ultra-stable tuning, even when dive-bombing in the best of Van Halen manners.

I won’t go further explaning how this guitar sounds and plays, you’ll just have to discover it for yourself. By now I’ve already told you the most important things. Dynamics, responsiveness and unique tone are what it’s all about.

Jo Mahieu once said to me, “A Ronin isn’t for everyone”, and I now fully understand what he meant by that. The Mirari is a very confronting instrument, forcing you to play very consciously to reveal all the nuances she has in her. And when you do, she really gives back what you put in.

Sorry Jo, Ronin suits me just fine, she’ll have to stay :-)

Ronin Mirari

Specifications:

Body: Master Grade Reclaimed Old Growth Redwood

Neck: Honduran Mahogany

Heel: Mannmade® 4 Bolt Heel Plate

Frets: 22 Stewmac 154

Scale Length: 25.5”

Truss Rod: Single Action

Radius: 9.5”, 10” or “7.25-9”

Back Contour: C or Soft V .89 - .94

Nut Width: Approx 1” 11/16ths

Nut Material: Unbleached Bone

Inlay: Dots

Finish: 100% Un-Catalyzed Nitrocellulose Lacquer

Pickguard: Celluloid Nitrate Multi-ply

Hand Made Bone Nut

Weight: 6.5 - 7.0 lbs

Hardware

Mannmade® 2 Pin Full Size Steel Block Tremolo

Hipshot® Open Gear Tuning Machines

Electronics:

NOS Vintage .047uf 200V Tone Cap

Treble Bleed Cap + Resistor

CTS 250k Pots

Switch Craft® Switches

Pickups:

2x Ronin Foilbucker Standard Wind Set

2x Ronin Foilbucker HOT Set

Controls:

1x Vol 2x Tone + 3 Way Switch

Options:

Resonator Switch

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yourpalral · 7 years ago

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Blog 94 - This One’s A Bit Late - November 2017 Recap

Sorry I’m late with this. Oh well. November has been a very fun month. It started off with seeing Thor: Ragnarok with friends! I really enjoyed seeing the movie and it’s definitely one of my favourite MCU movies. The day after that I went over to Dave & Buster’s with some other people. I even got to see some friends that I haven’t seen in a while! A couple days after that I ended seeing Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You! Being in a theater packed with people who share a love for Pokémon and then jamming out to the original theme song (Mezase Pokémon Master is still the superior song) was a magical experience that I haven’t experienced since the Pokémon Symphonic Evolutions concert back in 2015. You can definitely bet I cried during that and also during the movie proper!

The month was pretty crazy for making videos since I worked very hard to get videos done for my hiatus that I’m still on. I wanted to get videos ready for when Ultra Sun and Xenoblade Chronicles 2 came out. Once I got those videos edited and scheduled I played Ultra Sun. A lot. It was fun. Of course I’m still playing it, but at a more slowed down pace since playing it every moment I could in two weeks was pretty exhausting.

The end of the month was packed with stuff as well. I had to pick up Jaime since he was visiting family and friends for Thanksgiving (his wife couldn’t go, but that’s because she was visiting her side of the family). Thanksgiving itself was fun and filling on my stomach. Anthony was also in town, but not as long as Jaime. I of course did my usual Black Friday shopping, which was mainly getting gifts for friends. The day after was mainly spent hanging out with Jaime since it was his last day and then me dropping him off at the airport very early in the morning. The last notable thing that happened in November is that I went on a date! The person I went out with was super awesome and we ended up seeing Thor (which I didn’t mind seeing again since it’s a great movie) and then getting dinner at a nearby Thai restaurant. There’s a good chance at another date happening again, but that’ll have to wait a bit because our schedules pretty busy. We just have to wait until our free time lines up. I can’t wait, because I really enjoyed my time with this person and I really wanna be with them again!

This is technically not in November, but since this post is coming late I may as well talk about it. Xenoblade Chronicles 2 came out and I’ve been having fun playing it!

#blog #monthly #november

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cutiecrates · 7 years ago

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Cutie Reviews: Kawaii Box October 2017

Nothing really to say today, let’s just into it :D

First up is some chocolate stationery, A duo set of Dessert Erasers, and a Donut Decoration Ink Pen. Doesn’t it all just look delicious?! The only way these could have been better would be if they included a chocolate-scent ♥

Pen Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s an average gel fine-tip-ish pen Kawaii Box usually sends us. It has average black ink but includes this adorable donut charm. It’s a bit plain in comparison to the other pens I’ve gotten but it works fine.

Eraser Duo: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

They look cute, and work very well. Yes, one of them is a box/bag of M&Ms, but that’s more my Mom’s candy; I preferred Skittles ;3

The chocolate train doesn’t just stop there Cuties, we also got some Strawberry Pocky (My favorite flavor) and this adorably detailed cupcake pouch :D Do you like cupcakes?? Or do you prefer muffins?

(I love both!)

Pocky: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Come on, we had to know there would be bias there right? It seems to never fail, I love strawberry pocky and somehow I get it repeatedly thrown at me. I think I’ve gotten it four or five times since I started ordering these crates last year.

Cupcake Pouch: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The quality is very smooth and firm, check out the detail on this baby :3 It even includes a spoon charm ♥ It’s very well made. It’s by the same people who made the kitty pouch I got from a prior crate if you remember that. The only minor complaint I can make is that because of it’s firm sewing, it’s not exactly the most comfortable pouch-type thing to use and you wouldn’t be able to test your limits without worrying it would start breaking apart... or is that just me?

It seems we’ve moved from chocolate to Sanrio Town ♥ You Cuties know how much I love sanrio~

Anyway here we have two cute hello kitty socks with a simple design to them. Btw, I love this method of holding the socks, it’s pretty neat.

The socks are very stretchy as well. The only real thing bothering me is that they are low cut, meaning they end like inches beneath the ankle... It used to be a pet peeve of mine when I was a kid, so it’s something I’m not used to now.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Next we get some cute accessories to go with our chocolate love and socks, including a Gudetama Ball Chain Charm, and a Harajuku Macaron Keychain.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

The Gudetama charm is relatively simple, featuring the lazy egg on his side with a bacon (maybe salmon or another fish??) blanket. It’s plain plastic material, but it also make a cute figurine if you don’t want to use it as a charm.

I love Gudetama, but it’s just so plain...

The other item is our adorable Macaron, with a picture of fries on it- something I thought more about than I probably should have. The macaron doesn’t open, but compared to the one I have that does, the quality feels higher with this one. It also includes two gold chain pieces, a white chain link, and two adorable spheres.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I think it’s really cute, but the concept of the fries is completely strange to me o_o it also looks a little bit too busy with all of these features.

We have one last Sanrio-related item before we move on to our next destination of kawaii~

This is a Sumikko Gurashi Plushie... who I actually have no idea the identity of. The only bird character I really know is Suzume, a sparrow. This is a small owl-like thing, but it’s cute none-the-less. It also includes a chain so you can bring it along with you.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s just a little plush but the details are nice; it looks so sweet.

And now we pull up to Sticker Junction, featuring this adorable Sea Creatures Sticker Set. It features a bunch of shiny, partially puffed dolphins and seals playing with a variety of toys and joined by plenty of fish, stars, and a crab.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The colors are nice and vibrant, the sheet includes several cutely detailed items perfectly for a fun scene (I used to love drawing things, then putting stickers on them x3). The only actual thing bothering me is that I wish they went with a fall/autumn or Halloween set, and usually they do provide Holiday stickers... but we still have November, so maybe we’ll get something related to the season then.

After a hiatus we have finally reached our last destination- craft city :D If you Cuties have been around for a while you may recall that it’s been a good while since we had a DIY or craft item in the box. I really missed them and I can’t really fathom why they stopped putting them in each month.

Anyway this is a simple (also known as ‘cheap’) stamp set. You can probably figure out why I found it so cheap just looking at it.

(If you can’t, look at the circle on top, the large square on the bottom, and the stamper next to it. Their stickers are poorly placed!)

In this stamp set you get 3 shaped stampers (ice cream, animal with balloons, and two cute little people), a rolling stamper (I love these!), a long stamp, and the ink pad.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

I love stampers and collecting them (I know I collect everything : P), and I kind of like that you can put in the pink little rubber pads yourself. But I find it kind of annoying that you need to get your hands inky to pull them out and clean them. As stated above the sticker placements on them scream cheap, and my ink pad wasn’t even fastened to the base!

The stamps do work out fine though, and you could easily buy your own ink pad to use if you didn’t like this one or have any others. The cheap quality is just painfully obvious. While the stamps are cute, I think I would have preferred a DIY candy kit (I miss those too) to this...

(btw sorry this is a little blurry, I didn’t realize that when I took the picture...)

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - ♥ ♥ ♥ I like the content, everything was either really nice or average. There wasn’t really anything new or exciting about this one though.

Quality - ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Everything was fine, but the cheap quality of the stamp kit was a little annoying. This isn’t exactly new though, because we’ve had a few kits that were like... kinda ultra-cheap.

Theme - ♥ ♥ Like... it shows Halloween on the card (front and back!), but we got nothing halloween related. We didn’t even get any fall/autumn items DX the only reason why this has a 2 is because several items are linked by some mean.

Total Rank: 9 out of 15 Cuties. Despite liking the items fairly well I honestly believe this is probably the lowest Kawaii Box rating ever. It’s not bad, but I know they can pull off a theme if they just tried, and it feels like they don’t. Not only that but they’re so predictable that I can usually guess everything in the box with the occasional surprise. Their lack of creativity really disappointed me with this box.

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Hello Kitty Socks - The design is fairly simple, but I really like how cute they look :3 Hello Kitty is winking and it’s so precious!

2. Erasers - Fairly simple, but they look so cute and sweet.

3. Dolphin Stickers - Look at those sweet faces~

4. Strawberry Pocky - Nothing special, but the box has an ultra-cute design~

5. Cupcake Pouch Thing - I love it’s details!

6. Macaron - As much as I love them, it’s too busy for me.

7. Stamp Set - This would have ranked higher if the quality wasn’t so cheap.

8. Owl-looking Plush Charm - Fairly simple, but cuddly~

9. Gudetama Charm - again plain, but still cute.

10. Donut Pen - The charm is adorable, but it’s so plain.

Alrighty guys, that was pretty painless huh? As I said, I did enjoy the items like usual but the lack of creativity made it severely boring. I’m also glad I was able to convince myself to get to this, considering I was putting it off the past few times due to “kawaii box controversy” as of late.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Next up we got our two Beauty boxes so until next time, stay cute :D

#cutie reviews #kawaii box #sanrio #gudetama #sumikko gurashi #harajuku #pocky #dessert #stamp kit

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