#also sorry I am very late so I thank you for your patience too!!!

[smalltimidbean]

I really really like the pumpkin clone and I wanted to draw them meeting my little fake peppino guy 🕺

(my sincerest apologies if I got their personality wrong)

GJFDSLK THE TUMMY IS ANGY!!! Or just hungry? Probably the latter, but who knows jkdfk

Thank you for this, it made me laugh very much kgdfk, and your Fakie is very cool too!!!

[subbmissivesuccubus]

I don't know if this kink has a name but I am just obsessed with super casual boob play lmao

Also!!?? Thank you guys for helping me reach 2K followers! It's so exciting and i've been having so much fun writing and reading the smut on this website. Here's to many more stories which hopefully give you the tingles <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, so that's the groceries we need for this week."

"Mmm."

"Oh, don't forget to buy flowers! It's my moms birthday tomorrow."

"Mmm."

"Are you even listening?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared at your boyfriend, the man simply staring at you.

"Mmm."

"Ok, so that's a no." you said, rolling your eyes before snapping your fingers in front of your boyfriends face, the man jumping and blinking a few times as he was brought back to reality.

"Can you pay attention now?" you asked sternly.

"Sorry. I was too busy staring at your tits." he said honestly, making you sigh. There he goes again with his very obvious boob obsession, your man having a clear fetish for your breasts.

"Well, if you continue to ignore me, you won't see my boobs for a week."

"Or, you flash them to me now, I promise I'll remember every single word you say."

"Oh my God."

"Come here, baby. Come here." he begged, hands reaching out to quickly grab you by the hips and drag you forward, his nails digging into the fabric of your skirt as he all but manhandled you onto his lap, smiling at you as he got your legs to straddle his waist.

"You're a degenerate." you snarled as you placed your hands on his shoulder, more than familiar with this particular song and dance.

"I'm your degenerate. And besides, this is your fault you know." he said, casually fisting the hem of your t-shirt before pulling it up, "If you didn't have such perfect titties, I wouldn't be like this!"

"So you weren't obsessed with boobs before you met me?" you questioned, allowing him to tug the t-shirt upto your chin, the man greedily looking at your bra covered breasts. Not having the patience to take the shirt off of you completely, he simply pulled it over your head so it looped around the back of your neck, your arms still in the sleeves but he didn't care as all he wanted was access to his favorite part of you.

"Of course not." he said confidently as he all but face planted into your cleavage, groaning in delight as he pushed his face in as deep as he could go, "I only got obsessed when you came into the picture."

You huffed, trying to fight the blood rushing to your face and between your legs as you fisted a hand through his hair, tugging at it a bit as you got his attention:

"Are you going to listen to me now?"

"Mmhmm." your boyfriend groaned, nodding a yes against your boobs, truly happy being surrounded by your plump flesh. Sighing, you once again told him what he needed to buy for groceries, allowing him to grope and kiss you wherever he wanted. His tongue ran over your skin, huffing and humming in response every time you asked him if he was listening.

He soon pushed your bra up as well, too eager to bother unhooking it as he placed it against your collarbone, the elastic of the band digging into your skin and making your tits look even more delicious than before. He opened his mouth and took a nipple in, closing his eyes as he started suckling gently, his arms wrapped around you and pulling you in closer.

"H-Hey..." you moaned, gripping his hair tighter as he suckled on you, "It's getting late. You need to leave before the stores close."

"Mmhmm. I know." he muttered against you, tongue coming out to flick at your nipples a few times before he moved to the other breast, giving her the same treatment, "Just- fuck- give me a minute."

You sighed, jumping as you felt his hands move down to your ass, taking greedy gropes of your butt as he lost himself in the sensation of your breast in his mouth.

Yeah, you were not getting your groceries today.

~~~~~

You slipped away from the group of friends in the living room to your bedroom, wanting to get your phone which had hopefully finished charging by now. As you were checking your phone and responding quickly to a few messages, you suddenly felt a hand on your waist that swiftly moved upwards and groped your right breast.

"Eh-hey!" you hissed softly, head snapping back towards your boyfriend, his touch so familiar that you instantly knew it was him, "Cut it out! We have guests!"

"I know but I just need one suck, ok?" he asked even as his other hand came up to start unbuttoning your shirt dress, "I'll be super quick, I promise."

"You- ah!" you squealed as he got the buttons undone enough to expose your bra, his fingers digging into the cup of the right side to pull it down, revealing your bare breast to the crisp air. He turned you around and quickly bent down and took the nipple into his mouth. Your head kept snapping between him sucking your nipple and the door, on edge as if anyone walks in, it would be very obvious.

Your man groaned as he suckled on your nipple, eyelashes tickling your skin as he closed his eyes. The sound of the TV and chattering was loud enough to thankfully drown out his groans, your boyfriend suckling you so hard it made your toes curl.

"Wh-you-" you hissed as his hand quickly pulled down the other cup of your bra and exposed your other breast, "You said only one!"

"I know but I can't not suck her too!" he protested, giving your left nipple a greedy lick, "she'll get jealous!"

"What the fuck are you talking abooouuttt!" you gasped as he suddenly took the nipple in and sucked on it as well, just as vigorously. You stood there for a few seconds, allowing your maniac of a boyfriend to suck and feel you up before he finally pulled away.

"Just what I needed. Thank you baby." he said, kindly helping you stuff your tits back into your bra and right your dress, giving your tits a final squeeze before he walked out of the room, leaving you a frustrated mess with your nipples tingling.

What a menace.

~~~~~

It was movie night, one of your favorite ways to spend time together. It was always a treat to just relax with your boyfriend, put on a random movie, eat popcorn and talk.

And of course, he also loved that he gets to play with your tits the whole time.

You huffed as your boyfriend pulled you onto his lap, his legs spread wide to accommodate you between them. Bowl of popcorn in hand, you munched away at the treat even as your man slid his hands up your shirt, aiming for your breasts.

"Ew, why are you wearing a bra?" he asked, clicking his tongue as his hands got in contact with the soft fabric.

"Sometimes I like having my boobs supported by something, ok? Fucking sue me."

"You don't need a bra to support your tits when you have my hands. I'm taking it off."

Before you could even protest, your man slid his hands to your back and unhooked the bra masterfully, practically an expert at it at this point. He was about to push the straps down your arms and pull the bra out from under your shirt but then he realized- why are you wearing a shirt? You might as well be topless as he was going to play with your boobs the whole time anyway.

So with your shirt and bra tossed onto the floor, you tried your best to focus on the movie playing on screen even as your boyfriend happily groped away at your tits. Ample flesh spilling out between his fingers, he squeezed you like a toy- like your tits were something he could use to alleviate stress. Occasionally, he'd flick his fingers over your nipples, working them up to stiff peaks before gently pinching them between his thumb and index finger. He'd place his hands underneath your breasts, cupping them before he bounced them up and down, loving the feeling of your heavy flesh landing on his palms, the ripple of your breasts on impact instantly making his cock hard.

And of course, as usual, once he was done playing with his hands (which was practically an hour long activity), he'll move onto his mouth. Your body automatically moved along with him as he lifted you up a bit higher onto his lap, looping an arm over his shoulder so he had the space to lean down and take a nipple into his mouth.

"Y-You're not even watching the movie, are you?"

"Mm-mmm" he responded, shaking his head no against your breast, his response making you shiver. You rolled your eyes and continued to watch the movie, failing at it even before he started sliding his hand into your pants.

~~~~~

Of course, your boob obsessed boyfriend can't sleep unless it's on said boobs.

"Take it offfff!" he whined, wrestling with you as he harshly tugged at your shirt.

"It's cold!" you protested as you tried to pull the fabric back down over you, "I'm going to freeze!"

"I'll keep you warm! You know the rules- no clothes in bed."

"You're wearing clothes!"

"Yes but I don't have a pair of delicious tits that are just begging to be suckled!"

"Oh my God- fine, how about this?" you asked, slapping his hand away from your shirt before you pulled up upto your chin, flashing him your bare boobs, "Just get in here and I get to keep the shirt on."

"...Why didn't you just say so?"

You grunted as you were tackled, pushed to lie down on the bed as your boyfriend landed on top of you, face first into your tits. You pulled your shirt over his head, covering the dopey smile on his face as he used his hands to push your tits against him, shaking his head from side to side as he motorboated you.

He thankfully still had some sense to pull the blanket over the two of you and you were able to dim the lights, whipping your phone out so you can get some screen time before you went to sleep. You felt wetness on your left nipple, your boyfriend finally done with shaking your fat tits in his face.

His tongue ran in circles over the hard bud, dragging it slowly as he knew he could take his time. He started flicking your bud harshly, his hot tongue making you shiver with each flick. Eventually, he sealed his lips around it, groaning happily as he started to suck. He was noisy- moaning like he was eating a delicious meal and the slobbering noises of him feasting on you making your ears ring, the pressure he used to suckle on you keeping you on your toes.

As he sucked on the left one, his hand came up to play with the right, toying with her as he got her ready to be sucked next. He rubbed the nipple around with his thumb before pinching it gently, giving her a few twists once in awhile. He was latched onto the same nipple for almost 30 minutes before he moved onto the next one, but not before dragging himself from underneath your shirt and pushing the fabric upto your chin.

Fuck it. You were falling asleep and now your body was running hot so you didn't really care.

"Baby... I want-" he gave your nipple a kiss before he snuggled his face into the fat of your breast before looking up at you, "I want to drink your milk. Make it for me."

"How many biology lessons did you fail for you to think that's possible?" you asked, your eyelids drooping and voice heavy.

"Why are you not pregnant yet? I cum in you like, everyday."

"...You know I'm still on birth control."

"I know but I'm confident I can defeat it."

"Mmkay, keep dreaming. Now shut up- i'm gonna sleep."

"...Stop taking your birth control."

"I'm not having a baby just so you can drink some breast milk."

"Of course not. We'll have a baby because we're in love and we'll be together forever!"

You opened one eye and looked down at him, letting him know you were not impressed.

"...And so I can drink your milk."

"Just keep sucking or sleep."

He pouted before he took your left nipple into his mouth.

~~~~~

Gojo Satoru, Haibara, Shanks, Sanji, Luffy, Ace, Kaeya, Kaveh, Childe, Cyno, Itto, Uzui, Sanemi, Eren, Jean etc. etc.

[amorfista]

MISCHIEF IS ON! [WIP]

I am so very slow and eternally sorry for it 🫠

I've been stuck and feeling not so 100% lately but IM BACK ON TRACK!! So here's proof I'm not dead ;V; thank you for your patience!!

The comic won't be as fully rendered as the previous drawings because my time is very limited :( and I don't want to take weeks between drawings. But I'm feeling pretty comfortable with how it's looking so far (I have more than this finished but I didn't want to spoil too much hihihi) so, I hope you like it!! ♥️

(under the cut because it's art rant)

Even though this project is taking me out of my comfort zone, it is also helping me learn lots of things such as face expressions, different angles of the body and the face, body depth, and making characters interacting with each other physically, which is a challenge I'm happy to take!!🦾

Feedback is welcomed and appreciated!! ❤️

[hyperfixatedbastard]

Hi i hope you doing well. I have a resquest... more like a headcanon. What if Adam was a dad ? What his behaviour will be ? Does he be a good or a bad father ?

I understand if you don't do it. I don't want to force you for something you don't want to.

Dadam (Dad!Adam) Headcanons

we bringing out the daddy issues on this one boys

WARNINGS: none

A/N: I haven't done a headcanon type of post yet, but they're easier to write than regular one shots and I'm too tired for that shit. The request didn't specify what kind of Reader (spouse or child), so I just went with general headcanons that don't specify the Reader at all. Insert yourself as you wish!

Also, thank you all for your patience! It's been very busy for me lately and I've been too exhausted to write much, so expect a lot more of these kinds of posts (the formatting is easier and I don't have to write a bunch of dialogue lol).

Dividers

As the father of humanity, Adam had...a lot of kids. The guy lived for 800+ years just populating the earth. That's a LOT of kids. We all know how the first two turned out. That is, not fuckin' well. To be honest, I don't think Adam valued his children. It was just kinda... a thing he had to do. (When Abel died and Cain got exiled, he fr just went and had another kid to replace them.) But I am in deep, deep denial and this is for my enjoyment as someone with severe daddy issues. So fuck all that.

At first, Adam is 100% the guy that freaks the fuck out when he finds out he knocked someone up. That man is SWEATING. He's actually pretty chill if it's someone he's in an established long-term relationship with, though. He still freaks the fuck out, but to a significantly lesser degree and with a much smaller chance of up and leaving. Once he's over the initial shock, he's shocked to find that he's kind of excited. Back when he was alive, having kids was just normal because it was such a common occurrence.

This man knows every little detail about pregnancy and infants. With the amount of kids he's had? He has seen it ALL. Sure, all his information is thousands of years old, but knowledge learned through experience is super valuable when it comes to this shit! He doesn't know what the fuck a uterus is, but he knows exactly how to make his partner the most comfortable, how to deal with cravings, etc. If his partner has a problem, he's got a solution. It might be a fuckin' weird one, but it works! He'll probably grumble and complain, but he doesn't actually mean it. Bitching is just his thing, y'know? But... pregnancy hormones + Adam's douchebag-ness = feelings getting hurt. If his partner starts crying because of some shit joke or complaint he made? He's scrambling so fast. "Shit, babe, fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, fuckfuckfuck, don't cry—"

Once the baby is born, he definitely surprises literally everyone but his partner by actually doing helpful shit. Changing diapers? Easy fuckin' peasy (he does watch a tutorial online because he doesn't know how tf modern diapers work but he's a fast learner) Feeding? No problemo. Getting up in the middle of the night to do both of those things? His sleep schedule's already fucked, this shit ain't new.

When it comes to parenting and raising the kid, though... that's definitely where Adam struggles. He'd struggle with bonding. A lot. Adam mostly talks about things that you really shouldn't say around children, much less bond over. I think he'd be better at just letting the kid ramble while he's just sitting there, fully engrossed in whatever bullshit his child is saying. He's not just passively listening with little 'uh-huh's and nods, this man is active in the discussion. Have you ever heard a small child speak? They say the most random shit ever, and Adam would love it. It's peak entertainment to him. Even if it's just incoherent babbling, he'll have full-on conversations with this baby.

He'd definitely have some shared interests as the kid gets older. I think Adam's favorite shows/movies are a mix of action movies and shit like Power Rangers. He's not ashamed of it either—'fuck you, the Power Rangers are fuckin' cool.' This also goes for video games. I know that man is a toxic COD gamer boy and you can't prove me wrong. Basically, the only thing that keeps him from becoming one of those husbands that locks himself away in a man cave to play video games is the fact that he can game with his kid.

And once they get into school, he just gets really invested in the drama. Elementary school drama is such bullshit, and it'd be the best reality TV he's ever seen. "Oh, don't tell me—it's that bitch Cindy. The fuck did that little shit do this time?" He'd be gasping like it's a damn soap opera. 'Oh no she didn't!' kinda vibe.

He'd talk so much shit around his kid about the parents of their classmates, the teachers, anyone. Then the kid would repeat it and Adam would get sat down in the office with his kid like: "Your child said, and I quote, 'My dad says your mom's a bitch.'" "What? She fuckin' is." And yeah, he's not wrong - some of those parents are fucking nightmares.

If his kid got in trouble for fighting, his reaction would depend on the situation. If it was unprovoked and/or a part of bullying, he'd originally laugh it off but would be freaking the fuck out internally. He's probably a little traumatized by what happened with Cain and Abel. But if the fighting was an act of defense (whether of themselves or someone else) he would be the proudest dad ever. Fist-bumps his kid in the office in full view of the principal.

You cannot trust this man to give his kid the sex talk. It just will not go well. Like, if his kid needs advice when they're older (basically anything beyond 'where do babies come from') then he's your guy, but it's still gonna be awkward and uncomfortable. He'd probably have Lute handle most of those issues just so he doesn't have to know about his kid's sex life but can still trust that they have a responsible(?) adult if they have questions.

In terms of where Adam is lacking as a parent, there's a few areas in particular to focus on.

Emotional availability? Not his strong suit. At all. He can't deal with his own feelings, let alone his kid's. Most of the emotional support will be coming from his partner. That doesn't mean he doesn't try. But he can't show it with words all that well. He'll show emotional support in other ways—quality time, gifts, and acts of service for the most part. Like going out for ice cream, watching a movie, etc.

He's not good with discipline. To him, everything's no big deal. If his kid hasn't killed their sibling, that's good enough for him! Generally, his partner will choose when/how to discipline (with Adam's input ofc), but Adam's job is to just enforce it/not overrule it. He's 100% the type to be sneaky about it tho. If his kid is grounded, he'll go out with them to give them a break from being stuck in the house, y'know, stuff like that. Because of this, his kid forms a closer, different kind of bond than with Adam's partner. It's more friendly, I guess is the word? Like, his kid won't go to him for actual helpful advice, but if they fuck up somehow or are in a bad situation that they kinda got themselves into (drinking, car accident, etc.), then Adam is the parent they call.

I think Adam's peak parenting era would be when his kid is a late teen/young adult. 'Cause then he can actually be himself, for the most part. His personality is not very kid-friendly, so once his kid isn't really much of a kid anymore—he is so fucking excited. His relationship with his kid would be a lot more unconventional as they grow older. Like, he's really close with his kid once they're an adult. (totally not basing this off my relationship with my mom) His advice would be shit, but he'd give it if his kid needed it!

Definitely the type to text his kid more often than most parents. Mostly because he texts more like them and has the same sense of humor. Lots of shitty memes.

Also!! I think Adam would definitely make time for his partner. Date nights are a must. His kid better get comfortable with sleepovers at friends' houses or getting babysat by Emily 'cause he ain't letting parenthood fuck up his sex life.

I think that's all I got. Not sure how to end this so uh... shoutout to all you bitches with daddy issues lmao

Taglist: @little-miss-chaoss @fakeguysarehot @3sire-777

[mirage-aera]

Hi, I’m new here! I’m not sure if requests are open or if you’re currently writing for ghost, but could we have a scenario where there is a new female ghoul and they’re trying to figure out where they fit in the hierarchy. She’s bratty and challenges sodo, but he’s having none of it and it gets a bit smutty/suggestive and has her submitting. Thank you and my apologies if you don’t write anything like this!

Hello there! They are open, so thank you for the request. I am also terribly sorry for the very long wait. I have been having trouble with my writing motivation but it's back!

•°. *࿐ Rocky start

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Take Me Back To Eden - Sleep Token

Sodo x fem!reader

The new ghoulette challenges Sodo, he’s not amused in the slightest.

Word count: 1.590

Ghost masterlist

It’s been a while since you’ve been summoned to the top. You were summoned to replace Aether for the upcoming tour while he stays back to help around the clergy. Copia and the other ghouls and ghoulettes have noticed that you are having a harder time adjusting to the surface than previous ghouls. For a quintessence ghoulette, you’re a bit more snappy than usual. As days go by, some ghoul’s patience is running thin. That certain ghoul is Sodo. There isn’t a time of day when you two aren’t arguing. To their confusion, you are a lot more agitated around Sodo than the others. Yes, you have your moments with the others but it’s never as bad as it is when you’re around the fire ghoul. Sodo has noticed it too and isn’t too thrilled, to say the least.

You’re in the practice room with the rest of the band, rehearsing for the upcoming shows. Currently, you are on a short break so everyone is conversing or playing something random. Sodo is trying to fix his solo since he kept messing it up previously during the rehearsal. You, wanting to annoy him a little bit, decide to play the solo as well but add your little twist. As he's nearing the solo you start getting ready and crank your amp up. You both start playing, at first he doesn't notice but as he messes up again, he growls and throws his pick across the room. You, however, continue playing. You finish his solo perfectly. You place your guitar down and give him a sly smirk, "wanna try again, Sodo?" Some snickers could be heard throughout the room. He snarls and flips you off, "yeah yeah, whatever." Just as you open your mouth to say something Copia pipes up, "Alright, ghouls and ghoulettes. From the top!"

***

As the rehearsal goes on. Everyone within the room can tell how fired up Sodo is. At least, more than usual. He plays with a lot more passion, aggression, and spirit. At some point during the rehearsal, you were going to match or top his attitude to get a rise out of him, but the look that Copia gives you says enough. It’s like he’s saying, ‘Don’t aggravate him further.’ And for once, you pull back a little on your playing and continue as if there isn’t tension in the room. An early practice already sets off the fire ghoul and topping it with your attitude isn’t the ideal morning for the said ghoul.

You can see from the corner of your eye that he’s fiddling with his pedals. His guitar and pedals have been giving issues as of late, during practice and the rituals. “Fuck!! Stupid thing won’t work!” He shouts out with frustration. He fiddles with it once more before giving up and throwing his pick at it. “Maybe if you stop throwing shit at it, it would work.” You mumble out. He hears it and snaps his head to you, “what did you just say?” he asks in a low tone. “I said, maybe if you stop throwing shit and kicking at it, it would work.” He glares at you, “maybe if you mind your own business I can get it to work.” He retaliates. Copia sighs, “(Y/n), take over his parts until he fixes it. We don't have time for this.” You nod and smile triumphantly at Sodo. “Oh! Of course, she gets my parts! What a fucking joke.” Copia gives him a pointed look, “Sodo if you need a minute to cool off, feel free to do it outside of this room.” He takes of the strap of his guitar and holds the guitar by its neck and storms off, “fine!! You don't need me anyway! Do this stupid rehearsal without me!” and with that he slams the door behind him closed. Looks are exchanged with each other throughout the room.

“Should one of us talk to him?”

“He won't set the clergy on fire, right?”

“Maybe one of us should go after him, to calm him down.”

“I can go.” You propose to the group. Swiss chuckles, “no offense, he hates you the most. You'll just set him off more.” Copa sighs and pinches his nose bridge, “no one needs to go after him. He’ll calm down on his own. And no, he won't set the clergy on fire. He has enough self-control. Okay from the top now, 5, 6, 7, 8.” You all look at each other and shrug. Deciding to trust his judgment you continue playing, without Sodo.

***

You can't help but dwell on Swiss’ words the whole morning. ‘He hates you the most.’ It hurts to think about it. ‘Does he actually hate you?’ you ask yourself. You hope not, you actually like him a bit, even if it doesn't look like it. You walk mindlessly through the halls of the clergy, some halls you haven’t even seen before. Eventually, you reach the gardens. You decide to spend a couple of hours there. You look around the scenery. It is well kept by the earth ghouls. You spot Mountain among them, you smile and give him a subtle wave. He notices and smiles and waves back. You see a tree near the pond where the water ghouls like to spend their time, especially during the warm summer heat. You take a seat at the base of the tree and watch the handful of water ghouls swim around, splash around, and relaxing. You look around some more and you see the air ghouls playing around with the kits. And the fire ghouls... well they are being typical fire ghouls. Messing around with the other ghouls and goofing off. Even the few multie ghouls that the clergy has are scattered about. They’re spending time with the other elements. But you see no quintessence ghouls. What are their roles? What is your role in the clergy? Eventually, the sun sets and the ghouls are heading back inside. You, however, decide to take in the serenity of the garden while you can.

You spend how many minutes before Aether walks up to you. You look up at him and give him a questioning look. “I thought I'd find you here. Come inside, before they start eating your dinner.” You nod and take his hand that he outstretched for you. He pulls you up and leads you inside.

“Aether?” he hums in acknowledgment. “What do we quintessence ghouls do? All the other elements are outside doing different stuff.” He chuckles, “is this why you are bothering Sodo so much? He's your mate, isn't he?” You slap him on the arm, to which he laughs at. You're only proving his point. “Well, we help out the papa’s if they need it. We also occasionally help out Sister Imperator and the other sisters and brothers. A simple job really, not much to it if I do say so myself.” You thank him, and before you know it you're at the dinner table. You sit across from Sodo, who's picking at his food. All the other ghouls and ghoulettes at the table have already finished if not, almost finished with their food. Sodo usually finishes by now. You put your knife and fork down, “Sodo?” He raises a brow, acknowledging you but not saying a word. “I’m sorry about earlier during rehearsals, and for the earlier weeks. I have been giving you a hard time for no reason.” Sodo grunts before standing up and stalking over towards you. He wraps his hand around your arm and pulls you up from your chair. Aether looks at you to ask if you need him to intervene. You shake your head, wanting to see what Sodo wants. He drags you out of the mess hall. He walks over to his room and nearly throws you inside. He pins you to the wall and gets close to you, so close that you can feel him heavily breathing. “You know we are mates, correct?” He asks you. You nod timidly, clearly having lost your tongue. “Then why have you been giving me a hard time the whole fucking time since you have arrived here?! You have been nothing but rude to me, insulting me, trying to put me down. I can't even hate you for it, because I love you too much.” You raise a brow, “you love me? Even after all of that?” He nods, “when you have a mate, you just want to be close with them, love them. But you make it so fucking difficult. Why have you been doing this?”

You sigh, “I don't know.” He looks at you incredulously, “you don't know?” He repeats. You hesitate before continuing, “I loved you, I still do. I just didn't know where I belonged. I was confused, angry, and upset for being suddenly summoned, expected to know everything and take over Aether’s position so soon. And I took it out on you, I realize it was wrong of me to do so. I'm sorry Sodo.” He loosens his hold on you, “you could've just said so. We would've helped you. I would've helped you. All you needed to do was ask.” You hang your head low, ashamed of your actions. He lifts your chin up with his finger, “but I forgive you. We are mates after all. We can't be separated.”

You give him a look, “does this mean?…” you trail off. He chuckles, “I'm yours, and you are mine. At last.” You smile brightly, “I like the sound of that. You're mine, and I'm yours.”

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Note: requested by an anon! thank you so much for your patience, I hope it's worth the wait. also shout out to @neonhairspray for letting me use her name in this fic ;)

extra note: the taglist seems to not work properly lately, I am aware of this, as it is happening to me as well. I am also not getting many notifications, not just tags, but also for reblogs and comments. I am very sorry if it seems like I am ignoring you, trust me, I am not!

Warnings: 18+! angst, brief smut, little bit of fluff. mention of pregnancy.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: A regular hook up with Sihtric didn't go as usual.

wordcount: 3,5k

Masterlist

'Tell me what the fuck I did to you to deserve this!'

'Thanks, sweetheart,' Sihtric smiled and kissed your forehead, 'that was really nice, as always,' he chuckled, 'I'll call you, okay?'

'Yeah,' you smiled, still shaking on your legs as you walked him to your front door, 'thank you too,' you said, 'see you around.'

'See you,' Sihtric winked and got in his car.

You closed the door and went back upstairs to shower, after which you'd get some sleep, as it was late at night already. 

And that's just how it always went. Sihtric texted you, or you texted him, you'd meet up at either his place or yours, you'd fuck each other senseless for however long needed, and then you'd both go your own way again. Most people would call what you had with Sihtric "friends with benefits", but it wasn't that. You had only met him because of a mutual friend, during a night out, after which you had landed in his bed.

And after that night you simply kept hooking up, but there was no friendship. In fact, you actually knew nothing about Sihtric, except for where he lives, and that he's hot, as well as a beast in bed. You knew his kinks and the way he likes his dirty talk, but you had no idea what kind of job he had, if he even had one, you didn't know what his personality really was like or if he was sleeping with other people, besides you. You didn't know and you also didn't care. Sihtric, with his short, dark hair with the shaved sides and his insanely muscular body, was just a good fuck. And that's all you both seemed to care about.

You only contacted each other to hook up, and it was only a few days later that Sihtric called you again.

'Fuck,' Sihtric moaned, 'yeah, just like that baby girl,' he breathed and threw his head back in your pillow, 'oh, don't stop you dirty girl,' he laughed as he looked up into your eyes.

You grinned while looking down at him, riding him exactly the way you knew would make him lose his mind. His big, warm hands held your hips, while you rested your hands on his broad chest to support yourself. If you'd been looking for a serious relationship, you'd almost believe Sihtric was made for you, and he thought the same, but he would never say it.

Because there was no relationship, and neither of you ever showed a sign that there would ever be anything of a relationship between the two of you.

'Yeah, you like that, don't you?' you teased, feeling his hands take on a bruising grip on your hips.

'Yeah,' Sihtric smiled as he bit down on his lip, then bucked his hips into you while you were on top, 'yeah, I really fucking like that,' he moaned.

'Fuck me like a good boy,' you breathed, to which Sihtric growled desperately and took you harder, and faster.

Then, with a deep and heavy moan Sihtric spilled inside you, as he fucked you through your own orgasm. And it was only moments later, when he pulled out, that you both found out the condom had been ripped at some point.

'Oh,' you said, with big eyes, 'it… it should be fine.'

'You're on birth control too, right?' Sihtric asked after a few minutes, slightly worried while he put on his shoes.

'Yeah,' you sort of lied.

Well, you didn't really lie, you were on birth control, but you had been a little sloppy with taking the pill lately, knowing you didn't have unprotected sex with him anyway.

'Okay,' Sihtric said and sighed with relief, 'good. I like kids, but I'm absolutely not ready to be a dad yet,' he chuckled, 'dodged a bullet there, huh, sweetheart?'

'Don't worry,' you laughed.

What are the odds, you thought. Sihtric put his shirt back on, raked his tattooed fingers through his short hair and leaned in to kiss your cheek.

'I better get going, no need to walk me to the door,' Sihtric said softly, knowing your legs had gotten quite the workout moments ago, 'thank you for tonight, I really needed it,' he smiled and pecked your cheek again, 'you're always so good to me, baby girl. You know exactly how I like it, you're truly a blessing,' he whispered and gave you a quick wink, 'I'll call you, okay, baby?'

'Yeah, okay,' you smiled and felt yourself blush.

Despite not being close, apart from sex, Sihtric definitely had a cheek-reddening effect on you with his impressive appearance, flirtatious behaviour and his smooth voice.

'See you around,' you said with a grin.

'Definitely, pretty lady,' Sihtric winked again and gave you a sly smile, before he walked out of your bedroom and let himself out of your home.

In his car, on the drive back to his own place, he cursed himself for being too afraid to tell you he actually wants more with you. He wanted to take you out on a proper date, really getting to know you outside of the bedroom. He had been meaning to ask you out for weeks already, but he was terrified to be rejected by you, after months and months of just having sex.

Meanwhile, you downplayed your own feelings for Sihtric when he had left, took a shower again and went to bed. 

And as your upcoming few weeks were kinda busy, you had to disappoint Sihtric a few times by answering his call and telling him you weren't in town.

'I promise I'll call you when I'm back home again,' you said on the phone.

'Promise?' Sihtric asked, you could even hear his soft smile by the way he spoke, 'don't keep me waiting much longer, baby girl,' he said with a cheeky tone, 'been thinking of that cute butt of yours a lot lately.'

'Behave!' you laughed, 'and I promise. But, hey, gotta run now, Sihtric, work's calling. I'll see you soon.'

'You better,' Sihtric said before you both ended the call and went about your day.

If only you knew how much Sihtric was longing to see you again, after finally having gathered the courage to ask you out next time he'd see you. 

And if only Sihtric knew that you would never call him again.

5 years later.

Two weeks after that last booty call you found out you were pregnant and, remembering Sihtric told you he was not ready to be a father, you panicked. You considered your options. You didn't have the heart to get an abortion, but you were also terrified to face Sihtric again, in fear of you and your child being rejected by him. In your full state of panic you blocked Sihtric's number. And when he showed up at your door a few weeks later, only because he was seriously worried about the woman he had fallen in love with who seemed to have vanished, you had kept yourself hidden in your kitchen until you heard him slam his car door shut and drive off. 

Then, you did the worst thing you could possibly do; you moved away, about two towns over, without ever telling Sihtric. And next spring you gave birth to his child, without his knowledge. 

Being a single mother was hard, and multiple times you thought about reaching out to Sihtric, but years had passed already and you knew he would probably not take this news well. You eventually got a job at a cute little coffee shop while your, now 4 year old, son stayed with an aunt of yours during the day. She'd bring your son, Ragnar, to the coffee shop every day just before your shift was over, so you could take him home.

And today was just like any other day. You only had twenty minutes left of your shift when you were asked to bring an order 'that hot guy with the sunglasses who's seated at the window,' as your colleague and best friend, Sandra, described the customer.

You did what you were asked and placed the large cup of coffee on the table of the hot guy, who was wearing a black beanie and had his eyes hidden behind his black sunglasses. He was very well built, his broad shoulders clearly visible underneath the black denim jacket he was wearing, under which he wore a dark hoodie. You saw he had a good, well kept goatee, and from the slight glimpse you got of him you had to admit; Sandra was right. He was kinda hot from what you could see.

'Enjoy your coffee,' you smiled and turned to walk away.

You didn't know that the hot guy had been staring at you from behind his shades for minutes already, ever since you caught his eye.

'Do I know you, lady?' he suddenly asked.

You froze, your back still turned to him. You had almost dropped the empty cup you held when you heard the sound of his voice. The smooth, soft, low voice you could never forget, because you had heard it so close to your ear uncountable times. But it surely couldn't be him…

You cleared your throat and gave the man a quick smile as you faced him.

'I doubt it,' you said politely and turned on your heels again.

'Baby girl?' the man said and jumped up, his chair making an awfully loud noise as it scraped over the floor with force.

You froze again, feeling your knees starting to shake underneath you and you turned to face him again, staring at him with wide eyes.

'S… Sihtric?' you barely whispered.

'So it is you,' Sihtric smiled softly and took off his sunglasses, revealing the scar on his cheekbone you recognised right away.

He took one big step and towered over you, gazing down into your eyes. He took your chin in his hand and kissed your cheek, like he used to when he'd meet up with you, years ago.

'How… how have you been?' Sihtric asked, quietly, but you could clearly hear a faint tremble in his voice while his mismatched eyes darted all over your face, 'you- you just disappeared,' he said, 'w-why?Why did you never call again or... or-''

'Sihtric,' you breathed, your cheeks heated up and your hands trembled, 'I… I'm sorry, but I'm at work… I can't talk right now-'

'Mommy!' Ragnar ran in and your aunt followed behind him.

You looked startled, then quickly used your son distracting Sihtric as your way to get out of the situation.

'Mommy?' Sihtric mumbled and he furrowed his brow as he looked at the child running towards you, 'hey, no, wait!' Sihtric said and grabbed your arm as you tried to sneak away, 'you have a son?' he asked, his eyes were suddenly huge and vulnurable, 'did… did you leave because you met someone? Why- why didn't you tell me?'

'Sihtric, please,' you said, 'it's… I have to go.'

You tried to pull out of his grip but, instead of letting go, Sihtric only held onto your firmer.

'No, please,' he begged, not wanting to lose you again, 'I need to know-'

'Sihtric, let go of me, please,' you hissed, trying to be quiet, but at this point everyone in the coffee shop was already staring at the two of you.

'Baby girl, please,' Sihtric pleaded, 'what… I need to know what happened between us.'

'It's…' you stammered, desperately wanting to tell him the truth, but you couldn't, 'I have to go,' you said, panicked, and you broke out of his grip.

'No, wait!' Sihtric raised his voice, but it was already too late.

Your shift was over and you had already thrown your apron on the counter, you pushed past your aunt and made haste to walk out of the coffee shop, with your son. With Sihtric's son. And tears crept up as you picked up Ragnar to cross the street, leaving Sihtric behind once again without any explanation, something you hoped you would never have to do again, as it had caused you to live with a broken heart ever since. 

And once again, it had all been your own doing, because you couldn't face him.

Later that evening, Sandra texted you after having witnessed the strange encounter at work.

Sandra: are you okay? What happened at work?

Sandra: did you know that guy? Did he bother you? He asked for your number after you had left, but I didn't give it… he seemed really hurt. Confused even, it was kind of scary… after you left he paced back and forth for a while in the shop, talking quietly to himself as he looked really distressed

Sandra: eventually he walked out, I think he was crying? We were really concerned about you

Sandra: the hot guys are always weirdos huh?

You: I'm okay, thank you

You: but yeah… I know him. it's a long story really. And he has my number, actually…

You: promise you won't tell anyone what I'm going to tell you now?

Sandra: of course, you know your secrets are safe with me

And so you finally told someone, for the first time in your life, about the father of your son and what you had done to him.

Your friend was shocked and tried to convince you to meet up with Sihtric, but you just couldn't. Without pressuring you, she urged you to think about Ragnar too, how he deserved to know who his father was. And she reminded you that Sihtric deserved to know he had a son. You knew Sandra was right and agreed to think about it, but now, you just wanted to sleep. Because you hoped to wake up from this nightmare.

Meanwhile, Sihtric was home again too, after he had randomly gone for a drive and happened to end up at the one place you were at. And as he was completely devastated by how you had run from him, again, he went over the events as he laid in bed, with his eyes closed, fighting his tears. He tried to understand your behaviour. He tried to understand why you had left in the first place. He tried to remember what had happened the last time he had seen you, even though it had been so long ago. 

And when he suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, it all clicked.

Your shift the next day went terribly slow. You had barely slept so, naturally, you were exhausted. To make things worse, your friend wasn't working today, so you had no one you could talk to about your current issue.

Hours and hours later, when your shift was over, you took off your apron and grabbed your jacket. You had asked your aunt if Ragnar could stay for dinner with her, as you needed a moment to yourself after work. But then, when you walked out of the coffee shop, you realised you would not have a quiet evening.

'Sihtric?' you gasped and froze when you saw him, waiting for you outside the shop, 'what- why are you here-'

'Please,' Sihtric said, as calm as he could while he stepped closer, 'please, talk to me.'

You stared up into his questioning eyes, and became overwhelmed with emotions. Part of you wanted to grab his face and kiss him as if it was the last thing you'd ever do, part of you wanted to tell him the truth about his son, and another part of you wanted to run away and hide. And you tried the latter. You almost sprinted away from Sihtric, around the corner, hoping you could run home. But Sihtric was fast, and even stronger than you remembered, so without any struggle he grabbed your arm and pulled you into a darkened alley, where he slammed you against the wall.

'Talk to me!' Sihtric growled.

A tone you had never heard from him before, and you didn't know if you were terrified or aroused right now. Probably a sick mixture of both, you thought, as he had trapped you between his body and the cold wall that pressed against your back.

'Who's child was that boy?' he asked, angered and confused, 'the one I saw yesterday, in the coffee shop, who called you mommy?'

'Please,' you trembled, 'don't make me do this,' you whispered.

'Who is the father of that child?!' 

'You are!' you shouted, and Sihtric stumbled a small step back when you shoved him, allowing his back to collide with the wall, finding support so he wouldn't fall down to his knees.

You stared at each other, with both hurt and anger in your eyes.

'You are his father, Sihtric,' you said with a sudden sob, and started to cry, 'you are.'

You explained to him, as best as you could through your tears, what had happened since the last time you had slept together. How you got pregnant, how you remembered Sihtric said he didn't want to be a father yet, and how you had panicked and just ran.

'And I know it will never justify that I hid this from you,' you sniffled, 'but I was terrified. I was so afraid to be rejected by you that I just ran, to protect myself and my… o-our child.'

'What's his name?'

'R-Ragnar,' you whispered.

Sihtric was quiet, until his tears started to roll down his cheeks and he moved his hands over his half shaved head, gripping at his dark curls, and then he let out a pained grunt as he punched his fists into the brick wall behind him.

'How could you do this to me?!' he shouted, 'how could you fucking do this!'

You knew you were the one who had made all the mistakes here, and you never wanted to argue with Sihtric in the first place, so you weren't going to try and defend yourself. You kept quiet as he let out his feelings, it was the least you could do.

'My child!' Sihtric shouted, his voice hoarse, 'you kept my child from me? For almost five fucking years!'

He huffed and let out a loud sob as he exhaled. His breath was shaky, as were his hands and his voice when he continued.

'What did I do to you?' he asked.

'Nothing,' you whispered, 'you did nothing-'

'Tell me!' Sihtric snarled, 'tell me what the fuck I did to you to deserve this! When did I hurt you?! When did I ever not treat you with respect?! When did I make you feel like you had the right to run away while you carried my child? My child?!' he shouted in your face.

'I… I have no answers,' you whispered as you wept silently, 'I have no excuse. Sihtric, you never did anything wrong. I'm… I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did this.'

'No, you're not,' Sihtric scoffed and wiped his tears, 'you're not sorry,' he looked at you with disgust, 'I… I don't even care if you were.'

And with those words, Sihtric left, and you fell down to your knees in the alley, crying, as you once again lost the love of your life.

When you arrived at work the next day, a complete mess, Sandra ran up to you.

'Girl!' she said as she grabbed your arms, 'that hot dad left you a note,' she pushed the piece of paper in your hand, 'he left seconds ago, you better go after him and fix this!'

Before you had time to read the note, Sandra shoved you outside of the coffee shop, pushing you in the direction Sihtric had just walked in when he left. As your feet started to carry you around the corner, your trembling hands opened the folded piece of paper.

Sweetheart,

I am sorry for the way I snapped yesterday. It was just a lot to take in, I'm sorry. I wish I had handled it differently, and I am sorry you always felt you could never contact me to tell me the truth. I hoped I'd find you at work today, but you weren't there, so I wrote this quick note. If you ever change your mind about us, about me, know that I would love to meet Ragnar. Know that I am ready to be a father. And know that I never had the guts to tell you how I felt when we were still seeing each other, years ago. But know that my feelings have never changed for you ever since. I never told you, but I was falling in love…

I am in love with you.

I'm sorry.

x    Sihtric

You pushed the note in your pocket as you ran through the street, until you ended up at a T-intersection. You looked left, but no sign of Sihtric there. Then you looked to the right, and when you suddenly saw his undeniable figure walk towards a parking lot, you ran as fast as you could.

'Sihtric!' you shouted, out of breath as you ran across the street, 'Sihtric! Wait! Please!'

Sihtric turned, and the sadness in his eyes seemed to make place for slight hope as he saw you running towards him.

'Sihtric, I love you,' you cried as you fell in his arms and crashed your lips onto his.

It took him a while to understand what was happening, but soon enough, he grabbed your face and kissed you back as if his life was depending on it. And you both didn't break the kiss until your lungs forced you to.

'I- I love you,' you sobbed, 'I know we barely know each other, but have always loved you somehow, and I need you in my life. Ragnar needs you in his life too. We need you in our life. I'm sorry, for everything.''

'I have always loved you too,' Sihtric sniffled, 'and, gods, the only thing I want is to be with you, baby girl,' he whispered and kissed you again, 'and with our… our son,' he smiled, 'there is nothing I want more than to have a family, with you. But first,' he cupped your cheeks, 'I really want to buy you a drink, if you have time right now.'

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylasthegrim @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @bel-bottoms @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @diosademuerte @elle4404 @alexagirlie @sweetxime @solango @gemini-mama @cheyennep3107 @little-diable @jennifer0305 @drwstarkeyy @mrsarnasdelicious @verenahx @urmomsgirlfriend1

[bookworm551]

Of Duty and Desire | Chapter 5 | Neteyam x Metkayina!reader

A/N: sorry this took so long!!!! I wish I had a good excuse but really it was just writers block. Anyways, I appreciate your patience, I love you all <33

Word Count: 6.8k words

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 6 Epilogue

When you woke up the next day, you had a few blissful seconds where everything felt normal. You stretched as the light reflected on your face, and you enjoyed the sounds of the village waking up for a moment. Then, the memories of the previous night hit you all at once, and all the guilt came rushing back.

Memories replayed in your head over and over again. His hungry lips trailing down your neck, your eager hands pulling him close, the sound of your heavy breathing echoing around you. It was like a dream that never should have come to life.

You ran your hands over your face. This was not good. You thought you could still be friends, that you could maintain some form of friendship with him, but last night was clear evidence that it wasn't possible. Being alone with him, seeing him with the blue-green cast of colors on his face, and hearing him say how much he wanted to be with you had all been too much for you to think and act rationally.

Now, you had to get up and go about your day pretending as if nothing had happened. And that's exactly what you did.

You threw yourself into your chores, doing everything in your power to distract yourself from the night before. You even asked Ronal for more work when you finished your chores in record time. It was terrible for you to look her in the eye knowing that if she found out about last night, she would unleash a flood of fury on you.

Everything was going relatively smoothly up until late in the afternoon when Aonung found you on the beach mid-errand. "I've been looking for you," he stated as he came up behind you. You looked up at him in alarm, your heart speeding up anxiously. "Oh?" you managed to reply quietly, trying to appear unfazed by his presence.

"I am about to leave with Rotxo and the others," he explained. "There is still time for you to join if you'd like." The anxious tension in your chest subsided somewhat at his question. You had forgotten that he and the others were planning on going hunting, even though they had talked about it just last night. You also remembered that Neteyam had also been invited to go as well.

Forcing a smile, you replied, "Thank you, but I think I will stay inside the sea wall today." Aonung shrugged casually. "Very well," he said. "We'll be back by eclipse." You nodded and watched him walk off, taking a breath to steady your heart.

You needed to figure out some way to reconcile what had happened between you and Neteyam, but you didn't know what to do. You knew how upset Aonung would be if you confessed what you had done with Neteyam and how you felt about him. You knew how upset Ronal would be if she knew that you were in love with someone other than her son. To stay silent would mean you would be eaten up by guilt, but to speak would surely mean severe consequences.

You wouldn't mind facing the repercussions of your actions. In fact, you felt that you should, but you hesitated out of fear of what would happen to Neteyam. If you were to be in trouble, you still had some level of protection through Ronal's connection with your mother, but with Neteyam, there was no doubt that your mentor would be angry enough with him to try something as drastic as excommunication. You would never be able to forgive yourself if he had to face punishment like that.

Shaking yourself from your thoughts, you headed back to the village. You returned to distracting yourself through work, braiding, weaving, and organizing anything you could find. You hadn't even realized the hours that had flown by until you stepped outside to go diving for sea grass.

You had initially planned on swimming out to the edge of the sea wall on your own, but now, you considered taking an ilu. Glancing at the sky, you figured you had less than an hour before eclipse. After deliberating for a moment, you decided that it was enough time for you to gather what you needed without one. As much as you enjoyed riding, swimming on your own was more relaxing.

Swimming out to the edge of the sea wall, you became distracted from your thoughts by the graceful creatures darting around you. Nothing cleared your mind from plaguing thoughts better than floating in the warm water while the glowing dots and stripes of the sea animals swirling around you.

You swam down to the sea floor where the sea grass swayed lazily with the movement of the water. You began pulling up the grass from its roots, tying each bundle tightly before placing it in your pouch. While you were gathering, you were blissfully unaware of a creature nestled in the grass around you.

Reaching for another handful of grass, you touched the fin of what you quickly learned was a viper ray. Defensive and vicious, viper rays typically avoided the reef and rarely came in past the sea wall. Though they were beautiful to watch, being so close to one was dangerous. Their venomous sting had been known to kill Na'vi in the past, and even if it wasn't fatal, it was definitely a very painful experience.

Your touch startled the hiding creature. Faster than you could process, the viper ray whipped around and slashed its thick tail at you, swiping across your ribs.

You immediately flinched and released much of the air you were holding. The pain was immediate, a deep burning sensation that outweighed any sort of injury you had ever experienced. The viper ray darted away back into the grass, leaving you clutching your side as you felt you air supply depleting. Desperately, you began kicking towards the surface as quickly as you could.

When you broke above the water, you gasped in pain. You instinctively clutched at your side, the sting burning like a fire across your body. You looked back at the village, a decently long swim even without being injured. You cursed at yourself for not bringing an ilu. Now, you had no idea how you would get back on your own.

Still, you began kicking towards the beach, your breathing too fast and frantic to dive back down again. From the corner of your eye, you saw movement. Turning your head, you made out several figures in the distance on skimwings leisurely heading back to the village. Blinking through the pain, you recognized the people passing by as the group of your friends who had gone hunting earlier. They must have just returned.

In the dying light, you could make out Neteyam and Aonung side-by-side on their skimwings. Pain was coursing through your side as your breathing came in shallow breaths. You finally managed to inhale enough to call out as loudly as you could, "Neteyam!"

He must have heard your voice because his head immediately whipped around to find you. After a moment, he spotted your bobbing form in the water and swiftly moved to where you were floating.

What took less than a minute for him to cross over to you felt like an eternity with the viper ray venom coursing through you. You were grimacing in pain, the salt water causing your sting to burn even worse. Already, you were feeling the fatigue that came with viper ray stings.

"What's wrong?" Neteyam asked in concern, noticing your face contorted in pain. Right behind him, Aonung came up to you on his skimwing. "I've been stung," you managed to gasp as you struggled to stay above the water. "Viper ray."

Neteyam's face shifted from concern to panicked realization. He had heard the stories of the infamous creature and knew the potentially fatal effects it had. Aonung, too, realized the severity of your injury. "She needs to go to my mother now," he told his friend urgently.

Both boys jumped off of their mounts to take you, and you reached a weak hand out to Neteyam. He took it and pulled you over to his skimwing. You wrapped your arms around his neck, squeezing your eyes shut and resting your head on his chest as he hoisted the two of you onto the back of his skimwing.

Your breathing came in sharp gasps as you took off towards the village. In your mind, your thoughts were growing hazy, and it became difficult for you to understand the reassuring words Neteyam was whispering in your ear. Everything was blurring, and the only thing that somewhat distracted you from the pain in your side was the comfort of Neteyam's arms holding you tightly.

You didn't realize it at the time, but the rest of the hunting party that Neteyam and Aonung were with had noticed the two of them speeding off toward the village and quickly followed suit. When you reached the beach, they all pooled around you to figure out what was happening.

"Find Ronal," Neteyam told the group of them as he carefully slid you off of his skimwing. They all hesitated for a moment, recognizing you curled up in pain in his arms.

"What happened to—,"

"Now," Neteyam snapped, his composure cracking over the panicked desperation he was fighting. The group of hunters scattered across the village, but Aonung remained behind in the water with the two of you.

"Let me take her," he told Neteyam, reaching for your form resting in his arms, but he didn't let you go. "I've got her," he said sharply, wading through the water quickly. Aonung was taken aback somewhat, but he didn't press it since he didn't want to waste precious time arguing.

It wasn't long before Ronal came rushing out to meet you all on the beach. She took a moment to assess you, feeling how your skin was growing unusually warm. "Come quickly," she told Neteyam urgently as she moved back to her pod.

Neteyam stepped after her towards the village. You were groaning in pain, your vision coming in and out of focus. You were still aware of the fact that you were in his arms, but your thoughts were becoming increasingly disorganized. You had felt his strong arms around you before, but when? You had been upset about him earlier, but why?

You tried to focus, but the pain radiating from your ribs made it impossible for you to think clearly. Still, in your cloudy mind, you had a lingering memory of something scandalous.

"What are you doing here?" You mumbled quietly to Neteyam, your speech slurring a little bit. He looked down at you for a second before replying, "You are hurt, and you need help." You groaned again as if to prove his point and turned your face into his chest. "It's okay," he soothed in a low voice, "I will take care of you."

When you had made it to Ronal's tent, Neteyam set you down carefully on the mat. He stayed by your side while Aonung crouched on your other side. Ronal quickly set to work, pouring water over your sting and wiping away the bleeding. You hissed in pain as she inspected the gash in your side.

Grabbing Neteyam's arm tightly, you cried out through clenched teeth, "It burns." He ran a soothing hand over your forehead. "I know it does," he replied, trying to keep his voice calm for you and failing miserably. "You'll be okay." Your breathing was labored as you looked up at his with glassy eyes. "Every day, it burns," you murmured. "How can I stop it, Neteyam?"

Neteyam's heart ached. You weren't just talking about your sting. Your words were echoing what you had said the previous night. It had been weighing on Neteyam the whole day. He had been unable to shake your words from his mind, and he replayed the memory of kissing you over and over again. He would never forget the blissful moment you shared, but he could never forget the look of horror and heartbreak on your face when you had realized what you had done. It burned, indeed.

"What is she saying?" Aonung asked sharply, staring at Neteyam's longing face with suspicion. He looked up at him, pulled from his thoughts, and said dismissively, "She's hallucinating."

"I don't want to stop it," you whispered in a breathy voice. "I wish it could be real." Neteyam tensed at your words and prayed that you would stop talking in front of Ronal and Aonung. Ronal didn't seem to heed your babbling as she worked, but Aonung was looking back and forth between your face and Neteyam's.

"What is she saying?" Aonung repeated in a hard voice. Neteyam's voice felt stuck, and his silence was only made worse when you reached out your hand up from Neteyam's arm to trace his cheek gently with your fingers. He brought his hand up to hold yours and closed his eyes in guilt. There was no way he could justify this.

Ronal's working hands stilled as she witnessed him grabbing your hand, her eyes flashing to Neteyam and then to her son. Neteyam kept his eyes on your face, but he could feel Aonung's burning glare.

He was putting the pieces together. He had known for a while that you were good friends with Neteyam ever since he first came to the reef, but Aonung had never felt any reason to suspect anything else. Recently, though, he had noticed a shift in his friend’s behavior. He had inexplicably started avoiding your friend group, and it didn’t escape his notice the way that Neteyam had been much more reserved recently.

All this, Aonung would have ignored, but now, he reconsidered everything. He had noted how you had called for Neteyam in the water. He saw how you had reached out for him and how you wrapped your arms around him tightly. He noticed the defensive way that Neteyam held onto you, refusing to let go. Now, hearing your mutterings and seeing you reach out for Neteyam, Aonung felt anger bubble in his chest.

"What did you do?" He seethed. Neteyam looked up at him and held up his free hand. "Aonung, please, I can expl—" Aonung shot up quickly and repeated in a harsh voice, "What did you do?!"

The tension was palpable in the silence. "Take this outside," Ronal ordered sharply, and Neteyam could feel the tsahik's anger in her voice. He got up slowly, dropping your hand. You whimpered as he pulled away from you. "No," you pleaded softly. "Stay." Neteyam could see that your words made Aonung even angrier, so he got up and darted out of the tent, closely followed by the other boy.

Outside, the young Metkayina warrior shoved Neteyam's shoulder. "What was that?" Aonung demanded, his chest heaving in anger. Neteyam held up his hands as a pacifying gesture. "Please, let's just—"

"Did you mate with her?" Aonung cut him off furiously. His forwardness caught Neteyam a little off-guard, and his denial seemed to be stuck in his throat. Just then, Kiri, Tsireya, and Lo'ak came around after hearing that you were injured, and Neteyam groaned internally. Having an audience would make this so much worse.

"Did you?" Aonung pressed, ignoring the others. Turning his focus away from his siblings, Neteyam replied, "No, I would never dishonor you like that." Tsireya looked questioningly between him and her brother. "What is going on?" She asked in confusion.

Aonung ignored his sister. "But you want to," he accused Neteyam. Already uncomfortable with having his family present, he stepped towards Aonung. "Let's talk about this alone," he said in a low voice. The other young warrior shoved him back. "Why?" He demanded. "Because it's true? You want her?"

Kiri took in a sharp breath, and Neteyam heard his brother curse loudly. Neteyam felt trapped. "My friend, please," he implored quietly. Aonung scoffed. "You are no friend of mine," he spat in a loud voice. "How long have you been sneaking around behind my back?"

As if things couldn't get any worse, Jake, Neytiri, and Tonowari came up behind their children, alarmed by the shouting. "What is the meaning of this?" The Olo'eyktan demanded to know. Pointing an accusatory finger at Neteyam, Aonung replied, "He has fallen in love with the woman intended for me."

There was a short, stunned silence, and Neteyam saw the look of disappointed frustration on his father's face. "Is this true?" Tonowari inquired severely. Neteyam hesitated for a moment, but he quickly realized he was in too deep to deny anything. "Yes," he admitted quietly.

Everyone present reacted differently. Aonung looked ready to kill Neteyam, Tsireya gasped softly, and Kiri put her face in her hand. Lo'ak looked half-impressed while Neytiri closed her eyes and began muttering under her breath either prayers or profanities. Tonowari and Jake exchanged uneasy glances and shifted uncomfortably.

"Do not blame her," Neteyam continued insistently. "It was my fault. I shouldn't have—," Jake raised his hand, cutting off his son. "Stop talking," he said harshly. Neteyam remained obediently silent while Jake ran a frustrated hand over his face. "Did you two...?"

Neteyam shook his head hastily. "No," he stated. "We are not bonded." A small sigh of relief came from both of his parents before Neytiri stepped forward toward her son. "I never expected this from you," she said in a low, harsh whisper. "You have brought shame upon yourself, upon this family."

Neteyam stood quietly as his mother began her rant. He knew this was coming, and it hurt just as much as he expected it to. Disappointing his parents was the worst feeling for him, and now he was getting the scolding of a lifetime in front of the rest of his family as well as the chief's.

Ronal stepped out of the tent just then, looking extremely displeased, and everybody turned to her expectantly. "She is asleep," the tsahik explained. "Her body will burn away the venom in time." Neteyam breathed a quick sigh of relief, but he was quickly filled with the apprehension of having to face Ronal's fury.

She pointed her glare at him. "Now, what is going on with you?" She asked in a displeased voice. Aonung stepped forward before Neteyam could respond and interjected, "He is in love with her." Ronal turned sharply to face Neteyam, and her scathing glare deepened. "We bring you into our home," she began in a slow, seething voice, "show you our ways, offer protection, and you return it by blatantly disrespecting us, my son, by trying to enamor his intended mate?"

Neteyam shook his head again. "No," he insisted, working hard to maintain a composed voice. "That was never my intention." Ronal look away from him and back at the healing tent. "And what about her?" She asked, gesturing to where you were sleeping. "Does she return your affections?"

Neteyam hesitated, not wanting to bring you into the mess of trouble he was already in. "I cannot speak for her," he said finally. Aonung scoffed at his words. "You heard what she was saying," he told his mother. "Of course she does."

Neteyam didn't say anything—there was no point. Jake stepped up to him, his face hardened in aggravation. "I told you to back off," he reminded harshly in English. "I said not to cause trouble." Neteyam nodded solemnly and muttered, "I know."

Jake huffed an exasperated sigh. "I'll take care of this," he muttered to Tonowari. Neteyam closed his eyes in shame. This was exactly the thing he was trying to avoid in leaving you alone. Now, he was in for a long night of listening to his parents berate him for hours.

Ronal scoffed. "We cannot allow this," she stated in outrage. "Your son has dishonored our son. He cannot go unpunished." Jake held up a reassuring hand. "Believe me, he will be dealt with," he told her earnestly.

"And how do you suppose he is to be punished?" She shot back. "He cannot be allowed anywhere near her again." Neytiri took a heated step towards Ronal. "You cannot exile my son," she asserted angrily. The tsahik glared at her. "Perhaps that would be the best solution," she countered in a haughty voice.

The two sets of parents all began arguing over each other. Neteyam watched in silent guilt. All of this fighting and contempt stemmed from him falling for you. He should have been more careful. He never should have taken you flying. He never should have danced with you. He knew better than that, but he couldn't help himself. He had wanted to thrill you, please you, any way he could, but now, his indiscretion had caused this dispute between his family and Aonung's.

While Neteyam was dwelling on his guilt, Aonung was glaring at him in resentment.

In the time that the Sullys had been in the reef, Aonung had gone from viewing Neteyam as a rival to seeing him as one of his closest friends. He had taught him the ways of the Metkayina. They had hunted together. They killed the akula together. And it was true that Aonung had no romantic feelings toward you, but he still held great respect for you and thought of you as his future tsahik with satisfaction.

Now, everything was changing. It was one thing for you not to feel anything romantically toward him, but it was something else entirely for you to be in love with someone else, especially when that someone else was in love with you. These bitter thoughts swirled in his mind until his voice finally called out above the bickering parents.

"I call for First Blood."

Everyone froze.

The Rite of First Blood was a dangerous and rarely used rite amongst the Na'vi that is only invoked in the most serious of disagreements. When someone called for First Blood with another, they fought in close combat until one of the participants drew blood from their opponent. The victor's conditions were binding and unimpeachable. What made it dangerous was that there were no stipulations other than requiring blood to be drawn, so the victor could go as far as mortally wounding their opponent if they so chose.

"Aonung, are you sure?" Ronal questioned after recovering from her stunned silence. Even she was startled by her son's call for such a serious matter. Aonung held a level glare at Neteyam as he replied firmly, "Yes."

Ronal shot her mate a reluctant look. "Very well," Tonowari conceded after a moment. "What are your conditions?" Everybody stared at Aonung, waiting expectantly to hear what he would demand if he was the victor. "If I win," he began slowly, staring at Neteyam. "You will leave the reef and never come back."

Immediate protestations arose from each of the Sullys except Neteyam, who silently held Aonung's glare with his own level gaze. "Silence!" Tonowari roared, cutting off the forest family sharply. Aonung continued as though he hadn't been cut off, "And I will be with the woman I am betrothed to."

All eyes were on Neteyam for his reaction, but he remained still, face impassive. "I accept," he responded evenly.

"Neteyam," Tonowari addressed. "What are your conditions?" He didn't respond for a second, thinking carefully about what to say, and Aonung scoffed. "We already know," he huffed. "If you win, she is yours."

"No," Neteyam replied resolutely.

Everybody blinked in surprise and exchanged uneasy glances. He took a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing. "She has already had so many decisions made for her," he explained slowly, shooting a look at Ronal's scowling face. "She deserves to have a choice for once in her life."

He looked back over at Tonowari. "That is my condition," he said decidedly. "If I win, she chooses if she wants to be tsakarem. If so, then she will continue her duties without reprimand, but if not, then she can renounce her title honorably, without shame, and without fear of retribution."

Ronal hissed in anger, but Neteyam was waiting for Aonung's reaction expectantly. The young Metkayina warrior nodded slowly and stated, "I accept." Tonowari was not pleased in the slightest about the arrangement, but he nodded gravely. "The Rite of First Blood shall take place at high noon tomorrow," he confirmed before turning to Jake.

"I suggest you keep your son away from here until then," he muttered in a low voice to him, but Neteyam could still hear him. Jake was glaring at his son as he responded, "Believe me, he won't leave my sight." Neteyam's stomach sank at the reality of having to face his parents' wrath for the rest of the night until noon. All he wanted was to see you and make sure you were alright, but there was absolutely no way anybody was going to let that happen now.

The good thing was that you were actually alright. You slept for a few hours before you began to stir again. Strange dreams and voices in your head made your sleep turbulent, so it was a relief to open your eyes again. Through your hazy vision, you could see a person sitting next to you, wiping the sweat off of your forehead.

You tried to say something, but your voice felt stuck, and all that came out was a quiet groan. "It's okay," a soft voice whispered. "You are still fighting off the venom." You blinked several times before your sight focused, and you were able to see who it was.

Tsireya's face was full of concern as she gazed down at you sadly. You mumbled her name, and she ran her hand over your hair comfortingly. "What happened?" you asked, your voice rough as a result of a dry throat.

She didn't respond, instead reaching for a bowl of fresh water for you to drink. She held your head up as you took a few eager gulps of it before laying you back down gently. "What happened?" you repeated, sounding clearer now that you had slaked your thirst.

"What do you remember?" Tsireya asked instead, taking the bowl back from your hand. You thought back, the memory of the viper ray flashing in your mind. "I remember getting stung," you began slowly. "I remember finding Aonung and Neteyam." You paused as the memory of Neteyam's arms carrying you replayed in your head. "That's about it," you finished quietly.

Tsireya studied your face for a moment. "Neteyam brought you back here," she explained nervously. "But you started saying strange things." Your face scrunched in confusion. "What kind of things?" You asked. Tsireya hesitated. "I am not sure," she confessed. "But Aonung—," she hesitated for a moment. "Aonung thinks that you are in love with Neteyam."

You blanched. Your mouth opened and shut, but no words came out. You were entirely unprepared for this accusation and could not think of how to defend yourself.

"It is true, isn't it?" She asked quietly. Your mind was reeling, and you were trying to think of something to say, but there was no way for you to justify what you had done. Your heart started pounding, and you began taking uneasy breaths. "Breathe," she implored, taking your hand comfortingly. Her touch helped ground you, and you tried your best to regain your composure.

"Tsireya," you began, "I— I never meant for anything to happen. I never meant to betray your brother." You could see the sadness and sympathy she had for you on her face. "I do not blame you," she told you gently, but you could see that she was torn. "But Aonung is very angry, as is my mother."

You closed your eyes, feeling the bitter sting of knowing you've disappointed the very people you sought to impress. "What did they have to say?" You questioned, not sure you wanted to hear the answer. Tsireya hesitated a moment before answering.

"Aonung has called for the Rite of First Blood with Neteyam."

Your blood ran cold. You immediately propped yourself upright, but you still felt weak from the venom, and your arms buckled. "What?" You whispered, horrified. Tsireya pressed gently on your shoulders to get you to lie back down before she nodded reluctantly. "It has been set for noon tomorrow," she explained.

You stared up at her face, mortified by what she had said. "What are the conditions?" You managed to whisper finally. She took your hand again, and you braced yourself for whatever she was going to say.

"Aonung's conditions are that Neteyam must leave the reef forever," she stated quietly. Your stomach twisted at her words. You closed your eyes and squeezed her hand. This couldn't be happening. It was just yesterday that you had been wrapped in his arms. You had run away out of guilt, but now the very real possibility of never seeing him again made your chest tighten with fear.

"And Neteyam's?" You whispered, trying your best to remain calm. Tsireya sighed. "If Neteyam is the victor, then you are free to leave your duties as tsakarem if you so choose," she explained.

You blinked. "What?" You questioned, unable to process what she just said. "Neteyam said you should be able to choose whether you want to keep training to be tsahik or not," she repeated. "He also says that you will not face any repercussions for your choice, whatever it may be."

You stared up at Tsireya for a moment, completely stunned. Then, you felt your throat tighten as tears gathered in your eyes. It all hit you so suddenly, you couldn't help but let them fall.

He was fighting for you. And not only to be with you, but to give you the opportunity to decide for yourself what you wanted to do with your life. It was so selfless and considerate. Nobody had ever given you that before.

Tsireya ran her free hand over your forehead again, a look of distress on her face. "I did not know you were so unhappy," she said mournfully. "I wish you would have told me." You shook your head as you took ragged breaths to calm yourself. "I could not," you whispered in a hoarse voice. "Your mother is my mentor, and I am betrothed to your brother. To tell you would mean you would need to keep secrets from both."

She didn't say anything as you took another breath to calm yourself. What you had said made sense, but it didn't make her feel any better knowing that you had been hiding your misery from her.

"I need to speak to him," you said at last, moving to prop yourself up again. Tsireya's eyes widened, and she shook her head vigorously. "No," she replied quickly. "My mother would be furious." You sat upright, the sting on your ribs burning as you moved. She must have seen how you winced because she pushed you back down and said, "You need to stay and rest. You are not fit to move around."

You didn't fight her, but you weren't giving up. "Please, let me see him," you begged. "This is all my fault. I need to talk to him, and I won't be able to tomorrow." She sighed regretfully. "I can't let you do that," she said. "Even if you were well enough, Neteyam's parents will not let him leave their home. Lo'ak said that they are very upset with him as well."

You closed your eyes remorsefully. You hadn't even thought about what his parents would think about a situation like this. You remembered Lo'ak's words to you just a few days prior. If this gets out, Neteyam would be in more trouble than I've ever been in. How had it all gone wrong so quickly?

"The best thing you can do is try to get some rest," Tsireya told you gently. "Especially if you want to be there for the Rite tomorrow." With your eyes still closed, you let out a defeated sigh and nodded. You weren't going to win this argument with her, and since you were already in a heap of trouble as it was, you decided not to press the issue.

Still, sleep was the last thing on your mind. A torrent of thoughts whirled in your head. There were no way you could rest when the possibility of losing Neteyam was looming over you. If he lost, then not only would he have to leave, but you knew that the rest of his family would go with him. After all that they went through to acclimate to the reef, they would be forced to pack up their lives again.

With your thoughts, you were resolved to see Neteyam, consequences be damned. Tsireya had left after about an hour, and it was late enough that most people would be preparing to go to sleep right now.

You sat up slowly, trying not to irritate the sting in your ribs. Standing up, you felt a little dizzy, but it passed after a couple of seconds. Carefully, you stepped out of the tent. You checked that there was no one around before moving quietly down to the beach. You waded into waist deep water before softly calling out to an ilu.

You felt too weak to swim out on your own, so you decided that having an ilu to help was in your best interest. It would also allow you to keep your sting clean and dry. When one of the ilus answered your call, you attached your queue and slowly made your way to the Sullys.

As you came around to where the Sullys lived, you were relieved by the sight before you. Neteyam was sitting at the edge of his home out above the water, an arm resting on his knee while his other leg dangled over the water. He was staring up at the night sky. You had often seen him there, gazing up at the bright stars littering the sky, and you had hoped that he would be out there tonight as well.

With his gaze turned upwards, he didn't see you approaching slowly in the water. You glanced around to ensure nobody was nearby to see or hear you. You noticed that his pod was dark and quiet, indicating that everyone had gone to sleep, so you called his name out softly.

He must have heard you because his head snapped down and fixated on your form in the water. When he recognized you, he immediately turned to look behind him and check that none of his family had heard too. "What are you doing?" He whispered in alarm. "Why are you not resting?"

"I wanted to see you," you whispered back. "Can you come down?" He glanced back over his should for a moment before turning back to face you. "The beach," he said softly.

It was all he needed to say in order for you to understand. You nodded before turning your ilu in the water and swimming back toward the beach. As you stepped out onto the wet sand, he was walking stealthily across the suspended walkways toward you. Leaping down onto the sand, he quickly crossed over to you with a concerned face.

"What are you doing here?" He asked quietly, bringing his hands up to hold your shoulders carefully. "You should be resting, healing." You shook your head as you looked up at him. "I could not rest after what Tsireya told me," you replied quickly.

Raising your own hands, you held his arms by the crook of his elbow. "Is it true? Has Aonung challenged you to First Blood?" You questioned, already knowing in your heart it was true. He let out a small sigh, looking down at you in regret.

"It is," he confirmed in a whisper. "We fight at noon." You closed your eyes and took a deep breath to calm yourself. "And the conditions?" You continued. "Tsireya said that if Aonung wins, you...," you trailed off, unable to speak anymore.

"I must leave the reef," he finished for you solemnly. You clenched your jaw in an effort to keep from tearing up. "But if I am the victor," he continued softly, "you will be free to choose the life you want. Whether you remain as the tsakarem or not, the choice will be yours with no consequences."

Your throat tightened at his words, and tears filled your eyes. Nobody had ever advocated for you to have a say in your own life. Ever since you could remember, things had always been arranged for you, and you had been too young to know what you actually wanted. Now, you had something that you wanted, and Neteyam was going to fight with everything in him for you to have it.

You shook your head sadly, looking down from his face. "You shouldn't have to do this," you sighed, squeezing his arms in concern. There was a small pause between you before his hands moved up from your shoulders to hold your face, making you look right up at him. His face softened, and his eyes moved back and forth between yours as he shook his head slowly.

"I would do anything for you."

Your breath faltered at his words, and you leaned into his touch with closed eyes. “I was so worried for you,” he continued softly. “I know what you said last night, but when I saw you in the water, I—,” he paused, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he said finally, “but I can’t bear being away from you anymore. When I saw an opportunity to be with you, I couldn’t turn it aside.” The corner of his mouth turned upward before he added softly, “If you will have me, that is.”

His voice was so gentle and sincere, and he looked almost nervous waiting for your reply. You couldn't think of anything to say that fully encapsulated how you felt, so you stepped forward and pressed your lips against his.

Neteyam still held your face as he kissed you gently. You leaned into him, savoring the feeling of his soft lips against yours. He pulled away after what felt like too short a time, a faint smile on his face.

"I will have you," you whispered to him, the corners of your mouth tugging upward. You looked up at him, his face inches from yours. "But you better win.” His own smile widened in amusement. "I will," he promised, lowering his forehead to rest against yours. "I'm not going to stay away from you anymore."

You closed your eyes and relished the moment of peace between you. For a second, you were able to forget about the guilt and worry you were feeling about everything and imagined the life you could have with Neteyam, the life you wanted so bad, it hurt.

He pulled you back into another soft kiss. His hands left your face to wrap around your torso and wander up your back, exploring as much of your skin as possible. His touch left you breathless, and you eagerly pulled him as close to you as possible.

You could feel how much he wanted you, but he eventually pulled away from your lips, his eyes closed as he moved away. "I need to go," he whispered quietly, his forehead resting against yours. "My parents will know I've gone."

The reality of the situation returned, and you felt all the fear and anxiety of everything stirring in your chest. You sighed regretfully, not wanting to let him go. Neteyam must have sensed your apprehensions because his hands pulled you into a tight embrace, and he whispered in your ear, "It will be alright."

You buried your face in his neck and repeated the words in your mind, but it was difficult to believe when so much was on the line. It was cruel that this was only the first time you had let yourself hold him like this, and if Aonung won the next day, this may very well be the last time, too.

Gently, he pulled away from you. You let your arms slide off his shoulders, unable to meet his eyes. There was a moment of silence between you, neither of you wanting to leave the other. Finally, he sighed, raised a hand up to your head, and brought his lips against your forehead. You closed your eyes and tried to hold onto the moment while it lasted.

"It will be alright," he murmured against your skin. You nodded faintly. "It will be alright," you echoed. You looked up at him, and he had a small smile on his face. "I will see you tomorrow," he said at last as he began stepping backward toward his home. You could only nod as he moved away. Watching him go, you wrapped your arms around yourself and repeated his words over and over again in your mind.

It will be alright.

Chapter 6

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Taglist: @mashiromochi @eywas-heir @kafanizdakicokiyi @plzfeedmebread @afro-hispwriter @fanboyluvr @anm3mi @sadexact @peachinsomnia @fluroescentxadolescent @doulcha @crazy4books1 @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @thatonegirlwiththebeanie367 @alicetweven @sarasapen @sadexact

[daisynik7]

Rush

Chapter 10: Too Late

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

cw: angst, mild violence at the very end of the chapter

Summary: You end it for good. Eren realizes something a little too late.  

Notes: Only one more regular chapter left! Can’t believe it’s almost over 😭. Song is “i don’t wanna fall in love, it’s too late now” by Chase Shakur.

Important Announcement: I will be taking a short break this weekend! I have a wedding to attend and it’s also a long weekend for me, so I will not be posting Chapter 11 until the following week (Sunday, February 26th, 9 PM PST).  Sorry for the wait and thank you in advanced for your patience! 

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I’m ending this. It’s over. You and me. We’re done.

Eren stares at her, dumbfounded, brain short circuiting trying to comprehend what she said.  

“What?” he sputters, sitting up on the bed, still naked, gleaming with sweat and slick from their love making just twenty minutes ago. 

“This is the last time. I’m done.”

He jumps off, adrenaline rushing through his body as he quickly slides into his briefs. “I don’t understand. Why? What did I do?” 

She drops her heels and purse onto the floor, crossing her arms. “Wow. It must be so nice living with this level of ignorance. Or maybe it’s selfishness, I don’t know anymore. But if you want me to spell it out for you, I can.”

He swallows hard, caught off guard by her flippant demeanor. “Is this because I didn’t take you to formal? I didn’t even dance with her – ”

“It’s not about formal, Eren!” she snaps. “It’s everything! The sneaking around, the manipulating, the disrespect. I can’t take it anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“You make me feel ashamed of myself. Make me feel worthless. You didn’t even want to be friends, you had to pretend that I didn’t fucking exist. All you want me for is sex, that’s the only way you acknowledge me. I’m not a fucking sex toy. I’m a human fucking being.”

He’s never seen her so angry. There’s a lump in his throat, making it difficult for him to speak. In a quiet voice, he explains,  “I didn’t mean for you to feel that way. I told you, I’m just not ready for people to know about us yet.” It’s a half-assed excuse, he knows that. He never thought about how she was feeling. Or maybe he was too selfish to think about it. 

“So you’d rather ignore me than have people know we’re together? Do you realize how fucked up that is? Are you that embarrassed of me? Am I only good enough to fuck and that’s it?” Tears well up in her eyes. She wipes them away before they fall down her cheek. There’s a tightness in his chest engulfing him watching her cry like this.

“No, I –“ he starts, incapable of articulating what he wants to say into words. Instead, he begs, “Can we please go to bed? I promise, everything will be okay in the morning.”

She takes a few deep breaths, responding, “I’m sick of waiting around for everything to be okay. Waiting for you to get over yourself. It’s a waste of time. It’s not fun anymore. I’m unhappy. When I’m with you, I feel gross and dirty. I don’t feel like myself.”

The realization hits as she bares her all to him. She’s hurt. She’s been hurting. And he’s responsible for it. He’s the cause of the pain and anguish that she’s been forced to endure until it became overwhelming. Until her delicate heart couldn’t take it anymore. It’s all his fault. 

He reaches out to hold her, console her in the only way he knows how. She flinches away from him, disgusted. “Don’t touch me. You don’t get to touch me anymore.”

In his mind, he only remembers the good memories. The ecstasy, the euphoria, the thrill of sneaking around and indulging in his carnal desires. He turned a blind eye to her obvious apprehension when he first suggested they keep it all a secret. Perhaps he wasn’t blind at all; he saw it but chose to disregard it. Convinced himself that he was doing what was best for himself, and not for the both of them. He’s always been aware how selfish he can be; this is a new low that even he didn’t think he’d stoop to.

She bends down to retrieve her belongings from the floor. Without looking at him, she asks, “Do you even like me, Eren?”

The question stuns him. He’s frozen, voice caught in his throat. Every part of his being is yelling at him to confess what he’s been too afraid to say. Has he even admitted it to himself? His overbearing ego won’t let him. He’s too much of a fucking coward. Jaw tight, staring at anywhere except her, he remains silent. Too fucking scared to face the truth. He’s still trying to tell himself that the feelings he has for her are lust, nothing more. So why does it hurt so much knowing she’s ending it?

“That’s what I thought. I get it now. It was all pretend just to fuck me. To use me. Well, congratulations. You got what you wanted. I hope you’re happy.”

Eren stays in place, feet rooted to the carpet, listening to her walk away and undo the double locks on the door. Before turning the handle, he hears her take a staggered breath. The door shuts with a loud thud and she’s gone. 

~~~

You exit the room, taking in a deep breath. It’s over. You did it. 

A few minutes later, you find yourself in front of Room 310, laughter audible through the walls. After several knocks, Hitch opens the door, dressed in her pajamas. In the background, you see Annie, Connie, and Armin, also in their PJs, playing cards on one of the beds.

Hitch looks at you, worried. “What are you doing here?”

Annie rises from the bed and stands behind her, staring at you intently. 

“It’s over. I ended it.”

Both of their eyes widen. Annie pushes you into the hall, Hitch following, shutting the door. 

“Are you okay?” Hitch asks.

“Yeah, I think so. Can I stay in your room for the night? I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

“Of course. Let’s go get your stuff.”

You nod, leading them down the hallway into your room, where Mike is sprawled out on the bed, having the best sleep of his life. After refilling his nearly empty glass of water, you quietly grab your bag and tiptoe back into the hallway. 

Back in Room 310, you change into comfortable clothes and lounge on one of the beds, emotionally exhausted. Armin and Connie don’t question your sudden presence, which is appreciated. The next few hours pass, letting yourself get distracted by card games and idle gossip amongst your friends. At around 2 AM, the boys fall sleep next to each other on one bed while you, Annie, and Hitch snuggle together in the other. Once they’re snoring, Annie nudges you, whispering, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You’re bundled between them, comfortable in their warmth and concern. “Yeah. Actually, I think I’m good.” 

She snorts. “God, I would kill to see what that asshole’s face looked like when you told him.”

“He seemed pretty shocked,” you mention, recalling the way he started sputtering at you. Your body was surging with adrenaline that you didn’t have a chance to process his reactions properly. “He didn’t really say much though. Maybe he’s relieved that it’s over.”

“I don’t think so. I bet he’s more heartbroken about it than you think,” Hitch says, giving your hand a gentle squeeze

“I doubt it.”

“Either way, it’s done. No more sneaking around, no more drama.”

“Yeah,” you smile. “Good riddance.” 

Around 9:00 AM, you wake up and sneak out of the room, sending a short text to Annie letting her know you’re leaving. At the café downstairs, you order a breakfast burrito and coffee to-go. In your room, you find Mike awake, lying on the bed, scrolling through his phone. His face brightens when he sees you walk in, goodies in hand.

“Hey,” he greets, voice hoarse from his hangover.

“Good morning, handsome. Here.” You set the breakfast burrito on the nightstand, where he peers at it, smiling. 

“You remembered,” he grins, eyes twinkling with delight.

“Of course. Also,” you reach into your pocket for a small pack of painkillers. “Some aspirin, in case you’re hurting.”

He chuckles, accepting it. “Thank you. I’m sorry I was such a bad date last night.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I forced you to bring me.” You sit at the edge of the bed, grinning at him.

“Well, regardless, I’m happy I brought you.” He places his hand on top of yours, brushing his thumb gently against your skin suggestively. “Can I make it up to you before we check out?”

“Mike, you are the sweetest. But I need to focus on myself for a while. I think I need to be alone for a bit to figure some stuff out.”

He sighs. “I get it. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters.” 

You gaze at him affectionately, almost wishing you had a time machine to go back and re-do your entire semester with Mike instead of Eren. Mike deserves to be doted on one thousand percent, and even if you could reverse time, you’re not sure if you could give that to him.

“Can I at least get one last kiss?” he asks, that charming smirk on his face. 

Giggling, you lean forward, kissing him. “You definitely need to brush your teeth,” you tease.

“Yep, I just got a whiff myself. I am so sorry. I’ll shower and brush first, then I’ll dive into this delicious burrito.” He gives you a quick peck on the cheek, skipping to the bathroom to start the shower. 

Falling against the bedsheets, you stare at the ceiling, pondering. Did your words leave any effect on Eren? He stood there, gawking at you, a dense look on his face. Was it shock? Or does he really not give a shit?

While it was satisfying to let it out, you can’t help being a little heartbroken. You wanted so badly for it to work, for him to like you back. For it to turn into something real. There were moments together that gave you that rush of falling in love. It was electrifying. Exhilarating. To experience it first-hand, even for a few fleeting moments, makes you not regret it entirely.   

Confirming that it was all a sham is a difficult truth to swallow. It’s your own fault for disregarding the red flags, ignoring Annie’s warnings, pretending everything was fine when it never was. The only other peace you can gather from all of this is learning from your mistakes. You’re determined to never give yourself to someone who isn’t willing to accept all of you. 

When Mike is clean and fresh out of the shower, he devours his breakfast in a few large bites. Once he’s done, the two of you pack your belongings and tidy up, checking out of the room to catch the first bus. Downstairs in the lobby, you spot Annie and Hitch, sipping on their iced coffees next to Armin and Connie. You part ways, leaving him with the other upperclassmen so you can join your friends. 

Hitch offers you the remaining drink on the tray. “Morning,” she smiles. 

You thank her, sipping on your second coffee of the day, listening to them chat with each other. It could be the caffeine rush, or the adrenaline from last night. Either way, you feel rejuvenated and refreshed. A new beginning. A clean slate. 

It doesn’t last long, however. Halfway through your coffee, distracted by your phone, you hear Annie ask in a stern voice, “What do you want now?”

You tilt your head up to investigate, finding Eren standing in front of her.

~~~

Eren wakes up at the end of the bed, legs dangling off the edge. Body slouched against the sheets, feet settled on the carpet flooring. Ready to open the door if she ever returns. She never does. 

He fetches his phone off the floor, which fell from his hand overnight. Scanning his notifications, he sees no responses, no call backs. He reviews the series of text messages he bombarded her with, several minutes after her departure:

Eren: Hey

Eren: Please come back

Eren: Let’s talk

Eren: I don’t want this to end yet

Eren: come back

Eren: I’m sorry

Eren: Please talk to me

It doesn’t seem like the messages have been delivered; she must have blocked him. None of the calls he made went through, sending him straight to the generic voicemail that informs him that the number he has dialed is unavailable. He attempted at least ten calls to her last night, desperate to regain control of a situation that exploded in his face. One that he was severely unprepared to handle.

When the sun rises and a stream of daylight shimmers past the curtains, he gets up, having barely slept. He feels like shit. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Is this how he made her feel whenever they were together? After disappointing her time and time again? 

Moments before she left him, he had a breakthrough. He was willing to commit to her, after being indecisive for so long. He allowed himself to be vulnerable, declaring I’m yours, I’m all yours. But it was too late. The contempt on her face as she exposed him for all his filth is cemented in his mind. The tears falling from her eyes, the disgust in her face when he reached out to her. The guilt eats away at him, knowing he’s the whole reason behind it. 

Groggy and exhausted, he stumbles into the shower, the hot steam not enough to fill the emptiness consuming his insides. It’s obvious now what he did wrong. He dangled the promise of a real relationship in front of her, toying with her emotions until she finally snapped. He thought he could get away with it, keep her around while he figured out what he wants to do. Not once did he consider her ending it first. He seriously underestimated her.

Maybe it’s better this way. He always planned to end it eventually. He never could bring himself to do it, though. There’s always been a small part of him that wanted to hold onto her for a bit longer. 

Packed and ready to check out, he heads downstairs to the hotel lobby, waiting for the first bus to arrive. Armin spots him, waving him over to the couch he’s currently lounging on. “Eren!” 

“Hey Armin,” he greets, sitting beside him. 

“God, you look awful,” Armin blurts, studying his face. 

“I didn’t get much sleep last night,” Eren admits, conscious of the dark circles under his eyes. Trying to change the subject, he asks, “What did you do last night? After formal?”

Smiling, Armin replies, “We hung out in our room. It was fun.”

“Who was all there?”

Armin lists names, the last being hers. Eren lifts his head up, alert. “She was with you last night?”

Confused, he answers, “Yeah, she was.”

“Do you know where she is now?”

“Um, probably checking out of her room with Mike. Why?” 

“I have to talk to her. I need to see her. Do you know if she’s riding the first bus with us?”

“Uh, I have no idea,” he responds, still perplexed. “Why do you have to talk to her? I didn’t realize you two talked.”

Connie appears and places himself next to Armin, sipping on a coffee cup. “The girls are waiting for the iced coffees. Oh hey, Eren! What’s up man? You look like shit.”

Annoyed, Eren stands and walks away, heading towards the café at the other side of the lobby. He sees Annie and Hitch, waiting for their order at the other side of the register. 

“Annie.”

Both girls turn around to face him, Hitch surprised, Annie pissed. “What is it, Jaeger?”

“Where is she?”

Annie smirks. “Who?”

“Stop playing dumb. Armin told me she was with you last night. Where is she?”

Hitch chimes in, “Why do you want to know?”

“I need to talk to her.”

“It’s over, Eren. Leave her alone,” Annie says, glaring at him. “She doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore.”

“You don’t know what she wants.”

“And you do? Are you fucking kidding me?” She steps towards him, ready to fight. 

Hitch holds her by the shoulders, whispering, “Annie, don’t.”

He moves back, waving his hands. “Look, I just want to speak to her. Make this right.”

She scoffs. “It’s too late for that, Jaeger. It is way too late for that.”

The barista calls out a number and Annie heads to the counter to retrieve the drinks, leaving Eren alone with Hitch.

“She liked you, you know,” Hitch says quietly. “She really liked you.”

He stares at her, unsure how to respond.

“And she thought that maybe you liked her too.”

“I – ”

“You shouldn’t treat people you care about like that.”

Before he can say anything else, Annie returns, a tray of drinks in her hand. “Let’s go, Hitch. I can’t stand being around this loser any longer.” They both leave, heading for Armin and Connie on the couch. 

Eren scratches his head, feeling worse than he did just a few minutes ago. He’s not exactly sure what his plan is. All he knows is that he needs to do some damage control. He never wanted them to be on bad terms. With the way he acted, he realizes now how he set them up for failure. How could he think casting her aside as his dirty little secret would ever end well?

He discovers another couch to sit at while he waits, checking his phone to see if she somehow miraculously unblocked him. No luck. A beacon of hope arrives when he spots her coming out of the elevator, making her way towards Annie and Hitch. Desperate, he makes his way to them, praying that somehow, she’ll find it in her heart to listen to him. 

As he approaches them, Annie sneers, “What do you want now?”

He cranes his neck to peer past them, trying to get a good look at her. She faces him once Annie speaks, blinking as if she’s not seeing him correctly.

Hitch and Annie huddle closer together, blocking her from his view. “What do you want, Jaeger?” Annie repeats, tone more threatening. 

“I need to talk to her.”

“No.”

“Just leave her alone, Eren.”

Armin and Connie observe them, bewildered. “What’s going on?”

Ignoring his brothers, he repeats, “Please. I need to talk to her.”

“Eren, stop. There’s nothing else that needs to be said. It’s over,” Hitch reiterates, standing firm in place. 

“Jaeger, seriously. It’s getting creepy.”

“I just want to talk to her, okay?” He tries to push his way past the two girls, reaching for her. “I need to talk to you, sweetie. Please.”

“She’s not your sweetie anymore, Jaeger. Give it up!” Annie shoves him, causing him to back up against Armin. 

Suddenly, Reiner appears, walking towards them, Bertolt close beside him. “What the hell is going on? Why did she shove you, Eren?”

He stands up straight, clearing his throat. “I…I need…It’s nothing. It was a misunderstanding.”

Annie scoffs. “Oh, now you’re afraid to talk? Weren’t you just harassing us about how much you need to talk to her – ”

Reiner interrupts, “Shut up, Annie. Let’s go, Eren. The bus is here. Leave these fucking losers.” He clutches Eren by the scruff and drags him outside towards the bus, watching her eyes follow him out the door. 

~~~

Stomping her foot on the floor, Annie growls under her breath, “Fucking assholes.”

Hitch faces you. “Hey, are you alright?”

You swallow hard, replying, “Yeah. That was…weird.”

“He was looking for you earlier too,” she mentions. “Said he wants to talk to you and make things right.”

“If he really wants to make things right, why didn’t he say anything yesterday?” It’s a rhetorical question that you don’t expect anyone except him to know the answer too. You’re not sure if he knows himself. 

For a moment, you pity him. You’ve never heard him so desperate. The moment passes once Reiner comes into the picture. And Eren is back to his usual self, too scared to show weakness in front of his big brother. It’s pathetic. 

Armin and Connie whisper to each other, understandably puzzled by what just occurred in front of them. Thankfully, they don’t go directly to you asking any questions, letting Annie and Hitch conjure a story to appease their suspicions. 

You’re tempted to wait the extra half hour for the other bus to avoid another awkward interaction, but you ultimately decide to board with the rest of your friends. Eren is already sitting in his own seat, the hood of his sweatshirt on, headphones covering his ears. He gives you a swift glance before focusing his attention to his phone. You let out a sigh of relief, hoping the rest of the trip goes smoothly, and he doesn’t decide to do anything erratic.  

You sit near the rear, occupying a seat to yourself. You notice him sneak peeks at you every few minutes. The whole ride, you’re anxious about him getting up and ambushing you. Thankfully, he never does. 

Back on campus, you dawdle, waiting for him to leave first. Outside, waiting for your bag to be unloaded, Eren doesn’t approach you, deterred by the overbearing presence of big brother Reiner. This might be the only instance in your life that you’ve ever been grateful for that asshole’s company. Once you get sight of your bag, you quickly grab it and hustle out of there, straight for your dorm room. 

Why is he still trying to speak to you? Is guilt eating away at him? Does he want to apologize? Could it be that he finally realizes he has feelings for you? Whatever the reason, you tell yourself not to reflect on it too much. If you continue to hope that there’s something there, you’ll never be able to move on from him. 

The warning signs were always present. Mikasa addressed it earlier in the semester. He’ll do whatever it takes to get what he wants, and sometimes he doesn’t think about how his actions can hurt people. He can be a little selfish. At the time, you brushed it aside, convinced that there weren’t enough feelings involved to get hurt. Now, as you climb your way out of the deep pit you dug yourself in, you wish you took her words seriously. 

She arrives to the room about an hour later. “Hey, roomie. Want to get lunch with us? Jean and I are getting burgers.”

You’re in bed, lazy, lost in thought, and quite frankly exhausted. “I’m not that hungry, so go without me. Thanks anyways.”

“Are you okay? You look sad.”

You sit up, putting on the best smile you can. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”

She seems skeptical, but relents, saying, “Well I can’t wait to catch up later. I didn’t see you at the end of the night.”

“I went back to the room with Mike and ending up falling asleep,” you lie. 

“I see. Anyways, let’s talk later. Jean’s waiting for me outside.”

When she’s back from lunch, you and Mikasa chat about your formal experiences, purposefully omitting any and all details about Eren. Now that it’s officially over, there’s no reason to tell her about it. After all that has happened, you don’t hate him enough to tarnish his reputation to his childhood friend. You don’t have it in you to hate him at all. 

~~~

The following week on Sunday night, Eren finds himself lying in bed yet again, belly full of his third instant ramen of the day. Too miserable to leave his room and eat a substantial meal. 

The first part of the week, he was okay. Classes and three-hour workouts at the gym served as a proper distraction. He pretended to be fine with it. Tried to convince himself that it’s better this way. He’s free to do anything and anyone he wants, like he always planned. 

It only lasted a few days until he started getting in his own head again, feeling sorry for himself, missing her immensely now that he no longer has her. Thursday, he retreated to the comfort of his own bed, the one place that still smells like her, just barely. 

He fucked it all up; he knows that. Her words echo in his head constantly, reminding him how awful he’s been the past few months. How selfish he is for not thinking for a second how his actions hurt her. He’ll never forgive himself for making her doubt her worth, for being the cause behind her heartache. 

It’s too late to take it all back. Too late to rewind and do things right. He’s living with the consequences of his decisions. Suffering the punishment that the universe is dealing him, and rightfully so. He deserves this. 

It was never in his plan to fall for her; even with this, it’s too late. It wasn’t evident to him before. Now, as he buries his nose into the pillow, desperate for any trace of her, it’s clear as day. He likes her. 

Has it been building up this entire time right under his nose? He was so confident he had control of his emotions; thought he could play it cool. Keep it casual, no strings attached. All while he kept ignoring the pleasant swell in his chest every time he was with her. Downplaying how utterly attracted he was to every part of her.

Eren despises clichés; however, the phrase you don’t know what you have until it’s gone keeps popping up in his mind. He took her for granted. He was so sure she would never leave, certain he had her wrapped around his finger. Confident that he had total control of the situation. How wrong he was. 

Armin notices his sudden change in behavior. For the most part, his roommate leaves him alone to wallow in his own self-pity. Tonight, he doesn’t.

“Eren, are you going to chapter tonight?”

“No,” he responds, remaining under the covers.

“You can’t miss two chapters in a row without a formal excuse. You skipped last week already. Pledges who miss two chapters in a row will be reprimanded.”

He’s annoyed having to hear Armin explain the rules to him. “Make up an excuse for me.”

“Eren, seriously. What’s wrong? You’ve been moping all week, ever since formal. What happened to you?”

The truth is at the tip of his tongue. I’m a fuck up. A major fuck up. I fucked up everything. He wants to spill it to his best friend, seek advice and find comfort that he knows Armin can offer him. Instead, he stays silent, wrapping himself tighter in his blanket.

“Please come to chapter tonight. It’ll be good to get out of the room. See some people.”

It takes a few minutes, but Eren reluctantly leaves and takes a much needed shower. In order to redeem himself, he has to be honest with her. No more lies, no more manipulation. He has to wear his heart of his sleeve, as she did for him. It’s still not enough, but maybe it’s a start. She still has him blocked in all forms of communication. And nobody else in his life knows about their secret affair, aside from Annie and Hitch, who he is certain will not lend a helping hand. Getting out of bed seems like the first step to putting this new plan into action.

His roommate waits for him to walk to the Alpha Tau house together. There, he is greeted by his pledge brothers, to which he tries his best to appear normal. 

At chapter, he sinks into his seat, barely listening to the agenda. Racking his brain for any inspiration on how to fix the mess he created. Near the end, Erwin announces something that does spark his interest. 

“Next semester, we are going to elect a new sweetheart for Alpha Tau. For those of you who don’t know, a sweetheart is a woman who represents the fraternity and all of our values. She will become an honorary member of our organization, partaking in our many events, including fundraisers and social gatherings. We want someone who is friendly, kind-hearted, and involved on campus. Historically, they are affiliated with a sorority, though not required. Unfortunately, due to last semester’s troubles, our last sweetheart withdrew from her position, which is completely understandable. Now that we are back in the good graces of the university and the other organizations, I believe it is a great time to elect a new sweetheart.” 

Levi adds, “Girlfriends are allowed to be nominated. Keep in mind, we as a fraternity will be voting on who will be the sweetheart, majority rules. Please don’t take it personally if your girlfriend is not selected.”

Erwin shuffles through his papers, ready to jot down some notes. “Alright. Any nominations?”

Immediately, Jean rises from his seat to nominate Mikasa. Armin grins, seemingly supportive of this suggestion.  

Slouched in his seat, Reiner yells out, “Sandra, from Delta Mu.” 

Erwin notes this. “Anyone else?”

Sweetheart. The only person Eren can think of who encompasses that title is her. On impulse, he sticks his hand and nominates her.

Armin turns to stare at him, baffled. Reiner cranes his neck to leer at him, repulsion and confusion etched on his face. 

Mike whoops and yells out, “I second that nomination. I didn’t know you two were friends, Eren. Good shit.”

He ignores Mike’s comments and bows his head towards the floor, avoiding the stares from his best friend and big brother. A few more women are suggested before the meeting ends. 

Armin follows Eren down the stairs, whispering, “Why did you nominate her? I didn’t even know you two were friends.”

They stand in the living room, slightly away from the crowd of brothers gathering near the TV to watch the end of a basketball game. In a soft voice, Eren responds, “Well, we aren’t friends necessarily. It’s complicated, but I can explain. For the past few months, her and I have been – ”

“Eren, what the actual fuck, man?” Reiner interrupts, his tone loud and obnoxious as he descends the stairs, Bertolt tailing him, per usual. “Have you lost your fucking mind? You picked a Sigma Nu Kappa? What the fuck?”

Armin intervenes. “Reiner, calm down – ”

“I’m not talking to you Arlert, shut the fuck up. Eren, why did you nominate that Sigma Nu Kappa?” 

He doesn’t respond, annoyed and fed up with Reiner’s constant hostility and outrageous behavior, especially now. Bertolt stays behind him with the same pathetic expression, always hovering his best friend like a lost puppy dog.  

“I knew it. You’re fucking her aren’t you?”

Eren glares at him, muscles tense, fists tight. He grits his teeth, keeping silent.

Reiner continues. “I saw you two at formal, outside the bathrooms. Think you’re slick, don’t you?”

“Formal?” Armin interjects, the pieces starting to align in his head.

“Figured you were too drunk to care, so I let it slide. Then all that shit happened with Annie. Then I knew something was going on.”

Armin twists his head back and forth between the two brothers, unsure how to alleviate the situation. Eren still doesn’t respond, cheeks hot, eyes narrowed, fingertips tingling. Listening with disdain as Reiner continues to berate him.

“And tonight. Jesus fucking Christ, Eren. You disappoint me. Of all the girls you could have fucked, you had to choose her. What a goddamn shame.”

He clenches his fists tight, disgusted by every word this comes out of this fucking prick’s mouth, as if he’s hearing this type of shit talk for the first time. However, it’s worse now than it’s ever been before. It’s personal.

“All these hot sorority girls and you choose an ugly Sigma Nu Kappa bitch – ”

Bam.

Like a crack of thunder, Eren’s knuckles connect with Reiner’s jaw.

~~~

You’re in pajamas browsing the Internet on your laptop when you hear Mikasa gasp in bed across from you. You watch her, concerned, as she hops off, hastily changing into sweats.

“I have to go,” she announces, scrambling to collect her keys.

“Are you okay? What’s happening?” you ask, sitting up.

With a somber expression on her face, she says, “Armin just texted me. Eren got kicked out of Alpha Tau.”

----------

End Notes: See you back in two weeks for the finale of Rush! 

----------

Tag List:

@jaegerxeren @thelovewitch0v0 @hippiecultz @silver-foxling-blog @eren-slut @littlelaur27 @mokyowife @thenamesaceee @mxnst3rz @itswhits @diamandveins @ritzzberitzz @xartisticoutletx @izukusupreme @erensfavblackie @tippy-toes @monbebe101 @crtzrulestheworld @maqqiekwon @where-the-blackbirds-sing @minibold @hilichurl01 @jbird0508 @rainzelenia @anonbbygirlsblog @prettygirllisa @ctrllovre @4522-08 @laiorelle @pompompurjin @inbriannawestrust @alicebleu @sparkles-and-rust @neopussytechnology @kpopisbaeforever @kindmarely @weasleyisourking1

@roronoazorosbxtchh @f4irycafe @hello-juuliana @sideofthemoonn @imaddicted-b @belovedackerman @bunnyxgirlxo @butterfly-skinnylegend @bettydes8 @invisible-mori @yesv01 @letig0

[meanbossart]

Misc. Ask compilation

These aren't all of the asks I want to reply to, just some that I can answer relatively quickly to clean the ol' inbox out before things get out of hand. Thanks for your patience!

HAHAHA THANK YOU FOR PERUSING AROUND and for enjoying my work! I had a... Weird Gale experience my first playthrough which led to his characterization being what it is in my comics. Here's the beat-by-beat of all the shenanigans: https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/740827466716807168/alright-i-am-like-90-sure-there-is-one-line-in-a

And here's just some of my personal thoughts on him! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/736193145686114305/can-you-tell-me-more-about-how-you-would-make-gale

I would be lying if I said I'm not conflicted to know my style still bears some remnants of my edgy teen roots (not your fault not noticing it though, you aren't the first and won't be the last) BUT... That comic did mean a lot to me as a youth, so I guess I should be proud 🤷 and honestly it is a little cool that such a thing would survive for so long in what I do, crazy how that works.

LMAO, re: the bottom/top debacle, I was honestly so surprised to see people react to it like it's something novel. If I ever expected to get any push back on the matter, I thought it would be from people assuming DU drow was the top and taking issue with how violent and big he is (and yknow, some people are weirdly protective of Astarion as if he isn't a sneaky murder machine rippling with lean muscle)

Very disheartening to see that mindset still so alive and well among young people, but I guess it just means I gotta draw DU drow throwing more back and Astarion drooling over more ass until the stereotype is forcefully banished out of people's minds!

(more asks below the cut)

"Sleeper agent activation phrase" absolutely took me out, Thank you so much LOL

YEAH I got it pretty late though, Astarion had already told my durge that he was a vampire of his own accord (and the response was, of course, "no duh") I forgot wheter this happened before or after the first romance scene triggered, but I think after.

Since this was after DU drow decided he was gonna fuck him out of pure contrarian spite and was shamelessly laying it extremely thick, He happilly let Astarion drink his blood. Hell, he was probably a little Too Eager - the guy likes pain and he likes letting people he trusts do with his body whatever they will, and while he didn't yet trust Astarion at that point, that event might've very well reminded him of something from his past that planted a seed which would eventually grow into his genuine affection for the guy.

Ah, he definitely got a half-chub as it happened too. I'm sure Astarion noticed it and just walked off rolling his eyes and thinking "eugh of course" lmao.

Hello!!!

Oh man, I grew up fascinated with horror things. I remember from a very young age just looking at the covers and backs of horror movies at the film-rental even though I wasn't allowed to watch them. I was also easily scared but I sought those things out anyway - I think i just enjoyed the visceral reactions it drew out of me and was always curious about most things taboo.

When I got access to the internet that just opened a (very unfortunate) door to all things vile and awful like it did for so many people at that age in time. Though my tastes have changed a lot since then (Less August Underground, more The Devils kind of guy nowadays) my stories and art are just always going to fall into a horror-y category because I just... Don't think there's many better ways to showcase the human experience and emotional range without many of the elements native to the genre, and I'm all about that.

Thank you for your question and your sweet words, have a good week yourself!

I did a little write-up about that over here! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/742508493562593280/i-dont-have-a-particular-question-in-mind-sorry

That's the result of a scene that happens relatively early in the story I'm writing ("A Novel Experience" on Ao3).

{SPOILERS} DU drow accidentally passes out on a blade which puts a relatively deep gash on his hip. Meanwhile, Astarion is weakened and starved after certain events that transpired the prior night. They have a private exchange both in a somewhat hazy-state of mind and Astarion ends up prodding and prying at his wound while feeding, so it's a laceration and bite mark that just scarred over badly.

Elves apparently don't grow body hair so never LOL guess they'll just have to slip&slide up on each other for heat

[youwouldntlietopapa]

"I'm not jealous, you are jealous."

With Primo

This is anon and it’s definitely not Beth ❤️

I love you and I like you thank you bye

Oof, okay, this one got more feelsy that I was aiming for. Sorry not sorry.

_________________________________________________________

“Buongiorno, sorella.” Primo’s greeting sounds unusually formal and a bit flat when you walk into the greenhouse. Not his usual warm welcome or his smile. In fact, he hasn’t looked up from his work table where he was fussing over one of his plants.

“… Good morning, Papa.” You respond, sounding more like you’re asking a question than offering a hello. “It’s nearly tea time.”

It’s become a habit over the last few weeks. Tea with Primo in the greenhouse at 10:30. Late enough in the morning that he’s ready for a break and early enough to give you some time to spend together before lunch. It’s… something. Neither of you have been willing to name it or put rules to it. It simply is what it is and you’re content knowing that you’re both comfortable and happy with your arrangement, without worrying too much about the rest. Sharing his bed (or work bench, or chair, or whatever else is at hand) when the mood strikes, and enjoying his company just as much.

You walk over, setting the tea tray down on the bench next to where he’s working. Primo still doesn’t look, shifting his weight subtly to make any attempt at a kiss on the cheek awkward if not impossible. It’s not like him to behave that way and definitely not like him to not even offer a thank you for bringing pastries from the kitchens.

“Not today, I think.” He says bluntly. “I am very busy.”

You blink at him for a long moment. “Replanting that hosta? Primo, if you’re going to lie to me, could you at least make it less insultingly transparent?”

He huffs. “I did not think you would come today. I have things to do.”

“Why wouldn’t I come today, of all days?” That’s all the patience you have for talking to his back and you walk around him to actually see his face. “If I did something, I wish you would tell me.”

“You did nothing. I just assume you would be with Cardinal Doyle this morning. Too busy for tea out here.” He says Doyle’s name like a curse, his mouth twisting sourly.

It takes a moment for the meaning to sink in, like an unexpected slap in the face. You had been talking to the Cardinal or, more like, he was talking to you. The other Sisters had already warned you about that man and his wandering hands. He was a menace and a pest, and also had seniority. It was very hard not to talk to him once he got it in his head to talk to you.

“What on Earth are you talking about, Primo? Do you mean at breakfast?”

“In the hall, si. You seemed very interested in what he had to say. I hear him telling you to come to his office later.” He finally looks at you, trying to keep his face neutral but his pale eye glows in the muted light of the greenhouse. “You are not obligated here, Sorella. If you wish to meet with the Cardinal, I am capable of entertaining myself.”

“Are you being serious right now?” You stare at him, stunned. “Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”

“Are you forgetting who you are talking to?” In all the time you’ve known him, you’ve never heard Primo play the I am Papa card. Definitely not with you. He’s told you more times than you care to count that he’s too old for juvenile dick measuring contests. I always win those anyway, he winks every time.

But not today, apparently.

“I thought I knew. But I’m starting to wonder.” You pause and look at him, pieces clicking together. “Are you… Are you jealous???”

Primo scoffs and dusts the dirt off his hands, marching across the greenhouse to look for a larger pot. “Now you are just being ridiculous!”

“Me!? You’re the one who’s all bent out of shape because I was talking to Cardinal Doyle – who approached me by the way! He’s my superior, what was I meant to do? Walk away? I’m so sorry, Cardinal, Papa Primo will be absolutely miserable if I talk to anyone else! A rule I was supposed to just intuit, as it happens. I know, very odd, but you must know that I can read Papa’s mind and know exactly what he wants without him ever actually telling me!”

That certainly got his attention. Primo turned back, pulling himself up tall. It was easy to forget how imposing he could be. Easy to forget that Papa Secondo was his little brother. His little brother who still wouldn’t cross the eldest Emeritus. But you are quickly reminded, fighting the urge to try and shrink down, to back away.

“You may speak to whomever you wish, Sorella. You do not belong to me, clearly. If it is Doyle you want, you have my blessing. May the Old One bring you both nothing but happiness.” His tone was icy cold.

“You are jealous!” Is all you can think to retort. Maybe not your finest comeback and definitely not ideal timing, but no one ever said you were good at keeping your mouth shut.

“I am not jealous. You are jealous!” Primo snaps.

This time you do stand there, looking like he slapped you. Part of you wants to laugh at the absurdity and part wants to scream. Not able to make a decision, what finally comes out of your mouth is simply, “Who in all the depths of hell is it I’m jealous of, exactly?”

“I see you yesterday, and several days before that, Sorella. Don’t think I am so old and feeble I don’t notice. The way you glare daggers at Sorella Abigail when she comes to talk with me.” There mockery in his tone meant to get under your skin and it works all too well.

“Abigail???” You are very aware of how loud you’ve both gotten and the greenhouse walls aren’t thick. But to hell with it. “You think I’m jealous of Abigail???”

“Si, Sorella.” He fires back snidely. “You deny it?”

“Satanas, I think I had better just go get your brothers because I think they may need to take you to the doctor for whatever head injury you’ve apparently suffered. Jealous of Abigail. Lucifer be merciful. Of all the absurd things you could have said. The last person I will ever be jealous of is that catty, manipulative, power hungry little social climber. You can talk to her whenever you want, Papa, I just thought she was making a damned fool of herself, aiming to be rejected by the third Papa this month!”

“And you were, what? Going to Doyle’s office just for a nice chat? Hmm? Everyone here knows who he is. What he does. Don’t tell me you don’t know. I see right through you. You want to fuck that stronzo, you go ahead. And when you are sorry and disappointed, don’t come back here crying to me. I try to warn you.” He slams the bigger pot for the hosta down on the bench so hard it cracks.

“I don’t want to fuck Doyle!” You shout back at him. The shadow of a ghoul on the greenhouse wall freezes, pressing a little closer to listen. You know that silhouette. “SWISS, FUCK OFF!”

The shadow skitters away, leaving you to your shouting match.

“I was only talking to him because his fucking sister is a florist and she knows people who deal in rare flowers, you absolute dickhead! All I wanted was her number so I could surprise you because it’s your birthday next month! But I suppose I won’t need to worry about that now, will I? I don’t need to ask you what this is or if you want more. I don’t need to tell you how I feel. You’re the brilliant Papa who’s already got it all figured out. It’s Doyle I want, right? Just my type. Creepy scumbag who keeps trying to feel me up. Not the man I actually spend all my free time with. Not the man I actually get excited to see.” Your anger and your hurt collide and your voice cracks. All the energy you’d had for yelling vanishing at once.

“Not the man I actually love.” Your eyes drop to the floor because it hurts to look at him, and all you can manage is a tired sigh. “I’m so sorry I bothered you, Papa. Please forgive me. I won’t keep you from your work any longer.”

His hand catches your elbow before you can reach the door and when you look back at him, there’s something panicked and uncertain in his eyes. A hope he’s afraid to give voice to, half certain it will crumble to dust if he tries.

“You don’t mean that.” It’s not angry or even accusing. Just disbelief.

The tears on your cheeks burn like acid. Traitors, every one of them. “You’re going to call me a liar now too?”

“Tesoro…”

“Don’t snip at me about treating you like you’re old and feeble and then tell me you didn’t know, Primo.” You hang your head and give in to the exhaustion. “I love you. Of course I love you. I spend every morning waiting to come out here just to see you. To be with you. To be close to you. You had to know.”

“Why didn’t you say?” His hand slips from your elbow to your hand.

“Say what, Primo? That it wasn’t enough? Because it was. It was enough to just… to just have you to myself for a little while. A few minutes. An hour. Whatever I got. I could make it enough because it was better than nothing. And if… if I said it and it was wrong… it would vanish. I couldn’t… I couldn’t risk that.”

His warm arms envelope you, wrapping you in the smell of fresh turned earth and a dozen different herbs you can’t hope to name all of. The sound of his heartbeat, faster than its usual steady rhythm. His hand rubbing your back, soothing and calm.

“Mi dispiace.” That voice, that’s the one you know. Primo’s voice. “Mi dispiace, angelo mio. Forgive me. I don’t have an excuse. I am a fool. A fool who doesn’t deserve you.”

His finger hooks under your chin and lifts it to look you in the eye. Gently drying your tears, cupping your cheek. “I thought…” He sighs, shaking his head at himself. “I see the way he hangs around you. Like a fly, always buzzing. But you smile, you laugh and I think… Satan knows what I think. Stupid, ridiculous, petty things. Because he is still young, he is flashy and confident… And I am…”

“Perfect.” You finish for him. “You are perfect.”

Primo presses his forehead to yours and closes his eyes. “Far from perfect. But for you, fiore mio, I will keep trying to be.” His lips brush against yours softly. “Anch'io ti amo… from the start. The very beginning. No matter how many times I tell myself you don’t need an old man holding you back. I can’t help it. I don’t want to. Ti amo. Ti amo tanto. Ti amo così tanto che non riesco a pensare lucidamente.”

When you stretch up to kiss him again, it’s no light brushing of lips. Your hands catch the back of his neck and you kiss him deeply, passionately, the way you’ve held back from anywhere but bed. Worried it would overstep some line. Break some unwritten rule. But he leans into the kiss, meeting you with equal desire and need. His arms crushing you to himself.

When you finally break away and look back at him, it’s like seeing a new man. “Does that mean we can still have tea?”

“No.” He says firmly. Letting you go and taking your hand, he starts walking quickly toward the far end of the greenhouse, hidden by a thick layer of foliage, to the private room you two have made use of before.

“No. Today, amore, I still have apologies to make and lost time to make up for.”

________________________________________________________

Anch'io ti amo = I love you too

Ti amo. Ti amo tanto. Ti amo così tanto che non riesco a pensare lucidamente. = I love you. I love you so much. I love you so much I can't think straight.

[call-me-copycat]

Hiii Copycat! ^-^ I was hoping I could make a request? I was hoping for angst to fluff? With Aizawa who takes in/adopts a vigilante reader with an illusion quirk? And maybe she starts to develop a crush on Shinso too?? Thank you!! <3

Hello there! First of all, I saw your ask as soon as you sent it, but the reason I didn't respond was because my phone was (and still is) broken, but it's getting repaired, so I can respond now. Also I only have a phone, no computer or anything, so it's a bit hard, but I'm working on it! (o´Д`)=з

I'm very sorry for the wait, and I apologize again because there will still be more waiting until I finish the story, but I promise you it'll be worth the wait! I'm already nearing 14k words, and it's still going. I can't thank you enough for your patience, along with the fact that you're the first one to ever give me a request, so thank you very much! And feel free to request whenever you'd like, I really enjoy getting to write stories for people, and it makes my day, so you don't need to hesitate! (*´∇｀*)

Anyways, since I'm still working on the story, I originally wanted to post it all once it was done, but then I decided that since it might take awhile I'll post the first part and see what you think. I actually really like this idea because I was thinking something very similar to it around the time of your request. I hope you enjoy this bit, and please remember, I haven't forgotten, I'm just trying to work with a broken phone so it's a bit difficult, but it's advancing greatly and shouldn't be too long of a wait anymore. Thank you for your patience! ୧꒰*´꒳`*꒱૭✧

Escaping The Night (Part 1)

Welcome! - Introduction and Request rules (Important if you want me to write for you or if you want to know who I am)

▶ Characters: Shinso x Fem reader (although I used "they" in some areas) + Father/Mentor Aizawa

▶ Genre: Angst to Fluff

▶ Summary: Teenager Reader is a Vigilante that roams the streets with their friends, always on the lookout for crime and injustice. However, something disrupts Reader's world when they get themselves captured by the police. What will happen to them next?

▶ Warnings:

- Panic attack

- Reader got hit with a tranquilizer

- And an extra warning because I had to make a few characters just for this story (not necessarily OC's, just background characters. I know some people greatly dislike this so this is a warning, even though they're not that important).

- Also since this is part 1, you won't see Aizawa mainly until part 2, and Shinso is a bit further ahead. Another warning for those that don't like to get into a story and then have to wait

▶ Word Count: 3,201

➤ {This is Part 1}

➜ [Part 2]

➜ [Part 3]

➜ [Part 4]

➜ [Part 5]

➜ [Part 6]

➜ [Part 7]

➜ [Part 8] Coming Soon!

Tik...

Tik....

Tik...

The hands of your watch sounded endlessly as if it was mocking you, in a way, how it had infinite time while yours was limited.

You gritted your teeth and focused the best you could on the situation at hand. You and your partner were situated atop one of the city's numerous buildings, keeping an eye out for a particular sly little villain.

There were repeated reports of a variety of break-ins, ranging from small restaurants to higher bank robberies. At first, the people waited for the heroes to find this villain. But it seemed that they always had bigger fish to fry, always having excuses.

"The paperwork!"

"There's bigger issues at hand then some late night thief"

"We looked but didn't find anyone, sorry"

"Have you tried getting a better security system? I think that's the problem here"

It drove you mad. You didn't hate all heroes, not wanting to be like those anti-hero people who got upset everytime a hero wasn't there immediately whenever they ran into the smallest issue. But you did have a grudge.

You just didn't understand how the very heros that society put on a pedestal didn't do the simplest things that were expected of them sometimes. Too busy getting caught up in the paperwork and red tape.

Being a Hero once was something that was only ever dreamed of, something that one couldn't ever get close to. When quirks were introduced, this changed many mindsets, and completely flipped the many laws of reality that so many had believed. It was groundbreaking, revolutionary. Society advanced at faster speeds, and new technologies were pouring out.

But, unfortunately, what goes up, must come down.

On the beginning, the definition and laws of a hero were choppy, they didn't really have any boundaries due to the fact that no one had anything to go off of. But, as time progressed, more laws were put into place. A hero simply couldn't go and fight a villain and be done with. Now, they had to fill out reports, and sometimes the villains successfully won court cases over this.

The foundation of what it meant to be a hero was put into place. Or had it? It was still a very controversial topic, but the main idea was set, and that's all that mattered.

Now in current days, heroes still look like the same cape-wearing muscular doer's of justice, but many times, they're either doing it for the gold or the glory. Or they don't do anything at all, restricted and bound by paperwork and invisible strings. They know what's right, and they have the gift to help and save. But if they're told "no" then they follow.

That's why you preferred being a vigilante. You got to battle villains and help people, all the while avoiding the specificities. Yeah, you did have to run from the cops every now and then, sometimes a hero or two, but that just made it all the more interesting.

Plus, you got to be a part of a sort of underground society, one that was shielded from public eye and hidden away in the depths of existence.

So, here you were doing the heroes' jobs, again.

You looked to your partner, who was watching the entrance of a significant jewelry shop that hadn't been touched by any villains yet. You were currently using your illusion quirk to cover both of yourselves in a sheet of invisibility so you could better the possibility of your expected outcome.

Your quirk was powerful, and full of possibility. Though you were never fully nor formally trained, you still understood the limits of your quirk enough to use it exceptionally well. Long, intense training sessions over a span of time allowed you to gain a deeper insight into the inner depths of your quirk, to which you've come to the realization wasn't just any ordinary quirk, even going as far to call it overpowered at some points.

Your thinking was cut short when your partner signaled to you with a silent fist up from where you two were laying. You looked down and finally spotted the villain you were looking for. He didn't look too strong, nor did his face ring any bells, so that meant he was just some lowly villain who lucked out with a shifty quirk.

From the rooftop where you laid, you and your partner watched together to see what the man was going to do next. You noticed he looked like any other person walking around the town, short black hair with a black hoodie on over a pair of black jeans, and you realized that it was surely no accident he was dressed so camouflaged since it was late in the night.

Your eyes followed the man, curious as to how he was able to get in and out of robberies so quickly. The man walked up to the back door of the bank, and your eyes widened when you saw his body begin to shift and distort, slowly closing in until he was perfectly 2-dimensional, and looking at him made you think about all the cartoon characters that you watched when you were younger.

Upon this discovery, the plan was set in motion as you and your partner both hopped down the fire escape of the building and went in for a silent chase across the street, as the man had already slinked underneath the door. He had unlocked it for an easy exit, you thought possibly because he couldn't turn other objects flat like him.

Your partner, Omonifukai Hanawadashii (whom you called Fukai for short) whispered for you both to split up so this villain would think that it was only him, since you were better at stealth rather then combat like he was.

Fukai's quirk was one that seemed simple, but had proven to be incredibly strong when used right. He was able to control the density of different objects, including people or even specific parts of people. His specialty was increasing the density of his hand to the point to where it was easily able to crush anything under it, to which he normally used to knock villains out. A positive side of his quirk was he could still lift anything he used it on, but his drawbacks caused him to feel more pain than normal if hit or attacked.

Your agreed, and uncovered him from the blanket of your quirk, revealing him to reality just as he had once been before you put it on him.

Fukai ran in the direction of the villain as you ran in the opposite direction, going for a higher point so you could see the action and use your quirk properly.

Unfortunately the building wasn't as tall as it was wide, so you had to stick with crouching behind one of the jewelry counters, trying to stick as close to the wall as possible in order to remain unseen.

As luck would have it the villain seemed to have been thinking in a similar manner, as you watched Fukai chase after him as he slithered across the wall, a cheeky grin resting on his face as Fukai grew frustrated at his devious tricks of escape. The alarm started to blare as Fukai tripped one of the wires, cursing low to himself as the villain chuckled at the misfortune.

You studied the villain, watching as he glided across the walls and the floor at times, and you realized that he was able to move at an increased pace when aligned to a flat surface, in contrast to standing straight up as he did earlier. You came to the conclusion that he was a villain of cowardice, preferring to get in and out without a fight, and opting to use sly skills instead of risking a fight with a person of stronger status.

With this new information secured into place by your observations, you devised a plan in order to catch the villain and leave him be for the police.

You used your quirk and dug into his subconscious, a grin of your own growing on your face as you located your target, an almost cruel idea forming in your head at the expense of the villain. You had found his fear.

The villain dodged each of Fukai's attempts at landing a blow to him with such an ease it seemed as if he had all the time in the world. He was cocky in his own skills, having had been in worse scenarios and still escaped.

The villain looked directly at Fukai from where he was seated on one of the walls, almost laughing at the sight of some random teenage boy thinking he could play hero and catch the big bad villain.

Fukai noticed you signal to him with your hand up, closing and opening from the corner of his eye and understood that you were going to set off your quirk. Without this context, most people wouldn't understand that some of your illusions work directly in your opponents mind, meaning that your opponents would react to something surrounding people couldn't see. Fukai understood, and he backed off a bit in order to not disrupt the illusion.

The villain was about to mock Fukai a bit more before departing, but his smirk quickly fell at he noticed a large, hulking figure appear behind the kid.

His eyes widened and breathing became still as he made eye contact with the one and only symbol of peace, All Might himself.

Shocked to the point of motion becoming forgotten, the villain's thoughts suddenly started bouncing all around, before erratically trying to think of different plans, anything he could do to get away. He ran into a dead end with every single trick up his sleeve as he recalled seeing the massive hero defeat some of these biggest, baddest villains known to Japan into a pile of defeat. No, there was no solution to this problem.

Just as you both were about to take out the villain in his moment of vulnerability, everyone in the room jumped as a man wearing all black with a large scarf resting around his shoulders dropped from one of the pipes near the roof of the building. His absolute silence despite his sudden movements made you wonder how long he was there for.

Your illusion was ruined as the intruding man walked through it, unable to see it. The villain's frustration grew as he realized that he had been duped, but before he could do anything the man's scarf that had once been still suddenly jumped to life as it floated all around the dark-haired man's head for a second, before violently snapping around the villain, and your eyes grew as you saw the man's hair rise in the air in a very similar manner. Surreal. Before you knew it the villain was back to normal, and you quickly realized that this man was most likely a hero of sorts.

You saw Fukai looking over at you as he shuffled to the walls while the man was busy, but narrowly avoided being caught in the man's scarf as it aimed to close around him just as it has done to the villain moments ago.

You signaled for him to run, and he hesitated for a second, worry filling his eyes, but ultimately decided to listen and trust you as the scarf slithered around his ankle, to which he just barely managed to shake off.

You heard the man in the scarf curse as he watched your friend go, not wanting to risk letting the villain go in trade.

You toiled a bit, trying to tackle the problem that presented itself to you without introduction. A hero showing up so early wasn't part of the plan, nor was it expected considering most of the heroes' patrol routes were situated a slight distance away.

So, you wondered, who was this guy?

Your thinking was interrupted by the interrupter himself.

"I know you're there. Don't try to fool me into believing you're not."

You gasped a bit, not considering how he was able to know you were there when you were under your quirk. That is, until you held up your hand and realized that it was visible again, and right behind it was the man in the scarf, hair afloat and glowing red eyes situated directly on you.

He had the villain unconscious on the ground, tied in that scarf of his, which he held two parts of in his hands in order to keep it secure. But there was plenty of the scarf to go around. You realized this as you came face to face with the snake-like entrails of the scarf flickering and snapping at you, seeking to seize and bind you along the villain.

You were lucky your face was covered, because this man didn't seem to be as ignorant as some of the other heroes (especially sidekicks). You didn't speak as you dodged and ran, not wanting to reveal who you might be.

To your devastation, as soon as you opened the back doors from where you came you were met with police offers running in your direction from the front of the building. Panic built up in your chest as you didn't have much energy from continuously covering yourself in your quirk, along with having it disrupted twice.

You still pushed yourself to at least run, deciding that you could easily lose them in the plentiful twists and turns that filled the little seaside town.

You understood that if you ran in the direction of your place that you and your things were were currently at, then you would most likely give it away to the police and you'd have to deal with them being on your back as you looked for a new place to stay. But you didn't want to outright run in the opposite direction in case they thought of your plan, so you settled on running in a sort of zig zag, not wanting them to be able to predict your path of travel.

You turned randomly at each turn you ran into, landing in alleyways, on top of dumpsters, underneath large trees heavy with leaves, and eventually up and over fences of backyards as you found yourself in some sort of comfortable little neighborhood nestled in the small town.

Your panic shrunk a bit as you realized that you had thrown off most of the police officers that were chasing you, having been diminished to a small few stragglers that refused to let up.

Sweat poured down your face and blotted your underarms and neck, making you grimace in discomfort as you also had to deal with the sharp pangs that made their way up your legs and back.

You awkwardly sprinted as a little dog chased you across a small yard, and hopped another fence, looking to find somewhere to turn or hide, just anything to get them off your back.

You used your quirk with scarcity as you looked over your back to the best of your ability and hit 3 of the remaining 5 officers with an illusion of yourself tripping over the fence to which they turned to. The other two tried yelling at them that it was a trick, but decided their attempts would be pointless as they kept up the chase, not faltering.

You frowned, squinting as you felt an impending migraine starting to make its way into your head. You knew that you were overexerting yourself, and that the migraine would only serve as a distraction if it grew, but you were so very close, you didn't have any choice but to keep going.

You hopped the next fence without as much strength as you originally did, knowing that it only drained your energy faster having to constantly boost yourself up and down rather than running and turning. You wouldn't be able to keep it up for long.

You remembered that there was a cluster of empty houses that weren't sold yet somewhere nearby, so you ran in turn, changing your course of action by jumping out into the street from one of the backyards you were in, missing the pair of curious violet eyes watching you from a window in one of the houses.

You ran down the street into a more disheveled neighborhood that connected to the newer one you were just in, looking over to see only one officer remained. You didn't remember when the other one disappeared, but you excused it because you couldn't constantly look over your back when running.

You sharply turned a corner to get out of the sight of the remaining officer, heading to the end of the neighborhood where the empty houses were before throwing yourself through the open window of the first one you saw without thought, you just needed a place of hiding.

You breathed a heavy sigh as you propped yourself down for a second, having been through way too much action than you signed up for. You knew the police would probably think you ran out back towards the desolate fields that laid behind the houses.

To them, the houses were legally listed as private property*, so they wouldn't think about you bursting into someone's home without warning. You knew they were empty though from your days of scavenging for goods to survive, in fact you learned a lot about your surroundings because of that, and that's how you were able to evade the police for such a long time.

You held your breath as you heard him pass by, but once again fate seemed to be voting for your downfall, as you heard crunching of footsteps walk around the house instead of right past, and you started to grasp at what they were doing.

As soon as the backdoor flew open was the exact moment you recognized just where you were, and what house you had chosen.

You started to hyperventilate, air whooshing in and out of your lungs as the room around you started to spin.

Home...

You were home...

But this wasn't home...

It was a house once filled with horrors, pain and agony, which now reeked of death. A familiar smell you knew all too well.

Your legs moved indistinctly, as though they had minds of their own and yet still understood your internal logic.

Heart racing, eyes watering, you refused to let yourself get caught, especially in the very place you gained your new life after the death of your old one.

Mind numb, and filled with only thoughts of 'escape', you ran to the doors, but remembered they were glued shut, along with the windows. You had done that once so very long ago.

The remaining open window was shut and blocked by the police officer that was chasing you earlier, who was now the one cornering you right by it. You could see a look of compassion and understanding in his eyes, but you saw it as a look of pity instead in your moment of frustration.

You could hear not one, not two, but three voices surrounding you, and anyone that was surrounding you blurred into one giant mass as your fear started to overwhelm you, overtaking your very mind and filling every crevice it could find.

In a moment of desperation you tried using your quirk, trying to create the worst, cruelest entity that you could create, but nothing came out instead.

Your eyes started to warm as you felt tears of frustration and fear building up, but you didn't cry, you refused to. Your emotions started to slow down as you saw one of the police officer aiming what looked like a gun at you, finger on trigger. At that moment you gained slight control of your thoughts, your mind painfully screaming at you to get out of there, to protect your pride and dignity.

In your panicked state you turned and tried slamming the window to escape, but all you attempts were futile as it wasn't going to budge. You heard the trigger being pulled and braced yourself, but all you felt was a little stab on your arm. You looked down and realized that it was a tranquilizer dart that had lodged itself into your upper arm.

Your mind started to fill with fog and the edges of your vision started to slowly fill in as you banged your hand on the window in one last attempt of escape.

And then your world went dark.

A/N:

Alright, so that was part 1! I do hope that it was good enough for you, I'm trying to learn from past mistakes when writing, and I feel as though I'm in improving little by little everyday.

Don't worry, if writing the story takes too long then I'll post the parts one by one instead of waiting until it's all finished. This is my first time writing something so long, but I enjoy it!ദി ᷇ᵕ ᷆ )♡

Any feedback or constructive criticism is completely allowed, and if you see any mistakes then please notify me so I can fix them.

If you wish to send in a request as well, once again, please don't hesitate!

I'll be working on this as much as I can, but my progress is slowed until my phone gets completely fixed (which it will soon-hopefully anyways). I appreciate your patience! (๑´ㅂ`๑)

For the first *, that basically means that I have a note about whatever is near it. The note for that was I have absolutely no clue how buying or selling houses and property works, I just made that up on the spot. I know there's a 99% chance it's wrong, so just please go with it, I'm sorry for any annoyance.

This story is ok for reposts or other uses such as those YouTube channels that read out fanfics and things like that. My only ask is that you tell me beforehand for everything but the reposts. I just like to see other people interact with things I make, it makes me happy (⁠^⁠^⁠).

Thank you so much for reading this complete mess, I know I wrote a lot of things that aren't the story, and once again I'm sorry about that.

I hope you have a lovely day!

ヾ(>᎑<`๑)ﾖｼﾖｼｨ

年2022/月12/日01

[coffeehighallthetime-blog]

I am Kind not Complacent Chpt 5

Hello! Here is Chpt 5! warnings: some mention of overstimulation and comfort through panic attack.

Chpt 5: 3K

{Prev}-{next}

Heimdall x fem!reader (they're both kids rn)

multi chapter

hope you enjoy it! and thank you to @engardeitsme as usualllll love you buddy, thank you for your support!

thank you to @lunaryasha, @nokolla as well for reading!💜💜💜

A/N: also sorry for the typos it's very late lol

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Is there a single thought going on in your head?”

Heimdall had asked the question at least three times now and the girl was starting to lose her patience, twiddling her thumbs as Heimdall glared at her. The discomfort of letting the boy try to have free range of her mind made her uncomfortable, no matter how many times they had done it now. And his lack of empathy, taking her time, running through her head, only to blame her? He really was a weasel. 

“Certainly,” she spoke stiffly, breathing through her nose. “I’m just not focusing on any particular thought. Which is the point of the exercise in case you forgot.” She watched as his eyes squinted and snorted, poking at his furrowed brows.” also, I don’t think you’re supposed to make it this obvious that you are running through people’s heads.” Heimdall’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment as he batted the girl’s hand away. 

“I’m working on it, ok?” He muttered, trying to relax his features as he continued to pick through her thoughts. It was a jumbled mess of things, like muttering getting louder and quieter, with just a few words popping out at him. He could tell she was getting frustrated with him, an angry rumbling in the undertow of her musings. Nothing to give him coherent information. It didn’t help that anything he was able to grab onto was interrupted by the thoughts of people all the way on the other side of the lodge. One moment, he could hear Yn’s thoughts start to get louder, and the next it was some trivial rubbish of a maid doing chores, or the fighters sparing outside, horses in the stable, or his damn brother, Thor, snoring. Heimdall growled and threw his head back, rubbing his temples with his palms.

“It’s still too loud!” the girl sighed at this, pulling a leg up to her chest while the other dangled over her chair.

“We’ve already moved three times, Weasel. I think this is as quiet as it’s going to get for us.”

“I know, which is why I feel even more pissed off!” he bolted from his seat, pacing around the room. “We’ve been at this for weeks and all I can hear is gibberish and your surface-level musings! It’s ridiculous. Do you have ‘any’ thoughts in that walnut you call a brain?!” the girl frowned, turning her head away. In the thoughts that thrummed threw her into Heimdall's ears he only heard: ‘...I…..Heimdall……idiot….’

“Excuse me?” he frowned, turning to her. She looked at him confused.

“What?”

“All I heard was my name and the word idiot!” the girl raised a brow, knowing she had more to her thought. She was tired of being treated like an idiot. Still, she decided to smirk and held her hands up in defeat.

“Well look at that, it seems I do have some thoughts in this walnut.” she snorted as the boy crossed his arms, trying to hear more insults.

“Also, I don't know if it’s occurred to you,” she leaned back in her chair, “ but I’m not enjoying you clumsily poking around my head either for weeks on end. So forgive me for trying to keep some things private.”

They indeed had been meeting for weeks now, after supper in Heimdall’s room. Only to migrate through different parts of the lodge when it got too loud for him to concentrate. The first few lessons had gone well, but the two thought this was merely due to Yn concentrating on a single thought for Heimdall to listen to. This obviously would not be the case when he had to find out information from people against their will, so the girl suggested they move on to Heimdall trying to read her free-roaming thoughts. This proved to be much more difficult and only seemed to get worse the more he strained to listen, instead being overflowed with noises and thoughts far from where they were. The girl also didn’t enjoy the next level of mind reading, flushing when Heimdall would point out thoughts she didn’t even know she had. It was all very invasive. 

“We are getting nowhere,” Heimdall growled under his breath, flopping back into his chair across from the girl. He sighed and looked up at her, arms crossed. “Why is it that I can hear you perfectly fine sometimes and the next, there is nothing but mumbling?” the girl relaxed her shoulders, sensing the boy’s frustration.

“Well,” she started, her hands folding over her raised leg, “I want to try to hide things in those moments. I don’t like having you up here,” she pointed to the space between her brows, “but if I focus on what I want you to hear, you seem to have an easier time with it.” Heimdall sighed, rubbing his face in frustration. 

“I need to be able to look at everything no matter if you want it hidden or not.” The girl frowned, not liking the idea of the boy with that kind of power. She sighed, however, remembering their agreement.

“Do you think you may be siking yourself out?” he just looked at her, a confused pull at his brows. She continued, standing up to pace as she spoke, “What I mean is, when it’s based on instinct like the first time we fought, or when you could hear me on the wall…it was like a survival instinct. You knew automatically what to do.”

“I guess,” he frowned, crossing his arms, “but it’s not completely quiet, it’s just a mess. Like thousands of people talking over each other. And I can’t tell what’s your thoughts, other’s thoughts, or outside actions. But when I concentrate I get closer to honing in on just your sounds.” the girl nodded in agreement, a hand on her chin as she stopped in front of the window, the afternoon breeze flowing through and the sunset light shining over the horizon, covered by the wall. She hummed as she got an idea, and because it was louder than the rest, Heimdall could catch wind of some of it. “What about the wall?” He asked, looking at her over the back of his chair. She smiled and turned to him, and his face fell as he heard the rest of the plan racing through his head.

“Oh, no. No no no. we are not going back out there. The All-Father is already suspicious.”

“We’ll go in the dead of night!” she said with an excited smile, getting closer to him.

“You’re crazy!”

“Does anything come out of your mouth except insults?” she huffed, hands on her hips.

“ For you?” he asked with a sarcastic smirk, “Never.” she ignored the boy, grabbing her things. 

“It’ll be an experiment.”

“I’m not an experiment.”

“Are you sure about that?”

He huffed. Though he couldn’t hear what she was thinking, he could tell her thoughts were running a mile a minute. And he didn’t like her tone.

“I’m not going.” he stood firm, and though he didn’t show it on his face, Yn had started to be able to tell when he was growing anxious. And right now, he stunk of nerves. The girl sighed, slowing her movements, and faced Heimdall. 

“Fine then. We don’t have to go,” she reassured him and felt the tension ease slightly. She smiled, “We’ll stop for today.”

He hated her ability to ease him. And that no matter how much he tried to control his emotions, he couldn’t resist the calm she gave him. He knew it was from her powers, and it terrified him. He should not be able to be so easily influenced. He reasoned to himself, that he was building a tolerance to her powers, and soon it wouldn’t work on him. She was just a stepping stone. That’s all this was.

With a wave of her hand, she was out of the room, spouting about how he could knock when he couldn’t sleep before shutting the door. Like he would ever in a million years, go crawling-

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

There Heimdall stood. Ridged in front of Yn’s door. Cold sweat beaded at his temple, and he held in sobs, biting his lip till it threatened to bleed. His hands gripped at the bottom of his shirt and he trembled in front of the girl’s door. He hated it. Hated waking up to the sound of phantoms in his head, endless mumblings rattling through his mind like an echoing hall. He hated not being able to quiet them, the power they had over him. He hated the fear that seeped into his bones from the sounds in his head, and the consequences of being caught for being unable to deal with them on his own.

But most of all, he hated that what he had found was finally able to quiet his mind was snoring softly on the other side of the door in front of him, without a care in the world. That he was supposed to be learning information on this girl, and nothing more. He was the god of foresight. A gift bestowed on him. And he was using this girl, a stranger, a possible enemy, to calm himself. And she let him. It all made his stomach twist in ways he didn’t know were possible. 

Still, despite how he wanted to run back to his room. Simply will the sounds to stop. To be able to understand the girl’s intentions and report them to the All-Father so she could finally be out of his hair. Despite all of it:

There he stood, trembling, willing his voice to whimper just a bit quieter. She left the door unlocked. She had started doing so so he wouldn’t have to knock and make extra noise. Her kindness frustrated him. He had never experienced anything like it before. He thought it must have meant she wanted something from him, and he would die before he gave it to her. 

Heimdall’s fist wrapped around the door handle, and he swallowed as he twisted, pushing the door open. Yn stirred, waking to the sound of her door opening. She rubbed her eyes and watched as the boy slowly walked in, shutting the door as quietly as possible behind him before collapsing to the floor, letting his sobs rasp out of him, biting his arm to stay quiet. Without a second thought, Yn’s voice filled the room with soft music, and she quickly got out of bed, her little feet padding over with a blanket in tow, falling to her knees in front of him and pulling his head to rest against hers. 

He hated how his chest already felt lighter. How warm she felt against his cold sweaty head. How she paid no mind to his heaving and trembling, ignoring what he knew she thought was a pathetic display. No matter how many times she would reassure him, he told himself he knew she looked down on him. It felt disgusting. And over everything else, he hated that she made him feel at peace. 

They stayed like that, a crumpled mess on the floor, as Yn’s voice thrummed through Heimdall’s chest and calmed his heartbeat, quieted his sobs, and ceased his trembling. Her hands rested on his shoulders, and when she felt them start to still, she pulled away, the song still chiming from her mind into his. She took the boy's hands, easing him to stand, and brought him to her bed.

“Here, sit down, okay?” She sat on the bed, her back against the wall, and pulled him to the spot next to her. He was too weak to protest, leaning his head back against the wall once he was sat, and just took in the song and silence. No matter how many times he came to the girl’s room, the relief he felt was still overwhelming in its own way. They stayed like that for a while, just like they do every night he came to her room. Sometimes she would read, her voice soothing him back to sleep. Sometimes she talked about what she learned with Mimir, not expecting any answer as Heimdall let her silly little thoughts be the only mumbling he could hear. But for some reason, tonight, as she spoke just above a whisper for him, trailing off about her home and how she would crawl up into the trees to sleep there when she had a nightmare, he responded.

“Why did you crawl into the trees?” He asked, his voice raspy for strangling down his tears. He felt Yn stiffen for a moment, then shift to look at him. He didn’t look back, leaving her to sit in his question for a moment before she smiled, looking away from him again.

“Because I was afraid of getting eaten. Do you know what a drekki is?” Heimdall barely nodded, peering to look at her. 

“Big lizard… lots of teeth…”

 “Well,” she started, “I had this nightmare all the time, of a drekki swallowing me up while I slept, and staying alive in its belly.” 

“That’s disgusting” Heimdall’s nose crinkled, feeling a shiver go down his spine. The girl giggled and nodded in agreement.

“I know. So I would sleep in the trees and tell myself an aching back was better than living in a drekki. Even here, I still get nightmares sometimes, and I want to sleep on the roof!” she smiled sheepishly, and Heimdall felt a small lopsided smirk pull at the side of his cheek despite his best efforts. Perhaps worst of all, he found himself caring less and less. Letting himself continue to ask questions, and even started to answer some of hers.

“Why do you not tell anyone about this?” She spoke softly, turning to look at him.

“Because I’m a god,” He didn’t hesitate at the question, answering as though it were simply a fact of life. “I am the Scion of the Aesir, given the gift of foresight by the All-Father.” a look of pride shined in his pink eyes, but it soon left as he looked at the clock ticking on Yn’s bedside table. “... If I cannot handle this gift,... I am unworthy. I am a failure.” he turned to look at the girl desperately. “ no one can know. You especially. You make me weak.”

“Resting is not weakness.” Heimdall frowned, shaking his head at her.

“I’m meant to be a soldier.”

“You’re a kid, Heimdall. We both are.”

He snorted, turning away from her.

“You don’t get it.” he mumbled, “you don’t have a home to protect, or a family to make proud.” 

There was silence, the music had stopped, and Heimdall heard the rising speed and weight of the girl’s heart pounding against her ribs. He turned to her again, seeing her face contort, her breathing got uneven and she curled a bit into herself. Despite this, however, she turned at Heimdall, a sad smile tugging at her cheeks. 

“That was pretty messed up, Weasel.” her voice cracked slightly, and she turned to look away, stifling a sniffle and whipping a tear from under her eye. Heimdall felt an ache twist in his chest. He felt guilty, without her powers to influence her. 

“I’m sorry,” he spoke without thinking. She scoffed.

“No, it’s fine. But so were are both clear, I did have a home, and a family” Her voice grew cold and it made the boy want to shiver like she breathed ice in his face. “I watched it all burn to the ground.” her voice didn’t waver, but her hands shook. “And then I picked up the pieces and made myself something I could live with. Now I’m here. Away from everything I know and no one in Vanaheim will even mourn me. Because everyone who knew me is dead.” her voice rattled like dice at the end, and she stifled a sob, turning away from him. 

 “ I didn’t-” his voice was faster than his thoughts, “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I was just-” he tripped over his tongue, “ I didn’t mean to hurt you, I am sorry.” his own voice was weak and he was unsure why, “ I just-” he breathed out, “I hate it.”

She turned to look at him, tears silently trickling down her face. It was only fair he comforted her in return. That’s what he told himself as he dabbed them away with his sleeve.

“You hate what?” she asked in a cracked whisper, not pulling away from him. He swallowed before admitting for the first time both aloud and to himself:

“I hate the weight of it…I wish I was alone…I wish,” his voice trailed off. And though he didn’t finish his thought, Yn somehow knew what he meant, and sighed, sniffling quietly. He swallowed, looking down at his knees, “I didn’t know that’s what happened…”

“ No, you don’t…” she mumbled, shaking her head. “ because being alone for years is not worth the peace of solitude. I promise it’s not.” she glared at him weakly, “and maybe you should have read a little deeper before trying to use my past as ammunition.” Heimdall frowned, placing a careful hand on the girl’s shoulder. 

“I really am sorry…” He spoke, fully aware of his words this time. Yn sniffled and looked at him for a moment before she smiled, weakly.

“I’ll think about accepting it. You sound honest enough.” she teased and he couldn’t stop his smile. “Hey,” she nudged him, “you’re being nice. Without me.” she shrugged, “Sort of.” he chuckled slightly and nodded.

“ I guess I want to be a little bit nicer to you…” he shrugged back, “sort of.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

[gallawitchxx]

weekly tag wednesday thursday!

oooh baby, look at all the hotties that tagged me to play yesterday: @darlingian @creepkinginc @suzy-queued @metalheadmickey @too-schoolforcool @lingy910y @crossmydna @sgtmickeyslaughter @iansw0rld @juliakayyy @thisdivorce & @energievie !!!! THANKS HOTTIES! how fun!

how is your day going?: so far so good! i honestly laid in bed for hours this morning - much longer than i intended to. but i think that's fine!

are you okay?: life has been super whumpy lately & i haven't been riding the waves all that gracefully. but yeah, i'm okay! this too shall pass.

what is your favourite shade of your favourite colour?: i don't really have a favorite color, but i love turquoise that's more blue than green.

are you single?: i am Very Married!

are you happy about that?: yeah! my wife's the best! we have our shit, like all couples do, but i wouldn't be who or where i am today without her. i'm very lucky.

what age do you feel in your brain?: oooh... 970?

do you feel like the good times are behind you or ahead of you?: both! past, present & future good times for me, bayybeee!

do you have a best friend?: many! but in the traditional sense, yes. i have two besties who i've known since childhood & it's a blessed miracle that we're still loving up on each other after all of these years.

did you have a childhood pet?: i had fish & a couple of cats!

do you sing or whistle around the house?: oh, i was literally just singing take me or leave me from rent (both parts thank you very much) while doing the dishes! so yes! my wife & i also are constantly making up dumb songs lolol.

do you light candles or incense?: yes yes both! more candles now, but incense when we used to *gasp* smoke weed inside hahahalksgjsl. but now we're strictly backyard stoners, so the candles work just fine. plus, i have tons of witchy candles too that i'm always working with for spells & such.

are you busy Friday night?: no? lol. what day is it? we have some weekend plans, so a friday night in sounds grand!

if you were a circus performer which act would you be in?: probably a fortune teller (typecast), but i think in another life, i'd want to be a trapeze artist & swing from the rafters!

what is your favourite outfit?: oooh this one's easy! a white mock turtleneck, my black Wildfang overalls, and sneakers!

what's the last thing you created?: i'm working on a writing project for work & still attempting my end of the Having a Ball collab with @callivich (hi calli, ily calli, thank you for your patience calli), but i suppose the last thing i created was this art of mickey's booty.

what is your favourite fic or book of all time?: it might need an update, but my forever favorite book is a tale of two cities by charles dickens. my favorite fic? shit that's hard. eerrrrmmmm - i truly cannot answer this, sorry lolol.

what are you looking forward to?: by this time next month (plus a few days), i'll have hugged all of my favorite people! HOW EXCITING FOR ME!

what can put you immediately in a better mood?: a movie night with the pals! a play sesh with my pup! a smoocherooooo.

do you like hugs?: love 'em! c'mere! let me squeeze you round the middle & bury my nose in your neck!

what is something you wish people understood about you?: oooh. um, i think that because i'm pretty positive all the time, people don't think to check in on me & see if i'm doing ok? this isn't a plea by any means lol - i'm good! - but it takes a lot of effort to keep a good attitude when the world can be so harsh. also! i'm a witch! don't mess with me! *wink*

tagging @heymrspatel @howlinchickhowl @whatwouldmickeydo @whatthebodygraspsnot @milk-o-bitch & @squidyyy23 - who may not ever see this, but who i almost put down for favorite fic! (i'm DAD's #1 stan!) & who i miss every day of my life! if you don't want to play, that's cool! imagine we're laying together in a field of green, looking up at a clear, sunny sky. ily.

[thegloweringcastle]

First off, I want to give the BIGGEST thank you to @azrielshadowssing for organizing this lovely event! Truly, I cannot thank her enough for her patience and kindness. This is my first time participating and I have so thoroughly enjoyed it!

This is also my first time writing nessian, so I apologize in advance if they are somewhat out of character. If you see any typos, no you didn't.

Summary: After agreeing to do a favor for her youngest sister, Nesta and Cassian reconnect after three years of no contact. Will this roadtrip be enough to salvage the ragged threads of their history, or will they return to be being complete strangers when all is said and done?

Warnings: None

Part 2 | Part 3

~2.2k words

...

The road ahead was gilded in sunlight, rays filtered down through the towering trees. The air was hot but the view was magnificent. It was an absolutely gorgeous day, and Nesta had never been more miserable.

If Cassian spat one more sunflower seed shell out the window, Nesta was going to pull her car over and make him walk the next few hundred miles. Her car, a Cadillac CTS Sport Wagon in Opulent Metallic Blue with a custom expanded panorama sunroof, was her pride and joy and Nesta would be damned if the unsophisticated ass got spit and other crap all over it.

She said as much.

“Aww, c’mon Nes. Your car is fine, I’m not spitting inside, am I? Sunflower seeds are a staple snack; we can’t have our epic summer road trip without them.”

She took a deep, cleansing breath. “We are hurtling down the freeway at eighty miles an hour. Every time you open and close that window my ears pop and the air conditioning escapes, and it’s too damn hot out for that.” The steering wheel creaked under her iron grip. “I am doing Feyre a very, very generous favor in driving you, but I will not hesitate to kick you out. I don’t give a rat's ass about an ‘epic summer road trip’.” 

“Ouch. Those are some harsh words, Nesta.” He slumped back in his seat, resealing the plastic baggie of snacks. “If you kick me out and make me hitch-hike, it will be your fault when I get snatched.”

“It will be my fault either way,” she grumbled. “At least I know how to hide evidence.” 

He grinned. “What was that, Nes?”

It was all she could do to reign in her snarl. “My car, my rules. Tread carefully, you brute. I didn’t even want to drive you in the first place.”

If things between her and Feyre hadn’t been going so well, Nesta really wouldn’t have gone along with the plan. He was the one who ruined his bike, he was the one that could suffer the consequences; he could get his own sorry ass down south to Feyre & Rhys’s wedding, or, better yet, not attend at all.

“It’s good to see you too, Nes.” He winked at her, before slipping on a pair of headphones and finally leaving Nesta to her precious, blissful silence.

***

“Wake up,” Nesta slammed her car door shut behind her, but Cassian didn’t even budge. She went around to open the passenger door, pulling the headphones from his ears and startling him awake. “Wake up, we’re here.” Nesta wouldn’t be surprised if he had been sleeping to the sound of people shouting and smashing guitars against the ground.

He swiped one hand down his face, clambering out and jogging to catch up with Nesta even as sleep still pulled at his eyes.

“Hey Nes, tomorrow–”

“Nesta.” She said, not even looking over at him. “It’s Nesta, not Nes.”

“You never minded when we were together-”

She sighed, turning and placing her hands on her hips. “Well we’re not together now, are we?”

“I mean…” He trailed off, looked between them, looked back at her. “We are, technically, currently together.”

She huffed and kept walking towards the motel. “If you don’t want me to leave you behind tomorrow morning then I recommend you not be a smartass.” Nesta reached for the handle to the front office, pausing and looking over her shoulder to Cassian. “I’ll get the room keys, you take care of the luggage. I will see you at five in the morning. If you’re even one minute late, you’re stuck here.” And with that, she stepped out of the heat and into the cool front office, leaving Cassian to haul their baggage to the rooms.

The next morning he was thirty minutes early, greeting Nesta with a shit-eating grin as she emerged from her motel room a quarter past five.

***

Nesta was meticulous in unfolding and refolding the map. Always careful to not tear the creases, always careful to make the folds line up, always careful to not crinkle the paper. If Cassian drove how she navigated, she would not be so worried about her precious Cadillac. As it was, Nesta was preparing to hold a memorial service for her beloved car by the time they made it to the venue, if they ever did.

She gestured with one perfectly manicured hand to the roaring motorway ahead of them. “To get onto the next highway you’ll want to turn at this intersection right up here.” 

He tugged his headphones - again with the stupid headphones - to hang around his neck. “Huh?” They whizzed past the turn. 

“Hey, whoa, where are you going? Pull a u-turn, that’s where we needed to be.” He put the pedal to the metal; the pitstop town was fading in the distance, fast. “If you hadn’t had your music blasting your brains out you would have heard me the first time.”

He shrugged, mouth twitching. “Mmmm… I know a detour. There’s less traffic and it’s much prettier. It’s the one we took when we came here a few summers ago, and it was just fine then.”

Nesta was sorely regretting her decision to trade places with Cassian after their pitstop for coffee and breakfast, but her leg was too cramped and her foot was too numb for her to officially be the safer option.

She shut her eyes, doing her best to keep her voice even. “Cassian, we’re practically in the middle of nowhere. It would be easier to just go back and turn there - don’t you remember how twisty this road is? It goes all along the coast.”

“That’s exactly the point.” He stared straight ahead, stoic and unmoving. When 

She sighed, crinkling the map as her hands turned to fists. ”Oh please, you could at least try to not be an obnoxious bastard for the whole trip-”

He cut her off, his voice rising. “See, but that’s the thing, Nesta, you’re the one being difficult. We’ve been on the road for three days now and so far I would say I’ve tried pretty damn hard to not get on your nerves. Yeah, I know I have annoying habits, and yeah, I know it’s been a while and we’re not used to each other anymore.” Now he was really shouting. “But by the Mother, you could work on having some human decency too.” 

He braked hard and turned into a ‘scenic overlook’, which was really just a parking lot at the edge of a rocky beach. Silence hung between them thick like fog, the soft click of the turn indicator echoing through it. Cassian backed into a spot, diligently checking the mirrors. He still refused to use the backup camera.

“Come sit with me. Please.” He got out without a second glance, opening the hatch and rearranging the junk they stowed in the back.

Nesta stood, the muggy morning causing her clothes to cling to her skin. The tide may have been far out, but thick clouds of fog lingered close to the mainland, shrouding their view of the horizon. Cassian handed her a blanket and waited for her to get comfortable in the trunk before taking his place beside her. The car dipped under his weight, and for a moment Nesta missed feeling that sturdiness. She eyed his muscled shoulders and broad hands, let her eyes creep to his torso, then lower… She snapped her gaze to the ocean where waves crashed into rocks and birds circled above and fog began to dissipate. They were totally and utterly alone, which made it all the more jarring when Cassian began to speak.

“For two and a half years, Nesta, I had no idea where you were. Things were going so well, and then all of a sudden, ‘things’ were completely nonexistent. And I couldn’t reach you.” He looked at her then, and Nesta saw the hollow loneliness in his hazel eyes.

That just wasn’t fair. “I gave you warning, Cassian.” Her voice was strong, but it lacked her usual edges and angles. “I told you I had to help my sister. Feyre was so… It was so bad, Cass. You wouldn’t have even recognized her as the girl you knew in high school.” Her voice, now soft, quickly returned to hard ice and sharp steel. “I needed to take care of her; I told you as much. I have no idea why you were so shocked.”

He engaged the rocky shore in a staring contest, mulling over her words. “I understood she needed you. But I didn’t understand why you had fallen off the face of the earth. I couldn’t contact you at the law firm you worked at, you disappeared from all social media, your phone number was disabled.” He smacked his palm to his forehead, eyes going wide as he stared at the ground. “Hell, I even wrote letters that were returned to me within the week I mailed them.” Cassian heaved a sigh, the blanket he had draped around his shoulder slipping off. Nesta fought hard to not readjust it.

It was just the guilt. She was just tired from driving for so long. She didn’t actually care. So what if she was unreachable? It was her choice. It didn’t matter anymore. It was so long ago.

“And so I’m sure you can imagine my surprise,” He continued. “When I heard from Morrigan - Morrigan, Rhys’s cousin, the one you despise - that Feyre and Rhys had just begun dating, and that you had started your own wildly successful law firm.”

Now he looked back at Nesta and caught her staring. She couldn’t bring herself to look away.

“I went for another year after that hoping to find you, Nesta. I hoped to every deity that I don’t even believe in for you to come back into my life. I didn’t think it would even be that unlikely, what with your sister dating my best friend. But it took them getting married, and your sister forcing your hand, for me to see you again. And even still, I don’t have an explanation. I don’t know if I did something wrong or if… I don’t even know.” He huffed a laugh, weak and humorless. “But in all honesty, Nes, I thought we were worth more than that.” And then, quietly, “I kind of hoped I was worth more than that.” 

He leaned back, keeping his gaze locked with hers and gripping the blanket edge in two fists. “Now it’s your turn. I’m not leaving until you say something, anything, about what happened or why or how or whatever.”

“You can’t do that, Cassian. We have a schedule to stick to. We can talk about this later.”

He shook his head. “No can do, Nes. I’ve been waiting three and a half years –”

“Exactly,” She stood, refolding her blanket and tossing it back into the trunk. “You’ve waited that long, another few hours won’t kill you.” She put her hand out, palm up, and made a grabbing motion. “Now give me the keys. I’ll drive the rest of today.”

He stood, rising to his full height. “No, Nesta. I do not want to go anywhere with you until I have something, even just an inkling of an understanding.” Because you hurt me. 

He didn’t need to say it, Nesta saw it in his expression. She pretended she didn’t.

“You can’t keep me here against my will,” She swiped for the fob, missing when he brought it up above her head.

“I will swallow the key if I need to. Do not test me, Nesta.”

“You disgusting brute, just give me the key-” 

He opened his mouth wide. 

“You will choke yourself! You’re absolutely insane! By the mother,” Nesta gripped her hair, clawing at it as if she wanted to rip it out. “This is why I left! This is why I don't want to have anything to do with you! Because you’re a mess! You’re a child! You are literally a man child.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Ah, see? Now we’re getting somewhere.” He resumed his seat in the trunk, keeping the car fob in a tight fist. “Please, continue, Nesta.”

She could feel her cheeks growing red, she knew there would be crescent indents on her palm from clenching her fists. Honestly, it was amazing her jaw didn’t snap under pressure. If she could tackle him - which wouldn’t be difficult, what with her body fueled by coffee, anger, and adrenaline - she could steal back the key and ditch his sorry ass.

She made a show of giving in; hanging her head, unfolding and shaking out the blanket, and grumbling under her breath. And just when Cassian fell for it, Nesta lunged.

Everything happened so fast that she barely saw it. Cassian leapt from the trunk, Nesta pulled him to the ground, they wrestled in the sand, rocks and driftwood, and the key went flying, lost to the void of damp, gray rocks.

Nesta stared with wide eyes where she had last seen it before slowly looking back to Cassian, who now was frozen beneath her. In any other situation Nesta would be thrilled by the fear in his eyes, but rage clouded her mind; she wanted to shake him until his head rolled off. Her voice was feral as the next words tore free from her throat.

“You. Idiot.”

[ryuichirou]

Hi! You guys have converted me to the Kalijami ship. Your headcannons have been great and I've been enjoying them a lot. I'm glad you agree with shipping bottom!Jamil with Kalim. Most fics have it the other way around which is fine but I mostly want content with the opposite. Thank you for the food 🤭👍

I kinda wanna hear your headcannons for Time travel!Kalijami. Lately I've been reading those villainess mahnwa where they re-do their life. I think Jamil would probably regret how he went about separating himself Kalim. He literally tried to kill him, granted he was overblotting. Point is I think he'd regret taking his frustration on the Master-Servant system on Kalim. So when he gets the chance to repeat it, he takes it and makes some changes.

Plot twist: The butterfly effect proceeds to kick him in the metaphorical ass. He ends up raising/turning Kalim into a yandere for him. I think I want a more villainous take on Kalim cause I think he has the potential. This boy DID end up in NRC, papa Asim's generous donation was just a bonus. You don't have to make major changes to his personality which could make this even creepier in Jamil's perspective once he realizes. I think you can also show a more competent side to Kalim here cause I think that would be one of the first things Jamil changes. He would encourage Kalim to be more independent and sly in getting what he wants when being nice doesn't work. This new approach will backfire on Jamil hard 😉

It would be even better if Jamil doesn't realize the web Kalim has been spinning around him. It could start small, Kalim could start lowkey convincing people that the idea of Kalijami wouldn't be so bad. I think people would enjoy the forbidden romance aspect and its just like the fairytales. For Kalim's parents, he could emphasize to them how loyal and devoted Jamil is. If the subject of children come up, he can just handwave it- surrogacy or magic as a solution.

I'd like to hear your ideas on the idea. If you have any NSFW! headcannons for this too, I ain't gonna complain 🤫

Anon! Sorry for such a late reply. I feel like it’s already a given that it takes me ages to reply, but I still want to stress that I appreciate your patience and all the asks we receive.

I am very happy you like our KaliJami content and especially like bottom!Jamil lol, their dynamic is very nice like that, it works well with their power dynamic and unusual relationship. So it’s great that we could post something that you enjoy and don’t get to see often, even though we ourselves don’t post KaliJami often…

I like how well you’ve thought your idea through lol, you clearly have a vision and a story, so I wouldn’t really want to influence it with our own interpretation of the ship. Despite our love for yandere!Kalim and darker themes related to him, I guess we still tend to write him with some naiveté. Like, he isn’t totally stupid of course and he is charismatic and sometimes uses his charisma in surprisingly impressive ways, but I don’t really see Kalim as cunning, even if Jamil influences him and teaches him things. It’s not impossible to write this type of story believably, but I guess I personally have a bit of a hard time imagining it because of how we view Kalim and his inner darkness. I guess we tend to make him blunt, stubborn and spoiled, and boy oh boy how spoiled he would be if Jamil never lashed out on him and never told him about how he felt…

I’ll share a couple of thoughts, but then again, it could really differ from what you wanted to read. Sorry in advance for that.

If Jamil does this thing, he would really get a whiplash because of the butterfly effect. First of all, he would get surprised by just how much his relationship with Kalim has changed: now Kalim basically expects him to have sex with him for some reason. Are they together? When did the line dividing them disappear? And why is Kalim so pushy? (And Kalim, being even more spoiled that he already is, is super pushy)

Kalim could definitely find a way to make his family accept the fact that he and Jamil are together, so Jamil would suddenly enter the world in which everyone thinks they are a couple, even though he himself never agreed to it. It feels almost sinister, as if Kalim is doing it maliciously, which is a huge contrast to the way Kalim talks about this: being his usual sunny self. He decided for both of them, and he doesn’t listen to anything Jamil has to say. All of the arguments against their relationship that Jamil had (their status, future children, all this) are already invalid: Kalim destroyed them with his surprisingly sound and mature sounding reasoning. But Jamil just couldn’t shake off the feeling that behind this maturity and understanding hides a spoiled kid is too used to getting anything he wants and just doesn’t even register the fact that Jamil isn’t sure about this… and it’s not like he can say something about it now that everyone is congratulating and hugging them.

Ahem, well, that’s all I can. Once again, thank you for sharing and sorry for the disappointing reply, but I hope you had some fun reading it anyway.

[yaskie]

Another surgery, more Chemo

Dear Friends, I got most of my results today. And I got bad days sometimes. It's been how many months eversince I went home after a year of being in and out of HP, and been into ICU. I am in need of another surgery again to remove water in my lungs as it re-occurs almost monthly because of pleural effusion, infection. Which requires medical attention. I have this occurring condition because of my Treatments,  and tumors are occurring all over my body and some of them are malignant which requires so much attention. My illness was earlier detected and in lower stages, and can be cured(I am praying always) to not advance, but it will take time as to how my body reacts. My lungs has a very bad history last 2018, and lately they have found something on my breast that needs further checking as well. My breasts hurts a lot. Unfortunately, the cost of the surgery and the mounting hospital bills that have piled up from my past hospitalization(2021-2022), have become an overwhelming burden for me, my friends and my family. We are also still grieving at the untimely passing of my niece 3 weeks ago. They have already exhausted their savings and are struggling to make ends meet. And also I've been a breadwinner of my Family for a very long time. They depend on me financially.  Weekly Treatments are costly for me too as well. As we have a very bad healthcare system where I live.  And despite having a job, it only pays me $250/monthly which is not enough, because I am renting an apartment. And have a caregiver to check on my welfare, as I have difficulties in movement and series of bad episodes. I am also taking care of my cats and dog,

I am also most of the time in an oxygen so that it will ease my breathing problems. I have bad days, but I am trying my best to ease the pain and smile everyday.💖💝 I am really ashamed to ask help once again, as you all know I made my Etsy store several months ago to help with my expenses, but Etsy permanently suspend it without any proper explanation, despite my appeal. The Laptop which I also use for designing is no longer working, and I need to redesign again to sell, to support my Treatment. I humbly ask for your support once again. As I need to have the procedure to be scheduled next week 24th of May. Update as of June: I am already home but unfortunately my bills have piled up again, and signed a promissory letter.

Please share this post, spread the word, this will help me a lot. Every contribution, no matter how small, will make a significant impact to me.

I am also starting to make an artwork to sell here on Ko-Fi once my procedure is finish. I might stay in HP for 4-5 days. Thank you so much for all the help! And I love you all!

For Donations $149 and above. If you wish to donate more than that please send them into parts(Ex.$300 = $100,$100,$50,$50), because Paypal will hold them usually for 10 working days. Thank you so much for understanding.

For Donors, you can send to me your screenshot of the amount that you have donated here: estiellearts@gmail.com and I will make a small gift for you, a digital art of dog or cat of your liking. Or if you have a tumblr please message me, and I will tag you of the art. It will take time for me to make them, and I ask for your patience about this matter. Thank you so much!

Sorry for tagging you all guys again, if you could tag any fundraising blogs and your friends here on Tumblr please do so. it will help boost my campaign. You can also share my link to your Social Media accounts, and if you can share this outside of tumblr. It will b a great help to me. @leonshin99 @shotce @thelovelywarriorsheart @sparkie96 @c1a1r3r3df1e1d @silvertonguelover @measurelessdreamer @fossil-finder @vietnoodle @irishspringyum @kevinbuiyin I am a Chreon and Geraskier fan as well. I have a small discord group and I appreciate for you to join if you can. It will be lovely to have more friends. DISCORD GROUP