#also someone to pay his medical bills i fear

[heartbarisi]

i’m cooking in my word document rn guys you have no idea

[vidjauser-player-206]

Dae-ho x Pregnant F!Reader

Pairing: Dae-ho x F!Pregnant reader

Triggers: Squid game typical violence and death, brief mention of trafficking, mention of abusive baby daddy, Dae-ho is NOT the father, cursing

Tags: Pregnancy, fluff, 2 endings, 1 angsty ending, 1 good ending

Words: 3.2k

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BlueSky

I have a couple more chapters planned for this, and two endings. Possibly some bonus smut after this is all finished? : ) I've been on such a hype for this fella. I love him so much.

Also happy Valentines everyone!

CHAPTER ONE

The two of you met in the games. You were approximately 8 months pregnant, so close to popping out your child, but not quite there yet. The only reason you were in these stupid games was because you were desperate. Your baby daddy ran off shortly after you had told him about the baby, around your second month of pregnancy. You weren’t too surprised, however, what did surprise you was the fact that his loan sharks started lurking around your place. You had guessed that he had gone fully into hiding, and they sought out the first person they knew he was close to. 

One of the loan sharks had pressed you against the wall, threatening to do awful things to you if you didn’t get the money by the end of the month. He stared at your belly greedily as he said it. 

After that, you feared what would truly happen when the end of the month came. You weren’t sure how you were going to afford to pay such a big debt, but also your rent and impending bills that would come with all the baby related medical appointments you needed…

You knew your baby was a girl, and you feared the worst would happen once they found that out. 

Despite not knowing what you would be getting yourself into, you still found yourself playing Ddakji in the subway station on your way to a doctor’s appointment, which you ended up skipping after getting slapped a few times by the Recruiter, who wasn’t light on the slaps despite your obvious predicament weighing your stomach down. That card you held in your hands felt like your own hope and savior, so you had called and confirmed your information. 

Being drugged in the limo was scary, and what was even scarier was the fact that you woke up in a room of what felt like a thousand people, now in different clothing. Which meant that someone undressed you. This wasn’t where you thought you would wind up. The room only had bunk beds stretched nearly to the ceiling. You never thought that they could go that high. The walls were mostly blank, other than some childlike paintings. It reminded you of a pediatric waiting room but the doctors had forgotten the colorful paint, scaring the children⁠—and you⁠—rather than making them feel welcomed. You could almost smell the foul stench of bleached floors, making your nose crinkle as you got out of your bunk. At least the person who changed you had the decency to put you on a lower bunk. 

You avoided the people who emerged from the bunks, though when you met the eyes of a couple of them, they always fell down to your stomach with a surprised expression. 

You ignored them and proceeded through a big door to a wacky set of stairways that came straight out of a surreal painting, took your photo, and ended up on a field of sand. Once again, you felt like a kid, though rather out on the playing field, ready to play sports in Physical Education. The first game was…Red Light, Green Light? That threw you off. This felt too weird to believe that you were just playing kid’s games for money…What was the catch? 

It would be a whole lot worse than you thought, and your survival was only thanks to Player 388. The number burned in the back of your mind, becoming your lucky number at that moment. 

After the first gunshot and once everyone scattered⁠—being promptly shot once they moved even an inch⁠—Player 456 called for shorter players to get behind taller ones, claiming that the robot couldn’t see things behind the players. 

“Green light!”

The man in front of you turned and grabbed you by your shoulders. 

“What the hell⁠—” You cried and slammed your fists against his shoulders, afraid he was going to pull you in front of him and use you as some sort of human shield. 

“Get behind me.” He says firmly. 

Instead, his strong arms yanked you behind him, and you got a faceful of that number you would never forget. 388. He kept one hand behind him so he could keep his hands on you while the two of you ran. You kept his shirt balled in your fist but let go when you two stopped, fearing you might knock him over. 

“Red light!”

There were only a couple of gunshots. 

With each gunshot, Player 388 trembled, and you could feel through his grip that it was hard for him to sit still when he heard the gunshots. You couldn’t blame him though, you were trembling too. The two of you remained brave, especially him— for not only carrying himself, but you and your baby too. 

You couldn’t help but admire him from behind. A hero…your hero.

In the beginning, everyone only had five minutes to make it across the finish line, now it was down to one. You swore that you weren’t going to make it. Player 388 should have left you there,but he didn’t. 

There was cramping everywhere in your abdomen and below. Your baby was protesting against all the new movements you had avoided throughout your pregnancy. You pleaded quietly for her to stop kicking your bladder. 

“Green light!”

Everyone moved forward again. 

Soon, close to the finish line, a few players behind you lurched forward after tripping, knocking you in the same direction. Player 388 dug his heels into the ground, and it was like running straight into a stone wall. Your body and stomach were pressed right into him, almost intimately. 

“Red light!” The robot’s head spun around, eyes scanning furiously. 

The players who had knocked into you all stood right as the robot’s head moved. They weren’t so lucky, and you heard the gunshots. Thank God you were behind Player 388 because your head naturally creaked to the side as you peered at the bodies that had thumped behind you. You regretted looking immediately. You realized you moved and waited for another gunshot. Though, it never came. 

After what felt like their final minute was up, the robot’s head spun back toward the tree. “Green light!” 

“Come on!” Player 388 spun around, and for a second you saw his face. You could barely register it though, unable to process details in the heat of the moment. All you knew was that he was handsome and sweaty. 

Player 388 grabbed your elbow and you grabbed another handful of his shirt, the two of you booking it. 

Running across the finish line felt like you were running in slow motion, but you felt a wave of relief when you did. You were safe. You were alive. You and your baby made it. 

Your feet caught and tangled on the man’s and the two of you went down, though your fall was cushioned by his body. It didn’t stop the twinge of pain in your abdomen, however, and you feared that the fall might be the thing that does you in, until your mind focused back onto the playing field. 

Other players either made it across the finish lines themselves or they were promptly shot and killed. Your eyes were glued on the merciless scene, and your own pains were momentarily forgotten, until you broke yourself out of the spell. 

You looked down to your body and Player 388’s, tangled together on the ground. His hand was still on your elbow, and only in that second did he lighten his grip. There might be a bruise later on, but you didn’t care. He saved your life.. 

You looked at his face. His mouth was slightly agape, giving a far-off expression, like he wasn’t there anymore. His dark hair was swept back in a sweaty ponytail but strands of his hair were falling on his forehead. You had to resist the urge to reach up and brush it out of his face. You didn’t want to spook him so you kept your hands to yourself. 

There was one last gunshot, and you saw his face flinch, taking him out of his far-away expression and he met your eyes with his dark ones. 

His grip on your arm tightens. “Are you okay?” He asks softly, his eyes casting down to your stomach for only a second. His hand moved to rest on your upper arm. “Are you both okay?”

You cradle your belly and quickly nod. “Yes, thank you. You really saved my ass out there. I thought it was all a game, until…” You couldn’t say it out loud. Instead, you brought your hand to your mouth, fighting choked up tears. Everything was catching up to you, making you feel overwhelmed. You were sure he was feeling the same way. 

His fingers cupped the back of your neck, tugging you forward. You lean your forehead against his shoulder, and he moves his hand to your trembling shoulders to comfort you. You stayed there momentarily but finally pulled back to look at his face, to take in him fully. You were drawn to the sharp yet somehow soft lines of his face. His hair was dark and so were his eyes as they bore down into your soul, almost touching you in your heart in a way no one else’s had before. You were used to expressions of fury, or the scrunched up eyebrows of someone who was screaming at you. This face was different. It brought you comfort when you most needed it. 

You continued, forcing yourself to snap out of the trance this man had you under, “You could have left me out there when that man said for everyone to get into lines. You didn’t have to risk your life for mine.” Yet he did.

“What kind of man, let alone Marine, would I be if I left a mother and her unborn baby out in danger? A piece of shit…That’s the kind of man I would be. Here, let me help you up.”

Player 388 had to untangle your bodies before he could stand. He helped you up by pulling you up by your forearms, then stabilized you when you faltered.

You were about to thank him when the guards led everyone back to the exit. A lot of the other players didn’t hesitate and listened immediately, rushing for the exit. Player 388 wrapped an arm around your waist, hand resting against the edge of your pregnant belly. “Let’s go. I have a feeling we shouldn’t piss these guys off.”

“Yeah…They’re the ones with the guns.”

“Agreed.” He nods his head firmly. 

For once, you didn’t mind that a man’s hands were pulling you somewhere. You just wanted out of that damn arena more than anything. It was a bit awkward once you got to the stairs, so he moved behind you to help you up. Still…you had no complaints for now. You weren’t sure if you had enough mental or physical energy to support yourself at this point. You kept your hand on the edge of the stairs and the other on your stomach, pushing yourself beyond today.

“I think we’re close to the dormitory now, then you can rest.” Player 388 said close to your ear. 

“Thank god,” you said gratefully. 

You would have jumped for joy when you saw those big doors if you didn’t have a whole ass baby in your stomach.

“I’m never taking a bed for granted again…” You sighed. 

“You and me both, let’s get you sitting down…” Player 388 walked with you back to the bunks stairs. 

Looking around the room, you couldn’t be sure of the exact number, but you could tell that the crowd was thinned out by at least a hundred or so. Now, you felt like your swollen belly stuck out like a sore thumb. 

The entire atmosphere of the dormitory completely changed, it was worse than a hospital, you felt like you were in a prison. 

Player 388 interrupted your thoughts, “Do you want to stick with me?” He asked softly, “I think the more people we have, the better off we’re going to be…” He looked down at your stomach. He didn’t have to say it out loud, but you knew he was thinking about saying something about protecting the baby. 

As the two of you walked to the bed, you noticed how his arm felt large around your shoulders, he definitely had a lot of muscles. The pair of you looked like a couple, really. The way he was clinging to you probably gave others the impression that he put the baby in you. You didn’t know the man that well, but if he really was as sweet as he was acting right now, then you wouldn’t have let him become your ex. If you were one of the other players staring at you two, you would have thought, what kind of stupid man lets his wife join these games and what kind of stupid bitch would you be to put yourself in that situation too?

Wait, why were you even thinking of this?

Player 388 stared at you, expecting an answer but not rushing to get it out of you.

“...Yes.” You nod. “But I think I need to know your name first.”

The man nods in agreement. “Let’s get you seated first.”

You were touched he was so thoughtful about you and your baby’s wellbeing. 

Bringing you over to the lower bunk’s stairway, the man helped you waddle over and then sit. He shifts, sitting down on your left, his legs slightly apart as he sits. You knew that soon, all the pain and discomfort would catch up to you. For now, you savored the man’s sweet smiles. The sweetest one you had ever seen, especially from a man. 

“What’s your name?” You reminded him. 

Player 388 put a hand over his chest, giving his head a small bow. “I’m Kang Dae-ho.” He raises his hands and puts his fingers out in an exaggerated way, like he was a cat showing its claws. He directs it towards your belly, like he was giving the baby a little game of charades. Your stomach fluttered. 

No wait, that was the baby kicking. 

Gasping, you had to lean back and hold your stomach for a second. 

Dae-ho’s face fell and he looked down to your belly in concern, his hand coming out to touch it but letting it hover instead. “Are you okay⁠—?”

You nod, releasing a strained gasp. “Yeah…She just kicked me in the ribs.” You take his hovering hand and pressed it to your stomach, watching as his eyes widen even more. 

Dae-ho’s eyes lingered on your belly before lifting up to meet your eyes. His hand rubbed your belly up and down, feeling the small kicks against his palm. “You’re having a baby girl…? What’s her name?”

You smiled bashfully. “She doesn’t have a name yet. I figured it would come to me once I see her face for the first time…Mine is…” You told him your name, the two basking in each other’s presence quietly, at least until the doors opened and pink guards with guns marched into the room. 

Something snapped in Dae-ho and immediately he took a protective position in front of you, his arm coming out to completely shield you as if he expected the guards to march right up to the two of you and shoot you specifically. They didn’t, rather, they stood at the opening of the door. There was one guard who stood at the front, a square mask on his face. There were a couple with triangles, instead of the square, with guns standing behind them. You admittedly cowered and gripped the back of Dae-ho’s shirt, feeling the pounding of your and your baby’s hearts like drums beating with one another. 

A vote. That’s what came next from the guards. It was O’s, those who wanted to stay, and X’s, those who wanted to return home. 

Dae-ho had calmed down, but remained by your side, comfortably rubbing your shoulder and sometimes your stomach. 

You thought you would have time to think about your vote, but the main guard announced that they would do it backwards, starting with Player 456. You looked down to the number on your shirt. You were Player 451. You were going to vote within just a few players. 

“Player 451.” 

Soon, you stood and with the help of Dae-ho, you were helped to your feet. He was perfectly willing to take you all the way down the line up to the buttons but you put your hand on his shoulder and shook your head. “I can do this…”

“Okay…” he responded hesitantly. 

You made your way down the line, both hands cradling your belly. The eyes of the other players glared like birds with claws ready to slice at you for picking the wrong choice. Soon you stood in front of the guard, the red and blue buttons appearing much larger than what you thought they would be. You looked to the red X, and then to the blue O. You raised your hand…and pressed O. The blue light shined on your face. 

It was impossible to look up to find Dae-ho in the crowd. You weren’t sure what his choice was going to be. You hadn’t mentioned it to each other. And if he was planning to pick X, then you probably fucked everything up. 

Without looking up, you made your way to the O side and stood next to a stranger, who gave you a side eye, but luckily said nothing. Dae-ho’s number wouldn’t be called for a while. 

When you finally heard it, you squeezed your eyes shut, refusing to look up as he made his way down and pressed a button. You heard the noise, but couldn’t register which button it was. 

You didn’t expect a warm and strong arm wrap around your shoulders, pressing you forward. You eyes shot open and you looked up, seeing Dae-ho smile down at you warmly. Your eyes moved down to his chest, and there you saw it…a Blue O patch…He had chosen to stay.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily…” The man mumbled and smiled reassuringly. He pulled you back into his chest, hugging you as tight as he could with your belly in the way. 

You smiled weakly and wrapped your hands behind his shoulder blades, unable to say anything. But you were happy and grateful for him. 

The two of you remained in each other’s arms until voting ended. Thank god, your ankles were about to explode. The guards dismissed themselves, leaving everyone to their own devices. 

“I need to go lay down, please. My body is about to explode.” You laughed weakly. 

“I’ve got ya…” Dae-ho guided you back to the beds with a hand on your lower back. He helped you climb into the first bed you could make it to, and pulled the blankets up to your chest. 

You grabbed at his sleeve before he could pull away. “I might need to go to the restroom later —but for now, I’m just going to sleep. Stay nearby?” At this point, your eyes were already drooping, but you couldn’t take your eyes off his goofy grin as he nodded. 

“Of course. I won’t leave you for a second. I want you to sleep and rest, For you and your baby…” He pressed his forehead to the top of your hair. You fell asleep in his arms, memorizing his warmth and smell.

[daddysfangirls-dc]

The Whole World Raged

Part 3

"Hello, I am Summer Gleeson, and tonight we continued following the tragic story of (Y/n) Wayne. Earlier today, Commissioner Gordon and District Attorney Dorn held a press conference addressing the rumors about (Y/n) Wayne's arrest. Here's a recap on that meeting."

Suddenly, the screen changed from the new room to a podium in front of the Police station, with Commissioner Gordon standing behind it.

"I want to be clear," he began. " (Y/n) Wayne will not be arrested by the GCPD. There are no open investigations on Ms.Wayne. She did what she had to do to protect herself and her younger brother while under the influence of fear toxin. I urge the public to remember who she was up against. This is a clear case of self defence."

Commissioner Gordon stepped back, and District Attorney Dorn stepped forward.

"As the Commissioner has said, there is and will never be a case opening up against Ms. (Y/n) Wayne. This is obviously self-defence. The Rumors saying otherwise are wrong. We are doing everything we can to help the young Waynes through these traumatic events. Thank you for your time."

Someone shouted before she could walk away, "What about your statements earlier this week?"

"I didn't make any statements earlier this week."

" There was an audio leak earlier this week with you talking about locking her up for her violent actions." Another shouted.

The room erupted in angry shouts as the DA asked everyone to calm down and listen. The screen changed, it was still the conference and DA Dorn, but everyone was calm and quiet now.

" I am aware of the Audio you speak of. However, it was out of context. The Statements in that recording were made Several weeks ago when Ms. Wayne was in the hospital and still under the influence of fear toxin. At the time, she was behaving with extreme violence, and we had no cure in sight. I, not the district attorney's office, proposed the idea to medical staff about possibly placing her on a psychiatric hold until an antidote could be made.

Fortunately, an antidote was made and injected before any more thought was put into that proposal. On that note, the antidote is being mass-produced for this new strain as we speak and- "

Suddenly, the screen changed. It was another news channel showing the conference. Changed again. Click. Two news anchors talking about the conference. Click. A reporter outside the warehouse where it happened. Click. A clip of her in an ambulance. Click. A clip of Damian screaming in his ambulance. Click. A video of her violent episode at the hospital. Click. A photo of her in her hospital bed. Click another video of her hospital rampage.

All of a sudden, the remote was snatched from her hand, and the TV was turned off.

Alfred handed her Smoothie instead and left, taking the remote with him.

"You shouldn't be watching that," Jason said as he ploped down in the recliner across from her. " You watch too much TV. Read a book."

'Can't read. Head hurts.' (Y/n) signed with one hand the other in a slink.

"Would you like me to read to you?" Jason teased but was also serious. He would if she wanted it. Jason had basically moved back into the house since the incident. The time he didn't use to hunt down the last of Joker's goons was spent with (Y/n). It wasn't alot of time. Joker had a lot of goons, and they had all gone into hiding when word got out that Red Hood was delivering bullets as severance packages. But still, he gave every spare moment to her, unlike others.

'Where is he?' she signed.

"With the lawyers." (Y/n) might not have been arrested for the joker. However, she did attack several medical workers, and while they weren't pressing charges, her father was offering to pay for their medical bills, taking care of any injuries she had given them.

(Y/n) had not seen her father since her discharge day. He had picked her up from the hospital, helped her set up at home, had dinner with her, and then disappeared into the night, to never be seen again. The Joker incident occurred six weeks ago, and she returned home three weeks ago. She had seen very little of her father since the incident.

'Is he...?'

Jason observed her, waiting for her question.

'Is he mad at me?'

"No, you did nothing wrong." Jason moved to crouching down in front of her, careful of the loose tubes and fragile limbs.

'I killed.'

"You protected yourself. You saved Damian. You did what was right. He's Proud of you. " Jason said he moved to put a hand on her knee but thought better of it and simply smiled.

Truth be told, Jason hadn't seen Bruce since the day of (Y/n) discharge, and Red Hood hadn't seen Batman since before the Joker's death. He wouldn't admit he had been avoiding any and all interactions with Bruce and had been more focused on taking care of (y/n).

Honestly, the whole family had been reeling from the events.

Tim hadn't been avoiding (Y/n), but the events affected Wayne Industries as well. As the Ceo, he had been tasked with handling the board and shareholders. Dick was busy tending to Damian most of the time. Who had been pulled out of school after being targeted by reporters as well as his fellow classmates, everyone wanted firsthand accounts. Everyone had been trying their best to return to their normal lives.

Nobody was outright avoiding her; she still saw her siblising, but they were now tiptoeing around her like she was fragile and/ or would snap at any moment. Which was understandable. While under the influence of the fear, she had attacked several members of her family including Batman, Nightwing, Oprhan, and Red Robin. Although she had been given an antidote, being under the influence so long, she now had some lingering side effects, which led to her attacking Stephanie and Duke. So far, Alfred, Jason, and Damian are the only ones in the family who have not been victims of her outbursts.

'Could you tell him I'm sorry?' she signed. ' I didn't mean it. Please.'

Jason sighed he wanted to hug her but settled, placing his forehead against her. He wanted to say " No, there is nothing to apologize for the clown got what he deserved and Bruce need to suck it up or kiss ass." Instead, he signed.

'Okay.' Kissing her forehead and walked away.

-

Tim looked at the pile of things that had piled up in front of Wayne Enterprise. They were all for (Y/n). Flowers, plushies, books, painting, recordings, some food, anything, everything one could think of as a gift of appreciation and gratitude. There was also a pile growing in front of the manor.

(Y/n) had done a service for the city, and they were thanking her.

The riots had just ended. A week and a half after the incident, a rumor started that (Y/n) would be arrested. The city immediately fell into chaos, and not its normal chaos. A rage-fueled chaos that had taken the whole town, literally. Tim had never in a million years expected the Elites and the lower class to come together and agree on something, but they did. Of course, they did. The Joker didn't discriminate. He had a victim in everyone.

The riots lasted four weeks (although they did pause the day (Y/n) was discharged). They were ended with the combined help of the GCPD, Coast Guard, and the Justice League members, including Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Green Lantern, and Martian Manhunter. Marshall Law had been lifted just this morning.

"I told the staff to collect this stuff and put it in a few empty conference rooms."

"A few?" Dick asked

"Yeah, already filled up two. And that's just from the employees." Tim picked up a white plushie amongst the gifts. They started to walk to Dick's car.

Damian was sitting in the back seat. He had been staying with Dick since the incident and had been pull off from Robin. He didn't complain about it. ( He was actually the one who paused the riots during (Y/n)'s discharge day. Twitting about it and asking the protestors to quiet down and clear the roads for her. But not in such a nice way.)

"How is he?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I won't talk to me. He's been quiet."

"Damian, quiet. The end is near." Dick Smacked him upside the head and pushed him towards the car.

Although the riots had ended, the city still wasn't happy. And Tim didnt’t hink they'd be happy anytime soon.

[ruvviks]

🤡 👻 🙉 🐌 🥞 🎮 🌠AND 💘 for nathan [:

oc asks!

🤡 CLOWN FACE: Are they afraid of clowns? What “silly” fears do they have?

nathan isn't necessarily afraid of clowns, but they would make him very paranoid and on edge. he would not make eye contact with any of them because that's how they get you. he doesn't need to draw that sort of attention to himself

most of nathan's fears are actually very serious and even the smaller seemingly innocent things have a very heavy weight to them (such as getting scared when someone locks the door of the room he's in), so i wouldn't say he has any silly fears. they all stem from deep within himself and even if he himself thinks they're weird or stupid, his friends take them very seriously because they know how he's been hurt in the past

👻 GHOST: Do they believe in the supernatural or paranormal? Have they ever had any “encounters”?

so this is fun because nathan is a sceptic. all the way down to the bones. he does not believe in ghosts he does not want to believe in ghosts. everything that's happened to him in the STEM environments was horrible and bad but it made sense since it was all consciousnesses linked together creating a horrible nightmare environment. but ghosts in the real world? no such thing. that's not real. can't be. surely

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL: Are they good at keeping secrets? Do they share their own secrets?

nathan is the best person to trust with literally anything. he will not ever forget but he will also never talk about it to someone else your secret is 10000% safe with him and he is very serious about it. he never talks about his own problems though you couldn't waterboard any of that out of him

🐌 SNAIL: What’s their happy place? Do they have somewhere they can retreat to just chill out for a while?

nathan doesn't really have much of a happy place, more just a comfort place. his apartment is the safest place on earth to him and he loves it there, but at the same time it's isolating him from the rest of the world and being in there doesn't really make him as happy as other things could :( he needs the solitude and the comfort of that place at the same time which makes it very hard to break out of that cycle, there's nowhere else for him to go so he doesn't really have any alternatives

🥞 PANCAKES: What’s their comfort food?

any food can be comfort food to nathan if he craves it enough LMAO but in general he is a sucker for korean fried chicken. you could give him that whenever and he will eat all of it and if you then give him more he will eat more of it

🎮 VIDEO GAME: Do they play video games? What kind of games do they prefer?

nathan plays shooters!! he doesn't really have the attention span for any complicated storylines or puzzles or stealth or whatever so just straightforward run and gun blast your way through hordes of zombies or demons or other enemies type of games would be his favorite :]

🌠 SHOOTING STAR: If they had one (or three) wishes, what would they wish for?

nathan would wish for as much money as he needs so he can live comfortably without worrying about not being able to pay the bills ever again, with some extra cash to help out his friends too. most of his worries balance entirely on his home situation which is mainly stressful because of him being unable to keep a job and because of that running low on funds, he can't afford therapy even if he wanted to and can't get the proper medication that he needs and it's all turning his life to shit :( so to have financial stability would help him out so so much

💘 HEART WITH ARROW: Do they ever get crushes? What do they do when they have feelings for someone?

nathan gets crushes very easily but it mostly just boils down to people giving him attention and him mistaking it for romantic (or sexual) interest and it often leads to him trying to make a (mainly sexual) move to show that he cares about that person in return, since it's the only "love language" he knows... he THINKS he loves them in a charged way but it's generally just him feeling comfortable and safe with someone which hasn't happened much in his past, which is why he doesn't really know what to do with it. but most of it is just friendship

now that he HAS in fact fallen in love with someone he doesn't even realize that it's happened which is a very funny contrast with what i just described above. it's because it comes a lot more natural to him this time, and it doesn't feel forced and he doesn't feel like he needs to pay the other person back in some sort of way which takes away the whole trying to make a move on them and just leaves hanging out together and naturally growing closer over time. it's a lot better and healthier for him :]

[sfiltron]

Thinking about how Gotham would probably have the best public benefits in the USA after some years of Bruce throwing money at all the problems, but that still doesn't do much since the city is cursed and for every ten PhD graduate you get a new rogue of the week.

And I don't mean infalible public benefits, I mean that they are there.

Yeah, you get mugged and stabbed on the street, so you go to a clinic and they patch you up and give you medication for free, but you have to be tended in the waiting hall because other 6 people have also been stabbed and the beds are being used by the numerous goons that found a bat or bird in a bad mood that night.

You don't have to pay for renovations or even have insurance if Firefly burns your street down, Bruce Wayne already paid for it, but there's a two-year wait-list for relocation of rogue attack survivors, and it keeps on getting longer because SOMEONE keeps on having fights in construction sites and the metal beams they spend yesterday transporting up 6 stores are not vertically implanted into the ground floor.

A lot of full paid scholarships and internships, but you get them by merit and you have to compete with an absurd amount of geniuses since the Riddler committed semi-accidental eugenics a few years back when he killed anyone who couldn't solve his riddles. It's almost impossible to get into a scholarship if you aren't a Gotham native.

Depending where you live, you may not pay for your water bill, but that's because there's at least a 50% chance of getting chemically altered water (sometimes you have to put the antidote to fear toxin with your clothes in the washing machine so you don't feel anxious in your pajamas).

Healthcare is very encouraged, at some point they give off meds with discounts and in packs, which is great because you don't want to have a psychotic episode and then end up in the same place they keep Killer Croc.

And we're not even taking into account that the goons are unionized.

[zityaswers]

Can we get more in depth backstories for the roster? :3

Of course you can! Stories below the cut!

GLOW:

Glow was born to a mother named dim and a father named hack! Hack left dim when he was born and dim was forced to raise glow on her own. She had inherited a nice house from her grandmother, so dim at least had a paid-off home to live in while she raised her baby. Glow was one of those kids who knew they were trans really early on! He knew when he was around 7 years old, and the kids instantly started bullying him- he met Chiron though, who was an orphan, and they two bonded! they became best friends, and glow's mom was basically like a guardian for chiron! They grew up side by side, both of them experiencing their own trauma and taking care of their mother who was slowly getting sicker and sicker-!

Eventually dim couldn't Pay for her medical bills, so she was forced to get back with hack in order to financially support herself and her children! hack was HORRIBLE to chiron, and to glow too but less so. he tried to "beat the trans" out of glow and would beat them both on the daily-! eventually though glow walked in on his dad trying to SA his mom and he reacted (he was 15 at the time) and killed his dad. Glow never got over that guilt despite him doing what was right to protect his mother! Dim died not too long after chiron and glow turned 18! glow inherited the home and chiron, grief stricken and angry, left the home and left glow too despite the two being in a romantic relationship at this point. Glow was devastated, but he stayed behind to tend to his mother's home. his home was often broken into, and glow learned how to kill intruders for his own safety.

Eventually, chiron had gotten caught up with willow (see the links for chiron’s profile!) and once willow took control of chiron's body he first kidnapped a bunch of kids and then Glow! Glow was confused but not really angry at first- he just wanted to try and get the kids out and talk Chiron down to get him mental help- he had no intentions of hurting Chiron, and he was just very much in love with Chiron too. This love blinded him all the way until glow's face was slammed into wooden stairs for defending Oliver, resulting in one of his beautiful orange eyes turning Grey and him going blind in that eye. After this glow started looking for someone on the outside to help him escape, and he encountered Acorn, whom he met a few times in childhood and never really talked to.. Acorn had a huge crush on glow and offered to help, but it was in vain. Chiron caught wind of it, and glow was beaten down for it. Eventually things took a horrible turn, and of course I won't go into detail but Glow ended up pregnant with Chiron's children. It was..pretty awful to say the least-

Glow didn’t know what to do with the kids and wasn’t allowed to get an abortion. At the same time, he was forced to stop seeing Acorn, which took a huge toll on him. He laid Chiron’s eggs and kept them safe, because to glow at that point the babies were already too far gone to justify aborting them, plus his instincts kicked in and he couldn't bring himself to even give them away (Not that Chiron would have let him). Chiron’s abuse continued for a long time, and yet he wasn’t all cocky when it came to Glow. Glow is actually larger than Chiron, and Chiron knew Glow could deal some serious damage if he was angry enough. Chiron took to threatening Icarus, Crescent and the other children in the household to keep Glow in line, and it worked for the most part. Part of Chiron's control, particularly over Icarus and Crescent, was violence- and this meant he needed to hurt them to keep control over them.

When he almost crippled Crescent, Glow flipped out and nearly killed Chiron- the only thing stopping him was Icarus holding him back in the end, out of fear of losing his family. This fear wouldn’t last long though, because once Chiron not only killed one of Glow's eggs (Zag), but also humiliated Glow in front of him, forcing Glow to go “Belly up”. This is an act Glow's species does to show total submission to someone, as though they are a slave, and Chiron made Icarus watch as he claimed Glow by threatening Glow's other babies, Poppy and Hercules. Glow is fucking struggling to be frank. He doesn't know how to cope, the only other people he's trapped with are all children and like…they can’t really comfort him- He does however eventually murder Chiron. He rips Chirons throat out in a final stand, and in this same battle 404 dies as well cuz fuck you 404- Glow is shaken and has no idea how to transition to peaceful life, but he gets back in contact with Acorn.

Acorn is an asshole- he manipulates Glow and makes Glow feel like a bad father, and Glow, who is really fed up with bad men in his life, breaks up with Acorn and vows not to date for a while so he can get his shit together Glow eventually does get his shit together- he goes to therapy, and starts to focus on himself for the first time in his life. He visits his mothers old home, and gathers his and Chirons things. He takes Chirons old things and packs them up, leaving them in the attic. He misses Chiron in some weird way, and can’t bring himself to throw it away. He raises Icarus and Crescent, as well as Crescent’s brother Eclipse and a child named mint- and he takes care of his two newest kids Poppy and Hercules.

The busy lifestyle as a parent keeps him fulfilled and he spends his late nights cleaning, which sounds bad but Glow actually finds cleaning very calming. Glow eventually does date again, once Hercules and Poppy are in their late teens. First he meets a blue-scales named Tide, who despite his insanely small size is very loving and brave. And then he meets a albino white-ringed-black-snake named Adore, who is even bigger than Glow! The three are a perfect contrast, with Glow providing tender love, Tide providing energy and adventure and Adore providing rationality and structure to the relationship.

CHIRON- As an egg, was abandoned by his original parents. Grew up alone and confused until a kind women started taking care of him-he didn't live with her, but he was very attached to her. He also became best friends with her son, Glow, and eventually fell in love with glow and started dating him. As a child was often bullied for having no parents. During his pre-teen years his caretaker got back with her abuse ex, perhaps out of fear or financial desperation. Was beaten by his adoptive father, to the point where he left bloody looking for help. Instead of receiving help, however, he was raped by 5 full grown adults at age 14. Became a "bully" in order to protect himself. Once glow accidently killed his adoptive father, chiron calmed down for a while until his adoptive mother died of cancer. He was 18 when he lost her. abandoned his home and glow to gain political power, until decisions drove him to find a family. Eventually kidnapped and took hostage a few children, most notably Oliver with the help of Helios. Teamed up with 404 and killed multiple people out of a craze for control and a longing for a family. eventually he realized he was wrong but couldn't bring himself to stop. He then met willow. Willow tricked him and stole his soul, possessing his body and using it to rape multiple people, including children and even glow. All the while the real chiron watched helplessly and ashamed that he was powerless to stop it. Finally he was killed by glow in combat, and his soul was free from willows wrath. Death took pity on him and granted him a peaceful afterlife, where he met and fell in love with two men named Zephyr and Nox. Lives mostly isolated now, suffering from the trauma of his past and trying to move forward with the help of his boyfriends

DRAGON/HUNTER/LILAC/PRIME:

Okay so I'll type out each backstory

Hunter His au In his au (thats what I call each ones universe, since their all from their own universe) you heard the tech vs nature war- it caused the split, etc etc- Hunter was displaced due to the war which is also why hes so disconnected from his culture- hunter ofc lives on the nature side His story Hunter has an older brother, and when hunter was born his mom died in childbirth- His father and his brother were both very physically abusive to him, and wanted him to achieve big things from a young age- hunter was amazing at fishing and even better with a bow/arrow- but he was never good enough for his family, and when he was 10 he ran away after a particularly brutal beating. That's when he meets dragon.

Dragon his au In dragons au most people are fused with-well-dragons- there are multiple types of dragons, and some dragons get fused with people (specially bred ones) and others are just normal dragons- the most common types of dragons include Green dragons, Night dragons, Sky dragons, Fire dragons, and Water dragons. His story Dragon was the first one to be fused with a dragon-he was on his way to school when he was kidnapped and taken to a lab, where they fused him with a green dragon. Afterwards he was sent home, where his family cast him aside due to his new feral features on him. Eventually the lab took him back and fixed the feral-ness but it was too late, dragons relationship with his brother and his dad had been ruined. that's why dragon ran away while being 10, that's when he met hunter.

Lilac: Her au Lilacs au is at war, monsters vs humans. A cruel and unjust king rules the monsters, and he'll do anything to win. Other than that its pretty normal. Her story Her dad wanted a boy, so he gave her over to the science branch of the royal guard to be used to experiment on, and they fused her with a number of animals. They also cloned her, and made a bunch of versions of her, all designed to be perfect war machines. THe king then put them through tests, and killed them one by one until it was only lilac left, to prove that she was the strongest. she flipped out when her friend lily died, and when she was 11 she killed most of the royal guard and ran away-that's when she met dragon and hunter.

Prime His au His au is basically a more violent version of a normal au, and their also at war with monsters vs humans. Their king is a diffrent kind of cruel and unjust, but cruel and unjust nonetheless his story prime was born to a middle class father with no brother. He was born blind and def, and in school struggled because of the harsh bullying he would endure for his disabilities, ontop of his undiagnosed autism. He'd often fail his classes and spend all his time building with his father, until his father disappeared when prime turned 12. At this time there was a war draft going on demanding the eldest man from every home go to war, and that happened to be prime, so primes little 12 year old self was shipped off to war against the humans. He watched death and destruction happen, and he built a weapon that he used to kill on the battle field. this weapon caught the attention of the war general, and it was mass produced with the blueprints prime provided, causing the monsters to win the war. Prime was regarded a hero, but he hated the people around him, so he invented a portal gun just to get away from them all. at this point he was 13, and he met dragon hunter and lilac that day and became their best friend.

Their story together The four formed their own little crews, each centered around their specific branch-prime was tech, Lilacs was undercover, Dragons was fighting, and Hunter was Hunting. These four crews were merged in a way, and prime built them all special tents-no one, including themselves, in the crew was over 18- the youngest was a kid named flash and his twin named thunder, who were 14- They all worked together to take out predators, murders, etc, which is a big job for a bunch of kids- they killed the wrong person, and whisper got PISSED because that person happened to be his love interest of the time- So whisper got MAD and decided to tell the crew of kids that either they'd join him or he'd slaughter them all. Hunter prime and lilac were insistent on fighting whisper, but dragon was scared to die and didn't wanna fight. Once, hunter prime and dragon all went on a mission to scope out whispers base, which is when whisper "forced" dragon to drop hunter off the cliff. Lilac and prime, who didn't see it happen, were devastated, and dragon told them hunter has simply fell. Prime went back to find his best friends remains, but found a living horribly hurt hunter instead. He built hunter back together, and the two became best friends, but prime urged hunter to stay away from the crew since he had a rare chance at freedom and he feared the crew rioting if they learned what dragon did, and hunter agreed so he stayed away. Eventually everyone in the crew except lilac decided to riot against dragon anyways since they thought he was a shitty replacement to hunter, and they actually threw dragon over the same cliff dragon had dropped hunter- right after this, whisper slaughtered the entire crew except the main four plus flash and nyx, but the main four thought flash and nyx were dead, so they left them behind. Whisper held prime dragon and lilac captive, forcing them to do his bidding. He was especially harsh to Prime since he saw prime as weak.

Eventually the three did break free of whisper, and helped another crew, known as errors crew, to kill whisper, shortly after this they reunited with hunter, whos relationship with dragon is now very VERY strained, and not long after that they reunited with flash and nyx

Thing is, nyx had been grooming flash while they were gone, but she "broke up" (in quotes since it wasn't a real relationship) with flash because she wanted to date dragon instead-thing is dragon had a girlfriend, so instead she kidnapped dragon and forced him to have a kid with her, who was named prince. dragon was saved, but had developed a deep fear of touch and a horrible feeling of being inmasculine due to his new sexual trauma-

Prime was also kidnapped by chiron, who almost killed him multiple times- which was SILLY- prime had also gotten back with his (now ghost) lover, after his lover had died when prime was 17, but as a ghost his lover aged to be 21- primes boyfriend was named pinpoint, and apparently being dead made them an asshole because they were TOXIC to prime and eventually cheated on prime instead of visiting him in the hospital when primes house burned down.

Lilac was also affected by chiron, and she was forced back to her home, where a clone of her named lila was made. Lila and lilac hated eachother at first, but seeing as they were dealing with the same trauma they bonded, and escaped the kingdom lilac was orginally from once again, but this time together

Hunter meanwhile has been chilling

FLASH:

Flash: His au His au was pretty normal, but they have a really really bad childcare system-other than that theres not much to note his story Okay so when he was 3 his mom killed herself- he didn't know she was dead so he went and cuddled up next to her corpse, and thats a core memory for him- When he was 4-8 his father abused the FUCK outta him- would feed him beer and beat him and stuff- his father also got obsessed with people who looked like flashes mother, and would kidnap and kill prostitutes and other sex workers who resembled her, and once flash walked in on him about to hurt this women, so his father forced him to be the one who killed the lady-thats another core memory for flash Flash told a police officer about it, and thunder and flash were displaced as their father was sent to jail-they spent their lives on the street, with flash having to be a parent to thunder due to maturing faster due to his abuse and mishandling- flash would also hallucinate graphic gory scenes, but never got help for it. When the two were 10, dragon/lilac/hunter/prime found them, and helped them- took them into their crew. Thunder became a fighter, while flash dabbled in all four positions, becoming a jack of all trades- When whisper slaughtered everyone, flash was the first person he fought- whisper hit flash so hard that half his body cracked, and whisper left flash like that to bleed out- he also slit nyx's throat, but the cut wasn't deep enough to kill

Flash and nyx spent 6 years together, in which nyx abused and groomed flash into doing nasty stuff, and flash trama blocked most of it- when nyx "broke up" with flash, flash flipped out and broke down because his self worth was relying on that relationship- and when nyx betrayed flash for DRAGON, flash got bitter, until he learned that her betrayal involved kidnapping dragon- Flash helped save dragon and eventually became friends eith the main four again

[jayne-hecate-writer]

Happy New Year?...

As twenty twenty three passes into twenty twenty four, we can all sit back and reflect on where we have come as a society, marvel at the changes we have made for the better as things have improved for everyone, to ensure that they can live happy, worry free lives...

This is of course utter nonsense. Things have not got better, if anything, things have got considerably worse and many families in the UK are facing an uncertain future, filled with fear and misery. With heating bills rising, rents out of control even if you can find somewhere to live and medical waiting lists moving from months into years for essential health care. From this, we can only conclude that Britain is failing. The old Etonian schoolboys who have run the country for the last decade and a half have lined their own pockets, sold essential services to their friends and stolen the hopes and dreams of the poor. Food bank usage is higher than ever and of course, Brexit has been a huge, wonderful success... Opps sorry, I mean a catastrophic failure that we could all see coming, but somehow the likes of Farage and Johnson convinced the masses that a future separate from our biggest trading partners was the best option for us.

Why am I writing this now? I have kept quiet on my views for long enough. In twenty twenty three, I turned fifty. I never thought I would make it to fifty, I had always thought that I would have died in some exciting mountaineering accident, my mangled body slowing rotting in the high altitude sunshine, having dropped from an indeterminate ledge upon which I was having an epic climb. But arthritis and injury put a stop to that dream! Instead I am stuck indoors, riddled with pain and losing my mobility and independence, while living in fear of the next PIP assessment form that is going to drop through my door and force me to justify my existence.

I realise now that my hope for a happy peaceful future has evaporated. I am terrified of getting tooth ache, because I have no access to dental care. If I have an injury that needs medical attention, the NHS is so stripped of money, I will just sit on a waiting list to see a specialist Doctor who probably died of stress related alcoholism or Covid some time ago and may not have been replaced yet. I am not alone in these fears, so many others here in the UK have these fears and I cannot see a bright future for anyone here, except the very richest, most of which are already multimillionaires. Our current Prime Minister is richer than the King, meanwhile his wife has dealings with companies that are alleged to have made huge profits from Government involvement or even corruption. We all know that the Government are corrupt, but the media has carefully taken the hatchet to the anyone who would oppose them, leaving us with an opposition party who recently praised the work of Margaret Thatcher, the milk snatcher. The woman who destroyed the mining industry before it was cool to do so and also sold off our water and energy infrastructure, who took us back to the dark ages of the rich owning everything the poor rely upon to live. Currently, we have an unelected member of the cabinet, put there by making him a member of the house of lords, a completely unelected body who include people like Andrew Lloyd Webber and even Jeffrey Archer, of Weston Super Mare (some of us remember the scandal that involved him while he was in Government. Oh, they were such happy days, back when a political scandal meant that the minister was caught having intimate relations with someone he/she/they were not married too!). I am even getting e-Mails from Lord Michael Hesseltine, telling me that we have the same views on important political issues, such as Brexit and membership of the EU. OK, well only on that issue.

So what is my hope for twenty twenty four? It is this. I hope that nothing happens to me or my wife, because I do not know how I will pay the rent on my home. I hope that I do not need dental care or surgery. I hope that my car, that helps me with my daily mobility, does not fail the MOT in January. I hope that my Daughter and her partner can find a home of their own. I hope that my friends can find stability and freedom from debt. I hope that my seventeen year old cat makes it for another year . Finally, I hope that my arthritic hands can keep going as I explore my art and my writing. See? I do have hope after all.

My dear friends, I hope that the coming year brings you much needed peace and restorative rest, so we can face the horrors of our society and fight to put them right. I hope that we can remove these overly entitled bigots and old Etonian schoolboys from power and put in place a better, more egalitarian Government who don't want to ship desperate, hurting people off to the country that is still recovering from a horrific genocide of it's own people.

But if all of these hopes fail, you will find me on a mountain, real or metaphysical, praying to the spirit of nature to take me back home and away from this hellscape I have landed in... Oh yeah, I should mention that shouldn't I? Twenty twenty three was the year that I discovered that I had swapped universes, travelled across the metaphysical barrier between realities and landed in this unrelenting hellscape of far right politics and revolting nationalism. I should have guessed really, after all, what kind of lunatic would vote Boris Johnson into power or believe the lies and evil of Donald Trump? The world feels like a computer game, being played for laughs by a teenager who wants to see how evil a society can become before it implodes! Surely, at any moment, the points score is going to be so low that we are going to be wiped out by environmental disaster, while fighting global warfare started by underendowed oligarchs or simply failing to reach the next level in the game. I know how this works, I used to play Theme Hospital and occasionally I put the most evil and corrupt characters in charge, just for the giggles. Oh Heck... None of this is real. What kind of reality would allow for a fourth Matrix movie or make Darth Vader the sympathetic character we all feel sorry for?

Good luck my friends, I hope that despite it all, the coming year brings you the things you need to make your life safe, happy and peaceful. If it doesn't, then come and find me on the mountain and we can shout at the sky together.

With love always, Jayney XXX

[whitecollargirlfriend]

Hey. It's my birthday and I'm in danger.

I dont have a lot of followers and when I needed help affording my medication a few months back, the post flopped. But! It's my birthday on monday and I fear for my safety! My house was broken into in August. I was certain if I made a post then it would flop again and I was embarrassed to even try. Now, my attacker is escalating, and I need to buy security cameras, and you are my only hope.

On august 26th, someone came threw a window my roommate had left unlocked, and stole only from me. My tv, ps4, laptop, and $700 (rent money). Money and material goods are one thing, but the person also took out my vibrator and my underwear and arranged them on my bed, as well as leaving a mug and plate at my desk where they had clearly made themselves comfortable. I was terrified and didn't sleep for weeks, thinking it's my violent r*pist ex roommate trying to scare me or worse.

Last week, my roommate Dawny (@wizardproblem) came home to find our 2 cats outside and shattered glass everywhere. The (we think the same) person this time threw a brick through the bedroom window of my house so hard it left a hole in the opposite wall. A trail of broken glass went immediately to where the money was kept the first time, and when it was not found, they went straight to my bedroom. There they found my rent money once again ($700, my landlord takes it in cash only and I withdraw it as soon as I have it so I don't overdraw my account come rent-time), and, upon opening my drawer and seeing i threw out my sex toys, tore apart my bedroom, pulling clothes off of hangers and ripping books to pieces. Finally, they stole a very personal and intimate journal where I describe my trauma, and went into Dawny's room and took his laptop.

On top of all that, my landlord is making me pay for the window ($600 +tax), and it's freezing in Canada. The longer I can't pay to fix it the more I'm paying for our heating bill. My landlord is also not allowing us to break our lease to move. I moved here in June.

I recognize that getting all of that money plus what our personal belongings were worth back is not possible. However, with my birthday coming up, I need to feel safe in my home at the very least. Any money I receive for this will go to getting cameras/security for my home, and any extra will REALLY help me and Dawny pay for our rent this month.

I'm really begging. If everyone that read this gave me $1 for my birthday it would truly mean the world. Please, please consider and PLEASE reblog this. Having to write this all out is so humiliating, and I really don't want it to be for nothing. Please help. Please.

p4yp4l: cassieheale

proof of stuff:

[udekai]

Murderdock Analysis

Okay, I'm sorry this even exists. It's a long one, boys. It's a very. Very. Long one. absolute dumptruck under the cut

“Dying for applause.” Is that a part of it? Stick likely taught him to kill, but The Hand raised him to be merciless. They drove home the point that the strong survive, noted at the end of this scene. They made him fight for everything, likely tooth and nail, in an attempt to make him stronger, and he excelled at it, but he never got applause for that, did he? He says later that “as any parent would do, they sent me away.” He did everything they asked and more and all it did was make them afraid of him. He hasn’t known an ounce of kindness, pride, or understanding since his parents died. How much of this is a performance to impress someone, literally anyone who might look at his work and for once say “well done”? It seems like the kind of role that Wilson Fisk might have filled.

“I need somebody to know.” Know what, how the world wronged you? Look at you, taking the first steps that would normally be done in therapy. It’s a shame the guy listening can’t/won’t help you because you’ve impaled him. Given how few panels are between this and Jack’s murder, I have to assume not much time had passed. Wiki says Jack felt mounting pressure to pay medical bills, and I know those can last for literally lifetimes, but I feel like the stress would be freshest closer to the accident, hence the stupid decisions. 

Get a load of this shit. You see that fuckin nine year old? That is Jack Murdock’s doing and this is now a Jack Murdock hate post, at least E-65 Jack Murdock. Matt is literally in the gym with him when he’s murdered. Did he not think for one single second that maybe having your son with you while you’re waiting for people to kill you might endanger him? Jack Murdock failed this boy so bad. This is almost on par with a murder-suicide. Was that it? Was Jack so broken about the death of his wife that he thought they should all die together? Was he simply so negligent that he didn’t consider they might also kill his son? Or was he so prideful that he thought he would be able to stop them when they came? If Matt hadn’t been put in a position where his father let him die, he might have come out closer to a Netflix!Matt, but no. He had to meet Stick in the most vulnerable seconds of his entire life. Over the course of a few minutes, this boy went from orphan straight to child soldier and that is 100%, unquestionably Jack Murdock’s fault. 

Right into the manipulation with this kid. Just take him while he’s in the most emotionally fragile state and tell him that the way to solve it is by killing people. Tell him that he’s special and use this as ammunition. Tell him he’s the best weapon, and that he would be selfish to turn down the opportunity to act like it. Make sure he never aspires to be anything else. Tell him how fortunate he is to have met you. I hate him and I’m glad he got stabbed. 

Fucking Christ, what is he here, like 13? I hate Stick, but I will give him credit for being the last person in Matt’s life who would ever in a million years give him credit for doing a good job. At least in this universe, I’m seeing a manipulative sack of shit that at least pretends to care about Matt’s wellbeing sometimes, and that’s more than can be said for the rest of his life. 

Mourning trauma 2, the squeakquel. That’s fine, just kill father figure #2. Matt really needed another excuse not to get attached to people, you can tell by how happy he’s been up until this point. The world really took everything he had from him, and then found more. 

Yeah, see, he’s repeating my point back to me. “Stick could see… He has nothing left. Nothing to fear. Nothing to hide. Without a life to cage him, he can be anything.” This is where the little bastard finally broke, I think. Had he continued under Stick, would he be functional? Fuck no! But he might have stood a chance of one day stepping down. Now, he’s committed, because from the second they laid eyes on him, the first thing these people thought was “this thing’s going to be great at killing people.” This is where Matthew Murdock gave up hope of being anything but a murderer, because nobody saw anything else in him. No soul, no heart, not even potential intelligence. Just a weapon. I’m glad he killed as many of you as he could. This is where he realized he was, and always would be, alone. 

Did he see them as a family? Did they fuckin make him kill his first lover? How bitter he must have been, knowing he gave everything he had to this cult, this fucked up, bloody found family, only for them to fear him for doing exactly as they asked. “I am something more than they could ever understand.” Even here, he’s an outsider. He doesn’t have allies, just sponsors. Even with all the power in the world, he had nothing at all.

This is a man who had everything he could possibly want, and found it lacking. He wasn’t alone because he was too powerful, he was alone because everyone in his life since Maggie’s death ensured it. He believes himself to be all-powerful. He sought every opportunity to grab more, because he forgot that there were other things. The idea that there may be something else to want besides more control doesn’t exist in his mind, because it has not been allowed to. The most powerful man alive, and he’s still operating on an arbitrary ruleset ingrained by a system that rewarded emotional disconnect and apathy.

He looks kinda young in that reflection of the first panel, dont he?

In a moment of hope, he sees a possibility for human connection of any sort, believing that someone who shares his experiences is the only one who could ever know that he had merit once. Who the fuck else would ever believe that he had potential to be a good person? He would literally rather destroy someone to make them understand what he’s been through before he explained it to another human being, because the only method of communication he was ever taught was cruelty. 

See, this is subtle, here. “Your desires are of no importance.” “Powerful” my pasty white ass. This comic started with him deciding, “No, you know what, you don’t own me, I want a real human connection.” He went about it the wrong fucking way, but please refer back to “Violence is the only thing he’s ever been taught, and therefore the only thing he understands.” This guy was probably 9 years old the last time anyone ever gave a fuck what he wanted. No wonder there’s this obsession with power; it’s obtainable for him and he’s been made to obey. The world has taken everything from him, and The Hand ensured it stayed that way. Power was the only thing Matt ever stood a chance of taking back, and this is him realizing that even that wasn’t doable so long as he was still cooperating. It was probably shortly before he met Gwen that he realized that he had been manipulated his entire life, and there was never anything he could have done about it. 

He's addicted to control, because it's something he hasn't had for most of his life. He wants somebody to stop him because then the failure won’t be his fault. He can forgive himself for losing against a worthy opponent, but backing down has never been an option. He’s always wanted out, but even if The Hand allowed its people to retire (doubt), he can’t do that. I consider most of his goading Gwen later in the comics to be suicide attempt #2. 

This and the panel with little tiny Murderdock all curled up in a ball are enough to make me go completely insane. It’s telling that he considers this a connection. My meow meow in christ, you deserve better. Not because I think he has many redeeming qualities, but because he’s a human being. 

Because what did Jack’s code of honor get Matt? A lifetime alone, full of servitude and trauma, that’s right. 

Is he tho? Yes, he's pulling the strings here, but he's also not allowed to drop them.

This has major “Oh, shocker, Daddy’s disappointed in me. Again.” energy. Look at that face. He knows they’re going to try to kill him, and he’s counting on Gwen to do it first. 

I think Matt was interested in George Stacy’s decision for more than just his obsession with Gwen. I think he had an academic interest to see if Jack’s mistake was one that any idiot would make. If Jack were alive, and he renounced Matt for what he's become, I don't think Matt would give two shits, because what's his opinion worth? But if Jack still loved him anyway, which I think is more likely, then we get something spicy. Then Matt has to make peace with the fact that Jack loved him, but his pride was still worth more. I bet Matt’s thought about that before, and maybe he’s interested in knowing if every man’s pride is worth more than their child’s life. 

I know this is actually a pretty pragmatic thing for Matt to tell him, but I am once again pointing to how nobody has given a shit what Matt wants for years, too busy trying to keep him occupied in a way that’s conducive to The Hand’s purposes. (Or Stick’s. And honestly, probably Fisk’s. And even more honestly? Jack’s. See: no dont go outside ever, you need to go to law school). I’d also point to the fact that Matt expects nobody to ever understand him. If he told someone his side, would they care? Would anyone care?

Okay, I’m still stuck on this. Did Matt see The Hand as a family? A fucked up, brutal, broken family? Because it’s easy to read this as a pride thing, right: “Not them.” Not them, as in “I don’t want them to win” or not them, as in “I want to pretend I was important”? Because it’s not like The Hand is going to purposely draw out his death. If they had it their way, they would make it quick. Why is it so important that Gwen does it? This doesn’t look like the face of a man who wants his apprentice to kill him so she understands bloodlust. He would look a little more hopeful if that were the case; no, this guy’s begging, or as close as he gets to it. 

Or is it justice? Is this the sense of justice that lives in every Matt Murdock in every universe? Because dying by The Hand is just another death, rather than vengeance as Gwen is owed? Maybe Matt’s so cynical in this universe that justice has never been served. He’s certainly never witnessed it. Maybe he wanted Gwen to stop him so bad, because even if he had to be the bad guy, at least he would know that in isolated incidents, justice still existed.

tearing my hair out tbh

[problemswithbooks]

I’ve got a lot of things to say about 336 but I’ll wait until the chapter comes out, but in the very least I think it’s safe to say--fuck Aoyama’s parents!

Like if you think about what they did to Aoyama, it’s really terrible and I’d rank them up with Enji, Kotaro and Hawks’ folks on the list of bad parents in My Hero. Yet I really don’t think that was Hori’s intention. It’s just a side effect of him not really showing what being Quirkless actually means in this world.

The only thing we know is that Izuku was bullied by Bakugou and was told he couldn’t be a Hero. Now, I might be wrong, but I think Bakugou admits that it wasn’t just the Quirklessness that caused him bully Izuku. It also had to do with his Izuku’s personality and that he so quickly tried to save without thought. So, that means that it’s possible that if Izuku had had a different personality the bullying would have been less or that even if he had had a Quirk Bakugou still would have targeted him. 

As for not being a Hero--that is literally the only job that requires someone to have a Quirk that we know about. Because Quirks aren’t allowed to be used whenever the user wants, it doesn’t seem that having a Quirk effects whether or not you can get most jobs. It doesn’t force someone into economic destitution or make them second class citizens with limited rights. Plus, because Quirks aren’t supposed to be used publicly and some people have Quirks that have very specific activation requirements it’d be easy to just lie and say you had a Quirk when you didn’t and no one would be the wiser. 

So, Aoyama could have had a perfectly normal, happy life without a Quirk. Maybe he couldn’t be a Hero, but losing out on one job doesn’t doom a person. So many little kids want to grow up to be something that is either impossible for them to be (like a princess) or nearly impossible for them to be (like the President). Growing up and learning that you can’t do a cool, or idealized job doesn’t ruin someone's life. Many people have to grapple with the realization that for whatever reason, either physical or mental or even talent, there are just some careers they can’t do--and that’s fine, life is still worth living.

But, even with so few obstacles Quirklessness causes people long term, Aoyama’s parents instead go to some guy they must know is shady as hell (if not downright evil), and ask him to give their son a Quirk--to fix him. Even though that will indebt Aoyama to him forever, could later put him in prison, and as it turns out actually leave him with a Quirk that physically harms him, and if used to much could kill him. Instead of supporting their kid, and telling him he is just as great as everyone else regardless of his Quirkless status, they put him at the mercy of AfO, just so he has a chance at being “normal” and it doesn’t even work. 

I get they wanted to make Aoyama happy--but they’re the adults. They know that although he can’t be a Hero, that he can do literally anything else in life. Some kids might tease him, but they seem to have more then enough money to home school him if it truly gets that bad. But even if they couldn’t do that, there’s really no good reason to put your kid in debt, and give them a permeant aliment just so they can fit in during their childhood.  

This is like parents that put their kids through painful, dangerous medical procedures for no other reason then that they don’t fit some norm. Except in this case Aoyama is also the one that has to pay the bill for those botched procedures and the people his parents went to were in the Mob or something and he now lives in constant fear of his life if he can’t pay.

[tripleaxeldiaz]

nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy

read on ao3

Eddie’s fine. Really. He’s got a fresh scar on his right shoulder, a twin to his other one, and a couple more medical bills to pay off, but other than that, everything is good.

Why shouldn’t it be? Things could be worse — he could’ve lost his arm, could’ve been shot in the spine instead, could’ve not survived the trip to the hospital. But he did — he’s healed, he’s still breathing, and he’s ready to get back to work on Monday, to stop staring at the inside of his house and get back to the life he’d finally started to feel settled in. There’s a twinge in his chest every time he thinks about actually being back out in the field, but it’s just nerves, a small worry at getting back into the swing of things. He knows the team and how well they work together, so he’s sure one rope rescue with Buck is all it’ll take to feel normal again.

He’s fine. Or almost fine. Really, he is. He doesn’t let the tremble in his hands or the ice in his gut tell him otherwise.

~~~~~~~~~~

It doesn’t really register, the first time it happens. There’s a glint of light in his periphery, and for a second, his arms go numb. It’s just a second, though — he sees the flash again, sunlight shining off an axe Ravi is packing onto the truck, and he moves on, doesn’t think about it again.

The next time, the wind whips by his ear a little too fast after a call at the pier, and he turns around so quickly he cracks his neck, the thought of bulletbulletbullet ricocheting in his head. It gets him a concerned look from Bobby and reminds him that he never called that therapist his doctor mentioned at his last visit, but he elects to deal with it later and moves on.

Things keep happening, but they’re all small, insignificant — someone laughing too loudly at dinner, the feel of hot asphalt under his hands as he reaches under the ambulance for a runaway bandage roll, a phantom jolt of pain in his shoulder when someone accidentally jostles him running to the truck.

Tiny things, meaningless, not even worth remembering.

He’ll get used to them, eventually. He’s been healing, isolated from the real world for months now, it’s going to be a bit of a shock to his system and his senses.

He doesn’t call the therapist.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buck’s happy. Genuinely happy, in an open, honest way that Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever seen. His laughs are still loud but they’re freer, unrestrained, and his smile is bright enough to light whatever room he’s in. It makes something sing in Eddie’s chest, especially when all that wattage gets directed at him. If he’s honest, the music’s been there for a while, it just took lying in his own blood, reaching toward the only thing that felt like safety, for him to finally put a name on the song that’s been playing.

Talk about shitty timing.

Because Buck’s with Taylor now, and as much as he still doesn’t care for her, she’s helping with Buck’s new attitude too. He sees the soft smiles that linger after a text from her, and he only gives himself a minute to wish it were for him instead before reminding himself how much of a miracle those smiles are at all.

If he had watched Buck get shot, been splattered with his blood, been soaked with it as he tried to stop it from leaking out of his chest, he’s not sure he would’ve had any kind of happiness to spare.

So he adds this feeling, this particularly green beast twisting in his chest, to the list of things that he’s just going to have to get used to, and moves on. Buck is still in his and Chris’ life, still at their house more than his own, still the center of both of their worlds, and that’s enough. 

It has to be.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Wow, Eddie, you look like shit.”

He glares at Chimney as best he can, but he’s too tired for it to hold any heat. “Good morning to you too, Chim.”

Hen sits next to him at the table where he’s nursing his second mug of coffee of the day, downing the first one before driving Chris to school. She presses the back of her hand to his forehead, and he tries not to melt into the touch too much.

“You don’t feel warm,” she says, “but you look like you’ve been hit by a truck.”

He shrugs, staring down at his coffee. “Just haven’t been sleeping well.”

That may be an understatement. Not sleeping well implies sleeping at all, which Eddie’s not sure he’s been able to do in the past few days. It was easy enough when he first got home, still on pain meds that made his eyelids constantly heavy. And when Chris crawled into his bed the night after his sling came off, quiet but sniffling and burrowing into his side, it was a relief to gather him up close, a hand stroking through his hair as they both drifted off, clinging to each other. It was good for both of them, necessary to remind them both that Eddie is still here, but Chris went to his own room on Monday night instead of Eddie’s, and Eddie refused to take that choice away from him. 

So he’s been alone, in a too dark room with a too big bed and a too loud brain that only shows him flashes of light and blood and fear whenever he does try to close his eyes.

Just another thing he has to get used to.

He sees Chim and Hen exchange a look and hopes to God they don’t press it. He’s beyond frayed, his state of exhaustion warring with his almost constant state of hypervigilance, and he’s not sure if he’d snap or cry or both if they try to ask him any more questions. Either way, that’s not how he wants them or anyone else to see him, especially not at work. At work, he’s Mr. Cool, always level headed, always in the game, always on top of it. Despite the jumpiness, despite the sense of dread that seems to be a permanent fixture under his skin, he’s been able to keep that attitude going, even getting lost in it sometimes, feeling like the Eddie of four months ago again. If that starts to unravel, who knows what other parts of him will fall apart with it?

Luckily, they seem to get the hint, a pat on the back and a squeeze on the shoulder as they leave the loft to restock the ambulance. But even once they’re gone and he’s alone in the quiet of the loft again, Eddie feels exposed. Fragile. Vulnerable. Teetering on the edge of an abyss he can’t afford to fall into. And he hates it, because this isn’t him. He’s the protector, the provider, the guy who’s survived getting shot twice now, and as much as he encourages Chris to be open and emotional, it still feels wrong to him, like something too close to failure. He knows, rationally, that talking about the mess in his head would probably help, but it would also feel like a loss. Like this one-sided war he’s been fighting was all for nothing.

He hears Buck before he sees him, his unmistakable bounding up the stairs echoing through the whole loft. Just that sound, just the knowledge that Buck is about to be in his vicinity, is enough to yank Eddie back from the edge. He’s not settled or calm or better, but he’s not worse. These days, that’s all he can really ask for.

Buck takes Hen’s vacant seat, stealing a sip of coffee and chattering about a traveling art exhibit he thinks they should take Chris to. Eddie feels the vice on his ribs loosen, letting Buck’s voice and enthusiasm wash over him, pushing him back to center. He doesn’t quite make it, not when Buck stops talking mid-sentence, brow furrowed and looking so intensely at Eddie he can probably see right through him

“You look tired,” Buck says. 

Tired isn’t a strong enough word. But he smirks half heartedly instead, willing a little bit of his confidence back to get the subject changed sooner. “And here I thought I looked good today.”

“No, you always—“ Buck clears his throat and shakes his head, “You just look like you could use a nap. Are you okay?”

And for the first time since he woke up in the hospital with a new hole in his body and extra demons in his head, Eddie doesn’t want to say he’s fine. In the face of earnest blue eyes and worry lines, he doesn’t want to lie, and that’s exactly what an I’m fine would be, no matter how much he’s been trying to ignore it. He doesn’t want to downplay and pretend that it’s nothing, because it’s Buck. Buck who has seen him lower than he’s ever let anyone see, who slept on his couch so he was never too far away from him or Chris, who knows when Eddie needs to be pulled or pushed or pressed or none of the above. 

He doesn’t want to just say he’s fine, because he’s not.

The courage to say so finally fills him, just in time for Buck’s phone to light up, Taylor’s name flashing across the screen on two messages. Buck doesn’t even glance at his phone before flipping it face down and pushing it to the side, but it’s too late — Eddie feels his walls going back up, any bravery leaving to make room for the reminder that Buck is in a good place and Eddie will do anything to keep him there. He’ll take another bullet, he’ll keep every emotion under lock and key, he’ll carve his own damn heart out of his chest if he has to. He cannot — will not — be the reason that smile that’s become so natural on Buck’s face dims by even a watt. 

The crease in between Buck’s brow has only gotten deeper the longer Eddie hasn’t answered, so he musters up the most genuine smile he can. “I’m okay, Buck. I promise.” The lie cuts through his throat like broken glass.

Buck squints at him, scooting forward until his knees are digging into Eddie’s thigh. “You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?”

“Of course,” he says, another lie, more salt in the wounds he’s already given himself. Buck’s quiet for a few long moments, studying Eddie’s face, and Eddie prays that he doesn’t crack, that Buck doesn’t keep pressing. By some miracle, he doesn’t, just rests a hand on Eddie’s knee and squeezes before heading to the pantry for a snack.

The vice is back as soon as he’s out of sight, and Eddie’s list of things he has to learn to live with is starting to feel a little too long.

~~~~~~~~~~

Healing isn’t linear. It’s something he’s heard from every doctor he’s seen, every therapist he’s been assigned to, something he’s experienced first hand, physically and emotionally. So when he wakes up one morning feeling rested, energetic, and normal, he’s wary. He doesn’t want to focus on it, afraid he’ll scare this fragile feeling away, but he also wants to soak in it as much as he can. Wants to remember the easy laughs with the team and the night of board games with Chris and Buck when he’s inevitably surrounded by darkness again tomorrow.

He falls asleep and he doesn’t dream and he wakes up and feels...normal. Again. Same thing the morning after, and the morning after that. For a whole week, he doesn’t wake up with the taste of blood in his mouth or a soreness in his shoulder. He hears birds and sees the sun peaking in and feels something dangerously close to good. The wariness is still there, but every day it gets pushed a little farther back in his mind, making it a little easier to believe that while this feeling might not last, maybe it won’t be as dark when the clouds roll back in.

He’s wrong. 

The restlessness comes back with a vengeance — a thrumming in his blood that won’t let him sleep, that amplifies every sound to sharp snaps that remind him too much of the gunfire he’s been trying to forget, putting him constantly on edge again. There’s a heaviness too, making it hard to breathe, hard to move, even though staying in one place for too long feels like putting a target on his back for the monsters that have made a home in his head.

He tries to keep his cool, tries to keep the facade up, but it’s hard to keep your balance on a frayed tightrope.

Bobby notices the shift right away.

It doesn’t help that even the quiet thump of the oven closing makes Eddie flinch where he’s sitting at the kitchen counter. He had hoped that watching Bobby make breakfast would calm him, remind him of the countless hours he’s spent in Abuela’s kitchen doing the very same thing, but it doesn’t. He’s still jittery, worse than he can remember being, and everything just feels like too much. 

Bobby sets a to-go container down in front of him, and Eddie flinches (and curses himself) again. He looks up, confused, and is met with Bobby’s I’m about to tell you to do something and you are not allowed to say no look. Usually it’s Buck on the receiving end of that one.

He tries for a deflection. “Are we going somewhere, Cap?”

The look stays in place. “We are not. You are. There’s enough in there for you and Chris, take it home and don’t let me see you here for the next 48 hours.”

“There’s still three hours left of shift.”

Bobby pushes the container closer. “Go home, Diaz. Be with your kid. We’ll talk when you get back. And if you won’t talk to me, we’ll find someone you will talk to.”

Normally, he’d fight back. Raise his hackles, insist he doesn’t need any special treatment or intervention. But he feels like his insides have been scooped out and replaced with lead and cement and he’s tired. He barely has enough left in him to keep himself upright.

He slowly picks up the container and gets up to leave. Bobby calls his name as he gets to the top of the stairs.

“We’re here for you,” he says. “You’ve been through too much to be handling this on your own. Just let us know how we can help.”

I would if I could, but I don’t even know where to start. 

He just nods, hopes his face looks some degree of reassuring, and heads to the locker room.

~~~~~~~~~~

The way Chris’ face lights up when he sees Eddie waiting for him in the front office is enough to thaw the ice in his chest for a minute. He can hear the exact octave his mother’s voice would reach if she heard about him pulling Chris out of school for “no good reason”, but he also could not give less of a shit.

He feels a little bit more like a person with Chris in the backseat. That’s a good enough reason for him.

They set up camp in the park near their house, Bobby’s food and extra snacks Eddie picked up spread out between them, and Chris fills Eddie in on all the things he missed while he was working. He tries to focus on everything — Chris’ excitement about his upcoming science fair, the Sour Patch Watermelon sugar stuck to the tip of his nose, the way his hands move with his words. Eddie feels better, more settled, just getting to bask in the sun and in Chris like this, but he still feels heavy, like every move he makes has him fighting against gravity, threatening to pull him into the dirt. 

There’s a crack from the playground in front of them, and Eddie’s blood turns to ice. He’s halfway to standing before he sees it’s just some kids snapping sticks in half to build some kind of log cabin. He lets out a slow breath as he sits back down and wills his heartbeat back to normal.

Chris is staring at him, eyes intense and brow furrowed, very similar to someone else they know.

Shit.

As soon as he’s settled, Chris moves to sit in the criss-cross of his legs. He’s a little too on the lanky side for this anymore, but Eddie’s absolutely not going to complain. Chris twists until he’s looking Eddie in the eye. Eddie does his best not to look away.

Chris rests a hand on his cheek. “It’s okay if you’re feeling bad,” he says. “You can talk to me about it, if you want.”

The crack comes from Eddie’s own heart this time. His kid has been through so much in 10 short years, and it’s only made him wiser than he should be, compassionate and understanding and open, ready to be there for anyone without a second thought. He’s good in every sense of the word, and Eddie’s in awe of the fact that he, somehow, has something to do with that. And the last thing he wants to do is lie to his son, but he just...can’t. Talk about it. Not now. Not yet. Not in a way that will keep Chris this good.

He has no way of articulating all that, so he just wraps his arms around Chris’ middle and squeezes him close.

“I know, buddy. Thank you. I’ll be okay, and we’ll talk soon.”

It’s not a lie, but it’s not everything.

It seems to be enough for Chris, though. He nods and pats Eddie’s face before reaching into his backpack and pulling out a library book. “Well, I’m gonna read to you until you feel better, just like you do for me.”

It’s the first real smile Eddie’s cracked in months. He kisses the top of Chris’ head, settling his chin there as Chris leans back into his chest.

“Sounds like a good plan to me.”

They sit there for a while longer, Chris reads to him about Percy and Annabeth and Grover, and Eddie, inexplicably, feels a little bit lighter.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buck’s Jeep is parked outside when they get home, and Chris practically breaks down the door to greet him. It looks like he’s gone all out, too — Chinese food on the table, the promise of cookies and cream ice cream in the fridge, and a list of movies that Chris ecstatically agrees with as Buck lists them off. Chris hurries off to change and clean up for dinner, and Eddie moves to start opening plastic lids and cardboard containers. 

“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble,” he says. He leaves out just having you with us is enough.

Buck waves him off. “Anything for you two.”

He could leave it at that, keep up the comfortable silence as they move around the kitchen in tandem, but there’s a nagging memory that he has to ask about or he’ll never stop thinking about it.

“Didn’t you have a date with Taylor tonight?”

Buck tenses ever so slightly, a container of dumplings shifting in his hand. “Cancelled,” he says with a shrug.

Eddie knows there’s more, but Chris comes back before he can ask, and it doesn’t feel like a conversation they can have in front of a 10 year old. So they eat, and fall into the familiar banter between the three of them, and for half an hour, Eddie can be present. He can forget the last six months and the weight still hanging off of him and live in this moment, with the two most important people in his life, and pretend that this is all there is. Just these two and their joy and warmth that wraps around him tight enough to make him feel alive again, if only for a little while.

Two bowls of ice cream and one and a half movies later, Chris is dead to the world. Buck carries him to bed and Eddie tries to ignore the new ache that’s sprung up of the course of the evening, the one that wants and pulls towards Buck like a magnet. The one that almost purrs when Buck settles back on the couch so close they’re touching from ankle to (good) shoulder, contentedness washing over the living room as they find a rerun of The Shawshank Redemption playing on cable. It’s not perfect, there’s still a roiling in his blood that won’t seem to leave him alone, but he feels better than he has in God knows when.

Buck shifts closer to Eddie, eyes glowing in the light of the TV, and Eddie never wants him to leave. “Thanks for coming tonight. I— Chris and I both really needed this, I think.”

“I told you, anything for you two. Always.”

He ignores the way his stomach flips and tries to focus on the movie. He gets about five minutes of peace before another thought comes back, still nagging him, mixing with his anxiety enough to actually force him to say something.

He aims for cool and casual. “So, you and Taylor...everything okay?”

Buck gives him a very long, almost challenging look before turning off the TV. Seems he missed that casual mark. “I should be asking you the same thing.” “Very funny.”

“I’m not trying to be. I’m really worried about you, Eds.”

“This isn’t my first time getting shot, I know how to handle it.” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as bitter as it does, but he can’t bring himself to care, either. He doesn’t have the energy to keep a filter up anymore.

“Eddie, I’m serious.”

“I’m fine, Buck,” he says sharply, and he’s surprised his teeth haven’t fallen out of his head yet with how hard he’s lying through them. He hates that he’s lying to Buck at all, but those smiles he’s gotten used to have been fewer and farther between recently, and he knows it’s his fault. He might feel like his own seams are coming apart, but he’ll be damned if he rips Buck open too, even if it means pushing him away from his mess. “You’ve got a life and a girlfriend to worry about, I’ll figure everything out on my own.” 

“I don’t.”

“What?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend. We broke up.”

Eddie pauses, curses the faint hope that sparks in his chest. “Why?”

“Because I’ve been a little distracted by someone else for the past few months. It didn’t feel fair to her to keep it going.”

He gives him another long look, and Eddie might be a little dense when it comes to things like this, but that look breaks through loud and clear. This is it. This is real. This is everything he’s wanted for the past six months — and probably longer than that — but now that it’s happening, it doesn’t feel right. Buck was happy, free, finally settled into his own skin, and it’s all gone now because of Eddie and his stupid, broken everything. He knows he won’t be able to give Buck everything he needs, at least right now, but Buck needs to know that too. “Buck—”

“Nope,” he says with a firm shake of his head. “I know you’re gonna try and blame yourself for this somehow, but…don’t. It was bound to happen anyway. Because you’re right, I do have a life, but it’s you two. You and Chris. That’s all I need it to be. That’s all I want it to be. And I hate that it took so long for me to figure out, that it took you getting shot, but we’re here now.” His eyes shutter a bit as he looks down at his hands. “At least, I hope we are.”

And there it is. So simple, so easy, for Buck to admit this huge thing that Eddie thought he was dancing around on his own. The ease reminds Eddie, through his fog of sadness and anger and every other bleak feeling that’s been controlling him, that that’s what makes them work so well together. Honesty. Being able to show all their ugly, mismatched inside parts to each other and still find the beauty, the ways to help, the ways to hold each other together when they need it the most.

And Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever needed to be held together more than he does right now.

“Ask me,” he whispers, the sound seeming to echo around the room.

“Ask you what?”

“Ask me if I’m okay.”

Buck shuffles on the couch until they’re facing each other, takes both of Eddie’s hands in his. 

“Eddie,” he says softly, “are you okay?”

The world blurs as the tears he’s been fighting finally break free, but he feels strong. Brave. Like he can do anything now that Buck’s holding his hand.

“No,” he says, a crack in his voice but the conviction behind it still firm. “No, I’m not okay.”

The floodgates open, and he lets everything wash over him, all the things he’s been holding back, forcing away in the hopes that they’d just disappear one day. He’s floating and sinking and lost in the waves of it all, but strong arms wrap around him and pull him close, and there’s relief. Not a lot, not enough, but it’s there, for the first time since he woke up in the hospital. He feels safe here, with Buck wiping away his tears and pressing kisses along his hairline. He honestly forgot what safety felt like, was sure he’d never feel anything like it again. But he knew it that day he was bleeding out on the street, and he knows it now — it feels like Buck’s sweatshirt and smells like his aftershave and sounds like whispers of it’s okay and I’ve got you.

It all subsides, eventually, but Buck still holds him close, presses their foreheads together so there’s nothing else Eddie can focus on. His eyes are piercing, bright like Eddie only usually sees when Buck has a plan that refuses to be derailed.

“Let me help, Eddie,” he says, punctuated with a kiss on Eddie’s cheek. “I know you think you can do this yourself, but you don’t have to. I don’t want you to. Let me help you carry it.”

His voice left with the rush of everything, so all Eddie can do is nod before sinking back into Buck, into relief. Even that simple motion, the silent acknowledgement that he’s not alone anymore, is enough to let small seeds of hope sink into him and take root. They’re still weak, still unfamiliar, but they’re here, waiting to grow. 

And Eddie knows, with a certainty that he forgot he was capable of, that Buck will be here to help tend to them, no matter how long it takes for them to blossom.

~~~~~~~~~~

When Eddie wakes up the next morning, he still feels weighed down. There’s still an edge, an unease low in his gut, anxiety still crawling through his veins.

He’s not okay. But he looks over and sees Buck — breathing even, arm thrown over Eddie’s stomach, keeping him close — and the ever-present darkness fades from an angry black to melancholy grey. Not perfect, not even close, but better.

He’s not okay. He hasn’t been for a while. But now, finally, he feels like he will be.

[ravennm84]

Complicity

Hey everyone! Sorry I’ve been missing for a while, but I’ve had a lot going on and lacking inspiration, until the other day! I know that Lila thinks she’s the smartest person in the room and that everyone else it too stupid to figure her out. So, I decided to let her “think” she’s being smart, but gets caught because she did something stupid. Warm-Fuzzies and please enjoy!

Lila was happy. Since she had become a model, she had acquired a small fan base of people that thought she had beauty and talent. Granted, it wasn’t as large as she thought it should be, but she had only done three photo shoots and had been mentioned in one magazine. But this was just the beginning; soon, all of Europe would know her name and reporters would be clamoring after her for pictures. 

But at the same time she was very angry.

This was because Marinette had been mentioned in the same magazine as her. And where Lila got a single photo that showed more of Adrien than it did of her, Maribrat had gotten an entire article and multiple photos about her designs and the collaboration she was doing with Style Queen Audrey Bourgeois since the woman had decided to stay in Paris. She had even looked at the girl’s website and saw that there was an actual wait list to receive one of her original designs.

Enraged that someone she considered to be plain, talentless, and all around lower in status than her, Lila started coming up with plans. She wasn’t about to share her spotlight with anyone, let alone Maribrat.

She was tempted to accuse the bluenette of stealing her designs and ruining her reputation, but since she had been designing for longer than Lila had been in Paris, that had too much of a chance to backfire. She’s thought of sicking one of her classmates/sheep to break into her house and destroy her commission projects, but that also had too much of a chance to backfire since they would likely blab if they were caught.

No, she needed a different type of plan. Something that would be farther removed from herself so nothing would blow back on her, but harsh enough so that even Maribrat wouldn’t connect what happened to her. It took a few weeks and a lot of planning, but she came up with something that would work. It had been the perfect plan, a way to get Marinette out of her life and the spotlight for good. 

All it took was some sweet talking one of her new followers; a large, burly boy named Henry that was a couple years older than her and not very bright. He would have done anything for her… including going after a “stalker” that had threatened to hurt her. She barely even had to suggest anything before the boy assured her that he would protect her at all costs. It even seemed to be working when Maribrat was suspiciously absent from school for a few days after Henry said he would “take care of it”.

It had been the perfect plan...

Until the police showed up. 

She had just gotten home when the police arrived, saying that she was wanted for questioning in an open case. They had already been in contact with her mother and Greta Rossi had promised them their full cooperation. Rather than risk looking guilty, Lila called her mother to make sure they were telling the truth before grudgingly going with them. 

When she got to the police station, she was met by her very confused and furious mother. This wasn’t the first time she had been in trouble with the law. There had been an incident in Rome where she’d been accused of pushing a boy, Simone, down the stairs, and her mother had been forced to pay his medical bills. She had made it very clear that if Lila caused any more problems at school, it would not be pleasant.

So there she was; sitting with her mother and a couple of police detectives that she didn’t recognize, who were giving her condescending looks. “I am Detective Cooper, and this is Detective Raimus. We understand that you have been made aware of your rights, correct?”

“Yes, multiple times. What is this all about? You can’t just bring my daughter in for questioning like she’s some common criminal.” Her mother said as she stared down the two men.

“Mme. Rossi, we need to ask your daughter some questions in connection to an assault that took place against one of her classmates.” Stated Cooper, a detective with a thick mustache.

“Are you or your daughter familiar with a M. Henry Mortaure?”

“I’ve never heard of him,” Lila lied with a shrug.

“Neither have I, who was attacked?” Her mother asked, suddenly worried about what her daughter might have gotten involved in.

“A Mlle. Marinette Dupain-Cheng, are you familiar with the name?” Asked Raimus, who looked a bit older than his partner.

Greta Rossi thought for a second before nodding. “Lila has mentioned her a couple of times, said that she was a bully. What about her?”

“The Dupain-Cheng residence was broken into a few days ago by M. Mortaure. He was armed and confessed to be doing so with the intent of killing Mlle. Dupain-Cheng.” Mme. Rossi gasped in shock while Lila was attempting to hide her smirk with a look of worry. “The Dupain-Chengs were not harmed, although the same cannot be said for M. Mortaure.” Cooper placed some photos in front of them on the table, gaining another gasp from Greta. Three of the man’s limbs were wrapped in heavy gauze, his face was swollen and bruised from a black eye and a seriously broken nose. 

Lila didn’t flinch when she saw the photos, but was now fighting a scowl at the knowledge that Henry had failed her. And since she was here in an interrogation room, it could only mean that the idiot had blabbed. But that didn’t matter, she could just say that he must be a crazy stalker who had somehow found out that Maribrat was bullying her and decided to take things into his own hands. After all, it wasn’t like she had called or messaged him from her personal phone. She had bought a burner phone with cash just for this occasion. 

“Despite being armed with a pistol, he never had a chance to use it,” Raimus stated as pushed one of the photos towards Lila. “He will require reconstructive surgery on his face from being hit multiple times with a rolling pin. His arms were severely burned when he fell into a fryer, it’s likely that he’ll never have full use of them again. Despite the burns, he attempted to go for a kitchen knife after being disarmed. That knife was turned on him and he ended up with a perforated lung.”

Greta looked like she was going to be sick, unable to look away from the pictures in front of her. But she eventually did, casting a harsh stare at her daughter. “Please, tell me you had nothing to do with this.”

Doing her best to fake her shock, she shook her head and pushed away the photos. “I swear, I had nothing to do with this. I don’t even know why he would do this.”

“We were wondering the same thing and discovered that he’s a fan of yours. He has multiple pictures of you, as well as Mlle. Dupain-Cheng. We suspected that he had been stalking you and came to the conclusion that he thought she was bullying you and decided to protect you on his own-”

“Oh no, that has to be it!” She exclaimed, skillfully faking shock. “Marinette followed me out of school last week and threatened me to stay away from my boyfriend. This boy must have seen her and decided to get rid of her.”

“If that’s the case, why are you questioning my daughter?” Greta pressed, not completely believing Lila but seeming to be coming around to her side.

“As I was saying,” stressed Detective Cooper. “We had suspected that M. Mortaure was stalking your daughter, until we got the warrant for his phone. It seems that someone, supposedly Lila, has been corresponding with him for many weeks. She had been flirting with him, sending him photos of herself, and then Marinette. She went on to tell him that Mlle. Dupain-Cheng was a stalker and had threatened her. M. Mortaure seems to have done what he did with the understanding that he was protecting Lila, at Lila’s own behest.”

“I would never do that!” Lila cried before reaching into her purse to pull out her personal mobile and set it on the table in front of them. “Check my phone, I never messaged him.”

“We have already checked your phone records against the one that has been messaging M. Mortaure, and found that the numbers did not match.” Detective Raimus said, and Lila watched her mother visibly slump from relief… but it was short lived. 

“We did, however, track the number to a burner phone that was purchased in cash from a gas station. We thought it was a dead end, but the person who bought the phone made a mistake.” Raimus continued as Detective Cooper pulled out his own mobile and dialed a number. “The person who bought it has kept it on, and it is currently active.”

Seconds after Cooper pressed send, a ringing came from Lila’s purse. Greta Rossi stared at her daughter in shock before yanking the purse out of Lila’s hands and pulling out a second phone from inside. When Cooper cancelled the call, the second phone stopped ringing. 

“What have you done?” She spat at Lila.

Panicking, she shook her head while looking around the room for an exit. “That’s not mine! They must have planted it on me when they brought me here! They’re trying to frame me!”

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” Greta screamed at her daughter, causing Lila to practically fall out of her seat in fear. “You convinced someone to commit MURDER for you! That makes you just as guilty as him!”

“But-but I have diplomatic immunity! I can’t be charged for any of this!”

“Yes, you can,” Greta said, her voice going cold. “I may be a secretary to the Italian Ambassador, which grants me immunity, but that doesn’t extend to you! I told you to behave! I told you to never cause trouble like you did in Roma after what you did to that boy that called you out on your…” Understanding washed over Greta’s features as her expression morphed from anger, to understanding, and then disgust. “That’s it, isn’t it? Marinette never bullied you. She knew about your lies and you set out to hurt her just like before!” 

Standing up quickly, her mother started pacing the room before looking back to the detectives. “I’ll still need to speak with the ambassador, but you can expect our full cooperation in this.”

“Mom, no!”

“What are the charges?” Greta asked, acting as though Lila wasn’t even there. 

“As Lila is a minor, she can be charged with Complicity to Commit Murder, the decision of sentencing is ultimately up to the judge. But seeing as she purposefully bought a burner phone to use and has also lied to the police, I wouldn’t hold much hope.”

~oOo~

The trial took longer than expected. At first, things had been looking up since her followers from class had come to act as character witnesses. All of them saying how wonderful she was, a great friend that did so much for them and everyone she knew,   and that she would never do something so terrible. That Marinette was just jealous of Lila, so it was better to take whatever she said with a grain of salt.

Then, the prosecution started their case. Showing evidence of Lila falsifying records at school, video evidence of her purposefully framing Marinette for assault and theft. As well as the communications between herself and Henry, encouraging him to kill Marinette. 

Her followers had still been a bit sceptical to believe what the prosecutor was saying about her, not wanting to believe that they had supported someone who would try to get another person murdered. But then came her past victims, many of whom her mother had never known about. Simone from Rome, Sara from Florence, Giulia from Venice, Daniel from Viterbo, and Sofia from Palermo. All of them testifying against Lila, many with screenshots of threatening texts from her, photos of ruined property and injuries she had inflicted on them, and all around proof that Lila was the reason behind many hardships that had happened to them. And all because they had figured out that she was a liar and she had done everything in her power to hurt them.

After all that, the judge had not been kind. 

“It is clear, Mlle. Rossi, that you are a very disturbed girl in need of help,” the judge said, not bothering to hide how offput he was by Lila. “I cannot, in good conscious, allow you to roam freely. Having seen that these habits of yours have not only been repeated over and again, but have escalated to attempted murder. I have no choice but to have you returned to Italy where you will be kept in a juvenile detention center until you turn 18, at which point you will be transferred to a mental hospital for treatment for no less than five years. At which point, you will be evaluated to see if you will be able to safely rejoin society.”

Lila was immediately escorted back to Italy in disgrace. Her name slandered across every newspaper and magazine across Europe for what she had done. She was now famous, with most everyone knowing her name and reporters scrambling to take her picture as she did her walk of shame out of the courthouse. She was finally famous, but for all the wrong reasons

In case you are wondering. Henry made the mistake of coming after Marinette when she was with her parents. Tom and Marinette were in the bakery kitchen and Sabine was at the front. Tom saw the gun and hit him in the face with his rolling pin twice. He dropped the gun but was still coming after Marinette, she tripped him and he landed in the frier, which had been turned on to make donuts, and splashed oil all over him. Sabine had rushed back in time to see a bleeding and badly burned Henry grabbing a knife, she did some wicked moves that resulted in Henry stabbing himself. By then, he passed out from the pain and the Dupain-Chengs had called the police. The officers that came were both impressed and terrified by what happened to the boy, but the surveillance footage proved that they were only defending themselves.

TAGLIST:

@2confused-2doanything @7-sage-7 @aadnrsstar @abrx2002 @awkwardromances @bayball @babylovebug18 @botanicalfoxx @caffeinetheory @cheshire5210 @chocolateherringtacofan @city-of-all-tunas @classycollectorreviewworld  @corabeth11 @darkened-flame @delightfulcookiesrecipespizza @fandom-trapped-03 @ghostmaster @iamblinkmarvelarmy @interobanginyourmom @izang @jesussavedevenme @kazedancer @kitten12113 @lady-phoenix-of-tardis @lilypotter2018 @lunataravler @maskedpainter @ miraculouslydumb  @nerd-nowandforever @ola-is-dead @pandacatxd @plushbookworm @plz-excuse-my-inner-ravenclaw @pheonix-biach @raiderofthelostbooks @ramos123 @rowanrouge @rowanyx @ren121 @seesea22 @seraphichana @sashakoi @shypeacekitten @tazer6787 @that-girl-sakea @thecrazyfantrollshasmoved @the-smallest-kittenz @tishwinchesterannabethjackson @t1dwarrior-of-earth @ulmban @with-forward-motion @wonderbat91939 @zoiechance

[doyelikehaggis]

literally anything for st hudson (the hc list!)

Oh buddy, that was a bad idea. See, now I'm going to do the entire SFW hc list simply because I Can and I Want to. (If anyone wants the entire NSFW list, I am also happy to do that.) Prepare yourselves!

1: Who cooks?

Finn isn't bad at cooking at all, he's actually surprisingly good, even if most of what he knows how to make are super basic meals with not a lot to them. They're good, and Finn really like cooking, he discovers when he really gives it a try. There's something about watching someone enjoy food that he's made that makes him all warm and fuzzy. Which is one of the reasons that Jesse is happy enough to let him do it - most nights. There are exceptions, like on days where Jesse isn't working but Finn is, and on special occasions. Then Jesse is allowed to take over because he knows how to make Fancy and Complicated meals.

2: Who's the messiest? The cleanest?

Finn doesn't mean to be messy, he's just not a very organized person most of the time, and he doesn't realize that he has left a trail of everywhere he's been until someone either points it out or he finally notices for himself and has to tidy up. To then repeat the cycle again. Jesse is only marginally cleaner; he has legit, medically diagnosed OCD (not canon but to me, it is because I say so), and he is organized in his own chaotic mess. It may look like everything is all over the place, but he knows the exact location of everything in each pile, so it's not a problem for him.

3: Who fixes the vehicle after a breakdown?

Finn, without a doubt, is ready at all times for any kind of breakdown. Working at Burt's shop helped him out A Lot with that, so if anything goes wrong with their car, nine times out of ten he knows what the problem is and how to fix it. Jesse has learned to just stay inside while he fixes it so that he doesn't stress him out with his own anxieties (he has a slight fear of something going wrong with a car while he's in it).

4: Living space has a leak! Who fixes it?

Neither of them are plumbers, but as it turns out, Jesse knows a thing or two about fixing things in the house, so he takes the lead with that one while Finn wants to call in a professional.

5: Who buys the groceries?

It's a mutual chore but Finn enjoys it more than Jessie does because he gets less stressed out from being in stores, so it's really more a case of Jessie making a list and letting Finn actually get them. Finn doesn't mind because it's weirdly calming to him; probably because he would go shopping with his mom for groceries as a child and she always made it fun to cover up that they couldn't afford to buy much.

6: Going out to eat - Who pays? Who orders the most food? And who has dessert?

They always split the bill or take it in turns for who pays. If Finn paid on Friday, after getting his paycheck from Sue, then Jesse pays next Sunday. Finn used to not order a lot when they started dating due to a mixture of insecurities, but as he got more comfortable around him, he started ordering more. They both have dessert, though sometimes Jesse will pass on it because, in his words, it doesn't look vegan, so Finn usually ends up eating both their desserts.

7: Would they go to the beach?

The nearest beach to Lima is like two and a half hours away, so they don't really go Often. But when it's just warm enough that they're not passed out from the heat and Jesse isn't worried about "getting all kinds of skin problems and diseases" and some of their other friends are going for a day out, they tag along. It's nice but they would be just as happy having a day out like that at like... a theatre. Or a park. The actual beach aspect itself isn't so appealing to either of them.

8: Who knows how to swim? Who doesn't?

Finn was never really interested in swimming growing up and he didn't really think it was that important so he just kind of... never learned. His limbs don't cooperate with him when he's just standing upright, he hardly thinks they'd work any better flailing about in water. Jesse, on the other hand, was put through swimming lessons from the age of three, so he's like a fish when he's in water.

9: Is someone multilingual? Do they try to teach another language to the other? How does it go?

Jesse is more than likely fluent in at least one other language. I think he's actually fluent in three, including English, with the other two being German and Italian. He is an obnoxious little shit sometimes and just casually speaks to Finn in both languages, knowing full well he can't speak a word of either of them. Admittedly, Finn... kinda likes it. But he's not telling him that.

10: Any pets? Or plants?

They have a Maine Coon that they found as a kitten in an animal shelter when Sam dragged Finn to come look at dogs with him. It was really small but had been abandoned and Finn couldn't resist, as scared as he was of it clawing him in his sleep. He wasn't aware they grew quite so big. Plants are a no go, though, Finn can only remember to look after himself and the cat, and Jesse isn't a fan of the unnecessary chore of caring for a plant.

11: Baths or showers? Together or separate? Any bubbles or bubble fights?

They are both the kind of people who love a nice relaxing bubble bath at the end of a long day. Those they like to have separate, which really just means that while one of them is actually in the bath, the other is just sitting in the bathroom with them, chatting away to them. Many bubbles are thrown. Showering together is Difficult, but they try it once or twice and it's not Awful. It's definitely an experience, but they tend to shower separately.

12: Can they stand silence? Who talks the most? Who talks the least?

Finn loves comfortable silence, and that's usually what it is with them. He likes just being able to sit on the couch and do something quietly while Jesse lays with his head in his lap or vice versa. Out of the two of them, Jesse is for sure the bigger talker, but even he enjoys the peacefulness of just being with Finn.

13: Who stays up late? Who sleeps the most? Does the other have to force them to sleep/wake up?

They both have relatively normal sleeping patterns; they wake up around the same time, they go to sleep around the same time. Their routine is good. Of course, sometimes Jesse needs extra motivation to get up in the morning, so Finn has to get creative after Jesse gives him a sleepy but stern ten-minute lecture on how caffeine in the morning isn't good for the human body - only to steal Finn's cup of coffee when he comes back to bed with it.

14: Who is the highest maintenance? Does the other mind?

Of course Jesse is the highest maintenance. He's a drama queen, he makes everything into a big deal even when it's not. But he also balances out when he's around Finn, who knows how to counter his theatrics with logic and rationality.

15: Vacation ideas - who decides them? Where would they go, if anywhere?

Jesse is in charge of vacations. Less stress for Finn that way, and he knows what he's doing with the research. They don't go anywhere too fancy, because Jesse understands Finn would rather save money than waste it, so they compromise. A weekend in New York to visit their friends. A two week trip to LA to see Mercedes on tour and stop in on some of Jesse's old buddies. Their most expensive trip is to Disneyworld, and that's solely because it was for Brittany's twenty-first birthday and she really wanted to go. They had way more fun than either of them are willing to admit

[mars-writes-yandere]

Request: I have a request for the Maid! AU. What if Ciel hired an actual servant to help the phantomhive trio since they’re kind of morons.The new maid is very good at her tasks,but unlike all the servants,she has no combat skills and couldn’t hurt a fly if she wanted to.After an attack on the manor leaves the new maid injured,Bard,Finny,and Mey-Rin feel a sudden urge to protect her from all harm.The protective urges soon becomes so strong that they don’t even let her leave the manor to buy groceries,unless one of them is with her.Bard even stops using dynamite for cooking out of fear of hurting the maid.(You could make the servants have romantic feelings or just platonic ones if you want)

so i decided to make them have platonic feelings i hope that’s ok!!!

Warnings: drugging, kidnapping

Word count: 1.2 k

It wasn’t your dream job to be a maid but it paid the bills. Your mom is deathly sick and you needed to pay for the medication but your father refused to pay and your brother was too little.

You slipped on the outfit and grabbed everything you needed before venturing on foot to the phantomhive manor. It wasn’t too far away since you also lived outside of the city. You had moved there with your mom and brother after her and your father broke up.

It was a bit scary walking through the forest so early in the morning while it was still dark out. The head butler had offered you a room but someone needed to take care of your mother since your brother was still in school.

Arriving at the kitchen door (which you had been instructed to as to not wake the young master) the smell of something burning filled your nose. Throwing the door open smoke hit your eyes making them water. You quickly ran inside towards the sink and grabbed the nearest bowl, filling it with water. Finding the fire you threw water on it, making it go out.

Once enough smoke cleared out of the kitchen you opened some windows to air the room out.

“Thanks um.. I thought that using the flamethrower would make things go quickly.” A voice said from the door.

You turned around to see a tall man with fluffed up blond hair with black specks in it and a face covered in ash.

“Um sir…i know i’m new and probably shouldn’t be saying anything but maybe don’t use the flamethrower? you could have put a lot of people in danger.” You said twiddling your thumbs. You didn’t want to upset a possible superior in your first day

“I agree with y/n. Baldroy you shouldn’t be using the flamethrower as I've told you many times before.”

You looked past the blond man to see the head butler, Sebastian, standing there. Sebastian looked at you and gave you a polite and thankful smile before looking back a baldroy and glaring.

Once Sebastian was done yelling at Baldroy he left the room, presumably to wake the young master up.

“I’m sorry you got scolded…are you ok?” You asked the man

“Oh I'm fine, it happens a lot, are you ok little miss? I hope you didn’t get hurt. My name is Baldroy by the way.” The man, Baldroy said.

“Oh I'm totally fine! And it’s nice to meet you baldroy i’m y/n!” You said with a big smile.

Baldroy was always one to make rash decisions so to make the decision that he needed to protect you, even after first meeting you wasn’t a big surprise. Baldroy smiled at you before hearing finny and mey-rin come into the kitchen.

“Oh! You must be the new maid! My name is finny!” The young boy said coming up to you, shoving his hand in your face.

“O-oh it’s nice to meet you finny and that’s mey-rin! I’m y/n'' you said, shaking his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, yes it is!” The woman you presumed is mey-rin said.

“It’s nice to meet you and I hope you enjoy your time here!” Finny said, pulling you into a strong hug.

“I agree!” Mey-rin said joining the hug

Bard just nodded his head but smiled non the less.

Your first week at the manor was nice to say the least. Everyone was pleasant and nice, except for Sebastian who seemed a little standoffish but you didn’t mind.

You didn’t see the young master a ton since you mostly worked with mey-rin since she was the clumsiest according to Sebastian. You didn’t mind it though, she's sweet and tells you stories about the different adventures she’s been on with the other servants. Your favorite is probably the one where they met pluto and angela.

Speaking of Pluto, he had warmed up to you pretty quick. Whenever he’s inside the manor he’ll always follow you around and sit by your side. It’s a little weird having a full ass human sit by your side as you're doing work but like he’s not naked so you can’t really complain.

“y/n baldroy is going to cook dinner tonight can you keep an eye on him?” Sebastian asked, kicking Pluto out of the house.

That’s another thing you’ve been doing. Keeping an eye on baldroy when he cooks because for some reason he doesn’t use the flamethrower when you’re there. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to bother you? Who knows.

“Yeah of course Sebastian! Just let me finish putting the china away. Do you want me to do anything while I'm in the kitchen?”

“No, just keep an eye on him, that's all.”

You nodded your head, finishing putting the china away before entering the kitchen.

“Hey there y/n!” Baldroy said, setting the flamethrower he had in his hand down.

“ I’m doing good!! I hope you’re not planning on cooking with that.” You joked sitting on the counter.

“Not while you’re here.” Baldroy said under his breath

“What was that?” You asked tilting your head.

“Nothing!!!”

After you left the manor and the young master went to bed, mey-rin snuck into baldroy and finny's room

“So we should go over the plan one more time. “ Baldroy said

“Right! So after y/n’s shift is done we ask them to stay for dinner and then we slip this in her drink!” Finny said holding a small vile of some white power in his hand.

“That’s the plan, yes it is!”

“What if we get caught by the young master or sebastian?” Fuming asked, biting his nails.

“They won’t catch us.” Baldroy said confidently

The next day after the day was over you started gathering your things before mey-rin stopped you.

“Y/n! Why don’t you stay for dinner?”

“I really shouldn’t-“

“Aww c'mon y/n!” Finny asked popping out of nowhere

“I guess-“

“Great!” Finny said, pulling you into the kitchen, sitting you down on one of the chairs .

Baldroy brought a glass of a red color substance that you presumed is wine over to you.

“Thanks but i don’t-“

“Just drink it y/n.” Baldroy said in a stern tone.

Scared, you drank the whole thing in one gulp before smiling weakly at him. Baldroy gave you one of his bright smiles in return because leaving the kitchen.

You could hear whispers from your co-workers coming from outside the kitchen but you didn’t care. You were starting to feel dizzy and tired.

Stumbling out of the kitchen you slumped against finny who looked at baldroy and mey-rin worryingly.

“Is this what’s supposed to happen?” He asked in a hushed tone.

Baldroy just nodded his head with a stern look on his face.

“Guys? what’s going on?” You asked now putting all your weight against finny who was able to hold you up with no problem.

“‘This is for your safety y/n yes it is .” Mey-rin said with a regretful look on her face

“Did you guys….drug me?” You asked, your words slurring as you struggled to keep your eyes open.

The last thing you saw before you passed out was the three servants giving each other a look before turning their attention back to you.

[couldyouspeakmyname]

Heyy, hope you are doing well! I'm so happy to have stumbled upon your blog and I absolutely love the content on here.

I was thinking if it would be possible to know how the shishigumi lions would react or interact with a trans-guy melanistic Jaguar.

They are absolutely my favourite and your ideas are just perfection <33

I'm sooooo glad you like it! Thank you so much ;-;

I did these based on a platonic relationship, but I can always do a romantic one if you'd like to send in again!

(I’m also including Trans!Free because I never get to write him, and this headcanon is popular and I have been looking for an excuse)

-Maeve

Ibuki

Ibuki hasn’t seen someone like you before. He’s honestly just impressed you’ve lived this long without being killed for your unique fur

As far as you being trans. Ibuki is fine with it. Honestly, what concerns him more is the fact that the Madaragumi may go out and try to recruit you. They have spots, you have spots...

Please don’t join the Madaragumi, Ibuki would hate to have to kick your ass since you seem so cool

Assuming you begin to hand out with the Shishigumi, they introduce you to Louis. Ibuki, of course, is very worried about if you two will get along

Ibuki is probably the one who makes sure you take any meds/hormones you need

Honestly? Who needs a timer/alarm when Ibuki is so on top of it

Free

Trans friend!

If you’ve gotten the surgery, Free is going to want to compare scars.

Do you want a tattoo so you can show off how good you look? He can design one for you

He doesn’t have a lot of people to talk to about this kind of thing, so he asks you what you’re taking and how to makes you feel.

If you haven’t had the surgeries you need to feel comfortable, you can expect Free to recommend some good surgeons

If you end up as an unofficial member of the Shishigumi, Free probably starts a fund for any medical expensive you may have/will have. He wont tell you about it, and Dope just pays your bills without tell you. Surprise, you’re debt free. 

Gives you a LOT of shit for your spots, he can’t help it, he’s been fighting the Madaragumi too long. You’re not the same species, but you still got spots. He’d not doing it to be mean, and if he hurts your feelings, let him know and he’ll back off

Probably looks out for you more than the others. He’s liable to get into fights if anyone looks at you sideways

Dolph

He doesn’t care about anything but your loyalty to the Shishigumi. They’re a gang, after all. 

Since you’re one of their assets, he’s going to be nice to you at first, however, it doesn’t take long for him to start looking after you like he does Agata

Dolph makes sure you’re fed, drinking water, and not getting into anything that may get you killed

No knock off medications from a guy in a trench coat. Dolph makes sure your medications and supplies come from somewhere reputable. He uses Free as a point of reference

Dolph is initially suspicious on if you’re going to bail and join the Madaragumi, but his fears are quickly put to rest

If you do try and bail, he’s not going to be happy. As long as you’re loyal, Dolph will take you under his wing

Agata

Excited to meet someone new

He doesn’t get a lot of chances to meet new animals, given his line of work

You’re almost instantly part of his friend group. Agata is very open and likes to give animals the benefit of the doubt. You being a jaguar doesn’t bother him

He hopes you like playing games, and doing things outside ‘business’. It’s be nice to have someone he can just relax with

He likes to take you around the market, just chatting and showing you around

Miguel

He makes sure that you’re eating healthy, and that none of your food choices are interfering with your medications

Miguel makes sure you have a diet that will work well for you, and is the one that probably nags you to take care of yourself

He’s not much of a talker, but he does sort of become a big guard dog

No one says anything to you, or about you, as long as Miguel is around

Sabu

Out of all the lions, Sabu may be the most paranoid about you

He’s just been in the gang for a long enough times, he’s always prepared for treachery, especially since you’re a jaguar. You have spots, and so do the Madaragumi. Why are you hanging out with lions?

Agata and Dope are the ones who eventually calm him down enough to really get to know you

After that, Sabu just keeps you company. 

Probably teaches you to shoot, if you don’t know how to already

Jinma

Knows a lot about you almost a day after he meets you

Jinma uses his sources to find out your background, and uses that to judge if you’re trustworthy or not

Once Jinma judged that you’re trustworthy, he’s perfectly fine with you

If you have any sort of problems he can help with, he’s there if you need him

Dope

Dope asks you a few questions when he meets you, but after that? He’s fine with you

Dope can read your body language, so it doesn’t take long for him to trust you

Like Agata, he likes to wander the market with you

Dope wants to know how managed to come to the market, and your story

He’s a good listener

Hino

Is here to dress you up, should you let him 

Between your spots and dark pelt, he’s found himself a new project (if you want)

Hino isn’t very energetic, so a lot of your time with Hino is either shopping, or watching TV and just relaxing

Hino isn’t shy about complimenting you to build your confidence

He also quickly learns that your spots limit your fashion choices, but he takes it as a challenge 

[aggravatetheaxe]

hi I’m absolutely obsessed with your writing atm but also would you mind sharing any more info on your ocs if you have it?? I wanna know more about pris (and whatever tf happened with her and michael in the past)

YES i would love to tell you more about pris. this ask made me so happy, i cant even begin to tell you. i always worry people don't care about my ocs but they mean so much to me

she is one of my most favorite ocs of all time, it's just i've been so hyperfixated on house of wax i haven't gotten to write much about her and michael - BUT i really want to and i probably will eventually

tag

some quick facts about pris:

priscilla catherine tate

born in 1958 (im terrible at having concrete birthdays for my ocs but maybe she's a virgo? not sure)

5'6", pear shaped (& gains weight and keeps it on after giving birth to audrey), pin-straight dark brown hair (gray when she's older) and dark gray-green eyes, long nose

american of irish and english descent

not religious; raised non denominational christian

aromantic spectrum, bisexual, but not inclined to go out and meet people; puts more weight behind blood relative connections

when she was a child, she and her parents were involved in a bus accident and subsequent fire. she was 7 at the time and was one of the only survivors

early onset depression and mental illness because of this traumatic event, which eventually led to a dissociative disorder, specifically a form of cotard's syndrome

her illness was manageable through therapy and medication but she believes she can't die because she's already dead

was fostered longterm but never formally adopted. doesn't feel a huge connection to her foster family though

has been both an inpatient and outpatient at various mental health facilities in the area for years; the mental health community of haddonfield and the surrounding area knows her pretty well by the time she's 20

nihilistic, prone to shutting down and appearing "emotionless" because of her anxiety (but that also means she can Get Shit Done when she has to), actually could be a deeply caring and wonderful friend if given the chance despite being a wet cat of a woman

showers 3-5 times a day because she fears her body decaying, so some obsessive compulsive tendencies. if she can't shower when she wants her neuroses become exponentially worse, which is one of the reasons she does much better as an outpatient

has a sphinx cat named soup

doesn't have many aspirations for life, understandably, since she thinks she's dead; however, still needs to pay bills, uses her mental health community connections to get herself a job in the healthcare community, becomes an RN

bounces around from healthcare jobs to secretary work to cleaning jobs, etc etc

hobbies include: puzzles (esp word puzzles), board games, miniature model enthusiast but no talent for it, absolutely adores just sitting back and listening to some old country (her FAVORITE) or 40s-50s music

now when it comes to michael, it would all depend on what timeline we're talking about. and for the record I don't really like RZ Michael so this would all be OG

if we're talking Carpenter's reboot (Halloween 1978 -> Halloween 2018):

michael and pris knew each other in passing from some mental health programs when they were younger, when loomis was still Trying with michael. basically a classmate type of connection, so they recognized each other but didn't really know each other?

she was living in outpatient/government housing at the time of the babysitter murders

michael kind of staggered to her govt housing neighborhood after being shot by loomis. michael's a creature of instinct so his first is survive -> prey

wound up staying with her because 1. she didn't call the cops on him 2. she's dead, there's nothing behind her eyes; she wouldn't be interesting to kill. we see time and time again that michael doesn't kill someone unless he's interested in them/likes how they are and wants to see them die or if they are in his way and she was neither. there's nothing exciting or interesting about killing something that doesn't care about dying

life finds a way! audrey was conceived ~3 months in

they lived together for a full year without being detected. but michael likes halloween, so while pris was at the hospital giving birth (on halloween!!!) he snuck out and decided to kill some more people (fun)

he was caught this time, as the whole town was on guard

pris was thoroughly inconvenienced by this, and also a bit sad because he had been her companion and she had gotten used to him. anxious as hell because now she's a single mom (thankfully she's very experienced with navigating government programs and was able to help herself pretty well)

managed to finagle weekly or monthly visitation with michael by going over loomis's head; this became much easier after loomis died, and they got even more privileges. knows sartain very well at that point

because of this, michael never forgot who she was. she has a connection with him

they just seem sort of drawn to each other, almost supernaturally. it's like she provides some weird equilibrium...and she doesn't ask anything of him, doesn't want anything from him. he's just in her life now

michael's parents don't speak to her and audrey (and eventually they die)

she and michael are never technically married but she considers him her partner, probably the closest thing she will have (or would ever want, she's quite aro) to a husband; she refers to him in that way often

people who know about her and michael think she's fucking insane. how the hell did she even survive that? most people don't know, though, and audrey takes her last name. it would be very hard to be a myers in haddonfield

she and laurie do know each other. she has nothing in particular against laurie but she did need to get a restraining order against her. it's unfortunate that laurie hates her because i think they'd be friends in another life

she doesn't have anything against people especially and doesn't particularly want michael to murder folks, but she's smart enough to know she can't stop him

when it comes to other timelines, such as the thorn timeline... when the curse gets involved, i figure she has to have some supernatural connection to it, but i'm not a huge fan of the thorn timeline, so i haven't smoothed that out!

@waxhouse and I have a fun crack type au where all the slashers live in the same neighborhood and there pris is:

best friends with amanda, jason voorhees's wife

audrey's mom obviously

part of amanda's book club but she never reads the books and it drives amanda insane

gets her weed from bubba sawyer

bo sinclair's object of lust and fear (she hates him and his vibes)

on good terms with freddy and pinhead (she and the Girls go to brunch with pinhead all the time)

always the designated driver (she hates driving tho and avoids it)

that one friend that you're sure hates you but actually has deep deep affections for you, they're just quiet