#also soda is so funny. hes just a silly goofy guy. who now is having a crisis about not wanting soda

[helpimtrappedinthetextbox]

Alright

*rubs hands together*

Time to talk about my Just Roll With It: The Suckening Theory about Shilo and Emizel

Fair warning? Spoilers for those who haven't listened yet and mildly unhinged thought process pulling apart really small details

Please know I've chewed on these for so long, it's like the piece of gum Violet has in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Don't believe it cuz it hasn't been explicitly stated? Dunno how to help you there, simply a Dumbass Moment™

First and foremost, let's simply get it out of the way, yes, they're twins

Imma be focusing more on the situation surrounding them being where they are and who they're with

Base Work:

All of these theories revolve around it not simply being a one night stand type thing, that the parents met somewhere, were together romantically for a while then ended up having kids either accidentally or intentionally

Theory 1: Divorced Family of Four

Basically a Parent trap type situation goin' on here, Parents get in a fight, twins separated at birth, they meet when they're older, and if the podcast is going a more humor based route, maybe getting the parents back together

Personally, I'd score it a 4.8/10, giving points for the humor aspect, but seems unlikely due to how the queen was keeping tabs on Emizel but Jeffery didn't seem to recognize Shilo

Theory 2: Temporary Living Situation

Essentially, when the twins were born, seeing that one was more predominately either Human or Vampire but they couldn't safely raise them in the same household, for fear of the other side being exposed to their respective society

So the plan was to raise them in their own worlds, then when they were fully grown up they'd introduce them to each other, and give Emizel the option to join Vampire society, Jeffery probably will also Turn when Emizel does

Rating this one a 6.3/10, does g really explain when the mom didn't want Shilo to talk about the stuff, again, Jeffery not recognizing Shilo, the mom not reaching even though theyre both adults (at least by human standards)

Theory Three: Uncle Dad

This one takes a bit of a different take. Alright, so starting off, Jeffery isn't the actual Dad, he's the twin brother of the Dad. Now, you may think that specific connection is random, however I promise it's not. Twins is a genetic trait, in order for twins to be born it has to come from one side of the family, in this case, the dad's side. However, I think the dad and Jeffery weren't in contact, or at least not in constant contact. Not a malicious thing but more of an 'talking didn't take priority' type deal. Now, I don't think the dad is still alive for this to work, he probably died a short while after the twins were born.

After the dad died, the mom didn't have the ability to keep up with both twins, one being a human child that she wouldn't have a clue where to start with, thus she reached out to the brother, whom the father would have mentioned a few times probably. Probably explaining as much as she could without giving away the whole Vampire thing. She asked him to raise Emizel. And she did it in a way that would allow him to live a completely normal human life. She gave up seeing her son ever again so that he could have a happy human life. Which would be why she kept constant tabs on him, to make sure he was still safe and alive. Which would be why she didn't want Shilo to look into it or even mention it. Which was why she was crying when Shilo was leaving the castle in his Frenzy, because she lost the love of her unlife and her son in quick succession.

It would also explain why Jeffery didn't recognize Shilo, because he didn't know Shilo existed. Or the Queen would have had to mention why she was able to keep one child but not both, or at least why she couldn't keep both children in her side of the family.

This theory has a rating of 8.7, it seems the most likely as far as the two episodes have presented so far, but there's no telling if it'll hold up for the rest of The Suckening. I personally think that with the evidence we have now it'd be quite the interesting turn and would explain some of the odd plot holes of "Jeffery not recognizing Shilo" and Condi's mention of "a few months after birth" in regards to how long Emizel has known Jeffery, which was quite interesting.

Not Theory related, but if Grethgor isn't alive after what happened at the end of 2, bc I don't trust that Sheriff as far as I can throw him, I'mma be screaming, crying, throwing up, because how the Sheriff worded it made it seem like the order stayed the same but worded different to appease Shilo.

Also, shout out to @cant-think-to-save-my-life for listening to my theories, even the unhinged ones, and listening to me be hysterical when I'm having a new theory, and also when I'm hysterical about if Grethgor is alive or not, put up with a lot out me, but they signed up for it to be fair ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[mcbeetlebeeb]

Perchance if your requests are open then I would like a modern reader with homestuck characters of your choosing?? If not that's ok you don't gotta if you don't wanna. Have good day

Hii, sorry for the INCREDIBLY late response, trying to remember how to use tumblr BUT YES I shall deliver 👍 thanks for asking question, I'll be doing the main four (ФωФ)

(and- hopefully I understand your question cause I'm ready to do this in head cannon platform- so??‐ 🫂 take it my friend)

⛅️John Egbert🎭

*deep inhale* NERRD

sorry, moving on

seems like the sorta guy to know fnaf lore, like all of it, I can't elaborate further

also he wears totally normal outfits with stupid stupid socks,,

silly socks, the dumbest you could imagine

I think at some point he'd be the mfker with some tape or a bandaid around the middle of his glasses to keep it together

hes a one pillow sleeper 😔

and by that I mean he has one singular pillow on his bed smh

he atones by sleeping with stuffed animals though

mfkin creepy ass light sleeper

and I say that cause I can fully imagine someone trying to get something while he's sleeping or even trying to wake him up

and he just sits up, all the way, no glasses john, eyes open all the way not groggy or confused

get this MAN SOME BROWN EYE CONTACTS!!

FUCK I THOUGHT THATD MAKE IT SMALLER HER FACE IS HUGE

no going back tumblr is already so confusing, sorry anon I tried to be funny now she's here

anyway..lord..

I think he'd forever go to bed at like a super specific time, and if he messes that up he feels wrong the next day

and that's all he'll tell you, "I feel wrong"

touch of the tisim probably perhaps maybe

listen his dad collected shaving cream and harlequins and clowns and stuff-..

I don't think he has freckles but more so little body moles speckled around his body

goofy smile, silly laugh, catch him snorting and slapping his knee n shit

tries to push up glasses with the nose scrunch thing, makes him show of his messes up teeth

an endearing young punster.

I definitely think if you'd be down, he's 100% the person too have nerf gun wars

something and John Egbert and a foam dart makes sense

and for some reason i connect that with bubbles

rip John you would've loved fruiter aergo

maybe, maybe more low quality photos of it though because idk

he has a strange love for...what's the word...

hmm.. eccentric things

he just holds them dear, think it's in his blood

who knows if that's a good or bad thing

expressive

I think you'd have to be, blind, deaf, mute and impossibly stupid to miss his body language

or just a meanie(?)

regardless not emotionally verbal, or at least not often, or- as much as he should

but physically shows it

like..for example if he was in a crappy mood, you'd be able to tell, and he'd confirm if you asked

and with him being expressive i would think comes with..what's the word again..uh..

responsive?

reactive?

especially to words, or touch

when he gets red, he one of them people to get red EVERywhere.

ears, down to the neck, shoulders, forhead.

dude looks like he's gonna pop a blood vessel any moment lmao

he'd be the person too have like reddened knuckles and stuff, cold hands, will press the cold hands into you for warmth

if he were to smell like anything, vanilla, faintly, all smells on him would be faint I'd like to think

☀️Rose Lalonde🔮

honestly my favorite to draw-

she is wrighting so many silly things for and too you

poems?

happening.

long strangely war letter back home love letters too you

they probably are never shown-

maybe unless you look or perhaps ask

she'd be...the best person to gossip over a drink with

tea, coffee, alcohol, water, soda

I think she'd be a mfker to sleep with socks

it's okay on some level cause they're socks she made herself

I also think not just gossip but she's like- she's a seer of light cmon-

she knows stuff

I think she may not look like it but she, is the ultimate yapper

and silly

silly Rose justice

shes a goofy goober too guys

there would be no way she's not

look at her friends

I think she'd like her hair to be pet sometimes

play with it gently, braid it for no reason

type of person I can see too sit with you on the porch as it rains

reminds me of mist and.. morning dew

chilly autumn mornings

where you can see your breath

shes one of them Halloween people

i just know she appreciates a crunchy leaf

*knits you this*

YOU SIZED OBVIOUSLY

also gloves

why not

stay warm

she'd want you too

she has dimples

both lil cheek dimples

I think she'd be someone to ponder her partner often

like, seeing a candle and going "oh perfect, you've found me here as well!" but she's in the middle of some store lol

or reading something, thinking about that phrase and linking it too you or something like that

something strangely meticulous

carefully, honestly, thought out.

shes the person too either meticulous take the time to paint her nails right

or paint them all fucked up, and then clean them up

leaning more towards the latter

am I saying that right?

she would smell like

mm, cold linen, and books, book smell

🌠Jade Harely🐾

ah yes

doggie

shes a sweetheart though

albeit a clumsy- narcoleptic one

she means well

most times

she has all the hair

everywhere!!

find her brushing herself

maybe???

maybe space powers debunk hair needs

I dunno probably pffhfhh

toothy smile

big toothy grin

I like to think she has braces

convincingly can bark and growl (before and after bec merge thingy)

probably got even more convincing dog bark talents

sit down with her and a good coloring book

entertainment for hours

she'd be up for most anything I bet

would possibly be bored laying around lounging

something tells me she'd have a thing with buttons

all shapes and sizes and materials

just- checks out as a Jade thing yknow

same with silly bands

somewhere there is glitter on this girl I'm convinced

maybe more earth glitter (dirt) than any other

but like, 🤷 I dunno man

can I pet dat dawg?

yes, pet the dog, dog longs for human contact

scratch that

contact

overall

shes just lonely, forgive her lack of "norm" social skills

brotha grew up on a damn island, with her dog, and stuffed grandpa

stuffed grandpa

I'd be a lil weirdo too

anon, I'm gonna tell you this now..

I've never read the books all the way threw, and I own 3 out of idk how many

so forgive me if this...- out of character

dirty nailz..

yknow how some big dogs have that mindset that they are little lap dog puppies?

her

oh you thought it was gonna be a lil head rest?

a lil lean?

no

blanket mode.

snuggle time.

accept it, at least for a minute.

I cannot explain why and I won't but, she gives me road runner vibes

just..yep, that's jade..harely..

what am I doing dude tf

also..don't ask me why, she would smell like pine, dirt, soil if you will, maybe lavender too, or more something..sugary? cinnamon?

am I making sense

⚔️Dave Strider📀

uughhh what haven't I said about this dude

hmm

I'm trying to remember what I wrote before tumblr rudely disrupted my wrighting and made me go back to the beginning

well let's see

eotushuf

here me out

this but on him

and it's soft blonde and and

there's spots that are missing from scars

and they go down to his hand,, and fingers

the hair on the side of the hand, you know what I mean

also has missing little patches

broad..finge nail

chews his nails

hhe.. uu h out of all of the four, probably the best to lounge around with

laying around

what's the word

parallel play?

being able to comfortably do yalls own thing in the same place

without a lot of talking

rhhrrgg

hes the type of person to 100% do the three hand squeeze thing

iykyk... (squeezing someone's hand to wordlessly say, "I love you")

and if you respond verbally, or even just squeezing back

he'll face away and do it back again

epitome of "putting on sunglasses so no one knows what I'm looking at"

you at you

he has..like stupid peripheral vision and uses it to advantage

I cannot say why but, he definitely has funky cool ties

just does i feel it

also, crackley

cracking his knuckles, his neck, back

when he stands it's like fine machinery sounding

clicking and popping in knees and hips

blonde

...eyelashes..

rough palms and scar knuckles

he smells like- a well slept on pillow ina good way- and also maybe

faintly of apple juice, carton apple juice..

guys this is buns, I'm so sorry truly, I'm also..so sleepy..😔

anon i hope this was right, and..to your request, I hope u have a good day (*^▽^)/★*☆♪

[daegutowns]

svt as brooklyn 99 characters

tags: b99 au, i am obsessed, i’ve been rewatching this series for the 600th time now, only 80% accurate, i stretched it a little bit

thank you to alice (koogyv on twt) for the amazing thread that i highly interacted with as inspiration. there are many similarities. i expanded upon it more.

this is my take: 

det. jake peralta 

hoshi 

“i wasn’t hurt that badly. the doctor said all my bleeding was internal. that’s where the blood’s supposed to be!” 

arguably, this is the best pairing made. he’s silly, hard-working, creative, and most of all -- he’s gunsta think about the turtles. even as a jokes-first seriousness-second type of person, jake is a thoughtful and caring person who would put himself down to save others. he’s sharp, perceptive, and great at deduction, but often discredits himself with his great delusion, playfulness, and childish nature. he’s a trendsetter and loves to joke around, and when he has a great thought, he’s going to put it into action. (“yeah, that’s right. i’m about to monologue, son.”) his favorite movie is die hard (hoshi as a shawol), is canonically broke (hoshi’s constant money loss due to him spoiling everything), and tries to annoy suspects into confessing their crimes. 

men can have duality. they can be serious and also put orange soda in their cereal. hoshi, as a Super Gemini™ knows all about it. he’s playful but knows when to be serious and takes his line of work very seriously. sure, he has some growing up to do and can immerse himself in a different role (horanghae <3) very easily, but he plays to his strengths and that of others with his determination and persistence. 

capt. raymond holt 

seungcheol  

“wait a minute. this isn’t the championship cummerbund. this is some common cummerbund. and, you’re not cheddar. you’re just some common bitch!” 

“this bitch? please. watch.” (to the dog, ‘some common bitch’) “shake… shake! psshh. idiot.” 

this is probably the most obvious and predictable choice after jake=hoshi. a born leader, full of wisdom, and no-nonsense… well, some nonsense is okay. captain holt is ambitious and looks after his squad with both care for their goals and their personalities. even though he may seem a little unapproachable or stoic, he’s actually a really funny and goofy guy. he laughs when he eats marshmallows (“a marshed mallow? don’t mind if i do.”) he’s very adamant about his passions (like john phillip sousa being the skrillrex of his day) and his a very consistent guy (ref. rock painting no. 367). he is sassy to the max and will tell you things exactly as he finds them. and he does NOT mess around when it comes to his dog. 

cheol, most of all, is the ultimate dog dad -- just like holt. cheddar is to holt like kkuma is to cheol. he spoils his dog, and he is proud of it. he’s someone who caters to the learning style that each person needs: stricter but with jokes for jake (hoshi), encouraging for rosa (woozi), detailed with a binder and written formalities for amy (seungkwan), and with actions (ref. the croque monsieur) for charles (dk). he’s attentive, thoughful, and silly at heart. 

det. amy santiago 

seungkwan  

“gross, rosa! those are our dads! i mean, that’s not what i think. captain dad is just my boss. never mind, i’m teaching father the math. whatever, rosa!” 

super badass, but also a teacher’s pet, know it all, and scrapbooking expert. may come off as super uptight or a buzzkill, but genuinely cares about the other detectives on the squad. when you have hella big aspirations, it’s not that unreasonable to see why competitiveness, sharpness, and intellect are his best traits. under all of the work-oriented personality, there’s someone who is ambitious, thoughtful, clever, and protective of the people he loves. it’s hard to not be so uptight and to let loose (as opposed to some totally scheduled fun!), and don’t make fun of him if he sucks and is horrible at it. (title of his sex tape.) 

seungkwan was my top choice, mainly because of his competitiveness with hoshi (jake) as svt’s most famous frenemy pair. there’s a lot of responsibility and workload that seungkwan carries and continues to put on his shoulders, which his members love and appreciate (just how the squad appreciates and acknowledges amy’s dedication to being a detective). things can get wild and crazy sometimes, which is why seungkwan just needs to recharge sometimes. 

det. charles boyle 

dokyeom 

“i got this low tag performance polo with moisture wicking technology. kept me dry all morning. and a dry boy is a smart boy.” 

if you’re looking for a supportive best friend who will always cheer you on, this is him. he’s a major foodie, he loves jake (hoshi), and his arch nemesis is sergeant peanut butter, who is a horse. he’s possessive and jealous almost as much as he is a superb friend, which is obvious by the way he instantly is suspicious of every other best friend jake (hoshi) can make in his life. (“don’t make any new best friends! haha… maybe you shouldn’t go…”) he gets jealous of many, like old beat cop partner stevie schillens, brian (?) from camp, and even cannibal jail cellmate caleb. also definitely dresses up as people from halloween that no one but him can understand. he is just someone that is the embodiment of living life according to his passions. very caring, thoughtful, and funny. 

dk was a good choice for boyle for me since he is super clingy and also is a supportive friend. even if he knows it’s silly or mischievous, he will play along. dk is relatively less prone to disgusting and gross sexual innuendos than charles, but is still super excited to share his jokes and hobbies. has a lot of holiday cheer and his down to be friends even after being turned down. 

det. rosa diaz 

woozi 

“plans are plans. i’m a badass, not an anarchist.” 

mysterious, a little scary, but reasonable and thoughtful. rosa is a character that’s easy to stereotype, though also arguably one of the more complex characters in this show. hard working is an understatement, and even though he may not be the most outwardly affectionate at first glance, rosa is super thoughtful. work comes first, but through the many trials and tribulations that life throws, business remains separate from personal… except the friendships. rosa went through the academy with jake (hoshi), so they’re really close. as much as jake jokes around and everything, they still trust each other and work with each other really well. (“diaz has been chuckin’ d-holes into my mouth since the academy.”) on top of that, is a bicon (bi icon). 

woozi was my go-to choice on this one. his demeaner seems a little intimidating (especially because of all his muscles now too!), but he means good. he gives off mysterious vibes, but he’s just figuring it out. now he is truly no-nonsense, and he makes sure others know this. he’s still down for the different personas and everything, but he lives his life by a strict set of rules. his neighbors think he’s emily goldfinch (woozi)… his coworkers think his name is rosa diaz (wooahae)… wait. what? 

sgt. terry jeffords 

mingyu  

“terry loves yogurt.” 

literally just a big softie that looks scary/big/muscular but is actually so babygirl. he’s so caring and loves the squad to death, always making sure that they have all the resources they need to survive. even when other captains come and go, terry is always there. terry loves yogurt, terry loves love, and terry loves foreign films.  kind of has a rivalry with boyle (dk) for strange reasons instigated by boyle himself, but is supportive nonetheless. (“hey, people like the way i look.” “sure they do, big guy.) he’s actually very well-educated (studied abroad in japan), is a great dad, and is always down to help others work out the right way.

this was such an obvious choice for me (with the only other option being cheol). mingyu is an inherently kindhearted person like terry, but also knows how to draw boundaries. he is someone who is worried about the safety of the people around him because he’s a family man, but also someone who loves to get down as vacation terry. also talks in the third person, but it’s okay since he’s hot. 

gina linetti 

myungho  

“aren’t you forgetting something?” [...] “no! pay your bill! damn, who raised you?” 

the human form of the 100 emoji. would be the perfect human president, based upon his skillset, dance ability, and bloodlust. he is the paris of people. has been jake (hoshi)’s childhood friend and went through high school with him. cares enough to steer jake (hoshi) on the right track (ref. brandon bliss) but to also enable him in their own goofy shenanigans (the DDC + the lacroix siblings). super smart and well-versed in the people around him because only gina would suggest savant (vernon), the hacker, to become their new IT guy. iconic entrepreneur. 

i know that hao is super humble, and gina says that being humble is her best trait. despite this, there is no one else who would love to not be involved with all this police nonsense (bc gina “does not listen to a lot of things you all [the detectives] say”) but also be relevant. she’s actually very street-smart, great at comebacks, and the ceo of her own company that she literally just made up. 

dr. kevin cozner 

wonwoo  

“that’s the oompiest oomph you’ll get.” 

prim, proper, and unhinged. he loves raymond (cheol) but most of all, allows love to prevail. works as a classics professor at a university, spends a sabbatical in france to enrich his teaching experience, and loves a good croque monsieur. would absolutely go off on jake (hoshi) if he gatekept a nicolas cage movie that's a period piece set in greece based on some dumb book. despite his no-nonsense attitude sometimes, he is still down to dress like a pervert to go to the library with jake (hoshi). also, super badass because he runs over seamus murphy with a car. 

i was kind of going for wonwoo’s quieter but more serious and studious vibes. i think super knowledgeable, especially about gaming and editing, while kevin is knowledgeable about classics like boetheus and the odyssey. both are super smart, sassy, and protective people. 

doug judy 

jeonghan 

“i sold a guy a fake pekinese. twas a cat.” 

he’s in and he’s out! he is there for the vibes and the elaborate schemes. he will outsmart everyone in the NYPD and get away with it. (many, many times.) one of jake (hoshi)’s best criminal friends but would still betray him every time. he would definitely lie and tell his family that he owns an architecture firm instead of being the pontiac bandit, and jake (hoshi) is his assistant mangy carl, whom he saved from a life of living on the streets selling his body. goofy and silly, but don’t underestimate him. you’ll always be one step behind him. 

i think jeonghan is definitely slick and goofy enough to be doug judy. above all else, jeonghan’s mind works harder than anyone else in mafia. just like how he immerses himself in different roles (and often makes them up) in don’t lie and bad clue, doug judy has transformed into many different roles in his life (cruise ship singer, architect, etc.) 

capt. jason stentley (CJ) 

jun 

“okay muchachos, let’s roll up on these muchachos!” 

great start, and love the double use of muchachos, jun. became a captain due to his extreme luck. he is just always in the right place at the right time. showed up to his first day in grey sweatpants because he “totally biffed it” and spilled hot cocoa on himself. introduced himself as ‘captain stentley’ but didn’t like how formal that sounded. ‘captain jason’ wasn’t it either, so CJ was the move. numbers are so crazy, and overall so, very supportive. he just wants to help. 

i was just thinking of someone a little silly and laidback. will be strict if you ask him to, but he’s honestly more there for the vibes. he can be a little clumsy, but i was mainly just going for the slightly airheadedness vibes and the lovable nature. 

det. adrian pimento

joshua 

“whoo… haha… hey chuck! it’s pimento.” 

just a little bit insane. it’s a side effect of being undercover for 12 years for jimmy “the butcher” figgis, but i digress. he sometimes still calls himself paul sneed due to being extremely traumatized. overall just a funny and great character. used to be boyle (dk)’s roommate and just found himself in his son’s closet at some point in time… got mistaken as a closet monster… just normal human things. (but he was also screaming with dk and his son.) has a very riveting, intense, and sexy relationship with rosa (woozi). 

this one was a little more of a stretch, but only because pimento is actually insane. all the years of ptsd has made him into a very strange person. josh is a little strange, and maybe he could be pimento if pimento was watered down into a lacroix. (like, the flavor is barely there.) there’s a distinct slight insanity that josh has (ref. gose episode the8 and the 12 shadows) that is hard to replicate. 

fire marshal boone  

dino  

“your only move is passing the ball to jeffords and running across the field.” “i’d like to see you try!” 

so done with the entire police department. will always be down for a rivalry or argument but genuinely a softie. just generally suspicious of jake (hoshi) and charles (dk) due to their antics and strong adherence to the rivalry. demands an apology because this is the fire department’s jurisdiction! all of that comes crumbling down though, when jake (hoshi) reveals his sad past with sal’s pizza…. but he still competes with jake (hoshi) on arresting the criminal in the end. some things never change.

i was honestly looking for someone who would love nothing more than to call out hoshi and dk on their BS and tomfoolery without enabling it and thought of dino. boone is a pretty lovable character for someone who is supposed to be a villain of some sorts, and it fits in pretty well with dino. plus, he’s the head of the fire department, kind of like how dino had to choose being the maknae of svt versus being the leader of a younger group. (kind of.) 

! vernon

okay i was genuinely very torn about who should be vernon, because i genuinely had a lot of different options. 

corey park (savant) 

hacked into a police precinct’s computer system just because he could. (he only exposed everyone’s search history.)  “it was like taking candy from a baby.” he was turned in by his mom, but fortunately now has a job -- courtesy of gina (hao). very intelligent and laid back

i saw vernon here because he definitely has a mischievous side. while his pranks and jokes are on the mild side, he’s definitely still a troublemaker. he’s down to work for the greater good. 

cheddar the dog  

“this isn’t cheddar, this is just some common bitch.” a very special someone. definitely is seungcheol and wonwoo’s child. loves wedding cake and is very well-behaved. extremely intelligent and loves participating in halloween heists. does not like being jake (hoshi)’s dog bra :// 

this was based on alice’s thread and was so funny. if cheddar were a human, vernon would be cheddar. the sass and intellect can only be matched by Thee hansol vernon chwe. 

other fun character pairings that i thought of: 

kkuma as cheddar the dog: two words -- so spoiled. also would be cheol (captain holt)’s baby. i digress. 

jun & dino as young hitchcock and scully: just two people motivated by helping the city. kind-hearted and brave people, who may or may not have gotten addicted to wing sluts while checking in on a witness that their captain screwed over by not putting in the witness protection program. outstanding people who became a lot more interesting, to say the least…. 

josh as madeline wuntsch: strangely tense relations with holt (cheol) due to their rivalry, but overall an outstanding cop. ½ of svt’s evil twins so you know he’s down for some evilness. oh raymond, i notice you haven’t done your time as a beat cop…. (if josh is here, who’s guarding hades???) may be a cheuksin, a korean toilet ghost who--

jun as mlepclaynos (the clay is silent): opens the door, is questioned by detectives, takes the picture of the suspect. he’s from neokrakagovia and celebrates dogs losing their virginity. jun definitely would! less because he’s weird and more so because he’s so kind and willing to go with the flow that it just happens. later says he’s not mlepnos. did you sell him horse blood? would you like to buy horse blood? he plays the violin beautifully. “guitar.” (ref. some day morning)

[pikaflute]

💕 and 💔 from that ask game !!

doing sam and max <3 also metalocalypse for the favorite character one as well.

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

For Sam and Max:

between Sam and Max? Sam. Initially, I liked Max cause we're soul bonded obviously but overtime I grew to love Sam more and more. He's so silly and makes really funny jokes and balances it out with his dorkiness when he solving cases. He's just a really funny and silly guy (dog) and I think he can be just as much of a menace as Max is. And I like 303. That is my answer to that statement.

For characters that aren't Sam and Max? If I say Superball would you guys hate me. Don't hate me. I just like guys who are all serious but have a silly side to them. I just like how he also is just....guarding doors. Unbothered king. Love that he got divorced and is canonically a dilf. Hot [EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER]

For metalocalypse:

Charles. Charles Offdensen is my wife. He is my everything. He is the light to my day, the stars to my night, the wind under my sails, and he is my world. Without Charles Offdensen I am but a husk of a person. Charles is literally everything. He's my special little boy. He's serious and cool when Dethklok is in trouble but also said shit like tally-ho! so he's so goofy and that means everything to me. When Charles broke the assasin's arm in the s1 finale I fell in love. When he came back to life WITH A SCAR? MAAAAN. The way he cares for the band and has sacrificed so much for them. It's good. I love him. I do. I think he should fence more NOW.

Anyway I love him. Look at him now.

("hey" you say, "this reminds me of-" I KNOW OKAY I KNOW. THE WORST PART IS BOTH HIM AND SUPERBALL HAVE A MUSIC NUMBER. I HATE IT HERE.)

I desire him carnally. That is my answer to that statement.

💔 tell us about one of your LEAST favorite characters and why you dislike them.

As for least favorite SnM character? Sam and Max obviously. Who else? They have ruined my life (and bank account) and they will haunt me for eternity. DAMN YOU SAM AND MAX [shakes fist at sky]

Also the soda poppers but I've erased them from my memory and canon. They don't exist to me anymore. Love won.

[missskzbiased]

Forget me not

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Oneshot, Drabble, Established Relationship! au

Pairing: Kim Seungmin x Fem! Reader 

Word Count: ~2,3K

Notes: The seventh fanfic for the Valentine’s request [That you can find here]

I don’t know anything about flowers language! So if it’s wrong, please blame google SUHAHUSAHUSHUAHUSA

Chan ||  Minho || Changbin || Hyunjin || Han || Felix || Seungmin || Jeongin

Masterlist

Requested: Yes, by 💎anon   [I hope you like it! I don’t think I’d ever think of something like scavenger hunt for a plot lol, so it was kinda challenging. I did like to write it, and I hope it meets your expectations! <3]

General Tag List: @channiewoo @aliceu @bythesunnotbythemoon

[If you wish to be tagged to the other Valentine’s requests, please send me an ask <3]

                                                       ///

    You pouted at your empty bed.

    You and Seungmin had planned to spend the day with each other, celebrating your fifth Valentine’s day together, and yet he was nowhere to be seen. You missed his warmth as soon as you woke up, a soft pillow under your arm instead of his body. You frowned, still kinda drowsy as you get up from bed, wandering around the house to look for him.

    “Come one, Seungmin! This isn’t funny” You whined in the middle of your living room, swiveling your head to get a clue but meeting nothing else than a pile of waffles on your table. You approached them, poking the warm and soft pieces twice, humming as you tasted the syrup… He wasn’t long gone.

    Maybe you should wait for him? Did he go out to buy some milk or something? Maybe he was trying to make you a romantic breakfast? You sat down, staring at the food before noticing a pink note attached to the plate. You would finally get some answers!

    I made you some waffles… This time I didn’t burn them! Haha. Please, eat well. I love you. Yours, one (first) and only Seungmin.

   You arched your brow, confused as to why Seungmin would scratch a correct phrasing to place a “first” there, but too tired to really care. You took a bite from the waffles, humming in appreciation. He did really get much better at this!

   You chuckled as the memory came back to you.

   The burnt smell spread all over the place, waking you up and alarming you. The panicked squeak that you heard from the kitchen didn’t help much to placate your fears, so you rushed there, stumbling all around the place. You would have expected anything but Seungmin standing in your kitchen ─ ashamed eyes snapping at you in a silent apology ─ with a plate of black pancakes, surrounded by a thin smoke.

    The first time he slept over and wanted to do you a surprise.

    You got better at this, hm? Didn’t even burn down my house this time! You messaged him, chuckling as you munched another piece, eyes fixed on your phone to not miss his answer.

    There is a first for everything! He answered, making you roll your eyes playfully. What a silly guy. Ready to come and meet me?

    I missed you here with me… You typed, pursing your lips as you sent him the message. Was it too cheesy? Are we going on a date today?

    First, you have to meet me! He said, and you almost could hear him giggling excitedly wherever he was. It’s Scavenger time, kitten! I promised you this Valentine’s would be really special, didn’t I?

   Scavenger as in a scavenger hunt? You chuckled, shaking your head in disbelief. And you’re my prize? How conceited… You mocked him, getting up from the table to go to your room and get changed.

    He didn’t answer your messages after that.

                                                          ////

     You crossed your arms over your chest.

     Were you being too naïve? You stared at the door unsurely, rubbing your chin in wonder. Seungmin was witty and he liked to drop subtle hints around… Were you being too conspirational or were you on spot? He wouldn’t keep repeating “first” all around if it didn’t mean anything, right? The “casual” choice of words was quite suspicious as well… He never called you a kitten before.

    Coincidence or not, the first time you met each other was here.

    A cat adoption center.

    The first time you met Seungmin, you were going to adopt a cat to gift your best friend. They just loved cats and you couldn’t help but think it was the perfect gift. You were right indeed, but up to this date, your friend joked around saying that Seungmin was the best gift they could have given to you.    

    You gathered your courage to get in the place, looking around to see if you could see him anywhere. He was nowhere to be seen. Unsurprisingly, though, Minho came right in your way, an amused smirk playing on his lips. You crossed your arms, narrowing your eyes at him.

    “Do you know what is this all about?” You asked suspicious of him.

    “No, Seungmin knew he couldn’t trust me with a secret” He chortled “The only thing I know is that he’s being cheesy and asked me to hand you this” He said, extending a small envelope to you.

    The first time we ever met… Do you still remember it? Although you can never let him know, I’m forever grateful to Minho for dragging me with him there. Even if his whole point was for me to see that cats were better than dogs. They’re not. You can tell it to him now if you want. Still, it is thanks to him that I ever landed my eyes on you. It’s also thanks to him that we got our first date… You know where you should be going now, right? No need to worry, no one will spill their soda on you!

P.S.: If it does happen for some reason, I didn’t plan it. Please don’t hit me.      

   You chuckled, lifting your eyes to Minho playfully.

   “Sorry, but cats suck” He scoffed at you, rolling his eyes.

   “He’s brainwashing you, Y/N!” He jokingly complained, poking your forehead, “Go away!” He whined, pushing you to the door “And if he asks, I didn’t tell anything about Hyunjin”

   “But you didn’t tell me anything about Hyunjin” You frowned, getting an unimpressed look from him “Oh!” You chortled “Thank you, Minho! It’ll help me a lot” You waved at him, getting out of the store.

                                                       ////

    This time you just walked confidently into the store.

    You looked around to find Hyunjin, already aware that Seungmin wouldn’t be waiting for you there. You peeked at the clothes displayed, chuckling as you remember your first date with Seungmin.

    Although both of you were nervous back then, Seungmin was a whole new kind of a mess. The way he got startled when his fingers brushed yours over the shared French fries would forever be carved in your mind as his most hilarious reaction to anything ever. Unfortunately, the soda he spilled over you would also be forever there on your favorite blouse… One could not only win, right?

    “Oh, you’re here!” Hyunjin smiled at you, walking your way “How is it going? Are you liking to play detective?” He chortled, looking for something through his pockets.

    “He’s being too cute for a simple Valentine’s Day” You pointed out to see if Hyunjin would give anything away but he just shrugged “Seungmin was always the hopeless romantic, though” You acknowledged, getting a humming from him.

   “I won’t tell you anything, I’m not Minho” He snorted.

   “Come one! I want to know what’s going on!” You whined.

   “Then solve everything and meet him!” He retorted playfully, handing you the next letter before walking away.

   I hope no one had spilled anything on your clothes today… If someone did, though, I have a surprise for you. Hyunjin should be back with it in no time. Even though that first date was a mess, I’m happy we had so many others after that so I could redeem myself. I had never been so nervous in my whole life, and I think deep down I already knew you were special. I know I’m the one who’s doing this to me, but I wish I could be there to kiss you right now. For me, every single kiss we shared was as tender and full of love as the first one… But the first was what brought us together, and I hope it will bring you back to me once more.

    You smiled softly as the warmth spread over your chest.

    You didn’t even need to try and get this out of Hyunjin… You knew exactly where to go now. You raised your eyes to meet a goofy Hyunjin showing you an outfit too similar to the one you wore on your first date with Seungmin.

    “Put this on before you go!” He chirped.

                                                        ////

    The bus stop was empty.

    You made your way to the bench, a sigh leaving your lips as you looked fondly at the place, a nostalgic Feeling engulfing you. The first kiss you shared was rushed and unsure, a bold way to make up for the words you couldn’t speak up. The insecurities were offset by the overflowing feelings that were enough to reassure both of your hearts.  

   You still remembered how you got on the bus, upset by the lack of attitude from Seungmin. Didn’t he like you? Because you sure as hell liked him! Couldn’t he just make a move? Anything? You sighed when you turned away, stepping inside the vehicle with nothing but disappointment in your heart. Maybe he didn’t like you as much as you liked him…

    Then it hit you.

    What if he felt just the same way as you?

    When you snapped your body to turn away and get back to him, he was already there to catch you. Apparently, the same thought had occurred to him, and his arms wrapped you up as your lips met half-way. The initially rushed kiss turned into a loving and tender one rather quickly as soon as you realized that both of you weren’t going anywhere.

    Well, except that the bus driver kinda needed you to go or stay.

    The ride home was filled with a cozy feeling as you nuzzled each other.

    You sauntered there mindlessly, sitting on the bench before looking around curiously, noticing a poster hanging on the wall. You narrowed your eyes in suspicion, noticing how familiar the couple on the picture looked like. It was you two. Seungmin held your hand, and it was painfully obvious how he was stiff and anxious there while you had no clue of what was going on, smiling brightly at the picture.

    The restaurant where he confessed his feeling for you.

    The place where both of you finally got together.

    You chuckled, knowing exactly what bus you should be riding right now.

                                                          ////

    Seungmin was waiting for you with a small flower.

    “You’re here” He stated quite awkwardly, and you couldn’t help but tilt your head in confusion. It sounded like he wasn’t happy to see you “You’re… You look amazing” He said emotionally, and you burst out laughing.

    “You don’t look bad as well” You teased, checking him out “I’d even say you’re the most handsome boyfriend I have ever met” You chuckled, getting closer to him to place a kiss on his lips.

    He didn’t let you.

    Seungmin extended his hand to you, shoving the flower in your hands.

   “What is it? Another clue?” You asked confused, looking at the small plant. You didn’t know much about flowers, but you recognized it as a forget-me-not. Only Lord knows why you would know it, though.

    “Y/N…” He cleared his throat, loosening up his collar “I brought you here today because…” He took a deep breath “Because here was the place I finally confessed my feelings for you” He finished, kinda proud of himself for managing to say that much.

    He took one step ahead, holding your hands on his.

    “I know you’re a big fan of Scavenger Hunts… But it wasn’t the only reason why I made this” He continued, a little bit more at ease as you smiled at him encouragingly “First, in this entire world… Meeting you was the best thing that could ever happen to me. Finding you? It was the right place and right time… And you’re the right person for me… On this scavenger hunt of life, you’re the only one I’d ever want” He pursed his lips.

    What did you do to deserve him?

    “I-I’m giving this flower to you…” He gulped down, eyes wavering as he tried to focus on yours “Because it means true love…” You cooed at him, expression softening as you felt your heart swelling “It’s to remember all those memories we shared… And how we’re here now, how our love grew with time… It’s to say that this isn’t a spark” He squeezed your hands, eyes finally fixing on yours.

    “Seungmin… This is beautif—“ You teared up, but he didn’t let you finish.

    “We had many first times together… And I treasure and remember every single one of them… They’re memories that I never want to let go” He continued, and you could feel his hands shaking “But more important than having first times… I want you to be all of my firsts and last times for everything… I want to have two, three, four… A hundred of experiences with you”

    He let go of your hand, wiping his hands on his pants.

    “I truly love you, Y/N” He choked, getting on one knee. You widened your eyes, startled by the slow yet too sudden motion, the tears immediately making their way to your eyes “There is no one else I want to share my life with… This was the place where I first asked you to be mine… And this is the place where I want to ask you to be mine till the end”

    You tried to wipe your tears away, face twisting in a crying frown that would look awful on the photos people were taking of you. It didn’t matter though. Nothing else mattered because Seungmin was on his knee, showing you a small box that contained the symbol of all your love and connection.

    “Y/N… Will you marry me?” He asked, tears rolling down his face.

     You would never even dare to say no.

[thepatricktreestump]

Crush pt1 - peter parker imagine

crush masterlist

part 1 - study hall

               Although none of the other girls in your class would agree with you, you were convinced that Peter Parker was the most attractive guy at Midtown High. He had stolen your heart from the very first day of AP Chemistry, confidently answering some basic questions concerning the structure of carbon compositions, and you basically swooned. You found smart guys unbelievably sexy, and ones who were humble were twice as good. Parker was a quiet kid, very sharp and sensible, but also friendly and courteous. Unlike the other boys at your school, he wasn’t loud mouthed and cocky, throwing outrageous parties and trying to hit on every girl within a five foot radius. It was refreshing to see a guy your age not be obsessed with copying down your homework or trying to invite you to a college frat party. Peter Parker was different, and you liked that about him. You liked it a lot.

            He kept to himself and two his friends mostly, MJ and Ned, which made you more interested in him and his life. Most days he either wore these adorable blue V-neck sweaters or these goofy science pun t-shirts that looked as if ordered in a bulk pack from Amazon. He was a proud member of the photography club, robotics club, debate team, and Science Olympiad. He was one of the smartest people you knew, and in turn, that simply made him the most attractive. Perhaps it was your father who had established your high standard in boys, seeing as he dabbled in astrophysics and technological engineering as a hobby. He was Ironman after all, being an overachiever was practically a household expectation. You were pretty smart yourself, and although it could be looked upon as rude or inconsiderate, the truth was you liked to surround yourself with others who either matched or challenged your intellect.

               Since establishing your crush on Peter Parker, you strived to spend more time with him. You told yourself you could start it off as a friendship with a silly crush and see how things went from there. Towards the end of the class one day, you were determined to talk to the boy. The plan was to ask him to go over some of his notes with you, maybe make it a study date situation, hope he didn’t call your bluff. It wasn’t that you didn’t understand the lesson, you understood everything perfectly fine. Hell, you could probably speak stoichiometry in your sleep. However, you needed a good reason to introduce yourself, so you hoped for the best and decided to take a leap of faith. Nervously smoothing your sweaty palms down on your thighs and gathering your books up from your desk, you walked over to where he was talking to his best friend Ned. “Hey,” you tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around, staring at you with his soft hazel eyes, brunette hair swept up neatly, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

               “Oh hi,” he gave a warm smile and nervously cleared his throat. “What’s uh, what’s up?”

               “I’m y/n, I sit over there,” you pointed out as an introduction.

               “I think I’ve seen you around. Aren’t you Tony Stark’s daughter?” he cocked his head to the side and you groaned slightly, ever the exhausted with being immediately associated with your father.

               “Yup that’s me,” you sighed. “Uh, anyways, I noticed you seem pretty caught up on this lesson and I was having some difficulty understanding some of the concepts, I was hoping maybe I could borrow your notes sometime? If that’s okay?”

               “Oh?” he seemed surprised, but flattered, blush rising to his cheeks. “Sure! Of course. I’m Peter by the way, Peter Parker.” He gave a nervous laugh and then shook his head. “My notes aren’t the neatest in the world but if you think they could help, I’d be more than happy to lend you them for a night or two.”

               “Thanks,” you nodded. “That would be great. I think I’ve seen you in my lunch period too, so I could always just return them to you before class then.”

               “Yeah, yeah,” he agreed. “Or uh, if you wanted, we could always hang out at the library afterschool and I could explain it to you. Protein structural components can get a little tricky sometimes.”

               “For sure,” you chuckled, realizing how lame you probably sounded laughing over chemistry. “I’m usually free afterschool, as long as you’re okay with it, that sounds great to me!”

               “How afterschool tomorrow?” he offered. “Just for an hour or two?”

               “Perfect,” you couldn’t help but blush yourself. “Thanks, Peter. Really.”

               It felt like your heart was beating out of your chest as you walked away, envisioning his adorable smile still in your mind. He was so sweet, and kind, and understanding. Pretty eager too. You had to stifle a laugh as you heard Ned slug Peter on the shoulder and whisper shout, “Dude! You just scored a study date with Y/n Stark!”

               “See ya, Parker,” you turned around and winked, walking out of the classroom and towards your locker.

               The next day in class, you kept glancing back in your chair to look at him, smirking to yourself every time you caught him staring back. He was shy alright, and nervous, but it made him all the more adorable. That morning you made sure to fix your hair up and put on a little bit of lipstick, and after being thoroughly interrogated by your overbearing father, you were able to get out the door in one piece. It wasn’t that you were overexerting yourself into catching his attention, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t hoping to have him compliment you. The rest of the school day, you caught yourself using the rest of your attention to calculate how much time was left until you could rush to the library and actually talk to him for once.

               “I thought you’d never show up,” you teased as he took a seat next to you at one of the tables, setting his backpack down on the floor and sighing.

               “Me either,” he groaned. “Ned wouldn’t stop bugging me about this being a date.” He gave a nervous laugh and turned to you, but you weren’t laughing. Instead you looked at him, smiling sweetly, unable to resist your temptation.

               “It can be a date,” you shrugged, opening up your textbook and waiting for a response, only to catch him dumbfounded, struggling to find words to say.

               “Oh, I mean- I-” he stammered and you chuckled.

               “I’m just playing with you, Parker,” you playfully reassured. “Now come on, open up those science notes so I can take a good look. I’m still lost on the GPCR structure similarities.”

               “That’s what doesn’t really make sense to me though,” he mused, doubtful as he instead swiped your notes across the table, reading them over and pointing at your diagrams. “I think you do. All of these are mapped out perfectly, and your comparisons are spot on.”

               “Well there’s no harm in getting clarification,” you replied, trying to grab back your notes but he held them out of your reach, narrowing his eyes. Peter didn’t buy it.

               “Why do you need my help, y/n? You’re literally the smartest girl in school. Your father is Tony Stark for heaven’s sake, you don’t need tutoring,” he insisted. “If anything, you should be tutoring me.”

               “You?” you scoffed. “Pete, you’re varsity on every academic team there is. No way.”

               “I just don’t get it,” he admitted. “Why’d you ask for my help? It’s obvious you understand the lesson perfectly fine.”

               “Well…” you blinked at him, shocked at how quickly he had seen right through your cover. “I uh, I don’t know.” Your face turned a bright shade of pink and you began to feel queasy. “Can I be honest?”

               “Of course,” he nodded, concerned but also curious as to what you had to say.

               “I just wanted an excuse to talk to you,” you confessed, embarrassed. “I always see you around and you seem so smart and you’re a part of all these clubs and teams and I don’t know…”

               He looked surprised, almost confused, but then smiled. “Me? Why me?”

               “I dunno. You seem really sweet.”

               “Thanks. You too.”

               “I was thinking maybe we could be friends? If that’s not too weird or-”

               “No, no that sounds, that sounds great,” he insisted, clearly flustered. He looked up at you, eyes sparkling, lips curled up in a smile. “You could’ve just asked you know.”

               “Yeah I’m uh, I’m clearly a fool when it comes to those kinds of things,” you laughed nervously, scratching the back of your head.

               “Well, since we’re here anyways,” Peter decided. “Want to do homework together instead?”

               “Sure,” you agreed. “That sounds great.”

               Both of you spent the next couple of hours solving Gauss-Jordan elimination matrices and memorizing resistance series equations. In a lot of ways, Peter Parker was just as much of a nerd as you were. It was comforting to know someone’s brain worked the same way yours did, excited to be challenged with theorems and calculations, determined to find solutions and build upon your already established intellect. When the library eventually closed, you walked to the cafeteria vending machines and grabbed some chips and sodas, exchanging conversation and making each other laugh with stupid jokes.

               “Sit at my lunch table tomorrow,” Peter invited after having added you on snapchat. “MJ and Ned will be there, and you can bring some of your friends if you want too.”

               “Okay,” you grinned. “Count me in.”

               Walking home, your entire stomach was filled with butterflies. Things couldn’t have gotten better. He was genuinely funny, and clever, and really sweet too. You hoped and prayed things would go well between you two. Practically skipping to the elevator, you tried to hide the stupid smile on your face in hopes that your dad wouldn’t pry too much. However, you instantly cringed when you heard JARVIS’ voice greet you as the doors slid open and you reached your floor.

               “Good evening, Miss Y/n. It seems that you have finally arrived home from school,” he chirped and you groaned, knowing what was to follow. “Your father has requested that I alert him upon your arrival, he has been inquiring about your whereabouts-”

               “Yeah, yeah, I know JARVIS,” you mumbled, setting your bookbag on your chair and frowning. “I came home late, I was at study hall with a friend.”

               “You are approximately three and a half hours late from your usual arrival,” JARVIS informed.

               “I am aware,” you insisted yet again, noticing your dad march towards you from a hall. Part of you was surprised he even noticed you were gone at all. Most of the time he was either out with the Avengers on a mission or cooped up in the lab working on a new project.

               “And where were you afterschool, young lady?” he inquired, arms folded, peering at you above the rim of his glasses.

               “I was at study hall with a friend,” you repeated, chewing at your lower lip, trying to play it off. “It took a little longer than I thought it would, I’m sorry.”

               “You couldn’t give me a call at least?” he asked, annoyed.

               “I didn’t think you cared,” you shrugged.

               “Well I’m your father, so I do,” he argued and you nodded, growing quiet and waiting to hear whatever scolding you had coming to you.

               Sometimes you wondered why he was constantly on your case. Maybe with him being an Avenger and all, always exposed to threats and danger, it translated to him being constantly worried about you. You knew it was just cause he cared, but at times, it did get a bit overbearing. You’ve learned by now to just nod your head and respond with “yes dad” and “I’m sorry dad” interchangeably.

              “Much less, why are you all dolled up?” he looked you up and down in disapproval. You glanced down at your skirt and sweater, remembering the way he had inquired about your hair and makeup this morning. He wasn’t wrong. You rarely ever put any effort into your appearance when it came to going to school. You usually threw on some jeans and a hoodie and made your way out the door. “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were trying to impress someone.”

             “I’m not,” you lied, rolling your eyes. “I just felt like changing it up today.”

            “Uh huh,” he drew out. “Twenty bucks says your little friend at study hall was a boy.”

            “Dad!” you whined and he smirked.

            “That’s all I need to know,” he threw up his hands defensively, secretly proud of himself. “Hey kid, get your homework done and then meet me in the lab. Bruce has a project for you concerning some Dijkstra’s algorithms that are right up your alley.”

            “Lucky for you I already got my homework done in study hall,” you pointed out. “So let me grab a snack real quick and I’ll meet you down there.”

            “That’s my kiddo,” he smiled proudly. “See ya in a bit.”

[princecharmingmendes]

Paris | Day Two

When your parents decide to travel with your best friend’s family that you haven’t talked to in a while, who you have a massive secret crush on, what could go wrong, right? Right?! (best friends to lovers)

*Word Count: 2,5k

*Warnings: cursing, drinking, and I guess that's it.

*Posted: December 12th, 2019. 

      day one

                                                         -*-

Sleeping is amazing. Probably one of the best things on the planet. And I swear to God that this is one of the comfier beds I’ve ever laid on, and I would spend the whole day laying on it. And that’s exactly why I completely ignored Shawn alarm on the other room and nuzzled my face even more in the pillow I was hugging tightly, zoning off again.

“Y/N?” Someone I am going to murder somewhere outside my room called and I only groaned in response.

Silence. Also something great to add to my sleep.

“Oh, c’mon, Y/N, get up” Shawn’s voice said a lot less muffled by the walls, sounding almost as if he was in here with me “honey?” This time I felt his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it lightly, and that’s when I opened my eyes.

Shit, this isn’t a dream, he’s in here.

“Hm?” I only hummed in response, closing my eyes again.

“Get up, we have breakfast”

“Mhmm”

“Since when you’re that hard to wake up?”

“Since this bed is nice and I’m tired” I said with the sleepiest voice possible, and I’m pretty sure he couldn’t understand everything in that sentence.

“Okay” he said and I was already happy that he was going to give up on me and leave me, but than the mattress behind me sunk with his weight and I felt him getting under the duvet with me.

“Whatcha doin’?” I groaned annoyed.

“Making sure you’re getting up” he said wrapping his arms around me and pulling my back flush against his chest, making me hold my breath involuntarily.

“Mhm” I said closing my eyes again, but when I was about to fall back asleep, his hands lifted my shirt a little to expose my stomach and started tickling me, making me shrink against his chest, trying to avoid his hands, bursting into laughter “no, no, no, no, no, please stop”

“Say you’re getting up and I’ll stop, baby”

“Please, Shawn, please stop”

“Just say the words”

“I’m getting up, please” I said whining between giggles and trying to breathe all at the same time, and the tickles stopped magically.

“There you go, honey, see, that wasn’t that hard” he said chuckling softly and placing a kiss at the back of my head.

“I hate you” I said trying to catch my breath.

“I know you don’t, now turn around for me, honey” he said and I did it, regretting instantaneously.

Okay, nothing new when it comes to me saying that he’s the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever met, but seeing him like this is just cruelty. The room was not bright enough for me to see the details, the only source of light was the door between our rooms since he had already opened his curtains. But even like that, he could kill someone. His hair was a mess, his curls were everywhere, his face was lightly flushed, he wasn’t wearing the hoodie that I saw last night, making my mouth go dry with the sight of his bare -built like a god- torso, but still looking so soft since he just woke up.

“Hi” I said extremely softly, scared to say anything else that could ruin the moment, where I was laying in his arms, his body warmth making me wanna stay forever like this.

“Hi” he said flashing me those perfect aligned teeth “good morning, honey, are you ready to get up?”

“I wasn’t, but now I am” I said getting out of his embrace and sitting on the bed, rubbing my eyes “do you know what’s the plan for today?”

“I guess we’re going to the Eiffel Tower and than grab lunch, and maybe later to a museum of something like that”

“Okay, I’m gonna shower and get ready, the one that gets ready first goes to the other room?”

“Deal” he said getting up and going back to his room, closing the door lightly, not locking it.

It took me around twenty minutes to shower and change into my outfit for the day when he knocked. I was sitting in the sink applying some make up with the bathroom door opened and some Britney Spears song playing in my phone.

“Come in”

“Hi, honey, ready?”

“Almost” I said applying the fifth layer of mascara carefully to not look all stuck together.

“Okay, he said and threw himself on the bed again.

Five minutes later I left the bedroom and grabbed my cute winter boots, putting them on and patting Shawn’s leg for him to get up.

“Let’s go” I said grabbing my purse and tossing my phone and keys inside it.

So we went downstairs to have breakfast and we met my sister and Aliyah, so we ended up eating together. And forty minutes later we were walking to the Eiffel Tower with our parents and laughing. We ended up taking amazing pictures, and Flo convinced me and Shawn to take those cute couple pictures to copy one that was right beside us, which resulted in cute pictures but extremely funny memories.

Then we had lunch and headed to Musee d’Orsay, where we got to see amazing artwork and obviously, more goofy pictures. After that, we got to the subway and got to the hotel pretty quickly.

“Okay, kids, we’re too tired to leave and go somewhere to eat something, so we’re going to our rooms and meet here tomorrow? We’re going to Versailles Palace at 10”

“Deal, goodnight” I said as they got in the elevator.

“What are you guys doing? I don’t feel like dressing up and shit, but I still wanted to go somewhere and grab something to eat” Flo said and Liyah nodded.

“We could go to that market on the next block and grab some stuff and eat upstairs” Shawn said.

“That’s actually nice, dude” I said and he stared at me.

“Hm, okay, I’m just going upstairs real quick to change my shoes, these are killing me” Liyah said.

“Oh, I’ll go with you, my phone’s dead”

“Of course it is, you spent the day listening to music, how could any battery last, Flo?”

“Kiss my ass, Liyah”

“Language!” I said as both got in the elevator and Flo just gave me a cynical smile “do you want to go upstairs or... what?” I asked as a noticed that he was still staring at me with a funny expression.

“Did you just ‘dude’ me?”

“Hm, yeah, I guess, what’s wrong?”

“‘Dude’? Seriously, Y/N?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“I’m not just your dude!”

“You’re not?”

“No! I’m... I’m... I’m more special than that! I’m your best friend!”

“I know that, sweetie, of course you’re more special than that, but why can’t I call you dude?”

“You can, it’s just, oh, forget it”

“Shawn... it would be weird if your girlfriend called you that, but I’m just your friend”

“First of all, I’m single, just for the record, and second, you’re much more than just my friend, you’re you!”

“Okay, sorry for calling you ‘dude’, Shawn” I said giggling to cover the butterflies fighting to get out of my stomach.

“Okay, I’ll forgive you if you give me a hug” he said and I just wrapped my arms around his middle, laying my head on his chest and he did the same, rubbing my back up and down, making me wanna melt in his embrace and just stay there forever.

“You’re cute” Liyah said approaching with a huge shit eating grin in her face.

“I know” Shawn said flashing a cocky smile.

“Wasn’t talking about you specifically, but you both, as a couple” Liyah said rolling her eyes.

“We’re not a couple, kiddo”

“But you could be” Flo said winking.

“Not really, we’re best friends since I was born basically, he has a girlfriend, and we don’t have this kind of feeling for each other”

“Honey?”

“Hm?” I said leaning my chin on his chest, to be able to look at his face.

“I’m single”

“Oh, sorry, but anyway, hmm... we’re just friends”

“Yeah, we are just friends, Liyah”

“Can we just go? I’m starving” Flo said.

“Sure, let’s go” Shawn said grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the lobby and to the street.

“Hey, be careful, I’m not a doll”

“Sorry” he said giving me a sheepishly smile, scratching the back of his neck.

“It’s okay, big guy”

“What are we eating again?”

“Maybe we could get a few croissants and some cheese, and wine, I don’t know”

“That would be nice” Flo said smiling “some chocolate too, right?”

“Yeah, sure” Shawn flashing her a smile and Flo chuckled.

“That’s why I love you, Mendes”

We reached the market pretty quickly with light chatter and giggles, and Shawn kept me incredibly close the whole time. Like, literally, he would never let go of me. If I was trying to reach the top shelf, he would come from behind me, lay his hand on my waist and then grab the thing for me. And this is just driving me insane. Especially now that I know he’s single. Shit.

So we ended up with a few different types of cheese, bread, chocolate and candy, and of course, we bought soda for our sisters and three different kinds of wine. Obviously not all for today, but maybe for different occasions, and they were all cheap, so whatever. We headed back to the hotel and went back to our bedrooms to shower and change into something comfier.

About an hour later we were all gathered up on Shawn’s room, spread on the fluffy rug near the balcony, so we could see the tv and the beautiful view his room had. We were on our second glass of wine and stuffed with food, laughing about silly stories of our early lives. I was laying on the ground, with my head on Shawn’s lap, Aaliyah was leaning with her back against the wall and Flo was laying on the ground with her feet against the wall.

“So... everyone here is single?”

“I guess so”

“Guys! This is the first time in years that this happens!”

“Hm, yeah...? Should we all cry together to celebrate how we are all alone?” Flo said chuckling.

“You’re so dramatic!” I said laughing

“She’s your sister, of course she is”

“Shawn!” I said smacking his chest playfully.

“What? I’m not a liar, baby” he said with his face a little flushed due to the wine, and suddenly, the room fell incredibly quiet and I could feel all eyes on me.

“So, we are all single, we should go out sometime, like we used to do”

“Yeah, we definitely should!” Shawn said grinning.

“Okay, sure”

“Everybody shut up, I love that movie!” Flo said rising from where she was sitting on the floor, moving to the spot in front of the TV while Coraline played on the background, making everyone chuckle.

“Honey?” Shawn said barely a whisper a few minutes later, starting to play with my hair.

“Hm?” I only hummed in response, closing my eyes.

“My back kinda hurts, do you mind if we move to bed?” He asked softly, still running his fingers through my hair and I just shook my head and sat, getting up and crawling in his bed.

“You’re making yourself at home, right, Y/N?”

“I’m tired, Florence, fuck off” I said nuzzling my face deeper into the pillow.

“Where’s your room? Why don’t you just go to bed, we don’t mind if you’re that tired”

“It’s the one beside his, through that door” I said pointing to it and they both eyed me curiously.

“Really? Isn’t that funny?”

“What’s funny?” Shawn said sitting beside me with his back against the headboard and placing my head on his lap again.

“The fact that you too are inseparable again in less than 24 hours and extremely touchy, and your rooms are next to the other, I mean... you guys would look amazing together” Liyah said turning back to stare at us and I could feel my whole face burning.

“Liyah, we’ve always been this way, that’s just us, okay? We’ve been best friends forever, and she clearly said that is literally all she’s ever felt for me, so just drop it, okay?” Shawn said and I sat up to just stare at him.

“What I felt? Have you ever... I don’t, felt something different than this?”

“Me? No, I love you, like, so much, but it’s not like that, ya know... I just don’t want you to leave me” he said and I nodded, laying back and closing my eyes again.

“I would never leave you, Shawn, don’t be dramatic” I said lazily and he just chuckled.

I never noticed that I drifted off, only moments later when I heard something shuffling around the room.

“So we’re going back to our room, we are really tired, are you going to let her stay?”

“Of course, I would never be able to deny her anything”

“Just be careful, don’t fall harder than what you already did, bro, I don’t know if she feels the same”

“Me neither, she never talks to me about this stuff, ya know? And I’m her sister, for Gods sake”

“Yeah, I know, but I love her, I always did and always will”

“Yeah, whatever, we’re heading to bed, you should do the same, goodnight, Shawn”

“Night, Mendes”

“Goodnight, lemme take you guys there”

And with that, I heard nothing more, just the click of a door, and that’s when I knew I was asleep. Shawn is not in love with me or whatever. That must have been the craziest dream in my like.

“Honey?” I felt something caressing my face forcing me to stir awake “honey, it’s one in the morning, I didn’t want to wake you, but also didn’t want you to feel awkward in the morning since you never told me if you wanted to sleep with me... I mean, here”

“Hm, okay, I’m getting up” I mumbled with my face buried in the pillow.

“Do you want to stay?”

“No, I’m getting back to my room” I said sitting on the bed rubbing my face.

“Do you want me to carry you there? I don’t mind”

“No, it’s okay, I’m fine” I said stretching and getting up, grabbing my phone from the floor and turning around to say goodnight, but almost chocking at the view.

He was shirtless, with his flannel pijama pants hanging low on his hips and with the ends of it tugged in his socks. He looked so effortlessly hot that it hurt. He’s just like a freaking Greek God. Like, holy shit, who looks like that?

“You sure? You’re just standing in the middle of the room”

“Yeah, totally fine! Oh, do you need help cleaning the room?” I said looking around and seeing it was spotless.

“The girls helped me”

“Now I feel worthless”

“No, you’re just tired and none of us had the heart or the need to wake you”

“Oh, okay, I’m going to bed, I’m sorry for not helping at all”

“It’s okay, goodnight, honey, now come here and give me a kiss”

“Goodnight, Shawn” I said hugging him and kissing his collarbone, which is what I could reach and he laughed, kissing the top of my head and then letting me go.

And I just went back to my room, with butterflies flying on my stomach, but I was really tired to fight them, so I just crashed on bed and slept.

                                                        -*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I'll know if I'm supposed to keep posting this series thing.

*I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo*

-🌙

                                                        -*-

[morethanithoughtofficialblog]

Chapter 21: You like jazz?

In which you guys see a beeutiful movie.

*Sans's POV*

The universe was against me. "Sweet Child O' Mine" is a hard song that, no matter how many times I have sung it, it puts me extremely nervous. I love the song, so... I never would want to ruin it.

Now, years had passed since I quit singing in public, and the fact that their opinion matters to me... let's just say I wasn't confident at all.

It was so strange, though. The music started, the looks were on me... but I felt that I had to do it. I had this discussion with Paps earlier, and he's having a rough time with my situation... I wanted to make it up for him. I love my bro, I know he's trying to help. I don't know what I was expecting when he saw me passed out on a table. It was quite obvious that he would scold me.

And so I sang.

I never thought I would feel that... "funny" feeling if I ever got myself to sing again. Somehow, it happened. I felt great at singing the song by heart and mimicking the guitar solo in my head. And as great as the music felt, the applauses made me feel even better. It felt so... surreal.

So oddly surreal.

But I couldn't care less.

"YAY! MY BROTHER'S MUSICAL CAREER HAS RETURNED!" Papy exclaimed with a goofy grin.

"Dude, we don't even need to do votation!" Undyne surprisingly commented.

The positive comments were starting to get me. I felt like floating, like if I was in a dream. I know this must mean nothing to a lot of people... but for me? Oh, of course, it does. I was so scared to sing because their opinions matter... but I noticed that some may always provide me support. Like Papyrus.

Maybe I should try this more often.

The night continued after that, everyone deciding I was the winner. I felt like a champion, but tried not to get too attached to that title. Instead, I shrugged it off and continued to get onto everyone's nerves with my fantastic puns.

Is quite... interesting how a simple recognition can make me happy. Maybe it's because I don't get complimented often. Maybe it's because I've been seeing myself as a fucking and talentless idiot these days. Maybe, and just maybe, I was feeling more anxious than ever, and then I realized it was no use.

Eh, it could have been whatever. Not that I should really get into it.

"Now let's play... 7 minutes in heaven!" The stupid robot said, and I swear I wasn't the only one who cringed. 7 minutes in heaven is... horrible. And I would never let my brother play that horrid game. What if they had to go with Frisk? Oh, I would not be able to take it.

"Pardon my ignorance, but... what is 7 minutes in heaven?" (Y/N) asked nervously. Oh girl, you really don't want to know.

Wait, but how does she don't know? I thought this was a human-made game...

"But punk! This is a traditional sleepover game!" Undyne, having the same doubt as I, asked her. She played with her fingers and muttered that she never tend to go to sleepovers, which made my brother gasp.

"HUMAN! I SHOULD INVITE YOU MORE OFTEN, THEN! YOU JUST CAN'T WASTE THE WONDERFUL YEARS OF YOUR YOUNGHOOD WITHOUT HAVING A SUPER FUN SLEEPOVER! LESS IF IT'S WITH THE GREAT PAPYRUS!" She chuckled lightly, a sound that definitely I would love to hear more often. She's really quiet, I just hope she was more open and confident in our friend group...

And for that, you need to stop being an asshole, Sans.

I shook my head, reminding myself how horrible my thoughts can get if I don't stop them in time. Now I had the head (or skull?) more clear, and I couldn't waste the opportunity. It's being a while- I need to focus seriously on the future while I still can.

And on the present as well.

"O-ok, so... what about if we... play another thing?" Alphys muttered, and I immediately nodded. If you can't already tell, I hate that game. It's pathetic and for flustered teenagers with a silly crush. I've never been a huge fan of that.

"Ok, ok!" Mettaton groaned, obviously angered by no choosing his horrible idea "Let's watch a movie, then!"

"THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA, METTATON. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL MAKE SURE TO CHOOSE THE PERFECT FEATURE-LENGTH FILM FOR THIS EVENING!" Then he rushed to Tori's living room and put on that Netflix thingy. I like that site, but Youtube is better. It has more variety and more stupid things. Also, no bad jokes restrainment. Perfect for someone like me.

I lost myself into thinking in what I would possibly choose to do if Frisk doesn't reset. The timeline problem is quite a huge one, but if the world decides to be on my side, then what would be next? Getting a career? Spend the rest of my days on a bar?

Yeah, the last one doesn't seem like the best option...

One of my childhood dreams was to get on the Surface and become either a great scientist or a talented writer. Now I have the possibility to stop calling it a dream. As much as I love quantum physics, though, writing is something that still has my heart. I'm much more of a reserved guy than what everyone thinks. I may joke, I may laugh, I may strike up conversations instantly, but the real me is an introvert. And a nerd.

Maybe I can become a freaking science teacher, a formal scientist, a crazy man who invents stupid things, a bonely skeleton living with twelve dogs (because I love dogs. Fite me), or even a hotdog seller. I can be anything I want to be! ...

Dude, I sounded like a Barbie commercial.

But what I mean is that I have endless opportunities on the tip of my fingers, and I won't let them go that easily. I think that the first step would be applying to a university...

Which I already did.

I mentally facepalmed when I remembered that day. I was saying stupid puns in my head to call me down, but that wasn't working. I wasn't in my right mind and, still, I went and do a freaking three-hour exam. What a smart decision.

Well, if I'm somehow accepted, I'll throw a huge party. That involves sleeping. In my room...

Wait-no.

Ah, forget it.

I will somehow celebrate it, then. Maybe spoiling myself with a bottle of ketchup or make my sock collection bigger. Yeah, little things like that. I should not congratulate myself so much.

If I don't make it, though... then I guess there won't be any differences. Pretty much everything normal, except I won't be able to give Papyrus what I've always wanted to give him...

I need to work hard.

"EVERYONE! I THINK THAT I HAVE CHOSEN AN APPROPRIATE MOVIE FOR TODAY!" Papyrus shouted, and everyone rushed into the living room "IT'S CALLED 'BEE MOVIE'!"

Bee Movie? What kind of name is that?

We all had confused looks. Everyone except the humans, that is. Both Frisk and (Y/N) were "trying" to hold back laughter.

"is it a good movie?" I asked them, not wanting to waste my time on a shitty movie.

"Pfft-Familiar comedy" (Y/N) simply replied, smiling brightly "It's more directed to... kids. But, hey! Anyone can enjoy it!"

Something about her statement made me suspicious, but Papy believed her instantly. And so he put on the movie, and we all sat down whether on the couch or the floor.

"According to all known laws of aviation," The movie started "there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway..."

"Because bees don't care what humans think is impossible"

Oh boy.

(Y/N) stopped smirking but had this goofy and stupid grin written all over her face. If it ends up with some scary shit, I swear to God I'll kill her. We went on and watched how this guy, Barry B. Benson, graduated and had to choose a job. Everything was, well, normal, I guess... until he met that human girl. What was her name? Melissa? No... Oh! Vanessa!

When Barry daydreamed about Vanessa and him flying it was... weird, to say the least. Both human girls, though, laughed loudly. It was so stupid, I need to admit it.

The movie had puns, which I highly appreciated, but the rest of it... was stupid. That's it. Simply stupid.

I liked the "You like jazz?" part though. I should hit on someone like that. And that joke about- wait, I'll get it.

"He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, <<Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?>>"

I think that's the most hilarious and stupid joke I've heard in a while. Or well, probably in a movie. It was so stupid and so bad that I laughed. (Y/N) did as well. And Papy stared at us like we were crazy. The others were still trying to find the joke. It was amazing.

All those puns were driving everyone crazy. Well, except me. And those two weird girls. I actually didn't want to judge the adult so quickly, but if she does enjoy things like these... I may not be sure to change her nickname any sooner. I may also start to like her more, though. Serious but a dork- that's a nice personality I bet she has.

"-This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes!"

"-That's a drag queen!"

That scene, that fucking scene... it was perfect. I would be lying if I said I didn't love the movie. According to all known laws of film-making, no movie should be like this one. It was bizarre. That's why I loved it.

"How good?" That lawyer asked "Do you live together? Wait a minute... are you her little... bedbug?"

Unfortunately for me, I was drinking soda at that moment. I spit it out. At the floor, thankfully, but I still embarrassed myself. This dork, (Y/N) laughed way too loud about the incident. But hey, I can't blame her. I would have done just the same if I wasn't the victim.

"What about a suicide pact?" Barry asked Vanessa (am I seriously talking about this movie?)

"How do we do it?" She asked.

"I sting you, you step on me."

"That just kills you twice"

"Right, right"

Can't you see how stupid and amazing it is?! And after a minute I've just realized the name of that woman was Vanessa Bloome! And she was a freaking florist! There were puns everywhere! That silly and quite morbid sense of humor...

If the Bee Movie was a girl, I should have married her by now.

"So... did you enjoy the movie, guys?" Frisk asked, wearing a stupid grin.

"IT WAS WEIRD" Papyrus bluntly replied, which made all of us laugh.

"You sure do have a sense of humor, punk!" Undyne looked to (Y/N), and she just shrugged with a smile.

"the movie was beeutiful. all-time favorite" I added, and laughter filled the room again.

"it was... something" Napstablook shyly smiled, but in his face was all written: "I will never see it again". As much as we all would like to talk about it, though, Toriel came just in time to tell us that it was sleeping time. I looked over my cellphone and saw that it was, indeed, pretty late. I can't believe we were up 'till 2 am to watch something like that. Oh well. It was worth it.

We all gave each other some goodbyes and headed to any room we would want. Papyrus had somehow made his way to reclaim the second biggest room (since Tori's is the biggest) all for his own. Since the Dreemurr family cleared up one room that was messy and made it quite nicely, now everyone had a room. I was still rooting for my dad to sleep on the couch, though...

I lied down on the bed with a happy smile... that faded after minutes passed by.

I couldn't sleep.

I groaned at the thought of not sleeping again and get all grumpy in the morning. That's definitely something I've been trying to avoid (unsuccessfully...). I wanted to be there for the people I care about, but the nightmares aren't helping. So it was almost 4 am, and I wanted to waste time...

You: hey

You: u awake?

C' mon, please answer!

24/7 Depressed Dork: Yep

24/7 Depressed Dork: What's up?

Shit, I forgot I gave her that nickname...

Oh well.

You: i'm bored

You: wanna talk?

24/7 Depressed Dork: Sure

24/7 Depressed Dork: ...hmm

24/7 Depressed Dork: So how's the weather in there?

I'm starting to like this girl more.

You: eh, nothing impressive

You: just a bit chilly but, y' know

You: it doesn't affect me at all

You: after all, nothing gets under my skin

24/7 Depressed Dork: I knew you would say something like that

24/7 Depressed Dork: I could feel it in my bones

Perfect audience.

You: Knock knock

24/7 Depressed Dork: Who's there?

You: cash

24/7 Depressed Dork: cash who?

You: nah, i'll have some peanuts, thanks.

24/7 Depressed Dork: Sans, that was horrible

And before I could answer her back and tell her the opposite, she surprisingly wrote:

24/7 Depressed Dork: Knock Knock

You: wow, really?

You: ok

You: who's there?

24/7 Depressed Dork: Annie

You: annie who?

24/7 Depressed Dork: Annie thing you can do I can do better!

Oh, so you are challenging me? Interesting...

You: you think so?

You: oh, you'll see

You: knock knock

24/7 Depressed Dork: Who's there?

You: dewey

24/7 Depressed Dork: Dewey who?

You: dewey have to use a condom?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Your POV*

I stared amazed at the message Sans just send me and laughed quietly. Either it's a way to flirt or just a corny joke, I enjoy those things. They are... interesting, and make you think twice. And not everyone is accessible to hear this type of jokes, less making them. He has quite the sense of humor, huh?

You: Oh, I see how it is, then

You: Knock Knock

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: who's there?

Ah, his nickname...

It's amazing, I won't change it any time sooner.

You: Ivana

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: ivana who?

You: Ivana jump your bones ;)

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: ohmygod

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: that's just way too dirty

You: You started this fight, buddy

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: i guess so

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: but two can play this game!

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: knock knock

You: Who's there?

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: hop on

You: ...

Oh my God, no.

What I have done?

You: Hop on who?

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: hop on dis dick

OHMYGODIREGRETEVERYTHINGNOW!

...

do skeletons even have a-

Calm down, don't let him see right through you.

So for some reason, I was taking this very seriously. Like if this was going to define who was the leader or some survival shit like that.

You: Okay, you asked for it

You: Knock Knock

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: who's there?

You: Pussy!

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: dude, what?

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: i don't get it

You: And you never will

You: Sucker

It was 6 am at this point, the sun was starting to get out. What do you think it's the best way to start the day? Smiling and laughing, of course. However, I don't think it was the right time for anyone to hear Sans loud laughter in ALL THE FREAKING HOUSE.

You: Sans, stfu

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: never

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: that was good

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: really good...

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: i have a joke for you

You: Bring it on

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: what is 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild?

We're still at the dirty jokes?

You: Sans, I swear to God...

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: a $100 bill

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: what were you thinking bud? ;)

...ok, he caught me red-handed.

You: Yeah... let's not talk about it

You: It's my turn now

You: But this time, it's a poem

You: Be ready

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: wow, you are a poet now?

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: i'm curious

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: spit it out

You: Ok, good

You: Let me start:

You: As I lay here with my legs spread

Like hot butter bleeding on stale bread. The warm insides of my cantaloupe thighs cry out in extasy as you eat my cherry pie. Visions of cucumbers often enter my mind and sometimes hot dogs, they plump when you cook 'em kind Whipped cream all covered with gooslurping green jello in the tub with you You are my world my little cupcake, I want to lick your cream filling until you ache. Your Juicy Avacadoes so plump, and so ripe.

Let's just do it in the kitchen tonight!!

I...

Got too carried away, okay?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not that dirty-minded.

Well, kinda.

I memorized a dirty poem by heart...

That it made Sans laugh really hard (wait, I think that rhymed... shit).

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: (y/n), you are my new favorite person

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: you are amazing

You: So I won?

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: definitely

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: let me just end this contest with one question

You: Go ahead

Short and Moody is my Skelebuddy: you like jazz

And I laughed like there was no tomorrow, just at how random it was and remembering Barry's face. God, I think I'm becoming more stupid than I originally thought.

I would have made a joke or two, but the consequences of laughing so hard already arrived:

"SANS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHY YOU AND THE HUMAN ARE LAUGHING?!" Oh shit.

"ah, s-sorry bro..."

"SANS! WHY WERE YOU TEXTING THE HUMAN WHEN WERE IN THE SAME HOUSE?! THAT'S RIDICULOUS!"

I chuckled, realizing how idiotic someone can become.

Bee Movie takes all the blame.