Howdy, Pine! Can we get three headcanons for all your favorite Scott Pilgrim characters? :-)
Oh absolutely!!!! Lemme think for a minute...
((FUTURE FUTURE ME: I LITERALLY JUST PROCESSED YOU SAID THREE HEADCANONS IM SO SORRY--- YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 😭))
Okay I had a whole thing here, but we're gonna try this again but slightly more Hinged-- forcing myself to format so things don't get out of hand again. I will HAPPILY elaborate, though!!
((Whoop this is future me. This post is going to be so long if I dont do this, so I'm going to put this all under the cut! I'll try to remember to come back up here with the characters I talk about- alternative, should I not do that, maybe check the tags! I'll try to only tag the people I'm directly talking about))
KIM PINE
sexuality: very likely canonically Bi, I am a very big fan of her being a comp. het. lesbian, though (I get this both from my read of the comics/her character and just me Injecting myself into my favorite characters ✌️)
pronouns: she/her usually, but I think she'd be very open and vibe with they/them (me injecting myself again, but also she's just chill like that. I think she prefers if strangers use they/them for her, and her friends or partners use she/her. I'm undecided if she prefers her partners call her their girlfriend or their partner, though.)
Characters I think she has feelings for: RAMONA FLOWERS, Lisa Miller, (MAYBE Scott Pilgrim, still)
Elaboration on that:
I honestly think I can just. Point at some comic panels for Ramona. And the goat thing again. They make me Unhinged that's how canon that is.
Lisa!!! My beloved!!! I think she had a tiny crush on her in high school and had no idea that it was a crush until way later in life- maybe shortly after seeing her again, actually. But like. She's so obviously smiley and happy when she's around, I really can't help but read it that way! She, at the very least, gets an extreme mood boost in her presence, so she really likes having her around.
Scott Pilgrim.... *scrubbing at my face* okay. Okay. So, I have a couple different reads on her feelings for Scott, they're kind of complicated for me to dismantle. Especially since I haven't started my reread of book 6 (I've been giving my thumbs a break, which I am currently prolonging but I have been DYING for someone to ask me to talk about this series.) I'm going to go with my more canon read and leave it at that I think, because it's already becoming this text wall.
Scott was really important to her, I think. She's this aloof, sullen, bitchy girl and she knows it- and then this dorky idiot walks into her life and they really hit it off! They date, they have really sweet, private moments together- it's everything to her. It's someone loving her in spite of the hard shell she initially puts out, and managing to reach her soft, easily bruised heart in ways no one had before. But then he left so abruptly, and that heart was crushed under the weight of her own ribcage. I think she carried that hurt with her every day from that point- I don't imagine her having a particularly roaring love life after that. I think she kept that hurt bottled, and it made any relationships she DID attempt fall apart. It's a wound she's been nursing for way, way too long, and I think she knows that- that's why she wants so badly to forget about it. But then she goes to Toronto and runs into Scott again at the lowest point in his life, and she can't get herself to step away, because this is the only person who ever claimed to love her in a way she felt. I think her decision to stay was sort of... detrimental to her moving on. If she'd detatched herself and stepped back, maybe she could have moved on eventually- she could have worked on herself, or maybe lucked out and found someone who could get through those walls without a sledgehammer, and she would have been better for it. But that's not what happens. She stayed, and I think the longer she stayed the harder it became to keep herself completely shielding from him, because he's still that same goofy guy at his core- he's just a bit worse than she remembered him being. But damn near everything he does throughout the comics just continues to crush her until she HAS to leave- he can apologize, and she can accept it for the version of him she loved, but he's not enough to convince her to stay anymore. I'm going to cut my canon analysis there until I reread their next scene, rather than just continuing incase my thoughts have slightly changed, but like... man... they hurt me in a very unique way. If it was anyone other than Scott, it'd be tragic. (Maybe it still is, maybe that's the Kim Bitterness talking)
For a brief touch on my less canon take, with Kim being a lesbian: I think Scott would have been better placed in her life as a best friend than a partner, but when you're young, and honestly even when you're not all that young, emotional distinction like that can be so, so confusing. So all of the hurt remains very genuine, because she does love him, just not the way she thought she did.
((Because I do love the trans!fem Scott HC as well, I will say. I feel like it would be really, really funny for Kim to realize she's into women and be like "wow sure dodged round two of the Scott Pilgrim bullet" and then one day Scott shows up having started her transition and is like "Oh hey Kimmy!! I'm a lesbian AND a girl, like you now!!!" And Kim just. Crushes her drink or something in her hand like "oh no... oh no she's attractive again... FUCK FUCK FUCK." Obviously a lot more nuanced than that, though. I should probably clarify that I started answering this ask almost IMMEDIATELY after waking up and also BEFORE I've taken more pain meds. If this post has been or starts to become very scattered again, that's why lol.))
Bonus consideration: Hollie. I can dig her having a crush on Hollie, but I feel like it faded a little living with her, and then shattered entirely after the Jason Kim situation. Even an overwhelming attraction to women ain't savin that one, chief. That's just too severe a betrayal.
The Knives Situation: Oh Boy. So in the original answer for this I had a whole thing done up, lemme try to condense it. Basically, I think Kim woke up the next morning HORRIFIED by what she'd done. Like, dry heaving in the bathroom horrified. And this likely really hurt Knives's feelings, should she see! Which Kim would feel horrible about. I'm undecided on if she just runs from the situation before Knives can wake up, or if they have a sort of agrument/one-sided rant on Kim's part afterward where she just really tries to hammer home for Knives how not okay it was for them to do that- for HER to do that, given their ages and inherent power imbalance. In the event that this discussion happens, Knives absorbed none of it, and probably leaves that conversation a little wounded. I think it would proceed to play back in her mind when she and Stephen are talking at one of Julie's parties later on, though, and she'd probably approach Kim after that to thank her for being a reasonable adult about that, unlike how some of her friends had been. Once that understanding is reached, I think they could be good friends, although Kim probably teases her for how she started to dress like her after they first met.
Silly little things: If anyone's familiar with Night in the Woods, do you know the part where Mae's like "that's not drums... that's a computer..."? I feel like that has Kim energy. To me.
Also I think Kim sucks at Rockband- I know that releases like, way afterward or something so far as comic timeline goes, but bare with me, okay? It's my silly little headcanons! Anyway, she'd suck really, really bad on the drums, since so far as I can recall, they don't REALLY correspond with the music. If her friends force her to play, she demands either the mic or the bass, because "fuck you Scott, you try playing their stupid fucking drums." He proceeds to play flawlessly, much to her chagrin. She fairs better on the bass, but only a bit better than the drums, since her fingers aren't quite used to the movements.
Kim didn't think she liked cats for a while, mostly because she was only ever around them fleetingly, and generally in the homes of people who should have been cleaning their litter boxes more regularly. After hanging around Ramona's house more, though, she discovers she really love them! She feels a sort of kinship watching how they actually behave, and I think Gideon ends up warming to Kim very quickly, which probably helps with the very quick turnaround on her opinion. I think it'd be funny if sometimes, when Kim's over, Scott will try to beckon Gideon over to him for cuddles or affection, and the cat will just. Stare at him entirely unimpressed before jumping up into Kim's lap with exaggerated purring and chin rubbing before curling up for a "nap." Kim was in awe the first time this happened, and Ramona finds it ceaselessly amusing every time it happens. ((Funny additonal scenario: once after this happened Scott was whining to Ramona, who was coming to join them on the couch, looking generally very sad/cute/pathetic, and overcome with a sort of playful evil, Ramona proceeded to sit by and cuddle up to Kim as well. Kim immediately froze up and went bright red and wide eyed, Scott's jaw probably dropped before he dove into a theatrical, exaggerated spewl about the betrayal of it all, and Ramona just got to blissfully enjoy Kim cuddles while giggling at both of their reactions and petting Gideon.))
Conversely, I don't know how Kim feels about dogs. Like, I don't think she hates them or anything like that, but maybe they fill her with a sense of pity, for their associations with unwavering loyalty. Something about that specifically runs too close to things she considers about herself, at times, maybe. Idk, just kinda spit ballin here.
I think she does like rats! And mice. Idk. They're cute little guys and I like them, let me have this--
Oh man... just Kim's section is so long. And I have other characters to get to,,, buckle up I guess--- I mean, I did start with My Girl, so maybe the others will be shorter?
((This is future future me again... this is where I actually went back and processed the ask properly :') I have no words to describe my current emotional state beyond that I am trying really hard not to burst into a little fit of laughter at myself and wake my roommate--))
Three! Three headcanons!! I can do this (restraintrestraintrestraint)
Okay! Let's try being Normal About Media- and just as a note, they aren't really in any particular order, beyond Kim being the first because she IS legitimately my favorite, I think. Idk she's very Me.
Ramona Flowers
1. She doesn't really do labels, for things like her idenity; she does think pride flags are pretty, though. Scott got her a bi flag once and she decided to keep it and hang it in her room for this exact reason, though she did explain to him that she doesn't really consider herself anything but herself- Ramona Flowers. He's very understanding about that, although a little confused in the typical Scott manner! They eventually come around to just considering it being his flag, when he comes to terms with himself (yeah, spoilers, I HC him as bi)
2. Her hair actually does have magic properties to it that prevent it from getting absolutely butchered by all the bleaching she does- she doesn't know how or why, though. Maybe it's less magic and more to do with the supplies themselves? Unlike Scott, she's not as meticulous when it comes to reading the status effect labels on things she uses or consumes.
3. Of her former partners, I think she does have genuine lingering feelings for Roxie. So far as the comics/movie go, she simply repressed the hell out of them and plays the Deny Deny Deny! game, but so far as the show goes, I think she's come to terms with the fact that she still loves her, but horrifically fumbled her- she doesn't want to hurt Roxie like that again, so she's unlikely to ever try things again between them, I think. Not unless Roxie was the initiator, and even then, it'd take some coaxing.
Bonus 4. She absolutely has feelings for Kim. I feel like maybe further into their relationship she'd 100% ask Scott like "hey... you know your really hot friend Kim?" and proceed to discuss with him if being in a polyamorous relationship is something he could get behind. Maybe it'd happen after a period of time with Kim living with them too, or something.
Roxie Richter
1. She gets ALL the girls- all of them. She's an unholy TERROR for men where she lives, because she is notorious for giving women the night of their lives and making them never look back so far as dating men goes. Now, I don't think she deliberately breaks up people or goes after "straight" girls or anything, but it's probably something that's happened on accident before, so she's A Menace. I will say that she might deliberately swoop in and woo a girl she knows is taken if it's extremely clear that their relationship is just Not Right- like if she's seeing clear signs of abuse, or something. She isn't intending to get with these girls when she does this, but she is fully intending to get them out of shitty situations. She's even turned girls down after their (ex) boyfriends have stormed off in a huff, simply out of respect for them- she'll try to give them advice, and if they're adamant in trying New Venues, she might play matchmaker where she can, but she isn't really comfortable sleeping with them after doing stuff like that- to her, it feels gross, maybe even exploitative.
2. I actually don't know if this is meant to be canon or not, because it's noted alongside some of her sketches, but she's german/japanese in my eyes- but raised in the states. She knows English the best, and some German, but she doesn't really know much Japanese, much to her own agitation- she just struggles with it a lot, for whatever reason. She can kind of read some things, but if she tries to speak it she runs the risk of butchering the words. I personally further HC her dad as German and her mom as Japanese- dad by process of elimination, mom based loosely on how I read some of her and Ramona's conversations in the comics.
3. She is in fact whistling the tune in the show intending it to be from the Robin Hood movie- in fact, I think I'm going to HC it as one of her favorite animated films from childhood. (... do I HC her as a furry now?)
Lisa Miller
1. Disaster Bi! She's a bit of a Menace and she knows it; she likes to rile people up, but she can't really take what she dishes out. Like, if she'd done the kind of seductive teasing she does to Scott to Kim and received any sort of flirting back, her brain would shut down and she'd need to reboot. She doesn't know how to handle when someone else takes the reigns, which is why it was so easy and fun to play with Scott- he was too stunned/shy to play back, which she enjoys. Not to imply she doesn't enjoy having her brain melted a little, of course.
2. I think she makes it big after she heads to America! Or at least, bigger than she was. She sends her friends back in Toronto signed copies of movie posters and CDs and things when she can- she doesn't expect them to keep them, although she loves it when they do, but at least in Scott's case it's sort of a "incase of emergency, please sell" sort of situation. He does not, obviously. (Ramona probably does, though, both from admittedly petty lingering jealousy and because they just don't have room for all of it; Scott rarely seems to notice anyhow, and the money usually goes towards rent or random gifts for him anyhow)
3. I forget if everyone's sudden absence is noticed when they Poof briefly during the finalt episode of the show, but if it is I feel like Lisa starts to talk to Kyle, since he's in front of her, like "hey, what exactly happened there-" before looking out over everyone else who reappeared in their seats and noticing Scott is actually up there with them. She spends the rest of that night chatting up him and the league, and maybe even scores an in with Matthew for getting a foothold in her acting career!
Matthew Patel
1 . He absolutely has a dedicated cult following for his theatrical works, and it's warranted! He's genuinely good at what he does, and his passion is clear as day; any production is lucky to have him, and he knows it, which can kind of lead to butting heads behind the scenes. I feel like he might come across to his fellow performers as full of himself, especially given his proficiency with one man performances, but he truly is just deeply, deeply passionate about his work, and he wants to feel that passion with anyone he works with, too. He NEEDS his energy matched to feel like it's going to be a grand performance, and he simply doesn't notice how off-putting this can be for his coworkers as a result.
2. The demon hipster chicks have always been the visual age they are now, even when Matthew was a kid; he viewed them as older sisters growing up, and they're very protective of him perhaps as a result. At his current age, they're his best friends and personal body guards- they'll descend like rabid dogs on anyone that steps out of line around him, if he doesn't call them off. Sometimes it's a bit much for him, but they're usually pretty good about understanding when they do and don't need to interfere on his behalf.
3. Ya know I'm not sure if it's a HC I've seen at all but I could really vibe with trans!masc Matthew. I would love that for him, truly.
Scott Pilgrim
1. Look... I really love any trans!Scott headcanons. Like, any direction, I've said before; I genuinely have such a problem figuring out which version I enjoy best: he's trans!masc and has been all along, or trans!fem and Ramona eventually helps to crack that egg. But also, while I'm saying this, he is. So stupid. Not like maliciously stupid in this sense, absolutely not, but I feel like he's the kind of person to like. Run into someone from his past post their transition, with THEM coming up to HIM to be like "oh long time no see, Pilgrim," and then he would say something to the affect of "oh, you have the same last name as (DN)!!! Are you related? Kim, Kim!! Do you know if (DN) had any siblings?" while Kim and the other person just stare at him deadpan for a bit before bursting into laughter at his expense. He would then proceed to be really confused and just not get it, either until they explain it to him or like, he'd just suddenly sit up in a cold sweat later that night realizing what he did like "oh my GOD that WAS them, I said their dead name at them like seven times!! I am Going To Hell!!!" (And Ramona would just kind of blindly, lightly slap around in his general direction, like "honey you're not going to hell for basically affirming the effectiveness of their transition, go the fuck to sleep. They would've said something if it was a problem." Idk, that's just how he feels to me.)
2. When he has his own money for things, and space living with Ramona, he spends it on video games or video game related merch- it's probably a lot of patches and t-shirts, but I can see him starting to collect plushies, too! Like some of the really old kinda silly looking Sonic plushies, for example? If I had my Knuckles one on hand I'd use him as an example, but I think he's in storage somewhere :(
3. Gets into really heated arguments about video game mechanics and stat stuff where applicable; like, Ramona has to drag him away or else he will actively start fighting people kind of heated. He can hold chill conversations, but if he feels like he's being talked down to about a game that he's REALLY into, like Sonic Adventure (he has the director's cut!)
Wallace Wells
1. MENACE TO SOCIETY. He's comparable to Roxie in this way except he is so much worse (I say this affectionately <3) because he does just straight up, in canon, do things like steal Stacey's boyfriends! And that's his friend that he's doing that to! So I cannot IMAGINE what mischief he gets up to when he goes out drinking. He's probably ruined so many lives, naybe even marriages. What am I saying, maybe? Definitely. And he feels no remorse about this! In his eyes either your man was already gay or you needed to treat him better, sweetie; he HAS been rejected before, so clearly his charms can't ruin what ain't already broken.
2. While he does have feeling for Scott, which is basically canon I don't even want to hear it, he KNOWS better. Like, he'd been living with Scott for a while, so he knows if they were legitimately dating he probably would be even more sick of him than he already is. When they were still living together, though, there were times where he couldn't help but wonder if it would really be all that bad... right before Scott comes in and does or says something that just highlights for Wallace that he's making the Sane choice. Besides, Wallace is (and i hate using these terms but I straight up don't know what other words I could possibly use) a sugar baby; he can't keep up being both a sugar baby and Scott's effective sugar daddy (HATEHATEHATE THAT WORD) while ALSO paying rent. It doesn't really work out that well, especially with him having, at the time, such a shitty apartment to begin with.
3. I feel like Wallace really enjoys his nightlife and getting to sleep around, so I'm unsure if this is something still in play while he's with Mobile, or if he respects Mobile enough to do away with that entirely. Like, different situations work for different relationships, so if Mobile is fine with it then maybe it's something that continues! But taking into account the sparks from the show, maybe he'd actually be really fine being exclusive with Mobile. Especially given how well their future selves seem to be doing. Idk! Basically the sum of this one is just that, if Wallace is exclusive with Mobile, he misses be a bit of a whore, but he's very happy where, and with who he is, now.
Envy Adams
1. She gives me vibes.. queer vibes... in some sort of direction.... idk if I'm fully behind her also being a comp. het lesbian or just labeling her a disaster bi, but I also get a vague sense of gender fuckery. It's entirely her name thing, probably, but I can see Envy being genderqueer.
2. She probably hunted Lynette down after that show- an arm was likely Not Enough to quite satisfy that rage. Especially since she didn't get the satisfaction of beating Todd more thoroughly herself, since Scott stepped in. Conversely, for the show canon, Wallace has a target on his back for the rest of her life, as far as she's concerned, even in a world where her feelings for Todd were just misunderstood- she considered him her best friend, and you don't get away with hurting her friends like that unless you're her.
3. I think I'd like to HC that some part of her regrets booting Scott from the band the way she did back in college? Maybe not immediately, or even soon, but I feel like sometimes she would think about him and their relationship as a whole and just feel bad, Idk. Like, she doesn't want to get back with him at all, but I could maybe see her offering to promote Shatterband (or Sex Bob-Omb, in the show,) or even play with him as a genuine apology instead of a coy trap somewhere down the line.
Knives Chau
1. Look... look I know I'm about to sound like a broken record... comp. het. lesbian or bi. HEAR ME OUT: her puppy dog love for Scott is really just that- something cute and innocent, but very intense, especially once he cuts her off in that honestly really brutal manner. Teenage heartbreak is messy- even if you feel like it was real, true love you had, you can often realize later in life that what you felt was just admiration, or something else innocuous like that. I think she reaffirms it to herself as a deep and true love because of how intense the pain of that breakup was, paired with everything that comes after, and I think the show really highlights that for me? Because in the show, with Scott out of the picture entirely, she's just a lot less intense about it. I think after playing music and hanging around his friends, she realizes she didn't really love him all that much, just thought he was a cool older guy and liked that he took an interest in her, even if she recognizes how wrong that was now. ((I probably have more articulate thoughts on this but I am really starting to feel the lack of pain meds so I need to get through this--))
2. Knives is really good at rhythm games and things like DDR or, when it's eventually released, Just Dance. Like, freakishly good. She picks them up just as well and just as quickly as she did her instruments.
3. With how quickly she picked up her instruments, she kinda gives me honor student vibes? Idk. I feel like it'd be a little stressful for her later on, because I do think her passionate drive for music makes her grades take a slight spin, but she just gives off that energy for me. Knives is a lot smarter than people give her credit for, I think, Idk.
... yes, I am very normal about media... spending 3 hours on 1 ask that offered me a lot more simplicity than I can apparently manage...
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Yeah, sure, gonna do this too. Here’s a list of some of my ships and also just some dynamics I’m really fond of:
Gonna start with my explicit romantic ships, ranging from OTP (my personal description of an OTP is a pair I cannot imagine in any other relationship) to ships I’m just very fond of.
ContraHero (duh, my OTP of all time)
ParaCold (smth of a secondary OTP, I’d say, since I also can’t imagine them in any other relationship lmao [at least, long-term])
Foreign Body (Quiet/Stranger) (I can’t imagine the heart not being Stranger, tbh, and also, smth about the both of them having a ‘monstruous’ form aksmdjddj)
Skeptunist (it’d be a slooooooww and LOOOONNNG burn, but I think the progress would be so interesting and the eventual relationship so weirdly sweet)
Ghost Lily (Spectre/Witch) (reaching OTP to me, ngl, as I can’t bring myself to be invested in other relationships involving them lmao)
Sweethearts (Smitten/Damsel) (have no problems imagining them with others, but this is still my primary ship for them)
Eternal Challenge (Stubborn/Asversary) (same situation as above)
Aaannnnd that’s it for explicit romantic pairs I think, I’m. actually a pretty picky shipper akmaksmdjkdmd
Now let’s move to what I call my OTBesties. When you ship them, but in a ‘they’re besties!!!’ way :D
Dark Comedy (Contra&Cold)
Strategy Game (Skeptic&Cheated)
Shining Shield (Hero&Para)
Bare Root (Wounded Wild&Thorn)
Nightmare&Spectre
Witch&Hunted
Hunted&Stubborn
Mending Hearts (Smitten&Broken)
Prisoner&Cold
Spectre&Paranoid
Confined Minds (Prisoner&Skeptic)
Thespians (Oppy&Smitten)
Hunted&Stubborn
Those are the ones that actively takes up more brain space, and ones which I most rotate around my head. Here’s some general dynamics I like exploring:
North Star (Cold/Oppy): their toxic yaoi wouldn’t last a year and be horrible for the both of them (mainly Oppy), and I’m all here for it.
Smitten and Skeptic, while not in OTBesties tier for me, is also a friendship I’m very fond of. I think they’d have coffee in the morning together.
Nightmare’s possible dynamic with anyone would be so interesting to explore, but especially with Tower– just. imagine the chaos
Speaking of– also Tower’s dynamic with Razor. Put her in the same room with some of the most relentless and violent vessels, I wanna see what happens
Wraith and Cheated would be an interesting dynamic when taken out from their chapter’s context tbh– Wraith is resentful because of how she’s been treated and only resorted to those drastic actions because that’s what you left her with. I think Cheated would sympathize with that and realize the hand he played (if you get him in her chapter) to get her like this.
Oppy and Hunted feel like they’d have a weirdly close and strong bond. Not OTBesties or explicitly romantic, but a secret fourth thing
Oppy and Contra have beef at first sight to me. They either completely ignore each other, or swear to make the other day’s worse, whatever they feel like atm
Also– since me and the folks in the discord started headcanon that while alive, Narrator could’ve been groomed by a cult and that’s why he has such a deep fear of death, and think eternal bliss is the best alternative for that– I’d like to see more of his dynamic with Broken. In a what-if scenario where they both got over enough of their bagage to have an actual conversation together, I think they’d have a lot to talk about.
Also, shout-out to my Happily Single Tokens, aka, characters I hc as non-partnering/not interested in romance/‘just not in the mood for it, dude’:
Cheated, Broken, Thorn (aro hc for her caught my the throat and won’t let go, I’m sorry Modeus), Prisoner, Narrator (AroAce and romance-repulsed king, tbh), and Hunted
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Everyone who has ever, even slightly, been Robin
*In official, DC-endorsed media
Total: 100 (i think)
FYI:
my definition of a ‘Robin’ is extremely vague. For example, I’m counting Lois Lane because she went to a costume party as Robin, and I’m also counting ‘Boy’ from Batman: the Return of Bruce Wayne because he had the domino mask paint and was clearly a stand-in for Robin. Et cetera.
They’re organized chronologically by their first appearance as Robin
Also this is heavily dependent on DC Fandom Wiki, so please let me know if I missed anyone or if anything is inaccurate
KEY
Red = actually Robin for a significant portion of time (more than a few in-universe days & more than one issue/episode/movie/etc)
Italics = was never Robin in main continuity (i.e. Earth Two [before Earth One existed], Earth One, New Earth, and Prime Earth)
Bold = I actually acknowledge them as Robin in my heart
Dick Grayson (Apr 1940)
Julie Madison (Mar 1941)
Ricky (Dec 1944) [possible future]
Mary Wills (Apr 1950) [Earth-Two]
Bruce Wayne (Dec 1955)
Vanderveer Wayne (Jun 1962)
Alfred E. Neuman (Sep 1966) [Mad Magazine]
Lance Bruner (May 1969)
Jimmy Olsen (May 1970)
Jason Todd (Mar 1982)
Boyd, the Robin Wonder (Apr 1983) [Earth-C-Minus]
Carrie Kelly (Jun 1986) [Dark Knight Returns]
Tim Drake (Oct 1989)
Robert Chang (Apr 1990) [Digital Justice]
Redbird (Jan 1993) [The Blue, the Gray, and the Bat]
Thomas Wayne (Jan 1993) [Robin 3000]
Bane (Apr 1993) [rejected elseworlds]
Robin Redblade (Jun 1994) [Earth-494]
Tengu (Sep 1994) [Narrow Path]
Alfred Pennyworth (Feb 1996) [Batman: Dark Alligiances]
Jubilation Lee (Apr 1996) [Amalgam Universe]
Tris Plover (Jun 1996) [Legends of the Dead Earth]
Darkbird (Jul 1996)
Bruce Wayne Jr. (Feb 1997) [Earth-3839]
Lois Lane (Oct 1997)
Rodney the chimpanzee (Nov 1997) [Batman: Dark Knight Dynasty]
Marya (1998) [I, Joker]
Barbara Gordon (Feb 1998) [Earth-37]
Robin the Toy Wonder (Nov 1998) [DC One Million]
Rochelle Wayne (Feb 1999) [Reign of Terror]
Kon-El (Mar 1999) [Hypertension]
Clark Wayne (Mar 1999) [Earth-3839]
Squid Wonder (Aug 1999)
The Robin (Mar 2000) [Earth-40]
Robin Drake (Feb 2002) [Riddle of the Beast]
Stephanie Brown (May 2004)
Koriand’r (Jan 2005) [Teen Titans (2003 show)]
Garfield Logan (Jan 2005) [Teen Titans (2003 show)]
Rachel Roth (Jan 2005) [Teen Titans (2003 show)]
Victor Stone (Jan 2005) [Teen Titans (2003 show)]
Robbie the Robin (Jun 2005) [Krypto the Superdog]
Control Freak (Oct 2005) [Teen Titans (2003 show)]
Damian Wayne (Nov 2006)
Robin Olsen (Oct 2007) [Earth-8]
Bizzaro Robin (Nov 2007)
Unnamed penguin (Jun 2010) [Tiny Titans]
Boy (Jul 2010)
Robin Robin (Jul 2010) [Tiny Titans]
M’gann M’orzz (Nov 2010) [Young Justice (2010 show)]
Jericho (Dec 2010) [Tiny Titans]
Kid Devil (Dec 2010) [Tiny Titans]
Wildebeest (Dec 2010) [Tiny Titans]
Kroc (Dec 2010) [Tiny Titans]
The Joker (Jan 2011)
Lance Heart (Feb 2011)
Fransisco Ramirez (Feb 2011)
Christopher Ward (Feb 2011)
Robin John Blake (Jul 2012) [Dark Knight Trilogy]
Helena Wayne (July 2012) [Earth 2]
Robin’s Egg (Jan 2013) [Farm League]
Super Robin (Jul 2013) [Teen Titans Go!]
Selina Kyle (Mar 2014)
Damien Wayne (Jun 2014) [Infinite Crisis Video Game]
John Thomas Grayson (Dec 2014) [Earth 2]
Nibor (Jan 2015) [Teen Titans Go!]
Daxton Chill (May 2015)
Dre Cipriani (May 2015)
Riko Sheridan (May 2015)
Duke Thomas (Jul 2015)
Troy Walker (Jul 2015)
Kat-R-ina (Aug 2015)
Isabella Ortiz (Aug 2015)
BlackDomino (Oct 2015)
Darkestdawn (Oct 2015)
SideKicker (Oct 2015)
Yellowcape (Oct 2015)
Shug-R (May 2016)
Robinbot (May 2017)
Dinesh Babar (May 2017)
Rabid Robins (Oct 2017) [Earth -22]
Cult Member Robins (Apr 2018)
Rosie (Apr 2018)
Matt McGinnis (May 2018) [Futures End]
Harley Quinn (Apr 2019)
Jarro (Oct 2019)
Billy Batson (Oct 2019)
Six of Hearts (Dec 2019)
Maps Mizoguchi (Dec 2020)
Talia Kane (Feb 2021) [Earth 11]
LeBron James (Jul 2021) [Space Jam: A New Legacy]
Drake Winston (Oct 2021) [Batman ‘89]
Anita Jean (Oct 2021)
Kiki (Nov 2021)
Son of Don Mitchell Jr. (Mar 2022) [The Batman (2022 movie)]
Gan (Mar 2022)
Jon Kent (Jul 2022)
Amish Boy Wonder (Nov 2022) [The Last Harley Story]
Darcy Thomas (Nov 2022)
Elizabeth Prince (Jan 2024) [Possible Future]
Bruce Wayne clone (Jul 2024)
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hi rye how have you been spending your time LET ME TELL YOU.
kavetham? haikaveh? idk idc but them..
for starters i just want to put out there that if kavetham is my sakuatsu then cynonari is the sunaosa because i love them and if the bestie agenda isn't alive between at least one pair in the four i get so sad. anyways kavetham has taken over my ao3 and it's so bad LOL. this is mostly for me because i like having consolidated lists of fics i've read to go back to but i'll be kind and give the tumblrinas (?) a little taste too. anyways list under the cut also don't follow me for genshin i'm not a genshin girlie (famous last words)
pre warning, i think it goes without saying that there's like alcohol mentioned in like almost every single fic.. kaveh is (apparently but what would i know) not the healthiest when it comes to coping habits so .. forgive him..
check the warnings and the tags before you read!
truck, barter, and trade by Seungshi03 (T) 20.7k // when i tell you if you're going to read one fic on this list it should be this one. the humor. the plot. the kid. this needs to be framed and immortalized. they're so stupid they're so silly THEY'RE SO IN LOVE
rumors, fame, and reputation by rysarium (T) 27k // THIS. READ IT PLEASE. it's so so funny and very entertaining. you go from loving them to wanting to punch them so bad to loving them again. i will say i thought it was so unfair for kaveh to get the movie wrong because technically he heard it from source so what there was an interview 1034209384 years ago let al-haitham lie in peace (ALSO CYNO IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN YOURE SO FUNNY KING SPEAK YOUR TRUTH)
The Fall, the Rise, and Everything In-between by writingrosez (T) 22.9k // i really did dread the divorce arc in this one i knew it was coming but i really was hoping it wouldn't but it happened (when i say i verbally said NO so many times while reading this LMFAO embarrassing.. i'd do it again...) also poor lumine LMFAO
if i wake up and you're still here by alcyonenight (M) 8.4k // no because why did this fic literally have me punching my screen (completely real) while i was reading it. they both are so silly and dear to me (said in tears) but i love the hanahaki trope so bad and this was *chefs kiss*
burn up, burn out by alcyonenight (T) 8.6k AND pockets full of stones by alcyonenight (T) 11.6k // ELEAZAR AU!!! baby's first eleazar fic and it ruined her. miserably. i loved both of these so much, wonderful reads truly (they both made me so sad)
get on your nerves (to get your attention) by acynthe (M) 3.9k // what better way to get to know a character than by reading him pine over one person for way too long? right? anyways this fic really set me up into understanding that haikaveh = watching ice melt in the arctic during winter..
Work engagement by gwendee (G) 3.6k // silly little boys in their silly little parties with their silly little plans.. the line that stuck with me was bringing their love to new heights because cyno was right.. it was funny..
and yet by luminvies (G) 11.8k // this fic was so poetic and eloquent to me it was a wonderful read and kaveh is so silly girlie pop in it HAHA. but really, it was a wonderful read and i loved how fleshed out kaveh felt despite this being written before he was released LMFAO
In a Language He Understands by Maeyari (G) 13.2k // this was so funny and Kaveh becoming a homewrecker is so insane whaat (totally not fake and not clickbait) that aside, it was a very light hearted read and i enjoyed it very much
what are we by lionkeychain (T) 5.1k // if i had to re route you to Kaveh being the silliest dude alive it's this one right here. i would send you here. he is so . i am so . about him. AHHHHHHHHHH. anyways, he's just a dude with a lot of love ykwim?
inertia by smallghosts (T) 3.6k // i think it's funny how al-haitham plays fetch with Kaveh in like 85% of fics (this one included) anyways the summary was so funny i just had to read it and in context it's even funnier to me. Kaveh you're so funny ily king ('being in love with you is gross.' me: HELPDKLNLEEE?GLD>SD>? literal definition of boom roasted).
first love, worst love by caniculeo (M) 11.6k // babe wake up. the circus is back in town. babe go back to sleep. the girlies broke up.. again.. anyways. had to take a laugh break when al-haitham hit on nilou. literally put my device down and had to catch my breath. then when kaveh pointed behind al-haitham. oh god. ALSO highly recommend the second fic in the series with cynonari. cyno i love u my funny king.
Burgeon by gloomyparfait (T) 8.2k // another hanahaki fic rye? really? YES. please i love irrationality. they're so chewable in this fic i love them dearly. i need to blend them. mince them up like beef tartare.
okay this is not an extensive list (def missed some good ones i've read) and i have more i want to consume (!!!) but i haven't gotten around to some of the longer ones just cause my attention span is bad these days. i'm very excited for some of my future reads and so perhaps there will be a part two because i am down in the trenches right now. regardless, i hope you enjoyed this list and now it's time for me to disappear again. bye bye
also if you've written a fic on this list and you would prefer for it to not be on this list/on tumblr, just lmk and i'd be more than happy to remove you!
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