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flickeringart · 3 years

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Planets in the 8th House

Like all the watery houses, the 8th house is mysterious and potent, yet it’s difficult to fully get a grasp of. The area of life that this house represents are usually summarized by worn out key words; death, transformation, regeneration, rebirth, sex, shared finances, the occult, hidden complexes, power struggles, trauma, crisis and the list goes on… from these words one gathers that the 8th is not a light-hearted sphere of life – it signifies struggle and emotional intensity. Having planets in the 8th, strong Pluto or Scorpio influence usually revolves around the same themes – paranoia, the striving for control and a tendency to keep things private and buried in order to sustain power.

I’m not going to discuss the difference of having strong Scorpio-Pluto placements vs. having planets in the 8th house in this post, but since the sign, planet and house are linked and are symbolic of the same themes, there’s a lot of overlap that is to be expected.

A person with planet(s) in the 8th will not act out the planetary principles consciously. Usually, the energy is felt through their aura, quiet but evident, as if the planet makes its presence known without revealing itself. For example, someone with Venus in the 8th might not openly declare affection and love, except in the most intimate of settings, but it’s unquestionably there. Picture the goddess of love living within a person as a body of water. She is there, but she is slippery and unable to manifest through conscious expression in daily life. The reason for planets in the 8th house “hiding” usually has something to do with fear of losing control, of exposing something taboo and risky that could have dire consequences. We see this phenomenon in movies all the time – a person isn’t conscious of the fact the he or she is in love with a person but it’s obvious to everyone else – this would be typical of Venus in the 8th. One doesn’t dare to express it because it would alter the way of things, it would violate the sense of self-control and expose one’s vulnerability. Pain accompanies planets in the 8th, however benefic, because they impose themselves on the person and puts everything on the line. It’s a little bit like opening Pandora’s box – one can never go back to how things were before one fell in love, yet one resists the power with which one is pulled into a relationship. Even Venus and Jupiter, the most “positive” planets are operating in a way that makes the person feel out of control. Sure, it’s probably more positive to be invaded by love and abundance than anything else, but it can still be shocking and fearful to a person that doesn’t want to acknowledge the autonomy of the planet and has put up rigid defenses against it, only to have them be shattered. In the case of Venus in the 8th, personal love and affection is very private and usually has some kind of trauma or complex tied up with it. Looking at astrotheme’s database of people with Venus in the 8th , Miley Cyrus pops up at the top of the page with this placement. In some of her more personal songs, lyrics hint to her being afraid of love and intimacy. Even in her famous song “Wrecking Ball” she sings about falling under love’s spell and slowly seeing a relationship turn to “ashes on the ground”. If this isn’t typical symbolism of transformation through love I don’t know what is.

With the Moon in the 8th house, the person doesn’t openly express emotion – the emotions erupt volcanically from time to time, and it’s very uncomfortable for the person because there’s a feeling of being exposed and threatened that accompanies this release. Because of the fear that is tied up with emotion, the person might show dislike and defensiveness when faced with other people’s emotional expressions and needs. Sigmund Freud had his Moon in the 8th, which is very telling. He was obviously interested in uncovering the complexes behind certain reactions, presumably because he didn’t feel himself to be in control of his own emotions and inner life. He was certainly motivated to transform and free himself and his clients of the tight grip of the unconscious patterns of the 8th house. He explored the underlying mechanisms of repression, formulated the Oedipus complex and postulated the existence of libido – sexual energy with which the mental processes are invested. The Moon’s placement in the 8th would point to deeply rooted emotional and possibly sexual ties with the mother. The Oedipus complex is after all a desire for sexual involvement with the opposite sex and the presence of repressed incestuous instincts. Freud noted that he had wanted to marry his mother as a child to rival with the father and understood that it must be a universal principle among all boys in all cultures. This has not been thoroughly empirically proven, but it’s certainly reveals something about Freud’s own psychology. In any case with Moon in the 8th, the emotional and instinctual nature is accompanied with a sense of it being taboo and shameful. The emotional nature is experienced to be powerful beyond personal control.

Mercury in the 8th is a another story. Mercury is the planet of communication, thinking and deductive reasoning. When looking up people with this placement, it seems to me that it is common among people who speak up about uncomfortable topics, that which would be considered “risky business” to talk about. Prince Harry has this placement and he has been very open recently about his mental health struggles. Emma Watson has this placement and she has been an advocate for feminism and equality – preaching and advocating strongly with emotional investment when giving the famous UN speech in 2014. Lana Del Rey has this placement and she writes lyrics based on her own personal experiences, not shying away from dark topics like death, heartbreak, destructive and passionate relationships. It seems as if Mercury in this house gives the person a propensity for talking and thinking about that which in uncomfortable, for revealing difficult power-imbalances and dynamics taking place within the psyche. There’s usually a feeling of being cautious of what one reveals, of sitting on information that holds emotional power and that involves other people. With any planet in this house there’s a strong impulse to be aware of other people, in case of Mercury it’s what other people know and don’t know, what they say and don’t say. Mercury in the 8th might be indicative of a person who is controlled by what other people say and feels at the mercy of other people’s opinions – positively and negatively. The narratives and stories of other people might merge with the person on a deep level and fuel one’s own opinions. One might be exposed to challenging, discriminative and harmful opinions, even indoctrinated in them. When speaking one’s mind, one might have to summon a lot of bravery because more than likely there’s a bit of a chokehold that is being felt and effort that is required to break free from deeply instilled thought patterns. This placement could be indicative of a person that likes to think and communicate about deep and taboo topics, reveal and keep secrets.

With Mars in the 8th, one simple interpretation would be “someone who is prone to experience physical violence in intimate relationships”. Either one is the victim of it or the perpetrator, perhaps even a bystander or a protector. The violence, albeit linked to physical action, might just manifest in the form of acting without another’s best interest in mind. There’s usually a sense of being at the mercy of other people’s actions with this placement, but also of having no conscious control over one’s own motivations for doing things, one’s own drive to make things happen. Princess Diana had this placement, conjunct Pluto-Uranus, and she was far from feeling in absolute control of her direction in life. With Pluto-Mars the drive is buried and tied up with the primal survival instinct and latent rage. Her relationship with Prince Charles was anything but smooth and she felt like a victim to greater forces (Pluto-Uranus) making her act in a way that was, most certainly, driven by emotional complexes and not out of conscious will. She also behaved in a way with her compulsive eating and independent streak that was not favorably looked upon. J.F. Kennedy also had this placement, he too had difficulties on the relationship front, mostly because he had a compulsive sexual drive and had a lot of extramarital affairs. This is typical of Mars in the 8th being tied up with emotional complexes – he couldn’t stick to his wife; he had to prove himself and his masculinity through conquering women (he has Jupiter conjunct his Mars and we all know how faithful Jupiter was in mythology). His sexual appetite caused moral problems among the Secret Service agents who were employed to smuggle women in and out of the White House. His behavior was altogether inappropriate but somehow he survived politically as it was kept in the shadows. Diana certainly had her own extramarital affairs as well, perhaps to revenge Charles for his strong tie with Camilla and subsequent declining interest in their marriage. Mars in the 8th is undoubtedly indicative of action taken out of the need to retain emotional integrity, sometimes with unfavorable consequences. Notably, both Diana and J.F. Kennedy died suddenly, Diana in a car accident and J.F. Kennedy through assassination by a bullet. The 8th house is the house of death, and Mars here usually indicates a violent and sudden strike of “fate”.

Last but not least, let’s take a look at the Sun in the 8th house. The same people who shows up when searching for Mercury, Mars and even Venus, also have the Sun in this house; J.F. Kennedy, Lana Del Rey, Emma Watson and Prince Harry, which is not surprising considering that the inner planets never stray too far from the Sun. The Sun represents the ego, the sense of self-knowledge and self-awareness. The Sun is representative of the conscious center of the personality. This suggests that the people with this placement are painfully aware of death and violation, of the destructive nature of reality. While the Moon in the 8th might indicate that emotional reactions or lack thereof stem from deep seated autonomous complexes rooted in survival, the Sun might indicate a sense of self and self-expression that stems from the difficulties and hardships one has gone through. This placement can be understood in the sentiment “who am I without my trauma?”. There’s the tendency to identify with the ordeals of one’s life and how one overcame them (or didn’t). This dynamic is evident in all the people listed at the top of this paragraph. Prince Harry being a very obvious one that people make fun of nowadays – he’s coming out as a survivor of past down ancestral trauma, attempting to work through and shine a light on his personal struggles growing up within the Royal Family, attempting to separate himself from the curses of unconscious programming. Lana Del Rey certainly enjoys identifying and expressing the darker side of herself, illuminating the theme of death and emotional hardship in her songs. Emma Watson also seems to identify with the hurt and injustice present in the world and is a spokesperson for collective movements (Sun in the 8th, Leo in the 11th). J.F. Kennedy has the same Sun –Leo house setup as Emma, channeling his experience of personal hardships into his career and public life. In a sense, people who want to appeal to the masses and make a change on a large scale must be personally invested enough to fuel the movement. In the case of the 8th house being involved with Kennedy and Watson, they might feel as if their sense of self is dictated by other people’s values or that they would have to fight to remain in control of their sense of self. As the Sun relates to the father, the father figure might’ve been quite controlling, demanding and dominant. If the Moon in the 8thsays something about a mother complex, the Sun in the 8thdefinitely says something about a father complex.

#planets in the 8th house #mars in the 8th house #venus in the 8th house #mercury in the 8th house #astrology signs #8th house in astrology #moon in the 8th house #sun in the 8th house #personal planets #house placements #houses in astrology

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

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Re; Ahsoka and Quinlan being the same age, now I'm picturing Ahsoka, Quinlan, and Rex eventually ending up in a weird sorta thruple where Quinlan comes in and out of the relationship but the door is kinda always open for him? And Rex spends a lot of mornings eyeing the tangle of orange and brown skin on the other side of the bed like he has no idea how he ended up here but he's (mostly) okay with that tbh

Context: Commander Buir in chronological order

YES okay so this is wild to me that people are invested in this but like half the time-travel fics with Ahsoka in the same age-group as Quinlan have me wondering if I should ship them. Let me just. Ho shit.

So, okay, I've explored a lot of possible dynamics but there's something really engaging about how Quinlan, trained as a Shadow before the Sith came back, could react to a War Padawan. Ahsoka isn't really infiltration material yet, she's very much a frontline fighter, but she's got a lot more experience with a kind of consistent dark atmosphere that most Jedi don't. They get exposed to plenty of dark stuff, sure, but not the kind of all-encompassing "this is my life for the last two years" thing that is usually reserved for the long-term field agents like Shadows and Watchmen.

The War Padawans, for all that they were supposed to be just normal Jedi Padawans, were living in the kind of consistently negative environment that's normally experienced by those Knighted Sentinels.

So Ahsoka, while still generally pretty young in these AUs, is a very odd kind of person to be around, because she's spunky and vivacious and snippy and affectionate and snarky and knows how to break every bone in your body from harrowing experience as the only thing standing between death and thousands of brothers.

And Quinlan, I imagine, really likes that about her. She gets it, and she's still an energetic and loving and trying to do her best to be a good person despite everything. He gravitates towards her and she... well, she's not blind. She can tell he's interested. And she's not upset about that.

ANYWAY, ONTO REX

So, Rex is... technically twelve. He hasn't exactly got a whole lot of experience with romance. He is also, up until the point of time-travel, legal property of the Senate and the Jedi Order, which means that Ahsoka, or at least her community, owns him. He was indoctrinated to serve her and that community. She also outranks him, for all that she usually lets him take the lead in the field due to experience. He's older than her physically and maturity-wise, but she's also had a grow-up-faster-than-you-should adolescence, and she has superpowers.

What I'm saying is, the power dynamic is fucked up.

(Unironically I spent hours last night realizing that it balances out a lot more than C*dywan does, which I'm censoring because by god do I not want discourse on this post. I like both ships, and don't want to argue about what's the most problematic. It's Star Wars. The only unproblematic ships are Bail/Breha and Owen/Beru.)

Here's the thing, though, because the main thing people seem to argue here is the age/maturity difference as a problem area:

The age difference in actual time is four years, which is smaller than the two main ships of the franchise (Han/Leia and Padme/Anakin, to be clear). The age difference in maturity is ??? We'll say that the clones started aging normally after they hit twenty, so the age difference in maturity is six years... which is still normal for SW ships.

(This is why I don't have any issues with the ship in a post-O66 context, once they've had a few years to move past the traumas and whatnot. The age stuff all evens out with time, they're a good team, and neither was grooming the other. It's not objectively any more problematic than most SW ships at that point, and I'm okay with that. They deserve to be happy if they want.)

But they get yanked away from all that structure of who owns what, who reports where, who has which rank, who's legally a person in the eyes of the Republic when they end up on Dagobah. Once they've registered when they are, the only remaining complications are:

He grew up in a cultlike environment and was indoctrinated to serve her (but has been replacing that indoctrination with genuine respect and affection for her as a person because they've worked together for two years).

She has superpowers (contextually not a big problem: we see several Force-Sensitive/Non-Sensitive ships that don't consider those powers a complicating element)

He's several years younger than her (canonically less of an issue than it could be: Cut got married and has kids) and has next to no experience with what a normal romance looks like except for hanging out on the edges of whatever the fuck his General has going on with the Senator

She's several years less mature than he is (...something of an issue)

So a lot of this is mostly okay. She feels weird about the fact that she's got more knowledge of romance and all that it entails. He feels weird about the fact that, despite her being older, he looks at her and sees someone that's still a little young, not quite a shiny. Except she is older than him, and he's seen her behead four people in a single move, and they've saved each other's lives more times than either of them can count anymore. He respects her, and the fact that she's babyfaced doesn't change the fact that, in terms of who they are as people and warriors, they're on a level playing field.

She still looks at him and mourns his lost childhood, and he still looks at her and takes a moment to see past the too-big eyes and adolescent proportions.

But they really, really care about each other, and maybe part of them is starting to recognize that there's a bit of a crush before they time-travel, but neither one wants to make a move. There's a lot of baggage on both sides, a lot of "but they're a child" and "but they're (literally vs functionally) below me in the chain of command, I can't take advantage of that" and all that fun stuff. It's the kind of situation where two people circle each other for ages without making a move, because actually making that move is terrifying on account of not knowing whether the other party knows they can say no, on top of the usual "what if it ruins our friendship?" thing.

What happens on Dagobah, though... is very tropey. They're sort of stranded until Ahsoka can fix the ship, and that takes time. The area is also very heavy with the Force, dense and heady with the energy it carries, and it's... actually really not great for Ahsoka. She keeps feeling like she's back on Mortis, and has nightmares from the trigger there, but also keeps hallucinating because she wasn't ready for the thickness of the energy (like Yoda) or still new enough to the Force that she couldn't feel how dense it all was (like Luke). She can't work on the engines as constantly as she'd like to get them out of there, and while Rex is a competent mechanic, he's not as skilled with it as the girl who jumped headfirst into lessons with Anakin.

Rex spends a lot of time holding Ahsoka and wiping her brow with a wet cloth while she's feverish and out of it. Yes we're going full Florence Nightingale romance here, let me have my fun.

They get the communications relay working earlier than the engine, find out the year is wrong, panic a bit. All is well. (It's not, but they're holding it together for now.)

Ahsoka keeps working on the engine when she's lucid. Rex keeps hunting up game and edible plants for them while she does. They cuddle at night, because it's not cold but it is empty of the people they care about, and they kind of want that reassurance of someone they trust and love at their back.

(Morai visits.)

(Daughter shows up in the nightmares, tells Ahsoka that age will not come for her beloved until the time is natural for it. The phrasing is dumb but she does manage to convey that the accelerated aging is no longer an issue, if it even was after they hit adulthood. Ahsoka is relieved.)

And, you know, emotions happen. She takes his hand while they're leaning up against each other. He kisses her forehead while she's having a bad spell. They cook together and tell jokes to keep sane and spar. They hug each other through nightmares and panic attacks. There is much blushing. There is much cuddling.

Once, they kiss.

They break apart, flushing and stammering and being very awkward about the whole thing, and make excuses to leave and panic about the fact that they!! Kissed!!!!!

A couple hours later they find each other again, and have a long and complicated discussion about why they like each other (war makes bedfellows, there's trust and affection and all that fun stuff) and why they're hesitant (age stuff, maturity stuff, prior indoctrination), and make the decision to take it slow. They cuddle, and kiss, and blush a lot because both of them are basically just dumb teens having their first real relationship.

They eventually leave the planet, make it to Coruscant, etc. It takes a bit for anyone except Obi-Wan to realize that something's changed between them. Most people didn't know them before, and Anakin's observation skills are currently at a very low ebb. But they sit together and hold hands, and flirt when they spar, and once or twice people find them kissing (both standard and Keldabe) in a corner while holding hands and then just smiling at each other like loons.

They end up rooming together because nobody has the heart to separate them after hearing about all the war stuff. Like yes attachment's bad, but these two do seem to understand loss of loved ones and recognize that they could lose each other at any time and death is natural and they won't lose their entire shit about it, and if even General Kenobi is anxious as hell about being separated from the people he fought side-by-side with for two years, then maybe it's just... really normal for those two to want each other's company, and everyone can just turn a blind eye to the romance happening.

They share a bed, but they only ever sleep in it. Like, there's some goodnight kisses and cuddles, but everything is very G-rated until they've had time to settle into being true equals instead of just the "well, I guess the power dynamics balance out? Maybe?" of before.

And just... yeah. Rex does not believe that he's in this good of a position whenever he has the time to think about it. He's got a girlfriend! A really pretty, smart, strong, skilled one! Who thinks he's a cool dude! How the fuck did a clone like him manage that? He wasn't even legally a person a year ago, how did he end up in bed with one of the most amazing people he's ever met? He spends multiple nights just staring at her while he tries to fall asleep, asking himself how he got here and just like... marveling at her. She's worth marveling at. He's in love and she's amazing and he has no idea how to handle it at all.

...yeah no I have a lot of feelings now.

#Rexsoka #Ahsoka Tano #Captain Rex #Quinlan Vos #time travel #Commander Buir #Phoenix Posts

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piccolina-mina · 3 years

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Our girl is thriving this season, but what the fuck is this Wyatt plot? I need your thinks about this one. I just knew you'd be six posts in on this by now. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*sighs* For fk's sake, nonny. I don't even like talking about it because I get ranty.

What do you want me to say? Honestly, everything you can imagine I would feel about this, you're probably right. Because you know, I'm that b*tch always getting ranty about racism and stuff.

In short, I hate it. I think it's unnecessary, tone-deaf, random, pointless, lowkey offensive, and illogical. I legitimately find it triggering AF. And it doesn't make sense.

It's Unnecessary. There is a fraction of a chance that it will connect to something more significant, but even if that's the case, I'm confident that end result or connection could've taken place without this random reform racist Wyatt storyline. This series has struggled enough as it is properly utilizing all of its primary characters as well as providing them with decent screentime and arcs. It literally makes no sense to spend any of that time that could be used elsewhere on primary characters on a recurring guest star.

This isn't actually about Rosa, it's about Wyatt. Following up on the previous point, this specific arc caters to Wyatt. Revolves around Wyatt. Rosa is just a passive participant and vessel for this Wyatt storyline. So again, the arc itself is about a recurring character. At least when they did something similarly bringing back Cam to siphon time and arcs away from its main cast they found ways to implement it better and tied her to multiple main characters, so it wasn't a total waste.

The intended Wyatt/Rosa parallel is illogical. I know what they're intending to do with this storyline, drawing parallels between Rosa's experience coming back from the dead after ten years and trying to make sense of that and atone for things before and having this second chance to make things right and go down the right path and so forth and Wyatt losing his memory and his racist ways and having to reconcile with who he was to who he can be and all of that. I understand the concept they're trying to sell. It just doesn't work. Rosa's addiction is not equivalent to Wyatt's racism and violence. Her mental illness isn't either. It's dangerous to invite the comparasions with this storyline.

It's not successful redemption. True redemption is Wyatt knowing and remembering his actions and then trying to atone for them. It's not the convenience of amnesia wiping out his memory only giving him distance from his actions rather than really facing up to them. Because of the amnesia, to Wyatt, it's like he's hearing about another person. It's a cop out. He doesn't Actually have to do the work to redeem himself or atone or learn or grow. IF we're supposed to compare it to Rosa, she knew what she did and remembers and knows how she hurt her loved ones or whatever and she's actively trying to make amends for that as part of her program... a program that Wyatt isn't working or anything BTW.

They've contradicted themselves too much and are rewriting their own work and thus twisting everything up just to make this storyline work and it still doesn't. The timeline is all fkd up... what they established already all of it..The Longs were racist before Kate's death. Kate was racist. To suggest that a 10+ amnesiac blackout clean slates and erases all of Wyatt's racism is just wrong. As in it literally doesn't even make any sense. That is not how the amnesia works but they keep playing both sides of it trying to make it work. To sell us what they're claiming, he would have to have ALL of his memories wiped and have forgotten who he was completely.

Wyatt is behaving like he's shocked by racism in this town but they're also trying to argue that he was born into it. Wyatt was surrounded by racists and his friends come from racist families but he's acting like the very concept of him ever being ingratiated in it is some huge surprise. Wyatt looks affronted by things like Confederate flags. Wyatt being steeped in and surrounded by racism predates his amnesia period.

Kyle mentioned that line about Wyatt putting Whites Only on water fountains, and it sounded like a school prank. It also sounded like something Kyle was reminding Rosa of as if she was alive when that incident happened. Therefore, Wyatt was doing racist stuff before she died. Kyle would've been out of school by then so how else would he know that or why would he bother retaining it?

IF Wyatt and Rosa really were friends before (which holy retcon), then it makes no real sense that he would get psychopathically angry about his "friend" who does drugs getting into a car accident with his sister who does drugs. He would've mourned them both not jumped to severe racism and violence. But both he and Jasmine's family (who are MIA for all of this) did that... jumped to racism. So was Wyatt indoctrinated by his family or indoctrinated by message boards and shit? And if Wyatt and Rosa were friends than why was Kate such a racist bitch to Rosa?

They're backdrafting history JUST to make this storyline that we don't need with a character who isn't even a main one to work.

By not actually addressing that Wyatt has to unlearn racism and giving him an out through amnesia, there is the very realistic issue of that latent racism to come out at any given time. What happens when he's drunk? What happens when he's really angry at a POC?

Tying Wyatt's redemption with his clear affection for Rosa is again dangerous and irresponsible. I know we would all like to think that love is the way and through love it can heal racism, but that puts the responsibility on the disenfranchised person to be "lovable." Because if Wyatt WAS friends with Rosa once then that means the second Rosa did something unlovable she was just another *insert racist slur of choosing* right? It means that there's a possibility that if his feelings for Rosa dwindle or things go sideways in some way there's a chance that he could revert back to those racist ways. Loving Rosa(linda) and pinning all of his wanting to be better on her because of her makes his actively learning to be anti-racist conditional. Right now he's not doing this for him. He's doing it because of Rosa.

This entire storyline has placed the burden of forgiveness on Rosa, his victim. Without him ever having to actually make amends. It's this turn the other cheek BS that means there's nothing too big or harmful that can't result in forgiveness. It relies on Rosa and all that she represents to extend an inhumane level of mercy and grace to their tormentor and oppressor that was never once extended to them. It's such a consistent and problematic thing projected on disenfranchised parties that ONLY benefits the majority and makes them feel good. It's a narrative of meeting someone halfway when the playing field was uneven and the minorities are in actuality doing more work and making a longer trek. Halfway and meeting in the middle only works if both sides were even. They are not. It's the reaching across the aisle both sidesms when one side was clearly and actively more harmful than the other and than calling that peace and equity. It is not.

This storyline was meant to scintillate some viewers with this "what if" notion and teach others a meaningful lesson or be this poorly thought out gateway to exploring a complex storyline but it came at the expense of other demographics who actively have to deal with racist crap. And because of their problematic approach what is simply "just entertainment" to some who has the luxury of not having to think about it beyond that, is just gross and insanely triggering and uncomfortable to others. The others who deal with the reality of the subject at hand.

They wrote themselves into a corner with Wyatt so trying to dig him out of that no matter the cost or logic is absurd. This storyline could've worked better if Wyatt's racism didn't also include conscious, constant, extreme violence. But they spent all of this time making Wyatt the face of violent racism and now are trying to redeem him with no real effort. He wasn't just using slurs or making microaggressions. He wasn't some insensitive or aloof white person. He is a murderer. He has killed people. He technically murdered Liz in cold-blood. He knew she was in the crashdown when he shot up the place. The lights were still on. He beat up Arturo so badly he nearly killed him well after his friends even stopped. He attacked and intended to kill Rosa. And his handiwork was a constant thing, enough for Jenna to comment on it. And now we're supposed to ignore all of that because he has amnesia and has puppy dog eyes?

The fact that we can entertain (and for some succeed) Wyatt in all of his hot white dudeness' redemption after everything he has done slips into the inherent racism of society in the first place and is enraging. Because systemically and culturally and inherently society will bend over backwards to find a way to absolve a hot white guy no matter his actions. Flint and Noah couldn't get this type of redemption... So their intended storyline about evolving from racism STILL plays into the racist structures set up in society.

And because some people like it, there's this slippery territory of NO everyone who genuinely enjoys this aren't racist for enjoying it. But yes, this entire storyline and how it is playing out is at the very least racially insensitive.

In order for this storyline to work they would actually have to show Wyatt doing the work. They don't have enough time to dedicate to such a delicate storyline. It's been a C and D filler storyline with 45 second to a minute scenes. That's not enough time to explore this properly. We would've needed to see Wyatt returning home from the hospital. We would've needed to see Wyatt with his friends and it not feeling right and his discomfort. We would've needed to see Wyatt going through his yearbook and googling himself and the horror and disgust he felt. We would need to see this through his eyes. But we didn't have the time for that and we wouldn't have anyway because he's not a main character. We only get Wyatt through Rosa's eyes and they haven't even dedicated enough time to that for it to work. Rosa isn't conflicted at all. She didn't struggle to forgive him. She was reduced to a school girl with a crush and an insane level of grace and they just threw that at us with no buildup whatsoever. I don't know where Rosa's head is and how she got to this to place. Not really. And the only thing working about this is the chemistry between two actors who are allegedly dating so of course there's chemistry.

It literally feels like another instance of a favorite actor being shoehorned into a storyline just for the hell of it. Just because they didn't want to let Dylan go or something. Just to give him something else to do.

#anti wyatt long #rnm salt #roswell new mexico #rnm ask

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ghostietea · 4 years

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Ok, I'm going to say it: Akito being paired off in the end and shoved into a "happy" het relationship is an egregiously bad writing choice.

Akito's arc at the end of Fruits Basket is one of self discovery and breaking cycles of abuse, and it is one that she has recently started where we leave off. She is making an admirable effort, but also is very newly trying to learn how to fix things and have functional relationships after a lifetime of toxicity and indoctrination. No matter how hard she's trying Akito is still in a growing phase, and has a very long way to go. Additionally, after losing her entire worldview and support system, she would be in a pretty vulnerable state, and is trapped in a loop of immense self loathing. At this point in her journey, Akito needs to focus on building platonic relationships, especially considering that she has almost no experience in companionship outside of the context of the curse. Also consider that she has issues with dependance, especially with the zodiac, and a lot of her growth is about independence, doing things by herself, and not clinging on to old relationships. To put it simply, Akito is not in a position where she should be entering a romantic relationship and, in fact, it would make more sense for her arc to leave her single. And above all, the elephant in the room still stands: less then a month ago this character literally stabbed her ex in the back. Even ignoring other factors, this is in no way a person that should be dating anytime soon and it is truly baffling that she would be part of an endgame relationship.

And it just gets worse when you consider the context of the relationship she's in. Akito and Shigure are undeniably incredibly toxic, to the point of being mutually abusive. Takaya obviously did this on purpose, which just makes what comes later even more confusing. Akito should not be in a relationship at all, and she should certainly not be in a relationship with a man who has been manipulating her for years on end as she has been manipulating him too and, may I remind you, slept with her abusive mom specifically to spite her. These characters are consistently shown to have a really twisted relationship, only to be abruptly flipped to "whoops, happy couple now" in the last volume. I'm not saying that relationships can't start out toxic and develop into something good, but you have to put a lot of time and growth into their story to sell it. Tossing two charachters from point a to b for the sake of a "happy" ending is just bad writing. Akito may have changed, but only recently; on such a rotten base it would be too easy to slip back into old habits and there was no stage shown of significant development in their relationship. Again, not showing the development is a fatal mistake in writing a relationship like this. Even if we give Akito the benefit of the doubt since she had a "redemption arc" (as I said above, this doesn't work) that's not even touching on the fact that Shigure did not really change in regards to her, no, he simply had no reason left to fight at the current moment because he got exactly what he wanted, which was having her all to himself (Concerning when combined with the fact that we know from Furubana that Akito will let people abuse her because, again, she absolutely hates herself. I'm not saying things would go like that but character that thinks they deserve mistreatment+character that mistreated them in the past is not a good look.). Shigure didn't magically have an epiphany about his treatment of Akito, he won. You can't even say this relationship is okay now since they both changed enough, because they didn't. This is not just Akito getting into a relationship in the wrong headspace, this is Akito getting into a relationship with a long history of mutual abuse, jealousy, and toxicity with a former zodiac and it being treated as something that's completely fine.

So you have this character. After spending the whole series being a toxic and horrendous person, she has the realization that has been coming since the beginning, and decides to change. A lot of her arc is about finding out who she is after tying her whole identity to a construct, and realizing that she has to be herself and live as a human instead of a God, has to learn how to find friends that want her around as a person from outside her weird cult. She is just starting to make a few friends, starts trying to figure out herself and how to be independent and kind, and cuts off a centuries long cycle of abuse. This character is still working for her reformation, still figuring things out, still building new relationships from the ground up. Additionally, this character has severe trauma that she is in no way is recovered from on top of all of that and honestly needs to see a professional. It. Makes. No. Sense. To. Give. Her. An. Endgame. Ship. Was it not for the ship, Akito's ending, while still rushed, would be a million times stronger, and that's why it frustrates me so much. And I'm not saying that Akito shouldn't be shipped, or that I think she should never have romantic love, and especially not that she doesn't deserve to be loved at all as I've said already that that her having platonic relationships is important. I'm saying that it should have been left out of the cannon ending with the story as is. So, if the story would be better with this easy fix, why.

Well, I think this, as many other problems with the story, boils down to Natsuki Takaya's immense dedication to extreme heteronormativity. You can see this everywhere, by the end near everyone in paired off into neat little m/f sets. This goes for immensely queer coded characters like Yuki and characters such as Rin who should probably get to heal and build more friendships before rekindling her relationship. Oftentimes couples being paired up actively makes this story's arcs weaker, which sucks because characters are Furuba's main draw. So many issues could have been fixed if Takaya didn't need her happy hets. Akito's arc is, like many other characters, especially the women, held down because the author decided to hit her in the head with the het stick. (Which is extra bad considering her and her arc are heavily queercoded and Takaya tries to make her seem as het and gender conforming as she can post redemption which is, uhhh. But this is not the post about queercoding villains and arcs that should have been gay.)

In the end, you can say or feel what you want, but the fact still stands: Akito Sohma being in an endgame relationship is bad writing at best and seriously concerning at worst.

#fruits basket #akito sohma #shigure sohma #fruits basket spoilers #meta

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sanghyukstattoos · 3 years

Text

City of Major

Summary: Major Yoo Taeyang makes every excuse he can to see you, he likes you but unknowingly, he has also fallen into a plan intricately crafted by you and Captain Kim Youngkyun

Genre: Mystery au? [Warnings: descriptions of anxiety (fear of death; recurrent traumatic memories and cues for them to resurface whether verbal or situational; repulsion towards an individual concerning sex + the individual's involvement in a sexual crime but not the principle offender), mentions of guns, death (murder and death of another team, many witnesses), sexual assault (also referred to as rape) and physical assault (refers to the physical assault as a punishment, implications of reinforcing hierarchy in a derogatory manner) references to being dispatched in the military, result of civil wars/indirect reference to poverty]; Fluff-flu; smut (so brief that if you blink, you'll miss it)

Characters: Yoo Taeyang x reader x Hwiyoung I Kim Youngkyun

A/N: None of the images in the collage are mine, refer to here for more; For more SF9, read here, for iKON, read here and for optional bias writings, read here

As he steps outside the building and slips past the guard, the cool air becomes his. He adorns a striped shirt with subtle colours so that he does not stand out particularly in the dark, except for the occasional illumination by the streetlights over- head. His steps are light, careful not to alert the two people ahead, in this case, he makes sure to tread lightly. One eye is out on his surroundings, for stray animals or motorbikes. A third carefully watches him from the back, smiling at the unknown.

There's nothing in sight, at least for the next metre or so. Youngkyun's first time following a pair just so happens to be the two of you. One of the two is Major Yoo Taeyang, not forever defined by his numerous accomplishments but by his dutiful services to the military. The second of the two is you, never sought-after despite your unlawfulness, but penned by your achievements towards the community.

Now that Youngkyun's been drafted to this base- coincidental occurrences, not anything that either he or the Major would wish for, he can tell the truth. Some people will believe him like the higher-ups who have let their doubts about the Major's reports fester for months but wave at him when they see him. Ruthless killer. Others will doubt but come around. There's nothing Youngkyun can do now, but sit and wait on his pot of gold.

For every moment that he remains in the proximity of a place that worships an individual such as the Major, Youngkyun is reminded, very frequently of what he had to undergo whilst he was taking orders from him. He's close when you and the Major pause, right in the middle of the street as if you have done this many times before, automatically, with no fear of being interrupted. Then again, it is the place itself. It is deserted for miles with boundless high-rise buildings. Youngkyun slips into a dark corner, watching you from there. It's the side entrance to one of the buildings, two staircases to navigate in the dark.

Your safety has been on his mind since the first time you've been involved, with him, in this plan. Except him, everyone is in the right place. He is supposed to be in bed, snoring to the lull of soothing dreams. But when he remembered what was occurring today, his eyes snapped open with a blurry view of his ceiling. Half asleep and just like that, he got out of his bed and dressed in a hurry, not bothering to question the rationality of his actions.

His eyes squint to make out the figures, looking away when they meet, connecting their lips in the dark of the night. They pull apart and exchange something, most likely words of affirmation. Guiltily, he begins to move when they do. He pulls back, slithering back into the unlit corner. Further down, away from the figures, close to Youngkyun, he sees an automatic light perk on from the corner of his eyes. There are no alleyways either. So, there is someone else behind him.

Youngkyun sighs, he can't move unless whoever's following him does. He looks both ways, making sure that he doesn't lose the direction you headed in or get caught in a two-way intersection with the person behind him. Ahead is an alleyway, narrow and enclosed by two large green bins with black tops. Youngkyun makes a run for them. He looks behind as he runs, twice turning his head in caution before slipping into the small space.

He sighs when he gets there, he's locked. The bins are against the wall and he's standing in between them. It feels like he's floating, an obvious interpretation because although little light catches his figure, anybody could see him. 'I'm not great at this'., he thinks, racking his head for a solution. The figures now disappear out of sight. Not being able to crouch or look past the wall, he turns his attention to the figure that was following him.

You've left, he sighs. He also takes two steps back, quickly, out of extreme caution, instinctively raising his hands. A figure clutches the gun with both their hands, pointing it at his face. Their posture is relaxed, far from the average- not bent at the knees or directing a glare at Youngkyun. There's real fear that fills his system, freezing his legs to the ground and hands at the side, unable to reach for his gun. A hand pats his trousers and it's taken away.

The fear is much more prominent now, clutching Youngkyun's throat, squeezing it. It's more of a tug than a squeeze. A figure, enshrouded in black emerges from behind, swaying a little as it makes its way to oblivious Youngkyun. It presses into the tufts of his hair and touches the scalp. ''Don't move'' a scruffy voice says from behind him, walking to the front where Youngkyun can see him. The figure that made himself apparent never leaves his gun's aim on Youngkyun’s tummy when he clamours Youngkyun's pockets for any weapons that he may be carrying.

Youngkyun's throat runs dry and his fingers begin to tremble. He looks at the figure in front, not tearing his eyes off him. They finish, chuckling as they pocket his weaponry, only weaponry.

The one on the left has black hair, brown eyes, and wears a skin tight shirt, made from the material of gym clothes along with cargo trousers. Youngkyun knows who he is, by face not by personality. He tailed Youngkyun and his group- peeking from behind buildings, on foot rather than in a car. Everybody wanted to see the husband of an undercover cop that day. They have contacts everywhere, from the owner of the restaurant in the building to the guard sitting inside, payment to the gang in the area perhaps.

Youngkyun can take the two but is outnumbered by weapons. The figure on the right is unknown to him. His dark circles are prominent, uniform worn-out, maybe from a recent mission. Youngkyun had heard of it but they could not track them. 'Or maybe that isn't it', Youngkyun thinks. The figure is bulky and imposes his presence by towering over Youngkyun's one point seven nine metre frame. He has a scar on his chest, a diagonal line, peeking out from his shirt and an unshaven beard.

''Come with us, our-'' the one on the left speaks.

''Why'd you search me?'', Youngkyun asks.

''Formality. Our boss wishes to speak to you, over.. certain misunderstandings.''

''What misunderstandings?''

''Over Major Yoo Taeyang's report, from the next state over.'' he said, whispering the last bit.

''I can't give you that information, details are confidential.'' Youngkyun says, pushing the most terrible of memories away. They came first.

''You murdered that reporter didn't you?'' he says, predetermined, rehearsed, as if he knew that they would come to this point.

Youngkyun feels a slight chill run through his hands in the warm, damp air of the night. Sweat clouds his back, staining his top in various places. He feels cold, his blood freezing. They sound so convinced about it.

''Come on, soldier'' the one on the right impatiently grabs Youngkyun's hand, hustling him forward. He's stopped by the one on the left.

Pulling his hand from the bulky man's grasp, Youngkyun states, ''You have some misunderstandings as well. That man is dead not because of me.''

The man makes a face as if he has heard everything he needs to. ''You have all the reason in the world to deny it. Let's go.'' he says.

The gun pointed at his torso, an easy angle to just pull the trigger is only out of sight when Youngkyun sits in the car. It's classy, a contrast to the two men.

They are efficient but not by much of the standard. From hasty steps behind him to the accidental flickering of the light, everything was predictable, save for the man hiding in the pitch black of the alley. Neither of them caught him flinching then.

''You'll meet her.'' the driver says, he was the one on the left of medium height and novice, almost- professional with this new experience. Youngkyun jumps at the word her. The driver chuckles, ''Slow down, she's not enthusiastic to see you.''.

The bulky man sitting next to him speaks up, ''Just a formality.''.

Youngkyun repeats the words, staring out of the window.

The driver drops the passengers off outside a dark blue building, decorated with luxurious apartments. A ground floor apartment's lights are on and people are moving about, happily dancing and giggling to music that can be heard by Youngkyun and the ruffian man.

The two pause to stare at the scene, Youngkyun is unimpressed, motivated by other feelings but the other guy is in mock awe. They press on, the guy says nothing all the way up the three flights of stairs. They pass by an elevator each time but make no move to use it. Easier to run away if they were being shot at.

You sit in the apartment, taking in a deep, good breath after hastily preparing for Youngkyun's arrival. Youngkyun knew you way before you were indoctrinated into your family's business. You were stubborn, righteous and had a few sets of rules that you lived by, no matter what. You were also justice-loving, ironic given that your family's business wasn't selling groceries or something, it was one of gangs in the area.

Youngkyun knew that Yoo Taeyang wanted to use your family. But that's as far as he knew. It was only half the story. If you were not going to use Taeyang back, you would not hesitate to shoot him. You wouldn't kill him to honour one of your principles. That did not mean that you wouldn't harm him towards the point of death.

You proved yourself with all the experience your family could provide you with. You knew that Taeyang was climbing up ranks in his head and trying to make it reality too, by buying off your family. It went from little stocks in the business to sleeping with you, every time he had a day off. He wasn't a bad guy either, just a little narcissist with twisted values from his father.

He insisted that he had good intentions. But people committed the worst crimes in humanity with their good intentions.

The figure nodded to you, leaving Youngkyun at the door. Youngkyun was relieved to see you but that went away quite quickly. Much more was what you were wearing, night clothes. Lace loose at the shoulders fell shortly below your buttocks, another strip tied around your waist. You left the door open and turned to the living room.

He shut the door behind him, locking it, taking his shoes off and admiring the open space. There was very little in the middle except for an antique glass table on a large, comfortable rug. Plush red sofas with jewels embedded in the handles stood out against the wall, two tall glass cupboards filled with ornaments and foreign gifts from around the world were placed in the corners.

You sat on one side of the glass table with your back against the sofas while Youngkyun took the opposite, crossing his legs and placing his hands firmly on his knees. His breath stopped short when you raised your arms to remove your hair tie, letting hair fall all over your shoulders.

You noticed his eyes following your movements. You chuckled, ''What do I have for you? Is that your question.''

''Uh-yes, yes it is.'', he says, clearing his throat.

You chuckle, wondering why this nervous behaviour of his. ''Is your behaviour flighty because of those men?'', you question.

''Yes you should stop doing that. It scares me every time.'' he says, with more confidence, leaning on his palms.

''I'm sorry, maybe next time.'', you say, carefully taking into account his anxiety. ''You weren't supposed to be there today.'' you continue.

Why were you there? is the question.

''I've made my mind up. The recording? Push the date up further, today. I'll do it today.'' Youngkyun almost rambles on. He'll kill two birds with one stone today.

''You don't-'' you start. He really doesn't have to. He should take his time and prepare.

''I have to, you should now. The full story.''

You sigh, ''come with me.'', standing up and walking in the direction of your room.

Youngkyun walks past you to inspect the room, purely out of instinct. You motion with your hand and tell him to do as he pleases before he turns to you and apologises. He had this right. A surge of anxiousness overcomes him, for many reasons.

Youngkyun had been with you before and you had been there, to see him break multiple laws. Him. You were a middle ground, neither here nor there or a grey area between your rival gang and the police. You knew snippets of what Youngkyun had been through on his missions under Yoo Taeyang. You needed to hear the full perspective from him. From someone who had observed and been through it all.

Youngkyun knows that you want to help him. Nothing of semblance to push his anxiety further down the edge, like hidden cameras or audio equipment, the newest probably hidden somewhere, in something easy to look over like an ornament.

You had no ornaments in the room, except for the paintings. Painted by you, having taken over hours and hours to complete, to reach that stage of luxury. Taking a seat to calm his spinning head, he faintly clutches the rich covers underneath. They give him warmth, which he doesn't need in this weather and the urge to fall asleep on them.

You haven't moved from your place behind him, watching him search the place with inquisitive, trained eyes, meant to detect things. ''It's safe here'' you are soft about it, trying to encourage him, coax it out of him.

''He will go to jail.'', he says after a pause.

''Evidence?'', it can't be circumstantial.

''Eyewitness testimony.''

''Who?''. He is one of the witnesses.

''Can't say now.'', protecting them.

''What did he do?''. Another way of asking, How did he do it? Earn his rank plus the commendation of his seniors?

You sit next to him, holding a recorder in your hand, urging him to say it again as you begin. ''Major Yoo was the one who sent those soldiers to stop the raid of a gang on the resources held at another base. They expected them to be armed but they did not expect them to know that they were coming.''

''Where was this?''

''Past the front entrance of South Central, two blocks down.''. It didn't mean anything to you.

''Did he give those orders himself?''

''That he did.'', a preamble to all of Taeyang's troubles.

''What happened to those soldiers, Captain?''

''They died, we have reason to believe that they were ambushed. A reporter working in the area colluded with the gang, soldiers- ten individuals sent there to stop the attack on a high status official. Presumably a raid on the base's resources, had tons of it all stacked and going nowhere, not to the hungry people in the village. Major must have not known, none of them made it back because of the information he had shared with the reporter. The failure was the result of planning irresponsibly.''

''How?''

''He must have changed his report when he realised his mistake. They noticed so many people missing and investigations were open for quite some time. But Taeyang's elaborate, smart as hell, first reason he got that position, that and his capabilities in the field, calm and composed. He reported it differently, worded it in a way that allowed him to evade responsibility. It was premature, they didn't have enough information to go in in the first place but they were still sent.''.

Easier to control his wrong-doings from there, once you are high in status, people will come for you. Being high-status is also the fastest way to lose your job, if you aren't careful, you think. It is one of the cautions you are aware of as a leader.

''He's done it before.''. Youngkyun thinks. He isn't actively working on this case. They need a draft, someone to summarise it up. Surely they have asked other members of Youngkyun's team to do the same. Investigations into the Major have been conducted for sometime now. It is only now that they made themselves apparent.

''Done what?''. The closer you get to the truth, the harder it is to ask him questions. Especially given the fact that you were new to this. You didn't know what questions to ask. You wish he would just tell you everything, straight up.

''Frame someone else for his mistakes, must give him immense anxiety.''

''Anything is relevant right now.''.

''When I was under his orders, he made the mistake of replacing a code book. Going out would make it look like our country was in a pretence to the other, they had a contract or something. It was burned when we got it back, he was let off, save for his assistant.'', he clenched his teeth about. You knew about this.

''Pinned it on him?''

''I don't even know if that's possible. He had officials gloss over their reports, to cover for him because of what they believe he can achieve. To escape like that, he murdered once and he'll do it again, trust me.''

''Murder?''. You held back any visible frustrations now. Pushing him would gain nothing. ''Anything else?''

''He let go of a man from the same place as where the soldiers were killed. Committed sexual assault and homicide but Major let go of him.''

''Why is that Captain?'', you said, horrified, already unsettled, finicky, nervous at the hair tips.

''The man was protected by the gang- high in status, high enough for them to intervene and protect a life. Major could not start a war so he cut a deal, 'let go of the village and they'll release him'. All went well.''. Ironic for them to protect a life. Could it hint that there were discrepancies in the leadership?, you ask yourself but don't say anything about it.

''It's not out jurisdiction if the individual is not from here.''

''oh, but she is, was, the head of the resistance group, dual-nationality.''

''That's a lot of things to tie him for.'' you murmur, sighing at the boat-load of information.

''Tie him?'' he asks, curious. Are you considering punishing the Major by the law?, he thinks. You always did say that the law moves slower than it should.

There is no answer from you. You want to deny his question that you know he is currently asking. You could give it a try, again.

''Why were the resources held up?'', you continue.

''Take control of the resources y/n, take control of the village. Probably used it as leverage but not sure what. They don't have a lot to offer but the gang does, information on other gangs. Taking other's out would risk them gaining more power and we couldn't have that.''

''You think Taeyang has something to do with this?''

''He doesn't run the tide on that, his friend does, childhood friend. But you can't assume that she's going to help him, I know her and she wouldn't. She's got a mole in camp.''

''We'll have to come back to that.''. Human nature. It isn't even in your intention to come back to this topic. You want to know.

''I'll find out about it.''. It's a place to start, to wrap the mission up in bow tie and send it off.

''Don't get yourself into danger.'', you say, genuine about it and eager to prove him wrong. He thinks that you could care less about him. The like has always been there.

He nods, resting his head in his palms, elbows digging into his thighs. He takes your advice to heart. At this moment, he finds it harder than ever to separate you in his world from his profession. He wants you but how does he tell you about it?

''If you knew and you yourself did not die- were there groups?''

''Three, back up and because the villages are huge too. More soldiers means that work can be carried out in a time efficient manner. I wasn't in their group, one day- a day after the first four weeks were over they came and told us. They relayed the news, ''They're dead''. It was so professional, they answered the how's. It hurt y/n, it hurt all over. I wasn't in the same group as them but I ate with them, joked with them, worked with them outside of our team, together. We are one team less, y/n, one team less. That was a lot for us to think about, compartmentalise but we didn't have enough time to do it. We ended up covering for them, breaking our backs, taking orders while some bullshit went on in the background.'' Youngkyun ends it frustrated, referring to the rape and the injustice that that man was let go. Tears rim his eyes, he clenches his fists at the thoughts, recounting those painful memories.

You grasp his hand, soothingly running your finger over the clenched skin, waiting for him to relax before you pull yourself closer and take him into your arms. He tries his best not to cry right there. He lets go of his tense posture and snuggles into the warmth you have to offer which you take as a good sign.

You find yourself unhappy for him, pained rather. That he holds all of that, in there, this sensitive guy with un-coped, heavy amounts of emotional trauma at the back of his head. You feel for him. You run your fingers through his hair and kiss the side of his head, letting him go to sit up straight.

You want to say something but nothing is to be said. Words are meaningless right now. You sit in silence for some time, enduring the harsh humidity that makes your skin dry, waiting for him to snap out of it- everything, when he is ready.

'Let's go!'' Sanghyuk would have said, pulling Major Yoo towards the restaurant to ease the awkwardness they felt with him. Lee Sanghyuk was one of the few soldiers killed in the blast of gang members and weapons. Taeyang tries his best not to think about it. Better profile for lying, he thinks.

He walks alone to meet a different correspondent. The staff politely greet him but turn their heads down and ignore him. Perhaps they have heard the nasty rumours about him. He finds you sitting on the far side, right in the corner, wedged in a seat for two and he smiles brightly. He can't tell if he really likes you or not, lines are beginning to blur. Some things are just not part of the plan.

He greets you, wrapping his arms around you in a loving embrace. ''You visited! Is this your first time at the base?'', he asks. You like to think that he's put a lot of effort into this relationship. Sometimes you like to think that he sits on his bed at night, runs over the conversations he's had with you and picks apart little details. You find it humorous. But it's a real possibility.

He loves your lips, especially when they touch his skin. He lingers over yours, pressing softly, feeling you for the first time this afternoon. Your hand curiously travels his uniform when he pecks your cheeks, your neck. You know where this is going.

He swoops in for your lips, taking you by surprise. Again?, he thinks. Delectably, he wonders why. He thinks of nothing; his groin stirs. ''Do you want me to show you around? Or go home?'' he whispers.

Your coffee, not touched at all, full to the hilt, is left there. It's a short walk to your car. He tugs you along, looking back and smiling, very obviously excited. The next question is car or home? He walks faster than normal, something callous is on his mind.

Pretence or not, in this relationship, the both of you want something out of it. His motive is far more clearer than yours. That's what Youngkyun had also asked you, ''What'd you want out of this thing, with him?''. It was hard to explain. You wanted almost nothing and you were not stuck so why were you here?

He takes you home, yours more specifically. It's in the same building as the apartment that Youngkyun had visited but a couple of floors away. If he was to find you, he would look in the wrong place, not ever knowing that you were nearby. In the elevator, upwards, he firmly clutches your waist. You try to squirm out of his gasp. It's the moment of truth. About the man that he let away, it comes to mind and you are repulsed.

You feel the need to get away from him. He's behind, slipping his arms around your waist, feeling your tummy, pressing kisses of air at your neck and you can't take it. You endure it all the way up, occasionally cracking a smile, hoping he's not going to ask about the gloom on your face on the ride up. You'll answer his questions, but not his arguments.

The doors open, without a hitch or some noise, closing away when you step into the extra bright sunshine that decorates the hallway floor and it's walls. Your mood is ruined but his? Strong and going on. He tugs you to your apartment, flashing back a smile which credit is due, momentarily makes you smile. The feeling his smile evokes is temporary, replaced by visual flashes of what he must have done.

You push them away, cautious enough on your feet to alert yourself of what he has done. You have distance because you never saw it with your own eyes. They were not your family members, nor your friends or distant relatives. You have to hand him over to Captain Kim but not whilst torturing yourself in the process.

''Let's go'' he says in a genuine tone of voice. You are surprised and have to remind yourself. Anticipation builds up, creeps into your skin with goose-bumps or tiny tremors, maybe only tiny to you. You chuckle and throw a smile that you hope looks like one, entering your apartment. ''The chapter can close here if you want too'' Youngkyun had asked you, out of concern for your well-being. He had told you what he had to, the same disgustingly gruesome but life-changing details as on the night the two of you had recorded it.

It would be given to them, the team consisting of high-ranking members, higher than the Major, someone that Youngkyun and his team know and trust, enough to find something in their investigative line into Taeyang's immoral doings. Youngkyun knows that he can't hide it anymore. He will be punished for holding back information. However, you will always admire his efforts to save his team and pull through, even when under the harsh gaze of secrecy that threatened to break their backs.

Taeyang doesn't miss the shadow of the figure sitting on the sofa as you kick off your shoes and enter the apartment. He's not shaken, just walking in like you'd walk into a store or something, curious. That is all. Kyun has confidence, the one that had been previously broken down. That estimation of how far in the future Taeyang will be behind bars as opposed to the confidence in Taeyang which he has none of.

Taeyang looks back, not as menacing as the manner in which you thought he would appear. He smiles. Like a knowing kind of smile. It makes your shiver from behind the counter. Kyun is closer to Taeyang than Taeyang is to you. Kyun could reach over the table if he attempted something. It could turn into a fight and he would be off with you- for negotiation or worse, since neither of them had weapons.

Which is why you choose the kitchen. It's open, giving you a view of both of them and contains all the objects you can turn into weapons in one place. It's also close to the front door. You could reach it in a couple of steps. If you ran fast enough. Taeyang is silently thinking as he pulls a chair and seats it opposite Youngkyun with only the barrier of the coffee table in between.

Taeyang smiles. You can see the curve of his cheekbones rise, even from behind him. He's not threatened, that's for sure. There is no hint of exasperation present. He moves to say something but doesn't, anything could give him away but none would be enough to implicate him. Some sort of unrivalled anger is provoked within you at that thought.

It's painful to watch this. They stay silent, waiting for the other to speak or maybe they have some unspoken agreement to stay like this. Placing all the weight of your palms on the marble countertop, you shift to the other foot, easing the pain you feel from standing. Youngkyun momentarily leaves his focus from Taeyang to look at you. He sees frustrated eyes but misses the look in Taeyang's.

There's a splodge of anxiety that belittles Taeyang. It nags at him for letting a loose end like Youngkyun onto the base, save for the fact that he has no control over that. Then it is for letting Youngkyun run his mouth. When you are in a position so high, people just wait for a chance to grab you down. He feels furious towards Youngkyun but also understanding. There is conflict. But eventually, the growing resentment wins.

When Youngkyun loses focus, out of concern when he hears you sigh, Taeyang stops thinking. He takes it as a moment of opportunity. It can't save him, but it can make him feel better. Seeping violence in and dismantling his opponent when at their weakest is what he was trained to do. That kind of mindset isn't trained but forced, coerced upon in circumstances of extreme danger and high mortality rate.

It's so fast. So sudden, in fact, too sudden. In your eyes, Taeyang gets up, only half way. His knees are still bent when he leans across the table, not by much. And swings a crack at Youngkyun's face. More specifically his jaw. The area between his ear and chin, not landing completely on the cheek. You don't see Youngkyun wring back.

First is a sound, a groan like the time he had come to you. He was bleeding from a fight, the closest place to come, he had said at the time but now, it is less worse. Your breath hitches. Perhaps you've been holding your breath for so long. You aren't sure. Taeyang could go feral, you aren't sure of that either.

You begin to take a step back. Only a second or two or three later, Youngkyun reels from the shock of being hit. He sits upright, fuming internally, displaying stern patience. His face is almost expressionless, save for the occasional unclenching of the jaw that was hit. He doesn't instantly react, waiting. You don't know what to think.

It’s like a power move, for Taeyang to put Youngkyun in his place before Taeyang would be sent to a worse form of hell, one below dignity for him. Like a punishment, you deserve more than this but this is all I can give you, Taeyang said in other words. Youngkyun reacts instantly when Taeyang gets up with his legs straight and feet tipped in the direction of the door.

He wouldn't run but he could come for you. You had feared it and now, it is about to come true. Youngkyun looks at you as he stands up, telling Taeyang, ''Don't do it.''. Taeyang instead chuckles, disarming Youngkyun, ''I'll walk''. Just then, as Taeyang hits the last syllable, soldiers arrive. Straight through the door. You hadn't heard the lock turning or boots thudding in the hallway.

First sight of them has Taeyang gritting his teeth. He complies, like a mouse in a game of chase. It burns him. He complies, seething at Youngkyun who chuckles. After he leaves, Youngkyun takes a seat, dropping his head into arms. He sighs, partly in relief, partly in the party that had just begun and maybe because, the bigger part of his deal was to keep Taeyang away from you.

You are stuck there. Where you chose to stand and where you are standing now. You try to move, to go to Youngkyun but it feels like Taeyang could burst through the door at any moment. In the face-to-face sense, you didn't know what Taeyang could do. Youngkyun senses it when you don't move. He expects the shuffling of footsteps but not absolute silence.

He gets up, coming to you, reaching for your hand and clasping them together. You hum, looking at him, shifting weight from one foot to the other. You try a smile, failing and then laughing at it which has him smiling too. ''You're okay, he's not coming back. That- what you saw, he can't try anything.'', he softly drops off to your listening ears, reaching to grasp your cheek and like turn-taking, you pull yourself closer to him too. He reaches for you in that moment, connecting your lips to his, softly moulding to yours.

He feels relief in letting you pour out the fear you felt, discarding it away in favour of being in arms. Letting him pick you up and take you to the sofa. Letting you gasp for breath when he lets go, placing you on the sofa with your legs on his thighs. ''I want to help you.'' he says, almost stumbling over his words to try and explain to you that he wants to help, only if you want.

He pauses after his whispers, his lips so close to yours that if you were to give a response, no matter how subtle, he'd know. You mull at his prospect, mind blank, looking like you are thinking. ''Stop asking.'' you say, so soft that it came across as a request, although feeling like a command, one stop sentence. He nods, instantly, absorbing your words, having his breath taken away by how you bring him down on your lips, knotting your fingers through his hair.

''We'll get you out of this gang, this place.'', he murmurs, sitting you down on his lap.

Taeyang could come back, there was a high chance that that event could occur. He was what? The best or second-best rumoured equal to the one in first place? With these people who you called soldiers beguiling you to stay, drawing you till you suffocated, now was the wrong time for Youngkyun's plans of staying with you.

''How? There's no way out, Kyun. They won't be so happy, to drag me back this time.'' you say, sucking in a sharp breath, fiddling with his clothes. He doesn't have a plan, at least not right now. All he wants to do is to get you away from here. Set up life somewhere else, away. The two of you don't have a plan, not yet.

Fervent whimpers leave your lips and desperate fingers clutch tightly at the bedsheets, pleasure overwhelming your sex with the way his cock pulls out and fills you again. He's sweating, core clenching from snapping his hips against yours, absorbing every detail of your body beneath him as you ask him to let you release. The sound of skin slapping and the smell of sex coats the room. Fragrance leaks onto your inner thighs at the end but it doesn't stop him, not from kissing your lips and leaving a trail of heat all the way to your inner thighs, and repeating it, again.

#sf9 #yoo taeyang #hwiyoung #kim youngkyun #sf9 fluff #sf9 writings #sf9 scenarios #sf9 imagines #sf9 smut #sf9 angst #sf9 requests #sf9 fantasy #sf9 fanfic #sf9 x reader

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hello-nichya-here · 3 years

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Why did Iroh and Ozai grew to be so different? Like I believe that Iroh cared for Azulon even after (if?) he realized that he was an awful person. After loosing Lu Ten, Iroh drastically change. But Ozai? Did he hate Azulon? Was it because he wasn't his favorite child and was always overlooked? I don't know what it would have to be to make Ozai review his values of life like it had been Lu Ten for Iroh but at this point, it's really hard to consider Ozai human considering the comics and the show

*sighs* Really? You guys are gonna make me defend Ozai? AGAIN? Once wasn't enough? Why do you hate me?

It is very likely (not to say obvious) that Ozai had good reason to hate his dad. Like I said on my other post, Ozai might not have cared about Zuko and thus had no moral/emotional conflict over being ordered to kill him, but it still shows how much of a cruel bastard Azulon is that he would:

1 - Have a child killed for something they had absolutely nothing to do with

2 - Want his own son to experience the pain of losing his son (it doesn't matter that Ozai tried to stab Iroh in the back during such an awful in his life, that is still a horrible thing to do and NOBODY, not even Ozai, deserves to go through that)

3 - Decide to have Zuko, aka Iroh's nephew whom he loved dearly, killed shortly after Iroh lost his son and all because he was pissed at Ozai.

Make no mistake, that wasn't Azulon using an unfair, brutal, horrifying, misguided method to somehow "compensate" Iroh. He wasn't punishing Ozai for betraying his brother - he was punishing Ozai for questioning his authority/judgement. It is EXACTLY the same as Ozai burning Zuko's face and banishing him for speaking out when he was not supposed to and refusing to fight him. And considering how comfortable Azulon had been with that punishment, how much power he held as Fire Lord, and how Ozai was ready to go along with it even though he himself refered to it as "being ordered to the unthinkable", it's safe to say that this time of abusive behavior has been part of their relationship for a while.

And we must not forget that the militaristic indoctrination wasn't the only way Azulon negatively influced Iroh - he quite clearly favored Zuko over Azula, even after he redeemed himself, and while his actions show accidental neglect instead of abuse, it doesn't change the fact that they happened and made Azula more vulnerable to Ozai's manipulations. I love Iroh, and I believe that, if Lu Ten had had a sibling who took after his uncle and grandfather, Iroh would still love that kid - but I'm also aware that their relationship would likely end up being more like the one Ursa and Azula had, than the one he had with both Lu Ten and Zuko.

The story of the Fire Nation royal family is essentially one about the cycle of abuse and neglect, and Ozai is as much of a result of it as his own children were.

Also, I completely reject the whole comics thing with Ozai essentially kidnaping Ursa. The show itself said their family was once happy, and Ursa's line of "Never forget who you are" fits perfectly since she saw Ozai go from a minimally decent husband and father to someone who is willing to kill his own son. The only thing he did in the comics that made sense was threatening to kill both Zuko and Azula if Ursa were to come back, because this whole disaster proved that he was willing to kill his family to gain/keep power. Everything else just felt like the writers being uncomfortable with the fact that Ozai IS human, and not some demon who was born evil, AND that Ursa, one of the "good guys" actually had a good relationship with him in the past. Can't allow any room for complexity in this shitty retcon of an amazing show.

#asks #actual human being ozai #ozai meta #fire nation meta #royal family

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rubyvroom · 3 years

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Playing ME: Legendary is so Frustrating

because, eventually, you have to play Mass Effect 3.

And look, ME:1 is greatly improved in the Legendary set. They not only boosted the visuals, they improved all the interfaces and brought them in line with the series in a way that improves playability. The story was already great, the gameplay was brought up to match.

ME:2 was already damn near perfect. I can’t think of any noticable improvement other than including all the DLC I didn’t pay for the first time, and I was happy with that. It didn’t need improving. I wouldn’t change a thing.

But ME:3. I’m only in the very very beginning of the game and already I’m frustrated, and it’s exactly because I just finished playing two really excellent games.

You are much more on rails for this game than ever before. Yes, it meets the exact same structure as the previous games -- opening disaster, first squad members humans, first mission on a human colony, then it’s time to gather your alien supporters -- but there’s a lot less room for you to decide how Shepard reacts to things. The game has already decided who Shepard is and what Shepard wants, and there’s no room for you to disagree.

In some ways that’s cool because it remembers exactly what you had Shepard do in 1+2. The continuity between the games is pretty strong, and that’s impressive.

But in most ways it’s bad. Because it means your character-building is already done at the very start of the game. You can’t have your character grow or change their mind about things based on their experiences so far - what you did in the previous games is still what you’re going to do now. And your range of responses for all Shepards is greatly limited compared to before. So for example Shepard is thrilled to be back with the Alliance after it kicked her out for what she did to stop the Reapers and after working with Cerberus for an extended period of time. But that wasn’t a decision I made - that was my only decision. I don’t get the option of telling the alliance to fuck off after how they treated me and maybe rejoining them only reluctantly because Anderson asked me to. I don’t get any character options at all.

Then, I’m immediately reminded how garbage your romance choices are in Mass Effect if you’re a female Shepard. There is no way to romance the same person in all three games. If you want the romance achievement you will have to choose 2-3 different partners. And this has a lot of unpleasant consequences for female Shepartd that Male Shepards don’t have to face: being accused of cheating and betrayal (does not happen to M!Shep), your LI from 2 dying in 3 no matter what you do (can’t happen to Male Shep), and just having to role play losing your LI in some way or other every game. (Also, and I’m going to complain forever about this, but so many love interests are locked in for Straight Male Shepard in a way that doesn’t make sense. You going to tell me aliens care whether I’m male or female? That Miranda cares? That freaking JACK cares? Come on. This is classic bro-pandering from Bioware same as they do for the Dragon Age series, and it’s really irritating.)

Also, I haven’t gotten into the meat of the story yet, but I’m already reminded of some of the stupid, stupid story choices that were made: The Illusive Man is indoctrinated. We’re fighting Cerberus again after years of working with them and no apparent ambivalence about this. EDI has a sexy robot body now (siiiiiiiiiigh). Kai Leng. The fucking Star Kid. I told myself I could enjoy ME:3 right up to the deeply stupid ending and then just stop the game and make up my own ending, but the fucking Star Kid is all over the damn place in this game, as is the 3-part choice of Destroy, Control, and I forget Blend? Something? It was so stupid, you guys. So stupid. It’s hard to ignore.

But here’s the worst thing of all. The combat in this game is SO FUN. When I said ME:2 was near perfect, this is the one thing that is better in ME:3. You run better and more naturally, you can dodge roll, and do more satisfying melee moves. They finally got the balance right between powers, guns, and ammunition, and made more dynamic fights where you aren’t just hiding in cover until everything is dead. Even the interfaces are better than in previous games, getting rid of the eyebleedy orange data pads from 2 for instance. The weapons mod system from 1 is back, and improved. Although I liked the leveling in 1 the best, 3 is a close second, with more choices to build your characters. ME:3 is fun to play! It’s the most fun fighting has been in the whole series!

Plus, you get all the payoffs from the previous two games: you get to cure the Genophage, for instance. Which is a choice, but of course you’re going to cure the Genophage - who doesn’t cure the Genophage? You get to resolve the Quarian/Geth conflict which has been a huge part of the series, plus make peace between Tali and Legion. Plus some flat-out cool stuff. A Thresher Maw fights a Reaper! Hang out with the huge cast of characters on shore leave in the best DLC of the whole series!

So it’s basically impossible to just skip 3. You have to have the whole frustrating experience again, with all of the pretty high highs and the really, really low lows. As an end to the whole Legendary Edition experience, it’s just a reminder of how Bioware lost it’s way.

#mass effect #me: legendary edition #bioware

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bellamioneotp · 4 years

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Bellamione Fic Master List

Making a list of Bellamione fics to guide the poor innocent souls into temptation organize stories based on AU type.

DARK AU’s

Bellatrix isn’t a bright ball of sunshine, but rather than have a story where she becomes a better person, Hermione becomes like her, or even joins her side. This AU type isn’t limited to only that, but also to general dark themes in the story such as violence, war and ‘wtf this is so wrong but yet I can’t stop reading’.

Reign Down Like wow. A whole world built around what if Voldemort survived and used Hermione in his evil schemes and had Bellatrix engaged to her. Very detailed and the author doesn’t hold back on aspects of the new world that can be somewhat unsettling. 25/10 this will leave you wondering just how sexy dark magic can truly feel.

The Dark Corners of the Earth This one is dark in an entirely different sense. Bellatrix and Snape are pitted in an ancient war against one another and Hermione is caught in the middle. The romance moves a bit too fast paced for me but the lore and detail in this will have you really thinking this story over the next few days, trying to figure out just wtf is going on. 45/10 will have you hoping your nightlight can keep Cthulhu away.

Haunted This story won’t leave you haunted, but it is pretty good even with it’s short chapters and all. It tells the story of Hermione sort of losing her marbles but I won’t get into too much detail. Just read it for yourself; it’s a quick easy read. 10/10 is poetic as fuck.

I Dream of Sin Takes place in a sort of canon world in which Hermione is an American teen being bullied. You can imagine how well that goes for the bullies especially when she learns she has magic and is taught by Bellatrix herself on how to use it. It gets progressively darker each chapter. 16/10 don’t want to mess with magical nerds ever.

For whom the Bell Tolls is an interesting look into how Hermione’s actually a death eater and Bellatrix is not. While Hermione is not bat shit insane, she is a murderer and Bellatrix is the sane one. Nice to see things switched up. This story is not necessarily as dark as the others but it gets brownie points for making the usually good Hermione evil right off the bat. 9/10 come to the dark side, we have cookies.

Staring at Nothing is just...wow. A very powerful one shot about Hermione’s descent into darkness as told by Harry’s perspective. 10/10 for who needs friends anyways, when you’ve got black leather.

Visions of You in which Hermione is a depressed youth after the war and has to deal with hallucinations of Bellatrix. Hermione isn’t dark here so much as she is gray type, and the story has a permeating tinge of sadness to it, given the circumstances. 8/10 for maybe Bellatrix isn’t a hallucination?

Deep Below what’s more awful than being accused of Harry’s death? Being falsely accused of it, and having to deal with trying to prove your innocent. This is a situation Hermione ends up in. But will she get out of it? 8/10 for this gets deep.

How to Love Bellatrix captures Hermione and sort of indoctrinates her into the world of darkness. Hermione is mad at first, but then she realizes how sexy Bellatrix is and is like, ‘alright fam, sign me up’ and boom Bellamione. 8/10 you love this story but not it’s update schedule.

TIME TRAVELER AU’s

Basically, what it says on the tin. Someway or another, Hermione goes back into time to stop Bellatrix from ever becoming evil. Drama and romance ensue.

Future Shocks A good time turner fic with a more modern take on war. It’s pretty long and it is the slowburn of all slowburns. But it’s a very interesting story and the ending will have you definitely shook. 8/10 will shock you awake from that boring lecture you’re reading fanfic in.

Time Heals all Wounds Hermione gets sent back in time to ‘redeem’ Bellatrix but not in the gift card way, more like saving the future type way. They end up, you guessed it, falling in love and changing the future somewhat. 6/10 is a young teen romance that will have you reliving your adventures as a young sapphic witch.

Mirror, Mirror Not exactly a time turner fic, more like a parallel world, I suppose. Hard to explain but has good amounts of mystery and trying to understand what is happening. Focuses more on Bellatrix’s POV which is a nice change of pace. 8/10 will have you looking in the mirror and summoning Bellatrix like she was Bloody Mary.

Let the Light Come and Take me A time turner fic that ends up with Bellatrix time traveling but to the future and the chaos her arrival there causes for those who are acquainted with her devious ways. Looks at the growth of our two ladies relationship into something more. 5/10 if it’s not slowburn romance is it really Bellamione?

The One Within the Other this story is about, you guessed it, time travel! Hermione goes back on purpose to stop Bellatrix from achieving her evil potential and in the process love blossoms. 7/10 for never enough time to read Bellamione in peace!

Caught in the Time series this is a series of three full length stories about Bellamione stuck in different times and universes. So much happens in them it’s kind of hard to summarize so the best thing to do is read them. 8, 8.5, 7/10 I’ll let you figure out which score goes for which series.

Just say When started off as a time turner story but then it ended up becoming something more of an espionage tale. It’s a good read and interesting to see how Bellatrix aims to save Hermione from a dementor’s kiss (spoilers!) in order to save their future together. A good mix of romance and action. 8/10 The name’s Black. Bellatrix, Black.

The Broken Wand It all starts with a wand and then before you know it, boom, time travel happens. Featuring Loki and adventure all around, this fic has interesting plot points to keep you engaged despite the slower update times. 7/10, will break your wand too.

Hourglass basically, a young Bellatrix is brought into the future and consequences abound from that mishap. The plot is a bit wonky and there are some logic mistakes, but if you can get over it, it’s a decent time travel story. 5/10 for it must be canon that Bellatrix has a lovely hourglass figure.

Times they are a Changing where Bellatrix travels back in time to save her wife, Hermione. Nice to see a story where Hermione isn’t the one doing all the saving. Unfortunately there’s only six chapters to this story and it’s unlikely it’ll ever get finished but it’s a nice fresh concept. 6/10 for that’s how many chapters there are.

Destined in this one, Hermione experiences some wonky times after the battle at the department of mysteries. Hermione has to find a way back home, but perhaps she might find love along the way? 10/10 for this is destined to be an interesting read.

HEALER AU’s

Let’s be real, Bellatrix has got a lot of problems and these authors try to solve them, with sex. And you know, medical help. But sex definitely helps a lot.

Portrait of a Tragic Woman Not a typical healer type au, because Hermione is a therapist whose helping Bellatrix with her mental disorders. Focuses a lot on the relationship between the two and really makes you try to figure out what exactly is up with Bellatrix and what is her past, etc. The ending chapters will leave you shooketh and wondering what even is real anymore. 50/10 because it feels like an acid trip, man.

The Healer is only one chapter but still worth a read. Hopefully the author will have some time to get back to it because it has a huge potential. 6/10 because I need some healing.

1k is a one shot, featuring Hermione as a therapist and Bellatrix as her patient. Can’t say too much without spoiling it, but despite it’s short length, the author paints a vivid look into Bellatrix’s mind if she was just an insane muggle. 1k/10 because that’s one patient I would never like to meet.

Darkness Underneath I mean, Hermione runs a team of healers, so technically it’s kinda a healer au fic, right? This story looks more in depth at the Death Eaters and dark magic surrounding them. 9/10 is that a dark mark or are you just happy to see me?

TEACHER AU

We all know this is the holy grail au of this fandom and yet there’s only a couple of long stories for this. Someone, write some more!

Fractures A long fic, that has a sequel. Basically, Bellatrix is Hermione’s teacher during a very trying time for Hermione when a competition goes very wrong and dark truths are revealed. Lot’s of action, Bellamione interactions, and overall interesting plot. 8/10 will leave your heart in fractures when you find out the sequel is unfinished.

In the Dead of Night Hermione asks Bellatrix if she can teach her some.....magic and things end up becoming very magical indeed. Bellatrix is the teacher in this story (because who wouldn’t want her as a teacher). It’s a WIP with only a couple of chapters out. 7/10 time to learn some real lessons, Granger ;)

Just a Brand features not only Bellatrix as a professor, but a magical soul mate bond between Bellatrix and Hermione that leads to much deliciousness. There’s a lot of chapters to this story but they’re pretty short. An updated and revised version can be found on a03 for those who like longer chapters. 7/10 Bellamione is branded on my soul.

It Just Felt Right is another fic with Bellatrix as the professor. Hermione starts off hating her and then it evolves into liking Bellatrix. The fic leaves off before any real progress can be made so if anyone is up for reading an unfinished fic from 2012 then go for it. 6/10 for this story feels right but not write because it’s abandoned :(

CRIME AU

Because there is never enough crime involved even with Bellatrix, these authors amp up the trouble and make it double. And gay. So very gay.

Two Sides of the Same Coin where Bellatrix is basically an auror. It’s only five chapters and it hasn’t been updated in a long time but it’s an interesting concept worth checking out. 9/10 wish there were more sides to the coin.

Murder Most Horrid A crime story, where Bellatrix is a magical cop and Hermione is a murder suspect. Bellatrix interrogates Hermione by banging her and then the two of them proceed to basically get married the day after. A bit ooc for Bellatrix but very in character if you consider this world not from the canon. -89/10 for how badly your vision will deteriorate if you try to read this all in one night.

The Mysterious Department Technically Bellatrix and Hermione are both magical detectives and they go and solve crimes and shit while also possibly trying to prevent the world from ending. You know, just casual stuff. 10/10 for the perfect crime, would commit again.

Darkness is Falling A story that has Hermione as an auror who replaces Bellatrix’s old partner. They butt heads, they solve cases, and naturally, begin to fall in love. 7/10 for this case is closed.

Some Things Aren’t Seen Hermione investigates Bellatrix’s crimes and past and ends up over her head. There are two follow ups to this finished work, all in the same vein. It’s all a good bit of fun watching Hermione try to take on the criminal Lestrange. 7/10, no, this has no relation to the musical Wicked.

SOUL MATE BOND

In one way or another Bellatrix and Hermione have a special bond in between them that destines them to be together. Angst, love, friendship, all abound in this au type. Features a combination of other factors thrown in, but the stories put in here are largely advertised in the blurb as more focused on the bond.

Lotus Flower Hermione finds out after Bellatrix’s death that they are bound together and that because Bellatrix is dead, Hermione is dying as a result too. This begs the question, will Hermione go back in time and save Bellatrix, or will she willingly submit to the bond’s curse? 8/10 I think we all know what Hermione chooses.

Our Mercurial Selves ever wonder what it would be like to have a murderer share your mind? In this one, Hermione and Bellatrix can communicate telepathically with each other, creating a bond that draws them together. Features evil schemes by Voldemort, a flying horse, and Narcissa beating the ever loving shit out of Bellatrix for even daring to breathe in Hermione’s direction. 9/10 will leave you with warm fuzzies for the Malfoy family before the ending crushes you.

The House Ring Bellatrix sends Hermione a magical ring that engages them and basically makes them wives. Prophecies abound about how Bellamione is meant to be the one and only true pairing. 7/10 for that ring better come with diamonds.

Demons AU

As if Voldemort isn’t scary enough, there are demons and scary things in this au type that will leave you and Voldemort both calling for mommy.

Unsteady Precipice technically also a time traveling fic, except Hermione ends up in an alternative universe. where she tries to change things from happening in the canon world like they did. But will it work? Who knows! Only a few chapters are out so it’s hard to tell where this story will go, but one things for sure, it’ll be good. 9/10 if you don’t pray after reading this the demons will get you.

A Demon in the Mist is also about, gasp, demons! Dangerous things are afoot in this story and Hermione is caught in the middle of it all. It takes part in the same universe as the caught in time series by the same author, but with slight alterations. Unsure if the story will be finished as the author has contemplated leaving fanfic writing. 7/10 can you find the demon in the mist?

MAGICAL CREATURES AU

Technically a category, right? Let’s pretend it is, because there are some stories out there that pit our two ladies as other than human and it’s fun to read about it.

As we Chase the Sun Very Black family centric and features Bellatrix as a big fluffy wolf. What’s not to love? Cuddles, and hair balls, and good times all around. 9/10 would tame that wolf.

Sing to me Your Insanity in which Hermione and Bellatrix are both sirens and will basically die if they don’t do the ol’ frickity frack. This is a long story and the slowburn feels like hellburn but it’s worth the read. 56/10 but you will need earplugs so those sirens don’t seduce you too.

Metamorphosis in which Bellatrix is also a wolf and doesn’t like being stuck with Hermione but gets used to it and basically they’re house wives of London and don’t know it. 8/10 for your mind with undergo metamorphosis from slightly obsessed with Bellamione to even more obsessed.

This Poisoned Blood of Ours vampires, vampires everywhere! Two parts to this series and features a confused Bellatrix and a changing Hermione. 7/10 do you think vampires like steak rare?

Cursed Doll Pretty self explanatory title. Someone ends up as a doll and shenanigans ensue. Won’t say more because it’s only two chapters, but it’s well written and worth a read. 10/10 Chucky? Is that your sister?

Liquid Measure these chapters are thicc boy. Only two chapters but such a good set up and everything. I hope the author is able to update at some point. 10/10 makes me thirsty for more!

My Demons in the Dark Hermione is a ghost. That’s it, that’s the plot. Boo/10 for this not so spooky spirit.

#Harry Potter #Harry Potter Books #Bellamione #Hermione Granger #Bellatrix Lestrange #emma Watson #Helena Bonham Carter #Bellamione fic recs #Fic recs #all gay stories #vampires #wolves #witches #time turner fics

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sepublic · 4 years

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Eda learning to be Luz’s teacher

You know what? I have to wonder if the reason why Eda was initially so hesitant about teaching Luz magic, and constantly procrastinated on this fact… Was because she already knew that humans couldn’t do magic, and didn’t want to break the girl’s heart by being upfront about this fact? When Episode 2 starts, basically right after Eda sort of agrees to teach Luz without taking it too seriously, she’s in no rush. Eda even laughs off Luz’s dreams of being a chosen one, because she didn’t realize it meant that much to the kid! But then Eda sees how her cold rejection and mockery of Luz’s dreams led her to fall for Adegast’s trickery…

And after reassuring Luz with ideas of determining one’s fate, Eda realized that learning magic really DID mean a lot to Luz; And after the Adegast incident which she feels responsible for, Eda doesn’t want to disappoint Luz again, especially after initially being so harshly dismissive of Luz’s dreams. Eda was a kid who was very disappointed that she couldn’t learn all nine forms of magic, and she’s someone who’s determined not to put others through the same experiences that she had to suffer, first-hand and without guidance. I can see Eda wanting to avoid being the ‘Bump’ in this situation with Luz (especially since she kind of was), not wanting to trample on Luz’s dreams by being upfront that she can’t learn magic…

And considering how fond of Luz she is… I have to wonder if Eda deliberately procrastinated on the truth, because she also wanted to keep her around? This could parallel how Luz lied about knowing two spells to Amity in Adventures in the Elements… Eda could’ve also lied under the impression that Luz would no longer want to hang around with her anymore, because Eda might think that Luz is interested in Eda only for her ability to teach magic. If Eda can’t teach Luz magic, then what reason does Luz have to stick around, especially given Eda’s liability as a criminal… And later on as revealed in The Intruder, someone who can transform into a dangerous beast.

Eda’s used to being rejected by others because of her curse, because of her views on magic, etc. She’s used to rejection, so it’s what she naturally assumes that Luz is inclined towards… That she’s only hanging around Eda because she has no other choice. It’d recontextualize Eda’s grief upon seeing Luz seemingly enroll at Hexside in Episode 3, only to have some relief and even triumph when Luz is banned. Obviously Eda doesn’t want Luz to be indoctrinated, but I wonder if there’s some selfishness about wanting to keep Luz close, or at least a fear that Luz would show disinterest in Eda in favor of a more ‘traditional’ institution.

Which, again ties into how Luz was afraid that Amity wouldn’t be impressed by her lack of spells, and her assumption that Amity is only interested in Luz because of her unique skills as a witch… Because like Eda, Luz is undervaluing her own personal worth, and how THAT’s what draws people to her, not necessarily her skill in Magic! Luz and Eda could both have an issue with assuming their someone’s last choice, and not their deliberate first one… After all, it’s not exactly wrong of Eda to assume that whatever’s back home for Luz isn’t all too good, given how she chooses a random stranger who’s a criminal over it. To Eda, she could’ve assumed that Luz was driven more by a desire to avoid her home, than a desire to hang around Eda… And Eda doesn’t want to make Luz leave the Owl House, if Luz is apprehensive towards her home that much- Eda wants the best for the kid!

And while avoiding the Reality Camp was definitely PART of the reason, there was also Luz being genuinely enamored by Eda’s care for King, and her sentiments on weirdoes sticking together! Luz really wanted in on that dynamic! It’s another reason why Eda is so dazzled by Luz after she sticks around… Because even after knowing that there are different schools to learn magic traditionally, even after knowing that Eda’s criminal status could endanger her… Even after knowing that Eda couldn’t even teach her magic, and that Eda was a potential threat because of her curse- Luz still sticks around, because she likes Eda that much.

In Agony of a Witch, Eda makes a point of how she wants to pay back Luz for all of her kindness by giving her the Witch’s Wool Cloak. I think that after The Intruder, Eda legitimately invested time, effort, and research into Glyphs… Because not only did Luz show her that they existed and they were possible, thus kindling a hope in Eda’s heart to actually teach Luz magic; But I think Eda felt indebted towards the girl. That she really wanted to prove herself to Luz, and be the role model that Luz thinks she is… Like the Good Witch Azura, ironically- Despite Eda’s apprehension towards the saccharine sweetness of those books, she’ll gladly be Azura for Luz, if it makes the girl happy.

And, this realization of her bond with Luz, could’ve played a part in Eda getting over her apprehension towards Hexside, swallowing her pride to enroll Luz in. Because by the end of the day, Eda recognizes that she just wants the best for Luz, that she doesn’t want to selfishly keep the girl to herself, and inhibit Luz in the process (which could be antithetical to how Lilith felt about Eda but I digress). It’s that “If you love me let me go” meme, except it’s Eda feeling like Luz is better off without her, to an extent… And while she IS right about her own shortcomings as a teacher, or at least that Luz deserves to learn from more than one source- I think there’s still that lingering insecurity that Eda has to live up to what Luz wants her to be, that cool, powerful witch.

That makes it sweet when Luz makes it clear to Eda, mutually, during the Season Finale –when the two reunite at the Conformatorium- that she really loves Eda for who she is, and would give up everything for her… And Eda sees that Luz’s love for her has become unconditional. And similarly, Eda reassures Luz that she loves the girl, that Luz doesn’t have to feel like she owes her anything… Just being with one another, or at least seeing the other be happy, is enough. When Eda tells Luz to save herself, it’s not a rejection of their companionship as Luz fears; It’s Eda prioritizing Luz. Regardless, both Luz and Eda learn that while they want the best for the other, they shouldn’t disregard how much they meant to their loved one either- That maybe their loved one isn’t better off without them, because they DO care…! Eda may prioritize Luz, but she should also value her relationship with the girl as well, because Luz appreciates it too. Even if Luz’s safety comes above her companionship with Eda, who’s to say Eda has to choose between Luz’s safety, and being with the girl- Why can’t she have both, as Luz would defiantly ask?

There’s nothing to worry about, you’re not parasitically dragging down your loved one with your connection to them, you don’t have to worry about being good enough for them, or being on their level… What you’ve got going on, is good enough just as it is! You’re not holding them back from a better choice, you ARE that loved one’s choice, first and foremost, and you should remember that they had agency when they decided to stick with you! Don’t undersell yourself, and trust in your loved one’s judgment if they decided to hang around with you after all- They have good taste too, believe it or not. Luz is special to Eda, because she validates Eda by seeing her as someone to look up to and emulate, and that encourages Eda to be a true role model in her own right, and live up to those expectations. It gives Eda a purpose in life, when up until then there was that lingering regret that her existence had been wasted. Of course with Luz, she encourages Eda to be the best she can be, but doesn’t necessarily hold it against her if she isn’t…

So when Luz discovers glyphs and does the impossible, Eda is inspired to do the same- If this kid can do it, so can she! Eda CAN learn to teach magic to this human, after all… So she does her research off-screen. It’s worth noting that Covention happens immediately after The Intruder, as a follow-up to Eda’s change of heart as she decides to be truly serious about teaching Luz magic… And how Luz and Amity are set up to duel one another as representatives of their teachers’ own skills. Eda’s pride comes into play when Lilith assumes that Luz is a terrible Witch, and it also comes into play when Luz mentions how Eda’s apprentice not knowing two spells is a bad look for Eda herself…

But at the end of Covention, Luz asks Eda if she’ll ever be a great witch. And we see here that while Eda may have her pride play a little into making Luz learn magic… In the end, she doesn’t expect Luz to be a great witch, just for Eda’s pride. She’s not going to be disappointed in Luz, nor herself. She tells Luz that she’s not beholden to anyone else’s definition of a witch, and that Eda doesn’t truly expect Luz to win on her behalf, for the sake of making Eda look good. Luz can fail all she wants, do her progress at her own pace- It’s why Eda reassures Luz about being a quitter in The First Day, or how she tells Luz that it’s okay that she wasn’t able to take on Grom singlehandedly like she thought she could! It IS also worth noting that Luz wouldn’t be allowed to do magic at all if she lost the Covention duel, so Eda could’ve had that altruistic reasoning behind making Luz cheat- She doesn’t want Luz to lose her chance at magic, after having just discovered it!

Regardless, it contrasts with Lilith, who DOES have that expectation for Amity to do well, to live up to Lilith’s image and pride… And how Lilith cares so much more for maintaining her own reputation as a teacher, that she makes Amity cheat without her knowledge nor consent, instead of being genuinely interested in gauging Amity’s current skill and progress, and working with that. Lilith was more interested in how she looked to Eda and others as a teacher, than Amity’s actual ability at magic. The possibility of Amity losing is inexcusable for Lilith, that she really goes out of her way to attach the Power Glyph even though her victory should be guaranteed, amidst Lilith rightfully suspecting Eda would cheat of course.

And that, of course, tells Amity that she is not allowed to lose, that failure is no option… And it just contributes to the pressure and expectations on her, and how she’s not allowed to make mistakes and learn from them, and when she DOES make mistakes, Amity thinks it’s the end of the world and that there’s nothing to salvage from the situation, whatsoever. It conditions Amity to see everything she does as a reflection and extension of others and not her own skills and belief in herself, and that she can’t just enjoy things for the sake of only her happiness. And Amity really undervalues how it’s a lot of her own skill that got her where she is, and not JUST the guidance of a great teacher.

Lilith was showing a disrespectful lack of confidence in Amity, that she doesn’t really trust the girl, not enough to do something that should be so easy and simple, and it hurts because to Amity it means she’s never good enough, and that maybe there’s something wrong with her that sparks this kind of distrust in her ability; To the point where Lilith can’t even be upfront about her lack of faith in Amity and the application of the Power Glyph, because she doesn’t think the girl can take criticism. That will just make Amity question if people ever really mean it when they praise her; And in turn, lead her to assume that people are secretly lying whenever they tell her that she did good, or at least didn’t do wrong.

But, I digress. Eda reiterates to Luz at the end of Covention that she doesn’t really care if Luz would’ve won or not (unless it meant Luz losing her chance at magic), which connects to how Luz and Amity’s duel had no definitive winner and was a tie, and a total mess of a match. In contrast to Lilith, who neither reassures Amity, nor does anything to actually check up on the girl afterwards, instead focusing on Eda… Which, Eda IS her sister and she misses her a lot, and Lilith doesn’t get to see Eda often so she’ll milk every last moment with her, but still.

Either way, Eda considers how she just wants Luz to learn magic for Luz’s own sake, not for Eda’s expectations of her- And while there is the joke of Luz playing into Eda’s pride by getting her to take her to the knee, it’s worth noting that Eda clearly had done her research well before this was brought up, and also that Luz actually needs to know two spells so she can avoid the Baby Class, and learn Magic as she’d like to. And Eda, Eda is a very tsundere character when it comes to affection- So I can see her passing off bringing Luz to the knee as just wanting to look good as a teacher, when in reality it’s because Luz really cares about this and Eda wants to provide.

I could also get into potential insecurity on Eda’s behalf on failing Luz as a teacher, so she tries to avoid teaching lessons to begin with… You get the idea. Like I said, Luz brings up Eda’s pride because she’s using every reason to learn a second spell because of how desperate she is, as well as the fact that she still has insecurities over paying back Eda for her kindness, through being a great student and thus a reflection of Eda’s skill as a teacher, until Eda reassures Luz once and for all that her love is unconditional in the Season Finale.

Which, connects us to the idea of Eda not being able to be the conventional, magical teacher that Luz wanted… But she’s still an incredibly potent mentor in her own way, in the important life-lessons she instills Luz with. Amidst Luz proving her own worth as a self-taught learner, making her progress with magic all the more difficult and painstaking to further the disability metaphor, and the idea of Luz and Eda mutually teaching and learning from one another, because they respect one another. It’s all tied up in the final moments of the Season Finale, when Eda can no longer be the teacher she wanted to be for Luz, and is now just a student alongside her- Frequently learning FROM Luz, in fact!

And Luz… not only does Luz love Eda regardless of magic, but the two of them mutually look forward to the lessons they could have, together. Eda doesn’t have to be the magical teacher that Luz wanted- That frees her up to express vulnerability by being a Magic Student like Luz, acknowledging her shortcomings so Eda can get Luz the best teachers she can… And Luz recognizing Eda’s value as a teacher in a different sense. Luz and Eda both show, teach, and illuminate one another- Individually great on their own, but when combined, Luz and Eda make an unstoppable pair! Before losing her magic, Eda was already learning about glyphs with her research; Now she gets to do it alongside Luz, and has a reason to for both of them.

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #the owl house luz #luz noceda #the owl house lilith #lilith clawthorne #meta #speculation

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catherdrashepard · 3 years

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Red Rising/Persona

I’m a huge fan of the Persona series and pretty much anything Atlus has done. I am ALSO a huge fan of Red Rising (blame that on @hyena-frog) So, the natural conclusion is that I should determine which Persona the main RR POV characters would have. As well as a couple extras. Pictures will be included with credit to the artist when applicable. Please let me know if I forget to credit someone. (https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/List_of_Persona_5_Royal_Personas) Here is the website I’m using. Spoilers for the first three books and probably a little of Iron Gold. Also a spoiler for the Faith Confidante in Persona 5: Royal. Avoid the Lysander paragraph if you want none of that. Disclaimer: I have not finished Dark Age yet so some of my thoughts might be lacking complete information.

Darrow: The main characters of the Persona series always start with a Persona from the Fool arcana. It doesn’t necessarily stay that way depending on the players personal preference. That being said, Darrow does fit the Fool arcana very well. It’s considered to be the beginning arcana or one without a number. It represents innocence, divine inspiration, madness, freedom, spontaneity, inexperience, chaos and creativity. These traits I think describe Darrow pretty accurately, especially in the first two books. Considering the story revolves around his journey, it makes sense to label him as a character of beginnings. Persona-wise, I think the one that fits Red Rising and Golden Son Darrow would be Satanael. This Persona is basically the equivalent to Lucifer, the angel who led a rebellion against God. But also that isn’t all that Darrow is. I also think the Death arcana is fitting for him, from Morning Star and beyond. Death is an arcana roughly in the middle of the tarot deck and it’s one that represents metamorphosis and change. Literal interpretation aside, Darrow experiences a change in himself after his capture at the end of Golden Son and his rescue in Morning Star. Not to mention, his entire purpose for becoming a Gold in the first place was to provoke a change in the current system of government. For his Death Persona, I would give him Thanatos. Because he’s my favourite, but also he’s considered the harbinger of death. Perfect for the Reaper. I don’t think Darrow completely loses Satanael in favour of Thanatos; I could definitely see him using both depending on the circumstance.

Virginia/Mustang: By Persona standards, because Mustang is Darrow’s main love interest, she would be the Lovers arcana. However, and this was incredibly difficult because she could really fit more acana, I think she could be both the Judgement and the Empress arcana. The Judgement arcana, I feel, fits her Sovereign persona (ha). It’s associated with a deep understanding of life, a balance of light and darkness, and characters who are well-aware, and intelligent. Not that this doesn’t fit her in her private life as well, but it seems more prevalent in her dealings as the Sovereign. The second arcana is the Empress. This one is more associated with mothers and women of authority. As we saw in the first trilogy, she went to great lengths to protect her family, i.e., working for Octavia, being with Cassius, the whole incident in Lykos. Choosing her Persona is tricky, mostly because Personas can shift arcana depending which game they are pulled from. I think the one to go with is Astarte. This is more of a feeling rather than definitive “proof”. She is identified as the goddess of war, hunting, love, sex, horses and possibly the morning star; her symbols are thought to be the lion, panther, and an eight pointed star. This is also the ultimate Persona of Haru in Persona 5, who awakens her initial Persona in defiance of her father and his corruption, which also feels apt. That being said, Astarte is from the Empress arcana and I could not find a Judgement arcana Persona that I felt fit her well enough.

Credit for the picture of Astarte to: Machia McMadlass on Amino

Sevro: Sevro was very easy to choose a Persona for. One in particular stood out to me. I think Sevro could fit both the Fool arcana and the Devil arcana. I think the aspects of the Fool that Sevro embodies are the madness, freedom, spontaneity, and creativity. The Devil arcana represents the urge to do selfish, impulsive, violent things. However, it also can represent a healthy bond and commitment. Sevro is a wild card from the beginning, killing Priam in the first book being a prime example. Both he and Darrow were very unexpected successes in the Institute. This is something that also describes the protagonists in the Persona games as well. They all just kind of show up out of nowhere and completely shift the paradigm, especially in Personas 3&5. As for the Devil arcana, Sevro reminds me of the Devil confidante in Persona 5. Their goals are not the same, but both characters are very focused on what they want and make every effort to push through despite any obstacles in the way. As for the Persona, the one I chose was sort of picked for superficial reasons; Bugbear. Its name comes from the Celtic word bugs which means evil spirit or goblin. It’s also considered to be something of a boogeyman, a creature that lurked in the woods to scare children. Also, it’s essentially a stuffed bear filled with skulls, which seems to fit Sevro’s weird tastes.

Victra: With Victra, one arcana stuck out in my mind immediately, the Chariot. This arcana represents victory, conquest, self-assertion, self-confidence, control, war, and command. When first introduced to Victra, she does seem very sure of herself and what she wants. She strikes me as a shoot first and ask questions later type, which is something she has in common with the video game characters who share this arcana. Like Sevro, she could also fit the Devil arcana, especially during certain events in Dark Age that she pursues very single-mindedly. Although, I would say Victra is more Devil leaning than Sevro. As for the Persona, I think Pazuzu would fit her style pretty well. What really struck me as fitting Victra was the description of Pazuzu as an evil spirit that drives away other evil spirits, and protects humans from plagues and misfortunes. Also, despite trying to stick with the arcana placements of Persona 5 Royal, I think it’s worth noting that Pazuzu was summoned by a character in Devil Survivor who seeks revenge for death of a loved one.

Cassius: While perusing the arcana descriptions, the one for the Lovers immediately reminded me of Cassius. The Lovers is usually reserved for the “canon” love interest in the games, barring player preferences. However, Dassius jokes aside, what really made me think Cassius is that this arcana symbolises two paths a life could lead to and, standing at a crossroad and needing to make a decision. I think this describes Cassius’ personal journey throughout the books to a T, especially in the climax of Morning Star where he makes the decision to join Darrow in taking out Aja and Octavia. The other arcana that Cassius would be is the Star. This arcana is said to represent hope, self-confidence, faith, altruism, luck, generosity, peace and joy. I feel like self-confidence, faith, and altruism fit pre-end of Morning Star Cassius very well. He was considered the pinnacle of Golds and I think, at least until he learned what was actually going on, that’s all he wanted to be. The game characters with this arcana are teachers or mentors to the protagonist. Characters that are very good at what they do and offer some form of training. A sort of outlier to this is Teddie, from Persona 4. While he does have more experience than the main character dealing with the enemy (both Cassius and Teddie are part of the group the protagonist fights against), Teddie doesn’t take a combative role until later in the game. This is only possible because Rise, who replaces him as support, makes him question his identity or the “real” him. This is very similar to what happens to Cassius in the first three books. Darrow becomes what Cassius thought himself to be and it causes Cassius to question who he really is. Although, unlike Teddie, I think Cassius chose to heavily lean into being the perfect Gold specimen until the end of Morning Star, where he makes a choice to be the “real” Cassius. As for the Persona, I could easily see him with Sraosha, who represents the highest virtue of humanity, obedience to and submission to Divine Law. I think his motivations for using this Persona would change, however. I imagine at first, he would use it to keep the Society functioning how it always does. But, after Morning Star, I bet it would shift to be more about protecting his own ideals and the submission aspect would relate to Cassius’ personal morals and sense of justice.

Lysander: I really wanted to avoid using the arcana that are not present in a standard deck, and added for a specific game. However, one of the arcana that stood out to me for Lysander is the Faith arcana. This arcana symbolises, in the positive, belief in others and in oneself. Negatively, it represents blind faith misplaced in something that does not deserve trust. From what I understand of Lysander’s story, his personal journey seems to mirror that of the game character who shares his arcana. It is revealed later that she is a fake, and her memories were overwritten by another character. I have not finished Dark Age as of writing this but, I am under the strong impression that Lysander has been brainwashed and that some of his memories have been replaced or erased entirely. And while he does have some misgivings about the Society, I believe he is blind to how fucked up it really is. But it also holds potential for Lysander to overcome this indoctrination. I had a bit of trouble with what the second arcana would be but, I think the Moon fits Lysander pretty well. You could say he’s a….Moonie. But in all seriousness, the description that struck me as Lysander-esque was "They often tend to have trouble accepting themselves for who they are and, because of that fear, try to correspond to an ideal person. And like the arcana, there is a hidden depth as to why they act in their behaviours." Lysander was definitely sheltered and isolated, by both Octavia and Cassius (he tried his best). And perhaps by Atalantia to some degree. He is a fed a narrative and doesn’t really get a chance to analyse his own perceptions and why they may be incorrect. The characters of the Moon arcana in the game often struggle internally with themselves which, to be honest, is a trait most of the POV characters have. But what I think Lysander lacks in that case, is self-awareness. As for the Persona, I ended up going with Cendrillon. This Persona is based on Cinderella, which is a little different from some of the other ones. As much as I like to make fun of Lysander for his poor choices, it’s hard not to see him as a victim. I don’t necessarily think he’s a hero or that he’s entitled to the kind of happy ending Cinderella gets. However, I do feel that, like the fairy tale princess, some of his circumstances were as a result of situations that were out of his control. Also, a line really stuck with me from the initial awakening for the Persona that really made me think Lysander; “Well, if those really are the shoes you've chosen... Then we'll dance to the end.”

Ephraim: Ephraim suffers a lot throughout the books, and I feel like that reflects heavily on what arcana he is. I think the first one that fits him well is the Tower arcana, which is associated with a fall from grace. His story reminds me a lot of the Tower social link character in Persona 3. Both Ephraim and the game character lose their family and turn to substance abuse to numb the pain. People of the Tower arcana seems to suffer a lot of internal pain which they fail to cope with healthily and thus turn to less savoury means until and outside force steps in to help steer them in a better direction. The other arcana I believe fits him well is the Hanged Man. What makes me think Ehpraim is that the appearance of the Hanged Man can be seen as advice to take the time to reflect over one's upcoming actions, which is something I think he needs to learn how to do. They can also be self-sacrificial and are often notable for being stuck between two different stages of life. Also, much like the Tower arcana characters, their journey seems to revolve around some kind of loss that they are failing to cope with. As for the Persona….this was a bit tricky. I have a few I like but one comes with a bit reluctance because of how it plays into the plot of Persona 4 and how it would reflect on Ephraim’s character. But, my gut is telling me that Magatsu-Izanagi is the way to go. What is making me think of Ephraim when I see it is the symbolism behind this Persona. It represents emptiness, impulsiveness, poor judgement, obsession and frivolity. There are also some similarities between Ephraim and the character who wields this Persona in Persona 4. They both exhibit little tact and seem to be playing some sort of game with the other characters. However, Adachi (Persona 4 character) seems to do this because he’s a psychopath whereas I think Ephraim is this way as a terrible coping mechanism. In Persona 4, the arcana where this Persona fits in is meant to be the reversed Fool. And while I’m trying to stick with the Persona 5 Royal placements (which for Magatsu-Izanagi is the Tower arcana), I think the implication here is that Ephraim has a lot of potential to be something so great if he can just reverse the path he is going down.

Lyria: I love Lyria. I think she’s a wonderful and interesting character. I love that she highlights the ramifications of undoing a toxic form of government. She gets so much development that it was easy to see what arcana she fit into. The first one I thought of was the Hermit. It represents wisdom, introspection, solitude, retreat and philosophical searches. In the beginning, she has very strong opinions about Darrow and the rest of the Rising. Which is entirely understandable considering her entire way of life was stripped from her without a way to cope with the changes. But, unlike Lysander, she’s willing to re-examine herself and her perceptions as she is presented with new information. She also tends to try and keep under the radar if she can, which is another trait of the Hermit. What’s interesting to me is that other characters of the Hermit arcana are victims of circumstances out of their control, but they see their own victimization as a result of a flaw in their character. The other arcana is very tricky for me, as there are parts of Lyria’s character that I don’t know yet. After much discussion and deliberation with my resident expert, the second arcana for Lyria is the Priestess. This arcana is a symbol of hidden knowledge or other untapped power, wisdom, female mystery and patience. The characters of this arcana also take more time to open up to the protagonist than others. Which also fits Lyria as she needed time and introspection to really understand Darrow and Mustang. As for the Persona, I’m actually going to cheat a little with my choice. I try to keep the arcana placements from Persona 5 Royal but for Lyria, I’m choosing Hariti whose arcana is Priestess in Persona 4 and Persona Q. Hariti is a protector of children and childbirth after going through a significant change in perspective which, from what I understand and have been told, is also something that Lyria does.

#persona #red rising #my thoughts

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meandmyechoes · 3 years

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The more I think about Dark Disciple, the more I find something odd.

[28th March 17:46]

I keep referring to it as a ‘favourable experience’, and there is no question the writing is what made me fall totally head over heels about quintress, but I also just, can’t?

I mean, yes. It’s very passionate, dramatic, scenes and gestures I can only dream of. But I also, don’t really see it in that ’omg they totally belong together here are my sixty headcanons of them’ sense?

I am very involved in the pairing, but also don’t really, actively ‘ship’ it — like the way it was an open book with Rhayme or Latts Razzi (since it’s the same author that indoctrinated me to Captain Rhayme). I could imagine them being happily ever after and silly shenanigans and slow-burn. But the concept of a quintress fairytale ending is so wild. I can only ask how much it is tainted with my personal view on relationships.

I know the plot leaves little room for “the future” and fed us well on all tropes possible. But, it just never occurred to me to put them in any other clichés or invent a missing scene.

Winding up, I don’t think their relationship is "weak", but it’s very motivated by circumstances and once you take that out of them, you are a little bit lost. For example even during the illicit affairs month, I… can’t really propose one date that does not seem tonally insensitive. (I can think of them being cloak dorks and Vos bringing her to ice-cream, that’s it, after a long hard moment) Really, all I possibly want is that sweet, sweet angst and canon is already there so I have no complaint.

It’s just… I don’t really get why it has to be the two of them that fall for each other. I understand why they did, and I believe it— Perhaps it’s much more a physical attraction thing that I don’t really have personal experience with.

I don’t know if quintress classify as slow-burn because 10 chapters still seem a little quick in the grand scheme of things. (aside: I’m quite disappointed Ventress wasn’t doing much in the last quarter of the book.) My point is, they do feel a little bit puppet to tropes, and while it’s deliciously written, there’s not much potential outside of canon. And that lack of inspiration makes me grimace a little.

[3rd April, 01:39]

I’ve scrolled through the dd tag and let the book sank a little. I am better articulated to talk about the sexist criticism now.

It’s a romance story, and when I judge it by that (lower) standard, it ticks the boxes. However, it might be a weakness as well, due to the projectability of the heroes. And yes, the whole assassination is dumb. Yet, tcw has been consistently this dumb at us. The last two times when she’s more rooted in the dark she failed, sent Savage and failed, so she’s gonna do it again with Vos… after she put down her desire for revenge. right. and surprise! Our “assassination” plan is to find Dooku and duel him directly. right…

I’ve read a review that says the romance takes away from the plot. However, the romance IS the plot. The book IS supposed to revolve around the two of them. I do agree them becoming begrudging allies then partners is a more unique approach, more rewarding as foils as well. but I guess a romance is easier for the conventional to process ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

With the “Ventress lose agency in falling for Vos”. Now, I can’t dictate how each of us buy into their physical attraction and chemistry (or lack thereof), and there’s no denial that a conscious human being is making that choice for the fictional character, I think the stance on this topic varied person to person from the above two factors, which are very different starting points.

I kept Katie Lucas’s foreword vividly in mind while reading. She said this is a story about people seizing chances to rebuild. That there’s always a choice. Cliché as it is, I believe ~the power of love~. I believe there exists someone you’re willing to sacrifice everything for, to overlook everything for, to forgive - to love them, warts and all. So, yes whether you think Ventress loses her agency to the romance, or if that’s a conscious choice on her behalf, is swayed heavily by how much you buy that they are the one.

[10th April, 10:30]

Yesterday I’ve been thinking a bit more about this. I do love this ship, I just don’t believe they’d be two people who find each other again and again in every life time, in every universe. That’s why, as magnificent as fireworks, it also won’t last.

To explore this, it’s not entire impossible for quintress to separate peacefully after this incident, but would that cheapen the build before? The entire motivation of dark!Quinlan hinges on his vision of their future. And say, Ventress did saved him and survived. How would he balance being a Jedi and his feelings - that’s publicly exposed to the Council? (sidenote: i really don’t like Ch. 27 where a bunch of old men are questioning their love life, but uhhh yes, I’m a sensible person!) For now, I’m seeing another Obi-Satine situation. And honestly how bad that an outcome is. It’s not like Ventress died for her war crimes! The show gave her a full pardon! So Idk man. Why can’t she leave him because she loves him and she exiled herself and they never see each other again WHY NOT FILONI WHY NOT.

Now I’m lamenting more what could’ve been with the two arcs. In Filoni’s original sketch, Aayla and Maul were involved. Man, that could’ve been the dream.

~~~

Part 2: [26th April, 15:15]

It has been… a month, since I finished Dark Disciple and I feel like it’s time to conclude all the thinking this book has made me do.

On the wider reflection about attachment and the Jedi Order, I still have to do more reading on it from other sources to form a concrete opinion. This theme won’t be touched on in this post yet, but I cannot shake how intriguing it is to compare “falling” in love to falling to the dark side. The temptation, and the submission to their emotions, the irrationality, the newfound curiosity, it all incites. Very curiously, it was Anakin Skywalker who commented that one is “blinded by love”

Okay, so what I’ve been scratching my head off the past two weeks is how I look at the romance between Asajj Ventress and Quinlan Vos. How would I define it?

Now this is as much as an exploration of how I view romantic relationships. Well, I’ve decided it wasn’t “love”, it was an “affair”. It was an affair because it’s a rush of passion, it’s a secret, it won’t last. Before I chop my own head off for bluntness, I mean it in, of course they are hopelessly in love with each other, that’s the exact premise of why it moved me so. But it wasn’t a complete relationship, wasn’t a healthy, sustainable one by any objective standards. Then, that’s the exact contradiction. Oh to throw caution in the wind with you, or to build a future with you?

Both are things I want a lot, and the ideal is of course one after the other. What quintress had (in the end) is definitely not something I’d want for myself, but it’s so fantastical, it’s alluring, just like the concept of falling in love - opening up yourself and trusting another person, is - it’s risky. That’s why it’s a sweet, sweet drug.

I’ve been so angry at all the red flags in this relationship. Reading this book, getting into both of their shoes, yelling NO like their best friends. But ultimately, what they had is unique to them and I can’t influence it in any way. Re-reading, I find myself holding myself back at all the places I was furious about going ‘You are smarter than this!’. Because it’s a tragedy, and the beautiful (I guess) thing is they chose each other.

The other day something on the dash inspired me to really think about ship dynamics. I, unashamedly admit, I’m VERY into Obi/Quin/Ventress in any and all combinations. *cough* I will not explain further.

I do accept the premise and I did discover they share quite a bunch of traits, but it confused me a while what made them cross the boundary, and it was, physical attraction (that the book was selling so hard I was blushing hot). I love them both a lot, and I would like to date them both, and I can see myself in either of them. Again comes the contradiction, is it a good thing to have characters so easily projectable, or do I want to see myself in more complex characters like them?

I probably lost quite a few cars stalling this train of thought. And I've been a canon apologist since forever. This book brought me a lot of emotional upheavals and a lot of food for thought. It brought me down to reflect on my romantic worldview and sexuality because I have nothing better to do. It totally challenged me as a writer and it’s just a really good novel by its right, regardless of the absurdity that is The Clone Wars. It’s a lot of firsts for me. And I really should find something better to do.

[26th April 16:00]

I must address that I got spoiled of the ending and the first and second half of the book probably went through some big changes.

If I cried for this book, it’s score would be even higher. And I’ve been so obsessed with discussing the relationship, without shedding light on the characterization, which is definitely an unfortunate side effect. Then it occurs that quite possibly the second half (26-42) deviated even further from the script than the first? It doesn’t have concept art or blocking, plus possibly (heavily) edited to omit correlation to other arcs. My major complaint for the second half is Ventress doesn’t do much and we know NOTHING about Vos, even though he is given screen time in the book. my, I just wish Ventress punch him harder and drag his idiotic mess back to the light sooner.

And to criticism about it being their ‘toxic’ relationship being portrayed as ‘true love’, well, it really depends on how thoughtful the reader is, right? I think if the reader is able to notice all these red flags and gave their own interpretation of the relationship and its outcome, it’d’ve been an educating experience. There’s what for the reader and what for the characters. They don’t know this ‘love’ is destroying them, and what kind of message is it sending? What ‘love’ depicted in the book is true then? I have my answers, and I hope every reader comes to their own as well.

#dark disciple #sw reading #clean version #i yell 'EXCEPT THE FLIRTY PART' every three scenes

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loving-jack-kelly · 4 years

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i think its so weird how people are highkey mean to matt?? like in the fandom??? people will deadass see matt isolating himself due to self hatred and be like "what a bitch". like both matt and frank pretended to be dead and then showed back up into peoples (specifically karens) lives but people will shit talk matt for it and say shit like "frank would never do that to karen" like frank didnt do the exact same thing and matt was in a fucking coma for half the time he was gone!! and he just survived what was basically a suicide attempt!! jesus christ!!

I think the tone we all need to take with Matt is the same as Foggy snapping “You’re my best friend, asshole!” like yeah. he can be an asshole. he’s done some shitty things to his friends, he’s a nightmare to try and help because he really hates accepting help or love of any kind, and if you take what he says at face value, he comes off as a total dick.

but like....there’s so much more to him than face value? like not only is he one incredibly traumatized individual like the things he went through between the ages of nine and like fifteen alone explain so much about him but also. how many people has he felt die? how many people does he hear in pain every second of every day? how many times has he had it hammered into him, through experience or shitty people around him, that when he shows up, so does suffering. that he brings horrible things into the lives of anybody he lets get close.

when he pushes people away, it isn't because he thinks he’s some saint who works best alone. like he isn’t Mr. incredible up in here saying “I work alone” because of pride or whatever, he knows that what he’s doing is dangerous, and the more people know the worse it gets for them.

and like....he didn’t choose a lot of his life, you know? he didn’t choose to be able to hear every bit of suffering in hell’s kitchen at all times. he didn’t choose to lose his dad, he didn’t choose to be trained (and indoctrinated) by Stick, he’s just had shitty things happen to him all the time, and that’s gonna leave a mark on him.

so like...yeah. hold him accountable. he owes people in his life an apology, he needs to get better at healthy relationships, but the thing is, he knows it? he doesn't expect them to just accept it and move on without addressing it. he lets Foggy walk away because he knows it’s what’s best for them at the time. he lets Karen be mad at him, he lets her make the choice to not have him in her life when she needs that, because he knows that what he did was shitty. he knows he broke their trust, and he doesn’t expect them to just be fine with him after they find out. like it’s not like he’s some manipulative asshole who’s intentionally causing them pain or trying to excuse everything he’s done, he’s well aware that he’s hurt them and that they deserve to be able to say “no, I’m done, this has to stop.” he lets them do that, because he hates himself as much as he thinks they do. more than they actually do, in fact, because they can at least see the good in him and all he sees is something twisted and evil and uncontrollable that he can barely control.

and yeah! he was unconscious for weeks, and then not only was he so crazy depressed because he’d just lost. everything. Elektra for the second time, and as far as he knows when he wakes up he’s lost his hearing in one ear and practically in the other, which is debilitating because that’s how he navigates his world, and his entire purpose was Daredevil and trying to make a difference and how is he supposed to do that when he can’t walk twenty feet without tripping and falling? and how is he supposed to do anything good when he’s realized he’ll never be content just being Matt Murdock the Lawyer because he needs to be doing something more and yet in the same moment he also thinks that he’ll never get back on his feet well enough to do anything at all. and he’s suicidal, which is terrifying both because he’s never felt this terrible before and because he barely has the tools to comprehend what he’s feeling, and just when he’s starting to feel like maybe, maybe he’s getting there and even if the comfort isn’t enough to make him feel better, at least thinking that he might get Daredevil back is something, that’s when he finds out Fisk is out and that means that so much of what he’s worked for, suffered for, is being undone.

he’s been through so, so much, and every layer of him is some kind of scar, some lingering fear or trauma from something he has no control over, and calling him an asshole without taking any of that into account is just straight up ignoring a pretty big chunk of his character. he doesn’t pretend to be some infallible Jesus figure who’s the savior of hell’s kitchen and can do no wrong. if he did, he would be a total asshole and a much less interesting and likable character, but he doesn’t. he thinks he’s a terrible man trying his best to do something good with what he has, and he hates that he hurts the people he cares about and he hates that he doesn’t ever feel good enough and he hates that he can’t seem to catch a break and he hates himself. he really does hate himself for everything he’s become, because he can’t see the good he’s doing.

also like....Karen and Foggy call him on it constantly. all the time. they don’t let Matt get away with being an asshole or let him use anything as an excuse, you know? they help him, and they love him and try to be there for him and support him, but they also tell him when he’s being an asshole. when he’s hurting them. when he needs to do better. they don’t let him get away with his own self-destructive tendencies and pretend the problems aren’t there, they point them out. they yell at him. they tell him how he’s hurt them with his actions, and not just the suffering he thinks he drags with him wherever he goes. it isn’t like he’s never held accountable by his friends. they don’t enable him, and the narrative really doesn’t ever try to make it seem like “oh foggy is such a terrible person for walking out on Matt” it’s very clear that they both needed to take a step back to heal that relationship, and when they come back together in Defenders and then again in the latter half of season three, it’s obvious that taking some time apart has only let them both realize how much they need each other, and their relationship becomes much healthier. Matt tells Foggy things, Foggy trusts Matt more, and they’re able to work together all the more effectively because of it, and that positive shift wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t been allowed to fight. if Foggy hadn’t been allowed to get angry and need to take time to process away from Matt.

in conclusion yeah, Matt’s an asshole, but who isn’t? especially somebody who’s been through as much as Matt has without ever really having a healthy outlet or a good way to process any of it, because everything has been passed through this filter he has of him being something horrible and evil and irredeemable. like he shouldn’t just be let off the hook for hurting people, but he also isn’t just an asshole for the sake of being an asshole. he’s not some superhero who thinks he’s too good for everyone, so he doesn’t think twice about pushing them away or how his actions will hurt them, he’s pretty much the exact opposite.

#matt murdock #daredevil #this is incoherent but i have So Many Thoughts #matt is such a good and complex character #his development is so well done #and so are the relationships #like i really really appreciate that they don't just have foggy #be all excited his friend is a superhero #it's so much more interesting to see them struggle to fix their friendship #and to know that they're willing to work on it because they love each other #depression ment #suicide ment #Anonymous

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