#also she does have a new york accent so have fun reading this in that tone lmfao

[whitexwolfxx310]

|| Why Are You Never Real ||

Pairing: Bucky x female reader (Eleanor//Elena)) || Bucky x Loki Summary: In 1943, 24 year old Eleanor gets set up on a blind date with Bucky Barnes. The match is so perfect, it was written in the stars. Yes, they're soulmates. Unfortunately, HYDRA gets in the way- taking the perfect life away from the two. But what if fate was so certain, it gave them another chance to be together?

Warnings: Fluff and angst off the charts (I'm so sorry!). Some cursing- but very little.

Word Count: 5.8k A/Ns: So a few things inspired this fic; First, someone requested something similar to this about a year ago. The idea stuck with me (although it was originally about the love interest being on ice also). I can't find the message of the person who requested, so if you come across this & it was you, please let me know so I can give you credit! Second, I saw a TikTok of Bucky & Loki and I've been obsessed with bringing the two together. Last but not least, I'm one of those that is constantly blasting Sleep Token- so in combination with all of these things, the song: The Apparition was also inspiring. Let me know what you think!

1943

It was Labor Day weekend, and anybody who's anybody knows that's when the carnival came to town. Not only was it the official end to the hot New York summers, but it was an escape from everything having to do with the ongoing War. It was a reprieve for the children, to go out and experience some lighthearted fun. But mostly, the carnival lured the young adult crowd like a gullible captain to a siren in the sea.

Eleanor was twenty-four, still living comfortably at home with her parents and four younger siblings. While she helped take care of her siblings, the passive comments about how she was unmarried and reaching her prime age to start a family never failed to be brought up in daily conversations in their household. It wasn't for a lack of suitors. Plenty of men had asked her on dates, a few even so bold enough to offer marriage without so much as going for a stroll in the park. But for Eleanor, it wasn't just about picking a random man to build a life with. She dreamed of a true romance, just like the ones she would get so lost in while reading her books- and eventually starting a family out of love and not necessity or by society's regards.

While she had already made plans to meet up with her girlfriends on Saturday night at the carnival, her mother had a different idea- A blind date.

Eleanor had intriguingly spent the afternoon with her hair in curlers and ironing her favorite yellow summer dress, the one with white polka dots and matching heels. It would perfectly accent the slight tan she obtained from the few times she snuck to the beach on the outskirts of the city to dig her toes in the sand and lay in the scorching sun. As her typical primping time took a little longer than usual in anticipation for the blind date, Eleanor’s mind kept getting swept up in who the possible mystery man could be. Was it someone she knew? A family friend? What did he look like? Was he short or tall? Does he have a sense of humor? Sure, she of course curious if he was handsome. But that was never her main focus. Eleanor wanted someone who could make her laugh- someone that was playful and knew how to have fun. But a pretty face was definitely a bonus. Opening the front door and stepping out into the Summer’s relentless humidity, she was met with none other than Bucky Barnes- Brooklyn's most notorious flirt and former high school crush. He leaned casually against the railing of the front steps, dressed in an olive-green Class A's uniform wearing a smug smile.

"Ready for our date, Doll?" After initially closing the door in his face in a panic, Eleanor's mother pleaded with her to try and give him a chance. Rumor amongst the women on the block was that he was looking for a wife. She rambled off the typical list of how handsome he was, how he came from a good family, and the cherry on top of the guilt pie: he had just enlisted in the Army and was leaving in just a few short weeks for basic training. Who knows when he will come back home, if at all? Could one date really be so bad?

Eleanor felt nervous walking the few blocks with Bucky, exchanging formal pleasantries about how beautiful the night was and so on. But she was shy- at least, by her standards. She had always worn a big smile and never felt self-conscious about how loud she laughed, regardless of how many times people stated that it was ‘unladylike’. Because of her unapologetic mentality in refusing to conform to make herself small, it labeled her as difficult. Eleanor didn’t have many friends, but she always said: “I’d rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies,” and felt fulfilled. The people in her life that truly knew her, knew of her dreams and ambitions- and that she truly had a heart of gold. Not many others noticed, but Bucky did. He had always noticed how Eleanor could light up a room. She was the sun incarnate. So, when her mother ‘accidentally’ bumped into him on the street that morning and suggested he take her out tonight, he couldn’t refuse the idea. “So aside from enlisting,” Eleanor gestured towards his uniform with her free hand, since her other was interlocked around Bucky’s arm, “what else have you been up to since we graduated, Barnes?” She unconsciously gripped his forearm just a bit tighter, using physical touch to ground her from the unfamiliar nervousness she felt. “Sergeant Barnes,” he corrected with a grin. The pair moved from their sedentary spot in the carnival ticket line, only a few away from the booth. “Okay, Sergeant,” Eleanor reiterates, laughing to herself. “So?” she asks again, tilting her head to the side curiously and looking up at him through her lashes. “Boxed my way through art school. Then with all the boys gettin’ drafted, I just figured I’d sign up before Uncle Sam had the chance to come knockin’ on my door,” he recalled casually, but didn’t seem interested in talking about himself. Bucky’s arm disentangled with Eleanor’s, pressing his palm to the small of her lower back to coax her forward gently as the ticket line moved again. Her breath hitched slightly when he didn’t remove it right away, she eyed him up and down modestly.

His head tilted to the side, “What about you, Ellie?” his sapphire blue eyes holding her gaze, “What keeps you busy these days?”

Ellie. The nickname he uses makes her stomach drop, and they haven’t even gone on any rides yet. It’s a name he’s used off and on through school and over the years in passing. Her cheeks brighten with a new shade of light pink, breaking their fixed look at one another. Bucky takes notice and smiles fondly to himself.

“Um,” Eleanor forces herself to look back up at him, feeling at a loss for words as she tries not to focus so much on his beautiful smile- On how his slightly parted lips show the smallest hint of his white teeth. She didn’t think she’d be on a date tonight, let alone with someone that she’d been smitten with since grade school.

“I um,” her words were failing her for the first time ever, “I teach at the elementary school.” She hesitates a moment, before taking a breath and says, “to be honest, I’ve been waiting to get pulled into one of the factories.” Her voice now has a hint of sadness. Ellie quickly tries to deflect the subject, “Plus my brothers and sisters keep me pretty busy.” “Ah,” Bucky’s smile grows wider as his head tilts back at the recollection, also taking the hint, “and how are the little scoundrels?” Ellie laughs, thankful to have the relief of talking about herself put off. She shakes her head, “Still terrorizing anyone and everyone.” “Next!” Bucky reluctantly pulls his attention away from Ellie to step up to the ticket booth. “Two please,” he answers politely. As the worker counts his change, Bucky’s eyes couldn’t help but admire Ellie from head to toe. How she pointed one foot inward and fiddled with her fingers as she waited patiently with an imminent smile- admiring the sights and sounds of the fair around her. She was truly breathtaking.

There was no short supply of local attractive women. Bucky had dated plenty of them, and even more had shared his bed. They had always flocked to him, like a moth to a flame. It was a great stroke to his ego, but he was never taken with any of them. And none of them would have slammed a door in his face at the mere sight of him. Ellie though? She was something else entirely. He was always interested in what she had to say. The stories she told always captivated him and made him laugh. Being around her was easy and never forced. Even when they were kids, he found himself stealing glances and daydreaming about her. He had to make tonight mean something.

As Bucky had promised himself, he pulled out all the stops to impress Ellie. It wasn’t long before she eased back into her normal self, although she couldn’t ignore the butterflies constantly flittering along the lining of her belly. The two spent hours walking around the carnival, sharing treats like cotton candy and the biggest, most delicious cannoli they had ever had. Bucky learned fast, and kept suggesting riding the bigger rides, because he selfishly loved it when Ellie clung onto him when she got scared. And Ellie, never being one to back down, always said yes. Ellie eventually convinced Bucky to take a break from riding the tilt-a-whirl back-to-back after threatening him with seeing the pink cotton candy to make an appearance again. He reluctantly conceded, knowing that he would be missing her reaching out and holding onto him. He suggested they play some carnival games until she felt better. And from the way Ellie’s eyes lit up with excitement, Bucky knew it was a promising idea.

In the meantime, they threw darts to pop balloons, a few several types of ball toss, and a horse racing game. Bucky even got to show off his marksmanship at a rifle target booth, winning Ellie a brown teddy bear that she proudly carried around with her for the entirety of the evening. But the best part was the way they cheered each other on with every game. Bucky’s heart swelled each time he won, and Ellie would jump up and down in excitement for him. Even with the playful competitive banter back and forth, neither of them felt a bitter loss. It was starting to get late, and the fair would be shutting down soon. The only ride the two hadn’t ridden yet was the Ferris wheel. Saving the best for last. Standing in a decently extensive line, the pair continued on with the tradition of the night: sharing belly laugh filled stories about dates gone horribly wrong and glances that lingered just a little too long.

Bucky felt something being with Ellie that was completely unfamiliar. In a world that was currently plagued with such darkness, this was the first time in he didn’t know how long he didn’t feel it weigh on him. She rejuvenated his very soul. Bucky silently wished out into the universe that she felt the same about him. “Y’know Ellie, I have to admit,” Bucky tucked his hands into his pockets as he stared down at the dirt his shoe kicked up. “tonight’s been…Ellie?” As he looked up from the ground to meet those golden eyes, there was nothing. She was gone. “Ellie?” Bucky repeated, louder this time as he frantically scanned the large crowd. “Ellie!” He shouted through his funneled hands while standing on his toes. Bucky’s head was starting to spin with worst case scenarios when he suddenly caught a glimpse of her bright yellow dress. Off in a quiet corner next to the circus tent, Ellie was crouched down talking to a young boy. The boy wasn’t looking at her, but instead his head hung low as he stared at the ground, and he seemed… upset.

Although he was too far away to hear, Bucky watched the encounter intently. Ellie nodded gently as she spoke to him, gesturing with her free hand- but the boy still seemed unresponsive. A moment of silence passes between them, and then with a bright smile, Ellie holds up the brown teddy bear that Bucky had won her earlier. She makes the stuffed animal dance, wave its arms, and boop the boy on his nose- finally getting his attention and smile. Then she holds the bear out to him. Without hesitation, he snatches it into his arms and pulls it tight against his chest. The boy is now beaming and looks like he was swapped with a completely different child. He hugs Ellie before running off to another group of children, holding up and showing off the bear while they all exclaimed how lucky he was. Ellie smiled and waved as the boy ran off, remaining crouched down on the ground for a moment even after being alone. Standing up as she brushed off her dress and watched the boy, her expression changed to one with a sorrowful undertone as the boy and his friends ran off. Turning to walk back to the Ferris wheel line, her honey brown eyes locked with Bucky’s. Just the sight of him waiting on her, standing online looking tall, broad, and handsome in that uniform watching her made her cheeks blush and a small smile tug on her lips.

From Bucky’s point of view, time seemed to move in slow motion. The bottom of Ellie’s dress flowed out with each sway of her hips. Her curls gently bounced with each graceful step, despite the uneven fairgrounds. He forgot how to breathe the closer she approached.

“Sorry ‘bout that, Sarge.” Ellie says apologetically, joining Bucky back in the line. “It’s alright,” Bucky’s voice is soft from his throat being dry. The feeling is suddenly overwhelming, his hand has laid dormant for too long. Taking the risk of not being on a ride, he wraps his arm around her shoulders. “Everything okay?” Leaning her body into his, Ellie sighs, “that was one of my students. He got the news earlier this week that his father died in the war. Left behind a wife and three kids… I just-” taking in a deep breath to try and calm herself, she shakes her head, “I know we’ve heard this story a hundred times before, Buck. It just never gets any easier. And I’m so sorry about the bear. I just got caught up in wanting to make him feel better that I just, I-” it was obvious that her heart hurt for the boy as her voice started to crack as she rambled.

She was right, it never got easier to hear these stories. And it always hit that much closer to home when it was someone you knew that was affected. Bucky was unsure if it was the story of the boy, or seeing Ellie’s act of compassion, but there was an undeniable gnawing in his chest as well. “Hey…” he cooed gently, cupping her chin between his thumb and pointer finger, coaxing her to look at him. Ellie tilted her head, though reluctant to look into Bucky’s eyes. But when she did, she found those cerulean irises filled with an unfeigned understanding as he leaned in close, “just means I get to take you out again for a chance to win another one, doll.” Her breath hitched again, at both the close proximity and the idea of another date with Bucky. Her eyes drifted down to his lips briefly before she met his gaze once again. Instinctively, Ellie started to lean in closer- not caring who was around to witness her kiss Bucky Barnes in public.

Bucky mirrored Ellie’s motions, his tongue gently flicking against his lips as he leaned in also when- “Next!” The carnival worker called. The disappointment was evident on Bucky’s face as his lips clenched into a thin line and his eyes closed tightly. Ellie though, was the opposite. She grabbed Bucky’s hand, “C’mon, Sergeant!” she giggled, dragging him onto the ride. Yet again, her smile was contagious, and he immediately gave in. Settling into their car on the Ferris wheel, it quickly jerked and rocked as it started to spin. Ellie threw her arms straight up into the air, squealing in pure excitement. And Bucky watched- Watched as the wonder sparkled in Ellie’s eyes, how the glow of the fair’s lights accentuated her already mesmerizing features, but mainly, he was dying to know if those lips tasted like the most perfect red delicious apple since they were painted exactly like one.

“Anybody ever tell you that you have a staring problem, Sarge?” Bucky had to blink a couple of times to focus. The Ferris wheel car had stopped at the very top, Ellie had her chin propped on her fist, smiling up at him through her lashes. He shook his head, “I was just thinking,” Bucky moved in a little closer, reaching his arm around Ellie’s shoulders, “that you are the most fascinating woman I have ever met.” “He’s lost in a memory…” Ellie’s cheeks blushed, but she rolled her eyes, “oh stop. I bet that’s something you say to all the girls.” Fireworks started firing off into the sky, mirroring the evident spark between the two. “I don’t care what the hell has to be done! Get him out of it! Scramble him again if you have to!” Bucky’s nose scrunches as he smiles, his head tilted up slightly to look down at her, “no, no. My pickup lines are usually waaay cheesier.” He and Ellie both laugh in unison, muffled by the occasional loud pops of the fireworks. But the pair refused to look away from one another.

“But sir-” Leaning in, Bucky breathes in both the mixed carnival aromas and the beautiful floral scent that is Ellie’s perfume. Her eyes flutter close as her lips purse towards his- “I. Don’t. CARE! Do it! NOW!” [2013] Bucky is met with a swift, vigorous slap to the face. Blinking rapidly, his eyes painfully adjust to the fluorescent lights in the room. Once focused, he finds numerous pairs of hard eyes staring down at him. Bucky sheepishly looks down at his bare chest, flexing painfully against the tight restraints of his chair. The realization that it was in fact not 1943 and not his first date with Ellie was quickly confirmed by the surrounding HYDRA agents, all staring at him like he was some wild animal waiting to snap and tear through a village.

Although in retrospect, he may have done that once or twice. And secretly, he never minded having HYDRA blood on his hands. If that wasn’t confirmation enough, the skin on his left shoulder was taut- the built-up scar tissue irritated from the roughened edges of his metal arm. God, how he hated that fucking thing. Sure, getting used to any kind of prosthetic takes time to accept- if at all. But this was used with the sole purpose of turning Bucky into a weapon, and for that reason, he hated it and everything it stood for. At least, when he could remember. Which is why he was always restrained. Which is why he was brainwashed over and over again until he forgot his name. Which is why he was thrown on ice when he wasn’t of use, so they didn’t have to hear his endless screaming as he tore and ripped at the skin, praying it would be tarnished enough that they couldn’t make him a new arm. But they always made him a new arm.

Alexander Pierce stepped out from between a few of the agents, clad in an expensive gray suit that stood out against the sea of all black military grade HYDRA uniforms. “Where’d you go?” he asked nonchalantly, shoving his hands into his pockets. It’s not like he was genuinely curious about anything that didn’t pertain to his own interests. Bucky’s brow furrowed, his eyes glancing briefly in Pierce’s direction before looking down again, “n-nowhere…” he replied apprehensively, always cautious about giving personal details when he remembered them. Pierce huffed sarcastically under his breath. A smirk tugged on his lips as his eyes narrowed on Bucky, “wipe him,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand, “we’ll start fresh again tomorrow.” He wasn’t even fully done speaking before he spun on the heels of his dress shoes and was out the door.

The mechanical whirring from the machines surrounding Bucky’s now reclined chair grew antagonizingly loud. He could feel his lips uncontrollably twitch- and it took everything within his remaining willpower not to snarl as he reluctantly accepted the mouth guard the agent forced onto his teeth. Bucky’s chest already glistened with sweat as it heaved deeply, anxious for what was to come. His eyes widened at the sight of the all too familiar chrome halo that soon clasped securely around his head. He braced himself for the pain of his mind feeling like it was on literal fire by breathing around the mouthpiece and digging his heels. At least today, he remembered Ellie. Bucky just focused on the pure, rare beauty that she was sitting on top of the Ferris wheel that night- smiling at him like he was the only man in the world. Until it all went black. [Present Day]

He wasn’t sure if it was the sounds of his own screams or flailing around in his sleep that woke him from his nightmare. Or rather, memory. Bucky sat upright from the living room floor, tangled up in his blanket. His eyes traced the room, taking in the primarily dark apartment aside from the faint glow of the television. He felt hot, despite only sleeping in his boxers and his skin shining with a thick layer of sweat. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, even though he desperately took in quick, ragged breaths. Bucky felt so lost, even though he had been found. Even with being free of HYDRA and breaking from the control that anyone could have over him after spending time in Wakanda, he didn’t feel as though anyone truly knew him. Hell, he wasn’t even sure who he was after it all was stripped away. The only people who understood Bucky were Steve and Ellie, and they’re both gone. A small ‘meow’ came from Bucky’s side, making her presence known before gently rubbing her head against his thigh. Well, maybe there was one who understood him.

Letting out the pent-up air in his lungs, Bucky picked up the petite white cat and cradled her against his chest, “Sorry, pretty girl,” he actively softened his voice, “did I wake you?” He gently ran his hand over her head and down her neck, immediately pulling purrs from Alpine. He sighed to himself but continued to concentrate on petting her as his accelerated heart rate started to come back down. Alpine’s purrs grew louder as she started making biscuits against his thighs, making herself nice and comfy before drifting to sleep in his lap. At least one of us will be able to sleep tonight.

As expected, he didn’t fall back asleep. Instead, Bucky replayed the distant clashing memories over and over in his head until the sun started peeking through the windows. At the break of dawn, he jumped into the shower in hopes of washing the night away. As Bucky stood in the shower, letting the tiny streams of water encase around him, he realized just how much he missed his old life. That version of him and how often his mind drifted to a time where he used to belong. In that moment, he decided he was going to use today to go to his old stomping grounds, reminisce and allow himself to truly grieve that part of his life.

Throwing on a pair of dark wash jeans, a grey T-shirt and a black leather jacket, Bucky locked the door to his apartment and made his way through The Compound. Leaning against the wall near the entrance was Loki, seemingly keeping to himself. He noticed Bucky though as soon as he stalked into view. His skin looked pale, his blue eyes dull and lifeless above the prominent dark circles underneath. Bucky’s nightmares and lack of sleep were something that the team was all too familiar with. They each collectively had their own demons that haunted dark rooms and spoke through the walls in the lonely hours late at night. “Isn’t it just a tad early,” Loki stood to his full height, “to seem this aloof already, James?” Bucky regarded Loki as he kept walking. “Yeah,” his earnest tone matching his gloomy mood as the door automatically opened.

The bright, warm sun was a stark contrast to the cold, dark night that Bucky just had.

Standing at the edge of a small, curved road in the park that overlooked the Brooklyn Bridge, Bucky took in all the sights and sounds. It was strange to him how much the city had evolved and yet, some things were still the same. People passed, not paying him any mind. Friends gossiped over their morning coffee on a nearby bench, the runners attempted to get that last mile in before the day got too hot, couples walked by holding hands, and families pushed large strollers with smiley babies. It all sounded the same, but nothing was as it used to be. The intrusive thoughts felt heavier today as he continued to watch and take it all in, reminiscing about the times he and Steve used to drink beers at the bottom of that very bridge. Or rather, Bucky would try and convince Steve to drink. But he never did. Bucky and his sister used to play in this very park- though it looks different now. It sometimes was still difficult to differentiate what was a memory or a daydream he had conjured up to disassociate.

"Vader!" If he squinted his eyes just enough, he could see where his family's old town home used to stand in the distance before it was bulldozed down. "No! Don't- You're going to make me-" The sound of a heavy thud made Bucky look over his shoulder. On the ground a few feet behind him was a small cardboard box with the top cut off, lying on its side. Scattered all around and halfway in the box, was an assortment of wildflowers. "Damn it, Vader!" An annoyed voice grumbled before sighing heavily.

Giving the apparent mess a once over, Bucky breathed deeply through his nostrils before turning around and taking a knee- putting the box right side up before starting to subtly pick up the flowers. "Sit!" The sound of nails scratching against the asphalt came to a stop, only to be replaced with heavy panting. Bucky glanced over briefly to see a rather large German Shepherd watching proudly as he picked up the flowers. "God, thank you so much for your help! I'm just having one of those days. No thanks to this one here either." The woman's voice sounded slightly exasperated.

"No problem," Bucky replied, trying to look up but the sun blared straight into his eyes, momentarily blocking the person with whom he was speaking. After picking up the last few flowers, he tossed them into the box as he stood up. His height gave him the advantage of no longer having the sun in his face and he finally was able to see the person he's been interacting with. Bucky stops breathing- eyes widening in disbelief. Eleanor. It was her, and yet it wasn't. Her skin was evenly tanned, her golden hair long with a slight wave to it framing her face, dressed in matching yoga pants and sports tank as she clung tightly to the dog’s leash to keep him in place. "I spent my whole morning picking those," she gestured towards the box, "and this lunatic has been dragging me everywhere in between," she explains, embarrassed. Bucky is still staring, just blinking occasionally, skeptical that this is real.

Clearing her throat softly at what she perceived to be awkwardness, she picks up the box. "Thanks again!" she remarked politely, starting to turn away to leave. "W-what-" Bucky started, causing her to hesitate. He took a small step forward, "are those for?" he pointed to the box. It was the first thing that came to his mind, he had to keep her there for just a little while longer. He needed to know more. Smiling as she turned back to face him, Bucky's stomach twisted. It's the same smile. "I'm a teacher and anytime I'm here I grab some for my students," she shrugged nonchalantly. "I can usually come up with some kind of craft or whatever to make use of them." "You're a teacher?" "Mhm! Elementary." Down to the same damned occupation. "You... come here often? With your dog?" Bucky awkwardly motioned towards the German Shepherd. "Oh, um... Well," She laughed. Oh no. He feared that his question made her uncomfortable. "This is Vader," she runs her hand over the dog's head a few times, "but he's not mine. Just watching him for some friends while they're away."

Bucky looks over Vader, the corner of his lips tugging into a small smile before fixating on the woman again. "I'm sorry, " she starts, her eyes narrowing slightly as her head tilts in inquisition, "but do I know you? You just look so familiar..." He swallowed the large lump in his throat, "Uh, no? Nope, I don't think so." "Huh," she muttered to herself, continually examining his blue eyes. Clearing her throat, she holds out her hand "I'm Elena, but my friends call me Ellie." Taking her petite hand in his gloved one, he carefully shakes her hand. "Ellie," Bucky repeats, incredulously. "James, but my friends call me Bucky." "Bucky." Elena mirrors his tone. Her eyes drift down to his chest momentarily, spotting his dog tags. "And you're military?" A small snort escapes as he grins, "former Sergeant in the 107th." "Interesting," Ellie responded, continuing to search his crystal blue eyes as if it would magically reveal as to why she felt magnetized by this man's presence. Looking down, Bucky realized they were still holding onto one another's hand. His eyebrows raised, an amused smile eclipsing his former expression. The pair chuckled once, letting go. "Well," Ellie said, fidgeting with the dog leash in her hands, "It was nice meeting you. Thanks again," her voice sheepish as she shifted the cardboard box under her arm. "Nice meeting you too, Ellie," Bucky agreed. There was something about the way he said her name, how smoothly it rolled off his tongue that just felt so... intimate. Like he did in fact know her. That there was a secret between them that she was dying to know. Giving him a hopeful smile, she turned to walk away- Vader following at her side, "Hope to see you around, Sergeant!" Ellie called over her shoulder, giving a small wave.

Bucky watched Elena walking away, left utterly astounded by the interaction that had just occurred. Two images from two separate times seemed to overlap- Ellie from today, and Ellie with the tight curls and red lips in the yellow polka dot dress. A form of Deja vu. But one thing was for sure, he made it his mission to see her again.

Later that evening at The Compound, Bucky stood at the counter in the kitchen holding a small drinking glass filled with ice and whiskey. The recent encounter from this morning consumed him and all of his thoughts. Which is why he didn’t notice Loki casually walk into the kitchen as well. Loki found this to be peculiar, since Bucky was the type to at least give an acknowledging scowl. “Penny for your thoughts?” Loki inquired, his voice low. Bucky swirled the ice in the glass before peeking up at him, “I had something… strange happen to me today.” “Oh?” “I uh-” Bucky sighed, putting the glass down a little harder than intended. “I swear I bumped into someone from my past. But it makes no sense. She would have to be, what? Over a hundred years old? It was her but it wasn’t her.” His hands expressed the bafflement he felt through their motions.

“You’re over a hundred, James.” Loki reminded. Bucky’s eyes narrowed, “yeah, I know.” He asserted. “But this was different. I don’t know how to explain it.” “Hmm.” Loki hummed to himself, looking over Bucky. Taking a step forward, extending out his hand out, “show me.” “Show you?” Bucky retorted, disgruntled by the question. “And just how would I do that?” Loki grinned, “I was raised by Witches, boy. There are many things I can see that people don’t understand.” Without waiting for an answer, Loki took Bucky’s flesh hand and pressed it flat between his. “What are you-” “Shh!” Loki planted his feet firmly, looking into Bucky’s eyes- which widened with concern. What would Loki see looking into his mind? His memories? Would he recount the same faces and what he’d done to them that haunt Bucky every single night? He suddenly felt overwhelmed with anxiety. Bucky stared back at Loki- his normal cobalt blue eyes started to glow a bright green. “Ah,” Loki breathed, “found it.” Flashbacks of today as well as the carnival shared between the two as a birds-eye view, like watching Bucky’s memories as if they were a movie. “Tell me, James,” Loki smirked while watching the images, “do you know what reincarnation is?” “What? Like being born again?” Bucky spat, feeling ridiculous. Loki laughed, “I’m afraid it’s much more in depth than people think.” Bucky raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to explain further. “Rare is it that one is given such an opportunity.” Loki breathed, astounded.

Rolling his eyes, Bucky sighs, “What the fuck are you even trying to say here, Loki?” “I’m saying,” he kept his voice low, trying to maintain patience, “that this universe somehow deemed you worthy of a second chance… with your soulmate.” “Soulmate?!” Bucky’s voice was loud, incredulous. “I haven’t seen this before,” Loki answered, fascinated at the scenes playing before them, “A soul brought back in the same lifetime to make up for time lost. Destiny can be a finicky thing.” “You’re saying that we were meant to be together all those years ago?” Bucky swallowed hard, his stomach twisting inward on itself. “Yes. And decisions made that weren’t your own affected that outcome. You’ve been given the opportunity to actually live out your true fate.” The eerie green glow faded from Bucky’s eyes as Loki pulled his hands away. He saw many things but decided to only show Bucky what pertained to this conversation. The screams already a sound he knew he wouldn’t forget anytime soon. The two always had a mutual understanding of each other. They typically got along, more so than the rest of the team. Their history often left preconceived tension with people, but they never judged one another. Just themselves. “So,” Bucky scratched the back of his head, “what do I do now?” “You, my friend,” Loki gripped Bucky’s shoulder, “go get a happy ending.”

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[wandasaura]

What are Nat & Wanda’s favorite things to do with R

˚⋆｡°౨ৎ wanda lives in my head as the baking type, so i think she’d have fun with you in the kitchen. she’s never too busy to bake some cookies, or ice a cake, and if you’re lucky she’ll teach you how to make a traditional sokovian dish while telling stories about pietro and her parents. she’s also the reading type when she has the time. you’d lay on her chest, curled up under a blanket, and listen to her read aloud as she twirls your hair around her fingers and scratches down your back. when she gets really into a book her accent starts to come out, and you can’t help but smile with your eyes closed as you picture the scene in your head. if she notices you smiling (which she always does), she’ll boop the tip of your nose and ask what’s so funny, but you’ll always just respond with, “i just love you”, and that usually ends with her pressing kisses to your crown and tickling your sides until your gasping for air and telling her to cut it out. but really any time spent with you is wanda’s favorite thing, so she’s not picky about what the activity is ౨ৎ °｡⋆˚

˚⋆｡°౨ৎ nat knows how much you love to explore the city, so she’ll take you on random tours through parts of new york that you’ve never been before. your first date was in a coffee shop, so without being cheesy and sappy, because she’s definitely neither of those things, she likes to take you to all kinds of cafes she finds and compare their coffee to the first place you’d ever been together. that’s how you found your absolute favorite coffee shop, and on days when she has the time or she just feels like going the extra mile to show you how loved you are, she’ll go out of her way to pick one up for you. but, she’s really much simpler then wanda when it comes to the things she likes to do with you. she likes braiding your hair, and picking out your outfit when you let her, and she absolutely loves sinking into the bath with you after a long day or a tough mission. nats the one you seek out for a fun time if you’re in your headspace, and when you are, she thoroughly enjoys watching movies with you because you spend the entire time chatting her up about every minor detail, and she finds coloring to be therapeutic because there are clear expectations but you can never expect the end result! ౨ৎ °｡⋆˚

[leclerced]

Just a thought on hitman!max and handler!reader...

What if max has never met his handler and only knows her with a specific accent or something (bc handler confidentiality). But she also goes out on missions (because you gotta get that bread ykwim) and they cross paths during a mission and he obviously doesn't realize who she is and she has to save his life because she's so much more experienced than him and he hates that so everytime they see each other he gets more and more pissed and they fuck about it. But after a while he starts suspecting something and he finds out somehow without her knowing and he keeps up the act bc he realises he's in too deep... But one time while she's handling him (lmao) he calls her by her real name and it all implodes and she shows up at his place (that only she knows about) and they fight and have nasty sex because they realise thay've found the only other person in the world that can handle each other's lifestyles...

I just think that would be hot ya know?

waittt this is fun! adding read more for general hitman!max warning.

he's angry that someone intruded on his fight the first time. he'd taken out his target and was out of the building when he bumped into some security, but whoever he's fighting drops dead as a gunshot rings out and he barely catches a glimpse of the mystery woman before she's gone. she lets him catch her, follow her back to a hotel bar where she orders them both a drink and waits for him to approach. she expects him to ask who she is, and gives him a fake name, and he knows it's fake but doesn't press on it right then. he asks why she keeps saving him. she teases him and says he's too pretty to die and it pisses him off because he definitely would not have died, he had it handled. he thinks her voice is familiar but can't place it so he hangs around to hear more, to try and figure out where he knows it from. they end up back in her hotel room and there's a fight for dominance before he has her pinned beneath him and she's begging for his touch.

she's gone when he wakes up and he has a text from his handler asking why he missed his flight, asking if he's okay, why he didn't check in. obviously, she knows exactly why, but she has to play the part of a concerned handler to throw him off her trail. it works, and he doesn't even consider she might be the mystery woman who saved his ass. it happens again a few weeks later on another hit, he's fighting someone and doesn't hear a second person enter the room until a gunshot goes off and the fighting stills for a moment as max and his opponent both search for the source of the shot. there's a dead body in a matching suit to his opponent, and when max turns, he sees the mystery woman with a gun. he briefly worries she's about to kill him but then the second shot goes off and his opponent is dead, the knife he was about to stab into max's ribs clattering on the floor.

reader teases him for getting distracted and he tells her he wouldn't have if she hadn't fired, and she counters that if she hadn't fired the other guy would have and max would be dead. he can't argue with that but he still tells her he had it handled even though he hadn't even noticed the other guy and would most certainly be dead like she said. they escape together and he tries asking why she's there and she tells him she was just saving his ass again, which bruises his ego because he certainly does not like being the damsel in distress.

she tells him her name after he finally saves her ass, he wasn't even on a job, just visiting someone in the city, but by pure coincidence he stumbles upon her, escaping the building he's residing in. he helps her take out the goons and she's just like him, adamant that she had it handled even though there were three men twice her size surrounding her. he tries to ask what she was doing there, but she won't tell him unless he tells her why he's there. she thought he was in italy and now he's in new york? she hasn't given him any work so she really has no clue what he's doing there and it bothers her that he won't tell her and she shouldn't tell him she's there to take someone out, no one is supposed to know and max catching her complicates things. she should kill him for it, because he's a loose end and if he's here then it means he just might be allied to whoever she took out in some way. but she can't do that.

she makes him promise not to tell anyone she was there, and he only agrees if she tells him her name. she panics and gives her real name, because if she gives any of her codenames he'll recognize it. there's no way he knows her real name. he agrees not to tell anyone he saw her, and keeps his word and stays silent the next morning when his host is freaking out about one of his superior officers being taken out in the dead of the night and no evidence left behind. he knows it was her, the mystery woman, and wonders what she was doing the night before.

it's awhile later that he connects the dots, she says something he's heard her say after fucking once and he calls her by her name before he can stop himself. the call immediately disconnects and he knows he's massively fucked up. he doesn't hear from her until hours later, there's a banging at his door and he's convinced she sent someone to kill him. max opens the door to find her, and relaxes a little but keeps his guard up because he thinks she might still kill him for what he knows.

she's just angry he used her name on an unsecured line and gives him an earful about it, about being reckless, asking if he wants to get them killed and he interrupts her by kissing her and while she's stunned into silence he apologizes for it, says he wasn't thinking and asks if he can make it up to her. she wants the power, she's still angry about her using her real name, but he won't give it up for her because he likes being in control, he loves the way she can take control from him but he's not used to being out of control so he takes it back each time.

they have to talk afterwards, and she apologizes for not telling him who she was in the beginning and she comes clean about all the extra jobs she does, how she's not just his handler and explains why she was in each of the cities performing her own odd jobs while he was performing hits for her, admitting that sometimes she used him as a distraction while she performed her job then stumbled across him and decided to interrupt it and make him leave with her because her job was done.

[sl-newsie]

My Review of 92sies

Gotta remember this was made in the 90s by the classic Disney intro! 😄

Thank you Max for the great intro monologue! ‘Thank you Max, for that marvelous introduction!’ Hocus Pocus, anyone?

Gotta appreciate how much they were able to make a crammed set look like New York

Oh. My. God! Shirtless Mush is sooo cute! 😍 

No wonder Skittery’s always angry- I’d be too if I was woken up early. 😤

Not even 5 minutes in and Jack’s called Cowboy  🤠

Where was Kloppman in Livesies? Really, where? 

I wanna know how all the newsies characters were created. Was someone reading A Christmas Carol and was like ‘yes, we need teenage Tiny Tim!’

I noticed they have the same audio of the kid yelling ‘c’mon move it! move it!’ later at the end.

Why did they cut out the ‘takes a smile as sweet as butter?’ bit?

Aw Race does the sign of the cross! Is he Catholic?

At first I was confused about the woman singing in the background but over time I feel that she brings the idea that not all the newsies are orphans 

Sorry but Race backing up from being threatened by a stick is hilarious 

Jack is so much calmer in this version! No more angry Jack

Awww! Les is so cuuute! The way he just stares at Jack while he’s running is priceless 😊

Race and Jack show more friendship chemistry in the first 10 minutes than Jack and Race in Livies during the whole show

Already 92sies Les is so much better 

It’s really hard to not picture Jack as Batman

Half the movie is watching all-a the newsies reactions in the background! 

Headlines don’t sell papes, newsies sell papes- the entire plot summed up in one sentence. 🗞️

Properly shows how the newsies respect a lady by them removing their hats

‘What’s that deafening noise?’ Uh, that’s your employees doing their job? 

I feel sorry for the guy shaving that Snider just shoves to the side when he runs up the stairs.

LUV Medda’s getup! All of it! Anne-Margret is so good! The way she talks to Les is so cute!

I have spotted the teleporting ventriloquist dummy guy!

I personally don’t ship Javid, but 92sies shows much better chemistry between Jack and David than Livesies.

‘Then you’ll be a real cowboy!’ ‘Yeah.’ What about a painter? Now where would you ever get that idea? 🤠🧑‍🎨

So it’s raining while they’re having dinner, then it stopped when they're on the fire escape, and the ground is dusty enough so when Jack does his Santa Fe ‘dance’ he doesn’t get all muddy? Huh.

Only thing about Sarah is that I feel her New York accent could’ve been better.

I wanna know who made the birthday cake. One of the cast or crew maybe?

I prefer Christian’s daydreamy version of Santa Fe. 🏜️

I’d like know what the people in the street are thinking, like ‘what the heck is this guy randomly singing?’

The streetlights make 92sies at night seem like a very cozy atmosphere

Why did they cut out the scene of Christian using a lasso? Learning how to use a lasso was a big deal for him!

What ever happened to the horse Jack technically stole?

Race and Jack’s friendship never gets old!

Pulitzer’s calculation behavior is… weird. Also why is he imitating Tevye’s If I Were A Rich Man dance?

Ok, we need a class where every newsie is pointed out and named so everyone knows who they are

What are the pedestrians thinking when the newsies start singing?

You’re a leader! Here Jack, have a stick! Now break it!

‘Em-bastards!’

Hey it’s Lone Star in a bowler hat! 

Now I want to use ‘hoity toity’ every day.

Yeessss! BROOKLYN! But where can I find the music if it’s not in the soundtrack?! 🌉

‘I spent a month there one night.’ Uh what does that mean, Boots?

Why is Spot Colon’s slingshot never brought up in Livesies?

Ok when I first watched this I didn’t know what to expect from Spot Colon but I remember that as soon as I saw him I had a crush on him instantly. 🥰

People always make fun of Spot’s height, whether it be 92sies or Livesies. But being a short person myself and knowing other short people I can honestly say that short people definitely can be scary! Seriously I’ve scared more people than I can count even if I don’t mean to, so imagine Spot Colon intentionally trying to be scary! To quote Yoda: ‘size matters not!’ Spot Colon could kick everyone’s ass if he wanted!

I luv how all the other Brooklyn newsies are just waiting intimidatingly in the background for Spot to either give the all clear or the o-k to soak Davey.

How did numerous fan theories about Spot’s key get started? 🗝️

Seize the Day is on fire! I luv the quick footwork and acro work in the confined space even though the dance number could’ve been held in a bigger area.

Where did the newsies get tomatoes to throw at Wiesel? 🍅

How long did it take to clean up the torn newspapers after they got done filming that scene?

Huh, Jack actually cares enough to try to break Crutchy out? Also how does nobody notice Jack casually standing around with a rope?

It’s cute how Les and the younger newsies made homemade drums!

‘Never fear, Brooklyn is here!’ Oh my God yeessss! 😆

It’s over, Weasel! Brooklyn has the high ground! Star Wars, anybody?

The newsies picture looks like what every attempt at a family picture looks like, with everybody scattered and looking at different places.

King of New York, still my favorite! The way they had all these guys in this tiny room with all these tables, and yet still pull off a decent dance number! Just wow.

Crutchy your positivity is contagious, even though sometimes you gotta learn when to be sad.

Jack how on Earth can you fall asleep on a fire escape?

Nice rooftop backdrop! Wonder if Jack painted it… 🎨🤔😆

Jack still wants to leave, but at least on the rooftop he explains how he’s not used to growing roots anywhere and actually asks Sarah if she cares.

‘...others who would dare to leeee!’ What, Pulitzer?

I luv how the newsies dress up for the rally!  Even though they’re poor they still know when to act ‘proper.’ Also Spot, you look great! ���

Seeing Medda dance with all the is always fun to watch, especially with Blink and Race completely fawning over her.

Why is it that Davey and Spot immediately see that Denton’s pointing out Snyder but it takes Davey yelling in Jack’s face for him to see it? 

Typical Race to gamble with a judge 🃏

They really make us hate Snyder. Even if you don’t like Jack (don’t know how someone could but whatever), you really feel bad for him when Snyder takes him back to the Refuge. 😣

How in the world does nobody notice the newsies hiding out around the refuge or when Davey rides on the back of the carriage? There’s cops literally 10 feet from them and they still don’t see a group of kids?

Even when Jack’s yelling he’s still less angry then Jeremy’s angry Jack.

All the Refuge gives you to sleep on is a rusty bed frame? Ouch!

‘We was beat when we was born.’ Yikes Jack got some dark thoughts. 😳

It doesn’t take going through a whole day sulking and getting yelled at by Katherine for 92sies Jack to change his mind, it only takes the Delancys beating up the Jacobs for him to finally say no. 

Once And For All is catchier than the Livesies version

I like how they show all the different kids at odds and ends jobs, as well as how some kids back then didn’t know how to read.

Only thing is I wish they would’ve talked about the details with the deal with Pulitzer

Sarah doesn’t need to beg Jack to stay, Jack figures it out that he needs to stay.

Jack, how can you leave? You’re making Les cry! 😖😭

Now Mush is looking cute next to a lamppost 😍

I’m hearing the audio from the beginning!

Yes, Jarah is a relationship I can tolerate! It’s not toxic or annoying, and they don’t look like they wanna kill each other every scene.

Spot riding away in the carriage is perfect! ‘By, Spot!’ 🥰

Overall I’d want to know what the original newsies would think of this. I mean just imagine the ones from 1899 watching this and thinking ‘I don’t think we ever did this much singing and dancing.’

And now to take a moment for the 92sies who did not make it into Livesies: Snipeshooter, Boots, Bumlets, PieEater, Snoddy, Itey, Snitch, Swifty, Jake, Dutchy, Skittery, Snaps, Tumbler, and Flipper. They will be missed. Instead they will be replaced by new newsies that are far more stupid and annoying, but on the bright side are very good dancers. 😔

I feel like 92sies isn’t talked about as much because it’s more dated and not as recent. When people mention that current stars like Ben Cook are in Livesies then everyone talks about it like it’s the best thing since sliced bread. But when people say Christian Bale is in 92sies then they just say ‘oh yeah, he’s Batman’ and just leave it at that. Just because 92sies doesn’t have the A+ Broadway dancing doesn’t mean it’s not a good musical,

[violentdevotion]

my personal ranking

i cant do rankings im too partial for that but my opinion on your opinions

jeff buckley sang like rent was due! if jeff buckley covered your song it's not your song anymore its his and also you're gonna think about it at sunrise for the rest of your life. he had to die before the indie folk girlie's (gn) entered the scene otherwise there'd be carnage.

I hadn't heard bettye lavettes cover before but I love it. I didnt think I would at first but I love what she did to the song. its really amazing when artists aren't afraid to play with the pacing or rhythm of a song they're covering especially in tandem with how she altered the lyrics too. cunt indeed.

i can believe we are augustine truly love and miss the mama in question but I hate what they did to the word me 1:19 seconds in. it's a good cover but it's just that. doesn't radicalise or change it much it's just a good cover ! no shame in that !!

bob dylan voice. godbless joan for being there, yes girl give us something !!!! also I like hearing the audience laugh, some soul. its also fun bc it's such a,,,, I don't wanna say sad but you know what I mean, nostalgic(?) melancholic (?) song it's fun to hear it more upbeat and tempo and hearing them have fun as they do it

bob dylan voice but he wrote the songs so whatever ig

rod was singing as if he was reading the lyrics on a scrap of paper as he went. boring. uninspired.

ITS THE VOWELS !!!! i love a good scouse accent. anyone who knows me knows I love a good fucking accent. you garble your vowels and i want you but not like this george!!!!! you know that annoying tiktok voice filter that warps your voice, george harrison luv.

extra

jack johnson - so embarrassing I actually dig it. i like how the guitar sounds. does it kinda sound like some guy at a party pulling out his guitar? yeah? and it's working on me, sorry. but then he starts singing smth else.

joan baez - godbless her. we need more women to cover it. the speed in which she sings it though.

johnny cash - 😔 idk why he started at the end and he changed colour of the sun caught flat to dark dark night. im not feeling it. just discarded the best parts of the song

ricky nelson- whatever

[castle-dominion]

c4x14 the blue butterfly THIS EPISODE IS SO GOOD I WAS SO HAPPY THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED IT & I WATCHED THE AUDIO COMMENTARY & NOW I GET TO LIVEBLOG IT IDK IF I'LL BE ABLE TO GET THROUGH THE EPISODE TODAY BC IT IS THAT GOOD I WILL HAVE TO PAUSE IT AFTER EVERY LINE I SWEAR

Starting off sexy af, love the music love the costuming (even tho 40s colours were not ideal) love the singing love TJ/LP/BS love everything about this ugh I am dying & I have played maybe five seconds of the episode Ugh the way they talk mmmm I remember when I first watched casablanca & then it was ages until I had the chance to see double indemnity (which actually takes place 10y before this but shush) & heck the way we start off in the middle with castle/JF doing the investigation mmmmjsfhkjhdsjfs it's just sooo good so good so good. "I'm lookin at her" hhhh their eyes meet across the bar aaaaah this is so good.

You know before they flashed forward I thought this might have just been an AU.

Love this fellow's outfit she's so new york. Is ship coming in a figure of speech? We've heard it before. Does it just mean they are coming into money or getting something good like a job promotion? JE: Well, if you can remember anything else, can you please give me a call? SRO manager: Don’t hold your breath, hot shot. *walks out* KR: I think she likes you.

Banks: [we last spoke] Two months ago, which is crazy, ‘cause there was a time we couldn’t go two hours without talking. Glad s2 rysposito aren't here bc espt would make fun of ryan for calling jenny sm. Maybe he was an entomologist. Yo stan owes someone A Lot of money

KR: Just a bunch of books about mobsters and Manhattan in the ‘40s. Castle should read them. he'd probs enjoy them & he's a speedreader too. Ooh the diary! RC: Uh, this diary in Stan’s stuff, it’s also from the ‘40s. It sounds like it belonged to a private eye. Listen to this. “Usually wives turn on the waterworks when shown pictures of their husbands stepping out, but not this dame. She wanted payback. So what’s worse, that I pitched woo with a client, or that I invoiced her for services rendered after?” espt sounds so good when he uses the term "right on" I like it RC: Um, Beckett? Can I take this home for the night? I mean, it might be the key to what Stan was looking for. KB: You just want to read it because you think it’s cool. RC: Yeah, well, that, too. KB: Okay, just so long as…you… [Castle is already walking off with it.] KB: Bring it back in the morning.

Mmm music, old diaries, this is so good. I love the transition bc I could hardly tell what with the VO & the bourbon. Joe Flynn/Rick Castle: So, I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone with a little hair of the dog that bit me. What does that mean?

Oh Martha/Florence Kennard I love! Ugh the outfit the coat the accents & vernacular mmm! The way the characters have a bit of their counterparts in them is so good. Kennard is just enough like martha & susan sullivan can play her so well

How did you know it would change your life? When are you writing this diary? Is it the evening after today or is it days later or what? After the case entirely? Picture of map of manhattan in the 40s. Oh that accent is... something. Gosh alexis is a baby how is she a married woman? hhhhh I can't say everything I love abt it "my shingle" Was her name really vera mulqueen? Was sally's maiden name sally mulqueen? *dabs her eyes* $15 in 1940 is worth $325.85 today or at the time, what 2012? $245.99 in 2012. That much a day plus expenses, hoo that's a lot Ugh the costumes, the acting, the preproduction... JF/RC: Looking at that photograph, all I could think was… Me: Hot dang? JF/RC: what a beautiful doll.

Ugh the scenes of the city jjghhjkfhghg

I KNOW THAT GUY HE IS MR SCOFFIELD I THINK, FORSHADOWING OMG Satchmo Besty Sinclair <3 ugh she sings so well. & I love this music & I love dancing but I do better with big band music I think. I would loooove to dance there. Shrapnel in my hip? From ww2? Well I love how we get to learn about So Much of the character but it is only mentioned in passing. He is such a big character but we only get these little pieces of him & it was just one mention of shrapnel but it tells us a lot about his character. She's pretty af! & you can see dempsey there in the background. gorillas lmao is that what you called your henchmen back then? You got it boss. RC/JF (V.O.): What was I thinking? This dame was trouble on two legs. I kept telling myself to look away. [A tough-looking man steps up next to Beckett/Vera.] RC/JF (V.O.): She was with Tom Dempsey, for crying out loud – the most ruthless mob boss New York has ever given birth to. [Beckett/Vera kisses Dempsey on the cheek.] Ooh his outfit! RC/JF (V.O.): Dempsey sent over two of his gorillas – an Irishman and a Cuban on loan from some Havana mob family. You can loan henchworkers? [Ryan/irishman and Esposito/cuban tough-walk over to Castle at the bar.] Esposito looks almost normal but ryan looks way out there. KR/Moxie: The boss wants to see you, boy-o. Ooh that accent tho. (my canadian ass first thought "newfie" lol but they say bo'y not bowy or they even say b'y) RC/JF: Sorry, boys. My dance card’s full. JE/Cuban: This isn’t a request, compadre. *shows his gun* That accent too They get to have fun & play other characters. But the characters are not too far off. Their ties too btw, wowie

& the music! Audio mirroring! RC/JF: The waiter? I’ll take a whiskey. The boys here can share a sloe gin fizz. LMAO Great fight scene! Going to clip that for sure! Words cannot describe how I feel about this. (noo not the kitchen! ugh the way he picks him up) & ngl that booty as he throws him into the alley? Nice.

RC, probably not what JF actually said: You should see what my face did to the other guy’s fist. Vera/KB is wearing the fur over her neck entirely. Covering up the goods. Que passando? I speak french not spanish but is that "what's going on?" like "what has passed?" Doesn't put the tapped R before the D, yeah lol. Ah finally revelas the necklace!

Woah that was kind of jarring to jump back to present day but heck yeah! RC: The Blue Butterfly. It’s a necklace. That’s why Stan Banks was killed. Why am I narrating? Because you were just imagining this guy's day while reading his narration & bc it's what hot girls do. u never talk to yourself? ig it is different from narrating...

OMG WHAT A SEXY INTRO THERE

Ok so what I know from acting is from the moment you hit the set you need to use your accent, you cannot just slip it on & off easy so filming the ryan parts & the henchone parts must have been, well, something. Gosh I can't believe we only get one audio commentary of this ep. I want more, more I say! Also I like ryan's patterned red tie & red vest but that striped shirt? The only reason it's ok is bc he is mostly covering it with the vest. It has red stripes. He has a lot of buttons on the sleeves of his jacket. American flag lapel pin today. With smth else ig. Ooh blue diamonds. I miss when blue diamonds were sexy & white diamonds were just there. RC: *passes his papers to ryan* KR: *shows it to Beckett as if castle didn't already hold em up for her to see*

RC: Turns out the Blue Butterfly disappeared sometime in the ‘40s, and rumor has it, it’s hidden somewhere in The Pennybaker Club. If he found it…a million dollar-necklace? Talk about motive for murder. By the way, Ryan, say “boy-o.” [meaning he really was imagining these people in these positions] KR: *looks up from the papers castle gave him* Boy-o. RC: “Boy-ohhh.” KR: Boy-o. RC: “Boy-o.” KR: Boy-o. RC, accented: “Boy-o.” KR: Boy—O. ??? *looks to beckett* [they go back to talking about the case & rick doesn't get nazi gold but SS officer diamonds which is the same thing. Cursed necklaces? stealing stuff from nazis? mob bosses? this is right up castle's alley.] KB: Okay, Ryan, you see if you can get a hold of the bookie. Castle and I will go back to the crime scene. KR: Okay. RC: Boy-o' KR: Boy-o RC: Boy-o' KR: Boy-O RC: Like a leprechaun. KR, with an angry "ew" face: Castle! RC: Sorry.

RC: Can you blame the guy? I mean, she was gorgeous. Castle how do you know? You are reading it not seeing it. You are imagining beckett there. I was too caught up in the story to think about the "animosity back home" they kept saying Castle is so right. Minor hidden safe, very hidden secret safe. I love how castle insists on telling the story to get to the part abt the safe. RC: Well, people didn’t waste time back in the ‘40s

Oh gosh look at her dress... lmao the transition

KB: Did you just say, “Kate”? Are you picturing the P.I. as you, and me as the gangster’s moll? RC: What? No. And I didn’t say “Kate”. I said “Fate”. “Fate’s heart quickened.” I was being poetic. (chuckles nervously) God. Anyway, as I was saying, they were just about to kiss when… Why not just read from the diary & say the PI was being poetic? Maybe she would read it & call him out tho. Or ig he was reciting from memory

Oh I love the collar on Esposito/Cuban Henchone rn! Raises his fists like that lol & then Besty/Lanie saves the day & gosh that is a good kiss. "mixed laundry" XP Betsie/Lanie almost sounds normal lol

Two Brunos? Interesting word. Well they are not here right now actually so...??? So you became the girl of a mob boss to wear his jewelry? That's it? That's the reason?

KB & me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S IT? I'M NOT ONLY INTERESTED IN THE SAFE I'M ALSO INTERESTED IN THE STORY. btw I like her coat with that red scarf it's v pretty. KB: Well, why would you tell a story when you don’t know the ending? RC: If you wanted a beginning and a middle and an end, I have 27 novels you can choose from. XD

Ray Horton: Stan? And who— who killed him? KR: JE: RH: Me? Why would I kill my business partner? 10g for a diary?

RC: So, I traced the diary. Stan did his research. He purchased it from the granddaughter of Joe’s old secretary, a woman by the name of Ruth Huntsacker. Ah that's where the diary came from KB: Look, Castle, I admit that Joe and Vera’s story is fun and romantic, but whatever happened back in 1947 has nothing to do with who murdered Stan. RC: Uh… (chuckles) I’m not so sure about that. Our bookie alibied out. But ballistics came in, and we got a match. The .38 caliber revolver that killed Stan was used in an unsolved double homicide…in 1947. WOAH NOW THIS IS GOOD. This is so so sexy. Ok so vera mulqueen is her name so sally scoville probably made that mistake when meeting joe flynn on purpose.

RC: Murdered. That’s too bad. I really thought those two crazy kids were gonna make it. KB: Yeah, not exactly the ending I was hoping for. RC: I didn’t even know ballistics went back that far. Me, who watches murdoch mysteries: Oh ho ho! The man also invented blood types & fingerprints & tape & silly putty & (he didn't actually invent any of this he's a fictional character) KB: You know what? I bet you Dempsey caught the two of them trying to run away together, and he killed them. But how does Stan’s killer get Dempsey’s gun sixty years later? KR: Unless Dempsey killed Stan. He’d be, what, like 90 years old? But it’s still possible. RC: Couldn’t have been Dempsey. He died of a heart attack four months after Joe and Vera were killed. KR: Ah. RC: Still…we should dig up that 1947 police report. There could be something in there about the gun that could shed some light on Stan’s murder. KR, resigned: All right. I’ll go to the warehouse and I’ll pull up the old case files. RC: Oh, wai- oh, uh…I want to go. KR: ? *looks to becks* KB: *shrugs* KR: Uh…okay. RC: Can I drive? KR: I don’t care. RC: OwO!!! Espt always make ryan take passenger & beckett never lets castle drive so this is fun. But is it a police car or a personal one? bc castle is probs not allowed to drive if it is a police car.

Belasco is pretty for an old guy. Watercrafter lookin dude.

Someone else accessed your police files? Nice location u got here. Different place to film in. RC: Damn it, Joe. You old sap. Dizzy with a dame and got yourself cooked. KR: So, Mr Bogart, what exactly are we looking for here?

CB: Of course not. When I asked to see the alleged diary, he refused, and yet, he wanted access to all my research on The Pennybaker Club. I mean, really, the whole thing was absurd. Yeah that is kind of rude...

Esposito's hair is... interesting. Short but long enough that he brushes it & parts it.

KR: It feels like we’re looking for a needle in a haystack, except for, we can’t find the haystack. RC: Who needs a haystack when the needle is right here? Wait I just realized-- where did they get that previous photo of tom dempsey?? Wait nvm it was in castle's internet search along with the initial photo of the blue butterfly

Love the transitions "Hatchet men" lol Doyle, my nova scotian uncle has that last name. Lots of scottish & irish immigrants there obv. It's like newfoundland but less intense. Then PEI is like nova scotia #2. RC/JF: So every clover-loving Irishman worth his salt will be huddled around a radio tonight, cheering good ol’ Jimmy on. You’re gonna wait till a rousing part of the fight. Then you’re gonna excuse yourself. Whoever’s assigned to be watching you surely won’t be paying much attention. That’s when you slip right out the back door, where I’ll be waiting for you. that's way too easy. No way theyre going to let that happen But hey they are both so good looking. JF/RC: Look at me. I’m a new man. I’m a better man. I haven’t even had a drink since I met Vera, Girl it's been like a week. Then again for someone who consistently drank himself to sleep in his office, maybe this is a miracle. What if she doesn't have a sister HA I WAS RIGHT

KR, with his cheek in his hand, listening: What happens next? [btw I like his wedding ring, it's rly pretty. & also I love seeing it, he is In Love.] RC: I don’t know. That’s the end of the statement. KR: But if Sally wasn’t Vera’s sister, then who was she? [I love how castle is getting everyone invested in this story] RC: Sally set up the P.I. It’s a classic film noir twist. KR: But whhhy? RC: I don’t know. :D KR: What was Sally up to? [Ryan he only knows as much as you do! He may be a writer but you are a detective] RC: I don’t know. :D KR: Do you think she was connected to Dempsey? *takes the file* RC: I don’t know, :D but isn’t this great? KR: KR: *double take from castle to the file to castle*

YESS THE ADVENT OF WEST SIDE WALLY At least espt excuses himself before taking the call. That's the polite thing to do. Becks sharing the file with some other detective there. the little things make the show

Man has a wedding ring... WOAH TOM DEMPSEY Nice outfit! the makeup team possibly could have done a bit more to make him look related to tom dempsey not genetically identical to him imo but whatever that's just me Wait no maybe they did do enough about it I think. it's good.

So how do you know his real name was stan? Pillar in the community...? Oh guest book at betsy's funeral, that's how he figured it out. TD: No, I did not—I did not shoot him. Stan—Wait. Stan did find it? KB: Come on. You tell us. TD: I don’t know. I was not there! "was not" rather than "wasn't" I like it

Ok espt what are you wearing? Today you are wearing a dress shirt & a tie which is nice (if different from your frequent pyjama look) but grey on grey with THOSE greys does not work bud.

Ah good grammar <3 Jerry Maddox was the old bartender??? (But ik how this goes, why would he sign his name that way in the guest book?) JE: Good job, Castle. RC, like a puppy: Yeah? JE: .. Yeah.

The med guy calls him jerry too. I see. Aw she offers homemade soup <3 Beautiful blue eyes on this man, love the old music too. JM: but I was just a bartender back then What did you become later then?

Ooh interesting, he says: Of course. It was a big deal back then. Dempsey, the fella that owned the club, shot them in cold blood. So confirming the story But then when rick asks: The same year, do you remember a woman named Sally Scofield? She was a redhead. In 1947, she would’ve been about 18. JM looks really confused like he doesn't know her. Which would make sense for Jerry Maddox, but he looks overly confused bc he is JF trying not to reveal that he, well, you know.

Gina? Ooh different person narrating! Except... not really a different person narrating ; ) Drops the pretty girl for a new, younger, pretty girl. Ew. Then again she was there bc she wanted to wear his bling RC: & Sally? JM: Couple months after, uh, Vera and that P.I. got whacked, Dempsey died of a heart attack. RC: (yea I asked abt sally bro) JM: The evening of his funeral, in walks Sally, all dressed up. Ordered a whiskey neat, slammed it back, gave me a big ol’ crocodile grin, said she was free. Then she strutted on out the door, and that’s the last time I ever saw her. Interesting claim... it's a revenge story. It would be SO good from the other point of view, you're in the hold of a mobster & then he dumps your mom for the younger prettier thing & mum kills herself with pills bc this pretty girl wanted bling & your mob daddy wanted a pretty girl so you kill the pretty girl & probably kill the mobster too? That would be good except we know it didn't happen like that & it ends up a tragedy. RC: Somehow she used the P.I. to do it. JM: >:(

KR, pink shirt no tie, cute af as usual: So…West Side Wally. May I call you Wally? WSW: I prefer West Side. I LOVE HIM SM WSW: Whoa. Cagney and Lacey, [XD] you can stop right there. I wasn’t living in the club two days ago. I had already gotten bought out by the other guy. [but u leave your sleeping bag & stuff?] KR: Bought out? JE: By the other guy? yeah babes that's what he said. I love west side, he's great.

No he cannot do his show from prison b'y Oh & again he looks good he has nice style too. Bull whip. That's cool ig. lol so dramatic holding his hand as he says stan was holding the necklace Sure bestie.

Wasn't it so that she could kill vera or smth but dempsey did it for her so she ended up faking his heart attack instead & she killed the one who stole her mother's spot & the man who dumped her mom? Except wait why would maddox only see her in 1946? Maybe that's when he started idk. Do you trust what a man has to say abt shoes? Also there are many pairs of shoes, they could have both had those shoes... except then you said she'd be wearing heels. RC: Beckett, I just realizes something. KB: ? RC: "I Can't Give You Anything But Love." KB: ???? Ouh louis armstrong Satchmo! But listen maybe he played this club many times & that's why they BOTH fell in love with his music.

the fear on their faces when they get called by their old names <3 so good (sad)

He really really sounds like Castle's Joe Flynn when he says: Lady, you got it all wrong. WHOA THE MED AIDE? Huntsacker? His mom sold the diary. Her gramma was mrs kennard. He's back here after all this time. yk that's a good point. He is gently being a spy but then some other guy bullies them lol. But for how long were these two pretending to be the bartender? Frankie Benjamin Huntsacker the aide called him jerry earlier when the detectives came to talk.

"Bushwhack" lol

GASP THE BLUE BUTTERFLY Ugh the MUSIC tho! *casually touches it with his hands* How much of it was paste? Apparently the one they actually made was made of blue sapphires & they auctioned it off for charity. There are plenty of minerals that you can use in place of diamonds. Moissanite & white sapphires are both subs for diamonds. I'm sure blue sapphires can replace blue diamonds, except blue diamonds are typically not as coloured as a good quality blue sapphire.

Joe you said that any irishman worth his salt would be around the radio, not the cuban & mob boss too. I can't believe dempsey let her go but ig he was focussing on the fight. Hoo that leg The ice? Oh the bling, the diamonds Oof she just killed lenny! Yeah Sally was totally a victim! That's sooo cool they just ran away & burned the bodies & UGH THAT'S SO GOOD I'VE BEEN WANTING TO LEARN HOW TO LIGHT A MATCH ON MY THUMB FOR YEARS They probably lied tbh... You know, didn't want to get caught for a murder they did so many years ago, they did not struggle for the gun & have it accidentally go. Girl it is not up to YOU to decide. Tho I do like your decision. JF: We don't know how to thank you RC: I do Ok but here's the thing, how would they get by without the money they were going to get from this thing? Also hold on didn't this guy have a fake? The writer believes it was always a fake, castle believes it was switched out back in the 20s, Jerry & Viola (Joe & Vera) seem to think that they hid the BB but Frankie got his hands on a fake... idk I KNEW the brick would be a thing! Oh the music <3 RC/JF: Let the bastard spend the rest of his life not knowing his prized possession is right under his nose. Love <3 <3 <3 woah that dog! Tell them it was fake or tell them someone found it? The way he pulls her in like that <3 ALWAYS <3 <3 <3 How did they make it without the money from the BB tho? That's why they concocted this plan in the first place Weird ending but So Good I love it! ugh too good! Brilliant!

I am going to transcribe the audio commentary I swear.

this episode is one of my faves & I know I say that abt a lot but DANG this one was golden! So freaking good! So Freaking Good!

[venxmedina]

even though it was a friday, it still felt like a monday to the raven haired girl. the week had dragged on like no other, and she was starting to really feel all of the missed hours of her precious beauty sleep. “what’s a girl gotta do to get a decent cup of coffee around here?” venice asked with a frustrated sigh, plopping the mug she had used down onto the counter before walking out of the malnati break room. “i swear, not even my hundred dollar eye cream is saving me from these less than designer eyebags,” she pointed to her face in a dramatic fluster, “tell me you’ve got a solution or something before i lose it, honey.”

[strangestdrabbles]

Chaotic Dads

A/N: so i had this all written last night and then lost half of it so i had to rewrite it but that’s okay because it was so fun to write. i had an amazing time with this imagine and i hope that it is as much fun to read as it was for me to write :-) also also this is the longest imagine i’ve written so i’m proud of that :-)

Pairing: Reddie (Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak) x Daughter!Reader

If there was only one word that Y/N had to describe living with her dad’s Richie and Eddie, it would be chaotic. 

Only on the night Y/N got back from her study group, walking through the doors of her home, there was no chaotic shouting and laughing, no Eddie admonishing Richie for another poor attempt at a British accent. It was silence and hushed whispers, more stressed on Eddie’s side while there was more silence on Richie’s.

“I can’t believe MIke called us. What does he think we’re going to do? Go back to Derry?” 

Richie ran a hand through his hair, both men not noticing Y/N walk into the room and stand in the doorway. 

“God I feel fucking nauseous.” 

“Dad, are you okay?” 

Eddie turned his head first, looking at Y/N like a deer caught in headlights, Richie slowly turning his head after; looking a little gray faced. 

“O-Oh yeah I’m good kid.” 

Y/N nodded slowly, looking skeptical but deciding against saying anything. 

“Well is everything okay?” 

Eddie started to ring his hands before running his hands over his face. 

“U-Um yeah it’s good.” 

 Y/N nodded before looking around.

“So…” 

Both men looked at her confused because of the coy way she had her hands behind her back, rocking back and forth on her heels. 

“So?” 

“Where is Derry and why does it have you both stressed?”

The couple looked at each other, fear slowly seeping through their bloodstream.

+++

Y/N sat in the back seat as Richie drove, Eddie sitting in the passenger seat, the spectacle clad man gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles were white while passing the sign that read ‘Welcome To Derry’. 

The sound of the radio created a soft hum as the wind whipped through the ajar windows, providing a soft sliver of fresh air to combat the suffocating interior of the car. 

“So where are we going?” Y/N asked, taking her headphones out and pausing her music, taking in how Eddie and Richie looked at each other. 

“T-To um meet up with some old friends.” Eddie whispered, feeling a ball well up in his throat that was about to bring on hyperventilation but then he felt fingers intertwine with his; Richie smiling while he kept his eyes on the road. 

“I didn’t know you two had friends.” 

Richie laughed properly for the first time since he got the call from Mike, feeling some of the fear alleviating from his chest. 

“Ha ha that’s very funny Y/N.” Eddie spoke, his voice deadpan but the humor was evident. 

“Also why are we in Derry? I didn’t even know this place existed.” 

Richie cleared his throat, uncomfortable memories coming back of Henry calling his homophobic slurs and the sadness of pushing down who he truly was washed over his in staggers. 

“Well you see mah dear, Derry is the bees knees.” 

Richie’s accent couldn’t be placed and it made Y/N roll her eyes but a smile couldn’t be held back.

“Beep beep Richie.” 

+++

Richie pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and after turning off the car just sat there with Eddie, both looking at each other with a fear that was palpable, Y/N feeling it fill the car and wash over her. 

“Dads? Are we all good to go in?” 

The sound of their daughter’s voice brought them out of their shared terrified memories, turning in unison to face Y/N before Richie smiled and nodded. 

“Let’s get in there.” 

“Your New York accent is terrible dad.” 

Eddie laughed as Richie rolled his eyes playfully. 

“I thought I was getting better.”

Y/N laughed while getting out of the car, Richie and Eddie following shortly after and there was a moment of calm before Eddie grabbed Richie’s hand for stability; Y/N pulling her jumper closer around her as the night air seemed colder. 

“Are we sure this is a good idea?” Eddie asked, his hand coming to grip Richie’s shirt to ground himself. 

Before Richie could push down the fear to be able to answer, Y/N spoke up from across the parking lot in a tone of faux annoyance.

“Are you two coming or what?” 

The pair look at each other, sharing a look and a still moment before turning to look at Y/N, both of them nodding and starting to walk over. 

“I don’t know why we agreed to do this?” 

Eddie’s rhetorical question came out as a whisper as the trio walked through the door, Y/N going first and heading straight to a small fish tank. The sound of excited conversation and constantly moving cutlery eased the older men’s minds for a moment, focusing hard to not fall into the fear that was clinging at their peripherals; Eddie was shocked that Richie hadn’t tried to fill the silence between the two with unfunny quips and awkward humor. 

Eddie stepped forward then and wrapped his arms around Richie’s waist, wanting to hold him and do his best to ground the spectacle clad man. It seems to work as Richie pressed a soft and loving kiss to the crown of the shorter man’s head. 

“Whatcha lookin at ova there?” 

Y/N turned around and put her hands in her pockets, tilting her head and one of her dads and smiled.

“I was just checkin’ out dem fishes pops.” 

Richie laughed at the attempted New York accent, the low rumble in his chest comforting Eddie immensely.

“You really have to work on that accent darling.” 

Y/N laughed while rolling her eyes.

“I would’ve said it’s better than yours if I’m honest.”

Before Richie could retort, a hostess came over to them and asked how she could help.

“We’re here to see Mike Hanlon.” 

Eddie followed beside the hostess, Richie and Y/N walking a little ways behind so he could list off what he couldn’t eat to the hostess; the other two tuning out what they had heard countless times before.

“- gluten and if I eat cashews I could realistically die…” 

Eddie’s voice trailed off as he made eye contact with Mike first and then Bill, a rush of memories hitting him like a train; not noticing that Richie and Y/N were right behind him.

“Holy shit.” 

Mike was the first one to one to step forward and greet the trio, first Eddie and then Richie, giving the men a hug each and lingering with his hands on their biceps, one after the other, and just taking in the fact that they were in front of him. Shortly after Bill followed suite and gave each man a handshake. 

“I’m so glad you both came.” 

The men nodded and were about the speak but then Y/N’s voice cut through. 

“Oh my god.” 

All the attention was on her as she stepped forward towards Bill, her eyes wide and starstruck. The man in question looked confused for a moment, taken aback by the reaction of the young girl and how excited she was to even be in the same room as him. 

“You’re Bill Denbrough.” 

“I am and who are you?” 

Y/N forgot how to speak for a moment, not believing that her favourite author was speaking to her. 

“I’m Y/N, the kid of those losers.” 

Y/N motioned to Eddie and Richie lazily with her thumb, smiling when Bill laughed and nodded, both not noticing the mock offended look on the taller man. 

“Oi you take that back.” 

Y/N turned to look at him and stuck out her tongue before turning back to Bill. 

“It’s amazing to meet you. Your books are some of my favourites. I especially love the endings because you have a way of making them feel so real and raw, even if they might not always be what is expected.” 

Bill felt a swell of happiness in his chest at hearing that his endings had been enjoyed, only hearing that they weren’t good by so many people, even if they felt like the best direction to him. 

“What’s one of your favourites?” 

It took a moment for Y/N to think but then it came to her. 

“The book about the man with a hook for a hand. It was insane. It took me three days to read the last chapter because I didn’t want it to end.” 

“That was one of my favourites to write. The ending of that book was my favourites.” 

“It was my favourite too. I felt like I was there with the main character. It was so good.” 

Bill smiled and thanked Y/N, watching as they got the copy of the book out of their bag along with a pen and shyly asked if he could sign it. 

“It would mean the world if you could.” 

Bill took the items from Y/N carefully, opening the book to the title page on the table before writing a sweet message and then signing underneath; handing it back and watching as Y/N read the note. 

The pair continued to talk a little ways away as Mike, Richie and Eddie spoke quietly. 

“Thank you both for coming. I knew you both would.” 

Eddie didn’t want to say anything about the fact that he had really considered not going and it was thanks to Richie that he hadn’t balantently refused or jumped out of the car while it was on the road. He didn’t think Mike would want to hear about that. “Oh yeah, of course Mike. We wouldn’t miss coming back to kill the clown that made our lives hell as kids for anything.”

Mike didn’t react to the sarcasm or the uncomfortable looks on the pair’s faces, instead starting to ramble about how grateful he was and how excited he was to see the others; no one mentioning Stan. Before anything else could be said however, Beverley’s voice was heard. 

“Is that you Trashmouth?” 

Everyone turned at the sound, Bev standing there looking as beautiful as always while Ben stook behind, looking bashful and flustered, his crush on Bev hitting him full force after all these years. 

“That’s Mr Trashmouth to you mah dear.” 

Bev laughed at the accent, memories of Richie’s nonsense filling her mind. 

“You know you haven’t gotten any better at the accents Tozier. I would have thought time would help.” 

Richie laughed and the soft rumble of his chest comforted Eddie, grounding him and filling his chest and heart with a feeling of overwhelming love and adoration. 

“So drinks?” 

“After the drive I just had, yes please.” 

The group got situated around the table then, Y/N sitting between Bill and Richie, laughing as her dads began to bicker and the waitress come in the take orders. THe atmosphere was like coming home, friends reuniting and picking up right where they left off, even if the elephant in the room was waiting for them to talk about it. 

“Oh Bev, Ben, this is our daughter Y/N.” 

Beverley was the first to introduce herself, Ben after, the red head making conversation and helping the girl to feel comfortable and welcome. It didn’t take long for the group to share stories with her about what her dads were like as kids, Y/N laughing harder than she had in a while at Richie and Eddie’s antics and how similar they were then to how they were now. 

It was then that the drinks came, alcohol for everyone else and a coke for Y/N. 

“To the Losers Club and to memories.” 

Mike said, raising his glass, the rest of the group, including Y/N (even if she had really no clue). 

Everyone repeated the sentiment before clinking their glasses together.

“To the Losers Club and to memories.”

[ptergwen]

If you do smut can you do like stark!reader x peter parker (spiderman) are dating 3-4 month and y/n and peter had their very fluff first time then next morning y/n has hickies all over her neck and her thights stomach... and tony/ her dad sees it and is confronting them with it😂 i love your stories 🤤

just saying hi

w/c: 2.5k

warnings: veryyyy suggestive, swearing, some pretty embarrassing moments

a/n: thank you babe! i didn’t write the actual smut but y’all can guess what happened 😭 also this is super long i couldn’t help myself

-

it was everything. it was everything you ever wanted your first time to be and more.

you’d brought up to peter during a make out session one night that you were ready to go farther than you two already have. there was one base you didn’t hit yet. the fourth, the final. you were thinking about it for a while before that, and peter would be lying if he said he didn’t.

your love has always been physical, whether it’s you kissing peter’s cuts after a mission or him tracing hearts on you with his fingers. there’s also the more sexual side of things. that part, you both enjoy just as much, maybe even a little more because you know exactly how to make each other feel good after all the trial and error.

what better way to combine the two than, well, making love?

last night was your sign from the universe, your go ahead to do it. you had the compound to yourselves because your dad had taken all the “big kids” out for the night. you’re both well into college, but he refuses to see you as adults. that meant no peter and no you. you two were a little offended until you realized you could make use of your alone time.

you started off searching for a movie. that turned into you wrestling peter for the remote because you didn’t feel like watching back to the furure yet again. wrestling turned into you on top of him, which turned into you kissing him, which turned into peter throwing the remote somewhere and carrying you up to your room with his lips still on yours.

neither of you had to say it. you were on the same page, same wavelength, two brains in one as peter layed you down and trailed his kisses lower and lower.

peter was so gentle with you, except for when you told him not to be. those were the times he didn’t hold back. he was attentive and sweet and showed you quite a few times how much he loves you. you showed him just the same. yeah, it was really everything.

“morning, baby. you awake yet?” peter hums against the shell of your ear, arms wound comfortably around you. “kinda,” you mumble back with a goofy smile. he presses his lips to your ear and nuzzles his face in the side of your neck. “kinda... how’d you sleep?” you can hear the grin in his voice. his nose nudges your bare skin where a fresh hickey lies and makes you scrunch your own up.

“good, really good. always love sleeping with you.” you’re both aware of the alternate meaning that has now. “funny,” peter lets out a breathy laugh against you and brushes his thumb over your stomach where your shirt got ridden up. you sigh, enjoying his soft touch and reaching behind you to play with his curls. they’re a lot messier than usual from you tugging on them all last night.

peter removes his face from your neck and carefully turns you onto your other side. you’re facing him now, eyes trained on his concerned expression. “hey, just wanna check. how are you feeling? still sore?” a tiny smile stretches your face. he really does care about you and how you feel after everything. you know for a fact most other guys wouldn’t.

“i mean, yeah. you were... it was a lot, but i’ll be fine in a few days i think.” the mention of peter being a lot makes color rush to his face. you laugh quietly at that, cupping one of his cheeks that’s turning pink. “oh. i, um, i didn’t know that. sorry.” he smiles shyly as you smooth your thumb over his warm skin. “don’t be. it wasn’t as bad after i... adjusted a little,” you reassure him, making him lean into your palm.

“i really am sorry, y/n/n. can i make it up to you?” peter checks with you, eyes going up from yours to down your body. he hooks a finger in the waistband of your pajama shorts. “make you feel better?” the way he finishes his question with a bite of his lip is definitely tempting. so is your stomach yelling at you to put some food in it. you’ll have to wait.

“later. right now, you can make me breakfast,” you beam at him and take his hand. peter pushes his palm against yours, letting you lace your fingers together as he puffs some air out of his cheeks. “yeah, that’s gonna go well.” “i’m supervising. it will.” you capture his lips in a kiss, one he instantly reciprocates, free hand resting on your hip. just as it’s heating up, you break it.

“i’m hungry for actual food,” you giggle and roll out of his embrace. “ok, ok, ok. let’s go see what we have,” peter gives in with a chuckle, grabbing the same hand he was just holding and following you down to the kitchen.

he ends up popping some frozen waffles into the toaster, you sitting up on the counter with your phone out while he struggles through the different settings. “should i put it on bake? no, that doesn’t sound right,” he talks to himself with eyes squinted in concentration. “your dad made this thing so... detailed.” it’s an old stark industries toaster, one with options you probably don’t even need.

“yeah because he loves his toast, so maybe don’t break it. he’ll kill you or something,” you half playfully half seriously suggest. peter is one clumsy guy. he tsks at you and crouches down to read the words on the dial. there’s conveniently a setting for waffles, so he hits that one. he’s not sure how he hadn’t noticed it before.

since he’s down there, he takes one of your ankles in both hands and starts to kiss up your leg. it tickles when he gets to your knee, drawing a giggle out of you, but your phone still blocks his face. you’re doing it on purpose. “baby,” peter tries to get your attention in a soft voice. he presses a couple more kisses to your knee. you have to hold your breath so you don’t laugh again.

“baby girllll,” peter drags out, lips moving up your thigh. he nudges your phone with his nose much like a puppy would. “aye, i’m talkin’ to you here,” he says in a fake new york accent. you finally put it down next to you. “i’m listening.” you’re giving him a satisfied smile as he goes back to kissing you.

“just saying hi,” he looks up at you and moves your shorts aside while he kisses further and further to where you want. you scoot closer to him on the counter.

that’s when he stops. not only stops, gasps in horror. “what?” you ask quickly, his eyes fixed on your inner thighs. “i kind of, uh, marked you up. like, a lot.” he runs a finger gently over the bruised skin. you’re suddenly very aware of it now. it doesn’t exactly hurt, just feels bumpy and weird. you peer down at yourself to see the damage, eyes going wide.

“shit... they’re on my neck, too,” you remember, murmuring to him. you’ll have to cover these up before everyone gets home. worry flashes across peter’s face. “oh my god, i didn’t even realize. it- it was dark and you told me-“ “pete, it’s okay. it’s pretty hot,” you stop his rambling, reaching down and putting a hand on his shoulder. he frowns up at you.

“really? are you sure i didn’t go too far? because you can tell me.” you’ve always appreciated how much peter genuienly values your thoughts on things, in the bedroom and in other parts of your relationship. it does lead to a lot of second guessing, though. you squeeze his shoulder and let out a breath. “i’m sure, okay? it’s really not that serious. i’ll just change so no one can see.”

peter winds an arm around one of your legs, body relaxing ever so slightly under your touch. “okay.” he gives your thigh one final kiss, then rests his chin on it. “what about your neck?” “uh...” you hadn’t considered that yet. “makeup? a scarf?” you’ve seen enough tv to know neither of those work, but they’re your only options.

“yup. mr. stark is really gonna kill me now,” peter says under his breath, tensing up all over again. you furrow your eyebrows at him. “what? we’re literally grown adults, we can do whatever we want-“

tony claps loudly as he steps into the kitchen, announcing his return home. peter jumps up from between your legs faster than fast. he moves so he’s next to you, and you hop down from the counter.

“hello, daughter of mine. spider of man,” your dad greets you two, you pulling down your shorts with a plastered on smile. “or would it be man of spider?” he plucks an apple from the bowl on the table as he ponders his question. steve and wanda file into the room next. “second one,” peter replies, grinning a little too much to be normal. tony takes note of that.

wanda comes over to the fridge for a snack, which is close to where you and peter are. “how was last night?” you ask her to take the attention off you two. wanda settles on a yogurt and turns to you. “it was good. we shared a few hotel rooms, had our own party.” she glances over at peter, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. “seems like you two had a fun night of your own.”

peter’s mouth drops open. “how did you-“ he forgot she could read his mind and now knows everything that happened. you slap a hand over your forehead. “you couldn’t think about anything else? for, like, a minute?” you whisper yell at him. he uses his eyes to plead with you. “i’m sorry! i was looking at the hickeys-“ he realizes what he’s saying. “crap.”

shooting you a wink, wanda shuts the fridge and goes to join the rest of the team in the living room. lucky for you and peter, steve started lecturing tony about washing his fruit before he eats it. he didn’t hear any of that. there’s still the problem of your visible hickeys that you have zero seconds to hide.

“how the fuck am i supposed to cover these? they’re right in the center, peter!” you panic, your heart starting to race as peter fumbles for a dish towel. that’s the best he could come up with? “no!” you toss it back at him. he throws it on the counter with a pained look. tony and steve make their way over to you.

“oh, hush. a couple of deadly pesticides won’t shake me, stevey boy,” tony insists and takes another big bite of his apple. steve huffs in disapproval and crosses his arms. “you’re a big baby, tony. if you’re not gonna do the right thing, at least buy organic-“ with the world’s longest sigh, tony chucks his apple into the open garbage can.

“there. no more apple discourse.” steve shakes his head at your dad’s behavior. “that was a waste. you could’ve finished it.” “not with your nagging into my literal ear.” steve raises his hands in surrender before making his way out of the kitchen. tony side steps past him and over to you. “enough of that now. let’s have a welcome home hug from my girl.”

you share a look with peter, a look of pure fear that’s in both of your eyes. he’ll definitely notice the hickeys if he gets that close to you. he holds out his arms expectantly while peter scratches the back of his own neck. “sure, dad. welcome home.” an awkward smile on your lips, you bury your face in your dad’s chest and wrap your arms around him in one motion. this way, he didn’t have time to see you from too close up.

peter exhales in relief at the narrowly avoided disaster. that’s until tony makes a request. “missed me that much, kiddo, huh? come out of there.” “but, i’m so comfortable. i wanna stay like this,” you insist, a niceness to your voice tony immediately sees through. he drops his arms from around you, eyeing peter suspiciously, who averts his gaze to the floor.

“nuh uh, you did something. both of you,” your dad states, taking a step to stand between you and peter. peter gulps down a breath before speaking. “mr. stark, it was-“ tony holds up a hand. “don’t worry, kid. i’ll figure it out.”

he gives peter a proper stare, searching him for clues of some sort. it’s a good thing he isn’t wanda because the details of your night would have been exposed. he couldn’t find anything, so now it’s your turn. he’s a little disappointed you’re the one hiding something.

“oh, y/n. not you,” tony sighs as he gives you a looking over. he starts with your face, your eyes following down as his do. it’s when he gets just past your chin that he sees them. the little hickeys littering your skin, some already deep shades of purple. he rips off his glasses in disbelief.

“absolutely not.” he closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with the same hand his glasses are in. “i’m not seeing this. i’m not seeing this if i don’t look.” you scoff at his reaction. “dad, you know we’re together. you can’t expect us to not...” “don’t say it,” tony begs, getting the urge to hurl his half eaten apple. he turns and faces peter.

“parker, you really did all of that?” peter only blinks, nervously meeting the eyes of his mentor. “to my daughter?” tony adds on to scare him even more. “i- i-“ a burst of frustration comes out of peter. “you left two teenagers alone the whole night. what’d you think was gonna happen?” he’s shocked at his own words, his face showing it. tony raises his eyebrows. both your hands cover your mouth.

not wanting to deal with peter, tony addresses you instead. “i don’t care how you do it, cover those up. don’t let me see them ever again. understood?” you nod a good amount of times and reach for peter’s hand. he’s about to give it, then tony glares down at what’s happening. peter pulls back immediatelty. “understood. we’ll, um, do better next time,” you agree, tony winching at the idea of a next time.

“you, parker... treat a lady with a little more respect, eh?” tony clicks his tongue at him. he’s referring to all the hickeys. peter’s lips form a line, a sarcastic one that says oh well. “i tried, mr. stark, but y/n wanted me to-“ “christ, that’s enough.” tony furiously shakes his head and starts to walk away from you two. “never again!”

you’re thanking god when he sets off for the living room, you hiding your face in peter’s chest, his face in your hair. “that was terrible. that was the worst thing ever,” you say into him. “i’m sorry, baby. we gotta be more careful.”

it’s not over yet because then, the toaster dings. you’d completely forgotten about the waffles. you and peter both separate with your millionth shared look of terror. tony comes rushing back into the room, very familiar with that noise.

“first you destroy my daughter, now my toaster? pete... you’re in for it, kid.”

[emerald-chaos]

Touchdown

*gif not mine, credit goes to the owner*

I just want to take a moment to say thank you for the love on my last fic! It made my lil ole heart swell to see that peopled enjoyed it enough to leave a like or reblog.

This is just something special I had in my arsenal that I wrote for a friend a few months ago. I touched it up a bit and added a few things here and there. It all started when we were talking about how much we loved when Chris' accent got heavier after he'd been drinking, and well, I couldn't help myself lol. I hope you enjoy the fluff! xoxo

I apologize for any grammatical errors, I tried to proof-read but am also a little exhausted lol.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 2844

Warnings: I don't think there's anyway? Mentions of being drunk/drinking alcohol, cursing, and illusions to sexy times, but that's about it.

You hadn’t noticed how furiously your knee was bouncing up and down until the person sitting next to you on the subway got up to move seats once the train squealed to a stop. You sighed and ran your hands down the front of your thighs. Normally being a little late didn’t bother you as much, but tonight you were meeting him.

You flipped your wrist over to check your watch. 8:30pm. In all honesty, it had probably been only thirty seconds later than when you checked it the last time. Another deep sigh escaped from your lips as you started to become hyper aware of the train remaining still at the current stop. What could possibly be taking so long? You knew he wouldn’t care if you were running late, but the time the two of you had together already felt so minuscule. You wanted to capitalize on every second you could.

The train began moving again and you slumped back into your seat, feeling only a small amount of relief. It was becoming painfully apparent that you needed to try and relax. You could feel the sweat building up on your body, the sting on your palms from where your fingernails were pressing in with a vengeance moments ago, and you could hear your heart thumping in your ears. Your hand dug around in your purse for a few moments before finding the small case you were looking for. Opening it, you slipped your headphones into your ears and let your head rest on the window behind you as music intertwined with your thoughts.

Once upon a time, you made fun of people who decided to go to grad school. What kind of a clown would spend thousands of MORE dollars and go BACK to school?? Not to mention the stress of the assignments, the due dates - it was not for you...or so you thought.

Now here you are, a regular booboo the fool.

NYU’s graduate program for design and merchandising wasn’t necessarily part of your 5-year plan, but when the opportunity landed in front of you it was difficult to pass up. NYU was a school you had only dreamt of attending back in high school. When you were a senior in high school you were able to tour the campus and fell in love immediately. Hours upon hours were spent researching grants, scholarships, and all sorts of ways to try to make it happen. However, the dream ended as most teenage dreams do - crushed. There was no way you or your parents could afford the loans that it would surely wrack up to attend the out of state university, and there was no way you could ask your parents take on that kind of debt just so you could go to college. UMass was the way to go - close to home and familiar. Not to mention you were able to obtain several scholarships and grants that helped bring down the cost tremendously. Little did you know, boring ole UMass would bring you one of the most important things in your life.

Applying for graduate school wasn’t an easy decision and one you couldn’t really take all the credit for. A smile crept across your face as you reminisced on the night you nervously brought up the idea to your long-term boyfriend.

“I think you should do it,”

“I know, right?” you scoffed, “it’s insane, why would I do something so stup...wait, what? You do?”

“Of course I do. This is something you love and that you’re passionate about. Do you know how many hours of my life were spent listening to you ramble about NYU?” he questioned with a grin.

“It will open up so many doors for you. We can make things work,” a chuckle escaped from those beautiful lips as he saw your dumbfounded expression. He wrapped his fingers around your waist and pulled you close, “What? Did you expect me to forbid it? Cmon, baby, what kind of guy do you take me for?”

You didn’t have a lot of wins in your life, but you did have Chris.

When you got accepted, he took off a week from work to drive you 3 and a half hours south to help get you settled and moved into your temporary new home. The two of you ate a disgusting amount of pizza, moved a ridiculous amount of heavy furniture in the middle of a summer heat wave, and enjoyed each other’s company before the long-distance thing would set in. Chris spent that week encouraging you every step of the way, talking you off the ledge when you were convinced you had made the wrong decision, and made sure to help you christen every possible surface of your new place in the most deliciously sinful way.

You bit your lip slightly at the thought and a warm feeling spread across your face. Chris was one of the most incredible people you had met in this world. Kind, caring, funny, intelligent, passionate, and god was he sexy. The connection the two of you had was scary at first, but now you just couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone else.

The robotic voice came over the loud-speaker in the subway car and you were rudely ripped back to reality as it pulled into your stop. You hurriedly scooped up your bag and jogged off the train.

It had been a promise between the two of you when you moved that there would be equal effort when it came to visiting and keeping in contact while having good, open communication. Long distance was hard but the two of you were determined to make it work. FaceTime calls, hours upon hours of texting, and even as far as writing the occasional letter back and forth (because your boyfriend was a hopeless romantic and you loved it so much). This weekend was your turn to come home to visit, and of course your last class had to go longer than anticipated. Fuckin’ Tiffany and her stupid ass questions.

The muscles of your calves burned as you kept up your hurried pace, weaving through the crowds of people gathered on sidewalks outside of various clubs and restaurants. It was a weekend night and the Patriots were playing, which meant the city was more alive than usual. New York was it's own beast, but it was a different type of hustle and bustle. Nights like these made your heart ache for home - the thick Massachusetts accents, the rowdy voices of bar patrons arguing about the game, the hugs shared between family members as they parted after dinner, and the faint smell of nicotine and alcohol that hung in the air.

As the neon sign that hung in the pub window came in to view you felt your heart dip down into your stomach. Last weekend’s visit had to be cancelled due to some stuff coming up with Chris’ work and a surprise assignment for you, so you hadn’t seen your boyfriend in 2 weeks. With a deep breath you swung open the door and scanned the crowd for him. He told you that he would be there promptly at 7:15pm for pregame shenanigans with his friends - which actually translated to how many pitchers of beer could they suck down before kick off.

“Aw, come ON! That is such a bullshit call!”

You heard him before you saw him. Of course. A grin spread across your lips as you shook your head. The thought of leaving to avoid secondhand embarrassment crossed your mind briefly before you picked up your feet and made your way through the crowd toward the sound. A room full of people from New England and you would still recognize that voice anywhere.

Everyone else seemed to fade away as you saw the outline of the tall, dark haired man standing at the bar. The slight freckles that spattered the back of his neck, the Brady jersey that he spent WAY too much money customizing, and the signature backward ball cap were ingrained in your subconscious memory. Not to mention if you didn’t recognize his outline or his voice, you would definitely recognize that ass anywhere.

You loved how passionate he got about sports and the way his Boston accent seemed to get thicker with each beer he consumed. Growing up in the area, you wouldn't think the accent would send a tingle down your spine the way it does, but it was different - it was Chris. Not to mention the sparkle in his eye when he would watch his favorite team or the way he would get in to arguments whenever someone tried to say something negative about them. You loved your big, handsome, over-sized toddler man so damn much.

A light tap on his shoulder made him whip around, his slightly opened mouth from his interrupted conversation curved upwards into a wicked grin as he made the connection of who was finally standing in front of him.

“Hey there, handsome. I don’t see a ring on your finger. You single?” You grinned, feeling your entire body fill with warmth as Chris leaned back and grabbed his chest as he erupted in laughter.

“Nah, nah, nah, unfortunately for you I am taken” he responded as he snaked his arms around your waist, sliding his hands into your back pockets as he pulled you into his figure.

“That is too bad,” you tsk'd, running a finger down his toned bicep, “she’s one lucky girl.”

“I think I’m the lucky one,” he grinned. He leaned down to meet your lips in a kiss. You sighed into it, allowing your body to mold itself so perfectly into his. The taste of beer on his lips and the smell of his cologne was intoxicating - it was home. You immediately allowed him entrance as you felt his tongue glide along your bottom lip. Your body felt small in his strong grip and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit as he gave your ass a firm squeeze. Normally, this type of bold, public display of affection would make you cringe away but at this point you were lost in Chris that you had absolutely no shame. Each time the two of you embraced had always felt like the first. Your heart still fluttered and your knees still got weak, like you were a 16 year old being kissed for the first time.

In the middle of your reunion moment, however, something happened in the game that made the entire bar erupt in boo’s and curses. Chris lifted his lips from yours to look over his shoulder and inspect what he had missed. You laughed and shook your head as you pushed him back towards his friends and took a seat in the bar stool he had been standing behind initially. His large hands found a natural place on your shoulders. While his eyes remained glued on the TV he began applying a moderate amount of pressure to your neck and shoulders. You didn’t realize how much your body craved that touch, his touch, until you immediately melted back into him.

The bartender slid a beer in front of you with a wink and you mouthed your thanks. You felt a twinge in your heart as you looked around, taking in the atmosphere of the bar. This was a typical weekend night for the two of you whenever you were living together. Football, drinks, pub food, and friends. If it wasn’t this pub it was your living room, just a couple blocks away. You didn’t even mind that it was your first night back and you weren’t alone, spending it immediately wrapped up in your satin sheets. The atmosphere, the people - it was so warm and familiar that you really wouldn’t rather be doing anything else. Plus, being wrapped up together in the sheets was sure to follow.

“I missed you,” hummed a pair of lips as they placed a kiss on the shell of your ear. A shiver shot down your spine at the sensation of his warm breath fanning over your neck. You reached up a hand and connected it to the nape of his neck.

“I missed you too,” you replied, turning your head to plant a kiss on his stubbled cheek.

His arms changed position as he wrapped them in front of your shoulders and crossed them, resting his chin on the top of your head. Your hand absentmindedly rubbed his forearms as you nursed your beer and placed your focus onto the game for the first time tonight.

The laughter seemed to escape from your chest naturally and effortlessly the entire night, as it always had a habit of doing when Chris was around. The camaraderie between him and his buddies during a game was something you’d grown to enjoy over the years. Chris’ competitive nature and the way his jaw clenched when something wasn’t going the way he wanted was always kinda...hot. All of his friends were huge assholes, but in the best way. It was always entertaining to hear them jab at each other and do what they could to rile someone up. They were the life of every party you had ever attended and they had a way of making a boring night a lot more interesting.

Thankfully (for the integrity of the bar) the Pats won the game with a surprise touchdown in the last 30 seconds of the game. Chris, being the guy he is, bought a final round for his friends and a nearby group they had been going back and forth with all night. You couldn’t help but laugh as he drunkenly leaned across the counter and slurred his order to the bartender.

“I need a round for m’friends and for these assholes over here who thought Tom Brady was anything but a winner!” the group started yelling in protest and he simply waved them off and started sliding beers down the bar.

The group eventually moved to a bigger round top so everyone could shoot the shit and banter about the outcome of the game. You were tucked into Chris’ side, hands intertwined as he was passionately discussing the importance of Brady’s legacy with a stranger who made the mistake of stopping to talk to him. Your eyes followed the motion of your thumb as it traced small circles onto the back of his. Your other hand under your chin, holding up the weight of your head as your exhaustion started to catch up with you. Chris, although slightly drunk, picked up on your body language and raised your hand to his lips for a kiss.

“Alright, fellas,” he said as he stood up from his seat, pulling you up with him, “the lady and I are gonna call it a night. See you boys next weekend”.

“Chris, we don’t have to go,” you began to protest as he tucked his jacket around your shoulders.

“Mm, ‘course we do,” he replied with a soft smile, “you’re so tired, baby. I can see it in those beautiful eyes”.

You could feel your cheeks turn a light shade of pink as you rolled your eyes at his attempt at laying it on thick. After what felt like a proper 10 minute goodbye session, the group said their final goodbyes, hugs included, and you walked out of the pub hand in hand.

The walk home was filled with the sounds of cars passing by and conversation of what each other had missed in the week prior. Small talk typically felt like such a chore, but with Chris every conversation came naturally. Even when he had absolutely no idea what you were talking about, he would listen intently and ask all the questions as if it was the most interesting conversation in the world.

The lock on the apartment door clicked as you pushed it open and entered. You smiled as you stopped into the middle of the living room, taking in the home you missed so dearly. A soft tapping of toenails against the hardwood made your heart soar as you met the eyes of your sweet pup, Dodger. A squeal left your lips as you squatted down to give love to the sweet boy. Chris always made fun of you when you came home, saying that you always seemed to miss Dodger more than you did him and I mean, he wasn’t entirely wrong about that statement.

Once again lost in your own world, you didn’t even notice Chris leaned up against the wall watching you with a smile.

“Oh my god,” you gushed, standing up, “do you like...like me or something?”

Chris grinned as he crossed the room and caught your belt loop with his finger, pulling you into him slowly.

“Yeah,” his voice had dropped down an octave, “you could say that”.

“Mm,” your tongue swiped across your lower lip and you wrapped your arms around his neck, “care to show me how much?”

The look in his eyes made your core burn. The tension building between you two became too much to handle as you crashed your lips into his. The kisses were messy and you could feel the sense of urgency between you two. His beard scratched against the column of your throat with a delicious burn as he left wet kisses across your jaw and down the side of your neck. Chris’ hands found their way back into the ass pockets of your jeans as he started walking you back towards the direction of the bedroom.

Soon, there was a trail of clothes leading to your bedroom and you felt very sorry for your neighbors. It had been a long time, but Chris always had a way of welcoming you home.

[helpfulbug]

actually wait I MUST also ask, for the blorbo meme ... hoodwinked ... 😳😳😳

OK SARAH YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOUVE JUST STARTED IVE SHIFTED INTO HOODWINKED MODE

also disclaimer: this is based on the german dub so if i comment on a song or a va just know its about the german version

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

EASILY the goat i know lesser ppl would put this as glub shitto but he isnt .....not to ME he comes in at the exactly right time hes in it for like 10 minutes and voiced by the iconic jan delay what more can you want everyone in my family knows his little banjo song he does when the landslide hits by heart im not exergarating if anyone does the "oooooh" the song starts w it is MANDATORY that the whole room sings this song and lets NOT forget his actual song its sooo good hes got horns for everyting!!!!!! he was ready for everything yesss king king king king king etc etc

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

honestly idk i dont think anyone here was supposed to be cute.....closest thing i can think of is the fox think playing bass at the skiing contest i always thought it was very shaped and i like the va (they later ask granny for an autograph)

twitchy is ofc also very dear to me but hes not cute imo

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

granny ofc!!! i wouldnt say shes underappreciated in the hoodwinked nation but since hoodwinked as a whole is underappreciated i can put her here....i just wrote a whole paragraph about badass old ladies for genkai so you know!! its everything to me......her riding the muffin backing tin down the lift rope is still one of the most iconic moments in film ever also her design is so fun just sad that not too many ppl on here know about her i feel she couldve been a tumblr beloved character

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

ok so. you might remember the evil ski team the grandma had to fight but. do you remember keith? bc I DO. hes forced to change his name to boris in the middle of the movie bc boingo thinks keith is not scary enough as a name ok pls imagine the name keith in the thickest german accent bc thats what made it so unbelievably funny to my brother and me the rabbit is like "Keeefs you need to change your name" and the fact that his new name is boris only adds to it all since boris was probably the second funniest name to my brother and me right after rüdiger (started w ice age 3 and holds up to today thanks to several german memes w that name involved) basically my brother and me reference this name changing ritual to eachother to this day keith gone but not forgotten but also we would never deadname him boris is also very funny to us also he was yellow and hand the tiktok eboy haircut but in the early 2000s way

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

the lumberjack ofc!!! idk if he had a name and idc in the german dub hes the lumberjack ONLY so. ofc this character is supposed to be german and likely had a german accent in the original. so now the german dub faced the age old problem of how to make this funny in german too and they made the biggest brain decision ever and made im north german. so let me explain the "stereotypical" german character they used here looks very south german to germans (read bavarian) like lederhosen those funny little hat thats all from the south so their decision to have him dressed like that but only as part for his method to get into character for the nose drops add he wanted to be in does so much MORE than the original joke of him being german (im guessing ive never seen this movie in english) the english equivalent of this would be having a cowboy but he has a new york accent or smth

everything that happened to him in this movie qualifies him as a poor little meow meow im sorry but i make the rules

the schnitzel song was very funny to german kids even tho we regularly ate schnitzel its simply a funny word and the way his song just starts w him scream schniiiiittzeeeelll was ofc very funny to imitate at the dinner table

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

boingo i like his character design and all but the way his big plan is to built a monopoly and blow up the forest:/ do you guys remember when capitalists were still allowed to be villians in childrens movies good times good times so yea im sending him down the plinko but i do like him as a villian if only his motivations was to deprivatize the baking sector instead he might have gotten into superhell but well....

also bonus but his german va is in a bit of a pickle rn bc hes part of a big datamining scandal on germany so id say spot on casting!

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

the lizard casting director! he was pretty mean to the lumberjack so down you go my guy!! also gay for sure

GLUP SHITTO ASK GAME

[ckret2]

Do you have any headcanons about the Hazbin's (minus Charlie) lives back when they were alive?

I scrolled through all 42 pages of the hazbin tag on my blog and literally every one of my premortem headcanons are about Alastor and Sir Pentious lmfao

So sure! Want an entire novella about my headcanons for Sir Pentious's backstory?

For Alastor, I can offer:

a traumatic toddler experience

his mother observing him with ghosts as a child

Alastor working with demons (funny)

Alastor working with demons (creepy)

Alastor and his asexuality/aromanticism (mostly postmortem but it has some premortem flashbacks)

Alastor with friends in the 20s trying to explain he does not get horny

a fic that didn't ACTUALLY happen but that demonstrates my headcanons for how he works with demons

And moving away from fics and on to tumblr posts!

For Alastor:

Alastor fought in World War I

another WWI post

headcanon about how he died (I've since changed my headcanon—hunting accident rather than manhunt—but the position's the same)

excerpt from one of the fics above about Alastor's first kiss

early headcanoning on Alastor's relationship with the queer community in life

Alastor saw but didn't learn the lindy hop in life

Alastor's accent makes people (in this case Sir Pentious) think that he's upper class when actually he's just had theater training

Alastor's family tree comes from a mix of socioeconomic backgrounds and before he died he achieved fame but not fortune

Alastor does not feel broken/insecure due to being ace/aro and never has

what people in Louisiana thought of Alastor as a radio host

what did Alastor look like (and Sir Pent)

Alastor only saw 10% of the Golden Age Of Radio and that's fucked up

fun fact when Alastor was on air radio stations weren't "just news" or "just (one genre of) music," a single station would play music and news and soap operas and sports etc

random links of queer history, 1920s gay culture, slang, and NOLA history

Alastor's mother grew up while Sir Pentious was menacing the US and she has very vivid memories of living in fear of him, and also she doesn't know her son is a cannibalistic murderer

Alastor wore glasses in life and only switched to a monocle in death

Alastor was never identified as a serial killer and there's probably unsolved true crime documentaries made about his killings (and these documentaries unknowingly use a recording of the killer's real voice, a clip from a news broadcast where Alastor read about the killings on air)

check out how hyped this newspaper in the 20s was for radio like goddamn

Alastor listened to radio all day every day

more 1920s research links

very loose overview of New Orleans race relations 1890-1920

how NOT to write about Voodoo

reminder that "alastor did magic in life" is a headcanon until we SEE him using magic before he died—also "Voodoo" is a religion not a magic power

how Alastor avoided getting caught as a serial killer

I doubt Alastor was famous enough for queer historians to have discovered he existed, only niche radio broadcast historians know about him

Alastor was raised to be courteous to (respectable) women, but not to genuinely see them as equals in a modern sense

1920s hair facts and headcanons on Alastor's hair

scene from one of the above fics of baby Alastor being haunted as shit

Alastor is a hedonistic thrill killer not a mission-oriented killer

his killing method was shooting from a distance, like hunting game

Alastor was kinda psychic in life and his psychicness interacted with radio signals

this includes developing a hella accurate sense of time

Alastor's always been hella into Mardi Gras

here he is in a ridiculous Cajun Mardi Gras costume

how the Great Depression probably affected Alastor

Alastor feels 0% empathy for other people but 500% empathy for fictional characters in musicals

For Sir Pentious:

he was so infamous that today he's a common character used in historical fiction in the same way that Victorian-era historical fiction commonly uses Queen Victoria as a character

(and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle references him in a Sherlock story)

(and he really did call himself Sir Pentious in life)

(and every character who lived after him had to study him in school, including Vaggie writing a paper about him and Alastor was cast as him in a school play)

(and now let's talk about historians dying and meeting the people they studied in Hell)

he has a son who's probably now in heaven

Sir Pent is trans

no seriously he has a son

Sir Pent has a chain of deadnames he used before settling on "Sir Pentious" and all of them are snake puns

one of Sir Pent's chosen names

based on Victorian sexual mores Sir Pent probably got kinda homoerotic with some dudes

this is just big Trans Sir Pent energy

what did Sir Pent look like (and Alastor)

I don't think Sir Pent used a wheelchair in life (but do think he had to for a while after he died)

Sir Pent is Pussyeating World Champ no I do not accept arguments

Sir Pent and his wife were very loving until his wife went "nope, you're planning world conquest, that's too evil for me"

he rigged his clothes to self-combust so he could choose death if he was ever on the verge of capture

his wife was named Helena and here's why

this is his self-destruct binder/corset

the one headcanon everyone shares

Sir Pent ain't Jack the Ripper

And there's a ton more headcanons on @dontasktheradiodemon my Alastor ask/RP blog but listen, I just went through 42 pages of one tag and it's 3 a.m., I'm not going to comb my roleplay blog for every premortem headcanon I've ever mentioned about him over there. It includes stuff like "he did deliberately shitty horoscope readings on air" and "the first time he summoned a demon he was on the Western Front and also coming down with Spanish flu so he's not sure how much of the ensuing chaos was real vs fevered hallucinations or how much was the Germans' fault vs the imp's" and "he lived a few years in New York and did drag."

These are not the only headcanons I have. These are just the headcanons I've been asked about or made time to type down. (And not counting all my postmortem headcanons. Or the premortem headcanons sprinkled into postmortem fics.) Feel free to ask me for more. Ideally with a topic you'd like to hear about; otherwise asking me "do you have any headcanons?" is like walking into a library and asking "do you have any books?" Gimme a section to start with.

[womenofwonder]

RWBY characters races for AUs set in our world.

How I’m going to do this: three things. The first, the city they live in Remnant. This is the least important because that leaves us with only five…maybe six places compared to our world’s hundreds of countries.

The second will be the original of their names, which they’ll have to keep in the AUs, meaning that they need some culture background for them.

The third will be their fairy tale origins.

So to start, Ruby Rose:

She lives in Vale, which is similar to France (I’ll explain why in another post maybe), but technically grew up in patch, a small island off the coast of Vale. I have no idea about Patch’s culture as we hardly ever see it, so I’m going to skip this one. We also don’t know if either Summer or Taiyang was originally from Vale.

We know Taiyang is Chinese from his name, so I’m going to say she’s half Chinese. I also wrote a western au once and really love the idea of Taiyang being an Asian Redneck…so I think I’m going to say Ruby is very, very southern just because that would be adorable.

But if you don’t want that idea I generally see Taiyang being either Asian-American or Asian-French, or Asian-British if your doing a HP AU. Summer is harder to pin down, but Red Riding Hood was originally an Italian fable, so I’m going to have her be Italian or Italian-American.

Weiss:

Weiss is German, although making her simply white America/British would work. I could see her being Russian too in some AU because Atlas fits well as Russia. For American works, Pennsylvania has quite the German population and coal mines, so that works pretty well for her.

Blake is really complicated. From Remment Australia which is culturally SEA (south East Asian), has an English name but parents with a Hindu-inspired names, but neither looking vaguely Indian. I’m going to assume her family are immigrants (as they are in cannon I think) to Australia, maybe even changed their name to help them fit in. Immigrants from where? Well, India is an option, but I like to think Malaysia. They have a large Indian and Chinese population, and I like to think Blake is a mixture of Chinese, Malay, and Indian ethnicities, from Malaysia and immigrated to Australia. And if you think this is crazy or unrealistic, you haven’t seen anything yet. The sheer mix of cultures I’ve seen growing up as an ex-pat is insane. This isn’t too crazy.

For Yang, we already have Taiyang as an Asian red-neck. Or at least I do. Raven and Qrow are going to be a little harder to pin down, but I’m think bandits getting replaced by mafia. Which mafia? I don’t know, take you’re pick. Branwen is Welsh, but I can’t think of a Welsh mafia. Coming from Mistral I would see them as being Triad, not Yakuza because Raven’s gang is famous for being less than coordinated.

If you need a logical reason for Yang having blonde hair, Taiyang could be only half Chinese, half blonde (blonde is race right?).

Either way I see Raven operating in an American city like New York or Detroit.

This would mean Yang is fully Chinese ethnically.

JNPR:

Jaune’s name and inspiration are all French. However his mother does come from Mistral (I think), so I do see him being half Chinese, but nationally French. It’s also funny to imagine him with a French accent.

Pyrrha: she’s Greek or maybe Greek-American with her parents being recent immigrants. Argus seems to Remnent-Greece and her name and fairy tale are greek.

Nora: she should be Scandinavian. I feel like in a MCU AU she’s Thor’s daughter. But she also grew up as a street rat in Mistral, which is hard to fit in our world. Therefore I’m going to have her in America, the great melting pot (and also America seems to be more like Mistral than any other Remnent king with our state system), and she going to ethically Scandinavian but knowing nothing of her culture due to her upbringing.

Ren: obviously Chinese, but I might have him be American-Chinese to fit his story nicely in with Nora’s.

Others:

Coco: we’re all ignoring that she’s based off Coco Channel, so let’s make her a LA girl

Velvet: Australia, because of the accent. Or maybe English because that is her story origin

Fox: he’s difficult, because tribes are pretty rare in modern AUs. But his story could work for various things. He’s one of the few black characters so he could come from practically any African tribe (I’m currently going with Hausa because it’s one of the few I know anything about). His name is based off ‘the fox and the hound’ which is a rare American story, so he could also be from a Native American tribe if you want the AU to be more American-based.

Yatsuhashi: Japanese, this one is thankfully easy.

Sun: Chinese. He comes from a tribe as well, but I can’t think of any nomadic Chinese tribes except the Uyghurs. Making Sun a Uyghur doesn’t make much sense but it will serve to piss off certain people on the internet. And now this is going to be taken down, isn’t it? Oh wait, this is tumbrl. This is anarchy. It won’t. Forgot why I liked this place for a second.

Scarlet: sorry for the rambling there. Anyway, Scarlet is definitely English. “I hope I don’t get sand in my shoes.”

Sage: well, he’s black, but other then that we have nothing to go one. He’s also from Mistral but that doesn’t really work? If Mistral is America as well as China I guess we can make him African American. Or whatever else works best for the AU. He might be Indian too now that I think of it. Or even Maori. Really options are limitless here.

Neptune: Yeah, so probably just American, but does have both a French last name and an Italian first name. So probably ethically American (aka white mutt). Also he lives near a port, I think I’m gonna gone with him being from Tacoma Washington because I am.

Flynt: African American

Neon: Japanese-American because of her meme (it started as part of Japanese pop song on YouTube, the latter of which is America summed up in one invention)

Oscar: Hispanic-American, he just looks it. And I’m guessing he lives in Kansas for obvious reasons. His last name isn’t Hispanic but their could be a lot of reasons for that. Or he could be Native American (Pawnee, Cheyenne, and Osage are all Native American tribes in Kansas).

Penny: well if she’s still a robot she probably stays white, but if you want her human in this AU she might end up being half black as Pietro is, although she also could just be adopted. I guess the later makes more sense, huh? I figure she’s American, with her dad working with a ‘well meaning’ but ultimately corrupt government. Probably living in DC, as that has both the government and the poverty issues.

Emerald: oohh, boy. This is hard. Sustrai is Basque, and Aladdin is a French addition to an Arabian story, she herself is dark skinned with anime features that are super unhelpful for this sorta thing.

I have three ideas. Brazilian, mostly as there’s no South American themed RWBY characters I can think of, and it’s diverse enough that someone looking like Emerald would fit. Secondly, for American centered stories she’s just an orphan with no idea of her ethnicity. Or she could be African, Indian, Pacific Islander, or Hispanic or some mixture between those four. It’s honestly really hard to tell. In my fanfic she’s from Suriname and ethnically 1/4 Indian, 1/2 Creole, and 1/4 Javanese.

Ilia: Sioux (Native American). Ilia means a lot of things in a lot of different languages, and Amitola mean rainbow in Sioux, so I decided to just stick with that.

Mercury: American, white mutt American. I’m guessing New York or Philli for where he grew up, it seems like a place where he’d be comfortable

Neo: the new novel reveals her father lived in vale (btw I haven’t read it, I’m just getting this off the internet) and her mother was a assassin who’s origins aren’t known. She doesn’t really have a fairy tale. So I’m going to go with British or French (thank RWBY thoughts for the first one) although in an American AU she works as just a white American.

Robyn: depends on what Atlas is in this AU, but probably German or American.

Qrow: I already mentioned he’s probably Chinese due to being from Mistral. It’s a bit weird to think of him as Asian, but not as weird as it to think of Raven as white, so I’ll take it. Although I do like the idea of him being American Irish, that’s fun.

Winter: whatever Atlas is in this AU, German or American, although British and Russian would work well too.

Maria: Mexican

Salem: If you want a AU where she’s just a normal person then New England or Italian for her story origin

Watts: British

Tyrian: uh…I have no idea, but he looks white. And he kinda has a British accent? I want him to be southern for the accent tho. Probably just another crazy American

Cinder: her fairy tale is French but her origin is Chinese. Also, Cinderella doesn’t really have an origin, it’s an ancient story with every culture having at least one Cinderella story. So I’m going to say Chinese.

Hazel: American, from the Midwest. He’s darkish so maybe he’s a POC? Part Native American or Hispanic? Idk or really care I can’t stand Hazel

Roman Torchwick: American-Italian, he runs/works for the mafia

Ozpin: American because of the whole wizard-of-Oz-thing or French, because he seems to have come from Vale.

Glynda: American or French for the same reasons Ozpin is

Oobleck: Jewish American (because Dr. Seuss was)

Professor Port: Russian, due to his fairy tale, or English, due to his style

Taiyang: already said he’s a red-neck Asian.

Raven: depending on whether you want her to be white or not, either Chinese or Irish American, like I already said.

Cordovin: Karen

Ironwood: again, depends on Atlas in the AU. Either American or German…maybe Russian

Clover: Irish-American (or German, obviously the ace-ops depend on where Atlas is. I’m just going to do the rest of them assuming Atlas is American because Germany isn’t that diverse)

Harriet: African-American, I guess. It kinda messes with the story because Harriet is supposed to be privileged, which doesn’t really work in this AU, but she’s also obviously black.

Elm: Just normal American, maybe greek-American because of the Aesop fable themes

Vine: Tibetan based on his design

Marrow: either African-American or Pakistani/Indian-American. (I’m personally going for Pakistani)

Klein: english. All butlers are English. It’s a rule.

Pietro: African-American

Johanna: Pakistani or Indian American

Fiona: Jewish-American (kinda random but while she’s obviously white she also needs to be a minority for the Faunus thing to work)

May: normal upper glass American/German

Ghira: Half Malay, Half Indian, from Malaysia but immigrated to Australia later in life

Kali: half Chinese, half Indian, but also from Malaysia

Adam: much like Fiona I’m going to assume he’s Jewish due to him being white but still needing to be a minority. German or American, again, depending on where Atlas is. Or he could be Chinese, even though it doesn’t work with his name, due to the theory that he was trafficked much like Cinder. I’m going with ethically Jewish though

Sienna Khan: Indian

Huh, I actually finished that. I’m pretty sure I was accidentally racist multiple times and apologize in advance,

I’m exhausted and starving and not thinking straight. But anyway, here it is. Your very messy guide to modern RWBY AUs. I swear this was insane to sort out.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #44 | Terri's Revenge! (Colt, 1976)

Now, most people will find roughies to be entirely distasteful. I mean, it's a genre that uses sexual assault for titillation and entertainment. What right thinking person would enjoy this? But suppose, like me, you've watched enough unpleasant movies, and your brain has been sufficiently rotted by this excessive diet of sleaze, and your previous ideas of taste have been thoroughly eroded. Were you in such a state of mind, you might concede that the genre could be executed well, and you might be willing to appreciate when a movie did something differently or attempted to alleviate some of the more unpleasant aspects of the genre. In that respect, I think Zebedy Colt's Terri's Revenge! is worth a look. Our protagonist Terri Hall is married to man with whom she is deeply in love, only for him to reveal himself as the world's worst husband when he helps his buddy rape her. Traumatized, Hall takes up with a friend who too was raped by her own husband, and the two join forces to take revenge on rapists by giving them a taste of their own medicine.

Now, as far as the genre goes, the movie does deliver the goods, and the sex scenes are full of the requisite close-ups. But at the same time, the camera's gaze feels a little different than usual. Notice how it lovingly captures the bodies of the male performers, instead of highlighting their unsavoury qualities. Even the anatomical close-ups feel a bit less perfunctory. The effect is that the rape scenes feel a bit less mean-spirited than they can be in this genre. I went in with the knowledge that Colt himself was gay, so I perhaps I am reading that into the proceedings more than another viewer might. I concede that as a straight dude my attempts at a queer reading of this movie will likely be extremely dumbassed, but I'm already this far into the paragraph so you're stuck with me now. I think the casting of Hall plays into this skewing of the usual genre dynamic as well. Hall is perhaps less conventionally attractive than the average porn starlet, but I say this not to disparage her appearance (I find her interesting looking), but to note how it changes the film's energy. To the extent that Colt tries to capture her unusual beauty, he emphasizes not her femininity but her wiry musculature and stark features (accented by her high contrast make-up). There's a certain camp element to her presence, enhanced by her line deliveries (you can detect a bit of Helen Lovejoy in the way she says "Leave!"). Like in The Devil Inside Her, her unusual presence complements the film's overall tone, but I appreciated that her character is more proactive this time around.

I wouldn't say Colt entirely subverts the genre, but you can see how he brings it to a different wavelength, less interested in rubbing the audience's nose in the ugly subject matter than finding some off-kilter entertainment in the proceedings. I watched one of Colt's other roughies, The Farmer's Daughters, recently and found that one indifferently filmed and unpleasant, whereas this feels a lot more engaged and maybe a little fun (as far as these things go). Probably the most provocative element here is how Colt juxtaposes consensual and non-consensual sex, not so much to blur the lines and conflate the two as these movies tend to do, but to show how the heroines repurpose their trauma and find a sense of agency in their situation. The movie is perhaps hampered by its modest scale, as Hall's rampage only consists of two sex scenes, although I appreciate Colt's use of a newspaper montage to shortcut to some level of grandeur, and the use of exterior shots of crumbling pre-cleanup New York locations give the whole thing a nice coating of grime. It's also worth noting that Hall's revenge spree consists of female domination sex scenes, which is a nice counterpoint to the male dominant scenes that pervade the genre. (And if I'm being perfectly honest, I found them a lot more enjoyable.) The climax is a doozy, with a medieval Viking porno movie being projected while Hall seduces, only to turn the tables on him with the arrival of her friend (spoiler alert: paddling ensues). Colt matches the escalation of the concurrent sex scenes but contrasts the male dominant dynamic of the projected scene to the female dominant dynamic of Hall's revenge, as if Hall was weaponizing the misogyny of her target against him. There is a further attempt to further complicate the proceedings, but while this doesn't turn full on into Ms. 45, I appreciated the sentiment.

[alexhoghdaily]

Alex’s Instagram Live interview with Tommy DiDario for #LetsStayTogether

Once again this got extremely long. Because as usual I cannot grasp the simple concept of ‘Highlights’. I basically wanted to write every single sentence down. Forgive me.

(note: this interview contains spoilers for the Vikings finale!)

The comments are turned off. This sets a relaxing mood for the interview.

Alex starts by asking if he’s getting through alright, Tommy is in New York and Alex is in Denmark. Which can make the time difference and connection difficult. He was confused about the actual time of the interview. His email said the show would be at 9pm, but the instagram countdown was set for 7pm. He’s not a technical person so he got a little nervous and was very happy to be live.

Tommy mentioned he started the show #LetsStayTogether during covid to give people a place where they can turn to for some joy, hope and inspiration. A place to just have fun. He said Alex brings all that and more so it was a pleasure to have him on the show.

He spoke about his character and the show Vikings, and asked him What made him want to play the part of Ivar on the Show. Alex answered the question with him being a ‘nobody’ when he came into the show, and he was very thankful to get the opportunity. He didn’t think about wether or not he liked the character, for him it was more like “I’m going to be an actor on Vikings? Are you kidding me? That’s a solid yes.” He didn’t even know what character he was going to play. It started with a regular self-tape of him doing weird accents and weird lines and then multiple auditions for all of the brothers. He said it was an intense audition. He remembered coming into the room and immediately noticing that the people present there were very important.

Tommy mentioned the darkness he brought to the show, the rise and fall of Ivar and how people were rooting for him in the end, and then asked Alex what he loved about playing such a great character like this. Alex answered with the ups and down’s, those are always fun for an actor to get into. Ivar is complicated and that’s always fun to take on as an actor. you always have to defend him [Ivar] even despite him making that very tough. “When he started burning people for a living I was like Michael Hirst are you kidding me. How am I supposed to make people still kind of love him?” It was challenging and fun.

Tommy asked Alex if he was protective of him [Ivar] because he felt like he had to figure out a way to make people like him. Alex answered with: Absolutely. He needs to be, because he always has to understand him and never judge him. And if he would struggle with that, the audience would absolutely 100% too. He has to be the last line of defense. He explained his thoughts and reasoning behind Ivar’s decisions. If he can reason with his thoughts and feelings behind it, it can completely change how he says his lines. It’s all in the little details and that’s what makes the job fun.

He didn’t get his script long ahead of time, only a week, so when he was still rehearsing his lines for one episode he already got his lines for the next and that was really though.

Tommy asked him why he [Alex] thinks is the reason fansresponded so well to his character even with his darknes. Alex answered this wit that he thinks it’s because he’s an antihero. You like rooting for someone who isn’t always perfect because we as human beings are also not always perfect. (He compared it to him liking batman over superman because batman is more flawed than superman.) He also said that he loves that he’s [Ivar] complicated. Every time you create a character that has a lot of depth to them, you challenge the audience and force the audience to always question him and ask themselves what they think about him and his actions. Why is he doing what he’s doing? That keeps people invested and engaged with the story/character. That’s his job.

Favorite scenes: Alex’s favorite scenes are 5x03 where Ivar is yelling, covered in blood in York. (He repeated his iconic Icelandic line as usual.) Another favorite scene was the one where Ivar said goodbye to Baldur in the woods. It is a scene that is really close to his heart. This is because Ivar was honest and vulnerable. Usually he’s doing crazy stuff and yelling and killing people. Alex likes the quiet moments more where he’s just in his own head and having a heart time. He loved the scene because it was so real.

Tommy asked Alex how he views Ivar’s relationship with love. (Absent father, overprotective and smothering mother, a tragic marriage, how does Ivar view love after this.) Alex said that he understands why Ivar does not understand love. After his absent father, smothering mother, tough love from his brothers, he was so blinded by Freydis’ love and his love for her that she could fully manipulate him. It was a complete disaster. When they started season 6 Alex thought that Ivar had completely given up on love. He had discussed this issue with Michael Hirst and the directors. Alex found him to be a sociopath and not an actual psychopath. Because he understands emotions, and he has a lot of them. He does have love and he does have empathy. He thought it was great to focus more on that in season 6. Showing more of Ivar’s human side was very important to him. He has many emotions and he was never just a crazy guy, Alex never thought he was crazy, nor that he was a god, he believed that Ivar knew better than to actually view himself a god. He thinks Ivar is an actor, and he is more broken on the inside than on the outside. The whole “I’m a god” act was all fake, and it was Ivar’s defense mechanism.

For his journey in season 6, Alex asked Michael Hirst to take it down a notch for Ivar. in season 5, especially 5B, he was challenging to like and Alex was struggling to defend him. He wanted to turn that around. He said that after losing his wife, his throne, and being on the run really makes him think. He says Ivar was smart enough to learn from his mistakes. He loved to come to a new place and start from the beginning. He did say that even with the new beginning Ivar was still plotting and manipulating and smart. He is still Ivar the Boneless. Alex was always amazed by his smarts when he read the scripts. He loves season 6 because Ivar was more human and humble.

They discuss Ivar’s death in the final episode. Alex said that he was on top of that. It was completely his idea. He wanted him to go out with a bang and not survive. He told Michael Hirst he wanted a death scene for Ivar. He also discussed with Michael that he loved the idea of Ivar being scared in the end. That he showed himself to be extemely human in his very last moments. Which Alex himself thinks all of us would be. Ivar is the guy who has been yelling that he’s a god, and he loved to contrast of him showing who he really was in the end, and just being afraid. He wanted him to be human in the end, the little boy that he really is. He needed him to show it in his last moment. He thought it was a beautiful brotherly and honest moment. Quote: “I like honesty.” He said that it was also one of his favorite scenes.

Tommy asked what it was like for him, and Alex said that he was bawling his eyes out. He cried the entire day. It was the end of 3,5 years of Vikings, the end of a very intense period of his life and it had been extremely challenging. He was happy to go but he also knew he was going to miss everyone. They were like family. It was the very last scene he shot, and it was magical to finish filming the show with his death scene. After it he was like I guess it is really over. He got a microphone and a signed shield with little messages. He was crying and everyone was gathering around him in a circle, which made him very nervous. It was a regular day with many extras and crew members and performing for them is no problem but when it get’s personal it’s more difficult. It felt like a very private moment. It wasn’t until he got home 14 days later that he fully understood what happened.

Tommy said that he understood that after such an intense role it would take a bit to come back from that and realize what he’s done. Alex agreed 100%. He said it can really feel like an empty dark hole, because you’re so used to working with so many people around him and he’s in a groove and all of a sudden it stops.

He mentioned that he was in his studio, and that he has a band. “That’s what’s happening in the background here.” It’s a fun hobby, nothing official. It’s just them doing decent cover songs. When Tommy asked if we would be able to hear any of them Alex answered with: “Absolutely not”. He joked about it being a secret passion and that it’s not supposed to be talked about. Tommy said no one would be opposed to them releasing a single.

After tommy asked about on set relationships Alex said they were all really close like a family. Filming was tough, not the best circumstances, 15 hour workdays, no breaks, eating the same cold food in between takes and the only way to get through it is because you’re with family. He said he worked with incredibly beautiful and talented people and that helped getting through it. He says he keeps in touch with a lot of people, not just cast members. He said that this is the beautiful thing about this job, you get families all around the world. He mentioned that there were a lot of food battles between the actors.

They moved on to the most popular fan questions.

Who would Alex play if he wasn’t Ivar? In return Alex asked if he could pick anyone and it wouldn’t matter. He jokingly said Lagertha, then said he would actually like it. Then he said Floki because he loves both Floki and Gustaf. (insert little floki laugh.) He also said Ragnar and King Ecbert.

What was the experience like filming Ivar’s genetic disorder? Alex said it was such a challenge. Especially physically because had to crawl around. He thought it was very important to him because he studied OI for his role and he said it’s an awful disease. It was important to him to make it as authentic as possible and show the struggles people who have that disease go through every day. Tommy said that people really appreciated the honesty that Alex brought to that portion of the character and he saw a lot of comments from people in the disabled community saying that they appreciated seeing someone go through that on a mainstream show because they can relate to it. It’s very powerful. Alex had also received some messages from people suffering from OI and it was very inspirational and humbling. It made the experience even better because he likes that he can give people the extra confidence to go out there and do things.

The third question was if Alex would ever be interested in doing a prequel about Ivar’s life. Alex said that he would want to. He jokingly said: “Why not? if the money is good enough.” Of course he would because he loves his character. He also said that even though he would love to, he also has to admit that his character has been a big part of his life and he would like to do portray other characters. (They joked about a lot of people wanting to see Alex in a romantic comedy and Alex mentioned it’s not his favorite thing to do).

Is there a behind the scenes secret that people would be surprised to know about? Alex said that on Vikings they were allowed to write their own lines once in a while and that’s not very common.

Alex’s screen froze and he suddenly left the livestream, but he finally was able to come back after a few minutes. (Insert embarrassed face and him apologizing for being a technical disaster).

He continued about writing their own lines. They really had a say in their own lines and character’s storylines and that was amazing. It helped getting a better sense of understanding characters.

Tommy asked him if he had a favorite line or scene that he’s written. Alex told about the scene where Hvitserk and Ivar meet each other again in season 6 after being separated for a long time. Marco and himself wrote the tiny scene together where they sit together next to the river where Ivar says to Hvitserk: “You look like shit” and Hvitserk replies with “I feel like it.” Followed by “What are you wearing?” Alex loves that little moment because after everything it brings them straight back to their original relationship.

The last fan question was actually not a question, it was a happy early birthday! Tommy asked Alex how he would celebrate and what he would like for his birthday. Alex answered the question with Less COVID and peace in the world. It’s really the time to stick together. He can talk about it and use his platform but that’s all he himself can do. He said he’s happy and priveleged, everything is good. Copenhagen is opening up. Because cafe’s are opening up again he can go out to have lunch and a beer. But there are so much places around the world where circumstances are horrible and it would make him happy if everyone could get a little closer together. Tommy agreed that it was an important message to put out there.

They joked about his band again, Alex not committing to putting anything out. Alex said it’s absolutely noted. He also jokingly said he would tell his bandmates that they should put out some originals.

They spoke about Alex’s photography. Alex said it’s a side thing and a hobby, a way for him (when on set) to relax and focus his mind on something else. He also thinks it’s so much fun to capture moments. He likes to capture moments in front and behind the camera, that’s what photography for him is about. Capturing moments and telling stories. It’s a pleasure to bring his camera on set because he can capture so many different things. He likes to keep doing it. He also said he’s working on a photography book but he wants to wait with releasing it until he has enough good material from a lot of different projects to include.

Finally Tommy asked him what he would like to say to everyone who tuned in and who stood by him for all these years. Alex answered with: “Thank you very much for all the support throughout the years, he literally couldn’t have done it without you [the fans] because that’s why they keep doing another season and another episode. Because you tune in every single week and do that for several years. It’s all for the fans. Sure they do it for themselves but in the end it’s all for you and they are proudly trying to make it as good as possible because of you, and because you are watching. Thank you for doing that.”

[lovelyirony]

Hi! “If I fail, I’ll fall apart/Maybe it is all a test/because I feel like I’m the worst / so I always act like I’m the best” -Oh No! This is one of my favorite lyrics ever, and I'd really like to see what you bring out of it :) You're amazing, ily! 💞

what if maria had more of an effect on tony’s upbringing than most? howard’s still a dick but make it funny

Tony has known he was probably not the best human on earth ever since he was five and his dad made a bigger deal out of a dead man’s birthday than his own. 

At age five, you don’t really know a lot about the world yet. There were about two things that Tony didn’t know that he wishes he did know: 

1.) The word “fuck.” It would have helped with a lot of his situations. 

2.) The concept of jealousy. He probably could have gone to a child therapist or some shit, he’s not sure if those even existed back then, or if his parents would have even let him go. 

(After all, he’s supposed to be their perfect little boy, just the right amount of precocious and the other amount being something like genius or respectability.) 

It is actually his mother who takes the reins on his life. Howard has effect, he has huge effects. 

Maria is a socialite who absolutely refuses to let her son succumb to Howard’s devil-may-care attitude that he’s so infamous for. Her son is going to be well-mannered, respectable, and know exactly how to treat a lady of high social standing. 

This involves training at a young age. Six would be a fine age. 

It’s not Howard who sends him to boarding schools, it’s Maria. She ensures that he goes to the finest schools available, most abroad in Europe. She trains him out of the American accent, into something a bit more refined. 

He spends summers learning different languages and different skills. He learns how to fence by the time he’s ten, and becomes quite proficient at it. 

She quizzes him on established families, up-and-coming families, and never keeps him far from her sight. 

Anthony Stark is not going to be a wild-child, she decides. 

-

Anthony isn’t, for the most part. Sure, he usually stays up past what is acceptable for the night to work on some mechanic stuff and uses the word “damn” a bit too much for his mother’s liking, but that’s the reason make-up and apologies were invented. 

He follows rules and is known to smile like his mother and enjoy listening to quartets play out in the open air during the summer months. He travels to Europe and participates in various activities and is the talk of many socialites who eagerly await his arrival. 

He’s a portrait, holding still for all’s approval, and he’s not quite sure how to move. 

That’s troublesome, he thinks. 

The problem is this: Anthony Stark doesn’t have any interests outside what is required. He loves working on inventions, and they are necessary for the company to survive, but his father hates any robotic invention he pushes for, and mother thinks that if he tells people he’s rather fond of AC/DC then he’s a plague to society and will be shunned. 

(He doesn’t say it to her face but they haven’t shunned Sunset yet, and she’s a whole world of problems, so rock music is the least of their problems.) 

There is one thing that he pushes for: university in the United States. He’s been traveling to Europe since he was a child, and he honestly needs to do something for himself. 

Maria is not pleased. 

“So after I sacrifice so much for you, this is how you repay me?” she asks him over dinner. 

He places his fork to the correct side. 

“Yes. This is how I am repaying you. By getting a perfectly respectable college degree from a critically-acclaimed university that anyone would be lucky to attend. Not to mention it might reflect badly on Stark Industries if I don’t go to an American college. Do I not trust American institutions to run an American business?” 

“You shouldn’t.” 

Anthony laughs. 

“Mother, they cannot teach me anything that Europe can’t. Let me go to college in the United States. Please.” 

“No.” 

- 

It takes Howard to convince her, and a.) Howard doesn’t even like Anthony that much, and b.) he also doesn’t like his wife that much. 

“He’s going to a damned college here, Maria. We don’t need him to go to any more of that fancy bullshit you call school over there.” 

“Fancy bullshit, Howard?! Bullshit?! You mean what has gotten him this far in life and will make him a better man of social standing than you?” 

“My god, is social standing all that matters to you? What are your little friends going to do, choke on their silver spoons when they find out that your son is going to an American college?” 

- 

Jarvis also convinces her. 

“It will be easier to monitor his progress from a shorter distance,” he advises. “And you can visit frequently.” 

Anthony gives him a very dirty look. Apparently, he wasn’t supposed to mention that. 

Oops. 

-

But, Anthony gets his way. He’s going to MIT, and he has a roommate. 

(Okay, so mother doesn’t know that. But he supposes she will if she ever visits. Or maybe not considering if Tony can successfully convince his roommate to “disappear” for at least a day.) 

-

Rhodey does not give a singular shit about high society anything or anyone. Anthony Stark is a name he registers, but doesn’t recognize. 

“Anthony’s a mouthful,” he says a week into their cohabitation. “You have a nickname or something?” 

“Ah...no? I mean, not yet,” Anthony says. 

“How do you feel about Tony?” 

“I...I suppose that that is alright.” 

“Are you from Europe?” 

“No, from New York.” 

“Well holy shit, you sure as fuck don’t sound like it.” 

- 

Anthony--well, Tony now--learns quite a bit about American schooling and what he’s actually supposed to be doing to pass off as normal. 

Rhodey (yeah he got a nickname that ended in ‘y’ too, Tony said he wouldn’t be the only one) takes him to the thrift store and tells him to pick out some clothes. 

“...there’s a shirt that’s advertising a restaurant from Montana.” 

“And? Does it look hilarious?” 

“Is that the point of this?” 

“Fashion is supposed to make you like what you’re wearing or like yourself. I swear if you say that those boring black suits make you feel better about yourself, I will be dragging you to any therapist that will take us for at least five dollars.” 

“Five dollars?” 

“Maybe less if I can negotiate.” 

“Hey!” 

- 

Tony learns how to have fun. He loves it. 

Rhodey makes him go to record stores and find the bargain bin, and they play the warped records and laugh as voices go up and down in pitch. Tony blasts Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden until the RA begs him to go to bed and Rhodey throws all of his pillows off of his bed. 

In return, Tony teaches Rhodey how to read other’s facial expressions, dress for any occasion and be the best-looking there, as well as avoiding any sort of conflict by bringing up past embarrassments. 

“Are you serious about the color of my shoe affecting my social standing?” Rhodey asks, trying to shove his foot into a shoe that was a brown color that Tony had described as a “golden mahogany.” 

“Yes, I’m dead serious.” 

“No fucking wonder everyone says eat the rich all of you are so fucking pretentious. It’s brown, Tony.” 

“Tell that to any high society woman over fifty.” 

“I will.” 

- 

As it turns out, he ends up doing it much sooner than anticipated. 

Tony’s parents come to visit. 

They call him Anthony. Which is gross. Rhodey hasn’t used the name “Anthony” in about six months. 

“I wasn’t aware that you were his roommate,” his mother says. 

“Well, here I am,” Rhodey says. “Name’s also on the information they sent out to the parents about the living situations.” 

Tony tenses as his parents brush off the obvious comment on how little they actually know about his situation and move right into the room. 

Maria stops at the huge poster of a rock band. 

“I assume that this is...James’?” 

“No,” he says timidly. “It’s...it’s mine. Their use of movement on the guitar strings-” 

“Take it down,” Maria demands. “It’s unsightly.” 

“Oh give the kid a break,” Howard says tiredly. “For once he’s not listening to you talk about the merits of paisley prints.” 

“I’m training our son for a more successful life than yours,” Maria hisses. “Of course, you’d have to stay away from your friend Jack to understand that.” 

“Rhodey, leave,” Tony says. “Trust me, it gets messier from here.” 

He does think about it. How easy it would be to walk out and check in with a couple of his other friends and talk about how crazy Tony’s parents are. How he could check back in near dinner time and then Tony could tell him all about how terribly it went. 

But Tony already looks terrible, and he’s doing that weird thing with his hands where he wrings them and then remembers he’s not supposed to wring them and makes it worse. 

“No,” Rhodey says. “I am staying until the bitter end. Who knows? Maybe I can give your mom a heart attack when I ask her the difference between kelly and forest green.” 

Tony grins. 

“You can leave any time, it’s about to get...interesting.” 

- 

Tony’s family is quite dysfunctional. They can put on a good front in public, for what it’s worth. 

Howard is impressed that Rhodey’s planning on going into the Air Force and then talks about Captain America for a lot of the dinner. Rhodey is very uncomfortable and then asks about business and Maria rolls her eyes and orders another glass of wine. 

After Howard finishes up talking about some contract and making vague threats against businesses that Rhodey thinks might actually be in trouble, it’s Maria’s turn. 

“So, Rhodey, where is your family from?” 

“We live in the Boston area,” Rhodey answers. 

“And what do your parents do?” 

“Dad works as a consultant for a local construction company, and my mom works as a high school history teacher. They both like their jobs.” 

“Hm,” Maria remarks, and it’s so light and casual and yet so cutting. Tony can see how Rhodey squirms, and he can’t just let it stand. 

It’s one thing for Maria to cut her own son down until he’s nothing. Still fucked up, but Tony can handle it. He’s been handling it for years. 

“Rhodey, how did your mom come to want to know she liked teaching?” Tony asks. “That sounds like it could be really hard to figure out.” 

“Oh, well it all started when she was in high school and wanted to change how one of her teachers treated students. It was a really inspiring moment for her.” 

“That sounds really cool,” Tony says. “What does she like most about her job?” 

“Probably the kids,” Rhodey says. 

The conversation carries on about Rhodey’s family until their dinner arrives and his mother manages to cut in with more questions. 

“So, what else does your mother do?” 

“She volunteers at the local food kitchen and helps some of the younger kids at the after-school program,” Rhodey answers. “She also makes a mean Thanksgiving turkey.” 

“Would you look at that,” Tony says. “Mrs. Rhodes sounds like a fine cook, I wish I could say the same for you, mother.” 

“Oh?” 

Howard actually laughs at that as he signs for the bill. 

“The kid is right, Maria. At some points I think your kitchen is only used for decoration.” 

“Oh, and you know how to cook, Mr. Stark?” Maria asks, raising her eyebrows. “I’d love to see you make anything other than coffee.” 

“I’ll make toast.” 

Rhodey laughs, and so does Tony. 

“Ready to go?” Tony asks, and part of it is a way to get away from an isolated conversation, and part of it is to make his parents leave for their hotel room sooner. 

“Tony, I want to have a talk with you before we retire for the night,” Maria says, and Tony tenses up. 

Rhodey can’t protect him from that, and he squeezes Tony’s hand as they walk behind his parents. 

“It’ll be okay,” he whispers. 

“Maybe,” Tony says. “Maybe.” 

- 

Rhodey goes into their building, and Howard waits in the car. He nods to Tony on his way out. 

“You’ve...changed,” mother says. 

“Well, that’s how humanity goes,” Tony says dryly, looking anywhere but her eyes. 

“Rock music? These snappish remarks towards your own mother? I don’t know if this college was such a good idea.” 

“It is,” Tony says. “I just...learned new things and incorporated it into my life. Nothing the matter with that.” 

“Nothing wrong with that?” Maria reiterates, surprised look on her face. “Rock music is for other people, you know things that others don’t know! You can perform violin and piano, you don’t have to listen to the personal manifestation of a headache!” 

“And if I like that headache?!” Tony asks. “If I like something that’s outside of what you approve, why so angry about it? Is it because you finally can’t control every single aspect about my identity? Is it because I’m not like your perfect little toy that you can make walk and talk how you like?” 

“You know it’s not that.” 

“Isn’t it?” Tony asks. “Because you want me to change every single interest that I’ve found I like by myself. I bet you want me to listen to Bach for fun.” 

“I do not want you to change from who you are,” Maria says. “You have eaten at the finest restaurants in the world and now you brag about making something called ramen in a microwave. A microwave?!” 

“A surprising amount of families in America have them,” Tony says. “And I’m a college student! I’m supposed to eat crappy food and then laugh about it in twenty years!” 

Maria turns red, and her lips screw up into a tight line. 

“I don’t think you should be here,” Maria says. “You’re forgetting your place. Your roommate is...” 

“My roommate is what,” Tony starts, glaring at her. “My roommate is what, mother? You want to honestly finish that sentence?” 

“He’s not good enough!” she yells at him. “You are a Stark!” 

Tony stares at her for a moment. And then another moment. 

“Leave,” he says. “Get the hell out of here.” 

“You don’t tell me-” 

“I do,” Tony says, using his full height to his advantage. “You can tell me how many times I’ve fucked up as many times as you want, but you never talk about James that way ever again.” 

He twists on his heel, forcefully opening the door to the dormitory and not once looking back. 

- 

Rhodey finds Tony back in his room when he gets back from getting ready for the night, and Tony is clutching a pillow and laying face down on the bed. 

“You know, you’ll have to turn over eventually to get some fresh air.” 

“Leave me to die, Rhodey. Oh my god.” 

“That bad?” 

“That bad. She’s probably going to try and put me in a prestigious college or some shit.” 

“Oof. Wanna fake your death and run away?” 

“Please.” 

“Well, too bad. I have a test next week, and you need to do your poetry notes.” 

“But poetry sucks.” 

“It only sucks because you don’t like modern poetry, suck it up and pull it out of your ass or something.” 

“Ugh, fine.” 

- 

Maria is trying very hard to get her son away from MIT and towards a fancy school in Europe. She doesn’t even care where, just away from his roommate and his classic rock posters and the dormitory. Anthony needs an environment where he can focus on networking, meeting more people. 

Howard says no. 

He can’t even bother to remember her son’s birthday, and he says “no.” 

“We need Anthony to go to an American school, and nothing is better besides maybe Cal Tech, and he’ll have to finish another year of college and Hammer Industries can use that as a sign of an unsteady heir.” 

“Well then get rid of his roommate.” 

“I’m not doing that, you’re asking for a PR death sentence.” 

“He’s a bad influence.” 

“No he’s not,” Howard says tiredly. “The kid is finally standing up for himself, and you hate that.” 

“I don’t hate that he can be his own person.” 

“You just wish he were his own person under your specifications,” Howard drawls. “He’s staying at MIT, that’s final.” 

“Hmph.” 

Howard rolls his eyes. 

“Go back to planning whatever charity gala you’re hosting this week, honey. I’m sure things will be fine.” 

Maria doesn’t speak against her husband, just fumes and decides she’s going to try to get Jarvis’ opinion. 

-

Edwin is also a flat no. 

“He will not forgive you if you do this,” he says, pouring her tea and adding in one sugar cube. “He loves his school, he talks about it all the time.” 

“And what, he calls you?” 

Edwin Jarvis realizes he shouldn’t have mentioned this. 

“At times, madam. At times. Will that be all?” 

“...that will be all.” 

Jarvis does bring up a good point. Besides her, of course, he knows Anthony best, even if he does keep calling him Tony. Anthony will grow out of that nickname soon enough. 

She has hope for her boy. He will most likely grow out of this silly little phase in life and finally appreciate her lessons. 

- 

Tony Stark doesn’t. 

Well, he learns her lessons. Can appreciate some of them and how much he hates that he uses them. 

But he learns a far more important lesson from Rhodey, and it shapes everything: 

“You’re your own person, and you’re far better as your own person,” Rhodey says. “I wanted to kick the shit out of you when we first lived together.” 

“You did?” 

“Of course I did!” Rhodey explains, gesturing with his coffee mug and getting yet another stain on the pillow. (Laundry again. Ugh.) “You talked like you were from a movie from the forties, it sucked.” 

“Oh, you mean the transatlantic accent?” 

“It’s pretentious, just ditch it. You’re interesting enough to listen to on your own. I listen to you talk about how much you hate Picasso sculpture, don’t I?” 

“You do,” Tony admits. 

“So then be yourself. Use what your mom taught you sometimes, but otherwise don’t.” 

“You sure?” 

“Of course I’m sure, I’m a fucking genius.” 

Tony snorts. 

“Okay, Mr. ‘I Forgot to Run the Dishes Again.’”

“I already said I was sorry!” 

-

Tony takes Rhodey’s advice into account when he walks into any board room. He wears the worst possible shoes with every single suit, usually uses all sorts of cultural references that fly over the old board members’ heads. 

He does things his way. It’s unconventional, it’s unpredictable, and it earns him a reputation. 

He’s in an interview in a suit and patterned tie (patterned with tiny robots), and the woman is smiling in a plastic way on the other side. 

“Now, a lot of people are saying you’re taking the business world by storm with your unconventional methods and personality. What helped you formulate this, your father?” 

“Oh god no,” Tony says, laughing. “He’d probably curse me to hell and back for even wearing this tie. My mother would drag me back down to hell again for this.” 

“Then who helped you with this?” 

“Rhodey, who else?” Tony asks. “He always gives the best advice, even if I’ll deny that about fifteen minutes later. He really is the reason that I’m who I am today.” 

“Seems like a great guy.” 

“He is. He always is,” Tony says with a grin. “Except, of course, when he doesn’t fold his laundry, that bastard.” 

The interviewer laughs and moves on, but Tony smiles to himself. 

He doesn’t have to be the best, he just has to be Rhodey’s. That’s all that matters.