#also saving my writing bones for that fic I want to write with them
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Today I'm feeling particularly insane about Scrapper/Starscream and it's maddening because I have nothing to show for it! It's a nothing burger ship, but it's MY nothing burger ship.
#talkingtalkingtalking#*frantically searching for scenes where scrapper and starscream stand next to eachother*#what if they had sex? uh?#what if TC was a cuck?#(TC is currently suppressing the urge to cuck Starscream himself but that's a whole other can of worms)#I should draw fanart for them but I know it won't appeal to anyone and people will not get it#also saving my writing bones for that fic I want to write with them
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gwi-nam smut....😈
JUST A DREAM — gwinam x fem!reader
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e00cf0b163aba03a3101c54d9af31d4e/06a8828e11f0cc3d-c1/s500x750/5882513c5b32858257a424fe782f9142b67b738c.webp)
۫ ꣑ৎ 。𖦹°‧⭑.ᐟ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄! LADIES one at a time.. im only one sexy woman.. but since y'all asked so politely (and 10 times in my inbox) here is your GWINAM SMUT.. also i'm so sorry if i haven't gotten back to you but rn based on requests i'm also writing a gwi-nam fluff and a thg story! plus updating cheong-san fic tmrw prob idk whenever i feel like it okay?!?!?!
y'all know the smut gonna be good when you never even HEARD of the warnings (i didn't know the names of the kinks until i googled them)
tw: somnophilia, dom!gwinam, sub!reader, humiliation, dacryphilia, orgasm denial, begging, p in v, oral (f receiving), begging, hybristophilia, hair pulling, slapping, creampie, no use of y/n (though no name or features are described).
as always, you're responsible for the media you consume. read if u want, don't if you don't.
wc: 2.3k
۫ ꣑ৎ 。𖦹°‧⭑.ᐟ
The hours had dragged on, each second thick with tension. One moment, you and On-Jo had been sitting close, sharing a quiet laugh as she nervously gushed about Bare-Su. Her voice had been light, teasing, but there was something raw in the way she spoke—something unspoken between you, an energy you couldn't quite place. Then, without warning, the world had shattered around you. The laughter faded into the harsh reality of your classmates turned monsters—feral, mindless creatures, chasing you down with a hunger you could feel deep in your bones.
The panic had set in quickly. The hallways had become a maze, the sound of shuffling footsteps and eerie growls echoing around you. You’d lost On-Jo, lost track of everything. Alone, terrified, you had found a classroom to hide in, slamming the door behind you, and for a brief moment, it had seemed like you were safe. But that security was short-lived.
The zombies had found the door, clawing at the wood, their nails scraping as they drew nearer. You knew you couldn’t stay here forever. The fear gripped you, cold and suffocating. You refused to let it end like this—not after you’d had to kill one of your own. You had to survive.
Taking a deep breath, you checked the door one last time. The sounds of the undead grew louder, and you knew it was only a matter of time before they broke through. Without thinking, you darted out of the classroom, running as fast as you could, the adrenaline coursing through your veins. Each step was desperate, each breath labored. Your heart pounded, not from exhaustion, but from the raw terror that fueled you forward.
You spotted the music room just ahead, a glimpse of hope in the chaos. You pushed open the door, slamming it behind you, your back pressed against it for a moment, trying to catch your breath. The quiet that enveloped you felt surreal after the chaos outside. The room was still, untouched, as if time had stopped. The air smelled of dust and old wood, but there was a certain calm to it, a strange peace you didn’t think you’d ever feel again.
You quickly scanned the room. It was empty, save for a broken piano and scattered instruments. In the corner, there was a closet—small, tucked away from view. You moved toward it with quick steps, but then froze. A body lay crushed under the piano, clawing at the air above you in a desperate attempt to eat your brain, a grotesque reminder of the horrors outside.
Shaking your head, you pushed the thought aside. You needed to focus. The last thing you wanted was to think about the things you’d just barely escaped. You moved to the farthest corner of the room, a chair in the corner catching your eye. With a tired sigh, you sank into it, your body aching, your mind still racing.
The room was silent again, and for a brief, fleeting moment, you allowed yourself to relax. Your muscles, tense from the fight and the fear, finally started to release. Your breathing slowed, but it was difficult to let go completely. You hadn’t let yourself rest in what felt like forever. The memories of the chaos—of your friends, of the ones you had lost—were fresh and raw in your mind.
You closed your eyes for just a moment, exhaustion overtaking you. The outside world felt far away, the sounds of the zombies muffled. Here, in this room, you were safe—for now.
And that was all that mattered.
۫ ꣑ৎ 。𖦹°‧⭑.ᐟ
A growing sense of pleasure blooming in your cunt snapped you out of your slumber, each sense reawakening. Your eyes shot downwards, the sight of an all too familiar boy filling your vision as he looked up from his seeming frenzy against your now throbbing clit.
Every part of you screamed to run, to get the hell back in that supply closet. It wasn't normal to be awoken by a tongue fucking into your hole, yet something about the far-from-vanilla scene had you gripping the sides of the chair.
"G-Gwinam.. What the fuck are you do..doing?" You stammered out, chest heaving. Your question was left hung in the air, filling the silence surrounding you. The only sounds able to be heard were the sound of his tongue lapping against your clit. The sight was erotic, your hands scrambling to catch a grip on anything, finally settling for his hair. You tugged instinctively, Gwinam's mouth opening in a groan that reverberated against your pussy.
Your legs twitched, nose and brows scrunching as you felt your climax arriving. The coil in your stomach was tightening, like the feeling at the brink of a rollercoaster. "I-I'm gonna.." You muttered out, lips curling into a pleasure-filled frown.
"You better fucking hold it, you slut," He warned, stopping his abuse against your clit. You grimaced, staring down at him as your hips jutted upwards.
His tongue swirled and delved deeper into your hole, two fingers joining his mouth. Your legs shook, hands pulling tighter on his hair.
Gwinam could feel his hard-on rub against his pants, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried not to focus on the overwhelming pressure he felt as you tugged on the strands of his black hair.
Finally, you couldn't take it anymore.
"I-I can't.." You whined out as the coil inside you unleashed and broke. The rollercoaster had fallen, and your cum was now spilling out onto your thighs and his face.
He licked and slurped at your clit as you rode out your high, a post-nut clarity washing over you as your eyes widened. You were far too loud, and the zombies would surely come. Without thinking, you pushed him down, stumbling as your legs shook while you tried to make your way to the supply closet.
Suddenly, Gwinam's strong forced pushed you against the wall, forearm against your neck. You attempted to claw at him, but he simply used his free hand to pin them upward. "Where y'gonna run now, huh?" He teased, biting down on your neck, "You don't wanna listen? I'll show you how to fucking listen, whore."
A loud slap emitted, a pink stain echoing against your cheek.
Tears brimmed your eyes, slowly falling down your face as a choked sob escaped your throat. You struggled against him, watching the sadistic smirk plaster on his face, eyes widened as the pupils traced the line of your salty cries.
"Please, Gwinam. W-We'll die." You stammered out, eyes widened as you tried to search for any trace of humanity in his eyes.
You didn't find it.
"You're so fucking hot when you cry." He groaned, pushing his mouth against yours roughly. It seemed he didn't have a care whether you kissed back, shoving his tongue down your mouth.
You wanted to resist, really, you did.
But the way he rutted his hips against you knew that you didn't want anything more than for him to fuck your brains out.
A moan fell from your mouth and into his, Gwinam's grip on your neck finally releasing as he used that hand to pull up one of your thighs. In a synchronized daze of horniness, you both grinded against each other in a desperate attempt to chase your high once more.
He grabbed your arms, dragging you to the window. Your face was pressed against it, breasts smushing against the glass as his hands carelessly fondled your ass.
Gwinam stuck in two fingers, stretching your tight pussy for what was to come. "If you cum before I let you, I'll kill you."
You knew he was serious. You just didn't have it in you to care.
One hand snakes up your back, wrapping around your neck as if he was the serpent and you were the forbidden fruit.
Squeezing, you let out a broken sob, purple bruises forming in the shape of his fingertips. He pressed his hips against yours at your cries, eyes rolling to the back of his head. There was nothing more erotic to him than fucking you while there were zombies mere metres away from you.
Agonizingly slow, he pulled your skirt down. With a huff, you impatiently forced the fabric down, pooling at your ankles. With a raspy chuckle, he leaned in close and pulled your ear lobe, "You just really can't wait to have me cum in you, isn't that right?"
He had you at a loss of words, biting your lip until it bled. Gwinam pulled you back by your neck, back pressed against his hard chest, "Answer me when I talk to you, slut," He warned, squeezing tighter.
With all the might you had left in you, you breathed out, "Y-Yes.. I can't wait.." Hearing your tears behind your words had precum dripping and his cock practically begging to burst.
Knowing he wouldn't last much longer if you both kept up with the constant teasing, his hands finally let their grip off you and to his pants. Your hands now pressed against the glass, your head dropped to avoid the painstaking scene of dead and dying classmates on the field outside.
As Gwinam finally dropped his pants and boxers, he let out a freakish grin seeing your distaste toward the chaos outside. Grabbing your jaw, he forced you to stare ahead as his pink tip circled your soaked hole.
It was all too much. You felt your pussy throbbing as you tried to find any way to make the dominance Gwinam was exhibiting less arousing.
"Watch them as I fuck you, Mouse," He purred into your ear, pushing his hard cock in slowly. You felt him stretch your fleshy walls, a soft groan sounding from both your throats simultaneously, "You wanna be good for me, don't you?"
You nodded with a whine, turning back to look at him with round eyes. He ran a finger across your lips before turning your head back to the window, angling his dick at your entrance.
As per his usual style, he gave no time in letting you adjust, immediately setting his rough pace. Each thrust let out a loud slap that echoed, angering the zombie under the piano further.
Your senses were slowly diminishing until you were just as brain-dead as the zombies—minus the dead part. Your hair pulled back by his hand, the one on your jaw now letting go and squeezing your ass. Though he had now let go of your face, you still remained looking out the window.
You wanted to be good for Gwinam. You were good for Gwinam.
Your emotions built up in your chest. Every erotic and devastated emotion. You wept as you watched the few survivors that made a break for the schools gates get eaten alive, slowly cracking and turning.
"Fuck—I love it when you cry, baby," He moaned, throwing his head back as his pace quickened.
Your eyes squeezed shut, feeling the slight overstimulation only enhance the pleasure you were feeling. Gwinam reached down, thumb instantly finding your clit and rubbing fast circles, matching his perfect pace against your throbbing cunt.
Your hole squeezed against his dick, and he 'tsked', "Don't you think about cumming." You nodded, placing a hand on your stomach. You could feel his dick sliding in and out of you, each time stretching your hole so that it would only ever be the right size for him.
He was marking you as his, and you didn't want it any other way.
Gwinam's hips stuttered, pace growing sloppy and uneven, "I'm gonna cum in you, okay baby?" He growled in your ear, licking a stripe down your jaw and to your collarbone, "I'm gonna make you mine, and you're gonna take my cum."
You felt yourself reaching the edge at his words, soft cries releasing from your throat as all you wanted to do was squirt all over his veiny length.
"Please.. Please let me cum, Gwinam, I'll be good," You whined, rutting your hips backwards against his, meeting them in the middle and bringing you both so much closer to your edge.
He shook his head, pulling your hair and causing a shriek to emit from your throat. He wanted nothing more than to have you creaming all over him, but he knew the pleasure he felt from commanding you was even better.
Gwinam bent forward against you, and he groaned as you reached back and pulled his hair. He grabbed your neck as he felt his high approach, knowing he wouldn't be able to take it much longer.
Finally giving you permission, Gwinam bit his lip, nodding his head, "Yeah, baby. Cum with me. I want you to cum." He muttered almost incoherently, and his approval was enough to snap the coil once more.
Following after you seconds after, you both continued your desperate movements against each other until the ropes of his semen remained inside your vagina.
The floor underneath you was dampened by your shots of cum, legs faltering. You fell against the window, Gwinam grabbing you by your waist and carrying your half-naked body into the supply room.
You were practically asleep as your body fucked-dumb was weak. He lay you on a sofa in the closet, not bothering to cover you up.
He knelt down, licking a stripe in your pussy filled with his cum. He could taste himself, salty and warm, the overstimulation causing your hips to jut upwards as your half-asleep self muttered under your breath.
Gwinam stood up, staring at you for a moment, before turning and heading toward the broadcasting room.
Maybe when you woke up, you'd think it was all just a dream, and would go back to fearing for your life—But the cum spilling out of you made you know that whatever had happened was real—and you knew you would want more.
#all of us are dead#all of us are dead ff#aouad#cheongsan#gwinam#onjo#gwi nam#gwi nam x reader#gwinamxreader#gwinam smut#aouad smut#nayeon#bare su#suhyeok#suhyeok x reader
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deep touch
capt. john price
cw: smut & fluff, chronic pain, soft dom!price, comfort fic, husband!price, wife!reader, massages, price is a good man, side by side/spooning position, wife kink
bunny says: chronic pain nation rise!!! i've been battling some pretty bad pains in my legs, thank god that writing is a sedentary activity!
you knew you had chronic pain, the thing about it was that you could go days feeling decent but, out of nowhere it would all change and you'd be achy all over. with it largely concentrated in your legs.
the rain only made it worse, it was july in the sleepy seaside town you lived in with your husband and there were very few tourists due to the frequent rain. the rain also brought a new challenge, the sleepiness.
you wanted to be awake to spend as much time with your husband now that he was home from his most recent deployment. but at shreds of sunlight were cast between the gaps in rain clouds, you felt lethargic.
you stirred a little and rolled to your side to get your phone. the bed felt welcoming against the aches in your bones. the joints and the muscles wanted nothing else to do but lie there. but you knew that you couldn't be there all day.
you forced yourself up, and put on your slippers before you headed to the kitchen. before you left the bedroom, you put one of price's sweatshirts on yourself as a form of a comfort blanket.
you hobbled to the kitchen and got yourself a cup of ginger tea. it was a little hot for it, so you often let it sit until the cup grew cold. once it poured, you left it and went to go find your husband.
price looked from the morning news to you, he had a cup of coffee in hand which he quickly put down, "hey there, baby girl." he said, "someone's a little stiff this mornin'?"
you chuckled a little, "yeah, you know how it is. rains for three days and suddenly all my joints are mad at me. i thought after all this time, my body would get used to rainy england." you sat down on the couch next to your husband and he pulled you into his chest. you relaxed a little, feeling the soft strength of your husband's chest. even the old shirt he was wearing felt nice.
"well, i guess that means i have to take care of my wife today."
you sighed, "you're supposed to be relaxing, john. you were away for almost three months. let me spoil you."
he kissed the top of your head, "no need to, love. you let me take care of everything, you save your strength."
you sighed, "tomorrow, it'll be better. and then i can make those muffins for you that gladys across the road really liked. and i can also make dinner for you, and you can just sit on the couch with a beer and watch football."
he kissed your head once more to keep you down, "love. if it gets better and you better not lie to me about the pain. i'm going to be home for six months, you have more than enough time to make me every recipe from that little cook book of yours."
"i just wanna make being home feel special." you huffed.
he chuckled, "don't worry, love. just bein' able to be here with you is more than enough to make it special. to have a home."
he just held you for a while, letting you be close to him. the pain was a discomfort that lingered in your body. you wish you could like detach parts of your body and like run them through the wash so they'd stop hurting.
"i hate the pain."
"and i hate seein' ya in pain, love. now why don't i get you some breakfast."
you sighed, "can you rub my legs first, you always know how to help it." your voice sounded so small.
"of course." he said, "i'd love nothing more." he gave you that sweet smile of his as he carefully moved you so he could put your legs on his lap. you noticed that he checked for anything swollen or discoloration. he was too good at this sometimes.
he wanted to make sure his woman was in tip-top shape. he then started to gently rub at your calves. his strong fingers worked into the muscles of your legs. you let out a whimpering noise every time he hit just the right spot. he would stop and you'd give him a thumbs up to assure him that you were a-okay.
"it just feels good." you said as he moved up into your thighs. the noises were almost erotic if it weren't for the pain you were in. that was one thing about dating an army man, was that you would never have to pay for a massage ever again!
"good girl." he praised, "you are always so strong. i'm so proud of you."
he worked the limbs and you were thankful for it. by the time he was finished, you were practically asleep on the couch. price chuckled and grabbed the throw blanket
it wasn't easy, but love wasn't meant to be the easiest thing in the world. and price was going nowhere.
-
the next morning, you were feeling better. and when you turned over, you were greeted to the sight of your husband laid out beside you. he had his glasses on and his phone too close to his face.
you shifted closer to him and kissed him on the cheek, "good morning."
he looked over, he looked like such an old man with those glasses on. he put his phone down and took them off to get closer to you. he wrapped his strong arm around your shoulders and gently pulled you towards him so he could kiss you, "there's the most beautiful woman in the world."
"oh shush."
"how ya feelin'?" he asked.
you looked up at him, "can i be honest?" you felt heat in your cheeks.
price held your face and replied, "i wouldn't want anythin' else." then smiled at you. he was such a comforting presence in your life. your husband was a good few years older than you, but he was as gentle as a lamb with you.
"i'm.. i'm in less pain. the knees are still a little bothersome. but i am actually really horny." you wanted to look away but price had his grasp on you.
"oh really?" he asked, "my little wife is all turned on?"
you replied, "i am. i always get turned on after you dote on me all day. it's like my brain is making up for the hurt it put me through by giving me those feel good chemicals." you laughed a little.
"well, then." he said as he pulled away a little to take off his white t-shirt. you got a good look at his bare toned, hairy chest. he said, "get on your other side, facing away from me. then you don't have to be on your knees."
you face went hotter as you said, "i love you so much."
he chuckled as he pushed the blankets off of the both of you, "my love, i'm never gonna deny my wife what she needs. if that's massages or a good fuckin' then i'm there. because that's what a husband does."
you gave him a quick kiss before you turned over and got your bottom half naked. you felt him get behind you, his cock was stiffening at the feeling of your ass.
his big hands took a hold of you and lifted your right leg so he could have access to your pussy. you could feel his hairy chest through the fabric of your t-shirt.
it was like a comofrting hug, a peaceful feeling of you and your husband making love. you relaxed against the bed and held onto the pillow under your head.
"does it hurt?" he asked softly.
"no, no. none of the pain was in my hips."
he kissed you neck tenderly, "good, good. tell me if it started hurting. i need you to communicate with me."
your other hand held his arm that was draped over your waist. slowly he sank his cock into you, you felt so protected and the pain was minimal. price was such a giving lover, that was the kind of man he was. he wanted to make sure that you felt loved even when he was away.
he rested his chin on your shoulder as bother arms got around you and he started to softly hump against you. his cock felt snug in your cunt. his thrusts were light and quick, but it still built pleasure in both of you.
you held on tightly to your husband as he rutted against you. you could feel the excitement in your chest as your husband made love to you.
"this is how a husband should treat his wife. treat her like the perfect woman she is." he kissed the shell of your ear, "you're perfect. i lucked out, i don't know what god put you in my arms but i hope he is being worshiped till the end of time." he chuckled as he gave you another series of kisses up against the nape of your neck.
"please, john." you moaned, "you're making me hot all over."
he replied softly, "good, i love when you're all hot in the face." his pace was a bit faster now. the pleasure coursed through his veins at the feeling of his beautiful wife's sweet pussy.
the sex was tender. it was soft. it felt good for your aching body and it felt amazing to be loved so tenderly by your husband. you moaned softly against the pillow.
price pressed his forehead against your back as he thrusted into you. his grip on you was firm but light. you weren't getting out of his grasp. he panted against your heated skin.
"i'm close, honey." you whimpered.
he nodded, "me too, love." he picked up the pace a little further, keeping an ear out for your noises so he could make sure he wasn't hurting you.
with a few more thrusts of his hips, you both came at the same time. your heightened sounds paired with the low groan your husband made as the two of you finished.
"my woman." he said as he kissed the center of his back.
he pulled out, but his softening cock rested against your ass as you got comfortable in his burly arms. it was such a protective force all that muscle and fuzz up against your back.
"that's my girl." he mumbled closely into your ear. his facial hair brushed against it.
"i love you, john."
"and i love you, even with all your aches and pains. you know i'm no spring chicken either." he chuckled softly as he laid there close to you, feeling your heated body next to him.
"neither of us are." you chuckled as you turned over a little to kiss him on the lips. <3
#bunny writes#call of duty#reader insert#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty smut#call of duty x reader#captain john price#john price cod#john price#captain john price smut#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#captain price#captain price smut#john price smut#john price x reader#price cod#captain johnathan price
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The dad Aventurine fic genuinely made me want to cry but now i can't stop thinking of something
Imagine Aventurine having an extremely chaotic kid, like one of those kids where u take your eyes off of them 00.1 seconds and they 10 broken bones, have broken at least 15 vases and is currently on a sugar rush from eating too much candy.
It can be either a boy or a girl! Im very in love with your writing and i'd love to see your own thoughts on this Idea. Overall just Aventurine having to deal with his little demon spawn
The Greatest Award
Summary: Aventurine’s life is a high-stakes game, but nothing could prepare him for the chaos of parenting his five-year-old child. In a single afternoon, his once-luxurious office is reduced to shambles, courtesy of a sugar-fueled miniature whirlwind. As Aventurine tries to reign in the chaos with his usual charm and strategy, he learns that even the sharpest gambler can’t outwit the boundless energy and imagination of their own child.
Tags: Dad!Aventurine and his demon spawn child, Parent-Child Bonding, Domestic Chaos, Fluff and Humor, Mischievous Child, Found Family Themes.
Warnings: Mildly Destructive Child Antics, Implied Past Trauma(?), Excessive Use of Candy and Paint.
A/N: I lost my previous fic i wrote about this req, seems like it didn't save... 😭😔����. So, have this while I cry with my broken back 😪
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The room, once an opulent display of Aventurine’s impeccable taste, now resembled the aftermath of a casino heist gone wrong. The velvet curtains had been pulled down, puddling on the floor like fallen royalty. His priceless roulette-themed rug? Drenched in some unidentifiable sticky substance that smelled faintly of caramel.
And in the center of it all stood the culprit—Aventurine’s five-year-old child, grinning like a miniature devil. Their hair, much like their father’s, was streaked with suspiciously bright blue paint. In their hand, they wielded what appeared to be the broken leg of an antique chair as if it were a sword, declaring, “I’m the Ruler of the Candy Castle!”
“Darling,” Aventurine’s voice was sharp but calm, his smile firmly in place despite the chaos around him. “Care to explain why my baccarat table is missing a leg?”
The child tilted their head, pretending to think. “A monster ate it.”
“A monster?” Aventurine pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a rare migraine brewing. “Was it the same monster who broke three vases, emptied my desk drawer of poker chips, and decided my coat rack was a jungle gym?”
They nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, and then it told me candy makes monsters go away!”
Before he could respond, they took off like a rocket, their tiny feet thundering across the marble floor.
“Darling—” Aventurine began, but they were already scaling a bookshelf like some kind of sugar-fueled mountain goat.
For a moment, he simply stared, calculating the odds of them not breaking a limb versus the likelihood of toppling the entire structure. Slim to none. He reached out just in time to catch them mid-leap, their laughter ringing in his ears as he set them firmly back on the ground.
“Listen, kitten,” he said, crouching down to meet their wild eyes. “You’re giving Daddy a run for his money, and I don’t lose. But if you keep this up, I might have to start betting on when you’ll turn the entire estate into rubble.”
They gasped dramatically. “You’d bet on me?”
“Absolutely.” He tapped their nose. “But I’d also bet that if you sat down for five minutes—five minutes, mind you—I’d let you pick out the next ridiculous hat I wear to work.”
Their eyes sparkled with devious glee. “Even the one with the feathers?”
Aventurine suppressed a groan. He had gambled with empires, conned royalty, and survived assassination attempts, yet this small, chaotic creature could bring him to his knees with a single demand. “Even the one with the feathers.”
They pretended to consider his offer before darting off again, leaving Aventurine in their wake. A crash echoed from the next room, followed by an enthusiastic, “Oops!”
He stood, smoothing his blazer as he surveyed the wreckage of his once-pristine office. This was just another high-stakes game, he reminded himself. The rules were unconventional, the opponent unpredictable, but Aventurine always played to win.
“Alright, darling,” he called, striding after them. “You’ve forced my hand. It’s time to introduce you to the most dangerous weapon in Daddy’s arsenal.”
They peeked out from behind an overturned chair, curious. “What is it?”
He smirked, pulling out a deck of cards. “A little thing called discipline.”
Their giggle echoed through the halls, and Aventurine couldn’t help but laugh too. Because despite the chaos, the broken vases, and the candy-fueled mayhem, he wouldn’t trade his little demon spawn for all the chips in the universe.
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#x reader#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#hsr aventurine#aventurine x reader#hsr aventurine x reader#aventurine x you#dad!aventurine#fluff#domestic chaos#parent child bonding#humor#mischievous child#found family themes
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Bound: Truth to Materials
It’s done!
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I have a colour printer now. Can you tell? Lol.
This is, of course, a bind of my own co-authored fic with lately, who is not on Tumblr much/at all, and not under that name. (Apparently I continue to have the idea that I must try out new techniques on my own work first?)
The fic features artist Draco, so I went with that theme for the book design. I also used Canva for the first time, which was a mix of frustration (“whyyyy doesn’t it do this thing Illustrator does???”) and joy (so! much! stock! art!!!) I actually wound up banging the cover doc back into Illustrator because I didn’t trust the lack of guides and dimensions for measuring the cover, but the export was fairly seamless, so that was fine.
Back cover blurbs feat. @moonflower-rose because their comment made me lol so much when I went digging for gold in the comments. Also @thehoneybeet! (I feel weird putting my own reviews on the cover but I’m pretending they’re all directed at lately.)
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More blathering under the cut.
For the wrap cover: glossy legal photo paper laminated in a matte legal 3mil pouch — two covers back to back so only the front gets laminated. I actually tried this first on plain paper but the ink bled in spots from the glue moisture and the whole thing delaminated as the glue struck through. I think the glossy coating provides a better barrier between ink and glue. I also used straight PVA on the second go, reasoning that it carries less water. Seemed to work?
Ran into some troubles with hinges delaminating, though, I think more from flexing and the bone folder than moisture? I can see why the IG Dramione binding girlies use the soft touch laminate — less than half the thickness. I haven’t bought any yet though, not sure I am that keen?
The endpapers are foiled but I was annoyed with the folding obscuring the words — might have to be more cautious with that in future.
All the chapter headers are artworks pulled from the bestmuseumbum hashtag on the bird site. It was very fun finding them. (This fic started with a Louvre visit in which lately and I very maturely admired many sculpted arses so there’s a theme.)
Endbands are sewn with embroidery floss and they came out sooo shiny and neat. One strand of floss per wrap is the way to go, even though it’s slow and fine work.
The rest of the bind is unremarkable — legal quarto, sewn French links, bradel-style case.
The cover came out quite 90s which I kind of love. As I’ve said before, and at risk of dating both of us, co-author lately and I met in our young teens, and that was…in the 90s. The earlier part. So a 90s vibe cover for the first fic we managed to co-write since that time? Perfect. Saved by the Bell goodness.
So… cover wraps… I am not sure! I think it’s probably cheaper than even homemade book cloth, but I imagine the archival quality is not great with all the plastic involved. But then same with HTV. I will almost certainly do it again, especially if I want to do something like a book that’s disguised as a textbook or magazine. While I love the artwork available in Canva, I definitely felt like my own creativity was less present? Hard to describe.
One little technical problem that I’m solving: endpapers didn’t stick to the hinge insides fully, not sure if the wrapped spine is too wide or it’s a lamination not liking glue thing or… but the problem is minor. Something to troubleshoot next time.
#bookbinding#fanbinding#case binding#drarry fanbinding#drarry#hp fanbinding#truth to materials#toomuchplor
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duos silices ad ignem
Just a Rollo fic I wrote based off of this post
I write Reader/Yuu as female
Also my writing may be a bit biased but I refuse to write Deuce as nothing but a sweetheart even in an angst fic
“You’re ‘used to it’?” Rollo repeats incredulously, looking at you as though you’ve gone barmy, “Oh you poor thing. I can’t blame you for becoming numb to the absurdity after spending every day swimming in it.”
You open your mouth, ready to dismiss his words and defend yourself, but you find the words clogging up at your throat, refusing to leave. The stoic Student Council President continued to look at you, concern overcasting his features, so you swallow thickly as you feel your heartbeat in your ears and mutter that you think you hear Professor Trein calling you before making a much too hasty exit.
You’ll admit that initially, yes, the concept of magic terrified you. Why wouldn’t it? After spending a lifetime without it and then being thrown into the both metaphorical and literal lions’ den with no support whatsoever was the stuff of nightmares. Especially when you consider your first overblot, where everyday was the physical representation of out of the frying pan and into the fire.
But you learned to see the beauty of magic, learned to see how it can help and heal, how it can mend broken bones in seconds instead of months, how it can protect you and make you soar.
Though why do you feel resentful? Why do you feel that tang of bitterness when you’d see someone wave their pens and have an entire room spotless in a blink of an eye? Why does it cause such discomfort to witness a meal magically prepped to perfection? Why does watching your classmates using spells to play around in class and make their life easier fill you up with so much dread?
You love magic so why do you still flinch?
‘Maybe,” your mind supplies, “it’s because they’re so used to it. They’re so lackadaisical about throwing around spells because it comes to them without a thought. To them it’s mundane. To you - well, it’s proof that you don’t belong here, that you’re not yet home.”
Later on you find yourself sitting in isolation on a bench, far removed from the festivities of your peers, as you watch them produce fireworks with seamless flicks of their wrists, laughing gaily with every spark and flicker.
Why was it that a complete stranger could see you, hear your unspoken thoughts, much better than an entire castle full of people that you’ve spent months with? Why was it that this wiry, unfeeling, looming presence was able to piece together what was laid out in front of him much better than the people you brushed with death with to save?
Was it pity? The thought should have filled you with offense, that this person you just met is treating you with such infantilising condescension. How dare he patronise you without even knowing what you’ve done, what you’ve lived through, how you’re barely holding on to the tattered shreds of your sanity before it slips through your fingers-
How dare he be so right.
Maybe it is pity, maybe his patronising words were warranted. Maybe, just maybe, you’re so desperate that you’ll take it, that you’ll take anything if it meant someone would look close enough to see that you’re not okay, that you want out.
You’re left alone with your thoughts now, as you watch your schoolmates with a blank look, your eyes fixated on their high spirits but not quite seeing them. Your thoughts that liked to remind you of how small you are, how insignificant against the might that was magic, how easy it was for you to sign away your life to Azul with a simple signature, how eye contact or a few words was all it took for Jamil and Ruggie to own your mind and body, how Vil cursed your food without a word to you nor a care in the world.
How completely breakable you are in this twisted world of vices and villains.
Even the other first years, who are considered the least powerful in regards to magical capability, could end you as fast as lightning flashes.
You think back on the scars that coiled and burned along your skin, how the foreign slivers of jagged discolouration were littered along your body, a sadistically twisted storybook that mapped out your past, present and future torment. The deep reddish-purple lesions and inky black cracks that spiderwebbed your once young, innocent and untouched complexion were nothing more than a perpetual reminder of all that you’ve lost, all that’s been taken from you in this world. That you weren’t who you once were and you can never go back to being her.
(“Deuce,” you whispered to your friend late into the night. Ace and Grim were contentedly dozing away on the mattress you’d placed on the floor of Ramshackle’s living room, leaving you and Deuce the only ones awake on your couch, the dim light of the television bathing you in opalescence and and the tinny sounds it played turning into white noise. “Yeah,” he replied, his voice just barely a mutter but you heard it loud and clear. “Have,” you took a breath and looked down at your twiddling fingers, “have you ever looked at a mirror and saw a stranger?”
“Yeah, I have,” Deuce replied. Your head cants upwards and you see his blue eyes piercing through the darkness, “it was right after I heard my mum crying on the phone to my grandma. I didn’t know who I was. I just knew I didn’t want to be who I saw.”)
But it’s okay now because they are your friends.
That’s the mantra you chanted as you surveyed everyone in front of you.
Riddle who called you pathetic who didn’t hesitate to make a mockery of you who attacked you with both his words and his thorny rage, diligently listening to an NBC student explain the history of Fleur City.
They are your friends
Deuce who was your best friend who you trusted with your life who you can’t tell any of this to and Epel who’s a victim like you who wants out like you who’s still destined to hurt you like everyone else, talking animatedly about their magical wheels as they eat their candy apples.
They are your friends
Ruggie who can control you with one word who still has the fangs and claws of a predator who you still don’t know if you can trust, munching on as many baked goods as he could.
They are your friends
Azul who’s sadistic and manipulative and uses and takes for his own benefit who happily made you homeless and still has everything despite all that he’s done who’s predatory eyes burn you whenever he’s near, looking for your next weakness to exploit and Jamil who used and kidnapped and manipulated you who hypnotised you and ripped away what little control you had whilst playing pretend as your friend who took pleasure in your suffering were surveying the stalls, asking the vendors questions about their wares. For some reason, the thought of joining them felt like acid crawling up your throat.
They are your friends
Rook who’s an enabler just like everyone else who watched on as his housewarden cursed your food and tried to poison and kill someone who can easily hunt you down and find you no matter where you are or how well you hide, laughing along with everyone’s merriment and spouting out verbose french poetry that you weren’t sure you wanted to understand.
They are your friends
Idia who took Grim from you who unlike everyone else was an actual genuine friend before he overblotted who played his part just like everyone else did, looking like he found Nirvana as he was surrounded by stray cats and kittens.
They are your friends
Silver who you don’t even know yet who could still be part of this twisted ploy to cause your downfall who could hide a person as sadistically corrupted like everyone else, napping on a bench near Sebek who hates your existence who hates that a human would dare to breathe the same air as his liege who doesn’t even hide his contempt for you who was watching Malleus who’s never there who never helps who just does what he wants and you can’t say anything because who are you compared to him with his usual starry-eyed worship.
They are your friends. They’ve changed. It’s alright now, You easily washed away the red of their sins so everything’s all good. You’ve moved on - forgive and forget, right? Sure they hurt you but it’s all water under the bridge. They won’t hurt you again. So why, why-
Then why does your stomach feel like lead now. Why do your eyes sting so badly, pinpricks dotting the edges of them as you feel the telltale drip of water run down your cheek.
All you want is to survive
But how do you survive in a world that wants you dead?
Apart from Ace, Deuce, Grim and the ghosts that haunt your dorm, not one person looked at you and saw you as someone other than the magicless prefect who stops overblots and cleans up messes that they had nothing to do with. Not one person who’s hurt you had stopped to think that you were someone who could feel hurt, that your feelings matter, that you don’t fight death every other second because you want to but because it’s the only way you could survive in a place where you have been abandoned.
Shakespeare was right. There are daggers in men’s smiles. In every predatory grin, in every saccharine leer, in every simper that coiled and tightened around you like a serpent, with its poison-laced fangs prodding at your carotid, just waiting to strike.
You feel him before you see him, his lanky figure joining you in your shadowed refuge. Without a word, he sits down beside you.
“Do you believe in fate?” you ask idly, your stare never once wavering from where you watched Professor Trein who’s in on it who, just like every other adult, has failed you who never once punished anyone except you and your fellow students, “that things happen and there’s nothing we can do about it because that’s just how things are meant to be? That the people who do bad things just get to do those things and everyone’s supposed to live with it because that’s how the story is written?”
He regards you for a second and then turns and looks straight ahead with a gaze like steel, “I believe in justice. That without it, humanity is doomed to live in a delusion of peace. I believe that the only way to be truly free from the sins that swarm and bite us, that follow us around like a plague, is to take the reins ourselves and use our power to free us from them. The past is just a tragic history but the future has several names: for the weak, it is impossible; for the fainthearted, it is unknown; but for the valiant, it is ideal. And once the gavel of justice has done its duty in punishing the wicked and freeing the innocent, even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.”
You feel a cold, thin hand placed over yours and you let it rest there. It was grounding, comforting.
Maybe, it’s about time you stop being a victim of the narrative and take control of your own story. You’ll rid yourself of your tragic ending and fashion a new happily ever after.
In NRC, you found horrors beyond your comprehension.
In Rollo, you think you’ve found your guardian angel.
#twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#rollo flamm#rollo flamme#rollo flamme x reader#rollo flamm x reader#fem reader
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Hi! I love your writing so so much!!
If possible, could you do one where the reader has been working overtime at work and is exhausted, like they've been having headaches and barely sleeping & Frank notices and basically convinces them and helps them to take a break? Thank you!! 💕❤️
KEEP ME COMPANY ’TIL THE END ➵ F. CASTLE
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Summary: You’re pushing yourself past your limits for work and Frank intervenes.
Warnings: Stress, mostly fluff, gender neutral reader, language
Word count: 770
Author’s note: Hiiii my loves! I am so sorry for being MIA, this semester is kicking my ass :( Rn it seems like my posts will be a little infrequent because I have sooo many deadlines before Christmas, but I’m gonna try my best!! I have not forgotten about all your requests!! Thank you so much for your patience, thank you also for 900 followers, that’s so wack but I am so grateful <3 Anon, I hope you enjoy this short fic and that you forgive me for being so slow to get this out. Much love!
A brewing headache pinched at your temples and you were painfully aware that every minute you spent staring at your outrageously bright laptop screen only sealed your fate tighter and tighter. It was getting late but you still felt like you had so much to do; like you had barely scratched the surface of all your responsibilities. You had only taken a break to go to the bathroom and reluctantly eat something when Frank had insisted on it, and now the tension from sitting on the couch with your laptop huffing and puffing on your thighs was starting to seep into your shoulders and neck.
Frank didn’t like it, the way you worked yourself to the bone, but he had swallowed down his complaints when you had promised to wrap things up within the hour. Still, you could feel his scrutinizing stare on you from across the couch, his attention on your focused frown rather than the football game he was supposed to be watching. He was itching to say something, to force you away from the suffocating bubble of stress, but he was trying to be patient — though the scratched label of his beer bottle said plenty.
When you winced at the pulsating headache behind your eye, though, he cleared his throat and reached for your laptop.
”Hey! Frank, noooo. I’m not done”, you insisted, trying to get the device back but he was quick to save your document and then slap it closed before you could retrieve it. He angled it behind his back and tutted at you, disapproving of the way you were pushing yourself for the sixth day in a row.
”Nah, sweetheart, I’m tellin’ you, you’re gonna waste away if you don’t take a break. You’ve been at it all day, aight? I want you here with me, not worryin’ about shit”, he argued back, your pout doing nothing to sway him. He always caved in and gave you what you wanted — unless your health and sanity were at stake.
You frowned, a sudden surge of guilt swinging at your chest. ”I guess I’ve been kinda neglecting you…”, you admitted with shame. That had never been your intention, but you couldn’t deny that you had not been a very present partner lately.
Shaking his head, Frank set the beer on the coffee table and took your hand in his own. ”It ain’t about that, darlin’. It’s the fact that this is wearin’ you out. I know you ain’t sleepin’ and I gotta jump through all these hoops to just get you to eat. I’m worried, y’know?” he explained, his tone stern but still warm. He was trying his hardest to be understanding, but he took your well-being too personally to let this newfound routine go on.
You managed a nod and squeezed his hand. ”I know, Frankie, I’m sorry, it’s just… there’s so much to do and I can’t fall behind”, you tried to rationalize your persistent working, and he sighed softly, not out of frustration but to acknowledge the difficult situation.
”I get it, sweetheart. But no one can expect you to be efficient at this hour, aight? You need to rest, too. Yeah?” Frank pointed out, tilting his head to catch your gaze. He was right and you knew it, so begrudgingly, you admitted defeat.
”Okay. I’ll limit myself”, you agreed, and with the concern in his eyes slowly fading, Frank nodded approvingly. He placed the laptop on the table before opening his arms for you, gesturing for you to cuddle up to him. The invitation made you smile and seeing joy on your face for the first time all day got Frank’s lips twitching, too.
You nestled against him and he wrapped you into a cocoon of safety and warmth, hoping to distract you from the stress lingering on your mind. It was hard not to think about all the work you could have been doing, and Frank suspected as much.
”I know it ain’t easy to just turn it off. But you deserve a break, baby. And I’m fuckin’ proud of you for all your effort, but I’ll be proud if you cut back a lil, too”, he spoke up after a moment of just cuddling, and with your heart soaring at his praise, you tilted your head up so you could kiss his jaw tenderly.
”Thank you, Frank. Love you”, you muttered, feeling the exhaustion of the past week creep up on you. Frank noticed, but he was glad — you needed sleep, and he was going to try and help you do it however he could.
”Love you too, sweetheart.”
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Thank youuu
I love them too, I'm thinking of having them as a big brother/little brother duo maybe?? Anyway here's them buying tea for the base like stereotypical Brits
Ok first time I read this my heart melted because it's so sweet :]
I keep thinking up aus for mw2, but they're all too complicated for a one-off comic, and I just finished a series so I'm not doing another one for the time being. But I had a superpower au for them, that I'm gonna explain under a read more because I know it's gonna be long lmao
But before that thank you for everyone again! I read all your lovely comments and they warm my heart <333
SO in this au, some people gain powers the first time they die. The powers are based on how they died (also when they die they meet these cool eldritch beings called reapers that have a little chat with them to decide if they're worthy of those powers).
Soap died from an explosion. Got blown out of a building. So his powers are explosion resistance and creation. His fingertips are always on fire because he's practically blowing the air around them all the time.
Gaz fell off a helicopter :( so now he can manipulate gravity, either objects around him or himself. He also floats a few inches off the ground most times.
Price was kinda hard for me to decide but I ended up making him die by abandonment. Now he can telepathically communicate with people.
And Ghost... he died in that coffin. Got pulled out by a reaper and received the powers to control limbo, the space between life and death. He's not authorized to use them unless he's alone, so he gets sent on solo missions only, until Price recruits him to the 141.
That is, until he pairs up with Ghost.
Before being recruited to the 141, Soap mainly defused bombs. Since, even if it's too late, he won't die. Thing is, Soap still gets hurt. His bones get crushed, his heart stops, his limbs get torn apart. He does heal, but the worse the injury, the longer it takes.
That made him kinda depressed. Because he felt like a glorified bomb robot. Except he's cheaper, since it doesn't cost the military any money when he fails to defuse on time.
Ghost isn't immune to bombs. He himself doesn't enter limbo, since that traps anything alive.
He and Soap go on a mission where intel suggests the enemy has rigged various explosives around the intel they need. They split up, Soap goes to defuse them and Ghost slowly makes his way through the facility.
And Ghost does help him. But he treats him like he would a regular, non-powered human. Stops when he's in too much pain, encourages him through it. Does his best to stop the bleeding.
Ghost completes his objective, but Soap gets spotted by an enemy and detonates the bomb he's working on to save himself.
Ghost find Soap after he fails to sitrep, impaled by a rebar. He whimpers and begs Ghost to help him off it, since he can't heal.
Because Ghost sees him as human. He watched as Soap kept trying to make jokes with him, but more importantly, how he treated him no differently from anyone else.
Soap, for his side, isn't used to that... gentleness. And that's how his interest in Ghost begins.
They exfil and return to base. A few months pass, and Ghost keeps an eye on one Soap MacTavish. Looks through his medical records, past missions. Finds out just how much he suffers through.
But Ghost isn't his commending officer, so he can't do anything. Until he's approached by his captain, John Price. He brings up the option of adding a new member to the taskforce. He gives Ghost the candidates he considered, Soap was brought up, Ghost stops him and states that he would agree to a new member if it was Soap.
Now if I had like, better writing abilities I would have absolutely written this as a fic. Butttt I don't and even if I did, I don't have confidence in them so I won't. But this idea is now out there and you can do whatever you want with it.
Also I got like a lot more sketches of this au but I only posted the ones I made for the ask.
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mw2#cod fanart#cod ghost#cod soap#cod gaz#asks answered#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#sorry this took a while uni really kicked me while I was down#it's getting better tho#also if more ppl wanna request you can always want i dont mind#revenant au#<new name
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what would you say is your favorite jonmichael fic..... im very curious and love to reread anything in that tag
oh but how can i pick only one when they all are so good??? (,,•᷄ࡇ•᷅ ,,)?
aaaaaa can i make the several honorable mentions of the fics that made me scream and roll on the floor?????? pretty please???
scheherazade was one of the first jonmichael fics that i found while going through all of the cher's works because, evidently, they have no fics that are not worth reading!! (i'm sorry if and forty feet down only confirming it!!!)
sleep inertia has one of the best dialogues i ever read!!! the way cruelzy writes michael's lines??? aaaaaaaaa its so delicious and believable and never for a second i thought i'm reading something out of canon?? its just that good.
carousel is the only one fic (from what i found) that i set in the last season and its adds a lot of layers to that big jonmichael onion that torments my eyes for a while now ldkfjgkdfjg also it's messy?? i mean the whole situation in the fic?? its so humanly complicated and it does not gives you the chance to experience any of the feelings clearly and i love it!! screechfox somehow captured all of the complicated stuff in one fic, blendered it together and for the whole time i just couldn't take my eyes away from it.
five times michael saves jon's life and one time he doesn't have to - is here to sooth our pain and heal our wounds. i reread it so many times!! the dynamic between jon and michael in it is one to live for!!! sometimes you think 5+1 kind of fics can't surprise you anymore and then the coolest author like paisleycowboys enters the room and proves you wrong.
to be like super honest, the 100 ways to say i love you series, when i first saw it, made me think im not gonna like it? i love my fanfics long and scary and bittersweet and with a bad-very-not-good-endings, so the title of this one made me go "hmmmmm HMMMMM hmmmmm hmmmm?" but ive started to read it anyway, theres not that many fics on the ao3 for jonmichael, we cant afford to be capricious and gosh GOSH i was so fucking wrong!!! its sweet AND sad AND scary AND awkward (in a best way!!!) AND it made me giggle so many times!!! NeedsCaffeineRightNow can make even the edgiest of us enjoy the soft kinds of fics (its not hard when they are written with so much care and love.)
POSSESSIVE!! MICHAEL!! COMBING!!! JON'S!! HAIR!!!!!! what else do we need from life?
transition, every time i reread it or think about it, makes me painfully aware of how many things should coincide for something to work. it's not one of those fics that completely encompass you; nor its the one that leaves you with new headcanons or in a good mood, no, i think it's the one that leaves you in dissoray, making you want to argue with author, to ask them what were they thinking about, pointing on your weak sides like this?, giving you something precious and then stealing it away? pushing your old bruises? that is to say, i have nothing but deep respect for indefensibleselfindulgence. to write fic that makes you want to engage in conversation? thats powerful
Our 'Angel' of Static and Bone is written so inexplicably good, that more than once i wondered, how NeverwinterThistle was able to do it? and then i realised they are one of my fave bg3 and dishonored authors phpphp but really, the care, the effort that went into this fic? they are literally visible! you can feel the amount of time and brain juice that went into writing it. and the neighbor character? they appeared like two times?? and still their addition left me speechless with how clever it is, how different!! absolutely amazing work.
adjective noun has jonmichael chapter (11) that destroyed me as a person i swear i laughed so hard i dropped my phone and just kept giggling face-into-the-pillow style!!!!!! its rare for the fics to bring you this childish kind of pure joy; the little in-between moment of forgetting about everything, good and bad, and just have a good time. this chapter is definitely one of those rare things and it also made me wish there would be more jonmichael fics from cuttoth. somehow they nailed everything that should be nailed about this ship and did it in a couple of pages, what a magical work!!
and well, now here's my fave fic, the one that took my head, shaked it like it's a soda can, and then left it open, fountaining at first and then dented and empty.
I ask for nothing, but maybe I'm lying is the work that made me grateful for the fact that i know how to read in english. its....mmmm, you know that feeling when fic makes you go through literally everything? and then, as a bonus, through all stages of grief as well?
first you get hooked up by the beautiful writing style and so you know the fic is gonna be good and you get comfortable and you turn yourself off from the rest of the world and you read.
you love pov, you love mood shifts, you love pacing, you love when scenes are short and you pause to think about what happened / you love when scenes are long and you get overloaded with the simple things that make you feel complicated emotions, you love it all.
then you start to wish it would never finish; you look at the scrolling bar from time to time, a little bit too aware of how much there's left to read, a little bit too anxious about it. and at the same time, the fic starts to make you feel safe, confident, that at least it's gonna be alright, its gonna be that one work that will replace the canon events for you. it was the
“Oh. Oh, Archivist, no. That’s not right at all,” you say to yourself as you watch him march into artefact storage, both hands clamped around an axe.
On a whim, you decide to save him."
line for me for sure uhhh it still hits as good as the first time too
and then you get to the ending and you just stare at the screen. that hollowing feeling slowly spreading inside you. *sigh* its the best sort of inspiration im sure, but its the worse one too. i have no idea how possessedradios and authors like them are able to write something that kills you, then reanimates you and then makes you sit in front of the tablet drawing hours non stop. ''I ask for nothing, but maybe I'm lying" is so beautiful its scares and fascinates me, just like the podcast did. hell, better then the podcast did. i know its silly but i even named my fisrt fanart of michael as the title of the fic 👉👈
ahhhh SO i rumbled again SORRY!!!!!!! every time someone asks something from me its either "i'll reply later" (replies 10 years after) or "tolstoy, hold my fucking beer". but i really hope that fic writers, not only those who are mentioned here but like in general? know how much they affect other people!! how their work creates safe spaces for others!! how they make readers smile or cry, even if those readers (im not pointing finger on myself idk what you talking about pgphpphph) are little gremlins that leaving comments once in a decade....................
have fun time reading!! <3
btw im working on a little fanart rn............. (expressing my deepest grattitude to ao3 johmichael writers 😳🔪)
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Do u have any xreader fic recommendations?
Luv ur writing btw<33
AHHHHHHH boy do I that's mainly what I read lol
I have actually been waiting for this moment stg I have basically no one in my life who also reads fanfiction so theres no one to really talk to about it
A few that immediately come to mind are:
Aggre(g/v)ation by Llama Goddess!, Complete, 180,000 words, Fem reader
•Okay this one I have very faint memory of and from what I can remember it's a reverse harem fic (gonna be a pretty common troupe here)with UT sans, UF sans, and HT sans. I really liked the characterization of the boys in this fic and it had good pacing and plot. I believe you're UT sans roommate and then all the machine bs happens and it pulls through UF sans first and then HT sans a bit later on in the story.
Dirty Laundry(fem and masc) by Popatochisp, Complete, 162,476 words for fem 182,622 words for masc
• THE swapfell fic. Both skeleton brothers x reader here with SF sans being romanced later on in the book. I absolutely devoured this fic it was great pacing,great characterization,THE PLOT 😙👌. So it starts off with you doing laundry at a Laundromat and you feel someone watching you. Looking around you see a tall skeleton trying to sneakily watch you and you're like what is he up to. So you approach him and you're like can I help you and he gets super embarrassed because the whole issue here is he doesn't know how to do laundry. So you teach him and end up getting his number and he wants you to become his adulting teacher basically. Not gonna spoil much more but this book is! so! good! Really fluffy with just the right amount of drama and action mixed in. Hard recommend!
On top of the bone pile by Lyrjok, Complete, Includes SMUT, 422,222 words Fem reader
•Another reverse harem this one has a bunch of boys let's see romance wise there's UT, US, UF, and SF maybe G!Sans as well can't remember, There's also ink and error but they're there for plot reasons. This one is cute and has good pacing. I can't really remember the plot super well besides the ending and I don't want to spoil that for y'all. I picked it up for the smut but ended up really liking it and how the author portrays the boys is pretty good!
Smells like Chalk and Beeswax by ShittyDinner, Complete, Includes SMUT 78,841, Fem reader
•Okay first of all this fic does NOT have a happy ending and I figured that out the hard way. Istg it hurt me so bad I couldn't read fanfiction for like two weeks after I finished it because I couldn't stop thinking about the ending and it was ruining my reading experience. SO BE WARNED. This fic is a US sans x reader with uh some US papyrus x reader as well. Absolutely great fic here, the plot and pacing are perfect I love the boys here. I remember the plot of this one so viscerally starts off with an earthquake and you end up saving US sans. He gets your number and wants to befriend you basically right away. Don't want to spoil anything but the story moves pretty quick so you won't be waiting long if you read this!
Smells like Chalk and Cockatoo byShittyDiner, Complete, Includes SMUT, 128,555 words,Fem reader
This is by the same author as the last one and kinda follows a simular plotline but instead it is UT sans x reader. If i remember correctly it does have a happy ending. So a fair warning for this one Sans is abusive at some points its actually a pretty big plot point so if topics like that are triggering to you this is not the fic for you. I cant really remember the plot of this one too well but im pretty sure you meet papyrus first and sans a bit later on. Its pacing is pretty decent and i feel it has a good amount of drama plus you get to have a kid with sans near the end which was cute to see.
OKAY i feel like six is enough for now but if you guys wants more just let me know i have so many and i love yapping about fics i like lol. ALSO if you have any papyrus x reader recs any au please drop them in the comments or message them to me i am a huge sans simp but i feel like its finally time to give paps some attention
ALSO ALSO not fanfiction but fanfiction esque Darkpetal16 is working on some undertale au interactive fiction with romance involved in most of them, they even have a few finished! For anyone who doesnt know what Interactive Fiction is it's basically a text based game and i find them pretty neat. The ones that are finished are Siren Call, Underswap, Underfell, and Dusttale!
#undertale fandom#undertale fanfiction#sans undertale#fanfiction recommendation#fanfic rec list#papyrus au#papyrus undertale#sans au#sans au x reader#papyrus au x reader#ao3#underswap au#underfell au#horrortale sans#horrortale sans x reader#swapfell#swapfell au#undertale IF#IF#interactive fiction#underswap sans x reader#underswap papyrus x reader#underfell sans x reader#underfell papyrus x reader#swapfell sans x reader#swapfell papyrus x reader#hrrr dirty laundry changed my life#smells like chalk and beeswax did to but in a more horrible and vile way#hope you guys enjoy
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•。ꪆৎ ˚⋅ wip wednesday!
thanks for the tag babes! @guiltyasdave • nsfw under the cut! 18+ MDNI!
wip #1 • show me a little bit of spine! feat. logan howlett (& crimson!)
'five x-men walk into a bar, only three walk out…'
oops i don't have a sneak peek for this one...sorry chickens.
this is an official part two to "all's fair in love and viscera" cause i can't leave them alone to save my life! i finally decided on the name crimson for this specific reader, and the au as a whole will be called the to the bone universe (that’s also how it’ll be tagged on my acc!!!)
this is jealous!logan getting down and dirty in a bar bathroom after a special someone makes a move on his girl...wink wink nudge nudge. a special guest! a very special guest, cause what better way is there to get a man off their ass and admit they like you than dirty dancing with another man in front of him.
think degradation, biting, pain kink (obvi wtf). there's also some emotional constipation and just a hint of angst. it'll be so fun!
wip #2 • says he needs it bad (oh so very bad) feat. sub!logan howlett (& crimson!)
'it’s not often that logan needs this, but you’re always more than happy to give it to him when he does…'
double oops i don’t have a sneak peek for this one either…pls forgive me!
this is also apart of the to the bone universe but it's more like a non-connecting little blurb than another part...if that makes sense lol i just wanted to write more crimson!
all this is thanks to a lovely anon who sent in a req desperately needing me to speak on sub!logan. it's funny because ofc i'll speak on sub!logan wtf who do you think i am. it's honestly one of the fluffiest, softest things i've ever written...established relationship is really locking my ass down. it's still filthy though don't worry! think riding, think pain kink, think light dustings of a breeding kink. i really don't know how to explain this lmao it's gonna be great trust me!
wip #3 • hunting for sport... feat. logan howlett (& crimson!)
'there's a big bad wolf somewhere in these woods...'
You scramble backwards, stuck watching the way the brush starts to rustle as he gets closer. You push yourself back to your feet, muscles screaming in protest as you break into a sprint. It's all in vain, you know it is. He's only playing with you, letting you tire yourself out. He’s known where you’ve been the whole time, could smell you the whole time, could hear you the whole time. The two of you have been at this long enough now, his patience is starting to run thin. He's right behind you, if the violent thrashing of the brush over your shoulder getting louder is any indication. The dull sound of claws ripping through the forest floor growing closer and closer before the entire woods suddenly tilts on its axis.
this is also in the to the bone universe! can you tell that i'm really into this au? i physically can't stop writing them...another little fic that's outside the events of parts one and two :))) who would i be if i didn't write a chase fic for this man? that's the real question. more violence heavy than the other fics listed, i got bit by the freak bug and i need to write nasty sexy violence sorry babes.
wip #4 • give it to me like a man! feat. dbf!patrick zweig
'patrick comes to your college graduation party, he gives you the best gift...'
“Yeah, I've been pretty busy since the season started. Lot’s of traveling and shit, you know?” Your dad hums in agreement, nodding his head lazily. “For sure, my schedule has been killer this season.” He brags shamelessly, tone heavy with understanding like he and Patrick are in the same boat. Only your dad’s boat is a three million dollar yacht sailing to cushy televised matches and Nike shoots while Patrick is floating on a dinghy to some barely media covered ITF matches. “It’s a miracle I even had time to fly in for the party, isn’t that right sweetheart?” Your hand slides up the length of his cock in one slow motion, your palm grinding over the tip through the denim. “Yeah, daddy.” You say, voice going light and airy around the edges. Patrick thinks it’s being said to your dad, but when his eyes flick over to you, you’re already looking at him. Eyes half-lidded and shiny as your fingers brush over the metal of his zipper.
the long awaited dbf!patrick lol i know i've been dragging this damn thing out for like three weeks but it's the most "done" fic on this list so maybe maybe MAYBE it'll actually be posted soon...
anyway this is nothing but pure filth. just straight up nasty no plot at all pure sex and fucking hard gross style. lots and lots of dirty talk, degradation, risk play, sort of public sex, a barely there daddy kink...just me being nasty on a google doc for no reason!
no pressure tags! @ebodebo @artemis-b-writes @avocado-writing (it's technically thursday but like oh em gee who cares just do it anyway chickens)
#wip wednesday#all very rough drafts#like i’m on the struggle bus with all of them#but what the fuck is new honestly#it’s a constant state#of my failure and struggle#current wips#patrick zweig x reader#patrick zweig smut#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut
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Pandora Hearts Month 2024 Prompts!
Wonderful art made by for Phmonth23 by @yanderefairyangel!
What is Pandora Hearts Month? Pandora Hearts Month is an event that celebrates, well...Pandora Hearts, the manga created by Jun Mochizuki! Each day is a new prompt. The first three weeks celebrate the three main trios, and the fourth is a bonus week that celebrates any ships/friendships/ot3s fans chose and love--or simply any characters not covered by the other weeks! You can create edits, fanart, drabbles, fanfictions, amvs and mms...whatever you can think of, really! This year we have a fifth week celebrating her current work: Vanitas no Carte! (If and when you make creations for VnC tag your spoilers!!)
Pandora Hearts Month 2024 Prompts:
Golden Trio Week (Alice, Oz and Gilbert), October 20th-26th:
Day 1, Sunday Oct 20th: Yellow or Bones
Day 2, Monday Oct 21st: Rose
Day 3, Tuesday Oct 22nd: AU
Day 4, Wednesday Oct 23rd: Abandoned
Day 5, Thursday Oct 24th: Moon
Day 6, Friday Oct 25th: Winter
Day 7, Saturday Oct 26th: Ravens and Writing Desks
Rainsworth Trio Week (Sharon, Break and Reim), Oct 27th—November 2nd:
Day 1, Sunday Oct 27th: The Shadows Are Watching
Day 2, Monday Oct 28th: Sweet
Day 3, Tuesday Oct 29th: Sorrow
Day 4, Wednesday Oct 30th: Blood
Day 5, Thursday Oct 31st: Reaper
Day 6, Friday Nov 1st: Spring
Day 7, Saturday Nov 2nd: Stars
Tragedy Trio Week (Lacie, Jack and Oswald), Nov 3rd—Nov 9th:
Day 1, Sunday Nov 3rd: Steampunk
Day 2, Monday Nov 4th: A Reward You Will Regret
Day 3, Tuesday Nov 5th: Hair
Day 4, Wednesday Nov 6th: Rest
Day 5, Thursday Nov 7th: Reverence
Day 6, Friday Nov 8th: Black
Day 7, Saturday Nov 9th: Weaving Fate
Fan’s choice Week, Nov 10th—November 16th:
Day 1, Sunday Nov 10th: Purple
Day 2, Monday Nov 11th: Autumn
Day 3, Tuesday Nov 12th: Vampire
Day 4, Wednesday Nov 13th: What's the Catch?
Day 5, Thursday Nov 14th: In the City of Dust
Day 6, Friday Nov 15th: Mystery
Day 7, Saturday Nov 16th: Sweet Nightmares
Vanitas no Carte Week, Nov 17th—Nov 23rd (Please tag your spoilers!!):
Day 1, Sunday Nov 17th: Holiday or Nails or AU
Day 2, Monday Nov 18th: Comet
Day 3, Tuesday Nov 19th: The Cosmos in Your Hands
Day 4, Wednesday Nov 20th: Loyalty
Day 5, Thursday Nov 21st: The Language of Flowers
Day 6, Friday Nov 22nd: Ghost
Day 7, Saturday Nov 23rd: Moonflower
(If you want to use other prompts to make a Halloweeny piece, feel free! You don't have to save that for Halloween day!)
When you post, please remember to:
Tag me @i-prefer-the-term-antihero, @phmonth, and/or @this-idiots-left-eye in your posts to make sure I reblog them! (My main blog is your best bet).
Tag #phmonth24 in your tags! I will go through that tag and check if I've missed any direct tags. (If you don't see your piece reblogged on this blog after doing both these methods, please dm me!)
As I've said, please tag your VnC spoilers!! Not everyone is caught up!!
Either put a link, or a “read more” on long fics (or long posts in general), so they're easier to reblog!
NSFW content is allowed, but please make sure it’s clear it’s NSFW/tagged that way, and is beneath a read more so anyone who doesn’t want to see it doesn’t have to!
I also made a collection on Ao3 for writers! Don't hesitate to add your fics to it!
Don’t forget to join our discord if you haven’t! It’s a fun place to discuss the series and more easily share your creations!
You are free to have fun with this!! As I said, as long as you tag it, NSFW is allowed! Tagging ships is nice too. You can pretty much do whatever you want with the prompts!
As long as you make sure the characters from the trio are your main focus, it’s okay to use other characters in your creations too!
You can join any time, and use as many or as few prompts as you want! You don't have to post on the exact day if you can’t make it! I’ll reblog things late!
Since we live across the world, you are free to post whenever the day is for you. I myself will be making posts according to my time, which is Central Standard Time in America.
If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to send an ask here, or post in the #questions channel of the discord!
Feel free to get started on making stuff early! (But please wait to post until the month has started!) I'm so excited to see what you make! Thank you for all your support!
i-prefer-the-term-antihero
#pandora hearts#phmonth24#oz vessalius#gilbert nightray#xerxes break#phmonth#jack vessalius#sharon rainsworth#reim lunettes#oswald baskerville#glen baskerville#pandora hearts month#pandora hearts month 2024
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Random baseless punch out wii headcanon time!!
I KEEP TRYING TO SAVE THIS TO DRAFTS BUT IT KEEPS POSTING INSTEAD BUT FUCK IT WE BALL (i might add more stuff or change things but this is what I've got so far)
Doc Louis
Hes not the step dad he's the dad who stepped up
Hes got a tshirt that says that and every time he wears it in public mac dies a little inside
Hes also got pictures of him and mac together in his wallet that he likes showing off to people
Im gonna take this time and tell you about this crackship I like. Idk why but doc louis/gabby jay is just very cute to me and i wanted to share that with you
Little Mac
Everyone makes him transmasc, everyone makes him autistic, everyone makes him selectively mute and I just so happen to be part of everyone soooo...
I might however be projecting myself onto him just a little bit but whatev
Him and Birdie are like brothers to me, not biologically but still <3
Pretty awkward around his fans, especially the ones who don't respect his personal space (looking at YOU, nameless women in super macho man's title defense intro😡)
Got called into the counselors office at his school a lot because he was always covered in bruises, every time he just showed them his latest match on his phone like "yeah don't worry everything cool at home I just get my ass kicked as my job"
Tries to be friendly with all his opponents, or at least decent with them
~~~~
Glass Joe
I read the first couple chapters of this fic and now it's just canon to me, he is a single girldad and there is nothing you can do to change that
Well I say "dad" but sometimes I like to make her transfemme just because I can so when I do that she's still a milf instead
Has always had fucked up bones and joints and health problems and stuff, boxing just made it CONSIDERABLY worse lol
Gabby Jay is like his uncle or something
Sleeps like 3 hours a night and hasn't drank water in like 10-20 years, this freak is living off of coffee, bread, wine, cigarettes, and NOTHING else
Tried to be blond, it didn't work on him
The only reason he haven't died in the ring is because god is punishing him for his hubris
His one win was when Nick Bruiser died in the ring due to a completely unrelated brain aneurism
Von Kaiser
Used to crossdress back in his younger years, he may not do it as much anymore but he still has his dresses
Actually enjoys his job as a boxing teacher! He likes instilling knowledge on the next generation
Complete neat freak, trys to suppress it as much as he can but it's always there in the back of his mind
Definitely has SOMETHING wrong with him but thinks that if he doesn't get it diagnosed then it's not really a problem
Probably has like prosthetics or metal implants in his joints or bones or something, idk why else he'd make the noises he does
Disco Kid
I like to think that he does drag in his free time, makes you wonder if him and VK ever talk about it
Can fully SPRINT in high heels, hell he could probably fight in them too if they'd let him
Always has at least a little bit of glitter on him, it's a curse
Boxing is more of a hobby for him than a career, he's just having fun with it
Always makes sure his friends are safe and having fun whenever they go out somewhere
King Hippo
Scares babies and small children on accident just by being around them and feels REALLY bad about it
The first time he met glass joes daughter he made her cry and still hasn't gotten over it
Whenever fans ask him for a signature he either writes it in the most beautiful handwriting you've ever seen or he just draws a lil hippo with a crown, which one you get depends on how he's feeling
Has a storage unit somewhere filled to the brim with all those shitty blenders that had to be recalled
He still tries to pawn them off on people, too, if he ever tries to get you a gift for like your birthday or something you just know it's one of those shitty blenders
Oh and the "king" in king hippo isn't a stage name, he is actual flesh and royalty. His subjects seem to think highly of him and he treats them well. He does a pretty good job running things too but to be fair his kingdom isn't all that big, just one tiny island that isn't on any maps.
He usually doesn't hold his title over people's heads, mostly he's just some guy
Fully CANNOT swim but he can hold his breath for ages and just sort of walks on the ocean floor (gee, almost like his namesake)
Knows what gender is, does not care for it
Likes to sketch and draw :)
~~~~
Piston Hondo
Possibly aromantic? I don't really know and I don't think he knows either.
God why don't I have any headcanons for him?? He's my fucking wife!!!!
Ok I KNOW I said he's my wife but i saw like one person make him and Bear Hugger queer platonic partners and im in love with that idea
I feel like of the two he's the one who was most concerned with putting labels on it and trying to figure out what exactly they were but eventually just decided that even if they're not in a romantic relationship they can still be soulmates and I think thats beautiful
Hes a sweet guy but he can be pretty awkward around people lol
EXCELLENT cook like you have NO IDEA
Bear Hugger
Does NOT know his own strength. He'll go to hug somebody and and break their ribs, he'll go to open a jar and shatter it into pieces. He's trying his best to be gentle but good god.
Also the gay kind of bear (the stage name was on purpose)
Can actually literally for real life talk to animals. No fucking clue how he does it, i guess it's just a Canadian thing
Lost his squirrel after losing in title defense and was DEVASTATED, but DONT WORRY the squirrel was fine
The "i like raw fish" line isn't about sushi, be just sticks his head in a river and comes out with a live salmon in his teeth
Great Tiger
Has at least one if not a plethora of cats (one of which is a British shorthair cause I feel like that's the kind of cat he'd like)
"I feed you, I home you, I give you all the treats and toys you could ask for, and what do you do? You scratch up my furniture and knock over all my nice cups! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Mmmrrp?😺"
"Hmph, you're lucky you're cute..."
Magic is a difficult thing to control so sometimes when he sneezes he teleports, happesnt to the best of us
It took him weeks to fully resolidify after getting poofed my mac in title defense so for a while parts of his body were just vapor
If i ever draw him I'm gonna give him widdle kitty fangs, trust me
Still trying to work on his music career, the dumbass
Him and don like to gossip together like catty bitches
Don Flamenco
Carmen 100% tops him, I will not elaborate (at least not until I finish my fanfic)
#1 bi4bi couple ever
Whenever he drinks he literally does not shut up about her
"Me gusta mi esposa porque es suave y cálida y bonita y amable conmigo🥰🥰"
Sure, alright dude
I know it's HEAVILY implied that Carmen left him after he lost to mac the first time but I choose to think that he just lost all his self worth and was CONVINCED that she was gonna leave him
That... might actually be worse now that i think about it
But whatever, in the long run they get married and have twins and grow old together and it's great<3
She likes him better without his toupee, more room for kisses<3<3
"I'd kill someone for you, PLEASE ask me to kill someone for you..."
Hes tried on her lingerie more times than he's like to admit, it's gotten to the point where she just bought him his own. She wasn't upset about him stealing her clothes, she was upset because pink is NOT his color
Also I'm sorry that literally all of these are about him and Carmen, I didn't mean to do that
He is a complete giga bitch to everyone except her
I like it when people interpret mac as being Hispanic because I feel like he'd try and start a conversation with don and he'd be like "Lo siento, no hablo inglés. (Lying)" and mac would just be like "¡Oh, está bien! Así que, como te decía..." and dons just like GOD FUCKING DAMNIT
~~~~
Aran Ryan
He used to be normal, but then they put him in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. The rats made him crazy.
Does not know Irish and refuses to learn because it reminds him of being in school and he fucking HATED being in school
Probably because of the adhd or whatever is going on with his brain
Will break somebody's nose if they make fun of his accent
I see folks giving him a ton of siblings and I really like that idea but I just gave him one cause I thought it'd be easier lol
I named his sister Sharan cause I thought it'd be funny, she's also fucking crazy but when they're around eachother they're too busy trying to reel the other one in to be crazy themselves so they sort of balance eachother out
Shes about 6-7 years younger than than him and even though he KNOWS she can stand up for herself he's still very protective of her
When he first started boxing professionally he would bring her with him to get her out of the house (even though she didn't like seeing him get hurt)
Used to read her stories to help her go to sleep and would stay with her to protect her from monsters
Has fistfought his dad and would do so again if he wasn't dead
Soda Popinski
Literally just this post
Him and his wife that I made up have been trying for a baby but haven't had any luck so far
Gained his sweet tooth after quitting drinking (ya know cause he used to be called vodka drunkinski, god I'm so fucking clever)
Is actually a gentle giant outside of the ring!
His wife started knitting him sweaters once she saw him go out into the snow nearly naked. He loves and cherishes them and wears them every chance he gets but he still goes outside without pants🫠
Has killed someone on accident
Bald Bull
I like to think that he's a pretty chill guy when he's not being hounded by the paparazzi but god damn they will not leave him alone
He was probably glad when mac became champ for all the reasons macho man hated it
I honestly don't know what else to say about him
Fuck it I'm giving him agoraphobia
Him and popinski are pals😊
Has killed someone on purpose
Super Macho Man
I'm gonna be real, in my first draft of this post i completely forgot he existed and if he was real and he knew that he would be thinking about it for WEEKS
His ass: NOT real
His tits: NOT real
Thinks he's talking Like The Youth when he says shit like dude and bogus all the time
Also he's like 50
Definitely has at least one kid that he pretends not to know about, dodges child support like it's bullets in the matrix
Idk what social media was like in 2009 cause I was 4 years old but I like to think that people bully him online
Tried to own the "release the bogus" thing but it was just suuuuuuper cringe
Sometimes I like to make him ftm, I think it's neat
Sometimes I also like to make him fluent in asl but I got that one from a fanfic
Mr. Sandman
Comfypilled cozymaxer (at least when he's not training and stuff)
I feel like he would not be able to play any of the punch out games if they existed in his universe
I really dont know what to put here either
I like to think that under that intimidating exterior hes a real sweetie but I also said that about popinski and bb so it feels like I'm just being stupid
Give him some chamomile tea. Now.
#punch out!!#punch out#punch out wii#super punch out#doc louis#little mac#glass joe#von kaiser#disco kid#king hippo#piston hondo#piston honda#bear hugger#great tiger#don flamenco#punch out carmen#carmen mi amor#aran ryan#soda popinski#bald bull#super macho man#mr. sandman#mr sandman#punch out headcanons#punch out oc#long post
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hello! do you have any daud headcanons? I miss him :')
Hi, friend!!!
I miss him so, so much. Thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about him xD
Here are some of the headcanons that keep me up at night.
There's a part of Daud that'll always hate Corvo for not saving Jessamine when he should've. In a way, he blames him too for what became of Dunwall, and when they faced each other in the flooded district, yes, it was about giving each other something vaguely resembling closure and about facing his consequences, but it was also about him having the chance to fight the man who (in his irrational logic) helped doom them all.
Now this is just more of my rambles about my previous headcanon. I can't stop thinking about the parallel between their first encounter in the tower and then their fight in the flooded district. How Corvo had no chance that first time, but Daud's defeat is a given once Corvo gets the mark. Of course the circumstances are different, but I feel that having the chance to fight Corvo again and to witness how goddamn good he actually is at it would only fuel Daud's spiral of You could've saved her. You could've stopped me, or it could give him another reason to hate The Outsider even more because giving the mark to the only man who could defeat him only AFTER he actually needed it to stop him could be seen as his cruelest joke. Also, I can't keep this line out of my head: "I'm the one who killed her, but you are the one who failed her." A line from the Dishonored fic I'll never write lol.
Daud loves books. I know it's kinda stupid to say this is a headcanon when it's canon that the man has his study full of the stuff, but I mean that he LOVES them. He writes and speaks with the cadence of a person who is fond of words and the meaning behind them, you know what I mean? Smoking isn't his only vice. I can imagine him stealing books from every aristocrat's home he sneaks into, and how when he's reading at night in his study he silently misses the academy's library and all the mysteries left to unravel there. (Oh, to think of all the trouble he should've gone through to keep his books in good condition and safe from all that humidity... I need a bone charm for that).
Since the moment he was abducted, he forced himself to suppress almost every thought and memory from his previous life. The only thing he perfectly remembers is that he loved his mother, even when he can't really recall more than a few details about her. (I have mixed feelings about DOTO, but Daud calling out for his mom in the void always gets to me).
Now a silly one. Among all the intel he and the whalers have collected over the years, Daud keeps a special file with all the gossip that has genuinely made him huff (or void forbid, even chuckle!!). Is it the most important information to keep around? No, but sometimes the Knife or Dunwall just wants to sit back and amuse himself with how ridiculous these people can be, and who knows, maybe it'll be useful blackmail material one day. Billie is the only one who knows this file exists and its true purpose.
He also keeps a file with all the rumors that have been told about him and the Whalers, and he carefully chooses which ones to encourage and which ones to put out.
After Corvo spares him and he leaves Dunwall, Daud tries to fall into old habits and force himself to suppress every thought of Billie and the Whalers. He fails. He swears The Outsider mocks him every time he instinctively calls on his mark just to feel the phantom pain left by the severed connections.
Daud never regrets the Whalers, nor that he taught them how to exploit their blades for coin. Most of them were already killers, anyway. He simply gave them the means to survive more than a few fights in an alleyway, right?
In a bizarre way, he sometimes even sees the Whalers, not as a family, but as an act of love (I don't think love is the word, but something at least close to it), even with the discipline and the punishments involved. Some of the whalers knew better, others saw that love as well.
To me, the Knife of Dunwall is a silent assassin who rarely engages with a target head on unless he needs to. He's methodical and professional, quiet and efficient. Unless one of his Whalers is killed. Then you'll know what it looks like when he lets himself enjoy it.
Above everything else, his biggest pride will always be Billie.
I don't believe he went fully "clean hands" after Jessamine's death. He killed, mostly for survival and when there was no other option (to him, at least), but the few times he did it, he saw Jessamine's dead eyes staring back at him.
#I realized I was writing and writing and writing and had to make myself stop before I went on forever#I'm sorry xD I have too many thoughts and feeling about this bastard man who's so dear to me#daud#asks#dishonored
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Hi! How are you? May I please request a fic with Kamui where he gets caught sneaking around SWORD territory and badly beaten, the reader finds him and takes him to the Nameless City where she nurses him back to health? The theme is "be good to the crows, the crows will be good to you" because crows do remember faces and will give people who are nice to them random trinkets they find. In H&L, that could be saving her from some thugs or bringing her to live with one of them. No pressure, take your time! Thanks! ❤️
Crows never forget
a/n: Hello, it took too long for me to write sorry:( But it was really an amazing idea, there will be definitely a part2🫡 It is all fluffy and soft 😭 I hope you like it 🌸💕
Sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes.English is not my main language so...
Thank you and love you 🥰
Warnings: mention of fights, blood, wounds but mostly fluffy
Dark streets had always scared the young girl. Even though she had been wandering the streets for years, she knew that the SWORD area was never safe. She was going to a nearby market to cook dinner for the kids. Even though she couldn't buy much, she wanted them to be able to eat warm meals on a cold winter day.
The weather was quite cold, she had to be quick. The moment she left the Nameless City, she had a bad feeling.
SWORD was pretty chaotic these days. She had to go back before anything happened to her.
She hadn't gone far, and as she walked down the quiet street, she saw someone fall to the ground in the narrow passage behind the containers. Even though she was undecided whether to check it out or not, she gave in to her curiosity and walked there slowly.
A masked boy, dressed in black and obviously around her age, was lying on the ground. Blood was flowing from his head and his face was injured. Even though she couldn't see his face because of his mask, she was sure she didn't know who he was.
"Hey! Are you okay?"
She asked worriedly and shook him gently. When she realized that the boy opened his eyes but could not move, she was not sure what to do.
Should she help him? Her brothers probably wouldn't like this. But she didn't want to leave him here injured.
She looked for a while to see if there was anyone around to help her. Noone was there. But the boy didn't look too heavy.
Kamui was watching the young girl with faint eyes. He should have stood up, he should have walked away from here immediately. But all his bones ached. He couldn't even move his finger. The young girl was calling out to him, but he didn't have the energy to answer.
Y/n crouched down in front of him and called out to Kamui
“Jump on my back, I will carry you.”
Kamui was looking at her in astonishment as if the young girl had just said the most ridiculous thing in the world. He never believed that this girl could carry him. But y/n was pretty confident.
“Hey, hurry up. We must leave here as soon as possible.”
Kamui knew he had no choice. Even though it hurt a lot, he sat up slightly and wrapped his arms around the young girl's neck.
He was heavy, the young boy was heavier than he looked. But y/n was determined. She would carry him to a safe place, albeit slowly.
***
Despite all the stares of the people around, Y/n brought the young boy to the Nameless City. Kamui knew that the young girl could be in a difficult situation. He had regained some of his strength. He gently touched y/n's shoulder
“You can put me down, you must be very tired.”
Y/n giggled.
“I'm not very weak. Don't worry, we're almost there."
Kamui was listening to the young girl with fascination. She was both strong and fearless. He was also feeling quite embarrassed.
Not much time had passed, when y/n walked the streets of the Nameless City for a while, her brothers blocked her path.
“Rude Boys” y/n stopped her steps when Kamui whispered in surprise. Of course, they couldn't pass through here without being seen by them.
Kamui slowly landed on the ground, but y/n immediately took his arm. The young boy looked pretty bad for standing.
“Y/n, who is this?”
When Takeshi approached the young girl and asked, Kamui shivered as he looked at the man in front of them. SWORD was much more than their little games.
“I don't know who he is” y/n replied calmly. “I found him injured on the street.”
Kamui looked at the young girl's answer. Yes, it was true, but was now the right time to be so honest?
Takeshi didn't react. He didn't want to shout at the young girl. Everyone loved y/n. He also loved the young girl very much. But he couldn't allow a stranger to enter the city.
“I can't allow this y/n, you have to leave him where you found him.”
“Hey, stop talking about him like he's a puppy.”
The young girl wanted to erase her brothers' seriousness by making a joke, but she wasn’t successful.
“Y/n, Im telling you for the last time-“
"Me too. I want to help him. He's just a boy around my age."
When the young girl raised her voice at Takeshi, P intervened. He was always more understanding.
“Y/n, you know the rules of the city. You don't even know who he is. I'm sorry, but we can't allow this."
Even though P spoke in a soft tone of voice, his authoritarian attitude was clear. Kamui didn't know what to do. He knew that he had really put the young girl in a difficult situation. But he didn't ask her for help.
As the argument between Y/n and the Rude Boys continued, a voice everyone recognized was heard. When Kamui looked at who the deep but sweet voice was coming from, he didn't expect to see the famous leader of the Rude Boys.
Of course he knew him. The famous Smoky. He knew he would do anything to protect his family. So he couldn't help but wonder what he would do to him right now.
“Y/n-chan… is he your friend?”
With Smoky's question, everyone turned to him. Y/n looked at the boy on her arm who couldn't even stand and smiled.
“Will you believe me if I say yes, Smoky-nii?”
Y/n was a sweet girl. She had never done anything to put her family at risk. She cared about everyone as much as Smoky. But Smoky knew she was still a kid. Of course she could make mistakes
“Y/n, I've known you almost since you were born. Of course, I know that when you want to lie, you start mocking.”
Y/n smiled but Smoky wasn't smiling.
“I'm sorry, I can't allow this.”
"Then I'll go with him too."
With the young girl's sentence, there was a deep silence. Smoky knew her well. He knew she could really do it. He didn't like the determined look in her eyes.
When Y/n looked into her brother's eyes, Smoky sighed even though Takeshi and P protested. He nodded and took a few steps closer to Y/n and Kamui
“Okay, but we won't take responsibility for him. Please don't disappoint me, kiddo.”
Y/n smiled and nodded. Even if she was making a mistake, she would figure it out before anyone else. But she still trusted the boy she had met half an hour ago.
***
After Smoky’s permission to the young girl, P did not want her to suffer any more and took Kamui on his back. After walking for a while, they entered the building where y/n was staying. After placing Kamui harshly on the bed, he gave the young boy a threatening look and turned to the young girl.
“One of the boys will also stay here for the night. If there is a problem, don't forget to call us.”
Y/n smiled and nodded at the soft-hearted boy.
“Thank you nii-chan, don't worry.”
P patted the young girl's head and took one last look at the boy who was watching them with weak eyes on the bed and left.
Y/n looked at the young boy after P left and smiled. The mask on his face was still there.
“I won't ask who you are.”
Kamui whispered.
"Thank you"
Y/n could tell from his voice that he was still in pain.
“I'll find something to clean your wounds. Don't go anywhere okay? Although I don't think you can go, but-"
Y/n giggled at what she said and left the room. She knew that there was a first aid kit in one of the old cabinets inside the building. She quickly started looking for it.
After a while, she returned to the room with the kit she found. But she noticed that the boy in the bed had already fallen asleep.
***
When Kamui woke up in the morning, he could feel his whole body aching. He was surprised to realize that the mask on his face was still there. He looked around and looked for the young girl, but the room was empty.
Even though it hurt, he stood up and looked at himself in the broken mirror on the wall. He had bruises and band-aids on his face. Someone had cleaned his wounds. When he pulled down his mask and looked at his face, he realized that the mask had never been removed and smiled.
Didn't she really wonder who he was?
He lay on the bed in the room and thought for a while. Should he go? But he wanted to thank the young girl. Were his friends worried about him? They would probably be very angry.
While he was lost in his thoughts, he did not notice the young girl entering the room. When he noticed the girl looking at him with a tray in her hand, he turned to her.
The young girl looked confused for a while, then smiled. Kamui was trying to understand what she was surprised about. Immediately afterwards, he realized that his mask was not on his face.
“Didn't you really take off my mask yesterday?”
Y/n laughed and shook her head.
“You were injured, I didn't want to take it out without your permission. This is SWORD, everyone has a valid reason to hide their personality.”
Kamui smiled, surprised by how thoughtful the young girl was.
“You must be hungry, I brought warm soup for you.”
Kamui looked at the tray in the girl's hand and slowly sat up in bed. His whole body still ached.
“Kamui, Kamui Ito.”
The young girl sat on the chair next to the bed and handed the tray to the boy. She smiled.
“Y/n, but you probably already know my name.”
Kamui laughed and shook his head. The smell of the soup on the tray made him realize how hungry he was.
“I… thank you. I will never forget what you truly did for me.”
Y/n smiled at the boy who shyly tried to thank her. The scars on his face were obvious, but he had a very sweet face. For a moment she realized that she had been staring at his face for too long and looked away. Kamui had done the same thing.
“I better go now, I don't want to cause you any more problems.”
Y/n laughed.
“If you are still tired, you can rest, but if you want to go, I can walk with you.”
Kamui laughed.
“I may look pretty weak, but I'm not bad at fighting.”
Y/n giggled and shook her head.
“I don't think Suzuran students are weak, I just wanted to say goodbye to you.”
Kamui was embarrassed by the sentence the young girl said sweetly, he even thought his cheeks were turning red. But then he realized what the young girl said.
“You… How do you know that I am from Suzuran?”
Y/n smiled and nodded.
“I hope you don't think you're the only one who knows something.”
Kamui frowned when he realized that the young girl was much more mysterious than she seemed, now he was even more curious about who she was. But he left that for later, he had to enjoy the short moment he could spend with her right now.
He took a spoonful of his soup and relaxed with the warmth entering his body. Y/n smiled as she watched him. He knew that the boy sitting in front of her was a very dangerous person, despite his innocent face. She didn't need to know him completely to know that. But she didn't want to think about that right now, she had to enjoy the little moment she could spend with him.
HnL taglist : @straysugzhpe @tiddly-winx @ninamarie1994 @emperorsnero @koala-yuna @little-miss-naill @materialprincess01
#high and low#high&low#hnl#high and low the worst#high and low the worst x#high and low fic#high and low suzuran#suzuran kamui#ito kamui#ito kamui x reader#kamui x reader#kamui#kamui ito x reader#kamui suzuran
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SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN.
you develop a strange friendship with the pretty college girl who visits your library.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f4cd4b175e444432407183eb0f1432df/6bd958f1ed58a757-0b/s540x810/4560c311598866e56db793a603db99a9b3088745.jpg)
pairing. olivia hayes (jessica alexander) × female reader
length. 12.9k words
themes. smut, uni student!olivia, librarian!reader, legal age gap, praise kink, pet names (princess, ma'am), fluff, angst
warnings. homophobic and blackmailing antagonist, age gap, smoking, get even spoilers, maybe ooc olivia but NO ONE GETS HER LIKE I DO DON'T @ ME
author's note. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!! yall dont know how special this fic is to me. i started this in september, continued writing it in february (!!!) after being down bad for jess then, after watching get even, revised it to be for my baby olivia hayes :) also my first fic on this blog ! olivia hayes and get even in general are pretty niché in fics, but i hope you'll give this a chance </3 also, i will be writing for more female celebs so stay tuned !!
There was a library - a nice, wide place located in the smaller parts of the university. It’s where the students seldom went to study for their exams, perhaps find a little reprieve from all the youthful stress that curled around them. They’d lounge on the sofas with a textbook in their laps, or hide behind an aisle of novels to make out. That didn’t matter to you - what you cared about was that your second home was a safe space for them, just like it was to you, where nothing else was out to get them but the smell of new books.
That’s where it all started.
It was all supposed to go so normally, but then she came in.
Suddenly you weren’t so safe anymore.
Oh, but could she do any naught? You heard and dismissed rumors, but she was just a schoolgirl - well, the better and more guiltless term was perhaps college student. Still, you're a handful of years older than her with a degree she's using the end of her teens to fight for. She was young. Innocent too, with those bright, casual eyes that passed around the library fascinatedly. But it was far from easy to remember that when those long legs strode confidently in your vicinity, underneath that short skirt which ought to get her in trouble with the dress code. But why? It was standard uniform - it wasn’t her fault she was beautiful. Ah, and one couldn’t forget the socks, simple white ones yet looked painfully beautiful on her with how they wrapped around her thighs like a present.
When she looked at you and smiled, it was a cut straight to the bone. No remedy here. Stitches couldn’t save you.
In the second minute since she arrived here, you realized that she was familiar. That was the kind of face you never forgot - engendered into the ripples of your brain forever, a flame of memory kept alive. Because she was just a college student - many years your junior - but she was so goddamned beautiful that it ached your tongue and left it numb.
“Hi,” she said softly. From one word you could tell that curled preppy accent - something that teetered between an heiress’s and a sweet friend - was natural. From one word you were left breathless.
“Olivia Hayes.” You mentioned her name without thinking and with too much a realization, and now it sounded as if you didn’t know her, and oh, how rude that was. How dare you be rude to a girl like her, known and adored by everyone, a princess? You wanted to say you just recognized her, that you knew her already - which wasn’t false - but she’s already smiling.
Her smile, sweet with tender full lips and her eyelids reaching for their other halves, was something you could swim in forever. Oh, you’d drink from her, too - she was a saltless sea that tasted of nectar instead.
“That’s me,” said Olivia, beaming. “I’m the president of the student council. I think that’s where you remember me?”
Of course. She was the pretty face that always led a group of giggling schoolgirls to the hallway; the pretty voice that spoke at auditoriums for the school’s events; the pretty body that flexed as it twisted to send a ball that’s just as small as her head over the net. While you weren’t a professor by any means (you had tried to be, but that dream was whisked away quickly), you were a frequent presence for the student activities. The one who always, always stood out to you was her.
You suddenly found it very, very hard to gulp down another rough bout. She was beautiful in a way that was impossible to perceive without falling for her. When she had that relatively tall yet slender form all compact and tight in her uniform, with lips that became her brand - (because the other girls would always gossip and say how they wanted lips that full, and maybe you were jealous too) - and had their glossed signature, it forged a path that only led to wanting her.
“Yes, you’re right.” You collected yourself. “Anything I can help you with Ms. Hayes?”
“Do you have anything about Greek mythology?”
That was the lilt of tone she used with her close circle of friends, fondly. Were you a friend to her now? Oh, but you had just met. Not just, perhaps, but this was the first time you actually talked to her lengthily. But she knew you - she’d said your name, and she, with the allowance of you basking in her sweet voice, considered you as someone trustworthy.
But you were far from that. A trustworthy individual did not reach desperately after a kempt schoolgirl like her, or fantasize about doing away with that skirt and scheme to watch all that royal composure dissolve from the princess that she was.
It was only now that you came to the realization that you had always, after all this time, wanted Olivia Hayes.
“Ma’am?” she asked, and all you could think was, oh, it’s the end. It was the beginning of the end the moment she was a polite girl and called you a name that was as innocent as her. It was of no ill intent when she called you that - she was merely asking for your help - but your fist curled up and your throat was tight.
“Yes. Yes, of course.”
You had to act before you did anything stupid, like make her use those perfect lips on you, put them to good use; get your hand all up in that golden-brown hair. Instead of acting upon all those sinful fantasies, you placed a book she might like, the one you recommended for her only, and brushed the old crumbs of bookshelf dust from its cover. Because you’d hate to see those long, pretty fingers get stained.
As you handed her the book, which she accepted with a smile, you asked, “You read a lot I presume?”
She giggled. “I try to,” she said. “Haven’t got time for it lately. But I have to.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re excellent,” you told her, not being able to help yourself. It wasn’t like it was a lie - Olivia Hayes had a lot of potential in her. A great leader, having watched her create the rules to keep the students in line; a great actress, having seen her perform at the theater with emotions that shook you to the core; a great person in general.
“Oh.” Olivia’s cheeks filled with pink. And you found out that when she got shy, her ears flushed too. You ought to smile. “You think so?”
And this was the kind of schoolgirl sweet you pictured her as. She found everywhere but your eyes to look at, and her legs began to sway to and fro, shifting her weight from here to there to stabilize herself. Olivia Hayes - president of various important clubs, prom queen and honor student - could also be . . . adorable?
The rumor mill claimed she wasn’t such a sweetheart. A real fucking snob, a boy claimed after leaving her classroom with tears on his face. Stuck-up bitch. Too arrogant for her own pretty good.
You never believed them. You . . . .did, perhaps? But it was not a belief you held to defame her.
You actually found the roll of her eyes, the snide of her scoffs and checking of her perfect nails a little hot.
But the pink on her face was how you realized that she’s the type of girl who’d melt if called anything remotely complimenting. It’s what she was used to; what revolved her world.
“I know so.”
“Ah,” she mumbled, nodding thoughtfully as she looked down at her black Mary Jane shoes. “Thank you.”
Quietness settled into your humble library. It was what you insisted upon hearing, but there was something about Olivia - how she rolled her words, giggled when she was nervous, spoke softly but easily - that made you want to break your own rules. And several others.
“You have a library card?”
“I don’t.” You envied how she managed to recollect herself before she melted more. You could never say the same thing about yourself. Suddenly her chin was up again, and a small smile played on her lips. “Is it alright if I read here for a while Ma’am?”
What else could your answer be?
The day became night, the moon stark in the sky from behind your library windows. All the students had filed out. It was time to close.
You looked at your log book. Plenty of people came in today. You were happy about that. As a librarian (you taught too if that meant anything), you were naturally passionate about books. Having a job related to them was a dream right from the start. When you were young, you wanted to be a librarian. When you entered high school, you wanted to be a librarian. When you finished college, you became one. The pay was nothing close to meager which was enough for you. You wanted this job and not one day passed that had you upset about it.
Mostly, people came here to hang out or hide. That didn’t matter to you, but what struck you was Olivia. Ever since dismissal time, she was in that corner reading. A pile of books sat on the table with her. All of them were about mythology, whether novels or retellings or anecdotes.
You pretended not to notice her as you rearranged books and disposed of unattended belongings. It kept you busy. Sometimes nobody cared about the system you ordered your books in, or the tidiness overall of your little place. So it took a while, one you were pleased about, until you walked over to Olivia.
She was on the four-hundredth page of the novel. Her thumb pressed above the high number on the foot of the page. Didn’t she just start that? And she was still going.
“You’re a fast reader,” you remarked, fascinated.
She looked up in surprise. A sense of calm passed over her features when she realized it was you. “Y-yes I am. Other days I finish books in like a year, but I guess this isn’t one of those days.”
“Same here.” You liked how you had that in common with her. She was pretty already, but a voracious reader? That was the key to your heart.
You picked up her bag beside her chair and placed it on the table. She returned to scanning the book, the pages crisp between her manicured nails and eyes bright and thoughtful. In her lap was a notepad. Her writing was tidy and smooth. Small letters spelled details about Odysseus, gods, and fables.
“You have a quiz about Greek mythology?”
“Oh no.” She shook her head. “I’m doing research since I got the part in a play about this stuff.”
“Let me guess: Aphrodite?”
It was a basic line - so easy, actually, so obvious. But it fit so well and her ears started to color again. She covered her mouth to giggle, then sat up straighter. The form of her back was like a duchess's: composed, slant, smooth. But she wasn’t a duchess. No - perfect lips, eyes shimmering; she was something more. Something else.
Olivia pursed her lips before smiling softly. “If I were naïve Ma’am” - there was that word again, sweet and faultless but making you pent up, as she considered you with a serious gaze - “I’d think you’re trying to flirt with me.”
“Too quick for that, don’t you think?” you backtracked. You had to be appropriate. Yet you reeled forward again: “But you’re a beautiful girl, fitting for the part.”
You normally didn’t go for the model-in-the-making girls, much less ones who were younger than you. But she had this different aura about her. She was quiet, sweet, and incredibly polite while maintaining her popularity and schoolwork. She was each one of those but people still chose to put her down. You wondered how she dealt with everything. What was behind that pretty, pretty face?
“Unfortunately, being pretty doesn’t free you from my rules.” You pointed at the clock. Regret filled your heart as you informed her. “It’s 7 PM. According to school regulations, I was supposed to close twenty minutes ago.”
“Why didn’t you close then?” A smile creased the corners of her eyes and emphasized her lips. “I thought being beautiful didn’t exempt me?”
There it was. She knew how to reply, how to send back a maimed question with a bigger bullet. This was why people liked to deem her an intimidation.
She was smart, cunningly sweet. You never doubted Olivia’s intelligence but it still surprised you. She looked at you knowingly while you flustered. You searched for an answer when all you searched for was the hike of her skirt up her thighs. She knew your game, and she was not afraid to play it.
Olivia was a tactful, patient pupil. She sat with her hands folded in her lap - like a good fucking girl - and waited for your response. You mustered nothing. It felt stupid to stand there and wordlessly admit you got cornered by a nineteen-year-old.
“It . . . does now.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
Fuck.
“You know you can take these books back to your dorm? All you need is a library card.”
“Oh!” Delighted, she stood up and beamed with a light that always was with her, even in the night. “When can I get one?”
“Here tomorrow. Like I said, library hours are done.”
Olivia didn’t take your sternness to heart. She picked up her bag and slung it on her shoulders. She began to leave.
She was simply following orders but you hated to see her go. You were already yearning for her. You would have wanted to like her in a purely pure way, but you weren’t a good woman. You yearned for the slip of her stockings down her knees, the prop of her neck, the flight of her hair as the wind pushed past her.
She turned to you at the doorway. Did she read your thoughts? Did she forget something?
“Well,” she said, “if here’s where you want me to be.”
Then, in a low voice and the final smile of the day, “Ma’am.”
Plenty of students came in after her. They were either the ones who didn’t have friends to eat lunch with (you didn’t enforce the no food rule for them) and the ones who were rowdy, using your sanctuary as a place to yell and make jokes (you tapped the silence rule taped to your desk.) Everyone signed their names in your log book, but the words flew past your notice. All those days gone and your eyes still remained on Olivia.
Everyday she sat on the loveseat with her legs crossed. She didn’t speak one word. Olivia simply read and read and read, occasionally pausing to rest and take notes. Her nose was buried in the book, but you could see her brilliant eyes above its edges. They disseminated, observed, analyzed. The rest of her face was covered and you still found her beautiful.
“Ma’am,” spoke a student nearing your desk, “can I get a library card?”
The background blurred. You looked at the student and realized you were staring at Olivia for too many an hour. You had to focus. Ogling at a student was inappropriate, and not what the private university paid you for.
Also, the title didn’t sound as nice as it did if it came from someone who wasn’t Olivia Hayes.
“Of course.” You rose from your chair as you took his ID.
“It’s free, right?”
“Yes, no charge.”
You typed in his name. It wasn’t long or a unique one but you had to read it several times over to ensure its correctness. Typical procedure. Ronny. Soon, his library card was laminated and printed. You placed it on your desk for him to take.
Thanking you, Ronny picked behind his ear. “I couldn’t help but notice,” he began, “you were looking at Olivia for a bit there.”
You swallowed. Were you that obvious? You hated to think so. The last thing you wanted was your ogling at the girl to be something controversial. (It was.) You were doing it for days, ever since her initial visit.
What did you say to him? What did you do?
“Oh, uh. No. I just space out a lot.”
He saw through your lie. His easy grin made you uncomfortable. Why? He was just making conversation. “I mean, I understand. She’s really pretty and popular, but she doesn’t have many friends.”
You turned to look at Olivia. She was still reading. The whole time she was quiet and preserved, not taking time to speak to others. She liked to keep to herself for a girl who was the talk of the campus.
“Doesn’t she?”
“She needs someone to talk to,” he told you. His words were overly friendly, like he was lulling you into a drunken false sense of security. “I think you’d be perfect. She’s just getting into reading.”
“I-I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.”
He gave you a smirk of knowledge and left. Shit. Why did you have to be so indiscreet? You quickly collected yourself and returned to your book. You had to forget about it.
The characters in your book fought against dragons and fell in love and fell apart and passed on. Chapters became nothing like the minutes. There were rare moments when you had to look up and assist someone, but aside from that, the day was relatively uneventful.
Night arrived, slowly like it always did. You were a dedicated reader, but the story was uninteresting compared to the pretty girl lounging across you. She was the only one there now.
Before you could return your eyes to the book and stop watching at how she flicked her hair back and checked her phone, she caught you. Her attractive smile was full of awareness of your plight. You quickly looked down at the pages. It was too late.
School shoes tapped a rhythm on the floor as she approached you. She leaned down on your desk. You tried to ignore her and pretend she wasn’t there. But Olivia had a face people would never forget. She was most likely someone’s first love, who, even when along came a girl who filled their life, was not erased from memory. No, she was too precious to let go.
“You know,” stated Olivia, her tongue curved upwards at the side of her lips, “you could just talk to me. I’m not scary, am I?”
You lowered the story. She was so good to look at. Her hair was tossed over the side and she wore a carefree smile that invited you to close the book.
Was she scary? Yeah - her exclusiveness, tight-knit friendships and beautiful wit - you’d call that scary.
But the fear always turned into a yearning - please notice me when I walk past; please say my name again; please ruin me- let me ruin you-
“Sure.” You gave in. “What do you wanna talk about?”
She thought for a while. “Anything that’ll make us friends. I like you. It’s gonna be easy.”
Being friends didn’t sound dangerous. What could happen? It’s not as if the moment you bonded you would suddenly grab the small of her back and let your lips meet.
“Wanna get out of here?’’ She framed her cheek with her fingers. “I’ll put on a jacket. Nobody will know.”
You’d love nothing more. But was it alright? There were lines being crossed here: the relationship between a student and a mentor; the rules; the propriety.
She looked you up and down, taking note of everything, then cocked an eyebrow. Oh, it was a challenge. Would you give in?
You found yourself buttoning your coat and walking out with her. The library had to close early. She grinned and looped an arm through yours. You made an excuse that your sudden freezing up was due to the night air.
Well, it was chilly. The breeze puffed Olivia’s hair into the night. She always made herself look like a femme fatale from a fan favorite watch - red lips; smoky eyes; and a tendency to make anyone want her. Ah, not a tendency - she was a natural heartstealer. She broke it even if you weren’t a thing when you saw her with boys, with girls, with anyone looking to tear her uniform down in pieces when you felt the exact same thing.
The school looked more serene in the darkness. It was so grand but looked just like home. Old bricks built themselves up into pillars that resembled castles. Dim light illuminated from dorm windows.
“It’s nice to get out of that place for once,” Olivia said. She tilted her head to the school and sighed humorously. But the smoke of air that left her mouth shook a little too. “It’s kind of suffocating in there, honestly.”
The branches reached for her hair. Your shoes were torn by growing roots. But through everything, you kept walking. You wanted to know: what was more to this forest? What was more to her?
“Let me guess,” you said. “It’s the popularity contests? Friends? Math?”
She rolled her eyes, a confirmation. “Ugh, math.”
“You’ll get through it,” you assured her. It was cliché to say, but everything would eventually come to pass. You were on a planet in a galaxy in a galaxy in a galaxy, or whatever. It didn’t matter. “I mean, I did. If anyone could do it, it’s you.”
“I was gonna say you did excellent getting through it, but I don’t know you that well.”
“So get to know me.”
You talked, and Olivia was surprisingly easy to connect with. She listened with attentively creased brows and an occasional laugh. You narrated the basics: “read” was your first word. You did your classmates’ homework in exchange for candies. Reading was your foundation. If you had to go without it, you died.
You thought that she would make a joke about the cheesiness, or worse, laugh at you. But she didn’t. She kept listening. She sometimes threw you a few interesting questions that kept the drain of conversation going. The thoughtful, caring energy in her face was solid and you felt undeserving to bask in it.
“What I like to say is I’m a reader before a woman,” you told her anyway. The depths of the forest came up and for some reason you weren’t scared. It was the rumor mill for ghosts and hookups, but you were with Olivia. Why would you be scared? “That’s how I wound up here in a uni, letting them read what I have.”
Olivia nodded, hands on opposite elbows. The trees towered over you and made horrific shadows on the dust. Fear didn’t get to you. “Do they pay you well?”
“They do.”
“Must be fun.” She bit on the inside of her cheek, making the soft skin hollow. “Doing something you love.”
There was a wistfulness in her voice. Her expression was dreamy as she thoughtfully stepped over the roots and twigs.
“Well,” you began, carefully, “what do you love?”
Olivia smiled self-assuredly. “Me.”
She told her story. She was born rich, lived rich, and would die rich. Her mother was an heiress whose love was a businessman, and the wealth would go on for the next ten or more generations. She wanted to be an active and proper student, behaving well enough so as not to take advantage of her father buying her out of any situation. She participated in many clubs and, according to this year’s paper, was the school’s Actress of The Year.
You didn’t think you had too much coffee today but you thought that it wasn’t illusion she had inched closer. Olivia’s knee was beside yours, and she was speaking and chuckling like you weren’t close to being insane about how smooth her skin felt.
Was this the “bitch” who supposedly broke hearts and ruined lives? She flipped her hair and giggled like she had all the time in the world. She didn’t seem so terrifying.
“I try not to be so stuck up. I want people to leave me alone, but only when I need them to.”
You shrugged. “That explains why . . . ”
“Yeah?” She was not going to let that obvious halt pass.
You blinked. “Oh, I didn’t mean-”
“It’s fine,” she dismissed, continuing the path down the forest. Olivia studied her fingernails. “It’s not like I don’t know people think I’m a bitch.”
So she knew. She had that admirable composure steadying her, but how did she deal with the falsehood? There was everything to cope with - the pressure of her parents; school; and friends who expected a lot from her. What was her method?
“For the record, I don’t think you’re a . . . ”
“Say it.” Olivia’s eyes flicked up from her nails and shot you with a cheekiness that made you feel lightheaded. “Call me a bitch.”
She slipped her hand in yours. The textures of your skin were vastly different. Hers was as soft as a baby’s cheek. Smooth and blemishless too.
“Actually,” she added coyly, “call me whatever you want . . . Ma’am.”
You stared back at her. What did you just start? She winked at you then continued talking like she didn’t almost cause a heart attack.
The moon was stark and sent bursts of wind whipping you around. Sometimes you felt her grip tighten around the slots of your fingers to keep her balance. You hoped your palm wasn’t sweaty.
“They’re right though.” She giggled, fixing the blazer of her uniform. “I need a little redefining. So I’m doing some self-improvement, working on my habit of rolling my eyes.”
“You’re a perfect student,” you joked, but you meant it. Every word was genuine. “You’re intelligent, pretty, studious, and committed. Who do I have to fight to be you?”
As expected, she rolled her eyes with a stifled simper. You both burst out laughing and for a few seconds it was all you knew. The lines of her smile, the shrink of her eyes as she chuckled - it was all so beautiful.
“Seriously! You’re a beautiful girl. And that hair is lethally gorgeous.”
“Thank you. It’s smooth too. I guess combing like ninety times a day helps.” She scooted closer, as if close weren’t close enough, and turned her head. Golden-brown locks showed themselves to you. “See for yourself.”
Was she bold or just friendly? You gingerly ran your fingers through them. No knots blocked your way. Each thread was silky and clean. This was the kind of soft you’d feel on pillows in hotels you couldn’t afford. You were pretty sure she had well-paid, adoring women who attended to her for this.
It felt intimate. Too intimate. There was hesitance as she observed you, like she wanted to do something but had to think twice. You were getting so comfortable in the familiarity of her features that you had to remember she was a student and you were . . . you. This was like busting yourself out of the closet and getting yourself a case of being improper with a student, although she wasn’t a child by any means.
You put your hand back down. “What color is it?” you asked.
“I dunno.” She shrugged. “Brown? Blonde? Somewhere in between?”
Whatever it was, it looked good on her. Everything looked good on her. She was the only student you saw who never looked stuffy in the hot uniform. The British air was hot in the morning but not one drop of sweat stuck to her skin. Her mane of somewhere-in-between was articulately brushed and straightened.
Footprints of athletes still were visible on the ground. You stamped your foot over a mark of a rubber one. She followed suit. With that, you left a sign you were here. It might be the only sign that you ever lived.
Books and shelves faded over time, but the earth would always remember your mark. It was sort of sentimental. This would be the first and only time you live, and you were glad to spend it enjoying a night with a girl you liked and getting to know quickly. Maybe you knew her all along.
“If you really think I’m all that,” Olivia said, toying with the zipper of her jacket, “you should come to the play. I’ll prove my worth. It’s next week.”
“I’ll be there,” you instantly replied.
You’d love to see her act again. Plays weren’t your thing but it would be good to see Olivia onstage, reciting her lines with deep emotion and twirling from prop to prop. You knew she wouldn’t disappoint.
Her eyes lit up, and that response told you, without overassumption, of a mother who was too busy to come to her activities, of a father who wasn’t there. Never was. “You promise?”
She was holding you to it, you could tell. It was a promise you were willing to keep. You’d never break it if the circumstances tested you.
“If that’s where you want me to be.”
“That’s my line,” she objected. She pulled the end of her skirt down to her knees. The waistband sank and unveiled modest skin. It was so devoid of ill intention that it was just right to make you feel guilty for looking. “If you use it, you need to have a nickname for me too.”
She turned to you. The crescent moon refracted in her pupils. Olivia was dead serious. You stopped in your tracks and tried to think. But she was there - so gorgeous, so put together and so lovely - that it made your thoughts go static.
Right from the start, you yearned. You thought it began when she visited your library for the first time. But now you thought that it dated back to watching her act, watching her and her group of friends, watching her be herself in a midst of elites. You wanted her since the moment she stepped in the university and it was difficult to deal with.
Why? Because you wanted to call her a lot of things. Each would be sweet or sour, whichever she chose, as she sank between your legs and/or sat in your lap and/or just kept being the tantalizingly beautiful thing she was.
“What’s something people call you?” you offered weakly.
“Uh. Ollie and um, Hayes-Are-For-Horses” - you laughed and she had to explain it was back in primary, when she used to be bullied by the people who desired her now - “Liv, Livvie, Livia, Princess-”
“Princess?”
She looked down, a little embarrassed. “My friends call me that. It’s my code name.”
She was a princess, truly. Olivia was everything a princess should be. That’s why her peers loved her. That’s why her peers hated her. She was royalty, and people didn’t know if they wanted to lust for her or reject her just to say they had the opportunity to.
You nodded approvingly. “Very fitting.”
“That’s it then,” she said, satisfied. “You’re Ma’am, and I’m Princess.”
Saying the name felt like sinning - you realized this when you thought it over. But she was smiling again, so of course you’d do it without penance.
The play was beautiful. The props were crafted diligently and all actors quoted with diction and importance. You sat at the front as staff should and kept searching for your favorite student. She came in a white dress and hair styled in endless curls, and delivered a performance deserving of whatever Oscar there was for college plays. She was an excellent actress. All bias melted when you believed she was the best out of the whole drama club. Even her fellow actors said so.
While Olivia performed her nuances, she looked at the crowd, as if willing them to come onstage and save her. The fourth wall was broken through. You were too. She saw you at the front, went out of character with a smile, and got away with it. Her slip-up was so unnoticeable that at the end of the play, you thought you would have signed up for drama club if you were a student. She made it all look so easy.
“You came!” she said, bouncing off the stage stairs and wrapping you in an unexpected hug.
You fought back your giddiness. She was just being friendly. You returned the embrace like a good friend should. “Of course.”
The purple dress swayed around her like water, the little details and seams the seashells that fit the siren that she was, born from foam. You saw it hug her waist and flow around her legs and - despite everything: your promises to remain professional, a good senior, a good friend - you couldn’t deny she looked insanely good.
She ushered you backstage as the curtains closed. The cheers erupted for her, and you could picture her making it really big out there. She was gorgeous, talented, and excessively charming - a director would ditch screenplays to cast her. The coach was sure to die if they watched her rehearse. And anyone’s going to fall in love with her, really.
“Beautiful,” you remarked, and it could mean either way: the performance or the pretty little thing in front of you.
“You liked the yelp I did when Paris dragged me?” asked Olivia. Her eyes contained all the stars in the galaxy. She made a wish to each of them, asking for an eager attendee to her play. “I strained my voice, but I did good, right?”
Never did you ask about the black wig, or the smoky makeup, or the way she was almost in tears - almost like she never expected you to come. Or anyone for that matter.
All you said, squeezing her forearm where you could feel the beat of her excitement, was: “The Princess was more than great.”
She never got that library card. Olivia chose to stay in your library for hours at a time rather than take them back to her dorm. The play was done but she began reading for fun instead of necessity. You recommended her thrillers and romance. Your heart grew bigger. She was actually very easy to be fond of.
Now she took a seat near your desk where she occasionally asked questions - what does this word mean? what language is this? have you read this? - and left you biscuits in your lunch break. You enjoyed her company. You were insecure about a lot of things but one: she did back.
“Coffee.” Olivia brought a cup of steam to your desk. She pulled a chair to your desk and sat on it, crossing her legs. “Nobody’s here. The rules don’t exist.”
Your heart did a little offbeat thump. She was a generous girl. You forgot to thank her upon seeing that her strawberry blonde hair was tucked into a bun on her head. The strong curve of her jaw and her swan’s neck were just out there.
Olivia’s full lips closed on the straw of her iced coffee. You couldn’t stop watching her. You could help her out with her lessons - there’s her opened textbook, her reviewers - but you had eyes only for her. What a cliché. But you’re a reader. You liked your fair share of clichés. You could give this one a pass.
“Thanks Princess,” you said. You took the coffee and blew its smoke out. “You’re really kind.”
She was the kindest girl you ever met. These past few months, she did nothing but keep you company and spoil you. Olivia was a generous princess - she stepped out to meet the populace, give them food worthy of a royal, and kept them company. That was why you liked her.
You stopped there. You didn’t want things to go too far. Not yet. These feelings you had for Olivia were inappropriate and deserved hindering. But she was just so beautiful and lovable that blocking the thoughts from your head felt like torture.
“It’s no problem.”
She was smiling again. You really wondered how her peers carved her out to be an alleged pain. She was so thoughtful that you were beginning to think if anyone had chosen to befriend you this way. Were you even deserving?
“What are you studying?” you asked her. You had to make conversation before you slipped up again.
Olivia’s simper melted. “Math.”
You looked over at the formulas, fractions and calculations. It already made your head hurt. “Can’t help you with that,” you said regretfully. “It’s either I don’t know it or I forgot that thing a long time ago.”
“Can you help me with something else?”
After you nodded, she began to speak. Well, tried to. She trailed off, looking blankly at her textbook. Her face wore a blue little look that was a break of character from the serious one she always had. Olivia Hayes, as far as you knew, was not once lonesome.
“It’s been . . . really hard these days. I’m sorry, I know it’s completely out of topic but-”
“You can tell me anything.”
Hope crossed her features. She didn’t really have anyone to trust with her feelings. Her mother was too busy. Her friends would use them against her. The guidance counselor would just tell her to pray. Would you listen to her without bias?
“I don’t know if I’m hanging with the right people. I don’t know if I’m even that good. I don’t know if I-” Olivia stopped and made complicated gestures with her hands. A defeated sigh sounded from her slim throat. “-am.”
Self-doubt. It was your accurate diagnosis. You were surprised that a girl like her would experience it, but even the most confident people went through that. It would be easy to assume from the way she walked, talked, and acted that she had all the assurance for herself.
Olivia sighed at her textbook and shut it. Her shoulders were trembling. Was she sulking? Nearly crying? You couldn’t bear to see it.
“I don’t think I know myself at all.” She swallowed, then without looking at you, asked, “Do you ever feel that way Ma’am?”
She was too young and too pretty to be going through this dilemma. You couldn’t say you didn’t go through the exact same thing yourself in the younger years of your life. But seeing the look of pride and strength disappear from her face was a death to your own self-pity.
You looked at your hand close to her. The pins you gifted for her bag. The jacket you let her borrow after she lost it. Foolish to think, but maybe you finally found someone you could care about more than you did yourself.
“Every day of my life,” you said quietly.
“Oh,” she whispered, nodding. She said nothing more. Olivia’s view was focused on the cover of her textbook, which boasted happy students reading from it. It wasn’t the case for her. Revising this subject, being in this school? It didn’t make her happy.
Well, one thing did.
It hurt to see her like this. Had anyone ever considered what she felt? Or did she put up a front, being pretty and kind?
“I just feel like I’m wasting borrowed time,” Olivia muttered. Each fragment of her broken sentences grew heavier. “I want- I need-”
Before she could burst into tears, you tilted her face up. The water in her eyes remained there. What held them back besides your gentle hand was the tight frown of her lips. She was trying very, very hard not to break down.
“Hey. Chin up Princess,” you told her. You offered her an encouraging smile. “I know you. You’re a strong girl, aren’t you?”
Her eyelids were still puffy in their fight to keep her tears back. She didn’t quite believe that. But you would make her.
“Look at you. You’re smart, studious and sensitive. Nothing would make me think otherwise.”
Her gaze lingered on you, thoughtful. Did you really think that? Were you this sweet to anyone else? She chuckled and looked down shyly. “Alliteration.”
Smart girl. “That’s right,” you said. “I’m rubbing off on you.”
“I guess that makes me okay.”
“You’re doing great. I promise.”
Light coffee stained the end of her mouth. You wiped it away with your thumb. A bit of her lipstick smudged your skin. An indirect kiss?
When you retracted your touch, you thought the coffee was doing something to your head again. You could have sworn that Olivia leaned in.
And just when you thought lines couldn’t be crossed further:
People like to believe in things that they can see. Why trust in ideas that aren’t visible to the naked eye - it’s a lie for sure, right? Thus, the concept of atheism. Thus, the need for eye witnesses in court, primary sources, the like. Thus, the school not believing that the odor of cigarettes from behind the library could possibly be from you.
Well, they’d be damned.
Gray floated from your mouth like a lost dream. Vices aged along with your soul. See, you weren’t a bad kid. You stayed in school, did your homework, only tried a few prohibitions. But the smoking stuck to you - it reminded you of a more youthful time. It also made you feel a little light on your feet.
The thing was: the school couldn’t know. So you sank into the wall of the back of your library, fingers twined between a cigarette. You may not know yourself but you weren’t depressed or anything - it’s just a thing you do, like drinking coffee in the morning and writing. People often got that wrong.
The forest was just close by. Naturally you mistook the crunches of leaves for the usual PE class. Then they grew louder, and when you turned your head, there was-
“Ma’am? Oh!” Olivia stopped in her tracks and gasped sharply. It was a sound only an actress could make - sweet, tiny. “I’m sorry, am I-”
You waved your wrist. “Not at all,” you said. If there was anyone in the school you trusted with this secret, it was her. “It’s just smoking. I’m not committing a felony.”
She nodded. Her eyes remained doe-wide.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it time for your classes?” you asked.
It was the middle of the afternoon. She should be having English at this hour. Would they be surprised to find out that the top student was absent? The reason being . . . you?
Olivia swept her hair back. Time slowed down and made permanent the flight of her mane and the pride that stayed. “I’m cutting. I know, I’m a very bad girl.”
She was skipping classes for you. You didn’t want to assume, but was your friendship really that strong? It felt like you knew everything about her. She knew you too, like a book. She read you from cover to cover and annotated your pages. Olivia was a significant part of your life now.
“Oh, what have I done to you.” You played into it as if you were an actress as good as her. What she didn’t know was that you were enjoying it.
Her nose wrinkled at the smell of your cigar. Still, she stepped closer, albeit cautiously. “Can I-”
“Leave?” You nodded. “Sure. Secondhand smoke’s cancerous.”
Yet if there’s anything you would hate, it would be for her to go.
Olivia shook her head. “I-I’d like to try, Ma’am.”
Your brows were furrowed. You took one look at your cigar then at the student. She was looking down shyly, her side fringes hanging from her face. It was obvious she was trying to prove something. But what else did she have to make worthy to you?
“I don’t think that would be appropriate.”
“Please?” she said, a pout stretching on her pretty mouth.
“Princess.”
Your sharp tone didn’t hold her back. It seemed to drill her on. Olivia slipped beside you with a look in her eyes that you didn’t know if you liked. Her lashes sat low and her smile - god help me. Like that wasn’t enough, she wore a low ponytail with a few specks of hair left untied. She was too beautiful, and you weren’t strong enough to handle it.
She let a finger twist through the smoke. “It’s just smoking,” Olivia echoed. “I’m not committing a felony.”
Her character was hard to read sometimes. She could be sweet and innocent to you then switch to being a coy serpent that told you to do all the wrong things. Her breath next to your ear didn’t help your hypocritical case. The fight in you yelled to be the bigger person, to tell her it wasn’t right. It was anything but easy when she had a face that you’d die to hold.
“I don’t have more on me,” you excused. It was the truth - your pockets were empty, this was the only one you got.
“Wouldn’t mind using yours.” Olivia was almost whining at this point. The desperate look on her face was one you chased after, and you wanted to make her beg more. She sounded pretty that way. “I’m not a child, am I?”
She had a point. It wasn’t like you were giving away and teaching vices to an impressionable little girl. It didn’t feel right.
“Please, Ma’am?”
You found yourself giving it to her - not only this, but your everything. Your future, your job, your morals.
Your main takeaway from that moment wasn’t to never do that again, or remind yourself that you could easily say no to a pretty girl (you couldn’t.) It was this:
Olivia Hayes’s lips looked gorgeous wrapped around a cigarette.
She was made for the part. Her mouth fluttered around it while her stare was distant, piecing something together. She lowered it down and blew a ring of smoke in the air, just like in the movies. Olivia was an old Hollywood actress - a blonde bombshell; the main lead.
“It feels . . . ” She struggled for a word. “Good.”
You took the cigar away from her. “Don’t get attached,” you said. It was genuine advice. “We all know how that ends.”
She was smiling. You were too.
She rested her head on the brick wall, facing you. Not quite - her gaze was fixated on your lips. “You look beautiful today Ma’am.”
You leaned forward. It was a dare for her to be audacious enough to prove it right. “Really now?”
The bump of her neck bobbed. You realized that your faces were too close to each other. Her lips were so full that it would take a small stumble to accidentally kiss her, to accidentally pin her to the rusty wall of this building. Those wide, princess eyes stared back at you in fear.
It was your signal to back up. This wasn’t right. No matter how beautiful she was or how close you were, flirting with a girl years younger than you wasn’t right.
Even in the silence that carried guilt, the universe didn’t take kindly to your offense. It brought about a punishment you would remember: the snap of a camera flash.
You jolted. Who was that?
Privy to your conversation, there was the man who asked for a library card. He was smirking. You knew and tried to avoid him because it was an open secret: he was bad news. He blackmailed, lied, used-
Ronny Kent was his name, and he was not a good person.
There was Mika, whose reputation was solidly ruined after he leaked a picture of her. The rumors were too loud to keep secret. Then the janitor who only wanted a private moment with his partner. Ronny turned everyone inside out and it wasn’t pretty.
“Chainsmoker and a slut,” he said to Olivia, lowering the camera. “You play every game, even your friends. Gotta respect you for it.”
“Shut up,” said Olivia. Her jaw was tight. She spoke very softly that the insult bore no real bullet. “Please.”
But she meant this one. You hadn’t seen her this uncomfortable. There was real fire in her eyes but a downness in them too. This was not the first time Ronny had seized her dignity and smashed it beneath his feet. You could tell from the sudden rigidness of her body, the loss of her stability.
You couldn’t speak. He was so close to her, and you were afraid you would shove him if he came closer. Maybe you should.
“I don’t think so.” Ronny’s mouth sat next to Olivia’s ear. She cringed in spite of trying to remain nonchalant. Hot odored breath huffed on her face. “Get out of my way.”
Olivia stared down at her socks. Nothing else existed to her. She felt cornered, afraid and humiliated.
“Mr. Kent.” Your authoritative voice was no match to a teenage rebel. You glared at him and crossed your arms, but he took none of the signs. “It’s not your place. I’ll kindly ask-”
“When I told you to be her friend,” he said, completely ignoring you as he stroked the camera lens, “I didn’t mean to try hooking up with her. What would her boyfriend think?”
Boyfriend?
Olivia lifted her head with a short-lived defiance. “He broke up with me, Ronny.”
“Of course, because he found out she kissed me.” He was proud of it too. “She took me on a date. Ice cream and coffee.”
Olivia had just cut things loose with Donté. She never told you why. But this couldn’t be true. That wasn’t the girl you held close to your heart. Anger was clear in her face but she didn’t move. She took each word to heart as tears welled up.
You had never seen Olivia Hayes cry before. This might be the first time.
“Everyone knows what you did to Mika,” she said, slowly and sourly. The end of her sleeve brushed at her eyelid. “You can’t hurt people anymore.”
“Oh, you don’t know that, Princess.” Ronny squeezed her shoulder. Each move he made stenched of bad luck. “I guess you’ll have to wait and see.”
Olivia was trembling so bad you had to step forward to hold her. You had to defend her and set a boundary with Ronny, who had crossed anything you could have made. To your shock, she left before you could speak up. Her shoes clicked angrily to her exit.
And there was Ronny’s cruel smile that told you nothing good was going to come out of this.
And there was her somewhere-in-between hair: soaring in the wind, like a closing curtain.
You finished several good reads and Olivia was still not visiting you. She hadn’t been for the past three days. It was beginning to concern you.
You watched the campus from outside of your library. It was full of rushing, bustling students, but you couldn’t spot Olivia. Your heart ached. She was a face you could spot in a crowd miles away but she wasn’t showing up in one or alone.
Was that her friend? A pretty girl with hooded eyes and an atmosphere around her that reminded you of Olivia. “Excuse me?” you asked. “Amber, right?”
She looked almost irritated to entertain you. She always wore that bored expression anyway. “Yes?”
“Have you seen Olivia? Olivia Hayes?”
“She’s probably here. Or there.” Amber lifted her shoulders. “I don’t know.”
“Well, if you see her, please tell-”
“I don’t want you looking for her,” interrupted Amber seriously. The little once-over she did told you that she knew something, and everyone did too. She wasn’t afraid to be upfront about it. “If what they say about you is true, you shouldn’t be allowed near her.”
She left without another word. That was the end of it.
Now you knew why less and less pupils logged in. Ronny had done the job: spread the rumor, took the reins, rendered you completely of your power.
It was your fault. If he had crossed a line, you crossed thousands with Olivia. From your thoughts to your gestures to the bond you had - none of it was supposed to happen. None of it.
You brought this upon yourself.
You didn’t want to seem suspicious by asking around. Anyone who visited your library knew you and Olivia were close. You didn’t want to ruin the girl’s reputation.
Maybe someone already did.
The days felt empty without her. No biscuits, no fun conversations, no Olivia. You missed her coquettish laugh and lean posture and thoughtful little gestures. The desk across yours was devoid of a girl who became important to you. Everytime someone entered, you hoped it was her tall and pretty self coming to check in on you. Much to your dismay, faceless pupils were the only people logging in.
It hurt. You didn’t want to make this about you. But it hurt.
You had to quit being selfish. She probably needed space. Space? She wasn’t your girlfriend. She couldn’t be.
You were finishing up for the night. The screen of your computer was bright. It reflected in your tired eyes an Excel sheet. It was a record of late fees and damage compensation. Someone had missed their return date and as much as you didn’t want to charge anything, you had to. Generosity wasn’t a skill they hired you for.
Calculus. It was exam season; you expected that.
What you didn't expect was the loud banging on your door.
“Jesus-” You flung out of your seat, clutching your chest. The clock said it was past 7 PM. Didn’t they have a watch? Elite heirs usually had watches whose prices skyrocketed past your salary. So who was it?
You ignored it, sitting back down. It wasn’t your fault they couldn’t read the rules.
The rummage of the knocks grew louder than the typing sounds. Along with the darkness and otherwise complete silence, it was beginning to terrify you. Words didn’t make sense for the first time ever. You had to tell them to cut it out.
You stood, paced to the entrance and opened the door.
“Ma’am?”
It was Olivia.
She was crying.
Tears streaked her face. Sniffling, she threw her arms around you. Her back rose and rested to the tempo of her sobs, an unwelcome rhythm. The redness in her eyes and the desperation in them - full of need to be comforted, to be held - you ached seeing it.
Something was wrong. You closed the door and hugged her. She was shaking like she had escaped a rainstorm. The only rainstorm here was the flood of sobs that stained her cheeks. Now they spotted your collar.
“Ma’am,” she murmured. Her lips were on your neck, vibrating her cries into your skin. Oh, if you could, you’d take that with her pain. “I thought I lost you. Ma’am-”
Olivia’s voice was broken. She said your nickname not only to call you, but almost like a reminder that you were here. She had nobody else.
You held her tight and let her cry it out. It was alright, you told her. You were here. Your hours were done but you had and would add more if it was for her.
“I’m here. Hi Princess.”
Your Princess.
Olivia didn’t let go. She was suffocating you with her arms knotted behind you, and a mouth that muffled her pain into your shirt. The pain that bubbled in her chest killed you. but you’d die a thousand times if it were for her.
Olivia shivered when you let go. You led her behind your desk, her safe place. She leaned against it and tried to control the tears dropping from her red eyes. But the rainstorm was inevitable. The whole day poured down on her ruthlessly.
The familiarity of everything seemed to calm her down a bit. Hands on her hips, you gently pushed her down her usual box. She didn’t sit alone. You were there for her this time.
“Hey,” you repeated.
You wanted to call her your girl, your baby, your Princess - anything that would comfort her. You wanted to take care of her. You’d wrap a blanket around her and take her out to eat. You’d kiss her and tell her you were here. You’d say: hey little dove, you don’t have to soar all the time. You could just sit here with me.
All you could do was hold her waist and try to control the shudders. “What’s wrong?”
She whined and placed her face into her hands. “I’m sorry.”
What was she apologizing for? She did nothing wrong. She couldn’t do anything wrong. She was so frail and weak as she supported herself at the end of your table that you wrapped her in an embrace again. You knew she needed it.
“Sorry for what?”
Her words trembled, regretful too. “He . . . he leaked the photos . . . ” Olivia stammered.
Your heart dropped. You didn’t need to ask to know what photos or who did it. Ronny’s visit was a revelation of the end. “Oh baby-”
It was one of a girl’s worst nightmares. There came a deceptive boy whose threats held bite to them, who deceived and lied and manipulated. Nothing could ever be given to them without the fear of the tables turning.
That was why you couldn’t find her like you always did. That was why she didn’t visit. The world was against her, and she couldn’t keep her resilience anymore.
Her breaths kept tying around her neck and choking her. You kept a hand on her back so she could at least catch them. Her shaking was knives to your chest.
“I was looking for you. I thought they . . . they took you away.” The thought got to her and she looked at you with begging written all over her face. Her frowned lips uttered the words you didn’t think would hurt you this way: “Ma’am, please don’t go away, please don’t go away-”
You pulled her close. Her hair stuck to her cheek, glued with teardrops.
“I’m not going anywhere Princess,” you told her.
She didn’t quite believe that. Sniffling, she pushed you off.
“I lied to you Ma’am,” she laughed sourly. Her thumb soothed a teardrop at the end of her mouth as she stood up. “All this time. Did you know that?”
What was she talking about? Was Ronny right? You denied it with all your heart.
Olivia looked villainous. The rage was new. She’d contained it all these years, keeping it together, keeping pretty. But this was the end of it.
“He’s spreading it around too so I think you know already. I’m not an heiress. Fuck, I’m not even rich. My dad’s been gone for years. My mom would rather die than go to my shit. But I thought that everyone would love me if I was just like them.”
“Olivia-”
“I’m sorry for lying to you!” She broke down again. She was the victim and the villain - crying, laughing; hurting, hitting. She was hysterical, hands together as she pleaded for your forgiveness. “You like me so much and I like you so much but you won’t trust me ever again. So I’m sorry-”
“Olivia.”
She beat her wrist on the counter in frustration. “What?”
Her scream deafened you. The feedback ringing was so high yet it didn’t cut out her frantic crying. It couldn’t save you from the pain of hearing her tear herself down.
You took the red trunk of her wrist and held it close. She wasn’t going to hurt herself. Not when you were around. “Olivia,” you repeated, “I don’t care if you’re rich or not. I want you anyway.”
She tossed her head back, trying to keep the water in her eyes. It pooled and overflowed. Olivia couldn’t hide anything anymore.
You squeezed her forearm. “I still wait for your gifts.”
She glanced down at your touch enveloping her. Slowly, there was a realization that sank into her.
She swallowed. “I still look if they have your favorite on the menu,” Olivia said softly.
“I still read the notes you leave.”
“I still want you to call me Princess to get through the day.”
You pulled her in. It was an unconscious decision but you didn’t regret it. Her skirt swished against your legs. You were chest to chest and stomach to stomach. No boundaries. Just her skin against your skin. Her eyes connecting with yours.
“I still pray you never get a library card,” you confessed softly, “so you can read with me everyday.”
Olivia was silent. Her glimmering eyes pierced through your soul and saw what you didn’t need to say. Actually, she would have said something herself, had she not chosen to kiss you.
She was whimpering as she devoured your lips. She held your cheek and let the passion infect you too. It was like in these little kisses, these little touches, she found a promise that it would all be okay.
(It would be - in all due time.)
You closed your eyes. Shock melted into passion, passion melted into the need to carry her to the edge of your table. Everything about her was perfect. You believed that until now.
It never stopped. Your fingers laced into her golden brown hair to lead her face closer. You would burn if she left you. Your mouth trailed hotly down her neck anyway. Even here, in the little space where her skin flexed and sweat, she was delicious.
You noticed her ragged breathing and stopped. Was it alright if you tore away the line that put you apart?
You couldn’t say anything. Were you really doing this? To a student? To a girl that you adored?
Olivia’s legs were spread open. Her chin below yours, she blinked up at you. “Ma’am?”
Your thighs squirmed together. The word eternally had this meaning, this double-edged sword that killed you. “Yes?” you asked.
“Wh-What do you think of me?” Olivia asked weakly. The vulnerability in her question was painfully sweet.
You kissed down her chest and opened her blouse. Little gasps coming from her pulsing throat sounded like heaven. Her pretty bra cupped her breasts and she was just singing these tiny moans - begging you to take it off, begging you get your hand all up under her skirt; make the lines of her mouth twist with shock and pleasure; change the color of her face to red. Oh, she needed you to do a lot of things to her - you knew you wanted to do each one of those when you saw her walk in through that door.
Your tongue played with her stiff nipple. She began to move around, afraid to moan yet afraid to leave you hanging.
“I think,” you said, before giving a final peck to the sensitive chest that came up to your mouth, “you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
Pretty face, pretty soul. Eyes as big as the heart everyone thought was ice cold. Lashes as long as her patience, her understanding. The beat of her heart matching the loudness of her need to feel good, just for one night.
“Oh.” She sighed. A familiar pink settled over her cheeks. “I really like hearing that from you.”
“Want me to keep talking to you?” It was impossible how every scape of her flesh was appetizing. You licked behind her ear, where she could hear every word. “Want me to tell you how pretty my Princess is, what a good girl she is for me?”
Her thighs clamping around you was enough answer. She was nodding and nodding, the desperate little thing. She was just coming undone. The student, who was so confident and collected, sat on your desk with her uniform tor and lips swollen from kissing.
Her lips.
You pressed a kiss to your fingertips before tracing them to her mouth. Olivia’s lips were cushiony soft. When you slipped your digits past them, she rolled her eyes back.
Your fingers were the source where she drank and drank. Small moans fought their way out of her. She was enjoying this too much. The angry heat left in her body changed to one she enjoyed. This one made her feel giddy, made the little hairs on her skin rise. And Olivia had to voice it out in tiny sighs which provoked something in you.
It wasn’t right, but weren’t you entitled to a little sin?
You freed her mouth and instead imprisoned her chin with your hand, letting them float around her face. “You know where these are going Princess?”
Olivia shook her head. Behind that innocent look, you had a feeling she knew.
A path forged down to her skirt. It was unfair that the uniform fit her so perfectly. Under the blazer, the blouse, the curve of her body slanted beneath your touch. There came the hourglass line of her waist then the flare of her hips, full around your palms.
Olivia was getting an idea now. No sound needed to leave her mouth when it could all be read from her face. The puppy dog eyes, the quiver of her lips, the red of her cheeks.
“These are slipping right under this skirt,” you continued. You did as you said. Her slim thigh was held by a long, white stocking. It would stay on. “Right between your legs, through this pretty white underwear. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes. Oh god.” She shut her eyes. “Take it off, take it off-”
Olivia gasped sharply as you touched her. You weren’t in her - not yet. But she was already this sensitive. She squirmed around at how you cupped her core, felt how she was cleanly trimmed through the thin undershorts, how the heat was unbearable. You had to do something about it.
Not yet. You clicked your tongue, continuing to feel her. You would take your sweet time with this princess, make her feel good, make her remember this night.
“You can’t boss me around, Sweetheart.” Sweet talk never truly left your conversations despite the scolding. Punishing a poor little girl who keened and sighed to your touches was cruel enough. It was like wielding an upside-down cross to an angel. “Play nice. What do you say when you want something?”
Olivia kept shimmying her hips into your palm. Her fingers struggled on the desk to keep her stable, and her mind struggled as well to do the same.
“P-Please.”
“Yes?”
“Please . . . ” Olivia breathed, “please fuck me, Ma’am.”
Shit.
You wasted no time. She was true to being a princess - her panties were lace, frilled and white, a bow on the top. Perhaps it was simply you admiring Olivia like you always had, but it was making you so pent up: seeing her with her skirt lifted, the front of her blouse unbuttoned, her long legs embroiled in a fight not to close.
Olivia whined in response to your thumb caressing her clit over the fabric. The rhythm had her chest tightening while her breathing abruptly lost itself. She was done with the teasing.
So were you.
You hooked on the sides of the fabric and gently pulled them down. And God - if her panties were pretty, her pussy was even more so. Her wetness glistened, as if telling you it would look better coating your fingers. Filling your mouth. Sheening your thigh.
You pushed first, not pulled.
“Oh . . . oh.” Olivia lowered her head with her eyes squeezed shut. She was throbbing like crazy. She lifted her head and you could see the gratification written (no, scrawled) all over her face. “Ma’am, I- oh . . . ”
You let yourself curl inside her for a moment. The texture of her walls slid over your skin and the wetness satiated your thirst. Slowly, she took over you. And it was the same on your end - you slid yourself deeper and felt for her sensitivity. It was everywhere, taking from the whines she let out and the frown on her lips.
“Princess,” you said. ”You are so fucking tight.”
You couldn’t even start thrusting. What if you hurt her?
“Just clenching around me, yeah?” You caressed her nub in slow circles. “So damned wet too. Fuck-”
One hand on the small of her back, you buried yourself inside her. Her gasps were shorter and blunter as you fixed yourself inside her. The only thing that made it easier was her wetness, sticking to you and allowing faster movements.
You smoothed her hair as she threw her head back. Her collarbone stood out from beneath the fabric. You pressed your lips there with a nibble gentle enough to increase the sensitivity that set her skin on fire. As her jawline grazed your mouth, you felt her moans vibrate below it. You wondered if she knew how pretty she sounded.
She lost everything once you sucked on that spot. Olivia sounded prettier.
“Ma’am, Ma’am, please-” Olivia thrashed around as if she were a wild animal. What if she were? And not the royal she made herself out to be? She rode your fingers with a fury that beat the angriest of hearts, but she was whimpering - lips pursed; sweet little sounds barely escaping their soft prison. No, this girl was too angelic, too fragile to be feral - but the ferocity of her hips and the grip she had on your wrist said otherwise.
Maybe it was fate that she took you so well. All the little conversations, all that twisted yearning pinned the thread right to this moment wherein you got lost immediately upon sinking inside her cunt. She was so tight, almost too tight, but her wetness let you finger her without having to be careful. You had a feeling she didn’t want you to be careful at all.
And the thing between you and this pretty girl you had literally wrapped around your fingers? The intuition was always right.
Yes, she wanted you to nip at her beautiful shoulder so she moaned louder. Yes, she wanted you to keep a hand firm around her ass so she wouldn’t collapse against the wood. Yes, she wanted all of this - and it’s not in you to say no.
Neither was it in Olivia. The pitiable girl was tearful. Turns out it wasn’t the cigarettes that would eat away at her cleverness, the breath leaving her weak lungs - it was the pleasure. “Yes yes, oh my God, I need them, I need it, need you to ruin me-”
Her words were an invitation to add another finger, and perhaps fuck her harder on this desk. No one had to know. Not the school, not the students - it was just you and Olivia, in your own world, kissing and touching.
It was, too, an invitation you accepted.
Her chin tipped back. “M-mmm, oh!” Olivia cried. Those long lashes carried big tears that fell down her cheeks, as if she were a mystical saint, the monarch of monarchs, a girl worth worshiping. Saint Olivia Hayes, martyred by a want that blossomed in her chest for far too long. Drink from the nectar between her legs and she’d grant a miracle as good as an orgasm. “It’s just- it’s- oh-”
You thumbed at her clit fast. It was so easy to get her moaning and whining but you still felt that you had to work hard. You had to make love to her in a way that she’d forget everything. You had to drive yourself in her like you were trying to start the engine of her insanity. Oh, come on - whose approval were you trying to gain? Olivia’s?
Plausible. Because the ache of your wrist you would trade over and over for the shiver of her body and those big blue eyes staring at you with this subtext that said if you give it to her harder, she might just be yours.
“More.” You felt her twitch around you, your fingers wrapped by the heavenly feel of her pussy. “Oh fuck me now, faster. I deserve it, I’ve been so good.”
“Of course you have.” You lifted her face and looked at her with the gaze of a doting teacher, almost making this moment justifiable. You were only taking care of her. This was nothing out of the ordinary, teacher and student. “You deserve everything, Princess. Oh, you don’t even have to ask for anything. I’ll give it all to you, baby, I promise.”
And this was around the time, or perhaps exactly when, Olivia melted. Her cheeks flushed and her pout ran deeper. As queen bee and campus celebrity, she carried herself as if she didn’t need anything, not even a compliment. But the need throbbed and screamed inside her. This was the true Olivia, wanting to be petted and praised and kissed. You were the one to satiate it.
You rubbed the tips of your fingers along her weak spots while thrusting quickly. The marriage of your eyes obligating her to meet them, the curl of your fingers, the thumb at her chin - it was too much. She was pushed to the edge and she could fall at any moment.
“Don’t-” Olivia shook her head. Tears ran freely. She didn’t know what she was feeling anymore. The lust was overwhelming and there were too many things she wanted you to do to her. “Fuck… oh God, please!”
Your thumb worked on her swollen clit; meanwhile, you’d spread her legs and instantly slid your tongue through her slit. It’s fucking crazy - when her flavor pooled in your mouth and you drank her freely, she tasted like a memory. You’re already missing her. She was a habit you wouldn’t think to kill off and she’d grow within you and become part of you.
And you would lose her. Just like that.
But you would never, ever, forget her.
You lapped her up. You savored her because the repercussions would catch up and you had to save every last bit of her until you could. Oh, she was screaming, loud and raw - you heard her despite her soft thighs clamping around your head. You kept them there. You wanted to stay in her forever.
“Too much,” Olivia implored, but not for you to stop. She had a fist around your scalp and another around your heart. “Ma’am please, you’re going too fast!”
This was the first time in her life she liked being overwhelmed. Her novel plot of an expression twisted and turned - (it would end like this: beautifully, yet not the way you wanted.) She pouted, she smiled in spite of, she gaped. She did everything and showed you how good you were being to her. But nothing quite prepared her for the feel of your lips tight around her clit.
Her river flowed and flowed. She arched her back and screamed for what all of it was worth. She fell in love with you and you let her dance on the tip of your tongue. You fell in love with her and she let you quench your thirst with her taste. You - two women, from two different lives - fell in love with each other, and you weren’t quite sure how to end that.
You secured her clit in your mouth and sucked as hard as you can. She burst into tears, trying and crying and swearing that she couldn’t handle more but she’d chew off more than what she can stomach, for when the orgasm bubbled in the pit of her stomach, she knew that it was going to be difficult.
“Ma’am, please, I don’t think I can handle it.”
You were sure you were going to suffocate. The hold of her thighs around your neck was deadly.
“No, please make me cum, it’s too much!” She sobbed and rode you harder. “I can’t I can’t I can’t, Ma’am, Mommy-”
And there it ended. With the sudden drumming of your heart you didn’t know how to do it. But it finished itself with your Princess finishing on your face, static shock running through her blood and looking quite lost in her own world.
It happened. The expectation of it did not make it easier. Ronny’s photos reached the school authorities and the students. Every detail was out there in the spotlight. It included how you met, how you admired her from afar, how you were caught smoking suspiciously alone with her.
You were brought in and quietly dismissed. Nobody wanted attention brought to the school already gained by the murders happening. It was an unsafe place, for both your heart and soul. It was just right to leave.
You didn’t get to have a last conversation with Olivia. Afterwards, she simply sat there on the desk with her eyes closed and exhausted. Her head rested on your heart. You could still feel it now, as you sat at home, looking for another job. There was no use tearing up about it. It was wrong from the start and it was wrong now.
A few tears did end up on the black and white ink of the classifieds.
Not a day went by that you didn’t think of Olivia. How was she doing? Was your Princess coping? To be outed like that to what she saw as her world, to be named a slut and villain by her peers . . . it couldn’t be easy. You wanted to apologize to her in some sort of way. It would be to pay back all the good things she’d done for you. She was a good listener, a good student, a good girl. She deserved to be okay.
But how?
The answer came to you one day in the form of an email, from an unknown address but a familiar name:
We broke the rules. How about we and some good friends of mine break more to get even?
You in? ;)
Yours,
Princess
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