#also reasons for why lucifer is not on great terms with azazel (though they already wouldn’t have been in a whileee)

[fyreinhell]

i want to draw Azazel and Lilith i love her design i think they’d be besties who have a fling at some point. (I just love her design okay she deserves the sapphic stick)

They’d be so upset when she disappears.

[orionsangel86]

13x07 - Watching Notes - Lucifer, Colonel Sanders, Soap Opera story lines and one very grumpy angel of the lord... it must be a Bucklemming episode!

Since it’s a Bucklemming episode, and I have been seriously behind in getting my episode reviews completed, I thought I would instead just write out my thoughts and reactions to the episode whilst watching for the first time. Usually I don’t do this until I’ve watched an episode a few times but what better way to try to process a Bucklemming Episode than to stop and start and write some stuff down? If anything it may help me understand it a bit better.

My full watching notes and reactions to the episode along with my meta thoughts on it are under the cut. It gets pretty long as it took me over 3 hours to watch the whole thing on Friday evening! It’s taken me until now to actually complete the edit and add some pics to show particularly interesting moments. 

The first thing I did on Friday morning was ask a couple of the guys I talk to regularly what to expect from this episode without giving me any spoilers, I always want to check if I should prepare myself for anything problematic or generally horrible. Thankfully I was told that unlike the majority of Bucklemming episodes this one has nothing rapey in it! Yay! Oh how low the bar is already set!

Other than that, @tinkdw and @margarittet told me that it was so bad it was funny, but that there were some stand out scenes.

I felt somewhat prepared. My expectations were buried deep underground as I prepared myself for the worst. I’m glad I did as I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would. Full notes/review under the cut...

THEN

Asmodeus, Lucifer and Mary, Asmodeus’ plans.

Michael taking Lucifer. 

So the set up is that its gonna be all about Lucifer and Asmodeus. No surprises there. Bucklemming love their pantomime villains. 

Jack noooooo!

I still don’t understand why he hurt them before he flapped off. It seems so silly that he did that after he used the exact same ability to accidentally kill the security guard. But blaaah that was last episode moving on.

Starting with Lucifer giving a monologue. *grits teeth* It’s really hard to enjoy anything when you actually despise the sound of this guys voice.

*sigh*

All these pretty stock filler shots are quite nice, probably a major contrast between our world and whatever Michael did to the AU.

Ok so it IS Michael reading Lucifer’s thoughts. He wants our world. Because of course he does. Look how pretty those shots were. (Noted Richard is directing this so I expect a very pretty episode regardless of how absurd the script is)

I think @amwritingmeta may be right that Michael is gonna be the real big bad and the scary guy this season. I mean someone needs to be because Asmodeus is a laughable pantomime villain. So I am enjoying this. Give me more of Michael and less of Asmodeus. That is far better.

(we were talking about how I miss the old style villains, the Alistair's and Azazel's and Lilith's were truly scary and awesome to watch in action. Asmodeus in 13x02 just made me cringe so I was praying for a truly terrifying villain this season and Annelie said she hopes Michael takes that role. So I’m rooting for him to be horrifying) 

Oh look classic Bucklemming love their torture scenes. Even if it is Lucifer so I don’t care (Can’t he just stay in that hanging Iron Maiden for good?)

Yup Michael is evil. I like it.

Interesting shot of Lucifer hanging behind the statue of Christ on the cross. That is… well its ironic in a way but also potential foreshadowing. If they give Lucifer a redemption arc I swear to god I am gonna be so fucking mad you will never stop hearing about it. Lucifer cannot be compared to Jesus in any way shape or form. Just NO. Look I’m not religious here but I hate this character and after what he did to Sam he deserves nothing but an agonising death. I will not accept a Lucifer redemption arc.

Okay rant over. Moving on.

Dean has a tiny tea cup. I just wanted to point that out… do they always have tiny teacups? I thought that they were manly men who don’t drink out of tiny cups!

(EDIT: In HINDSIGHT THE TINY TEACUPS FORESHADOW KETCH AND HIS POSH TEA DRINKING)

Okay so what is so great about this scene between Sam and Dean is that it is the total opposite to the scenes we are used to when the missing person is Cas. The fact that it is SAM that is super worried and DEAN that is doing the consoling is just so refreshing and it speaks VOLUMES about the way they each feel about Jack and Cas respectively. Sam developed a bond with the kid. It’s really nice. I hope that is developed.

I know that everyone already talked about the promo scene for ages whilst I was out the other night and only caught glimpses, but I love that Dean is finally using singular terms. He is not talking about him AND Sam here and Cas knew that immediately.

“Sorry darling, my family hate you. You can’t come with me”

That is basically what this moment is. They are such husbands.

The fact that he let Cas go though with just a “Don’t do anything stupid” I mean I wasn’t expecting that because I thought Dean would be far more worried and controlling but again it is nice to see him letting go of his control issues. He trusts Cas, and he accepted Cas’s reasons for going alone (which for once made perfect sense) so I am actually okay with this.

So wait, whilst Cas is looking for Jack and we have Michael/Lucifer stuff in AU world, Sam and Dean are gonna go hunt witch killers? That’s…. okay then…. I’m not sure I understand Bucklemming’s reasons for that but maybe it will make sense later. (who am I kidding from what I have been told nothing makes sense this episode and I just have to go with it – fine. The two main characters aren’t even getting in on the main plot. Whatever. *shrug*)

Oh god Asmodeus you are not scary and your weird purring is dumb.

“I have news of the Jack”

The Jack? Ok now I’m laughing. What?!?

Asmodeus that is some serious manspreading you are doing there. Stop that. I can see your bulge and it is not sexy you evil Colonel Sanders.

(Edit - Dean validating this fandom reaction to Asmodeus later is rather therapeutic - at least bucklemming are aware their OC is STUPID but poking fun at him does not make them seem clever)

Tbh this whole conversation comes across as stupid. I can’t take any of these scenes seriously I’m just laughing and trying not to cringe.

A hunter on the pay roll? Well that is definitely gonna come up later. What happened to the Winchester leadership strategy from last season? I thought they got all the hunters rallied up and on side?

Back to apocalypse world and hey Mary got mentioned. Where IS she?

No DON’T wail on Mary for a while. Does this mean that Michael has her locked up too? I hope he’s not torturing her. Urgh that would suck.

I like the light shining through the cross towards Michael. Very nice shot again. It frames Michael as being this holy and righteous character... actually they did that before:

In the first scene they also had light shining from behind him. I like how this is basically a subversion of a classic story telling trick in film making where the good character/ hero is the one bathed in light to symbolically portray him as pure and honest and trustworthy (like an angel) but this time around Michael IS an angel with his holy light, but it is anything but good. 

Anyway...

Whenever Lucifer talks I switch off. It’s not very good for meta purposes.

Why is his shirt so sparkling white? How is this possible in a alternate universe? This makes no sense logically in this world. Symbolically though it is a sign of purity, cleanliness, goodness... all things we should totally not be associating with Lucifer so this is interesting. Redemption arc. *oh yay* >.>

So Michael has already been exploring opening alternate universes eh? Well, that once again opens up future storylines I suppose. Nice set up, Bucklemming got all the foundation stuff didn’t they?

Hey Kevin! You look terrible. Score a point for Bucklemming for actually bringing BACK one of the characters they brutally killed off.

Ok so with Kevin comes the Angel tablet and another spell that requires angel grace? Talk about a big call back. I smell another possible story foundation.

Wow so Lucifer gets his grace taken almost the exact same way Cas did, to be used in a spell the same way Cas’s was, in a season where they both act as father to a Nephilim son, and apparently team up this episode too? It’s almost like they want to make the audience see a mirror here or something?

Lucifer being a Cas mirror makes me extremely uncomfortable. Trust bucklemming to try to compare my most beloved character with my most hated character. I hate them a little bit more now.

The call backs to season 8 ARE interesting though. Kevin himself is going to through the audience right back to that season, so is the angel tablet, now this with the grace stealing. We are supposed to connect the two. 

Obviously the big themes of season 8 were the toxic codependency, the angel’s fall, Cas’s brainwashing at Naomi’s hands and Destiel. Hmmmm...

Winchesters on their witch hunt. How is this relevant to the story?

KETCH?!?

SAME SAM.

My reaction was the same as the Winchesters. I’m getting whiplash in this episode already and I’m only 10 minutes in. They better have a good excuse for why Ketch is alive.

Hello Witch Daniella. “I know you don’t like witches but I also know you help people who are in trouble”.

This was a good line. Because it’s something that encourages the reading (that some people still refuse to see) that the Winchesters don’t work with absolutes here. There are always shades of grey. Their primary goal is always to help people before they kill things. 

Also a call back to last seasons following the Ketch reveal. Ketch who sees in black and white against the Winchesters who try to focus on the “saving people” part of the tagline first.

Again with the whiplash. Lucifer is giving Kevin a lecture like he’s a good parent. All this Lucifer being right and good is making me nauseaus. It’s almost like Bucklemming are hoping to get #dadifer trending on twitter. (I sincerely hope this didn’t happen)

“Michael is a monster, pure evil”

Way to force the exposition down the audiences throats. I get it. Lucifer is the one we are supposed to root for. Sorry you irritating horned hamsters, it ain’t happening. (I should mention that Horned Hamsters is courtesy of @margarittet which I find way too funny so stole from her *love you*)

Kevin called our world “paradise world” which again, I find very interesting especially in terms of what Cas was brainwashed into thinking by Jack. Cas babe, I think you were tricked – unintentionally mind, but still. Never believe in paradise. Ever.

Welp so that explains one worry we had anyway. Lucifer got back to our world so Cas doesn’t get stuck in the AU at least. So where the hell is Mary? Is Mary not in this episode? See I really need to pay attention to the cast names at the start OTHER than Misha Collins. 

Why is Lucifer wearing a wedding ring? Who’d he marry? Or has he always wore a ring since Nick? Is this just something I have chosen to not see ever in all of Lucifer’s episodes? If so that is purely a sign of me getting old and looking for rings whenever I see men on instinct now. Jesus Saz...

Lucifer you have no grace. You can’t blow people up anymore. Also that was another call back to Cas in 9x01. WHY are they trying to make Lucifer like CAS? STOP IT!!

“My ex husband is Lucifer” Okay I’ll give them that I liked that.

More torture up close. To be expected.

Oh god I can’t with these Asmodeus scenes. I’m sorry but they are awful. All I do is laugh and cringe.

Back to the random witch case that makes no sense and oh yay, more violence and this time against women! Bucklemmings favourite thing!

(I’m sorry I did warn you that this would be a running commentary on my thoughts so its gonna get wanky)

More whiplash and now a shout out to Rowena! We knew she was coming back at some point so it’s good to finally get a story in place for her.

Tying Rowena to Ketch though is possibly tying the BMOL to the Grand Coven which is what we WANTED FOR SEASON 12 so I hope we get that. Even though I still don’t see how Ketch can possibly be alive and at this point I hope it is hilariously unbelievable and idiotic in classic bucklemming fashion because I am enjoying this so far for its absurdity.

Who the hell is this? Ketch’s evil/less evil twin??!

Holy. Fuck.

(I have had to pause and laugh out loud for about five minutes)

I swear to god that I typed that before it was said in the show. I did not just add it in later. I can’t stop laughing.

So is Supernatural now Day’s of Our Lives?!

Oh god. Bucklemming. When Dabb finally fires you maybe you will be able to get work on an American Soap Opera.

Tell me we aren’t actually getting an evil twin plot? (good twin? Just as bad as the first twin? Who fucking knows. Or cares. Wow.)

I mean, Tink was right when she said it was so bad it was laughable. I didn’t think I’d actually laugh out loud but there we go.

I pressed play and Dean says “Do I look stupid to you?”

Bucklemming this is your entire audience right now.

I did like Dean’s little “Woo” there.

So Ketch has a less evil twin brother who failed Kendricks and went to become a paid for hunter. Okay. Sounds fake but okay. I don’t know whether to keep up my suspicion and go with Dean’s gut or to actually just accept that Bucklemming are legitimately this lazy with their writing. what is real?

“Isn’t that’s what we hunters do? Kill the bad thing”

I like this because it is in opposition to what Daniella said earlier. There is a silent question being asked there: “What is it that Sam and Dean actually do?” Is their primary role to protect? Or to destroy? Again it feels like the set up of a much bigger story arc and theme.

Also it’s the kind of thing that KETCH would say. 

“I don’t care how good this story looks, I ain’t buying it” Dean you keep saying my thoughts. I don’t know how to take that. Do Bucklemming just accept that their audience is gonna hate their stuff now? Why are they reading my mind and putting my thoughts in Dean’s mouth! ARGH! It’s giving me a headache.

“There’s Ripley’s Believe it or Not Weird, and then there’s weird that’s just straight up bull” Soooo like every other episode of Supernatural versus episodes written by Bucklemming? Yeah thanks for reading my mind again Dean. Hahahaha!

I kinda feel like there is an undercurrent of self deprecation in the writing here. Like Bucklemming are poking fun at their own absurdity. I’m not sure how comfortable I feel with them being self aware - it’s like they are finally starting to consider how the fandom may react and are playing with that through the characters... are Bucklemming being... smart here? o_O

Dean not buying it though is the classic clue. Dean is always right. So maybe Ketch is just lying. I mean, come on. I really hope we don’t get an evil twin plot because this is so stupid. Dean is always right. That is like rule 1 of SPN. Please don’t screw this up. 

I feel like there is a bit of a mirror going on here.

Sam sitting opposite Ketch no.2, mirroring his position, talking about how he admires his brother, wanted to be like him.

“like you I understood my brothers issues and why he did what he did”

This sentence has a dual meaning because of the way he phrases it with the “like you”. We can read it as Ketch no 2 talking purely about his brother and Sam’s understanding of him, but there is also a reading there where he could be talking about BOTH their brothers and their issues. That was in fact what I heard on first watch.

Sam understands his brother’s issues. That’s what I took from that. Whilst that could mean a bazillion and one things about Dean, there is only one theme that has been constant this season so far and Sam always seemed to not quite understand, or at least not voice any real understanding. Here it is textualised that he does. Interesting.

I mean also the fact that this guy is defending Ketch makes me again think that he is just Ketch and this evil twin stuff is bullshit because I don’t even want to believe Bucklemming would be that lazy with their writing.

The fact that Dean was mirrored to Ketch last season as well, to then talk about regret opens up a whole can of worms about Dean’s own regrets and guilt and what he still carries around with him. This whole conversation has honestly been the most interesting so far this episode because it just seems to be laying foundations for more excellent therapy and development for the Winchesters. In a season that is supposed to be exploring the themes of parenthood and of lost fathers, well… that is something that perks me right up.

YAY CAS I WONDERED WHERE YOU GOT TO!

Wait so let me get this straight. The angels are going extinct (makes sense since they keep killing them) and they think that Jack has the power to create more angels? Like God?

My face is pretty much the same as Cas’s right now.

Shout out to Metatron and the fall. Hmmm they are proper trying to remind us of season 8 in this episode. I wonder why…

Can I just say though, I know it’s not ACTUALLY what they are implying, but the idea of Jack being enslaved so he can create new angels has so many icky connotations to it. I mean this is basically what they are saying right? That they want Jack to be their angel breeder? I mean I GET that such a thing doesn’t actually involve any biological acts of reproduction here since angels aren’t BORN but the concept is still icky to me. It’s icky enough to get my ick factor going and I swear guys I’m not TRYING to find faults with this episode but urgh. Bucklemming. Always have to have SOMETHING icky in there. I thought Daniella’s description of what Ketch No. 2 did to her was icky enough.

“He belongs to all of us”. Dude. He is not a possession.

Hey at least Cas was able to hold his own against three angels there. That was pretty good. Seriously though the fighting choreography is amazing this season.

Lucifer saves Cas by majorly pea-cocking and I have several things to comment on:

“What are you doing back in this world?” “What are you doing alive?” “It’s complicated” “Same here”

I already enjoy it. God I love Cas. I like this exchange. I can already tell that he is going to make the rest of Lucifer’s scenes far more bareable for me to watch.

Cas’s angry face is awesome. Look at angry Cas! Stab him already!

And also:

“Woah Cowboy”

BAHAHAHAHA! Yeah Cas is officially a cowboy and this makes me very happy.

Also, I picked up on this earlier but now it is super obvious to me. The super white shirt with a tan coat. 

I mean it couldn’t be more obvious if they tried. Jack was dressed practically the same way a few episodes ago. Lucifer is not only another Cas mirror himself, but also therefore a symbol of goodness. I hate that. This redemption arc and framing Lucifer as the good guy thing is really driving me mad.

Lucifer wants to save the world… Oh please.

I just gotta stop for a minute and appreciate how pretty Cas is here. Look at him. Bask in his beauty with me for a moment. He looks SO GOOD compared to the last few seasons. They were proper trying to make him look tired and downtrodden and weak these past few seasons because of his depression arc and it is SO REFRESHING to see him look so hot and badass again. I missed you Cas. You sexy thing you...

Okay moving on...

Cas and Lucifer sitting in a bar with Kingdom beer looming overhead. Kingdom beer is Dean’s heavenly beer, so I find it interesting that it is over Lucifer. I hope someone metas this properly as beer signs have never been my forte.

“The last time we were together you killed me”

“The last time we were together you stabbed me”

“Oh I’m sorry”

I love sassy Cassie here. I’ll give Bucklemming this, I am enjoying their dialogue.

“Instead of the butt of heavens joke”

“I am not the…”

Oh Cas honey, they all think you are in love with a Winchester and regularly boning him against heavens rules so yeah, you are certainly the butt of their jokes!

(This is an edit and not notes from my first watch but look at the way the light shines on Cas. This is very much the same as it was with Sam and Dean in 13x02 where the light has the effect of prison bars. We theorised at the end of 13x02 that the prison bar lighting on the boys was symbolic of their emotional prison, where they were both still repressing their true emotions at the time. This time the prison bar lighting is much more ominous. Cas will be imprisoned by episode end. Interestingly the lighting doesn’t shine on Lucifer which leads me to speculate that Lucifer will escape from Asmodeus’ prison and leave Cas behind - which will piss me off but I can’t see any other reason why the prison bar lighting would only be on Cas and not on Lucifer too. Nevertheless it is another interesting way to use lighting and cinematography to portray foreshadowing.)

“I need to talk to Sam and Dean”

*head bang* lol

“Jack. Your sons name is Jack” Yeah you tell him Cas! 

“Oh my dad” oh dear. They keep on using that now. I swear it started in fandom. 

Anyway I love Cas being so grumpy and resistant to this, even though I kind of feel like Cas wouldn’t even hear Lucifer out. It feels too much like they are trying to reignite the Cas/Crowley dynamic and I think Cas would really be far more wary of Lucifer - don’t get me wrong Misha does a great job of portraying Cas’s hesitance and suspicion but I don’t see why he would even hear him out really. This all feels like another way that Bucklemming are trying to push for the audience to root for Lucifer - which so far has been one (of many) major gripes about this episode.

The Winchesters are officially the new Bobby. Lots of phones for different places! Its nice to see stuff in canon that we have head canoned for a while. 

“evil colonel sanders” DEAN STOP READING MY MIND (I scrolled back up and yep I totally used this exact phrase - wow Bucklemming are so fandom aware now its scary)

“Yes I would like to see you too, sooner the better”

“smooth was never your strong suit”

Lol Dean senses something was wrong because Cas came on too strong for him. What even WAS that Cas? Was he actually trying to hide his real conversation with Lucifer by being all clingy with his husband?! WHAT?

Okay so backing up and considering this for a moment though, of all the things Cas could have said there, let alone maybe just telling Dean that he was with Lucifer and saying “Fuck you Lucifer I do what I want” because WHY would he have hid the phone call from Lucifer in the first place? But then to say something like THAT leading Lucifer to just think he was being a needy husband well. I dunno what to even make of it. 

But Dean immediately knew something was wrong because of Cas being over needy. Poor thing thinking Cas coming on too strong is actually a call for help... argh these two are so annoying.  

“You did tell him not to do anything stupid”

“Right and when’s the last time that’s worked?”

Oh Dean.

Now I REALLY think something is gonna go wrong. Dean is always right…

Urgh Asmodeus.

Of course Asmodeus wants to keep hell. That wasn’t exactly a shocker. 

“this new version seems a little more screwable” Really Bucklemming? REALLY? Stop trying to make Lucifer into the good guy. Stop trying to make him sexy. He is NOT screwable. He is abominable. I will fight this arc with every ounce of my meta being. Urgh. I don’t even care that this was supposed to be a funny joke for the fans. Go AWAY. 

Ten bucks says people are now shipping Asmodifer. *shudders*

@elizabethrobertajones​ is this a contender for #worstshipontheshow? Or does that title still belong to Crowlatron?

The bar was called “Nick’s bar”. Ha. Ha. *slow clap*

Why do these demons have angel blades? When did this become a thing?

I am loving the fight scenes this season. Very epic. Oh look Ketch No. 2 escaped and is helping them.

“If you’d done the prescribed cavity search you’d have found it” haha oh lovely. Lets hope he meant his mouth. Though Ketch always seemed to rather enjoy Dean’s attention... I have no doubt he’d enjoy any ‘cavity searching’ from Dean.

Maybe THAT is the worst ship on the show?

“What’s become of your angel?” I am pretty sure this is actual Ketch if he is already calling Cas ‘your angel’ to Dean. How would the new guy know to pick up on the subtext between them otherwise? He hasn’t even seen the eye sex yet!

BINGO! Actual Ketch it is. 

(that explains how he knew about “your angel” then lol)

Heh. I guess the soap opera evil twin story was too terrible for even Bucklemming to use. It was the classic Rowena revive potion instead. That actually makes sense now and I should have been smarter with that one. How else would Ketch have actually survived. Why else would he have wanted Rowena? I guess that’s how Rowena is alive too then. If that spell just needs recharging then Rowena recovered from whatever Lucifer did to her. I’m looking forward to her return that’s for sure. 

I wonder if Eileen also had a revive spell... 

They better bring her back too. :(

See as I suspected, Dean was right again. We should always trust Dean. When Dean says something feels off he is right about it. He knows. Dean didn’t believe Ketch’s evil twin story for one second. It’s interesting because that story would have almost fooled me if it weren’t for Dean being so insistent that it was bullshit. 

Okay that “Hello Dean” was so wrong it’s weird because it’s Misha’s voice but he was able to say it in a way that was so WRONG. Just like Lucifer in 11x14. Impressive.

(Also I love how everyone in all of existence knows about the famous “Hello Dean” It seriously is Castiel’s catchphrase and the fact that angels and demons know this in universe is glorious.)

I had to listen back to Asmodeus playing Cas on the phone again a few times and wow. It’s scarily cold. Dean should totally know that something was up there. I’ll be rather disappointed with him if he doesn’t figure it out like straight away. 

So Cas is in a cage and Ketch is back and working with Asmodeus now? Huh. I guess at least Cas being in a cage is a better way of getting rid of him for a few episodes than having him off on some hypocritical mission for heaven or god forbid “riverboat gambling” again.

I also guess this means that Ketch was the “Hunter on the payroll” at the beginning of the episode.

That wasn’t as terrible as I was expecting... huh. I am oddly surprised and pleased at that. What do ya know.

Final thoughts

Watching this whilst writing out my thoughts actually really helped. I was able to process my thoughts instead of getting major whiplash from too much happening too quickly. It ended up being far more palatable for me. (My second watch actually bored me to tears except for Cas’s scenes so there you go - I think I would have been far more negative than I was had I watched it straight through first time around). It was definitely too much crammed in as usual for Bucklemming, and the instance in the plot to make Lucifer a ‘good’ guy is driving me around the bend. The Ketch stuff was completely nonsensical and I am 100% opposed to him being back (the one character I would have been perfectly happy with staying dead completely). 

I can’t take evil colonel sanders seriously at all. Now I have watched him in 2 episodes I can’t help but cringe whenever he is on screen. Its worse than pantomime villain, its pantomime villain in an amateur primary school production bad. I’m sorry guys, but just nope. Even the on screen jokes about him from Dean couldn’t lighten a terrible stereotypical villain created by seriously lazy writing. 

Michael is actually pretty horrifying though and I am looking forward to what will happen there. I think he is the actual villain to root for and I hope he disintegrates Asmodeus in a puff of smoke. I am extremely annoyed that Mary wasn’t in the episode though. They could have given us something more than we got. I liked Kevin’s return and what he said about choice and paradise, though I feel he is vastly different from our Kevin in how broken he seems to be. No fighting spirit. It just shows Michael’s cruelty in the subtext and makes him even more intriguing for me.

I loved every Cas scene. Of course. Even when Lucifer doesn’t shut up Cas was perfect. He was so handsome in this episode too! In my opinion, Cas made this episode. For once Bucklemming didn’t write him grossly out of character so I’ll give them kudos for that. He did well, and he was interesting and funny and his constant exasperation and suspicion and Lucifer was spot on. He was me. Though if he was truly me I would have just stabbed Lucifer in the face. Pfft. 

So Lucifer. This was totally Lucifer’s episode. He held the most screen time and pushed the story forward. I am of course extremely biased because I despise both the character and the actor who plays him so I found it very difficult to maintain focus on anything he said, but one thing that seems certain is that he has been set up for a redemption arc. I am furious about this. I hate that they are dressing him as a Cas mirror (yes I know that Lucifer has been a dark Cas mirror since season 5) and setting him up to “save the world” and I hope that Dabb takes a far more intelligent path here and turns this story on its head. Obviously Lucifer still has selfish ambitions. ‘Fixing’ Jack so he doesn’t “favour the mother” being the one interesting point he made where he didn’t seem like the good guy. The rest of the time he was just trying to convince Cas to help him stop Michael which at a surface level seems like a really honorable heroic thing to do, especially since Michael is being framed as a really bad and villainous character. I guess time will tell what happens with this. Hopefully other writers will have their own take on Lucifer’s story and we’ll see more of his totally evil and abhorrent side in future episodes because honestly, Lucifer playing the hero makes me physically sick. 

I’m disappointed the Winchesters had so little to do. Especially Sam, he is such a reactive character right now and its pissing me off that he is so sidelined whilst his abuser and tormentor for years gets to stand in the spotlight. It upsets me that the show writers don’t consider these things. Sam needs a central role in this season and I’ll be pissed if he doesn’t get it. Obviously from an objective meta analysis viewpoint I can see WHY Sam wasn’t so integral to this episode, and I did find his sincerity and hope in Ketch’s lie being the truth interesting. Sam is so desperate to find the GOOD in the world right now and this seems to be clouding his judgement. I will be very interested to see how Sam reacts to Lucifer wanting Cas’s help. 

All in all it wasn’t the WORST Bucklemming episode, but it was pretty stupid and cringeworthy throughout. I’m just happy they didn’t totally butcher Cas and made him act in an idiotic way. Though I think they could have made him MORE resistant and not try to portray them as a comedy duo. Hopefully from this we will get some interesting stuff with Asmodeus pretending to be Cas for Dean like a repeat of 11x11 so fingers crossed for that.

I also genuinely hope we get some Cas in the coming episodes and not a massive gap until we see him again. It makes no sense in my opinion to have this story move forward without Cas and Lucifer since the entire mytharc plot right now appears to revolve around them. I guess we will just have to wait and see. Bring on episode 13x08.

[orionsangel86]

Round two of the “Hold My Beer” Great Meta Scavenger Hunt

For this, our honorary Misha Collins figure and Scavenger Hunt queen @elizabethrobertajones has asked us to rank all 12 season openers OR all 11 (12 if you are feeling super ambitious) season finales by a theme, character, concept etc of your choice.

I figured I might as well make this super difficult for myself and go with three D’s for my theme. Being Doom, Death and Destiel. I’m also picking finales over openers because, well finales usually have more of the three D’s in general. Doom is based on how bad the situation is for the world at the end of the episode, Death is based on the deaths in the episode and the emotional punch of those deaths, and destiel is based on how much destiel (or the ground work for destiel) there actually is in the episode. I’ll give each episode a ranking out of 10 for each ‘D’ and then average it out for my final scale… and try not to be intimidated at adding maths into a meta post. Ha. 

I should apologise for submitting this so late, but Lizzy did stress there was no real deadline and I have always been terrible at deadlines anyway.

Under the cut as this is loooonnngggg. Enjoy. :)

Season 1, episode 22.

DOOM – John is possessed by Azazel, but he gets over it, Azazel gets away, and the Winchester’s get pretty upset about this. Meg gets exorcised though so actually doom wise there is less of a threat by episode end than there has been all season. Azazel is on the loose but the Winchesters still have the colt. Very little doom. 1/10.

DEATH – Ah to remember the days when the Winchesters actually cared about the meat suits the demons possessed… Oh how things change. Meg is exorcised and the actual human Meg dies of her injuries (did the demon just keep using the name of the girl it possessed? That one always confused me) John almost kills Dean but doesn’t and marks the first in a long line of people in this season who overcome possession to save Dean thanks to their undying love for him (and yet the boy still thinks he is worthless). Big car crash at the end leaves us with a cliff hanger wondering if the Winchester’s are dead but its such a normal way to try to kill them that we all know it aint gonna stick. 3/10 for attempting to scare the audience into thinking the Winchesters can be killed by a TRUCK. Pfft.

DESTIEL - I miss Cas. Did I mention I’m a Cas girl and think his presence makes this series infinitely better?! Still, what we do get in this episode is a Dean who admits that he lies and Azazel mocking Dean’s personality as always hiding the truth, the pain… etc… So we start to get some good insight into Dean’s character, we know by this episode that Dean hides A LOT and puts on a performance all the time. We know that the tough guy macho image he tries to portray is in no way near the real him. But I’m scraping the barrel so it still only gets 1/10 for the barest glimpses into Dean’s true self and the hint that he is hiding a lot more.

Season 2, episode 22.

DOOM – One dead yellowed eyed demon, one demon deal for Dean and a whole lot of evil unleashed upon the world. We got some good levels of doom here, even if Azazel is gone. At least John Winchester managed to crawl out of hell and disappear off… somewhere… do we ever find out what happened to John Winchester’s soul? Maybe he decided to hang around on earth haunting some poor unsuspecting bystander. For that reason and all other reasons above, I’m ranking this a 4/10. They were still just ordinary demons that were unleashed after all… and that was a weird sentence to write.

DEATH – Well, that was emotional. We get some pretty stirring speeches from Dean over poor Sam’s corpse, but he comes back. Of course. So it doesn’t really count unless we are counting deaths for emotional impact rather than if they STAY dead. Dean shoots Azazel in a very therapeutic moment for him, and also threw his own life away to save his brother. Also this made me chuckle: “Dad brought me back, Bobby. I'm not even supposed to be here.” Oh Dean. You’ll get used to it. Happens all the time. I’m also adding a point for the death of Ash last episode because damn. I liked Ash. Besides, technically this was a two parter. 6/10 for emotional impact and because they finally killed the bad guy.

DESTIEL – Well, there isn’t much I can really say as one half of this love pairing isn’t even here yet. But, on Dean’s side we are getting more and more hints into his now glaringly obvious bisexuality. I’m using 2x21 here because as said above, this is a two parter. Dean identifies Ash by his watch which tells an interesting story (I’m not gonna get into the Dean x Ash stuff here and instead direct you here for that glorious analysis) and also we got Lily who was a Dean mirror who lost everything thanks to Azazels influence (like Dean at episode end) and lost her life because of her inability to accept the situation she was in (like Dean at the end of this episode). So, for that reason I’m rating this a 2/10.

Season 3, episode 16

DOOM – Not so much in terms of doom this episode, Lilith was already out and doing her thing, We all still think Ruby is a good guy, the world is no more broken than it has been all season. 3/10

DEATH – Oh Dean. As Dickens would say he is as dead as a door-nail, and then go on about why a door-nail was considered a good simile for death. Perhaps the Horseman Death could answer that question, but I digress. Dean is dead, and Sam is very sad, and there is seemingly no hope now that Dean is strung up in hell. Sad times. This was probably my favourite death of the entire series, simply because it was still early enough for us to actually believe it. How on earth was Dean supposed to come back from this? His soul is literally strung up in hell. Therefore, 9/10 for an epic death scene.

DESTIEL – Still no Cas, and very little in terms of bi-dean analysis unfortunately. I’m giving it half a point for the eager anticipation of Dean’s hell rescue though and the wealth of fanfiction that came from that… 0.5/10.

Season 4, episode 22

DOOM – So much doom! (for the time – nowadays Lucifer just leaves us feeling kinda meh) The release of Lucifer! The breaking of the 66 Seals! The angels are up to no good! It’s the apocalypse! AHHHHHH DOOM ALL THE DOOM! END OF THE WORLD DOOM!!! For that reason I am marking it 10/10 doom wise.

DEATH – Bye bye Ruby. You were a manipulative bitch and I loved you. Hated the way you died though. Never like the idea of having a woman held back by a man whilst another man stabs her… it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth regardless of whether she was demonic or not. Also bye bye Lilith. Your death was actually pretty cool. You went out laughing. BUT NO! Not CAS! Cue Castiel’s first death scene and let me tell you it was explosive. Heh. Sorry. Basically 4 seasons in and this was my FAVOURITE season finale so far. Yeah so no Winchester brother died, but Castiel stole her hearts from his very first scene and having to watch him die after getting our hopes up like that was just cruel. It was emotional, especially the way he died for DEAN. Because of DEAN and… well I’ll get on to that. 8/10 on the Death rating.

DESTIEL – HERE WE GO FINALLY. So who started shipping destiel at THIS point? I was a late bloomer (a 6x20 shipper) but I was picking up on things here and on my many many re--watches of this episode I find it impossible not to see the whole scene in the green room as overly romantic. We had major heart eyes from our star crossed lovers, we had epic speeches about choice and freedom and humanity, we had one fallen angel statue and one soon to be fallen very real hunky angel man, we had Dean getting bodily pressed into a wall by said hunky angel man in a very erotic display of power and disobedience. Basically every DeanCas scene in this entire episode had me drooling. It ended with Cas giving everything for the man he lo- liked a lot, I mean pfft… its not like giving up everything you’ve ever believed in and fought for and known your entire long existence for one guy is a big deal or anything… right? Totally platonic right? I’m rating this one as an 9/10 on the destiel scale… I’m not quite sure another season finale can come close… top marks are reserves for an actual canon love confession.

Season 5, episode 22

DOOM – Well. What can I say about Swan Song? The apocalypse was stopped, Lucifer defeated, the horseman put in their place, Death off eating pizza in another galaxy… it all turned out okay doom-wise. The episode packs a big punch, but its an emotional punch rather than a “WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE” punch, so actually, this finale is quite understated when you rank it against the rest. Low doom score. 5/10 doom.

DEATH – Death is rampant in this episode, but he’s getting sloppy because it doesn’t stick. Sam sacrifices himself for the world. It’s emotional. Bobby dies, Castiel dies, Dean nearly dies, Adam dies, Michael and Lucifer get thrown in the cage, lots of death but none of it stays dead! Come episode end all the folks that matter are alive and walking around topside like it’s no big deal. But it still gets points for ending on a mystery and for Dean still believing his brother is dead and being all sad about it and for the audience being all worried because WHAT IS WRONG WITH SAM? But he still isn’t dead. 7/10 for Death.

DESTIEL – I’ll be honest with you all. I think Swan Song is totally overrated. I prefer Lucifer Rising. Like waaaay prefer it. I’m biased of course because of Destiel. In this episode there were a few moments. Dean saying “Aww, Ain’t he a little angel” when Cas is asleep in the back seat is one of them, The car ride at the end. Dean’s pain is evident at everything he has lost but his need for Cas right then, to me at least, is obvious. He just couldn’t bring him to ask Cas to stay, so Cas left. It is a sad ending that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. 5/10 for destiel.

Season 6, episode 22

DOOM – Well, this is what happens when you bottle up your feelings rather than confessing your undying love for someone. Oh Cas. Why couldn’t you just TELL HIM THE TRUTH! The absorbed purgatory souls turn Castiel into a crazy power hungry God and it is very very bad. Well, if you are homophobic, or republican, or a member of the KKK… or basically Donald Trump and therefore all of the above…otherwise honestly, Godstiel really wasn’t all that bad. We could probably do with a Godstiel in our world about now… *Oh gosh shhh now that’s a terrible thought I totally don’t wish that on anyone…ahem.* So I’m giving it a low doom score. Bring Godstiel to our universe 2k17. He will sort shit out. 5/10

DEATH – I am still mourning Balthazar. This one hurts hard because he doesn’t ever come back. L Also Raphael but really I didn’t care. He needed to remove the stick from up his ass anyway. 8/10 because Balthazar won’t be forgotten.

DESTIEL – In the afterglow of 6x20, we suddenly have our destiel goggles glued to our faces and it only makes this episode so much worse. They are actually in post break up hell here and Castiel has completely lost his way. Dean’s heart break is clear to see, and his line “I know there's a lot of bad water under the bridge, but we were family once. I'd have died for you. I almost did a few times. So if that means anything to you... Please. I've lost Lisa, I've lost Ben, and now I've lost Sam. Don't make me lose you too.” Makes me shed a tear. For all the break up trauma 7/10.

Season 7, episode 23

DOOM – Season 7, the world went to hell, Leviathans wanted to eat us (well mostly America but I assume some of them travelled overseas to annoy the Europeans…) But in the end Cas stepped up and helped save the day. Dick was vanquished and although leviathans still roamed the earth they are apparently useless without their leader. So doom levels are fairly standard. Kevin was abducted by Crowley and his minions though and Dean and Cas zapped to purgatory where they will have to face all kinds of DOOM. So on a worldwide scale not a lot of doom, on a personal level for our characters? Lots of doom. 7/10 to average it out.

DEATH – We say goodbye to the Leviathan King and with him goes all the dick jokes of season 7. It’s probably a good thing to be honest. That many dick jokes should not be allowed in one season. We also say goodbye to Bobby’s ghost. It was emotional. I still wish Bobby had never died. L Technically not a death so much as a ‘moving into the light’ moment, it still struck a chord. Other than that we also have a sort of death for Dean and Cas getting sent to purgatory though since they are still together we shouldn’t really be counting it. Death rating is 6/10 and that’s all mainly for Bobby.

DESTIEL – Ah 7x23 was good on the destiel front. ‘Tis the episode where Castiel turned up naked, covered in bees… kinky. It’s the episode where Cas was Dean’s “Boyfriend first” and of course, the episode of “I’d rather have you, cursed or not.” We got longing looks and confessions of forgiveness and basically it was great. 8/10

Season 8, episode 23

DOOM – The Angels are falling! Hell is still open for business! Metatron is a massive dick and I am in tears by the end of the episode every. Single. Time. I’m not even getting into it more than that. This is my favourite season finale. I love every second of it. Doom wise it’s pretty epic 8/10 doom score

DEATH – OH NO SAM DON’T YOU SPEAK LIKE THAT! L Poor Sammy. Seriously though this was HEARTBREAKING and even though Sam doesn’t die he is in a pretty awful state by episode end and it was so fucking emotional I can’t even deal with it. Hence a death score of 6/10 because SAaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm.

DESTIEL – “This is it? E.T. goes home?” The cupids bow, the two gruff men falling in love right in front of a confused and amazed Dean, the cupids bow on the TV shooting at both Dean and Cas? The arrows in the back of the Impala. The climax of the angel fall spell and the one of these is not the same as the others ingredients theory. Us meta writers screaming at our TV screens because it ALL adds up to destiel. It ALL points to Cas being in love with Dean. I love this episode. 8/10 for all the symbolism and Dean’s utterly romantic and longing looks at Cas in the bar.

Season 9, episode 23

DOOM – Does Dean being a demon count as death or doom here? Both? Both is good. Dean Winchester unleashed as a freshly born knight of hell. That doesn’t sound good for the fate of the world in all honesty. However, heaven is basically sorted and Metatron has been put behind bars so this episode doesn’t leave us in such an apocalyptic state as previous season finales have. Therefore it gets a doom score of 5/10.

DEATH – Oh Dean. Why did you follow Crowley. Why did you take that mark? Why did you think you could face Metatron when he was all powered up on tablet? Simply put “I’m proud of us” and Cas’ face when Metatron shows him the angel blade covered in Dean’s blood. Those two moments alone give this a high score in the emotional stakes that mean a Winchester has once again dramatically died in a season finale. It loses two marks for the black eyes since once again right out of the Princess Bride Dean was only mostly dead. 8/10

DESTIEL – I have one thing and one thing only to say right here “He’s in love… with humanity”. Cue a million fangirls all over the world screaming at their TV/Computer screens at that very dramatic pause. Thanks Metatron. I didn’t know Dean had a new nickname. 7/10.

Season 10, episode 23

DOOM – Thanks to Winchester toxic co-dependency we have a primordial chaos goddess on the loose, intent on nothing but absolute universal destruction according to Death. So yeah, pretty much the ultimate DOOM. Since this episode was just a whole barrel of WTF I’m marking it down 2 points. Because I’m bitter. So sue me. Otherwise 8/10.

DEATH – Again with the whatthefuckery. YOU CAN’T KILL DEATH DEAN THAT IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. This was NOT a Death I was willing to accept and I still am not willing to accept it a season and a half later. Death is fucking with you Winchesters so he can jump out at you both and give you a fucking heart attack later on. You would probably both deserve it. 5/10. Not happy.

DESTIEL – So after the horrifying end to 10x22 with the brutal reverse crypt scene, Dean is haunted with guilt over what he did to Cas, but it is no homo’d to the max thanks to Rudy or whatever the fuck his name was I didn’t even bother to look it up or re-watch (did I mention I really didn’t like this episode – except for Death) I suppose I’ll give it a point for Dean’s dream in the deleted scene and a point for the flash of Dean in the mirror (fuck you Rudy I’ll pretend you weren’t there) and a point for Cas’ “Everyone loves something” about Rowena because yes Cas we know you are in love with Dean that was practically established canon in 9x23. It gets a 3/10. I hated this episode.

Season 11, episode 23

DOOM – In a Supernatural first, we get a relatively happy, healthy ending to the big bad story. Dean gives Amara and Chuck some sibling counselling and they go off to spend some quality time together. In a big twist, Amara thanks Dean by giving him “what he needs” which turns out to be Mary Winchester. Human. Alive. Still in the white nightgown she burned in. At the same time, Sam gets taken out by a posh British lady from the men of letters. There is, amazingly, no real doom for the world and only a slight threat for Sam. 3/10 because I care about our beautiful moose baby and his doom matters to me.

DEATH – None. Zilch. Not a single character dies in this finale and this is a shocker. It’s also really satisfying. One formally dead person actually comes BACK. This is probably the most hopeful positive season finale we have ever had on the show. Impressive really. Sam’s unknown threat at the end gives it 1 point. Even though we all know that Sam isn’t dead. He may be in somewhat doom, but he definitely isn’t dead. 1/10

DESTIEL – My heart breaks for Cas all throughout this season and it wasn’t quite the satisfying resolution we were hoping for. Still, the beer run car scene was therapeutic in a way. Though Dean calling Cas a brother got mixed reviews. Some calling it “the end of destiel” which I think is incredibly over dramatic. I prefer to linger on Cas’ utter disappointment at being called a brother. Since, as I have previously mentioned, Season 9 pretty much canonically established Cas’ romantic love for Dean. However, the hug at the graveyard and the “I could go with you” bump up the points for this episode. Cas’ whole demeanour throughout screams of heartbreak and no one can possibly deny his devotion and love right now. I just wanna see more return from Dean on this. 6/10 for the mixed reviews.

Season 12, episode 23

Hasn’t aired yet, so I am totally making this up based on season themes and the mid season finale. Following Season 11’s breaking the spell of DEATH OR DOOM in the season finales, I reckon Season 12 will follow this trend and will not unleash a new bad evil or apocalyptic event OR kill anyone off in a tragic Death scene. Instead, Season 12 looks to be heading down the route of addressing the past, resolving the issues and dealing with smaller conflicts in general. Where Death is concerned, other than ‘bad guys’ I do not think we will get a major death in this finale. So far I do not see that foreshadowing for either brother… or for Castiel or Crowley at this point. Times change but I’m keeping optimistic. So to continue our theme:

DOOM – I doubt it. I don’t think the show will go ‘big’ again before they decide to end and therefore the themes and disaster storylines will be kept more subtle. Perhaps we could get some larger threat from the Grand Coven, or from the British Men of Letters… But lets just say I doubt that we will be unleashing Cthulhu any time soon! 5/10 for potential threats from human/witch groups but no apocalyptic disasters that I can see.

DEATH – Again I doubt it, Dabb broke the constant pattern spn had in place of an alternation between death and doom over season finales with season 11. I am expecting something completely different for the season 12 ending that will be unexpected in a different way (the way Mary was unexpected in season 11). The four main characters won’t get killed off and the supporting cast is unlikely to die in a finale. Perhaps a couple of BMOL will perish… I’m predicting a 4/10 on the Death scale.

DESTIEL – I’m gonna be super hopeful here. We have two episodes (possibly three) in the second half devoted to exploring Castiel as a character. Dabb has always been a Cas fan and we KNOW as I have mentioned before, that one of Cas’ defining characteristics at this point is his utter devotion and love for Dean. I am also hopeful that Dean’s pining story arc that started with the confessional scene in 10x16 will continue and reach a sort of climax in season 12. Therefore, I am gonna give this a rating of 8/10. I expect progress. I don’t expect a straight up confessional, I don’t expect a kiss. I would LIKE textual confirmation that Dean is bisexual at some point this season. I would also like textual confirmation of Castiel’s love for Dean. Something like another angel or Crowley or Sam maybe just straight up saying “You’re in love with him aren’t you?” and Cas just sighing and nodding. Yeah. That’s all I want. I don’t think its asking for much.

Okay so the final averaged scores for DOOM, DEATH and DESTIEL are:

1x22 – 2/10

2x22 – 4/10

3x16 – 4/10

4x22 – 9/10

5x22 – 6/10

6x22 – 7/10

7x22 – 7/10

8x23 – 7/10

9x23 – 7/10

10x23 – 5/10

11x23 – 3/10

12x23 – 5/10

Which according to my own odd analysis, makes season 4 the best all around season finale of the show.

*Goes and lies down for days because that took far too much brain power*

*Eagerly anticipates next challenge*