#also pls write funny tags

[postpendulum]

Some deformed jumbled mess of whatever this idea is has been rattling around in my adhd riddled brain for weeks now and I'm finally forcing myself to write it down, it is barely fleshed out in the slightest (hence, "deformed") and only the main idea is in my brain right now so I'm basically making it up as I write this so, apologies.

The Fenton parents (for whatever reason) decide that Gotham is the perfect place to spend their summer vacation, and while their there through some

💫Wacky Shananagans💫

Danny ends up meeting (omg your never gonna guess this, it's so out of this world for me, who only has one dpxdc post so far and it's this ship as well, it's so wacky and wild, blow your brains out pew pew pew)

DAMIAN!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥💥‼‼‼‼💥💥💥💥💀💀💀💀💀:O

What the what!?!?!??!?,! WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT????? I AINT MEVER DUN DIS BEFORE!!!!!!!!

Anyway basically they have a summer romance because idk mwa mwa kissy noises gay gay homosexual gay and whathajaga

And then idk I had this that that like, I saw someone say once somethen like "damn tho the most unrealistic thing about this show is that nobody at that damn school thought Danny was hot💀" and I thought like, "damn bitch that true tho." So like idk, I thought like, I'm pretty sure its psychological fact or whatever (this gonna be damn embarrassing if that isnt true tho cuss ona my possible options ideas plans whatever for college is psychology💀) that confidants makes people more attractive, so like, ig like Danny builds confidence over the summer with you know, getting a boyfriend, Damian not taking any of that whatever bullshit idk ahjaobznaja or maybe just ghost aura shit whatever idfk whatever you want.

Basically when he goes home at back to school after summer break is over people suddenly realize "oh shit wait whys he kinda hot tho," and the fuckers like randos, maybe a-listers, whoever's just a buncha people like flirting tryna shoot their shot whatever, but then Danny's just like, thinking about how much he loves his boyfriend and how much he can't wait to see him in person again and what not. I also like to think Danny probably didn't even tell anyone at school he got a boyfriend, like maybe he even forgot to tell Sam and Tucker because he was to busy being fucking lovestruck, I mean I doubt that would actually happening and it's more likely that he'd constantly be gushing to them about Damian rather then not and I actually like that idea a lot better now that I thing about it that other one was more of a funny little side thought idk. But yeah nobody knows besides like Sam Tucker and Jazz, so yeah.

On o think that's it for me I'm done good night y'all *cue mic drop*

[rink3]

More Sebastian and Acht because I really like to think how their dynamic would look like + transparent icons

[batsplat]

hiii your weekly sete ask:

wow his 2005 season was really Cursed affggghjk. like what do you mean he’s 7th with 7 retirements (more than that years top 4 combined) but also is the only guy aside from valentino in top 7 to not finish lower than 5th place…..

valentino was the curse really worth it being runner up to capirossi and melandri TWICE and in a row (joking)

haha... yeah... 'retirement' in motegi... definitely wasn't so eager to seal the title at honda's home race that he made an ill-advised overtake attempt on melandri and cleared them both out... two completely unrelated dnf's... haha...

anyway!! yeah!! valentino would make that trade with you all things considered - always got on well with capirossi, with melandri admittedly you have the whole drama of melandri thinking valentino switched up towards him... but tbf you do have to say valentino was impressively dogged at keeping melandri's first win at bay for as long as possible. the six races valentino doesn't win that year are estoril (very wet, kinda just settled for second), laguna (unfamiliar with the track and would never be one he really liked, finished behind the two americans who knew the track well), motegi (crazy how we'll just never know how that dnf happened... oh well let's move on), sepang (a bridgestone-dominated weekend, sealed the title there though), turkey (hampered by a poor start) and valencia (my god is he mid there, also he tried to smash himself up before the race which I swear he does like. repeatedly at that specific circuit. guess he knows he has the off season to recover)

the way the curse shakes out is that for the rest of sete and valentino's careers, whenever they both finish a race valentino is ahead. not a single exception! not one! but the thing is, right, sete's actual finishing position of seventh in the championship in 2005 is extra cruel because it... just is not representative of how competitive he was that season? this is where it becomes useful I have my 'curse tally' notes... 2004 we've already covered, 2006 is more depressing than fun (how is your luck so bad your ambulance crashes into a bus fifty metres before the hospital entrance), but 2005? oh yeah that sete season is fucked. do you know who won the best qualifier award that year?

narrator: he did not win his home race on sunday

you can also read the qualifying prowess from the average grid positions, and it's not even particularly close. sete averages 2.82 for the season, ahead of valentino at 4.12 and hayden at 4.29. he bags five pole positions, exactly as many as valentino. his average finishing position when he actually makes the chequered flag is 3.6, the third best that year behind vale's 1.44 and melandri's 3.5. unsurprisingly, 2005 is the only season this century where the strongest qualifier does not win a single race. that just isn't a thing that happens!! it shouldn't happen!! this is not a man who was suddenly slow. he also hadn't been particularly crash-prone in his previous honda seasons... one dnf in 2003, two in 2004... and seven in 2005. a nightmare

which raises the question... okay, not winning races is one thing, but what the fuck happened to sete? if you're not just slow all of a sudden, how are you suddenly dipping from p2 to p7 in the championship standings? so. *cracks knuckles* *gets out notes* let's go one by one and tally up exactly how sete's season went wrong (parentheses used to indicate grid positions, e.g. 'g2', and finishing positions, e.g. 'p2')

jerez (g2/p2): after a feisty start, sete leads the entire race up until three laps to the end - when valentino executes his overtake and looks all set for the win. but valentino makes a mistake on the final lap that lets sete back past, and he's frantic in his attempts to correct the error... it looks like sete might have this one won, until valentino steals it from him at the last corner, barging him aside with one foot off its peg. (more on the final lap here.) valentino's victory, immediately controversial, is followed by various post-race theatrics as the spanish crowd voice their displeasure and valentino rubs it in their faces. on the way to the podium, valentino breaks the fourth wall to mock sete for clutching at his shoulder - which he is then forced to walk back in estoril as it turns out sete had actually been injured (clips here). more on this, from broadbent's 'ring of fire':

(details of the gresini/zerbi dispute included below the cut)

estoril (g2/dnf): an increasingly wet race - conditions in which sete has always been excellent in (first 500cc race was won in the wet too). sete's shoulder is still injured from the jerez collision and he'd crashed that weekend already, but he leads comfortably at the start... it's always tricky to be in the front in those conditions and he ends up crashing out of the lead in lap 16 out of 24. would valentino have been so comfortable settling for the podium if sete had still been in the race?

shanghai (g1/p4): another wet race, this time at a new circuit. perhaps sete's confidence was dented by estoril, or perhaps he just wasn't quick enough in the conditions. he doesn't get the ideal start from pole, though he briefly runs ahead of valentino - before vale overtakes him and disappears into the distance. for most of the race, sete runs second, until eventually wildcard jacque overtakes him. with a few laps to go, sete's suddenly losing speed... it looks like he's dealing with some kind of mechanical issue and he's shaking his head down the straight. on the very last lap, his teammate melandri overtakes him for the final podium position. after the race, sete said he had already felt on the warm-up lap that something was wrong with his tyre, and that it was all he could do to minimise the damage and coax the vibrating tyre to the end

le mans (g4/p2): sete had won the two previous races at this track, beating valentino on the final lap in 2003 and extending his championship lead in 2004. this year, both sete and valentino get quite a poor start, and exit the first few corners seventh and sixth respectively. valentino starts his charge to the front before sete does - and sete's progress stalls for a bit when he makes an absolute hash of one of the chicanes. eventually, valentino is on the rear tyre of his teammate edwards, but takes his sweet time overtaking him.... sete hunts them both down, firing in lap records as he muscles his way to third, and valentino is quickly informed of just who is catching him. valentino overtakes edwards, but edwards quickly gets him back - which opens the door for sete, who slips past for second. the three once again converge and valentino eventually manages to get sete back. edwards runs it a little wide and valentino squeezes past, with sete able to take advantage of the open door to get through too. they quickly gap edwards and as sete stalks valentino, the commentators hype up the prospect of revenge, of 'payback time'... valentino takes a new circuit record on the final lap to hold sete off. he extends his hand for sete long enough that sete eventually acquiesces - in doing so affording valentino a courtesy his rival had not extended to him at sepang the year before

mugello (g2/dnf): this time last year, the first public cracks of the valentino/sete relationship were just starting to show. but a fight for victory between the two of them was not to be this time round. sete keeps p2 off the line; after some opening lap scrapping that includes a valentino overtake, sete is still in p2. then his teammate melandri rudely forces him wide while overtaking, so that sete briefly drops back to fourth - before muscling his way past capirossi and into third. he tussles a bit with biaggi... but ends up crashing on lap five. it already feels like curtains on any championship aspirations

catalunya (g1/p2): before the weekend, valentino says he believes melandri and biaggi, not sete, will be his main championship rivals. sete starts on pole, with valentino likewise on the front row. valentino gets a somewhat poor start... by the end of the first lap he's back in the mix at the front. the first few laps are frantic, with melandri leading most of them and making his teammate's life, uh, unpleasant - but eventually both valentino and sete make their way back and break away from the field. soon after, sete gets past valentino and leads the race. for a while, it looks like he's breaking away from valentino just a little... eventually, it becomes obvious valentino has just been biding his time. with three laps to go, vale eases past down the main straight into the braking zone of turn one, and immediately proceeds to destroy sete's circuit record on dying tyres. he wins the race fairly comfortably from there

assen (g2/p5): juan martinez, sete's crew chief, is taken ill on thursday with a migraine. he recovers to come back to the box on saturday, but unsurprisingly the team is on the back foot as a result. (remember, martinez used to work for valentino, and he is someone valentino explicitly blamed for what happened at qatar 2004.) sete starts reasonably well from the front row, second early on behind his teammate melandri before eventually falling behind hayden. meanwhile, valentino has gotten a typically atrocious start and gave himself a bit of work to do. sete eventually makes his way back past hayden - but unfortunately lets valentino through too. at the end of the seventh lap, valentino gets past sete at his beloved final chicane. after that, valentino goes on to win the race while sete languishes in fifth

laguna seca (g13/p5): sete executes a strong comeback ride, besides losing a duel to biaggi which I suppose is a new low. but the main thing I have to bring in at this juncture is one of my favourite sete's moments. this is from broadbent's 'ring of fire' again, in the context of the re-introduction of laguna to the calendar and the discussions around that. just remember that valentino has been tormenting sete for like, over half a year, and sete has not lashed out at valentino once publicly. but here... he finally snaps - and takes it out on the real enemy: marco melandri

quick friendly reminder that melandri was sete's teammate that year

donington (g2/dnf): the race is held in truly appalling conditions. sete - who, remember, was a known wet weather specialist - takes the lead early on. he crashes on the third lap, one of ten riders not to finish the race. after wobbling about in the front-running pack for most of the race, valentino eventually takes the lead before pulling comfortably clear. he mimes playing the violin while crossing the line; this was interpreted by some as mockery of his less fortunate rivals, which valentino refuted

before the race, valentino took another opportunity to twist in the knife:

"when I see gibernau I always want to arrive in front of him" uh huh

sachsenring (g2/p2): valentino had quite a few problems with his bike that weekend, with a tricky build-up to the race. initially, hayden gets the holeshot, as valentino starts piling up the pressure and sete gets stuck in traffic. but the race is red flagged - and while hayden again gets the holeshot at the restart, valentino quickly disposes of him and sete soon does likewise. sete swiftly overtakes valentino ("'take that', said sete gibernau, 'I mean business'" says one of the commentators) and leads from there, with valentino in hot pursuit. for a few laps, valentino ends up behind hayden - and once he gets past him again, he's seven tenths down on sete with six laps to go. valentino closes in and on the very last lap, sete goes wide into the first corner, letting valentino through

always thinking of the suggestion valentino was intending to overtake sete at exactly the same place he had been overtaken in 2003 (from here):

brno (g1/dnf): despite the summer break in between (where sete reportedly did a lot of training), this might as well have been a direct continuation of the previous race. sete leads out front as valentino determinedly muscles his way into second place so as to not let sete escape. on the very first lap, valentino overtakes sete - in a section of the track where sete was planning to overtake capirossi if capirossi got the holeshot (more on how forthcoming sete was being to the commentariat here and here, icl when I replied to those asks I didn't remember quite how bad it was). on the third lap, the two exchange a few overtakes, and then it's sete in front. valentino makes a mistake to give sete a bit of breathing room and almost let the pack swallow him up, but he escapes again to get on sete's tail. around halfway through, valentino takes the lead - and then, with just over four laps ago, valentino deliberately slows down and practically invites sete to go past, before slotting back in behind him. valentino takes the lead at the final chicane of the penultimate lap, setting the stage for a final lap showdown, except sete is beginning to lose touch... and then he slows down. sete has run out of fuel

japan (g7/dnf): all eyes on valentino - who starts from eleventh for his first matchpoint race - as he starts making his way through the pack. on the first lap, valentino's already made his way past sete for sixth. tragically, all footage of the race after this point was erased so we will simply never know what valentino got up to after this point in time, but sete reportedly crashed on lap eleven. "gibernau's wretched season continues, when will it end for sete gibernau... it's almost a year now since valentino rossi put that witch's curse on him at qatar and said he would never win another race, you've got to wonder..."

sepang (g2/dnf): as the riders storm down to turn one, sete and hayden make contact and barely keep their bikes upright - sete is knocked down to sixth. valentino ends up right behind him on the first lap once again, but gets stuck behind him for a little longer as sete works his way past hayden... before sete and nakano go down when the former attempts to overtake the latter on lap two. "sete gibernau's appalling season continues...." - sete begins to walk off before sinking to his knees in despair

qatar (g2/p5): back to the place where it all started. sete deploys some feisty riding to keep that second place off the line against both valentino and hayden. he takes the lead from capirossi on the third lap and valentino takes advantage to immediately force his way into second - ready to exert pressure on his enemy. but sete builds up a healthy advantage as his teammate melandri increasingly puts pressure on valentino. melandri and valentino exchange overtakes as sete's advantage ebbs and flows, eight tenths at one point while his two rivals tussle. could this really be the "resurgence of sete gibernau"? with six laps to go, valentino shows his front wheel to sete, but it gives melandri the opportunity to get past. as valentino attempts to return the favour, melandri cuts off his nose and causes valentino to almost run into the back of him - payback for motegi, which makes valentino run wide and almost fall back into the clutches of hayden. it looks like it will be a fight between the two gresini riders for the win as valentino is 1.2s back, but he quickly claws his way back into contention and is helped by the gresini duo scrapping. and when melandri has another go at sete, sete runs on into the gravel... "the man who has cracked once again is sete gibernau" "and I'm sure both marco melandri and rossi are smiling under their visors" from the commentary team - valentino snatches the win once again, with sete finishing a disconsolate fifth

phillip island (g3/p5): so much for another front row start, with sete getting battered around to fifth through the first few corners and quickly being pushed down to sixth by his teammate. from there, it's an unspectacular ride to fifth, as valentino claims another victory

turkey (g1/p4): another start from pole, but melandri gets the jump on him from the start. sete puts pressure on melandri and eventually gets back past to take the lead...... and then goes wide and runs it into the gravel. he recovers from sixth to a painful fourth. "you can just imagine valentino rossi grinning, can't you, behind his visor, when he saw that happen"

valencia (g1/dnf): once again, sete starts from pole.... surely, surely he has to win one of these? valentino starts from fifteenth on the grid, which you'd have to say is as good a chance as you're going to get to catch a break from the man. sete is shuffled down to third on the opening lap but is right on the tail of melandri and hayden, setting the field's fastest lap on lap two. on lap four, sete slows down... "and the spaniard's wretched season could end in the only possible way, another disappointment at his home round and yet more misery for movistar" - an engine failure. his teammate escapes out front while sete works through his grief on the side of the track

so, having assessed the evidence in an appropriately scientific manner... well, yes. sete was kinda fucked. you have plenty of bad luck, you have races where he's simply not fast enough, you have races where valentino forces the issue and beats him in a straight fight, and then you have quite a few races where sete makes a clear 'unforced' error. it's not even necessarily the crashes that are most painful - with sachsenring, qatar and turkey standing out as real low points, times when he feasibly could have had valentino (as well as his teammate, who he also dislikes) beat. his wet weather dnf's will also have been a bitter pill to swallow, as well as valentino's lovely habit of snatching circuit records as he pulls clear from sete right at the end of races. and all the while, valentino is happy to taunt him with his failures, reminding sete again and again of how he is no longer the challenger he once was. all the while, the narrative of the curse gathered momentum, ever more likely to make its way back to sete. with every failure, the pressure grew. there's got to be at least ten races where sete on pace could have been in victory contention, five races where he bags pole, fourteen front row starts... not a single actual win. and that's how you put together a curse, kids

here's the gresini/zerbi dispute:

Movistar Honda team manager Fausto Gresini sent an open letter to the media on Thursday night in response to a private letter sent by FIM President Francesco Zerbi to MotoGP riders Valentino Rossi and Sete Gibernau following last weekend's clash during the Jerez race. Mr Zerbi´s letter had invited the riders to reflect upon the incident, and to remain as positive examples for all MotoGP fans - asking them to fight fairly and without will of revenge. The FIM President also wrote that he didn't see any infringement to the rules, but stressed that this kind of situation shouldn't be repeated. The comments made by Gresini were: "I fully agree with President Zerbi about the fact that sportsmanship is the most important thing. There's no room for bitter feelings between two great riders, but in the meantime, I'm still perplex." "In this letter, Sete and Valentino are treated equally as if Sete had some responsibility in the facts, and I can't agree with that. I believe there is a contradiction when the FIM president writes 'there isn't anything to reproach you for from a legal point of view', and then warns that what happened in Jerez must not occur again." "It means that we're still far from a situation where all have equal rights, in a sport as dangerous as ours," concluded the Italian manager. [here is the presidents response]: Dear Mr Gresini, I should not respond personally to your open letter given to the press, but through the intermediary of my lawyers; however, considering that I subscribe to the rules of courtesy and that I believe private life is a right that no-one can deny, I am not going to enter into a controversy - an easy one given the ridiculous arguments in your letter. The only thing that I want to stress and which, as a man, mortifies me is that I am mistaken in my judgement of men. And that I say on an individual level far more than on an institutional level. With much bitterness, Francesco Zerbi FIM President NB: I am sending this letter to the press because your employee, by violating all principles of education, more so than of law, did not hesitate to betray the confidence that had been granted to him.

like "with much bitterness" why is everyone in this sport so dramatic. what was everyone on this year

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[gnomewithalaptop]

What is cue the sun? 👀

I need you to know I am kissing you on the mouth rn (platonically) -- I've been rotating this plot in the microwave since like. mid-august.

It's transcendence au (obvi) but here's the basic hook:

The year is 7098. The last Mizar (Fang Wu -- and shoutout to aba_daba_do for making a kickass OC) has been dead for four years now, and Alcor has been MIA for about the same amount of time. In their absence, the North American continent has broken out into a full-on, cross-continental war, with the main players being the Greater Austinian Monopoly (formerly known as Texas) and the Alaskadian Collective (Alaska, plus some parts of Canada and north-eastern Russia).

In a last-ditch effort to find some long-forgotten piece of magical information that could win the war, Alaskadian scientist Fatima Tursynbekova (an r!Ford) is sent to the abandoned site of what used to be Gravity Falls, accompanied by her troubled teenage daughter Olya (an r!Gideon). They're expecting to find little more than scant remnants of a town that was razed to the ground over thirty years before -- not much better than an archaeological expedition if anything.

However, what they find instead is a thriving small town -- the inhabitants of which are all completely and utterly convinced that it's the year 2016 (feat. the OG Mystery Twins and an extremely sus Stan Pines).

Anyways blah blah blah romance, secrecy, interpersonal drama but COME LOOK AT THE MAP I MADE I spent entirely too much time on it and I've been dying to share:

(Plus better quality image link for if tumblr steals all my pixels)

[boxwinebaddie]

How/when does Jersey end up saying I love you?

oooooh! okay, so i was going to write it out ( i am jennifer slowpez so in nina fashion, i am spoiling it, what's new? ) but there is a part after this...if we remember this ask i am obsessed with where raven is diabolically patching jersey up via the tiny child sized hellokitty carebear bandids kyle bought for the kids he works w in the elementary school via that one anons delicious input...genius really.

*raven vc* pero like, so you know, they pull away it's awkward fml. dawg, they are about to *dreamy fit asf rm tolkien posh british vc* have a cheeky little snog like that entire whumpshot...anyways!

( ALRIGHT THIS IS LONG, VERY UNHINGED AND ROUGH SORRY I HOPE YOU SMILE LAUGH AND CRY PENDEJOS <3 )

kyle notices that the vinyl record player is playing their sadie hawkins first dance song ( idk what song it is but its an abba song because thats gay rights baby! its probably my love, my life or andante andante...branch in my eyes ) and theres a bowl of skittles, but only the red ones are in it...because stan still eats around the red ones bc only kyle can have the red ones....brb crying!

yadda yadda yadda. and i think on the tv, the screen is paused over a brand new episode of say yes to the dress ( if we recall, before i deleted chapter six...which was a disaster but also a masterpiece rip, ravenstan was being so boyfail cute in it in his armani suit and was rizzing the hell out of kyle with his crunchy boy knowledge of plants...when stan came over for their #hate fashionably late, kyle was stress-watching say yes to the dress...which is his favorite show because he claims to be allergic to romance, but secretly thinks its really beautiful that people can fall and love and get married...AAA )

but anyways, when they start dating say yes to the dress ( shoutout to when ravenstan forgot what it was called bc adhd and called it Are You Down With The Gown ) became their show and kyle very quietly is like "were you going to watch it?" and stan getting nervous, trying to deflect because they always watch it together is like uhuhuhHhHh and kyle, sad laugh shaking his head is like "baby" *yersey swearing* "dude...baby dude...my guy...just guy, fuck, you know you can watch it without me. we're not...Together. *hurts worse than his ribs* you don't have to wait for me." and stan is like "i-i know. i was going to...i-i Wanted to! i just--i couldn't. i couldn't watch all the people in...."

Love :(

he doesn't say it. but jersey kyle can FEEL it.

he winces. hard.

he wants to fucking die...he wants to say something but he's so stupid and he ruined ravenstan's life, words fail him but STAN!!! grabs his hand and is like "-because! because i knew it would make me miss you. and fuck it. FUCK EVERYTHING KYLE I FUCKING MISS YOU!!!! i miss you and i LOVE you and i don't--i don't care if you can't say it back! i don't have to wait for you, but i WILL! i want to! i'll--i'll wait forever! YOURE MY FOREVER. people tell me they love me everyday, but with you--i can feel it. I. Just. Know. and that's enough! you're enough. YOURE ENOUGH, KYLE BROFLOVSKI. just the way you are. and i'm sorry...i'm sorry i pushed you and tried to change you. i was just, i was insecure about it i guess--and--and--"

cue kyle smiling like an idiot ( the rare kyle smile ) like "...stan?"

ft. stan still yapping smh like "oh my god, i miss you SO much! curb only got into the trash because you weren't here to remind me. and i had pasta from this five star restaurant the other day and oh my god, ky. it was TRASH! yours is so much better! and-and i think i broke the washing machine earlier, oh my god, it sounded like an explosion, i can't find anything, i--"

kyle...literally still trying to get stans attention smh going

"stan? hey? stan???? Stan???"

stans still yapping btw ( oh my god when he is passionate the man never shuts the hell up hes like rambling himself into a corner ) like "and theres this new exhibit in the aquarium and theres this huge red fish in it and i wanted to send it to you and be like 'this you' but were fighting and I HATE FIGHTING WITH YOU. can we stop fighting? :< i miss you. will you please come home? curb misses you, i miss you, i--"

*jersey vc* STANLEY MARSH!

*stan doing the wide flustered doe eye thing with the lip ring lip bite combo that makes kyle like actually criminally insane with love feels*

speaking of...

he leeeeeeeeeeeeeeans in...

gently grasps ravenstan's face

KISSES THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHIT OUT OF HIM.

and says

and i quote...

"Te amo." <3

AAAAAAAAAA AND THE CROWD GOES WIIIIIIILD :')

-uncle nina, gratuitous undivorcer of ravesey style

[spidergangforever]

OK I've got one for Huntsman.

You're able to track through scent and a keen eye for tracks in various terrains. Have you ever tracked big game, like say...a moose? And if you did, have you kept anything as souvenir like the horns?

~ Princess Anon (👸)

I always say "Morning" because if it was a good morning I would be Hunting

[glitter-andgold]

General Valentina Headcannons (Saw X)

Currently planning the "Valentina lives and becomes an apprentice" AU I've been wanting to write so consider this a precursor to that! (I wasn't kidding when I said I had many headcannons about her so enjoy the ramblings of a mad man <3)

Her full name is Valentina Rosa Hernández

She was 32 years old during the events of Saw X.

This makes her younger than Cecilia & Mateo and older than Diego and Gabriella

Valentina’s birthday is on the 27th of July (thus making her star sign Leo)

Let’s those close to her call her Val for short.

Is still trying to put an exact label on her sexuality but knows for a fact she isn’t straight

Valentina struggles to fully trust and open up to people as she’s been hurt by many throughout her life; she often uses her feisty, sarcastic personality as a shield. Though if you manage to break through this prickly facade, you will find a loyal woman with a lot of love to give.

Valentina loves doing her makeup and is quite the talented makeup artist. It was almost like her pre-work relaxation ritual for the night, doing her makeup while blasting some of her favourite music.

Loves heavy metal and rock music! It was quite rare but when she was able to go to concerts, she’d be in the mosh pit.

As well as having her ears pierced, she’s also got her belly button pierced.

Has a younger half-sister named Carmen who is five years younger than her. Val loves her above all else and is fiercely protective of. Aside from this has no relationship with any of her immediate family.

Growing up it was just Valentina and her father; her mother wasn’t really in the picture. She was really close with her father. However, he passed away when she was 12.

She was then sent to live with her mother, step father and Carmen. Her mother and step-father were cold and neglectful towards her, it was always clear that they didn’t want her there.

 As a result of this she grew into a trouble making teenager.

At first, she was distant from her little sister, envious of the love her mother and step father seemed to give her. However, as the pair grew older Valentina came to realise that the amount of pressure they put on her, even from a young age, was harmful within itself. They didn’t love her, they loved the idea of her and as soon as Carmen strayed from what they wanted she was punished. From that moment onwards Valentina vowed to love and protect her sister.

In fact, she started trying to change her trouble making ways so she could be a better older sister.

Valentina left home the age of 20 after a huge argument with her mother and step-father. The only person she stayed in contact with was Carmen (and she had to fight to stay in contact with her, their mother tried to prevent it but was unsuccessful).

Had little to her name when she left home and ended up couch surfing at friend’s places for a while.

Eventually saves up enough to rent a little place of her own, it was small and little bit rundown but it was hers. Carmen ended up moving in with Valentina after also having a falling out with their parents. Times could be tough but they were happy to have each other.

Valentina always wanted to provide a better life for her sister than what she was able to and this is why Cecilia was able to convince her to join the scam. She promised Valentina a life changing sum of money in exchange for pretending to be a nurse for a couple of days. Valentina had her doubts but at the end of the day, such a large sum of money to pretend to be a nurse for a short period of time??? She’d be a fool not too, after all this was for her sister. And she’d do anything for her sister.

[lovewithoutagony]

GUYS STOP. I FINALLY GOT AN IDEA FOR SIMEBARB HALLOWEEN STORY HOLD MY HAND WHILE I WALK YOU THERE

Swan Lake inspired with some unhinged cannibalistic twist + smoking hot vampire love interest mmm

simeon would be the cursed swan (obv) who coincidentally meets a vampire who's looking for prey

just when the vampire thinks he's found a perfect, pretty prey, he's met with a surprise!

I'm making it a freak 4 freak story and how their love does break Simeon's curse but it actually causes more inconvenience to others but their love is twisted like that yk

snippet underneath!

He takes a deep breath in, slowly exhaling while his eyes remain fixed on a graceful figure.

It is quite difficult to discern the details from a vantage point this high, but he is certain in the beauty in how the figure's hair flows, the grace in the person's every move.

The vampire gulps, licks his lips. He finally finds a prey for the night. With his eyes never straying from the elegant silhouette, he moves with the speed of a hawk, and in a blink, he is in the dim alleyway, a few steps away from the figure he admires a second ago.

Silent as a cat, he walks towards the beauty, swiping a singular stem of potted rose from a windowsill.

The mysterious person remains oblivious as the vampire encircles him, only squeaking in surprise when a deep, silvery voice resounds in the night air.

" A fine evening, is it not? May I ask where you are off to, alone, in this beautiful night?" The sentence was spoken with a smile, which falters once the vampire finally sees for himself the face of the human that caught his attention.

Green eyes widened im pleasant surprise.

The face in front of him, is an exquisite concoction of the sharp masculine beauty present in the lines of his jaws and brows, mixed with the delicate, gentle beauty that is in his eyes and lips.

Not to forget the quality in which his long, dark hair shines in the moonlight, ethereal in its glow, and the elegant yet alluring curves of his body which are accentuated by a mesh tied around his waist.

His beautiful blue eyes are widened in shock by the unexpected presence, and his lovely lips parted in tandem, all while the vampire drinks in the enchanting sight with delight.

A hot breath subtly fans the vampire's neck when the beauty exhales.

" Good evening.. Do you need anything, gentle sir?"

The vampire chuckles at the cautious act of the human, silently thinking how useless his defense is when he is wandering alone in the night to begin with.

With a smile as mysterious as the night, he offers the dark red rose to the man, elated in silence as the beauty delicately accepts it.

The man fiddles the stem between his fingers, fixing his eyes on the strangely glowing pair of emerald ones, feeling abashed the longer he stares.

" Has no one warned you not to walk alone under the moon's presence?" He intently watches as the human slightly furrows his brows at the peculiar question,

" And why would anyone warn me so?" He cautiously, trying to be discreet as he possibly can, backs away from the looming figure before his back meets a wall.

The vampire keeps eyeing him, his eyes never straying away from the ocean blue ones, as he approaches the human closer and closer.

" Because, dear beauty.. There are monsters like me lurking in the night to harm pretty things like you," he whispers, and instantly, the beauty finds the creature caging him in his arms against the wall. The vampire takes a whiff of the human's scent, and he gulps.

This human smells so sweet. Divine, even.

" If I'm merciful enough, I would turn you into a vampire and brand you as mine forever... Let's see how my mood is by the end of the night."

The human's eyes widen once more, shaken by the words and the eerie, yet attractive smirk that paints the vampire's lips. Before he knows it, he feels a sharp pain intruding his senses at one side of his neck, and he screams in surprise and pain.

The helpless human is made hyper-aware of all the sensations; his pounding heart, the sharp pain on his neck, how his hot blood is trickling out, the way the vampire laps his neck, the lips kissing the wound from time to time..

He could do nothing as he accepts his fate, powerless to stop the vampire, nor could he hold back his own moans from spilling out.

By the time the creature pulls away, albeit slightly, he takes notice on how the human's head seems to be spinning, how his eyes struggles to focus. The vampire licks his lips in cherish.

" Hmm.. you taste as sweet as you look, beauty,"

Usually, he would drink the blood of his prey until there's nothing left, but there's something about the man caged in his arms that makes him do the opposite of his habits.

" A vampire... Huh?" The beauty huffs, eyes finally focusing on the vampire in front while fresh blood still actively trickles down the graceful curve of his neck.

" I've always wanted to taste one," With a smile all too innocent and alluring, the human lunges forward and take a huge bite out of the vampire's trapezium.

He barely registers the situation until his eyes refocuses on the beautiful face in front of him, now blood soaked as the 'human' chews on a chunk of his own flesh in delight.

The vampire is stunned to silence, only afford to watch the human savour his flesh with both of his eyes closed, humming after he swallows,

" Mmm... A spicy tang to it. I think I quite like it,"

Flashing his sharp fangs and canines to the vampire with a grin.

To be continued..

[here-comes-the-snow]

name all traumas you think you have

[ ---@poptartregreteva ]

What the— WHY?!

[He doesn’t want to do this! He doesn’t want to remember!!!]

[…]

[Doesn’t matter. He’s recalling them all anyways.]

W-Well— there was that time I got dissected by Subspace, then ripped open by Ghostwalker, and got hunted down and dissected by Subspace AGAIN.

I also got mauled by Venomshank, then went all paranoid and tried to murder my siblings and freeze the Inpherno and felt guilty afterwards— then someone cursed me to be warm, which melted me and I had to be brought back to life by the same Ghostwalker who tore me open.

Then I tried to fight another world’s Illumina which lead to me losing half a horn and my ability to fly, and getting shoved into a drowning torture box for like a week! And my world’s Illumina got all mad at me and tore my whole wing off, which really hurt…

I accidentally fell into some lava as well! That was my fault though— I was stupid, and even worse, I acted like a total dick to Banhammer ‘cause I was in too much pain to think…

A-And I guess there was also that whole— Not-Ice thing? Icicle? Snowstorm? Whatever— my doppelgänger who wants to kill me. I haven’t heard from them in a while though.

That’s…. all I can think of right now… the physical stuff, at least.

I hope you’re happy! I’m sure not.

[bangcakes]

.

[scattered-winter]

seven sentence sunday

tagged by @moonlightbuckleys !!!! sending u ALL the kisses and hugs in the whole world MWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is. an oc story im rotating. actually. most of u don't have context for them. but regardless <3 here <3 (also wayyyy more than 7 sentences but SHHhhshhhh)

Missy hesitates, raises a hand to stop Kit before he can leave. He pauses, turns back. Missy is fiddling with a long blonde braid, not quite meeting his eyes.

“There’s, uh. Something I’ve been working on,” she says, and then she reaches for her cluttered work desk and picks up a bracelet. It has large, round black beads, with intricate detailing carved into each one. She holds it up for him to see.

“It’s…a bracelet,” Kit deadpans, raising his eyebrows at her. He’s used to Missy tinkering with odds and ends, and even more used to her showing him her creations, but he doesn’t quite get why she’s so nervous over something so small.

Missy hesitates, rubs the back of her neck. He’s never seen her this nervous. “Look…see, the thing is…I made it for you.”

He must look confused, because she rushes to explain herself. “I’ve been studying those power suppression cuffs the humans use on us,” she says quickly. “It’s fascinating how they work, really, but I was hoping to reverse-engineer them to work for…well. What I was hoping.”

She holds up the bracelet to study it with an analytical gaze. “I…don’t know if it works. But if it does…it can neutralize your powers, Kit.”

Kit just looks at her, not quite believing what she’s saying. “You…you mean…this can…take my powers away?” It almost sounds too good to be true, but at the same time…it’s a terrifying thought.

“No, not quite,” Missy explains. “Just…turn them off for a while. You can control whenever you want them off, and disable the bracelet whenever you need to use them. But while it’s on…well, in theory, it’ll temporarily take away your powers and all the…side effects.”

Kit doesn’t know what to say. He just looks at her, mouth agape, trying to process what she’s saying. He could…he could touch her. He could hug her, like he’s always wanted to do. He ached for it always, a literal throbbing underneath his skin whenever he watched the others hug, or lean into each other, or ruffle each other’s hair. The longing for it, for physical contact, was almost more painful than anything else he’d ever experienced.

And now Missy was here, saying she could help him.

Fuck, he wanted to hug her now more than ever.

Instead, he lets out a trembling exhale and says, “Does…does it work?”

“I haven’t tested it yet,” Missy admits. “I mean…there isn’t really a safe way to do that…but. I don’t know. I just…I wanted you to know that I’m working on it. I won’t stop until I’ve figured it out, I swear.”

Gingerly, she hands him the bracelet, and Kit is careful not to let his fingers brush hers, despite the fact that he’s wearing gloves.

“I think,” he says slowly, not even daring to hope, “I can maybe figure out a way to test it. Without anyone getting hurt.”

Missy grins at him, dark skin smudged with some kind of oil from one of her gadgets. “Well, what are you waiting for?”

Kit hesitatingly smiles back and backs out of her workshop, knees wobbling. He isn’t quite sure how he makes it out into the hallway and up several flights of stairs to the very top floor, then the ladder up to the loft. To Ryker’s room.

He knocks softly on the trapdoor, and Ryker grunts an invitation. Kit sticks his head through the opening, and Ryker looks up from where he’s sunning himself on the floor, large wings spread wide to catch the sunlight streaming through the large skylight set into the roof.

“Hey, Kit. C’mon in.”

Kit climbs inside and carefully lowers the door closed behind him. Ryker shifts to a sitting position, black wings sweeping over the floor and coming to rest behind him.

Kit doesn’t know where to start. The bracelet is hanging from his grasp, cool and light, and Ryker is sitting in front of him in a beam of sunlight, so close but so incredibly far just like everyone else, and Kit doesn’t know how to cross the distance without hurting, without killing.

“Kit,” Ryker says, and it’s his soft voice, the one he uses when he’s trying to comfort one of the younger kids after a nightmare. “What’s going on?”

Kit swallows. He can do this. “Missy’s been working on a way to…to neutralize my powers,” he says, voice hitching involuntarily. “And the only way I can think of to test it without…without risking anyone getting hurt…”

Because Ryker is the only one who has touched him skin to skin and lived. Because his powers are unique, and his self-healing can keep up with Kit’s destruction, at least for a while.

It’s painful. Kit knows that. But it isn’t fatal, and that’s better than anything else.

He can see the moment Ryker understands why he’s come. “You need to test it on me,” he says.

Kit nods, barely able to draw in a full breath. He feels like he’s standing on the edge of a cliff, threatening to fall, and he can’t step back onto solid ground but he’s too afraid to take the plunge.

But Ryker just stretches out a hand, palm forward, fingers splayed, and just holds it there, in the space between them. And he just waits.

Kit draws in a shaking breath, slowly slips on the bracelet. He pinches a bead between his fingers, just as Missy had instructed, and twists it three ticks to the left. The carvings in the beads light up a cool, pale blue.

Then, with trembling fingers, Kit removes his gloves, one at a time. His fingers are pale, like the rest of his body probably is. He’s fairly sure his heart has stopped beating.

“Kit,” Ryker says, and Kit realizes he’s frozen up like a deer in headlights. “It’s okay,” Ryker continues, voice gentle. “We don’t need to—”

“No,” Kit manages to gasp. “I…I need to know.” If there’s a chance, if there’s hope, if he’ll ever find release.

Kit takes in a deep breath, squares his shoulders, and reaches forward. He’s moving in slow motion, swimming through syrup, as his hand slowly moves toward Ryker’s. Ryker doesn’t move, doesn’t try to reach for him. He just waits and lets Kit come to him.

Their fingers are a breath apart now, and Kit gathers his courage. He’s ready to pull away at the slightest sign of Ryker being hurt, at the slightest spark of his power surging into Ryker’s body. He reaches forward.

And their fingers brush against each other.

Kit pulls back immediately, in shock, in surprise, because he expected Ryker to flinch back, because that’s what always, always happened.

But there had been nothing. No spark of warmth, no crackle of fire in his veins. Kit slowly, cautiously presses the tips of his fingers to Ryker’s again, gauging his reaction for any indication that he needs to stop.

The only sign he gets is a smile, spreading slow and wide across Ryker’s face.

Kit keeps reaching, keeps moving, until their palms are flat against each other. Still, no burst of power, and Ryker is still smiling at him, so widely it must be hurting his cheeks.

Slowly, Ryker tangles their fingers, and their hands slot together like puzzle pieces.

And oh. His hands are rough, callused from battle, but they’re warm. It’s like everything Ryker had imagined, and at the same time it’s so, so much more.

He lets out a small laugh that cuts off into a hitched sob. Ryker is beaming at him, gently squeezing his hand, and Kit doesn’t know if he’s laughing more or crying as he squeezes back.

“It…it works,” he gasps through tears. “I…I didn’t think…” Then he gasps, sits up straighter as he remembers something important.

“What?” Ryker is looking at him in concern, their hands still tangled together, and Kit isn’t sure he ever wants to let go. “Are you okay?”

Kit stands, pulls Ryker up with him. “I need to go hug Missy,” he says, and Ryker grins.

“Well, what are we waiting for?”

tagging !! @soleadita and @xandromedan and @dauntingday and all my other writer friends!!!! and anyone else who wants to!!!!!!!!!!!!

[deanisthegayuncle]

According to @corancoranthemagicalman AI written fic is?? A thing now? Which. Why. Also, upsetting! But it does result in things like this:

So. Yk I’m mad but I’m laughing dfskgdkg. HOWEVER my very real and human brain spit some dialogue at me after seeing this and I bequeath it to you if you so wish to use it <3

Character A: I don’… have the. The fuckin’… shit. The thing.

Character B: Dude, how drunk are you? The what?

A: The… the brian caspass. Cass— caps— FUCK. Cuh-pass-sit-tee. For this.

B: Oh, believe me. I don’t have the Brian capacity for this either.

A: …who’s Brian?

B: Oh my god.

[zmediaoutlet]

10 & 27! good luck on proctoring!

thank you bud ;-; -- I just did #10 here, but for the other --

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

I think this is an interesting question bc I don't really think of characters as stressful -- they're the easy part! Plot (that bitch!) is the stressful part. That said, when it's a character I don't much think about or who doesn't have a very strong life already demonstrated, the 'stress' such as it is can be in making sure they are themselves and not some weird generic thing. This came up more when I was doing the charity fics or kinkmemes and needed to create someone somewhat whole-cloth -- Claire in 2023, say, especially when I really didn't like Claire and was dreading writing her POV, but then I think (hope!) she turned out relatively reasonable and sounding like herself. Similarly, Mick in hazard -- we really have VERY few details about Mick's life, and constructing him into someone who'd be believable in <3k was a bit of a trick.

Now that I'm writing this out, though, I think the most stressful kind of character would be trying to write a character you know in a situation you don't want them in, with reactions you don't really believe. Again, for charity, I wrote a FHoW treatment someone asked me for in which they wanted a very abusive John -- and I did it, because they donated to charity and that's the point of the whole exercise, but my whole conception of John is specifically not as 'obviously' abusive and so even if he only appeared in like three sentences, there's this little frisson of wrongness that goes through that whole fic and it makes me... eh, stressed isn't exactly the right word but it's close enough. The problem is that *I* don't believe it, so it has this dissonant note where I feel like readers won't believe it either. (But they do, because every reader is bringing her own vibe to the piece, so me feeling like something is bad doesn't actually matter.) Nevertheless, it's a lil :< on my list of works. Stressful.

(come distract me from proctoring pls, it's so boring)

[gyuswhore]

Grease (the tragedy)

“Careful, those marks on the floor aren’t just oil and paint.”

jeon wonwoo x reader

word count: 5.8k

warnings: smut [minors DNI], fluff, angst, mechanic!wonu, annoyances to lovers, blind date gone wrong but then gone right, kissing, clit stuff, oral (f. rec), thigh fucking (oop), this all happens at a desk LMAO, title is a what I thought was a funny spin on how people say "grease (the musical)"....has nothing to do with the musical though but lots to do with actual grease!!!

synopsis: In which you have to sit through one of the worst dates of your life, followed by the insistent tug of fate and compulsion that lead you straight back to where you'd sworn you'd never go.

[a/n]: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WIFE CAMOTHY @highvern everyone go say happy birthday to cam or ill appear in your room at night 🔫 anygays HAVE FUN READING THIS I hope this is all the sexy wonu content you wanted, I cant wait for your reaction hehehhehe

and also bigbigbigbig thank you to jessifer @the-boy-meets-evil for proofing this for me!!! ily heh

and and to everyone reading this who is not cam, I hope you enjoy reading mechanic!wonu as much as I liked writing him heheh PLS REMEMBER TO REBLOG AND TELL ME UR THOTS it could be in the tags, replies, an ask literally anything!!!! id love to hear what you guys think!!!!

masterlist

 [You]: do you think he died on the way [Liv]: hes still not there??? [You]: what do you think????? [Liv]: let me ask Amelia [You]: dont bother [You]: he can show up whenever he wants im leaving in 5 [Liv]: you promised you’d sit thru this!! [You]: sit thru what? an empty seat across from me???

Liv doesn’t respond immediately, and you immediately know she’s buggered off to ask her cousin why your date still wasn’t here. 

It’s not like you couldn’t have asked him yourself, the sparse textbox sitting just under Liv’s contact. You open it to inspect the contents. 

[liv’s cousin’s something]: Amelia gave me your number [liv’s cousin’s something]: friday night at the sage&salt at 7  [liv’s cousin’s something]: is that okay [You]: uh hey [You]: yeah that’s fine

Today 7:20 PM

[You]: im here?

The first thread of texts were enough to make you feel like this was some cold business meeting instead of a date, knowing wherever this would lead would be either the city dump or off a cliff. Liv was hearing none of it, taking the guilt tripping route, saying she’d already committed and her cousin was irritating enough even without a scuffle.

So when Friday evening came around you’d pulled on the first dress your fingers could find, took all of ten minutes fighting with your makeup to make it look like you did something and left the house with zero expectations. 

Despite that, as you see a man walk into the establishment dressed like he’d gotten into a fight with a squid and a paper shredder, you feel the stone in your chest tank into the abyss. Zero expectations, and he’s somehow managed to strike out anyway. 

The jacket looks like he’s put it on as a weak cover for the grime stains on his shirt and trousers, a couple jet black splatters across the outfit to really pull the whole thing together. It’s not like he looked homeless or anything, his face surprisingly handsome with his hair pushed away from his forehead. Although he remains looking like he’d been playing football in some neighbourhood parking lot before remembering he had an adult appointment too. 

You’d never seen the man in your life, but your gut told you this was the shit texter who’d kept you waiting for nearly an hour. He seems to notice too, eyes locking from across the restaurant as the waitress leads him to your table. 

“Wonwoo,” you greet with a difficult smile, half sure it came out as a grimace. “Right?”

“Yeah,” he huffs as he practically slams back down on the chair, and you wonder for a moment how the legs didn’t give out. He says your name and you nod. “Sorry I’m late, I got a call in the parking lot.”

He’s been in the parking lot this entire time?!

It’s like you’ve been doused in gasoline and lit on fire, yet somehow needing to give him a shaky reply anyway. 

“O–oh, I see.”

The waitress saves you from spitting in his face when she asks if you were ready to order. 

Dinner was off the table, as you discussed with Liv who forwarded it to her cousin to her–whoever it was that set up this god awful date–and agreed on dessert and perhaps a drink. 

“I’ll have the chocolate cake,” you request in an attempt to make this somewhat better. You consider for a moment before asking for a drink as well, “And a dry gin martini, please.”

“Um,” he staggers as he barely skims the menu, ultimately flipping it closed. “I’ll have the same, I guess.”

Deep voice. You might’ve liked that if you weren’t already so peeved. 

The waitress disappears with the menus, leaving you two alone for the first time. 

“So,” you start with an exhale. “How do you know Amelia?”

“Her husband.”

“I see.”

Silence. 

“How do you know her husband?”

He sighs like this is all inconveniencing him, and it irks you to an irrespective degree. Like you wanted to be here either. 

“He brings his car to the workshop alot, became friends somewhere along the line.”

“Workshop?”

He looks a little startled, cocking his head to the side. “I’m a mechanic? Did Olivia–was it–not tell you?”

“No, she didn’t.”

It’s silent yet again as the man across from you refuses to elaborate. You curse as you ask him a follow up question. If there was anything you hated more than shouldering a dead conversation, it was sitting through an awkward silence. 

One hour. You’d sit through this for one more hour and then you’d leave. 

“What kind of cars do you work on?”

“Expensive ones,” he answers. You might’ve kicked yourself if he’d ended it at that, but he continues with a purse of his lips. “Ones that rich people abuse to an inch of the machine’s life and wonder why the dealership gives up on it. Vintage pieces too.”

“Have I heard of it?”

“The cars?”

“No, I mean,” you let out a breath. “Your workshop.”

“Jeon Motors, just a couple streets down actually.”

You did know what he was talking about, not expecting to recognise it through the empty question, passing by it on multiple occasions in this part of the city.

“Oh, I’ve seen it a few times.”

“Yeah, we’ve been there for a while.”

“Family business?”

“Uh–sort of.” 

“Okay,” you sigh in an irritated laugh. This was going to be a very difficult hour. “Keep that to yourself too.”

“Is there a problem?”

Just as you lift your eyes to lock with his, a ready yes, there is actually a problem on your tongue, there’s an intrusion. 

“Here are your chocolate cakes,” the waitress places the cakes down, and then the drinks. “And your dry gin martinis. Do you guys need anything else?” By the time the waitress is gone you’ve somewhat forced yourself to put that sudden surge of flames out, to a degree at least. 

“Okay,” he sighs, grabbing his glass and downing nearly half the contents. He emerges, wiping a bit of a spill from the corner of his mouth. “Let’s get this out of the way.”

“Hm?” He’s speaking to you with a very weird surge of intensity, and it confuses you.

“Neither of us wanna be here. You’re clearly trying to be hospitable but I’d really rather you not, especially when we’re both doing this to get our respective ticks off our hides.”

There isn’t much you can do but stare at him. 

“Have I misjudged your advances?” he asks over his glass, sharp eyes piercing. 

“No!” you yelp, reaching for your drink yourself, taking big sips only to emerge sputtering and heaving. 

Your date looks like he’s rising out of his chair when you raise a hand to stop him. 

“No,” you repeat, less jumpy this time. “I guess we could’ve cleared that out from before.”

Did he…snort?

“Sorry.” Dropping his chin to his chest, he composes himself. 

“What?” you ask, remaining annoyed as ever. 

“Nothing.”

That does it. You slam your now empty glass down on the table, slipping your fork out of the napkin a little forcefully, the metal glinting in the light of the restaurant. You dig into a corner of the cake and shove it in your mouth. 

If he was gonna be rude, you could be too. 

“I don’t know about hospitable.” You swallow. “But I assumed not being an ass was kind of an unwritten rule for any situation really. Including the ones you’d rather not be in.”

Wonwoo stares at you with a blank face, his cake untouched. “I’m being an ass. My laugh couldn’t have offended you that much.”

“So you did pick that up,” you comment. “With the way this conversation’s going I would’ve thought it flew right over your engine.”

“I’d argue your laugh was the least offensive thing you’ve done tonight.” You plunge your fork into your cake again. “But clearly we’re in different realms of etiquette.”

Your eyes meet the rough stains on his attire, and then his own that bore into yours like a challenge. The cake isn’t too sweet, rich just the right amount and texturally sound. Maybe something good did come out of this fiasco. 

“Okay fine,” he announces, sitting up straighter. “I apologise.”

“For laughing?”

“And for being obscenely late.”

“And?”

“And…” he genuinely looks like he’s struggling to figure it out, but catches your eyes flickering to his tattered and stained outfit. “And for my entirely inappropriate dressing sense. You’ll have to forgive me for that one, oil and grime are my spoils of war.”

“Wear it like a badge, mister mechanic, but perhaps somewhere it’s appreciated.” 

Wonwoo has already finished his drink, his cake remaining untouched. “You’re quite adamant on disliking me.”

“And you’re quite adamant on being a horrid conversationalist.”

The corners of his mouth lift the slightest bit. Opening his mouth to respond, you cut him off. “Cars don’t talk? Or perhaps, machines are easier to understand?”

“More like I don’t care to be personable.”

“That can’t be good for business.”

“The cars speak for themselves.”

He’s a weird one. Even more so when he offers to pay the entire bill, promising you he wasn’t lying when he said he was good at what he does, and to “make up for lost personality points.” You manage to pay your half anyway, considering the circumstances. 

“Can you at least let me drive you home?” Wonwoo asks as you both step out of the establishment soon after. 

“Depends.” You fix the strap of your bag. “Will it fall apart on the highway?”

The blaring white of the restaurant's outdoor lights backlight Wonwoo to make him look like some sad angel. He turns to you, the same slight smirk that seems to be plastered on his face. “Why don’t you find out?”

“What do you mean sell it? I got this thing a year ago!” 

There isn’t much you can do but sigh loudly as you listen to Olivia talk about the state of her car, the one that cost too much to justify but she seemed to use and abuse like a very replaceable toy truck. 

Leaning against the hood of the darn thing, you talk to her. “The dealership is giving you a shit deal to take it off your hands, you might as well try your luck.”

The look on her face is easy to read as she silences. Not convinced in the slightest, waiting for the conversation to end just so she could figure it out on her own. Sighing loudly, you look back to the dark beauty with a crate of issues that make it spit and sputter to a stop every few weeks. 

“How much did you say the repairs cost again?”

“Enough to put me on food stamps,” she whines through her frustration, tears pricking against her eyes as they glisten under the neighbourhood streetlights. “Why are you smirking like that?!”

“It’s just,” you pause as you consider your next words, pressing your lips together. “This is a little bit your fault.”

Lies, it was entirely her fault. 

Liv stares like you’ve just offended her, which you’re sure you have.

“Care to share how this possible bankruptcy could be my fault?"

“Because you drive the thing like you have a secret reserve buried somewhere in Tenerife.”

“My apologies for making a habit of not being a public nuisance and going forty on a national highway.”

“Your speed-o-metre is not the issue here.”

“Yes, of course, everything’s my fault.”

“Liv, please!” You groan loudly. “Just…let’s try putting up a listing tomorrow. Consider the prospects and you can decide from there.”

Sagging her shoulders and stretching her neck, Liv decides to simply trudge back indoors in silence. You take it as a begrudging yes, and follow her inside. 

That very night, when you were at the very cusp of falling into the dark space of sleep, your brain re-awakens before your eyes do. A jolt as the memory comes back to you of the many months ago, sitting in that restaurant across from a man who was too handsome for the personality he seemed to sire. 

“Expensive ones,” he had said. “Ones that rich people abuse to an inch of the machine’s life and wonder why the dealership gives up on it.”

How fitting. 

“Are you going to explain or should I explode instead?” 

You’d mentally prepared for the bombardment of accusations from Liv, her questioning perfectly right as you yourself cringed at the thought of showing your face here of all places. The one last one that’d officially banned her from ever setting you up with an individual of her choosing ever again. 

Hearing only silence as her answer, she appeals; “I thought he was the worst date of your life.”

“Nothing to do with his skills as a mechanic,” you mumble, refusing to make eye contact. 

“And everything to do with this being a horrible idea anyway!” Liv stares up at the sign on top of the garage. Jeon Motors. “What makes you think this guy can fix my car?”

What did make you think he could fix Liv’s car? If you’d known you might have given her an answer, but as you stare at the giant signboard that you’ve driven past for longer than you can remember, you can’t help but feel this place has been haunting you. Just a little. 

You can’t help but feel the tingle of goosebumps rise on your skin, the hairs across the expanse standing up at the thought of walking inside. There was no way you could differentiate the reaction from plain nerves or from the cringing drills that sound all the way outside the establishment. Regardless, you make an attempt to look confident as you make your strides into the pungent of the workshop. 

The first thing you note is how…clean everything is. Cleaner than any other workshop you’ve walked into anyway. 

The interior is bigger than it looks from the outside, the ginormous hall hosting about a dozen cars within your eyeshot alone. One side of the great hall holds an array of parked cars in different stages of dismantled and deconstructed, while the other side is lined with contraptions that look like stripped and enlarged elevators. 

Once you’ve inhaled a beyond recommended amount of smoke fumes and listened past all of the clanging, banging and sparks, you register the people that are elbow deep in the hoods of the vehicle they’re working on, enough to leave you and Liv standing at the entrance of an establishment that you can barely make sense of. 

“Can I help you?” A man in stained beige overalls approaches your wide eyed pair, face half covered in his baseball hat and hands occupied with a rag. 

To your slightest dismay, it isn’t the man you’re looking for.

“Uh– is Wonwoo here?” you ask. 

“He’s in a meeting right now. Are you a friend?” 

No, just a failed love interest.

“He,” you falter. If you weren’t a friend…then what were you? “He gave me his card.”

“Do you need help with your car?”

“Mine, actually,” Liv pipes. “It’s outside if you wanna take a look first.”

With one sweeping look across the warehouse, your eyes land on one of the few doors on the left. You register the plain look of it for barely a moment before joining Liv outside. 

By the time her car has been rolled and parked inside for a more thorough inspection, it’s taken you every last grain of your willpower to not stalk back out and wait in your car. For whatever reason, you can’t help but feel a very familiar spasm of irritation spark through you. Here you are, left anxiously waiting for the same man for a second time, merely feet away but remaining occupied with more important things. 

At the very least, the multiple hands prodding around the car’s engine were being somewhat of use, attempting to survey the same issues that had been looked at about a dozen times before. You silently promise to be a better person if this trip wouldn’t be for vain.  

“Am I late for something again?” 

Your throat is suddenly clogged as you open your mouth and no sound graces your presence. The face that meets you has his eyebrows raised as he stares at you in expectation, a ghost of a smile on his face. 

“W–Wonwoo, hi, um.” You clear your throat loudly, heat cursing your cheeks. “No, of course not.”

“To what do I owe the pleasure after…four months?” he asks, hands on his hips and his back straightened.

“I…my friend’s car needed to be looked at so…”

“Ah, of course!” He turns to where you’ve motioned, looking at the popped hood of the car his employees are working on. “I’ll take a look at it myself, don’t worry about it.”

He’s already walking away, towards the car and leaving you a ways away from the action. You stare at his back; the overalls tied at the waist and the stained white T-shirt that clings to his form from the humidity.

Wonwoo remains a man of a few words, and you remain at wits end about it all. 

A loud honk gives you something to do as you jump at the sound so up close, scrambling to move away from the smack centre as another car pulls into the garage. 

“Careful, those marks on the floor aren’t just oil and paint.” Wonwoo snickers from his place hunched over the hood as he cranes his neck to look at you. 

You walk over to where he is to get out of the way. “Was that meant to sound like an innuendo?”

“I was talking about the occasional running over someone’s foot,” he answers. “Not sure what you were thinking.” 

Ignoring the jab, you note that it was now only you and him crowding the car, “Where’s Olivia?”

“Went to look at spare parts.” You watch him as his gloved hands reach further into the enclave and yank at something hard. 

“So you can fix it?” 

“The car? It’ll take a couple days but it’s not really an issue.”

Furrowing your brows, you press on, “But the dealership—”

“Dealerships are the spawn of the devil,” he grunts as he finally wrenches out a spare nut or bolt or something that’s covered in oil. “Let me guess, they wanted her to sell it back to them?”

It’s your turn to raise your brows. “Yes. They tried fixing it, but it'd just stop again.”

“Because they’ve been fixing the symptoms.” He raises his eyes to meet yours, hands occupied with rubbing the part in his hands relatively clean with a rag. “They haven’t bothered to do anything about the actual problem.” 

“Because that’s gonna cost…?”

“Couple hundred, give or take,” he announces nonchalantly, turning his focus back to the engine. 

“But—” That’s it?

“Fifty extra for every question I have to answer after this.” You briefly wonder if Wonwoo’s eyes were always this piercing, boring into your soul like he didn’t need words to know what was going on with you. 

“Fine,” you huff, moving to drag a chair over, mostly just so you could have reason to break eye contact, and plop down as you watch him work. 

The more you think about it, the more you can find yourself unbothered by his strange behaviour. He wasn’t bleak, but nowhere near one of the more interesting people you’ve met. Taking the opportunity to really scan the man head to toe, you can’t say you find anything truly concrete to be this put off by him. 

Not much of a talker, but with the times you’ve prayed for a man that knew when to shut up sometimes, you wonder how much you can actually complain about this boon in particular. 

Besides, he was a looker, and you were completely content shutting your trap if it meant you got to shamelessly ogle at him from this close. 

“You know, this place looks bigger than it does from the outside.”

Wonwoo stares pointedly. 

You raise a shoulder in nonchalance, “Wasn’t a question!”

He simply huffs as he mumbles, “More length than breadth I suppose.”

“What are those things called?” you ask as you watch a sedan get lifted into the on some platform on the other end of the row. 

Glancing back, he answers, “Post lift, car lift, whatever you wanna call it.”

“What does it do?”

“Take a wild guess.”

“Touché.” 

Glancing back at him, you catch sight of his stained shirt once again. “Is that the same thing you wore to our date?”

Chin to chest, he registers what he’s wearing, hands still working on pulling bolts and boxes out of the hood. “Have about twenty of the same shirt, I can never be too sure.”

“You’re impossible.”

He smirks, “Touché.” 

You questioned if this was a mistake. 

Olivia could pick up her car herself, so why did you insist to be the one that did it? As you pay the taxi driver, you feel your ankles lock for a moment as you move to slip out of the cab. Frozen, you hear the driver ask you if everything was alright, to which your legs seem to work again, finally foot to gravel in front of the dreaded workshop.

The Jeon Motors sign blares the same as it always has in the afternoon light, glinting as it encourages you to walk in and do one of the stupider things you’ve done in life. Other than the ridiculous outfit you’ve put on, of course. 

But alas, as you hand over your slip to one of the many mechanics in the workshop, you find yourself praying he wasn’t here after all, that perhaps you could miss him as you leave and never have to see him again. 

Somebody yells out his name, and the dream drifts away like smoke. 

Finding the courage, you look up to where the man shouted for him, and immediately wish you hadn’t. 

Wonwoo remains in his overalls, the same ones that he had tied to his waist the last time you saw him. His undershirt however…

The tank top is revealing too much for you to pretend you don’t care, his hair remaining pushed back and away from his forehead as he walks over to you in what feels like slow motion. He takes the slip that he does not need, smiling at you as he says his hellos. 

“Car’s all fixed up, just need some papers that need signing and you’re all set.”

“Oh, but Liv isn’t here today.”

“That’s alright, you can sign them too,” he reassures, motioning for you to walk with him towards the car. “The car was alright in the test drives, revving hasn’t caused any problems either.”

He halts in front of the now (supposedly) fixed black sedan and pats the hood lightly, “If anything happens tell her to bring it straight here, although it shouldn’t have any more problems.”

“What’s your rate of return on customers?” you ask, a slight smirk on your face.

He thinks for a moment, “Pretty crap. But I guess that means I’m doing something right.”

You consider yourself something of a helicopter parent when it comes to your own car, but perhaps you’d change that if it meant you’d get to come here a little more often. 

Goodness, what’s gotten into you.

Wonwoo’s smiling too, and for a brief moment the silence is nearly awkward. A pause before he proposes leaving. 

“Shall we go to the office then?” 

Nodding eagerly, you trail behind him as he leads you towards the other end of the workshop, passing by even more cars in all their stripped or constructed glory. Glancing in front, you catch sight of Wonwoo’s back, ensnared for a moment before you snap your head away, reciting every curse word you know like a mantra. 

“It’s less hot in here too, keep the air on all the time.” Wonwoo stands in front of the plain doors, hands on the handle to wrench it open. You recognise it as the same door you had noted a few days ago. “Would you like anything? Coffee, tea?”

“Um, just water is fine, thanks.”

It’s quite plain, beige and leather against cream walls and unfittingly white lights. There’s a desk on one corner that’s beyond cluttered with more papers than you can register, pens and other office supplies mixed into the disorganised chaos of the large tabletop.

“Sorry about the mess, I can never find time to sort through it.” To your surprise, the light tinge of his cheeks suggest he might actually feel a little embarrassed. 

Cute. 

There’s cabinets that line on one of the far walls, and you watch him take his gloves off to open it and reach for a cup. The white porcelain emerges stained with an ashy grey as his fingers betray him. He looks flustered, glancing at his hands and back up to the cabinet. 

You can’t help but laugh a little, moving forward to help. “It’s alright, let me.”

“Sorry,” he apologised again, with a sheepish look on his face. “I’ll, um, wash this off.”

“Go on, I’m here,” you reassure as you move towards the water dispenser in the corner to fill your clean cup. 

He returns with significantly cleaner hands and apologises one last time. “Seems all I do around you is apologise.”

You have the good humour to chuckle, “So I’ve noticed.”

He does well to clear out most of the clutter that’s on his desk, leaving enough room to set down a few pieces of paper as you take a seat on the opposite side. 

As you scan through the papers, he attempts to make sober conversation. “You should…bring your car around for inspections if you want.”

“Oh? Even if I ask a million questions?”

“I can make an exception or two,” he grins. 

“And if you charge me double?”

“Might not charge you at all.”

“Might?” you question as you lift the pen he’d given you to sign the first space. 

“Might.”

“And what’re the conditions for that?” 

He doesn’t answer as he ponders and you fill in the second blank. “I’ll have to think about that.”

You snort before you can help it, your last signature coming out a little wonky as your hands shake. Turning the papers over to him, you continue, “Well then, let me know when you figure it out.”

He stares pointedly as he accepts the papers before dropping his eyes again, “Can I?”

“Hm?”

“Can I? Let you know?” 

It’s like you’ve been frozen over, the typewriter in your mind jamming as it punches out the implications of what he’s saying. 

“It seems, at least to me, that we may have gotten off on the wrong foot,” he continues. 

You hesitate. “I think so too.”

“I…I don’t want to put anything like pressure on you but–” 

“Would you like to try the new gelato place downtown this week?” you ask finally as you save him from his misery. “If…you’d like.”

He looks stunned for a moment before he’s scrambling, “Oh–of course! Yes, anytime is fine with me.”

“Great,” you smile, lifting from your seat. “It’s a date.”

“I’ll promise to wash my hands this time…and my shirt. And I won’t be late.” 

“Let’s not make promises we can’t keep,” you tease. 

You’re nearing the door as he follows behind, and just as you’re about to pull down on the handle, you hear him say your name. 

Turning around, almost too eagerly, you look up at him in expectation. He’s close, almost right behind you as he looks like he’s debating whether opening his mouth is a good idea. 

“Are you doing anything else today?” 

“Um,” you stutter for a moment. “I don’t have to drop off the car till later tonight, that’s all really.”

He swallows. “Do you wanna stay? Just a little while. We can stay in here, nobody comes in anyway.”

You aren’t entirely sure why you said yes, because you did actually have dinner plans with Liv later tonight, but the teeny tiny voice in your mind egged you on anyway. Besides, Liv wouldn’t mind, not if you were cancelling for this.

This entailed the very friendly contact of Wonwoo’s tongue in your mouth, and the extremely cordial way it seemed to caress your insides. If somebody asked you how it led to this, you don’t think you’d have an answer. Not that you care, especially when his hands are grabbing your waist and hips like that.

He’s already locked the door, reassuring you that nobody would find their boss and client in the smack dab middle of the devil’s tango. You take his word for it, relishing in the way his hot breath hits your skin below your ears, his mouth sucking under your earlobes as you whimper ever so quietly. 

Your hands are on his exposed biceps, feeling him up all to your heart's content. “Do you–Do you always wear stuff like this?”

He emerges, wet lipped and eyes trained. “So I wasn’t imagining it.”

“Imagining what?” you ask as you let him unbuckle your trousers.

“Please. Like you weren’t stripping me with your eyes.”

If you were warm before you, you're boiling up now. Were you being so obvious?

“It’s alright,” he reassures as you feel his fingers make contact with the crotch of your panties, pushing in to put pressure on your clit. “Wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t picked up on it.”

You feel his fingers push the dampening fabric away as his fingers make contact with your hole, coating his fingers in the arousal that’s made itself known. It’s hard to not hiss at the way he begins to circle it, thanking the universe that the loud noises of the workshop outside were masking whatever evidence of the heinous crime you were committing inside. 

Back against the couch in his office, you settle into the cushions once you feel him rub at your clit, one hand spreading your lips apart as he continues to massage your own wetness onto your throbbing cunt. 

When he retreats you almost cry out, but are smothered when he plunges two fingers into your hole instead, curling them almost immediately inside you. The consistent brush of the tips of his fingers on your walls are making it difficult to keep your eyes open, and absolutely impossible to keep your moans at bay. 

“Wonwoo, that’s so good, fuck.”

Through your closed eyes, you don’t note when Wonwoo gets on his knees. But you do feel him yank your trousers off entirely, and you definitely feel him place his wet mouth flush on your lower lips, sucking at your clit as he continues to pump his fingers in and out of you mercilessly. 

That’s all it takes for your noises to become increasingly high pitched, hands buried in his beautiful hair as he continues to pleasure you beyond imagination. 

“I’m so close, keep going, please, it feels so–”

He somehow buries his face in deeper, sucking harder, licking faster, and it’s enough for you to finally feel yourself collapsing on the inside, your composure dissolving as you moan so loud you’re sure they can hear it outside, even through all the clanging and revs of cars. 

There’s no way for you to know how long you lay there slumped against the couch cushions, but when you hear Wonwoo speak to you in your ear, you answer. 

“Was that okay?”

“More than okay,” you say as you grab his face and pull his lips to yours, tasting the tang in his mouth from your arousal. “Do you have a condom?”

“I–fuck,” he thinks for a moment. “I don’t think I do.”

You try not to feel too disappointed, but you sigh into his mouth anyway. 

“Can I fuck your thighs?” you hear him ask, and you might have just orgasmed again, untouched. 

“Fuck, yes you can.” 

With a yelp, you feel yourself lifted off the couch as you wrap your arms around Wonwoo’s neck, letting him guide you to his desk. “Wonwoo!”

You hear a loud crash of the desk being stripped of all its inhabitants, and your back hitting the cool of the table top. 

Wonwoo unties the arms of his overalls around his waist, letting the legs pool to the floor before slipping his hard cock out of his boxers. 

You don’t see it as you feel him lock your knees together and lift both your calves to rest on one of his shoulders. But you do feel it as he pushes the head into the seam of your thighs, watching the indent as the pink of his dick appears before you through the skin of your thighs. 

Wonwoo’s face is contorted as he pulls back and pushes back through again, this time brushing against your still sensitive clit. You gasp at contact, and immediately feel him thrusting faster. 

“Wonwoo,” you grunt. “Lower.”

He obliges, pushing his dick lower so it can rub flush against your clit as he begins to roughen up his pace. 

You moan as you feel his free hand that isn’t holding your legs trail to the ends of your shirt, caressing over your stomach to pull it up and reveal your bra clad tits. He pushes his hands under the nearest cup and begins to grope you so wonderfully with his big, warm hands. Rolling the bud between his fingers, you can only grasp onto his wrists as a handheld to keep you down on earth. 

The desk beneath you is rattling with noise, the full drawers making themselves known as Wonwoo pounds into your thighs like he would die if he stopped, mouth coming in contact with whatever skin of your legs he could reach, his breath fanning the side of your knees. 

You’re close again, and you know he is too with the way his thrusts are beginning to grow sloppy. 

“There,” he pants. “Almost.”

You orgasm for the second time, the throb your clit beyond comprehension as the rough of his dick slides across your clit mercilessly. 

“Cum like this, Wonwoo please I need to see you cum.”

And he does, shooting the heft of his load to cover your already wet cunt and thighs, landing on your stomach as he continues to ride out his high between your legs. 

The back of your head hits the table as you take in gulps of air through the aftermath of it all. Wonwoo is putting his weight on the back of your thighs, holding onto the table for support. 

“Oh, Liv is never gonna let me live this down,” you pant, lolling your head to one side as you register him. 

He peers up at you through his hair, the stupid smirk on his face, “Do you care?”

You’re smiling a little too when you answer, “Not really.”

And then your legs are off his shoulders as he nestles between them instead, diving in to lift your head and kiss you. 

And you let him, although you wouldn’t really call it too much of a kiss—not when the both of you were smiling like idiots through the clash. 

[darkbitchithic]

theres some weird microdiscourse on tiktok rn abt fan fiction, specifically batfam content and how there are people writing stuff who have never really interacted with canon a significant amount - there's a lot of shaming and blaming going around and to that I have to say fellas. it's fanfic, not a dissertation - relax a bit

common points against these renegade authors that I see are along the lines of them messing up characterization, not understanding plot points, or just disregarding canon in many instances for their own fan-wraught versions and just. again, I cannot stress this enough but why does it matter??

no fanfic is ever truly going to BE canon compliant, no matter how well written or how well researched it is. that is the literal nature of FAN fiction. getting mad at non-canon content when it's... well... not canon is. particularly funny to me

and I see folks trashing authors for even wanting to write fics when they don't enjoy canon all that much but, again, that's. one of the many points of fanfic. you can do what you want as you want to!! how many spn writers or harry potter writers actively dislike or are dismayed by canon! ppl can't stop praising the marauders fandom for taking jkrowling's crumbs and trying to make something interesting out of them, and many folks wildly mischaracterize characters to better align with their visions for their writing, or even to better reflect their own thoughts and feelings!!! it happens pretty much everywhere, and I just don't get the absolute hate I've been seeing from this fandom in particular

imo this has the energy of folks getting mad at people wearing a nirvana shirt when they've only ever heard one or two songs, or ppl who get pissed when folks call themselves a fan of a game when they've only ever watched lets plays. people have different thresholds for experiencing and enjoying media, and especially in an ecosystem that runs on freely-given labor I think you can take a second and stop trying to police other people. you aren't being forced to read these fics, no one is saying you have to read them or even talk about them, it's just strange elitism and vaguely pretentious. it doesn't hurt anyone, block and move on <3

(obligatory disclaimer: there can be and are valid critiques of these authors! however, comma, I do not think this is one of them and am just tired of seeing so many ppl hate on them for no good reason)