#also please understand I still love this series

[ceratedfish24]

thoughts on grain and Scott?

Hehe just kidding <3

I adore Pesky Poppies! They make silly little games for each other, and they so clearly want to impress each other. I mean, Grian going absolutely all out in Scott’s escape rooms and Build and Seek every single time and Scott being an absolute sweat in the Life series? They love each other’s games so much. They love it when other people make silly little games for them. Their relationship is so playful and spirited.

I always think about when Scott talked about how, when he first met Grian, Grian didn’t trust Scott. Grian thought that Scott was too happy all of the time to be genuine, that Scott was trying to use him for clout, but then Grian got to know Scott and began to realize that, no, Scott’s just like that. What must Grian think of Scott now, then? Is that why Grian is always so giddy and excitable around Scott? Because Scott is so pleased to be there and non-judgmental and pleasant to be around that Grian feels safe and free while still feeling challenged and exhilarated? In wits and competition and sass and mischief, I think that Grian feels like he’s met his match, which is not something he gets to have all of the time.

Also, Scott doesn’t hesitate to indulge Grian. A lot of Hermits “Grian proof” their work, which is understandable, especially after the tunnel bore incident, but Scott doesn’t have to do that for a couple of reasons. First of all, many of Scott’s games are timed. If Grian’s pressing a bunch of buttons and pulling a bunch of levers and doing things he maybe isn’t supposed to be, then he’s using up valuable time. Second of all… Grian… really likes to follow Scott’s rules..? Grian doesn’t like to cheese Scott’s games. He likes to win fair and square. He doesn't really like exploiting things Scott didn’t account for. That’s not very typical of Grian. I really do think that Grian likes to impress Scott.

Thank you for the ask!🩵

[jkags-doodles]

Okay I'm not done with this and I'm going to get into it, because I don't have anything better to do.

The problem is not necessarily the increase in muscle by itself, and if one were to look at this character change from a Watsonian perspective (in-universe), it is possible to justify on a surface level; Zeke wanted to become stronger in order to survive on his own when he was traveling, or Zeke distracted himself from his trauma by working out, or Zeke went to a place frozen in time and immediately got whacked by 60-year-old beauty standards. However, the issue is not that there is no possible way to justify this character decision, but rather that this choice has underlying implications.

So, let's rehash: Zeke lived about 14-15 years in some isolated holler, spent 3 years as a nomadic scavenger, and then finally reached Eden, which is seen as a land of plenty— there's an abundance of food, the health sciences are alive and kicking, and he's no longer under the stress of exhaustion or exposure. This is to say, Eden is a much healthier environment to live in, and the main thing separating Book 1 Zeke from Book 2 Zeke is that he is healthy.

I do not like that this was portrayed specifically through defined musculature. Not changes in his skin, the way he moved, or (shocker) mentioning he put on fat, but defined muscle. This makes the implication that the healthy body for a man is one with defined muscle, specifically abs, which is a facetious implication that can and does do a lot of harm.

Now, you CAN make excuses for it, as outlined above. However, those still loop back to the same problem— regardless of an in-universe justification, why was this the OUT-of-universe reason for this portrayal. If Zeke wanted to get stronger in order to find Allie without getting eaten by rabids, why was this shown by him getting defined muscle instead of literally anything else, especially when he'd want a HIGH body fat percentage to survive the wilderness in winter? If he were working through his thoughts about Jeb and his commune, why did he process it through working out instead of the hundreds of other methods he could use? If he had the time to start putting in more thought about his appearance, why was this the standard he chose to persue? Regardless of the excuse, the underlying implications remain: When Zeke becomes healthier, he becomes more muscular. Why is that?

There is no reason to show him post-Eden, as a more "badass" character, with abs and defined muscle. No-one needed that.

Okay I know in canon Zeke went to Eden and immediately got a haircut and abs, but counter concept: I know better and neither of those things happened. Zeke went to Eden to get hairties and nothing else.

[magicalgirl6]

I'm sure it's been talked about to death, but I just finished yuki yuna season 1 and wanted to talk about it. To be clear, this is fully my own thoughts and opinions. I think it's fully valid if other people feel differently. Also, I don't have the same disabilities as any of the characters, so I can't speak on representation of anything specific.

There were things I liked about the ending for sure. Yuna and Tougou had some very sweet moments, and I liked the emphasis on Yuna recovering through her own willpower rather than the gods' influence

But man I cannot overlook their disabilities being cured…

I understand, from a narrative perspective, that if a major part of the conflict is the gods taking away functionality in parts of your body as offerings, than the solution is taking it back from the gods. I understand that, if they didn't, it might feel like they lost. But they could still fight to break out of / change the system without all their losses being undone in the end!

I don't like disabilities being cured at the end of a story because it sends the message that you can't be disabled and have a happy ending. Like, being cured is the only happy ending. And I know the show wasn't trying to send this message, or at least I don't think it was, because Tougou had plenty of happy moments throughout the series. She was well-written as a wheelchair user, at least as far as I can tell as someone who doesn't use one. I think they did really well with her. But the ending still leaves a bad taste in my mouth because it does still imply that this was the only solution for them.

And I don't think there's anything wrong with the characters being upset after becoming disabled, or it messing with their self worth. Disability can be scary, especially when it's new, and in cases like Itsuki's it can mess with people's aspirations and drastically change the trajectory of people's lives. I think that that's accurate and real. I think they're allowed to be angry and upset for having so much taken from them. But I don't think them getting it back sends the best message to the audience. (And I feel like some of the stuff the characters said about Sonoko seemed kind of offensive? But idk if that was just the translation in the version of the subtitles I had)

I don't think I'll ever recover from my disability. It drastically messes with my life, it makes many things way more difficult, but I know it's not going away. I'm not mad about it anymore. I'm okay. I can still be happy and have a good life. So a story where the characters fully recover doesn't feel inspirational or motivating to me, it feels uncomfortable. I know disabilities can sometimes be recovered from, and I'm not trying to dismiss anyone's experiences, but as someone who won't recover, I'd find it much better to see characters thrive AND stay disabled.

It would still be a victory for them if they didn't have to fight and sacrifice anymore. It would still be a victory for them to keep on living after everything. They don't need a full recovery to be heroes.

[alwritey-aphrodite]

Omg so I’ve been obsessed with this Roy Kent idea but I can’t write for shit so I can’t create this vision but…Roy Kent and a bubblegum pop/rnb musician. Not like Travis’s melde and Taylor but like grumpy football coach who’s Spotify playlist gets leaked and for some reason he’s FREQUENTLY listening to a dua lipa/ariana grande/victoria Monet type. And y/n is like funny and raunchy and authentic with the bubblegum pop vibe.

Like idk I can just see yns fans being. Like “mother and father” and it’s like Roy 😠 and y/n 🥰

Hey there! I saw this and immediately thought of I’ll Write Your Name by @onceuponaoneshotfanfic (also I’m going to highly recommend everything else she writes because it’s all fabulous and I love her)

It’s Roy and Popstar!Reader inspired by Taylor Swift, and seems right up your alley <3

[claire-starsword]

Bloodline of the Sacred Dragons - Chapter 3-3

The rear of the Pao Train had a small deck, for embarking and disembarking and connecting to the other cars.

Deep in the night while everyone slept soundly, Camallia stood there alone.

As her hair blew away freely with the wind coming from both sides of the train, she enjoyed the scenery of the mountains surrounding the Pao Plains. They were like a pitch-black painting, moving as quietly as the stars in the sky. No matter how unchanging they looked, they were slowly but surely being passed by.

She hadn't started this journey for sightseeing.

Camallia berated herself.

Karin and Karna, and Bleu. She had no intention to meet people like them at the start. That wasn't the reason she had come to this land, was it? Those thoughts had her shaken. Because she also had the feeling deep in her heart that she had met just who she had to meet there. One day, liking it or not, she would find out which one of those thoughts was right. Though she didn't yet know when that day would come…

It's easy to drown in your own thoughts. And also, to tear them apart.

With a small noise, the door opened. Someone came by.

"…There you are."

Karin closed the door behind her.

"Do you need anything from me…?"

Camallia asked her amicably, showing a calm smile under the moonlight.

Karin didn't answer right away.

"It is very late already," Camallia warned her, ignoring how the same could be said for herself.

"I do want something…" Karin finally said after a good time, "I have a request. Don't take Bleu with you."

Her words came out like a dam had burst.

"Why is that?" Camallia asked back politely, watching Karin's face as she spoke so directly.

"He wants to go to Parmecia with you, but as long as you have the Manual you don't need him. We can just give it to you."

"Is that so?" Camallia played dumb. "Would it really be wise to give away his precious Manual to someone else? And then, what would I do about the Dragon Blood Crystal seal? Also, his people are waiting for him in Parmecia. Those are reasons enough for him to come, no? The only reason for him to stay back is some meager, selfish fear surrounding the Manual, and that's it. More importantly, Bleu himself decided to go, so no one should be able to stop him."

"No!"

"Why." She answered sharply to Karin's shout.

"Don't take Bleu away!!"

"What a weird thing to say. When have I taken Bleu away, and from who? Sure, he — Sacred Dragons are interesting. Yes, they are perfect, beautiful, and noble creatures. A simple human can't compare to them. So I want to be with him just a little longer. I want to watch up close how he feels, how he thinks. Those are my upfront intentions right now."

"I want to be by his side, too. I want him with me forever."

"Like a pet? Sacred Dragons aren't the kind of creature for that."

"No! Of course that's not what I mean!"

"No, I'm right. Sacred Dragons don't exist for your entertainment."

Karin couldn't find the words against Camallia's scathing criticism.

"He's not yours."

"And not yours either. What are you to Bleu, anyway? A mother? Sister? Or maybe, a lover…?"

Camallia knew she was tormenting her, but even so, she couldn't stop herself from asking.

"…A friend. Yes, a precious friend."

Maybe Karin didn't know yet what name to put to her feelings. Maybe humans were coward and weak creatures.

"Yes. Of course. There shouldn't be any romantic feelings between different species after all. I shouldn't fuss over what you two look like together. As a human, it doesn't concern me."

To Camallia, that was a terrible thing to say. Was there any bond more powerful and mysterious than love in this world? Someone had been asking that kind of question to the stars and wind countless times until just now.

It suddenly occurred to Camallia that she might have had some Sacred Dragon blood mixed in herself. The memories of healing Bleu's wounds came back vividly in her mind.

"Protecting someone and setting someone free are not the same thing. All you're doing is tempting him to run away."

"Wrong. Bleu is bewitched by that Manual. And you drove him to that."

"Oh my, really? I shouldn't have that kind of power. But, if he's really obsessed with the Manual, then I want to see with my own eyes what he'll do when everything is over…"

Camallia began to walk away, stopping by Karin's side as she had her head down.

"They grow up fast, don't they?" She whispered in Karin's ear, and passed her by.

Pushing the door open, Camallia entered back in the train. Closing the door, the darkness of the night and Karin within it both disappeared from her sight.

>To next part

Translation notes:

I hope the feeling came across through the translation so far, but to spell it out: Camallia usual has the most formal speech out of all characters. The moment Karin start shouting at her here, she basically drops it altogether. She's in no way rude, but far more casual and assertive.

Camallia's little monologue about love is about romantic feelings specifically, she uses the same wording as Karin does right before, I just felt it would sound very clunky in that line.

[red-dyed-sarumane]

crying at work today bc i had a sudden realization about tenshi as i was retranslating aru sekai shoushitsu. noticed the word saisei used in both songs and had a thought. like. the whole rebirth type theme really does tie to her. its not just the umareyou mou ichido melody as lyrics at the end of the song its in the other lyrics as well its in the first ou line in aru sekai shoushitsu. she has something to do with this. so say she is the reason they get second chances. we also now get to answer the other question i had, which is if the other's are people and they can lose that and therefore no longer repeat, does tenshi have something to lose? and i dont like the answer i got. shoushitsu calls it a "major sin" and since she's an angel naturally theres going to be a punishment for that. we know the song starts with rain, and rain is our symbol for this whole calamity, both end and beginning of it, but it doesnt end with rain. it ends with the motif. it ends with the world going dark. at first i thought u know well yeah if u die in one world its going to go dark before u wake up in another. but i think this is different now. & i draw ur attention to the art again. the umbrella- she was a safeguard, but theres nothing left to it now. its useless essentially. shes sitting not standing, shes not fighting anymore. shes crying but she's also smiling- like shes made a decision she doesnt like, but shes sure of. i think she self sacrificed for them. she wanted to help, to give them a chance, but in doing so she passed limits she wasnt supposed to (similar to what happens in laboratory but more specific to her).

[paganinpurple]

AO3 Etiquette -UPDATED

Based on both decent and not so decent replies, I have made some changes to my original post below.

It would seem a whole new kind of AO3 reader/writer is emerging and it is becoming clear not everyone quite understands how the website community works. Here is some basic guidance on how most people expect you to go about using AO3 to keep this a fun community archive that funtions correctly:

As well as likes, kudos is for when the story was interesting enough to make you finish reading. If it sucked or was badly written, you probably left. If you finished it, you liked it - so kudos.

If you really liked it, you should try to comment. It can be long and detailed or a literal keysmash. Writers don't care, we just love comments.

No critisism unless the author has specifically asked or agreed to hear it (so use your notes to say if you want some constructive feedback). Even constructive critisism is a no-no unless an author note tells you it's okay. No, posting it online is not an open invitation for that. Many people write as a fun hobby or a way to cope with, among other things, insecurity and just want to share. Don't ruin that for them. I've seen so many authors just stop writing coz they can't handle the negative emotions the critism brings, and it's only meant to be a fun thing shared for free (pointing out tagging errors is not included in this).

Do not comment to ask the author to write/update something else. It's tacky and off-putting and will probably have the opposite effect than the one you want.

There is no algorithm, it's an archive. Use the search and filter function to add/remove the pairings/characters/tropes etc. you want to read about and it will find you the fics that fit the bill.

For this to work, writers must tag and rate stories. This avoids readers finding the wrong things and missing the stuff they want. I don't care how cringy that trope is in your eyes - it gets tagged.

The tag exception is if you don't want to tag a million things or spoil your story, you can rate it as "chose not to use warnings," and maybe tag the bare minimum.

Don't censor tags. How can someone exclude a tag if the word isn't typed out correctly? There are no content bans for terms so don't censor them.

If the tags are mostly content/trigger warnings, especially if they are things considered very fucked up or graphic, you might want to use "dead dove - do not eat" to ensure people know that you're not messing around with tags and what they get is exactly what you've warned them about.

Character A/Character B means a ROMANTIC or SEXUAL relationship of some kind. Character A&Character B is PLATONIC, like friendship or family.

Nothing is banned. This is an rule because banning one thing is a slipperly slope to banning another and another, until nothing is allowed anymore. Do not expect anyone to censor for you. Because of the tags system, you are responsible for your own reading experience.

People can create new chapters and sequels/fic series any time after they "complete" a story. So it's considered perfectly normal to subscribe, even to a finished story. You can even subscribe to the author instead just to cover your bases.

Do not repost stories or change the publishing date without an extremely good reason (like a complete top to bottom rewrite or an exchange youve written for going public). It's an archive, not social media. No one cares what's the most recent, only what fits their tag needs.

Instead of deleting a story you wrote if you hate it - consider making it anonymous or orphaning it so others can still enjoy it, without it being connected to your name anymore. If you still want to delete it, fair enough.

It's come to my attention that metaworks ARE allowed on AO3, which is something I wasn't aware of. So if you do post an essay or theory, please tag it as such so others can choose to search for it or exclude it. Art is also allowed.

The only reason this archive works is because NON ONE PROFITS. Do not link to your ko-fi or patreon or mention monetary gain in any way or you violate the terms and risk having your account removed. If anyone does link, it leaves the archive open to people claiming it's for profit and having the whole thing removed.

I KNOW there's plenty more I missed but I'm trying to cover most of the basics that people seem to be struggling with.

I invite anyone to add to this, but please explain, don't berate.

[primofate]

"Where'd you get that bruise--Oh," in which your Genshin lover gets a good look at the first hickey he left

Warnings: please excuse mistakes as I'm on a time crunch and also sleep deprived, suggestive but still safe for work, humorous in some parts

Other works in this series: (You say I love you for the first time)

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Itto, Kaeya, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Tighnari, Wriothesley, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader  

Aether

gets flustered

"Uh-Umm... Maybe, you should..."

he wants to say cover it up but who is he to tell you what to do?

Starts to second guess if he really gave you that

Will start to think about the events of last night and deflates with embarrassment

Finally points it out, feels kind of bad that he left a mark

"It's just...distracting...I'm sorry if it hurt,"

Albedo

stares at it for the longest time.

There's a half smile, half amused look on his face, like he wants to be happy about it but doesn't want to be too obvious.

Just chuckles and points it out without any shyness whatsoever

"It's rather obvious, but do with it what you will,"

Comes up with some sort of concealing potion to help you hide it

Brews about a 100 of 'em

Alhaitham

Sort of does a double take, looks at it for a few seconds then looks you in the eye

"I'd advise you to hide it,"

he really only says that to keep things professional when the two of you go out

but in the next second he snakes a hand up your arm with a small secret smirk between the two of you

"However, I can't say that it won't happen again...Specially when..."

He recalls the events of last night at this moment, and it seems as if he's staring into your soul. He breaks away from you with a slight hum.

"...I best be going now."

He leaves you confused, but he only hurried off because he felt an urge to give you another one then and there.

Ayato

chuckles to himself

"Well, there's no hiding that I enjoyed myself,"

but gives you helpful suggestions on how to conceal it or at least make the colour less obvious, like putting ice against it, or something.

Speaking of ice, you can simply get it from the kitchen but Ayato is a tease... "I suppose my dear sister can adequately help you with that...Though what, pray tell, would you tell her?"

You kind of shrug and say that you'll tell her an animal bit you.

Ayato is amused "An animal," but there's a twinkle and hint of lust in his eyes. "Yes, perhaps that's what I become when it involves you. The statement isn't exactly a lie,"

Cyno

is silent. Not sure if he's happy about it or horrified.

Feels like a crime cause it looks like a bruise.

Does not say anything for a good minute because he simply doesn't know what to say and is talking to himself in his mind

Like Was I really the one who did that? Last night must've been...

Snaps out of his stupor when he's reminded of the events and clears his throat to catch your attention.

"Y/N...You...I...I've managed to leave a mark...on your neck..."

You absentmindedly touch it and let out a small ohhhhhhh in understanding

Clears his throat again and looks away, pretending to be busy with something. Flustered and doesn't know what else to say.

Dainsleif

Eyebrows involuntarily raise up at the marks.

Points it out immediately

"My dear, it seems that I had a favourite spot last night," and taps on your neck to let you know what exactly he means.

"I can conceal it with a little trick of mine, if you don't mind," he says he can make it invisible to the ordinary eye but some "special" people can see it, so...

"I suppose if you run into the traveller that you'd have to be honest about it. Hm? No, I don't quite mind if they know of our relationship,"

Diluc

is surprised, then apologetic

He didn't know is fully aware how rough he had been last night

Apologizes with a slight tint of red on his cheeks and can't seem to pry his eyes away from it.

"My apologies, Y/N. It looks like I was rather...careless...last night. You should wear something with a collar today...or perhaps, my coat?"

Is seriously considering repenting about it

Itto

"Whoa--"

Is legit about to throw hands but then remembers

"Oh yeah. I did that." while scratching his head bashfully

No shame about it afterwards, even has the gall to say

"I'm surprised it doesn't look worse! It was pretty wild last nig--"

You have to cover his mouth to save yourself from embarrassment

Kaeya

smirks and leans in close to brush his fingers against the hickey.

"It isn't the most flattering of marks but... it gives me quite the sense of accomplishment,"

winks, deadass tries to give you another one right away.

"How about we try that again? Just to even it out on both sides of your neck,"

is only half joking

Lyney

mischievous laugh

is more happy about it than shy, embarrassed or apologetic

"That wasn't very nice of me wasn't it?" but is still smiling

"Unfortunately I don't think I have any magic tricks up my sleeve to fix this one,"

Grabs and hugs you by the waist "I guess we'll just have to stay in, the two of us, until it's unnoticeable"

always looking for an excuse to spend alone time with you.

Neuvillette

clears his throat almost immediately when he sees it, like he choked on water

"Y/N," he starts rather sternly but falters and takes a few seconds to think.

"May I suggest wearing a scarf today?" is awkward about pointing it out so goes the roundabout way. You're so confused because it's the middle of summer.

"Well," he coughs once to try an explain to you. "I didn't have all manners of restraint last night...You were simply...irresistible,"

points it out by gently thumbing at it

Scaramouche

shit-eating grin at the sight of it

Doesn't tell you to cover it up, most likely wants you to go parading around with it.

"Tsk. What's the harm if people ask? Just be honest and tell them," he's just fucking around with your head now

but snatches your wrist and looks you straight in the eye with a confident smirk "And be sure to tell them who gave it to you. That'll teach them to back off,"

Tartaglia

laughs but is slightly apologetic

"Couldn't hold myself back, I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?"

You tell him that the next time he leaves a hickey, he should leave it somewhere where it's more concealed.

"Oh?" sudden glint in his eyes. You might have said the wrong thing. "No take backs, Y/N,"

I think you know what or where he's thinking about

Tighnari

Doesn't say anything at first but immediately whips up a remedy for it. Some sort of green paste that helps with inflammation.

"Here," and hands you the bowl of herbs. "For that,"

He doesn't point at it but instead eyes it rather obviously

He also watches you put the paste on "Alright, just leave it for a few minutes and it should heal wonderfully,"

He doesn't exactly feel guilty but he's more worried that people will look at you weirdly.

"I suppose I'll have to be careful next time," with a sigh.

Wriothesley

laughs but bashfully face palms and tilts his head backwards

Recovers quickly and smiles apologetically

"Sorry love, couldn't hold myself back it looks like," lovingly takes your face in his palms

Can't hold his smile back "But can you blame me? I'm not gunna hide that I was way too excited,"

Suggests you to put a bandage of some sort over it.

"I'll try to be careful next time, but no promises,"

Xiao

Freezes while looking at it

For a split second is confused where you got such a mark but then flusters himself when he remembers it was from him.

"...Y/N..."

seriously does not know what to say

stands there staring at it that you finally just check in the mirror yourself. He hears you gasp and he kind of winces to himself and now feels a little guilty.

"I...didn't mean to hurt you,"

You quickly tell him it doesn't hurt, but you were just surprised.

Thinks for a moment, then mumbles, you can barely hear him "...So it's alright to do it again?"

Zhongli

chuckles, not shy about it. just amused.

"It's no one's fault except my own. I merely wasn't paying heed to how...carnal...my desires were,"

he again chuckles as he explains.

"Not to worry darling, I'm sure Bubu Pharmacy has something to remedy it. I'll be back with it in tow,"

brushes his fingers against the hickey as some sort of apology and promise that he'll fix it

End

I’ve published The Ruthless Prince (Reader x Scaramouche) on paperback. Click here.

Consider supporting me to read some exclusive fics:

Ko-Fi

buymeacoffee

Here’s the Masterlist

[strayslost]

also. about kyouka. i'm not sure how to put this in words, but...

i adore her already as she is, but i think the main reason she's a Top Fave of mine is due to my headcanons for her. and i may have identified why - because looking at what's in canon only, i almost feel like... she's too "innocent" in some ways??

like, she's presented as a character who has a natural affinity for the darkness that she struggles with, but imo she basically has very little culpability in her own crimes due to being literally forced into her position as an assassin, and she comes across as just a straight up Good Person because she regrets and feels remorse for her crimes already by the very first time we meet her. as a result, i feel like... it's a little harder to believe the series' claims that she's naturally "suited for assassination??"

and because of that, i feel like a lot of the themes of her arc of redemption and being capable of change are slightly weaker, or covered better by dazai's arc. now what we have in canon is still great and a lot of this may be personal preference, but... i'm kind of interested in how much of this just may be due to a faulty interpretation of her character/arc on my part.

so to you guys i ask - actually i'm not really sure what i'm asking lol, but. how innocent would you say kyouka actually is in her crimes?? what kind of themes does her arc cover that are unique to her specifically? do you agree with any of this post or have a different take?? i'd love to hear everyone's thoughts because while again, i already love kyouka, i want to love her even more tbh. like i want to love her canon self as much as she deserves, without just relying on headcanons.

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

Yes omg!!! The people who gush about how Katniss is such a tough, 'always practical & in control' type, badass in the books who has never had a "girlish" thought in her life just makes me think 'what series did you read?' because book Katniss is nothing like that.

i don’t understand how people can genuinely think that katniss “this would have happened anyway” everdeen settled in her relationship with peeta “my dandelion in the spring” mellark

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Every Part of You

Pairing - Grumpy!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader A.N. - Alright, I've been asked to write about Bucky and Sunshine's first time many, many times. And the thing is, like sure, I could write that, but also I want us to take a moment to consider trying to build up to that. There's so many firsts buried in there that I think need to be navigated through before they even get there. This is one of those firsts. Like the first time you see Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Grumpy Sunshine Series

"You're just- " You stop speaking, searching for his lips again. Though you're breathless, you can't bring yourself to pull away from him, "You're so pretty."

You shudder as you feel his hand slip under your sweater. The occasional graze of the cool metal on your skin enough to send shivers down your spine.

His lips trail down, nipping at your jaw, "I'm not pretty."

Your hands, winded in the hair at the nape of his neck, glide down his neck, to clutch the fabric of his henley. The moment he feels your fingers toy with the collar of his shirt, his heart hammers against his ribcage. Not in the sort of way that he usually feels in these moments with you. He feels a sense of dread, of panic. It wraps around his spine like a python. It feels like he can't breathe.

"You're so -"

He wrenches away from you, his chest heaving, "Stop, stop, stop."

You freeze, immediately dropping your hands. Panic starts creeping up your throat, coating your words. "Did I - did I do something wrong?"

He gulps, silently shaking his head. It takes him a moment to regain his composure, to regain the ability to speak clearly, "No, no, you're - you're perfect."

Guilt starts to eat at him. He can see you doing your very best to keep your own feelings off your face. He can see the sting of his rejection in the way your lips press together in a tight line. The embarrassment in the pallor of your once flushed cheeks.

You two have worked so hard to overcome your own personal issues and traumas, to build trust in each other, moments like these hadn't come easy. And he so callously pushed you away, it makes him feel worse. And what makes his heart ache even more, he sees nothing but concern for him shining in your eyes. You just look so worried for him.

Your hands rest in your lap. You twist and untwist your fingers. "If you don't want to, we don't - we don't have to do anything. I'm really sorry -"

"No, no, please don't be sorry." He reaches for you, gently squeezing your hand. It soothes him as much as it does you. "I want to. You don't know how much I want to."

"But?"

His eyes squeeze shut. He can't bring himself to meet your eyes. "You haven't seen it before - my arm, my shoulder."

"Oh."

He drops your hand. That feeling takes over him again. It feels like there's not enough air in the room. He slides away from you, closer to the edge of the tiny couch in your apartment. "It's - I am not pretty."

It breaks your heart, watching him pull away from you. You can only imagine how many people have turned away from him before. "James..."

He fervently shakes his head, refusing to open his eyes, "No, no, I know what you're gonna say, but it's bad. A lot worse than you're thinking."

"How do you know what I'm thinking?"

"It's bad," he insists. "I see it every day and I can barely - it's just bad, okay?"

You take his hand, squeezing it tightly. "It's okay if you don't want me to see it. I understand."

He finally opens his eyes again as his eyebrows pull together. He still doesn't meet your eye. "No, no, I want to - I trust you with this, I do. I just - I want you to be prepared."

In that moment, you realize that it's not really about preparing you. Not at all.

He thinks you're going to react badly. He thinks that this will make you turn away from him for the first time ever. He's worried that the love and adoration in your eyes will turn to disgust and repulsion.

It's less about preparing you for the scarred flesh, and more about warning you that he couldn't take a bad reaction. He's not sure he could take it if you turned away from him too.

"I love you," you promise him. "There's nothing that you could show me that would change that. I hope you know that."

There is no response to that. And you know that he won't believe it until he sees it. It takes him a moment. His hand toys with the hem of his shirt. His hand grips the hem, only to let it go.

"I love you," you remind him.

He takes a large gulp of air, pulling off his shirt with one quick movement.

You weren't really sure what you were expecting. You knew the story. You knew how Bucky lost his arm. He even confided the bits and pieces he remembered from getting his vibranium arm.

Your eyes trail over his skin. The shoulder is scarred, scars jut in every direction. Each scar is etched into his skin. It's clear it was a painful, violent experience for him. The metal plate protrudes from the scar tissue in a way that you're sure was painful when first placed. You look on with curiosity, you're not really sure how this, a sign of survival, a badge of resilience, could ever make anyone turn away from him.

He's as breathtaking as you could ever imagine.

Your eyes flicker up at him. He looks at the blank wall of your apartment, scared to watch your facial expressions as you take it in. "Can I?"

He nods, barely able to look you in the eyes. He sucks in a breath when your fingers make contact with the scar tissue surrounding the metal plate.

You immediately pull your fingers back, worried you've accidentally hurt him. "Does it hurt?"

"No," he answers reflexively.

You know he's lying. "I've seen you holding your shoulder before - holding it like it hurts."

"Sometimes," he amends. "The doctor said there's a lot of nerve damage. Things they can't fix."

"Does it hurt now?"

"No."

You run your hand over the plate, over his scars, down to his shoulder blade.

"Still think I'm pretty?" he sarcastically remarks.

You press a gentle kiss to his bare shoulder. "I'll always think you're pretty. Every part of you."

Bucky Barnes Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez @ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams @shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes@beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93 @buckysbarne @deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic @whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy @matchat3a@weallhaveadestiny@mostlymarvelgirl @honeydew3064@michealharrypotter @mrs-bucky-barnes-73@withyoutilltheendoftheline@the-photo-hoe @rae-nna@sarachabeans1 @double-shot-of-tequila @spookyparadisesheep

[slutofpsh]

strip for me.

part seven | sjy.

pairings: hyungline x reader

synopsis: hyung line got you trapped in a situation that you can’t get away from.

wc: 8k.

warnings: smut, minors dni, fivesome, bullying (not promoting violence or bullying), degrading, raw sex (please use protection), dirty talks, curses, masturbation, hyung line being mean. having small sips of champagne. this is not proof read.

note: hi, who missed me? i finally had the courage to come back and share the next part of strip for me series. i hope you understand that i needed to take some time off. anyway, have fun reading jake’s part. please reblog and send me some feedbacks.

part one; two; three; four; five; six

slutofpsh 2024 © all rights reserved.

“are you sure that you won’t have breakfast?” the sweet voice of your mom echoes through the hallway of the house.

“yes, mom.” and with that you gave her a small wave before exiting the house.

it was a saturday morning and the boys planned to have breakfast together. you also have a project to discuss so its a perfect chance to gather before jake enjoys the rest of the day with you.

yes, its his turn to have a date with you. there’s so much anticipation on how it will be spent. jake’s very adorable and he couldn’t stop talking about how excited he is for this day. ever since heeseung and jay had their dates, he just couldn’t wait for his turn.

“sweetheart!” jake waves at you while leaning over his car. he had texted you minutes ago of his arrival and so it isn’t a surprise to see his big smiles.

you waved back and hurried your way towards him. he pushed himself off from his vehicle and run to meet you half-way, can’t wait anymore.

he wraps his strong arms around your waist for a hug and even swirls you around, making you burst into giggles.

“i missed you!” he exclaimed and peppered your face with soft kisses.

“we saw each other yesterday at school.”

he pouts as he sets you down, “still...” his thick lips caught your attention. it was his best asset. he’s very attractive and his features sure goes along perfectly with each other, but for some reasons his lips always manages to steal the spotlight.

“don’t you miss me?” his puppy eyes melts you instantly as he even gave this sorrowful look on his eyes.

and like a helpless girl under his spell you’ve surrendered completely to him. soft caress is what you gave both of his cheeks then smiled softly.

“of course i missed you.” you utters sincerely that brought joy to him.

he smirks then leans in for a kiss at your lips. it lasted for a few seconds, him refusing to let you go right away.

jake’s clingy. out of all of them, he’s the one who can’t seem to keep his hands off of you. he craves for your touch most of the times. every chances he gets to lay his skin in touch with you, he will take it with no hesitation.

“i love you!” he sweetly says that made you smile even wider.

“i love you too, jakey.”

the puppy like gentlemen brightens at what he heard and then guided you to his car. with a hand holding your arm gently, he leads you inside. one hand rests on top of your head, making sure you won’t bump it.

he soon walks around to ride as well then made sure you’re all buckled up before starting to drive.

you rarely see him drive and you can say that he looks hella attractive when he’s this focused on something. the way his arms flexed while manoeuvring the steering wheel makes your stomach churns. its fascinating how everything he does just adds up to his charms.

“do we really have to meet them? why don’t we just ditch them and do something fun?” he suggested. you knew he was just joking, well half of it was not a joke. he does want you all for himself today.

“we still need to discuss something about the project, jake.”

he sighs, “they can do it without us.” he respond right away that made you chuckle.

“jake...” you’re smiling softly at him and he glanced at you with a small grin on his handsome face.

he rolled his eyes jokingly, “fine.” he surrenders and rest his hand on your thigh, patting it gently.

your eyes dropped on it and blushed right away. he’s always touchy around you so this is nothing new. its just, he still caught you off-guard from time to time.

you cleared your throat trying to distract yourself from how jake’s hand feels so warm on your skin.

“w-where are we meeting them?”

he glanced at you, “at (restaurant name).”

you nodded your head and just watch outside the window. your hand rest on top of his, playing through his fingers.

“you look so damn good, sweets.” he suddenly blurted that made you whip your head at his direction.

his eyes are on the road, cheeks tinted red and his lower lip caught in between his teeth.

“t-that’s so random.”

he chuckles and tilted his head to the side. he was quiet for a while before he suddenly drove the car inside this open parking lot.

“this won’t do...” he whispered that you managed to hear. when you noticed that this isn’t the place where you will meet the others, you gave jake a confused look.

“why are we stopping here?”

jake’s already unclasping his seatbelt and eyes staring at you. “i just want to show you how beautiful you look, sweets.”

“h-huh...” and even before you can say anything else, jake already pulled your face close to his. lips clashing over yours a bit too aggressive.

jake wanted to go slow for today. his plan is to not do anything like this until it was his turn to have his date with you. but when you walked out from the door of your house looking so beautiful, he can’t contain his own feelings.

you moaned, arms wrapping around his nape and trying to pull him closer while still lips locked with him. he tastes so sweet, so good for you. his perfectly sculpted lips dancing along with yours, tongue sliding in giving you a taste of his sweet saliva is driving you insane.

“ride me.” he whispers after pulling away, forehead rests on yours.

“b-but...” you’re panting from the make out.

jake kisses you, “i want you so bad.” he whispers desperately that made you gulped. heart thumping so loudly for feeling too much for jake sim.

his arm slid on your waist to guide you on top of him. once again, lips locks with each other, sharing messy kisses. his touch felt hot, like it burns your skin in the best way.

“ride me good, sweets.” he smirks as he unzips his pants to pull out his already hard cock.

despite feeling a bit shocked by this sudden turn of event, you cannot deny the arousal slowly taking over you. he just looked so good and the way he’s always so desperate to be inside you just makes you feel things. while he’s revealing his veiny cock, you reached for your underwear to slide it to the side.

“you ready?” he whispers erotically. he just couldn’t wait to feel your tightness around him. he’s so eager for it.

a nod is all you gave him as answer. he bit his lower lip, eyes half-lidded full of lust and love for you. with both of his hands rested on your hips he slowly guided you down his erect cock. a strained moan escapes your lips, as well as jake’s. it was like music to your ears.

“so tight for me sweets... feel so good.” he whispers near your ear than instantly sent shivers to your spine.

you can’t put your thoughts together as his length just takes away your ability to compose any words to say. the way it fills you up is like puzzle piece. meant to be filled by his throbbing dick.

jake didn’t moved right away, he let himself take time on feeling every inch of you. it was heaven for him. he can’t ask for anything else, he can stay inside if you’ll let him.

“fuck,” he moaned and lifts his head to shower your neck with feather like kisses. he couldn’t contain his feelings. he wanted to feel you even more, like as if you’re not skin to skin already.

“can you move now, sweets? can you do it for me?” he asks so softly, eyes full of lust and desire for you.

a nod is all you can give for him as the stretch was already too much. jake raised one of his hand to brush some strands of hair out of your face. he places wet kiss on your lips, making your eyes shut. hands trailing behind his neck to pull him closer to you.

you slowly tried to move on top of jake, letting out moans as you feel his length even in the slightest movement. it was both torture and heaven.

“j-jake..” you stuttered after managing to pull away from his kisses to catch a breath.

he furrowed his brows and bit his lower lip, starting to feel impatient. he did said he wants you to ride him, watch you take over but he just couldn’t contain himself anymore. and besides, it seems like you’re also unable to do it yourself.

he cupped your face that made you open your eyes. “should i do it for you sweets?”

you can only nod and that served as a trigger for jake to be the one in charge. he pulls your face closer, making your lips locked. kissing you hungrily.

as the kiss gets deeper, the harder jake pounds on you. muffled moans tries to escape from your lips, but jake’s mouth were there to conceal it with his kisses.

“uggh,” your brows furrowed at the immense pleasure jake’s giving you.

his hand went back to your hips and started fucking even harder. he moves away to stare at your pretty face. eyes looked so desperate for release, lips swollen from all of his kisses and neck decorated with faint kiss marks. oh, its making him dizzy, its making jake crazy. to see you at this state, begging to be fucked by him.

“let’s cum together, hmm sweets?” he smirks, tho his jaw clenched at the feeling of a knot forming on his stomach. he is near as well.

you nod eagerly, hands clapping over his shoulders for some support. his car are starting to feel hot despite the ac working perfectly fine.

as the two of you are busy trying to reach both of your climax, his phone rang. jake only gave a short glance to it, having no intention of answering it. when he saw heeseung’s name flashing through the screen, he rolls his eyes and focuses back onto you.

they just couldn’t wait, can they? he did said that he will pick you up and that you two will arrive at the restaurant together. he just didn’t planned to stop at a parking lot because he can’t resist dicking you up.

“come on, sweetheart. cum for me...” he whispers on your ears after he pulls your face down. its now resting at one of his shoulders.

“i’m s-so close jakey...”

jake grunted after hearing that nickname of his. it just hits different when its coming out from your sinful mouth. everything you say, whether its innocent or not, it makes him feel horny.

“then cum, sweets. i’m so close too, fuck.” his fingers bore to your hips, thrusting even harder.

eyes are both tightly shut the moment you released your orgasm. it was mindblowing and jake’s still moving below you to chase his.

now he’s so ready to cum now that he’s sure you did reached yours. of course, even if he’s so drunk in lust he still prioritize your pleasure. you before anything else. always.

“fuck.” he buried his dick and shoot his hot cum shamelessly inside you. he was out of breath but still tries to check on you, pulling your body closer to him.

“you did so well for me sweetheart.” he whispers and kisses your temple. your hand cares his chest, eyes still close while enjoying cock warming him.

“finally!” jay spat when you and jake walks inside the private room that heeseung reserved for all of you.

with blushing cheeks you tried to pull a smile for the three of them. jay stood up to greet you with a warm hug, heeseung stayed seated while eyeing you and jake, and sunghoon’s eyes are seriously darted at you.

“sorry for keeping you waiting, guys.” you apologize, feeling a bit guilty that you made them wait.

jay pulls off from the hug and flashes you with a sweet smile. he then leans in to give you a peck on your lips. “its fine, baby. i’m sure you’re not at fault.” and his hawk like eyes shoots at the man behind you.

jake chuckles, “chill dude, it was traffic!” he lied with a playful smirk pasted on his handsome face. his hand resting comfortably at your waist.

“yeah, right.” jay moves a bit to give space for heeseung who you failed to notice approaching.

he towered in front of you while looking at jake. “i called you multiple times, jake. why aren’t you picking up your phone?” he asks in a low voice.

you can’t help but to feel a pinch of fear whenever heeseung is like this. yes, you two grew a lot closer and he’s very soft towards you, but his strict demeanor never fails to intimidate you.

his large hands reached out for yours while still waiting for his friend’s response. jake kept his smugly face and tries to even smile innocently to his hyung.

“i told you, hyung. traffic.”

you gulped and glanced at heeseung trying to catch his eyes. once succeeded, you flash him a warm smile, watching how he took your hands closer for a kiss.

“sorry, heeseung. it was traffic.” you tried to go along with jake’s lies in order to put an end in this conversation.

one of heeseung’s brows raised while eyeing you. he remained silent before he lets out a strained sigh.

“if you say so, angel.”

jake almost snorted at how quickly his hyung folded for you. he wanted so bad to tease him, but he knew pretty well that he’ll do the same thing if it was him.

heeseung leans in to give you a kiss before turning to face jay. he started talking about ordering food for all of you.

while they’re at it, your eyes automatically darted at the quiet one on the corner. his eyes are still seriously watching you making you feel shivers through your spine.

jake chuckles lightly when he noticed his friend too. he scoffed before dropping a kiss on your neck and whispering that he will join the hyungs.

you only answered with a nod before glancing back at sunghoon. he clicked his tongue at the side of cheeks then moved his chair a bit away from the table, leaving enough space for you.

he licked his lips then tapped his lap once, “come here, pretty.” he ordered that almost made your knees give up.

you gulped before walking towards him, feeling a lump between your throat and heart racing. his eyes never left you until his hand reaches for yours.

he carefully places you on his lap before staring intensely to your eyes. the corner of his lips lifted as he smirks dangerously at you.

“you’re such a bad liar, pretty.” he whispers, enough only for you to hear. shivers quickly ran down your spine and you sat stiffly when he kisses your neck once, nose nuzzling it right after.

“h-huh?”

his lips stretched, hand caressing your waist gently. you can feel his hot breath fanning your skin, making you a bit dizzy. he gently graze his pointy nose to your neck in circular motion.

“where did you guys did it? in jake’s car?” he asks straightly that caught you off-guard. he looked at you through his long, thick eyelashes.

“h-how did you know?” you questioned. not that you expect that none of them will be suspicious, but he was just too straight forward about it.

a devious smirk remains plastered on his face and you felt his fingers burning your skin.

“you’re just not born to lie, pretty...” he started and places a gentle kiss on your chin before pulling away again to look you in the eyes.

“and i know jake pretty damn well that if its traffic that cause your delay, he wouldn’t be smiling from ear to ear like a fool.” he added that made your cheeks blush.

your lips opened in attempt to say something, but no words manages to come out. sunghoon lets out a low sexy chuckle and wraps his arms around your waist.

“it’s okay, pretty. today’s his day, anyway.” he whispers to comfort and assure you that its totally fine.

tho, sunghoon won’t admit that he felt a bit pissed at jake for acting selfish once again. they had agreed to meet here early and he just can’t contain his horniness. it doesn’t surprise him at all. just like he said... he knew his friend very well. it was almost like he saw it coming.

the other three then finally settles on what food to order and that’s when sunghoon finally lets you off his lap. he dragged the chair between him and jake then made you sit there.

it was a circular table and the other two are sat in front of you. heeseung asks you about your sleep and you answered naturally. he smiles as waiters started to enter the room.

“water, ma’am?” one of them tries to catch your attention.

you glanced at him and smiled before nodding your head ‘yes’. his smile grew as well and remained like that while he carefully poured you some water.

“the food here is really good. i bet you’ll like them.” he then started talking, acting friendly which made you glance back at him.

you smiled again, “really? well, its my boyfriend’s favourite place so i bet it really is good.” you innocently responded.

the friendly smile on the guy’s face dropped after hearing what you said. giggles from beside him emerges that made his ears turn red. he teared his eyes off of you in a flash then finished his job. you can notice that he’s moves are urgent, like as if he wanted to leave this room right away.

your eyes looked so confused that made the four boys around you smile even bigger. you are just so adorable and you don’t even have any clue about it.

jake’s smile were big the moment you glanced at him. he leans in and gave you a hearty kiss on the lips.

“wah, sweets. you’re really the best.” he says and even chuckles again.

sunghoon scoffed and fixed your utensils beside your plate. “i was so ready to butt in, but i guess she can handle things like this pretty well.”

jay’s laugh caught your attention as its like music to your ears. his eyes turned into a line because of the genuine happiness he’s currently having.

“that was good baby.” he compliments, but you’re still as confused as ever.

your eyes then moved towards heeseung in hope that he will shine some light for you. he have this warm proud smile on his handsome face.

“very well said, angel.” he added.

“i... don’t understand?”

jake chuckles again and even pulls your chair closer to him so he can cage you in a tight hug. despite the affection, you remained puzzled.

“‘it’s my boyfriend’s favourite place so i bet it really is good?’” heeseung repeated your exact words.

that made your cheeks turned red, “ did i said something wrong?”

jake shakes his head and made you face him, “that boy is obviously interested and you just blocked his attempts by saying you have a boyfriend.” he smiled so wide.

your mouth gaps in realization. is it really the case? but he was just being friendly. they’re suppose to be like that in this kind of job, right?

“i-isn’t that how it suppose to be?” you asked.

sunghoon clicked his tongue on the side of his cheeks, trying to suppress a smile. you are really making him crazy.

jake’s eyes shines as he leans closer again to lock his lips with yours. “i am really in love with you, sweets.”

even if you’re still confused, you managed to respond to him. “i love you too, jakey.”

heeseung can’t help but to smile. he couldn’t deny the rush of blood he felt the moment you mentioned about your boyfriend liking this restaurant, obviously referring to him. you may be oblivious about it, but it was enough to rock them all.

food arrived while jake’s still being clingy with you. even if there are other people entering to deliver the food, he just don’t mind. he will kiss your hands and face while staring lovingly at you.

“which one do you want to eat first?” he asks and helped assisting you with the food you like.

he’s been too busy taking care of you that his plate are still so empty.

“what do you want to eat, jakey? i’ll get it for you.” you volunteered, wanting to take care of him as well.

a playful smile spreads across his face while he finished placing food to your plate. he then leans in closer to whisper something. you stiffened on your seat, feeling his hot breath fanning and lips grazing your ears.

“you.”

one word and it already made you a blushing mess. he chuckles sexily before pulling away to take care of his plate this time.

“can you at least respect the food, sim jaeyun?” jay blurted out while shaking his head side to side.

the other two didn’t even spared him a glance and just busy themselves with their foods. they don’t need to hear what he said. they all know jake well enough to confirm what he whispered to you.

jake laughed and mumbled a short apology, tho he knew pretty well he’s not that sorry.

the five of you enjoyed the meals with light conversations. heeseung also opens up about some details that needs to be discussed for your project (the main agenda for today’s meet up).

“where will the two of you go after this?” jay asks curiously, as the meeting wraps up.

he’s standing in front of you, holding your hand while jake’s hugging you from the back. his chin rests on your shoulder while a playful smirk plays through his face.

sunghoon stands on the side, silently watching. heeseung is currently taking care of the bill. its just comforting for you how things seems to be natural around the five of you after clearing everything.

“that’s none of your business.” jake was quick the block off jay’s curiosity. it made you chuckle because he’s really silly sometimes.

jay frowned at his friend and even gestured that he’s about to hit jake. the latter didn’t even budge and just showed his tongue at him. you smiled and watch how they playfully banter with each other.

“i was just asking.”

“and i have no plan to answer.” jake responded.

jay’s eyes darted at you and with soft gaze, he slightly pouts his lips. “where are you going later, baby?” he asks.

the way he asked you made you want to tell him, only you have no idea as well.

jake’s hug get firmer as he slightly pulled you away from jay. “stop being nosy. she doesn’t know as well.”

“why are you even curious, jay?” this time sunghoon butts in as well. with a smirk on his face, of course.

“to gate crash to their date.” jay says as a joke.

you know he wouldn’t do that because they strictly agreed with each other to give privacy once its their turn. he really just wants to annoy jake since he came late a while ago.

“fuck you, jay.” jake blurted that made the smirk on sunghoon’s face grew wider.

“sounds like a good idea.” he says and even took a step closer.

“hey, that’s unfair!” jake complains and the other two acted like they didn’t hear him while plotting how they can ruin your date.

your hand caress jake’s arm that were wrapped on your waist. “shh, they won’t do it.” you tried calming him down.

you felt him relaxed from behind you, leaning in once again. his hot lips attached on your neck for a couple of seconds before he rests his chin back on your shoulder.

“they’re so annoying. we should’ve just ditched them completely, what do you think sweets?”

you chuckled and reached for his hair to card it using your fingers.

heeseung then arrives and his eyes automatically darted at you. he smiles and approaches, giving jay and sunghoon a short glance.

once close enough, he leans in and gave you a peck on the lips. “what’s up with them?”

“planning on how to ruin our date.” jake answered for you, sounding sulky already and he lets go of you to give his hyung a chance to talk you properly.

heeseung smirks, “should i join?” he whispers at you that made you shake your head side to side.

“don’t piss off jake.” you mumbled that made him chuckle.

“only because you asked me not to.” and leans again to give you soft kisses.

the five of you heads outside of the restaurant right after. jay didn’t leave jake alone easily and continued trying to piss him off. sunghoon kept on joining which made you smile and chuckle. they can really be so childish sometimes.

“i’ll see you on monday?” heeseung is now beside you, to say good bye. he doesn’t want to let you go yet, but he knew he needs to.

you smiled lovingly and wraps your arms around his waist. “i’ll see you on monday, hee.”

a big satisfied smile spreads across his handsome face. “i love you, angel. enjoy with jake for me, yeah?”

you nodded, “i love you, heeseung.”

he leans in to give you a peck and then steps aside so jay can bid you good bye as well. he was still playfully arguing with jake when he reaches for your waist.

“do you want to ditch him, baby?” he teases that made you smile.

you rest one of your hand on his chest, “you tease him enough, jongseong.”

he chuckles, “it was fun.”

he leans in for a kiss and made your noses rest against each other. “i love you, baby.”

“i love you, jay.” and you looked at him straight to his eyes.

it softens as he leans for another hearty kiss. you can hear jake’s side comments, but jay ignored all of them.

when he steps away, you already met sunghoon’s piercing eyes. you smiled softly and opens your arms for him. he walked closer, reaching for your arms to wrap it over his neck then rests his big hands on your hips.

“tomorrow...” he started. “you’re all mine.” he said under his breath that sent shivers to your spine. you felt thrill and excitement running down your veins.

“i’m all yours tomorrow, hoon.” nodding as you mumbled those words for him.

he nods and leans in carefully. he stares at your eyes first before kissing you on your lips.

“i love you, pretty.”

“i love you, sunghoon.”

he smiles and kisses your cheeks before finally letting jake hug you from behind. heeseung waves before getting inside his car. jay continues on teasing his friend while getting on his own vehicle and even sent a playful flying kiss at you that only made you chuckle. sunghoon grabs his helmet and put it on before he ride his motorbike.

“let’s go, sweets.” and jake guided you by pulling you on your waist.

he opens the car’s door for you before walking around to ride as well. he’s smiling so big, but you noticed that he’s a bit nervous.

“hey,” you tried catching his attention, even grabbing his hand that was reaching for the keys.

“yeah?” he asks.

“are you okay?”

jake glances at you and gulps. “just nervous.”

“about?”

“our date.” he sighs. “what if you end up not liking it? you obviously enjoyed the date with heeseung hyung and jay. what if—”

“hey, jakey..” you cut him off and cupped his face.

“as long as i’m with you, i will enjoy it. don’t feel pressured about it. let’s just have fun. okay?” you assured that obviously calmed down his nerves.

he licked his luscious lips before smiling, “yeah.” he says and leans in for a kiss on the lips.

jake is thankful for your kind, sincere words. but he can’t help but to mentally curse at himself. this isn’t the first time he took someone on a date, tho he must admit that this is the only time he pours his heart on planning for it. the first time he felt worried of what his date would think and feel about it.

he never knew the day where he will be nervous in something he thought he already mastered will come. maybe because it was you he’s with. he wanted to give you a good time, get to know you more and make this day memorable. afterall, this is the first date you two will have. first in the many more dates.

it is normal to feel nervous, right? specially that you’re very important for him.

he started driving and you sat there, silently admiring how he focuses on the road. glancing at you from time to time to kiss your hand and flash you those sweet smiles.

“you good there, sweets?” he asks gently while attractively turning the steering wheel, his arm flexes along with it.

“yep.” you shortly replied and kept on staring.

he nods and smirks.

“where are we going?” you curiously ask.

he glanced at you, “at my condo.”

you gave him a short nod and just went back on admiring him. the way his slightly long wavy hair is pushed back, compliments him so well. his pretty eyes that are surrounded by long, thick eyelashes. his pointy nose that looked more good on the side view and of course, his thick luscious lips. girls will give up anything just to have a chance to kiss those sinful lips of him.

you’ve heard endless talk about how jake is such a good kisser. the whole campus is probably aware of it. one even said ‘with the lips like his, he should really put it on a good use.’

you may be denial before, convincing yourself that it doesn’t bother you but deep down, you can feel a part of you aching out of jealousy. knowing how those same lips they’re desiring kisses you hungrily. a part of you wanted it for yourself only. selfish. that’s what you’ve becoming with jake sim.

he’s known for being the campus’ playboy. with his flirting skills that surely can make every girls fall down on their knees, there is no doubt that he can claim that title with no sweat.

and now, to know that you’ve got the playboy all wrapped up around your fingers sends shivers to your spine. stomach churns out of excitement. jake sim is whipped for you. he’s in love with you and he’s your boyfriend. yours.

“we’re almost there.” he says that snapped you back to reality.

you blinked a few times and roamed your eyes around. just now you’ve noticed that you’re about to enter an underground parking lot of a famous and private condominium building.

as expected, he have a place from an expensive building. his family is wealthy after all. he can have everything he wants at ease.

once parked, he glanced at you and smiled.

“why?” you let out a slight chuckle when you noticed him staring. he smirks and a hand reaches for your waist.

“nothing, i just can’t believe my girlfriend is so pretty.” he mumbled that pulls strings to your heart.

your eyes softens as you stare at him lovingly. your hand reaches for his face to pull it closer for a kiss.

“you’re prettier.” you whispered after giving him a peck on his lips.

his eyes flutters open, nose grazing yours. his gaze moves from your lips towards your eyes. you can feel his fingers digging to the skin of your waist.

“i doubt that.” and he swiftly pulls you over to his lap, crashing his lips on yours hungrily.

your lips laps his hardly as his hands held on your hips to guide them on grinding on his now erecting cock. the familiar sensation shutting down everything out from your worlds. suddenly, it was just you and him once again. nothing matters.

“ugh,” you moaned when you pull away to catch some breath.

jake kept his lips busy by moving it from your lips down to your chin then to your neck. sucking and claiming what’s his. you threw your head back, giving him more access while continuing to grind on top of him.

“jakey...” you moaned sensually when you can feel a knot approaching already. the way he guides your hips just feels so good.

his lips continued on kissing your neck then one of his hand left your hips to pull your top down, revealing your boobs.

“let me suck these babies.” he whispered huskily and dives in right away, putting one bud straight to his mouth.

“oh my—” you bit your lip out of pleasure. the way he sucks and moves his tongue around your nipple is sending you into blizz. its making you crazy.

“f-feel so,” you gulped, salivating. “good..” words coming out a little stretched. now, you’re starting to have a hard time talking because of what he’s doing to you.

if you’re feeling good, jake’s feels heaven. the way your moans sound so good and your body feels perfect for him is incomparable.

jake couldn’t help but bite your nipple slightly, making you yelp out of pain and pleasure.

“mine.” he growls before moving to your other breast as he guides you to move more intensely.

“i w-want you inside me, jake...” you blurted. the lust taking all over your head.

he gave your nipple one suck before letting it go to respond. “later, sweets.”

he smirks, “first, i want you to cum while griding desperately on my lap. come on, use me.” he whispers that tickles your ears.

you whimpered, but obliged. he guides your hands to rest on his shoulders for support while he sat his back on the car chair to give you a more comfortable position.

“show me how much you want me, sweets.” he smirks devilishly and you started to desperately grind on sim jaeyun. making him feel wanted and loved the way he was seeking for it.

“ugh,” you whimpered, brows furrowing hardly when you felt the intensity on your core. his dick is rock hard and jake’s fighting all the cells in him to pull his dick out and fuck you right there and then.

he wants you to take over this time. he wants you to cum on your own using him. using him in all ways just for you to reach your own orgasm. using him as he belongs to you.

“you look so damn pretty like this, sweetheart.” he compliments that just adds to your desperation. his soft yet lustful voice makes your core tingles.

“i’m c-close..” your voice so low, but he still manage to hear it.

he smirks and brushes your hair off your pretty face. “cum for me. release it all, sweets.” he kisses your ears and as you grind more, you felt the release coming much faster.

your body shakens above him as he chuckles sexily, cupping your face to pull it close for a kiss.

“good job, sweets. that’s my baby..” he whispers compliments as he lets you catch your breath and calm down from your orgasm.

“i love you.” he sincerely mumbled while showering your face with soft kisses. your eyes are tightly closed while resting above jake, enjoying his soft caress and sweet words.

after he managed to make you calm down, he smiled innocently and kissed your lips before helping you to fix yourself. the two of you then heads inside the building hand in hand, acting like you didn’t just desperately grind on top of this handsome guy beside you.

once arrived at his condo, you noticed that his place looked so calming. the way his furnitures are simple yet screams comfort makes it more sense that this flat belongs to jake. he does gives off a very comforting person. his friendly demeanor makes people instantly hooked to him.

“your place is so nice.” you commented with a smile while still roaming around.

he smiled widely as he removes his jacket, now leaving himself with his plain white shirt.

“really?” he asks and you nod. he walks closer and hugs you from behind.

“then consider this as your place too, sweets. i’m your boyfriend afterall.”

your heart felt full and you turn around to kiss his lips. “you’re so sweet.”

he chuckles and chase after your lips. couldn’t get enough of your lips.

“i bet you’re sweeter.” and then he suddenly carries you bridalstyle. you yelped and chuckled but got muffled when he crashes his lips on yours.

he walks towards the sofa set and rests you there. he pulled away slightly to look you in the eyes.

“let me show you how much i want you.” he stated before pushing you to lay on your back.

then he swiftly takes off your pants along with your underwear. he kisses your inner thighs as he opens it up for him to see you properly. your core still shines from your slicks because of the previous release.

“j-jakey..” you whispered and was about to close your legs out of embarrassment, but he was quick to pushed them back open.

“shh, keep them open for me sweets.” and he gave you a look that made you surrender helplessly.

“God, this is heaven.” he whispers while staring right at your core.

you felt so naked and despite the shyness, you can feel your insides screaming for him. wanting him to do whatever he wants to you.

jake places his hands on your thighs and gave you one glance before diving in to his meal. he gave your pussy one long lick that made you moan and shut your eyes tight.

“so sweet.” he says tasting your fresh release from a while ago. he smirks and kisses your clit once that made you twitch.

“open your eyes and watch me eat you, sweets.”

you pry your eyes open and tries so hard not to close them back. he then started eating you. flicking and sucking you down there with all his heart. he looked at you through his eyelashes and enjoys his view of your face contorting from so much pleasure.

you can feel his hot, long tongue doing all the sinful things on your core that makes you lose your mind. it felt so good. you pan your head in both direction while still trying to keep an eye contact.

“oh my gosh!!” you yelp while feeling the knot slowly forming on your stomach.

your thighs starts to close but jake’s there to hold them firmly. he attached his lips on your pussy, making out with it like his life is depended on it.

you taste so good that he couldn’t stop himself from putting his tongue inside your hole. silently thanking everything for such masterpiece.

after a few suck and licks, he felt your body vibrates and your head threw back. your eyes shut tightly as you release your sweet juices for jake. he lapped all of it, making sure none of it will come to waste.

he sucks all the juice and even licks your pussy clean of it. “taste so good for me.”

jake didn’t waste any time and while you’re still trying to recover, he discarded all of his clothes one by one. once totally naked, he kisses your lips heartily making sure you feel his affection and love along with his unstoppable lust for you.

he grabs your legs and placed it on his shoulder, “let me fuck you good, sweetheart.” he whispered on your lips.

“let me show you how much i love you.” and he started to enter your aching core. his dick so hard that you feel the stretch so well.

“o-oohh,” you moaned while watching how jake’s brows furrowed out of pleasure. your tight hole suffocating his dick so hard that it almost made him cum.

“so fucking tight.” he cursed, his accent so sexy.

he started rutting his dick inside of you. every pull in and out is felt by you. it was so good, felt like heaven. his lips searches for yours as he started to take his own phase. his tongue enters your mouth, desperately dancing along with your wet one.

“i love you so much, y/n.” he whispers your name with so much affection and care. like he doesn’t want to use it along with nonsense words that. it only pairs with meaningful ones.

“i...” you whimpered, “love you so much too, jakey.”

his heart beats grew stronger and faster. like its responding after hearing those words from you.

“i am so close.” he announced and even fucked you harder, reaching all your insides.

“m-me too...”

he kissed your cheeks hardly and even started biting them. he fucks you more desperately while biting your skin on your neck, adding to the pleasure you’re both too drowned into.

you’re starting to see stars the moment you let your release out. jake knew you cum already as it felt more slick inside, making it easier for his dick to slide in and out. making it more good.

“God, you’re so mine.” and his hand held your body tighter then starts to fuck you deeper.

“pussy so good.” he mumbled out of his mind, going crazy for being inside you so deep.

“damn, gonna cum inside you now sweetheart.” and his brows furrowed hardly as he burry his dick inside to shoot his hot cum in the depth of your pussy.

your body shaken, the feeling of his hot cum slowly filling you up just felt so good. he didn’t move an inch, making sure you are getting every drop of it.

jake stares at your pretty face and realize how down bad he is for you. how he can never see anybody else like the way his eyes sees you.

he dives in to connect his lips on yours. now slowly fucking in and out, dick hardening once again just by thinking the girl beneath him belongs to him. your heart beats syncing enough to let you know the words ‘i love yous’ that were unable to be said due to the clasped lips.

“where are we going, jaeyun?” you asked affectionately after he manages to fix your seatbelt.

after taking a shower together and ended up fucking there as well, you two fixed up to go on to your date. he prepared this cute sundress for you and you’re all confused because you thought that you two will be staying at the condo for the date. turns out he planned something else.

he smiles, “we’ll go on a picnic on our farm, sweets.”

you felt excited, “i love picnics!”

he chuckles and pinch your cheeks lightly, “i know. i remember you wrote that once in your english paper.”

you blinked twice, “really? how’d you remember that?”

he started the engine, “i’m just too crazy for you, that’s why.”

your heart melts and kisses his cheeks once as he started driving out from the building.

“when did you start liking me, jake?”

jake didn’t respond right away. he let his thoughts calm down as they slightly became messy in wanting to express how much he adores you.

“years ago.” his eyes flutters and cheeks turns slightly red, feeling shy now that you’re about to hear the story of sim jaeyun being completely in love with you.

your lips hangs slightly open after hearing it. after hearing about heeseung and jay, you shouldn’t be surprised anymore. but you can’t help it.

jake may seem to be the most who can’t keep his hands off of you from the start, but he’s also very flirty towards a lot of girls. its not hard to misunderstood it.

“b-but... how?”

he smiles, kissing your hand once while trying hard to focus on driving. his heart’s beating so loudly he swears you can hear it from your position.

“people always takes me as someone friendly. free spirited, chill guy who just goes along everything. that’s what they know about me.” he started and even tried clearing his throat. starting to feel nervous.

“but only my closest friends knew i was completely different when we were still kids.” he chuckles, being reminded by their old good days.

you stayed quiet, trying to listen to what he’s about to say.

“i’ve always have a bad temper. since i tend to get whatever i want instantly, i get so aggressive whenever things doesn’t go on my way. my ill temper causes me so much trouble back then. fights with other kids, getting punished by my parents for it. i was terrible.” he clicks his cheeks.

“i remember those judgmental eyes that watches me whenever i make scene. they’re terrified and most of the kids doesn’t want to play with me anymore after that. except from my friends tho, we’re tight.” he chuckles again, referring to heeseung and the other two guys.

“my parents told me that if i continue being like that, the time will come nobody will stay beside me. i will be lonely.” he gulps, and just for a short time you saw sadness and fear flickers through his eyes.

“and it may sound funny but that’s what i fear the most. to be lonely and to not feel loved.” he scoffed. even him, he find it hilarious.

“and so i learned to control it..” he stops then smiled bitterly, “more like hide it. i mastered faking my real emotions into my smiles and i got so good that people actually started to feel more at ease around me. the terrible, bad kid jaeyun all forgotten.”

you bit your lip and caress his arm slightly.

“but of course, nobody is perfect. there’s this one time that i lose control. my patience runs out and i was in a big fight with another guy at the soccer team. he was pushing my buttons and taking my kindness into granted. i got enough of it and ends up beating him up. once again, i was stared at by familiar terrified eyes around me.” he lets out a heavy sigh, trying to calm himself.

“i remember going to the small garden at the back building. students doesn’t usually go there since its a bit far from the main buildings. i thought i can have time alone to calm myself while my friends tried to resolve the mess that i just created.”

you leaned in and place a kiss on his arm. a memory slowly coming back to you. a young boy wearing a ruined soccer uniform. from a far, you can already see some red spots over it. his knuckles bruised as he continues punching on the clean white wall.

“i was going mad. losing it all while hitting the wall nonstop when somebody stops me.” his eyes softens, face slowly clearing.

“she was so brave to interrupt someone going rage.” he chuckles, finding it cute. “i stopped not because she asked me to, but because i was so ready to divert my wrath on her.”

he glances at you, “not until i saw her sweet pretty face. eyes looking so worried for me. the type of gaze that i’ve never seen whenever i’m going mad.”

“that’s the first time you saw me?” you asked.

he shakes his head. “nah. sunghoon is crazy for you and heeseung hyung is head over heels for you. they don’t stop talking about you. how can i not know you?” he scoffs.

you blushed, knowing that heeseung and sunghoon liked you first.

“i always find you pretty but i couldn’t understand it yet. and after that day i just found myself searching for you. not because my friends are looking for you, but because i want to see you.” he chuckles.

“your eyes kept on flashing back to my mind. those soft stares you gave me that day hit me like a fucking train, sweets. i started to look for it. i started to want you looking at me that way all the time.” and jake’s heart warms up when he glanced at you, meeting with the same pretty eyes that he fell in love with back then.

“jake, you’re the softest and warmest person i know. having that bad temper didn’t make me think less of you.”

he smiled warmly, then turned into an evil smile afterwards. “i know. that’s why i started obsessing over you.”

you rolled your eyes while smiling. “i’m serious, jakey. you don’t have to hide what you really feel. i love you.”

he smiled, this time a proud one. “i’m serious too, sweetheart. i am obsessed and i love you very much.”

you chuckled and leaned in for a quick kiss before he resumed focusing on driving.

“before we head there, we’ll stop by somewhere. is that fine?”

“yeah, totally.” you’re in a very good mood today.

the drive to the place he was saying was just short. he parks in front of a small commercial building. the two of you went inside a pet salon.

you’re just silent while he’s holding your hand.

“jake!” one guy from the store greets him once noticed.

jake nodded, “hey, dude. is she ready?” he asks and you remain silent, still have no clue to why you two are here.

the man nodded after glancing at you once.

“girlfriend?” he asked with a teasing smile.

jake chuckles and kisses your hand with a big proud smile. “yes. the one and only.”

the man laughs, “nice to meet you. this is the first time jake introduced a girl to me.” he said that made you blush.

“where is she?” jake asked once done with the introduction.

the man asked another staff to get something. you waited for a few moments and suddenly a big cute dog came rushing towards jake. he lets go of your hand to kneel and greets it with all smiles.

“hi baby,” he greets and chuckles sexily.

the view of jake being this gentle over the dog caress something in your heart. he looked so happy and pure like this. it makes you smile happily as well.

the dog’s tail wags uncontrollably, showing how happy she is to see jake.

he laughs then looks up on you then glances back to the dog, now caressing her gently.

“sweets, this is layla.” he smiles. “layla, meet your momma.”

“daddy loves her so much so you got to love her as well.” he added that almost made you tear up.

you kneeled to greet layla as well, jake helping you to not overwhelm her. after a few sniffs and stroking, she warms up and suddenly wants to be pet by you.

jake thanked the man before bidding good bye, guiding you two back on the car together with layla.

“we’re going to our first family trip. whose excited?” jake screams.

you chuckled while petting layla as you and jake raises your hand, layla barking along that made you two let out a hearty laugh.

permanent tag-list:

@stacey-stonem @tunafishyfishylike @love4hee

tag-list:

@shawnyle @baekxo07 @parksunghoonsgf @skzenhalove @shanb1n @kaykay11sworld @starfallia @blank-velvet @nctislifue @avaleyshin @kpopslays @jooniesbears-blog @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @d-dilemma @pinksweetlittlepiano @sweetjaemss @yangwonx1 @jenniepaii @jakeswsh @brii-sunwoos-version @luvsjwonn @arimiu @sleepingisweak @ninalove323 @bluej4ym @kk-kitten @leesura @oceanyocean @holyfestfire @hooniebaekgu @nikiswifiee @shjsnjkj @loumin908 @nikistar @renne-s2 @pinksweetlittlepiano @srhnyx @farashawhee @iilwji @leov3rse @enhajungwonheart @namjooniecuteboy @realrintaro @kkamismom12 @roslayy @m3wkledreamy @a-warners-girl0-0 @cherrykissesu

[domoriu]

Pookie bear if you ever get the time can you recommend your favorite fics that you’ve read🙏🏿

oh i love this question… also just a warning its 95% haechan and mark lee fics 😭 i can do another part to this too if yall want 🤫 maybe with like bnd fics ? or enhypen or something idk just lmk

kiwis fic recs !!

pussy fiend - haechan // u guys dont even understand how much i love this fic. its been 2 and a half years and im still here. like i re read it every other month. i remember exactly where i was when i read it too. like oh my god its so fucking good 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 domjaehyun you will always be famous to me please dont ever die

real talk - mark // wow. 5 stars no notes. yes.

risk it all - haechan // mhmmm 😋😋

kiss you right now - mark // also super good… like wowie….

sure thing - haechan // yeah… yeah. 😭

my words, your thoughts - haechan // so beautifully written omg… like i honestly forgot there would even be smut at the end cuz i was so invested in the story its just so good. i re read it recently and just yeah.

first love - soobin // SUCH A GOOD SERIES i loved reading this so much when it came out i still re read it sometimes… tooooooo good

mine too - haechan ft. jaehyun // really good… recently re read it and its still so good…

untitled - markhyuck // my two ults. yes. so good. fantastic give me 14 of them right now.

the boy - sunwoo // ONE OF MY FAVORITES. LITERALLY SO GOOD AND JUST UGH. LIKE RHE BUILDUP TO THEM GETTING TOGETHER. YES.

cream of the crop - changkyun // i dont usually read for monsta x but this fic has had me in a chokehold for YEARS it still does like i dont play about this fic oh my god… please

gelato - mark // the yearning… yes… like oh yeah. just yeah.

i definitely have a lot more…. literally just scroll through @haechanfart where i reblog a lot of my favorites (its mainly haechan and mark lee but theres like 4 enhypen fics in there from like 2022 if you scroll down enough 😭)

[nereidprinc3ss]

do you believe me now? | 4

in which spencer reid and inexperienced fem!reader are interrupted at the most inopportune of times. he calls you on the first night of his case. dirty talk turns into a hard conversation. we get a glimpse into spencer's past, and we finally learn why he's so hesitant to sleep with you.

series masterlist

18+ (smut) warnings/tags: dirty talk, phone sex/mutual masturbation, softdom!spence, obligatory he talks u through it, lots of graphic discussions of sex, established relationship, angst (sorrryyy!) a/n: so remember how i said you'd need the bonus chapter to fully appreciate/understand this part? i was wrong!! it will come in handy probably in the next part tho:) also idk how these parts keep getting so long im sorry! anyway, i love you all so bad. thank you for bearing w/ my craziness. PLEASE let me know your thoughts on this part!! i adore hearing from you!! kisses

(also special thank you to @fliesforeyes who convinced me phone sex w/ spence could be done!! i will link his phone sex blurb here :)) thank u binx!!

“Three million six hundred eighty four thousand three hundred thirty two times fourteen million seven hundred sixty one thousand nine hundred seventy one.”

You’ve lost count of how many stupid math questions you’ve asked your human calculator boyfriend, just to see if he can actually do them. Spencer is silent for a second, and you think you’ve finally stumped him. 

“That one is complicated.”

You sit bolt upright in his bed, looking down at him and pointing an accusatory finger. His brows raise at the manic look in your eye. 

“You don’t know.”

“I do know. I meant it would be hard to explain if you aren’t a math person.”

“Bullshit!” You scoff, “you don’t know!”

“It would display on a calculator as five-point-three-eight-eight-E-thirteen. It’s a really big number.”

“Oh, really big, huh?” you mumble, searching for your phone blindly in the sheets and scrambling to open the calculator app. “Um… what numbers did I say?”

Spencer repeats them back to you and you press the equals sign. 

You look at it. 

And then you set your phone down. 

“I was right, huh?” he smiles up at you, probably reveling in your pouty wrongness. 

Too proud to admit it, you collapse on top of him, burying your face in his shoulder. 

“I don’t like this game anymore. What the fuck even is an e? Why are we doing algebra?”

Spencer laughs, brushing your hair aside. 

“The e stands for exponent. It’s to the power of ten.”

“Ever heard of a rhetorical question?”

“Yes, I have.”

It’s hard not to snort even at his dumbest jokes. 

“You’re annoying. Let’s do something else.”

You roll over onto your back again, letting your head flop over to look at Spencer, whose hair is exactly the right amount of messy after a long day, falling in impossibly soft waves over the perfect lines and contours of his face. Despite lounging, he’s still in his suit from work—he’d left Quantico and immediately picked you up. There were no solid plans for the evening, so after both of you pretended that you wanted to go out for a while, you ended up back at his apartment. 

He looks good. Almost too good. 

“Something like what?” he smiles lazily, reaching over and tracing his fingers over your cheek. 

“Something… naked?”

His grin widens and he shakes his head. 

“Me naked or you naked?”

Pretending to think about it, you roll your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“Mm… why not both?”

“Hm. Why do I feel like I know where this is going?”

The mattress sinks underneath your elbow as you prop yourself up, dropping your head over Spencer’s to kiss him. 

“Because you’re so smart, and you think it’s a great idea.”

He entertains your kiss for a moment. Just a moment.

“You sound sure of yourself.”

“Because I am!” You finally give in to your impulses, tangling your fingers in his hair and looking at him meaningfully. “It doesn’t make any sense for us to have not had sex. I don’t care about any of your weird, cryptic moral reasoning.”

He grabs your wrist carefully. 

“It is not moral,” he scoffs. “We haven’t even talked about it yet.”

“Really? Because I feel like we’ve talked about it a lot.” 

He begins to reply, but you realize you don’t want to get into a debate over whether you’ve technically talked about it yet. “I don’t even care! If that’s all that’s standing in your way, then let’s talk about it. Right now.”

Spencer sighs, his eyes darting between yours as he reaches up to cradle your cheek. 

“Fine. But I have things to say you’re not going to like.”

“So business as usual?”

He rolls his eyes. You allow yourself a tiny self-satisfied smirk, forever relishing in his poorly-hidden soft spot for your constant teasing. Spencer ignores this. Which is probably for the best. 

“I know you probably won’t see it this way, but—sex is different than everything else we’ve done so far. It can be really fun, obviously it feels good, it facilitates deeper feelings of connection—that’s all true. Which is why, in my opinion, it’s incredibly important that you be selective with who you sleep with. Because it’s so easy to do something you regret, and sex is vulnerable. It should always be with someone you trust and—and… care about.”

A pink flush stains his cheeks like watercolor as he stumbles over the last few words. It makes your heart flutter against the confines of your chest.

Maybe best not to think about the absence versus presence of certain four-letter words and what they may or may not mean. You’ll move on to more pressing matters and pretend like it doesn’t ache just a little in your whole body. 

You cover his hand with your own. 

“Are you going to break up with me anytime soon?”

Spencer’s eyes widen, filling with genuine horror and confusion. 

“What? No!”

“Are you going to cheat on me?”

“Absolutely not, I—”

“Then I’m not going to regret it. Issue resolved. Moving on.”

“Honey, I just want you to be 100% sure that I’m what you want.”

“Oh my god,” you groan, flopping onto your back once more. “I have begged you to sleep with me on multiple occasions. We have been dating for months and I liked you even longer before that. I think about it literally every time I see you. I don’t know how to be any surer.”

It’s quiet for a moment as you study the imaginary pattern on the ceiling. The rebuttal you’d been anticipating doesn’t come—instead, the mattress shifts next to you. Spencer enters your field of vision, now leaning over you with a little smile on his face that gives you butterflies. 

“Every time?”

“…yes, every time,” you agree, voice considerably thinner than it had been a moment ago. Spencer glances at your lips as he speaks. 

“Interesting. And what is it that you think about exactly?”

You groan again, attempting to roll facedown, but he pins your shoulder to the bed. The way he’s sweetly kissing down your cheek and jaw is infuriating because you know it’s a false pretense. 

“Ugh, I don’t know! Don’t make me answer that!”

“You said if talking about it was all that was standing in my way, we would talk about it. Now I want to talk about it. Come on,” he says, voice low and cloying against your throat as he attempts to tease the answer out of you. “Tell me what you think about when you think about us having sex.”

You let out a shaky breath at the feeling of his lips skimming your neck, hating how easily he can reduce you to this. 

“I… I always wonder what it will feel like. Sometimes I wonder if it will hurt.”

Spencer sighs, interrogation by way of seduction momentarily forgotten. You silently curse yourself for saying something so un-sexy. 

“It might, sweetheart. That’s one of the reasons we’ve held back. I… really don’t want to hurt you. I don’t even know if I can.”

You grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at you with more confidence than you feel. 

“Sometimes I worry about it, too. But I like you a lot more than it scares me. I still want to.”

He kisses your palm. 

“You’ll be okay. It doesn’t hurt for everyone, and even if it does, you’re resilient.”

“Exactly. So you have to get over yourself.”

Spencer laughs like he wasn’t expecting to, eyes sparkling as he regards you.  

“Yeah. Yeah, maybe I do.”

He’s smiling again as he leans down and kisses you—a slow, lingering thing which tastes like spearmint as you part your lips for him. 

“Please?” you whisper against him after a long moment. He hums, keeps kissing you. 

“What is it that you think you want? You don’t even know what you’re asking for.”

“Tell me,” you beg, chasing his lips. “Tell me what you’re going to do with me. We can talk about it. This is talking about it.”

Spencer exhales deeply, wedging a thigh between yours. Immediately you clamp around it, trying not to grind against him too overtly. 

“You want to know what I’d do to you?”

“Yes—” you paw at his jacket. Surprisingly, he doesn’t stop you from pushing it off. Your heart pounds. 

“Well… we both know how anxious you get,” he muses, pressing his lips so delicately to your fluttering pulse-point in emphasis, and then back to your mouth. His thigh pushes harder against you to supplant the absence of his lips as he speaks, though he kisses you sporadically and between sentences. “You’re hard to get out of your head when you’re nervous, you know that? I watch it happen. One minute you’re with me, and then you start overthinking, and getting self-conscious. The only thing that seems to relax you is letting me touch you—so first I would touch you like I’ve touched you before. I’d make sure you know how pretty you are and how good you deserve to feel.” You whimper inadvertently at his words, arching into him and grinding against his leg as he pauses to kiss the sensitive soft spot below your jaw. “You’re going to need to be really ready to let me in. Do you know what I mean by that?”

As he asks, he pushes his thigh against you harder. Your body responds immediately, arching into him and seeking more friction. When you squeak, he takes it as a no. 

“I mean I need you relaxed and wet. You’ll excuse my crude language.”

You pull at his tie, breathing heavier now and so turned on it’s almost painful. 

“What are you gonna do after that?”

“What else is there to do but fuck you after that?” he breathes. “You want me to tell you how I’d fuck you?”

Something about it makes you whine salaciously. You’ve heard him curse—you’ve even heard him talk about fucking you. But it feels more real now; when it’s low in your ear and you’re covertly undressing him and he’s pushing your shirt over your stomach promisingly. 

“Yes, please.” 

He hums against your jaw, nipping and brushing his lips over the skin as he considers. Leaves you waiting. 

“I would have to take my time with you. You’ll be overwhelmed. I know you think you won’t, but you will. I’m going to have to be so, so careful with you, angel. It’s going to drive me insane. But it will feel good for you.”

“Why careful? I don’t want that.”

He chuckles. A chill runs down your spine. 

“Yeah, you do. You’re going to want me to be careful when I’m—” he pauses, pressing his thumb to your bare lower tummy and dragging up to a spot below your belly button. He presses down lightly again. “Right here. Approximately.”

The surface of the sun has nothing on the temperature of your skin in this moment, as you writhe underneath him in both arousal and embarrassment. Mostly, burning need. You feel almost sick with it. 

“Please don’t make me wait anymore. Just do it, please, Spencer. I need it to be you, I don’t want it to be anyone else. I promise I’m ready.”

It’s silent for a moment. Your heart quickens. You sense his walls wearing away, his instinct to keep you intact for god knows what reason crumbling. He’s finally going to give you what you’ve been begging for. 

Spencer opens his mouth, eyes glimmering—

And then his phone rings. 

You both freeze—he melts dejectedly before you do, more accustomed to an ill-timed phone call and realizing the finality it can present. 

He’s breathing heavily against your neck, as if maybe whoever it is will just hang up. But the phone keeps ringing. 

“I’m sorry.”

Your stomach sinks as he sits up, grabbing his phone from the side table and rubbing circles on your inner thigh as he answers.

“This is Reid,” he says, lackluster. 

If you wanted, you could hear what Penelope is saying—but you don’t bother listening. It’s going to be a case. Spencer is about to leave. The details are his problem. 

“Okay. I’ll be there in an hour.”

He hangs up, tossing the phone onto the mattress and not speaking for a moment, just continuing to rub your leg apologetically. Watching you almost mournfully—taking in your disheveled hair, your likely blown-out pupils, the shirt pushed almost over your chest. 

“I have to go right now,” he finally manages with a heavy sigh, gently pulling your shirt back into place. 

You sit up, shedding all the hopes that had been building for the evening, and try to sound chipper—though all you feel is bitter disappointment that goes deeper than you understand. 

“I know. Go ahead, I can get a cab home.”

He frowns, running his hand over the back of your hair. 

“I don’t love the idea of you standing on the sidewalk waiting for a car in this part of town so late. Do you just want to stay here for the night and go home tomorrow?”

You force a smile. Great. So you’ll be spending the night in his bed after all—just without him. 

“Sure. Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of you are feeling particularly grateful. 

Soon you’re walking him to his own door. Both of you come to a stop in front. 

“I’m sorry,” he sighs again. 

“Spencer, it’s fine. It’s your job. You don’t need to apologize. You were very clear about this part when we started dating.”

“I know, but… it’s easier in theory than in practice.”

You smile. If Spencer is a reflection of you, it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. His hair is still messy from your fingers running through it and he’s missing his tie. You hope all his coworkers see and feel bad about taking him away from you. 

But it’s not their fault. You just want someone to blame. 

Instead you mould yourself to his body, wrapping around him like you belong there. He returns your embrace, pressing his lips into the crook of your shoulder and rubbing your back in that way he always does with you. 

In that moment, your affection for him becomes so profound it’s like a chemical reaction—everywhere he touches burns and you love him so fucking much it aches in every inch of your body the way your muscles do when you have a bad fever. Love is the most terrible of afflictions, you realize. It is a fever dream. It’s every fiber of your being screaming to tell him how you feel, to beg him on your knees not to go because you love him like a child loves a parent or a bee loves honeysuckle or the ocean loves the horizon. Pared down to your most basic components, the barest version of yourself, you require him. Your soul needs his soul. 

“Spencer?”

“Hm?” 

It’s nothing more than an absentminded hum against your skin. 

“I…”

Should you be looking him in the eye when you say this? Should you say it right before he has to leave? Just because you say it doesn’t change the fact that he’s about to be gone for several long days. Maybe this is a terrible time to admit something that suddenly feels so true and so consequential. 

He senses your internal conflict, pulling back despite your resistance and holding your face between his hands. 

“You what?” He murmurs, soft eyes bouncing back and forth between your own. Fuck—you feel so observed, now. Like he can read your mind. 

“I forget.”

FUUUUUUCK. 

Spencer blinks. Processes. You watch the disbelief crystallizing over his eyes like ice freezing over a lake. 

He knows. 

He knows you didn’t forget, and he probably knows what you were going to say, and he’s going to tell himself he was wrong to spare your dignity. 

Everything hurts when he kisses you. You wonder what regret tastes like. 

“Well, let me know if you remember.”

It’s too gentle and at the same time he can’t hide the edge with all the tenderness in the world. You nod as if in a trance, already looking forward to dissociating as you lie in bed and stare at the dark ceiling.

Two small goodbyes are exchanged, slightly stifled now, as if shared between drunk strangers who have sobered up and are mutually embarrassed about how candidly they’d interacted before. 

You close the door behind him, doing up all the locks, and meticulously flick every light switch in the apartment off before climbing into his bed—though you don’t really feel like you deserve to be there anymore.

But perhaps this is all an overreaction. It’s not like you owe it to him to say I love you, or anything—it was bad timing, anyway. And why can’t he say it? In fact, why hasn’t he said it? 

Maybe you have it all wrong. 

Maybe he doesn’t feel that way about you. 

You fall asleep before you allow these questions to make you sick. 

24 hours go by. 

24 hours go by and you really had meant to leave his apartment—it was just that you woke up late, and your phone was dead so you couldn’t call a car, so you charged it while you made breakfast, and then you ate, and then you decided to take a shower and wash your clothes, and then it was two in the afternoon and you hadn’t left yet and you decided to walk to the store and replenish the groceries you’d used up. 

Maybe you got a bit distracted looking at flowers and other beautiful things at the market and by the time you got home it was 5:00, so you decided to wait until seven to skip rush hour. And then eight, just to be sure. 

Before you know it, it’s midnight, and you’re dozing off in his bed again (teeth cleaned with the brush you’d bought at the store—maybe this whole situation hadn’t been entirely unwitting on your part.)

Throughout the day, you tried to let all your anxiety about the previous night melt away. If it’s something that needs to be addressed, Spencer will address it. Everything will work out in the end. That thought is how you’re able to doze off. 

You’re almost asleep when your phone lights up and begins buzzing on the side table. You wince as your eyes open, not adjusting well to the harsh bright display and unable to discern who’s even calling you at this hour. Stupidly, probably because you’re half asleep, you answer without checking. 

“Hello?”

Your voice is groggy, quiet with sleep. 

“Shit, did I wake you?”

“Spence?” you whisper, stomach flipping at the sound of his voice on the other line. You feel caught, still sleeping in his bed. 

“… yeah,” he chuckles. “Did you not check who was calling before you picked up?”

“I was asleep,” you pout. “Kinda.”

“Okay. Go back to sleep, honey. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

You sit bolt upright, phone balanced between tense fingers and speaking directly into the microphone. 

“No! No, I’m awake. What’s up? Why did you call?”

A longer stretch of silence—you’re too sleepy to comprehend what it might mean, though never too sleepy to worry about it. With a pang of pain, you recall your strange goodbye, the words you hadn’t said. 

“I just needed to hear your voice,” he sighs. You frown, staring at nothing in particular in the pitch black room. 

“Oh. Is everything okay?”

“As much as it can be.”

“Right.”

More quiet. You chew on the inside of your cheek, stricken with a sudden feeling of awkwardness that you haven’t had with Spencer in a while. 

“I’m sorry… I don’t really know what to say.”

“That’s okay,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice which makes you feel a bit better, “why don’t you tell me about your day? Or you can absolutely go back to sleep, if you’re too tired.”

“Don’t ask me about my day,” you whisper, flopping down on the bed once more. Shame seeps into your voice. He laughs. 

“What? Why?”

“Because if I tell you you’re going to think I’m super weird and you’re going to break up with me.”

Laughter tapers off into gentler tones. 

“I already think you’re super weird. It’s actually one of your most attractive qualities.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks. 

“But it’s like… borderline crazy.”

Immediately, he replies, “for better or worse, I also frequently find myself attracted to crazy.”

“Thank you for calling me crazy and super weird,” you grumble. 

“I also called you attractive twice. Tell me.”

When his tone takes on that easy, assertive quality, and it’s sort of raspy and low because it’s late and he’s been talking all day, and you can hear the lazy smile on his face—you imagine him laying on his hotel bed, arm slung over his eyes in the dark as he grins into the microphone—you have a very difficult time saying no. 

“Fine. Guess where I am right now.”

“Um, I would hope you’re in bed?”

You smile to yourself, basking in the victory of successfully throwing him off his game even slightly. 

“Guess whose bed.”

Silence. 

“What an interesting question.” That cocky smile, the low drawling is back, and you chew on your lip, ignoring the shiver that runs down your spine. “If it’s not mine or yours, we’re going to have issues.”

“But if it is yours? You’re not going to call the police on me?”

“Why would I call the police? To tell them there’s a pretty girl in my bed and I don’t want her there?”

“To tell them your psychopathic girlfriend broke into your apartment and might be holding hostages there.”

Spencer laughs; a brittle, drawn out thing, flat and quiet as the desert.

“If you were a psychopath, calling the cops would be a waste of time. I would handle you myself.” The idea of being handled has your thighs clenching. “But—yeah, don’t invite anyone else in.” More humor finds its way into his voice, momentarily relieving some tension that had sneakily begun to build. “Having people in my space makes me anxious.”

“But not me?” Your whisper is half flirtatious, half insecure. Spencer’s reply is soft, as if he’s picking up on this from hundreds of miles away.

“No, not you. You are always the exception.”

“Good,” you say, cheeks aching as you half-bury your warm face into his pillow. “Because I made myself really comfortable. You have a nice shower, by the way.”

Spencer groans. 

“You’re killing me.”

“What? What did I do!”

“Don’t talk to me about my bed and my shower. I might start to think you’re intentionally being a brat.”

“You asked me about my day! I’m just telling you what I did!”

But you’re also intentional teasing him for sure.  After a pause, he sighs in defeat. 

“You’re right. I did do that. Tell me what else happened.”

“Well,” you begin, all too eager, “I had to put my clothes in the dryer after I got out, so I borrowed some of yours. But then they were way comfier than mine, so after I went to the store I put them back on, and—”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?” you frown. 

“Tell me what this is.”

“I—I don’t know what you mean.”

Lying to a profiler is usually pointless. 

“I’m not stupid, sweetheart. Tell me why you keep talking about my shower and my bed and my clothes.”

Caught red-handed. Your skin heats up. 

“I don’t know. I miss you.”

He hums in a way that blurs the line between sympathetic and patronizing. Even through the phone you can feel the bass of it in your bones.  It changes the frequency you’re vibrating at. It’s hypnotic. 

“But that’s not really why you’re being intentionally provocative, is it?”

“No,” you admit quietly. “I’m still upset you had to go last night.”

“So you’re frustrated and you’re taking it out on me?”

Your brow furrows. Well, when he puts it like that…

“I’m not taking anything out on you.”

“I think you are. And I don’t appreciate that, because I’m on your side, honey. Do you think I prefer being in a hotel bed by myself or being in my bed with you?”

Somehow, he makes you feel like a scolded child. But he makes it appealing in ways you don’t understand. 

“Your bed with me,” you murmur, skin prickling with the coldness of his absence even as you curl under the blanket. 

“Right. So why don’t you tell me what I can do for you right now, instead of punishing me for things that are beyond my control?”

“I wasn’t punishing you,” you mutter. 

“No? You weren’t intentionally talking about using my shower and sleeping in my bed and putting on my clothes so that I’d have to think about what I can’t have right now?”

“I—”

“Believe me when I tell you I have been thinking about what I can’t have, all day. Your efforts are entirely redundant and you can’t say anything about yourself that is even close to as dirty as the frankly disrespectful thoughts I’ve been having about you for seventeen hours.”

The lack of air is making you so dizzy your vision goes gray at the edges. 

“What… what thoughts?”

“None that you need to concern yourself with.”

“You can’t just say something like that and then not tell me!” you insist. He’s obviously giving you a taste of your own medicine and it’s fair but it doesn’t mean you have to like it. 

“I can do whatever I want,” Spencer corrects cooly in a way that pisses you off beyond belief because he’s right. It triggers some adolescent immaturity within you—a desire to get back at him, so to speak. He wants intentionally provocative? He can have it. 

“Fine. Then so can I. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it even if I could.”

“Spencer,” you warn. “If you don’t tell me what you were thinking I’m gonna—” you look around the room for ammo. “I’m gonna look through your nightstand!”

“Go ahead. I’ll warn you, it’s not very interesting.”

“Sounds like what someone who has something hide would say,” you mumble, crawling across the mattress through tangled sheets and using your phone flashlight to open the drawer. 

Spencer is patient and silent as you take in its contents—a small blue leather-bound notebook (full of what looks like Russian), a fountain pen, a glasses case, various kinds of vitamins, and—

“Spencer Reid,” you say, dragging out his name and pretending nothing is fluttering in your stomach, “what are these?”

“I don’t know. I can’t see what you’re referring to.”

“Take a wild guess.”

“Oh, I have one. But I’d like to hear you say it.”

You realize you may have gotten yourself in deeper than you meant to by going through his stuff. Well—they don’t say karma is a bitch for nothing. 

“What are you doing with a box of condoms?” 

He chuckles and you feel it in your whole body, warm as you stretch across his mattress and eye the box like it might jump out at you. 

“Those are years old. I’ve used three since I bought them.”

“Don’t tell me that,” you whine. “I don’t wanna think about all the other women you’ve seduced.”

“You wanted them to be for you, huh?” 

You flush. Honestly you hadn’t even thought about that. 

“I… I don’t know. I kind of just assumed…”

It’s silent for a second and you frown, realizing you hadn’t even considered protection when you’d imagined sleeping with him before. 

“You assumed what, honey?” he asks, voice soft. 

“It’s dumb. I can’t tell you.”

“You can tell me anything. I’m not going to think it’s dumb, I promise.”

You chew on your lip, letting your eyes unfocus on the box as you muster the courage to be honest. 

“Whenever I imagined it… we didn’t… use anything.”

The words make you cringe even as you’re saying them. So does the quiet that follows. 

“When you imagine us sleeping together, we don’t use a condom?”

“Ah!” The phone drops to the mattress as you cover your ears and roll onto your side, curling into yourself once more. “You didn’t have to say it! You make me sound so weird!”

“It’s not weird,” he laughs, because he can probably imagine exactly what you just did, “I just wanted to make sure I was understanding you. That said… we would definitely use protection.”

“Do we have to?”

The quiet words take even you by surprise—and they seem to stun Spencer as well. Several false starts are punctuated by a sigh as he gathers his thoughts. 

“We really should, baby. That’s the kind of thing we need to take seriously.”

“But you’re… you’re good, right?”

Thankfully he picks up on your meaning. 

“I am. I wouldn’t touch you if I weren’t.”

“And I’m good. So...”

“Hm. And has anyone ever explained to you where babies come from?”

You groan in frustration. 

“Spencer, I’m being serious! There are ways to negate that.”

“Honey,” he murmurs, “I understand that. But it would be irresponsible of me to say yes. We can talk about it in the future, but—”

“I’m telling you it’s already dealt with. The chances of an accidental pregnancy are slim to none.”

The new information hangs in the air for a moment until Spencer speaks—to your surprise, his voice is low and humorous. 

“That is… good to know. But even so—I’m setting a dangerous precedent if I always let you get exactly what you want.”

“Is it such a bad thing that I just wanna—I wanna know what it feels like? You don’t want that?”

“That’s not what I said. I want to know exactly what you feel like. I’m just hesitant to give in so quickly because it makes me look weak.”

You laugh breathlessly, caught between being turned on by the first part of his sentence and amused by the sarcastic second half. Your thighs clench and your hand absentmindedly wanders between them. 

“You know what I was thinking about?” you ask. Spencer hums curiously. “I was thinking about when you let me, um… when you let me touch you how you touch me.” He hums again, but you can hear the amused curve of a smile in it now.

“When you had your mouth all full of me and you looked so pretty?”

“When I—yeah,” you agree, too caught up to deny his compliment as your fingers brush your most sensitive spot through clothing. “And  how you got me all messy after. And I was wondering what it would feel like… inside me.”

He sucks in a breath. Your legs brush against each other and you twist slightly as you pretend like you’re not touching yourself just a little bit. 

“You want me to come inside you?”

“Yeah,” you whisper, brain short-circuiting at the way those words sound in his voice. 

—

On the other side of the line, Spencer isn’t doing a fantastic job of thinking clearly either. His dick is half-hard already and it’s only getting worse with each little noise you make that you don’t seem to realize you’re making. 

“Really? That would be very messy, baby. I’m surprised that’s what you want.”

“But I really want it,” you breathe. He’s not even looking as he slips his hand under the waistband of his pajamas and palms himself, his other hand rubbing tiredly over his face as his phone rests on his chest. This was not how he intended for this call to go, believe it or not—but he’s here now. 

“Yeah? Is that why you’re touching yourself right now?”

You go silent—which is more or less exactly the reaction Spencer had been expecting. Patiently he waits for you to deny it, in three, two—

“’M not.”

Now, he could explain how he knows that’s a lie. How your breathing pattern changed, and your voice got softer and airier, and how you started speaking with smaller words in fragmented sentences. But he doesn’t feel like explaining any of that. 

“I know that’s not true,” he murmurs. “You know what? It wasn’t fair to get you all worked up last night and then leave. I don’t want you frustrated, honey. I want you to do whatever you need to do.”

You make a little gasping noise, and Spencer can imagine the way your back would arch when you did it. His own hips buck slightly as his dick twitches under his fingers. 

“Where are you touching?”

“Um—over my clothes.”

Cute. 

“Go under them for me. Tell me how it feels when you’re touching yourself like that.”

It takes a moment, in which all he hears is the rustling of fabric, until you’re whispering, “feels… it feels good. I wish you were here.”

He inhales, freeing his cock and squeezing the base. 

“I know. Just listen to my voice, pretty. I’m right here.”

Spencer allows himself a few slow tugs as he imagines what’s happening in his bed. You make a squeaking noise, like a held-back moan, and his eyes screw shut. 

“I need them inside,” you whine, and he knows you’re referring to his fingers—the ones currently stroking his own leaking cock. 

“You can use your own, just give yourself a minute first. Remember what I said about needing to be ready?”

“I am ready—” judging by the surprised chirp you interrupt yourself with, you’ve proven yourself right. What surprises Spencer is the weak sound of disappointment you make next. “Spence, it doesn’t feel the same.”

“We’re different sizes, honey. Your hands aren’t as big as mine. But you can still make it feel good.” 

He almost says, 90% of the nerves in the vaginal canal are located in the lower third—in other words, within approximately 2.36 inches from the opening, which you can most certainly reach—but he refrains. He’s not sure if that’s good dirty talk. 

“You have a really sensitive spot about three inches up, right in front. It’s going to feel a little different than the rest of you when you touch it. I want you to try and find it for me, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathe, ever-eager to please even from a great distance. There’s a quiet moment. “I can’t—I don’t think I can r—oh,”

The moan is so pretty Spencer can’t help speeding up the motion of his hand, hissing slightly as his fingers brush against the angry tip with every pump. 

“Did you find it?”

“Yeah,” you whine, a weak, high-pitched thing. “Oh my god.”

“Be gentle,” he warns with some effort as his own hips jump slightly. “You’re really sensitive there. If you’re not careful you’ll make yourself sore.”

“I don’t care—holy shit—” the way your voice rises and tightens to a squeak at the end has Spencer moaning as he fucks his fist. A black hole forms and warps time, turning every minute into a second and every second into an infinity until he has no idea how much time is going by. He drags his thumb over the tip, smearing precum over his cock and whining as his jaw drops at the feeling. “Oh my god, Spencer,” in that same strained, high voice. “’M gonna—ah!”

He gets the general sentiment. 

“What, baby? You’re gonna make yourself come all over your fingers? Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

“Mhm!”

“Yeah, I bet you are. It feels good, huh?”

“Yes,” you cry. 

“See? You don’t need my fingers to feel good. Mine barely fit, you know that? I have to hold your fucking hips down whenever I put my fingers in you because you can’t stop squirming. I don’t know how you think you’re going to take my cock.”

“Spencer!” 

He knows. 

“Come, baby. Let me hear you.”

The delicate sounds you make as you bring yourself to orgasm tip him over the edge of his own—grunting as he comes all over his fist. 

“Jesus,” he strains under his breath, the word dragging out into two long syllables as his hips buck involuntarily and cum drips down his knuckles. He’s lightheaded and he’s created a mess and it all happened so quickly. “Fuck,” he breathes, a rasping chuckle as he reaches for the towel he’d dropped on the bed after his shower earlier. “You conscious over there?”

“I’m conscious,” you slur, breathing heavily. “I’ve never had an orgasm by myself before.”

“Are you proud of yourself?” Spencer smiles, wiping his hand off and making sure he’s otherwise clean. “You should be. I am.”

He’s barely kidding. 

“I’ll be proud when I can do it without your help,” you tease. 

“But I’ll always want to help you with that.” His already warm face flushes further as he goes over what he’d said. “Sorry I was so vulgar.”

You laugh. He blushes even more. 

“Are you? I think you secretly love being vulgar.”

“I don’t know why! I have no idea where it comes from. I would never speak that way in any other context. I should probably work on that. Sometimes I look back on the things I say and I’m genuinely appalled.”

“Well, don’t stop on my account. Personally I enjoy it.”

“Yeah, I think I’m corrupting you. You probably shouldn’t enjoy it.”

The truth of it weighs heavy on his mind, but he’s pretty sure his voice alone doesn’t betray that and you can’t sense it through the phone. 

“Oh, my god. Do not do that falling on your sword shit. I like being corrupted by you. If you stop I’ll be very upset.”

“Well god forbid you get upset,” he teases gently. Idly he wonders if the reason he’s suddenly feeling so depressed is because his cortisol levels were already high from the case, and then he jarred his system with an orgasm, spiking his dopamine and ultimately causing it to plummet without the oxytocin release that post-coital physical contact would usually provide. 

Or if it was something else. It could also be something else. 

For the millionth time, he wishes he was with you. Part of him also wants to go to sleep. But mostly he wishes he was with you. 

—

A comfortable silence settles over the conversation. In the ditch between words, you’re mapping constellations in the texture of Spencer’s ceiling. If you squeeze your eyes almost shut, you can imagine it really is the night sky. You can imagine he’s really here. 

You think about what he said—his apparently mindless vulgarity. Did it mean anything? Or was he just rambling to get you off?

“Spencer?” you murmur. 

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

He sounds earnest, perhaps a little tired, as he replies, “always,” through the little metal rectangle on your chest. He likes me and my questions are important to him, you repeat to yourself silently as you work up the strength. 

“If Penelope hadn’t called, last night… were you going to have sex with me?” 

Your lip tastes like his toothpaste as you chew it. Spencer sucks in a breath of air like he’s about to speak—and lets it fizzle out like foam on a carbonated drink. 

“I don’t know,” he finally admits, lamely. “That wasn’t my plan, but you can be extremely convincing when you want to be.”

“But why can’t it be your plan?” It’s an almost whine, pouty and childish—but the next words are quiet and pained. “Is it something I’m doing wrong?”

“No, no! It’s not you. You’re perfect. It’s—it’s complicated. It’s a me thing.”

Such trite words—such a ubiquitous, simple excuse sounds almost comical from his mouth when you know he’s capable of all the eloquence in the world. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s ridiculous. 

“Okay. Let me simplify this for you,” you begin with an uncharacteristic assertiveness that surprises even you. “I want to have sex with you. Either we are going to have sex or we’re not. So your future branches in two diverging paths. In one, we have sex, and then we keep having sex. In the other we never have sex ever. If you want to ever have the privilege of fucking me, then we just have to do it. Otherwise it simply will never happen. And I’m not eternally patient, Reid.”

Go me, you think, slightly breathless from your monologue. 

“Watch your mouth,” he says dryly. Something about the chastisement makes your stomach flip and your whole body tingle. “When you talk to me you call me Spencer. I will also accept Doctor Reid.” You wrestle down a smile, refusing to let him change the subject. A delayed sigh from him sobers up the conversation. “You know what I want. I’ve been very clear with you about that. But…”

“But…?”

Another sigh. A deeper, shuddering sigh, like his breath is searching for balance. Like Spencer is in a precarious position for which he was unprepared. 

“But—but to be completely honest… I worry that you’ll regret choosing me. And I know virginity is a social construct and I’m not implying that your worth will somehow be diminished if we have sex but regardless of my views on virginity as a construct, having sex for the first time can be weird and scary and it’s incredibly intimate and I don’t want you to regret your first time like I regret mine because you chose the wrong person.”

The words come at you so rapid-fire it takes you a moment to process them. And aside from all the ways you want to reassure him that you will not regret choosing him—that you could never, ever regret anything about him—one thing stands out. 

“You regret your first time?” 

Something between a scoff and a sigh travels through the line. You can tell he’s not annoyed at you for asking so much as he’s flustered himself with all his own words as he occasionally does. 

“Yeah. Yes. Sometimes I do. The person—she didn’t… like me as much as I liked her. And I was really, really in love with her, and she knew that and she knew she wasn’t in love with me—or maybe she was, I don’t know—but my point is, when one person likes the other more than the other person like them, things get complicated. And however you feel about me—that’s fine. It’s fine. I don’t want you to feel bad if we don’t feel exactly the same way about each other. I understand that this is newer for you, it’s different, I—I just don’t want us to do something we can’t undo because I don’t want to relive that. And I’m not saying it will never happen but I just don’t want you to make this choice when… when right now, I think we’re in different places emotionally. Regardless of that, I want you to choose the right person. I don’t want you to choose me and then find out that we feel differently after we sleep together and leave you feeling like you signed up for something you didn’t understand. I’m sorry. Maybe telling you this is selfish. But I’ve been thinking about it and trying to ignore it and I think I just have to be completely honest.”

Your ears ring like Spencer just fired a blank right into the microphone. Like you just got backhanded across the face and now you have the world’s worst case of whiplash. 

Every finger is numb and your blood is so cold it feels blue as it slithers thick through your veins. 

What you want to do is scream. What you want to do is go back to last night and stop yourself from almost telling him I love you, slap yourself and keep your cards a little closer to your chest. Because now he knows, and he doesn’t feel the same. 

You want to scream bloody murder. 

But when you try, when you unhinge your jaw and part your chapped lips and expect a bellow to come hurdling up the corridor of your throat with so much force it rattles your bones, all that falls out is a small, “oh.”

Maybe that’s worse. 

Spencer doesn’t reply. You hate yourself for feeling obliged to fill the silence. 

“I didn’t realize you…”

I didn’t realize that you don’t love me back. 

I didn’t realize I like you more than you like me. 

I didn’t realize you’d tell me to masturbate in your fucking bed and then drop this not even five minutes later. 

If Spencer Reid was able to talk to you over the phone with the same amount of affection and familiarity as always, like everything was still okay, knowing you love him and he doesn’t love you the whole time, he is not who you thought he was. 

“I’m sorry,” he lamely says again, like it could ever help. 

More silence. Now you can’t bring yourself to speak, so Spencer does. 

“I realize how awkward this is. I really didn’t mean to put you in this position. Especially not over the phone when I—god, I’m stupid. I’m sorry. But can we—can we talk about this in person when I get back? Please?”

Is that what grownups do? Is the proper etiquette for him to take you out to dinner and explain why he’s not in love with you? Is he going to break up with you?

What does one even wear to a breakup date?

“Okay,” you whisper. Your eyes sting, your everything stings, like you’ve been wrapped in a shroud of briar. Sheets that were soft a moment ago feel like sandpaper on open wounds. You feel like an open wound. 

Spencer sighs. It’s a sound of relief that confuses and hurts you even more. 

“Okay. I—okay. Thank you. Um—I’ll let you go back to sleep, now.”

“Okay,” you repeat—as if any of this were okay. But you can’t keep being that stupid girl who feels it all so much harder, who loves easily and begs to be loved in return, too naive to assume that someone who treats her so kindly might not reciprocate her feelings. It has to be okay, because if it’s not, you’re silly and dramatic and you’re just proving him right. 

“Goodnight,” Spencer whispers, and you can’t help but feeling that it’s the last time you’ll ever hear those words from his mouth while you’re in his bed. And he’s not even fucking here.

So you pull the blanket a little higher. You let your tears stain his pillow because they’ll be invisible by the morning. It will be like they were never here. Like you were never here. 

“Goodnight.”

-

part five

[oh-no-its-bird]

Sakumo being a super popular borderline sex symbol in his era will never stop being my favorite hc, I need to see more of it

All the people his age and younger had a crush on him. It was just a Thing(tm) where 9 times out of 10, a Konoha shinobi's first crush was probably Sakumo. Even other villages young shinobi hung up his bingo book picture above their bunk and dreamed of both killing him, being killed by him (in a hot way), having a battlefield fling with him, and more. There was blackmarket fanfiction. He was incredibly popular among civilians all over fire country. Some popular romance novels had love interests very blatantly based off him.

Even before they were on a team together, Obito and Rin both had a silly kid crush on Kakashi's dad (Obito more than Rin) and he was aware of it. This did not help make him like them any more. (By the time hearing smthn positive ab his dad would have made Kakashi softer, they'd both gotten better at hiding the crush, so to Kakashi it looked like they'd gotten over Sakumo.) Even Minato had a bit of a thing for him, not really but like— strong, popular, feard and very friendly ninja who is now paying him some attention (bc hes his kids teacher) he's not immune. Kushina understands, she is also not immune. (Kakashi is going to throw a fucking fit)

Even after his failed mission, when his reputation crashes and burns within the village, he still can't completely shake his admirers— they possibly just get more disrespectful ab the attraction when it mixes with the hate. (Which tbh could make for an interesting discussion all on its own)

Kakashi is haunted by his father's insane popularity for decades after his death. He does his very best to ignore the lingering evidence of people being insane ab his father.

One day he realizes one of his favorite romance novels has a romance interest based off Sakumo and has a break down ab it and can never read the series again.

When raiding an old abandoned enemy camp w Team Ro, he finds an old, autographed photo of his dad covered in lipstick marks in the communal bathroom. He chooses to ignore it but it's quickly spotted by his teammates, who do not know who Sakumk is, and v quickly begin to remark on the poster, who this mysterious Konoha nin is, and ahaha damn he is kinda good looking, huh? (Kakashi wants to DIE)

Shisui ends up taking the poster back to Konoha with them and hangs it up in the ANBU communal quarters where it is VERY quickly recognized. And also some of the people in that room recognize it so quick bc they also used to own a similar poster. (Kakashi wants to DIE someone PLEASE kill him now)

Its only when he's given team 7 that he finally thinks he's escaped the legacy of his father as Konoha's Most Sexiest Shinobi. Only for Naruto, when being trained by Jiriyah, to find his drafts for Icha Icha very clearly inspired by his dad. Which he can never publish for multiple reasons (lingering respect for Sakumo. Also for Kakashi, who is his biggest fan and would probably never look at him again.)

Naruto somehow accidentally brings this up with Kakashi who like. Has war flashbacks and immediatley stands up and walks away as Jiryah scrambles to try to explain himself and Tsunade looks on in scorn (she will approach him later to carefully ask for the drafts while trying to seem like she's not really asking for them bc she's too proud to admit it)

Naruto and Sakura discover Kakashi-sensei's dad was a sex symbol. I don't even know how they'd react but like. Oh my god. Oh my god you guys.

Funniest option would be they accidentally revive his popularity a little bit by being so loud ab it they like, remind people ab him. + introduce another generation to the idea of him

Kakashi is crouched on the floor with his face in his hands. When will he be freed from this hell.

Sasuke does not escape tho, he goes to sound and finds a picture of Sensei's dad in Orochimaru's office (???????)

This is such a shitty sketch but the vision:

Itachi, who learned who Sakumo was from that poster thing, goes on to find a photo of him in ""Madara's"" belongings and gets super weirded out but ultimately doesn't. Super care. But also. Like. What. What.

After Itachi finds the photo, which Obito genuinley forgot he fucking had and keeps in part just bc its like one of the only belongings that remained from his Konoha days, he shoves it somewhere in Kamui to forget about.

But then in the Obito vs Kakashi Kamui fight, it fucking flutters down in the middle of the fight and Obito fucking dies of humiliation as Kakashi realizes he will truly Never Escape and that this reality is his own personal hell

Uhh endgame Kakashi becomes Hokage and accidentally retreads his father's path in becoming the new Konoha Sexy Man. Which simultaneously crushes him (he will never escape) and fills him with delight (he will now be able to impart the pain of having your father figure be lusted after by all ur friends and acquaintances onto his students)

[kat-mobile]

Hey love ❤️ hope you’re doing good

Can I request Tommy with a gentle, empathetic and sensitive reader please. It was an arranged marriage and he found out his new wife would cry herself to sleep over a book she read or just a cat. His reaction to someone who is completely opposite of him

Thank you in advance ✨

Tommy with a wife who's his complete opposite

A/N: Hey baby, thanks for the request!! I'm doing good and I hope you are too ❤️ I forgot to put on the requests post to specify if you want it as a fic or headcanons so I've made it sort of a mix of the two, hope that's okay anon. I made this blog to try and improve my writing skills and as this is my first attempt it isn't the best, so sorry about that lol. Hope you like it!! (this is set sometime around series 1-2 cause those are my fave)

It was an arranged marriage and to be honest... you weren't particularly thrilled by the notion of being married to Birmingham's most known and feared gangster. But you would do anything for your family and if your father decided that this is what would be best for securing the future of the family then you'd follow through on your part of the deal, even if it seemed like you and Tommy had absolutely nothing in common.

This was a couple months ago now and you had somewhat settled into your new life in Small Heath and with Tommy by your side, the two of you living in comfortable tandem. You had settled into a routine and life was good, or as good as it could be with the risk of being married to a Shelby.

He would buy you any book that you so much as happened to glance at and in turn you would patch up and sew back together any unfortunate pieces of clothing that got in the way of Tommy and his dangerous life style and work, fighting back tears and worrying at your lower lip as you did so. You may not quite understand why he was constantly putting himself in danger but he was your husband all the same and you had grown to love him as your marriage progressed

you would also force him to go and see an actual trained medical professional whenever he came home with said ruined clothing, as a dead husband is less than ideal and you have grown attached these last couple months

Your empathy and tendancy to cry over him when he got hurt was a shock at first but he quickly got used to it, he even tried to avoid getting hurt just so as to not have to see you cry over him

He may not say it outright but he appreciates everything you do and how much you care for him

He doesn't like to keep secrets from you but he doesn't share all aspects of work life with you as he doesn't want you to worry too much, but if being kept in the dark would worry you even more he'd make an effort to keep you in the loop

Your gentleness and compassion is a welcome contrast to his life from before you were apart of it, Tommy didn't know that he needed it before you

If there's one thing about Tommy Shelby, it's that he protects what's his and as his wife he treats you with the utmost care (especially if you have a tendancy to seek out the good in all people)

One night when Tommy (finally) came to bed he found you curled up in a ball on your side with your back to the door, tears gently running down your smooth cheeks

Unsure of what to do when confronted by your distress but still wanting to help, he'd rush to your side and scoop you up onto his lap, holding you close with your tear-stained cheek pressed against his chest and an arm thrown protectively around your shoulders. He'd cautiously rock back and forwards whilst his hand moves slowly up and down your back in what he hopes is a soothing motion. He's a little awkward and stiff but damn if he isn't fucking trying

He'd use his forefinger and thumb to tilt your chin up and force your eyes to meet his own before softly questioning you on why you were crying

"What you crying for, hmm love? Ruining your pretty face"

He'd say, wiping away your tears with his thumb

Upon hearing that the reason for your tears was a sad ending to one of the books he bought you he'd be a little taken aback and he would honestly have to suppress the urge to laugh

It all seemed rather silly to him that you'd cry over some words on paper

"Tommy it isn't funny, it was really upsetting" you'd hiccup out through your tears

he'd just shake his head and sigh, apologising, before pulling you closer, finally laying down on the bed with your legs intertwined

Tommy had hoped it would be a one of chance but when he caught you crying in bed again over the ending of Of Mice and Men, he very quickly figured that he'd have to adapt

Tommy developed a system for when you had your... shall we say moments, he'd sit down on his side of the bed with his back pressed against the headboard before he lifted you up and placed you in-between his legs

Sitting you so that your back was resting against his chest and you could feel his heartbeat

You would then explain to him the sad moments in your books as he softly hummed and nodded his head along to your words

And when he got tired from your quiet voice lulling him to sleep he'd pull you down with him as he laid on his side, caging you in against his chest with an arm around your waist

Those were the nights that he slept the best