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sweetflanfiction · 6 months ago

Text

Asymmetrical Symphony - Part 2

Universe: Arcane (LOL)

Pairing: Viktor x reader

Summary: You had been on the rooftop with Jayce and the Herald and somehow you were sent to a place where things can be different with your help

Disclaimers and Warnings: If you want me to tag you on the chapters let me know! Also leave a comment with your thoughts :D Not finished, not proofread. English isn't my 1st language. All I know about LOL is from google and all I know about Arcane is taken from the show, so inacuracies will be plenty. I have a sort of idea on how to I'm gonna go with magic and runes, so bear with me. The reader will be written and GN (going by they/them) to get everyone involved, but if you see any discrepancies let me know.

A.N.: Thank you for the fav and comments!! This chapter isn't gonna have much Viktor in it, but I'm just starting to estabelish some things and get the ball rolling. I'll try and update more Vik x you as quick as possible. :D

Part 1

• ··········· • ············ •

The world was spiraling around you. Noises of the past, the present, of another version of the world, blurred and mixed into a weirdly misshapen music. You tried to stop it, pause the song to figure out what’s what. Pull a thread to focus on something, to ground yourself. You inhaled air into your lungs and then expelled it. Every time you breathed out, the sounds became less confusing, like an orchestra finding itself following the maestro. In the end, only the quick buzzing of the world around you was left, as it settled down in a place and time.

You dazedly opened your eyes to a bright ball of light right before you and someone’s hand on your forehead. The sudden memory of the Hex Angel standing on top of you, extracting your soul from your body, flooded your senses, and you had to get away.

Quickly sitting upright, you shoved the construct away, watching with dread as the angel fell and stood up with ease. Their hands up in mock surrender, the mask emotionless.

“Calm down.” It said, with the familiar accent of a friend. “You’re safe.”

“Vik-Viktor stop…” You mumbled at the thing while it tilted its head at you. “Please”

It kept coming closer, its movements slow and deliberate, palms up to you as if it were approaching a scared animal.

In the haziness of trying to get away from it as fast as possible, you felt the ground give away under you, and once more, you were snapped back to focus when you landed on something hard.

The sound that left your lips was less than elegant as your back hit the cold, hard floor. Your body is now fully awakened to every scratch, bruise, and wound.

The first thing you noticed, as you tried to will the pain away, was the hard, smooth surface under your fingertips. Ceramics, cold hard ceramics. You turned your head and opened your eyes to a wall of floor-to-ceiling tiles, arranged in soothing colors.

You frowned at the familiar sense of the place.

Tilting your head backward, the minty-colored fold screen was unsurprisingly standing between gurneys, confirming where you were. Pilltover’s General Hospital.

And by the present company, maybe you had gone back to your time? Maybe forward? It didn’t make sense if they were here while you still looked human... something happened... Did you change anything that made the HexAngels different?

The sound of footsteps clicking on the floor was enough to get your mind back to the situation at hand. You tried to move, but something was grabbing your extended arm.

Your gaze followed the extent of your arm until it reached a cuffed wrist. Your cuffed wrist. They had cuffed your arm to the bed. You pulled at the restraint, testing it. It rattled but didn’t open, as expected.

“It’s alright…” The Herald’s modified voice scrambled into a warm woman's tone, its footsteps coming closer and closer.

That’s new. You snapped your neck to the voice, inching as far as you could from it.

The shape that appeared from behind the bed shifted from an abnormally beautiful construct to a tall and thin nurse.

“What the…” You looked at her face. A smile plastered on her face, hands stretched toward you. “Where am I?”

She gave the expected answer, but she did not understand the depth of your question.

“Why am I cuffed to the bed?” You asked, not moving from your seat on the floor, your backside becoming cold under the hospital gown.

“Officer Caitlyn wants to speak with you. You were found unconscious in the rubble of the attack.” The nurse went to grab you, and you swatted her hand as your vision layered her hand with a gold claw. She frowned.

“The rocket attack..." You mumbled, and she nodded.

“Quite the spectacle. If it had been in the Lanes, nobody would care.” She whispered, but you heard her.

“People died." You snapped, her eyes locking with yours.

“People die every day.” Her face contorted into a scowl, and you noticed a familiar accent in her speech, hidden behind the effort to sound Pilltovian. She’s from the Undercity.

You looked her in the eyes, and her indifference was palpable. She moved to grab you, but instead, she held her arm out.

“Come on, let’s get you back in bed.”

You wrapped your free hand on the forearm and pulled yourself up, towering over her.

“There we go.” She patted the bed, and you complied, sitting on it. She stood in front of you, grabbing a tiny silver flashlight from her pocket and lifting it with one hand while the other went towards your face.

Reality shifted, and once again her hand transformed into a golden claw with white fingers. You swatted it away and moved your face out of reach.

“No touching?” She asked, and you nodded, her following your movement a second later. “Very well. But I need to check you.”

“I’m fine.” you said, and she rolled her eyes.

“You survived a rocket hit to the head. Trust me, you are fine because we gave you drugs.”

You felt the corners of your lips turn up at her sass. With the faint accent, it was like you were back at the Talis Lab.

"Just don’t touch the face.”

“Very well, then you have to do it.”

She instructed you to pull your lower eyelids down, pull at your cheeks, and even gave you the tongue suppressor to look at the back of your throat.

“You seem very comfortable around someone in cuffs.” You told her as she gently peeled the gauze from a wound in your arm.

“People talk. From what’s been going around, you ran into the figurative building on fire. Sure, you knocked around a few enforcers, but sometimes they do need some sense knocked into them.”

You enjoyed it as her accent became more and more pronounced the more she talked. Memories of good old times flooded your mind when another Undercity crossover would talk your ear off as you fine-tuned your instrument. You knew that accent by heart, even mocking him by mimicking it.

“How long ago did you cross the bridge?” You whispered, not wanting to divulge that information to the world. She raised an eyebrow.

“A few years back, before nursing school.” She kept choking your wounds. “How did you figure it out?”

“The way you speak. I knew…know…knew someone, a friend, a close friend who spoke like that. They were…are…from the other side as well.” You cleared your throat and gave her your best Viktor impression. “If you don’t succeed at first, you must try again, after hiding the evidence, of course."

“That’s pretty good, actually. People here judge on sound alone. I’ve been hiding it for years, and you caught it in minutes.” She grinned.

“It does take practice and a good ear.”

You both fell into a comfortable silence, her checking your wounds and you reminiscing about the old days.

“When was the attack?” You asked suddenly, and she looked up from examining your ankle.

“Two nights.”

“What time is it now?”

“7 AM.”

“Who survived?”

“You.” She grinned. “Councilor Medarda, Councillor Talis, Councillor Shoola, and Councillor Salo.”

Your ears drowned with the sound of your heartbeat. Did you go through all of this for this to end up the same way? Were you going to lose your friend again?

"Ah, yes, someone else was found in the rubble.” Your eyes snapped open as she got up from her crouched position. “The other Hextech founder... What’s his face? Lanky, tall, always standing behind Councilor Talis.

"Viktor?” You whispered, and she nodded.

“Yes, that one.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. He is alive. For now. The calmness you had from the news was quickly replaced by another violent attack soon.

“Did they announce the remembrance speech day?” You asked quickly.

“I don’t think they even announced the public funeral dates, let alone announce the speech day.” She scribbled something on the board at the foot of your bed. “Well, my job here is done. I hope they go easy on you.”

She nodded, and you nodded back, turning to lay back down on the bed.

You had to figure out a way to stop that speech day. Or stop Mel, Jayce, and Viktor from attending, which would be impossible since Mel would be the one giving out the speech and Jayce was going to follow Mel and Viktor was going to follow Jayce. Or be made to, since these types of events were far from his favorite thing.

Time traveling is complicated, especially when nobody seems to know you.

You frowned. Why did nobody know you? I mean, the enforcers at the hexgate sure, but the ones in the Academy? You were practically a light fixture there, with the amount of time you spent inside.

And then it hit you like a rocket. They didn’t know you because you either didn’t exist or had a completely other life. So there was another possibility to your whole existence in this place. You could have time traveled, yes, but what was stopping whatever did this to you from making you jump through time and space?

What if this was another dimension, another universe, another timeline? What if the gods or whoever was trying to add variants to the timeline and see what got them the best results?

Your head was about to explode with this new information. Being cuffed to this bed in this brightly lit room was not helping the situation either.

You needed to get out. Without knowing what was the catalyst in this universe for the rise of the Herald, you couldn't stop it. You could warn Viktor; what better way to stop him from himself if he knew the consequences? But what if warning him was exactly what made him go through with it? His magnum opus actually worked for better or worse.

Introducing a single keystroke of a sonata could change the whole tune. You had to warn him, discreetly. Which you couldn’t because you were cuffed to a bed.

Reality moved, and for the first time since it did, you focused on it. It felt like when you’d be in the lab and you could feel a spark of something in the wrong place, waiting for the right circumstance to zap. Another whisper. A soundless gasp reverberated around you. The sound of metal vibrating as it’s struck made waves around you, like a stone that hit the water.

You managed to decipher, in between the waves, a new rune.

Whatever powers were drip-feeding you, these runes hadn’t failed you yet. You looked around for a pen, a dusty surface. Nothing. You looked at the hand with the rune scarred into it. Nothing.

You looked at the side table. A glass of water. You tilted it on the table, but as you drew the rune, you watched as it became disfigured. The water wasn’t keeping its shape on the flat surface.

Quickly, you patted the side of your bedding down, making it as smooth as possible. When it was flat enough, you dipped your fingers in the water and drew the rune on the sheet.

Stop the attack. Flick. Nothing.

Did you need it to be broader or more detailed? You tried again.

Save Piltover. Flick. Nothing

Stop the Herald. Flick. Nothing

You flailed your hands around in frustration. The rattling of the cuff on the metal side of the bed echoing around is this wrapped reality.

"Just unlock, you piece of—"

Growing frustrated, you punched the rune. Something clicked, and your hand was freed.

The world got back to normal, and you inspected your wrist, your gaze shifting from your wrist to the cuff.

You shook your head to clear it and immediately made your way out of the bed, limping your way out of the six-bed infirmary. Some of the orderlies looked at you sharply, but with the attack they seemed to have their hands full, choosing to effectively ignore you.

You grabbed someone’s jacket from the foot of a bed and put it on, thanking the gods they had kept your socks on.

The hospital was crowded, and you took that opportunity to make your way towards the exit. You kept your walk brisk and your head down, trying to walk around everything and everybody. Your heart was at your throat. Sneaking was never your forte; the last time you did, your father caught you halfway out the gates of the manor. You sighed, remembering the way he made fun of you more than argued. Footsteps light as a cannonball. You were usually the distraction for the sneaking, being the preferred go-to person for when the boys wanted to sneak a particular piece of equipment into the lab and didn’t need anyone to know. Especially Heimerdinger.

Forgetting your misadventures for a moment, you look up and see the glass doors, and beyond them the street. A couple of more steps. You quickened your pace, breaking into a small, limping run towards the doors.

The fresh air made you stop as it hit you in the face and you realized how damp and dense the air in the hospital was. You took a deep breath and started to make your way towards the sidewalk, looking up at the street, trying to map in your head the easiest way to get to the Academy, maybe even Viktor’s apartment, and if both failed, the Skyward Clinic, the topside private hospital. If any of them was hurt, that's where they would place them.

With your route mentally traced, you turned around to go down the correct route when something—or better, someone—made you stop dead in your tracks.

The Sheriff of Piltover to be, Caitlyn Kiraman, was standing right behind you. One eyebrow raised, arms crossed, eyes red and puffy. The scowl on her face contorting her pretty features.

You are about to run in the other direction, knowing that getting sent to jail would not help in your 'save-Piltover-from-the-Hextech-co-creator-genius-by-saving-said-Hextech-co-creator-genius’ plan when you feel the presence of two people behind you.

“I am not in the mood for games,” Caitlyn said, her voice matching her rigid stance. “If you are well enough to walk, you are well enough to talk. I can bring you in conscious or not. Your choice.”

“Why am I being arrested?” You asked, knowing full well that the trail of unconscious enforcers you left behind two days ago wasn’t exactly lawful.

She simply nodded to the enforcers behind you. They grabbed your arms unceremoniously and cuffed you, shoving you in the back of an Enforcer van.

············ • ············

Groaning, you rest your forehead on the table, the cool temperature of the metal helping the headache. You are sitting inside a concrete room, with your hands cuffed to the table. Caitlyn had left you there to stew.

"I'll be back... eventually." She had spat as she closed and locked the door.

With nothing but time to think, you went through your magic runes. With a limited range of motion, you started by drawing them on the dusty table without any intent for them, pushing them out with a tap of your finger.

Move. Tap. A miniscule part of the table seemed to become liquid, like you had thrown a pebble into a calm river, but nothing shifted or moved.

Unlock. Tap. Both of the cuffs and the door behind you clicked open, and you slowly looked between them.

Before you could get up and walk out, the door slammed open with a very puzzled Caitlyn standing just outside. She looked at the door and then you. Shrugging, you turned back to the table, quickly clicking your wrists together to reclose the cuffs.

“Who are you?” She asked, dismissing whatever thought she had previously.

You answer with your name. First and last.

“Adding ‘identity theft’ to your crimes isn’t going to help you. Who are you?”

Nodding your sighed content. If it’s identity theft, then there is someone with that name. Maybe you’d meet yourself and the dimension would implode. Or they could help you.

“I would like to speak with my father, Counsellor Rainemour.”

Cailyn raised an eyebrow at your question, setting the folder down and watching you with hawk eyes.

“There is no Counsellor Rainemour.” She stated,coldly.

“But the Rainemours are in Piltover, yes?”

“Enough with this! Who are you? The truth! Now!”

You opened your mouth to answer but didn’t know how to. So, you repeated your name. She groaned and sat down in front of you.

“Do you know who Jinx is?”

"No.” you lied.

“Do you have anything to do with the attack on the Council of Piltover?”

“Ah… That’s why it’s you. No…”

And finally the penny dropped. The reason why it was Caitlyn who was questioning you. She had been such a normal face to talk to, to look at, to bounce ideas with, that it didn’t dawn on you why she was the one talking to you now. The daughter and soon-to-be head of the Kiraman family. She thought you had something to do with the rocket attack.

“Then what were you doing in the council room?”

“I was trying to warn the councilors about it.”

“So you knew about it,” she shot quickly.

“Knowing of a crime and being involved in it are two very different things.” You fired back. “Why am I being arrested?”

“Trespassing on government grounds, assaulting several officers of the law, entering a governmental space without authorization, and last but not least involvement in the rocket attack that left several of the councilors dead or injured.”

You looked at her and made sure she was looking at you, seeing the frown grow deeper as you raised an eyebrow.

Counselor Rainemour liked to argue. He was a lawyer; his whole life was about arguing. Whether it was about Piltover's government or about the ant's right to the sugar in the house. And you loved to argue back. You not only had the patience but also the stubbornness and willingness to argue with your father. You never won, but you also absorbed anything he gave you. Laws, regulations, how the system worked—you were a sponge. If for nothing else, to use it in a following discussion.

“First, I never intended to trespass. I didn't even know I was trespassing. If you don’t know who I am, then I am not in the Piltover's identification system, which means I am not from Piltover. I took a wrong turn.” You leaned back into the chair, the pride and arrogance of a Topsider dripping on every word. You hated to admit this, but sometimes you missed being this person.

“And ended up inside our most complex method of transportation?” She shot back.

“I’m a visitor; how do I know what the inside of the most complex method of transportation in Piltover looks like?”

“You are not a visitor.” She spat and sat down. “It took you 4 minutes and 45 seconds to go from the top floor of the Gate to the Council room. You took shortcuts and straight lines toward the Academy. You are not a visitor.”

You shrugged at her humorless grin.

“Circumstantial, I may just have a very good sense of direction.” She was about to open her mouth, and you raised a finger. "Secondly, the only officer I assaulted was the one at the gate, and technically it could be considered self-defense. I was confused. He was shoving me. I got scared. He was a very intimidating figure.”

“What about the other ones?” She gritted her teeth and leaned forward.

“What other ones? I didn’t touch anybody else. Ask them. For all we know, they tripped and fell.”

Some part of you was proud to be deflecting all of this; the other knew Caitlyn wouldn’t just forgive and forget. If you got out with even so much as a fine, she would hunt you down.

“Third: "Forcibly" already indicates that it lacked authorization or consent to do whatever you are accusing me of. However...” Now the big finale. “Page 450 of the Piltover’s Government Guidelines, City Emergency chapter, 1st paragraph: any citizen of Piltover is allowed unauthorized entrance to the council chamber if the need to inform the council of a threat to the city is urgent and cannot be delayed. This entrance can be done even if the council is in session.”

You took a little pride in remembering this little snippet. Even if the reason you knew it was not because of your father. In fact, you knew it because Viktor had once made a miscalculation on a hextech concept that Jayce was about to present to the council. So he had burst into the room to try and warn their friend mid-session.

Turns out, saving your friend's face from total academic embarrassment is not a threat to the city.

“You must be really stupid.” At the insult, you narrowed your eyes. "Going on and on with your technicalities, knowing I can use it against you.”

There was one insult that had always made your blood boil. Stupid. You could be called dumb, ditzy, or unintelligent. Anything but stupid. Your Caitlyn knew that; your Caitlyn was the first to punch someone when they did it.

“My father is a lawyer, Miss Kiraman.” Your face turned cold, your tone hard. The shift was enough to make Caitlyn’s eyebrows go up for a millisecond. “He thrived on technicalities. And you can’t use shit from what I just said. You didn’t read me my rights. Nothing I said since you stepped foot in the room can or will be used against me. This…” You pointed between the two of you. “Is nothing more than two friends catching up. Your grief is clouding your judgment.”

For a second, the tension was as loud as a trumpet, and the silence was as thick as a fog. Caitlyn slammed her hands on the table and leaned into it, getting her face an inch away from yours, only to be stopped by someone shoving the door open.

“What are you doing, Miss Kiraman?” An unfamiliar female voice announced from behind you.

············ • ············

Viktor didn’t believe in luck.

Because if he did, all his accomplishments could have been derived from it. So he just didn’t believe in it much. Sure, maybe finding some coins on the floor was luck, but not much more than that.

Everything he did and does is to make sure nothing is left to luck or chance. Every number on the blackboard, every calculation on his blueprints.

But now, standing in the middle of the destroyed council room, Viktor felt lucky. Extremely lucky.

• ··········· • ············ •

@marshy-moo @victormydarling @blueesmiski @th3stup1dcat @22carolina08 @httpstes @adithsaley @that-one-shitty-blog @disa-pointment @sseleniaa

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boybandbaby · 3 months ago

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A Night To Remember (Evan Buckley x SingleMom!Reader)

word count: 2267

warnings/tags: single mom reader, a child, v light angst, unspecified reason for father’s absence (let you mind run wild), as always if I’ve missed anything lmk

note: not entirely happy about this but I really wanted to do this concept also sorry if your name is Evie I tried to use a name I liked but something I don’t see most people have

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Your daughter had hopped in the backseat without her usually greeting. With you she was a chatterbox, rambling about her day and what her friends did during school. With new people, she was shy. She’d hide behind your legs as you introduced her to strangers. She takes a while to open up but once she comes out of her shell, she’s a social butterfly.

You’re not sure why she’s so quiet now and she won’t tell you. She sits in the back seat, feet still as her favorite song plays, a pout on her lips as she looks out the window.

You’re worried. Worried that maybe someone had bullied her or that she’d gotten into trouble somehow. No, the school would’ve called.

You make your way home, opening her door to help her out. She hops out and doesn’t hold your hand as you make your way into the complex.

“Did something happen at school?” You inquire.

She shakes her head as you unlock your door. She runs inside and kicks her shoes off, creating a tripping hazard. You figure it’s better to not poke the bear right now and don’t remind her of the rules to put her shoes on the shoe rack.

“Can I do my homework after dinner?” She finally speaks.

“Are you sure? Buck’s coming over, I thought you guys were going to play that new board game he got for you?” You help her take her back pack off.

“I want to go to my room.” She mumbles.

“You don’t want your after school snack? I was going to make you some celery and apples with peanut butter.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Babe, what’s wrong?” You kneel down to her height, brushing hair from her forehead.

“Nothing!” She pushes your hand and runs to her room, door slamming behind her.

You decide to give her some space as you take the groceries out that you bought for dinner. Your mind races with what you could have done to upset her.

Buck arrives about an hour later. His smile drops when he sees the stressed look on your face. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

You usher him in and pull him in for a hug. “It’s Evie.” You whisper though you know she can’t hear. “She was quiet the whole ride home and then when we got home, she bolted to her room.”

“Let me go say hi, I’ll be back to help set the table.” He smiles. He makes his way through the apartment to her room.

He knocks twice before opening the door just a crack. “Evie? It’s Buck. I just wanted to say hi and let you know dinner is ready.”

He hears her sniffles. “Come in.”

He smiles despite hearing that she’s been crying. When they first met, she was too shy to even look at him but over the last few months they’ve became besties. Buck of course spoils her and she loves it.

“Hey, you having a bad day?” He softly asks. She nods, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand and putting her pencil down on her open folder which lays on her lap.

Buck gets onto his knees at the side of her bed. “Wanna tell me what happened?” He brushes her hair away from her face and pulls it back behind her shoulders.

Instead of talking, she pulls a pink flyer from behind the worksheet she was writing on. She hands it to Buck.

Elementary School Father Daughter Dance

Saturday February 1st at 6pm

Gymnasium

Please purchase tickets by January 29th. $15 per pair

Dinner | Dancing | Games

“You’re upset because you want to go to this?” He clarifies. She nods.

“My friend Tammy said she’s going with her daddy and my other friend Julie doesn’t have a dad like me but she’s going with her older brother.” Her lip wobbles. “I don’t have anyone to go with.”

“Hmmm. And you don’t want to go with mom?”

“Mommy is a girl.”

“Some people have two mommies instead of a mommy and a daddy and some people have two daddies.” He informs her.

“How does that work?”

“Okay maybe I should let your mom have that talk with you.” He rubs the back of his neck. “How about we go eat dinner and we can show mom the flyer? And if she is okay with it and you’re okay with it, I can go with you.”

“You’ll go with me? Even if you’re not my daddy?”

“Yeah, I’d love to take you. I’m not a good dancer though.” He warns.

“Thank you! Thank you!” She squeals, leaping forward to hug him.

Buck rubs her little back, pulling her up as he stands. “You ready to eat?”

She nods and rests her head on his shoulder as Buck hands her the flyer to hold.

You’re already serving three plates when they come out. You’re smiling when you see that Buck’s gotten her out of her mood.

“Everything good?” You raise a brow at him as you set a fork down by each plate.

“Yes mommy. I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier.” She wiggles down Buck’s front and runs to your side. She hugs your legs, the flyer crinkling against your thighs.

“What’s that you got there?” You point to the paper. She steps back and looks to Buck who nods at her, encouraging her to discuss the dance with you.

You read over the paper and look at her. “I want to go with Buck, pleaseeee.”

“So, this is why you were upset?” You place a hand, palm up, under her chin. “Did you ask Buck already to go with you?” She nods.

“If you’re okay with it, I’d be happy to take her.” He steps in.

“You’d do that?” You look at him, eyes glossy. “It’s not too much to ask?”

“Of course not. It’s important to her and you’re both important to me.” He opens the fridge and gets the juice and two water bottles out.

“Then I guess it’s a date.” You shrug, leaning down to kiss Evie’s forehead.

When dinner is over, Buck helps Evie finish her homework sheets. She’s too burnt out from excitement and her earlier crying that she heads to bed early.

She’s old enough to dress herself and brush her teeth, only asking for help putting the toothpaste on the brush.

After Buck helps her off the step stool, he helps tuck her into bed as you fix her nightlight. She falls asleep with a smile on her face, excited to tell her friends that she will be going to the dance.

You and Buck settle into your bed, changed into pajamas and comforted pulled down the bed.

“Buck?” You ask, nervously, as you slip into your side of the bed.

He hums, fluffing the pillow he always uses when he sleeps over.

“You sure you’re okay with taking Evie to the dance? I know we haven’t really talked about your role in her life. I’m not saying I’m expecting you to be her father or stepfather or anything like that and I know you said you were okay with me having a kid. I guess I’m just worried I’m forcing you to take on responsibility.”

“Breathe baby.” He leans into the bed, crawling closer to the middle. “You’re not forcing me to do anything. I love being with you and being your boyfriend and yes you have a daughter but that doesn’t bother me. I love spending time with you both. I like being part of your family.”

“You’re so sweet. I just don’t want you to feel trapped.”

“Don’t.” He shakes his head. “Don’t even think like that. I’m honored that she wants me to go with her and I’m grateful you’re letting me part of her and your life. Okay?” He holds your face in his hands. “I love you.”

“I love you. You’re too good to us.”

“Stop.” He feels a blush creeping up onto his neck.

Just days before the dance, you all go to the mall so that Buck and Evie can get matching outfits.

She’s very adamant about wearing a red dress and requires Buck to wear something red too.

Buck had decided to get ready before he came over for the dance. He also stopped to run some errands before coming over.

Evie had asked you to do her hair and if she could wear makeup. You settled for some sheer lip gloss to satisfy her.

She was pacing the living room. “Mommy! Buck is going to be late.”

“Babe, the dance is in an hour. He’s on his way.” You laugh, pouring yourself something to drink. “Just sit in the couch and relax.”

“I can’t relax! I’m so excited.” She jumps up and down. Buck knocks on the door and she runs. “He’s here! He’s here! Can I open the door?”

“Just this once.” You follow her, standing behind her.

When she opens the door, Buck stands there looking handsome as always. He’s holding a small bouquet of flowers, a pink heart balloon, and a small teddy bear.

“Ah!” Evie screams, holding her hands out for her gifts.

“Hi! You look so pretty.” He kisses her forehead. She giggles and runs to put her gifts on her bed. “She gets it from her mom.”

“You’re a smooth talker, Buck.” You grin at him. “And where’s my gift?”

“Right here.” He winks and pulls you into him by your waist. His lips meet yours in a passionate kiss. You only break away when Evie clears her throat.

“You should’ve seen her. She was more nervous than I was for our first date.” You laugh.

“Is that so?” He picks her up. “No need to be nervous little lady. We’re going to have a great night!”

“You’ll dance with me and my friends?” She pokes at his cheek.

“Of course, we’ll dance all night.” He kisses her cheek.

You kiss them both goodbye and assure Buck you’ll keep your ringer on in case he needs anything.

Buck is a gentleman as always as he opens the door for her both in the car and at the school. Her hand clings to his and he can see the nerves in her little eyes as she looks around the gym.

Her eyes widen and she taps Buck’s side, pointing at her friend Tammy who is sitting at a table with her father. Buck guides her over to the table and asks if they can join them. Buck makes small talk with the man as the kids show each other their dresses and sparkly shoes.

When it’s time, Buck helps serve Evie and helps tuck a napkin into her neckline. He’s at her beck and call, getting her cups of punch and cookies from the dessert table.

They end up winning one of the games due to Buck’s competitive nature. They win gift certificates for a local ice cream shop and promise to go next weekend. They then spend the night dancing (jumping and twirling) to pop music.

Buck’s burnt out, he thinks he might be more tired than a shift at the station. He’s sent you loads of videos and pictures throughout the night, even FaceTimed you to show you the decorations.

Your heart has swelled up with joy and love for your daughter and for Buck. It’s been hard for both of you without her father so her being able to have this experience makes you so happy. And Buck, I mean how could you not love him even more after this? He went out of his way to create a special experience for her without hesitation.

Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear the front door open, having just given Buck a spare key. You both shared an emotional moment when you gave it to him but it was bound to happen sooner or later and you felt the sooner the better.

You click the volume to mute and stand from the couch just as he’s approaching. He looks beat and tired with droopy eyes but he carries Evie’s sleeping form. Though she’s asleep, she holds onto him for dear life.

“Hey.” You whisper and lean up to kiss him. “I can take her.”

He shakes his head, “I got her. Let’s tuck her in. She’ll be too sleepy for a bath.”

You nod and plan to get her all washed up first thing in the morning. You help pull the blankets from her bed as Buck lays her down. You both take one foot each and unbuckle her shoes. He hands you the shoe and you place them in her closet.

After a kiss to the forehead and a flick of the nightlight, you both exit. Buck wraps his arms around you, his chest resting against your back. He tucks his chin into your neck.

“Sleepy?”

“Yes.” He groans. “I have not danced that much since I was a kid. But I had so much fun, she’s such a good kid. You’re such a good mom.”

You blush, cheeks flaming. “She is. Thank you for doing this.” You’re glad he can’t see your face. You’re about to burst into tears.

“I love doing stuff like this for her. And for you. You deserve a night for just you and to not worry about doing all this alone.”

“I love you, you know that?” You turn in his arms.

“Don’t cry.” He urges, hands rubbing up and down at your sides before his thumb wipes a stray tear on your cheek. “I love you. I’ll be here for you both. Always.”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

#911 abc #911 x you #evan buckley x reader #911 x reader #evan buckley #evan buckley x you #evan buckley x y/n

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neonovember · 5 months ago

Note

This is an idea that’s been on my mind lately because Carmy would be so protective and would 100% treat his gf like a princess, so I thought I’d send it in ifs it’s okay!!🤧

Can I please request Carmy x fem!reader where it’s based off the song “Treat You Better”, where she’s one of his chefs, and Carmy has a biiiig soft spot for her, like soft smiles, hand on the small of her back. Y/n is veryyyy soft spoken and quiet, a very stark contrast to the rest of The Beef/The Bear staff. The staff absolutely love her and are super protective of her: She’s best friends with Sydney (also she’s around the same age as Syd, early 20s), Tina sees her as a daughter, Marcus is always trying to make her laugh and asks her to try his pastries, Richie is more gentle with her than he is with everyone else, Ebra has a calmness around Y/n, Sugar (when she stops by) loves treating Y/n like the little sister she never had, and Carmy… Carmy is head over heels for Y/n. He’s so soft and gentle with her, never raising his voice at her in the kitchen, and he always has the cutest nicknames for her🤧. However… Y/n has a boyfriend, they all know it, and they all share an extreme dislike for him. He’s not very nice, and it all goes to a boiling point when they spot bruises, Y/n letting her hair fall over her face.🥺 Tina and Sydney probably noticing right as she walks in one morning, then the rest of the staff noticing too, the whole kitchen getting eerily quiet, Carmy pulling her aside to his office to talk to her, holding Y/n in his arms while she cries🥺 Carmy 100% taking his bat and beating the crap out of her bf… Now ex, and he offers for Y/n to stay with him because she has nowhere to go? Their relationship growing after that? Y/n kissing him one day, shook at herself, but he kisses her back?

July in November

carmen berzatto x fem! reader

warnings: heavy domestic abuse, controlling fiance, swearing, violence, carmen goes gives absolute no regard for felonies, (assumed) unrequited love, self deprecation, victim blaming

a/n: this entire fic is just time skips l swear, I've written something similar here as well if you liked this which i hope you did! dv is a heavy subject, and not something to trivialise. if you or someone you know is going through dv, please reach out x

banner from @firefly-graphics

The streaks of concealer do little to hide the bloom of dark purples and blues.

They stretch out, clawing up your side and past your ribs, shades of overlapping blotched bruises that were not yet healed.

You were a chef trained in Oslo for god sake, you had friends and family who loved you- and you let out a laugh when the words come out pathetic and dull.

You were right where he left you.

You suppose from the continuous uphill of your career, the exhaustion had made it easier to just sit still, let it happen. He had proposed and you had said yes unblinking. It was what he told the countless people at dinner parties he dragged you to in attendance,

“I had finally beat her down enough to finally fall in love with me” He smiled, his eyes shining and his grip on your waist bruising as the people smiled and laughed and you swallowed back his irony.

The cycles of abuse had started before you could truly remember, bouts of angry yelling before the hot dull beat of pain. And he was so kind after, so thoughtful and apologetic, his eyebrows furrowed and his touch gentle as he leaned over you.

Were you still a victim, if you wanted to stay just for the after?

You shake your head, slowly blinking at the reflection of your bloated torso. Peeling away your shirt gently before buttoning up one of your work shirts instead.

Your heart settled when you thought of the Bear. It was your haven, Richie’s rambled drivel, Sugar hovering every so near, Carmen with his eyes and his inked hands and his sweet mouth. It wrapped around you more tightly than those bruises ever could.

You look over to watch your fiancé, fast asleep content with a full stomach and tired fists. He was so vulnerable like that, and the feeling of anger unfurls in your gut. For once, just one time you wanted him to feel it, that gut wrenching frightened feeling.

You look over to the stone doorstep near his desk, the stupid thing that he had revered at one of his art conventions that was left keeping the door open. You wonder, just for a second, what it would feel like to lean over him with it between your hands, waiting for the slight blink of his eyes that clear away the sleep.

Watch the fear melt into them, and smashing his fucking face with it.

You breathe deeply, arranging your hair so it is out of your face, flattening out the creases in your shit and avoiding your stomach as you stood up and grabbed your bag.

“Where are you going”

You blink, hands gripping your work bag as his voice bellows “Work”

“Huh. We need to sort that out soon”

You stopped, closing your eyes as you fiddled with the loose threads from the shoulder strap. You knew this conversation, where he would bring up another thing in your life he wanted to talk about, as if your relationship was built on a solid base of understanding and conversation. You would wait until his voice would ripen with jealousy and rage, where thinly veiled inquisition would fall away and reveal what he truly wanted.

You had given him enough of your life, let him change and control it. But you would soon let yourself be buried then let him take this too from you. No fucking way.

“Sure”

You pass by the door, pushing the stone to the side. It wasn’t heavy at all.

It’s when you enter the back door of the Bear do you realise you’ve spent your whole commute over holding your breath.

The smells of sauces and expensive meats lulls your anxiety into a mummering tremble, and you sigh softly to yourself as you sling your bag into your locker.

You can already hear Richie arguing, and the tired voice of Carmen biting back and you want to slap yourself for all the times you had grown annoyed at them. What you would give to hear them always, to feel this level of safety and comfort without the overhanging timer of when you would eventually have to leave.

You nod towards Sydney, carrying a large tray of roasted pecans over to Sam, her braids intricately wrapped around her head.

The walkway is framed with pictures of the family, from Mickey to the recent Polaroids of Sugar's newborn. You notice a framed picture of the team from years ago, when you had first started working at the Bear. You’re squished between Carmen and Fak, the backdrop of a renovating Bear behind you all.

The timidiness of being new had not left then, and despite the family enveloping you as their own you had wondered why Carmen had chosen you out of all the decorated chefs that had surely applied. You had asked him this once, after an exhausting dinner rush and he had simply looked up at you from his plate of stolen steak and eggs.

“You’ve got something, Kid. Maybe it’s because you hadn’t yet gotten the light beaten out from the culinary world but I need that. Need someone who pushes against the boundaries you know?”

You had stayed quiet as he talked

“And you’re a local. Boston isn’t for the faint of heart, you know your diners better than they know themselves. Call it prejudice, I call it a safety cushion.“

You wondered what she would think of you now, her wide eyed dream so close you could see her tight grip on her chef coat in the grainy photograph.

You follow the noise of the crew into the kitchen, when Carmen is hunched over a chopping board and Richie is pointing out problems in the seating arrangement for tonight.

He exhales, ready to start another contingent when he spots your figure walking through the entryway.

“Finally. Someone fucking competent in this place”

“Hey Richie” You smile, tightening your apron before biting back a wince. The darkness of your life outside of the Bear had a way of seeping in at times, you had grown too comfortable.

“Hey baby, you good? yeah?” Richie replies

“Richie-“ Carmen interrupts, turning his head to face you for the first time in an hour (which you did not realise but Riche surely did)

“Fuck off. Fuck you. You sure baby? Need me to get you somethin? I got a pack of Marlboros if you need a break”

“Leave her alone, dammit Richie, and a cigarette this early?”

“Oh! Oh! The addict wants to act holier than thou all of a sudden. Just because you slapped on a couple Nic patches-“

“It’s gum and it’s fucking working asshole”

“The L hold you up?” Richie says, throwing the finger at Carmen

“No, no, um, just got in a little fight with David” You reply, cutting your eyes away from him.

Richie rolls his eyes with a groan, a sour expression filters over his face in flash at the mention of your fiance’s name.

“That fuckin’ guy, I swear that boyfriend of yours” Richie groans

“It was my fault really.”

You notice Carmen’s movements stop abruptly, the chopping growing silent with his back turned to you.

“I highly doubt that” Carmen grumbles, before Tina and Sydney come through the door

“Hey, why were you late you missed out on that guy who tried fighting Fak-”

“Her stupid fucking boyfriend”

“Easy” Carmen replies, turning to face you again

“Hey, c’mon Carmen you of all people know that man does not deserve her one fucking bit”

“Darling you need to get rid of that man I’m telling you, he ain't treating you the way you deserve. There's no good keeping an angry man” Tina chides, eyebrows raised as she wipes her fingers on the cloth draped over her shoulder.

“Yeah, he's a dick. And he’s always just…hovering when he comes.” Sydney replies

“And always talk in this condescending tone, adding random words to sound smarter than he is” Marcus’s voice interjects, peeking from around the pastry corner

“Like pseudo-intellectual goddamn-” Tina grumbles, in lightning speed

“Yuppie” Fak continues, and Tina nods

“All I’m saying doll, is that if you end up dumpin’ him we’d be right behind ya’. Might throw a little party here, a small one…how much does it cost to hire some fireworks?”

“Ease up guys, her love life ain’t got nothing to do with us alright. Let the girl be” Carmen voice bellows “And we got work to do”

He turns to the rest of them, shaking his head feigning annoyance at the team gathering together to gossip. And yet, his hands grip his towel tight enough to leave them white, and his teeth grind against his molars when he thinks of your boyfriend.

You don’t know how they'd react when they find out he proposed, you can’t exactly hide a ring.

“Hey” You smile towards Carmen, who’s twisted features blink into resolve when he hears you

“Hey” He nods, wincing as he pressed his fingers to his temple gingerly.

“Still got that headache?”

“I’ll be fine, just wish it would save the eye stabbing until after dinner service”

“Here”

“I’m alright-“

“Take it” you repeat, pressing some pain killers in his hand.

Carmen nods gratefully, hands clasped around yours for a second longer. Before they part.

He eyes the pills, and for a second you see this puzzled look gleam across his eyes.

He pops them in his mouth, you let out a breath from your chest quietly.

You kept your work and home life separate, Carmen didn’t need nor should carry the burden of this ugly secret that paints you from the inside out.

You had a lid on it. You were sure.

You let yourself get lost in the ingrained memory of moving around the kitchen, letting the slice of your knife against the flesh of meat and fruit melt away everything you had been shouldering the past year.

It gets busy, really busy, Richie and Carmen fail to cohabitate in the hours of the dinner service, multiple plates are dropped, you almost can’t keep up with the never ending orders coming in but its also fucking amazing. The rush of delivering every component of a plate in time, making sure the meat is cooked until just right, making sure the sauce isn't runny, it feels like dancing.

Your legs and arms ache, you have a headache and your apron is stained and you can’t tell the difference between the end of the dinner service and hitting the last step of a choreographed dance.

The high that buzzes through your body is mirrored by everyone around you, and you take a second to sink in that feeling of euphoria as the last tables are cleared.

“That was..” You start, un-hunching your shoulders as the rest of the team look up in a daze, surrounding the kitchen

“Fuckin’ amazing, might be our best night yet” Richie grins, bobbing his chin as it rests on his hands

“That was good..we could've been a bit better at turning the tables-” Carmen murmurs

“Oh c’mon Carmy, we can talk about the finalities later but even you can admit that was pretty good” Sydney calls out, leaning her head against the door frame, as exhausted pulls at her every feature

“Yeah…yeah it was good”

“No one go anywhere, I’ve got left over schnitzel and potatoes and I know none of you have taken a break”

“How long has it been since we’ve sat down for family?” Tina mumbles, wiping her stained apron tiredly

“Too long, I don’t mind fixin’ it up” You stretch out your arms, unbuttoning your chef's coat and folding it neatly, despite Sugar throwing them into the sink to soak for the night later.

“I’ll help” Carmen nods to you, doing the same with his apron. His dark crew neck that sticks to him reveals with every button, outlining the indentations of his chest and biceps.

Family usually consists of throwing whatever leftovers from the night's dinner service onto a large plate and proceeding to throw some forks near it. There had been a long trail of food combinations that either delighted the crew or had you throwing your towel in and going to the taco truck nearby.

Today however, the night had gone so well and had distracted you even better. You could at least make up some plates, make ‘em look pretty or whatever else your hands had been trained to do.

The rest of the team move the tables to form one large spanning diner in the middle of the Bear, the scrape of wood against flooring is all that fills the air as you and Carmen work silently. You’re good together, that sort of chemistry that only comes with understanding a person so well you can anticipate their next move. And the night feels like a dance again, moving left and right, handing him pieces of chicken and spoonfuls of sauce, wiping plates clean and centering them right.

It’s only when Richie comes tumbling through the double doors does it cause Carmen to jump, spilling the ladle of hot gravy across your shirt. You wince, Carmen lets out a garbled grunt and Richie cringes.

Carmen is quick, reaching for a nearby cloth as he begins to lift up your shirt gingerly. The sauce isn't boiling, but there is a slight stinging heat that radiates across your midsection and you're too distracted and uncomfortable that you forget yourself, and let Carmen reveal you.

It takes Carmen a second, he's pulling your shirt up just below your underbra, and his fingers pause against the fabric.

You’re confused just for a moment, but it stretches out, and you let yourself sit in the fantasy of unknowing, you let yourself imagine a life where what was sprawled across your skin was just the remnants of a soggy shirt and irritated skin.

The truth of it hits you when you watch Carmen's face change in front of you.

“What the fuck?”

“Don’t-”

“What?” Richie calls, coming closer before throwing his head back

“Jesus fuckin' christ kid”

“I-I we got into a fight-“

“A fight? He beat you!”

“You don’t understand-”

“Maybe I don’t but this-“ Carmen gestures to the welts and colours that paint your stomach “Is one of the worst things I’ve seen in a long time”

Carmen’s hands are still gripping your shirt, the rag dropped to the floor between you now as you lower your head and let your hair cover your eyes.

“I’m sorry-“ You croak out, tongue heavy and eyes blurring with tears.

“Sorry-?” Carmen circuses down to meet your eyes incredulously “You’re sorry? Why are you fucking sorry, look what he fucking did to you!- what has he done to you?”

“Hey hey, honey you need to tell us what happened. This isn’t right, no fight can justify this” Richie whispers, crouching near you as he watches Carmen carefully.

“It was an accident”

“Do you truly believe that?” Richie murmurs softly, and you look up with a furrow of your brow.

You turn to Carmen whose face is twisted in anger, his eyes on your midsection, his hands around your sides and around you.

“I don’t know anymore..I’m just so tired” You whimper, your throat growing tight as Carmen’s brows furrow, blinking and grinding his jaw

“I’m going to fucking kill him-“

“Hey, Carmen wait just- wait” Richie is quick to reach Carmen as he rears back

“Look at her- he can’t-FUCK”

“I know, and we will. I want to break his goddamn legs but we got to think of her. We need to get her out of this, we need to think about her first”

Carmen closes his eyes as you watch their interaction, and he turns to you as you blink the tears that drop down your cheek. He frowns and waits for your approval and you nod, and Richie lets go of him and he gathers you in his arms and lets you cry the last of your resolve on his shoulder.

You don’t tell him anything, and he doesn’t ask. He lets you wet his shoulder as the silence that sits in the kitchen is consumed by your muffled cries instead.

The commotion causes the rest of the team to flood in, putting the pieces together when they see your shoulders shaking with grief and your unbuttoned top. The bear hung with the sick reality of a beat woman, and the once hungry crew now felt the nauseous image in front of them fill their stomach.

Sydney is the one that eases you out of Carmen’s arms, and pulls your hair back as she whispers apologies into your ear. She takes you to the emergency room to make sure nothing is broken. When the nurses greet you by name she waits until you're in the examination room before sobbing into Tina’s arms.

“How did I not notice, I see her every goddamn day, how did I not notice he was hurting her?”

“Don’t do that, don’t blame yourself. There is only one person to blame”

The rest of the team follows, and they all sprawl across the waiting room, heads between their hands.

After one of the junior doctors gives you the all clear, and Carmen and Richie follow up on the police report you make your way down the linoleum hallway in the crumbled stained shirt that had started this all.

You blink as you watch the faces of everyone you love look up in worry, exhaustion is written into their bones and still they sit in the too small waiting chairs for you. You had never felt a love like that before, so profound and overwhelming clear and you breathe it in deeply like it's the last thing you’ll taste.

“I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t you fuckin dare-”

“I know, I know, just please hear me.”

They relent, and you wait until they all nod towards you before continuing

“You guys have taken me as your own, made me feel a part of something greater than myself. I don’t want you to think I was unloved” Your voice heightens with the wet tears that fill your throat

“Every single time I came through those doors I felt it okay? I never understood the power of it, of love, but I feel it now and I felt it then. It just got muddled in the middle of all of this, of all the things I keep hidden. And that is my fault, but you guys, the Bear? You guys kept me alive” You whisper the last part, your voice caught in your throat as you try to still the shake your hands.

“You did nothing wrong baby, nothing. It’s hard to leave isn’t it? It’s hard to even say it” Ebra is the first one to whisper, holding your hands gently and carefully. You look at him, as his eyes gleam with the heaviness of his past and you don’t quite understand how, but you believe he knows that well.

“We’re your family, whatever it is that you're dealing with we shoulder it to, we carry that burden. That is what we're here for, and you can take all the time that you need. Let us help you, but you know what happens now, yes?” Richie murmurs

“I need to get out”

“Damn fucking right you do. And fast, I know it's going to be hard but you need to act like everything is normal. Get in, pack a bag and get out.”

You breathe in deeply, remembering all the half packed duffle bags that had been left near the door. This time you wouldn't be able to back out, this time Carmen would make sure of it.

“Where’s Carmen?” You suddenly say, and Richie shifts his gaze to the exit sign.

“Maybe give him a few moments Kid” Richie murmurs, but you ignore him, moving quickly towards and out of the doors into the smoking area in the alleyway.

You spot him hunched over, back against the stone wall, trails of grey smoke filters from his mouth as you tsk loudly when you near him.

He raises his head up, widening his eyes before looking down at the cigarette.

“You were doing so good” You smile softly

“Yeah? Felt like pulling teeth, not grabbing for one every couple hours.”

“But those chewing gums”

Carmen shakes his head “Don’t tell Rich, but they were fucking disgusting”

You let out a hearty laugh, leaning back on the wall beside him.

Carmen takes one last deep drag, before pressing the butt of the stick into the wall that isn't near you.

It’s silent, and you feel him watching you for a long time before his voice replies in a croaky tear filled tone you had never heard come out of his mouth before.

“Goddamn it kid”

“I know” You reply instantly, the tears that you thought had left you were big fat liars.

“I want to blame myself, I will for a long time but this isn’t about me is it”

You shake your head furiously, it was so far apart from him.

“What can I do? What can I do to make it better?” Carmen whispers, turning to face you fully now, eyes red and blonde curls messy across his brows.

“It’s not something you can fix Carm, you just got to let me do it. Let me walk away completely”

Carmen grits his teeth, “I should’ve made more attention-”

“How? Between renovating the Bear, organising the menu, fucking opening and maintaining the dinner service every night?”

Carmen shakes his head and you tug at his arm gently

“I didn’t let you notice Carm, I hid it well sometimes I even forgot about it. The bear, you? You let me forget, you let me feel so safe I forgot what he was doing to me”

Carmen reaches for your hand, holding onto it gently

You shake your head, shaking the tears along with it. You hadn’t so much as let yourself hear the truth of what had been happening, but it flowed out of your mouth like a river into Carmen.

“He got drunk one night” You whisper, biting your cheek as you bristle at the memory of it

“He got drunk one night, and started accusing me of these horrible things. Things I would never do. And when I tried talking to him he just turned to me with this look in his eyes, and it was so unlike him Carm. It was like someone else had come and taken his body, and his voice and his mouth”

“And when I reached for him he reached back. And then I suppose I got used to being afraid of him”

“I don’t know what changed that night, but it did. Or maybe he had always been that way and I had been to blind by the feeling of being wanted that I ignored it. But it got worse, he hit me, but he started controlling what I was doing. Always flinging my phone in my face so that he could look for something that wasn’t there, eyes always scrutinising me when I came home fucking exhausted from the Bear.”

“That was how it started, and I guess it never quite ended” You murmur, and when Carmen drags his thumb across your cheek, you understand the rage that he had kept covered for you.

“I’m going to hurt him. And that's more for me than it is for you, I know it and I don’t care. He doesn't get to walk away.” Carmen replies after a beat, and his voice is even. You can see his anger from before slipping into the darkness of his pupils, but his voice is clear and devoid.

“I know” You murmur

“And you’re going to stay with me till we get you a place. Tina and Syd offered and well the whole team, but I can’t-”

“I know, you can’t put them in danger”

“No. I can’t let it happen, you being alone, him somehow getting to you. You being hurt again-” Carmen shakes his head, grinding his jaw as he cuts his eyes away.

“Okay” You mumble, suddenly feeling the exhaustion of your secret that had weighed you down every day fall away.

The month after had passed quicker than any other time in your life. And for that you were grateful. You had packed a bag and moved into Carmen's apartment that night, and he and Richie had made good on their promise. They watched, as well as the rest of the Bear with a sneer as your fiance was carried into the police station, and you watched the mirror of your injuries multiplied across his face.

The police had been slow in taking action, even you know this, so you suppose their tight lipped expressions at the beaten man they found in your trashed apartment made up for that.

Carmen slept near the door for the first two weeks, a bat in his hand and his notebook of recipes filled with scribbled annotations. Tossing and turning enough times, made you wrap your blanket around yourself and join him by the door. You would wake up some nights, in a sweat from the terror of your nightmare imagining him somehow finding you, and you would join him those times as well.

The truth of all that had happened still had not yet been told, and you doubt that it ever will. But you were okay with that, and Carmen was too. And so when your fiance had been tried and sentenced, and the promise of broken bones hung over him even years after, Carmen had made no mention of finding you a place.

And so you stayed, and made a home for yourself. Let your shoes get muddled and clutter the hallway, have your toothbrush besides his own. Move in the last pieces of yourself that had been left in that prison to a place that could maybe change them.

You spent Thursdays with Richie, he’d wait at the foyer for you and he'd take you out for lunch like clockwork. Divulging in your week as he did his, he let you steal some of his cigarettes and you let him ramble to you. Richie had surprised you, when all was said and done. He had known what to do, knew how to talk to you, and you think you credit him to a lot of where you were now. You suppose he blames himself a little as well, so you don’t mind that Thursdays were his way of checking up on you.

You let the team act the same way, Tina bringing you plates of food and tupper wares of lasagna till Carmen's fridge was hard to open, Sydney calling every day, Ebra and Marcus making sure you had someone who could walk you home if Carmen had to stay back. And when you had finally had enough, they nodded and backed away and let you out of their grip.

You're crouched in the fire escape of Carmen's building, passing a bottle of wine that you had snuck from service.

“I visited him today”

“What?” Carmen replies, knowing immediately who you were talking about.

You shrug your shoulders, “I was too much of a mess to confront him, and the court proceedings left me too numb to even face him. But I went today, and I told him. What he had done, how he had changed.”

“But then he laughed and I punched him in his goddamn mouth”

“Atta girl” Carmen grins, his smile filling up the entire bottom of his face.

“So I can’t ever come back to the Boston Corrections facility, and boy am I glad. You know what this means though right?”

“Hm?” Carmen mumbles with a mouthful of street tacos

“You can’t ever get yourself thrown in prison” You chide, and you smile when he throws his head back in laughter

“Seriously Carm?” You bemoan, resting against the living room entryway

“Yes, the bed is strictly meant for you. What do you take me for? Letting a woman sleep on the couch” Carmen gruffs, carefully placing the duvet over the couch cushions.

“It’s been nearly a year since I’ve moved in, Carmen. I don’t think it's ridiculous to assume we can share a bed together”

Carmen grinds his jaw, swallowing back grunt at the thought of sharing a bed with you. As if it was no big thing, as if Carmen would be able to sleep with you next to him.

“It’s called being a host”

“I signed the lease 2 months ago, we’re technically de-facto” You raise your eyebrows, folding your hands across your chest

“The only time I’ll let the government decide what we are is when-if I put a ring on that finger” Carmen replies, the little slip causing him to cut his eyes from you and back to the duvet that was already folded.

You shake your head with a laugh “This you’re way of proposing Carm? Take a girl out for dinner first”

Carmen mumbles under his breath, flattening the duvet with his inked hands before his phone buzzes

“Goddamnit, that’s Richie.

“Leave that sofa and let's go down to meet our friends and have a nice time. God knows we’ve earned more than a few drinks at Nick’s” You reply, swiping Carmen’s phone

“Hey!”

“You weren’t even going to answer him” You roll your eyes.

You send Richie a text that was all apologetic and none grammatically correct as you shuffle out of your work pants into some jeans.

The team was already at the bear, halfway through the first round of drinks and you’d be damned if you let Carmen make the both of you late.

Carmen is in jeans as well, and the white shirt he always dons fits around his chest tightly. You can lie to yourself most days, but in times like this, where you both live in this domestic bubble your mind wanders.

You don’t let it too much.

But when you're visiting family, and you pass by the Louisiana welcome sign planted in the roadway, and the weather gets warm and the nights stretch out you let yourself think of him. You let yourself imagine a life where he was entwined, in you, your life, your days while you drink on the porch of your family home.

The thought of being in anything new scares you to no end, your past finds you in moments you least expect and dredges you down to the same feeling you felt when you were with him.

But Carmen was your past too wasn’t he? He was muddled and interlinked with all the memories that make your chest ache and your hands shake. Carmen didn’t feel new..you had already been living with each other for a year now, and you suppose the way you both flow into each other's lives was no different.

You’d be together, in the way you had always been but different also. You’d get to grow familiar of the taste of him, you’d get to feel him under your skin, beneath your fingers, and he’d sleep in that fucking bed for the first time in a year.

Then the sun would dip below the horizon, the sounds of the insects and birds would come back to you, and the creeping shadow of guilt and insecurity would remind you of who you were again.

You’d taste the bitter embarrassment of forcing Carmen to be that way with you, throwing your head back as you gulp down the beer in your hand as you try to stave away the taste. The dream disappears each time from you, like the oranges and reds that paint the Louisiana sky every evening.

“Hey, we going or what?” Carmen says, his eyes narrowing at, you noticing the way your eyes glaze over.

“Yeah, yes” You nod, swallowing the thoughts of him quickly as you finish tying your boots and let Carmen lock the door behind you.

The bar is surprisingly crowded on a Tuesday night, and you have to squeeze past crowds of leather wearing bikers before finally seeing the team seated in a long booth at the back.

“Finally!” Richie yells, hands in the air and his beer swishing out of the neck.

“We were about to send a search party” Tina smiles, looking toward you with a glint in her eyes when she notices Carmen’s arm at your back.

“Aren’t you guys like, a 2 minute walk from this place? Fak got here before you” Marcus replied, his old fashioned nursed in your arms.

“I had no involvement in our tardiness, he was too busy fixing his makeshift couch bed”

“Oh don’t tell me your still sleeping on that” Richie’s eyes widen

“You know that ain’t even a good couch right? We found it on the side of the road-“

“It’s not good for your back Carmen, all those cushions” Ebra shakes his head disapprovingly.

“It’s perfectly fine Ebra, and who would I be if I let a woman sleep on the couch?” Carmen grumbles, as both slide into the booth next to Sydney.

“I mean, there is an easy straightforward solution” Sydney murmurs, and everyone turns to her quickly.

“You could both just sleep in the same bed together” She replies, after looking at everyone dumbfounded.

“Only married people share a bed, that’s Sicilian tradition”

“Yeah, mixing work and personal life isn’t-“

“Mixing? They already live together!” Sydney replies, defensively.

“Wouldn’t be surprised if they’re already” Four murmured, before snapping his mouth closed when Carmen narrows his eyes to him.

“It’s not about fucking tradition, or whatever. I’m not gonna put her-you in that situation and make you uncomfortable”

“Why would you make me uncomfortable?” You murmur without thinking, and the booth goes quiet.

Carmen shakes his head, blinking as you remain quiet.

You wince at the silence, maneuvering your body quickly out of the booth as you almost fall out.

“Uh-I’m going to get a drink” You reply quickly

Carmen's body isn’t fast enough for his legs and he stands up from his position on the booth quickly, almost tumbling over.

“I’ll come with you”

You shake your head, forcing a tight smile as you wave him off.

“It’s okay, I know your order” You reply quickly, turning around without seeing the look on Carmen’s face.

You slide into one of the vacant barstools, signalling to the bartender as they make the rounds across the counter.

The rows of silver bracelets that hang around the bartender's wrists cling as they mix and shake drinks, and you let yourself get lost in the glittering light show of them reflecting off the bar lights. They distract you enough to not notice the man that now leers over you.

You flinch when you feel his hand touch your shoulder, and when you turn expecting one of the guys from the Bear you're taken back when you're met with a five o clock shadow and a stink of vodka.

“What's a girl like you doin’ all alone?”

“I’m good” You grit out from between your teeth

“Oh c’mon, you girls love to play hard but what you really need-”

“I said leave me alone asswhole” You spit, roughly moving his latched fingers from your shoulder.

The man sneers, his voice growing louder and sloppy as he begins to swear at you. His hands find their way to your waist, and the shiver of disgust turns into a familiar sharp pain as you shout out.

“You fucking bitch” The man starts, before you see the flash of dirty blonde curls cover your vision and the feeling of his fingers around you is wrenched off.

Carmen’s hands are around his neck, and he slams him into the wooden floors of the Bar with ease. He holds him there before turning to look up at you, his eyes blown out and his eyebrows furrowed behind his curls. Your chest heaves as you meet his gaze, and you watch as his eyes trail down your body, almost surveying the extent of your injuries and filing it into his mind so that it is all he thinks about when he breaks the skin across his knuckles.

You watch Carmen work, watch the way his shoulders and back contorts under every movement that lands a punch into the man's face. The buzzing chatter of the bar increases, as people begin to take notice of the shouts of frazzled swears and slobby slurs that leave the man's mouth. Someone screams there is a fight, and the bartender mutters obscenities as they try to push through the crowd.

Carmen lands punch after punch into his face, with no real sense of stopping as his movements grow more and more crazed with every crack of skin and dribble of blood that paints his hands. Carmen's eyes look determined, like he had a goal to all of this, and when Richie and the rest of the team pushes past the crowd and shouts out to him to stop, he looks up at you do you know.

You didn’t get to see what he had done to your husband, or how. But now, he takes his time with the man under him who kicks and fails, blubbering out blood and drool. He continues to stare at you, and the rest of the patrons look on in horror as the man under Carmen becomes disguised by the brutality of Carmens fists across his body. You hear the crack of bone, and when the man screams out a loose and garbled apology from the swollen tongue of his mouth, does Carmen flick his eyes down to him.

“You’re sorry? Yeah?” Carmen murmurs, softly

The man nods eagerly, his mouth filling with blood and his eyes swollen

“I’m not sure I believe that” Carmen replies, sending his foot into the mans stomach as he keels over

“Okay, Carmen that's enough” Richie calls out

“All I did was ask her a question!” The man screams out, his words jagged and unclear

“Hey, you shut the fuck up” Richie replies, before clocking his head to try and meet Carmens gaze who is back on you

“Look man, I get it. That one time wasn’t enough, but you can’t keep doing this”

Carmen grinds his teeth, as you look on in awe as his knuckles bleed violently, throwing his arm up and swinging down onto the man.

You got what you needed from this, and so when you step closer to Carmen and turn your head to the side you can only think of one thing

“I’m banned for at least 12 months”

You watch his fingers loosen around the man's bloody shirt, and Carmen wipes his hands across the man's chest before slowly straightening up from his crouched position.

“Get the fuck out, the both of you before the cops get here” The bartender grits out, shaking his head.

Carmen nods, “I’m not fucking sorry”

“Yeah yeah I know” The bartender rolls his eyes, before you grab Carmen's arm and push through the gawking faces of onlookers

You find a door leading out to a side alleyway, and you both fall out from the door into a combined heap.

“I had to do it okay? The way he was looking at you and that fucking hand around your side I couldn’t just let him-“ Carmen starts, chest heaving up and down and the splatter of spit and blood across his jaw

You don’t let him finish the rushed words that fall out of his mouth before you cover it with your own. Gripping onto the loose collar of his shirt, you drink down the anger and violence that had been festering on the both of you.

Carmen tastes sweet, like the cranberry jus he had been preparing, and rough too, like his worn workmen jacket and the pepper taste of his nicotine gum.

You realise then that you would never taste something as great as that, and that you would be chasing the feeling of how Carmen’s lips against your own vibrates through you from head to foot.

You pull away with quickness, chest heaving and eyes wide as you feel Carmen’s mouth warm your chest.

Carmen doesn’t blink, he stares at you, the brittle Chicago winter blowing his hair across his forehead and the distant sound of sirens and he stares at you.

“I’m not sorry” You whisper, pressing your lips together

“Good” Carmen replies before you’ve even uttered the last word.

And when you blink the cold smoke of his breath is over you again, his inked fingers cradle your head and he takes your mouth again.

You don’t stop the crash of your open mouths and dipping tongues until the warmth of Carmen covers you entirely, until November in Chicago feels like July.

taglist !

@kpopgirlbtssvt @hansfics @nolita-fairytale @parmforcarm @rooster-bradshaw

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sevs-corner · 5 months ago

Text

Tf 141 and their s/o having auditory sensory issues

A/N: Just putting it out there that this isn't tied to any condition, just their fav lil human just being too overstimulated or under-stimulated when it comes sounds (this is also unserious and just me thinking of scenarios thats happened to close to my own experiences lol) Masterlist here!

Johnny, despite his playful disposition, is actually quite acutely aware of your mannerism and behaviors as you hang out with him and the rest of the guys.

Not in the way of being hyper-aware of it, just noticing how you've picked up on certain habits whenever he finds himself around you.

Just like how you're inseparable in wearing those bluetooth earphones he gave you for Christmas one time.

He notices that you have plugged them inside your ear holes so often that he wonders when you even charge them. He sees how you put them on instinctively whenever you two go out on one ear. He sees you plug it in deep whenever he's vacuuming around the house or when the neighbors are mowing their lawn. He sees you have them on when they get too rowdy while watching a game.

Point being-- you were never seen without it. Why?

One day, he casually brings this up with you while the other guys were out on an errand.

He loves watching you sway your hips to the beat of whatever song you're listening to-- but now he's just curious, interest piqued per se.

Before he let his thoughts spiral, he stood up from his chair by the kitchen nook and approached you with the intent of wrapping his arms around you and swaying to the beat of your rhythm.

"Bonnie," he kisses your temple, "wha'cha listenin' to?"

You giggle at the tickled feeling of his kiss and the way his arms slightly tickled your sides, all the while letting go of the pan for a moment to remove your earphones and let it hang around your neck.

"Just some Dennis Van Aarssen jazz music," you hum, "wanna listen to it too, bubs?"

He shook his head, instead letting his one hand wander to the ear piece you removed and fiddling with it before you plugged it back in once more.

"Just wonderin'..." he mutters, "why ya' got this on all this time? Did ya' love my christmas present that much?"

He tries to smooth it over with a joke when he felt you tense in his arms, but this made those thoughts he tried to push back in his mind resurface-- making him more concerned as to why you reacted like that.

Could it be your way of coping? Or dealing with some sort of stress the four of them can't see? Or a problem you haven't told them about and you're using it as a means to avoid it?

"Bonnie," he stops swaying with you and lets you turn to face him in his arms, and he could see that unsure look on your face, brows furrowed and lips being chewed on-- he knew he had to be concerned now.

"Bonnie, please." he tries a plea to make you open up. "You know you can tell me right?" He starts rubbing his hands up and down your forearms to both comfort you and silently urge you to talk to him.

This makes you breath out a shudder, hand going to your other ear to remove the ear piece that was still playing some music. With a tap, you paused it and finally look up at Johnny, face painted in concern with such gentle, reassuring eyes that you couldn't bear to hide it from him- or the rest of the guys- about why you did so.

You guessed he finally took notice of often you wore it, with or without them-- too many times that you figured that they charted it enough to become a cause of concern for them. It doesn't help the fact that you felt like you got caught red-handed and are now supposed to confess about something you weren't even quite sure of yourself.

So, you try to explain, despite how messy your thoughts and feelings are.

"I just," you fumble, "well, you know me, right? I like music-- just a whole wide variety of it and it just always help, i don't know, help with my moods?" You strung your sentence along, hoping it was coherent enough for Johnnny to understand, and once he nods- giving you the confidence to keep going- you continued.

"It just helps me with working, y'know? Keeps me motivated and focused and all that." You fingers start wringing themselves in sweat and nervousness. "I just-- I don't know specifically why, I guess? It kinda just occupies my mind? Sometimes helps with blocking out with some stuff too..."

Johnny nods in understanding, licking his dry lips before talking as he felt his throat run dry at the thought of your last words.

"So besides liking it," he starts slowly and he sees you nod in confirmation, "it... helps you with work, keeps you focused and finish, aye?"

You nod again.

"But," he dry gulps, "it's helping with blocking out stuff-- what are those stuff bonnie?"

You bit your lip, avoiding eye contact by burying your face in his chest and you can hear him coo, patting your head and wrapping his other arm- still around your waist- tighter.

"We can wait bonnie," he whispers with chin on your head, "but just know that we're always here for ya'."

"I know," your voice muffled in his chest and you feel it rumble in a chuckle.

"Ya' can take your time with it," he reassures you, hand going from your head to your back, rubbing it slowly. "no need ta' tell me now-- was just curious, y'know?"

You smiled onto his chest, and take a moment in his embrace-- to sort out your thoughts and feelings that you've been keeping under wraps from them.

"We're back!"

Your calming moment gets interrupted by the three arriving back just in time for lunch, storming their way to the front to kitchen to greet you two in excitement yet that gets halted as they see you in the position you were both in.

"Darlin'," John immediately puts down his stuff and goes to approach both of you, eyeing Johnny who just shakes his head as he tries to search a response from him.

"What's going on?"

You feel another hand on your back, and you turn to face him to reply-- "just talkin'."

John takes note of how your eyes looked more dimmed than usual, and was about to ask again until Simon came in with a scoff.

"Cut the bull luv," Simon crosses his arms, "we all can tell somethings wrong."

You sigh back into Johnny's chest, a bit irritated at how quickly Simon picks up on things. Johnny glares at the brit who just raised an unimpressed brow at him, as if telling him to be a bit more gentler with his approach. Simon just shrugs, standing on his point as he juts his head to the side, signaling that they should take the conversation somewhere else.

Johnny rolls his head but nods anyways at the silent conversation they had. Kyle, seeing the exchange, picks up on and vocally propose to postpone lunch to chat for a bit.

All of you nod and transfer over to the living room, where you were quite practically made to sit in front of all four of them-- well, make that three while Kyle sits besides you, holding your hand in his as he absentmindedly traces shapes on it.

"So," John starts and directs it to you, "what's goin' on?"

You hum, unable to make eye contact with any of them as you try to clear your mind by fiddling with Kyle's fingers.

"It's with those earphones bonnie wears all the time," Johnny starts for you after some silence on your end, "just asked 'em about it and found out the reason why it plugged in their ears so much."

"Was he talking to you Johnny?" Simon grumbled into his ear, grabbing onto said man's neck to pull him up to his mouth and Johnny feels a shiver go down his spine as he replies a soft, "no."

"Then let her talk."

John agrees and this time, urges you to make eye contact with him by tipping your chin upwards to his gaze, to which was now eye-leveled with you as he sat crouched on the coffee table.

"You can tell us anythin' darlin'," he reassures, "you know we just wanna help you, right?"

You nod in response and finally got the momentum to talk-- to admit it.

"I told Johnny that it helps with blocking out some stuff," you explained softly, "those stuff being my thoughts that are like distracting sometimes or like, when my surroundings gets too loud and it feels like too many stuff is going on inside my head in one moment."

Once you see John and the others nod, you guessed they wanted to know more and let you continue first.

"It..." you gulp, "also makes me feel, I don't know, less perceptive of my surroundings? It feels like I take in too much and having something playing in ears and blocking out all that just helps with limiting that." You cringed at your explanation. "Like sometimes, I don't mind the noise but sometimes it also just-- gets too much, and I just found that by using these earphones are my way of coping about it."

You gripped onto the cord earphones, as you felt stifled by the fact you were relying on something so much to get by your day. To you, its frustrating-- having to rely on something just to "normally" go about your day, and without it, it feels near impossible.

You then felt a hand lay on top of yours, the one that was tightly gripping the cord so much so that your fists had gone white. You lifted up your head to Simon kneeling besides you, unfurling your hand gently before intertwining it with his, and you could feel yourself relax more significantly than before.

The tension of expressing all that tightening your body and with Simon's simple gestures, he released all of that.

"So you get overstimulated by noise?" Kyle asks besides you and you shrug.

"I guess? If there was one way to put it-- then, yeah."

"We're sorry we didn't notice it sooner darlin'," John apologizes for everyone, "you know we could have helped you with that, right?"

You nod hesistantly, "I do... its just I think its silly."

"I don't think its silly," Johnny mutters, "I think its something we should try and address, really."

You stare at him, shocked for a moment.

"Its a problem you're facing luv, then we'll definitely take it seriously." Simon brings your attention back to him by placing his hand on our cheek and gently turning it to his direction. "Got that?"

You nodded more confidently this time.

"Need a verbal confirmation from you, luv."

You let out shaky smile, whispering a small--"yeah, got it."

The boys feel a bit heartbroken at your problem, seeing how much its affected you and how blind they've been to reacting to it. They feel partially responsible, knowing that they were sometimes the cause of that "noise" you want to block out, knowing they weren't the quite the silent type whenever they stay at home with you. From loudly talking during meals to cheering and jeering at their sports teams to just obnoxiously doing chores around-- they felt awful. Just picturing you looking at those earphones for comfort, and feeling to burdened to tell them about it so you try dealing it with your own.

And you did. Only because it was weird- to you- to ask someone to lower their voices when it came to talking in their own home. If they couldn't be comfortable in their own home, their safe space, then where else would they?

It was quite a conundrum you were stuck so long on that relying on those earphone was the best way to deal with it-- for the moment. Until you figured out a way to tell them.

Which eventually arrived you to this moment-- explaining all of this to them like an embarrassing story of pissing your own pants like a little kid.

"Darlin'," John starts with a heavy breath, "you know its not a hard ask right? We're your partners-- we're supposed to care for each other."

"I do too," you mumble, "that's why it felt weird to ask of you guys to adjust for me when you're already doing so much."

Their eyes soften at this confession.

"And we'll do more," Kyle states, "if its for you, I don't mind doing the little things you ask of us, sweetheart."

The others agree and you pout.

"I can't do that."

"Then we'll do it for you whether you say so or not." Simon decides for you, wiping the unshed tears gathering at the corner of your eyes. "I can tell, don't worry luv."

You roll your eyes at the exuding confidence of Simon's ability to read people and you hear him chuckle at your reaction, feeling him pinch your cheeks too in retaliation.

"Brat," he teases, "I'll let you off this time."

You then feel his touch let go from yours and somehow, find yourself in the arms of John who was gazing at you with such empathetic eyes that you feel bad for feeling like this.

But that thought was immediately removed from your head with a poke at the side from Kyle, "none of that sweets," he says with a cheeky grin.

John supports by adding onto it, "don't overthink 'bout it darlin'." He presses his forehead against your pounding one, but soon tides over as you find yourself matching your breath and pace with his.

"We promised to take care of you and we'll do that, okay?" He looks for your confirmation and you mutter a small, "yeah" in response.

"Just gotta tell us sweets," Kyle approaches from behind and wraps you in a hug as well. "don't feel like you gotta rely on somethin' else to make it through yourself."

"Let's take baby steps, a'ight?" Johnny huffs with a smile on his face, jumping in the hug as well. "we can work through it together, right LT?"

With his insinuation, Simon rolls his eyes and joins the hug as well with you in the middle.

"Together," Simon promises snarkily, tightly wrapping his arms around everybody only for you all to loudly complain and dissipate from the short-lived group hug.

Simon lifted his hands up in mock surrender while you pointed a glare at him.

"Just sayin'," he puts it other there, "you can just tell us to shut up and we wouldn't mind."

The guys stifle a laugh at how the picture of you doing that to them looked like in their heads-- and they just can't imagine you, of all people, doing that.

If you could, you would have already slapped the smirk of this man's face but you just poked your tongue at him instead.

"I could never do something that mean," you sneer, "unlike you."

This makes them crack-up again, and this time-- it makes you smile too, and Kyle catches it. Quickly pointing it for the others to do the same with only John standing back and observing all of his partners playfully get along once more.

He's happy that they finally got you to tell them of that lingering problem that on the back on everyone's mind but, tackling it was a different story. A bit of a tricky situation that comes with much planning and adjustments on all sides-- which all of you were willing to work on.

But as long as it made sure that you were happy, loved, and care for-- they were willing to spend game nights lowly cussing at each other and sending silent death glares.

Maybe it might be even more fun for them that way.

A/N: a bit of a half assed ending ngl, i feel like makin a part 2 to this before it this one gets too long and flesh it out a bit better ksahdkjsfakhhsa (but we'll see where this goes)

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societyfolklore · 2 months ago

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Oh my God you're so talented !!!

Would you maybe also do an imagine, based on the song 'This Is The Last Time' by The Offspring, where Bucky and the reader somehow have an affair but every time they're in bed, they tell themselves it's the last time because they don't wanna ruin their friendship. But of course they're both always on each other's mind and neither of them can't stop thinking about the other one. So after another time sleeping together, it's enough for Bucky and he keeps pushing her back into his arms as she tries to leave before anyone notices, and he asks her to stop hiding and finally be his girl, and of course she says yes ? Smut and fluff please if you like ♥️

Awww Anon! your too kind... I wasn't acutally going to tackle this till later in the month, but I start brainstorming and this all started flowing...

Title: This Is The Last Time Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Every time, you swear it’s the last time. Every time, you promise yourself you won’t do this again. But neither of you can stop. And this time? Bucky’s done pretending. Word Count: 3k

Warnings: / Explicit Content /18+, Minors DNI, Reader is being unfaithful (with Bucky), Smut, Agnst, kinda Fluff, Unprotected Sex, Little possessive, little rough.

A/N: This got WAY more angsty then intended, not really fluff…I just couldn’t imagine this being all ‘cute couple’ when their 'in the wrong'

Your back hits the mattress with a quiet gasp, Bucky’s weight pressing into you before you can catch your breath. His lips are already trailing fire down your throat, hands gripping your hips like he can’t stand to let go- like he can hold you here forever if he just holds tight enough.

You don’t stop him.

You never stop him.

Even though you should.

Even though your heart pounds against your ribs with a different kind of ache as your nails rake down his back, as your lips part to let his name slip past them in a breathless moan.

Even though the moment you walk out that door, you’ll have to face the fact that you’ve done it again.

That you’ve ruined yourself for anyone else.

That you’ve ruined him, too.

This has made you both liars, dishonest traitors. Selfish. Indulgent.

And yet, neither of you ever stop.

Bucky’s hands move over your body like he owns it, like he’s memorizing every curve, every shiver, every breathless sound you make. He always does this- traces your skin like he’s afraid it’ll be the last time, like he’s committing you to memory even though you both know you’ll be back here again.

Because no matter how much you tell yourself you shouldn’t, you will.

His name leaves your lips like a plea, but you don’t know what you’re begging for. More? Less? A reprieve from the inevitable pain that comes with this? Or the agony of being without him?

He groans against your throat, fingers tightening on your hips as he grinds against you, and you feel the desperation in him, the same unbearable longing that burns through your own veins. This isn’t just need- it’s something more, something dangerous.

"You feel so good," he rasps, and you bite your lip because you shouldn’t want to hear it. But you do. God, you do.

You clutch at his shoulders, dragging him closer, and he goes willingly, burying his face against your neck like he can’t bear even an inch of space between you. His body is hot, solid, and familiar in ways that terrify you. You shouldn't know him like this. You shouldn’t crave him like this.

But you do.

Every. Single. Time.

And when it’s over, when you’re breathless and boneless and still tangled in him, you tell yourself this was it. The last time.

And yet, even as the thought crosses your mind, you already know it’s a lie.

You'd never wanted to be 'that person.' You swore that Bucky was just your friend. 'Oh Bucky, don't worry about him'... the same way he'd told you that the girl at the bar was 'just someone from back home' or 'Mandy, the new office intern, just wanted a mentor.' Like that was justification for letting yourself... God, you were so awful.

You told yourself this was the last time.

You tell yourself that every time.

But you think about him all the time- more than you should, more than is safe. At work, at home, in the quiet spaces between conversation. It’s not just the nights tangled up in him that haunt you- it’s the way his touch lingers long after he’s gone. The way your skin remembers where his hands have been, the phantom press of his fingers burning into you like a brand.

It’s in the way your pulse spikes when he brushes past you, the way your breath catches when he says your name. The way you feel his presence in a room before you even see him. How the weight of his gaze makes you hot under the collar, makes you shift in your seat, makes you question why you ever tried to resist this in the first place.

The way your friends don’t notice the stolen glances, the way the team doesn’t question the casual brushes of fingers, the way his eyes find yours across the room and hold, unspoken words thick between you. It’s in the laughter that lasts too long, in the way he lingers just a second too close. And you let it happen. You always let it happen.

You tell yourself it’s harmless. That no one notices. That the way your fingers graze his isn’t suspicious, that the way he straightens when you walk into a room isn’t obvious. That the way his voice drops just for you isn’t a sign. That you aren’t obvious. That you aren’t this person.

But then there are the nights.

The moments when the weight of it all is too much, when the need is unbearable, when logic doesn’t win. When you meet him in the shadows of the city, when his hands are on you before the door even closes. When your lips crash together in a kiss that is too desperate, too familiar, too needed.

And every time, you find yourself back in his bed. Back in his arms. Back in his sheets that still smell like him- like sweat and cedarwood, like the cologne he swears he doesn’t wear but that clings to your skin long after you’ve left.

And Bucky?

He never asks you to stay - how could he?

Never asks you to leave.

But he looks at you like he wants to.

He just watches you go with that same unreadable expression- like he’s memorizing every step you take, like he’s forcing himself to let you walk away even though everything in him screams not to.

Because this was never supposed to happen.

Because you’re supposed to be with someone else.

Because you both swore you wouldn’t ruin this.

Wouldn’t ruin each other.

But you already have.

"This is the last time," you whisper against his lips when he kisses you again, desperate and hungry, like he can’t hear the lie laced in your voice.

His fingers thread through your hair, tugging just enough to make you gasp. "No, it’s not."

Your stomach clenches. It has to be.

But then his mouth is on yours again, and the thought disappears in the haze of whiskey and warmth, in the way his body presses against yours like he belongs there.

Like you belong to him.

A low growl rumbles from Bucky’s chest as his lips crash against yours, his fingers skimming down your sides before gripping your hips with an insistence that sends a jolt of heat straight to your core. His movements are rough, his need palpable, his touch possessive in a way that tells you he’s tired of this push and pull. He’s done pretending, done holding back, and every deliberate press of his body against yours is a reminder of that.

"Sick of this shit, doll," he mutters, lips brushing the corner of your mouth before trailing down your jaw, your throat. "Sick of watching you walk away like I ain't already under your fuckin' skin."

You gasp as his teeth scrape against your pulse point, his tongue soothing over the bite before his lips claim your skin again. "Bucky- "

"Nah, don't start with that Doll," he cuts you off, voice thick with heat and irritation. "Don't tell me this is the last time. Don’t feed me another lie while you're shaking for me, while you're soaking for me. You think I don’t know you by now?"

Your head tips back, surrendering to the way his fingers dig into your flesh, the way his thigh presses between your legs, coaxing a whimper from your lips. "I- "

"Yeah? You what?" He grinds his hips against yours, his cock heavy and hard between you, and it steals the breath from your lungs. "You need me to fuck the denial out of you? That it, sweetheart? Need me to remind you who it is you're always thinkin’ about when you're lying next to him?"

You let out a broken sound, caught between resistance and the inevitable, your breath stuttering as the last of your hesitation crumbles. His grip tightens, his body pressing against yours, grounding you in the moment, in him. He watches the war in your eyes, sees the fleeting flicker of doubt before it vanishes, replaced by something raw and desperate. And that’s all it takes. The moment you stop fighting, the moment you give in- Bucky takes over.

Bucky flips you onto your stomach in one swift motion, his weight pressing into you, keeping you exactly where he wants you. His palm slides down your spine, slow and possessive, before gripping your ass and yanking you back against him.

"You feel that?" His cock grinds against your ass through the thin fabric of your underwear. "That’s all for you, baby. It always is. And you’re gonna take every inch of me like a good girl, aren’t you?"

You moan, arching back against him, craving more, craving him.

"That's what I fuckin' thought," he rasps, fingers hooking into the waistband of your panties before tearing them down your thighs. He groans at the sight of you, at the way you're already dripping for him. "You’re gonna let me ruin you, doll. Like I do every damn time. But this time- " He nudges your legs wider, dragging the head of his cock through your slick folds, teasing, taunting. "- this time, you're going to forget about him, and just feel me." He pushes inside you in one smooth, deep stroke, tearing a desperate cry from your throat. Your fingers clutch at the sheets, your body arching, trying to take more, take everything.

"Bucky- oh, fuck- "

He sets a punishing pace, his grip on your hips bruising as he pulls you back to meet every thrust, as he forces you to feel him, to know him in the way you’ve both been denying for far too long.

"That’s it, baby, take me," he growls, one hand sliding around to press against your stomach, feeling himself move inside you. "You feel that? That’s how deep I am inside you. That’s how deep you are in me."

You’re falling apart beneath him, but it’s not enough- not for him. He reaches forward, gripping your jaw and tilting your face to the side, forcing your dazed, pleasure-drunk eyes to meet his.

"Say it," he demands, his pace never slowing. "Say you want me. Say you're mine."

Your lips part, a strangled sound escaping as pleasure crashes through you, but you don’t say it.

Not yet.

Later, when it’s over- when your body is still trembling from the way he ruined you yet again, when his fingers are still tracing lazy circles against your bare skin-

"I keep thinking about you."

The words punch the air from your lungs, a confession and a curse all at once.

"Even when I don’t want to. Even when I try not to. You’re just... there." His voice is quiet, but there’s something shattered in it, something that makes your stomach twist into knots. "I can’t fucking stop, doll. And I know you can’t, either."

You sit up, reaching for your clothes, but his hand catches yours, his grip firm but not forceful the sheet draped over his lap shifting as he pulled you back.

"Don’t."

His voice is thick with sleep and emotion, raw and pleading.

You freeze, trying to steel yourself. This has to stop.

But does it? The thought slips unbidden into your mind, unwanted but persistent. Because if it had to stop, wouldn’t it have already?

"I can’t do it anymore if you’re going to keep being like this."

You exhale, shaky and unsure, hands resting over his where they’re wrapped around you. His thumb moves, stroking slow circles over your wrist, grounding you in the moment, in him.

"You don’t mean that," you whisper, but the words feel empty even as you say them.

Bucky is tired of pretending. Tired of watching you walk away. Tired of watching himself let you.

"Yeah, I do," he murmurs against your skin. "I’m done pretending this is nothing. I’m done pretending you don’t mean everything to me."

Your heart is in your throat, hammering so hard it might break you apart.

"Stay," he says softly. "Just stay, sweetheart."

You shake your head, voice barely audible. "This is wrong. We’re gonna hurt each other- "

"We’re already hurting," Bucky cuts you off, pulling you back against his chest. His hands tighten, strong and certain. "Just tell him it's over. You're not happy."

Bucky’s breath is warm against your skin, his words leaving no room for doubt. His hold on you is possessive, but not cruel. Not desperate. Just real. Just him.

And you know he’s right. You haven’t been happy for a long time, not in the way you should be, not in the way you are when you’re with him. And the worst part? You don’t even know if you were ever truly happy before him.

"You don’t want to stop, and neither do I."

His lips brush your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

His hands tighten just enough to remind you that you’re still his, even if you won’t admit it yet.

"I think about you when I wake up, and when I close my eyes at night," he confesses, voice rough and aching. "I think about you when I’m in the middle of a mission, when I’m halfway across the world, when I should be focused on anything else. But I can’t. Because it’s you. It’s always you."

His voice drops lower, the rawness in it making your breath hitch.

"So stop hiding from me, sweetheart. Let me love you."

You fight it for half a second-

Then you break, collapsing into him, letting yourself fall into the inevitable.

Your hands curl over his shoulders your body pressing against his, and his mouth crashes against yours in a kiss that is as much surrender as it is possession. His fingers tangle in your hair, his lips moving over yours with a desperation that speaks of months- years- of wanting and waiting and finally having.

But this time, something shifts. The urgency is still there, but it’s not just lust, not just stolen moments between shadows and secrets. This time, it’s something more. It’s Bucky refusing to let you slip through his fingers again. It’s his hands sliding over your skin with reverence, his kisses softer, slower- like a promise.

His lips press to your forehead before trailing down your temple, his breath warm as he whispers,

"Not letting you go this time Doll."

You shudder beneath him, overwhelmed by the raw honesty in his voice, the way he holds you like you’re something precious, something worth keeping. His body settles against yours, and when he moves, when he fills you, there’s no rush- only the deep, aching need to feel.

Bucky rocks into you, deliberate and unhurried. His fingers lace through yours, pinning them above your head, his weight grounding you, keeping you with him, for him.

"No more sneaking around," he murmurs, lips brushing the shell of your ear. "No more pretending. I want you, all of you. I don’t care what it takes. I’m not losing you."

Your breath hitches, and you want to argue, to tell him that it’s complicated, that it’s dangerous- but you can’t. Not when he’s looking at you like that, like you’re his whole damn world. Not when he’s touching you like he’s been starving for you, like this is the only thing that’s ever made sense.

He thrusts deeper, his forehead pressing to yours, and your fingers tighten in his grasp as a moan escapes your lips. "Say you want this," he pleads, voice thick with emotion. "Say you want me- not just for tonight, not just until morning. Say you’re mine."

Tears burn the back of your eyes, not from sadness, but from the sheer weight of it- the gravity of what he’s asking, of what you already know to be true.

"I want you, Bucky," you whisper, voice shaking as your body trembles beneath him. "I’m yours."

A sound escapes him, something almost like relief, and then his lips are on yours again, claiming you, owning you in a way that feels nothing like possession and everything like home.

And this time, when he pulls you closer, when his thrusts grow slow and deep, when he groans your name, it’s not about proving a point, not about taking or reminding or demanding. It’s about being- about having.

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thirstkanaphan · 2 months ago

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Some more thoughts about Youth

(be warned, I've had an edible)

Here's Mingi singing Youth on BIBIM-POP (full ep here)

I love this version of Youth and Mingi has never sounded better. His tone is so good and he brings a mellow flavor to this performance that we don't see when he's on stage. I also love how deep his voice gets at the end.

I also really appreciate having the English translation because the lyrics are really quite insightful.

The line adults use the word youth to say that sadness is happiness / to enjoy the moment makes me suspect that Mingi was told by many adults in his life not to complain about his struggles...that the pain he was experiencing was incorrect and that he was actually really happy, right? You're an idol, aren't you happy? The way certain adults deny the pain young people feel and insist that this is the happiest time in their lives. Mingi asks of his Youth: Did you enjoy these times? Did the happiness outweigh the pain? Bear in mind, Mingi wrote this song when he was 22 and on hiatus. This is 22-year-old Mingi talking to his younger self, not the 25-year-old singing the song.

It's hard to even sleep, yeah

I wonder if the "yeah" isn't meant to be a lyrical punctuation to the line; instead, might we also think of it as a question mark: It's hard to even sleep, yeah? Mingi asks of his Youth, To make dreams a reality, yeah? and Youth responds: I'm too young, it's too hard right now.

We know Mingi's a fan of emo music from the '00s (my teenage years) and his playlists include Fall Out Boy, Simple Plan, The Killers, Green Day, and Linkin Park. This musical influence is more apparent in Tunnel, where he is especially candid and vulnerable in his lyrics, but Youth also frequents the same space. The lyrics are pure emo, even if the sound is smooth r&b.

What did I do wrong? With a drink, can it be shaken off? We don't know the answer and we never will, but this may be the first time I've ever heard reference to drinking in a kpop song. It's such a distressing sequence of lines, and you can't help but think of Mingi's hiatus and the strength it took to come back.

Then you exit that chorus to the sound of Yunho's voice soaring above the instrumental track. On this night, night when even the moon cries / Please find it, somewhere in my heart / Is there a place I can rest? It's such a devastating refrain, and he puts those words in Yunho's mouth.

The wind of my twenties / when I was alone

jeeeeeez what a line. I'm reminded of Seonghwa's letters to atiny ("Before I knew it, the cold that seemed never-ending made me take off my thick coat and all of a sudden, bright flower petals occasionally began to warm up the world. I, who want to resemble that worm season, am now celebrating my 27th spring.") Seonghwa has a poet's spirit but Mingi has such a good grasp of drama. The wind of my twenties / when I was alone is pure emo but it nudges at something deeper and more existential. Mingi is still in his twenties; he'll continue to be in his twenties for a while. The line implies future knowledge of the right-now Mingi. He's still going through it.

Of course I'm going to connect this back to Yungi, because the two got very candid in their conversation for Off The Record. Yunho praises Mingi for his growth and development, but remarks that Mingi has lost some of his innocence. I wish I could see more of that happiness from you, Yunho says.

Mingi's response is so interesting (although I'm sure a native Korean speaker may be able to clarify from the subs): The thing is, it's not really innocence, I think I just adapted...I'm not the type to lean on others, because I only trust in myself.

Yunho's sad and fond face is soul-crushing

Yunho hopes to see more of Mingi's youthful joy and wishes that Mingi could look back, reflect on yourself, and refresh. Maybe it's the edibles talking, but that kind of sentiment sounds familiar. Mingi has had to protect himself from people who've said similar things. Maybe I'm stepping way too far into speculation, but Yunho puts himself in the role of adults who use the word youth [innocence] to say that sadness is happiness, to enjoy the moment. Shouldn't Mingi feel upset?

But then Mingi says I think I felt what kindness and thankfulness is from you about Yunho. Yunho, who took him to lunch and bought him beef in high school; who traveled across town to eat with Mingi and waited for him to finish his meal; Yunho, who experienced the same highs and lows of pre-debut and idol life...

Yunho who called him nearly every day of his hiatus.

Yes, as in all things, Yunho is the exception. In his 8 Face episode, Mingi compares him to a "savior-like entity."

Yunho has been keeping an eye on Mingi since predebut. Here's a letter he wrote for Mingi which Mingi reads aloud during a live:

Look at Yunho, the way the embarrassed smile drops from his face.

Mingi owes Yunho his life, however you interpret that statement, and it means something that Yunho is someone from whom Mingi learned a kindness that got him through the worst of those months. It's for that reason that only Yunho could get away with asking Mingi to enjoy his youth.

From an interview with Jongho published in December 2024:

I don't usually write this much but if you have any thoughts or opinions about Youth, I'd love to hear them!

#ateez #song mingi #jeong yunho #ateez meta #mingi #yunho #yungi

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formulakracing · 11 months ago

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xv. everlong - t.w.

pairing: female driver!reader x toto wolff

word count: 3.0k

warnings: age gap relationship, team principal x driver relationship, cursing, marijuana use, alcohol use, toto being down bad per usual, light angst, toto is not the best person for a minute, mentions of divorce/separation, some lighttttt smut (the heavy smut will be included in the next chapter! promise!) oral (f! receiving), some realllll sweet n tender shit, yadayadayada

a/n: this chapter is probably one of my top five favorites, if not favorite chapter of this series. although it would be pretty hard to top chapter xii., i really enjoyed writing this one! to set the mood for the chapter, i have a few song recs to listen to as you read! please try to listen to them in order, as they really set the tone/vibe of golden girl x toto! <3 also, a huge shoutout to the anon who inspired me to write about gg x toto smoking together!! :)

little hell - city and colour

alkaline - sleep token

one way (feat. t-pain) - 6lack, t-pain

everlong - foo fighters

skin - mac miller

prev. | next.

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“toto, tell me. are you in love with her?”

yes, susie. i am.

she is a divine being, bringing me to my knees at the sight of her. she is the sun, a bright, radiant beacon of light and warmth. her touch alone makes me weak. my mind is consumed with thoughts of her every waking second. i’ve been apart from her for so long, i can barely hold it together right now.

the team principal inhales sharply, letting out a shaky breath, “i – i can’t answer that.”

“you are, aren’t you?” susie’s expression is unreadable, “you’re in love with her. if this was just some fuck you wouldn’t be acting this way.”

there it was again.

that pang of jealousy deeply interwoven in her fiery retort.

“susie,” toto begins, scrambling for formulate some sort of coherent response, “i don’t know what to say or how to respond in a manner that will make this any more–”

“no,” she holds up a hand, “you do not have to explain yourself to me any further. i know you love that girl. you wouldn’t have let her pull that little stunt if you didn’t.”

“it wasn’t just some little stunt–”

“exactly,” susie shakes her head, tears glistening in the light, “it wasn’t just some publicity stunt to you. i could tell that you enjoyed that kiss, toto. you were practically making out with her for fuck’s sake.”

“susie,” toto rises to his feet, “we made an agreement, remember? we wanted this. both of us.”

“but that doesn’t mean i have to act like it doesn’t tear me apart seeing you with someone new. someone younger than me. someone who is far more beautiful than i ever will be. someone who can bear more children for you. someone who will–”

“susie, stop. cut that shit out right now.”

“why?” she demands, whipping her head towards the team principal, “why are you so stone cold as i’m falling apart in front of you? why does this not bother you?”

“because,” toto coughs, clearing his throat, “i don’t love you anymore. that’s why. all of those feelings, they’re long gone. when i look at you, i don’t feel love. you’re one of my good friends, one of my business partners, and the mother of my children. i feel respect, and a deeply rooted companionship. but i just don’t feel love. not even an inkling.”

her eyes narrow, “oh, so i was wrong. you’re not just in love. you’re in deep.”

“and i’m not going to stand here and play childish little games,” the team principal scoffs, “you’ve never acted this way before, and i am not sure why this girl is bothering you so badly when i’ve mentioned other women in the past.”

susie’s lower lip curls into a sneer, “did it ever occur to you that this bothers me so much because i know her? because we were friends at one point? she has a relationship with the academy, toto. i’ve met with her several times. we’ve spoken on a regular basis at one point. it just feels wrong.”

“well,” toto shrugs, “she’s going to be around for a while, susie. you may want to get used to seeing her face around here.”

“you’re fucking ridiculous,” susie snarls, raising a pointed finger at the team principal, “you’ve been a terrible father lately. you’ve been a horrid team principal. and the worst part, you’ve completely lost it. ten years ago, you would have never put your reputation on the line like this.”

the team principal remained silent as his former wife gathered her composure, cursing under her breath as she slung the strap of her purse over her shoulder, nearly stomping out of the office. the department surrounding his space probably eavesdropped on the entire heated exchange, but he didn’t care.

after monaco, it seemed like he had less and less fucks to give these days.

licking his lower lip, toto almost crashes down into his chair, collapsing as a groan rumbles in his chest.

so much for her taking that news well.

and if he happened to marry this girl?

oh god.

susie would probably have a conniption. fuck, she would probably ransack his entire office, defacing each and every one of his items. shit, she would even probably try to find a way to get him fired somehow.

well, he didn’t entirely blame her. it wasn’t like he kept her in the loop about his personal life or romantic relationships. although they had a pretty amicable relationship after their separation, the subject of new love was always like rubbing salt in a wound.

a wound that toto thought had healed. but apparently not. her explosive outburst in the office reaffirmed that.

there was a pang in his chest, squeezing in his heart as he hunched over the desk, burying his head in his arms.

oh, how he missed his golden girl.

god, wasn’t that fucked up.

his ex-wife of nearly a decade just basically professed she still harbored romantic feelings for him, and here he was, fretting as he yearned over his new love.

he needed to see her, oh so badly.

but how? although they were only approximately forty miles apart, it felt as if there were thousands upon thousands of miles between them. it was more than likely due to the nature of their current situation, but it left him aching for one singular thing.

her touch.

fuck, he craved her touch. the light drag of her nails against his skin as her fingertips traced along his toned back and shoulder blades. the wisp of her hair as she buried her head into his chest. the ghost of her mouth of his as their bodies intertwined together.

her presence alone was enough to send him spiraling.

it wasn’t like they were forced to go their separate ways between monaco and montreal. it was just suggested heavily by their pr teams that they do so, just so that williams and mercedes could launch their own personal investigations in regards to their relationship.

and for the time being, it appeared that things were all cleared. they had broken no rules. they didn’t breach any contracts. well, not entirely. mercedes, williams, and the fia did not need to know about the hours the two of you spent discussing your decision to join toto at mercedes.

besides, they did not need to know that you were naked, basking in the warmth of him, body tangled with his when you made that decision.

the official contract talks would have to be scheduled here soon.

after all, toto was running out of time.

he needed that second driver.

and he had you. it wasn’t entirely official quite yet, but he knew he had you.

time to start making things official then, huh?

not like he had to really, you already did that for him in monaco.

plucking his phone off his desk, the team principal starts to type out a lengthy text message, swallowing the lump in his throat as his thumb hovers over the send icon.

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“what are you feeling for dinner over there, eeyore?”

alex’s voice snaps you out of your zombie-esque trance, your head swiveling as you glance over your shoulder, “i’ll just eat a little bit from whatever you make. i’m not really hungry.”

“oh come on,” alex rolls his eyes, yelling from across the kitchen, “you have to eat something! fuck our diets right now. what do you want? i’ll literally make anything for you. i am begging you to eat something.”

“it’s rare for alex to beg,” a giggle sounds from your right, light and airy, “it wouldn’t be a bad idea though, to eat a little something.”

exhaling, your gaze falls on lily as she sits beside you, perched in the plush chair, “i’m just not that hungry.”

“is it because of everything going on?” lily cocks her head, reaching for her wine glass, “i mean, i can’t imagine what it must be like to be you right now. you have to focus on your racing, your diet, keeping up on social media. yet, you also have to factor in your parents, your briefings, and your personal life. it must be a lot, considering what happened in monaco. by the way, what did your parents think? were they shocked? happy for you?”

“well,” your eyes drift over to the ledge of the balcony, taking in the way the sun was beginning its descent over the horizon, “they weren’t necessarily jumping for joy that i happened to fall for a fifty-two year old man. i think they’ll feel a lot better once they meet him. toto has this charm that has draws you in. i’m sure he would win them over in a heartbeat.”

“just like he did with you?” lily teases, leaning over to prod you playfully, “you know, you could have just told me and alex about him. we would’ve kept things private for you!”

“i know,” you bite the inside of your cheek, “but there was just so much risk involved with telling people about it. and i was scared of how you guys would have reacted, what you would have said, or if you would have told james or the fia or–”

“hey,” lily places a tender hand on your shoulder, “we don’t always choose who we fall in love with. we can choose how we act on those feelings, but that is just ultimately something for the universe to decide. you just happened to fall for a devastatingly handsome, recently divorced team principal.”

“i heard that!” alex calls, earning an eye roll from lily.

“i’m just trying to help her feel better! we both know that man is gorgeous!”

“i miss that gorgeous man,” you bring your knees to your chest, resting your chin between them, “i know we didn’t have to spend the brief break apart, but our media teams advised us to. you have no idea how badly i’m fighting the urge to just tell him to take the next flight to–”

yet, before you can finish your sentence, your phone vibrates on the table, notifying you that you had a new text message.

eagerly, you snatch it up, eyes scanning over the screen.

i miss you, beautiful girl. i’m not sure where you are, but i am taking the next flight to monaco as soon as i possibly can. i should be there by tonight. could we rendezvous at my place? if you need me to pay for your own ticket, i will. just let me know.

“what did he say?” lily peers over your shoulder.

“he’s coming to monaco,” your heart skips a beat as the realization washes over you, “wait, i’m already here! he’ll be here tonight! he wants me to meet him at his place.”

“well,” lily’s eyes glimmer, a bright smile enveloping her features, “looks like you need to eat, take a shower, and get ready missy! alex, will you start your shower for me?”

“i already heard the entire thing,” the driver tuts as he strolls onto the balcony, two plates in hand, “eat first, and then i’ll start a shower for you. from the sound of it, it seems like you’ll have a long night ahead, so you need to eat up before you get your guts rearranged.”

heat flourishes into your cheeks at his comment, “i – oh my god. you don’t know that for sure.”

“i think i do,” a smug paints his lips as he sets the plate down beside you, “there’s a reason why you’ve been so glowy and bubbly these last few weeks. i know you’re not smoking or doing any drugs, so there’s only one other thing i can think of.”

“i cannot stand you,” you mumble, sheer embarrassment taking hold.

“and that’s why you’re sitting down,” alex lets out a chuckle, “don’t worry buttercup, the teasing is only going to get worse from here on out.”

although you were more than grateful for alex allowing you to stay with him in monaco between the two races, it did have it pitfalls. and that was one of them. ever since you told him about toto, the teasing was relentless. it was never malicious, always lighthearted. how an older brother would pester his younger sister. which, you didn’t mind.

ever since the meeting with williams, your emotions had been nothing but a tumultuous torrent of anxiety, regret, and well, terror.

you were terrified that toto was going to choose preserving his career over your relationship. after all, you couldn’t blame him. he was one of mercedes’ spearheads, one of the most respected and dominant forces among the paddocks in his role as ceo and team principal.

he was a father as well, with three children whom he loved dearly. he was perceived as a family man, who often toted jack on his shoulders or brought him along with to races. additionally, you couldn’t shake the one thing that had been gnawing away at you, completely tearing you apart.

what did susie think of you? what did she think of your relationship? was she going to try and win toto back? did she still have feelings for him?

if they happened to meet in the time you were apart, what did she say? how did he respond? was he guilty somehow? was he going to admit to you that after seeing her, some emotions resurfaced?

god, your head was your own personal little hell.

and who knew if you were ever going to crawl out.

however, deep in your heart, you knew that you needed to see him. you needed to tell him the very thing that had been clawing at the depths of your very conscience.

you loved him.

and he needed to know.

and by god, you were determined to tell him.

well, it looked like tonight would be your perfect opportunity.

time to prepare for the worst.

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“go on, take another hit.”

your fingers pinch the rolled paper, bringing it to your mouth. lashes fluttering, you inhale, the harshness of the contents flooding your lungs, burning your throat. once you were satisfied with the intake, you purse your lips, smoke billowing out.

“good girl,” he hums, fingers squeezing your thigh, “i missed you, you know that?”

the corners of your lips curl into a blissful grin, “and i missed you. so much. more than you’ll ever know.”

the lights of monaco glitter in the distance, casting a soft glow over the ocean as the waves lap the shore, foam encasing the gritty shore. hints of tangerine poke out from above the horizon, promising of the sun’s arrival. the scent of marijuana lingers in the air as toto taps the joint against the tray, his brows knit together with concentration.

above you, stars gleam, dotting the indigo hue that swathed the sky. all around, the mediterranean sea stretched for miles, the lights from various boats and yachts blinking, a gentle reminder that you were not alone.

although, you were in your own little world, utterly enamored and allured by the man beside you.

toto arrived to monaco around eleven-thirty p.m., not arriving to his luxurious property until about midnight. although it was well later than you expected, you were bright-eyed and bushy tailed, oh so ready to reunite with the team principal.

even though it was well past the hours he was normally up and about, he offered to take you on his yacht, where the two of you could just spend some time alone together.

of course, it was an offer you couldn’t refuse.

especially when he mentioned that he had picked up a “special treat for his special girl.”

that treat was a tin of five pre-rolled joints, neatly packed together. the papers encasing them were oh so cute, a light blue with little fluffy, white clouds. the tin itself was to die for, with snoopy as the red baron, a cartoon bubble to his right stating, “up, up, and away!”

his plug was definitely a woman, but you didn’t mind one bit. after all, with packaging that cute? how could you be upset? toto informed you that the tin was yours to keep, and he was more than happy to keep it filled for you. you just had to say the word, and he would contact his connection.

smoking was probably the last thing you should be doing between races, but it wasn’t like the fia was testing the drivers regularly. even though the testing was random, toto informed you that once he got the word of any potential tests, he would find a way to let you know.

you guys had already bent the rules enough, so why not bend them a little bit more?

“hey,” his is low, so gentle it was barely audible, “can i tell you something?”

he’s situated between your legs, spreading your thighs apart as you sit on the sundeck, the cool surface sending a shiver down your spine as it meets with heated skin.

“of course,” you murmur, a hand connecting with his cheek, “what is it?”

“well for one, i want to fuck the shit out of you right now,” his eyes are glossy, pupils dilated as they hone in on you, “but i need to tell you something first.”

there’s a slight stubble as it grazes the pad of your thumb, his plush lips parting ever so slightly, “what is it, toto?”

he’s lowered now, his mouth hovering above your pussy, the thin fabric of your shorts the only barrier between his lips and sweet, sweet, relief. the relief he had been desperate for these last few days, pacing back and forth in his office as he attempted to maintain his composure. to keep it together.

but here you were now, looking oh so breathtaking as the moonlight cascaded down, illuminating your skin with a beautiful silvery hue.

you were a goddess.

a truly divine being. the one he wanted to worship every single second, every single day for the rest of his life. the one who brought him to knees. the one who made him so utterly weak.

he was in far too deep now, deeply lost and consumed by you.

and god, he never wanted to go back.

even if he wanted tried, he knew he couldn’t.

and now, there was only you in this moment.

drawing him in, coaxing him to fall even deeper.

“i love you.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

taglist: @k3ira13 @prettiest-at-the-party @martwll @annewithaneofthegreengable @zoeyjadetice2010 @sinners-98-world @laura-naruto-fan1998 @nebarious @joalslibrary @statuewoman @strangegirl974 @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @m-1234 @whoisss @msbyjackal @annaaepf1 @paigelouise @bborra @upsteadsstuff @omgsuperstarg @younxii @toldyouitwasamelodrama @kravitzwhore @persona1lies @pucksandpower @gisellesprettylies @wonderwolffs @xxforeverinadayxx @theseerbetweenus @simply-the-best23 @ringdingdingdingx @swifth0lic

if you would like to be added to the taglist, let me know! as always, thank you all so much the continuous support! <3 i love y'all so much!

#toto wolff #toto wolff x reader #alkaline #alkaline: female driver! x toto wolff #formula one #formula 1 #formula one x reader #f1 x reader #toto wolff x y/n #toto wolff x you #williams racing #mercedes amg petronas #female driver au #formula one fanfiction #f1 fanfiction #alex albon #lily he

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beenreidingaboutyou · 6 months ago

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High Infidelity

who? Spencer Reid x fem! reader

content warnings: loveless marriage, affair, implied divorce, probably something else I've forgotten

a/n: This one is based off of Taylor Swift's High Infidelity. I haven't written anything nonacademic in a while and this is my first Spencer fic so please please please be gentle with me. Formatting is a little wonky but I'm trying, I promise (there's not a good divider on this one because I'm trying to get it uploaded before I leave work). This one is bit nontraditional, but that's because I have a companion piece in the works that'll focus more on Spencer and reader's relationship. I also have a different version of this song fic that I've started, but wanted to post this one first because I know Margot @pathologicalreid doesn't like the Maeve storyline and this one's for her!

word count: 1.0k

Your moment of bliss in Spencer’s arms was interrupted by the alarm coming from your phone.

“Shit, I gotta get going. He’s going to expect me home soon.”

Spencer reluctantly let you get up, “I don’t understand why you won’t just leave him.”

This wasn’t the first time Spencer had made the suggestion. Honestly, he was right. You didn’t have a good reason for staying with your husband and yet you did. So here you were, frantically getting dressed so you could go home and spend another night with a man you didn’t love when all you wanted was to stay with Spencer.

“Spence, I don’t have time for this conversation right now.”

He sighs and watches as you pull your hood up, covering your face before you leave his place.

As you open the front door to your home , you plaster on a fake smile and try to act pleased when you spot your husband in the living room. “Hey honey, how was work?”

“Where have you been?” your husband replies, ignoring your greeting.

“At book club. I sent you a text to remind you I’d be at the library.”

“I know you weren’t there. We haven’t been on a date in a while so I thought I’d meet you there and take you to dinner at that restaurant you like downtown. I waited outside for you, but you never came out.”

“You must have just missed me, we got done a little early tonight.”

“I was worried that might’ve happened so I went in to ask about you.Barbara looked shocked to see me. She told me you haven’t been to Thursday book club in months. So let me ask again, where were you tonight?”

You look away, unable to come up with a good excuse.

“I deserve an answer, y/n”

“Okay, you’ve got me. I went on a run. I needed to clear my head.”

“I do so much for you and you can’t even be bothered to tell me the truth?” your husband steps closer to you, demanding your attention.

You don’t respond, your mind wandering to exactly how you’d ended up here.

You had only started dating Brad because your mom wouldn’t stop pestering you about getting a boyfriend. After a year or so, just dating wasn’t good enough. Both Brad and your mom began dropping hints about marriage and you were just along for the ride. You would’ve left Brad at the altar, but your grandmother was so happy that she’d get to see your wedding you couldn’t bear to let her down. She passed away a few months later. That was when reality set in and you realized you’d doomed yourself to being a bored housewife. Brad made so much money at his job that he insisted you stay at home all day, “You’ll need to get used to it. After all, we both agreed you’d be a stay-at-home mom and this is good practice.” You went along with it, like you always did whenever Brad suggested something. Not because you were weak-willed, it was more like you were just… numb.

At least, until you met Spencer Reid. You had been desperate to get out of the house, like you always were, and decided to go grab a coffee from the cafe down the street. With your coffee in hand, you planned to go to the park or window shop. Something, anything other than go back to your empty home. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t notice Spencer, bumping into him and dropping your coffee.

He apologized instantly, as if it were his fault that you hadn’t been paying attention. After buying a replacement coffee, the two of you had talked for hours, quickly losing track of time. That coffee soon became a regular thing until it moved from coffees to dinners to spending nights at his place when Brad was out of town for work.

You’re brought back into the moment by Brad’s voice, “I gave you the chance to be honest with me. I’m tired of all this skirting around you’ve been doing lately. I hired a private investigator to find out what you’re keeping from me.”

“Excuse me? You hired someone to follow me?”

“Who is he? Tell me who he is.” Brad demands as he throws a stack of photos on the table. Each one from a different day you had spent with Spencer. Your heart ached when you saw how happy you looked in those pictures, how in love you and Spencer looked. You can’t help but smile to yourself as you realize just how much better your life has been since you met Spencer.

“Do you really want to know Brad? Do you want to hear how he’s made me feel alive again after years of being pushed around by you and my mother? Do you want to hear how much I love him? How I’m not even sure why I keep coming back to you other than some stupid sense of duty?”

“Is that really how you feel? After everything I’ve given you and the life I’ve provided for you, you’re just going to throw it all away for some guy?”

“He’s not just some guy. I love him. I love him in a way I have never loved you.” It feels so good to get that off your chest, to actually tell Brad the truth about your relationship.

You can tell he wants to argue, but you don’t give him the chance. You grab what you need for the next few days and go, ignoring Brad’s numerous attempts to talk to you as you pack.

And as you walk out, you hear Brad put on his favorite record, one you had always hated. You can’t help but feel a sense of relief that he’s not trying to follow after you and force you to stay.

You pull out your phone and give Spencer a call, “I did it, Spence. I finally left him.”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x fem!reader #margovember

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novasdrabbles · 2 months ago

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A Gentle Touch

There is a severe lack of Alma fics you guys. Also I have yet to actually play MHW so if something feels off that's most likely why.

No use of Y/N, SFW, x-reader, written with fem reader in mind but no specific pronouns used

Also I haven’t written something like this in months so bear with me please ;-;

Alma quietly excused herself, rising from the small group and making her way towards the tent you and her shared. Nata bid her goodnight, his own eyes drooping more and more with every passing second as Gemma gently urged him to his bedroll.

The night was still young and alive with music, along with the eager chatter of those who still gathered around the fire sharing both stories and songs. After such a successful hunt earlier, along with the rescue of the Support Team that had been forced off course, everyone was in fairly high spirits.

You, of course, were relieved as well that everything had worked out in the end. But, you’d ended up burning your palm when dealing with the monster from earlier. Of all the areas it could have retreated to, it chose a hot spring.

You had taken a potion the second you had the chance, but it would only do so much. The camp medics had assured you that the wound would heal just fine – if you tended to it properly. At worst you would only have new scars to boast when enough time had passed.

She hadn’t seen you since Gemma managed to whisk her away earlier, sitting her down before she had a chance to say otherwise and shoving a drink into her hands. She’d seen the look on your face after you left the medical tent; a look of frustration and dejection that such a small thing would keep you from performing at your best.

At the time she had wanted to apologize. She still did, in fact. It was her own worrying that caused you to ride out with her in search of the Support Team. She’d noticed you could be quite hard on yourself at times, even if there were only a few minor setbacks out on hunts.

She poked her head into the tent, a small smile gracing her lips when she spotted your Palico fast asleep in the hammock. But you were nowhere to be seen. She had taken note of that as well. After spending so much time on your own, you still exhibited those ‘lone wolf’ traits of yours. You wandered off on your own quite often, sometimes even without a word to her or Nata. And on nights like these you typically hung around the outskirts, or crept off under the guise of keeping watch.

When Alma had expressed her concerns to Olivia, asking the veteran hunter what she could do to make you feel more comfortable, all the other woman had done was offer up a knowing smile.

“Just give ‘em time,” Olivia had said. “That’s all it took for me to come outta my shell when I joined up with my squad. Nothin’ but time.”

Her feet carried her a few feet away from camp where a secluded ledge overlooked the nearby plains. Sure enough, you were there, muttering curses to yourself as you fumbled with what looked like…bandages?

“There you are,” Alma said, announcing herself before she got too close. The moonlight illuminated your features as you glanced over your shoulder, along with the warm smile you gave her as she approached you.

“Hey, Alma. I thought you would be asleep by now,” you replied as she took a seat beside you. Alma merely shook her head, letting her legs dangle off the edge as she looked down at the bandages still clutched in your non-dominant hand. Near your leg was a jar of the salve the medics had given to you earlier for your burn. Her brows furrowed as the pieces began to slot together.

“Are you just now changing your bandages?” The question sounded like more of an accusation coming from her and you quickly averted your gaze. She could only imagine how fast you must’ve soiled the wrappings from earlier, considering you weren’t one to just sit and allow yourself a break.

“Well…I meant to get it done earlier, but then Gemma needed my help with something and I promised to show Nata how to–” You blinked when she cut you off with a tired sigh, her fingers carefully prying the bandages from your own. “Wait, Alma–”

“Nope. I don’t want to hear it. It’s the least I can do, after all.” She shot you a look when you tried to protest once more so you begrudgingly allowed her to guide your injured hand into her own. She unscrewed the cap to the salve and scooped out a small amount before gently applying it to your wound. A pained hiss escaped you, and she quickly uttered an apology.

You grit your teeth as the salve began to ease away some of the pain, the sensation lessening to a dull throb. Alma’s fingers were deft in their work, confident yet careful as she started to wrap your hand. Her own hands were soft, a stark contrast to yours that bore a myriad of scars from fights long past. Before your mind could wander, she softly cleared her throat to get your attention.

“I wanted to apologize. For before, I mean,” she said softly, her focus shifting from your hand to the quizzical look you gave her. “It’s just…the team’s safety is my responsibility. And you already do so much for everyone around camp. But, despite that, you still stepped forward to make sure they were all right.” Her gaze dropped back to your hand, now wrapped and resting in your own. “I only wish I could have done more. Maybe then you wouldn’t have gotten hurt and–”

“Alma.” Your tone was gentle, yet firm all the same and when she looked up there was a mirthful look in your eyes. “This injury is no one’s fault but my own. I made a stupid mistake, and so I have to deal with the consequences. Don’t blame yourself for something like this.” Her mouth opened, a number of protests coming to mind, but you quickly shook your head. “And besides, you remember what I said earlier, right? I wanted to help.”

“Yes,” Alma said exasperatedly. “But–”

“But nothing. What’s done is done. And what about you, hm? Don’t think I haven’t noticed how quick you are to try and shoulder so many responsibilities on your own.” Your gaze softened, an endearing smile lifting your lips. Carefully, you placed your uninjured hand atop Alma’s as you leaned closer, the gesture making her breath hitch.

“You chose me because you said you believed in me. Well, I believe in you too! Because of you I can fight knowing I’ve got the best handler a hunter could ask for watching my back. So, please, don’t be afraid to rely on me. We’re a team, after all. Okay?” Your tone left no room for arguing, and the utter sincerity in your words floored her. She never would have imagined you felt so confident in her abilities. You, the same hunter with such a kind and caring heart, that stared down all manner of monsters without a hint of fear or hesitation.

Alma felt her cheeks warm at the notion as she managed a bashful nod. “Okay,” she said and the resulting grin you gave her only made her flush more. “Thank you.”

“Ah, don’t thank me. Just…let me take care of things for you sometimes,” you murmured softly, giving her hands a reassuring squeeze. Alma smiled shyly and gave a slight shake of her head.

“If only you could follow your own advice,” she teased, delighting in the sudden sheepish look that crossed your face. “I also wish you would spend more time with us. Some of the others think you don’t like being at camp because you’re always slipping away on your own.”

“Really?” You asked as your brows furrowed thoughtfully. You retracted your hands as you folded your arms across your chest, a small tilt to your head. Her hands suddenly felt colder without your touch, so she quickly busied them with cleaning her glasses. “I hadn’t noticed.”

You…hadn’t even noticed your own standoffish behavior? Alma bit back a sigh as she slid her glasses back on.“Well, we’ll work on it. But it would be nice for them to know you as more than just the ‘Hunter,’ you know.” She got to her feet, sparing the plains one last look before extending her hand to you. “I’d say tonight’s the perfect time to do just that.”

You couldn’t find it in yourself to disagree, a small noise of amusement leaving you as you took her hand. “Lead the way, then.”

#mhwilds #monster hunter #monster hunter wilds #alma #alma monster hunter #alma x hunter

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ihavenoideawhatimdoingheree · 1 month ago

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Inspired by Max saying singing is one of Daniel’s hidden talents: x

Not important but it’s set vaguely sometime in 2023

Max was just about to call out that he was home when he heard sounds coming from the kitchen. The noise of dishes being placed in the dishwasher wasn’t unusual, what made him pause was the sound of singing.

It was Daniel.

Max had heard Daniel singing before on numerous occasions, but it was always as some sort of joke, never fully genuine.

What he heard now was different. The melody simple, pitch lower, almost tender. Genuine.

Max quietly slipped off his shoes and headed towards the kitchen. He stopped just by the entrance and watched.

Daniel stood with his back to him, headphones on, hips swaying lightly as he sang.

Max felt his chest ache, he thought it was the most beautiful sound. Of course, he could tell that his boyfriend wasn’t a trained singer, but the small imperfections only made it better for him. More intimate.

As Daniel placed the last plate into the dishwasher, he turned and froze when he saw Max. His eyes widened, and his voice faltered.

Then he quickly threw on a silly expression and inexplicably started singing a brand new song in a Texan accent, intentionally going off key.

”Oh Maxy you’re home, oh I’ve missed you so-”

And while Max usually enjoyed Daniel’s antics, he wasn’t interested in them right now. So before Daniel could continue serenading him, Max cut him off with a kiss.

”You’re actually a very good singer when you’re being serious” Max said as he pulled back.

”Aw shucks Maxy” Daniel deflected, still in a Texan accent. And despite trying to make a point, Max couldn’t help but smile at his silliness before looking straight at Daniel.

”I mean it, you should sing like that more often, you’re good.”

Max watched as Daniel’s entire face turned a deep red in response to the full force of his sincerity. Looking down, he appeared shy for a moment as a smaller, more genuine smile adorned his face.

”Thank you,” he got out eventually before wrapping his arms around Max. ”Missed you.”

He rested his head on Max’s shoulder and Max held him close.

He thought back to when he used to believe nothing could fluster Daniel. He had just seemed way too cool and confident to ever have anything to ever be embarrassed about. His persona too blinding to see past at first.

And while Max still admired him just as much as now as he did then, he knew better now. He knew his insecurities and fears, the things Daniel didn’t like for others to see. He knew all of him and only loved him more for it.

Please bear in mind that English is not my native language and that I usually don’t write fic so be nice! I also wrote this in one sitting soooo

#daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #maxiel #fic rec #my fic

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paper-mario-wiki · 16 days ago

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this might be a ......... weird question ? i don't know how to phrase it. but your raps are so intricately made and flow so nicely and the phrasing and wording are just so pleasing to listen to! how does your process usually work for coming up with your lyrics? i feel like in general i struggle a lot with very plain language and "creative thinking" to come up with phrasing and vocabulary like that so i was just wondering if it comes to you naturally or if you do extra research and take in external influence at all.

i think i'd be lying if i told you it didn't come to me somewhat naturally because ive got specific mental illnesses that make me Clang compulsively, but i've also got a background in linguistic anthropology and i've been listening intently to rap for, like, my entire life.

the process of writing looks something like this:

come up with a general idea that I want to write about. Sometimes it'll come from the beat (butter dog type rap was written to be a rap that was sort of about butter dog), and sometimes it'll come from how I'm feeling (Low Maintenance was written because i was feeling particularly trapped in my own mind at the time), but i never start writing without a goal in mind.

from there i start coming up with words or phrases i like. a lot of interesting writing comes from visual metaphor, and descriptive words, so i try to think of particularly evocative words that i can to use as anchor points in my songs. sort of like key frames in an animation, if you're able to map out what you want the load-bearing portions of your song to sound like, weaving between them intricately becomes slightly easier!

something that i tend to do is come up with a punchline i want to write into, and then finding out how to start the line based on where i want it to end. one example of this is "Let's sick the wolves on wall street, little red bookin' it never looked so sweet", which started from me wanting to reference Mao Zedong's little red book. i thought "killing the owning class could be called Little Red Bookin' it, but Little Red is also the name of a character in a story". from there, i turned the "big bad wolf" into a wolf of wallstreet reference, with Little Red representing the fleeing executives and hedge fund managers. you start with one piece of context, and build off of it from there!

that's all i can think of for advice for now, i hope it's helpful!

and thanks you so much for the high praise!

#anon

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duskvsdawn · 19 days ago

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What a tantalising creature

On one of your regular walks on the beach, you suddenly see a mysterious creature. His beautiful songs draw you closer, and when he comes face to face with you, he has decided you will be his mate.

≫A/N: So, uh... Twitter is flooded with fan art of Kaelix as a merman today. I had to write about it. I don't know much about how merman anatomy works, and I know it's also up to interpretation (I know a tiny bit), so I am using my imagination for a big part, bear with me lmao. I hope all of you enjoy this really experimental writing that was pushed out on a whim because holy moly, my mind went places. Tagging @celestiaras and @briskunt because I have a feeling that both of you will love this specific fic in particular (I hope so at least!!)

CW: female reader, Kaelix as a merman, and uh he wants to mate with you so it's smut, extremely scuffed sexy times cause I really need to think about how I am even going to approach this, Kaelix is a virgin, Kaelix eats reader out, then he fucks her dumb because he just has to make sure you are filled to the brim so uh kinda breeding kink

Art credits <3

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

If you like my works, please like, comment and reblog! It is much appreciated ❤ And if you really enjoyed it, please follow me so you can be kept up to date on future uploads! Please do not re-upload, translate, or use for AI training.

You loved walking on the beach in the late evenings. Everything was so calm and quiet during that time of day, and you always took it as an opportunity to calm your mind and get your thoughts straight. All of a sudden, you hear a beautiful male voice singing a song. You look in the direction of the voice, and it's coming from the water. There you see a man with hair as white as snow, and eyes that shift from a beautiful ocean blue into a forest green. And the man also seems to have interesting ears. Could it be a mythical creature of some sort? You had heard some tales about mermen roaming in this area during this time of year, but you couldn't imagine that would actually be real.

You watch the man for some time as he is just relaxing in the water, still singing beautiful songs. His voice draws you closer and closer, occasionally taking a step forward, closer to the water. It seems the man hasn't noticed you yet, but it suddenly seems like he's on the move. He swims over to a large flat rock closer to shore and hoists himself onto it. A beautiful tail appears out of the water, shifting from blue to green just like his eyes. So, mermen really do exist, you suppose. You take a deep breath and walk even closer to the creature, hypnotised by his singing.

When your feet stand in the water, the man suddenly turns his head around and looks at you. "Oh, why hello there," the man says as a smirk appears on his face. Oh, you looked so beautiful to him, simply stunning. He could smell your scent now, and if he didn't know better, he'd say you're aroused. You were wearing a crop top and extremely short and tight shorts, following the curve of your hips and your ass. The creature licked his lips as he saw you walk into the water. He wasn't singing anymore, but his eyes were just as hypnotising as his voice. You had to get closer to him. You wanted to get to know him. You had to touch him.

You stood in front of the rock now, not really sure what to do next. "Feel free to join me, beautiful. The moon is absolutely stunning tonight, we could look at it together," the merman said in hopes of drawing you even closer. He didn't have to tell you twice. You climbed up on the rock and sat down next to the man. He wrapped his tail around your feet as an arm folded itself around your shoulders. You swallowed the lump in your throat to ask him the only question on your mind at that very moment.

"What's your name?" you asked with a shaky voice. The creature had put its face into your neck now, taking a good whiff of your scent, and it seemed his suspicions were true. The smell of arousal rolled off your body, and it was driving him mad. "Kaelix," the man replied as he left a searing kiss on your neck, "What's yours, beautiful?" the man continued. You told him your name. You weren't sure if it was a good idea, but you had an idea you weren't getting out of here alive anyway. Once you're drawn into a mercreature's trap, there is no escaping it. If Kaelix wanted to kill you, he could do it right here, right now. But he didn't.

Instead, he scooted even closer to you and gently took your face into his hands. "Oh... If only you knew what you do to me... You're irresistible," the merman whispered, his hot breath hitting your face. His face got even closer to yours until your lips were barely touching. You wrapped your arms around the creature and pulled him in for a hungry kiss. Kaelix hummed in approval as his tongue licked your bottom lip, asking you for entrance, which you happily granted him. His tongue was long and pointed at the tip, and it felt so smooth against your own. At this point, you were enthralled by the creature, and he was all you thought about. The merman gently pushed you onto your back and leaned over you, trapping your mouth in a hungry French kiss once more. After a little while, you broke the kiss, panting for air. With half-lidded eyes, you looked at Kaelix and gently touched his ears (if you could even consider them ears?). The creature let out another low hum and leaned into your touch, licking your hand afterwards.

"Fuck, you're so pretty. I need to have you to myself tonight. Will you let me?" the creature asked, surprisingly composed and polite about this whole thing that he was planning on doing with you. You knew what he meant by that, and he was so incredibly pretty that you couldn't deny him, even if you tried. As your breath hitched in your throat, you replied: "Yes... Yes please..." as you impatiently rubbed your legs together, looking for some sort of friction. The merman noticed what you were doing, even if you were doing it on autopilot, and it didn't even register in your own mind. The man scooted lower and spread your legs after he took off your shorts and your lacy thong.

The creature licked its lips, your smell of arousal so overwhelming to him now that it made him dizzy with need. Kaelix moved closer and licked a long stripe up your folds before he started eating you out like a man starved. His tongue occasionally entered your core, the length and the texture of it making you throw your head back, almost banging it against the hard rock beneath you. When he wasn't doing that, his mouth would be wrapped around your sensitive clit, sucking on it like his life depended on it. He wanted you to fall apart all over his face so bad, so he worked even harder to make it a reality. His tongue entered you once more as his finned hand rubbed your clit with alternating pressure and speeds. You could feel yourself getting closer, your moans turning into choked whines as the coil kept tightening. The creature moaned as he lapped up more and more of your essence like it was the most delicious meal the world had to offer. Those moans against your folds were what sent you over the edge. You moaned his name as you pulled his face even closer to your core and released all over his face. The merman kept licking and sucking to help you ride out your orgasm, and honestly, he could do this all day if you would let him. He wasn't wasting a single drop, even wiping the remaining release from his face to then lick his fingers clean.

You were panting like a dog, the afterglow washing over you. But the creature wasn't done yet, and you knew that. Kaelix moved up higher, so he was face to face with you to leave a needy kiss on your lips and then moved to your neck. He gently nibbled the skin there, and then proceeded to suck a hickey right above your collarbone. The merman started moving his scaly tail against your core. It felt strange, but the friction felt incredible. Then, you felt something different rub against you. The creature had let its member spring free from its sheath, and you curiously looked at it. It was big, both in length and in girth. It had all sorts of textures on it, and the tip was pointed, just like his tongue, and it was also curved like a gentle wave. It felt very smooth and slick, even with those textures. Kaelix let out a desperate whimper; he wanted to get inside of you so badly. You bit your lip and pulled him closer, leaving heated kisses on his neck.

"Can I put it in? Please, I need to be inside of you. I need you so bad," the creature said with a whiny moan as he hid his face in your own neck to kiss you there just as much. You nodded, and Kaelix pushed inside of you in one swift motion. A gasp of surprise left your mouth as you were stretched open so deliciously, and a sigh of relief left his as he immediately set a brutal pace. You held onto to him for dear life as his dick kept hitting the most delicious of spots, thanks to its curves and textures. You were going crazy with pleasure as it seemed he sped up even more, and you didn't even know it was possible. If it weren't for the rough surface beneath you, you'd surely be moved to a different spot due to his harsh thrusts. You were surprised at his impeccable upper body strength, he wasn't even phased by how his arms had to hold him up like this, he surely must have practised this before. But little did you know, that you were his very first mate, he was just so damn determined to fuck you until the both of you would pass out in afterglow.

He kept chanting your name over and over between whines and whimpers. He felt so sensitive, and on top of that, your seductive smell was overwhelming his senses, and it felt like absolute heaven to be inside of you. He started whimpering even harder as he hid his face in your neck once more. Seeing him enjoy himself so much only made you enjoy yourself that much more as well, and you could tell he was getting close. You wanted to get there with him, so your hand snaked between the two of you to softly pinch your sensitive clit. With your other arm still around him, you pulled him as close as possible.

"Fuckfuckfuck... I'm cumming, I'm cumming, fuck!" the creature moaned, close to a scream as its hips began to stutter against yours. You moaned just as loudly at this point, telling him you were close too. And all of a sudden, you could feel yourself getting filled up as Kaelix bit down hard on your neck. To him, this meant he had marked you as his mate forever, and no one else would ever be able to have you, even if humans thought differently about this most times. You came along with him, covering his scaly tail in your release. You were panting against his shoulder, and you expected him to pull out. But as if in a daze, he picked up the pace once more, determined to keep filling you up over and over until you were filled to the brim. After uh, could have been 12 rounds, but you lost count halfway through, to be honest, you couldn't even tell up from down anymore. You were so fucked out at this point that all you could do was moan his name like a pathetic whore. Kaelix was just as vocal as you at this point, moaning your name just as desperately as he pushed himself to his limit to fill you up one last time, that should do the trick.

His hips stuttered once more as he bit your neck again, in a different spot this time, and he filled you up with one final release. Feeling his seed fill you up sent you over the edge once more, screaming, but no sound left your throat anymore. The creature collapsed on top of you as you held him close, keeping you plugged up while he struggled to catch his breath.

"You're mine now. Only mine. No one else is allowed to have you now. You will bear my children. And I don't care if we have to do this over and over to make sure you will." Kaelix said as he let out a sigh of relief, the sexual tension leaving him for now. You had no idea if it was even possible for you to have his children, and what would happen to you from here on out, but you were curious to find out.

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