#also people will equate like actually bad people on here and some user who just likes some random show theyve deemed problematic

[jessiesjaded]

"Um that funny little one sentence post you reblogged from a mutual that has 80k notes was actually made by someone who said something problematic one time in 2014 so........ kinda side eyeing you rn" sorry I didn't manually click into someone's blog and go through their entire archive to determine if they are a problematic user or not, I'll lash myself 7 times as punishment right now.

[ceilidhtransing]

I've cropped out the username because I have absolutely no desire to start drama or make a personal “callout” or have people go harass someone or anything like that (and if you take this kind of thing as an opportunity to go and be horrible to another Tumblr user then that is terrible and you should stop), but wow, I have never seen such a clanging example of amatonormativity. I don't think OP necessarily meant it this way, I don't think they meant any harm, I don't think they're consciously arophobic or something - it's far more likely that they're simply unfamiliar with aspec issues, and I always prefer to assume good faith - but I want to talk about this post anyway because it provides a really good and explicit example of the way society just sort of... asserts the centrality of romantic attraction and entirely forgets aromantic people exist.

I do want to first say that I actually agree with the initial point this post is making. Romance as a genre is unfairly derided as some kind of “lesser” form of art, and this derision very frequently comes with generous helpings of misogyny. I totally agree that romance is not at all an unintellectual or superficial thing to write about, and it's bad that it gets treated that way and that readers and writers of romance get so often mocked and condemned. Romance is a totally valid genre and enjoying it doesn't make you vain or stupid or superficial.

HOWEVER. As an aromantic person I find the rest of the post just... I don't know, it's just so perfect as a probably unwitting expression of baked-in cultural amatonormativity. It's brilliant. It's so funny to me. I can almost do a line-by-line breakdown of the way it so completely forgets the existence of aromantic people. In fact, let's do that.

It is so fundamental to us. The issue here should be pretty obvious. The assumption that romance is some integral part of The Human Experience and that it's fundamental to All People is pretty much amatonormativity 101. It reinforces the idea that people who don't experience romantic attraction are “lacking”, forever sitting apart from The Human Experience, and possibly in some way not quite fully human, since we don't experience the thing that is apparently so fundamental to humans.

To want to love and be loved. The post seems to be incorrectly equating “romance” with “loving and being loved”, when in fact there are many people who don't experience romantic attraction yet absolutely love and want to be loved. (And of course loveless aros, aplatonic people, various folks who don't “want to love and be loved” also exist, and it's important to emphasise that this desire, just like romantic attraction, is also not necessarily integral to all people.) “Love” is not automatically “romantic love”, but this post seems to imply that romance is the only, or default, form in which love can exist.

If you don't think every great work of literature. philosophy. metaphysics. was ultimately about romance. I don't think you were paying enough attention. OK this is the line that elevated this post from “sigh, more casual amatonormativity to scroll past” to “I just have to respond to this”. Where to even begin with this assertion. This is a level of “assuming romance is central to everything humans ever do and ever create” that I've almost never encountered before. It feels like a manifestation of the tendency for alloromantic people to declare that, because romance is very central for them, it is thus central to Everything. And I'm homing in on “romance” because the post doesn't say “ultimately about love” - which would still be a reach, but less of a reach - it specifically says “ultimately about romance”. As an aromantic person who is an academic at heart and highly educated in the humanities and social sciences, the idea that my ability to understand literature and philosophy and metaphysics is somehow greatly hampered by the fact that I don't experience or relate to romantic attraction is just... what??? This idea is really very funny to me but also genuinely pretty insulting, even though I'm sure it wasn't meant that way. Not only does it feel like the summation of every patronising “oh, you couldn't possibly understand” directed to aromantic adults who are, in fact, entirely capable of understanding, but it also flattens the incredible breadth of human intellectual experience into “being about romance”. I sometimes find myself wishing that alloromantic people would peak outside the bubble of amatonormativity and realise that actually, there is an enormous swathe of human experience and intellect and creativity and expression that has nothing at all to do with romantic attraction and romantic relationships. And no, stating that, I don't know, the Book of Job is not actually about romance has nothing to do with our society's misogynistic denigration of romance as a genre; it has everything to do with the fact that the Book of Job is not actually about romance. (And if you aren't familiar with Job or for some reason don't consider it a “great work of literature”, replace with whatever other example you can think of; there are many.) It's insulting to imply that aro-spec and/or ace-spec people are somehow less able to participate in art and literature and philosophy etc because we might bring a perspective that doesn't include romance or sex at all and we're just not capable of understanding that Actually Romance And/Or Sex Is Central To Everything. It's genuinely absurd to argue that all the pinnacles of human intellectual achievement really, at their core, come back to romance, and it speaks to our very blinkered society's tendency to declare things like “everything is really about sex” or “everything is really about romance” or “everything is really about breakups” or whatever and then look at aro-spec and ace-spec people like we're aliens and go “but like... how do you even live?” Newsflash, there is so much more to life than romance and love and sex. You can live an entire, very fulfilling, very meaningful, very thoughtful life without these things being at all relevant to you. That's not to dismiss those things as minor or unimportant - they are indeed very central to a lot of people's lives, and they're not “dumb” or “shallow” or whatever - but they're not central to everyone's lives, and they're hardly The Only Things In The World.

And if your response is something along the lines of “well OK there's a tiny minority of people who don't engage with romance and/or sex, or relate to it in the same way most people do, but that doesn't mean that romance isn't still at the core of humanity, or that all the most important things don't still have romance at their heart”, imagine telling a woman that “well, you can focus on a career if you want, but what's really fundamental to being a woman is being a wife and mother - in fact, motherhood is the most important thing in the world, it's fundamental to women, it's what all women's literature is about”. Or, hell, telling a person of any gender that “parenthood” is the central pillar of all of humanity and that every great work of art ever produced is ultimately about parenthood and obviously parenthood is fundamental to everyone's being - forgetting that actually some people will never be parents, and implying that their childlessness makes them less able to understand The Human Experience. That might give you some small idea of what it's like to be an aspec person and be repeatedly told that feelings you don't experience and relationships you don't have and attractions you don't relate to and acts you don't engage in are somehow Fundamental To Humanity and are what lie at The Core Of Everything: how excluding that is, how alienating that is, how oppressively stifling that is.

Feeling that love and/or romance and/or sex are very important to your own life is totally valid, but I wish alloromantics and allosexuals could be more capable of opening their minds and imagining and empathising with an existence for which these things aren't central. Our lives aren't lesser, or emptier, or sadder, or shallower for lack of romance or sex. Our experiences are part of The Human Experience. Our perspectives on art and life and relationships and philosophy and humanity and everything else are just as valid. We are just as capable of profundity, of creativity, of insight - because romance and sex aren't “at the core” of any of these things. We are here, and we're tired of being forgotten, ignored, sidelined, dismissed, erased, talked over, talked past. It would be great if society at large actually remembered we exist once in a while, and that our lives are just as beautiful and important as anyone else's.

[cripplecharacters]

For reference, I'm autistic but I'm not physically disabled. I'm wondering if I'm playing into some bad stereotypes with one of my disabled characters. She's primarily a wheelchair user, but she can walk short distances with mobility aids. Basically, she's always visibly disabled.

I gave her quite a few of my own traits (and accidentally made her autistic in the process). One of these traits is I made her aroace. But now I'm thinking it's maybe not the best idea to have an autistic wheelchair user be explicitly uninterested in sex and romance when there's a lot of stereotypes about both groups being uninterested in / incapable of these things. Emphasis on the wheelchair user aspect since that part of her character isn't drawing on my own experiences in the slightest.

If it helps, she's not the only autistic character or the only visibly disabled character in the story. But she is the only wheelchair user, and the only character who's explicitly aspec.

Her being aromantic is pretty essential to her character and storyline, but her being asexual isn't really. I could probably change her sexuality without changing too much else about her. So I guess my main questions are:

1. If I keep her aroace is there anything else I can add to help avoid too many stereotypes regarding sex and romance for wheelchair users?

2. Would making her allosexual help with the situation or would I just be removing an important aspect of representation without doing anything to improve the negative stereotypes?

Thanks for the help

Hello!

While there are stereotypes about physically disabled people not having sex, it's usually more in the realm of "disabled people don't have sex" or "disabled people can't have sex" rather than being about asexuality or aromanticism specifically.

There are stereotypes about autistic people being aromantic or asexual but, as with most stereotypes, there will always be people that fit their description. Their existence is just as important as somebody who doesn't necessarily fit those stereotypes.

This is to say, if your character is aroace and disabled, good for them! That's completely fine, there's nothing wrong with that.

If you are still worried, you could always add more aspec characters or more wheelchair users, though I honestly wouldn't worry too much.

You could also consider having her talk a bit about her experiences being aroace, even if it's just a few throwaway lines here and there. That would help solidify it as being part of her individual identity rather than equating being disabled with being aspec.

In general, though, I don't see anything wrong with this character.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

Hey! I strongly agree with Icarus on adding another wheelchair user that's not aroace. There's nothing wrong with having a disabled aroace character, but it's hard to ignore the fact that often autistic and physically disabled characters get to be the ones headcanoned as aroace because of the "physically disabled/autistic people don't have sex nor romance" stereotype.

Coming from someone disabled and on the aroace spectrum: disabled characters who are aroace are cool, but having disabled characters coincidentally always be the only asexual and/or sex repulsed ones is certainly frustrating. Just put in some variety and you will be good.

If you do want her to be asexual and not add any other character, it would be interesting to see her identities actually intersecting. Does she ever feel "like a stereotype" for being autistic and not being interested in dating? Same thing but for being a wheelchair user who doesn't want sex? Maybe gets annoyed when people assume that her asexuality is caused by her disability, or when interacting with people who just presume that she doesn't have sex/romantic relationships because she's autistic and uses a wheelchair, and not because she's aromantic and asexual? Basically anything to give her depth as a character who is all these things so it doesn't seem like she just got the "default orientation" that disabled characters often end up with in LGBT media.

mod Sasza

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

It's all bad

So there is a post going around right now about how in Plano Texas, there was a sting operation that caught a sex trafficking ring. Some of the people there were first responders and teachers. However if you look at twitter, and of course on this hell site, there are people who are SO EAGER to suck a drag queens no no bits, they had to go out of their way to post some pretty "lovely" things. Now the reason I'm posting this image, rather than just the article is to prove a point.

We have absolutely zero confirmation about what the user William LeGate said here. None. At best he tried to look up some names, and background checks on those listed. However, on the original post by the DFWPD (Dallas Ft. Worth PD) This article is not even cited. And I looked at the article. You know what WAS listed in the "jobs" let's look:

You know what WASN'T listed? Republican Politician or "Church Leader".

Now let me show you the list of disgusting individuals, which wouldn't you know it, includes a woman.

Now let's do some math shall we. Racial, and political activists will look at this image, and do exactly what they do with is judge every single thing on surface level looks. As shown by these next tweets. (Some of them having prior records)

As you can clearly see, this started a trend of #NotADragQueen and a very old and tired trope of "The church is scarier protect them from that instead of drag queens"

My question to all of you Neo Progressives is this. Why exactly are you so hell bent on bringing up an event that happened over a decade ago?

Better question. Why exactly do you care if no drag queens were VISIBLE? Is it because parents don't think it's appropriate for their kids to be in from of a adult male in exaggerated women clothing. Several of whom have been found to have criminal records of sexual assault and some even against kids? Don't believe me? Let's look shall we.

WOW, if you look at this man's mug shot, YOU'D NEVER KNOW he was a drag queen. TURNS OUT not only was he one, but also is a child sex offender.

But rather than actually care about child sex offenders, which, let's be really fair here, you don't. You'd rather have a gatcha against those, "Evil republicans".

Let me be clear. If you look at all those mugshots? You'll notice something. Varying races and ages. You know what we AREN'T shown? Political leanings of every single person there and who they have and have no voted for. My current annoyance with all of you now, is one very LARGE thing. Rather than being happy that these people have been caught, you are FAR MORE EXCITED at the prospect that this group could contain your political enemies.

HOW F*CKED in the head are you? Really? Predators find positions of power. No matter where the position is. Sometimes they actually get complacent with their power and they begin to lose inhibitions. This should have nothing to do with the church, with drag with dems, or with reps. This SHOULD have everything to do with the fact that it's AMAZING that these assholes have been caught.

Thing is? Most conservatives just don't want drag in front of their kids. That should be their choice. AS THE PARENTS. And we don't actually know the ratio of predators to non predators in the drag community. And until they get arrested and charged, much like any other person, we CAN'T know.

Catholics were SEETHING when they found out what their leadership was doing. However, it was NOT all priests. It was not even most. It was however enough that it caused notice. And that makes sense. You can expect at least 10% of any large group to be not good people. However here is the issue. You are equating an entire group, that at the time was a VERY LARGE population size of the US. Per Capita is a fun thing to talk about. And given the LIMITED number of drag queens in the US you'd expect very very few to be guilty of sex offense. However, we see time and time again that's not the case.

Am I making the argument that drag queens are predators? No. Hell, most conservatives or moderates would not even be prone to making that argument if many of you were not so dead set on having kids see it or be around it. And the level of insistence around it kind of raises red flags if I'm being honest. Also a fun thing missed by that asshole William LeGate from the opening pictures is the mention of "Teachers" in that list of people involved. Another something people have brought up concerns over.

Stop making this about trying to own the cons. It's very possible several of the people on there are LGBT or Dem. And you'd ignore that, JUST to point out anyone not on your side. WHY THE FUCK do you care. Why can't all of it be bad. Conservatives are beat over the head with a 20 year old allegation equating their religious faith AS A WHOLE, to being pedo friendly. Imagine my shock when many got fed up with it and started putting that target on others. Mostly because it was a SMALL SUBSET of said group.

And now, just like them before, you are trying to salvage "your side" and deflect it from criticism. Also one last thing. MOST actual conservatives have not, and are not accusing most or all drag queens of being pervers or pedophiles. However in your fervor to not just demand they be in front of kids, but to also defend them from any and all allegations. I can certainly from the outside looking in see how that would be concerning. What's more, we DON'T know if any of the people shown there were drag queens. Some could have been ministers in the church. Both provide apt access to the people they wish to offend against.

Do you know what the only difference is between the two? You'll defend tooth and nail the drag queen even from the accusation. You know why that's bad? Because if that happened with a minister or pastor etc, that entire church community would be in lock down and every single person in power would be gone over with a fine tooth comb. So basically in one instance, Your side defends the potential predator, and their side demands action. In the other instance, you pat yourself on the back that bad people exist on the opposing side, and that side goes out of their way to figure out wtf is going on and seek out accountability.

Long story short. In both cases they want justice. In only once case you want justice. In the other case you are jerking off about how "good" your side is. Despite a NUMBER of people PUBLICLY that vote dem are on Epstein's flight lists including to his island on a number of occasions. Point it out and demand justice in every instance. Sex crimes especially against kids isn't a joke. And yeah OF COURSE by the laws of numbers it's going to be seen more in MUCH LARGER communities. DUH! Because there are more chances for it to even exist. A child understands that level of thought.

So again I ask you. Why do you care more about having a gatcha, than actual justice. You all saw, "the other side of the isle" and went, "See we aren't the bad guys". Meanwhile if I were to do research into every one of the people listed, I could likely find a few people who I could weaponize against your side. You know why I don't? Because I care more about the fact they got caught.

[furryprovocateur]

a natural, inevitable consequence of the rise of therapyspeak is that it teaches us to be more selfish and self-centered in our relationships. article after article, tweet after tweet will say things like "if your friend is traumadumping to you, it's okay to ignore them" or "ghosting someone you made plans with is okay if you felt anxious about it", which, while maybe beneficial to one side of that equation, will ultimately greatly burn the other side and likely result in relationship deterioration. so much of the emphasis has been placed on understanding the self, what emotions we experience, and what situations cause these emotions that we've lost sight of the world around us. we forget to ask things like "oh, my friend is traumadumping, they probably just experienced something really bad and need someone to console them" or "[person] was probably really looking forward to going out with me, i should communicate with them".

this is part of the reason i hated that one post that was like "therapyspeak isn't ruining us, it's just enabling selfish people to be more manipulative" or whatever. unless you think people have always been this level of selfish and borderline callous due to their self-centered nature, it really fails to explain the unique rise of rational adults suddenly becoming indifferent to the wants/needs of those they care about. therapyspeak has taught people that their emotions supersede the emotions of those around them, and we need to resolve our emotional conflicts without doing the icky stuff like confrontation, communication, vocalizing and naming boundaries, etc. why should you have a difficult talk with your bestie about how you feel terrible that their wedding is reminding you of your own personal loneliness and amplifying your depression? why not instead just ghost them, not show up to the wedding, and leave them wondering as to why you suddenly vanished from their life with no warning and were apathetic to one of the most important moments of their life? your emotional wants and needs are more important after all, and you shouldn't even have to consider how someone else in your life would feel in response to your actions.

here, i'll give a personal anecdote as to what i mean. there was an online friend i knew for about six months who i had a good friendship with. out of the blue, without any warning, i was blocked by him, kicked out of his discord server, and given no explanation as to what the reason was. i actually had to text his number and ask "hey, did you do this intentionally? if you did, why?" to get a response. and this response was a long text using therapyspeak-esque logic of "well you and [mutual friend] played a joke on me and you know i'm extremely gullible (this had never been communicated to me btw) so it really hurt my feelings so i chose to prioritize my own feelings and end our relationship". you might be saying "oh wow, well that's just how internet friendships go sometimes" but this was someone who had flown to my house and even admitted to having a crush on me at one point. this was someone who arguably was more invested in our relationship than i was. when did we get to this point? the offense i had committed was. . . lying about being a user on a forum and telling a mutual friend to go along with the lie if asked. and it was only brought up once.

i don't want to diminish the potential harm and pain that my actions caused, but, at the same time, i want to highlight that every reasonable adult out there could likely deduce that this perceived harm would greatly be outweighed by the investment in this relationship and also how much this person seemingly cared about me. and, instead of taking the very reasonable option of doing any of the following: addressing this with me and asking for some type of acknowledgement of harm and subsequent apology, communication of personal boundaries to avoid future harm, informing me of my wrongdoing and still continuing to terminate the relationship, i got ghosted. you could say i wasn't owed any type of explanation, and, maybe, just maybe, you're right. but at the same time, it's emotionally harmful to have someone do that to you. immediately after realizing what had occurred and why, i felt extremely disposable in my friendship with that person, as if i had never truly mattered to them and instead had just been a concept for them to idealize, only to be thrown away when i failed to meet these impossible standards. moreover, it's just generally very bad socialization to be so incapable and unwilling to assert yourself and engage in confrontation with your friends that it's going to likely be a constant issue.

this anecdote is a microcosm of the greater problem i see with socializing in the modern age. with how easy it is to remove people from our lives with no explanation, it suddenly becomes the more tempting option when choosing between that and confrontation, boundary talk, and other interpersonal intimacy topics. and i don't want to say that everyone is obligated to your time and energy or that there's never a warranted block w/no notification (i've done this before in fact!). it's just that culturally, we're becoming more and more self-interested and less invested in the wants/needs of those around us, stranger or friend. by telling ourselves that we owe no one anything, we don't hold ourselves accountable to the social obligations of checking in our friends every now and then ("i don't believe in friendship degradation!" that isn't how the real world works), making sure we communicate when we need certain things from them, and when we need to have conversations about things that are bothering us. we choose instead to prioritize the self, and in that, we lose sight of the world around us.

[doodlemancy]

Hey there I just have a question about the Patreon stuff - I 100% agree with everything you said, I'm not too knowledgeable about some of the things Patreon has done. I know they want to get rid of first of the month and per creation billing, but WHY? Why do they hate it so much and want to get rid of it so badly??

hmmmm. i can't say i know for sure, but i can make some guesses. a lot of it seems like an unwillingness to problem-solve, honestly. there have been various excuses that i can remember-- one is that processing everything at the beginning of the month leads to all the Payment Processing Problems happening at once which, fair, understandable. hire more people, sorry patreon, you already made your bed on this and now you get to lie in it for the sake of the people that depend on it. another excuse they made during the fiasco in 2021 is that a lot of people sign up in the middle or toward the end of the month and think they've been "double charged" when the 1st of the next month rolls around, and they get charged again less than a month after they signed up. it apparently leads to a lot of customer service tickets. instead of implementing ANY features that would help patrons understand this better at signup, or allow patrons to delay payment until the 1st of the next month, they wanted to do away with 1st-of-the-month billing entirely. and like yes. this is a problem. chargebacks are bad. having to deal with a lot of help tickets at the same time every month is bad. but having worked customer service long enough: clarify your language and again, hire more people, sorry! bed made! lie in it!

with the apple thing... i kind of wonder if that's been an influence in the past and for how long. it feels like they are really insistent on changing their service's behavior to be more predictable to the average Netflix/Doordash/etc. subscriber or whatever. the rolling bill structure is the default for most stuff, and it does make sense to want to be predictable... but in general they really seem to think very little of the intelligence of patrons. which is an understandable consequence of dealing with any kind of customer service-- just statistically speaking you will encounter a lot of horses who cannot be made to drink or even led to any kind of water and it will make you think humanity is doomed. but it's weird that they're willing to trade out entire portions of their userbase for that predictability. i think some of this is also a venture-capital-driven desperate desire for wider appeal, which is the fall of every tech company at some point, i guess. the insistence that the apps no one likes are Extremely Important is what bolsters my belief that this is a misguided growth-chasing thing. like everyone else, they probably are trying to make line go up, and there's no room to be pleased with a sustainable niche in that equation.

i don't know if there are other mysterious under-the-hood reasons, like if it's gonna be better for them re: payment processing fees or something or if their processors or investors are giving them shit about it for some reason or another. it's likely there's something else they are, as usual, not being transparent about.

so yeah. it's not that i think Patreon would be easy to run. it's not that i don't see that there are some legit challenges here. but i do think they are strangely willing to give up and go straight to the most destructive solution rather than try to figure out how to make the thing work. i don't really know exactly what's going on more than anyone else does, i'm just looking for patterns.

also: i know you don't, anon, but if anyone's thinking i've been too harsh or that i'm too suspicious of patreon up-front here and am Probably Just Unpleasable... they do have a history of deceptive shit. it's been their thing for a looooong time to take secret polls only of select groups of users so they can say that their bad decisions are based on "user feedback". i actually got an email invite back in 2021 for a secret behind-the-scenes call that i'm sure they were just gonna use to try to justify some more shit. i declined and told them they should have learned by now to ask the whole community for input on big decisions, and i got a predictably dodgy answer. sigh. i wish they really cared about us.

[echobx]

oh I'm ranting again. but ig by now you guys know that I can't keep my mouth shut. so to add to the list of all the apparently unpopular opinions that I have...

I don't actually think role play (rp) (and real people fanfic (rpf)) is bad, not if it's characters, and also not if it's celebrities.

"How can you say that? What's wrong with you?" I mean, there's plenty wrong with me but not here. Especially not here. I'm aware of my "controversial" takes when it comes to fandom, but honestly, the only reason you find them controversial (if you do) is because you haven't been in fandom long enough. Which, I will grant, is difficult if you are 1. not old enough to know better 2. are in a fandom that is rather young, like OBX is. But telling people what to do and not to do, simply based on you not wanting to see it, is simply and clearly an act of censorship. Now I'm not saying that it equates to the censorship our governments are trying to put on us in online communities (especially in the US recently) but it lays a ground for the politicians to base their argument on. Because when you go and spread around that some things "shouldn't be done" and "shouldn't be written" and "shouldn't be drawn" that creates a base layer of what politicians will take and say "see, they want us to censor them" and that is never ever good. bc it might at first be role play and "dead dove, do not eat" types of content, but it will really quickly lead to the banning of queer content, and I won't fucking stand for that.

so, yes, you might cringe at RP and other things, but you also have the possibility to simply block those accounts, to block the tags to filter your own online experience, especially on tumblr since it's the only truly user friendly social media site that we have left.

and on the fact of people bringing up Chappell Roan in this discussion. Chappell very clearly said that she feels uncomfortable irl bc it happens IN HER REAL LIFE. if she cared about people just talking online about her without any irl reason for it, she would've said that. but she didn't. she was rightfully pissed that people approached her irl and didn't take no for and answer and only after that they went online and talked shit about her. this is entirely different to RP. (it also reminds me how straight people forced Kit Connor to come out and then blamed queer people for it, when no queer person ever made him feel the need to come out because we accepted him even when he was in the public closet)

RP is clearly tagged as such, the people who do it are very much aware that it's a game, and not real. if you can't make that distinction, that's on you. not the person who RPs or the people who interact with the RP.

side note: if RPing is bad, why are you watching historical dramas based on real people? why is it okay for the industry to make bank on the lives of dead AND living people, but a normal person can't do the same without getting paid? maybe you should also think about that, because it's literally the same. y'all watched Elvis and Bohemian Rhapsody and The Crown and so many more shows and movies that are based on real people but aren't what actually happened 100% and that is okay, but when fandom does it you want it to be wrong and a moral failure? get a grip.

there's a clear line between fiction and reality and it's not the creator's fault for you to go and blurr that line because you don't understand the rules. RP and RPF have been part of fandom culture since the beginning, and just because you don't like it, doesn't mean it will go away, because there's nothing wrong with it.

just do with RP/RPF what you do with more important things in our daily lives, more serious matters. Look Away. bc clearly you are good at it any times else.

[bonni]

ngl I'm really sick of this discourse being reduced to like. either you care about antiblackness and victims of pedophilia or you care about transmisogyny and trans women being baselessly accused of pedophilia. you can care about both. it is, in fact, imperative to care about both.

I also don't love that both sides seem to have people that struggle to differentiate between "this person has shitty opinions that may contribute to an online culture of protecting pedophiles" and "this person is an actual predator." on one hand we have people who genuinely are equating the two and are calling trans women pedophiles just for making tone-deaf posts and then doubling down when people point out that that's transmisogynistic. and then on the other side of things we have people going "xyz is a transmisogynist because they accused this person of being a pedophile" and then the user in question just said something like "I think it's a bad look to have made this post that equates prison abolition with defending edgeplay when someone who runs in your mutual circles just recently got called out for using similar rhetoric to cover up the fact that they were grooming kids" which is like, a totally fair criticism and not the same thing as calling someone a pedophile.

as with most internet arguments I really have no respect for people on the extreme end of either side here and I think that if you're not able to have some semblance of nuance and recognize your own privilege and what biases you may be prone to because of those privileges then you shouldn't be talking. the first user I saw who was willing to be like "this post sucks and is tone-deaf but calling a trans woman a pedophile for having a bad take is still transmisogynistic" was, in fact, a Black transfem person.

[market-spy]

Lost in the Transit Jungle? Passenger Information Systems to the Rescue! (With a dash of sarcasm, of course.)

Ah, the joys of public transportation. The rumble of engines, the delightful aroma of hot dogs, and the ever-present mystery of whether your train will actually arrive on time. Navigating this urban jungle can feel like being dropped into a David Attenborough documentary, minus the cool wildlife and suave narration. But fear not, weary traveler, for a technological beacon shines in the distance: the Passenger Information System (PIS)!

Think of the PIS as your own personal transit Yoda, whispering sage wisdom about delays, platform changes, and whether there's actually any toilet paper left in the onboard facilities. (Let's be honest, that's intel worth its weight in gold.) These nifty systems provide real-time updates on schedules, disruptions, and even the occasional bit of entertainment (although we can't guarantee it'll be better than watching paint dry).

So, what's driving this PIS boom? Well, apart from our collective longing for a stress-free commute, there are some serious trends at play:

Smarter Cities: Urban planners are embracing technology like it's the latest latte trend, and PIS is a key part of the equation. Think sleek digital displays at bus stops, interactive information kiosks in train stations, and maybe even robots dispensing travel advice (okay, maybe that's a stretch, but hey, a man can dream!).

Happy Passengers, Happy Profits: Turns out, knowing when your bus is actually coming makes people less likely to throw spontaneous tantrums or spontaneously combust. Who knew? Happy passengers also tend to spend more money on things like overpriced coffee and questionable souvenirs, which makes everyone else happy (except maybe the guy stuck behind you in the security line).

Data Deluge: We're swimming in a sea of data these days, and PIS systems are like trusty life rafts, helping us navigate the choppy waters. By crunching all that information, they can predict delays, optimize routes, and even personalize your travel experience (imagine a world where the train automatically plays your favorite Spotify playlist as you pull in...bliss).

But, of course, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. There are some bumps in the PIS road:

Costly Caper: Installing and maintaining these systems can be as expensive as buying your own private jet (okay, maybe not that bad, but it's definitely not pocket change). This can be a challenge for smaller transit operators, leaving some folks stuck in the information dark ages.

Tech Terror: Technology is great, but it can also be a fickle beast. Glitches, crashes, and system updates can turn your friendly PIS into a malfunctioning monolith, spewing confusing gibberish like a malfunctioning fortune cookie.

Privacy Perils: All that data floating around raises some eyebrows (and rightfully so). We need to ensure that passenger information is used responsibly and securely, or else we'll all be starring in our own personalized Big Brother reality show.

Despite these challenges, the future of PIS looks bright (unless the power grid goes out, then things might get a bit dark). As technology continues to evolve, we can expect even more sophisticated and user-friendly systems, paving the way for a smoother, less stressful commute for everyone. So, the next time you're feeling lost in the transit jungle, just remember: there's a little Yoda of information out there waiting to guide you. Just don't ask it to lift your luggage, those screens aren't that advanced yet. For More Information: https://www.skyquestt.com/report/passenger-information-system-market

Want to learn more about the fascinating world of Passenger Information Systems? Download the full report from here. and take a deep dive into the data, trends, and insights that are shaping the future of public transportation. And hey, who knows, you might even find out why the hot dog stand always seems to be closed just when you're starving.

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[inaflashimagine]

I'm am very new to the JJK fandom and I happened upon your *chef's kiss* wonderful blog. I've been wondering, is Gojo the strongest in Japan or in the world? Would you be willing to do headcanons for Gojo meeting someone from outside Japan who's equally as strong or maybe stronger than him?

welcome to the JJK fandom and thank you for this nice comment :,) Every person I’ve met who’s a JJK fan is the sweetest istg. Someone can correct me if I’m wrong but I think Gojo is the strongest in the world – there’s not many shamans in general and he’s well-recognized in the sorcerer society as “The Strongest” so I’m assuming that equates to him being #1 globally. Here’s some HC’s (some manga spoilers):

_

Gojo Meeting Another Special Grade Sorcerer

Gojo first hears about you after the attack Geto launched at Shinjuku and Kyoto, when you were visiting Japan to meet the higher-ups (perfect timing, huh?).

Much like Todo, rumors about your strength spread like wildfire. Some say you even defeated 9 Grade 1 Cursed Spirits and 1 Special Grade all by yourself in 20 minutes flat.

Obviously Gojo would need much less time than you and he’d exorcise more curses, but hearing this tidbit piques his interest.

Yet whenever he tries to investigate your profile (or rather, threatens Ijichi to do so), nothing comes up. According to the world wide web, you don’t exist. And although you are supposedly quite the world traveler, you barely leave a paper trail.

All he knows is that, like him, you are one of 5 Special Grade Sorcerers in the world. Learning this definitely captures his attention.

Satoru knows he’s the strongest, but he wonders how you’d fare in a fight against him.

He wants to invite all the Special Grade Sorcerers to a fancy brunch with a ton of baked goods but then he realizes that he can’t considering 1) one of them is his ex-best-friend-now-dangerous-curse-user-who-probs-wants-him-dead, 2) he doesn’t know where Okkotsu and Yuki are, and 3) oh that’s right, he has no idea who you even are.

He’s about to give up on his search, concluding that you’re some elderly person like Gakuganji that doesn’t know what Google is, until you two are assigned a mission together.

And he’s surprised to meet someone around his age who continues to glare at him in disgust.

Did he have something in his teeth? People usually use their eyes to shoot hearts and love at Gojo, not daggers.

“You’re ‘The Strongest’?” Your scoff and air quotes slightly irk Gojo despite him simultaneously finding your irritated voice to be kinda hot. “I don’t know why they brought me here if Walmart Brand Kakashi has this covered. I was enjoying the sunny beach in Tahiti.”

Gojo pouts, wishing you were actually some old geezer. He did not have his candy break interrupted just for someone to call him a bad cosplayer. Only he can trash talk and annoy others.

“Well if we’re going to be brutally honest here, Kakashi is a Walmart Brand Gojo. And I don’t even know who you are, Punimon.”

That mischievous smirk coupled with a crazy glint in your eyes is way too inviting of a challenge.

“Well, sit back and enjoy the show, Digimon nerd.”

He almost does when he sees you in action, impressed by your gracefulness as you exorcise curse after curse. Those rumors from last year did you no justice whatsoever. (And why did no one mention that you’re also a good-looking shaman who knows what Digimon is?)

But he’s not going to admit that any time soon. Instead, Gojo makes sure he can show off his moves, because no, he’s not a generic brand Kakashi thank you very much.

He throws in a joke or two amidst the fighting and he swears he sees a trace of a smile on your face (or grimace, that might be a grimace...)

The mission is complete within 10 minutes and how aren’t you even sweating? And is that a yawn?

“Hm, you’re actually pretty strong,” you mumble casually, yawning again. Gojo is convinced that your currently bored expression might top Megumi’s.

“You’re not so bad yourself, although you definitely needed my help.” He glances at you expectantly with a smug smile, giddy with the anticipation that this statement will push your buttons.

However, you have the audacity to laugh loudly while patting and messing up his carefully-styled hair, as if you were consoling him for losing (and he definitely didn’t lose...right?). “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Before he can even retort you say, “But I do need help with finding a good restaurant nearby. Any suggestions?”

Satoru even offers to pay for your meal. And as he watches you eat the ramen he orders for you, his smirk widens, thinking he’s won now. That even though you’re one of the strongest sorcerers he’s seen and you just beat him at arm wrestling while you two were waiting for the food, there’s no way you can survive this.

Especially since he takes you to a place that serves the spiciest ramen known to mankind–he, Suguru, and Shoko once ended up in tears and exhaled fire for days after trying the Flaming Dragon Challenge.

But you’re not even fazed, even thanking Gojo for the recommendation as you disclose your love for spicy and sweet foods.

And as you two end the night at his favorite bakery, debating which Digimon are the most powerful and which films are the greatest of all time, he realizes his brain is no longer functioning.

Because how is the person of his literal dreams standing right in front of him?

He definitely threatens the higher-ups to pair you two up again for future missions. (Actually, he practically begs the higher-ups but no one has to know shhh.)

[mikami]

Im sorry if you already answered this, im on mobile too.

Why L is loved and Light is hated by so many, if they both are well-written characters? Where is the line which can't be crossed by a character or else viewers will hate them? I presumed that something morally unacceptable can avert viewers, but L does many morally questionable things too? It's truly important for me to understand bc im writing origins and i need to understand how one constructs their character and what things make the audience hate or love or just feel uninterested, so i hope you answer me! Sorry if i make mistakes in grammar or punctuation.

I'm just one person and I'm not going to have any definitive answers for you here. L's popularity is something that is always baffling to me on some level, but it falls neatly into the tradition of characters like Sherlock Holmes evoking this kind of passionate devotion and investment from people. Like, levels of devotion where people break down emotionally about these characters entirely? And have done so since the 1800s? It's wild.

For L and Light specifically, my personal theory is that it's honestly a lot less related to immoral actions and a lot more to ways people associate characters with totally mundane things they like and dislike in real life.

I think Light inspires a lot of hatred not because he's a horrible person but because he's a horrible person AND someone who is smart, traditionally handsome, successful... He's everything people loathe irl because they perceive it as obnoxious or are plain envious of it. If you read Light hate posts a lot of them have nothing to do with him as a character or anything he does on screen - he is being conflated with mundane social groups the poster dislikes (e.g. reddit users, incels, mansplainers, etc etc etc.)

Light is easy to equate with someone you might not like in reality.

L meanwhile is presented as the outcast, the weirdo, the underdog - and that is who people tend to relate to more on screen. L does bad things but it's whatever because he is a) unapologetically weird and b) right. He can easily serve as a power fantasy for people who feel ostracized by their social groups - they see one of their own as smart, powerful and correct. I think this holds especially true because a large part of the Death Note audience is teenagers - and feeling like an outcast is a quintessential teenager feeling.

The other thing is that more people watch the anime than read the manga and the anime adds even more: now L is not only weird and powerful and correct he is also SAD. The projection cocktail of power fantasy and perceived relatability is even more potent now.

People want to see themselves in L. They see the people they feel mistreated by in real life in Light.

The large-scale crimes of these characters do not matter - they register as wild, unrealistic, fictional. What matters is the way the characters overlap with what people have strong personal feelings about as part of their lived mundane realities.

(This is obviously not a psychoanalysis of every single person who has ever watched Death Note and I don't think it even holds true for most people who are actually in the fandom - it's something I've theorized mostly based on observing casual watchers for so many years. And I might be way off anyway.)

[cumulativechaos]

doxxing is a whole other beast, and i’m just as horrified about that as any izzy fan (altho while i was digging for anons on some ppls blogs i did see people mad that no izzy haters said anything abt the doxxing on tumblr… can’t speak for everyone, but i literally did not hear abt it until like two days ago)

i don’t use twitter or instagram, so i haven’t yet looked at the hate ppl are getting there (if u have screenshots or know which users are harassing ppl tho i’d love to know to add more stuff to my conspiracy board lol). and again, i DO feel bad! harassment is not okay! at the same time, i’m not particularly worked up over it, bc there’s nothing i can actually do about it. i’m not gonna sit here agonizing over harassment that’s happening on a platform i don’t use.

i AM gonna go on a post where someone screenshotted anon hate that my mutual got and somehow took his response of “idc if you send hate to izzy fans, but it’s kind of a waste of time” to be directly encouraging that anon to go send hate to izzy stans, and where they also went digging through three months of posts to find this random zero-reblog post where i expressed jaded skepticism over people claiming they’ve received death threats specifically as part of their argument about Why They’re Right About A Character, and im gonna comment on the way they jumped to claiming that we think izzy fans deserve to get anon hate and deserve to get harassment, when literally NOWHERE did ANY OF US say ANYTHING of the sort. that’s not “expressing their opinions about the harassment and accusations they face.” that’s severely misinterpreting what we’re saying in these screenshots, and pushing back against those absolutely buckwild conjectures is not “speaking over” anyone.

i am sympathetic towards people getting hate anons. i am. anon hate sucks

but i’m not sympathetic towards izzy enjoyers who see any mild criticism of izzy (or even just descriptions of his role as an antagonist) posted publicly and equate that to genuine harassment, like when The Art of Fxckery zine on twitter posted a preview of a very basic, very neutral meta describing how izzy as an antagonist is used as a narrative device to further the central theme of anti-toxic masculinity and the comments were full of izzy fans claiming that this meta contributed to the harassment that izzy fans get.

and i’m also not sympathetic towards people who get mad at izzy haters for not being overwhelmingly concerned with the anon hate that izzy fans get and demand that izzy haters do something–like, what do you want me to do? i didn’t send that harassing message. i have no idea who did. i’m baffled by claims like this, that izzy haters need to “check this kind of shit in your communities” as if i have any mutuals frothing at the mouth saying shit like “all izzy fans are racist cunts and abuse apologists and they deserve to get anon hate.” i only have, like, five ofmd mutuals. im currently not in any servers or group chats. the people i interact with are lovely. what “community” do you think i’m a part of that’s full of these aggressive assholes?

expressing your opinions abt the harassment you’ve received is fine. expressing disdain at izzy haters for not being beside ourselves with sympathy for izzy fans getting very fun-of-the-mill hateful trolling messages is where i have a problem.

lmao is it wild for me to take issue with someone for some fucking reason directly encouraging the weirdo anon to go send hate to izzy stans like thank you for being the white savior fandom desperately needed, keeping us coloreds safe and secure so i can go get more anon hate threatening me with violence and saying they hope i receive racist abuse.

[wenellyb]

I saw what you said about the Mackie situation not being black and white and I completely agree. There were parts of his statement that made me as a queer person uncomfortable however I don’t think he’s homophobic nor do I think that this is even as big a deal as anyone is making it out to be.

It frustrates me that people can’t understand that I can say “I think there were parts of his statement that were slightly hurtful/tone deaf” and also say “I don’t think Anthony Mackie is a bad person” at the same time.

Honestly I feel like if we all collectively decided to stop talking about it, it would be infinitely better than whatever the fuck is going on the Sambucky tag.

Yes, you are right,

I'm staying away from this whole mess as much as I can because there seems to be only 2 sides and everyone is mixing everything up, thinking that this is a shipping issue only and that it's a problem for Sambucky shippers... And I hope people realize that this is not the discussion here, even though some people want to make it about the shipping.

Just to clear things up, about the shipping part, first of all, the Variety interviewer mixed up some parts, and put whatever they wanted in the written interview, but even if Anthony had said that didn't see Sambucky as romantic or anything, it would be his right... He's an actor, he has his script, he's not responsible for what was written in the script...I hate people making it about shipping and saying that actors should always give vague answers when talking about ships so people can keep their hopes up and use their imagination.

But I also know from experience in other fandoms that if Anthony had given a vague reply about Sambucky some people would have complained that it was queerbaiting. There is no winning with the fandom so let's stop trying to frame this as a Sambucky ship issue I'm tired of people trying to frame this whole story as a shipping issue:

- Oh Anthony doesn't support Sambucky, our ship is dead

- And I'm also tired of people pretending that the accusations/comments are just from jaded Sambucky shippers who are mad because Anthony didn't say what they wanted to hear about the ship.

I will not be talking about the shipping part and I feel like the people who are focusing on the Sambucky part are completely missing the point.

Can we just talked about what happened? Yes, he was clumsy in some of the wording, but I saw nothing in that interview indicating that Anthony was homophobic.

But it doesn't mean that some of his sentences weren't rooted in homophobia...( I don't know how to phrase this so I hooe you understand).

And I don't understand why it is so hard for people to acknowledge it without villainizing him-

Whether we like it or not, we live in homophobic societies, and Anthony himself has acknowledging that he was brought up in communities where homophobia was present and he did a lot of growing and learning.

And sometimes he can use the wrong word, or sentence... It's not just Anthony, it's literally anybody on the whole planet..

A lot of people have internalized homophobia, and Anthony is one of the rare Hollywood male actors who has acknoweldeged it, and worked on it and he showed his support the LGBT community on many occasions.

And yes, clumsiness, mistakes and wrong words happen, but the correct behavior isn't behaving like nothing happened.

But NO... People want to make 2 teams, and 2 teams only...

1. Anthony is homophobic

2. Anthony did nothing wrong

Yeah well, none of that is true and acknowledging it POLITELY and without insluting and throwing slurs is possible. I mean it should be possible... but some people don't seem to understand that.

People know full well that what Anthony saying about fandoms wasn't homophobic, the discussion of the toxicity in some fandom circles is an ongoing one is spot on.

But on the other side, people know full well that even though what he said wasn't homophobic, and we could understand the general idea, he didn't word things perfectly and was mixing stuff and I don't like it when they pretend they don't understand why some people were hurt by what Anthony said...

Also, when you say something similar to "guys can't be close anymore or hang out at a bar together without being seen as gay" you make it sound like being seen as gay is a problem... And it seems inoffensive but in reality, the implications can be hurtful...

I have absolutely no interest in taking part in a debate where people are just stating stuff and not interested in having a discussion.

And honeslty I am 100% in the Anthony Mackie defence team because people on the internet do not know how to raise an issue without being rude or insulting, which is why I will support him when needed, but I'm also not here to pretend that I don't understand why some people are genuinely upset and that the people who are genuinely upset are not just shippers upset about the ship.

(And of course there are shippers upset about the ship but I cannot do anything for them)

I need other people to stop missing the point on purpose or unintenionally and pretend the discussion about homophobia is unfounded. But it's complicated because some people have been waiting for the moment a Balck actor missteps so that they can be racist in peace.

Tumblr is the worst place to engage in any discussion because 90% of the users are already on their high horses and have chosen the position they will have until the end of the debate.

I hate doing that... I enter the debate, learn new information, adapt and change my mind if I need to.. .Like at the beginning, I read the interview but I didn't know that there was also a podcast, and that some of Anthony's answers during the podcast had been misplaced, so I took that information account as well.

Why do we always have to have firm positions...

The only thing that I'm very cautious about is that Anthony is a Black man and the fandom and the Internet in general have a tendency to be harsher with Black men than with their White counterparts...

People who have never supported Anthony is the first place come and insult him and everything, but don't even try to go deeper and actually read the article or try to learn more?

And that also explain why some of the people defending Anthony are more defensive (me included) because when the racists come into the equation it becomea just awful... And that's why Anthony needs a strong support system in the fandom.

If there hadn't been people pushing back and supporting Anthony, you can be sure that what you would have seen in the Sambucky tag would have been 10 times worse and Anthony would have been the target of all that.

The other 3 posts I have made on the topic, more of less saying the same thing that this wasn't the best time to discuss this... when evryone was talking in the heat of the moment.

HERE HERE and HERE

I'm so sorry I was tired while writing this, so if some parts don't make sense let me know and I will explain it better, I just wanted to reply to you today.

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 55 - Rage Room.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression . Joe, Tasai, welcome.

J: Today we are wearing...

K: Yeh, you've been wearing these recently, havn't you? Its just the right season for them.

T, J: Yeah.

J: Its a bit warm out for a thick coat during the day now..

T: Yeah, this is really useful.

K: It is a bit warm now, isn't it?

J: Yeah, and when it gets too warm I can just take this off, and put it straight in my bag...

T: Yeah, its just right. It really is easy to use.

K: I see.

T: Its great. And when I wear it, the girls think Im cool.

J: Do they really say that to you?

T: Haha, is it just me?

J: That sounds like bragging! No one says anything to me!

K: Don't they? haha

J: No! Why do some people get called cool, and others don't..even though we are both wearing Dir en grey clothes?? Does this simply mean Joe Yokomizo is not cool? Is that it?

T: No, no. Your mood switch is impressive, haha.

J: Please stop it. You know I'm still trying to get married again. Don't get in my way!

T: Why are you so angry? haha.

J: Thats just me, haha.

K: You are angry, aren't you?　

J: Oh, I'm ok.

K: Speaking of getting angry...lets have today's topic.

T: Oh, good idea.

J: Ok, may I read out today's news? This news is about a 'Rage Room'.

T: Oh, very fitting.

J: Yes..In the suburbs of São Paulo, a 'Rage Room' has recently opened, where people can release their pent up stress and anxiety, and it has been proving popular. The room is set up in a warehouse, and peope can unleash their anger by smashing up old tvs and computers etc. According to Vanderlei Rodrigues (age 42), who started the business a month ago, there are quite a lot of people using the room who want to release their anger, especially with the spread of covid. Rodrigues claims this was the best time to open a Rage room, with so many people needing a release from the massive stress and aniexty which they are experiencing. Incidentally, the price to experience this is $4.64, which equates to about ¥490. Users need to wear protective clothing and a helmet, and can write words on the wall to aim their anger at, like 'ex-girlfriend', 'ex-husband', 'corruption', 'work' etc. A single-mother of two who used the room had this to say about it: 'Its good that I can work off my discontent in this rage room. My daughters, or anyone else, don't have to bear the brunt of my complaints, and its great being able to smash things'. A Rage Room! What do you think? First of all, would you go if there was one here?

T: I wanna try it out, yeh.

K: It sounds interesting.

J: Right? Smashing stuff up.

T: And its under ¥500.

J: Yes, it is.

T: Hm, that sounds pretty good.

J: Right?! It might be more expensive if it was in Japan, what with the land price being higher...if you compare it to São Paulo, Brazil. But if it was in the suburbs, like my home town Hachiouji or something, it might be cheaper, haha. It would be difficult to get there though. But if there was one here, I'd wanna try going. The question is though, if you went there, what would you aim your anger at?

T: Yeah.

J: Is there anything at Tokyo Sports you would pick?

T: There's a few things.

J: Right? Its like, what are you angry at? Like, 'My idiot boss!!!'?

T: Ah, I see.

K: Hiranabe?

J: Hiranabe! haha ???*1

T: Yeh, maybe I'll go with that. haha

J: Haha. Would you whack him in person?

T: No no, haha.

J: That would become a crime scene, haha. Kaoru, how about you?

K: Well, yeh...

J: What do you wanna unleash your rage at?

K: Hm, what do I? I don't really want to get direct anger AT anything. Stress happens as a result of lots of small things building up to make something bigger, right?

J: Of course.

K: I'd just wanna get the stress out in a way unrelated to all that stuff.

J: Ahh, I see. Well, yeh, stress has been building up bit by bit, even in just this last year.

K: Punchbags in gyms are apparently pretty popular too.

T, J: Ohh

J: People need somewhere to aim their rage. Ah, yeh there's that too. Some people go to the gym too. Lets go.

T: To a rage room?

J: Yeah. Well, I mean, I've got loads of things to  be angry at...loads that I can't say here, but...

T: Joe, are you that stressed out?

J: Yeah, its tough. My radio show is tough, everything is hard! Its been so tough, I wanna smash stuff.

T: But have you guys been really angry at anything recently? Like, so angry you wanted to punch someone?

K: Well, im not sure if its at that level, but I do get angry quite a lot...at people in the street wearing those noise cancelling earphones. They don't pay attention to anything around them, and just walk into you! There those people right?

T, J: Ahh, yeh yeh.

K???*2

T: You do get angry!

J: Well, yeah!

T: Well, I was out walking too, in Kichijōji, on a really narrow street near the station used by cars and pedestrians. And a drunk guy came riding his bike right down the middle of the street, and was about to crash right into me until I yelled at him. I was so angry with him!

J: Were you? Ahh.

T: Maybe my anger is aimed at people like that.

K: Mm, there are a lot of them.

J: This is why this kind of business works. Like you said earlier Kaoru, its not about being against a specific thing or person, its the daily stress that builds up and up, and this rage room helps to relieve that.

T: Its good, isn't it?

J: its just right. Should we do this? Let's open one.

K: Here?

J: Haha, we could smash loads here. Yeah, but a rage room. It sounds just right for these times....Kami is pretty quiet today..Are you there, Kami?

Kami: Im here, yes yes.

J: Were you asleep?

Kami: No no. Um, as for me...I wouldn't use this room.

J: Eh?! You wouldn't?

Kami: No.

J: Why? Don't you have any stress?

Kami: No, gods don't get angry.

J, T, K: Ehh?!

J: What do..

Kami: Its like, we are gods so we are not supposed to get angry.

J: Oh really?

T: I had the image that gods get angry quite a lot. 

Kami: No, not necessarily. You use a hammer to smash tvs and computers, right?

J, T: Yeah.

J: It would feel good, right?

Kami: I'd definitely hurt myself if I did that.

J: Haha.

Kami: Then I'd think 'Ahhh, it hurts' and regret doing it, which would make me get angry again. So I'd never do that. And charging ¥490 for it just adds insult to injury.

J: Haha

K: Well, there is that too.

T: Yeah.

J: Kami, have you never been angry in your life? 

Kami: I have loads of times.

J: You have? haha. You don't like the idea of a Rage Room though? You'd hurt yourself so you wouldn't use it?

Kami: I wouldn't.

J: Ahh, I see.

T: It would hurt your muscles a bit throwing a big, heavy hammer around.

J: Yeah, if you are not used to it.

T: Its scary.

K: Yeah, if its someone who doesn't usually use hammers.

J: Yeah, if it comes as a surprise, it'll be tough.

Kami: Um, wouldn't it be good to make something to prevent road rage? Something small.

J: Ah, yeah.

T: Yeah, road rage annoys me.

J: Road rage, yeh. Well, its dangerous.

Kami: If you told the government about a rage room that you can put in cars to prevent road rage, they would get it for you, right?

J: Ahh, well, like a small compartment?

Kami: Yes

J: A small rage compartment.

Kami: Yeah.

J: Before you get angry at person in front's driving, you could let it all out next to you ???*3

Kami: Ah, thats a good idea.

J: Haha

T: They could also make a room in the highway service areas or something?

Kami: Yeah.

T: To prevent road rage.

J: That might actually be good.

Kami: Yeah, road rage would disappear.

K: But if the wrong person comes in, they'll get punched.

J: Haha, your right. Everyone is there is stressed and annoyed, right?

K: Yeah.

J: If its not organised properly, they might start fighting.

K: They could have a martial arts contest in there.

J: Hahaha. Well, thats like putting your anger into a fight? Ahh.

T: I also wanna shout really loudly, to get rid of stress.

J: Ahh, we're not doing that recently, are we?

K: Ah, I see.

J: We can't yell at lives and stuff.

K: Well, Joe, you still talk a lot, but I've been talking less than usual.

T: Yeah.

J: Well, the number of conversations we have has decreased, right? Like, we don't go out drinking with friends..it builds stress.

K: Drinking makes your voice louder too, right? Joe, you get really loud when you drink! haha.

J: I do! Im so noisy

K: Well, yeah, its because of covid, people can't get their stress out.

J: Yeah. Well, lets think of some fun ways to get rid of stress.

T: Ok, lets think of something.

J: Firstly...

Kami: Something where you are not gonna get hurt and regret it.

J: Yes. But this is only dangerous because its tvs and computers, right, Kami? What if it were straw dolls or something?

Kami: Ah, in that case you'd hit your hand under the doll with the hammer.

J: Ah, you would. haha

Kami: There's no need for hammers and stuff.

J: Haha

T: He's peaceful.

J: Yeah

T: Very godlike.

K: But thats him messing up, right?

J: Oh, I see, its not that he's peaceful, its just about him messing up and hitting his own hand with the hammer. Does that make him a bit cute?

Kami: How about when you are opening a box and you pull it open with all your might, you cut your hand, right?

Kami: Cutting your hand on a box..

K: Oh, on a box, yeah. That happens a lot. I've been ordering online a lot recently. It cuts your fingers. ???*4

T: Yeh yeh, haha.

J: Also, when you get a package delivered and leave it in the hallway, and then bash your little toe off it when you walk past. Its only a small thing, but it hurst so much, right? Like, 'Uaaghh', you don't know what to do, right?

T: Yeah, thats annoying.

J: It really is. It would be better to just unpack it, but when you leave it there and bash your toe, its so bad!

Kami: Do you get annoyed?

T: What?

Kami: Do you get annoyed? As for me, if I bashed my little toe, I would think, 'Oh, not again!'. I would just be fed up.

K: Cute.

J: Haha, yeah. Whats happened to Kami today?

T: But yeh, it is those little things that often cause the big outbursts of anger. Just cutting your hand a tiny bit or something.

Kami: What would you call being fed up? Its not anger, but what is it?

J: What do you call that? Yeah.

T: Sulky?

K: Depression?

Kami: A sulking room would be good.

J: Ah, haha. Yeah, a sulking room.

Kami: It looks like there'd only be me in it.

T: Kami seems a bit sad today.

J: He does. Kami, did something bad happen to you?

Kami: Uh, yes, daily. All the time.

J: Oh, I see. Well, maybe not a rage room, but lets comfort each other in a sulking room.

T: Yeah, next time.

Kami: Yes please.

T: Lets get rid of the stress.

J: Yeah, haha.

K: Ok, lets finish here for this week.

J: Yes, im a little worried about Kami, but..

K: Thank you very much.

*1,2,3,4 - Couldn't catch/wasn't sure.

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[thedreadvampy]

Tbf on the Martin thing while i know that's not what you meant the reason alot of people got pussy was cause it was right about the time they'd been an issue with acephobia in the greater fandom already and the way you phrased it tbh did really feel like you were equating ace!Martin and Martin being infantilised in a post about martin being infantilised being bad. Basically it kinda sounded like you didn't want people hc-ing Martin as ace because it was infantilising (which also then linked back to some shit that happened with ace discourse) and the post blew up a bit and that mixed with you Knowing Jonny and you coming off pretty aggro or not wanting to give a straight answer on what you meant (or that's what people felt you were doing) yeah that's why that went that way.

Tbf I'm not really interested in relitigating who was right and who was wrong in that particular argument, I feel the way I feel and other people feel differently and I think everything's pretty much already been said like six months ago. I asked because I couldn't remember what happened not because I was longing for the days of pointless arguing.

however because I can't resist digging myself deeper Ever I'll relitigate it anyway under the cut

I have little to no involvement with the wider fandom so I'm not sure how their acephobia was on me in any way

I could have worded the post better but I maintain it takes a pretty bad faith reading of the post to think that my problem is with ace Martin hcs when I specifically said both in the post and the tags and further clarifications that I was talking about the way that people desexualise fat, queer and abused people OUTSIDE of ace hcs

I have said about a zillion times that me knowing Jonny doesn't mean I know shit about TMA and that we've literally never talked about it. which being the case it is pure wild that people think it's a reasonable reason to treat me like some sort of voice of authority.

I have also said about a billion times and will say again that people aren't in fact entitled to demand a full accounting of a stranger's opinions out of the blue. like it is, in fact, confusing and surprising to me the degree to which people took personally the idea that a stranger could be annoyed or disinterested in discussing something that they wanted them to talk about. that's why I keep thinking there must be more to the anger about me from certain users. but like nah apparently 90% of the reason people get pissed off at me is either a) Using The Wrong Tone To Talk To Myself On My Personal Blog which they interpret as attacking them personally or b) Not Being Constantly Available On Demand To Answer And Reanswer Questions That Shouldn't Even Be Questions In The Full Knowledge That Any Poor Wording Will Be Treated As Malice. Sorry, my tone's getting a tad aggro again, I do recognise that, but I find it really frustrating to have it consistently treated as deeply inherently suspicious and/or malicious to not immediately rattle off a perfect answer to "questions" which are fairly thinly veiled traps. like there is no good answer to "what's your opinion on ace people." "ace people exist" is not a matter of opinion and I could just say "ace people are valid and good and fine uwu" which is like. True. but also utterly trite and validates the idea that point in a random stranger's inbox to grill them about Which Minorities Are Valid Uwu is in any way an acceptable or boundaried way to behave. Which I don't believe it is, and treating it as if it's a totally normal and fine thing to do just to get people to leave me alone would be pretty unprincipled imo.

Like I say I've said all this before, I'm just retreading old ground. But in terms of the Why Did This Blow Up, yeah I hear what you're saying but even trying to step back from my own experience and view this from outside, I'm still pretty surprised that a kind of shittily worded post at a bad time (from a blog that was pretty detached from the wider TMA fandom) followed by an Insufficient Disavowal of extremely nebulous accusations of acephobia, ended up being such a big thing.

Like literally. the majority of the messages I was getting were i n c r e d i b l y broad and vague. they said things like "what's your opinion on ace people" and "are you an aphobe" and I repeatedly answered them saying "I mean ace people exist and are my friends and comrades, what's the question?"

And I hope that when people raised specific issues about my actual conduct I answered them. I certainly tried to, to the best of my abilities - like I got a bit defensive initially but I agreed that my wording in the Martin post was poor and I did my best to clarify my intention (which had been to say "IF WE ASSUME THAT Martin isn't aroace," which I thought was a fair assumption when from context I was talking about a Martin being written in sexual or romantic relationships, but which I phrased as "Martin isn't [list of items including aroace]" bc as with most of my posts I wrote it in one go without reading it back). I kept saying that if people were specific about what was wrong with my conduct specifically, what they wanted explained and what they wanted me to change, I was happy to discuss that, but I wasn't happy to give some sort of Simple Definitive Answer to broad questions that were not mine to speak authoritatively on and which I often was like "I can't even begin to tell you my opinions on the answer until we unpick the question a LOT" (like. yes I could say honestly that I believe that ace/aro people are queer as a topline answer but if we go any deeper than that then we need to unpick what queerness is, what aro/aceness is, what context we're talking in, what is meant by queer spaces, etc etc and it's not something I would feel honest giving a yes/no answer to when a lot of people mean a lot of different things by the question, some of which I agree with and some of which I don't.) And it's not helped by the fact that when I have tried to answer questions in a way which feels honest, which inevitably gets long and ramble bc that's how my brain works, people have repeatedly got really hostile not because of what I say but because I've written an answer longer than "yes I fully agree with every possible permission of your point." like literally I have had people rant about how I'm being defensive or dodging the question when a) they haven't actually read my answer by their own admission and b) I'm literally. answering the question. it's fundamentally baffling to me that giving a short unnuanced answer with the intent of getting someone off your back is seen as less "dodging the question" than giving a paragraphs-long thoughtful and inconclusive answer. like this isn't a fucking debate. I'm not here to win an argument. I'm here to think about what I believe and why, and sometimes an honest answer is neither simple or conclusive.

idk man this post is actively unhelpful to everyone but me, but while I don't WANT to relitigate this every time I mention it I DO want to be absolutely clear that I have thought about all these things at length. some things were my fuckup, some things I stand by, but I still think it ended up with a response wildly disproportionate to the actual mistakes I made.

(which were there. evidently. but it seems like a very strange and spiralling way to react to "person who words things ambiguously and doesn't always give immediate clear responses to broad questions about complex issues")

[jedivszombie]

myspace died a death. livejournal was bought by russians and died a death. twitter is run by a man with an overly inflated ego who doesn’t give half a shit about the things his company does to make people’s lives worse who are using his fucking product. facebook is just hell because once again it’s run by a man with an overly inflated ego who thinks he’s god because the little site he made to rate girls now interferes with global politics. 

like it just makes me incredibly angry and frustrated that they have evolved their platforms beyond the point of enjoyment or actual use as that previous post I reblogged stated. back in the day you had to pay to have access to some of the premium messaging services (apple, aol for example) and like chatrooms existed but then they became these wider platforms that were easier to access and find and personalise and to an extent control your experiences (like I used to use chatrooms a lot as a young teenager but when I discovered twitter and tumblr it felt different and was a better way to control my online experience and choose who I interacted with). 

and it’s just like I’ve always been such a strong supporter of social media and I really think that, while there is bad on social media, as a concept it is not inherently bad and it can benefit so many people and can be used for good (whether that is just getting to connect with people who have different lived experiences than you, or as a way to spread information). but as twitter and facebook have grown it’s like they’ve done everything they possibly can to both throttle the market so there’s nowhere to go (yay capitalism!) and to make sure it no longer caters to the people who helped make social media what it is today, 

like sure these guys created these platforms and released them into the world but it’s the users who have made social media (for better or for worse like there is no way to extract users from the equation). but of course these guys are creating solutions to problems that don’t even exist, which then creates those problems but their solutions get proven to be inadequate anyway - and it’s all so they can line their pockets and make sure that we have nowhere else to go because of course Facebook and Twitter have bought out so many other products. 

but tumblr was also so great because sure it has always been cringe as all hell but there’s been a level of authentic that its users have brought to the site that really hasn’t changed in the 11 years I’ve been on here. like it’s evolved from everyone being like ‘oh yay staff’ to being like ‘fuck u staff this update is shit’ but despite yahoo buying it for an extremely ridiculous amount of money for some reason as a user base and a platform tumblr has managed to resist the shifts that Twitter and Facebook were all too happy to jump on. 

anyway this probably all sounds super dramatic, and I am just rambling now, but these sites have managed to create an online world where it’s much more possible than before to connect with people in places that some of us may never get to visit (and I know that’s been happening for long before social media but this facilitates and makes it easier to connect with people or just hide/be anonymous/vibe) and after creating these different possibilities for social media they’re now desperate to make it as profitable as possible that they are destroying the very idea of social media.