#also parents return today and i dont want them to lmao

[piplupod]

hearing the question "how are you doing?" every single day i show up (not an issue in and of itself) and i cannot say "i am not doing well actually, but how are you?" because they seem to have an unofficial no bummers rule in place (with the exception of like two elders who i guess have somehow earned the right to gripe and complain when no one else is allowed to, even other elders) (being unable to reply even somewhat truthfully is the issue at hand) but oh my god I am Not Doing Well

[raidenfanclub]

Here's a list of things I've been obsessed with at one point or another/still am obsessed with

inspired by a post made by my bitc*-as*s-sister @deargodhelpmeaaaaaaaaa

this is like in order of when I was obsessed, going from elementary school to today (late high school)

There's so many lmao- the ones showed above are like the most impactful interests I've had- I've liked other things, they just didn't rewrite my goofy brain like all these did

ok explanation time

Pokemon- absolutely loved these games as a kid. I gaslit my older sister into thinking pokemon were real when we were really young. Almost my entire elementary school life was defined by this series and I adore all my pokemon plushies.

FNAF- ok so my sister liked it, so then I liked it. Our neighborhood friend and us had a whole club centered around the characters and we kinned assigned ourselves with all the animatronics. I was Mangle/Foxy btw.

Zelda- Probably one of the most influential games of my entire life. I played through so many of them in the later part of my elementary school years and cherished my toon Link plushie. I literally considered myself ThE gIrL lInK and pretended I was him. Breath of the Wild came out when I was deeply obsessed with the games and also when I was having an extremely awful time in my life. Botw may have unironically saved me. This series is a cornerstone to my identity.

Undertale- My sister liked it, so then I did too. Me, her, and her best friend, kin assigned ourselves characters without knowing what kinning was. I was temmie and muffet btw. I loved this game- then hated it because thats what was considered cool. But nowadays I just love it because its truly an amazing game and I dont care about its fandom reputation anymore.

(ima mention mincraft- even tho its not listed- minecraft was another cornerstone of my happiness and identity)

Hatsune Miku (and just vocaloid in general)- another "my sister liked it, so then I did" i liked the characters and the music. Me and my sister went to an event for the Miku expo one time, and it was so much fun. (it was an event where everybody drew miku and itd be scanned for the "Blue Star" music video, i remember it vividly) was an amazing time. I still like some vocaloid songs and love miku. Some of my school friends say I'm the real hatsune miku because I own a miku cosplay lol.

Splatoon- Everybody in middle school knew me as the girl with the squid bag and zelda jacket. I adored splatoon with the release of splatoon 2. I played it with my friends, I played it on my own, I made big deals out of splatfest (to the point where my parents were like "oh its splatfest? that's ur favorite!!) this game also really pushed me into becoming an artist. I would spend hours trying to recreate the artstyle and for like 2 years, all i ever drew was splatoon art. Another cornerstone series like Zelda.

Persona- oh no another cornerstone of my identity series... I look back at these games very critically and nowadays am not a huge fan of the writing choices. But in middle school, when I first played these games- omg they made me a better person because of how much I wanted to be like the protagonists. I wanted to be a reliable friend like them, so I worked really hard to try and become a better person. Despite the problems in the writing, these games really did help me- also they were my introduction to shin megami tensei) I should also note, THE ART! Playing persona encouraged me to shift my cartoony splatoon style into a more semi-realistic anime style like persona. My art improved monumentally from how much I studied Soejima's illustrations. It really inspired me.

Evangelion- I actually read the manga first. I reread it a bunch because covid started up and I had it checked out from the library. We couldnt return them with covid restrictions so I just reread them a bunch. Then I eventually watched the show and just loved it. I got my sister into it a year after I did, and we made a tradition of watching End of Evangelion once a month. Also a major influence on how I view writing and my artstyle.

Shin Megami Tensei- OK ANOTHER CORNERSTONE BUT these games made me realize the depth video games can have. Even though some of the games are really on the noise with their themes- games like Nocturne and Strange Journey blew me away with their creativity. I have so much to say about this series but I will keep it concise and say that this may be my all time favorite series (though its a close contender with Metal Gear)

JoJo- First off, I adore the art so much. But my friend encouraged me and my sister to watch it, we really enjoyed binging the series- and then I read the rest of the manga (SBR MY BELOVED). But i think why i especially love jojo is the friends I made from it, I joined the Fandom wiki community (and although it had its toxicity) I met one of my best friends there and had so much fun drawing things for my online buddies and chatting. Im not on the wiki anymore, but i still talk to some friends from it- and I still really enjoy the series itself PART 9 IS SO FUN SO FAR!!

Monster Hunter- really mh rise, I havent gotten to playing the other games (YET) but me and my sister play thsi game together, its awesome, I love the monsters, I got really good at drawing dragons because I would constantly draw the creatures from this series. I own the mh world artbook and that thing has got to be the best artbook ever- its my bible.

NieR/Drakengard- the same friend who recommended jojo to me recommended nier to me (he's such a real one, absolute bestie) We were gonna play replicant together but he got grounded so he let me experience it on my own. And I adored replicant, it was so fun to play with zero expectation of what it was. the Nier games may have my favorite sort of aesthetic but also I love its characters and its writing. Of course, when I got into Nier I went and played Drakengard also!!! Me and my sister played all these games together (tho she didnt play replicant with me, she just walked in on the most crucial plot points) But we played Drakengard 3 together, (ultimate sister bonding experience) and even though drakengard 3 IS SO FLAWED, we had a lot of fun. The Final Boss (which took me 3 weeks to beat btw) was so much fun for us (i still refight it sometimes) ... We of course played Drakengard 1, we spent $130 to get it actually, played it all (i suffered thru obtaining ending E) and we though it was awesome. Still havent played Drakengard 2 yet, but one day. I love this series for its writing, characters, aesthetics, and being able to discuss it with my evil sister.

Genshin- i dont wanna talk about it. I played it with friends, made me happy to become closer to ppl by playing it. I like some of the characters. ok bye...

Metal Gear Solid- My sister says I had the ultimate character arc by going from being obsessed with Genshin to being a die-hard Metal Gear Fan. I played all the games in late 2022, and it's probably the most brainrot I have ever experienced for a series- absolutely a cornerstone series. Everything about it is just awesome. I could go on for hours. I HAVE GONE ON FOR HOURS (to my poor friends) I literally made my tumblr just to look at metal gear fanart. The games inspired me to finally get better at drawing realism, and some of my most iconic art has come from my fanart for the games. I love my friends in the fanbase too, its awesome. I think about Metal Gear every single day. Never missed a dose of my metal gear fangirlling pills.

Silent Hill- My sister and I were playing sh2 together, then didnt play it for 6 months, and then I played the entire game without her (sorry maddy) Im still going through the 1st game and have the 3rd one in my backlog- but the atmosphere and psycological horror in these games is everything to me. The creature design and lighting choices have inspired my art, and I think about these games all the time. The latter half of sh2 actually terrified me a bit, and horror games dont really scare me.

Resident Evil- I have no idea how I got into the games but I played re4 over winter break this year, and realllly liked it- I adore Leon and I don't care what anybody else claims, HE IS MY MAN. But after re4 I played re2r and re7, and I just love the gameplay and the characters. Even if the games are really goofy and not really scary (I have balls of steel, re7 didnt scare me, but i loved the tension) But i love the goofiness and how campy they are. Me and my sister played re5 together and made a bunch of silly jokes- making resident evil multiplayer was the best decision ever. I can't wait to play the rest of the series.

Trigun- My most recent obsession (although it coincides with my silent hill and resident evil hyperfixations), I had first watched the show like 3 years ago- REALLLY LIKED IT- but didnt finish the anime. And then never touched it until I saw stampede's first episode. I went a watched the 1998 anime and read the manga. I can't describe how much this series has come to mean to me and it literally won't leave my head. I don't like stampede. I love the animation but I just can't. It's a-ok if your a fan, i genuinely see the appeal but you'll only catch me talking about it if its either about peak quality animation or a 3-hour rant about my problems with the writing. THE ORIGINAL SERIES HOWEVER! means the world to me. I reread volume 10 like 6 times and cried eachtime. My friend explains things to me in "trigun" terminology" as a joke when we have personal conversations. I love trigun so much.

Ok there's def more things I really enjoy, like Nijisanji, Ghost-n-pals, Chainsaw man, Death Stranding, Honkai Impact, Sailor Moon,,, the list goes on. But Everything I wrote essays about are my most physically obvious obsessions

Nijisanji actually deserves its own paragraph but im tired lol.

[yesimwriting]

hi, i love all your work! could i please request headcanons for what it'd be like to go from being enemies to lovers with nikolai lantsov.

thank you:)

A/N maybe i moved this up on my request lists bc i woke up today and went 'nikolai lantsov'

--

- i'm being a little liberal with cannon bc my mind first went to 'princess! reader who hates nikolai bc they're competitive and then they have to team up together to try to get their parents to break up their arranged marriage but fall in love in the process (this might be a little undetailed but i'm thinking of writing a full fic or mini-series with this plotline so let me know if you'd be interested!! i could see a smutty ending to that fic but idk,, lmk what you thing ig lol)

- Ok so first off enemies to lovers with the loml nikolai lantsov would be SO GOOD bc he's so dramatic and obviously attractive so even though you hate him you know he's hot,, there's never a dramatic realization that he's attractive bc it's just a fact

- butttt you'd rather give up any claim you have to your family's throne than feed his already gigantic ego

- okk but lets get to the beginning of your enemies to lovers relationship

- so basically every summer your parents go and stay with Nikolai's family at this super fancy vacation home bc your parents are both royalty and your kingdoms have a very healthy relationship

- just bc it's the summer season doesn't mean it's summer vacation,, so as children for about a month you two share a tutor,, and when i tell you that created a rivalry so fast i mean it

- you're not the eldest princess and you're always trying to be the best for your parents approval, nikolai just wanted to impress the really smart girl who had a pretty laugh (poor nikolai lol,, he had no way of knowing how important being the best in school no matter what was to your self esteem)

- maybe if you two could communicate you’d like each other a little better at this point but it starts when you’re pretty young and by the time you’re like 13 it’s a solidified dynamic (and 13 year olds are the MEANEST and most insecure people in the world so that’s when your relationship turns to full enemies)

- now that you’re 13 you have more princess-y requirements, especially over the summer. So when you see that Nikolai gets to practice with swords and gets more free time while you have to practice setting tables you hate him more than ever. 

- Nikolai senses that you’re extra hostile but he has no idea why,, he tries asking once but he makes a joke about how ‘maybe you’re jealous bc youre no longer the center of my attention’ and even though he’s just trying to ease the tension you feel like he’s making fun of you

- so that’s when things get aggressive, but at that point summer is almost over so it’s whatever

- next summer comes and you’re still SO MAD at him,, so when you get to the estate you’re like ‘i’m not even talking to him idc how quiet these next three months are’ 

- and you get there all determined to hate him,, but once you get there and see him something in you cracks bc he had the audacity to spend the last year going through puberty AND LIKE HE’S ALWAYS BEEN CUTE BUT THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE 

- so youre mentally panicking bc how do you even talk to someone that looks like that now???? but then you remember that you didnt even want to talk him so in a panic youre like ‘maybe i can avoid him and he’ll just assume it’s bc i hate him bc i do,, who cares if he’s unbelievably hot now’ 

- nikolai doesn’t assume anything, he just gets to the estate and is like ‘why hasn’t she insulted me yet?? is she suddenly too good to give me attention?’ so during the lessons that you still share he gets an idea

- he decides to one-up you in everything bc that’s always gotten a reaction out of you 

- it works,, every time he corrects you or steals an answer from you, you’re ready to snap but then you look at him and take in his stupidly perfect face and  you just shut up 

- nikolai thinks it’s not working so he just tries harder

- by the end of week one you can’t take it anymore so when the tutor leaves at the end of lessons you snap, you tell him off for how often he’d repeat what you said and change a few words and get all the praise from the tutor

- on the inside he’s like ‘took long enough’ but the more you rant he’s like ‘is she okay???’ he’d be more concerned if you weren’t threatening his pride and at this point he’s still annoyed bc if you were that annoyed you should have just talked to him instead of ignoring him for a week

- he’s thinking that just bc you got really pretty over the last year doesn’t make you too good to yell at him on the daily

- the worst thing anyone can do to nikolai is ignore him LMAO (lowkey relatable)

- so he starts arguing with you and you’re so upset that you forget about how aggressively attractive he is 

- and you two are alone in this room and the more you argue the closer you two get

- the climax of the argument is when neither of you are yelling, you’re just so mad you’re beyond raising your voice and once you’re both at that point it goes like this: 

“Nikolai Lantsov, you are the most insufferable person I’ve ever met” 

“Well then, Darling, you should look in a mirror.” 

“You are so entitled, so ridiculously self obsessed that it ruins your attractiveness.” 

“...” he literally just like blinks twice. “You think I’m attractive?” 

“Uh? No--i didn’t say that at all, maybe if you didn’t have the language comprehension of a child you’d understa--” he just reaches forward, grabs the collar of your dress, and kisses you. 

- it’s your first kiss so you have no idea what you’re doing and it’s with some one you CANT STAND and you’re so mad bc you had expectations for your first kiss and he’s taken that from you--but the thing is,, 

- he’s good at it. Like really good at it. Like so good it makes you curious about what he does the nine months of the year he’s not stuck here with you bc there’s no way he hasn’t had practice. 

- but you’re also extremely confused and nervous and aware of how stupid you’re being (and a little hormonal bc being 14 isn’t easy) and then he places his hand on your cheek and that snaps some sense of reality into you bc it’s one thing to enjoy the kiss but another thing entirely to want him to escalate it

- so you place one hand on his chest and push him off of you slightly. He takes the hint, pulls away enough to look at you and then you two just stare at each other 

- your hand is still on his chest and you have absolutely no idea what comes next, but you find yourself looking at his lips

- since you haven’t slapped him or pulled away more than a few inches he thinks maybe things are okay so he leans forward slightly and kisses you again. 

- you reciprocate a little too fast, the kiss lasts two seconds before thinking about how insane you’re being so you push away entirely. 

- He lets you go,, and in the most awkward display ever you’re like ‘uh I need to go,, i can’t be late to ball preparation lessons’ and you leave that room faster than you’ve ever left a room in your entire life. 

- the next day you consider pretending to be sick to avoid him but that would only give him more power over the situation so you go,, and he’s just sitting there calmly

- youre on edge the entire day but he never even jokes about it

- a part of you is a tiny bit annoyed bc who kisses you and then pretends it never happened? but overall, you’re relieved 

- the days pass and it never comes up but now whenever you two argue you think of how quickly kissing him both shut him up and got rid of your tension 

- the summer goes by quickly, your usual dynamic has returned and you wonder if he even remembers kissing you. twice. in a row. 

- the next couple of years are normal,, even when you two no longer take lessons together you still dont like him. He’s just so assured and he takes such joy in bothering you. 

- and then one summer your parents sit you down and they’re like ‘we need to plan the future alliance of our kingdom’ 

- you’re a little confused bc you’re rarely allowed to sit in on these things bc you’re a girl and you’re basically meant to just be a royal’s bride--and then you realize why you’re there. 

- you start protesting before your father can finish announcing your engagement 

- the parents were smart bc they announced it at the end of summer so you two couldn’t drive them crazy or conspire

- the first thing you do when you get back to your castle is write to him for the first time ever 

- your letter is basically ‘pls tell me you’re doing something’ 

- the two of you talk until you come up with the plan to get your parents to break up your engagement 

- your parents dont really care about your feelings and they expect the two of you to argue with them,, but they care about the kingdoms

- so you two decide that if you act like youre so in love that you let your duties slip the engagement will end,, especially if you two are in love in a toxic way 

- so the next summer you two make sure to flirt and act like youre totally obsessed with each other and skip lessons together and just are constantly together and acting like you’re on a honeymoon

- your parents are like ?? since when 

- at one point you flirt with a random guard just so Nikolai can have a ‘jealous outburst’ while your families are strolling through the garden 

- ngl jealous nikolai had you ready to RISK IT ALL,, you were ready to drop the plan and marry him on the spot 

- he notices bc he notices everything about you and when your family walks away he gives you a quick kiss and youre stunned,, much to his delight 

- your desire to break up your engagement takes a slight backseat in your mind bc you decide to set off on a secret goal to make him flustered

- it doesn’t take much, your dresses get a little more risky, your comments get a little more suggestive

- the only problem?? he seems to have his own personal goal and it’s to make you even more flustered than he is

- soon the two of you are lost in layers of pretend and competition

- when your parents are finally thinking about delaying the engagement and keeping you two away from each other until you calm down a little (i feel bad for them,, an entire summer of being surrounded by the ULTIMATE sexual tension) 

- you’re sad and you don’t know why bc this is what you wanted, but then Nikolai stands up and says that you two planned for this and he has the letters to prove it (he was ready to drop the receipts LMAO) and youre like ??what are you doing?

- and he says he’d rather marry you then never see you again bc now all he wants is to get know you bc he has no idea how he wasted so much time arguing with you 

- and you just meltttt but your in front of your entire family and his as well so you just sit there for a minute and then you tell him you feel the same way 

- but the summer’s over

- you kiss him before leaving and he says you’ll have to visit bc he can’t go an entire year without seeing your ‘pretty face’ 

- you promise to visit him soon

- your at home for exactly a day and a half before getting an invitation to visit him 

- you laugh bc the only way that letter could get to you that fast is if he mailed it before you even left 

- you say yes obviously,, and spend some time having a really cute fall-dating vibes together until you figure out how you really feel 

- and you feel like he makes your heart STOP and that’s why you hated him,, bc you didn’t like being vulnerable 

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[xxgothchatonxx]

Happy 1am! My uterus is trying to commit murder & I really want ice cream but I just brushed my teeth so I think The Kiss is the only thing sustaining me tonight.

Dolce:

* And we open withhhhhhh a drop of blood! As so many episodes do.

* OH SHIT THIS IS THE ONE WHERE HE WALKS AROUND FLORENCE LOOKING BEAT TO SHIT!!! Amazing, spectacular, dare I dykely say, sexy.

* No, the sexy part is Bedelia bathing him. Oh, to be cared for by a Milf. A lesbians dream come true.

* UGH THE SCORE IN THIS OPENING ALONE!!!!! The cracks & cranes & little ticks & drops & hums! AMAZING!!!!!!

* And our reunion on Florence!!!! With two limping old friends. One from a fight & one from *wheezing* falling off a train.

* “Will you slip away with him [Hanni]?” “Part of me will want to.” Don’t be shy, babe, you can do it.

* Why DIDNT Jack kill OH YUP GOOD ANSWER!

* Oh NOOOOOOO NOT THE END!!!! Thank you for giving me this scene, my darling. I’m so grateful.

* History repeating itself is the central theme of this damn show.

* God damn, I don’t think I blinked that entire time. OH MY GOD, THAT CLICKING RETURNS WITH THE KISS!!!!

* “But not today.” Ma’am, what if I die? It will be your fault. God. Women. 😍

* CERDO!

* Cordell is THIS close to loosing his job. Oh nvm, he’s Peking. I do love Peking duck😋

* LMAOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!!! The giant glazed Hannibal.

* Oh Margot looks GOOD!

* Bedelia, what are you OH RIGHT YOU’RE GONNA GET HIGH!

* Chiyoh & Bedelia. Yummmmmmmmy

* OH I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THIS BIRD METAPHOR!!! AMAZINGGGGGG!

* Cage him. Like that man now hanging.

* “I thought Will Graham was Hannibal’s biggest mistake…I wonder if it isn’t you.”

* I’m fine with needles, but THIS OH DID SHE HAVE TO BITE HER LIPS???

* I’M SORRY, I HAVE TO LAUGH!!!! High Bedelia with Will AND Jack?? YES, PLEASE!!!!

* Ugh, she’s so high, but So Cute.

* Oh, we love a reversal! Will doesn’t believe her like how she actually believed him!

* Lmao Jack’s impressed!🤣

* Of course Will pulls a Batman.

* Margot needs a new foundation. Or a just no foundation lips.

* “I could take parenting classes.”🤣🤣🤣

* OH HE’S BACK! Working on his art, once again.

* MUSEUM DATE WITH THE BOYFRIEND HELL YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

* LOOK AT THEIR FUCKING FACES!!!!!

* “If I saw you every day, forever, Will, I would remember this time.” “Strange seeing you here in from of me. Been staring at afterimages of you in places you haven’t been in years.” They’re so in love, your honor.

* “How is Chiyoh?” “She pushed me off a train.” “Atta girl.” SHUT UP, I LOVE HIM! Also, yes, OF COURSE I’m thinking Caro thoughts.

* “You & I have begun to blur.” & that’s what I love about this fucking show. THEY’RE CONNECTED, PEOPLE!!!!

* I know I haven’t finished this show, but that was easily my favorite scene of the entire thing so far. Nope; I lied. Season 2 ending THEN museum date.

* CHIYOH BABE, DON’T HOLD BACK! I BELIEVE IN YOU!

* NOT THE BOY, GET THE CANNIBAL!!!!

* I’m sorry, did we just cut to The Sapphics? We did.

* Adore the kaleidoscope.

* Time to rank! This lesbian gives it a 7/10! (remind me to send you the podcast ep. I did on Lesbian in movies)

* Give Bedelia her Oscar! Hand over mouth theatrics. Amazing.

* LE GASP!

* Absolutely fucking dying over this God conversation. “Does God gloat?” “Often.” BASTARD!

* Did I blink and miss Hannibal injecting Will with something? Because I feel like I did.

* OH THE BUTTER INTO THE TABLE! YESSSS

* Ahhhh, the soup!!!! Let’s hope this one doesn’t kill his immune system.

* He’s so dramatic. Calm Down, Hanni.

* DONT ATTACK HIS SOUP!!!!

* Oh no wait no. Please tell me this isn’t leg day.

* Jack, what are you snooping around for?

* OH WITH CHIYOH! My dark academia goddess.

* Let’s see how long it takes for them to try & kill each other.

* And what did you find? Your old friend!

* OH NO NOT THE ANKLE!

* Damn, she’s still at it!!! Her eyes DONT YOU DARE TOUCH HER!!!!!

* Please babe, just punch his nose. We all want it.

* And I see that Jack has joined for dinner. So, not leg day.

* Every one’s eyes in this episode is extra emotional & sparkly!

* HANNIBAL WHAT IS THAT FOR???

* Hannibal, I know isn’t happening! You’d never do that to him! Right? RIGHT?!

* HANNIBAL AND JACK!!!!! OH MY GOD!

* Fucking NBC Joker I STG!

* I will admit, very strong episode. But more so in the Florence department than anything else. I wasn’t that interested with the Vergers. The museum date was the best part.

Bloody and beaten!Hanni is one of the sexiest types of Hanni, which is why I think you're going to enjoy the next episode :D

Slight side-note, Gillian Anderson sounded so much like Anthony Hopkins (ok in terms of tone and such) when she said "but not today..." and that just makes it so much sexier to me.

Ahh yes, the legendary gallery reunion... which was turned into fanart that is now hanging in the U.S. Capitol... I am not kidding 😂 also Hanni is saying a quote that he said to Clarice in the book - "if I saw you every day forever" etc. so in case there is ANY doubt (not from you of course <3) that he is in love with Will... they literally used one of the most blatantly romantic lines from the books!

Ok, so the kaleidoscope s3x scene - I adored this scene because a) it's filmed so uniquely that it's such a "lol, what the fuck" moment when you first see it, but also b) this is the first s3x scene that is a pure, loving, no-hidden-agendas-and-no-thinking-about-other-people intercourse between two people. Like, it's such a beautiful intimate moment between these two women who have been hurt so much, but have found comfort and love in each other, you know what I mean? Also the writer of this episode is Don Mancini aka the creator of Chucky who recently gave us That Epic Scene in the Chucky show sooooo this is a very queer horror show 😂

Now onto the mid-season finale! I expect a lot of screaming, and I also have a bit of homework for you - try and work out which scene my grandma accidentally walked in on, and proceeded to go "wait, what on earth are you watching?" "Hannibal." "...that cannot be Hannibal Lecter, this man is attractive" 😂

[turnaboutyandere]

Ace attorney characters when you pack a bento box (boxed lunch) for them:

(In japan that's a indirect expression of love and in this case a confession)

Phoenix gets it right away. He smiles and blushes. And as he kisses y/n for the first time realizes he might not need to chase rivals away. Out of all of them hes probably the softest receiving a bento box. He jumps straight to calling you his girlfriend. Phoenix thinks about it all day and when he opens it come lunchtime and finds a little love note above his rice he tears up.

(Also if you make two, one for him and one for trucy he will melt)

Miles DOESNT get it right away. He doesnt understand why, when he has so much money, y/n would feel the need to pack him a lunch. He doesnt understand why his confusion causes y/n such a blush for a good five minutes. By the time he remembers the cultural significance they already left. He texts them something between sweet and formal. At noon (though I think he does have a tendency to skip lunch to work) he opens it and finds a little love note. He feels a lot of things at once and just like him ends up very smug

Franziska is silent for a second. It's not that she understands the implications, it completely flies over her head. No shes quiet cause she believes she should be taking care of you and not vice versa. Then she tells y/n to set it on the table, and is very confused when they leave the room practically skipping. It isn't until shes having lunch and her brother and gumshoe walk into the room to give her paperwork does she understand. Her brother asks her were she got it (idk if she's a good cook or would bother learning Japanese cooking) and when she relays your confounding behavior miles has the nerve to laugh. Then gumshoe surprisingly explains it to her. She turns pink and carefully opens it. Sure enough theres a love note in a sealed bag to keep it clean. That evening she buys a locket.

You have to know Diego for a very long time before he let's you cook for him. And he will never again accept open drinks from anyone. So y/n ever the sweetie invites him over in the early morning and hopes it doesnt irritate him. ( it doesnt cause hes already normally there). When he shows up y/n invites him in and leads him to the kitchen and they cook together so he can see whats in everything. He doesnt admit it but it makes him feel like they're married. It's when she hands him not his lunch but a bottled coffee still sealed does he go from crushing to love. Though he didnt like the extra sugar and milk in Japanese bottled coffee, they validated his trauma and therefore is not getting rid of him now.

Dahlia is an odd case. She pretends to not understand. She laughs her laugh like silver bells and thanks them as sweet as she can but I dont think she actually eats it. She worries shes been found out. That your trying to poison her. I can see her being better safe than sorry. Still she opens it to take a picture to post on her social media and sees the love note. She reads it once then again. And smiles sly. Her plan was working

Iris on the other hand completely understands and let's you know she knows. She asks if their seriously ok with dating someone already under oaths and vows. If thier ok respecting such boundaries. When y/n nods she begins to cry. At lunch time when she opens it she begins to cry again for two reasons

1) it's made specifically with her eating restrictions in mind. Y/n did their research

And

2) the love note. Oh goodness the love note. Never before has such a small paper made a girl so happy.

Wocky feels guilty that you pulled the bento thing first. His parents are Japanese and run a cafe and he couldn't make you a bento. When he voices his concerns and they take it as him accepting the confession and kiss him he feels a little better. He normally eats what his parents make for lunch but today. Is different. When he finds the love note he cries. He feels safe with s/o for the first time. Alita never wrote love notes or cooked lunches.

Mia the sweet women she is, flushed but tries to stay somewhat level headed, somewhat her normal level of cool. She sets it on her desk and takes y/n into her arms. She doesn't ask if they mean it cause shes scared they dont. That...it would destroy her, so she doesnt give them a chance. She would return the favor the next day but imagine be honest. I dont think she can cook either. She keeps the love note with everything else that reminds her if y/n. In a jewelry box under a floorboard.

Klavier doesnt understand it.... Much like franziska, he has no clue. But In a way he does? He knows this is something y/n put time and effort and money into, all for him. So he accepts it, calling y/n beautiful in the process. He doesnt get the fact that it was a confession...at first. Then he Googles what it means and sure enough it was a confession. And hes relieved cause he had accepted it and complimented them. He had agreed to their confession.

(before anyone says it, yes, I know Kristoph isn’t actually German, but I don’t care. Capcom can rip my “the Gavins are German” headcanon from my cold, dead hands)

Aight, so, ya girl is back. I’m gonna keep the ask box closed for a bit until I clear out all the asks I have (and finish a request) so please be patient. Thank you!

Damon: Doesn’t get it right away, but thinks it’s sweet that you made him lunch. He may google it later assuming he knows how to use google or ask someone about it, which is how he finds out the meaning behind it. Rather than make you a bento box in return, he’ll get you a bouquet of roses and invite you to join him for dinner instead. Between the roses, though, you’ll find a cute little love note with a smiley face scribbled onto it.

Shelly: He’s been around the block a few times, so he likely knows what it means. He’ll thank you and give you a peck on the cheek, promising to make you lunch as well. Once he finishes eating, he’ll put the note somewhere safe so he can reread it whenever he wants.

Matt: Has a security guard try it before he does, for safety reasons. Once he sees how upset you are by that, he’ll apologize and ask you to explain the meaning behind it (he knows he fucked up lmao). After you explain it, he’ll apologize (while being so fucking smug internally) and thank you for the lunch. He can’t cook to save his life, so don’t expect him to return the favor, but he will leave you a little note where you can find it; something along the lines of “I love you, dude <3“.

Kristoph: Prides himself on knowing a little about everything, so for him not to know the meaning behind your gift is unlikely. He’ll happily accept it and give you a gentle kiss on the forehead, all while hiding how smug he feels. He’ll also give you bento box in return, but with German cooking instead of Japanese. Oh, and that little love note you put in there? Expect to find a three page-long love letter in your lunch.

Ray: Pretty knowledgeable about romantic traditions around the world, so the chances of him getting it are pretty high. He’ll thank you for it rather sheepishly, as this is one of the few times you’ll get to see him flustered. Once he reads the note, though, he’ll pull you into a big hug, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. Afterwards, he’ll immediately set out to make you a bento box in return, or take you out to dinner if you prefer.

Sebastian: Bless his dense heart, he’s clueless. He’ll be very thankful though, and promise to make you something in return (despite his nonexistent cooking skills). He’ll likely eat it at work and brag about how you made it for him, which is when Miles steps in to explain the meaning behind it. That + the love note is enough to make him cry tears of joy, and he’ll tackle you in a hug the moment he gets the chance to.

Simon K: Doesn’t know how to feel at first because he’s never had someone make him lunch before. Once he sees the note inside, though, he realizes what it means and becomes even more emotionally confused than before. He’ll thank you, rather awkwardly, and promise to make something for you. He’s not much of a wordsmith but he’ll still add a note, expressing how grateful he is for the lunch.

Katherine: Will be on the verge of tears when you give her the bento box, and will flat-out start crying when she reads the love note. She’ll cling to you, thanking you profusely and promising to make you one as well. She keeps her word and makes you a wonderful bento box the very next day. Instead of a love note, however, you’ll receive a song she wrote about you (and she’ll even sing it to you while you eat).

Bobby: Another very dense yandere who is definitely going to get scolded by Blackquill for not understanding what your gift means. He’ll make up for it though, by going above and beyond to make you the best bento box you’ve ever eaten (it won’t be the prettiest and he’ll likely have burned something, but it’s the thought that counts, right?). He’ll also keep your love note on his bedside table so he can read it every night before bed and every morning when he wakes up.

Simon B: He’s a huge weeaboo Japanese cultural enthusiast, so he’ll get it right away. He’ll tease you about it and act cocky as usual, but in reality, he’s trying to hide the very obvious blush on his face. He’ll keep your note safely tucked away in his coat pocket for whenever he wants to reread it. He won’t return the favor right away, though. Instead, he’ll give it to you when you least expect it in order to fluster you.

______

- Mod Dollie

[moosoobi]

Confessions

In the night: Chapter 2

T.Jeff- Hamilton: the musical 

Y/N can’t hold all her secrets. She’s tired of hiding. The people deserve the truth. Here’s her confession: the one she should’ve told us long ago

I started to write this chapter the day after I finished chapter 1, yet before the first chapter was even published (time management queen). As I’m typing this message, I’m currently distracting myself from finals LMAO. Anyway, I wanted to finish this chapter as soon as possible to give some explanation of the events in the previous chapter, so I hope I do exactly that. I’m still manifesting that I articulate through this story smoothly, please give me feedback <3 

MC (aka Y/N’s) POV 

Modern au 

Word Count: 5.4k

A few unrealistic realities, but I’m working with what I got

This chapter will most likely answer many questions about chapter 1 

THIS CHAPTER OCCURS AT THE SAME TIME AS CHAPTER 1! all events in this chapter line up with the events of chapter 1

Disclaimers: 

TW: violence, abuse, mentions of blood, themes of injury, itty bitty angst?

photo not mine <3

If you have any questions/concerns about this story, DONT BE SHY TO ASK ME! This is my first time writing a whole series, so I apologize if the plot gets confusing. 

-Now Playing: Broken Clocks by SZA-

Where to start… 

My attention was taken from Professor Washington’s lecture the moment I felt a pair of eyes attempting to pierce a hole in the back of my head. As I look back, I realize that it’s no one other than Thomas Jefferson, the spoiled francophile, or so people like the whisper, but gossip’s not my thing.

Upon being called out by Professor Washington, I couldn’t hold in my giggle as Thomas’s head ducks down in embarrassment. I suppose he sure knows how to lighten the demeanor in the lecture hall; It was a nice excuse to take my eyes off of Washington’s low-quality power-point presentation, but I appreciate that the man is trying. 

This class feels like it’ll last forever, and I contemplate if I could just perish in my seat at this very instant, yet Thomas’s presence seems to make it worthwhile. I don’t know him that much, or maybe at all for that matter, but since he’s been seen with a Schuyler, the locals around here can’t seem to keep their mouths shut about him. 

From what I’ve heard, he’s another silver-spoon raised boy representing Virginia up here in New York. A few scholarships here and there, as well as a trip to France for a semester. I don’t see what all the fuss is about; He seems like a pretty cool person, probably has an exciting life, and isn’t throwing away his shot. It’s odd, even with parents to piggyback off of, Thomas is very similar to a certain orphan I know. 

“Class is dismissed” Is all I heard from Professor Washington’s mouth before that obnoxious but relieving bell sounds off. 

Desperate to get out of this class, I hurry to put my stationery items into my burgundy-magenta backpack. You’d think after those turbulent years of high school that college would motivate me for fancier bags, but I can’t say no to my favorite color. It’s simple, won’t bring attention to my presence, unlike every other decision I’ve made in my life. 

After I finally finished packing up, I can’t wait to take a breath of the fresh, polluted air of New York City. I quickly spotted my roommate's car within the crowd of vehicles next to the sidewalk. He’s on time, as always, to pick me up from class, and I’m grateful that he sacrifices his time for me, but it’s not like he had a choice. I toss my bag into the trunk, surely crinkling a few important papers. Upon reaching the door of his expensive car, my roommate greets me with joy to see me. 

“How was class, Cherie?” 

Lafayette, my roommate, shoots a smile at me, his white teeth are almost blinding, but he always says I’m exaggerating. 

“Boring as always, but I’m still here, sadly” I say as I hop into the front seat of Lafayette’s car. He pouts in my direction 

“Ahh, c’mon, don’t be like that.” Once he acknowledges the buckling of my seatbelt, he begins to power up the car. “C’est la vie, Y/N” I roll my eyes, my hatred for him grows just a little more every time he says that. 

“Can we get McDonald’s?” I attempt to change the subject, earning a small chuckle from him. He prepares to drive off “You know I can't say no to you and your American junk food” 

And so we begin to drive off  

Lafayette and I indeed have a bit of history together. After I got mistakenly involved with Alexander and his clique, Lafayette was the next best (or worse) person to walk into my life. He’s sweet, charming, probably all the things Americans are not; the gentleman hails from France. Yet he’s so much more than that. 

Ever since I caught his eye at that obnoxious high school party, he and I hit the ground running. Disclosing the events which took place in his-

our bedroom won’t solve the problem, but the stubble on his jaw and the way he holds the steering wheel with one hand nearing my thigh reminds me of the unresolved sexual tension between the both of us. 

I’ve only been living in his apartment for a few months, an idea he proposed when I mentioned my dreadful rent. A nice view, nice coffee maker, and nice bedsheets were more than enough to convince me, but I know there’s more to that “nice” list that I shouldn’t disclose. 

Though I know his intentions were good, I’m sure he invited me into his abode to protect me from Alex. 

Since I began to band with Alex and his gang, Alexander’s been strict about getting me home on time. It wasn’t only because I was a helpless high school student, but also to prevent me from ratting him and his group out to the authorities. 

Upon joining Alex's posse, a strict curfew has been placed on me, only to ensure I stay safe at night, or perhaps to make sure I don’t betray them. 

Moving in with Lafayette made following this time limitation easier for me, especially since he volunteers to drive me home or takes a stand for me. If the unfortunate event of my arrival past my ‘bedtime’ timer occurs, Alexander ensures I pay the price.

Speaking of arrivals, Lafayette passes me a box of hot, salty fries and a smile spreads across my face. His eyes visibly soften as my entire demeanor changes.  

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best person ever?” I spilled my thoughts while stuffing my mouth with fries. He lightly chuckles, watching me. 

“Maybe a couple of times..” He prepares to drive off again “...too many times, actually.” he shot a wink at me. 

Blood didn’t have any time to rush to my cheeks before I could slap the side of his shoulder, causing him to whine in discomfort. I sigh before returning my focus to the steaming fries in front of me. The tension grows, and so does the silence between us. Eager to break the tension, I propose an idea. 

“Let’s go home?” we turn to each other at the same time 

“Oui.” 

---

I enter Professor Washington’s lecture hall and my attention is driven to the two curly-headed Virginians. I watch in secondhand embarrassment as Thomas Jefferson and his friend playfully argue in front of the entire class, seemingly a heated debate of the greatness of Mac and Cheese. One argues on behalf of the gooey pasta, while the other simultaneously retorts with a mix of “you’re so stupid” and “God help me”. 

Feeling a rush of confidence and suaveness, my brain urges my body to intervene in their conversation. Maybe it was to make new friends, or perhaps to stop the class from staring at their dumb dispute, but I swiftly walk over to them. The next few words to come out of my mouth fell into place oh-so-perfectly. 

“Hey, can I sit here?” 

Upon sitting in between the two Virginians, they introduce themselves. The calmer, self-collected man among the two introduced himself as James Madison, while the bolder, upbeat man introduced himself as no other than Thomas Jefferson. Both of them seemed happy that I interrupted and decided to reach out to them, maybe one was a tad more excited than the other. 

And ever since then, Professor Washington can’t seem to split up our trio. From childish jokes and a few inappropriate inferences, Thomas and James make great company. The idiotic smile that spreads across Thomas’s face whenever he’s capable of making James and I break our silence during class would become more annoying than Lafayette saying “C’est la vie” whenever I make a poor life decision. 

Nevertheless, Thomas and James dangerously remind me of Alexander and his goons. The abundant amount of self-praise and cocky remarks said by both Thomas and Alexander is almost astronomical. In the case of Thomas and Alexander’s meeting, I’m sure they’d be the best of friends. But likewise, I could also envision the two attempting to tear each other's heads off, the chaotic clashing of two powerful minds. 

They always know what to say and when to say it. I’ve never met anyone as clever as Thomas and James, and they’re even worse when they’re together.  

“‘ ‘s Adams here today? Washington told me to turn in my papers t’ him.” Thomas whispers as he eases into his chair, Washington’s booming voice seems to become background noise to us 

“Is he ever?” I reply, attempting not to giggle at my own response “I haven’t seen him since Washington initially introduced him to the class.” 

“Maybe he’s jus’ sick or somethin’. Kinda reminds me of you, James'' His head of curls turns to stare down James, in which James replies by rolling his eyes 

“He can stay home, he does the same amount of work there anyways.” James cleverly retorted. 

And that seemed to be our last straw before bursting out in laughter. Thomas’s body flung forward as he laughed his head off, James ducking his head to hide his glee behind his laptop, and I quickly slap a hand over my mouth to prevent anyone around us from drawing suspicion. But apparently, Washington wasn’t having our disguises. 

“Can the three of you even tell me what I just said?” Washington turns around from the board to scan the crowd, his eagle eyes find us quickly 

The silence was all we could emit, and soon enough, He turned back to his lesson. I sigh with relief; the last thing I need is to get kicked out of a class I don’t even pay for. 

…

...

“Washington sure got a shiny ass head. D’you think he uses shampoo and conditioner?” Whispered Thomas as he leans over to me 

And just like that,  we’re faced with the same struggle all over again.

—-

Lafayette adjusted the hot pan, erupting a few sizzles. The wall clock ticked, the hour arm froze pointing to the “11” written in roman numerals. Lafayette and I decided to agree on a home-cooked meal, and although it’s too late for an average dinner, yet too early to be defined as a midnight snack, I’m sure Lafayette’s cooking will satisfy me for the night. 

“Y/NN, would you prefer salt on your omelet? Or did you decide to be healthy tonight?” He said holding a salt shaker in the air to steal my focus from the swirling red liquid in my glass. 

My head lifts to meet his eyes. I tilt my head, the wine causing me to ponder for a little longer than I should’ve. He continues to stare at me, holding in a laugh, before I force myself to nod. 

“Yeah.. a little won’t hurt” I hear him chuckle at my drunken dialect, but I know the French man isn’t about to lecture me about English “Your wish is my command.” 

I watch as he conducts the kitchen perfectly. He knows where everything is, exactly what to add into the sizzling pan, maybe even the exact second to take the meal off the flame. 

“I thought you weren’t a fan of monarchy?” the sarcasm was evident in my tone “but I appreciate the submission” I shot him a playful wink, to which he responds with a pompous smirk

A few sips of wine later, I recognize notification that has been staring back at me for hours. 

1 Message from Thomas

A text from Thomas? And I’m barely seeing this now? I silently scold myself for giving into the wine before opening the message.

“Thomas: Hey this is Thomas from class, wanna come study with us at the library sometime?”

My eyes become glued to my phone. It was certainly necessary for me to reread Thomas’s text, I was unsure if the alcohol was beginning to make me see odd things, but I assured myself I was correct.

I could feel the blush spread across my face. Maybe it’s just the wine taking control, or maybe it’s the butterflies in my stomach forming every time I reread his message. A harmless invite, perhaps evoked from Thomas due to James stroking his ego, but I know James’ wouldn’t promote such a bold, straight-forward message. Though Thomas is known for his meticulous confidence and certainty, a message this simple could be notably deceiving. 

But a little socializing won’t damage my self-respect. “Be bold, Y/N” is what I used to tell myself at the beginning of the semester, and what do I have to lose? I begin to type my reply.

“Y/N: yeah I’m down :) just send a time and place and I’ll be on my way”

Sent.

 My introspection was soon interrupted by the screeching plate being slid in my direction by Lafayette, the steam circulating the meal 

“Y/N, Mangeons.” My head comes up from my phone, my eyes meet his eyes momentarily. 

“Thanks, Laf.” I reply before taking a fork from him and digging into the steaming meal ahead of me. Lafayette’s cooking never disappoints. Ever. 

My body couldn’t help but pick up my phone every few minutes to respond to Thomas’s messages, Though they were just the details of the hangout-offer he previously proposed, I felt enclosed in my little bubble while texting him. Those few moments of interaction with him somehow made my day better. I’m sure even Lafayette could see my radiating energy, but I’m not sure how he took it.

We’re technically not a couple; a few hookups and moving in together don't make us an official couple, right? 

“Merci, Laffy.” I watched as he visibly cringed at my poor attempt at french. “Let’s just stick to our mother tongues, angel.” He retorted. I laughed it off, yet inside his reply left a scratch on my pride. 

--- 

Another class of absolute foolery and childish inferences, and I can’t help but laugh as Thomas, James, and I exit the lecture hall. The New-York cold hits us harshly, but being about a month into this semester, students already know what to expect. 

It was indeed embarrassing, running to Lafayette’s car to remind him of your library study session. 

“Alright, I’ll pick you up before your curfew, okay?” He asked with one hand on the wheel. His faux-leather jacket contorting around his toned arms made it difficult not to remember the moments they shared around midnight. The imagery of their candle-lit room appearing in her head as he sat at the wheel stopped her from replying for a moment. 

“Y-Yeah sounds great. You’re the best, you know that?” She thanked him for sacrificing his time to make sure she arrives home on time. 

“You remind me all the time.” He sneaks in a small wink between his sentences “I’ll see you tonight, Cherie” 

Y/N smiled before turning around to prance over to her friends. Y/N heard the faint sounds of Lafayette driving off, sighing in relief

After briefly explaining my situation to the boys, we quickly head over to the library. 

A woman in a coral-pink blazer and pants set is waiting impatiently at a table she rented out just for us. “What in the world took you guys so long?” She pressured for an answer 

“C’mon Angie, that wasn’t even ten minutes.” Thomas rolled his eyes before removing his backpack and opening a chair for Y/N. Real smooth, Thomas, I can’t lie. He looked over to me, seeing stars in my eyes as I realize I’m standing next to the oldest Schuyler.

 “You’re-” She interrupted me with a smile, sticking out her hand to shake mine

“Angelica Schuyler. And you?” I swear her name sounds familiar. I’m sure I’ve heard it around but I just can't place it. I do see her on my social media feed from time to time, and I must admit, she looks even more heavenly in person. 

“Y/N L/N.” My hand meets hers in a firm handshake. 

“Nice to meet you.” 

—-

At first, I thought nothing of it. 

Though Lafayette’s text at 7:30 (on the dot) did push me out of my zone, I did appreciate his promise to me. 

Thomas on the other hand seemed disturbed by my sudden leave, but it’s not like he’d understand. Alexander would literally kill me if I were home late.

But Thomas and I would continue to hang out. His evening texts would slowly become a weekly routine. Whether it was a scary movie or an ice cream date for just the two of us, he always found a way to spend time with me. 

“Don’t tell me that mint chocolate chip is actually your favorite flavor, darlin’.” He adjusted his position on the park bench and raised an eyebrow, his gaze focused on the green ice cream atop my ice cream cone “You might make me regret takin’ you out tonight” he chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile 

“You know you love me” I jokingly retorted, scooping part of my ice cream with my tongue, and relaxing against the bench.

It’s very rare to get to relax like this. Not only am I a fully-fledged college student, but also one of Alexander’s goons. The weekends are merely just ‘weekdays: the sequel’, but add forbidden literature and alcohol to that equation.

I look back up to Thomas, seeing his disgusted face. “Wait.. are you actually against mint chocolate chip ice cream?” I cocked an eyebrow towards him

He shrugged before chuckling “I recall telling you of my unfortunate arguments while visiting England..” 

“..so what does mint chocolate chip ice cream have to do with your political upheavals in a foreign country?” 

He smirked in an ‘all knowing’ manner. “Well, Darlin, if you did your research—“

“—You’ve got to be kidding me—“I start to wonder why I even asked 

“—you’d learn that the monstrosity in your ice cream cone, mint chocolate chip, originated in England.” He completed his statement with triumph “Ever since my disagreements in England, I swore to despise such a concoction until the day I die.” 

I looked at him like he was crazy. “I can’t believe you did your research on English creations. You’re so dramatic sometimes” I respond 

“Hey, I wouldn’t be a Jefferson if I wasn’t.” He stared back to his cone, the mesmerizing ice cream almost reflecting himself back at him. 

We shared silence for a moment. Words were unnecessary when we were together. 

“I suppose..” Jefferson started “...I might be able to tolerate mint chocolate chip ice cream, but only for you, though.” He turned towards my direction 

My eyes soon met his. “Well, I’m honored to be your exemption, Jefferson.” I smile with triumph, recognizing my effect on him. 

He swiftly takes my hand, his skin feels burning compared to mine. Our eyes remain connected as he dips his head down to kiss the back of my hand. I attempt to hide the fact that my heart stopped beating for a moment, but the breath hitching in my throat wouldn’t help me at all. 

“Let’s drop the formalities, Darlin, you can call me Thomas now.” My hand remained between his. I try my best to keep my hand still, wanting to marinate in this moment forever. 

A new feeling courses through my body. Something unfamiliar. Perhaps it’s the charm of a Southern Gentleman. Maybe the feeling of being treated right for the first time, something I’ve never experienced from anyone.

What have I ever done to deserve this chivalrous kindness? 

‘What a gentleman’ I repeat to myself in my mind. What makes him so different from the others? 

From a simple kiss, I suddenly crave more.

More than the unresolved sexual tension between Lafayette and I. 

More than I was ever granted the opportunity to. 

Maybe ‘more’ is what I deserve. 

My mind bleeds with the thought of Lafayette, but Thomas seems like he has so much more to offer. What if I do deserve to be happy? I may not have earned it, but who gets to declare my right to happiness? I was once happy with Lafayette, but the times have changed

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas.

---

But no matter how much I enjoyed spending time with Jefferson himself, I was always the first one to leave. I had to. 

I remember the way his smile would fall at the sound of Lafayette’s car horn. 

The way his jaw tenses whenever my phone vibrates across the table 

Whenever Lafayette came to pick me up, I also can’t help but feel a part of my soul crack within me. 

“I’ll see you this weekend?” He kisses the back of my hand once more in an attempt to savor this moment, continuing to maintain eye contact.

“I’ll try, Thomas. Not sure if I’m busy.” I sigh with fatigue. “But I’ll let you know.” 

“Alright. Get home safe, darlin’” I hear him stand from the park bench as I wander to Lafayette’s car, his eyes following my figure. 

I hop into Lafayette’s car before taking one last glance in Thomas’s direction, watching as his figure begins to walk in the opposite direction that our car was heading. 

“Ahh, Y/N. Don’t tell me you’re cheating on me” his sarcastic tone wouldn’t pierce deep enough. 

I speak without thinking. “I do recall you claiming that you and I were never a couple, remember Laf?” My change in demeanor was certain to shut him up. And he did. 

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas. 

I remained turned away from Lafayette as we drove through the city. The memories built between Lafayette and I constantly falls like a house of cards, but I prefer to avoid the subject.

Lafayette felt otherwise, yet respected my choice. 

He was the first to speak.

“Alexander needs me for a transport this weekend.” He stated, “I’m not sure when I’ll get back, so it’s very important that you get back from whatever plans you have before your curfew.” He takes a glance over to me and briefly meets my eyes 

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N.”

Ah yes, the monthly literature transportation of Alexander’s gang. 

The Notorious Sons of Liberty. 

A popular group roaming the streets of New York. But instead ironically of selling drugs or performing homicide, they produce and sell illegal, banned literature and disperse them to the highest bidders. 

How else do you think I pay for college? 

Although gang violence isn’t really their thing, that doesn’t mean they’re not in possession of such weaponry and devices. I’ve never seen anyone take literature as seriously as they do.

They’re also known for their bold publicity stunts, which are indeed fun to watch from a nearby coffee shop. Watching Alexander, Lafayette, and some other friends, John and Herc, run from the authorities on a Sunday afternoon, accidentally laughing at the sight of John tripping over his own feet, Lafayette mouthing ‘help us out’ in my direction. Very entertaining. 

On the contrary, their security on me has become tighter and tighter. I know they worry for the gang’s reputation over my safety, but it feels nice to imagine having a battalion of book-worm gang members watching over you. 

“I know, I know. You guys can stop treating me like a kid” I attempt to contain a giggle to portray my seriousness. 

He takes a glance at me before returning his attention to the road. “You cannot say that until you have another way home other than me.” He sighed rather loudly 

“Be careful, or I might do just that, Lafayette.” 

---

I sipped on wine and ate cheese at Thomas’s place without a care in the world on a Saturday night. Of course, I had to accept Thomas’s offer, I never knew how to say no to him. 

Jefferson has sure been taking his sweet time to put a title on us. Now, I’m no philosopher when it comes to dating, but Ice cream at the park, fancy dinners, and wine and cheese sure sound romantic. 

My night was going well. All until the 7:30 alarm on my phone rang, and before I knew it, everything began to go downhill

[events of chapter 1]

And next thing I knew, the cold New York air slapped my face, following the harsh slam of the apartment door. 

As my adrenaline began to settle down, panic rushed through my body. 

Fuck. At this rate, I won’t be home until after my curfew. Although my immediate instinct was to sprint my way home, those thoughts were quickly followed by the idea of passing out within five minutes. My apartment isn’t too far, but being fueled by wine and cheese doesn’t sound like the best idea. 

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N” echoed throughout my head. 

I begin to walk down the street before whipping out my phone to contact an Uber. 

The small talk produced between my driver and I worked a bit to calm myself down, but that would all change the moment I walked through my apartment door. 

Once I turn back around from locking the door, I’m met with exactly what I didn’t want to see at this very moment. 

Lafayette stood staring at me, his lips pursed with anxiousness, recognizing my significantly late arrival. 

Hercules, another good friend I’ve met through the sons of liberty, stood beside Lafayette. His mouth hung open in shock as he also recognized my mistake. 

John, the group’s smallest yet mightiest, leaned against the wall, perhaps planning my fate right in front of me 

And none other than Alexander Hamilton himself, sipping scotch on my couch, similarly to how I was not too long ago at Thomas’s place. The glare on his face quickly reminded me that I was in big trouble. 

“Y/N, I thought I told you—“ Lafayette began but was quickly interrupted 

“You’re late.” He swirled his drink before standing up. The clock ticked, and the hour hand notably passed the 8:30 symbol. I was not getting out of this one. 

Although I feared for the following moments, I attempted to contain my emotions within myself. I kept my straight face for the time being. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. 

“I’m well aware.” That came out of my mouth  a little too harsh for my liking 

“May I remind you that being out past your curfew could severely damage our image.” 

I saw John look over to Alex from the corner of my eye. The air became thinner if that were even possible, and I refused to meet his eyes.

“And I do recall reminding you of your consequences.” He walked towards me and I felt my heart froze. “Having you out so late could raise some suspicions among our competitors, L/N.” 

I couldn’t find the right words and resort to nodding instead 

“I always fucking told you—“ he harshly slammed his drink onto the table beside him “—not to test the waters—” 

“—I-I know—“

“So why the fuck are you stumbling in here past your curfew?”

 At this very moment, I wondered if I had pulled the last straw. 

I couldn’t speak. God forbid I spat out the wrong words. Contained within my thoughts, I didn’t acknowledge Alexander closing the distance between us. 

“Ow!--” I watched as Alex shoved me to the wall, the moment playing in slow motion in my head. 

Lafayette’s throat grew dry “Hey, Alex, Calm dow-” 

He was interrupted by the sound of Alexander harshly slapping me across the face. My hands quickly went to soothe what felt like fire burning my cheek. 

“We do so much for you, Y/N.” Alex growled 

The sharp pain in my side grew, almost echoing throughout my body. I could feel my body giving up on itself. I mean, this wouldn’t be the first time Alex has acted like this. 

Occasionally, Alex would stop by Lafayette and I’s apartment just to ensure I was home before my curfew, and he wasn’t the most forgiving. 

--He owns an apartment key and has every single one of his gang member’s location tracked on his phone. Sometimes I wondered what was so special about us to have to keep all of us in check 24/7--

One time Hercules and I went shopping a little too late after sunset, part of me felt like a reckless teenager, probably because I was. I still remember Alexander’s face when I entered my own apartment, he looks identical every time. 

In an attempt to shelter me, my body curled into itself against the wall. I shrunk to the floor, feeling his shadow intensely stand above me. 

“Arghh!—“ the sound spilled out of me when I felt Alexander’s shin connect with my rib cage. 

My lungs felt punctured under the pressure.

My arms felt like they could give out any second.

Part of me had wished I’d stay at Thomas’s place tonight, even if it meant telling him the truth. 

What a predicament I’ve gotten myself into. 

I looked up, wondering if my torment was over until I was met with a —Crack— Alexander’s knee encountered my face. 

It was only a moment before I could hear the shuffling of the others’ shoes. I prayed they were coming to help me out.

Alexander lifted his glass of alcohol, previously forgotten, and hauled it towards me

Crash! 

The piercing shards of glass combining with the stinging alcohol were the last thing I needed on a Saturday night. I didn’t notice the tears falling from my eyes until now, and the way my heart felt like it was just on a rollercoaster. 

I kept my head low, watching blood drip down my face and onto the floor below me. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one to notice. 

“Alex! What the fuck?!” I heard Laurens yell

“Are you trying to kill her?!?” I recognized Lafayette’s scream

Before Alex was able to make another blow, Lauren and Lafayette were quick to hold him back, attempting to calm him down. 

Hercules swiftly knelt beside me, the guilt was obvious in his gaze. I hated the pity in each of their glances towards me. He attempted to wipe away the blood from my forehead with a paper towel. 

Alexander fought back against the two, trying his best to prove his point. There’s the Hamilton we all know, unwilling to stand down no matter the cost.

Hercules turned back to me, his words were ready to leave his mouth from the moment we reconnected eyes. 

“Y/N..” He pulled me up and shoved me out of my apartment door. “..Run.” I almost stumbled into a nearby pole, but I began running, if running in my condition was possible, back to Thomas’s place. 

—-

[events of chapter 1]

The next thing I knew, I woke up in Thomas’s bed beside him. I took a moment to soak in the feeling of his satin sheets. Part of me can’t recall the events before I passed out in front of Thomas’s apartment, or maybe my mind refuses to remember them. 

The sun hasn’t risen yet. 

I turn to my side and reach for my phone, wincing from the pressure applied to my rib cage. 

The bright light of my phone hitting my eyes felt like I was transported to another dimension. 

54 notifications: 

12 calls from Lafayette 🥐

24 texts from Lafayette 🥐

1 text from Alexander 💡

3 calls from Mariah 💋

14 texts from Mariah 💋

“oh fuck..” I sigh, wondering how things will play out. 

Out of curiosity, I open the message from Alexander. Perhaps it’s an apology? Maybe a reminder? 

Alexander 💡: I know where you are, Y/N. Don’t drag your friend into this. Because I can.

Where I am? I ask myself

My heart dropped, remembering that Alexander tracks my location 24/7. He knows where I am at this very second. 

By escaping to Thomas’s apartment, I’ve just dragged him into this mess I’ve made. If my worlds collide, it would all be because I ran to this exact apartment. 

Panic once again rushed through my body. 

I need to get out of here. I need to leave. 

I slip out from under the sheets and grab my belongings. Unprepared for what’s to come, I steal one of Thomas’s jackets from his cluttered desk chair. I’ll give it back eventually, I thought to myself. 

After I put on my shoes I take one last glance toward Thomas. 

He seems so peaceful when he’s asleep, tangled in his blanket, not to mention his name-brand Mac and cheese pajama pants. 

I’m sorry if I drag you into this, Thomas, you just wouldn’t understand.

Taglist <3: @kenmacrumbs @strayblades  @laic2299 @ohsoverykeri

[scrawnytreedemon]

Cid Highwind and/or Vincent V!

Oooohhh!!! Bringing in The Boys? SNkkkkk, I’d expect nothing less of you, Enide <3 I’m not that well-versed in them as I’d like, buT!!! here’s trying!!!! Love a good challenge :)) 

Cid:

First impression: Grumpy tea DILF that swears his ass off. For some reason I keep forgetting Cid is a lancer and not a gunman because??? Usually it’s the gunmen that get depicted all vulgar and rugged, with stubble and cigarettes.

Impression now: Grumpy tea DILF that swears his ass off. Lmao, nothing much has changed, but there’s certainly a free-spiritedness to him; makes sense, the man is a pilot and would’ve been(got to be?) an astronaut. He’s very tough-love in a way that both meshes and manages to be distinct from Barret’s flavour-- I think they’d be good bros :) One thing that sours his character a bit for me is how he verbally abuses Shera :( I’d normally chalk it up to his usual tough-love, but with the major plotpoint of him blaming her for his crushed dreams and how she essentially fulfills the role of an abused wife... I, I’m not so sure. Overall, I like Cid, but it’s a shame.

Favorite moment: Ohh!!! I have a few, such as the way he joins the party, him calling Vinny back to their room, his return to the final fight-- But my favourite has to be on the Materia train hijacking sequence and the dialogue that follows if you pick Yuffie and Vincent as your party members. The dialogue is downright hilarious and you really get the sense that they’ve gotten to know each other behind the scenes(love that about FFVII <3) :)))

Idea for a story: To STEAL an idea from my bud @alunchboxofsushifries she had while we were whinging about DoC, but having the game’s storyline entirely revamped so that it’s Vincent, Cid and Yuffie doing it all together. We don’t know the finer details(and DoC being DoC quite frankly I’m scared of knowing just w h a t might we be changing), but I love the idea alot!!!!! Again, this is my friend Vee’s idea, so major credit to them!!!!

Unpopular opinion: Lmao I don’t think I have enough opinions on him to really have an unpopular one??? Dont get me wrong-- Love the man to bits, however as of yet my focus has been all over the other party members(Barret, Nanaki, ect.) and so I’m not as well-versed in what is the common fanon of this man-- Most I could say is I wished they handled his resentment towards Shera better :(

Favorite relationship: I think him and Vince are such a fun dynamic-- I lean heavily platonic, but I’m sure you know I’m cool with a more romantic connotation. Vince calling him chief and being this affectionately dry almost-sidekick to Cid is the absolute best and its what made me love the train sequence along with Yuffie calling him old man lmaooo-- Adding onto that, I think him and Yuffie could have a snarky grumpy old dad and snide-teenager dynamic where he gives her lectures and she goes “yeah okay, paps”.

Favorite headcanon: Sadly I don’t have really any(I am NOT giving you good food today, am I, Enide? :( ), but I personally think that he’s got the only functioning airship on the Planet. I headcanon Gaia to be roughly the size of our moon, so large enough to hold a fair amount of people but also small so everything’s just a stone’s throw away-- Hell, they only have one major ocean! How wild is that???

Now!!!!! Onto Vince :))))) I have alot more to say(hopefully lmaooo)

First impression: Cool edgy gunman who stands in a corner and mumbles huskily. Drinks only black coffee, if he even drinks at all. Desperately needs a hairbrush.

Impression now: This man is??? SO awkward I???? I lOVE HIM???? He’s also got such a sweetness in my eyes and it’shdfjkjhkjhjg!!!! Like mAN, he’s an outwardly chill if slightly skittish older friend who keeps to the sidelines most of the times but when he does chip in it’s a l w a y s good and very Wise. The man is a bit of a sod, though, sometimes to the point of debilitating self-pity. First thing this guy did was tell you to fuck off and go back to sleep. He rags on himself heavily for his sins and I want to!!! Give the poor fucker a hug because lord knows he hasn’t had one in 27~ years :((( All around, swell guy, WOULD love to have a chill garden-bonfire chat with him :) Still needs a hairbrush, lmao. Also g o l d - p l a t e d  c l o w n s h o e s .

Favorite moment: I must, again, bring up the train scene for reasons mentioned in Cid’s section-- But to get onto another that caught my eye, was when he returned, and Cloud was surprised, having got the feeling that Vince was cold an detached. It’s both sweet, and sad. Vince cares deeply about all of this, about all of them, but because he’s a bit of a poker-faced recluse he doesn’t express it very much. I wonder how he felt, hearing that.

Idea for a story: OF COURSE, once again, Vee’s DoC rewrite(even more so because Vince is the main character), but I think a Seph adoption!AU, whether pre or postgame where in the former he takes Seph in and they’re constantly on the run together, constantly awaiting Shinra’s wolves like stalked deer, or the latter where there’s a tender, redemptive atmosphere but also a psychological, almost-horror element where he loves his Lucrecia’s son so much but also has to serve as his warden lest he be unleashed once more.

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think he’s Sephiroth’s biological father, and, with the nigh-omnipresence of this theory, I’ll be honest and say I find it a little grating? I think it weakens Hojo’s character and makes Vince this Real Fix-It Parent Who’d Never Hurt You :) -- And I understand the appeal, of that, but honest to God it really feels like most of this comes down to Hojo Stinky Baf adn UGLIIII!!! Vimce Good adn Sweete adn Pwetty :333 Facetiousness aside, I can appreciate this being done well, as with anything! Just wish it wasn’t taken as almost canon in fandom spaces :(

Favorite relationship: The man is SO fun to platonically pair up with everyone it’s INSANE, though I don’t think I have a favourite ship??? Like yeah, sure him and Lucrecia had a thing once, but that whole ordeal was more of a human rights crisis and just generally a painful, tragic mess. I don’t think Vincent could really love like that again, not for many years. He aches, even in places he forgets aren’t meant to ache. Especially those. I think he gives everyone a little love in the help he hands out. Vincent’s heart is big and broken, and he fears that if he fills it too much, it’ll burst, and he’ll be left a beast. He needs to learn that he is worthy, but that is a task he must undertake.

Favorite headcanon: Can’t really think of any, as despite his mysterious nature, Vince doesn’t leave too many loose threads in areas of My ConcernTM-- Though if I’m gonna make one up, him, Barret and Cid get together on Saturday nights to hang out around a fire with some beers and have some good Dad Talks-- Peak DILF solidarity, tbh. 

But yeah!!!! Took awhile to write out, hopefully these are sufficient enough for you, O’ Valenwind Extraordinaire beloved! Again, as always, feel free to tack on any further thoughts of your own! Love a good discussion <3 Makes this little corner of the fandom feel warmer.

[ladylillianrose]

Episode 13 Thoughts/Reactions While Watching

Spoilers under the cut

Does it suck that Selin got dumped on her wedding day? Yes it does. But I'm still proud of Ferit for deciding he is worth someone who loves only him.

"Secret handcuffs between us" omg I love it! 🤣🤣🥰🥰⛓

"To be honest I cannot part from you" *swoon*😍😍

"Sometimes love isn't enough," Eda girl what are you saying? Don't be thinking like that!

I love that he doesn't want to hide their relationship from everyone. He wants to proudly show the world that he is in love with an amazing, beautiful, talented and intelligent woman.

"Let it burn, chaos is good, it will make us stronger." This is so not the same Serkan from the beginning! She has changed him so so much and I love it!

But be wary of the chaos you so willingly embrace Serkan!

Ahhh thank goodness the girls know now! And they're all so happy for her!!!

Also Melo even knowing that Sirius missing her was just Serkan's excuse is adorable and I want her to tease him about that at some point lol!

Makes me miss my girlfriends!!😭😭🥰🥰

Eda! Just tell her!!!

I love that we are seeing more of Serkan spending time in his study in casual clothes. It's a more intimate look at home, surrounded by all his space stuff.

I understand Selin wanting to start a new life and get rid if her shares, but she should have spoken to Alptekin about it, sold him and Serkan the shares. Instead she sold it to a stranger.😡😡

The Head and Shoulders spots never cease to make me giggle. 🧴🚿

Glad that Aydan is realizing Eda's worth. Knowing she intentionally treated her poorly and Eda rose above it.

Ooo Serkan not pulling his punches! He is not wrong that this is what hes been saying for months. And ouch at the bringing up his brother and the past when he was sent off. These are clearly still raw subjects and memories for him.😢😢

Oofff I feel for Aydan on that moment. So frustrated with herself that even as Alpyekin is being taken to the hospital she cant leave to go with him.😢😢

The fact that Eda can tell something is wrong from just a few words.❤❤😢😢

Also Alptekin's heart problem is hitting close to home (my dad just had 4 stints put in his heart last month, one artery was 99% blocked and another was 98% blocked, his was from genetics not diet/exercise). So I really feel for Serkan dealing with everythimg and still feeling helpless/unable to do anything.😢😢😢❤❤❤

Have I mentioned how much I love Leyla? I love that she hugged him,and even though he didn't return the hug, you know that Serkan was touched.🥰🥰🥰🥰

Gossip lines all through the office! That was quick!

Serkan asking for help from them and Leyla and Erdem being shocked lmao 🤣🤣

Oh shit I forgot that Ferit was the one to set up the whole thing with Efe. So of course he would be there/around.

I'm still on Ferit's side having broken things off. I wish he had done it earlier, even minutes before the wedding would have been better than when they were all watching. But it took him until that moment to realize what he didnt want.

Lmao Efe would drive a fancy flashy red car. And of course be the opposite style boss of Serkan. 🚘

Oh Melo, maybe you can have him, keep him away from Eda and Serkan.

Aydan making Seyfi dig up all the info on Eda. And Seyfi being all team Eda

Oooo 6 months is a long time to put up with Efe and Ferit. Poor Serkan!

Lmao Melo is on a roll today! Calling Erdem out on his dating app lies to Fifi, and telling Leyla to back off the assistant position cause its hers lol!

Shit I didnt realize Ferit's shares came directly from Alptekin/Serkan's. Damn that splits it into two teams there.

"I cant breathe here without you." And "I'll be the air for you whenever you want" ugh these two romantics.😍😍😍😍

I love that Ayfer knows enough about Aydan to check on her. And that Aydan was touched by her being the only one to do so. They'll be friends that snipe at each other by the end I'm sure.

But OMG I'm dying at Aydan spilling the beans lmfao! The two of them being hysterical together is hilarious. 🤣🤣🤣

Oooo Eda you are in so much trouble with Ayfer!

Serkan giving Eda the chance to work with Efe cause he knows that she is an admirer of his work as well as he knows how talented Eda is. That love and trust!!!

Seyfi and his love for Eda and Edser!

Also Aydans reaction to the handcuffs, priceless. 🤯🤯

Awww yay Ferit and Ceren! They both deserve someone who loves them!!

Yaass Jealous Serkan reappears! Serkan you are not subtle, Efe definitely knows something is going on  between you and Eda!🤣🤣😍😍

I love that not only was Serkan willing to talk, but then made her promise that they still would since the meeting interrupted them.

Aydan is going to smother Alptekin with her caring and attention!

A sweet romantic lunch for two in the office, Serkan you romantic robot! 🤖❤

And saying the office will find out soon enough anyway!!

And he ordered her food she loves, and that he won't eat!🥰

Omg Eda feeding him fries lmao! Fries are impossible to resist Serkan! 🍟❤

Lmfao all the doors open! He's keeping an eye on Efe and Eda!

Serkan is just so romantic with his "how are you real?" And wanting to just runaway and have it be only the two of them, three if you count Sirius! (My romantic husband has often suggested running away just us two, and the cat of course. It is always a tempting offer).

Serkan telling his parents is gold. He is so matter of fact and straight forward. Saying he wants things to happen fast.

"A womans dreams should not be limited to a man." Ayfer isnt wrong, but in Eda and Serkan's case, Serkan has been supportive of her dreams every step of the way!

Ooo Aydan and Ayfer plotting together lmao that's just trouble there. Eda and Serkan are too stubborn to be swayed by your ploys!

Lmao at Serkan saying "Even the cats run away!" With the cats loudly meowing.😹😹😹

His don't leave me grip on her hand lol. Good lord Ayfer that list lmao. He would have been doing some of it anyway just by being around. But him confirming that he will do whatever she wants him to, for Eda *swoon*❤❤

The comment about it being obvious that she's Eda's aunt lol

Poor Serkan will never get a kiss or hug with Ayfer blocking him! Ayfer you are making all of us suffer!!

Shaking Eda's hand and saying goodbye to the cats, priceless 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Awwww asking Eda to send photos of herself to him because he doesnt have them on his phone.🥰🥰🥰

"Then you are only mine," damn Serkan! 🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵🥵

Ahh the old "here are all these ridiculous events that I will make you do, to prove that you couldnt hack it as a society wife," ploy.

Serkan will likely put his foot down on some of Aydan's demands, just as Eda will with some of Ayfer's demands.

Oh Erdem let's see how this plays out.

Efe I dont trust you, and Ferit stop giving him all the inside info!!

Serkan walking in holding Eda's hand! 🤖❤

Lmfao at Piril calling Engin and yelling at his voicemail that even Robot Serkan comes in holding his love's hand. I'm dying!!

Leyla telling Serkan she still wants to work for him. He may not openly demonstrate affection for his employees but he takes care of them where it counts (I've never had a boss care about me or my family like that). ❤❤❤

He's just more introverted and quiet in how he shows affection (which is what makes his love with Eda so important and different. He's going outside his comfort zone for her!)

That's 2 Leyla hugging Serkan moments!!!!🥰🥰

Piril isnt wrong about needing to do all or nothing with the project. She's blunt of course but it's the truth.

I dont think Efe is lying when he talks about Eda's talent,  but he is laying it on a bit thick. 🙄🙄

Oh Eda you are letting everyone elses talk get to you! Dont listen to them! You know Serkan supports and loves you!!

Erdem you are in for it now with Fifi!

Damn those curtains!! Also it appears to be very very windy there lmao 🌬

Why is Engin in the police station lol! (I know that Anil wasn't feeling well so they had to come up with an excuse, but the police Station really?)🤣🤣

Omg Serkan you're going to make me and Eda cry! You got a house and an office?! And talking about eating her favorite ice cream and going to the libraries (be still my heart, that's how you get me too,ice cream and libraries!).😍😍😍😍😍😍

"I cannot live without you" *swoons* 😍😍

Ummm why do I suspect that Efe is working for Eda's Grandmother? Because that didnt sound like an "okay team, come on over" call. That was a "the pieces are in place, we await your move" phone call. Eda may not want revenge,  but Grandma probably does. 🔪🔪♟♟

Oh God I cant handle Serkan crying! 😭😭😭😭

And he has to tell Eda, he cant keep this from her, and God it's tearing him up knowing that it's his family's fault her parents died.😢😢😢

[knightmathias]

task 01: spring play audition ( macbeth ) !

notes: don’t give him macbeth thank u i want him to go batshit LMAO im kidding but rlly dont give him macbeth

i also couldn’t figure out how to put this in organically but mathias def knows that a LOT of the others are gunning for macbeth too!!! but he’s never been worried bc he knows for sure he’s always going to get the lead roles so he never really thinks about anyone else, i think it’ll be great for him to not only NOT get macbeth but not even a really big role full stop ? i don’t think it makes sense for heidi to give him a SMALL role maybe bc he IS technically really fuckin good but i also dont think heidi think it’s Best to give him a huge role anyway like she can see the Laziness in him and “acting for the wrong reasons” / not improving as an actor bc he’s never been in the spot to need to!!!!!!

Calling it a problem sounded so serious, you think derisively. Your hands are brushing over the small packet of coke you’ve placed on the desk, eyebrows furrowed. You’ve got ten minutes until your audition, and whilst Heidi doesn’t seem to be the type of person to appreciate tardiness, you’re not used to bending yourself to follow the rules. So you’ll be late. Big deal.

Calling it a problem, you continue thinking, getting your thoughts back on track. Calling it a problem was silly. An addiction would come in the form of your sister Ana, who could never stop herself. And even then, she’s fine. High every time you see her these days, maybe, but she’s fine -- Bad things don’t happen to the Knights. Only good things. Only good things.

Still, you sweep the bag into your desk drawer instead, out of sight. You don’t need it right now, the temptation was just a little too much when you have the bag in front of you; you’re certainly not nervous about this audition at all. Sure, you haven’t really worked on practising much -- but you never do, right? And sure, you’ve been more distracted as of late -- falling in and out of [the statue’s] bed, preoccupied by Orson’s death. But you either have the star quality or you don’t, it’s what your parents have always taught you. Working hard is good, but it’s for the ones that don’t have it, who want what you have. You’ve run through your lines a few times, you know it’s going to be good.

( And sure, you’ve taken to drinking more and smoking more and done a few more lines lately than would be considered smart. But you don’t talk about that. You don’t even think about that. What’s too much? What’s too far? When is enough enough when you’ve been like this, been around this, your whole life? It’s the glamourous life of theatre, baby, it’s just show biz. )

You take your phone out of your pocket to check the time. 4 minutes. Plenty of time then.

There’s a glass filled halfway of vodka and Coke on your bed stand, not quite finished from the night before. You pick it up and down it, even though it’s gone flat by now. The alcohol to take the edge off, but you won’t admit there’s an edge to you anyway. Liquid luck instead, maybe, but when have you ever needed luck? For the enjoyment, then, is what you reason. Why waste perfectly good alcohol?

By the time you arrive, Heidi’s voice cuts to you, unimpressed. “You’re twelve minutes late.”

“Had to make sure my hair was pretty,” you say charmingly, the cheek usually endearing to others. Orson would’ve loved your response, would’ve grinned and joked back, would’ve said something about the importance of appearance on stage. Orson would’ve ---

But it’s not Orson. It’s Heidi, and she doesn’t seem to think you’re being funny at all. 

“I think it’s best if you just start, since you’re running late.”

But you’ve already made your way onto the stage.

"Mathias Knight,” you say, stage voice on. Your teeth glint white in the light as you flash a professional smile, but Heidi doesn’t seem to return it. “I’m auditioning for the role of Macbeth. I’ve chosen to do Macbeth’s speech from Act 2 Scene 1 -- Enjoy.”

There’s no surprise on Heidi’s face at your announcement of choice, but you don’t let it deter you. Of course it’s predictable, to go for Macbeth and to do this scene, but does it matter what you audition with, when your talent will showcase either way? You want Macbeth and you’re going to get it, you always do. There was no point putting in more work than its worth, when performing Macbeth’s most famous soliloquy did the same job.

Heidi nods, so you take a deep breath and settle into your role effortlessly. You’ve heard the others talk about needing to have an emotional connection to the role they’re playing, and you’ve never quite understood it -- you’ve played characters you could hardly even fathom being similar to, but you’ve played them excellently nonetheless. Acting, for you, is not about the emotion, or the personal, or the leaving of your body behind. It’s about the skill and the technique and the way you perform it -- because that’s what it is, isn’t it? It’s a performance. It’s a performance and you’re conscious of that fact every moment you are on that stage, your own kingdom. You connect with the characters because you need to, but it’s always been on that surface level, knowing you are playing them. You are not Macbeth. That much is clear. But you’re a damn good actor.

“Is this a dagger which I see before me, / The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee...”

You’ve never known fear, or delusion, like Macbeth in this scene -- but that’s never been why you’re so good. You can push passion and emotion out of your voice so well that no one could ever see the difference, you can bend and contort your face in the same anguish and people will believe it. What is a tragedy to someone who’s never experienced the bad? It’s just: tragedy. It’s a word. It means nothing.

( Tragedy: a play dealing with tragic events and having an unhappy ending, especially one concerning the downfall of the main character. )

( Of course you’re the main character, you’re always the main character. There’s nothing forgettable about the way you hold yourself, the way you speak, the way you move. The downfall of the main character. But you’ve not done anything wrong, have you? You didn’t murder Orson. What’s the worse crime you’ve committed? A few stolen grams of coke? Petty thievery, small crime -- who is hurting from your lack of consequences? No one. You were born indestructible. You’re pretty sure you’re going to die that way too. )

( An unhappy ending. Darling, your story is hardly far from over yet. )

When you finish the soliloquy, that powerful feeling that settles in your bones every time you perform, you half-expect an applause. You were objectively good and there’s no other way that that could be twisted. Instead, you look out and only meet Heidi’s eyes, facial expression unreadable. For a moment, you’d forgotten, waiting for Orson to tell you how brilliant you were. 

But Orson wasn’t here. Isn’t it funny it only hits you in the gut every time you want something from him? His approval felt like an applause from an adoring crowd. His approval confirmed everything you’ve ever known about yourself, and you didn’t realise you craved it so badly until you were faced with the absence of it.

Several beats of silence. You’re waiting for her to say something, but when she doesn’t, you say, “So?”

Finally, Heidi shrugs. “It was an impressive performance. Truthfully, one of the best I’ve seen today.”

At that, you square your shoulders, basking in the compliment. What’s the best part of acting for you? You’ve heard others say things like slipping out of their own body and mind, into someone else’s. No, for you, you bleed yourself out on stage for this: the roaring approval.

But Heidi isn’t done talking. She adds, “I just don’t know if it’s enough.”

You blink. “Pardon me, but what?”

“What do you think about when you’re acting on stage, Mathias?”

The question takes you by surprise. “I think -- I think about the role I’m playing.”

Heidi shakes her head. “The thing is -- I just don’t think you do. I think you’re thinking about the praise you’ll get.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” You don’t have a bad temper, you’ve never been forced to. But irritation ignites within you, an uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling. 

She considers you for a moment, and you’ve never felt self-conscious in your life, least of all on a stage. She considers you for a moment, and you feel suddenly very naked, like she’s looking at something deep within you and she’s not liking what she sees.

“Thank you for your time, Mathias,” she says abruptly.

“No,” falls out of your mouth first, because you’re not used to being dismissed, not used to failing. She said it was one of the best performances she’s seen today, but suddenly it doesn’t feel enough. 

Her eyebrows raise.

“You said it yourself that I’m good,” you say hurriedly. “I’m the best, and you know it. You can dislike me all you like --”

“Mathias, I don’t dislike you --”

“But I know I’m good,” you continue, as if uninterrupted. “When I’m on that stage, it doesn’t matter who likes me as Mathias and who doesn’t; all that matters is that the audience does. I’ve been playing the lead my whole life for a reason, and they’ll all call it arrogance, but there’s nothing wrong in knowing that I’m good. That I’m the best. Who cares if I’m connecting emotionally to the characters? I’m one of the best actors on this program and it’s for a reason, and I’m sorry it’s not the reason you want it to be, but talent is a reason in itself. That’s what Orson told me. Orson said I have what it takes. Orson said I was going to do big things. Orson said --”

“Mathias,” Heidi cuts off neatly, and there’s something in her voice that you can’t place. Pity, maybe? But you’ve never been pitied before. What is there to pity in you? You’re the star. You’re always the fucking star. “I’m not Orson.”

The sentence guts you in a way it shouldn’t, and you blink at the aftermath of your outburst. 

“Thank you for your time, Mathias,” she says again, firmer. 

This time, you move off the stage, towards the door. The only thing you can think about is how badly you need a drink.

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

[ladybugsfanfics]

So, i have an story to share with you, and i wish it could be am ask for a fic with Tom, but its a bit long, so i'll send it in peaces, if you dont mind... (1/6)

During the period that I housed my childhood BFF in my apartment (she found out she was actually a trans man and was thrown out from her parents house) I discovered skinny male jeans, which are the same size as female jeans, but more comfortable + ACTUAL POCKETS! I've been using them ever since, that's been about five years ago. (2/6)

From then on, my friend made his peace with his family and went back to his parents' house, and I met this really cool, smart and funny guy, we started dating and moved in together, and we got engaged last year. He's much taller than me (I'm 4'2 and he's 6'3) and he's very distracted. And that resulted in the following story: (3/6)  

From the very first month we started living together we had to do the housework, and he was in charge of doing the laundry. So he, without paying attention to what he was doing, confused my jeans with his and started storing my jeans in his drawer, completely ignoring the obvious size difference between my pants and his! I started to get very angry, because almost all my pants had disappeared for no reason, and among them some of my favorites, until one day ... (4/6)

I heard him calling me from our room, desperate. I ran desperately into the bedroom and found him lying on the bed on his back, swinging his legs and wearing MY pants, but down to his knee (he put on the pants, found it odd that they weren't fitting in him, and kept trying to put it on. He got trapped in the pants, lost his balance and fell into bed in that ridiculous position). Then he looked me in the eye and said with a straight face "I think I found your jeans". (5/6)

Needless to say, we lmao for about half an hour until I could hold back the laugh long enough to tell why I wear male jeans. After that day a) I found out he was the man of my life, and b) I never let him near the laundry again. And, well, this is the story of when my fiancee stole my jeans and i laughed the hardest of my life (6/6)

Story time! Fun, you can send in a fic with Tom, too, if you’d like.

This story is pretty good. I love it. Also where do i get these pants? I need pockets. Just today I was annoyed at the damned pockets. I’ll check the next time im looking for pants, thanks for the tips.

I love height differences and this one is so huge, the picture in my head is super cute. congrats on the engament

again, thanks for sending this in, it made me smile so much! ^_^

have a laughing Tom in return: (gosh that smile)

[thegeminisage]

alright im about to watch 5.03 of merlin for the 2nd time ever

because if i dont do it now i may NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE

but first i wanna get out of the way that i thought merlin convincing arthur to keep the ban on magic in 5.05 because he was trying to thwart ~*~destiny~*~ or whatever is the laziest writing ever, it’s unsatisfying for the audience, it renders the rest of the last season utterly pointless, it’s unfair to merlin and arthur, and the tonal shift of the show from farting trolls in season 2 to full greek tragedy in season 5 was completely unwarranted and i feel TRICKED as a human person because i expected the end to be bittersweet and make me sad, not table-flipping angry, and i do not at all have high hopes for the finale

but i can ignore something having a “bad last five minutes” i did it for life is strange and final fantasy 13-2 i will do it for merlin but honestly 

speaking on 5.03, after it was over the first time i was like “i can never write my fanfic now because nothing i ever do will be as good as that” but i’m really relieved in that way that that was apparently the last good episode of merlin because now i can continue my work in peace and maybe hopefully even actually finish it

okay commence the liveblog:

love that arthur and merlin are down to just jump off their horses whenever random women start screaming in the distance. season 5 could have been so good, they’re so much more grown up and in sync with one another, i absolutely LOVE their #vibe

it was interesting to me also that arthur DEMANDED a fair trial for this woman despite her being accused of sorcery. god, he was SO CLOSE?? that hatred of magic just can’t really take root in him especially with uther gone...arthur may be an asshole in the early seasons, and he may be quick to anger and quick to lash out in that anger, but it’s just not in him to be cruel, especially needlessly

EVEN THIS LADY IS LIKE “u showed kindness and compassion” arthur is a Good Boy deep down he is he IS he didn’t care a bit about that horn she gave him but still politely said it was beautiful

although lmao the way his face changed when she said it was magic...that’s the STUFF

lowkey losing it at athony head in the credits. i was looking to see if he’d be in the s5 ones since he’s dead and didn’t see him in 5.01 or 5.02 so when i DID see him in 5.03 i was like haha no way did they pay to put him in here i guess i just missed him the first couple of times BUT I WAS WRONG

like, in buffy, they spend an entire episode trying to decide whether or not to necromance their mom or whatever and she doesnt actually APPEAR IN THE EP they never SEE her i thought this would be an episode ABOUT uther i didn’t think uther would be IN it

love that from the get-go arthur’s face screams “i am thinking about making a terrible mistake” and merlin’s face is like “he is thinking about making a terrible mistake”

i’m quite proud of merlin in s5 actually. bad writing aside he uses multiple braincells many times per episode. it’s a vast improvement. same energy as clary from shadowhunters right down to getting shafted in his final season

ive said it before and ill say it again gwen looks SOOO GOOOOD as queen

if this is the anniversary of uther’s death then (if you go by 1 season = 1 year) arthur just turned 30...it’s been nine years and change since merlin met him, and by the end of season 5 it will have been an entire decade

in an otherwise increddibly heavy episode arthur panicking and throwing all the apples out of the bowl so he could cover the horn with it is absolutely priceless. season 5 if nothing else has really hammered home for me what a TERRIBLE liar arthur is - merlin got good at it fast out of necessity but arthur can’t hold a poker face to save his LIFE. “leave it.” “why??” “because i’m telling you to and i’m the king of camelot” buddy......

we were ROBBED. if there had ever been a day where arthur came to accept merlin’s magic but still had to help merlin hide it there could have been an entire episode of arthur nearly blowing merlin’s cover because he’s a nervous nelly and at the end he goes “i cant believe you have had to do this 24/7 for YEARS without a single friend to help you” and merlin goes “well now i have you” anyway.

i love also that repeatedly when arthur goes to do something scary by himself he also brings merlin. they LITERALLY are two halves of a whole

“you’re threatening me with a spoon??” i can’t tell you about the unfortunate fanfics i have seen involving The Spoon. i shall also not mention the ones involving The Glove. we will not speak of it

I CANNOT BELIEVE STONEHENGE IS IIN MERLIN. i got so agitated i did not pay one bit of attention to the conversation following its reveal and me and cathy and had to rewind so i could listen properly

my hate-on for stonehenge goes thusly: stonehenge apocalypse, starring misha collins, is @callowyn‘s favorite movie. i have seen it 45 times. i hate it nearly as much as she loves it. it’s an age-old battle

merlin is so intense when he looks for signs in arthur that he DOESN’T totally hate magic...arthur using magic to see his dad again is one of those signs. he’s willing to turn to it in desperation - maybe he’d be willing in less desperate times too

“my father was taken from me before his time” i mean...he was practically in a coma. so like. he wasn’t

love that when arthur mentions merlins dad ONCE he immediately looks like he’s about to cry. mood. i also want to cry every time i think about merlins dad

up until the moment i laid eyes on uther i was SURE they werent actually gonna do it. i came into this thinking it was a FLASHBACK EP

for the record (and believe me i NEVER thought i’d say this) even though i waited and waited for his demise and cheered when he was gona for good...i really missed uther in season 4. at least with uther you know what you’re getting. agravaine (his replacement as “evil guy who keeps us from being able to solve our problems too easily”) was a slimy cowardly CREEP. and in season 5 i WISH things were as simple as “work around uther’s pigheaded unreasonableness”

for a hot second i really thought uther and arthur would have a nice conversation where they reconciled or said something heartwarming. i was worried about an uther redemption arc - this guy is responsible for the genocide of magic users, he doesn’t deserve redemption - but this show said NOT TODAY and they said it QUICK

WE

ARE

SO

BLESSED

i have A LOT of issues with season 5 but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS WAS DADDY ISSUES 2.0 BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD

repressed trauma returns: harder better faster stronger!! that’s the STUFF

was i not just speaking the other day on my fanfic ask meme about how i love emotionally intense stuff? this is IT babey

uther’s such a bad father! he’s with his only child again for the last time in ever and all he does is tear him a new one! this is why arthur’s such a fucked-up human being (morgana too) 

i’m THRILLED we got to revisit this. his eyes get bigger and bigger and he starts fucking stammering and by the time uther’s done calling him weak and a failure he looks ready to CRY. i was HOLLERING. i still couldnt believe uther was even HERE and not only is he HERE he’s a WRECKING BALL

“this CAN’T be the last time i’ll ever see you” oh buddy you’re gonna wish it was

and he looks back, as he leaves. of COURSE he does. just like lot’s wife. so it goes.

you know how at the end of every supernatural episode sam and dean debrief and talk about their feelings in the car? for merlin and arthur it’s almost always done around a campfire at night - sometimes in arthur’s chambers or other places, but usually out here in the wilderness where it’s just the two of them. i’m...really going to miss it, when it’s gone.

“my father doesn’t approve of the way i’ve chosen to rule his kingdom” “you mean YOUR kingdom”

you know i don’t think i really got...like, fundamentally, on a deep level...that merlin fucking HATES uther

i’ve seen him save uther’s miserable life so many fucking times that i thought for merlin it was kind of the way it was with gwen - he feels nothing for him, but he looks after him for arthur’s sake (or as i came to understand later because he’s professor x about the whole thing)

but the way his expression got SO UGLY when arthur revealed that uther just shit-talked him the entire time...holy fuck

between that & some other stuff that happens later it really paints a clearer picture of like...uther’s dead so merlin doesn't have to hold back anymore and he FUCKING HATES HIM?? like obviously he SHOULD bu i just never SAW it before this. merlin LOATHES him. it’s INCREDIBLE to witness when he bore it so silently for so long. maybe even merlin didn’t realize just how much he hated him until now

and not to get too real here but if youve ever been friends with someone who had an abusive/toxic parent or was in an abusive/toxic relationship and you watch them feeling like shit after and they start making excuses for that asshole like “oh yeah he’s right about x” and you just want to find this horrible person and THROTTLE THEM that emotion is like ALL OVER merlin’s face rn. i didn’t actually seriously "”ship”” merlin and arthur until late season 4/early season 5 (i didnt like dislike it i just wasnt actively bothered by a lack of it) and what changed was this vibe. merlin wants to kill uther all over again just because he made arthur feel this way. he’s so fuckijng PROTECTIVE

and he still almost manages to drag a smile out of him via roasting, god bless these 2

ok so i didnt believe this show would actually DO THAT re: putting uther himself in this ep but i was doubly shocked by the fact that he HITCHED A RIDE AND GOT OUT

me shrieking during this entire poltergeist sequence: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT’S REALLY HIM?? HOLY FUCK HE IS LITERALLY HAUNTING ARTHUR I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE DOING THIS I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE GIVING US THIS etc etc etc

actually most of that was probably muffled nonsense because i was yelling with both hands over my mouth

percival’s the realest motherfucker on this whole show. dude survives a murder attempt in which he got an AXE lobbed at him by the fucking GHOST of a power-mad genocidal king and he’s like: yeah idk i guess it fell

there was thunder in the bg for this WHOLE ep and i’m Big into it

absolutely CACKLING at the bit where merlin has to ask arthur if he looked back at uther’s spirit. it’s one of those nice big heavy questions - so heavy, in fact, that arthur can’t answer, can’t even LOOK at merlin, either because he’s ashamed or because he’s bugging out or both. you thought this shit was over? it’s never over! daddy issues are a lifelong ride, pal! arthur’s just get to haunt him literally this time. god it’s so fucking good

can i just say? merlin reads that damning silence reeeal well. and it’s a big, heavy thing to know about arthur - but then again he knows all the big heavy things about arthur

the score for this episode is really good too...very suspenseful and good, adds a lot to the atmosphere, keeps it from getting too slow

there’s a hint of merlin’s absolute HATRED of uther in this conversation again - the way his face tightens when he says “uther would do anything to protect his legacy and that makes him dangerous, who knows what he’s capable of now”

and arthur dismisses him because he can’t hear this but merlin almost refuses to leave - and when he DOES leave, he doesn’t take his eyes off arthur for one fucking second. he stares him down all the way out of the room. i don’t think it’s because he’s angry with arthur, per se - he’s angry with uther, and he knows uther in a way arthur never can or will, as someone ruthless who will kill without warning or remorse. he’s afraid of uther and he’s trying to get arthur to be afraid of uther too before it’s too late and LSDKFJGHSLDFJH

if you’re thinking “thats a lot to interpret from one look” yes it is but i’m right. IT’S A BIG, HEAVY LOOK. NICE AND LOADED. love unpacking all of that

i cant believe this dude tried to KILL GWEN like he really is coming after everything that makes arthur happy. im so glad it was merlin that saved her. i really do think merlin is her best friend

multiple times in this serious arthur fidgets when he’s nervous or thinking, usually with his hands near his mouth. i am endeared to him. my poor boy

“i always knew my father could be cruel but why would he do this to gwen when he knows i love her” BECAUSE HE’S CRUEL

merlin knows. merlin knows his cruelty much better than arthur. boy does he know. i’m dying. it’s fine

love that at this part of the ep we slide seamlessly into the “merlin and arthur are both scared shitless” section which was truly one of my favorite things about the s4 opener. they’re both so fucking jumpy and giving each other shit about being frightened and continuing to be frightened anyway. the DELICIOUS IRONY of arthur finally being scared of uther in the way merlin has been scared of uther for Y E A R S oh my god it’s so GOOD

do also love the entire silent conversation they have when deciding what to do about the door. this is what i mean by their upgraded vibe.l in the early seasons merlin wouldn’t have understood and his lack of understanding would have been played for laughs. now they’re totally in sync

here’s the thing, gaius could have made this magic “able to see uther’s ghost” potion for just arthur and he didn’t. he made it for both of them. everything arthur does merlin does. they’re partners in all things. they’re COMPANIONS. and this is why i finally now Ship It. tragic.

you know this is a kind of weird comparison but late seasons arthur reminds me JUST a bit of gwaine. he complains so much less that he sort of has that same “roll with whatever” vibe to him. pretend to faint so you can steal some guy’s dagger? why not. take this foul potion that may kill us? sure, let’s do it. come what may he’s not really fussed. much more unflappable

until he starts getting spooked again LMFAO 

we do love a good pair of spooked dumbasses. this is charming and entertaining.

leon HAD to know they were lying about poetry. he probably thought they were having.......a tryst,

love also that even in this very dire moment merlin does NOT miss the chance to have some fun at arthur’s expense. that’s true friendship

i got jumpscared three separate times during this ep and one of them was when uther was glaring down merlin and arthur in the hallway after leon left

arthur didn’t jump but he did go hunting after him and to his credit he does not look scared. he looks like a man who is trying to deal with his business and get his shit together

merlin made that FACE again when arthur expressed sadness at hunting his own father because all he ever wanted to DO was make him proud

honestly it’s like since he can’t shit-talk uther he just sings arthur’s praises instead like this here is a guy who is just barely holding his tongue about how fuckin pissed he is. i cant believe it

splitting up was the WORST idea. have they not seen scooby doo??

love that when merlin gets cornered by uther’s ghost and gets scared he yells for arthur and when arthur gets scared because his torch blows out he yells for merlin. you fools, why did you SPLIT UP

uther locks arthur in the room with him, which is already some top tier content, but doubly good? it’s the same room in which arthur nearly ran him through in 2.08. don’t think i didn’t notice. i did notice. i was shrieking into my hands.

seriously this is a pretty calm liveblog but the first time i watched this ep my face was like this the whole time: O O

just kept going “HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD” over and over. it was greeat

“arthur your fatal flaw is that you put too much trust in other people” do you think arthur, who now has a complex about people betraying him, ever forgot that for one second in his entire life afterward? me neither

speaking of 2.08 arthur dropped some FACTS “your hatred comes from fear” i'm sure they didn’t do it on purpose but #throwbacks

i’m fully experiencing human emotion. “i’m not you, i can’t rule like you did” he’s trying SO HARD to fight his way out of that bullshit

also lmao arthur like “then you’ll have to kill me” and uther like “yeah okay” arthur didn’t KNOW how this man was this could have been SUCH a good awakening

AND NOW IT’S TIME

FOR MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EPISODE

when i say merlin hates uther. WHEN I SAY MERLIN H A T E S UTHER

HIS LINE HERE. ok. “get away from him, uther. you’ve caused enough harm” he’s furious! he’s GROWLING! 

“you are just a serving boy” “i am much more than that” listen. human words cannot express the emotion that ran through me. when they said “we’re gonna bring back anthony head as uther” i doubted. when they said “he’s gonna be the bad guy and reopen all of arthur’s old wounds” i doubted. when they said “he’s still here LITERALLY haunting arthur who now has to HUNT HIM” I DOUBTED. i didn’t believe they’d do any of it until it was happening on my screen. but ONE LOOK at merlins face made a MOTHERFUCKING BELIEVER out of me. i knew exactly what he was about to do. pretty sure i gasped “NO” in astonishment

AND HE DID THAT

HE👏

DID👏

THAT👏

NOT ONLY. DID I SHRIEK ALOUD. FULL SCREAM. WHEN IT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME. BUT JUST NOW. WHEN I WATCHED HIM DO IT AGAIN. MORE SCREAMING.

how LONG do you think merlin had ACHED to do that

to show himself to uther for what he was, what he REALLY WAS, someone to be reckoned with instead of someone to be overlookedd, without fear of consequences

i can’t even like

like just imagine the triple rush of 1. satisfaction 2. rage 3. lingering habitual terror

i think at this moment merlin was closer to and more like morgana than he had ever been and maybe ever will be again. because the two of them have so much in common but one thing i didn’t really clock until now is how much they both hate uther

it’s so good. uther is SHOCKED and DISMAYED and this is like merlin’s old fear come back from death too (getting found out by uther) while at the same time being a dream come true (getting to tell uther what he really thinks, who he really is - “i was BORN with it!”) he’s so ANGRY! he is LIVID!)

he’s also really SATISFIED like “even while you were king there was magic at the heart of camelot” GOD how long has he been WAITING for this and not even realized it

and like then uther starts spewing his hateful bullshit and stalking forward with the intent to kill and my guy merlin who should be terrified STANDS HIS MOTHERFUCKING GROUND and says right over him “you’re wrong, you’re wrong” for thirty beautiful seconds merlin really got to be free. i know i will keep comparing things to 2.08 until i die but it’s just like when arthur was almost ready to kill uther in cold blood because for one perfect, brilliant moment he really and truly saw clearly the world as it was. i really love these moments...the strength of their respective convictions is so gratifying

merlin yeeting uther through a door is also gratifying although i have no idea what he hoped to accomplish by following without waking arthur first

i. LOVE. that the camera lingered a little on the spears or whatever after merlin walked by them. nice little foreshadowing moment

THOSE SPEARS GOT AWFULLY CLOSE BUT IM PRETTY SURE UTHER MISSED ON PURPOSE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TAKE HIS TIME. HIS MISTAKE

okay merlin spent the better part of a lifetime dreading uther’s death sentence and here’s uther stalking down a hallway sword pointed at his chest and certain death is IMMINENT and what does merlin’s face look like?

arthur comes in with the rescue and INSTANTLY his expression changes to?

IT’S BETTER IN MOTION BUT HE LOOKS READY TO CRY

my immediate thought: oh jesus what if uther outs him

i knew he wouldnt bc of spoilers but i would bet a benjamin that that was merlin’s first thought too

tbh. i wish he had.

i kind of wonder if merlin doesn’t wish the same thing. like yes being outed like that is terribly violating and he’s terrified of telling arthur obviously or he would have already but at the same time there would be so much relief once it was finally out. no more secret-keeping. no more burden

i mean, if you go back and watch it, dude’s straight up shaking. he’s trembling all over. he’s losing it. that last teary glance they exchanged.......

uther was two SYLLABLES away from blowing the whole thing

and in a better happier canon where arthur knows and was waiting for merlin to tell him this is like double angst because uther wouldve ben blowing something for them both

i like arthurs followup of realizing that he’ll never be able to please uther (step 1 of breaking away from the cycle of abuse) but for the LIFE OF ME

i will NEVER be able to understand why they segued into this GLOVE THING

i’m not talking about the glove thing

i will say however that by the end of this episode i was so hysterical i had to get up and get water and pace around my kitchen for ten minutes fanning my own face

and that’s it. that’s the second-best episode of merlin and the last good episode there ever was

[matronaa]

The Habits of My Heart || jjk

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 4,015 (holy fucc this is my longest one yet lmao)

Genre: Fluff, Angst ig idk, mention of smut? idk man dont ask me

A/N: This is kind of a vent post ?? I mean some of this is a real scenario and some isnt but like i needed to get some shit off my chest and this helped also this took so long and 4000 WORDS WAT i can normally barely get to 1.5k pls be proud okie bye

You had pushed the past memories into the back of your head, until now. Your years of high school flooded your mind once again when you saw him walk through the door. You knew it was a bad idea when you signed up for the music and band department at your university, but you had gotten rid of the constant anxiety after your first year ended. It was halfway through your second year, and you already regretted letting your best friend, Yoongi, sign you up again.

   Through high school, you had avoided all music or instrumental courses to avoid a classmate of yours. Although you were never really friends, you had known him since middle school. Even though you used to talk, you completely hated him. You watched him turn into a complete fuckboy while going to school together, and despite knowing his ways, you still fell for him. It was something about his comforting and easy going demeanor that had you wrapped around his finger. Although you were almost completely sure you were in love with the boy, you refused to admit it. He could get any girl, and he knew it. He could barely go a month before he was in some girls pants, and there were hardly any girls that denied him. You were surprised he hadn’t gotten anyone pregnant. Though his player tendencies were always apparent, you still cared for him. Of course you didn’t want to, but it wasn’t under your control. He had subconsciously taken over your physical, emotional, and mental being. You slowly became more aware that your crush on him had escalated into something unhealthy. You were positive he knew you liked him, and him being who he was used this to play around with you. He would lead you on to believe he liked you, only to get a girlfriend and basically make out with her right in front of you. He did this numerous times, also sprinkling in times he was mad or ignored you for no reason. This sent you down a spiral depression, but at the end of the day he was always the last thing you thought of at night. You hated how you let him affect you, and you continued to blame yourself every day for the pain you went through. Even after high school, his name rang in your ears every time you saw something that reminded you of him. Jeon Jungkook. The boy who almost ruined music for you. Not necessarily listening to it, but you stopped loving it in the way you once did.

At your high school they offered rock band or singing classes in your music department, for teenagers who wanted to pursue a career or hobby in music. These two classes would collaborate to perform a battle of the bands every year. In your freshman year of high school, you signed up for the singing classes, where you learned how to perform and how to make or produce your own music. You had loved to sing and fell in love with the class. You were always in chorus or choir classes since elementary school, so you were amazed at the opportunity to not only sing whatever songs you want but to also write your own. You remembered when they announced the official battle of the bands' date, your friends basically attacked and forced you to sing for their band. You had agreed, wanting an excuse to hang out with them more, but you later regretted your decision. You soon found out Jeon Jungkook was the drummer for their band. It was so awkward at first, but you soon became friends. You had promised yourself you wouldn’t fall back into the loop you were in the years before, but you couldn’t ignore how much you loved the sound of his laugh, or how beautiful his smile was when directed at you. You found yourself prioritizing his happiness over yours, and you gave your heart what it wanted. Even after the battle of the bands, (which your band won) he continued to work with you when you wrote your own music. He seemed to love influencing the way you made music, often giving you advice on the audio. You sought after his approval, and although you had thought he changed, he returned to his old self. This continued on until you were both juniors. One late night you received a text from Jungkook right before you were going to go to sleep. You almost choked when you read his text.

1:07 am

I really like you, I hope you know that <3.

You didn’t believe him, and he spent almost 2 hours convincing you he did. He asked you out on a date that Friday, which you agreed to. The date was soon canceled to what you found the next day.

   Mother nature had decided to pay a surprise visit, so you quickly rushed to the nearest bathroom to your class. You ran into the bathroom, hand already reaching into your purse to make sure you had a pad when you saw it. Jeon Jungkook, balls deep into your best friend. You gasped and locked eyes with Jungkook, then you looked at your friend.

   “Don’t you ever fucking talk to me again. Either of you.” Was the last sentence you said before running out of the bathroom, down the hall, and into another to call your older sister to pick you up early.

   Your depression was horrible, worse than ever. You sister talked you out of suicide multiple times, and you ended up staying home for a month before your parents signed you up to complete high school online. For the first few weeks you were gone, you continuously got texts from both Jungkook and your ex-best friend. After the second week, she had given up, but Jungkook continued to text and call. He did this until you finally answered and told him to fuck off. After that you never heard from them again. You thought you finally found people you could trust, people to make you happy. You were wrong, and they betrayed you and left like everyone before.

   Although you stayed home often, you did make friends online. You met your best friend Yoongi in one of the live streamed classes you had to watch. When the professor asked a question for us to answer, Yoongi would always answer correctly, but not without a snarky remark. You couldn’t help but privately message him, and you both instantly clicked. You exchanged social media and soon numbers. You were inseparable, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. While getting to know him, you realized you had a lot in common. You both had depression and anxiety, and that influenced your taste in music and writing. When you graduated, you flew the hour flight to his town and finally met. He told you about the university he was going to attend, and about their music program. Although you were against it at first, he convinced you to send in an application. When you received the acceptance letter, you rented an apartment with Yoongi against your parents wishes. Although they were very supportive, they didn’t think moving in with someone you only knew for a year, let alone a boy, was a good idea. As much as they believed this, you knew the friendship you had with Yoongi was strictly platonic.

   Your first year at the university was amazing. You made friends quickly, and you were never very stressed. All of your classes were fairly easy, as you were going for a degree in arts, so you had lots of free time. You and Yoongi often wrote songs together, him accompanying you on the piano or keyboard while you sang vocals. You were finally able to write out your anger for the boy who made school a living hell, and you never felt happier. That is until today.

   You and Yoongi were sitting on the couch in the band room, your head in his lap as you both scrolled through social media. You heard a familiar voice from across the room, but you decided to ignore it as you watched a funny video on Instagram. You heard a laugh filled the room that made your heart drop. His laugh. You sat up and looked around the room, almost immediately locking eyes with him. Jungkook, the one you had successfully avoided until now. He flashed a small smile at you and waved shyly. He was wearing a red hoodie and black ripped jeans. You laid back down on Yoongi, ignoring him, and proceeded to spam your best friends messages.

   “Y/N why are you texting me, you’re right next to me-” He began before you forcefully jammed your elbow in his stomach.

   “Shut up and just text me,” you demanded.

You sat up and started to smack Yoongi, repeatedly saying how this wasn’t a joking matter as he continued to die laughing.

   “Look, I’m hungry and I need an excuse to leave or else I’m going to die. Come with me and I’ll buy you lunch.” You said quietly. Yoongi gave in and stood up, and you followed him out of the band room.

   Of course not before you and Jungkook locked eyes once again. You and Yoongi walked across the campus to the nearby McDonald’s, where you began to regret buying him food because he ordered some of the most expensive meals. How does a McDonald's order come to this much, you thought as you could almost hear your wallet crying out for help. You walked back towards campus while stuffing your face with fries and scrolling through Twitter. You didn’t normally get McDonald's because it was unhealthy, but you allowed yourself to indulge in their warm fries and delicious apple pies every once and awhile. You were about to show Yoongi something funny when he nudged you with your elbow. You looked up and saw Jungkook walking this way.

   Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

   “Hey Y/N! I haven’t seen you in so long!” He said, flashing his signature smile. Your heart dropped hearing his voice say your name once again.

   “Hey Jungkook, how have you been.” You smiled as best as you could, trying not to show how nervous you were.

   “Pretty good, just moved here so I’m still getting used to the place. How have you been?” You hated how he kept eye contact with you, it was one of those things that gave you a bunch of unnecessary butterflies.

“I’ve been good. Oh, and this is my friend Yoongi.” You said introducing him, needing a topic so there wouldn’t be any awkward silence.

“Hey man, nice to meet you.” Jungkook and Yoongi shook hands and you prayed for Jungkook to say-

“So I have to go to my last class for the day, but I’ll see you around,” Jungkook said.

“Alright, see you!” Yes! You were so happy he actually had to be somewhere. You and Yoongi waved goodbye as Jungkook began to walk in the opposite direction. You turned back to start walking to the band room when you nearly collapsed because of the bottled up nerves.

You felt bad after you forced Yoongi to listen to your 2-hour rant on how you never wanted to see Jungkook again and that the universe hated you, but he was your best friend and signed up for this when he signed the lease to your apartment. A few weeks past and your music class began to get less awkward than in the beginning. There was no point to try and ignore Jungkook because he was the type to never get the hint. You could ignore him for weeks and he’d still try and talk to you.

You walk into class one day with Yoongi to see a new assignment on the board. The teacher immediately lost his title of favorite teacher as you read the details. “You have 4 weeks to form a group, write and produce a song, and make it performance ready. Today will mark day one, form a group and plan out the most effective strategy to complete this task.” You started telling yourself in your head that it would be fine, and that Jungkook probably had his own band already with his set of friends. You began forming your group with Yoongi on the keyboard, your friend Jennie on guitar, and your other friend Lisa helping you with vocals. You realized you needed a drummer and you mentally cursed yourself. You walked over to one of your friends, Min Hyuk and asked him if he could join your band. You weren’t very close, but you talked often since you had a lot of classes with him the year before.

“Sorry, I’m already in someone's band. I think Jungkook is free though.” He smiled softly, completely unaware of your predicament.

“It's fine, thank you though.” You walked back to Yoongi after saying your goodbye, silently freaking out.

“Yoongi we’re fucked.”

“No, we aren’t” He chuckled.

“The only drummer left is Jungkook which I am not okay with.” You whispered to him.

“Ask him to be in the band, or I will.” He said sternly.

“Fine.” You whined as you walked across the room to where Jungkook was sitting, his focus down at his phone. “Jungkook.”

“O-oh hey Y/N, you scared me.” He jumped as he noticed your figure standing next to him. You watched him pull his earbuds out of his ear and you realized he didn’t hear you when you called his name.

“Hey, I wanted to ask if you wanted to join my group, we need a drummer.” You asked shyly, still unable to look him in the eye for too long.

“Yeah sure, of course.” He said as he stood up, smiling down at you. You both walked back to the group.

“I found a drummer!” You said, glaring at Yoongi. Lisa and Jennie introduce themselves to Jungkook and you all begin to work on a plan to complete the assignment. You decided that you would meet every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to work on the song but for now to just think of what to write the song about.

Due to popular demand and the ease, you decided to write a song about heartbreak. You were all sitting in you and Yoongi’s living room floor, sharing past stories that could relate to the topic in hopes of coming up with at least the chorus. You had slightly zoned out after Lisa’s story, as you didn’t want to bring up details from your own memories. Sadly, it was soon your turn to share your experience.

“Yah, Y/n, share your story!” Jennie said excitedly, flashing her adorable grin.

“Um.. well..” God, you hated being put on the spot. It gave you so much anxiety. “I just fell in love with someone I thought cared about me. But obviously, he didn’t.” You ended with a nervous chuckle.

“Give us details~ I want to hear the whole story.” Yoongi dragged on, earning a glare from you. Yoongi obviously already knew the entire story, and basically lived it through your past late night mental breakdowns.

“Well…. I knew him for a while,” You started as you brought your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. You placed your chin on your arms and stared at the floor in front of you as you continued, “He was a playboy, and knew very well he could get any girl. I promised myself I wouldn’t fall for him of course, but I did. And he knew that.” You glanced up at Jungkook and immediately began to drown in his soft brown eyes. However, this time you saw something different in them. A hint of sadness, regret even. Although you didn’t mean for him to know you were talking about him, of course he could tell. “I wouldn’t say he used that against me, but I felt used almost constantly. But I looked past that because we were young and stupid, and I knew he was a good person. In the end, he lied to me and pretended to like me, just to fuck my best friend.”

You watched Jungkook slightly cringe at the last sentence. You almost let yourself feel bad for being so harsh and blunt, but it was his own fault. He’s the one who made the mistakes, the only mistake you made was falling for him.

“That's fucked up…” Lisa said, her eyes filled with sympathy. Almost immediately brightened right back up as she turned to the only person who hadn’t told a story. “What about you Jungkook? Have you ever had your heart broken?” It was obvious she had a crush on him, but she hadn’t admitted it yet and you decided not to ask.

“Hah, usually I’m the heartbreaker,” He winked, “No, seriously though? I have.”

You looked at him, both confusion and surprise plastered across your face. Since when did Jeon Jungkook have a heart? 

“Like in Y/n’s experience, we knew each other for a while, and I fell in love almost instantly. In fact, I don’t remember a time that I didn’t love her.” Jungkook let out a sad chuckle as he leaned back against the bottom of the couch, his hands falling into his lap. You glanced away, but almost immediately felt his eyes burning a hole into you. You were always sensitive to his gaze, and prolonged eye contact with him tended to make you lightheaded. “But I made a bunch of mistakes, and although we were friends I turned her against me. I used to do that a lot.”

“Do what a lot?” Yoongi asked, his head tilting in curiosity.

“Turn my friends against me. I ended up losing all my friends in high school by the end of senior year. I was a horrible and selfish person back then. Luckily, I was able to apologize to almost everyone I hurt. Except for her.”

You turned to look at him again, and the hint of regret that you saw before turned into a sad, apologetic haze. He seemed to zone out as he was flooded with memories he had pushed to the back of his mind.

“W-what would you say to her if you could apologize.” Your voice seemed to falter, but no one else seemed to notice. Something told you he was talking about you, but there was no way. He couldn’t have actually loved you.

He stared deep into your eyes, into your soul. A glare you only remembered seeing in the most intimate and serious times you had with Jungkook, and you gave into his eyes as his voice gave you shivers down your spine as it went down an entire octave.

“I’d tell her I still loved her, and even if she never forgave me or if she didn’t care about me anymore, I’d still love her.”

_____________

   “Okay, we’ll meet again on Monday, have a good night!” You said as you saw everyone out. You had finally finished the chorus for the song and decided to call it a night. You watched Lisa and Jennie walk out before you turned back to Jungkook gathering his things into his backpack.

   “Hey, Kook, can I talk to you?” You asked quietly and he nodded in response. You brought him back to the kitchen and leaned against the counter. He seemed to copy you and leaned against the dishwasher across from you.

   “What’s up?” He said, nervously.

   “Uhm… Who were you talking about? Like we went to the same high school, so I was just wondering.” You wondered out loud. Jungkook's eyes flickered around the room, and he was obviously ansty. He sighed before answering.

   “I think you know who I was talking about.” He said in a low voice, similar to earlier. He slowly walked over to stand right in front of you, and you were only inches apart.

   “Oh really?” You said, raising an eyebrow. You felt yourself giving into him once again. No, no, no, no. Y/n, shut up you flirty bastard this is not the time. “Who?” Jungkook leaned in closer, pinning you with his body gripping the counter on each side of you. You could feel his breath fan over you, his eyes piercing through every defense you had against him.

   “You.” He said before you felt his lips against yours. God knows how hard you tried to bring yourself to stop, but his lips were too soft and you were too weak. You felt his hands against your hips and you instinctively brought your hands up to tangle your fingers in his hair. His tongue grazed your bottom lip and you instantly granted him entrance. He gripped your hips once again as he lifted you to sit on the counter before settling himself comfortably in between your legs. You moaned into his mouth as his hands traveled up under your shirt, only to return down to your hips the back again. He seemed to know every way to please you, which only made it easier to get his way with you. His lips drifted from yours down to your jawline, causing you to gasp softly as he sucked against your skin, raising bruises to the surface. He continued down to your collarbone.

   Suddenly he stopped, his hands comfortably wrapping around you, pressing your body against his. He rested his forehead on your shoulder and lost himself in your scent. God, he missed you, but he never allowed himself to truly show to what extent. Your hands left his hair and fell over his shoulders. You leaned your head against his and relaxed into the hug, taking advantage of his closeness.

   “I love you…” He whispered, in a way that he didn’t really expect you to hear him.

   “I love you too…” You sighed, causing him to pull away.

   “Wait really?” He asked, surprised by your response.

   “Yes, you dumbfuck now keep hugging me.” You said as you grabbed at the air between you, signaling that you wanted him to come back to you. He leaned back into your arms before wrapping his hands under your thighs, picking you up.

   “Which one is your room?” He asked as you leaned your head on his shoulder.

   “First one on the right.” You yawned, the feeling of tiredness overcoming your senses. You closed your eyes and heard Jungkook open your bedroom door. He turned on the light before setting you down on your bed.

   “You’re such a baby when you’re sleepy.” He chuckled as you slowly crawled under your sheets.

   “Shut up and come cuddle.” You smiled, your eyes still closed as you finally settled under your blanket and waited for Jungkook to join you. When he did, you noticed he wasn’t wearing the hoodie he once was. You scooted closer to him and felt him wrap his arms around you once again. Your nose pressed into the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. You noticed he smelled different from in high school. It was more of a warm, comforting smell than his old cool and confident scent. You had fully given in to all that was Jungkook, and although everything in your being told you you shouldn’t be here with him, you were. And you loved every minute of it.

   You loved every minute of Jungkook nervously trying to ask you to be his girlfriend. You loved every minute of his ‘weekly movie nights’ that included you both falling asleep on the couch, tangled up together. You loved every minute of him showing up without warning in the middle of the night, claiming he couldn’t fall asleep without you next to him. You loved his smile and the laugh you could bring out of him from your shared sense of humor, You loved the full year he waited before asking to have sex. And you loved every minute of the feeling of his hands roaming over you as you finally connected in a way you only dreamed of. You were truly in love with the man who slept next to you, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

A/n: If you have any requests please feel free to suggest them, im slowly running out of ideas and i need some lmaoo

[moanbyul-yi]

k so @byulyi dared me to do all the flowers from this and my dumbass thought it was a great idea to accept the dare but my dumbass also fucked up and basically deleted the ask so here it is in a post lmao buckle up bitch!! (u really dont have to read it if u dont want its sm longer than i thought it would be) 

amaryllis - name an attribute of yourself that you are proud of. proud of my ability to find the shittiest and worst tv shows/movies and watch them religiously lmao

anemone - describe a time when you felt abandoned or betrayed by someone you loved. back in yr 8??9?? i had a super close friend (that i was also in love with but i didnt realise bc of compulsive heterosexuality) that randomly cut off ties with me and yike it sucked 

azalea - would you describe yourself as a patient person? in terms of simple things like waiting on a package no lmao but if its waiting for a person or smthn like ykno that deep shit then yeah 

begonia - describe anything you see as a “red flag” (something that makes you cautious about a new friend or love interest) straight up if theyre an asshole,, if they say something homophobic/racist/sexist etc just if theyre not accepting and nice to all people 

bird of paradise - do you like hosting parties, or do you prefer to just attend? i love hosting!!!!!!! i love making sure everyones havin a lit time and organising all the stuff 

bluebell - what keeps you humble? tbh idk how to answer this question just bc ig im not really in a position where i have stuff to flex so like i dont have a lot to be humble about ?? in terms of like achievements n shit 

chysanthemum - describe your idea of a perfect day.  this is kinda gay but honestly just a day i get to spend chilling with my girl whether we go out or just stay home and binge movies all day whatever it is,, just to have a chill day with her with no ‘you have to be doing this!!!!!!’ feeling 

spring crocus - describe your favourite childhood memory. the first one that comes to mind is me and my cousin when we were like 5yo running around the house with a cape on pretending we were superheroes

daffodil - how do you confess your feelings to someone you’re interested in? ive only done it twice, the first time was a complete Mess and the second time they initiated it so idk lol i wing it ig 

daisy - describe something that gives you hope when things seem bleak. honestly idk bc im the kinda person that just wallows in their sadboi but i guess something that helps is just talking to people esp my gf about whatever it is thats sucky

foxglove - when was the last time you told a lie? i told my parents i was going to the city for lunch with a friend today but i went to a dance class for love shot by exo lmao 

gardenia - have you ever had to keep a romance a secret? if so, why and for how long?  yeah bc we were both not out - had to keep it a secret from p much everyone other than a few friends the entire time we were tgt 

purple hyacinth - describe a time when you had to apologize to someone last year,, i had a fight(??) with my friend and yeah 

hydrangea - how much time do you spend on your appearance each day? not a lot i always look like a Mess 

white jasmine - what is something that never fails to make you laugh? !!!!!!!mamamoo !!!!!! 

lavender -  describe your oldest friendship, and why you think it has lasted so long. i have a primary sch friend and we’ve been friends sort of since kindy but properly for like 8 years???? its the kinda friendship where we dont have to talk often but we can hit each other up whenever and it isnt weird its just chill and gucci ( @akicchisano luv u binch no homo)

lilac - describe your first relationship or first love. yeet ok my first pROper rs?? lasted like a year and a half and it was a friend in high school,, uhh it was good while it lasted but im glad its over and i wouldnt go back lmao but it was definitely a learning experience 

calla lily - what traits do you find beautiful in others? in yourself? i guess imma be really typical and say kindness like the kindness in which u dont expect anything in return?? like the way people aim to make people happy and laugh and shit ykno (i just woke up soz this is terrible)

tiger lily - if you had to choose between doing what you love and making very little money, or doing a job you hate and making a lot of money, what would you choose and why? im assuming the very little money is still enough to get by?? but i would choose that just bc if i hated my job idk how long i would last in it but i dont think it would be very long at all. if i had people to provide for or something tho then definitely the second bc gotta get that dough for them 

lotus flower - would you say that you are a spiritual person? if so, what elements of spirituality are important to you? nah im not really  

magnolia - describe your favourite thing to do outdoors. probably just walking around ykno with nothing to do or maybe hiking?? sightseeing?? shit like that 

morning glory - are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection? very lmao if i like you romantically or platonically ill be v touchy and cuddly if u reciprocate it,, i also will give random gifts like stuff ive made or stuff that reminds me of that person just random small things 

pansy - what is the most thoughtful thing that anyone has done for you? idk if this is the mOSt thoughtful bc i have bad memory but that one time the mvp @akicchisano bought me a smol christmas tree bc i kept talking about how i wanted one but couldnt find one that shit got me busting the phattest uwus

peony - describe the top three things necessary for a happy life.  a sugar daddy,, good food,, girls

petunia - what never fails to make you angry? when people borrow shit and dont put it back how they found it >:(

red poppy - what tips or tricks do you use to cheer yourself up when you’re down? i go for a drive (i cant drive so i make my brother lmao) or i watch smthn funny just get my mind off it somehow

red rose - describe your ideal date or romantic evening.  shit idk about ideal but itd be really nice to maybe get dinner and go star gazing like somewhere far where theres less light pollution and hella stars and then after that just coming home to binge movies and cuddle

yellow rose - do you get jealous easily? sO easily its terrible but most of the time i dont do anything about it

snowdrop - have you ever had a falling out with a friend or family member? not in such a way thats resulted in us not ever talking again 

sunflower - do you consider yourself a loyal person?  ye,, ya girl aint no hoe

sweet pea - describe a difficult goodbye you had to make to a friend or other loved one. probably saying bye to all my family bc they came to visit and having to send them off opened up some real emo hours :((((

violet - how important is loyalty in friendships and/or relationships? v important bc u gotta have someone to rely on but it should be loyalty and not blindly following 

wisteria - do you like poetry? if so, describe your favorite poem(s). yeah i kinda just like random poetry theres a lot from an insta acc called poeticpoison that i really like

zinnia - do you have any loved ones in your life that you miss and wish you could see?  yeahh my gorlfriend and all my family since they all live in different countries

[xukunstellation]

Big Bro || Lin Yanjun

Title: Big Bro Pairing: Reader x Yanjun Genre: OlderBrother!AU + slice of life) Word Count: 1483 words Summary: You and your older brother may not always get along, but you know that he’ll always have your back. Warning: mentions of cheating

A/N: This is the first time I’ve ever written a sibling au, so this is exciting! I would love to have Yanjun as an older brother tbh. Happy reading!

oof can you imagine yanjun as your older brother tho

i can only imagine he’d be two things

a blessing

and a headache lmao

onward to the fic

you and yanjun shared the typical sibling relationship 

which means constant fighting and teasing from both parties

the two of you can’t go a day without being at each other’s neck tbh

1 like = 1 prayer for your poor parents who have to go through their kids bs everyday

normal occurrences usually go like this

“yanjun don’t eat the food that’s in the fridge”

“oh, you mean the three slices of pizza on the top shelf? too late lmao”

“lin yanjun istg i will eND YOU”

or

“yo bro i need $20″

“get lost, loser. why would i give you my hard earned money?”

“oh, ig that’s fine. in that case, you wouldn’t mind if i told mom about how it was you who knocked over her favorite vase but blamed it on the cat instead, right?”

“...”

“slide in an extra $10 and i also wont tell her that it ocurred the same night you snuck out to zhangjing’s party”

“i hate you”

also let’s not forget 

“LIN YANJUN GTFO OF THE SHOWER! IT’S BEEN TWO HOURS AND I HAVE TO PEE”

ofc things weren’t always so bad

usually when hell freezes over

for example

yanjun and you had this sort of ritual where he drives you both to the nearest fast food place at two in the morning once a week

it was your way of bonding with each other and what better way to bond than over food?

yanjun was also your own personal chauffeur and drove you around his fancy motorcycle whenever you needed to get places

this idiot named his motorcycle angle angel 

in return, you often helped sneak him into the house whenever he was out longer than he was supposed to

you joked that he was going through his rebellious phase

except that it occurred 24/7 365 days a year

one time he tried to climb in through your bedroom window at 4 in the morning

you almost dialed 911 on him bc you thought he was an intruder

ffs yanjun wyd

in short, you both had your moments where you actually got along for once

unfortunately, this was not one of those times

you angrily stormed into your older brother’s room, slamming his door open as it hit the wall with a loud bang

“what the hell is your problem? can’t you knock?” yanjun glared, removing his headphones off his head

“cough it up,” you demanded, holding out your hand impatiently

“what are you even talking about?”

“my watch! the expensive silver one that dad gave me for my birthday”

“look (y/n), sorry to burst your bubble but i don’t have your watch”

you raised your voice in anger, “stop lying! i know you stole it from me after i saw you eyeing it the other day”

annoyed with the accusation, yanjun’s glare intensified and his voice yelled back even louder, “i didn’t steal anything, idiot! maybe if you learn to be more responsible, you’ll stop losing things!”

you groaned in frustration, flipping him the finger and stomping out of his room. you didn’t have time for this.

after the fight, you were running late for your date with your partner who you’ve been seeing recently

when you arrived at the restaurant, you were shocked to see your partner in the arms of another person. you watched as the two of them exchange kisses with their arms wrapped around each other

*insert ‘oh hell no’ vine here*

you marched your way over to them, picked up a glass of water and splashed it all over your partner’s face

they were obviously a v thirsty mofo

the entire restaurant went silent bc oh shiiiiiit

somebody call worldstarhiphop 

“you cheater! you make me absolutely sick. we’re over. i deserve a lot better than your sorry ass” you scowled

yaaaas you go king/queen

the entire restaurant literally broke out into applause and whistles for you

wow where can i get that kind of support

even with the cheers, you were understandably still really pissed

huffing, you walked over to the nearest bus station down the street

you cursed when you realized you had just missed your bus back home and the next one wouldn’t be for another hour

rummaging in your bag for your phone, your fingers grazed against something cool

pulling it out, you realized it was your silver watch that you had accused yanjun of stealing earlier that day

a wave of guilt washed over you

not only did you get cheated on but you felt like the world’s shittiest little sibling ever

scrolling through the contacts on your phone, your thumb hovered over yanjun’s contact name

you debated whether or not you should call him to give you a ride. both of your parents were at work and you knew he was still most likely at home at this time

but would he even pick up your call?

after a few seconds of hesitance, you settled for texting him instead

you: they cheated on me. please take me home.

honestly you didn’t expect him to text you back since he usually needed time to cool down after fighting. you mentally prepared your self for the long walk home.

to your surprise, yanjun immediately texted you back

the adopted sibling 🙄 : stay where you are. i’m coming to get you.

after texting him the details of your location, it didn’t take long for him to show up on his noble steed motorcycle. offering you a small smirk, you returning it with a small smile. he tossed you the spare helmet and you strapped it on before hopping on behind him

the two of your drove in silence but not necessarily an awkward silence. it was more so yanjun not wanting to force you to say anything until you were ready. you were also trying to wrap your mind around how hectic this day was.

“yanjun? are you still mad at me?” you asked when he stopped at a red light

“mad at you? nah. i’m over it. your ex? i’m going to kill them” he replied

you smacked his shoulder, rolling your eyes with a snort as he pretended to wince in pain “if you end up in jail, can i keep all of your things?”

“wow i go through the lengths of getting revenge on your ex for you and all you care about is keeping my things? i’m no star student but i’m pretty sure that’s not how it works”

you grinned, “in my world it does”

once he started driving again, you started to notice you both were going in the wrong direction

“hey, i know i’m not the best at directions but i’m pretty sure we just missed the turn to our house”

“that’s bc we aren’t going home. we’re gonna go to our favorite diner so you can eat your weight in food”

“i do not-- ok you know what, you got me there”

“thought so”

being the awesome older brother he was, he let you order whatever you wanted on the menu and even paid for it all. he saw you were still a little down, so he even tried to make you laugh by telling you more of his lame jokes

which honestly made you want to cry more than your break up bc his jokes were so bad

when will he ever learn tbh

“i’m sorry for accusing you of stealing my watch earlier today. you’re right, i should be more responsible with my things,” you apologized sheepishly, poking at your ice cream sundae

“don’t worry about it, kid, it happens. you’re definitely more responsible than i am. that’s for sure,” he chuckled, leaning forward to steal a scoop of your sundae

“woah buddy, hands off! you have your own!”

“yours looks better than mine!”

“we literally have the same order!”

and so you both went back to being the bickering pair of siblings we all know and love

the next time you saw your ex, you saw them freaking out from their car being towed away

was your eyes deceiving you or did you see slashed tires?

when you went to question yanjun about it, he acted as if he had no idea what you were talking about

“bro, what did you do to my ex’s car?”

“nothing you can prove”

yes you’re big brother was hella annoying

and yes he did drive you absolutely nuts

but you knew that at the end of the day

you knew that you both loved each other

you would always be there for him

and yanjun would always be there for you

fin

i dont have any brothers irl

but if i did

i wouldn’t mind him being yanjun tbh