#also one of the only fandoms where i love two ships simultaneously that both involve one of the same characters!!

[bit-was-here]

some kinda rough (ford)^2/fiddauthor doodles for drawing practice!! trying to relearn a more cartoony and lose style :3

(also in case it’s not obvious, ford is supposed to be sloshed in the second pic, i was gonna have em holding solo cups but it was looking kinda terrible….)

also also if you’re reading this, lemme know which ship name you prefer for them. low stakes question, i’m just genuinely curious what the fandom thinks. i personally love (ford)^2 because like..cmon…they’re both nerds…it’s so perfect (im also a math nerd to maybe im biased….)

wow that description overstayed its welcome i’ll never do that again my apologies

[narutakijune]

About ATLA Relationship Arcs

So, this is me, finally trying to write some meta after lurking in my little tumblr corner for months! Hi!

Although I’ve tried to tag properly, if you are a Kat*anger and just want to enjoy your favourite couple in peace, this might not be the post for you. I am not trying to bash characters but I do have a lot of critical stuff to say about the writing.

Anyway, you have been warned and here is my story about my personal first Atla experience: I watched the show this year for the first time, and after the end of Book 1 I decided to look up spoilers, because after what happened to Yue, I wanted to make sure that Zuko and Iroh would be ok. So I knew what was going to happen: Kat*ang endgame and absolutely no Zutara at all. Still, by the end of Book 3, I was convinced that I had read wrong - that there would be an epilogue with a different ending or at least that Aang would only get together with Katara post-show- in that Korra series or something - because anything else wouldn’t make sense- right?

….

After I got over my shock and surprise, I went online and found out about that decade-long aggressive passionate ship war and how even the showrunners got involved.

And then I really worried that I might have missed a few points. Apparently ”Aang and Katara were the DNA of the show”, according to the creators themselves, and “Zutara could never have happened”.

Another popular anti-ZK argument I found was: Why do you always go on about Katara and Zuko? Just look at Zuko and Aang! They are the hero/ anti-hero and each other’s foils, their relationship is much more meaningful!”

So I tried to find out what it was that I apparently couldn’t see.

(Another disclaimer: I love analysing stories (like many Zutarians apparently) and this will get long and rambly. If you get bored to tears when people start talking about “narrative structure” you will probably not like this.)

Talking about narrative structure, I do believe that, in order to let your story, your characters and their relationships really shine, a good basic structure is important. There should be a recognizable development and individual parts of the story that build upon each other and lead to consequences and change, until there is a completed arc - because it is all about the journey that takes you to a satisfying ending, right? So that’s what I tried to do, with my personal Kat*ang vs. Zutara take, I tried to look at the structure and development of their relationship arcs.

The argument that threw me off track for a while is that compared to Aang and Zuko, Zuko and Katara’s relationship is not supposed to be that relevant for the plot. After all, Zuko is the foil, the anti-hero, the deuteragonist to Aang, who is the hero protagonist.

This is all true of course. But then why is it that in every finale, Zuko’s main opponent (and later ally) is not Aang but Katara? Why is it that their sun/moon, red/blue, fire/water dichotomy is so obviously highlighted?

I think one reason why Zuko and Katara are paired off so frequently in the story - as opposite elements, as opponents and as allies - is that they BOTH are Aang’s deuteragonists. While Zuko also acts as antagonist and Aang’s foil/mirror, Katara takes over the more traditional deuteragonist role of confidant / best friend/ narrator.

Protagonist Aang is what connects them, although they are on opposite sides: Both need Aang because he represents their hope to save their world. Very simply put, Katara protects him, so he can make the world a safer place again, and Zuko wants to capture him, so he can go home and be safe again. That rivalry between them is already established in the first episode, even before they meet each other: Katara, who hopes that the Avatar will return (as she tells everyone in the intro), and Zuko, who seems to be obsessed with finding him for more sinister reasons.

And just to make sure, I am not talking here about the characters’ feelings and emotions! This is just about the abstract roles they have been assigned within the narrative.

When regarding Zutara’s special connection to Aang and their rivalry with each other, it makes absolute sense to stress their “same but different”ness as well, visually and metaphorically: Red and blue, fire and water, sun and moon, arguably Painted Lady/Blue Spirit, and, when you put into account their story arc, also Oma and Shu.

With this basis, which puts them together and sets them apart simultaneously, their relationship already becomes very dynamic and interesting, even before you consider any romantic potential.

And here’s another thing, Zuko and Katara also have their own story arc within the main plot. Although they don’t have many scenes together before Zuko joins the Gaang, when they do meet there is always a new shift in their relationship and in quite a few cases their interactions are important for the main plot as well. If you just look at their “end fights” at each book’s finale, there is an obvious and consequential build-up, like any decent story arc should have:

Book 1 starts with Zuko as the powered-up enemy and Katara as the weak newbie waterbender. Both are battling over Aang. At the end of Book 1, they are finally established as equally powerful fighters but still fundamentally different (You rise with the moon, I rise with the sun!)

In CoD at the end of Book 2 happens the next step: they realize that they are not different at all! But Aang still doesn’t represent the same for them and they end up on opposing sides of the war again.

In the Book 3 finale, when Zuko has completed his own (anti-) hero's journey and Aang represents the same “hope” for both of them, they do not only join forces: Their “same but different”- traits make them such a uniquely suited match that they are even able to save each other’s lives during their fight with Azula (who in turn happens to be Katara and Zuko’s antagonist/mirror/foil).

And in addition to their own story arc they even get an individual recurring theme, which also appears in every book whenever their relationship status changes: The lost mothers, especially Katara’s mother.

In Book 1, Katara’s necklace (the symbol of Kiya) plays not only a major part in two of Zuko’s capture attempts, it is the reason for their very first one-one one encounter in the story.

Their first friendly connection in COD in Book 2 happens because they start talking about their mothers. And in Book 3, their final reconciliation (sealed with a very cathartic hug) happens after their life-changing trip which is, of course, all about Katara’s mother.

Again, I am not even trying to analyse their characters and motivations within the story - there are many metas that have already done that much better, more detailed and with screenshots. This is just dry structure and tropes and themes. But I think people recognize and connect with a well-structured arc, even subconsciously, which is one of the reasons that makes Zutara such a compelling couple. They complete and contrast each other, their relationship dynamic constantly changes, builds up, falls apart, reconnects. Such a setup is the perfect playground for a lot of creative takes on what-ifs and alternative scenarios and of course, shipping them romantically is extremely tempting - think of all the possibilities! It’s no wonder that the Zutara fandom is still so active decades after the end of the show. And it’s also no wonder that the Zutarians are known for “over-analysing everything”. You can only over-analyse if there is anything that gives you enough food to analyse to begin with. Which brings me to

KAT*ANG

I just go right to the top and take the quote from Br*yke themselves:

Kata*ng was in the DNA of the thing from the start…. [Zutara] was just dark and intriguing.

If you read this quote and then start watching the show, I would (grudgingly) agree that:

Aang and Katara understand and complement each other really well. Aang gives her the chance to have fun and go on adventures and in turn, Katara is his fiercest supporter from the very beginning, something that he really needs after he lost all his people AND has to find out that the world thinks the war is sort of his fault. In turn, the journey to the North Pole is as important to Katara as it is to Aang, because it is her dream to learn waterbending properly. That’s what she literally says when Sokka & Co try to banish Aang: (Sokka: Where do you think you’re going? Katara: To find a waterbender. Aang is taking me to the North Pole.) In that way, they are friends who give and take equally and are equally taken care of. They even have the last Airbender/ last Southern Waterbender status that connects them. The few times they have a fight, Aang does something in the end to redeem himself (perform some heroic feat) and Katara sees that she is right to believe in him.

Aang has this very sweet crush on her and it will be very sweet and wholesome when Katara will return his feelings at the end of their adventure after he has hit puberty. On the other side, there is also some heavy shipbaiting with Zuko: I save you from the pirates. The betrothal necklace. June and her excellent shipping taste. But in the end they are enemies, they barely know each other and, come on, it would be too dark and intriguing! There is no real threat against friends to lovers Kat*ang, the soft heart of the story. It’s very straightforward and there are a lot of simple “the hero saves the day” scenes for Aang but that’s fine! It’s not really my kind of ship but that’s not the point, it works for the story they want to tell.

End of Book 1.

In my - probably harsh- opinion, everything you really need to know about the Kat*ang relationship has been told by this point. If you want to be really mean, already by Book 1, episode 3.

That explains maybe why many (not all! but many) pro-KA arguments sound as if their shippers have not watched Book 2 and 3 at all. The Book 1 synopsis also perfectly sums up Bry*ke’s quote above. But then Book 2 and 3 are still there and I don’t know what happened but it seems as if they somehow decided that the Kat*ang story does not need any new and lasting input. Maybe because they were afraid that too much new development and change would stray too far away from their original Kat*ang vision. But there are still 2 more books and more adventures and Kat*ang somehow has to be kept apart until the finale.

So the tension in their potential romance is based largely on the question whether or not Katara will return Aang’s feelings. In general I don’t have a problem with that will-she-won’t she-technique. It works well in books where the love interest is not a POV or in shows/ movies where the love interest is not one of the main characters. But Katara is not only the female lead but also arguably the narrative voice of the whole story! As a result, this kind of writing makes Katara look as if she doesn’t have any agency in their relationship, which is not surprisingly a very popular anti-KA criticism.

Additionally, since her dream - learning waterbending - has been fulfilled by the end of Book 1, the relationship work becomes a bit one-sided. Of course Aang is the hero and his journey is the heart of the story. But in order to highlight their special connection it would have helped to give Katara another personal agenda, which Aang could have supported in some way. She is still the last Southern Waterbender and he the Last Airbender but this is not really explored in the Kat*ang relationship. And her other personal agenda, her mother, is already reserved for the Zutara arc.

Instead, in Book 2 and 3 the Kat*ang story is somehow all over the place. Of course there is new conflict and a few romantic scenes as well. But obstacles are either introduced too late or just dropped when not needed anymore, conflict is not resolved and their flirty, romantic moments never lead anywhere- and if they do, they lead to more conflict that is not resolved (yes, I am looking at you, EIP Kiss!).

Take for example Katara’s very sudden argument that they cannot be together now because there is a war going on. We hear her saying that for the first time in the very last episode (EIP) before the 4-part finale. That is too late to have any impact! That she has these kinds of thoughts was never even alluded to before. Not once.

Or the pattern Aang runs away/ is flaky - Katara is upset - Aang comes back and does his hero thing - Katara is relieved. In regards to their relationship arc, nothing changes here between Book 1 and the finale, only the stakes for Aang’s heroic performances get higher.

Or Katara being the one who is able to calm Aang down when he cannot control the Avatar state (which, in my personal opinion, is neither romantic nor healthy). This is also connected to the problem with the seventh Chakra, that Aang needs to let go of his attachment for her. I will be angry forever with how they wasted this for a possible relationship development! That Aang has to decide to either do his duty or save his forever girl (because let’s be fair, he did try to let go and only ran when he had the vision of Katara in danger) - that’s a fantastic setup!

But no, it doesn’t have any real consequences for Kat*ang at all. Instead there were only half-baked attempts – Aang does lie about his failed practice with Guru Pathik but the ultimate reason why his chakra is blocked is Azula, not his decision to run. Aang does try to let go of Katara for a little bit but then Azula shoots him. Nothing in Book 3 shows any change in his feelings that could have been a result of his instant let-it-go. If anything, he gets weirdly obsessive - which could have been used as a side effect of his blocked chakra but – again, no, nothing happens.

I suspect the whole thing was just introduced to create temporary drama for poor Aang, but it is never explained why Katara holds him back, what aspect of the attachment is blocking him or what would happen if he did let her go. Maybe they tried to make a statement about how love is more important than Avatar rules – which would have been fine but it’s also never properly explored. Instead, as soon as that plot point becomes inconvenient it’s simply dropped like a random rock™.

Compare all that to the Zutara arc, where both characters’ feelings about each other are always very much in the open, and where every interaction causes lasting effects in their relationship. Yes, it is unfair to compare that to Kat*ang, because up to the end of Book 3, Zuko and Katara almost never meet, while Aang and Katara spend almost every episode together – of course they cannot do meaningful things all the time. But on the other side, with Kat*ang, there would have been a great chance to show a subtle, gradual build-up instead.

It also doesn’t help that the Zutara arc seems hellbent on sabotaging every romantic moment Aang is allowed to enjoy:

There is Kat*angs first maybe-kiss in the dark before the background of the Oma and Shu legend. But it does not lead anywhere. Instead, Zuko and Katara almost reenact the legend itself in the Book 2 finale as two real enemies to almost-friends, including a glowy rocks-backdrop and the right costume colours, just so nobody misses the message.

In Footloose The Headband, Aang and Katara have a really sweet dance together, and everybody can see how they almost intuitively know each other's moves. This could be a great hint on how well they will fight together in the finale. But is it plot-relevant? No, because the final tag team is Katara and Zuko! While Aang gets paired off with random rock™.

Then there is Aang’s riding off to battle- kiss in DotBS, which Katara is not even allowed to enjoy, because keeping her feelings vague is apparently more important than character development at this point. It is the only romantic moment that gets mentioned again, but in a way that sinks the former cute and wholesome ship into the deep ocean, and the reason is - Aang is jealous of Zuko!

If all of this was only done for the sake of shipbaiting, then it really went out of control at some point.

In the end, the showrunners still had their reasons to choose Kat*ang, maybe because that corresponded more to their own vision, and there are still enough people out there who agree with them. Which is absolutely fine! In the end, what matters most is how you personally connect to the characters and nobody needs to defend their personal taste. But the typical anti-ZK claim, that all the Zutarians with their crazy analysis and rambling meta essays are reaching and delusional and that they desperately try to construct something that isn’t there, is not only a very lazy argument but simply not true.

And I’d claim that in spite of the canon choice, Zutara is technically the better written relationship. By far.

[gyroshrike]

Tell me why you love Gamtav; give me a whole rambling essay if you can. I like seeing people excited over the things and ships they like!

Oh, are you sure you want this? Do you really want to open Pandora's Box? Are you ready for the amount of rambling I can do about GamTav? How much time do you have? Because this is going to be a doozy. I haven't even started writing it and I can tell.

And before I get into it, people gotta know that most of this is based off of pre-murderstuck Gamzee

What do I like about GamTav? What do I like about GamTav??? One of the things that plays into me loving this ship so much is how much I love Gamzee and Tavros as individuals. Whenever I start reading a new piece of media, without question my favorite characters are almost always the really, really nice ones. Boku no Hero Academia? Kirishima. Anohana? Poppo. Legend of Korra? Bolin. And in the beginning of Homestuck, Gamzee and Tavros are just really, really NICE.

Oh, well, Gamzee is really, really nice. When we first see Tavros, he’s being a little shit to the kids, but that's because he was intentionally trying to troll. But once we get into Act 5 and we see Tavros interact with his friends, we realize he's generally a really kind person. His conversations with Nepeta, Gamzee and Aradia are all really sweet. His pesterlog with Vriska, which is the first one we get to see after he is revealed to us as a character, immediately paints a picture of him as someone struggling with his self-esteem and someone who is trying really hard to build himself up as a person. Way to fuckin’ endear me to a character IMMEDIATELY.

For most of the early comic until Act 5, we see all the trolls trolling the kids and even talking shit back and forth to each other. Gamzee was one of the first trolls who we see be purely sweet and supportive to his friends. His first pesterlog after we’re introduced to him is with Karkat and Karkat does nothing but talk shit. xD He does his usual song and dance of saying just the absolute worst things possible in that Karkat way of his and Gamzee just laughs and nods and basically says, “Yeah brother, you go, I love you, you're my best friend.”

We see Gamzee talk with Equius and we already know at this point that Equius is weird, but Gamzee is so jazzed to be talkin’ with his friend. He's just so supportive of Equius and even when Equius tells Gamzee that he must stop doing soper, Gamzee just says, “Okay, sure, you got it, I trust what you're telling me because you're my friend.” Now Equius is not actually ready for Gamzee to listen to him and backtracks and is like, “Wait, no, you don't have to listen to me, let's roleplay instead,” and Gamzee's like, “I don't know how to roleplay, but I'll try for you bro.” He’s just really fucking cute???

Short version: When we meet them, Tavros is someone you want to root for and Gamzee is just the nicest guy on the planet.

Gamzee loves his friends so much and from early on it's made apparent that he wants to love and support them, and would honestly do a lot for them even if he doesn't know what he's doing.

Also along with just being a generally sweet guy Tavros is the nerd archetype I love? He loves the troll equivalent of Pokemon and card games and other things like that. Also he just really loves animals? And I always love the characters who love animals. It's a really big weakness I have. Not to mention, talking with them? That's so COOL? So badass??? Like, UM???? He could control them, but he doesn't like forcing them to do bad things against their will. (Going off of how when suggested he control the imps to defeat them, but feels like that would be unfair/mean.)

SPEAKING OF THE IMPS. Of the twelve trolls, Tavros and Gamzee are the two of them who BEFRIENDED their imps. Isn't that so fucking rad????? They both started off fighting them at first, but then they both later mention that they are able to chill with their imps instead. Gamzee shares pie with them and Tavros communicates with them using his powers. I freaking LOVE that parallel. When I first noticed it I almost keeled over. See, I'm also a sucker for characters who like to attempt peace before conflict, so of course I'm going to love that both of them made friends instead of enemies.

So Act 5 Homestuck has already set me up to basically completely love these two characters. Now, I am a really big shipper. In almost every piece of media I go into I generally come out with ships and that's a big way that I engage with fandom. Now Homestuck, I actually didn't ship that much at first when I first started reading, which is pretty strange for me. I think I just kind of let the ships fall into my lap up until that point. I know my brain had really enjoyed the ideas of Karkat and Terezi, Dave and Terezi, and had even teased inklings of "What if?" and "Oh, I like them," about Rose and Kanaya. But for the most part I wasn't really into Homestuck for shipping at first.

The concept of GamTav, or PBJ as it was more commonly referred to then, was introduced to me by my friends. I had two irl friends who were reading the comic with me and they were ahead of me by some decent amount of pages at the time. At one point they started making references to PBJ and really liking PBJ and I was a little confused because I didn't quite know what they were referring to at first. I learned pretty soon that PBJ was Gamzee and Tavros and I remember being really excited for the ship because it was the first time I'd seen my friends get that excited for a ship. Which is really funny because now in the twilight years of the Homestuck fandom, of the three of us, I'm the only one gripping white-knuckled onto GamTav and breathing it like my life depends on it, while the other two have moved on to much different things. If I'm being honest, I'm pretty sure one of them doesn't even really like Gamzee that much anymore, but respects how much I love him and lets me rant and rave to her about him whenever I want.

It wasn't long after that that I finally got to the infamous "Make out a little" conversation between Gamzee and Tavros. I read the pesterlog and suddenly everything I had seen and heard from my friends made sense. I mean, not that I'm saying that's the ONLY reason GamTav makes sense. I just mean I understood what my friends specifically were talking about. Of the pesterlogs we've seen between them before that, Gamzee and Tavros obviously had a decent friendship. I'm pretty sure in the comic Gamzee was the first person to have a pesterlog with Tavros who is genuinely nice to him. (And this is conversation happens directly after Tavros’ conversation with Vriska, so it’s a wild contrast.) So as a friendship, I was already super down with Gamzee and Tavros-- you know what? Now that I think about it, I feel like I remember in [S] Make Her Pay being disappointed that Gamzee and Tavros were fighting alone and not with each other. Because a lot of the other trolls had paired up to be cool duos, you know? We had Karkat and Terezi, Feferi and Sollux, Nepeta and Equius, and I think I remember being bummed that Gamzee and Tavros weren't paired up. So I, at the very least, think I wanted things for these two even if I hadn't stepped into the realm of actually shipping them yet. I don't remember, this was YEARS ago.

Anyway, the infamous makeout conversation happens, and I'm sold hard for life. I have a lot of other Homestuck ships that I'm into and I enjoy, but none have ever, ever, ever, ever come close to GamTav.

I realize that I've written so much and I still haven't gotten to the meat of why I like them.

So I like ships where the parties involved are best friends. I love it when the characters in a ship are bros who love hanging out, who love doing silly things together. That awesome video "What your favorite Homestuck ship says about you" had me dead to rights. Called me out so hard. My ideal ship dynamic is "being stupid together"? Way to come for the throat. That's exactly it. At their core, Gamzee and Tavros are one of the funnest bro combinations I have ever seen. And what makes them so fun is both of them are huge dorks. HUGE dorks.

When we first meet Gamzee, he stares off into the colors of his miracle modus while making the most ridiculous face, tries to unicycle but just fuckin' pieruettes right off if it because his legs are too short, and just straight up reaches into his modus with his bare hands. Don't even get me started on how he scares himself with his own horns. That shit kills me.

We've already talked about how Tavros is a huge nerd, so that's covered. But like… have you heard him rap? This guy just gets so into it and has so much fun while simultaneously sounding so silly. He's flirty and awkward and ridiculous and has this shit eating grin on all the time.

They are those two friends who get up to shenanigans where everyone else around them just kind of shakes their head and thinks that they're so dumb (in an affectionate way), but they don't care because all they DO care about is how much fun they're having together.

One of my favorite things about Homestuck in general is it lets its characters be bad at things. John and Karkat suck at coding. Gamzee, Tavros, and Dave are bad at rapping. Rose becomes a prolific author, but I would argue she's bad at writing when she's 13 because, wow is it a slog to get through her wizard fanfiction LMAO.

And GamTav is a perfect example of two people who just have fun together being bad at things together. There's no pretense of needing to be cool or needing to be good at something or any type of shame or embarrassment. They're just so silly and they don't mind being silly around each other and they never make the other person ashamed of who they are. We even see some of that last bit in the comic. Gamzee never puts Tavros down. In one conversation, he acknowledges Tavros' disability, but doesn't taunt Tavros for it, doesn't make it a joke, or make him feel bad. It's just acknowledged and then they move on. Then Tavros mentions that while he doesn't share Gamzee's religious or spiritual views, he is supportive of them. I am such a sucker for shit like that.

In every way, shape, and form, Gamzee and Tavros are supportive of each other and just and totally uplift the other person. Both of these characters go through so much verbally (both jokingly and maliciously) at the hands of their peers for being who they are that Gamzee and Tavros' conversations were so refreshing to just see them be unabashedly themselves with another person.

And they make each other happy! Tavros' first conversation with Gamzee was the first time we see where Tavros is purely elated to be talking to the person he is talking to. And Tavros obviously makes Gamzee really happy. They just make each other so happy! And I love that shit!

Gamzee is, without restraint, supportive of everything that is Tavros. Gamzee is the type of person who would look at anything Tavros wants to do or is trying to do and put his whole heart in supporting Tavros and telling him, "Yeah bro, you can do this, you're amazing, I love you, go get 'em, you're the best, you can do anything you put your mind to,” and I love that for Tavros.

Gamzee was the friend I spent all of Homestuck wishing Tavros had. Tavros spent so much time talking to Vriska, interacting with Vriska, adventuring with Vriska. And that entire time I was just wishing that Gamzee was there instead, just so Tavros would have someone to be nice to him.

After murderstuck, I spent years waiting for Gamzee and Tavros to meet in a dream bubble. That was all I wanted. I wanted Gamzee to have to look Tavros in the eye and face what he had done, own up to everything to the person he loved most in the world. But of course, post murderstuck, Gamzee gets everything stripped away from him that made him the character he was in the beginning. It wasn't even a satisfying villain arc! It was just confusing! I feel like I could have dealt with it if Gamzee was a well-rounded villain. But instead his entire villain shtick was just surrounded by a bunch of question marks! I spent all of Homestuck waiting to learn what exactly was going on with Gamzee and then we never got that and that fucked me up.

And of course, oh, of course, up until the very end of the series, in the very, very, very last animation we ever see, Homestuck Act 7, Tavros is standing by Vriska's side, as he has had to do since the very beginning.

I haven't read the epilogues or Homestuck 2, so I'm not going to touch on anything that happens in those series and I would appreciate it if no one responded to this with spoilers. Don't even tell me things like, "Oh, you'll like Gamzee," or "Oh, you'll hate Gamzee," or anything like that. I don't want any hints. I already got enough. I want to form my own opinion when I finally get the energy to go in.

Nowadays, I stick almost exclusively to humanstuck AU's for my GamTav. Because even if canon GamTav wasn't so sad and depressing, there are other things that make me way too sad to think about. As a bronze blood, Tavros's lifespan is going to be significantly shorter than Gamzee's. No matter the good or bad context surrounding their relationship. Even if they were the perfect, fluffy, happy couple in canon, I can't deal with that lifespan difference. It breaks my goddamn heart.

I live in a world where I can rewrite the circumstances surrounding these characters and make it play out in a way that is much more to my liking. Writing them in humanstuck AU's lets me take away all of the things that make my heart hurt and instead repurpose them for really meaningful, emotional character building arcs and that's my main focus when it comes to GamTav.

Something I'm also really picky with when it comes to this ship is that I need the core of Gamzee and Tavros' character growth to happen apart from each other. I have found that I don't like stories that center Gamzee and Tavros or their relationship as the pivotal point of their development. I don't like when Gamzee is the pillar of Tavros' confidence. I do like when Gamzee helps out building Tavros' confidence by being supportive and saying nice things and encouraging him, but I don't like it when he is the main source. I don't want Tavros' growth to be hinged on Gamzee being in his life.

The same goes for Gamzee. I don't like stories where Tavros is the one thing keeping Gamzee from doing bad things. I don't like when their relationship is framed as being the one thing keeping Gamzee from going murder mode all over his friends again. I've read fics where Gamzee struggles either with murderous instincts as a troll or mental health as a human and Tavros is one of the only things that keeps him from going off the deep end. I don't like that. I want Gamzee's growth to be primarily on his own or at the very least not supported by his romantic partner. Of course, I love it when Tavros is there when he needs him to hold him or soothe him or say kind things or help him through his struggles. I'm not saying I don't want Tavros to comfort him at all or ever, I just don't want Tavros to be his sole anchor.

I just love idiot best friends in love.

Oh, OH! ALSO. Gamzee doesn’t give a FUCK about the hemospectrum. One of the first things he says to Equius is how he doesn’t get it, how he’s not better than anyone else, how he doesn’t even know how to ACT better than anyone else. How am I not supposed to love that?

Opposite sides of the hemospecturm relationships are so fun. I love the idea of Gamzee entering a room full of strangers and them being like “Oh no! :O !!!! Scary subjuggulator!!” and Tavros comes rushing over all happy and excited and they just snuggle all cute and gross and everyone watching’s jaw just drops.

This might sound weird, but I also think one of the things that endear me to characters is them getting misinterpreted and then me having fun drawing them more ‘accurately’? Tavros is so often depicted as uwu soft weepy boi and I love drawing him with a mischievous grin just as ready to do something stupid and get himself into trouble as Gamzee is. Equius TOLD Tavros not to go near the stairs with his new robo legs. What is one of the things Tavros does immediately? Go try the fuckin’ stairs. And he KEEPS DOING IT.

*lays down on the floor* I just… I just want domestic GamTav where they move into a nice wheelchair accessible home (modified in a similar way to Tavros' hive in Pesterquest) and Gamzee massages Tav's back when it aches and tells him he's the light of his life and in turn Tavros holds Gamzee close on his darker days and Tavros kisses his hands and brushes his hair out of his eyes and boops his nose and they laugh so hard together that they cry.

[procrastinatorproject]

Fic writer review, thank you to @thelaithlyworm  for the tag <3

how many works do you have on AO3?

Ten? Oh no, it’s actualy 12 now!

what’s your total AO3 word count?

86,468

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Grand total of 1: Star Trek: Picard - although my latest offering might branch a bit into other Trek as well.

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

“Passengers”

“And a Barrel of Gagh”

“CMO’s Log”

“Preparations”

“Game Night”

Which is actually kinda interesting. I wrote Passengers, Preparations, and Game Night while the fandom was still a lot more active (especially in the Aramis in Space corner), so that makes sense. The CMO’s log has had chapters added every few months, giving it probably the most exposure of any of my fics. Barrel of Gagh, though? I think I’m gonna attribute that to Thimblerig turning it into a truly, TRULY brilliant piece of podfic. Also the fact that it’s whump involving a character played by Santiago Cabrera. ‘tis A Thing..... :D

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try to! I love talking with people in the comments and just... thanking the people who found the time and energy to leave comments. But especially in the last few months I have gotten very bad at keeping up with the comments and now there’s about two dozen that I have neglected to reply to for a painfully long time 🙈

But I will get there! Because I love that kind of interaction!

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

So far, none of them have had angsty endings. Angsty middles, yes, but not endings. I’m just a sucker for everyone being happy in the end. Or at least on the way to being better, and supported and cared for on that way.

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t yet, but I’m definitely not opposed. One of the threads of my 200k unpublishable whump scenes takes place in a continuity that has existed in my daydreams for... I wanna say six years at the very least, probably longer. It’s mostly straight-up Star Trek, but with the twist that it involves the Wraith, the telepathic, hive-minded alien race from Stargate: Atlantis that suck the life force out of you with their hands? Or, well, at least a variation thereof.

I once typed up the world building for that particular setting and it took me three hours to try and make it all make sense. So it’s... involved. But not necessarily “crazy”. And I’m not sure I’m ever actually going to publish any of the stories I have set in it (not least because that would envolve finishing any of them and bringing them into a form that is interesting to read for anyone but me...)

have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope.

do you write smut? if so what kind?

Hm, not yet. I do enjoy reading smut, but only under very specific circumstances. I think I may eventually try my hand at smut, but the inner prude is still very strong. Writing about Rios and Xyr making out (which, honestly, was really tame, all things considered) made me melt in a puddle of blushing embarrassment, so full-on smut is probably beyond me at the moment. One day!

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Though litigating that in a fandom like ours would be... tricky. ST:Pic is way too small to steal stories outright. But similar or the same ideas pop up all the time. And it’s a complete coincidence. Reading the book that recently came out and that has a kinda similar setting to a lot of my stories (pre-season 1, early in Rios’s history as captain of Sirena, dealing with original characters, holo shenanigans, friendship with Raffi, etc.), I was struck by just how many elements, both scenes or story beats and little details, were similar to things that have cropped up in my writing. And it is entirely coincidental, because I am beyond certain that the author doesn’t read fanfic. Just... for legal reasons. Not to mention I wrote a bunch of the things I saw parallels to while the book was already in production, and some of them are only in my drafts.

So there is a ton of convergent evolution going on in this particular section of the fandom, and trying to litigate who came up with certain plot ideas or character beats when would be a sysiphean disaster. Some things are clear and whenever I use any of them I give credit where I can, but people will have very similar ideas. It just happens. So no, I haven’t had either a full-on story or “an idea” stolen, and I might change my tune if it ever does happen, but so far, I’m trying to practice equanimity, so I’ll be better at it should I ever need it.

have you ever had a fic translated?

Sadly no. My dad keeps complaining that all my fic is in English so he can’t read any of it, but honestly? I’m kinda glad for this very convenient excuse. Maybe if I ever feel like I want to practice my interpreting skills, I will give translating the stories into German a shot. We’ll see. Otherwise, if anyone feels inspired: Have at it! Just let me know, okay?

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not quite. I have a draft of off-the-cuff worldbuilding that I wrote on Discord with @curator-on-ao3 and that I would love to turn into an actual short fic (letters from a conference on holo-ethics), but I haven’t gotten around to it yet.

what’s your all time favorite ship?

I don’t really do shipping.

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I WILL NEVER ACCEPT DEFEAT!!!! One day, I will write the next installment of Star Trek: La Sirena! I have so many ideas for that continuity and those characters. I’m not going to abandon them!

what are your writing strengths?

Hmmmmm. Probably detailed worldbuilding? Ask me something about, say, a technological or cultural aspect of Star Trek and chances are, I have thought about it in the past or will come up with three different sets of intricate lore within half an hour. (Things like... the architecture of San Francisco, or Will there still be taxi drivers? or the treaty between IKEA Intergalactic and the Borg Collective, or the Universal Translator, or Emergency Services or Why There Are Very Few Ambulances On Earth Anymore etceterah etceterah...)

I’m also good at slapping together off-the-cuff plot ideas (if, say, you need an explanation for how Seven and Agnes ended up stranded on a desert island, I could probably give you three different scenarios pretty quickly. Just don’t ask me to make them poignant or actually write them.

I’m also very, very good at beginnings.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Everything that isn’t a beginning. Especially endings, or rather: finishing something, but also just... keeping momentum.

I think my dialogue is somewhat samey and not distinct enough between characters. (Also my witty banter is... let’s just say it doesn’t come to me naturally...)

And I also struggle with keeping things brief and to the point. I can write you 30k of whump covering a span of three hours, but fitting a whole story in the same space? Much more difficult!

I have also avoided writing full-on action so far, but where it has crept in it has always been a struggle and been workshopped a lot with the indefatigable beta.

Otherwise, I don’t know. My self-perception is always a little warped, so I’m not sure what other people would say my weaknesses are.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Oof. Well. I have used Spanish sentences in my fic and done the thing where they’re translated in the end note, but I’ve mostly done it sparingly. I’ve also done the ‘“What do you want?” he said in Spanish.’ It’s tricky. But I will likely keep doing it in some instances, even if it’s a bit annoying.

(It also really helps to have a native speaker of Spanish as a beta, even if it’s Spanish from a different region than you’re character.)

Speaking of regional: I’m also torn about the whole “phonetically writing out accents” issue. Some people love it, some people hate it, I’m really unsure because I’m not a native speaker of English, so I’m not even sure I’m consistent in my narrative voice’s regional quirks. So far, I’ve mostly gone with describing that an accent is happening, and only writing out when phrasing actually differs from standard English. Like Ian (Scottish) saying “dinnae” but not writing “I” as “ah” as you’d see on, say, Scottish twitter.

Though it can be a very useful tool if, for instance, you want to indicate a characters accent getting stronger as they get tired or upset. 🧐

Anyway, I don’t think there is one right or wrong answer here and everyones milage will vary.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Published? ST:PIC

Actually first? Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. Pretty much simultaneously, though I did write more for LotR. On graph paper, mind, with my fountain pen turned upside down so I could write smaller. I still have folders worth of those stories that I urgently need to digitize before they fade and I lose them forever...

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I’m going to quote @thelaithlyworm here: I Love All My Children Equally! I honestly couldn’t say. They are different and I love them for different reasons but I love them all.

Thank you for the tag! ❤ I’ve kinda lost track of who all has done this already or has already been tagged, so feel free to ignore me! But I tink I’m tagging @curator-on-ao3, @aini-nufire, @29-pieces, @flowers-creativity, @highfunctioningflailgirl, @cristobalrios and @the-goofball. And anyone else whom I forgot or who feels inspired to do this!

[veliseraptor]

top 5 brotps?

oh boy let’s see here. okay okay okay okay. the hard one here is like...do I include things where I also ship them non-platonically?? and I decided to go with “fine to do so but it’s gotta be things where the primary interest is brotpdom”

1. Thor & Loki. Look, I had to. I just...there’s a lot there, there’s a lot there, a lot of it alarmingly personal and emotionally fraught for me personally, and I have accepted that about myself and it is still very true. The pain and love and dysfunction, all of it blown up to very dramatic levels - way beyond what would be “reasonable” obviously because these are characters written to be larger than life - and yet still recognizable to me in...yeah, alarmingly personal ways.

Never forget the long conversation I had with a couple friends about my childhood that ended with “no wonder you like Loki so much.” And a lot of why I like Loki so much? Has a lot to do with his relationship with Thor.

2. Jiang Cheng & Wei Wuxian. Get into a show for the gay, come out if it with a new pair of (martial) siblings, is my motto. Here we have not only the deep feelings and dysfunction going on, the relationship rupture that’s deep and difficult and ugly, but also the sheer ambiguity of their relationship to each other and what its status is, and the way that their mutual dysfunctions align perfectly to make everything between them even more dysfunctional.

I love a pair where both people are equally but differently fucked up and how that plays into the way they relate to each other and that is so much about Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng. They’re a mess and I love them.

3. Felix Harrowgate & Mildmay. What’s a brotp that doesn’t involve undertones of incest, or overtones of, actually, though some of that is the sublimated connection between love and sex in Felix’s head and anyway, I love these two, they’re having a horrible time all of the time and are often very miserable and honestly, I just have a thing for codependent siblings who mean a lot to each other while simultaneously having an excruciatingly fucked up relationship, which fits these two to a T. And just! The arc of their relationship, too!

Sarah Monette gave me, specifically, a gift with these two and their relationship arc and I’m never going to be over it.

4. Celegorm & Curufin. The terrible twosome! Two brothers who love each other very much and are also not particularly good influences on each other! But who needs a good influence when you have love and a fucked up family legacy you’re trying to live up to?

Anyway I’m always on some level up in my Celegorm and Curufin feelings and particularly how I think about their relationship developing over the course of The Silmarillion and becoming both more codependent and more strained over time. They do everything together! Including, eventually, die.

And thinking about them is making me want to write Silm fic again. No, Lise, that’s the devil talking.

5. This one was harder because it’s less obvious to me another that’s, like, on this level? But ultimately I decided to go with a current fandom one and do Mu Qing & Xie Lian. Which is kind of an outlier because their relationship is not really like others on this list! It’s closest to Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian’s in some ways, but it’s very different - the status differential, for one, is an even greater factor and stress point between these two than it is with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng. And their relationship is...it spends more time being bad (or at least, not great) than it does being good. But I just...it is important to me, in its messiness (yes, again!) and its dysfunction (again!) and the ways in which Xie Lian knows Mu Qing very well, and values him, and the ways that Mu Qing both resents and cares deeply about Xie Lian.

This is one of those archetypal relationships for me, too, where I’m like but I want more because there is more, I want to know where they go post-canon, where they leave things at the end of TGCF proper is just a beginning.

Anyway this relationship is important to me and I wish people would do more with it in fic, obligatory plug for @curiosity-killed’s fic the reel of this life.

but this is of course leaving off a whole bunch of other possibilities, among which I could consider He Xuan and Hua Cheng, Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao (when it’s not Xue Yang/Jin Guangyao), almost all my Black Jewels Trilogy feelings, any number of dynamics where I’m not picky about form it takes but just like the character interactions...

it is funny to me that this list of brotps is characterized by three actual sibling relationships, one martial sibling relationship, and one outlier. I really went literal here, didn’t I.

[twilightofthe]

What was your opinion of the Clovis arc? People I know either love it or hate it, no in between. I generally liked it but found it waayyy ooc.

Hey anon, thanks for the ask!!!!

AHSJFLSLALK OK SO UH. Wow. Clovis arc. Yiiiiiiikes ok so. I totally agree with you on the fandom divide and I also totally agree that everyone involved in it is rather OOC for my taste. That being said, that case of OOC is exactly why I personally do not like the arc that much at all.

(Please note that my following words are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS, and that anyone is free to disagree, in fact I welcome the discussion, and even if this is your favorite arc, please consider yourself welcome on my blog I hold nothing against those who might like it)

Part of me was gonna make a short and sweet point about how I don’t like that TCW has had both of its main female characters have unwanted kisses forced on them, and instead of teaching young girls watching to tell those kinds of people to fuck off and respect their bodies, we get: 1. Just let it happen, you both must kinda like each other anyway or 2. Stay still then sit back while your boyfriend beats him half to death

But actually turns out I wanted to spend all day writing an essay so now you get this. So far I’m gonna hit four points:

the show’s constant need for Vader foreshadowing sometimes tending to completely override Anakin’s current mindset and personality he should have at this point in the timeline as well as his preestablished characterization

the way TCW gave Anakin a giant dosage of toxic masculinity to try and please the pissy movie critics who didn’t like that he cried

the role of Padmé and how TCW tries to portray her as a “strong woman” by just having her constantly be irritated by and sometimes even look like she actively dislikes her husband while simultaneously have her act OOC so they can blame HER and her actions for Anakin’s reactions and anger and overall Fall

How I think this arc is not irredeemable and that with some fixes it could be done decently— decently, not well, because a lot of this arc’s problems are also due to preexisting writing choices throughout the show

(Ok whoops this turned into a half Clovis arc rant half entire TCW Anidala commentary)

So firstly I wanna start that yes, I am fully aware that TCW is meant to fill in the gaps between AOTC and ROTS and help explain why Anakin’s mindset in the final movie is what it is and justify his Fall. Of course we need to show some Vader foreshadowing throughout the series, and in some places it is executed very well, notably the Mortis arc, the Bad Batch arc, the Wrong Jedi arc, as well as others that I can’t cite off the top of my head currently because I might have a mild touch of heat exhaustion wooo I need to get off the beach.

But it also has some rather hamfisted Vader foreshadowing stuff too. Like, y’all know the fandom joke where it’s like “Anakin: *Accidentally Leaves The Toilet Seat Up*. The Background Music: *BLASTS the Imperial March*” but like, they actually really do that. Like the time where they have Anakin take out a terrorist about to blow up an entire ship full of people and then play the Imperial March afterwards and imply he’s a “cold-blooded killer” just to defend the moral purity of the two people who were gonna stand there and let the ship blow in the name of idealism.

I’m getting off topic but yeah, sometimes the show’s Vader foreshadowing makes sense, sometimes it’s pretty forced, and the Clovis arc DEFINITELY leans towards the forced side, and when they try to force more of Darth Vader into Anakin at a point where he shouldn’t quite be there yet, it screws with his entire character.

This is particularly shown in the majority of the show’s takes on Anakin’s relationship with Padmé. Namely, they tend to forget nearly the entirety of AOTC with the exception of the Tusken murder scene, then forget even more of ROTS up until the point where Anakin strangles her on Mustafar. Basically, they take the truth that it was Anakin’s unhealthy attachment to Padmé that sparked his Fall, but then they decide to run with it where almost every single interaction he has with her in the damn show is him being a toxic overbearing dick to her and her acting like she mildly tolerates him at most and definitely doesnt respect him as like, I guess a way of showing what happened on Mustafar is in character for them???? Ugh, I’ll explain further.

So with Anakin’s aggressive possessiveness towards her. We know Anakin has possession and attachment issues. We know he’s a clingy needy whiny anxious mess who’s constantly afraid of losing or driving away the few people he has pinned his entire happiness on. We know he leans unhealthily on Padmé to provide the majority of his emotional support. We know he’s convinced himself he can’t live without her. But never, NEVER is it seen in the movies where his possessiveness turns into outward aggression towards her or this douchey pushiness. Never does he treat her like his property, like she belongs to him.

Not until Mustafar.

Not until he’s raving, half out of his mind with the warring emotions over the atrocities he’s just committed, until he’s begging her to understand where he was coming from, begging her and the child to stay with him and justify his decision, until he sees Obi Wan and sees her backing away from him, leaving him, and he PANICS because oh no no no you can’t abandon me, I need you, doN’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME. And he lashes out and tries to force her to stay, punish her for leaving and doubting him, and he puts that hand around her throat.

And that is supposed to be when we know he’s crossed the line, when we’re supposed to be horrified, where we know he’s lost himself, because he has NEVER ACTED LIKE THAT BEFORE.

Now how does Anakin act before? In the movies? He’s deferential to Padmé in almost every other scene they’re in together.

In AOTC, yeah he stares at her a bit creepily from a distance, he says awkward things and does goofy stuff to impress her, but he does Not get in her face. The few times he does invade her space, she flat out tells him: stand back. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t say that. Don’t interrupt me. And Anakin always, always backs off, respects her wishes. He follows her lead and lets her call the shots both on Naboo when he’s supposed to be protecting her and when she organizes the Geonosis rescue and once they arrive where she flat out tells him “I’m a Senator, I’ll handle this, just back me up”, and he’s all but just “ok yes queen”.

But they aren’t married then. Fine, take ROTS. It’s a movie all about Anakin’s issues but even then, when he’s worried about Padmé dying, he tells her he’s worried and that he can’t lose her, but he still keeps a distance. He doesn’t constantly hover and loom over her. If anything, Padmé, both in ROTS and AOTC is always the one to approach Anakin and close the distance when there’s conflict. When Anakin is upset, he averts his eyes and distances himself, tries to draw in on himself and brood silently, and we’ve seen it in Palpatine sometimes (of course with bad motives but he still does), but Obi Wan and Padmé both especially needing to be the ones to come over, turn his face to them and be like “hey, look at me, I care about you, what’s wrong”. Padmé SAYS in ROTS when he’s feeling specifically conflicted about losing Padmé, “don’t shut me out” and has to come over to him because he’s retreated into a corner of the room to scowl angstily out the window. Anakin does NOT get overbearing and possessive of her or get in her face, not once in the films.

In the fucking show? The Clovis arc, while perhaps the worst offender, isn’t even close to being the first time Anakin has been overly pushy and aggressive with Padmé, or acting like she’s something he owns, From that time in the Senate Hostage ep where he’s bugging her about ditching work and all but acting like incels texting like “awww but babe my dick hurts :(”, from the FIRST Clovis disaster ep where he’s childishly trying to screw up Padmé’s mission, to the Clovis arc in season 6

And this is where they just roll right in with their “oh so Anakin’s an overbearing, entitled douche” bit with the interaction he has with Pads and he’s trying to talk her out of taking the Clovis assignment and he says something along the lines of “as your husband, I demand you don’t do this”.

Hwat. The Fuck.

What kind of caveman-esque, 1800’s-ass man of the house whom my wife must obediently serve kinda entitled-ass BULLSHIT?!?!?!?

Like, I’m sorry, I really am, but that is just completely out of left field and not like Anakin at all. I mean to the point that when he’s an evil Sith Lord trying to talk her into taking over the galaxy with him, EVEN THEN he does not include “Padmé you must join me because I’m your husband and you do as I say” sort of domineering assholerly.

Anakin does not push Padmé around. He does not TRY to assert authority over her or try and force her to do shit. Not only because she doesn’t put up with that kinda shit for a second, but because Anakin respects Padmé; he will treat her with respect. He always has, and sometimes like in this arc it really doesn’t feel like he does.

Now of course Padmé’s response to the “I own you” declaration is “fuck you, asshole, I do what I want” and doubling down on her decision, and then decides to go even harder on the mission if only to spite her douche husband (and we’ll get to Padmé’s characterization in a bit) which is a very different kind of Anidala conversation we see in the show as opposed to the movies (also discussed later).

Now, the reason for Anakin’s overbearing douchery ties directly into an overarching problem in TCW— honestly, one of the very few issues I have with this show, but the problem is that it touches nearly the entire thing —and that is they almost completely reworked Anakin’s personality to be more hyper-masculine alpha male.

This is a topic I’ve discussed on my blog before, but the gist is that in the movies, Anakin was not the typical male heroic protagonist and DEFINITELY not what people expected from Future Darth Vader The Masked Brutish Male Power Fantasy. He was awkward, he was shy, he was soft spoken, he was clumsy around the girl he liked, he was very openly romantic, he liked frolicking in fields and candlelit dinners and snuggling. Two of the most important people in his life were soft, feminine women and he openly loved them very dearly and very gently— and he deferred to them when he felt it was right, as I’ve mentioned before. He CRIED when he was upset and was messy and emotional. And fanboys hated this with a burning passion. They couldn’t project their power fantasy onto this!!!! The Anakin critics were a HUGE part of the mob who crucified the prequels to the point of chasing both Anakin actors practically out of the movie industry in general.

The Clone Wars writers were obviously petrified of this happening again. So their solution, as has always been Star Wars’s solution to hateful fans being upset about an innocent character, is to completely rework them, hide or retcon all the undesirable qualities, and act like everything was all fixed. Now don’t get me wrong, there are aspects of TCW Anakin that I adore. As I’ve also mentioned before, they got his humor, his cleverness, his eagerness to do the right thing, to help people, his relationship with Obi Wan and Ahsoka and his men, they got that all perfectly. But the rest??? TCW’s solution to the criticism of Movie!Anakin was to turn him into an agressive, dominant, violent shadow of everything “soft” he was in the movie

Now, he speaks loudly and more deeply. Now, he’s cocky and overconfident and while yes he was arrogant in the movies, now it’s dialed up to like an 11. He never cries, never even THINKS to show a negative emotion that’s not Manly Rage And Aggression(TM). And then there’s the way he is around the women in his life. No more awkwardness or shyness, now he makes jokes about being a “ladies man” and does whatever the fuck flirting he does with Miraj Scintel even though the Anakin from the movies would have needed like every scrap of his self control just to look at her without insta-murdering her face. And then there’s how he is with Ahsoka and Padmé. He is muuuuch more of a loud brash dudebro around them who pushes his weight and is kind of controlling and their solution is just to have the both of them be Strong Women(TM) who Fight Back whenever he tries it too hard with them.

With Ahsoka, it’s not too bad because it’s a brand new dynamic and she’s a rather agressive firecracker personality herself when we first meet her, so the constant Snips n’ Skyguy snipefest works for them. For Padmé? It just means that in far too many episodes they’re in there’s a point where Anakin says something Eh and Padmé gets mildly irritated to actually annoyed with him for it and she’ll talk down to him and then there’s an argument between them because he’s bullheaded and she’s a Strong Woman. Why do I consider these out of character?

In the movies, despite the flaws, Anidala is a couple who actually tries to communicate. Anakin feels open to speak about his troubles to Padmé and her to him (for the most part, she definitely has a savior complex and a tendency to squash her own shit so she can help deal with both Anakin’s and the galaxy’s at large) when they’re worried or concerned about something and they want to talk it out, so they’ll talk it out!

The problem with Anidala isn’t that they don’t communicate, it’s that they try but also only do it by halves because they hate fighting. They’ll talk, Anakin will say something that Padmé might disagree with— the fascism discussion in the Naboo field in AOTC, the question of whether the Republic is just or not in TPM —and she’ll try and correct him if she feels he’ll listen, but if he doubles down, she’ll go “ok you know what, agree to disagree, let’s not fight” and she subtly changes the subject because she hates fighting with him. If Pads says something Ani doesn’t like— telling Obi Wan about them in ROTS, some emotional advice she tries to give in both movies —he’ll flat out shut down and be like “I don’t want to talk about this, let’s drop it” and then seek out cuddles or affection as a distraction.

And that brings us back to the Clovis arc. The scene where the “as your husband” line occurs. Anakin is trying to talk Padmé out of doing this not because he’s jealous. Maybe he was jealous the first time he met Clovis and saw Padmé being all cute n’ fond with her old flame, but this time it seems almost entirely because last time ended in catastrophe and he’s genuinely worried for Padmé and feels she’s not thinking wisely, that she’s putting herself in danger.

However, Anakin is deciding to voice these concerns in Possessive Dudebro Pushing because of the aforementioned misguided Vader Foreshadowing and Toxic Masculinity. Padmé? Is not even CONSIDERING what he has to say, is just breezing on through and shutting him down at every turn and generally acting like he’s a dumbass who doesn’t have a clue about anything.

Now, it is very in character for Padmé Amidala to be all “I’m right, you’re wrong, fuck you don’t get in my way”. HOWEVER, they aren’t framing this as solely Padmé having a goal and bulldozing her way through the situation. That’s not how they frame this.

They frame this as: Padmé is embarrassed that she misjudged the situation wrong the last time and embarrassed even further that Anakin had to step in and get her out of trouble— which he brings up —and probably remembers that he made fun of her while he did it—

(Timing out to say that THAT scene was also OOC; they once more wanted a Vader parallel what with Anakin’s silhouette when he opens her cell door and the way Padmé’s sleeping pose is identical to Leia’s in ANH. But Anakin basically steps in and gives her this condescending-ass “awww the little wife’s gotten in over her head like I SAID she would, good thing I’m here to rescue her!” bit that’s really just MEAN. It’s not like him and Obi Wan’s/Ahsoka’s teasing snark whenever they have to pull each out of trouble, he’s just kicking her while she’s already down. Really, Anakin’s reaction should have been a lot less humorous and a lot more pissy; she didn’t listen to him, didn’t trust him, and ended up in danger because of it. It’d be a surly and upset “I told you so”, not an amused one.)

—and now it seems much more like Padmé is solely taking this assignment to spite Anakin for being a dick and to pettily prove that she knows what she’s doing rather than any sense or urge to do the right thing. And....... childish pettiness????? Is not Padmé. And yet, she has the entire immature “don’t tell me what to DO, Anakin” attitude this whole arc that amounts to WAY more than just the normal response she would have to his overcontrolling dickishness

And once again, it’s because she, like everyone else in the episode, seems to think the problem Anakin has is that he’s jealous of Clovis. He’s not, not really. He’s insecure, yes, but he also knows Clovis is a bag of dicks as well, and trusts that Padmé knows she’s better than that. His problem isn’t fears he’ll lose Padmé, it is entirely that Padmé isn’t listening to his concerns, doesn’t trust him, is going into a situation they both know is unwise, and he is frustrated he’s not in a position where he can look out for her since he feels she’s not looking out for herself. And, he’s not entirely wrong. Padmé IS being reckless and kind of irrational solely to prove a point. He just goes about it pretty much entirely the wrong way, which is what you can really say is the cause and effect formula for any problem Anakin Skywalker encounters and subsequently makes worse.

And then there’s That Scene. The one where Clovis tries to force a kiss on Padmé and Anakin freaks and almost kills him for it. I’ll start off by quoting another Tumblr user on that very scene by saying in regards to Clovis: “that bitch deserved that”. The almost murder? Maybe not that far, but the initial hitting for disrespecting someone’s “no”? Yep, that was deserved.

My first criticism is that Anakin shouldn’t have even had time to attack him because why the fuck wasn’t Padmé instantly kneeing him in the balls?!?! Like Padmé is not prone to violence immediately, no, but she can will and does defend herself immediately when she needs to— her right punch knocked someone tf out once when she was pissed —and she already gave him a warning that his advances were not welcomed.

Now, I am absolutely not victim blaming. I am NOT saying it is the fault of a woman (I’d be a hypocrite if I did and that’s all I’ll say on THAT), or of anyone when faced with sexual harassment, if they don’t fight back for whatever reason, no matter how capable of doing so they may be. What I’m saying is that considering her previous behavior and personality and the fact that the show NEVER goes deep enough into explaining heavy stuff like why victims might freeze or NOT fight back when faced with harassment, I feel like showing her not attempting to defend herself at all is kinda strange.

Now, Padmé’s utter passiveness to the situation aside, we’re going back into toxic masculinity and misunderstood interpretations of how Anakin displays possession. While I’ll repeat that Clovis deserved consequences for the forced kiss, Anakin going full caveman defending his property jealous rage just. Doesn’t feel right to me. Again, I think Anakin would probs hit him and put the fear of living god into him, maybe even I’d buy the attempted murder if they framed it as Anakin doing it because he hates those who force their will on others and disrespect women, but the whole that’s MY wife and you’re touching her shite just once more feels alpha male aggressive ridiculousness. Like again, I understand Anakin is possessive of Padmé, but not like this. I’m sorry, but I just cannot see that, him fighting over her like she’s a scrap of meat.

Like, I completely think she’s in the right tho to put them on a break after he does it though. That’s well within her right.

But then onto the FINAL part where after Clovis goofs and fucks them all over and then dies, she forgives him and blames herself for everything and apologizes. And like, that part I do see as in canon and character for her and for Anakin. He doesn’t like to admit his mistakes, her mistakes weigh on her and when she fails to fix or save someone, she falls into depression and upset and self-blame.

But the fact that Clovis died because Anakin dropped him? Anakin Skywalker, who scaled an entire elevator shaft carrying two people over his back who combined probs weighed more than Padmé and Clovis. Anakin Skywalker, who’s used the Force to lift tons of debris, who’s used it to hold back explosions, Anakin Skywalker, MOST POWERFUL FORCE USER IN HISTORY WHO TENDS TO RELY ON BRUTE STRENGTH FOR MOST SHIT ANYWAY. That Anakin couldn’t pull two people over a ledge?!?!?!?!? This has always bothered me.

Like to be honest; I feel this entire episode could have been so fixable too. Like keep Anakin’s obsessive worry over Padmé making a mistake, keep the best part of the arc which is his talk with Obi Wan where Obi Wan tries to connect with him and explain that he’s not alone, all Jedi have emotional struggles and have loved, if perhaps he wants to TALK to someone about it, Obi Wan is here for him, like that? That’s okay!

Just ugh ffs, get rid of the nasty Anakin treating Padmé like a naughty dog who won’t obey him and the Padmé purposely acting unwisely to spite Anakin plot. Have the entire conflict be both of them being upset that the other doesn’t trust them, doesn’t believe in their advice, keep Padmé’s speech about how marriages NEED trust and compromise to survive, take all of Anakin’s aggression towards Padmé and transfer it to aggression towards Clovis, like make the conflict him menacing the guy if he hurts Padmé again just because he’s being overprotective and “if you won’t look out for yourself I will” and Anakin getting constantly checked for not being able to control his emotions, Padmé can tell him off for being overprotective instead of overaggressive and his possessiveness can instead show through him arguing that he needs to keep her safe at all costs. THAT can be the argument.

And if they want the Vader foreshadowing? Like real, in-character Vader foreshadowing??? Tbh, drop the Clovis beatdown, drop the machoness towards Padmé, and just have Anakin blatantly DROP the douchebag at the end of the episode instead of his hand slipping. Make him choose to ACTIVELY kill Clovis. Like THAT, Anakin taking the law into his own hands and deciding that he knows best and this guy is dangerous and has fucked up one too many times, there being an opportunity where there’s an chance to save Clovis when they’re alone without Pads, “be a Jedi, Padmé wouldn’t want this, do the right thing” Clovis might say, and we can see Anakin’s face considering, and then he just “Long Live The King”s him and lets him fall and die, THAT is an in-character Vader foreshadowing.

Then at the end of the episode, we can have Anakin lie to her, say Clovis slipped, say it was too late, and Padmé can believe him, thank him for trying. Then there’s the same thing where Padmé apologizes, and we can have a callback to the convo about trust and she adds that she’s sorry that she didn’t trust him, and when she says that, we zoom in on Anakin’s guilty face.

There. That’s how I’d fix these episodes

And THERE, I think I’ve complained about everything, I am SO sorry for the gigantic ass post and response, I’ll add a read more once I’m on my laptop and not on the beach on mobile.

But yeah anon, I hope that satisfies your question xD

Once again, I welcome discussion if y’all either agree with me or if you have any differing opinions, I know my takes are far from hot for several people and I’m curious to see what others think!

[elrondsscribe]

Azula and redemption.

So … this is going to be a bit of a mess. I’m undoubtedly going to say a lot of things in this post that I’ll end up re-phrasing later. Apologies, because this got long-ish.

I will repeat that I don’t have access to the Avatar comics, and that I’m not interested in material from them. You may quote me as saying that, as of this post, the comics are not canon so far as I’m concerned. (The same goes for Legend of Korra, but I’ll talk more about that elsewhere.)

The character of Azula is one that a lot of people in this fandom find really compelling, yours truly included. She’s clever and calculating. She plays the long game, and she plays to win. She lets nothing get in the way of her goals. She’s an incredibly powerful firebender, arguably the most powerful we get to see in close focus; and there’s a beauty to her bending that makes her just a pleasure to watch. She’s got some of the wittiest lines. And #girlboss, I guess. She’s the unquestioned leader of a trio of incredibly accomplished young girls. On some level, we have no choice but to stan.

It is also true that Ozai’s treatment of her is abusive, and has damaged her deeply. When he had no more use for her in “Sozin’s Comet: The Phoenix King,” he cast her aside without a second thought, saddling her with a title that he rendered meaningless with his whole “Phoenix King” stunt, thus sending her spiraling into a psychotic break. He might praise her for being “a true prodigy,” but clearly her obsession with perfection was something that he passed on to her, or instilled in her, or both. She also appears to have had the closer and more “affirmative” relationship with him (whereas Zuko’s closer and more “affirmative” relationship was with Ursa), and that relationship has molded her into someone who is, at her core, deeply afraid.

But as much as Azula is afraid, Azula is also cruel. With the exception of her father and master, she seems to value the lives of the people around her purely in terms of what they can get her or accomplish for her. And while Ozai may have nurtured these things in her, I also think that, to some extent, those traits were already there in ways that they weren’t there for Zuko.

Now, a lot of Azula-defenders will say that the glimpses of Azula that we see in “Zuko Alone” should not be taken as gospel truth, that we are trusting an unreliable narrator. But I argue that a nine-year-old Azula who bodily throws Ty Lee on the ground and then points and laughs at her because Ty Lee had the nerve to perform a backflip better than she could is not inconsistent with a fourteen-year-old Azula who is willing to order Ty Lee’s safety set net on fire and all the dangerous circus beasts simultaneously turned loose while she’s suspended in the air (thus endangering Ty Lee’s life and the lives of all the patrons), just because Ty Lee had the nerve to initially say no to joining her. A nine-year-old Azula who sets an apple atop Mai’s head on fire just to get Zuko to embarrass Mai by pushing her into a fountain is not inconsistent with a fourteen-year-old Azula who plays with the life of Mai’s toddling brother in Mai’s presence in order to keep king Bumi captive. And an eleven-year-old Azula who smiles while her father burns her brother’s face is not inconsistent with a fourteen-year-old Azula who is willing to throw lightning at him with no knowledge of the existence of lightning redirection and who is willing to put a bounty on him dead or alive.

I think, like a great many other people in the fandom do, that Azula not only has less empathy than is “the norm,” but also more cruelty (the two are NOT synonymous). In fact, I think that this lack of empathy and relatively high cruelty was part of what Ozai admired and refined in Azula, it wasn’t just her firebending. See, I think people who say that Ozai favored Azula just because she was a firebending prodigy are a little off the mark: if Azula had been a firebending prodigy but had the same kind of “you-can’t-sacrifice-the-lives-of-our-loyal-soldiers”/ “Uncle-deserves-sympathy-his-only-kid’s-dead” attitude that Zuko had, Ozai would have had a lot less to work with. Azula is unquestionably an abuse victim, but she is also herself an abuser: of Ty Lee, of Mai, of Zuko, of the soldiers and servants beneath her.

To be blunt: Ozai may have shaped and encouraged her crueler traits, but I don’t think he put them in her. Not entirely.

Now I wanted to talk about the cruelty issue with Azula because it’s important to how I see a good Azula redemption arc taking place. Now Aaron Ehasz may believe that Zuko is best suited to be the key for Azula’s redemption, but I disagree very strongly. Azula was also an abuser of Zuko, and I think that making Zuko the one to power her through it with Love would be terrible. What’s the point of Zuko so powerfully standing up to his father and calling him out on his abuse if Zuko’s also supposed to be the one to “save” his secondary abuser?

(As an aside: this is also my big objection to Tyzula, which is alarmingly common in fanwork. I mean, Ty Lee is arguably Azula’s most explicit victim, and the one most clearly afraid of Azula. What on God’s green earth made that ship so popular that their voice actresses ended up doing a scene in one proposed to the other?! Was it the scene at the party? Because if so, I think it’s rich that Azula’s one and only canon apology is for saying something rude but probably true, while never apologizing for that one time she endangered Ty Lee’s life and snatched away the circus career that she’d tried to build for herself.)

An Azula redemption just wouldn’t follow the same road as Zuko’s redemption did. It wouldn’t just be a matter of Azula learning that she doesn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love. It wouldn’t just be a matter of learning that the way her father treated her was wrong and bad.  It wouldn’t even just be a matter of learning that fear is not, in fact, the only reliable way to have relationships with people. It would be a matter of learning to see people other than herself as persons and not tools to get her things. It would be a matter of learning that her own sense of inherent superiority (both national and personal) is without merit. It would be a matter of learning that the suffering of other people is actually Not A Good and that she probably shouldn’t cause it for fun.

(Plus, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t honestly know how possible it would be for Azula to internalize these things because, as I’ve said, the cruelty and tendency towards manipulation seem to be just a part of her.)

Oh, and also: I’ve heard people say that Azula should have had a redemption arc within ATLA, or that an Azula redemption was one of the many things we were cheated in that we never got a Book 4. But I really think a meaningful redemption arc for Azula would take much, much longer than a single season. I mean, it took three books to complete a redemption arc for Zuko, and at the beginning of his, he was in a much more receptive place than Azula is after the Agni Kai. And Azula has more destructive ideas to unlearn than Zuko did.

So, do I think Azula is a “monster,” whatever that means? Do I think she doesn’t “deserve” redemption? No. I’m also aware that she’s just fourteen, and a lot of things can change during one’s teen years. But I do think that Azula is one of those cases where the abused has also become an abuser in her own right, and a meaningful redemption for her is rather a bigger undertaking than some of her fans and defenders acknowledge. And for God’s sake, don’t make Zuko or Ty Lee responsible for her redemption!!

Post-mortem: Also, about the dragons: I get the appeal of the dragons as an element of Azula’s redemption. Especially after Game of Thrones, I’d love to have a functional, badass, not-dead dragon-lady too. But “The Firebending Masters” told us that Ran and Shaw incinerate you if they don’t find you worthy, which is bad news for a firebender who’s all about power and domination rather than guardianship and life-igniting (there’s a better way to say that, I’m sure). If Ran and Shaw were involved in an Azula redemptive journey, it would have to be near or at the end, just to avoid the incinerating.

[deathstroke-the-himbonator]

What your RvB OTP says about you

((I saw a similar list, but it didn't include a lot of my favorite ships and also I thought this would be fun. Sorry if any of this offends anyone: it’s all in good fun and just some observations I’ve noticed over the years about certain shippers. Let me know if I missed any other big ones!))

FUCK I FORGOT SISTER AND DR GREY

Tuckington: Chorus crew is best crew. Wash and Tucker are your all-time favorites and you're so proud of how far Tucker has come. You probably hate/love Felix, there is no in-between.

Mainewash: You like to suffer; you have an addiction to fics that involve one of these two dying. You live for the Meta and Antagonist!Wash team-up. You probably ship Doc with them if you’re into polyam. Cat person.

Yorkalina: You adore York to the moon and back, and are honestly a sucker for “goofy person meets strict person and teaches them to have fun” pairings. You have a replica of York’s lighter that you’ve never used.

Grimmons: You deserve a Fandom Grandma/Grandpa mug, buddy. You’re so tired, and you’ve probably been here since at least season 6. One day it’ll be canon, you just know it. In the meantime, you’re suffering.

Churboose: My mom ships this so here we are. Caboose is the most perfect of good bois and you’re only watching rvb for him at this point. You’ve cried over Church every day of your life. You named a pet Freckles, probably.

Washlina: You are the most chill/sweet person in the entire goddamn fandom. Seriously, you’re so nice. You don’t care either way if it ends up canon, but the latest content is still very satisfying. You’re so kind, I love you.

Sargington: You’re having the time of your life and I’m so happy for you. Sarge is probably your favorite character, but Wash is a close second. You’re chill about other ships but this is the guilty fav; don’t feel guilty, you’re amazing.

Docnut: Precious cinnamon roll who is too good for this world, too pure. Doc when he’s doing the O’Malley voice is way too hot for you. You probably have written/daydreamed about these two having a farm together.

Pastrytrain: Congratulations for being a good person. The pinnacle of “I’m staying in my fucking lane” when it comes to fandom drama. I know you downloaded the Pastrytrain dating sim, don’t try to deny it.

Kimbalina: Never mind, you guys are the actual diehards for the Chorus trilogy. Carolina is your queen and she deserves the love that Kimball can bring into her life. That hand-holding scene is now your desktop background. Probably wlw.

Tucknut: Trans with an amazing sense of humor. You swear a lot and make more dirty jokes than you should, but people love that about you. Donut is your favorite but Tucker is funnier.

Churnut: Donut is your favorite. You hate that Church is dead and pray every single day that he’ll come back somehow. The Donut arc this season had you fucking THRIVING and I’m so happy for you.

Norkington: You’re either gay or trans or both, and that’s the tea. You’re still obsessed with the PFL seasons, despite how long it’s been. Your favorite version of Wash is the PFL rookie version.

Nork: Yeah, you’re gay, sis.

Flowarge: Where are y’all??? I know I’m not the only one. You want a sitcom of rvb that’s just Parks and Recreation but with power armor. Sarge is best dad and Flowers is your other, more dead dad.

Flyoming: You literally don’t need any canon evidence to ship something; if they breathe they’re in love. Florida is your fav, and tbh Wyoming isn’t even in the top ten, but you’re too into older men to care. Daddy issues.

WashCT: People claim you’re boring but tbh you have really good taste, everyone else just isn’t interested. Knives are one of your favorite things but odds are you don’t know how to throw them. You really miss CT.

SouthCT: The wlw energy is literally so powerful in your bones, congratulations. Team #SouthDidNothingWrong, as well as Team #CTDeservedBetter; you are correct on both accounts. South is best girl.

Southlina: Not sure where y’all are at, but you’re all about that powerful lesbian energy. You probably hate York; if not I’m sorry for saying that. On that note you probably hate the PFL seasons but you’re too desperate for content to complain.

Fucker: You little shit. You are 100% involved in fandom drama but you’re thriving regardless; it’s impossible for you to be affected by everyone telling you that you’re problematic. Tucker is your favorite, but Felix is hot af.

Locington: You say “Unfortunate” way too often but I love you nonetheless. You spent the entire hiatus between seasons 11 and 12 writing porn, and you damn well know. Hell, you’re probably proud of it. Locus is your fav.

Murdersandwich: Are you still here??? If you are, you’re braver than any us marine. Modern AUs where these three get together are your bread and butter. Tuckington is your second favorite ship.

Murdersandwich+Sharkface: You unapologetic, horny motherfucker. You’re living your best life while simultaneously sobbing into your pillow every night over Felix and Sharkface. Locington is your default fav, but this ship still rocks.

Lolix: Fandom veterans from the “Felix is problematic” wars and I salute you for your service. Here to have a good time, and ain’t nobody gonna stop you. You’ve probably written/thought about a “Felix lives” AU at extreme length.

Sharklina: Season 13 was so good in your opinion and you refuse to ever shut up about it. #SharkfaceDeservedBetter. You’re probably into punk aesthetics and you’ve made at least one playlist for these two.

Chex: #ChurchGetsPegged. Tex is your diehard fav and you will never in your life let RT forget that she exists. You’ll drag her out of her grave yourself if you fucking have to. You memorized Church’s speech from the end of rvb5.

Chucker: You cry each and every day about Church being dead. You’ve rewatched the BGC no less than twelve times, and that’s just this year. Everytime you see That Post, you reblog it. You know the one.

Sheipez: If Sheila were real you’d ask her to adopt you. Lopez is your current fav by default and you live for every moment he’s on screen. Caboose is your precious son and you’re willing to die for him.

Sex: You ship this purely because of the ship name. STFU, yes you fucking do. Tex is hot af and you love that one fancomic of sister without a bra on flirting with Tex.

Sucker: Despite popular opinion, you're not as horny as everyone thinks you are. Sister is your favorite and Tucker isn't even close but you love him regardless and think he fits well with Sister.

Suckington: I know you bastards are still here. Wash is your favorite but you love him being surrounded by these energetic shitheads who fill his life with energy and fun. Sister is best girl.

Greyington: I know for a fucking fact that this was a thing. Fucking sadist when it comes to your brand of porn, and Dr. Grey is your favorite character to ever exist.

Kimbones: You knew fuck all about Ladybones but you shipped her with Kimball anyways because you're a thirsty wlw. You've probably moved onto Kimbalina by now, but we will not forget the season 11-12 horniness you unleashed on this fandom.

[purplesunrisefanfic]

Talk to me here.

Find me on AO3 here.

I’m doing TLOU Femslash Week 2020!

I didn’t know it existed until Day 2, so I’m filling Day 1 “Making Amends” with an existing fic. (Abby/Ellie, Scroll down that post for an extract and link.)

Here’s my forbidden love (WLF/Scar) poem for Day 2: Scars.

Here’s the Tumblr post for Day 3: Good Son Fluff and here’s the AO3 link. (Please read the warnings). Abby/Ellie try to figure out post apocalyptic transition options for Lev.

My Day 4: Modern AU fic features adult Riley! Very meta and filled with Easter Egg-type things right to the end. Poly Ellie with Dina/Ellie and Ellie/Riley + something for shippers of all stripes. Riley and Abby are firefighters (You’re welcome.) Inbox me if you think you’ve found all the Easter Eggs!

Day 5 was all about an Apocalypse Wedding! I wrote a short song fic based on White Wedding for this. This Dina/Ellie fic was one of the most popular of the week.

The Day 6: Hunting Together ficlet took us way back to happier times. Ellie and Riley star in “I sorta shot a rifle before...but it was at rats...with BBs.”

Links will be added soon, but they’re all on my AO3.

My Fics

I’m currently writing a multi-chapter letter/note based epilogue for Part 2 called “Dear.” It’s a long-game Dina/Ellie reconciliation fic focused on recovery and earning forgiveness.

My first Abby/Ellie fic (heavy angst, smut, slight dom Ellie) might be more sloppy than hot mess (written in an afternoon when I had two others on the go, whoops) but UPDATE: got pretty decent feedback and is now a series with a second Abby/Ellie fic (smut, Dom Abby, spanking + heavy angst)

My first fic was some Dina/Ellie BDSM times involving everyone’s favourite clueless top (aka Ellie) wanting to explore subbing for everyone’s favourite power bottom (aka Dina).

I’ve also written an Ellie & Joel Drabble (hurt/comfort) where everyone’s favourite Murder Dad tries to look out for Ellie right after David, he’s awakward and they’re cute (warning for mature themes)

Happy to Beta TLOU fics/HMU if you’re writing autistic characters/Reach out if you’re interested in beta reading for me.

If you want me to beta read your TLOU work then message me and I’ll see what I can do.

I recently offered (link to be added) so help and advice re: writing autistic characters who (like me) have sex lives. Do reach out if you want some non-judgmental input. Same goes for my other atypicalities!

Ship all the Ellie!

I now simultaneously ship both Abby/Ellie and Dina/Ellie and give no fucks.

Lev Ideas/Prompts Welcome

I’m keen to see more Lev fics in the fandom but am currently lacking ideas so please do send me your Lev-related prompts if you have any.

Smut requests for Abby/Ellie or Dina/Ellie are also welcome:

Please also feel free to send me any kink/BDSM prompts or ideas that’s you’d like to see in an Abby/Ellie or Dina/Ellie fic and I’ll let you know if that’s something I can do.

(Relevant link tba)

Luddite/Probably not online much, I check messages tho

In case you haven’t guessed, this Tumblr basically only exists as a companion to my fanfic writing, so you probably won’t find me doing much here except fic discussion and maybe reblogging all the TLOU gifs I’ve seen.

Thanks for reading this/my fics

And a big thank you to my readers, especially those of you who reach out to me or leave comments. Comments and feedback are what keep me writing! Anon is available on here so if you have feedback but are feeling a bit shy with your username on AO3, then feel free to use that option instead.

[margridarnauds]

Ur brutally honest opinion about ronan and olypme please

God, complicated topic.

So, it’s well documented at this point that I don’t really GO for Ronan/Olympe, but I do think that it tends to get shafted a tiny bit, both by the writers and by the fandom (including me). They do HAVE potential, as a ship, and actually, to give credit where it’s due, a lot of what I do with Lazare goes over similar territory to Ronan’s relationship with Olympe, as far as the conflict between duty and loyalty and love and the weird amalgamation thereof. And I do feel like, generally, Ronan has traditionally gotten a bit of a bad break when it comes to the relationship, at least from the English side of the fandom, in terms of treating him like the only one at fault for the relationship’s breakdown, which....really comes from interpreting Olympe’s relationship with the Crown as healthier than it might actually be. (Though French!Ronan threatening to put himself in danger if she won’t talk to him is....not a good look, don’t do that, kiddies. And if your SO says they’ll do it, run far, far away. Don’t walk, RUN.) 

UNFORTUNATELY, the timeline of the musical really does make it so that it’s very underdeveloped, in the sense that we really don’t get WHY they would make a good couple besides “Oh my God he’s hot.” And other musicals, such as Le Roi Soleil and La Legende du Roi Arthur, also have a similar timeframe, but the actors involved had the one thing that Ronan and Olympe lacked.....

Chemistry. 

Sadly enough, Louis Delort and Camille Lou could really never SELL Ronan/Olympe as a ship. And, unfortunately, in both of their cases, there are dynamics that I’m much more interested in working with. And the writers’ decision to force the relationship at very awkward points only makes it worse (ultimate example: THE DAUPHIN’S FUNERAL. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK? Also you’re going to tell me that a repressed noblewoman is going to bang a random peasant who probably hasn’t bathed since That One Time Soléne pushed him into a lake after TWO MEETINGS?) 

Think about your life, think about your choices. 

They TRY to show the two of them going from hatred to love, but they don’t really do their homework, and as a result, the relationship seems rushed at best and toxic at worst. Had they both survived to the end, I can really see a scenario where it would have fizzled out over time and both would have ended up resenting one another. Because remember, on Olympe’s end in particular, she would be giving up EVERYTHING to be with him. Her future, her position at court, her chance of a good match, even her noble title. Because noblewomen lost their status upon marrying below them. And if she was truly in love with Ronan, that might be compensation. But given that just about everything we see from them is fighting....................................maybe they could have resolved their issues, but I don’t see it. 

Teppei Koike and Sayaka Kanda are probably the closest I’ve seen to a Ronan/Olympe that I can actually SHIP besides that one time when I was 17 and totally shipped them and wanted them to move to the country and have babies together , mainly because they had phenomenal chemistry and Sayaka Kanda’s deadpan, fiery-yet-subdued take on Olympe matched well with Teppei Koike’s gremlin Ronan. Even though they were also both older than either Delort or Lou when they took on the roles, they also LOOKED younger, giving me more the impression of two kids in love who might have worked, might not have, but the tragedy is that they never got the chance. I really have no feeling for Kazuki Kato and Nene Yumesaki’s Ronan and Olympe, mainly because there’s very little to really give it a SPARK. I put that down to Kazuki’s general lack of life when playing Ronan, since he played the role more as a Generic Hero™ as opposed to. Ronan Mazurier, a scrappy peasant with a loud mouth. And while we’re being brutally honest I personally feel like he’s at his best in his career when he can be a secondary character to a female protagonist and then die sometime in the second act or so. (I feel like his role in Mata Hari was PERFECT for him, ditto for Lady Bess.) Because just about any time he has the full limelight, he doesn’t do AS strongly on characterization as whoever he’s been cast against. Good voice, good stage presence, but he isn’t Teppei Koike’s level of actor. 

BUT I come to bury Ronan/Olympe, not Kazuki Kato’s career, not the least because audiences do seem to love him, Toho execs seem to love him, so I’m happy with him. But it does tie into my broader lack of feeling over their version of Ronan/Olympe, because despite the spark that Nene Yumesaki gives to Olympe, really giving a balanced Olympe who’s simultaneously a mature woman and an ingenue, it still comes off as very generic. 

Ryuu Masaki and Saotome Wakaba? The most touching depiction of a gay man and a lesbian faking a relationship that I have ever seen. 

[mantra4ia]

The Rise of Skywalker: Expanded Reaction Episode I (spoilers ahead)

Approaching a Saga that I love and a film that I hate with equal parts passion and compassion.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I must preface my opinions with the one central point of view that has never wavered: You can be a Star Wars fan and a film critic simultaneously. I think the POV where the critics like a Star Wars film and the fans don’t, and people counter with “Critics, you don’t know what you’re talking about especially with Star Wars movies. You don’t know anything. Go away” is absolute garbage. I also think the opposite point of view, Diode if you will, is trash where fans like a film, critics don’t, and “fans don’t know what there talking about.” Those, I believe, are the only trash POVs as it relates to Star Wars. Everything else is fandom.

Likes (from the very big to the very detailed)

John Williams score. John Williams guided us through the film with subtly and passion. Even when things were happening on screen that I didn't like, I felt my feelings soften and shift because of the score. He composed a lot of what would have otherwise been chaos.

C-P3O: comedy comes from character, and Disney SW utilized 3PO in the best light I've ever seen him for that purpose. “Babo Frick, one of my oldest friends” was such a triumphant example. Also, in general, the humor in this film from all ensemble characters landed really well, such as “they fly now” and “what were you going to tell Rey...or is now not a good time.” I also liked the humor in The Last Jedi, but a lot of people didn't. I think that came down to TLJ execution where some of the humor felt too earthly “of the moment” and somehow the conversation turned humor into a taboo, where as RoS kept the humor classic and classy.

The banter between Rey, Poe, and Finn. Finally, I felt invested in the bond of these characters, which gave me stakes to win or lose. It took three films to set up unfortunately, but I the aforementioned Finn and Poe digging at each other and the opening between Rey and Poe – What did you do to my droid? What did you do to my ship? - really sold me on the fact that this movie might have, if not plot continuity, then emotional continuity.

Han Solo. What can I say guys, I'm a sucker for full circle, volta bracket (forgive me if my music theory analogy is wrong) story devices. It didn't necessarily make sense, but poetic beauty won and hit me in the feels. When Ben said “dad” and launched that Red Lightsaber into the stratosphere, it provided such a huge sense of catharsis I was brimming with tears.  FULL POST HERE.

The “Dyad” in the Force: Kylo and Rey’s relationship. If the Force was sentient it would have said all along: I've created my own balance in the form of two people, why are you trying to mess it up? That's as close to a direct message as I have ever gotten from the Force, expressed in themes from TFA and TLJ which culminated Luke's lightsaber blowing up in the tug of war thrown room scene. For all the people saying “another hookie, new lore, unfounded concept brought to you by Disney,” no, I feel like that's been fairly consistent. In my opinion, this is just another iteration of a recurring element in all over Star Wars: both Light and Dark side, Jedi Master/ Sith Lord and Apprentice. This is just a first time that its been a light side-dark side pair where neither are masters and all the Rise of Skywalker did was gave it a name and called it a dyad and part of what the force has needed for balance. I felt really invested in the “Reylo” dynamic. and while I was never entrenched in one specific outcome for Ben and Rey, all the possibilities were intriguing. This is perhaps the element in the sequel trilogy that was most consistently addressed in all the episodes, and it paid off for me.

The visual imagery. Say what you will about Force FedEx #that’snothowtheForceworks, but it makes for some beautiful action sequences and incredibly framed, colored, and illuminated still shots, that fired up a lot on interest in the spectacle of Star Wars even prior to IX's release. 

Kylo Ren's arc. Full appreciation post HERE. Kylo / Ben Solo is undoubtedly my favorite character of the Disney trilogy, in part due the that fact that his story has tracked the most consistently throughout three films, and also because I've always been a fan of complex antagonists. His arc's been psychologically interesting, to the point where I would have been perfectly fine with Kylo, as Supreme leader, being the main antagonist of RoS instead of Palpatine. Also, Adam Driver acts the h*** out of Ben Solo too, even though after he “turns” he has no dialogue. It's all carried on acting, and its stone cold believable.

The Leia training flashback with Luke. It added a new take on the classic trilogy that was the one big element where this movie swung for the fences on risk-taking and it paid off for me.

The *idea* of Leia being Rey’s training master. Fragmented speech aside, JJ's team did the best they could with what they had of Carrie Fisher to execute a wonderful pairing in the Force. Whether or not the best way to honor Carrie was to use the Last Jedi footage or to pass the baton in order to finish the character that she made an icon, is a healthy debate, but the best intentions were glowing.

Expanding the intricacies of Force visitation. Colloquially, the “Force Skype” from The Last Jedi, has evolved into “Force FedEx.” Even though the stage was set for this in TLJ, when Kylo touches water from the Ahch-to ocean, some people won't like this, and I totally get that. It makes many plot expediting elements easy. But admittedly, I will deal with that because it makes for some amazing iconic fight visuals. The throne room scene is still top of the trilogy, but I have to admit that when you Force FedEx a lightsaber – it makes for a fantastic mic drop.

The lightsaber fight on the Death Star wreckage. This was my favorite confrontation in RoS, ironically no Force FedEx required. The contrast of fighting style is never more apparent, Rey jumping over waves, Kylo walking through them with brute force of will. Then somewhere along the way the styles flip, Kylo's becomes more artful and Rey's more brutal (not unlike Palpatine's aggressive form) when she knows she's about to be beaten.

Kylo Ren's death blow simultaneously with Leia's death, book-ended by the fact that Leia did not become one with the Force until Ben did too. It's creative liberty to be sure, no other Force ghost transition has been like that, but it worked for me.

Best acted movie of the new trilogy overall by all the cast, parts large and small. You can tell that everyone involved made it with love.

The payoff of Finn's force-sensitivity that we got in Force Awakens mostly makes up for the pain of poor, half-retconned broom kid. We get backstory of other storm trooper deserters that we spirited from their home worlds which become broom kid substitutes. I'm also glad at the payoff of Finn joining the resistance culminated in becoming a co-leader with Poe.

Remember that one throwaway in The Last Jedi that a very vocal group (myself excluded) hated because Luke did it in exile and despair? Rise of Skywalker has an appropriate answer. When Ben throws away his cross-guard lightsaber into the waves of Death Star debris, as a mirror image to Luke but with hope, we get a very iconic moment.

Initial Reaction *** Episode II *** Episode III

[glassesandkim]

Nico did not intentionally lead Levi on, any more than Levi intentionally led Nico on. Nico was just as confused and upset by the situation in the elevator as Levi for his own reasons, and he did not owe Levi anything. He was allowed to say no. He wasn't even that much of an asshole about it. Yes, he could have done it differently but he wasn't awful. He apologized for it multiple times. You know, the people in this fandom are really transparent on who their favorite is.

Again, can’t really comment on the fandom stuff and can only speak for myself. So yeah, I have no trouble admitting that I, right now, am much more hyperfocused on Nico than on Levi and actually did not like Levi’s character at all when he was introduced. Only really started liking him after the blood bank episode. Even then, I was much more interested in the rest of the b-team than Levi (Casey and Dahlia were the two I thought would get developed more as they were far more interesting and likable than the rest of the b-team). 

But totally agree that Nico owed Levi nothing and saying no in a relationship at any time is allowed and OKAY. And yes, I’d agree too that what Nico did was not awful. I don’t actually think it was immature or unrealistic like OP pointed out in the first ask I got. I think it’s unfortunate and a dick thing to do in Levi’s perspective. And I do always think of that scene in Levi’s POV because that’s how the scene was presented.

I started writing this for the first ask so it’s a little messy but:

My initial reaction to Nico’s rejection of Levi was: wow, what a dick thing to do. But I also understand the concept of boundaries and the requirements we look for in who we want as our partners. (This might not be relative but something that made me less shocked about Nico’s reaction after the kiss was that Nico didn’t have any great or important attachments to Levi at the time). People have boundaries and rules for themselves. And possibly dating or being involved with someone who is inexperienced breaks whatever rule Nico had. Kind of like, deciding that you don’t want children and steering clear from partners that do want children. It does mean sometimes needing to tell people straight up, in the beginning, that you DO NOT want this or that. Unfortunately, life is messy and nothing goes according to plan. So people will find themselves in situations where it’s really damn shitty to tell the person you’ve been with for weeks/months/days/hours “bye” because they don’t see the benefit or possibility in trying to work things out for the sake of staying together/love/infatuation/whatever.

(Someone once said to me that who you fall in love with is sometimes really down to timing and circumstance. Y’all could be perfect for each other but if one or both of you are in conflicting positions in your lives, it’s not gonna work however hard you try. It’s like jamming a metal square into a circle. You could probably melt that metal square or polish it down to a circle. But you’ve burned it and shaved off so many parts of it. What’s left?)

Is it wrong to have rules like that? No. Was it handled well? Could’ve been better but who’s perfect???? (Personally, really didn’t like Nico mouthing wow when Levi confessed that Nico was the first man he’d ever kissed.) Like Levi said, he assumed a lot of things about Levi afterwards during the storm and was maybe a bit quick to abort the situation in the elevator. And Nico might have inserted his own assumptions, his own insecurities and his own agendas in all those situations. Again, we don’t know his backstory but even if I don’t know his backstory, I can understand why. And I’ll give Nico this: he was clear about what he wasn’t looking for and what he didn’t want to do and apologized many times. And I think Levi reacted like he would given that he was rejected after being pursued while simultaneously confessing something that was probably hard to confess. Was it appropriate for him to bust Nico’s nuts (lol pun not intended) during the storm? Probably not. (And it’s the “thing” his character does: He confronted Jo when she stole his patient and got yelled at by Alex.).

I’d be butthurt too if I were Levi but I am also someone who feels like I’ll give people my time and energy if I am willing to. And I think Nico did that well and I would probably commend him for laying down the law before things got any further. 

But It’s hard for me to 100% like what Nico did because, as a viewer, I was already biased and liked Levi Schmitt more than Nico (at that time. Right now, I’d say I have a softer spot for Nico for reasons sometimes unrelated to the ship but that’s another topic). Plus Grey’s didn’t frame that scene for us to empathize with Nico. 

Anyway, that was very long and convoluted and I’m sure it contradicted a lot of things I talked about before lol but those are my opinions and I am presenting them as is. There’s really no right or wrong person in that scene. Just all unfortunate parts depending on which perspective you look through. 

[baddieromanova]

Why do you attack and hate people just because they don’t like Falice?

This is my first ever anon message? Okay, I normally dismiss questions like these but since it’s my first I’ll oblige:

Anon, I don’t hate and attack people for disliking Falice. I mean, if my rants and posts on social media come off that way then all I can do is apologise I guess because that’s not my intention at all but honestly I don’t give a fuck if people don’t like Falice or don’t ship them, I follow plenty of people in the fandom who don’t, we all have our likes and dislikes and ship preferences and that’s fine, what matter’s is that we’re all part of this wacky fandom together for a show we watch and simultaneously wish to get cancelled. 

Now onto my actual issues; I have an issue with Falice anti’s who’s reasons for hating Falice are beyond transparent, problematic or utter bullshit, because one thing in fandoms I absolutely hate is people going out of their way to sound deep and intellectual and listing off reasons (Which isn’t a problem, we all do it) to explain why they hate a ship when in actuality, it’s really a vague, shallow or simple reason behind their disdain and if it’s not that, they’re bordering into blatant hypocrisy or just being all around fake. Allow me to explain some examples of this I’ve seen in the fandom;

1) Suddenly Gladys, a character we knew very little about for 2 whole seasons, other than the fact that she was Jughead’s mother and left her alcoholic husband because he wouldn’t get his shit together, all of a sudden has tonnes of stans and she hasn’t even appeared on screen yet. She had stans before we even knew who was playing her, and who are the very people stanning her? Take a wild guess. Only the very sub section of the fandom who spent the whole of last season bashing her for neglecting Jughead. But of course, now that Falice is happening they’ve jumped aboard the team Gladys train, not because they genuinely like her, but in the hopes that she’ll get in between Alice and FP. I mean, if they wanna stan her then great but I don’t wanna see complaints when she’s written out or killed off, seeing as she’s only being introduced to start up some Falice angst, just saying. These same people have also started a campaign against FP and Alice calling them out as bad parents. This makes me laugh because where was this energy back in early season one when FP and Alice’s parenting skills should have been questioned? That season was definitely not their peak but I think we can all agree they’ve improved vastly in the parenting department since then but back to my point. It’s almost like the lack of Falice back then had something to do with their silence on parenting skills, but maybe that’s just a coincidence 

2) A lot of Falice anti’s genuinely see Hal/ Halice as a better alternative, which it isn’t. Falice has it’s problems, with FP’s alcoholism and both of their marriages still being legal and all, but honestly what fictional ship doesn’t? And fandoms are always gonna find something problematic in a ship they don’t like, but Falice are by far miles better than H/lice, this isn’t even an opinion it’s a fact. First there’s the obvious, Hal is a serial killer who tried to kill Alice and their daughter which kind of trumps every problem with Falice, but even if you take the ridiculous Black Hood scenario out of the equation and pretend that plot never happened, Hal and his marriage to Alice was/is still very problematic. There was never any chemistry between them, not much love either, they always just stuck out to me as that one lame middle aged white couple in TV dramas who seem “perfect” to everybody in town but behind closed doors it’s a different story and have spent so much time being more concerned with keeping up their white picket fence facade that they have yet to realise they don’t actually love each other, mainly because the woman knows she should have married somebody else and is still in love with somebody else, which is exactly the case for H/lice and Falice

On top of that, Hal is kind of a scumbag, even before the Black Hood plot he was a dick and radiated small dick energy 24/7. I’m not going to list all the reasons here, this post is already much longer than I intended so I’m just going to add a link to one of my anti Hal posts (X). Do I think Hal and Alice cared for each other at one point? Of course but do I ever think they were in love? Hell no. Alice saw him as a ticket out of the Southside to a better life for herself and Hal saw her as a bad girl he had a hard on for, that he could tame. If people see that as love, then I don’t know what to tell them. I mean if you hate Falice then whatever but to continue to ship Alice with Hal? Come on, at least ship her with Fred or Hermione before jumping aboard the H/lice ship

3) I’ve actually seen people who spent the whole of season two wishing for Josie and Sierra to be killed off or written out and have attacked them for breathing, conveniently stan Josie this season and demand for Josie/Ashleigh to get more screen time “because she deserves it more than Falice” (She does deserve more screen time and better treatment in general but that’s another argument for another day) and make stupid Falice and Tierra comparisons as if only one Parentdale couple can exist. And they’ve done this all just to have a dig at Falice not because they care about the Tierra ship or are tired of the only dark skin black girl being used as a prop for a bunch of white character’s storylines, never having any storylines of her own and being relegated to a human radio almost every episode. How pathetic can you get? Like, don’t piss in my ear and tell me it’s rain. Fuck outta here with your faux concern

4) I’ve seen multiple lengthy posts highlighting how “damaging” the Falice coupling is FP and Alice’s characterisation and development in general which is bullshit. The minute Alice removed Hal out of her life she became a better mother and a decent person, she was more caring and began putting her daughter’s first, over keeping up a facade for the town, she was no longer the cold heartless cow she was in earlier episodes who was putting on the perfect Stepford wife with the perfect suburban family performance and prioritising how the town saw her and her family over her daughter’s needs. As for FP’s character development and characterisation, he changed his life around for the better for his son because he wanted to do right by him. He quit drinking, got a job, attended AA, quit the Serpents and sternly said he was done with gang life (Yes we all know how that actually turned out but it’s the attempt that matters here and take the circumstances into consideration) and actually began to parent Jughead. It was a far cry from what we were introduced to in season one where we he was drinking his breakfast, lunch and dinner, deep into gang life and appeared to not give a rat’s ass that his son was sleeping on the streets. 

There’s nothing wrong with having a simple or vague reason for not liking a ship, absolutely nothing at all, there’s no need to type out utter bullshit to defend your hatred for a couple. For instance, I don’t like B/ghead because they’re overrated and Roberto’s obsession with them is slowly but surely damaging the show. That’s it! You won’t see me writing lengthy think piece’s on why I hate that ship despite all the problematic aspects within the couple that I do see because I could honestly forgive and dismiss all of it if B/ghead was not constantly shoved down our throats. They would just be a ship I didn’t care about. FP and Alice’s relationship had nothing to do with their development as people/parents or their characterisation, it hasn’t regressed them in any way, shape or form seeing as they changed for the better and became much better characters before their relationship began to blossom. So all of this talk of how their relationship has ruined them as people makes me laugh. Unless I’m mistaken, FP is still showing clear character progression. Alice was also showing clear character progression towards the end of season two, we’re going to exclude the cult story line from this discussion because while it has changed Alice’s character, the Alice we know and love will return to us soon and the Falice relationship still had nothing to do with that, but if these same individuals want someone or some ship to blame for Alice’s involvement with this cult, they should actually look closer to home.

5) Linked to #2 and #4. They also claim to dislike Falice for a myriad of reasons they think are deep when in reality they just hate Falice because it interrupted their already on the verge of dying ship or crackships that involve Alice and FP and won’t (and never will) happen. I don’t like to shit on people’s shipping preferences, I’ve been on the receiving end of that shitty behaviour in fandoms and even the people working on the show before and you really can’t help who you ship at the end of the day but one thing I’ve learnt from that experience is when to give up, admit defeat and accept that your favoured ship isn’t, never will be and never was a priority to the writing crew and show runner and move the hell on. Granted I moved on from that show a little too late but what matters is I did it. I abandoned the show, fandom, cast and never looked back and felt better already because trust me, that shit takes a toll on your mental and emotional state and I was going off the deep end so it’s a good thing I left that show and fandom for good. This would’ve been the case if I shipped H/lice, the minute I fell for them would’ve been the minute I told myself not to get too invested and prepare for heartbreak because it was clear from the get go that H/lice was not a couple the writers had interest in developing or writing well. Like I said prior, they were another typical suburban couple keeping up a facade for their neighbours but deep down didn’t actually love each other and they would’ve divorced eventually and had Lochlyn written out of the show, not only because Hal and Alice didn’t love each other but also because it’s clear that for each of the teens, the writers for some reason only want one parent around for each of them, for the boys it’s their father’s and for the girls it’s their mothers (Hiram’s a different case because he’s a villain but he’ll be killed off eventually). People say the Black Hood story line was only introduced to get Hal out of the way to make room for Falice but I guarantee you, if he wasn’t the Black Hood he would’ve definitely been one of his victims. The Riverdale writers would have gone down the route of having Hal killed off because it would’ve allowed them to put Betty at the centre of the story line, something they like to do constantly but that’s also another argument for another day. If H/lice shippers had realised that and accepted it, they wouldn’t be in the predicament they’re in right now

6) People re write canon and the established history on the show and between the parents to fit their delusions and beliefs and it’s just creepy. I get coming up with theories and trying to make sense of something but there’s a fine line between theories, head-canons and refusing to accept the truth or facts. Take Charles’ paternity for instance, that’s caused up quite a stir within the fandom in general. For some reason, for the longest time people struggled with the fact that FP was the father of the baby Alice had in high school, some people still struggle with this unfortunately. 

Now, I’d understand refusal to accept FP as the father or seeing this plot being a retcon or rushed or even being a little thrown off by it, IF IT WASN’T FUCKING ESTABLISHED IN SEASON ONE, WHICH IT WAS. This is why don’t understand all the debates on Charles’ paternity. The very first Falice interaction had clear implications that the two had a sexual/romantic history and we found out two episodes prior that Alice fell pregnant as a teenager, yet people can’t do the math.

[dyketectivecomics]

🔥Shipping

Send me 🔥 and a topic and I’ll give you my unpopular opinion

This took me a Hot Second bc I’m not sure if this would be unpopular or not but tl;dr: Shipping language needs to change.

(rant under the cut. i am so sorry anon, i have Feelings™ about this that i didn’t even know i had until i typed all this out and couldn’t stop. feel free to request like 5 million ficlets of ur fav pairings from me lmao. I’m so SORRY)

So, yeah, shipping language needs to change, Especially bc shipping’s become much more nuanced for a lot of shippers and esp since i keep running into fans using Romantic/Sexual shipping tags when they mean to ship a pair familially/platonically.

And that’s not even getting into the nuance of how tumblr™️ culture demands shippers to justify their ships if it involves anything Remotely Sketch

(ex. Abuse. Some fans ship abusive ships/ships with abusive traits for a multitude of reasons. I agree it’s important not to romanticize those traits of the ship. But it’s just as important that those kinds of ships are present bc it’s an excellent opportunity for introspection and discussion both w/in fandom and outside. Ofc if the ship makes another fan uncomfy it takes 0 seconds and costs 0 dollars for them to ask someone to tag the ship name if not simply unfollow them. and vice versa for the blogger to tag and respect another fans wishes if they want to keep that follower)

But to get back into the rom/sex vs fam/plat thing. It’s one thing that I LOVE about ao3 bc they let you differentiate by using either “/“ or “&” for those respective relationships. And I rlly wish that fic authors would keep that in mind while tagging bc I’ve seen some Bad Cross-tagging happening almost all the time. I almost wish we could go a step further and maybe include “-“ to help further differentiate btwn familial & platonic relationships. Or possibly use it to indicate platonic relationships with a possibility of becoming Romantic?

I’ve got Some Ideas about all of this obvsly. Mostly bc the way I multiship HAS to be super nuanced esp btwn all of my AUs

Murder Fam vs Magic vs Titans Dark for example? All include Rose and Raven having a significant relationship in them. Murder fam is strictly familial bc they’re legally adoptive sisters. Magic fam is platonic w/ that opportunity for romantic. Titans Dark straight up has them being Very Chill Exes. Each one is a product of circumstance and the characterization in each will hopefully keep that clear. But they’d all need their own warnings & ship tags bc of that as well, so readers know what kind of relationship to expect between the two of them.And it’s a really funny thing. Wanting to simultaneously see these characters either become romantically involved or keep sibling like traits.

Which is ANOTHER thing that annoys me. When shippers try to downplay another ship by saying “they’re like siblings!” when they have absolutely no familial stake and it just becomes a catchall for ‘i don’t want to ship this and have to have an excuse to not’.

Listen, I have a sister. When push came to shove I’d absolutely be there for her, but every other moment we’ve fought like barbarians. Even now as kind of adults we’re catty as shit.

Siblings are people that you’re forced to spend more time with than anyone else on the planet. Imagine being forced 24/7 to be with someone you cant stand, and yet also who you build up a rapport with bc you literally cant get away from them anyways?

Thats not a universal experience, but its mine and its why i HATE when people use the sibling argument when it comes to a relationship where the pair gets on like two peas in a pod otherwise. The sheer animosity that siblings inherently hold for one another is Unparalleled, and how it changes on a dime as soon as something Bad Actually Happens? Ugh, SIBLINGS.

but yeah, ship language & how we label our ships. that needs to go, and i know it seems to have evolved even over the past 7-ish years I’ve been in fandoms but like…. really hoping it continues to do so. i mean considering that OTP/BROTP even has kind of gone by the wayside (thank goodness bc i really fuckin hate those terms now that I’m a multishipper and aint got time for that nonsense but thats a WHOLE OTHER RANT) I’m sure fandom language will only continue to change as fandom continues to evolve.

[precise-desolation]

[[Okay, guys.  I am slowly, slowly working my way through drafts.  I’ve been mostly over on my Doctor Who blogs lately.  What with the reveal of the Thirteenth Doctor’s actress (yes, actress; I am excited) and with having finally watched Scream of the Shalka recently, I’ve kind of thrown myself headlong back into that fandom.  I haven’t consistently watched the show since sometime in undergrad.  Mostly because I didn’t get BBCA, but also because I just got so fed up with Eleven and his companions who were puzzles rather than people that I didn’t feel like making the effort to keep up anymore. 

And I am very long-winded and also a huge Whovian, so I will put the rest of my rambling under a read-more.

But my roommate and I are watching New Who (we started with Nine because he’d never seen any Doctor Who) and Twelve has given me hope.  Watching Clara change when she was with Twelve verses when she was with Eleven is like night and day.  Takes a few episodes, but it’s like “Wow, you’re actually a human being with actual flaws and strengths and feelings and not just an enigma with no personality.”  I do rather agree with the theory that Peter Capaldi came in and led a revolt and somewhere along the lines they just tied Moffat up and shoved him in a broom closet, because the writing did basically a complete 180.  It still has its issues, to be sure, but it’s amazing the differences.

I’ve also, as I said, watched Scream of the Shalka finally.  It’s part of the Doctor Who Extended Universe (or EU) and hails from the time after the movie but before New Who when BBC was almost certain they would never get the show back on air.  Their solution?  The internet.  It’s this very short six part flash animated story arc featuring a new Doctor and Master.  Of course, if you’re familiar with the movie, the Master dies at the end.  But more specifically, he falls into the Eye of Harmony, which is basically the heart of the TARDIS.  That bit is important.  And then at the very end of the movie, the Eighth Doctor receives a message about a war between the Time Lords and the Daleks and returns to Gallifrey to lend whatever aid he can.

Of course, that movie was supposed to bring the show back on air.  (I remember my dad losing it over that.  Have I mentioned I was raised by utter nerds?)  But it just kinda... didn’t.  That was the only thing Eight ever appeared in on screen until Night of the Doctor, the short prequel to the 50th anniversary special, Day of the Doctor.  A full seventeen years later.  (Although they did do another flash animated short featuring the Eighth Doctor around the same time as Scream of the Shalka.)  Now, this was back in the day before YouTube.  Yes, there was an internet before YouTube.  We had things like NewGrounds and Albino Black Sheep.  Which featured a shitton of flash animated videos.  I remember this because I am old.  But in keeping up with the tech of the day, they flash animated these arcs.  Which can make them a bit odd to watch if you aren’t used to that.

Scream of the Shalka, though...  It introduced the first Ninth Doctor and a new version of the Master.  This iteration was later replaced in the primary canon by Christopher Eccleston’s Ninth Doctor when New Who started.  There are some striking similarities in the two, but also a world of difference.  Eccleston’s Nine was very much a soldier who had seen too much of war.  That was true, too, of Shalka Nine.  However, the Shalka Doctor was much, much closer in characterization to the Classic Who Doctors.  I think the only New Who Doctor who has come even remotely close is Twelve, but even there the differences between Old and New are steep.  There’s a huge difference, too, in the characterization of the Master between Old and New Who.  Again, I’d say the closest to the Classic Who characterization is Missy.  So it probably doesn’t come as a surprise that the dynamic between Twelve and Missy is also the closest to the dynamic between the Master and Doctor of Classic Who out of all the Masters and Doctors of New Who.  But the Shalka Doctor and Master retain that very definite “best frienemies” sort of relationship.  They act like an old married couple, assuming that married couple consists of a psychopath who enjoys making the other’s day miserable in tiny, petty ways and also occasionally poisoning their food and a put-upon “responsible” partner who runs around the universe cleaning up the other’s messes.

So some of the things I’ve mentioned earlier should make it no surprise that I grew up on Classic Who reruns.  My father actually wanted to name me after one of the Fifth Doctor’s companions, that is the extent to which this has been involved in my life.  I watched primarily Four and Six growing up, but did see bits and pieces of the others.  And one thing I have always loved is the relationship between the Doctor and Master.  It’s dysfunctional as all hell and most definitely not healthy, but it’s also interesting and oddly charming.  Mostly, I think, for their snark and pettiness over ridiculous things at some times but their genuine concern for one another at others.  And they did care for one another, no matter how disturbing the manner in which that care and affection was expressed.  They had been close friends since childhood, a point which is addressed in both Classic and New Who as well as extensively explored in the EU.  Their relationship was dynamic and layered and interesting to watch unfold.

Scream of the Shalka retains that.  As I said earlier, at the end of the movie, the Master dies by way of falling into the Eye of Harmony.  The heart of the TARDIS.  The TARDIS is no ordinary ship, though.  It’s sentient.  It is essentially a living, intelligent being that grows and changes and expresses opinions and makes decisions.  It just also happens to be a bio-mechanical entity.  And it exists across all of space and time simultaneously, which is how it’s able to travel the way it does.  So basically what you have, then, is a living mobile supercomputer.  Another detail about Time Lords is that when they die, their consciousness is uploaded into a huge database, called the Matrix.  (No, I could not make that up if I tried.)  Time Lord technology.  So it stands to reason that if Time Lords can upload their consciousness into what amounts to a really advanced computer data base, then a sentient supercomputer of a species that has co-evolved with and been heavily influenced by Time Lords would be able to do the same thing.  This is why the manner of the Master’s death is significant.  He fell into the heart of the TARDIS.  His physical body would have been destroyed, as the Eye of Harmony is basically a star trapped in an endless sate of decay.  But I see no reason why his consciousness, which basically amounts to electrical impulses, couldn’t have been uploaded by the TARDIS.

So if he was destroyed, how is he present?  Well, that’s not terribly clear.  You see, all we really have, at least in a film format, of the Shalka Doctor and Master is six, fifteen minute episodes.  Not a whole lot of time for backstory.  However, two things are revealed that are extremely significant.  The first is that the Doctor is apparently not able to travel freely.  Someone - ostensibly the Gallifreyan High Counsel, since it’s not addressed whether or not Gallifrey survived the war in this timeline and the Doctor was living as a fugitive prior to the war - seems to be controlling or limiting his and his TARDIS’s ability to move within the Time Vortex, just based on his dialogue.  So he is seemingly a prisoner in his own TARDIS.  That does make the Master’s presence make more sense.  Evidently, at some point the Doctor was either so desperate for company or missed his friend so badly that he built an android fashioned after the Master.  (He appears to be a blend of Delgado and Jacobi.)  One would have to assume, then, that he was also able to download the Master’s consciousness from the TARDIS into the android.  Now, the Doctor is many things, but an idiot is not one of them.  Letting the Master back out to roam the universe, this time in a body made of circuitry rather than soft, vulnerable flesh, would be a terrible mistake.  The Doctor may be fond of the Master, perhaps even love him, but he is also aware that the Master is dangerous.  Because of this, he has fail-safes built in that don’t allow him to leave the TARDIS and that give the Doctor the ability to switch him off if need be.

And if you’re wondering, I do have good reason for thinking all of these things.  As far as the Doctor and Master’s relationship, when the Master is first introduced in Scream of the Shalka, he tells Alisha that “I pride myself that I am the dearest companion of the owner of this craft.”  Fast forward to New Who and we have a scene where Missy gifts the Twelfth Doctor a legion of cybermen so that they can conquer the universe together.  The Tenth Doctor tries to get the Master to abandon his scheming and run away with him to see the universe together.  Their close, if horrendously fucked up, relationship is a well documented fact of the Whoniverse.

And then there’s the situation with the Doctor’s ability to travel and with the Master’s reappearance as an android.  In one of the first scenes of Shalka, the Doctor is seen seemingly shouting at the sky that “I won’t do it!”  It’s worth noting that at this point he doesn’t even know what “it” is.  He basically walked out of his TARDIS, went ‘this is not the time/place I was looking for,’ and then declares he won’t do it.  “It” ends up being saving humanity.  Again.  As to the Master, given what we know of Time Lord tech, the nature of TARDISes, and the manner of his most recent death, it’s really the only logical answer.

And I don’t even remember where I was going with all of this, but it’s a quarter to 3am.  So I am going to go sleep now before I ramble for another two pages or so.]]

[piccolina-mina]

Ohh yes. This is the type of thing I would try to explain to no avail when discussing Roswell New Mexico, especially in how disconcerting it was that they both racebent a prominent character and simultaneously removed/complicated the situation involving her canon love interest. Thus she was reduced to this obstacle in the eyes of fandom despite this questionable, disturbing, and redundant decision and the argument of being heteronormative was wrongly used against her and those who shipped the mf pairing, when any frustrations aside, heteronormativity isn't actually applicable. A mf pairing involving a WOC and white male is still a minority pairing, still underrepresented, disproportionate, frowned upon. Important. The acceptable norm is racial homogeneity even in straight couples. And not only are interracial relationships facing an uphill battle in straight communities but in LGBTQ ones as well.

As to the last points, no show has ever shot themselves in the foot and burned their entire work of art to a crisp quite like Sleepy Hollow. It remains to this day astonishing.

It. Was. Abbie's. Show!! They killed their own female lead and ALSO had her sacrifice herself AGAIN for her white co-lead after three seasons of baiting rather than make Ichabbie canon. They had to set fire to their show just to avoid pairing the couple and used the WORST method imaginable to do it.

There are so many examples of killing off or disappearing a minority potential or actual romantic lead instead of portraying a healthy interracial relationship.

Take Person of Interest where the series would rather kill off Joss Carter (Taraji P. Henson) rather than have an interracial straight couple. Zoe and John were somehow viewed as love at first sight or more compatible (by the parts of fandom who weren't of course hardcore shipping a slash ship of John and Harold (Michael Emerson) even though she was only in a handful of episodes, and John and Joss had all the buildup). Both Henson and Caviezel hardcore shipped their characters so much the notable final kiss during Joss' last episode was actually Jim Caviezel going off script and pestering them until it made the final cut. Had he not done that, romantic Careese would have never been acknowledged at all because "platonic best friends" 🙃

Teen Wolf which is the poster child for all the baiting and all the bait and switches had a rare case of their main character a MOC being in an interracial relationship with another POC, but they actively chose to diminish their relationship by putting every obstacle in their way, banishing her to the desert by herself without ever having them officially break up and then using Scott to speak about her later on. Only to then pair him with the white ex-girlfriend of his best friend despite their relationship up until that point being platonic bordering on sibling-like since she was one of his pack members.

Meanwhile, fandom lost their collective minds when half their beloved slash ship ended up in his first real healthy relationship of the entire series with Braeden a WOC. She received more hate than any of Derek's previous (white love interests) and any of Stiles' female love interests. Derek left the penultimate season in a happy relationship with Braeden but she mysteriously never showed up again in the final season and they acted as though their relationship never happened even though both actors supported the relationship.

Ironically both actresses playing Braeden and Kira were never asked to return, not even for the final season, despite at least one of them being open and available.

Worse yet is rewriting established canon and narrative.

Once again an interracial couple with two POC (a rarity) had to be sacrificed for a more palatable interracial pairing.

Twisted built up Danny and Lacey. They played into the "starter wife" trope where Danny had to earn Lacey's affections while at his absolute worst as a social pariah and presumed killer. She had to take a social hit in her peer group and more when they made up and dated.

But then the series pulled a bait and switch where after professing his lifelong love for Lacey, Danny rises in the social ladder and gains wealth and popularity and suddenly Lacey is kicked to the curb and the narrative shifts to him really being deeply in love with Jo, his mediocre best friend who always had a crush on him. As in she gets rewarded with the best of Danny with none of the struggle.

And if you really want to talk about the active dismantling of a show's on canon POSTHUMOUSLY, unprompted, we have to mention Boy Meets World/Girl Meets World.

Shawn and Angela was the universe making up for Saved By the Bell having lovable heartthrob Zack Morris dating Lisa Turtle for a single episode before they went back to the Zack and Kelly saga.

Shawn and Angela were groundbreaking as an interracial couple especially for young adults and are the first characters brought up when discussing the topic. They were a nice foil to the bubblegum sweet, pie n the sky, boy/girl next door idealistic relationship Cory and Topanga had. Shawngela was more complex, grittier, raw and real. And while it was heartbreaking enough when she left, her reasoning made sense.

However the bullcrap they did with her character in the Girl Meets world spinoff is unconscionable. They diminished Shawngela's entire relationship, chose to rewrite their own canon by vilifying Angela for leaving and breaking Shawn's heart, made Cory anti- Angela as if their entire friendship in college never happened, and not only did they not give Topanga and Angela any screentime together, but they acted as though Angela wasn't literally Topanga's best friend for at least six years including standing as her maid of honor at her wedding. Cory and Topanga's kids didn't even know who Angela was and never heard of her.

Then they brought Angela back for the sole purpose of propping up Shawn's marriage to a woman he barely knew.

Meanwhile, Marc Jacobs and those behind Boy Meets World did recent interviews degrading the Shawngela ship all these years later by claiming it wasn't serious, they weren't compatible nor meant to be, and resenting it for taking attention away from Cory and Topanga. Why spend so much energy damn near 20 years later tarnishing the memory of and tanking a relationship you created and previously acknowledged as groundbreaking?

He's obviously not a woman, but Teen Wolf also did this with another COC, fan-favorite Danny. The character mysteriously disappeared. They never asked the actor back, but then they did invite and have back his white best friend and his white ex-boyfriend, made them a couple, promoted that couple and gave them more screentime than their already established recurring interracial slash ship, and had both characters disparage Danny and all that he was as a character, reshaping the previous narrative and portraying and casting Danny in a bad light just to prop up Jethan.

Can you please explain the post about WOC being loved etc. by a non-Black man not being heteronormative?

Sure!

Heteronormativity in the media is often done at the expense of LGBTQ+ representation. Black women, however, are underrepresented as love interests, especially to non-Black men. Black women as love interests to men are not a threat to LGBTQ+ representation since Black women often are reduced to the “strong and independent” trope of a character who is not written to be a love interest at all.