#also one of Squid's toys

[ofviolentdeath]

Me: -getting ready for bed and going to the bathroom- Pam's grey chonk of a cat, Pokey: -giving me issues for trying to come down the hall- Me: -heading back to the couch- Pam's evil cream cat, Kabuto: -goes after me because Pokey started shit- Pokey: -comes out of fucking nowhere and latches onto my hand that I'm holding the baby gate with to keep Buto from getting to me- Cool. I love needing to wash and bandage my hand before bed.

THIS IS WHY RIOLU IS THE ONLY CAT HERE I LIKE -sobs-

[fatedroses]

Finally I draw the flipside of the scary adventuring duo that is estinien and zenos. aka one man using the other as a third eye blindfold and the other being absolutely dead to the world because cozy (until he overheats in two hours and is unable to escape).

[hunxi-after-hours]

"Qin Zhou's" throat trembled as he quietly closed his eyes, no longer looking at those souls. "I will protect all of you." "Qin Zhou" slowly spoke his promise. In this moment, everyone heard only the promise, but Mu Sichen heard the words that Qin Zhou could not say out loud. "I will protect all of you, so that no divine monster can harm any of you, including myself." Accompanying these words, all of Qin Zhou's emotions vanished. Even desire, even aspiration, even hope — silently, he obliterated them all. All that was left in his soul was that promise. From this moment, he became Him.

ok ok ok I'll admit I haven't read many books that regularly use 祂 ta (the divine third-person pronoun) so maybe this is me 少见多怪 but GENUINELY this was such a cool moment. I almost had to take a lap around the subway car because this was so well done

[arolesbianism]

I'm still not over h2woah they're so funny to me. Especially the octoling, they rly managed to make the whitest ass character in the entire splatoon universe, I hope they explode <3

[frostbitebakery]

for @ferretrade

.Hashmarks

“I’ve seen a few troopers commemorating their kills with those,” Aayla comments, pointing her stylus at his collarbone where his shirt has slipped down.

It’s absolutely sweltering on this planet whose name Bly is saving in his long term memory just to avoid it in the future. Breathing feels like swallowing water, sitting still has him sweating more profusely than the 16-hour battle sims they endured during training. So of course his temp-regulating undersuit is shot to hell and their quartermaster is a mean bastard trying to teach him a lesson in taking better care of his stuff.

Bly had wanted to cry and beg for mercy.

Instead he had narrowed his eyes, nodded once in menacing silence, and turned back to his duties, hoping to instill at least some fear and regret in Q.

Aayla, his cruel savior, had crinkled her nose at him and offered a very large, very billowy shirt when he had sweat-squelched his way to their command tent. “It’s Quinlan’s, originally,” she had explained at his curious look. “He didn’t want it anymore.”

“Too many sleeves?” Bly had guessed hazardously.

So now he’s sitting in shorts and a billowy shirt at their shared desk, the collar constantly slipping off his shoulder because Vos is huge, and it’s an all-around aggravating situation. Except Aayla who’s lovely and can do no wrong, obviously. But who’s also taking an interest in his tattoos which Bly is not prepared for since his brain is actively melting.

“They’re for my batch mates,” he thus replies to her inquiry.

While the frown is settling into her features, her eyes flick down to count the marks.

Bly kind of wants to cringe. Oops.

“I thought batches were… decanted,” bless her for stumbling over that word, “in fives?”

He leans back, shrugs deliberately which has the added bonus of the shirt hiding the hashmarks again. “Now, yeah.”

“Cody, Wolffe, Fox,” she counts, her eyes boring into him. She’s like a massif with a bone, and there are moments Bly wants to be a chew toy. Sadly, this isn’t one of them. “I’m sorry about Ponds,” she says, means it with all her heart. “And you. I thought that was your batch?”

“Now. Yeah,” he repeats, half-smile lifting one side of his mouth. Does his best to not let the relief be palpable for her senses.

.Lightning

“Does it really have to mean anything when it looks this cool?” He almost cracks his neck trying to look at his back in the mirror. Lightning bolts strike out from his spine, wrapping around his upper arms like electric wings.

So cool.

“Your body, your choice,” Aayla says diplomatically.

Never mind the nay-sayers.

.Tic Tac Toe

“Ow,” Bly groans.

“Fucking tubie,” Squid hisses at him, bloody hands doing stuff way too fast for him to follow, “stop crying, it’s just a flesh wound.”

Holy hell, but the spots in front of his eyes do seem to grow larger. “You’re holding my innards,” he points out just as Squid throws away something bloody. “Don’t I still need that?”

“That was a wound pad, stupid.”

Wow, the black spots are in color now. “Mind the regs, soldier,” he slurs out.

Squid pulls a bandage - when did he do that? He’s incredible. He makes tattoos and medic stuff! - way too tight. “Commander Stupid,” he relents with another harsh pull. Bly pouts at him. “Congrats, you won the game.”

Bly weakly fist bumps the air. “Yay.”

.327

“Well,” he huffs out with a chuckle, leans back against the hull, “they’re my everything. Body, heart, soul. I’m ready to die for them.”

“They’re ready to die for you, too,” Aayla says quietly.

“Yeah.” He watches her roll the mug a trooper, long gone, made for her between her hands. “Wish they’d stop that.”

.Splinters

Squid wipes away the excess ink with ease and practice. “Well, it looks as stupid as you wanted it to. My work here is done.”

“Are you sure you can’t see the tattoo underneath?”

“Of course.” Squid pulls off the stained gloves, throwing him a judging side-eye. “No one will know what exactly you “hearted”, Commander.”

.Text

“Out of my way,” Aayla reads off his hand while he is unfairly under the influence of way too many drugs, “Rippin off my flesh, so you can’t recognize me, anymore.”

“I was an angsty youth,” he explains, maybe still sore about Wash forgetting the g in ripping.

She nods sagely. “That explains your taste in music.”

“I love polka.”

“No, the other one—“ She pats his hand which she’s still holding. His hand is so lucky. “Never mind. When you get out of here I’m introducing you to grunge and taking you flannel-shopping.”

His head is already nodding. His body is awesome at responding. “You’re like my sugar daddy,” he compliments her. Her and her twin. No, that can’t be right. He blinks and there’s only one Aayla again.

She snorts at him. “Showing you the holonet has been a mistake and keeps me up at night.”

.Flowers

“I wanna be a hi—,” Bly hiccups, fumbles with his drink before it goes all over Cody. “Hibi—“

“Hibiscus,” Fox suggests more drily than his drink.

“That one! I wanna be a hibiscus in my next life.” Just chilling in the sun all day, getting watered.

“I wanna be a spexcel sheet,” Cody says to the soaked through napkin which is stuck to his face but also to the table.

“We know,” the rest of them say in unison.

Man, being a hibiscus would be amazing. He will not remember this by morning.

Bly sits up in alarm at that revelation, spills his drink over Cody anyway. “I will not remember wanting to be a hibiscus,” he says, keeps his voice from wobbling by the skin of his teeth.

“You could write it on Cody the spexcel sheet to remember,” Wolffe suggests, pats Cody’s head when vague grunts of agreement sound from the napkin.

“Or,” Fox drawls out with a slow grin.

.

Bly very carefully tugs on the bandage with squinting eyes. The foil and adhesive separating from his skin is loud as fuck but needs must when it comes to facing the fallout of a drunken night. The bandage slowly reveals tender but well-healing skin, gold and a dark brown accentuating his skin.

He stares.

“This is not a hibiscus.”

[naffeclipse]

I've been musing over a few thoughts inspired by this ask about a mafia-ish style of Apex Polarity without it being too close to Pearl Eye, and after watching a few videos of Orcas hunting their prey (which included dolphins), landed on a sort of Mafia inspired Apex Polarity AU

Also not to add another Y/N to Orclipse's growing collection but this Y/N is a white-beaked dolphin. Look! They're so beautiful!

Sirens are cunning, brutal, and take everything with teeth and claws. The strongest kill and maim at a whim. As a siren who's not particularly strong, though incredibly agile, with a tail streamlined and dark gray with white patches, fins curved and mostly black, you're somewhere at the bottom. You're doing your best to survive and avoid trouble. You pick your battles and you pick your escapes, and most importantly, you stay alive.

But then you do something really stupid: you venture where you shouldn't have.

You don't usually swim so far up north but you're hungry, and the thought of a few tasty squids distracts you from the silent waters and vast, blue emptiness. You realize a bit too late that you're not the only one hunting.

You catch the first orca siren in the distance as a dark figure, and then another. Two who immediately cut through the water, charging straight for you like shadows. Though you turn tail and bolt, you quickly spot them in the corner of your vision. They easily keep pace, their size and strength overwhelming as they flank you on both sides, wide grins flashing their deadly teeth. You can hardly look at the mismatched color of their eyes as you dodge and weave, diving down only to be cut off by one with midnight blue colors at the tip of his flukes, and shooting off to the left just to almost be snatched by the black-bone claws of a siren with bright yellow fins framing his head.

They're toying with you. You know that for a fact in how they just barely keep back, corraling you onwards, draining your already spent energy, and picking at your panicking pulse. You have no choice but to avoid the edges of their jaws and the tips of their talons, and swim in the direction they want.

You near a field of ice floes floating on the water, and though you cut into the jagged structures dipping into the sea, the orca sirens never lose you. A desperate need for air pushes you onward. One small drop of hope still burns in your chest. Despite the aching of your muscles, you steal a gulp of oxygen and dip back down once more, charging away—

Only to run smack into a third orca siren.

This one grabs you, his burning red and orange colors filling your vision. The other two orcas join to help their kin keep you in place long enough for you to truly regret ever venturing here. Between the three of what you can only assume are brothers, hands hooked over you shoulders, claws clutching your wrists, and palms pressing into your hips, you're a fish caught in a net.

You brace for a voilent end. It never arrives. Instead of digging into your sweet meat, the sirens offer you a deal. The tips of sharp fingertips trace your jawline and the soft inside of your arms and down your slick tail while they explain.

You keep watch for human ships and report back when they're getting close, and in exchange, you get the best food you can imagine, the entire Arctic Ocean to swim, and anything else you'd like. The best benefit? You're under their protection. Of course, they expect utter loyalty from you. You are no one else's. Failure to devote yourself to this work and the brothers would mean a grisly fate, but hey, you're nothing if not eager to not be torn apart. So you agree.

You have a few questions about this whole arrangement, struggling to understand why they, powerful orca sirens, bother with a smaller fish like you when they could rip you limb from limb and be done. What's with the human ships? Why task you to this? Are you just fodder so they can keep their fins nice and unscabbed? They reassure you that they'll explain in due time (the sunny one booping your nose, much to your chagrin), but for now, all you know to know is that the human ships are a problem, and you are their solution for it. You've never really encountered humans before, but they've never really encountered sirens, or so you thought.

The burning red one lets you go, but you don't slip away too far before he tugs on your flukes and tells you to follow him. It's not a request. The darker blue one leaves for a moment, jetting away as the other two guide you to a nice resting place on an icy shore. They introduce themselves, and then their brother reappears with a squid in hand, half dead, and an insistence that you eat—they could tell during the chase that you didn't have all your energy.

And that's how you unwittingly join a very powerful pod of orca brothers who may or may not be teasing and taunting you simultaneously.

[animasola86]

🔥 KINKTOBER 2024 MASTERLIST

NOTES: This year, I'll keep it strictly no fandom, but I'll try my hands at teratophilia/monster fucking to keep it interesting! Also I wanna go back to reader-insert to switch it up again.

If you enjoy smut between humans, please take a look at my original fiction and my smut drabbles.

And now, please have a list of my Kinktober 2024 submissions! 🔥

🐇 Down the Rabbit('s) Hole(s)

m!vampire x f!reader (words: 11k)

Prompts: petplay, group sex, abduction, vampires, f/m

Summary: Waking up in a cage, you find yourself face to face with a strange but handsome man, who puts a leash on you and introduces you to his two friends... they seem most delighted about their new pet, you, on the other hand, not so much, but maybe you can be convinced.

Additional Tags: explicit sexual content, dubcon, mind control, cages/collars, size difference, oral sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, biting

Read on here or on AO3

🐺 A Filling Experience

knotting!dildo x f!reader (words: 9.8k)

Prompts: masturbation, sex toys, knotting

Summary: When you ordered this fantasy dildo, you were sure you picked a smaller size, but now that it's here, ready to be tested out, you can't fight its allure for long.

Additional Tags: explicit sexual content, vaginal sex, creampies, breeding, mating, possessed object

Read on here or on AO3

😈 Fork-Tongued Lover

m!demon x f!reader (words: 7.1k)

Prompts: demons, manipulation, anal play

Summary: Your boyfriend is a demon, and while you're not quite sure how that came to be, you are all in now - as he is all into you, literally, using his demonic powers to stretch your body to its limits until he can poke at your soul, eager to devour it (and you) whole.

Additional Tags: explicit sexual content, somnophilia, oral/vaginal/anal sex, cockwarming, deepthroating, deep penetration, overstimulation

Read on here or on AO3

🦑 A Special Little Toy

sentient!squid x f!reader (words: 1.2k)

Prompts: tentacles

Summary: One month ago, you found a little creature while skinny-dipping (or maybe it found you?). You took it in (quite literally) as your little pet, and this is how you nurture it.

Additional tags: explicit sexual content, assisted masturbation, double penetration, sentient sex toy, mirror sex, "object" insertion

Read on here

🎃 A Night to Remember (tumblr/AO3)

misc!monsters x f!reader (words: 1.5k)

Choose your own adventure smut series (part 1 of 6)! Can be read in succession or by choosing one of three options!

Summary: You are invited to a Halloween party in a mysterious house, promising a night full of surprises. Are you ready for this adventure?

First option (part 2 of 6)

👻 A Knife to Remember (tumblr/AO3)

ghostface x f!reader (words: 3.8k)

Prompts: masks/costumes, knife kink/knife play, anonymous sex

Second option (part 3 of 6)

🟩 A Shot to Remember (tumblr/AO3)

slime x f!reader (words: 2.8k)

Prompts: slime, tentacles, aphrodisiacs, triple penetration

Third option (part 4 of 6)

🐺 A Knot to Remember (tumblr/AO3)

m!werewolf x f!reader (words: 7.6k)

Prompts: werewolves, knotting, breeding

(part 5 of 6)

🦇 Fangs to Remember (tumblr/AO3)

m!vampires x f!reader (words: 3.6k)

Prompts: vampires, spitroasting, noncon, blood drinking

(part 6 of 6)

🐻 A Hug to Remember (tumblr/AO3)

m!shapeshifter x f!reader (words: 7.1k)

Prompts: aftercare, creampies, cockwarming

MASTERLIST // AO3 // ORIGINAL WORKS

[alllgator-blood]

I have ten billion WIP sketches I need to finish, but for some reason I stayed up from 9 PM to 4 AM conceptualizing, making patterns, sewing, painting and applying makeup on this stupid fucking felt squid......the detailing needs to be cleaned up cause there's only one coat of paint so far, but he's pretty much done

my neighbors probably think I'm insane because I was running around the yard clenching this toy kallamar in a death grip and flying him around like an airplane/putting him in the barbecue/poking him with a stick. I want to tie him to a string and recreate the opening of napoleon dynamite >:) ALSO I MADE HIM SMOKE OUT OF A STUPID CRYSTAL PIPE BUT PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY USE THOSE, THEY ARE SUPER TOXIC LMAO MINE IS FOR DECORATION

I don't have any process pics because I had tunnel vision autism style and forgot the rest of the universe existed while I was working on him. BUT if you're curious I'll ramble below the cut

Okay I am not a seamstress by any means. I've sewn my entire life but very, very infrequently. I've done plushies, clothes, cosplays, fursuits, accessories, etc. but I only do one like once a year, so while I planned to make all 5 bishops, I'm not really sure I'll get them all done. The material cost was like 20 bucks tops so I'm not too upset if I don't finish them. I AT LEAST WANT TO GET SHAMURA OR HEKET DONE.

here is the concept sketch ft. heket's toes and shamura's fingers. I decided to do his pre-schism version so I could fit him with jewelry! I did him first because like I said I sew infrequently and don't know wtf I'm doing, everyone else seemed a lot more complicated.

So I basically just traced this drawing on a printer paper-sized canvas in SAI, and guesstimated how everything would look in a 3D space. His head is four pieces, one triangle identical to the one in the picture, two wide triangles that are sewn together in the back, and a circle for his chin. You can't really see it in any of the pics but he's literally like a black cylindrical stick with little tentacles sewn on where his mantle connects to his cloak. The leg tentacles are one piece of felt that look like tassels, where they're connected by a rectangle but branch off into individual pieces. He can't stand up very well, so his cape keeps him up (that's gonna be an issue for every other bishop too except heket cause she's gonna be ROUND). Mostly everything like the crown, cloak, head, etc. are cones so I just had to make a lot of wide triangles.

For the details, I just used acrylic paint that was watered down so he's not especially crunchy, and for the blush tone I used a makeup palette my mom bought me 10 years ago in hopes I'd get in touch with my "feminine side", but I grew up into a nonbinary butch lesbian so OOPS. Kallamar looks better with makeup than me anyway. I'm kinda sad I couldn't get his freckles as lopsided as I draw them but it probably looks better in plush form to have them even anyway....

I could just post the pattern so I don't have to explain this but 1. I am mentally ill about the thought of my kallamar being in someone else's house and 2. the original pattern had to be tweaked while I was working on him so the final pattern straight up doesn't exist, I winged it the whole time

OH and the jewelry is just scrap pieces I had laying around, I might repaint it all to be gold instead of silver + bronze. I used 20g aluminum wire for his armlet thing, jumper rings for his earrings + ring (+ a diamond dot from my mom's kits for the gem) and chain for the bracelet. I made him an amulet as well but it felt like overkill so I took it off. I'm probably gonna make him a plague doctor mask and medicine bag sometime because I think about nurse kallamar more than I probably should :') I've already sewn one as a prop for a toy raven before so it shouldn't be too hard

[tsams-and-co-memes]

TSAMS Sunrise Canon Info

Updated - 11/10/24

Sun's likes:

Cats (he owns two)

Dressing up his cats

TF2

Listening to/watching documentaries while he cleans

Red Dead Redemption and Baldur's Gate 3

Cult of the Lamb

Yellow (his favorite color)

Snapple (his favorite drink)

Hamburgers (his favorite food)

Spiderman

Fallout

Electric eels

Retro gaming

Old-timey, black and white cartoons (with Popeye possibly being one of his favorites)

Sun's dislikes:

Squids

Insects

Balloon Boy

Hot water

Sea water

Taylor Swift

Garden gnomes

Sports

Salads

Kids (this was implied) <- (he might've made this implication jokingly, but he did end up saying that he does have a soft spot for them)

Eclipse

The creator

Bloodmoon

Roxanne

Minesweeper

Miscellaneous:

Soda/pop

Pumpkins/pumpkin carving/pumpkin guts

Sun tends to get very competitive with gaming

He’s watched the entirety of Dragon Ball Z

He has an obsession with cleaning and stacking the toy barrels/tumble barrels in the daycare. If they’re not adequately cleaned or stacked in a very specific way, he gets upset

He’s bought stilettos and tried on a dress before, while saying that he’s a pretty princess

He used to have a crush on Roxanne

He’s not good at dancing and really only moves the upper half of his body

Sun is pansexual (check for sources). He's not bisexual, so him being pan is slightly more likely (retconned. Sun is more than likely straight, at this point)

Sun has a car and knows how to drive

He isn’t very good at acting

He has a habit of cheating when playing competitive games

It’s been implied numerous times that Sun occasionally enjoys cross dressing

Old Moon has made a statement before, suggesting that Sun has kleptomania

Sun can read bar codes

He apparently knows the history of gravel and can talk about it for hours

He was programmed to know how to drive

His rays are made of plastic

He plays D&D and his character is a warlock

Sun grooms his rays like they’re his hair, and he uses ray polish to do so

Sun knows the history of Windex

Sun knows how to play Yu-Gi-Oh

Cleaning is one of the things that calms him and helps him focus

Sun panics sometimes when he's not doing anything, because he feels like he's not doing enough. Apparently this was triggered by Eclipse's return

Sun can't calm Moon down whenever Moon gets seriously upset, and Sun finds that "kinda scary" (<- exact wording from the therapy video). This means that on some level, Sun is afraid of Moon's anger, and of Moon acting irrationally when he's upset

Sun is the only janitor in the daycare

Sun's had a bird fly in his face before, and according to him, it's more annoying than scary

Sun's not good at bowling

He's eaten glitter glue at one point as a coping mechanism. He may or may not have also eaten sparkles

Sun knows how to grind coffee beans

He turned his basement into a cat den, and his cats have their own TV

Sun drinks (we don't know how often)

If he could be an animal, Sun would be a stingray

Sun doesn't clean the bottom of the ballpit

Sun received an offer to replace Glamrock Freddy as the face of the pizzaplex, but he refused. A lot of the refusal stems from him not wanting to be on a stage in front of so many people

Sun's never watched any classic Disney princess movies that occurred before Beauty and the Beast and Mulan. This would include ones like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella, although he's had Cinderella play passively in the background before (knowing Earth though, she'll probably make him watch all the original princess movies eventually)

Sun goes through a lot of existential crises

Sun is very good at finding kids who wander from the group whenever he takes everyone somewhere outside the daycare

Sun knows how to set broken bones

Sun has a fear of heights

Sun buys animal shaped soaps

Sun puts down a lot of sticky notes in different places

In the earlier days of the daycare, Sun once tried to play hide and seek with a blind kid. It did not end well

Sun's watched Death Note 4 times through

Sun has a crush on Yor from Spy x Family (his type seems to be people that could beat him up, but this could change)

[robin-the-robo]

Sometimes I forget we’ve both had Ciro the Neapolitan bear as children and it wasn’t just a fever dream I had.

In which I find out which of my life experiences are common or uncommon.

[bogleech]

Heya bogleech! Recently me and my brother found these at a second hand store for 5 bucks, and we’re wondering if you know what they are?

They say “C 1983 Marty Toy Hong Kong 7001” on the back. Found ‘em in a plastic bag with no other identifying information.

I gotta redo my ancient article about them because they are in fact huge to my childhood, or at least that pink one is! My mother surprised me with it one day, and said it was called "an ugg." She also said there were others she thought were too scary, but I never saw them anywhere. I still have my original one:

It took until my teens and the internet to find out what they really were, but there isn't any one single answer! The same company rereleased them under different names including "The Ugglys Family" and "Lil' Bendable Gremlin Creatures," then I think some other companies started bootlegging them under still other logos for a while. What fucks me up to this day though is that somehow I didn't notice "Ugg" had lips until my 20's. I thought he only had the weird trunk thing. My mind still wants to gloss over the lips you can see underneath it. No. To me he will always have a mouth like an anime cicada.

I'm certain this is the one my mother thought would have creeped me out too much:

I don't know where my mom got the name "ugg" because the only release to give them names (that I can find) has my first one as "Ooggy," and the squid face one you also found is named "Okky!" (Creepy sludge one is Blobby)

[majosullivan]

Castle Swimmer Dashboard Simulator

🪸 classycoral Follow

If there’s one thing that I’ve learnt while traveling the sea, it’s that prophecies can really range from being the silliest of tales to the most horrific things you will ever of having the dismay of laying your eyes on

🪸 classycoral Follow

Like I’ll visit one castle and their prophecy will be ‘It’s been destined that the beacon will use this frog to predict the future so we can prepare for it :)’ and then the next castle I visit will have a prophecy like ‘It is been foretold from centuries past that the beacon shall arrive and save us from a plague that has been taunting us since ancient time. Through sacrifical ritual, they shall free us from this torment’

#like who is coming up with these #are you guys doing okay???

154,879 notes

💧 oceaneyes Follow

I heard there’s hot singles at the bottom of the God Mouth

⚜️ minigod-fucker Follow

out of the way boys I’m about to GET IT

⚜️ minigod-fucker Follow

got trapped in unending darkness surrounded by voices

9,264 notes

🪷 through-the-reef Follow

I’m currently traveling through the Purple Peaks and it’s absolutely gorgeous here! I have no idea why there seems to be so few people living here, it seems wonderful!

🪷 through-the-reef Follow

GIANT CRAB, GIANT CRAB, GIANT CRAB-

13,521 notes

✨ give-that-axolotl-a-knife Follow

Does anyone else feel like the surface god is just toying with you how they please. They think they’re so funny. Well I’m about to be hilarious

🎼 beautifulabyss Follow

this feels so threatening, are you doing okay op?

24,957 notes

🌊 squids Follow

Being alive is so wonderful because there is so many beautiful places in the ocean you can explore and so many fascinating creatures you can see. However there are also the unending horrors

6,496 notes

🖼️ ocean-landscapes Follow

The Blue Hills

832 notes

💰 needling-on Follow

GUYS I MIGHT BE GOING INSANE BUT I’M CURRENTLY OUTSIDE TRAINING AND I SWEAR I JUST SAW ONE OF THE RULERS AT MY CASTLE GO FLYING OUT THE CASTLE WINDOW

💰 needling-on Follow

NOT INSANE, A GROUP OF HIS PEOPLE JUST CAME SWIMMING OUT CALLING AFTER HIM, OH MY GOD I CAN’T BREATH

💰 needling-on Follow

UPDATE: THEY’RE COMING BACK WITH HIM NOW AND HE MUST HAVE FALLEN INTO A SCHOOL OF PRETTY VICIOUS FISH CAUSE HE’S COVERED IN BITE MARKS AND THERE’S STILL ONE BITING HIM. I FEEL LIKE I’M GOING TO CRACK A RIB

284,047 notes

♠️ mistressofthedarkseas Follow

Alright guys which mini god from the ones y’all know about do you think you could take

♠️ mistressofthedarkseas Follow

IN A FIGHT IN A FIGHT IN A FIGHT

♠️ mistressofthedarkseas Follow

Blocked blocked blocked. None of you are seeing the light of the surface

69,638 notes

🌺 lesbiankelp Follow

Life is so fucking unfair cause kelp dragons are SO beautiful and magnificent and enchanting and I would do ANYTHING to get up close to or even pet one, but the moment one would see me they would immediately try to swallow me whole like a shrimp

#they’re so pretty and for what #AND FOR WHAT?! #I just want to give them a little kiss on top of your head… #is that too much to ask?

2,749 notes

🔱 poisedposeidon Follow

THE BEACON IS TWENTY???

🔱 poisedposeidon Follow

THEY SHOULD BE AT THE CLUB…

💧 oceanxeyes Follow

h

HUH?

🎼 beautifulabyss Follow

I’m sorry, the beacon is WHAT?

🫧 bubbly-bubbles Follow

🪸 classycoral Follow

No because like my castle’s prophecy is nearing 200 years old and I’ve met a ton of people whose prophecies are over twice that age. How in the name of the Surface God are they only 20?

🌱 seaweed-brains Follow

Okay this post just unlocked some long dormant memories in my brain and if I don’t talk about it with someone outside my castle I think I’ll lose my mind so you guys better be sitting down.

For some context: until around 7-8 years ago, my people were under almost constant threat of these giant sea snakes because they had unknowingly killed the head of their den. Savage things. Would take any opportunity to attack us. We couldn’t even find a new castle cause they would follow us everywhere. Because of all this, our elders ended up creating a prophecy, which stated that the Beacon would eat the carcass of the head snake, causing the rest of the sea snakes to leave us alone.

So when I was like 13, the Beacon had arrived at our castle to fulfil our prophecy, and as you can expect, we were all very excited and I remember trying to get to the front of the crowd as fast as possible to see them. They were like nothing I have ever seen before and have seen since, we all were in complete awe of them. However, the thing about them that ended up surprising me the most was that they were young. Like, pretty damn young. They looked a little younger than me. So while our monarch quickly went to make sure all the preparations were complete, they entrusted my parents with making sure the Beacon was comfortable, giving my family the opportunity to have small chat with them. Curiousity getting the better of me, I asked how old they were. 13. They said they’re 13 years old. They were MY age. I didn’t know what to do at that point and basically throughout the entire time our prophecy was being completed, my mind was just stuck thinking about if I was destined to eat that giant smelly snake

🔱 poisedposeidon Follow

Ex

EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME???

🎼 beautifulabyss Follow

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

♠️ mistressofthedarkseas Follow

I need a whole day to fully process that prophecy alone what in the actual fuck

🌺 lesbiankelp Follow

Did…

…did they eat the snake carcass?

🌱 seaweed-brains Follow

THE WHOLE THING…

🫧 bubbly-bubbles Follow

🪸 classycoral Follow

and people still think I was exaggerating about how wild prophecies are. How in the entire sea does being attacked by sea snakes lead to the Beacon needing to eat a giant carcass? Who is coming up with these solutions? Show me their workings

💧 oceanxeyes Follow

The Beacon arriving at another castle to help people fulfil their prophecy, only to find that it’s another one written by freaks:

🐚 sandyshells Follow

t

th

…the beacon is real?

🔱 poisedposeidon Follow

🌺 lesbiankelp Follow

HELLO?

🌫️ surface-and-beyond Follow

Sandy get back here right now what do u MEAN you didn’t know the Beacon was real???

🐚 sandyshells Follow

MY PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS SAID THE BEACON WAS JUST PART OF ANCIENT MYTHOLOGY…we were always told growing up that prophecies and the lot were just stories and such. You’re telling me that there’s actually a divine being going around helping people by eating snakes and stuff???

🌫️ surface-and-beyond Follow

Y E A H

🐚 sandyshells Follow

WHAT THE HELL

♠️ mistressofthedarkseas Follow

This whole post is a mess holy shit

498,690 notes

[schmem14]

Hello friends! Recently, I participated in the fourth HP Rare Pair fest, and with 81 unique and beautiful entries it was a veritable FEAST for the eyes and heart and soul. (Check out the whole collection here)

I wanted to take a moment to post highlights of the fics that just really brought me to my knees in hopes that you’ll fangirl/boy/person over them with me!

1. Evergreen by @thecouchsofa (23k)- Harry Potter x George Weasley What would happen if Harry asked George to go to the Yule Ball with him instead of Parvati? This GOF Yule Ball AU is sure to slay you with sheer adorableness. I couldn’t stop smiling and squealing through the whole thing. This rare pair is one of my favorites, and this fic went above and beyond, plus it’s the perfect holiday read! Rating: T

2. Lonely Creatures by @apricitydays-lazynights (5k)- Severus Snape x Giant Squid The prompt to put these two together could easily have been pure hentai crack nonsense (which is a brilliant option) but this story did things to me that I can’t even put into words. It’s tender, melancholy, and cuts to the heart of Severus Snape’s isolation and longing to be seen and loved. The details of this are so richly woven, and I particularly enjoyed the authors’ focus on Mermlish/Merfolk. Standing ovation to this fic! Rating: E

3. Slice of Night by SquibNation10 (9k)- Aurora Sinistra x Severus Snape This was the fic that took me the most by surprise. I love the creativity in taking a character who gets very few canon details and making them real and beautiful and believable. Auror Sinistra is divine in this, and I’ll give some honorable mentions to both Argus Filch and Rolanda Hooch as excellent supporting characters that also don’t typcially get a lot of spotlight. What a gorgeous slice of life fic! Rating: T

3. Quick Quotes and Quibbles by RainstormRadish (3k)- Luna Lovegood x Rita Skeeter Rita and Luna have to work together to cover the wedding of Neville Longbottom and Pansy Parkinson. There’s just something about a story told in unconventional medium that will always ALWAYS pull me in! This unlikely pairing comes together in the sweetest way, their strong personalities balancing each other out until they become a formidable team.  I particularly loved the graphics and paper trail memos/epistolary style storytelling. Rating: T

4. Your seat, it’s the best seat by @the-houseryn (17k)- Ron Weasley x Draco Malfoy MOVE OVER only one bed, there’s a new trope in town and it’s the ONLY ONE SEAT trope!! This was sexy, flirtatous, and hot AF. I’m always down for a Dron fic, but this one is one of the best I’ve read in a while, with some delicious pining and a predictably oblivious Ron. Do yourself a favor and indulge in the lap-sitting fic of the year! Rating: E

5. Vivaldi and Hot Chocolate by @patriceavril (6k)- Percy Weasley x Stan Shunpike What was Percy up to in OTP/HBP? What a lonely life that must have been! This fic was soft and sweet, giving some much-needed love to a character that we all wrote off in canon for being a stuck-up prick. I love how Percy seeks out the warmth and comfort of the Knight Bus, coming back for more because of the kind-hearted and bubbly Stan Shunpike, who always insists on giving Percy free hot chocolate. I never expected to be so enamoured by this pairing, but I am! Rating: T

6. The monster you feed by @ghostfelicis188 (11k)- Regulus Black x Remus Lupin This canon-compliant fic tore me to shreds. TO SHREDS. Like, I am such a simp for tragic Remus romances, and this took the cake. Features: pining artist Remus, and shit-eating cruel Regulus who toys with Remus the whole damn fic. If you like hurt no comfort, this is the fic for you. *Chefs Kiss* Rating: M

7. Gilded Web by @emilyrickman AlihotsyTotsy (8k)- George Weasley x Blaise Zabini I cannot believe that this understated fic packed such a punch in 8,000 words. George agrees to an undercover operation to investigate the mysterious deaths of Mrs. Zabini’s deceased husbands. He is so pure in this, his characterization charming and believable, I just need more of this George! Bonus points for references to “the Sting” Rating: M

8. Sleeping with Ghosts by @ghaniblue (21k)- Harry Potter x Regulus Black x Draco Malfoy My initial thoughts when encountering this relationship tag was something akin to a bewildered head scratch but OMG the best thing about this fest is having expectations completely upended! This fic slayed hard with a slow burn, found family, semi-sentient house renovation angle that had me completely melted by the end. Rating: M

9. The Last Trial of Peter Petegrew by @sleepstxtic (20 k)- Peter Petegrew x James Potter If possible, I’d like to ram this fic down the throats of all my mutuals with a plea to PLEASE READ THIS FIC. I can’t begin to describe in a tiny paragraph what this did to me. Often Peter Petegrew is relegated to the traitor bus in fandom (understandable) but this took every mean and traitorous part of his character and made me almost like him despite his treachery! The format of this was also a delight to read, and I love that Hermione presents the case for Peter Petegrew in this meta purgatory-style courtroom drama. Rating: M

10. Anatomy of a memory by @venom0usbarbie (9k)- Ginny Weasley x Tom Riddle This story was pure poetry wrapped in a sinister diary-shaped package. I love the self-fulfilling prophecy nature of this time loop style storyline, as well as the toxic obsession and manipulation played out between Ginny and Tom. What a mindfuck ending that was, too! Kudos to the “Tom Riddle is his own Warning” tag. Rating: M

11. Sweet Boy by @maraudersaffair (6k)- Narcissa Black Malfoy x Harry Potter A not-quite-fake dating fic with lots of smut, thirst, and mommy/praise kink? Yes, please! I was literally panting by the end of this, Harry and Narcissa are so hot together! Rating: E

12. Growing Suspicion by nocturn (1.8k)- Neville Longbottom x Marcus Flint Someone keeps mutilating Neville’s plants, and he’s going to get to the bottom of it OR that time Marcus expresses feelings but doesn’t understand proper plant care. This fic was A-DOR-ABLE. Love me a good Hogwarts professors/staff fic, and this was just a bite-sized delight to read. Rating: G

13. For Your Burning Gaze by SquibNation10 (22k)- Neville Longbottom x Pansy Parkinson The fic that I most want to see a sequel for award goes to… this Twilight Zone post-war marriage law fic complete with creepy house elves and a very troubled Pansy, who seems to be the only one realizing that something is not quite right! This is one of the best Panville fics I’ve read, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Rating: E

Thanks to @hprarepairfest for putting on another amazing fest!

[shunin-gumis]

Designs of Happiness - Track A22

L4mps Main Story Translation

Title: Secret Diary Exchange

Characters: Yodaka, Nagi, Netaro, Toi, Daniel

Summary: The protagonist and co. visit the morning market to get some souvenirs for everyone. However, they need to do some damage control due to the crowds forming from the narrow and blocked passageways… 

Thank you aca @/463ce6, myun @/myuntachis Niri @/Niri_riri and jes @/arcanecrayonn for helping me with proofing!

Location: Hakodate Free Market

Momiji: The morning market sure is lively, huh!

Yodaka: It seems that even the local chefs come here to get their ingredients. That goes to show what an excellent marketplace this is.

Yodaka: We should get some souvenirs for Danny and Toi.

Momiji: Leaving aside the Manager, who couldn’t even be bothered to wake up, I hope Toi-kun feels better soon…  

Nagi: *sniffing* Huh, I smell something good, it’s making me hungry. 

Netaro: Look over there! It seems they’re selling this “fish bone broth” along with a helping of rice! 

*Nagi moves away from Netaro*

Nagi: …… 

Momiji: You mean fish bone soup. Along with Hakodate’s specialty squids, you can also buy portions of sashimi and salmon roe here, and even share it with others! 

Yodaka: So you can enjoy fresh seafood on the spot? That is a lovely service for the tourists to enjoy.

Momiji: Yes! It’s worth observing together later!

Momiji: (At least, that’s what I’d like to do, but…)

Tourist A: Hmm, this aisle is too narrow, isn’t it…?

Tourist B: That just goes to show how popular this market is, packed with all these goods, but…

Tourist C: Which store is this queue for? I don’t knooooww.

Tourist D: Kazuo! Watch your step, or you’ll trip over those boxes! 

Momiji: (The path is blocked by tourists and piles of boxed goods… Alright, it’s time to get into work mode…!)

~~~(Hospitality Battle)

Momiji: Good, we managed to tidy up some of these goods while providing hospitality! This should make it easier for all the tourists to travel through the area!

Yodaka: Oh? It seems we’ve lost sight of Netaro. 

Nagi: Ah, he ran ahead to the squid-fishing corner.

Yodaka: My… He seems to possess an odd innocence about him, almost as if he were a child. 

Yodaka: When I think about how I, too, must have been at that age, I can’t help but feel nostalgi— kh.

*ringing noise*

Momiji: (Huh? Yodaka-san is rubbing between his brows…)

Momiji: What’s wrong? Are you alright?

Yodaka: …My apologies, it seems I was suddenly overcome by a headache.

Nagi: Oh, do you need to rest?

Yodaka: It’s alright, this happens often. More importantly, I wonder if ten will suffice.

Momiji: Ten of what? 

Yodaka: Crabs. It seems like they’ll deliver them in a cooler box. To our friends back in HAMA House, that is.

Momiji: Wha– But those are Red King crabs… 

Nagi: Just one of those costs about half a month’s worth of food for me… 

Yodaka: Oh, the scallops look delicious as well. Miss, I’d like to buy 30 of these. Perhaps I should also get some squid and salmon and have Yukikaze prepare a seafood hot pot. 

Momiji: A-Are you sure it’s okay to buy so much?

Yodaka: Hm? Well, the place is full of growing young men. Don’t worry, I’m sure there won’t be any leftovers.

Momiji: (How dandy of him…!)

Momiji: L-Let me help you! What will you be doing, Nagi-kun? 

Nagi: Oh… I’d like to help too, but there’s a shop I’ve been meaning to visit… 

Momiji: Got it. I’ll see you later! 

~~~

Nagi: Excuse me, I’d like those roses, sprigs of lavender, wisteria and azalea.

Nagi: Yes. Please send all of these to the hotel addressed here. Thank you very much… 

Nagi: (Okay… I managed to secure more flowers to give away. These should last me for the rest of the trip.)

Nagi: Hm?

Netaro: Nyam nyam. Haa~ Every bead of this salmon roe has such elasticity!

Nagi: (Netaro’s eating at the food court, all alone…)

Nagi: ……. 

Netaro: It truly feels as though I’m consuming life itself. I’m certain this is what it would taste like. And then there is this crab fish bone broth! 

Nagi: …… 

Netaro: Fish bone broth… Or was it fish bone soup? Hm… I’m not certain... 

Nagi: Fish bone soup. 

Netaro: ! Gii!

Nagi: …I wanted to check on you. 

Netaro: You. Weren’t you avoiding me because you were traumatized? 

Nagi: Ugh.

Netaro: Are you not afraid anymore? 

Nagi: …No, I’m still scared.

Nagi: …I could have just ignored you, but— 

Nagi: I thought that maybe you’ve been alone all this time, so I decided against it. 

Netaro: …Hm?

Nagi: Being so far away from your home… Well, I don’t know how far, but seeing you eating salmon roe all alone, with no friends or family here on Earth… 

Nagi: …I figured you might be feeling lonely.

Netaro: “Lonely.”

Nagi: Yeah. Sometimes you feel lonely when you think about your family or friends, right?

Netaro: Friends… 

Netaro: Ohh~! The squid at the fishing corner looked exactly like my superior, it was hilarious! I couldn’t bring myself to eat it, in the end.

Nagi: Oh, uh… Is that so… 

Netaro: Why would you become “lonely” when you think of family or friends?

Nagi: Huh, do aliens not understand what that feels like? Maybe there’s a fundamental difference here… 

Netaro: …… 

~~~(flashback)

Boy: Netaro… Do you simply not feel lonely? If that’s the case, you probably won’t understand… 

~~~(end flashback)

Location: Hakodate Free Market

Netaro: …… 

Nagi: Netaro?

Netaro: Humans feel lonely when they are alone, yes? There was a human who taught me that before. 

Nagi: Yeah. Being alone is unfortunate, and makes you feel lonely. 

Nagi: Even though there’s all this tasty salmon roe here, not having anyone to share it with would be unfortunate.

Nagi: Having someone with you all the time will double your happiness—

Netaro: Double!? What logic is at play here!?

Nagi: If you’re together, then sad things are halved…!

Netaro: On what basis!?

Nagi: Being able to share your life with someone else is when you can feel happiness for the first time. I’m sure. Probably. No, that’s definitely the case. I guarantee it.

Netaro: What a profound mystery!

Nagi: You haven’t been here that long, after all. As a representative of earth, I should help teach you this stuff.

Netaro: How reliable! Thank you!

Nagi: (Huh? I think I’m not scared anymore…)

Nagi: (Netaro feels more like some innocent kid now.)

Momiji: What’s got you so excited?

Nagi: Ah, Chief.

Netaro: Gii was teaching me how being alone is unfortunate, and lonely.

Momiji: W-Woah, that’s a pretty serious topic, huh… 

Nagi: Oh, um, not really… 

Momiji: Hmm, well, there’s many different ways to live your life… But to put it simply, I’d say that’s true. 

Netaro: Mmm, I want to learn more! 

Momiji: Oh, Yodaka-san’s here now. If you’re done eating, let’s leave too.

Nagi: Okay.

Netaro: …Gii, you—

Netaro: You too, say the same things that he did. 

~~~

Toi: Uugh… *sniffling*

Location: Hakodate - Hotel Room

Toi: (I’ve been doing the diary exchange all this time, but…)

Toi: (I wonder how many times I’ve cried over Aa-chama’s replies now…)

Toi: *sniffling*

*sound of pages flipping*

Toi: “Why is Ani-sama avoiding me?”

“Perhaps he believes his life will be curtailed were he to remain with you.”

“However, just as one cannot replace their blood, it is a futile effort.”

“Shall I lend you my power?”

Toi: …… 

Toi: If I borrow Aa-chama’s power, will Ani-sama return to me…? Will he never leave my side again…?

Toi: …… 

Location: Hakodate - Hotel Lounge

Daniel: PT~ Lookie here!

??: “Nyaa”

Daniel: There’s a good kitty, I’ll be home soon, okay? Be good and wait for me~

Momiji: Daniel-san, what are you… Oh! PT!

Momiji: You’re looking at the pet camera feed, huh. Nayuki is looking after her, right?

Daniel: Yeah. But lookin’ at this just makes me wanna get home sooner!

Yodaka: So the little one we see around HAMA House is Danny’s cat?

Netaro: There was a cat!? I’d like to pet it! 

Nagi: Me too. Getting scratched is not a problem for me.

Daniel: Why are you so sure you’re gonna get scratched…

Daniel: PT is the cutest cat in the whole wide world! I’ll introduce ya when we get back.

Momiji: I’m sure Shuumai will sulk if PT gets all the attention.

Netaro: That green peas never comes near me any more… 

Momiji: (I do remember Shuumai barking up a storm when Netaro first showed up…)

Yodaka: That reminds me, what are we doing for dinner tonight? 

Momiji: Oh, we hadn’t decided yet, huh.

Momiji: The hotel’s buffet requires a reservation so… We’d have to eat at the restaurant below, or eat outside… 

Toi: Daimon Yokocho.

Momiji: Woah, you surprised me, Toi.

Toi: Our destination is Daimon Yokocho.

Momiji: Huh?

Netaro: Toi~ You’ve awoken?

Toi: …Silence. 

Toi: On your feet. We shall meet outside.

Momiji: (He just left…)

Netaro: …… 

Daniel: Wha– What’s up with him? Something seems off… 

Momiji: I was thinking the same… Is it because of what happened with Ryui-kun…?

Yodaka: Is this the answer he came to, beyond his depression?

Daniel: I don’t really know about kids these days.

Nagi: ……Changing how you speak, suddenly becoming distant… 

Nagi: *gasp*

Nagi: Maybe he’s at that age… 

Yodaka: Are you talking about…?

Daniel: Ah… You mean the type to look at a stormy sky all serious and go “it’s coming…”

Nagi: Wrapping their arms in bandages… 

Momiji: Aw, c’mon, Toi-kun’s actually a year older than you, you know? 

Daniel: Well, this kinda stuff depends on the person.

Netaro: I have absolutely no clue what this conversation is about. 

Yodaka: We’re talking about how we should go along with Toi’s change in attitude, Netaro.

Netaro: I see! 

Nagi: When he goes back to normal, forget everything. Just pretend like nothing ever happened.

Daniel: That’s the perfect attitude to have as an adult.

Momiji: Alright, let’s go with that. 

Momiji: (I’m worried about Toi-kun… We should find Ryui-kun quickly so that he can return back to normal…!)

Note:

The Hakodate Daimon Yokocho is the largest food stall village in Hokkaido.

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Masterlist

[jjbabies]

anonymously donating a bunch of stuffies for the daycare toy bins! there are a couple of penguins, a stingray, an octopus, a squid, a massive glittery fish, a wolf, a big fluffy caterpillar, a bunch of teddy bears, and a strange sock monster that doesn’t really look like anything but a lump with six googly eyes glued on it randomly. i hope the kiddos enjoy them! could you let us know which ones they gravitate towards? i have plenty more stuffies i can give! :))

(also i promise i washed the stuffies first with hypoallergenic gentle soap so the babies don’t get sick or itchy!)

have a great day, caregiver sunny!

Oh my!! That’s so generous of you! A few of our stuffed animals are on their last threads, so we’ll be retiring them. They each get to go home with our staff!

-Midler went straight for the stingray! She loves flapping the wings to make it fly

-The penguins were taken by Narancia and Mista. They’re trying to make them fly with a toy airplane

-Kars was torn between the caterpillar and octopus, but he ended up picking the latter! He’s been inspecting every little detail on it

-Foo Fighters was the only one brave enough to take the sock monster. They had a blast!

-The teddy bears went to Gyro, Usagi, Okuyasu, and Kakyoin! They made a teddy bear party!

-The wolf was picked right up by Jonathan. He made sure it got to eat some of his lunch

-Giorno took the caterpillar. He used it as a fluffy pillow during nap time!

-It’s no surprise that Aya picked the glitter fish. It’s so pretty!

-Our last friend, the squid, was picked by Jotaro. He wore it on his head like a funny hat!

Thank you again for the donation. We always appreciate gifts from caring people like you!

[fandomfluffandfuck]

its my birthday soon, Mr. S!

mayhaps you could write something about Seb making himself go stupid (either with his hand or with something more…. siliconey, if you will) and Chris catching him?

tysm!! 🫶🏻

I've had this prompt for a really long time, so I have the feeling that your birthday has passed, and I'm sorry about not getting to this sooner. Regardless, happy belated birthday!

Also, this got, uh, dirty. Moreso than usual, maybe? Idk, depending on your version of dirty because if we're going silicone and going dumb, then let's fucking GO because--

First and formost, I think that perhaps these terribly filthy thoughts have been inspired by the stony fic, "Alien sex toys are safer than admitting your feelings, until they're not" by pouringinsheets that you may or may not be interested in because it's stony but 🥴🥴 Steve and tentacles? Guh. Sign me the fuck up.

So, tentacles, that'd be so embarrassing to go dumb over, wouldn't it, Seb? 😏

(Something like, Ika® the Tentacle from Bad Dragon perhaps?)

Honestly, Mackie probably bought the toy for Seb as a gag gift on a loooong press tour, knowing after one too many drinks that he was missing his man badly. And sexual frustration resulting from being trapped on a whirlwind press tour away from your friends and family will make you do weird shit sometimes. Weird shit, like, for example, buying your dear friend inappropriate things and winking and nudging him when you finally hand it over, saying he should put it to good use, maybe later tonight even, because it's Tuesday and you know your friend and his boyfriend FaceTime on Tuesdays 'cause that's the only night, no matter what you do do, you can't wear Sebastian down to going out with you.

So.

It's Mackie's fault.

He's a true troublemaker.

And after just about dying of mortification (and threatening Mackie to never tell him anything again if he's going to use his insider knowledge for evil like this) Sebastian originally was going to toss the gag gift toy into the bottom of his suitcase and be done with it. He would throw it away... give it away (is that a thing you can do? It's not like he's going to open it, and he doesn't want it to be a massive waste, so? Maybe?)... or whatever. He was definitely going to get rid of the evidence.

He never wanted to think about the damn thing again, so big, blue (actually a pretty tasteful light into dark blue fade that, because Sebastian is hopelessly in love, made him think of the emoji Chris is so fond of using 💙), and shaped so intensely like, well, something not human. A tentacle. Maybe an octopus? A squid? Maybe an alien? Sebastian isn't sure. And he swore, to himself, as he buried the toy in its box under his packed clothes, toiletries, and other travel clutter, that he would burst into flames if he so much as thought about it again. So, he had to hide it. There was nothing else to be done. He couldn't face it.

But, goddamnit, as the days drag on and on, Sebastian just can't get the obscene thing out of his head. Press is mind-numbing with the same questions repeated until he can spit out answers in his sleep. It's natural that he needs something else to focus on, then, right? It's just unfortunate that his fixation is over a fucking joke sex toy.

And it's just that... that he's never seen anything like it. He didn't know of such a brand. Bad Dragon? He refuses to look it up to see if all the toys are like the one Mackie got him, so he lives in a stupidly intriguing (for whatever reason) mystery. Also, a tentacle? Dragons don't even, traditionally, at least, have those. Huh?

More than the questionable branding and, probably, more than just needing something to fill his mind, Seb can't get the phallic fucking thing, heavy in its box at the bottom of his bag, out of his head for the sheer idea of it.

Looking at the graphic graphic on the outside of the box with its connal shape and textured suckers, Seb couldn't imagine what it would feel like in the nonexistent scenario where it was inside him.

Any sex toy he's ever owned has had one of two textures--smooth or ribbed. Smooth, soft silicone that sinks into him satisfyingly easy, gliding with the right about of lube, or more rigid ribbed surfaces that tug against his rim and rub deep inside him until he's clenching and gasping. He's never had something where there are repeated raised circles on one side, then on the other, there's nothing. It's just smooth. Both at once have to be confusing at worst and overwhelming at best, right?

Still, he can't imagine what it would actually feel like. So, naturally, his curious mind dwells on it. More and more. The thoughts invade him at every hour.

How different would it be from any other insertable sex toy? Would he be able to differentiate the textured side from the smooth side? How soft or hard is the body of the toy itself? It looks... squishy. Does the slight curve and curve back of the shape do anything? Does it feel different, assuming that it's rigid enough to keep that shape when shoved inside him?Would it feel good at all if he fucke himself with it? Surely there's something to it, otherwise it wouldn't be sold, right?

Right?

Sebastian goes in fucking circles, driving himself insane with the thoughts and the ensuing embarrassment the thoughts bring. He zones out, falling into the vortex of questions with no answers over this god forsaken tentacle sex toy. Then, when he realizes what he's doing, spiraling, he goes pink. Everywhere. Pink. And, at that point, he can't help but squirm in his seat, wherever he is, desperately hoping--sometimes in dire situations where he's thinking especially inappropriate thoughts--that no one within his vicinity can secretly read minds. If they could, he would know, though. Because he's sure the shock and probable disgust would be written across his face.

Sebastian isn't, he doesn't--he wouldn't kink shame. But there's a difference, he's finding, in himself where what he wouldn't really actually judge someone else for being into, he would certainly judge himself for being into. Wonderful.

Not that...

No.

He's not into this! He's just curious. That's it.

And that's probably not his favorite thought, considering the last time he was curious about something that something was men and then he went on a bender kissing and doing other stuff with basically any guy at any club he could get into until he was scared he was getting to famous to do that. So he cooled it off and fought his way to the acceptance of his own bisexuality.

Seb circles the drain, downward spiral getting nowhere, until he's finally, finally, finally home. Home sweet home in his tiny New York City apartment where he's chaotically ripping into his suitcase, unpacking and mostly flinging dirty clothes into the laundry basket, when he finds it. It's not even an oh yeah moment because he didn't forget. He doesn't really find it. He knew exactly where he was.

There it is.

Big. Blue. Shaped just like a tentacle. And, somehow, heavier than he remembers. It's hefty. Probably thick and definitely long.

Sebastian licks his lips.

He can't...

Push comes to shove, and he can't bring himself to throw it out because, because, because think of all the waste! That's so much silicone. So much time and effort to rot in a landfill. Because, well, he's curious. And because, oh no--

The devil on Seb's shoulder decides to raise its tiny little fit and hits him over the back of his head with a thought.

A rush of thoughts, really.

Disappointingly, Chris couldn't meet him at his NYC apartment like they had hoped after months--that's right pural--of being separated, schedule conflicts with their stupid fucking careers of auditioning, filming on site, then filming at this other site, waiting for editing, and going on press tours all over everywhere, so Sebastian is, just, frustrated by himself. He's wishing he weren't by himself. And he's thinking about Chris, as he always seems to be. He's thinking about the fantastic, crazy reunion sex they'd be having if he was here instead of Sebastian unpacking right away. Seb is thinking about how toe-curling-ly nice it is when Chris gets caught up in the moment and gets rough and shoves and takes and suddenly, yeah, oh fucking no because Seb's mind is full of that toy.

Not just that single toy as it lies limp in its box, though. It's worse. With the devil-on-his-shoulder's terrible influence, Seb's mind is full of that toy it it was even more wriggling and bigger and stronger and alive.

He is hit like a hurricane, blowing out a rushing breath of hot air, thinking about tentacles being rough with him. Involuntarily, Sebastian lets out a little sound. A tiny, under his breath whimper.

Rougher than Chris, even. Tentacles made of coiling muscle, hot and slick, sliding over his skin to tangle him up in their grasp like living ropes tying his body into the most challenging shibari poses where he struggles to stay. Sebastian wouldn't be able to be folded and molded into those positions if not for the rough tentacles using him mindlessly. Taking. Plundering and claiming. Merciless inside him, uncaring how much pleasure Sebastian does or doesn't get. Sebastian is riding high on pleasure, though, eyes rolling back as one of them creeps between his straining, spread-wide thighs and screws itself into him. Stuffing him full. Deep.

Oh.

If it were really spectacularly rough and hungerily plundering and deliciously merciless, though, it wouldn't just be his ass. The tentacles would be in all his holes, wouldn't they?

Through his bottom lip stuck between his teeth, Sebastian whimpers again. Muffled, yet louder than before, as he sinks into the most pornographic corners of his mind. New fantasies forming dizzingly fast.

The tentacles, thick and long and hot, so fucking strong, could go up his ass and down his throat, and he would feel so full. Nearly bursting at the seams. They could tangle up in his belly, keeping him full and heavy, and--they could be even more places, couldn't they?

Another sound, a moan from a memory meshing and combining with his newfound obsession--

Chris has sounded him a handful of times--not enough, but their lives are batshit insane and it's so intense and time consuming--and every time he's had that cold, glistening metal rod shoved down his urethra, Sebastian has been sure he's cumming the whole time. Oh, god. It's the most intense thing. It hurts. It feels too fucking good. It's like being fucked from the inside out. It's pumping waves of pleasure, shattering him with each peak. Every fraction of an inch deeper the sound goes, the higher Seb's voice goes.

Jesus.

The tentacles could shove down into his cock, raw and hard, and be everywhere, forcing his legs open, restraining his arms, fucking hard into his ass, tugging at his balls, curling around the shaft of his cock, forcing themselves down into his cock, squeezing his waist like they're trying to feel themselves tangled in his gut, fucked down his throat, too. Bruising him wherever they hold and grab him. Taking him.

Fuck me.

Sebastian shivers so hard, so suddenly that he drops the box onto the floor, narrowly missing his toes.

He needs it.

He needs to be taken, and this toy will have to do. It's the only thing that will do. He has others tucked away in his bedside drawer, but this is what he wants. Needs.

Fumbling to pick up the box containing what he desires so badly, Sebastian grabs that fucking thing, suddenly uncaring about how wierd and self-conscious this feels, rips the cardboard and plastic open, and rushes into his tiny bathroom to wash it quickly with warm water.

Unthinking, Sebastian strips himself as rapidly as he can from his sweats and old, thin t-shirt before climbing into bed with it and lube.

He almost forgets the lube. He's so out of sorts, consumed by his sexual frustration. And that might become the next most embarrassing thing other than the shape of what he's about to put inside himself. When was the last time he was this uncontrollably desperate?

Sprawled out, now also without his underwear, panting, in his own bed, just himself and this mortifyingly bright blue tentacle, Sebastian does it. He starts getting himself ready to be fucked by this thing. He cracks open the lube and gets his fingers covered liberally, dripping really, so they're glistening in the low light before wasting no time to shove one, then, two, and three fingers inside himself.

Guh.

Face down on the bed, reaching around to finger himself, Seb finds himself drooling, just a little, into the sheets that he cleaned before he left; he was planning to come home to a nice, made bed, that he's now ruining, he doesn't give a shit, though, just like he wouldn't've cared if he had been able to come home to Chris and they fucked up his bed together. His bed, the wall, the couch, or anything. Sebastian would've taken anything gladly. It's been too long since he had something inside him. He's just been jerking off and passing out after press tour late nights mostly. This is... yeah.

Yeah, fuck yeah, this is good.

Three fingers deep, twisting his wrist sharply to press against the edge of his prostate, brushing past, leaving his mouth gaping, his toes twitching. Curling. A harsh breath is kicked out of him. Oof. Pleasure rockets through him, electric, as he makes a more direct hit. The angle isn't perfect, and he definitely won't be able to do this for too long, but still, it's... oh.

God.

Yes.

Seb just barely tears his fingers from his own body. It feels so good. But, he's even more enticed by what's waiting for him, a whimper caught in the back of his throat.

He's, he's stretched enough now, right? He can--he can take it.

He'll be good, relax, and go slow. He can do it.

He will do it.

Sebastian picks up the oddly shaped toy, fingers wet and shaking as he smothers in it lube as well, his dick twitching to an even worse, more aching hardness with the slick sounds it makes. Smooth and textured.

He can't fucking wait another minute longer to stuff it into himself, so he doesn't. He puts the tapered tip to his stretched entrance and--

"Ohhhhh," he exclaims breathily, humid air rushing out of him as it slides in. At first, it's easy--so, so easy. He stretched himself much wider than the tip of the tentacle, but rapidly, it gets harder.

Hard.

The silicone is soft at the surface, yet there's just enough give to make it feel exotic and unreal, squishy, with just enough rigidity to keep it able to go inside him. He can clench on it hard, but he can also shove it in. Deeper. Fuck--god.

The toy is so slippery when it's coated in lube, and the sensation of it sliding into him is too fucking erotic. But it's only that dangerously, teasingly smooth on one side, feeling indescribably good as his body easily takes the smoothness. The raised suckers on the other side catch on him rim, then give as it thickens, forcing his body to accommodate. It's much wider and even wider than that as he stuffs it into himself, nearing the base.

Another garbled sound exits Sebastian as it enters him. He shivers.

He's already addicted to the difference. It's good. He doesn't know which he likes better so it's so fucking nice that he can have both, causing his head to spin, off-balance in the a way that's good-scary. It feels good. Unfamiliar in a rare delicacy sort of way. He's spread and vulnerable and taking it.

He gets the entire thing into himself, sweating himself into a puddle, and revels in it for too long. Teasing himself, clenching and relaxing around it. It's soft enough that it... it almost wiggles inside him. It's wriggly and soft and Sebastian wouldn't've thought that'd be hot but it fucking is.

More than feeling it filling him, stretching his body open, vulnerable and slutty, he wants it to move. And he may or may not cry out hotly thinking about how good it would be if it really could pump in and out of him by itself. Fucking him. He wants to get fucked so bad.

So, so fucking bad, he needs to be fucked, so even though he's melted into a puddle of heat, sweat, and pre-cum from the dripping slit of his cock, Seb steadies his legs as much as he can, getting them under himself to straddle the nearest pillow. He snatches it up and folds it over and shoves that between his thighs, knowing that when he grinds against in, no matter how pathetic and needy his thrusting is, it will push on the pillow and make the pillow shove firmly against the base of the toy, jostling it, making it almost, almost feel like a thrust. At least, it feels like the toy is moving inside him on its own if he shuts his eyes and let's his head drop back heavily, not thinking. Feeling.

Plus, fucking his pillow like this, fucking himself, squirming, leaves his hands free to touch himself. Free to feel up his own heaving, sweat-slick chest and pinch his hard, tight nipples; free to fondle his pulsing cock and tight balls; free to put his hands palm down on his quivering thighs, feeling his own shaky strength as he rides his pillow.

Helpless to control his volume as he grinds and humps, swiveling his hips, bouncing, riding, he gets louder and louder.

He's fucking loud.

He's moaning and whining, and he keeps hitting his prostate, and there's nothing he can do to choke down the crack that splits his voice.

"Fuh-uck!" He jumps an octave or two as his voice cracks.

He's so loud, getting into it so much, imagining the toy growing, longer and thicker, twisting up inside him. Screwing into him until he's stretched wide around it, made sloppy and loose, full of slick wetness from a tentacle. Used by a tentacle that shows just how fucking deep his appetite for getting fucked and filled goes. He'll take anything.

Anything.

He's so loud that he doesn't notice until--

SLAM!

All at once, his bedroom door comes crashing open with a deafening sound, the wood hitting his wall. It's like the shaking collusion and resulting sound rattles the entire apartment.

Exactly then, Sebastian's heart stops dead from the thundering, pounding speed it was going at.

Huh?What?Who? The words rush through his mind, no meaning, just shock. He's panicked half a second later, processing more, realizing what's happening. Then, he's fucking mortified to be found by a home intruder like this but, but, it gonna be worse than that isn't it because what if they know who he is and then this gets out to the media and it will be worse than if his phone got hacked and all those photos he's send with Chr--

Chris.

Holy fucking shit.

CHRIS.

It's Chris.

And he, well, he looks like he nearly just punched the door down. One of his hands is clenched around the door knob as if he wants to dent the fucking thing while the other hovers in the air, somewhere between looking like he was about to pound on the door, knocking hard, or running through his hair, messing it up, tugging at the strands in pure sexual frustration. (He's not the only one, Sebastian had been about to start pulling his own hair to push himself over the edge.) The expression on his face is dripping in arousal--smeared and wet, so thickly, freshly painted with heat. Dark eyes. Hot cheeks. Lips swollen, red, and wet. Really, it's not just his cheeks that are flushed, he's pink all the way down to the collar of his shirt.

Was he listening to Sebastian's sounds through the door, ear pressed to it? How long was he there before he broke? Did he shoulder it open to get to him as fast as possible? Driven thoughtless and stupid by all the blood rushing to his dick? There are no answers to Seb's questions.

There's no time because, Jesus, Seb can't help but mewl, grinding harder despite his shame. The embarrassment of being caught red-handed entangles him like his imaginary tentacles, adding to the heat he already feels. He is molten. Blazing, white-hot.

Seb hardly gets just one single grind against his wet, teeth-gritting-friction-providing pillow before Chris takes one, two huge lunging steps toward the bed, clearing the room to fucking tackle him flat to the bed. He crushes him bodily to the mattress, all that height and weight, squishing him. Seb can't breathe. He doesn't want to. Even through his clothes, Chris is furnace-hot, he feels good. So solid and heavy and good.

Chris barely has half the mind to growl, "surprise."

Meanwhile, Seb just moans.

Chris hardly has his mitts on him, his blunt fingernails digging into his bare flesh, but Sebastian already knows where this is going. He knows what Chris is going to do to him, and he's ready, out of his mind, to beg for it.

He's so, so totally naked, exposed, while Chris clings to the illusion of being restrained and unaffected, covered head to toe by his everyday clothes. Chris is going to use that, the sham of being controlled.

Chris is going to order him around, shove him around.

Chris is going to embarrass him until Seb's sure he's going to melt into the ground from sheer mortification.

Chris is going to make him cum with the toy before he fucks him. He will fuck him but... first--once he puuuulls the toy out slowly and shoves it in deep, seeing what Seb's working with--Seb will have to admit why he has a monster toy shoved into him.

What about it?

Why's it hot?

What's going on here, baby? This is so dirty, even for you.

There will be no way around it, no way out, for Sebastian. He'll have to stutter and whine and choke through his confession. He's going to have to spread himself open more than just physically, moaning about how he couldn't stop thinking about it, too curious, sobbing over toe-curling the texture, gasping with the thought of being completely pinned, helpless to stop it, writhing at the idea of being taken from every angle.

It'll make Chris smirk, doing that evil thing with the curl of his lips and quirk of one eyebrow. Too hot for his own good. Sebastian will whine, pretending to hate it, even though he can't stop shivering, can't stop begging for Chris, saying his name, clawing at him, clinging to him, cumming when Chris promises to give it to him. He wants to be overwhelmed? Chris can overwhelm him.

Just you wait and see, baby. Just to wait and see...

Jokes on Sebastian, though, because none of that will actually happen if he blacks out from heart-attach-inducing lust before Chris can do anything.

P.S. I hope that was worth the wait! (And thanks for reading this far, lol)