#also okay. the girl i sat next to during the ceremony was bigger than me

[housecow]

i love being very fat. but i was talking to my bff about how big my grad gown was and how i sized it according to height and weight but she goes. “you should’ve gotten it smaller because you’re big but not THAT fat”

and now becoming THAT fat is a goal

[marveloussupernerd]

Please Just... Comfort Me - 707

YA GIRL is playing another story for the first time and I’m on the day 4 branch and I’m getting V’s route and... it’s so dramatic!? I need a fic written abt it right tf now. Also yes I’m making this happen during V’s route but be about 707 leave me alone

Warnings: spoilers for V’s route

Summary: after an insane turn of events at your ceremony, you’re locked back in your room. You’re distressed. V won’t answer, Ray is gone... you can’t tell him anything, but at least Seven would make you feel better

Ray led you back to your room, hand gently holding your arm to make sure you wouldn’t run off, not that you would, it didn’t go well the first time.

He opened the door to your room, leading you in. “I’m so sorry to ask this of you, but will you be okay with staying in your room for a little? I promise I’ll visit right after I talk with the Savior. I just need to know you won’t go anywhere.”

How were you supposed to answer that? He had lied to you. About everything. Your mind was racing with these chatrooms that were with actual people, the fact he wanted you to spy on them, the strange origin of this “place,” the last thing you wanted was to be locked in a small room. But you had now seen Ray upset and it was unpleasant.

You nodded, biting your lip as though that would help stop your eyes watering. “Mhm,” you hummed, unable to form words.

“You’re crying...” his hand went up to wipe your tears but he decided against it, putting it back down by his side. “Please don’t cry. I promise everything will be okay.”

“Okay,” you nodded, sniffling a little. “I’ll be here.” You moved to sit on your bed as he let out a sigh of relief, smiling as he left the room, a lock sounding on the door.

Now you were locked in here.

You didn’t want to be on this bed. You sat on the floor, in a corner, the moon and starlight being the only thing illuminating the room. What else were you going to do in this situation? You pulled out your phone and called V.

He didn’t answer. That made sense, since he was on the run.

You called Seven. He should be up right now.

He picked up on the second ring. “Hello! What can I do for ya at this hour?”

You sniffled. You should have stopped your crying before you called. “Just wanted to say hi...”

“You’re crying.”

You let out a laugh, the sound strangled as it mixed with your sobs. He wasn’t wrong. “I’m aware of that.”

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” You could hear his chair squeak as he leaned back in it.

“I... can’t. You know I can’t.” Your voice was small as you spoke. There was no reason he had to talk to you. How could he comfort you if you wouldn’t even explain why you were upset? “This was dumb, I’m so sorry.”

“No no! It’s okay. I know you’re in a weird situation where you can’t say much.”

“I’m not a bad person Seven,” you whimpered. “I know your background checks have come up empty and everything is secret but I promise I’m not bad.”

“I can tell you’re not bad. Plus, V says you’re good, and I want to trust him.”

“I just- ughhh. This is all so much bigger than me. And I just realized it. I’m overwhelmed.” You let your head fall against the wall in defeat.

“Eating always makes me feel better. Or sleeping. That way you’re distracted.”

“I...” you paused, hesitantly. It was weird now. You thought you were pursuing an AI, but you had actually been pursuing a real human being with fiery hair and stupid jokes that never failed to make you laugh. “Do you think you can comfort me?”

“Oh boy,” he sounded nervous. “I’ll try. No, no, I’ll succeed. God Seven to the rescue!”

You chuckled. He was always good at making you laugh.

“I like your laugh. Makes me less nervous about having to cheer you up. Hmmm what should I talk about?”

“You have any fun stories?” You asked, slumping back on the wall more, tears forgotten.

“Do you like the beach?”

An odd question. “I do like the beach.”

“I dunno when you first went to the beach, but I didn’t go until I was older. I almost think everyone’s first trip to the beach should be when they’re older, so they can really remember it.”

“What was it like for you then?”

Seven laughed. “I remember I saw the sand, then took off my shoes and sprinted over to it. I had never been in the sand before. And it stuck all over my feet but I was excited. I was fully dressed besides my shoes, and I just full out sprinted to the water.”

“That’s honestly adorable.”

“And then I stood there, right where the waves met the shore. Even though I was old it was kind of scary? Like if the waves were strong enough they could definitely pull me under. But also I was only in to my ankles so it was funny I was nervous.”

“Seven... this is so cute,” you gushed. You knew your cheeks were heating up. Seven was always fun but it was special to hear him talk about such an important memory.

“Anyways. I only got in to my ankles that day. The sun was setting when I got there. The next day I went back and actually got in.”

“Aw! I wanna see little Seven at the ocean.”

“I was actually not little; I was about to enter college,” he commented matter-of-factly.

You just grinned. You couldn’t stop smiling. That was so Seven.

“You’re silent.”

Oops! You had forgotten to respond. “I’m just- that was a sweet story. It made me smile and it’s just so you. This sounds dumb but like... you’re you. You have complex thoughts and funny stories and cute moments. It’s hard since I’ve only talked to you over the phone. But you’re so... dimensional and bright Seven. I really like that about you.” He was real. And that’s what mattered. Seven was real.

He laughed. “I’m flattered to hear you think I have emotions? I would hope I did! Are you feeling any better?”

“So, so much better.” It was the truth. You were giggling over the phone, much more confident that V and Seven would save you and it would be okay.

A knock sounded at your door.

“Oops! I kept you on for too long. Good night Sev!”

“Good night! Hope you sleep well.”

Click.

Ray walked into the room, somewhat surprised to see you at the entrance. “I would have thought you had fallen asleep,” he explained awkwardly. “The lights were off. But you were laughing.”

“Oh, yeah. I was just, uh, playing the game.”

“Were you making a call?”

You nodded, trying to feign complete innocence. “I was talking to the hacker character.”

He stared at you blankly, his expressions not giving any thoughts away.

“Wait! I thought you meant V was the only real one. It made sense to me since you couldn’t pursue V in the game. I didn’t realize he also...”

Of course you realized. But you had to satisfy Ray.

He sighed, rubbing his temple. “Yes, but he’s the worst of them all. Did you tell him about tonight? What did you talk about?”

“Oh, no, I would never let them know what happened here. That’s our secret.” You giggled a little. “We actually just talked about the beach.”

“The beach?”

“Yeah. I was feeling stressed and it was the first topic that came to mind. Do you like the beach, Ray?”

He looked away from you. “I’ve... never been.”

“We’ll have to go someday! Or make a beach experience here. You’d really like it.”

“Okay,” he smiled. “We’ll do that after the ceremony. Thank you again for staying here with me. I promise I’ll bring you a fresh bouquet tomorrow.

Stay on his side for now, you reminded yourself. You took a step closer to him, hands trembling, and pulled him in for a hug. He jumped at first but reciprocated.

“I haven’t done this very much,” he explained awkwardly. One of his hands went down to rub your back comfortingly.

“Ray... I was scared.” That wasn’t a lie. You were scared. You still are.

“I know. Me too.” He pulled back to look at you. “Do you want some tea to help you fall asleep?”

V’s words rang in your mind. Don’t take anything they give you. “No thanks! Your presence... really helped. Thank you.”

“Okay. I’ll leave you to get some rest. Sweet dreams! And don’t worry about those other people. I’ll take care of it!” He closed the door behind him.

You would worry about those other people. You were relieved you got to talk to Seven, but you were worried about any more secrets Ray had against him that he could use in order to force you to stay here.

[softdadcarlos]

(You’re) Having My Baby

Masterlist

Fandom: Resident Evil/Biohazard

Pairing: Jill/Carlos

AU: Family Life

Summary: After a couple years of being happily married, Jill and Carlos are ready to grow their little family of two.

Requested by @vgames-lover​ and three anonymous users because yet again I combined requests! The title is taken from the song of the same name by Paul Anka and you’ll see why.

It was November 2003 and Jill had been suffering from a stomach bug for about week. She was a bit concerned, maybe the take out she had ordered - Carlos was out with Chris and Leon for Leon’s bachelor party - was bad as she had thrown up the next day and those following. Carlos, despite being slightly hungover, was there to hold her hair back as she muttered curses and promises never to order from that restaurant again. However, being very much under the weather meant she couldn’t go on the mission she was scheduled for and she counted her blessing that Claire’s bachelorette party had been the day before Leon’s. But Jill would not let some mystery illness stop her from attending her friends’ wedding, it would take much more than throwing up in the morning to stop her. Carlos, for his part, kept a close eye on her, understandably worried until he noticed something she murmured to herself while getting ready for the ceremony.

“Need to get new bras, these ones are starting to make my nipples hurt.”

Normally, those kinds of statements would be overlooked by someone who couldn’t put two and two together. But Carlos never overlooked anything when it came to Jill, it might have been a result of trauma but he felt the niggling urge to keep an eye on her, make sure she was safe and okay. So it was safe to say he was starting to piece together a picture and, if he was right about it, it was a picture he had wanted to paint for about a year at that point. He felt butterflies in his stomach at the thought of it.

He noticed her struggling to zip up her dress and went over to help, “You know, I think it might be worth picking up a pregnancy test on our way to the venue. We have been trying for a couple of months after all. We should also stay clear of alcohol today, just in case.”

Jill turned to him, a pensive look on her face, “You really think so?”

Carlos pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and gave her a reassuring smile, “Better safe than sorry.”

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Jill was impatient throughout the ceremony, wanting to get to the bathroom as soon as possible. She was happy for her friends, she really was, and it was sweet seeing Sherry be flower girl yet again, this time for her adoptive parents but after what Carlos had said earlier she just had to know. So as soon as the ceremony was over and it was time for the reception, Jill sped away into the bathroom with the pregnancy test in her over the shoulder bag. Carlos was not aware that she was rushing to take the test. No, the poor man was none the wiser and followed after her, worried that she was having another bout of sickness. His concern grew when she locked the bathroom door behind her. He sighed, leaning against the wall as he waited for her to come out. He was stood there for about 5 minutes before he heard the door unlock and Jill emerged.

He grasped her shoulders, worry in his eyes as he looked her over, “Are you okay?”

“I’m more than okay. Carlos, I’m pregnant,” She beamed at him, tears welling up.

Carlos pulled her into a hug, kissing the crown of her head, “Hello pregnant, I’m dad.”

“Seriously? You’re starting with the terrible fucking dad jokes now?” Jill groaned, nuzzling into his neck.

He shrugged, “I’m a dad now, it’s my job to make bad jokes that embarrass my family.”

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Although Carlos said that they both wouldn’t drink, Jill managed to convince him that he should be allowed to drink as they were now celebrating two things. She got a few looks from their friends as she turned away drinks because if there was something Jill never said no to, it was a free drink. Instead, she would either pass the offered drink to Carlos or sip on some sort of soft drink with an excuse of “I’m the designated driver.” But maybe she made a mistake passing drinks to him. Even though they agreed to stay quiet until the next day as not to detract attention away from the newlywed couple, there Carlos was, fucking serenading her.

“Having my baby. What a lovely way of saying how much you love me. Having my baby. What a lovely way of saying what you're thinking of me.” Carlos sang over the sound of the reception, on one knee, cradling her hand between his as their friends stared at them.

He was cut off before he could continue by Claire rushing over to envelope Jill in a hug, “Oh my god! Jill, you’re pregnant?! How long have you known?”

Jill’s face was red under all the attention, “Today… although I feel Carlos had an inkling sooner since he’s the one that suggested I buy a test this morning.”

“This is the best wedding gift! I’m going to be an auntie!”

The rest of the evening was filled with congratulations and getting Carlos to drink enough water to sober up slightly so he wouldn’t be as hungover in the morning. Chris helped to get Carlos home, insisting that since she was pregnant she shouldn’t be lugging her husband around. A husband that was now just speaking Spanish and making Jill very very thankful Chris only knew the basics of the language as Carlos was getting rather… colourful in verbally displaying his affection to his wife. Chris even opted to stay in their guest room as they had “much to talk about” the next morning.

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The following day saw Chris and Rebecca sat on one sofa as Jill and Carlos, who was nursing a slight hangover that wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, sat on the opposite one. They hadn’t been expecting Rebecca to knock on their door at 10am but they weren’t entirely surprised since she had been the one to keep an eye on Jill’s health over the years.

“First things first, I’m going to state the obvious: You won’t be able to go on missions for about one year at the very least. Not only would it be dangerous for the baby for you to still go while pregnant, but pregnancy and birth itself is traumatic for the body. You’ll need time to recuperate afterwards. I recommend a two-year leave. Maybe longer depending on how quickly you get back into a fit state.” Rebecca declared sternly, eyeing up the coffee Jill had in front of her.

Chris crossed his arms, “We knew that already. I was planning to talk about her leave today and have her help me pick out a suitable temporary replacement for the meantime.”

Jill was about to take a sip of her coffee when Rebecca reached her hand out and covered the top of it.

“Sorry Jill, but it’s going to be decaf until after the post-birth recovery period.”

Carlos took the coffee from her and headed into the kitchen with it and his own.

Jill levelled Rebecca with a stare, “Decaf tastes like burnt toast.”

Carlos came back in with two glasses of orange juice, “It’s for the good of you and pequeño. But you won’t have to suffer a coffeeless world alone, whatever you’re not allowed, I won’t have either.”

Jill smiled at him as she accepted the offered juice, hand coming to rest on his knee once he was seated again.

“What else is there ‘Becca? What do I need to purge from the pantry.” Carlos asked, lacing his fingers with Jill’s.

Rebecca reached into her bag and pulled a document from its confines, “It’s all written here but I’ll give you a brief rundown. Unpasteurised or mould-ripened dairy products are a no go. Uncooked meats, liver, any and all pates and game meats are not to be eaten. Liver contains high amounts of Vitamin A which can be harmful to the baby. Raw and partially cooked eggs as well as: duck, goose or quail eggs are dangerous unless cooked solid, no runny eggs.” She flicked over to the next page, “Oily fish is to be limited to two portions a week. Tuna should be limited to 140g a week as it contains the most mercury than any other fish. Swordfish, marlin, shark meat and raw shellfish should be avoided. Sadly herbal teas should be limited to four cups a day if you were looking to them as a replacement for coffee. Fruits and vegetables must be thoroughly washed before eating or cooking. Oh and no multivitamin supplements as they can contain vitamin A. That should be about it.”

She handed the document to Jill who was frowning. Carlos had been nodding along the entire time, Jill could see the cogs working away in his head as he thought about what was currently in their kitchen cupboards.

“Is there anything that needs doing asap?” Jill asked.

“A simple urine test to see how far along you are, then we can try to predict a due date.”

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The due date they had been given was for mid-August and an ultrasound scan during the second trimester revealed they’d be having a baby girl. Carlos had reached out to Barry to help them set up a nursery as well as set up a birthing plan, a fount of knowledge thanks to being a father of two. One thing Jill hadn’t accounted for was Carlos becoming more protective than he had been before. He hardly let her in her office, saying that she might stress herself out and that wouldn’t be good for her or the baby. If she wanted to go out with the girls for a chill night, he would text her every half hour to make sure she was okay. She wasn’t mad, not at all. In fact, she completely understood his behaviour. It was just… a tad much sometimes. The bigger her stomach became the more anxious he became about her going out because “What if something happens and I can’t be there to help.”

So there Jill was, sat between her husband’s legs as she leant against him playing Animal Crossing (a game she had grown addicted to much to Carlos’ relief) on the GameCube he bought her as an apology for his worrying ways. She had started taking to wearing his clothes instead of the expensive maternity they had bought because she just found them more comfortable and comforting. Carlos wasn’t complaining, loving the sight of his rounded wife waddling about in his clothes. He had his arms resting around her front, hands pressed to her belly under his baggy shirt, feeling their pequeño’s little kicks. She was definitely going to be a fighter like her mum, that much Carlos could tell.

As it was August, Carlos had a hospital packed and ready to go as well as Barry on speed dial. They had decided on a hospital birth instead of a home birth just in case there were complications at Barry’s suggestion after all. Jill felt a little bad for the older former S.T.A.R.S member, Carlos had been picking his brains ever since they formally announced the pregnancy.

“Carlos playing this game makes me see why you were a communist. Slaving away to pay a raccoon who does nothing is insulting. Fucking Tom Nook-”

Carlos was chuckling until his wife cut herself off, “What is it?”

“...I think my water just broke…”

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Twelve laborious hours later and Eliza Anne Valentine was welcomed into the world. Sure Carlos’ hand hurt like a bitch but he wasn’t complaining if the small chubby baby in Jill’s arms was the end result. He smiled as he watched the scene. Jill was sweaty, her hair a mess as she tiredly greeted their child, stroking her small round cheeks.

“Hello there Eliza, I’m your mama. I’m going to make the world a safe place for you. I promise.” She looked to Carlos, unshed tears in her eyes, “Do you want to hold her?”

Carlos nodded unable to form words with how his throat tightened. Carefully, oh so carefully, they passed the small bundle of joy from one to the other. And upon seeing his daughter’s face, he started crying. She had his nose and her mother’s mouth. Her hair was dark but matted with embryonic fluids so there was no way of telling its actual colour in that moment. He wondered what colour eyes she’d have when she finally opens them. But no matter what traits she took, Carlos didn’t care. She was made from them and their love. She was going to be perfect in his eyes no matter what.

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A/N: To break your hearts further, the way Jill’s maternity leave works out means her first mission back is the one she “dies” in.

I love hearing from you guys! Please tell me what parts you liked!

Requests are temporarily closed. I'm also on twitter @mxbelmounte.

[ronninoir]

Can I Steal You For A Second? Chapter 24

Summary: Adrien is forced to participate in a new dating show, but becomes more excited when Ladybug says she’ll participate as her civilian self.

AKA: AU where Adrien doesn’t know Marinette, the superheroes are 22 and Gabriel is mean and ruthless but not Hawkmoth.

Read on AO3

Start from the beginning Chp 1 on AO3

Chapter 24

That night, Marinette locked herself, Juliette, and Hanna in the closet and gave them the low down of what happened to Lila on the group date, only leaving out what Lila had hanging over Marinette’s head all week.

“Oh my gosh, how is she still in the mansion?!” Hanna asked, crossing her arms against her chest, as Juliette nodded. Marinette had never seen Hanna this angry before. “If it’s proven that she purposely tried to sabotage you, then send her home.”

“He’s trying to give her a second chance, because that’s the kind of person he is,” Marinette explained, trying very hard to keep her frustration with the situation out of her voice. Marinette agreed with Hanna and Juliette, but she had to stand with her partner, no matter how stupid of a decision this was.

“Just because it’s ‘in his nature’ doesn’t mean he has to let her walk all over him,” Juliette pointed out. She opened her mouth like she was going to continue, but then let out a gasp. “Does this mean I have to be nice to her from now on?” The disgust in her voice matched the look on her face enough to make both Hanna and Marinette burst out laughing.

“Don’t worry,” Marinette reassured her, gently resting a hand on Juliette’s arm. “You only have to be nice to her if she’s nice to you first, and I can’t imagine that going over well at all.” The girls laughed once more, and exited the bathroom, their spirits high despite the devastating news.

Those high spirits didn’t last, at least for Juliette, as it quickly became apparent that Lila really was trying to change her ways. They observed her for the rest of the week, and by Saturday morning, Lila was quiet, yes, but kind to everyone in the house, including the staff coming in to set-up. It was clear, however, that she was still uncomfortable with her newfound niceness, as when one of the crew members said something to her, she jumped and ran away without responding.

After that embarrassing moment, Lila didn’t appear again until the cocktail party started, right before sundown. Marinette was feeling pretty confident going into this cocktail party, not only for herself, but also for her friends. Except for the fact that Lila had been keeping her word, Juliette already had a rose, and Hanna looked exceptionally beautiful tonight in her light pink gown.

The girls were standing around the Date Card room, all holding a glass of something. They were informed that Adrien was on his way, and Marinette got lost in the conversations happening around her. There were only eight of them left, and besides how empty the room felt without all of the other girls, it also felt warmer and more welcoming. Marinette felt as though she knew these girls really well, and that they all genuinely cared for each other, despite the fact that they were all dating the same man. When Marinette glanced around this Date Card room, she saw the whispers of girls who had been here and had gone, Gabrielle, Alice, Sofia, and others. She saw them laughing, saw the cliques they had all made in the beginning and even saw the group come together over various things, usually involving Lila. 

Marinette’s heart hurt a little, for the girls who had left, and she hoped that she would one day get to see them all again, without the pressures of the show, and hopefully with no hard feelings.

Marinette’s thoughts were interrupted by Adrien walking into the room, looking sharp and collected in his black suit tonight. He gave the girls a smile before addressing them all, “Good evening, ladies. This week has been one for the record books as the most fun week in Bachelor history.” He gave a quick glance to Chris off-stage, who gave a small shrug and a smile before Adrien turned back to the girls and said, “I’m taking that as a yes,” which made everyone giggle. “Anyway, tonight is going to be difficult on all of us, and I just want to prepare you for how important the conversations we are going to have tonight are.” A sudden seriousness fell over the room, and Marinette could hear every girl slowly breathe in anticipation for what the night held.

“With that being said, Camille, can I steal you for a second?” Adrien addressed Camille, who silently stood up, accepted his outreached hand and followed him off to a sitting area somewhere else in the house.

Instead of the normal chatter and excitement that spread through the girls while waiting on their time with Adrien, his little speech left all of the girls silent. The seriousness of what was to happen tonight hit them all hard and left them wondering who of them would be saying goodbye tonight for the last time.

                    ----------------------------------------------------

The night was not going well for Adrien. He was hoping that the decision that had to be made tonight would be obvious after the cocktail party, but Adrien had talked with every single girl except Lila, and he didn’t want to send any of them home. He was even so contemplative during his time with Marinette that he felt as though it flew by without either of them barely saying a word.

It also didn’t help his stress levels that his Father had decided to show up to this cocktail party and brood from behind the camera at every one of his conversations. As Adrien made his way around the house to find Lila, he noticed his Father’s watchful eye following his movements. He hadn’t said much to his Father after the confrontation with Marinette that day on the beach. He knew his Father had been avoiding him as much as Adrien had been avoiding him, but a conversation was inevitable, especially with Adrien narrowing the girls down to the top six tonight. 

Adrien found Lila. sitting by a fire by herself outside, just looking out at the stars. She looked peaceful and actually very pretty without a scowl or that fake smile on her face, and he almost didn’t want to disturb her. He cleared his throat softly, to announce his presence, and only spoke once she met his gaze. “Do you mind if I join you?” 

The fake smile was back, but something seemed different about it as he sat down to join her. “How’s the rest of your week been?” Adrien asked politely. Although it was a loaded question, he truly was curious at how she had done.

She gave a small shrug before answering, “It’s been okay.” Adrien waited for her to go on, smiling encouragingly. Another sigh before she continued, “I’ve been on my best behavior and everyone in the house can attest to it.” Another sigh and then, “It’s just hard to change a behavior that has become a habit. But I’ll do anything for you, Adrien. Anything to stay here in the house, to be able to spend more time with you.” She looked on the verge of tears, as though she had been crying on and off all day.

“I believe you, Lila, and I’ve been asking around. Both the crew members and the other girls are impressed with your shift in behavior and I’m honored that you’re trying so hard for me.”

Lila gave a small smile that didn’t feel real and Adrien just stared. This was not the Lila who shoved Marinette into that bathroom and proceeded to attempt to destroy Marinette. This was not the seductive girl who flirted heavily and kissed poorly and tried too hard to steal all of the attention no matter where they were. This was a broken girl and someone who was going through something bigger than Adrien, bigger than her spot on this show.

He leaned close to her, close enough that the cameras wouldn’t pick up on his words. “Do you want me to send you home, or do you want me to keep you here.” There was a pause where she didn’t say anything and Adrien added, “Please be honest.”

Lila didn’t say anything, and Adrien pulled back from her, scanning her face for any signs or emotions. He also checked the sky, in case an akuma decided to take advantage of her on her bad day. She slowly shook her head and whispered, “Do whatever you think is best.” Before standing up and leaving Adrien behind. He watched her walk away and wondered if that was the first time he had seen a glimpse of the real Lila, the Lila that hid under the façade she put on every day. He wondered how many people in the world have seen that Lila, and if he was possibly the first.

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 The conversation with his Father was brief and curt.

“Lila stays.”

“Sounds good.”

Then they parted ways, Adrien to the room where he decided who gets the roses, and his Father off to do whatever he pleased. 

Adrien didn’t need his Father’s instructions on this particular day though, as he had already decided to keep Lila. He didn’t know what was going on, but he had promised her that if she made an effort to be nice, then she could stay and continue on the show. He didn’t know what was going on in her head or her heart to make her act like that with him, but he was going to keep his word.

Once all of the roses were decided, as hard as it was to choose which girls would go home, he had to make the decision at some point, and he felt as though tonight was the right night. Even if it did hurt the people he cared about. Plagg didn’t say a word as he saw the two girls who were leaving that night, though he buried himself into Adrien’s pocket and gave him a reassuring, “It’ll all be okay.” before Adrien left the room and mentally prepared himself for what he was about to do.

                    ----------------------------------------------------

Marinette was calming the girls around her and pretending to look frazzled too as they lined up for the Rose Ceremony. Sasha, Juliette, and Kagami were at the end of the line looking calm with their roses in hand and gently reassuring the other girls. Marinette was right next to Hanna, a first for the Rose Ceremonies, who was gripping Marinette’s hand so hard she was beginning to lose feeling in her fingers.

Victoria, calm despite the air of nervousness in the area, instructed the girls to walk into the Rose Ceremony room and stand only on the first row of risers, as there weren’t enough of them to make two rows without it looking weird. Lucie, who was at the front, took a deep breath before starting off the line of girls.

They silently lined up, the silence in the room heavier than it had ever been, especially with the three roses staring at them on the podium. They all stood there, looking nervous before Adrien walked in. He studied the girls and for once didn’t smile before he spoke. “Tonight was a hard decision, and I know that it’s only going to get harder as we get closer to the end. But, I had to make the decisions that will bring me closer to my wife at the end of this, and as much as it pains me to do this, I really feel as though this is bringing me closer to my wife.” Adrien didn’t even look at Marinette at that, as he had last week. Something must really be bothering him.

He paused for another moment, staring at the roses before finally picking one up. “Marinette,” he looked at her then, and she walked towards him, a small smile gracing his face. “Marinette, will you accept this rose?” he whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear. 

She whispered back a “Yes,” before taking the rose and giving him a hug. “You can do this,” she whispered in his ear, hoping to provide a little encouragement to make this rose ceremony a little easier. When she pulled away, his eyes offered her a thanks before she walked back to her spot in line. Hanna grabbed her hand and gave her a Hanna-smile, which Marinette returned. 

“Lucie,” Adrien said, a little bit more confidence in his voice. Lucie traveled to Adrien, relief evident in her walk as she went through the same routine that Marinette just had. There was one rose left, with Camille, Hanna, and Lila left to receive one.

Marinette didn’t dare let herself hope that this was the moment Lila went home.

Chris Harrison stepped out of the shadows and addressed the group, “Ladies, Adrien, this is the final rose tonight.” Chris turned towards Adrien and said, “When you’re ready, Adrien,” before disappearing once more.

Adrien stared at that rose for a very long time. Marinette almost felt herself sigh in relief and squeal in excitement. He was about to say Hanna’s name, and then Lila would be gone forever. It was a glorious thought that made her want to jump with excitement, and the only thing that kept her from doing that was Hanna’s death-grip that once again was cutting off circulation in Marinette’s hand. She wished she could send a thought to Hanna to tell her to relax that she was safe, that Adrien wouldn’t get rid of her just yet. But before she could offer Hanna a reassuring smile, Adrien picked up the rose and said, very quietly,

“Lila.” 

Marinette felt her jaw drop. She could barely take her eyes off of Adrien as Lila slowly walked towards Adrien and the rose that had been assigned to her. When her eyes did move, it was to Juliette, who on the other end of the line, was already crying. Marinette realized that she was too, especially when she looked at Hanna, who was trying her hardest to keep herself composed knowing that the cameras were watching her reaction.

Marinette hadn’t even noticed that Lila had accepted her rose and gotten back in line with the others until Chris stepped back out of the shadows and said those heart-wrenching words. “Camille, Hanna, I’m sorry. Please take a moment to say your goodbyes.” 

Juliette was on the two of them quickly, and they all were embraced in a hug, not bothering to hide the tears any longer. Other girls had come to wish Hanna well and Camille even came over, but all of it felt numb. 

Hanna was leaving. Hanna, the girl who welcomed Marinette as a friend that first night, no questions asked. Hanna, who had stood up for her that first night as well, and had stood by her side time and time again. Hanna, who introduced Marinette to Juliette and created a group of friends that Marinette will cherish forever. Hanna, who had the bubbliest laugh. Hanna, who’s smile lit up a room. Hanna, who had the innocent idea to make a pillow fort in the living room.

Marinette saw all of these memories and more flash as she squeezed Hanna, unwilling to let her go. Thankfully, the producers were letting the girls take a little longer to say their goodbyes, so Marinette didn’t feel rushed. Their trio broke apart and Hanna hugged each girl individually, which allowed Marinette to hug Camille as well. 

When Hanna got to Marinette, Marinette couldn’t even pretend to hold it together. But Hanna held her, as she always had, and whispered in her ear. “Thank you so much for being with me through this. Adrien deserves a friend as amazing as you, and I know that you’re going to be a wonderful wife to him one day.” Marinette didn’t even have the breath to argue with her as she hiccupped in her crying. “You go on, and you sweep that boy off of his feet.” She pulled back and Marinette managed a nod before Juliette kissed her on the cheek, and went to say goodbye to Adrien. 

As she walked down the hallway that led to the front door, where a car would be waiting for her, Juliette moved beside Marinette, grabbing her hand and gently laying her head on Marinette’s. They both watched as their best friend made her way with Adrien, only looking back once, giving them a soft reassuring smile, before disappearing out of Marinette’s sight for the last time.

~~~

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[lebritneeey]

Second Chance (1/??)

inspired by don’t wanna cry, lie again and second life & a little idea from reply 1997 and 1988.

genre: romance. fluff, angst, love rivals etc lmao pairing: y/n x ??? (svt)

a/n: hi guys! so my imagination started running after listening to dwc, lie again and second life on repeat lmao. i’ve always love reading angsty fics and so i came up with this series based on these three songs! disclaimer!! if there’s any similarity with other fics, it is coincidental, everything written here is based on my idea! no to plagiarism!! also, pics and gifs here are NOT mine! hope you guys enjoy this series i might be posting this on aff too so don’t be alarm if you come across it on aff! enjoy!

SERIES MASTERLIST

What if you could get a second chance at love? What if it was the wrong time but the right person all along? Would you take it? This second chance?

Meet y/n, a 25 year old girl who had to revisit the city she once loved, Seoul. It was a city filled with both good and bad memories for her. When she left, she swore never to return. But here she is, back in Seoul, hoping to not run into a certain old flame that might reopen old wounds and remind her of how broken hearted she was back then.

prologue | chapter 1 | chapter 2

chapter 1: the time where we all first met.

nov 2020, Incheon International Airport, 3:36pm (KST)

Y/n stepped out of the airport, pushing her luggage alongside her. She took a deep breath, exhaling as she busk in the cold air around her. She couldn’t experience weather like this back in Singapore so this is probably one of the things she missed about Korea. 

“Hey, y/f/n y/l/n!!” Y/n turned to the direction of her name being yelled. She smiled at the two people whom she hasn’t seen for quite some time. Choyi and Hana ran over to her and gave her tight hug. “Wow we were so damn excited when you texted us and said you were visiting!!” Choyi jumped up and down, grabbing y/n’s luggage. 

“Come on, we got a lot of catch up on.” Hana grinned as the trio went to Hana’s car. Instead of choosing to stay at a hotel, y/n chose to stay with Choyi at her new apartment. It was definitely bigger and nicer than the house they stayed during their college experience, the only difference is that Hana won’t be staying with them as she got married to her long time boyfriend. 

////

Seoul, 5:43pm (KST)

“wow Choyi.. this place is definitely an upgrade compared to the house we lived in back when we were in college!” Y/n eyes widened as she stepped into the apartment. The living room spacious, there’s an open kitchen and counter along with four bedrooms and two medium sized bathrooms. 

“Well, thankfully the very first job I got paid me quite well plus I just got promoted so this apartment was worth the investment.” Choyi said as she led Y/n into the guestroom. “Here is your room for the next few weeks!” Y/n sat her luggage at one corner as she sat on the bed. “Thank you so much for the offer Choyi, I’d rather stay here and catch up with you and Hana rather than staying at a hotel despite my company paying for it.” 

“Then unpack later y/n! I brought some food for you to enjoy~” Hana yelled from the living area. Oh how she missed the girls, Y/n smiled as she spotted a few korean delicacies on the table. Aside from the weather, she definitely missed the food here as well. 

////

7:32pm (KST)

“So you guys didn’t want a wedding at all?! Why not?!” Y/n asked Hana as she took a sip of the kimchi stew in front of her. Hana shrugged, “it was quite a hassle so we went for a small ceremony instead. I’m sorry for not inviting you, I just thought you didn’t want to be back here in Seoul.” Y/n shook her head, “It’s alright, but I have to be there next time for your future child’s hundred day old party okay?” Hana gave an ‘okay’ sign as she grabbed more kimchi. 

As the evening passes by, the girls were sitting down around the sofa, reminiscing about their college life. “Do yall remember the time where I forgot to bring my keys and got locked outside for five hours cause you two were having classes so there wasn’t anyone to open the door for me?” Y/n burst out laughing when Hana mentioned the incident. 

“Omg, I remembered when you called me five times while I was having my lecture and i got a little annoyed so I picked up and yelled at you forgetting that I was in a hall full of hundred students.” Choyi laughed as she continued, “y/n was beside me and she was having second hand embarrassment.” Y/n nodded in agreement, giggling. “I sure did.” 

“What about the time when Yoojin confessed to Choyi but she turned him down cause he didn’t drink bubble tea at all?!” Y/n nudged the girl while chuckling. “Hey, I drink lots of boba so I expect my future husband to drink boba too!” Hana and Y/n shooked their head, wondering what was Choyi really thinking then. 

“OMG, remember the first month into the semester and we got to see the Golden Disk Awards live FOR THE FIRST TIME?!” Choyi squealed as she started listing the bands that were at the award show not before getting shushed by Hana. Choyi looked at Hana quizzically for a second before she went into a “oh..” and they both turned to look at Y/n. 

The two girls knew Choyi had hit a spot when she mentioned the time where they went to see some kpop bands performed live at the GDA awards. Y/n went silent for a moment before smiling, “it’s fine you two. You don’t have to watch what you say around me, really. I’m okay.” 

Silence filled the air for a few minutes before Hana spoke, changing the subject and attention onto other things. 

///

Flashback: Jan 2017, Seoul

"...therefore you are all expected to hand in the five page essay by the end of this month. Understood? Alright, see you all next week.” 

Y/n sighed as she packed her stuff. It’s a few weeks into her exchange program at Yonsei university but she’s starting to feel the burn just by receiving her assignments. Just gotta find the silver lining.. she thought as she walked out of the lecture hall. 

“Y/n!!” Choyi ran towards her, catching her breath as she stopped in front of the doors to the lecture hall. “Choyi! I was wondering where you were.” Y/n noticed the disheveled hair and the unzipped backpack and chuckled, “did you woke up late from your afternoon nap at the library?” 

Choyi pouted as she peeped into the lecture hall. “Class has ended?! So fast?!” Y/n shooked her head and look at her watch. “Not really, professor lee ended right on time.” The pair started walking to the main foyer of the campus and sat down on a bench. They were waiting for Hana to finish her classes so that they could walk home together. Choyi and Y/n were both communications major thus they have the same classes whereas Hana is a business major. 

“Hello children~” Hana walked over to the girls, calling them in a happy tone. “Why do you sound so happy?” Choyi asked as the three of them start walking out of the campus. 

“Because..” Hana stopped and pulled three tickets out of her bag and waved it in front of Choyi, “you’re are going to thank me for these Choyi dear!” Eyebrows raised, Choyi grabbed a ticket from her hand while Hana passed another to Y/n who took it, feeling confused. 

“OH. MY. GOSH.” Choyi exclaimed as her eyes widened. Y/n read the words on the ticket. 

Golden Disc Awards 2017

“Golden Disc Awards? Isn’t it that music award show?” Y/n asked before flinching at Choyi’s screams. “YES. THAT AWARD SHOW. WHERE ALL MY FAVORITE KPOP BANDS ARE GOING TO BE PERFORMING AT!!!!!” Hana smirked at Choyi’s excitement. 

“Bands like IOI, EXO, BTS, Monsta X annnnnnnnnnd” 

Hana turned to Y/n, “wait for it..” 

“SEEEEEEVEEEEENTEEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!” Choyi screamed and jumped around which caused the people around them to give the trio weird and dirty looks for making so much noise. But clearly the girl didn’t care. She grabbed Y/n by the arm, still jumping up and down. “Omg, y/n you’re gonna love them. LIKE A CHANCE TO SEE THEM LIVE OMG.” 

Y/n chuckled at Choyi’s excitement, “sure why not? I could use a tiny break from the upcoming stress.” Hana reached down her bag and pulled out three passes. “You are going to love me ten times more because.. we got backstage passes too!” 

Choyi stopped jumping and turned towards Hana. “OH. MY. GAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!”

////

Enroute to the GDA 2017, Seoul, 3:28pm (KST)

The girls were on the way to the Golden Disc Awards with Hana as the driver while Y/n sat beside her in the passenger seat and Choyi at the back (because she couldn’t stop rambling on and on about who she’s going to ask for an autograph later). 

“I still cannot believe you hid the fact that Joohyeon oppa works at freaking Pledis Entertainment!!!” Choyi crossed her arms and made a ‘hmpf’ sound as she stare out the window. Hana shrugged as she eyed on the road. “You never ask~” It turns out that Hana’s boyfriend of three years was a dance trainer at Pledis Entertainment thus she was able to get the special passes and tickets to the award show. 

“Which band do you wanna meet later on Y/n?” Hana asked. Y/n pondered for a while, she don’t really know much about kpop and who were active in the scene. “I don’t know a lot of bands but since Choyi wants to meet Seventeen, then I’ll just follow her.” Y/n smiled as Choyi nodded in agreement, “good taste Y/n!” Hana rolled her eyes but smiled as she continued the drive towards the venue. 

////

GDA 2017, Seoul, 5:03pm (KST)

The girls met up with Hana’s boyfriend, Joohyeon who brought them backstage. The red carpet was over so the celebrities were all in their dressing rooms getting ready before the show starts. 

“Oppa, is Seventeen in their dressing room? Choyi is getting a little impatient.” Hana nodded towards the back and sighed. Joohyeon chuckled as he pointed to the front of the corridor, “They’re just in front.” 

Y/n looked around backstage, staffs were running here and there, some were carrying bags full of makeup while some were carrying a bunch of outfits. What seemed like a bunch of celebrities were also walking around, she could easily guessed they were members of a kpop band judging by their bling bling outfits, hair colors that popped and very thick makeup. 

So this is how it feels seeing celebrities up close.. Y/n thought as she walked with the girls towards Seventeen’s dressing room when all of sudden she needed the washroom. “I gotta go to the bathroom, you guys will be at the room in front right?” She asked Choyi who absent-mindedly nodded as she stared at more celebrities passing by. 

////

5:08pm (KST)

After using the washroom, Y/n came out only to find the area she was at so much more crowded compared to a few minutes ago. How the heck did it get so crowded now?! She tried finding her way to the corridor she was at before but it seemed like it disappeared. Am I lost?! 

Y/n looked left and right, wondering which way to go. She knew Hana and Choyi were most likely at Seventeen’s dressing room so she just gotta find her way there. But no one seemed free enough to help her and people were hurrying here and there. Right when she was about to take out her phone to call one of the girls, a voice appeared behind her. 

“Excuse me, are you lost?” She turned to see a good looking guy smiling at her. He’s definitely a celebrity, despite him wearing a normal outfit, the hair and makeup gave it away. But damn, this guy is handsome though he seemed familiar somehow.. 

“Uhm.. yes. I looked like a lost sheep isn’t it?” Y/n sheepishly asked as she rubbed her arms in an awkward manner. The guy chuckled as he asked her where she needed to go. 

“Oh, my friends are at Seventeen’s dressing room!” She pointed out. The guy’s eyebrows rose in surprised, “oh? I’m headed there too. I’ll bring you.” He nodded in the direction they were supposed to go. “Follow me.”

////

Seventeen’s dressing room, 5:19pm (KST) 

“Y/n! What took you so long?” Hana asked as Y/n entered the room. “I got lost but no worries, I found my way thanks to that guy.” She whispered back and nodded towards her helping hand. Hana was about to question more but got interrupted. 

“Say the name! Seventeen! Hello, we are Seventeen!” The members introduced themselves to the girls and Joohyeon spoke, “alright, guys remember what we have practiced so far for the performance later on! Fighting!” The members cheered in reply as they scattered to get ready for the show, in particular, the guy who brought Y/n to their dressing room took his seat at the dressing table while staffs begin touching up his makeup and hair. 

So he’s a member of Seventeen, no wonder I find him a little familiar just now.. He looked up and gave a small smile to her and went back to browsing through his phone. 

While Choyi was busy asking for autographs and pictures, Y/n spotted a cute polaroid film camera on the dressing table. That film camera is cute, it looks like it’s been decorated nicely.. “Whose is this? It looks nicely decorated” Y/n asked the staff at the dressing table. “Ah this, it belongs to --” 

“SEVENTEEN, get ready in five minutes!” A staff hollered, making everyone scramble and thus the busyness starts again. “Y/n, we gotta find our seats!” Hana said as she pulled Choyi away, stopping her from being over zealous towards the members. Y/n nodded and left, not before smiling politely at a few of them as she made her way out. 

“Hyung, one of them is your girlfriend right?” Hoshi asked Joonhyeon. “Yup, the other two girls are her friends.” 

“They’re both pretty! Especially the quiet one.” Jun pointed out cheerfully. Some members nodded in agreement. “The quiet one? Oh is it that girl who passed by me on the way out..?” S.Coups asked no one in particular. “I think the bubbly girl was cute, she’s really a big fan of us!” Dino exclaimed while Woozi rebutted, “nah, she’s a little too loud and noisy.” 

“Jeonghan hyung, where did you go just now? I couldn’t find you after I raided the vending machine, man it was so crowded outside” Vernon asked the older guy. “Ah, I went to the washroom, must have eaten something bad.” Jeonghan sighed as he sat down, waiting for the staff to signal them. 

“SEVENTEEN, time to get to your seats!” A staff announced as the members scrambled out of the dressing room. 

“Oh, almost forgot about this! Better keep it safely so I won’t lose it~” One of them grabbed the polaroid camera and stuffed it in his bag before running out of the dressing room. 

////

nov 2020, seoul, 9:26pm (KST)

Y/n was halfway through unpacking her luggage when Choyi knocked on the door. “Come in!” 

Choyi popped her head through the doorframe, “need any help?” Y/n shooked her head as she put away her remaining clothes into the wardrobe. “I’m almost done, it’s fine~” Choyi nodded and came into the room with a box. “I wanna pass you this..” She handed the box over to y/n. “When you left Korea that day you forgot to pack this so I kept it for you. I wasn’t sure if you wanted it back but I’ll just let you decide. It’s fine if you don’t wanna keep it, I can help you throw it away or something.” 

Y/n opened the box and inside it were albums. SVT’s albums to be exact, all signed with personalised messages addressing to y/n. “I remembered every time one of these was produced, be it mini album or a full length one, the boys will always gift us a physical copy. But we all know yours was always special.” Choyi looked at Y/n gently. 

Y/n kept quiet as she flipped through each album to a certain page. Gosh, it’s been so long since she saw these - pictures of him. Tears started filling her eyes as she read those loving messages from him to her. Upon seeing y/n about to cry, Choyi immediately wrapped her arms around y/n’s shoulders. “Oh no, I am so sorry y/n. I shouldn’t have kept this box in the first place knowing it’s going to remind you of--” 

“No no, it’s fine. Thank you though Choyi, I appreciate the thought.” Y/n assures Choyi. 

“I’m back with the chicken and more beers! Time for supper!” 

Y/n and Choyi heard the door closed. “Hana’s back with chimaek! Come on, some nice snacks with cheer you up!” Y/n nodded and packed the albums back into the box one by one before leaving the room not knowing that a piece of photocard had slipped out and dropped onto the floor, under her bed. 

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Blessings

Little bonus chapter to The Dragon Kings Treasure just because I need little dragon babies in my life, don’t @ me. 

And yes the drawing has nothing to do with the story, but that’s okay. Cute babies is all I need. 

Ten years. That wasn’t a very long time in relation to the rest of Koge’s life, but it had definitely been the most memorable. She could remember every moment of the past decade like it had just happened, every touch, event and birth fresh in her mind. There wasn’t a second that she would trade, not for all the jewels and riches in the world. The most precious thing in the world to her was her family, and after all the hardships her life had brought her, they had finally brought her peace. 

Well, as much peace as she could gain. It was a crazy life, of raising her three children and helping to run her husband's expanding territory. Breeding and raising dragons wasn’t an easy task either, but it was worthwhile, especially when a species that was near extension successfully laid eggs or when they found freedom and a place to belong here. Hearing their cries of joy across the skies would bring a smile to her face when sitting out in the palace courtyard for a moment of temporary solitude. 

At the moment, she found some peace and quiet sitting on the edge of the fountain, listening to the water trickle behind her while she watched the sun set behind the mountains. With winter approaching, there was already snow beginning to gather at the peaks, but the air around her was still at a comfortable temperature. It was a nice and relaxing evening, the sounds of chirping small birdlike dragons filling the air. They seemed so happy, so content in their environment, just as she was. This palace was old and huge, architecturally brilliant in design with nearly impenetrable defenses, which were admittedly quite new. 

Since Bakugou took back his homeland, he had done everything in his power to reinforce it, to return it to the glory and status that it once represented. A place of fire, of power and of dragons, that would send other territories running with their tails between their legs. Not all was back to how it should be, as there were still many repairs that needed to be done and laws to be corrected, but there had been a lot of progress. His people were so thankful for the return of his bloodline and rule, as they had been in turmoil before he came back. Koge loved watching him work, able to see him absolutely beaming with pride. 

Being his wife was everything she had ever dreamed of. After the birth of their first son, they celebrated with an extravagant wedding, party and crowning ceremony. Yes, it all went very well, though Koge did have to admit her favorite parts were running off with Bakugou during the midst of the festivities to find a quiet place just to each other. So much attention and respect was something she had difficulty growing used to, and despite her attempts, she still could not understand people well. It had gotten better as she learned to read lips and relate them to written words, and Bakugou was there as often as he could be to help. Teaching her was also a priority for him, and it became a true bonding experience for them at the beginning. 

It wasn’t just her speech that he had helped her with all these years. Slowly, her mental and emotional wounds were healed, her trauma locked away but not forgotten. There were still dreams and moments of panic that she couldn’t control, but as he had promised, Bakugou never left her when she needed him to recover. He was just as much of a stubborn hardass as when she first met him, distant and rough to the world. But with her and behind closed doors, he was affectionate and gentle at times, though that wasn’t to say that he completely rid himself of that fiery attitude that she adored. 

With a tender touch, she reached up to run her fingers along the necklace that rested near her collarbone, feeling the smooth metal. Along with the ring on her finger, this was a gift Bakugou had given her on their wedding night in the privacy of their chambers, a sentimental gift that she wore every day without fail. And then, as if on cue, she could hear his voice booming down the hallway. 

“Where’s your Mom? Huh? You said you knew where she was, squirt.” 

“I do know, Daddy! She’s at the fountain!”  

“You sure about that? How do you know?”  

“I can smell her, duh!”  

Koge couldn’t resist the smile that crossed her lips, turning her body a bit to watch the entrance to the courtyard. Soon enough, the tiny body of her daughter sprang forth, bouncing and pointing in excitement towards her.  

“See, see?! She’s here, just like I said!” The eight-year-old Natsuki pushed her wild hair blonde hair out of her face, as if to make sure she was actually looking at her mother and not some stranger. Rounding the corner behind here was Bakugou, holding their youngest in his arms with their eldest walking along beside him. Even though all the stress and physical trauma that Koge had gone through while pregnant with him, Matsuki was born completely healthy, though was quite timid natured compared to his siblings. Atsuki, the youngest at three years old, was showing the most promising signs as far as inheriting Bakugou’s magic. For now, though, that wasn’t something that was on the parent's minds. They just wanted to enjoy their family.  

Koge giggled softly, giving a small wave to them as Natsuki dashed across the grass to her. “Well hello my babies! You could smell me, huh? Does that mean I stink?”  

Natsuki scoffed as she hopped up to stand on the edge of the fountain next to her mother, tenderly messing with her jeweled hair piece. “No, Momma,” the young girl stood closer as Koge put her arm around her legs. “I’m just a good smeller!”  

“Ooh a good smeller, of course!” Koge’s gaze moved up to Bakugou as he came to stand beside her as well. “And why were you looking for me, hm?”  

Bakugou chuckled, patting Atsuki on the back. Sucking on his thumb, it was obvious that the child had been crying. “He was worried that he couldn’t find you. So, we set out looking.”  

“Aw, my poor darling.” Koge took the baby as Bakugou handed him towards her, letting the child wrap his arms around her neck and rest against her shoulder. “Mommy is always very close, baby. You can always find me.” In happiness of hearing her voice, Atsuki’s white and red accented tail began to sway.  

“How’d class go?” Koge questioned Matsuki, who flopped to sit on the grass. His tail wrapped absentmindedly around his own hips, blue eyes looking up to the sky in thought.  

“Hmm… Fine, I guess. It was hard for me to focus because my head hurts from my horns…” Matsuki reached up and rubbed the skin around his light blue horns, where they were growing in on the sides of his head near his ears, much like Koge’s. So far, he was the only one to sprout both horns and a tail. Natsuki didn’t seem to be growing in any physical dragon features just yet, and Atsuki was still too young to have anything but his tail. None of them had the ability to change just yet, but that didn’t usually manifest until they hit their growth stunt in their twenties.  

“Don’t worry, we’ll use ice and heat on them again tonight before bed. And how about you?” Koge looked up at Bakugou, smiling as he sat down on the other side of her with a sigh.  

“They all did well in class today, I think. They can all summon the magic, just at different levels.” Bakugou let his arm rest around her hips as Natsuki moved away, starting her trek around the rim of the fountain. Koge leaned her body against him, letting her toddler son go so he could follow his sister, though she did quietly warn him to be careful.  

“I’m glad they did well in class.” She watched Atsuki for a moment before turning her attention to her husband, feeling her cheeks flush as he placed a small, affectionate kiss on the top of her head. “But they have an amazing teacher, so I’m not surprised.”  

Bakugou gave an amused scoff and a small shake of his head. “C’mon now, don’t make my head bigger than it already is. I--”  

He was interrupted by a sudden loud squeal and the sound of splashing, turning to look at the chaos behind him. Natsuki had fallen into the shallow pool of the fountain, pushing herself up out of the water and giving a violent shake of her head. “I slipped!”  

Before anyone else could react, Atsuki took it upon himself to jump in beside her, laughing as he fell back to sit. “I slipped!”  

“Don’t copy me, Astu!” Face red and pout on her lips, Natsuki huffed, bringing herself to her knees. “It’s not funny!”  

Obviously worried, even though there was no need to be, Matsuki made his way over to reach in. “Here, Natsu, I’ll help you-- AH!” With a yell of his own, and a malicious betrayal by his sister, Matsuki was yanked into the pool, off balance and fumbling over his own feet.  

Watching them wrestle and splash each other, Bakugou couldn’t help but to chuckle, even though playing in the fountain was against the rules he had set. “Hey, what do you three think you’re doing?”  

“Babies, you know you’re not supposed to get in the--”  

Suddenly, both parents were showered with water, not a single word of their scolding heard.  

“Ah, Natsuki, you splashed Mom--!”  

“You started wrestling with me! All I did was pull you in! Hey, no using your tail, cheater!”  

Feeling as if any attempts to stop them were useless at the point, Koge smiled up at Bakugou, giving a shrug in surrender. “Let them have some fun. But hey, you know what they say.”  

“What do they say?”  

“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!” Snatching onto his clothes before he could even react, Koge fell backwards with him into the pool, laughing as he yelled. They both landed with a large splash, Koge’s laughter joined in by her children.  

Never in her life had Koge ever expected to have a family like this, to find happiness and a place to belong. It was everything she had ever wanted, and these moments are what made all the hardships wither away.  

Propping himself up on one elbow, Bakugou scoffed as he pushed his hair back out of his face, though the smirk on his lips told Koge that he wasn’t upset at all, even as he complained. “What the hell, Koge? You think you’re funny?”  

“Oh yes, I’m hilarious.” Koge dug her fingers into his top, pulling him in closer. “Now give me a kiss, you punk.”  

Caressing her cheek, Bakugou did as commanded, catching her lips with his own in a gentle but playful kiss. It didn’t last long, however, as Bakugou was suddenly tackled to the side by his daughter and youngest son, laughing as he wrapped his arms around both of them. As the treason was committed in the form of hugs and other such horrendous affections, Koge sat up and leaned back against the center of the fountain, smiling from ear to ear.  

Her heart was full to the brim, over spilling with pure love for her family. She had her children, a husband that she adored, and a happiness that she was sure would be everlasting.  

In the end, what more could the little halfling ask for?

[emeraldwaves]

Title: A Dragon’s Magic Epilogue (FINAL CHAPTER) Pairing:  Kacchako Rating: M   Word Count:  2,673 Summary: Uraraka Ochako has always believed in dragons, though she was constantly told they were long since extinct. Now an adult and professional mage, she’s ready to help her parents as a healer for their village. The last thing she expects is for her beliefs to become a reality, but when a dragon attacks her village, she learns there’s more to magic than she ever could’ve realized. Read on AO3 Thanks to @its-love-u-asshole and @amaisenshi for reading this ahead of time. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTED AND READ THIS FIC! I APPRECIATE IT <3

"You look absolutely beautiful, Ochako," her mother said, cupping her cheeks.

"It really does suit you! I can't believe you're going through with this," Mitsuki sighed. "My idiot son better know how lucky he is."

Ochako turned to look at herself in the mirror. Her stomach was completely exposed, her upper half covered by traditional dragon garb. The edge of the wrap was covered with fur and the long skirt she wore was also lined with fur. A necklace made of dragon scales sat around her neck and her boots were covered in scales as well.

Somehow, the traditional wedding garb of the dragons oddly did suit her.

"My perfect girl... I never thought I would see you again, and here you are about to get married!" Her mother pulled her into a hug, holding her close.

It was strange, a few months ago, her mother had hugged her before sending her off to take her magic proficiency test and now they were practically reliving the moment. Only, Ochako's life was going in a very different direction.

"I'm so happy you came, Mom," Ochako whispered, wrapping her arms around the woman.

Even after only a few months, so much had changed. Magic had mostly returned to the dragons, their current flowing like normal, and Ochako and Bakugou were finally getting married.

"Sweetheart, you know your father and I wouldn't miss this for the world," she said.

After returning the magic, one of the first things Bakugou and Ochako had done was go visit her parents. Though she wasn’t supposed to return to her village, her parents were on the outskirts enough they could hide for a short period of time.

"Thank goodness you’re okay," her mother had said, wrapping her arms tightly around her daughter. "Though I am surprised to see you still with the dragon who almost destroyed our village."

"I know it’s strange," Ochako had admitted, "but I promise, he’s not a bad person… er… dragon..."  

"I fucking love your daughter," Bakugou had blurted out after that. Leaving both of her parents dumbfounded at the outburst.

It was strange, Ochako had expected her parents to be angry she was choosing to marry the person who had almost destroyed their village, but upon more conversation, they were mostly happy.

Her father was a little concerned, frowning at Bakugou through the majority of the conversation. But while Ochako told them of all her adventures, his face grew warmer.

She had explained the bond to them… how she had helped dragons find their magic again. It was so different from anything her parents had ever done, the two of them had been completely enthralled by the tales of her adventure.

"I guess I can’t complain if you’re taking good care of her," her father said.

"I already told you, I fuckin’ love her!" Bakugou snapped, folding his hands over his chest while Ochako wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Don’t worry I think they know that," she giggled.

The two had agreed to travel with them to dragon island to watch the marriage ceremony; Ochako’s mother was more than thrilled and had jumped into celebration planning with Mitsuki. Her mother was of course, going to make the cake.

Currently, her mother was trying to convince her father to move to the dragon village so they could be close all the time. Talk of babies had come up, and though Ochako wasn’t against the idea… it did seem a little soon. There were more adventures to discover.

As excited as her parents were, Iida and Deku, had been a little more difficult to convince. They were her two best friends though, and Ochako wanted them to be there.

"He's the dragon who almost destroyed our village!" Iida had proclaimed loudly.

"Y-You're going to marry him!?" Deku had looked pale.

Of course, Bakugou didn't do much to help his case when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and got a little possessive despite Ochako mentioning multiple times Deku and Iida were simply childhood friends. "Hell yes she's going to marry me, nerd!" he had snapped.

"O-Of course! R-Right!" Deku flailed, obviously not wanting to get into a fight with a dragon.

Regardless of their slight reservations, Ochako was happy Deku and Iida had come to watch the ceremony. She had missed them and was happy to share this occasion with them.

The door to the room creaked open, bringing Ochako back from her thoughts. "Knock knock!" Mina's cheerful voice called out, and her, Momo, and Kyouka peeked their heads in.

"Girls!" Ochako smiled. "I didn't expect you to come back here."

"Well, we're not the groom so it's allowed!" Mina said, stepping inside. Her pink robes were wrapped tightly around her swollen belly. Her and Kirishima were expecting their first child in the next few months, but Mina was still so full of energy. Kirishima seemed stressed she wouldn't calm down a little.

"Actually we didn't bring any of the boys," Kyouka chuckled. "I wasn’t going to let Denki in here even if I have been watching his every move." It was true. Ever since they’d returned, Kyouka had barely let Denki out of her sight. He had been forgiven when he had profusely apologized, especially since the magic was slowly returning. Still, he was doing everything in his power to not piss anyone else off, and Kyouka was making sure he stayed in check. She rarely left her mate’s side.

"Shouto wanted to come but I figured we shouldn't let any of them see you just in case," Momo said. Ochako was happy to hear she was finally calling him by his first name, especially since they were going to be completing the magic ritual in a few short weeks. "We were going to sit down first, but we wanted to come tell you how excited we are!" Momo continued.

"And maybe sneak a peek at how cute you looked!" Mina cheered excitedly, rushing to her to squeeze her hands.

The four girls had grown extremely close over the past few months and Ochako was grateful they had been so welcoming despite her being a human. Especially now their magic was back and no one was trapped in dragon form or forced to show their scales, everyone was in a much better mood.

Things on the dragon island had mostly returned to normal.

Which was why Mitsuki insisted Katsuki go through the traditional marriage ceremony. They did however compromise about reading aloud long vows, since the two of them had already done so privately during their magic ritual. Admittedly, Ochako wouldn't have cared if she had to say them again, but Katsuki much preferred to be private and Ochako was happy to oblige.

"You girls are too good to me," she giggled. She really was grateful to all of them for being so loving and welcoming.

"The outfit suits you so much!" Momo said, her eyes scanning her.

"Really? You guys don't think I look silly?"

"Well, normally we have our scales out a bit more, tail... or wings..." Mina hummed, "but since you don't have those things, there's no reason to feel silly."

"Okay..." she mumbled, knowing that was impossible for her anyway.

There was another knock at the door and Masaru peered in. "Hello?" he said, a smile pulled across his face. "Katsuki is ready for you! Just thought I'd come over and let you know." Masaru was a kind man, one Ochako had enjoyed getting to know since he had returned to his human form. She could understand why Katsuki would fight so hard for him. She was happy to see he was doing well.

"Ready?" Ochako squeaked. "He's always so fast!"

"Mhm..." he nodded. "Don't worry, if you need more time he can wait."

"Damn right he can wait! Ochako is too good for him," Mitsuki repeated, snarling as she stepped towards the door.

"Oh my gosh! We gotta go sit down!" Mina giggled. "You look perfect Ocha!" she said, waving her hand through the door as she and the other girls headed back out to the main hall.

"Good luck!" Kyouka teased.

"It'll be so beautiful," Momo sighed.

The room was oddly quiet, leaving Ochako with her mother alone. She chose to have both her mother and father to accompany her down the aisle, but for now, she didn't mind being alone with her mother.

"You seem... so much happier here, Ochako," she said, taking her hands.

"I really am," she whispered. "I never expected to... meet dragons and help them find their magic and... fall in love."

"You know the day you finished your magical test... feels so long ago," her mother sighed. "You had a look on your face, after everything was all said and done... and I knew," she said, gently stroking through the small side pieces of her hair, so not to ruin the small crown Mitsuki placed atop her head.

"You knew?" Ochako asked, tilting her head.

"Mhm. I knew you were going to find an adventure... something bigger than our small village. I was very right."

"You were," she giggled. "I blame Grandma."

Her mother let out a soft sigh, cupping Ochako's cheeks again. "She would be so proud. So excited to see you marrying a dragon."

"I wish I could tell her she was right... After all these years, she knew."

"I'm sure she knows she was right. I think she always knew."

"Me too," Ochako nodded.

Well... are you ready?"

"Mhm," she nodded. "Let's get Dad."

The two stepped outside of the room, her father was waiting by the exit. "There's my girl," he smiled. "You look stunning."

"Thanks," she said, blushing as she linked arms with both of her parents. "Are you sure you're both okay with this?" she asked, looking at both of them.

"I don't care who you marry as long as you're happy," her father said, gently tapping at her hand.

"I am. I'm so happy," she giggled, and she took the first step forward, opening the door.

"I think we can see that," her father chuckled.

Music began to play as she proceeded down the aisle with both of her parents. Deku and Iida both waved, smiling at her. Mirio, Tamaki and Nejire had even decided to join, despite Tamaki being terrified to interact with other dragons. The girls were bouncing with excitement. Todoroki was sat next to Momo and he nodded when Ochako walked by, a small smile on his face as well. She knew there was a part of him that, like her, still couldn’t believe this was real. However, he seemed much happier here as well.

Having all of her friends there made her want to cry. This was her life now, and she'd never felt more lucky.

Her gaze then fell upon Bakugou Katsuki and where he stood at the end of the aisle. His pants were heavy, and his boots were thick, lined with fur. His shirt was tight fitted and of course, his cape was draped over his shoulders, fur lining the hood. His wings stood proudly behind him and she could see the golden scales glistening on his cheeks. He looked similar to how he had when she first met him and it made her heart skip a beat.

He was looking at her too, his red eyes following her every move. It made her heart throb, and her stomach wiggle. She was excited and he was too, their bond deeper than ever before. She could even tell Katsuki was in the mood just from looking at her. It filled her heart with a little extra pride.

When they made it to the end of the aisle, Ochako turned to kiss her mother and then her father on the cheek, smiling as she let go of them to stand in front of Katsuki.

He smirked when she stepped in front of him. "Lookin' good, Cheeks," he muttered.

"Thanks," she giggled softly, her hand reaching out to touch his cheek. "I missed these."

"It's.. just tradition or whatever," he scoffed.

"They look nice," she said.

"'Course you think that," he teased.

"Hey-"

"Morning Ladies and Gentleman!" the head dragon began. He spoke loudly, interrupting Bakugou and Ochako's conversation. Not that she minded, she couldn't keep bantering with him, as much as she enjoyed it.

She took her hands, wrapping them around Bakugou's and his fingers squeezed hers. She glanced at him, her brown eyes wide and full of excitement. His red eyes stared at her with an intensity she knew well. She could feel how much he loved her.

"We’re gathered here today to officially proclaim Bakugou Katsuki and Uraraka Ochako to be mates. Though this woman is a human, she has agreed to share in our customs and our rituals and the magical bond these two already share is nothing to scoff at.”

Ochako’s chest felt warm, buzzing with excitement and it was a mixture of his joy and love and her own. She glanced down at his chest, wondering if he felt it just as much as she did.

It was strange, even knowing she wasn’t a dragon… this moment felt perfect, comfortable. Like she was meant to be here. Fate had finally led her in the proper direction.

The dragon head turned to both of them. "I suppose this whole thing might feel a little strange, since you two have already mated and bonded but… let’s do this the proper way shall we?"

Ochako nodded quickly. There was nothing she wanted more, and though Bakugou rolled his eyes, Ochako could see the red on his cheeks dusting over his scales. He was always so damn stubborn.

"Do you, Bakugou Katsuki, choose Uraraka Ochako to be your mate? Do you promise to protect her and care for her and never break this sacred bond you two will soon share?" The lead dragon spoke, turning to Bakugou first.

With a long huff, Bakugou nodded. "I swear I will," he stated, his eyes burning bright. "I love her."

Her chest felt warmer.

"Do you, Uraraka Ochako, choose Bakugou Katsuki to be your mate, despite being human? Do you promise to care for him and never break the sacred bond you two will soon share?"

"We already share a sacred bond," she whispered. This only made it better. "I promise. I love him with all my heart."

The leader smiled. "Perfect. Please seal your bond with a kiss, the final ritual will take place in private amongst you two, but let it be known to your friends and family you two are now mates, the strongest connection dragons can share, and no one can break the bond tying you two together for eternity."

Katsuki stepped forward and wrapped his hands around her cheeks, pulling their lips together. He kissed her gently, sucking softly on her lower lip. She let out a quiet hum, excited for later when they could have the private time the leader spoke of.

The entire crowd cheered and Katsuki pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. "I love you, Cheeks," he muttered, soft enough that only she could hear, private words just for her.

"I love you too, Katsuki," she said, knowing she meant every word. A smile pulled across her lips. "Should we go... celebrate?"

He took her hand in his own. "Hell yes!"

They were mates now. Officially together forever, though regardless of the ceremony, Ochako knew Katsuki would never leave her side, just as she never wanted to leave his.

As they ran down the aisle, hand in hand, Ochako just knew there were going to be many more adventures for them in the future. She had no idea where they would go or what they would do, but she had a feeling she was going to love them all almost as much as she loved Bakugou Katsuki.

Together, they would always be by each other's side; connected by their hearts and their magic.

[medschoolash]

Do you mind sharing more your road to medical school? Only if you’re comfortable of course?

yeah sure anon! I’ve actually never written my full story on here or anywhere so I’m glad I get the chance to do it now and hopefully this encourages someone else to keep pursuing their goals or dreams. 

Warning this is a long story . 

so I graduated with a degree is biology back in 2012, it took me 5 years to finish that degree. I was initially a biochemistry major and I changed halfway thru, which put me behind a semester. The semester I was supposed to graduate my depression, something I had struggled with since childhood but never quite acknowledged, had worsened to the point that I could barely function as a student, so I ended up failing every class I took that semester which meant I had to comeback for another semester. 

My final semester in undergrad I prayed everyday for just Cs, that’s what I needed to graduate and that’s all I really wanted because I had zero energy to invest anymore. God heard my prayers and I finished the semester with straight Cs. 

this is the face of a depressed girl who had finished an academic journey well below where she’s used to being but who is grateful she even got to finish at all.

It’s safe to sat that after my terrible academic performance my medical school chances were shot to hell and my confidence in my ability to actually be a doctor what almost zero. I was an amazing student in HS, won every award imaginable, was student of the year, etc but undergrad just didn’t go that way for me. I started off strong and gradually declined as my mental health problems became worse and worse. So to finish the next part of my academic journey at such a low place academically was a blow to me. After graduation I had to make a decision about what I would do next. I thought about doing a post bac program but I couldn’t mentally handle more school and I had zero desire to get a masters in biology when I was so miserable as a biology major.

I ended up deciding to take a year off after graduation. I have amazing parents who support me so they were okay with my decision. I didn’t work or attend school and at times I felt like I was just wasting my life but I did do a lot of soul searching and I discovered what I was really passionate about it life. That time off gave me a chance to mentally rest and recover from a very hard phase of my life. It gave me the freedom to get to know myself better without the pressures and responsibilities of life. I was always aware that this was a privilege that a lot of people don’t get which made me extremely grateful for it. During this time period I was introduced to the field of public health. My best friend had left some months before to pursue a Masters degree in public health and she mentioned she felt I would like it. During my break I looked into it and I learned that it was the perfect combination of all that things I was passionate about at that time: medicine, community, service, and advocacy. The more I explored the field and myself the more I became sure that this was the next step in my path, that this would be the place that I could fine fulfillment while also doing something that could potentially made me a better medical school candidate. while I researched school I started a community health initiative through my church, volunteered in my community, and did small things that made me feel like I had purpose and was making some sort of difference in the world. 

One night when I was up at 3am binge watching the early seasons of game of thrones I saw an email about a school in California that offered a Masters of Public Health degree via their School of Community and Global health. I had always wanted to live in California and the school was perfect for what I was looking for so despite knowing that my grades technically weren’t what they needed to be for a graduate program (yes my undergrad GPA that THAT low) I applied to the school. I even took a huge risk and applied to ONLY that school because that’s how much faith I had about this being the next step for me. It was stressful waiting to hear back from the school and I had many moments of doubting if it was the right decision. I applied to the school in early 2013. The end of July early august approaches and I still haven’t heard anything back even though school starts the first week of September. All of my friends and family knew I would get in but I was seriously doubting. They believed in me so strongly they even gave me a surprise going away party before I even got accepted. 

My dad later encourages me to call the school so I call, fully expecting to hear that I was rejected. At the end of that phone call I learn that I had gotten into the school but I never received my acceptance letter because there was a mix up in their office with the reporting of my GRE scores. I cried as soon as I was told I was granted a conditional acceptance so I barely even processed that it was conditional and not full right away. Either way I was just happy that my faith had paid off, I was going to be attending a school in my dream area and studying something I was passionate about. 

I had less than 1 month to move halfway across the country which was hectic but my family was amazing and made the quick transition a breeze. In August 2013 I moved and once  I got there I now had to finally force myself to deal with the fact that I had a conditional acceptance looming over my head and if I didn’t perform up to par I would be dismissed.  This was also a very  expensive private school that is a part of a very prestigious consortium of colleges that based on stats I shouldn’t have even been accepted into. So  I couldn’t afford to fail at this.  This was stressful at first because my confidence in myself academically still wasn’t great after my experience in undergrad. Long story short tho, I needed to maintain at-least a 3.3 my first semester in order to be granted full acceptance and continue in the program…. I ended up with a 4.0 that first semester. I shocked myself with my performance and doing that well really gave me a much needed boost of confidence. After this first semester I slowly started to allow myself to really dream of medical school again and believe it was possible.

My Graduate experience ended up being exactly what I needed. I met amazing people while in my program, got to experience an amazing city like Los Angeles, and I started to really understand what kind of physician I wanted to be going forward. It was during this program that I realized that there was more to medicine than the science and that It should take more than just perfect grades to call yourself an MD.  I learned that I needed to be a doctor that their patients could trust, that could see the bigger picture outside of just their disease, that could advocate for them, that could treat them with respect and understand everything that affects their quality of life like income status, race, educational background, access to affordable transportation, food and healthcare, and health policy. This is where I decided that I wanted to be a primary care provider instead of a neurologist, where I finally found what my purpose truly was. It wasn’t to just be a doctor for the sake of being a doctor, it was to be a true servant of the people on a community level and global level. 

Despite all this amazing growth and the amazing experience, during my final year my depression and anxiety started to rear it’s ugly head again. It was even more dejecting this time around because I was so happy, so content, living such an amazing life but no matter what I seemed like I couldn’t escape. At the end of 2014 I had health issues that made my mother fly out to California for a week to take care of me and I had huge mental breakdown in February of 2015 (I wrote about it on here before). I remember crying to my friend in the UK about how I was tired of the up and down and how I felt like it was just hopeless for me at this point. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t leave my house, couldn’t make myself eat. Even a small task like combing my hair, brushing my teeth, or putting on proper clothes felt like a chore that I couldn’t do. It was the worst I had ever been.

Once again my academic performance started to suffer again. The only thing that really saved me was the fact that I was pretty much done in the classroom at this point.  I was mostly working on my internship with the exception of one elective class . That’s the only reason my GPA didn’t take a huge hit but my internship was threatened every week. I worked for an amazing organization in LA county that was dedicated to serving the health needs of the incarcerated population. My preceptor was so flexible and amazing that when I told him I had issues with anxiety that were preventing me from coming to the office he helped me arrange working from home. He did all he could to help me finish even when I missed deadlines, appointments, etc because I couldn’t leave my house. More than once he had to be firm and tell my that If I didn’t do better I wouldn’t be able to continue but he always managed to find some grace to extend to me. His final act of grace was granting me an extension on my internship year. 

Basically what happened was by the time the beginning of May 2015 rolled around I did not have the hours to complete my internship. This was okay from a school perspective because it meant that I could still walk, but from an internship perspective I was very behind, well behind my initial contract and they didn’t have to extend it to allow me to finish. My preceptor sat me down and wrote out a plan that would require me to put in very strict hours until October of that year and if I finished by that deadline then they would sign my paperwork that would allow my degree to officially be conferred by the university. I was so grateful for the grace that I cried in his office.

I walked for graduation in the May 2015 ceremony got the summer off, then returned to california to complete my internship and my capstone. 

this was me on graduation day, 3 months after a major mental breakdown

Nothing but the grace of God got me through those months after my breakdown and the next few months. I mustered up every piece of energy and courage I could find and finished my Internship by my deadline in October and my preceptor signed off. My final project was designing an in custody Hepatitis eduction program to add on to their existing HIV education program, something that I am extremely proud of doing since LA county has one of the largest prison populations in the entire world and the vast majority of those incarcerated are black people. 

Immediately after my internship was done I went through a very trying family issue that once again sent me into a spiral. I had initially planned on staying in LA to work in public health until I decided to apply to medical school but after talking to my family I ended up deciding that moving back home near my family would be the better option so I left a city I loved and returned to my parents house. While home I decided that I was tired of not getting help for my mental health issues so I made the decision of finally get into therapy. I made the decision because I knew I could never be a doctor unless I got help. I also made the decision because I was tired of being held back in life because of it, because I was tired of having every good moment tainted my illness, because I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was living. 

The beginning of 2016 was so hard because therapy, though helpful, opened up so many old wounds. I was often drained after my session (I would walk around whole foods for an hour buying random stuff after each session just to get some of the weight off my shoulders before returning home) but the experience was so freeing that I kept going and I could see the improvement. I learned so much about myself and why certain things have repeated itself at every stage of my life. I learned so many valuable skills and unlearned so many harmful thought processes and behaviors.For the first time since I was a child I finally felt like a free person, not like a walking pit of achievements and expectations, not like a sick person, not like a person just going thru the motions. This helped me finally decide that I was ready to purse medicine again.

My initial plan was to apply to medical school while I was in my graduate program so that I could stark right after graduation but I was so paralyzed with depression and anxiety I would stare at my MCAT book and just cry for hours because I didn’t feel good enough, I didn’t feel smart enough, I didn’t feel worthy enough, and I didn’t feel strong enough to even take that exam let alone actually be a real doctor. So I put it off. I remember being in my therapist office crying because I wanted to be a doctor so badly but It felt out of reach with my grades and history. The day I finally found the courage to schedule my MCAT exam I actually cried as I pressed the process button. I remember sitting in my therapist’s office crying as she smiled and encouraged my for having the bravery to face something that brings me so much anxiety and for having the courage to keep going forward despite the uncertainty. 

If this was a Disney movie I would have scored super high on my MCAT and then been accepted into my first choice school but life isn’t a Disney movie. 

I was scored barely high enough to be competitive but not high enough to offset my academic history so I was rejected in my first round of medical school applications. Prior to therapy I would have completely crumbled and given up, but because I was so much better at that point, so much stronger and braver I cried my initial tears and sat down to restudy for the MCAT again two days later. I was determined to do better, to cope better, and manage my life better. I started yoga, kept going to therapy, and spent time with myself and my friends and family and really finally healed and grew as a person

During this time I prepared my second round of applications for medical school, I applied to over 16 schools with the full knowledge that my application wasn’t as competitive as it needed to be but knowing I had what it took to be a good doctor and somehow it would work out for me. I retook the MCAT and got literally the exact same score as before lol I took that as a sign that I didn’t need to put my faith in an arbitrary measure of intelligence that actually had no bearing on whether or not I would actually make a good doctor or do well on the boards (research backs this up) and instead that needed to put my faith in myself and In God. 

During my previous round of applications I heard about IMG medical schools and I started an application for one school but never finished it because I remembered the stereotypes about IMG students and how they weren’t respected in the states or didn’t make it. During my second round of applications I ended up talking to an associate that was at a small Caribbean school. She told me about her experience and really made me open minded about pursing this alternative path. After doing lots of research I learned that the school I almost applied to at first is one of the most respected IMG schools out there and has given thousands of students the chance to be physicians. 

I decided to apply just before my US medical school rejection letters started coming it. There were a few times that I started to feel like I would never get in or if I did I would be making a huge mistake by going. shortly after sending my application I started a job in a hospital emergency department and while there I learned that 2 of our main ED doctors were actually IMG graduates. I also learned that the hospital had two residents from the school I applied to. This was so encouraging to me because it showed my that I wasn’t wrong. IMG grads can make it, and they aren’t any different from any other grad. They have MD behind their names and perform their jobs just as well as anyone else. The IMG docs were getting the same respect and salary as the Stanford grad on staff. None of that truly mattered, what mattered was can you do your job and do it well. 

What a lot of people don’t tell you about IMG schools is that yes a lot of people attend because they have a rocky academic history, but many attend because they were excellent students but US schools just didn’t have the space for them (google how much of a physical shortage US hospitals have because US schools can’t meet the demand with their low acceptance rates). Many attend because they decided to be doctors later in life and had huge gaps between degrees that US schools found unattractive. Many of them are good enough to be excellent doctors, they just needed the opportunity to do so, I was one of those students. 

After getting rejected by all 16 schools I applied to I ended getting into my current medical program BUT it once again it wasn’t a complete acceptance. I was granted conditional acceptance into the school of medicine, the condition being I had to pass a strenuous hard sciences program with a 3.5 GPA (well above the GPA requirement actual first year medical students need to pass into the next term) AND I had to pass a comprehensive exam at the end of the program with at least a 75. This brought on so much anxiety because if I failed to meet this high standard I would not be allowed to continue and my medical journey would truly be over. Most of the students who get placed in this program don’t pass because it’s that hard. I had 6 different classes, the most credit hours I have ever taken at one time in my life, each with their own exams and class requirements. This was truly the test that would show how much I had grown because this was the most pressure I had ever faced. I was walking into a program thousands of miles away from my family and friends on a secluded island and being placed into a situation that could trigger every single one of my issues. Instead of quitting before I even started I decided I was going to do it, I was going to mass no matter what, I wasn’t gonna let anything stand in my way. I felt like this was what all my suffering had prepared me for, this was what all the delays was for. It was to get to a place where I felt strong enough to give this my all and perform as well as I knew I could. 

My time in the first program was hard. I missed my family, I never felt like I could take breaks, I cried so many times because there was so much doubt and pressure at times. I cried before my first round of exams in the program thinking I would do terribly and I ended up getting As on every exam except one. This helped my confidence tremendously and I finally started to believe deep down inside that I could do this. By the time my program had ended I had lost friends because grades made them withdraw or because of petty reasons and I had a relapse with anxiety that sent me to the department of psychological services once a week for 2 months. But through it all I made it though a program where 150 people started, only 90 made it to finals, and only 50 of those 90 passed (many on appeals) with All As and 1 B and an A on the comprehensive exam. 

I did that, I worked my ass off in a foreign place and I performed at a level that I didn’t think I was even capable of for a long time. I passed with flying colors, I passed with no doubt that I was capable, that I was strong enough to endure this process, that I could achieve every dream that felt our of reach for so long. 

This is the face of a person who worked so hard for so long, who battled so much and finally got to wear the coat that she felt so unworthy of for a long time. This is the face of someone who earned her place at the table that no one can ever take from her. 

and this is the face of the girl who based on undergraduate grades and probably every statistic out there shouldn’t have gotten into medical school but who just finished her first official term as a medical student with an A average and  in the top 10% of her class. This is the face of a person who is as happy as she’s ever been and as whole as she’s ever been. 

[ffismynotsoguiltypleasure]

Isn’t there anything else to talk about?

Hi, this time I have ventured into HP universe.

Teacher/student AU.

*********************************************************************************************** After five years of attending the Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, Hermione Granger thought, that she was used to many of the ocurrencies of the magical world, even though she was of non-magical descent. But as it usually is, the suprises come, when you least expect them. There was no way of knowing, that her sixth year would turn out to be quite life-changing. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. That first day of September was just like any other beginning of the school year. She had breakfast with her parents, who took her to the King's Cross station in London, from where she took the train towards another school year at Hogwarts. What she didn't know however, was that the Fate had prepared for her a completely different school year, far from anything she could have imagined. And it all started that day. The train ride was relatively unveventful. Apart from patrols on the train and some snide comments from Pansy Parkinson, everything seemed fine. Hermione spend the rest of the ride with her friend Neville, trying to find his ever escaping pet toad. Upon arrival to the castle, all the students were ushered to the Great Hall to await the first years' sorting ceremony and the following feast. As ordinary as it might have seemed (she has been through it each year of her Hogwarts studies), this moment was supposed to have far more greater significance for her, but she didn't know it yet. When she entered the Great Hall, she felt unusually excited without any apparent reason. They sat at their usual spot at the Gryffindor table, but Hermione was fidgeting, as if something were bothering her. 'Hermione, are you okay?' Neville asked. 'What? Oh, sorry, I'm fine. I think it's just a little bit of stress from starting new school year, with the bigger workload due to preparation for NEWTs next year. Don't worry,' she smiled at her friend. Her eyes roamed the hall. The starry sky above them somewhat calming her. The doors opened and a group of around twenty first years entered, their looks mostly nervous, a bit scared and definitely amazed. The sorting could begin. Professor Flitwick brought a wooden stool with an old ragged pointed hat. The seam above the brim opened up and the Sorting hat started singing its song, presenting the four houses of Hogwarts, each of them enhancing a different personal quality. Then the sorting itself started with Andrews, Sonia (Ravenclaw). Hermione really tried to pay attention to the hat and the new students, but her mind simply could't focus on what was going on. It was as if she had an out-of-body experience, watching herself from afar, sitting there at the Gryffindor table with Neville and the rest of her housemates. The only thing she could really see and absorb, was a new person sitting at the teacher's table. He had dark hair, pale skin, he was wearing black robes. The bespectacled man seemed to be around his mid-twenties. He was seemingly watching the sorting, though his gaze seemed a little bit unfocused. When the sorting came to an end with the last student joining the Gryffindor table, the headmistress McGonagall stood up to give her annual speech. She stressed all the rules (do not roam the hallways at night, do not enter the Forbidden Forest, no spells in the hallways...) and after that came the time to introduce the new members of the teacher's board. 'Let me welcome between us our new professors, professor O'Connell, taking over the Astronomy classes, and professor Potter, who will be teaching Defense against the Dark Arts.' In that moment all of the students started talking among themselves. No one could contain their excitement. The Boy-Who-Lived, the savior of the wizarding world would be their teacher? How is that possible? Did anyone know about it? 'Quiet, please.' McGonagall's voice echoed through the Great Hall. 'Professor Potter will be a teacher like any other in this school and I request you to treat him as such. He is by no means to be treated as a spectacle and I expect all of you to respect his privacy. Thank you.' After the final words of the headmistress, the tables filled with delicious food and the students and professors dug in. *********************************************************************************************** After the feast, Hermione helped the fifth year prefects gather all the first years to take them to their common room. Neville was waiting for her at the door, so they could walk together and talk a little before going to sleep. 'So,' Neville started hesitantly, 'what do you think?' 'About what?' Hermione asked. 'A-about the new professors?' 'Well, to be honest, even though I respect professor McGonagall, I don't think that selecting a celebrity like Harry Potter is good for the students.' 'What? Why?' surprised Neville asked. 'He beat You-Know-Who, he survived the death curse. Twice. He-' 'I know. I have read all about that in his biography and in The Great Wizards of The Current Times and Magical Society of 20th Century. But it all seems so far fetched, unreal, like he survived only by sheer dumb luck. And I'm not entirely sure that qualifies him as a suitable teacher for the Defense Against the Dark Arts. That is all.' 'But Hermione, he worked as an auror. I'm sure he must have had some skills when it came to battling dark magic,' Neville argued. 'I guess we will see in the next DADA class.' Hermione ended their debate as they entered the Gryffindor common room. As it seemed, the new DADA professor was all the students were talking about. The boys were excited to learn new spells, guaranteed to best all their opponents, while girls were gushing about his good looks and fame. There were also some comments on his private life, but Hermione couldn't be bothered with all that. She wasn't really the type to judge the book based on its cover. She walked the stairs to enter the dorm room she shared with two more girls, Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown. Both of them were currently sitting on their beds in their pyjamas, chatting excitedly about something. 'Hi, Hermione. How was your summer?' Parvati asked. 'Hello, it was nice, we went to France with my parents. How about yours?' 'Oh, don't even ask. My family and I went to India to visit our family there. Apparently, my great uncle was trying to set up an arranged marriage for me. He introduced us to the guy he picked, he must have been at least thirty. Ewww!' Parvati scrunched her nose. 'And how did it go in the end?' 'Well, my parents politely declined saying, they have already selected a partner for me here in Britain. Which, of course, is not true, but worked well enough to get great uncle to stop looking for suitable suitors for me.' 'What about you Lavender?' Hermione asked the other girl. 'Well, you know how it goes. We went to my grandma's and stayed there for almost the whole summer. But,' Lavender held up a finger, 'this summer there was a very yummy boy staying in the house across the street. So he made my summer a little bit more bearable.' Lavender said with a smirk. 'But let's get to the real topic of the day - what do you think of our newest addition to the teacher's board of Hogwarts?' 'Why is everyone so smitten by him? Isn't there anyone or anything else to talk about?' Hermione couldn't hold back her annoyance. 'Isn't there any other juicy piece of gossip worthy your time other than Harry Potter?' Parvati, surprised at Hermione's outburst, replied: 'Not at the moment.' 'Aaargh!' Hermione rolled her eyes and turned to prepare herself for bed. 'What is so special about him?' 'He is the Boy Who Lived,' Lavender started. 'The only known person to survive death curse.' 'Also he was the Chosen One, the man who defeated the Dark Lord,' Parvati continued. 'And, of course, he is a celebrity in the wizarding world, the Prophet is following his every move.' 'And his good looks may have also something to do with it.' Parvati finished their rant. 'Oh my god, is this really what it's going to look like during the whole school year?' Hermione asked horrified and somewhat irritated, even though she didn't exactly understand the reason for said irritation. 'Trust me, that we are far from the worst, Hermione,' Lavender replied with a sympathetic smile, that turned into a grin she usually sported when she was about to reveal a really scandalous information. 'I have heard Romilda Vane from 7th year gushing about how gorgeous he is and how she is determined to get him no matter what it takes. Even at the cost of a love potion.' 'This is exactly what I meant!' Hermione exclaimed. 'How can any of us prepare for the exams and NEWTs when the professor himself is such a distracting element?' 'I wouldn't mind him distracting me...' Parvati grinned and winked at both girls. 'Why do I even bother?' Hermione gave up, gathering her things and heading to the bathroom. She heard girls behind her laugh, their giggles muffled by the closing door.

[moonbeambucky]

The Price of Gold - Epilogue

Pairing: Lance Tucker x Reader Word Count: 3973 Warnings: fluff

Summary: As a sports journalist you’ve traveled the world interviewing famous athletes. You’ve loved your job up until you find out your next article is on the last person in the world you ever wanted to talk to, Lance Tucker.

A/N: I can’t believe this is over! Thank you so much to everyone who has supported this! This fic has been my life for the past few months and it really means so much to me! Written for @green-eyeddragonfanfiction Dragon’s 3k Follower Creative Content Challenge. My prompt was “I can’t be in love with you!” gif source (x) 

PART 18 | THE PRICE OF GOLD MASTERLIST

Saturdays were the busiest day for Tucker Gymnastics, with most parents available on the weekend to accompany their kids as they learned gymnastics from one of the very best in the field. On this particular Saturday the center was closed for a private event, one that would show no profits but make Lance Tucker’s heart richer with love.

Ariel Tucker, named after her mother’s favorite mermaid, was turning two years old today and Lance closed the center to the public to finally give Ariel her first official gymnastics lesson.

Waking up slowly you felt Lance’s chest pressed to your back, hearing his soft snores made your lips curve into smile with a sudden urge to look at his face. Shifting on to your back Lance inhaled stiffly, the corners of his lips pulling upwards as he nuzzled against you again.

“Good morning beautiful,” he said in a raspy whisper, his eyes still closed. It was the way he greeted you every morning since you moved in together and you never got tired of hearing it.

Within two years of dating you and Lance were married. It was the wedding you always dreamed of. Held at an estate south of Spring Hill you were married with an ocean backdrop, a cool breeze flowing through the air. Friends and family surrounding you to celebrate your special day, with both you and Lance shedding a few more tears than anticipated.

The moment he saw you it was like the world stopped spinning. Accompanied by your father, you glided down the aisle like an angel floating through the heavens. Wearing a strapless ivory mermaid style dress, lace and beads beautifully accentuated your body. Carrying a large bouquet of cascading flowers colored like the beautiful sunset behind him Lance thought it was the perfect accent to a more than perfect wedding– that is until you stood before him.

The tears that had formed in his eyes suddenly dropped down his cheeks as he smiled at the delicate pearls around your neck. They were Dorothy’s, given to you after her passing as part of her wishes. You knew the significance, these were the pearls Lance’s Grandma Ruth had worn on her wedding which she passed down to Dorothy for her wedding who always knew she would give it to you.

You choked back your own tears, smiling as you and Lance held each other’s hands during the ceremony, knowing how lucky you were that after half of your lives apart you found each other again.

“Good morning baby,” you replied, scratching your fingers through his hair, enjoying the surprisingly peaceful morning for as long as you could.

He was in need of a haircut, letting the time in between appointments go longer than he was used to. He didn’t mind though, his hair was the least of his concerns, not when any free time could be spent with you and Ariel. He needed a shave too, his stubble coming in a lot more than he normally let it. The combination made him look a little older but in a more distinguished way. No longer was he the spiky haired arrogant gymnast but the man you always dreamed you would grow old with (and thankfully no warts were to be found!)

“Speaking of babies,” he paused to rub his hand along your swollen belly, “How is the little guy doing?”

You were halfway through your second pregnancy, the name of your son to be determined. For now he was just “the little guy” and you were excited to welcome him as part of your growing family.

“Well he’s pressing on my bladder and if I don’t get up right this second I’m definitely going to pee on the bed,” you joked.

It was time to get up anyway, with Ariel’s giddy anticipation for her birthday you certain she would come flying into your bedroom any minute. Pushing yourself to sit up you were about to get off the bed before Lance called out for you to wait.

Turning around he stood on his knees in the center of the bed, dressed in boxers and white t-shirt, moving closer towards you for a kiss. Despite his morning breath you would have kissed him for hours, or until Ariel would undoubtedly come in, but at this moment you had to push him away as you clenched your legs together while running to the bathroom.

Lance laughed at your loud sigh of relief through the door for finally being able to pee. He laid back on the bed, his arm thrown over his eyes to block the strong morning sunlight from coming in through the window. With a smile plastered on his face Lance thought about how lucky he was to have this life.

He’s pulled from his peaceful reprieve as the pitter-patter of tiny feet echo off the wood floor, with tiny hands reaching up and grabbing the blanket. A quiet voice squeaks out a call for her Dad who turns and smiles at his little girl, lifting her up. Purple painted toes support her tiny frame that barely makes a dent on the mattress.

Born six weeks premature, Ariel required a short stay in the NICU, with you and Lance at her side every day. She made it through without any major complications except for the fact that her parents were even more overprotective of her. It was the main reason Lance hadn’t begun teaching her gymnastics.

You and Ariel visited Lance quite often at the center and she was always squirming to get out of your arms and join her Dad and the other kids for what she thought was playtime. She was so much smaller than the other children, and even though Lance would be at her side through each move he didn’t want his little girl to get hurt in any way; you both agreed she wasn’t ready yet.

Lance kissed her forehead, rolling down her Doc McStuffins pajama top that shifted up to expose her cute belly button.

“Daddy guesshwhat?”

Lance sat up against the headboard, “What is it Starfish?” he excitedly asked.

“Is my buhhthday!” she grinned, showing off her tiny teeth.

“It is?” he feigned surprise. “How old are you today?”

“I twoo!” she replied, holding up two small fingers.

“No you can’t be two! You’re my little baby,” Lance said, scooping her up into his arms as if he were cradling an infant, pressing kisses all over her face as she giggled from his ticklish stubble.

“No… I... Big... Girl,” she said in between fits of laughter.

Lance shifted Ariel so she faced him, “Okay, okay, you’re my big girl. What does my big girl want to do for her birthday?”

Ariel’s face lit up like fireworks, “Tumbwle!”

You stood in the doorframe watching their exchange, your heart growing bigger in size at the love Lance had for your daughter. He was the perfect father, loving, gentle, kind; he was the antithesis of Mitch Tucker.

“Daddy and I will take you to tumble but first we have a surprise for you!” you spoke up, your voice catching your daughter’s attention.

She jumped out of Lance’s arms, plopping down towards the end of the bed as you walked towards her. Sitting on her knees she was face to face with your large stomach and pressed a kiss to your belly.

“Good mawning bwother,” she said. For now Ariel was excited to have a sibling, once your or Lance’s attention is diverted from her there might be an issue.

Ariel was the sweetest little girl with an equal mix of Lance and your younger selves in her. She loved to sing, making up her own songs that she would perform as you and Lance sat together on the couch watching and cheering for her.

Like her namesake she was always in the water, with you and Lance playing “mermaids” with her. With floaties secured around her arms you would hold her by the waist on the surface of the water as her arms swept out in front of her with her legs wildly splashing behind. Ariel would swim to Lance and rescue him from the evil Ursula, also known as a smiling inflatable octopus pool toy.

When she was out of the water Ariel was never without her favorite teddy bear, your own childhood bear that once sat on the shelf proudly displaying Lance’s first medal, that is until Ariel made grabby hands and began to cry for the doll. The medal is now on your nightstand, hanging off a framed photo from your wedding day, a daily reminder of how far you and Lance have come.

Lance dressed Ariel as you prepared breakfast. Things had changed so much since you were a kid, now there were endless recipes on Pinterest to choose from, some you were able to master and others not so much. Today you made whole grain pancakes, pouring out two smaller circles of batter that would become the ears on the bear you were going to create. Using banana slices you placed them on the smaller pancakes as the inside of the bear’s ear, and one on the larger pancake as the snout, with chocolate chips becoming the eyes and nose.

In a small bowl was a plain yogurt with a fruit rainbow of raspberries, mandarin oranges, sliced green grapes and blueberries. So much work goes into preparing such a pretty breakfast all the time, your parents definitely had it easier.

Clinging to Lance’s frame as he went down the steps Ariel wore a coral halter romper with a hibiscus flower print and white strappy sandals with a large flower embellishment. He placed her at the table in her booster seat as she smiled at her pancakes.

“Where Teddy?” she worriedly asked before you brought him out from the table behind her.

Teddy required delicate cleaning since he was an old bear, something you occasionally did overnight as Ariel slept.

After eating and cleaning up yogurt on Ariel’s cheeks the three of you grab the bag you packed and head out to the garage. You handed Lance your car keys as you opened the door for Ariel, securing her in her car seat as Lance adjusted the mirrors.

“You know you’re gonna need a new car babe,” you said, as Lance pulled out of the garage and clicked a button for the door to close. Lance still had his convertible Mustang though the top has been up every time he’s driven with Ariel as per your insistence. “There’s no way you’re going to be able to fit another car seat in that thing,” you continued.

“Yeah I know,” he defeatedly huffed. “But there’s no way I’m getting a minivan!”

You burst out laughing as he looked over at you, his blue eyes full of stern conviction.

“Definitely not!” you agreed. “You’ll have to get something soon though, the little guy’s coming in a just a few months.”

“There’s still so much to do! New car, finish his room, name him!” Lance chuckled.

“Yeah I know,” you said running your hands over your stomach. “Well at least we know what we don’t want. No Brayden, Aiden, Grayson or Mason...”

“Yeah, not happening. Hey Starfish, what do you think we should name your brother?” Lance called out to Ariel who was playing with her dolls.

In one hand was Teddy and the other was Stuffy, the blue dragon from Doc McStuffins. Her growing brain mulled over the decision of names between the two stuffed animals. “Stuffy!” she cried out.

“Stuffy Tucker?” Lance questioned.

“Well, maybe if he has allergies,” you joked. “Sweetie what’s the name of the police dog on PAW Patrol?” It took a while for you and Ariel to think of the name until it finally hit you. “Chase! Lance, what about Chase?”

“Hmmm,” Lance mused out loud, “It’s a maybe.”

You quickly reached your destination, bringing Ariel for her first visit to Weeki Wachee. She had no idea what was happening until the “mermaids” swam in and Ariel gasped out loud, crying out “Mermaid!”

She was watching them in the same awe struck manner as you once did, pointing towards the viewing window as the mermaids swam by with a large smile plastered on her face.

Next you went to the wildlife show, with Lance having to hold Ariel tight in his lap as she kept wanting to pet all the animals. Your anxiety increased as the teenage employee kept bringing out progressively larger snakes until he finally showed off a small alligator.

Now that you were a mom you tried to find the balance between allowing Ariel the freedom to grow up while still being nurturing and protective. Right now you were going to be protective, extremely protective and used this opportunity to remind Ariel that these animals are not pets. Blowing out a harsh breath you wondered if you caused your own parents as much worry.

After the show you sat at a picnic table for a snack, giving Ariel a sippy cup of milk and putting out some Cheerios, string cheese and a mandarin orange that you shared with her. Lance made sure you ate more than just that, pulling out carrot sticks and a granola bar from the bag along with some water. Smiling you leaned forward to kiss him in return for his thoughtfulness.

You were taking a lot of precaution as the risk of another premature birth was always there. Lance was a big help, staying home more often to allow you more time to rest. Your workload lightened as well. You were still able to Skype with athletes for your articles but travel was out of the question. You were thankful having prepared a lot in advance to release during your maternity leave.

After eating you took Ariel on the boat ride. She sat in between you and Lance as she excitedly pointed out every fish, turtle and bird that you passed. When the ride was over you asked the driver to take your photo, the three of you saying “cheese” in unison, though Ariel screamed the word, which echoed off the roof of the boat.

Finally, you were headed to Tucker Gymnastics and Ariel was bubbling with anticipation. Lance had gone into his office, you suspect to check in on calls and emails while he waited for his girls. After a quick trip to the bathroom for both you and Ariel, you changed her into a shimmery purple leotard.

Lance’s door was still shut so you picked barefoot Ariel up carefully and walked her over to the photo of young Lance and Dorothy.

“This is your Daddy as a kid!” you said, pointing to him in the picture. “And this is your Grandma Dorothy. She is Daddy’s mommy.”

“Where Gamma Dowthy?” Ariel innocently asked.

“Grandma Dorothy is everywhere. When the sun warms up the day that’s Grandma Dorothy giving you a big warm hug, and when the moon is out at night she’s looking over and watching you sleep.”

Though she’s too young to truly understand you wanted Ariel to know Dorothy and one day when she’s older you know Lance will have her read your article. He still considers it one of the greatest gifts you’ve ever given him, though nothing compares to the love you show him every day, and the family you’ve made together.

Lance pulled open the door to his office, stepping out with a serious look on his face. He tightened a red bandana wrapped around his forehead and clapped his hands together, “Let’s do this!”

Reaching into his pocket he walked over to Ariel, pulling out a smaller bandana for her to match him. Ariel leaned towards Lance who took her from your arms and you followed them into the main gym. Lance leaned down in front of his antsy little girl who would not sit still as he gathered her hair together to tie it up and tie the bandana on her.

Once she was ready Lance put his palm up, “Let’s go for the gold!”

Ariel slapped his hand, “Go faw gold!”

Lance started slow, easing her into tumbles. “Squat like a frog,” he said, adjusting her hands and feet, “Now stick your tushie in the air and look at your belly button.”

Ariel giggled at the way Lance taught her but he guided her through the movement, assuring her head was placed properly for her to roll through. Lance made it a fun as she repeated the motions until she got it before moving on to a backwards roll. She was definitely Lance’s kid as she completed a backwards roll much more gracefully than you ever could.

With your phone in hand you took a bunch of photos and videos, all of which you knew you would have to send your parents. Even though they would be coming over later for cake and presents they insisted on having their own copy of every picture of their granddaughter and you can’t blame them. Your own phone was filled with thousands of pictures of your beautiful girl.

Lance worked on some poses, teaching her how to do a bridge. Soon she was in a downward dog position in front of the wall. Lance told her to keep her arms strong as he braced one hand on her arms and the other under her stomach for support.

“Walk your feet up the walls,” he said, as her little feet staggered asymmetrically up the wall. “You’re doing great Starfish!”

It wasn’t quite a handstand, not yet at least but you know with Lance’s guidance she would get there one day, just as you did.

Afterwards Lance whispered something in Ariel’s ear that made her jump up and down. Lance carried Ariel to the balance beam that was closest to the ground, placing her down and standing behind her as he cupped his hands around his mouth as he announced, “The US Women’s Gymnastics Team proudly presents ARIEL TUCKER!”

You pleaded for him to wait so you could record this. When you were ready Lance lifted Ariel onto the beam, holding her hands as she walked across it, stopping midway as he told her to jump up. As Ariel jumped Lance lifted her up high over his head before placing her gently down on the beam again. She walked to the end of the beam, jumping off as Lance held her.

He carried her over to the uneven bars, still gripping her waist as he held her up, instructing Ariel to hold on to the lower bar. He swayed her body from side to side, all while providing commentary on how the young gymnast has skillfully mastered the uneven bars. Next was the pommel horse, where Lance held her up and she wasn’t sure quite what to do. Lance began to tickle her stomach and so she burst into a fit of giggles, her little feet stomping up and down which made it look like she was dancing.

“And for her final challenge, the vault!” his voice boomed.

Ariel clung to Lance as he stood midway in the runway. He jogged lightly, dodging the vault and jumping into the foam block pit behind it.

“Ariel Tucker wins the gold!” Lance cheered, kissing Ariel on the cheek. She nuzzled into the crook of his neck, stretching her arms around him and you were so happy to have recorded that moment.

Lance placed Ariel on the mat’s as he pulled himself out of the pit, scooping her into his arms again to head back to his office. He opened the small refrigerator that was stocked up on juices boxes and snacks for Ariel. She sat in his chair, swinging her dangling legs around as she sipped from an apple juice box.

“Here,” he said, grabbing a water bottle for you and pulling out a packet of almonds from his desk. “Come on babe, you know you want my nuts.”

“Lance!” you yelled in a whispered voice.

“What? It’s protein,” he smirked, opening the packet and tossing a few almonds into his mouth before handing it to you so he could untie his bandana.

You shook your head at him all while smiling and Lance leaned closer to rub the tip of his nose against yours, your face scrunching in return at the contact.

“I love you so much Lance,” you said, tilting your head to press a kiss to his lips.

He pulled away quickly asking, “What about Jim?” You squinted at him in confusion, wondering who Jim was and why you were supposed to love them.

“For the baby. Maybe Jim for gymnastics. Or James. James Tucker,” Lance worked through his reasoning out loud.

“Definitely not Jim. James is a maybe.”

Lance cupped your cheeks in his hands and leaned in to kiss you more sincerely, pulling away from each other before things got too steamy.

After arriving home you put Ariel down for a short nap. With Teddy by her side you tucked Ariel in and went downstairs to begin baking her birthday cake. Passing the photos that hung on the walls you stopped to smile at each one, pausing at Dorothy’s photo wishing she was here to see her grandchildren.

Lance stood behind you as you measured flour into a large mixing bowl, pressing a kiss to your neck which made you squirm with delight.

“Look at this,” you said, reaching your arms out in front of you, “I feel like I’m so far away from the counter!” You laughed as you gestured to your large belly that kept you back from the countertop.

“Just a few more months,” Lance said, pressing a kiss to your temple.

You continued to prepare the ingredients, placing them in the mixer and setting it. You saw Lance was attempting to say something but you couldn’t hear him over the sound. Once everything was done you smiled and he repeated himself.

“I asked if you should really be on your feet, Y/N. You have to take it easy,” he said, bringing over a stool.

You looked warily at the seat, “I think I might break it,” you half joked and Lance shook his head.

Instead of getting on the stool you took Lance’s hand in yours, “Lance, I have an idea for a name,” you said softly.

Lance waited for you to continue, rubbing his thumb along your hand.

“What about Theodore? For your Mom,” you suggested, looking up at him with hopeful eyes as you waited for his response.

Lance’s lips curved into a bittersweet smile, once again you found the perfect way to honor Dorothy.

His palm caressed the swell of your belly, “I love it Y/N, I love you, I love you so much,” he whispered before capturing your lips in a sweet kiss.

“I love you too.”

The night was filled with laughter as Ariel ran around with your parents, opened up her presents and ended up with frosting all over her face.

Lance picked her up in his arms, laughing as she leaned forward to place a sticky kiss to your cheek. Your parents snapped the perfect photo with all three of you laughing widely. You wiped Ariel’s face and then cleaned your own, tucking yourself under Lance’s other arm for another picture.

The life you imagined with Lance had gone off track for a bit but you were thankful everyday for being given the opportunity to come back to each other. Lance stood proudly, with one arm wrapped around you, his little girl clinging to his other side like a starfish on a rock.

The Olympics were a distant memory, fading away as Lance finally achieved his greatest accomplishment and was rewarded with gold every day in the form of the love he shared with his family. 🏅

🏅 THE PRICE OF GOLD PARENTHOOD DRABBLES 🏅

[ask-ace-attorney-mpreg]

||Name: Simon Sahdmadhi

Is this your first time using our service? No

Do you have a photo or DNA of the preferred “father” of your child? Yes

Write it here: The official photo after his coronation

Father ID: Nahyuta Khura’in Sahdmadhi

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On a scale of one to ten how long would you prefer your contractions? 3

On a scale on one to ten how long would you prefer your labor? Write several scales if more than one child. 4

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Please submit your form in our submission box, and we will get to you as soon as we can.

  Name: Nahyuta Khura’in Sahdmadhi

Is this your first time using our service? Yes

Do you have a photo or DNA of the preferred “father” of your child? Yes

Write it here: Wedding photo

Father ID: Simon Sahdmadhi

Will the father be present? Yes

No. of children desired? 1

On a scale of one to ten how long would you prefer your contractions? 6

On a scale on one to ten how long would you prefer your labor? Write several scales if more than one child. 1

Would you like assistance during delivery? No

Would you like to customise your delivery? If so, circle what you want to experience.

Pain / pleasure / joy / peace / add your own Love

Would you like to keep the child after the birth? Yes.

Please submit your form in our submission box, and we will get to you as soon as we can. ||

  Tuesday, 16 May 2038

Nervously Nahyuta handed in his form and took his husbands hand. Softly Simon smiled at him and wordlessly pulled him into the direction of their nurse.

A joined birth. The facility had adapted well over time and also was giving them the possibility for such unique experience. Professionally they were led into a white room, prepared with two blue loading t-shirts and a pill for each.

The nurse smiled at Simon and then turned to Nahyuta: “Your Gracefulness has already witnessed the process of the loading, I was told?”

Nahyuta swallowed and looked to Simon, who merely smirked at the title and sat down on the table.

“I did”, Nahyuta confessed yet asked nevertheless, “but as this is my first time experiencing it myself, I would like to go through the procedure with you one time. It’s been almost four years after all.”

The nodded and motioned to the t-shirt: “This is your loading shirt. Just change into it and then take the pill when you are ready. The child will load, and you’ll see the progress on the loading bar. When both of you have reached 100%, I will come to fetch you. Is this a satisfactory answer, Your Gracefulness?”

Nahyuta nodded and they left the room. He turned to Simon, who observed him closely.

“You don’t have to do this. I’m happy enough to carry twins once more”, Simon offered and pulled him towards himself.

Two months after the triplets they had moved to Khura’in and a month later Simon had proposed. They had married a year later and then Nahyuta had been coronated.

Their family was happy as ever. Metis loved her new royal father and was excited to live in Khura’in, just as much as the twins who still got to see their biological father quite often due to his frequent visits to Khura’in. And their triplet girls were blooming in their roles as princesses.

And so was Simon in his position as consort to the king. He was excused from many political meetings but for official ceremonies and state receptions he always backed up his husband and was liked by the public. His calm and humble demeanour behind their king impressed them and they also appreciated his skills as prosecutor.

He had even been offered the position of the chief prosecutor, which he politely denied. He was not in court to lead his colleagues; he was there to prosecute criminals.

“No!” Nahyuta insisted and pulled himself out of the embrace. “We both decided that we wanted more children and I can’t have you going through a multiples birth again. Your heading to your forties and -”

He cleared his throat and flustered. Simon started to laugh and pulled up his shirt. For a man in his late thirties, who had also carried out six children in three pregnancies he looked still astoundingly fit, Nahyuta remarked and thought about the small love handles on his hips.

He let out a sigh and took the shirt in his hands. He wanted to share this with Simon. And he also wanted to feel what he had felt while carrying their lovely children. He wanted to understand this completely unconditional love in his eyes when he looked at them and he wanted to feel that too. Even if it was scary.

Finally, he followed the nurse’s orders and took off his shirt while Simon had already pulled his over his head. With a smirk in his face the black-haired man winked at him and leaned on the table. The pill laid in his fist and Nahyuta still hesitated to grab his.

“I will take mine now, okay?” Simon asked patiently.

With that Nahyuta grabbed his and walked up in front of him. Scared but still certain he hinted a nod and kissed his man.

Simon laughed in his lips and bowed his head until their forehead touched.

“You will fare well. I know it. You’re strong and kind. Not many men would treat Metis, Katsu and Jun like their own, especially when you have three sweet little princesses that actually share the same blood. I’m proud to call you my partner and if you don’t want this, I will not fault you for it. I never could.”

Nahyuta smiled and moved away. Cautiously he crossed the room and sat down on a chair. He nodded in Simon’s direction and gave him his consent to start.

Simon tilted his head and swallowed his pill. He moaned in relaxation grinned at his stomach. This was his last time and he wanted to enjoy it.

Quietly he walked over to his husband and laid one hand on his shoulder while the other was placed on his expanding belly. Nahyuta looked down to the slight curve in his husband’s middle and felt determination arise in his heart. He wanted this as well.

With a quick move threw in the pill and was shaken by a flash of pain and embrace of warm and unreserved wave of love. Tears shot in his eyes and he leaned forward while cradling his stomach.

Simon’s hand stroked his back and he slowly got back in an uptight position and then watched in wonder how much his abdomen had already grown.

23%, 34%, 39%

12%, 22%, 26%

Nahyuta compared the numbers and was shocked to see that he was already as big as Simon despite having the lower percentage. But soon his thoughts were taken off again, as a new pain crawled through his limps and now, he actually started sobbing.

45%, 56%, 63%

38%, 51%, 67%

Simon moaned and stroked his stomach in delight. It felt so familiar yet new and he could not but be happy for the growing foetus in his belly. He glanced over to Nahyuta, saw the tears in his eyes and a sudden softness in his features.  He looked down to his own growing dome and suddenly he seemed to overcome the pain and embrace a warm and cosy feeling.

Simon smiled. Nahyuta had found his excitement for the child he was carrying. Carefully he crouched down next to Nahyuta in the chair and waited for Nahyuta to look at him. It took him a moment but when he saw Simon’s awaiting look, he just smiled, took his hand and laid it on his belly.

Simon grinned and petted him. Nahyuta cherished the sensation and cupped Simon’s cheek to kiss him. His prosecutor had no objections to offer and laughed against his lips as he felt his little one wiggle in his belly.

78%, 86%, 91%

80%, 94%, 96%

“Holy Mother!” Nahyuta yelped and panted at an especially hard wave of pain, before Simon gave him a last peck and both felt their little ones finally reaching 100%

96%, 98%, 99% - Ding!

97%, 98%, 99% - Ding!

Nahyuta huffed in relief and Simon got up, slowly pulling of his shirt, while happily staring at his big belly and then winking at his husband. Nahyuta let out a chuckle and carefully got up admiring his baby bump that visibly was bigger as his husbands. A big baby then.

Two nurses entered and helped them to completely change. As they had finished the took each other’s arm and were led to the delivery wing. They had expanded since the last time and they were brought into one of the new parts for the joined births.

The ward they got was rather similar to the ones Simon had been in in the past, just bigger and with two tubs. Their nurses gave them their bracelets and left at once. Immediately, their contractions set in and Nahyuta let out a loud cry at the first.

Simon bit his lips and sat down on the bed, suffering through the first wave off pain. For some minutes then he watched his husband walking around, before the next contraction came.

“I need to get into the tub”, Nahyuta told Simon and the man immediately got up to help him into the tube.

As they had eased Nahyuta into the water, Simon got himself a chair and sat down next to bathtub. He held out his hand for the king and Nahyuta gladly took it as he silently grunted through the pain.

Not much was spoken during the next hours. They only exchanged some short encouragements to one another and Simon once kissed Nahyuta between the contractions and told him how proud he was of him.

“I can’t believe you went through this three times already”, Nahyuta mumbled and stroked his belly heavily panting.

Simon grinned but didn’t answer as a new contraction hit. With his teeth gritted together he replied after that: “Believe me I did and I’d do it again immediately. I love them so much and they are everything to me.”

Nahyuta weakly smiled. He knew that he must look like a mess with his braid wet and partially undone, sweaty forehead and ugly grunting. And yet when he looked at Simon, just as much of a mess as he was, he felt loved and happy to be here. Happy to carry Simon’s baby.

“They’re everything to me too”, he whispered and kissed Simon’s hand.

Tears rolled down from Simon’s eyes and he got up. He felt that his child would soon enter the birth canal and went to the bed. He had been right. His child entered and he gruntingly spread out his legs and pushed. It barely moved and Simon panted in exhaustion and had to takes several breaks before he could continue.

He tried to remain as calm as possible to not unsettle Nahyuta, who repeatedly checked in with him and told him he was doing great. Simon appreciated it to no end, knowing fully well how scared his husband was himself and carried on some more. Still, he was glad that this would be his last one, as he felt that his body really could not take this much longer. Even he had to admit that time had gotten to him.

Meanwhile Nahyuta fought through the contractions through his own. The pain was harsh and he had wished that he hadn’t underestimated the contraction pain as suddenly a different sort of pain hit him and he realized that his labour had started. His baby had entered the birth canal.

He pushed and after the pain run through him, he whimpered and mumbled incoherently in khura’inese.

“I-It’s okay… Yuta… you’ll make it”, Simon cheered on him from the bed.

Nahyuta shook his head but cried: “I will! And you will too!”

Simon grunted in agreement and pushed down his child. Minutes passed and Simon finally felt how his child soon would reach the end. One push more and their head crowned. A last one and they were out. Tiredly he grabbed them, held them to his chest and panted. Carefully he sat up and looked at them. A girl. Brown skin and fair lilac hair. She opened her eyes and blinked at him. They were bright green.

He laughed and cried and held her close. With a little coo he forced himself to get up and carefully walked over to the tub. Slowly he sat down on the tub’s edge and watched his husband in utter peace.

He was struggling to push again but as he blinked up to Simon, seeing the little princess in his arms and the pride filled look in Simon’s eyes he pulled through and with a last cry he pushed his child out.

Carefully Simon helped him sit up after he had fetched his child and looked at them in wonder. Heavily breathing he observed them, the messy black hair, the rather fair skin and the deep brown eyes.

He sobbed and looked up to teary eyed Simon who chuckled at him.

“I had a boy. We have a son”, Nahyuta whined joyful and held him close to his chest as he soon started to drink.

Simon nodded and softly petted his baby boy’s head and then showed Nahyuta their daughter. The king cried at her beauty and didn’t see how Simon breast-fed her after that.

Soon the nurses came and helped the king and his consort collect themselves. Only after several hours they had finally got down from their after-birth high and finally gave their children their names.

Keiko for their girl. Shankar for their boy.

Their perfect final addition for their family.

Fin.

[foreverexo-l-carat]

Pure Seduction || Jungkook

[Epilogue]

♡♡♡♡

The boys were sitting in Jungkook's living room to relax after a delicious meal cooked by you. You and Jimin were in the kitchen making some ice cream sundaes for yourselves since everyone else was too full.

Yoongi cleared his throat and sat up straight. "So, Jungkook, I've been meaning to talk to you about something. I really like you, but," he began, causing Jungkook to be nervous. Yoongi had yet to threaten him like most people do when their sibling is getting married. "... are you sure you want to marry my sister? She's kind of weird."

Yoongi was staring at you with a slightly horrified expression. The rest of the boys followed in suit only to find you and Jimin wrestling over the can of whipped cream. "I had it first," you grunted.

He huffed. "Fine, have some," he said, spraying some in your face.

You gasped, whipped cream falling from your eyelash. "Oh, it's on."

You quickly tackled Jimin to the floor and the boys chuckled. "I'm positive, Hyung," Jungkook responded, smiling fondly.

"I think you've made a good choice, Kook," Taehyung said. "She's a good kid and so sweet."

Hoseok laughed. "Funny, too," he added.

"There's something I don't understand, though," Namjoon said, the boys looking to him. "Why did you invite Joy to your wedding?"

Taehyung nodded. "I was wondering about that, too," he commented.

"Because, if you think about it, in some twisted way, Y/N and I probably would have never met if it hadn't been for Joy," he said. "She's still an awful person but I'm thankful for what she did. Besides, she's only invited to the reception, not the actual ceremony."

"I give up!" Jimin exclaimed, pulling their attention back to the two of you. You were once again standing, both of you covered in whipped cream and chocolate syrup, which somehow got mixed into the fight. You had both the can of whipped cream and bottle of chocolate syrup pointed at him and his hands were held up to surrender.

"You're dead, Park Jimin," you said, eyes narrowed.

"Y/N, sweetheart," Jungkook spoke up. "Please don't kill your best friend. In fact, Hyung, just go wash up. I'll give you some clothes and leave them on the guest bed."

Jimin nodded, hurrying out of the kitchen, slipping a bit in the mess you both made. "We're gonna be in the screening room waiting for you three," Jin said, the five boys walking off to prepare for the movie night you were to be having.

Jungkook nodded, going over to you. He chuckled. "You're a mess."

You giggled. "Yeah, but I won," you reminded him.

He shook his head, leaning in to capture your lips. "Still as sweet as the first one," he said softly against your lips. "They should make a whipped cream and chocolate syrup lip balm. It's great."

"I guess I should clean this mess up."

"Don't worry. You go wash up and change, I'll clean up."

You shook your head. "No, it's my mess, I should clean it," you reminded him.

He smiled, capturing your lips again. "We're getting married, sweetheart," he reminded you. "I'm more than happy to clean up your messes."

He was the sweetest man on earth, honestly. You finally gave in, nodding your head. You went to your guys' room, quickly showering and changing your clothes. When you were done, you found Jungkook was already done cleaning your mess. You went to the screening room to join them boys, cuddling up next to Jungkook.

You loved how natural it was for you to drape your legs over his lap and have him hold onto you whilst talking to the boys, as if it was second nature to him. You couldn't wait to marry him.

♡♡♡♡

"Food, glorious food!" You sang as Jungkook carried you bridal style into your guys' bungalow in Bora Bora for your honeymoon. He gently set you down on the bed, pecking your lips before grabbing the menu for room service. "They need to have bigger meals on flights."

He chuckled before you guys decided what you wanted and he placed the order. "So, my beautiful wife, what would you like to do first tomorrow?" He asked, cuddling up to you.

You turned to him with a smile, pecking his cheek as he rested his head in your lap. You giggled softly, running your hands through his hair. "Well, my handsome husband, I really want to swim. The water is so beautiful here."

He chortled. "Anything you want, sweetheart. I'll give you the world."

You stared down at him. His eyes were closed and he still looked so beautiful. You couldn't believe that this man, your sweet husband, was yours. You couldn't believe there was once a time where you despised him for breaking Joy's heart, that you were just trying to break his heart so he knew how other girls felt. You had both gone through so much and you still couldn't believe he was your husband.

"Why are you staring at me?" He asked, opening his eyes.

You giggled. "I was just thinking about our past and how amazing it is that we're married now."

"You're right. It's crazy how Joy's sick and twisted plan was actually the best thing to ever happen to me."

"I love you," you smiled.

He smiled back. "I love you more, sweetheart," he said.

The food came and you and Jungkook ate while watching some movie that you both barely paid attention to, too busy planning your time in Bora Bora. When you finished eating, you went into the bathroom to change.

Jungkook let out a sigh, "That was delicious."

"I hope you saved room for dessert," you commented, exiting the bathroom in your favorite lingerie piece, which also happened to be his favorite piece.

He smirked and sat up. "Always."

You giggled, prancing over and connecting your lips with his own. "I love you," you said once more between kisses.

"I love you forever," he said, pulling you closer to his body.

♡♡♡♡

A/N: I can't believe it's finally done! I don't know how I feel about the epilogue but that's okay! I hope you all enjoyed this series, the first one I've completed, and I just want to thank everyone who supported it! I wrote so many other pieces during this one and can't wait to post them! I also have a Hyunjin series to post, so look forward to that! Thank you ♡

Description: You've been asked to break the heartbreaker's heart.

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9 // Chapter 10 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12 // Chapter 13 // Chapter 14 // Epilogue

[imagine-a-fangirl]

A/N: Already part 6 of my story, I’m glad there are still so many people reading it. I really appreciate your reactions! If you want to be add or removed from the taglist let me know! Also last time something went wrong with the tags so if you haven’t read about the wedding, read part 5 before you read this one! Read the previous parts here: part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 You woke up early the next morning, you woke up with two strong arms wrapped around your body and a steady breathing next to your head. You and Kylo had apparently snuggled up together during the night and you hadn’t even noticed. Carefully you moved away from his arms trying not to wake him up. The clock told you it was 7, it would probably be a waste of time trying to get back to sleep and decided to take a shower. Kylo woke up in an empty bed, it took him a moment before he remember he just got married and his wife was supposed to be next to him. His mind was already going nuts when he heard water running from the bathroom and a soft voice singing. After listening to your voice for a while he decided to get ready as well, using the other bathroom. Kylo was already sitting on the bed reading a book, showered and dressed when you got out of the bathroom. “Goodmorning princess.” He greeted you “Morning. I’m sorry if I woke you up.” “You didn’t. Did sleep okay?” “Better than I have all week. How about you?” You sat down behind the dressing table, removing the towel from your hair. “Me too.” Instead of going back to reading his book, Kylo observed the way you did your hair and applied your make-up. “Something wrong?” You had noticed the glances through the mirror “No..no..I.. You know what, never mind.” Instead of quizzing him you decided just to let it go and let him get back to his book. 

The morning went by fast, after breakfast you had a final meeting with the parliament. They expected you to stand up for your planet during your time with the first order and to stand up as a peace keeper. It was going to be your job, until you would be back to become queen. After the meeting it was time to go, there was a small ceremony. People had come to say their goodbyes and you held a small speech. Emily had said her goodbyes to the people she cared for and was ready to go as well. “We really have to go princess.” Kylo reminded you. “Yes, of course.” You turned to your father making a small bow “Try not to screw it up, like you normally do.” He told you You huffed, with the hundreds of eyes looking at the two of you he would never hit you which gave you only more courage. “I was going to tell you the same. Why don’t try to take care of our people for once instead of being the selfish bastard you normally are.” This time you didn’t have to fake a smile, the urge to punch you in his eyes and the fact that he couldn’t was reason enough to smile. “Goodbye father.” You grabbed Kylo’s hand and turned your back at him. “Impressive princess.” He complimented you “I always wanted to do that.” You grinned. You waved a final time to the people before you entered the ship where Hux was already waiting for the two of you. “The hand holding was a nice touch.” Hux complimented you “It has to be somewhat believable if I want my people to stay alive.” You responded. Hux his eyes went to your hand, you were still holding Kylo’s which you quickly let go. “Keep telling yourself that princess.” Hux ordered to take off. Your first time on a space ship a very small one and you were already impressed. For the first time in ever you had a normal conversation with Emily, you got to know the girl behind the servant and to your surprise you had a lot in common. The hours passed by and before you knew it you arrived to the ship that was going to be your new home for an indefinite time. “That is massive.” You exclaimed “Welcome to your new home princess.” Kylo told you “If you follow me I will show you your chambers.” You and Emily followed Kylo through the ship, it was even bigger on the inside and you expected yourself to get lost a bunch of times already. “These are your chambers, Emily yours are on the end of the hallway.” Kylo pushed the door open, the room had gigantic windows that gave you the opportunity to see everything around you.  “I hope it’s to your liking.  I asked for your dinner to be served here, so you and Emily can adjust a little bit. “ “That’s really kind of you Kylo.” Even though you only knew him for a week now, you started to see him as a friend. Both of you still needed to adjust to the situation but you were going to get there. “Have a goodnight.” “Thank you Kylo. You too.” You had expected your night to be a little rough, a new room and bed, floating through the galaxy. What you didn’t expect was to wake up sick half way through the night. You had curled yourself up in a foetal position, your stomach felt like someone was stabbing you. You had wrapped yourself up in your blanket because you were cold, but your forehead was heating up. This was nothing like you had ever felt , you were never sick. It was already eleven and you knew you had to come out of your bed at some point, that decision was quickly made for you when you heard a knock on your door. “Princess Y/N, Commander Ren is requesting your presence on the bridge.” You tried to speak but you were afraid that you would start to vomiting if you did. “Princess Y/N” Emily asked once again “I’m coming in. Y/n, are you feeling okay?” She touched your forehead “I’m going to get a doctor.” “No!” It didn’t sound very convincing but it did stop her. “You’re going to help me get ready. I’ll walk it off.” With every move you made your body protested. Emily did what you asked her, she helped you in your dress and did your hair, while you did your make up. It was more that you usually wore, but it did cover enough to look if you just had a bad night of sleeping. “Are you sure about this Princess?” Emily asked again. “I am, come on let’s go.” You needed some help getting up, but you managed to walk on your own. “You requested my presence?” You asked while you walked toward Hux and Kylo. “We did.” Hux answered for Kylo “We have some problems with the people of Jakku, we thought you might be able to help.” “Ofcourse I’ll give it a try.” You agreed The fever was slowly taking over your body, while Kylo and general Hux we’re discussing something when you felt yourself fading out. Your body fell down like a puppet.“ Y/N!” Kylo didn’t know how quickly he had to get to you. His cool hand touched your forehead, he felt the heat glowing from your face. “She is burning up.” “She is sick sir but she insisted on getting here.” Emily explained “Get the medic to her room” Kylo picked you from the ground, you slowly came back to conscious. “Kylo?” “It’s going to be okay y/n I’ll get you to a doctor.”

Taglist: @arkhamsurviour @fralackles @strngervibes @frodo-jojo @tudgey97 @baby-baker @chloehamilton @waywardsoulpainter @mariariley96 @princenyaz @lisssays @capitanostella @markusstraya @givemelifeorgiveme @kylo-ren-is-my-supreme-leader @rbilliusweasley @theoreosarmy @sweetcredence @kany-eet @fvckjamesbarnes @what-the-heck-life @tangle-of-ivy @dangerous-fork @hashtagnarnian @ficbucket @evelyn120700 @quotidiennement-cons7 @hopplessdreamer @zzeacat @andeerwilson @rainbow-pandacorn @excticxstyles @el-eldritch @Ilost-paradise @herainferni @kittygoesrawrrzz @spicy-therapist-mom @lexie10123 @itamenher @sdavid09 @bowties-and-wallflowers

[poppo911]

D-Day Jitters (Chapter 2)

Chapter 2: To the bride

Word count: 3k-ish

Also on FFN

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3

"How's Major—uh, Riza—doing, anyway?"

"I… don't know. I hope she's doing better than me. She always did."

"…you don't know?"

Nobody is in their correct mind on their wedding day—she reminded herself over and over, like a mantra chanted inside those sacred temples of her mind.

Rebecca Catalina had always had the honour to be one of the very few people who had seen the notoriously stoic Riza Hawkeye in her ups and downs. She had been there (much to her amusement) during Riza's extremely rare hangovers. She had always been the one stroking her blonde hair, patting her on the back while she wept silently into her shoulder. Heck, Rebecca even managed to handle her best friend after she came back from the nightmare called Ishval (though she rather kept that particular memory at bay.)

But not this. Never this. And it was driving the brunette crazy.

Which was exactly why she was there, one hand on her hip while fiddling a mascara with the other.

"Rebecca," she said sternly.

Inhale. Exhale. Keep your composure. "No. And you can keep glaring at me like that for the next one hour because, you know what, my answer would always be the same; hell no. Yeah, go fight me."

Riza wanted to pull her hair in frustration, but doing so will utterly destroy her hairdo those stylists had worked on for hours. Covering her face with her hands, and the make up Rebecca nearly finished would be at stake. Thus she opted to curl her fingers into clenches in an agonizingly slow motion.

"You can not strip a sniper of their firearms!"

"Sorry, Major—scratch-that—Miss Hawkeye, but you are stripped of your right to handle any kind of firearms when you resigned from the military five weeks ago."

"But I still retain my gun certification!"

"Then I'm revoking it!" Rebecca retorted, the words I'm-so-done-with-this plastered on her expression, "Well, at least for now. And don't give me your lame but-I-have-to-watch-his-back-from-dangers angsty bullshit. You reviewed the goddamn security algorithm yourself. Just so you know, the budget allocation for today's security system is at least twice bigger than the total amount of money we spent for your grandpop's entire inauguration ceremony. So, no. Gun certification or not, you're not bringing anything beneath your gown."

Her face fell, shoulders slumped in defeat. Rebecca was afraid she was going to cry uncharacteristically, but honestly, better now than after she applied the mascara. Smeared make-up, she can touch it up in a few minutes. But smeared mascara? Catalina was willing to delay the entire procession instead should that happened.

Sighing, she made her way to sit beside the former officer. As silly as it was, if there was anything Riza would seek comfort in everytime her anxiety decided to make an appearance, it would be her guns and whatever came with them. Rebecca couldn't blame her for that—she had seen how her best friend clinged into her sniper rifle as if her entire life depended on it (in a more serious notion, it really did.) She had even considered to let her carry just one to the altar, for everything seemed to much for her friend (and for her, too, frankly speaking) to handle. Dammit, I almost had let her, she internally confessed.

But Rebecca Catalina was experienced in breaking many rules—more than enough for her to know not to break this one.

"C'mon, Ri," Rebecca softly called out to her, poking her arm in a playful manner. "You're just nervous. You can do this, okay?"

"It's just… wrong. I feel as naked as a newborn," she mumbled.

"Oh, you absolutely will, Dear. Tonight after everything's wrapped up. And that flame boy of yours would be more than pleased."

"Rebecca!"

"Yeah, sorry, sorry," chuckling, she snaked an arm around her waist, "I mean, the sexual tension between you two is sometimes too palpable I can't help but to bring it up now that it's not really illegal anymore! Say, are you sure you guys had never fucked before?"

Riza looked at her in dismay.

"Even if I did—which I did not, anyway, not while I was working under his command—" not while I was working under his command, the ambiguous context that came with it didn't go unnoticed, "—I wouldn't narrate them the way you did yours, Beck."

"Hey, what's wrong with that?"

"You don't know," Hawkeye made an audible sigh, "you don't know how hard it was for me to look at Jean in the eyes everytime I talk to him during work hours when you guys first started dating. He thought I was mad at him or something."

"How could—oh… No. No way, you naughty, naughty Rizzie,"

"As if it was my fault. Your description was way too graphic, for your information."

Rebecca bursted into laughter.

"Yeah, yeah. But I succeeded, didn't I?"

"At what?"

"Making a nervous bride forgetting her wedding day nerves, perhaps?"

Her lips curled into a small smile as Rebecca hummed in approval beside her.

But Riza quickly shook her head as the somber mood started crawling back in, "I don't know if this was really for me, Beck. Even if it was… I don't even know if I can pull it off,"

"You? Can not pull it off? Ex-fucking-cuse me, but have you seen this?" Rebecca stood up and moved to stand behind her friend's sitting figure, turning her to face the full length mirror on one side of the wall. "See? If this was not for you, you wouldn't had spent the past months wearing yourself out preparing for this moment…"

She was quite a sight, really. And Rebecca didn't say that merely because she was a supportive best friend who would say anything to relieve her anxiety. A bun wrap decorated with pearl beadings held her silky blonde hair in a messy updo. The brocade hugged her curves perfectly, with intricate floral embroideries around her waist. Downwards were fabrics layered into a ball gown. Big brown eyes, and plump, red-tinted lips—that Mustang guy sure was a lucky bastard, she pondered.

Though she did take pride on her make up work (Rebecca had been the one dolling Riza up in nearly all occasions requiring such attires—like hell she was going to let someone else doing it for her big day,) she admitted, it was the bride herself contributed the biggest to make her looked radiant.

The brunette looked at her perplexed eyes reflected in the mirror, all the way down to her neckline, her ball gown, heels, trains, then back to her face—"Riza Mustang, the First Lady of Amestris, and, despite the strict upbringing I know you will apply, still a no less good mother to her children, and—oh,"

Rebecca decided, then, that she didn't want smeared make up as much as she didn't want smeared mascara.

Careful not to destroy anything—except her make up, sadly, for it was already in a dire need for a touch up—she pulled her friend in a tight embrace. Suddenly it was just like the old times—her face on her shoulder, hand patting her back in silence. I'm sorry. Please. You're okay. I'm sorry.

If she was being honest, Rebecca preferred to deal with Riza throwing tantrums or giving her icy glares that could freeze furnace. She hated being in this position when her seemingly-impassive friend clearly showed her distress, yet told her nothing.

She knew what made her upset, but at the same time, she did not. She understood how she might felt, but she also couldn't relate.

Just like this one.

Riza's place had always been in that one spot casted aside where nobody could notice her. Whether it was on a watch tower with her scope, or two steps behind Mustang's back, she worked best from where she couldn't be seen. Then all of a sudden, she was shoved into the center of attention. She was expected to be there with him in the spotlight, instead of lurking in the shadows he casted.

Too sudden. And certainly too many eyes are watching.

A sane Riza Hawkeye would had handled it just fine, a goddamn rational she was. Maybe with several adjustments at best, Rebecca corrected herself. Yet she knew, the Riza Hawkeye who had spent the past few months preparing for something this big mostly by herself (damn the Fuhrer and his presidential duties) is far from a sane Riza Hawkeye.

Yeah, let alone the one being covered nation-wide with thousands of guests—arranging a wedding itself was already a hassle, if her friends' testimonies were to be trusted. In hindsight, they were.

Rebecca had been occupied by her own job in the office that she only managed to keep tabs on her and offered her suggestions via phonecall frequently—and even that was enough for her to recognize the extent of Riza's distress. Catalina was glad her commanding officer compelled to her… request, when she asked for a two-weeks leave. God knew she was willing to break yet another rule should that snobbish superior officer of hers did otherwise because Lord, I'm not gonna leave this poor girl alone any longer.

She understood.

But she didn't. Both at the same time.

So she just sat there, trying her best to offer her friend some comfort. Riza had rarely been the one to talk her problems through—not with her, at least, she begrudgingly admitted—and Rebecca knew, under this condition, the only thing that could soothe her was a good night sleep in amiable silence. And by the following morning, she would be back to the reasonable, no-nonsense Riza Hawkeye.

The problem? They had to be ready in less than an hour. So a good night sleep was off the options.

Rebecca was cursing her helplessness in silence when the door clicked open.

A rather bulky woman with long, curly black hair appeared from the threshold, making her way to where they were sitting at in a deliberate gait. She was wearing burgundy dress inside a furry coat, she noticed, flashy necklace decorated her neck down to her chest. Rebecca was about to deem her outfit too eccentric—even by her standard—for a formal ceremony (which already spoke volumes, really) if she hadn't been busy being intimidated by said woman's presence. This middle-aged lady was not from the military, that was for sure—but why does she look strangely familiar?

"Am I interrupting something here?"

Riza's shoulders tensed up for a second as she recognized the voice. "No, Madame Christmas," she answered, her hands frantically searching and grabbing for anything she can wipe her tears off with. (Rebecca noticed she considered using her own wedding gown for that. It was a fortune she didn't.)

Hold a sec… that Madame Christmas?!

The woman's voice was raspy when she called out, "Rebecca Catalina, is it? The bridesmaid?"

She nodded.

"Let me handle her," she continued, "you go get that—" pointing at her bare, make-up-stained shoulder, "—thing fixed."

"I—right away, ma'am," taking a good look at the bride's recently messy face, she corrected, "uh, actually, I'm sorry but… it seems that I have to redo this one first,"

If she was any less dignified, the Madame would have snorted.

"And by 'her', I was also referring to that. It's alright. Those girls had to learn to do their nightly make up from someone, after all."

Rebecca paused for a moment, considering what to do next before she stood up from her seat in a swift motion. She gripped Riza's shoulders to give her a semblance of reassurance. Their eyes locked—it was as though hers were saying I will see you later and good luck with this combined.

She left the room after hovering around the door threshold for a little longer than what was necessary.

Madame Christmas collected everything she required to do her face at the other side of the room in silence. It wasn't long before she was already seated in front of her, a whole box of cosmetics in her hands.

If she dared to describe it, Riza thought, she would say it was really… awkward.

Yes, they had met each others from time to time for years already. Be it arranging a coup d'etat or a wedding, the Madame had been a great help. But Roy had always been there—frankly speaking, it was more like Roy and his mother, and then she was there in the background, giving her occasional remarks. This woman had already had her respect for quite a long time. Riza knew her very well.

But apparently, still not well enough for her to become comfortable facing the Madame one-on-one.

"Spill,"

The word came rather unexpectedly—well, not that anything was within expectation, as far as the Madame was concerned. Riza only managed to give her a confused blink in response.

"I didn't work as an information broker for nothing. Now is the chance for you to tell me what troubles you and let it all out, before I decided to point them out one by one."

Madame Christmas continued to do the younger woman's face as she waited for her to speak her mind out.

Wipe this part off. Several strokes of brush here.

Seconds turned into minutes, yet her face remained impassive—funny, really, with those trails of tears on her cheeks—a perfect mask to cover whatever turmoil existed beneath. Christmas quietly sighed; Roy wasn't exaggerating anything when he told her that his (former) adjutant was very, very private, keeping her thoughts and feelings close to her chest.

Chris Mustang finally decided to give in before minutes turned into hours.

"My son is very fond of you, you know,"

She did.

"Whenever he came home for a short break during his alchemy apprenticeship, his stories mostly consisted of my master's daughter this and my master's daughter that… and he did that for years. I knew you like your tea with two spoonful of sugar and no milk years before we actually met."

The words tugged the corners of her lips upwards.

"Even in his academy days, he still liked to recount the letters his master's daughter sent him in his writings. Not once, not twice… quite frequent, in fact. But his master's daughter suddenly vanished into thin air when he was shipped off to war." She paused for a while, scrutinizing her face to the tiniest details, "…I will drop this subject here. Neither of us would like to talk about that now.

"My point is, whether it was his master's daughter, or Elizabeth, or Captain Hawkeye—you two have been together for a long time. As bothersome as it is, this whole marriage ordeal shouldn't bring any difference."

In her mind, Riza was mulling those words over. But for not too long—eventually she found herself lost in her own train of thoughts. Why is she here now? Did Roy send her? Or was it Mrs. Gracia? She wasn't sure of what to say next—

As if she was stung by a wasp, Christmas suddenly drew herself away from her, her eyes narrowed. Much to Hawkeye's bewilderment.

"My Roy-boy can stand there dumbfounded, thinking that his bride had left him at the altar because I am not letting you go if my whole speech just now actually turned into a monologue. I don't really talk much—show me some courtesy for my efforts."

It took every attempts she had to keep her brown eyes fixed on the Madame's.

"I'm sorry, Madame. I didn't want to make your job any harder by talking and moving my face," she finally reasoned.

"Still not a good enough excuse. Try again."

"I—"

Madame Christmas' gaze was unfazed.

Riza swallowed a lump she didn't know had been forming behind her throat. Her eyes frantically searched for anything, anything except the Madame's eyes, to look at, like a chameleon with a den of snakes preying on it nearby. It was when her survival instinct kicked in (was it due to a fight-or-flight response?)—

Don't move. Stare at a fixated point. Breathe deeply three times. Something the military taught to the new recruits to keep their fear under control.

Accordingly, she did as such, and thank God and whatever good up there, it worked.

"I… I'm sorry. This isn't me. People told me it's just the cold-feet but…" she cleared her throat before her sentence turned into nonsensical ramblings, "it's not the wedding per se… but the changes that follow. I don't think I'm ready for it. I can't help but to keep second-guessing myself."

The woman looked at her in an unreadable way. She continued to do her job as she quietly spoke, "Like I said, Riza. Despite everything, nothing much will change. And you knew what you're into when you both made this decision,"

"I know, Madame," the sensible Riza will kick herself later for interrupting the Madame, "we know the consequences. It's just… unnerving, to put it that way. The change. I've been a soldier for years. I've been hiding behind his back, watching it, for as far as I can remember.

"But today onwards, there will be only ceremonial duties shoved onto my plate. Organizing and attending official ceremonies, charitable works, campaigns—he's already used to doing public services, and suddenly people expect me to be there with him. Or to be there on my own. It's overwhelming."

There. She said it.

(Just then, Riza understood how Madame Christmas managed to maintain her business for tens of years.)

She nodded in understanding.

"I see," came her reply, "Amestris is a rather conservative country. It was a wonder your grandfather managed to get through without having one," Chrismas paused and smudged the corner of the eyeshadows using her finger, "looking at Mrs. Bradley, and the one before her several years prior, it can't be helped that the people perceipt their First Lad—"

"Don't say those words," Riza cut in. "…please," she added, as an afterthought.

The elder woman quirked her brow. So that was why, she assumed, but compelled to her wish nonetheless.

"Change is indeed frightening," she voiced after a while, "but we never know what lies ahead. Change is not always bad. The biggest thing that altered my life abruptly happened more than thirty years ago after learning about my brother's, and his wife's, unfortunate demise."

Riza thought she knew where their conversation pointed to. But she also thought it would be wiser not to say anything.

"I took the toddler they left behind under my care. In retrospect, it was nowhere near any propriety—I had been running a small hostess bar by that time. Not an exactly fitting environment to raise a kid, obviously. But we adjusted. It wasn't easy, I remind you, but I accepted the way it changed my life. You know him, and you know how he was—is a pain in the arse to deal with.

"But it was altogether the best decision I ever made—Amestris wouldn't have their incumbent Fuhrer if I did not,"

Using her fingers, Madame Christmas lifted Riza's chin and turned it slightly to the left-and-right, admiring her work for a moment before she went on.

"You look like you still got something to say. Spill it out. We don't have much time left."

Hawkeye prided herself on her ability to hide most of her thoughts, but she swore, this woman in front of her secretly possessed a psychic ability.

"I—" she paused as the Madame smeared more lipstick, "Just something every brides thinks of when they are doubting themselves. I… I don't know if I really can make him happy—"

Christmas pressed the powder puff on her cheek with a little more force than what was necessary.

"Happiness is something you have to work on. Both of you have to actively make the efforts. Don't make my boy's job harder with that negative attitude of yours."

Putting everything back to the box, she dusted her hands clean in a satisfied manner. "There. It's all done."

Riza turned to face the mirror and she admitted, the Madame wasn't lying when she said something about teaching those girls to do their make up.

She was about to open her mouth, thanking the madame, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning back, Madame Christmas was looking straight at her—yet, strangely, it didn't feel as intimidating as she thought it was.

"I've never been good with emotions, but do you feel better?"

More than better, she wanted to voice. As someone who preferred to internalize her problems and feelings a lot, she didn't know how talking them through could actually make her relieved. She felt like a heavy load she wasn't aware was there had been lifted from her shoulders, a figurative stone chained onto her leg, weighing her down, suddenly became nonexistent.

A glowing smile graced her lips as she finally said, "I do, Madame. Thank you very much. I owe you this—along with everything I can't mention one by one."

"Take good care of my son and we're even," she replied in a-matter-of-factly while standing up from her seat, "I think it's time. Your grandfather had been waiting for quite a while."

The retired general came out from behind the then-closed door, walking in with a smile plastered on his old face.

"Not too long ago, Chris. Captain Catalina wouldn't let me in until she was sure you're done already," how insubordinate of her, he murmured.

Christmas shrugged, "just make sure you do this right," she said. A brief seconds passed before the woman decided to make her way out, "I will be on one of the benches,"

Grumman merely shook his head. Same old, same old. "Now this is weird… handing off my granddaughter to a man who's been with her way longer than I even know her." She threw him an apologetic smile.

"Let's go, shall we?" He called out, offering his hand to his only remaining bloodline.

"Yes, Sir." Riza accepted his hand in a proper stance. Just like the rules instructed.

She couldn't see it as they were walking out of the room, down to the hallway, but from his voice—disheartened, with a tinge of disappointment he tried to conceal—Riza knew the elderly man holding her hand was already making a face.

"I told you to call me just Grandpa, Riza. I'm even retired now—no excuse left for you to keep calling me that."

Change is not always bad.

Riza let out a small smile and shook her head,

"One step at a time… Grandfather."

Do you guys know how hard it was to write Madame Christmas? Well, I didn't, until I re-read and re-write this chapter a million of times, yet I still feel I can't do her character justice. Sorry. I'm sorry sobs. Please do tell me where I went wrong DX

"I hope she's doing better than me. She always did." Newsflash Roy-boy, she was not, and that's the irony of this chap lol. I hope Riza wasn't too OOC here, but if she was, uh, may I use that 'nobody is in their correct mind on their wedding day' excuse?

Yes, I still tagged this fic as incomplete, just you wait… *winks* and if I ever posted any third chapter at all, maybe that one will be the last.

Thank you for reading! :D

[earlsleg]

Continuation

 “You give terrible dating advice,” Simon said. He had just barged into Magnus’s apartment and found Jace lying down in the spare bedroom. He couldn’t believe he embarrassed himself in front of Maia like that. And it was all because of Jace. How stupid could he have been?

Simon goes to yell at Jace about his terrible dating advice and gets more than he ever imagined he would.

“You give terrible dating advice,” Simon said. He had just barged into Magnus’s apartment and found Jace lying down in the spare bedroom. He couldn’t believe he embarrassed himself in front of Maia like that. And it was all because of Jace. How stupid could he have been?

“What?” Jace asked, rubbing his eyes. It was clear he was recently sleeping, or napping, and his voice was groggy.

“Did you purposefully try to sabotage my date with Maia? I should have never listened to you.” Jace was now more alert and sat up on the bed.

“No, of course not. I was trying to help you.” “Help me? She hardly wanted anything to do with me!”

“I don’t know, maybe you were doing it wrong. You know what? I should really go and get a glass of water-”

“No,” Simon barred Jace from exiting. “You basically told me to change everything about myself. That I couldn’t be myself and get girls.”

“Well…” Jace shrugged.

“Well what?

“I was showing you what works for me…”

“And?”

“It was stupid of me to do that okay?” Simon wasn’t expecting that. His plan was to yell at Jace and then leave but this was a more than pleasant surprise.

“You don’t have to change yourself to get a girl, I just...I wanted to feel like I could do something, anything again,” Jace admitted.

“Again?”

“I was essentially kicked out of The Institute.”

“Oh,” Simon said quietly. He did not know how else to respond. What The Institute meant for Jace and what it meant for Simon were two completely different things.

“That’s why I’m at Magnus’s. Wait how did you know I was here?”

“I’m banned from The Institute too, remember? I figured the second place you’d be would be here.”

“That’s right. No Downworlders allowed,” Jace sat back down on the bed. Guess he had forgotten all about his glass of water. “I uh...I’m sorry you couldn't come to Jocelyn’s funeral.” Simon felt a lump in his throat. The wound of losing her was still fresh and he couldn’t help but think of Luke, who at the time was dealing with his grief alone in the woods.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have brought that up-”

“No, no, it’s fine. Tell me about it. I’ve never gone to a Shadowhunter funeral.”

“It’s...it’s a beautiful ceremony. Everyone wears white. You say the name of the person who has fallen and light moves from the bodies to the sky. There are ritual words spoken and…Sorry I’m not really that good at explaining it.”

“No, you did great. I’m sure it was beautiful.” Simon felt far away, as if he actually was there with Clary. He thought about all of the times Jocelyn was like a second mother to him. He still couldn’t believe she was actually gone. Jace’s hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present.

“You know if you need someone to talk to about it...” Jace looked visibly uncomfortable.

“You don’t have to offer because you feel bad, it’s okay,” Simon forced himself to meet Jace’s eyes and smile.

“No, I mean it. I’m just...not good in these kind of situations.” Jace sighed and tried to explain. “When you’re a Shadowhunter, you’re taught that emotions-” “Are nothing more than distractions, I know that one.” “And what I’ve learned is that...they exist and yeah maybe they can be a distraction but they can also be a strength.”

“Seems like Clary has rubbed off on you,” Simon was oddly proud of Jace in a way he couldn’t quite comprehend. “So is this leading up to a big speech or something? You aren’t usually this…-”

“Thoughtful? Having your life turned around does that to you. When I was first sent to The City of Bones, all I could do was think. They...get into your thoughts and that was all I could do. And this isn’t leading up to a big speech, I just...I wasn’t trying to set you up to fail or anything earlier. I was frustrated and I want to be good at something. I really did mean it when I said you could talk to be about...whatever. I’ve been a dick to you in the past but...we’re gonna have to stick together, right?” Jace looked completely hopefully and wow…

“Right. So how is it I get a girl again?” This made Jace genuinely laugh and Simon couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

“That’s a topic we’re never gonna talk about again.”

“And if I were to ask how to get a guy?” Did he really actually say that? It just slipped out of his mouth. Why was he like this?

“What?” Jace was giving him a look, like he was looking at Simon with fresh new eyes.

“What.” Play dumb, Simon.

“You just said-”

“I said nothing.” This is going well. Jace finally decided to drop it. The silence stretched out between them. “I should probably get going. It’s late and I need to be back before the sun starts to come out again.”

“You could stay here. If that’s easier for you.” Did Jace just?

“This is technically Magnus’s house and-”

“Weren’t you basically living here like what- two weeks ago? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” Why was he being so insistent? “It’s totally up to you, I just thought it might be easier if you didn’t have to race against the clock.” Simon looked at his phone and damn it was really late.

“I didn’t realize how late it was.”

“You didn’t exactly come here early.”

“Sorry.” The last thing Simon was thinking about when he came to yell at Jace was the time. And maybe he could stay. Jace seemed happy at the prospect and why not make him feel better after the mess that happened. “I’ll stay if that’s alright.” Simon was entering new territory and he felt it.

“Cool,” Jace said, smiling. His eyes slid down to Simon’s outfit.

“Oh, I uh. I’m still wearing my dress clothes.” He knows that, Simon…

“Wear this,” Jace reached into a bedside drawer and threw a black t-shirt and trackpants combo at him.

“Do you only own black clothes?” Simon wondered.

“Yup. Go change.” Simon went to the door to find a bathroom to change in when he heard Jace. “Where are you going?”

“To change?” Simon looked at Jace like he had three heads. Hadn’t Jace literally told him five seconds ago to go change?

“I don’t mind,” Jace said, gesturing towards him. “I won’t look.” He took out a magazine and began to leaf through it’s pages. Where did that come from? Simon felt a little self conscious but he wasn’t about to leave now. He undressed and redressed as quickly as possible. The clothes were tight in some places and loose in others, but he still was pretty comfortable.

“So is this like...a sleepover?” Sleepover? Really? Was he five again? Jace looked up from his magazine.

“A sleepover?”

“You know, the thing were you invite your friend or friends over and you do stupid stuff and stay up the whole night?”

“Simon, I know what a sleepover is. I’ve never had one, but I’m aware of the concept.”

“Oh. Well they’re kinda overrated anyway.”

“This is whatever you want it to be.”

“But you were the one who invited me so I thought it would be appropriate to ask you.”

“It’s up to you, buddy.” Did Jace just call him buddy? It had never ever been up to him. Clary had always orchestrated all of their plans. He didn’t mind it, and he was used to it. It was foreign for him to make plans. Is that what this was? Making plans? With Jace? Who, just a few hours ago, had given him terrible dating advice?

“It’s never been up to me before. I...I don’t know. What do you want?”

“Simon,” Jace laughed. “You can speak your mind. I’m fine with anything. Honestly.”

“Honestly?” The wheels in Simon’s head were turning. It had to be something Clary would never agree to.

“Honestly. I promise.” Simon thought long and hard and there was that one thing.

“I’ve always wanted to marathon all of the Harry Potter movies.” He was proving himself to be a bigger nerd, wasn’t he?

“Harry Potter?”

“The guy with the glasses and the scar? The wizarding world-”

“I’m just pulling your leg. I know who Harry Potter is.”

“So...you’re okay with it?”

“Sure! Yeah. Do you have the DVDs?”

“Contrary to popular belief, I do not carry movies around with me all of the time. But there are websites.” Jace pulled out his laptop.

“If you accidentally download a virus, I swear.”

“Don’t worry. I’m experienced.” Where the hell did that come from, Simon? He awkwardly took the laptop from Jace and tried to balance it on his lap in a weird crouched position.

“Simon,” Jace patted a spot next to him on the bed. Simon didn’t think and plopped himself and the laptop on the bed.

“What’s the password?” Jace took the computer from him and shielded it in such a way that Simon wouldn’t see the password.

“Wouldn’t want you breaking into my computer or anything like that.”

“Why would I ever?”

“I don’t know Simon but you told me you were very experienced in websites,” Jace said the last part with air-quotes.

“That’s not what I meant. At all. Give me back the laptop.”

“Getting greedy now, aren’t you?”

“Jace,” Simon held out his hands. It didn’t take too long to find the first Harry Potter film. He found out pretty quickly Jace had a different movie watching style from his. Jace liked to comment on everything, from the hat one woman wore in the first five minutes, “That seems a little impractical, doesn’t it?” to the spell Harry was using in the middle, “Now is this the most effective spell to use? I’d love to see Harry as a Shadowhunter, see how well he’d do.”

“Jace!” Simon exclaimed. Simon was the type to remain completely silent during movies. He liked to completely direct his attention onto the action and escape. “Can we just watch the movie and not comment on it?”

“Okay, I just figured-”

“Well you figured wrong. Now let’s see what happens with Dumbledore.” It wasn’t a surprise as to what happened, but Simon liked to pretend he forgot. It was more fun that way. They were on the third movie when Jace started to drift off.

“Jace,” Simon whispered.

“What? Oh,” Jace fixed his sleepy eyes on the laptop screen again.

“Harry is about to find out about Sirius!” Simon knew this was going to happen, it was one of the reasons that Clary never agreed to do this marathon with him. There were eight movies to get through. Nothing made Simon sadder than finishing a movie by himself. He remembered nudging Clary awake to the very end of almost every movie marathon they had. Then again, those marathons usually only consisted of three movies at most. Not really a marathon, but Clary knew how Simon felt about finishing movies by himself.

It was during the fourth movie that Jace began fading fast, meaning that he couldn’t keep his eyes open for more than 30 seconds at a time. At this point it was nearly morning and Simon couldn’t blame him for falling asleep. He felt weight on his shoulder and saw Jace’s head resting there. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. Simon almost felt a need to brush a stray hair off of his face but he stopped himself. As unique as the situation was, Simon liked that Jace was resting on him. Whereas before it was unpleasant when someone fell asleep during a movie marathon, Simon felt comforted. He felt like “the chosen one.” Simon started drifting soon after and for once he didn’t stop himself.

“What the hell?” Simon and Jace awoke with a start to the sound of Alec’s voice. Magnus appeared by Alec’s side in an instant.

“Simon. Wasn’t expecting you here,” Magnus said, clearly surprised.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t ask you if I could..well...yeah...I,” Simon closed the still open laptop and handed it to Jace. “I should really..” Simon grabbed his fancy clothing he wore the night before and headed toward the nearest bathroom. The walls were thinner than he thought because he heard every word that was being said.

“Simon? The other day you had a random lady in bed and now Simon?” Alec asked. A random lady?

“That’s not what this was! Simon wasn’t here to…”

“You can’t even say it can you?”

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Magnus said. Jace let out an exaggerated sigh.

“What is this, huh? You really like playing around with people, don’t you?”

“What? That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Jace. It’s obvious that…”

“That what? What am I not getting, Alec?”

“Simon likes you Jace,” Alec said in a loud whisper. What?

“What?” Jace said.

“And you literally slept with him!”

“Yeah literally slept, but wait what do you mean? Simon doesn’t…” Is that really what everyone thinks? He doesn’t like Jace like that! Hell- he didn’t even know he liked Jace at all until last night.

“Clary told me” Clary? What does she have to do with all of this? “That...I don’t know, she had this theory.”

“Theory? And since when were you friends with Clary? Did you come in here just to make me feel like shit? First you tell me it’s obvious and then you tell me it’s a theory?”

“It was a very convincing theory. And Clary decided to come to me because well, you know. You were acting all sorts of different before and I figured you had a motive with Simon too. I wanted to see if you were being a dick or not.”

“No, I wasn’t being a dick, Alec. Simon did mention something about how to get guys or something but I don’t know it was weird.” So he hadn’t dreamt up that exchange. Great.

“Clary’s theory may have a hint of truth in it then…”

“Alec,” Jace said in warning.

“Alright, I’m going. Don’t sleep with anyone while I’m gone.” Simon gulped and was even more nervous than before. What did Jace think of him now? And Clary and her theory? He quickly changed and went back into the room where Jace was half changed out of his shirt.

“Sorry!” Simon quickly closed the door. What kind of person changed with the door cracked open?

“I’m fully dressed now, don’t worry.” Seeing Jace now made his palms sweat. He tried to focus on the floor, and anything but Jace’s eyes. “Simon? You okay?”

“Yeah. I should actually get going now.”

“Simon. We’re cool right? There’s nothing you need to tell me?” Oh god. He should have known this was coming. Clary and her goddamned theories.

“No. There’s something I need to ask you though.” He was going for it. Jace was surprised but he went with it.

“Ask away.”

“Why did you invite me to stay over last night? Were you just trying to be nice? Did you feel bad for me? Why did you do it?” Simon suddenly had the courage to look Jace right in his eyes. Jace struggled to respond.

“It’s complicated. Well, no, it actually isn’t. I haven’t had...I’ve never had a friend before? Like an honest-to-god friend. Not a fighting partner or mission buddy. That’s all business. I do have Izzy and Alec but...you know nothing about me. And I know that should be scary but...for once it’s good. I never got to do stuff like this- movie marathons and ‘sleepovers.’ It’s stupid, I know-” “No that’s not stupid at all. I haven’t had any new friends in such a long time. When you’re friends with Clary it takes up most of your time.”

“Sounds accurate.”

“And I do know something about you.”

“Yes?”

“You like to talk during movies.”

“You’re gonna have to deal with it when we do this again, that’s just how I am.” When?

“This wasn’t a one time thing,” Simon said, testing the waters.

“Is that okay with you?”

“I’d love to do this again. Just- don’t fall asleep.”

“You fell asleep yourself!”

“Only after you decided to fall asleep on my shoulder.” That’s right. What did it look like to Alec, seeing the two of them resting heads together with a laptop in front of them? And now he’s reminded of their whole conversation.

“About that. I’m going to say it now, so it’s out in the open.” Oh god. “I don’t want to lead you on or anything, I really don’t and-”

“Clary and her goddamned theories.” He couldn’t last listening to Jace like this.

“You heard…” Simon nodded. “Everything?”

“Yeah, I heard everything. You must think I’m pathetic or something. For the record, no, I don’t like you that way and I don’t know why Clary was saying all of that but she’s wrong and I don’t know why Alec had to get involved-”

“So you don’t like me...like that,” Jace said slowly.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”

“Okay.” That’s it? Okay? “You also don’t want me to give you dating advice when it comes to guys right?”

“No!” Simon had never felt so embarrassed and he wished he could just evaporate.

“I just wanted to straighten things out between us.”

“Straighten. Ha. What makes you feel qualified to give me dating advice about guys anyway?” He was feeling defensive and god, he wanted to shove something in Jace’s face. He was tired of always feeling lesser than and like the one being played on.

“I don’t feel qualified, I...it can’t be that different. You were the one who brought it up in the first place,” Jace was uncomfortable and Simon was reveling in it.

“For your information, it is different, completely different. In fact, there’s a whole new guidebook for it, and only select people can get a hold of and-” He didn’t even know what he was talking about anymore, he was saying whatever he could think of.

“Why are you getting so defensive?”

“I’m not defensive,” Simon said, crossing his arms.

“Simon, you...The second I told you I’m not trying to lead you on you got defensive and I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what I did wrong.” Now Simon felt bad.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s that...When you and Alec were talking about me before, I felt I don’t know..less than? Like a child? ‘Don’t hurt Simon’s feelings!’ ‘Simon likes you’ It was so out of my control and I don’t want to feel like a toy or a porcelain doll or whatever.”

“You’re not any of those things, and I don’t want to make you feel that way. Simon, you’re enough as you are. Alec and I shouldn’t have talked about you, that was wrong. And even if you were to have feelings for me, there would be no power imbalance. It wouldn’t matter. I swear.” Simon was overwhelmed by Jace’s words. It had been a long time since someone had told him something like that. “Simon?”

“Thanks for that. I’m sorry about before, I didn’t mean it. Can we just forget all of what happened this morning?”

“I’d like that.”

“Want to finish our Harry Potter marathon?”

“Are you serious?”

“We were almost halfway! Plus I can’t go anywhere right now, with it being midday.”

“First, food. Or blood, in your case.” They did end up finishing their marathon, to Simon’s delight. He even let Jace comment for some of the movies. Simon had started off coming to Magnus’s to yell at Jace, and instead he had gained a, hopefully, solid friendship. Where that would take them, Simon didn’t know but he was ready for the ride. He had yet to talk to Clary about her supposed theory, but after spending most of a weekend with Jace he couldn’t help but go back to it. What did she see that he didn’t? How did he act around Jace that differed from everyone else? As he began to question and question he was reminded of Jace’s head on his shoulder and his smile and his devotion to watching the marathon and honestly he was thinking too much of Jace. Maybe he was in for more of a bumpy ride than he thought.

[thedeadflag]

Fake Marriage AU pt1 tester

So I’ve been working on this Fake married AU ever since @ajaegerpilot informed me of the dearth of fake married AU fics in femslash

It’s still very much a work in progress, and I’ve got more written than I’ll post here, but this is, like, the bedrock. And I want to make sure this is heading in the right direction before I set too much of the other scenes in stone.

Essentially, Clarke and Anya, and Anya’s daughter Jill, get mistaken as a married family by one of Anya’s cousins who hasn’t seen her in over a decade. Which escalates to Clarke’s mom hearing about it and freaking out, which leads to an attempt at passing themselves off as ‘just engaged’ which I can take in one of two directions

- Success (they’re perceived as engaged, or married but only with a certificate/without having had a ceremony, and ultimately get pushed into an impromptu wedding ceremony that forces them to come clean and make it real)

- Failure (everyone still thinks they’re married, and that forces a lot of married couple shenanigans that, eventually, lead to them realizing they both want it to be real)

I’m taking votes. I’ve got outlines written for each option, so this decision is up for grabs. Maybe let me know what you want to read?

Opening portion of the fic under the cut: (unedited fully, so there might be some errors, and it’s still rough and I could change things around)

Anya let out a groan as she sat back in her seat, the annoyance and exhaustion of the past twelve hours searing a path up her throat and into the confines of her bedroom-slash-office. As well as her job paid her, sometimes she just wanted to destroy the world over how absurd and terrible her clients could be.  Everything would always be going according to plan, and then she'd be tossed some 'minor changes' last minute that were larger in scale than the initial web development work she'd been assigned to do, and only given a handful of hours to make it happen.

She'd always meet the deadline of course, but it didn't change how burned out she'd be at the end of it.

Anya rubbed at her face, sighing through her fingers, knowing that she needed a relaxing evening after her hellish day.

Thankfully, her little one out in the living room would surely see to that quite easily. Anya stretched out her aching, stiff limbs and ambled out of her computer chair, stilling at her bedroom door for a moment to take in one last moment of solitude before her daughter would take up the rest of her day.

Not that she wasn't eager to see her little girl and wrap her little one up in her arms, but a few years of hard fought training to get Jill to respect her working situation had also taught her to cherish those brief silent moments outside of work and family life. When life could be so hectic as a single mother with a demanding job, it was important to take a breather when she could.

Feeling a little recharged, Anya opened the door and stepped out of her room, grinning at the sudden pitter-patter of feet as her daughter careened around the corner and into the hallway. "Mommy!"

Anya knelt and scooped her little one up, pressing a kiss to her daughter's nose. "Someone's energized after their nap."

"Uh huh, I'm watching red pandas an' baboons! Are you done work?" Jill asked, her big brown eyes gleaming with hope as she tugged a little at Anya's necklace.

"I am, little one. Do you mind if I watch the animals with you?" She asked, eskimo-kissing her little girl when she gave a quick thumbs up, her daughter's telltale sign that she wanted something good but wasn't sure how to go about saying it.

Anya watched her little one think as she made her way to the living room, Jill's brow furrowed and carrying a distinct look of concentration across her face. "Mommy?"

"Yes, little one?" She noted, sitting the both of them down on the couch.

"Is that one of the silly ones where if you want somethin', you gotta say no?" Her daughter asked, one of the many questions she'd get from her inquisitive little girl every week. Anya tried her best to challenge Jill when she could, knowing kids learned easiest when they were young.

"It is. If you don't mind me joining you, that means you are okay with me joining you. If you do mind, that means you don't want me to join you." She explained, drawing a slow nod from Jill as the girl worked through it. "Do you want to guess at what the word 'mind' might mean when I use it like that?"

Jill's face contorted in concentration for a moment before a hesitant look of curiosity passed across her features. "It means...making you upset or sad?"

Anya pulled her daughter in for a hug, fingers briefly moving to tickle her girl's sides, adoring the gleeful giggling. "That's good! You're so clever, baby girl. It's the same as saying 'would it be alright if I join you' or 'would it upset you if I joined you', does that make sense?" She asked, drawing an immediate nod. "Now, not to overwork that beautiful brain of yours, but have you thought about dinner?"

It was a house rule that Anya had established after her daughter's fourth birthday; her daughter, so long as the request was reasonable, would decide Friday dinners.  It gave her munchkin something to look forward to during the week, and while it usually necessitated a trip to the grocery store, it'd at least get them out for a walk. And with her own birthday coming up that weekend, she knew she could use whatever exercise she could get to counterbalance the cake and sweets she was sure to be given.

Jill's big brown eyes lit up like the fourth of July. "Lasagna!"

It took a few seconds to push past the confusion, knowing Jill had spent the first part of the week yearning for pizza. Anya had even went out and stocked up on ingredients to make it at home. Lasagna was more than a little out there as a diner choice, at least for her six and a half year old daughter.

Still, it was something that, despite her lack of experience, they could certainly try and make together. "Lasagna it is, then, little one. May I ask why?"

"Cuz Garfield eats it and it's funny." Her daughter answered, her attention mostly back on the television, where red pandas were playing in the underbrush of a forest.

Anya let out a quiet laugh, shaking her head at the thought that a portly cat with an appetite for Italian food could sway her daughter's culinary desires. Gus must have showed her some of his old comic books yesterday...Anya mused, knowing it was the only time that week that she'd spent significant time out of the house.

"We'll need to go to the grocery store if we want to make lasagna tonight, munchkin. You want to get ready?" Anya asked, Jill not needing to hear the end of her sentence before dashing off to her room to get her lucky beanie.

"I love you, mom! It's gonna be great!" Jill yelled, Anya's bundle of exuberance darting off to her room.

Anya looked off towards the front door, knowing her next door neighbour and best friend should be home from work by now. I wonder if I should...

"Can we bring mama with us?" Jill called out from her room, and even all these years later, Anya couldn't keep the blush from her cheeks if she tried, her daughter apparently reading her mind in that moment.

It had been a kindness that she had been unable to deny her daughter or her best friend, given how involved Clarke had been in her pregnancy and in helping raise Jill. Even in the early depths of her residency, Clarke had managed to find time to be with her nearly every step of the way. From managing her heartbreak after her fiancée's death, to being her Lamaze partner, to being there for her birth to hold her hand, to Jill's first steps, and first birthday, Clarke had been there vowing to care for her and Jill no matter what, and for that, when her daughter had decided Clarke was 'mama' around the eleven month mark, she couldn't deny it.

Of course, back then, it felt like more out of respect to Clarke's role in Jill's life as something of a second parent, but as years passed, that sentiment shifted  and transformed, much like the feelings she had for her best friend changed into something more than platonic.

Not that Clarke knew, of course. Not that she'd ever act on it, given her daughter's wellbeing was her top priority, and any chance at a potential failed relationship causing Clarke to leave would be too high of stakes to gamble on.

Even if Clarke was brilliant and caring and kind, with the most glorious smile and laughter in the history of the Earth. Even if her heart would beat a little harder every time her daughter called Clarke 'mama', yearning for a future where their family would be secure and even more than it currently was. Even if the sight of Clarke goofing off with Jill would often have her fantasizing about more little ones running around, and them in a bigger home, full of pictures and adorably crude artwork and love.

Anya let out a sigh and smiled, knowing those fantasies would have to play out purely in her mind. "Of course, little one. Why don't we go over and see if she wants to come along?"

Jill darted through the house towards the door, Anya just managing to grab hold of her little girl first, taking a brief moment to do up the zipper of her hoodie. Undeterred, as soon as she let go, her front door was open, and Jill was knocking in Clarke's door across the hall.

Back when she was younger and midway through her pregnancy, she hadn't really expected much out of her new friendship with Clarke, but when her neighbour moved out, Clarke moved heaven and Earth to secure it, and had lived there ever since. It was a proximity that she'd long been accustomed to, often treating their combined apartments as one larger space, given how often they spent in each other's places.

Anya checked her watch, figuring Clarke had likely finished her post-workout shower maybe five minutes ago, ten tops. So it wasn't surprising when Clarke answered the door wearing a bath robe and with her hair still up in a towel.

It never got old how Clarke's eyes would flash with joy and excitement every time she'd see Jill after being apart, Clarke immediately scooping her girl up and spinning her around. "My Jilly bean! How are you?"

"Mom's makin' lasagna! Wanna come get groceries?" Her daughter asked excitedly, cutting to the chase as usual.

"Tasty! Yeah, I'd be happy to." Clarke said, coming to a stop and meeting Anya's gaze. "You got a recipe or are you winging it as usual?"

Anya laughed, cocking an eyebrow. "What, no flair for adventure, Clarke?"

Clarke gave Jill a good squeeze before setting her down again, eyes narrowing playfully at Anya. "I can be adventurous. I'm totally adventurous!" Clarke protested, and all Anya could do was roll her eyes at the bald-faced lie. "I'm serious! It's just I have a really great recipe I used to make all the time, and I think you'd like it an all, and it'd save you the trouble. But I could be adventurous if I wanted to be."

Anya stepped closer at Clarke's indignant huff, lifting a finger to poke her neighbour's nose. "Fine. But it'd better impress. We've got to kick the weekend off properly, right, little one?"

"Right!" Jill agreed cheerfully, firmly nodding her head.

"Well, in that case, I'd better get dressed quick so we can get to it!" Clarke stated excitedly, rushing back into her apartment, and while she had an idea that their trip to the grocery store would be an adventure as always, she knew her evening would be that much better with her favourite woman there to share it with.

Her, Jill, and Clarke, just as it should be.

Maybe not in the exact way she'd dream of, but she'd take it any way she could get it.

It was a minor disaster.

Clarke stared at the shelves and try as she might, she couldn't fight the frown that formed on her lips at the sight of an unfamiliar Kashi cereal box where her usual cold cereal staple had resided ever since she'd moved into the city.

Despite living in the same apartment, she and Anya went to different grocery stores more often than not. Clarke went a little out of her way to a place with better meats and cheeses, and which stocked her favourite cereal. She'd made a convincing argument earlier that the lasagna needed the right kind of cheese, so they'd made the trek to her store, where she figured she could top up on cereal given she was running low.

And it was gone. Replaced by some granola cranberry cereal. Not a box of Cinnamon Life cereal in sight.

"It's gone." She muttered to herself in shock and despair, frame slumping at the utter defeat of losing yet another favourite thing. It was one thing for her favourite candies to switch their green ones from lime to putrid green-apple; she could deal with that, given candy was a special once in a blue moon sort of thing. But a breakfast staple bowing out? Her favourite cereal since she was six?

The world was a little duller now. The sun a little less bright. The songbirds more muted.

"What is?" Anya asked, her focus snapping away from the shopping list on her phone.

"My favourite cereal." Clarke whined. Yes, whined, she was allowed to do that when she lost something precious to her.

Maybe she was emanating an aura of despair, because Anya usually poked at her with a lighthearted jab or tease, but those familiar arms wrapped around her waist instead, Anya's chin resting on her shoulder. "Well, that sucks. I'm sorry."

Clarke delayed her response, not wanting the moment to end, always loving when Anya would hold her close. It was pretty much the best thing, and in a world with one less great thing, she wanted to hold onto this one a little longer. "Thanks. Guess I'll have to get Raisin Bran instead."

"Two scoops?" Anya asked, an entirely absurd question.

"Is there any other choice? As if I'm grabbing the single scoop no-name junk." Clarke laughed, covering Anya's hands with her own. "Thanks for cheering me up, babe."

Anya reached up and grabbed a box of Raisin Bran. "Well, it's not every day we have a cereal emergency." Anya noted, placing the box into their basket, though those warm amber eyes remained fixed on Clarke's hand. "I can't believe you wear that outside of work. One of these days, you're going to get robbed."

Clarke rolled her eyes, even as she was certain her cheeks were tinted a little rosier. It was common knowledge that doctors with rings were assumed to be more stable, more trustworthy, so she'd bought up a pre-owned engagement ring for relatively cheap way back. She'd been sitting on her trust fund since she'd moved out east, so it'd been as good of an investment as any, and she liked it. It looked like a star, and it helped her patients respect her a bit more.

And it kept the grocery store owner, Tony, and his brothers off her case. Which, sexist or not, made for an easier shopping experience than having a bunch of brothers trying to one-up each other to earn her attention.

"One, it keeps the Lorenzen brothers off my back. Two, it's a marquise-cut, it's gonna stand out, and pre-owned engagement rings don't have much value when you're selling them. It'd take the cops, like, five minutes to find out where it was sold and who sold it." Clarke argued, leaving out the final reason of it casting an illusion that she and Anya were a unit, even if it wasn't a fantasy she generally allowed herself to linger on.

She'd been Anya's best friend for seven-ish years now. If Anya saw her any other way, then she would have said something. Anya was blunt and straight-forward like that. And Anya hadn't, meaning she'd remain Anya's best friend, and help take care of her and her Jilly bean the best she could.

"Whatever you say, Clarke." Anya countered playfully, turning her focus down the aisle to her daughter. "Jiiiill, step away from the Rainbow Pebbles, please."

Jill predictably let out a huff and stomped her foot, even if she did obey and march back over. "But mom, they're tasty an' pretty."

Anya picked her daughter up and gave her an appraising stare. "If you get your next four spelling quizzes perfect, I'll buy some for you then. Okay, little one?"

The munchkin's face contorted a little in concentration before falling into a sad pout. "But, that's in two weeks! That's forever!"

"What if I set a goal for two weeks from now and we did it together?" Clarke asked, immediately earning the little bean's attention. "I want to buy a whole bag of peaches and make some peach cobbler, but it's a special dessert, something you have to earn. So if I work hard over the next two weeks and get all my paperwork done on time, I'll buy those peaches. And if you work hard and ace those spelling quizzes, you'll get your Fruity Pebbles. Deal?"

Jill, of course, shot Anya her best puppy eyes. "Mommy, what are you gonna do in two weeks?"

"Buy your cereal and deal with Clarke force feeding me her cobbler, apparently." Anya laughed, though Clarke knew she'd have no trouble  with leftovers after how much her best friend had loved her last batch.

Clarke moved swiftly, taking hold of the grocery basket and slipping behind Anya in a single smooth motion, bringing her free hand to rest at Anya's waist. "Jilly bean, I think mommy's more excited than she lets on."

"Uh huh, you love Fridays!" Jill exclaimed, spreading her arms out wide. "You love'em this much!"

Anya let out an overdone exasperated sigh, leaning ever so slightly back into Clarke as she shifted her grip on her girl. "Okay, you two, I..."

"Anya?"

The voice was unfamiliar, but the sense of shock and wonder exuding from both syllables offered a sense of familiarity, forcing Clarke's attention from her best friend to a brunette a few feet away who looked as if she'd seen a ghost.

Anya turned, gazing over Jill's shoulder at the newcomer with caution. "Do we know each other?" Anya asked slowly, her eyes growing wide as she stepped closer. "Wait, Luna? Is that you?"

The woman just flicked her gaze between Anya, Jill and her, those dark eyes settling for a moment near Clarke's hip before darting back to Anya all wide-eyed. "I knew it! I knew it I knew it!" The woman, Luna apparently, practically shrieked before rushing forward to pull the group of them into a brief hug. "Oh my god, I was talking with Sienne and she said you were, but no one believed her, and oh my gosh you're all so cute! And your little one's so adorable! And the RING!"

Knowing Anya knew this person enough to not physically recoil was probably the only reason Clarke hadn't pushed for some distance. As it was, she was having a hard enough time keeping up with the motor-mouth. "Are you...related?"

"Luna's my cousin." Anya spoke, making some sense of the intrusion. She'd heard all about Anya being exiled from her family back out west, much like she'd been; it'd been one of the many things they'd quickly bonded over. So maybe seeing a friendly face walk back into her life was a good thing.

"Oh, well I'm Clarke Griffin, her..." Started started to introduce herself, but Luna burst out into another verbal explosion before she could finish.

"Her WIFE! I can't believe it! When you got kicked out, I was sure, I was SURE you'd make it out here, and look at you! Married with a kid and a beautiful wife! And DANG you went all out on that ring, she must treat you well! As she should!" Luna continued hastily with a firm nod in Clarke's direction. "Oh my god, the family's going to be so blown away! You've literally missed so much! Lexa's engaged to her girlfriend now, and there was a huge blow-up, but like, grams wasn't about to lose you AND Lexa so she put her foot down, and your 'rents just friggin' had to deal with it, and Lexa's had to deal with it, and the fam's been a bit wild, but they're, you know, comin' around and all that. And they SHOULD! God, look at you! You look fantastic! And with a beautiful wife! God, I'm crying, this is so much!"

"Luna, just calm down a little bi..." Anya started, but Luna had no sooner wiped her eyes before she was back at it.

"I know, I know, I get over-excited, you always said so, I just didn't expect to catch you here in Queens! Of all places! I'm not even living here, I'm just in town for a real estate convention! And I run into you and your beautiful family, and it's Friday, and you're probably so busy like all New Yorker's, I'm sorry. I just had to say hi, and I swear I'll be out of your hair, I just WOW, you know? So great. I'm so happy for you! I should'a been there for you and I get you don't want to see my face, it's totally fair! And it's just so..." Luna rambled endlessly, with absolutely no gaps between words, voice too loud to even hope to interrupt, no matter how Clarke might have tried.

"It's not what you..." Anya started again with her eyes clamed shut in annoyance, raising her voice just enough to catch her cousin's attention, the brunette taking an immediate three steps backward, hands raised in surrender.

"I get it, I'm intruding on a family outing. Just get a hold of me on Facebook or whatever alright? I've been missin' you. I'm sorry, you're all so beautiful. So beautiful. Ridiculous! I'll go, you three have a wonderful night! A wonderful night!" Luna shot back, retreating quickly, and then almost as soon as she'd arrived, she was gone, leaving nothing but disbelief and confusion in her wake.

Clarke slowly turned to gauge Anya's well-being after her first familial encounter in over a decade, and she could see that past the befuddlement on the surface, her best friend was trembling. Minutely, perhaps, but trembling nevertheless.

Carefully, she set down their groceries and extracted Jill from Anya's arms, giving her best friend a minute or so with her breathing exercises; she could see Jill had a million questions on her mind, and the tiny tot knew she'd have to wait it out, too.

When Anya finally opened her eyes again, the days' exhaustion was evident on her features. Still, she wasn't shaking anymore, so when Anya reached her arms out, she gladly passed jill back but kept close, an arm around Anya's waist to let her know she was there.

"Mommy, who was that?" Jill eventually asked, hand wrapping around Anya's necklace nervously.

"That was my cousin Luna. You know how Gus is my uncle?" Anya asked slowly, earning a hesitant nod from her daughter. "Luna is the daughter of one of my aunts. I haven't seen her in fourteen years."

"Why not?" It was a simple question, but the emotion it brought to Anya's face had Clarke wrapping her arms around her friend, hoping to offer some semblance of comfort.

"Her parents wouldn't let her. They aren't nice people." Anya answered, giving her head a light shake and forcing a smile. "But enough of that. We have lasagna to make, don't we, little one?"

With that, Anya handed Jill back to Clarke, picked up their shopping basket, and marched off towards the dairy section to get the last items on their list, the cheese.

Clarke followed after her, pressing a kiss to an equally concerned Jill. "Lots of extra hugs for mommy tonight, okay, Jilly bean?" She asked, earning a nod as she set the little girl down. "She's just a little sad right now, but she's fine. It's okay to be sad. Like, remember when I finished The Hobbit, and you were sad because you couldn't hear about all the characters doing anything new?"

Jill reached up and curled her little hand around her fingers as they made their way through the store. "Yeah, I was really sad. I liked all the dwarves."

"And it was okay to be sad about that. Just like it's okay if your mom's sad right now. She'll cheer up when she's ready, but until then we should definitely give her all the love we can. Deal?" She asked, gently pulling her hand free from Jill's enough to offer a pinkie finger.

Jill's face transformed from a cloudy, worried expression to one full of hope and determination, bringing a tiny pinkie to link with Clarke's. "Deal!"

Clarke shot her a grin and kept their pinkies linked as they walked, catching up with Anya who was intensely studying the cheese rack. In that moment, all of Luna's rambling caught up with her, and as much as she fought back against the tide of emotion the fantasy of them being a family dredged up, she couldn't quite tamp down on it all. Thankfully, she had a beautiful little girl she loved like a daughter to channel the rest of it to. "Love you, Jilly bean."

"Love you, mama."

And really, that would always be enough. As much as she yearned to date and eventually marry her best friend, it just wasn't realistic. It wasn't in the cards. And so long as Anya and Jill loved her, so long as both of her favourite girls were happy and healthy, she could never ask for anything more.

Clarke Griffin, after all, wasn't a fool. She knew when to gamble and when to fold. Maybe she did lack a sense of adventure on some things, but she was too scared to risk all she had over a 'what if', no matter how tantalizing that hypothetical was.

Lasagna, a movie, and some serious cuddling with the Hawthorne ladies was all she needed tonight.

Anya leaned back against her daughter's closed door, smiling to herself at her little one's thirst for stories. A strong imagination was good for a child to have, and had been one of few sources of comfort for her growing up. Being able to help foster that in her daughter, much in the way she'd yearned for as a child, was something she cherished, even if it sometimes led to reading a few extra chapters every night.

It'd been a long, arduous day, but even after the stomach-churning surprise at the grocery store, she still couldn't help but feel it'd been a good one. Her daughter, especially, had been so sweet and cuddly from the walk home al the way to her bed time, and that had made all the difference in the world to her mood.

Jill was her world. Being able to hold her and spend some quality time watching a movie, even if it was a musical, was enough to boost her spirits on any given day. Having Clarke on hand as well only helped keep those darker thoughts and emotions at bay.

Anya made her way back to the living room, pausing at the corner to take in the sight of her best friend, all snuggled up under a heap of blankets, phone in hand. Probably playing some sort of bejeweled game again...

"You warm enough in there?" She asked, a grin spreading across her lips as she slowly made her way over towards the couch and sat down, strething her leg across the width of it and onto Clarke's cocoon of blankets.

"Oooh, stinky feet! How'd you know what I've been wishing for every night before bed?" Clarke countered with theatrical dramatics, letting out an airy sigh as she reached out of her cocoon and took hold of Anya's ankles. "Oh, my life is surely complete with these feet now in my possession."

"I'd imagine so. What else do you get the woman who has everything?" Anya added as she stretched out, watching Clarke untangle herself enough to gain some semblance of a lap, enough to place Anya's feet onto. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, nothing much." Clarke noted innocently, shooting her a sly smile that nearly had Anya pulling her feet away. Nearly.

Instead, she felt Clarke's hand start to rub and knead at her feet, forcing a happy moan up and out of her throat. It'd been over a month since Clarke had massaged her feet; she'd almost forgotten how good the woman was at it.

"You don't have to..." Anya mumbled, eyes fluttering shut as she let the delectable sensations Clarke was inducing wash over her.

"You've had a hard day, babe. Let me take care of this for you." Clarke whispered, voice low and soft, sending a pleasant tingle up her spine. "Just relax, Anya."

Maybe she did relax. Maybe her mind drifted off to a fantasy where she'd be off living her dream, writing for television instead of working as a web developer, coming home to Clarke and her magical goddamn hands. And maybe their family movie nights would involve some kissing, even if Jill would wrinkle her nose as their displays. And maybe they'd go to bed together, wishing each other sweet dreams and they wrapped each other up, not wanting to be apart for a moment longer than was necessary.

God, do I miss sleeping with a warm body against me...the annual camping trip where the three of us share Gus' tent, and Clarke and I get cozy is just...is not often enough...Anya mused to herself, knowing the thoughts were dangerous, but with how increasingly relaxed she was feeling, it was hard to stem the tide on that front. Fuck, it's been three years since I've had any action...I...

The sound of Clarke's phone vibrating atop the side table tore her focus back to reality, especially when Clarke removed a hand from her feet to grab her phone.

"What the..." Clarke muttered, staring at the phone in confusion before cautiously answering the call on speakerphone. "..hello?"

The soft sound of sobbing met her ears, prompting Anya to scoot up beside Clarke, nestling in close to figure out who was calling.

Anya froze at the sight of the contact name, knowing the last time Clarke had spoken to her mother on the phone a few year ago, and the lasting fallout she'd helped her best friend through. After that, Clarke had laid down a rule that her mother always request permission to call via text, a rule that, as far as she knew, Abby Griffin had kept to ever since.

"Mom? Hello?" Clarke continued, prompting a hitched breath on the other end.

"Tell me...Clarke, tell me you jus' forgot. That...that it was a Vegas thing. Please." Abby Griffin pleaded, all slurring words and tearful requests. It sounded like something had the woman hitting the bottle pretty hard.

Clarke shot her a confused glance, shrugging before shifting focus back to the phone. "Mom, what are you talking about?"

"What am...what am I talkin' about? Clarke..." Abby shot back, voice splintering on Clarke's name as the woman descended into a fresh fit of sobs. What followed was a loud series of jumbled syllables that she couldn't at all make sense of.

By Clarke's utter bewilderment, neither could her best friend. "Mom, I need you to just take a breather and calm down, or just call me tomorrow when you're not plastered.  Okay? Can you do that?"

"Clarke, I'm your mother...even after everythin', I'm still your mom. How could you not tell me?" Clarke's mother cried, literally cried, and while she held disdain over how the woman treated Clarke,  she could empathize with the fact that she'd never want to be cut off from her daughter.

Clarke, however, was just frustrated. "Mom, it's Friday. If this isn't an emergency, I'm busy."

"I'm sorry if I'm ruining movie night with your WIFE, Clarke, but I just...I'm really hurt that you did this without even tellin' me! Am...are we so far gone you can't at least tell me you got married?!" Abby Griffin wailed, stealing the breath from Anya's lungs as her brain tried to comprehend how they were even having that conversation.

Somehow, it all linked back to Luna, but there was just no way. No reasonable explanation as to how or why Luna could or would get a hold of Clarke's mother about this.

"Oh my god, this isn't happening..." Clarke muttered hazily to herself as she set the phone down on the coffee table, hands lifting up to rub at her face.

Abby, it seemed, felt content to keep going, strings of words leaking into the room as she and Clarke tried to catch their breath. "It's just I always thought we'd mend this thing between us! I thought we agreed that we'd keep workin' at it, and commu...comm...that we'd talk to each other, an' that we'd keep each other up to speed! That you'd give me a chance to make it right again, Clarke. How did you get married between two months ago and now? I just love you so much, Clarke, and I don't understand, but...but I want to! And I really wanted to walk you down the aisle but I...I get that with your father gone maybe it was too painful...I don't know, I just know I wanted to be there to hug you and tell you how...how proud I...Clarke I'm so proud! The most proud! Clarke. They have no idea how proud! And a daughter! A daughter!"

"God, mom, Jill is..."

"Her name is Jill? Oh, Clarke that's a beautiful name! Did you know I considered naming you Jill? That's tremendous! But your father, he vetoed it and won the...the coin flip. Oh this is wonderful! But Clarke! You got married and didn't tell me! It's jus' that..."

"Look, just let me expl..."

"...you know I love your step-father but...but I'd have left him in LA to go to your wedding, sweetheart. I would! I jus' want you to be happy! And there you are with your movie nights, and your daughters, and your..."

"Anya's just got the one, mom, and..."

"...your WIFE. Your wife Anya, oh, Clarke! I wish I could meet her! You have to bring her, I mean, uh, well, you don't have to, but I need to make things right 'tween us, Clarke! I need to prove to you that I can be a good mom to you again, that you're my daughter. I'll tell everyone! I'll tell the world! I'm so proud, Clarke! I promise you, I'll make it up to you. I want you to bring her to my birthday in August! I know you don't want to but Clarke! Clarke! You got married! I didn't get to see you at your wedding, or...or walk you down the aisle!"

"Mom, can you just calm the f..."

"And I know you have important work, and and...Anya? Anya has important work, too, but school will be out, and you can come by and I just love you so much! I am so proud of you and I miss you so much it hurts! It hurts, Clarke! Please let me make this right to you, I beg you! I'm begging, Clarke! Please let me try! I promise I'll make it right, I'll make it all right, I promise!"

Anya could tell Clarke was getting more exasperated by the second, and could practically see the migraine slipping into her best friend's skull, so she grabbed up the phone, scooting away from Clarke as her bestie shot her a bewildered stare.

"Mrs Griffin? This is Anya Hawthorne speaking?" She chimed in, momentarily stilling the drunken tearful ramblings of Clarke's mother.

"...hi! Oh my I am so emb...embarrassed, I mus' be making a terrible first impression, I promise you I'm..." Abby started up again, but Anya knew she had to nip it in the bud or else they'd be at this until the woman passed out from her forays into alcohol.

"It's fine, Mrs Griffin, really. Jill's not feeling so well right now, and I need Clarke to go check on her, so I'll keep this short and sweet until we can get back to you properly, okay?" Anya asked in a calm, measured tone, hoping the motherhood card would play well and get Abby behaving for the moment.

Thankfully, by the awed sigh on the other end of the phone, it seemed she made the right call. "I am so proud of you both. Of course, your...your daughter needs to...she's the most important. The most. Of course."

Anya took a breath and focused, knowing that they had stumbled earlier that day and hadn't done anything to contain the fallout. Now, they had Abby Griffin calling late at night, and who knew who else freaking out online about it.

They had to mitigate the situation, and from Luna and Abby's visceral reactions, a flat denial didn't seem to be anything either would accept as truth. She'd have to toss a hail mary pass and hope for the best with this one, and hope it wouldn't ruin anything between her and Clarke.

Her decision had nothing, of course, to do with any of her repressed fantasies, or anything like that.

"I'm so glad you understand. Now, despite what you might have heard, Clarke and I haven't had a wedding yet, you didn't miss anything. And it was sort of recent, even if we've been together for some time now. So please get some rest, Mrs Griffin. I'll talk to Clarke about a visit, but right now we just need to take care of our girl and relax after a hard week." Anya stated carefully, doing her best to keep her focus dead ahead and not on whatever expression Clarke might be wearing. The situation needed to be handled, and Clarke needed her to handle it. It'd been her fault to start with, not correcting Luna in time at the grocery store.

"I...I understand. I'm so so happy for you two, and...and thank you for letting me know. Thank you. I'm sorry for calling so late, I...I should let you rest. I wish your daughter all the best. All the best." Abby let out tearfully, though clearly much less frantic and emotional now, thank goodness.  "Goodnight Anya Haw...Anya Hawthorne. And tell Clarke goodnight for me please?"

"I will, Abby. Goodnight to you, too." Anya finished, ending the call and setting the phone back down on the table.

Anya took a moment, inhaling slowly, steadying her nerves before letting it all out, imagining her worries flowing out with it, because she needed to be focused. She needed to be strong and decisive. And even more, she needed to be ready to face down a mirage of her fantasies if it came to that.

"Why did you do that?" She heard Clarke whisper, sounding much closer than she'd left her.

Anya turned her head and came face to face with Clarke, who was half a foot away with fierce concern etched across her face, those soft blue eyes searching her as if looking for cracks in her armor to patch up.

"She wouldn't have believed us if we said none of it was true. She's known we've been friends for ages. Engagement...it can last for a long time, and they can go away. Gives us flexibility. She just needed to know you haven't given up on her, that she hasn't missed out on everything, and I gave her some semblance of that. It's going to be fine." Anya explained, reaching out and tugging Clarke to come closer.

Clarke thankfully had zero issue with that silent request, quickly curling up beside her. "But what about Jill? If everything goes to shit, this could be so confusing for her. I don't want her caught up in anything."

Anya reached over and pulled Clarke's head down onto her shoulder, settling them into the corner of the couch. "Jill will be fine, I promise. This is the same girl that's called you mama since she was one."

"I love when she calls me that." Clarke murmured, arms wrapping around Anya's waist. As much as she hated anything that made Clarke nervous and anxious, she adored that Clarke always got so cuddly and affectionate with her when she was feeling vulnerable. She loved being the one Clarke turned to for comfort and guidance.

Clarke had taken such good care of her for years. Any chance she had to return the favor was one she'd cherish.

"She adores you, and already sees you as her other parent. Remember last year? The kindergarten mishap? We spent a half hour in the classroom, with all the paperwork, and her teacher still wasn't convinced you weren't her step-mother. It doesn't matter. Jill knows I'm her mommy...and you're her mama. We didn't need to be married for her to feel comfortable with that. I doubt she'd think twice about any of that kind of talk." Anya continued, stroking a hand through Clarke's hair, a soft smile curling at her lips over the gentle hum from her best friend over her affections. "Besides, it's not like our life's going to change. Luna doesn't live here. Your mother lives out in LA. We just wait a bit and let this blow over."

"My mom won't let it blow over. She's too intense." Clarke mumbled, and perhaps that was true enough. Still, she'd handled Abby Griffin once, she'd handle her again. And if something necessitated them visiting Clarke's mother, well, she'd coach Clarke and Jill through it all. And maybe she'd enjoy the snapshot of a life she yearned for, but it wasn't as if she was seeking that out. If it happened, then they'd cross that bridge when they got to it.

"You don't need to worry about that. I'll take care of this, Clarke, I promise you. Your mother will believe we're engaged and not married. And it's not as if we have a lot of friends, but our closest will play whatever parts we need for us, and any others won't have been in the loop enough to know one way or another. We can control the message." Anya noted, turning her head and burying her face in Clarke's hair, just barely restraining herself from kissing her. "We'll be alright. Just keep this coming Wednesday free, and stay off social media."

Clarke snuggled closer, nuzzling her cheek against Anya's shoulder. "Are you sure? It's a lot of trouble, and..."

"It's no trouble, and I'm sure." Anya interrupted, the hand in Clarke's hair redirecting for a moment to massage at her friend's temple, earning a blissful sigh. "I finished my contract today. I won't have work until late next week at the earliest. I'm fine."

"But it's your birthday tomorrow." Clarke complained, not at all happy that Anya could potentially be doing anything but celebrating and relaxing during her 'big day'. As if turning thirty-three was a major accomplishment in its own right.

"And I have you and Jill and our friends to spend it with. But if you're so concerned of me overworking myself, you can always give me a foot massage tomorrow for my efforts." Anya offered, rolling her eyes at Clarke's immediate nod.

Clarke stretched her body out briefly, letting out a satisfied grunt, before curling back in. "Just want you to be happy. I love you. I love Jill. I don't want either of you hurting."

Anya had heard Clarke say those three words countless times across the past seven years, but they always brought a blush to her cheeks and had her heart thudding a little stronger in her chest.  "We'll be fine, Clarke. I promise you that. Look, it's been a long day, why don't we just...relax for a bit before starting up the next movie?"

Clarke only let out a happy sigh, letting their comfortable silence fill the room and envelop them much as they had each other. Anya had a feeling that things might get complicated sooner than later, but all they needed to do was get through the weekend unscathed and then they'd be fine. She just needed enough time to plan and prep, to make sure that people's prying eyes were kept at a distance and that it'd all blow over.

Because even if the idea of them being married or engaged was glorious and heartwarming and so much of what she yearned for, it wasn't a decision she could make. Not with Clarke giving fairly clear signs that she wasn't comfortable with the idea of people thinking they were together.

So she'd handle it. She always did. And they'd be happy, as they were.

But maybe, for a few hours here and there, she'd let her imagination graze against those forbidden fantasy, she'd let her body sink into the comforts and affections Clarke would offer, allowing the tendrils of all those 'what if's brush against her consciousness.

Even if just for a little while.

Anywho, thoughts on where I should take this?