#also not Tumblr specific but yknow
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God there are some people on this website with some very aggressive opinions about how other people interpret and play with fictional characters. Like sorry but who made you captain? Goddamn.
#let people have their different headcanons no one is coming for you#calm tf down#blah#tbd#not about KimChay specifically i have my fingers in a lot of fandoms#though KimChay is relevant#vent#also not Tumblr specific but yknow
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#I mean specifically like. do your siblings know the extent of your interest#not just like. they're vaguely aware you like a thing#mewtchuals will post abt talking at length w their siblings abt a thing or god forbid following them on tumblr and I'm like HUH???#as far as my sister knows cql is a nameless show I have a keychain from#maybe it has something to do w age gap?? like my sister and I are very very close but she's also 5.5 years older than me#we've watched things together before but she like doesn't know I'm insane yknow#ghost posts#poll
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Maybe I should make a pinned blog info post soon... I feel like I need to say more to the people looking at my blog than the blog description size will let me. Also I feel like people don't always read it either 🤨
#mostly because i get a lot of asks still with tonal tags that i. still do not understand#and i dont want to put out posts with code that i do not understand the meaning of#but also i am thinking about other warnings people should know about my blog#like the general content and topic of discussions i can get into etc.#asssss well as links to tags and other thangs :3#so shitty though because tumblr used to have a glorious blog desc section#you could have custom links and everything#you can still make custom pages for your blog but there's like no way for most people to find them#unless they are viewing your specific html blog skin on desktop#so lame what they've done to tumblr to make me gotta post a description. lmfao#anyway sorry. just woke up yknow how it is
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RAHHHH IM NOT DEAD I HAVENT BURNT OUT TRUST
Canto VII is going absolutely insane rn GOD I hate THAT stage you know the one took me a day to complete it
BUT RAHHHH IM BACK!!! SELF INSERT UPON YE
I’ve been stewing on her lore a bit and have a possible scene that could play out in my mind but ye!!
#amethyst’s little rambles#ocs#oc#art#limbus company#artists on tumblr#digital art#lcb#project moon#tbh I did fuck it we ball the background but I will say there are still a couple intentional choices here n there#trying to integrate some of her main symbols yknow#also slightly related Hokma was so based for saying time is like a scythe#like PEAK FICTION YOU YOU GET IT#the feature of the moon is for somewhat obvious reasons (weapon name + moonstone)#the fog and the shattered mirror is to represent how she’s kinda lost her way#as in she’s lost touch with her passion and anger and more intense emotions#due to bottling them all up as those above her considered them distractions to her work#(via the experimental moonstone)#their reaper had to be as efficient to harvest the best results the fastest doesn’t she?#also yknow harvest moon + a scythe having a crescent shaped blade - moon motif#and yknow the two pillars#two mirrors#duality is what that’s supposed to represent because I feel like making a specific other little guy of mine her animus#well the manifestation of her animus AND her repressed true more extreme emotions#both good and bad - yknow he’s where her emotions are going to somehow#she doesn’t know this at first but eventually there’s a reveal where they’re one in the same#and the moonstone fully shatters#leaving her in shambles and most likely distorting as her worldview crumbles around her as like at least a decades worth of repressed#emotions storm over her#with this having been his plan from the beginning - could make Kairos part of the blue group at this rate lmfao he even has the colour
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I have always written in past tense but have really enjoyed writing in present tense lately?? But I saw a few people talking about how a lot of readers refuse to read fanfics written in present tense and I was curious about how true that was?
#ao3#fanfiction#writers on tumblr#writing#fanfic#ao3 fanfic#ao3 writer#fanfics#fanfic writing#archive of our own#ofc this can apply to books too if you want but I was curious about fanfic specifically#any and all input would be super helpful - i'm really curious about this and also don't want to shoot myself in the foot#like I don't want to write something REALLY LONG in present tense if no one is gonna gel with it yknow#I did a short short short thing earlier this month in present tense bc i felt it lent itself to the weird atmosphere but. idk
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.
#love opening this app to post something that’s been proven further right by dumbasses reblogging posts from me#especially love it when it’s extremely apparent who they are and that they’ve been scrolling my blog specifically looking for anything#they construe as anti imogen/laudna .#i like imogen and laudna ! i just also grow tired of female characters being flattened for fandom enjoyment/Tropeability#if u can’t enjoy imperfect characters u don’t deserve them.#anyway . this is just . gestures vaguely . yknow#Will still be posting the thing i was originally gonna but i originally felt off about it and i no longer do . cheers to that#i take it as the deepest tumblr achievement that ppl hate me for . engaging with media in a way i enjoy and find value in rather than just.#block me yk . like adults do
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Listening to Company and feeling Gay
#it’s also been a while since I’ve actively listened to a musical ??? I’ll need to fix that I miss this shit. y’all ever tried theatre?#yknow musicals????#if anyone wants to watch a bootleg of company specifically if I can find it hit me upppp (after I move abshdjfkgkglg)#might even dare I say. take a nap. hopefully don’t wake up at like 1 PM though.#quick lil nap#anyways listening to being alive and being like ‘I can’t imagine myself like. being on the other side of this song’#if there’s one thing I related to in that song it’s the painfully desperate desire in it#love that I tell my partner to make a tumblr all the time but if they did where would I be able to be gay in PEACE#bc if there’s anyone who makes me feel like I’m like. being alive. it is absolutely daemon.
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seeing the music genre polls is just making me feel more defensive to genres im not hugely into.
#also some of you guys are just straight up racist. which i mean its tumblr so yknow but jesus christ#i will stand by forever and ever that you cant define an entire <- esp Main genre of music as Bad#its so diverse and the amount of micro genres is insane !#however when it comes to like. ultra specific niche genres that only include like 3 people and you dont like it then yea i can support that#but theres so many people out there that youre always going to find Something you like. even if you move completely away from popular artist#artists and albums. which a lot of ppl are too lazy to do.#so its just. idk this is like the one thing im super pretentious of cause it means a lot to me. also i dont trust half the voters music#taste. like. theres a niche a lot of ppl fall into which just sucks. so
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actually rebloging this to add to it bc i just remembered this
THIS is an emotion identifying wheel and not only is it a fantastic resource for anyone whos having trouble either identifying what theyre feeling, putitng what theyre feeling into words, or figuring out why specifically theyre feeling some way, it is ALSO a wonderful writing resource to diversify your diction/vocabulary and not just use the same four words for emotions :D learned about these from a mental heath awareness event at my college and i still have a mini laminated one of these in my backpack. extremely handy both for writers and just In General for if you or someone you know is having a hard time doing the human emotion thing :D theres a few different versions but this is the most expansive one i could find the quickest o7
sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four
#bookmarks#fanfic writing#writing#creative writing#writers on tumblr#synonyms#writing resources#mental health#communication#uuhhh not sure how all to tag the more psych part of this#bangsfistontheground TvT#also just. tiny side tangent bc i am Chronically Incapable of not ranting in tags of posts /silly#i am a firm beliver that people should make up words for emotions#to use around other people who know the meaning or just for yourself to Know Whats Up yknow#bc sometimes you cant really find a ''proper word'' that fits how youre feeling#but you can pin a specific event or item or concept that isnt an emotion to it#so why not use that word/those words to reference that emotion. yknow?#maybe its the neurodivergent part of my brain that very much feels like i dont do human emotion the same way some people people do?#but like? if it helps you identify whats Going On in your brain#and helps you comunicat that to people who need to know#then why not?#words are just made up combinations of senceless sounds we repeat at eachother in a feeble attempt to communicate#and half the time doesnt even work because you also have to do the sounds different for different things#and also mime with your face#so why not just make more combonations of senseless sounds to communicate what ur feeling#if it works why not do it etc etc#anyways rant over askdfjnlaskf
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sun, moon
'i've only had john and donny for one session, but if anything happened to them, i would kill everyone in this room and then myself'
HOOBOY. i'm not gonna lie, i have been obsessed with this pair for a while ('a while' being three days) they have everything i love in a ship: they're character parallels, they have a complicated history, and there's just a whole bunch of weird, complex feelings knotted into their relationship. they're wretched things, and i adore them.
the blondie on the left is john engles, and belongs to another player in my group
the sad sop on the right is gordon 'donny' schitz, and he is my son
also, first time posting ocs to tumblr! i might post more, i might not, but i just wanted to share these two because i hate them (affectionate)
#it feels fitting that the first oc art i post to tumblr specifically features ttrpg characters#it's on brand yknow#oc art#my art#im debating tagging their names#i wont for now#if i ever post more content of them then maybe#also do NOT expect that watermark to stay consistent lol
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okay I’m cured
#I can’t fully explain why without actually doxxing myself but oh my god. oh my god.#instagram was either a very good idea or a very bad idea depending on how you look at it but also? eh I’m done now it’s fine#i just saw he was following this specific thing and yeah no. no I’m good actually that’s enough to say no I think#it’s a strange one bc he’s following this green party account too which is kinda The Opposite. I didn’t look that hard at the posts#but other friend I trust is also following it so. actually DO I trust her I barely know her and oh god yknow I really don’t care#that’s an improvement#anyway! this comes after we text a little bit today and that was also enough in a different way#he can’t text basically it reads like he’s writing an email#idk actually maybe that’s not completely true but the fucking full stops man#if he left out the full stops it’d be almost normal#like old man texting#anyway yeah that + seeing That in his following straight after was the last nail in the coffin I’m cured now.#I need to like. maybe get into something with a lower straight guy population I think that would be a good move#bc if I write another post about a straight hockey guy i need someone to take away my tumblr AND my skates#anyway! that was fun but I can go back to being normal now#luke.txt
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ok real talk, i have avoided certain music types/bands because of their fans. and it’s tragic that 1) that’s put me off of it for so long because 2) some of it Does slap tho
#mine#specifically like. i don’t know genre terms lmao#but ig it’s like. grunge/hard rock/metal ??#what bands are good lmaoo#i was always afraid that if i listened to it i’d get the whole#‘whaaaaat a GIRL that likes nirvana’ from dudebros. and ‘oh you’re being Not Like Other Girls’ from pop fans#you know the vibe i’m talking about#and also that the big names like that are just. overhyped by nostalgia yknow#anyway it’s stupid but that’s why i’ve never been a huge music listener#never rly been a fan of tumblr faves bc it’s all very. folky#i know there’s a lot of fan culture that i don’t understand and from the outside it’s inscrutable#spotify has gently placed me in the kiddie pool and i like it#music good sometimes#idk im just out here
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Yknow. I'm in a way glad I came of age/came out as transmasc during the peak of truscum tumblr. It was horribly traumatizing but also all of the popular sentiments and discourse was transparently just fucking bullying. So while it set me back close to a decade in terms of being fully comfortable with myself, its made me fucking bulletproof to the current horseshit going on and I can see right through all its posturing and masquerading as legitimate discourse.
but I am fucking terrified for transmasculine people who are younger or coming out at this time, specifically because these bastards are being way more coy about it this time around. dressing up their attempts to divide and conquer with moralist set dressing and inventing a billion new terms to confuse and misdirect. it's way fucking harder on its face to dismiss as bald faced bigotry that way especially if you're new to trans spaces online, and i know its affecting newly out transmascs already. this is genuinely so much worse than the tucute/anti-sparklegender bullshit.
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'What If It's All A RomCom?' - a Ted Nivison x Reader.
{{-Story Description: You're a youtuber with a fairly decent following deciding to help your good friend Tanner with a minor film project, with you set as the leading lady. When the actor for the male lead is a no show, Ted takes up the role himself. One problem: This short film's a Rom Com, and you just met the guy.-}}
//18+, Def gonna be some smut. Reader is implied to be afab, under 5'5 and has specifically named friends, all who have no real connection to Ted.
This story will be in multiple chapters. Also gonna post this on Wattpad and Ao3 (when I figure them out LMAO) under the same username: ObsessiveStarla. Hope you enjoy :^)
Also idk how to do all the fancy Tumblr border stuff so sorry if it's all messy :^(((//
Word count: 2.3k

Chapter 1: No Show, No Movie.
I'm keeping my eye on the road, occasionally glancing at the GPS to make sure I can guide my buddy Tanner as he drives. We had quite an early morning to get to L.A., having been on the road for the last 2 hours to get to this airbnb we'll be staying at. Tanner's nearing the end of film school, so he's getting all his classmates and anyone else that's available and interested to help him with his big final project: A legit short film, filmed, written and directed by him. Having some experience with being on camera myself, he elected to make me part of the main cast. I don't mind at all, if it'll help him out. Even if it's a romantic comedy. I'll kiss some dude, get him that 100%. I'm excited for this.
"Has Conner messaged me at all?" Tanner asks, breaking the last 20 minutes of silence. I quit out of my daydream to check Tanner's messages. Other members of the crew have updated them on their location, including a name I don't recognize, but Conner hasn't responded at all.
"Nope. Mostly everyone else is nearly there though." I responded, lightly shrugging my shoulders. A humorous but knowing smirk creeps along the edges of my lips. "Think he slept in?" "I fucking hope not." Tanner huffs, his tone suggesting he's half-joking. "He is literally /the/ male lead. He's like one of the people I need there the most today."
I put the GPS back up on the screen and lay back against the passenger seat, slightly raising a brow to myself. What would happen if he's late, or doesn't show up at all? Could we even get a replacement in time? We only booked this place for the next couple weeks.
As we get off the highway and get even closer to our destination, I see a notification pop up on Tanner's phone, it's the name I don't recognize. Ted. He's not in our friend group and I don't recall Tanner mentioning him from class.
"Is Ted a new guy?" I ask, turning my head to Tanner. "Oh, no, he's like...a friend of a friend." Tanner pauses before reiterating "He's going to be the editor. He's a youtuber, like you; he went to film school as well."
"Oh. He's like the only name I didn't recognize."
"Yeah, he's a cool guy, no worries, he'll probably be there with me to help with the, yknow, directing too."
There's room for a response, but I don't continue the conversation. We don't have a lot of money to put into this, so that airBnb is also where we'll be filming everything. Most of the film crew and extra actors got their own accommodations elsewhere, but some of us will be staying /at that/ location itself. Wonder if that includes the editor? It'd be weird to share a house with a dude I didn't know, but if Tanner trusts him, I will as well. "I know where to go from here, let everyone know we'll be there soon."
I take Tanner's phone and let everyone know we're close by, including Ted, before setting the phone aside. Tanner pulls into what I thought was a street at first, only to notice its the driveway of the airbnb. Wild how we can't afford multiple sets and hotels, but can afford this villa-like estate for nearly a month. Hey, whatever works, right?
Tanner parks by the many other vehicles and grabs his phone before we both hop out. I can't help but look up at how tall the building is. It looks like one of those frat houses an influencer would own, like if you told me this was owned by fuckin' 'disney channel flow' Team 10, I would 100% believe you.
Tanner and I are greeted by most of the cast and crew as we approach the front door of the house, giving the appropriate hugs and handshakes as we head inside. That's when I spotted a tall man in a dark green sweater fixing up some professional looking cameras, dark hair slicked up to add to his already impressive height, with circular glasses to match the relaxed vibe I'm getting from him. To be fair, he only stands out so much to me because I don't recognize him. This must be Ted.
He looks up from his camera when he spots Tanner and I greeting the other crew members. I casually glance away to one of the pictures on the wall to avoid giving the impression I was staring. I have a habit of fixing my eyes onto people without realizing it.
"Traffic?" Is the first word I hear out of Ted's mouth, directed at Tanner. I don't really know what I was expecting to hear come out of this man, but it certainly wasn't a voice like that. It's strong, deep, almost fake sounding, like he's already playing a character, but no, that's just him.
"Dude, we passed by, like, 3 accidents" Tanner shakes his head slightly, putting his hands on his hips. "And Conner hasn't even gotten back to me, It's been an interesting morning."
As they have their conversation, my thoughts turn to a more curious nature as I contemplate what this guy actually does as a youtuber. If he went to film school as well, does he make long video essays? Commentary, like me?
"This is (Y/N), mine and Joe's friend." My thoughts are cut by the sound of my name, realizing Tanner was introducing me to Ted. Makes sense. We don't know each other. "She's gonna be the female lead."
"Ahhh okay, nice to finally meet you. I'm Ted." Ted personally greets me with a gentle handshake and a winning complexion. I return the handshake with a shy smile. "'Finally'?" I repeat to him, raising a slight brow.
"Yeah! Joe's told me about you, 'said you'd be shorter"
A sudden chuckle escapes me. Joe's my best friend and is part of the wardrobe team, of course he'd say something like that. "He's a dick.." I kid, shaking my head to myself. "You, on the other hand, are a fuckin' giant."
"Oh I know. I have to fuckin' duck down to get into any room upstairs. Tallhood ain't what its cut out to be" We both get a laugh out before Ted returns to setting up the cameras. I notice Tanner checking his phone again, visibly both anxious and frustrated.
"Man." Tanner speaks, seemingly thinking aloud. "Still nothing." "Isn't he the other lead?" Ted speaks as he moves to adjust the stand of one of the lights, glancing up through his round glasses. "I figured he'd be here first."
"He should've been here first." Tanner huffs, masking his clear frustration with a chuckle. "I-I don't know what I'm gonna do if he just doesn't show." "What would we have to do?" I tilt my head at Tanner, feeling a little anxious myself.
"I have no idea, honestly" Tanner responds, shaking his head. "At best, we'd have to find someone to take his place within the next, like, couple days. At worst, I'd have to cancel this whole thing."
I frown, trying to think of some helpful alternative in my head, but nothing comes up. I'd hate for everyone to have to go home, and getting the money back for the airbnb would be a hassle. We all pitched in for this place. As much as I've joked about it, it's pretty nice. 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, half the place is a giant living room and there's even more outside. I'd hate to leave without getting to sleep in one of those giant beds. All I can do is hope for the best, I guess.
About an hour passes. At this point, everyone except Conner has shown up on set and most of us that will be on camera are fitted and ready. We had already read through the entire script together over Discord prior to getting here, so all we need to do is just start filming.
I'm refreshing my memory with the script when I hear a notification ping from Tanner's phone. It takes him less than a second to pick it up and look at the message, pausing to read it. I see his expression go from relief to uneasy, his thumbs tapping on his phone's keyboard louder than usual as he responds before setting his phone down and taking a deep breath.
"Conner can't make it."
Silence fills the room for a moment as everyone looks up from their tasks. I approach Tanner, script still on hand.
"What? What does he mean he can't make it?" I asked, honestly shocked with what I was hearing. "So, yknow how he's just...not been responding since we left?" Tanner asks, looking understandably annoyed.
"Yeah?"
"Apparently he ate some bad food last night and has been throwing up since 4am. We left at 5."
The only thing I can do is run my fingers through my hair in frustration. Dude probably ordered bad chicken or something. Of course. "So our main dude, THE male leading role or whatever, has food poisoning." I say that as a statement, but I'm honestly just so confused, I don't want to believe it. "What do we do now? Could we hire someone else in time?" "Even if we could, we wouldn't have time to get the chemistry built up between you two." Tanner shrugs. "There'd be no way of knowing if it'll work out."
"I'll do it."
Tanner and I turn our heads to Ted, who's joined in on the conversation shortly after assembling the last light. My first instinct is to let out a sigh of relief, but I steel myself, trying to really process what he's offering.
"You? You wanna be the male lead?" Tanner points at Ted, rather surprised he'd offer. Ted seemed to laugh at the expression on Tanner's face "What's that fuckin' look for? You think I can't be romantic, Tanner?" "No--" Tanner cackles, putting his palms up defensively as he laughed. "That's not it! I just-- you haven't read the script, and, yknow..." Tanner pauses, shrugging his shoulders and tilting his head in my direction. "You two just met, you'll have to, yknow--"
"'Yknow? Yknow?' I KNOW, Tanner. I. know." Ted begins to mock Tanner in a friendly manner while pointing at himself, his strong voice easily overpowering Tanner's timid tone. "I've been doin' this since you were in little baby diapers, alright? I can read the script, I can kiss the pretty lady, I got this!"
I suddenly feel a whole lot warmer, resisting the urge to put a hand to my cheek. I mean, I have blush on already, but now I'm definitely blushing. I'll have to kiss this guy?
I mean.
That ain't a bad thing.
That's a nice lookin' dude. I'd be blind not to see it.
But I did just meet him.
"I mean...." Tanner seems to be at a loss for words, glancing in my direction once more. I realize I've been one of the main talking pieces of this conversation, yet I haven't spoken a word. "Ah--I.." I stammer out what was meant to be a coherent response, realizing I'm a bit more sheepish about this than I thought I'd be. He called me pretty. I...don't know what to do with that. I can handle a compliment, sure, but this was...
"Hey, sorry, I don't wanna step over any lines..." Ted's smile faded after my lack of a response, resting his hands behind his back. "Oh no! I-I wouldn't mind it at all." I finally managed to speak up. I swear, I felt like a bashful damsel in those old transatlantic-accent films. "I mean, like, better this than sending everyone packing early, right?"
"Real flattering." Ted responded with a renewed smile and a chuckle, getting another sheepish blush from me. "Whatever works for everyone, I'm down for it."
Based on Tanner's knowing expression, I can tell he gathered something of use from whatever that exchange was. "I mean..." Tanner repeats again, as if to remind us he's also there with filler words before taking in a sharp breath of realization, or maybe it was one of acceptance, I couldn't tell. Either way, he had an idea. "OK, how about this: most of the crew didn't get breakfast on the way up here and we're all gettin' pretty hungry, we could use some caffeine. How about you two head back out and get everyone something from Dunkin' or wherever? Get talkin', see if it works."
"You setting us up on a breakfast run, or a date?" I collect myself fast enough to make a joke, actually getting a decent chuckle out of Ted. Part of me couldn't believe I had even made that joke aloud, I was also kind of genuinely asking. "I am testing the chemistry." Tanner clarified slowly with a half smile. "And I...don't want to do it myself."
Ted and I look at each other, giving me a brief moment to realize Ted's eyes are brown. Don't know why I've chosen to collect that information now. Just another observation I've made for the day.
...Man, I'm hungry.
"Alright, but I'm not driving your car." I agree with a shrug. "No need, I got my Tacoma." Ted responds, making a clicking noise with his mouth and gesturing me to follow him outside.
"You...have your city in Washington?" I ask genuinely, getting another laugh out of him, not intentionally this time. "Toyota Tacoma. My truck." He corrects me, guiding me to an old dark green pick-up truck. "I've had this baby since high school. Graduated with it."
"Ahh, your high school sweetheart. Lovely. Happy to meet her."
"Fuck off" Ted jokingly scoffs, hopping into the drivers seat. I have this big grin on my face as I get into the passenger side. He's giving me this...oddly comforting vibe. I can talk and joke with this guy so naturally, like I've known him for longer than an hour.
Somehow, I get the feeling we'll get along just fine, even if I'll end up having to kiss him once or twice this month....
....That's got me thinking, how many times am I kissing this guy again?
__________________________________
|| Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (smut) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 (smut) || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 (smut) || Chapter 15 || Chapter 16 || Chapter 17 || Chapter 18 (smut) || Chapter 19 ||
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How do you manage to find so many good references to use for neath fashion???
I am like really. really into historical fashion, and focused my knowledge on the time period and local of flondon so im often like. looking up a lot of images of historical clothing in my spare time. Fallen london takes place in 1899, so i focus my search primarily between 1894-1905, with some wiggle room here or there.
Pinterest is a really great source if you know how to look [and yknow its not like. clothing from 1890s has copyright lmao. 90% of historical fashion plates are public domain], and theres a whole bunch of actual clothing catalogues from the time period digitalized on some websites, if you want to look through them. theres also some pages here on tumblr and other social media dedicated to historical fashion. There's also some people who do recreation of historical clothing, esp on youtube, which can be really helpful to understanding the making of and the different layers!
and then i just... base my designs off of those! once you know the rules of the time periods fashion, you can then bend and break them as you see fit.
i could link some good resources if youre interested XD down to specifics, im a decent place to ask, heh
#historical fashion is a special interest of mine :}#and clothing hot#but yea! it takes a bit of work to know where to look but! once u get the hang of it. refs are pretty easy#the harder part is if youre lookin for references of clothing folds on like. fat people and such. but i do know a few plus size recreators#which is very very helpful#anyway i am. liable to ramble on this topic <3 its my fave#asks
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Ah maybe that means i should try bed again 😅 4am here. I tried a few hrs ago but it was rough. But the day is over. I could just sleep and try again tmrw :/
Hey ur bio made me cry lol /pos i hope ur feeling ok and mood stabilization is blessed to us all
I appreciate you so much! Please don’t cry 🫶🏻 I’m managing, same as the rest of us! Sending you love!
Pro tip: take it all one day at a time.
#getting on tumblr again as like an adult#w like Diagnoses™️#(and also undiagnosed things yknow)#and meeting ppl who like#Get It#its very healing#especially as a DID system who as child and teen alters#bc like we were here as a bio teen we were not on these specific blogs#but HERE#and some of yall were just here the whole time 😭😭#but also i really cherish every one of u that make me feel seen just by existing#trying to find peace and health#ideation tw coming up#i’ve been really su*cidal lately#for like. so long.#its definitely getting harder every day#and so like this might sound weird#but i like ur bio so much bc like??? thats REAL#and u know that BPD Feel™️ where ur like ‘yeah im makin this up yeah i need to shut#up’#that kind of like eased that a bit#it reminded me like. this is fucking real yknow. this is REAL.#ppl like us dont live past fucking 35!!!!! I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THWY AND IM BEING ACTIVELY TREATWD#thats ridiculous#ok sry for the like million tag notes 💀
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