#also nooo he had to share his party hats :((((

[merethessc]

can i spam post? Please???

first part ig

[petitelepus]

25 Days of MTMTE Christmas, Part 25, Christmas Sweater

It’s Christmas Eve on Lost Light and everyone is all dressed up.

Merry Christmas everyone! I understand that this has been a hectic year and there are people who can’t celebrate Christmas like they would like to because of the Coronavirus so I hope that ‘25 Days of MTMTE Christmas’ has been lightening your dark nights and made you smile even the tiniest bit.

I want to thank my beloved friend @missykitty​! She read every single chapter and edited them, gave me inspiration, corrected my spelling and choice of words because English isn’t my first language or even second. She made this story possible.

I want to also thank you all for reading and enjoying my stories. I write to bring joy to people and I have been extra diligent this year. I wish you all Merry Christmas and thank you for being so strong.

You loved the holidays! You always had. Christmas was the time of joy and celebration with loved ones. The exact things that you were missing from Earth. Here in space, in a whole other galaxy, you had found a new family. Your found family made sure that you had everything you ever needed or desired, and you loved them back with your whole heart. But none of them celebrated Christmas, so you felt lonesome and nostalgic for your Christmas traditions. You rode your hover scooter through the empty halls before arriving at the mess hall for dinner. It was a bit depressing that your Christmas dinner would be the same as any other day. You were shocked out of your thoughts when you realized that the mess hall was deserted. Where was everyone? You looked around in confusion. Usually, the hall would be filled with hungry Autobots around the clock, but now the place looked abandoned. You felt even more depressed at the thought of eating your Christmas dinner all alone. You despondently made your way to your usual spot. Your eyes widened in surprise at the sight of a handwritten note on the table. 'Come to the meeting room!' They didn’t forget about you after all! Aww, how sweet they were. You were curious about what they had planned for today. You couldn't help but smile excitedly as you picked up the note and left to go where you were instructed. You arrived at the door. You could hear voices coming from inside. Was everyone there just waiting for you? You smiled to yourself. You left your scooter at the side of the door, and pressed the buzzer. The voices inside halted instantly. You put in the code and entered. You were surprised to see that it was pitch black in the room. You clapped your hands to activate the lights. What you saw took your breath away. "Merry Christmas!" Everybody cheered. You were stunned at the sight. You were expecting to see your Cybertronian friends, but instead the room was filled with humans. Humans you didn't know. You weren't that good with people back on Earth, so just how bad you were going to be with them in space? You were about to bolt, but this short stocky man approached you. He was wearing blue shield-style sunglasses. Oh God, he had a Christmas sweater on. A bright red sweater that read 'He Sees You When You're Drinking' in white bold letters. You stared at his sweater. You absolutely adored so-called ‘Ugly Christmas Sweaters’. You didn't even know why for sure, but they were funny and quirky. You made it a tradition to check secondhand stores for rejected Christmas sweaters. When you were younger, you were teased for wearing them. Then they became popular, and even your former bullies started wearing them to ‘Ugly Christmas Sweater’ parties. You were annoyed about that, but at least now you could share your love of tacky things with others. "Hi, yes, we are happy you made it!" The man said happily in a voice you knew. You blinked. "Swerve, is that you?" "Yeah, it's me! Everyone is here also!" He said happily. He stepped closer to you. "It was mine and Rewind's idea to use our human avatars to make you feel at home. How do you like it?" Well, you were speechless and taken aback at how sweet their intentions were. You smiled and were about to answer the bartender, but then your eyes landed on him. "OhmyGod!OhmyGod! Oh! My! God!" You squealed. You quickly covered your mouth when you realized just how loud you were being. "I can't, I just can't...!" "What?? What is it?!" Swerve asked in a panic, fearing that he and others had messed up somehow and offended you. But you didn't respond. You ran straight to this tall woman wearing a beautiful purple Victorian-style dress. But it wasn't her you were squealing for. It was a toddler wearing a blue polar bear sweater with an actual crystal blue pacifier clipped to the material. The little guy even had blue sunglasses similar to Swerve’s. "E-Excuse me, Ma’am, bu-but could I hold your baby?" You asked barely keeping your composure as you looked at the little guy. The woman smiled slightly, and… Oh no, she was hot. She lifted the toddler out of the baby carrier on her chest, and offered him to you. "Hold him carefully,” she said.

You nodded as you took the toddler from her arms and pulled him close.

"Oh my God, you're so cute! Where have you been hiding all my life, you little cutie pie?"

Okay, you were totally baby-talking to the cutest child you may have ever seen. Your voice had probably raised an octave, and you weren’t worried about controlling the volume of your voice anymore. Maybe you sounded ridiculous, but your heart was mush and you had no shame.

"I'm not a baby, or whatever it is!" The child suddenly exclaimed. You blinked in surprise. You looked at the child carefully, and saw a light blue ‘T’ on the child's adorable sailor hat. And that voice...!

"Tailgate? Is that you?" You asked.

The child nodded. "Yes!"

"Oh, Tailgate..." You sighed in joyful surprise. Then you smiled even wider before hugging the mini-human. "You're so freaking cute!"

"Nooo…! I'm ferocious!" Tailgate cried.

You turned to look at the tall woman that had been holding Tailgate before. "Cyclonus?"

"That would be me,” she, no, he said. "You look amazing,” you said. "Thank you." You gave Tailgate back to Cyclonus, then turned to gaze at the rest of the holoforms mingling in the room. One by one, you recognized familiar features in these human forms. You jumped over to a tall young man, with a dark flame tattooed arm, wild auburn hair, and a handsome smile. He was wearing a short-sleeved sweater that read 'You Can Get On My Naughty List Anytime'. You grinned. "Rodimus! You look great! Very hot!" You joked, winking at him. "I know.” You giggled as Rodimus licked the tip of his digit and then pressed it to his hip, making a hissing noise. You turned to see a young lady wearing a dark blue sweater with so much text on it that you had to squint to see what was written there. 'Santa Saw Your Facebook Pictures, You're Getting Clothes And A Bible For Christmas'. Ouch. Only one mech would approve of a shirt like that. "Ultra Magnus, sir? Is that you?" You asked. The woman holoform nodded. You grinned and pointed at his sweater. "That sweater looks good on you." "Thank you. Although, I have no clue what this ‘Facebook’ is. I presume that it's a device or program that keeps records of criminals and persons of interest. That sounds like a good idea to me." You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing. Instead, you clapped. "Wonderful sweater. Truly." You moved on to the next mech and--Oh! Who was this big silver fox standing before you, tall and proud in a sweater that had 'Naughty' and 'Nice' with checkboxes in front of each… but the checkbox in front of 'I Tried' was the one that was check-marked. You barely paid any attention to the text, rather watching how the sweater was stretched across his broad chest and muscled biceps... "It's Megatron,” Rodimus butted in from behind you. You nodded mindlessly, almost in a trance as you ogled the former criminal. DAMN! IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO BE THAT SEXY. The old man sighed, misinterpreting your look. "I was persuaded to use my avatar, and get some kind of ugly clothing that humans wear." "Megatron...! Wow…” you said, blinking like a deer in headlights. "Like WOW." "Yeah, yeah, we get it. So he is handsome for a human! So what!" Someone yelled. You glanced over your shoulder, and saw the most badass looking teen girl you had ever seen. She had long blue hair in pigtails, and an eyepatch over the left eye... "Whirl?!" You accidentally shouted. The girl, no, Whirl stopped pushing you away from Megatron. He struck a pose to show off to you. "Yeah, it is I, fleshie. Admit it - I look badass,” he said. You took in his dark blue sweater that read: 'Dear Santa, Define Naughty'. "I had spiked knee guards also, but Magnus said they were too much,” Whirl complained. You snorted. "What a tragedy." Whirl said some colorful words to you, but you laughed it off. You turned away, and came face-to-face with two men, one tall and dark-haired, and the other short and blond. You blinked and tilted your head, wondering who they could be. Then you noticed the camera in the blond man's hands. "Rewind! And Chromedome!" You exclaimed. They smiled at you in response. "How did you figure it out?" Chromedome asked. "Rewind's camera. Also, your matching sweaters." You laughed and pointed at their sweaters. Chromedome's said 'World's Okayest Elf' and Rewind's read 'I'm Not Short I'm Just A Tall Elf'. You smiled at them before moving through the crowd again, until you saw a man with glasses and carrot-red hair. He was certainly smart looking. You knew a few smart mechs, but you were sure you knew which one this was. "Rung! You look amazing!" The distinguished-looking man before you smiled and confirmed your guess to be right. Honestly? You would tap that ass. His sweater read: 'Santa Loves A Hot Cookie'. You giggled lightly. Then you noticed two smokin’ hot ladies that you recognized as Nautica and Velocity, and two hot men talking with them, likely Brainstorm and Perceptor. Nautica's sweater was bright purple and read: 'But First Let Me Take An #elfie'. Velocity's had a cat on it and read: 'Happy Hannukkat'. Brainstorm’s read: 'Santa Is Real In At Least 370 Alternate Realities'. And Perceptor...! Oh, Percy must have lost a bet or something, because he had a sweater that read: 'I Am Your Present', and there was an arrow that happened to be pointing at Brainstorm at any given moment. Finally, the last pair. You smiled when you saw them. Drift was a handsome young man with ink black hair. Ratchet was a scruffy-bearded man whose hair and beard were red streaked with white. Drift was wearing a sweater that said: 'While You Were Decorating The House I Studied The Blade'. Ratchet's sweater had a huge picture of Grumpy Cat that simply said 'NO'. You slowly made your way through the crowded room, making sure to say hello to everybot present. Besides being polite, you just had to check out all of the ‘Ugly Christmas Sweaters’. They were all amazing! You had never seen so many ‘Ugly Christmas Sweaters’ in one place! More than that, they all had been thinking about you, and how you might be missing human company. Just seeing them all gathered together made you feel like you were back on Earth for Christmas, surrounded by family and friends. You nearly cried at the thought. "Um, can I have everyone's attention?" You said, trying to raise your voice loud enough to fill the room. Every bot in a human disguise turned to look at you. You coughed awkwardly into your fist, then smiled tremulously, trying not to cry. "I just wanted to thank you all. For the amazing surprise. I love all of your sweaters – you all look great. You all are like a family to me, and I hope you feel the same way." Everyone cheered loudly. You blushed in embarrassment, but then Swerve rushed up to you, with Rung following closely behind in a more subdued manner. You smiled at both of them. "Thank you so much, you guys. I couldn't dream of a better surprise." "Oh, but this is just the beginning," Rung said with a mysterious smile. You blinked in confusion. "What?" "We just needed to buy some time while Lug and Anode finished at my place!" Swerve said. Lug and Anode…! You hadn’t seen them here at all! How could you have forgotten them?! Then Swerve took your hand in his to lead you to the next surprise. Everyone followed behind, laughing and whispering behind your back. When you entered Swerve’s, you could barely believe what you saw. Christmas decorations everywhere, gleaming and shining! You could even smell something delicious wafting in the air. "Don't tell me you cooked?" You asked in shocked disbelief. Just as you finished speaking, Lug and Anode came from the bar's backroom with their servos holding trays heaped with different Earth foods traditional for Christmas. There were also energon treats for your Cybertronian friends. Just when you were sure the party couldn't get any better, somebody put Christmas music on to play. You turned to look at the bots standing all around you. "Is it-Is it okay to eat?" Everyone gave you a clear go-ahead, so you began to take helpings of everything so as not to disappoint any of your friends that had worked so hard. Surprisingly, they had nailed it for most of the foods. Though the cranberry sauce was accidentally made with cherries, and the chocolate mousse was too sweet, they were still delicious. When you couldn’t eat any more, you thought that the good time would end there… but you thought wrong. Somehow Swerve had gotten his servos on the Cybertronian equivalent of a karaoke machine. Brainstorm and Perceptor had its files updated with all of the top hits from Earth. There were over 1,000 songs per country, so you had an overwhelming number of options. Some Christmas songs, both classic and new, were included as well. To start, Rodimus rocked the song 'The Phoenix' by Fall Out Boy. With that magnificent show of talent, charisma, and showmanship, others were then itching to get a turn of their own. Nautica, Velocity, and Rewind sang 'Bubblegum Bitch' together. Ultra Magnus sang 'It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas'. You insisted on singing a song called 'Do It For Her/Him' from Steven Universe with Cyclonus. The purple mech thought it was silly to sing a song from a human cartoon, but when he sang, he gave Tailgate meaningful looks. And you? You might have winked Megatron's way a couple of times. You were really enjoying yourself - the party was amazing. It was everything that you could have hoped for. Nothing could top this. Or so you thought, until you were asked to close your eyes and hold your arms out. "Guys, you aren't going to prank me, or do anything to me that will end up on Youtube??" You asked nervously. You heard a snicker from Rewind. "Don't worry! We won't!" "I can hear that camera rolling, Rewind!" You snapped. You jumped when something was placed in your hands. "Open your eyes." You opened one eye at first, then the other. You couldn't believe it. It was a sweater, unbelievingly soft, knitted in your favorite colors. Even better, in the middle of the oversized sweater was a large red Autobot symbol. You stared at it, eyes wide. When you finally raised your head, you had tears in your eyes. "Y-You're giving this to me?" "We had to pull some strings, and call in some favors, but yes." Rodimus smiled as bright as the sun from back home. "You're officially an Autobot now." You couldn't hold back your tears anymore. There was no greater honor than to be admitted to the Autobot order. You started to cry, but the tears were those of pure joy. You sniffled and wiped your face before looking at your dear friends. "C-Can I put it on?" They nodded, and you wasted no time. You pulled the sweater over your head, and then smoothed down your hair. The sweater was a few sizes bigger than your usual size, but that only made it comfier. You smiled, and almost wiped your nose on the sleeve, but you stopped yourself and instead used a napkin. "It's both the ugliest pretty sweater and the prettiest ugly sweater I have ever seen. I love it,” you admitted, your voice wobbly. Your fellow Autobots all said ‘Awww!’ at your emotional display. You opened your arms wide and waiting, and the bots got the idea. They all closed in for a group hug, lifting you off of your feet. You were surrounded by those you loved dearly, and you didn’t regret leaving Earth for a second. "Merry Christmas!" You all cheered, echoing each other.

[jeawrites]

BBS Derby AU: Important Others

The final bits of fun facts and some info for this AU! I might start writing an actual story here in a bit too, so look out for that!

Anthony-

Nicknamed by the team Jiggly Panda. 

He’s the coach, not even that strict of one but he is very committed. 

He owns the skate park the team practices at! He was also the one to pitch the idea of starting a derby team to his most regular skater (and really good friend) Tyler.

The team loves him, they will fight for him. And, he will fight for them (even though he’d rather not).

He’s the one who convinced Evan to join. 

“It’s just like hockey- except no ice, no sticks or pucks, and you go in a circle the whole time!”

Used to play when he was younger (that’s how he met Brock).

Very competitive when it comes to important bouts. Don’t question him.

The team got him and Brock customized varsity jackets with their respective names on the back and the team’s logo on the front. He nearly cried when he got it.

His laugh is just as noticeable as Jon’s, but his rage is a lot more iconic when its seen. He has broken clip boards. 

He wears a panda hat to every bout, it’s his own symbol for the team. They all love it a lot more than they say they do.

Brock- 

Moo Snuckle, he had the name back when he played for his old team (he thought it was funny then but now its just a little embarrassing). Everyone just calls him Moo.

He’s the bench coach! He helps sort out everyone on who’s going out onto the track and whatnot. If it’s not a bout, he’s usually just the assistant coach. 

Was brought onto the team by Anthony- he got a facebook message late one night.

‘Wanna help coach a bunch of dumbasses with my dumbass?’

He’s really patient with them all. Helps calm down people if they start to get frustrated. Most infamously, he calmed Tyler down after he threw his helmet off and broke it. It took him five minutes and a shit ton of crappy puns.

Brings in extra water for everyone during bouts, makes sure everyone eats before they practice (messages them an hour and a half before hand so they can snack on something healthy).

There's a joke running through the team about him and getting angry. It’s mostly just comparing him to a werewolf. 

On that note, it takes a lot to make Brock angry, so the moment he snaps it’s usually pretty unsettling and you know you’ve screwed up then.

He only got that way once when it was really noticeable, and it was during a bout when the refs weren’t making any correct calls (Joe and Mark excluded because they couldn’t make it that night- Joe was sick and Mark was making sure he was okay).

He actually sobbed for ten minutes after getting his jacket. He wears it to every bout.

Everytime they move up a rank in the charts Brock takes the team to dinner. He insists he can cover the pay, but everyone usually tips in anyways.

Brings extra face paint, duct tape, wheels, and other needs to bouts as a just in case.

Jaren-

Smitty!

He’s the local EMT. Goes to every bout to cover the injuries. 

Was the first one to make fun of Jon for fracturing his wrist.

Nobody actually knows where he learned to be a medical professional, but nobody really questions it either. 

He supports the team a lot, has actually come to a few practices to just watch and hang out with them all. He’s also gone to away bouts whenever he can.

Like’s to heckle the team jokingly, though he has gotten smacked a few times by Marcel and Ryan (not hard of course).

He’s actually really fun to have around too, makes a lot of good jokes and he is scarily good at timing shit. He’s helped them all at practices with that talent. He’s also pranked the entire team at least once with it.

Him and Evan both sort of bonded over being Canadian. Jiggly introduced them to each other as “fellow penguins”.

“My name’s Jaren, how aboot you, eh?”

“Evan, nice to meet you, eh.”

They both shared a few pieces about their old homes and then just sort of became friends. They both act like children sometimes though if kept in the same place together too long.

Him and Jon actually get along really well! Both of them like making weird jokes and acting out dramatic scenes. 

“And with this last breath, I die!” 

“Pfft- Del, oh my god, okay- Nooo!! My one true love, died to an evil oposer--- I curse you Evan for knocking my love out of play!”

The team either finds it really entertaining or really weird. Jaren was kicked out of a practice one time due to one of his and Jon’s acts, if that says anything.

Mark-

Gorillaphent!

He grew up with Luke and Jon, so of course they dragged him out to watch the sport once.

He really liked it, but he didn’t want to play it. But, the reffing seemed fun and with some encouragement he became the Banana Quads first ref! 

On Halloween they have a scrimmage where he wears this ugly purple elephant trunk that he got from somewhere. Nobody wants to question it because people know thats what he wants.

Eventually Ohm gives in and questions it and he gets called on a cut he never made later that game and forced into the penalty box. It happens five more times and then Ohm is paranoid the rest of the night.

“Gorilla, please!! I did nothing wrong--”

“Are you talking back to a ref, Ohm?”

He’s kinda evil, in short.

Not really, he’s actually pretty chill, he just thought that whole ordeal would be funny (and it kind of was).

He’s unbelievably good at making calls. He’s rumoured to have eyes in the back of his head, but he’s actually just pretty observant. 

He’s also pretty smart on top of that, so he can sort of tell when he’s going to need to make a specific call before it happens thanks to careful observing and knowledge. 

He has a purple helmet with only two stickers, one being an elephant, the other being a sticker of his name made like a logo.

Him and Joe bully each other on a regular basis, do not interfere or you will get dragged in and become part of whatever war they may or may not be in. Its all fun and games until the two are dumping baby powder on your head.

Joe-

Dead Squirrel (he used to play for, like, a year, but that was his name for it).

He met Mark, Jon, Luke, and Ryan a year before the derby stuff started.

Was dragged onto the team by Gorilla, but he found it really fun to meet new people and the traveling wasn’t half bad! Plus, he really enjoys chasing after the Jammers, especially if his in the lead. 

He wears makeup to bouts- it looks like his head’s missing a peace and a cartoonish brain is coming out (cartoonish meaning there’s not too much effort in it- not that its actually cartoonish).

Also oddly good at making calls when he’s supposed too. He catches some others might not.

He doesn’t ever get really mad, maybe over excited for the bouts. He’s never yelling out of anger though.

Luke and Gorilla are pretty protective over him. Joe’s a little more oblivious to when people are being flirty or a little too polite (he doesn’t want to be rude sometimes and tell them he’s uncomfortable, especially if he might be misreading things) that’s why his two tough derby buddies come in and save the day. 

It doesn’t happen often, just once or twice a year.

He’s loyal to the team, but holds no bias when it comes to making calls. If that’s questioned the team will prove it. (Joe has been offered a few bribes once or twice but his opinion on it remains unmoved and he remains as unbiased as possible). 

“Alright, I’m sayin’ it again. I am not, not going to call you out for back blocks, Marcel, quit trying to convince me and just try to not get back blocks.”

He’s the one who dumps the baby powder on people’s heads. He carries it around with him because its helps keep his bag smelling good, and it makes his skin soft. 

He and Brian are the only two who care if their equipment stinks. He usually supplies Brian with his own little thing of baby powder whenever its needed. 

John-

Mostly their as either an NSO or a fan. If its a home bout he’s usually an NSO. 

He works the score board when he’s an NSO. When he’s a fan, he’s cheering on the team excitedly or hanging out with Jaren on the side. 

He’s really laid back until he’s yelling at the team in excitement. 

“Yeah! Kick their asses ohm, you’re doing great!”

Ryan tried to get him on the team, along with Scotty and Tyler, but they were all denied. 

He does go skating with them on open skate nights though. He just prefers to keep it more casual than competitive. 

The team all chipped in to get him some custom ring with the team's name carved into it and a new vape. It was a present to him for being their number one fan.

He really liked the gift, wouldn’t stop smiling the rest of that day. 

Got an honorary jersey with the name Kryoz (he got to pick it). He wears it to every bout he’s a fan at.

He’s the one who suggests they throw an end of season party to celebrate everything they did that year. He’s also the one who gets stuck planning it out sense he made the idea, but he does convince Ryan, Tyler, Marcel, and Anthony to help out.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #259

"i went straight to heaven, but i kept on knockin’.”

What's something that makes you feel more creative? Music. What are the last three nail polish colors you wore? Wow, idk the last time I wore nail polish, but probably black or maroon. What's the last thing you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. Do you watch youtube videos or tv shows more? YouTube is essentially my TV. Quite literally - I don't have a television in my room because I never watch it. What's a DIY project that you don't think actually works? Oh dude, plenty. I have DIY-obsessed friends online as well as a Pinterest, I know this shit, lmao. I can name one though with total certainty because I was with a friend when she tried that disgusting "YOU CAN MAKE cuPCAkES IN A C uP!!!!!" crap. It's the most eggy shit you'll ever try. Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? No, but I think those crafts are generally super cute. Have you ever gotten rid of something and then regretted it? If so, what? (or what's one thing?) Oh yeah, one of my biggest being my senior prom pictures, but not for the reason you'd expect (save for two pictures of us that're just REALLY fuckin cute): I want them back because goddamn I was pretty ok and I miss that now that I hate my body every waking moment of every day. :^) What color is the zip-up hoodie you wear the most? Don't have one w/ a zipper, they're ugly. Do you live in an apartment that has inspections? No. Do you hate taking naps during the day? Nooo I love naps and usually take one a day. I tend to feel really tired all over again a few hours or so after I wake up. Who in your immediate family has the best natural hair? MEEEEEEEEEEEE. Would you ever audition for American Idol? Hell no. Do you know anyone who thinks they're more talented than they are? Lol wow, this is mean. I don't think so. Do you buy gum? Rarely, even though I like it. What's your favorite dollar store?  I don’t have a favorite, I'd say? But I think we normally go to Dollar General. How many cell phones have you had in your lifetime? Maybe like, six? Have you ever been inside a Victorian mansion? BITCH I WISH!!!!!!!!!!!! I would kill to get married in one, omfGGGGGGGGGGG. What was the most boring field trip you ever want on? I don't remember a bad one. I loved going on field trips. The last time you went, what were your favorite rides at Cedar Point? I’ve never been. Which country would you most like to visit? Eeeeek idk, but probably South Africa. What are your favorite types of videos to watch on YouTube? What I watch on YouTube has become pretty diverse, but I know my favorites are easily Mark's actual big projects w/ egos 'n shit alksjdflk;w gOOD SHIT MY FRIENDS. I still love let's plays, of course! Are you a hoarder? No. Is there a guy (or girl) that you wish things had worked out with? Yes. If you were to start a collection, what would it be? I'd loooove Shadow of the Colossus stuff, particularly the amazing figures they used to have only in Japan. And World of Warcraft stuff; all I have rn is an Illidan poster and a fae dragon plushy hanging from my ceiling that Jason got me. If you were rich, what things would you get done cosmetically? Mother of god, a lot. #1, make me skinny again for the love of fuck. Which would result in loose skin being taken off and probably a breast lift because being overweight ruined my comfort with them laskdjfw. Whiten my teeth and give me laser hair removal surgery on my legs, please. Are your parents too controlling? Not at all. Who is your favorite fictitious redhead? VOL'JIN Blizzard what the FUCK give him BACK What shows have you seen on Broadway? None. Who is the prettiest Asian YouTuber that you can think of? Bitch Mark is Korean and he's gorgeous as fuck goddamn it ain't fair. But this is a weird question. What is the best news you've heard lately? When my mom got a follow-up blood test, things looked good!! She especially needed to level out her sugar, which she did well on. She also didn't lose or gain any weight, so that's wonderful. Have you ever flown first class? Hunny I am v poor. Have you ever had food SO bad in a restaurant that you sent it back? I don't believe so, anyway. Do you talk in your sleep? Very regularly now. Have you ever locked yourself out of your house? OOF, yes. Are you the type of person who can shake insults off easily, or do they tend to stick around in your brain & bother you? They stick with me for a long, long time. At least two I remember from years upon years ago. Who was the last person you cut out of your life intentionally? My old therapist that I trusted and loved when I fucking shouldn't have. Where were you raised? By who? Eastern NC, by my parents. What were your first words? "Dada." What were some of your favorite things when you were young? DINOSAURS, Webkinz, Pokemon, and Spyro, to name a few. What did you grow up listening to? Mostly country and pop music. What games did you play in the past? Spyro was my obsession, and I also loved hunting games (ironic, as irl I would never even consider it???) as well as fishing ones, plus Crash Bandicoot. What was the best birthday party you ever had? I'm not sure. How about the best vacation? I'm unsure; I haven't really been on a lot. Do you have any secrets you never intend to tell? Yup. What memory would you like to disappear from your mind forever? A nightmare I had about my dad. If you were someone else, would you be friends with the person you are now? Yeah. Do you consider yourself a smart person? No. What friend in your life has been the greatest influence to you? I don't know. Where is the scariest place you’ve ever been? What made it so terrifying? I shared a bedroom with an EXTREMELY volatile, violent woman once in the mental hospital. As in she had to go in solitary when she had a violent episode, during which she became very destructive to her surroundings, so as you could guess, I was worried about my own wellbeing. She was eventually moved because I was that uncomfortable. Did you celebrate Easter? Are there any holidays you are more inclined to celebrate than others? If so, which? Well, Easter hasn't come yet, but we'll probably go to my sister's house for the kids. We'll celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving without fail. We don't pay much attention to others. I'd LOVE to do something for Halloween, we just never have anywhere to go/anything to do. What was the last thing you deleted? Pictures. What colors make up the majority of your wardrobe? Is there any color you like, but don’t wear often? There's black there. Oh, there's s'more black. What's that???? More bLACK????? MAN, I wish I could pull off pink. When was the last time you were in any amount of pain? I had a pretty intense headache yesterday. Who was the last person to hug you? Do you hug this person often? My niece, and yeah, every time I visit. What are you most likely to argue or debate about? The fact I almost never leave my pajamas lmao. What was the last show you watched? Have you seen it before, or is it something you’re watching for the first time? A few days back, I was reeeaaally bored and actually watched TV deliberately, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?????? It was The Witcher; wasn't bad. I'd be willing to watch more. How would you describe your taste in clothing? What would a dream outfit look like to you? uuuuuggggGHHHHHHHH let me be GOTH. Give me a corsette if they weren't notoriously uncomf with plenty of chains 'n stuff. BIG, SPIKY BOOTS. SKINNY LEATHER PANTS. UUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH. Have you ever tried snowboarding? No. What’s your favorite planet besides Earth? Saturn is dope. Would you ever be a coach for any sport? Nope. What color of eyes do you have? Blue. Do you like tacos? NOOOOOOOOO. White or red wine? Wine is gross. Do you prefer foxes or wolves? Foxes. What’s the youngest you would consider dating? No younger than 21. Do you think suits are sexy? mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Were you a fan of Michael Jackson before he died? I was never really a fan. Respected him immensely as a musician, I just didn't care much about his music. Turkey or ham for Thanksgiving? Ham. Turkey is always too dry and stringy. Do you look good in hats? I wouldn't know, I haven't worn one in forever. Never with short hair. Colons or equal signs for your smiley face's eyes? Colons. Do you like architecture? If so, do you have a favourite style or structure that you’d like to make note? Yes, and I should really have an answer for this, as architecture was a big part in Art History... Ummm Etruscan stands out, and of course Roman/Greek (even after the class I don't remember their differences well...). I love Middle Eastern architecture, too. What is one of your favorite words, in any language, and why? I just love the sound of "serendipity," as well as uhhhh "sakura" in Japanese and "kanji" in Chinese. I'm trying to think of a German one, as there certainly are some, but they're evading me right now. Where is the farthest you’ve travelled on foot? JESUS FUCK probably going to get Sara's brother from school, mother of all that is holy. But it might just feel like it because it was during the peak of my muscle atrophy in my legs. Are there any songs that you perhaps like but avoid because it makes you sad when heard? A good number. Do you like the area that you live in? What do you like or dislike about the area? NO. There's not shit to do and it's not aesthetically pleasing at all. Do you have a memory of when you really thought that you have lucked out on something? If so, what was it? Uhhhhh. A handful, I guess? Oh, uh, the suicide attempt to name one and probably the biggest. I took way too many of those pills to experience almost zero symptoms of an overdose; I did look up what "too many" was, because I wanted that. I'd say I was pretty fuckin lucky. If you have apps on your mobile phone, which one do you use the most? Facebook. Which do you like better: fantasy or science fiction novels? Why? FANTASY!!! I think it allows more creativity and possibilities of something magically "making sense" because yeah, it's fantasy. Science fiction has more "realness" to it, more, obviously, scientific elements versus make-believe. Do you like opossums? Do you think it is ethically right for others to keep opossums as pets? OPOSSUMS!!!!!!!!! ARE!!!!!!!!!! FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're my second-favorite animals kdsja;lkdjaw. BUT ANYWAY, no, unless it's for rescue reasons. When was the last time someone asked you a huge favor or advice? Do you get asked often by this person? Oh I have no idea. Probably my mom? And no, definitely not. She hates asking for help. What are your thoughts on nihilism? I definitely get it, but it's not my personal outlook. Do you like the snow? More like love. What are your thoughts and feelings towards work/jobs in general? I don't know? I've never even had a real, steady job, so it's hard to really answer... I've only had bad experiences. It's kinda weird to me how you have to work your ass off (usually) to get a job you enjoy, as well as slave for some stupid green paper until the day you die just to stay alive and healthy. But at the same time, it offers a sense of fulfilment and is as well something productive and beneficial to the masses to do. Civilization would be very, very different and unadvanced if we were without them, so I guess it is a necessary thing. Humans gotta work together to keep where we're at. Do you believe in astrology? I've never actually elaborated why I don't believe in it so there ya go: not in the slightest. All it does is offer extremely broad characteristics that, in some light, almost anyone can relate to so they feel included in something. We naturally want to "belong" within something as social creatures, and astrology is an easy one with it being so vast. It gives equally indirect advice that can be applied to a multitude of situations, so people just mold what they read to fit their world. Don't base your goddamn life choices on the random positioning of shit in space. What is something that you’ve made/created? Do you take pride in your creations? Well, way way way too many OCs that I do indeed love a hell of a lot. If you have a Tumblr account, do you have any followers that you wish would not follow you? Well I'm sure there are bots. What kind of books do you generally enjoy to read? Fantasy stuff, mostly. But I also love novels with deep meaning, particularly about life in general. A good plot is mandatory. Does the quality of a video, on YouTube or a television, matter to you? I mean of course in some situations, like if I'm watching something educational/something to gain visual knowledge from. What is one situation that may cause you to become shy (if there is any)? Don't don't don't don't don't point out that my serious interests/things I massively love are "weird" like it's been years and I can still barely explain why my biggest tattoo is a tribute to some fuckface on the Internet lmao. When one is depressed, what can a friend do about it? Do you find that there is a good method to approach people in helping them combat depression? It is SO important to, first, ask them what they want. Do they want advice, an ear to just listen, just your presence, to be alone? As for combating depression, that greatly depends on the origin (if any) of theirs. There are so many factors in answering this question, but what I mentioned should, imo, always be the start. Do you tend to listen to music that embraces your mood or does music dictate your mood? Is it a little bit of both? Definitely both. When I'm sad though, I'm almost definitely listening to somber music too. Do you find yourself to be generally a forgiving person? I'm too goddamn forgiving. Do you have an embarrassing memory that you now look back at and can laugh? If so and if you’re comfortable, could you share one here? Omg I have a Bible-length collection of those suckers. I'd prefer not to. What is one skill that you have worked hard to develop? Is there still room for improvement on that skill? Damn, anxiety-coping mechanisms and actually trusting them to help me through attacks. I used to be convinced that they were useless because it just wouldn't work and weren't immediately effective, but you've gooooooot to trust the process, friends. What do you consider to be your main passion(s) and how did they come about? Spreading awareness of the seriousness of mental health and the comfort of knowing there's hope. You can never stop pushing. My own experience with mental health struggles is definitely the deeeep roots of that. Who do you think influenced you the most in your life so far? Why? Jason changed my life in many ways. Trauma does that. He taught me a lot about the necessity of having faith in yourself to survive on your own, a shitload about love and how it's not some fairy tale, and that people change, even those you least expect to. What is something that you have overheard people talk about that really bothered you? I could name more than a few things about race stuff, living where I do. What do you normally say or how do you normally act in response to a compliment? I usually do this shy laugh and say "thank you" with too much enthusiasm. How many books do you own? Do you have more physical books than electronic books? I've no clue where a lot of my old ones are. I have no electronic ones; I strongly prefer to read a physical book. What are your thoughts on higher education? Is it really necessary? In your opinion, what changes can be made? Depending on your aspiring career, it can be necessary, but just as easily, it can be unnecessary. I know for a fucking fact it should not be NEARLY as expensive as it is. Maybe even free, but I have no idea what monetary concerns that could cause with whoever runs the place. Have you ever received a heartfelt compliment from a stranger? Probably at some point. How many people would you consider to be extremely close to you? "Extremely"... like three lmao. Maybe one more or so. When was the last time you had to speak to a crowd? How well did that go? When I was taking pictures at a wedding last. It went okay. How would you describe your general outlook towards humanity? We by no means deserve to be the apex predator and Earth would be a shitload better without us. How long do you think you could last without any contact with your significant other, best friend, or a person whom you consider would be the closest to you? I'll use my mom here, in which case idk. I don't particularly want to find out. I talk to her at LEAST by text daily. Every day now that she can't work/is always home with me. Have you ever realised that someone was lying, but it was too late to confront them? Nope. Eventually speaking up is how I lost her, but.

[stay--satan]

I’m sorry for implying that your dick was too small - Jason Todd x Reader

Can you do number 24 from your prompts with Jason? Thank you very much if you do 💕

# 24 from your prompt list with Wally west please 😂😭 

PROMPT LIST 

24. “This is supposed to be longer” “So was your dick”

"Who on earth takes forty minutes to put coloured powder on their eyes?" "Come here and blend this yourself." you hand a brush to your boyfriend as he rolls his eyes and whispers another curse "I don't rush you with your... 'abilitys', so don't rush mine." Sighting as he walks away, you get back to your business.

Honestly, you didn't know why he was this stressed lately. The sex was good, he has been nailing on patrol, he did even consider going out on a dinner with his family last week. So what's up with him? You did know that he went away for a couple days so Roy could prepare Kory's surprise party tonight, but other than that nothing much.

You left the room messing in your hair and meet Jason in the living room talking on the phone "I told you, I don't want him there" He sounds very mad, you watch him as putting your stuff in your purse "Because he's a fucking asshole and I don't wanna him being aroud us... Well, good If you prefer him being there I'll be just gladly  staying in." Oh no, are you serious? "Well, fine by me!" He yells ending the call throwing his phone away. You just stare at him with wide open eyes. He rubs his hands over his face and stare back at you

"I didn't know you didn't like to share your surroundings" You say back putting your purse on your arm "Do I look good?" "We're not going." Jason says frustrated "We? I'm sorry, am I supposed to miss my best friend's birthday because you don't like other people?" Your voice comes out a little high pitchy but god, you're so mad at him. "It's not other people. It's Conner" He keeps the angry yelling tone and now you're just over the moon with madness. Conner was your... thing? Yeah, thing back when Jay was dead. Yes dead, men can be that dramatic. Alright so Conner gets a little flirty and handsy when you're around but you honestly you couldn't care less because whenever he did it do it, you just came home with your current boyfriend. The one who's all red and angry.

"Are you kidding me?" "No, I'm not. We're staying in because Roy obviously rather be with him" "Oh my God Jason, grow the fuck up." You pick your purse back "So you're going?" "Yes, I'm not gonna miss my best friend's and YOUR partner..." You pointed at him raising your voice "...birthday party over something that happened when you were DEAD." "I knew you didn't dress this up for me" Oh no he didn't. The crazy drunk sex that you were planning for this evening is so over. "Oh good, now you also have trust issues with what I'm wearing? I'll make sure to get your approval next time" "This was supposed to be longer" "WELL, GUESS WHAT" you yell louder than him walking your way to the door "SO WAS YOUR DICK, JASON PETER TODD" you smash the door on your way out and he kicks the couch angrily.

You entered into the crowded bar where you see the most gorgeous orange girl you've meet. Great, now you lost her surprise face. She spots you and smiles widely as you do your best to look happy. "I'm so sorry I'm late" you say as she comes in you for a huge hug "It doesn't matter. You're here now. Where's the tall boy" you roll your eyes just to think about it and Roy also stops to speak with you "That little overdramatic choose to stay in" "Oh, I'm sorry" Kori says "Are you serious? He left you alone?" The man in a birthday hat says "Unbelievable." "Yeah, that was my reaction too..." oh great now you're all buthurt and ruining this day "But was his choice and I've made mine. Enjoy your birthday, this one did a hella of a job" you punch Roy in the arm congratulating him. You knew he had a giant crush on her, so every day you tried to help a little. You could notice that it was working by her smile over him "Yeah, I know" laughing over Roy's blushing you excuse your self and head over to the bar.

You've been now exactly an hour by yourself driking everything you could name it. You shouldn't pick that dress, Jason was right, you had to every minute push it down so it would not show anything to much and by your state right now it was more annoying than provocative. Choosing your next drink you sense someone behind you, turning around you sighed crying out loud on the inside "I can't believe on what's in front of me." He grins as goes by your side putting his arms on the balcony "The mighty Y/N, without her personal body guard on this evening" "Hello Conner" you turn away focusing on the bartender bringing your next drink. "Make that a 2" he signs to the bartender "That's a shame since you look breathtaking tonight." it might be the drink kicking in, but you couldn't help but smile. You did feel nice early tonight, putting all this effort to looking good with no one to notice what was the point "Thank you, you're such a sweetheart" "So, not wanting to keep this as a topic, but where's prince charming?" he says making sure to look around to not be kept by surprise like the last time Jason put himself behind him. Conner might be a kryptonian and a super hero, but he knows the basic rules to not mess around with the buffy tall armed guy "Ugh, probably grunting on the couch like a child" you feel your tonge a bit numb vomiting the words "I've decided to clap my heels twice and show up by myself" finishing with a proud smile and putting your arm on the balcony in the same position as Conner, you see his grin growing a little wider and bitting his lip he continues "Can I buy you a drink?" "Drinks are free tonight, Kent" you smile a little more flirty than you inteend for "But you can keep me company"

Two hours later you were laughing over something silly and stupid that Conner had said. Silly and stupid that's how you feel by this time. "Y/N now that we're here, I have to say you're looking..." he bites his lips thirtly looking at your from head to toe "The most gorgeous woman I have seen" You feel your heart stop for a minute, you loved when being praised. The bastard knew it. But again, there was a grumpy kid at your house that was looking to avoid that exactly man in front of your and after realising that his hands were over your hips you push him away and his smile melts off "I'm sorry, I just thought..." "That I would cheat on my boyfriend the first opportunity I have?" "NO! No!" He recomposes himself now looking serious "We... We used to have such chemistry remember? I thought that maybe..." "That's the problem Conner, you think to much" and picking up your drink to get the hell out of there you stand up way too fast almost falling over if hadn't be for a pair of arms that you knew so well.

"Well, you're late" you say in a arrogant tone arching your brows. He simply gives you a smirk "I came because I thought that you couldn't handle yourself... But giving that guy's face it looks better than my punch on his stomach" Jason's say back. You couldn't help but smile proudly and feeling so happy that he was actually there "I told you, I'm badass" "And I'm a jackass" he says apologizing "I shouldn't yelled at you and trust you more. I was so tense when Roy told me he would be here that I let it control me. It won't happen again" he smiles back at you kissing your forhead.

You two spent a little while at the party, Jason finally giving in and actually start to have fun. You let him drink a little more and pushes him to the dancefloor where you both have the time of your lifes. But of course, you were there way longer than him and your drunkness was getting way worse than you expected as you fell of your heels again getting support from his shoulder. He looks at you worried "Do you wanna get out of here" "Nooo" you smile like a child wanting to play "You're having fun. I want you to have fun" he bites his lips over your pouty mouth and frown brows. He takes you as a deep kiss rubbing his hands over your lips "We can still have fun then" taking him by hand pushing over to your car

"Wait wait, where are your keys?" You laugh as he grabs you trying to open the doors. You turn abruptly your back to the car and opens your arms with that stupid silly smile again "Search me, officer" Jason laughs over this rolling his eyes. He rubbs his hands over your body looking for your keys. You can't help but feeling a funny feeling down your stomach wanting more, so you decide to take the action by yourself locking him closer with one of your legs "Careful Officer... At least the other guy bought me a few drinks first" you smirk as you see him grunting. Grabbing his face you push him over with your leg for a sloppy and hot kiss, moaning a bit when he pulls you apart. His hands runs over your legs as he goes up further your dress "You know..." Jason leans in to fill your neck with wet bites "... When you left, the first think I thought was this dress over you" you feel his grin on your skin hearing you moaning at his words "Then I knew it I had made a huge mistake not pushing it over to our floor and made me feel stuff" he whispered and you pull him closer feeling his growing underneath "Stuff like this?" he let out a deep side as he looks at you not taking anymore "I'm sorry for emplying that your dick was small." you gave him a crooked smile "Well, you did scream my name over this now the whole building might think the same..." "Well" you bite his lips getting closer "I could scream your name over something else..." And just like that, he finds your keys out of nowhere and almost carries the car by himself hurring up to get home.

[lavenoon]

1-100 bc fuck you

I I almost regret this 

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?there are a lot of people in my life tho not in an s/o way and not sure if in a crush way

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?my driving teacher and no, fuck him

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”I think of Litten tbh

4: what’s something you really want right now?poke// mon moon like plllsssss 

5: are you afraid of falling in love?I think a bit which is weird bc I’m craving romance

6: do you like the beach?yeah, tho I don’t like too crowded beaches

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?ye, my sister and I had living room sleep overs quite a lot

8: what’s the background on your cell?

from @dailyrowlet and the pic’s here! I have like almost 50 backgrounds like this one and change them up every few days bc each and every one of their rowlets is a masterpiece 

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?tbh I don’t completely get that question but I guess the last four beds were 1) mine 2) the one in the guest room 3) Tina’s bed bc I visited her and 4) hotel bed

10: do you like your phone?I’m okay with it, it’s lagging sometimes but does its job

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?well not that I had planned much but no, definitely not

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?Freddy’s, he’s the bf of a friend of mine and I know him too, I’m also in a whatsapp group with him but was too lazy to add his number until recently

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?Rottweiler tbh, like, love them

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?emotional pain bc it fucks u up the most

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?not sure tbh, depends probably on the museum

16: are you tired?ye

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?oh god I think 5 years maybe? haven’t seen the guy in like two years tho

18: are they a relative?no, an old classmate

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?nooo oh god sorry no

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?I’m just guessing shared kiss is on the lips so it’d be my ex and like, we saw each other at a friend’s bday party last summer and talked a bit

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?nah, I’d wait for a few years maybe even bc marriage isn’t everything

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?last person I kissed (on the cheek): my sis, so yes, and if only to annoy herlast person I kissed (on the lips): my ex, so no

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?none

24: is there a certain quote you live by?no not rlly

25: what’s on your mind?my teacher hasn’t mailed me since I sent him the first draft of this rrrllly important essay that I finished last night and I’m getting antsy bc I am allowed to procrastinate but he apparently isn’t

26: do you have any tattoos?nah

27: what is your favorite color?blue/ purple

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?how should I know

29: who are you texting?u my bro, if discord counts

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch????? n o i d e a sorry

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?even if yes I’m not gonna think abt it bc I won’t give my anxiety that satisfaction

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?not rlly

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?I wish my dude I wish but I don’t think so

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?possibly but I have no idea

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?good for him

36: were you single on valentines day?yes

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?no not rlly

38: what do your friends call you?Tina calls me moon friend sometimes B) otherwise either my birth name or Luna

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?yes, driving teacher, that asshole

40: have you ever cried over a text?definitely I’m a crybaby

41: where’s your last bruise located?rlly far up my thigh and it’s rlly small??

42: what is it from?I wish I knew

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?yesterday during the driving lesson I just rlly did not want to drive around where we drove around and was hella glad when he finally dropped me off at home

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?my mom this morning

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?I think so? never considered them a fave but thinking abt it they might be

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?only if it’s cold enough and I don’t have to put it off somewhere that’s not home until my next shower

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?not sure, maybe

48: do you make supper for your family?sometimes, but then always rlly simple stuff

49: does your bedroom have a door?yeah

50: top 3 web-pages?tumblr, ao3 and either kisscartoon or kissanime

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?yeah 

52: does anything on your body hurt?my back is killing me since this morning

53: are goodbyes hard for you?ye ah

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?I don’t even remember?? 

55: how is your hair?it’s feeling fine thanks for askingwhat kinda questions

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?reconsider waking up

57: do you think two people can last forever?yes

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?ye

59: green or purple grapes?green, dunno why

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?maybe tomorrow?

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?I don’t know I’m okay in my bed tbh

62: when will be the next time you text someone?t omo rrow??? maybe??

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?in bed and sleeping

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.sl eepingthese answers are so boring sorry

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?no, I don’t even think i liked anyone back then irl, like, fictional crushes don’t count

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?my friends, like, all of them

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?yes I can’t go a day without cuddles or hugs

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?“fuck yeah finally finished that damn essay”

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?I don’t know I’m scared of trying my best for exactly that reason, like, if I fail without doing so at least I can tell myself it wasn’t my best

70: how many windows are open on your computer?12don’t ask abt the tabs

71: how many fingers do you have?ten

72: what is your ringtone?sea of voices (antics remix) by porter robinson

73: how old will you be in 5 months?still 17 

74: where is your mum right now?in bed, she has to work early tomorrow

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?bc I was more in love with the thought of him liking me instead of rlly loving him

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?ye ah my sis

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?partially, I got some new ones but also lost two v dear to me

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?no one, I’m p sure

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?not personally no, not the most common name here in germany

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?I honestly don’t like all these “have u cuddled/ kissed/ held hands/ w/e” questions bc it makes me think I wish I could do that with a s/o b ut n o it’s always related to my family. yes to the question tho

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?whatromantically? if yes 1 if not no I’m not gonna count

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?my sister and also lucky

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?m aybe;;;;;; 

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?bad question can’t relate, I don’t drink

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?depends on the drugs tbh, and how they showed they’re into it

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?the hot cheese sauce for my nachos was cold before the movie started

87: who was your last received call from?my therapist bc she thought she had told me the wrong time for our next appointment

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?it doesn’t say living or dead so checkmate I’m gonna burn a dead butterfly and get rich

89: what is something you wish you had more of?motivation. concentration. courage. money. time. owls. the list goes on

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?don’t think so tbh

91: do you sleep with your window open?depends on the weather and season, during summer yes always bc living under the roof is tough

92: do you get along with girls?yes?? I guess??? 

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?I don’t think so?

94: does sex mean love?kinda, like, I wouldn’t do it with someone I don’t love, but it’s not some proof for love or smth, just smth rlly intimate

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?it’d be a bit awkward but I guess we’d deal with it

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?n o nope

97: did you sleep alone this week?n AH my sis slept in my room twice and also Lucky is my bed buddy always

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?many somebodies actually

99: do you believe in love at first sight?no, love’s not that shallow (imo)

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?I don’t even remember my last pinky promise

[saffrongamer]

Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg Review Script

*To be edited and slightly trimmed down*

*Will be very different after voice-over, video, and final cuts are made*

When I was growing up in the early 2000s I rarely had any exposure to many big game mascot franchises. The only ones I had seen were Mario 64 and pokemon at my cousin’s house or my sonic 3 & Knuckles CD for our family computer that used keyboard controls. And there’s no way in hell my tiny little hands would be able to reach any sort of playability on that PS/2 port windows XP nightmare dinosaur. Nooo, the only thing I really played as a kid was Spyro the Dragon on the playstation 1.

If you’re old enough to remember anything before the Nintendo Wii, then you probably remember going down to your local walmart or target and trying the demos for the latest video games.

You know,

looking directly up,

at a 90-degree angle,

with an impossibly short cable,

trying to play a children’s game. (echo in the background: WHY?  LIKE WHAT THE FU-” *cut to next clip.*

Now I’m sure it sounds like I’m just rambling, and don’t worry I’ll get to that point, but I wanted to share my magical 2003 experience with one of my favorite games. The gamecube demo had a special disc on it. This magical little disc had several games and trailers to distract kids and fathers while mom goes and picks out some socks for tomorrow's Sunday Mass. For the older crowd, this preview disc had games like Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell, Soul Calibur 2, and Viewtiful Joe. While the kids they had Sonic Adventure DX and Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg. Of course, I chose the Boy who Hatched: Billy. Hey, I was a little kid, I saw colors, a silly name, and a chicken suit. What more could peak my interest?

So I gave it a try. And I died. I died a lot. The demo starts by having you roll down a curvy path to the beach. I constantly fell into the water. I don’t even remember how far I got before I had to stop. As mom called me away, I felt a mix of disappointment and longing for more on top of my terrible neck pain.

And so I forgot about Billy and his Egg rolling adventures for the next few years. By then I had my own Gamecube and several games for it like Mario Sunshine, Sonic Heroes, and Pokemon Colosseum. Every time dad and I would go to our local gamestop, I would poke through the games and see if I could find anything. Dad would try to speed me along by suggesting a game, and I usually would have turned down whatever he chose. Until one day he grabbed billy hatcher, not because it was at a wicked good price or that he knew I would love it. He just was getting my attention with it because he liked to call me a chicken as a kid and he knew it would rile me up.

So of course, I bought it and took it home with me. First thing that got my attention was that it supported multiplayer. As the older brother I was naturally used to thrashing my younger sisters in mario party, so what was another game to feed my dominance as the eldest child? My sisters and I loved it.

We rolled around on eggs,

collecting fruit,

hatching the eggs,

collecting animals,

attacking each other with the animals after spending an hour on one round

Basically Ark: Survival Evol-*T-Rex Roaring clip*

We had names for a few of them too. We knew some of their names from the manual, but we called this one Chelk, Bunnybird, Lion, Sharky, Ostrich… We weren’t very creative children.

I guess the point I’m trying to convey is what this game was for me and my siblings and how much we enjoyed it. I was never able to get super far in the main game cause I was a kid and I sucked at video games that weren’t Spyro the Dragon or Pokemon Ruby.

So what was the reason for that build up? Why did I ramble about quality family time with a video game about kids rolling around eggs? I don’t know. I don’t have a direct focus for this video. But I would like to talk about what I think of the billy hatcher game now that I’m an adult.

So Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg… How do I begin this? You’re a young blonde boy Billy who’s overslept for his outing with his friends. He and his friends see a small chick that is being attacked by a crow, so Billy beats the fuck outta it with a stick. It is then revealed that the chick is actually the Chicken God of MorningLand. Billy and his friends are then taken to the new world to be the chosen heroes. I guess this is a new approach to the Isekai genre, so move over SAO and No Game No Life Billy’s coming to take over.

After donning the hero’s rooster outfit, Billy Hatcher and his friends Rolly Roll, Chick Poacher, and Bantam Scrambled set off to free MorningLand from the evil crows.

Each level until the final boss is structured in the same method. With a few varied level challenges moved around. You arrive in the new level with a hearty “Let’s Go!” and set off to find the trapped chicken elders, roll them over fruit, and then hatch them to obtain this game’s power star; an emblem of courage. The next level will always be a boss fight. This is what I’d usually consider what a developer would have put into place in order to keep the game kid friendly. Like allow a child to do what they’re able to do and then beat the game for their own success. While the older crowd can appreciate value in getting all of the mcguffins and beating all of the challenges. But that didn’t really happen. You see. There’s only about 6 levels. You need about 20 or so emblems to enter the final level. So if you try to move onto the final level, the game will spit you back to the stage select after you’ve trudged your way through the sand stage until you have 20 emblems. Therefore, since you only have about 12 emblems, you’ll need to go through the stages to pick some levels. Now the structure for the other stages follows a mismatched order of this for a total of 8 emblems for each stage: collect X amount of giant coins, kill 100 crows, race an NPC, find and free the 7 caged chickens, and 1 or 2 actually creative levels for that stage. 3 of the stages have you save your captured friends before they’re blown up for it’s level 4. Then allows you to play as your friends. I always liked playing Bantam as a kid cause I thought he could grab ledges better.

Stages also follow the Sonic stage tropes we all know; Forest, Pirate, Volcano, Ice, Circus, Desert, and Chicken Heaven...

Once you reach the final level you dont need to free any chicken elders, you just travel to the final boss. And I’m sorry if this is your favorite childhood game, but this final boss is terrible. And it hurts any sort of story conclusion the game was trying to have. Your final boss is I believe named Dark Raven. You use a mechanic they taught you earlier in the level in order to beat his first form. You must roll over a dark patch on the ground until it is completely gone. You dont need to get all of the circles cleared, just the one. And believe me, you’re gonna have a hard time with this. The game wants the whole circle gone with not a single pixel left otherwise the circle reforms and damages you. This becomes incredibly frustrating when there are more circles placed down and you can’t tell which circle had which darkness. This is all going on while this snarky asshole raven watches you aimlessly roll around in front of him. His final form is just another giant raven, but “spookier” I guess? At first you can’t really do anything to him and the bird just rips off your chicken suit. But then Chicken God steps in and gives you some good ol’ divine intervention with a new chicken suit. But this one has a fancy light effect thing going on. Anyways now you must dodge the raven attacks and wait for the most damning mechanic of all to screw you over. You need to stand in the direction of the raven. Wait for it to fire a ball of light at you, press the B button at the perfect frame to catch it, and then beat the fuck outta it to finish him off. I died so many times to this thing just because I missed the perfect frame grab. You have zero room for error on this one.

After you save morning land the whole chicken world sings your praise and peace returns. But now we can talk about the interesting part of the game; the gameplay mechanics. Once billy has an egg his mobility is staggering.

You can press A to jump

Tap A again to bounce jump off the ground

hold A for a ground slam

press B to smash the egg down in front of you,

Hit R in mid air to do an air dash in the direction of your choosing

Press B on the ground to roll your egg forward and watch it boomerang back to you

Press R to accelerate yourself for an egg dash

Press A while you’re dashing for a long jump to fling yourself super far

These abilities can be super well executed with the stage design allowing you to travel extremely fast and perform nifty combos.

Each stage is littered with eggs of all kinds. They either have an animal inside to help you, or a power up. You don’t need them for about 95% of the game. They’re pretty useless. You just need to use your egg to kill things. And you only need the animals for 5% just to solve a few level gimmicks or wall blockings. The power ups are pretty pointless outside of multiplayer. Sorry if that cracks your egg.

But I still love the jester hat, please don't hate me.

Each level has 5 chick coins for each stage. These are a neat thing to hunt for, but are ultimately pointless. They allow you to use that level’s sonic egg that would have been normally unobtainable. These eggs hatch into none other than big name Sega characters. These are also pointless. They’re just the normal animal powers copy/pasted onto sonic, Nights, Chu chu rocket, and PSO character models. They’re a neat thing to see when they appear in multiplayer, but they’re no more helpful than other eggs.

Which brings me into the best aspect of the game; the multiplayer. You and your friends can play in either a death match with stock or just hatch animals. However, the animal hatching only goes to a pre-set amount of points. Which you can just steal and win instantly by killing your friends. Kinda just turns into another just deathmatch. And when the screen is all cluttered from splitscreen, it feels difficult to control the camera properly. Why do I like this gamemode again? Oh yeah, nostalgia…

Scattered throughout each boss level is a special egg that allows you to demo a small downloadable game. When you connect your GBA via a cable to your Gamecube you can play several games. Easy and Hard Chicken Shoot, NiGHTS, Chu Chu Rocket, and Puyo Puyo Pop.

Chicken shoot is bad, its just a terrible top down game where billy must roll an egg over some crows. Hard isn’t hard at all. NiGHTS is entertaining, I have no experience with the games yet, but I probably should give them a shot. I can’t do chu chu rocket since I’m a little slow, but my sister is surprisingly good at the game. But puyo puyo pop was great. Lining up colored dots to clear the screen against another player is very satisfying. It reminds me of pokemon puzzle league for the Nintendo 64. I probably should get the new game for the switch…

*GBA SP joke clip*

Last thing I want to discuss is why I think this game might have been  so important for Sega when it came out. It was the first full game and original IP developed by Sonic Team for another system that wasn’t a port of a previous release. Sure they probably wrote “from the creator of sonic the hedgehog” on the cover just to push sales, but Yuji Naka’s name might not work as well as it did 10 years ago. His latest title was Rodea the Sky Soldier for the Wii & Wii U which I think deserves its own video at some point. This game was exclusively available on the Gamecube while Sonic Heroes, which released a few months later, was multiplatform. And hell, I’d rather play this game than Sonic heroes any day. And the reason why is so important, is because it was during the era 2 years after the dreamcast was discontinued and Sega went permanently 3rd party. I don’t want to talk your ear off about the 90s and the “console wars”, you’ve heard that all a thousand times before. But since then, Sega has created a variety of games that are only possible because of this relationship they’ve obtained with nintendo. Fans finally got the mario and Sonic olympic games series, and while I’m not remotely interested in them they must be doing well if they keep publishing them. But we also got Sonic colors in 2009, which is a fantastic game. And while some of the sonic games on the wii U were… lackluster, Nintendo paid for the development of Bayonetta 2 from Platinum for the Wii U. A series that sega had zero interest in funding. I could keep rambling on about them even slapping in the the gba demo download functionality, Sonic getting put into smash bros, or whatever nonsense I could come up with. But I just wanted to lament about one of my favorite childhood characters.

So that’s what I think of Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg. A lovable young boy with the ability to roll eggs. Sure, the game is littered with issues and I might only like it because of nostalgia. But I think it’s an amazing platformer nonetheless. Give it a try if you ever get the chance. I’d like to hope for a sequel, but the game’s poor sales have probably doomed any chance of that ever happening. But if you ever want to play as the boy who hatched in another game, he’s playable and makes cameos in Sega Superstars, Sonic and Sega All stars racing and racing transformed, Sonic Riders and Sonic Riders Zero gravity.