#also my search history is full of some interesting stuff now lmao

[coffeeghoulie]

Kinktober Day #29: Masturbation

The Ghostober prompts were put together by @kroas-adtam, and divider made by @gothdaddyissues, thank you both so much!

Pairing: Swiss/Rain

Swiss finds a toy in Rain's room, and wants to see Rain take it for a spin. Inspired by this post by @crimsonclergy

Trans Rain, cock and cunt used to describe his anatomy, Swiss being needy and nosy and so incredibly whipped.

Read under the cut or on AO3!

"Rainy, have you seen the hoodie I lent you the other day?" Swiss asks as he sticks his head into the common room. Rain barely looks up from the screen, eyes focused on the Zelda game he's been playing for the last few weeks. He's this close to beating this boss, but Swiss's voice is enough of a distraction that he messes up his timing, and the boss lands a critical hit, enough to one shot him.

Rain sighs, reloading his save and bracing himself for another round with the Blight he's been trying to beat for three hours. "Should be in my room. On my bed somewhere."

Swiss grins, darting back into the hallway. "Thanks, Rainbow! Love you!"

Rain parrots it back, turning back to his game, reorganizing his inventory for the tenth time before rediving into the belly of the Divine Beast.

It isn't five minutes later when Swiss ducks back into the common room, pulling his hoodie over his head. "Hey, Rainy?" he asks tentatively.

Rain takes a deep breath, retreating from the boss and pausing the game. "Yeah, Swiss?" He asks, craning his neck to look at the multi ghoul. He's standing a little awkwardly behind the couch, and Rain turns to face him more fully.

"I couldn't help it, it was just kind of out, but when I was in your room looking for my hoodie, I found something," Swiss says, rambling just a little bit. Rain peers closer, tries to figure out what Swiss found when it hits him.

He had used his grinder the night before and didn't put it away, left it out on his nightstand to dry after he cleaned it. It's his favorite toy, a little secret he keeps from his packmates. Marbled blue and silver silicone molded into the shape of a mass of writhing tentacles shaped just right. It gets him off like nothing else does.

"What is it?" Swiss asks, eyes darting over Rain's face, watching a violet blush starts to bloom on the tips of his ears.

"It's one of my toys, Swiss," Rain says, willing the blush from spreading down his cheeks.

"I've never seen any kind of toy like it," He says. "What does it do?"

Rain sighs, turning off his Switch and standing from the couch. "This is not a conversation for the common room, honey. My room."

He leads the way back to his bedroom, Swiss following after like a lost puppy, tail swaying behind him eagerly. Rain shows him in, shutting and locking the door as he slips into his room.

The grinder sits right in the middle of his nightstand, in all of its tentacled, suckered glory, the straps folded up beside it. "This what you find, Swiss?" Rain asks, grabbing the grinder and holding it up.

Swiss nods, tail flicking behind him curiously. "Yeah. You're saying that's a toy?"

"Mhm," Rain says, still brandishing the silicone. "It's a grinder. You put it between your legs and go to town."

Swiss cocks his head, taking in the shape of the tentacles. "It seems very you, rainbow."

Rain raises his eyebrows. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

The multi ghoul raises his hands, showing Rain his palms in an almost submissive gesture. "I meant, it feels very water ghoul to have a tentacle toy."

Rain chuckles, leaning over to kiss Swiss on the cheek; his stubble scrapes his lips, but he doesn't mind. "You wanna watch me use it?" He asks, delighting in the way Swiss gulps, Adam's apple bobbing.

"Yeah, Rainy, I do," He says, hands coming up to rest on the water ghoul's lithe waist. Rain smiles fondly at him before stepping back, pointing to the wingback chair in the corner of the room.

"Take a seat, pretty boy," Rain laughs, pushing Swiss by the shoulder with the hand not holding the grinder. "You wanna watch? You're gonna watch."

Swiss keens under his breath, cock filling out in his sweats, but he does as he's told, sitting crosslegged in Rain's chair. He fiddles with the string of his hoodie, unable to tear his gold eyes from Rain or the toy in his hand.

Rain turns to his bed, grabbing a pillow out of the mound of plushies and cushions at the head of his bed.

"Sure, I could just grind on the toy, but it's got straps for a reason," Rain says, tossing the pillow to the center of his mattress and grabbing the straps off of the nightstand, threading them through the slits in the toy. "You could, I'd assume, strap this to someone's thigh, make that a little more interesting, but you said you wanted to watch."

"Rainy," Swiss breathes, and Rain's head jolts up to look at him. His eyes are blown out, a tiny ring of gold around each pupil.

"What?" Rain says, tightening the straps of the grinder around the pillow. "Don't you want to watch? See how this kind of toy is used?""

Swiss nods, breathing already heavy. "Yeah, I do, like seeing you when you feel good."

Rain smiles, stepping over to cup Swiss's head in his hands, pressing a kiss on the curls between his horns. "You can touch yourself if you want, baby. I just want you to watch."

Swiss smiles back at him, warm and contagious. "Whatever you want, Rainy."

Rain slips away, back to the bed, as he strips out of his sweats and shirt, revealing his pretty teal gills along his ribs, the silvery scars under his pecs. He grins as Swiss swallows harder, and he straddles the pillow, aligning the grinder against his already wet cunt. He bites his lip as the tentacles nudge just right against his cock, peeking out from his folds slick and dusky violet, the same color as his blush.

He rocks his hips against the toy, immediately dropping down to brace himself on his hands and knees as he humps against the pillow. "Shit," Rain breathes, using the same motion he would if he were riding someone. His dick twitches against the silicone as Swiss slips a hand into his own sweats, the movement of his shoulder unmistakable. "Feels really good," he whimpers, biting his lip hard enough to taste iron as his slick coats the toy.

"Yeah, Rainy?" Swiss groans, leaning forward to watch the toy disappear between Rain's thighs. "It looks like you feel good."

"Makes me cum so quick," Rain groans, eyes pressed shut as he rocks back and forth. "Use it all the time when I'm not with one of you."

"Kept it a secret from us," Swiss says, breath hitching as Rain's hips stutter for just a moment. "Even though this is probably the hottest thing I've seen in months."

"Flatterer," Rain says, biting his lip hard.

"It's true," Swiss weakly protests, but Rain believes him, seeing just how fast his shoulder works. The sight of Swiss getting off to him paired with his cock sliding against a suckered ridge just right has him cumming, soaking the toy and the pillow underneath it. His hips stutter, jerking back and forth as he keens.

Swiss isn't far behind, leaving a wet spot on the crotch of his sweats. He shrugs, kicking off his pants as he stands, taking the few steps towards the bed. His hands rest on Rain's shoulders, helping him dismount the pillow, the water ghoul's thighs trembling.

"Shit, Raincloud," Swiss says, smoothing a hand up and down his bicep, easing Rain back down against the pillows at the head of his bed. "You looked good."

Rain smiles, shark-like. "I'll look even better when I strap it to your thigh next time."

[the-algebra-thing]

I've said before that I think chip would be big on contemporary, if anything. like me, he has a love of moves that look very cool, and unlike me, he does not have some unknown connective tissue disorder, and can pull it all off LMAO

on this note, his balance and instinctual spatial awareness are really good, thief training etc, and this lends itself really well to a ton of inversions, complex balances, even lifts. he's not as analytical as jay is about it; he's not super aware he possesses these qualities, he just Does and they help him figure out what needs to tuck and hold and brace to achieve the image he wants. despite this intuition, he's not actually strong enough to lift jay, who is like half a foot taller than him, or gillion, who is shorter than him, just built like a brick wall—but he is better than either of them at conceptualizing fun ideas for them to try out in pairs or all together.

he never got any classical or modern training, and so he's not into the technical aspect for its own sake whatsoever—he is invested in the space between what looks cool and what feels good. he has a huge respect for flow and improv for improv's sake, but he isn't so devoted to that feeling and flow that he completely casts aside looks and composition and appearances like I think edyn does. edyn, in my head, is—by now, at least—straight contact improv ideology, but that's a different beast for a different time. regardless, chip does not sacrifice appearances, and is always actively searching for what is most awesome. if hes working without a mirror he'll drag someone over to watch his current thought, give feedback, and scheme with him to bring out the full potential of whatever he's working on.

he won't shy from hip hop, but he's definitely more into acrobatics and floorwork than you could categorize as strictly hip hop. nothing about it is strict, really; he just wanted to dance, and so he did, and because he never quite got the guidance everyone else did, he ended up with a mashup of influences he picked up along the way. contemporary isn't truly its own dance style at all—it's often thrown in next to modern, but really it's a combination that draws on disciplines with full histories, like ballet and modern, and newer styles, like jazz and lyrical. it's just meant to push the boundaries of those genres and look really awesome. I think his style is, in the end, very heavy and grounded—it's also very conducive to chairography. chip could do soooo much with a folding chair. he could entertain himself for hours on that thing I think. he also can and will lean on his surroundings (railings, banisters, walls, windowsills, seating surfaces) just to see what happens—to push his poses, for compositional interest, or just to achieve a different, more dramatic feeling.

in the same vein chip also swings ollie around like he's nothing, since he's so much smaller, and ollie obviously lives for it, small boy developing vestibular sense or whatever. this inherently works towards ollie developing that same sense of balance and spatial awareness—so chip is unknowingly passing on to him a really important and useful skill that they are both unaware of, really. even without all this dance stuff I think that's something that chip has in canon that nobody thinks or talks about, despite how incredibly valuable I think it has proven to be to the crew.

took some time today to put together small base playlists I can listen to while I do these drawings for chip and a few other characters; chips is here if you're interested! I'm not interested in dance as a competition or a purely analytical practice so music influences my work, whether it's choreographing or drawing, more than really anything else. I don't have regular character playlists; thats not what this is—it's just an auditory representation of everything I've tried to outline here. I couldn't do one for chip and not gil, jay, and lizzie, so maybe those posts are also in the near future for me. crossing my fingers lmao they've been on my drawing to do list for ages

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

how to deal with feeling that you don`t want to read bible at all?

Read something else!!

For real, if you dread opening the Bible and get nothing out of it, it’s okay to leave it aside for a while and read (or watch, or listen to, etc.) other things. You have your whole life to dig back into it, if you ever feel called to do so at all. In the meantime, there is wonderful wisdom to be found in other sources too -- many of which, but not all, point back to scripture. I believe God would rather you be exploring those such works and actually gaining wisdom and connection to the Divine, than see you slogging through scripture as a chore and getting nothing but boredom or frustration out of it. 

You might, for instance, read books that are about the Bible in the hopes that they can help you learn what there is to love in the Bible.

I most highly recommend Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again by Rachel Held Evans. Read that and you’ll find a beautiful framework for reading scripture faithfully and critically, with advice on how to approach the more disturbing texts.

(for something shorter, you might also like my webpage on reframing scripture.)

Or maybe you don’t want a book that’s about the Bible at all, but is spiritually rich -- finding a good devotional is what you’ll want to do then. 

My personal faves are, like, anything written by Barbara Brown Taylor (An Altar in the World, for instance), A Tree Full of Angels by Sister Macrina Wiederkehr, Native by Kaitlin B. Curtice (not a devotional, actually a memoir, but so so rich). 

If you like shorter stuff than a full book, check out the Our Bible App for so many incredible devotionals, including ones by and for BIPOC, LGBT/queer folks, disabled folks, and more. 

Or maybe you want some quality spiritual poetry!

there’s Queering Lent by slats toole, my own book The Kin(g)dom in the Rubble by Avery Smith (i’ve also got poetry posted on my wordpress), poetry by Jessica Powers if you are into traditional Catholic Vibes....

If books aren’t your speed in general, you might prefer a good podcast -- some of my favorite “spiritual” type ones include 

Bible Bash (it is SUCH a fun podcast that looks at Bible passages from a queer/trans lens, or sometimes from an environmentalist lens); 

Everything Happens with Kate Bowler (which explores life after or in the midst of suffering, from chronic illness to a loved one’s death)

my own podcast (lmao i’m sorry, i’m that kind of person), Blessed Are the Binary Breakers, where I interview trans and/or nonbinary people of all sorts of religious backgrounds about their experiences with faith, gender, and life in general

So. Yeah. It’s okay to take a break from the Bible and explore other ways of connecting to the Divine, humanity, and all of Creation for a time. You’re okay. The Bible will be waiting for you, its pages as alive as ever, whenever you’re ready to try again.

___________

And when you are ready to check out the Bible again, whether that’s next week or years from now...

I highly recommend picking a version of the Bible with quality commentary and footnotes so you actually understand what’s going on haha -- see here for some suggestions

You absolutely want to know the history behind why any given Bible text was written. You try to read one of the prophets without knowing about the Exile? you’re gonna be bored. You might be disturbed. Ya gotta know the history!! Having a Bible with good commentary will help with that! 

I also recommend The Bible Project on Youtube’s videos for good historical context -- even tho I don’t agree with all of their theology, their history is sound and they have a wonderful concise engaging video on every single book of the Bible for you to watch. (Don’t like videos? Check out their website instead for info on each book in text format)

Know you don’t have to read from Genesis through Revelation all in order. You can pick the books of the Bible that most call to you. Some of my faves include Genesis, Exodus, Ruth, 1 & 2 Samuel (but i’m weird that way haha, you’ll want lotssss of good commentary for those), Amos, Joel, Micah, Mark and Luke, and 1 Corinthians. 

For help on picking a book of the Bible to read and all that, see this post

Or tell me what you’re looking for and ask me haha

It’s also cool to read a book or passage of scripture while engaging with a variety of interpretations on that same text at the same time! 

When I want to ~Resonate~ with what I’m reading, I seek out queer/trans and disabled theologies. 

When I want to be challenged to love my neighbor better and catch glimpses of God I (as a white, middle class, US citizen, etc.) would never catch on my own, I check out works by Black theologians, Dalit theologians, stuff from Mujeristas and Womanists and Latin American liberation theologians and on and on.

Find suggestions for such commentaries here in my recs tag. 

Or, if you’ve been taught how to read academic articles, you can visit academia.edu to search for free scholarly texts on any Bible passage you can think of, and see if there are any good ones from a perspective you’re interested in. (Example: if you search for “Isaiah 56″ and “disability” on there, you should find some gooooood stuff).

And if you’re ever reading a passage from the Bible and think “oooh I bet there are disabled/trans/Black/Indigenous/feminist/etc. theologians who’ve said some amazing stuff about this bit but I have No Clue how to find their writings on my own -- message me!!! I would LOVE to help!! Let me put my seminary Masters of Divinity to use and infodump about cool theology PLEASE

[sugar-petals]

BTS Tarot Reading ➝ What Kind Of Porn Do They Watch? (18+)

↳ NOTE - due to several requests, a steamy and detailed one. ☕️ we’re asking the cards about the erotica they fancy in a wider sense. 

warning ⚠️ 18+ // bdsm mentions, worship, kinks left and right. we’re going graphic in all types o’ ways, lads.

♡ DISCLAIMER // tarot is speculative, there is no guarantee for accuracy. believing in the cards is a choice. all portrayals are fictive and for entertainment purposes only.

SPREAD #1:

yoongi

⌈ THE WORLD ⇁ Jesus... Someone’s obsessed with girls in the nude. That card has a stark naked woman wrapped in very little satin on it so you know what our funky little guy is up to. Luscious aesthetic fotos might be just around his corner. Big duh, he’s a photography major. These folks are all about body appreciation. He’s also on a personal vendetta against lingerie 😂 Yoongi won’t get hard looking at even the most HD panty and bra ads. Only the skin in its full splendor will do, no editing. He loves pictures of nipples peaking through shirt fabric, it’s all over his phone. Yoongi likes his gals without underwear 24/7 just like he dislikes underwear himself. If we’re talking porn, the woman on the card is holding two very long rods so may I connect the dots: Threesomes, handjobs, blowbangs, spitroasting. Friction, friction, and more friction. To Yoongi’s brain, handjobs are a great um new version of holding hands. Sex standing up also, keeping it vertical. Yoongi doesn’t care about girth, inches count. Nice and elongated with a perfect plunge, something to hold onto. Yep, he’s pretty deliberate when searching that up. Yes, he loves the look of it. However, and you’ll be surprised: Even if he likes poly porn, it’s still nothing too extreme. This card is more about pleasure than pain. If a guy likes rough and degrading sex, you get swords and wands in his spread. THE WORLD is more about perfected skills and success. So, he likes the more accomplished porn stars. With a preference for curly blondes and redheads, that’s sort of the hair color on the card. Natural B or C cup. Medium height, not too curvy. Oversized booty not needed. In terms of nationality: We have three representative animals on the card. Eagle, lion and bull, plus a light blonde man’s head. So, anything that America/Germany/Albania/Mexico/Namibia (and so on, lot of countries with eagles as their national bird my dude), England, Spain and Scandinavia have to offer. Honey sugar is going international, baby.

hoseok

⌈ QUEEN OF WANDS ⇁ Did I just mention that guys who like rough sex in porn get wand cards in their readings in Yoongi’s segment? Well, there we have our candidate, with a very obvious card since it’s a court figure. Now, the thing is, this is not the guy being rough. The QUEEN OF WANDS is as notoriously femdom as can be. The very fiery and raw and fun version. So, with a degree of lightheartedness, but still being very fit — even buff — and hands-on with the sub. If you get the QUEEN OF SWORDS, that’s the more cool and calculated domme who signs you up for torture and humiliation, and she really looks like a domme. She’s all over the internet because she has the grit. Now wands combined with a tarot queen... it’s more about the stamina and she is approachable. Hobi does not like watching cruel girls, he likes challenging ones. Upbeat porn stars who can take a lot but most importantly dole it out assertively like pros are Hobi’s schtick. He’s unapologetic about that. With him it’s like, please not the local newcomers that turned legal a month ago. The queen cards are all about mature women. Mommy kink, hint hint. The kind of mommy who’s gonna whip out the spreader bar or cane (= wands again) and give a playful type of punishment. See how desert-like that imagery is, Hobi wants to sweat big time when he gets off to this. Now since wands also make for a damn good pole to dance on, go figure. This whole card has me wondering if, well alright, he is a Cardi B hard stan 😅 If Hobi blasts Money to get in the mood, I’d not be surprised. Anyway. Back to pole stuff: If you go through his youtube search history, you will find astounding things. I think he watches the more professional and athletic performers in competition though. High production value is key. Finally, an interesting card detail: There’s a sunflower on it. This is definitely his kind of tarot imagery.

jimin

⌈ KING OF COINS  ⇁ This card always looks like a scene from a medieval movie so you might have an erotic film enthusiast here. The more chaste type of genre, pentacles are very grounded and not hypersexualized. The intimacy is slow and more about security and pleasure. It’s graphic and detailed, but gives you a sense of relaxation. With a bit of romance in the plot, that might absolutely be Jimin’s thing. Castles and wine and nobility. Interesting type of erotica. Historical and classy. As expected of a prince, mind you. He might enjoy books of that genre also. And we know Jimin is an avid reader, right up there with Namjoon. Now, even with more risque and contemporary stuff that he googles up, we have similar dynamics going down on screen. With Hobi we had femdom because it’s a queen card, now with Jimin we get the classic male dom type of porn because that’s how the King usually rolls, unless it’s the KING OF CUPS who’s touchy-feely and subby. Meanwhile, the KING OF COINS is your local sugar daddy. Leaning towards being a soft dom, he’s not aggressive. And Jimin surely has a little crush on that concept. Ye know, if all the other members have female cards and Jimin gets the sugar daddy, we might be dealing with mxm action. Because if this card was a porn star, he’d be a really, really rich producer and a bear who’s done this since the frickin’ 90s. He’s treating his subs very gently and lets them sit on their lap, the imagery is sort of like that because the King is balancing a pentacle on his left thigh. Sex and comfort all in one are life for Jimin. A sexy detail I only noticed at a second glance, the King also has a shortened golden staff with him, which has a rounded tip. If that’s not a butt plug… whenever I see props like that in tarot, I interpret it as a sex toy. So, good vibes in here. And a bunch of aphrodisiacs, the KING OF COINS is a foodie. Which you know, might just be a food porn type of reference. Jimin’s taste in sexy things is quite something else.

jungkook

⌈ THE EMPRESS ⇁ If there’s one thing I like, it’s the Tarot giving me the important archetypes during readings of that kind. The Queens, the Kings, the Major arcana (see Yoongi’s and Jin’s segment). You can really draw a lot of hints out of it. Now with the EMPRESS you have a similar case to Hobi’s, just a lot more softcore. Jungkook has a refined and pretty vast taste in erotica, if not the most refined in Bangtan next to Jimin who likes that kind of dignified touch to it as well as we saw. Jungkook knows his stuff when it comes to searching things up, he is a first class netizen in that regard. In terms of genre: The EMPRESS is your highkey feminist and wholesomeness legend, so — you won’t find any super creepy things in some hidden file on his PC, and things by female producers instead. No slut-shaming or name-calling here, everyone gets their pleasure in their own right. Thanks to online sex ed, Jungkook has a map to the clit and he’s not afraid to use it. He’s the type to watch solo videos ad nauseam. He’s fascinated. Masturbation until it gets all messy with the juices flowing, and you bet he wants to see the girls buzzing themselves off lying on their back. Maybe even outdoors in a field. Cum play is a must, cunnilingus is a must, he loves unprotected sex and creampies, he loves breast massages. And yes. Anything that involves sex with pregnant and chubby women. Similar to Taehyung, it’s all about the focus on the girl, he doesn’t bother much with the guy performers. And given Yoongi’s reading on top of that, we have three members in BTS who are all about worshipping the female body right here, breasts over ass, and he likes blondes, too. The EMPRESS card is like… the entire porn industry who does the MILF and BBW genre is financed by Jeon Jungkook’s website subscriptions. Cue GOT7, with Jungkook it’s girls, girls, girls. The thirst is going strong, and he’s unashamed times ten, sex is sex. 

➝ we also have members who don’t really bother with erotica or have a complicated relationship with it.

SPREAD #2

taehyung

⌈  ACE OF WANDS reversed ⇁ He’s not about beating off until the world ends. Taehyung gets bored by porn or heated literature and doesn’t feel very motivated to search it up. He would rather come up with his own ideas to write but doesn’t have the energy. Sex drive: On hold, even if he tries to look something up it doesn’t feel very fulfilling to him. Most of it fails to turn him on, it’s not his kind of taste. He gets frustrated when he masturbates and would rather rest, dream, and doze. The only thing I can see him watch somewhat frequently — hold your horses — is lesbian porn. I’ll explain. The ACE OF WANDS is pretty much your most glaring handjob symbolism card. A hand gripping a stick. Yoongi’s THE WORLD card has very similar imagery, I mean even two wands and a girl, bisexual explosion much. He would be a big fan of the upright ACE OF WANDS card lmao! But the reversal is like, um no silly guys jerking off in here, pls. Keep your cum to yourself. That means: Zero dicks in Taehyung’s zone, girl-on-girl stuff is his very last resort for quality that he is desperate for but cannot find. And not the stuff where the producers just replace the guys with heavy arsenal sex toys, double-ended dildos, fucking machines, endless strap-on action without any clit stimulation on either side and whatnot. Taehyung is like ugh, cherie, why, give me the juicy stuff, give me the basics. What he wants is just pure scissoring, fingering, oral, little gentle bites, a lot of caresses and kisses. And slow, slow sex. Probably the amateur kind. He hates how brutal and exaggerated most things online are. Tae is looking for softness, a lot of lesbian action is what delivers in that regard so he takes all he gets. And it goes further than that, Taehyung knows the finest yuri recommendations, I’m telling you.

seokjin

⌈  THE STAR reverse ⇁ The opposite of Yoongi: not keeping it very naked in here. The upright card shows a nude woman pouring water from two cups. Hence a strong connection to the card of sexuality, TWO OF CUPS. Everything is very gentle and positive in that scenery. But then, the reversed card rather shows us that Jin doesn’t feel too thrilled watching other people film or write or photograph sex. Like in Tae’s case, he becomes bored, it’s all the same to him. Nothing’s ever new to him in porn. He feels negative and guilty rather than refreshed or entertained. He also doesn’t like a lot of kinks that very literally connect to, well, the pouring water. Squirting, cum play, watersports, sex in the pool or showers, lube overuse, creampies, bukkake, fake cum — Jin is rolling his eyes at that, he thinks it’s a circus. He’s surely given it a try, but ended up feeling worse and even more pent-up or dissatisfied. At best, you will find him on unknown websites looking for the most amateur videos there are. Because: THE STAR quite unequivocally hints at porn stars. If you reverse the card, it becomes someone not very well-known. He roots for the underdog. Accordingly, Jin’s reaction to mainstream videos goes this way: ‚Pipe down, you non-artists!’ 😆 Cause maybe, he does do it better aye, without the awkward angles anyway. He doesn’t want the body cult, like, put that airbrush and silicone out of my face bro. Not because he’s against surgery, but the idea behind sexual extremes and the shady high standards. It’s too polished for him to get turned on. And robotic/staged. Likely because he’s had an IRL sexual experience (gasp!) that set a different ideal to him, so the more glossy porn feels off. Home video has all he needs instead. I think it’s especially because you get so see more body hair there. The woman on the THE STAR card is all sleek, so the reversed card is the opposite, Jin wants that unshaved goodness.

namjoon

⌈ EIGHT OF CUPS ⇁ Now you’d think — and I thought, kinda — we’d get the master of erotica right here. And he’s had one hell of a reputation for that. Think of the ever-infamous Yaman TV interview where BTS were super upfront and revealing about their taste and what they watch privately. With especially Namjoon having the lion’s share. But this card says otherwise if his current state is concerned. The EIGHT OF CUPS shows a man wandering off into the night, leaving eight cups behind him. I think what that means is, he’s moved on. Namjoon’s cravings aren’t as strong as they used to be, nor does he have the time. He knows it won’t fix his loneliness or answer the questions of life. He might be on the search for different things to fulfill him, or ignore much of his hormones in favor for his career. Not that he didn’t dabble in it, he sure did, but that chapter is slowly closing and what’s next he doesn’t really know yet. He thinks about family and being a father, so the smaller and more risque pleasures become less significant. Desire, too. Ye olde soul syndrome is kicking in. The card is also centered around introspection, a quest for self, all these higher topics that aren’t the most grounded and don’t leave much space for being horny. Joon is simply to preoccupied and on the move. He sees porn as a distraction from his real self at this point, and he’s not the type to feel satiated after masturbating to something, similar to Jin and Taehyung. Instead, I think he carries that energy elsewhere, hence the wanderer going from A to B onto a mountain. In short, Namjoon naturally grew out of it by becoming more, well: Namjoon. He’s left a lot behind, he’s choosing self-development over temporary fun, and he will ponder a lot on the topic, the hows and whys and whats more often than not. So, he’s passed the baton to Yoongi and Jungkook if you will, and keeps a low profile as of now. 

tarot mlist | ko-fi

----

for anon:

[irresistiibles]

so uh, this is a whole monstrosity, but beneath the cut is a plotting call for the event! i have included all of my characters, sorted by location, with blurbs about what they will be doing and possible plots for them. they are just some ideas i came up with and are absolutely not limited to what i put down! anyway, toss this a like and i will hit you up to plot! 

washington dc

asami sato / legend of korra / aware

recently aware and lowkey thankful cause she has more fighting memories from her real life. not actively running out and looking for a fight against these ridiculous creatures but she’s got a taser, real decent martial arts training, and a history of handling herself against much stronger enemies. she’ll be fine, probably looking for a place to bunker down and grabbing anyone who seems like they’re in danger as she goes. worried about korra cause she doesn’t have her memories so she doesn’t know if she can defend herself

plots: could help people. could bunker down with people. could fight monsters with people. could try and build some quick tnt to throw at monsters with people. could try and steal and hotwire a car to get away from monsters with people. lots of opportunities here it’s a party.

blue sargent / the raven cycle / aware

trying to keep out of the way. she doesn’t know if her powers will make the monsters more powerful, but she knows there’s a pretty solid chance and though she is feral enough to fight she doesn’t want to risk it. has a pocket knife and spite for defense but she is under five feet tall and absolutely should not try to take anything on. probably using the chaos as an excuse to steal convenience store tea

plots: someone trying to keep her out of fights. someone she’s bunkered down with. maybe someone with powers she can enhance who’s fighting or something that she helps. 

ciel phantomhive / black butler / aware

he’s tiny and has asthma this is not an ideal situation for him. he does also have a gun but ciel isn’t stupid (most of the time) and definitely knows how to pick his battles. intelligence battles he can handle on his own but strength? absolutely not. will be trying to run and bunker down and potentially find someone who looks bigger and stronger than him to play the pity card of ‘i’m young and tiny and only have one eye’ to try and get some protection.

plots: we aren’t built for fighting so we’re running and bunkering down crew. ciel will be faking some kindness in this event because there’s powers in numbers and if it comes down to it he can trip someone else while running from a monster. someone protecting him like mentioned above. maybe someone who comes and saves his ungrateful ass. legit anything

donna benviento / resident evil / aware

girl is not a fighter. in the game she relies on illusions to fight ethan, which she will be using with any of the monsters possible in order to create escape routes for herself. will be searching for someone familiar since all the people she knows here can be fighters and she hopes like her enough to help her out.

plots: not the type to necessarily help anyone since she’s focused on helping herself, but could give some encouragement to someone else struggling. maybe someone who gets caught in a hallucination she intended for a monster just cause that would be wild. 

entrapta / she-ra / unaware

she’s doing fine. this is the sort of woman who can make explosives on the go. not actively trying to fight monsters but not actively hiding either. she’s curious to an extreme fault and will be interested in all the weird things running around washington. though she knows it isn’t safe she desperately wants a sample and will be trying to find monster corpses or even something she can sneak up on to get one.

plots: someone trying to get her away from danger. someone hanging around her because even though she isn’t hiding she can blow up the monsters and seem safe. someone fighting monsters she’s latched onto planning to get a sample after they kill something

jaskier / the witcher / unaware

lmao he is not doing fine. even if he had his memories mans was a bard and though i think jaskier has a feral side that’s more for like bar fights than monsters. he’ll be working on hiding though he’s a little shit and won’t be able to stop himself from peaking out to try and get a story for a song from all of this. lowkey think he’ll run into a monster from the witcher and trigger some memories because i am ready to know some stuff if not everything.

plots: if anyone wants to offer this man any defense that would be cool. anyone he bunkers down with. someone stuck hearing his song ideas because he’ll probably be composing as he goes like an absolute fool. anyone who witnesses him get caught by a monster and have to stick with the defense of attempting to punch it in the face and run lol. i’m cool with whatever

karolina dean / marvel’s runaways / unaware

though she is unaware karolina is luckily aware of her powers and will be using them to get herself through this. her powers aren’t reallysomething she uses often and they do cause her to become exhausted after extended use so that’s definitely a possible problem.

plots: asdfaldsfkj

lavender brown / harry potter / aware 

just thinking about the last time monsters came to life in the city and is very unhappy about it. mostly trying to hide she did not fuck with this the last time it happened and she does not fuck with it now. knows a little bit of fighting magic if it really comes down to it. will follow people to where they bunker down

plots: someone she gets stuck fighting a monster with despite wanting to dip (could develop into reluctant fighting pals). hiding buddies.  someone who helps her if she panics and just trying to hide in a dark street. legit whatever

lily evans / harry potter / unaware

she is without magic or a wand or memories and doing her best with pepper spray and a decent chunk of anger. will be trying to help people despite her lack of defenses cause she’s foolish. very well may be dying in this because i want her memories back and this feels like an opportunity (considering the other ideas i have had are all awful)  

plots: anyone she helps. anyone who helps her/drags her away from danger when she attempts to run right in. if anyone wants something big she could die trying to protect someone i’m open to options

river song / doctor who / semi-aware

let’s be real this is not the most dangerous situation river has ever been in. i would love to say she’s using her competence to help people but unfortunately she’s probably using the chaos as an excuse to rob high end stores. may help someone in a real casual aloof way where she’s passing by and shoots and monster but it’s not really a moral obligation thing rip. a little worried about where her mom is cause she just found out she definitely has a mom, so she can’t just lose her.

plots: someone she casually helps and then tries to dip from immediately. anyone interested in theft. may go to some fighting for the fun of it so if anyone wants to join she will be down

michiru kaioh / sailor moon / aware

very unhappy about the situation. mostly wants to find haruka considering the last real bad situation in washington had her seeing her dead body so. may provide a little protection along the way but she’s definitely on the colder side and is not meant to be a full time protector for anyone. will probably be transformed in her sailor neptune form to be able to handle the situation as best as possible

plots: someone she helps but tries to ditch. someone who asks her for help who she refuses. maybe someone who sees her fighting and comes by to join only for her to be like ‘oh you got this? i’m out then thanks for handling it.’ 

pansy parkinson / harry potter / aware

planning on following her successful plan that she carried out during jumanji, raiding a liquor store and finding a place to hide. will not be as easy as it was during the storm of course, but i think she’ll still kinda manage it. may get in a fight or two on the way there but that’s about it. maybe she could get injured or something lol whatever works

plots: drinking assholes buddies baby! if she does get a little injured someone for that thread (where she would probably be stupid enough to try and clean out an injury with her drinks). could save someone by accident. someone who witnesses theft lmao and has whatever reaction you want.

quinn fabray / glee / aware

uuuh quinn has many skills but none of them are made for this situation. i guess she can run kinda fast from cheerleading so that’s her best hope. it’s her one and only plan and she will be attempting to just run and hide. is not making an attempt to fight because she’s not stupid and knows anything out there could snap her in half.

plots: someone who offers some protection/saves her from a monster. bunker buddies. some regular human she’s camping out hiding with where they’re both like ‘what the actual fuck is going on in this city???’

tessa gray / the infernal devices / unaware

so she technically has magic but does she know how to use it? absolutely the fuck not. might use a tiny bit in self defense because she’s understandably very freaked out by all of this. like she knows there’s some supernatural stuff but she’s never prepared for this level of things. kinda stuck between wanting to save herself and feeling like she should help people but not knowing how so she does neither as a result. her main plan of defense is stabbing someone despite having no idea how to do so

plots: some sort of help for this victorian woman trying to survive. someone around if she accidentally uses magic to defend herself with no idea how. someone she helps get to safety. 

toph beifong / avatar the last airbender / aware

lets be real she’s having a blast. loves to fight and loves fighting in a situation where she doesn’t have to worry about morals and wow should you hurt this person?? obviously monsters can be hurt so she’s in the clear and will be throwing boulders without any hesitation. lowkey thriving and running into chaos headfirst. 

plots: though it wouldn’t be out of kindness she could help people or shield them or whatever. fighting buddies. someone who decides to stick by her cause she can clearly take out monsters. anything.

zagreus / hades / aware

honestly has spent the most recent part of his life fighting his way out of the underworld so this is not too crazy for him. he’s also died a lot so his concern for his own life is minimum. will be fighting and trying to help because he is a well meaning boy who doesn’t think people should be involved in this stuff if they don’t want to be. though earth was supposed to be better than this and is kinda thrown off and maybe a little sad.

plots: anyone he helps by saving from a monster or leading to safety. could steal a weapon off of someone lol. someone he starts questioning mid battle about whether or not this a common thing on earth

zhongli / genshin impact / aware

this man is very difficult to kill. he can summon meteors and shield himself from damage lmao. probably trying to take out as many monsters as possible but like in a for the greater good to save the people sort of way. reasons killing things is more helpful in the long term than slowly saving on person after another. 

plots: could shield someone from an attack last minute. battle buddies. someone he accidentally frightens by calling down a whole ass meteor and handling that. will save people if they get stuck in combat just not helping people to safety or anything, so there’s options. 

the island

albedo / genshin impact / aware

not gonna lie albedo is not nearly as worried as he should be. the man is bad at having emotional reactions to anything. if anything he’s really intrigued to be on a new location and will be trying to get plant and soil samples despite everything else going on.

plots: someone trying to get him to safety would be funny since it would be a very difficult task.  maybe someone also just vibing with him. a research partner who he just pulls in by accident because he’s like ‘hey get me some of those flowers over there’ and they’re thrown off or whatever to the point where they just do it. 

alec lightwood / shadowhunters / aware

a nervous man trying not to come off as nervous. will mostly be looking for magnus/issy, and turn out to subsequently be very unhappy when he realizes they aren’t there/are in washington (if one of them texts him). from there it’ll be about helping people and trying to keep people safe. this isn’t the sort of dangerous situation he’s used to dealing with (turns out you can’t fight the weather with a bow and arrow) but he’s heavily trained and will manage well enough himself and feels semi obligated to help regular humans survive

plots: any people he’s helping try to keep out of danger. someone aware of his concerns about his people back in washington. uuh literally anything he will be working real hard to play it cool but it’s hard when the people you care about are who knows how far aware and cell service is hard to get in a monsoon or lightning storm (he may try and find the tallest areas to scale just to try and get a text out so if anyone wants to join him they’re welcome to) 

esther mckinnon / harry potter / aware

mentally cursing magic and all of the nonsense that comes with it that refuses to leave her alone so she can chill. luckily, though she’s not amazing with much magic she was always slightly better with defensive stuff or charms rather than straight up attack battle magic. luckily she’s been keeping her wand on her more often than usual cause dying will do that to a person. trying to find/contact her family and survive

plots: sort of survival crew sort of deal. she’s probably half tempted to see if she can swim back to washington so someone should talk her down

gerry keay / the magnus archives / aware

similar to esther is real tired of magic stuff or cult stuff or whatever it is and is kinda pissed to still be a part of it. he’s kinda concerned this has something to do with the entities and will be running around a bit looking for answers at the start before deciding that isn’t happening and just being tired of it. also pretty sure he’s survived worse so don’t be surprised to see him smoking a cigarette through a storm somehow acting like things are chill. is nice and wants to help people even if he doesn’t seem like it so will probably move into action the second he sees anyone struggling.

plots: if your character is tired of this shit and wants to share a cigarette they are more than welcome. he will help people in whatever way he can. someone needs to tell him you can’t fight the weather with arson because that’s the only move he’s got.

glinda upland / wicked / aware

lowkey a little pissed she was not given a warning about all of this so she could at least show up in a proper beach outfit. real tempted to just hide in her bubble and float in that until this is over but isn’t sure if that would actually help. also has bad memories when it comes to extreme weather conditions. can use some magic to try and help herself with but glinda is not built for thinking under pressure so big rip

plots: someone offering her some help she needs it. someone who witnesses her attempting to keep her hair styled throughout all of this. literally whatever.

haruhi fujioka / ouran high school host club / aware

a little too confident and bad at accepting help. will be doing their best to get through this on their own, and probably semi managing but not as good as they could with some help, especially considering they are human and so many others are not. will offer others help even though their biggest and best plan is to hide however possible

plots: reluctantly accepted help. maybe the opposite of someone trying to offer help and haruhi adamantly refusing. a hiding crew of sort, where haruhi would stick with someone else under the assumption that more eyes in better and she’s still mostly handling herself.

jin ling / the untamed / unaware

stubborn like haruhi, but will recognize his limits much faster. kinda overconfident with a habbit of running headfirst into things and them directly going to shit. lowkey thinking he could get injured and get some flashes of his memories back but not become completely aware, just a sense of things. hoping his dog is safe back home

plots: please someone help this boy dear god. if i do go with an injury maybe someone pulling him out of whatever shit he gets himself into. any sort of group safety or help that can deal with him being a little mean because that’s just how he is unfortunately. 

kyoshi / avatar the last airbender / unaware

‘let kyoshi bend a meteor’ an admin said to me as a joke but you know what? she could so why not! will be attempting to utilize the bending she barely understands to get through the weather and will probably be semi successful considering she’s best at bending giant amounts of elements rather than precise bending. will be keeping herself safe but nervous about anyone being near her due to not feeling in control

plots: someone she saves with her bending. someone that could get hurt from her bending something into them accidentally (though probably not too seriously). someone hanging around her to stay safe but it’s just making her nervous but she doesn’t want to tell them to leave her alone so it’s a struggle all around

namaari / and the last dragon / aware

is used to surviving in difficult weather situations. not this bad but like, it’s not so far out of her comfort zone that she’s absolutely screwed. probably has a good instinct for it. doesn’t trust super easily so will not be super jazzed about joining a group but could go with a person or two.

plots: someone she impulsively helps. someone who helps her and she gets stuck feeling like she has to thank them and hangs around till she gets a chance to repay them (or she ditches them to save her own skin). working together but she’s clearly hesitant with them

pearl / steven universe / aware

she’ll be good. i mean very confused and concerned about how she got out of the city, but interested in finding out how it all works. will be trying to do some research around the horrible weather. is also a very fast builder and could probably manage some shelter. if she decides there’s nothing to find may try and establish a place to just stay at and deal with the weather. does have a moral compass and will attempt to help people.

plots: someone she helps/saves. any people interested in looking for answers with her that don’t have enough concern about the weather situation. can try and build some protection structures for people.

rita skeeter / harry potter / aware

real tempted to turn into a bug and just bury in the dirt until this is all over. may start that way even until earthquake kicks in and that doesn’t feel safe either. will be a beetle for some of it though. luckily most of her magic skill is in defense (she has always prepared for the day someone snaps and tries to punch her) so she’ll kinda manage, but is a selfish bitch only out for herself so do not expect much from her in terms of help. will try and start doing interviews on the island despite the craziness to prep for the article she’s gonna write after

plots: someone she starts trying to interview mid chaos. someone who pulls her out of danger while she’s filming something. lmao if someone wants to see her turn out of a bug for the laughs (or discovering she’s an illegal animagus) that could happen i’m down for whatever

victor nikiforov / yuri on ice / aware

sir is absolutely not built for this. nothing in his career has built him for this, it’s just made him a charismatic egomaniac with bad knees and ankles. probably makes a snapchat story along the lines of ‘someone come save me i’m a national treasure.’

plots: will cling onto people for help so anyone stuck with him. could offer money in return for people with any form of protection/support. making unfortunate snapchat stories/instagram posts as it goes. let him pull some people into the wildest selfies ever.

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 2: SOdden (or Sod ‘Em depending on your persuasion)

(Dont know how long I’ll be able to keep these puns up)

Catherine, like this woman, does not really fit into this era. But while this woman seems dropdead cool and at least looks the part, Catherine just...

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes:

The baby cloth lifting into the ceiling of the chapel had nice ‘myth of the demon countess of Anjou (ancestress of the Plantagenets)’ vibes. I am 100% that was unintentional. I get this impression by the cringiness of the baby’s screams (what’s up with those sound effects? It sounded like a zipper).

Henry gives me such softboi vibes? It’s pleasing to me because it’s making me attracted to him as a viewer, but no good in convincing me this is Henry VIII.

I think Catherine’s exposition about how she feels is pretty ok actually, it’s fitting that she would feel anger.

CHARLES’ FATHER IS NOT MAXIMILIAN, IT’S PHILIP (or rather it was). ~~ A quick wiki search guyz, a quick wiki search. Ughh

Again with the whole everyone acting like Catherine is Queen. Can they cut it out? Also while we’re at it, what was Catherine’s attendance in councils even like?

The music was nice

Post Child announcement phase:

Oof I hate to say it but I lowkey wanted de la Pole back in this mother. Mainly because it would mean more Margaret Pole and by this point I am scared her storyline will fade in prominence now that there’s no longer a Yorkist subplot (showhorned as it was, it was the crowning glory of last season tied with Arthur x Catherine).

More x Maggie Pole and all of it over Seneca and learning :’). I already know this will be the best part of the episode.

‘We certainly know stoicism in our family’ ~ I guess she’s referring to Reggie? Because our boi Clarence was no poster boy for stoicism. Though could she be making an ironic reference to her father~?

Edmund de la Pole Debacle:

Well this convo at least passed the bechdel test.

Maggie and Edmund’s interactions here are touching. I know this plotline was rushed but I think it was just right to bring us back here for 5 min as a mournful throwback to the bygone era to which Maggie Pope belongs to and now continues to do so alone. It is emotionless and you can just feel how the York cause was hanging on by a tired old threat by that point.

Maggie Pole is becoming matronly now and I like this transition.

What bothers me about a lot of fans of Margaret Pole is that what they don’t realise is that she wasn’t all like ‘I want nothing to do with my family I’ll stay low and obscure’. While far more cautious than the likes of her ancestors, she did engage in land disputes with Henry VIII and was an outspoken supporter of Catherine and Catholic. Having her be a woman woth dubious loyalties towards the Tudors is accurate.

Scotland with Meg and Jammes:

LMFAO it’s like they read my mind when I spoke of how much I laughed when Meg was like ‘Alexander Steward you pig!1!!’ last episode.

Nice reference to Aulde Alliance

I like James.

Henry and Catherine on the balcony:

Was she commander of the forces? Was Howard appointed that? Regent she was, ok.

Charlotte Hope’s new hairstyles really suit her!

‘Will you please stop cursing’ agahsjdk ahah

No offence to women (of which I am one) but this comparison between childbirth and war is just... wrong. I know Starz think they are being smart but childbirth is far less impressive than winning or surviving a battle - comparing the two diminishes the bravery of soldiers. YET ,having said that, childbirth is necessary for our society whereas war is almost always futile and by comparing them, it wrongly represents violence as something inherently as natural to us as birth and continuing of civilisation. overall not a smart, respectful or accurate parrallel to make.

Meg and prep for invasion + Catherine in her weird armour:

So Margaret dreams that her husband is dead and bloody in her bed. Ughh show you neeed to get more creative. But I did like the whole ‘dreams are how our ancestors talk to us’ line from Angus Douglas.

Re: Meg in her beret... Why is Meg dressed like me going to the London shops in October? Digging the aesthetic but not sure about the accuracy.

Rich of Catherine to bring up Edmund.

Why is Ursula Pole crying??? What is all this to her really?

Did Howard just call the guard... sonny?? Is this some WW2 crossover?

Catherine - James and the tent parlay:

Did Catherine just insult Meg’s intelligence??

Also lmao I’m going to miss James.

Re: Howard saying ‘I’m not going to get insulted by a man wearing a dress’ .. UMMM Starz, you do know that just thirty years ago men were prancing about in dresses and leggings (essentially). From around the middle of the 14th century to the beggining of 16th century (if not earlier), Englishmen were also essentially prancing about in ‘skirts’.

Am I getting a weird cooperation-partnership vibe between Meg and James?

The Battle:

Charlotte Hope looks so good with the helmet, she’d really suit an english hood! Such a shame they won’t give her one!

Ewwww he’s eating mud, why?

Just standard battle scene. They are all the same to me no matter which movie.

Aftermath:

Jesus, I find the whole Meg crying over James IV so heartfelt ‘you arrogant bastard’ for some reason just came out so full of emotion. Can someone please explain why the hell I ship them more than Henry x Catherine?? Like how ??

Awwww Linna is sooooo adorable ughhh. Also this whole Catherine going into armour among all the women crooning over the children gives this adorable sense of Catherine boyish and bloodying herself out to protect their peace, idk. All I have to say is that these series is less eager to pitt women against each other than the previous. I think that’s a step forwards.

Also, good to see Catherine being modest about her victory so Henry can save face. Finally starting to seem like the real Catherine.

‘Go on you dog’ arghh ahah he sounds like some public school rugby lad egging his mate on.

Re: Wolsey cock-blocker; the real Catherine would know it was uncatholic to have sex when you were pregnant. Also Catherine is not technically speaking in confinement if she’s wandering about.

It’s nice to see Catherine sticking up for Howard, she at least learned to respect him during the battle.

I foresee Oviedo having enough of this Christian stuff and wanting to return to the berber domains (I suppose Spain is out of the question)

Knighting Ceremony:

Apparently Margaret Pole herself was made Countess of Salisbury during this same ceremony... right? @houseofclarence

Also Maggie Pole being like: “being a rebel is in my blood, or so they tell me”... gahhh what’s with these shows and the Clarence erasure? Can’t they make one bloody reference to her dad or grandad Warwick? Ugh. Especially with lines like this. Actually? You know what? Ignore my previous comment about the stoic remark and it being an ironic reference to Clarence. I put such subtlety above this show’s writers.

Catherine has a habit of going to the coldest places possible to lose her children...

Haha @ Henry asking Bessie Blount (of all people) where Catherine is.

Conclusion:

6/10

What I’m happiest about is that Flodden got dealt with in one episode because warrior xena Catherine is not what interests me most about this show. Having said that, it was a true shame that James IV died because his were some of the best scenes. This whole show is starting to feel so historical fantasy-ish because the aesthetics are so confused. Granted it’s still pretty (not eyesore like Reign) but it doesn’t penetrate.

I am as always invested in the Poles (and More) but am also starting to get attached to Princess Mary whose actress exudes plenty of charm. This show remains confused with its feminist message because while it shows women being proactive there is so much emphasis on babies that what remains with the mind after watching is this womanish birthdrama, as opposed to a show about struggles which affect both genders.

You might tut at me and say I’m being ridiculous and that it is historically accurate to put so much emphasis on women’s babies and I say that’s swell. I would happily watch a show where that element is strong (most pre 1995 historical dramas are like that with traditionally feminine characters and I gulp them up like sustenance), but if a show promises feminism and women-men being partners I want it to deliver that properly. As I said in my previous post, why do we keep trying to make women engage in acts like war as if such an abhorrent act is the only way to take them seriously? I await the day where cunning, rationality and cool-headedness will be the traits portrayed as feminist ones.

There is nothing else to really comment on... the only potentially deeper message in this is the gender discourse. I am unsure about the accuracy so I can’t speak of the historical value of the interpretation. But what I will say is that though I remain excited for each new episode... I’m just not as invested as I was in TWQ (rewatch every year dont @ me) or TWP despite their many flaws. Some characters pull me in eg Maggie Pole (Carmichael is a bae), Thomas More etc but not the whole cast like TWQ. Anyway... would be interesting to see if anything happens with Lina and Oviedo tommorow as their storyline is conspicuously slow.

[jitteryjive]

FANTSY AU OH BOY*sits down and brings out a bag of popcorn and a large fanta* I WANA LISTEN ABOUT THIS ONE

HELL YEAH!!!

also apologies for this taking so long to answer!!! I wanted to write everything down :)

warning: this will be a long post even though it’s incomplete! also this will contain ode/pmtok chapter three spoilers since I’m not ignoring the fact that the game exists

tags contain all triggers.

-

okay, so basically, this niche au is entirely centered around the protagonists of my normal pmtok fics, consisting of Sea Captain, Ode, Prof, Cherub, DJ, and Shroomses. I’m sorry I don’t know why it’s such jitteryjive-protags-toadcentric but whatever, sorry guys

let’s start five thousand years ago. five thousand years ago, a pirate by the name of Captain Ode stole a legendary item from the heavens called the Marino.

it was simply a simple barter for the crown of the desert, belonging to a widespread king named King Shroomses (not to interrupt but HOLY FUCK his later designs in this story are like YES). for a while now, he’s held a grudge against him, as he’s much more skilled in stealing in this au and does stuff to fuck with him.

so, one day, Ode comes to make a deal with the King. he proposes that, if he lets him inherit the entire kingdom right now, he’ll have in possession both the Marino and boundless riches he’d stolen from aristocrats and oligarchies.

however, things don’t go as planned. Ode is captured by the King in response to the deal, surprising him.

he’s told to return the Marino to the heavens or else. like the crafty pirate that he is, Ode creates a plan to get away with the crown, and to seal the deal in a way the King won’t realize.

he tries to become king in the dead of night. he’s found attempting to steal the responsibility of being a ruler of the Kingdom, and apparently, this was the last straw.

this is where canon goes downhill. instead of being frozen and revived yadayada, he’s brutally executed on the spot (it’s not relevant to the plot but he was guillotined if you were wondering, ouch).

even though he’s, well, dead now, the King is still upset over his fuckery, and with necromancers growing stronger around him, he decides to take measures to ensure he will never walk the earth ever again.

he creates an elaborate labyrinth and hides the body of the pirate, convinced no one will ever revive his presence, and he goes back to his throne.

that isn’t the end of his story, though— he feels worse and worse for executing him in such a painful way, all on a personal grudge. it isn’t kingly at all to feel petty and take a technically innocent person’s life, even if everything he said was genuine.

over time, in his head, his morals degrade and his ruling abilities deteriorate as he falls into madness, believing he isn’t fit to rule at all with such a sin committed.

King Shroomses goes to Sedjet, the Fire God, to receive punishment. however, as a divine being due to his blessings, he cannot die from fire (MARY SUE ALERT /j).

he is severely injured, though, earning permanent magic scars all over his body that reek of flames and intended death.

so, what does he do now, to step onto the gallows and rid his kingdom of his evil doings?

the King decides to put himself into eternal sleep (contrasting from the non-au theory that he didn’t intend to sleep for a couple thousand years lmao). he curses himself a flower called the sleeping lily, shutting down his body and sending him into what is essentially a magic coma. he cannot be woken up, unless the lily is destroyed (causing him immense pain), or his living conscience is taken over. the way the curse works is that he allows himself to only think— his intention is to suffer and think over everything he’s done, to rid his body and his kingdom of anymore of his madness and horrible intention.

he orders his kingdom to set a new ruler, and to seal him into a room where his flowers will be kept and connected to his immobilized body. combined with the heavy doors, the flower’s intense properties, and the now hidden key to the room, there is essentially no way to wake him up. the King has finally gotten his wish— he will do the same as Ode and never live again.

he earns the new nickname of the Sleeping King, the once proud and prominent ruler dissolving into nothing more than a mysterious legend and a locked room. again, it’s what he would’ve wanted, to lose everything he’d built up to.

now, present time! woohoo!

five thousand years later, the story now focuses on a young bard by the name of Peter (this is DJ in the au, it’s his first name). Peter is a necromancer bard who comes from a long line of.. oh, pyromancers. they’re not very happy he’s chosen a different route in magic. (this is based off my headcanon/theory that he’s the Lighthouse Keeper in pmcs, just for kicks n laughs lol)

they have dreams of being able to revive someone great, to be known as an important necromancer who’s skilled at what they do. he’s had a dream to revive those important to him, too, considering an incident from long ago when a face-stealing monster (hole punch, not derogatory) took his friends’ lives and nearly took theirs.

however, Peter has no opportunity to revive any great figures of the past— where in the world would he find someone, asking for a necromancer to try their skills and revive an ancient person fo the past?

he finds a scholar named Baker (ahhh prof the homosexual), who also happens to be obsessed with archeology and a certain dead figure in history that he has direct plans to revive and.. okay, on second thought, they find him sort of strange.

he wants to revive a dead pirate named Captain Ode, just a fantastical legend, to have him explain the entirety of his long-dead time. it could provide context for the backstory of the Sleeping King or perhaps the barren desert kingdom that once held the two figures of legend and wonder.

well, it works for Peter, considering they’ve got similar focuses, and they actually become friends! they’re besties now.

to practice the skills of an experienced necromancer, he goes around the world with Baker, the two practicing their skills and gradually collecting what little information they can scavenge for about the infamous pirate, now a shadow to the world’s past.

one day, though, things drastically change and pick up the pace. as they’re passing through a forest, known for its holiness and direct paths into the heavens, an angel falls down from heavens.

and not gracefully, as the fucker just like— *THUNK* hits the ground and doesn’t wake up.

now Peter (an inexperienced necromancer) and Baker (a wimpy scholar) are standing in front of an angel, pale and covered in feathers that fell off their small wings.

I think you can guess who this is, lol.

after taking the dead? unconscious? whatever angel to safety, they wake up. and instantly start freaking out, because through the jumble of words they’re spitting out, the two friends make out essentially:

they were walking through the heavens, guarding the clouds like usual, when the angels all around them began to panic and freak out. somehow, a monster with blades (scissors, not derogatory once again) had gotten in, and was now killing angels by slicing them in half and causing awful chaos all around.

at some point as they were running away, someone said a warning and shoved them from behind, breaking the magic barrier in the clouds and sending them falling all the way through the heavens to the vines to the canopies, and now onto the ground they were on.

so, essentially, this terrified angel going by the name of Cherub had just survived an attack from a monster and had fallen an impossible height onto earth, where they were now trapped. great.

they agree to take them into their care until they’re back to full health, and they’ll find a way to return them to the heavens— it’s safe to assume they’ll be in trouble for befriending a (literally) fallen angel.

the thing is, they don’t want to go back.

Peter and Baker are confused until they elaborate. recently, Cherub has taken up interest in a long-dead pirate by the name of Captain Ode. they’d already gotten punished for researching such a horrible, damned name in the heavens. he’d stolen the Marino, a precious artifact that was perhaps lost to time now, ruining any chance of letting those on earth to enter the heavens.

since they were so interested in Ode’s character, and that they held the belief he wasn’t as bad as the angels swore he was, they didn’t want to return to angry attendants who despised their growing opinions.

they proceed to ask if they can join them in adventuring, and their quest to revive Ode for answers of everything— they’ve always wanted to see the world.

with even more opportunity for information on a silence figure of the past, they accept them into their party. together, Peter, Baker, and now Cherub set off into the wide world of fantasy, still searching for an answer on the Pirate of Dreams and the Sleeping King.

the three become close friends, stringing quite tightly together that there is no room for anyone else— it’s just Peter, Baker, and Cherub against the world’s judgement, adventuring and fighting monsters and studying dead people.

which messes with a lonely Ken, a sea captain (Sea Captain) who considers himself ‘friends’ with the three. he isn’t sure where he stands in their relationship— he believes that all he is is a figure of transportation, boating them across oceans and supporting their adventures despite his buried jealousy and growing sadness.

he oh-so-wishes he could be part of their world. Ken wishes he could show his unused swordfighting abilities, be able to research whatever legend they’re investigating, join them and be considered an actual friend.

but, every time he asks, the three worried adventurers always say that they’re afraid he won’t be safe enough to come with them. he technically doesn’t own a sword he knows how to wield (why did he choose such a specific weapon..?), and they would hate for him to perish on a certain adventure. besides, they were scared, thinking about how he wasn’t adapted to the environments they’d been in— would he actually survive if he came along?

and every time, Ken’s pleas are refused. when will he ever get his wishes, to be part of them? to be as esteemed as Ode, the seafarer they’ve been researching?

but those are childish dreams, he tells himself. he knows he will never be important to them.

so Ken spends his days, sailing the ocean, wondering what his purpose is when his former purpose was nothing more than expectant ramblings. he’ll never be an adventurer, and he knows this.

the first section of this story is spent detailing Ken’s issues with his loneliness and yearn, and detailing the adventures our three journeyers are going about on, leading up to the true plot of the story.

Baker comes to find information that there is an ancient city deep in the desert, a kingdom of forgotten dreams and necromancers. as Peter is a necromancer bard and likes gathering crowds to their music, a small city full of necromancers is his place to be.

it’s also confirmed by Cherub that this is the assumed kingdom where the Sleeping King resides, the only ‘living’ person left who knows the location of Ode’s body. is he exactly alive, though, they’re not sure.

all they have to do is wake up the basically-fictional-at-this-point King, and they’ll be on their way to getting their precious answers about the history of the ancient times.

also, by this point, the strange party the three have created has taken up a name. they call themselves the Sun Keepers. (this is essentially a way to stop saying “the three” “them” “the group”).

the Sun Keepers head to the Sandcastle Kingdom (YES THIS IS A REFERENCE), asking the long-time residents where to find the Sleeping King. but for some reason, they get ridiculed and laughed at.

one of the residents elaborates that there is no way to find him, because his chambers were magically sealed with the only key that could open them. really, no one knew where the keeper of the key was, or even if she was still alive, narrowing down their chances of ever meeting the Sleeping King in general. woah, plot shit.

their journey takes a brand new turn when they go out, searching everywhere they know for the key that could lead them to the Sleeping King and then Ode.

eventually, more “oh HELL YEAH” plot shit happens where they have to duel the keeper in a battle of wits for the key. Baker’s actually being put to use 😳 also CHERUB USES THEIR AXE. IN SOME OF THE SCENES HERE

once they have the key in their possession, they head to the Sandcastle Kingdom, ready to open the chambers of the Sleeping King after all eternity of slumber.

when they break open the doors, they discover they’ve forgotten the fact he can’t be awoken— considering that he’s spiritually and physically connected to quite a few sleeping lilies, it’s going to be very hard to wake up the, well, Sleeping King.

they attempt a few things (avoiding the last resort of cutting off the lilies and causing him pain) such as naturally trying to wake him up I.e shaking his shoulders, having Peter try to revive him with necromancy despite him being alive, and using heavenly methods to wake him up.

with no way to wake him up, they, downtrodden, leave and lock his chambers. despite all this, hope was not entirely lost, meaning they had to take a forbidden path as to not risk his life and kill the king.

Cherub finds a way to cast a spell that will temporarily allow them to ‘intrude’ his mind, aka just fucking with his thoughts to get him to wake up. it’s difficult at first, as there are no thoughts to be able to intrude (his mind is oddly empty), but they’re able to wake him up.

the sleeping lilies disconnect, he starts breathing again, and King Shroomses is once again awake.

things go VERY differently that expected. instead of standing up or speaking or doing anything, he’s simply in shock and dumbfounded at the fact that he’s actually awake after thousands of years of thinking to himself, preserved in the ancient chambers of his palace.

he then says that he’s confused that two peasants and a divine being had woken him up with no guards in sight— was this some kind of mistake?

the Sun Keepers explain that they’ve woken him up to find the location of Ode’s body, to resurrect him for answers of a pirate’s past.

knowing he was the one who despised Ode and executed him, they expected him to put up a fight and to protest against bringing him to life, he accepts, saying he’ll allow it.

Shroomses explains that he doesn’t care whether Ode is alive or dead at this point— he is nothing more than a legend of the past, and he has nothing to lose or gain from bringing him back to life. so, bringing the one he so awfully killed to fruition, it’s not wrong in his book in the slightest.

he also elaborates that Ode’s body is hidden in a large labyrinth from thousands of years ago. originally, before he had his downward spiral, he despised the thought of Ode returning to mortality, so he’d created this elaborate prison for his body so no one could find him.

their goal won’t be easy to reach if they’re literally going to have to fight tooth and nail to get to the bones of a dead pirate. it’s really sucky for them that, now that Shroomses doesn’t care about whether he’s dead or alive anymore, there’s no reason for the labyrinth to be there.

he lends them a couple things to aid them in their journey, hands them the key to open the labyrinth, and wishes them off.

Shroomses also passes over the old clothing of Ode, his trustworthy, recognizable coat. if he’s going to be alive again, he may as well have the clothes he’s always worn.

he doesn’t even bother to leave the room or follow them or greet anyone— he simply sits back down into his ancient throne, amongst the dead sleeping lilies, and thinks about things for the first time in a long while.

with their road rocky, the Sun Keepers nervously set off to achieve what they’ve come for.

Ode, the Pirate of Dreams, soon to breathe the air of life once again.

(also, if you’re thinking they could’ve asked Shroomses about the past, they were specifically looking for Ode’s insight, as he traveled everywhere and Shroomses did not.)

the trip isn’t easy in the slightest at all— the three risk death and peril as they make their way through the endless structure, holding the bones of the dead man somewhere in its hands.

the worst part is is that they don’t know his location in this maze— it’s a mystery to where his bones might be hiding. good thing Baker has a shovel, though.

and Peter’s afraid to tell his friends that they might not be able to fully/actually revive Ode. they might not be strong or magically potent enough to bring the body of an ancient, ancient man back to life and somehow reverse its decay so the body is all back together.

hopefully, this won’t all go to hell and be for nothing. right?

after hours of staving off the magic of the labyrinth, a defense system to keep out people like them, they’re finally at the end of their path.

a small, simple room, with a grave marked with Ode’s name.

Peter casts the spell. at first, it’s messy— there’s blood, there’s guts, there’s things he wished he hadn’t seen.

but Ode walks again. he’s, surprisingly, acting normal— unlike Shroomses, who sat there for at least thirty seconds processing his existence.

they give him his coat, and now he’s in the full, depicted appearance of himself— the Pirate of Dreams, with his red spots and his blue coat.

he asks who they are, and the Sun Keepers explain just that. Peter, the young necromancer who’d just revived him. Baker, a scholar who’s been waiting to ask him so many questions. And Cherub, a fallen angel who’s been adventuring with them.

Now that he knows who they are, he nonchalantly agrees to teaching them everything he knows. although he is ruffled his peaceful deaths was interrupted, they’ve come this far to learn about him.

Ode doesn’t exactly have any opinion on this— besides, he’s got nothing better to do.

they depart together with small talk and no fanfare.

the four spend the next months learning all about the pirate. Ode does as they say and gives up everything he’s ever seen and learned. Ransacked ships, treasure islands, dead kingdoms of the past, everything an adventuring pirate would see on their travels.

they learn everything he’s been holding onto, the sights he’s taken in and the world he’s experienced.

every word out his mouth is written down and stored away for reference, everything now a symbol of the life he lived before his execution.

Ode bonds with the three, learning about them too and how they all met— even if it’s not an equal exchange, he still finds it usefully interesting.

finally, nothing’s left for them to learn. the three thank him profusely for his help.

he leaves with a simple goodbye to the three, off to apparently re-see the world in new eyes, walk on the modified land he’d ran across thousand of years ago.

the Sun Keepers know their lengthy, strenuous adventure is over now, but they’ve grown so close to one another they can’t help but want to keep going in their futures together, journeying through lands untouched and keeping their reputation as reviving such a famous figure of the past.

everything is well.

of course, that’s what they think. they’re under the oblivious impression that Ode had been cooled down to an unbiased legend, happy to comply to anything.

they’re painfully wrong, because he hates them.

at first, Ode didn’t know who they were— he assumed they were random adventurers who didn’t understand who he really was, which was technically true.

but when they explained that King Shroomses had helped them, he understood who they were. they were evil. they were malicious people, working with the man who’d so shamelessly killed him without a single thought.

and he was offended by how much they used him. at first, when he rested in his grave and grew dormant, he was upset that he was wrongfully executed. but after time, he’d gotten used to the blissful silence and approaching eternity of sleep. it was peaceful, really— no more panic or anger or joy or sadness.

he was dead, and he was fine with that. and that was where he expected to stay.

until these things that held themselves so high revived him with their shitty magic and said they needed him for— what— writing a book or something?

Ode couldn’t believe they’d brought him back into life, overwhelming and miserable for him now, just to learn about them.

they so happily worked with the King he hated, treating him like he was nothing more than a project to be studied. actually, that was who he was to them!

Ode analyzed their behaviors and got them to give up the things they were so vulnerable with.

he was finding the best way to kill them.

they were clearly affected by the state of Shroomses’ deteriorating mindset, nothing more than arrogant adventurers who gave him bad purpose. if he killed them off, he could move onto his bigger goal— the King.

and then he’d finally be at rest.

he targets the Sun Keepers first. he hears they’ve gotten off a boat in a maritime town, so he heads there to find and quietly take their lives.

however, as he’s searching the area by the docks for the sight of a purple haired bard, a scholar in brown, and a small angel with an axe, he hears.. crying.

Ode’s torn. he can either find them and kill them, or he can find the person who sounds like they’re sobbing their eyes out.

he chooses the latter— as morally screwed as he is, he isn’t going to abandon whoever’s crying.

he then discovers the crying’s coming from the boat that he hears belonged to the Sun Keepers. either one of them has been separated, which is lucky for him, or they’ve hurt someone dearly, only adding to the reasons to despise their guts.

Ode finds a freckly sailor, clad in blue, crying very hard in the corner of the boat’s cabin.

he won’t leave them behind, so he sits down next to them and asks who they are.

they admit they’re confused someone’s actually talking to them, then explains that their name is Ken. he’s a sailor who’s friends with a very popular adventuring team, the Sun Keepers.

oh.

Ode mentions that he’s.. ‘looking’ for the three, which prompts Ken to immediately direct him towards them, but he refuses his offer— some foolish adventurers don’t matter when he’s in pain.

the sailor is still perplexed by how considerate he’s acting (even though he’s literally asking what his name is..?), apparently not being used to people so nice to him. it’s been a while since someone’s considered his feelings, boating around so many people around the world.

after a bit of coaxing from Ode, he eventually lets slip that he hates his life. he’s such a miserable, greedy person who’s overly jealous of everything about the Sun Keepers.

they won’t let him adventure because they think he’s too weak for it. they’ve got such strong relationships with one another that it’s painful to even watch them stand together. he’s been friends with Baker for so long, so why did it take so little time for him to be painted over with new friends?

he finally confesses that he wants to know just why they ignore him so much, what they’ve been doing that’s making him a ghost in their lives.

Ode painfully reveals how he’s technically the reason why— they’ve been searching for him.

he expects the downtrodden Sea Captain to retaliate or get angry with him, but all he does is sadly accept the truth. it’s really his fault he’s so obsessed with the three.

the pirate backs up his feelings and opinions, however— this isn’t normal behavior in a friendship. this is neglect on their part, and he is a pawn in their game of pathetic research.

he finally speaks up. he says he hates the Sun Keepers, because they’re working with the man who wrongfully killed him over a stupid grudge of his. and they support this! they brush over it like some kind of mistake!

Ken is horrified to hear this, now knowing the deeds of the ones he is now ashamed to call his friends. how could he have been so blind to their horrible tolerance?

and that’s not all— Ode had been revived only to be used for research. he was treated like a lab rat, being continuously squeezed for answers about the past and everything he could remember. it was torture to do it, working tirelessly to give them what he needed.

combined with the fact Ken was only needed just to boat them around (as assumed), they were used in different ways by the same people.

they’re so much worse than he thought, it’s realized.

then Ode asks him something he’d never expected to be offered— if he’d like to join him in killing the Sun Keepers and King Shroomses, to finish off the ones causing them both pain.

it’s a hesitant thought, but he finds it’s the only way to feel better. obviously, they don’t care enough to listen to his pleas to adventure or even be friendlier with them.

Ode promises he’ll never treat him as awfully as the two have been treated— he’ll genuinely be his friend in exchange for working together.

that day, Ken left behind his role as an unsatisfied way to ferry a ‘friend’ around, and he became the best thing he’s experienced—

a bad person. he’s tired of being good, he wants to do bad things.

now that his hunger to be so much better than his measly past self is only temporarily satiated, he’s ready to use those swordfighting abilities he’d left idle, and join Ode on his journey to kill the Sun Keepers and the King of the Desert.

the two set off on foot towards the Sun Keepers’ distant direction, ready to complete the first targets in their intertwined destinies.

-

anyways! that’s all I have so far. it might be kinda cringe but this au is legit one of my favs of any I’ve written from how interesting it is to me. I’m probably gonna update/make my better refs for all the important characters and post em :)

if you’ve gotten this far in this wall of text, thank for reading about this! it’s incomplete, but again thank you for giving it attention.

peace out 💜

[impracticaldemon]

Hey! So I haven't kept up with a lot of otome games and stuff, including some of the non-hakuouki stuff you are into, but I was curious about it? I wanted to know about whatever the Ikesen (ikemen??) series is, or what it is I suppose lmao? I assume mobile games, which is cool, I kind of want to look into some of those, but I curious about what were your favorites or your thoughts on them, etc.

Hi Miss P!

Just for context, I want to mention that I was a “non-mobile otome only” player until about 2.5 years ago.  I was wary of mobile otome games for a few reasons, including *my* perceptions about (lack of) depth of story and characters, cost, and dependence on a server (i.e., you don’t get to buy and “own” a game).  I took a harder look for two reasons: (1) seeing the artwork from more recent games; (2) discovering some favourite voice actors in the mobile otome world.  Also, I just wanted to find more localized Japanese otome.

What have I played?

I have actively played all the (localized) games by Cybird:  

Destined to Love (historical AU, Shinsengumi / bakumatsu era; thrown back in time; fated lover concept)

Midnight Cinderella (classic “you’re suddenly chosen to be the Princess” concept; setting is sort of mid-1800s, European-type country)

Ikemen Sengoku (historical AU, mid/late Sengoku era; taken in by Sengoku faction, become close to key leaders; thrown back in time)

Ikemen Revolution (fantasy, overarching framework based loosely on Alice in Wonderland; setting is Victorian-with-magic, not weird-drug-trip)

Ikemen Vampire (late 19th Paris, but focus is personal, not much political/historical; famous men now vampires; thrown back in time)

I have also played MLQC (from “Mr Love Queen’s Choice” - the worst localized title I have ever come across - I mean, it sounds ridiculous. The Japanese title is “Love and Producer” [ 恋とプロデューサー ] which is more accurate and less dorky sounding.  This game is Chinese (not Japanese) but so popular that it has been translated into Japanese, Korean, and English. **Note that there is some debate as to whether this is an “otome” game.**

I haven’t played: Voltage otome games; Mystic Messenger; or any other mobile otome games.

How do they work?

Almost every game has these features:

you choose the love interest right after the prologue [completely different story for each guy, no common route]

total story length is approx. 26 chapters of 5 sub-chapters [or 13 chapters with 10 sub-chapters]

you are given 5 free tickets a day; one ticket = one sub-chapter

you can buy more tickets with real money by buying “gems” (or whatever the premium in-game currency is called)

you have a stamina bar that refills over time that lets you compete in simple, totally automated challenges versus other players for experience points (usually a straight comparison of your “beauty” score, where beauty is all about how nice your clothes are and what you own (cue eye roll))

you can buy more stamina with real money, but don’t have to if you’re patient (you recover 1 point per 3 minutes, or 20 points per hour)

you need a certain level of experience points in order to pass “intimacy” challenges throughout the story

you also need certain items or outfits to pass “attire” challenges - you can buy these things with in-game regular currency (you get a bit each day) or in-game premium currency

once you’ve read a chapter you cannot go back without re-reading from the start and using new chapter tickets [there is no save function]

there are dialogue choices that raise your affection points with the love interest (getting the maximum affection score by the end of the game usually gives you a nice bonus gift; a minimum score is required to complete the story)

EVENTS are completely separate from the main routes - you compete against other players for the highest event points in order to get coveted items (outfits, chibis, teddy bears, etc.) - you DO NOT HAVE TO play in events in order to enjoy or progress in the main routes

Favourite:

Ikemen Sengoku is hands down my favourite. I would recommend this to most Hakuouki players in search of some interesting historical otome.

not historically accurate (apart the obvious, the warlords presented did not all work or live together in 1582 as presented; the main AU premise is that certain key warlords didn’t die, and relative ages and relevant details have been adjusted to fit the overarching plot(s)), but captures a lot of historically accurate details

best protagonist (modern sensibilities, has a chosen profession she relies on, sense of humour, generally competent, spunky but not perfect

the modern-era physics grad student and history-buff-turned-ninja Sarutobi Sasuke is a wonderful person, character, and “narrator”

excellent sense of humour (game) - big selling point for me tbh, and the localization team has generally done a great job (translating humour is *hard*, and while the adaptation sometimes strays too far from the Japanese original, it’s generally very good)

all main routes are different (overall, the main story quality is very good and has plot to go along with the character/romance development)

character background and development is very good

variety of love interests, with non-love-interest characters still playing important and interesting roles [sadly, few-to-no developed female secondary characters; lots of bro/mances of different kinds]

main routes all have two different endings (moving toward three); the different endings span several chapters (not just an epilogue) and are reasonably distinct in most routes (but both are clearly happy endings)

dressing up your character turns out to be a lot of fun (apparently I have NOT gotten over playing with dolls, bears, or chibis, go figure)

special “events” feature all kinds of new stories, some more creative than others (imagine Hakuouki with frequent, official new content!)

Note:  romance/sexiness level varies per route and character (Cybird provides some guidance on this in their route notes for most of their games); you generally have to pay to read more explicit stuff, but even then the level of implied/explicit varies - IkeSen is generally mid-range for Cybird for romantic/mature content in my opinion

Voice Acting:  only a few voiced lines, but more are in the works - there is a PS Vita version of the full game with full voice acting; my attention was drawn by Toriumi Kosuke (Saito from Hakuouki) voicing Toyotomi Hideyoshi (but the voice is deliberately lighter than Saito’s sadly for me); there are a LOT of pro seiyuu in the more recent Cybird games (Hakuouki’s Kazama as Leonardo da Vinci in Ikemen Vampire is a treat for the ears, honestly)

Reviews for other Cybird: 

I enjoy Midnight Cinderella for the sheer Princessy-ness of it all, and playing with dolls *ahem*. The main stories have both “personal development” and “political intrigue” style plots; however, this game is biased toward romance. There are a range of love interests, which is great - everyone can have their favourite(s). The top characters are “poster boy” (Knight Captain) Alyn Crawford (the guy you’d find on the box cover if there were one), (King) Byron Wagner, and (Duke) Louis Howard.  Call them Classic Tsundere, Classic Kuudere, and Classic Appears-to-be-tsun-but-is-really-a-total-cinammon-roll Deredere.

I enjoy the characters and world design of Ikemen Revolution; would definitely recommend it, but feel more could have been more done with the setting and characters. Alice is my second-favourite Cybird protagonist. The character interactions are very good and well-developed. 

Ikemen Vampire is very popular, and has a lot going for it, but isn’t my personal cup of tea.  That said, I’m still playing, and I do enjoy various aspects of it - the characters and character interactions, for instance.  If you’re looking for a more modern, sexy, gothic kind of feel to your otome, this could be a good choice.  

I wouldn’t spend money on the Shinsengumi game, Destined to Love, for two reasons:  (1) Cybird appears to have dropped the localized version completely (you can play all the main stories for free, one chapter per day, and you can buy old event stories, but there are no events or updates; (2) most of the stories have an unfinished feel to them, at least for me. 

That said, DTL isn’t bad if you’re in the mood to read some different stories about Hijikata and the guys (plus there are more love interests from the anti-bakufu side).  Hijikata and Saito have a similar feel to them, Okita and Yamazaki have definite similarities as well; I enjoyed Sakamoto more in DTL than in Hakuouki,and Katsura is nice.  Takasugi has a route if you’re okay with a rougher version of Hakuouki’s Okita - just be prepared for sarcasm and a very aggressive edginess.

Non-Cybird:

MLQC is a lot of fun as a deck-building game and has the most innovative story - character development aside, it’s a mix of modern China (the main plot is set in a fictional Chinese city) and increasingly sci-fi elements as you slowly learn more about what makes the protagonist and the four love interests different. There is a fair bit of grinding if you want to read more chapters and upgrade your cards, which are needed to pass challenge points in the story.

This game does not follow the usual “common route then pick a route” progression of most otome games.  Also, you don’t have choices that affect the main route progression (there are choices that affect each love interest’s affection level, though). You fully control which cards you develop (since some resources are scarce unless you throw money at the game), and you’ll probably develop one or two guys’ cards over the others.  Since each card provides you with a four-part story “date” (mostly implied romance, some more, some less), it’s up to you how you progress.

The art is gorgeous, the story is great, the translation is… not so good but better than many Chinese games… the English voice acting is quite good.  You can also download the Japanese voice acting in a number of places.

This is not the kind of otome/game you play to get an Otomate (Hakuouki, Code Realize, Collar x Malice) kind of experience.  But there are a lot of good qualities.  One of which is that it’s the easiest of the games to play for free.  Also, they have a “post whatever you want” policy.  Which tells you just how popular the game is, since people throw money at it anyway!

~ Imp

PS  This is already longer than intended, but there’s a lot more I could write. I’d be super happy if you (or anyone!) had follow-up questions about the mobile otome experience or specific games.

[zippers]

long thoughts about internet privacy under the cut (no content warnings)

i am so cavalier about my internet safety rip.... i have met up with so many mutuals.... like i am not too concerned about it because like, part of being an artist is establishing an internet presence so i kind of want my real name etc to be out there... it is interesting how on tumblr we really push for anonymity but on insta, twitter, etc. people are out there using their full names. i used an alias when i first joined tumblr but not anymore... hell i’ve even posted my full name on here when i shared my college art portfolio.

but i mean... what is the danger for me? well, the death threats i got last year from some transphobic lurker in the MGS Summer Games discord server and their cronies who thought i was a freak for simulating sex with my sculpture as part of the artistic process aside. I mean i don’t want to be famous famous but I want to be known for what i do. And I mean if Stacey Abrams can publicly say that her favorite show is supernatural than so can i. well it’s not my favorite show (watch the get down) but you get the picture. i mean, my mom has a blog and she is verified on twitter. i have posted about our activism and like, a quick google search about it will have articles we are quoted in and stuff.

i mean there are unscrupulous people out there (and there’s a specific reason why i’m not creating a bunch of spn content) but i’m an adult now and I mean if the person i cut out of my life does end up finding me and contacting me through here, i have more than enough evidence to get a restraining order or hell, send her to prison if she tries anything. so there’s that. and yes if you are that person and you are reading this, that is a promise :)

so yeah, i think that internet safety is important but i think that, at least for me, it is not something i need to be so concerned about because i am at the point in my life where i need to be making myself *more* visible on social media. like i don’t really have a professional art blog and i should, and that would not only have my full name but also my contact info and artist resume. so... if anything i am not visible enough. and i mean of course i would advertise that on this blog because i do have thousands of followers (despite losing hundreds of followers after i started posting about supernatural, lmao) and it would be honestly stupid not to take advantage of that platform when i want to start promoting my professional work. i mean some people try to separate themselves from their fandom work but like why should i? am i not as an artist influenced by the works i see and the people i meet? is my art not shaped by my history in and contribution to fandom? like, some of the pieces in my most recent show (”lifecycle of a man-made anime girl,” 2020), while not literal representations of fictional characters by any means, are named after anime characters whose treatment by male authors and fans horrified me.

i am procrastinating by writing this. i am not gonna spend another second on it.

[laufire]

Roswell NM 2x05

My thoughts of this episode could basically be summed up on “Extremely Mixed Feelings” lmfao.

Let’s start with Rosa, obviously. Gosh, I adore her. ADORE her. She feels so lively and real and colourful among... well, everything and everyone else xD. She did even in death. She makes this show better by being the point of contention in the narrative. The mixed feelings come when she interacts with anyone else, because though she remains her incredible self, (almost) everyone else isn’t and I keep chaffing against the dominant narrative :P. She’s also hilarious lmao. I love every one of her zings xD. The “bitch-ass aliens” was obviously the winner, but her calling Max & Isobel’s nonsense “psychic twincest weirdness” was close LOL.

Like, I don’t know how I feel about the show even JOKING about Rosa possibly forgiving Max & Co. The scene itself with Rosa DEMANDING her own room was perfect, but. Yeah. Don’t even joke about that xD. To add that, I actually really love her scenes with Max, both in previous episodes and this one, when he briefly convinced her of stopping his resurrection (I kind of love that the episode was so close to Easter, btw, it’s so on the nose xDD). The energy between the actors works REALLY well and I find myself suddenly paying attention to Max, which hadn’t happened so far xDD. However, I’d enjoy those scenes even more if I could be reasurred that Rosa is always going to have mixed feelings at best about him, and will never be reduced to prop him or Liz/Max (like in the moment where Rosa almost has to comfort Liz about Max loving her. Leave my kid out of this pls). But. Yeah. I also have some guesses as to where the Rosa vs. Max storyline will go now that a.) she has more control of her new powers, and b.) his resurrection is the one that’ll follow the Came Back Wrong pattern, but they’re half-formed/half-wishful thinking so far lol.

I love love love the physicality of Rosa’s scenes with Liz too, even if sometimes I’m bothered by other elements. I’m just amazed by how the actresses manage to make it come across that despite the obvious visuals, despite how ~youthful and reckless Rosa feels... she’s the older sister, still. That’s how she feels, and Liz gets ~swayed by this. Like how she bundles herself agaisnt Rosa’s chest for comfort (and in the second one, the transition to that after Liz holds Rosa’s face in her hands), or how Rosa talks about her “sweet little sister”, etc. It also helps making the relationship feel less proppy than it would otherwise --younger sisters doing something for their older ones feels different than the reverse, idk. I have Thoughts about this but they’re all tangled up with myself projecting stuff on them, so idk what I’m trying to convey here xDD

I’m less conflicted about Rosa/Isobel. STAY AWAY FROM HER ISOBEL. Seriously, I full on despise her now. Fuck her. At the beginning of the season it looked like I might start finding her interesting, but nah. That’s over. And in particular I want her as far away as possible from Rosa. I’m even surprised by the strength of my reaction lol, but I wanted to yell at her to take her dirty paws off Rosa xD (seriously, the scene where she puts her hand on Rosa’s chest felt so so creepy? Was that just me? Add that in Isobel’s comment about having a “threeway” and deugh. GO AWAY ISOBEL). And frankly, it’s hard to miss how Isobel is always at her worst with women of color (I’m wary of her attitude to men of color, after the blatant sexualization/mind control thing with Kyle or all her bullshit with Arturo, too). Her comments on Rosa’s addiction (let alone assaulting her or locking her body in a closet ofc) didn’t help her case. I really, really wish Rosa had chocked a bitch xD. BTW, I’ve seen people attribute Isobel’s shittiness to her connection to Max and his darkness when a.) we saw NO SIGNS of this, and b.) she’s been terrible from day one, okay xD. If the show goes there to absolve her of responsibility like it did in s1... ugh.

My connection was crappy af last week and I somehow missed Michael’s “help me move a body” scene until I saw the parallel done with the one this week and... did this bitch really joke about desecrating Rosa’s body in front of Liz’s face?? (who said nothing because she’s now completely on pod-people’s POV land, ofc. I had flashbacks to Delena joking about Caroline’s rape right there, too). Seriously, the pod-people, ALL of them, have an enourmous debt with Rosa (EVEN MORE NOW), and I really, really wish she collected.

I wish we’d seen Arturo & Arturo-Rosa stuff this episode. It’ll still be tainted by the circumstances (*hates Isobel even more*), but I’m very curious about them. And about how Rosa’s bio-father ties to this stuff --that side of Rosa’s family is being left out of things so far and I don’t like it, tbh. It seems to be simply because it’s too far from the pod-siblings circle of influence ¬¬. Or about how Arturo is processing all this (he still thinks Rosa drove and killed the two other girls and that Max is A Very Nice Boy *barfs*. I seriously resent the very real posibility that Rosa’s story will never be untangled, to her father and to the town).

Not-Rosa-centric stuff under the cut, I guess, because this is getting long xD

I also have mixed feelings about Maria’s scenes with Alex (and Maria’s scenes in general). OTOH, she looked amazing (this is important, js. It’s such a shame we didn’t see Michael’s reaction to that last outfit of hers *-*); I love the actor’s easy chemistry, too; and I think it’s very, very interesting, that Alex basically nudged Maria towards Michael and Miluca. OTOH, I dislike how the conversation immediately turned to supporting him, and especially the false equivalences between Maria falling for Michael and Alex contributing to the lies to her (though I don’t find him as responsibly for that as Michael and especially Liz --since it was Michael’s secret and he planned and struggled to tell her, while Liz was pretty comfortable keeping her in the dark except for her own emotional needs, and knew too well why those secrets could cost), or between looking at your mother’s search history and forgiving someone for keeping you in the dark and endangering your life, js. That he guilted her into forgiving Liz (and so fullfilling Maria’s prophecy about how Liz only struggled to tell her because she wanted support, and my own about how little her anger was allowed to last) made it worse.

I feel terrible for Kyle. You could feel the toll he’s taken smh. My heart broke a little when he told Liz “you called, I broke the speed limit”, too :/. His relationship with his mother is hanging on the balance after all his lies too, which doesn’t bode to well for him either. I liked the scene between him and Alex, at least, though I still don’t think I could ever ship them, given Kyle’s romantic history with someone that ALSO was hung up on another person, js.

Other people have talked about how Alex’s scenes with Michael often highlight his classism and how little it’s talked about in this fandom, but yeah. His comments about Michael’s “wasting” his life... I Felt that.

Related to that, Max’s comment about how someone “has to clean up [Michael’s] messes” is part of why the pod-siblinghood thing is never ever ever going to work for me, sns xDD. Sure, it’s mostly because I don’t like Max or Isobel at all, or Michael 40-50% of the time, but yeah, things like that, or Isobel assuring him of the BLATANT lie that Michael means as much to her and Max as each other... they make it harder to get into the ~spirit lol. Another issue is how TERRIBLE the editing to make them appear younger looks xDD

I had to, HAD TO, roll my eyes at Max’s martyrdom. Ooooh, he’s not doing this for HIMSELF, he would NEVER care about being in PAIN, he’s doing this for US. And the narrative conveniently doesn’t take him at his word and saves him, ofc, because’s he’s a lead and that’s what’s up. It was interesting seeing the other characters coming to acceptance at first, however --I hope it’s a Sign. There are other Signs (of Max’s narrative maaaaaaybe weak spots) that really *pop* in this episode. Like the fact that there’s doubt over who is more important to him, Liz or Isobel. In a show with a really strong male lead, the answer would unquestionably be Liz: she’d know it, Isobel would know it, we’d all know it. And sure, I know a lot of people would say that it’s “better” (?) for a show to acknowledge the ~importance of familial and platonic bonds~ and what not, but c’mon. I don’t doubt that if Liz had been white things would be different. But that’s not the case here. And there are strong arguments for Isobel being number one... like the fact that this amnesia plot in the promo seems to ONLY involve Liz? I mean, he seems to remember Isobel just fine. A male lead forgetting the love of his life is very, very tricky. OTOH this is good in the sense that I’m all for anything that makes Max take a fall... but his & Liz’s stories are too tangled up and I’d fear she’d surely go down with him :/

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #256

song lyrics here.

Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? Well considering I still live with my mother, I'd be quite the hypocrite if otherwise. Are you a generous person? I personally think so. Do you have a close relationship with your family? With my mom, extremely. Do you think there is life on other planets? Well, define "life," I suppose. Bacteria, stuff like that that science defines as life, yes. Complex life, I don't know. Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? Fuck yeah. Are you sexually attracted to any inanimate objects? ???? No. Would you watch a porno with your partner? UH NO I'm personally not at all interested in porn, and I feel it'd be awkward anyway? Have you ever stolen from your work? No. How much does intelligence turn you on? I guess like your average person that finds intelligence attractive. Do you ask someone out or wait for them to ask you? History shows it varies. Do you own any sex toys? No. Do you talk about your sex life with either of your parents? Well I don't have one now, but historically, I very timidly have with my mom about something. Generally though, I don't. I keep that very private. Do you search someone on the Internet before a first date? No. How often do you use Facebook at work? I'm unemployed. Do you enjoy television or movies better? That's hard, but maybe movies. I don't really watch either, but movies, when they have a good plot, are usually more enjoyable. Would you consider donating your body to science after you die? Sure thing. I personally want to donate my organs and have the rest cremated, though. Are you a romantic person? Yeah. Would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends? It would seriously depend on the depth of their relationship, where they're hanging out, how long... that kind of stuff. I am very serious about letting your partner have friends, including w/ the gender they're interested in, so I try to be open-minded here. Are you careful with your money? It's hard to even say with how seldom I have any. Do you like to be friends with someone before dating them? Absolutely. Do you like soccer? No. Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? Depends. I'd say I USUALLY prefer uhhh... single dates? How often do you go dancing/clubbing? Never. Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? Uh, no. Do you meditate? No. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? The soul. Do you cook fancy meals for dates? I don't cook. You don't want me to. Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid? Fuck no. Do you believe in an afterlife? Probably. Do you litter? NO. Would you have sex with someone hot who you hated? nO????????????? Do you have a career plan? Kinda, but who knows when the fuck that's coming true. Do you mostly cook your own meals? Well, I mostly microwave stuff. I never use the stove or oven. Could you live with someone who was really messy? To a certain degree, no. Do you believe in fate or destiny? No. Have you ever had sex with someone you worked with? No. Would you date someone just for the sex? Nope. Have you ever had a one night stand? No. Have you ever lied about the number of sexual partners you’ve had? No. Are sex and intimacy the same thing? "Sex is just one example of intimacy. There’s other ways to be intimate, including ones that don’t involve being sexual at all." <<<< Exactly this. Have you ever played strip poker? No. How often do you get angry? "I’m someone who gets irritated, moody, upset, and frustrated often, but not angry." <<<< Also this. Do you consider yourself an emotional person? VERY MUCH SO. Is work important to you? Considering how harshly I shit on myself for not having a job, most certainly. Have you had cosmetic surgery? No. On a first date do you pay or do they? In every experience but with Sara, they did. I only paid on Sara's and my first date out of trickery lmao. Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? No. Could you date someone who does drugs? Nope. Medical marijuana is fine, though. Have you ever been to a sex shop? No. Have you ever had a threesome? Nah. Do you enjoy discussing politics? Noooo. Would you do a striptease for your partner? WHOA I would feel WAY too awkward gd. Would you date someone who doesn’t have a car? Yeah. Is it wrong to watch porn if you’re in a relationship? That depends on the people in it. Some mind, some don't. Idk how I'd feel it if was my partner. Do you think men should pay for everything on dates? Hi, it's 2020. Women don't need to be "taken care of." Would you tie up a partner if they asked you to do so? Yeah. Have you ever had sex in a public place? No. Would you date someone twice your age? No. Should a child caught masturbating be punished? It'd be weird at a certain age, but no. It's normal to explore sexuality and what you like, and perhaps even more importantly, it's way better for you to let your sexual urges out privately versus... you know. Being forceful on others. Do you tell your friends you love them? Of course!! Maybe it's just how I was brought up, but I've always gotten kinda confused when (particularly good) friends don't. Love is platonic just as much as it is romantic, and you should let people know! Do you like playing tic-tac-toe? I mean, I guess? What about hangman? It's more fun than the former. Did you play hopscotch when you were younger? Yeah. Did your older sibling ever tell you freaky stories that you believed? I remember at least one. Do you have a yahoo account? It exists, but I haven't touched it in an eternity. I don't even remember the password. Are you a violent person? Definitely not. Do your siblings dye their hair? Not really. They occasionally get highlights, though. Do you still have any of your exes’ stuff? Besides gifted stuff, no. I think. Who can you best relate to in the last book you read? That I finished, Clay. Because he's dumb and hungry. Are you indecisive? Unbelievably. Do you collect anything? What? Meerkat and Silent Hill stuff. What are you listening to? An Emzotic video. I'm like,,, hooked on her stuff. I've been on a MASSIVE animals video binge lately, and she's a FUCKING MOOD. What was the last compliment someone gave you? Idr. What are your pets’ names? Roman and Venus. Gah, I need more bbz. What did your first best friend look like? Last I've seen a picture of her, she was a somewhat bigger person with long, curly brown hair, and she's always been very tan. Did you have a role model growing up? Steve Irwin. If you could learn how to play one instrument, what would it be? Guitar. Is your best friend dating anyone? Do you like them? No. Do you want to move? Very badly, and we probably are soon. Do you have a big family? My extended family is giant. Do you want more or less siblings? I'm happy with what I have. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Great contentment in all I do. Surrounded by love, changing the world in even tiny ways, etc. What is the trait you most deplore (dislike) in yourself? I realized it semi-recently and honestly don't want to share it. Only my old therapist knows, I think. Besides that one, the fact I'm very impulsive with words when I'm upset, probably. What is your greatest extravagance? I'm really creative and passionate. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Probably the glorification of virginity. I would know. It was a MASSIVE DEAL for most of my teenage years. On what occasion do you lie? When it's a thing where I feel it's just better to not be honest. Now I honor honesty a lot, so I avoid it as much as possible, but no, I don't believe it's always the best policy. What do you most dislike about your appearance? My weight. Which living person do you most despise? I don't know about one specific person. The traumatized part of me says Jason's friend that encouraged him to break up with me, but I know I rightfully shouldn't even dislike him, save for the fact he was pretty arrogant. What or who is the greatest love of your life? I don't know. When and where were you the happiest? Well, it depends. If you mean in a specific moment of most intense happiness, lots of times with Jason. An extended period of happiness, early into recovery when I lived with Colleen. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Recovering from the breakup. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? A house cat. Seems like a pretty good life. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? At least from my experiences, harsh rejection when you try your best to please that person. What do you value most in your friends? As far as a sweeping characteristic they all share, the will to listen and just be there for me in times I really need companionship. Who are your favorite writers? I don't really have favorites. Who is your hero of fiction? Hm, I dunno. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Uhhhh I also don't really know. I'm not enough of a history buff for this. Who are your heroes in real life? I answer this enough. What are your favorite names? Alessandra and Severin. Do you like watching reruns? No. What do you think is worth waiting for? Deep relationships. Should parenting classes be mandatory for new parents? No. What is the number one thing people are always asking you for help with? English/writing. What movie did you love the original but hated the sequel to? I remember the Ghost Rider sequel was nothing compared to the original. It was okay, but. Are you more talk and less action or vice versa? More talk. Have you ever given someone a handmade present? Yeah, especially as a kid. What type of person angers you the most? Probably those who can't put their pride aside for anything. What do you think should be a wonder of the world that currently isn’t? I don't even know what they all are to get a proper grasp on the question. What comforts you on bad days? My mom and Sara, sleep, YouTube, sometimes regrettably food, etc. Do you treat yourself and your body with respect? Not very well. Something you eat that other people would find gross. *shrugs* Nothing that's too weird. Have you ever broken the law and didn’t get caught, if so how? Yeah, and obviously by not screaming it to the world, but also because none are massive. Something you fear might change you. The aftermath of heartbreak. It still affects me today and makes me see less hope in love. What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you? Volatility. Have you ever resented someone, if so what for? "Stealing" Jason, and the other person for accusing me something of so fucking selfish and vile I don't even like saying it, especially when she was my damn therapist that I loved and trusted. How old do you think is too old to have a baby? "Old enough that getting pregnant would cause significant harm to you or the baby." <<<< How have you changed over the last five years? I've definitely become wiser and more open-minded. Have you ever painted a house? Nope. Have you ever had a surprise party (that was an actual surprise)? No. What makes you feel miserable? Eating badly (particularly too much sugar makes me feel shitty), doing nothing/extended boredom. What’s the best costume you’ve ever worn? Don't have a clue. What’s been the hardest loss you’ve had to take? Jason. A loss without actual death is, wow, awful. I mean death is too, but holy shit it hurts when that person chooses to leave you. Do you like sunny days or rainy days more? Depends on the temperature and my mood. Who is your favorite movie director and what’s your favorite movie from them? Tim Burton, of course. Alice In Wonderland. What is the furthest you’ve ever got a paper airplane to fly? Not very far. Nothing impressive. Do you like the person you are becoming? It depends on the context. Honestly, by this point, not really. What’s the highest you’ve ever jumped into the water from? Not high at all. What inspires your ideas? More than anything, music. Just a single lyric, sometimes one word, spawns a sometimes very complex concept. Have you ever assembled furniture by yourself? No. Have you ever bolstered your resume to get a job you really wanted? No. I have a really, really hard time lying for a job. Have you ever had an internship, if not what would be your dream intern job? No. Do you prefer chicken, beef, or seafood? Chicken. Have you ever had a health scare? Yes. What do or did you hate the most about dating or the dating process? Opening up again. What do you frown upon when it comes to raising kids? Spanking. Have you ever been professionally photographed? Yeah. Do you influence people more than they influence you? I very much doubt that. If you could ask one person, alive or dead, only one question, what would you ask? If he regrets me. Do you buy anything organic, if so, what is it? I don't think so? What was the name of the first album you ever bought and who was it by? I believe it was You're Awful, I Love You by Ludo. Do you have any prejudices you’ve admitted to yourself? No. Who is the very first friend you ever remember making and how old were you? Brianna; I was two. What makes you lose sleep? Stress. Anxiety. PTSD. Do you floss or use a toothpick when food gets stuck in your teeth? I floss. Have you ever made out in a bathroom? Pretty sure that's a negative. Ever physically fought with member of the opposite sex? YIKES no. Well, besides playfighting. Ever walked in on your friends having sex? No. Ever kissed a friend’s crush? No. Has anyone ever called cops on you? No. Do you swallow gum when you’re finished? Noooo that's so uncomf. Ever tackled someone to the ground? Not in a way that was a harsh fall. More like a crumbling to the floor. Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? Hm. Maybe in the school library, but I doubt that, really. I don't think I ever actually fell asleep. Did the last person you kiss have piercings? No. Did your parents spoil you as a child? No. Have you ever had alcohol poisoning? No. Ever thrown up in public? Yes. Has anyone laid on your bed besides you? Yes. What bothers you more, when people lie or when people complain? Depends on the severity. I think lying is more hurtful, though. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? Three. Who took your profile picture on Facebook? Me. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? More towards the left. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Would you ever date anyone your parents disapproved of? Yeah. I'd consider their reasonings, of course, but it's my decision.

[bigskydreaming]

I know what you like from Dick (your post are really extensive and detailed, which is great because I love seeing people talk about what they’re passionate about) but is there any type of arc, friend expansion or themes you’d like to see with other robins like Damian or Jason?

Jason, definitely. I actually talk a lot about possibilities for him unrelated to things involving Dick - I’ve got lots of thoughts and feelings about what if he’d had a bigger support system when he was a teen, and how that could have led away from his inevitable death. Like how there was always that age group of YJ and Titans members who were just a couple of years older than Tim so never quite meshed with his YJ crew, but not as old as Dick and his friends....the Ray, Damage, Anima, etc. Like there’s more than enough there for Jason’s own Titans lineup of in-betweeners. I also have a lot of thoughts about Jason and Damage being potential BFFs, and also the idea of Jason dating Tom Bronson aka Tomcat, the werepanther son of Wildcat, Ted Grant. 

And post death and return, I think Jason, Obsidian and Damage could make a great trio of misunderstood (and horrifically misused by DC) friends who’ve been through hell and back and toe the line between hero and anti-hero, but often not even so much because of their own choices but because of how they’re inevitably perceived due to things outside their own actions (like Obsidian often assumed the worst of because people are afraid of his shadow powers, and Damage has a long history of being demonized for the destructive nature of his powers by people in universe, etc).

So like, I definitely have those posts, I just suck at tagging....like search my blog on mobile for those characters’ names and posts with them should come up fairly easily.

My thoughts on expansion for Damian at the moment are currently consumed by GIVE HIM BACK HIS FRIENDS DC, WTF, FIRST COLIN, THEN MAYA, NOW JON, WHY WON’T YOU LET HIM KEEP ANY OF HIS FRIENDS EVER.

And with Tim they’re mostly like.....give Young Justice to anyone but Bendis, who I can’t stand, lol, but otherwise I’d be interested. Like, I know ppl don’t believe me lol but I genuinely don’t inherently dislike Tim, as long as he’s not being written as what I perceive to be at Dick’s expense, like, people getting pissed at Dick on Tim’s behalf for something that I will always maintain was not as cut and dried as people make it. But like, separate of stuff like that....I loved the YJ book from the nineties and was a big fan and so I’m actually really glad to have all of those characters back and reunited, its basically what I would have wanted and done with them myself all along, its just....Bendis. Why. Stop.

Also, Tim’s new superhero name will never not be the dumbest thing ever, there are SO MANY CHOICES you could go with instead and you have him like...Fail at Secret Identities AND Striking Fear Into The Heart Of His Enemies all at the same time. Good plan.

Like, when you need your hero to stop and explain to the bad guys that no, actually, his namesake is actually a pretty bad-ass bird in real life, honest, like...that’s not good. I don’t know who said that was good but like. They lied.

Cass and Duke, I just need more of together. Them in Batman & The Outsiders is again, actually a canon thing I really enjoy, even though the insistence on Cass’ broken English can go die in a fire any day now, seriously. But I love the two of them together and think they’re such an underrated dynamic and they play off each other well, and I would love to see them explore the hidden aspects of both their backgrounds together....like there’s still so much Cass doesn’t know about Lady Shiva and her intentions for Cass like what she even wants from her, and literally everything Duke learned about/from Gnomon in Batman & The Signal needs following up on STAT, even if its just to say Gnomon was full of shit and Duke should not listen to him about anything. 

I also have some older posts about the possibilities of tying Duke’s powers and his family tree into the emotional entity of hope that empowers the Blue Lantern Corps, like the same way Jade - Alan Scott’s daughter - is connected to the green lantern energy and powers without actually needing to be one herself. Like, some of that meta needs tweaking because later stories I read with Duke made certain things about that not work, but like...there’s stuff there that I still would love to see played with even if just in fic, because I love the Lantern CONCEPT as a whole, and also I’m really really in love with the idea of one of Duke’s direct ancestors having maybe been an avatar of hope at some point like Kyle was for Ion, and Duke’s powers were derived from that....like we know his mom Elaine had some kind of powers as well, with the implication IMO being that they were light connected, and that’s why Gnomon was fixated on her in the first place, even if he’s lying about being Duke’s biological father....anyway, like I said, there’s definitely stuff about that lurking around my blog, I just....desperately need to get better about tagging, but also I say that a lot and then it never happens. LOL. Like I’m great at remembering to tag for trigger warnings, but tagging for organizational purposes? My brain’s like lol why would we ever do that.

But yeah, I for sure have lots of thoughts and ideas for all the family members at various times, but there’s not a whole lot of rhyme or reason to when they pop into my head or when I shift to one in specific....just that inevitably, I always shift back to being Dick Grayson hour, lol. I even have some broader Batfam/franchise posts like.....there’s one I wrote about how I’d give other Rogues than the Joker a derivative character or sidekick, like Mister Freeze, the Riddler and Poison Ivy (I think I named them Kid Chill/Tundra, the Memetic and Hemlock). 

And there’s one I keep meaning to revisit about how I’d love to see the Batfamily go up against...a whole rival family, like if a branch of the Falcones returned to Gotham to try and retake power in secret, and they had a matriarch kinda like how Bruce is the patriarch of the Batfam, and then various kids and cousins to act as foils for the Batkids. Like a hacker named Smokescreen to work on hiding their activities from Oracle’s eyes, or a rival to Jason called Red Herring who like, pits the family against each other by framing crimes on various members of the family and testing their trust in each other.

Stuff like that. So I’m not a totally one track mind. Just 90%! LOLOL.

I occasionally remember to take longer meta or ficbits and put them in this sorta catch-all fic posting I have here:

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/18557212/chapters/43986025

But like, by occasionally I mean I’ve remembered a grand total of four times, but hey, whatever. I’m a WIP. The first one is an old magic AU I’m pretty fond of....it was mostly focused on how Dick, Jason and Tim might grow up if they’d been adopted by Zatanna instead of Bruce....though Bruce ends up adopting Cass, Steph and still has Damian. Unfortunately it was written before I got caught up on DC stuff so it doesn’t have Duke in that one....though he’s in two of the others which are more just general Batfam shenanigans.

*Shrugs* Basically I’m random as fuck and hop around a lot, but I’m definitely interested in all the various Batkids, so can happily ramble about any of them with the right prompt, whether a reblog or an ask - just assuming I have the time or energy or am not being a cranky asshole at a particular character because I���m overprotective of my personal chosen fave and not above admitting it. LOL. Quelle problematique.

Like, this is a bit broader of a question then I typically know what to do with, other than just like...point to other things I’ve written that are related, lol, because like....there’s SO MANY thoughts I have or ways I could answer that, I generally don’t know where else to start haha. The more specific you are with an ask or a debate point, the better your chances of getting something definitive from me, lmao.

[relatablepicturesofpatrickgill]

I’m sorry if this is cynical, but I’d really like your input on it (as an experience polygon vid/pat stream viewer): Do you think Pat is pushing the after hours streaming stuff because Polygon is ending? Or, at least, to try and maintain the ‘funny video/personality’ fans? I’ve noticed a lot of other polygon vid personalities are doing similar things, and main polygon video content keeps slowing down and changing, presumably in compliance w/ vox media strategy? Have you noticed too?

First of all real bold of you sending this to a Pat fanblog where all I do is make dumbass shitposts and post cat clips, as if I know a single goddamn thing about anything, but since you asked I’ll try to answer as many of your questions as possible. (I’m not mad about being asked btw I just really find it funny you’d send it here of all places lmao). Disclaimer time: I am not in any way affiliated with Polygon or Vox Media nor do I know how they operate behind the scenes.

Do I personally think Polygon is ending and that Pat streams because of that? Short answer, no. However, I believe Polygon’s necessary (yes, I said necessary) and inevitable (yes, INEVITABLE) change in content is due to a lot of deeper issues people might not know about, which I’ve gathered from research and being an idiot whomst has watched Youtube for 10+ years. Let me just say, the last year or so has pretty much been the “Everybody Knows Shits Fucked” song on repeat until we die so this is going to be a long ass post. Buckle up kiddos we’re warp speeding into this fuckfest together.

Youtube Advertiser Boycott And The Algorithms

Every social media website employs the use of algorithms to decide how content gets sorted, and Youtube isn’t any different. That’s why Youtubers constantly ask you to “like, comment and subscribe” because it helps their content get noticed through Youtube’s internal system – such as search priority, the trending section, your homepage and your recommended tab, as well as the recommended sidebar on individual videos. As for content, one of the more effective models was to find a niche and cater to it, something Polygon did by creating Monster Factory and similar humored series alongside their serious content.

And for a while, it worked. Except things change.

Before we get any further I highly suggest you read this article written by Julia Alexander about the complicated history of Youtube’s monetization system, but I’ll try to give a quick summary. Something controversial will happen on Youtube, causing brands to pull their business from the platform until they can get more security on what types of videos their ads play on, then Youtube refines the system to give brands more control. Rinse and repeat. The new system results in a massive amount of videos being demonetized, causing creators to lose revenue and viewer engagement and then request appeals to have their content reviewed by humans, which in turn improves the algorithm. Those most negatively affected by the system must diversify their payments either through Patreon, Twitch, merch, etc, or in worst case scenarios, give up on their dreams of being a Youtuber.

Youtube has a lot of incentive to keep creators updated on changes, so when users ask, “hey, can we know what’s going on with the website?” Youtube responds with an informative, “absolutely not. Die.” The userbase, as a result, is forced to run their own investigations. Nerd City published a video revealing another algorithm (one just as prone to mistakes) assigns all videos with an MPAA-style rating to make it easier for businesses to decide what sort of content they’re comfortable advertising on. This rating – hidden from both the uploader and their audience – Cannot. Be. Appealed. Good fucking system am I right!!! (Also, please watch the video if you get the chance, it brings up some points about machine learning and how the system negatively affects marginalized creators).

One more thing, do you remember what I said earlier about how a video gets popular on Youtube’s internal system? Well, creators have reason to believe a higher rating attributes to view suppression – meaning their videos might end up exempt from the things I listed. This makes it so much harder for a channel to grow their userbase outside of an already established audience. If you’re following along you might be able to tell where I’m going with this, but if not…

What Does This Have To Do With Video Games Polygon?

Once again, I do not know any of the behind the scenes Polygon lore and a lot of this is guesswork on my part. I’d imagine as a branch of Vox Media, Polygon would have a higher priority getting any potentially demonetized videos appealed than smaller, independent channels do. However, when your own website is reporting the system responsible for sorting and rating videos goes deeper than just demonetization, with a full MPAA-style ranking that’s been shown to suppress the growth of certain content not deemed advertiser friendly, such as excessive profanity and sexually suggestive content, which turns out is a subset of the niche your channel has developed – that’s a problem.

This isn’t me being critical of their content or saying what they make is bad (considering I’m a fan of it as well), this is an objective look at the reality of a rapidly changing platform. Unfortunately, the biggest flags in my head for Polygon happen to be the Jackbox series and… Monster Factory. There’s absolutely no way some of those videos are getting a kid-friendly rating, and it’s possible the bot is slapping some of them with a mature rating – the worst one where enough of those could potentially affect the rating of the entire channel. Griffin, in one of the Spore MF videos, emphatically yells, “come fuck this” to the heavens; lo and behold, a few years later Youtube finally does.

Of course, this is just one of a few different problems Polygon is facing. The Mcelroys left to focus on their own businesses, taking some of their fans with them. Other fans who mainly want the video game news might end up unsubscribing if too many videos irrelevant to their interests are posted. Some series, while perfectly funny in their own right, have trouble breaking out and appealing to a wider audience.

Polygone But Not Forgotten?

I’ll try to put it as softly as I can: almost all creators on Youtube have to reevaluate the content they put out and how it fits into Youtube’s ad-friendly guidelines if they want to continue receiving ad revenue and viewer engagement from the site. This is not just a Polygon specific problem, and as a news channel they benefit a lot more by working within the new parameters. Polygon’s primary priority should be their video game website, where I go to read all the articles that aren’t about video games, as ad revenue is probably more stable and allows them more room for sillier content. As for their channel, the “horny niche” appeal doesn’t have as much of a place anymore. Well, on Youtube at least.

Twitch, however, seems like a better home for Polygon’s familiar borderline type of humor. On a stream Pat said, as the live video producer, he’s responsible for getting their channel partnered which will come with some very important benefits, such as the ability to subscribe. I’d assume creating content for Youtube takes priority over this, and there’s also the fact that Pat is just one person and needs to balance this with other things like “having a life” and “eating??? Perhaps???” (maybe even A Vegetable). By the way, to answer one of your other questions, it’s normal for creators to have projects outside of their work and build their own personal brand, like Pat’s Twitch channel, Brian’s Youtube channel, Simone’s author account and everyone’s countless podcasts. It’s not recommended to rely solely on Youtube for your income, even before the ad boycotts, so if you can diversify your content then do so.

Listen, I know this is disappointing and I know it’s not the answer people want. Youtube’s new system isn’t going away and the video team needs to accommodate for these changes or otherwise Perish. I believe in Polygon’s ability to deliver informative, humorous and accessible content, they just need the time to do it. As an audience, a way to offer support during this difficult time is to just be as understanding and patient as possible, and give the content they put out a chance if you can.

Now I am not an expert on any of this, but if you have any questions or comments you can send them to my main @malarcana and I’ll try to answer them. Thanks for reading!

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat p19 reaction

I... don't really know what to expect anymore.

What could the wallet contain. A Dad note. A Terezi note. Or captchalogued people?

Odds are even we won't be seeing it right away. Though I'd dread to see Dirk's omniscient narrative voice take over narration of the post-victory scenes.

Still, Dirk should know better by now than to rely on his strong points this much. They're not evened out by a reliable moral compass all the time, and he's seen the results of that before. Guess with great knowledge comes great arrogance.

"Anyway, back to the B Plot." Ah yes, the B Plot. On Earth C. Featuring A2 trolls Karkat and Kanaya.

"Right about now, Jade should be wrapping up her political presentation to Roxy and Calliope" Ah, skipping right to the end of that, are we.

"Jade’s got this disarming combo of head-in-the-clouds flightiness and the kind of legit, down-to-earth cred that can only be earned by having done something like cutting open your own grandfather and stuffing him full of polyurethane foam." Ah yes, one of these definitely led to the other.

"neoliberal austerity measures" How often can we repeat the same 3 words?

"

Roxy groans upon hearing the phrase “neoliberal austerity measures” for no less than the third time in this presentation." Roxy the audience surrogate. Since it's our 3rd time too.

"JADE: as i outlined here in graph b-2 JADE: and here in figure a-6" It's a good thing timelines can only be scratched the once. A6 Alternia would have been a dreadful sight.

"JADE: and here!!! in this very spooky drawing i dictated to callie JADE: (great drawing by the way!!!) CALLIOPE: ^u^" Hah, Calliope's drawing skills have found another use! Political Powerpoints.

"JADE: the thing is that jane is an establishment leader JADE: shes looking at doing things the way our old universes did them JADE: shes pretty convinced that shes going to be able to replicate the capitalist hierarchies that earth had but in a more “responsible” way JADE: but none of that stuff actually worked!!!!!" That's a nice summary of the things that are wrong to Jane's approach, actually. Though it doesn't provide an answer to the underlying problem yet.

"ROXY: and u think karkat can do better? JADE: i think its worth it to give him a chance JADE: hes a leader of the people AND hes experienced firsthand what happens when establishment goes too far JADE: which i imagine you can sympathize with!" This really feels like a boardroom conference, with Jane trying to get a preliminary backing out of a captain of industry.

"Her graphs are floating around the living room in disarray." Hah, she's using her space powers for this in another mundane application. Though... not in any offical setting, it seems. Roxy and Calliope's home.

"CALLIOPE: i’m... CALLIOPE: going to get Us tea and snacks. woUld yoU like some, jade?" To be fair, Calliope's probably going to follow Roxy in her eventual decision, anyway. Her childhood fascination with trolls might have been abandoned for new interests, or she might trust her friend's judgment in matters political.

"Calliope excuses herself from the conversation, and flees to the kitchen, seemingly making no attempt to disguise the fact that she is in fact fleeing." What a cutey. Calliope might in fact be trying to flee anything reeking of negativity, associating it with black romance and such.

"Jade deflates as she watches her go, sensing that her presentation wasn’t the slam dunk she was hoping for." It's so easy forgetting that the narration is also at least in part steering the story at this point. >_<

"ROXY: well i gotta say ROXY: this has been a hella convincing argument all in all ROXY: buuuuut idk if i can help u out" Maybe they would actually like to stay neutral?

"She and Calliope live in a belfry above New Prospit. One end of their living room is an oriel window that looks out over a public park. The other disappears into an arcading hallway lit at the far end by a giant stained glass window that Calliope made herself. The corbels supporting it have windy, abstract shapes carved into them." Artsy! I didn't know what to picture for their living space, but actually Calliope taking to carapacian art-deco and giving it a cheruban twist really works!

"That’s what keeps Jade Harley flitting from couch to couch, relationship to relationship. She can’t stop thinking to herself that “home” comes awfully close to rhyming with “alone.”" Home Alone, huh?

"Home is John, who doesn’t call anymore. Home is when Rose and Kanaya welcome her in from a cold night and help her set lyrics to her sick basslines. Home is here, snorting at Roxy’s irreverent method of storytelling and admiring Callie’s art. Home is Dave and Karkat." This REALLY reminds me of the Tramp, as he had a home in every street he frequented.

"ROXY: im alls ABOUT the sowing of discord among my childhood friends" She's had quite her fill of the dramas. That's a valid reason to stay out of it. She'll just have to weight it against the downsides of not influencing the outcome of the election in any positive way.

"JADE: dirk got to you first ROXY: not even ROXY: i got no problem tellin dirk where to stick it lmao ROXY: but dirks not the one running JADE: you think hes NOT the one pulling the strings behind the scenes? ROXY: sure but give janey a lil credit" On the one hand I'm glad Roxy's got such a backbone, on the other hand, off course we know Dirk's still influencing the outcome at the moment. Also, uh, he's got no issues invading the lives of his friends personally, even after telling us off on the subject first.

"ROXY: but shes yknow JADE: ruthless? :B

Roxy frowns. Jade is being pretty unfair." I get the feeling Jade is less good at filtering her words lately. And I also get the feeling Dirk is starting to sow a little conflict.

"ROXY: shes gotta be miss perfect all the time for the billboards n press meetings ROXY: always wearin those power suits trying to look like a big bad bitch JADE: you mean like....... the condesce? ROXY: wow ouch JADE: im not just imagining it though, right??? JADE: you see it too JADE: not to dredge up something horrible from your history JADE: but her whole image is just kinda...... *woof* ROXY: is that what you guys think? ROXY: u and dave and karkat?" It's something they should have brought up via intermediary channels to Jane on beforehand. Not let fester until all they could think of to "stop" her was introduce a late-to-the-party candidate.

Jade might also be doubly upset with Jane for seemingly mirroring the Condesce, as they were both brainwashed by her.

"Roxy leans forward and stares Jade down, like she’s searching for something behind Jade’s eyes." That's the same thing she did with John! Guess she's trying to find out some of her secrets.

"Jade unwittingly responds in kind, looking for meaning behind Roxy’s gaze. But she comes up empty. And to be honest, so do I." That unfathomable personality might be your spanner in the works, Dirk. I can only hope she's secretly onto him. Her Void powers manifest the 'obscurity' different from Equius.

"In the spirit of full disclosure, Roxy’s the only one left I haven’t been able to crack. Her mind remains a total enigma to me, just like it always has." It's interesting, since they share so much in childhood upbringing, progeny, demeanor even at times...

"invisible, even to increasingly omniscient parties such as myself" *coughDocScratchcough* ... What would Reload Roxy be doing right now, assuming the session's timeline didn't stop when Caliborn's soul 'left' it?

"ROXY: but shes not betty crocker ROXY: and i luv her and i dont wanna hurt her feelings" N'aww.

"ROXY: and thats p much all there is to say on the matter" Second time the phrase's been used in the epilogues!

"CALLIOPE: oh, i’d rather stay Uninvolved, thank yoU." Passive player to the brink.

"CALLIOPE: i feel like interfering in both politics and a personal argUment between my friends woUld be impolite as well as kind of... stressfUl, to be honest. JADE: yeah JADE: sorry callie i probably shouldnt have put all that on you CALLIOPE: less apologizing, more snacking!" It's nice to see they're cutting her some slack. A horrible childhood, an early death, a spiel as a ghost... Oh, sure, she's one of the good guys and as such would have some responsibilities in the end, but it's nice for a change they don't expect too much from her. Maybe a bit too little for her own good, but still.

"Calliope claps her hands together. It’s a bright noise. Her tone of voice is bright too. All these years and she still can’t believe that she has so many friends. She smiles at Jade, and Jade smiles back. The tea tastes great. The cakes are even better. Callie’s an artist in everything she does." ^u^ Aww, that warms my heart at least.

"JADE: wow callie youre such an amazing hostess!" ... Well, she's a more excellent host than Doc Scratch, for sure!

"ROXY: psst not “her,” “them”" ... I see! Well, guess we'll be getting some more insight into the androgyn bodies of cherubs and how Calliope has updated her self image over all these years? Caliborn still had the giant eyelashes, so it stands to reason there were also other, more masculine traits to Calliope's body even when she still shared it with her brother.

"JADE: oh wow!" Oh, I figured Jade already knew about Calliope's preferred pronouns, but it seems not!

"CALLIOPE: bUt i did take comfort in “being a girl” for a very long time. this is something i’ve only recently decided." ... I just remembered how Calmasis also was this androgynous figure. ... I wonder if Calliope will be thinking about a name change.

So, I don't think Roxy's haircut is a sign she's genderfluid now too, but I imagine a lot of fanart has already been created for butch!Roxy by the time I read this.

"ROXY: m-me too actually" Oh. N-never mind then. That caught me unaware! I didn't see that in Roxy. For one, despite all the pink and the ponies, she didn't seem like she felt "trapped" in a role to me. Unlike Calliope, where I can see how she might have felt obliged to embrace everything not-Caliborn.

But this does shed a whole new light on Mom's overly childish and girlish bedroom in the lab. Like she was trying to compensate for something. Uhm... It might also be one of the main reasons behind her drinking problem. Her embracing girlish, adult woman habits but never feeling like they 'fit'.

Well well. Homestuck's main characters continue to be representation incarnate.

"Wait.

   What?" PFFFFFFFFFF. I love it. Dirk's reaction is gold. Guess this completely blindsided him too and didn't shed any more lights on the inner workings of her mind than he thought. So even if he knew she was holding something back after the "yea", and maybe encouraged her to keep speaking, he didn't know what to expect.

"Roxy? Seriously?

Like I said, fucking inscrutable." Dirk has NOT just had an "I knew it!" moment.

"I never would have guessed. Not that I’ve spent much time contemplating issues related to gender. I’m pretty secure in my expression of masculinity, and..." That's a suspiciously specific acknowledgement, though, Dirky boy. :P

"You know what? Fuck this. I don’t owe anyone an explanation of any sort on this topic. I’m confident with who I am, what I am, my gender, as well as my understanding of the concept. You want my honest opinion? It’s fucking fantastic. Good for them. Both of them, I mean, but also, both of them in a singular fashion, since each one can now individually be referred to by the conventionally plural word “them.”" Pffff, of all the things. I didn't think this would have Dirk fly off the handle in such a Dave-way, while still narrating, but I'm happy to see it. In an out-of-story sense, Dirk is currently the audience surrogate, showcasing what a "true fanboy"'s reaction could be like, if they were both shocked to the core but mature enough to get over their shock without throwing around accusations and tantrums.

But yeah, at least the aloofness is gone from his voice, for just this time.

"I’m ecstatic for this personal development they’ve embraced, for the people they are, the lack of gender they identify with, and the pronouns they prefer. I’ve got no problem with it whatsoever, and frankly, it’s fucking insulting anyone would ever imagine otherwise." I can picture him speaking through gritted teeth, it's glorious! 'This is good, this is fine. I am doing great!'

"ROXY: ahah hahaha hell of a way to come out" Ooh, so she's not even out to Jane or Rose yet!

"ROXY: what even is gender" That is SUCH a Roxy thing to say. Also, almost stoner like. Picture Gamzee going like (in his quirk): 'Have you ever really THOUGHT about gender, man? I mean, really THOUGHT about it.'

"Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say." "ROXY: i mean that was all stuff from our old universe ROXY: whyd we even bring it here right? JADE: right" I think for Jade it's not something she'd discard so easily! I mean, it all depends on whether 'gender' is something antigonal to your self image, in the end, I guess. If it isn't hindering you... that's how you stay heteronormative in some or all elements.

"Calliope takes a teacake between two of her claws and eats it delicately, hyper-aware of the horrible gnashing and snapping her powerful jaw is capable of.

CALLIOPE: my ideas aboUt gend—

SHIT. Between two of /their/ claws." HAH. Oh my god. The narration cut off Calliope. ... Pffff, though it IS a good callout, since I've been using gendered pronouns still to refer to Calliope. Whoops!

"CALLIOPE: i sUppose i only thoUght of myself as a girl because my, Um... CALLIOPE: my brother took mascUlinity qUite serioUsly." A) Still not saying his name :P B) Using his preferred pronouns.

"CALLIOPE: by which i mean, he became very enthUsiastic aboUt all the things it sUpposedly meant to be a boy. CALLIOPE: cherUb existence is dichotomoUs, bUt not in the same way hUman biology is. CALLIOPE: i sUppose oUr view of hUman cUlture indirectly inflUenced alternia’s development, which in tUrn affected yoUrs, which is something i’ve had a lot of time to think aboUt since we came here." Oh right! Lord English & Doc Scratch helped shape Alternia's development, so in a lot of bad ways there was a focus on power and masculinity, which may have trickled down into Earth's because of who created our universe, and thus it might all have been a self fulfilling prophecy, what Caliborn's gender identity is concerned! Guess we were due another one of these loops. :P

"ROXY: so much of what earth c thinks what boys and girls “SHOULD” do comes straight from the imagination of a bunch of dumb teens ROXY: which is totally FUCKED JADE: sure" Yes, and so much of what Earth C "should" be like, as a victory state reward planet, and the epilogues by extension, exists only in the imagination of a bunch of dumb humans spread over this globe. :P I reek a callout. Not undeserved, mind.

"She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen." (Referring to Jade.) I'll grant you that, Dirk. But I thought you were doing paraphrasing other people's thoughts for the course of this conversation?

"i liked the idea of dirk" He'll love to hear that. :P Well, you know, Karkat had the same thing, he loved the idea of Condesce as a powerful leader, if not always the result of that leadership.

"ROXY: and also literally no one else on the entire planet was alive at the time

ROXY: but we had some babies without even bein consulted about it anyway so w/e" Context!

"JADE: personally im a big fan!

And like that, Jade’s smiling again." Nothing like Dave & Karkat to lift her mood. :P

"The storm clouds pass so quickly in her world, you almost wouldn’t have thought there was anything wrong at all. Roxy and Calliope certainly didn’t notice.

But there is something wrong. And this time, they’ll notice." Uhhh, wrong with Jade? Or something wrong with Earth C in general? Besides Dirk taking over, I mean. Oh no! ... Calliope left the kettle on! :P

"JADE: i... JADE: i.........

Jade drops her tea. The cup hits the floor and shatters." ... Is she passing out?? Just like Rose??

... Oh no. This doesn't have anything to do with John going back, retconning the timeline, and some of their selves being killed right? It shouldn't influence them, since they're from a different timeline, but with the talk about canon and relevance and truth and shit...

Is Dave going to pass out next???

Did John accidentally change the Reload timeline to be the alpha one, and is the future adjusting to the changes??? Or is it due to something to do with Lord English' powers in killing a different 'real' version of them?

"She takes in a sharp breath. She’s not feeling well suddenly. She’s dizzy, feverish, seeing things beyond her field of vision. A blinding flash of light. A black, perfect circle, burning a hole in her eyes." Wow. Just like John, she gets a vision of the Black Hole! So, maybe it's more like she gets backlash from suddenly absorbing the memories of Reload Jade.

"She doesn’t look bad at all— Jade wears unconsciousness well, having spent the better part of her life napping." Aaaand we're back in sleeping beauty terrain.

"But she can’t hear her. Jade is somewhere else right now." Uhhhhh. I thought they didn't really dream in the dreambubbles post-victory no more?? Also, those were all destroyed by LE, anyway.

Dang. That's weird.

Are the B1 kids (adults) actually going to be gathering in the Furthest Ring in 'person'? But why, and how? ... There isn't anything like a 'dreambubble self' body that persists in the Furthest Ring that John could have woken up like how you could wake people up on Derse and Prospit. ... Now I'm reminded of an old fanart I made of a green moon circling the Green Sun, with green dream selves for all humans & trolls we knew at the time (B1 and A2). :P

[quinintheclouds]

I found out im a ravenclaw! It doesn't feel like it fits me but hey, what are you gonna do about it. Can you tell me stuff about ravenclaws?

Yay, I’d love to! Quick aside though, what do you mean by “found out?” Your wording seems to indicate it was something shown/told to you rather than a conclusion on which you’d arrived yourself. If you took a quiz, those can be fun but aren’t reliable. I can take the pottermore test 3 times in a row answering with complete honesty and get sorted into 3 different Houses. The quizzes are all just someone else’s perceptions of what innocuous details might pertain to each House, and a few years ago I conducted an analysis of the different options/choices and the Houses to which they led, and… a lot of it’s kinda irrelevant and arbitrary.

If I’m misinterpreting and you DID come to this realization for yourself, I’m curious as to why you feel it doesn’t seem to fit you. but WELCOME to Ravenclaw! :D Keep in mind though that everyone has aspects of every House, and aspects of themselves that aren’t contained by Houses at all!

Okay, initial ramblings aside… sorry :P Ready to hear some bomb info about us Ravenclaws that often isn’t talked about? Let’s go! [Bear in mind that these aren’t exclusive to just Ravenclaws and also won’t apply to every Ravenclaw! Some of these are just my personal experience/thoughts]

So first, Ravenclaw’s canon defining characteristics: intelligence, creativity, wit, imagination, love of learning, uniqueness, originality, individuality, curiosity, open-mindedness, and acceptance. 

We are largely a compassionate bunch that stands against ignorance of all kinds and will fight by informing others. Ravenclaws can often be found organizing protests and the like for important causes (akin to Hermione’s S.P.E.W.)

A lot of Ravenclaws have trouble settling on our House, because we can have the inclination to look at every angle of a scenario so that we can at least attempt to more objectively weigh the options. This is why I used to think I was a Gryffindor/Hufflepuff for long stretches of time.

Another reason some of us hesitate to sort ourselves as such is because of the misconception that Ravenclaws always make great grades or are dutiful with schoolwork. Not true. Intelligence comes in many forms!

On that note, neurodivergent Ravenclaws may struggle to feel we belong when we see so many our peers excel in school. 

On the brighter side, Ravenclaws like these will somewhat unknowingly wind up banding together. We’re the ones who accidentally miss class because we’re so engrossed in researching some big new interest. The ones who annoy the others by testing out new spells/potions of our own creation and consequently making a mess and ruckus. We’re the ones who forgot to study because we got confused by one of the points in the book/lecture and wound up writing an essay trying to debunk the error instead of doing the actual assignment. Here’s to us lol

A bunch of us DEFINITELY waste time gathered outside the common room (or CAW-mmon room!) just solving the door’s riddles. (If you didn’t know, the door only opens after you answer a different riddle every time) 

The vast majority of us LOVE puns. Ah, wordplay… the toy of language.

Starting a million projects and never finishing them whoops

Having a million journals you’ve written in so you have no clue which is which at this point

Buying way too many books but rarely finding time to actually read

OUR HOUSE COLORS ARE BLUE AND BRONZE, DAMMIT! THE MOVIES CHANGED THE BRONZE TO SILVER AND I’LL NEVER BE OVER IT (lol I’m totally chill about this, can you tell?)

We are HUGE daydreamers! We pride ourselves on imagination, and luckily for us, we’re in one of the tallest towers of Hogwarts (bc we represent the element of air) so we have beautiful windows out of which to gaze while letting our minds wander 

Also the cawmmon room ceiling is magically designed to always look like the night sky, so we love to lie on the floor and watch the stars, moon, planets, etc.

WE FRICKIN’ LOVE SPACE, OKAY???

NEVER leave your stuff behind in the dorms! You’ll have to answer a riddle to get back in, and by that time you’ll be late to class (fellow ADHD Ravenclaws, we know this pain all too well)

We’re an adventurous bunch, contrary to some belief. But our adventures aren’t purely for external enjoyment — the excitement arises from the stimulation of our minds. Curiosity killed the cat, as it were, but feeds the eagle. We’ll sneak out of the dorms to go to the library or steal some ingredients from the Potions classroom for an experiment. The Restricted Section is our playground. 

We’re artists, writers, poets, performers, musicians. People overlook this too often, but these are so important to so many of us. I create, therefore I am.

We’re pretty weird and eccentric a lot of the time, but embracing that helps us gain understanding about what makes us passionate, and we’ll work hard for things we care about.

Side Note: I’ll never not be bitter that Fred and George were in Gryffindor. They were such Ravenclaws. They were impish lil pranksters, and very clever about it, and only did so when there was something to be learned from it (i.e. testing their numerous inventions). I could even see Slytherin more than Gryffindor. *Sigh,* I digress… for now.

I’m one of the Ravenclaws who discusses philosophy and theoretics for hours on end, and the annoying one who asks random questions for the sake of asking questions, just as a game to test myself and see if I can come up with possible answers. (The embodiment of the “do you think pigeons have feelings?” meme).

We, uh. Have terrible sleeping habits. And eating. And showering. And we forget water exists sometimes. We kinda have problems remembering we have corporeal bodies with needs or whatever. Lame.

Some of the more rigid, stereotypical Ravenclaws can be defensively competitive for top of class, and that can turn a bit sour, but I like to avoid that drama altogether.

We notably broke into the Astronomy Tower to watch a meteor shower, and lost so many points we came dead last in the House Cup that year.

Many of us have ALSO snuck into the Forbidden Forest to study creatures and explore deeper.

Yeah we don’t win the Cup often.

Muggle-born Ravenclaws get together in secret to teach the others about math/science/literature/etc. because the purebloods BEGGED them to and they were happy to oblige.

Interviewing the paintings to learn magical history from a firsthand account bc Professor Binns is too detached and boring

According to the wiki, we’re the House most likely to dismiss social conventions and unspoken rules in the search for satiating our curiosity. We’re full of quirks and often won’t stand for playing by unnecessary or flawed rules of any nature.

As hyper and Extra™ as some of us can be, we also love to chill by the fire with a book, a blanket, some music, and maybe too much tea

In general, we’re “well-known for being welcoming and encouraging of creativity, eccentricity and individuality and being very accepting,” as stated by the wiki.

Okay, I am physically forcing myself to stop now. As you can see, we also tend to just dump information all over the place lmao XD Anyway this was fun to write and I might make a post about neurodivergent Ravenclaws in particular… Let me know if you have any updates on your House, and if you ARE a Ravenclaw, we’re happy to have you!!!

[birdship]

all of em. have fun, nerdo.

Femme or butch? Soft butch.Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets? Plaid.

Describe your style Tacky and comfortable.

Describe your aesthetic Space, the ocean, birds, robots, cats, the meeting point between technology and nature.

Favorite article of clothing? I have this tie-dyed zip-up hoodie that’s super comfortable and warm without being TOO warm.

Favorite pair of shoes? Uhhh I don’t really have that many pairs of shoes, and the ones I do have I guess I like equally for different practical reasons.

Current haircut? Shitty.

Any haircut goals for the future? Not shitty.

Describe the best date you’ve been on Uhhhh none.

Describe the worst date you’ve been on None?

Single? Taken? In a relationship.

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife! My girlfriend is my best friend of almost 5 years, though we only started… dating? (I guess I can phrase it that way? It’s an LDR) earlier this year. They’re funny and sweet and talented and they understand me and my garbage brain better than anyone else I’ve ever met. And we’re an amazing creative team.

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

Describe your dream wedding It’s autumn or late winter, and the wedding is held outdoors but under cover. Like maybe a gazebo or something. There’s no sound except for the rain pouring down outside, and the guests are wondering where we are. Suddenly, I poke my head in the doorway, smile and apologize and hurry to the altar as some jpop song plays very softly in the background. I stand awkwardly at the altar alone until the song is over and the next one begins… then suddenly there’s a crash! It’s my partner, who has punched through the roof of the gazebo and as they land, the John Cena theme begins to play. The rain soaks through the fancy carpet runner as they join me at the altar. We high five. Then when the priest starts doing the vow stuff, Life is Beautiful from Deadly Premonition starts playing louder and louder until nobody knows what’s even going on anymore. Then everything goes normally and we act like nothing happened.

Do you want kids? Nope.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? Honestly, I’m not sure. There are places that sound appealing, but… I dunno where I would want to settle down.

Favorite lesbian movie? I’m struggling to think of any movie I’ve ever seen that could be described as “lesbian”…

Favorite lesbian novel/story? Can’t think of any novels, and I can think of waaaay too many comics/manga, which is my way of subtly saying that I can’t possibly pick one. So rather than pick a fictional story, I’m going to say the non-fiction autobiographical comic My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness.

Favorite lesbian song? I’m not sure what necessarily qualifies as a specifically lesbian song… but uh… I’ll go with Magnet (yes, the Vocaloid song) or maybe Thao Nguyen’s cover of With A Girl Like You.

Favorite lesbian musician? Uhhhhhh… OSTER Project maybe?

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any? I mean… I’m pretty gender non-conforming in general so like… several of them, lmao. I don’t wear makeup, I have short hair, I own several plaid flannel shirts, I don’t dress in a way that is attractive to men…

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal? No, simply because there’s never been the opportunity.

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that? Send me weird MMD videos.

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian? Girls………. But seriously, uh… I feel like, especially since it took me so long to come out and to stop being in denial, I now understand what I want from a relationship better than I think most straight people do. In coming to terms with my orientation, I did so much introspection and soul-searching about what love and romance means to me, conceptually.

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person? Cat for sure.

Turn ons? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Turn offs? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you? I’ve literally never asked anyone out, so um… probably the latter. I had a huge crush on my best friend for the entire time we’ve been friends, but I was 98% sure they didn’t feel the same way, so I just buried my feelings and felt really insecure and frustrated and hurt about how they definitely don’t actually care about me… until literal years later when they suddenly asked me if I wanted to try the girlfriend thing. And now we both know we both love each other. So that was a long way of saying I absolutely don’t do confrontation of any kind, and I wait in angsty silence.

What is your dream career? What I’m doing now except more and better and with much more success. Also maybe a chill job at a bookstore or an art store on the side. Or opening my own business.

Talk about your interests or hobbies! I draw, write, make games, crochet, dabble in music sometimes, play video games, bird watching, taking photos, uhh… Light hiking? I guess? Not anything as strenuous as the word “hiking” brings to mind, but like… walking in interesting places.

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have? Kindness.

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone? When it’s the right person, I love immediately. That’s… one hurdle my best friend/girlfriend and I hit early on, and I’m glad we were able to move past it. Like… We started talking and I was like !!!!!! WOW !!!!!! new best friend and maybe we could be more than friends in the future??? And they were like “uhhh maybe chill a little, we JUST met”. Like.. I dunno, I don’t fall (platonically or romantically) for people easily in general. I tend to keep my distance. But when I meet someone who I click with, I can come on way too strong sometimes.

Ever fallen for your best-friend? I mean… obviously. Yeah.

Ever fallen for a straight girl? No, because I can’t remember the last time I even interacted with a straight girl. I had a couple fleeting crushes in college, but one was in an LGBT history class full of other gay people (and the person in question was bi and non-binary, I think?). The other one may have been straight, though, I’m not sure… She sure seemed like she was flirting with me, though, idk. But seriously, almost every friend/acquaintance I’ve had any significant platonic feelings for, let alone romantic, has ended up being LGBT even if I (or they) thought they were cishet at the time. Awkward gays stick together, even subconsciously, I guess.

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?) Never seen it.

Favorite comfort food? Bread. Like just plain bread. I love a good plain bread.

Coffee or tea? Coffee.

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above? Neither.

Do you have any pets? Yup. A cat and a bird.

Early-riser or night-owl? Both, which works out about as well as you’d expect. My sleep schedule is a mess. I guess I’d say I’m a night-owl who wants to be an early-riser. Or maybe an early-riser who can’t manage to sleep properly.

What is your sign? Capricorn.

Can you drive? Nope. I have a learner’s permit and I’ve driven in parking lots twice - once as a teen, then once as an adult - but it was too scary and uncomfortable. I should learn to drive, but ugh, I wish I didn’t have to because I really don’t want to.

Who was your first lesbian crush? Uh, I’m not sure. I definitely liked a lot of female characters for reasons I didn’t quite understand as a kid, but I don’t know which was the first or whatever. So instead I’ll just tell the story I told my girlfriend recently - when I was first seriously coming to terms with being attracted to women, I happened to watch the video for BoA - Eat You Up (warning: flashy) and I remember just sorta watching her like… ah, hm, yes, perhaps girls… are extremely hot actually… maybe this is okay.

At what age did you know you were a lesbian? Specifically a lesbian? Uh like 25 or 26. Attracted to girls in general? I was in denial for a long time but I started kinda sorta slightly coming to terms with it around age 19 or 20.

At what age did you come out (if you have)? I came out around 25-26, shortly before realizing that I’m not bi or pan and I don’t have to “stay open-minded” or “give men a chance”.

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)? My girlfriend and Hana (see answer 2) are my eternal, permanent crushes.

Talk about how your day went Pretty boring. I went for a walk and saw two dogs. It rained. It was nice, but not very exciting.

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future I wanna live with my girlfriend and have a studio for working on all our projects, both together and separately. Maybe open a store by the ocean selling art and stuff. I want to keep drawing and writing and making things.

Least favorite gay celebrity? Leaving aside the obvious assholes and transmisogynists… Ellen Degeneres. I don’t hate her, but I’m a little bitter about some shitty things she’s said (particularly fat shaming things).