#also my reviewer absolutely ate my little ass

[clownattack]

I aced my thesis defence with merits and I WILL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT IT (once i had my little rest) tm

[darkpoisonouslove]

HotD S02E03

I watched this on Monday; I just wasn't in the mood to review it until now. I was pretty hyped for this episode because the last one was entertaining and I saw spoilers for several things before I got to it that made me freak out (affectionate). I was hopeful that we'd get something good but wary at the same time since this show doesn't have the best track record... Oh, boy, was I right to be wary. In short, I didn't enjoy this episode a lot. In fact, it's my least favorite from the season so far. And I will tell you in detail my always correct opinions:

I see they've added new imagery to the opening which makes it even better! I love the whole idea that all this history is woven from blood and the fact that parts of the canvas are just bloodied without any embroidery on them only makes it more brutal. It's as if they're saying that there wasn't even any history written there; it was just bloodshed for the sake of bloodshed.

The way that that skirmish in the beginning escalated into an outright battle that claimed so many lives is chilling. I found it odd that the episode was named "The Burning Mill" when that's referring to the battle that happened in the first scene and we didn't even get to see but then the theme emerged as the episode progressed. This senseless bloodshed is an omen of what's to come, of how everyone is going to lose themselves in the war and just continue the massacre without even remembering what started all of this, bringing all of their grievances - petty and justified alike - into the fray and using them as an excuse to unleash their full rage.

In that regard, Rhaenys is absolutely correct. She ate in that scene and I liked that this also contextualized her behavior in 1x09 more (I'm vindicated that she also mentioned Lucerys mutilating Aemond as a factor that led them all here). However, it is also frustrating to hear all this, especially after the scene of reckless bloodshed we already witnessed. It is too late for this conversation. It should have happened in 1x10 when no murders had occurred yet and the bad blood could have been contained. Now it no longer matters.

I have heard enough about Criston getting a promotion he doesn't deserve. It's true but a) it's almost like that was the entire point of him becoming Hand - to show the recklessness and bloodthirst he and Aegon share and b) that's a strange attitude coming from Rhaenyra stans when she hasn't done anything to reinforce her claim to the throne since oh, her half-assed attempt to marry Jacaerys to Helaena in 1x06. Her actions afterwards have harmed her cause and yet, people still insist she should get to be queen.

I dislike how quickly Criston left King's Landing. As Hand his main duty would be to advise Aegon (not that he's doing such a great job of that but regardless) and he's already setting out to go into battle. This could be another argument in favor of why Criston shouldn't be Hand and I could agree with that but I wish they would have spent more time on him trying to adjust to his new position instead of shipping him away to do what he's already experienced and good at doing. I would have wanted to see them explore his character a little by showing him struggle in the role of an advisor and the constant tension between him and Alicent, then used that as his personal motivation to head the charge to the Riverlands to escape the feeling of being a fish out of water, potentially earn Alicent's graces again alongside a victory for their side.

Mysaria singing Rhaenyra's praises was a bit much to me, especially since Aegon has absolutely nothing to do with the arson to her establishment. He wasn't even king yet at that point so that couldn't be counted towards his (lack of) political prowess.

The great paradoxes of the writing for this show continue to amaze me. Such as the way in which the writers try so hard to make Rhaenyra the most graceful, considerate protagonist and somehow they still went all in on her viewing Baela and Rhaena as tools. You're never going to believe that you heard this from me but there was a great opportunity for a perfect scene between Rhaena and Luke and they missed it. Considering that having no dragon seems to be Rhaena's one defining plot line and Aemond "stole" Vhagar from her because Aegon, Jace and Luke were being mean to him, they could have had a scene where Luke realizes how isolating and even hurtful not having a dragon is. It would have made me take a moment to think about him as a character and given more substance to Rhaena's struggles now, especially since outside of her engagement to Luke Rhaenyra appears to deem her entirely superficial. You could say that she trusts Rhaena so much as to entrust her the care for her children but that's not the impression I really got from those scenes. They were certainly trying for it but isn't it funny how Rhaenyra is begging Rhaena to make the sacrifice to "be a mother" to her children after she spent years refusing to make the sacrifice of... backing up her claim to the throne with a suitable marriage? The HotD writers are unparalleled in having their actions blow up in their faces.

The scene of Daemon infiltrating Harrenhal was drawn out to me. We didn't need quite as much ambience from Harrenhal to get the impression of it being a haunting, cursed place when the hallucination from later in the episode conveys that perfectly well on its own. And the lack of resistance Daemon faced was evident in the guard that didn't attempt to fight him already. They could have cut some of that.

Love how they made such a big deal about Daemon insisting on being called "Your Grace" when Alicent was called that during her whole marriage to Viserys and continues to be called that despite the fact that she's Queen Dowager now. Logically, her receiving the title (without ever demanding it) could have never threatened Viserys' or Aegon's rule because she has no claim on the throne while Daemon's behavior comes off as if he's trying to muscle in on Rhaenyra's turf. But I much more enjoy the idea that no one in their right mind wants to give the impression that Daemon would ever even get to sniff the throne while people continue to defer to Alicent with that title because they respect her in her quality of being queen.

I'm at least relieved that they explained why there's a race to claim castle at all considering that Larys is supposed to be the Lord of Harrenhal and he's on the Greens' side. He didn't really care for it, huh? He just wanted to have Alicent stuck in his web and didn't give a shit that the residents of Harrenhal didn't buy his "tragic fire accident" PR campaign.

Speaking of Larys, I was expecting something huge from him after all this material that he got to work with in the last couple episodes and I would still like to see more from him (aka not just a single scene per episode) but at least for now he came out swinging. The fact that he ensnared Aegon to do what he wants of him in the exact same way that he ensnared Alicent has the best, funniest, most tragic implications. With the small difference that he's completely bullshiting Aegon, of course. He just saw a weakness and sank his claws right in it. I was wondering last episode why he only chimed in, interrupting Aegon's outburst when Aegon switched to throwing blame on Alicent, especially since the long pause before that would have been the perfect opportunity to speak up. It was like he was waiting for Aegon to make his way to accusing Alicent, just to make sure that there's tension there. This episode confirmed that he's trying to sever Alicent's control over Aegon and insert himself in that niche of pulling the king's reins. It does make sense considering that he appears to have lost his grasp on Alicent herself and it also doubles as revenge on her.

What even is the dynamic between Alicent and Criston at this point? I knew not to hold my breath but that doesn't change the fact that I need (a) scene(s) between them explaining what the hell is going on, especially in Criston's head. We literally wouldn't have had this problem if they'd taken the time to establish the relationship before jumping right into having them fuck. That said, I did enjoy the callback to 1x01 where Criston asked for Rhaenyra's favor but now he's setting out against Rhaenyra and when he asks for Alicent's favor, she grants it despite her anger at him. The way his mood instantly improves at that is touching.

Good for Rhaenys on still pushing to have Rhaena named heir of Driftmark. Corlys needs to be hit over the head so he can see the vision.

Helaena is also on the "no grieving, we repress our emotions like Greens" train. They are all so emotionally damaged and Alicent can't help them because she's the most damaged of all. (Love how Otto just abandoned her to take care of all the kids and steer them on the right path on her own so that he wouldn't have to face the results of his failure to do the same.) Despite the truth of that, I think there was more to her not comforting Aegon while she's constantly talking about Helaena's pain. She doesn't even seem to mourn Jaehaerys as much as she mourns what came upon Helaena. I'd say that's definitely guilt because she steered this course of events (as much as Otto and the rest of the Small Council). She put Aegon on the throne to protect his life (and Aemond and Daeron's) and in doing so, she set up Helaena to take the damage from the war and the attacks on their family. While with Aegon there's all this baggage of Viserys destroying her life for him (even if she can't admit it) and his entire existence necessitating this course of events and she just cannot make herself even more vulnerable in order to comfort him. Especially since in that moment, she was angry at him and only had helplessness left in her that was crying to turn into violence as we see it happen when Alicent takes out her frustration on Criston.

This also makes me think back to Helaena saying in 2x01 that Jaehaerys may not want to be king. On some level I think that was her trying to rationalize why she couldn't see any future for him in her visions. But it was also an externalization of her own feelings about being forced to be crowned alongside Aegon despite all the danger that brings. They were all trapped from the beginning. Being crowned instantly locks them all - both sides - into war but there was no guarantee that if Alicent hadn't put them on the throne, they would have been spared. In fact, what happened to Jaehaerys only points to the opposite. I believe that's what Helaena is forgiving Alicent for. Because Alicent was so afraid of losing her children that inadvertently she set up for her daughter to lose hers. And Helaena understands the pain that Alicent was trying to avoid so she forgives her.

I wasn't feeling the Small Folk scenes in the previous episode but this one was a fucking disaster. And why? Just so that they could foreshadow the Dragonseeds. Everyone involved in scripting this show needs professional help.

Aegon and Aemond got about a minute of shared screen time and it still brings forth the full force of their internal conflicts and mommy issues. Aegon sure went "Does mommy prefer Aemond? Even though I'm king? Does she wish he were king?" only to go get wasted and revert back to bullying his brother.

Baela engaging in some Daemon-like behavior. I'm not exactly sure what her game plan was, however? If she wished to attack them, she could have made Moondancer incinerate them all. They would already consider this an attack and an act of war so what was the point? Other than not completely disregarding Rhaenyra's orders, I suppose. At least Baela has more self-control than her father.

Daemon really got hit by that train wreck of emotions he was trying to escape from. Love how he found a soul mate in his 15-year-old niece and he cannot bear the thought that she matured and has outgrown him now. He's so pathetic fr.

I was so excited about seeing Alys but she barely got anything in this episode.

I do not wish to hear anymore shit about Criston's plan for Arryk when Rhaenyra's scheme to meet up with Alicent was even more harebrained. Girl, what was your contingency plan in case Alicent had instantly reported your presence to her knights once she left the Septa? She could have ended this war right then and there. It's even frustrating that she didn't but I suppose I can see why.

Alicent has a lot to deal with in this scene. The fact that Rhaenyra made this trip at all and (falsely) believes they can reach an understanding alone probably made her head spin. I'm surprised she didn't look for a paper bag to help her stop hyperventilating. To be confronted with undeniable proof that she grasped at straws for her own peace of mind so that she could avoid the guilt of betraying her husband and steering the realm towards war surely shook her whole world. To the point that she couldn't even process what was happening anymore.

That's the thing though. Rhaenyra has to face the idea that her father gave up on his staunch support for her rule but she only has to live in that reality for a minute. Instead, her big internal conflict resolution here is that the warpath is set and they cannot escape it. Which in a certain way could still shake her belief in herself that has been perpetuated by Viserys' insistence she'd be the one to unite the realm. Because even if she does, she (and her siblings) would have torn it apart first. It could still be a lot to deal with but her struggles are undermined by how late it is for this. I already talked about this but we are several episodes past the point of no return. This scene, the whole conflict they've built up for Rhaenyra in this episode, has missed its mark because it should have happened a lot earlier.

Alicent may be falling into the sunk cost fallacy but she is also completely correct that by this point war is unavoidable. Aegon will never cooperate with Rhaenyra after what happened to Jaehaerys. And to be honest, for how big a deal they made of Rhaenyra's grief over Luke, she sure didn't seem to be having that hard a time putting it aside for this scene.

It's funny how the show is trying to present Rhaenyra as so thoughtful and considerate when she is stubbornly stuck on getting that crown. There is something to be said about how similar she and Alicent are in believing what they want to believe. Yes, Alicent was only using Viserys' misunderstood last words to justify - to herself first and foremost - putting Aegon on the throne and "betraying" her husband and Rhaenyra. But Rhaenyra is also ignoring common sense to believe that "she was meant to unite the realm" just like daddy said. The men of the realm were never going to accept her as queen without a bloody conflict when there was a male heir and Rhaneys warned her of that all the way back in 1x02. Since then Rhaenyra has stubbornly refused to acknowledge the idea that the only way for her to unite the realm without any bloodshed would be to step down (maybe not even then considering how staggeringly willful Aegon is).

I already put out some thoughts on the promo for next episode^ so I'd just like to add that I am enraged by them having Alicent talking about how Aegon's only been king for weeks and the realm has fallen into war. The only reason why the realm was at peace while Viserys was king was that he was alive at all and served as a figurehead since by that point Alicent and Otto had been ruling for years. Viserys himself set up this war when he appointed Rhaenyra his successor and then proceeded to have legitimate sons. He is the one to blame here and it is especially outrageous for Alicent to diminish not just Aegon but herself as well because, like I said, she was the one ruling for years before Viserys died. I can only take this as a result of her conversation with Rhaenyra, an expression of guilt over disregarding Viserys' wishes and putting uncontrollable Aegon on the throne when Rhaenyra probably wouldn't have harmed him and Aemond and Daeron based on her words to Alicent. However, while Alicent is still in shock and processing, she is conveniently forgetting that Jaehaerys was brutally murdered despite Rhaenyra's best intentions. And that should be the reason why she looks like she's deep in depression and doesn't give a single fuck anymore rather than feeling like she's wronged Rhaenyra. The realm would have never been spared war when there are legitimate sons to inherit the throne unless they had been slain. So Alicent did take the only option that she had and she should work up to accepting that but it would be foolish to hope for it with all that we've seen so far. What can I say? It appears that the HotD writers strike again.

[golbrocklovely]

here is my review of bridgerton season 3 part one, episodes three and four

my review of the first two episodes is here, in case you want to read them.

obvious spoilers ahead for part one and the books

episode three - forces of nature

ngl this episode is a little bit of slogfest for me. like the first half is good, but then you get to the second half, and it's just one ball, and it's the whole entire thing for the rest of the episode. and it's just a wee bit boring. but the polin moments in this episode are top notch so it's still a good ep lol

opening up with him having a sex dream about pen??? I KNOW THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT NOT IN YOUR WILDEST FANTASTIES MY ASS COLIN BRIDGERTON

the dream itself also being just him wishing that she would feel the same as him is honestly so romantic and sweet and god i am DYING

colin fucked his way thru 17 cities and ONE KISS from pen has completely altered his brain chemistry. i love LOVE

the scene of him in the drawing room with his family is honestly my favorite scene out of the entire show. i'm not joking. seeing him so uncomfortable and acting weird bc he doesn't know how to navigate hiding his feelings for her (even at just the mere mention of her name)… i love hopelessly in love men and i'm so serious

also awkward colin is the cutest so there's that lol

that pen and el scene…. how dare you shonda. first time i watched it, cried. writing my review rn, cried again. that shit fucking HURTS

polin's scene under the willow tree, fucking top notch. so funny for no reason other than bc nic and luke are amazing actors. 10/10

i just love that he needs to know why she's ending their lessons. like… cmon now colin lol

her saying we can't be around one another for a while and his "of course :\" i'm cackling my GOD

"i talked to pene-" "whatdidshesay???" that man is a love sick puppy and i'm loving every second of it

i love lady danbury. i feel like i haven't said that yet but i really do love her lol

i wish colin would have seen his shitty friends make their snide remarks at pen. i know we see him later stand up to them but god that would have been sort hot to see now…

lady mondrich… gorgeous dress omg

colin being told that his actions will help pen find a husband, and his absolute face of disappointment… the range luke has is staggering !!

colin's nasty look at pen and debling HOW'S IT FEEL NOW BITCH

finding out that the balloon is cgi was crazy to me. like???? what the hell do you mean that's not real?????

walk him like a dog pen !!

side note, his eyes are absolutely fucking gorgeous like… wow.

the whole scene under that tent, him fidgeting with his hands the whole time, him looking so annoyed at her enjoying her time with debling, STARING AT HER MOUTH WHEN SHE LICKS HER FINGERS !!!! 14/10 i love it here

also here is something i need to note: i don't personally think he bought the cake (or whatever he ate) after she bought one so that he could taste what her mouth tasted like, which is what twitter has been saying. i personally believe that pen gave him the cake she bought when she said "wish me luck". bc we never see her eat, but we see him eat. and we never see him buy something. so… i personally believe she gave him the cake, as a sort of thank you, and he just watched her and ate it. which honestly would be weirdly hotter than him just buying the same cake as her and eating one.

the entire interaction between cressida, el, pen, and debling is so awkward i have to skip thru it. genuinely cannot watch it the secondhand embarrassment is killing me lol

why does he pull such a blue steel look after saying "it's good to be back" sksksk

ben and tilly… don't care. so sorry.

fran and samadani… also don't care lol

it's good to be back…………. but what about the debling guy? he seems weird right? lmaooo

colin springing into action seeing that pen could get hurt? HOT

pen basically almost getting hit bc she was staring too much at colin being hot? HYSTERICAL

danbury's brother is FINE holy shit

side note, claudia looks so much like my aunt it's actually a little bit scary lol

pen and cressida racing to debling…. sweetie you had no chance. cressida is built like a gazelle. take it from this short person here, you were never gonna make it sksks

fran and john meeting for the first time. so sweet.

the scene where colin talks about courage, i wonder if the heartbeat is supposed to be his or hers. i think it's her listening in on him and his words and then when she snaps out of it, that's when she goes to speak to debling.

debling's voice… smooth like BUTTER bb. just thought i would say it

el really gets on my nerves with her saying "it's probably for the best" shit. like i get why she's saying it, but again, it comes from such a place of privilege since she's a bridgerton. some of us have to get with a good match, el. god, you're making me feel sorry for cressida???? fuck me

colin and violet's scene together was just adorable. and her realizing he's in love with pen?? OMG I COULD CRY

i also love that the actress that plays violet wanted to be in the background when colin goes up to tell pen how he feels bc she thought violet would want to watch her son do that. these actors are pulling at my heart strings.

colin genuinely was about to kiss her, in front of everyone, and confess his love. WHY CAN'T MEN BE LIKE THIS

that whole scene was so intense and crazy i love it so much 12/10

i kinda feel like pen wanted colin to say something about his feelings. i don't think she had a clue how he really felt, but i think part of her hoped, even for a split second, that he felt the same about her as she did for him.

again, the english audio descriptor coming in clutch: (watching pen and debling dance) "colin's jaw tightens, he looks away… colin's eyes glistens as he watches, enraptured. helpless." LIKE?????????????

episode four: old friends

we all know why this episode is amazing. but we gotta go thru everything else too lol

her sisters literally not believing she could pull debling and she had to blackmail him… they are the worst and i genuinely hope (and know) that when her and colin get married she will have such a happier life without them in it. truly.

colin going back thru his journal, i wonder if we will get to hear more about what he has written, especially in regards to pen.

him wanting to be recluse bc he's heartbroken… my god colin, pull yourself together and go get your girl!

john really is mister steal your girl lol

for all of portia's faults, her speech on men wanting to explain shit to us otherwise they feel useless… she is 100% correct

colin immediately finding pen in any room he walks into I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT

him being jealous of debling and pen together i could fucking cackle

colin watching her thru a mirror GOD KILL ME NOW

i thought it was sweet the way debling asked pen how he should ask to propose to her. while i don't think he's a perfect match for pen, he's a good man regardless.

i want pen to have a love match, and i'm so happy she has it with colin in the end

you know what song would have been great to use? thinking of you by katy perry. such a gorgeous song and perfect for this whole love triangle going on.

i love that colin tries to get over pen but it's just not happening. he is so in love it's hurting ME lol

what i find fascinating about the scene at mondrich's club is that colin's friends are talking about all the women they have had sex with, right? and they ask him, and he brings up the contessa again, but they go on to explain "yeah but you didn't go into detail"… which basically means that even when he's supposed to be a rake and gross about women, he still couldn't commit to the bit. at most he explained that something happened, but then never went on to talk about her in a gross manner or be un-gentlemen like. god i love colin bridgerton with all of my heart.

his whole speech is so sweet and genuine, it's just a shame that so many men that would learn something from it aren't watching this show. that's just a sad fact.

portia is straight up mother gothel. all she wants is power and what good pen can give her by marrying debling. ew.

colin being fussy and not wanting to outright say he was feeling bad… what a baby lol

violet's speech to him just absolutely pulled at my heart. bc that's the thing, while anthony took the burden of being the man of the house and almost resenting his family for having to grow up so fast, colin was the peacekeeper. he was the one that wanted to make sure everyone was okay and happy. and that's what she means by never putting himself first. he doesn't care if he's in a bad mood or not, it only matters how his love ones feel, which is why he does whatever he can to make them happy and proud. and it's just a shame that so many ppl didn't understand that when they first watched and heard this speech.

pen looked so heartbroken watching the ballet. i think that was her accepting that she would never have that.

i love that in the trailer the candle sparks up, meaning that the love for pen is igniting within him. but in the show, it's blowing out, meaning that he's running out of time to confess his feelings. GOD I LOVE CINEMA

colin pushing past his "friends" THAT'S RIGHT BABY GO GET YOUR GIRL

god my heart breaks for pen. i don't get how anyone could say "debling is the better match" for pen when he literally admits that he doesn't think he'll ever love her. pen DESERVES love. so many ppl in her life have never cared or loved her, not in the way she deserves. and yall want her to continue to feel that emptiness? no way.

colin breaking all the rules to talk to pen when he easily could have waited to speak to her after the dance lmaoooo i love a crazy in love man

eros and psyche battling it OUTTTTT

debling realizing why she's at the window all the time. wow.

i kinda love that he was okay with colin being into pen but not pen reciprocating those feelings lol

portia yet again getting worst mom of the year award

the carriage scene…….. THE CARRIAGE SCENE

the first time i watched this scene, i was sweating SO MUCH by the end of it. genuinely it was obscene how hot i was (in more ways than one lmao)

also immediately after its airing, i watched it like 10-15 times. and i haven't seen it in probably over a week and i'm dying all over again for this review.

him running after the carriage, colin bridgerton the man that you are.

even while he is desperate and pleading, he is still kind and asking for permission GOD HE IS SO HOT WHY CAN'T HE BE REAL

his reasons for why pen shouldn't marry debling is laughable but i love it regardless.

his pleading face before he confesses… his EYES?????? you're fucking joking rn

his confession, hands down, is the best in the series. and hell, it's not even the last one he does omg i'm not gonna make it !!!!!

the fact that for a moment he legit thought she didn't love him back was nuts bro you are BLIND

genuinely anytime i watch this scene, i feel like i'm intruding lol like should i leave? maybe i should go sksks

every single shot of them kissing is hot and sexy and romantic and dear god in heaven i am LONELY

her running her fingers thru his hair…. god luke/colin has never looked hotter. he might as well as rolled his eyes back in head lol

it's titty season yall. TITTY SEASON BABY

i implore anyone reading this to find the clip of this scene without the music. not only bc nic and luke's moans are hot, but bc at one point he calls her beautiful and i think in that moment i died.

i think i could genuinely watch this scene 100 million times and notice something new every time

honest to god, one of the sexiest things about this scene is him watching her feel pleasure. like holy fucking shit, that is so hot.

moaning into each other's mouths??? you guys are absolute fucking FREAKS

colin saying the line about the carriage driver is so much better than pen lol

also in general show!colin is way better than book!colin. hands down.

the look colin gives her, both before their little kiss and than afterwards right before he gets out makes me fucking FERAL

him fixing her dress and hair is literally so cute i could cry

that once over he gives her when he gets out of the carriage…. why is he so hot?????

i just love how exhausted he is of her not understanding him sksksk

in conclusion i love love and i love polin. when part two comes out, no one talk to me bc i will in fact be an absolute wreck thank you and good night :)

[cosmicalily]

nayeon - 'na' mini album review + ranking

'something' - when i heard the audio teaser for this, i was immediately SO excited. then when i heard the start of this song, i was even more excited. 'SAY MY NAME' who?? that guitar SCREAMS iconic y2k track. i love this genre for twice (see basics & rush) and i feel like the way this track was produced works SO well for the overall vibe of the album. liquid drum and bass (at least the very simple, dreamy style of it) has become almost a bit overdone in my opinion due to the newjeansification of kpop (not dealing with that here) but the use of the guitar in the background gives it that iconic y2k feeling similar to destiny's child and tlc. i think overall this is a really easy to listen to track, however i definitely did expect a little more from it after listening to the audio snippet. would've loved more of the nayeon rap because that's what i was most excited for!

'count it' - this is so dreamy, it reminds me a bit of 'wishing on you' from jihyo's solo album, which is one of my favs. i love a slow nayeon song that solely focuses on her super sweet, smooth vocals and i feel like it's nice to hear her lower voice for a change too, especially bc jyp absolutely makes her (and jihyo) work overtime with those high ass adlibs in their group songs. this was honestly everything i wanted from this song; slow, an easy listen, beautiful, minimal production that still doesn't feel boring or repetitive, and that ending was honestly my fave thing EVER! could listen to it on repeat, and most definitely will. it felt like the perfect outro song for this album too.

'magic' - that prechorus is SO delicious oh my god! nayeon and julie is literally giving the kpop version of every iconic collab in the 2010s between an insane vocalist and badass rapper (i'm thinking nikki minaj, ariana grande, iggy azalea before she got cancelled lol) however, i actually don't love the chorus as much as i was hoping! it definitely fits the vibe of the song but i feel like it didn't entirely live up to my expectations for it. of course, julie's vocals are absolutely insane, i'll never not go on about them, and nayeon absolutely ate! i feel like this track again matches the late 2000s vibes i'm getting from the album, with a little more this would have 110% been my favourite song.

'abcd' - NAYONCE WHO??? i'm actually not joking at all, this was absolutely what the kpop industry needed. that very typical young, teenager-y y2k concept has honestly been entirely overdone (yk what i'm talking about, every girl group and their mother's been a victim of it welp) so i'm SO GLAD that icons like kiss of life and now nayeon have decided to bring back mature y2k! we need trashy! we need camp! we need intense instrumentals and sassy raps and lyrics! pop was so cute and i adore it for her, but i love seeing the more adult concept for nayeon too, esp bc she's almost 30 now and i feel like she needed something a little more. this feels very very very much like crazy in love by beyonce, which kind of does unsettle me a little, it's not a bad thing but that song is VERY iconic so it feels like a very tricky song to try and replicate even when its done a bit differently, because there's always gonna be comparisons regardless and a song like that just cannot be outdone, no matter how iconic nayeon is. however, it's different to all the recent releases we've had in kpop so imma let it slide. also, i was VERY disappointed by the fact that this track, the TITLE TRACK, was less than three minutes. why tf are ALL of the bsides longer?? the math is not mathing. i was really hoping short song syndrome wouldn't hit 3rd gen kpop but apparently it has, which is actually so sucky. also i highkey hate jyp's promotion methods bc y'all did NOT need to spoil the entire chorus?? like i would've enjoyed this so much more if it was a suprise yk. that felt like a really dumb move especially when there wasn't even a super different crazy end chorus so that felt like a bad decision but oh well. solid title track, 9/10 (-2 for the shortness of the song and promotions). and final thoughts, i feel like jihyo also would've eaten this concept up. after seeing namoji perform 10 minutes, i've been needing them to do a song as a subunit and i feel like this would've fitted them as a trio SO well.

'halligalli' - she's cute, she's bubbly, but not too childish either. she JUST fits into this album's concept in my opinion, and it feels like the classic twice bside recipe (this isn't a bad thing, but it does sound like something i've heard before from twice and it fits into their discography well). however, sticking to the classics isn't a bad thing at all, often if you have all new genres an album can feel daunting and too diverted from the identity you felt the artist was originally showing. so i think this is a very safe but cute track. it'll go on my playlist, but i feel like she's a tiny bit forgettable.

'butterflies' - can someone explain to me why this wasn't on the 'im nayeon' album? because this SCREAMS that concept. it's super cute and very nayeon-esque, but i feel like it takes away from the more mature concept this album was leaning towards? it feels very teenage y2k lovesong, which is super cute, but this album was gearing more towards iconic y2k artists in their adult prime so i feel like this doesn't quite resonate with that. i'll definitely listen to it because it's a good track, but probably not in conjunction with the rest of the album since it doesn't fit my mental vibe for it lmao.

'heaven' - out of the two slow tracks, 'count it' was honestly my favourite. i think its also because this song was fully english and it felt like an overload of entirely english songs in this album, which is lowkey weird for me to say as an international fan, but it feels like twice is trying too hard to globalise its audience and is forgetting about their initial fanbase. like twice has been doing one english track in their albums for a bit now, but even the title track for this album was very english heavy and so were most of the bsides. three out of six bsides were english, and the others still have a lot of english lyrics. anyways, it just didn't stick out to me as much as the other songs, still very sweet and nice to listen to but not particularly outstanding in my eyes. it'll definitely end up on my playlist though!

let me know your opinions on this comeback. i personally adore this image for nayeon and think it was overall a solid album!

[lovesung127]

Golden Age album review

Baggy Jeans-okay first of all the mv is absolutely wild. im like gagged. my jaw was dropped the whole time. probably screamed more times than i'd like to admit. THEY ALL LOOK SO HOT OMGOMGGMOGOGMSAJSDHAIDAJVI. the little insta photo with ten in 7thsense AHHHH. couldn't stop giggling at the bridge part with doyoung. the song itself is so catchy. LOVE LOVE LOVE jaehyun and doyoung's vocals in this song they ate it up. also when mark goes "yea boy" it ignites something in me. the bridge is so good and mark taeyong and ten ateeee. ALSO THE CHOREO IS SOO GOOD I LOVE ITT ESP THE END CHORUS

Call D- okay the intro is cute i love the like game boi sound. ALSO TAEYONGS VOCALS WHAT AHOVDKDKO okayy the chorus is so cute and upbeat i love. reminds me of some krnb song but i can't remember which one. kinda love the outro

PADO- okayy introoo. love taeyong's opening verse and johnny's too! eat it up hendery! XIAOJUNS VOCALS?!?! love haechans part! jaehyun's voice fits this so well. and i love mark's raps! OMFGG THE CHORUS AHASHSJHDSIHVUKV I LOVE IT AHAHHHHSDHHDHFHDVHV bridge is eating. love the whistling too

Interlude: Oasis- omfg is the chenle in the intro bc omg his voice is so heavenly. I LOVE JAEHYUNS WHISPER RAP THING! AND OMFG YUTAA! AND WINWIN AND JAEMINS RAP OKAYY! THIS IS SUCH A NICE COMBO OF RAPPERS OMGOMGOMGM THE CHORUS IS SO CATCHYY AND CVNTY

The BAT- wait i love the intro sounds so dream like. omg jungwooo HSHDSKSDKFDJ omg whoever is syaing "my bat" or something like that in the whisper voice OMFG? JENO AND JISUNG FAST RAPPING GAGGED ME TO MY CORE. WHOEVER THAT WAS ATE. OMFGG THE BRIDGEE AHJOFSJOF THE HIGH NOTES. this is so good. and yuta's vocals ate as he always those. im like dancing in my seat omfg. that was so good

Alley Oop- YUH OKAY! omg yangyang ateeeeee! and jaemin. YEEEE JISUNG OKAYYYYY! YAS JENO! WAIT WHOS DEEP VOICE SINGING IS THAT BC OMGGGG! i love this song its so like football stadium coded. yuta is slaying the vocals. okay slay winwin and hendery! IS THAT JISUNG SINGING?? major ass shaker. THE BRIDGE IS SO HEAVENLY OMG I LOVE IS THAT JISUNG SINGING AHAHAHAHHAHAHH I LOVE IT. i love the whole songs build up. okay adlibbbsss

That's Not Fair- YUHHH TAEYONGGGG! okay jeno and johnny. STOP I LOVE THE SINGING PART OKAY LIKE MARK LEADING AHSDFJFJKJ. like very musical marching! loved tens vocals. YESSSS YANGYANG IS SINGING! i love marks second rap. OMG THE WHISPER RAPPING PART. the melody sounds so familiar but i can't figure it out. i love the low voices

Kangaroo- the intro is cute like show choir vibes IS THAT TAEIL OPENING BC SLAY! STOP I LOVE WHEN YANGYANG AND JISUNG SING. this is such a cute and summer song! love chenles vocals and kun and renjun serveeed! this song is very beach vibes like im imagining sitting on a beach chair and waves are going in and out

Not Your Fault- oooo love the piano intro. YASSS RENJUN. Taeil's voice sound so nice omgggg. doyoung's voice fits this genre so well. ahhh the adlibs sound so good!!! jungwoo's voice sounds so sweet and heavenly and xiaojun's voice sounds so heavenly. the vocal unit atteeee

Golden Age- the switch up from doyoung's vocals to marks rap took me out. i was baffled. but yangyang's rap!!! WINWIN HAS LINES! I LOVE XIAOJUNS VOICE AHHHH!!! the bridge slayed. the mv was also so cool. this song is so coming of age movie ending coded. they all ate!

okay this whole album slayyed! like the members they did for each song all fit each other so well its wild. also their voices all sound so good together AHHH. my favorites are probs baggy jeans, pado, the bat, alley oop, and interlude:oasis is really good too! GO STREAM BAGGY JEANS AND THIS ALBUMMM!

[craw-dacious]

Review of the making of the map by fox_pitch

I'm new to marauders, this is the second fic I've read.

Summary: I liked this fic, a lot. It was a fun read and I really liked the progression of both Wolfstar and James/Lili (is it Jilly? I can’t remember). A bit less angsty than what I usually read and some parts felt underbaked, but the author kept my attention INCREDIBLY. I stayed up about four hours later than I usually do binge reading this. Very good.

SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE BEWARE

Since chapters are shorter ill do bigger recaps infrequently throughout, but still little chapter notes

Chapter one

YES THEY’RE NOT GAY YET

Cannot wait to see this unfold <3333

Aw they’re so cute, definitely a wolf star focus

I hope this goes through seventh year so I can see James and lily play out

Chapter two

Why did I not process its the first day of term thats wild and crazy

Ok so lily still is buddies with Snape which tracks timeline wise I guess

Do they pants him at the end of the fifth or sixth year I can’t remember

I am confused on the lily dynamic tbh what does she think of the group

Chapter three

This one kinda ate, im liking the short chapters I get more invested in each part of the story

Obviously I know they’re not just gonna kill off Peter, but him dying in the shack did cross my mind

I wonder when lupin gets the potion stuff

Chapter four

MURDER MYSTORY??? HOW FUN

I hope remus gets over himself soon how was Sirius supposed to know how intense the situation was bruh

Blanket statement that I apologize for all shitty teenage boy behavior they need to chill

Chapter five

Calling him inbred is hilarious Im liking remus’s pov

Hes gay James stop

Literally he’s gonna go be ur wingman be happy

Good chapter very chill

RECAP FIRST FIVE CHAPTERS

I like the silliness thats been in this so far. I am NOT liking that remus and Sirius aren’t talking to each other. Is it a narrative device? Absolutely. But I despise it so much.

I think Sirius’ characterization is very good so far, I’m surprised they haven’t fleshed out the Regulus stuff more yet. Hopefully will get his pov soon

God I hope this is a save reggie fic cmon

I really hope this passage is the one to honey dukes.

Im sure the plots about to pick up more since they’re actually making the map

Chapter six

If I was lily I would’ve folded so fucking fast bruh

Like I know he’s annoying but like he’s cute, and likes her so much, and is clearly like progressive what is the problem

Anyway, sirius needs to chill if he wants to be gay

Chapter seven

Closet time closet time its time to be emotional in the closetttt

Calling him a cat is funny

Sirius is my fave because he’s also like a fixer upper with issues but he’s not EVILL he just has trauma

And he actually wants to be the best version of himself yk (unlike some dumb ass fucking bitches I know)

Chapter eight

SHE DID NOT JUST CRUCIO HIM

Cradling his head

Sirius licking him

God can marlene just fucking kill herself please

Chapter nine

Honestly there is no world in which I wouldnt feel awkward with my friends jokingly offering to kiss me as a form of like emotional comfort like thats not normal

Like my best friend gave me a big hug after I broke up with my ex she’s not gonna go “oh haha idk what else to do other than make out with you lol lol.” Sirius what the fuck

Anyway I love to see the lily and James bonding but I can tell it makes remus feel lonelier

Wonder if we’re gonna get Peter development at all

Chapter ten

I dont even want to write uodates anymore because im liking the fic too much

Hes so stressed abt being gay I thought he already knew he was gay bruh Sirius is clueless obvi

Chapter 11

JUMPSCARE FANART BAD BAD FANART ITS TERRIBLE

Love how the maps coming together

This is not going over well with Sirius im sure

12

Ok so bed making out

Im so fucking horny I need to make out with someone STAT

Preferably someone with a penis bc it confirms they like me but tbh I don’t give a shit

Its 1:12 am

So it did go over well with Sirius. I expected some internalized homophobia or something but he’s actually being chill for once

OKAYYYYYYY RECAP TO CHAPTER TWENTY ONE 💋💋💋

so i got so engrossed in the story that i forgot to write my chapter notes

but so far i feel fantastic about it

LOVE LILY AND JAMES' DYNAMIC ITS SO GOOD

the regulus thing is making me want to kms. i have like no hope for reg redemption bc the fic isn't long enough, and i feel like all that happens will be the murder mystery and MAYBE gay shit

sirius was SO STUPID with marlene like clearly remus has some issues with being open and you need to like discuss,, not make out with some other bitch

also them both being bi is not what i expected? feel like remus should be gay

peters character is... interesting. why are they friends with him. also he has bo gryffy qualities wtf.

Recap AGAIN but not done yet

Ok, the wormhole shit is interesting. Poor elves.

I wonder what happened to them, is this the in between place or whatever?

They’re being too romantic on the battlefield you gotta lock in guys

Also I thought an avada grazing you killed you no matter what

Also Sirius fully used crucio and nobody like cared other than remus. Like no commentary

WHERE’S JAMES BRUH

Hilarious. Peak comedy. Coming back to life and IMMEDIATELY kissing Lily. Her being grossed out. Literally perfect.

Ok the introduction of the OOTP, seems good.

Honestly really like what I’ve seen in the fic, but it’s a bit TOO silly for my tastes. I need more angst.

Like obviously I want Remus and Sirius to be openly gay and in love but it was too easy in this fic, like with Destiel its always SUCH an issue lmao.

TOTAL RECAP:

I liked this fic, a lot. It was a fun read and I really liked the progression of both Wolfstar and James/Lili (is it Jilly? I can’t remember)

I do feel like it was a little too light at times, there wasn’t a whole lot of grey area morally, and a lot of big issues weren’t fully fleshed out. I wish they’d dived into Regulus more, and Snape. I wish they’d addressed Sirius’ use of the Cruiciatus curse, and I wish they’d address Dumbledores failings more directly

Werewolf shit was fantastic to read, the angst, the fear, the violence, the drama. I thought the transformations were excellently done and I really enjoyed the progression of them figuring out the roaming/playing

Hogsmeade passage shut off? Strange.

I did not enjoy that I cannot be sure they are safe. That’s a benefit of post-hog warts fic, if its truly marauders James and Lily often don’t die.

Overall very happy fic. I did love the aggressive use of drunkness as a plot device, I liked Lily’s characterization for the most part, and it was pretty addicting in the middle.

I thought Characterization was good, not fantastic but definitely good. Peter threw me, not very likable. It’s hard to do him correctly and have him add worth to the story, but I just did not like him the whole time, and I felt like Remus and Sirius both didn’t care for him and found him annoying.

7.5/10 <3

My rankings are not supposed to be biased. Horrible shitty fic would get like a one, something readable but bad would get a fourish. Most fics that I read will be around 7-9 simply because I sort by Kudos and get recs from misuss so they’re better quality to begin with.

Great light silly read, with just enough depth to keep it interesting. I could see myself re-reading this fic once I get to know the marauders better.

Also, I do not like the fanart in this fic but I'm sure that's not universal. The artist is credited within the fic but I'd like to tag them here just to acknoledge the hard work that went into it. I checked them out and ADORE some of their other work, this one was just not to my liking. They have some percy jackson shit up that EATS.

@komodokai on instagram

[cantbrowsewithoutaccount]

Star Wars Jedi: Battle Scars spoiler review

Let me start off by saying I love the game and finished it only recently, with the characters still fresh in my mind. I was excited about the book. I ate it up. 

Do I love the book? No. But I don’t hate it either and I don’t think it is terrible.

The characterization in this book is good, great, even. It lets you live in the character’s heads and see the world through their eyes. Their internal dialogue is fitting, especially Cal’s in my opinion. He is headstrong, stubborn even, devoted to a point of recklesness. His world has a bit of humour in it, too, and I though it wasn’t misplaced. He’s had this little spunky side of him in the game, too. Love it. 

There are some great points of conflict in this book. The fact that the Mantis crew is not as united in spirit as some of its member may think, something I suppose will tie into the second game where we don’t see the group together. There are wonderful moments of debate and fears and how each character deals with it. I liked it. Greez has an important moment and is not overshadowed, he’s given a proper voice as he should. Not just being shelved at the pilot seat all the time. Cere is being pivoted towards her position in the next game (trailer) and her behaviour is belieavable. I liked that Cal is still unfinished in a sense, he sees himself as a weapon, as a brute force that he wants to have a purpose, and he’s decided it’s to defeat the empire. He goes far enough that sometimes you wonder if he is still a Jedi or just a vigilante with a lightsaber. I like that. And I think the book gave him enough foundation to build into this idea - this unfinished, unpolished Jedi who’s left to his own devices to decide what being a Jedi even is or means.

Saying that, I am not a fan of making Cere his new Master - his new mentor. She even calls him a Padawan in one scene. Have we forgotten that Cere herself knighted Cal a Jedi knight? He’s grown past this trauma and became a man, that was the entire point of the first game I thought? And his behaviour seemed to reflect this, he was confident and took on this “leader” role in a lot of instances, clear signs of growth. I wanted to see a lot more about his knighthood, maybe see it brought up in moments when he doubted himself. Also, why does his ass have to be saved all the time? He’s very capable. He’s much stronger than at the beginning of his story. I wish he had more agency in his own book.

And this brings me to a point I wanted to make: this really isn’t much of a Cal’s story. He is in it, but the main focus is on Merrin. This isn’t wrong on its own, she is a very interesting character and I desperately wanted to know more about her. Do I feel like her characterization is good? Yes. I do. I don’t mind her being this easy-to-crush passionate person. I don’t mind her loving easily and I understand her trauma tied to Dathomir. But... she can’t talk about it with Cal? Really? Saying she felt connection to Fret because she let her be angry felt a bit too convoluted and just... stupid. Cal who is known and even described as this amicable, sweet, compassionate guy was not someone Merrin could confide in? I understand the point that the Jedi want to feel peace, and him and Cere have moved on, and I’m glad that this is not retconned by the novel, but Cal absolutely felt fear and fury and was angry. He would understand. He would help, not just worry for Merrin in the background. Am I a bit mad that he was not the one Merrin felt connected to so strongly? Yes. They even mention that they have a connection but just don’t ever expand on it.

I am getting a bit side tracked. New characters: Fret. Her girlfriend. I don’t mind them and I think they served the story just fine. There were not very interesting to me personally, I couldn’t really connect with them. But I think that is my fault, because my headcannon of Merrin and Cal being together kept knocking on my skull whenever Fret was there. I won’t like a character just because Merrin sleeps with her and Cal can’t help but “like her”. Why? Why should I like her? You gave me nothing but a conflicted romantic interest that you tried to hide behind cheesy descriptions of her body. Calling her “beautiful” and “hot” won’t change my mind: I wanted to throw her out of the airlock.

The romance: it felt rushed. It felt too much like a fanfiction. It made me blush and I audibly said “Noooo, they didn’t.” a few times. Was it fun? For sure. Was it fitting to the story? No. I am not one to shy away from smut, I love a good romance story. But this is a Star Wars story. About family, about being lost and about finding your connection to the outside world and someone in it. The game set a standard, a higher standard than we are unfortunately used to by Disney, and it was this beautiful, deep story that you could relate to. These raunchy parts in the book made it feel... childish, cheapened. I can understand the connection between Fret and Merrin, even if I don’t agree with it, without hearing about their plush lips and reading description of Fret’s tight and ripped bod. Cal being a dumbass and mistaking Merrin’s hickey for a bruise from a fight? What? There is a place for these stories, and it’s on ao4, not in the official novelization. It is not wrong - it is just so, so out of place that it is jarring. I would much rather hear Merrin’s internal monologue and know more about her history - her world of Dathomir and her Magick. I liked that she was losing her “fire”. I liked that she found a way how to gain it back. But it could have been done more gracefully.

This is my main point with this book. It reads like a fanfiction. It is nice to read and easy, you rush through it like a lightning. But is that it? So many phrases and descriptions in this pulled me right out because I recognize them from smut oneshots.

+ I do have to say that I liked the battle scenes - the combat felt fluid and nice to follow.

I also kind of like the story, even when you know from the start that it has to be something without real consequence or payoff, because it is hard to fit something in between “official” stories without overshadowing what they’ve already got going on. It was good for what it was, I liked how the story tied together. There were some rough spots - Is nobody worried about the fact that someone can track the Mantis for weeks? An Imperial? The weird bird dude? Are we gonna talk about that?

Cal feeling these tinges of jealousy without giving them a name was nice. I like the idea of him being so fiercely protective, so lost in his idealogy that he hasn’t even thought about romantic love, but is slowly coming around to it. He’s getting curious. His and Merrin’s relationship is so sweet and supportive, and I do enjoy that this Merrin’s story still does not rule him out like a potential love interest, because I really do wish to see that happen. This clash of cultures and idealogies is such a rich field and I want desperately for something to grow there, tall and strong.

Maybe in the game. Maybe in the game. But not in a “make out in the fresher” kind of way, please. No more.

The book leaves us at a set up for the game while not really answering much about Merrin or anybody else. It is fun, it is definitely not terrible. But it just leaves me with higher hopes for the game.

Number rating seems very limited but if I had to, I’d give it 6/10.

[harryfeatgaga]

Don't Worry Darling Review!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

OKAY SO right off the bat, amazing cinematography and the score and soundtrack are incredible like seriously two of the best parts of the movie hands down. The visuals and aesthetic were just fucking stunning I'm obsessed and Palm Springs was truly the perfect place to have filmed it in.

The fucking costumes!!!!!!! Oh my god it deserves awards honestly they were so good and just added to the whole aesthetic and vibe of the movie 10/10. Harry in suits will always be sexy I fear.

Harry my beloved.........he acted his fucking ass offffff!!!! Like obviously I'm gonna think he's amazing no matter what but he truly did such an amazing job he played to extremes of his character and delivered what was needed every time. Like I was very aware for the first half that I was watching Harry Styles up there on the screen but the second half of that movie.....just wow.

Chris pine…..he was absolutely perfect for Frank. Everytime he spoke I got chills and was honestly so fascinated and interested to see what he was gonna say next like he was so believable I'd join a cult or something if he was the leader tbh. Him and Gemma together….wow stunning 10/10 Gemma was fucking incredible. I wish she had a bigger role but every scene and line she fucking DELIVEREDDDDD. And I was just in awe of her beauty everytime she was on screen.

Florence ate of course. The iconic frown/pout came out many times which always serves. She truly gave the performance of a lifetime (sorry syd stole your quote but it's true) like you felt so bad for her and was rooting for her the whole time and again especially the second half. Random but her hair looked incredible the whole time.

Like her or not but Olivia is a good actress and director. Her character was fucking hilarious and so good, and a lot of the times the comedic relief tbh, and the perfect counterpart to Alice .This movie isn't perfect as pretty much all aren't but it was so good it kept me on the edge of my seat and even though I had a general idea of what happened there was still so many parts I physically gasped out loud, covered my hand over my mouth and was just fucking shook.

Kiki was amazing wish she had been in it more she is so stunning I couldn't look away, she was incredible.

Nick Kroll im in love with you.......he was also hilarious him and the perfect husband to olivia's character and I wish he was in it more as well.

Asif also fucking hilarious and yet again wish he had been in it more but every scene he had was so funny lmfao this movie was way funnier than I thought it was gonna be. It was a good mix.

I'll put my closing statement here for those who don't want to scroll to the spoilers BUT overall I really fucking loved it. As a psychological thriller, horror and just movie fan this movie delivered exactly what I wanted and more. I knew I would like it either way but truly so relieved like I actually genuinely loved it and was so entertained and on edge the whole two hours.

AND HARRY WAS FUCKING RIGHT IT'S A MOVIE THAT FEELS LIKE A MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***************************************************************

THIS PART CONTAINS SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT DO NOT READ!!!!!!!!!!!

***************************************************************

Harry.............he was literally a whole husband like i believe all the little things he did is shit he does irl and i want to DIEEEEEE

THE FUCKING FIRST CAR SCENE WITH HIM AND FLORENCE….HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS THE MOST PAINFUL PART FOR ME BY FARRRRR HE WAS SOOOOO FUCKING CUTE AND SUCH A HUSBANDDDDD OH IM DEVASTATEDHFDJHJIK

The scene where alive and bunny are talking to frank and shelleys kids was so fucking funny like the okay bye bye! and the 'they probably sleep upside down' KILLED ME NFJBHUJDJK

The fucking......Bath scene……my fucking god the thoughts running through my head when he ever said 'lets have a baby, I want more of you, a little you' etc......I WAS SHAKINGGJNGJK!??!?!?!?

The party and tap scene was so fucking iconic like harry was tapping his ass off!!!! tap dancing king!!!

THE CAR SCENE WHEN HARRY'S SCREAMING BROKE MY FUCKING HEART HE ACTED SO WELL some people might think his sorrys and that weren't good but like he's acting like he's upset that shes getting taken away which im sure he is but also hes upset because of what this could mean for him and his job and life etc....the layers im just....I was so impressed with him.

Would love to just know more backstory especially around Jack and Alice like why did jack lose his job how did he get alice looking like that JNFGHUJCI and the song??? did he make that up as he was setting up the simulation or whatever or is that just a song of theirs they sang to each other like???? and also would love to know about bunnys back story especially the kids??? and how she knew the whole time that was crazy I did not see that coming at all!!!

The last like 30 mins of that movie are fucking insane like i was gasping out loud every few minutes i was SHOOK and like......that was not my harry I was blown away obviously he looked not himself at all those scenes were fucking crazy but even when he was jack in that last scene......holy fuck!!!!!! AND I DID NOT SEE WHAT ALICE TO HIM COMING AT ALLLLLLL LIKE OH MY GOD?!?!?!??!

[ofstormsandfire]

Wh. What's the Incident.

Alright. Buckle the fuck up, my lasses and lads and nonbinary chads. Today we're hearing about:

THE INCIDENT

(or: how Hope's opinion on coffee went from "will drink in emergency" to "ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT")

Picture a slightly babier Hope. Tiny and loud as hell, this little blonde bespectacled sophomore girl (for non-Americans, I was around 16) filled with the hubris that discovering high school theater had brought me and taking too many AP classes. That year, I took two, out of... thirteen total? (And I passed most of them, to the detriment of most of my mental health. Kids, don't take AP classes, or at least not the amount that I did.)

Obligatory fuck College Board, moving on.

That year, I had AP US History, and AP Music Theory, in that order. Both tests were on Fridays, the second a week after the first. This is important because the final review project the teacher for music theory was having us due was due a week before that exam.

This would have been a nonissue, except that this is me and I either get my work done weeks in advance or I'm procrastinating at the last minute. The smart thing to do would have been the former.

Obviously, because this is me we're talking about, I did the latter. If memory serves I'd finished the actual project with plenty of time to spare for a good night's sleep, but my mother's printer chose then to stop functioning halfway through printing it. (It was a themed study guide, I had a lot of fun making it and a lot less fun printing it.) I ended up staying up way later than usual, and by the time I finally cut my losses and went to bed...

...well. Getting up at ass o'clock the next morning, in order to drive nearly an hour to my high school for an AP exam starting at 8 AM... was suddenly looking even less appealing than usual.

It'll be fiiine, I thought, dragging myself out of bed like a zombie. I'll just chug some coffee. Tastes like shit but hey, Mom drinks it all the time and she only gets tired suddenly and coincidentally when I want to do something fun with her, so what could go wrong?

(A lot of things, as it turns out.)

(Also, babier me had yet to realize the depth of how fucked up the woman who birthed me was, and how much she'd fucked me up, but this ain't about her.)

So. Ate breakfast, yoinked a travel mug full of the coffee Mom drinks, and chugged it on my drive to school. That alone wasn't too bad, though I was getting a bit of a stomachache. I'd had worse, though. Besides, it was exam day and I didn't dress up as a lesbian cowboy with my then-crush for this class to not come out of it with the college credit I so rightly deserved.

Really, though, if a stomachache was the worst I got out of chugging a mug of crap-tasting coffee, I probably wouldn't have sworn it off for good. I would have relegated it back to the spot it had held up 'til then, which could be summed up as "drink in case of emergency."

I wasn't feeling too tired by the time I got to school. In fact, I was feeling like maybe I could actually do this. But I knew I'd crash eventually, and I did not want that to happen during the roughly four hours worth of exam ahead of me, and so I made a decision that would get me hubris-checked hard.

Y'see, some kind souls (mostly our teacher, who we'd all dubbed Mr. Bro because that's what his actual name shortened to and he was, in fact, quite chill for a history teacher at that school) had brought breakfast for our class. Which was good, because I hadn't eaten much at home, and was bad, because breakfast included some coffee from Starbucks. I didn't even know they sold it in containers you could fill smaller cups from. Apparently they did.

Within the... roughly half an hour, give or take a few, that I had before the exam started, I refilled my travel mug and drained it again twice. By then, well. I was feeling a little jittery, but I figured it would go away eventually. Jitters were good, right? Jitters meant that I'd be faster at taking the test.

The moment of truth, after a frantic thirty minutes spent desperately reviewing via Kahoot and chugging Starbucks coffee that tasted marginally less crappy than whatever my mom made, finally arrived. We all shuffled off to the gym. Made sure we had our number two pencils and water bottles and everything.

I walked into the gym...

...and then I woke up at home, in my bed, the next morning.

I did piece together what had happened later from context clues. According to my friends, I'd acted normal enough after the exam, if really, really, really jittery. And obviously I did okay enough in the exam, because I got a 4. (Scores go from 1-5, with anything above a 3 being a pass and usually only 4s or 5s being good enough for college credit.)

But, y'know. Funny thing, I don't like not remembering what I did! Even if it was probably a whole lot of mind-numbing boring shit that my brain probably did me a favor by forgetting. I'll probably be a blackout drinker, which I fully intend to test once I turn twenty-one in the safety of my own home with my dad, the Lord of the Rings trilogy of movies, and a TV Tropes drinking game I've had bookmarked in anticipation of that moment for as long as I can remember.

But, uh, yeah.

That's why I don't drink coffee anymore, ever.

Because I'm a blackout coffee drinker, and it seems incredibly ridiculous to type it out now, but. That sure was a thing that happened. In fairness, that probably also happened because I chugged so much in such a short period of time, but like... it doesn't even taste good? And it tends to make my stomach hurt.

It's probably the wildest story I've heard for someone not drinking coffee, but I'm sure someone else somewhere on the internet has a wilder one.

[formulinos]

Hyperfixation Corner | Review: Jacques VIlleneuve's Private Paradise

as a little celebration for my incredible mark of 300 followers, i wanted to do a very neat, very special hyperfixation corner! but since we're running on so little time and i'm very slowly doing my research for what i actually want to devote a long time, i decided to dive in the strange little world of jacques villeneuve for this small review of his 2007 cultural reset album "private paradise". i honestly am stunned. if you enjoy music, don't click in the jump after the cut tbh. but hey, you know you are curious to hear more about it!

(what the fuck! 300 followers!!!! thank you all SO VERY MUCH)

First of all, it's important to highlight that as much as this album SOUNDS as if it was done in 48 hours, it wasn't. Jacques started composing songs seriously (but as a hobby) in 1996, when he got into F1 (according to himself). He also took to himself to learn the piano in 97, so you know, he showed some affinity to music. In fact, as practically all three album reviews at the time will tell you, Seville Villeneuve was a piano teacher - hopefully not like Isabelle Huppert in that film - and taught it to Gilles, who also knew how to play the trumpet, very well if I say so. I'm gonna embed a video of it straight away because it's how I want to waste tumblr's one video rule:

Very nice. Anyway, his son Jacques started properly composing around 2000, taking five more years to decide to record some of those during Christmas. The madlad actually liked what he heard and, to be honest, driving for Sauber, he had enough time to devote himself to make a full LP. He got his sister, he got a bunch of friends, and he did 13 songs that I will never be able to forget in my life. After realeasing his first promo single "Accepterais-Tu ?"during the 2006 Canadian Grand Prix weekend (more on that later), Private Paradise was released to the world, and I'm sure that the 233 copies that were sold were very well enjoyed!

note: honestly, although it's pretty clear by now this is not a good one, i would like to put out a disclaimer that my own taste in music sucks. i'm not like The Other Girls, i listen to indie music, like arctic monkeys XD i also didn't get Sour, i'm honestly not proud of it because olivia rodrigo seems very dedicated to her aesthetic and her work and i wish i could enjoy it but it's not my type. basically, don't take music refs from me and don't believe that bc i didn't like it it means that if you did your taste in music suck. also tag your taylor swift i'm tired of everytime she releases a song you guys find a way to make graphics and parallels w her songs. 

Track 1 - Foolin’ Around: The second the album started playing and I heard the claps, snakes started manifesting in my house. It's never a good sign when a song starts with the beat in a folk rock album, and the guilar strums confirmed it. It's... derivative, it's incredibly generic, the lyrics are as deep as when I tried to learn bass guitar when I was 13 because I wanted to start a band after I listened to "A Hard Day's Night". But here's the thing, I knew when to stop, and this song didn't. It goes for too long, and the decision to repeat the WHOLE FUCKING THING after changing the pitch and a weird ass guitar solo is horrid. TBH all the songs in this are weirdly long, the whole album clocks at 54 min. Jacques would legit have benefitted from the Streaming pattern nowadays of 2 min 30 secs songs. 

Track 2 - You Are: He thought he ate with his vocals here, he really did and it's even heartbreaking. If Foolin' Around shows he doesn't know where to stop, You Are is the first evidence he didn't even know where to start (singing lessons). As always, the lyrics aren't deep at all, but it doesn't even matter bc it's kinda entertaining to hear him feel himself over his long notes. He struggles so much they had to resort to backing vocals in the same volume as the main ones... Absolute highlight to me!

Track 3 - Father: OK, they got me on this one. In fact, Melanie Villeneuve is the MVP of this album. As the title says, this is the Gilles Tribute Song, and to be fair, lovely. Melanie's voice is incredible, she conveys the emotion perfectly and hey, I'm not gonna slag off Jacques for not singing as well with his sister when you know, once you read the song lyrics, you can tell it's equal parts trying to honour and love their dad while also kind of dealing with the feelings of resentment for him not being there and for sometimes racing too hard and having to share their own grief with the legends of F1 fans who lost an idol. Fair play. I miss Gilles.

"It's a very important song. It's the only personal song on the album. I don't write personal stuff and I don't want to sing personal stuff either, but this one, because it's with my sister, I'm quite happy doing it."

Melanie singing 'Father' in the album launch, February 2007.

Track 4 - Tout Dire: Thankfully, Melanie's on-track involvement ends in Father and I can talk shit about Jacques in peace again. This one is iconic, tbh, he served it here. The whole gist of it is how some girl hurt routinely his feelings and he can’t act the same way as if nothing happened anymore. I think that his voice works better in French - barely but at least this song is more complex than the other two and feels less dated, or maybe French just matches the old people vibes of this album.

Track 5 - The Ones:  HONESTLY! FOR FUCK'S SAKE! This album is such a flop that there isn't a digitalised booklet anywhere and I almost considered buying a copy so that I could get more info on who else was involved in making this, but no one is selling this in here. If there isn't a single listing of your album in Brazil, you flopped. Anyway, the woman singing in this is Ely Breton and you need to put some respeck in her name because she sang for Cirque du Soleil's Delirium spectacle short after this. Lovely gal. Hate the song.

Ely killing the competition, same album launch in February 2007. There was literally one presentation of this ever and I beg them to #ReleaseTheVilleneuveCut

Track 6 - Accepterais-Tu ?: Jacques really listened to this once and said "I ended everyone's careers. This will be my lead single" and he thought it would be a good idea to release it BEFORE THE CANADIAN GRAND PRIX. This is where he lost the battle to Kubica, sincerely, if I was a backup driver I'd clown Jacques too. BMW Sauber probably talked to him after the German GP like "bruh honestly you can't come back. It's not because you're driving lazily and crashing the car all the time, it's because your song is complete wank". Even Steve Rider and Mark Blundell take the piss of him in this pre-race feature.

About the song itself: the thing about his French songs being more complex absolutely bites him back in the ass when he overdoes it. It's catchy, but in a way you wish brain bleach was a real thing and to make matters worse, he struggles SO hard with his vocals. If this was an IRL marriage proposal it would become a r/relationship_advice post in 2 months time.

Track 7 - Why Did You Come ?: IDK either dude. Again, it took me forever to find who is the milf singing in this with him and after quite a bit of googling, it seems to be Amélie Veille, who has a nice career it seems. Stream one of her songs instead. This one is completely forgettable and I got so tired looking for Amélie I forgot to write how I feel about it.

Yes. February 2007.

Track 8 - Vaguement: This is so dramatic and pointless... I don’t get the violins.. the Spanish Guitar vibes... the weird ass music video.... the way it's so long but then when it ends you’re like “what? now???"........ who did this.... electric chair...... my behated.....

Track 9 - Lullaby: I don’t know what overtook me, probably the hatred for Vaguement, but this one… was not so bad. Honestly, this wasn’t as much of a chore and it even gave space for some theorising because if you listen to it (and you are totally in the right not to), it sounds more of an adieu to F1 than a standard love song. Might also be quarantine brain but I feel like I’m realising things here and Mr. Villeneuve lied when he said Father was the only personal song in this album. All good work he did here was thrown out the window when he struggle vocals during the guitar breakdown and I found myself thinking of the superior Lullaby by The Cure. 

Track 10 - Private Paradise: 

It’s the title song and it absolutely fucks. Why lie for the tl? At this point I might have borderline Stockholm Syndrome but really, he looked camp in the eye and it looked back and they didn’t mind. He made an effort, it was cheesy and he embraced it. Let him have his little Coldplay moment! If there were more songs like this the album would have been more torelable. I absolutely hate how much I enjoyed this one

Track 11 - Étrangers: He bottled it but I am still under the effect of Private Paradise so I don’t even mind it. Again, another voice of an uncredited woman and unlike the other three, I can’t confirm nor deny who it is. I saw one single link that credited it to both Jacques and his half-sister Jessica (who if my math isn’t off was around 13-14 when they recorded it, such a prodigy!) but I failed to find anything on song credit databases.

Track 12 - Women Come Women Go: We get it Jacques you are sexist. I swear I laughed OUT loud at how he tried to rhyme “women” with “one man” KDJJSJSJJS PLEASEEEEEEEE not when the women featured throughout this mess didn’t save your day! Fuck off!!!!!

Track 13 - Mother Earth: FULL CIRCLE! THIS IS AS BAD AS THE FIRST SONG! If Lewis and Seb heard this ode to snow (Canadian or Swiss? It matters less than you think!) they would give up on all environment causes. Pair this with the Incel Manifest we just listened to and we can call it a Certified Jacques Moment. He’s so crazyyyyy I love him XD Oh, and the choir did their best!

Overall, I’m gonna grade this a 4/10 because I love Gilles. Basically, a 10 to all the women in this and a complete zero to Jacques. HOWEVER, I do have to cheer him on for the absolute balls it took to record this seriously and pursue his hobbies and while it does suck, again, I don’t think I would be able to do any better. Plus, it wasn’t just Jacques who went wrong here… several people listened to this and thought it was good enough to release it. Blame them equally!!! I think that if he did a sophmore album today, he would be better equipped. Good luck Jacques, don’t give up on your dreams and ignore the haters! To the rest of you lovely people that support me, thanks a lot and see you hopefully sooner than it seems! Screw you guys, I'm going home :D

[saikikissuo]

For the model Saimami and Oumota au, do it. Do it you coward. Feed me with headcanons and I will slurp them.

smirks and rubs hands together

for oumota, kokichi is actually a semi-popular streamer who plays genshin and minecraft a lot

he’s popular because he’s deceitful as fuck on minecraft and he’s insanely good at genshin

electro user kokichi..thoughts

but anyways kokichi used to never do facecam but soon enough he started to warm up to the idea and later, he began to do facecam when he was comfortable :)

kokichi lives alone, his fans are aware of this ( thanks to a q&a )

but every now and then his chat would hear some shuffling around in the background and doors shutting and they’d be like Wtf

kokichi is like yeah my apartment is actually haunted

everyone just kinda brushes it off

until One day.

kokichi is playing genshin or whatever and his facecam is placed to where the door of his bedroom is visible

they’re chilling honestly. just vibing

all of a sudden the bedroom door opens and in steps this TALL DARK AND HANDSOME MAN

chat loses their shit because WHOOO??!?:?$:)3?

he’s stepping in to ask kokichi where his hair gel is. because he stole it of course

kokichi kinda regrets it because then he’s gotta play this off with his chat

it wouldn’t be THAT bad if the mysterious tall dark and handsome man didn’t go “thanks, babe!” before walking out

kokichi is sick and tired.

when he turns back to look at the chat they’re all going bonkers

you could really only see his legs and his chest, but it was still a stark contrast to kokichi nonetheless

kokichi almost blushed on stream. almost

“yeah guys that was uh. that was the ghost”

“..why did he call me babe? the ghost and i have a very intimate relationship that’s why”

later on twitter he reveals that yes, the ghost is in fact his boyfriend

and that just made everything ten thousand times more chaotic

“KOKICHI’S BOYFRIEND IS KAITO?? THE MAGAZINE COVER MODEL????”

“yeah poggers isn’t it”

kaito makes appearances on his stream and it’s so cute because he sucks ass at genshin but finds every discovery on minecraft amazing

“KICHI LOOK THE DOG IS FOLLOWING ME AROUND”

[ while killing creepers around their house ] “yeah, they do that kaito”

and now....saimami....

saimami have a slightly different story

rantaro games sometimes but he’s also just kind of a lifestyle youtuber

his channel is very diverse

he does fashion reviews, travel vlogs, and gameplays!

his travel vlogs used to include just himself, but for a while he settled down in japan because he was Tired so it’s been gameplays and fashion vids from there on out

he met kokichi that way, actually

anyways, before he officially settled down in japan he would make travel vlogs on visiting the sights and all that good shit

but after a while..there would be a special guest who would always hide his face when the camera was on him

they called him rantaro’s goth bf and he would always blush and say that they “weren’t wrong that he might be a little goth, but we’ll see”

rantaro would often play video games with his friends and on streams, he would pause for a moment to look off to the side and speak super softly

everyone thought it was so cute..like they’d never heard rantaro do that before until then and it would appear in rantaro compilations on youtube HAHAH

that’s how people ended up thinking he had a partner though, because sometimes he would just look away from the stream to mumble goodnight or to say bye

later on, he finally made it public that he did in fact have a partner!!

they had recently moved in together and thought it was only appropriate to tell the Fans

he had a boyfriend who said he was a little nervous being on camera so he would just. stick his hand in front and wave sometimes

“his name is shuichi, but save all the cute nicknames for me. he won’t be joining us that much”

“give me all the cute nicknames and call rantaro ugly ones he deserves it cause he ate the yogurt i left in the fridge”

he’d say hi and start little banter with rantaro on occasion but that’s kinda all they got

until...One Day

on stream rantaro was going over some recent purchases, showing off some new clothes and bla bla

what’s new though was that he said he had a new model to help him show off the clothes

he called shuichi in and turned the camera to face him wearing one of the oversized jackets he got ( which looked absolutely precious on him mind you )

once again chat went BALLISTIC

because??? although he looked different they KNEW who that was

shuichi saihara, also known as one of the most-appearing models for top-quality suits and other formalwear for multiple brands

alongside kaito he was one of the more popular models you see on magazine covers

rantaro’s chat was going BONKERS

“WDYM SHUICHI IS RANTARO’S BOYFRIEND.....”

“pain.”

“are we surprised. rantaro is gorgeous”

“i have seen two pretty boyfriends”

so on and so forth.

shuichi noticed all of the comments and laughed a little bit

mainly because he felt a little nervous but rantaro just told him it was okay

“this basically means they like you”

“oh..well..i’m glad. :)”

chat explodes with little heart emojis and kissy faces

everyone is in love with shuichi saihara. everyone

not to mention that he and kaito often appeared together

plus rantaro and kokichi would stream together sometimes???

everyone gets psyched whenever they stream together and it is so cute

unlike oumota, rantaro doesn’t intentionally fuck up shuichi’s vibe when he’s teaching him how to play a game

like genshin, for example

funny thing is, i think shuichi would immediately have better luck and would be way better at rantaro at some games almost instantly

“okay shuichi so to get all of them at the same time y-“

[ all of them are dead by the time he finished the sentence ] “don’t worry i’ve got it”

rantaro..is strangely endeared by that

i like to think that people often tweet at kaito and r like “when are we getting a photoshoot with you and kokichi!!”

and kaito is like “kokichi will step on my toes mid shoot and i will cry. i’ve given specific instructions to not let that man anywhere near our photoshoot locations”

both couples have their own kinds of photoshoots anyways

oumota takes photos of their vacations, going out to meet up with rantaro and shuichi during the summer time

shuichi takes photos of he and rantaro together while they’re baking and the final results

shuichi is not good at baking. rantaro is.

either way..oumota and saimami in this au are friends and they are BEST friends. no further comment!

[onlydreamofmysoul]

Totally Worth It

The updated links for this series! (Ye’re probably so sick of me saying they can be read individually but I’m gonna say it once more anyways)

In the dark of the night

The best laid plans

Absolutely, unconditionally

What in the name of Merlin

Stand by me

Improvisation

Who would have guessed

Summary:  Nail varnish, trickery, leather jackets and bell bottom jeans. Just a regular Tuesday in the Gryffindor common room.

Oh my god Lily, you have to see this!” Sirius cried almost toppling out of his chair in his attempt to cross the common room to Lily. James, Remus and Peter all raised their eyebrows and exchanged confused looks, none of them having any idea what could have brought about such an outburst.

It was just a normal Tuesday evening in the Gryffindor Tower; first years were panicking over due assignments, the fire was crackling and the Marauders were plotting. They had decided their next trick would be to transfigure all of Dumbledore’s robes into the latest muggle fashions, so naturally Sirius had been flicking through one of Marlene’s magazines for inspiration. That had been before the outburst. Now the three other boys were left just with a piece of parchment containing several question marks and the words ‘flared jeans’ and ‘tie dye’

“Woah Sirius, slow down, you’ll run someone over.” Lily teased as the Black boy skidded to a stop in front of her.

“No time for that!” He cried as he frantically pointed to a picture in the magazine. “Have you seen this?”

Lily’s brows furrowed. “This? You mean the nail varnish?”

Sirius nodded his head as Lily laughed. “You’ve never seen nail varnish before?”

A couple of muggleborns near them giggled and Sirius raised his hands in a defensive stance.

“Hey it’s not my fault that pureblood families don’t go anywhere near muggle products.”

Lily bit her lip but she was still smiling. “Of course Sirius, you’re right, I’m sorry. I don’t have any here with me but I can owl my mother for some if you’d like?”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “You’d do that?”

Remus’ heart clenched a little. Sirius was still surprised when people did things for him with absolutely no ulterior motive.

Lily was already pulling out some ink and parchment. “Yeah of course. What colour would you like?”

Sirius’ face really was comical at this point. “There are different colours?”

Lily chuckled as she nodded her head. “Yeah, hmm let me see… how about I surprise you?”

Sirius leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “Lily Evans I could marry you.” He proclaimed grandly.

James leaned over to Remus. “Mate, do you think we should be worried that your man just proposed to my girlfriend?”

Remus looked at where Sirius was now enveloping Lily in a hug. “Yeah.” He teased. “We should definitely be worried.”

Remus’ studies were interrupted by his very excited boyfriend.

“Remus! Look at my nails!”

A pair of black painted nails were shoved right in his face and Remus actually had to catch Sirius’ wrist to move the hand in question slightly further away from his face so that he could actually see it.

“They’re really cool Pads.” He said grinning at the contagious excitement radiating off the boy in front of him.

“Lily says black is totally punk. They’ll go with my leather jacket, won’t they?”

Remus glances back down at his half finished essay and picked up his quill. “Yeah totally Pads.” He said, already starting to write again. He could hear Sirius moving around him but he had already zoned out – needing to finish this essay so he could get a head start on the rest of his work. Missing a few days every month wasn’t ideal, but Remus was lucky that teachers would let him know what they would be covering when he was out so that he could complete his assignments in advance. They had given him the option of catching up afterwards, but Remus preferred it this way; he already had enough to worry about without an intense workload on top of it.

He knew Sirius didn’t mind and that his boyfriend was happy enjoying his new accessories himself for a little while anyways. He was probably showing off to the entire common room. Scratch that – Remus knew his boyfriend – he was probably showing off to the entire school.

“Hey Moony.”

Remus glanced up from his essay to see Sirius standing in his leather jacket, clad in jeans so tight it was surely illegal, his hair half up, half down (in the way that Sirius knew drove Remus absolutely wild) and last but not least, the famous nails.

Remus’ mouth dried up.

“Wow Pads… you look… you look wow.”

Sirius smirked and strutted to Remus’ side. “I look hot.”

Remus huffed a laugh. “That’s an understatement.”

Sirius slid onto Remus’ lap and held his hands out so the pair could admire them as Sirius wiggled his fingers. “Nice, huh?”

Remus caught his hands and lifted them to his lips so he could press a gentle kiss there. “Very nice.” He agreed. He kissed his wrist, the crook of his elbow in that goddamn jacket, the soft skin where shoulder meets neck and finally, Remus kissed along Sirius’s jawline; he also knew what drove his boyfriend crazy – two could play at that game.

Sirius sighed and tilted his head so Remus would have better access but Remus pulled away and kissed his boyfriend on the lips just once before pushing him gently off his lap.

“I love you.” He said, highly amused at the indignant look of Sirius Black sitting on the floor. “But I need to finish my essay.”

Sirius rose. “Fine.” He announces as he flounced from the room, but he stuck out his tongue at Remus playfully as he left the room causing Remus to roll his eyes laughing. What a dork.

(His dork though).

“Okay boys, the day has come.” James said slinging his arms around Peter and Remus as the Marauders all walked into the Great Hall together for dinner. “We’ve planned for this, are we all ready?”

“You bet your ass we’re ready.” Sirius chirped, sliding into his seat, the rest of them following suit.

“Let’s just review one more time.” Peter said, always the worrier. “So I’ll transfigure his hat, James and Sirius, you’ve got the robes – James you’re doing the top half and Sirius is taking the bottom, right?”

“Right.” They both confirmed.

“And Remus you’re doing the shoes.”

“Yup.” Remus said popping the ‘p’ as he poured them all a glass of pumpkin juice. “Remember;” He warned them, “We all have to do it at the same time, so what’s the signal?”

“When he stands to speak at the end.” The others said in sync, words slightly muffled by the food they were now shoving into their mouths. Remus grinned. “We’re ready.”

The boys ate their dinner, relatively quietly as they all loaded their plates and exchanged secret, excited glances. This wasn’t one of their hardest pranks, not by a long shot but it was definitely one of their most daring.

“And now,” The headmaster said as he pushed back his chair and the hall fell into a silence. “For a few words.”

As one, the four boys cast the charm, wands swishing under the table, all aimed at Albus Dumbledore.

His tall wizards hat folded in on itself until it was a simple headband over his long loose hair. An oversized denim jacket now adorned his arms and, by Merlin, even Remus was stunned by the crop top James had given him – eliciting many a gasp and giggle from the students. Where his long robes had been, now there were a pair of embroidered bell bottom jeans and the entire ensemble were topped off with a pair of sandals Remus was quite impressed with.

The entire hall fell into utter silence as Ms McGonagall stood up in outrage but Dumbledore simply looked down at his new outfit demurely.

“It’s always good to keep up with the latest trends.” He said without missing a beat, throwing a wink at the Marauders and sending the great hall into utter chaos. The four boys burst into laughter with them, filled with a mischievous delight as rumours already were sparking.

“Did you see his tattoo?” Remus heard one Ravenclaw ask and he actually nearly choked on his pumpkin juice.

McGonagall however was not quite as amused as her colleague. She appeared at the Gryffindor table in moments, looming over the Marauders.

“Hello Minnie darling.” Sirius said, donning his ‘innocent’ look.

“Detention, all of you.” She said, her face the picture of disapproval, but Remus was certain that he caught the hint of a smile on her face as she turned away.

The four boys exchanged looks before bursting into laughter once more.

“Totally worth it.”

[chaoskirin]

Prehistoric Planet--Review

God I love me some dinosaurs, and Prehistoric Planet didn’t disappoint. F*ck me if I’m giving Apple any money, though, so I got their free trial so I could watch it. That last statement has nothing to do with my review. Apple can just kiss my ass.

Anyway.

I’m not really a paleontologist, but I read most of the more interesting papers that come out about paleobiology, especially those about dinosaurs and sometimes plants. (Although I’m no Ellie Sattler, so the plants don’t interest me as much.) The point is, I’m pretty well-versed when it comes to dinosaur anatomy, agreed-upon appearance, and biology. So I can say for certain that the models are absolutely some of the most accurate ever portrayed in dinosaur media.

And where our current knowledge base failed, decent theoretical portrayal filled in the holes. We don’t know if other ceratopsians besides psittacosaurus had quills, but it’s a decent leap. Quills take a lot of evolutionary energy to create, which means they have a purpose, which means evolution isn’t going to drop them after a single species. It’s nice to see these details in the show.

I’m also so, so happy that none of the dinosaurs were shrink-wrapped, and actually looked like real animals. I like that the tyrannosaur adults had down-like feathers. I love the speculation when it came to sauropods and the fact that large bull animals definitely want to fight for mates. And I loved the pterasaur sex/gender breakdown based on modern sandpipers called ruffs, which have four different genders.

And while I love that the concentration was more on the everyday life of these dinosaurs--I don’t necessarily need to see scenes of predation for every carnivore depicted--it confused me that the show felt the need to constantly kill babies. It’s not necessarily an unrealistic thing. I passively study falcons in my spare time, and only about 1/3 of the babies make it to a year old, but if predation isn’t being depicted, why then kill so many babies?

And to be fair, two of the babies that were supposed to be dead actually made it out in the end, but this directorial choice was a little... odd? It’s not as if depictions of blood were banned. I can only imagine that it’s a fact of life that’s very rarely portrayed. Even so. Weird.

I would have also liked to see more speculative writing on the care and raising of chicks. Because it’s been proven that dinosaurs like maiasaura and oviraptor were fierce and protective parents (the latter even remaining on her nest of eggs as a possible volcanic eruption killed her and all her offspring) it would have been nice to see more of that. While the male T-rex in the first episode had his chicks in tow, there was no real interaction seen between them, and that continued with many other portrayals of offspring. It was odd to me that most pterosaurs were depicted as abandoning their young.

Concerning other speculative biology, it’s fair, and I’m glad the writers weren’t afraid to guess. It’s likely that many dinosaur species had adaptations and behavioral patterns that we can’t even guess at, because those things aren’t preserved in rock. But dreadnoughtus using air sacs for display and giving a really clever use to carnotaurus’ tiny arms was pretty reasonable. Usually speculation is only limited to the biology we absolutely know for sure. IE: tyrannosaurus had sharp teeth, so it ate meat. So it’s cool to see the writers using current-era adaptations to hypothesize what dinosaurs might have done or looked like.

I highly recommend grabbing a free week of AppleTV+ so you can watch the show. The depictions of dinosaurs are accurate and the speculative biology is fair.

Four stars. Only took one star off for the baby murder.

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Final Space, Season 3

Everybody that know me know that I’m high class #Quillective trash and my main thoughts and feelings go out to Quinn Ergon and Gary Goodspeed - precious Gemini gems, and of course the BABIES: Little Cato, Ash and Fox #NeshaLuhDaKids I had some attachment to Avocato once upon a time, but that n***a got on my LAST nerves this season, so we currently at “Do you, Boo” status by the end of S3, and eventually, yes, I’ma get to why that is. 

Disclaimer for somebody who stumbled across this post because of the fandom tags - I am an independent partaker of this content, not “part of the fandom,” and my audience in particular is NOT for everybody. SO: If you may have been criticized in the past for casual racism, tone deafness to Black women’s concerns or accused of misogynoir or antiblackness, leave now. 

If you don’t like cussing, AAVE, general ratchetness and mean lesbian energy, you too might wanna go. A bitch can be eloquent, but I type like I talk, at times, so it is what it is and I don’t curate for kids, dudes, or nonblacks. That’s just what that is.

I wanna start with Ash Graven. This season is about Ash more than anybody else, despite the fact that there was a lot of emphasis on Avocato’s toxic ass man pain and growth in Quinn and Gary’s relationship, ULTIMATELY, nobody in the crew did more coming into fruition as Ash did, and I have a lot to say about her, because I have a lot of feelings.

♡ Ash Graven

1. Ash is a kid. Lol. Everybody got very confused because of the unnecessary transformation that Invictus gave her. Ash did not “grow up,” her body was altered. That’s a fuckin kid in a woman’s body. A kid who has previously been living with survivor’s guilt, parental abuse/neglect/exploitation, chronic trauma, and a disastrous superpower that most people could not be trusted to carry. She’s a child having a coming of age moment in this season that is mostly molded in manipulation. If you hate on Ash, go fuck yourself. ESPECIALLY if I’ve caught you stanning other characters who have been shit characters, in this fandom or not. Ash was dealt a shit hand and nobody had her back but her brothers, and she’s done what she could and thought was best to care for them. Anybody that missed that - just don’t have kids, K.

2. Ash has no parental guidance. As far as she knows, the only adults who have ever had her back are dead and the ones that she’s stuck with now, she GAVE a chance to try to trust them. She gave Quinn a chance to try to see some of Nightfall (the only adult that we’ve seen not exploit her) in her. She gave Gary a chance by choosing him over Clarence, when she had to make a choice. She even gave Clarence’s ass another chance - with which he responded by dying to not fail her. Now, she has Gary, who just a few days or weeks ago, idek, forced her to try to summon her powers while she was both injured and also upset over having to leave her brother behind - TO SAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND! And she got snatched away in the process and left behind with the enemy, to be mentally assaulted and returned changed, only to have them not trust her.

I love Quinn too. I love her dearly. But the facts were that she was dying and having an episode that nobody could really help with, and Gary didn’t take the time or consideration to think about the stress that he was putting on Ash by putting her in the position to make her feel like she needed to save Quinn for him. Whether or not she was the only one who could, that is a lot to put on a child, and not only did he do it, but he didn’t even seem to think that hard about it whenever he then left her ass. Sure, he was glad when she was returned, but that was a fucked up situation that yet another adult put her into, and the first thing that he should have wanted to do when seeing her was to apologize and try to make it right. It was a huge miscalculation to treat her as a potential enemy that he and Avocato needed to vet. EVEN IF that’s what she was to them, both of them should have had the sense to assess while still treating her as the kid that they supposedly knew.

3. Most of her trauma has been recent and continuous. She looked up to Nightfall, watched her die, and had a meltdown. The events from Season 2 (with Clarence almost killing Fox and leaving him to die, her leaving his side to help out, seeing that Sheryl was treacherous to her own son, losing Nightfall), and the events that are taking place in Season 3 are only in the span of a few months.

They were only stranded for a month whenever we see them surviving together. That girl has had more happen to her to hurt her than to help her and nobody around her BUT Little Cato has been sensitive to that. And they are all fucking adults.

These things being noted - changing Ash’s design was the absolute worse fucking thing. Aging a girl up to make the bad things that follow more palatable is what that seems to be. Ash is still a kid. And THEN, they allegedly made her a queer kid. I say allegedly, because that “reveal” was so poorly done and subtle and weak that I, an almost 40 year old queer, didn’t realize that that’s what they meant whenever they said that they were gonna reveal somebody as a character who is part of the LGBT community.

So... FS production just gon’ decide not only to transform her body into that of a woman, when her mind is still full on traumatized child and hormonal teenager, but also, she likes girls, and they didn’t even do it in a cohesive way that added to the story. They threw it in, like, “BTW, she likes girls, and also, she’s full grown now.” then immediately went for the “Villain” lever, and bitches just ate that shit up. Fuck y’all, forreal. 

& Fox

He didn’t deserve that shit. And, I know a lot of people felt that he was pointless and boring, but his ass was sweet and caring and searching for love and acceptance. As a background character, I liked him. But, he was literally just fodder for Ash’s downfall, which was unfair and problematic, considering that his ass is definitely Black coded. Don’t play. He was voiced by a Black man, spoke with a blaccent, and definitely would be read as Black if you wasn’t looking at him and seeing an alien. They gave him a sacrificial negro trope, the big friendly negro that can kill you but loves everybody trope, and they used his death to just push some narrative forward to set up the one verified queer character as a villain. They got they ass in a vehicle and rolled right over another Black character, and another queer character. Chile...

 ♡ Little Cato!!!

My precious have not been getting some good for too long, and I have had it. He’s not focused on so much this season as he is in the background of other people’s stories, but a very important takeaway is and will always be that Little Cato, aside from Fox, really was the only one here who consistently treated her like she mattered, so it made a lot of sense that he could be the catalyst for her finally having ENOUGH with these people.

I really wish that he could have found out the truth about his past from Avocato, because that’s really who OWED him that truth, but Ash did the thing that I’d expect and told him, to be honest with him. She even told him that Avocato wanted to tell him and that she took that right away from him, because she didn’t believe he deserved it, and I’m respecting her for that, too. I wish she could see how much it hurt Little Cato for her to try to take him away from his home. 

Little Cato has lived before, for a while, and he’s not mature enough to behave as a man, but he at least has a loving foundation to draw from, and having had that support, this is more of his home than it is Ash’s. He doesn’t know how to explain that to her, and she doesn’t know how to understand that for him. Just a tragic situation for two kids with a lot of problems.

♡ Quinn Ergon & Gary Goodspeed

Quinnary notes that might not be featured in the BFCD Reviews by Nesha:  (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) rundown - 

I've had two favorite parts of this season so far and they're very mediocre things that you wouldn't think would be like my favorite part but they are. One of them was that the first thing Gary does when she wakes up is to ask her about her sister (someone obviously very important to her who he's previously promised to allow to let live through Quinn's memory and says he wants to hear about her when he's trying to keep Quinn from dying). Because... He really did care and wasn't just saying something to keep her.

Quinn's mother fucked her up in a way that is so frustrating because Black mamas really will traumatize you about their younger kids. That shit hurt. You showed your daughter dead bodies to make her think about that in the event that your other daughter might be in battle? Bitch wtf

Whenever we say that Black girls are programmed to put everybody ahead of us, that's unfortunately not just including Society, it's in households too. And Quinn comes from this place where that is her reality... Then she meets Gary and he doesn't even register for her as anything special. He doesn't appear impressive or incredible in any way... But he (admittedly) weirdly locks on to her and shares himself - thinking that he's showing himself to her, and ultimately he DOES. And he wants to see her too, beyond all this, who she is, at her most humane. He wants to know about her sister. About someone who mattered to her enough to have the helm of her trauma when she was out of touch with reality. Very soft. Very sweet.

The other was when they were talking about how they met and stuff and Gary absolutely cringed thinking about how corny he was when he approached this woman. A lot of dudes never do that. The complaint of earlier seasons that Gary was overbearing, obsessive and creepy , if you missed the fact that he has terrible abandonment issues from his father’s death and his mother’s rejection, here we have him, in his adult state, looking back at the way he was and being embarrassed about it, and that’s growth!

A close third is whenever at the beginning of the Season he says "Quinn it's been a month eventually you have to open up to me about what you've been through" and she says "I will in time" and he respects it but he reiterates that he's there whenever she needs him. I don't think that people realize how revolutionary that kind of statement is especially for a character like Quinn to hear - who has always felt like she had to take charge, had to take the lead, had to make the sacrifice.

Even when she realized that she was dying, she didn't want to burden him with the information. Not even like ‘a thing that she knew if that could help prevent it and she didn't want him to have to go after it,’ but... she didn't even want him to have to deal with knowing about it!

Maybe she thought that she would just drop, maybe she didn't realize that he was going to have to see her in that condition. And then once she realized that he was going to have to see her in that condition one of the first things she says is "I should have told you." Girl is on her deathbed wishing she had done it differently, for Gary's benefit.

I saw somebody on Twitter tried to come for her about not going to Gary after he killed Fox (you know, shortly after her surgery to save her from the very brink of death, and listen... Quinn comes to see about Gary when she can. She’s done it several times. In fact, I’ma make a whole POST about Quinn and Gary moments SPECIFICALLY to point out to haters in the main tag - where they got Quinn Ergon, and by extension, me, FUCKED UP.

Stop Playing in Quinn Face

HI! HELLO. ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS SEASON IS THAT QUINN AND GARY JUST FUCKED. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANKS. OK. Back 2 bidness

See.. after Gary and Quinn got over the humps of Quinn’s Final Space poisoning... everyone got it... nobody told her until Avocato was mad and told her during a lash out, and let me say something about Avocato’s fucking audacity this season... 

♡ Avocato (Note: His name is A-V-O-C-A-T-O. Some of y’all be tryna stan and y’all can’t even spell his name.)

I done seent Avacata, Avocata... That’s not that dude name. Be writing whole ass expositions about some other Ventrexian n*gga. Hope this helps:

AVOCATO. Listen, boy. YOU decided to be a traitor to your people and your king and queen. YOU decided to dedicate your cause to the Lord Commander and lied to your son his entire life about killing his parents, raising him, and never talking to him about it.

Yet and STILL - whenever you had the chance to finally tell him, you ain’t do the shit. Lord Commander gave you the perfect ass opportunity - WHEN IT CAME UP, and even then, with that boy looking you dead in the face and being glad that now he knows everything... you ain’t Ventrexian man up.

Then, whenever you were supposed to be checking on Gary after his traumatic murder fight with Fox and Invictus, you turned it around and literally made it about you. attacking him in the process and only after a physical fight did you apologize. (And y’all still didn’t get back to what had happened to Gary, which was no real fault of his own). 

Fast forward to after you willingly agreed to stay behind and fight and y’all lost. Now, it was Quinn’s turn to be the center of your blame and you lashed out at her because everybody is dying, despite the fact that y’all agreed to stay behind and fight, nobody even told her that y’all were sick, AND you still wasn’t 100 with Little Cato. 

You just had a lot of mothafuckin audacity this season, Avocato, and I personally was not here for the shit. Even when Ash blasted yo ass, your main thought was to threaten to kill her if she took Little Cato, instead of assuring her that despite what you’ve done, Little Cato was safe with you. No, she wouldn’t have listened to you. But, the words you chose tell us about who you are and how you are. You a war mongering killer that don’t ever take responsibility for his shit, and even in those brief moments that you do, its always somebody else’s problem. 

I’da thunk that LC getting snatched away would be humbling for you, but I guess you were chosen by the writers for minimal growth. Bye, Avocato. Witcha bitch ass. We is not cool right now, but you do you. Hope you find some growth up there in ya ass, where ya head been. 😁 Can’t believe I mourned yo ass. You coulda stayed dead as hell.

FINALE NOTES:

OK BITCH OK THIS FINALE WAS HYPE!

Let me pull it up so that I can liveblog it for the shit that I need to conclude this journey. 

We start out after Ash done took Little Cato and burnt off. Gary and AVOCATO done said they finna go get they son. Chile, I cannot handle Biskit voice. I like that lil’ dude but ya voice, Mane. I can’t with it. 

OK OK OK... Whenever Quinn comes up to Gary to talk to him and say potential goodbyes, she look like she wanna say some and that makes me think about whenever she looked like she wanted to say something in season 1 and didn’t. Quinn as grown a lot in her feelings for Gary, but she still has that hard time with talking about her feelings, but I love that you can see them in her face.

Chile... these folk was kinda taking they time gettin started, huh? Knuckas, do y’all remember that everybody finna die of FS poisoning? Lol. Also... why didn’t they start hallucinating and shit? I guess its not until it covers ya face? 

NIGHTFALL. 😥 I love you, Sis. I miss you. But, “Because I’m you and WE think of everything...” YES. I HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT! EVERYBODY EXPECTS QUINN TO THINK OF EVERYTHING AND WHENEVER THEY DON’T THINK OF THE THINGS, SHE GETS BLAMED FOR MAKING THE TOUGH DECISIONS THAT NOBODY ELSE COULD EVEN MAKE. Underappreciated, really. And people still mark Nightfall as a villain, despite the fact that she not only sacrificed herself, but also came specifically to help another Gary. Sidenote - Nightfall didn’t actually pursuit Quinn’s Gary until Quinn was trapped in Final Space and she thought she got a signal from him. So, I’m still salty AF that she been labelled as a villain just because people don’t like her, when her actions have all been to try to help. Here is no difference. She thought of the things that she didn’t think a younger version of her would think of, and left it for Quinn to find. Nightfall be on RNS, and most of y’all didn’t deserve her.

Quinn’s identity crisis is so sad, but I liked that Nightfall EVEN thought about that. And Sheryl... you kinda starting to grow on me. I hate to give shitty mothers who find compassion in old chance a try, but she do seem to really be giving it a go. 

Ash is so fucked up that she rushes right into the devil’s arms. This reminds me of when trafficking victims go back to their abusers because they don’t have the resources to adjust in the system. 😪 She REALLY believes what she’s saying. She really feels like Little Cato is safer with Invictus with the Team Squad. That’s sad as fuck, bruh. 

THE. ACTING. AND. ARTWORK. IN. THIS. CONFRONTATION. SCENE.

Avocato... I’m proud of you for FINALLY taking responsibility ad opening up about it. Little Cato’s reaction is precisely how kids in the system are, as well. They wanna be at home with their parents, no matter who their parents are or what they’ve done. and Avocato meant what he said and did what I referred to earlier as “Ventraxian man up.”

“I’m sorry we failed you,” from Gary was so important. Because, they technically did fail her. Had Ash seen the same amount of love from Gary as she’s seen him give to others, she might have been more receptive to the truth and less susceptible to lies. But, as she had just said earlier, it was too late for kind words. She’s currently beyond accepting them from him. For a brief moment, it breaks through, but without that ability to know love from an adult properly, she can’t accept that apology right now.

H.U.E. with his big robot, Lord Commander...EYE. There’s so much happening right now bitch processing has left the room girl. Biskit did so damn much this episode. And it was good to see everybody on the team have a moment to help things, instead of like one person having to handle the bulk of things. 

Quinn’s begging voice... its such a contrast from whenever she sent out the SOS in season 1 and was afraid and angry. Like... the desperation here shows her softness. 

Ash’s RAGE Bitch...

Gary’s “I love you...” She looked so happy! And then she just sat with it. I feel like she definitely loves him too, but she doesn’t communicate that way. But, her FACE. She was just... did she think that he didn’t before, or was she just speechless because she didn’t expect to hear it? Because, we gotta be real... Sis probably has not ever heard those words from anybody before. And that first time, when it’s really there is a DOOZIE. She had an abusive mother, a seemingly jealous or competitive sister, and we saw how nobody in the Infinity Guard respected her ass when she was serving them the real. I think this is the first time she’s been in love or felt it and when Gary said it, she had to collect herself. The way she ran to him and jumped into his arms??? SHIPPING CRACK. And Mooncake was a part of their hug too. I have a lot of feelings about this dynamic since Quinn and Mooncake are the only characters that we’ve seen Gary have these “love at first sight” reactions to and Mooncake is the first character that I recall Quinn being nice to in S1. 

So.. my heart was very full when they ripped it from my chest moments later. Mooncake has been watching Team Squad members be self sacrificing for a little while now, and he loves his family and Gary so much that he rushes straight towards danger. (Sure, I don’t think that he estimated how powerful Ash could be at this moment), but he had to at least consider that he might be caught or left behind.

Bitch, Ash is GONE. She said, “Fuck all y’all!” Not knowing whether or not Mooncake is destroyed makes it very hard for me to know how much I can stand this, but I also want to hope that he is gonna survive. Quinn having to make the decision to lightfold is hella sad, but even though Gary is destroyed, he has to know that this is exactly how Ash must’ve felt whenever he had to make the call to leave Fox behind. She hated to do that to Gary. She even seemed more regretful about it than Gary did whenever he had to leave Fox and when he left Ash. Sure, its because she loves him more than he loved Fox and Ash, but its a terrible position to be in to have to hurt somebody you love like that. On the other hand, they gave her hella shit for them not escaping when could have the first time, so naturally, she was going to make this decision. 

It very much sucks that Invictus is free and my brain can’t eeem FATHOM what that means for everything and everybody, but the Final Space poisoning left the Team Squad’s system, so maybe there is a rejuvenation of some sort in Invictus’ power? Or does Final Space poisoning leave your system as soon as you leave Final Space? I don’t think that was clarified. 

Anyways, I still don’t hate Ash. Y’all can say whatever about it, but I see sad white boys get forgiven all day every day on this site, and I’m upset, but I’m not letting my baby go. I’m not cheering her on, but unless she dies, I’m gonna hope for the best for her, like I said here. 

DAMN this season was some shit. Ionknow if I’m emotionally capable of watching another season of Final Space in progress. If they make it back for another season, I will most likely just wait until the end to dive in and let them shock my senses all at once instead of on a weekly goddamn basis, because GODDAMN GODDAMN GODDDAMN!

@andromidagalaxie @daintyurbanprincess @shslargue @space-finally​  The Quinnary Moments Masterlist probably won’t be ready by Quinn’s birthday, since her birthday is the day before Juneteenth, but I’ve started on a little fic that I might have the first installment of posted by then. We shall see. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Here is my JOURNEY during my first watch of the first two seasons of the show. (I watched Season 3 in progress and waited until it was over to write up this review) and my probably incoherent tag of whenever I do me a lil’ liveblogging: Nesha Watches Final Space, and here is my review on Quinnary: BFCD Reviews by Nesha: (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) FINAL SPACE

[obeymeluv]

The Bros and School Headcanons

I have other stuff in mind but this is something short I can put out for now.

It’s my headcanon on the types of school/college people the bros are. I guess you can consider it college AU?

Lucifer

The Type-A asshole everyone probably hates

Doesn’t originally start out that way, doesn’t mean for people to hate him. Soon LIVES for it. Seriously, it’s like his coffee.

Prideful AF. MUST be top of the class!

His motto: “Do it right, do it once.”

Runs on an insane amount of coffee and just as insane (read: little) amount of sleep

The type to remind the teacher about assignments that were due in class if it seems like they’re going to forget about it

Asks about extra credit on day one

If people ask repeat questions that were LITERALLY just answered, he gets pissy and silently suffers

Ends up a little sad and burnt out, wondering if the grade was worth skipping out on other opportunities

Says he’s not going to do it next semester, but gets addicted to that grade high

The “friends” he makes in class are usually fellow rivals and they have a hot and cold relationship that somehow works really well

When he drops the grade-chaser stuff, he’s actually really nice to be around. He has really deep, interesting conversations that are between philosophical and educational (you just have to pull his head out of his ass first)

Mammon

Some people wonder how he got into the class, some people wonder how he’s passing it

Mammon is the dude who looks like he doesn’t know about the subject but is an absolute FOUNTAIN of knowledge

Always has sunglasses on and has some kind of drink within arm’s reach. Usually a very big coffee with lots of espresso

Constant bedhead (even if he says he fixed his hair)

Tried sitting in the front row the first week, kept getting sleepy. Now sits in the back row towards the doors.

He’s either early or late. Never on time.

The one that brings a notebook and a pen to class. Nothing extra.

Usually falls asleep or cat naps. Says he learns through osmosis

This asshole is really good at auditory learning and gets by recording the lectures

Blows through exams like they’re nothing. He’s a good BS’er and gets C’s, minimum. Usually low B’s.

This guy laughs at the Type-A stresser’s and enjoys his minimum studying

Can be suckered into group studying fairly easily but most people won’t study with him because he turns study sessions into anything BUT studying

Knows people who know people. Could probably get his hands on old tests and stuff. If he can, it’ll cost you. A lot.

Levi

This poor baby has testing anxiety hella bad when it comes to subjects he’s not super interested in or that he’s already struggling in

If he likes the subject and feels confident in it, there’s no testing anxiety.

Also brings a drink to class. It’s an energy drink.

Always comes to class early and is usually in a pair of wireless headphones, browsing on his phone

A great visual learner.

His notes are written sloppily and kind of sporadically but they’re decently organized with notes in the margin and things like that

Doesn’t like asking questions out loud. Will either email the teacher, ask after class, or make a friend that isn’t afraid to ask them for him.

If he’s having a good day, he’ll try to make jokes that only make a few people laugh. It’s usually bad timing and he’s a little sad.

MUCH BETTER AT DRAGGING PEOPLE! It’s not something he thinks about. It just slips out! Before his face can overheat, he realizes people are laughing and he kind of basks in it for a while.

Has coordinated stationary; is probably animes he’s into or colors he likes

If he has a laptop, it’s absolutely smothered in stickers

The BEST guy to have a study session with. Something about being in a library or quiet area ramps up his focus and he’s like a second-hand teacher.

Very different from his in-class persona, but is often spot on with ‘If I were the teacher, I’d put this on the exam.’

Want to be friends? Comment on his merch. He’ll start a conversation if he sees a shirt/pin/bag/pencil or anything he likes. It helps if you offer Starbucks or snacks in exchange for being tutored

Satan

Takes pride in his grades but doesn’t go out of his way to make people hate him

Will casually drop his grades when asked, but won’t own up to being the top grade. Very vague (”I did okay. Just like I expected.”)

He more or less enjoys the satisfaction of seeing a good grade come back to him after all that studying

Prone to over-thinking

Probably the first one done, but he’ll do 2 or 3 look overs to check everything before turning it in

Low-key exhausts his professors with written assignments because he gives them a fucking book. It’s all technical and correct but, really, it was only supposed to be three pages!

The one that will yell at the obnoxious people interrupting lecture. Will throw things at them if they’re in reach.

Super protective of his books and class materials. Has a hoarding/scooping reflex when messy people spread out their stuff or unwrap food. The books are not to be desecrated!

If an obnoxious eater/drinker is beside him, he thinks about strangling them to the point where it distracts him from lecture

Usually reads ahead and works ahead

If he gets points off of something, he’ll want an explanation. If he feels the points were taken away unnecessarily, there will be words

If he gets too overstimulated with noises or just hits a point of being fed up, he’ll leave lecture

Rarely brings food or drink to class but can be found at the Starbucks on campus before class. Maybe after. Some days it’s both.

Best notes around. Very technical and perfectly organized. Not colorful or anything, but definitely the envy of people.

Sells his notes/study guides each semester for money

Asmo

That guy who can slide into any friend group

Socially sharp. Can tell who the most prepared are and has an instinct for who the strongest class partners will be

Makes friends with the TA’s before the professors.

Totally convinces that TA to give him hints about the upcoming exams

People either love him or hate him. Most people love him, some people hate them because they can’t be him.

Almost always has a drink and it’s rarely the same. Usually a healthy smoothie or one of the cute juice drinks from Starbucks.

The type to bring in outside food and pick at it while he listens to lecture. Tries to listen, anyways.

Really easily distracted. Gets bored with monotonous voices and HATES teachers who just read off of a powerpoint.

His notes are very colorful and aesthetic but may not be the most informative

Does his best to stay on top of assignments but usually has 2 or 3 big screw ups a semester

Somehow always gets his ass saved. Boy has good karma in stock

This is the guy that things ALWAYS seem to work out for, and they fall in his lap

Proposes cute/semi-extravagant study dates. They are rare and exclusive. Extended to a few choice people (no, it’s not to sucker anyone into giving him class notes.)

Aim’s for C’s because anything more is just a bonus. D’s and F’s are unacceptable.

Will drag a bad partner in a heartbeat. If they didn’t help in the group project, their name isn’t going on it.

Beel

Also one of the types that doesn’t look like he belongs, but he does

Is a fountain of random knowledge

Very strong memory, but not perfect. The type that needs a little push before the absolute WALL of information comes out.

Really strong test taker

Brings tons of snacks to class

Once brought a whole-ass meal to class. He ate it one-handed and took notes with the other.

The guy that somehow gets roped into favors by other people. It’s usually quick stuff and he’s good about setting boundaries to make time for himself and his studies

Want him to study with you? Mention about splitting a pizza or something.

Your hype man. Good guy to reassure you before tests if you get test anxiety

Sick and skip class? He’ll check in on you AND send copies of his notes

Doesn’t always get assignments in on time. Only late once or twice a semester. Either eats the point difference or convinces the teacher to give him an extension.

Will take you out for post-test fun errands

Belphie

Does he exist? You won’t find out until it’s time to take an exam.

Belphie does a lot of research before he signs up for a class. Would like to go 100% online but knows that isn’t realistic, so he combs teacher reviews to get nice, easygoing professors

Has a photographic memory, so all he really needs are the powerpoints and to check out reference copies of the textbooks from the libraries

Tries to take the same classes as his brothers so he can swipe the textbook for a bit

If his only option is a morning class, he DEFINITELY picks the same one as one of his bros to make sure he gets up and goes

More of a night owl

The one that’s addicted to caffeine, stays up all night, and somehow gets 7 assignments done. Has periods of intense focus then it’s back to not knowing what day it is. He just wants sleep.

Usually seen with Beel or Satan. Tends to show up at events with free food.

Loves finals week when they bring in dogs and pets.

Has wireless earbuds and is always listening to a podcast, Tedtalk, or something soothing

Catnaps through class. Even if he’s woken up from a dead sleep, he can answer whatever snarky question someone asked

Takes advantage of the meditation classes and alternative therapy walk-ins promoted by the Mental Health Clinic. He really likes guided meditation with singing bowls.

[naughty-noodles]

May I request toby and Jeff having a fluffy domestic headcannons??? :) - sneaky sock thief

I love domestic headcanons 🥺 im unsure if this is a reader insert or shipping Toby and Jeff so imma do reader but if you wanted the ship, lemme know and ill make one for that too

Jeff:

Forehead kisses for days. He always gives you one just as you're drifting asleep, especially at the beginning when hes unsure if hes allowed that liberty when you're awake. Once he finds out its okay, its hard to keep him from giving you one every 5 minutes

He cant cook for shit but loves it when you cook for him. He's like a food critic who only gives positive reviews on your cooking, whether its actually good or bad

Hes horrible at self care si after living together, he will go through your morning and night routine with you if you ask. Its the only way he will take care of himself

You bought scar cream once for his mouth and he wasnt sure how to feel. Hes very insecure aboht what he did in that manic state and wonders if you secretly hate his scars. But apply it for him, and hes reveling in your touch and how much you care for him

Loves showering with you and brushing your teeth together. Showers dont have to be sexual but he will slap your ass no matter what

On dates and outings, he has to wear his mask and hat to keep from being recognized so he loves if its more inconspicuous.

His favorite date was when you got ice cream and ate it in an empty parking lot so he could enjoy that time with you without being on edge around strangers. He is a wanted man afterall.

Would abosultely make you a mixtape on your anniversary. its mostly raunchy songs but with one or two love songs mixed in. Its his way of saying he REALLY loves you

Toby:

Jeffs thing may be forehead kisses but Toby prefers kissing your hands. Especially your knuckles. Theyre so clean and soft compared to this rough scarred hands. It reminds him the world can also be pure.

His favorite days are rainy ones where he can stay in bed with you and cuddle.

One date, he took you to learn to throw hatchets. When youd mess up, he was always kind and reassuring. The first time you hit the target, he cheered and lifted you in the air, spinning until you both were so dizzy you couldnt stand. He was so proud of you that day.

Always pushing your hair out of your face to see your eyes. He loves every minor thing about you and it shows.

You know how Hockey boyfriends will tape your name to their hockey stick? Well your serial killer boyfriend will absolutely keep your name on his hatchet for good luck. Its creepy... But endearing if youre into that.

Pet names are his favorite and hes always calling you whatever comes to mind. "My little gold nugget" was probably the weirdest.