#also my reviewer absolutely ate my little ass

[clownattack]

I aced my thesis defence with merits and I WILL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT IT (once i had my little rest) tm

[darkpoisonouslove]

HotD S02E03

I watched this on Monday; I just wasn't in the mood to review it until now. I was pretty hyped for this episode because the last one was entertaining and I saw spoilers for several things before I got to it that made me freak out (affectionate). I was hopeful that we'd get something good but wary at the same time since this show doesn't have the best track record... Oh, boy, was I right to be wary. In short, I didn't enjoy this episode a lot. In fact, it's my least favorite from the season so far. And I will tell you in detail my always correct opinions:

I see they've added new imagery to the opening which makes it even better! I love the whole idea that all this history is woven from blood and the fact that parts of the canvas are just bloodied without any embroidery on them only makes it more brutal. It's as if they're saying that there wasn't even any history written there; it was just bloodshed for the sake of bloodshed.

The way that that skirmish in the beginning escalated into an outright battle that claimed so many lives is chilling. I found it odd that the episode was named "The Burning Mill" when that's referring to the battle that happened in the first scene and we didn't even get to see but then the theme emerged as the episode progressed. This senseless bloodshed is an omen of what's to come, of how everyone is going to lose themselves in the war and just continue the massacre without even remembering what started all of this, bringing all of their grievances - petty and justified alike - into the fray and using them as an excuse to unleash their full rage.

In that regard, Rhaenys is absolutely correct. She ate in that scene and I liked that this also contextualized her behavior in 1x09 more (I'm vindicated that she also mentioned Lucerys mutilating Aemond as a factor that led them all here). However, it is also frustrating to hear all this, especially after the scene of reckless bloodshed we already witnessed. It is too late for this conversation. It should have happened in 1x10 when no murders had occurred yet and the bad blood could have been contained. Now it no longer matters.

I have heard enough about Criston getting a promotion he doesn't deserve. It's true but a) it's almost like that was the entire point of him becoming Hand - to show the recklessness and bloodthirst he and Aegon share and b) that's a strange attitude coming from Rhaenyra stans when she hasn't done anything to reinforce her claim to the throne since oh, her half-assed attempt to marry Jacaerys to Helaena in 1x06. Her actions afterwards have harmed her cause and yet, people still insist she should get to be queen.

I dislike how quickly Criston left King's Landing. As Hand his main duty would be to advise Aegon (not that he's doing such a great job of that but regardless) and he's already setting out to go into battle. This could be another argument in favor of why Criston shouldn't be Hand and I could agree with that but I wish they would have spent more time on him trying to adjust to his new position instead of shipping him away to do what he's already experienced and good at doing. I would have wanted to see them explore his character a little by showing him struggle in the role of an advisor and the constant tension between him and Alicent, then used that as his personal motivation to head the charge to the Riverlands to escape the feeling of being a fish out of water, potentially earn Alicent's graces again alongside a victory for their side.

Mysaria singing Rhaenyra's praises was a bit much to me, especially since Aegon has absolutely nothing to do with the arson to her establishment. He wasn't even king yet at that point so that couldn't be counted towards his (lack of) political prowess.

The great paradoxes of the writing for this show continue to amaze me. Such as the way in which the writers try so hard to make Rhaenyra the most graceful, considerate protagonist and somehow they still went all in on her viewing Baela and Rhaena as tools. You're never going to believe that you heard this from me but there was a great opportunity for a perfect scene between Rhaena and Luke and they missed it. Considering that having no dragon seems to be Rhaena's one defining plot line and Aemond "stole" Vhagar from her because Aegon, Jace and Luke were being mean to him, they could have had a scene where Luke realizes how isolating and even hurtful not having a dragon is. It would have made me take a moment to think about him as a character and given more substance to Rhaena's struggles now, especially since outside of her engagement to Luke Rhaenyra appears to deem her entirely superficial. You could say that she trusts Rhaena so much as to entrust her the care for her children but that's not the impression I really got from those scenes. They were certainly trying for it but isn't it funny how Rhaenyra is begging Rhaena to make the sacrifice to "be a mother" to her children after she spent years refusing to make the sacrifice of... backing up her claim to the throne with a suitable marriage? The HotD writers are unparalleled in having their actions blow up in their faces.

The scene of Daemon infiltrating Harrenhal was drawn out to me. We didn't need quite as much ambience from Harrenhal to get the impression of it being a haunting, cursed place when the hallucination from later in the episode conveys that perfectly well on its own. And the lack of resistance Daemon faced was evident in the guard that didn't attempt to fight him already. They could have cut some of that.

Love how they made such a big deal about Daemon insisting on being called "Your Grace" when Alicent was called that during her whole marriage to Viserys and continues to be called that despite the fact that she's Queen Dowager now. Logically, her receiving the title (without ever demanding it) could have never threatened Viserys' or Aegon's rule because she has no claim on the throne while Daemon's behavior comes off as if he's trying to muscle in on Rhaenyra's turf. But I much more enjoy the idea that no one in their right mind wants to give the impression that Daemon would ever even get to sniff the throne while people continue to defer to Alicent with that title because they respect her in her quality of being queen.

I'm at least relieved that they explained why there's a race to claim castle at all considering that Larys is supposed to be the Lord of Harrenhal and he's on the Greens' side. He didn't really care for it, huh? He just wanted to have Alicent stuck in his web and didn't give a shit that the residents of Harrenhal didn't buy his "tragic fire accident" PR campaign.

Speaking of Larys, I was expecting something huge from him after all this material that he got to work with in the last couple episodes and I would still like to see more from him (aka not just a single scene per episode) but at least for now he came out swinging. The fact that he ensnared Aegon to do what he wants of him in the exact same way that he ensnared Alicent has the best, funniest, most tragic implications. With the small difference that he's completely bullshiting Aegon, of course. He just saw a weakness and sank his claws right in it. I was wondering last episode why he only chimed in, interrupting Aegon's outburst when Aegon switched to throwing blame on Alicent, especially since the long pause before that would have been the perfect opportunity to speak up. It was like he was waiting for Aegon to make his way to accusing Alicent, just to make sure that there's tension there. This episode confirmed that he's trying to sever Alicent's control over Aegon and insert himself in that niche of pulling the king's reins. It does make sense considering that he appears to have lost his grasp on Alicent herself and it also doubles as revenge on her.

What even is the dynamic between Alicent and Criston at this point? I knew not to hold my breath but that doesn't change the fact that I need (a) scene(s) between them explaining what the hell is going on, especially in Criston's head. We literally wouldn't have had this problem if they'd taken the time to establish the relationship before jumping right into having them fuck. That said, I did enjoy the callback to 1x01 where Criston asked for Rhaenyra's favor but now he's setting out against Rhaenyra and when he asks for Alicent's favor, she grants it despite her anger at him. The way his mood instantly improves at that is touching.

Good for Rhaenys on still pushing to have Rhaena named heir of Driftmark. Corlys needs to be hit over the head so he can see the vision.

Helaena is also on the "no grieving, we repress our emotions like Greens" train. They are all so emotionally damaged and Alicent can't help them because she's the most damaged of all. (Love how Otto just abandoned her to take care of all the kids and steer them on the right path on her own so that he wouldn't have to face the results of his failure to do the same.) Despite the truth of that, I think there was more to her not comforting Aegon while she's constantly talking about Helaena's pain. She doesn't even seem to mourn Jaehaerys as much as she mourns what came upon Helaena. I'd say that's definitely guilt because she steered this course of events (as much as Otto and the rest of the Small Council). She put Aegon on the throne to protect his life (and Aemond and Daeron's) and in doing so, she set up Helaena to take the damage from the war and the attacks on their family. While with Aegon there's all this baggage of Viserys destroying her life for him (even if she can't admit it) and his entire existence necessitating this course of events and she just cannot make herself even more vulnerable in order to comfort him. Especially since in that moment, she was angry at him and only had helplessness left in her that was crying to turn into violence as we see it happen when Alicent takes out her frustration on Criston.

This also makes me think back to Helaena saying in 2x01 that Jaehaerys may not want to be king. On some level I think that was her trying to rationalize why she couldn't see any future for him in her visions. But it was also an externalization of her own feelings about being forced to be crowned alongside Aegon despite all the danger that brings. They were all trapped from the beginning. Being crowned instantly locks them all - both sides - into war but there was no guarantee that if Alicent hadn't put them on the throne, they would have been spared. In fact, what happened to Jaehaerys only points to the opposite. I believe that's what Helaena is forgiving Alicent for. Because Alicent was so afraid of losing her children that inadvertently she set up for her daughter to lose hers. And Helaena understands the pain that Alicent was trying to avoid so she forgives her.

I wasn't feeling the Small Folk scenes in the previous episode but this one was a fucking disaster. And why? Just so that they could foreshadow the Dragonseeds. Everyone involved in scripting this show needs professional help.

Aegon and Aemond got about a minute of shared screen time and it still brings forth the full force of their internal conflicts and mommy issues. Aegon sure went "Does mommy prefer Aemond? Even though I'm king? Does she wish he were king?" only to go get wasted and revert back to bullying his brother.

Baela engaging in some Daemon-like behavior. I'm not exactly sure what her game plan was, however? If she wished to attack them, she could have made Moondancer incinerate them all. They would already consider this an attack and an act of war so what was the point? Other than not completely disregarding Rhaenyra's orders, I suppose. At least Baela has more self-control than her father.

Daemon really got hit by that train wreck of emotions he was trying to escape from. Love how he found a soul mate in his 15-year-old niece and he cannot bear the thought that she matured and has outgrown him now. He's so pathetic fr.

I was so excited about seeing Alys but she barely got anything in this episode.

I do not wish to hear anymore shit about Criston's plan for Arryk when Rhaenyra's scheme to meet up with Alicent was even more harebrained. Girl, what was your contingency plan in case Alicent had instantly reported your presence to her knights once she left the Septa? She could have ended this war right then and there. It's even frustrating that she didn't but I suppose I can see why.

Alicent has a lot to deal with in this scene. The fact that Rhaenyra made this trip at all and (falsely) believes they can reach an understanding alone probably made her head spin. I'm surprised she didn't look for a paper bag to help her stop hyperventilating. To be confronted with undeniable proof that she grasped at straws for her own peace of mind so that she could avoid the guilt of betraying her husband and steering the realm towards war surely shook her whole world. To the point that she couldn't even process what was happening anymore.

That's the thing though. Rhaenyra has to face the idea that her father gave up on his staunch support for her rule but she only has to live in that reality for a minute. Instead, her big internal conflict resolution here is that the warpath is set and they cannot escape it. Which in a certain way could still shake her belief in herself that has been perpetuated by Viserys' insistence she'd be the one to unite the realm. Because even if she does, she (and her siblings) would have torn it apart first. It could still be a lot to deal with but her struggles are undermined by how late it is for this. I already talked about this but we are several episodes past the point of no return. This scene, the whole conflict they've built up for Rhaenyra in this episode, has missed its mark because it should have happened a lot earlier.

Alicent may be falling into the sunk cost fallacy but she is also completely correct that by this point war is unavoidable. Aegon will never cooperate with Rhaenyra after what happened to Jaehaerys. And to be honest, for how big a deal they made of Rhaenyra's grief over Luke, she sure didn't seem to be having that hard a time putting it aside for this scene.

It's funny how the show is trying to present Rhaenyra as so thoughtful and considerate when she is stubbornly stuck on getting that crown. There is something to be said about how similar she and Alicent are in believing what they want to believe. Yes, Alicent was only using Viserys' misunderstood last words to justify - to herself first and foremost - putting Aegon on the throne and "betraying" her husband and Rhaenyra. But Rhaenyra is also ignoring common sense to believe that "she was meant to unite the realm" just like daddy said. The men of the realm were never going to accept her as queen without a bloody conflict when there was a male heir and Rhaneys warned her of that all the way back in 1x02. Since then Rhaenyra has stubbornly refused to acknowledge the idea that the only way for her to unite the realm without any bloodshed would be to step down (maybe not even then considering how staggeringly willful Aegon is).

I already put out some thoughts on the promo for next episode^ so I'd just like to add that I am enraged by them having Alicent talking about how Aegon's only been king for weeks and the realm has fallen into war. The only reason why the realm was at peace while Viserys was king was that he was alive at all and served as a figurehead since by that point Alicent and Otto had been ruling for years. Viserys himself set up this war when he appointed Rhaenyra his successor and then proceeded to have legitimate sons. He is the one to blame here and it is especially outrageous for Alicent to diminish not just Aegon but herself as well because, like I said, she was the one ruling for years before Viserys died. I can only take this as a result of her conversation with Rhaenyra, an expression of guilt over disregarding Viserys' wishes and putting uncontrollable Aegon on the throne when Rhaenyra probably wouldn't have harmed him and Aemond and Daeron based on her words to Alicent. However, while Alicent is still in shock and processing, she is conveniently forgetting that Jaehaerys was brutally murdered despite Rhaenyra's best intentions. And that should be the reason why she looks like she's deep in depression and doesn't give a single fuck anymore rather than feeling like she's wronged Rhaenyra. The realm would have never been spared war when there are legitimate sons to inherit the throne unless they had been slain. So Alicent did take the only option that she had and she should work up to accepting that but it would be foolish to hope for it with all that we've seen so far. What can I say? It appears that the HotD writers strike again.

[hurpdurpburps]

The Otherside Picnic Michelin Guide

Instead of prepping all the shit I have to do for an upcoming 80-hour work week, my procrastination has led me to writing this list, which is mostly a food-focused curation of my OP Pilgrimage Destination List, with new additions that I've discovered since publishing that.

I like to eat and my 4 years of working as a food journalist have sorta ingrained a subconscious razor-sharp attention to mentions of food in the media that I consume (pun intended). Armed with 5 years of experience living full-time in Tokyo, I've decided to redirect my powers for the Greater Gastronomic Good.

All photos featured are taken from Tablelog/official sources. I haven't been to any of these places myself, but you bet your ass I will be visiting most of them and writing up reviews on here when I'm done.

1. Kitchen Nankai Jinbocho (キッチン南海 神保町店)

The "Western food" (洋食) place Sorawo and Toriko visited for a quick builder's lunch in Vol 6 (File 20 - T is for Templeborn).

In case you're interested in what our protagonists ate:

Sorawo ordered the tonkatsu curry (カツカレー) topped with cheese, while Toriko went for the fried flounder and ginger pork with rice (ひらめフライ生姜焼きライス).

From the photos on their Tablelog page, raw egg seems to be the most popular topping for curry, which is surprising to me since cheese seems like the most intuitive candidate. Best to bring a healthy appetite since their portions look absolutely huge.

2. Sichuan Cuisine Aki Jinbocho (四川料理 秋 神保町本店)

The Chinese restaurant near Jinbocho station where Toriko and Sorawo held their first ever afterparty together after hunting the kunekune.

Unlike what the name implies, it seems to be a run-of-the-mill Chinese place that kinda does a jack-of-all-trades menu rather than any focused niche in Sichuan cuisine. They even have peking duck on the menu according to their Tablelog page, but I can't guarantee if it'd be any good.

If you want to follow what SoraTori ordered, then go for the cashew chicken (鶏肉のカシューナッツ炒め), cumin lamb (ラム肉のクミン炒め) and water spinach (空芯菜), and wash it all down with Tsingtao beer.

3. Cafe Pause Ikebukuro

The cafe where Toriko and Sorawo had their first fight. Its location right behind Junkudo presumably translates into a lot of foot traffic from bookworms. Reviews that I've read say that more than half of its customers come here just to read in peace, and it's got free wifi to boot, so the ambience's probably top notch as well.

The cafe regularly updates its menu (but not online, sadly) and offers a wide range of cafe staples such as fresh pasta lunch sets and homemade baked goods. If you want to recreate Sorawo's one-woman feast, you can check to see if the menu has some or all of the following items:

Taco rice

Chocolate and sour cherry cake

Matcha terrine

“Tart of the day” topped with raspberries

Caffè latte

Grape-flavoured black tea (ぶどうの紅茶)

Check out their website and Instagram here.

4. Maison c

Also nearby Junkudo is this cosy little wine bar in Ikebukuro where Sorawo and Toriko had a rather gloomy dinner after the Ninja Cat saga in Vol 2 (File 8 - Little Bird in a Box).

They don't have a website or a menu, but from what I could glean from their Instagram, they serve mostly seasonal French-Italian fare. Order some sparkling red wine and a prosciutto-salami platter for that SoraTori experience.

Place looks tiny so I wouldn't try to visit with more than one companion, or at least not without a reservation (strictly by phone).

6. Keio Plaza Hotel Shinjuku

The buffet that The Girls stuffed their faces at for their first anniversary dinner in Vol 7 (File 22 - Toilet Paper Moon) is the Glass Court Super Buffet, located on the 2nd floor.

The line in the book about roast beef being their signature is probably true. I mean LOOK AT THIS:

Other shout-outs from the book (MASSIVE HUNGER WARNING):

Picking away at the appetizer of sakura shrimp and lily bulbs as we talked, our first glasses were soon empty.

I gluttonously loaded up my plate with fresh fried tempura, mussels, foie gras with strawberry sauce, Berkshire pork and mountain vegetables fried in miso, and tom yum noodles. Toriko got a chicken stir fry with chili peppers, chicken liver and bamboo shoots in garlic, a bunch of Iberian ham, and more. It was a lot of meat, but she also had a Caesar salad and yuba maki rolls, so she still succeeded in having a somewhat stylish plate overall.

Just a bit of an intermission here to note a couple of slight mistranslations. The Japanese text is as follows:

揚げたての天ぷらとか、ムール貝とか、フォアグラの苺ソースがけとか黒豚と山菜の味噌焼きとかトムヤム麵とか、欲望のまま皿に取ってきた。鳥子は鶏肉の唐辛子炒め、砂肝と筍のガーリック風味、たっぷりの生ハムなどなど、やたら肉が多めだったけど、ちゃんとシーザーサラダや野菜の湯葉巻きなんかも取っていて、全体として小洒落た感じにまとめることに成功していた。

砂肝 (sunagimo - lit. "sand liver") refers to the gizzard. The name is derived from how the organ works, which stores bits of grit to help grind up food before it's digested, since birds can't chew.

生ハム (nama hamu - lit. "raw ham") is a term for generic proscuitto, and is not interchangeable with the much more culturally/geographically-specific parma ham or jamon iberico.

We both went to the buffet and came back, having gotten gratin, paella, beef curry, and other heavy foods that would pair well with red wine.

Toriko asked between bites of roast beef. It was the type the chef cuts as you watch, and I’d gotten some too. This was supposed to be one of their best dishes here and the taste reflected that.

I got a tiny cake and a confection called nerikiri, then poured myself a cup of black tea.

It was Crêpes Suzette, warm crepes in an orange sauce with coconut ice cream on top.

The second half of the night takes place at the Aurora Sky Lounge on the 45th floor.

Definitely a great (and very convenient) choice to bring a date to get in the mood.

7. Chichibu Waraji Katsu Tei (秩父わらじかつ亭)

After escaping Hasshaku-sama in Vol 1 (File 2 - Hasshaku-sama Survival), Toriko and Sorawo had dinner at a waraji katsu shop located within the food court of a recreational complex that was connected to Seibu-Chichibu station.

This complex is called Matsuri No Yu (祭の湯) and the only waraji katsu shop here is Chichibu Waraji Katsu Tei (秩父わらじかつ亭).

Here's their Tablelog page. According to reviews, the standard serving size is two pieces of katsu. Miyazawa really wasn't lying about meat overflowing from the bowl.

8. Masan's Home (琉球酒場 ま～さんの家)

The Okinawan izakaya that Sorawo and Toriko pigged out at after finding themselves on Kokusai-dori in Naha.

Their Tablelog page features a very extensive menu. Jimami tofu and sea grapes are a must if you're visiting Okinawa for the first time, and I also recommend going for the local sashimi platter as well as other Okinawan specialties such as rafute, Okinawa soba, goat sashimi and bitter gourd stir-fry (ゴーヤチャンプルー).

Honourable Mentions

1. Mendokoro Maruwa (麺処 まるわ)

In case you missed it, there was an OP x ramen collab back in 2018. You can read all about it in my first ever tumblr post (literally I made a whole ass tumblr acc bc I felt like I NEEDED to share it with the world lmao).

I'm not sure if the Ultra Blue is still up on the menu (probably not after all these years), but if you're enthusiastic about the restaurant's link with the series then perhaps it's worth checking out. Their signature is the basil salt tsukemen (バジルソルトつけ麺) so it wouldn't be too different from the Ultra Blue in terms of base flavour profile.

Here's their Tablelog page and Twitter.

PS. This place is in Chiba prefecture, outside of Tokyo. So like idk maybe plan it before a Disneyland trip or smth to be more time-efficient.

2. Kayu San Chin Keio Mall (粥餐庁 京王モール店)

The Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) food therapy restaurant that Sorawo and gang visited in Vol 3 after the events of the Kotoribako was KOGA Seibu Ikebukuro (皇雅西武池袋店), which closed down a few years ago.

While not a perfect replacement, there's a store specialising in Chinese-style congee located at the Keio Mall in Shinjuku, called Kayu San Chin (粥餐庁 - lit. "congee restaurant" in Chinese).

Their menu is similar enough (sans the TCM tea selection that was apparently a signature offering by Koga).

3. A Whole Buncha Meat Places

Kozakura treated Toriko and Sorawo to a luxurious steak lunch near Shakujii-kōen station after the kidnapping incident in Vol 4 (File 12 - The Matter of that Farm). While Meat Bar Modavaca (ニクバル モダ・バッカ) has since closed down, there's more than a handful of places where you can try out the quintessential "sizzling hot plate" Japanese steakhouse experience for yourself.

Ikinari Steak (いきなり！ステーキ) is the most easily accesible place where you can order a cut of beef by weight. It's a chain, so don't get your hopes up with regards to the meat quality, but it's also a convenient and budget-friendly option. Website here.

Steak Kuni (ステーキくに) is a similar concept business but on a much smaller scale - with only three locations so far split between Tokyo, Natori in Miyagi prefecture and Koshigaya in Saitama prefecture. Website and Instagram here.

Beef Up Tokyo is a chic joint nestled somewhere near the Yaesu side of Tokyo station near Kyobashi. Which bumps it up really high on my to-try list based on the location alone (I'm pretty sure my usual hotel is max 2 streets away from it). They have basic options that start at 1,800 yen for a 200g cut of run-of-the-mill sirloin, to A5 marbled wagyu going at 3,600 yen for the same size. Which is a steal imo. Click here for their Tablelog page, Instagram and official website.

Pound-Ya Roppongi (听屋 六本木) is another option if you want to splurge a little bit more on quality. Their wagyu steaks are priced at 2,200 yen/100g for the rump/round and 4,000 yen/100g for the sirloin, with the filet taking the cake at 5,600 yen/100g. Tablelog page and Instagram here.

PS. I KNOW that you laughed at that name.

[golbrocklovely]

here is my review of bridgerton season 3 part one, episodes three and four

my review of the first two episodes is here, in case you want to read them.

obvious spoilers ahead for part one and the books

episode three - forces of nature

ngl this episode is a little bit of slogfest for me. like the first half is good, but then you get to the second half, and it's just one ball, and it's the whole entire thing for the rest of the episode. and it's just a wee bit boring. but the polin moments in this episode are top notch so it's still a good ep lol

opening up with him having a sex dream about pen??? I KNOW THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT NOT IN YOUR WILDEST FANTASTIES MY ASS COLIN BRIDGERTON

the dream itself also being just him wishing that she would feel the same as him is honestly so romantic and sweet and god i am DYING

colin fucked his way thru 17 cities and ONE KISS from pen has completely altered his brain chemistry. i love LOVE

the scene of him in the drawing room with his family is honestly my favorite scene out of the entire show. i'm not joking. seeing him so uncomfortable and acting weird bc he doesn't know how to navigate hiding his feelings for her (even at just the mere mention of her name)… i love hopelessly in love men and i'm so serious

also awkward colin is the cutest so there's that lol

that pen and el scene…. how dare you shonda. first time i watched it, cried. writing my review rn, cried again. that shit fucking HURTS

polin's scene under the willow tree, fucking top notch. so funny for no reason other than bc nic and luke are amazing actors. 10/10

i just love that he needs to know why she's ending their lessons. like… cmon now colin lol

her saying we can't be around one another for a while and his "of course :\" i'm cackling my GOD

"i talked to pene-" "whatdidshesay???" that man is a love sick puppy and i'm loving every second of it

i love lady danbury. i feel like i haven't said that yet but i really do love her lol

i wish colin would have seen his shitty friends make their snide remarks at pen. i know we see him later stand up to them but god that would have been sort hot to see now…

lady mondrich… gorgeous dress omg

colin being told that his actions will help pen find a husband, and his absolute face of disappointment… the range luke has is staggering !!

colin's nasty look at pen and debling HOW'S IT FEEL NOW BITCH

finding out that the balloon is cgi was crazy to me. like???? what the hell do you mean that's not real?????

walk him like a dog pen !!

side note, his eyes are absolutely fucking gorgeous like… wow.

the whole scene under that tent, him fidgeting with his hands the whole time, him looking so annoyed at her enjoying her time with debling, STARING AT HER MOUTH WHEN SHE LICKS HER FINGERS !!!! 14/10 i love it here

also here is something i need to note: i don't personally think he bought the cake (or whatever he ate) after she bought one so that he could taste what her mouth tasted like, which is what twitter has been saying. i personally believe that pen gave him the cake she bought when she said "wish me luck". bc we never see her eat, but we see him eat. and we never see him buy something. so… i personally believe she gave him the cake, as a sort of thank you, and he just watched her and ate it. which honestly would be weirdly hotter than him just buying the same cake as her and eating one.

the entire interaction between cressida, el, pen, and debling is so awkward i have to skip thru it. genuinely cannot watch it the secondhand embarrassment is killing me lol

why does he pull such a blue steel look after saying "it's good to be back" sksksk

ben and tilly… don't care. so sorry.

fran and samadani… also don't care lol

it's good to be back…………. but what about the debling guy? he seems weird right? lmaooo

colin springing into action seeing that pen could get hurt? HOT

pen basically almost getting hit bc she was staring too much at colin being hot? HYSTERICAL

danbury's brother is FINE holy shit

side note, claudia looks so much like my aunt it's actually a little bit scary lol

pen and cressida racing to debling…. sweetie you had no chance. cressida is built like a gazelle. take it from this short person here, you were never gonna make it sksks

fran and john meeting for the first time. so sweet.

the scene where colin talks about courage, i wonder if the heartbeat is supposed to be his or hers. i think it's her listening in on him and his words and then when she snaps out of it, that's when she goes to speak to debling.

debling's voice… smooth like BUTTER bb. just thought i would say it

el really gets on my nerves with her saying "it's probably for the best" shit. like i get why she's saying it, but again, it comes from such a place of privilege since she's a bridgerton. some of us have to get with a good match, el. god, you're making me feel sorry for cressida???? fuck me

colin and violet's scene together was just adorable. and her realizing he's in love with pen?? OMG I COULD CRY

i also love that the actress that plays violet wanted to be in the background when colin goes up to tell pen how he feels bc she thought violet would want to watch her son do that. these actors are pulling at my heart strings.

colin genuinely was about to kiss her, in front of everyone, and confess his love. WHY CAN'T MEN BE LIKE THIS

that whole scene was so intense and crazy i love it so much 12/10

i kinda feel like pen wanted colin to say something about his feelings. i don't think she had a clue how he really felt, but i think part of her hoped, even for a split second, that he felt the same about her as she did for him.

again, the english audio descriptor coming in clutch: (watching pen and debling dance) "colin's jaw tightens, he looks away… colin's eyes glistens as he watches, enraptured. helpless." LIKE?????????????

episode four: old friends

we all know why this episode is amazing. but we gotta go thru everything else too lol

her sisters literally not believing she could pull debling and she had to blackmail him… they are the worst and i genuinely hope (and know) that when her and colin get married she will have such a happier life without them in it. truly.

colin going back thru his journal, i wonder if we will get to hear more about what he has written, especially in regards to pen.

him wanting to be recluse bc he's heartbroken… my god colin, pull yourself together and go get your girl!

john really is mister steal your girl lol

for all of portia's faults, her speech on men wanting to explain shit to us otherwise they feel useless… she is 100% correct

colin immediately finding pen in any room he walks into I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT

him being jealous of debling and pen together i could fucking cackle

colin watching her thru a mirror GOD KILL ME NOW

i thought it was sweet the way debling asked pen how he should ask to propose to her. while i don't think he's a perfect match for pen, he's a good man regardless.

i want pen to have a love match, and i'm so happy she has it with colin in the end

you know what song would have been great to use? thinking of you by katy perry. such a gorgeous song and perfect for this whole love triangle going on.

i love that colin tries to get over pen but it's just not happening. he is so in love it's hurting ME lol

what i find fascinating about the scene at mondrich's club is that colin's friends are talking about all the women they have had sex with, right? and they ask him, and he brings up the contessa again, but they go on to explain "yeah but you didn't go into detail"… which basically means that even when he's supposed to be a rake and gross about women, he still couldn't commit to the bit. at most he explained that something happened, but then never went on to talk about her in a gross manner or be un-gentlemen like. god i love colin bridgerton with all of my heart.

his whole speech is so sweet and genuine, it's just a shame that so many men that would learn something from it aren't watching this show. that's just a sad fact.

portia is straight up mother gothel. all she wants is power and what good pen can give her by marrying debling. ew.

colin being fussy and not wanting to outright say he was feeling bad… what a baby lol

violet's speech to him just absolutely pulled at my heart. bc that's the thing, while anthony took the burden of being the man of the house and almost resenting his family for having to grow up so fast, colin was the peacekeeper. he was the one that wanted to make sure everyone was okay and happy. and that's what she means by never putting himself first. he doesn't care if he's in a bad mood or not, it only matters how his love ones feel, which is why he does whatever he can to make them happy and proud. and it's just a shame that so many ppl didn't understand that when they first watched and heard this speech.

pen looked so heartbroken watching the ballet. i think that was her accepting that she would never have that.

i love that in the trailer the candle sparks up, meaning that the love for pen is igniting within him. but in the show, it's blowing out, meaning that he's running out of time to confess his feelings. GOD I LOVE CINEMA

colin pushing past his "friends" THAT'S RIGHT BABY GO GET YOUR GIRL

god my heart breaks for pen. i don't get how anyone could say "debling is the better match" for pen when he literally admits that he doesn't think he'll ever love her. pen DESERVES love. so many ppl in her life have never cared or loved her, not in the way she deserves. and yall want her to continue to feel that emptiness? no way.

colin breaking all the rules to talk to pen when he easily could have waited to speak to her after the dance lmaoooo i love a crazy in love man

eros and psyche battling it OUTTTTT

debling realizing why she's at the window all the time. wow.

i kinda love that he was okay with colin being into pen but not pen reciprocating those feelings lol

portia yet again getting worst mom of the year award

the carriage scene…….. THE CARRIAGE SCENE

the first time i watched this scene, i was sweating SO MUCH by the end of it. genuinely it was obscene how hot i was (in more ways than one lmao)

also immediately after its airing, i watched it like 10-15 times. and i haven't seen it in probably over a week and i'm dying all over again for this review.

him running after the carriage, colin bridgerton the man that you are.

even while he is desperate and pleading, he is still kind and asking for permission GOD HE IS SO HOT WHY CAN'T HE BE REAL

his reasons for why pen shouldn't marry debling is laughable but i love it regardless.

his pleading face before he confesses… his EYES?????? you're fucking joking rn

his confession, hands down, is the best in the series. and hell, it's not even the last one he does omg i'm not gonna make it !!!!!

the fact that for a moment he legit thought she didn't love him back was nuts bro you are BLIND

genuinely anytime i watch this scene, i feel like i'm intruding lol like should i leave? maybe i should go sksks

every single shot of them kissing is hot and sexy and romantic and dear god in heaven i am LONELY

her running her fingers thru his hair…. god luke/colin has never looked hotter. he might as well as rolled his eyes back in head lol

it's titty season yall. TITTY SEASON BABY

i implore anyone reading this to find the clip of this scene without the music. not only bc nic and luke's moans are hot, but bc at one point he calls her beautiful and i think in that moment i died.

i think i could genuinely watch this scene 100 million times and notice something new every time

honest to god, one of the sexiest things about this scene is him watching her feel pleasure. like holy fucking shit, that is so hot.

moaning into each other's mouths??? you guys are absolute fucking FREAKS

colin saying the line about the carriage driver is so much better than pen lol

also in general show!colin is way better than book!colin. hands down.

the look colin gives her, both before their little kiss and than afterwards right before he gets out makes me fucking FERAL

him fixing her dress and hair is literally so cute i could cry

that once over he gives her when he gets out of the carriage…. why is he so hot?????

i just love how exhausted he is of her not understanding him sksksk

in conclusion i love love and i love polin. when part two comes out, no one talk to me bc i will in fact be an absolute wreck thank you and good night :)

[cosmicalily]

nayeon - 'na' mini album review + ranking

'something' - when i heard the audio teaser for this, i was immediately SO excited. then when i heard the start of this song, i was even more excited. 'SAY MY NAME' who?? that guitar SCREAMS iconic y2k track. i love this genre for twice (see basics & rush) and i feel like the way this track was produced works SO well for the overall vibe of the album. liquid drum and bass (at least the very simple, dreamy style of it) has become almost a bit overdone in my opinion due to the newjeansification of kpop (not dealing with that here) but the use of the guitar in the background gives it that iconic y2k feeling similar to destiny's child and tlc. i think overall this is a really easy to listen to track, however i definitely did expect a little more from it after listening to the audio snippet. would've loved more of the nayeon rap because that's what i was most excited for!

'count it' - this is so dreamy, it reminds me a bit of 'wishing on you' from jihyo's solo album, which is one of my favs. i love a slow nayeon song that solely focuses on her super sweet, smooth vocals and i feel like it's nice to hear her lower voice for a change too, especially bc jyp absolutely makes her (and jihyo) work overtime with those high ass adlibs in their group songs. this was honestly everything i wanted from this song; slow, an easy listen, beautiful, minimal production that still doesn't feel boring or repetitive, and that ending was honestly my fave thing EVER! could listen to it on repeat, and most definitely will. it felt like the perfect outro song for this album too.

'magic' - that prechorus is SO delicious oh my god! nayeon and julie is literally giving the kpop version of every iconic collab in the 2010s between an insane vocalist and badass rapper (i'm thinking nikki minaj, ariana grande, iggy azalea before she got cancelled lol) however, i actually don't love the chorus as much as i was hoping! it definitely fits the vibe of the song but i feel like it didn't entirely live up to my expectations for it. of course, julie's vocals are absolutely insane, i'll never not go on about them, and nayeon absolutely ate! i feel like this track again matches the late 2000s vibes i'm getting from the album, with a little more this would have 110% been my favourite song.

'abcd' - NAYONCE WHO??? i'm actually not joking at all, this was absolutely what the kpop industry needed. that very typical young, teenager-y y2k concept has honestly been entirely overdone (yk what i'm talking about, every girl group and their mother's been a victim of it welp) so i'm SO GLAD that icons like kiss of life and now nayeon have decided to bring back mature y2k! we need trashy! we need camp! we need intense instrumentals and sassy raps and lyrics! pop was so cute and i adore it for her, but i love seeing the more adult concept for nayeon too, esp bc she's almost 30 now and i feel like she needed something a little more. this feels very very very much like crazy in love by beyonce, which kind of does unsettle me a little, it's not a bad thing but that song is VERY iconic so it feels like a very tricky song to try and replicate even when its done a bit differently, because there's always gonna be comparisons regardless and a song like that just cannot be outdone, no matter how iconic nayeon is. however, it's different to all the recent releases we've had in kpop so imma let it slide. also, i was VERY disappointed by the fact that this track, the TITLE TRACK, was less than three minutes. why tf are ALL of the bsides longer?? the math is not mathing. i was really hoping short song syndrome wouldn't hit 3rd gen kpop but apparently it has, which is actually so sucky. also i highkey hate jyp's promotion methods bc y'all did NOT need to spoil the entire chorus?? like i would've enjoyed this so much more if it was a suprise yk. that felt like a really dumb move especially when there wasn't even a super different crazy end chorus so that felt like a bad decision but oh well. solid title track, 9/10 (-2 for the shortness of the song and promotions). and final thoughts, i feel like jihyo also would've eaten this concept up. after seeing namoji perform 10 minutes, i've been needing them to do a song as a subunit and i feel like this would've fitted them as a trio SO well.

'halligalli' - she's cute, she's bubbly, but not too childish either. she JUST fits into this album's concept in my opinion, and it feels like the classic twice bside recipe (this isn't a bad thing, but it does sound like something i've heard before from twice and it fits into their discography well). however, sticking to the classics isn't a bad thing at all, often if you have all new genres an album can feel daunting and too diverted from the identity you felt the artist was originally showing. so i think this is a very safe but cute track. it'll go on my playlist, but i feel like she's a tiny bit forgettable.

'butterflies' - can someone explain to me why this wasn't on the 'im nayeon' album? because this SCREAMS that concept. it's super cute and very nayeon-esque, but i feel like it takes away from the more mature concept this album was leaning towards? it feels very teenage y2k lovesong, which is super cute, but this album was gearing more towards iconic y2k artists in their adult prime so i feel like this doesn't quite resonate with that. i'll definitely listen to it because it's a good track, but probably not in conjunction with the rest of the album since it doesn't fit my mental vibe for it lmao.

'heaven' - out of the two slow tracks, 'count it' was honestly my favourite. i think its also because this song was fully english and it felt like an overload of entirely english songs in this album, which is lowkey weird for me to say as an international fan, but it feels like twice is trying too hard to globalise its audience and is forgetting about their initial fanbase. like twice has been doing one english track in their albums for a bit now, but even the title track for this album was very english heavy and so were most of the bsides. three out of six bsides were english, and the others still have a lot of english lyrics. anyways, it just didn't stick out to me as much as the other songs, still very sweet and nice to listen to but not particularly outstanding in my eyes. it'll definitely end up on my playlist though!

let me know your opinions on this comeback. i personally adore this image for nayeon and think it was overall a solid album!

[lovesung127]

Golden Age album review

Baggy Jeans-okay first of all the mv is absolutely wild. im like gagged. my jaw was dropped the whole time. probably screamed more times than i'd like to admit. THEY ALL LOOK SO HOT OMGOMGGMOGOGMSAJSDHAIDAJVI. the little insta photo with ten in 7thsense AHHHH. couldn't stop giggling at the bridge part with doyoung. the song itself is so catchy. LOVE LOVE LOVE jaehyun and doyoung's vocals in this song they ate it up. also when mark goes "yea boy" it ignites something in me. the bridge is so good and mark taeyong and ten ateeee. ALSO THE CHOREO IS SOO GOOD I LOVE ITT ESP THE END CHORUS

Call D- okay the intro is cute i love the like game boi sound. ALSO TAEYONGS VOCALS WHAT AHOVDKDKO okayy the chorus is so cute and upbeat i love. reminds me of some krnb song but i can't remember which one. kinda love the outro

PADO- okayy introoo. love taeyong's opening verse and johnny's too! eat it up hendery! XIAOJUNS VOCALS?!?! love haechans part! jaehyun's voice fits this so well. and i love mark's raps! OMFGG THE CHORUS AHASHSJHDSIHVUKV I LOVE IT AHAHHHHSDHHDHFHDVHV bridge is eating. love the whistling too

Interlude: Oasis- omfg is the chenle in the intro bc omg his voice is so heavenly. I LOVE JAEHYUNS WHISPER RAP THING! AND OMFG YUTAA! AND WINWIN AND JAEMINS RAP OKAYY! THIS IS SUCH A NICE COMBO OF RAPPERS OMGOMGOMGM THE CHORUS IS SO CATCHYY AND CVNTY

The BAT- wait i love the intro sounds so dream like. omg jungwooo HSHDSKSDKFDJ omg whoever is syaing "my bat" or something like that in the whisper voice OMFG? JENO AND JISUNG FAST RAPPING GAGGED ME TO MY CORE. WHOEVER THAT WAS ATE. OMFGG THE BRIDGEE AHJOFSJOF THE HIGH NOTES. this is so good. and yuta's vocals ate as he always those. im like dancing in my seat omfg. that was so good

Alley Oop- YUH OKAY! omg yangyang ateeeeee! and jaemin. YEEEE JISUNG OKAYYYYY! YAS JENO! WAIT WHOS DEEP VOICE SINGING IS THAT BC OMGGGG! i love this song its so like football stadium coded. yuta is slaying the vocals. okay slay winwin and hendery! IS THAT JISUNG SINGING?? major ass shaker. THE BRIDGE IS SO HEAVENLY OMG I LOVE IS THAT JISUNG SINGING AHAHAHAHHAHAHH I LOVE IT. i love the whole songs build up. okay adlibbbsss

That's Not Fair- YUHHH TAEYONGGGG! okay jeno and johnny. STOP I LOVE THE SINGING PART OKAY LIKE MARK LEADING AHSDFJFJKJ. like very musical marching! loved tens vocals. YESSSS YANGYANG IS SINGING! i love marks second rap. OMG THE WHISPER RAPPING PART. the melody sounds so familiar but i can't figure it out. i love the low voices

Kangaroo- the intro is cute like show choir vibes IS THAT TAEIL OPENING BC SLAY! STOP I LOVE WHEN YANGYANG AND JISUNG SING. this is such a cute and summer song! love chenles vocals and kun and renjun serveeed! this song is very beach vibes like im imagining sitting on a beach chair and waves are going in and out

Not Your Fault- oooo love the piano intro. YASSS RENJUN. Taeil's voice sound so nice omgggg. doyoung's voice fits this genre so well. ahhh the adlibs sound so good!!! jungwoo's voice sounds so sweet and heavenly and xiaojun's voice sounds so heavenly. the vocal unit atteeee

Golden Age- the switch up from doyoung's vocals to marks rap took me out. i was baffled. but yangyang's rap!!! WINWIN HAS LINES! I LOVE XIAOJUNS VOICE AHHHH!!! the bridge slayed. the mv was also so cool. this song is so coming of age movie ending coded. they all ate!

okay this whole album slayyed! like the members they did for each song all fit each other so well its wild. also their voices all sound so good together AHHH. my favorites are probs baggy jeans, pado, the bat, alley oop, and interlude:oasis is really good too! GO STREAM BAGGY JEANS AND THIS ALBUMMM!

[craw-dacious]

Review of the making of the map by fox_pitch

I'm new to marauders, this is the second fic I've read.

Summary: I liked this fic, a lot. It was a fun read and I really liked the progression of both Wolfstar and James/Lili (is it Jilly? I can’t remember). A bit less angsty than what I usually read and some parts felt underbaked, but the author kept my attention INCREDIBLY. I stayed up about four hours later than I usually do binge reading this. Very good.

SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE BEWARE

Since chapters are shorter ill do bigger recaps infrequently throughout, but still little chapter notes

Chapter one

YES THEY’RE NOT GAY YET

Cannot wait to see this unfold <3333

Aw they’re so cute, definitely a wolf star focus

I hope this goes through seventh year so I can see James and lily play out

Chapter two

Why did I not process its the first day of term thats wild and crazy

Ok so lily still is buddies with Snape which tracks timeline wise I guess

Do they pants him at the end of the fifth or sixth year I can’t remember

I am confused on the lily dynamic tbh what does she think of the group

Chapter three

This one kinda ate, im liking the short chapters I get more invested in each part of the story

Obviously I know they’re not just gonna kill off Peter, but him dying in the shack did cross my mind

I wonder when lupin gets the potion stuff

Chapter four

MURDER MYSTORY??? HOW FUN

I hope remus gets over himself soon how was Sirius supposed to know how intense the situation was bruh

Blanket statement that I apologize for all shitty teenage boy behavior they need to chill

Chapter five

Calling him inbred is hilarious Im liking remus’s pov

Hes gay James stop

Literally he’s gonna go be ur wingman be happy

Good chapter very chill

RECAP FIRST FIVE CHAPTERS

I like the silliness thats been in this so far. I am NOT liking that remus and Sirius aren’t talking to each other. Is it a narrative device? Absolutely. But I despise it so much.

I think Sirius’ characterization is very good so far, I’m surprised they haven’t fleshed out the Regulus stuff more yet. Hopefully will get his pov soon

God I hope this is a save reggie fic cmon

I really hope this passage is the one to honey dukes.

Im sure the plots about to pick up more since they’re actually making the map

Chapter six

If I was lily I would’ve folded so fucking fast bruh

Like I know he’s annoying but like he’s cute, and likes her so much, and is clearly like progressive what is the problem

Anyway, sirius needs to chill if he wants to be gay

Chapter seven

Closet time closet time its time to be emotional in the closetttt

Calling him a cat is funny

Sirius is my fave because he’s also like a fixer upper with issues but he’s not EVILL he just has trauma

And he actually wants to be the best version of himself yk (unlike some dumb ass fucking bitches I know)

Chapter eight

SHE DID NOT JUST CRUCIO HIM

Cradling his head

Sirius licking him

God can marlene just fucking kill herself please

Chapter nine

Honestly there is no world in which I wouldnt feel awkward with my friends jokingly offering to kiss me as a form of like emotional comfort like thats not normal

Like my best friend gave me a big hug after I broke up with my ex she’s not gonna go “oh haha idk what else to do other than make out with you lol lol.” Sirius what the fuck

Anyway I love to see the lily and James bonding but I can tell it makes remus feel lonelier

Wonder if we’re gonna get Peter development at all

Chapter ten

I dont even want to write uodates anymore because im liking the fic too much

Hes so stressed abt being gay I thought he already knew he was gay bruh Sirius is clueless obvi

Chapter 11

JUMPSCARE FANART BAD BAD FANART ITS TERRIBLE

Love how the maps coming together

This is not going over well with Sirius im sure

12

Ok so bed making out

Im so fucking horny I need to make out with someone STAT

Preferably someone with a penis bc it confirms they like me but tbh I don’t give a shit

Its 1:12 am

So it did go over well with Sirius. I expected some internalized homophobia or something but he’s actually being chill for once

OKAYYYYYYY RECAP TO CHAPTER TWENTY ONE 💋💋💋

so i got so engrossed in the story that i forgot to write my chapter notes

but so far i feel fantastic about it

LOVE LILY AND JAMES' DYNAMIC ITS SO GOOD

the regulus thing is making me want to kms. i have like no hope for reg redemption bc the fic isn't long enough, and i feel like all that happens will be the murder mystery and MAYBE gay shit

sirius was SO STUPID with marlene like clearly remus has some issues with being open and you need to like discuss,, not make out with some other bitch

also them both being bi is not what i expected? feel like remus should be gay

peters character is... interesting. why are they friends with him. also he has bo gryffy qualities wtf.

Recap AGAIN but not done yet

Ok, the wormhole shit is interesting. Poor elves.

I wonder what happened to them, is this the in between place or whatever?

They’re being too romantic on the battlefield you gotta lock in guys

Also I thought an avada grazing you killed you no matter what

Also Sirius fully used crucio and nobody like cared other than remus. Like no commentary

WHERE’S JAMES BRUH

Hilarious. Peak comedy. Coming back to life and IMMEDIATELY kissing Lily. Her being grossed out. Literally perfect.

Ok the introduction of the OOTP, seems good.

Honestly really like what I’ve seen in the fic, but it’s a bit TOO silly for my tastes. I need more angst.

Like obviously I want Remus and Sirius to be openly gay and in love but it was too easy in this fic, like with Destiel its always SUCH an issue lmao.

TOTAL RECAP:

I liked this fic, a lot. It was a fun read and I really liked the progression of both Wolfstar and James/Lili (is it Jilly? I can’t remember)

I do feel like it was a little too light at times, there wasn’t a whole lot of grey area morally, and a lot of big issues weren’t fully fleshed out. I wish they’d dived into Regulus more, and Snape. I wish they’d addressed Sirius’ use of the Cruiciatus curse, and I wish they’d address Dumbledores failings more directly

Werewolf shit was fantastic to read, the angst, the fear, the violence, the drama. I thought the transformations were excellently done and I really enjoyed the progression of them figuring out the roaming/playing

Hogsmeade passage shut off? Strange.

I did not enjoy that I cannot be sure they are safe. That’s a benefit of post-hog warts fic, if its truly marauders James and Lily often don’t die.

Overall very happy fic. I did love the aggressive use of drunkness as a plot device, I liked Lily’s characterization for the most part, and it was pretty addicting in the middle.

I thought Characterization was good, not fantastic but definitely good. Peter threw me, not very likable. It’s hard to do him correctly and have him add worth to the story, but I just did not like him the whole time, and I felt like Remus and Sirius both didn’t care for him and found him annoying.

7.5/10 <3

My rankings are not supposed to be biased. Horrible shitty fic would get like a one, something readable but bad would get a fourish. Most fics that I read will be around 7-9 simply because I sort by Kudos and get recs from misuss so they’re better quality to begin with.

Great light silly read, with just enough depth to keep it interesting. I could see myself re-reading this fic once I get to know the marauders better.

Also, I do not like the fanart in this fic but I'm sure that's not universal. The artist is credited within the fic but I'd like to tag them here just to acknoledge the hard work that went into it. I checked them out and ADORE some of their other work, this one was just not to my liking. They have some percy jackson shit up that EATS.

@komodokai on instagram

[cantbrowsewithoutaccount]

Star Wars Jedi: Battle Scars spoiler review

Let me start off by saying I love the game and finished it only recently, with the characters still fresh in my mind. I was excited about the book. I ate it up. 

Do I love the book? No. But I don’t hate it either and I don’t think it is terrible.

The characterization in this book is good, great, even. It lets you live in the character’s heads and see the world through their eyes. Their internal dialogue is fitting, especially Cal’s in my opinion. He is headstrong, stubborn even, devoted to a point of recklesness. His world has a bit of humour in it, too, and I though it wasn’t misplaced. He’s had this little spunky side of him in the game, too. Love it. 

There are some great points of conflict in this book. The fact that the Mantis crew is not as united in spirit as some of its member may think, something I suppose will tie into the second game where we don’t see the group together. There are wonderful moments of debate and fears and how each character deals with it. I liked it. Greez has an important moment and is not overshadowed, he’s given a proper voice as he should. Not just being shelved at the pilot seat all the time. Cere is being pivoted towards her position in the next game (trailer) and her behaviour is belieavable. I liked that Cal is still unfinished in a sense, he sees himself as a weapon, as a brute force that he wants to have a purpose, and he’s decided it’s to defeat the empire. He goes far enough that sometimes you wonder if he is still a Jedi or just a vigilante with a lightsaber. I like that. And I think the book gave him enough foundation to build into this idea - this unfinished, unpolished Jedi who’s left to his own devices to decide what being a Jedi even is or means.

Saying that, I am not a fan of making Cere his new Master - his new mentor. She even calls him a Padawan in one scene. Have we forgotten that Cere herself knighted Cal a Jedi knight? He’s grown past this trauma and became a man, that was the entire point of the first game I thought? And his behaviour seemed to reflect this, he was confident and took on this “leader” role in a lot of instances, clear signs of growth. I wanted to see a lot more about his knighthood, maybe see it brought up in moments when he doubted himself. Also, why does his ass have to be saved all the time? He’s very capable. He’s much stronger than at the beginning of his story. I wish he had more agency in his own book.

And this brings me to a point I wanted to make: this really isn’t much of a Cal’s story. He is in it, but the main focus is on Merrin. This isn’t wrong on its own, she is a very interesting character and I desperately wanted to know more about her. Do I feel like her characterization is good? Yes. I do. I don’t mind her being this easy-to-crush passionate person. I don’t mind her loving easily and I understand her trauma tied to Dathomir. But... she can’t talk about it with Cal? Really? Saying she felt connection to Fret because she let her be angry felt a bit too convoluted and just... stupid. Cal who is known and even described as this amicable, sweet, compassionate guy was not someone Merrin could confide in? I understand the point that the Jedi want to feel peace, and him and Cere have moved on, and I’m glad that this is not retconned by the novel, but Cal absolutely felt fear and fury and was angry. He would understand. He would help, not just worry for Merrin in the background. Am I a bit mad that he was not the one Merrin felt connected to so strongly? Yes. They even mention that they have a connection but just don’t ever expand on it.

I am getting a bit side tracked. New characters: Fret. Her girlfriend. I don’t mind them and I think they served the story just fine. There were not very interesting to me personally, I couldn’t really connect with them. But I think that is my fault, because my headcannon of Merrin and Cal being together kept knocking on my skull whenever Fret was there. I won’t like a character just because Merrin sleeps with her and Cal can’t help but “like her”. Why? Why should I like her? You gave me nothing but a conflicted romantic interest that you tried to hide behind cheesy descriptions of her body. Calling her “beautiful” and “hot” won’t change my mind: I wanted to throw her out of the airlock.

The romance: it felt rushed. It felt too much like a fanfiction. It made me blush and I audibly said “Noooo, they didn’t.” a few times. Was it fun? For sure. Was it fitting to the story? No. I am not one to shy away from smut, I love a good romance story. But this is a Star Wars story. About family, about being lost and about finding your connection to the outside world and someone in it. The game set a standard, a higher standard than we are unfortunately used to by Disney, and it was this beautiful, deep story that you could relate to. These raunchy parts in the book made it feel... childish, cheapened. I can understand the connection between Fret and Merrin, even if I don’t agree with it, without hearing about their plush lips and reading description of Fret’s tight and ripped bod. Cal being a dumbass and mistaking Merrin’s hickey for a bruise from a fight? What? There is a place for these stories, and it’s on ao4, not in the official novelization. It is not wrong - it is just so, so out of place that it is jarring. I would much rather hear Merrin’s internal monologue and know more about her history - her world of Dathomir and her Magick. I liked that she was losing her “fire”. I liked that she found a way how to gain it back. But it could have been done more gracefully.

This is my main point with this book. It reads like a fanfiction. It is nice to read and easy, you rush through it like a lightning. But is that it? So many phrases and descriptions in this pulled me right out because I recognize them from smut oneshots.

+ I do have to say that I liked the battle scenes - the combat felt fluid and nice to follow.

I also kind of like the story, even when you know from the start that it has to be something without real consequence or payoff, because it is hard to fit something in between “official” stories without overshadowing what they’ve already got going on. It was good for what it was, I liked how the story tied together. There were some rough spots - Is nobody worried about the fact that someone can track the Mantis for weeks? An Imperial? The weird bird dude? Are we gonna talk about that?

Cal feeling these tinges of jealousy without giving them a name was nice. I like the idea of him being so fiercely protective, so lost in his idealogy that he hasn’t even thought about romantic love, but is slowly coming around to it. He’s getting curious. His and Merrin’s relationship is so sweet and supportive, and I do enjoy that this Merrin’s story still does not rule him out like a potential love interest, because I really do wish to see that happen. This clash of cultures and idealogies is such a rich field and I want desperately for something to grow there, tall and strong.

Maybe in the game. Maybe in the game. But not in a “make out in the fresher” kind of way, please. No more.

The book leaves us at a set up for the game while not really answering much about Merrin or anybody else. It is fun, it is definitely not terrible. But it just leaves me with higher hopes for the game.

Number rating seems very limited but if I had to, I’d give it 6/10.

[russilton]

I’m thinking about starting a fish tank! Do you have any advice on a tank for beginners? I’m a broke college student so my budget is like $150 and I don’t want to get a massive tank.

I can absolutely give you some advice, but also I want to stress upfront that if I seem a little discouraging, it comes from a place of caring about the welfare of fish in the pet trade. They’re all questions I had to ask myself before I got my fish and are why I waited so long to get mine.

So to start with- don’t get goldfish

Don’t get goldfish. don’t get goldfish? Don’t get goldfish!

I LOVE my goldfish, with my whole heart. They are the pet I wanted more than anything for a good part of my life. But there is no goldfish that is compatible with a small tank. Even the fancy ones need a minimum 50 gallons (30 for one, 10 each for two more, they are social and need to be kept in groups). Long bodied goldfish are pond or big tank fish, my tank is 5ft long, it takes an hour or more to clean each week, and when I eventually move with them? Moving it will take 4 people and two cars. Why will I have to move with them? They can live 10-20 years. They shit like machines because they have a massive bio load. You can’t keep most plants with them cause they’ll eat them, and you have to make sure nothing in their tank can fit in their mouth or they’ll eat it. They are aquatic toddlers. Don’t get goldfish!

Okay with that out the way, there are lower budget friendly fish, but please consider that they’re a pet and while you can do most moderate fish vet care at home, you will be their vet and that can be expensive. There’s been more than a couple times my boys have taken up my free spending budget to get chemicals or food they need.

Make sure caring for them is something you can fit in your weekly schedule. You’ll need to clean their tank every week by doing a water change, this maintains a healthy nitrogen cycle. This means removing some water and then replacing it with fresh dechlorinated water, swishing filter media in old water, and removing waste and any plant trimmings you may need to do. Fish keeping is like keeping an entire ecosystem, you’re trying to create an out of place environment, and that means you’re the boss. Same goes for reptiles and amphibians.

Last point before I get to some recommendations: do your research. Do it online. NEVER rely on a pet store for your lone source of advice. I love my local fish store but I don’t trust even them as my sole source of info. Also be wary of where your info is coming from. If a website is owned by an aquatic product company, they’re going to give you info that favours their products.

Get yourself well, well acquainted with the nitrogen cycle, it’s the foundation of fish keeping. Make sure you research every flora or fauna you want to put in your tank, know it’s needs and if you can meet them, and how it interacts with other fish or animals. I had a fish die because he ate one of his tank mates I was assured he wouldn’t and it gave him bloat. Mistakes happen, and I was devastated by it. You don’t have to always assume the worst, but be prepared for it.

Genuinely the best advice can come from Reddit. I know, I KNOW, reddit is full of know-it-all pains in the ass. And that’s why it’s great for aquarium info, because you will find no greater treasure trove of guides and wikis on recommended care, because these folks will have spent a lot of time correcting people’s care, and have made guides to point people to. Every question you can think of has been asked. I’ve frequented the r/goldfish sub when I needed care advice or just wanted to share my boys. YouTube can also be great if you want more gentle and personable advice. There is a product review for everything and a treatment guide for any ailments. Research the critter you want back to front and back again. Know their diets, lifespan, favoured habitats. Look at how other successful keepers are keeping their fish.

Please never settle for the bare minimum. Just because a fish CAN live in a lacking environment doesn’t mean they should. Just you wait till you see their little personalities come out, I can’t imagine not doing the best I can for my boys when I see their little bodies light up when I walk into the room. Their love is humbling.

So, recommendations! First of all: tanks

If you’re in America, I believe petco (or pet smart? Google it) have something called a dollar a gallon sale. This is insane and I wish we had it here. If you want something small, 5gal can keep a betta fish quite happy, if you can spare the space, a 10 gal is much better! I have an 11 gal tropical that I find the maintainance on finicky, but easier than the big tank. The bigger you have the more you can keep. Anything you keep in 15gal or below tends to be considered a “nano” tank, and it’s best to follow guides for those kinds of tanks. But also, be wary of articles trying to tell you one kind of fish CAN live in a nano tank, and every other keeper site going “okay but it should be in a 20 because it needs to be kept in a school”

My currently uninhabited tropical 11, looking a little hairy. The heater broke and I’m waiting till I can get a new one, but the plants don’t much mind since it’s in a heated room.

If you don’t have access to cheap tanks new, try eBay. Yes eBay. My 126 gal 5ft tank? £41 second hand from a downsizing cichlid breeder. It should have cost £500 or more new. You can get some insane deals on stuff from smaller businesses on there too. I’ve also been told to keep an eye on Facebook marketplace. I tried but I abhor Facebook and favoured eBay.

Equipment and chemicals:

You don’t have to go to the fancy brands but trust me it’ll last longer and probably work better. The stuff I bought from a good and mostly trusted label always stuck around. It’s also good to buy from smaller fish focused businesses, because they’re putting the work in to test and cater to fish keepers. I’ll always go to somewhere like seachem or fluval, rather than pets at home, even if it’s more expensive, because my fluval siphon still works so well two years later, and seachem prime and alert has yet to steer me wrong. If you can, invest in higher quality foods too. I’ve got so many compliments on my fish after switching to repashy gel. It’s more dear but I can prep the food and freeze it in advance, it’s much nicer on their tummies, they love it, and it comes from a company that focuses on exotic pet food blends.

If there’s one thing you don’t cheap out on, filters and heaters. They are the engines that keep your tank moving, and if they break it’ll leave you scrambling.

When you’re doing your research, make sure to look out for having emergency supplies ready. I have a make shift hospital tank stocked away, back up battery air pumps incase there’s a power outage, and a large lidded bucket should my tank fail and the fish need to be put elsewhere.

Plants:

If you’re keeping anything other than goldfish, you will probably want some tropical plants! It can be expensive to start and a bit scary looking, but they’ll help your filtration by eating up all the adverse chemicals in your tank! Plus, it’s self growing decor.

I can personally recommend Anubias, Chinese water weed, crypts, Java fern, Amazon swords, Mariano moss balls, hornwort, Java moss.

All of these are low light low tech plants that don’t take much care, and those first three are my faves. A good local fish store can help you pick some that suit you, mine did!

Finally, the bit you were probably looking for: fish

Assuming you’re going for a small nano tank, I would genuinely recommend a betta fish!

They’re generally affordable, not too much maintenance, don’t need to be kept in groups (in fact, you SHOULDN’T keep them in groups, solo only), and so pretty and full of personality. Do not follow any advice that lets you think you can keep them in fuckin vases, you can’t. But you can keep them in 5-10 gal heated planted tanks.

Please avoid buying them from anywhere that sells them in cups, I know it’s tempting to save them, but all you’re doing is encouraging that business by giving them money. I have seen people get sicker ones free, but be prepared for that potential heartache. They aren’t sold like that in the U.K. usually and you should only be buying from places that keep them in small isolated tanks. Support businesses that care for their fish, and you will get a healthy fish for it. Remember for chain stores, it can benefit their business model that your fish dies and you come back to get a new one. Not all stores are like that, but some are.

If bettas aren’t your ball game, consider nano schooling fish like raspbora or some tetra! I’m personally looking at pygmy corydora and ottos for my small tank.

And don’t count out invertebrates! Look up Amano of Neocardinia shrimp! (Aka cherry shrimp), I will be getting myself some! There’s also so many freshwater snails, and you’ll probably end up with some whether you like it or not. I have hitchhiking ramshorn and mystery snails in my nano. I couldn’t kill them if I tried! They just plod along growing in my tank without my help at all.

At the end here it’s worth just saying: you are going to make mistakes. You will. We all do. You may lose fish for it, and it’s heartbreaking. I’ve lost fish in my learning journey and it strikes you down hard. But that’s why it’s important to do your research, it reduces the likelihood of it, and means YOU know that you did your absolute best.

Got to the end? I’m proud of you! That was so much, here’s a video from last night of my boy tiger bothering me for cuddles while I was scrubbing. He won’t leave me alone till I stroke his back or tummy. If it looks like the water is low, it is, we were doing a big big clean yesterday.

[thenixkat]

The generic pop culture dragon review (4 legs, 2 wings, 1 head) part 1

Meatlung the Gronkle from How To train your Dragon

7/10. She’s lumpy, dumpy, cute and craggy. Her little wings buzz like a bee’s! This is a dog in the body of a lump. 

Red Death also How to Train Your Dragon

10/10. This lady is absolutely lovely. She’s hefty and craggy and intimidating. The shape of her mouth, crest, eyes, spines, and tail club are delightfully odd. She’s got 6 eyes! She’s massive but not absurdly big, with nice understated but not murky colors. She’s just a fucking kaiju compared to the others in thsi series, even compared to the other big dragons that lack her heft and menace. Also she actually looks lizardy with her limb proportions and set up.

Saphira from Eragon (film)

4/10. While I love how birdy and functional her wings look, I hate her smooth face and human eyes. Her face gives me ‘how do we show this dragon is female?’ vibes in a way that I hate. Her coloring is too muted and uniform and her freaky human eyes don’t stand out as much as they should.

Saphira from Eragon (book cover)

5/10. She’s got a much more visually interesting face. Look at those tentacle eyebrows and horse nose/fleshy beak  combo. The lenth of the scales on her neck give of an impression of feathers. 

Dragon from Shrek

5.5/10. Visually she’s not much to look at. And her wings are very nonfunctional looking (they’re barely attached). But the make up is fucking wild. Also she straight up ate the bad guy, which is something I always want good guys to do. (Like Shrek, Fiona, yer fucking ogres. Ogres specifically eat people. Eat the fucker you don’t like). The donkey dragon babies she ends up having are certainly... a choice.

Draco from Dragonheart

7/10. One of those dragons who’s def a character with their own story. Not personally a fan of ‘the last dragon’ plots but I like that this dragon does have some magic. Also how many dragons have you seen that participate in conning people?  I dislike how his colors don’t really pop and run together, brown is a good color but ya gotta use it right. His wings also bother me. They’ve got good surface area but they don’t really attach to his body.

Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty

8/10. This is a lovely design. I love how chunky she is and how emotive her spines are. The color of her tongue makes it look like a flame. Also the big ass nostrils and beak are very fun. Her tail is forked as in actually forked. Also she’s a fairy dragon and compared to everything else I’ve seen labeled as a fairy dragon, she’s a breath of fresh air.

Slyrak from Dota: Dragon’s Blood

8/10. Hard to find good pics of this man. This dragon is voiced by Tony Todd, this dragon has a sexy voice. The whiskers/tentacles on his face are a good touch. He’s got an interesting aged and lanky feel, very craggy old man, with good wings that show tattering. What’s really impressive is how feared this dude is, his sheer fucking fire power, and also the fact that he’s intelligent and still fucks people up just b/c he feels like it.

Dark Dragon from Burn The WItch

8/10. Before its face slid off it was delightfully cute in a lumpy way. Then its fucking face slid off for a lovely dash of horror on this otherwise cartoony sauropod shaped dragon. I love it.

Cinderella from Burn The Witch

10/10. I love her. We see her in multiple forms. Her second form is so very Digimon, she’s so gangly and awful bird. She can turn invisible. Her majestic form only happens under moonlight and she’s so graceful and glittery. But the glitter is bombs and she’s mean. Also the lace-like patter at the edge of her wings is a nice touch. And so is the continued birdyness in this nigh-unkillable murder machine. My biggest complaint is that her name should have been something like Ugly Duckling instead of Cinderella b/c that fits so much better.

[harryfeatgaga]

Don't Worry Darling Review!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

OKAY SO right off the bat, amazing cinematography and the score and soundtrack are incredible like seriously two of the best parts of the movie hands down. The visuals and aesthetic were just fucking stunning I'm obsessed and Palm Springs was truly the perfect place to have filmed it in.

The fucking costumes!!!!!!! Oh my god it deserves awards honestly they were so good and just added to the whole aesthetic and vibe of the movie 10/10. Harry in suits will always be sexy I fear.

Harry my beloved.........he acted his fucking ass offffff!!!! Like obviously I'm gonna think he's amazing no matter what but he truly did such an amazing job he played to extremes of his character and delivered what was needed every time. Like I was very aware for the first half that I was watching Harry Styles up there on the screen but the second half of that movie.....just wow.

Chris pine…..he was absolutely perfect for Frank. Everytime he spoke I got chills and was honestly so fascinated and interested to see what he was gonna say next like he was so believable I'd join a cult or something if he was the leader tbh. Him and Gemma together….wow stunning 10/10 Gemma was fucking incredible. I wish she had a bigger role but every scene and line she fucking DELIVEREDDDDD. And I was just in awe of her beauty everytime she was on screen.

Florence ate of course. The iconic frown/pout came out many times which always serves. She truly gave the performance of a lifetime (sorry syd stole your quote but it's true) like you felt so bad for her and was rooting for her the whole time and again especially the second half. Random but her hair looked incredible the whole time.

Like her or not but Olivia is a good actress and director. Her character was fucking hilarious and so good, and a lot of the times the comedic relief tbh, and the perfect counterpart to Alice .This movie isn't perfect as pretty much all aren't but it was so good it kept me on the edge of my seat and even though I had a general idea of what happened there was still so many parts I physically gasped out loud, covered my hand over my mouth and was just fucking shook.

Kiki was amazing wish she had been in it more she is so stunning I couldn't look away, she was incredible.

Nick Kroll im in love with you.......he was also hilarious him and the perfect husband to olivia's character and I wish he was in it more as well.

Asif also fucking hilarious and yet again wish he had been in it more but every scene he had was so funny lmfao this movie was way funnier than I thought it was gonna be. It was a good mix.

I'll put my closing statement here for those who don't want to scroll to the spoilers BUT overall I really fucking loved it. As a psychological thriller, horror and just movie fan this movie delivered exactly what I wanted and more. I knew I would like it either way but truly so relieved like I actually genuinely loved it and was so entertained and on edge the whole two hours.

AND HARRY WAS FUCKING RIGHT IT'S A MOVIE THAT FEELS LIKE A MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***************************************************************

THIS PART CONTAINS SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT DO NOT READ!!!!!!!!!!!

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Harry.............he was literally a whole husband like i believe all the little things he did is shit he does irl and i want to DIEEEEEE

THE FUCKING FIRST CAR SCENE WITH HIM AND FLORENCE….HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS THE MOST PAINFUL PART FOR ME BY FARRRRR HE WAS SOOOOO FUCKING CUTE AND SUCH A HUSBANDDDDD OH IM DEVASTATEDHFDJHJIK

The scene where alive and bunny are talking to frank and shelleys kids was so fucking funny like the okay bye bye! and the 'they probably sleep upside down' KILLED ME NFJBHUJDJK

The fucking......Bath scene……my fucking god the thoughts running through my head when he ever said 'lets have a baby, I want more of you, a little you' etc......I WAS SHAKINGGJNGJK!??!?!?!?

The party and tap scene was so fucking iconic like harry was tapping his ass off!!!! tap dancing king!!!

THE CAR SCENE WHEN HARRY'S SCREAMING BROKE MY FUCKING HEART HE ACTED SO WELL some people might think his sorrys and that weren't good but like he's acting like he's upset that shes getting taken away which im sure he is but also hes upset because of what this could mean for him and his job and life etc....the layers im just....I was so impressed with him.

Would love to just know more backstory especially around Jack and Alice like why did jack lose his job how did he get alice looking like that JNFGHUJCI and the song??? did he make that up as he was setting up the simulation or whatever or is that just a song of theirs they sang to each other like???? and also would love to know about bunnys back story especially the kids??? and how she knew the whole time that was crazy I did not see that coming at all!!!

The last like 30 mins of that movie are fucking insane like i was gasping out loud every few minutes i was SHOOK and like......that was not my harry I was blown away obviously he looked not himself at all those scenes were fucking crazy but even when he was jack in that last scene......holy fuck!!!!!! AND I DID NOT SEE WHAT ALICE TO HIM COMING AT ALLLLLLL LIKE OH MY GOD?!?!?!??!

[ofstormsandfire]

Wh. What's the Incident.

Alright. Buckle the fuck up, my lasses and lads and nonbinary chads. Today we're hearing about:

THE INCIDENT

(or: how Hope's opinion on coffee went from "will drink in emergency" to "ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT")

Picture a slightly babier Hope. Tiny and loud as hell, this little blonde bespectacled sophomore girl (for non-Americans, I was around 16) filled with the hubris that discovering high school theater had brought me and taking too many AP classes. That year, I took two, out of... thirteen total? (And I passed most of them, to the detriment of most of my mental health. Kids, don't take AP classes, or at least not the amount that I did.)

Obligatory fuck College Board, moving on.

That year, I had AP US History, and AP Music Theory, in that order. Both tests were on Fridays, the second a week after the first. This is important because the final review project the teacher for music theory was having us due was due a week before that exam.

This would have been a nonissue, except that this is me and I either get my work done weeks in advance or I'm procrastinating at the last minute. The smart thing to do would have been the former.

Obviously, because this is me we're talking about, I did the latter. If memory serves I'd finished the actual project with plenty of time to spare for a good night's sleep, but my mother's printer chose then to stop functioning halfway through printing it. (It was a themed study guide, I had a lot of fun making it and a lot less fun printing it.) I ended up staying up way later than usual, and by the time I finally cut my losses and went to bed...

...well. Getting up at ass o'clock the next morning, in order to drive nearly an hour to my high school for an AP exam starting at 8 AM... was suddenly looking even less appealing than usual.

It'll be fiiine, I thought, dragging myself out of bed like a zombie. I'll just chug some coffee. Tastes like shit but hey, Mom drinks it all the time and she only gets tired suddenly and coincidentally when I want to do something fun with her, so what could go wrong?

(A lot of things, as it turns out.)

(Also, babier me had yet to realize the depth of how fucked up the woman who birthed me was, and how much she'd fucked me up, but this ain't about her.)

So. Ate breakfast, yoinked a travel mug full of the coffee Mom drinks, and chugged it on my drive to school. That alone wasn't too bad, though I was getting a bit of a stomachache. I'd had worse, though. Besides, it was exam day and I didn't dress up as a lesbian cowboy with my then-crush for this class to not come out of it with the college credit I so rightly deserved.

Really, though, if a stomachache was the worst I got out of chugging a mug of crap-tasting coffee, I probably wouldn't have sworn it off for good. I would have relegated it back to the spot it had held up 'til then, which could be summed up as "drink in case of emergency."

I wasn't feeling too tired by the time I got to school. In fact, I was feeling like maybe I could actually do this. But I knew I'd crash eventually, and I did not want that to happen during the roughly four hours worth of exam ahead of me, and so I made a decision that would get me hubris-checked hard.

Y'see, some kind souls (mostly our teacher, who we'd all dubbed Mr. Bro because that's what his actual name shortened to and he was, in fact, quite chill for a history teacher at that school) had brought breakfast for our class. Which was good, because I hadn't eaten much at home, and was bad, because breakfast included some coffee from Starbucks. I didn't even know they sold it in containers you could fill smaller cups from. Apparently they did.

Within the... roughly half an hour, give or take a few, that I had before the exam started, I refilled my travel mug and drained it again twice. By then, well. I was feeling a little jittery, but I figured it would go away eventually. Jitters were good, right? Jitters meant that I'd be faster at taking the test.

The moment of truth, after a frantic thirty minutes spent desperately reviewing via Kahoot and chugging Starbucks coffee that tasted marginally less crappy than whatever my mom made, finally arrived. We all shuffled off to the gym. Made sure we had our number two pencils and water bottles and everything.

I walked into the gym...

...and then I woke up at home, in my bed, the next morning.

I did piece together what had happened later from context clues. According to my friends, I'd acted normal enough after the exam, if really, really, really jittery. And obviously I did okay enough in the exam, because I got a 4. (Scores go from 1-5, with anything above a 3 being a pass and usually only 4s or 5s being good enough for college credit.)

But, y'know. Funny thing, I don't like not remembering what I did! Even if it was probably a whole lot of mind-numbing boring shit that my brain probably did me a favor by forgetting. I'll probably be a blackout drinker, which I fully intend to test once I turn twenty-one in the safety of my own home with my dad, the Lord of the Rings trilogy of movies, and a TV Tropes drinking game I've had bookmarked in anticipation of that moment for as long as I can remember.

But, uh, yeah.

That's why I don't drink coffee anymore, ever.

Because I'm a blackout coffee drinker, and it seems incredibly ridiculous to type it out now, but. That sure was a thing that happened. In fairness, that probably also happened because I chugged so much in such a short period of time, but like... it doesn't even taste good? And it tends to make my stomach hurt.

It's probably the wildest story I've heard for someone not drinking coffee, but I'm sure someone else somewhere on the internet has a wilder one.

[formulinos]

Hyperfixation Corner | Review: Jacques VIlleneuve's Private Paradise

as a little celebration for my incredible mark of 300 followers, i wanted to do a very neat, very special hyperfixation corner! but since we're running on so little time and i'm very slowly doing my research for what i actually want to devote a long time, i decided to dive in the strange little world of jacques villeneuve for this small review of his 2007 cultural reset album "private paradise". i honestly am stunned. if you enjoy music, don't click in the jump after the cut tbh. but hey, you know you are curious to hear more about it!

(what the fuck! 300 followers!!!! thank you all SO VERY MUCH)

First of all, it's important to highlight that as much as this album SOUNDS as if it was done in 48 hours, it wasn't. Jacques started composing songs seriously (but as a hobby) in 1996, when he got into F1 (according to himself). He also took to himself to learn the piano in 97, so you know, he showed some affinity to music. In fact, as practically all three album reviews at the time will tell you, Seville Villeneuve was a piano teacher - hopefully not like Isabelle Huppert in that film - and taught it to Gilles, who also knew how to play the trumpet, very well if I say so. I'm gonna embed a video of it straight away because it's how I want to waste tumblr's one video rule:

Very nice. Anyway, his son Jacques started properly composing around 2000, taking five more years to decide to record some of those during Christmas. The madlad actually liked what he heard and, to be honest, driving for Sauber, he had enough time to devote himself to make a full LP. He got his sister, he got a bunch of friends, and he did 13 songs that I will never be able to forget in my life. After realeasing his first promo single "Accepterais-Tu ?"during the 2006 Canadian Grand Prix weekend (more on that later), Private Paradise was released to the world, and I'm sure that the 233 copies that were sold were very well enjoyed!

note: honestly, although it's pretty clear by now this is not a good one, i would like to put out a disclaimer that my own taste in music sucks. i'm not like The Other Girls, i listen to indie music, like arctic monkeys XD i also didn't get Sour, i'm honestly not proud of it because olivia rodrigo seems very dedicated to her aesthetic and her work and i wish i could enjoy it but it's not my type. basically, don't take music refs from me and don't believe that bc i didn't like it it means that if you did your taste in music suck. also tag your taylor swift i'm tired of everytime she releases a song you guys find a way to make graphics and parallels w her songs. 

Track 1 - Foolin’ Around: The second the album started playing and I heard the claps, snakes started manifesting in my house. It's never a good sign when a song starts with the beat in a folk rock album, and the guilar strums confirmed it. It's... derivative, it's incredibly generic, the lyrics are as deep as when I tried to learn bass guitar when I was 13 because I wanted to start a band after I listened to "A Hard Day's Night". But here's the thing, I knew when to stop, and this song didn't. It goes for too long, and the decision to repeat the WHOLE FUCKING THING after changing the pitch and a weird ass guitar solo is horrid. TBH all the songs in this are weirdly long, the whole album clocks at 54 min. Jacques would legit have benefitted from the Streaming pattern nowadays of 2 min 30 secs songs. 

Track 2 - You Are: He thought he ate with his vocals here, he really did and it's even heartbreaking. If Foolin' Around shows he doesn't know where to stop, You Are is the first evidence he didn't even know where to start (singing lessons). As always, the lyrics aren't deep at all, but it doesn't even matter bc it's kinda entertaining to hear him feel himself over his long notes. He struggles so much they had to resort to backing vocals in the same volume as the main ones... Absolute highlight to me!

Track 3 - Father: OK, they got me on this one. In fact, Melanie Villeneuve is the MVP of this album. As the title says, this is the Gilles Tribute Song, and to be fair, lovely. Melanie's voice is incredible, she conveys the emotion perfectly and hey, I'm not gonna slag off Jacques for not singing as well with his sister when you know, once you read the song lyrics, you can tell it's equal parts trying to honour and love their dad while also kind of dealing with the feelings of resentment for him not being there and for sometimes racing too hard and having to share their own grief with the legends of F1 fans who lost an idol. Fair play. I miss Gilles.

"It's a very important song. It's the only personal song on the album. I don't write personal stuff and I don't want to sing personal stuff either, but this one, because it's with my sister, I'm quite happy doing it."

Melanie singing 'Father' in the album launch, February 2007.

Track 4 - Tout Dire: Thankfully, Melanie's on-track involvement ends in Father and I can talk shit about Jacques in peace again. This one is iconic, tbh, he served it here. The whole gist of it is how some girl hurt routinely his feelings and he can’t act the same way as if nothing happened anymore. I think that his voice works better in French - barely but at least this song is more complex than the other two and feels less dated, or maybe French just matches the old people vibes of this album.

Track 5 - The Ones:  HONESTLY! FOR FUCK'S SAKE! This album is such a flop that there isn't a digitalised booklet anywhere and I almost considered buying a copy so that I could get more info on who else was involved in making this, but no one is selling this in here. If there isn't a single listing of your album in Brazil, you flopped. Anyway, the woman singing in this is Ely Breton and you need to put some respeck in her name because she sang for Cirque du Soleil's Delirium spectacle short after this. Lovely gal. Hate the song.

Ely killing the competition, same album launch in February 2007. There was literally one presentation of this ever and I beg them to #ReleaseTheVilleneuveCut

Track 6 - Accepterais-Tu ?: Jacques really listened to this once and said "I ended everyone's careers. This will be my lead single" and he thought it would be a good idea to release it BEFORE THE CANADIAN GRAND PRIX. This is where he lost the battle to Kubica, sincerely, if I was a backup driver I'd clown Jacques too. BMW Sauber probably talked to him after the German GP like "bruh honestly you can't come back. It's not because you're driving lazily and crashing the car all the time, it's because your song is complete wank". Even Steve Rider and Mark Blundell take the piss of him in this pre-race feature.

About the song itself: the thing about his French songs being more complex absolutely bites him back in the ass when he overdoes it. It's catchy, but in a way you wish brain bleach was a real thing and to make matters worse, he struggles SO hard with his vocals. If this was an IRL marriage proposal it would become a r/relationship_advice post in 2 months time.

Track 7 - Why Did You Come ?: IDK either dude. Again, it took me forever to find who is the milf singing in this with him and after quite a bit of googling, it seems to be Amélie Veille, who has a nice career it seems. Stream one of her songs instead. This one is completely forgettable and I got so tired looking for Amélie I forgot to write how I feel about it.

Yes. February 2007.

Track 8 - Vaguement: This is so dramatic and pointless... I don’t get the violins.. the Spanish Guitar vibes... the weird ass music video.... the way it's so long but then when it ends you’re like “what? now???"........ who did this.... electric chair...... my behated.....

Track 9 - Lullaby: I don’t know what overtook me, probably the hatred for Vaguement, but this one… was not so bad. Honestly, this wasn’t as much of a chore and it even gave space for some theorising because if you listen to it (and you are totally in the right not to), it sounds more of an adieu to F1 than a standard love song. Might also be quarantine brain but I feel like I’m realising things here and Mr. Villeneuve lied when he said Father was the only personal song in this album. All good work he did here was thrown out the window when he struggle vocals during the guitar breakdown and I found myself thinking of the superior Lullaby by The Cure. 

Track 10 - Private Paradise: 

It’s the title song and it absolutely fucks. Why lie for the tl? At this point I might have borderline Stockholm Syndrome but really, he looked camp in the eye and it looked back and they didn’t mind. He made an effort, it was cheesy and he embraced it. Let him have his little Coldplay moment! If there were more songs like this the album would have been more torelable. I absolutely hate how much I enjoyed this one

Track 11 - Étrangers: He bottled it but I am still under the effect of Private Paradise so I don’t even mind it. Again, another voice of an uncredited woman and unlike the other three, I can’t confirm nor deny who it is. I saw one single link that credited it to both Jacques and his half-sister Jessica (who if my math isn’t off was around 13-14 when they recorded it, such a prodigy!) but I failed to find anything on song credit databases.

Track 12 - Women Come Women Go: We get it Jacques you are sexist. I swear I laughed OUT loud at how he tried to rhyme “women” with “one man” KDJJSJSJJS PLEASEEEEEEEE not when the women featured throughout this mess didn’t save your day! Fuck off!!!!!

Track 13 - Mother Earth: FULL CIRCLE! THIS IS AS BAD AS THE FIRST SONG! If Lewis and Seb heard this ode to snow (Canadian or Swiss? It matters less than you think!) they would give up on all environment causes. Pair this with the Incel Manifest we just listened to and we can call it a Certified Jacques Moment. He’s so crazyyyyy I love him XD Oh, and the choir did their best!

Overall, I’m gonna grade this a 4/10 because I love Gilles. Basically, a 10 to all the women in this and a complete zero to Jacques. HOWEVER, I do have to cheer him on for the absolute balls it took to record this seriously and pursue his hobbies and while it does suck, again, I don’t think I would be able to do any better. Plus, it wasn’t just Jacques who went wrong here… several people listened to this and thought it was good enough to release it. Blame them equally!!! I think that if he did a sophmore album today, he would be better equipped. Good luck Jacques, don’t give up on your dreams and ignore the haters! To the rest of you lovely people that support me, thanks a lot and see you hopefully sooner than it seems! Screw you guys, I'm going home :D

[saikikissuo]

For the model Saimami and Oumota au, do it. Do it you coward. Feed me with headcanons and I will slurp them.

smirks and rubs hands together

for oumota, kokichi is actually a semi-popular streamer who plays genshin and minecraft a lot

he’s popular because he’s deceitful as fuck on minecraft and he’s insanely good at genshin

electro user kokichi..thoughts

but anyways kokichi used to never do facecam but soon enough he started to warm up to the idea and later, he began to do facecam when he was comfortable :)

kokichi lives alone, his fans are aware of this ( thanks to a q&a )

but every now and then his chat would hear some shuffling around in the background and doors shutting and they’d be like Wtf

kokichi is like yeah my apartment is actually haunted

everyone just kinda brushes it off

until One day.

kokichi is playing genshin or whatever and his facecam is placed to where the door of his bedroom is visible

they’re chilling honestly. just vibing

all of a sudden the bedroom door opens and in steps this TALL DARK AND HANDSOME MAN

chat loses their shit because WHOOO??!?:?$:)3?

he’s stepping in to ask kokichi where his hair gel is. because he stole it of course

kokichi kinda regrets it because then he’s gotta play this off with his chat

it wouldn’t be THAT bad if the mysterious tall dark and handsome man didn’t go “thanks, babe!” before walking out

kokichi is sick and tired.

when he turns back to look at the chat they’re all going bonkers

you could really only see his legs and his chest, but it was still a stark contrast to kokichi nonetheless

kokichi almost blushed on stream. almost

“yeah guys that was uh. that was the ghost”

“..why did he call me babe? the ghost and i have a very intimate relationship that’s why”

later on twitter he reveals that yes, the ghost is in fact his boyfriend

and that just made everything ten thousand times more chaotic

“KOKICHI’S BOYFRIEND IS KAITO?? THE MAGAZINE COVER MODEL????”

“yeah poggers isn’t it”

kaito makes appearances on his stream and it’s so cute because he sucks ass at genshin but finds every discovery on minecraft amazing

“KICHI LOOK THE DOG IS FOLLOWING ME AROUND”

[ while killing creepers around their house ] “yeah, they do that kaito”

and now....saimami....

saimami have a slightly different story

rantaro games sometimes but he’s also just kind of a lifestyle youtuber

his channel is very diverse

he does fashion reviews, travel vlogs, and gameplays!

his travel vlogs used to include just himself, but for a while he settled down in japan because he was Tired so it’s been gameplays and fashion vids from there on out

he met kokichi that way, actually

anyways, before he officially settled down in japan he would make travel vlogs on visiting the sights and all that good shit

but after a while..there would be a special guest who would always hide his face when the camera was on him

they called him rantaro’s goth bf and he would always blush and say that they “weren’t wrong that he might be a little goth, but we’ll see”

rantaro would often play video games with his friends and on streams, he would pause for a moment to look off to the side and speak super softly

everyone thought it was so cute..like they’d never heard rantaro do that before until then and it would appear in rantaro compilations on youtube HAHAH

that’s how people ended up thinking he had a partner though, because sometimes he would just look away from the stream to mumble goodnight or to say bye

later on, he finally made it public that he did in fact have a partner!!

they had recently moved in together and thought it was only appropriate to tell the Fans

he had a boyfriend who said he was a little nervous being on camera so he would just. stick his hand in front and wave sometimes

“his name is shuichi, but save all the cute nicknames for me. he won’t be joining us that much”

“give me all the cute nicknames and call rantaro ugly ones he deserves it cause he ate the yogurt i left in the fridge”

he’d say hi and start little banter with rantaro on occasion but that’s kinda all they got

until...One Day

on stream rantaro was going over some recent purchases, showing off some new clothes and bla bla

what’s new though was that he said he had a new model to help him show off the clothes

he called shuichi in and turned the camera to face him wearing one of the oversized jackets he got ( which looked absolutely precious on him mind you )

once again chat went BALLISTIC

because??? although he looked different they KNEW who that was

shuichi saihara, also known as one of the most-appearing models for top-quality suits and other formalwear for multiple brands

alongside kaito he was one of the more popular models you see on magazine covers

rantaro’s chat was going BONKERS

“WDYM SHUICHI IS RANTARO’S BOYFRIEND.....”

“pain.”

“are we surprised. rantaro is gorgeous”

“i have seen two pretty boyfriends”

so on and so forth.

shuichi noticed all of the comments and laughed a little bit

mainly because he felt a little nervous but rantaro just told him it was okay

“this basically means they like you”

“oh..well..i’m glad. :)”

chat explodes with little heart emojis and kissy faces

everyone is in love with shuichi saihara. everyone

not to mention that he and kaito often appeared together

plus rantaro and kokichi would stream together sometimes???

everyone gets psyched whenever they stream together and it is so cute

unlike oumota, rantaro doesn’t intentionally fuck up shuichi’s vibe when he’s teaching him how to play a game

like genshin, for example

funny thing is, i think shuichi would immediately have better luck and would be way better at rantaro at some games almost instantly

“okay shuichi so to get all of them at the same time y-“

[ all of them are dead by the time he finished the sentence ] “don’t worry i’ve got it”

rantaro..is strangely endeared by that

i like to think that people often tweet at kaito and r like “when are we getting a photoshoot with you and kokichi!!”

and kaito is like “kokichi will step on my toes mid shoot and i will cry. i’ve given specific instructions to not let that man anywhere near our photoshoot locations”

both couples have their own kinds of photoshoots anyways

oumota takes photos of their vacations, going out to meet up with rantaro and shuichi during the summer time

shuichi takes photos of he and rantaro together while they’re baking and the final results

shuichi is not good at baking. rantaro is.

either way..oumota and saimami in this au are friends and they are BEST friends. no further comment!

[onlydreamofmysoul]

Totally Worth It

The updated links for this series! (Ye’re probably so sick of me saying they can be read individually but I’m gonna say it once more anyways)

In the dark of the night

The best laid plans

Absolutely, unconditionally

What in the name of Merlin

Stand by me

Improvisation

Who would have guessed

Summary:  Nail varnish, trickery, leather jackets and bell bottom jeans. Just a regular Tuesday in the Gryffindor common room.

Oh my god Lily, you have to see this!” Sirius cried almost toppling out of his chair in his attempt to cross the common room to Lily. James, Remus and Peter all raised their eyebrows and exchanged confused looks, none of them having any idea what could have brought about such an outburst.

It was just a normal Tuesday evening in the Gryffindor Tower; first years were panicking over due assignments, the fire was crackling and the Marauders were plotting. They had decided their next trick would be to transfigure all of Dumbledore’s robes into the latest muggle fashions, so naturally Sirius had been flicking through one of Marlene’s magazines for inspiration. That had been before the outburst. Now the three other boys were left just with a piece of parchment containing several question marks and the words ‘flared jeans’ and ‘tie dye’

“Woah Sirius, slow down, you’ll run someone over.” Lily teased as the Black boy skidded to a stop in front of her.

“No time for that!” He cried as he frantically pointed to a picture in the magazine. “Have you seen this?”

Lily’s brows furrowed. “This? You mean the nail varnish?”

Sirius nodded his head as Lily laughed. “You’ve never seen nail varnish before?”

A couple of muggleborns near them giggled and Sirius raised his hands in a defensive stance.

“Hey it’s not my fault that pureblood families don’t go anywhere near muggle products.”

Lily bit her lip but she was still smiling. “Of course Sirius, you’re right, I’m sorry. I don’t have any here with me but I can owl my mother for some if you’d like?”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “You’d do that?”

Remus’ heart clenched a little. Sirius was still surprised when people did things for him with absolutely no ulterior motive.

Lily was already pulling out some ink and parchment. “Yeah of course. What colour would you like?”

Sirius’ face really was comical at this point. “There are different colours?”

Lily chuckled as she nodded her head. “Yeah, hmm let me see… how about I surprise you?”

Sirius leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “Lily Evans I could marry you.” He proclaimed grandly.

James leaned over to Remus. “Mate, do you think we should be worried that your man just proposed to my girlfriend?”

Remus looked at where Sirius was now enveloping Lily in a hug. “Yeah.” He teased. “We should definitely be worried.”

Remus’ studies were interrupted by his very excited boyfriend.

“Remus! Look at my nails!”

A pair of black painted nails were shoved right in his face and Remus actually had to catch Sirius’ wrist to move the hand in question slightly further away from his face so that he could actually see it.

“They’re really cool Pads.” He said grinning at the contagious excitement radiating off the boy in front of him.

“Lily says black is totally punk. They’ll go with my leather jacket, won’t they?”

Remus glances back down at his half finished essay and picked up his quill. “Yeah totally Pads.” He said, already starting to write again. He could hear Sirius moving around him but he had already zoned out – needing to finish this essay so he could get a head start on the rest of his work. Missing a few days every month wasn’t ideal, but Remus was lucky that teachers would let him know what they would be covering when he was out so that he could complete his assignments in advance. They had given him the option of catching up afterwards, but Remus preferred it this way; he already had enough to worry about without an intense workload on top of it.

He knew Sirius didn’t mind and that his boyfriend was happy enjoying his new accessories himself for a little while anyways. He was probably showing off to the entire common room. Scratch that – Remus knew his boyfriend – he was probably showing off to the entire school.

“Hey Moony.”

Remus glanced up from his essay to see Sirius standing in his leather jacket, clad in jeans so tight it was surely illegal, his hair half up, half down (in the way that Sirius knew drove Remus absolutely wild) and last but not least, the famous nails.

Remus’ mouth dried up.

“Wow Pads… you look… you look wow.”

Sirius smirked and strutted to Remus’ side. “I look hot.”

Remus huffed a laugh. “That’s an understatement.”

Sirius slid onto Remus’ lap and held his hands out so the pair could admire them as Sirius wiggled his fingers. “Nice, huh?”

Remus caught his hands and lifted them to his lips so he could press a gentle kiss there. “Very nice.” He agreed. He kissed his wrist, the crook of his elbow in that goddamn jacket, the soft skin where shoulder meets neck and finally, Remus kissed along Sirius’s jawline; he also knew what drove his boyfriend crazy – two could play at that game.

Sirius sighed and tilted his head so Remus would have better access but Remus pulled away and kissed his boyfriend on the lips just once before pushing him gently off his lap.

“I love you.” He said, highly amused at the indignant look of Sirius Black sitting on the floor. “But I need to finish my essay.”

Sirius rose. “Fine.” He announces as he flounced from the room, but he stuck out his tongue at Remus playfully as he left the room causing Remus to roll his eyes laughing. What a dork.

(His dork though).

“Okay boys, the day has come.” James said slinging his arms around Peter and Remus as the Marauders all walked into the Great Hall together for dinner. “We’ve planned for this, are we all ready?”

“You bet your ass we’re ready.” Sirius chirped, sliding into his seat, the rest of them following suit.

“Let’s just review one more time.” Peter said, always the worrier. “So I’ll transfigure his hat, James and Sirius, you’ve got the robes – James you’re doing the top half and Sirius is taking the bottom, right?”

“Right.” They both confirmed.

“And Remus you’re doing the shoes.”

“Yup.” Remus said popping the ‘p’ as he poured them all a glass of pumpkin juice. “Remember;” He warned them, “We all have to do it at the same time, so what’s the signal?”

“When he stands to speak at the end.” The others said in sync, words slightly muffled by the food they were now shoving into their mouths. Remus grinned. “We’re ready.”

The boys ate their dinner, relatively quietly as they all loaded their plates and exchanged secret, excited glances. This wasn’t one of their hardest pranks, not by a long shot but it was definitely one of their most daring.

“And now,” The headmaster said as he pushed back his chair and the hall fell into a silence. “For a few words.”

As one, the four boys cast the charm, wands swishing under the table, all aimed at Albus Dumbledore.

His tall wizards hat folded in on itself until it was a simple headband over his long loose hair. An oversized denim jacket now adorned his arms and, by Merlin, even Remus was stunned by the crop top James had given him – eliciting many a gasp and giggle from the students. Where his long robes had been, now there were a pair of embroidered bell bottom jeans and the entire ensemble were topped off with a pair of sandals Remus was quite impressed with.

The entire hall fell into utter silence as Ms McGonagall stood up in outrage but Dumbledore simply looked down at his new outfit demurely.

“It’s always good to keep up with the latest trends.” He said without missing a beat, throwing a wink at the Marauders and sending the great hall into utter chaos. The four boys burst into laughter with them, filled with a mischievous delight as rumours already were sparking.

“Did you see his tattoo?” Remus heard one Ravenclaw ask and he actually nearly choked on his pumpkin juice.

McGonagall however was not quite as amused as her colleague. She appeared at the Gryffindor table in moments, looming over the Marauders.

“Hello Minnie darling.” Sirius said, donning his ‘innocent’ look.

“Detention, all of you.” She said, her face the picture of disapproval, but Remus was certain that he caught the hint of a smile on her face as she turned away.

The four boys exchanged looks before bursting into laughter once more.

“Totally worth it.”

[chaoskirin]

Prehistoric Planet--Review

God I love me some dinosaurs, and Prehistoric Planet didn’t disappoint. F*ck me if I’m giving Apple any money, though, so I got their free trial so I could watch it. That last statement has nothing to do with my review. Apple can just kiss my ass.

Anyway.

I’m not really a paleontologist, but I read most of the more interesting papers that come out about paleobiology, especially those about dinosaurs and sometimes plants. (Although I’m no Ellie Sattler, so the plants don’t interest me as much.) The point is, I’m pretty well-versed when it comes to dinosaur anatomy, agreed-upon appearance, and biology. So I can say for certain that the models are absolutely some of the most accurate ever portrayed in dinosaur media.

And where our current knowledge base failed, decent theoretical portrayal filled in the holes. We don’t know if other ceratopsians besides psittacosaurus had quills, but it’s a decent leap. Quills take a lot of evolutionary energy to create, which means they have a purpose, which means evolution isn’t going to drop them after a single species. It’s nice to see these details in the show.

I’m also so, so happy that none of the dinosaurs were shrink-wrapped, and actually looked like real animals. I like that the tyrannosaur adults had down-like feathers. I love the speculation when it came to sauropods and the fact that large bull animals definitely want to fight for mates. And I loved the pterasaur sex/gender breakdown based on modern sandpipers called ruffs, which have four different genders.

And while I love that the concentration was more on the everyday life of these dinosaurs--I don’t necessarily need to see scenes of predation for every carnivore depicted--it confused me that the show felt the need to constantly kill babies. It’s not necessarily an unrealistic thing. I passively study falcons in my spare time, and only about 1/3 of the babies make it to a year old, but if predation isn’t being depicted, why then kill so many babies?

And to be fair, two of the babies that were supposed to be dead actually made it out in the end, but this directorial choice was a little... odd? It’s not as if depictions of blood were banned. I can only imagine that it’s a fact of life that’s very rarely portrayed. Even so. Weird.

I would have also liked to see more speculative writing on the care and raising of chicks. Because it’s been proven that dinosaurs like maiasaura and oviraptor were fierce and protective parents (the latter even remaining on her nest of eggs as a possible volcanic eruption killed her and all her offspring) it would have been nice to see more of that. While the male T-rex in the first episode had his chicks in tow, there was no real interaction seen between them, and that continued with many other portrayals of offspring. It was odd to me that most pterosaurs were depicted as abandoning their young.

Concerning other speculative biology, it’s fair, and I’m glad the writers weren’t afraid to guess. It’s likely that many dinosaur species had adaptations and behavioral patterns that we can’t even guess at, because those things aren’t preserved in rock. But dreadnoughtus using air sacs for display and giving a really clever use to carnotaurus’ tiny arms was pretty reasonable. Usually speculation is only limited to the biology we absolutely know for sure. IE: tyrannosaurus had sharp teeth, so it ate meat. So it’s cool to see the writers using current-era adaptations to hypothesize what dinosaurs might have done or looked like.

I highly recommend grabbing a free week of AppleTV+ so you can watch the show. The depictions of dinosaurs are accurate and the speculative biology is fair.

Four stars. Only took one star off for the baby murder.