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An alternate take on Cal's story following The Fallen Order. Merrin never left, their bound became one of pure love and devotion and they cruise the galaxy together, fighting against the Empire. It's this path that leads Cal to a discovery of who he is in the end.

I've been writing this story for a year. Come read the ending of it! The final chapter will be published this weekend.

This story is my alternate take on what becomes of Cal. It's been itching my brain ever since I finished the first game. Together with a few other short stories on my profile - that fill in how Cal's and Merrin's love came to be - it is finished. The actual sequel Jedi: Survivor is amazing and I recommend you play and enjoy it. :) I can't wait to see what becomes of Cal in canon.

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CAMERON MONAGHAN, with the poncho representation we deserve  Star Wars Celebration 2023 (April 9, 2023)

+ bonus:

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Star Wars Jedi: Battle Scars spoiler review

Let me start off by saying I love the game and finished it only recently, with the characters still fresh in my mind. I was excited about the book. I ate it up. 

Do I love the book? No. But I don’t hate it either and I don’t think it is terrible.

The characterization in this book is good, great, even. It lets you live in the character’s heads and see the world through their eyes. Their internal dialogue is fitting, especially Cal’s in my opinion. He is headstrong, stubborn even, devoted to a point of recklesness. His world has a bit of humour in it, too, and I though it wasn’t misplaced. He’s had this little spunky side of him in the game, too. Love it. 

There are some great points of conflict in this book. The fact that the Mantis crew is not as united in spirit as some of its member may think, something I suppose will tie into the second game where we don’t see the group together. There are wonderful moments of debate and fears and how each character deals with it. I liked it. Greez has an important moment and is not overshadowed, he’s given a proper voice as he should. Not just being shelved at the pilot seat all the time. Cere is being pivoted towards her position in the next game (trailer) and her behaviour is belieavable. I liked that Cal is still unfinished in a sense, he sees himself as a weapon, as a brute force that he wants to have a purpose, and he’s decided it’s to defeat the empire. He goes far enough that sometimes you wonder if he is still a Jedi or just a vigilante with a lightsaber. I like that. And I think the book gave him enough foundation to build into this idea - this unfinished, unpolished Jedi who’s left to his own devices to decide what being a Jedi even is or means.

Saying that, I am not a fan of making Cere his new Master - his new mentor. She even calls him a Padawan in one scene. Have we forgotten that Cere herself knighted Cal a Jedi knight? He’s grown past this trauma and became a man, that was the entire point of the first game I thought? And his behaviour seemed to reflect this, he was confident and took on this “leader” role in a lot of instances, clear signs of growth. I wanted to see a lot more about his knighthood, maybe see it brought up in moments when he doubted himself. Also, why does his ass have to be saved all the time? He’s very capable. He’s much stronger than at the beginning of his story. I wish he had more agency in his own book.

And this brings me to a point I wanted to make: this really isn’t much of a Cal’s story. He is in it, but the main focus is on Merrin. This isn’t wrong on its own, she is a very interesting character and I desperately wanted to know more about her. Do I feel like her characterization is good? Yes. I do. I don’t mind her being this easy-to-crush passionate person. I don’t mind her loving easily and I understand her trauma tied to Dathomir. But... she can’t talk about it with Cal? Really? Saying she felt connection to Fret because she let her be angry felt a bit too convoluted and just... stupid. Cal who is known and even described as this amicable, sweet, compassionate guy was not someone Merrin could confide in? I understand the point that the Jedi want to feel peace, and him and Cere have moved on, and I’m glad that this is not retconned by the novel, but Cal absolutely felt fear and fury and was angry. He would understand. He would help, not just worry for Merrin in the background. Am I a bit mad that he was not the one Merrin felt connected to so strongly? Yes. They even mention that they have a connection but just don’t ever expand on it.

I am getting a bit side tracked. New characters: Fret. Her girlfriend. I don’t mind them and I think they served the story just fine. There were not very interesting to me personally, I couldn’t really connect with them. But I think that is my fault, because my headcannon of Merrin and Cal being together kept knocking on my skull whenever Fret was there. I won’t like a character just because Merrin sleeps with her and Cal can’t help but “like her”. Why? Why should I like her? You gave me nothing but a conflicted romantic interest that you tried to hide behind cheesy descriptions of her body. Calling her “beautiful” and “hot” won’t change my mind: I wanted to throw her out of the airlock.

The romance: it felt rushed. It felt too much like a fanfiction. It made me blush and I audibly said “Noooo, they didn’t.” a few times. Was it fun? For sure. Was it fitting to the story? No. I am not one to shy away from smut, I love a good romance story. But this is a Star Wars story. About family, about being lost and about finding your connection to the outside world and someone in it. The game set a standard, a higher standard than we are unfortunately used to by Disney, and it was this beautiful, deep story that you could relate to. These raunchy parts in the book made it feel... childish, cheapened. I can understand the connection between Fret and Merrin, even if I don’t agree with it, without hearing about their plush lips and reading description of Fret’s tight and ripped bod. Cal being a dumbass and mistaking Merrin’s hickey for a bruise from a fight? What? There is a place for these stories, and it’s on ao4, not in the official novelization. It is not wrong - it is just so, so out of place that it is jarring. I would much rather hear Merrin’s internal monologue and know more about her history - her world of Dathomir and her Magick. I liked that she was losing her “fire”. I liked that she found a way how to gain it back. But it could have been done more gracefully.

This is my main point with this book. It reads like a fanfiction. It is nice to read and easy, you rush through it like a lightning. But is that it? So many phrases and descriptions in this pulled me right out because I recognize them from smut oneshots.

+ I do have to say that I liked the battle scenes - the combat felt fluid and nice to follow.

I also kind of like the story, even when you know from the start that it has to be something without real consequence or payoff, because it is hard to fit something in between “official” stories without overshadowing what they’ve already got going on. It was good for what it was, I liked how the story tied together. There were some rough spots - Is nobody worried about the fact that someone can track the Mantis for weeks? An Imperial? The weird bird dude? Are we gonna talk about that?

Cal feeling these tinges of jealousy without giving them a name was nice. I like the idea of him being so fiercely protective, so lost in his idealogy that he hasn’t even thought about romantic love, but is slowly coming around to it. He’s getting curious. His and Merrin’s relationship is so sweet and supportive, and I do enjoy that this Merrin’s story still does not rule him out like a potential love interest, because I really do wish to see that happen. This clash of cultures and idealogies is such a rich field and I want desperately for something to grow there, tall and strong.

Maybe in the game. Maybe in the game. But not in a “make out in the fresher” kind of way, please. No more.

The book leaves us at a set up for the game while not really answering much about Merrin or anybody else. It is fun, it is definitely not terrible. But it just leaves me with higher hopes for the game.

Number rating seems very limited but if I had to, I’d give it 6/10.

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THEY LITERALLY HANG THEM UP TO DRY IN CRYING OH MY GOD

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Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

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ANDOR concept arts by Andrey Ryabovichev

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ANDOR 11. Daughter of Ferrix

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(via)

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i spent winter putting up all these platforms on my walls for my cat and my biggest investment was these glass bowls made for cats to squish themselves into and it is easily the best idea I've had

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Feeling kind of silly now…

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This is what I needed in my life.

PEDRO PASCAL & DIEGO LUNA at D23 Expo 2022 | September 10, 2022

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aight its time to clock out for a bit. im tired, this has me tired. im gonna draw some dragons getting their heads stuck in things. someone give me some ideas 

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Law & Order s01e12  

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Wonders why the air is so spicy? 

(Source)