#also my nervous breakdown song

[myheadphonesareneverloudenough]

can we.

can we please talk about the line delivery in Close Your Eyes To See by Circa Survive.

specifically the moment when all instrumentations quiet down and Anthony punches through your door to sing to you,

you’re still disappointing them.

can we please talk about that.

i have too many thoughts.

[eatspiderss]

Anotha Spot post because I'm actually here to spread Nelward propaganda go listen to Eat Your Dreams by Nelward or anything by Nelward (also this song fits him very well maybe I'll post my lyric breakdown)

[hypnagogics]

heh.. okay, so you asked for different.. rubs hands together villaniously as i materialize from the bottomless shadows..

sub!vampire!ellie biting/bloodsucking denial.. reminding her how much of a good girl she needs to be even when your wrist is practically just brushing past her lips to cradle her face.. or when the weakest bead of blood is pricked from your finger.. flaunting it.. teasing.. goddess bless throw in whatever else you see fit freakmaster

TEMPTATION WAITS

before you read! ▪︎ my masterlist ☆: co-president...this is absolutely divine...shoulda seen the way i dropped everything for this im literally #TWEAKING. new fav thing i've ever written methinks. title song. (vibes aren't there but the title was too good.) ps: if you spot any typos i wrote this with one hand. KIDDING...or am i? divider creds—cafekitsune. ◇: not outright smut, but still suggestive!! and nsfw is described. fluffy end bc i think she earned it, lore sprinkled in because why nawt it's interesting, finger sucking (e! receiving), this is maybe a lil ooc idrc, she's described as looking quite ill in her vampiric form + begs like her century long life depends on it fr, (but also has a bit of an attitude, it issss ellie after all), mean!r, talk of blood/previous bite wounds. ++ 3.3k wc. doesn't need to be that long but atp? take it or leave it LOLL. filing under "oneshots" bc it's way more than usual reqs hehe.

“Please, baby. Just one taste. I'll do anything.” Desperate, shaky pleas spilled from Ellie, her voice noticeably tired from the effort. She's been at this for what felt like forever now, and you were getting tired of ignoring her. Or rather, a little bored.

She was kneeling on the wooden floor by your bed, fisting the creased sheets, trying to capture your attention. The shimmering moonlight was dancing on her features as if it was a sparkle of fireflies, making her oddly colored eyes appear to glow, and highlighting her sickly appearance.

In her vampiric form, her skin was tinted a ghostly—even chalky—white, barely a smidgen of blush dancing on the apples of her cheeks. Her eyes shifted from their original grassy green to a peculiar duochrome blend of emerald and ruby. She really looked unwell, but you knew it was merely a product of circumstance, her gloomy fate.

Ellie donned somber dark circles around her eyes, her lips withered, pale, and thin as a piece of tissue paper. Just behind them though, rested two deadly weapons of her very own—sizeable, razor-sharp, gleaming ivory canines reflecting the scarce lighting as if they were made of mirrored glass.

For the first time tonight, you met her gaze, assuming an unbreakable poker face. Her keen sight could pick out the most subtle of twitches, so you learned to defeat that. The moment you met her line of sight she perked up, her eyes widening in glee, you had finally acknowledged her existence after so long.

Scooting forward you placed yourself right in front of her still kneeling form, sitting so she was in between your legs, but she wasn't allowed to touch you until you said so. What torture.

She began again, “Can I do something to make you change your mind? I'll do anything. Anything in the world. I'll make you feel re-really good, and then I won't ask again…ever even, if that's what you want. Just please let me…I'm so thirsty.” She was rambling a million miles a minute, slurring her words and cutting herself off with hiccups, stuttering like was having a nervous breakdown.

Her chest heaving up and down was visible to you despite the dim surroundings, and you could just make out her facial expression—a pained grimace, as if she was experiencing all of humanity's greatest suffering. When you didn't reply but stayed observing her blankly, she sighed and hung her head in shame, you almost felt bad. Almost.

You extend a hand, twirling a strand of her hair—previously silky and vibrant, now as lifeless and dull as charred hay—and you feel her relax under your touch. You continue raking your fingers through her locks, scratching her scalp with your nails, and you hear her exhale forcefully. She's likely overwhelmed by your scent—it's invigorating, fresh, and full of life.

“Have you been good?” You pipe up with a voice colder than ice, softly caressing the flesh of her tense cheek, and letting your fingertips travel to the underside of her chin. You gently tilt her head up, noticing the way her eyelids flutter to a close. She's soaking up the heat radiating off of you, making sure to feel the sensations of your skin brush against hers as much as she can, commit them to memory for when she's apart from you.

Her lips part, allowing for hushed, woeful whimpers to pour out, and she instinctively bites her bottom lip to quiet herself. Only she forgets about the powerful daggers in her mouth, and almost pierces right through her own skin.

Taking notice, you tut at her, warning clicks of your tongue bouncing off the room’s walls, contrasting the dead of night’s eerie silence. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You push the pad of your thumb down on the plush of her lip, angling her jaw side to side, examining those killer gnashers she's got.

“You could hurt yourself with these y'know, be careful.” Her eyelids flicker open, she's staring up at you with the biggest doe eyes she could muster, somehow all while maintaining such a strong glare you feel as if she's trying to challenge you.

“I'll decide if you can have some, as long as you're good, and you let me have some fun first. Alright?” You explain in a neutral tone, earning a cute “mhm” of confirmation from the undead being before you. “Good girl.”

You slowly slip your thumb into her mouth, avoiding her fangs at all costs, and you let her wrap her slippery tongue around your digit, watching how her cheeks hollow and her eyes roll ever so slightly while she sucks, moaning as she takes in your taste—nothing more than just skin.

You chuckle at her desperation, revel in the power dynamic you have created. “Mmm, you taste so good, so sweet.” She mumbles, swirling her tongue around your thumb, coating the entirety of it in her spit. You allow it for now, but soon enough, to no surprise, she slyly tries to shift to the side in preparation to slice you and get her treat.

You sharply retract your hands from her, removing your finger from her mouth with a pop, disappointed by her greed, her audacity. She turns to the side and pouts, huffing and rolling her eyes with more attitude than a moody teen. “What did I say?” You calmly hiss at her. She whispers, almost inaudibly, “Sorry…taste so good, can't help m’self.” Her voice wavered, and the moonlight illuminated the faintest tinge of red across her features, it was nearly invisible.

But you could tell exactly what was up. She shifts uncomfortably in her spot, grunting with laughable, pitiful attempts to rub her thighs together, fingers toying with the cloth of her pants, putting her frustration on full display. You looked at her struggle, unable to contain your grin.

It was a different kind of high, seeing such a feared and fabled beast kneel before you in such a pathetic manner, but it turned you on like nothing else. It was also evident she enjoyed it as well, no matter how much she didn't want you to be aware of the fact. The extent to which she worships you and handles your body, the way she was willing to beg and let you order her around showed just how much you meant to her—it was beautiful in its own way, how devoted she was to you. You were her person.

The fact she couldn't stifle her desire anymore after all this time suggested a shift in the atmosphere of your wicked games, the tension in the air was getting impossibly thicker, and you were loving every second of it.

Ellie, you've got a short memory.” You tease, then gesture to the gauze wrapped around your forearm, protecting two puncture wounds left by none other than her just the previous night. She looks at it and cocks an eyebrow, grouching, “Yeah, I see that, what about it?” The husky edge to her voice had returned, the defiant attitude you loved to crack was back in full force.

“Hundreds of years old, you even have memories of wars, and you can't remember what happened, like, 24 hours ago? Wow…” Your voice is so patronizing, it's unpleasant and abrasive on the ears, even your own. She shrugs her shoulders, still kneeling on the cold, hard ground at your mercy. “Well let's have a refresher then, shall we?” Tearing the tan-colored bandage apart with a single rip, you reveal the puncture marks—they were still wet and irritated, the wounds reopening immediately at the slightest movement.

Ellie whines like an animal, a crude “ahh”, and she starts pleading harder than ever. “Please, baby, my pretty, my angel, please, please, pleasepleaseplease, just lemme have a drop, just one. That's all, I swear.” Her gaze darkens exponentially, if you didn't know her it would instill fear in your heart, but luckily you were well aware of all her tricks. She snarls, “Fuck you. I'm literally on my fucking knees right now. Why are you doing this?” Her voice breaks angrily, wobbling with great lust and need—the need to have you, the need to drink you and fondle you and taste you in all senses of the word, and at this point she didn't seem to care about preserving a morsel of her dignity, she was simply so drunk on you, you couldn't believe.

You reiterate the previously established explanation, “We have an agreement that says you're allowed to take my blood once a month, so you can have some more each time. Rather than taking a little bit but more often, you requested this yourself. And you already drank lots yesterday. Does that not ring a bell?”

She groans, a gravelly, guttural sound that had you coming back to your senses and realizing, this was technically, a monster who you loved so dearly.

It led you to wonder—to her kind, what was so special about the liquid coursing through your veins?

When you split your lip open as a kid, clumsily tumbling face-first onto the asphalt, or bit your tongue while eating something stubborn, the strange, metallic taste was purely disgusting. It had a certain heaviness to it, both physically with the way it sat in your mouth, but also mentally. Like a subconscious awareness you were not meant to consume it like she does, but to spit it out the millisecond it made contact with your taste buds. There were times where the thought made you queasy, the measly knowledge of just how much of this fluid was inside you, keeping you alive.

But to her, it was a completely different story. She lapped it up with such fervor, such thirst you've never seen before. A sloppy frenzy like there wasn't a single thing more delightfully flavorful.

Her teeth penetrating all the way through your epidermis, dermis, and hypodermis, and straight through the vein wall was a feeling you're likely never going to get used to. It stung, it really did, and you were quick to get all woozy from the blood volume loss, but Ellie knew your limits—even though hers were not even close. Her thirst was insatiable.

The intimacy of the act was a whole separate topic to think about too. It was such an erotic experience, and when probed about it she argues it's better than sex, somehow. When she drinks from you, Ellie is really messy with it, you noticed. Blood dribbles down her chin and stains her lips as if it's a designer lip oil, the distinct deep maroon color sometimes appearing clownish and too intense against her fair complexion.

She was really handsy as well, and you weren't sure if it was purposeful, but you didn't care to ask because you didn't really mind in the first place. It felt nice. Her muscular hands tend to trace your waist as she's suckling, hovering by your ass, and traveling north to knead the supple tissue of your breasts.

And how could you forget about the sheer proximity of it all, even when having sex normally, it didn't feel nearly as intimate or vulnerable as this. Her body would be tightly curled around yours, she couldn't bear to have one meager square inch of her not touching you.

When she drank from your neck, it was bordering on heavenly, you had to be honest with yourself. There was something about the combination of the light headed, dizzying feeling it brought you, her closeness, the licking sensations, and the hungry sounds she produced that all together mixed to form nothing short of a mind blowing, intoxicating concoction.

When you both were feeling it, she'd be able to draw breathy moans to fall from your lips, and would giggle into your skin before sucking harder, leaving bruised marks surrounding the punctures. You read in some folklore that vampires carried a sort of aphrodisiac in their fangs, or was it their saliva? Again, you didn't really know all the details, but the sessions made you both yearn for each other in a way that felt taboo to discuss—midnight feedings often turning into animalistic fucking, sometimes even simultaneously.

Like having Ellie latched onto the side of your neck while she grinds her dripping pussy onto yours, her pleasureful mewls filling your ears, or having her hold your wrist to her mouth while her other hand is pleasuring you into oblivion, prodding against your spongy walls, making your head spin.

The time you spent lost in thought, she had broken the rule of not touching you unless you said so, but all she had done was rest her head on your knee, zoning out, sulking like an injured puppy. Unfortunately for her, you weren't done torturing her just yet. You didn't move her off of you, she was just laying there, grumbling curses under her breath, saying how mean you were, how much she despised you and everything you stood for, although both of you knew the truth—she had said herself, “I've never tasted blood like yours,” and you felt intrinsically bound to her on a subconscious level, these were mere amusements you indulged in, that ended up beneficial for both.

She got her delicious elixir of life, at the cost of you having your way with her for a bit. You hear her sniffle, the little defenseless sound of defeat was able to break your act.

You resume stroking her hair, and she wraps trembling arms around your thigh. “Hmm?” You coo, putting on a sweet facade. “Don't talk to me like that, c'mon man.” She wails, the attempts to regain control over her voice proving unsuccessful.

You took your nails to the newly formed raspberry scabs on top of your bite wounds and picked them off, and she lunges to grab your arm with inhuman reflexes, but once again you emerge on top, having spent so much time memorizing every last one of her behavioral patterns, so much so you knew exactly how she was going to attempt catching you and moved out the way without thinking about it.

“Too slow, you've gotten predictable.” You ridicule her, embellishing your voice with the most fake, sickly sweet tone you could just to irritate her as much as you possibly could. Ellie lays her head on your thigh, sighing. It's like she's given everything up. Her own patience was running out, potentially entering unpredictable territory now.

You squeeze the sides of the hole in your skin to coax a bubble of bright red blood to ooze out, marveling, “It's such a nice color, I see why you like it so much.” You talk to her coolly, ignoring her tearful, yet terrifyingly rage-filled glares, her massive fangs bared as if you were a prey animal she caught herself and was preparing to rip apart.

“Want a taste, Ellie? Have you earned it?” You think out loud, comically tapping your chin to exaggerate the brainstorming act. “Whatever, it's not like I have anything left to say to you.” She sounded heartbroken, you've never seen someone have such sorrow, the sheer misery behind her eyes actually caught you off guard.

"Okay I think you have earned it, just need you to say one more thing.” She nods, a little too quickly, rushing to catch any tears that were planning an escape route down the sides of her pretty face. You cradle her cheek, brushing your thumb against her skin, “Aw, baby, don't cry.” This time however, your tone is sincere.

She doesn't wait for your request, and starts all over again, this is getting old. “I promise everything. I'll make you feel so good, I'll give you whatever you want, please …you're too sweet.” She huffs, “Well, except when you're not.”

She continues mumbling, burying her face in the meat of your thigh, occasionally stopping to lovingly peck where she was laying, quiet smooching sounds. That really melted your heart, you were ready to give her what she needs after so much cruelty. This went on much longer than you had planned, but you were having fun with it. So you decided to abandon whatever you would ask of her. But could anyone blame you?

She slowly reaches for your wounded arm, gauging your reactions, like in the situation you were planning to do something to prevent her, but you come up with a better idea. “I'll do you one even better, Els.” The grin that envelops her face could light up a thousand suns, and melt the coldest of souls. Make vampire hunters quit their careers even, that's how adorable she could be, on the occasion.

You lean back to take your shirt off in one swift motion, and lay back on the edge of the bed, tilting your neck to give her access to the sweet pulsating spot, finding the droplet of drool that falls from her agape mouth utterly hilarious. “Go ahead, I've had my fun.” She hesitates. “But our agreement, I don't wanna hurt you.” “Ellie it's fine, unless you don't want t-” “No I do I do, oh thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you so muchhhh.”

Her gratitude is silly, she's straddling you and kissing all over your neck, face, and collarbones with such care, and you inhale sharply once you feel the familiar sensation of her teeth piercing your sensitive skin.

She has one hand on the nape of your neck, holding you close to her so you couldn't move away, and the other one finds your fingers to intertwine with hers, loud gulping noises filling the room as she messily laps up all that flows from you.

Her bony hips are sat atop your pelvis, and soon enough you feel her start absentmindedly rocking back and forth on you, your breath hitching. You hold her waist to ground yourself, and aid her. She's whispering, mostly to herself, “Fuck that's so fucking good, needed this so bad, need you, fuck- shit. Ah, yes.”

The vertiginous feeling swirls in your head and you feel yourself fading, your grip on her sides loosening, but you don't feel one single ounce of panic, because you know she's got you. No matter what, until the end of time. Or at the very least, until the final bells tolled and you were lowered to your eternal resting place six feet underground.

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[trippinsorrows]

with me + part four

authors note: the love and response to this story continues to absolutely floor me. you guys are all so sweet! i was nervous about posting, but everyone has made me feel so happy that i did, so thank you!

couple of hints about things sprinkled through this one. the more i write, the more things are getting fleshed out, so idk how many parts this will be atp, nothing too crazy though!!!

also, some tags don't seem to work for some reason, like when i type it, the hyperlink doesn't appear so super sorry to those impacted by that!!!

warnings: angst, fluff, language, suggestive content

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

word count: 5.8k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wonderingfashion @shayaaaaaaa @usoholic @brokenglassslippers @gators-aid @dersha89 @southerngirl41 @empressdede

You couldn't eat. 

Couldn't sleep.

Could barely think straight.

All that consumed you, ate at you, gnawed at your sanity was one thought and one thought alone.

He wanted to take her from you. 

Joe wanted to take your daughter from you, your four year old daughter who still couldn't even go to sleep at night unless she got to see or speak to you.

The daughter who he'd only known existed just recently but was seemingly set on ripping away from you.

That thought destroyed you, made you raw from blistering agony at just the idea of not having Callie with you full time. It destroyed you to the point that you decided to throw some clothes on, hop in your car, and set your google maps for the hotel you knew he’d be staying at. Damn the fact that it was the middle of the night or that you were stupid as hell for being in that situation in the first place. None of that mattered. 

You needed to talk to him, and you needed to talk to him now. 

Joe opens the door with a forceful swing, looking as irritated and disheveled as you’d expect one to look at nearly 1am in the morning. However, when his eyes land on you, confusion meshes with irritation. “Y/N?”

“Hi.” It’s said in a breathy tone. You're struggling to remember the script you rehearsed the whole drive there. “I’m sorry. I know it’s late—”

“What the..….” He sighs heavily and steps aside, motioning for you to come in. “Get in here.”

You don’t need to be told twice, looking around the hotel room that looks so plain and undeserving of someone with Joe’s stature. But, you also know this area isn’t exactly saturated with 5 star hotels, far from it. This is probably the most elite one he could find with such short notice, and it’s not bad at all, just….basic.

He clears his throat, and you return your attention to the man who you just realized is also shirtless. If not for the pending mental breakdown you’re fighting to keep at bay, it would be extremely distracting. Joe is a lot of things, and fine as hell is at the top of that list.

“What are you doing here, Y/N?” He sounds exhausted, and you can’t tell if it’s from the argument earlier that day or being woken up in the middle of the night. Probably both. 

“I just—I need to talk to you.”

“Now?” 

Nodding, you continue. “I know….I know I messed up, okay? I should have told you, but I just—I need you to look at it from my perspective. I need you to just hear me out, and if—if you still feel the same way, then–then I’ll have to deal with that….but please.” 

He’s leaning back against the dresser, arms crossed, taking time to answer as he weighs your offer. Finally, he concedes, “you came all the way over here. I’m not just gonna send you away.”

You’re thankful for him being willing to at least hear some of what you have to say. “Callie.....she was conceived the last time we were together.” Not sure if that part was necessary or the best way to start out, you quickly move on to the next point. “I didn’t find out I was pregnant until two months later. And on top of not knowing what the fuck to feel, I barely knew what to do. I was pregnant by a married man that I’d been sleeping with for three years. A married, famous man at that. Who I finally decided I needed to move on from.” 

Revisiting this is harder than you expected, harder than when you rehearsed it on your drive here. “I was scared, Joe, okay? I was scared, so I—I did what I thought was best at that time, and clearly it was wrong. I 100% own up to that, and you get to be angry with me, but you don’t get to let that anger influence your decision making, because it is.” 

This is the part you debated so deeply on whether to say or not say, to potentially poke the already irate bear. But, you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t speak up for yourself and your daughter. “You want a legal custody arrangement, and I understand why, but—Joe, your name isn’t even on her birth certificate, but to tell you the truth…..I wanted it to be. I did.” Whether he believes you or not is on him, but it’s true. Because while he wasn't present in her life, he was still her father. Nothing would change that. “They wouldn’t do it without you present and without a paternity test—”

“I could have been there,” he interrupts, sounding more hurt than anything. “I should have been there.” 

“You’re right, but you weren’t, and I’m sorry for that too. I’m not trying to make any excuses here, just lay out facts. And the fact is that you can get a paternity test, you can establish paternity, and you can try to secure joint custody, but we both know there’s no way you can take her on. You work nonstop, Joe, and she can’t be on the road like that. She’s four for fucks sake. Calista needs stability, and she has that with me. You know I’m right.”

And you can see that he sees you’re right, the wheels turning in his head as he takes in your sound predictions.

“And I know you don’t right now, and that’s okay, but I am asking you to please trust me enough to know that I will not get in the way of you getting to know Calista. Trust that I only want what’s best for her, I’ve only ever wanted what was best for her.”

“Why should I?” Despite his words, you can see and hear the crumbling of his defenses, of the brick and mortar wall he'd erected earlier during the first round of this conversation. “What’s different now?”

“Because she asked about you.” This is the part that crushes you the most, that makes you wonder if you’ll ever be able to forgive yourself for even putting her in that situation. “Because she thinks you’re not in her life because she’s not a good girl, and I will not have my child grow up thinking she wasn’t good enough for her father to want to be in her life.”

You won’t let her grow up like you.

Period.

Having this discussion, saying these things aloud, you’re slowly starting to recognize how some of your own unaddressed issues have contributed to this situation. How your refusal to confront buried trauma has bled into another generation. It’s…..uncomfortable, to say the least.

And something you definitely need to revisit, probably sooner rather than later. Just…not right now. 

You’ve got to sort this through first.

It’s after a few minutes of silence that he finally speaks, voice surprisingly calm. “You’re right.” You let out a deep breath, nearly falling back at his words. You knew he was wavering but not to the point where he would yield. “I know….I know our situation is complicated, and I’m sorry for being so cold with you. I just—fuck, I don’t know how to process all of this.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “Neither do I, but we can figure it out, because we can’t…..we can’t put her through a custody battle. I won’t do that.” Despite your very valid facts, you also recognize that while he probably wouldn’t win, he has access to the best legal team money can buy and would outlast you in court by miles. 

You won’t say it aloud, not even sure if you can, but you’d soon rather concede than put her through that. You’d give him whatever he asked for if it meant sparing her from that trauma. 

It’s a far cry from your stance hours earlier, but time and actually thinking things through made you realize the pain you’d experience at having Callie taken from you would be nothing compared to what that experience would do to her. You know custody disputes can be long and nasty, and though she was still young, you didn’t want to find out if they would question her. 

You’d sacrifice your soul and surrender. 

You loved her enough to let her go.

“You’re right.” He repeats himself, even and calm. It’s such a stark difference for both of you compared to the blowup from earlier. There’s actual communication occurring, talking with each other, instead of at each other. Listening to hear, not to react. “I—I couldn’t do that to you. I spoke out of anger. My schedule is crazy and she needs stability. You give her that.”

There’s an insurmountable amount of relief that washes over you at his words. It’s night and day from the angry—though rightfully—man that stood before you earlier today. And you couldn’t be more grateful. 

“Thank you.” There aren’t enough words to adequately express the depth of your gratitude. Joe is well within his right to be upset, and like you said, you’ll take whatever that is, so long as the both of you can agree that Callie being with you is for the best. For her, but for you too. You won’t deny that. Your daughter is your life, and the thought of being without her, even for a period of time makes you sick to your stomach. “I–” You wipe your eyes, completely unaware that you’d been crying at one point, the tears starting to dry up. “I’m taking off work tomorrow and keeping her home. You…you can come over once I pick her up from Mariah's."

His eyes light up with appreciation that matches your own for his willingness to look past his feelings to do what’s best for your child. “Yeah?”

You offer a small smile. “I’ll probably get her around 10 and text you when you can head over.”

He nods, and the excitement in his expression warms you. It’s so strange how you can go through so many emotions in such a short time regarding the man in front of you. He always has been able to evoke things out of you that no one else could.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

The way he takes you in, assessing you, it makes you shift your weight from one foot to another. Your hoodie suddenly feels too heavy, warmth climbing up to your cheeks. “I—” You gesture to the door with your thumb. “I should head out.” 

It’s when you turn to leave that he grabs your wrist to stop you. 

“Where are you going?”

Your brow lifts at his tone and words, confused by the quick change and his hand on your arm. “Umm, home?” 

“Like hell you are.” His dismissal is firm and final as he informs, “you'll crash here tonight.” Your face must be painted in defiance, because he explains, “it's almost 2 in the morning, and you look exhausted. I'm not letting you get on the road. Anything could happen.”

“Joe—”

He lifts his hand, silencing you as he points to the middle of the room. “You can take the bed. It's uncomfortable anyway.”

Ironically, a small yawn escapes, further proving his point. You are exhausted, in several different ways. The idea of driving back home right now is not nearly as appealing as sleeping off the day's events. “Okay.” Remembering his comment, you add, “you could have picked one of those fancy hotels ya'll stay in, you know.”

“I don't think there's anything ‘fancy’ within 30 miles of here.” He's not entirely wrong, the town's local steakhouse is considered the definition of fine dining and hotspot for special occasions. 

“There were once rumors of a Hilton being built.”

He looks almost hopeful. “When was that?”

You bite down on your lip. “When I was in middle school.” A small laugh escapes at his look of exasperation. 

“You should take the bed. It's gotta be more comfortable than the alternative.” Truly, because the idea of Joe's big ass trying to sleep on a damn fold out sofa is both hilarious and tragic. “I just need a shirt.”

He looks at you. “A shirt?”

“Yeah.”

“Because…..”

Rolling your eyes, you tug at your old college hoodie. “I can't sleep in this. It's uncomfortable as hell. I dress light at night. You know—” And you stop yourself, because he shouldn’t remember that you always sleep in either a big shirt or thin top and shorts, never more, oftentimes nothing at all when he was in town.

For obvious reasons.

You’re grateful when he turns away and digs through his bag, probably the only one he took with him. He always traveled lightly. He comes back, reaching you one of his black t-shirts. 

“Thanks.” Accepting the item, you walk over to the bathroom, closing the door behind you. Standing in the mirror, you take in your appearance. Joe was being nice by saying you look exhausted, cause you look like shit, every bit of the days events, loud and blaring. Blowing out a breath, you start removing your clothes but pause when you go to remove your bra.

Is that….is that too much? You haven’t slept in a bra in years. Not since puberty randomly hit you over the summer between freshman and sophomore year, where you went from a modest A cup to a whopping D. And post Callie body definitely wasn’t a D anymore. It just seems….it seems indecorous. 

Deciding to go with safe instead of sorry, you swallow your discomfort and keep your bra on. With the hair tie on your wrist, you do your best to pineapple your hair, knowing good and well it’ll be frizzfest when you wake up but not really caring. 

Another yawn leaves your mouth as you walk out the bathroom only to turn into a scowl as you find Joe sitting on the sofa on his phone.

If it wasn’t so late and you weren’t so tired, you’d argue with him why it’s stupid of you to take the bed. He’s at least a foot taller than you. But, you don’t have it in you so just mutter “stubborn asshole,” place your folded clothes on the dresser, and climb into the bed. 

You double check your alarm is still set for the right time and lean across the bed to place it on the nightstand. There’s a comfortable silence between the two of you for a couple of minutes, your eyes closing as you try to sleep, even if for a couple of hours before you have to get back on the road. 

“What is she like?”

Your eyes open at his question, unexpected but understood. You think about it, wondering how to answer, how to explain all of the wonderful things that is your child. Finally, you settle on an answer, soft and honest. 

“You'll find out for yourself tomorrow.” And turning on your side, you murmur, “goodnight, Joe.”

He doesn’t say anything after that.

But while you sleep with the hope of believing that this can be worked out between the two of you, Joe lies awake, taking his turn with mind running a mile a minute.

He knew this would be difficult, knew it was going to get ugly to some extent, but what he didn’t expect was how impacted he'd be by seeing you again.

There was a stark difference between seeing you in photos and seeing you in person. His anger at the situation helped him to not react as strongly, but not as much as he liked or needed it to.

Because regardless of all his outrage, he’d missed you.

Even with your deception, with your deceit and all of his confusing emotions toward you in this whole situation, he missed you. 

Joe might not be ready to admit it aloud, but he’s never gotten over you. And not for lack of trying. He’d had a period where he tried to fuck away his feelings, tried to busy himself in between the legs of other women, his favorite distraction when he was in his twenties. Tried to remind himself that it was never meant to turn into anything anyway, that it wasn’t a big deal. But his efforts were fruitless and a waste of time.

He cared about you, he cared about you, arguably, more than he’d ever cared about a woman. Even….even Jadah.

The night you ended things was still a sore spot for him, still something he plays over in his head trying to make sense of. On the surface level, it’s pretty plain and simple. You wanted more, he couldn’t give it to you, so you moved on. 1+1. He was legally married for fucks sake. He couldn’t blame you for wanting more, but there was also a part of him that wondered why you didn’t just ask him for more.

Then again, that went both ways. Why didn’t he ask you for more?

It’s easy to say it was because of Jadah, because of his marriage, and that was both true and untrue. On his part, anyway. Divorce was easy in name but far from it in every other area. And for him, meant being forced to confront demons he tried his best to keep at bay. Up until two months ago, at least

Joe closes his eyes. This is all too much. 

He came here ready to confront you, and he had, in fucked up way, even if partially deserved. He came here to meet his daughter, to begin to form a bond with her, and he will do that. He just has to push the complicated feelings for you to the side and place them on the backburner until he can sort through that mess.

Calista is his priority right now. Whatever this is between you and him can be figured out later.

Hopefully. 

________

“She can be shy until she gets to know you.”

The day seems to have escaped you, getting on the road early in the morning to drive back and prepare to pick up Callie. She’s thrilled to see you, and vice versa. The two of you spend the beginning of the morning together, stopping at a local diner to share a breakfast before heading back to your apartment. You spend a little more time together, one on one, before texting Joe to head over, staying true to your word. 

Especially since he informed you that he had to fly out tomorrow morning. You expected as such, knowing he’d probably already been gone longer than higher ups liked. He could only push the limits so much. 

You don’t even have to be looking at him to know he’s nervous, an understandable but strange thing. Weird almost. Joe’s a lot of things, but nervous has never been one of them. “But once she gets comfortable, she won’t shut up.” That makes him smile, and you’re grateful for that.  Sure enough, you find Callie in her playroom, which used to be your office space, but the more spoiled she became from your mom, the more you realized her room was too small for all of her stuff. “Hey, Callie Bear.”

Callie looks up, smile bright as she runs over to you. You lean down to meet her hug. She gives the best, loving hugs. “I’m making you something, mommy.”

You gasp. “You are? Well, I can’t wait to see it.”

“It’s a surprise, so no peeking!” She lifts her little finger, wagging it in your face. Laughing, you nod and push back some of her curls. Callie’s eyes then land on Joe’s massive frame standing near the doorway, silently observing. You can see the emotions so clearly on his face: surprise, shock, happiness.

Callie’s smile dims as she moves closer to you, holding you close, her stranger danger kicking in. A small part of you is grateful that even at almost five, she knows to be cautious. Then there’s the other part of you that’s saddened at the fact that the “stranger” she’s cautious of is her own father. “Baby, this is….this is….”

“I’m Joe,” he finishes for you, and you’re both grateful and annoyed. Conflicted because a small part of you wanted to be the one to tell her, but also grateful he ironically took that responsibility off of you. “I’m an old friend of your mom’s.”

Welp.

That’s not….that’s not what you expected him to say, not what you two discussed. It wasn’t explicitly stated, but you were under the impression that they would tell her the truth. His statement isn’t exactly a lie, you did once consider Joe to be a friend, much more than that, but still. Joe’s role in Callie’s life is significantly more than that. 

This seems to ebb away some of Callie’s caution as she asks, “really?” Her eyes fall on you, almost looking for approval. With a tight smile, you nod, giving her the relief she needs to loosen her hold on you. “Do you like Disney?” That causes you to genuinely laugh, something your sweet child definitely inherited from both you and your mom was a love of Disney. 

“I do,” he answers, and you pause. Does he really? Perhaps. Regardless, it’s a smart answer for your Disney loving child. “Do you?”

Callie nods happily, grabbing your arm and twisting it to show the ‘remember who you are’ tattoo on your wrist. “Mommy and grandma have Disney tattoos, and mommy’s gonna get a Moana one for me!”

“Really?” Joe, now crouched down to be at her eye level, sounds genuinely interested, and maybe he is. Callie is impressively charismatic at only four. She’s also his daughter who he’s wanting to develop a relationship with, so it’s not far-fetched that she could be talking to him about the rate at which grass grows, and he would entertain it like he was watching a 49ers game. “You like Moana?”

Is water wet? “She’s the bestest! Right, mommy?” 

You chuckle, fixing her shirt. “She watches it almost every day.” You always found it interesting, ironic even, that your daughter instantly gravitated to Moana, unaware that the voice of freaking Maui is her cousin, that she too had pacific islander ancestry. Through her dad. The dad you kept from her. 

“You know I don’t know if I’ve seen that one—”

Callie’s mouth drops open as she looks at you, “mommy, can we watch it? Please? Please? Pleeeeaaassseeee?”

“Okay, okay, okay,” you relent after pretending to think about it. You like to limit her screentime to two hours, and even though she already watched The Princess and the Frog earlier for the 97th time this month, there was no way you were not gonna allow this bonding opportunity. 

Squealing, Callie surprises you by breaking away and moving over to Joe, reaching for his hand. “Let’s go, Joe!” She pulls on the sleeve of his hoodie, probably to lead him into the living room where Disney Plus is signed in. 

Alone in her playroom, you run over what just happened. You thought you would tell her the truth, tell her that this is the father she was asking about, the one she thought didn’t want her when in actuality, he wanted to know everything there was to know about her.

And for a second, you get pissed off. Why wasn’t Joe honest with her? Isn’t this what he wanted? To be in her life. It’s confusing. He is confusing. But….you try to give him the benefit of the doubt, certain that he must have some reason behind his actions. You just hope they’re damn good reasons.

“Mommy!” You know that tone of hers, the tone that tells you a request is to follow. 

You shout back, “yes?”

“Joe likes popcorn too! Can we have some?”

You laugh and shake your head, shouting out an ‘okay’. Walking out of the room and into the living room, you find Callie near the TV, arm outstretched as she explains every detail of Moana, even the most obvious ones. But, Joe is sitting on the sofa, watching and listening intently. His smile is stapled. 

He looks…..he looks so happy.

Moving into the kitchen, you move around quietly to not interrupt and to get their popcorn made.

Waiting for the popcorn to finish, you hear Callie ‘whisper’ to Joe, “Mommy can’t cook, but she makes good snacks.”

Amid his laughter, you walk near the living room, hands on her hips. “I heard that, little ms. ma’am.”

“That’s what Grandma says,” Callie defends with a shrug of her little shoulders. “She says mommy is pretty and smart and funny, but she burns water.” She looks off, confused, as if it’s finally registering to her that that doesn’t make sense. “Mommy, how do you burn water?”

Joe is on the sofa, hand over his mouth, fighting for his life. You also can’t help but laugh at the absolutely serious look on her face. “Finish your movie.” 

The microwave dings, so you grab two bowls and fill them up equally. Delivering them to both, you place hers on the coffee table as she’s back to narrating. “Popcorn, as requested.”

“Thank you.” Her eyes go wide with excitement as she suddenly asks, “will you watch it with us?”

Damn. You had a feeling she would ask but was hoping she wouldn’t. Disappointing her twice in one weekend felt criminal. “Callie, I'm super behind with work.”

“Pleeeeasssseeee.” She starts with the begging again and then looks at Joe to inform him, “mommy’s a teacher. Do you have a job?”

Joe chuckles. “I do.”

“What do you do?” She asks in a sing-song tone. You give him that ‘I told you she never shuts up’ look. 

“I’m a professional wrestler.”

She’s clearly intrigued, asking, “are you actually good?”

“Callie!” This little girl and her lack of filter sometimes never ceases to amaze you. Your mom swears up and down it’s your payback from how blunt you were as a child. 

You’re starting to believe it.

Joe gives a shrug, clearly loving every bit of this. You can tell he wants her to keep the questions coming. He’ll answer em’ all if it means getting to spend time with her. “I’m alright.”

At that, you give him a look and crouch down to her level. “He’s very good.” You take the remote and quickly pause the TV, adding on, “matter of fact, he’s the universal undisputed champion.” Joe gives you a look, and you can tell he’s surprised by you knowing this piece of information.

You don’t watch wrestling as much as you used to, partially due to what happened between the two of you, mostly because you don’t have the time, but even non-wrestling people know about Roman Reigns and his current, historic title reign. You’re not sure if you’d feel entirely comfortable saying it to him, but you’re massively proud of Joe and all he’s accomplished. You always knew he could do it.

Her eyes widen with excitement and curiosity as she looks at Joe for clarification. “Really?”

“That is true.” 

Head tilted, she moves away from you and climbs on the sofa to sit next to him. Her little legs crossed over as she continues with the questions. “What does undis—undis—”

He helps her out, also angling his body more toward her. “Undisputed?” 

“Yeah! What does that mean?”

You can see he’s taking a minute to decide how to answer. “It means I don’t lose. Ever.”

“Whoooaaaa,” she breathes, obviously impressed. “You must eat a lot of veggies. I don’t like them, but mommy says they make you big and strong.”

“Your mom is right,” he agrees and looks her over. “You’re a very smart little girl. How old are you again? Like 15?”

“No, I’m four!” She giggles and lifts up four fingers. “But, I’ll be five on May 19th!”

His gaze softens. “Your birthday is in May?” She nods, happily. His smile is warm, emotional. “So is mine.”

You still for a moment. You hadn’t even thought about that, that her birthday was just days away from his. There’s something strangely sweet and moving about this fact, both to you and definitely to him.

“Really?” 

And that’s how it plays out for the rest of the day, a combination of Callie’s incessant questions, intermittent viewing of Moana and parts of Encanto. Lunch and dinner sprinkled somewhere in between. You’re even able to sneak off to do your lesson planning, Callie more than fine with just Joe to entertain her.

It warms your heart to see them connect almost instantaneously.

It’s why you wait as long as you can to interrupt, never wanting to do so, to invade their moment. But, you also know your daughter, know that she needs a certain amount of sleep to function the next day. And when you check in on them and catch her yawning, you know it’s unfortunately that time.

Sighing, you enter the living room with your arms crossed. “Callie Bear, it’s time to start getting ready for bed, mamas.”

“Nooo.” She whines. “I’m not tired.” Her groggy voice and scowl would indicate otherwise. 

“Of course, you’re not.” You bend down in front of her and reach for her hand. “Come on, we gotta tell Joe bye. He’s gotta get back to his hotel.” Despite her obvious objections, she climbs off the sofa and accepts your hand but not before looking at him. 

“Will you come over again tomorrow?” She asks with hopeful eyes and a voice of excitement, both things that make being honest with her that much harder.

He obviously doesn’t want to give her the truth, but it’s better than the alternative. With a frown, he answers, “I wish….but I’ve gotta get back to work tomorrow, Callie.”

Her smile drops, and sadness arises. “Why? Do you have to go?” Her quiet voice is comprised of disappointment and despondency. You can tell it hurts him. Her hope is dashed, replaced with sadness. “When will you come back?”

“As soon as he can.” You jump in to assist, hating the way he looks so devastated not having a specific date for her. Truth be told, you wouldn’t be surprised if he won’t be able to get away for another few weeks, if not more. “And you know what, you can use my iPad to Facetime him when he’s available anytime you want.”

Her eyes light up. “Really?” 

“Of course,” he assures. He reaches to push some hair out of her face. “I’ll call you whenever I can.”

She gives him a small smile. “You promise?” 

Joe swallows. “I promise, sweetheart.” 

Pleased and obviously ecstatic at this information, she surprises the both of you by tearing her hand from you to throw her little arms around him for an unexpected hug. You’re not sure why, but the sight makes your eyes water. His eyes close as he gently wraps his arms around her as well. You look away, almost uncomfortable interrupting this moment between the two of them.

When she pulls away, you swear you see disappointment reappear in his eyes. “Bye, Joe.” 

She returns to your side, and you gently direct her, “go put on your jammies and pick out a book. I’ll be right there in a few minutes, okay?” 

“Okay, mommy.” Without protest, she turns and heads back to her room. When it’s just the two of you, you turn to him, “she really likes you.” It feels silly saying such a thing. He’s her father. She should like him. She should love him.

But you also know better than anyone that being someone’s biological parent doesn’t automatically make them a parent. 

“That’s why you didn’t tell her, isn’t it? You want to gain her friendship first.” In watching and participating in the interaction between them, it dawned on you just why he didn’t tell her right away. Joe wanted to first establish a baseline with Callie, wanted her to get to know him just for him, to bond with him not because he was her dad, but because she wanted to. 

And clearly….clearly it worked. 

“She’s amazing,” he whispers. You see he’s still caught up in the emotion of it all, meeting his daughter for the first time, connecting with her as quickly and easily as he has.

“She is,” you agree, suddenly remembering why you’d dismissed Callie. “I–I uhh, I have something for you.” Standing back up—your knees were gonna hate you tomorrow—you pull the thumbdrive out of the back pocket of your jeans. He also stands with you. “I was that new mom who was intent on documenting every single thing my kid did, and I’m kinda glad I did now.” You reach and drop it in his open palm. “I got everything on video. Her first word, first time crawling, first time walking….all of it.” Suddenly uncomfortable with his silence, you add on, “I know it’s not the same as being there, but—”

“Thank you.” he interrupts in a quiet voice, immensely grateful to you at this moment. “Thank you, Y/N.” 

Emotion seems to be the keyword of the day, because yours are also all over the place, for a variety of reasons. It’s an experience that’s both overwhelming and confusing, but also….nice? You can’t necessarily describe it, but there’s something comforting about Joe having a role in Callie’s life.

But that doesn’t equate with your decision to not tell him about her in the first place, hence why you’re a hot ass, confused mess.

He’s making you feel things again, and you don’t like it. 

“I know getting back here won’t be easy, especially with the holidays rolling around. But, whenever you can come, you’re welcome. I mean it.” Thanksgiving is less than 3 weeks away. You’re highly doubtful he’ll be touching down before then. “Christmas is her favorite holiday. I know she’d love to have you here for that.”

“I’ll be back before Christmas and for Christmas.” You don’t know how, but you do know he’s convinced of it, and you don’t put it past him. He seems entirely determined. 

“Okay.” You walk him to the door, unsure why your bodies being so close to each other is an uncomfortable yet pleasing feeling. “Oh,” you suddenly remember something. “You need to make a Snapchat account.”

He scowls almost instantly. “A what?” A small laugh escapes you at his instant disgust. “I’m too old for that shit.”

“We both are, but it’s an easy way for me to share Callie and all her randomness with people. Make it and send me the username. I’ll add you.” It seems all it takes is for you to mention Callie, and he’s sold. He nods in agreement, all distaste washed away with the eagerness of receiving photos and videos of Callie on the regular. You keep your hand on the door, chewing on your lip, murmuring, “Goodnight, Joe.” 

He gives you a look, something unspoken in his eyes. “Goodnight, Y/N.” 

Closing the door behind you, you lock it and take a deep breath, unsure why your stomach is in knots. Not from anxiety or fear but happiness. 

You’re happy to have Joe back in your life, even with all of the bullshit that’s transpired in this single day. There’s something relieving about having him around, and you know it’s for Callie. It needs to be just for Callie, because what you can never do again is allow yourself to fall back into that situation. 

No matter how badly your heart and your head are clashing right now.

No matter how much you're starting to wonder if your heart ever really left that situation.

[wolfnight2012]

So is the fandom at large still characterizing "Open Arms" as the ~pacifism~ song or have we gotten past that?

Like, I don't know how keen Polites was for violence as a soldier in the Trojan war, since we meet him after the fact & lose him soon after.

But "Open Arms" doesn't tell us about his capacity for violence. It barely tells us about his thoughts on violence as an option.

The most we can infer from "Full Speed Ahead" and "Open Arms" is that Polites doesn't believe violence is the only option (or the one they should jump to first.)

But that's not even what "Open Arms" is about (not really)

"Open Arms" is about Polites noticing Odysseus' trauma & trying to help his friend heal.

The first lines of the song are:

"I can tell you're getting nervous, so do yourself a service"

Here "nervous" isn't being used to mean "scared" but rather "anxious" or "tense." I think Polites is calling out the fact that Odysseus is going 'fight or flight' mode despite everything being calm/no threat in sight.

He then tells Odysseus to have hope.

"Think of all that we have been through, we'll survive what we get in to"

He then starts to call out Odysseus a bit more explicitly (and notice how Odysseus does not contradict him. After his first [and unconvincing imo] "I"m fine, Polites" Odysseus doesn't speak again until the lotus-eaters show up)

(Btw, if you wanna read my breakdown of Polites & Odysseus' relationship [as explicitly depicted in EPIC], I wrote a post about it here)

"I know that you're tired of the war & bloodshed" <-We the audience also know this: "Will these actions haunt my days/is the price I pay endless pain?" (Plus killing Astyanax messed him up)

"Tell me, is this how we're supposed to live?" <- Must we remain in that kill/be killed mindset, always on alert, always warriors first, men second?

"Look at how you grip your sword, enough said" <- I think we can infer that Polites is either calling out the fact that Odysseus hasn't let go of his sword since they left the ship (aka always in 'warrior mode' aka "is this how we're supposed to live?") OR that Odysseus is white-knuckling his sword, (aka he is nervous/ anxious/stressed about a potential attack despite no visible threats)

Either way, in Polites' eyes, this mentality is detrimental to his friends' mental and/or emotional health.

Then we get to the point where I think the misunderstanding started & ended up overshadowing the rest of the song:

"You can show a person that you trust them, when you stop and lower your guard" <- I think we can take this literally (lower your sword until you actually have need of it) or figuratively (be ~emotionally~ vulnerable by asking for help.)

"This life is amazing, when you greet it with open arms" <- It doesn't have to be "endless pain" Life can be beautiful, but you have to stop closing yourself off/seeing everything as a threat first

Polites is arguing that the world is not always out to get you. Sometimes people are decent. Sometimes they are willing (or want) to help you.

It's a bit of "Try extending your hand in greeting before reaching for your sword" (Not everyone will be friendly, but you won't know if you are aggressive from the get-go.)

And a bit "Life is what you make of it" (if Ody treats every stranger like an enemy, then that is what they'll be.)

"We'll be fine if we're leading from the heart" I talk a bit about this in my response here. TLDR; Odysseus is lying to himself when he says he can "Lead from the heart & see what starts" in "Luck Runs Out" because that is not what he is doing,(and his reward is the windbag betrayal) MEANWHILE he does successfully "lead from the heart" while warding off Circe's advances & it's what saves his men/gains Circe's sympathy.

"No matter the place, we can light up the world, here's how to start" <- Again, life is what you make of it. You can make it a good one; not everything is an enemy/potential threat. Stop being a warrior first & go back to being a man

Of course, this doesnt immediately work, because Odysseus greets the world with his sword when the lotus-eaters show up

(Tbh, I find it hilarious that the lotus-eaters' FIRST word is "Welcome" and Odysseus responds to a Friendly Greeting by drawing his sword)

Like, Odysseus is genuinely seeing a threat here, he IS scared "nervous"

His first words to the lotus-eaters is a demand/warning for them to "stay back" (and both their cute voices [going off audio only] or their canonical fluffy designs tell us these are tiny things. They have no weapons, they haven't indicated any aggression, but Odysseus is so high-strung he sees something he might need to fight anyways)

THIS is what Polites has been refering to. THIS is why he's so concerned about his friend. That is not healthy and Odysseus is buckling under the weight of living in "survival" mode/always being "on"

"My friend, greet the world with open arms" <- this isnt Polites horrified Odysseus is responding with aggression/concerned for the innocent lotus-eaters, THIS is Polites (knowing Odysseus is tired of war & bloodshed) reminding his friend that he doesn't have to put himself through this. There IS another way. These creatures could be friendly, "Maybe they'll share some food, who knows?" Maybe, maybe not, but they won't know until they extend a hand first & ask.

And Odysseus does it by half measures *cough* just like all his actions after "Just a Man"*cough*

He lets the lotus-eaters know of their plight "We're only here for food" and threatens them in the next breath "600 men are waiting/stay back, I'm warning you/my men will turn this place into blazes"

He doesn't even ask for food/help, he simply lets the lotus-eaters know they're searching for food, then immediately piles on three additional threats to make sure they don't try anything.

Then of course the lotus-eaters offer food, but not food they can eat & Odysseus becomes dejected (which I think implies he was [sorta] listening to Polites, or at the very least, is so tired/stressed/wrung-out that he was secretly hoping it could be as easy as Polites claims.)

And Polites tries one more time.

"I'd like to show my friend that kindness is brave" <- I've seen so many people call Polites naive. That his optimism is too extreme/and not fit for the world (or at least the world of EPIC) but i would disagree with this common interpretation as well.

Why is kindness brave? If Polites believed greeting the world with open arms would help them find ONLY friendly strangers (instead of hostile ones or outright foes) then why would kindness be brave. Wouldn't it simply be? After all, what's brave about a sure thing? What's brave about having a get-out-of-danger-free card?

Kindness is brave because sometimes you WILL be met with hostile strangers/foes. But you extend your hand in peace first anyways. You don't know for certain if you will be met with friend or foe. But that does not mean you walk around, one hand on your sword, seeing enemies at every turn. You greet the world with open arms & give strangers the benefit of the doubt first, THEN use force if necessary.

I see Polites' philosophy as similar to Waymond's from EEAAO in that regard.

Polites, like Waymond, is choosing kindness. Is choosing to be optimistic. Not because he is naive to the ways of the world, but in spite of them. That is how Polites fights against darkness & despair. He is not naive.

When Polites tells the lotus eaters he'd "Like to show my friend that kindness is brave" he knows he's taking a risk. That's why it's brave. He is extending his trust to these creatures in the hopes they'll help/they have no ill intent, BUT being Well Aware he could be met with the latter.

Just because he's optimistic about the outcome doesn't mean he doesnt understand the risk. To refuse to dwell on the negative doesn't mean you're unaware of negative possibilities.

Then Polites reiterates his advice "This life is amazing, when you greet it with open arms" because it doesn't have to all be war & bloodshed & stress. You CAN find goodness in the world, and you'll feel much better if you don't assume everyone & everything is out to get you. And he lets Ody know he's aware of what he's going through/what's upsetting him.

"I seen in your face there is so much guilt inside your heart" <- I genuinely don't know if the crew know Odysseus dropped Astyanax, every time Odysseus references the infant, it's vaguely or as an aside. But even if Polites DOESN'T know Odysseus killed an infant, he still has 10 years of war to draw from (plus the wooden horse/killing sleeping Trojans bit.) Like, Polites is aware of what Odyssues has done, he knows what Odysseus is grappling with. This is not a simple/superficial/naive call for Odysseus to 'cheer up!' Polites knows of the darkness weighing on Odysseus' shoulders & he's telling Odysseus he's allowed to put it behind him.

"So why not replace it, and light up the world" <- He's allowed. It's over. It's behind them. Polites does not want his friend to torment himself forever. Whatever he did, he can move on. He can be a better man that what he was forced to become while at war/Troy (remember, Polites is well aware Odysseus is "tired of the war and bloodshed".)

And how can Odysseus begin to heal from his guit/trauma?

"Greet the world with open arms" <- stop seeing every stranger as a potential enemy/threat. Open yourself up to the possibility that good things happen sometimes. Sometimes, people are kind

"Greet the world with open arms" <- and Odysseus begins to tentatively open himself up to the concept & take Polites' words to heart

"You can relax, my friend" <- you're allowed

Sidenote: I told myself this post would ONLY be about Open Arms (and this ended up being SO Much longer than I anticipated) but I have a few more things to say, so I'll try to be brief.

Warrior of the Mind:

I'm convinced Athena pops in when she does because Odysseus is listening to Polites. He's been eaten by guilt since Astyanax & shyed away from violence in Full Speed Ahead. His nervousness is not very "warrior of the mind" of him. YET Athena doesn't come in to scold Odysseus at any of these points.

It's only when Odysseus sings Polites' chorus back to him, signaling he's opening himself up to the concept of open arms that Athena makes her entrance.

Polyphemus:

I'm not asserting this, but I think the argument can be made that Odysseus checks out the cave because of Polites. Like, either:

A.) He's giving Polites' advice a try here & now by trusting the lotus eaters/that they mean no ill-intent OR

B.) (less likely probaby??) His friendship/affection for Polites is the sort where he wants to please him. Polites is set on trusting the lotus/showing Odyssues "another way" & Odysseus will humor him because it's Polites asking

(Tho obviously the other explanation is that they are just THAT desperate for food & Odysseus doesn't think they have time to go searching for yet another island when this one (the lotus eater one) already turned out to be a bust

Underworld:

I feel like the general consensus for Polites' section of "Underworld" is that Polites died still seeing/believing in the good of the world OR that his dying wish was for Odysseus to chose nonviolence/pacifism???

(But as you can tell from *gestures at this entire post* I don't subscribe to the idea that "Open Arms" is about nonviolence. THEREFORE)

We know Polites last words/action in life was calling for Odysseus. And, imo, Polites' dying wish was for Odysseus to heal. If "Open Arms" is about Polites' calling out Odysseus' stress/trauma & trying to coax Ody to approach life differently so he can start to move on from the horrors of war.

Then that means, in death, Polites is stuck hoping Odysseus heals. Over & Over Polites sings for his friend to let go of his guilt & try to build a life worth living (not just one have to survive in)

And THAT imo is 1000x sadder than a call for pacifism. Because Polites' dying wish doesn't come true. Odysseus' mental/emotional health grows worse & worse. He pushes everyone away in the Ocean Saga, to the point that his crew of 10 years starts to doubt him! He already "can hardly sleep" in the Circe Saga. The Underworld Saga almost destroys him and it only gets worse from there!

In the Underworld Odysseus is confronted with Polites' love for him. His desire for him to get better. His hope for Odysseus to find peace/happiness.

Polites loved him soooo much, his Final Thoughts were concern for his friend. (Then Ody gets to hear from his mom, who loved him so much she died waiting for his return)

No wonder it breaks him.

[Anyways, if you wanna see my (much shorter) post over how the Wisdom Saga basically argues for/confirms Polites' philosophy Was RIGHT, you can find it here]

[proudahgase-exol]

Ateez reaction to!!

Him liking you but your are dating/crushing on another member

If you enjoy my work please like, reblog and comment. ❤️

Seonghwa: san

 

He tries to impress you all the time, always asking for your opinion on his outfit or hair. He always tries to include you in group activities outside of “working hours.”

 

He was so excited for this weekend’s group meeting; he hasn’t seen you in so long. He thought you were busy with work or just wanted to hang out with your girlfriends, so he never gave much thought to it.

 

You guys were all at the restaurant. You sat next to San and Jongho, and he was across from you. The night was going smoothly, but Seonghwa did notice the way San and you were talking to each other.

 

He again thought you and San were having a regular conversation, so he didn’t pay much attention.

 

That was until San asked for everyone’s attention and noticed something was up. He saw the way you were nervous and hardly looking up, but he also saw the light blush on your cheeks.

 

As San was talking, he announced that you and him had been dating for four months now. When Seonghwa heard the news, his heart dropped and broke at the same time.

 

He was planning to confess to you this night; he was so heartbroken that he excused himself and went to the restroom, where he broke down crying.

 

He really thought you liked him, but he realized that you were overly sweet to not only him but to the rest of the boys. He failed to see that you were extra sweet to San, and that’s what hurt him the most.

 

The fact that he didn’t notice your feelings for San until now. After his breakdown in the bathroom, he put himself together and walked back to the group. You asked him if he was okay, so he replied that he was fine and that he just felt a little sick from the food.

 

As time passed, he tried to keep himself calm and try to move you. He was happy for your relationship with San; he knew San would treat you well and love you the way you deserved, and that made him happy somehow.

 

Hongjoong: Wooyoung

 

Honjoong was really sweet with you; he liked having you around the studio; he absolutely loved when you gave him your opinion on his work; he liked how honest you were, so he treasured your opinion a lot.

 

One Friday evening, you were in his studio again. He was working on something, and you were on the little couch he had. He had noticed how focused you were on your phone by the fact that you giggled.

 

He didn’t think much of it; he was thinking you were talking to your friend or something, so he didn’t give much attention.

 

Until he saw you blushing a bit too much, he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to know what was making you blush so much, so he called you over to him.

 

He asked if you liked what he added to the new song, and after a bit of talking about the song, he asked you what was making you blush.

 

At first, you didn’t say anything to embarrass him, but you told him what he thought of Wooyoung. At first, he was confused, but he told you how grate of a guy he was, how much he loved performing for the fans, and how much he liked to joke around with the guys.

 

He asked you why, to which you replied that you've been crushing on him for a few months now, and lately he’s been flirting with you. You didn’t want to jump to conclusions and wait to see if Wooyoung felt the same way or if he was just being friendly.

 

Hongjoong was shaken for a bit, and he was sad that you sadly didn’t return the same feelings he did for you.

 

He pretended that he was okay. He listened to you talking about Wooyoung and how handsome he was. He really hoped you couldn’t tell he was disappointed. He tried to give you advice, but eventually had to get himself out of this situation because it was hurting him.

 

 

Yunho: Seonghwa

 

You were their manager’s little sister, so he would sometimes see you around. Then, eventually, he befriended you.

 

Soon you started to spend a lot of time with Yunho. You spent so much time together that he ended up falling in love with you.

 

He wanted to confess multiple times but was scared of his manager’s reaction. He didn’t know if his manager would approve of him or not, so he decided to take his time and try to get on his good side.

 

One day the manager called him to talk, and he was nervous; he thought he had found out about his crush on you. But what their talk was about surprised him.

 

His manager asked him to keep an eye out for you and Seonghwa. At first, Yunho was confused, and the manager noticed that, so he told him that you and Seonghwa have been not so secretly dating for a while now, and he wanted to make sure Seonghwa was treating you right.

 

When Yunho heard that you were dating Seonghwa, he couldn’t believe it. He didn’t know how it happened, but after the manager explained that you never came to the KQ building to visit your brother but to see Seonghwa, Yunho released that you have been dating Seonghwa for a little over five months now.

 

He agreed to keep an eye out for you, and when he went back to hang out with you and the rest of the boys, he realized that, in fact, you were dating Seonghwa. He paid close attention to the way you would look at one another and how you blushed when he smiled at you.

 

At that moment, Yunhos heart broke. He was really looking forward to confessing to you, but now that he knew you were dating Seonghwa, he was glad he never confessed, or he would have been rejected.

 

He was really sad for a couple of months, but he tried to move on because he could see how happy Seonghwa made you, and that kind of made him happy even if it hurt him deep down.

 

 

Yeosang: Mingi

 

Yeosang and you were really close. You guys met in high school, and since then, you were inseparable.

 

When he asked you to meet his members, you were nervous, but after getting to know them, you got along pretty well.

 

Yeosang was happy that you became friends with his members, so after a while, your duo became a trio. It was Yeosang Mingi and you.

 

There wasn’t any time when you three weren’t together; you spent a lot of time with them. One day Mingi went out with Yunho, and it left you and Yeosang alone. He was excited because it’s been a long time since you hung out one on one.

 

He was being extra nice and even flirting, and you didn’t notice, so he asked what you thought of him. He was really hoping to hear that you liked him, but what you said shook him.

 

You have told him you saw him as a big brother, someone you could go to when you needed advice or to hear you out. He was like the brother you always wanted to have.

 

So he asked what you thought of Mingi, and that got you blushing like crazy, so you told him that you had a crush on him and that you liked Mingi’s personality and how sweet he was.

 

He was obviously hurt by that, but he didn’t show it, so he just smiled through the pain. You told him how you wanted to confess but didn’t know how he only said to just go for it.

 

It kind of hurt him to see how in love you were with someone else, so he just kept quiet and distanced himself from you and Mingi.

 

It was wired to you. You had asked him about it, but he just said that he was busy or that he would come up with a lie. He only did that to try to move on from you and to not get hurt more than he already was.

 

San: jongho

 

You were playing on your phone in San’s room, and he was on his computer next to you on his bed. You guys always liked to hang out a lot, and this was a regular day today since it was cold out. You guys wanted to stay indoors and chill.

 

You guys were having a good time doing your own thing until Sand closed his computer and started to ask you questions about your ideal type.

 

He was really hoping you would describe him, but he slowly realized that you were describing Jongho, and although it kind of hurt him, he asked if you liked Jongho.

 

And he was right. In fact, he learned that you had been dating him for two months now. He was surprised and heartbroken, but once he saw the smile on your face when you talked about how sweet and kind Jongho was to you, he couldn’t help but smile.

 

Yes, it did hurt him that you didn’t like him.

Back, but he was happy for you, and Joongho was glad that he made you happy, so he was happy.

 

He never told you or Jongho about his feelings for you because he didn’t want to ruin your relationship, so he just kept quiet, and after a few months, he slowly started to move on. He was happy for you two.

 

Mingi: Hongjoong

 

When he first met you, he knew he liked you. He was hooked by your beauty. He tried to get to know you better, and after a while, you guys became friends.

 

You were a member of the KQ new girl group, so you saw Mingi often. You were the third oldest member of your group, so you were the same age as Mingi.

 

You guys got along very well and hung out a lot, but he soon saw that you were more busy and that you were also canceling your hangouts more often.

 

So one day he went to confront you. He knew you would be in your studio working, so he made his way there, and when he got close, he saw the door to your studio cracked open. He quickly opened it to not disturb you, but before he could fully open it, he saw you making out with none other than his leader and Hyung Kim Hongjoong.

 

He was frozen in place; he couldn’t believe what he saw, and after a few seconds, he snapped out of it, closed the door to how it originally was, and walked away.

 

He ran out of the building crying. He didn’t know where he was going, but he needed to be far away from you two.

 

After a while, he reached a coffee shop, entered, ordered a hot chocolate, and sat down in a corner. He was still so upset, but not at you or Hongjoong.

 

He was upset that he didn’t see the way you looked at Hongjoong. He was upset that he wasn’t fast enough to confess or to make you fall for him.

 

 

 

Wooyoung: Yunho

 

Wooyoung loved spending time with you; he loved it when you visited him at the studio; he loved showing his dancing skills to you.

 

He has liked you since Seonghwa introduced you to the guys. You have been friends with Seonghwa since you were kids, so you guys were like siblings.

 

He thought you liked him back because of the way you treated him differently. He thought that the way you acted around him showed that you had feelings for him.

 

But he failed to see the way you acted towards Yunho; he didn’t see the way you blushed when Yunho collected you; he didn’t notice the way you hugged Yunho.

 

So when he was going to confess, he was really excited; he thought he read the signs right. So on his way to the dance practice, where he knew you were by yourself, he was thinking of a good way to confess to you, but before he entered the dance practice room, he heard you talking to Mingi.

 

He heard the way you asked Mingi for advice on how to confess to Yunho and if he was sure that Yunho liked you back.

 

When he heard that his heart dropped to his stomach, he felt his heart broken. He was so sure that you liked him, but now that he heard that you liked Yunho, he started to think back and realize that he missed the way you acted around Yunho.

 

So he stepped back and walked away to an empty room, where he broke down crying. He didn’t blame you, of course not; he was just upset at the fact that he missed the crush you had on his hyung.

 

After he calmed down, he went back to the dance practice and pretended that he didn’t hear you talk to Mingi. He acted like he was all good, and he hoped that you wouldn’t notice, but thankfully you didn’t because you were busy thinking of a way to confess to Yunho.

 

 

 

 

 

Jongho: Yeosang

 

Jongho was friends with Y/N for a few years; now they met in high school and became friends fast.

 

Since we were really close with her, he introduced her to his members, and they hit it off pretty well. They liked her and treated her like one of their own.

 

Now one thing that you didn’t know was that Jongho was involved with her; he has liked her since the day they met, but he was too shy to confess.

 

He didn’t tell anyone about his undying love for Y/N, not even the guys, because they would tease him to no end, so no one knew about his crush on Y/N.

 

On his own day, he invited you out to the mall since it had been a while since they had seen each other. He was having a good time until he saw Y/N on her phone.

 

He wasn’t trying to spy on her, but he looked over her shoulder and saw she was texting Yeosang when he relied on the reason as to why he hadn’t seen his friend in a while. It was because she was secretly dating Yeosang.

 

He went one-on-one  and realized that Yeosang had been asking him a lot of questions, like, What’s your favorite color or favorite song? and little things like that.

 

When he realized he was too late, the girl he had crushed on for a long time was taken by Yeosang. He wasn’t angry at him, nor was he angry at himself for taking so long to confess that now he had lost the girl he really liked.

 

When Y/N was down texting, he turned to look at Jongho and ask if he wanted to go get a snack. He pretended he didn’t see anything and acted normally, but after that day, he distanced himself to get his mind off of you and to move on, but once he had moved on, he would be back to normal, or so he hoped.

Sorry for the bad grammar. I try to make it gender neutral sorry if I failed at it I hope you enjoy it anyway :)

[fawnforgold]

| I Wanna Make My Murder Look Like A Suicide | 

Pairing: Diluc x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Dark content, Yandere, Yan!Diluc, Fem!Reader, Reader wears a dress, Diluc is your husband, Abuse, Manipulation, Reader is disabled, Reader uses a cane, Reader is referred to as Diluc’s ‘Wife’, Mentions of past forced feeding, Arranged Marriage, It is implied that reader’s family was abusive, Scratching (Reader), Diluc is very cruel in this, Kaeya appears towards the end, Dissociation, Reader has a mental breakdown, Stockholm Syndrome (? I’m unsure about this one ?), 4.6k Words. 

A/n: Reupload because I deleted this foasijfasodi but yeah idk I really just think yandere!Diluc is neat. Also, the title are lyrics from the song Cotard’s Solution by Will Wood and The Tapeworms.

Summary: When your family arranges a marriage with the wealthy owner of Dawn Winery, you jump at the first chance you can to escape your cruel family, but what new hell awaits you on the other side?

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked in a cold tone. 

It threw you off for a moment but only briefly, because if there’s one thing you could promise yourself it’s that your husband, Diluc, would never harm you. But somehow you couldn’t help but clutch onto the fabric of your dress, the same one he gave you on your first wedding anniversary, hands shaking for some unknown reason.

“I was just going for a walk. Would you like to j-” He cut you off mid sentence, snapping at you in response.

“No, I don’t want to go anywhere and neither should you. It’s”— He checked his pocket watch before quickly tucking it back into his pocket— “Three in the morning and both of us should be heading to bed.” 

“But-” Before you could get another word in he’d grabbed your wrist and pulled you forward.

That was your cue that it was indeed time to end the night, in bed… with your husband. Your beloved husband who would never steer you astray. So, then why did you have this feeling in the pit of your stomach that something was terribly and unmistakably wrong? 

Soon the sun rose and pierced through the window of your bedroom, waking you up with its warm rays and urging you to get ready for the day. You didn’t have anywhere to go or anything to do exactly—to be fair you never did—but that never stopped you from looking your very best. So, you quickly put on a decent looking outfit, brushed your hair, and grabbed your cane. And just as you were about to descend down the stairs you saw the flower embroidered basket out of the corner of your eye. It always tempted you, or maybe taunted is the more appropriate word, and you decided against fighting your desires and instead hooked it over your free arm. 

You checked both ways before tip-toeing downstairs, hoping your walk was closer than it was last night. Closer and closer you came to the front door, you knew it was silly but you really wanted to take a walk and you couldn’t understand your husband’s rejections towards it. Your hand was on the bronze knob and you were just about to turn it when a hand placed itself on your shoulder. You jumped and looked to see who it was and to your surprise and relief, it was Adelinde. It made getting caught a little less scary and a lot more tedious, because you knew there was nothing you could do to keep her watchful eyes off of you. 

She smiled fondly, too fondly, and finally spoke. “You’re supposed to be resting. Come on, let’s get you some breakfast. Master Diluc is expecting you.” She led you into the dining area.

Pulling back an open seat, Adelinde helped you into your seat, pushing your chair closer to the table while the both of you waited for Diluc to arrive. And once he did she did the same for him and walked outside as he dismissed her. Not once did she look back and it made you nervous for reasons you weren’t sure of. The both of you waited in thick silence for the food to arrive, and once it had he took a few bites before he ordered everyone in the house to give you two some privacy.

It was that moment, that moment right then and there that made you question just what exactly your husband would say or do. Maybe an answer to last night’s little event, or something truly dreadful instead. It was the very minute you happened to look at him that he set down his utensils and spoke at last.

“Are you unhappy?” he said casually, as if he hadn’t just questioned the very existence of you in his life. 

You were stunned, but not too much that you couldn’t speak. 

“Of course I am! What kind of question is that?” you replied defensively. 

Your heart began to pound harshly against your chest, and you could feel the sudden drop of your stomach. Clenching the fork in your right hand you tried grounding yourself, controlling your emotions, but the feeling was so strong you started to cry. 

Diluc reached over and gingerly wiped away the stray tear on your cheek. “Please, don’t cry.” You were silent aside from the hurtful whimpers you let out. “I’m not mad.” 

Diluc slowly made his way out of his chair and knelt beside yours in an effort to comfort you, but that did quite the opposite. He gently held onto your left hand and looked at you with softened eyes, except for the fact that they were grey and empty. You tried to stop crying but your tears became uncontrollable, and soon you were sobbing into the crook of your right arm’s elbow. It felt like your world was caving, as if your heart stopped and the air was stripped straight from your lungs. The worst part was how you had no clue what was the real problem, that was until you said that loathsome phrase you always did end up blurting out.

“Are.. Are you leaving me?” you asked timidly.

The fear in your voice was evident but you couldn’t find the strength or courage to pretend otherwise. Sometimes when you blurted it out you hoped he wouldn’t answer, just so that there was no choice for rejection. It was better that way you told yourself, even though he had never rejected you. To be frank, if he hadn’t put that worry in your head in the first place, then you wouldn't have reacted this way. But if there’s one thing you learned from this marriage it was that Diluc would show you only what he wanted you to see. So, to the world he was an honest man, a doting husband, and above all, kind, but that was not the reality you lived. 

Diluc took both of your hands now and gave them a tight grip, looking you deep in your eyes. “I will never leave you. Okay, sweetheart?” 

His words felt less like a promise and more like a threat. You used to have so much more fight in you, but these days you barely had any left. So, you nodded and allowed him to give you a hug before the both of you finished up your breakfast. The remainder of the day was spent watching out the windows of your regal prison, dreaming of the day you could finally feel the sun on your face again. This was the pattern of your every day, from the moment the sun went up and till the very time it fell below the ground; wishing and praying that someday your fate would change. Perhaps that day was closer than you presumed, but you were doubtful. 

The pattern continued for weeks, you had constant flare ups and Diluc would consistently refuse to let you leave the house. Until, one day ,the pain had lessened enough to the point where you didn’t need your cane or wheelchair, and instead could truly stretch your legs for once. It was by no means a permanent thing but you wanted to celebrate this small relief, and with what you might ask? A nice walk through the outside breeze of course. Today was the day you were so sure that Diluc would let you outside, or at the very least walk with you. 

So, you found a comfortable outfit to wear, looked at your aid with a triumphant smile, and carefully descended down the stairs. You were proud to be able to have a day free of your mobility aid, it was liberating, but you knew once you saw Diluc at the bottom of the steps that something was wrong. Something was very wrong, indeed. Slowly you walked down the staircase and once you were face to face with your husband, you could see his face was that of a truly frustrated and fed up man. 

He knows, you thought to yourself. 

“You’re late,” he said in a cold tone as he pulled out a chair at the table for you, and helped you into your seat. 

You kept your sights on your food as much as you could, because you knew damn well that Diluc could sniff out your true feelings with ease. Making sure to hold eye contact with Diluc as much as you could stomach, you took deep breaths as you readied yourself to ask the question you’d been dying to ask. This all depended on how healthy you appeared, if he caught even a whiff of pain or weakness it was all over for you. 

“Sorry,” you said weakly. 

Already your heart was banging hard in your ear drums, causing chaos before the eruption had occurred. You both waited patiently, and you, silently, for the remainder of the food to be served to you. Once you had been served the usual meal you were given, you stared at it for a good moment while Master Diluc began digging in almost immediately. Maybe he was in a better mood today, you thought to yourself. Maybe, or maybe not. He soon noticed you hadn’t touched your food and ushered for you to eat. 

“Eat,” he demanded, a hint of urgency lingering in his voice, but the overall tone was still harsh. 

It was when your teary eyes were long focused on the meal with no urgency to touch it that he raised his brow in suspicion and watched you with an angered expression. It was one thing to try to run away from his hot and cold exterior, but it was another to avoid his good deeds entirely. He set down his utensils with a loud clank and looked straight forward at you, trying his best to contain his rage. 

“I said, eat.” He demanded through grit teeth. 

This was the side of him that many– no, everyone missed completely. Those close to him didn’t see how cruel and unforgiving he was behind closed doors. They didn’t know that if all your food was not eaten how Diluc would sit there to make sure you ate even just a little more than you could stomach, against your begging wishes, of course. No one, and I mean no one except those that resided in the home, knew about his harsh tendencies. And that meant that not a single soul knew just how horribly he treated his sweet angel of a wife, but maybe it was better that way. After all, if someone like you was stupid enough to stay then maybe you really did deserve all the torture he’d constantly put you through. And you’d think that after his hardened voice demanding you to eat that your fear would kick in and force you to shovel down your food, but you’d be wrong. 

“Is there something wrong with the food, my dear?” He asked through grit teeth, again. 

You shook your head and tears fell into your food. 

Diluc stood up from his seat and stared you down. “Then what is wrong?”

You said nothing. Instead, you continued to cry into your food as Diluc stared down at you like a troublesome child. You just couldn’t stop, no matter how hard Diluc told you to calm down, relax, or ease yourself, it was all to no avail. It only furthered your pathetic tears. Diluc wanted to know the truth, just for you to tell him why you refused to eat, but if you told him the truth he’d only become more angry and you weren't sure you could handle that at the moment. You weren’t sure you could handle this life a moment longer, but unfortunately you didn’t and never had a choice. It was tragic really, but that was life for you. 

It wasn’t that you hadn’t tried to leave him before, trust me, you tried, but it was all to no avail. You could hardly make it downstairs without some help, so what made you think you could escape all on your own unscathed. When your family arranged the marriage you blindly accepted, thinking escaping your heartless family must be a better life than if you were to stay, but boy were you wrong. Diluc was sweet at first, kind and gentle just as he is in the public eye, but it wasn’t till the honeymoon that you realized something was terribly wrong. And by time you realized your mistake it was far too late. 

“I-” You started to speak, but were quickly cut off by your choking tears. 

You tried your best to speak up, say something, anything, but each time you were silenced by gut wrenching cries. The one time you attempted to look up to address the situation you were met with cold, unfeeling eyes and averted your gaze with hiccuping sobs. 

“Ugh, will you just spit it out already?” Diluc groaned in frustration. 

That only furthered your sobs and worsened it. Your hands tangled into your hair and began to scratch at your scalp for relief, but you only ended up with a sore scalp and traces of blood underneath your fingernails. Your tears grew bigger, your cries louder, and all sense of rationale left your body. The atmosphere was foggy and unclear, like looking into a cloudy looking glass for reasoning and coming up with absolutely nothing in return. You swore you heard a voice through the thickness of it all, but even as you were dragged from your seat in the dining room and led back into the privacy of your own room, you held no grasp on reality. It must’ve been hours, maybe days, or so it felt like, before you started to come to. A strong grip held you close to something, something warm, and rocked you comfortingly as small shushes could be heard near your ears. 

It was only moments later that you began to recognize the world around you, and the familiar figure holding you close. Too close. It was none other than Master Diluc. Why he was holding you in such a tender and intimate position, you weren’t sure you knew, but you one thing was for sure, it felt extremely uncomfortable. You writhed in his holding, trying your damnedest to squirm out of his hold, but he was much stronger than you. A pins and needles sensation spread from your hips to the tip of your toes, and you could barely move from your position. Your hands were free aside  from the vice grip Diluc had on your arms, almost crushing them as he held you closely. You felt the need to cry all over again, but suppressed it as hard as you could. Thankfully, your attempts worked and this time you remained strong.

You tried to remain quiet and confident, but your confidence was shattered the moment you heard his sweet yet poisonous voice ring through your ears. “You’re awake.”

Unfortunately

“Y-Yes. What happened?” You asked, trying to put the pieces together. 

Diluc shifted into an upright position and prepared to tell you some of the truth. He couldn’t have you trying to run off, again. Unfortunately, what Master DIluc didn’t know was that your determination far outweighed any punishment he could potentially give to you. After he explained it to you in his own version, you nodded in agreement and expressed your exhaustion. You wanted to go to bed and forget all about this day., even though it felt like it had just begun. Sure, Diluc had his suspicions as to why you so suddenly wanted to sleep after such a conversation, but he brushed it off as his own paranoia. After all, he’d curated a life that he made damn sure you could never run away from. At least, not without some help. 

That night was spent with eyes vigilantly open, wide and observant as you rested your head on the pillow, keeping out for when Diluc would come to bed. If he caught you in bed awake right now he was sure to have a few words, but you’d simply lie and say the pain kept you awake, which wouldn’t exactly be far from the truth, but it wasn’t the truth. You watched out the only window you had in your room, gazing at the open sky full of stars and the full moon and wondered what was taking Diluc so long. What was taking him so long? He should’ve long been in bed by now. So, why was he still hard at work in his study? Regardless of the reasoning you calmed yourself down, trying your best to satiate your impatience, because if you weren’t careful it could very well be the thing that led to your downfall. 

It must’ve been about an hour or so later when you heard the heavy footsteps of your husband head up the stairs and then quietly trail into your shared room. You could vividly hear him discard his clothes and climb into what you guessed were more comfortable ones. He kissed you softly on the forehead, foolishly believing you were asleep, and climbed into bed with you. Feeling his hot breath against your neck sent shivers down your spine, you couldn’t remember the last time you slept without him breathing down your neck, literally. It was awful. Although you were thankful that tonight his vice grip wasn’t holding you in place —making it perfect for your little escape plan— there was still a heavy feeling of discomfort floating throughout the bedroom. 

You were patient, and all that patience of yours finally paid off when you heard the light to heavy snores of Diluc behind you. It was time, time to make your escape. It would be tricky getting out of the bed with him in it, but thankfully Diluc was a heavy sleeper. Slowly and very very carefully you removed the blankets from your body and started to slide down to the edge of the bed. Closer.. Closer.. Closer.. Until finally, your legs hung off the edge of the bed. Diluc shifted in his sleep and let out a loud snore which caused you to jump in your own skin, but looking back you saw he was still fast asleep. Letting out a silent sigh of relief you steadied yourself with both hands as you placed both of your wobbly feet to the ground. Now, the next part would prove one of the most difficult tasks, getting your cane. It currently sat in a cage with other canes and umbrellas you owned (not that you ever actually left the house) and could potentially make a lot of noise if you weren’t careful. 

Cautiously you tiptoed to the cage and took a slow, deep breath before reaching inside and slowly pulled it out. It was a wooden cane so if hit at just the right amount of speed it could make quite enough noise, not as much as it would if it were metal, but it would be just enough to awaken the young master. With extreme caution you began to pull it out, further and further, until it was almost fully out, but in an unfortunate turn of events your hand began to grow weak and numb and you dropped it. Thankfully, you were able to grab it with your other hand before it could wake up Diluc, but not before it banged against the cage in a painfully loud manner. You froze in place, not moving a single muscle until you heard the light snores of Diluc once again. Carefully pulling out the entire cane you then positioned it as you usually would for the day and used it to help you hold your weight upright, as you gradually turned the doorknob and opened the bedroom door. 

Peeking out the door you could so no one and nothing except for the moonlight illuminating the hallway. Now was as good a chance as any to make a run for it, and so you quickly tiptoed down the stairs with the help of your cane to steady you, eagerly walking towards the door the moment your feet touched the first floor. Your hand hovered above the knob as you stopped in shock. Was this it? Were you finally going to leave this miserable and pitiful life to live one full of joy and freedom? It is what you deserved after all, you thought. It’s what you had always wanted and needed. Without wasting a moment sooner you turned the knob and braced yourself for whatever waited for you outside those doors, and stepped outside for the first time in a long time. 

It must’ve been summertime because the heat was thick and the air was muggy. If you had been out on a daily or constant basis you were sure you would’ve hated it, but in that moment you loved nothing more than to feel the heat and thick, muggy air. You never realized how beautiful the Dawn Winery was from the outside until just now. Crystalflies flew through the air and around the grape vines. The moon was full and the stars shone brightly in the nighttime sky. It was beautiful, everything you’d always dreamt of and more. The flowers were even more beautiful than you had remembered and they smelt even better than you could’ve ever dreamt of. Everything was perfect, absolutely perfect. That is until you saw the mansion lit up with lights and realized that he and possibly everyone else was awake. 

You tried to make a run for it as best as you could but you were stopped by a hand on your wrist pulling you backwards and down onto the ground. You fell into a puddle of mudd, soaking your nightgown as you looked up in horror at the man that was supposed to be your husband. His face was cold and full of fury, you’d never seen him look like this before. This wasn’t like those other times when you tried to take walks, because this time you had actually tried to leave him. Leave him all alone with only his wounded pride and broken heart for comfort. He was seething with rage and all you could do in reply was cry, cry like a child that had been caught with their hands in a cookie jar. You didn’t know what exactly prompted you to cry so much, so hard, and so pathetically, but you continued to do so anyway. 

“Come inside, now.” Diluc demanded.

But now that you had a taste of the outside world after such a long time of being deprived of it you wanted more, so you shook your head and rejected his commands. This only further angered Diluc, because he then pulled you up by your forearms and dragged you back inside. You clawed at the door frame trying to stay outside, but he was much stronger than you. He threw you onto the floor and slammed the door shut, proceeding to lock it tightly with a key you’d never seen before. Immediately Diluc started cursing at you, a bright fire in his eyes that consumed his very being began to spread as you realized you had royally fucked up. You couldn’t even focus on a word he was saying because all you could imagine was whatever hell he was about to put you through.

One Week Later…

“Come on, let’s get you all nice and pretty.” Adelinde said, tightening your brand new dress that Diluc had bought you.

It was an apology, a present, but you knew the true nature of the young master, and nothing could fix this marriage, not even your own freedom. You stood there and looked in the mirror as Adelinde fixed your hair with a smile. You too would’ve smiled if it weren’t for the grim reality you faced. Especially on days where Diluc invited over his brother for dinner. Kaeya had no clue of anything that went on in the mansion, not a damn idea, but that didn’t mean he had no suspicions. Kaeya was smart like that, could catch onto things quickly especially being the cavalry captain, and this sort of thing was no different. 

After Adelinde had gotten you all nice and ready the two of you descended down the staircase where you ran into Diluc and his brother, Kaeya. Kaeya looked towards you and smiled, helping you down the rest of the way. Kaeya always was a helpful and kind man like that, constantly helping those in need. Sometimes, just sometimes, you wished he’d help you escape this place, but that was a childish dream. The two of you exchanged pleasantries as you all sat at the dining room table and awaited your food. Everything was going well until the events of a week ago started to come flooding in. You tried your best to hide it but with how brightly the sun started to shine through the windows you couldn’t help but miss the heat and the thick air you once touched. 

“Are you alright?” Kaeya asked, but you playfully brushed off your odd behavior with laughter and a joke, but he was not convinced.

No, Kaeya was not so easily swayed by the same type of joking behavior he too would use to cover his own emotions. So, he watched you the entire dinner all the way till the end. He noticed how flinched against his brother’s touch and noticed how your gaze always seemed to find itself lined up with the open windows. Something was wrong, something was not right about this and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. He would not let you suffer a moment longer, no matter how impossible the mission seemed. Kaeya wanted to tell you this, he wanted to reassure you that he was going to help you escape, but he could never find the right time with Diluc and Adelinde breathing down his neck as he was sure they did the same, and much worse to  you. 

It soon came time to say his goodbyes and as he did he locked eyes with you, saying things with them that he would never dare to say out loud in front of the young master. Even though it was just a dinner, and a revealing one at that, he planned to have many more dinners with Diluc in the future, warm up to you, get closer to you, and hopefully gain your trust enough to help you escape this awful, awful place. That is if he didn’t get killed in the process of it all… 

[amateur-flamingo]

I had various sketches in which I didn't really try to make designs

SO I once compared Voice of the Paranoid to Breakdown and couldn't get it out of my head

I'm going through all these concepts quite a bit in my head right now, but I generally like the idea that he can self-soothe in the same way. and I also want to draw this! like robots, in gestalt

I've been thinking about Breakdown's bio for the last couple of days, so I'm trying to help myself with sketches. again, I’m not focusing on designs, I’m just showing what is there and stuff like that

I was also thinking about how he generally copes with paranoia, OR how he doesn’t cope

(He is nervous)

then I thought that I was too focused on some difficult things, like problems with head, so I started trying to fix it

I started with emotions

they were still quite tense, so I diffused the situation! with this little face! (look at those tires, omg)

AND FINISHED WITH MARKIPLIER'S SONG!!! BECAUSE WHY NOT!!!

yuppie

[lieslab]

Love is a spider

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: og8 X gn reader

Genre: Comfort/hurt

Word Count: 9.5K

A/N: To the requester, I may have went a bit overboard by a bit. Can you blame me? Anyway, in these drabbles, you're a bit of a people pleaser and the guys kind of clock you for it. Some of them are softer than others. Hyunjin's is a little angsty because a little angst adds some spice.

I'm so sorry this is out a little later than planned. I have had literally one of the worst weeks of the entire year. I hope that never happens again. Never fear, life goes on and we keep trudging along. I hope everyone is slaying and finding their own versions of happiness. It's almost over now, but happy six years to the band!!

You can ignore the rest of this, but I'm going to ramble because people pleasing can really suck. I wish brains weren't wired that way because people pleasing is not the least bit swell when it's destroying you from the inside out. Some of you baddies out there need to hear that it's okay to put up boundaries and focus on your own happiness.

I wish someone would have screamed that in my face at some point when I was younger. It is okay and normal to put up boundaries. It is not okay for people to walk all over you, belittle you, and cause you mental or physical harm. You are allowed to take up space.

There is one quote that says "stop breaking yourself down into bite-sized pieces. Stay whole and let them choke." I love that quote. I used to be one of the biggest people pleasers around and it made me so miserable to the point where I quite literally had a full mental breakdown. We're only meant for so much until we break.

Practice makes perfect and the more you practice saying no, the better you get at it. The better you get, the easier it is to reinforce boundaries. The stronger the boundaries, the more strength you have, the easier it is to say no. It's so much easier said than done, but I swear, once you start it, it makes life so much easier.

Also the title of this drabble is inspired by the song 'Spider' by Kai Bosch. It's so good and actually one of my favorites at the moment. I keep looping it because that's how much I like it. Now that I've rambled, please enjoy <3

_ _ _

Chan:

Dating Chan had its pros and cons. On one hand, you never had a better relationship with anyone before. Since he was so used to being out in public and interacting with multiple different people, Chan wasn’t afraid of your romantic relationship. 

He knew what he wanted and he communicated everything perfectly. Every want, every need, every like, and every dislike, you knew them. On the other hand, you were still figuring out how relationships worked properly. The last romantic relationship you fell into, it left you scarred in more ways than one. 

That’s why it took you so long to finally agree to meeting the rest of Chan’s band. It was a huge step outside your comfort zone. The whole day, Chan had been gushing and practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

You weren’t just nervous, you were terrified. Your stomach churned uncomfortably with anxiety. You kept zoning out and internally freaking out. There were so many thoughts inside your head. 

What if they didn’t like you? What if you made an awful first impression? What if you screwed something up and made a fool out of yourself? What if they thought you were insufferable? On and on, the thoughts spiraled out of control. 

Before you knew it, Chan was driving you to his dorm. It was the place where he figured you’d be the most comfortable. Plus, the guys could scatter about and do their own things. All the attention didn’t have to be on you. 

It seemed to be going alright for the first few minutes. Chan introduced all the guys to you and a few minutes later, you needed to use the bathroom. Glancing around for Chan, he had moved out into the kitchen to help Lee Know and Felix with cooking. 

Left alone amongst the other guys, you sucked in a deep breath trying to contain your inner panic. A few feet away, Han picked up on your discomfort and asked if you were alright. Upon realizing that he knew your mood, you quickly apologized. 

He brushed it off and more time went by. Eventually, you were led to the bathroom. When you came out, you bumped straight into Seungmin. Apologies flew out of your mouth rather quickly. He laughed and brushed it off. 

You apologized multiple times throughout the night, even when apologies weren’t needed. Like the time you accidentally spilled your drink. When you sat in a seat that was apparently reserved for Jeongin. When you grabbed a paper towel for Chan and accidentally tore a rip across it. 

Chan knew you struggled with anxiety sometimes, but as the night went on, he started realizing just how much you were apologizing. Every time you did it, you looked terrified, almost like you’d be yelled at or lectured. It was to the point where it was getting concerning. 

Felix made brownies for dessert. While eating one of them, crumbs fell on your shirt. When Hyunjin pointed them out and began laughing, along with an added joke from Seungmin, you looked like you were about to cry. 

Beside you, Chan shot the two of them a warning glare to knock it off. They quickly changed the subject to taunting Jeongin for a terrible dance move he performed during practice. The attention went off of you and onto the three of them. 

While the guys were distracted, Chan grabbed your hand and tugged you into the safety of his room. It smelled like the cologne he always wore. Comfort flooded your system easily. 

“I’m really sorry,” you started after a few moments. 

Chan frowned, feeling confused, “for what?”

“For messing up this thing with the guys. I understand if you want to break up with me. Actually, I can just let myself out.” You reached an arm out and headed towards the door. 

Chan leaned forward and grabbed your wrist gently. “Baby, what are you talking about? You haven’t messed anything up.” 

“I’m a mess. I’ve ruined so many things tonight. I’m sorry, I-” A lump began to form in your throat. 

Chan gently pushed a finger towards your lips. “Why are you apologizing so much? You haven’t done anything wrong.” 

You moved your head away with a sniffle. “Yes, I have. I’ve done dumb things and made people uncomfortable. Apologizing is the right thing to do.” 

“Made people uncomfortable? You haven’t hurt anyone’s feelings.” 

“I took Jeongin’s chair for dinner.” 

“That’s not a big deal, baby. The guys never have assigned seats. They were just screwing around like they always do. Did something happen somewhere that made you feel like you always have to apologize?” 

“But it’s the right thing to do.” 

“Yeah, when the time is right. You don’t need to apologize over the small things, sweetheart.” 

“The last person I dated kind of made me feel really shitty a lot. They didn’t like a lot of the things that I did and they weren’t afraid to tell me.” 

“So…you apologized?” Chan guessed with a raised eyebrow. 

You nodded. 

“From now on, you’re not allowed to apologize for little things. Every time you apologize for something little during the rest of the night, I’m kissing you in front of the guys.” 

“We can’t do that! I’m sorry, but w-”  You were cut off with soft lips against your own for a few moments. When Chan pulled away, your cheeks were dark red. You swallowed and tried to regain your composure. 

“Aw, you’re so cute when you blush. I guess you’d better stop apologizing, I mean, unless you want the guys to see us kissing.” A teasing grin began to stretch across his face. 

Without even thinking about it, you reached up and playfully slapped his chest. Realizing what you did, panic flooded your face. “Fuck, I’m so sorry! I-” 

You were cut off once again by his lips against yours. 

_ _ _

Minho:

With a sigh, Minho kicked off his shoes and placed his car and house key onto the stand by the door. He jerked off his jacket and hung it up on a hanger. Trying to be as quiet as possible, he crept towards your shared bedroom door. 

His feet slid over the floor through the darkened house. His fingers grabbed the brass knob to the bedroom and he slowly opened it. The soft hum of the fan filled the air. The room was pitch dark. He pushed the door open further and stepped inside. 

“Minho?” Your voice called out. You popped up out of your bundle of blankets and turned on the bedside lamp. Both of you blinked at the sudden brightness. 

“You’re up?” He asked. “You’re seriously up, again? Baby, it’s really late and you have work early in the morning. I know you want to see me, but you need to get some sleep.” 

“I know, but I wanted to see you.” A frown filled your face. “I missed you so much and I just couldn’t wait.” 

He moved over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas. You watched his bare back as he ripped off his shirt and slid into a different one. Realizing you were staring after a few seconds, you averted your eyes. “So how was your day?” 

“It was alright,” he shrugged. 

“You’re not going to give me the specifics?” 

“Nope. Not now. We can talk about that in the morning. Right now, you need to get some sleep.” 

“But I-” 

“Nope. Have you seen yourself lately? You look like you’re sleep deprived.” 

“But I’m not!” You tried to argue back. 

“Is that why you keep taking naps on the weekends?” 

“Well…” You couldn’t fight back because he got you there. Staying up after midnight really was taking a toll considering that you had to be up at six in the morning. The days you stayed up later, you struggled through exhaustion. 

Lately, you spent your days nursing coffee and energy drinks, trying to bring back the momentum, but they could only do so much. Recently, it seemed like you were more irritable and Minho was right. Brown bags sat beneath your eyes, your energy was low, and your co-workers kept making sure you were alright. 

“I don’t want to make you unhappy,” you finally got out. “I really love you, you know? You usually look really excited when I’m still up. I like greeting you when you get home. I just want to make you happy.” 

Minho headed over towards the bed, pulled down the blankets, and slipped beside you. “You make me happy in a lot of ways and I love you too. Trust me, you won’t hurt my feelings if you’re sleeping when I get home. In fact, I want you to be sleeping.” 

“I love seeing you, but you look really cute when you’re asleep too. Imagine if you woke up in my arms. That sounds so exciting. Imagine you get enough sleep and you wake up to me holding you. The perks? You get enough sleep and I get to snuggle you.” 

“And you’re okay with that? Because I could continue to stay up and I-” 

He leaned up and lightly flicked your nose. “You need to get some sleep before your co-workers show up at our house. Yesterday, you said you were really freaking one guy out because you kept falling asleep while standing up.” 

You finally nodded in agreement. He tugged you towards his chest and plopped down on his pillow. “When we wake up, we’ll have the most amazing breakfast and I’ll tell you all about my day and you can tell me about your day.” 

“Promise?” You asked. 

He nodded and shut his eyes. You laid there soaking in his warmth until you shifted. You shut your eyes, but nothing happened. You shifted again and again until Minho opened his eyes again. “What are you doing?” 

“I can’t get comfortable and my brain won’t shut off.” 

“Probably because I came home an hour earlier tonight. Your body is used to going to bed around the time I come home later.” 

“I can’t help it!” You huffed clearly annoyed as your lips stuck out in a pout. “I feel like something is missing, but I don’t know what.” 

“Maybe if you wouldn’t have been a brat and stayed up until I got home,” he started. 

You stuck your tongue out at him and shifted again. Silence filled the room as the two of you tried to sleep. After a few more minutes, you jerked into a sitting up position. Beside you, Minho frowned with his eyes closed. “I think you’re right, something is missing.” 

You thought about it for a while before your eyes widened. You jerked off the blankets and scrambled to get out of the bed. Beside you, Minho finally sat up and watched you nearly faceplant as you left. “Where are you going?” 

“We forgot to get the cats!” 

“The cats?” His face twisted in confusion. “The ca- Holy shit! We forgot the cats!” He shoved off his own blankets and scrambled after you. 

Twenty minutes later, the two of you were sound asleep. Snuggled in different parts of the blankets were Soonie, Doongie, and Dori. The five of you fell asleep rather quickly comforted by the warmth of one another and the tranquility that transpired around the room.

_ _ _

Changbin:

During the first week that you dated Changbin, you bought him a shirt he mentioned he wanted to you in passing. When he unwrapped the soft pink wrapping paper and he unraveled the shirt, the happiness sparkling in his eyes locked in your brain. 

During the second week of your relationship, he mentioned he really liked a new drink that he found at the grocery store. When he joked that it was the only thing he wanted to drink from now on, you took that seriously. You bought him multiple packs of it to keep in his dorm refrigerator. 

When the second week wrapped into the third, you bought him a new pair of Airpods because he lost the last pair. You couldn’t stand his frown and how bummed he was about it. When you replaced the exact case that he had also lost, he nearly hugged you to death. 

He didn’t realize what you were doing at first. At first, he thought your actions were cute. He knew some people showed their love through giving gifts. Sure, he felt a little guilty about it, but you looked so happy when you handed them to him. You were practically a little ball of sunshine that he couldn’t resist. 

The last thing you got him, you took your time wrapping it, and you brought it straight into the JYP recording studio. You knew that he’d be there finishing up his recordings. As you were going in with your box, Chan and Han were coming out. 

“Oh,” Han’s eyes lit up, “what’s that?” 

“I bet it’s another gift,” Chan teased. 

“Wow, Changbin is so lucky.” 

“You really know how to spoil him rotten.” 

You laughed and responded. After talking for a few more moments, the two walked off to head back to their dorm. Apparently, Changbin was still inside finishing up the last few lyrics of a song. 

You knocked a few times before you pushed open the door. Changbin was in a black t-shirt with a face mask tucked beneath his chin. His eyes were narrowed down in a notebook and his pencil scribbled rapidly. “What did you forget this time?” 

“Uh…nothing?” 

“Oh!” His face lit up. “It’s you! Hi, baby! Give me a moment to finish writing these lyrics. How did you get inside? I didn’t think security would have let you in.” 

“Well, they probably wouldn’t have, but Felix was talking to the security guard when I came up. He told him to let me in because the two of us were dating. The security guard seemed hesitant, but Felix does what Felix does best.” 

“Melts the hearts of everyone around him with his angelic being?” 

“Yeah, something like that.” You laughed and placed the wrapped box down on the studio couch. Changbin continued scribbling for a bit and you stood patiently with your hands folded in front of you. 

“Alright, I’m finished!” He pushed his chair away from the wooden desk he was crouched over and glanced back towards you. “Should we go get dinn- oh, what’s that?” 

“It’s a present.” 

“That looks like an awfully big present. Should I be scared?” He raised an eyebrow as he studied the light green wrapping paper. There was a big silver bow on the top of it. 

“I think you’re really going to like it.” You picked it up and handed it to him. He was shocked by just how big it was. The thing easily fit across the length of his lap. 

He hesitated before he grabbed a piece of the folded paper along the side. A loud rip filled the air as he jerked it. At first, his face lit up as he revealed the internal packaging, but it didn’t take long before his face fell. 

You purchased him the lego set that he had been admiring in the window of your latest trip to the mall. The lego set was pretty big and it easily cost a couple hundred bucks. At first the gesture was sweet, but this was too much. 

“You don’t like it?” Your voice came out softly. 

“No, no, no! I-I do, but I…” He sighed and sucked in a deep breath. “Baby, why do you buy me so many gifts?” His eyes went up to meet yours. There was genuine curiosity on his face. 

“You don’t like the gifts?” 

“I do like the gifts, but I’m starting to think you’re spending way too much money on me. Why do you feel the need to buy me so many gifts? A lot of what you’ve been buying costs quite a bit of money. I don’t want you to waste your hard earned money on me.” 

“I’m not wasting my money on you.” You suddenly felt like the size of a grape. All that happiness and joy in your heart, all that excitement slipped out of your heart like a deflated balloon. “I just wanna make you happy.” 

“Honey, you make me feel like the luckiest man in the world, even without these big gifts. I like that you want to make me feel happy, but this,”  he tapped the box of legos, “this is too much. I feel bad for receiving this. This costed so much of your money.” 

You couldn’t help it, tears filled your eyes. He instantly frowned and shifted. You frantically blinked trying to keep them from falling, but they dripped onto your cheeks. You wiped them away as Changbin placed the legos onto the floor. He leaned over and pulled you close to him. 

“Hey, hey, hey, please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. That’s the last thing I ever wanted to do. I don’t want you to spend all this money on me. I want you to spend all this money on you. I want you to be selfish for yourself.” 

He wiped more fallen tears and tugged you onto his lap. You sniffled and allowed him to. “Why do you feel like you need to buy me such large items?” 

“I-I don’t know. I guess I just feel like I’m not good enough. Maybe if I buy you things you really like, maybe you’ll stick around. Maybe I can buy your love and I-” 

“Woah, woah, woah. Buy my love?” He gently cupped your cheeks between his hands. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to buy my love. Not at all! I’m with you because I love you. I wouldn’t be with someone if I didn’t like them.” 

“I’m afraid you’ll leave,” you whispered. 

His heart broke even more and he shook his head. “If I was ever thinking about leaving you, I’d bring it up to you. I wouldn’t keep you in the dark about anything like that. Relationships are very serious things and I’d never shut you out or try to hurt your feelings on purpose. Never.” 

“So no more gifts?” You asked. 

“Well, I won’t say that. You seem like you really like giving gifts, right?” 

You nodded your head. He wiped his thumbs beneath your eyes again. “If you’d like to give me gifts, how about something small? Like maybe one of my favorite snacks? Or you could do something else.” 

“Like?”

“We could go on adventures together. We can go half and half and go on fun dates. Hyunjin just recently told me about a couple’s private pottery class that his pottery teacher hosts. How about something like that? We’ll make memories together, have fun, and we’ll have a shared experience.” 

“I guess that does sound pretty good.” 

He smiled and gently poked your cheek trying to cheer you up even more. You blushed and couldn’t help, but smile back. Your eyes went down to the lego set beside your feet. “Are you really going to make me take it back?” 

“Why not?” 

“Because I really want you to have it and I spent good money on that. Plus, I don’t want to go back to the mall. They’re going to ask why I want to return it and I’m not good at lying. I don’t want to admit that my boyfriend didn’t want it.” 

“Well…” Changbin’s eyes followed yours. “It is a really cool lego set and you did spend a bunch on it. I would like you to take it back, but I will admit that it’d look super cool in my room.”

“So will you keep it just this once?” 

He sighed before he caved. “I suppose, but this is it! If you do something like this again, I’m forcing you to take it back. I’ll hold your hand and drag you into the store. I’ll make it as dramatic as possible, so you’ll be too embarrassed to ever do it again.” 

Your cheeks went red again as you nodded in agreement. Changbin’s gaze went back up to you. “So how about we take this back to my dorm with the rest of the guys? I’ll order us food and we can put this together. Maybe we can have the other guys help us because this is going to take hours.” 

“That sounds like fun.” 

“Maybe even a full year to put together.” 

“I don’t think that’s how this works.” 

“You don’t know that. What if it takes a century? How about a millennium?” 

“Okay, now you’re just being dramatic.” 

“I can’t help it!” He tossed his hands in the air. “I live with Hyunjinnie! What did you expect to happen? 3racha doesn’t just rub off on Hyunjin, he rubs off on us too!” 

_ _ _

Hyunjin:

“You’re being such a fucking bitch!” 

They were just words, but it might as well have been a slap in the face. The look of hurt on your face was one that Hyunjin would never forget as he stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door after him. He slammed it hard enough that the walls shook. 

You shut your eyes and sucked in a deep breath trying not to cry. You were under a lot of stress from work and he was under stress from some stupid controversy that had happened with his band. It was a minor thing, but the management team was grilling all of them behind the scenes. 

The argument was just a simple miscommunication on both your ends. You were both irritated and frustrated due to external factors. It wasn’t much of a surprise when the two of you started to argue, but you didn’t think it’d get this far. 

With your head down, you walked over to the couch. You collapsed onto it and curled your head into the arm. The mixture of high strung emotions whirled into a tornado and now both of you were hurt. Your heart ached due to the cursing and all Hyunjin could feel was guilt. 

You cried and cried and cried until you ended up crying yourself to sleep in the living room. Outside, Hyunjin went on a walk trying to clear his head. He couldn’t believe he had said something like that to you. He was absolutely gutted about it. 

If there was an award for the world’s shittiest boyfriend, he’d have it in the bag. He couldn’t believe he fucked up this badly and it was absolutely unforgivable. His brain started to spiral out of control. 

What if you broke up with him? What if you never wanted to see him again? What if you went to the public and released this information to the press and the fans? He nearly had himself in tears as he took off running back towards the apartment. God, what would his band members think? They’d never forgive him for this. 

Nearly tripping over his feet, soaked in sweat, he shoved open the door and rushed inside. He walked through the brightly lit living room and was about to head towards your room until he found you curled up into a ball on the edge of the leather couch. 

For the first few moments, he was smitten. Your back moved up and down slowly as soft snores came from your mouth. He couldn’t have been outside longer than twenty minutes. 

It was quickly ripped apart when he remembered what he did. Remembering it was like a knife fileted across his stomach. He sucked in a deep breath, moved over to you, and gently shook your shoulder. He softly called your name trying to get you to wake up. 

You shifted at the touch and hummed softly. Your eyelashes were clumped together from tears. When you jerked your head and blearily opened your eyes, Hyunjin’s heart crumbled at the sight of your bloodshot eyes. 

“Baby?” His voice called out softly. He gently stretched a hand out towards you. He held his breath waiting for your reaction. 

“Hmm?” 

He sat down beside you quickly and tugged you into his lap. “I’m so sorry for yelling at you. I’m so sorry for calling you a bitch. I-I don’t know how to make it up to you, but it’ll never happen again.” His eyes became glossier as he spoke. His voice wavered as if he was on the verge of tears.  

“It’s fine,” you weakly got out. “We were both upset and you snapped. It’s not a big deal.” 

“But it is a big deal. I hurt you terribly and said something that never should have come out of my mouth. Darling, I’m so, so, so sorry.” 

“I’ve been called worse,” you mumbled. You were still half asleep with your head on his chest. “I was kinda being a bitch, so you weren’t wrong.” 

“No, you weren’t! I was being an asshole. Please don’t ever accept me calling you names. Never accept anyone calling you names. It’s pathetic and it’s low. You’re so much better than that.” 

“Not really,” you shook your head, “it’s okay, seriously.” 

Tears dripped down Hyunjin’s cheeks. Not only had he done the unimaginable, but now he realized you had low self-esteem. He shook his head, unable to accept your words. 

“No, it’s not okay. You are beautiful and you are lovely. You are a wonderful person and you’re very intelligent. You’re someone I can’t live without and, best of all, you’re my muse. I’m so sorry that I hurt you.” 

“I-” 

He cut you off, “no. You don’t get to say mean things about yourself. You don’t get to accept what I told you. I was a fucking piece of shit and I hate that I can’t take back the words. I’m sorry, so please, if it’s okay with you, just let me hold you for a while.” 

The tears were back in your own eyes as you nodded. You had been called a variety of names in your lifetime. Once upon a time, with an awful friend, you accepted every awful thing they said about you. You were too afraid to stand up for yourself, so you took in the words constantly. 

You heard them so much that you began to believe them. Internally, those words had damaged you far more than you’d ever admit. There were thorns in your heart that still jutted out. 

Sure, Hyunjin’s words and the actions that followed, they really were wrong. Nothing he could say could take them back, but, at least, he was trying to make it right. You couldn’t stand the way he looked with tears in his eyes. 

You adjusted yourself and wrapped around his torso like a koala. He hugged you against his chest tight and rested his head on top of yours. He was so glad that you were still here and were willing to hear him out. 

_ _ _

Han:

“I’m really sorry,” you got out with a grimace. “I know, I know I shouldn’t, but she’s my friend. I can’t leave her hanging all alone. She’s a mom now and I bet that’s really exhausting.” 

Han frowned while watching you lace up your shoes. For the third time, you were canceling the date that the two of you were supposed to go on. All he wanted to do was spend time with you, but your friend kept taking advantage of your kindness. 

It was okay, at first, and he understood. Parenting could be hard and it was healthy to take breaks. However, your friend kept constantly asking you to watch her kid. She never paid you for it and she asked in the spur of the moment. There was never time to preplan anything which kept throwing off what you had with Han. 

Your boyfriend’s patience and understanding only went so far. In your eyes, you were trying to be a good friend. In his eyes, you were being used as a free babysitter because your friend didn’t want to deal with the responsibility of having a kid. It was frustrating and it was annoying, especially when it kept ruining your date nights. 

“I’ll be back later,” you managed to get out. You were starting to feel upset about the situation yourself. Dealing with a baby, one that was only a few months old, was a lot of work. 

After being at work all day, you wanted to lie down and cuddle with Han. You wanted to go with him to do some low energy activity and then come back home and cuddle. Both of you were introverted and you liked it that way. 

Dating an introvert was the best decision you ever made. Sure, occasionally, the two of you liked to go do something you both enjoyed. Most of your time was spent at home where you were relaxed. You weren’t overstimulated and you weren’t overwhelmed. 

“What’s the reasoning this time?” Han grumbled, unable to stop himself from being bitter. He was tired of your friend’s bullshit. If she wanted you to watch her kid so much, the least she could do was pay you. 

“Um…” You trailed off knowing that your response would upset him. 

“Is it something dumb?” 

“I-I guess,” you shrugged, “she wants to go to the bar.” 

“Are you being serious?” He whined. “Baby, that’s not fair! She can wait until the weekend to get plastered, it’s literally only Tuesday! I made restaurant reservations in an hour and now I have to move them again!” 

“I’m really sorry, but she’s my friend.” 

“She’s using you!” 

“But she ju-” 

“Why are you making excuses for her? You know that I’m right. This isn’t helping your relationship with her. You’re not getting paid for this either. You’re babysitting her child and now, when she gets home, you’ll have to babysit her too because she’s going to come home drunk.”

“What am I supposed to do? She’s my friend! I can’t just leave her to suffer alone and I-” 

“Woah,” his eyes widened in shock, “since when is parenting suffering? Your friend knew what she was getting into and you know it. She planned this pregnancy and she went on and on and on about all the baby books she read.” 

“I know that it’s hard to be a single-parent. It’s overwhelming and it’s awful, but you know what? I love you!” Your face scrunched up in confusion from his words. “And I don’t like seeing you being taken advantage of because you’re too kind.” 

“You keep chasing after your friend and you keep giving her an excuse to abandon her duties as a parent to go have fun. It’d be different if this was planned in advance and if you were being paid for it or something, but she keeps doing this!” 

“But-” 

He held up his hand to silence you. “This time she wants to go to a bar. The last time, she had a nail appointment. The time before that? She wanted to go to the bar again. When you’re a parent, you have to do what’s best for your child and sometimes that means sacrificing things for yourself.” 

You stayed silent hating that he was right. Ever since your friend gave birth, she had been leaning on you a lot. It made sense, in the beginning, and you didn’t mind, but it was starting to become a huge issue. 

It’s not that you didn’t like her child because you did. He was adorable and he listened well, but you didn’t want to have a kid and the responsibilities that came with it. At least, not at this time. 

“I don’t want to hurt her feelings,” you finally admitted. “I feel really shitty if I say no. I just…I don’t want to be an asshole.” 

“I know you don’t.” Han walked towards you, grabbed your hands, and tugged you off the couch. “But does it really make you an asshole if you’re putting yourself first? Sometimes you have to give people some tough love. Your friend can’t avoid her parenting responsibilities forever.” 

You let out a sigh and nodded your head. “I’ll go talk to her. I’ll come back and-” You paused before your eyes met his own sparkling eyes. “Is it alright if I meet you at the restaurant?” 

“Really?” 

You nodded again. 

He screeched in delight and jerked you over his shoulder. You shrieked as he spun around and bounced a few times. Your shrieks turned into laughter as he cheered. 

Once he finished, he put you back down. “I’m so proud of you for creating boundaries.” He reached over and planted a gentle kiss on your lips. “I’ll text you the restaurant location and then we’re getting drinks to celebrate. Now,” he shoved you towards the door, “get out and go talk to your friend.” 

“I believe in you and you can do this! No matter what happens, even if it backfires, you’ve got this! Honeybun, you can do anything and handle any problem that comes your way. Wait!” He rushed towards you and placed a kiss on your cheek. “For good luck!” He beamed. 

You laughed and thanked him as you left the apartment. Once you were outside, you sucked in a deep breath. This was terrifying and anxiety-inducing. You were sure your friend would be upset at your decision, but Han was right, you couldn’t keep bowing down to your friend and watching her kid all the time. 

It wasn’t making you happy. It wasn’t fair to the baby because you weren’t their parent. It wasn’t fair that your friend was able to keep avoiding responsibilities either. As you approached your car, you reminded yourself silently that Han believed in you. In turn, it made you believe in yourself too. 

_ _ _

Felix:

It was all going wrong. Everything was going wrong. Felix’s birthday was today and you were screwing up massively. You had everything planned out perfectly and then your mother ruined it. 

Usually, you put aside extra money to splurge on things. You weren’t the best when it came to money. In fact, you struggled with it. Every time you had money, all you wanted to do was spend it. It was a bad habit that you had just yet to break. 

Lately, you had bought a few gifts for Felix. You picked out a few new games for his Nintendo Switch that you’d thought he’d like. Plus, you found a few new articles of clothes that were his style. You even managed to purchase a bottle of the fancy cologne he liked to wear because you realized he was getting low on it. 

You splurged on the wrapping paper and the gift bags. Gift wrapping wasn’t your forte, but you were determined to impress Felix. This was the first year the two of you were dating and you were excited to throw him his own small party between the two of you. You spent nearly three hours on YouTube studying the perfect way to wrap gifts. 

When you found the video you liked the most, you took another two hours following along and neatly following the tutorials. You kept the gifts hidden beneath your bed and away from Felix for a few days, so he had no idea. 

You went out of your way to design a special cake. There was a bakery in the area that had raving reviews. They made custom cakes and you already had an idea of a cake you wanted to create. Since he spent so much time playing Animal Crossing and listening to Animal Crossing music, you wanted to get him to follow that theme. 

You were making a simple sketch of what you wanted. You planned to take it down to the bakery and have them create it. You had a price range and everything. Everything was perfect and then your phone rang. 

You were on your way towards the bakery, it wasn’t far away. When you picked up the phone, you realized it was your mom. You swiped the call and pressed the phone up to your ear. “Hello?” You answered. 

You paused and listened for a moment before your face fell. “Did you seriously? Mom!” You cried out. You couldn’t help the frustration that built up in your voice. 

“Don’t you ‘mom’ me!” Your mother shot back. “You’re old enough that you should be giving back to me. I helped raise you! I put food on your plate and a roof over your head! I fed you and I gave you an education.” 

You gritted your teeth and rolled your eyes at her response. After a while, you hung up the phone frustrated and upset. You returned back home and tried to fall back into your usual upbeat persona. You must have done a good job because Felix didn’t realize that something was wrong. 

The day before, you went to your mother’s house to help her make a meal. You put the small backpack you carried with your jacket. What you didn’t realize was that while you were out cooking, your mother got into your things and stole the cash you pulled out of the bank, specifically, for Felix’s cake. 

She constantly harassed you for money and sometimes you gave in. You couldn’t help it. Every time she pulled out the excuse of raising you, you felt guilty. It was like a kick to the back of the knees and you collapsed every time. 

You struggled to figure out what to do. You didn’t want to borrow money from anyone. You definitely weren’t going to make Felix buy his own cake. You didn’t want to wait until the end of the week before your next paycheck came in, so you decided on the next best thing. 

The next best thing, apparently, wasn’t the best idea. You thought you were making the recipe right for homemade cake, two days later. Everything was going alright until you tasted the batter. You instantly gagged and spit out the mixture. 

As you flipped back through the recipe, you realized that you had followed the recipe perfectly. However, you somehow managed to mix salt with sugar. The supposed sweetened batter was now a salty wreck. 

You cursed beneath your breath and dumped the mixture. You pulled out another bowl to remake and remeasure everything. While you were trying to recreate the recipe, Felix walked right into the kitchen. 

His sudden appearance caught you way off guard. You jumped while pouring flour and suddenly the bowl of half-made liquid cake was coated in way too much flour. A lump sat in the back of your throat as your face fell. 

“Oh,” Felix frowned, “I’m so sorry, baby. I thought you heard me come through the door. What are you making? I’ll help you remake it.” He sent you a reassuring smile, reached over, set a hand on top of your head, and playfully messed up your hair. 

All you could think about was how much he would have loved the Animal Crossing cake. The cake would have been moist and light. The frosting wouldn’t be too sweet and it wouldn’t overwhelm him. 

A strangled squabble came from your throat. Felix blinked in confusion and raised an eyebrow. “Baby, are you alright?” 

“I was supposed to get you a cake!” You blurted out. “I had this plan to get you an amazing cake with Tom Nook on it. I was going to recreate your little house and your character. It was going to be so cute and t-then-” you sucked in a shaky breath feeling like you were going to cry. “My mom took my money when I was at her house. I-I’m so sorry.” 

“It was going to be a cute cake. It was going to be custom made and it was supposed to be here, but I couldn’t even pay to have the bakers make it. I wanted to put it here and surprise you. I was going to make you a homemade one to try and make up for it, but I keep fucking it up.” 

A soft smile filled Felix’s face. “You were going to get an Animal Crossing cake for me?” 

“You love that game a lot.” 

“And I also love you a lot. It was an incredibly sweet idea, but don’t beat yourself up over it. I’ll be more than happy to have anything you bake me. I know you’d bake a homemade cake with plenty of love. That’s something that Tom Nook doesn’t know anything about.” 

You suddenly broke into a laugh as tears filled your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you finally finished. “I’m just really not having a great day. I should be having the best day ever. You popped out of your mom’s womb on this day and that was the greatest gift of all.” 

“Woah, okay, how about we stop right there?” He laughed. “We really don’t need to talk about my mother’s womb.” 

“I should call her and thank her.” 

“I don’t know how she’d respond to that. So anyway, what about your mom stealing your money? Is she going to give it back?” 

And so, you and Felix worked side-by-side making a third cake batter and placing it in the oven. He listened to you ramble about your mom while the two of you tossed ingredients into a bowl. You explained how guilty she made you feel and how you’d occasionally give her money because of that guilt. 

“Sweetheart, I don’t think that’s healthy. You don’t owe your parents anything. As a parent, it’s their responsibility to provide for you. They shouldn’t be making you feel guilty for that.” 

“I can’t help it, it’s the people pleasing part of me.” 

“I understand because I’m like that too sometimes. You’ve just gotta do what’s best for you. Your mom can be a little…um….” 

“Crazy?” You finished for him. 

“Well, I was looking for a nicer word, but yes. She can be a little much sometimes. You seem to be a lot happier when you don’t interact with her. I think you should focus on what makes you happy.” 

The two of you continued to talk. When the cake was baked, Felix leaned over to pull it from the oven, and you rushed to your room to grab the presents you had. He placed the cake on the stove to let it cool. When he turned back around, he blinked in shock. 

A few wrapped presents and a gift bag sat upon the counter that the two of you had just cleaned up a few moments prior. When his curious eyes met yours, you smiled at him. “Just because I couldn’t get the cake, it doesn’t mean I couldn’t spoil you with gifts. Happy birthday, baby.”

_ _ _

Seungmin:

Seungmin’s heart stopped beating when he heard you sobbing. He just came home from the studio. There wasn’t time to take off his shoes. His brain instantly went to the worst thing and he sprinted towards the sound. 

He didn’t knock, he just shoved the bedroom door open with wide eyes. You were a wreck with your face in the pillow. He rushed towards you in a panic. “Hey, hey, hey, why are you crying?” He hurried over and plopped down beside you. 

His hand instantly went towards your back to comfort you. Upon hearing his voice, you cried into your pillow harder. There was something embarrassing about being vulnerable in front of your significant other. 

“Baby, please talk to me. I don’t know what’s wrong if you don’t tell me. Did something happen?” He gently scooped his hands beneath your stomach and shifted you into a sitting position. 

A thousand what-ifs were locked into his head. You sucked in a shaky deep breath and let out another sob. He frowned and wiped your tears away. You hiccuped through the final few sobs. 

“I-I’m sorry,” you stuttered in a shrill voice. “I-I just-” 

“It’s alright, you don’t have to apologize. Just tell me what’s wrong. I hate seeing you like this.” He frowned and wiped away your tears. 

“M-My friend,” you managed to get out. 

“Your friend? What happened? Did they get injured?” Fear struck his heart. “Did they die?” 

You shook your head again frantically and your hair shook from side to side. “T-They just keep saying things a-and-” You burst into another sob. 

His eyebrows scrunched in confusion. His arms wrapped around you while you sobbed. While he held you close to him, there was a vibration from beside you as your phone received another notification. Your fingers clenched around his arm and you cried harder. 

Seungmin tried to console you, but you were a mess. He pressed his lips against the top of your scalp and continued to fight off your tears. He shushed you and rubbed your back. When your phone vibrated again, he finally glanced down at your phone. 

Your head was buried in his chest. You were a wreck from what your friend was telling you. More quick vibrations filled your phone with every text sent your way. Seungmin’s eyes didn’t leave the screen as more and more text notifications filled the screen. 

“Baby, who’s texting you?” 

You didn’t respond. Your fingers clutched onto his shirt tighter. You buried your head in his chest more as if it’d help you escape your inner turmoil. The tighter you clung to him, the more worried he became. 

He’d never seen you to the point of being unconsolable. Sure, you had your rough days before, but not like this. When your phone vibrated again, he didn’t ask. He reached over, unlocked your phone, and he glanced at the text messages. 

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he definitely wasn’t expecting to find one of your close friends screaming every obscenity at you imaginable in capitalized letters. His jaw instantly clenched and his hand tightened around your phone screen. 

“Baby, why the fuck are you being cursed out?” 

“B-Because,” you hiccuped, “I said I didn’t want to hang out with them.” 

“So why are they cursing at you?”

“They’re always like this when they don’t get their way. I’m h-having-” you hiccuped again, “a bad day and t-this just-” 

“Was your tipping point?” 

You sniffled and nodded. Seungmin frowned and scrolled through a few previous text messages. “They’re really always like this?” 

“They’re kind of mean when they have a bad day.” 

“Kind of?” Bewilderment stretched his eyebrows up. “Kind of?” 

He read a little more and gasped. “I know this dumbfuck didn’t just call my significant other ugly. Now we have our own little beef. Ugly? Have they considered looking in the mirror? The love of my life is no such thing.” 

He didn’t even ask, he just responded. When he was quiet for a while, you pulled your head out of his chest with wet cheeks. “What are yo-” 

“Putting this cunt in their place.” 

“Seungmin!” You cried shocked at the insult. 

“Don’t ‘Seungmin’ me. They just said you looked like you were inbred and they have a big storm coming their way. I won’t let an ugly cunt insult the love of my life. Not when they look like they were shaken in the womb and came out disfigured in more ways than one.” 

“You cannot be mean back!” You reached out and attempted to grab your phone. He jerked it out of your reach. “Seungmin!” 

“I’m just getting to the good part, baby. Wait until I tell them that a New York City rat has more manners and class than them.” 

“Seungmin!” 

“Swing low and I go lower,” he shrugged innocently, “maybe they shouldn’t have been so mean. They can start it, but I’m ending it.” 

You sighed, but you let him go. He seemed to be really focused on your phone. His eyes were narrowed and his thumbs moved frantically over the screen. He typed for quite a while before he hit the send button. 

“Do I even want to know what you said?” 

“Nope. Don’t worry,” he pressed a few more buttons, “because now you never have to deal with them again.” 

“What did you do?” 

“Blocked them after giving them a long insult that will be sure to affect their family for multiple generations after them.” 

“You didn’t have to do that.” 

“I’m not going to sit by and let an asshole insult my favorite person.” 

You softened instantly and glanced up at him with heart eyes. “I’m your favorite person.” 

“Maybe. It might have just slipped out. Anyway,” he stood up and grabbed your arm. You followed along and let him lead you into the bathroom. He pushed you in front of him and stood with his hands on your shoulders. You stood staring at your reflections in the bathroom mirror. 

“What are we doing?” 

“You’re going to repeat after me.” 

“But I-” 

“Nope, you’re not getting out of this. We’re going to stand here for five minutes and recite positive affirmations to dust off that negativity. After that, who knows, I might put a curse on that motherfucker.” 

“Seungmin!” 

“I’ll let Changbin beat them up and allow Lee Know to shove them in the air-fryer. Just wait until Felix finds out what they did to my precious gem. The sunshine is going to turn into a tornado and rip them apart. Now repeat after me, I am beautiful.” 

You hesitated at first, but after a while, you were repeating the affirmations through laughter and smiles as Seungmin tickled you. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone off on your friend, but you were precious to him and he hated to see you cry. He’d do anything to cheer you up. 

_ _ _

Jeongin:

Another day meant another chance to thrive. In your case, it was another day to sleep whenever you could fit it. Today, it was in your car. You barely got into the driveway and got the car turned off. You instantly slumped forward and pressed your head against the cool steering wheel. You fell asleep rather quickly and were like that for a while. 

Jeongin was used to coming home and finding your car in the parking lot. You got home an hour before him on most days. It wasn’t much of a surprise when he saw your familiar car in the parking lot. He parked his car behind you and shut it off. 

After climbing out, he yawned and lifted his arms above his head in a stretch. There were a few quick pops from his spine and he hissed. Today, the band had dance practice. His body was sore in more than one area. 

He shook out his limbs and began to head towards the apartment until he saw something out of the corner of his eye. With a frown, he glanced over towards your car. It took him a moment before he made your slumped figure out in the driver’s seat. 

His eyes filled with horror and he rushed towards your side of the car. He gripped the side of the car and tugged on the handle. Unfortunately, it was locked. Panic engulfed him and he knocked on your window frantically. 

You groaned at the noise interrupting your sleep. You shifted, but you didn’t lift up your head. Upon seeing this, he knocked at your window harder and tried to tug the handle again. 

Realizing someone was attempting to get into your car, you finally glanced up to find your boyfriend at your window. His eyes were full of concern as he gestured for you to unlock the car. 

You reached over, hit the unlock button, and you yawned. Jeongin flung the door open and hurried to your side. “Are you okay? Baby, please look at me.” 

When your sleepy eyes met his, his worry increased. He gently grabbed your chin and turned your head to the side. His eyes scanned for a head injury. “Are you alright, sweetheart? Did you hit your head? Did you pass out or something? Have you eaten anything?” 

“Hmm?” 

“You were unconscious in the car.” 

“Oh, yeah,” you shrugged, “I fell asleep.” 

He let out a sigh of relief, stroked your chin a few times, and finally let go. “You scared the fuck out of me. I thought something had happened and I was going to have to call an ambulance. If you wouldn’t have unlocked the car, I probably would have broken the window.” 

“I’m alright, I swear. I’m just tired, that’s all.” You rubbed your eyes with another yawn. “I’ve gotta head inside and get some sleep. My boss is probably going to want me to come into the office again early and stay late.” 

“Baby, with all due respect, you’re like a walking zombie. I know you like pleasing your boss and the money is good, but this isn’t healthy for you.” 

You let out a groan, but Jeongin stood his ground. “I know you don’t like hearing it, but you know I’m right. You need to focus on what’s best for you. Sometimes that means making sacrifices that might make other people unhappy, occasionally.” 

He reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “Let’s get you inside and taken care of. Have you eaten anything today?” 

“I haven’t had time, honestly.” 

He frowned again, but he didn’t lecture you. “Let’s start there and then we can go on. Let’s get you a quick bite to eat and then get you to bed, alright?” 

You nodded in agreement. He held out his hand and you intertwined your fingers with his. You let him slowly tug you towards the house. Still half-asleep, you didn’t mind the babying he was doing for you. He plopped you down in a kitchen chair. 

You rested your head in your hand and nearly fell back asleep. He quickly made the two of you instant ramen cups to share. You were teetering on the edge of conscious and unconsciousness. He gently shook you awake, so you can eat. 

The two of you managed to have a decent conversation despite your yawns and tired voice. You managed to get halfway through the ramen before you nearly knocked it over as your body twitched while falling asleep. 

He chuckled and moved your ramen away from you. “Alright, come on, let’s go.” He stood up, grabbed your hands, and gently tugged you up. “Let’s go get you all tucked in, sleepyhead.” 

You hummed in agreement and let him lead you to the bed. He helped you out of your work clothes and into a pair of pajamas. When he was finished, he led you towards the bed and he tucked you beneath the covers. 

Bending over you, he planted a soft kiss on your forehead. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too,” you sleepily mumbled with your eyes shut. 

“Promise you’ll start to work less overtime? I don’t want you to fall asleep on the road and get into a car accident. I want you to be safe and healthy.” 

You weakly nodded your head in agreement. He planted another kiss on your head before he laid down beside you. Happily, you snuggled into his warmth. His arms wrapped around you and he rested his head on top of yours. 

You fell asleep rather quickly, but it took a little longer for him to follow. He was nearly asleep until your phone chirped with a new notification. Groggily, he reached over and grabbed your phone off the side table. 

He stared at the text message from your boss and then he glanced over at you. You were sleeping rather peacefully and he didn’t want to wake you up. Taking his time, he slowly removed himself from your bed and crept with your phone out into the kitchen. 

Far away from you, he called your boss and explained that you had been overworking yourself. When your boss heard about how little sleep you were getting, they were instantly struck with guilt. Jeongin got permission for you to take off the next two days. 

You now had Thursday and Friday off, so you could catch up on sleep and recover. After that, you were free during the weekend. On Monday morning, he made sure you were able to go in at normal time. 

Maybe, you’d be able to work overtime as long as you didn’t overwhelm yourself with it. Jeongin couldn’t help it, he was worried about you. If you were upset and thought he’d overstepped his boundaries, that was a conversation the two of you could have the next day. 

For now, he placed your phone back on the side table. Climbing back into the bed, he wrapped his arms around you. He tugged your sleeping form close and let out a sigh of relief. With a calm mind and a fluttering heart, he’d finally join you in the land of dreams. 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡|

Masterlist

Taglist and inbox rules

[headcanons-n-shit]

Hello

Your newest post reminded me i had an idea. The bois comforting wol who is having a nervous brakedown from all the stress. Bonus Ardbert.

I really like your stories. Especially the angsty ones.

(TAZ The Breakdown plays in the background)

(Mild shadowbringers spoilers)

Thancred literally (accidentally but still) disassociated so hard from the stress that he gave up his body to the bad guy for a bit. If anyone gets what youre going through, its probably going to be him. Hes not going to waste his time on empty platitudes: hes going to get you a glass of water, a warm blanket, and a hot meal, and let you cry it out on his shoulder for as long as you need to.

(And if that still doesnt help, well. Sex is still on the table. Its rarely a good idea, but hes all out of those.)

Urianger is probably breaking down with you lets be real. Every future my mans has ever read has included world-ending catastrophe, and, sure, youve thwarted it every time (usually with his help) but. What if this time you dont? What if this time you fail???? Its an unreasonable amount of stress for one man to be carrying. He probably does a fantastic amount of fantasy weed to cope and still all it takes is seeing you break down for him to also start blubber-crying.

Graha seems kind of detached and distant at first. "Shower water food" he commands you, in the voice of Lynas grandfather the Crystal Exarch, firm and uncompromising and impossible to disobey, and you might miss the way his voice and smile are strained. The way his hands clench and unclench at his sides. Hes never regretted turning back time to help you save two worlds, but. Its times like this that he wonders if he shouldnt try again to give you a happier ending.

Estinien is a firm hand on your shoulder, a steady shoulder to lean on, because he gets it. The feeling of being trapped in your own body, puppetted by powers so much greater than you can imagine, almost greater than you can comprehend... Youre breaking down for the both of you, honestly, because hes spent so long training the iron discipline to resist nidhoggs influence that he doesnt know how to anymore. This is. Cathartic. For the both of you tbh.

Aymeric wishes in this moment, more than anything, that he could just. Just be with you. Out on your journeys, giving you support by your side instead of from a distance. And he knows, he knows, that the support he gives you is important, that his ability to move nations in your favor has helped far more than any single sword at your side ever would. But he bears the weight of a nation while you bear the weight of a star, and that just. Doesnt seem fair to him.

Haurchefant knows that theres some things that hot chocolate cant fix but. Its a good starting place if nothing else. Something warm and sweet right now couldnt hurt, neither would a soft blanket and a roaring fire. He'll sit with you, bundled up together, and just listen if thats what you need. Or he can talk-- he has plenty of embarrassing stories about Artoirel that he hasnt shared yet. Either way, he'll happily help you wipe your tears away when youre done, and then drop a delicate kiss on your forehead.

Stand tall, he says. A smile better suits a hero.

Sidurgu is surprisingly good at this. Or, maybe not so surprising? Rielle is very mature for her age, but shes still a child. He probably does this whole song and dance every other week. And you feel a little bit like a child, the way he bullies you into the shower and then bundles you up in blankets and pushes food at you, but. Beneath the gruff words and scowl you can tell hes worried. Frustrated. This is exactly the kind of injustice that as a dark knight he swore he would fight, but hes just one man, there isnt much he can do about the desolation of the star. But he also needs you to know that he'll always be in your corner. Whether in this little way or if you need him to help you kill a god, he'll always come when you call.

BONUS

Ardbert has never felt so helpless in his life. He cant touch you, cant be a shoulder you can cry on. He cant even fetch you a glass of water. All he can do is stand there and watch as you break apart in your bed in the Pendants, and its. Its torture, worse than anything any ascian could ever conceive.

Still. He does what he can. And if all he can do is sit at your bedside, his hand hovering half-through yours in a mockery of touch while he tells you stories of his adventures, or friendship and triumph and happier times, well. Its the least he can do.

[babybluebex]

thoughts on dom and rockstar reader ?!?!?

i feel like dom could very much have a rockstar gf. like i imagine their relationship would be super olivia rodrigo + louis partridge coded where everyone is just so happy for them even though they keep it moderately lowkey. i love your dom writing btw!!

idk too much ab olivia and louis, like to the point where i didn't even know they were official 😬 but thinking of rockstar!reader and dom, i can see people like initially doubting it when the rumors first start up, just bc on the surface you're sorta different people, but then the photoshoot dom did for the face magazine where he looks all indie sleaze and rocker, his shirt has the logo for your band on it, but it also has like a distressed bit at the bottom, and your fans clock it immediately bc you've worn that exact shirt on stage before and it's a joke ab how you ripped the shirt onstage when it got caught on your mic stand, and suddenly the rumors seem much more valid

and then dom shows up in VIP at one of your concerts?? and he's trading kandi with fans and taking selfies, and he's singing all the songs and having a great time, but of course everyone notices that he's only looking at you

and then after the show, you're spotted out at dinner with him, and it's like "yeah alright they're absolutely dating"

he loves seeing you do your thing onstage, thrashing and yelling, watching you go all sweaty and shiny and your makeup smearing around, and he loves kissing you all sloppy and messy when you get offstage when your energy is still running high

and thinking of your band being asked to perform like somewhere very high profile, the VMAs or smth, and the tech production is much higher than what you're used to, and you tell him you're a little nervous about the pyro elements for the show, but he tells you that it'll be badass and everyone will remember your television debut

and the cameras at the VMAs keep doing crowd shots while you perform, and dom shows up a few times, dancing and singing and cheering when the columns of flames shoot up during the breakdown on your song, and he thinks you're the prettiest girl ever with the fire reflected in your eyes and the biggest, proudest smile on your face as you hear the audience cheering back at you

you win best rock song at this show, and you're still trying to recover from your performance as you clutch the moonman statue to your chest, and you thank your parents, your bandmates, and of course "i have to thank my boyfriend dominic, he keeps me feeling normal when there are very much abnormal things happening, i love you so much" and dom reacts like that video of sabrina waving at barry at coachella, he covers his face and freaks the hell out and smiles so widely

yes yes yes dom and rockstar!reader is so so so fun to think about

[wee-chlo]

EPISODE 7&8 SPOILERS AHOY

But also spoilers for Hazbin Hotel in general, specifically Alastor and His Whole Thing, What's His Thing?

Okay so, for everyone's pondering: An alternative interpretation of Alastor's Verse in the Finale song.

This place reeks of death

There's a chill in the air

And I barely escaped being killed by a hair

"Great Alastor, altruist, died for his friends"

Sorry to disappoint

That is not where this ends

I'm hungry for freedom like never before

The constraints of my deal surely have a back door

Once I figure out how to unclip my wings

Guess who will be pulling all the strings?

I'm going to throw some stuff at the wall and see what sticks and in so doing, I'm going to write speculation as if it's fact. Bear with me.

Alastor craves power because in his experience, power is freedom. Power is having control over others, which means they don't have control over you. Alastor always, at all times, has to be the most powerful person in the room in some way, shape, or form, or at least feel secure in the feeling that he's the most powerful person in the room.

His pathologic need to smile at all times points to this too: he has to have the upper hand. He has to be in control. He can't show emotion, he can't let his enemies or his friends know exactly what's going on with him.

The only time we see him actually, legitimately losing control over himself is his verse in the finale. Right after he almost dies a second time. Right after he has to flee. Right after he loses the source of his power.

The second his microphone is destroyed, he's easily defeated. All his power is gone. That microphone is the source of it, the tool through which he channels either his power or the power given to him by his deal (I think the latter is more accurate). And the second it's destroyed, he's powerless. Possibly the weakest person on the battlefield. Everyone else is holding their own but him? Immediately struck down and forced to run. You could say "well, any other demon would have had to run or die too", and I'd say exactly. Alastor doesn't want to be the same as any other demon. He wants to be the most terrifying thing in the room, in the building, on the battlefield, in Hell.

And when he runs, everyone assumes what happened. Everyone has their own views on him, their opinions. He doesn't control anything about that situation. He doesn't control the fight, he doesn't control the narrative. When Vox was chattering away about him, it was a simple thing to take over and put him back in his place. When Husk disrespected him, he lashed out and made sure that Husk remembered who was the stronger of the two. Even Charlie's more positive view of him is largely orchestrated by him; she doesn't have a view that's counter to his own intentions, at any rate. Suddenly, and for a brief moment, everything about himself is out of his control.

I think this is why he looks so unhinged singing the line about how he's an altruist and died for his friends. Because he didn't, and it doesn't matter that that's a nice idea, a positive view, that it makes him look good. That's not what he wants. It's a story that's outside of his control and just the thought of that sets his teeth on edge.

I think when he sings about the constraints of his deal, he's singing about the loss of the microphone specifically, as well as the deal broadly. Because if I'm right and the majority of his power hinges on that microphone, it's broken and he's without that power. Which means that he's running on his reputation and little else, and it's only a matter of time before that facade is torn away.

So he's got to figure out a way to circumvent his deal, or at least the constraints of it, the details, or else it's all going to fall apart. The fact that he needs the microphone to use his powers is the proverbial "clipping" of his wings.

Alastor's Verse in the Finale is him on the borderline of a nervous breakdown because not only did he almost die, which is bad enough on it's own, but suddenly every little bit of his control over the situation, both figuratively and literally, is slipping away and he's scrambling to figure out how to put it right again.

[baby-alien11]

Procura coquetearme más

Ethan Landry (Kirsch, Bailey or I don't how what his real last name is) x mexican fem reader

warnings: no ghostface (in this universe Richie actually died in a car accident), friends to lovers

I found @katzluvs idea while looking more Ethan fics, and I instantly thought of the entire school year that I spend at quinceañeras every weekend (including mine) and I got a lot of memories

You and Ethan met during a tour of Blackmore University when both of you were still in high school, being you the one who aproached him noticing how he sent glances at you and his shy aura, let's say that for the entire tour he didn't left your side being a little scared to loose himself from the group

After that, the both of you were inseparable spending time together even knowing each others families (and even knowing what happenned with his older brother)

"So, my cousin is having her quinceañera this weekend", you said while the both of you were watching a movie in his house and eating pizza, "They told me I could bring someone, and I thought of you, what do you think?"

"I've never been in a party like that, or even a normal party", he responded a little nervous

"It doesn't matter, it will be fun, I promise, you could say it's like a family reunion"

"It sounds fun, okay", Ethan nodded making you smile, "But, I don't know how to dance"

"It's easy", you shrugged getting up from the rug, "Come on"

A little doubtful, he did the same while you searched in your Spotify for a song, which was 'Criminal' by Natti Natasha and Ozuna

"Let's have a little class, we will start with urban style, this is like freestyle", you instructed, "Try to move your hips and relax"

At first it was hard because he haven't dance in his entire life, but he kinda understood, kinda, following with something a little more coreographed, 'Procura' from Chichi Peralta

"This is a little more traditional, we could call it a cumbia if we want to say, the ones who dance this more are the adults, but it would help, take my hands and follow me"

Nervous, he took your hands following your moves feeling more confident and tought that the dance was fun

"Okay, with this you can dance all the songs in that style, but the more difficult challenge is this", you said playing 'Payaso de Rodeo', "This is indespensible to learn, beacuse everyone is on the dance floor during this, and if you could hold it, we are going to be one of the few people standing"

"Is this a contest?", Ethan asked with confusion

"No", you replied, "But is fun"

Due to being a little more active, both of you made more space in his room to start practicing the dance, often crashing into each other between laughes, not noticing that Wayne and Quinn were watching everything from the door with confusion, Quinn filming the whole thing for fun

The day of the party who was saturday, Ethan had a little breakdown due to the fact that he didn't know what to wear until he asked you, and you answered saying a suit will be fine

"Who wears a suit to a family reunion?", Ethan asked while pacing in the living room

"I was curious and searched for those type of parties", Quinn said, "It's a big deal, like their MET Gala, also, if she has some hot cousin, can you get his number for me?"

"Are you fucking serious right now?", Ethan exclaimed in disbelief

"Kids, calm down", Wayne interrupted the discussion, "Ethan, here you go, is my jacket and Richie's old formal pants and you have a white formal shirt, it should be fine"

"Thanks dad", Ethan sighed taking the pieces of clothes, "Do you think I need a tie or something?"

"First go take a shower and dress, we'll disscus it later", Wayne instructed gently pushing him towards the bathroom

"Do you think he's going to kiss her today?", Quinn asked her father Ethan entered the bathroom

"I hope so", Wayne sighed

A few hours later, Ethan was still in his room getting ready with Quinn's help, deciding that a tie was no needed, when they heard how the front door was being open follow by your voice, so they hurried to the living room

When Ethan saw you in a light pink jumpsuit and golden high heels with your hair in small waves and golden accesories, he stopped for a moment before Quinn moved his arm in a sign to come back to this reality

"Ethan, hi", you exclaimed hugging him, "You look great"

"Thanks", he smiled with shyness, "You look gorgeous, well, you always look gorgeous"

Laughing a little because of his nervous tone, you took the time to notice he was wearing a black jacket and pants with a white formal shirt with the first two buttons undone, no tie in sight

After a few minutes of Quinn taking photos of both of you, you and Ethan were free to go towards the entrance of the building were your family car was waiting in the street

"Ethan!", your little sister screamed running in his direction, at what him took her in his arms, "I'm so happy your coming"

"I'm too", he responded with sincerity, "You look like a little princess"

"Y/N help me to choose it", she said gesturing the bright pink puffy dress

"¡Niños, apurense!", your mom screamed from the passenger seat, "¡Vamos a llegar tarde!"

Making your way to the car, the six year old child was the first to enter followed by you and Ethan

"Mijo, te ves guapisimo", your mom said turning to watch Ethan

"Gracias", Ethan smiled with his cheeks burning red understanding what she said due to the fact that you teach him some spanish

The moment the car parked outside the building of the events room and Ethan saw all the cars in the parking lot, he knew his sister was serious about the topic

"Here's what you need to know", you said while walikg behind your parents, "La quinceañera will enter after everyone is here, it will probably take an hour, right know they are en la misa de celebración and they will take a lot of photos, after her arrival she will make her gran entrada, following with the waltz and her surprise dance, the snacks and desserts table is closed until after the dances, the little ones had their own menu which is like fast food or something like that, the adults have fancy food, only the adults get to drink the alcohol, gracias a Dios que ya tenemos dieciocho, usually the teens are on the dance floor during the reggeatón songs, and they are outside after that, mostly the couples, during the part were the teens are on the dance floor, the DJ usually gives ballons, hats with funny phrases, funny accesories, it's crazy, don't mind the kids sleeping in chairs it's normal, ¿alguna pregunta?"

"I think not", Ethan answered while the both of you sit in the lounge area, "I tought you only said family only"

"By family, I meant everyone alive from both sides, friends of the family, friends of the quinceañera, and also her brother's friends, oh, and be careful with the aunts", you explained while a waiter aproached to the small sofa, "Dos daiquiris de fresa con vodka, por favor"

"What do you mean to be careful with the aunts?"

"They usually made uncomfortable questions to people that they don't know, in this case, you, don't worry, I'll be by your side", you smiled while taking one of this hands

At first, that gesture took him by surprise but he eventually felt confident enough to bring your hand to his face to leave a kiss on the back, making you blush

Not noticing your parents watching from afar

"Definitivamente van a besarse para el final de la noche", your mother commented

"No estoy listo para que tenga novio", your dad argued with your little sister in his arms

"Me agrada Ethan", the six year old said while playing with a doll, "Cuando va a casa juega a las muñecas conmigo"

Back at the lounge, you and Ethan were enjoying your drinks or taking photos with your hands still together in his lap

Just like you said, some aunts aproached to say hi and ask about Ethan, some uncomfortable cuestions, some not, but the most common was if the two of you were dating, which both of you denied

Just like you said, soon, the entire room was full of people of all ages, everyone dress in their best clothes, when a group of teenagers aproached the both of you to ask if they could use the extra space in the couches, both of you ended up sitting in a corner with you almost on his lap for the lack of space

During the waltz you recorded part of the dance, not noticing the loving look Ethan was giving you, but some younger cousins did, gigling of how cute that was, but neither of you noticed that

After the dances and speach, Ethan was quick in running to the food tables to grab something for the both of you before the other teens ended it

After the dinner was done, all the teenagers filled the big dance floor leaving empty the lounge area, but even after that, you and Ethan stayed together just enjoying the party

"Do you want to dance?", Ethan asked suddenly making you to look him with surprise, "I-I mean, you teach me how to"

"I would love to", you interrupted him

Smiling in confidence, Ethan took your hand to lead you to a free area in the dance floor to dance without bumping onto someone, but you noticed his nervous self looking anywhere but your eyes, in which you took his chin between your fingers connecting your eyes

"Sueltate, ¿esta bien?", you said smiling, "Diviertete"

His body was a little stiff at the beggining, but seeing you move your entire body at the rythim of the urban and reggeatón music made him do the same taking your hands at first, moving them until they ended in your waist, while yours were in the back of his neck

Even when the more "traditional" songs came, both of you still dance with the song while laughing because all the fun both of you were having

"Do you want to get some air?", Ethan asked watching how you were sweating and gasping for air

"Por favor", you nodded

After telling your parents that you were going to get some air, both of you went to the terrace were you sit on one of the bunks in front of the pool, noticing the cold night, Ethan was quick to put his jacket in your shoulders

"So, what do you think?", you asked taking your heels off

"This is wild and fun", Ethan responded, "I definitely want to come to another"

"Well, you are lucky that another cousin is turning quince in a few months"

"But, I don't want to came as only your friend", Ethan said causing you to look at him in surprise, "I like you, since that day we met at the Blackmore tour, and I'm glad you aproached because I honestly couldn't have the courage to do it myself, and..."

Interrupting him mid-phrase, you leaned over to kiss him at what he was surprised at first but soon he circled your waist with his arms, while your hands were in his curls and neck

The lack of air was the thing that made both of you break the kiss, but your foreheads were still together, during those moments, one of Ethan's hands travelled from your waist to the back of your neck

"In that case, do you want to come to the next ones as my boyfriend?", you asked softly tugging at some strands of his hair

"Me encantaría", Ethan answered with almost perfect pronuncation

For the next few minutes, you and Ethan stayed in the same position sharing small pecks and holding each other, enjoying each other's company

That was until the first melodies of Payaso de Rodeo started sounding, causing the both of you to run inside the room to join the dance

[differenteagletragedy]

would you be ever so kind as to spare some OL2 headcanons or crumbs 🤲🤲

If you don’t wanna write for OL2 then OLBA is just as amazing!!!!!!

Hi! I will eventually write for OL2 I'm sure, but I haven't gotten through the demo yet! Right now I'm at the beginning of the first day of school -- I keep getting pulled back into the first one because it has such a chokehold on me lol.

But I was writing these for OLBA so I'll put them here! Thank you!!!

-- Do you like trashy reality shows? Good for you. Cove's not really into it, but he'll watch with you if you want him to. Derek can definitely have some fun with it. But Baxter turns into a monster.

MC answering their phone: Hey, what's up?

Baxter: DID YOU SEE, *this person* from *this show* got arrested.

MC: Aren't you supposed to be working?

Baxter: I saved the mug shot to my photos, I am sending it to you via text right now.

(Client in the background complaining)

Baxter: I do have to get off the phone now, but if you hear anything else call the office and tell them it's an emergency, they'll put you through to me.

-- If you go the Derek romance route, I think you make out once in high school. Because hormones, you've crushed on each other for years, and like it just happens. And then after he's very unwell, he keeps apologizing, and either your really shy and nervous about it or like "no it's ok, that was nice," but either way he's like "HAVE TO GO, TTYL." He doesn't talk to you for a little bit but then feels bad.

MC: Derek, I like you in a romantic way. I want you to be my boyfriend. I liked kissing you and I want to kiss you again.

Derek: Haha that was crazy, so how's school going?

-- Derek is good with cars. Big muscles make car go vroom.

Like there would have been a time when you got a flat tire and you either didn't know how to change it or blanked on what Cliff told you (Cliff taught you how to change a tire, no questions) and called him like "help" and he dropped everything and drove to wherever you were to change it for you.

-- He's also good with mechanical fixes, and just with his hands in general. Is your sink messed up? Call Derek. Some issue with your stove? Call Derek. Creaky door? You already know. (You have to do stuff for him too though, that's the rules).

-- Back to Cliff though, you know those videos of men like "I'm going to teach you some dad stuff" for people who grew up without dads? That's Cliff. Obviously your moms are amazing, but Daddy Cliff is going to step in too sometimes.

-- Cliff teaching MC how to tie a tie, just imagine.

-- Baxter goes home alone after Miranda's birthday party/the second party for him and finishes off that bottle of champagne because he knows that summer's almost over and he's going to do A Bad Thing and he hates himself.

-- Honestly it hurt my feelings so much at the end of Step 3 lol, like I was genuinely taken aback by his goodbye scene. Asking MC why they'd keep talking when he couldn't give them rides anymore like that's all they were interested in, the audacity.

-- Cove has the whole game, he's gonna be ok, we're talking about other people this time.

-- In adulthood, MC looks back at that time they learned their birth parents died when they were a baby, had a quick breakdown then went back home and did a musical performance for their family as one of the cringiest moments of their life (I'm not using second person this time because I don't want to sound judgey but LOL come on). They'll tell Derek about it later on when they're together and he'll be like "aww, that sounds sweet," and Baxter will be nice about it too, but he'll also have some comments to make.

Baxter: Darling, my plant at the office seems to be dying, could you perhaps do a song and dance number to ease my pain?

MC: Shut uuuuuup.

-- Last week gb patch made a post on Patreon with a new sketch for OLNF with wedding planner Baxter, so like the oldest Baxter we'll see in cannon, and he was wearing a cream turtleneck, a purple overcoat, and what looked to me to be a peach colored gingham suit. So by the time he gets to be like 40, his fashion sense is going to be off the rails. He's going to call you and be like "I just went shopping, I hope you like my new look," and come home like:

[little-teacupss]

Their good fairy part 3 - part 2 of castlecoming

Note: I think this will be the last part of the 'their good fairy' series, or possibly the second to last, I just want to say thank you to anyone who has been keeping up with this series, started to follow this ship, and especially thank you to @giveityourworst, for inspiring and helping me make this series and 'P.S I still love you', once again go show them some love because without them we wouldn't have this series and their my co-founder/creditor for this ship/series!

Warnings: AK and VK relationship, Poly, Ella's breakdown, the prank, and mild cussing

Note 2: part one, part two, and part three. Once again, you can give criticism without being a prick about it, and some of the dialogue comes from the original Cinderella and features three original cinderella songs! I don't like writing singing for character dialogue, but it worked for this story, and it's probably the second to last chapter to 'their good fairy', so let's get wacky with it! :D

Part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 of part 1 of castlecoming here

___________________________________________

Fay nervously looked in the mirror as she felt her heart racing. She loved how the original periwinkle color of the dress matched Hades, but she had also used her wand to give an ombre effect where the periwinkle slowly became a purple the further down it went, she smiled as she looked at the dress, before her eyes traveled to her face, she squinted her eyes and pursed her lips unsure if she was satisfied with how she did her makeup.

She lets out a soft sigh as she finally stops looking in the mirror and turns her head to the window. As she hears a light tapping noise, she walks over and opens the window, allowing two people to crawl their way in, Maleficent dusts herself off before looking up at Fay and staring at her in awe. "You look lovely."

Maleficent tries to keep her cool facade up as she looks Fay up and down while Hades stays in the back and simply observes. "The dress fits you perfectly."

She continued as she walked around the smaller fairy, then Hades stepped forward and shoved his hand forward with a light blue corsage while he looked in a different direction that wasn't Fay's face who was currently staring at the corsage with a small smile as her eyes lit up, and she gently took the corsage from his hand and put it on her wrist. "Thank you, Hades."

Fay whispers as she adjusts the corsage in place while Hades hands Maleficent a lavender corsage, to which she accepts and then examines it. "I'll take it."

She turned her head away from the two as she put the corsage on her wrist, careful not to damage it in any way. "Now let's get going."

Maleficent says as she gets the corsage in place before making her way across Fay's dorm and opening the door, Fay tilts her head as she watches Maleficent stand in the doorway. "Why did you come through the window if you were just gonna leave through the door."

Maleficent processing what Fay said, she pursed her lips as she looked at the ground. "Good question, I have no clue."

She continued to look down as her cheeks became a soft pink color as she realized she wasn't acting like her usual self. "Well let's get going shall we?"

Maleficent quickly said as she made her exit and walked down the hall not waiting for her companions, Hades and Fay eventually followed after her as they walked together, Fay had a smile plastered on her face seeing how both of her lovers were just as nervous as she was. "Well Maleficent seems chipper tonight?"

She playfully says to Hades as they walk a few paces behind Maleficent, who isn't slowing down for anyone, as she is very embarrassed at the moment and doesn't want either of them to see her.

Hades lets a small smile appear on his face as he looks back and forth at his two girlfriends before leaning down so he's slightly at Fay's level and whispers to her. "She's just nervous to see you look, so pretty."

Hades then goes back to standing straight up before he walks ahead of Fay and starts walking at the same pace as Maleficent. Both VK's are equally as bashful now, Fay lets out a small giggle as she jogs over to the two and stands next to Maleficent and shyly grabs her arm, Maleficent peeks over at Fay before turning her head forward. "You look lovely too, Mali."

The group finally makes it to the ballroom, but Fay falls back a little as they get closer as they see more of their fellow classmates Hades and Maleficent being the observationists that they are turned around and looked at Fay with confusion, Maleficent approaches her first and puts a hand on Fay's hand. "You're not ready, are you?"

Maleficent asked as she stepped a little closer to the nervous fairy, who shook her head while looking at the floor. "I know both of you are, but I'm not, I'm sorry."

Fay whispered out as she stared at the ground. She knew if she looked at them, the tears that'd formed in her eyes would come spilling out.

"We don't have to tell anyone. Later, we can go into the garden, just the three of us."

Hades walked over and put his hand on Fay's shoulder while she gave a small nod before looking up at the two and gently dabbing away her tearful eyes, Maleficent gave her a side hug before quickly pulling away so nobody would see. "We'll see you soon?"

Maleficent asked as she stared at Fay, but before Fay could answer, she felt an odd chill run down her back before she felt like she was floating, she couldn't hear what Hades and Maleficent said as she disappeared in thin air, but then she felt an odd weight on her lap, looking down she saw Ella sobbing. "I can't believe not anymore."

Then Fay became fully there, as she felt Ella's tears soak through her dress, and the weight of her head fully on her lap, she gently placed her in Ella's hair and combed through it. "There's nothing left to believe in nothing."

Ella said bitterly through sobs as she cried into the fabric, completely unaware that Fay had manifested seemingly out of nowhere, Fay gently fixed Ella's hair and began to speak softly to her. "Nothing, Ella, now you don't really mean that."

Ella shook her head as she continued to cry. "Oh, but I do."

Fay looked down at her with sorrow and hope. "Nonsense! Ella, if you'd lost all your faith, I couldn't be here, and here I am."

Ella sat up as she looked up at Fay with blotch makeup, tearful eyes, and a pitiful expression, Fay gave her a sweet smile as she touched her cheeks. "Oh, come now, dry those tears. You can't go to the ball looking like that."

She looked down as tears continued to trial down her cheeks. "The ball, oh, but I'm not."

Fay firmly put her hands on her hips and gave her a stern look. "Oh, but of course you are, but we'll have to hurry because even miracles take a little time."

Ella whispered out. "Miracles?"

Fay made a sound in an agreement. "Watch."

She looked at her empty hand in confusion and began to pat down her dress clearly on the search for something. "Now where in the world did I put that magic wand, I was sure, that's strange."

Fay put a finger under her chin in thought as she wondered where she put her wand, and then her eyes lit up. "Oh, that's right, I put it away."

She put her pointer and thumb together and made a straight line in thin air, her wand appearing as she went along, somewhere in a little bush rustling can be heard. "Look what she did! How'd she do it!"

The little critters asked and looked at Fay in wonder as they watched her tap her magic wand before twirling it around and singing. "I'd say the first thing we need is a pumpkin."

She pointed her wand in the direction of the field, and a light shined on one pumpkin that was carried over by sparkles that the wand had created. "A pumpkin?"

Ella asked in confusion as she watched the pumpkin float over to where they were standing as Fay continued to sing. "Now, um, the magic words, right, Ahem!"

She cleared her throat and tapped the wand against her hand. "Sala-Gadoola-Menchika-Boo-La-Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo."

Fay sang as she she twirled her wand, which made the vines on the pumpkin extend and twirl in a wheel like shape. "Put 'em together, and what have you got? Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"

Fay continues to twirl around and shape the pumpkin as she sang. "Sala-Gadoola-Menchika-Boo-La-Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!"

Fay leaned close to Ella with a smile and sang. "It'll do magic, believe it or not, Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo."

Then, the pumpkin itself began to expand as Fay sang on. "Now Sala-Gadoola means Menchika-Boolaroo, but the thingamabob that does the job is Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo."

She explained as she continued to sing, waving her wand, as sparkles surrounded the wand, and the pumpkin slowly became a silver color as it got bigger and bigger, and finally a silver carriage emerged as Fay finished waving her wand, Ella put her hands over her mouth as she walked around it and admired it, then the little mice ran over around the wheels. "Oh! Looky, looky! Isn't it wonder-fee, isn't it, right!"

The mice chattered on as they looked in awe of Fay, who truly was a fairy godmother in this moment, then Ella turned to Fay with a big smile plastered on her face. "Oh, it's beautiful"

Fay nodded as the rest of the animals surrounded the carriage, including a horse, a dog, and mice. "Yes, it is. Isn't it now an elegant coach like that? Of course, we'll simply have to have, mice!"

The mice looked at one another before Gus Gus said. "Uh, uh, mice?"

Fay giggled a she wove her wand around. "Oh, this really is nice. Why, we'll have a coach and four when we're through."

Fay began to sing again as she waved her wand back and forth. "Just a wave of my stick, and to finish the trick, Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"

The horse next to her neighed as if in shock that mice would lead the carriage three of the mice then took on the form of horses, Fay looked around a little confused. "Now gracious, what did I do? I was sure there were four, there should be one more?"

Meanwhile, a little mouse hides in close to the wheel of the carriage, and then Fay points her wand to that area, lighting it up. "Oh, there you are."

Gus Gus runs off in the opposite direction only to run into Lucifer the cat and run back to where Fay and the others were. "Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"

Fay sang, making the little mouse turn into a beautiful pure, white stallion, Lucifer was now on his back, looking around, confused as it should have been a mouse that he'd caught, Gus Gus neighed at Lucifer making him jump from his back and into the water fountain before running back to the Tremaine residence, Ella put her hand over her mouth as she giggled. "Oh, poor Lucifer."

Fay smiled as she looked at Ella. "Serves him right, I'd say."

Fay looks at the four horses lined up with the carriage as she puts a finger under her chin. "Now, where were we, oh goodness yes."

She waves her wand around as she looks around from the carriage to Ella, thinking of what else is missing. "Now you can't go to the ball without uh, a horse!"

Ella gave Fay a confused look because they'd already had four, five if you included the horse that was already a horse. "Another one?"

A wave of sparkles made its way towards the horse as Fay flicked her wand around. "But tonight, for a change, you will handle the reins and sit in the drivers seat too, for instead of a horse, you're the coachmen, of course."

"Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo." .Fay sang as she watched the sparkles lift the horse and bring it into a sitting position as it was carried from the ground and to sit onto the carriage seat before being bounced a little, as the sparkly magic disappeared a man was left in place of the horse.

They watched a he tipped his hat to the girls while tugging the reins, Fay smiles as she looks around, seeing what else is missing. "Well, that does it, I guess, expect for, oh yes!"

She quickly begins waving her wand, singing, and looking around. "Oh, yes, the finishing touch, and that's you, yes Bruno, that's right, but you'll be footman tonight!"

"Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"

Sparkles leave her magic wand and surround Bruno, morphing him from dog to man, a footman, while Ella, was shocked because she could've been sure it was her turn to be fixed by Fay for the night.

Bruno runs over and opens the door while Fay then turns her attention to Ella. "Well, well, hop in, Ella, we can't waste time."

Ella looks down nervously as she looks at her tattered up dress. "But."

Fay waved her arms and shook her head firmly before turning around with a proud smile as she crossed her arms. "Now, now, now don't try to thank me."

Ella smiled and shook her head as she leaned forward towards the fairy. "Oh, I wasn't, I mean, I do, but don't you think my dress?"

Fay turned around quickly as she smiled sweetly at Ella. "Yes, it's lovely, dear, love- good heavens, Ella, you can't go in that!"

Fay pursed her lips as she realized what kind of state Ella's dress was truly in, as it was ripped, tattered, and falling apart, Fay circled around her and put a finger under her chin before her eyes lit up, she stepped closer and began to do measurements with her hands. "Now, let's see Ella, your size, and the shade of your eyes, something simple, but daring too."

Fay let out a little gasp as she picture what dress she'd make for Ella, as she waved and flicked her wand and sang. "Just leave it to me, and what a gown this will be."

Fay excitedly moved her wand up and down and sang. "Bibbidi-bobbidi-, Bibbidi-bobbidi-, Boo!"

She watched as the sparkles left her wand, circling Ella, as slowly the once tattered up ruined dress slowly turned from the ground up into a lovely pearl baby blue, the skirt was wide and had a slight train, the shoulder sleeves ever so slightly puffed out, matching gloves adorned her hands, a sutble black choker appeared upon her neck, as small pearl earrings shined on her ears, and her hair was in a beautiful bun, that was pulled back by a beautiful periwinkle headband.

Ella gasped, and she looked down at herself, fanning out the skirt with her hands, as she walked towards the fountain. "Oh, it's a beautiful dress!"

She looked into the water of the fountain and preened. "Did you ever see such a beautiful dress?"

She then twirled and watched as the dress sparkled as if the fabric was stars sowen together, and then she kicked her foot out and giggled. "And look glass slippers."

She said as she then continued to stare in amazement at her reflection, Fay smiled at her friends reaction to her work, but then her smile slightly smalled as she realized she'd have to explain how her wand magic worked, but Ella continued as she approached Fay. "Why it's a dream come true, a wonderful dream come true."

She then spinned around as she continued to swoon over the outfit, but then Fay piped up. "Yes, my dear, but like all dreams, well I'm afraid this can't last forever, you'll have only till midnight and then."

Ella twirled around and smiled so brightly that the sun would be jealous as she said. "Midnight? Oh, thank you."

Fay frantically started to explain more thoroughly, so Ella would truly understand how little time she truly had as she tapped her wand against her hand. "Oh. Now, now, now, just a minute, you must understand, Ella, on the stroke of twelve, the spell will be broken, and everything will be as it was before."

She said somberly as she looked at Ella, quickly making her way over carefully, picking up the skirt of her dress so it wouldn't get messy, as she approached Fay. "Oh, I understand, but it's more than I ever hoped for."

Ella hugged Fay tightly as she poured every bit of her gratitude she had for the fairy into the embrace, Fay wrapped her arms gently around the girls' shoulders as she let a small smile play across her face, before she quickly pulled back and ushered Ella towards the carriage. "Goodness me, it's getting late. Hurry up, dear. The ball can't wait, have a good time, dance, be gay, now off you go your on your way!"

As the carriage headed off, Fay waved her wand at Ella, who waved her hand at her. Finally, once the carriage was out of view, Fay felt a warmth in her chest as she felt as if she was floating, not registering the cat who'd come back, and as she finally regained consciousness of her surroundings she realized it wasn't just Maleficent and Hades standing around where she had originally been, but also Morgie, Hook, and Uliana.

She watched as Maleficent might as well have been having a mild panic attack as she paced back and forth. "People don't just disappear out of no where, I need my staff now!"

Meanwhile, Hades was a red fiery ball who was standing off to the side with his arms crossed as he swayed back and forth, snapping his fingers as he tapped his foot. "Look, as long as I know she isn't dead, then we know nothing bad has happened to her."

He tried to reason with Maleficent as she continued to pace and let out quick, uneven breaths before pausing and looking at the ground as she put her hands over her face, Fay stared at the scene unsure of what to do as she'd never seen the two so emotional before, when her eyes flickered to the other three her eyes met with Hook's who gave her a smirk as he looked back at the two nervous wrecks that were Hades and Maleficent, he then whistled loudly to gain their attention. "X, marks the spot, I've found your little treasure chest."

Hook pointed his hook to behind the two, who slowly turned their heads to see Fay. They immediately ran toward and grabbed her shoulders, Maleficent checked her over to see if she was hurt anywhere while Hades held her place while Maleficent ranted. "You're never leaving my sight again. Why would you pull that crazy stunt!"

Fay tried not to laugh at Maleficent's over the top reaction to her disappearing, so she simply wrapped her arms around the dark fairy's shoulders and pat her her back, as she spoke softly. "I'm alright, I was with Ella."

"But how?" .Maleficent pulls back and gives her a strange look along with Hades and all the other VK's, Uliana then asks. "How were you with Ella?"

She said with crossed arms with her head tilted, Hook and Morgie also gave her confused looks, letting out a soft sigh. Fay turned to explain to the group of four VK's while Maleficent basically was leeched onto her. "Well, you see, I was sent to her, I guess you could say, and now I'm her fairy godmother."

Fay explained as she waited till the carriage pulled up. She quickly separated herself from the group of VK's, two of which were still staring daggers into her still coming down from their moment of panic.

When Ella stepped out of the carriage, all eyes were on her, and soon Fay went over to her as Bridget rushed from somewhere in the crowd over to Ella and Fay as she squealed. "You look gorgeous Ella!"

She excitedly grabbed Ella's gloved hands as she bounced up and down while Fay watched the two. She gave a subtle wink to Ella and put a finger to her lip, while Ella came up with a different story. "Thank you this gown was my mother's."

Ella said as she hugged the pink haired girl. Before giving Fay a little smile, the three then walked around and took in the ballroom all of its decorations, the people, the snack table, and the dance floor, but after a while people began to slow dance, Fay and Bridget stepped back as Charming came up to Ella and held his hand out to her with a charming smile. "May I have this dance Ella?"

Ella looked back at the two girls, who nodded frantically at her to dance with him, so she turned back around, giving him a shy smile as he spinned her around a certain song began to play. "Mm, mm, so this is love, mm, so this is love, so this is what makes life divine, I'm alglow and now I know."

As the two danced together, they seemed lost in each other, so much so Ella didn't notice when the group of VK's approached her very naive, and overly trusting friend.

Fay had walked off to go grab a drink, leaving Bridget to watch the two dance, so with her being all alone, it was the perfect time for a certain group of VK's to cause chaos, Uliana approached with a plate with one cupcake with pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles, she smiled at the pink haired girl and said. "You know I think we started off on the wrong foot, so I made this for you."

Her group smiled while some snickered as Bridget smiled and nodded, and said. "Oh yeah, totally, but it's alright!"

She carefully took the plate and lifted the cupcake to her lips as she took a bite. She smiled at the group before she felt a weird feeling coarse through her body. She was very confused as she looked back up at Uliana and the group of VK's who were all smirking at her. She then let out a scream as she felt her body shift and take a different form, it was at this moment Fay had finally came back her eyes widening at what she was met with as she dropped her cup making glass shatter everywhere making the VK's turn there heads to look at her.

Hades and Maleficent eyes widened when they saw Fay, as a realization hit them that they wouldn't be able to explain themselves, they watched as she hurried over to the hunched over Bridget and helped her stand before backing away when she saw that the once beautiful princess was in the form of a green old hag, her mouth dropped her eyes filled with sorrow, as her friend pushed past her ran out of the ball, many guests all stared before bursting out on laughter all the while Ella was dancing away now in the garden unaware of what was transpiring indoors, meanwhile Fay turned her head to look at the VK's before sprinting in the direction Bridget went while two VK's followed closely behind her, when they made it to the hallway, Maleficent gently grabbed her arm spinning her around.

"Look, it's not what you think, I can explain, Fay, please." .Fay had no idea what to say to the dark fairy who was rambling, but she pursed her lips and glared at the two as she slowly spoke. "How could you, my friend? How could you do this to someone I care about, i don't know what to say to either of you"

She said before turning around and racing back after Bridget, leaving behind two heart striken villains who had no idea how to process what Fay had just said to them.

Once Fay finally caught up with Bridget, she took her wand out, waving it around and carefully said. "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!"

She watched as the sparkles left her wand and surrounded her devastated friend who was sobbing, and then the sparkles vanished around, leaving behind the once joyful princess, Bridget looked up at Fay with a look of pain that slowly bled to anger. "Get out!"

Fay shook her head as she tried to approach Bridget, but Bridget yelled again. "Get out! Get out! I'm not dumb I saw how they looked at you. How could you, after how they treated me!"

Unsure of what to say, Fay softly shook her head as she looked at the ground while Bridget continued to yell. "Don't lie! How can you stand there and shake your head when it's plain as day what's going on with you and those baron basterds!"

"I never want to see you or Ella again!" .The princess declared before slamming the doors to her dorm in Fay's face, leaving the fairy in tears and unsure of what to do.

And so a very broken hearted fairy went back to her door slowly as it felt like her legs were made of cement. When she finally made it inside, she didn't stop the tears from streaming down her face as she took off her beautiful dress, putting on a random outfit, and took her hair down from the bun she'd put it in for the ball, before laying down on her bed staring at the ceiling with a hopeless feeling left in her chest as she whispered out. "No matter how your heart is grieving if you keep on believing a dream that you wish will come true."

___________________________________________

Hello! Hope you liked the second to final chapter of their good fairy. Stay tuned for chapter four!

Remember, go show some love to my co-founder @giveityourworst. They just posted their first MFH story, and it was amazing to check them out, and send them a big thank you for being one of the main reasons this ship exists now!

Tagged list: @giveityourworst, and @brokenmilkcrates!

Anyway till the next story! Ba bye!

[farmerbebop]

The sun was shining too bright for me to be worrying about my deadline so I guess I'll use this rare occasion to make a pinned post.

When I started blorbo posting it was simply because "If even I, who knows next to nothing about British and American TV series, can see that Patrick McGoohan was criminally underrated, then maybe this blog has a reason to exist."

The only thing I ever learned about blorbo posting is from the Columbo fandom. They have fun, and they love their blorbo. As the kids say: Love and peace on planet earth.

But McGoohan is a challenge and will never stop being one. His public image, both in front and behind of the camera, isn't that of someone who would be pleased with blorbo posting. I don't know how other blorbo bloggers feel, but I just wish I can hold a conversation with my blorbo that doesn't bore him to death or anger him to the point of throwing me out of the room.

Judging someone who talked about his nervous breakdown like it was just a cold isn't something I like to do, especially online. So if I have to talk about McGoohan, I always get quite nervous. I can only say that I regret we didn't get to know him as much as we would like to and I really wish he was still here with us.

I know many of the decisions he made, he made it for future generations. It's my privilege to say that my blorbo's gift to the three-year-old running this blog has been her greatest pride as a blorbo blogger. And her hardest and most honourable task is not to mess it up.

I actually didn't create this blog to please McGoohan (the ladies can testify to that, lol). And I think I make fun of him more than I should. But I hope he knows that life as a blorbo blogger isn't easy when your blorbo is Patrick McGoohan and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be too hard on me.

And just in case anyone is wondering what the hell I'm doing on here, here's a short guide to my blog.

my stupid vid My McGoohan fancams are what I personally consider the funniest part of my blog. But they can be somewhat serious too, I think.

my lousy photoshopping This can mean just about anything. McGoohan as The Little Prince. McGoohan in Ingmar Bergman's films. Anything that I made with photoshop. So I have some more tags to categorize it.

mcgoohan at the museum What I love to do the most in photoshop is putting McGoohan into paintings. I don't know why. Maybe because it easily hides my lousy photoshopping skills. Or maybe because my blorbo is as beautiful as a painting.

mcgoohan album covers What can I say? “But you don't really care for music, do you?”

mcgoohan fashion Let's be honest, don't you love a beautiful blorbo?

mcgoohan posters I sometimes try not to misinterpret McGoohan's works, I don't know if I succeed though.

no context mcgoohan Mostly just McGoohan sitting or standing somewhere. But I love it nonetheless.

mcgoohan for kids and mcgoohan anime Well, it's exactly what you would expect it to be.

mcgoohan arthouse One day I'll retire from blorbo posting and go back to watching arthouse films.

mcgoohan stickers They are not as cute as cat or bunny stickers, but they stick all right.

the prisoner redux or anything redux means my lousy photoshopping for that particular series/movie. But when there are so many McGoohans in one post I get tired of tagging and I just give up.

I think that's enough of my lousy photoshopping.

wild mcgoohan in his natural habitat McGoohan as God intended him. Trying to not give away too much information in interviews.

mcgoohan lore McGoohan in someone else's words, including his daughter's. Needless to say, my words should not be trusted. You'll know them when you see them.

my gif McGoohan gifs, mostly for losing tumblr polls. Also for making this blog popular with the ladies on here.

village poetry If there's one thing that McGoohan might like about this blog, this is probably it.

village soundcloud Blorbos and song lyrics go hand in hand - Tumblr proverb.

mcgoogoo and me Just me rambling about my McGoohan dreams and my hard life as a blorbo blogger.

my lousy shitposting It has something to do with McGoohan I'm afraid. But it's fun.

I know this blog has become quite predictable and it's filled with half of my life's story. But if McGoohan was really who I think he was, that would be the least of his problems with my blog.

And finally, my hiatus is a running joke that I'm getting worse at, I hope.