#also my friend edited this picture so be nice xx

[hibiscusbabyboy]

His Sweetheart

[noowayybroo]

Snowed In - Yeti!M!Leon x GN!Reader (NSFW)

Merry LATE Chrimmy guys!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!!! (yeah... that went well) guys the fic is very long so I MARKED THE SMUT IN BLUE JUST SCROLL FOR IT

I was brainrotting with my best friend EVER and I came up with a terrible terrible thing (You're welcome) so hear me out, you're camping out in the snow, looking for, idk, self torture, and suddenly you catch the eye of a certain Yeti...

Long story short, he rescues you... eventually, and warms you up inside! I wanted to make this GN because although I am an F who LOVES F fics, I thought it'd be nice for y'all not Fs out there! I'll try keep it short so there's more chance of me finishing it! EDIT: IT's VERY LONG, JUST LIKE HIM!!!

THIS IS INSPIRED BY THE BRAINROTTINGLY NSFW GAME CLOUD MEADOW WHICH I HAVENT PLAYED BUT I WANT TO PLAY!! iN THE GAME THERE'S A CUTE YETI GUY AND HE LOOKS LIKE LEON A BIT, NO?!???!??!!?

guys I tried to edit this like 2000 times and every fucking time tumblr deleted my edit I am going insane but I pulled through for YOU! (eventually)

Honestly guys i'm not happy with this one it by far isn't my best work so read at your own peril. What I really want is for people to love the idea, not the fic, you know?? xx Pls do something with it if you like it! <3

Characters: GN!Reader, Yeti! Monster!Leon Kennedy

Warnings: NSFW, mentions of penetration, kissing, licking, cuddling etc, cumming iinside toooo, Reader is GN for inclusivity, and I've described the sex as P-in-Hole lol. He fucks you and you imagine where ig. !! Leon is kinda monstrous and not too human, and also in the start he kinda wrecks ur camp and scares the shit outta u so if it'll trigger pls dont read. Leon isn't monstrous he;s just big, furry and a bit primal. Kinda switchy / sub leon so at the start he lets you push him around n then he rails u v hard sooo uhhgjjj and also u have no condom dont be so naughty!!! NOT PROOF READ THERE WILL BE ISSUES OK BUT i CANNAE BE ASKED SORRY

Stay safe n happy this Winter!

"Just picture it! The fresh air! All that snow!" A naive relative tells you, patting you firmly on the shoulder. You stare down blankly at the brochure in your hands, all about a family getaway to a ski resort in some snowy, far off mountains. You didn't doubt them when they told you it'd be a good family exercise, but all you wanted to bond with was your warm bed and all the other things you had to do.

Only a week later, there you were. The sigh you let out dispersed into a cloud of white vapour before your eyes, leaving you to gaze upon your surroundings. Before you sat the exact sight from the brochure you held only a week ago, and it was beautiful. Crisp snow crunched beneath each trudging step, snow-tipped pines line each iced hill and valley as far as your eye could see. No longer mere inky blotches on thick paper - the wind howled past, whistling through each tree, and sending shivers up your over-clothed spine.

You learn the hard way that you won't even have a warm cabin and hearth to laze by during your chilly nights as you follow your family to pick up the camping gear they would be renting. You supposed it'd save money, but at what cost? Pneumonia?

And as you're all setting up camp, you can't help recall being at home wrapped up in your warm covers and revelling in the endless wonders of your Tumblr "for you" page. You also can't help feeling as though you're being... watched, and not by fellow campers in their tents.

"There's nothing out here but adorable rodents and birds!" your guide would exclaim for the fourth time now, in a screech which rivalled that of any of the feathered friends he'd referred to. He means to reassure you, and whilst you'd love to trust what he says with his years of experience in mind, you can't help but doubt him.

Eventually, night falls, and after a good few hours around a make-shift campfire sipping hot drinks of your choice, you and your family finally resign to bed. It's freezing, and despite your warmest sleeping-bag and thickest pyjamas, your teeth chatter and your body shakes. But you're convinced to fall asleep. The sooner you do, the sooner the cold fades away. So, eventually, amidst the wind battering your tent, and night-time ambience, you drift off.

You wake with a start, surprisingly warm, but quickly realise you're alone. Oh no. That's terrifying. After trying (and failing) for a good while to get signal (ever the priority (maybe this is too self-insert)), you crawl out of your tent. The sun hangs high in the sky. You were out for a while. Your sigh of relief must be audible once you find a scrawled note pinned to the makeshift seating surrounding your lit campfire.

"Good morning Sleepyhead!" It reads, and you can tell by the writing exactly who wrote it.

"We didn't want to wake you up so we've gone to get some food! Be back soon! xxx"

Well, at least you knew they couldn't be far away. You're not at all ready for the cold winds that begin to gnaw at your skin again so, groggily, you crawl back into your tent. You stretch, get back into your cocoon, and try once more to get signal.

He'd been watching you for a while now. He watched all the humans at the ski resort as they went about their festive holidays, completely unaware of his presence and he wouldn't have it any other way. Once like you, Leon was just like any other man, or government agent. That was until he encountered a strange virus on one of his missions. Years ago now, the virus caused him to significantly grow in size. He became taller and slightly buffer, and began to grow white fur on most of his body. His hair also became white.

Amused, Leon referred to it as the Y-virus (Y for Yeti) to anyone who'd listen, but, afraid of any negative side effects and any testing, hid away in some distant mountains. If you'd see his face, anyone who knew him might recognise him, and he dared not admit it to anyone, but he enjoyed being free, living off of wild animals and things. That, and, any snacks he could pilfer from unattended camps. He enjoyed his tranquil life, but grew to hate the years of loneliness he'd subjected himself to. As time went on, however, Leon slowly forgot what it was like to interact with other humans. And then, he forgot how to speak well too.

He watched as humans had their holidays, and spent time with friends and family. He was content in the knowledge that you were all happy, and, once the people cleared off, he'd investigate the area to see how far humans were developing, and whether he was still in the papers.

He'd been watching your camp too, and he was certain you'd all left. This was his chance to investigate.

You've been laying on your makeshift bed for a few minutes now when suddenly, you make out the soft sound of trudging through snow towards your tent. The footsteps are slow, but you chalk that up to any exhaustion a human would experience after facing the monster of a hill your tent was precariously placed upon. At first, you think it could be family, until you realise there's only one set of steps. It was probably someone on their way to wherever they were going. Nothing concerning you.

The sound approaches though, each footfall sounding loud, heavy and far apart. You'd think they were just walking slowly, if not for the speed at which the volume of each step increases. Before you know it, a large shadow almost eclipses your tent. A male figure. A tall one at that, and he seems to be about to walk straight through your camp.

Bit unnecessary...

Except he doesn't. The man just stops outside your tent. He looks around a bit. Maybe he needs some help, you think. Groaning quietly, you crawl out of bed, and peep through the unzipped door of your tent-

Tall. Really, really tall. At least 6ft. And you're staring right at his ass. And he doesn't... have clothes on.

Before you stands, quite proudly, something you can only describe as a yeti. He's covered from head to toe in thick, soft white fur. He's broad, muscular, and his waist forms a sharp V as it reaches his hips. Even through his glossy, well kept coat, the definition of each muscle and delicious shoulder blade catches your eye. You're terrified, hoping it's just some sort of elaborate cosplay to scare people. There's definitely space for someone to be hiding inside that... realistic suit. Ducking into your tent, you continue to observe with only one eye peeking from the tent, hoping you won't be noticed.

The man begins to look around, two catlike ears upon his head are perked as he scans his surroundings and eventually, he looks in your direction. He's far too tall to even register you while his eyes are at their level, but oh boy do you register him. You drink in his form, and, as he turns, his face. He's chiselled, certainly a sight for the sorest of eyes. His face is simply the cutest, softest almost feline looking one, and his jaw juts out as he analyses his surroundings thoughtfully.

You know how Leon looks, so I don't need to go into detail about the way his piercing blue eyes reflect the sun, shining through his silver fringe. I don't need to describe to you how his fluffy bangs sway dramatically as he looks around, or how he playfully blows a soft puff of breath upwards to clear some stray hair from his eyes.

Fortunately for you, I also don't need to tell you that he doesn't see you. He seems almost in a trance, stepping around carefully, analysing the tents and each miscellaneous object littered around. It seems as though he's checking up on things- the quality of them, the materials they're made of. He seems curious.

And then you see it, a small burst of flame at his right ankle. He's stepped too close to the fire pit. The yeti lets out a startled grunt, jumping into the air like a petrified cat. His hair bristles and stands on end as he tries to stand one legged in the snow, trying to bury his leg to put it out.

Then he loses his balance, the gargantuan man stumbling forward before suffering an untimely meeting with the guy line of a nearby tent. He yelps, trips, and with a loud thud and a few pings, lands face first in the snow right outside your tent. His collision with the strings holding up your tent sends them pinging out of the soft snow, and suddenly, your tent collapses around you, trapping you in.

Even in weak flails, he'd managed to tear his claws through another tent. You were terrified. What if he saw you?

In his clumsy efforts, the man had thrown quite a large amount of snow into your tent, and you gradually become colder, damper and more panicked as the freezing wet fabric of the tent pins you down. Scared to move, you only shiver as you completely hide inside now, not wanting the abomination outside to find you. You'd seen enough now to be certain that wasn't a costume. He was too... real.

You hear frantic fumbling and crunches of snow as the man outside extinguishes the last of his afflictions. His breaths are heavy, and gradually slow to a calming rate. And, after a while of sitting there still, perhaps shocked, he works up the courage to gaze around at the tents he's toppled. When his eyes at last land on your entirely ruined one, his heart sinks straight to his gut. His shoulder slump and he just stares in your direction, guilty being an understatement. Maybe if he just stares at the tent for a little longer, everything will undo itself, he seems to think, ogling your direction as his mouth hangs open.

Instead, it draws his attention to your shivering form beneath the soaked fabric. He swallows thickly, eyes widening and pupils narrowing.

"Fuck..." he groans meekly, muscles tensing in anticipation before stumbling to his feet. He kicks snow as he makes a series of small, unsure steps towards the tent. Then, in a flurry of inevitable motion, he crouches and throws what's left of your tent off of you. And just like that, with a yelp, your prison of a disguise is torn from you, exposing your skin to the cool, dry air. You shiver, duck away and curl further into a ball. Some small part of you prays for this to be just a nightmare, but the rest of you knows it's very real.

As soon as you hit hit his eyes, Leon falters. He leans back in surprise and his brows furrow in pity and regret. He could tear you apart so easily, and he'd just proved it. Sniffing the air a little, eventually he moves in, reaching out to you with large, clawed hands. He's almost pouting at you, eyes narrowed in concentration as he moves in. All you can do is hold your breath. You ball yourself up tighter. You have no idea how you'll survive this - you're past the point of playing dead. All you can do is stare up at him, silently pleading for mercy.

His hands are warm where they touch you. They're large too - large enough to almost encompass each of your upper arms in their soft grip. He just stays there for a while, gently holding your arms as they shiver. His gaze is locked on them as he focuses, gently adjusting the force at which he holds you, rhythmically squeezing you a little, just to get a feel. His tongue darts out in his focus, and after a while, his eyes are back on yours.

You wondered when your family would be back. You wondered if they could even save you. And then it hit you. You wondered if they'd never be back.

Gently, Leon pries your arms away from your face where you'd shielded yourself so desperately. When I say gentle, well, to him it was. He barely had to exert any force to bend you to his will. You were like putty to him. He could easily overpower you, and he didn't dwell on whether it was down to sheer strength or your fear.

Emotionless eyes scan you up and down a few times, ultimately resting on your face once more as a slow hand wipes your clinging hair from your forehead. Then, he reaches out again. Large clawed hands find purchase under each of your arms. They slide in easily as you comply, not wishing to enrage him. He hoists you up with ease, save a small grunt. Next thing you know, he's standing and you're held at arm's distance from him like a cat. He peers up at you, smiling for the first time. He chuffs, hot breath landing on your face; he seems proud of his catch.

Terrified and uncomfortable, you continue to shake in his grip. All you can do is stare at him pleadingly, and even if you had the willpower, you doubted you could escape him. Your clothes are soaked through now, and if you had to thank him for anything, it would be for warming your arms and not killing you... yet. His blues stalk you through his silvery fringe, and after sniffing your air a few times, he sighs and pulls you in.

You're terrified. You can't look. You squeeze your eyes shut. What if he eats you?? You couldn't even begin to picture it, but after a few seconds of being pressed against his warm body, a gentle caress of your thigh coerces you to open your legs a little to allow him space between them. He grunts, wrapping your legs around his waist and carrying you more supportively now, like a child.

Buried in his chest, you can't see the small awkward smile he gives you, or the look of relief he sends your way as you seem to warm up to him (literally.) Through small rubs and caresses up your back and where he holds you by your thighs, he slowly rubs his warmth into you. Mind so frazzled by fear, all you can really do is let him hold you. You shiver occasionally, afraid of what he may do to you, but otherwise remain still. You don't want to get on his bad side.

After a while of peace, he gently places a finger below your chin, and guides your face up to meet his. He leans in, nuzzles your cheek a little with his nose, and takes a deep breath in. He lingers on you for a while - eyes closing in either bliss or contemplation, before walking once more. He scowls at the firepit as he passes it, beginning to carry you off in the direction he came in.

Where was he taking you? You go a little rigid, now realising you're being abducted. You panic, and it manifests in small squirms, trying to ball yourself up again and push away, levering yourself away from the yeti. You strain against him, and your small noises of fear and exertion perk his ears. He glances down at you tenderly, ceasing his stride to raise a gentle finger to your teary eyes. He swallows thickly and puffs out another deep breath, thinking for a while. He's not at all sure what to do, and doesn't want to risk failing to speak of his own accord, so instead just bounces you softly like a father cradling a child.

You feel warm and cared for, and become distracted wondering if he can actually understand you. However, your surrender was enough compliance for him to continue walking, and he carries on carting you off to goodness knows where. You wouldn't know this, but in truth, Leon was so confused. He hadn't come face to face with a human in years, nevermind one who was so brittle and terrified of him. Somehow, after all these years, he still imagined himself to be the hero, not the monster.

He hadn't intended to face you. He didn't mean to destroy your tent, or to plunge you into the freezing cold... What he'd meant to do was leave you there, before any of that could happen. He'd felt guilty. He wouldn't let his actions affect you and your sweet holiday so negatively. It was decided for him, he was sure he was helping you. He was going to fix things, and warm you up.

The cold and fear had left you weak. You sit in his arms, limp, knowing you couldn't get away even if you'd tried. The gentle rock of his body against yours as he powers through the snow soothes you. His warmth and strong scent clouds your judgement. Before very long, you find yourself snuggling into him somewhat as you watch your camp grow further and further away through tired eyes. He squeezes you gently as he feels you sink into him. One hand rubs up and down your back soothingly. It was ironic, as your captor, how much reassurance Leon was trying to give you.

"C-can you understand me?" You whisper eventually, raising your head to gaze up at the large man's jaw. His ears twitch a little and then he hums. He peers down at you, thoughtfully.

"Hm.. yeah." His voice is gravelly, rough and deep. It's quiet though, like he doesn't use it much.

"You can?!" Your eyes widen and you pull away a little. Leon was becoming quite nervous now. He feared this moment. He didn't want to talk to you at all. He knew he'd fuck up. In response to your question, Leon smiles sheepishly, revealing his sharp teeth. You get straight to the point. "Where are you taking me?"

He frowns and peers down at you. "My... home?"

"Why??" you feel hopeless again. He seemed human enough to appeal to, but then again, you had no idea what he wanted with you.

"...It's warm here" he eventually mumbles as you notice your surroundings suddenly getting a little darker as he carries you into a cave. You'd been so entranced staring up at him, that you hadn't taken in your surroundings for a while. As you do, you notice several random objects lying around. Some looked natural and from the forest like pinecones, sticks and berries. Others seemed very human. Smartphones, newspapers... clothes.

Oh no. You were going to die here.

At least none of the belongings seemed to belong to you or your family... yet. That was still terrifying though. Where was all this stuff from? Some of it was even torn... That's it, you're getting out of here. With a newfound vigour, you begin to claw at his shoulder and back, climbing out of his arms. For a second, it works, until he catches on and wraps his burly hands around your waist, yanking you back down to where he has a good hold on you. He ducks down to look you in the eyes, almost pleading. "Not gonna hurt you." His voice is a soft hum now, claws prodding you as he holds you still.

Somehow, he comes across as quite trustworthy. You couldn't be scared of him just because he's big, not when he's so clumsy and cute. And certainly not when he holds you and watches you as if you were the most precious, sweet individual he'd encountered. It was hard to ignore him, too, with his smooth voice and handsome face, and the careful way he leans over you as he carries you deeper into his cave to shelter you from droplets of condensation.

"Can you please let me go?" you plead.

"I'll take you" he hums, missing the way your eyes widen in shock and confusion. He jostles you up a little to make sure you stay wrapped around his waist and no lower, before eventually laying you down on some soft-makeshift bedding. You're so far into the cave that most of the light from outside is gone. Nobody would find you now, even if they saw the small gas lamp Leon lit beside you. He's about to lay down right beside you when he realises, perhaps, it's not the right thing to do.

Sheepishly, he motions to a spot on his own bed beside you. "Can I?" You have no idea what to say, so, you nod. You were in his home, if you could even call it that, you weren't gonna anger him. You felt as though you needed to make friends with him if you planned on getting out of this alive. And so, as the large man slowly got onto his knees before laying down on his side beside you, it struck you just how "Beauty and the beast" this situation really was. He groaned a little and his joints creaked somewhat as he slowly got down, propping his head up with one hand as he watches you.

Huge was an understatement, and whilst he did have monstrous features and strength, he seemed like the type to at least give you a kind death should he want to eat you-

No, stop. Why are you thinking like that?

You shiver, replacing his amused hum with another thick swallow. His wide eyes scan you.

"Still cold." his lips tug disapprovingly as he watches you lay there, and when you nod, he wraps a blanket around you that he got from goodness knows where. His voice echoed in the small cave, even if he seemed to be whispering now. Leon didn't like causing you fear, but he also didn't like ruining your shelter and warmth, and so, he sought to provide those for you.

You lay there, facing him. Slow and heavy breaths continue to rush over your face, fanning you as he invades your personal space. Yet for some reason, you can't bring yourself to move away. Turning your head momentarily, you eye your camp in the distance. Maybe if you could just get up and run now, you could escape him. Maybe he'd be kind and let you go. You shake again, the cave only rescuing you from the wind, not the biting cold his body provided you shelter from only moments earlier.

Suddenly, his burly arms are back on you. They wrap around you and pull you close, leaving you no space but to open your legs a little for him to get in between. He blankets you in a weighted embrace, head rested in your neck, pressed intimately close. "You're still shivering" He murmurs, silently noticing how your hairs stand on end at his proximity and gravelly tones. You feel his soft fur against your face, between your fingers. You can almost hear his heartbeat.

It's at this point, reluctantly, that you start to allow your attraction to him to manifest. The signs had all been there before as you admired his figure and strength, and basked in his voice. But now, you had no way of escape. You might as well just give in and enjoy the ride. So, you relax against him, wrapping your leg around him again, and letting him give you all of the closeness he can.

Leon knows this is wrong. He, at heart, is still very human, and knows that he should have abandoned you about 20 minutes ago after he destroyed your tent. Heck, he shouldn't have even gone to investigate. But he couldn't fight how good this felt. He couldn't fight the slow boner he was developing as you snuggled up to him so innocently, and he couldn't help wondering what a relationship with a human would be like, after all these years.

He also cant help the small shocked whimper he makes when you move down a little to snuggle up closer to him, and not-so-accidentally press quite firmly against his little issue. His hands seize your waist, threatening to move you, but when you tense in protest, he groans and goes limp, wrapping them around you again. He falls under the impression that if he keeps still, and if he keeps you still, you won't know what's really going on.

It was difficult to keep your morbid curiosity at bay, about fucking a literal Yeti. It was also difficult to not get too attached to the soothing warmth of his shimmery fur and hot skin. His slow breaths and small smile had you in a sleepy trance. You could fall asleep like this and rest. It would be the warmest night you'd get out here, and in all honesty, this was all starting to feel like a nice, cuddly dream.

Too much so.

"What do you want from me?" You lean back to look into his eyes which shoot open. He seems sleepy too. Your presence comforting him more than you could ever know. He stammers a little.

"W.. N- Nothing." he pleads, leaning in to press his forehead to yours. He thinks for a long while, articulating his words. "Just wanna... keep you warm, n safe." he sighs. You're digesting his response when his eyes shoot open in terror as he feels his cock kick against you once. He loosens his grip. This was terrible. He was being selfish. Maybe he should take you home now.

"Are you gonna let me go back?? I have a family out there, please." You whimper, giving him the eyes. He can't say no, he never wanted to hold you hostage. He just wanted to make sure you were ok and-

"Are you warm now?" he huffs, looking down at you to gauge your expression. In all honesty, you were warm, physically and emotionally. He was cute, too cute, and you could tell that he cared. For the first time since you'd met, you almost felt sure that he would actually let you go. And so, you wanted to test him. You pretend to think for a while.

"mmm, no." you smile up at him.

"No??" He seems shocked, running his hands over you to check, nuzzling his nose against your face. "You feel so... warm" he chokes out, eyeing you worriedly. He presses his finger tips to your forehead "you ill?" he grumbles "Where?" His huge hand works its way up and down your body, pressing everywhere he can whilst still being decent, checking for warmth. Then, when he identifies that your leg is a little cool, he wraps his around it.

You stare up at him. The answer is very simple. "Inside." you hum. He short circuits. Leon stares down at you, a faint blush just becoming visible beneath the fur of his cheeks. Inside? What did that mean? How was he meant to warm you up there???

Oh.

Leon stares at you in shock. He swallows thickly, and you decide he's just not sure what you mean, so, you decide to be a little more genuine about it. "Look... I'm... I'm not even sure if this is real. But I've never seen anything like you before and I'm just curious." There's a stunned silence as he eyes you up and down, thinking to himself.

"If you don't want to- it's fine." He wanted to. Oh boy did he want to. He just wasn't sure if it'd be right. He never imagined this day would come. He never thought he'd be able to fuck someone ever again. Leon hums down at you.

"Really shouldn't." those words pop your balloon instantly. You pout at him, but you're willing to take his answer.

"Why not?"

"No condom..." he sighs "Unless you-"

"No."

You both lay there in silence for a while before he crumbles, head falling to reside in the crook of your neck once more. You can tell he's thinking about it- taking you in, soaking into you. He's not felt more content in years. Cuddling up to you, he croons before placing a chaste kiss to your throat.

...Maybe he does want it...

You cover his cheek with small kisses, and sneakily reposition yourself against his throbbing cock. He whines, bucks into you once, and buries his fanged mouth against your skin where he feverishly kisses, trying to hide his sounds. Leon couldn't even admit to himself, let alone you, how pent up he'd been, and now? He wouldn't at all be able to let this opportunity slide.

One of his hands roams your body, sliding down to grip your waist possessively, tugging you hard against him. Then he retreats, realising his mistake. You grab his hand and return it to where it was, earning a playful chuckle and another shy buck of his hips. He runs that hand up your body twice more, watching entranced by the way it glides over your hips and chest, before using it to cup your face. He makes you look up at him.

"You sure?" He's hesitant, a little shaky. You're both very aware that this could end terribly. He could crush you.

"Uhuh.." Just like that, your fate is sealed. He leans in, and pulls you close for a hungry kiss. Expected from a mythical creature, Leon was a walking antithesis: His physical size and strength made him dominant and scary, and yet each of his actions was soft, caring and calculated... and needy. He whines as your lips meet his searing ones. He was so cute, so pliable. You're sure he'd do anything you wanted at this point, and so, testing your luck, you gently grind against him.

He instantly reciprocates, moaning a little as he clutches you tightly. Leon's ears sit flat to his head as he ruts against you, eyes screwed shut, mouth willingly opening enough for you to use some tongue. You've been making out for what, 2 minutes? And the man is already panting, groaning, rock solid against you as he humps desperately. When you slow down on the tongue, he licks eagerly into your mouth too, and moves to pepper kisses and licks all over your cheeks and neck while you catch your breath.

He's so cute, practically begging for you with his mouth but no words come to his aid. Instead, all the gentle giant can do is stare down at you with pleading giant puppy eyes. You want to go further with him. Guiding his hand down towards your sex, you intrust him to ready you. And oh boy does he. He swallows thickly, eyes locking onto you as if you're some mission or target, and he begins to work on you, slowly at first. He groans, cock kicking against you as he licks his lips. Eyes closed tight, kissing you all over, he doesn't even notice you undressing your bottom half until he hears you shimmy the fabric down your legs.

But that's when you feel it too. His hard cock poking out from his coat, slowly drooling copious pearls of precum, smearing his fur. He ruts it against you, the force of his huge hips shoving you so hard that you wrap yourself around him again just to stay put. Suddenly, Leon picks up his pace on you just where it feels best, rubbing with more force and energy than before. Unbeknownst to you, he had a plan. You let out a moan, mouth open wide enough for him to suddenly jam two huge digits in there. It didn't hurt, he wouldn't hurt you, but for a second, you feared for your life.

Even half way in, his fingers had you gagging, choking and drooling. You got them nice and wet for him, and as thanks, they'd be going inside you. Replacing his fingers with his tongue again, he needily whimpers and whines into your mouth.

"Fuck, you're w.. g-great... You're great" he groans, toying with your entrance, eyes shut once more as he grinds into you. He's slow, he understands his fingers are huge, especially by the reaction he didn't mean to elicit from filling your mouth with them, and so, once he breaches you, one finger at a time, makes sure to go slowly. He tries a bit of everything, thrusting, curling them, scissoring you open, all gently until he thinks you can take more.

He fills you so perfectly, so deliciously with just his fingers alone, and he knows what to do even whilst kissing you all over, but you don't dwell on where he got the experience. Leon nibbles a little at your lobe, trapping it gently between his sharp fangs, and moves towards teasing other parts of your throat and shoulder in this way until you begin grinding against his fingers, chasing something more. You snapped out of it a little when you realised just how large his member was. Easily over 7, maybe 8 inches.

And now, he was lining it up with you, holding his breath as he lets it slip, teasing your entrance a few times. It was thick too. The whole thing was just pretty, and due to his strange skin colour, where it would be red and angry it was tinged with a soft purple.

The last thing you see before he stuffs you is his brows furrowed in concentration as he lines himself up. As soon as he slides in, you groan and buck from the stretch of just the first few inches. He shakes, he twitches a little, and he curls up to you, holding you oh-so-dearly. His hips buck shallowly a few times but ultimately he's patient, waiting for the go ahead until he can continue to slowly fill you up. A few shallow thrusts and he works his way deeper, then he gives you a minute or so before repeating.

As bottomed out as he can be, Leon begins a torturously slow pace. He watches closely for you reaction. He's wondering what you like, what you want from him. Eventually, he's groaning with each slow thrust, apparently more edging for him than you. He quickens his pace, leaning over you, propping himself up as he pounds into you a little roughly now. He barely pulls out, each slow roll against of his hips against your sex making you want to cry out.

It's having an affect on him too. Before long, Leon is groaning and growling with each thrust. He's on his knees, body forcing your legs up against your chest as he pile-drives into you. His head hangs by your ear, occasionally nipping and sucking at you, but for the most part, growling like a feral animal. He slows down a little before driving a series of hard, strong thrusts into you with merciless force. Snarling and snapping his jaws, each smack of his hips shifts your body across the bed until he has to grab your ankle to pull you back to him.

He knows you're close, but he wants this moment to last and he's sure you do too. His breath tickles your ear between breathless chuckles, his voice deep and sultry, "H..heh... you ever... ridden a yeti?" As soon as you shake your head no, he purrs. "You want to?"

You nod. He picks you up with ease, temporarily leaving you empty and collapses onto his back. He's quick to fill you to the brim once more as soon as he's comfortable. He groans and throws his head back as you slide down him. And then, lets you work your magic. He groans under you, arms folded behind his head to cushion himself. His eyes follow you, watching you almost predatorily as you bounce on him, and occasionally, his hips snap up to meet yours.

"Fuck, you know, you're so... gnnn... good at this" he whines, trying to force his eyes to stay open so he can watch you.

He bites his lip, bucking up to meet you as his hands reach out for you. They're huge. One feels your body, supporting you, the other holds your ass, guiding you up and down. He smirks, clearly about to make another comment, when you reach down caress his chest, digging your nails into his pecs as best you can. His head falls back and he lets out an almost roar. "Fucckkk" he hums, staring up at you.

You're close again, but you're getting tired. Luckily for you, he understands. Leon sits up, wrapping his huge arms around you. He snuggles into your neck, littering it with growls and kisses as his hips go wild, pistoning into you with a force somehow he hadn't used yet. You were amazed, for such a large man, how hard and fast he could rabbit into your hole. His breaths deep, laboured and lustful as he lost himself in you.

It wasn't long before you were cumming on his cock, gripping his fat length like a vice. He groans, plugging his mouth with your shoulder, but not biting hard. You know exactly what's coming as he adjusts his legs, thrusting hard, almost throwing you up into the air if it weren't for his arms pinning you down to him. His growls and groans shake your core, rutting up in a similar fashion a few times as he pumps you full of his seed. And then he collapses, falling back against his bed. He pants and blushes furiously.

A small grin litters his face, he looks like he's about to pass out as he lays there, eyes narrow and chest heaving. It takes him a while to come down, cock still throbbing and kicking inside you. With how tight you are around him, there's no chance you'll spill a drop before he pulls out.

"Mmmm, fuck" he hums contentedly, hips jostling you upwards a few more times as he carefully reaches up to hold your face. His hand dwarfs your head easily, and he smiles. He's hesitant as he strokes your face. He knows what he did was probably wrong, but it felt so good. It delights him when, as he gently pulls you towards him, you come readily, leaning down to meet his lips.

This kiss isn't hungry or greedy. It's needy and loving. It's an apology, and a thank you, all at once. And when you pull away, his eyes flutter open to gaze lovingly at you.

He sighs, realising his time is up. "Alright, Take you back now, as promised." You're not having it. Playfully, you roll your hips against his and sigh down at him. His cock is half soft inside you now, and still feels great. He stares up at you, confused, ears perked. "What's wrong? Why not?"

"I'm cold outside again..." you pout. He chuckles, leaning up to grab you in a tight hug before laying down once more, this time with you as his captive.

"Well then, allow me to warm you up again."

And that he did.

Eventually you returned to your camp. With Leon carrying you, that is. If he'd given you anything, it was a severe case of jelly-leg.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

guys I just awnna have a little rant at u rn I'm sorry this fic is late and not christmas and Im sorry but I tried to write n edit this like 3 times and each time tumblr deleted my fucking edit im so fucking mad I had internet and I saved it as a draft the works but tumblr was a penis grrrr also, also, the times I edited it like and wrote some I had such good ideas for jokes and puns and things and good writing and now because iM fed up all my good ideas have left me so sorry that this fic is shitty bye thanks for existing ily.

the fic is so long im sorryy i hope you like him

[look-at-the-soul]

The Photoshoot (Part 4)

Cillian Murphy x OC

Thank you for reading! I’d really love to know what you think :) Yes, I did my homework looking for old pictures haha

Edit: Credits for the Dean inspiration goes to @lyarr24

Taglist in comments.

More here

Some of the photographers that attended the workshop invited Yael to a pub nearby for a drink, of course she refused the invitation, but as she was about to get a cab, Dean, one of the guys in the group asked her out, he had brown hair, 6'1" tall, green eyes with a three-day beard and was wearing a dark t-shirt under an unbuttoned shirt and tight jeans, he looked like an American sexy farmer, strong muscles against the fabric, he was handsome but he wasn’t Cillian.

The other reason, was because she was honestly hoping to have something serious with Cillian. Yael didn’t like it to be fooling around, especially when it came to people’s feelings. She wouldn’t have Cillian by her side and then turn around and have someone else, she just wasn’t like that. She didn’t feel like having a backup guy just in case was right.

She hadn’t been asked out in a very long time, and now out of nowhere this guy did, she thanked him but made it clear she had to get home. He looked like a nice guy, but he seemed more like her friend Lee-Anne’s type, maybe she would make them match, set them up for a date. She would show her later the picture the group took to see if she was interested.

Plus Dean was a photographer, her first boyfriend was also a photographer and it didn’t end well, he made sure everything was a competition instead of taking it as a reason to grow together, he always got jealous of the projects she got and even made her quit some of them so he could take them. It was Vassilis the one who made her open her eyes after the scarecrow photoshoot, he noticed all the red flags and made sure she started noticing at her own pace, until eventually, they broke up.

With Cillian, things were flowing so naturally, without any pressure, he made her feel heard, showed interest in her work and was kind enough to even share things of his life on set, he was funny and humble, wasn’t trying to impress her. It felt as if they were longtime friends catching up. But with all the flirting going on between them, it felt more like a friendship set on fire.

Cillian was one of those people who wore their hearts in their sleeves, guarded of course, but once he felt comfortable with you, he was a totally open. And she wanted to know more about him.

In fact, she still could feel his lips against her, his hands around her waist and the way he caressed her cheeks while they were kissing. She had been daydreaming with his lips, she loved the way he smelled and the taste of coffee on his mouth.

She had shared texts with Cillian over the day, and it was everything, a little joke, a food recommendation, anything, every little detail that seemed to be small. But to her, it wasn’t. He had impressed her over the photos she took of him, so different from the scarecrow session they did together years ago. The last one showed him in a very natural way, no extreme posing, not pretending to be something he wasn’t, all the opposite, he had opened his heart and soul to her, he didn’t even need to speak, all it took was just one look from him.

Workshop done, can’t wait to have some rest. What about you? She pressed send.

Just finished a radio interview for promo, I’m on my way to a small birthday celebration with the cast. He replied right after.

Unsure about what to answer, she typed a reply, but seconds later, deleted the words. What should she write back?

Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I’m up for the pawty. His second answer came in shortly.

Maybe you will learn a few new tricks on how to pose from the puppies. Have fun.

Looking forward, text me 30 min before you arrive to pick you up x

Thank you, will do… I’m off for now x

Boring, maybe I will show you how to have fun xx

Yael smiled at the flirty text she got, she was blushing. And they were now sending kisses over the messages.

Her cousin Violet asked why was she smiling like that a couple of times, and each time, Yael tried to lie about the real reason behind her smile, it was really early to share any news, and besides, she wasn’t a big fan of sharing personal matters like it meant nothing.

They were really close, only eleven months of difference between the two of them and they were both the only girls of each family, so they grew up more like sisters.

“No but, really… is he a good man?” worry visible on her face.

Yael wrapped her arms around her cousin. “He is.”

“Good. He better.”

“Where’s Jan?” Violet and Jan were high school sweethearts and had been living together for five years now.

“Off to the lake with his mates fishing.”

“Oh, so you will be alone this weekend?” Yael took the plates to the table and sliced the pizza they had ordered.

“Thanks god for that, I needed a break.”

“You’ve been fighting again about the wedding?”

Her cousin explained to her the reason why they had to postpone and how they lost all the money they had already paid since all the suppliers decided not to make valid the deposit. They had a medical emergency, but the wedding suppliers said it wasn’t a valid excuse.

“At this point of my life, I would be happy to just sign the fucking papers.”

“Don’t say that, you will have the perfect day you deserve.”

“We already live together, fight like a married couple, I framed the pre-wedding pictures you took of us. What’s the difference anyway?” Perks of having a photographer in the family. “Don’t answer that, I need you to bring your plus one to my wedding.”

“Take it easy bug, we’ve just met. I don’t want my brothers to scare him.”

“Well this new discovery is making wonders in you, I can tell.”

“It was his smile you know? As soon as I saw him smile… I thought that was the most genuine and beautiful smile I have ever seen, it even reached his eyes.”

“Holly fuck, you are falling deeply for this man.”

***

Later that night, her cellphone rang, without taking a look at the screen, she answered.

“Hello?”

“Been thinking of you all fucking day.”

She froze, must have the wrong number as she didn’t know that voice.

“I kissed you yesterday and you forgot me already?” Cillian’s voice calmed her.

“Of course not… What’s with your voice? You sound different.” She got comfortable in bed, the phone between her shoulder and her face.

“Ah, that… I was reading some lines for tomorrow’s scenes, the accent got stuck.” He laughed now in his normal voice.

“Brummie?”

“Yeah, I’m glad you recognize it, it means it’s not that bad.”

“It sounds so… deep, impressive.”

“So, you’re impressed huh?” He did the Tommy’s voice again.

“Ugh don’t do that to me.” She closed her eyes, imagining his face. The effect the sound of his deep voice in her hear was something she wasn’t ready for.

His laugh in his regular voice had the same effect in her.

“What are you doing this late still reading the script anyway?” She tried to change the subject.

“Well there’s one line I need to figure out how to get the perfect tone, the pauses… I just needed to take a break from it and wanted to hear your voice.”

The way he was so dedicated to his job, how his attention went to every little detail on the script in order to step over the line, the compromise he poured into this project made her admiration for him grow.

It was late and he was still working, so focused on perfecting the body language, the movements of his head, the glances and stares he needed to bring the gangster alive.

She could tell that by the things he was telling her. And it was easy to picture him like that.

“You are going to smash it, I’m just sure.”

The myth of this Thomas Shelby was slowly growing in the back of her mind.

***

Since Yael told her she would see the mysterious man who was making her happy today, Violet convinced her to wear a one shoulder floral top she owned, very ad-hoc with the spring season.

“Now I will straighten your hair.”

“No, why?” Yael complained.

“Because… I want him to see you prettier than you are and not with that messy hair.” Violet teased.

“But…”

Violet placed her palm over her cousin’s mouth. “Shut up, you will thank me later.”

“I don’t like it straight straight.” Violet rolled her eyes and assured Yael she would make some beachy waves, messy like she liked.

****

“I will go to visit you unannounced one day to see the man who is making you smile like that. Sex must be good.”

“Shut up. Love you.” She hugged and waved good bye after that.

As she waited, Yael decided to text Cillian.

Just got on the tube, will arrive around 10:30, photoshoot with the puppies is at 3:00 pm. X

She checked her phone, but still no reply, until around twenty minutes later.

I’m caught up filming, my driver will pick you up. x

Don’t worry, just wanted to let you know, I will get a cab to go home.x

Absolutely not. I will be calmer if he drives you. Have to go.xx

She decided she would sleep for a while, since she stayed up late catching up with Violet. Haven’t seen each other since Christmas when the whole family got together.

“Mr. Murphy asked me to take you home.”

“Thank you so much James, I didn’t want to bother him or you.”

The man opened the back door for her. “It’s my pleasure ma’am.”

On the way home, James told her he had been driving Cillian since 2013, when they filmed the first season and he required James services again since January.

“He is very humble.” James admitted. “I did notice he was different this morning but couldn’t quite figure why… now I know why.” He drove Cillian to the photoshoot the day they met, but then told him he could leave, that’s why Cillian drove to her apartment as they finished their photo session.

A shy smile appeared in her lips she didn’t know how to handle the situation, on one side James was really polite, and she wouldn’t treat him different because he was a driver, she treated the janitor with the same respect she showed to the CEO, but she didn’t know if she could be sharing information she shouldn’t.

“Absolutely, he’s really kind.”

“He gave me tickets for the premier last season.”

“And did you have a good time there? I have never been to a premier.”

“Oh, yes, yes… he even came to say hello to my family.”

Yael smiled at that, she remembered how he shook everybody’s hands at the photo session.

“Now that the filming is about to finish, if you need anyone to drive you, let me know.” He handed her a card with his number.

Once they arrived to her apartment she thanked him again and texted Cillian to tell him she was home. Cillian called her right away.

“Hey, why don’t you get your things ready and ask James to drive you here, we could go to your work once I’m done.”

“Let me see if he is still here.” Yael went back to the street, fortunately, he was about to drive away when he noticed her.

“Do you need something ma’am?”

“Cillian says if you could drive me to the location where he is?”

“Yes, of course.”

Yael smiled at him. “Thank you, I will just get my things really quick.”

“Great. See you in a bit then.” He told her after hearing James.

Hanging up, she hurried to get her camera, and mobil lamp, she wouldn’t use the flash with the dogs because sometimes, they get scared.

She was nervous to see him again. Another hour later, they were arriving at the entrance of the West Gorton’s Space Studios, a guard gave Yael a pass and asked for her information, then James drove to the back of the building.

“Mr. Murphy suggested you could wait in his trailer, follow me please.”

As she was following James by foot to another area, she could see people walking around, carrying carts with clothes hanging, moving furniture…

“His wha-”

“Thank you, James, I’ll take it from here.” A deep voice said behind them. She recognized immediately, but when she turned around, she found a different man in front of her. Cillian was dressed in a three-piece suit, long coat covering him, a flat cap in his hand. The hair seemed shorter on the sides of his head. She was surprised. “Do I look as bad as your face is telling me?” he joked. A smirk on his lips. “Yeah I missed you so fucking much too.” His voice sounded different too like the night before, even his walk seemed different.

Yael closed her mouth while Cillian placed a hand on the small of her back to guide her around.

“No, not bad sorry I just… you look so different from when we had breakfast. But I do love the gangster look.”

“Thank you, I was starting to feel self-conscious.”Cillian smiled. “You look beautiful, stunning actually.” Every time she moved her head, he would sense a soft smell of roses coming from her hair.

Surprised, she couldn’t find her voice, but when she looked at him, he was already looking at her.

Violet 1- 0 Yael. She would have to thank her later.

“I showed the writer and director of the show the pictures you took and they want to know if you would be interested to make some shoots.”

Yael stopped walking, shock showing in her face.

“Looks like you saw a ghost.” He smiled, his hand rubbing her arm up and down.

“Oh my, what happened to your cheek? Does it hurt?” Yael asked shocked.

Cillian laughed so hard, easing the tension and breaking away from Tommy finally.

“Come here, I will show you.” Guiding her inside of a room full of wires, pilled chairs and other artifacts, he closed the door and turning her around, pinned against the door to kiss her lightly on the lips. “Been waiting all day to do that.”

He tasted like herbs and mint.

“You look so attractive with this suit.”

Pulling him by the neck, she kissed him one more time.

“But I wouldn’t change that white t-shirt and jacket look.” She rubbed her hands over the fabric of his suit.

“It’s a makeup cut for the show.” He explained with a wide smile, taking a look outside again to make sure no one was passing by. “So, you want to take the pictures?”

“I do! But I didn’t bring my flash.”

“Come this way.”

He introduced Yael to Steve Knight, told her he was the writer of the show, and then Colm McCarthy, who was the director, they both complimented the shoots she did.

“I think my wife still hates me for losing a bid on one of your photographs, a ballerina if I remember correctly, it was an auction to raise money for the people affected by a hurricane, right?” Steve knew her work.

“You have to be joking, I will get you a copy, the complete series if you want.”

Cillian kept sneakly touching her every time he found a chance and when she looked at him, he was looking to the opposite side, as if he did nothing. But eventually they managed to get a few shots of Cillian on set, explaining her part of the idea and how important this place was in the series. James Wright had been talking on the phone with Steve and Colm about using the photos for promo in the magazine.

“Let me change and get rid of this, please make yourself at home, there’s water and snacks in the fridge.” Cillian said as he made his way in the back of his trailer.

Taking one of the spots on the leather lounge, she looked around, it was neat and organized, a pile of books in the corner, a bag of chips on the counter, a notebook and a pen over there, a laptop charging in the corner. She felt out of place, like intruding into his personal life.

He appeared back wearing a black and white striped shirt, black jeans and boots, and the Sox baseball cap on his head. Unplugging the laptop, he kept it in a backpack.

“Are you done filming?”

Cillian turned around to see her, the cut on his cheek was gone and his face clean from the makeup, freckles showing.

“Yeah done for today and I have free tomorrow. Let’s go.”

“This is impressive, you do all the filming here?”

“No, some parts are in real locations, my favorite are the ones when we film on an open field, those places are breathtaking, you would love that, the mountains it’s all green, fresh air, very natural.”

She helped him hang his clothes and when she found the pocket watch she stared at it intensely.

“This is… I don’t even know what word to use. Incredible, perhaps?”

“Yeah, the production team goes beyond the expectations, everything looks so real.” He looked at her, eyes still on the watch. “You really liked it huh?”

“I just remember some pictures I took a long time ago of some war letters and different artifacts found of soldiers. This really looks like that.”

“How did you get your hands on that?” They shared a glance and a smile.

“Well they were digitalizing the letters and I was in charge to take the pictures of the lost items the museum had, there was a heavy energy over that. Can you imagine all of the stories of those soldiers?”

“Not really, but I do want to see those pictures later.”

He just needed to return the wardrobe to the team and he would be free to go.

But before they left the trailer, he asked her: “Will you be editing the photographs again?”

“No, I have more time to edit for this shoot.”

Cillian touched her lips with his thumb, outlining them. “You will then have the best dinner tonight, I’m cooking.” He held her by the chin and pulled her gently for another kiss.

“That sounds promising.”

“You think you know, but you have no idea.”

[deadlymodern]

Hi, I love your decade challenge and just wanna let you know I binge read Norman Legacy from the beginning yesterday, lol. I absolutely love your sims style 🥺🥺 and I'm curious abt something, do you use any height slider? Also if I may ask, how do you set up townies or extras for a scene? Ty, ily 💞

Oh hi! Thank you so much, that made me smile! I’m happy you’re enjoying it! c:

Okay, here we go!

I used to use height sliders/presets, mostly for children and teenagers because I’d use poses with height difference for adults. I had this height slider (+ some other presets from them, I recommend checking the whole blog out and see what you like) and these body presets for kids and toddlers.

But a while ago I started making all my story poses. And, for that, I’ve made a rig for most of my main characters set with their actual heights + a little height study/reference thing with them and their ages (because some heights will change over time).

Yes, I’ve added an extra N to Sue’s name because I discovered Susana is the Portuguese/Spanish spelling. And I thought I’d have known....

So, whenever I’m posing them, I just grab their rig and the height difference is already there. If I’m feeling lazy, I edit the height on other people’s poses so it will be tailor made for them c:

Now, for posing extras...

As far as I know, there are two 'methods’ to approach the nightmare that is shooting scenes with extras:

A) GREEN SCREEN & COMPOSITION

This method consists in shooting your main subject separately, removing the background and composing from scratch OR shooting extras separately and adding them to a picture (or both). It’s quite good because you can tailor the scene with more precision and, of course, have a controlled environment.

@captainmrbored is really skilled when it comes to making scenes this way, so, if that’s a ‘method’ that interests you, I suggest checking some of his tips here.

and

B) SAY A PRAYER & POWER THROUGH

This conventional way consists on having townies as your extras. If you are a masochist like most simmers, you’ll have 20/30 sims on your lot for balls, banquets, protests, wars, whatever.

I will not lie to you: unless you are using deco sims instead of townies, this method is chaotic. But it’s doable! And if you are not very skilled with Photoshop and editing in general, such as yours truly, this is the way to go. 

Here is what it looks like in my game:

It’s not that bad. It’s just a bit stressful because Sims will snap out of their position now and then, so you’ll have to pose your 20 extras again and again and again and ag--

The T.O.O.L. mod is my best friend on scenes like this because it allows you to move already posed sims w/o making them snap.

Also, here is a little “trick”. 

Sometimes, you simply can’t pose 30, 40, 50 sims. It’s too just much.. So, you gotta do some cinematic tricks. If you have a wide angle or if you have visible gaps between sims, it’s easier to notice that you don’t actually have a lot of people in the scene.

So, don’t be afraid of scrolling that mouse wheel and zooming in. Personally, it does make a difference and helps with the suspension of disbelief.

(Btw, their heights are not accurate in these last shots because I just used random poses to make a point!)

Obviously, these are just my personal preferences and things that help me shoot scenes! There is never one single valid way of visually telling stories, so try out many things until you find a method that works for you and what your scenes demand!

Some other things that I do while shooting with extras:

1) Make establishing shots that show how full the set is. This way, I can focus on my main subjects without too many sims around them because “it is already established that the place is packed”.

2) Be mindful of my subject’s position on the frame and how I’ll fill in the gaps.

3) Depth of field. Can be achieved with Reshade and/or editing.

Also, also! I’m no pro. So these examples also have some of the things I said to avoid lmao. But I’m still learning and practice makes perfect, I supppose? I dunno, someone told me that when I was 5 and I felt fooled.

Okay, phew!

I’m sorry this got so long but I hope this answers all of your questions! 

Thank you again for the sweet comment and I hope I can keep up making nice story content xx

[thirteenandten]

hello, do you have any tips for writing in English when you're not a native English speaker? Do you write in English from the start? Love your writing, btw!

Well hi! This was a very nice anon to receive, I'm honoured! And thank you for the compliment <3

So first let me start reminding you that writing in a language that it's not your own is super difficult, because it's not just diferent words and structures, but a whole different way of thinking and understanding the world. So please be gentle and patient with yourself while you do it!

Yes, the stories that I intend to publish in English are written in English from the start. Ever since I started writing my fics in English I took this approach and tbh I think it’s the best one. I reccommend it big time because you surely will write more complex or ellaborate stuff in your native language and then it'll be very difficult/frustrating to try and take that into English. Don't worry if your first stories in English are a bit rough, you'll get better with time! Practice here is key.

You can find the tips under the cut because I’m wordy as hell so it turned out super long.

- When English is not working for you like, I suggest writing down a little summary in your own language of what you want to write for later. Not the actual thing but what you want to tell. The ideas will probably come easier in your native language and then when English is working again, you can go back to it without losing your ideas.

-This one may be obvious but READ A LOT IN ENGLISH. I would especially suggest books written in English by English speakers. But of course, everything helps, including fics. And while you do that, try to stop and pay attention to the language. When something really works for you (a dialogue, a description, a feeling) pause, go back to the words, and notice how it was done. I've been doing this "active reading" lately and it has helped me a lot.

-Similar to the one above: expose yourself to a lot of English. Tumblr is okay but also go and watch videos of native English speakers. Listen to songs in English and take the time to look for the lyrics and think about them. When a word sounds interesting but you are not certain of the menaing, look it up! Even if you don't remember the words exactly for later, the little research will help you either way. Watch movies and series and pay attention to the language and how people talk. That'll also help you to incorporate phrases, jokes and sayings that people use in everyday life. Just expose yourself to English as much as you can and have your writer brain open and attentive!

-Going more into the writing process, those lists of different ways of saying words, or words for different moods or situations are fantastic. Just always remember to check for the word precise meaning and usage before putting anything in your work.

-I highly recommend Thesaurus. It's great for looking for alternative to words (always checking meaning and usage!), but also sometimes you know there's this word that reminds you of this other that would fit perfectly in your text and you just can’t remember the actual word you want. In those desperate moments, I go to Thesaurus, search the word I do remember, and more often than not, I arrive to the one I actually wanted (or sometimes, to another great word I hadn’t thought about!)

-Using a Collocations Dictionary literally saves your life (? I learnt about these dictionaries during uni and I loved them so much I bought a physical one which saved me many times while writing essays. Basically it gives you the prepositions, adjectives, adverbs, whatever that most usually “collocate” (go with) the word you’re looking for.

-Check for spelling whenever you are not certain you are writing a word correctly. And I mean putting the word straight on the Google search bar. If you got a letter (or several) wrong, Google will help you.

-Google combinations of words between quotation marks (”word”) to see if they are actually used by English speakers. I can’t come up with anything better right now, but for example, “seat belt” in Spanish is “cinturón de seguridad” and you could translate that literally to “security belt”. If for some reason I wasn’t sure of which of these combinations the acceptable, I could google each phrase between quotations marks and see the number of results. Usually, the option with more results is the one that is most commonly used and that will be understood more easily. For example, “security belt” throws 316k results, while “seat belt” throws 57million results. 

-Use Google Images to look for specific vocabulary you can’t remember or simply don’t know. “Kitchen appliances names”, “parts of a book names”, “parts of the body names” “clothing names”. You’ll get charts with pictures and names and it’ll make your life ten times easier, I promise.

-Decide if you are writing in British or American English... or if you don't care lol. The most sensible thing to do is to pick one, but if you are writing just for fun, you might as well accept that you’ll have inconsistencies in that matter and let it be. If you do choose one English variant though, google the most common differences in spelling AND I highly suggest running Word’s spellcheck after setting the language to the English variant you’re using.

-Needless to say, writing blogs are your friends. They are full of resources, some even specially thought for non native English speakers.

-In general I would say that googling stuff is an excellent strategy when you have doubts: verb conjugations, one words vs the other, anything about English grammar, etc.

-If you feel comfortable with it, getting a Beta reader who is an English native speaker is super great. A Beta reader in general would be fine because someone else may notice a mistake you overlooked (God knows how many "ringed" instead of "rang" I've posted in my life). Also a trusted friend giving a second read can help. Or you reading out loud, if it's not a very long thing, can help you identify if there's something off.

-Be gentle with yourself! You'll make mistakes! You will even post them! My fics, old and recent always have at least one mistake no matter how much I check them. That's fine! You can go and edit them or leave it, and I promise people won't get mad at you (if they do let me know and I'll virtually punch them).

-Finally, practice, practice, practice!

I hope this very long answer is somewhat useful! And do let me know if I can help you with anything else.

Much love xx

[shipsforeveryone]

Hi there! Can I have some ships please? You are awesome for doing this! With Atla, GoT, Harry Potter, MCU, OUAT, parks and rec, star wars, and Hobbit please? With ask out scenario?(for any of them, which ever you feel most inspired by!)

I'm a straight female (so male ships pls)

MBTI: ISFJ and INFJ (I constantly switch between the 2/the S and N are always pretty much even)

Enneagram: 6w7 and 4w3(i know i know you are only suppose to have 1 but i swear I’m both lol)

House: Slytherpuff (I got both the first time on pottermore and it made me chose one, and every quiz I take anywhere always gives me a dif house each time 😅), and Thunderbird

Love language: Def physical touch, but I'm often too scared to initiate it. But hugs and cuddling are my fav things ever. Also giving and receiving gifts and words of affirmation

Personality: I'm kind of an oxymoron in general, like I'm super duper shy but extremely bubbly and energetic when I do talk. I'm get like super passionate about things and excited about everything and accidently get too loud sometimes. Or, when it comes to school and work I dont talk at all. Really bad with starting conversations and thinking of things to say.

Can be super awkward but like I think cute awkward? Super innocent. I'm annoyingly empathetic, often over little things like someone getting their feelings hurt. Extroverted introvert, I like to be included and go out and LOVE adventures and taking chances but I NEED my alone time to recharge. I can go go go but then i will need a week completely alone.

I get super intimated by guys, especially ones I like/think are cute, hence really the only guy friends I have are gay. I get left out a lot but also create fun for myself and not afraid to go to places alone and have a great time. Always worried about being rejected as I have dad abandonment issues and dance world rejection because of a minor disability(mild cerebral palsy on one side), but sometimes Im so worried about being liked that it becomes a self filming prophecy, I also think everyone always hates me secretly.

I have tons of ambition and passion and am super sweet. Can always find a positive in any situation. I can be super over sensitive tho. I can be super intense sometimes and steam roll but it's because I'm super passionate. I get excited about any and everything. Both a kid at heart and an old soul

Hobbies/interests: Musical theater (cant sing to save my life tho opps), Video editing, dancing, animals (always say I'm gonna die cause of an animal attack cause I want and try to approach and pet every animal I see 🤣), superheros, disney and disney world(worked there as a photographer), history and museums(I love old artifacts and places), traveling and going on adventures, redemption arcs 🤣

Thanks so much and sorry this was so long!

Of course, babe! So I just kinda wanted to input, you can ignore me if you want, but your description of yourself sounds more like an INFP/ENFP than an IxFJ. I would suggest looking up the cognitive functions of each type. To me, you read as a dominant or auxiliary Fi. Also, you may be tritype 469.

I’ll jump to the ships, feel free to ignore that first bit! xx

Avatar: The Last Airebender

OTP - Zuko. I can just see the two of you going to theater performances together. (Though avoiding The Ember Island Players)

BrOTP - Katara

NOTP - Toph

Game of Thrones

OTP - Jon Snow. 

BrOTP - Samwell Tarly

NOTP - Jaime Lannister

Harry Potter

OTP - Cedric Diggory

BrOTP - Neville Longbottom

NOTP - Percy Weasley

Once Upon A Time

OTP - Graham / The Huntsman. There is a lot of common ground between you. Up to and including your love of animals. He’d find you extremely honorable and would completely admire you.

BrOTP - Snow White / Mary Margaret Blanchard

NOTP - Emma Swan

Parks and Recreation

OTP - Andy Dwyer. As much as I love Andy and April, I think I might even ship you with Andy more. There’s so much in common, albeit Andy is even more extroverted. So I think you’d be a great balance for each other.

BrOTP - Chris Traeger. Although I think it’s fair to say, pretty much anyone could be BrOTP with Chris. 

NOTP - Tom Haverford

Star Wars

OTP - Luke Skywalker

BrOTP - Is it cheating to say R2? If so then Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

NOTP - Anakin Skywalker

The Hobbit

OTP - Bilbo Baggins. You’re both safety-seeking types that are also adventurous. So I can easily picture you both running off on adventures together and then going back to Bag End when you’re both socially drained and curling up together with a nice cup of tea.

Asking Out - I think the rest of the Company would have to play matchmaker between the two of you. You’re both too shy to approach the other about your feelings. One night, Kili gets impatient and tricks you into admitting your feelings for Bilbo, not knowing that Bilbo is within earshot. So when you stop by a village the next day, Bilbo asks you if you’d like to have a picnic with him. 

BrOTP - Kili. He’d bring you out of your shell and would respect your need to be alone sometimes. Plus he’d be the main matchmaker between you and Bilbo.

NOTP - Dwalin. He may be my favorite grump but that’s what he is. An impatient grump.

[picturebookmakers]

ATAK

In this post, ATAK talks about his fascinating creation process and he shares illustrations and development work from some of his wonderful books – including sketchbook pages for his forthcoming picturebook ‘Piraten im Garten’, which is due to be published in 2020.

Visit ATAK’s website

ATAK: My process is like hip-hop. Mixing and sampling.

I have a big box where I put material that I’ve found on the street or in magazines. Then in the summer, when I’m sitting in the summer house, I stick everything into sketchbooks.

These are important books for me. I often use them when I’m looking for an idea. I like to make connections between this and that.

Sometimes I steal things. Here’s an example of where I used a painting by Caspar David Friedrich in one of my images. This is a very important painting for the German culture; it’s romantic. It’s the first painting that’s like a window. You see with him and you’re led into the picture.

‘Wanderer above the Sea of Fog’, Caspar David Friedrich, 1818.

When I take something to use in my own work, it’s more about the idea of composition and atmosphere. It’s not just a reference that people will know.

This is the sketchbook for my picturebook ‘Topsy Turvy World’. The publisher asked me for a book for children, and as I was tired of working with long texts, I thought this one should be a wordless book, where the images tell the whole story.

We have a German tradition from the 18th century of ‘bilderbogen’. This is like the origin of comics. They’re one-page stories. I was looking at some of these and I found some interesting ideas for ‘Topsy Turvy World’.

Here are some pages from the sketchbook.

Not everything made it into the final book; some of it was too heavy for my publisher, so he kicked it out. The smoking people had to go, otherwise we couldn’t have sold the rights in America.

Then there was a problem... My sketches had a lot of life and were fully-worked, so to transform them into the final artwork was very hard. After the rough version, I had this feeling that I was already finished with the book. Making the final ‘clean’ artwork felt like a kind of discipline.

My original paintings are always much bigger than they appear in the books. I never work to the correct size or format.

I often sell my paintings, but here is one I’ll never sell. It was done for the first children’s book I made, called ‘Comment la mort est revenue à la vie’ (How death came back to life), written by Muriel Bloch and published by Thierry Magnier.

It’s an important painting for me. I came from the comic world – black and white graphics – where I would draw out the whole scenes with all the details. In the middle of working on this painting, I had to go out to buy some food, and then I came back and thought, “Oh, it’s enough.” There’s a big difference when you work with colour. It’s like a sound, like a kind of music. This painting was very important for me in understanding colour.

Before I start working on an image, I often have a rough idea of what’s going to happen in the scene, but I leave a lot of space for other things to come in... And when I’ve started to work, I might see something in my studio or in a book, and it goes into the image.

I like this open process. And I like to be surprised. It’s very important for me that I don’t know in the beginning exactly what’s going to happen.

My way of painting is very old school. Traditional. Sometimes I paint over the top of something and you can see the trace of it behind. You can’t really fake things like this on the computer. For me, my original artwork is more important than the finished book. I once had an interesting discussion about this with Blexbolex. It’s completely the opposite for him: he sees his books as being the original artwork.

After ‘Topsy Turvy World’, I made a book called ‘The Garden’.

The original German edition was almost like a book for bourgeoise women... But for the French edition, they reimagined it for kids. It’s much bigger; you can really go inside. And the French publisher asked me to make some flaps to open up on the pages, which were not there in the original edition.

The sketches for ‘The Garden’ are almost nothing. It was very important that I didn’t repeat the process of ‘Topsy Turvy World’, where the sketches were very close to the finished artwork. I couldn’t work like this again. So the sketches here are very loose, but I knew exactly what was supposed to be in the pictures.

Working like this, you must have a very strong relationship with the publisher – one of absolute trust. I also have big problems with deadlines; I’m always late. With this book, my publisher Antje Kunstmann was so good. She phoned me every morning: “Hallo, here is Antje!” It was so important to know she was there, almost like a mother. It was a similar story with Wolf Erlbruch and his book ‘Duck, Death and the Tulip’. He was working for four years on this book. In the end, Antje came to his home and was waiting on his sofa for two days to take the last drawing!

The latest children’s book I made is called ‘Martha’.

I started working on it after reading an article in National Geographic about the passenger pigeon. I was fascinated. Because it’s a real story, it was not easy for me to make this book. It’s easier when I’m given a text because I have more distance.

Again, I worked very loosely in my sketchbook. These sketches are just indications – so I know something is here or somebody is there. It does help me that things are more open.

I don’t have sketchbooks where I draw from reality. I’m not good at this. You’ll never find me sitting in a crowd, making sketches. I watch and I observe instead. And I have books where I write ideas or note down interesting forms and shapes that I see.

Here are some pictures from ‘Martha’.

And here’s an idea for the dust jacket, where the kids could cut and draw on the paper, and make origami out of it to give a kind of rebirth. Martha is gone, but maybe she’s not gone if the kids could bring her back. The publisher didn’t go for this idea.

I went to art school but never finished. Just after the Berlin Wall came down, I was studying visual communication. There wasn’t a good atmosphere at my art school. I wanted to find like-minded people and work as a team, but it felt like most of the students were only interested in being artists, but not in working together. Then my daughter was born, and I never finished art school.

I’m now teaching art as a professor. The other teachers have diplomas, and I feel like I’ve come from the working class. I do like intellectual work, but when I work with students, I want to see something. I can only talk about what I see. I need it very visual. It has to catch me.

From when I was nine years old, I wanted to be an illustrator. In east Germany, illustration was a part of publishing. All the novels had illustration. It’s still unique now to see this, but in east Germany it was normal... So my plan was always to be an illustrator. This way I could wake up when I wanted, have no boss, listen to my music all day, and make my own work.

Speaking of music... The type of music I listen to when I work depends on the specifics of the book. For example, I made a book for Nobrow called ‘Ada’ (from a word portrait by Gertrude Stein). The idea for the artwork was to make handmade pixels, so I listened to a lot of electronic music; ping–ping–ping! It’s about energies. And for me, the music is also very important because I travel a lot and it can be hard to come back to your work – but when I listen to the music, immediately I’m back in the project, in the zone. It’s all connected – the music with the book.

Here’s my playlist for ‘Martha’.

Distortions – Clinic Go – Sparklehorse & The Flaming Lips VCR – The XX Song For A Warrior – Swans Avril 14th – Aphex Twin Quiet Music – Nico Muhly First Song For B – Devendra Banhart Last Song For B – Devendra Banhart How Can You Mend A Broken Heart? – Al Green Ash Black Veil – Apparat I Know They Say – Spectrum Opus 55 – Dustin O’Halloran Lost Fur – Karen O & The Kids Unfinished Business – The Go-Betweens Sometimes – My Bloody Valentine Lies – Sin Fang Bous Debussy: Suite Bergamasque, L 75 - Clair De Lune – Alexis Weissenberg Nimrod (Adagio) – David Hirschfelder Atmosphere – Joy Division Still Life – Elliot Goldenthal The Lake – Antony & The Jonhsons Flying Birds – RZA

I used to make hardcore comics with friends. This was our first, which we made before the wall came down. My work has changed completely. I can’t understand this now; it’s like another man made it! And they are not funny. It’s a very small humour; you really have to look for it.

Then, after my daughter was born, I did my own comic series called ‘Wondertüte’. In the comic scene, everybody told me that this wasn’t a comic. But for me, it was totally a comic. I liked the comic medium, but I didn’t see why there had to be only one way. From all my old comics, this is the one I like the most.

The idea comes from the ‘learn English’ books we had in school. It’s a bit like a poem, but with a more open structure. I think my older work was very closed, and this comic is where it really started to open up. I made it for me, not for the mainstream. I got no money for it. But you could find it in kiosks. Somebody told me he saw it in a kiosk in a very small village. He said it was very important to see this comic displayed in-between all the nice, fancy stuff... My audience is not many people, but they are passionate.

I don’t really consider myself as a children’s book illustrator; it’s not like this. But it gives me a lot more freedom. Some of my friends find themselves working on one comic for years! I respect this, but for me that’s like a jail. With comics, you have to take such care with narration. You go from one panel to the next panel to the next... The comic medium is a question of time. In a children’s book, the reader looks at one page for perhaps two minutes or ten minutes. They go deep inside. It’s a completely different work. Also in a children’s book you have a stage; it’s really like theatre.

I also think it’s very important in children’s books that you read the book again and again. You read a comic maybe once and then you kick it out or you give it to somebody. But a children’s book is like a ritual between parents and kids.

This is a cover version of the German classic book ‘Der Struwwelpeter’.

The stories here are new and full of humour. I made this book with Fil (Philip Tägert). It was after ‘Topsy Turvy World’, and for me it was so important that I could be free with the pictures. The publisher said make what you want. And it felt so good.

There are hundreds of different versions of ‘Der Struwwelpeter’. As with the ‘bilderbogen’, this was like the beginning of comic stories.

I once found an old version of the book from Denmark with an extra chapter. They didn’t trust all that dark stuff and they made up new stories. So in our cover version, we had this idea to make one chapter where literally nothing happens! We tried to make it as boring as possible, with the pictures saying exactly the same thing as the words. It was so hard to make a boring illustration! It’s really not easy!

My new book will be published next year. It’s for my little son; he’s three years old. You could see it as a connection between ‘Topsy Turvy World’ and ‘The Garden’. It’s called ‘Pirates in the Garden’. The German title is ‘Piraten im Garten’, so the title is like a poem; you hear it and you don’t forget it. I like this title very much.

This book will will be very simple, a bit like Sesame Street. One word on each page, so you make associations between the word and the image, and the parents can talk about it with their kids.

I’m working in the sketchbook at the moment, and I want to make the sketches really good. For ‘The Garden’ and ‘Martha’, I kept the sketches really open. But for this one, no. I know this is going to be my last book for children. And it’s for my son, so I’m going to make it special. In the future, perhaps I’ll make art books in small editions, more paintings, stuff like this, but not books in a commercial way again.

When I made ‘Martha’, I was thinking, “who needs this?” It wasn’t mainstream and I was so confused. It’s different from when someone asks me to make a cover or a painting; I’m never thinking about who needs this. But this was different. Sometimes you just don’t know if what you’re doing is important or not. So I was kind of depressed working on that book. This is the main reason it took me such a long time.

I sometimes feel very alone working as a children’s book illustrator in Germany. My style is not at all mainstream and I always just made my books for fun. It was never a big passion of mine to make children’s books for my whole life. But I always liked the roots.

So for my final children’s book, ‘Piraten im Garten’, I will make it for myself and for my son.

Illustrations © ATAK. Post edited by dPICTUS.

Buy this picturebook

Verrueckte Welt / Topsy Turvy World

ATAK

Jacoby & Stuart, Germany, 2009

A fantastical picturebook where mice chase cats, penguins live in the jungle, and cars fly! There’s few things that children enjoy more than catching grown-ups telling fibs. Discarding what’s obviously wrong is how they find out what’s right.

It’s a time-honoured children’s game; ATAK’s just given it a new twist, using lots of classic tall stories, and adding a few new ones as well.

German: Jacoby & Stuart

English: Flying Eye Books

French: Editions Thierry Magnier

Spanish: Fulgencio Pimentel

Italian: Orecchio Acerbo

Norwegian: Magikon

Slovak & Czech: Baobab

Portuguese: Planeta Tangerina (Portugal)

Portuguese: Companhia das Letras (Brazil)

Dutch: Boycott Books

Chinese (Simplified): TB Publishing Ltd (Everafter Books)

Buy this picturebook

Der Struwwelpeter

FIL & ATAK

Kein & Aber, Switzerland, 2009

Like a rock band covering their favourite songs, ATAK and FIL tackle the classic stories of Zappelphilipp, Hans-guck-in-die-Luft & Co.

And just as a Heavy Metal cover might sound harder than the original, you’ll also find tighter morals, harsher imagery, politically incorrect humour, and that ever-so-subtle touch of evil that has been pervading this book for more than 160 years.

German: Kein & Aber

French: Fremok Editions

Buy this picturebook

Der Garten / The Garden

ATAK

Verlag Antje Kunstmann, Germany, 2013

In silence, the garden wakes up. Thus opens this picturebook by ATAK, as an invitation to walk in a garden with a thousand surprises – a haven of peace, populated with animals and strange characters.

You’ll discover with wonder, the treasures and the tranquility of the garden, and you’ll observe the seasons and the passing of time.

German: Verlag Antje Kunstmann

French: Editions Thierry Magnier

Spanish: Niño Editor

Portuguese: Companhia das Letras (Brazil)

Korean: Bear & Cat

Buy this picturebook

Martha

ATAK

Aladin Verlag, Germany, 2016

Martha tells the tale of the extinction of North America’s native Passenger Pigeon – its shockingly rapid decline caused directly by humans – and is told from the perspective of ‘Martha’, the last of the species who died at the Cincinnati Zoo in 1914. The story begins with a feeling of greatness and awe, describing flocks of birds that were once so numerous that they would darken the skies for days, their beating wings as loud as motors.

German: Aladin Verlag

French: Les Fourmis Rouges

Korean: Sanha

[hvlly-blog]

- ̗̀ ❛ muse 22 , kim chungha , she / her . ❜ ̖́- did you hear about the monaco trip ? it’s legendary at ucla. holland “holly” min is going, i’m so jealous. their instagram makes it seem like they’re pretty vivacious and they’re all about an empty locket around a delicate neck  &  strawberry flavored lip gloss. can you believe they’re only twenty-one and they’re going on a free trip to monaco for the summer ? hopefully they don’t let their quixotic side show too much on the trip. 

hello… im xan ( she / her pronouns ) im 21 and its been...200 years since i’ve made an intro post or rped so JSDBJW go easy on me ! fun fact half my keyboard is broken…..so if i take 10 yrs to reply sometimes just kno….a bitch is trying her best ok... literally just winging all of this as i type if u thought i had a plan think again JSDBWB *jungkook vc* lets get it....

pause . before we get it JDBWJDJ we can plot here over ims if discord isnt ur scene !! BUT i am....way more likely to respond to discord messages bc its easier !! so u can find me on there @  A GIRL WITH LUV 💖✨🌙#8172 

idk what is triggering for any of u so if mentions of AGE GAPS, DRUG ABUSE, CAR ACCIDENTS, or SEX ADDICTIONS is sensitive stuff pls proceed with caution !!!

BACKSTORY: so . this is holland but she thinks her name is UGLY so she goes by holly 

she was born and raised in los angeles and her parents both own / run a luxury chain of rehab centers for ppl with $$$ ( u already know i want a plot involving this xx ) they are new money ! so holly really does not understand ... the spoiled lifestyle since her parents raised her pretty conciously on stories abt how they struggled as immigrants coming to a new country & making it & all that jazz

as a kid her parents would host / try to charm a lot of potential donors or clients so they’d make holly “entertain” them like as a kid she’d just be cute or maybe sing a song from chorus or just be impressively well-behaved but the older she got...the more her mom would demand from her /:

as all this was going on her parents started to have issues so instead of working it out.... holly’s dad just started traveling a whole lot to other states & countries where they had a business so growing up he wasn’t really in the picture . rip !

back to holly ! so her mom had a few close business partners and “friends” that where around holly’s family pretty much all the time and there was this one guy who was relatively younger than most of the men but still significantly older than 14 year old holly who had a huge crush. basically this man tried to take advantage of that bc hes UGLY .

one day holly’s mom caught this dude alone with holly and being way too friendly for comfort and instead of flipping on the dude she flipped on holly and was like we could lose our business and i think it’s all ur fault for causing drama” and holly was literally like What the Fuck !!! her mom cut off all ties with the dude but she still made holly feel like it was her own fault woo !!

more stuff her mom did ? yea ! one night when she was 17 she was out with this guy who had celebrity parents just eating at a nice place and drinking after and as he was driving her home, they get into a big car accident. turns out that the guy she had gone to dinner with had a coke addiction & was literally high the whole time & the only reason holly’s mom had set them up was so he’d check into their rehab center bc his famous parents were considering it but she never told holly any of that so holly was PISSED but relatively unharmed from the accident besides some bruising

basically by the time college came a bitch was ready she moved out, trying to have a fresh start away from her home life ! but college was also messy basically over the years holly developed a big dependency issue where she literally...craves attention and intimacy sososo bad bc she never got it from her family so ! she looks for it in other ppl like she needs to feel that validation so bad & she does that with really unhealthy sexual habits low key bordering addiction ! 

oh also ? since her family was never the family vacation type JSBDWJBDJ she’s never left california before so a bitch is VERY excited and if u try to make her feel bad for it . she will tell u to fuck off and let her have this !

PERSONALITY + TIDBITS: honestly one of the most sociable ppl u will ever meet she was literally raised to entertain and please so its super easy for her to make friends !! literally one of those ppl that just.....know everyone and ur like how the fuck !!! an avid social media user...are u even friends if u dont have a snap streak ? not to holly JSBDJWBDJ definitely her guilty pleasure aside from u know...sex ! 

speaking of sex she really.....ho(e)lly gets around ... 100% a chaotic bi but her trust for men is abt at a solid 0 ! she will still desperately seek validation from them though so thats fun ! she can be a gossip bc shes a gemini ... but she never does it on purpose she just ... tells funny stories & realizes half way through she was talking abt a friend’s tinder date horror story ... oops ... share secrets cautiously ! 

for someone who makes friends like its nothing shes pretty hesitant to share any real info abt herself bc she fears being rejected and abandoned ( not just romantically ) more than anything else like shes one of those ppl who ur like “oh yeah i know her!” but if someone asks u to tell them one important thing abt her ur not gonna know wtf to say

also she’s usually very amiable but if ur just .... a horrible person .. shes gonna be honest about it SDBSJWB shes got some strong opinions ! but also very unrealistic expectations in others so a lot of the time shes just ... disappointing herself for hyping u up inside her own head

she was an english major ! bc i love to self insert <3 JSDBJWBJ but she low key wishes she did something with film bc she loves editing videos & making videos abt her friends so if ur her pal ... u 100% have abt 50 videos ur a star in ! she tried to learned to speak french 100% for the aesthetic of it but only remembers like 5 words….she used to play the fucking ukulele but stopped bc her mom was like holly grow UP JSBDSJBJW shes scared of the dark /: like legit scared if she is sleeping alone a light has to stay on....and yea i dont know what else this is long enough JSDBJSWBJW IM SORRY

im out of ... juice UHHH but some basic ideas for plots are stuff to do with her family ( family friends, maybe ur muse or their family is somehow involved with her parent’s rehab center, or ur muse or their family could have been one of those business partners...whew we have possibilities !!! ), shes an only child so i would die for sibling type friendships, hmm also fwbs or just hook up connections bc those can get uhh Dramatic since she is so dependent on sex, also would die for like confidants bc thats rare for holly like sharing her deep feelings or whatever ... enemy plots are sexy but im gonna be real honest here . i suck at purely hateful connections so if u want a mean plot we gotta have depth ! JSXBDSJDB um romatic stuff too also more platonic stuff like best friends or party buddies thats literally enough i’ve been typing for HOURS . plot with me .. or Perish xx

[guylty]

Hello hello hello. An easy post today – because I know what I have to share and don’t have to resort to wallpaper talk. Except that I might – but only after the regular proceedings of a Saturday morning. Here is your round-up.

Hold on a second, is that the continuation to previous week’s post by riepu10? If so, I apologise 😂

“Background Gizzy” is such a funny concept. And such an impossible idea. How could he *ever* be a background man? Thanks nonetheless, riepu10!

This is a really interesting quote by Richard, and one that I didn’t remember hearing before. It sounds very much like him, though. Found by tallian

A thoughtful expression on the Armiface. Looks as if that was at RDC5. Posted by deepestfirefun

Oh, I missed this tweet by Puffin Books on Twitter. Good thing that richardarmitagefanpage is vigilant

Felorinbailenshield2 bought herself Trevor Pop today – and I am still waiting for mine. Honestly, I am annoyed. I ordered this thing in February!!!

Thewarriorandtheking has a close up. Or should I say a “clothes up”? Ok, sorry, dad joke. These are Thorin’s clothes

It’s always nice to see a new collage or edit of some pretty pictures. This one is by nellindreams

Fizzyxcustard posted this clever manip – but wasn’t that by Mat Khal on Twitter?

Wow, another interesting quote, found by tallian. And boy, do I disagree with Rich

“Please Doctor, I have trouble sleeping. Could take a look at me?” A gif set by riepu10

Guy of Gisborne as a painting… by ausschweifendemotte

Oh, this is pretty! Thorin, captured by fizzyxcustard

Don’t get me wrong, I really like this picture, posted by mzperx0506universe. But when I compare it to the selfies from the set from yesterday, it suddenly occurs to me that they made Daniel look relatively old. Possibly even older than Richard’s real age?

Actually, it’s that beard. It makes people look old. There you have it, #TeamShrubbery *evillaugh*. Picture posted by fizzyxcustard

Right, and now those of you who are *not* excited by historic wallpaper design can tune out. Byeeeee xx

About Wallpapers

And welcome back to those who are staying on to see what I have been dropping hints about. I am not even going to try and make a tenuous connection to NS here (even though Kate very rightly pointed out that Mrs Hale makes a reference to wallpapers in the series). I’ll just tell it as it is: I love design, and even though I am not keen on wallpapers on my own walls, I have become quite enamoured of them – for junk journal purposes. While I was travelling in West Cork with my friend last month, we visited a couple of old houses, and I kid you not – I took photos of the wallpapers in there.

The yellow rose came from Emo Court and is only a digital reprint of a 1960s wallpaper. You can guess why I took a photo of that. You have to look hard… All other wallpapers are screenprinted wallpapers copied from 18th and 19th century originals, and I took the pictures in Bryce House on the stunning and inimitable Garinish Island.

Now, the day before yesterday I visited a restored Georgian house in the centre of Dublin that belongs to the Dublin Civic Trust, an organisation that is preserving the architectural heritage of Ireland. I was curious to see the restored merchant’s house, but I also wanted to have a look at the wallpaper exhibition there. Both were stunning.

I had a long chat with the man who looked after the exhibition, and it turned out that he was the craftsman who is actually producing the wallpapers on show. And he had also produced the wallpapers that I had photographed on Garinish Island. He is the only such wallpaper printer in Ireland. Creating a roll of wallpaper takes him several days, depending on how many colours are in the designs. Every colour = another layer to be screen printed. His name is David Skinner and you can see some of his wallpaper reprints on his website. Interestingly, his wallpapers really are a total steal! They cost € 120 per roll – and the experts will tell you that regular designer wallpaper often costs even more than that. Yet Skinner’s wallpapers are basically handprinted, and they are fully customisable, i.e. if you want that wallpaper with the red, blue and yellow flowers on a brown background with purple, orange and pink flowers, he can print it according to your wishes.

This was my favourite – an old design, not a whimsical, vintagified new one, would you believe

Anyway, I was literally drooling over those wallpapers and actually told your man that I wished he’d sell off-cuts, hint hint. Unfortunately he didn’t catch my drift, but well… I have enough wallpapers for my crafting, anyway.

And now that’s it. I hope I haven’t totally bored you to death with this topic.

Have a lovely weekend – enjoy your walls,

Guylty ❤

Armitage Weekly Round-up 2019/19 Hello hello hello. An easy post today - because I know what I have to share and don't have to resort to wallpaper talk.

[sankta-arya]

Greyjoy is a bastard

Jon finds out Theon has made a Tinder profile for him

Written for @jonsadrabbles Day 5 - Bastards/Liar - 462 words

Based on the this prompt 

It was an accident when Jon opened the Tinder app on his phone. His friends had convinced him to install it, so he’d uploaded a picture, checked out a couple of profiles, and then forgotten about it. Now he wished he’d deleted it altogether.

Under a picture of him in his reading glasses, peering at a book, the tag line read:

Jon Snow, 26

Besides eating pussy, I also like reading in my spare time.

For a moment he could only stare at the screen, his mouth hanging open, but then he roared: “Greyjoy! You fucking asshat!”

There was no doubt in Jon’s mind it had been his roommate who’d edited his profile. He was torn between hurling his phone across the room and calling the traitorous bastard to find out where he was so he could break his nose, when he saw the app notifying him he had a match and a message.

Hi!

I know this may seem forward, but I don’t usually do the Tinder thing, so I was wondering if you’d be interested in just meeting up?

xx - Sansa

The girl who’d sent the message was absolutely stunning, with her long red hair and big blue eyes, and she seemed really nice as well. He took a deep breath as he started typing an answer. “Here goes nothing!”

***

Sansa was even more gorgeous in real life than she had been in her picture. She approached him with a cute little wave and a smile, and he already found himself wondering how he was going to manage to talk to her.

She came to a halt right in front of him and bit her plump pink bottom lip. “Hi!” she said, not giving him a chance to greet her back. “I have a confession: I was really, really nervous, so I already had a couple of drinks. I just wanted you to know, I’m not always this drunk.”

He laughed at that statement and she relaxed as she started giggling along.

“I really liked your pic,” she told him. “And your profile was… interesting!”

He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, about that… I didn’t make the profile, my roommate did and he is an absolute bastard! And a liar!”

“Oh,” she pouted. “So which wasn’t true then? The part about you liking to read or the other?”

Jon could feel his face turning crimson, and no matter what he tried to say, he only managed to splutter half-formed words.

She narrowed her eyes. “You aren’t wearing your glasses.”

“They’re reading glasses,” he mumbled.

“Oh,” she said, a slight crease appearing between her eyebrows. “Would you wear them for me when you eat me out sometime?”

Jon couldn’t imagine why he’d ever say no to that.

[bohemian-war]

How I met Jack Lowden…

Hi guys!

Just come from seeing Jack in MFM and even when I have met lots of celebrities in my life, this is probably one of the best experiences I’ve ever had when it comes to meeting an actor. 

I am gonna try to make this short since it’s quite late and I’ve got a massive headache. Enjoy!

So everything started when it was announced that Jack was gonna be in a new play in London. I am from Spain, however, I live in the UK now so I am lucky enough to be able to see lots of musicals and plays every day. 

When the tickets came out early this year, I bought them straight away. I did not even think about it for a second. In fact, I can’t believe that I bought them months ago and the whole thing is now gone. Time really flies!

I’ve been doing and covering both premieres and events for almost six years now as I work in the entertainment industry and I get to cover these and meet celebrities–in a professional way–for free so I’ve had my moments of starstruck, believe me. Especially when I met Tom Hanks or when I bumped into Aneurin Barnard a couple of weeks ago in the street (these are stories that can be told in a different time).

Unfortunately, since I moved to London two years ago, my work schedule–I am working in a theatre now–is a weird one, so I don’t have time to cover events as much as I used to do so in the past. This–alongside my self-esteem, anxiety, and depression issues–have made me become quite shy and to lose my “touch” when it comes to meeting actors. Now I am scared of approaching them! To the point that I have been rehearsing what I wanted to say to Jack for a whole week!

Since last Monday, the only thing I’ve done is overthinking things. “What if I don’t cause a good impression?” “What if he thinks I am crazy?” “What if I cannot talk due to my anxiety?” “What if my anxiety plays tricks on me again as it did with Aneurin?” Anyways, I started to look at all these fan pictures from last Friday and I was jealous of the fact that they could talk to him and I perfectly knew that I was not gonna be able to do the same thing. 

Today, my friend sent me a text saying that she had got last minute tickets and that she was coming with me. I immediately felt relieved because even when there was a minimum percentage that I couldn’t get anything from Jack unless she was gonna be there to support me so that was a plus.  We got to the Donmar two hours and a half before the performance began. We wanted to try to see if we could spot Jack. Obviously, we were not gonna stay there more than what it was necessary, so if he wasn’t around we would leave. Luckily, he left the building with two other actors from the play, we saw this and approached him nicely. He was on his break chatting and having a cigarette so this is when I was starting to get into a panicky kind of mood because he was definitely seeing us approaching him from afar and I didn’t want to have any “problems” with him. 

When he was about to leave, we called him and he turned around. He is BEAUTIFUL! So blonde and with those gorgeous blue eyes. So tall and skinny. Did I say he is literally the most BEAUTIFUL human being in the entire planet and that he must be protected at all costs? My friend and I basically had the shortest conversation ever. We told him that we were big fans of his, that we were there to see the show and that we needed to kill two hours and a half. He was so pleased when we let him know that we were there for him and to see the show. You cannot even imagine. He felt so relieved! We asked him for a picture and voilá:

(That’s even a coats match *_*). I quickly asked him if he could sign my Dunkirk Blu-ray and he told me that he would be delighted to do it after the show and he also told me that he’d be leaving via the fire exit (thanks to everybody here who helped me with that because some people in the theatre tried to fool us but Jack himself let us all know that he’d definitely be coming out through the back door). He finally asked me if I knew where the fire exit was otherwise he could show me. I said yes. Now that I think about it tho, I wouldn’t have minded a small tour haha.  After this, my friend and I went for a coffee and wait till seven to collect our tickets. The main “problem” is that my friend and I had different seats, however, people at the Donmar Box Office know me–as I work for the same company and I am very good friends with all of them–so we ended up getting a last minute upgrade. We were meant to be in the fourth and second rows and we finished sitting in the middle section of the first row!!! Jack was literally in front of us all the time!!! (Every time that he looked at me, I was literally dying inside. And he did it more than once! He is just so beautiful. I just wanna die T_T). 

Anyways, I cannot stress enough how incredible the play was and everybody was amazing but both Jack and Hayley were astonishing. I don’t even have words. In fact, I am not gonna give anything away as a) they’re still on previews and things are gonna keep changing when it comes to the play in the next couple of days (in fact, the play was shortened 15 minutes today); b) there’s not enough time to say everything. I thought I had seen it all with the ravishing performance of Andrew Scott in Hamlet or the astounding performance of Mark Rylance in Othello but this was in a whole different level, I can tell you. Go to see Measure for Measure if you have the chance. You are not gonna regret it! I might actually go again because it was amazing! (If you’ve seen the play and would like to discuss it with me, my inbox is now open :)).  After the show, we went to the back to wait for Jack. There were people already there and I was panicking AGAIN! I wanted to see him but I didn’t wanna be there at the same time. In fact, I was feeling that I was bothering him with my stupid presence. I already had my picture and I had seen the play. What else could I ask for? It took him about fifteen minutes to come out but he definitely did it and he was so happy to see us. BLESS HIM! Most of the fans were from Asia (especially South Korea) but us (a.k.a.the Spaniards haha). Guys, I am not even kidding, Jack spent at least 45 minutes with all of us after the show!!! After a three-hour-and-ten-minutes play, I had never seen a so well-mannered and dedicated person to his fans ever!!! He was probably exhausted and he still had time for his fans and to make jokes non-stop. He signed everything from programs and DVDs/Blu Rays to drawings. A beautiful fan drew him in Fonzo and he was blown away by the result! I literally have lots of pics, videos, and memories from the encounter. In addition, I’d like to keep most of them to myself because I’d like this to be a very special moment between Jack and me. Because it was so beautiful that I don’t want it to be spoiled. I wanna retain it in my mind forever. But I am just gonna say that we both talked about Dunkirk LOADS and when I mentioned that I first saw him in The Passing Bells he was very surprised. He answered with an amazing “Nooooo Shut Up! Are you kidding?” I told him that I am a massive History geek and he answered that he loves History too. Then that led to Mary, Queen of Scots and other projects (Fonzo etc). He was so flattered when we mentioned them all to him. When he was signing my program he was surprised by my name (he said that it is beautiful. BEAUTIFUL! *_*) and he even added an “España” (Spain) to the signature. He told me that he once went to Cadiz (South of Spain) and that he’d love to go to Madrid, which is where I am from :). I told him that I might do a trip to Scotland soon and this cheered him up even more. He also talked about his parents living in Asia and how he got to go to Asia when he was a child and that he’d love to go back one day. After this, we both hugged endlessly (he revealed to us that he’s living on his own at the moment so he needs lots of hugs awww :’)), we took lots of pics and videos and we chatted for hours. We all even joked about having a coffee together to discuss the play. Unfortunately, it was quite late but I bet that, on a different occasion, Jack would have said yes.  You can see lots of videos of us here. I am the redhead asking questions all the time haha. Now I feel bad for not letting the others speak. Sorry :(. Thank you @uoize for the amazing videos and pics as well! Here you are a few of the ones I took (I include the one with Hayley as well):

He’s signing my Dunkirk Blu Ray here. I have more than five editions of the film and I took the German one with me as it’s the one with Collins on the cover. He was taken by surprise when we told him that he is in every 4K Blu Ray edition of the film all around the world and he said that he’d like to buy one copy. When we told him it was already sold out he blamed us for buying all the copies. 

(Another pic with Jack. This time a selfie taken by him. P.S. The background of the pic has been edited as some people in the pic requested me not to be seen). The last thing I did was thank him for everything he’s done so far. I told him that he was so nice (he told me that I was very nice as well and that I could calm down around him. No need to be nervous) and that it was so great of him that he dedicates so much time to his fans when he shouldn’t be. Again, he was taken by surprise and with a puppy face, he replied “Of course, don’t be silly! I love it. Also, you came to see the show guys so it’s the least I can do!” Jacks is everything I wanted him to be and so much more!!! I don’t think I will ever meet someone like him again in my life. I truly wish him the best and I am sure he’s gonna smash it because he simply deserves the world. I’ve been to the theatre so many times and I`ve seen so many great musicals and plays. I’ve met lots of fans but nothing so close and welcoming as today. Thanks, everybody for making this possible!

Lots of love!

xx

[liliaenbaggins]

Weird asks: 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 15, 18, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 28, 29, 31, 33, 40, 43, 48, 49, 51, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 61, 62, 63, 64, 66, 72, 76, 84, 85, 86, 92, 93, 95, 96, 98.

Thanks for asking hun! I am going to put these under a read more xx

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? 

Coffee mugs.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? 

Oh I was a joy to have in class ahah.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? 

Not sure ahah… pastel??

7. earbuds or headphones?

Headphones, my ears are too small for earbuds and they always pop out.

8. movies or tv shows?

Movies.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Jasmine flowers!

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

One of those Muller corner yogurts, usually either with chocolate balls or bananas.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

In Another Life.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri.

18. ideal weather?

Depends on my mood really but I am partial to sunny days.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

In my macbook but I also like writing in notebooks.

21. obsession from childhood?

Stuffed animals ahah.

22. role model?

Don’t really think of people that way.

23. strange habits?

Probably a lot ;)

24. favorite crystal?

Don’t have one but I think crystals look pretty!

25. first song you remember hearing?

I am not sure actually!

28. five songs to describe you?

I am really bad at these - I have no idea!

29. best way to bond with you?

I am not sure, I appreciate when people are genuinely nice to mer to kick ass and take names?ber the things I told them.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

My black ankle boots make me feel good usually so those for sure.

33. most used phrase in your phone? 

How do I find out??

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? 

It used to be relatively normal when we were in school but I realise now that it was crazy - a few times a year older students would break in the school at night and fill the classrooms with worms and we would end up having a few days off. No one ever got in trouble. How crazy is that??

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? 

I am all for hoodies and leather jackets.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

LMAO, I am not sure. I hope something cute like a raspberry.

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

I don’t really have a specific one.

51. current stresses? 

Everything - I’ve got a general anxiety disorder AH

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Try to make yourself indispensable.

55. favorite fairy tale?

Don’t really have a favourite one.

56. favorite tradition?

Again, can’t think of one.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Honestly, I can only thing of struggles I still have to overcome ahah.

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I wouldn’t really call them talents because I always have to work reall hard at everything but I can sing and play the guitar and I am good at proofreading/editing?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Ahah probably something super silly.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

I have SO MANY.

63. five songs that would play in your club?

CONCERNING HOBBITS would be one of them for sure.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

The Barbie websiteeeeeee.

66. favorite flower(s)? 

I love ALL flowers.

72. worst subject? 

P.E. LOL.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? 

CHIPS and roast potatoes.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Fairy tales.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Fairy lights.

93. nicknames?

Not very many but some people call me Cla and some friends call me Gollum LOL.

95. favorite app on your phone?

Gosh I have such a love-hate relationship with my phone. I guess Instagram??

96. desktop background?

A picture of me on top of Mount Sunday in New Zealand :)

98. favorite historical era? 

Don’t really have one!

[expo63]

I was tagged by the reliably wondrous @almaviva90, bless you! xx And CONGRATULATIONS on your graduation!!!! 

Rules: Tag 9 people with excellent taste (you’re not the only one who’s shocked at apparently having excellent taste…)

Colour(s) I’m currently wearing

Last night, black mohair and stripes. Today, letting the side down badly in a cheap grey-blue ribbed jumper.

Last band T-shirt I bought

Surprisingly recently, but a very old design: The Monochrome Set’s The Lighter Side of Dating t-shirt featuring a Nosferatu-ish figure. I can’t find a pic of this one anywhere online, so:

Last band I saw live

As above. They celebrated their 40th anniversary last month, and it was the weekend-long blast of a lifetime.

Last song I listened to

‘Listened’ by accident, and not a song as such: Roy Budd’s title theme from Get Carter, because the philosopher John Gray happened to pick it on Desert Island Discs yesterday while I was eating (very) late breakfast.

Lipstick or chapstick

Carmex, mostly. I buy lipsticks, then fail to wear them 90% of the time.

Last movie I watched

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri – because my favourite place where you can see a film for £6 from an insanely comfortable vintage plane seat with good coffee is re-screening all the Oscars Best Pictures nominees, and I’d not seen it yet. Much food for debate. Give me another week and it will be Elisabeth Moss in The Square, Ruben Östlund’s satire skewering the contemporary art world, which (judging by the trailer) I’m gleefully looking forward to. Next up, I hope, A Fantastic Woman – and of course (but of course) the 2017 Maurice restoration now that it’s belatedly paying a flying visit to a big screen in the UK.

Last three TV shows I watched

Three TV shows? Seconding @almaviva90’s response on this one. Just too busy right now watching films and James Ivory’s Oscar acceptance speech.

Last three characters I identified with

I really enjoy engaging with characters in a whole range of ways that I prefer not to boil down to ‘identification’ (more like Jane Austen-esque or Forster-esque affectionate – and sometimes critical – empathy), so this is tricky!

Book I’m currently reading

Because I have to read so much stuff for work, it’s a rare treat to be able to read a whole book purely for leisure – and, often, I don’t – and when I do it’s not always fiction. As some friends may remember, I also have a habit of buying things, then having several books on the go at once and failing to finish any in a timely manner.

My ‘main’ read at the moment are Judith Scherer Herz’s The Short Narratives of E. M. Forster (1988), which I started at Christmas. Her understanding of EMF and his writings is so empathetic and wise – way ahead of some lesser criticism published later – and quite a demanding read that repays slow attention. (That’s my excuse.)

I’m also desperate to get started on...

... EMF’s own ‘other’ fiction (short stories and fragments that were never published in the three short-story collections), collected in the Abinger Edition Vol 9, Arctic Summer and Other Fiction. (Not to be confused with the more widely available Hesperus paperback solely of EMF’s unfinished novel Arctic Summer, and definitely not with Damon Galgut’s novel of the same name.)

For relaxation, of course fic is what I’m actually reading. :-) Currently, alittlewriter’s (@alittle-writer) original-work WiP Smalltown Boy on AO3, which I found purely because the author very kindly read and left a nice comment on my Chestnut and Hazel (and I need every morsel of encouragement there, frankly...)

Tagging the following 9 (10, because I couldn’t choose) wonderful people for their excellent taste (and not because I want you to feel obliged to do this…you really don’t have to!):

@fermencja (because you need cheering up) @somewhereinmalta @thecoppercow  @a-different-equation  @not-even-even @isitandwonder @like-an-officer-and-a-sergeant @lyric-lili @gayusoctgayvius @robertsadmission

@clarasteam has already been tagged!

[dee-vine]

Shutter Speed Ch. 17

Well. Here it is. The final chapter has arrived. Just in time for the midseason premier

I just want to say how thankful I am for all of you for sticking with me on this crazy, slow journey. You have all made my first fic writing experience a great one, so thank you so much. I couldn't have done it without you all!

I am going to miss writing this, but never fear, for I am not done writing! Keep an eye out for my future works (two in progress).

And, just because this story is done, does not mean I am gone. I am always on here so feel free to come chat. I am always open to new friends!

Love you, and thank you, xx Dana

Ch 16 | AO3

Betty never went to her mother’s hotel like she offered. She texted her, saying she had to pick up a shift at work, and that was it. Alice called maybe a week later, just to check in on Betty, and it was a surprisingly civil conversation. Just a simple talk of how Polly and her dad were doing, some news about her hometown, and that’s really it. Nothing about her modeling, or Jughead, or the “vile” city she calls home.

After that phone call, her life went back to normal. She picked up more shifts at work, shopped with Veronica, played video games with Archie, and had two photoshoots with Jughead. One of them, her favorite one, would definitely not get the approval of her mother. They explored the city, finding rustic rooftops and vintage hotel rooms to shoot in, with Betty wearing low-cut, exposing tops and chokers-- all very provocative.

Out of all the photoshoots, that was probably the most fun one. He had her climbing rooftops, in a safe manner, and the outfits that Veronica had chosen for her were absolutely incredible. They had the best time, spending the whole day wandering around, until it was too dark to take pictures.

His article still had not come out, and Betty could not stop impatiently asking him every time she saw him when it would come out.

“Soon,” is all he’d say, changing the topic of conversation right after. After a while she stopped asking so much, and nearly forgot about it until now.

It’s been a month since her mother’s surprise visit, and Betty is working at the coffee shop again, just a normal Friday afternoon. They are just getting through their second rush of the day when she sees Jughead walk in and stand in line. She gives him a small wave as the current customer looks over their bakery items, smiling when he pretends to tip his hat at her.

“Oh, our dearest Romeo hath arrived,” her coworker Kevin says in her ear as the customer finishes paying. Betty wishes them a good day before she smacks his forearm, turning to him.

“Stop it Kev, he’ll hear you,” she reprimands.

“Who will hear what?” Jughead asks, stepping up to the counter. Betty’s face heats up as she turns back to him, pasting a smile on her face as she takes in his appearance. His iconic crown beanie is sitting nicely on his head, and he has his messenger bag slung across his body, probably having come from work himself.

“No one and nothing. Are you having your usual?” Betty asks, already punching it into the system.

“I come here too often I think,” Jughead smiles sheepishly. Betty laughs and shakes her head, accepting his cash.

“It’s always nice when a man knows what he wants,” Kevin says from behind her, throwing a smirk over his shoulder. Jughead laughs quietly, while Betty rolls her eyes.

“I apologize for him, he can’t hold his tongue,” Betty says, turning to Kevin to glare at him with her words. Kevin responds by blowing her a kiss and walking towards the back to the stockroom. Betty turns back to Jughead when he clears his throat, another small smile on his lips. “Sorry, I’ll bring your coffee over to you.”

Jughead goes to sit down at a table by the window, removing his bag from his shoulder and setting it on one chair. She watches for a moment as he sits down, removing his hat and setting it down on the table. She snaps out of it when he glances over at her, busying herself with pouring his coffee in a to-go cup, since he doesn’t expect him to stay long.

She walks over with the cup and places it down on the table, earning an award winning smile from Jughead in return.

“Thanks Betts,” he says, taking a sip and making a small humming noise. “Do you have a moment to sit?”

Betty glances around the shop, having now emptied after the lunch rush. There is no one in line and Kevin is back behind the counter, giving her a knowing look. “I think I can spare a minute or two,” she decides, sitting down across from him.

“Not that busy today, then?” he asks, leaning forward on his forearms.

“A little bit. We just had a rush, but it will probably be slow for the rest of the day,” Betty tells him, leaning back in her seat. “Did you work this morning?”

“Yeah, had some editing to do. Also, that reminds me, I have something for you.” He opens his bag, digging through it before pulling something out and closing the bag. “The magazine is out in stores today, but I got you a special copy from worked. Signed by some big shot photographer they’re featuring.”

He slides a magazine across the table towards her, and Betty is met with the model on the cover. She smiles up at him and starts to open it, but is interrupted by Jughead’s hand atop the magazine.

“Don’t- not now. Read it after work when you have time,” he tells her, retracting his hand. Betty looks up into his eyes and sees a flash of worry in them, making Betty nod slightly.

“Yeah, of course. After work,” she agrees. He hesitates before nodding, leaning back in his chair with his hand firmly around his coffee cup. His leg is bouncing and he looks incredibly nervous, not keep eye contact for long, but Betty doesn’t comment on it. She simply watches as his fingers toy with his discarded hat, telling him about a customer that came in. She watches as he puts the hat on wordlessly, and only pauses her words for a brief moment before continuing.

Eventually, Betty has to get back to work. She bids him farewell, moving a piece of hair out of his eyes, and then goes back behind the counter. She can’t help but glance at him every once in a while as she makes orders.

“You’re staring,” Kevin suddenly says, nudging her in the back and making her jump. She spins around to face him, frowning at the wild grin he’s wearing.

“I wasn’t,” she argues, making Kevin laugh.

“Oh, you were. And now he’s leaving, so you can’t anymore,” Kevin tells her, pointing in Jughead’s direction. When she turns towards him, he’s walking towards the door with his head ducked down, bag slung over his shoulder. He looks up just as he is about to open the door to the shop, looking in Betty’s direction. Their eyes meet, and his lips quirk up in a small smile. He lifts his hand up and waves, Betty waving back as he walks out the door. She lets her hand fall back to the counter, frowning. She can’t help but feel weird at how he was acting-- all nervous and jittery. She wanted to ask, but knew it wasn’t the right time. ‘Maybe later,’ she thinks, already planning out her text in her head.

“Oh, is this loverboy’s feature?” she hears, breaking her thoughts. She turns to find Kevin holding the magazine open in his hands, paging through it. She reaches over and snatches it out of his hands, closing the magazine and setting it on the counter where she had it.

“I’m reading it later,” Betty says. Kevin raises his eyebrows and shrugs, walking over to the counter to stand next to her. “He asked me to.”

“What, is he gonna profess his love for you in it?” Kevin jokes, picking up the magazine again to examine the front cover. Betty can’t help the blush the creeps up her neck, quickly looking away so he doesn’t notice. She doesn’t know why Jughead asked her to wait to read it, but she’s going to be a good friend and follow his orders. She just had to suppress the urge to open it until after her shift.

The rest of the day went by slowly. Not many other customers came in, so Betty and Kevin passed the time doing the daily crossword puzzle and playing a random trivia game he had on his phone. It passed time, and by five o'clock they were ready to shut down.

“Any fun plans tonight?” Kevin asks as he wipes down the tables. Betty looks up from where she’s cleaning the machine, thinking about it for a moment before shaking her head.

“My roommate will probably think of something for us to do. She’s spontaneous like that,” Betty shrugs.

“Well, I for one will be watching reruns of House Hunters and treating myself to a pint of ice cream. So I hope you have more fun than me,” Kevin says, throwing the rag over his shoulder and walking behind the counter. Betty laughs and does one last wipe down before tossing her rag at him.

“I’ll try my best,” she says. “Is everything cleaned up?”

Kevin nods, dropping the rags into the dirty bin, untying his apron and folding it up. Betty does the same, stuffing it in her bag along with the magazine. “Do you wanna lock up or should I?”

“You go ahead,” Kevin tells her. Betty smiles gratefully and slings the bag onto her shoulder, walking out from behind the counter.

“Bye Kev, have a nice weekend, I’ll see you next week!” she says as she walks towards the door with a wave. Kevin waves back, before calling out quickly.

“Let me know how the article is!”

By the time Betty gets home, she’s already exhausted. Working all day is never fun for anyone, but at least she has the entire weekend to recuperate.

Veronica is home when she walks in, sitting on the couch. She happily greets Betty, putting down her book to take her in.

“I love when you come home from work, because you always smell like coffee,” she comments, standing up to give her a hug. Betty laughs when she hears her inhale deeply, pulling out of her embrace to drop her purse onto the sofa.

“I’m there all the time, I’ve surely got coffee seeping into my skin,” Betty answers. When she first started working there, she hated how she always smelled like coffee afterwards. But now Betty has actually started to enjoy it, except today when all she wants to do is shower.

“I think I’m gonna shower, I am so tired,” Betty voices to her roommate. Veronica nods and sits back down, picking up her book again.

“Let’s do something tonight, go out or something,” Veronica says, opening the book up to her bookmark.

“Sounds great,” she nods. “Also, Jughead dropped off his magazine with his feature in it. It’s in my bag if you want to read it.”

Veronica only nods to show she heard her, so Betty walks over to her bathroom, closing the door shut behind her. Her speaker is already in there, so she turns it on and connects her phone, deciding to go all out with this shower. She makes the water somewhere between warm and hot, turns on her relaxing playlist, and gets in.

A hot shower is one of the best things after a long day of work. The heat relieving her tense shoulders, the music and aroma relaxing her even more. It’s a time where there are no stressors or interruptions, and she can be at complete ease-- until Veronica bursts her door open with her shrieking.

Frantic, Betty sticks her head out to see Veronica shaking the magazine wildly. “What? What’s happening?”

“Jughead fucking Jones is happening! Have you read this?” Veronica asks, shaking the magazine in her direction.

“No, he told me to wait until after work. Did he say something bad?” Betty asks, confused.

“Quite the opposite actually! Just listen to this-- sorry, I interrupted your shower. Please keep washing, I’ll just read to you,” Veronica tells her, waving her hand and paging back in the magazine. Betty obeys, closing the curtain and washes out the remaining soap from her hair.

“Okay, so in the beginning it’s just asking about how he started getting into photography and where he got his skill from, blah blah blah. And then the interviewer asks who you are, of course, and he goes ‘her name would be Betty. I met her through a Craigslist ad, and I enjoyed her company so much I stuck with her. Not to mention she’s incredibly photogenic and beautiful and I couldn’t really see myself choosing someone else.’ And then the interviewer agrees, of course, but my god, that’s not even the best part,

“The interviewer comments how provocative the photos are, and asks how that was during the shoots. And Jughead is said to ‘smirk to himself’ before answering, ‘I’d like to consider myself a gentleman. And like I said, Betty is very beautiful. I’m lucky to be able to photograph her.’ Jughead Jones is saying this Betty! Your Jughead!”

By now, Betty has finished washing up and is just standing under the stream of water. She snaps out of it and turns the water off, reaching out to grab her fuzzy robe, putting it on before stepping out of the shower. She walks straight towards Veronica, who is holding the magazine out to her, taking it from her hands to read it herself.

“INT: So, you mention you would like to further your career as a photographer, but as you know it is a tough field to succeed in. What gives that drive, makes you believe that you can do what you want to do?

JJ: (after a moment of contemplation) I never had it easy during my life. I’ve already had to work harder than some to even get into school, so I’m used to not having success. But I met someone recently that has inspired me in more ways than one. They have become my rock, the person that I trust more than anything, which is not easy for me. I’ve seen them go through very difficult things, but always with a smile on their face. Yeah, it’s a competitive world, but as long as I have someone by my side telling me that I can do it, then I know that I can. They have inspired me to follow my dreams, because they never give up on anything they try to do.

INT: You speak very highly of this person, so they must be pretty important.

JJ: Well, I like them very much, and yeah, they are very important to me. It’s important to have that one person that you can go to. It’s what keeps people going, what keeps me going…”

Betty stops reading after that, nearly dropping the magazine. She has tears clouding in her eyes as she looks up at Veronica, who’s smiling softly at her.

“How is he so eloquent?” Betty mumbles, wiping at her eyes. She’s slightly confused about the article, not really sure what to make of it. Veronica, however, looks like she knows something that Betty doesn’t.

“I think we’ll cancel whatever plans we may have had tonight. You go see your boy,” Veronica smiles. With a second thought, glancing down at her, she adds, “After you change, of course.”

Betty just nods, closing the magazine and walking out of the bedroom. Jughead’s words keep playing over and over in her head, paired with visions of his nervousness earlier this morning. She feels like she should know something, but all she can think about is how open he was in the article. She knows Jughead to be a very closed off person, so reading him admitting all these things is a shock.

She gets dressed quickly, leaving her hair down to dry, before she’s walking into the living room to grab her bag. There is a new sense of determination as she stuffs the magazine in there and slings it over her shoulder. Veronica watches her the entire time, and amused expression on her face when Betty finally stops to look at her.

“Want me to come with?” she asks, dropping her book in her lap. Betty simply shakes her head, but smiles slightly. “Okay. Well good luck, I guess. Tell him I say hi and all.”

And with that, she’s out the door. She’s decided that it’s finally time to tell Jughead Jones how she really feels, because it has gone on for long enough. Now is the time.

While Jughead sat at the coffee shop with Betty, he was overcome with a sudden nervousness. She was going to read his interview later, and she was going to see him bare his feelings to the world. And he was terrified.

He played out the scenario in his mind-- how he’d tell her. He prepared an entire speech, but as he walked home from the coffee shop he forgot everything. And then the fear came back.

He has been wanting to tell Betty for nearly two months, but his fear always got the best of him. Fear of rejection, fear of scaring her away, and now fear of losing his chance. What if he waited too long and now he just looks like a fool?

He knows they have this weird, unspoken thing going on between them, but that could very well be the result of being a young adult. For her, at least. For Jughead, it’s real.

So real, that when he comes home he shuts himself away in his bedroom listening to sappy love songs and trying his hardest not to text her or call her. He knows she works all day so wouldn’t even be able to have a conversation, but if he keeps these feelings in any longer he’ll combust.

He spends hours laying on his bed, drowning out any outer noise with his music. He doesn’t hear when Archie comes home and slams some doors. He doesn’t hear when, shortly after that, a knock on the front door sounds. He doesn’t hear Archie open the door and greet whoever it is, or when he says ‘he’s sulking in his room’. He doesn’t hear anything until his bedroom door is swinging open, a wet-haired and wide eyed Betty standing in the doorway.

Scrambling to sit up, Jughead switches off the music and turns to fully look at her. “Betty, you’re here.”

It’s not a question, and Betty just nods, walking into the room. His eyes drift down to her hands, seeing her carrying the exact magazine he gave her this morning. He freezes, looking back up at her face as his shoulders sulk, the fear washing over him again.

“I have questions,” she says, sounding a little breathless. Her face is also flushed, looking like she may have ran here from her apartment. Licking his lips, he nods and pulls the hat further down on his head. “The hat. You wear the hat when you need comfort.”

Again, it’s not a question, but Jughead feels like he’s in an interrogation room all of the sudden. He averts his eyes to the bed, not able to look into hers as he nods slowly.

“You don’t- you can take it off. I want you to take it off,” Betty whispers, and her voice sounds slightly choked up. Jughead hesitates before slowly reaching up to slide the hat off of his head, placing it on the bedside table. Betty lets out a breath of air and walks over to the bed, sitting down on the edge and facing him.

“You said you have questions,” Jughead repeats, looking back up at her. Her eyes search his face for a moment before she nods, placing the magazine on the bed.

“The person you talked about, the one that inspires you... is that-” Betty cuts herself off, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. He can sense that she’s having trouble getting the words out, so he places his hand on the magazine next to hers, staring at them both.

“It’s you, Betty. I was talking about you,” he tells her. Out of the corner of his eye he sees her head snap up to look at him, but he can’t face her yet.

“Wh- how? How do I inspire you?” she asks, and that finally makes him look up.

“Are you kidding me? Do you know how strong you are?” he asks, and she shakes her head slowly. “Betty, I’ve only known you for a short time, but I’ve never met someone as strong as you. I have seen you battle your anxiety, I’ve seen you stand up to your mom. I’ve seen you grow stronger and more confident everyday that I’ve known you. That’s why you inspire me. Because if you can do all this, anyone can.”

She lets his words sink in, her eyes turning glassy when she meets his. “Juggie, I-”

“I need to tell you something. I’ve been wanting to for a long time and I just, I need to say it now and I need to ask you not to say anything until I’m finished. Is that okay?” Jughead looks at her, looks into her wide, teary eyes. She nods slowly, bringing a hand up to wipe at her eyes. Jughead takes a deep breath and stands up, feeling the need to pace as he talks.

“When I first saw your picture, Archie teased me because I stared at it for so long. I know I said I liked how you answered the questions, but truthfully- you’re beautiful. And I’ve said that, yeah, in the article and all but...you’re so beautiful, Betty. And sometimes I wonder if the gods are playing a trick on me by sending down a literal angel to remind me I’ll be forever alone.” He pauses, breathing out a laugh and shaking his head.

“And then I met you, and I knew I couldn’t lose you. So I tried my hardest not to, by asking you to keep modeling for me. And you said yes. I still wonder why, but you did and I’ve never been happier. And then Archie teased me even more,

“But the more he teased, the more it became reality. You are like- you’re like the moon. You have this gravitational pull, and I am the Earth just wanting to be pulled towards you, but I can’t. Because if the moon and the Earth get too close, there will be tsunamis and earthquakes and just- bad things will happen.” He chances looking up at her, pausing his pacing, but she’s staring down at her feet so he continues.

“So I pulled away. You stayed in your own orbit and I stayed in mine. Then, enter a space rover that makes its home on the moon. And the moon likes this rover a lot, and the Earth is jealous because the Earth wants to be on the moon but can’t because tsunamis. And- fuck, I’m not making any sense now am I.” He doesn’t mean it as a question, because he’s hearing his words in his mind and wants to slap himself for being an idiot.

“Forget the metaphor. What I’m trying to say is...you are my person, Betty. You are the person that I trust more than anything. You’re the person that I want to go to when I accomplish something big. You’re the person I want to bring me up when I’m down, the one I want to spend celebrations with. You’re the one, Betty. And I-” Jughead pauses, his breath catching in his throat when he looks at Betty. She’s looking up at him with tears streaming down her cheeks, but a smile on her lips. He looks into her bright eyes, finally finding the courage to say what he couldn’t before.

“I love you...Betty Cooper,” he finally says. It feels like a weight is lifted off of his shoulders when he says it, like it was dragging him down and now he can fly away.

And then Betty stands up. She still has a smile playing on her lips as she wipes a tear away, walking towards him. He can’t breathe, suddenly, as she stops in front of him, looking up at him with earnest eyes.

“Jughead Jones, I love you,” she says, her face impossibly bright with happiness. Jughead smiles, partially in relief and in happiness. He brings his hand up to caress her jaw, his thumb wiping off a few tears. He’s aware of how close they are, and how they’ve never been this close before. It means something in itself, because now Jughead is free to do what he’s only dreamed of before.

They lean in at the same time, Betty’s hands coming up to caress his face, and when their lips touch its soft. But then Jughead drops his hand to her neck, threading his fingers into her hair and pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. He lied before-- this makes him feel like he is flying away.

He eventually pulls away, a little breathless as he touches their foreheads together. Her tears have now dried, but the smile is still there, wider than ever.

“Will you go on a date with me?” he asks with a grin. Betty laughs slightly, hands dropping down to rest on his chest, her fingers playing with the fabric of his shirt.

“We’ve done this a bit backwards, but yes. I’d really love that,” Betty answers. Jughead’s smile softens, one hand dropping to her waist. He looks into her eyes while he gently strokes her jaw with his thumb.

“Moon of my life,” he whispers, and then he’s kissing her again, because he can’t get enough of it.

They don’t notice when Archie walks past the open doorway, stopping abruptly when he sees them. He watches for a moment, grinning to himself before walking away. He won’t run and tell Veronica, of course he won’t.

Except he totally will.

They tell Veronica and Archie a few weeks later, after classes start.

They are having a movie night at Betty’s, but Jughead arrives late due to a work thing. He walks right in, greeting Archie and Veronica as normal. He disposes of his book bag as Betty emerges from the kitchen holding a bowl of freshly popped popcorn. She smiles when she notices him, and Jughead walks towards her to greet her. He touches his hand to her hip, mumbling a ‘hey babe’ and pressing a quick kiss to her lips. He freezes once he realizes what he’s done, Betty’s eyes wide. He spins around, hoping that maybe Archie and Veronica were too enveloped with each other to notice. But alas, they are staring at him with wide grins, both looking like they’ll burst from happiness.

Jughead clears his throat and takes the bowl from Betty, walking over to the couch and sitting down. They’re still staring when Betty seats herself next to him, completely silent. It’s Jughead that finally breaks the silence, not even facing them.

“We’re dating now. Don’t say anything about it,” he says, like it’s the most casual thing. He should’ve known they wouldn’t listen, of course, because he and Betty are soon both wrapped up in Veronica’s arms, the girl squealing into their ears.

“I knew this day would come and it’s better than I ever imagined!” she squeals. Jughead looks at Betty with a pained look, but she just laughs and takes his hand and hers, mouthing that it will be okay.

And maybe, just maybe, they will be.

[refashiongallery]

WHERE TO EAT IN VALENCIENNES

Best Restaurants in Valenciennes

WHERE TO EAT IN VALENCIENNES

WHERE TO EAT IN VALENCIENNES

I wrote about things to do in Valenciennes and where to stay here. I also wrote about the city’s incredible bed and breakfast Le Grand Duc here, now I will share my restaurant addresses. 

Some of these addresses are also published in the second edition of l’Etincelle, the Valenciennes city’s lifestyle magazine who invited me to write some articles for them back in December 2017. 

AU BEAU’VIN

In the old town part of Valenciennes, just a few steps away from the beautiful building of the public library (a visit is highly recommended if you haven’t been there), there is a pretty town square called place Saint Nicolas. This town square is pretty quiet during winter but when the weather gets warmer this place becomes very lively as restaurants put tables and chairs outside to provide pleasant terraces to pedestrians. During some weekends cars are forbidden to circulate. When there is no car, there’s open air markets or live concerts that attract the local crowd and warm up the atmosphere. Au Beau Vin is one of the restaurants in this town square. Famous for its grilled meat, this is a local’s favorite. Try once and you’ll come back for the perfectly cooked and carefully selected meat. For non meat eaters, some fish dishes and salads are also included in the menu. You’ll also find one of Valenciennes’ local delicacies in the menu. The « Lucculus tongue »,  a terrine of foie gras layered with smoked beef tongue is served as an appetizer. For big family or group gathering, there is a private space with nice brick walls at the back of the restaurant. The friendly owner Gautier Synaeghel (pictured above) is passionate about good food and wine so don’t hesitate to ask for his advice if you need help with the menu. He’s also preparing to open a second address, with a tapas/ wine bar style in front of Au Beau’Vin.

CHEZ JUSTINE

A new restaurant concept just opened in Valenciennes. At Chez Justine you can choose between 4 differents atmospheres. They have a pink girly room for your girls night out, a businessman room for your business lunch, or a cozy room to relax with your family and friends. For lunch the menu offers French cuisine. Every dish is freshly prepared onsite with the best ingredients. In the afternoon it’s the perfect place for a tea time. You’ll find homemade cakes, fragrant  teas and hot chocolate that you can’t resist during winter. Chez Justine has a very lovely terrace, highly recommended for sunny days ! 

VIA RISTORANTE

The last photo above is Via Ristorante, a place to have Italian dish in a very nice setting. I didn’t have the chance to try this restaurant myself but I heard good feedbacks about it. This restaurant is next to Au Beau’Vin, also situated in Place Saint Nicolas.

PIER

Another address in Place Saint Nicolas that I wanted to share with you. I have not had the chance to try this address myself, but I heard many good feedbacks from locals who recommend this place with a lot of enthusiasm. I guess it’s in my to do list for my next visit in Valenciennes !

AUBERGE DU BON FERMIER

A hotel and a traditional restaurant in the heart of Valenciennes. This address is recommended by my husband who goes to Valenciennes often for work. His colleagues love to bring him and other guests for lunch here. The restaurant serves traditional dish, the portions are very generous. This is the place if you’re looking for something very traditional, in a rustic and very French setting.

DAIDOKORO

A very authentic Japanese restaurant. I LOVE this restaurant. The Japanese owner used to work for Toyota. The Iphone photo that I took below is from a lunch that I had at their place. The decoration is minimalist but very modern and beautiful. It is cozy and welcoming and as soon as you enter this place, you feel like you’re being transported to Tokyo. Every detail reminds me of Japan. You can find very good sushi and Japanese fried dish here. Their “tonkatsu” (fried breaded pork) is excellent, absolutely a must try. Highly recommended.

LES FOLIES BERBERES

A Moroccan restaurant in Marly neighborhood, very close to Valenciennes’ golf course. A typical setting, a Berber tent just like in the Moroccan dessert with refined and authentic cuisine. On the menu, homemade couscous and tajine. Their tajines are cooked in terracotta dish on wood fire and have to be ordered at least 24 hours in advance because they require at least 1 hour and 40 minutes of cooking time. Recommended for those looking for some exotic, Arabian nights atmosphere.

If you happen to be in Valenciennes and you try one of these addresses, please let me know what you think in the comment below ! 

xx Irma

[stylo-xx]

Eyes Closed (M)

G-Dragon: Angst/Small amount of fluff/Smut

PART 3: You Always Hurt the One You Love

A/N: All right this one is out before midnight for once! haha. This is finally a more Ji-Yong-centric part and I felt way too many feelings writing this but I hope you all enjoy none the less! xx

P.S. please by all means leave me your thoughts/comments about how you like/dislike how the story is going so far. I’d really love to know where I can improve and/or what things I am doing that you all like.

P.P.S this was the song that was playing in the car, give it a listen!

(Part One)||(Part Two-A)||(Part Two-B)||(Part Four)

(ORIGINALLY POSTED BY s-tttop)

      Sitting in the rear seat of the black tinted windowed SUV, Ji-Yong absentmindedly played with the threads that were poking out from the rip on the knees of his jeans. The men accompanying him in the car sat in a comfortable silence as they were all far too exhausted from having been woken up so early; at least early to them. Just when they got comfortable being home, they get ripped right out of their comfortable bed sheets only to be shipped off to some other city. Another city, another photoshoot and yet it was still the same monotonous thing over and over again.

      Donning his sunglasses Ji-Yong stared out the window and nodded his head to the faint sound of the music coming from the car speakers.

       ‘Haunted by secrets, my lips are sealed

      All of your demons it turns out they’re real

      The shadows on the wall, will watch me as I crawl

      But you know how to make me come back

      I’m just a monster that you’ll never fear’

       He shook his head out of his thoughts; somehow they always managed to be about her. He couldn’t understand it really, he would drink to forget but he always remembered. Always. Even when he was drunk out of his mind he could swear he’d hear her call out to him, swear that he heard his phone go off and that it was her finally willing to talk to him. But somehow it always just managed to be his imagination. He thought it was like some kind of cruel joke his mind liked to play on him although he wasn’t sure if this was actually some sick, deep seeded pleasure he got from torturing himself or if he had just completely lost it. He couldn’t even sleep without seeing her, the only time he’d actually get a decent night’s rest was ironically when he was piss ass drunk, but even then the hallucinations of her in the room was like dangling forbidden fruit right before him that was always just barely out of reach. Like the other night at Seungri’s friend’s club he could have sworn he saw her in the distance intermingled with the other just as intoxicated people in the club. But from his seemingly permanent seat at the booth he knew she was just another hallucination; just a fever dream of attaining the unattainable. There’d even be instances when he’d actually get to the point in the night where he would ‘forget’ her long enough that’d he’d go home with someone for once, but in the end they were never good enough; they weren’t her. At times he’d even feel terrible because every single time without fail he’d picture her being the one he was taking out his frustrations on but none of his paramours or lovers alike could satiate the undeniable hunger within him. I guess ‘Misery’ simply loved the company but very rarely did he love to keep it.

       ‘Why won’t you ever let me leave?

      Just fucking let me out

      Every time that I’m out of reach she says “turn around”

       “Yah, can you turn the music off…” he spoke.

      The suddenness of his voice filling the car startled a sleeping Dae-Sung and Seungri; whom of which was drooling on Dae-Sung’s shoulder.

      “Ahh, but Hyung that’s a good song it’s nice and mellow it was--”

      “I can’t hear myself think” Ji-Yong cut off the maknae “besides I hate that song…”

      Young-Bae threw him a half lidded side-eye.

      “Yah Ji-Yongie-ah” the oldest of the five spoke up “If that song brings up bad memories you just have to say so…”

      “Hyung!--” Ji-Yong readied himself to put up a fight, only for his actions to be cut short by a tired hand from Young-Bae on his shoulder.

      “Hyung, do you really want to piss him off at this close of a proximity”

      The eldest man simply shrugged and cozied himself up in his coat that was haphazardly strewn across his body.

      Ji-Yong sighed and slouched back into his seat.

      Seeing that the commotion had subsided the men returned to their previous positions as they tried to relax before a grueling day of getting unwillingly pampered and shoved into clothes that despite their appearance they were deceivingly itchy.

      Ji-Yong sighed again and pulled his phone from his pant pocket, these days he had kept his distance from social media but every so often he liked to make an appearance to appease the masses on Instagram. Opening the app he scrolled through his photos to find a selfie he had taken previously, added a cute~ caption and posted it. As if almost instantaneously the number of likes he received was by the thousands; the thought of it almost made him want to chuckle. Curious what he had missed in his absence from the world of social media he decided to check the photos he had been tagged in; every now and again he’d find some kind of amazing fan art or just a hilarious edit of one of the members. Scrolling through there was a picture of him from an old concert here, a picture of him drunk with some fangirl there; just an unintentional collage of Ji-Yong. The further he scrolled the more he began to notice he had been tagged multiple times in some picture of two people kissing.

      ‘Dear god another dating rumor?’ He thought.

      He kept scrolling past but seeing as I the amount of times he was tagged in that same picture, his curiosity had gotten the best of him. Only, I'm sure looking back he'd probably wish it hadn't.

      And as clear as day, there she was; just as beautiful as ever but in the arms of another man no less. He felt an array of emotions, just seeing her in that state and just the thought of what had probably occurred between the two of them later that night made him sick. Feeling like his heart had tanked to the floor, a jealousy from deep within began to rear it's ugly head. Just what did this douche bag have that he didn't? He had, had to endure the pain of seeing her  in magazines gallivanting around with the annoyingly perfect men of Hollywood but this just seemed to hurt him more somehow.

      He scrolled down to read the comments.

       ‘Omo, she is so lucky!~’

      ‘WHo is that with her???? Damn! *faints*’

      ‘I totally know who that is (¬‿¬)’

      ‘Wtf how does she date all these people?!!!!’

      ‘I wish someone would kiss me like that (ಥ﹏ಥ)’

      ‘Pfffft well if this isn’t a fuck you to that dragon guy ╭∩╮(^3^)╭∩╮’

      ‘Wait how do you know who that is with her???’

      ‘Haha that’s Suho from EXO! My friend was at that party, she said she saw them together most of the night. She said Alex was pretty drunk and her and Suho were just like all over eachother *shrugs*’

      ‘What party?! DETAILS PLEASE!’

      ‘Some grand opening to some new club in Gangnam. I don’t have much details other than that, my friend is the one that lives in Korea not me (ಥ_ಥ)’

       ‘Holy shit…’ Ji-Yong thought ‘So--so I did see her the other night...it wasn’t just some fucked up dream I had’

      He bent over in his seat and placed his head between his hands, all this time-- the past two days he had been mulling over and over again in his mind about that night when he thought he saw her and he actually had. He was mentally kicking himself for, for once not following his indiscretions and just going up to her. All this time, he could have heard her speak for the first time in months, he could have listen to her laugh, he could have been the one that was in that photo, he could have been the one that ended his night with her; but no, the better man had won.

      ‘Pffft, better man...’ he scowled ‘that ostentatious fuck…’

      Sitting upright in his seat again, he clenched his jaw and balled up his fist so hard his knuckles went white. He couldn’t believe that once again this asshole was the cause to all his problems. He couldn't believe that he was stupid enough not to realize she was actually within reach and once again he had let her go. His chest started heaving up and down harder and harder the angrier he got.

      ‘ARGH!’ he pulled back his arm and took a hard swing at the plastic frame of the car window and completely smashing it in the process.

      The other men in the car just looked at each other awkwardly at the enraged man’s outburst.

      Noticing the blood cascading from from his best friend’s hand, Young-Bae went wide eyed.

      “Ji-Yong-ah--”

      “What?!” he clenched his eyes shut and with a shaky, unbattered hand pulled out his pack of cigarettes.

      “Not to make the situation worse but, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” his best friend gestured with his hand “You crazy son of a bitch, look at your fucking hand! What the fuck Ji-Yong?!” rolling down the partition to the driver he demanded that he immediately take them to the hospital.

      Managing to light his cigarette with one hand Ji-Yong spoke nonchalantly.

      “Yah, Young-Bae I’m fine...I don't even feel anything…”

      “Don’t even feel-- DID YOU ALSO LOSE YOUR FUCKING MIND IN THE PROCESS OF BREAKING YOUR FUCKING HAND BECAUSE THAT FUCKING WATERFALL OF BLOOD COMING DOWN YOUR ARM DOESN’T LOOK FINE TO ME!”

      The other men in the car just continued to glance at each other awkwardly, not trying to make any sort of eye contact with the other two men.

      “STOP FUCKING YELLING AT ME!”

      “WELL I WOULDN’T HAVE TO IF YOU WEREN’T SO FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND--”

      “YAH!” the eldest’s voice boomed “Young-Bae you yelling at this Pabo isn't helping. Ji-Yong, what-the-fuck?  What the hell could have happened to you in the past five minutes that you go and not only break the company car but you break your goddamn hand?!”

      With the cigarette dangling between his lips, he let out a sardonic chuckle.

      “Have a look for yourself…” he said barely above a whisper and tossed his phone in their general direction.

      Upon arrival the doctor had diagnosed that Ji-Yong had a Boxer’s fracture; in short he had broken the first two knuckles of his right hand. After pulling out the shards of plastic, stitching up the gaping wounds on his hand and wrapping his hand and forearm up in a cast he was free to go.

      He sat on the edge of the hospital bed in an almost catatonic state, staring blankly at the linoleum flooring solely being consumed by his thoughts.

      Young-Bae and a very cautious Seungri walked into the room slightly alarmed at their friend’s zombie like state.

      “Yah, Ji-Yong-ah the doctors said you're free to go”

      No response.

      “We can go to TOP Hyung’s house and drink some wine and--”

      “He's not supposed to drink while he's on the medication Hyung..” Seungri interjected.

      Young-bae side eyed Seungri.

      “We can watch a movie so you don't have to make an effort to talk to us?”

      Still no response.

      Seungri stepped forward and took a shaky breath before speaking.

      “Hyung, I failed you. If you wanna hit me go ahead, I deserve it” he preemptively winced.

      Ji-Yong pushed him away “I’m fine let’s go..” and he hopped off the hospital bed

      “But Hyung aren’t you mad at me?”

      “No Seungri, I’m not mad at you…” he kept walking toward the door somberly.

      Seungri and Young-Bae glanced at each other and walked out after him

      “But Hyung don’t wanna hit me? It would make you feel better” the maknae cleared his throat.

      Jiyong stopped in his tracks turning to face Seungri.

      “The only thing that would make me feel worse is inflicting undeserved pain on someone who’s done nothing wrong to me” he turned on his heel and continued toward the exit.

      The other two glanced at each other again, Young-Bae simply mouthed ‘Do something!’

      “Hyung if you're playing hard to get its working, just hit me! It's ok i swear!”

      Keeping to his onset silence, Seungri received no reply.

      “Ok well if you're not mad at me who are you mad at?!” Young-Bae smacked the maknae on the back of the head.

      Not turning around he spoke in a monotone voice.

      “Myself…” he pushed passed the frosted glass doors revealing a smiley Dae-Sung with a bouquet of flowers in hand and a just as ecstatic Seung-Hyun that were both happy to see their leader one piece; so to speak.

      “Hey, there he is!” Dae-Sung motioned to hand over the flowers to Ji-Yong but he simply brushed him off and headed toward the town car in waiting.

      “Aish, what’s with him?” Dae-Sung furrowed his brows “I thought the Oxycodone would’ve made him tolerable for once…you’d think that being who he is he wouldn’t let some girl get him like that..if I was her I wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to get back with that mess of a ma--”

      “Yah!” Seung-Hyun smacked him on the back of the head “go get in the car!”

      Dae-Sung rubbed the back of his head and mutter incoherent nothings to himself.

      Walking up to the older man, Young-Bae placed a hand on his shoulder and sighed. Watching his best friend slide inside of the car, he couldn’t help but feel pity for him. He felt somewhat guilty. He had known she was back in Seoul, he knew about her and Suho but he didn’t tell Ji-Yong because he felt like he was protecting him; but it made him wonder if he was more so protecting himself. Protecting himself from what he wasn’t sure.

      “What are we gonna do Hyung?”

      Seung-Hyun blew a puff of air from his mouth “I really don’t know, I didn’t think he could get any worse but this just takes the cake”

      Young-Bae bit his lip and nodded.

      “Would talking to her at this point even help?” the eldest man raised an eyebrow.

      The dreaded man sighed again “Honestly, Hyung I don’t think that’d make it any better. I know he says he always says he just wants to see her but truthfully I think talking her would make him worse if that’s even humanly possible…besides I’m pretty sure that is a lost cause”

      This time the eldest man nodded.

      “I spoke to Tim the day after the club and he told me Suho had come back that morning and checked on her and that he was laying it on pretty thick; flowers in hand and all--”

      “Pfft, Jesus...” Seung-Hyun raised his eyebrows.

      “He also told me that she texted Tim later that night telling him about how excited she was for tonight, that Suho was supposedly coming back from Paris and he was going to take her on a ‘real’ date..”

      “Wah...that guy’s not fucking around huh?”

      Young-Bae shook his head “Aish, Hyung I just wish he would stop being so stupid and talk to her! I mean I know why she doesn’t want to talk to him but if he really did love her as much as he complains about all the time then why not fight for her instead of letting this stupid picture get to him?! While he’s over here breaking shit for no other reason other than letting his fucking ego get in the way, this douche is over here getting the girl. The more Ji-Yong mopes and sulks in his own self pity, the further away she’s getting”

      The older man shrugged.

      “I can’t let this happen, not just because Ji-Yong is my best friend but I also just straight up don’t trust that guy. Tim and I both agree that we feel like he’s up to something...I just don’t know what it is yet”       Seung-Hyun replaced his hand on the younger man’s shoulder and nodded his head. He didn’t really know what to say, while he loved Ji-Yong he hated this self-destructive monster he had become; he hated the entire situation to be honest. The entire thing had him confused, being that Ji-Yong was the one that ended things to begin with he didn’t entirely blame her for wanting nothing to do with him. On the other hand, knowing how much he loved her and how much he regretted letting her go for no other reason other than being a complete coward, he wanted his friends to be just like they were when they first started dating; up until that point he hadn’t seen Ji-Yong as happy as he was in a long time. Now, all he saw was the pathetic shell of a man he once called his friend, this new Ji-Yong wasn’t the same guy he had know since they were kids. He always feared that one day or another one of them would let their celebrity status get to their heads and being at the place Ji-Yong was at the time, he never would have guessed that G-Dragon was there to stay once the stage lights shut off. Now more so than ever. He never minded Ji-Yong’s partying ways, or his promiscuity but when it got to the point where G-Dragon became his scapegoat and it was his catalyst for hurting Alex, he just slowly began to resent him. Seung-Hyun knew everything, he knew about every spat, every little fight, every time they’d say words they never meant to each other; he knew everything.

      “WHERE IS SHE?” Ji-Yong cried.       “Ji-Yong calm down” Young-Bae tried to pacify his extremely intoxicated friend.       “Yah! Young-Bae I fucked up, I FUCKED UP” he wailed with hot tears streaming down his face “I lost her, I FUCKING LOST HER”       “Ji-Yong, jinja calm-down”       “How the fuck do you want me to calm down when I ruined everything?! Ahh Young-Bae, I’m done!”       “Done with what?” he furrowed his brows.       “With this, with everything! I don’t wanna do this anymore!”       “What are you talking about?”       “Just let me drink until I can’t fucking feel anything anymore...I don’t want to feel anything…I’m fucking useless, all I do is fuck everything up”       “No you don’t what the hell are you talking about?”       “I-I screwed up” Ji-Yong slurred his words “she hates m-me, she hates me…”        “Ok listen to me” Young-Bae took his best friend’s face between his hands “you are fucking drunk, just stop talking for a second and think about what you’re saying”       “All I do is make her cry...” he said absentmindedly, completely ignoring his friend’s pleas.       “Ok, Ji-Yong listen to me” taking his friend’s face in his hands again “Stay right here and drink this water ok? Give me a second a I’ll be right back”       Ji-Yong simply nodded as he cradled himself back and forth on the hotel room bed.       Stepping into the bathroom Young-bae pulled out his phone and quickly searched for Alex’s number. The phone rang three times before he got an answer.

      ‘Hello?’ her voice sounded hoarse.       “Alex? Where are you?”       ‘I’m with Jackson, Tim and Saige, why?’       “I really need you to come back to your room, please it’s Ji-Yong”       A short pause came before she spoke ‘why...I don’t want to talk to him right now. Besides my flight back home is in like 45 minutes so, no”       “Flight back home? What do y--” he heard a crash from the other room.       ‘What was that?’       “Shit…” he swore under his breath.       ‘Young-Bae?’       “Please just come back to your room, I don’t have time to explain!”       ‘Young-Bae wait!--’       He hung up his phone and rushed back into the other room to find Ji-Yong held a broken bottle of whiskey in a bloodied hand.       “Ji-Yong what the hell?!” he rushed to his best friend’s side “No, no! Put that down! Jinga look at your hand!”       Ji-Yong swayed in place and sniffled  “i-it’s not that bad, see” he held out his bloodied hand toward his friend. Just then a pounding came from the front door. Young-Bae rushed to open the door, revealing an Alex who looked out of breath..       “What the hell is going on?” she spoke as Young-Bae closed the door behind her.       Not being able to stand his ground Ji-Yong swayed back and forth and stared at her in awe.       “Oh my god Ji-Yong you’re bleeding!” she took several steps toward him and grasped the wrist of his bleeding hand.       Not even batting an eye he continued to stare at her the words that were coming out of her mouth went completely unheard.       “Oh my god um ok” she pulled him toward the bathroom “Young-Bae what the hell?! Why did you let him do this to himself?!”       “Let him?! I was trying to keep him from doing anything stupid, and the one second I take my eyes off of him, to call you by the way, he does this shit!” he threw his hands up.       She shook her head “can you at least find me a first aid kit or something? I need to get these little pieces of glass out of his hand”       Young-Bae nodded and headed out the front door.       “Tsk, Ji-Yong what the hell is wrong with you?” she held up his hand toward the light to get a better view “Here, let’s at least try to wash the blood off” Running his hand under the faucet, he’d wince every now and again but still he would always manage to find his way back to staring at her; admiring her facial features.       “Ahh, ahh!” he winced again.       “Oh shit, I’m sorry!” she looked at him with pleading eyes.       As if completely forgetting the shards of glass in his left hand, he cupped her face with the other hand and stared into her eyes before leaning in for a kiss.

      “Ji-Yong, no...” she pulled away from him “your timing is terrible, you really think that just because you’re and idiot with blood gushing out of your hand that means I’m not upset with you?”       He closed his eyes and threw his head back.       “What were you thinking anyway? You could have really hurt yourself…”       “Would you have cared if I had?” he opened his eyes and leaned against the counter.       “What the hell is that supposed to--You know what, I don’t want to fight with you anymore I just really want this night to be over” she sighed.       He pushed himself off of the counter and stood right before her, once again staring into her eyes. He weighed his options in his mind before he bit his lip and went in for another kiss, only this time actually making contact. Deepening the kiss he placed his good hand on the nape of her neck and backed her up against the wall behind her. She hesitantly placed a hand on his bare shoulder and then moved up it into his hair. Pulling away to kiss her neck, he smiled to himself.       “Mmm, Ji-Yong what about your--hng--hand?”       “Fuck my hand...” he spoke into her skin.       She let out a small whimper “I’m serious Ji-Yong”       “So am I” he took his hand from her neck and placed it beneath one of her thighs and raised her leg up toward his waist.       She threw her head back as her eyes rolled back into her head “Young-Bae is going to be back any second…”       “We have to hurry then...” he took his hand and moved it up underneath her long hoodie and hooked his fingers around her underwear and yanked them off. He pulled away from her neck and looked her in the eyes and smiled, placing a peck upon her lips he reached between the two of them and attempted to undo his pants with one hand with no such luck.

      “Uhm, could ya help me out a bit” he let out a chuckle.

      She sighed and complied undoing the button and zipper to his pants. Going back in for another passionate kiss he pulled down his boxer briefs and pumped himself before entering her causing her to gasp into the kiss. 

      Not giving her time to adjust he started pulling in and out at a fast pace, completely forgetting about his mangled left hand that he rested against the wall. Her moans began to fill the bathroom as they reverberated off of the walls, he pulled away from the kiss and threw his head back letting out a few of his own grunts and groans.       “Oh holy fuck…” his eyes rolled back into his head “I’m sorry for what I said earlier baby”       She let out a whimper “Ji-Yong, shut--the fuck--up”       He chuckled before he let out a loud moan “oh fuck, babe--fuck--I think I’m gonna cum”       “Already?” she said breathlessly.       He looked at her through half lidded eyes “Yes already--shiiiiit--I’m surprised I could even get it up I’m pretty fucked up right now”       She raised an eyebrow “that makes two of us”       His moans began to get louder and louder, he usually wasn’t one to be super vocal during sex but when he was she took far too much enjoyment out of it.

      Her phone vibrated in her pocket causing her to pull it out to check who had messaged her.       “Mmm--really? You’re gonna--ung--check your phone right now?!”       She let out a moan as he picked up the pace “oh my fuuuck-- oh shit it’s--ung--Young-Bae”       “What?”       “I said--oh Jesus H. Christ-- I said it’s Young-Bae” she whimpered “He’s--he’s comiiing!”       “Shiit” he threw his head back again.       “J-Ji Yong you have like 45 seconds to get your shit together”       He breathlessly nodded his head and began to pound into her harder and harder until he could feel her clenching around his dick signaling that she was just as close as he was.       “Come on baby--fuck--cum for me”       Pulling him in closer causing her to leave scratch marks along his back she could feel that warm pit in her stomach beginning to build before she completely unraveled around him. Seeing her in complete ecstasy and feeling her clenching around his dick was all it took for him to become undone. Riding out their highs, Ji-Yong slowly pulled out as his chest was heaving up and down rapidly.       “Shit sorry, I was going to pull out before I came..” he said out of breath.       Just as winded he was, she pushed herself off the wall and with shaky legs made her way toward the shower and pulled off the detachable shower head to clean up.       He made his way toward her and held her from behind before placing a kiss on the top of her head.       She simply nodded her head in a delayed reply.       “Why--” he cleared his throat “why do you always come back to me?”       She turned toward him “I don’t know…maybe out of stupidity?...”       “You could have easily just let me bleed all over the place, flown home and not cared”       “I guess that’s my problem...”       “What is?”       “I care too much…” she sighed “I can’t just leave you alone, what if you had hurt yourself worse than you did tonight? I couldn’t let myself live with that weight on my shoulders if something had happened to you…I would never want you to hurt in any sense of the word”       He nodded his head “But what about when I hurt you? Doesn’t it make you angry? Doesn’t it make you want to walk away for good”       “Of course it does, and sometimes I wonder if you do it on purpose because you want me to end things because you’re too much of a coward to. You are probably the biggest, most narcissistic pain in my ass that I have ever met and yet still no matter what and out of sheer lunacy I will always come back to you. Because I unfortunately fell in love with you...”

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

      The car ride to Ji-Yong’s penthouse was a silent one, no one dared to utter a single word. When they arrived to his building Ji-Yong hopped out without a single ‘good-bye’ and headed toward the lobby; Seungri and Young-Bae followed suit behind him.       Seungri cleared his throat “Hyung, are you feeling hungry?”       “No…” he said in a monotone voice, not turning to face either man.       “Cause if you are thre is no need to be shy about it! I’ll even cook the meat just for you!”       No response.       “Yah, Ji-Yong-ah you need to eat something eventually, you can’t be on the medication without it” Young-Bae furrowed his brow.       “I said I’m fine…” he said walking into the elevator and pressing the button to his floor; the other two quickly hopped inside before the doors could close.       Seungri and Young-Bae awkwardly glanced at each other, both determined to get their gloomy friend to at least crack a smile.       “You know” Young-Bae smiled “now that you have that cast and everything, you can lie and say you fought a bear or something”       Ji-Yong let a puff of air out through his nose.       “Yea Hyung, you could say anything! I mean you could also say you punched a car but just leave out the reason why” Young-Bae smacked him on the back of the head.       Ji-Yong raised an eyebrow.       “Hyung...If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think she’s very happy with that guy anyway. Pretty sure I heard Rowan ask her that night what the whole deal with that guy was and Alex just said ‘wait what guy?’       Finally he cracked a smile.       Seeing the reaction he got from his Hyung the maknae continued with more feeling.       “AND, from what Sasha had told me Alex isn’t staying that far away from here”       Ji-Yong went wide eyed and turned to look at the maknae. Seungri wiggled his eyebrows.       “Whoa ok slow your roll there wingman” Young-Bae interjected “Don’t really think adding stalker to the broken fist is a good idea. I think he’s done enough for one day”       “Tsk, come on Hyung!” Young-Bae looked at the hopeful look in his best friend’s eyes and sighed.       “Look if you really want to talk to her, go tomorrow huh? I don’t think seeing you in a Chanel dress shirt covered in your own blood is a good look for anybody”       Ji-Yong looked down at his shirt.       “Ok he’s got a point there Hyung…” the maknae eyed him up and down.       The doors to the elevator opened up to Ji-Yong’s floor and the three of them continued onto the hallway toward Ji-Yong’s place. Reaching his front door, he pulled out his keycard and opened the door and before the other two could come in Ji-Yong paused and turned to face the other two.       “Thanks for looking out for me like you guys did today”       “Hyung did I just imagine it or did he actually thank us for something?”       “You know what Seungri I think he did” Young-Bae smiled.

      “I know I haven’t been the best leader to you all, let alone best friend in the past few months but I want you know know that I sincerely appreciate you all putting up with me…”       “That’s all we’ve been wanting to hear!”       “Any time Hyung-ie~!”       “With that being said, I want to be alone” Ji-Yong stepped inside and slammed the door before either of the other two could get a word in edgewise.

      After the events that took place throughout the day, Ji-Yong wanted nothing more than to pour himself into bed. Getting to his room he shut the curtains, turned off the lights and mid taking off his shirt he winced at a sharp pain shot right up his arm; he had forgotten he broken his knuckles.       “Tsk, well I guess this is ruined” he muttered to himself observing the damage he had done to his favorite dress shirt.       He tossed it in the general direction of his waste basket and plopped face first into his bed. When had he gotten to this point in his life? When did he begin to feel so lonely in a room of thousands? The ironic thing was that he found solace when he was actually alone. Truthfully he had nothing to complain about, he had it all: fame, money, souped up cars, even all the women he could ask for. But despite everything he had, there was still one thing he was missing; her. He rolled over on his back and pulled out his phone from his pant pocket, scrolling through his photos he’d found some silly pictures he had taken of the members, the further he scrolled the more fond memories came clamoring back into his head. But there was one 30 second, black and white video at the end of his camera roll he never remembered taking. He pressed the play button and it was just himself on his bed staring into the camera. The Ji-Yong in the video looked to someone outside of the frame and smiled.

      ‘Babe what are you doing?’ the voice laughed.       ‘Nothing just waiting for you’ he smiled again.       ‘You are such a weirdo’ the voice laughed again.       ‘Yea but you’re the one who made the mistake in dating me so--’ he raised up out of frame and when he came back down onto the bed he brought a giggling Alex down on top of him. He briefly kissed her before he tucked a wet piece of hair behind her ear. He moved the camera closer to their faces.

      ‘Eww Ji-Yong no, I look so gross right now I just got out of the shower’       ‘No way, I honestly wish you could see how I see you through my eyes’       ‘But if you’re looking at the world through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags’       He smiled again ‘I love you’       She sighed ‘I guess I love you too’ her eyes flickered to the camera ‘Okay, let’s just turn this off now’       ‘No baby wai--’

      His screen cut back to the thumbnail.       Of all the stupid things he had done thus far in his life, his biggest regret was the day he let her go.