#also my brain is like 'you need to lose more weight for the next time you see him'

[whsprings]

I love reading the notes doctors leave in mychart like buddy,, we never talked about that,,, and that other thing is just blatantly wrong,,, you clearly are really paying attention to me

[sweetadonisbutbetter]

Good day to you, I adore your stories and it would be interesting to read fan fiction about the Hotel Hazbin Adam×Reader | woman| as Adam's third wife who is pregnant with his child, what will be his actions before birth and after, if it seems strange to you, then you can not write or not respond to my request, I will not be offended💗) Have a nice day/evening Sorry for my bad English, I'm Spanish;^

RAHHH THANK UOU SMM ☹️☹️ it’s not strange to me i would love to write this 😁😁 also yr english is perfect!!! i will write this as if they were in heaven, so it’s a little more shocking, and it will be a mix of a fic and headcanons

New Life, even after Death | Adam x AFAB!Pregnant!Reader

Relationship: Romantic Warnings: MENTIONS OF (PAST) ABUSE!! it is a brief mention and doesn't carry much weight but it is there regardless. Mentions of pregancy and birth, light NSFW, Adam being Adam

You needed to check if your eyes were seeing things correctly, or if you needed glasses. After all, there wasn’t any way that you were seeing two lines. You stared at it for a moment, unsure of what to do. After a moment, you snapped out of it before hurriedly grabbing the other test that sat on the counter and using it.

Now you had 7 tests in front of you, all with two pink lines on the little screen. You were holding the last one, waiting with anticipation to see what it would say. However, you knew what it was going to say, the previous ones had the same response. You had to face the reality that you were pregnant.

You are pregnant.

You were wracking your brain as to how this could be possible. You were in the afterlife, there was no way you could be pregnant. Not that you weren't overjoyed, you were elated. In life, you had trouble conceiving, much to your disappointment. It seemed that your husband at the time was also disappointed, killing you after your nth attempt and nothing to show for it. In your final moment, you couldn't help but feel a bit relieved, thankful that you had never had children with that man, in fear that he would do the same to them. After passing with no biological children of your own, you had grown to accept that you wouldn't ever have any.

When you first entered heaven, you were uneasy with how many children's souls there were. However, with time, you grew to enjoy the company of them. Playing with them while on your way to places or when you had the time, before either you had to leave or they were called out too. It warmed your heart and helped heal that small part of you that mourned never having kids. It helped you strive to be better and to experience the joys of being a mother. It was also how you had met your current husband, Adam.

You have no idea how it happened; one moment one of the children was introducing you to the first man, next thing you know, you were walking down the aisle with him standing at the end. You weren't one to complain, he was so sweet and patient with you. He was the first one you told your past to, from your childhood to your trouble conceiving, to even your terrible first husband. He held you tight as you cried and recounted the last half of your life. In turn, he told you of his life on earth. His life was like being married twice, and raising his kids and ancestors. His favorite pastime was watching humanity, the small acts of kindness from one person to another.

Of course, he had his faults, he was human. He would mock and laugh when people did stupid things. When someone he saw as not worth his time, he was known to wave them off without much thought. He would get angry over the smallest of things, and throw small tantrums when he didn't go away. Ever clingy when there was another male, in fear of losing you much like he did both of Lilith and Eve. You could list all his faults and flaws, yes, however, you could also list his virtues. 

All in all, you loved your husband and knew that he loved you in return. It seemed that now, you both would have something to love just as much. You dragged yourself out of your thoughts as you looked down at the test, seeing that it had the results.

You stood in the bathroom that you shared with Adam, holding the final pregnancy test as it showed the same results; the same two pink lines that repeated over each test. Overwhelmed at the prospect of having a child now,  you fell to your knees as tears began to build up in your eyes. You were going to have a baby.

A baby. 

The thought became overwhelming and you sank into a full-on sob. There you were on your shared bathroom floor, crying like a baby as your wings were wrapped around you, doing your best to soothe yourself. Clutching the pregnancy test to your chest, you hunched over so that your stomach was touching your knees. You were so happy, so sad, so confused at the whole thing that once you finished crying, you just sat there for a while, staring at the wall. You were so out of it that you didn’t hear the knocking at the door or someone walking in. 

“Hey sorry to barge in but Adam is looking for yo-oh.” A voice snapped you out. You turn to the voice and see Lute, still fresh in her exterminator outfit. Once she gets a good look at your face, she tenses for a moment, before dropping her weapon and rushing to your side. “Hey- is..is everything alright? What happened?”

Unable to say anything, you pull the test away from your chest, showing Lute. She took a moment, looking at you weirdly before taking it. After a while, her eyes widened as she turned to you.

“How?” She questioned, to which you could only sob-laugh in response. She didn’t say anything, just looking at the test that was still in her hands. You both sat there on the floor for a while, before another voice rang out in the house. 

“Hey, sugar tits. I��m home.” Shuffling came from the front of the house as you and Lute shot up, looking at one another. Both of you scramble to your feet and leave the bathroom, grabbing all the numerous tests and taking the one from Lute. “Damn. Where the fuck is she? She normally runs to greet me.”

Lute picks up her weapon and leaves the bathroom first. She hesitates for a moment, looking back at you with a twinge of concern, to which you nod, assuring her to go ahead. 

“Go ahead. I just…need to gather my bearings first.” She nods and leaves. As she leaves, you hear Adam begin to question her. Now alone in the bathroom once more for a few moments, you do your best to make it look like you weren’t sobbing your eyes out and figure out how to tell him.

You can’t help but think of his reaction. Would he be happy? Upset? You couldn’t fathom the idea of him getting upset, recounting his stories of when he took care of his firstborn. The fondness that was not only in his tone but also in his face showed that he did enjoy being a father. However, it had been over a millennia since he took care of a baby. Would he even want kids? You shake the thought and take in a deep, albeit shaky, breath. Leaving the bathroom and going to the front of your home, there you saw Adam. He stood by the front door, his mask removed and looking entirely bored of the conversation he was currently having with Lute. His eyes lazily move across the room before they land on you, he seemingly brightens before ignoring Lute and running to you. He grabs you by your side, spinning you before pulling you into a kiss. 

Startled by his reaction at first, it took you a moment before you returned the kiss. Placing one arm is thrown over his shoulder while the other flies to his hair, gripping it.  You make sure to keep the test firm in your grasp and not drop any. Feeling him smirk into the kiss, he begins to nip at your lip, attempting to deepen the kiss. You hear Lute clear her throat, stopping both you and Adam from furthering the kiss. Adam smacks his teeth in annoyance, looking at Lute.

“What? Can’t you see I am greeting my beautiful wife?” He says, squeezing you a little closer to him. Lute rolls her eyes before looking at you at the hand that had 7 tests back to you. You don’t say anything but instead smile softly at her, assuring her she can leave.  She nods to you, taking her leave. With Lute gone, Adam smirks, before looking at you and snuggling his face into your neck. Giggling at the feeling of his stubble tickling your cheek, you pull him away by his hair. He grunts softly, the tug not too painful for him. You spend a moment looking at him, smiling at the look of your husband as you swear he has hearts in his eyes. You opened your mouth with the intent to greet him, however it seemed that your voice didn’t agree with what you wanted. 

“I’m pregnant.” 

Once again, it takes a moment before Adam responded.

“What?”

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

He passes out lol

He was not expecting that information after coming back from an extermination

Once he wakes up, you hand him the various tests, all showing that you are indeed pregnant

Very confused as to how you are pregnant like you both are dead? nothing should be working as it would

You both go to the seraphim and ask if they know what is going on

They don't lol

If anything, they are the MOST confused as to how this is happening

After the initial confusion, Adam is overjoyed to be a father again!

Literally tells everyone he talks to in any manner

"HEY FUCKFACE I GOT MY WIFE PREGNANT!" "Adam. That's the mailman." "HE NEEDS TO KNOW-" "Sweetie, no-"

In other words, word spreads fast.

Before you know it, all of heaven is literally congratulating you when you step out of your house

A lot of glaring at Adam, who just smiles and acts all innocent

Now that he knows, say bye-bye to independence.

Of course, he will give you space when you need it, but if you don't say anything he is most definitely hovering over you.

In your first trimester, he isn't as clingy, actually the most laid back throughout the entirety of your pregnancy.

Second and Third are his worst phases, never leaving your side at ALL- literally walked into the women's restroom after you (you promptly kicked him out, stating you just needed to piss)

When you start to show, he coos at your stomach, touches it, and sings rock songs to it.

Also will get you clothing that pronounces your pregnant belly

sure he would get you loose, more comfortable clothing too, but literally is so obsessed with your belly 

Compliments you all the time, rubs you from head to toe when you ask

Coaxes and reassures you that he loves you, even as your body changes 

Speaking of body changing: boobs

He will grow more obsessed with your boobs as they grow bigger from the milk

Will ask you numerous times throughout and post-pregnancy if he can drink from them 

Kinda won’t stop until you cave, he just wants to try it so bad. The last time he dealt with a pregnant woman, was Eve and at that time he didn’t even know it was an OPTION. so seriously heaven-bent on trying it

His other kids, the ones he had with Eve, are elated to have a new half-sibling. 

Because of this, when you throw a parent shower (You and Adam elected to be surprised for the gender), you gain a ton of stuff. Somehow got 3 strollers, a huge chunk of clothing for about the first 1.5 years of the baby's life, and a lot of toys. 

The seraphims even went and gave you a personal gift for you and you alone.

Even with all the preparation, when your water broke, Adam was NOT prepared in the slightest.

Panicked and forgot all the important stuff while you were hunched over, holding your tummy as you waited to be fully dilated. 

You had a private room to yourself to give birth, Adam by your side the whole time, a worried look on his face. He remembered when Eve gave birth, the pain and fear on her face mirrored that of yours.

However, in the end, everything was alright.

After squeezing the life out of Adam’s hand, most likely cutting off all circulation in it, you gave birth to a little girl.

Adam was beyond elated, loving his little girl so much even though she was covered in vernix, blood, and mucus.

Having mainly sons, anytime his daughters just existed in front of him, he couldn’t help but be elated at their existence. 

Couldn’t wait to hold his daughter and feel her tiny hand wrapped around his finger

Not that he wasn’t checking up on you the whole time, he was.

When the doctor and nurses who helped deliver his daughter whisked her away to clean her, his attention was solely on you

Murmuring against your skin, telling you how great you did, how lovely of a job you did, and overall praising you and making sure you were okay.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

“She’s okay?” You say, panting and entirely exhausted. He nodded and kissed your forehead. 

“She is perfectly fine. What about you mamas? How are you?” He asked, wiping the hair that clung to your sweaty forehead. You could only nod as you tried to catch your breath. He smiles, relieved that you are okay.

You both stay there for a while while waiting for the doctor to come back. While waiting, you can’t help but think of how surreal this all was. You were finally having your baby, after your whole living life of wanting one, praying, and getting nothing in return. But now? You were watching the door for the doctor or nurse to walk in at any moment with your little girl, as your husband held your hand and stroked your hair. 

Eventually, a nurse entered the room, with a small bundle of pink and purple. Adam stayed by your side as the nurse made his way to your side, handing your baby to you.

“She is perfectly healthy. Just wanting mom at the moment.” He says before leaving you, your daughter, and Adam. Holding her in your arms was a type of bliss you couldn’t help but tear up over. Here she was, your joy, the love of your life, your world, planet, and stars. Tears slip out as you kiss her forehead, the feeling of her wispy hair tickling your lips.

“She looks like you.” Adam softly says after a moment. You look at him and see he has the look of utter softness and love on his face. You smile in return, tears still running down your cheek.

“What? She just came out? I don’t think she looks like anyone just yet.” You say as Adam presses his hand against your cheek, wiping away some of your tears with his thumb. 

“I know. But if she is anything like you, I just know she is going to light up the whole afterlife.” 

You sob a little more, putting your hand over his and close your eyes. 

“How did I get so lucky?”

“I think I am the one that got lucky,” Adam says, causing you to open your eyes. He leans in to peck you on the lips, you lean in turn. After the kiss, you rest your foreheads against one another, relishing in the bliss of the moment. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

RAHH AND THATS IT!!! I HOPE U ENJOYED IT ANON AND ANYONE WHO READ THIS FAR-

i went into this not an adam lover, and i came out one as his no. 1 fan. i love writing characters i wouldn't normally. lets me think about them more than i normally do LOLL I wanted it end it off on the sweet note, so if there is more that was wanted i apologize but regardless, i loved loved lovedd writing this super soft and fluffy

i just checked my word count how is this almost 3k words what the hell

[deafsignifcantother]

alastor just being weird

♥ summary: alastor wanting you solely for the fact that you smell delightful so he starts searching your room ♥ relationships: alastor x [deaf] woman reader, deafness not a major point ♥ word count: 600 ♥ notes: reader wears makeup, she likes photography, she also doesn't really gaf about alastor being snoopy and weird LOLZ

Now that you're not in here, he can look around. He's welcomed himself into your empty room, eyes roaming everywhere except the attached bathroom, of course. He's immoral but not indecent. Where should he even start?

As the hotelier, it is his job to meet and make the guests comfortable. To be able to do that, he needs to know more about you, which is out of kindness and does not relate to how good you smell or how he would enjoy making you his next meal, most be mistaken.

Your dresser's drawers are a good start.

Just a standard assortment of socks and underwear, some salacious as any demon would have, neatly arranged. One pair of fishnets, a small collection of photos, a camera, a notebook. Do you always keep things like this? Or did you develop a new habit after the sudden move-in. He is hoping to find a clue as to who you are, and notebooks have saved him a lot of times before. He lightly picks it up and flips it open. Blank pages. Do you write in invisible ink? His claws finger through the pages one at a time before he bends them and watches them fly by. There's nothing.

He's wasting time. He places it back and lifts up the photos. The red sky above. One is a long shot of the pentagram with the Hazbin Hotel in the center.

In the next drawer there are no clothes, only a single makeup bag and accessories. Mismatched earrings, it seems you have a habit of losing one of every pair and then stashing them away—in case you find the other?

Alastor opens the drawer closest to the ground. Empty except for what he can only guess is a miscellaneous drawer. The brush smells like you from the multiple hair strands wrapped around it. His nose twitches; how delightful. He reaches for it slowly, brain rocking back and forth in his skull. But by the time he grips the handle, it's too late to stop. The bristles meet his nose, and he takes a whiff, savoring the pleasant fragrance that fills his lungs. He puts it back before he gets carried away.

Your room has a lovely and quite large wooden wardrobe. As he expected, when he opens it, there is space needing to be filled. His smile twitches at the soft gust of your smell; the scent assaults his hunger.

His index claw drags down a long sleeve, wrapping around the material and bringing it up to his nose. Even when clean, you've corrupted the cotton.

The moment the door opens, he fades into the shadows. He stands before the bathroom door as you step out in a robe, fresh out of the shower. It's the robe he gifted you, a welcome gift. He'll never tell you it's for capturing the soapy aroma of your wet body.

You look behind him, eyes flickering back. His smile tightens. Ah, he left the wardrobe's door open.

Alastor straightens his suit, shoulders a bit taut from embarrassment. He makes a show of brushing off his sleeves while you stand in the same place; the weight of your stare makes him sweat. "Well, my dear, I'm afraid I must be off, one can't even imagine the things I'm busied with!"

He looks up at you, his monocle hiding one of his eyes, his expression unreadable while he waits for a response. His wavery pupils match the small, excited shake of his hands. He doesn't leave immediately, curious him.

"And 'be off' you may," you walk past him, signing in simple pse to strengthen your point, not acknowledging him further. Your hand rests on the wooden frame, getting a small glance inside the wardrobe before closing it softly. By the time you turn around, Alastor is gone.

[vixenobrian]

Seeing Ghosts

This is the first fic I've written here, so I hope you enjoy it!

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x reader

---------------------------------------------------

"Bradley honey, I'm home!"

No answer.

I sighed, setting down the groceries on the island countertop. I knew he was home, the Bronco sitting in the driveway was a clear indication of that, but I also knew why I had received radio silence.

"How was Mav?" I asked, almost scared of the answer myself.

"Mav's fine hun." Bradley retorted. He must have been upstairs in the bedroom, hiding away from me. I understood how hard this must have been on him, but not seeing my husband run down the stairs and greet me with a kiss when I walked through the door still kind of hurt my feelings. Still, I knew how important his space was after his visits.

"How are you bubs?" I called back. Nothing.

Mav had been in and out of the hospital for months now, more and more parts of his body slowly giving way. For a man who wasn't supposed to live past his 30s, everyone was certainly surprised to see it was in fact old age that did him in. Recently though, it was his brain that was going, and this seemed to be the hardest on everyone.

Bradley had been struggling, badly. Between his parents and Ice, Mav was the only one he had left, and to see him slowly slipping away, losing both his body and mind at the same time? Bradley had barely been able to stand it. Each night he would come home after visiting, crawl into bed, and simply lay his head on my chest and cry. I really wasn't sure what else to do at this point, other than be there for him.

I sighed, grabbing the fancy bottle of wine I picked up from the grocery store, before heading upstairs. We both needed a pick me up, and what better way than a good wine, and a home-cooked meal.

"Roos, darling," I called, slightly pushing open the door to our bedroom. I vaguely caught a glimpse of his figure, but I pushed right past it, wanting to grab the things I knew he needed and was probably avoiding. When he got like this, he tended to neglect his medicine, and I knew if I took a glance at him, I would have too. I grabbed the bottle off of the bathroom counter, seeing it right next to his spread-out shaving kit. I pushed back into the bedroom, finally looking him in the eyes.

"Roos, I have a- oh God!"

Rooster sat on the edge of the bed, his big broad shoulders slumped over in defeat. I could tell he had been crying by the dark red circles around his eyes, but none of this is what concerned me. Above Rooster's top lip laid no mustache, something he had worn with pride for years. He always considered it his best feature and took meticulous care in grooming it. I had never even seen him without it. I knew something had to have been terribly wrong.

I sat down the wine on the dresser, my excitement fleeting with the bottle, before reaching for his face. I brought my legs over him, straddling his lap, before taking his face into both of my heads. Immediately, I began to wipe his tears, while simultaneously peppering kisses to his cheeks.

"Roos, honey, what happened?"

"He called me Nick again."

My heart sank, pulling him fully into my embrace. I felt tears start to fall from my own eyes and the boy beneath me began to sob, shaking in my embrace. His hands clenched the back of my shirt, as I attempted to comfort him in his sorrows.

"Bradley, I am so sorry," I said. I felt guilty. I felt anger toward Maverick, even though I knew none of it was his fault. Still, he had hurt Bradley, my Bradley, and the anger that came with that radiated through me. I took a deep breath, trying to push these emotions down.

"I just want him to see me" He whimpered into my shoulder. My hand found the nape of his neck, slowly playing with his hair there. It was his comfort spot, and I felt him slowly relax into me, letting all of his body weight fall freely as if we were being combined into one. I let him lay here for a few minutes, switching between playing with his hair and rubbing his back, before slowly backing away, and once again taking his face into my hands.

"Bradley, honey, I am so sorry that happened to you, but I need you to know, no matter what happens, Maverick loves you so much sweet boy," I comforted, "and on top of that, I love you so much. So no matter what, you are loved, Bradley."

He pulled me in the back of my neck, planting a sweet kiss right on my lips. The lack of hair felt foreign to me and caught me off guard. I pulled away, still holding his face in my hands, when I noticed his cheeks turning a color red.

"So, how bad is it?" He asked genuinely, causing me to chuckle.

"You are still the most handsome man in the world Bradshaw," I told him genuinely, "but how long before it grows back?"

[tetsunabouquet]

Loved the interpretation and writing of my last request! If you dont mind, here's a new one. Tw! Anorexia

Gom with a reader suffering from severe restricting eating to the point where they passed out in public or private, your choice. Again, sorry if this is triggering.

A/N: Thank you for the compliment! Trigger warnings for the readers up in the request

Akashi

-Don't expect this guy to be surprised. He has been suspecting it for a while. -When you faint in front of him, his heart sinks in that ultimate, 'Oh no,' moment. -Actually has a minor panic attack. -Flashbacks to his mom. -He'll do everything he can to wake you up. -Once you're awake, he'll have food arranged for you and he's guilt tripping you to eat it. -"Don't make me lose another person that I love."

Aomine

-Has actually told you before about how you should gain a little more weight as he notices the thinness but doesn't has the intellectual brain capacity to suspect something like an ED. -When you faint, it still doesn't registers in his mind but he does immediately recognize that you needed something to eat. -Momoi is the one to tell him she suspects your disordered eating, and Aomine's heart honestly breaks at the news. -He is demanding you to tell him which stupid idiot convinced you that you were fat, so that he can beat them up right now. -You are honestly touched to see him be so angry and upset on your behalf, he is so pure with his praise and love for you. -Demands that you eat with him at the Maji burger at least once a week and that you try to finish the meal he buys for you.

Murasakibara

-Like Aomine, he doesn't has any suspicions regarding the behavior itself but he does notices you don't eat enough. -Murasakibara just cradles you confused in his arms as Himuro tells him what to do next as well as mention his suspicions about your restrictve eating. -Murasakibara honestly stares at you like you're an alien creature as he has to process the idea that people can hate food that much, thank god you're unconscious and you can't see his face. -He makes up his mind to be the person to cure you of that hate. -Dumps pretty much all candy and snacks he has on him on you the moment you wake up all the whilst giving you a look as sweet and pure as the candy itself. -He increases little habbits like feeding you, because clearly you need it.

Midorima

-Has been taking calculated notes of how much you eat, but is afraid of coming off too strong so he refrains from daring to ask the question. -When you faint he has the most perfect response ever, and manages to stay calm even though he is breaking down on the inside with worry. -Confronts you sternly but lovingly once you wake up, he only wants the best for you. -Reads multiple books on how to be a supportive partner. -Honestly he's adorable with how hard he tries to be there for you. -After the event, he prepares you a bento in the theme of your lucky item of the day, always. Even on the days you can't bring yourself to eat it, he doesn't minds and just hoped carrying the lucky item themed lunch brought you courage in different ways.

Kise

-Knows. Immediately. -As a model, he has far too much model contacts not to know about that dark side of the industry so he knows all the signs. -Is the only one to have confronted you about it before it got to the fainting stage. -Honestly he bawls like a baby when you faint in front of him, because this was exactly like he feared. -He manages to get the number of a great treatment program from another model that is combatting her own ED after you woke up again and got him to calm down. -Tries to feed you all the time whilst acting as cutesy as possible, full idol mode. Because he hopes it will do the trick. -He tries to uplift you by talking about his own insecurities, as being under the limelight does also open him up to scrutiny way more then the average person.

[jenniferjareauwife]

Hi!! So this just popped into my head... Reader and JJ aren't in a relationship but there are feelings... So things get heated during a girls night when they play twister (you can add Emily and Garcia in the girls night if you want).. Also please add smut

Twister

pairing: jennifer jareau x fem reader

category: smut

warnings: fingering r receiving, clit play jj recieving

word count: 962

summary: girls night gets heated 😏

"Ok...right hand red." Emily announced from the couch. I groaned and reached under JJ, my body spread out across the whole mat. My whole body was aching but this wasn't a bad position to be in. JJ's boobs were in my face and I wasn't complaining. "Left leg green." JJ lifted her leg up over me so she was straddling my back.

"Fuck." I whispered.

"What?" JJ asked.

"Nothing." I replied quickly.

"Anyone want a margarita?" Garcia asked from the bathroom counter. JJ and I were the only ones remaining. Penelope and Em had gotten out towards the beginning. I swear I remember JJ pushing Emily off the mat a bit.

"Left hand yellow." I reached across the whole mat and I could feel myself shaking. It was getting really hard to hold myself up. I shuddered as I felt JJ's pelvis press against my ass.

"How you doing down there y/l/n?" JJ asked with a grin. She knew I was losing it. She put a little more weight on my body and I was a goner. I collapsed underneath her and let out a deep breath. "I'll take you up on that margarita Penelope." She stood up and walked to the kitchen. I looked over at Em who gave me a knowing look.

"Shut up." I whispered to her, getting up to get a margarita. JJ walked behind me, her hand grazing my lower back. My head snapped back to look at her I saw her shit eating grin. She knew what she was doing.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." JJ announced, walking into her room to go to the private bathroom, giving me a look, telling me to follow her. I spilled a bit of margarita on my shirt.

"Oh shit. I have to go change my shirt." I looked towards Penelope who was focused on something else and Emily who have me a knowing look. I walked to her room and shut the door, taking my shirt off, about to put on another one before I felt strong arms wrap around my waist.

"You have no idea how hot you are." She undid the button and the zipper of my jeans. My heart fluttered in my chest, turning around to face her. There were too many times where we had found ourselves alone in rooms, too close together. We'd kissed but we've never gone this far, never. "Is this ok?" JJ whispered.

"Other than the fact that Emily and Garcia are in the next room, this is everything I've wanted." I breathed out.

"I can tell them to leave." Her hands ran down to my breasts. "I don't want a cock block again...not when I've waited so long for this." Her hands reached up to my face, cradling it. This was tender. Almost too tender.

"I want you." I whispered. "I really want you." She smiled and pulled me down onto the bed with her.

"They can show themselves out." She muttered before bringing my face in for a sweet kiss. I immediately felt my brain go fuzzy, my entire body just melt into her. I've waited for this for so long and it didn't even feel real that it was finally happening. So much teasing, so many ruined moments lead up to this. I needed her so bad.

"JJ please touch me." She reached down between my legs and gently caressed my pussy.

"Like this?"

"More." I groaned. She pulled my underwear down and get how wet I was.

"This is all for me?" She confirmed. I nodded and eagerly, hiding my face in her neck and kissing it tenderly.

I gasped as she slipped one finger into me, her other hand reaching over to her nightstand to grab a small vibrator, holding it against her clit. I moaned at the sight, feeling my abs clench. "You ready for another one?" She asked, looking up at me with so much love.

"Yeah." My head lulled to the side as she fit another finger into me. "Oh God."

"Feels good?"

"So good." I bucked my hips up to meet her thrusts, watching as her body twitched, her reactions to the vibrator. "I-I wanna touch you. Please."

"Ok baby. You can touch me." She took the vibrator off her clit and readjusted me so that I was straddling her thigh, riding her fingers slowly as she laid down on her back. I sunk two fingers into her easily, finding her clit and kissing her stomach, my hips gently lifting and going back down every few seconds. "Y/n...baby I'm close."

"Me too." I rode her fingers a bit faster and blushed a deep red when I realized she was thrusting in time with me, desperately needing to send me over the edge. "JJ...Jayje. I'm gonna cum." I warned her before I released all over her fingers. I felt her walls pulse and squeeze my fingers and I knew she had finished too.

I collapsed on top of her, catching my breath. She kissed my forehead, squeezing my waist before rubbing my back. "How do you feel?" She whispered.

"So good. You?"

"Amazing."

"I've wanted that...for so long." I said between breaths. "You have no idea."

"I've wanted it too baby." She kissed the top of my head. The pet names were making my heart flutter. "You look so pretty." She praised, making me blush.

"You're prettier." I pulled the covers up over us and took a deep breath before resting my head on her shoulder.

Everything felt perfect right now. It was like everything was clicking into place. JJ put her arms around me, pulling me as close as possible to her while kissing my forehead. "We should do that again sometime." I suggested.

"We definitely should.

[itsgodepi]

If I lose my mind | Ch. 3

Series summary: When you're buried under a mountain of problems and can’t seem to catch a break, it might feel like you need a complete reset. But did it really have to come with a one-way ticket to a new dimension? Surely, a little problem-solving would’ve done the trick. Or, one day you go to sleep as a normal person and the next you wake up as a Formula One driver. You've never been a fan but isn't it like, one of the most exclusive sports? Pairing: CL16, LH44, CS55, DR3 x fem!reader Chapter: Previous | Next Word Count: 2.7k Also on AO3

The fact that you are playing some kind of reaction game with tennis balls right next to a Formula One car, does nothing but further consolidate the theory that this is not real. You must be dreaming. Why would you find yourself in this situation otherwise? It does not make sense. 

Not only had he made you change clothes yet again, dressing you up in a strange white jumpsuit filled with even more logos —your surname and country’s flag somehow branded on its hip—, he had also paraded you around the place for what felt like an hour. Cameras had followed you through it all, this time with no intention of recording from the sidelines but instead walking right in front of you as you tried to navigate the crowded place. 

“Feeling alright?” Nick queries when you fail to pick the third ball in a row, his eyes scanning your figure as if you were about to drop dead right that second “We can sit down if you need to” 

“No, no, it’s okay” you reassure him, willing your mind to concentrate on the game despite the way your mind is running “Let’s try again” 

Nick shakes his head in disbelief, stealing one last glance at you before he looks at something behind your back. “Don’t worry, it’s time anyway. I’ll go pick up everything so you can prepare” and with that, he is gone. 

Leaving you alone, like he already knows you won’t dare to run away.

He returns with his hands full not much later, one of the objects catching your attention straight away, a light blue helmet that you remember well. The helmet from yesterday, the one that man dressed in the bright orange jumpsuit had freed you from.  

Nick silently helps you with everything he brought: from a pair of earphones to a strange white piece of fabric that resembles a ski mask, and finally the helmet. When you hold it in your hands, the weight and smooth texture makes a familiar feeling arise from inside of you, a sudden streak of excitement that travels like thunders through your body. 

“Do I have to?” you whisper, head lowered and eyes fixed on the helmet as you try to shake that feeling., flashbacks from yesterday coming instead to play on your mind. 

Nick can only laugh at that, his eyebrows furrowing “What do you mean? Of course you have to!”   

And although that mocking response irks you, you don’t fight it. Your brain is so overworked with theories that you are not even fully conscious of what you do or why exactly you keep listening to him. You cannot fathom what could they possibly have prepared for you. 

The helmet is easy to slide on, the new barrier drowning the noises coming from the garage even more than the headphones had. It does feel a little claustrophobic though, with the way it presses your cheeks up and restricts your field of vision. Nick places something on your shoulders while you try to get used to it, some clicks sounding at your sides before he gives your helmet a pat and guides you over to the white Formula One car. There, he exchanges a few words with the people surrounding the machine, the one closest to you turning his head to send a thumbs up your way. Nick steps aside then, letting you free access to the car.  

Confused, you look up at him, a hand coming up to slide the visor of the helmet up so he can see your eyes. Are you missing something? What does he want you to do to the car? See it? You have already been ogling it from the side for half an hour.  

When you take a second too long thinking, he stretches a hand out towards the car, as if inviting you to get inside. But you are quick to decline this offer “Oh, no thank you”, raising your voice a little and taking a step back to further prove your point.  

Is this-? Are they expecting you to drive it or something? These people are crazy.  

Nick’s grin is playful “Sure, whatever you say”, his eyes rolling at your refusal, reaching a hand out for you to hold onto as he invites you once again to step into the car. 

“What for? I don’t want to” you dismiss him again, harsher this time, as cross your arms over your chest to strengthen your stance.  

You have been trailing after him like a lost puppy all day, no questions asked. It is about time you stand your ground. Are they not satisfied with having you dressed like an idiot in the middle of a place you do not know? All while cameras film your every move like this is the Hunger Games.  

“C’mon, we are late, stop playing games…” Nick tries again, his voice way firmer than before.  

The argument attracts a lot more attention than you would have liked, the eyes of all the men previously working on the car, now set on you. Everyone seems to be as confused as Nick, low murmurs being shared around the garage as they give you strange looks. That is the case for Nick as well, like he hadn’t thought you rebelling against him was ever an option, like this is just routinary. And when you finally take the time to mull it over, you understand why this change on your attitude may be sudden. The reunion, the clothes, the helmet… It was all preparation.  

How have you been so stupid? 

The stare contest is only broken by the yell of a man that echoes through the garage. “Why are you still here?! Get in the car already!” he almost orders, a deep frown set on his face. You remember him, he was in the first meeting, seated right at the head of the table. 

That angry tone sets everyone around you into motion, Nick’s hand finding the back of your shoulder and pushing you to get in the car. And you want to step your foot down, get his hands off you and run away from this madness. But it all goes so fast.  

As soon as you get seated on the car, hands start flying all around you. They screw in the steering wheel, connect some things and help you tightening down the straps of a belt that straps you down to the seat. No way out. You look up at Nick, silently asking for help —as if he was not one of them—, eyes slowly filling up with tears.  

What are you supposed to do now? There are so many people around, there is no way you are getting away from this.  

While you try to make sense of this situation, even more things start happening around you. The rest of the men —they must mechanics or something— start stepping away from the car, uncovering the wheels and giving space to a man in front of you. He walks backwards outside the garage, his face turning from side to side while holding a hand up for you to wait until he deems it safe. 

Still, nothing prepares you for the switch you feel inside of you when the man signals for you to come forward.  

From the force with which you grip the steering wheel to the way your foot falls on the pedal, everything feels instinctive. Even the low rumbling of the car coming to life under your body feels strangely familiar and comforting. A second nature. The machine manages to roll out of the garage without trouble, as if you had been doing this your whole life and you were not terrified about what is to come. There is only one possible outcome, and it does not look good for you. 

Thankfully —or maybe not so much—, your brain seems to shut down once the car passes through the garage door, the fear consuming your thoughts to such a point that you seem to go over the path in the blink of an eye. One minute you are giving one last look at Nick and the next you are being helped out of the car. The men in white had come to surround the car, one of them giving you a thumbs up and a pat to the helmet that had instantly filled you with relief. It is done, finished. You have not run into a wall, nothing bad has happened. 

And, although the fact that you seem to know exactly how to control a Formula One car should by itself have sent you into panic mode, that will instead be a problem for future you to resolve. 

Yet, as it seems to be a recurrent theme by now, that happiness is short and sweet. When you are helped out of that awful deathtrap of a car, your eyes are finally able to get an image of the place you have so stupidly driven to. Even though the road had been limited by tall, wired fences the whole way, it is only now that you are able to see the thousands of people seated behind them. You can only look at them in utter shock, vision still restricted by this awful helmet that doesn’t let your breath properly, as you try to wrap your head around what could be happening here and why have you been thrusted in the middle of it. 

Some look back at you, their smiles widening as they hold up different flags and banners for you to see, but their attention is promptly stolen by something —or someone— behind you, cheers getting impossibly louder. You follow their gaze instinctively, brows furrowed because what more could possibly be happening. 

Well, what is happening is that another Formula One car has arrived. What the hell. Your gaze uselessly follows the car, its navy blue paint a complete contrast to the white of your car —why you would even call it yours is beside the point. Not only that, but as the people on the road move aside to let the machine pass, you feel the fear that has been bubbling inside you for hours on end now, reach a new peak. The image of at least 10 other Formula One cars lined up is finally discovered before your eyes. 

The dots connect way too slowly as your eyes fly from one car to another, heart pumping blood on your ears like it is about to burst out of your chest. Had that lap been a simple warm up, a stupid way to get the cars in place for an actual race? 

It is a miracle that you manage to stand upright and follow one of the men dressed in white despite the way your legs are locking up. Breath heavy as if you had run a marathon. In hopes of calming yourself down, you reach up to take off the helmet and that stupid mask, both objects being held close to your chest as if someone was going to come and steal them.  

With this newfound freedom you try to gather your bearings for the nth time today. But, how can you, when your field of vision is filled with freaking Formula One cars of every color imaginable? Your chest can only tighten in fear of what is to come.  

The man guides you through the mass of people gathered around the cars, a couple of them sending smiles and words of encouragement your way as if you wanted to do anything other than scream your way out of this place. Everyone is just bubbling with an energy that your body cannot match, the mix of screams and cheers sending you further down into an anxiety attack instead. You feel like a puppet, the strings pulling you around this unknown place while people record your every move with one of the hundred cameras flashing all around.  

This has to be a nightmare, there is no other explanation. It cannot be the real word. How and why would you be here if it was?  

Someone does steal both your helmet and mask before you are brought to a separated part of the road, the asphalt covered with a red carpet to kind of mark a VIP area. For some reason, he flies the scene after that, leaving you completely alone in the middle of a road surrounded by a million cameras and strangers dressed from head to toe in one single color like this is a fucking film.  

The loneliness does not last long though, as you are yet again approached by another stranger and that recurrent phrase. “Congrats on P10!” a man dressed in a black jumpsuit comes to stand next to you, a smile being drawn on his lips as soon as your eyes meet “It’s your highest position yet, right?”  

Seriously, do you seem that approachable when you are freaking out or do these people just lack emotional intelligence?   

His question catches you off guard as much as the fact that he also talks to you in English, your brain scrambling to find a response that you do not have —because, well, it is your fist position ever, if that counts. You decide to mimic his grin instead, a curt nod as your answer since it looks more like an affirmation than a question.  

“Feeling nervous?” he queries right after, scrunching his nose as if he could feel the nerves running like thunders under your skin.  

For that you do have an answer: “A lot…”, but the reasoning behind it greatly differs from what he must be thinking about.  

Strangely enough, the sweet chuckle that he lets out brings a real smile to your lips, and even more so the calming words and praises that follow. That he knows you will do well, everything will turn out alright, while he confidently assures you that you will be taking some points home today. He is sure of it. The men from the meeting had said something similar, their ‘don’t be greedy’ has stayed at the back of your mind ever since. 

“You already know this but, be careful, the start is pure chaos when you are on the middle of the grid” he advices you as well, looking back at the line of Formula One cars like he can see it unfolding before his eyes.  

But why is he being so nice? Who is he? Talking to you with such care while you cannot get a single word out, too freaked out to react to any of this information. Your eyes slip down on their own to the hip of his jumpsuit, the letters showing despite the fact that he is not wearing it zipped up completely like you do, but rather with the top part wrapped around his waist. There you find what probably is the United Kingdom flag —yeah, he does sound English— and what must be his name: Lewis. 

“Anyway, better not to talk about it. Let’s go!” the man proposes at last, pointing with a tilt of his head to the men gathered a few meters away.  

Even though any sane person in your situation would have turned down the offer and run away from all these strangers, you cannot help but follow him. The fear of being left alone in an unknown place is somehow overpowering your desire of escaping. Where would you run to anyway? With which money? And if you call the police, what would you tell them? Would you even be able to understand what they say? It is not like you had been able to read a single town sign on the way here.  

Still, when you finally focus your gaze on the group of men ahead, you wonder if all this is just an extremely well-prepared hidden camera show. Because not more than a few meters away, in that group you are walking towards is the man that has been flashing through your mind all day long.  

The man from yesterday, the person who held you in his arms as everything faded around you, in that exact same bright orange outfit. 

Next chapter

___

Author's note: From now on the updates will take a bit longer since this is what I had already written, so you'll have to be patient with me hahaha. Thanks for all the nice comments and interactions!

Taglist: @purplephantomwolf @raye2000 @yuiiimd @drezzerk33 @leclercdream

[winonaparadise]

short story 💯

wrote a very quick story about a class i took in college. if you like my writing in my videos you may like this

Five years ago today I was clawing through state university. I had switched majors in an effort to come away with something more material from my college experience – but I was also trying to earn as many credits with as few courses to keep my schooling short and cheap.

I took a heavy weighted class in “media law.” A subject notoriously as intricate as it is absolutely fucking stupid. Anything you could learn, Disney will change tommorrow. The professor was an adjunct, splitting his time between the humble basement where boys with Pulp Fiction posters in their dorms fiddled with cameras and the actual law school where he was employed some miles down the road. I have never seen Pulp Fiction, but I’ve fiddled with enough cameras and enough of the boys who own them to have reviewed it twice. This is not a problem to me now.

Then I was stupid. Twenty. And basically friendless. I spent all my time trying to make something the same way the universe spent billions of years pouring hot soup into holes and hoping life would bubble out. I studied Japanese during quiet matches of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds. I never got a win, and I never got an “A” in Japanese.

Weeks of school went by as I skimmed textbooks, got high, and thought about talking to literally anyone. Academic words danced around the edges of my brain like sand. I wrote essays on the same autopilot I write today. Feverish. Flowing. Fantasizing about what it would be like to go out with someone instead of texting a girl who now lived in Japan and making ramen noodles while listening for footsteps in a digital warzone.

I did all my work. I submitted it on something called “canvas” that the muscle memory in my fingers still types in search bars to this day. I never checked my grades. I knew they were bad.

Classes dragged me through the week on a bungee cord. I lived a block away from the bulk of them and found myself drifting in halls of buildings I’d never attended just to keep myself from meandering back home to draw a bad comic about a girl who lived in hell. 

I knew nobody. I went nowhere. I struggled to do classwork alone on outdoor benches dreaming of someone speaking to me. I needed to live in hell instead.

My media law professor was late the weekend after our first term essays were due. I don’t know what mode of transportation he took to get from one school to the other but today the Carolina sun had drenched him sweaty. We were chilly waiting for him to begin.

“Just about every single one of you failed.” He spat and chugged coffee through the entire period. “While I first was grading I thought I was the one who failed.”

He didn’t let the moment of respite last. “But I also did something I’ve never done before.” He paced like my father did when a restaurant was closed early. “I gave out my first perfect score. Which prevents me from grading on a curve.”

He huffed, he assigned a new reading, and he rushed out like he had lit dynamite. “Do better!” “What an asshole.” The girl who sat next to me in every class spoke as if she had been holding her breath. “Fuck him and fuck whoever got that hundred.”

“I know right!” I launched in on her anger, feeling it too. Back and forth we complained. We walked off campus together. She had long blonde hair and towered over me. I had felt ugly and mousey next to her, but today I felt like her equal. It felt good to bitch.

“I got a fucking 50. What about you?”

“It wasn’t pretty.” I recalled how I stayed up the night before the assignment was due. I milked bullshit into a puree. I got a rush of adrenaline from killing someone with a shotgun through a door in an abandoned house on the outskirts of Pochinki. I was probably close to being expelled. “This class is too fucking hard,” she smoked and shook her head by a bus stop on Tate Street. “I’m not about to lose my freetime over it.”

“Right.” I imagined her at parties. Black silhouettes against colored lights and deafening music. Like The Social Network. “We should be partners for the next assignment,” she got out her phone and passed it to me for my number. I typed it in. I waved her off on the bus. We did the assignment together. We texted each other about our studies. We joked about finding the guy who got the perfect score and beating him senseless. I thought about talking to her about my art or what we were making in other classes, but never did.

Towards the end of the semester I had to plan the next. A whirlpool churned in my stomach as I clicked on “grades” on my campus’ online portal. I had an A+ in a single course. 

Media Law.

My friend from class texted me that she was dreading the final. I texted her that if we failed I would kill Mr. Perfect Score. She texted “lol.”

She passed the course. I got my degree so I assume I did too. We stopped texting.

That professor emailed me asking me to take a course at the law school down the road. He said he would let me sit in and see if I wanted to change majors a third time. I never replied.

A law degree would just make Mr. Perfect Score a hundred times more punchable.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Morning after

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 10

Prompt: First time

Rated: E

CW: Alcohol; Dirty talk; Sexually explicit language; Nudity; One slight mention of BDSM

Tags: Established relationship; Tongue fucking (referenced); Service mouth Steve Harrington; ADHD disaster Eddie Munson; Idiots in love

Eddie wakes to sunlight tickling his nose, limbs heavy with the warm weight of sleep - the kind induced by alcohol and exhaustion.

Memories of last night's gig trickle into his mind. The packed location. Strobing lights, bodies moving to their music. Steve beaming up at him from the front row, deliciously disheveled, eyes sparkling with adoration.

It's funny. A year ago, he was hiding from an angry mob in a dilapidated boat house. Now, one interdimensional war, a near-death experience, and a lot of hush money later, not only is Corroded Coffin finally taking off. He also got himself a hot sweetheart of a boyfriend who loves tagging along to his shows and gets ridiculously turned on by his stage performance. Life is finally looking good for Eddie Munson. 

Until he turns and finds himself at the receiving end of a death glare that would even have Vecna quake in his non-existent boots. 

Eddie yelps and tries to jump to his feet, but last night's leather pants are bunched around his ankles for some reason, so he ends up face-first on the carpet, naked ass exposed to the cool morning air. 

"Ow, son of a- Stevie?" he mutters. "Everything okay?" 

Steve is still in the chair next to the bed. He's still glaring. 

"Oh, wow," he says while Eddie scrambles to his knees and tries to inconspicuously shrug out of the pants. Why do these motherfuckers have to be so tight? "You actually need to ask after what you did?" 

Eddie blinks. His nose is stinging from where it hit the carpet. 

Steve huffs and snaps his magazine shut. Eddie has a sneaking suspicion he picked it up purely for dramatic effect. 

"So you don't even remember, huh?" 

"I, erm …" Eddie says, desperately rifling through his brain for a shred of a clue. "I'm sorry, I don't-"

Steve throws the magazine. It hits the carpet with a less-than-impressive flop but it's the gesture that counts, Eddie guesses. 

"I can't believe you," Steve seethes. The chair topples as he jumps up.

"Wait, wait, wait," Eddie holds out one imploring hand. Steve stops halfway to the door and regards him with a wary look. "Lemme just …" 

He screws his eyes shut, wills himself to pull images from the blur that is his memory. 

Getting crushed in a full-body hug the moment they got off stage, Steve's arms and warmth and scent all around him. 

Celebrating the successful gig, the lingering touches and looks and smiles.

Loading the equipment into the cars, saying goodnight to the guys. 

Getting slammed against the side of the van, Steve's hands under his shirt, against the curve of his ass. Steve's tongue licking over his lips, warm and wet and eager. 

"Woah, big boy. Maybe ask before you shove that tongue down my throat?" 

Steve's smug smile as he leaned closer, voice husky and low. 

"Let's get you home… and I'll shove it somewhere else." 

Throwing himself into the car, because hoooly shit! They've tried a lot of stuff in the months they've been together, all of it great, all of it mind-blowing in fact. Eddie’s had plenty of opportunity to witness that skilled tongue at work, but this? This was gonna be a first.

He remembers nearly vibrating out of his own skin on the way home, remembers grinning like a maniac as they pulled into the driveway, Steve's hand sliding up his thigh. 

Remembers tumbling into the bedroom in a flurry of limbs and moans and kisses, toppling onto the bed, hands tearing at clothes, teeth scraping over skin …

… only then, it gets decidedly more fuzzy. 

"Um, I-" he mutters. "We were … You were gonna … and I-" 

"You fell asleep, you fucking asshat!" Steve blurts. His face is doing that thing where he loses control of his bottom lip and it gets all pouty and quivery. An adorable, flustered blush is creeping out of his shirt collar and up his jaw. "You fucking fell asleep while I was about to- Jesus Christ, I don't believe this. This has never- why are you laughing?" 

"Baby," Eddie wheezes, and by some miracle manages to stagger to his feet and shuck off his pants. "Stevie. Darling. Light of my life. You realize that this is our first fight?" 

Steve scowls at him. "Maybe. So?" 

Eddie can't help it, he breaks into laughter - full-blown, body-wrecking guffaws. "And it's because you didn't get to eat me out? Oh my God, I can't- only you, sweetheart!" 

"Fuck off," Steve grouses, but he doesn’t pull away when Eddie reaches for his hands, and the corners of his mouth are twitching the tiniest bit. The blush has reached his cheekbones. "Do you have any- I was down there, all ready to go and you started snoring! Nobody has ever fucking fallen asleep on me!" 

He's looking positively mortified now, one hand freeing itself from Eddie’s grip to run through his hair, eyes wide and confused - like a scolded puppy that doesn't understand what it did wrong. 

"Aw, honey," Eddie coos, cradles Steve's face in one hand, slots their bodies closer. He's still very much naked from the waist down and he can pinpoint the exact moment this dawns on Steve. The way he licks his lips. "I'm sorry. That gig was a lot, and I guess I just … crashed? You just make me feel so warm and safe and cared for." 

Steve hums reluctantly, but his chest swells with the praise and he doesn't protest when Eddie slots himself into his arms, starts to slowly undo his belt buckle. 

"How about you take revenge on me now? We've got all day, so … you can go for however long you want. I won't complain, and if I do … you know where we keep the gag, huh?" 

Steve's pupils blow wide.

The rest of the morning passes in a haze, but sleep has nothing to do with it. 

All my holiday drabbles

[thezombieprostitute]

Dragonfly - Part 4

Summary: Steve has just about everything he could ever want in life. He's got you, a baby on the way, and a successful Family. No one would dare interfere with that. Right?

A/N: Reader is female, pregnant. No other descriptors used.

Warnings: Death threats, Implied violence, Pregnancy. Please let me know if I missed any!

Part 3 -- Part 5

Series Masterlist

Steve quietly approaches you as you're sitting on the couch, feet propped up, snacking on your favorite ice cream. You see him and smile, making him sigh, "how are you so damn gorgeous?"

You roll your eyes and chuckle. "So how was the meeting with Bucky? It felt pretty quick."

"That's because I may have figured something out," Steve hesitates. "I want you to know I'm already having everyone double check, triple check my idea but, I think I know who Dragonfly is."

That gets your attention. You set the ice cream to the side and sit up, gesturing for Steve to join you on the couch. He sits and pulls you into his lap.

"Do you remember the night we first met?"

"How could I forget?" you scoff. "Wait...what's his name? The guy who drugged Monica?"

"I think it's him."

"That would certainly explain why I was targeted."

"After he got caught, rumor has it Kent's men made an example of him. Left him permanently scarred and dropped to the bottom rung of the group. Used him as a courier. Serious cut to his income, among other things."

"And he got caught because of me," you whisper.

Steve nods. "And with Kent's estate in a kind of limbo, he can't afford to keep an eye on all of his underlings so Walker is taking advantage of the lack of oversight." You shudder at the thought of that man walking around freely and Steve holds you tight. "I promise I'll keep you and Jack safe. No matter the cost, you are my priority."

"Don't say that," you scold. "There is such a thing as too high a cost."

"Not for you and Jack," he asserts.

"I don't want to lose you," you argue. "I've made peace with the fact that your job is dangerous but this man isn't stable! Promise me you'll keep yourself safe as best you can! I know you don't always think before you act when I'm in trouble."

"Do you blame me? You're the best thing to ever happen to me. I'm allowed to go at least a little feral when it comes to protecting you."

"A little, maybe, but I need you to not rush into danger like a damn honey badger! We need you."

Steve deflates a little as he rubs your belly. You hate seeing his beautiful blue eyes so clouded but you're not backing down on this.

When he finally faces you he says, "I can't promise to not do anything stupid." You shrug and nod your acceptance of that. "But I promise I'll listen to the advice of others when it comes to getting this guy."

You hug your arms around his neck and bring him in for a kiss. "Thank you for that."

The next week is spent with focusing on the baby's arrival. It's coming up soon, just a few more weeks or so, and you're both relieved and scared.

It doesn't hurt that baby prep is also a good way to distract Steve. More than a few times Bucky and Sam have thanked you for keeping him busy so they can actually do their work and not have to worry about him personally following every lead. You're able to keep him distracted with setting up the nursery (he insists on painting and assembling everything himself) and with taking care of your physical needs. Ever since he learned how much it helps you to have him hold up your belly, alleviating a lot of the weight from your back, he's been willing to drop everything else to do it again.

For his part, Steve is also grateful for your distractions. Trying to keep his brain focused on all of the upcoming parties and meetings, your due date, security, not hunting down August himself, and more would likely leave him too frazzled to do anything. You help give him focus, directing his angry energy into productivity. He swears his admiration for you grows with each day.

He's in the middle of rearranging the nursery to your liking when Bucky knocks on the door frame, "we got the confirmation. August Walker is the guy behind the Dragonfly contract. Financials confirmed he'd wisely held onto his savings after his fall. Added to it hear and there. But then a huge chunk got spent. The amount is an exact match for the down payment on the contract."

"Do we know where he is?"

"Not yet," Bucky shakes his head. "But all soldiers have been notified that, unless he's in one of our legitimate businesses, he's shoot-on-sight. If he is in one of our legit shops, he's to be reported and either stalled or followed."

"Good call," you add. "Make sure Sam's side of things stays clean, doesn't get investigated."

"Exactly," Bucky gives you a thankful look. He knows Steve would prefer to just have the guy shot on sight. Having your backing will help temper Steve's response.

Steve grunts, "fine. Just make sure I'm kept informed of every sighting."

"Of course," he nods before heading out.

Stepping out of the rocking chair you go over and hold Steve from behind. "I'm proud of you," you whisper.

"For what?"

"For not immediately storming out and burning down the city looking for him."

Steve grumbles, "only because you don't want me to."

"I can still be proud of you," you smile. "And I know you can feel little Jack moving around. He's proud of you, too."

That gets Steve to chuckle and you feel the tension in his body ease up a bit. He gently breaks your hold on him and turns around to embrace you.

"What more could I possibly ask for than my wife and child being proud of me?" he gently asks with a kiss.

Part 3 -- Part 5

Series Masterlist

Tags:

@alicedopey; @aryhyuuga; @cynic-spirit; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jamneuromain;

@jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @ktficworld; @leryg0; @rayofdawnworld; @rebekahdawkins;

@ronearoundblindly; @talesofadragon; @texmexdarling; @thiquefunlover63

[blackstarregulus79]

I'm going to ramble/character study about Rogue and the Doctor because I have brain-rot now...

btw nothing negative about their relationship in here, I love them.

It all traces back (in my head) to the 12th doctor (I could go back further but In an effort to keep this as short as possible I will not) when he has that last night with River. This is the last big loss the doctor feels because he knows he can't save her because she died before he even knew her. This left the doctor with a lot of feeling he never learned what to do with, and all of his companions after that never had a loss like this so how could he tell them and get any reaction other then 'yeah that sucks' none of them had been through that.

But Bill reminded 12 how to be happy and young and joyful which in my mind led to him being more forgiving of Missy and learning to trust her again but he thought in the end that she betrayed him leaving him another emotional scar.

That leads him to 13 who is so scared of loosing her companions and feeling that hurt again and that betrayal that she doesn't talk to any of them. She is too worried about opening up and sharing that side of her that she would rather hide everything then feel that pain.

But her and Yaz begin to fall into that trope of 'I want to love you, I just don't know how to any more' which breaks 13s hearts. So when she regenerates she is so tired of losing, hiding, and hurting so much that she regenerates into her old face trying to make her next self stop and take a fucking break.

That is when we get 14 who reigns he bond with Donna (one of his heaviest losses) and he starts to contemplate stopping and resting for one second but the guilt he feels towards everything he's done and how he feels that he owes it to his past companions to keep going.

Then his soul rips in half, and he can do both.

(I know this had been said before but stay with me)

And because of this 15 can express and feel what he is feeling (that is why he has been crying so much this season, because he is finally letting himself). But his companion, no shame on her or anything, can't really do anything but listen because she has never travel the universe with someone grow to care about them more then anything just for them to be gone.

And having a shoulder to cry on is nice and everything but sometimes it is nice to know other people have felt pain and loss like this, and to be told you are not alone. Make you feel like you are not crazy.

Then he meets Rogue. A man who has traveled with and lost someone, who can feel the weight of it, who is also somehow trying to figure out how to live with lose even though it is so fucking difficult. And the doctor gets told about how Rogue lost someone and he tells Rogue how he lost everyone. This is one of (if not the first) in a very long time who can says 'I have been through that to I know exactly how you feel'.

And even though the Master travels the universe they do it alone, they don't feel the lose of a companion like the doctor does.

And that is why they move so fast with each other, even getting engaged the first day they met, because they don't know when they are going to lose again. Their scared and want someone they can relate to.

And Rogue knows the pain and doesn't want the doctor to feel it again so he takes Ruby's place on the trap. But the doctor feels the pain anyways because he could see the potential with Rogue, and sometimes when you are that close to something you wanted it hurts just as bad.

SO WE NEED TO BRING ROGUE BACK SO THE DOCTOR HAS SOMEONE HE CAN RELATE TO, TO TALK TO!!!!! 15 JUST NEEDS SOMEONE TO HEAL WITH NOT FOR!!!!

Anyways thanks for listening to my ramble. I know the doctor could relate to Jack about this kind of thing but I think they have way too much history for the doctor to open up to him.

Here's my Spotify playlist for them if anyone wants it:

[winniethewife]

I know I'll be alright, But I'm not tonight 

(Commander Cody x F!reader)

Prompt: Remembering

Words: 717

Warnings: Angst, Grief

A/N: For my Event Nine weeks in hell and Angstember

Cody stood in the Negotiator situation room, looking around the empty spaces where his general and friends once stood. What was it all for? Can anything really be solved without bloodshed? He had just returned from his mission on Desix, he felt the sweat drip down his brow as he recalled the moment Crosshair had shot the governor. In all his years of fighting he had never felt shaken like this. He looked around the room again and felt the ever stronger absence of the people he had spent his whole life with. Where was Rex? Where were Fives and Echo? Where were Waxer and Boil? Where was General Kenobi? He knew, He knew they were gone. He felt an awful sinking feeling, the Negotiator was scheduled to be deconstructed and used for new ships in the next few rotations, the last place he had to remember everything he had gone though, every person he had cared about, He sighed deeply as he covered his face with his hand. He wondered what he was supposed to do.

“Cody?” a voice called out from somewhere in the ship, a familiar voice. A flash of memories cross his mind. Late nights doing paperwork together, even later nights drinking at 79’s, early mornings over a cup of caf. He turns to see her. Standing with her imperial officer’s uniform jacket slung over her shoulder and a worried look on her face. “There you are, I’ve been looking for you.”

“Sorry, I…I needed a minute.” Cody rubbed the back of his neck. He tried to seem casual about it but she knew him all too well.

“You’ve been needing a lot of time away lately.” She broached the topic carefully, closing the distance between the two of them. Cody’s shoulders fell in defeat, of course she had noticed. He leans against the Holo-       table in the middle of the room, she quickly followed suit.

“Do you…think we’re doing good things here? Are we making the galaxy better?” He was hoping this time he would get a different answer from her than he got from Crosshair. She let out a defeated sound, her head tilted back so she was looking at the ceiling.

“I don’t know Cody…It’s hard to say. I feel like…I have more questions than I did before, and I feel like the answers I get don’t inspire confidence. I feel like I did more on a daily basis when we were fighting in the war then we do now.” She looks over at him. “But…I really have my doubts.”

“I’m…also having doubts.” Cody said relief coating his words as he tears his gaze from her. “I’m starting to wonder, why this happened. We won the war, but we lost…everything.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. She gently put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently.

“He’s not dead Cody. They’re still looking for him.” She said softly. Cody looked up suddenly, He knew exactly who she was talking about. The General.

“How? I thought…they must’ve…really?” Cody felt like a weight came off his shoulders but an overwhelming feeling of guilt flooded his mind. He felt like his brain was short circuiting as he tried to find the words.  “I…I’m glad…I know I’m not supposed…I don’t…How am I supposed to feel?” He looked over at her, in his eyes she could see the conflicting emotions he was feeling.

“I don’t know. But I do know how I feel.” She scoots slightly closer to him “I spend my days looking over these reports, Order 66, the Jedi council, I can’t help but wonder…” Her voice trails off. Cody shook his head in disbelief.

“I can’t stay here, I want to make a difference, I want my choices to matter.” He takes her hand in his and squeezes it. She looks at him, and nods giving his hand a gentle squeeze in return. They both knew the rumors that had been circulating, about Clones going AWOL, about where they go. She doesn’t want to say goodbye. She doesn’t want to lose him too, and neither does he.

“We can’t stay here…” She whispered softly. Cody’s eyes lit up.

“So you’ll come with me?” He asked hopefully.

“I’ll go anywhere with you.” She confirms.

“Then let’s go…Anywhere but here.”

~

Masterlist

Taglist: : @silvernight-m @queerponcho @boredzillenial

[tea-and-secrets]

would it be ok to ask that this one is posted soon? i could use reassurance about it if thats alright? things are just... really hard.

im trying to come to terms with the fact that im going to be disabled for the rest of my life. i accept that im disabled *now,* but i have a degenerative disease, its not going to just stop being there. its going to keep getting worse slowly over time.

its especially hard because... even now i cant do my favorite hobby, rockhounding, because i cant bend without risking falling, i cant get on the ground to pick things up and/or dig because i wouldnt be able to get up on my own, and i cant navigate most off-road areas where the rocks im interested in are most often found.

i also desperately want to be a geologist. but i wanted more than anything to be doing fieldwork, like going out and taking samples from various areas, making maps of what could be found where based on my samples... that sort of thing. but ill never be able to do it and i have to come to terms with that.

it will get bad enough that i will need a wheelchair at some point in my life too. like, at some point within the next five to ten years.

ill also never be able to pick people up again. my whole life ive prided myself in picking people i love up during hugs, spinning them around, that sort of thing. i especially loved picking up my best friend.

they understand that i cant do that anymore and theyve never expressed sadness over it, but i cant help but think about how delighted theyve always been about me picking them up and spinning or wiggling them during hugs, and how they used to ask multiple times each hangout to be picked up and hugged.

and even if they arent upset about it, *i* am. i want to be able to do what i used to be able to. but i cant. and i never will again.

its just hard, knowing ill never be able to reach my dream career, continue my favorite outdoor hobby, continue giving love to my friends in the ways i like to... theres so much i can no longer do, and so much ill never be able to do again.

its just really hard. i dont want to be this way. but i am and i always will be, and it will get worse even if i do things like meds and physical therapy. those would just delay the collapse of my disease.

im just sad. i dont want to have to come to terms with it. but i have to or else im setting myself up for even more grief.

and its all because my mom wouldnt get me treated when i was injured in my teenage years. that injury going untreated for so long is what caused my degenerative disease to start so early. my mom has it too but she didnt start developing it until her fourties.

and then for years after my injury when talking about my back pain she just kept saying it was because im fat and that it would stop hurting if i lost weight.

which of course sparked the eating disorder i had previously recovered from.

which ive been struggling with now again for years because of that. but i was getting better again.

until now. because my body hurts too bad to get out of bed often enough to eat a healthy amount so im rapidly losing weight and my brain is saying i have to keep going and going.

and, the wheelchair thing... all my friends live and are going to live places with a lot of stairs. and *i* live somewhere with a lot of stairs too. and the doorframes in all these places arent wide enough for a wheelchair, nor are the bathrooms large enough.

its just all so hard to think about. i hate it. i want to get better and heal like a normal person would, not be in pain constantly and get worse like my body is going to.

thank you for listening. sorry for how long this is.

if i could get reassurance in tags or replies that would be really nice. this is all just so hard and i only have a few people i can confide in about it.

<3

[itoshi-s]

I srsly wasnt gonna make u go down a 🐇 hole but im too impatient so this is the 2nd... I give u five words: oral fixation and cum play,, guess who has it?? (Everyone tbh) but think abt it him telling u to keep his first load in ur mouth while pounding u to get his 2nd telling u not to spill it or swallow until his release and even then he would take it in his mouth only to spit it back in urs (ps should i be an emoji anon bc i know which one to use)

OOOOOOHHHH NOOOOOO :( NONNIE U ARE BACK !!! i swear u are the sole reason behind my existence rn asdfkjs i blame YOU for the fever i was running last nite !!! cause this is just... kajfhk this is SO GOOD

also worry not ,, there's a proper fic coming based on rabbit hole 2 TONIGHT </3 2.5 is in the works still but u know damn well i had to do these ideas justice. these are perfect i luv ur brain so much bbie !! also answering ur prev ask there's a small list of fav/hard no's when it come's to kinks !

i… have a certain ravenette in mind 4 this……………. but i am curious which one of the bllk guys u thought of mostly cuz!! you are so right i can see each of them being into that </3 can't blame them cause it really is the hottest idea EVER i am in looooove with cumplay :( sigh

cw: nsfw, cum play. 17- dni!

imagine rin holding a hand over your mouth so that nothing spills :( it gets even harder that way cause now you're also struggling to breathe properly with the way his large palm almost covers up your nose, too :( but the look in his eyes is enough of a motivation, you've let him down on this before and each and every time, you were rendered unable to walk properly for the next few days. you're on the verge of crying by the time he's groaning under his breath, pulling out and grabbing you by the ankles to bring you face-level with his cock.

"open," it's breathy and quick, desperate as he jerks himself, grip tight to mimic the feeling of your cunt. he would've thought it's impossible to feel any better than this, but as you obediently open your mouth, showcasing the pool of cum mixing with your saliva, he comes so hard his knees buckle underneath his weight.

and god he cums lots :( milky and runny and there's so, so much, cause he treats his body so well. your mouth overflows, a soft mewl slipping past your mouth along with a streak of cum as you watch him lose it. teal eyes hooded, mouth agape as he pants and grunts under his breath, rides his high out for all it's worth.

you'd think he was done - but the way his thumb reaches down to wipe away the cum that seeped out the corner of your mouth grants you the contrary. there's a glint of unease in your eyes, simply because you're just so worn out since you've been at it for what seems like hours - and he laughs a bit at the sight.

"fuck. who's my good girl?" it's sweet, a praise that you'll never get bored of and rin's aware. you whimper softly, the obvious answer almost rolling off your tongue - but the very next second your eyes are widening just slightly as he does the unexpected and goes for a kiss. filthy, eager and messy with the way his tongue dips past your lips and laps at your own, tasting himself all along.

you grab at his biceps, nails digging into the sturdy muscle, and you can sense yourself soak the sheets with need all over again.

rin groans into your mouth, hips dragging against the mattress despite his cock already bright pink with overstimulation, and grabs the back of your head. pulling you up to more of a sitting position, he deepens the kiss even more and renders you breathless. it gets your head dizzy and heavy with pleasure all over again, jaw slack as you let him take, take, take.

until he's had his fill.

he breaks the proximity between you two, a string of saliva mixed with his seed connecting your lips until he sits back on his heels again. it breaks off, makes him wipe at his chin with the back of his hand - the other already grabbing at your jaw to keep your mouth agape.

this has played out countless times before already, but doesn't fail to make you lightheaded anyway. he spits on your awaiting tongue, adding in to the mess of drool and two hefty loads of cum that have grown bitter on your tongue from the wait.

"good. swallow."

you only ever realize the breath you've been holding when your throat finally bobs, as you swallow the filth and almost choke with the way your lungs feel so tight from asphyxia. your mouth feels strangely empty as you stick your tongue out again, to show no sign of his cum anywhere.

only then does rin's shoulders roll back slightly, taut muscles finally relaxing with a shaky exhale. he's spent and you can tell - from the way his thighs have a slight tremble to them as he lowers himself down to lay next to you, strong arms pulling you on top of his chest.

"god i fucking love you." he breathes. "you know that?" there's an almost amused lilt to his voice as you nose at his throat - settling for a soft hum as your only answer.

of course you know - he makes sure you do, by all the filth he puts you through <3

[dixonsgirl93]

Corrupt Me

Merle Dixon x Virgin Fem!reader Era: S1, camp, pre Rick joining Word Count: 1.9k CW: p in v, fluff? Content Description: Y/N and The Dixon brothers had been friends for years and were together at the time of the outbreak. Y/N had had a crush on Daryl but he never showed any sign of feeling the same. Merle had teased Y/N for years about taking her virginity. Now, with the world gone to hell, she was tempted to take him up on it.

"Come on! I'll make ya feel good, I promise." Merle teased from behind me.

"I'm sure you would. I just don't think it'd be a good idea." I turned to face him and looked around. We were in the trees, some distance from the camp and the others now. "Also I came out here to pee so." I shooed him away. He just smirked and walked over to me, pulling me in to a hug.

"Need any help?" He purred and my heart raced.

"Merle!" I smiled, despite myself. "I'm serious."

He sighed and released me. "Just think about it."

I rolled my eyes as he walked away but his offer had been on my mind more and more these days. Since the outbreak it was becoming increasingly more possible that I was going to die a virgin. It wouldn't have bothered me so much but now, honestly, all I could think about was Merle. I really believed he'd make sure I was comfortable and everything. Despite his brash personality and "player" mentality, he had been adamant on being the person to take my virginity for years. He never pressured me but he always made it known.

For a long time though it was Daryl who had my heart. Dark, quiet, kind Daryl who had also been my friend for years but any mention of romance and he'd freeze up. I suppose at some point in the last year I'd come to terms with the fact he'd never like me back. Now, I wasn't saying I thought Merle would date me. I wasn't even sure he was boyfriend material at all. But losing my virginity was something and it wasn't like I had loads of time or opportunities like before. It was becoming more tempting by the day to sleep with Merle. Why not? What was stopping me?

~~

Later that night after everyone had had some food and went to sleep. Glenn and Dale were on watch that night, sitting on top of the RV. It was silent outside my tent, eerily so and I couldn't rest. The flimsy fabric of the tent didn't feel nearly safe enough and yet my eyes felt heavy and a weight settled in my chest sometime during the night.

That was, until footsteps approached my tent. I sat up straight, thinking it was a walker but the shadow was hunched as if tip-toeing and their footsteps were uneven, slow. Fingers reached for the zip and Merle's chest and then face appeared in the gap.

"Merle!" I hissed, my heart pounding. "You scared the crap out of me. I thought you were a walker." I breathed a sigh of relief as Merle sat next to me, smug look on his face. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

He shrugged. "I couldn't sleep." He smirked and then closed the short distance between us, planting a short and gentle kiss on my lips. My heart fluttered at his touch. He kept his face close to mine, asking for permission. I closed the distance, reaching a hand up to his face.

"Merle." I said against his lips. He pulled back just enough to look at me in the dim light. "What are you doing?" I knew what he was doing but I needed him to say it.

He leaned down and kissed my neck gently. My brain was slowly going fuzzy. "You don't know how sexy you looked in that forest today, Y/N. I wanted to take you then and there." He pulled away to look at me again, cupping my cheek. "I won't do anything else unless you want me to, though." He then wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck, my jaw, my lips. His hands stayed on my hips and face.

Somewhere in the few minutes or seconds or hours that followed, I wanted, no, needed him to touch me. I held him closer to me and kissed him, his hands gripped me close and somehow I ended up lying down with Merle hovering over me. I wasn't sure if I pulled or if he pushed or both but I took the opportunity to move my legs either side of his hips.

He pressed his erection into my groin and my breath hitched slightly. Merle smirked and started to rub himself against me. Even something as small as that felt really good but it wasn't enough. I think he could sense I wanted more and so his hand slid up my body, massaging my boob through my shirt and bra. His hand felt so warm and good on me. I started to wonder why I hadn't done this sooner.

I lifted a leg around his waist and his hand slid back down my body to go under my shirt and under my bra. Here his hand was hot and delicious against my skin, rough from callouses but if anything if I liked the feeling more. He was gentle, trying not to get ahead of himself, holding back. I wanted to just tell him not to but decided against it. I had no idea what this man was like in bed. Could he have been too rough for me to handle? He said he was going to be gentle and that was what I needed.

"Merle." I said, my heart pounding harder. He looked up at me. "I want you to...take my virginity." My mouth went dry with anticipation.

He pulled back to look at my face, probably to gauge how serious I was. He smiled wide like he'd just won a grand prize. "I should've kissed you years ago." He mused, leaning down to kiss my jaw.

"Why did it take you until now to make a move?" I breathed as my arousal deepened.

"I guess it just took the world going to hell for me to decide to not waste another chance." His lips were on mine with more passion than before. This time he slid a hand into the waistband of my trousers, kissing me as he undid the belt and button with one hand.

"Wait. What about protection?" Afterall I didn't want to risk bringing a baby into this hell.

"Got it covered, sugar. I already happen to be carryin' a couple." He smirked and pulled one out of his jeans pocket.

I sighed with a smile. "Shoulda known."

"You sure you wanna do this?" He kneeled back between my legs, holding the little packet up. Just a few months ago I never thought I'd be here. Not that I hadn't thought about having sex with Merle but losing my virginity to him in the middle of an apocalypse? In a tent? I smirked and nodded. He moved next to and got his trousers and pants off surprisingly fast. I shimmied out of my trousers but kept my underwear on. I watched as he expertly put the condom on over his thick, pulsing erection. I was worried it was going to hurt.

"Be gentle, please." My voice came out soft, almost a plea. I hadn't meant to but suddenly the reality of it all hit me.

"Don't worry. I'll do ma best to make sure it won't, okay?" He got back between my legs and slid a hand up my thigh, his fingers gently grazed the outside of my underwear and my breath hitched again, a soft noise escaping me. He then slid his fingers underneath the fabric and between the folds to rub my clit. His fingers felt electric through me and my body responded. "Feels good, don't it?"

Merle smirked down at me as he worked his fingers. I reached up to kiss him and his fingers worked harder. I moaned into his lips and he groaned back into mine. "Fuck, Y/N. You're so wet down here. Moan for me again." He then slid his fingers down and teased my hole with a single finger, slowly, centimetre by centimetre he slid it in and out again, each time going in a little deeper until his whole finger was inside me.

He leaned his head down to kiss my neck and jaw, suckling and biting gently. I could hardly stop the soft moans as the new sensations rocked me.

Merle then surprised me by using another finger. He did the same trick again, slowly stretching me out as well as getting me more aroused. "Merle." I gasped.

"You don't know how much I've wanted this, Y/N." He breathed. I cupped his head in my hands and I was about to kiss him until his fingers unexpectedly went all the way inside me. I moaned into Merle's mouth, none too quietly. As he pulled out to push them in again, I buried my face into Merle's neck to muffle the sounds coming out of me. I whimpered as his fingers pumped faster, pushing into me a little harder. I gripped onto him.

"I think you're ready for the real thing. You think?" He voice was ragged in my ear, probably from the effort of holding himself back. All I could do was nod against his shoulder.

He leaned up and lined his cock up with me, moving my underwear aside the tip just resting against my pussy. The anticipation was agony. My body thrust up into him.

"You're so eager for ma cock, aren't ya? God, you're sexy." Merle then leaned down to kiss me hard and pushed his cock into me at the same time. I had the sensation of being stretched and filled, it felt strange at first. Once he was all the way inside he stayed still and used a hand to lift my shirt and bra up, exposing my boobs. He then took a hardened nipple into his mouth and suckled on it. Oh, that was a new and wonderful sensation. My body arched into him and I moaned softly.

He started to pump in and out of me slowly, softly, moans escaping him as he did. "You feel so fucking good, Y/N. Fuck." He took my other nipple into his mouth and then pressed a kiss to my lips. As he pulled away just a bit, his thrusts became faster, a little harder. He was nearing finishing. "I'm cumming." He gasped and moments later slowed and I felt him throb inside me. "Shit, I'm sorry." He gasped.

"Don't be." I breathed into his lips.

"Nah, I can't finish it like that." So he pulled out of me and, without taking the condom off, used his fingers to rub my clit again. Those electric waves washed over me pretty quickly. The little circles he rubbed into me built something inside me and a heavy moan escaped. His lips crashed to mine to muffle the noise. "Cum for me, Y/N. Come on, baby."

The waves reached a crescendo and my body pulsed as each wave intensified. My legs shook slightly as I came down.

Merle then took the condom off and cleaned himself up with a rag from his pocket. He kissed me again, got dressed and lay next to me.

"Jesus. That was..." I couldn't finish.

"Oh, I know. It gets better each time, too. I can promise you that." I could hear him smirking.

I leaned up on an elbow. "Next time, huh?" I smiled down at him.

"I've waited years to have you, Y/N. I ain't letting you go now. No way." His tone had turned serious.

"What are you saying, Merle?"

"I..." He paused. "I didn't just wanna fuck you, you know."

I shook my head but he wasn't looking my way. My heart was racing for a whole different reason. "No, I didn't know."

He rolled over, shoving a blanket over us both and cuddled me into him. "Silly girl. I like you."

~~

(part 2?)

[bikenesmith]

Despite [Xavier's] previous insistence that he is only whole when able-bodied, he comes to terms very quickly with his return to disability: “My back is shattered, a parting gift from the Shadow King… It appears… if I am ever to achieve my dream… I will need all of you… to walk me there” (Nicieza 23). In the span of a single panel, Xavier acknowledges that he is once again disabled, accepts it, and asks his teammates for help. Due to his previous elation at becoming able-bodied, one would think he would require more time to adjust, to shift his identity once more from “able-bodied” to “differently-abled.” The ease in which Professor X resumes his disabled identity lends itself to the notion that being able-bodied, not disabled, is a plot device. He takes more time to adjust to using his legs than he does to losing them, a pattern generally reversed when other characters become disabled. This smooth transition back to disability implies that his truest identity is as a disabled man.

(emphasis mine) was reading crippled crusaders: disability representation in the superhero genre by cassandra m. nicol a few days ago and was struck by this bit....the idea that charles' "true" self is a disabled self is really interesting. (edited) crosspost from twitter:

the dominant, most objective read is that charles becomes abled, is disabled, + becomes abled again ad nauseam. yet those narrative tendencies have inadvertently created a reading where charles' disability is, functionally, a chronic illness that flares due to outward stimuli.

whether charles' paraplegia is due to physical injury or a brain/psychosomatic/astral issue isn't clear, having been complicated over the years by all the different ways the text has chosen to able + re-disable him.

what makes the most sense to me is leaning into that ambiguity. its both — either mental or physical injury/ailment can cause him disablement. and the back + forth of charles' paraplegia signifies he's uniquely in danger of that specific disablement — paraplegia/spine issues. and those issues happen ALL the time in real-life non-psychic people who experience (non-psychic….i presume) brain damage. the brain + the spine, the central nervous system, they're basically extensions of each other, and are some of the most important parts of your body.

so you can extrapolate that charles has a particularly "weak" spine, and it's likely to give out if he experiences intense physical or psionic injury. and as an x-man, he risks that often.

i also think the "ease" with which he moves from ability one state to another that nicol mentions is important to this. to be clear: we have seen charles agonize over his disability, and especially losing his ability. it's undeniable that it impacts him emotionally. but charles doesn't go through the intense "grieving" process a lot of newly disabled ppl do — the kind he went through himself when he was recovering from his first spinal injury. as nicol points out:

In Xavier’s next appearance two issues later, he is seated in a golden wheelchair and seems insistent that his disability not hinder his participation in X-Men adventures. Instead he emphasizes his usefulness with his telepathic powers, declaring, “I too shall be coming. Though I am crippled once again, my particular talents may be needed there” (Portacio and Byrne 6). His disabled status is stressed through a visual weight of the word “crippled,” both bolded and italicized in the comic panel, similar to how “whole” was stressed when he became able-bodied in 1983. But here, “crippled” is not laden with judgment. It is merely an acknowledgement of Xavier’s condition. This smooth transition back to disability in some ways rectifies his description of “able-bodied” as “whole,” as Charles insists that even paraplegic once more, he is still more than capable of being an X-Man, and he is still the most powerful mutant in the world. Regardless of the state of his physical body, Charles knows that his disability need not impose limitations on his actions; he harnesses his role as leader of the X-Men and his disability is, effectively, relegated to background information.

of course this is in part bc he'd already been paraplegic for years, but you can also see it as him just being ready for it. seeing it as an eventuality, a familiar state that he will return to throughout his life. a chronic disability that exists whether or not he can walk.

There is one more major instance in which Professor X becomes able-bodied. In 2002, a mutant named Xorn restores Xavier’s ability to walk (Morrison, “All Hell” 32). This is the most short-lived instance of Xavier being able-bodied. Only a year later, Xorn is revealed to be Magneto in disguise, one of Professor X’s oldest enemies; Xorn removes the nano-sentinels that had been holding Xavier’s spine together, crippling him again (Morrison, “Planet X” 19). Later, once freed from captivity, Xavier reappears in a chair with alien-like legs, giving him autonomous movement (Morrison, “Phoenix Invictus” 27). This time, he makes no mention of his return to paraplegia. He is in full command of the X-Men, and has again made a smooth identity transition from “able-bodied” to “differently-abled.” The fact that this occurs once more stresses that to be disabled is part of Charles Xavier’s truest identity, and that being able-bodied is a temporary plot point rather than a character trait.

and that raises the question…what does this mean in the krakoa age? does a newly grown body come without that disability? or is it a "symptom" of his mutation? is it imprinted in his mind-soul-whatever you want to call what part of a person cerebro catalogues?

throughout all of krakoa era, there's never been any mention of what charles feels about making his bodies ambulatory. the closest thing we have is the knowledge that he brought his own wheelchairs with him to krakoa which is a solid point in that theory's direction at least.

(interjection from a subsequent thread:

keep thinking abt the fact that charles brought his chairs with him to krakoa…in this place allegedly free of death or sickness he still prepares for his needs to change, as if its an immutable part of him that can resist miracle drugs + literal resurrection.

its so quintessentially x-men that we only get that interesting insight in the backdrop of an ableist story beat where a character is punished and humiliated by…. being dis-abled.

i'm still floored by how incompetent and tactless that whole thing was but that was the same book that gave us hits like kitty's "viking funeral", emma flashing men to distract them instead of using her, you know, telepathy, emma worrying about eating carbs, + other such bullshit. but i'm still surprised it went so under-discussed in x-comics fandom)

via xuân's resurrection, we know that its possible to request your physical disability be preserved when you're resurrected. so this must have been an active choice of his.

i don't think it's odd at all that charles would choose to walk considering his past feelings about it i just wish the text contended with that like at all 😭 but getting into charles' feelings abt his disability is a long ass post for another day.

(i accessed this paper on proquest here via my alma mater. if you would like to read it yourself but are not connected to an institution or library that has access, dm me and i'll send you the pdf!)

addendum: examples of charles’ disability as neurological illness and/or chronic illness