#also me when I eat a flake chocolate bar

[geoffguy]

this is me about you

sameeee

[rabbitsrants]

CONAN DIES WHEN RAN CRIES

i'll let shinichi explain:

chapter 71

when i first read this chapter, i thought that shinichi was sweet talking ran to avoid her wrath, but rereading the manga made me realize how misguided i was

"it hurts me when you cry" is shinichi admitting something deeply personal, it's him explaining why ran's tears always get a reaction out of him, regardless of the circumstances, regardless of the body he's in

chapter 9

ran: is struggling with shinichi's absence

shinichi: starts calling her on the phone as himself

chapter 48

ran: is emotionally overwhelmed after the karaoke bar case, thinking that shinichi is back and avoiding her, waits for him in the cold for three hours

shinichi: comes up with the idea of talking to her as himself by turning off the lights

i love this moment so much, cause he's using both ran's love language (physical touch) and his own (words of affirmation) to ground and reassure her and it works

chapter 95

shinichi: tells ran to stop crying and ignores heiji in the middle of a case to ask her to wait for him

chapter 143

shinichi: checks on ran after using her for his deduction, drops honorifics when he realizes what he's done and defeatedly endures her tears

also shinichi: never involves her in a case to this extent ever again, even 1000 chapters later

chapter 260

shinichi: involuntary flakes on ran during their date and has to face her as conan

also shinichi: forgets he's conan for a sec as he drops the most epic lines in the manga

chapter 334

ran: is heartbroken cause it's valentine's day and shinichi's still gone

shinichi:

puts the jacket on her when she falls alseep,

reaches out to her as himself

and eats her chocolate

just to get her to smile again.

chapter 479-483

ran: supsects conan's real identity again and feels like he's completely out of reach even though he's so close

also ran: stops suspecting him but still expresses feelings of emotional distance to shinichi

shinichi: gets a second phone just for ran

and carries it with him wherever he goes.

chapter 727 (white day)

ran: starts crying because she thinks shinichi didn't get her anything for white day

shinichi: goes out of his way to draw attention to his gift so she stops crying

(LMFAO, he's so extra)

chapter 743-752

ran: feels like her feelings for shinichi are one-sided, is absolutely devasted, runs off crying

shinichi: drops his current case, runs after her

and confesses his love for her, so she never doubts his feelings for her again.

chapter 884

ran: is frustrated by all the misfortune shinichi brings

shinichi:

in conclusion, shinichi only has two weaknesses: aptx 4869 and ran's tears. and the funniest part is that aptx didn't even kill him like it was supposed to. ran's tears on the other hand? i believe they possess great power. enough power to kill shinichi?

visit the shinran library for more

[h-33-s-3-ung]

Sleepover with Jungwon

Fluff

Synopsis: you and Jungwon have been dating for exactly a month and it was about time you two had a sleepover.

10 Am:

💬: You wanna sleep over tonight?

💬: Well good morning to you too wonnie😗

And btw YES!

💬: Phew! I thought you would say no…I have been wanting to ask you for about a week now but I always got shy.

💬: You are still shy around me?You literaly fart and burp in my face all the time and you are shy to ask me if I could sleep over?😒

💬: No need to expose me like that😔

And yes I was shy because…I don’t have an explanation actually…

💬: Well I do want to sleep over at my cute boyfriend’s house tonight.☺️

💬: Stawp I’m gonna blush

💬: But seriously, are we going to watch a movie (or 4) with some snacks on the side?🧍‍♀️

💬: I have already bought every single one of your favorite snacks! I got Doritos with sour gummy worms and a Hershey’s chocolate bar. Oh and I also got some sprite for a drink (they were out of coca-cola😭)

💬: OuT oF cOcA-cOlA?! HOW DARE THEY?!🥲 (I’m fine.)

💬: Not dramatic at all?

💬: Nope.

💬: Oh and I know you’re into older horror movies so I have prepared The shining AND Halloween.

💬: YOU KNOW ME SO WELL!!!!!

💬: I knew it😎

💬: Anyways, I have to get ready for work🤮

I’ll talk to you tonight okay?

💬: Okay☹️

💬: I love you my little baby cat!❤️

💬: I love you too!❤️

—————————————————————

5 Hours later.

You knocked at Jungwon’s door, your hair was frizzy and you makeup was flaking. You had just finished work and your boss allowed you to leave early since there weren’t many customers.

"I’m coming!"

You heard your boyfriend yell from the other side of the door.

He opened the door and barely even let you step in that he had already jumped in your arms. He was much taller than you but he always acted like a little kid (and you loved it).

"You finished early?" He asked, his hand resting on your left cheek caressing it.

"Yeah, the store was dead so my boss let me go home early." You explained.

He saw how tired you were and so he suddenly picked you up and kissed your lips softly before taking you to the living room. He had basically built a pillow fort. Your favorite blanket was laying there ready to cover the both of you for your long movie night.

"Oh I got something else for you. Close your eyes!" He said, his dimples showing slightly.

You did as he said and soon you felt something in your hands.

"Try and guess what it is."

You pretended to be confused for a few seconds when in reality you knew it was sushi from your favorite sushi shop because you recognized the packaging.

You opened your eyes and even tho you knew what to expect, your mouth fell open and your eyes widen. It was all your favorite sushi together.

"Niki told me to get these types, he said they were the best. Is it okay?" He asked shyly.

"You got all of my favorite ones!!" You said hugging him tightly.

"Well good, shall we start the movie?" He asked pointing at the pillow fort he built.

Without replying, you jumped in and dragged him with you. You quickly opened your sushi platter and started eating like you haven’t eaten in days.

"Can I have one?" Jungwon asked with boba eyes. He knew you couldn’t say no to him, so you gave him a piece. He danced cutely at the flavour and leaned over to lay his head on your shoulder.

AFTER THE FIRST MOVIE

Your eyes were starting to get heavy already. You were munching on some Doritos when you told your boyfriend you were too tired to watch a second movie.

"Awn is my girl too sleepy?" He asked pouting.

You rubbed your eyes and nodded. You didn’t realize but you had accidentally rub off your mascara and eyeliner in the process.

" ugh, I still have makeup on. And I didn’t brush my teeth." You said yawning.

Jungwon picked you up in his arms and took you to his bathroom. You had your own skincare products in a mini form at Jungwon’s house. He sat you down on the counter and easily tied your hair up in a ponytail.

"I can wash your face for you." He said confidently.

"Please Wonnie. I’m too tired to do it myself." You replied.

He grabbed your makeup remover and some cotton pads, poured some of the product on the soft material and then gently removed your eye makeup, making sure to get every little particle of makeup. He then grabbed some more makeup remover and removed the little remaining of your lip makeup. It got rubbed off when you were eating. He was so gentle, it felt like you were getting a mini massage session from him.

"Okay I’m gonna wash the rest of your face now." He narrated.

He grabbed your facial cleanser, poured two pumps of it on his hand (he knew the correct measurement), added a tiny bit of water and washed your face effortlessly. He loves washing your face since he got to admire every single one of your features for longer than usual. He rubbed over your fluffy eyebrows, rubbed your cute chubby cheeks and your perfect nose.

"are you asleep baby?" He asked.

"Almost~" you replied softly.

"You’re adorable." He said giving you a kiss on the top of your head.

After rinsing your facial cleanser, he applied the rest of your serums and creams before grabbing your toothbrush.

"Open up!" He said.

You did as he said and he started to brush your teeth, just like your mom use to do when you were still a kid.

"Brushing your canines, your front teeth, your back teeth, give me a big smile!" He kept narrating in a cute tone. "You’re so beautiful." He added.

You felt yourself blush as you were gradually falling asleep on the cold bathroom counter.

"Okay, we’re done." He said picking you back up like a sloth. "Do you need something to drink before we go to bed?" He asked.

"Water" you replied in a whisper.

He poured you a big glass of water and brought it with him in the room.

He set the glass down on his night stand before letting you fall softly on the mattress.

"I’m gonna go brush my teeth too okay? I’ll be back in a second." He said, kissing your forehead softly.

You understood but couldn’t respond due to exhaustion. You quickly fell asleep as soon as your boyfriend left the room. He came back after a few minutes, saw you fast asleep in the bed and quietly got under the covers with you. He placed you on his chest since you loved listening to his heartbeat and soon, you were both asleep in each other’s arms.

THE NEXT MORNING

"Good morning sleeping beauty." You heard your boyfriend say in a cheerful voice. He was on his phone bombarding his fans with messages on weeverse.

"What time is it?" You asked.

"It’s 11:06 Am"

"When did I go to sleep?" You asked confused.

"Around 10 Pm, why?" Jungwon replied.

"Man I slept for 13 hours?!" You replied confused.

"Don’t feel bad, you needed it." Your boyfriend replied softly giving you a small kiss.

"Do you want breakfast sleepy head?" Jungwon asked smiling.

"Waffles?" You simply said.

"Anything you want honey." He said making his way to the kitchen to prepare your yummy breakfast.

—————————————————————————————————————

This was my fist time writing fluff, I hope you like it. I didn’t want to write smut for Jungwon yet (it feels kind of wrong idk why lol) but maybe in the future if you guys want to and if I’m ready. Let me know if you want me to keep on writing this kind of story. You can also let me know if you have some suggestions. I’m thinking of writing part two for my sunoo story, I was also thinking about a story with Niki (FLUFF) or another heeseung story. Anyways I’ll see you next time!❤️

[lacefuneral]

once again another "i've never been sponsored by anyone in my life but i'm autistic and feel compelled to share when i've enjoyed something" post. i've gotten these as groceries multiple times

the buldak i eat with a lot of milk (3/4 cup), some butter (1 patty), some shredded mozzarella (vibes), and some imitation crab (~2.5 oz, or 1/3 of an 8 oz bag of flake style) i shred with a fork and knife. all of the powder. most of, but not all of the hot sauce packet. microwave to ensure the cheese melts. top with black pepper. i've also eaten them as-is (albeit with a little too much water) and the spice level was too high for me, but it's basically a spicy alfredo with a hint of indistinguishable umami meat-flavor. the spice overpowers the flavors, in my opinion. so bringing them out with real milk, real cheese, "real" meat, really elevates it. (and also because i didn't realize this the first time because the english instructions are unclear: this is a pasta. you cook the noodles alone and then strain all the water out before you add sauces and such.) also also. "cream carbonara" is different from "carbonara." i specifically get the cream one because it is milder.

the classic samyang i use about 1.5 tablespoons of the soup base, all of the toppings. i do egg-drop ribbons. and then sometimes i'll toss other stuff in depending on what's in my fridge. maybe some chicken or meatballs or lunch meat. edamame i feel is too firm but maybe a softer legume or vegetable. the more stuff you add, the less spicy it will be, so i'll add more soup base if i think it's too bland. the flavor of the soup is like... smoked ham? but it's actually halal. and it's spicy as well.

the milk toast i typically slice into four pieces, and put all four in the toaster (even the "end" pieces) for a VERY short time (because they burn easily). and top with either a fruit jam or butter + honey + schechuan pepper. you can also eat the cube as-is by pulling pieces off and eating them as you would a baguette. it's a sweetened bread so it's not really meant for savory things like sandwiches. and it's shelf-stable for several weeks at least, although it starts to go stale over time. the bags each contain four cubes that are like... 3 x 3 x 3 inches i think? the slices just barely fit in my toaster

the UCC brand of melon soda i used to drink a lot when i was a kid but i can't find it anywhere around here anymore. it makes for a nice treat every once in a while. very refreshing. the mango flavor is good too but not as much as the melon

the salted-vanilla pocky is seasonal (for summer) so i'm going to be sad when it's gone. but it's a really interesting flavor contrast. it reminds me of "milk pocky" (which i've also been unable to track down for years) and it's also sort of pretzel-like with the salt coating. really good

the marshmallows, if i'm not careful, get devoured in one sitting. they're loose in the bag, not individually wrapped like other marshmallow candies i've had before. and they're also smaller in size. the mango jelly is really good

i haven't tried a lot of japanese chocolate but i was impressed by how creamy this lotte bar was. i'm also a sucker for strawberry-flavored chocolate in general. i'm curious to see what their milk chocolate is like

and, again, not sponsored. no code. nothing. but i get my asian groceries through Yami, which i find is cheaper than amazon. i click the "fulfilled by yami" box so everything ships at the same time and it's coming from california, rather than overseas. i haven't had any issues with them so far. but if you actually have access to these groceries in your area, support local asian grocers rather than buying online. i live in a food desert, so this isn't possible for me unless i drive quite a distance, and even then, there are not many options

[thelustdevil]

Fueling those café au’s in my head... Part 2!

This time let’s look at what baked goods they would enjoy. 🫶🏼 (based on what I offer in shop & some new ideas!)

Part One: Drinkies!

Hitoshi S.

Will buy the cute seasonal sugar cookies, especially the cat themed ones during the spring & fall. Otherwise a blueberry muffin will suffice. If he’s really hungry a baked cheese & plant “sausage” turnover.

Denki K.

Frosted muffins, loaves & scones. The frosted matcha & vanilla crème Swiss roll is a favorite of his. But the frosted strawberry scone is a good second choice. Will be the one to order a breakfast bagel when super hungry.

Katsuki B.

He enjoys spice over sweet that much is true. He’s not one to order baked goods often, but there’s a hatch chili bread released during the later fall season that he will buy a slice or two of. If not, a savory maple sausage pull-apart roll every once in a while never hurt.

Izuku M.

Flaky pastries!! Always always. Chocolate croissant? Yes. Spinach feta croissant? Also yes. Spiced ham & pepper Jack cheese blossom? … yes. Quiches with buttery crust. Biggest yes. It’s used in so many dishes and so yummy in his opinion.

Shoto T.

Plain/simple flaky pastry or biscuit. Usually something to go along with his tea. There’s an orange blossom and currant biscotti that he’s grown fond of thanks to midoriya’s suggestion. Will have some quiche if offered. Not the meat heavy ones though.

Eijirou K.

Sweet boy loves some sweet loaf slices. He will indulge in pumpkin spice during the season. Otherwise the spiced loaf or apple crumble loaf are great choices. Will get the warm breakfast sandwiches on fresh bread.

Hanta S.

Contrast to his drinks and similar to bakugo, Sero likes the more savory pastries. The rosemary & tomato tart is the perfect snack. While the chili, egg & spinach blossom is a good breakfast option in his eyes.

Tenya I.

Cinnamon roll, no raisins but yes to cream cheese icing. Only once in a blue moon though. He allows himself to enjoy this with his classmates. Otherwise a buttery croissant will do, there’s no need for the excess sugar all the time.

Dabi

Again this mf doesn’t go to coffee shops… Will take warm bread, he likes the softness of it when it’s freshly baked. The topped toast options are usually what he goes for. The special spices Ogura jam with everything bagel seasoning is a go to.

Hawks

Learned to like the Ogura jam pastries because of Dabi. Will get the baked Ogura & sea salt stuffed rolls. There’s also a seaweed flakes croissant he enjoys with a sweet plum jam.

Mirio T.

Loves to try just the most American sounding baked goods. Apple strudel with cinnamon, strawberry & rhuebarb blossoms, Canadian bacon and cheddar boomerang? All yeses! Tamaki has told him countless times that two of those things are decidedly not American but Mirio is too busy ordering to hear him.

Tamaki A.

Is less shy when it comes to ordering pastries from his favorite bakery. Enjoys trying the new seasonal items. The sweet Sakura dango was a big hit with him. Will also get the milk bread toasted with a semi-runny egg & chives on top.

Shota A.

A bagel. He enjoys trying to different toppings but prefers having something easy to eat between classes and napping. Open to trying different kinds of bagels as well. Hizashi once bought him a breakfast bar and he enjoyed it. Still gets bagels though.

Hizashi Y.

Much like Tamaki, Hizashi likes trying the seasonal pastries. It only makes sense if he’s trying the seasonal drinks too! It’s the full experience. The toasted coconut & pineapple loaf was a surprising new favorite. So was the miso & cucumber tea sandwich.

*based on my view of them & their personalities*

Might do this for JJK or another fandom next. This has also given me new ideas for some trial goods in the bakery next week…

[asterhaze]

There Will Be No More Strawberries

• Original Work •

Copyright © 2023. Aster Haze. All rights reserved.

I hate strawberries. Their dimpled outside squishes easily, even with a delicate touch, and their sickly sweet fragrance sticks to my fingers even after I have washed them ten times. There is something about their smell, their texture, all of them that seems so fake, so manufactured, so artificially perfected that I find it strange that others like them so much. Strawberries are my brother's favorite fruit.

I also hate bananas. It isn't necessarily their flavor, though bland and uninteresting, that disgusts me. It's their texture. So squishy yet stringy, too easy to eat, mush barely held together by near-flake fibers. They should be good, since they're okay dried, but they're not. Bananas are my grandmother's favorite fruit.

I hate chocolate the most. Sugary dirt. Gritty on my tongue even when smooth. Melts in your throat even if you try to swallow it whole. The smell is enough to make me gag, yet I am one of a kind. Unless they're allergic, I have found that chocolate is one of everyone's favorite treats.

In 90 seconds there will be no more strawberries. In 90 seconds there will be no more bananas. In 90 seconds there will be no more chocolate because no matter how much we love something, how much we care for something, how much we want those things to still exist for those that come after us, there are people like me who care so little for their existence that their absence will be of so little consequence that we will simply forget they were ever there. My life will not change if there are no more strawberries or bananas or chocolate or chocolate dipped fruit. My life will go on.

There is a man who sits in a fancy chair in front of a beautiful desk with his 70-year-old hand resting on the handle of a telephone. This man has a voice so powerful that he can command a dead hand to shoo away the lives of every living thing. Every human, every animal, every strawberry, every banana, and every cacao tree will have its DNA wiped from the face of the earth with the back of death's hand. Like eraser shavings.

There is a man who stands on a tall podium, speaking over the begging screams of his people, and he tells men and women in designer suits with important titles that if he doesn't get what he wants, he will forget us under lovely dots. There are lovely dots on the map. There are lovely dots on every country and every major city in the world. The humans and the strawberries and the bananas and the chocolate bars are so small, you can't even see them. Just the dots.

Will the people who take those lovely dots off of the map replant our fields after the dead hand moves? Will the man who wants to take us with him into the abyss if we don't bend to his will make us chocolate after the fires stop burning? Will the men and women in designer suits pass out bananas and strawberries when the winter fades and the door to their bunkers open up? Will they pass them out to us?

Do the faces of unimportant people with regular titles, bargain suits, and small voices matter if they live below those lovely dots? Are they as insignificant as strawberries, bananas, and chocolate? Less so since they're not the important people's favorites? Even less because they can always make more of themselves if the dead hand forgets to sweep them away?

One day the dead hand will move and it will keep its assured promise. The hand has only so many fingers to point with and can only smudge so many lovely dots away. Nameless faces will find a way to roam the earth again, to rebuild, to survive the poisonous snow and salted earth. Without fresh strawberries. Without bananas. Without chocolate.

But if my brother is still alive, God forbid, he will feel their absence and he will miss the taste of a ripe strawberry picked from his father's garden in summer to replace the ashen taste that rots his tongue. One day if my grandmother is still alive, God forbid, she will wake up hungry and wish there was something easy for her to peel and tear with shaky aged hands, and something soft and easily mushed with her tired gums. After midnight there are no more bananas, no more easy foods, and no more favorites.

Years ago someone found a tree with pods growing on its branches, cracked them open, and between them and their many ancestors they figured out how to make all sorts of chocolatey treats for me to hate and everyone else to enjoy. Hours ago someone looked at a green bundle of leaves with tiny red berries and spent the rest of their life experimenting, learning, and cultivating that tiny patch so the fruit would grow bigger and stronger. Minutes ago someone found out how to take the seeds out of bananas and then clone them so that every single banana that grows from a cloned tree tastes almost exactly the same. While all of this was happening, kingdoms and dynasties rose and fell. Countries were born, lived, grabbed by the throat, and took their final breaths as they were absorbed by countries with bigger hands.

All of this fantastic knowledge is kept in quiet books that were invented minutes ago. Since books are big and heavy, noisy devices powered by controlled lightning were invented seconds ago so all of that knowledge can live in our pocket. In 91 seconds the fires will start and all the books will burn and anyone who survives under the lovely dots won't want to read anyway since there will be nothing to read. In 91 seconds all of the smart parts of those noisy devices will melt like the small parts of people, only less goopy.

All of the records of those hours and minutes and seconds will be wiped away in 90 seconds so that when my brother and my grandmother and I die no one will ever think of strawberries or bananas or chocolate or America or Russia or Europe or China. Because after 90 seconds have long passed, after the dead hand lays mummified by the poison snow in the salted earth, there will be nothing left of this earth that any of us living now will recognize. And our descendents will have no strawberries, bananas, chocolate, or great countries' ideals to remember because there are also no books or noisy devices.

Only the silence, the lack thereof, the stories and the tales passed night by night as children are tucked in their rags.

[red-hibiscus]

So I went to a Thai sweets cafe and here are my thoughts

Context: My area has no Thai restaurants and I've only has Thai food twice in my life. So I really know nothing. I asked the staff to give me recs and info. Also our lovely Perth Nakhun has a video on Thai sweets on his YouTube. UMWA edition (bc of course) which covers leum kluen and khanom tom/kho which I ate.

Golden Thread Pandan Cake

Recommended by staff. Golden thread is made out of egg and I was a bit skeptical bc I don't always like egg. But I actually really liked it. The cake tastes like a kind of sponge cake or a pound cake? It doesn't really have a strong taste. Like eating it by itself is kind of plain (not in a bad way), but mixed with the golden thread that has a slightly stronger taste was very nice. Good combo.

Khanom tom

At least I think it's khanom tom. Pretty sure. Could be khanom kho. They're very similar. Staff described them as kinda dumpling balls?

Google says there's a version that's rolled in coconut flakes. Personally I quite liked the warm coconut cream. It was very nice. I was surprised by how warm it was. I think I expected it to be room temp or cooler, but it was very warm like a warm glass of milk.

While I like coconut, I sometimes get tired of the taste depending on how it's done. But I was surprised by how much I liked the cream with the dumplings that had coconut inside. It's a glutinous rice ball (essentially mochi, same concept). So very chewy. Then there's the coconut filling which is nice. The coconut milk adds a bit of extra depth to it I think.

Khanom Chan

(Steamed layered coconut cake)

Chewy coconut jelly. Really liked this one. Possibly my favorite idk. I like jelly and they're very pretty. I'm biased. Not as chewy as the khanom chan, but you know... usual jelly texture. The jelly is pretty thick. Thicker than the little jello containers i usually eat. Which I liked. Portion size is very good bc it does seem like Thai sweets can be on the filling side of things. As opposed to idk... a chocolate bar.

The jelly isn't sweet. On the savory side. I was also told this was best eaten warm, though it could be eaten at room temperature.

Leum Kluen

Forget to swallow

Left is what they're supposed to look like, right is a picture I took on the train home after I ate one. The coconut on top spilled a bit, but it's fine

This was definitely the lightest of the sweets I got. A quick 1-2 bites and it's gone. I think I had 3 or 4. It's a cute little dessert. It's also a bit chewy, but far less so than the others. There's a softer texture. I think it's a bit sweeter? But not by much. I quite liked this one too. Because it's not as heavy it's easier to eat more of them and I can see this being served in larger amounts are parties.

This is also the only dessert I remembered from UMWA that I watched years ago lmao and I get why they wanted it.

Other thoughts and info

I told the staff that I didn't really know anything about Thai food/desserts and that's why I was there. I saw ads for it on IG and decided to stop by (also it was burning outside & I wanted Thai milk tea to revive myself). They just opened & the cafe is only 6 months old, so the person was able to give me recommendations and explanations to the general idea of thai desserts.

Coconut and pandan are very important and that definitely came across. If you want Thai food you must accept the coconut. Luckily I like coconut when served with in/with other foods (though rarely raw by itself). Pandan I've never tried before, but it's not bad.

Thai desserts tend to be very delicate. Gotta make it look good for events and elders they joked. It's also not very sweet. Which is true. I wouldn't call anything I ate sweet, which is probably why I liked them so much. I'm not really a fan of sweet things. But the Thai sweets I had were at a good level where they definitely tasted like a dessert, but didn't overwhelm me with sweetness.

My main knowledge of Thai culture is from media (some rock bands, bl), some acquaintances, and the one time I took a linguistics field research course that happened to be on Thai (was actually one of my fav classes). So I know a bit but it was nice to see more into the cuisine. Especially since I live far from a wider variety of foods in general.

They were a bit different to the sweets I usually eat (if any). So I thought I'd share my thoughts

[luveline]

If you’ve bought a special food at minimum you should be the person to finish it. Also you’ve ignited a craving in me bc when I was like 8 I went to the UK and my two favorite sweets were ripples and flakes, I might have to go to the world market and see if they carry them

I wouldn’t mind but also I do cos they’re 1.95 for 4 so girl math means I paid two pound for one chocolate bar <\3 flakes are so yum too!!! I only eat those once in a blue moon

[astro-hunny]

French silk.

A short story by Astrophel Verloren.

"When I was a young girl, my mom used to make pies on special occasions.

Sometimes she would make fruit pies, sometimes she would make meat pies...

But I could never eat those. The feeling of warm fruit or wet piecrust grossed me out.

So one day, my mom took me to the store, and we picked up ingredients for that night's pie.

An Oreo crust, stuff for chocolate filling, whipped cream, more chocolate bars so we could make flakes...

And she made us a French silk pie.

And I loved it.

It's the only type of pie I've ever had.

As of recording, it's been years since I've enjoyed that French silk pie.

It's been years since I lived in that dreadful house.

It's been years since I saw dad. He still thinks he has a daughter.

It's been years since I've enjoyed my mother's baking.

She still mostly makes things with fruit.

But, what's in the past is in the past.

...

Life has become a lot duller in recent years.

Days feel slower but also faster, I can't wake up at normal times, I always feel numb...

But I have a goal now.

So, if I can get through this...

And when things eventually get better,

I'm going to make a French silk pie.

The recipe is behind my mirror.

So, then. Future me.

The me who is watching this when your calendar reminds you to.

Why don't you make yourself some pie?

Maybe there's someone to make it with."

...

I set down my phone, a different phone from the one I had when I recorded that.

I walk over to my mirror, take it down, take the backing off...

There it is.

There's the recipe.

I sigh and pick my phone back up, shooting a text to someone I know well.

I drive to the store.

I pick up an Oreo crust, stuff for chocolate filling, whipped cream, more chocolate bars so I could make flakes...

I drive back home and see that my girlfriend got here before me.

She smiles as I walk in, as if she knew I would choose her to help me someday.

...I smile back, because I'm pretty sure she did.

I set down the bags and we get to work, mixing ingredients, filling the crust...

We set the pie in the fridge to cool. I always found it odd that this was how to "bake" a French silk pie.

My girlfriend laughs as I say that. I smile again.

Twice now.

We start a timer for 5 hours and pick out a movie to watch. We pick out a second one just in case.

It takes us the full 5 hours to get through the first. I keep pausing to talk about the costuming as my girlfriend laughs along.

Our timer goes off, and we open the fridge to check our pie.

Just right.

We sit down at my table. I cut out two pieces and hand one to my girlfriend.

We sit and eat while talking about music and art and whatever comes to mind.

So yes, little me.

The me who just figured out what a beautiful boy he was.

You do have someone to make a pie with.

[guardianreadersofthegalaxy]

If I were on the Off Menu podcast:

Still or sparkling water: Still, obviously. Sparkling water tastes rank. One time when I was a kid, a friend's mum gave me sparkling water that had gone flat so I couldn't tell it was sparkling. I couldn't swallow it so I just spat it out all over my pizza.

POPPADOMS OR BREAD?!?!?!?!: Usually I'd say bread - something a bit oily with olives in it and big flakes of sea salt - but I've got a big meal planned and I don't want to fill up. So i'll have a single poppadom and some mango chutney.

Your dream starter: This is kind of academic because I'm ordering small plates, but the first proper dish I want going in my mouth is boquerones en vinagre. It's fresh anchovies marinated in vinegar and oil and seasoned with garlic and parsley and the best boquerones are made in Cambio De Tercio, a tapas restaurant in South Kensington. And to accompany that, I'd like a cold glass of gazpacho (cold tomato soup). I had this a lot in Cádiz and it's the most refreshing thing.

Your dream main course: Ok, deep breath... I want the crunchy prawns we had at my wedding, the potatoes with aioli I ate in Valencia, an Insalata Caprese (tomatoes, mozarella & basil) made by my dad, deep fried courgette flowers, a small ramekin of my partner's courgette carbonara w. homemade linguini, grilled halloumi from Bar Mezze (a greek restaurant in Muswell Hill my family used to go to before it closed), taramasalata, tzatziki, baba ghanoush (cod roe dip, yoghurt/cucumber dip & smoked aubergine dip) and a big Turkish flatbread for dipping and sauce moppage.

Your dream side dish: Again, academic because of the small plates but I'll go for the broccoli w. garlic and chilli from Boulangerie Bon Matin in Finsbury park. The broccoli's nicely grilled and not too oily or salty and the chilli gives it a real zing. Also, in my fantasy, my partner's sat across from me eating the wood roasted chicken from Moro in Islington and she's giving me little forkfuls to try.

Your dream dessert: I'm not much of a dessert person but I'd never say no to a slice of my mum's chocolate birthday cake. It's nothing fancy (though the layer of grated dark chocolate over the top is a classy touch), but it's as delicious now as it was when I was a kid.

Your dream drink: So before the meal even starts I'd like a Lychee Martini at the bar. Then with my boquerones, I'd like a glass of Pegoes, a Portuguese wine we had at my wedding that has an interesting banana-y taste. When the small plates arrive, I'll move on to a 3/4 pint of Mythos, a Greek beer perfect for hot days and oily food. Then with dessert I want a little glass of Sauternes, my favourite dessert wine. Then, if it's lunchtime I'll just have a homemade filter coffee, with plenty of milk.

Your dream restaurant: I'll stick with the Mediterranean theme and imagine myself in a seaside town, where it's hot but you're cooled by the breeze and you can see the boats bobbing in the bay. Occasionally a moped revs past but otherwise all you can hear are the other diners and the waves lapping against the harbour. That, but with comfortable chairs!

[nancypullen]

Countertop Eve

 I’m as excited as a kid at Christmas. We get our countertops tomorrow! After nine months in this house the kitchen will be finished! I spend a big chunk of my time in that room and it will finally feel like mine.  I cook a lot, I mean a lot, and I like my work space to be pretty and functional.  I don’t think that’s asking too much. These new countertops will stand the test of time. Since we’re on the topic of kitchens and cooking. I have decided that I am part elephant...or maybe panda. They eat tons of veggies and stay plump, and I am living proof that humans can do that too.  Most of my snacks and meals are made up of fruits and veggies.  This is what my cart typically looks like when I’m shopping -

Top to bottom - a bag of apples, blueberries, bananas, broccoli, green beans, romaine, 2 packages zucchini, carrots, celery, there’s a bag of basmati rice, two pounds of lean ground turkey, chicken breasts, and salmon.  Those two cans are extras to go into a big pot of vegetable soup.  Did I also cruise down the candy aisle and pick up a bar of dark chocolate with sea salt? Guilty.  But that cart usually feeds us for a about a week.  It’s not keeping me thin, but it is keeping me healthy. Knock on wood!  I guess I’ll have to be content with that. Quick snack - just cukes with a tiny sprinkle of Maldon salt. I love baby cukes and a big bag is usually under three bucks.

Those green beans? I’ll roast a bunch and eat ‘em for lunch. I spritz just a little olive oil, a sprinkle of sea salt, and then a few shakes of this black urfa chili.  It creates a deep, almost smoky flavor.

I roast them until they’re blistered then I squirt a half tablespoon of garlic aioli (yes, I know I could make my own, but this is soooo easy) into a dish for dipping. I swirl it around to make it look like more - who do I think I’m fooling? It’s delicious.   So 45 calories for the aioli and whatever is in that spritz of olive oil. I probably burn 45 calories loading the dishwasher. 

  Here’s a more fattening veggie dish, but not by much. Slice some zucchini lengthwise, lightly salt it, and leave it to sweat for about 20 minutes. Dab off the water.

Spray a pan with olive oil and plop them in face down until they’re nice and brown.  

Turn them over and pop them into a 400 degree oven for a few minutes. While that cooks, grab some fatty and flavorful toppings.  I chose reduced-fat feta, red pepper flakes, and my bff, garlic aioli.  No, I don’t eat it every day. Only on days when I want to be happy.

A schmear of aioli on the plate is enough.

An extra  sprinkle of red pepper flakes doesn’t hurt either.  When your zucchini is done (we’re talking just a few minutes, you don’t want it mushy!) plate it and give it a crumble of feta and more flakes.

This was a delicious and filling lunch.  Just because I followed it with a square of dark chocolate for dessert doesn’t negate the fact that my lunch was less than 200 calories; 45-ish for the aioli, about the same for the feta, and then the olive oil.   One medium zucchini is 33 calories. I probably burned that while cooking it.  The feta is a good source of B vitamins, calcium and phosphorus - so it’s almost medicine, right?  Like I said, I’m round but very healthy.

That said, it’s time for more water and something yummy for lunch.  Dinner tonight is salmon and roasted broccoli.  Lunch is probably going to be veggies.  Mostly because it’s good for me, but also because my husband can’t stay out of Craft Bakery!!

I think he’s trying to kill me.  He went out this morning to take photos and came home with a haul from the bakery.  My only real weaknesses there are her quiche and the blackout cookies.   This plate doesn’t tempt me.  The quiche is roasted potato, caramelized onion, and cheddar and it’s sitting in the frig calling my name. Pray for my salvation.

Me too, Mae, me too. With that in mind I’m going outside in the sunny 46 degree weather to try to clean up that scraggly tree line and pull some ivy off trees.  I can’t hear the siren song of the frig out there.  I’m thinking of spring and what I want to see when I look out the windows to that back yard.  My itty bitty Jane Magnolia has buds, it survived the winter!  In a few years I’ll have a pretty pink tree out there.  If I want to live to see it I’ll avoid the quiche.  My good genetics can only carry me so far. I hope that you’re having a lovely Thursday and can get outside and turn your face to the sun. We’re already seeing longer days and I’m a fan.  There are daffodils up all over town and that always puts me in a sunny frame of mind. March up here came in like a lamb, so she may exit like a lion - but her sweeter sister, April, is waiting in the wings.  Here comes the sun, folks!

Sending you love & sunshine! Nancy

[demonsfate]

LUNA SENT ...

     Merry Christmas 仁さん! (English translation: Mr. Jin!)

     I remember that you do not celebrate Christmas but I could not help but to bring this 弁当 (Romanji translation: bento); together with the クリスマスケーキ (English translation: Christmas cake); coffee; and your Christmas gifts to you.

     For the 弁当 (Romanji translation: bento); I cooked some rice garnished with black sesame seeds; 豚カツ (Romanji translation: tonkatsu) with two lettuce leaves; a potato salad; 卵焼き (Romanji translation: tamagoyaki); and two slices of cucumbers.

     As for the dessert; I baked いちごのショートケーキ (English translation: strawberry shortcake) and I decorated with whipped cream; strawberries; a small chocolate bar; a bunny shaped white chocolate; and a Christmas decoration.

     I also brewed this coffee and I added some sugar. I did not put a large amount of sugar since I had a feeling that you had a strict diet to follow.

     Regarding your Christmas presents; I went to a local jewelry shop yesterday and I saw a snow globe that has glass black cherry blossoms; trees; and a crescent moon. I even found a crystal bunny sculpture! The color scheme of the snow globe reminded me of your outfit so I decided to purchase it along with the crystal bunny sculpture.

     I hope that the food; your Christmas cake; coffee; and the gifts will meet your standards! (Luna) 🐰

His eyes go big as they survey all the gifts. It's a lot, & fortunately, he has a big appetite. However, it rises guilt & confusion in him. Guilt, because he feels bad for not getting her anything. Confusion, because he can't understand why she'd go through the trouble for him.

❝ Wow... this is... quite nice, Luna. ❞ He then slightly lowers his body in a bow to express his gratitude, ❝ thank you... ❞

He brings the globe closer to his face for better inspection. He shakes it to watch all the snow flakes fly around, & then gently land. ❝ This is really beautiful. I'll keep both it, & the bunny on my table. ❞

As for the food, he'd start with the bento. Whilst his mother wasn't a good cook by any means, she did teach him to eat his meal before the dessert, as desserts can ruin your appetite. & when that bento enters his mouth, he makes a rather happy, & surprised noise - even if his face doesn't express it. She's certainly a BETTER cook than his mother.

❝ Are you kidding ? This is above my standards... ❞ As he's used to much worse. & he isn't even accustomed to receiving gifts this day. ❝ Merry Christmas to you, too. Thanks... ❞

[tamariasykes-art]

Favourite sweets/ desserts Headcanons for the (demi)gods!

Does an idea ever hit you in the face like a brick? Because that’s what inspired me to write this headcanon list. Kept it a bit shorter than usual, because I would also love to hear other peoples ideas/ thoughts on this.

Marika: A part of me of thinks she would eat whole sugar cubes, just because. The other part of me is convinced that she does not actually eat food unless in the company of family.

Godfrey: With the harsh conditions in the badlands,  I don’t think sweets are of a particular concern for Godfrey and his warriors when all they aim to do is to survive. I don’t think outside of dried fruits he ever ate something that could be considered sweet. When he was still Elden Lord, he liked to eat applie pie because it wasn’t overly sweet and still a bit savory.

Godwyn: The wealth of his heritage allows him to enjoy all kinds of delicacies. Whatever he is served will usually have some extravagance to it. Picture a chocolate cake with flakes of leaf gold sprinkled on top of it. Godwyn himself doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth however.

Morgott: Claims that overly sweet food makes his teeth food and in general shies away from eating any of it. He mostly sticks to cake and other pastries, with his favorite being apple Pie and also Baumkuchen (Because that literally translates to treecake and it is very funny to me)

Mogh: Dark chocolate in combination with any type of fruits is his go too. He loves chocolate bars with nuts and grapes inside. I can also definitely see him as the type to enjoy very expensive pralines.

Godrick: I imagine that in addition to all the other health issues going on, Godrick probably has inherited all of his ancestors allergies and dental problems. So, he has bad teeth and has to watch what he eats. In addition to that is sugar very expensive and he hasn’t really been blessed with a fortune from his family. He eats dried fruits, which can be hard to chew tough and uses honey to sweeten food.

Miquella: Ice cream and marshmallows. Even better if both are combined. He would probably snack the latter as often as possible, but Loretta ended up moving the glass to the upper shelves where he can not reach it. He also likes various fruits, most of which are grown on the land of the Haligtree.

Malenia: Miquella always shares his ice cream with her, but she has a tendency to get brain freeze from it. She also has some bad memories of rotten fruit, so she tends to avoid baked goods or other desserts containing it. Nuts however are a different matter, with her favorite being hazelnut. And a slice of hazelnut cake will definitely cheer her up.

Radagon: Probably the one who makes all the desserts. Unlike Marika he actually eats sweets, but doesn’t have a particular favorite. However, he definitely makes cookies for the kids only to eat the majority of them himself.

Rennala: Croissants. She enjoys a hearty breakfast with her family before a long day and croissants are always a must. She eats them either with fruit or different types of jam. (And yes, she is aware how ironic the resemblance between her favorite dessert and her crown is.)

Ranni: Blueberry tart. I definitely can see her as the type of person to sit down and enjoy a slice of tart and some tea or perhaps have a picnic with Blaidd, Iji and her Tarnished.

Radahn: Pancakes or waffles, topped of with syrup and fruits. He is just like his mother in that he believes and extensive breakfast is the perfect start in the day. Leonard on the other hand gets to eat an apple as a treat.

Rykard: Candied fruits all the way! He is especially fond of candied raisin and plums. He also loves sour cherries and will eat them raw before anyone has a chance to use them as ingredients. He likes to try new, unique flavors and doesn’t shy away from adding some questionable ingredients to his meals.

[kapyushonchan]

Typing Plague Doctor characters like chocolate bars.

Author: Phobs. Warning: lot's of notes, the translator (me) is a chatterbox.

Lera: Nature's own factory, healthy buckwheat white chocolate, handmade with Bean to Bar technology.

Everyone says she's still a baby;

A-student syndrome;

Pleasing to the eye;

Good for your soul.

Sergey: handmade chocolate.

50% sweet, 50% fruit*;

Handmade;

Appearance compensates for inner qualities;

*Fruit is also a Russian phraseology of a sort. When one wants to say about a person that he is… Well, let's say, not very good or just batshit crazy, they say about him: "That person is queit/ some /hell of a fruit". So I suppose it's an intended pun.

Oleg - Ritter sport.

Classics do not get old; (old but gold! - T/N)

The packaging should come off easily, but not everyone can break it right the first time.

Chrysalis - Coffee with milk flavor from "Russia is a generous soul". (T/N it's a Russian chocolate and the notes about Russian brands will be long).

Money is not the priority*;

Politely tolerates jokes about age**;

Responsible for you, me, and that other guy.

*Basically, this chocolate is one of the cheapest. Now the brand is going with the flow and producing bars in a bunch of flavors and mimicking the handmade chocolates by adding raspberries, almond flakes, and oranges to be cool and all, but as an oldfag I remember that it really was comparably cheaper than other chocolates. I live in Siberia, so I don't know how it was in St. Petersburg, but I guess chocolates from "Russia Generous Soul" is condescendingly considered not very solid there. Even though their chocolates are cheap, they're not bad. Alpen Gold, for example, is much worse. And many adults, like my parents, were fans of the "coffee and milk" flavor.

**"Rossiya" is a Soviet and Russian chocolate factory in Samara, founded in 1969. Since 1995, it has been owned by the Swiss company Nestlé. That is, it is one of the oldest chocolate brands on the Russian market; everyone knows it.

Poet - Inspiration/Vdohnoveniye (also Russian brand)

Maybe a change of image is needed, but not today*;

A rat**;

Can always be gifted to someone else***.

*A hint of it being old-fashioned as f***. Since the creators were inspired by the French form of packaging in Soviet times, they did not change it.

**Rat in Russian slang means not only snitches, but also sleazy assholes. That is, if someone Russian-speaking deals with a person who did them dirty, you can often hear from them "Lya ty krysa!"/"you f-ing rat!"

***In Russia, it is customary to give expensive alcohol or presentable chocolate on any formal occasion. Gifts as a thank-you or as a form of bribe without giving a bribe are also common. Not remarcable chocolate or drink is often just handed over if there is no spare money for cool stuff or you don't want to bother with buying one. "Vdohnoveniye" falls under the category of presentable chocolate, but honestly, the taste is... pretty ordinary? That is, the fancy-shmancy packaging is quite deceptive. I have not yet met people who are "Vdohnoveniye" fans. For me, "Vdohnoveniye" is a perfect metaphor for the Poet: so much pomp and no visible effect xD.

Vadim: Milka with Oreo flavor.

Expensive (yes); Cursed* (this shit is so sweet you can feel your ass sticking up). Too much (yes again). Threat of a heartburn (yes again). No one has complained yet (no lies detected, you buy this shit if you want to eat it and die afterwards. You'll be sick of chocolate for months after this one).

*Cursed is a meme, meaning roughly the same as wasted meme: something that will end badly or has already ended badly.

Altan: Lindt excelence 100% cocoa.

Very expensive;

Very bitter;

Hard to get;

Addictive.

Vasily: Lenten dark chocolate with almonds (I think the Orthodox Church explains everything in the background).

That kind of thing exists as well;

Almost no one has tried it (ahahahaah, yes);

Hard to get;

As sinful as this Milka of yours.

Max: Toblerone.

The teenage rebellion dragged on;

From a good family;

Showoff.

Banu: Bucheron.

She knows her worth;

Covered in iron, but pure-born chocolate.

[tastesoftamriel]

I was asked about what dishes you should never offer to Daedric Princes by a follower who's probably a little too curious for their own good. Here's an interesting question I certainly have not thought of, because I generally try not to invoke the wrath of Daedric Princes! However, if you really want to potentially bring the punishment of Oblivion down upon yourself, please feel free to try the following...

Mehrunes Dagon

Instead of fiery destruction, I propose something...cute. A classic chilled custard tart topped with warm berry compote and some Hammerfell-style rose-and-vanilla pashmak is bound to melt hearts, just not in the way one of his Dremora would.

Peryite

I love making healthy foods just as much as indulgent dishes, and as the popular adage goes, an apple a day keeps Peryite away! A classic rucola and feta salad with a balsamic and Cyrodiilic olive oil can be made even better with an extra handful of spinach, a sprinkle of fresh pomegranate, halved walnuts, avocado and cucumber slices, and a few diced apple pieces! Simply delectable, and sure to keep scurvy and pestilence at bay.

Molag Bal

What should you not offer the Daedric Prince of domination and creator of vampires? Probably a soft, delicate vegetarian dish. A Breton vegetable quiche with an all-butter crust, goose eggs, sun-dried tomatoes, delicate baby spinach, fresh chanterelle mushrooms, squash, lots of garlic, and a spot of chevre. Mouth-wateringly good, this little beauty makes for an excellent meal at any time of day, and is bound to make Molag Bal sneer.

Namira

I'm going to be a little cheeky here and turn something gross and creepy into something delicious that even the fussiest nobles I've served love: garlic butter snails. Namira's followers are known to chow down on live, raw snails, shells and all, but I prefer mine with a garlicky gratin and a sprinkle of cave-aged West Weald parmesan. Oh, and don't forget to eat them with a fancy silver snail fork like a proper diva!

Boethiah

Plots? Destruction? Snakes? Not with this dish! What you see is what you get with a traditional Nord bread-and-butter pudding! It's a great way to use up your leftover bread scraps and stale butter, and is one of Tamriel's most satisfying desserts in my humble opinion. Served with hot custard and dried snowberries, this pudding is the perfect, least deceptive dish I can imagine.

Hircine

You were spot on with a salad, but let me raise the bar a little. Not just any salad will do, but you'll want all your ingredients to be gently cultivated by hand and farmed, as opposed to wild foraged. Iceberg lettuce and pink pear salad with some crumbled goat cheese and honey hits the spot, but how about topped with some marbled fatty beef? The historic Gweden Farm near Anvil has won countless awards for its pampered cows who are given a daily massage and the best fresh grass and Cyrodiilic grain. Domesticated, happy, and wonderful...unless you're a hunter, that is.

Hermaeus Mora

You'd have to be downright stupid to try a traditional Argonian worm bowl unless you're Saxhleel, and even then, most of them don't want to touch this nasty, wriggling dish. Fresh, live mealworms and kotu gava eggs are drowned in a fermented blood worm sauce, with shredded catapult cabbage and flame-grilled, toxic haj mota flesh. I once commented that it looked a little like Hermaeus Mora himself, before taking a tentative nibble and spending the rest of the day throwing up in the swamp. Please don't try this. It's the dumbest dish in Tamriel, and a pox on whichever Argonian invented it.

Sheogorath

No cheese or strawberry torte here! In fact, the least madness-inducing food I can think of is a nice, mild pistachio ice cream profiterole, dipped in sweet milk chocolate and topped with fresh nuts is the perfect Breton summer treat, yet far too boring for the Prince of Madness to bother with. Which leads us to...

Sanguine

I really dislike coming up with bland, mundane dishes for the occasional fussy eater I come across during my travels. Sanguine, Prince of hedonistic pleasures, probably lurks over my shoulder at the average feast I throw, so I admit I was a bit stumped here...until I remembered my Granny Matilda's chicken noodle soup. As basic as soups come, this simple broth is made by boiling leftover chicken carcasses for a night and a day, and served with plain egg noodles. The perfect food for when you're feeling under the weather, or have the palate of a small Nord child.

Malacath

Altmer cuisine seems like a good way to get Malacath really mad, because it's basically the antithesis of what he stands for. Delicate Quicksilver Lingwe cerviche with a yuzu drizzle and Crystal Hannia caviar, with a light avocado mousse flavoured with apple blossom? A sensory delight, and bound to make any Malacath-respecting Orc gag.

Jyggalag

Fried, hand-pulled buckwheat noodles with a spicy Pellitine-style curry sauce is a good way to make this Prince quite cross with you. Not only is it messy to eat, but your furniture will likely suffer bright orange and yellow stains from the turmeric and tomatoes, and your bowels will also be as tangled as the noodles after consuming a fiery Khajiiti curry.

Vaermina

So mundane and boring, you're definitely not bound to have any dreams or nightmares about a bowl of saltrice porridge with comberry preserves and scrib jerky. The staple food of the common Dunmer, it's tasty enough to eat on a daily basis, but hardly the stuff dreams are made of.

Mephala

This spidery Prince enjoys interfering with us mortals, so it's time to fight back with a dish that'll probably make most other Daedric Princes frown too. Imperial food is famous for its balanced flavours, textures, and fresh ingredients, and a Gold Coat seafood stew is a vibrant dish bursting with the best fresh fish, mussels, lobster, and crabmeat the region has to offer. Mild but but with a tangy punch from the sun-dried tomato based soup and a dash of crisp white wine, this is a dish that both young and old enjoy across Cyrodiil.

Meridia

Charred jerk wild boar stuffed with timber mammoth cheese and a delicious bloody jus-and-honey sauce is sure to make any Bosmer's mouth water! It's definitely dead, it's definitely cooked, and it's definitely bound to disappoint Meridia. Just a warning- try this for a laugh and you'll never be able to get rid of her beacon.

Azura

By Azura, please don't offer this to the Lady of Dawn and Dusk unless you want to irreparably have your race changed! Love and devotion is what this Prince craves, so why not damage yourself with a fiery Dunmeri Vvardenfell fondue, made from scuttle, crab meat, and extremely spicy fire petal blossoms? Enjoyed by the most pain-seeking of Dunmer, my version comes with fried hackle-lo leaf and saltrice-and-wickwheat bread for dipping. It'll have your guts in a twist for days, which is the price to pay for this deliciously hot "cheese" dish. Oh, and did I mention that it's best washed down with a nice cup of Vivec's Gingergreen Chai?

Nocturnal

There's absolutely nothing dark about a Redguard sun-jelly, made with fresh fruits from coastal Hammerfell. Coconut, palm fruit, watermelon, and bananas are the stars of the show in this dessert, set in a chilled agar jelly that keeps the heat at bay. The fanciest Redguards love mixing edible gold flakes into the jelly itself, giving it a delightful luster that is sure to put a smile on your face and chase the shadows away.

Clavicus Vile

You're not going to want to strike any bargain to give up a delicious baked chub loon gratin with echatere cheese, over hasselback potatoes and crispy radish chips. This Orcish delicacy is surprisingly so good it's even tickled the fancy of the fussiest eaters in Tamriel! The chub loon meat is juicy and melts in the mouth, and the echatere cheese melted into the cracks of a hasselback potato are wonderful with radish chips for dipping. Admit it, you're drooling aren't you?

[twistedweels]

Valentines Day

Riddle - Strawberry white chocolate in the shape of strawberries, or, strawberry white chocolate truffles covered in cookie crumbs

Ace - store bought chocolate covered cherries

Deuce - Chocolate flan (for extra fun/cuteness, find a way to carve a little Spade on top so when there's chocolate syrup on it, it shows up really well)

Cater - diamond shaped chocolates, mostly unsweetened savory-ish flavors like spicy chilis, kinako (toasted soybean powder), and with salt flakes, with interesting patterns and textures on the tops, like there's some things you can use to make chocolate look holographic (look up “holographic chocolate” )

Trey - if you are up to it, make a mousse cake with soft purple colored glaze, topped with candied violets

Leona - one of those bags of dick gummies with “eat a bag of dicks” - honestly drawing a blank, he seems super picky about stuff cause he's a rich brat and would complain about most things. Maybe just send a letter to Cheka like “I was going to ask your uncle Leona if he wanted to be my valentine but he said he wants to be your valentine instead” and revel in it

Jack - white chocolate mousse with a whole poached pear

Ruggie - A fully decked out donut with chocolate glaze, frosting, drizzle, and various cookies. Don’t forget a bottle of milk

Azul - lament that you wanted to make him a deep fried candy bar but that would be like his whole calorie allowance for the day. Instead, Give him some nice healthy dark chocolates.

Jade - Filled Mushroom shaped chocolates, extra points if you use edible paint to make them really look like real kinds of mushrooms, especially toxic ones, cause it's fun.

Floyd - Make little sea creature shaped chocolates in fun flavors and additives, like rice crisps, potato chips, pop rocks.

Kalim - Would be happy with anything you give him.

Jamil - Reject Kalims invitation to a feast for once Would also be happy with anything you give him.

Vil - Dark chocolates with antioxidant-rich dried berries and almonds

Epel - A box of smoked meats, if Vil or Rook could find out, go “oh no, i had some chocolates for you, but there's only this box of delicious smoked beef instead, shoot, I guess i'll just have to give you this instead of the chocolates”

Rook - A big chocolate heart with “please stop stalking me” written on it - He would probably like any handmade chocolates you make

Idia - chocolates in the shape of a really bad, cringe meme.

Ortho - a handmade Valentines day card with lots of computer puns

Malleus - filled chocolates in the shape of gargoyles (make sure they are actually gargoyles and not grotesques) bonus points if you can make them look like ones that he likes

Silver - would be happy with any chocolates you make him.

Sebek - bag of dicks #2, chocolate bust of Malleus, would accept anything you give him, but don't expect him to be openly grateful about it.

Lilia - Tomato chocolate (it's a thing) bonus points if you make it in the shape of a tomato.