#also me hours later: OH YEAH
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#me: wow why does everything feel so awful#why is my body Angry#what is wrong with me#am I having an physical crisis#or an emotional one#or a spiritual one#w h y#also me hours later: OH YEAH#maybe this is because I temporarily forgot that I was lactose intolerant#and had alfredo for dinner last night#and then pizza for lunch#and did not consider that there might be Consequences#possibly#just possibly#this has something to do with it#lolol
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quick itfs sketch page
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuuji#megumi#fr some reason it's rare fr me to b happy with monochrome pieces so i am combatting tht general dislike by making it itfs#harder 2 dislike smth when it's a bunch of sketches of my ship kissing#oh ya threw in some good ol Corner Angst also bc i ended up not wanting 2 draw a third kiss dsfhjshdsdfjg#doing this got me thinking about tht one itfs piece i did back in april#captioned smth smth 'im on an itafushi kick'#n how that was like. the piece that opened the floodgates n made me realize how actually insane i am abt them#before it was just a casual Yeah This Ship Is Cute ill draw for it when the mood strikes#then after doing tht draws i ws like wait a minute whats happening to me#now here i am 5 months later completely emotionally dependent on these 2 traumatized 15 year olds#anyway this sheet is kind of an homage 2 the other one :'> how far ive come. how far theyve come. they make me ill every waking hour
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not me having no adhd meds or weed the day before my interview
#my doctor: oh yeah ill send it to the pharmacy literally right now :)#hours later: no news#sorry I'm being unfair but also everything on earth needs to revolve around me
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The Many Illustrators of A Tale of Two Cities 7: A. A. Dixon
"'Collins' Clear-Type Press, let me ask you a question.'"
This is a very long post.
This week's edition has, in my research, become quite the edition.
Sadly, this image is the best source for the cover wrapper illustration that I could find.
You are likely familiar with Arthur Augustus Dixon's illustrations for the 1905 Collins Pocket Edition of A Tale of Two Cities. Several of them are very common to find in Internet searches and articles about the book, if not other editions of the book itself.
But the question raised by my research for this week's edition is: Are you familiar with all of them?
Thing is, as the source above states (read the whole article if you have the time, it's very interesting!), Dixon created twelve illustrations for this novel.
And sure enough, this source from the Internet Archive and this source from @oldillustrations (hello!) both have eleven of the same illustrations - with the twelfth presumably being for the wrapper, as seen in this source (previously cited) from the Victorian Web.
Alright, so that's three separate sources, all with (effectively) the same set of elaborate illustrations from 1905. Neat!
...
...but if you start counting...
...you'll notice that this seems...
...like a lot more than twelve!
Basically, there are five illustrations by A. A. Dixon that are completely unaccounted for in any of the three sources previously cited.
For the purposes of this post, the cover wrapper is considered #0 and is not pictured in these banners.
In full-size set of illustrations in this post, this source from Google Books is the source of four of those mystery illustrations:
#3: "'He stared at her with a fearful look.'" #6: "'Drive him fast to his tomb.'" #7: "He said, 'Farewell!'" #12: "'She appeared with folded arms.'" #9 ("'Patriots and friends, we are ready!'") and #11 ("'You are consigned to La Force.'") are sourced from Google Books in the full-size versions in this post simply because the Internet Archive versions of those two illustrations had cropping issues.
To me, this is mystery enough on its own. Why would another version of the book suddenly have more than the originally-stated number of illustrations by this artist? Especially considering that the Google Books source does not have #13 ("''I know you, Evremonde!''") - why would it be missing one of the "main" set?
It gets even more interesting.
As you'll notice in the banner, we're still one off: Keen-eyed observers of the full-size set of illustrations might have already noticed that #14 ("'Carton and the spy returned.'") looks a bit different than the rest of them - a bit like what happened in the previous edition of this series!
That's because that Dixon illustration comes from this completely random source - a post from a blog called the Paperback Palette dating back to 2018 - that I happened across on Google Images of all places while sitting on an airplane trying to set up this post last week!
And to top it all off, that source is missing #6!
At this point, if your first instinct is, reasonably, that perhaps Dixon didn't actually illustrate these extra five and that it was someone imitating him for later editions, then know that that was my instinct too - until I (dare I say it again) checked those signatures!!!
(I edited the colors to prevent flashing.)
All five of those illustrations bear Dixon's signature, so it's safe to assume that they are A. A. Dixon originals - from 1905, even.
Interestingly, #s 1, 10, 13, 15, and 16 don't have signatures! Does this mean anything? Probably not - as an artist myself, I often forget to put my own signature - but still, I can't resist mentioning it!
So the most likely explanation here is simply that the publishing house originally commissioned A. A. Dixon for more than twelve illustrations and then held on to some of them, eventually choosing to publish them in other editions. Still, we can't say for sure.
And as to why some are missing from the more "complete" sets - human error, most likely!
If you scrub through the Google Books source, you'll notice that #s 11 and 12 actually repeat (one even changes color, which I have no explanation for) - it's most likely either that the book was accidentally printed with repeats of #s 11 and 12 where 13 and 14 were supposed to go or that the person scanning this edition made a similar error.
As an aside, it's so interesting that the illustrations are evenly spaced throughout the book - I had not noticed that until now!
And as for the Paperback Palette source, it's most likely that the blogger accidentally skipped over an image while combing through their edition or just glossed over it when posting the batch (I understand that from experience!) We can see this by adding up the letters in some of the illustrations' captions - doing so reveals that the letters are meant to go to P, the sixteenth letter of the alphabet.
Thus, one must be missing! Case closed!
Except... It's actually (going by both the chronology of the book and the order in which this set was found in Google Books) missing the wrong letter! Here, it seems that In the Google Books source, #7 in the full set is given the seventh letter in the alphabet, G - whereas in the Paperback Palette source, "#7" is labeled as the sixth, F:
This implies not only that #6 is absent from the Paperback Palette source but also that there is a missing mystery illustration located between this source's H and K - that is to say, before or after #9!
EXCEPT... For one, this isn't the only inconsistency I've noticed - there are several places where the letters seem shifted in a strange way. I've seen #2 listed as "C" and #9 listed both as "H" and "I2i" (???), just as two examples. (My theory is that the cover wrapper and the frontispiece may be at play here, but who knows?)
More importantly, though, it seems that, for some mysterious reason, all of the sources with relatively consistent use of these letters (i.e. all but the Victorian Web) - even the sources with only eleven interior illustrations - still give #15 in the full set the fifteenth letter, O. Which, of course, may make all of this pretty moot anyway.
Dare I say..."Oh."
Suffice it to say, just as much as major sources like the Internet Archive and Google Books are vital to this sort of research and preservation work, so are smaller websites and bloggers! After all, without the Victorian Web and the Paperback Palette, we as collective netizens likely wouldn't have ever known about the cover wrapper or illustration #14 (not to mention that the versions of the illustrations from the set posted by @oldillustrations have by far the best image quality and standardization that I've found! Please go check them out if you haven't yet!).
As for the reasons behind Collins' Clear-Type Press not publishing all of the illustrations from the beginning (if that's the explanation we're to go with here), I suppose the question I'd like to ask is:
why? why would you put us through this?
& the standard endnote for all posts in this series:
This post is intended to act as the start of a forum on the given illustrator, so if anyone has anything to add - requests to see certain drawings in higher definition (since Tumblr compresses images), corrections to factual errors, sources for better-quality versions of the illustrations, further reading, fun facts, any questions, or just general commentary - simply do so on this post, be it in a comment/tags or the replies!💫
#A Tale of Two Cities#AToTC#dickens#charles dickens#bookblr#litblr#literature#classic literature#victorian literature#vintage illustration#illustration#illustrators#A. A. Dixon#1900s#UGH oh my GOD oh my GOD this one#like. hours. so many hours.#You Can See Why I'm Late With This One I Think#so yeah based on the pretty consistent thing with the letters I do believe there are very simply 16 interiors & a cover wrapper and no more#but Still like. why. whywhywhy couldn't they just be consistent#and again Why Why Why don't all of the versions just have all of the illustrations!! like hello! What Is Going On#maybe it Is significant that not all of them have Dixon's signature...but even then that raises so many questions#I'm also of course gonna keep my eye out for that cover wrapper because I want to see it in full and it does also confuse me#also check out number16 in a lot of those sources because there's a halo effect on Carton's head that isn't super visible in the one I used#anyway. 1) yes I accidentally said this was the 8th when it's the 7th 2) this month features a two-parter!#3) the results of the previous poll were a tie between Congratulatory and A Plea. the latter of which was my vote so nice work everyone#4) I'm either gonna skip the off-week's post this week and do it double for next time or just post it later in the week this week#so. until next time! & enjoy!
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So basically would you rather have "larger 2 to 3 part updates with a longer hiatus" or "smaller 1 to 2 part updates with a shorter hiatus"
#yeah nope my motivation is totally dipped#zapped#energy is still there ideas are still there but my attention span to sit and draw for hours said goodbye#anyways I have parts 2/3 done for the next update#might just post the first two parts and the third later in the week#this is also just kinda me asking hey would you like what I have now before my motivation dips for a whole week again#oh boy the irl has not been kind to me and I think I finally crashed from it#who knows maybe I can finish part 3 tomorrow though#who knows...#ight enough of a tag dump
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a strange trend in my favorite characters I realize is that I tend to heavily gravitate toward somewhat obscure, antagonistic forces
#shoutout to the multiple months when I was young when I was obsessed with flatwoman#‘who the fuck is flatwoman’ heh. well. you ever watch the pbs kids show peg + cat?#she appeared in like two episodes and let’s just say. I would’ve died for her as a kid#and yup ok you guessed it this trend continued with my boy pumpkin daddy#what thehell is wrong with that guy and more important question why is he my absolute favorite character of all time#I’m not even talking strictly about PDBC here alright? in that I have full control over him#in ROOTS? oh boy unstoppable force of nature someone Actually euthanize him or something he’s going to commit heinous crimes if left alone#he’s So bizarre mind if I just talk about that before going back to sleep? his morals are all over the place#‘this poor abandoned child. her mother should be ashamed of doing this to her. anyway let’s kidnap her for money’#and then he fucking pretends that he didn’t remember that happening#not that it DIDNT happen but that he just doesn’t remember it??.okay go off king??#at this point I don’t even know if he was lying he might just have Alzheimer’s or something he’s gettin kinda old#also Alzheimer’s is the worst word ever I have to look it up to spell it every time ffs so annoying#also worth mentioning that he almost got himself killed in a pursuit of someone’s money#and then not even a YEAR later he was back at it again trying to scam the SAME people lol GIVE IT A REST#I didn’t type lol this is travesty istg I didn’t type lol there there’s a lol ghost on the loose#he needs to be put down or something#and why the hell is he actually one of the nicest parents like huh?..?man what??#yeah this is my little science experiment I made solely for money. i love her she’s beautiful she’s awesome#my brother in Christ pick a side are you horrible or not#ok also wait that reminds me. it was unintentionally implied that he wasn’t evil once#I won’t go into it for the sake of time but. raises eyebrow. what the hell do you mean#at least I think it was unintentional. it’s still weird to me and I never bothered asking#anyway I should probably go back to sleep I have n appointment in like. two hours. sigh#yayyyy I love characters who suck!!! 🥰🥰🥰 pop off you asshole king and or queen
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Accidentally found myself working on two mp100 fics at the same time
#shit fuck shit fuck#mp100#mob psycho 100#THEY MADE ME DO THIS YO PERREO SOLAA SOMEBODY KILL MEE#hey matt came all this way had to explain direct from domingo#one of them is silly Kageyama sibling shenanigans like typical annoying siblings#it was supposed to be something dumb that i wanted to write while taking a break from my super angsty main fic#but the plot might thicken#as for my angsty fic it covers avoidant attachments running away capitalism and pining as usual#uhm yeah idk i just want to write about mp100 is it such a crime#i am projecting in my main fic just letting yall know but ykw many ppl have written something similar for shou#oopsies#yes shou#and also ritsu the one who burdens my projections in that fic cuz y not#ay pero no invaten pinches come solos#i also realized im supressing my emotions omg so mob kinnie twinning no srsly its a problem im suppressing memories too#so suddenly.im sad and then im like why am i sad and then i realize a few hours or days later oh yeah thats why im sad#like its a problem and uh yeah im so chill cuz im suppressing how do i not do that#party tomorrow tho!! 🎉 so i unsupress on monday cuz tomorrow is Saturday and i will be hungover sunday so monday i start#and Monday im calling off work cuz holy shit Thursday was not my day at work tho there were good things from that day#in neeEeEEw york cityyY#mob psycho
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#Ruining the semi normal sleep schedule I'd managed 2 keep going for like a week cus of paranoia 😎#This is ofcthe one time I'm like Actually fucking sleepy#I shocked myself earlier n am in a spiral about the whole “even a semi small shock can fuck up ur heart hours or days later” thing#Which idk if thats unreasonable paranoia or like normal n smart#The internet is 50/50 on it lol#Mom says im being paranoid. Called a like phone nurse about it who said it'd be smart 2 get it checked just 2 be safe#But it's late and doesn't feel serious enough for the er?#Also the er is hell. U just sit there for Hours waiting n then get looked at for 5 minutes told n2 wait even more n then told 2 just go hom#So I am just kinda... existing.. until stuff opens n I can hopefully see a doctor about it or something:)#And cus I was already feeling kinda sick Before the shock I can't be sure if I actually have any symptoms of something worrying#AAAAND my anxiety about the whole thing is making me over analyze every heartbeat or muscle twitch#N tricking my brain into believing shit that's not real#I wanna nap so bad but my brain won't let meee#Ok ramble is done... I just needed 2 get this out of my system somewhere...#Can u believe I use 2 think I didn't have anxiety?? I was all Oh yeah I'm Super chill 😎 while sirens played in my head 24/7#rambles
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the internet: yeah to practise harm reduction you go for areas that have more flesh to avoid going too deep and needing medical attention
me, an idiot: let's pick this spot anyway, how bad can it be. ...how did i get that deep that quickly
#tw sh#im fine although there was definitely a moment where i worried i wouldn't be#when you grab a rag and put pressure on it and a few minutes later move your hand and discover it was completely soaked and your hand#is all bloody now too. anyway it stopped shortly after that#someone told me recently that the width they'll start considering sutures is like 5mm which seems??? so odd to me??? like that's tiny??#anyway i didn't go as deep as the last two times yet so it's fine#(i also have a horrible habit of repeatedly going over the same place for several days afterwards so that will probably change)#but eh im fine#i was just surprised by how deep it got how quickly#also something i find funny: the way nurse brain doesn't shut off#'will i pick here - no wait that's near an artery/vein/nerve'#'or here - no wait that's too close to a good cannulation site'#'here - no too close to deltoid'#personal#puddleglum hours#but yeah i really am fine#although i have thoroughly discovered the allure of arm cutting so. we'll see#in my usual scintillating cleverness i literally thought about visibility this time bc it's nearly short sleeve weather and nobody knows im#going this deep. except my mentor and my sister. but they both only know about the first time#however i did not consider. that most of my clothing does not have as long a short sleeve as my placement uniform. so im gonna either#have to be real careful about what clothing i pick for the next. oh month or two. since the first one was end of august and it's a month an#a bit later and it's still got a while of healing to go before i can wear short sleevs and pretend the scar was from months an months ago i#asked. anyway!#play stupid games you win stupid prizes
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i am SO FUCKING POWERFUL MY EGO IS THROUGH THE ROOF
#artfight brings out the best in people#including me#my art capabilities are exponentially increasing#soon i'll be able to paint the fucking mona lisa#hey fun fact this started as a sketch#i was like ok yea i've got nothing better to do so i can sketch an attack and finish it later#that was 5 hours ago.#oh yeah uhhh#ultrakill#artfight#art#artwork#now i can use that tag without feeling like garbage#thank you aegis-of-worms and aggravateexe for designing such funny characters#also this might be an ultrakill blog for a while im having a bit of a hyperfixundo and it's higher ranking than murder drones#sorry#but also#L
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Just watched "I Saw The TV Glow" in cinemas and boy did I get chest kicked all the way back to my derealisation episodes when I was like 6 years old.
#movies are a crazy concept#oh yeah this 2 hour long montage of pictures makes me want to melt into a puddle and close my eyes#but alas i am exactly like owen and will continue to wake up in this world and pretend im making the right choices#i saw it with a friend but I don't think she fully realised how much the movie fucked me up#cried twice in cinemas#will probably cry again later#got ice cream after#now i feel empty#but im going out again tomorrow with friends so im excited!!#being here and alive is so strange#i feel like im wading through a swamp and slowly sinking#maybe ill also wake up one day#anways!!#probs wont delete :)#i saw the tv glow#movie review#spoilers#cinema
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i always forget i have Healthcare System Anxiety until i have to interact with The Healthcare System and immediately just start screaming internally for days
#my mom obliterated her bones and the pre-surgery surgery post-surgery experience. the ER situation. moving 2 the woods#this is a vent post i forget my complaining tag#waited 30 mins for an ambulance & when we called back they were like ''yeah it hasnt been assigned to anyone & might be hours''#so i drove her to the ER with a migraine & ran over some pylons (cool).#stuck in the ER for 9 hours. took 4 hours for anyone to give her any kind of pain management. i caught covid#was supposed to get a call when she was out of her 2 hrs max surgery. was told i could call if i hadn't heard anything#5 hours later i called and was transferred 6 times - told she had been discharged - told she had never been registered at that hospital -#yelled at by a nurse for asking for patient information - eventually got the right department and was told oh yeah sorry she's in recovery#was supposed to find out if she could come home or not in 30 mins. 3 hours later theyre like OK come get her#i show up and the doors to that wing are. locked? and no one's there to unlock them?#apparently i was supposed to pick up the wall phone? and call a code they hadn't given me? spent 30 mins getting help from other department#to GET THEM TO OPEN THE DOORS. FREE HER RELEASE HER#finally i get in and she's OK SHES FINE except morphine doesn't work on her so that's. fine. bodies are good to have#we have reached shrimp colours levels of anxiety i am a walking talking stress migraine but she's doing ok. but holy fuck#kayvswords#also like she's black and all of her nurses and doctors have been white so feeling normal about all of it all around
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maybe i am gods favourite little bitch after all..
#work went well despite the craziness#saw upstairs neighbours fr a second and got wished happy holidays#another gooooood date w the guy. he seems to be wooing me fr im like ☺️💖#an hr and a half of sleep and i am Wakened by upstairs neighbour who is locked out of his place tryna get back in#i manage to help him out w the tools i got plus hear hes moving in february. dunno if mb theyre all going or??#rip i know theyre good people but id love to get some sleep#oh and also once he got the door open i got to pet their doggy. yayyy#hes still cleaning up up there so phone time fr me rn but after imma sleep again. yey#ALSO at the date i dropped my phone at the entrance of the place and it DIDNT get stolen once i realised i lost it it was still right THERE#also tmi i started my period halfway thru the day rip but didnt bleed thru my beautiful work clothes and was fine on the date so. yayy!#let me choose to think i had a Good Day bc i asked yall to pray fr me in the morning like damn......they REALLY did pull through..#ALSO how could i forget. solidarity in the womens bathroom when the lock was fucked but a stranger offered to Stand Guard fr me. yeah#anyway might make new year plans w the guy if he'd like to idk. heeheeheeeee#edit half an hour after posting this btw he is still rummaging away up there!! my god!! at least i dont have work later today mye godde..#just hanging wmy dad and his wife in the afternoon we were gonna do a christmas market but changed plans to board games and a movie#which considering 1. the period situation and 2. this being my one day off before having to do retail again on mon/tue. thank god! thank YOU
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You know .
#my mental breakdown this summer was actually completely explainable and while i did/said things i dont stand by#i dont actually think i was the bad guy here. interestingly.#i had to help my mom move and it triggered a huge panic attack bc of past trauma from moving house#and so now my family is saying im going insane#and my friend kept egging me on to ask out his friend#who he and i had developed a really nice friendship but he did kind of like. seem like he was trying to be my personal savior#idk i had a big crush on him bc ofc i fucking did no man has ever treated me that well before#then i jokingly tell him how i feel and he goes all serious#oh and it was four days after the 17th anniversary of my fathers suicide#who i think had bpd/ptsd#so i may be developing the same disorder . and it’s freaking me out#this guy claims he knew i had a crush on him which actually means the way he was talking to me means he was to keep my attention#(he sent a picture of him zoomed in naked hours before this so EXCUSEEE ME FOR ASSUMING)#and i started getting upset with the way i was being talked to and asked him to just say he was talking to me that way for attention#for my own peace of mind. like mind u we were talking every day throughout the day for months#voice calls would last over 5 hours. that kind of thing#i snap at him finally but immediately apologize#he then sends me a screenshot of his ex telling him ‘you have experience in dealing with mentally ill women’#followed by him saying ‘youre right. teehee love you’#so yeah duh i went to the fucking hospital it’s like someone hit me with a hammer in the head three times#then my fucking friend who goaded me into confessing to him tells me when i get out that he feels like im trying to make him choose between#when all i ever did was apologize profusely over and over again#fuck my entire ass man. oh and then two weeks later my best friend abruptly told me she was moving to maine#in two weeks. well no she didnt say that. she said can i stay at yours for a week#and i said um. what? and she said yeah im moving. and then used the fact that she had to get an abortion weeks ago as an excuse for not#telling me. and i said dude what the fuck? and she never talked to me again! so#one two three all gone BAM BAM BAM#oh this was also a week before my birthday#the trauma from moving wasnt actually abt tbe moving it was about how i was treated when we were moving#or basically any stressful family event
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whyyyy are my parents fighting at 8:30 in the morning
#also my mom wanted to leave at 8.30 but they’re in bed whisper screaming at each other abt cat food#like girl…… you’re the one who wanted to leave early………#vaguely unrelated but the way nobody in my family ever respects my time lol#like yeah i need you to be ready at x and then i am#and everyone else decides oh actually that means like an hour later#except they don’t say it like that they just go 'oh i’ll be ready in a second'#so i just sit there unsure of whether i have time to do sth else or not#and then when i ask someone to be ready at a specific time they also never listen to me lol#📓
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barely an hour at work and already on the brink of another breakdown i need to quit this fucking job and/or perhaps kill myself
#my boss told me i work too much overtime and i agree but also i am literally the only trained person on kitchen and unless we're fully#booked im alone and have to do everything myself and if theres a task i cant finish its waiting there for me tomorrow to pick back up plus#literally everything else bc everything in this hotel is fucking broken so i cant even do everything on time like this fucking dishwasher is#now broken for the what?? tenth time this summer???? hello???? so the dishes keep piling up and up and up and i have to do them later#whenever the technician shows up but that all goes toward extra time that i cant do certain tasks#pkus the night guard is incompetent as fuck every single morning theres so many mistakes i need to fix and i always have to clean up his#parts as well bc he never finishes breakfast on time and then leaves the kitchen looking like a mess#and the buffet looks like shit bc even though i tell him a million times how hes supposed to put things he keeps doing them differently and#BADLY on top of that so the buffet looks like someone just threw up some food on it in random order like i cant keep coming an hour early#just to hold your hand through the process of putting prepared food in the designated spaces youve been here for a month now at some point#youre gonna have to be able to fucking do this every time i come an hour early thats an hour i work longer every day bc of course all the#cleaning up after breakfast is done doesnt get any shorter#and then on top of THAT apparently im now responsible for ordering shit for the entire hotel and running meetings and oh yeah im also#supposed to watch over reception tomorrow WHILE doing breakfast. fantastic. thats gonna go so well i cant wait 👍🏻#and im also working on sunday btw. so cool. bc clearly im so well adjusted and also mentally stable that i dont need a weekend or whatever.#and its fully booked with one of the most important businesses in town so like no pressure no pressure#and of course the boss is on vacation bc she somehow is always on vacation during the busiest days which is also so cool of her to do#also did i mention no one is ever gonna love me and ill die alone bc i only fall for people i can never be with#but also thats cool and chill and i dont even care 👍🏻
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