#also man i wanna eat spicy food

[unfortunate--moth]

hey guys after i eat food and start feeling normal again should i start writing or should i draw vote now

[moomoog017]

fics ᯓᡣ𐭩 the rolling of the ball ꔛ✿

The Bad Batch x Maid! FEM Reader

Synopsis: As you enter the ball with the Bad Batch, all the brothers show you affection in their own ways.

Genre: Fluff, a bit suggestive

Word Count: 3,117 (omg)

Warnings: fluff, suggestive flirting, creepy dude (he doesn't do anything)

A/N: This is literally gonna be a whole series of oneshots I LOVE THIS IDEA. It's finally here in all of it's glory enjoy!

・・・

No. 0.5: Of 'The Brothers'

The Brothers - Royal Bad Batch x Maid FEM!Reader || Fluff, spicy

(Story Masterlist)

Stepping inside, the bustling noise of various guests laughing and conversing made your eyes widened. This was definitely out of your realm but you took a deep breath, the next thing that hit your senses was the strong smell of perfumes; some were fruity, some were earthy but they all smelled bad to you…Everyone else had stepped forward but you were left slightly further back. Hunter looked behind him and the look of empathy graced his tanned skin.

The two of you met eyes and a small smile pulled at the corner of his lips. “Hey, how are you feeling?” Your face became a mix of uncertainty and Hunter understood. He stepped back to you and gently put his calloused hand on your arm, “I get it; don’t hesitate to ask me if you wanna head outside for some fresh air alright?” His voice filled you with warmth and care, and you nodded. “Thank you Hunter,” he nodded back and released your arm, you then stepped forward with the man. He turned to you and Omega, “alright off you two go, I need to discuss business.”

You then looked down at Omega and she wiggled her eyebrows at you. “Don’t even,” you warned snickering. She laughed, “Let's find the hors d'oeuvres table.” She had a mischievous grin on her face as she took your hand, “you know me so well Omega.” You two hurried to the table covered in rich silk littered with various foods both sweet and salty.

Unsurprisingly Wrecker was already there, piling food into his mouth. Echo stood beside him with a disgusted face as he watched the horror in front of him. Omega chuckled and smelled the food, “oh this looks delicious!” You had also come up further inspecting the food. Wrecker then looked to you, “yeah it’s ok but Y/n could do so much better.” You smiled at the large man as he smirked at you. “Thanks Wrecker,” you spoke with sincerity. He responded, “no problem sweetheart.”

Your temperature rose hearing his words, in an attempt to hide your embarrassment you took a small hors d'oeuvre in your mouth. Echo and Omega were talking, Echo probably lecturing her on proper eating etiquette since she was still quite new to all of this.

Wrecker looked over to you once more, taking a few steps closer. “So which one’s your favorite?” You took a napkin dapping it onto your soft lips, “this one is super good.” Wrecker smiled slightly leaning against the wooden table. “Oh yeah?” He had a glimmer in his eye and you raised your eyebrows. Wrecker reached over taking the food you gestured to and brought it up to your mouth. “Open wide sweetheart,” he was now pretty close to you and you could feel him disturbing the fabric of your poofy dress.

Your eyes widened and you hesitantly leaned in closer to take the food gently from his rough but tender fingers. Closing your eyes momentarily as the hors d'oeuvre pressed against your tongue and the feeling of Wreckers fingers brushed the bottom of your lip almost sensually. As you chewed you turned your head embarrassed trying to enjoy the food but your ears became warm as Wrecker looked at you through half-lidded lashes. “Does that taste good sweetheart?” His words teasing you, as you swallowed you nodded slowly. “Yes Wrecker even better than the first time,” you attempted to tease back.

Wrecker still stood close to you and you had to move away before you started to fidget the fabric of your dress. In an awkward chuckle you brushed a piece of loose hair from your temple. “Good,” Wrecker said, pleased now, eating his own hors d'oeuvre. It looked like he was going to speak again but was interrupted by the sudden music that echoed throughout the hall. Omega and Echo were also curious as to where the noise came from and the piano began to play.

It was soft and calm as the keys were lightly pressed. Echo then got an idea, he walked up to you offering his hand to you. “Hey Omega let’s hit the floor!” Wrecker spoke offering his hand to Omega, she took it and off they went. Echo looked back to you, “and what do you say mesh’la?” Echo titled his head, hand still outstretched to you.

“Echo, I've never danced before…” You said rubbing your arm. He gently took your hand, “just follow my lead, you’ll be safe with me.” How could you resist Echo when he’d asked so nicely. “Fine…” With your consent, Echo ushered you to the dance floor and found a less crowded spot. He placed his scomp on your waist and took your hand in his. “Don't worry this is a slow dance,” his voice filled with care, making sure you were comfortable.

You nodded and put your hand on his shoulder. “We’ll take it slow,” the music began to pick up as it finished the overture. The violin and piano played beautifully and it calmed you, your shoulders and body began to relax as you looked into Echo’s delicately faded brown eyes. Your bodies were pressed tenderly together, the warm heat radiating off of Echo’s body. You began to fidget with the seam of his suit. In synchronicity to the music Echo led you with care as the two of you danced across the floor.

He was patient and calm as he held you lovingly. It was like you two were the only ones getting lost in the dance together so close to one another. You stumbled over his feet sometimes but he made sure you never fell. “You are good at this sarad,” Echo chuckled quietly, his grip on you grew ever so tighter. “I’ve almost fallen multiple times…” Slightly embarrassed you turned your head away from the pale man. He then removed his scomp from your waist bringing your chin back to face him. Your face a deep blush as you looked at him dreamily. “But I never let you fall did I?” His words were low and sweet. You shook your head stubbornly, “only because of you.”

Echo chuckled and he dipped you down slowly, looking at you his eyes were passionate, then he brought you back to his chest. “Oh hush,” he said as the music continued to play. The two of you danced until the music came to a rallentando. Your cheeks were flushed and Echo bowed; in return you curtsy. “You were beautiful,” the words came to Echo so naturally. You were in a state of calm but also panic as everyone began to crowd back to the floor. You excused yourself from Echo and he nodded, letting his hand linger on yours.

You looked for Hunter wanting to take him up on his offer as you grew more anxious. Making your way through the dense crowd you saw him sitting down with other military members. You hesitantly walked up to the table doing a curtsy to the others. You bent down to Hunter’s ear as you spoke. “Can we visit the gardens?” Your voice was slightly panicked and with a sense of urgency.

Hunter nodded and stood to his full height. “Excuse me gentleman,” his voice deep and commanding, he took your hand and led you outside. An immediate breath of fresh air filled your senses as you inhaled. Hunter released your hand, “apologizes.” You shook your head, “no, thank you for keeping your promise.” A playful scoff came from the long haired man, “I always keep my promises, especially when it comes to you.”

A small chuckle of gratitude left your lips, “thank you Hunter.” He looked at you with his loving hazelnut eyes. You two began to saunter through the small garden. It was turning night and crickets could be heard chirping. Hunter broke the silence, “you know balls aren't my favorite either.” Your eyes met his curiosity, “really? It seems they come naturally to you.” Hunter snickered, “I've been doing it for a long time, those guys wear me out.”

He sat down on a stone bench and you followed. “Is it because of your enhanced senses?” He nodded, “and they’re okay but not my favorite people.” Feeling a little closer and more confident you leaned in slightly, “and who are?” He leaned in a little as well, “my brothers, Omega, you…” You knew the brothers all saw you more than just a maid but it was still nice to hear. You only smiled and Hunter spoke once more, “feeling better?” You nodded. There were few people in the garden; the two of you were surrounded by flowers and herbs. Hunter shifted his weight down reaching for a flower.

“For you,” he held the flower out to you and you took it. “Thank you but don't tell the host,” you both chuckled. “Just don't tell them, here,” he held his hand out for the flower and you gave it back to him. He then tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as he placed the flower snug between your ear and your hair. “There,” content with himself. You could feel his hot breath almost against your neck when he placed the flower. “Looks good on you,” he smiled and you leaned away, afraid you might capture his lips. “Thank you,” you stuttered looking up at the sky.

Watching, people made their way from the garden and back inside. You both stood, “dinner perhaps?” You inquired. Hunter responded looking at the group migrating, “probably my dear.” Before you could react, Hunter had taken your hand and the two of you walked back inside. Hunter stopped you clearing his throat looking at the flower. Getting the message you took the flower from your hair and tucked it into your dress. Hunter released your hand as you two made it to the dining room. You then found a seat between Tech and Crosshair. Omega and Hunter sat beside each other and Wrecker and Echo sat beside those two.

Preparing yourself to eat you placed your napkin on your lap. Tech looked over to you, “glad you decided to sit with us.” He gestured to him and Crosshair. “Well of course,” you nodded your head grateful. Crosshair looked you up and down before remarking, “you have quite the manners little maiden.” Your head shot in his direction and he had a smirk on his face. “Come now Crosshair,” Tech responded for you as the food was brought in front of all of you. Laughter and conversation rang throughout the dinner table as all sorts of guests interacted with one another. “Tech, could you pass the salt-” Tech had already placed the salt in front of you, “certainly angel.” You and Crosshair looked in slight amusement at Tech’s attentiveness. “Thank you,” now having a grin on your face.

Crosshair was quietly eating his meal, seeming to enjoy it. Tech gave you anything you needed whether it was salt, pepper, another napkin, utensils, it didn’t matter because Tech was ready for anything you needed. You found it sweet how proper and kind he was. “Can I tell you about the new research book I’m writing?”

You perked up at Tech’s words and excitement ran through you. “Of course I do Tech,” turning your body slightly to face him, he continued. “Well after many observations of different inventions, I’ve come to a conclusion-” Tech went into complete detail about the book and you were fascinated. You were one of the few people who listened to him for hours asking questions and being intrigued. “So the device you’re working on? What stage is it in right now?”

His ears perked up and he pressed his glasses further up his nose. “Oh well you see, I’ve been drafting it on paper but I am certain I can move onto the actual construction,” he pointed his finger. He paused for a moment, “but I was thinking perhaps you could help me build it angel, no one is quite as willing as you are.” His words made you feel special and you replied, “I would love that Tech.” There was a glimmer of happiness within him, although he never really spoke his emotions; if you knew how to read him it was easy.

“Really?” He sounded shocked. “Really.” That same glimmer became even brighter as he excitedly took your hands. Luckily you weren’t holding a utensil. “Oh we could make so many things together and I could teach you so many things my angel.” Your heart nearly melted as you smiled sweetly at him. “I would love everything about that!”

You couldn’t help yourself become a little giddy as well. As he held your hands tenderly, he noticed removing his hands from yours. “Sorry, I got a little-” You shushed him quietly, “it’s okay I didn’t mind.” A deep flush of red crept up his cheeks and you chuckled softly. You finished eating and wiped your hands and face with the napkin in your lap.

Tech looked over to observe you, “may I?” You nodded a little hesitant but he held his napkin bringing it to the corners of your mouth. The feeling was nice and calm as he removed a spot you had missed, you uttered a small thank you and he nodded. Everyone else was pretty much done eating but then a large burly man sat down rather sloppily and next to Crosshair. All the guests looked over at the man with worry and slight disgust in their eyes. The Batch watched closely as the man practically threw the food on his plate. Wow the manners of this guy…

Everyone continued on now slightly a little more uncomfortable. But the Batch had their eyes locked to him like an eagle. Crosshair was clearly displeased, snarling at the sloppy man as he got food everywhere. We all watched Crosshair tense as the man spoke obnoxiously, “great party!” Crosshair attempted to ignore him until a firm grasp came unwelcomely to his shoulder. Uh oh…the Batch all thought. Even Omega held her breath momentarily.

“You’re drunk,” Crosshair spat at the man. He only laughed loudly, “no I’m having a great time!” Before Crosshair could respond he turned his head to you, voice loud. “Wow would you look at this pretty thing?!” You winced at his tone of voice, looking cautiously. Crosshair felt his patience thinning at every word. The drunk man looked around at the rest of the brothers smirking and met eyes with you. “Ha I see what’s happening now!” Crosshair's voice was low and warning, “watch it.”

The man ignored Crosshair, “what you all take turns with the little maiden?” Your eyes widened in horror as the brothers were about to speak but Crosshair’s tongue was quicker. “Don’t talk to her like that, you slob,” The man finally turned back, he was about as tall as Crosshair. “What did you just say to me?” Crosshair repeated the phrase but with a slight growl. The man stood now and Crosshair remained sitting unafraid. “I suggest you leave before I make you,” Crosshair scoffed. “I think it would be the other way around you slob.”

The rest of the brothers sent ‘don’t do it’ look at their brother but Crosshair didn’t care. The man tried to throw a punch at him but Crosshair stood, capturing his arm. “You’re weak too,” Crosshair snarled. All the other guests were silent as they watched the throwdown. Before things got bloody, the rest of the brothers held the man and Crosshair away from each other. “I’m good, get off of me,” he pushed Tech off of him as he stuck his hands in his pant pockets before walking away. The other man was fuming with rage as the others tried to calm him. You held up your dress as you hurried after Crosshair.

He stood in a more secluded room with lighting only coming from the moonlight through the large glass windows. You made your way into the room releasing your dress from your hands. Crosshair looked over to see your silhouette. “Hey you,” you said lightheartedly. Crosshair looked away with a toothpick in his mouth. You slowly approached him, your heels tapping softly on the wooden floor. You stood beside him, “thanks for that.”

His eyes finally met yours, his eyes softened seeing the moonlight caressing your soft features. Feeling his face flush he turned his face away, “yeah whatever.” You touched his arm, “I mean it.” He looked down at you, “only I get to call you little maiden.” He had the faintest smirk as he shifted his toothpick to the other side of his mouth.

You chuckled gingerly, “let’s keep it that way, huh?” Crosshair’s eyebrow cocked to you, “glad you agree doll.” His words always sent shivers up your spine but being alone in the moonlight with him stirred something within you. Finally Crosshair fully turned to you, he moved closer now enclosing you to the wall behind you. You gazed up to him, his expression was hard to read but his actions were impossible to misunderstand.

“You know as soon as that slob started talking about you…I almost lost myself, I wanted to do a lot more than grab his arm,” his eyes darkened but still held that softness he always had for you. “I know Crosshair,” hearing his name come from your soft lips encouraged him more. He moved a little closer now, his body on yours, his movement was delicate but his eyes were alluring. You couldn’t stop yourself, you raised a hand to his cheek. His stubble is rough against your hand. Crosshair slightly leaned into your touch as he closed his eyes momentarily. “There’s something about you my little maiden,” your stomach began to twist as his words tempted your ears.

You released your hand from Crosshair’s face and he removed himself from looming in front of you. There was a comfortable silence between the two of you. It calmed Crosshair knowing you were beside him and even thanked him for causing a little ruckus. It made him grin, you looked over noticing and the reflection of the moonlight on his angular face. “What are you grinning about?” He dipped his head to you still looking out to the moon. “You, little maiden.”

After the day had ended and the ball was over you lay in your bed thinking about all the brothers and how sweet they were. You couldn’t get them off your mind, you may be the maid and the military men but that only made you want them more…with sweet dreams you fell asleep with the fuzzy feeling of warmth in your chest. Wondering what the days beyond would bring.

[earthry]

How to Tempt Your Papas (Headcanons)

How to get your papas home early, inspired by this post (also mentioned in Copia's section).

sfw mostly, a little spicy imagery in some parts, gn!reader

Primo

Primo has such a soft spot for you. All you really have to do is send him some really sappy message telling him that he makes you so happy and you love him very much and he just melts.

He’ll send an equally long message about how he feels the same, how he loves you without requisite and that you make him want to be a better man every day of his life. That’s your hook and line. 

For the sinker, send him a selfie of you in one of his sweaters all cozy in bed with a empty space beside you with a text saying ‘I miss you so much, I’m so cold and lonely without you :(‘ no matter how cheesy you think it is, it will capture good ol’ peepaw’s heart.

He’ll go ‘Oh no :( I left my dearest all alone, how could I? Shall I come home early tonight, amore mio?’ And voilà he’s home in less than half a hour. Mission successful. 

Secondo

You’d think if you send nudes it’ll rile him up enough to come home and have his wicked wiles with you but no. This man is shameless. He’ll get off right then and there to your picture and send one back of his handiwork with a promise to absolutely ruin you later for trying to tempt him. 

The first time you do this you learn that while it is a good motivator, it does not get him home any faster. Kind of backfires because when he sends you a well-framed shot of himself in hand entirely spent and messy, you're the one getting all hot and bothered now.

What really gets him home quickly is your home cooking. Make any authentic dish (especially with his mom’s recipe) and mans will be home in less than 20 minutes because that shit is fire when it’s hot out the oven.

He knows if he waits it’ll either get soggy or cold and he hates re-heating food. If you make his favorite he’ll be back in even less time.

Terzo

Where nudes don’t bring Secondo back, it’ll send Terzo packing for home. He’ll be back so fast you barely have time to put your phone down. He is so enthusiastic and most times it feels like he just can’t get enough of you.

Sure, he could wait until he’s done with his work to go home to you, glance at his phone every so often to motivate himself to finish quicker, but where’s the fun in that? His tesoro’s ready for him and who is he to keep them waiting?

He’ll dump his work onto some poor unsuspecting sibling of sin or ghoul and be out the door in seconds.

While it's very effective, you should be prepared to follow through with this man

Alright. For my ace-spectrum lovelies and those who feel uncomfortable with the idea of sex, I love you and you are so valid. Your method of choice will be Italian Soap Operas.

Every night before bed you'll watch a few episodes of a soap opera together, following along and commenting on outrageous choices or acting and pointing this out to each other.

Tell him if he doesn't come home, you're gonna start it without him. If that doesn't seem to get his butt moving, send another text ten minutes later saying 'do you want spoilers' or 'i did not expect that to pan out this way' or something about the episode coming up and he will respond with keysmashes and be on the way in no time.

Copia

Rat photos. Send him cute photos of his rats and he will cave and want to go home.

He’s a hard worker so sometimes he pulls all nighters and then just stays in the office for the whole next day as well. To lure him back to make sure he’s taking care of himself and getting food and sleep, make pancakes.

Make some for you and him and then tiny pancakes for the rats and take a picture. Tell him they’re waiting on him to eat together! They’re starving! But they really wanna wait for their papa to have breakfast together. Copia is home in minutes. 

You can also send vaguely threatening (but not really) texts with a blurry photo of his beloved rats (like this post that I love very much) with a text saying “come home or she/he gets it”. He’s not worried that you’ll actually do anything to his babies, but he’ll still want to come home faster because fuck that’s really cute and funny of you.

[lovelywingsart]

I opened sketch asks on Instagram and got a bunch of fun ones, but here's the two I did for Saren and Cam uwu

First one was for them in the Winter- Cam also doesn't like the cold! And they are very serious about strangling him with the scarf lmao (Also yes, that means that Garrus was not the only one complaining on Noveria- but he WAS the more obnoxious one about it. Thankfully Saren is relatively quiet despite clearly being very displeased.)

Second one was for... a cheese party! uwu We (me and friends) have an inside joke about turians being able to eat cheese, so it's just a thing for us now. So, any time there is cheese, there is most certainly at least one turian involved- in this case, it's probably a little event with those nice cheese platters with different kinds, and Saren and Cam just. Make a habit of trying all of them. However, I had the thought of the one they're handing him being a spicy cheese because they enjoy spicy food- but they forgot to tell him. Cue the poor man dying in a corner because why is it SPICY-

Also, if you have any sketch ideas for me, PLEASE send them in!!! I don't do them very often on instagram (metalworksfactory over there), but I always have Asks open here. So if you wanna see more for these two, Metalworks, anything, feel free to send them! I could always use the ideas <3

[techs-ass]

The Bad Batch Head Canons - Favorite Flavors

So for a little background on this, one of my love languages is cooking. I love cooking for my loved ones and and it boosts my ego when they enjoy my food. This kinda popped into my head the other day when I was thinking about things I would cook for Tech. So then I started thinking about flavors that the other batchers would like/dislike and thus flavor headcanons were born!

I know it's a little random but I enjoy thinking about fluffy stuff like this (in between the constant flow of smut in my head) so I hope you guys like it too!

Also, this is my first post in TBB fandom!! I'm so excited :D I hope ya'll like my stuff~ Please feel free to like, reblog, comment. You're interactions feed my ego.

TW: There's like one or two sex jokes but nothing really nsfw

Hunter

Hunter isn’t a picky eater but because of his senses, he’s very easily overwhelmed by strongly scented foods. If you want to cook for him, just keep this in mind and maybe open some windows for him. Overall, I feel Hunter doesn’t get to really sit down and enjoy his food often so I think he’d really enjoy having a spouse that likes to cook for him.

Spicy: I feel like because of his heightened senses, Hunter isn't a big fan of really strong flavors so immediately anything spicy is out especially if it has a really strong scent. I don’t think that he can’t handle spiciness, it’s just that he has a strong dislike for it. 

Sweet: Hunter likes sweet things but he’s definitely not as into them like Wrecker. I feel like he’s more of a fruit kind of sweet guy. Like if you give him the option between chocolate or freshly sliced peaches, he’s gonna go for the peaches. His favorite kind of cake is any cake with fruit on it. Bring this man a bowl of fresh fruit after a long day of hot work outside and you’re gonna see hearts in his eyes. 

Sour: No. Absolutely not. Do not bring this man anything sour, he won’t even look at it. You know how some restaurants will bring you water with lemon? He will send the water back (or give it to Tech)  because it’s already ruined to him. Don’t even think about offering sour candy to him because he will gag in your face. Trick him into eating something sour and he won’t speak to you for a week. Hunter doesn’t claim to hate many things but sour stuff is right at the top of this man’s list.

Savory: You wanna bring this man to his knees? Make him fall head over heels? Bring him a plate that has medium-rare, lightly seasoned steak and a piping hot baked potato and he’s YOURS baby. Hunter loves savory things, very much a meat and potatoes guy. Make him a good homemade gravy and you’re gonna get his gravy later that night. I could see him really enjoying southern cooking because it’s a very savory cuisine. But be a little light with the spices, at least if it has a strong scent. Other than that he’s not picky about savory foods. 

Bitter: Refer to ‘spicy’ but there’s the exception of caf. He does add a little sugar to it when he can to help balance it out. But overall, he’s not really into bitter things. He does occasionally like bitter wines though! 

Tech

Tech doesn’t really eat because he enjoys eating, he eats because he has to. If your love language is cooking, you might struggle a little when it comes to Tech. It’s not that he’s super picky, he just…doesn’t enjoy eating? He doesn’t dislike it. It’s just something he does in order to keep his body going. It’s almost like a chore. He’ll do his best to try your cooking though! He doesn’t want to make you feel bad.  

Spicy: Tech is pretty neutral when it comes to spicy things. He does occasionally enjoy some spicy food but he likes more subtle spice. Something with a very low heat to it that is more in the background than the main flavor. If you bring him something that's really spicy, he will most likely not eat it. 

Sweet: I don't see Tech being a sweet fan. Not that he particularly dislikes sweets but he doesn't like them either. If he does eat sweets, it’s probably going to be hard candy.Like he really enjoys peppermints or butterscotch. Doesn’t really enjoy sweet fruits either.

Sour: No one in the galaxy can convince me that this man doesn't pop sour candies like his life depends on it. Tech LOVES sour things. He's the kind of guy to ask for extra lemons for his water. He keeps a stash of super sour candies in various places around the ship so he has access to them at all times. This man can suck on limes like they're butterscotch. He adores oranges and green apples!! Bring him some peeled oranges that are already broken apart (the less work it takes for him to eat something, the happier he is)  and you'll have him wrapped around your finger.

Savory: Tech likes savory foods. I see him really enjoying grilled cheese sandwiches with soup. He likes his savory food to be relatively simple though so maybe don’t season it too much. 

Bitter: You would think that because he enjoys sour things that he would like bitter foods but the answer is no. He honestly doesn't even like caf, he just drinks it for energy and that's about it. Tech will actively avoid anything with a bitter flavor. Do not bring this man dark chocolate, he will spit it out. 

Wrecker

Wrecker is absolutely not a picky eater. This man LOVES food and will rarely turn a meal down. I can’t even begin to fathom the amount of ration bars it took to make this man feel full. Wrecker is the perfect person for you if your love language is cooking food. He will always be willing to eat what you make! You mean you?? The love of his life?? Made him something to eat?? Just for him?? Maker, you’re literally perfect, marry him right now. 

Spicy: Y'know those people who can't handle even a singular flake of red pepper? The kind of people who eat something with a *hint* of spice and start dramatically waving at their tongue and calling for milk? That's Wrecker. This big boy cannot, under any circumstances, handle spiciness. He'll try to act tough but you can see the tears in his eyes and his cheeks are comically red. It’s honestly kinda cute.

Sweet: You thought Hunter had heightened senses? You haven't seen Wrecker around sweets. Did you eat a singular piece of chocolate 3 hours ago? Did you happen to put a piece of candy in your pocket? Wrecker can SMELL it. He's all over you like a hound dog asking you where you're hiding the candy. This man loves sweets. You will never be able to hide sweets from him.  He WILL find them and consume all of it. You want Wrecker to turn into putty in your hands? Shower him with sweets, bake him cookies. If you’re a baker, you’ll never have to worry about your sweets going untouched. 

Sour: I feel like Wrecker would enjoy sour candy but not really sour foods. He doesn’t mind a squeeze of lemon over fish or something with a sour element but he doesn't really like just straight sour. Overall, he’s kinda neutral to it.

Savory: Yes. Absolutely yes. You gonna look me in the face and tell me this huge man doesn't gorge himself on meat like a man starved for 30 rotations? Give him a fat turkey leg and it'll be eaten to bone within minutes. Wrecker loves savory foods (though not as much as he loves sweets) and will enjoy most savory dishes. I feel like he would enjoy anything with tomatoes in it. Feel free to go heavy on the seasonings too! Wrecker loves things with a lot of flavor! I personally feel like smoked paprika would be a favorite of his. 

Bitter: Again, with the exception of caf, no. Wrecker just doesn’t like anything bitter and adds loads of sugar to his caf to cover the taste of it. He looks like he might cry if he goes to bite into some chocolate and finds out it’s dark chocolate. Literally nothing will ruin his day more.

Echo

I think we can all agree the Echo is an extremely picky eater. The amount of times we see him turn his nose up at food is almost comical. My deepest condolences if you want to try and win this man through his stomach because you are up for a challenge. You’re gonna have to serve him any food you make him on those plates with the separated compartments. Because by Maker, if one of the foods touches the other, he’s not going to eat any of it. Try not to take it personally if he doesn’t like what you cook. With that in mind,

Spicy: Spicy? No. Absolutely not. Bring him food that he knows is spicy and he won’t even look at it. He’ll just look at you with a quirked eyebrow like “You don’t expect me to touch this do you?”  

Sweet: Eh. Echo isn’t really a big fan of sweets though he doesn’t mind eating fruits. He’ll occasionally indulge in candy but it’s very rare and he’ll only eat one or two bites before he’s done. He does enjoy baked sweets though if it’s got a good flavor balance! Think like sugar cookies made with almonds or dark chocolate covered strawberries. He’ll eat it as long as it’s not overbearingly sweet. (Don’t tell anyone but he’s got a soft spot for oatmeal cookies)

Sour: Once again, no. Absolutely not. Very similar to Hunter in that regard. Feed him something that’s even slightly sour and he will spit it out. He honestly doesn’t even like the smell of sour things. Whenever Tech is going on a sour binge both Echo and Hunter will avoid him like the plague because even the smell makes them nauseous. If you purposely trick him into eating something sour, do not expect him to be willing to try your food for a while. He won’t trust it. 

Savory: Yes but similar to Tech in the regards that he likes simple things. Bring him grilled chicken with some rice and he’ll be pretty content. If you want to bring him a snack then bring him some garlic bread. He’ll devour that shit. Bacon is another good food to give him but you do have to make sure you cook it perfectly. If it’s too soft or too cooked, he won’t like it. Be VERY light with seasonings. He’s extremely picky with how things taste so if it has too many flavors, he’s not going to like it. Your best bet would be just stick with pepper and salt.

Bitter: Surprisingly…yes. One of the few things Echo does enjoy is bitter foods. He loves his caf without anything added. Bring him some hot, fresh caf and some dark chocolate and darlin’ he’s yours.

Crosshair

Many things will be complicated if you enter a relationship with this grumpy sniper but oddly enough, food is not one of those things. He’s not a picky eater and will consume just about anything that’s put in front of him. However, be prepared for him to be very blunt about your food. He’s not afraid to tell you if he hates something or if the food doesn’t taste good. Be ready to be teased for weeks if you accidentally burn something.

Spicy: Literally the only batcher who enjoys spicy food. Crosshair loves spicy food and will usually ask things to be made extra hot. You know those menus where they got like the little flaming peppers indicating spiciness level? Yeah, he always gets the max heat. He’s the kinda guy where you’ll hand him a plate of food and he’ll ask for hot sauce or sriracha to put on it. Sometimes he’ll specifically order spicy food just to bother Wrecker and eat it in front of him with a shit eating grin while he calls him weak. 

Sweet: Yes but only secretly. He’ll never openly admit it but he loves sweets. His sweet tooth almost rivals Wreckers. He has a secret stash that he keeps very well hidden and every once in a while will sneak off the Marauder to go eat his candy in peace. If you like to make baked goods, you’ll have to listen to him grumble about how he absolutely doesn’t like sweets as you watch him devour the entire plate of chocolate chip cookies that you pulled out of the oven less than five minutes ago.

Sour: Crosshair doesn’t dislike or like sour foods. He’s pretty neutral to it and it really just depends on this dish. He’d probably enjoy things like kimchi but doesn’t enjoy sour candies. It’s pretty much a coin flip on whether he’ll like it or not.

Savory: Do you want this gruff sniper to be completely wrapped around your finger? Want him to fall to his knees and declare his undying love for you? Bring him some heavily seasoned savory food and he’s a goner. Spicy fried chicken? He’s gonna follow you like a love-sick puppy for months. Literally anything with potatoes. Anything. With. Potatoes. Spicy and cheesy? He’s dead and gone to heaven. 

Bitter: No. Just no. Crosshair hates bitter foods probably because he’s bitter enough all by himself. If you happen to catch him making a cup of caf, you’ll see him dumping loads of sugar into it. Like just an entire bag. You know how southerner’s make their sweet tea? (If you don’t, just know that my family recipe for sweet tea is one gallon of tea with about three cups of sugar. That is considered normal.) That’s how Crosshair makes his coffee.

[softcitrus2345]

Do you have any lil trivia facts you'd wanna share about your OCs?

(Also Hugo looks so bbg I love him already.)

- 🐌

Ah thank you so much!! I'm glad you like him, he's very dear to me TTwTT And yes! Since you mentioned him, I'll give some lil fun facts about Hugo! :3

Alright, HUGO INFODUMP TIME >:P

I based him off of a shetland pony, so he's very short for a centaur, standing at about 5'9"

He's a college professor who teaches mythological studies :3 Hugo's a real friendly guy, he's very bouncy and loves his job since he gets to teach a subject that he's passionate about (mythological studies/species, basically educating more about different myths and teaching about them at face value instead of sticking by a lot of the stigmas and fears people might have towards certain species/legends)

He's easily flustered and has an overall warm aura about him, he's a real sweetheart and always tries to look out for his students and loved ones

He enjoys getting to spend time with people he's close with, but finds it more difficult in social situations he's not familiar with TTwTT He does his best to make sure that his class and his office can be a safe space for all students, and he himself is a trans man 💖 He NEVER turns down a good meal and especially loves foods that leave him full and satisfied and warm in his tummy ;;w;; He enjoys being able to eat as much as he pleases, and with two stomachs, he can fit a LOT in him >;3c He seems like the sweet innocent type but he can be cheeky and spicy when he wants to~

[lunatic-pudge]

Duke Nukem General (and Relationship) Headcanons

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey, gang, I'm deviating from Postal and TF2 for a sec and giving a little bit of attention to Duke Nukem. Seeing so much Dude x Duke fanart has started to make me grow a thing for Duke. I'm still learning about the franchise and the character so my interpretation of him might be a little OOC. These are general headcanons and some relationship stuff. Gott work on my Duke Nukem skills. If you enjoy these and want more, feel free to hit up my comments (or ask box) and I'll gladly deliver. And, as always, I'm dutifully working on my Postal and TF2 requests. I'm gonna have some posted before the month is over. And if you wanna request Postal or TF2 stuff, you are always more than welcome to! I enjoy getting asks. :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Duke is such a goofy guy to me. This macho guy that' jacked, kills aliens, saves the world, and is "totally straight". Yeah, I'm starting this off by saying that I aggressively refuse to believe that this man is only into women. This man is RADIATING pansexual energy. Originally, I was gonna say he's bi, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he really wouldn't care about gender.

-But that also extends to, he does not understand these things. The type of person to be like, "What's a nonbinary?" and even when you explain it to him, he still doesn't really get it but goes along with it. (This might also just be me craving himbo Duke) He's the hero we need in these bleak times, frfr

-He's such an interesting guy. Like Dude, Duke has a very extensive knowledge on weapons, even alien weaponry, and is very adaptable when switching weapons out. Even though this man is a himbo to me, he's way more smarter than what you'd expect. Having military knowledge and even knowing about differing types of aliens (and how to kill them obviously). Sometimes it's scary with how much he knows about these things

-Autism be damned, my boy knows how to work a grill. It's a shocker that this man is actually talented in the culinary department. It's impressive. Duke can make even the nastiest of things edible. If you have food allergies or sensitivities, it'll take a bit for him but he'll learns to cater to your dietary needs. He's very big on spicy and savory foods. Not really a sweets person. Tending to avoid sweets and only having them as a rare treat (he's got a physique to hold up here). He's not someone who's gonna tell you what foods you need to eat but will encourage you to stay on a more healthier diet. He's very health conscious

-Very big on working out and staying in shape. He would like it of you joined in with him on it but is understandable if you are unable to. I can also see him just flat out using you as a weight. Doesn't matter what your size is, you WILL be picked up by him.

-His love language is definitely physical touch and gift giving. Man is loaded with cash and won't hesitate to spoil you. Taking you out on lavish dates and getting you anything that little heart of yours desires. He also loves having you cuddled up in his side. Duke's a big guy, if you ask, he will carry you around. And since he's very into physical affection, expect some PDA from this guy as well. He'll usually have an arm wrapped around your waist and won't hesitate to give you a big ol' smooch or even a hug.

-Again, Duke is a goofy guy, he's always finding ways to tease you or to get you to laugh. He's a good guy with a good heart. He wants what's best for you and can be rather overprotective at times. He doesn't like people trying to hit on his partner. He know he has nothing to worry about, just finds it annoying that someone thinks they can take you away from him. Good luck trying to keep him from kicking some ass though. He can be hard to convince to turn the other cheek and ignore the offender

[seahagart]

Okay okay okay!!!

Drífa asks!!!

What did she think about Auntie Ethel?

Did she save the Zhenterim traders and help deliver the package?

How did she recruite Karlach and how did she difuse the situation between Wyll and Karlach?!?

Does she prefer hot foods or warm foods?

How much does she weigh???

Can other people draw Drífa?!? And post it with credit of course!!

Fave animal?!?

Biggest fear??

What does her dream visitor look like?!?!

Can we draw her interacting with other Tavs?!?!

Does she have any missing teeth??

What companion does she get on with the least?

Whats her opinions on marriage??

And finally and personally for me most importantly: if she was an animal, which would it be and why?

Thank you~♡

Oh my goodness! Thank you!!!

What did she think about Auntie Ethel?

I think she is a bit superstitious, doesn't trust her, but also is of the mindset that 'you made a deal with a hag, what did you expect?'. She is distrustful for things that are 'too good to be true'. She likes elderly women, so she probably liked her until it was put together she's a hag and then was weary.

Did she save the Zhenterim traders and help deliver the package?

She probably saved them, and then that was about the amount of interest she has, money doesn't really do it for her. She probably doesn't even remember that.

How did she recruite Karlach and how did she difuse the situation between Wyll and Karlach?!?

She saw a big lady on fire and was like 'wow... that is so crazy... ok anyway-' then once talking to her, probably likes her and notices her strength. Drífa was like 'Karlach, you only one that not small or fragile like others...' and recruited her. Then to diffuse the situation is like 'idk karlach seem pretty cool lady, seems like she's right' Drifa likes Karlach

Does she prefer hot foods or warm foods?

I doubt she could handle anything particularly spicy, but she likes warm meals.

How much does she weigh???

Probably like 500+ lbs, she's 8ft tall

Can other people draw Drífa?!? And post it with credit of course!!

Absolutely! I would be honored and want to see it!!!

Fave animal?!?

Bears. I think she relates to bears, especially polar bears, and sees herself as one. Solitary, only coming into contact with other in times of conflict or to mate. She believes herself destined to be alone, secluded, isolated, it is her purpose... not that she doesn't feel alone. She raises her 'cub' alone like bears do. I think she probably has a kinship while a female bear in the area who she used to want to kill but eventually it's more of a 'that bitch over there' with more respect. 'That bitch over there' eats the animals out of her traps, and takes her food, so she gets kinda heated and curses them out a lot.

I think she also like foxes and enjoys watching them, and birds, listening to their songs.

Biggest fear??

Losing her kid, which already happened. Her biggest fear was not being able to provide/keep her child alive, and then losing them to the wild, which happened (dw he comes back!) so after she experiences that, there really isn't anything she's really afraid afraid of. General fear is just being alone, never leaving the temple and eventually she won't be able to take care of herself. She is fully like 'ya when i get too old I'm going to walk into the woods and thats that' which to her is normal. I think

What does her dream visitor look like?!?!

Like a big mountain man, he kinda looks like pan. A big mountain man is the only person she's ever had intimate contact with, so that'd probably what she defaults to. But she does like people in all varieties :)

Can we draw her interacting with other Tavs?!?!

Yes Please!!! i love seeing her with other tavs! They can be friends, you can ship them, idc, I wanna see!

Does she have any missing teeth??

Probably, she's broken her tusks which grew back and are short because she uses them like a wild animal to open things, probably cracked a tooth, gotten a tooth knocked out falling down a mountain.

What companion does she get on with the least?

I think Laezel and even then I think it'd be because everything Laezel says goes over her head. She doesn't really know why she's so mad, or what she's talking about, but eventually I think they would get on well #warrior bond

I think she'd annoy the shit out of Astarion (not on purpose, just the way she is) and she would think he's a lil annoy... eventually though I think he is the first to get her to laugh and by laugh i mean she nods and says 'that was very humor'

Whats her opinions on marriage??

She is aware of marriage, doesn't really have any thoughts on it, doesn't quite get it maybe.... She doesn't have experience with romance, she doesn't really get the idea of loving someone romantically (I think she would feel it, and would do romantic things without thinking about it) I don't think she'd know what it feels like to have love or be loved, the first experience she has is with the people who raised her in the temple, left here there to guard it, never returned, and then her son. She'd need to be taught in the ways of romance, and maybe realize she wants that... I don't think she'd be interested in getting married, but if her partner wants to then sure whatever, she just doesn't have an opinion to it other than being confused why they want to marry her.

And finally and personally for me most importantly: if she was an animal, which would it be and why?

Polar bear hehe :)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THESE QUESTIONS!!!

[kann1bal1st1c-vvh0r3yummyyummy]

HELLO TMA FANDOM

TWS; Raw meat gifs, talking about the flesh and Jared Hopworth, at some point mentions of EDs and recovery from them, spicy and sappy headcanons for Jared simps.

Let’s talk flesh avatars, mostly, The bone turner; Jared!

Before we begin, Quick lil reminder that;

CANON JARED HOPWORTH IS A FINE ASS MOTHERFUCKER- What I mean is Alex stated that canon Jared is quite attractive/good looking?

Just-

ALEX WHY?

2. ALEX. WHY?!

And Lordy lord it pains me to see “ugly” Jared fanart. The fanart is alway pretty no matter what we do, like goddaym but yeah-

Like I can imagine a relationship with him?? And what it’d be like? And I what his relationships are like with other avatars?

For example, for you simps;

Jared in a romantic relationship;

Constant compliments on your physical appearance and asking if he can help with any insecurities? Like;

“You’re gorgeous/Handsome, darling. Your mussels hug your bone structure perfectly, it matches with your soft personality.”

Or

“What’s wrong honey? You want to clear up your acne and scars? Let’s see what we can do to help with that, yeah?”

But not like in a gross why which comes to my second point!

TW for mentioning EDs for this point; Will promote fitness and good health! In a non icky way, as an avatar of the flesh and a gym owner, he wants everyone to have their preferred body types if they have one! And he’s a Gardener and a butcher, so he knows what is good to eat for the body to stay healthy and be ticking properly!

Basically I can see him cooking you both lunch, and it matters what your diet or food goals are because he’ll eat the same as you to not make you feel lonely, and he’ll use everything from his own gardens and butchery?

He could also help you gain weight if that is your goal or help you recover from an ED and show you how to exercise in a healthy way or how to control binge eating better. He will also help you get a feel of some control back into your life!

HE WILL BE YOUR HYPE PERSON IF YOU HAVE NO BODY OR HEALTH GOALS!!

You plus size and happy with it? He’s happy for you and happy with you!

Thin and your happy with it? AGAIN! happy for you and with you!

If you have any body type and your comfortable in your own skin? he’s extremely happy for you and proud of you! And he won’t let anyone tear you down.

IF YOU ARE TRANS HE CAN HELP YOU TRANSITION FULLY WAYYYY FASTER

Like holy shit you’d transition 100x faster and he’s definitely either Trans himself or a big AF ally, idc what y’all say he’s pro-trans rights in every part of his being.

moving on to the sappy and spicy headcanons;

DINNER. DATES. with home cooked food from Jared or joint running days if you like going running! Or dates in his garden looking after the plants!

I see him extremely affectionate Like I said before he would give you a lot of compliments, he would be the best cuddler in the world, sadly, not a lot of kisses because I see him as a man with many teeth, some poking out from within his cheeks, or at the edge of his lips and this will cause him to be scared of hurting you if you were to kiss him

Like size difference? Being manhandled?Well so does he! He’s probably taller than you no matter what you do, thankfully he shift his body to be… smaller in places so he won’t break you literally and metaphorically-

Will use cannibalism as a motif for love sayin stuff like “I could just eat you” “I don’t wanna just be with you I wanna be a part of you” n stuff like that

And that is all for today :)) thank you for coming to my lil reminder TMA fandom…

//Tags:

[luffythinker]

What do you think Shigaraki's favorite things are? Like I know he says he hates everything but what kinds of foods and things do you think he likes?

I think he likes Gamer food and all that but I want a deeper dive then that. Like do you think he likes candy? Sour or sweet? What's his favorite soda? I know he drinks it straight from one of those big bottles and can never finish it. XD do you think he likes greasy food? Or does it hurt his stomach? What foods just dont agree with him? What he allergic to? Peanuts cause that's so basic but also a common food that everyone is probably surprised he cant eat and now that he mentioned it they never can remember him eatting whatever it is.

I think Shig is a briefs wearer, nothing else no undershirt but Dabu wears undershirts and so does Twice. Unfortunately Himiko wasn't raided correct enough to feel comfortable wearing stuff like that but she likes the look of pretty bras and panties but cant bring herself to wear them, she just wears a sports bra and boxers she wishes she could wear them tho.

Dabi and Twice are the only ones who'll sit around shirtless, moreso Dabi then Twice, Dabi sags, Shigaraki's trans ass admires their gender so hard, at first couldnt bring himself to be shirtless around them but when he got comfortable on a bit day he just fuck it, took his shirt off.

Whether or not he had top surgery at the time meant nothing cause the league accepts him for who he is but I would like to say he has had it.

Himiko thinks Shigs top scars are cool

I think Dabi would be that meme where a person is like "would you date a trans women" and the other person is like "is she thick?" And the first person is like "but she was a man before." And they are like "that doesn't matter shes a women now, is she thick?" Have you seen that one before? Dabi is very bisexual he does not care his priorities are the only thing that's straight

I wanna get to know these people on a personal (spiritual) level

I think you already did the deep dive you were looking for kjdfjkdfjkdf better than i ever could tbh

I can't really think of his favorite things like this off the top of my head, but going of what you pointed here, let's try to think something. So about food first: thinking a favorite food for him is hard because of his upbringing and then poverty, but i like to think he would like sweet things (not extremely sweet, but yk), so maybe a cake? something that still is a good memory from his childhood. He likes candy, especially strawberry flavored ones, but that sounds lame so he lies and says he prefers sour stuff. I would just go with cola for him, cause yk he's a gamer and lowkey unhealthy, so a lot of ramen and cola when he pulls all night to play LOL. Not all greasy food, but mostly fries, he loves those, he would eat a bucket everyday if he could. For some reason my first thought for foods he doesn't like was seafood but he's japanese so that would limit his choices a lotkjkjdf but maybe he doesn't like extremely spicy stuff, it upsets his stomach. As for allergies, I'm gonna project here and say he has a corn allergy (idk how common corn is in japan, but where i live it's really everyday food so i have a lot of trouble with this).

And for the rest, i really don't have many additional thoughts on it, i can totally see the things you said here, especially with being shirtless around the league, i think he would be less shy bc of breast/chest and more bc he thinks he doesn't have a good fit body, but well dabi is half burned so he assumes nobody really cares about this

[mintys-musings]

ACTUALLY IT'S PREVIOUS ANON WAIT. What do you think their first time was like

waaaaaaaaugh ;u; it makes me so happy knowing people like my himeniki stuff ~ I’m very normal about them.

In fact— I’m so normal that when I was writing my response, I realized I was getting too specific for it to be a ramble, but anything less didn’t feel right. So... I ended up just writing a really long one shot... ^^;;; (sowwy nsfw week also hit me so uhh this got pushed aside a lil) Just to be clear— I do think in terms of Niki ships, if HiMERU is involved, he would be Niki’s first. Yes this includes HiMERinNiki. If he isn’t involved and it’s a monogamous ship, it’s whoever Niki is shipped with.

I’m very sorry. I had too many thoughts for it to be contained to a casual ramble. nonnie feel free to ask me for anything else I prommy i will properly respond and it wont take 200 years.

Anyway :)

Hold Me Tight, Love (or that time HiMERU did what "HiMERU" actually wanted for once)

Summary: HiMERU just wanted some fresh air. Niki wanted to keep him company

Tags: inexperienced!Niki, blowjobs, there is penetration, talk of HiMERU’s eating habits (just to be safe- also its not in depth), barely lightly proofread but mostly pure instinct on my end, hand holding

Word Count: 4000 (if you just wanna read the smut part skip to where theres a ~~~)

NSFW under cut~

Whenever his unit finished a performance in the Bee Hive, HiMERU couldn’t help but think that the club lived up to its name as he watched the swaths of people that packed the venue.

Having a regular venue to perform at brought comfort to all of the Bees— Whether any of them wanted to admit it or not. Plus, all that rapport they’ve built up so far has granted the idols some special privileges other places could not. One of those being a little room to themselves on the second floor overlooking the first. No one could see in through the glass from the bottom, but they could see out. A perfect hideaway.

Another?

“Kyahaha! Job well done, Bees! Let’s eat!”

Rinne’s loud proclamation was accompanied by him flicking a shot glass of soju into a mug of beer.

Food and drinks (non-alcoholic and alcoholic alike) covered the table in front of the idols. Yes. The unit was not only well compensated for their performances, but also well fed.

Once the green light was put up, mostly everyone dug in. Niki was already chewing on the club’s offerings of yakitori and fried gyoza like he hadn’t snuck granola bars on stage to eat between sets. Kohaku was trying to get his plate away from Rinne, who stacked spicy chicken wings on it so he “doesn’t get them mixed up with the normal ones.”

The only one not as ravenous or lively was, of course, HiMERU. The blue-haired man just sat there, sipping on a can of cola. He had already had his fair share of food this afternoon when Niki had invited him to try out some new dishes he had come up with. Despite HiMERU’s plans to only sample one small sliver of food, he had ended up eating a full course meal without realizing. Quite the problem for someone like HiMERU who tended to follow a meal plan. As a way to balance his sudden deviation, he held back on dinner for tonight.

It can’t be helped, I suppose. Shiina’s cooking is hard to pass up.

His golden eyes shifted to the chef in question. Niki was downing an unreasonable amount of gyoza, at the moment, eyes glued to the oldest and youngest member of the unit bickering away over whether peppercorns were spicy. For once, Niki wasn’t the one going toe to toe with Rinne about a food related matter. It was almost comical, really.

As everyone was distracted, HiMERU took this opportunity to get some much needed fresh air. The sounds of music were clear in that small hideaway for only a brief moment as he snuck out of the door. It didn’t benefit HiMERU to stick around the entire time, no. But he would only be a few minutes. He had been around the others all day and in this building for a non-insignificant amount of time just preparing for the live. He needed air. He needed some peace.

The crisp, night air hit his face as soon as he opened the side door to the Bee Hive. He closed the heavy door behind him and leaned against the railing of the few steps that bled into the back alley. It was nice to get some alone time. Something as precious as that was hard to come by for HiMERU— Especially at and around ES where he was bound to run into someone who knew “HiMERU” and would need to act accordingly. He took a few deep breaths and stared at weathered brick wall in front of him.

A few minutes. And he would go back to the others.

Click.

“There you are~!”

HiMERU whipped around as soon as he heard the door open, only to be met with sharp, blue eyes staring back at him.

Niki closed the door behind him as he stepped onto the tiny landing. In his hand was the very plate he was eating from earlier, now with only a few sticks of yakitori.

“You weren’t eating with the rest of us... Was it Rinne-kun? I understand how atmosphere might affect appetite.” Niki stood next to HiMERU, offering up the plate. “... It’s grilled. I’m sure you know that. But the glaze itself is pretty light so it won’t sit in your stomach uncomfortably when you sleep.”

Whenever someone stared at HiMERU so expectantly, it was hard for him to really push them away. And in the time he has gotten to know Niki, HiMERU has become rather weak for the chef in particular.

With a soft smile and a sigh, he took one of the skewers from the plate. “Thank you, Shiina,” he said, “HiMERU just needed some fresh air.”

“Ah~ What a relief. I was worried, y’know? We just finished a live so our body needs some energy. Even if it’s kinda late. You still use up calories in your sleep, after all~”

Niki smiled up at HiMERU. To HiMERU’s surprise, Niki didn’t look like he was just going to hand over the plate and leave.

HiMERU tilted his head at the chef. “HiMERU is aware of that. You should head inside, though. It’s cold out.”

“Eh? But I came here to share food with you.” It was as simple as that to Niki. He leaned up against the railing as well, balancing the plate precariously on the metal pole.

So much for HiMERU’s alone time. But it was fine. Niki made for good company.

Swept up in light chatter, the unit mates ate the remaining sticks of grilled chicken. Well— Niki ate most of it. HiMERU still got at least two down before Niki’s own instincts took over. HiMERU watched Niki go on about a new brine he wanted to test on some leftover meat in the cafeteria, his eyes wandering across his face with a mild curiosity. He studies his features as he spoke, drifting to Niki’s more cat-like eyes and down to his lips that were stained from the glaze. He even had a stray bit of meat left on the corner of his lips.

Most of the culinary jargon went over HiMERU’s head, if he was honest, but it was endearing to see Niki so passionate.

Everything about the chef, really, was endearing to HiMERU. Though in the beginning, he found Niki’s lack of care towards his own duties as an idol rather troublesome, by now HiMERU had gained a new perspective on it. He even respected how he managed to juggle being both a chef and an idol even when one was forced upon him by the man they call a leader. It was an interesting feat. HiMERU wondered if Niki would agree.

And it wasn’t like Niki was bad at being an idol. If anything, HiMERU would call him a near natural if it wasn’t for Niki’s lack of an internal counter when dancing. Niki had practically everything else though. The vocals, the sheer charisma— God, the charisma— Niki’s charm took HiMERU by surprise every time they hopped on stage togeth—

“HiMERU-kun?”

“Hm?” He blinked slowly, like a cat might. “Yes?”

“You’re staring.”

The softness of Niki’s voice pulled HiMERU to the present. He stood up a bit straighter and cleared his throat. He hadn’t realized he had let his guard down so much he started zoning out.

“Aha...~ Sorry. I must’ve been talking too much—“

“No. Not at all.” HiMERU was quick to shut down any self-deprecating comment Niki was about to make. “... You have something on your face.”

Without waiting for a reply, HiMERU reached over and tilted Niki’s chin upward with his pointer finger, brushing away a stray crumb of food at the corner of his unit mate’s mouth with his thumb. He watched as Niki’s eyes went wide with the gesture, lips parting slightly to let out a single noise.

“Ah.”

Neither dared to move.

There was a mental game of chicken being played where neither party wanted to move. A spell had been cast. The world was still.

It would never be clear on HiMERU’s face that he was thinking of anything in particular. He had always held himself to the standard of needing to act in accordance to what HiMERU would do. Not himself. But in this moment, he was conflicted. His true desires would be counter to anything that would further HiMERU’s career and counter to any other option that would be “safe.”

In a lone alleyway, under the cover of shadows, with the moon and stars as witness, desire triumphed safety.

Niki’s lips were soft.

That was all HiMERU could register as his hand moved from Niki’s chin to cup his jaw. And for a moment, he feared that the chef did not reciprocate. Alarm bells were ringing in his head— I have made a mistake. And, out of panic, he pulled away just as he felt equal pressure on his lips.

“HiMERU apologi—“

His words were stifled quick. He was backed up against the railing by the force of Niki leaning in for another kiss. Their teeth nearly clashed as HiMERU got his bearings and actually kissed back.

Inhibitions and doubts pushed to the side, HiMERU turned the tables so now Niki was pressed against the brick wall of the building. Their lips moved in sync with one another. Their hands were all over each other. Their bodies melded together like this was the way it was always meant to be. All the time spent dancing around each other’s feelings, kind conversations in the cafe, brushing hands, longing looks— All of it just heated the idols’ want for one another.

The way Niki’s breath hitched and the little whimper that escaped him as they grew more passionate only served to make blood rush down to HiMERU’s groin. He could feel Niki rut against his thigh slightly, almost rhythmically to the tempo of the muffled song playing inside the Bee Hive.

The Bee Hive...

Right.

Before either of them could get carried away, they pulled apart for air. Both of them were left panting, staring into each other’s eyes with a carnal desire.

“HiMERU thinks we should go somewhere more private.”

His words come out much more desperately than he’d desire.

“Yeah... Yeah...” Niki seemed to be in a daze himself, still unconsciously moving his hips against HiMERU’s body.

After a quick text to the remaining two bees saying that HiMERU felt tired and that Niki decided to escort him back to the dorms, the two set off on a quick hunt for the nearest love hotel.

~~~

The two were back at it in no time.

Clothes were flying off of the both of them— A comical Kisses trailed along each bit of exposed skin. Every beauty mark. Everything. They couldn’t help themselves. Eventually, HiMERU was leaned back against the headboard with Niki in front of him on his knees. Both of them only had their boxers left as a barrier.

HiMERU was once again taken by Niki’s boyish charm, admiring every stray freckle and mole that was once hidden by clothing. He couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at how wide-eyed and flustered Niki was. Though the chef’s hands were resting at the elastic of HiMERU’s boxers, Niki seemed to be hesitating. Or at least in deep thought.

Cupping his cheek, HiMERU made Niki look at him.

“Are you okay?” HiMERU asked.

Niki nodded, his usual smile returning accompanied by a flush of pink to his cheeks. “I’m okay. Just... Nervous. I’ve never... I mean I’ve wanted to— I mean...”

It was rare to see Niki so shy like this. It made him that much more adorable in HiMERU’s eyes.

A kiss. Just to calm the nerves. HiMERU pulled down his own boxers himself. Niki’s face went wildly red. And while normally HiMERU would chastise staring so blatantly... He’d make an exception this time since it made him feel good.

“That’s alright. HiMERU will guide you. Don’t worry.” He did his best to assure his friend— Lover? They didn’t really talk this through. But that would be later. Right now, he coaxed Niki out of his final layer of clothing.

Bare in front of each other, HiMERU held back from folding Niki in half and prepping him hastily with the love hotel’s lube. All this time, HiMERU had been... Suppressing his urges to say the least. It’s been long enough that HiMERU thought he would be immune to such immense horny thoughts. But now it was hitting him like a train. His dick twitched in the cold air of the room as if signaling its own needs.

Niki wasn’t fairing any better, it seemed. He looked painfully hard already, tip gleaming with precum. The man was even drooling slightly like he was looking at his next meal.

Well... Maybe that was because HiMERU was going to end up in his mouth.

Niki was so eager to try, at least. His hand gently wrapped around HiMERU’s base as if to gauge how he’d fit his girth in. Sparkling blue eyes bore into HiMERU with an unspoken request. HiMERU should’ve expected this out of Niki, but he didn’t think the virgin would take initiative like this.

“You...” HiMERU took a deep breath before nodding. “Fine. Just be mindful of your teeth. HiMERU will tell you what to do.”

Beaming, Niki nodded and quickly shimmied down to dick level. Niki’s oral fixation wasn’t anything new, but in this context, HiMERU felt a bead of precum form at his tip.

The moment HiMERU gave Niki a nod, there wasn’t a moment of hesitation. Niki engulfed the tip into his warm, awaiting mouth and lavished it with his tongue. Even with just the tip, Niki’s mouth was rather full.

HiMERU let out a soft groan as he realized that Niki would be rather good at this. He guided Niki’s hand to stroke whatever wasn’t in his mouth, eyes glowing with appreciation as Niki followed his instruction.

“Spit on it,” he said, “And move your head in time with your hand.”

It was a little cute having to tell Niki what to do.

Niki followed, allowing his drool to roll down HiMERU’s shaft. The mix of saliva and pre made it easy for Niki’s hand to pump him at a nice pace. HiMERU’s slender fingers threaded through Niki’s locks in order to guide his head up and down as he liked.

Moans and grunts escaped both parties as each got used to the respective sensations. HiMERU was on cloud nine with how quickly Niki caught on. His mouth felt like heaven. It took all his might to not force Niki’s head down so his dick would slide down the chef’s throat. Though now that the thought was in his head, he’d have to do it if the opportunity presented itself later down the line.

No— Instead, HiMERU watched with his mouth agape as Niki gave head like a champ.

He couldn’t resist bucking his hips lightly into Niki’s inviting mouth every now and again, watching as his partner’s eyes would widen in shock each time but no less took what was given. Niki’s cheeks were puffed out in what the other could only interpret as a pout.

Niki’s eyes peered up at HiMERU’s panting, sweaty form as he opened his mouth and let his lover’s cock pat his tongue a few times. He kissed down the length, leaning to rest his cheek against HiMERU’s thigh. He looked dazed as he leisurely pumped his hand around him.

Hand moving from his long, dark grey hair to his chin, HiMERU smeared the spit along Niki’s lips with his thumb with a smile. “Everything alright, Shiina?” He asked to check in. As much as he wanted his cock stuffed back between his lips, he let Niki take his time.

His lover responded with a hum, kissing his thumb before dragging his tongue along the tip of HiMERU’s cock. Niki’s hips rutted lightly against the bed to satiate himself. “You taste... Nice.”

High praise.

HiMERU’s lips curled into a small smile. He could tell Niki was too shy to actually ask for what he wanted so he took matters into his own hands. “HiMERU hasn’t been very fair, hm? Lay down.”

Niki followed.

His palms slid under Niki’s thighs to push them up to his chest. “Hold them there for—“ HiMERU paused, looking down at his unit mate’s flustered appearance. Fingers digging into his soft skin, he spared a tender kiss to the chef’s lips. “Hold them there for HiMERU. Please.” His voice was strained as he fell into old habits.

Of course, Niki obliged. He held his legs perfectly in place as HiMERU fished the lube out from one of the hotel’s baskets to use.

In HiMERU’s mind, nothing would be quite as hot compared to how Niki looked as he prepared him. As his finger pressed against his hole gently to ease it in, Niki let out the most adorable whimper. A pure melody.

“Ngah~ HiMERU-kun~” Niki whined, blunt nails digging into the backs of his own thighs.

“Just relax, Shiina.” HiMERU muttered, fully concentrated on the task at hand. “It’ll get better in a moment...” He trails off again, pressing the pad of another finger to Niki’s tight hole. The lube felt cool on his fingers, but it was immediately contrasted by the warmth of his lover’s insides. “... HiMERU promises it’ll feel better.”

His free hand moved to attend to Niki’s stiff cock. It was leaking so much precum that HiMERU would’ve thought he came if he wasn’t looking. Either way, it just made stroking him that much easier.

HiMERU took his sweet time preparing his lover. Delving his fingers in and out, HiMERU was given quite the show of Niki writhing against the sheets, biting his lip to keep from making a fool of himself with all the noises he was making. His hole was clenching around HiMERU’s fingers like his life depended on it. Even when HiMERU knew Niki was properly prepared, he still kept going to coax more reactions out of him. The hand moving up and down Niki’s cock was agonizingly slow. He studied each reaction as he ran his fingers over the other’s tip.

Niki was nervous, that much was sure. But the way Niki’s lashes fluttered every now and then as he got more and more used to the feeling of being filled was such a beautiful sight. The blue-haired man was far too entranced by his lover drooling and whining right in the palms of his hands.

It all came to a head when Niki heaved out a breath and grabbed HiMERU’s wrist. “HiMERU-kun, please... I can’t take it. I’m ready. I promise.” A mewling cat simply putty in his hands.

HiMERU blinked a few times, all too lost in how nice Niki was sounding to remember the actual task at hand for a moment.

“Please...”

Niki’s voice was practically strained with want. And who was HiMERU to deny such a kind plea?

With some shifting around, HiMERU was pressed up against Niki’s awaiting hole.

“... You’re sure about this?” HiMERU asked. As much as he wanted nothing more than to bury himself into Niki, both his own hesitancy and his respect for his unit mate made him check once more.

Niki laced his fingers with HiMERU’s. It was such a soft gesture that HiMERU nearly melted on the spot.

“I’m sure, ‘meru,” he said. “I trust you.”

Both of them let out their own soft moans of pleasure as HiMERU pushed in. HiMERU even cursed, hunching over to press his forehead to Niki’s shoulder. “Warm...” He grunted.

He thrust inch by inch in, doing his best to keep it soft and gentle. How long had it been since he fucked someone like this? Someone he cared about, no less. HiMERU could feel a bead of sweat roll down his temple. All the time he’s spent suppressing his urges was kicking him in the ass during what is supposed to be a gentle first time for Niki.

Niki’s lips met HiMERU’s neck to soothe himself as they both rocked in sync. His grip on HiMERU’s hands tightened ever so slightly. The heat from the chef’s body radiated against his own.

The room was alight with soft moans and grunts as the two made love for the first time.

One of HiMERU’s hands let go of Niki’s, much to the chef’s whining.

“’M-Meru!”

Niki’s voice came out in a cute squeak as HiMERU timed his thrusts to each stroke of his cock. The both of them had been holding back so much this whole time. Niki himself was far too embarrassed from how ready he was to come even earlier that he’s been holding it in. His pretty blue eyes glistened with tears from how close he was.

HiMERU knew Niki was close and had been for some time. He could feel how his dick twitched in his hand. “C’mon, Shiina,” he mumbled. He allowed himself to speed up, his hips snapping to Niki’s like it was the last thing he would do. “It’s okay. Go on. Come for me.”

His words and Niki’s climax came before either of them could fully register it. Niki’s shy moans got louder and louder, dizzy and overwhelmed with pleasure. “Mnngh~! HiMERU-kun!” He gasped.

Cum splattered across his abdomen and HiMERU’s fingers, but HiMERU hadn’t stopped moving. His eyes shone with an unabashed lust as he raised his hands to lick up the essence spilled. The sight of which made Niki whine with embarrassment.

Niki’s whines turned to more moans as HiMERU continued to plow into him. Given that Niki was thrown deep into a pit of ecstasy, he had no problems now going as harsh as he wanted. His hand found Niki’s shaft once more, playing a nice game of overstimulation with the poor chef beneath him who was scrambling to hold onto him.

“Ghh—!” Niki’s cries went unheard.

HiMERU was ruthless, peppering Niki’s face with kisses as he let out all his pent up lust.

“I’m sorry, Shiina. I can’t help it when you look so sexy under me. You’re gripping my cock so tightly... You want me to keep fucking you like this into the night?” His words flowed out of his mouth freely and without shame in short gasps. “You’re so pretty. Wish I could take a picture...”

A part of him was tempted, but that would open a whole new can of possible bad decisions.

Niki didn’t have the mind to respond in anything but the lovely sounds of moans and whimpers. His back arched as he felt HiMERU twitch in his tight hole.

HiMERU pressed his lips roughly onto Niki’s as his thrusts lost their rhythm. He focused purely on driving himself as harshly as he could into his lover.

“Coming...”

With one last pump of his hips, HiMERU pushed himself flush against Niki. His balls emptied themselves of their seed, filling Niki enough to make him shudder.

Once again, the world was still as the two caught their breath. HiMERU didn’t bother pulling out just yet. Instead, he very carefully adjusted both of them to they could lay intertwined in each other’s embrace.

Niki was exhausted, but satisfied as he snuggled up to HiMERU. His eyes were drooping slightly as the high started to settle down.

“That felt nice...” He muttered. “... But now I’m hungry...”

HiMERU let out a breathless chuckle, kissing the crown of Niki’s head. “I’m— Excuse me. HiMERU is pretty sure we can order food here... Let’s rest first for a moment. HiME— I—“ He sighed. The inner conflict was back.

“... I’ll order us something in a minute. How’s that sound?”

“Mhm... Anything’s fine with me. Thank you.” Niki responded in kind, a soft smile on his face as he basked in the afterglow.

The two shared a kiss, tender and sweet.

In these moments... These are for me. Just me. I can let myself have these moments with Shiina.

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

So for once, nothing angsty, but something more fluffy! ANd its based on food!

So I think, if I remember right anyway, canon Alastor does not like fast food or like food similar to it, and that kind of implies to Radio Guard Alastor too. To a degree tho. He very much would rather cook than have take-out, but also he is not complaining if you wanna give him the egg and spring rolls from the Chinese takeout. It is mainly when he super tired though or had an exhausting day and just has no energy to cook for the gang, since I imagine he may have took over the cooking duties of the hotel.

And now for everyone's favorite types of foods and or flavors of stuff! Alastor-Def prefers more homecooked meals, doesn't matter what, if its homecooked, he will probably enjoy. Does however lean more towards spicy stuff. Man loves spicy dishes, be it a painful spice or a comforting one. Def knows all types of Louisiana cooking and is so happy to share them to others.

Charlie-More on the sweeter side of things. Probably has a love of homecooked food too, mainly like breakfast foods I imagine. But probably also likes fruity stuff too (haha get it because she's the daughter of the Morningstar aka the Devil, the one responsible for Adam and Eve eating the Forbidden Fruit //bonked). Probably loves more baked good spices too? So like cinnamon apple stuff would be her favs

Vaggie-Spice and bitter girlie I imagine personally. She will take her coffee black with a spot of cream or milk while chomping on ghost pepper dusted chips like it was nothing. Can also, for some reason, see Vaggie was a soup girlie. Idk, she gives soup girl vibes. Probably loves spicy veggie soups that just warm you up. Ignoring the fact they are in hell and hell is probably already super hot.

Angel Dust-Def ate like junkie munchie foods. Like cheap, really gross and greasy food. Didn't like it, but it hit the spot. If not that, then super healthier, lean foods, since lets be honest, Valentino would his workers on extreme health diets so they would stay "pretty", so the whiplash of foods probs wrecked Angel's stomach. Now, while trying to go sober and in a safer and healthier environment, Angel def enjoys trying to cook Italian food he remembers his pa or ma making. Would like baking more me thinks

Husk-Bar food. Husk is like Angel, he is eating junkie bar food to use the grease to curve his later hangover. Maybe not as much anymore, but its still there. Alastor does get on him, now more so in a place of concern for Husk's well being. Honestly probs better just making drinks but I can see Husk knowing how to work the kitchen too. Def the type to go to if you have the late night munchies since he knows how to make the most killer late night meals

Nifty-Sugar. Just. Pure. Sugar. She is the type to dump marshmallow fluff on a pizza its that insane. She knows how to cook, sure! And she can cook well with others, yes! Alone in the kitchen? Haha no. Your food is gonna somehow end up in lime jello and taste like you liked the bottom of Willy Wonka's boot. Just dont.

Sir Pentious-Probably doesnt really mind anything. As a snack he def has a more meat based diet which took some time to get used too. Probably likes more mild to bitter foods than anything else. Like the Brit he is, he is def drinking tea with everything. Probs also likes egg based dishes since some snakes do eat eggs. Probably mainly bird eggs, like quill or chicken. So egg bois are safe!

Lucifer-Dont think Luci has a pref. For a good long while it was just whatever he could find in the kitchen after staying locked up in his workshop for days on end. So bowls of dry cereal or pb&js to name a few. It took being forced out of his workshop by Alastor (and seeking therapy by Alastor and Charlie's request yeas later) that Lucifer started to eat more. Like his daughter he loves fruity sweets, and as a given likes pancakes. Probs makes killer cinnamon apple pancakes.

Vox-Probs cheating to say Alastor's cooking, but it is Alastor's cooking. Def has more of a spice tolerance than other Voxs hfdsjkf. Outside of that, probably any more homey foods. Or cheaper stuff like ramen since he never wanted to leave his room at V Towers. Def survived on energy drinks that tasted horribly sweet but kept him going at the tower too. You can imagine his utter joy when at the hotel when he just got to eat proper cooked food again, especially Alastor's

-⚔️ anon

Cinnamon apple for Charlie makes so much sense, she'd probably have begged to get that one cereal that claimed to be cinnamon apple but was kinda mid

All of this feels so incredibly canon and accurate, your MIND

[pacthesis]

nostalgic food

i’ll want to reference this in the future

gỏi cuốn (spring roll with chicken, egg, rice noodle, carrot, lettuce, avocado)

peanut sauce is just peanut butter+water, hoisin+sriracha sauce, and a tiny bit of sesame oil (tastes good with almost anything imo)

yellow curry

rice noodle with chicken, potatoes, yams, onions, carrots in a creamy coconut milk and yellow curry paste broth

lemon juice and salt mix with garlic chili for dipping

bò kho (vietnamese beef stew)

kho is a cooking technique where a protein is braised in a mixture of fish sauce, sugar, and water or coconut juice to make a salty/savory result

bread dips in stew beef/potatoes dip in lime juice/salt/pepper mix

cucumber slices to offset the salty

xá xíu (cantonese style bbq pork)

the seasoning mix is made of sugar, powdered soy sauce, onion and garlic powder, and spices

the pink color very much freaked out middle schoolers at lunch

cơm tấm (broken rice, grilled pork, egg, pickled carrots/daikon with scallions/oil garnish and fish sauce)

bún bò huế (thick round rice noodle with beef soup)

more "fun" than phở imo

bún bò broth: spicy salty flavor (lemongrass, spicy chili, fermented shrimp paste, fish sauce)

phở broth: earthy sweet flavor (cinnamon, star anise, onion, ginger, garlic, herbs)

bánh mì (baguette sandwich with chả lụa (pork sausage), xá xíu (cantonese style bbq pork) coriander leaf (cilantro), cucumber, pickled carrots, and pickled daikon combined with pâté and buttery mayonnaise)

salmon instead of nem nướng̣ (viet grilled pork) with bánh hỏi (rice vermicelli)

feat nori (dried edible seaweed)

wrapped with lettuce and dipped in nước mắm (fish sauce)

bánh cuốn (rice noodle rolls filled with ground meat, wood ear mushrooms, onions)

topped with chả lụa (pork sausage) and fried red onions and nước mắm (fermented salted fish sauce)

a fav of grandpa's

pizza man mispronounces it as "bun goo" which makes my mom giggle cause the way he says goo sounds like penis

bánh tét (glutinous rice rolled in a banana leaf into a thick, log-like cylindrical shape, with a mung bean and pork filling)

bánh rán (deep fried sesame ball filled with mung bean)

bánh da lợn "pig skin cake" (tapioca starch, rice flour, mung bean, taro, coconut milk)

bánh bột chiên (fried taro rice cake, a fav of pizza man)

phở (broth: earthy sweet flavor- cinnamon, star anise, onion, ginger, garlic, herbs)

ive called phở mid but while eating this i was like huh this is good actually then my dad says this time he simmered chicken bones for hours like he's supposed to instead of using canned broth

improvised bún thịt nướng (rice noodle bowl with chopped grilled pork, egg roll, veggies, crushed peanuts, fish sauce)

a way to deal with leftover noodles from gỏi cuốn

every time i eat this i think of the time me and pizza man were in new orleans and he asked if i wanted to eat at a viet place and i was surprised cause he's not really into a lot of viet food but anyway i got bún thịt nướng

thịt kho (pork with eggs braised in sticky savory caramel of sugar, fish sauce, coconut water)

i have distinct flashbacks of being in the middle school cafeteria with my thịt kho and kids around me going "what is that??", "ewwww" lol

cháo (rice porridge with chicken or a white meat fish- often served with crunchy cabbage salad)

my dad likes it with youtiao (chinese donuts)

being sick means eating this! but we also eat it a lot when we’re not sick!

when my mom was young she would say yes to any dude that asked her out and order an obscene amount of food/the most expensive things on the menu and never hear from them again but my dad took her to a cháo place cause that was his favorite but apparently for cheapskates

he proposed two weeks later and she said yes

my mom is such a menace i wanna be just like her

[scp-10000]

Dumb headcanon I thought I’d share with yall.  Content warnings for Cannibalisum, Unsanitary, and Non Food Items.

This is what Cleo knows her fellow Hermits taste like.  Don’t ask how they know this.

Cub and Scar: Oh Watchers their flesh is so sweet and tender.  It’s only attached to the bones to allow them to move around.  They freaked out after she swore vengeance on them for defiling her head temple in season 5 cause they genuinely thought she was going to eat them.

Impulse: This man has the texture and taste of a stuffed animal.  Cleo would not recommend eating him.

Etho: The man tastes like rocks and is as sandy and grainy as redstone when bit.  Somehow despite this he thinks Cleo may just eat him.

Beef: Despite his name, he tastes like pork, what most humans taste like.

Bdubs: The man tasted like moss long before he donned the hoodie.  Also, the last time Cleo tried biting him, thorns clawed their gums, and they got punched in the gut, and it hurt because Bdubs is deceptively good at punching people.

Doc: Tell me.  Would you wanna eat rotting, half liquefied lettuce, gunpowder, and decaying goat meat?  That’s what I thought.  Cleo wouldn’t either.  This is also how they knew the vex were lying about eating the nHo(Cub and Scar said Doc tasted like a fresh garden salad when they were asked).

Joe: Joe tastes annoying.

Hypno: Hypno is one of the few Hermits she doesn’t know what they taste like.  Joe says he tastes delicious.  Joe did not commit bit or eat.  Cleo does not want to know how he knows this.

xB: Somehow this man tastes like fish.  He only has some fish in his genetics.

Jevin and Keralis: They somehow taste more annoying than Joe.

Tango: Half of this man’s diet is ghost peppers.  How do you expect him to not be insanely spicy?

Zedaph: Somehow he tastes sideways.  

Pearl: Ś̸̷o̷̸҉̸͝u͏̧p͘.

Xisuma and Welsknight: The one time she tried was when she was sick and mistook them for cans of soup and tried to bite them open.  It did not go well for all involved.

Ren: They don’t know what Ren tastes like, so they started a rumor he tastes like cat food.  He does not know how that rumor started.

Gem: Gem tastes like breakfast foods.  All of them at once.

False: No one has the courage to find out what False tastes like.

Iskall: Like his name suggests, he tastes ice cold.

Stress: Too damned sweet.  Too...damned...sweet.

Grian: You expect me to say grain, but he’s actually salty.

Mumbo: Cleo does not know what he tastes like.  No one’s sure why.

[tittylover26]

Tag Game

Tagged by @starryalpacasstuff . Thx for tagging me! ;)

Favorite color: blue (I'm also a big fan of purple and black).

Last song: You Are My Literature by Park So Eun (this has been one of my favorite songs for like 3 years already).

If you wanna listen to it, here it is:

Last book: Right now I'm reading "Can a darwinian be a christian?" by Michael Ruse and so far I love it. I like quite the controversial books lol.

Last movie: The Help (2011). Man, I can't even begin to explain how good that movie is. I started watching Hidden Figures and went down the rabbit hole of Octavia Spencer's movies, and well, what can I way? I fucking love that woman.

Last TV show: Honestly, I don't even watch tv but I do watch a lot of series and the last series I watched was Bloodhounds (2023) (it was actually a rewatch, so fucking good).

Relationship status: I'm as single as the valence electron of potassium can be without any chemical bond with another element.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Well, I'm not a big fan of sweet things, and I don't eat things with refined sugar in it unless I'm craving something specifically sweet; I also can't handle spicy things like, at all. So, in conclusion, I would say I enjoy savory things more than any other kind of food.

Last thing I googled: A manhwa called Killer Peter.

Looking forward to: Hopefully, I'll be graduating from vet school this december so, please cheer for me! I'll try to do my best.

Tagging: @lost-in-chaos

[hollow-vvamp]

I NEEDDDD my safe foods chat. I already went on abt this but like...imma make a grocery list so that I can save some money for my foods [also could b inspo ig?? idk man if you wanna eat like I do when I can afford this stuff go ahead]

- tuna packets ☆ 70c

- mini cucumbers ☆ 10c at most

- green grapes ☆ 86c per 25

- gala apples ☆ 114c for 1 large

- lettuce ☆ 10c per chopped cup

- eggs ☆ 70c per egg

- blueberries ☆ 41c per half cup

- protein drinks ☆ 190c - 230 depending on brand n type

- apple cider / hot cocoa packets ☆ 80c - 160c depending on which one

- sf soda ☆ 0c

- tea ☆ 0c

- sf sweetener ☆ 0c

- ramen ☆ 370c

- peppers [not spicy] ☆ 17c per two peppers sliced

that's all I have so far for rlly safe foods :3 I wish I had a good amt of money so I can afford my safe foods all the time and solely live off of them :p