#also like not them subtly saying that since she wasn’t physically abused she had a good home life

[valewritessss]

I’ve seen someone say that Annabeth had a good home situation but she was too prideful so she pretended it was really bad and I was like lmfao y’all are reaching so bad it shows they have no reason to hate her so they’re making up their own reasons

[xoxo-teddybear]

Oh, The Lies You Tell - Bakugou Katsuki- pt.3

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, trauma, abuse, betrayal, fluff, slice of life, smut, cursing, manipulation, possible spoilers, physical harm, 18+

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Ep. Warnings: cursing

Summary: Y/N is denying her feelings. ALL of them.

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

When you closed the door, you had to catch your breath. You leaned against it with your eyes closed as a slight smile grew on your face. A little blush dusting over your cheeks, causing rising heat to roam your skin. You opened your eyes and saw Rumor looking at you. He had his head tilted with judgmental eyes.

“What?” You asked. He only gave you a snort with eyes that said “don’t act like you don’t know.”

“I’m not falling for blondie. It’s just fun to flirt.” You said, trying to reassure both Rumor and yourself. Rumor let out wails like he was talking to you saying “mhmmm.”

“What? It’s true! We have a mission Rumor.” You said as you layed down under the covers.

Flashback

As Kurogiri busted through the door to the LOV’s hideout, he shouted.

“SHIGARAKI!” He yelled out of breath.

The villains looked around at the man. Why was he out of breath? Where had he been? Why wasn’t Y/N with him?

“What’s going on?” Dabi asked the steam of purple.

“I-it’s Y/N! Earser-Head took her!” Kurogiri said.

“WHAT?!” In came shigaraki, now yelling in shock. “How dare you lose that girl?! Do you understand how valuable AND dangerous she is? She is with the heroes now, they’ll tell her everything about us, and she’ll grow an opinion. She’ll kill all of us.” He seethed out as he held Kurogiri by his neck collar.

“I understand! But- but look!” Kurogiri said holding up your earring you threw at him. “She left behind this!” Once seeing the piece of jewelry, Skigaraki calmed down. He took the gem in his hands.

“Smart girl...this is a communication device. I gave these to Y/N if trouble were to ever happen so she could contact us without the call being tracked,” he explained. “Y/N! ..Titania!...Y/N? Can you hear me?!” He screamed into the earring.

“.........Loud and clear Shigaraki,” Y/N’s voice was heard from the gem and everyone looked alive. They all settled and began to ask her questions.

“Y/N, what the hell is going on?” Dabi asked.

“Eraser-Head took me. He brought me to UA and they’re keeping me in an interrogation room. He said he sees good in me and wants me to enroll here.” You explained.

“UA...” Shigaraki echoed.

“That’s right. And I have a plan. We’ll take em down from the inside.” You offered your idea.

“Explain.” Shigaraki said.

“You have me. I’ll gather intel. All the places where UA will be traveling to, all their plans, all their strengths and weaknesses. I can tell you it all and you guys can come up with a plan on how to attack. My suggestion would be that you should attack them when traveling. Do it subtly. I’ll tell you their future plans and you’ll come up with loopholes. I’ll report their strengths and weaknesses and when you’re ready, we do a full scale attack on the school. Bring as many villains as we can to help and win.” When you were done explaining, the villains shared a look. Except Shigaraki. He was 100% in on this plan.

“I expect a report every day. Tell us whatever happened, whatever you learned or found out. You tell us everything.” Shigaraki said.

“Understood.” You replied.

“Good.”

Present Time

You sighed at the memory. Rumor noticed your displeasure and came up beside you on the bed. He cuddled into you side to help you calm down. You pet his head as you turned to lean into his soft fur.

“...we can’t get distracted. No boys, no luxury, no hero life, no UA life. We’re villains...that’s all we’re good enough to be.” You said to remind yourself. As you shut your eyes and drifted off to dreamland, Rumor looked at you and sighed.

‘She deserves UA though. She deserves a happy life. She’s more than good enough.’ Rumor thought.

Bakugou’s POV

As Bakugou walked off to his room with a satisfied smile on his face, he thought back to what happened. It made him stop in his tracks in shock.

‘What the fuck is happening to me?’ Bakugou thought. Since when does he act all flirty? And when did he start blushing? And why does his heart speed up at the thought of Y/N? ‘Maybe I just need to sleep in off.’

As Bakugou walked into his room, he saw Kaminari and Kirishima mocking him.

“Mwuah, Mwuah, Mwuah, oh Y/N, I love you so much,” Kirishima said pretending to hold a girl in his arms and kissed the air.

“Oh, I love Princess so much! Mwuah!” Kaminari mimicked. Bakugou only growled at the two and blushed in embarrassment.

“What the hell are you two idiots doing here?” Bakugou asked.

“Well we came to hang but then we got hungry while waiting for you and searched for snacks but we saw you and Y/N going in for a kiss~” Kaminari said wiggling his brows.

“And then we saw Mr. Aizawa hit you with adoption papers and then kicked you guys out the kitchen. We also saw you run to Y/N and peck her cheek~” Kirishima added on. “You crushing on the new girl?”

“Am not.” Bakugou replied.

“Are too.” Kaminari said. “Makes sense. She’s crazy hot, super powerful, and full of personality. She’s pretty freaking awesome.”

“Yeah c’mon man, we’re friends and we won’t tell if you do like her.” Kirishima reassured.

“I don’t like her, shitty hair.” Bakugou stated. “I mean, yeah. She’s beautiful, and she’s funny, and she’s really strong. And she’s also really cool and really chill and my heart beats like crazy and my mind goes dumb when I’m around her. But that doesn’t mean I like her!”

The two boys just looked at the blonde with a brow raised.

“Seriously?” They both said.

“GAH!” Bakugou screamed as he flopped face forward on his bed coming to the realization. “Fine! Maybe I do like her BETTER THAN OTHER PEOPLE, but that doesn’t mean I LIKE like her. Besides, shes only been here for 2 days, how the hell am I supposed to fall for someone that quick?”

“Love at first sight is a real thing if you believe it is.” Kaminari said. Bakugou thought about it. Maybe it was. But there was no way. She didn’t know anything about him and yeah she opened up to Bakugou about her past but that doesn’t mean she’s in love with him.

“......look. I don’t know exactly how I feel about Y/N. All I know is, I get excited whenever she’s around or when I know I’ll get to see her. I can’t be sure of my feelings....yet.” Bakugou admitted.

“Well you should figure it out, man. She could be good for you. I mean, shes only been here for a few days but just in those two days she’s made you a more open person. You woulda never admitted all this to us before.” Kirishima said. At that realization that he said too much, Bakugou got up and pushed his friends out his room door before he could spill any more.

“Okay! Great! Gotta sleep! Goodnight! See you later idiots.” Bakugou said and slammed the door. He flopped back on his bed, going back to thinking about Y/N. And there goes his heart again with that fast beating.

——————————————————————————

Y/N woke up, got ready, and was about to walk out the door. Her and Rumor were getting ready for some training so Y/N put on some comfortable work out clothes. As the two were about to walk out the doors with their bags, they ran into the Bakusquad boys in the common room.

“Hey Y/N!” Kaminari greeted you.

“Oh hey guys!” You said walking towards the group. Bakugou had his eyes fixated on you. Do you always look this good in the mornings?

“Where you headed?” Sero asked.

“Rumor and I were gonna get some training in at our special spot in the forest. Didn’t really get to do much yesterday so I’m making up for it today.” You explained.

“Hey, training sounds pretty good,” Kirishima said and the guys all agreed. “Mind if we joined you?”

“Uhh..I don’t know guys. The place I train is kinda far and I usually have to ride on Rumor to get there.” You said.

“Ohh c’mon, please! We’re down for the ride and we’d love to see you in action.” Kaminari begged. Bakugou decided to influence your decision.

“C’mon princess,” he said while looking you right in your eyes. The group all smiled and raised a brow at Bakugou’s behaviour, but you two didn’t notice, for you were too lost in each other’s presence that you didn’t even realize what you said.

“Sure...” you said still dazed with Bakugou, but once you heard yourself you snapped out of it. “Wait- Wha-“ you were interrupted by the cheers of rowdy boys as they all left to get their stuff ready. Bakugou was the last to leave.

“Thanks for letting us join, princess.” He said pecking your cheek and walking off. Curse those damn ruby eyes! You smacked your face the tiniest bit to fight off the rising blush as Rumor just gave you a look of sass.

“Oh hush, now you gotta carry 5 people. Hope you’re happy.” You said sitting next to Rumor on the couch. About 10 minutes went by before all the boys came back and were set to go. You guys walked to the front entrance of the dormitory and paused.

“Okay. A few rules before we get there. The spot is a special place to me. It’s where I can explore myself and my abilities a lot more and it’s the place where I found Rumor. It’s a treasure and a memory to me so don’t you dare destroy it too much!” You said with a stern voice and serious look. The boys nodded their heads in understanding.

“Good. Rumor, flying bison form.” As rumor shifted into a giant creature, you went to the side of the building where you had his saddle waiting. You used your air bending to place it onto Rumor’s back as you attached a rope to his horns for steering. You told the boys to get on, but they seemed a little hesitant.

“What? You’ll be fine, just get on.” As the boys trusted your words, they climbed onto Rumor and settled in the saddle. On your mark, Rumor took off into the skies as the boys screamed in fear in the back.

“We’re gonna die!!!” Kaminari cried as he held onto Sero. The boys freaked out until you reassured them.

“You’re not gonna die you idiots! Jeez, it’s too early for all this.” You said as you continued to handle Rumor’s reigns. After about 10 minutes of flying, you trusted that Rumor knew where to go from there and went to the back of the saddle where the boys were.

“First time flying on a bison?” You jokingly asked.

“More like first time ever doing any of this.” Kirishima said. “Man, do you get to travel like this all the time?”

“Pretty much. Theres so many forms that Rumor has, so it’s always fun seeing the reactions I get whenever they see me riding a dragon or something.” You laughed out, causing Bakugou to blush at the beautiful sound.

“Man, I could get used to this.” Sero said as he let the breeze flow through his hair. You giggled before speaking.

“Yeah, well sorry to disappoint, but rides over. We’re here.” You said looking over the saddle and seeing the forest spot. The boys finally saw the beautiful trees, the crystal waters, the beautiful plants and giant plateaus of boulders and rocks creating something straight outta Lion King. You landed in a clearing and hopped off Rumor, encouraging the boys to do the same. Rumor transformed back into his usual form and walked towards you all.

“So! Y/N, what do you usually do when you get here?” Kirishima asked.

“I usually stand on the spiritual clearing over there,” you said and pointed to an opening where there was a circular stone platform in the ground engraved with some ancient characters.

“Spiritual clearing? It looks like pavement.” Kaminari said, earning a wack to the head from Bakugou and Sero. You just sighed and sat crossed on the area and called upon your mentor.

“Avatar Korra....” you called out, and then, it appeared as if a ghost came out of you and right infront of you stood your mentor. The boys shook in fear.

“A ghost?” Sero shakenly asked.

“No, my mentor. She’s a spirit...a good one.” You said as you stood and bowed to Korra.

“So what are we working on today, Y/N?” Korra asked you.

“Well, I want to perfect my water bending. Specifically, my healing. I used my dim mak on a friend in school and I couldn’t heal his arm from the paralysis so I want to work on fixing that.” You said. Korra nodded and took you to the watering hole.

“You boys can get on with your training,” you said to the guys as they appeared to be standing still.

“Actually, we just came to watch you and see what kinda stuff you can do,” Kaminari confessed. You laughed and shook your head as you used your hand to call the boys over so they could watch.

“Well then how about we get a volunteer?” Korra said as she looked to the 4 future pros. Bakugou stood up and joined you in the watering hole.

“You have no idea what you’ve just done,” you laughed out as Bakugou stood there confused. “Sorry about this,”

“What do you me-“ you cut him off by jabbing his pressure points and having him fall paralyzed into the shallow water. As he layed there with his upper side of his body out of the water he spoke.

“Coulda gave me a warning, ya know.” He said in a grouchy demeanor. You just looked towards your mentor for guidance.

“Let’s begin..” Korra said. As you trained the boys watched in excitement and awe. They’ve never seen anyone with a “quirk” like yours and never saw someone with your fighting style. Once you finished up with Bakugou, Korra walked you through the other elements. The boys saw your many skills and were thoroughly impressed. As the day went on, you finally settled for the amount of time spent.

“Thank you for the help today Korra,” you said and bowed to her in gratitude.

“It’s my job to help you, Y/N. Please don’t thank me. Besides, I enjoy working with you. I know you’ll always choose the best path to go on and I’m excited to see where you’ll end up.” Korra said with much meaning to her last few sentences. You understood what she meant. She disappeared into thin air as she returned to the spirit world. You sighed as you felt relief she was no longer there pressuring you into becoming the hero you can’t be. You turned to the boys.

“So...you guys ready to head back?”

——————————————————————————

On the ride home, the boys all hung around the back while you sat near Rumor’s horns in silence. Your mind wandering to your choices. Light or dark. You’ve always been in the dark though. It was the life you’ve always known. Granted, you didn’t like it, but you’ve already done so many horrible things, there was no way being good was even an option right now

‘Shigaraki..Korra..Kurogiri..Aizawa..Dabi.....Bakugou’ you thought of all the impactful people in your life..but Bakugou? You barely knew him, but you knew in your heart, he definitely meant something to you. To snap you outta your thoughts was the man himself. Bakugou had gone to join you up front.

“Hey” he said.

“..hey back.” You replied.

“Soo..Whats up with you?” He asked.

“Umm...not much. Just..seeing my mentor..makes me think about..a lot.” You explained to him as you looked at the sky.

“A lot like...” he pressed you for details.

“Like....sentimental stuff. What kind of person I wanna be, what I wanna do with my life..choosing paths.” You briefly explained. You couldnt let him know too much, no matter how bad your body yearned to tell him the truth.

“Well...I could predict most of that stuff for you.” Bakugou said, relaxing his shoulders.

“What do you mean?” You asked him.

“I see a lot of great things for you, princess. You’re an amazing person already, and when you grow up you’re gonna be an amazing hero too. Kicking evil’s ass and all that.” He explained. But you only felt sorry. He didn’t know you at all. At least, not the real you. This fact only saddened you.

“I wish..” you whispered. You only fell deeper into sadness, and noticing this, Bakugou did the unexpected. He grabbed you and held you in his arms.

“You’re amazing, Y/N. Never forget that.” He said calmly, like he was 100% sure. You released silent tears and let the wind dry them. Along the journey home, the scent of caramel invaded your senses. It soothed you and brought you to a land of happiness. You cuddled into Bakugou a little more as a blush grew on both of your faces. You both agreed on one thing though. This felt so right.

As you landed, the boys in the back headed inside after thanking you for the trip. Rumor changed back and you and Bakugou moved his saddle back to its place beside the building. As you and Bakugou continued to walk, he started up a conversation.

“You know, you’re pretty strong but I could still take you down easily, Princess.” He said with a cocky attitude.

“Oh? Is that fact? Cuz I’d bet You’d get your ass handed to you by moi,” you said.

“Really? How about a little competition?” He wagered.

“I’m listening,” you said.

“We have a little sparring match, if you win you get whatever you want, if I win..i don’t know, maybe..you’ll let me take you out on a date?” He asked hesitantly. This shocked you, but you smirked nonetheless.

“Is this you’re way of trying to ask me out?” You teased.

“Sort of..” he said nervously. This was his first time asking anybody out and his first crush too.

“Well then why don’t we skip the fight and I’ll let you take me out next Saturday? Deal?” You asked.

“That’s perfectly fine by me,” he said excitedly. Bakugou began to ramble on about something else but you got distracted. As you looked over his shoulder, you saw Principle Nezu holding on to some documents and trying to hide them. He seemed alert as he made his way to what appeared to be Mr. aizawa’s room.

“Umm, I’ll talk to you later Baku- Katsuki! I’ve gotta go.” You said as you walked off to find Nezu, leaving Bakugou in confusion as Rumor followed you into the dorms.

Running through the hallways was getting you nowhere. So you asked Rumor to track his scent. Finally catching up to Nezu, you saw him enter Aizawa’s room and you saw the door shut. You pressed your ear to it, trying to make out whatever conversation they were having, but you couldn’t hear anything. You did however hear them walking closer to the door, and so you and Rumor hid around the corner. You saw both Nezu and Aizawa walk out and so you took the opportunity to scope the scene. You walked into the room and saw the files on the desk. As you read through them, you saw it was trip to what seemed to be some sort of battle competition. As you read through the papers, you saw it was exactly that. Hero schools would travel to one designated area and start the race. Along the path you would run into other schools and battle. Winner earns their school 12 grand and the participating students get a week off.

To anyone else, this would seem like a good time, to you, this was an opportunity. You took photos of the papers and ran off with Rumor to your room. In the privacy of your dorm, you sent the photos to the league and contacted them through the earring.

“Hello? Shigaraki? Dabi?” You said into the earring.

“Right here, Titania.” It was Dabi’s voice. “Whatcha need?”

“I’ve got intel you and the league might wanna hear~” you said with a playful voice, however at the same time, you felt uneasy.

“Go on,” he said.

You hesitated before speaking, but went on anyway. “In 3 days, UA will be sending class 1-A and 1-B to this competition where they’ll battle other schools. It’s in a forest area where a race will be held. It’s the perfect place for the league to attack. Come and weaken their forces.”

“Sounds like a plan, little mouse. Good work.” He said into the jewelry.

“I’ll send you my coordinates the day we go. See you soon.” You said and turned off the device. You couldn’t help but feel guilty about this whole thing. Why?

“Hey Y/N? You in there?” Bakugou said from the other side of the door while knocking. Oh yeah, that’s why. Somehow, that loveable blondie made a footprint on you and now you can’t get him off your mind. After what he said about you being so amazing, you couldn’t fight back that fuzzy feeling you got whenever you thought of him or whenever he was around. You got up to answer the door.

“Hey! Katsuki! What are, uh, what are you doing here?” You asked.

“Uhh..I don’t know. Had some free time, thought I’d come hang with you and Rumor.” He said with a shy smile. A smile you’ve learned to love. You looked at the time. 1:44. You figured you could use a break day.

“How about this? Come inside and let me get ready, and we could spend the day together.” You offered. You were under a lot of stress with these conflicted feelings of light and dark and Katsuki felt like a break from it all. He was your little escape haven from the chaos.

“Heh, I thought our date was next Saturday,” he teased as he walked through your door.

“Well, our first official date. This can be more like us hanging out.” You said.

“Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do on a date?” He asked.

“I- oh shut up! You know what I mean!” You said in a flustered manner. Katsuki only laughed at your behavior and called you a little dumbass. You went to your wardrobe and asked for a little help.

“Wanna help me pick out an outfit?” You asked and Bakugou nodded and walked your way. He noticed how your closet pretty much screamed “Instagram baddie” and was impressed. He looked around and finally made his decision.

“The letterman black and white jacket, leave it open to show off the white tube top. Put that on with those light washed skinny jeans and put on these casual black heels.” He said as he dropped them all on you. The way he threw them all messed with your hair and so you huffed the piece covering your face out of your way.

“They’re called Heeled Ankle Boots.” You corrected him.

“Yeah yeah, go get dressed,” he said pushing you towards your bathroom.

“Oh? You sure you don’t want me to get dressed right here?” You teased, causing Bakugou to blush intensely. “I’m kidding.” You said before walking into the room, finally allowing Katsuki to breathe.

When you came out the bathroom, you looked at yourself in the mirror.

“Huh..not bad, Katsuki.” You said, admiring yourself. Bakugou was too busy staring at you, but he finally snapped out of it when he heard you say his name with that sweet voice.

“Erm, heh, yeah. My parents are designers so I guess it’s just a natural thing.” He said.

“Yeah? Maybe I’ll have to try on their clothes and maybe model for them,” you joked.

“You’ve definitely got the looks for it,” Bakugou said biting his lip. He was being so serious. You turned and looked at him with a sincere smile.

“Ummm..you ready to go?” You asked a little nervous.

“Yeah, c’mon.” He said dragging you to the front. Rumor follow you.

“Oh, stop it Rumor. You can hang here for a bit by yourself can’t you? Besides, the dorm is filled with plenty of people for you to spend time with.” You said petting his head, but you knew he wanted to go just to make sure you were okay. “If I need you, I’ll blow the whistle and call for you, okay?” You said to reassure him. He finally allowed you to go with Bakugou.

Katsuki took you to a nice cafe just to hang out. You talked, ate, joked around, and all and all just grew closer. Something about him just made you feel safe. The way he would look at you, give you that charming smile, and that time when he held you in his arms made you feel all warm inside.

“Hey dumbass. You’re staring.” Bakugou said.

“Am not!”

“Are too.”

“Hmph!” You grunted as you used your water bending to take his drink out of his cup and lift it over his head.

“Give it back Y/N,” he said. You messed with him though, and you glided his drink all around him.

“Oh, c’mon! Have a little fun and enjoy the magic show.” You playfully said. You had enough and placed his drink back in his cup. You both laughed and talked a little more before getting up to walk around town.

“Hey, Katsuki look! A festival!” You said as you ran to it leaving Bakugou to chase after you. You both enjoyed the booths and snacked on the street food venues. You played games and won each other prizes. You know, the cliche? As you both walked around some more, you saw something that reminded you of your time on the streets.

“Woah, look at that!” You pointed to a group sitting around a man sitting at a table.

“What is that?” Bakugou asked.

“It’s a quick way to earn money. This guy has 3 shells and a stone. He moves the stone around with the shells and you just have to guess which shell the stone is under. I never played growing up because I had nothing to offer, but now I do and this time I can use my ‘quirk’ to sense where the stone is!” You excitedly said.

“How can your quirk do that?” He questioned you.

“Ummm....” you were looking for an answer until fortunately a man lost the game and screamed out in pity and anger. “Oh look! It’s open! Let’s go!” You said dragging Bakugou to the stand.

“Well, hello there kids! Here to play?” The man asked.

“Yes sir! And I can offer you $20!” You said. A pretty decent deal. The man agreed and put up his own 20 and began to shuffle the shells. Using your earth bending, you felt where the stone was going and when he stopped the shuffling, you pointed to the correct shell.

“Thats some fancy guessing you got there young lady. How about you say we make this more interesting?” He offered.

“More interesting how?” You asked.

“More interesting like you throw in your friend’s fancy chain and I’ll bargain with $100, and thats more interesting.” He explained.

You snatched Bakugou’s chain and spoke. “I’ll do it for $300” you said. The man agreed, foolishly thinking he’d win. As he began to shuffle again, you sensed the stone and at the end of his little show, he attempted to flick the stone into his sleeve and keep it there. To stop this from happening, you used your earth bending to pull the stone from going into his sleeve and kept it under the shell. You made your pick.

“Sorry young Lady but- WHAT?” The man was shock to see the stone placed under one of the shells, more so, the correct shell.

“I won!” You said and grabbed the money and Bakugou’s chain as you both ran off. You laughed as Bakugou only scolded you.

“Y/N! You can’t just scam the guy like that!” He said.

“Oh lighten up Katsuki! Jeez, you always have a stick up your ass?” You joked. “Besides, it’s not like I did anything wrong. I only cheated because he was cheating too. I cheated a cheater,” you said explaining your logic. It kind of made sense to Bakugou so he sighed and went along with it.

“I guess you’re right,” he gave in.

“Of course I am,” you said flashing him the smile he craved to see, “now let’s go! There’s a firework show starting soon and I know the perfect spot!”

You dragged Bakugou to a place a little far from the center of town. When you arrived, you showed him a billboard sign. You guys had already been out for awhile and last time you checked the time in town it was 6:30, now after the walk it was 7:00.

“Ta-da!” You said while giving jazz hands to the tall sign. Bakugou just looked up in confusion.

“What am I looking at?”

“A billboard dummy! It’ll give us a great view of the fireworks! All we have to do is get up there, now c’mon!” You said but Bakugou pulled you back.

“We can’t go up there! It’s illegal,” he said but you only rolled your eyes.

“And do you see how stupid that is? What’s the worst that could happen from us going up there and why would they need to enforce that kinda law anyway?” You said.

“To stop people from vandalizing property.” Bakugou explained to you.

“Well do we look like the type to vandalize?” You said.

“Well no, but-“

“But nothing! We’ll be fine Katsuki! I promise. You’ll enjoy the view.” You pleaded. Bakugou still wasn’t fully convinced so you pressed up against him while hugging his arm. “Pleaseeee Katsuki?” You begged which finally made him give in.

He slightly smiled at you before telling you to hold onto his neck.

“For what?” You asked.

“Just trust me,” and so you did. When you were secure, he blasted you both into the sky and landed on top of the sign. It was dark and a little cold, so you shivered and Bakugou noticed. He held you in his arms to keep you warm and it worked well. A comfortable silence fell upon you two as you just enjoyed each other’s warmth.

“I’m really glad you came to UA.” Bakugou said in a gruff voice. You smiled up at him.

“Oh yeah? Why?” You asked.

“Cuz... I got to meet your dumbass. You’re beautiful, you’re strong...you’re amazing....and I really like you.” He said while looking down at you.

“Heh...I uh, I really like you too.” You said. You both began to lean in and here came that feeling again. No one else in the world but you two. As your lips grazed each other, you both jumped at the sound of the firework’s loud sound. You laughed it off and stared at the pretty colors that illuminated the dark sky. Each one allowing your smile to grow even more. Bakugou, kind of bummed out on having another kiss ruined, admired you and your beauty. He smiled as he saw your pearly whites and he just held you closer as you looked up in awe. This was a good enough night for him.

You ended up using the whistle to call for Rumor to help you guys get back to the dorms quickly. Rumor was just happy to be of service. When you landed, you and Bakugou walked hand in hand through the dorms. As you entered the common room, the Bakusquad set their eyes upon you two.

“Oouuuuu~” they all said noticing the connected hands and bashful faces. Bakugou simply told them to shut up as he dragged you to the floor your dorm rooms were on.

“Thanks for the fun night, Katsuki.” You said to him in your doorway.

“No problem. Kinda wish my kiss didn’t get disrupted for the second time this week but I still had a great night with you, princess.” You laughed at his little complaint. You went up and pecked his cheek, just like he would do to you.

“Goodnight, Cutie” you said and shut your door. Bakugou sighed as he smiled, listening to his heart beat wildly. He walked on to his dorm room to get ready for the night. School was tomorrow and he had a grandpa schedule to follow.

——————————————————————————

Behind the closed door, you sighed in bliss. You felt your heart go crazy at the thought of your little crush. Your crush. Crush. Damnit, that bastard had you wrapped around his finger. Under different circumstances, you wouldn’t have minded, but your with the league of villains. Bakugou is a future pro, you’re a low life villain. There’s no way he would fall for you when he found out the truth. You felt a little hurt at that fact, but you understood. It had to be this way. Awakening you from your thoughts was Dabi’s voice coming from the communication device.

“I’m here, Dabi. What is it?” You questioned.

“Don’t think I didnt see your little scene with whats his face on the billboard. Are you falling for UA’s resident hot head?” Dabi asked.

“What were you doing out in the forest?” You asked in shock. The league was not supposed to find out about this little..whatever you had with Bakugou!

“I was out on a walk, now answer my question. Do you like the little hero wannabe?” Dabi pressed on. You had to think. Did you like Bakugou? You knew you felt something towards him but you were still trying to figure out exactly what it was. If it was love you would openly admit it, but you were just in like with the guy, you weren’t sure of your feelings yet or even if you would dare pursue them.

“....n-no.” You replied. You felt in your heart and mind that you just lied to yourself. It hurt you a little too much by just saying that.

“Good. Because you’re a villain. Bakugou Katsuki has a whole future ahead of him. He wouldn’t want a villain scum like you hanging around.” He said and ended the call.

You let silent tears fall down your face as you placed the earring down and fell onto your bed. You were just villain scum. Underserving of anything good. You weren’t anything good at all. Your path was darkness. You were sure! But Bakugou Katsuki made you second guess yourself on that choice. Could you be good? Could you follow him to the light?

Unsure, you got ready for bed and decided to sleep this off. Once this whole operation was over, Bakugou would be out of your life and you wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore. But could you really stand to be around without him with you? You’ve only known the guy for a few days, and you’re this attached to him. You sighed to yourself as Rumor fell asleep.

“This is gonna be hell.”

[shinsoussimp]

can i request keigo with a fem s/o who's parents are emotionally and mentally abusive? 🥺

a/n: of course anon! i also want to say that you’re not alone. i’m going through a similar situation and i know it’s hard. but you’ll get though this. just because it’s not physical doesn’t mean it’s not valid. if you are able, reach out to get help because nobody deserves to be treated this way. just know that your chosen family will be there for you. if you haven’t found your chosen family yet, you will. i promise. 

a/n: for context, hawks is a little bit younger in this. like college aged before he becomes a pro. this ended up being the longest thing i’ve written on this blog but i hope you still like it :D

TW: mental/emotional abuse, graphic language 

Hawks when his girlfriend’s parents are emotionally abusive

the times you spent with your boyfriend keigo were always the most peaceful. he made you feel safe and loved. which is not something you felt often. and the times where you had to go back to your own house were the worst, ever. that meant that you were going back to people that constantly beat you down. no matter how hard you tried you were never enough for them. but you were too nervous to tell keigo about everything was happening. even though at some times it was pretty obvious.

“are you sure i can’t stay over tonight?” you ask softly not so subtly trying to escape your own house for the night.

“im sorry baby girl but i have to wake so early tomorrow for training.. how about this, after class i’ll swing by your place and we can go get ice cream.” you smile and nod trying to hide the nervousness at the thought of going back home. of course ice cream with keigo is amazing, but you just really needed to be with him tonight. but because you didn’t want to inconvenience him you dropped it. after a couple more hours you were on your way back home. once you walk in the door you see your parents sitting on the couch in the living room, waiting for you. great.

“well look who decided to show up.” your dad looks up from his book narrowing his eyes at you. “care to explain what you were doing out so late?”

“i was back before curfew.” you mumble checking the time again just to make sure, you definitely were back on time.

“since when was it okay to talk to your father like that?” you mom snaps standing up and crossing her arms in frustration.

“talk to him like what?” you ask softly careful that there was no attitude in your tone. but no matter how hard you tried they always heard some.

“we’ve had enough of your behavior you ungrateful little bitch!” you try to not let their words affect you as you put your keys in the bowl by the door and walk over to the kitchen to get a drink of water.

“i bet she was out whoring around.” your dad scoffs. okay that stung. but you refuse to let them see how they were affecting you. you didn’t want to give them that satisfaction. 

“if i knew our daughter would turn out like this i would have never had her..” your mom sits back down with a huff. you gulp down your water and rush to your room. right as the door shuts, a choked sob escapes. you lay down on your bed as tears rush down your cheeks, blurring your vision. looking down at your phone you pull up keigo’s contact.

“i have to wake up so early tomorrow for training..” his voice rings in your head as you turn your phone back off. you can’t text him now, he’s probably asleep. and you wouldn’t want to be the reason that he’s tired in the morning. so you hug your pillow and cry until you feel your eyelids get heavy. you don’t even bother to change into pajamas before passing out.

the next morning your alarm blares forcing you to wake up. you groan and stretch your arms above your head. but right then you realize that your morning of peace you usually had would be gone. your parents had the day off work. you quickly get ready for class and walk over to the kitchen to look for something to eat.

“you really have the audacity to show your face after storming off like such a brat last night?” 

“i’m sorry.” you mumble as you grab a granola bar, shoving it in your bag. you mom scoffs and walks back into her room. great way to start your day. but luckily that’s the only comment made before you grab your keys and head off to class.

you walk into the lecture hall surrounded by half asleep students complaining about having to be there. but you always find yourself thankful that you were there and not at home. but today your mind drifts back to the awful words you have heard recently making it hard for you to focus. before you know it the bell rings. now it’s time for the guessing game. your parents have the day off, but will you be lucky enough that they decided to go out and do something? or will you see their cars when you pull into the driveway. sadly it was the latter. you pull your keys out of the ignition and trudge up to the front door. once you open it you hear screaming. great, they were fighting with each other today too. the only thing keeping you sane at the moment was that you got to go out with keigo today. after changing into better clothes and fixing your hair, you stand in front of your parents waiting for them to notice you, and once they do, they scoff and roll their eyes.

“what do you want?” your dad snaps. you sigh and look down at your feet mustering up enough courage to speak.

“i-i’m going out..” even though you expected it, it still made you jump when your dad slammed his fist on the table.

“are you kidding me?!” your mom screams. “everything we do for you and this is how you repay us? by going out to see that little fuckbuddy of yours?!” but little did you know that the “little fuckbuddy” was standing outside the front door with a bundle of roses in his hands. and the window was open.

“you’re disgusting y/n. i thought we raised you better than this.” your dad spat out.

“he’s my boyfriend.” you try to defend yourself but you cringe at how small your voice sounds.

“y/n, no he’s not. even if he says he is, nobody would want to be with you for any longer than like a month.” your mom says with a sickeningly condescending voice. and by now, keigo has heard enough. he can’t even stop himself from banging his fist so hard on the door that he would be worried it might break if he wasn’t so angry. you jump at the sound and turn to look at the door. you didn’t realize he was here, but now you’re just praying that he didn’t hear anything. your parents put on their facade as the loving parents that they are far from and walk towards the door.

“you must be keigo! we’ve heard so much about you.” you mom smiles.

“only good things!” your dad reaches his hand out to shake his and keigo scoffs.

“wow if i hadn’t heard everything before this i would probably believe that this is how you actually act.” his words shock all three of you. 

“excuse me?” you dad questions, a bit of the regular anger evident in his voice starting to peek through.

“y/n get over here.” keigo says with soft eyes. you immediately walk towards him but your mom’s arm across your chest stops you.

“she’s not going anywhere.” you mom says with a clenched jaw.

“i suggest you get your hands off her before i call the police.” keigo raises his eyebrow, trying his best to keep a calm demeanor. the arm moves out of your way and you move to stand next to keigo. 

“you disgust me. i hope one day you can see how much you fucked up by treating y/n this way. and the fact that a childless student like me can see that this is no way to raise a kid, meanwhile you two think it’s okay, shows how fucked you are in the head.” keigo places his hand on the small of your back and leads you to his car. he opens the door for you and puts your seatbelt on. you sit there still trying to figure out what just happened. he quickly drives away but stops the car again once he’s around the corner. he runs over to your side and opens the door. his hands cupping your face and wiping tears that you didn’t even realized had fallen down your cheeks.

“did they ever hit you?” his eyes, full of panic, roam your body and face. you shake your head and he sighs, pulling you into a tight hug.

“i don’t want you going back there. they don’t deserve to have someone as amazing as you in their presence.” you pull away and look down at your lap.

“kei i don’t really have anywhere else to go.”

“are you kidding? you’ll obviously be staying with me.” he smiles softly but the smiles drops when you shake your head. 

“i don’t want to get in the way..”  you say softly and his expression changes to one of pain. his eyes well up with tears when he remembers his words from the night before.

“i have to wake up so early tomorrow for training..”

“baby i’m so sorry. i’m so so sorry. i didn’t mean it like that you’re never in the way, i promise.” he’s mentally slapping himself because if only he realized what was going on sooner. maybe he could have kept you from getting hurt more. you look at him, able to tell exactly what he was thinking.

“it’s okay kei, you had no way of knowing.” he pulls you into another hug and runs his fingers up and down your back.

“you’re staying with me, okay? we’ll figure out how to get all of your stuff later. no one’s ever going to treat you like that again.” tears start streaming down your cheeks again and you nod. after a few minutes you pull away wiping the tears from his face as he does the same for you.

“can we go get ice cream?” you ask softly.

“yes baby girl,” he chuckles “let’s go get ice cream.”

[mcbride]

Daryl Dixon + romantic gestures

Daryl’s always taking care of people, but there’s no one he takes better care of than Carol. He’s always doing little things for her, some of them completely platonic with no ulterior motive than to help, support and comfort his BFF Carol. although on some not so rare occasions, there’s no mistaking that some of his actions can be interpreted for what they really are - romantic gestures. 

Daryl Dixon is actually a pretty sensible/sensitive guy, which coming from someone with an abusive past and complete lack of experience when it comes to relationships and expressing his feelings, is shockingly surprising. Plus, it’s the damn apocalypse, there’s no time to court a woman, but consciously or not, that’s exactly what Daryl’s been doing for the past decade. I really think sometimes he’s completely clueless he is actually doing it until he becomes too self-aware, showing some vulnerability, shyness and even awkwardness. However those romantic gestures just come naturally to him when he’s around Carol.

The most painfully obvious romantic gestures by Daryl Dixon after the jump...

The shoulder massage

Carol is uncomfortable, her shoulder hurts, and without thought Daryl simply offers to massage it for her. He’s so distracted by the ease the two now have with each other that he only notices the intimacy boundary he just crossed when Carol intensely looks back at him and smiles. “Pretty romantic,” she comments. Yes. Yes, it is. Daryl did that. He becomes aware of exactly what he is doing and what it could mean, but since he’s not ready for any of that, he backtracks. Carol’s teasing jokes aren’t unwelcome but he really doesn’t know how to respond beyond the cute, smiling “STAHP.”

The sanctuary hug

As soon as he realizes it’s Carol approaching the group, Daryl completely forgets himself, everybody else around them and runs to literally sweep her off her feet. This is the first time Daryl actively seeks physical contact on a deeper level with another human being on the show. It’s a huge turning point. Do I need to say more?

The protective/chivalrous act

Daryl always acts as a protector of those who need the most, but he subtly and unconsciously acts extremely protective of Carol even knowing she is damn capable of protecting herself. Daryl will have Carol’s back on every occasion and physically stand between her and potential danger, like when they first encountered Father Gabriel or when Noah put her in danger. He will offer her food/water, make sure she is sleeping and she is ok. He may act like a crude rude redneck around anyone else (pissing in the corner, manhandling people, beastly chugging spaghetti), but not around Carol. There’s so many examples of Daryl continuously doing the apocalypse equivalent of opening the door for her. Daryl’s chivalry is reserved for Carol. She may know him better than anyone else, but he really wants her to see the best version of himself.

The water jugs (part II of the chivalrous act)

Yep, Daryl’s got no game whatsoever, but he did try to be smooth, showing Carol that the redneck can be a real gentleman, and that’s progress. Even though, Daryl is already carrying as many water jugs as one can safely carry, he offers to take one of Carol’s too. There’s no logic to this gesture that ends with Daryl facepalming in embarrassment when he lets one of his jugs fall out of his hand to land at Carol’s feet. Carol’s face is priceless. He gets a teasing smile and probably should take that as a win considering her state of mind in that moment.

The food tray with flower (part III of the chivalrous act)

Something as simple as leaving someone a tray of food with a flower would have been a perfectly casual act. But we’re talking about Merle Dixon’s brother, the one who considered himself a nobody before the world went to shit. Daryl, the guy who eats raw squirrel/possum with his bare hands, took the time to pick a flower to decorate the tray of food he carefully left at Carol’s door. Is there anything more romantic in the middle of the damn apocalypse ffs? I still can’t believe we were robbed of watching Carol’s expression when she realized he had done that for her right before she’d tease him about it. But Carol wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind to voice her appreciation for these small grand gestures.

The compliments/teasing

When Carol needs an ego boost, Daryl is there to remind her she’s a good shot, she saved them all at Terminus, and she’s got a whole lot more to offer, but her place is with them/the group. She is needed. He has been slowly learning to tease/flirt with Carol through the years. Daryl, too pragmatic for the frivolous things of the past, lets Carol know she looks good in pink. He’s also quick to let her know her soccer mom style is so not her. “You look ridiculous.” Recently, they have crossed into teen love territory with their competitive flirty games of kill the walker or hit the can, while relentlessly taunting each other. This new playfulness between them resulted in an exchange of gifts- the friendship bracelet and lucky acorns, - they obviously both cherish.

The unconditional support

There’s absolutely nothing Daryl won’t do for Carol - from babysitting her kid to letting her know he could and would never hate her no matter what. Daryl will defend Carol against Rick, Tyreese, Gabriel, Magna, and whoever else. If that wasn’t enough, he was also there for her, holding her during the two worst moments of her life - losing both of her kids, Sophia and Henry. And he continues to stay by her side through anything and everything, even when she’s on a reckless revenge mission. “I’m the one you tell. Me.” Daryl wants to help her, but Carol is not able to open up to him and yet it does not stop him. “I wanna be there for you.” After Carol crossed every line and pushed all of his limits and you think he’s had enough, Daryl is still reassuring her everything is gonna be alright. “You still got me.” This is LOVE, not platonic love, it’s the ‘you are under my skin’ type of love that is forever.

The need to comfort

The skittish Daryl, who was afraid of any and all human contact when we first met him, is now completely gone. He’s grown so much and he’s finally in a position to provide emotional comfort and to express it through physical contact. He has done this with Judith and Connie too, but Daryl’s weakness (and strength) is Carol and her emotional well being is his priority. The best way he found to express this is to hug her whenever he feels like she needs it the most - from finding her at the savior’s compound, checking up on her at the creepy house in the woods, trying to bring her back to think about the future they can still have, to reassuring her he’ll always be there for her. Daryl is no longer shy about pulling her in for a big full body hug, and sometimes I wonder if he’s not doing it for his own sake too. I mean who can ever resist a teary eyed Carol!?!

The desire to spend time together

For someone who isn’t used to express his wishes/feelings, Daryl has been making an effort to let Carol know how much he enjoys spending time with her and her alone. He started with a timid “I don’t like not seeing you” to openly ask her to come home and tell he needs her to stay and not isolate herself again. “Otherwise I’ll have to punch holes in all them boats.” This quickly escalated when Carol suggested they could stop fighting and leave it all behind. The idea the two of them could just get on the bike and go, run away together, has been deeply seeded on Daryl’s mind and he alludes to it few times through the last season. “We have a future./New Mexico’s still out there.” Daryl is finally ready. Carol just needs to catch up.

[more-stuff-of-pi]

Believe Because He is Good

a/n: I’ve been thinking of writing something like this and I read these beauties by @volleychumps and was inspired to just write out what was in my head. This is very much a self-comfort fic regarding my personal experience, ofc featuring my og hq mans :)

notes: y/e/n = your ex’s name. requests are open :) find my masterlist here

pairing: sawamura daichi x fem!reader | genre: angst (w/happy ending) | warnings: asshole exes, implied past abuse (emotional, manipulation, slight physical), implied panic/anxiety attack | word count: 2,395

Balls were bouncing off the court, slapping the wood as Karasuno wound down, practicing serves. Even Noya tried his hand at serving, the ball smacking into the net. Tanaka laughed at Noya, ceasing when a volleyball knocked into his head. The culprit, Hinata, squeaked as Tanaka scrambled after him, Noya roaring with laughter all the while, gripping Asahi’s arm as he in turn knitted his brows together. Tsukishima rolled his eyes as Yamaguchi hid a giggle behind a hand.

Despite the chaos of Karasuno, an immense feeling of pure joy washed over you as you stood in the doorway of the gym. Nothing felt quite like seeing the team together. Their bond and their energy always lifted your spirits. And, of course, the handsome captain was the cherry on top.

“Great work today, guys!” Daichi called out to his team, signalling that practice was well over. They started to casually saunter over, Suga coming to take his place as vice next to his captain. “We’ve got a practice -- Nishinoya, Tanaka, shut it -- we’ve got a practice match next week, so I wanna see you all working hard to be ready. Shimizu and Yachi left early to run some errands for Sensei, so please do your best in cleaning up. Alright, get to it!” Daichi clapped, releasing the group to their chores.

As the group dwindled, you watched as Suga tapped Daichi’s arm and jutted his head in your direction. Confused, Daichi glanced towards you and instantly his face melted from slight exhaustion into absolute adoration. He bid goodbye to Suga who clapped him on the back with a mischievous grin in return, causing Daichi to cough.

You giggled, waving to Suga whose grin widened as he threw a peace sign up before turning to do his part in cleaning up. Daichi joined you at your place by the door, lightly touching a hand to your hip, leaning down to peck your lips in greeting.

“Hi, Y/n,” he welcomed warmly as he smoothly laced your hands together as if it were second nature.

“Hi yourself,” you replied. “Shimizu told me you’d need some help cleaning today.”

He sighed and shook his head. “Still, you didn’t have to come.”

“No,” you agreed, entertaining a wicked grin, “but I heard the captain of this team was really hot so I just had to come see for myself.”

Daichi grinned at your teasing. “Well, you should see the captain’s girlfriend. I heard that she’s a real looker.”

“Mhmm,” you hummed, leaning in for another kiss which Daichi gladly gave. “So what can I help you with, Mr. Team Captain? Because with these boys you will most certainly need it.”

Daichi huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, you’re telling me.” He looked around, scanning the gym for a task you could take up. “Ah! You could take care of the water bottles, if you wouldn't mind.”

“Just dump them out, yeah?” Daichi nodded. “Seems simple enough. I’ll go do that and then when we’re done here we could go out for meat buns, maybe.”

“You struck another craving, haven’t you?”

“Your treat!” you teased in answer, snatching up the carton of bottles and escaping from the gym before Daichi could reply. Stepping out, you begin absentmindedly busying yourself with unscrewing the lids of each bottle as you make your way to the outdoor sinks. Focused on the task, you don’t notice the person in front of you until you’re crashing into them, effectively spilling the water you were on your way to empty. Well, that’s one way to do it.

“Oh, my gosh,” you crouched down, quickly picking up the bottles, “I am so so--” 

“Hi, Y/n,” the boy said, looking down at you with a tight lipped smile. He was a year your junior and also your ex. You had broken up with him at the beginning of summer vacation but had fortunately not seen him since, even through several months into the school year. You had foolishly hoped that your luck would continue and you would miraculously not ever see him again. But he was also a student at Karasuno and shared not only many of your extracurricular interests but also a handful of friends, of whom were responsible for setting you two up in the first place. What they didn’t know is that they were setting you up for disaster.

The relationship had started with no base friendship or really any genuine knowledge of the other besides the words of others from the grape vine. In retrospect, it was a plain bad idea. You two had fun at first but soon into your relationship, your boyfriend had begun pressuring you. He started with little things, subtly manipulating you until it was hard for you to recognize what your own boundaries genuinely were, as blurry as he made the lines. He was cunning and cornered you into situations you didn’t want to be in as easily as he could talk. He never complimented you, never made an effort for you, never validated you. Normally, you would stand up for yourself, speak out against this mistreatment, but something about him made you weak. And not in that head over heels kinda weak. The type of weak that drained you, that made you doubt yourself where you wouldn’t have before, that twisted your own strengths to look like hindrances.

It seems that even after months apart, he still had that same, nauseating effect on you.

“Hi, Y/e/n.” You forced a pretty smile, trying your best to stay polite and to ignore all of the sudden flowing emotions, not wanting to admit to him -- nor yourself -- that the damage he had done was still raw. “Sorry about that, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“Still ever the clutz,” he laughed, something cruel and mocking.

You grit your teeth, smile impossibly tight. Whatever semblance of sanity you had left pleading for you to remain polite. “I’m sorry. Now if you’ll excuse me--”

He abruptly put a hand on your shoulder to stop you. “Where’re you heading?” The thinly coated politeness was easy to see through when you had suffered through the consequences of believing it.

“To rinse these.” You lifted the carton of now mostly empty water bottles. You went to move past him and tried to brush off his hand, but it only tightened, his thumb painfully digging into the dip between your shoulder and your collarbone. You inhaled shapely at the resulting shock and pain.

The movement reminded you of other times he had done this subtle control, other times he had wanted you to just shut up and comply, other times he coerced you, forced you--

“Why don’t I accompany you, hm? It’s been awhile since we’ve had the opportunity to chat. Let’s catch up,” he said with a toothy smile that even his eyes carried. The familiarity of this compelled you to learned submissiveness, breaths desperately trying to claw their way from your throat. You tried to swallow them down, but they were clawing faster than you could handle.

“I have a job to do, Y/e/n.” Your voice sounded weak, even to your own ears. You weren’t fooling him. 

His thumb dug even harder. “C’mon it’s the least you can do after purposely spilling that water all over me--”

“It was an accident--!”

He raised his other hand, going in to grab your arm -- to gain more control over you -- when someone caught his wrist.

“What do you think you’re doing?” A voice said quietly, eerily so. Despite that, under its influence and familiarity, an intense calm washed over you, wrapping you in comfort and relief.

Turning, the image that greeted you of Daichi’s wrath was that of an angel of death, beautiful and fearsome in all of his glory. In his eyes he held enough heat to burn the ends of the earth. And it was all for you.

Your ex shook his wrist from Daichi’s grasp, trying to subtly shake it out. His grip on your shoulder loosened though he didn’t pull away. “I’m just catching up with an old… friend,” he spat, his polite veil thinly covering his malice.

“I’ve never known old friends to hurt each other in greeting.” Daichi was fuming, to say the least. Whatever you had against your ex, you were amazed at his sincere idiocracy. That, or his delusionment that he could genuinely stand level to Daichi.

“I wasn’t hurting her,” he sneered, “I was just saying hi.”

“You could do that without putting your hands on her. I suggest you take them off.”

Your ex snorted and glanced down at you, his hand squeezing reflexively. “Are you really just going to cower there and let him speak for you? You were always telling me what to do, I’m surprised you’re actually staying quiet.” You instinctively flinched away from him, tears threatening to sting your eyes. You knew he was wrong, that he was trying to hurt you, but that broken part of you couldn’t help but believe him.

Daichi, from the corner of his eyes, saw your distressed state, the sight causing his heart to lurch. In his eyes, you were absolutely incredible. So kind and giving and loving and it angered him to no end that anyone would be able to make you believe anything otherwise. He loved you, so incredibly much and he wanted nothing more than to protect you and keep loving you.

“Get off of me,” you whispered, trying to convince yourself that your ex no longer had any control over you.

Your ex smiled wickedly, finally taking his hand off. “There you go, sweetheart. All you had to do was ask.”

“And all you had to do was leave,” Daichi seethed.

“Sorry?” Your ex asked lamely.

“You’ve had your stupid fun, now leave. I’m giving you five seconds.” You looked at Daichi and almost flinched away from the absolute hatred burning in his features. The fire that was there before had grown impossibly hotter.

He laughed. Your asshole ex actually laughed in Daichi's face. "And what will you do?"

"Stay longer than five seconds and find out." As much as Daichi was wonderful and patient and mature, if something really got him going, he threw that all out the window. And perhaps that was Daichi's one fault. That he would gladly abandon reason when it came to you.

"Really?"

"Daichi," you breathed, "he's not worth it."

"No," your boyfriend agreed, "he's not. But it would be so satisfying." Without warning, Daichi lunged and gripped the front of your ex's shirt, pulling the shorter boy roughly to be chest to chest with him. Your ex gulped audibly, his tough persona crumbling away far too easily at a single physical touch. Granted, an angry Daichi held all the fury in the world barely contained in a wall of muscle. Even the word intimidating would be too much of an understatement. "Don't you ever touch her again. Don't look at her, don't talk to her -- in fact, stay far away from her," he snarled, boiling over like an animal on the hunt. He threw your ex away from him. You watched as he stumbled, tripping over his own feet and landing harshly on his ass. Daichi took advantage of this, squatting down over him before leaning in and whispering, "your five seconds are long gone. You can either leave or stay and find out what I can do."

Your ex glanced between you and Daichi, defiance somehow still lingering in his features. Seeing Daichi, though, had given you some courage and confidence as being around him often did. You believed in yourself again, just enough to look your ex in the eyes.

"Goodbye, Y/e/n."

He scrambled from his place on the ground (where he surely belonged, you thought bitterly) and disappeared from sight. You gasped for air, relieved he was gone, the anxiety that threatened to overtake you flooding from your body.

Daichi immediately turned to you, worry and love replacing the wrath in his eyes. "Can I hold you?"

"Please," you gasped, tears that rarely ever came already spilling silently down your cheeks.

With your permission, Daichi rushed from his crouch, pulling you gently to him as his hand came up to card through your hair. You clung onto him, holding him impossibly closer as you sobbed into his chest. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, pushing hair that had fallen into your face behind your ear. You leaned into his touch, revelling in the love and comfort he provided.

"I love you, Y/n," he said as you lifted your gaze to meet his searching one, "I love you so much. I'm sorry you ever had to deal with that but… but I'm so glad that I'm here with you."

"I'm glad you're here with me, too," you sniffled, wiping at your face. "Where's everyone else?"

"Gone," he replied and you noticed for the first time that he was already changed out of his gym clothes. Just behind you was his discarded bag. "Suga and Asahi went on ahead. I thought it was odd that you didn't ever come back in so I came to check on you."

"I'm glad you did."

Daichi smiled softly. "I am too."

"I'm sorry you had to step in. I don't know why I couldn't handle it, I usually can it's just-- he--"

"Hey, hey," he lifted his other hand to your face, holding you as he gently coaxed you to look at him, "you have nothing to be sorry for."

"But--"

"No buts. You did a great job. You can't just erase what he did to you or how he made you feel. You're allowed to react the way you did, Y/n. Okay?"

You nod. "Okay."

Daichi smiled warmly. "Good. Now how about we put those bottles away and we go out for meat buns."

"Your treat?"

Daichi laughed, the sweet sound bringing a smile to your lips. "Yeah, my treat." He laced his fingers through yours, still grinning.

"Daichi?"

"Hm?" he hummed.

"Thank you. I love you."

His smile softened as he leaned down, kissing you softly. "I love you too, Y/n."

And because it was him, because Daichi was so kind and charming and good, you truly believed him.

taglist: @samwrights (ily mom)

[smellycinnamonthundahfudge]

The Black Widow Essay

one of em anw, lol

i'm just gonna start with the very beginning of the film, cause start to finish, they put so much detail in and you can tell everyone really cared to make natasha's story as full & vibrant as they possibly could.

them showing how early on she liked dying her hair or was used to it, even as a child?

as well as such innocent sweet things as this scene

all possibly subtly hinting these girls’ physical capabilities and their dark upbringing or who they really are as spies???

just, how seemingly normal child like things could be subtle hints toward something darker??

but it was STILL something innocent and sweet nevertheless whether they were able to do that cause of their training??

LOVED THAT.

the fact that NAT HAD FRIENDS??? WHEN SHE WAS A KID???

so important to me...

(cause they didn't really need to add that,... but they did)

how the whole operatives pretending as fake families made perfect sense cause they do it all the time in spy movies…

and how yeah, if there were child spies, then they could be used for spy families,

but this was the first movie that DARED to talk about the complexity of it all…

of a fake family being the only family that you had.

I bring this up because I just fucking love it and it reminds me of what they did in wandavision

rushed holidays and birthdays and normal family occasions all in one, because that was all they could get…

the idea of fake empty families in both bw and wv and jac schaeffer being involved with both of em??? gods im in love hahahah

in other spy movies, it’s just so plot focused…

they’re disguised as this to get to this and blablabla

they don’t dare to talk that they were more than their mission

that they have interests hobbies hopes dreams AND LIVES, beyond their work

(say what you will about captain marvel, but I will repeat, it was the first to show women had lives interests hobbies dreams beyond the work that they had...)

i just... the spy families thing is always so plot-centric, but this one, the infiltration aspect had an emotional side to it since it meant that they could all get a reprieve from their normal horrific lives

that's what i ADORE from this film, when they do something, they always hit for the most emotional, most moving, compelling way it can be told or shown

because, all this time we’ve been told, she’s a child assassin, she’s a child spy, she started when she was young dadadaaa

in other movies, they probably could’ve explored this by showing the violence

what was done to her, to show the meaning of what they did to her…

but you know what I absofuckingtutely die for??

they showed the meaning of the violence through this

that BECAUSE of what was done to her…

she could do that

SHE COULD PROTECT SOMEONE ELSE FROM SUFFERING THE SAME FATE AS SHE DID

all, in the first FIFTEEN 15 FUCKING MINUTES…

I just love how the never endless mention of the child assassin thing

the heaviest meaning of that was so beautifully shown like this…

like, YEAH

THIS.

THIS IS WHAT BEING A FUCKING CHILD ASSASSIN MEANS.

SHE’LL STEAL YOUR GUN, SHOOT TO KILL

ALL TO PROTECT HER INNOCENT, YOUNGER, SISTER

oh wait, I also just love the action of the plane scene

it had so much stakes, I was genuinely panicked and fearing for all of them..

melina was shot, nat was flying the plane, yelena was a terrified baby, alexei was even hanging from the freaking wing…

it wasn’t just weightless action, random kicks and punches on screen…

it was a family fleeing for their lives.

I just wanted to commend the incredible stakes the creatives made sure to put into the film’s first action scene is all.

they could have phoned this in and just have hopper punch some dudes

but they WANTED you to root for this family

they WANTED you to feel scared for them, care about them.

THEY CARED.

the first action scene nat ever did, was to protect her sister…

they could have shown her take down some men following after them…

but they DECIDED for nat to show her full capabilities… when it would matter most.

THEY CARED.

AND… NO ONE, NOT NEARLY ENOUGH PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT IT.

you know what I love about the budapest reveal??

they could have just kept it at the clarifying what actually happened thing

and all of us in the audience can revel in the fact that

shooting it out with the hungarian guard and blowing up a building

was in nat’s eyes

just like a literal alien invasion of floating monsters descending from a portal in the sky

just… bask & appreciate the comedy of this guys…

nat’s so funny, I cant…

no okay, they could have just kept it at that…

but they decided to add WHAT HUMANITY THEY COULD IN THAT BACKSTORY.

and they had nat & clint play tic tac toe in the air vents they were hiding out on…

they didn’t have to do that, but they did…

and not enough people appreciate it enough.

people are already talking about how excellent and wonderful it was, the conversations and commentaries on choice are and I’m only here to say YES MORE OF THAT SHARE IT TO EVERYFREAKING ONE GODDAMN IT

in most marvel movies, the female character & the hero usually just either butt heads or the female just helps out the hero in whatever they need to do, they’re the infallible support structure that keeps the hero up

I think… this is why the dynamic between yelena and nat, hits so goddamn hard…

your pain makes you stronger

so much of this film talks about how their pain made them stronger, the best example of this I believe, is the scene in cuba

what I said about the child assassin repetition all concluding to that “I will kill you all, DON’T TOUCH HER” scene…

her pain was LITERALLY what enabled her to do that.

but I bring back the film’s crux line, cause it’s what I think truly separates and makes yelena and nat’s dynamic so much richer more complex and beautiful to me…

the pain of their past.

nat’s insistence of their time together in america not being real, and her dismissing everything in her past as a widow of the red room as horrible and just something she needed to get away from…

it reminds me of a scene from a show my family watches,

new amsterdam. in it, a woman, escapes a house of neglect and abuse. but she also left behind her younger sister in that household, and naturally, feels deeply guilty about it.

but, her therapist said to her, “you saved the only person that you could.”

and, … I can’t think of anything better to fit nat’s situation.

her dismissal of everything in her past as horrible was a fucking coping mechanism…

it made leaving everything behind, easier…

“it wasn’t real, so there isn’t anything to hold onto” nat herself says

she saved the only person she could… herself.

sigh…

most marvel movies usually just have its theme as “be who you were meant to be”

tony, thor, quill, & rocket learned selflessness

peter parker learned to appreciate what HE had, and not focus on what he was escaping from and to

steve figured out who he was in a new world

t’challa reckoned with the sins of the past

(scott’s just a dad)

carol learned to own her power and who she truly was

but nat??

yeah, sure, she could also fall under that theme.

but I just… I honestly believe the abuse, the pain she endured… makes her arc so much more meaningful and poignant…

because it wasn’t just the hero struggling, then the female side character reassuring them & giving them the strength they needed to be who they needed to be

it was her reckoning with what she did…

it was her shutting off yelena who cared about her, because she didn’t want to think about what she left behind

it was her, keeping her heart… when her mother could not.

how despite melina felt she was a rat in a cage

what SHE taught nat, was what kept nat alive…

the pain nat escaped, still found its way to her, in that because of that pain, she caused pain to the little happiness that she had in her past

she caused pain to yelena, because it was all she could associate to her past, which she NEEDED to escape

pain was inflicted on her, and she inflicted pain too

she also just casually stated her mother throwing her out like garbage

was I the only one who was utterly shaken by her statement??

to only then after say, she thought of her everyday even if she didn’t admit it to herself

(don’t even get me started on this search & importance of her past to her being fucking hinted in the place she died, vormir, where she learned her father’s name.

how even after she defeated dreykov… she still didn’t know it, til then…)

I just…

the creatives put so much effort into making nat’s story so full of heart, humanity, and meaning…

the humanity of tic tac toe over hiding out from an army

playing in the yard and colorful dyed hair hinting the dark upbringing

reckoning with what one did to survive…

black widow, is such a heartfelt humanely painful and beautiful film…

it isn’t just another spy movie

it isn’t just another marvel movie

they talked about abuse in it, guys…

they acknowledged it, unflinchingly

the good, the bad, all of it, the entire truth of it…

that alexei wasn’t allowed a chance to be forgiven for what he did

that he can wash himself clean, and that they give him their forgiveness, for HIS benefit…

that it was the very pain inflicted on them, that enabled them to take their abusers down

You think I can’t take a punch?

it was literally her pain threshold & strength that enabled her to break free from dreykov's control

her capability of severing the nerve borne from the training she endured

her pain was literally what made her stronger

they made sure to show that oksana and antonia wouldn’t be forgotten

they let the other widows do their part

and the ones the family saved, came back for them and saved them too

even antonia, as taskmaster, had someone who cared about her. the young widow who told her to smile, went to her when she was no longer controlled.

it was fighting for control, it was looking & focusing on what WAS there

just like how nat learned to accept that not all of her past was horrible,

I want to show you how this movie shows that not all of how nat was treated in the mcu was horrible

the thank you for your cooperation scene, yes

but, one parallel that I haven’t seen anyone bring up yet is this one…

nat did her job, and it’s how they took down hydra

nat did her job, and that’s how they took down the red room

because of nat’s intelligence, due diligence, they had the intel they needed to take down hydra

and to find and save the other widows…

because that’s precisely why I would die for this film…

they. care.

they remembered that small, for most people forgettable, thing that she did- BUT WAS ACTUALLY THE KEY TO THE WHOLE THING

AND MADE DAMN SURE TO SHOW & HIGHLIGHT ITS IMPORTANCE IN HER FILM.

(her copying the data needed to SAVE THE OTHER WIDOWS IN THE WHOLE WORLD WAS GIVEN THE FOCUS & ENERGY NEEDED TO HIGHLIGHT THAT SCENE'S SIGNIFICANCE CAUSE W/O THAT DATA, THOSE WOMEN WOULD BE LOST)

they KNEW that HER COPYING THAT INFO in the lemurian star in tws IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE is HOW NICK FIGURED OUT HYDRA’S PLAN

AND DECIDED TO FUCKING PARALLEL THAT TOO IN HER FILM CAUSE THEY KNEW THAT DESPITE HOW SMALL THAT SCENE WAS, IT WAS ACTUALLY THE KEY TO THE ENTIRE THING

they know the significance that nat’s story has, how it’s about abuse, and what it does to people

it makes them want to run away & dismiss everything that happened as purely horrible

sometimes, it makes them betray people (like melina & even to some extent, nat…)

they did all this in a marvel movie

the importance of choice, control, autonomy, of women’s lives, every aspect of it

the mundane, their intelligence, their pain, their relationships, their humor & happiness & love…

this was a marvel movie, starring women, produced by women, written (jac schaeffer, wv creator too), directed (cate shortland), and edited (leigh folsom) by women.

this was an excellent beautiful painfully heartfelt luminescent movie, from start to finish.

so much care compassion complexity & love, woven into the story

they cared about what nat DID manage to do in the mcu, not that she was forced into the sidelines

(though, honestly, I think that line about nat never letting herself be alone long enough to figure out what her story is was such an interesting & cool way of acknowledging it…)

nat never spoke much in the films, and they went with it, she’s not the inspiring speech type, she herself says

behind the scenes, they were making nat look as cool as possible with those poses

but in this film, they made it HER character trait

that SHEEEE, WANTS TO POSE LIKE THAT.

I just think that’s so funny… a cute character trait of her wanting to pose all the time and denying/not acknowledging it??

I think it’s a sweet & funnily humanizing trait of hers :’’’))

they made her funny like that, heh…

most mcu movies, they have arcs, they have great interesting moving stories…

I just think this film is chockfull of love over natasha romanoff, a hero, an avenger’s story…

they put so much in to give her as full of a life as they could… a complex, heartbreaking, painful, happy, tragic, loving, human life…

most mcu movies… they’re so plot focused. find this, follow that.

for me, this film wasn’t.

it was women getting their control back.

behind the screen, and on screen, it was women getting their control back…

after a decade and more of getting bits of meaningful crumbs here and there, the creatives of this film gathered all those up, and built a full complex life and story from it…

it dealt with something so real and tragic but also beautiful and full of love.

I don’t think most mcu movies did this.

and it’s why I wrote all of this.

give credit where it’s due.

black widow is the most heartbreakingly painful and beautiful film marvel’s ever made…

it was a full and concise and finished and complete story, start to finish, about the hero who’s earned it, the goddamned most.

acknowledge what they did with this film.

it’s what they, nat & the creatives, deserve.

acknowledge it.

they didn’t work this hard to give nat such a meaningful loving & complex life and family and story, only for it to be called lesser

than films who tackle their themes in much shorter times

and with themes that aren’t as rooted in reality

acknowledge what they did.

acknowledge it.

I’m not really that knowledgeable over what framing and lighting really means…

but I think those details mean something

how their life at ohio, playing in the yard was flickered with sunlight, and fireflies

how it turned to night when they were forced to flee and return to russia

how it was night when they first entered the red room

but then there’d be more and more light as nat had progressed with their plan, with beams of light, flashing through the window behind her

and then once the dust had settled, the sun was rising on them, the survivors.

but… the most poignant & meaningful of all these lighting shots that I found…

was nat’s endings,

when she said goodbye to her family…

it was almost like, she was saying goodbye to us too…

with daylight, shining all around behind her, as she walked away and whistled her goodbye

this happening with her goodbye to her family

and with her official final shot of her, heading into the horizon, to her destiny

saving the universe, and saving her family

they cared so much to give her these beautifully poetically luminescent images of her, guys…

my heart breaks as I don’t see anyone else acknowledging this…

so please… acknowledge it.

acknowledge, what they did.

acknowledge it.

[i-stan-nct-and-satan]

He Calls Me Kitten (Yandere)

Trigger warning: It’s yandere so it’s gonna be abusive. Don’t kink shame me lol

This is actually part 2 read part 1 here.

This was written in response to a request: yandere taeyong x extra obedient submissive female reader? smut. whatever you think about ~♡ 

This is my first time writing smut, so I hope ya’ll like it. 

Taeyong X Reader Smut

It’s been a month since Taeyong threatened to hurt your friend. After you agreed to start following his rules, he locked you in your personal bedroom while he took her home. You have no idea how long he had her or how he managed to get her home without getting caught or even if he took her home at all. You still had no contact with the outside world so it wasn’t like you could send her a text or check in on her, All you knew was that if you disobeyed Taeyong you risked the lives of all those you care about, so you did what you had to. You submitted completely.

At first it was really difficult to follow his rules because there were so many and since you used to rebel against them, you never bothered to learn them. You were worried that Taeyong was going to hurt you or worse, someone you cared about even if you only made one mistake. That didn’t turn out to be the case. Taeyong could tell that you were making an effort to obey him, so he acted out of character and took mercy on you. That isn’t to say that you weren’t punished, just not punished harshly, like before. Punishments were changed to things like no dinner, receiving a harsh scowling, or losing the tv privileges for a day. After a week, punishments returned to physical violence, but instead of full on beatings, Taeyong would spank you as his main form of punishment.  

You did everything in your power to appease Taeyong. You figured that you would just have to accept the fact that this was your life now. You were no longer the girl who once fought back against your captor. That girl was gone. She was broken.  

It wasn’t all bad though. You found life more enjoyable when you submitted. Less punishments, and more interaction. You still haven’t been able to talk to anyone but Taeyong in over two months, but you were able to disassociate the angry Taeyong from the Taeyong who kept you company throughout the day.

It had officially been one week since you last broke a rule, the longest period you’ve managed thus far, and things became...different. You realized that the psychological toll this entire situation was probably the reason for your thinking but having gone an entire week without angering Taeyong had allowed you to see a side of him that almost resembled a normal boyfriend.  

When he had first kidnapped you, he claimed that he did it out of love. He told you that he was in love with you and that you were meant to be his and only his forever. Yet every action he took since then had felt like it was out of hatred for you, at least until you started obeying him.

This week he had been especially kind. He brought home dresses, saying that he bought it knowing you would like it. He would make your favorite meals and talk for hours about things he knew interested you. You would stare at him during dinner because he demanded eye-contact whenever you were talking or listening to him talk and you noticed how attractive he was. Before you had only seen him as a monster, so you never noticed how handsome his features were. His eyes were so large, like he was an anime character, and his jaw was so perfect you could use it to measure angles. You couldn’t help but wonder, how could a guy so attractive want you? He could have any girl he wanted, as long as they didn’t find out about his psycho personality. So why did he choose someone so average?  

Despite Taeyong having no problem with hurting you in the past, he had never forced you to do anything sexual up to this point. He hadn’t even demanded a kiss, but you were worried that might not be the case for long.  

Taeyong recognized that the more time he spent with you, the less angry he got when you misbehaved. He knew he couldn’t let you figure this out though, so he tried to be as consistent as possible in his punishments, despite going easy on you every once in a while.  

You didn’t know this, but Taeyong actually wanted you to want him. He felt like he had to break you to make you comfortable with the lifestyle he forced you into, but he didn’t want to force you to love him back. Even with you acting the way that you were, something felt wrong. He didn’t know if the conversations where you both laughed together were real or just you acting like how you thought he wanted you to act. He was okay with waiting for you to want him, especially now that you were slowly getting used to everything, but there was one problem.

Taeyong knew that you weren’t ready, but he was struggling with the wait. Every time he saw you when you didn’t know that he was there, you looked more beautiful than the day he first saw you. He didn’t know how difficult living with you would be when he knew he couldn’t touch you in the way he wanted to so desperately.  

The way the clothes he bought you hugged your curves. The way you would bite your lips whenever you were processing something he said. Just the way you looked at him when you were afraid you might have broken a rule, were enough to make his pants feel too tight. There were several instances where you would unknowingly do something that turned him on so much, that he had to excuse himself for a few hours. He thought he would go crazy. He even considered just taking you a few times, but he knew that having you crave for his touch would be much more satisfying.  

You weren’t a virgin, so you knew how to have sex and you had been masturbating since your early teens. Taeyong found out that you weren’t a virgin back when he first started stalking you, but he didn’t care who touched you before him because you were his now. You hadn’t even thought about touching yourself since you started living with Taeyong out of fear that he might have security cameras in every room. This took a serious toll on your hormones because you felt like you were going to explode if you kept putting off your release.  

You knew it was bad when one night you had a dream about having sex with your captor. You woke up and the first thing you noticed were how soaked your underwear was.  

“Was that a wet dream?” you asked yourself out loud.  

You had gone do long without orgasming that it made sense that your boy would... well experience one, but you couldn’t help but feel dirty about experiencing one while thinking about... him.  

Remembering the contents of the dream you felt even more confusion. You know that he was a monster, but for some reason you can’t help but imagine what he would look like with him mouth around your... yeah. You also take the sheets off of your bed and take them to the laundry room. You’re still wearing you’re the same pastel pink night gown you slept in, but you changed into new underwear. You turn on the washer and then look at the clock hanging on the wall.

“Fuck. I’m late!” you curse under your breath.

Breakfast was at 8 am every day and it was 8:01. You knew that you were screwed no matter what, but still you ran to the dining room. Taeyong was already sitting down for breakfast when you entered the room.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” you stated as soon as you sat down.  

Taeyong just looked at you and you became confused until you realized that you were still wearing your nightgown, which was barely long enough to cover your butt and definitely showed more cleavage than any of your day clothes. Taeyong kept staring and you threw your hands up to cover your chest.  

“I’m sorry that I’m late and that I’m not dressed,” you apologized.

Taeyong coughed. He really couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to rip the nightgown off of you.  

“You’re not late, it’s 7:56,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes.

“But the clock in the laundry room said I was late,” you explained.

Taeyong looked at you as you took a sip of your water.

“Why were you in the laundry room this early?” he inquired.

Youre face turned red as you remembered your dream. An image of Taeyong watching you as he slams his member into you fills your mind and you choke on your water.

Taeyong looks at you, confused.  

“I was just trying to do laundry earlier so that it would dry before tonight,” you hurriedly answer.

Taeyong seems satisfied by your answer.

“Go change into that blue dress that I bought you. Don’t take more than five minutes,” He commanded.

You stood up from the table and made your way to your room. You didn’t have time to process the images that kept flooding your mind, so you changed into your dress and went back to eat breakfast.

The day was a very confusing day for both of you. Taeyong had never seen so much of your body before. Even when he was stalking you, he never had a good view of your bedroom, so he rarely saw you dressed up in anything that revealing. Even when he had to force you out of your room, you were always dressed in your day clothes. You couldn’t stop thinking about your dream and being near the star of it didn’t help.  

You both subtly avoided each other as much as possible until it was time for dinner. Taeyong always had a glass of wine with dinner. You tried your best to avoid drinking around him so that you wouldn’t risk breaking a rule due to being intoxicated, but tonight, you knew that you needed some help getting through and entire dinner with the man you did unspeakable things with in your dream.  

“Umm... Taeyong?”  

Taeyong looked at you.

“Yes?” he replied.

“Is it okay if I have a glass of wine as well tonight?”

Taeyong didn’t respond. He merely got up and walked into the kitchen. He soon returned with a clean glass and poured you a modest serving of the crimson liquid.  

You thanked him and then downed the glass in one go, earning a confused look from the man in front of you.  

“Is something wrong, kitten?”

The nickname which had once felt demeaning caused fire to rise up into your cheeks.  

“no, sir. Nothing is wrong.”

Taeyong looked you in the eyes with that intense gaze as if he were saying “If I catch you lying, you’re dead.”

You gulped.  

Taeyong kept looking at you, but eventually continued eating.  

God, what is wrong with me? You wondered to yourself. You were terrified of Taeyong and yet excited by him. Is this what they called Stockholme syndrome? No, you weren’t in love with him, just attracted to him.  

“If you’re done eating, you can go back to your room,”

Your thoughts were interrupted as your captor dismissed you. He remained seating which was peculiar because he normally required you to wait until he left the table. You hesitate for a moment but decide to follow his more recent orders than worrying about his rules. You make your way to your room and let out a huge sigh. That was so awkward.  

You decide to go to bed early tonight but are unable to fall asleep due to the wild thoughts running through your head. After an hour of just staring at the ceiling, you decide to go get yourself some milk, hoping it will aid you in falling asleep faster. You slowly make your way down the hall. Your room was at the end of the hall, a few rooms away from Taeyong’s. You wanted to make sure that you wouldn’t wake him, so you had to keep quiet while passing his room, but you noticed something peculiar. His door was open. Was he not in bed? You stared at the door. It wasn’t wide open, just cracked a bit, as if it was meant to be closed, but you weren’t sure. You didn’t want to go downstairs if Taeyong was still down there, so you decided to move closer to investigate.  

When you moved closed you noticed a strange noise coming from the other side. It sounded like someone in pain. Curiosity got the best of you and you slowly opened the door, not knowing what was on the other side.  

Inside you saw Taeyong, eyes closed with one arm keeping him steady as he leaned against the against the wall. His other hand slowly pumping his member. Your eyes widened at the sight, but you remained silent. You couldn’t help but stare. Taeyong’s hard was messy, as if he had been running his hands through it. His eyebrows were furrowed as if he was concentrating on his thoughts. He was fully dressed but he had taken his cock out of his pants. You were only a few yards away, but he hadn’t noticed you peeking through the open door.  

“Ah. God. Y/N. Fuck,” He moaned.

Your breathing hitched slightly. He was thinking about you? It should have seemed obvious since he was literally obsessed with you, but for some reason, you couldn’t believe that such a godly man was fantasizing about you. You noticed a burning feeling coming from your core. If your hormones were driving you crazy this morning, then they were driving you absolutely fucking insane now. You closed your eyes as your hand made its way to your clothed wetness. You were wearing the same nightgown from this morning. You weren’t drunk, but it felt like it. You knew that it was wrong, but you didn’t care. You just wanted to feel full.  

“Y/N?”

Your eyes shot open at your gaze met Taeyong’s. He hadn’t move from his original spot, but his head was turned towards you. You gasped and turned to run away until...

“Stop,” ordered Taeyong. You stopped, having gotten used to following his every order this last week.  

Taeyong came out of his room and you couldn’t help but notice he had zipped up his pants. He positioned himself right in front of you and leaned his face closer to yours. His face remained cold as he put his arm on the wall above you. The image of him having been in that same position moments earlier crosses you mind. You remained silent, waiting for him to do something.  

“What were you doing Y/N? And remember, don’t lie,” he said in his rough voice.

“I...I was going to get a glass of milk, but I heard noise coming from your room so I opened the door to see where it was coming from,” you answered.

“I see,” Taeyong leaned in closer so that his lips were merely inches away from brushing against your ears.  

“Are you sure that it was curiosity that made you open the door?”  

You could feel his smirk forming despite him not having touched you. The heat that was vacating your core had spread to your cheeks as you blushed. Had you known the cause of the sound? What he right? Did you know what he was doing, yet chose to open it anyway?

“I... I,” you stuttered.

Taeyong didn’t even let you finish before he asked his next question.

“And what was my little kitten doing while she watched me?” he asked, his breath tickling your ear

Despite your embarrassment, you knew that he saw you and that lying would just lead to you being in more trouble than you already were.  

“I was touching myself,” you squeaked.  

Taeyong chuckled into your ear.

“And why would my little kitten me touching herself like that?”

“Because I... I,” you found yourself almost admitting your dirty fantasies to Taeyong. It was almost as if you really were drunk, despite only having half a drink an hour prior.

Taeyong was not pleased with your sudden hesitance to answer him. He grabbed your throat with his free hand but didn’t apply any pressure.

“Didn’t I tell you what would happen if you didn’t do what I say?” he warned.

You looked up at his big doe eyes and swallowed.

“I was touching myself because I wanted you to fuck me,” you replied in a quiet voice. Your embarrassment at the words that fell from your mouth was apparent.  You closed your eyes tight, afraid of seeing the satisfied face in front of you.

Before you are able to open your eyes, Taeyong grabs your hands pinning them to the wall above your head. You stare at his face, not being able to decipher his emotions. You thought he would be smirking at your confession, but he looked angry, no you had seen him angry before and this wasn’t it. You could hear his breath was heavier than usual and his gaze was intense. He wasn’t mad, he was hungry.  

“You know, only bad kittens go poking their heads where they don’t belong. Do you know what happens to bad kittens? They get punished, especially little perverted kittens like you,” He growled.

Suddenly afraid hearing the word punishment, you braced yourself for whatever pain he was about to inflict, but you kept eye contact. You knew that this was probably the most punishable thing you had done since you arrived.

Taeyong inched his body closer to yours.

“If you want to get out of this punishment alive, you better do whatever I say,” his hot breath made your whole body shudder.

“Y-yes, sir AH!”

Taeyong wasted no time in attacking your neck with his mouth. It had been so long since you had anyone touch you intimately like this so every spot, he touched ended up becoming a new sweet spot. You were surprised by the sudden action, but that didn’t stop you from becoming a moaning mess. You wanted to touch him back, but your arms were pinned to the wall and you didn’t want to risk disobeying him.  

He removed his lips from your neck and the sudden absence made you frustrated beyond belief.  

Taeyong took your arms from the wall and wrapped them around his neck.

“Jump,” he commanded.

You jumped and he swiftly grabbed your legs guiding them to wrap around his waist. He carried you into his room where he sat you onto his desk, your legs still wrapped around him. He took his time taking off his own shirt, lifting it over his head and throwing it to the floor. He was thin, but more muscular than you had imagined. You could see the veins in his arms as he grabbed your waist and continued his attack on your neck.  

He had you now and there was no way he was going to stop. He knew he was going to enjoy this punishment very much.  

He grabbed you ass and pulled it to the edge of the desk, earning a loud yelp from you. HE positioned your legs so that his body was keeping them open for him. He wanted to see exactly how he made you feel so he pressed his thumb over your underwear where your slit was.  

“Who made you this wet kitten?”  

“You did, sir.”

Taeyong laughed at your response. You were being so good for him.

He raised his thumb slightly and started applied a light pressure, rubbing small circles around your clit. The friction from your underwear felt amazing, but you needed more. Small mewls escaped your mouth and you could tell that he was teasing you on purpose.  

“Taeyong,” you moaned softly.

“No talking unless I ask you a question,” Taeyong growled as he removed his hand from your heat.  

“Do you understand?”

“Yes sir,” you replied.

“Good.”

Taeyong backed away a few feet and motioned for you to get off his desk, which you did.

“Kneel,” he commanded.

You kneeled in front of him.

He unzipped his pants and freed his still hard cock from his boxers.  

“Suck it,”

You looked up at him before grabbing his member with your hands. You were about to the tip into your mouth before Taeyong stopped you.

“Did I tell you you could use your hands?”

“No, sir,” you spoke softly as you returned your hand to your lap.  

You put your mouth over the head of his cock and he quietly hums in approval. You start out slowly, focusing on the tip, giving it kitten licks before you start taking him deeper into your throat. He wasn’t the biggest, but he was by far the thickest. You were worried about how long you would be able to keep this up before you got lockjaw.  

He grabbed your hair and started thrusting himself into the back off your throat. You reflexively gagged and attempted to pull away.

“Don’t pull away unless you want to see me get angry,” he warned.

You couldn’t breathe even through your nose, but you pushed through the discomfort until he withdrew himself from your mouth. You could see long strings of your saliva still connecting your lips to his throbbing dick.  

“Get up,” Taeyong groaned through heavy breaths.  

You stood up in front of him waiting for your next order, but he just grabbed you and turned you so that you were facing the desk. He pushed your body down, slamming you onto the desk. He held your head down with one of his hands and used the other to pull your underwear down. He had wanted to taste you, to force you to keep your legs open when he made you cum on his tongue, but he couldn't handle waiting any longer. He would have to punish you more harshly next time, he thought to himself. The thought of denying your orgasm for hours on end only made his cock feel more needy than it already was.  

Hanging above his desk was a large mirror that captured both of your upper bodies perfectly. Taeyong noticed this and smirked at the sight of him finally being able to take you. He loved seeing your body in such a vulnerable position. He loved the way he could see your essence running down your thighs. He hadn’t even touched you for more than a few seconds and yet you were soaking wet, all for him and him only.  

“What did you say you wanted earlier, kitten?”  

“I want you to fuck me, sir.”

“And why on earth would I do that?” He teased in his deep voice.

“Please,” you whined.  

He slapped your ass hard enough to leave a mark.

“Please what? Use your words kitten.”

“Please fuck me, sir.”

“Hmmm,” Taeyong hummed.

“I don’t know if bad little kittens like you deserve to be fucked.”

You could feel another wave of your juices running down your thighs. You were dripping.

“Maybe I should just handcuff you to the bed and tease you all day. What do you think about that kitten? Doesn’t that seem like a much more suitable punishment?”

Taeyong knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold back for much longer, but he loved seeing the worry in your eyes, thinking he might actually go through with that instead. He loved knowing you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.  

“Please fuck me, sir. I’ll be a good kitten. I’ll be your good kitten. Please,” you whined, trying to convince him to give you what you so desperately wanted.  

Taeyong slapped your ass again and you yelped in pain.

“Good kittens don’t beg. Got it?” he growled, but he secretly loved hearing you beg for his cock.

“Yes, sir.”

“You’re a perverted little cockslut who just wants to be fucked by her owner’s cock, don’t you? Say it.”

“I’m a perverted little cockslut who just wants to be FUCK!”

Taeyong had shoved the entirety of his length into you mid sentece and continued thrusting in and out of your tight heat.

“Don’t you dare stop,” He roared as he pounded into you.  

You stuttered trying to complete his command.

“fucked by my owner’s cock!” you screamed out.

“Again!” he spat.

“I’m a perverted ah little ah cockslut who just ah wants to be ah fucked by her ah owner!”

You struggled to speak the words as fucked you mercilessly. You knew that wouldn’t be long before you’d come undone.  

Taeyong grabbed a fistful of your hair and forced you to face the mirror.

“Do you like watching me fuck you Y/N? Do you like seeing how fucked out I make you look?”

It was true, your face was bright red and you had tears welling up in your eyes. If you were wearing mascara, it would surely be running down your cheeks.  Your tits were bouncing so much that they had somehow escaped the top of your nightgown.

“Yes! I like it!” You screamed as you felt your orgasm approaching.

Taeyong could feel that you were about to come because your walls started to tighten around him, and your legs were shaking.  

You couldn’t stop moaning and Taeyong had never heard a sweeter sound.  

The feeling spread from your core throughout your entire body. You couldn’t help but scream out Taeyong’s name, but he didn’t mind the sudden outburst. Your body kept shaking and it felt like you were in another dimension. Taeyong took no mercy on you as he continued his unrelenting thrusts. You didn’t know how much more you could handle. Your orgasms normally only ever lasted a few seconds before you started to feel overstimulated and Taeyong was not letting up in the slightest. Screams poured out your mouth and you couldn’t even attempt to beg him to stop. All your energy was being drained from your body. You felt your eyes rolling into the back of your head as everything faded to black.  

The final vibrations of your walls caused Taeyong to cum as he gave your pussy one last thrust. He breathed heavily as he looked at your limp body, passed out on his desk. He couldn’t help but smile. HE had managed to punish you while still allowing you your release.  

Taeyong lifted your body off of the desk and carried you over to the bed. He when to the bathroom and grabbed a wet. He used the rag to wipe away the cum that spilled down your legs and reminded himself to buy plan b tomorrow when he got the chance.  

He got in the bed with you and lifted up the duvet to cover your bodies. Your sleeping self felt the warm presence lying next to you and instinctively wrapped your arms and legs around it. Taeyong smiled and adjusted himself so your head was resting on his chest. You were finally his.  

[thesierraharvey]

Welcome aboard, SIERRA HARVEY, STUDENT #11. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like DOVE CAMERON? According to our records, you hail from LOS ANGELES, USA, SHE/HER, are CIS FEMALE, and are here to study MUSIC. We also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your MONEY — we won’t tell anyone. During your first few weeks here, other students said you were SWEET, EMPATHETIC, but also RECKLESS. It sounds like you spend most of your time at the ZEN ROOM. Upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a GUITAR brought from home. Hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

Please note all trigger warnings before continuing: mentions of physical abuse, sexual abuse of a minor, alcoholism, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression

P E R S O N A L I T Y

Sierra has always been the sweet girl who cares about others more than she cares about herself. Some think this is a fake persona she puts on and they think this more when they find out she was raised doing pageants. They usually think it’s a kind of show but she really does just care about people’s happiness. She is 100% the type of girl to cry when in an argument and hates being shouted at. In spite of Sierra’s need to make sure everyone is happy, she’s very reckless with herself. She holds a lot of trauma in her head that she doesn’t deal with healthily. If she can look after others, she doesn’t have to look after herself. This makes her quite reckless with things like alcohol because it helps to numb her for a little while. She doesn’t think she has a problem. Sierra is quite a naturally flirty person - whether she means to be or not - and loves physical connection. She loves hugs and feeling close to people. If you have Sierra as a friend, she is undyingly loyal and would always be there for you no matter what. Sierra can be a little naive from time to time and struggles at recognising liars. Overall, she’s a sweet girl with a kind heart but struggles to be kind to herself.

P A S T

Sierra was born on 11th June 1999 to Marie and Michael Harvey. Michael was an oncologist and Marie owned her own dance school. They originally met when Marie was a patient after finding a lump in her breast. Luckily, she could be treated and survived this. The second she was no longer a patient, Michael asked her on a date and they were married within two years to then have Sierra. Marie had a lot of ambition growing up and participated in pageants but as she grew older, she felt she was no longer pretty enough to take part in competitions and ended up opening her own dance school with the money she had made from her crowns. Now that she had a daughter, she could push all of her ambition on to her daughter. She was signing her up for pageants left right and center since she was 5 years old. Although she was pushed in every direction from dancing to baton twirling to gymnastics, the main skills she loved the most was musical instruments and singing. Her early life consisted of a lot of pressure and a lot of travelling to different states to take part in competitions. Her father, however, did his best when she was around to keep up with her education and trying to treat her like a normal child. They’d go to the park, they’d get ice cream. He spotted how much passion she really had for music outside of it being used for competitions that he really invested in her learning music. It was fair to say he was a supportive dad who cared deeply about his daughter while her mother saw her as a way to relive her own youth. In her mother’s eyes, she was an object whether she would admit that or not. 

During her pageant competitions, Sierra did very well. Most often, she was in the top three and won quite a number of crowns and prizes. The few occasions when she wouldn’t be in the top three, her mother would get furious - blaming her, asking her why she couldn’t do more. When I say she would get verbally abusive, I’m not kidding. It rarely got physically abusive but there were the occasional times in her teens where she would get a slap if she didn’t get something right. In a competition when she was 14, it was looking like Sierra wouldn’t make it in to the top and her mother felt like she had to do something to stop her daughter losing. She took Sierra to the dressing room of one of the judges and left her there for the man to do anything he wanted with her. She never spoke about the abuse she suffered there but it was enough to win her the crown which was all her mum cared about. Marie let this happen two more times in the next year. It wasn’t until she came back home to Los Angeles with her mum and a crown in hand that her dad noticed the bruises on her wrists. He’d noticed she’d been a little off over the past few months. She’d snap out of nowhere and hate being touched by anyone. He’d tried his best to get out of her what had happened subtly but when he noticed the bruises, he followed her to her bedroom where she was unpacking and locked the door. Michael sat her down and out right asked her what happened. After a few claims of nothing, he just kept pointing out evidence that gave him the reason to ask until finally Sierra burst in to tears and told him everything. Michael promptly kicked Marie out of the house and got a swift divorce, winning custody of Sierra and getting a restraining order against Marie for both himself and Sierra as well as making sure all the money won from Sierra’s pageants were put in to a savings account for her to access when she was 18 so that Marie could not handle any of the money. He got three different men charged with sexual assault on a minor so they would spend time in jail for what they did to his daughter.

Her dad did everything he could to help Sierra. He got her in to therapy which took multiple sessions for her to open up at all but when she did finally open up, she told them everything. She was officially diagnosed with PTSD and depression. She takes anti-depressants to keep her balanced and for her lack of sleep, she was initially given sleeping pills to make sure she slept however, her nightmares were made worse by the sleeping pills so they had to use alternative forms of therapy to try and help her. Sierra’s main use of therapy was reigniting her true passion for music and writing songs. Another method being meditation and yoga to feel more in control of herself and her body. However, she does keep one method away from her therapist and that is alcohol. She likes the way her body feels loose and numb when she’s drunk as well as the fact she doesn’t worry about anything. It’s how she ended up in the party scene of LA with fake IDs. Her dad wasn’t exactly happy about her being drunk when she was still young but it was getting harder to control her. He understood why she was doing all of this and he was doing his best to lightly stop her. Michael ended up finding a job back in his hometown in (insert Student #4′s location here), he decided to move him and Sierra out there to get her away from the scene she was finding herself in. 

P R E S E N T

Sierra went along with the move and when they were there, she settled a lot more. Michael ended up reconnecting with an old childhood friend and first girlfriend which led to them reigniting their previous love and starting a relationship. Now they are married and merged their two households together giving Sierra a step-sibling around the same age as her. She now has access to her money from her pageant days and has used this money to study music at university which is how she has ended up here. 

[firemblem-fics]

Smitten Kitten [Finale]

one | two | three | four | finale

-> Pairing: Felix x Female!Reader | Hybrid!AU (mostly platonic idk)

-> Warnings: Abuse mentions, Like Two Sex Jokes, Yelling

-> Genre: Angst, Fluff

-> Word Count: 1.6k

-> Summary: You never wanted to be involved with hybrids. They were risky and had too many rules for you. But what will you do when a little black and white cat that you take in turns out to be the very thing you steered clear of?

-> A/N: Okay so the more i wrote this the more i realized it was more platonic than anything and also it barely fucking features felix and i’m just very unhappy with it i suppose ... maybe in the future i’ll rewrite idk i’m really sorry for this i kinda hate it but i’ve been working on it for so long i didn’t want to make people wait longer

Soon, the bell rang once more and you turned your head, finally making eye contact with those red eyes you'd been longing to see for weeks.

"Fe!" You nearly stumbled forward as you rushed towards the hybrid, your heart leaping as you reached out to-

"Don't touch him!"

Karen's shrill voice was like an invisible wall that was keeping you away from Felix. You almost shrunk back as she yelled, but you stood tall. The Hybrid Services needed to see that you were strong and fully capable of taking care of Felix and you were determined to do just that.

You only looked at Felix expectantly. He went to walk over to you, but was stopped with an extremely harsh tug on his leash. He hissed at Doug, who was talking to an HPS officer with a hardened gaze.

Karen, on the other hand, walked coolly up to you. "What's your problem?" She sneered.

"My problem? You're hurting Felix."

"We're just disciplining him," She rolled her eyes, "Sometimes a savage animal needs a few hits to get the rules in their head. Felix plays too many games that we don't feel like dealing with."

"Then why do you keep him?"

"Have you seen the boy? He's gorgeous. He's won multiple awards and thousands of dollars at Hybrid Shows. A bit of pain is worth the prize."

It was your turn to roll your eyes. "He's gorgeous, yeah? Is that why you felt the need to cover his bruises with makeup? I took care of Felix for two months and he never caused any trouble. He was polite, respectful, thoughtful, and never once did he need to be 'punished'. He's not the problem- you are."

"Why you-"

"Mr. and Mrs..." An officer called the couple away from you. He began showing them all of the messages between you and Felix- proof of their wrongs.

You, on the other hand, turned to the cat-boy and finished what you started, throwing your arms around his torso and squeezing him tightly. In return, Felix only stiffened up. He didn't know where to put his hands, choosing to rest them on your shoulders as his chin laid on the crown of your head. You only got a few seconds of alone time before another pair of arms wrapped around the two of you.

"How sweet, a reunion! I'm sniffing out a kiss and some 'I missed you' sex later on- OW!"

Felix's hand went from your shoulder to Sylvain's stomach, stopping him in his sentence. "Go fuck yourself."

"Only if you watch me~"

You laughed, pulling back from the hug and looking over at Ashe, who was now engaged in a conversation with one of the HPS officers. You were more than thankful to have him at your side. Ashe had gone through the same little trial to get custody of Sylvain, so he was more than willing to help you get Felix out of his shitty situation as well.

Ashe had explained to you how Hybrid cases worked. Evidence would be presented to officers or a Hybrid Facilitator, such as Nancy, and they would make the call as to what happens next. You would be presenting evidence of Karen and Doug’s abuse to them and asking for Felix to be placed in your care. Lucky for you, Felix could speak on your behalf as well since he had stayed with you for two months.

You were scared. Felix was a big boy. He hid his emotions and stayed strong throughout the shit that his owners put him through, but even the strongest people have their limits. Unfortunately for you, Felix was still a hybrid. Legally considered an animal and treated as even less.

You couldn’t give him the freedom that he deserved, but you would try your damn hardest to give him a happy life.

You nearly teared up thinking about it and Felix must have noticed, for amidst his and Sylvain’s bickering he subtly placed his hand on the small of your back. It stayed there when the officers gathered everyone together, letting both sides present their cases. You spoke first.

“Two months ago, I found a little black and white cat in a dumpster. He was cold, hungry, and unhappy. I took him in and learned later on that he was Felix. Felix stayed with me for two months. I was under the presumption that he was kicked out of his old home- that was what he had told me, anyways.” That earned you a glare from the man beside you. “But I sheltered him for about two months, waiting for someone to come looking for him. They never did, so I took him here to get some papers filled out and make him legally… mine.”

You spat out the last word. God, did you hate the idea of having a human as a pet. Felix’s thumb brushed your back again, providing you with his own quiet form of comfort and amping you up to continue.

“I came, got some papers, and left. I should have known that he would have had papers under Doug and Karen’s name, but since I believed that they no longer wanted him, I went ahead and took ownership. Then they came up to my door later that day and took him. He had actually run away from them.

Felix put up a fight at first- he didn’t want to go. I gave him Sylvain, the other hybrid’s, phone so that he could still message me if he needed anything. The minute he left, he sent me a voice recording of those two screaming at him in the car. Since then, all of those messages had been sent as evidence that Karen and Doug have threatened him and harmed him emotionally, verbally, and physically. I want Felix to stay with me. They called him a behavioral issue, but I know how to treat him. I’ve never had an issue with him. Ever. I want full ownership of Felix Hugo Fraldarius.”

Nancy nodded and pointed to the couple, who were fuming on the other side of the room. Karen practically stormed up to Nancy and the officers, her face redder than Sylvain’s hair and voice more annoying than Sylvain himself.

“She obviously stole Felix from us!”

“What the fuck?” Said hybrid suddenly interrupted. An officer shushed him and motioned for Karen to continue.

“Felix is an award-winning, purebred Fraldarius tuxedo cat. He’s won thousands of dollars in prize money and trophies and awards, so of course a lower class girl like her would want such a high end Hybrid. He would win her money. She could have easily turned him into the facility, but she didn’t, so she stole him from us!”’

Karen had a point- you should have turned Felix in, but you couldn’t. The little cat had wormed his way into your heart more and more every day- even if he was kind of an ass in the beginning.

He still is an ass, but a little less now. You knew that when his arm moved from your back to around your shoulders, thumb now soothing the skin there.

“Wh- I didn’t even know he was a show cat until you two showed up and told me!” You defended. His hand gripped tighter as if already trying to hold you back. You were rather ready to tear this lady to shreds, honestly, so he was helping.

“You’re such a little liar- and those videos, too! They’re obviously fake. You don’t deserve Felix, you deserve to be jailed for stealing our precious prize!”

“Prize?! You don’t even see him as a real being with feelings and emotions or anything! Look-“ You suddenly licked your thumb, turning around and swiping underneath Felix’s eye. “He’s got bruises that you gave him and hid. Your face and fist are in that video. I’ve got selfies I took of him and I when he was in my care- there are no injuries, so they obviously happened in your care.”

“And how do they know you didn’t use makeup to hide the bruises you gave him?” Karen accused. God, she really was going the extra mile here. “Listen, little bitch, Felix is ours and he will be if I have to pry it from your little dead fingers.”

“You won’t lay a hand on her.” Felix speaks up. He turns to Nancy and sighs. “I wasn’t going to say anything because my pride heavily prevented me, but I am afraid of Karen and Doug. They have abused me in the last few years that I’ve been in their care and I can’t do it anymore. I can recount every single instance where they have harmed me and I will gladly do it if it means I can get the hell away from them and go with people who actually treat me well.” His face stayed straight as he spoke, his eyes hardened in a desperate attempt to show everyone how he wasn’t affected. Felix never was one to show his feelings- you were proud that he did this.

The officers, who had stayed silent for the entire time, looked at each other.

One sighed and spoke up. “You two are under arrest for Hybrid cruelty and will be investigated further and punished as charged.” He turned to you, “Do you mind if we keep the phone for a while to extract evidence?”

“I mind-“

“Not at all.” You cut off Sylvain, “He can go a little longer without his phone. He needs to go longer.”

The officer thanked you and led the two away, nearly kicking and screaming.

Nancy watched as they left, typing some things into her computer before standing up. “If any of you can follow me to the back, I need to put the proper information on a new collar tag.”

Ashe volunteered and dragged Sylvain back with him, leaving you and Felix alone at the front. You turned back to him and slipped your arms around his waist once more. Felix looked around, making sure nobody was near before holding you back properly this time. A purr erupted from his throat- quiet, but soothing as your ear was pressed against his chest.

“You’re coming home, Fe.”

“I’m already home right here with you.”

[champagnecall]

OKAY I was encouraged to post this so I’m gonna <3 

This is just a pretty in detail character study of my portrayal of Hifumi following the latest drama track nobody has to read it or anything! It’s going under a read more due to content warnings for abuse mentions, depression, panic attacks, and suicidal ideation so please be careful when reading !!!

So in the latest drama track we got to see Hifumi’s abuser - who we met in a previous limited edition drama track, though wasn’t 100% confirmed to be his abuser - up close and personal. I’m going to focus mostly on the Hifumi aspects of this track - but I’ll be mentioning the other two members of Matenrō as well due to the relation they have to how Honobono got to Hifumi.

Before this track released we knew very little about how Hifumi functioned with his trauma. We know that he developed his gynophobia in high school - at the very least eleven years before the canon point in the series - and that at twenty years old he became a host to try and get over his phobia.

Becoming a host is what pushed him into creating his host persona via auto-suggestion, as it has been canonically stated that he does not have Dissociative Identity Disorder. The manga artist has drawn a panel with Hifumi’s personalities and their titles - being “Host” ( also commonly called GIGOLO off his MC Name ), “Hifumin”, and “Open Up”. But prior to this drawing, the three personalities were often just split into “Host” “Hifumin” “Phobia”.

So Hifumi has a strong motif of thirds being played into his character. His name is composed of the kanji for 1-2-3 and GIGOLO is actually a pun on that, being “Shi-gi-ro” or more simply...4-5-6. 

This is a sort of both clever and self deprecating play on Hifumi’s part. He has a lot of issues that were very subtly hinted at throughout canon up until this drama track, being that he dislikes who he is without his jacket because he views himself as weak because of his phobia. He doesn’t want to be afraid of women - he wants to interact with them freely - but he doesn’t have control over the events that traumatized him nor does he fully understand why what happened to him happened.

In this track, though, and both of the new songs on this album Hifumi is in, he outright says these things.

“When in despair there is always a desire to be saved / Black darkness and iron bars, a shortage of adrenaline / The world I see is different than what everyone else sees”

“D-Doppo.. I-It’s hopeless... I’m a weak human being.., I... I couldn’t do anything...!”

“I have a phobia that makes my mentality like that of tofu / But when I put on my suit, that of course changes it all”

“Standing aloof, dropping down to sit, even when I’m emotionally unstable / Don’t turn away, get the evidence with your words / But even though the day might be cold and I can’t lend it to you yet, / One day I’d like to gently place this suit jacket over you”

Not to mention, previous lyrics of his combined with what we have now...

“Are you going to stay by my side / Even after knowing my past? / Drunkeness arriving on champagne / Stopping your mouth / Our eyes meeting at length by chance / Can you see the real me?”

“If my spell comes undone / I won't be able to see you again”

“Sorry for being born with all this / With nervousness and panic / My heart won't stop beating fast, my kitten / It'll be fine, come here I'll be all yours until morning”

“Now, sexy girl / Smash my sense of values to pieces / 10,000,000 yen /  100,000,000 yen / 1,000,000,000 yen / 10,000,000,000 yen / I'll give you something that you can't buy with money”

“A spirit that's different from the others / Drawing eyes from all around town / But I don't do relationships / Somewhere, sometime, I want to meet you I want to take off my jacket / So we could love each other mutually / A battle with my past self / I'll end it with a victory... my sorrow”

“With my magic, I'll make your pain disappear / Don't stop the party / I'll stay like this, I won't leave you”

“No pain, no suffering, no worries / I'll make them all disappear, come closer / From heart to body to pores / I'll let you do as you like, so come here / It'll be fine, come closer / I'll envelop everything / And one day, I want to be enveloped too”

Hifumi is a character who tends to objectify himself due to his career. He speaks about people smashing away his sense of values, listing off prices people can purchase his attention for, saying that he’ll let people do whatever they want to him. He sees his host personality as someone who is better than who he is on his own - someone of a greater value, which leads into that pun with 123 being his actual name and 456 being his MC Name and the name people tend to use for his host persona.

When facing Honobono again for the first time since she initially traumatized him - he crumbles out of this persona. The personality he learned to shift into through extreme auto-suggestion as a protective mechanism breaks.

At first, Hifumi is able to hold himself together, despite being on the verge of a panic attack. It’s mentioned that he looks pale, the listener can hear his labored breathing and his hesitation, but his defensive mechanism is working...

Until the following exchange:

Honobono: I came here to see a friend, do I need a reason?

Hifumi: Were friends, if you’re mistaken. All those things you did... 

Honobono: “Those things”? What were they? They were so long ago that I can’t remember~ Ah! Now I sort of remember! But there’s so many things that I can’t grasp too well. Was it about your mother? Or about your sister’s case? Ah right, right! Or maybe even about your case at school!

It’s here Hifumi’s breathing becomes extremely labored until he actually starts screaming. It’s implied he falls over, as the sound of shattering glass alongside a thud follows his screaming all behind the sound of Honobono’s laughter.

Hifumi’s voice changes depending on the personality he’s fronting - going from “Boku” for “Host” and “Orecchi” for “Hifumin” ( more recently we discovered he very rarely uses “Ore” when he lets just his true personality “Open Up” front )

So it’s here that was a shock where Hifumi says “Boku wa...” and then immediately shifts the tone of his voice to his natural one and cries out “Orecchi wa...” signaling that for the first time we’ve ever witnessed it in canon...Hifumi’s suit failed to protect him from his phobia and his protective personality melted away, despite the suit jacket he wears in order to shift personalities still being worn by him.

Whatever Honobono did to him, his mother, and his sister - it was enough to give him a panic attack so bad that the defensive mechanism he developed and has been routinely using nine years prior to this point was broken away from him. Hifumi spends nearly the rest of the drama track - which is around 9~11 minutes - in a screaming, crying panic attack where he sounds like he’s in genuine physical pain, even as all of his pain is just psychological here.

We don’t know what she did to him in high school - and this mention of his mother and his older sister was the first time Hifumi’s family had ever been brought up. But whatever these events were, it was enough to drive him into the most severe panic attack we have ever seen him have - making it all the more extreme that it’s happening in the personality he developed in order to protect himself from his phobia and his anxiety.

It’s here that Doppo is able to enter - which Honobono had purposely tried to keep him occupied by pulling some strings to get him fired - and says the following:

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM?! He went through SO much hell during that time! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE HAD TO DO TO OVERCOME THESE PROBLEMS? LIKE YOU WOULD KNOW ANYTHING!!

Hifumi has all too casually dropped a few comments that lead to one assuming that he had mentally hit rock bottom with his depression and anxiety that came out of his phobia developing. He has a line about how even if living is the harder answer in the end, it’s the option you have to chose. Lines about “sinking into the sea of despair”, never really showing fear about the prospect of dying / being killed ( he always puts himself in harms way for other people - pushing away a stalker that was charging Doppo with a knife even if it meant he could get stabbed again ( he had already been stabbed by her on his arm because he moved just enough out of the way when she tried to kill him ), catching the same stalker when she tried to commit suicide and falling out of the window in her attempt with her and turning them over midair so he’d be the one to hit the ground instead, and putting himself in front of Honobono and Doppo when she was threatening him ).

Hifumi also has a lot of lines, however, about valuing his life. He sees his life as something that’s important, he stands up for other people; he pushes people to see the value in their own lives as well.

All of these things combined have led a lot of people, including myself, to believe that in that period between the event that triggered his gynophobia and when he developed his host personality that he did go through a period where he was suicidal - and canonically we know that at the very least, he was severely depressed during this period. 

I still don’t have any head canons or theories on what I think happened to him and his family - but I have a lot of things relating to that that I’m going to continue on with below because it plays heavily into my portrayal of Hifumi.

I think that he was extremely close with his mother and his older sister, and likely had an absent father. I feel like his sister was probably a few years older than him and helped to raise him in part, since his mother would have needed to work to take care of both of her children. I think he probably learned a lot of the things he still enjoys today - sewing, cooking, knitting, etc... - from his mother and his sister both due to an interest in it and a desire to help out around the house.

Whatever happened to his mother and his sister I feel like had to have such a massive impact on him, for the mention of them alongside whatever Honobono did to him in high school being enough to trigger the most severe panic attack he’s had to date, as well as feeding into the roots of his gynophobia. Thus, I really do think he was incredibly close with them.

Hifumi is also someone who seems to struggle a lot with his identity. He’s split his personality into thirds and rarely lets people in to see the real him - someone he isn’t really sure who they are anymore - being that the only time we see that real version of him is in the privacy of his own home around Jakurai and Doppo.

A lot of people agree with me on the fact that he seems to radiate some kind of Gender energy which is nice to see! I do genuinely think Hifumi is a character who struggles with his gender identity. I’m not sure what identity I think fits him, but I’m not sure he really knows either since I feel like his phobia is kind of drawing him back from exploring that properly. Same with his sexuality - given that he has been seen freely flirting with men but vocalizing his desire to freely do the same with women.

Hifumi is a character with a lot of layers but in the end I think he just really struggles with that sense of “self”. He doesn’t know who he is anymore because in all of his struggles to get over his hurt - he left himself behind and walked out as a stranger to his own mind. He’s great at hiding the fact that he struggles with this - that he struggles at all - but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t hurt. I think he’s very much a “if I ignore my problems they won’t bother me” kind of person but he can’t...hide that from the people that really and truly know him either.

He can’t hide it from himself, either, even if he doesn’t know who he’s looking for inside himself anymore.

[yamayamawrites]

Like Friends Do - TodoDeku

A/N: Hi friends! Recently, since my sisters and I are finally under the same roof again (due to quarantine), we sat down and watched My Hero Academia together. As a result, I now have another fandom that I couldn’t bear to go without writing for. I’m looking for constructive criticism from anyone who’s willing to offer it to me! I’m not as confident writing for this fandom just yet, but I really want to get better. So, if you have some time and are also in TodoDeku hell like I’ve found myself in, please take a minute to read through this and tell me what you think! It would mean a whole lot to me!

Summary: Neither Todoroki nor Midoriya truly knows what friendship means. Todoroki ignored friendships in middle school in favor of developing his Quirk; Midoriya couldn’t seem to find a friend because he was Quirkless. When they find a similarity in each other, they form a special bond - one that might just overstep what one considers “friendship”. 

Todoroki had never been the “friendly” type, and of that he was certain. At least, he had been certain, until his duel with Midoriya during the sports festival.

Something about Midoriya’s ability to penetrate years of psychological abuse regarding his feelings towards his left side left Todoroki in awe. After all, he hardly knew Midoriya as anyone more than the kid in class who scored lowest on their very first test of abilities before the event, or the kid who jumped out to save All Might when the League of Villains first attacked. And then, Midoriya went and blew both him and Bakugo away in the first trial of the games in order to take the lead. That grabbed Todoroki’s attention more than anything; while he knew Midoriya was not the best at using his quirk, he had the most heroic mindset of anyone Todoroki knew – besides All Might.

He supposed it surprised him that following the sports festival, battered and all, Midoriya made an effort to talk to Todoroki, the way Todoroki assumed friends did. It started simply enough – Midoriya sat next to him at lunch, and soon after Todoroki became comfortable with Midoriya, Ochaco and Iida were sitting with them, too. Sometimes Todoroki felt uncomfortable surrounded by that many people, but then Midoriya would say something just for him, ask him if he was okay or if he needed some time alone, and everything felt alright.

Except sometimes that left an uneasy feeling in Todoroki’s stomach. He’d been trained by his old man, Endeavor, to be cold and distant and instead focus on developing his Quirk. Midoriya’s friendship sometimes felt intruding and intimidating, and sometimes even terrifying, with the way Midoriya read him like an open book.

But then Todoroki noticed that it had nothing to do with him; it was just Midoriya. Despite his powerful Quirk, sometimes Todoroki wondered if Midoriya really possessed the ability to read minds, or if he’d just developed a sixth sense for catching onto people’s emotions.

Todoroki noticed this one day when Iida came to class exactly two minutes and twenty seconds late. Todoroki could tell something was different about him, but he assumed maybe Iida had forgotten to brush his hair or something. Later at lunch, he saw Midoriya pull Iida aside in the lunch line. “Hey, I noticed you’re looking pretty sore,” he had said, passing Iida a pill bottle. “I had some painkillers in my bag from Recovery Girl.”

“I thought I hid it well,” Iida sighed. “I can’t look weak – I’m the Class Representative!”

“Oh—it’s not like that,” Midoriya shook his head. “You hid it really well! I just recognized that you were relying more on your right leg when you walk, and I remember you got hit on your left side yesterday…” he rubbed his neck sheepishly, and Iida chuckled and patted him on the shoulder.

“Thank you, Midoriya.”

Todoroki almost asked, a few times, how Midoriya did that. One time his sister had the flu and Todoroki didn’t even notice until she got up and fainted on her way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Up until that point, he had assumed she was just…hot. Overheating? Did she do that, too? Todoroki supposed he never bothered to ask.

All of this is to say that Todoroki eased up around Midoriya, especially after they moved into the dorms. In such close proximity to Midoriya, to everyone, really, Todoroki got a bit anxious. He thought of times when he had nightmares as a child and woke up because his room had frozen over, or worse, his bed had caught fire. That hadn’t happened in years, but Todoroki feared it might come back just to haunt him. But whenever Todoroki’s mind began to spiral about all the dangerous situations he could put Midoriya in, Midoriya would always grip his shoulder. Subtly. Never for too long, and never noticeably enough that anyone would call them out for it. Midoriya somehow knew just how to soothe Todoroki – and that would have scared Todoroki early on in their friendship, but at that point it didn’t.

Shoulder grabs turned into more casual shoulder nudges. Just a little moment that Todoroki and Midoriya shared, like a quick message to one another to say “Are you doing alright?” or “I’m thinking about you.” The shoulder nudges had at first been meant to replace the shoulder grips, but it became easier and easier for Todoroki to lean over and nudge Midoriya, or for Midoriya to nudge Todoroki to ask if he was alright. It turned into their own little language at some point, because the two began to mutually understand that longer touches meant something was wrong, and if the other touched their fingers, they needed to get out of there.

This was especially efficient one night when Midoriya and Todoroki decided to take a short walk after class. The sun was setting and usually they’d be required to be home before dinner, but Midoriya had told All Might that he and Todoroki were doing a bit of extra training and of course All Might supported their efforts to becoming heroes. Midoriya felt extremely guilty, but technically he wasn’t lying; he was sure heroes had to go on walks sometimes and unwind. They were training for that part of heroism.

Todoroki nudged his shoulder. “You look like you’re going to be sick, Midoriya,” he said. “We can turn back if you want to.”

“No,” Midoriya shook his head. “I’ll just explain when we get back. You told me you needed to talk about something.”

That was true – Todoroki had asked Midoriya earlier that day to accompany him because he had a few questions about heroism. At least, that was how he kept his nerves from getting the better of him while he waited for the moment to arrive when they’d be far enough away from campus that Todoroki wouldn’t be scared to actually talk to Midoriya. After all, Midoriya knew little to nothing about Todoroki’s past besides the whole “my old man is a scum bag” bit. Todoroki never really told Midoriya why Endeavor was so cruel, not fully, but he didn’t need to. Any time he mentioned Endeavor, Midoriya immediately scowled that way Midoriya does (which is, to say, his face contorted in a way that was meant to seem intimidating and angry, but Todoroki just found it…cute).

While they walked away from the campus, Todoroki and Midoriya talked mostly about their classes earlier that day. They had done a training exercise in which the class was divided based on Quirk types, and Midoriya and Todoroki had spent a majority of the afternoon separated from one another. Todoroki would have been lying if he said it didn’t make him nervous spending so much time away from Midoriya. He brushed it off as being worried for his classmate that somehow always found himself in Recovery Girl’s office after trainings such as these.

Actually, Todoroki decided to venture straight to Recovery Girl’s office once classes finished for the day. He was surprised to find that Midoriya stood next to Todoroki’s locker, patiently waiting for him, with no bandaged limbs and no prominent wounds. Midoriya’s face lit up with a smile once he saw Todoroki, and he waved and they left and now they were here, just past the boundaries of the Yuuei campus.

“…and Kirishima almost got me!” Midoriya said with an exasperated sigh, flailing his hands and sometimes his feet to act out the events of their training earlier that afternoon. “His Quirk is super strong! I tried to kick him but he didn’t even flinch! And then Mineta did—well, something, I didn’t really see. But then my feet were stuck to the ground!”

Midoriya always spoke with an excitement that would normally drain Todoroki. But he had gotten used to it, and he found it rather endearing now to listen to Midoriya go into incredible detail about the battles they fought – whether they were in his work study or at the school. A smile unknowingly crept to his face and Midoriya immediately put a finger up to Todoroki’s lips, grinning himself. “You must have had a good training session, too,” Midoriya teased. “Did Kacchan try to blow you up?”

“Of course he did,” Todoroki muttered, and Midoriya laughed a bit.

“Of course he did,” Midoriya repeated.

Midoriya went back to describing their training session, speaking highly of each of his classmates as he did. Todoroki supposed Midoriya knew more than anyone how hard it was to earn a spot at Yuuei, so he often made a point to brag about his classmates’ abilities anywhere he could. Todoroki often got embarrassed when Midoriya bragged about him, because never did Midoriya brag about the awesome Quirk he had—he knew that was a touchy subject—but rather Todoroki’s control, Todoroki’s strength, Todoroki’s knowledge. It was like receiving the praise Todoroki never got as a child, like validation for all the years of intense studying and physical training.

They reached a bridge stretching over a creek just as Midoriya began to describe how cool Iida’s use of his Quirk had been. Midoriya sat down and let his legs hang from the side of the bridge, and Todoroki soon followed suit. They sat shoulder to shoulder, as they usually did when they got the chance, and continued to chat about the previous school day. Midoriya could tell Todoroki wanted to talk about something, so he wrapped up his thoughts and waited patiently for Todoroki to find his voice.

“Um,” Todoroki said after a few moments of silence, “Midoriya—”

Both of them heard a splash come from behind them in the creak. Out of habit Todoroki nudged Midoriya’s shoulder, tapping on his fingertips, a feeling of dread and nervousness that they’d been followed looming over him. He wondered if this would be it, if the league of villains had found two of the best heroes in Class 1-A, if they were able to catch them so off-guard—

But then there was crying, a small child, and they both whipped their heads around quickly. A young boy stood at the edge of the stream, screaming, while an even younger girl drifted down the creek, head submerged. “Shit,” Todoroki whispered, quickly throwing his hand up and creating a wall of ice to stop the child from floating further downstream. “Midoriya!”

Midoriya had already thrown himself over the railing of the bridge, falling into the water below just in front of the ice wall Todoroki had made. Todoroki’s Quirk made the water much colder than it already was (which, during the early spring, was quite cold in and of itself). He bit his tongue to keep his teeth from chattering as he scooped up the young girl, using the strength in his legs to boost them out of the water and back towards the boy at the edge of the bank.

Todoroki met them there after dismantling the ice wall. The ice floated down the creek unceremoniously as Midoriya knelt next to the children. “What happened?” he asked the young boy, speaking as gently as possible. Todoroki always let Midoriya do this part (in the very few instances they’d used their Quirks outside of class).

The young boy sniffled, trying to quell his tears. “W-we just were playing tag! And s-she fell!”

The young girl’s teeth chattered, and Todoroki took off his school jacket to wrap around her shoulders. “Everything is okay now,” Midoriya assured. “Let’s walk you home, okay?”

The kids’ home was a few blocks away. When they arrived, the children’s mother (Midoriya presumed, anyway) delivered a scolding to them. “What do you tell these nice gentlemen?” she said finally, after reminding them for the third time that they were specifically told not to play by the creek.

“Thank you!” both the children chirped, seemingly missing their mother’s entire message. The mother removed Todoroki’s jacket from the young girl’s shoulders and replaced it with a towel. Meanwhile, Midoriya found it much harder to hide the fact that his teeth were chattering.

“Young man, do you want to come in and towel off?” the woman asked once her children went back to running around the small home. Midoriya shook his head and smiled.

“Our school is just a few blocks from here. I’ll be alright. Thank you very much.”

“Thank you,” she replied quickly. “I don’t even want to know what would have happened if you weren’t there.”

“Good thing we were,” Todoroki murmured quietly.

After having to decline payment—several times—Todoroki and Midoriya made their way back toward the school campus. Midoriya’s teeth chattered openly now, and almost immediately after they left the woman’s house Todoroki threw his jacket over Midoriya’s shoulders. He kept his left side pressed up against him, his mind so preoccupied on keeping a stable temperature that he nearly missed when Midoriya uttered a soft, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Todoroki asked, bewildered, the heat in his side dying quickly.

“Throwing up that ice wall,” Midoriya replied with a grin. “If she would’ve slipped past me, then I don’t know how long it would have taken me to get to her.”

“Oh, but she didn’t slip past you,” Todoroki pointed out. He honestly felt like he hadn’t done much in the situation.

“But you were there if she did,” Midoriya grinned up at him, and Todoroki felt his chest flutter. His cheeks dusted pink and Midoriya laughed cheerfully, nudging him with his shoulder. “We make a good team, don’t you think?”

“I could have told you that,” Todoroki scoffed.

Midoriya’s teeth didn’t chatter so openly when he carefully wrapped his arms around Todoroki’s left arm. The feeling immediately made Todoroki’s entire left side heat up, and Midoriya could see some steam rising from the cold water coating him, but he didn’t let go. Todoroki regulated the heat quickly, apologizing several times (“But you didn’t even burn me,” Midoriya argued). That was how they presented themselves as they walked back through the doors to the Class 1-A dorm – Midoriya clinging to Todoroki’s arm, Todoroki concentrating all his attention on making sure he didn’t spontaneously ignite. Todoroki wore a bright pink blush, both from concentration and from having Midoriya cling to him like a lifeline.

Someone whistled when they walked in. All Might looked up from the couch and immediately rose to his feet, approaching the two. “You were training, huh?” All Might asked, eyeing Midoriya up and down. Under All Might’s gaze Midoriya let go of Todoroki and crossed his arms over his chest in defense.

“Well…”

“A child fell in the creek,” Todoroki said quickly. “We were on our way to go train, but…”

All Might shrugged. “Well, I’m glad you were there, then. Go take a bath, Young Midoriya. You look pretty cold.”

“Y-yes sir!” Midoriya bowed quickly, taking off toward the baths without a second thought. The group soon lost interest in the exchange and so did All Might, leaving Todoroki to return to his room.

Todoroki’s mind reeled thinking about Midoriya again. He’d acted on pure instinct, had already launched himself into the water before Todoroki could even act. Did he have that much faith in Todoroki? Did he have that much faith in himself? Todoroki began to imagine what would have happened if he wasn’t there. Sure, he hadn’t done much to actually help the child, but would Midoriya have gotten sick without him there to keep him warm temporarily on the walk back?

Todoroki blushed suddenly, remembering the feeling of Midoriya pressed against him. Suddenly his mind was stuck on that detail of the day, like a broken record. He’d thrown himself onto his bed and had been lounging there for maybe ten minutes, still deep in thought, when his phone went off. He squinted at the bright screen and saw that Midoriya had texted him. Four times.

M: hey uh, this is embarrassing

M: but my clothes are still wet

M: and well I don’t have anything to wear

M: please help I don’t want to run through the dorms naked!!!

Todoroki snickered silently at the message (the closest he’d ever gotten to laughing, he thought) and stood and stretched. He wondered if Midoriya meant for Todoroki to grab clothes from his room, or if Todoroki should just take a set of his pajamas. While he wavered on whether or not to supply Midoriya with a set of his own clothes (the thought of Midoriya in Todoroki’s pajamas made his chest feel tight for some reason), Midoriya texted him another two times.

M: please Todoroki! I’m getting cold :(

M: omg are you sleeping? Sorry I’ll ask Iida!

Todoroki thought absently that, if he had been sleeping, his phone would have certainly woken him up. He sent a quick text back to Midoriya saying he’d be down in a second, to which Midoriya responded with seventeen smiley-face emojis, and grabbed a set of old pajamas from his room.

When Todoroki walked into the locker room, he found Midoriya on a bench – wearing only a towel. Something about that flustered Todoroki; despite having all changed together in the same locker room plenty of times to prepare for trainings and such, Todoroki felt a sort of embarrassment walking in to just Midoriya. He supposed some of the embarrassment could have been a result of his blatant overthinking of Midoriya clinging to his arm just an hour or so prior.

He cleared his throat and Midoriya whipped his head around and smiled, his cheeks flushed from the steam of the bath and his hair clinging to his cheeks. “Thank you thank you thank you!” Midoriya chirped, bounding across the room to grab the set of clothes. He eyed them suspiciously, and if Todoroki didn’t know any better, he might have thought Midoriya’s cheeks grew even pinker.

“What’s the problem?” Todoroki asked finally.

“I thought you’d bring my clothes, is all,” Midoriya laughed and rubbed his neck nervously. “Thank you all the same! I’ll get these back to you as soon—”

“Keep them,” Todoroki said with a shrug. “They don’t fit me anymore, anyways.”

A laugh bubbled out of Midoriya’s mouth, almost nervously, as Todoroki turned to leave. “Oh, Todoroki?” Midoriya called just as he pushed open the door.

Todoroki turned around again. “Yes, Midoriya?”

“Thank you again. This means a lot!”

By then, Midoriya had the pajamas on, and Todoroki flustered. His chest felt tight and his cheeks grew hot as he observed the way his clothes were just one size too big on his smaller friend. The tee shirt Todoroki had grabbed hung just far enough off Midoriya’s neck for his collarbone to peek out, and Midoriya had rolled the shorts once to keep them from falling down. Stop it, Todoroki thought, he’s going to notice you staring.

“They’re a little big,” Midoriya admitted sheepishly under Todoroki’s gaze, “but I might grow into them someday.”

“Maybe,” Todoroki said with just a hint of a smile. He turned away and left, then, trying to use his right hand to cool off his cheeks.

***

A number of times in the weeks that followed Todoroki and Midoriya’s impromptu child rescue mission Todoroki felt that same strange (albeit not entirely unwelcome) feeling. One day while Todoroki and Midoriya were studying in Midoriya’s room, Midoriya let a pencil hang out of his mouth while he puzzled together the English homework they were working on. Todoroki stared for a moment, his chest feeling like it might implode, before he finally reached over and plucked the pencil from Midoriya’s mouth. “Hey!” Midoriya had said, trying to mask a giggle with a hurt expression. Todoroki fought back a smile.

During their lunch break another day, Midoriya, Iida, and Ochaco invited Todoroki with them to eat outside near the dorm area. Iida and Ochaco gladly led the way, arguing about some television show that Todoroki had never heard of. Midoriya and Todoroki walked a few paces behind them, bumping shoulders every so often. “Right, Midoriya?” Ochaco interrupted her and Iida’s conversation to turn around and gain some sort of validation from him. However, Todoroki could tell that Midoriya was just as lost as he was, and the flustered sputtering that followed made Ochaco and Iida laugh, and it made Todoroki want to melt into a puddle. It must have been a little obvious, because seconds later Midoriya asked, “Todoroki, why are you steaming?!”

Those weren’t even the worst of it. Todoroki began to lose track of how many times Midoriya caused Todoroki to feel that strange weight in his chest. Though, he couldn’t say he despised the feeling. Not truthfully, anyway. Something about it felt warm, but not in the same way that his left side felt warm when he used his Quirk. That warm was sweltering and dangerous, but this warm felt more like a weighted blanket that laid just across his chest, almost…comforting.

He finally decided that the feeling was nothing more than that of a reminder of how much Todoroki cared about Midoriya, as a friend. If Todoroki was being honest with himself, he’d never really experienced friendship before Midoriya, so the most logical conclusion he could draw was that this was how all good friendships were. That didn’t stop Todoroki’s need to bump shoulders with Midoriya every chance he could, but Todoroki passed that off as friendship, too.

He assumed Midoriya felt the same, knowing a small bit of Midoriya’s past. He recalled one night that they were studying alone in the common area, both bent over the same book in awkward positions to each be able to read it. Their shoulders touched every time one of them shifted, and neither of them said a word about it – that felt natural, at least to them. And Midoriya had broken the silence as they tried to work through a mathematics problem in their heads by snapping the book shut and groaning up at the ceiling, flopping backwards.

“I’m never going to need this again,” he mumbled to himself. “Why do I need to learn it?”

Todoroki shrugged. “Maybe you’ll meet a villain whose Quirk is calculus?”

Midoriya laughed, but Todoroki hadn’t entirely meant to joke. He knew a variety of people with intelligence-based Quirks, and to him a calculus Quirk wasn’t impossible. Abnormal, certainly, but not impossible. He supposed it did sound sort of silly, and let out a small chuckle.

Midoriya looked up at him from the floor, wearing a soft blush across his cheeks from laughing. “Do you know anyone with a calculus Quirk? Maybe you could call them and ask them for help.”

Todoroki looked down at him curiously, then glanced away. “No, but it’s not impossible.”

“I guess you’re right. I was hoping you had someone in mind, though, so I didn’t have to keep worrying about this.”

Todoroki finally laid down next to him, letting their shoulders press together as they stared at the ceiling. Midoriya turned his head, and instinctively Todoroki turned his own, and their noses brushed together, making both of them blush. Midoriya didn’t move, but Todoroki sat up quickly, that heavy feeling in his chest growing stronger and a bit uncomfortable. He wondered if Midoriya felt it, too.

“Todoroki,” Midoriya began cautiously, “what was middle school like for you?”

“That’s a bizarre question,” Todoroki said idly, breathing slowly to lift that warm weight from his chest.

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“I didn’t really talk to anyone,” Todoroki cut him off, leaning back on his elbows and looking back to the ceiling. “Nobody wanted to talk to me, and I wasn’t about to go out of my way to talk to them.”

“Oh.”

Todoroki could hear Midoriya fidgeting, and then he felt Midoriya’s shoulder against his own once more. “I didn’t really have any friends, either,” Midoriya continued in a soft voice. “Except Kacchan, but I don’t think you could really call that friendship. He was just my neighbor, and we spent a lot of time together as kids.”

Somehow Todoroki couldn’t imagine a universe in which Midoriya didn’t have friends. Everyone in Class 1-A had looked up to Midoriya at one point or another because of his kind heart, and Todoroki felt a pang of anger thinking about anyone who didn’t appreciate that. He already had his eye out for Bakugo and would, if it came down to it, freeze him to the ground to keep him from coming at Midoriya (and actually did, one time, and immediately got scolded by Aizawa for using his Quirk so recklessly in the school hallway).

“Why?” Todoroki asked finally, almost to himself, but with him sitting in such close proximity with Midoriya of course the other heard him.

“I was a really late bloomer,” Midoriya said sheepishly. “It’s easy to pick on the Quirkless kid, or whatever.” He sighed then, shaking his head. “Sometimes I wonder if that’s the only reason I have friends now.”

“Absurd,” Todoroki scoffed immediately. Midoriya looked over at him with wide eyes.

“You don’t think so?”

“I’m not friends with you because you can punch and kick super hard,” he deadpanned.

“Well, why are you?”

Todoroki had a hard time thinking of all the reasons he enjoyed Midoriya’s company, and perhaps Midoriya took Todoroki’s hesitation to answer the question the wrong way when he laughed, a little bitterly, and stood up. “It’s getting late. I should probably head up to my room…”

“You were the first person to care about me,” Todoroki said finally. He supposed that encompassed a lot of the reasons he loved having Midoriya around so much. And it was entirely true; others in Class 1-A may have chatted with Todoroki before he and Midoriya faced off at the sports festival, but none of them seemed to actually care about Todoroki’s well-being. With Midoriya, it felt like Todoroki was the only thing in the world that the boy cared about whenever they were together.

The way Midoriya’s face lit up, cheeks flushed bright pink, made Todoroki think maybe he’d overstepped. He felt a little like maybe he should have been embarrassed, but he held his ground, because it was true. If it was an embarrassing thing to say, well, he didn’t care; Midoriya deserved to know just how much Todoroki appreciated him.

“Wh-what do you mean?” Midoriya squeaked, that cute stuttering mess beginning to poke through.

“Exactly what I said,” Todoroki replied. “Before you, nobody spent time with me because they cared about me. You make me feel like you care.”

“Because I do!” Midoriya said quickly, nodding his head for emphasis. “I care so much about you! And Iida, and Ochaco, and Kacchan—”

They were interrupted as Aizawa came into the room, half-stumbling with sleep, his eyes still piercing and frightening even in his groggy state. “Go to bed,” he grumbled, making his way to the kitchen.

“R-right! Sorry, sir!” Midoriya bowed apologetically as Todoroki pushed himself off the ground. They walked to the elevator, bumping shoulders as they went. Once inside, the two turned and immediately laughed to each other – something Todoroki was only comfortable doing when Midoriya was around and nobody else. Even then, it was rare, and Midoriya cherished his laugh every time he heard it.

“Did you see his bunny slippers?” Midoriya giggled, and Todoroki nodded, chuckling ever so softly.

“They had the same red eyes as him,” Todoroki noted.

When the elevator stopped on Midoriya’s floor, Todoroki walked him to his room. Midoriya insisted it wasn’t necessary – after all, it was just a few paces down the hall – but still Todoroki felt the need to spend as much time by Midoriya’s side as possible. When they finally parted ways at Midoriya’s door, the smaller boy let his fingertips brush on Todoroki’s, and he wished him goodnight. Todoroki lingered outside his door for a moment even after Midoriya closed it, trying to calm his racing heart.

Still, even now it hadn’t occurred to Todoroki that perhaps his feelings weren’t just that of friendship. He almost felt incapable of love, and so it never even began to cross his mind that he might have a crush on Midoriya. In his mind, Midoriya was his best friend – and anything more than that felt impossible.

[ikonislife]

Shame 05. (Final)

-Junhoe x Reader

-Angst, Smut, CEO!Junhoe

-Somewhere in between his haughty smirk and sultry whisper, you let yourself lost in a path of no return with the man who doesn’t love anyone.

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Final

Never before had your wish for time traveling to be possible hammered harder in your heart as it did this very moment. The clock ticking just as it had since the beginning of time, yet you could physically feel each second elongated into minutes. You’ve tapped your foot, your pens, your folders, even your subordinate’s patient and barely 10 minutes had gone by. You wondered if Junhoe too, was also under this strange spell, was he too anxious for the meeting awaiting in the horizon. Curious how the giant ball of emotional mess your heart had been making a home of suddenly much less chaotic even though the words remained unspoken and issue still just as unresolved as it had been the past week. The little rendezvous under the sight assaulting neon of the women bathroom changed not the shame you felt for nights. It didn’t change either what happened in that elevators or the words he said. Yet there was a fire glowing, no denying the rush you felt thinking of seeing him again and it wasn’t all boiling lava of hatred. It was anticipation, of not only the truth but also a future, a bright future with Koo Junhoe. 

Would Irene call you foolish, idiotic, stupid even for the willing trust you gave him when nights before, terrors haunted your dreams, tormenting your soul. You’ve lost count of the times your phone was seconds away from reaching his, a text, a phone call… It was as easy as walking toward that fateful elevator and ring for his attention. Yet you’ve both made a promise to yourselves to do this right, to not let the cursed situation of being boss and subordinate getting in the way. So, once more you tucked away your phone, letting the heavy sigh of your heart falling into the ugly depth of reality. Junhoe must think of you silly if he realized how anxious, desperate even, for the meeting that was mere hours away that you could barely sat still. Or perhaps not, for a not a moment later, your phone nearly scaring your heart into submission as it rang loudly, echoing through the close confinement of your office.

“Hello, Y/n speaking.” You tried to hide the hopefulness in your voice, that secretly you wished it was Junhoe calling. 

“I don’t think I can wait a second longer.” Perhaps life had finally decided to smile upon your misfortunate self as his voice rough, whispering his desire so clearly through to you. “It’s stupid, I know. I promised you I’ll do this the right way but it’s excruciating… Sitting here, knowing you were just a few floors below and not being able to-“ His voice droned out, suddenly very aware of how quiet you’ve been. Though perhaps not for the reason that had just crossed his mind. You were simply mesmerized, moonstruck, and a bit fearful that he could read your mind. “I’m sorry, Y/n. I shouldn’t have call.” He chuckled bitterly and somehow, even through the muddling of the office phone, you felt the full extent. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry.”

“Wait!” You were one degree away from screaming, letting the entire world know but the way his voice grew distant, you weren’t about to let him hang up when really, you wanted the same. “Wait, I-, me too.” You sighed, finally letting yourself admit out loud just how riled up he could get your heart to be. 

“Really?” There was something very childlike in the way he exclaimed in disbelief, as if it was completely preposterous that you’d feel the same. In reality, there was no denying and he knew just as well as your heart did that you won’t ever say no to him. “I mean, what should we do then?” You found it cute the way he had subtly cleared his throat before letting the solemnity of a boss returned to his voice. 

“I felt a bit sick after lunch… Thinking about taking the rest of the day off.” You mused, hoping he’d catch on, finally cashing in on those vacation hours you’ve so long been storing up. 

“Oh no, are you alright? Should I call for a doctor? Take you to the hospital?” Or not, who knew the genius behind Koo enterprise success would be so dense. Then again, to be this victorious, you doubted he knew what playing hooky meant.

“Junhoe!” You giggled and his heart stopped. Not skipping a beat, not wavering, it stopped. 

“Oh! I see. Well Ms. Y/l/n, you had a very important meeting later today so I think you should see a supervisor before leaving. It’d be terribly irresponsible if you don’t.” Was it so weird that ‘adorable’ was the first thing that popped into your mind when he finally caught your hint? “I think something this big in scale should go straight to the boss, don’t you think?”

“Ah. Yes, sir. I’ll be right up.” 

The second the receiver had clicked back into the safety of its home, you shot out of your chair, hands hastily gathering random files and paper… All nonsense really, all just an excuse to make your visit to the king all the more natural the eyes of nosy bystander. The door to your office swung with vigor, all the vigor your heart mustered up, drumming to some insane beats out of sheer excitement. In fact, your heart had been so excitingly hopeful that your sudden emerging from your office scared the soul out of the few trainees, unaware that despite your stern appearance, you were as harmless as a bunny. Waving them off, you continued your march toward the elevator hoping Irene wouldn’t be in one of her trance, dreamily starring at the elevator, wishing that it was time to go home. Not that you’d mind sharing with your dear friend borderline mother the event that had left you giddy like a school girl in a mile vicinity of her crush. Not at all, in fact you couldn’t wait to divulge this ball of secret, to tell her how excited you were… After all, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen your battered body and the hellish screams of your nightmares. In actuality, you’d much preferred having the full story, knowing the ending to your own story before sharing it with your world.  

Tip-toeing passed the thankfully busy head of HR, you abused the elevator button with all the might your index finger could dish out in the short seconds it took for the metal box to arrive. As the sinful golden door closed on the world busy with their head stuck in work, the breath you had been holding left your lips in a heavy sigh, heart finally began to settle. Shakily, your finger once more reaching toward the highest button amongst the endless rows, the one marked simply with a golden “K”. 

“Hello, this is Mr. Koo’s office.” 

“Hi, Seulgi. It’s Y/n. I have a meeting with Mr. Koo.” You replied, antsy and anxious, foot tapping uncontrollably praying Junhoe had forewarned her of your arrival.

“Oh, yes. He’s waiting.” With that, the elevator commanded itself to rise to the highest level where your prince charming awaited. Leaving you with exactly 45 seconds to once more staring into the reflective surface of the walls, pressing and flatting the stubbornness out of your baby hair only to give up, sighing in defeat because not even cement could help you. Strange how nervous you were, far worse than the horrendous amounts of pages you’ve written then had to immaculately presented in front of men worth billions combined. You waved at Seulgi whom was already sharing with you an empathetic look, knowing far too well the little scolding you had received and how before that, you’ve greeted her with redden eyes and smudged mascara despite the bright smile on your lips. You rushed a knock, to which the door swung open almost immediately, as if Junhoe had been pacing about right beside the grand threshold. 

“I honestly thought you changed your mind about coming…” He rushed out, greeting forgotten as he pulled you into a hug. The way his hand grasping firmly, fingers digging gently into your skin and how far he had nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, it was the action of a desperate man. Body uncomfortably contorting to accommodate for your small stature against his, he sighed in relief as your many folders abandoned, gliding carelessly onto the ground as you too wound your arms around his body. “Thank you.” Never mind the shock that had played upon your heart when the man suddenly sprung onto you, all you could feel was the appreciation pouring from his vulnerable self. 

“Junhoe, I literally just lied to my boss that I was sick so I could come see you. Have you so little faith in me?” You sigh a small laugh in amusement as nearly a minute had pass and his hold was nowhere close to being loosen. 

“But I’m your boss.” He muttered against your shoulder, not yet ready to relinquish the warmth you’ve given him.

“Yes, well, then all the more reason why you can trust me.” Parting way finally, though with the smallest whine that you didn’t think the great Koo Junhoe was capable of producing, he let you have a few inches, just enough so you could gaze upon that handsome face. “I risked my career for you, in more ways than one… Shouldn’t that tell you my intention?”

“I’m just…” He sighed, forehead resting against yours as his eyes fluttering shut, still in disbelief that you were here, in his arms. “I’ve treated you in ways no one should ever and... I wouldn’t be a surprise if you change your mind and walk away. I said I would do this the right way to only once more making you meet me in secret…”

“Hey, I’m here, aren’t I? If I wasn’t okay, I would tell you.” His reminder of your grim past together pulled your elated soul back to the ground of reality fast for what the night hold remained a mystery. Whispering a soft agreement, his arms finally unwound, gesturing for you to take a seat on the same set of couches that had hosted countless meeting of the hearts. For a minute, neither of you spoke, simply letting the air settling comfortably over the small intimate meeting. You stared at him, studying the sharp jaws and defined features that you were almost too fearful to take in as a whole before now. You’d focus on his eyes one meeting, then part of his lips on another, always parts but never the whole and this very second, you were left breathless. His eyes too, fixated on you but rather than studying, he was relearning the curve of your body, your dainty features. Bit horrible on his part really as a boss, but countless time he’d find himself lost in your beauty as you speak about some boring project. So instead of letting his mind be bother with details he knew you’ve already carefully gone over times and times again, Junhoe let his mind made acquaintances with the little details of your personality, your quirks, and your habits. He prayed that after tonight, you’d give him a chance to continue his study of you. 

“So…” you sighed gently, letting your eyes wandered about the grand office out of sheer nervousness. It was only now that your attention had been drawn to the nearly empty desk, messy and out of place, quite unusual of Junhoe who had prided himself in being able to keep his composure no matter what shit show was going down. Your eyes slowly trailed down to the chaotic mess strewn about the floor, shattered glass, spilt amber liquid staining the otherwise pristine floor. “Junhoe, what happened?”

“What?” Your question caught him amidst his day dream, shocking the living soul out of his body. His eyes widen in confusion before it faltered to a bit of sorrow once he realized just what you were staring at. “Oh, that… It’s nothing, Y/n. Don’t worry ‘bout it.” 

“there’s glass all around, I don’t want you getting hurt!” By the time his ears had registered the sentence, you were already up from your seat, trekking carefully toward the mess. 

“My sweet girl, after all I’ve done… You still worry about me getting hurt.” Before you could reach for the fragments glittering in the golden sun pouring in from the massive windows spanning the length of his office, Junhoe already got your hands safely cradling in his before gentle kisses falling down. “I don’t want you to get hurt again, from a mess I made…” You remained still, letting the fading warmth of a fleeting afternoon shrouded your heart and soul in the last bit of calm before all hell breaks loose. 

“W-Where should we begin?” Unable to contain any longer the drumming of your heart, anticipating the story you’ve for nights dreamt of, you broke the silent that was only delaying the real matters of the hearts. 

“I guess there’s one question I have to ask before we can move on…One that I suspect will clear up a lot for us.” There was a bit of bitterness behind his vague request, as if it was taking his entire being to bite back the poisonous thought that had fueled all the unreasonable things he had done. You nodded, entirely unsure of what was about to fall from his lips but by the way Junhoe’s lips had pressed into a thin line, brows furrowed in anger? In frustration? You didn’t know but whatever he was about to ask you, it couldn’t be anything good. “What is the nature of your relationship with Johnny?” He rushed through the questions, hating every second of it. “Outside of work, I meant.” 

“Nothing… We’ve gotten close through the few times you sent me to his branch for projects… but not much outside of work. Rarely even see each other outside of work.” Admittedly, confusion wasn’t the first emotion to cross your mind as fear overwhelmingly drowned your soul in its grasp. In all the months spent together, all the time he had lost his temper over mistakes, never before had you been more afraid for someone than you were this very second for poor Johnny. The way his name tumbled from Junhoe’s lips, it was as if the man before you completely vanished leaving behind nothing but the pure bitterness of anger in the empty shell of a person. His voice cold, eyes devoid of any spark, any warmth that would let you know he was the same person who had whined into your ears because you merely moved two inches away. 

“And that’s the whole truth?” He spoke up once more in the same demeanor, though you knew the emotion boiling his blood was not meant for you at all, it raised all the hair on your body and struck you with all the fear the world got to give.

“Yes, Junhoe. What other kind of truth is there… Obviously you have something specific in mind that you want me to admit to. And as much as I’d like to play along, I really don’t know. I’d rather you just be upfront with me. After all, isn’t that the point of this meeting?” Your voice stern but your tone was anything but as your heart drummed at light speed in the way Junhoe was tearing your body apart with his gaze. Your features stoned under the scrutinizing gaze, as if daring him to find fault in the words you had spoken.

“I saw you both that night, leaving together…”

That was all you needed to hear for every single piece of this giant, confusing puzzle that was the past few weeks to all fall into place. The derision in the elevator, the mixed signals, the mess laying still on the floor just a few feet away, everything made sense. How you’ve never connected his action to what happened that night between you and Johnny, was beyond idiotic, beyond careless. 

“Junhoe, I- I didn’t know” No doubt that panic was wrecking your body apart, yet deep down your heart heaved a sigh of relief for it hadn’t so grossly misjudge Junhoe, even if the words he had chosen, that was something you’ve yet to forgiven him for. Yet just knowing it was stemmed from something as painful as heartache, to know he wasn’t so unreasonable, so despicable was like the weight of the world lifted from your heart. “It’s not what you think, I swear.” 

“I just need to know… That I wasn’t so crazy to think we really did have something… even though we knew each other a mere few months.” His heart broke watching your features contorting, twisting so aguishly, desperately conveying the words he hoped could heal his heart. “You’re not that kind of woman, I know it. You won’t do something so horrendous even if I’m nothing but a jerk… would you?”

“No, I swear. It’s a misunderstanding.” You reached for him, hands trembling as they inched toward his and before you could give out under your failing nerve, Junhoe already wrapping his large one around yours. “Please let me explain.” With a gentle nod and the way his hands squeezing yours so tightly, you felt a surge of courage electrifying your heart. Junhoe had settled back into his seat, bated breaths anticipating your version of that night that hopefully would ease his heart out of the perdition it had been in… Even if it meant he was even more so a villain than he had already been to you. 

The memory of that night wasn’t one you needed much to relive for it had imprinted itself into every grain, every fiber of your being. It was magical, it was sinful, it was magnificent, and it was the last night of peace you had before the ship carrying your heart begun to sink. Your body could recall still the aching slowly settling between your legs and how you wished for nothing more than to abandon the pair of heels so carefully chosen to entice a certain man. As you stood there, in the far back corner pretending as though you hadn’t just crawled out of his office, looking far worse than when anyone had seen you last, your attention entirely captivated by the speech… And the man, of course. 

You were lost, intoxicated by that alluring voice, playing over and over again the things he had whispered, the things he had demanded of you just moments ago in your mind despite the boring formal nonsense he was spewing. Somewhere between thanking the workers and praising how well the food were, which was honestly a big fat lies for all either of you had tasted the entire night were each other, he locked eyes with you. It was subtle, and if you were just anyone else amongst this crowd drunk in the charms of the big boss, you would’ve missed the apparition of the tiniest smirk blooming behind that charming smile. But you weren’t just anyone, not anymore. So, you raised the champagne flute with the slightest nod of your head in return. 

As the night ticked on and the count of empty flutes grew dangerously close to double digits, your weary body wished for nothing more but to be wrap in a bundle under the safety of your blanket, especially now that you had realized the chance of getting close to him was slimmer than none. Irene had snuck away long ago, far more interested in her own adventure than the forced pleasantry of a company party. It was as good of a time as any for you to bid adieu to a wonderful night. You watched on for a moment, observing Junhoe getting lost amidst the world of the powerful and riches you don’t dare dream of ever being part of. That little hope that he’d see you off seemed more of just wishful thinking now as more men in expensive suits and women whom dresses sparkled brighter than your future joined in the conversation. How his smile still as bright as ever and his energy remained just as it was when he first stepped into the party, even after the eventful night you shared, you didn’t know. What you did know was mayhap it was best to leave him be, taking a quiet exit and leave the details of what was promised for another day. Though the silent exit you hoped for wasn’t as inconspicuous as you had wanted as the calling of your name echoed through the empty hallway leading to the parking garage. 

“Johnny! Are you leaving too?” You greeted the man jogging your way, sharp suit and amazing styled hair leaving you unashamedly ogling. And though possessing look and stature that left many wondering why he was stuck in an office rather than on a runway, Johnny was pale in comparison to Junhoe for the boss was in a league on his own. 

“Yea, I don’t know how much more I could take of shop talk. You’d think tonight would be the one night I can escape work while being at work but…” He sighed heavily, the few stray hairs draping over his forehead conveyed perfectly the frustration taut on the poor man’s forehead. “What can you do right?”

“Yea, well, at least you’re not amidst the gossips.” You whined, inciting a bit of a chuckle from the man known not for his laugh but sharp gazes and cold demeanor. Though you had always found that tidbid was a bit untrue. Sure, the intensity behind those beautiful eyes was enough to leave the men in fear and the women giggling themselves stupid, his smile was truly infectious. He was much gentler, much much more outspoken than Junhoe. 

“Hadn’t thought of that.” There was no denying Johnny’s incredibly attractive and the chemistry between you two, well if the 100% successful rate of your collaborations were of any evident, you’d say it was off the chart. Yet there was something lacking, the something that left you so utterly breathless when Junhoe even just simply as looked your way. Something in the way he speaks, the way he moves that left you weak, drawn to the man like moth to flame. It felt amazing the way your heart seemingly willingly submitted to Junhoe’s. Not to mention, even as you walked along side another man, listening to him, smiling up at him, your mind was consumed with the thought of Koo Junhoe, and Koo Junhoe alone. You hadn’t realized too the way Johnny’s eyes were lingering on your smile, the twinkles in them, as you both continued to walk into the night. 

“You seemed cold.” And before you could even protest, he already got the large jacket wrapped around your shoulders, hands pulling close the lapels to shield your bare skin from the frigid wind of the night. For a second, neither of you said anything and perhaps for very different reason for the action to follow was far more shocking than the escapade Junhoe had taken you on. You hadn’t got a chance to process your thought when you felt it, it was so delicate and light, far different from the abuse Junhoe had left upon your lips. Johnny got one hand on the small of your back and the other gently wrapping around the length of your jaw as he let his trembling lips stilled against your forehead, no doubt nerve giving out before he could place the dainty kiss upon your lips. Your mind scrambled for a reaction, but it found none, leaving your body to fare for itself. Yet maybe doing nothing was the best course of action for not a second later, he backed away, fear engulfing his entire being as endless apologies fell from his lips. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I shouldn’t have done that.” You could feel the panic slowly eating the man alive even though there wasn’t even a tiniest sign that you were mad at him. And that was the truth, you weren’t angry, not even close to for the emotion you had felt that very second was guilt. “This wasn’t how I wanted to do this but I, I’m so sorry. You looked so beautiful and for a second I was just lost in my thought and, and I-“

“I- It’s okay. I should be the one to apologize… I- I like you, I really do. But not in the way you might want me to, not in the way I feel about someone else.” You weren’t sure if a hug was the right thing to do but there was nothing else, no other solution your brain could conjure up to calm the man before you. The jacket he had so tenderly wrapped around your body shed, returning to its rightful owner as you pulled him into a comforting hug. “I’m sorry, Johnny. I can’t return your feeling. I’m really sorry.”

You couldn’t remember much else after Johnny had sent you off in a taxi, waving goodbye still with that small frown on his lips. You prayed that the night will be kind for him, and that dreamland too will offer some solace as you sped into the night. 

As Junhoe listened to your word, the guilt in his heart only festered, spreading further as his mind rounded the last darken corner of this story between you and him, flipping on the light of clarity. His body sunk further into the cushion of the couch that could barely support the weight of his heart, soft cusses falling gently from his lips. The world crumbling beneath his feet as each and every single word he had so angrily brandished in your face replayed in his mind, jeering, mocking. He stared at your sorrowful gaze and the bitter smile having to once more brought back the unpleasantness of unrequited love and thought of your cowering form and shivering shoulders. He knew that day as he observed your defeated form that you were crying, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at your reflection in the spotless surface of the elevator mirror. It would’ve broke him, made him pull you right into his chest and that wasn’t what he had wanted... He knew that his words had broken your heart but the burn of watching you with someone else, his pride, the intensity of it all were far too strong, so strong that even the feelings he had for you shuddered in fear. He very much regretted it now, and he knew it was far too late to speak of regrets. He had been immature, cruel in every way and Junhoe wished all the money he possessed could be traded in for one more chance to do right by you. But he knew too that time travel was only something fictitious, and something he would never do to you if it was somehow possible. And so, the only thing to do was to accept his wrongs, to be the man he hoped one day you could learn to love again. 

“You don’t have to believe me but that’s the truth. If you need, poor Johnny had been apologizing for ages even though all I felt was guilt.” As you reached for your phone, to show the proof that could once and for all exonerated your heart of all that it was accused of, Junhoe shook his head in defeat.

“I believe you, Y/n, it’s alright.” 

His head hung low in disappointment, in regret, and in shame. So fearful of being the last name he bear, of the person the world expected of him, Junhoe became blind to his own feelings. For Junhoe, being himself was something easier said than done for every action he had taken, it was done with meticulous planning. He worried of the opinions that shouldn’t matter but what else could he do, being in the position he was in, possessing the kind of power he had. The few times the smallest spark had glowed in his worn-out heart, Junhoe had always approached it with his eyes on the exit door, never fully given anyone his entire self. Now that he had a taste of what love could be like if he just let himself dive in without restraint, to give into the frivolousness of the primal part that he had long been so frightened of, to not be CEO Koo but to be just Junhoe, well, he couldn’t get enough. He didn’t know how you had managed to take down the wall he had so carefully crafted to protect himself, and for once in his life, he couldn’t care less. Caution to the wind as he let you in. He wanted you, wanted not just your body but your heart and soul. He saw a future with you that night, as messed up as it sounded. He saw a beautiful life laid out neatly for him as he ravaged your body to smithereens, and Junhoe was wholeheartedly ready for it. Needless to say, when he had saw you, felt the betrayal permeating through the now crumbled facade that had so long hidden him from the realness of heartache, Junhoe was livid. He had been so numb to his own feeling that just the tiniest bit of the paradise he had tasted opened a floodgate of emotions so great, it was beyond his control. He knew it was irrational to say the words he had said, horrid the things he had said. But the white rage burning in his chest, the bitterness of betrayal in his mouth, and most of all, the regret that he had once more let someone in only to be hurt... He never stood a chance against being consumed by hate. He gave in, into the hate and into the contempt, and blamed you.  

“There’s no word, nothing I could ever do that would be enough to make up for what I’ve done to you. I know my apology means nothing to you and it doesn’t come close to heal the damage I’ve done but… I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Y/n.” Hearing your words now, witnessing the smile on your lips fading into the abyss of pain he had given you... His sweet, innocent girl, Junhoe couldn’t fathom a day where you’d love him again.

The hands that had been giving you warmth, supporting you through the retelling of that fateful night retrieved with haste as if any second longer, they would’ve poison you. Junhoe didn’t deserve your smile, nor did he deserve your touch. And it went without saying, your love wasn’t something he should possess for what he had done… He couldn’t love himself for. 

“I- I understand your anger, Junhoe… I do. You must’ve felt like a fool watching me with someone else when just moments ago promising, begging to be yours.” Bittersweet, if there ever was a single perfect defining moment for the word bittersweet, this was it. You knew his feeling, with all his heart and through all his actions, you knew. Yet you owed yourself to deal with the shame you’ve felt in your own way, to heal properly even though all you wanted was Junhoe. “But there are hundreds of ways you could’ve ask me, confront me, hell, yell at me. But what you did… I, I’ve never felt so humiliated, so betrayed before in my life.” Once more you were a sobbing mess, the feeling of descending from the height of heaven to the depth of hell just as fresh as the first moment and this time Junhoe was there for all of it. Though there wasn’t an ounce of courage in his heart to give into the urge of pulling you into his arms, he was still there, with that sorrowful gaze and concern plaguing his frown. “I really believed it all, your words, the sweet promises, I took it and held it close to my heart. The thought of going on a date with you, of seeing the you outside of this cold harsh place… To finally learn more about you, not Mr. Koo, not CEO Koo, just you! you can’t imagine how happy that made me. You took all the joy, all the hope of a girl wanting, needing love and burn it all to ash.”

“I know… I know…” The blood rushing through his heart knowing he had a chance with you, a real fighting chance toward something permanent plummeted him into an endless pit. A million things running through his minds, desperation was settling fast for Junhoe could feel you slipping right out of his hand with each second, each tear rolling down your cheeks. Would you hate him if this very second, he was to kiss away all your tears, kiss away that pout so heavy on your lips. 

“You called me a mistake, Junhoe. I was nothing more than your drunken, careless mistake.” If there ever was a measurement of how much words could hurt, Junhoe was entirely certain he had just reached its limit watching your soul withering right in front of his eyes.  

“Fuck, if you had told me that night that it was just sex and nothing more, I would’ve been perfectly content to just have one night with you and be on my way. I wouldn’t ask for anything else of you if that really all you ever wanted, but you promised me. You promised me, Junhoe.” The desperation in your voice, the frustration made him felt as if you were on the edge of a cliff of no return and he was the person who had force you there.  

“It took all of me to finally call you by your name, to ask about the future I thought I had a chance at. Yet I was left with nothing but shame and disgrace.” There was no controlling the tear washing away the bashful blush he had left on your cheeks from his hug and the shivers wrecking your body apart thinking of that morning, of the contempt tossed at you like a cold glass of harsh reality. Even now, even as you watch through your blurring, teary eyes as Junhoe slowly broke down, the sorrow eating his soul alive hearing your feelings, reservation remained in your heart. How could you not have doubt after you had watched him tear you down without even blinking an eye… As easily as taking in a breath. What worth were you really, against the person that was Koo Junhoe, against the monument that was his last name. 

“I swear to you, Y/n, I never meant for things to turn out this way.” He begged but, in his heart, he knew he didn’t deserve to beg. You trusted him, trusted his heart and trusted when he said you were special and what did he do? He stepped on your heart, stepped on your trust, and threw away all the love you had given him as if it was trash.

“What those girls said today…  It didn’t hurt because they had called me a slut or that I was just another notch in someone’s belt. I’m a grown woman, I can live my life however I want to, and if they want to call me name, ridicule me because they can’t understand that sex is natural, that’s on them.” The words you wished you could’ve thrown it back in their face, to defend your right as a person, heavy as they fall from your lips. You were comfortable in your own skin, comfortable with every decision you’ve made and if the world refused to understand then to hell with them all. The pain you felt sitting through their ugly gossips, it was something else entirely.  “It hurt because it wasn’t supposed to be just sex, it wasn’t supposed to end with another notch on your belt. It hurt, excruciating, because I truly thought you believed in it too… That in your eyes, I was just another fix. That all the sweet things you’ve said were nothing but lies. That at the end of the day, I’ll just be another faceless… used, figure in your path.” 

“No, Y/n. That’s not true.” Junhoe was at the edge of his seat, never before had so he desperately need for the god of persuasion to be on his side and never before had he felt so defeated. “I don’t care who said what about me. At the end of the day it’s just fleeting word in the breeze of time, it’ll go away eventually. But I need, want you to know that never in my mind were you just another face in the crowd. You’re so much more, my everything. I know my words… There’s no excuse and I’ll go to hell for it. I spoke out of anger, out of heartache that once more, I got burn by the woman I treasure with all my heart.” Despite the well-known last name and the face known… loved by millions, his past was something a mystery befitting of the enigma that was Junhoe. Not once were the details of whom he had been with was revealed yet you could see so clearly the damage that was done through his words, his actions. That however, excuse not the carnage he had done on your heart.

“I know where I stand on the grand scale that is the life of Koo Junhoe… You know me barely as a name of the paycheck you sign, there’s absolutely no reason you should give me your trust. Yet don’t I deserve at least benefit of the doubt?” You began, and he felt every bit of his inside twisting up in pain.

“Please don’t say that… I value you more than any woman, anyone that had come into my sad life.” The brilliant glint behind those eyes dimming out into something so dismal at the realization that he might’ve ruined whatever fleeting thread bounding your lives together… That you might never look at him the same, ever again… Those lingering loving gaze in between the heat of lust, he might never be able to see again. 

“I don’t know who had burn you in the past… But it wasn’t me.” You understood his pain, you really did, but if this relationship ever hope to be something in the vast lifestream of two young people trying to find love, it was something that needed to be said.  “If you don’t heal the wounds of the past, you’ll bleed onto the those who’ve never hurt you… so I hope you understand too that I’ll need time, to process and to heal.” 

“I understand…” The words barely audible as Junhoe let himself immersed in the weight of reality. “I can wait…” Hope flashed so vibrantly as he spoke the words, you could feel your heart smiling along with the small grin he offered up… But you weren’t sure yourself that was what you wanted, for him to wait. 

“Junhoe… I can’t ask you to wait, especially not when I don’t even know myself how long, or if I ever will.” There was no easy way, you knew for certain, so you let out your thought the only way either of you deserve – straightforward, even if it only hurt further. 

“Please, Y/n. Let me… If somehow-“ The words choked in his chest, heart far too weary to support the unfathomable thought of you never, ever again looking his way. “If by the end of it all, I’m not what you want then I will respect your decision. I won’t force my way into your life, I promise you.”

There was no denying the surging emotions enveloping your heart in a stormy sea of conflicts. You fell for him, far harder than you had for any man before, and there was an inexplicable nagging in the back of your mind that by week end, you’d be back in his arms. But that wasn’t a promise for you to make, at least not right this second. And it was never your desire for Junhoe to miss out on life, to feel as if he owed you his patient and his time even as horrible as the words he had said. You can feel the sincerity in his apology and his promise that there was never any ill will, with all your heart, you appreciated his truthfulness. At the end of the day, it truly was simply a misunderstanding. And the thought of him with someone else, the same way he had seen you with Johnny, well that was a thought that had your heart bleeding and soul raging. It was a thought that had begun to badger at the deepest corner of your heart to dive back in, to pick things up as if the horrid past hadn’t happened at all. Reluctantly, you nodded, allowing yourself one last hug before your broken heart and battered soul could be on their way toward recovery. 

For a long while, neither of you said much save for the few sniffles still lingering of emotions and hearts laid bare. Junhoe took his time, though he no longer let is hand grazing along your soft skin out of respect, he let his heart get lost in the way your cheeks redden, eyes glossy from tear yet still shining so brightly. He sighed mournfully, praying that this parting of the hearts will lead to a happy ending, no matter how long it might take. And although he was hopeful, he was ready too, to deal with the scenario he didn’t want to think of. As his eyes strayed from your seemingly peaceful form toward the mess he had made beside his desk, the issue of your resignation that was forgotten once more rising, discomfort steeling in his chest. 

“Y/n, your resignation… If you wish, I will sign it. Even if that goes against every single wish of mine.” He spoke carefully, treading the territory of unpleasantness, of not being able to see you every day. “Every word I had said stand true. If this place lose you, if I lose you...”

“I-, admittedly, when I had arrived this morning… I wanted nothing more than to leave this place that had caused so much pain. But now, I’m not so sure anymore.” 

“For now, I will keep it safe. When you reach your decision, I will do as you wish.” A bit of hope rising in his chest knowing that no longer were he so despicable in your eyes that leaving was the only thing you could do. Yet he made peace too with that dreadful worst-case scenario… You deserved at least that much from him. 

“Thank you. You’re a great guy, Junhoe. Despite everything that had happened between us and all that will, you’ll always have a place in my heart.”

“There’s no word that can express my feeling for you. And I think you’re sick of me saying it by now, but I really am sorry, for everything I’ve done. I will never stop making it up to you, for as long as you’ll let me.” Although the thick air of aching hearts barely lifting, there was a sense of elation shared between you both. It felt as though it was the good old day of silent flirting, of the uncertain feelings once more. “Is there any chance at all you’d let me finish what I started that night. I never got a chance to drop you off.” The lightness in his word signaled a new beginning for you both, even if you’ve got a long way to heal, it was something delightful. It was quite adorable the way Junhoe smiling so sheepishly, gaze averting out of the sheer chance that you’d laugh at him. 

“I suppose I’ll be needing a ride home seeing how I left so early. Unless you were planning on letting the head of HR going home early also?” You teased and watched his eyes lit up at the realization of what you had just said.

“I think Irene got quite the workload today. I’m sure she’ll be all grumpy at meeting tomorrow from how many files I gave her. Luckily, I do know someone that might be able to fill in the spot of the driver.” You forgot how effortless it was to be with Junhoe, far easier than it was with any man that came before despite the constraint of boss and worker looming over your relationships. 

“Hmm, and how much would Koo-ber cost me? I’m nothing but a mere office worker, I can’t afford top of the line luxury.”

“I think you’ve accumulated enough points to have free ride for the rest of your life.” His laugh crisp against the softening atmosphere of budding friendship, the brightest you’ve seen in ages.

Before the you both enter into the night, you insisted upon cleaning up the mess that you certainly had everything to do with despite Junhoe vehemently denying. Soft words spoken and stories of the past slowly emerged as you both huddle over the arrays of broken objects cluttering the floor. Although no closer to finding out about the scars of past love, you found out his love for martial art and boxing, both no doubt contributed to the amazingly toned body you had lusted over. He had learned of Irene’s mama bear persona that honestly left him sweating knowing that she too was aware of the nightmare, even if it was only surface knowledge. 

With one last parting hug, Junhoe sent you off, promising this time, he’ll be there till the end. Once more, the whirling of the golden elevator sending you off toward future unknown. This time, a sense of hope and elation wrapped you into a tight embrace. 

Just as he had promised, not long after you had rounded the corner toward the VIP parking, a smile bloomed on your lips at the sight of him jogging his way toward you. A smile too was on his lips. Not a minute later, under the roaring of his sleek black sport car (no doubt cost more than the price of your life), you both sped into the world still quietly at work. The thought of dinner running through his mind yet Junhoe dare not yet to speak of it. It was the first day of being friend, of leaving the past to move toward a better future. There was no need to rush so he let that thought go with a soft smile. The usual half hour ride felt a mere 2 seconds when small talk filled the time, carefree laughter mingled as you watch the road slowly filled with tired workers, happy that another tedious work day was over. 

There was no helping the beating of his heart as Junhoe stole a glance of you every now and then, to think that one day, the usual loneliness of an empty passenger seat would be dispelled by your warmth. It was a view he could get used to, just as well as the view of your lovely smile beaming so brightly as the retold of how utterly scared shitless the intern had been when you stormed off suddenly on the way to meet him. Even the soft, quiet grunt every single time your phone would buzz angrily from another text from Irene was endearing. After all, you had let her know that you were going ahead only for your phone to ding violently hundred times in a row. You tried to laugh it off, a bit rosy on the cheeks but he only found it cute. Even now as he watched you waving vigorously, standing at the entrance of your apartment, Junhoe felt his heart racing even if the future was still very much unknown, hoping that as the sun set on this beautifully eventful day that the worst was finally over and done with. You too prayed for a better future as you watch from the safety inside the gate of your apartment, knowing in just short hour time, the wrath of Irene will rain down upon your poor soul. No matter, to finally see him drive off, to have the happy goodbye you should’ve gotten that night was the closure you didn’t know you needed. Once and for all, you both could close the book on the night that was both sinfully amazing, wonderfully loving, but also regretfully painful. Finally, you can move on. 

If the thunderous footfall and loud bang of the door were of any indication, your life was about to end in the three seconds it’d take Irene to barge into your room. Right on cue, nostrils flaring, and hair looked about if she had just trekked through a category 5 storm without an umbrella, Irene appeared at the threshold of your room looking as if someone had just murdered her cat. 

“Y/L/N Y/N, tell me right how what the hell did you just do?”

“Did I just do what?” Hadn’t bothered looking up once since she tossed her heels unto your poor floor, reckless abandoned, you deadpanned with a gaze that irked Irene all the wrong ways. How could you be so nonchalant, aloof, laying there in your stupid panda PJ that she had bought, scrolling through your phone as if she hadn’t seen you half dead just this morning.

“What. The. Hell?!” With each syllable leaving her lips, a hard slap landed upon your butt with all the vigor a twenty something head of HR could dose out on an empty stomach. “You left with him, didn’t you?! Y/n!!!!!” She tugged and she pulled but you wouldn’t budge, laying still on your stomach though no longer letting your eyes running over the small conversation with Junhoe on your phone. 

“What, so what if I did?” Your flat delivery clearly didn’t amuse your best friend as hundred painful slaps rained down upon your back along with an ear-piercing screech of frustration. “Alright, stop! We talked things out okay?”

“What the hell even happened in the first place?”

With a heavy sigh, once more you let yourself soaring amongst the past, retelling the events of that fateful nights just as you had once before but this time, in a much different lights than that of your haunting nightmare. You told her of the tender moments to follow the sinful moans, of the misunderstanding, and of his anger. Your story continued well into dinner as you both huddling over the sizzling of meat, delectable scent and thick smoke couldn’t dim out the words. 

“So he thought you were two timing him and Johnny…” As the story closed out with your prince driving off into the sunset, Irene mulling over each details, pouring yet another much needed glass of soju to help her digest the insane week you had. “So instead of just confronting you like a normal human being, he what? Insulted you instead?” 

“Yea… that’s the gist of it.” 

“And you’re still talking to him, why?” The question leaving her lips perfectly clear, yet it had you lost in the bends and curves of your mind, of everything that had happened and everything you hoped will happened. Why, why were you so drawn to a man that had shown you nothing beyond the empty promises and hurt in the few short hours you got to know what it was like to be loved by Koo Junhoe. You knew nothing about him, absolutely nothing to say that by tomorrow’s morn he won’t be the same jerk that had left you in tear, the one that had disregarded your very existent. But for reason beyond your knowledge, you trusted him. Your heart glowed when he smiled your way, willing to lay its life to make him happy. You sat there in silent, staring at your dear best friend as the million thoughts vibrated through your mind. 

“Y/n? Did I lose you?” Irene repeated once more but you were nowhere and everywhere all at once, dazed eyes staring back at her, no, right through her. 

The flirtatious gaze, the sweet smile he had shared with you. For so long you’ve always thought that was just the kind of man he was, the kind of man befitting of the whispers in the far corners of the company. Then his smile warmed, and his tone softened. You noted the lingering touches, the accidental one that could very well be purposefully. You had always told yourself it was just a delusion of a girl crushing on her charming boss. Yet somewhere along the way, you had unknowingly let yourself given into that tiny spark that had grown into an uncontrollable flame of desire. You began flirting back, lustful smile and drawn out sweet words became natural as the days passed. And before you could even realize, it was an explosion of emotion that you didn’t, couldn’t tell since when the fuse was lit. All the fleeting praises, even the harsh demand, even the broken promises, all the memories Junhoe had given you rushed back in a split second. Winded, breathless, the rush of emotion vacated all the air from your lungs.

“Y/n!” Irene shook you by the shoulders, a loud grunt of your name had left her lips, scaring even the table beside your own. “You good?”

“I, uhm, think so?” You vague words eased her heart not as she continued to fuss over your dazed self. 

It was only now, after all the heartache, the heart to heart talk, and being able to lay it all out in front of someone with a clear perspective that you finally understood, that this overwhelming emotion finally hit you. It sunk in just how hard you had fell for that charming smile and alluring voice. Not just that but the sweet personality, the caring side you’ve so sparingly seen, but what you had was enough to keep you coming back. Given everything that your heart had gone through, not once did it get the chance to process the emotion without the pain. You were absolutely sure, without a doubt infatuated with the man that seemingly know naught about love. 

“Don’t tell me…” There were far too many reasons to count as to why Irene was your best friend. But perhaps the biggest one of all was her ability to always know what was on your mind. No word needed but Irene always know what to say, what emotions was running through your heart and this very second, as you sat there with that dumbfounded look plastered on your shock-stricken features, it too hit her. “Don’t tell me. Y/n, you barely know the guy! How could you love someone you barely know, let alone hurt you?” 

“I- I’m not saying that any of it make sense, okay? I barely got the whole story myself and I’m figuring things out as I go.” You said words you knew would appease the angry mother bear, yet within your heart, there was no second guessing just how smitten you were with Koo Junhoe. 

“As much as I hate this, and him. I don’t give a shit if he can fire me.” 

“Irene!” The piece of meat that had tasted like heaven, frozen in in your throat, harsh cough falling from your lips as you tugged at your unfazed best friend. 

“What, it’s true. I don’t give two shit about what he thinks or has to say. But I know you, and I care about you, and you’re the most stubborn bitch I’ve ever met. So, I know there’s no changing your bullheaded mind about this, therefore I won’t stop you from loving him. Hell, what do I even know about love anyways to stop you. But do know that I think very little of what he did.  Regardless of who did what to him in the past, he’s a grown man, he should know better than to berate someone simply because he got a little hurt. Don’t just run back into his arms just because you think you love him. That doesn’t change anything he did.”

“I won’t… I owe myself that much.” She was right, and as much as you want for this to be a rom-com with a tearful reunion and a grand happy ending… The tear you cried, the shame you felt, they were still like a bruise darken on your heart. Love or not, it’d just be another thing you’d have to deal with in the days to come. 

As the night slowed to a halt, flashing neon and boisterous laughter of friends faded away for another peaceful sleep, you too rest your mind and heart. Solace blanketed over your small apartment, as you waved Irene goodnight. The wounds left by the past had yet to heal but no longer did it ached deep within your bones; an itch finally satisfied. As you pulled over your body the thick blanket that hadn’t kept you safe from the restless nights of the past few weeks, you wondered if the night too had been kinder for Junhoe. You knew this wasn’t the outcome he had hoped for, despite the weight of misunderstanding no longer sinking your soul to the depth of hell, you knew that full well. But it was a start, and for now, you hoped it’d be enough.

You knew life from there on out would be far less taxing and heartbreaking, but the easiness of how it carried on as if the weeks of turmoil and heartache had simply vanished from existent still didn’t fail to surprise you. By the 2nd week passing, it had become effortless to let go of the harsh words and resentment harbored for the man your heart longed for. Sure, part of you were still reeling from the humility and suffering, but you found yourself light. The dumb moonstruck smile you had always given him were once more back on your lips every time he’d look your way. He too, sporting a brilliant smile as often as he could, much to the shock and poor hearts of the entire work force. The gossip squad too, seemed to have moved on from the mystery women that had left their boss so flustered that one fateful night. Instead, they’re not tirelessly debating his sudden change in demeanor. Not that they had much to complain about honestly, giddy and giggling themselves stupid every time he swung by for an office visit with a smile on his lips. 

True to his words, Junhoe returned back to those days when you could only refer to him as Mr. Koo. Though you suspected it wasn’t without difficulties for the way his eyes would linger on you just a tad longer, smile just a bit brighter, and of course, the softness in his voice whenever your name tumbled from his lips. You suspected too that it was something neither you nor him had much control over given your history. And in many ways, you were glad for the little moments in an otherwise mundane day to let you know that his feeling for you hadn’t dull, even as the sun risen and set over the 3rd week of loneliness. 

Though your work life was as normal as it had always been, in the slow moments of days, moments when work eluded your weary mind and a break was much needed, your life was anything but. Sweet messages and even on rare occasion when Junhoe would be in a particularly good mood, a selfie would grace you with its present. The first time he had sent one over, it was a rather strenuous day when meeting hadn’t gone right, and the world was seemingly out to get you. It was rather late in the night; the LED light of your office was still very much buzzing, and the long report was nowhere near ending. You hadn’t expected any call, no texts, not even a social media alert when his name flashed across your screen, stealing all the attention you’ve got to give that very moment. Your heart already drumming thousand beats a second, even if the disappointment that he was probably wishing you a goodnight already souring in your chest. Nothing, and you meant it, absolutely nothing could’ve prepared you for the picture that popped up on your screen as you let out a less than human-liked screech. The suit you had seen so impeccable over his body just hours ago in meeting gone. In its place a soft knitted sweater with neckline far more tempting than the devil himself. His hair had been wet, few locks matted to the front of his forehead, so different from the neat style he wore daily in the office, so casual. It left you wondered of the life Koo Junhoe carried beyond the walls of this massive company, of the him in mundane daily life. But the thing that had your heart wanting to give up on life, and soul vanishing into the depth of the universe was that beautiful smile bright on his lips. You couldn’t stop staring, not even when the report you had been waiting for hours dinged loudly on your laptop, far too mesmerized by the suddenness, the boldness, and him. The text had been so simple, “stay strong”, but it meant the world to you. He had been aware of the issues that had kept you still chained to your desk even when the moon had long reigned the sky. And as much as he had wanted to stay, eyes lingering on your worn-out form when he had left the office just an hour ago, a promise is a promise. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t give you a bit of encouragement, a bit of motivation to get you through the rough night. And there was nothing in the rulebook to stop him from sending you delivery dinner either. 

Though it wasn’t often you were spoiled with a picture of the man, phone calls were fortunately far less elusive. Sometimes even deep into the hours of the night, under the soft moonlight, you’d both enjoy the shared silent and rhythmic breaths over the phone, not a word said yet you were both content. Eventually, you had learned that it was rather easy to draw out a soft giggle from the man despite his stone-cold appearance. You’ve lost count of the time the entire board of supervisors had gone under mass hysteria and collective meltdown as Junhoe let out a soft giggle. You’d done it on purpose, sending him a cute message or even a joke you had been saving for a rainy day while waiting for the meeting to officially start. Oh the look and the strange stare they shared with one another. It was utterly comical to you really because you’ve gotten used to his strange humour and how beautiful his laughter was, yet to the company, he had been the same cold, standoffish man of the past. Though you surmised that would soon change for the façade he had built for himself was slowly melting away as he opened up more and more each day to the rest of the company.

Despite finally letting his true self shined through at work, Junhoe’s effort in keeping it professional around you didn’t go unnoticed. He had hid his heart’s desires so incredibly well that even the secret privy, eagle eyes head of HR herself couldn’t spot anything out of the ordinary.More than once she had stormed your office, your room, and even once when you had been so leisurely enjoying a nice warm bath to question the sincerity behind the big boss man.

“Are you sure he’s still into you?” Slamming the lid of your toilet with all the energy her tiny body could mustered up, Irene thrown herself upon the ceramic throne with a huff, ignoring completely the shock spreading through your features. She got that typical Irene stare that burn you with all the inquisitiveness she possessed. 

“What the hell is wrong with you? You couldn’t wait till I’m done to ask that?” You splashed a bit of bubbly water her way, earning an unusually hard slap upon your shoulder. 

“Oh, or are you guys banging again? Is that why he’d been so happy lately?”

“Irene!” You scolded but there was no stopping the train of curiosity. “What’s with you? First you were disapproving of him, now suddenly he’s not lovey dovey enough?”

“What? I just want to know that you were in good hands. I’ll castrate him if he hurts you again.” The coldness in her eyes, that devilish smirk, suddenly you were curious if your dear best friend had a dark past that she had been hiding from you. 

“I will keep that in mind… Geez. And anyways, have you not noticed how he had been “visiting the departments for routine checkup” more often now?” With your fingers air quoting vigorously, the lightbulb in your best friend’s mind finally went off. She slapped her thigh, hard, only to wince silently, wondering how you had been taking her hand all these years without needing to go to the ER.

“Oh, is that why? I thought it was because he made me hired like billions of new workers recently… Sly, I like it!” Irene had reached over to slap you in excitement but stopped short realizing just how close you were to pulling her right into the bath. 

“You’re a literal yo-yo I swear, could you just decide on whether you love or hate him, please? So I can live in peace.” You sighed, thumb and forefinger rubbing hard at the ridge of your nose as Irene cackled, clearly enjoying vexing you out. “Besides, he’s doing what he promised to. Isn’t that what matter most?” 

“I know I haven’t been exactly nice about him, but I do respect him for sticking to his words. But I have to ask, does he at least show interest in you in privacy?” Your mouth dropped open at her question but cut short before the words could form. “I don’t mean that privacy, nasty! I mean when it’s just you and him. Does his tone change? Is he sweeter than normal?” By the change in her tone, you knew the conversation had gone into a completely different territory, and this Irene wasn’t the one nosy about your sex life nor leaving empty milk carton in the fridge on purpose to annoy the shit out of you.

“It’s kind of crazy. Obviously during work, he stays professional. Yet the second the clock ticks five, it’s like he’s a completely different person.” You mulled over the duality of the man, knowing just when to be soft and when to be stern. “When we talk on the phone, text even, he and our CEO might as well be two completely different person.” You sighed gently, far too lost in your own thought to even remember Irene was still very much perching on the edge of your toilet. 

“Have you not seen each other in person since?”

“No… I didn’t think that was a good idea. I mean when we have private meeting, I could tell he really tried his best to stay professional. Yet sometimes if our hands accidentally touch, or if I sit a bit too close, I could see it in his eyes, that moonstruck look.”

“Wow, if you told me a month ago our boss has a soft side, I’d have thrown you off the roof of our company.” The way Irene cheered and clapped; you would’ve thought Junhoe was merely a robot knowing nothing of emotions.  “More importantly, how are you feeling?” 

“I’m content, I guess. It starting to feel a lot like the beginning, back when I was just another worker crushing on him. I don’t know why, but it makes me feel like I’m 16 again really falling for someone for the first time ever.” It was hard to explain exactly the way Junhoe made you feel, the butterflies in your stomach, as if your heart had grown wings. When was the last time you felt such pure, innocent love for someone, you couldn’t recalled. For so long you’ve learned to be good to yourself, to be okay with being alone, to love yourself. Yet there were always those cold night, those weekend mornings when Irene would be skipping her way to brunch or some crazy adventure with her beau and you’d feel the tiniest pin pricking at your heart. You were happy for her, happy for yourself but sometimes, sometimes you do wish for that one person that could accept you unconditionally. You had never placed that expectation on Junhoe, not at all when he had pulled you into his arms that night in the elevator. You thought it was just a one-night stand, a few glorious hours in heaven with the country’s most eligible bachelor. Yet promises of the future got your heart in a twist and all you could think of since was sharing body heat on a cold rainy day, of dinner for two, and of the simple mundane moments spent in content silent. 

“I’m happy for you! Have you thought about when you’ll talk to him again? I’m not rushing you by any mean, but it’s been a month, Y/n. Are you close at all to forgiving him?”

“In all honesty, I think I’ve already forgiven him the second I agreed to let him wait for me. I understood where he came from, but what he said, it still wasn’t right.” You’ve told yourself a million times that you’d do this your way, and if that meant never being with Junhoe, you were ready to accept the consequences. That didn’t mean part of you wasn’t yearning for the day you could forget about the past and proudly call him yours. 

“I know I haven’t exactly been nice about him but, I could tell everything he had done so far, good and bad, it was out of his feeling for you. I can understand being so overwhelm and blind by your emotion, you begin to forgo all rationality.” That was something you hadn’t much experience with, being so blind by love, letting emotion dictates your action. But from the countless time Irene had broken down in your arms after a heartbreak, you always knew she meant well and by all means in the world she was a good person… Yet her action, her words in the moment had made absolutely no sense, the person she was in that single moment in time was so foreign, you wanted nothing more but to dissect her brain to confirm she really was still your best friend. 

“I know… He made a grave mistake, and even as hurtful as everything had been, I feel like he doesn’t deserve to be persecuted simply because he followed his heart’s instinct. And I know this is a bit of a reach but, I just needed to know, to be sure that 5 years from now, I won’t be resentful of something I thought I dealt with. As time goes on, there’s not a single doubt that I already fallen in love with him. But that love will mean absolutely nothing if I can’t let go of that hurt, if guilt dictates our relationship and future. I’ve forgiven him, but I need to make absolutely sure I can let go and forget about an event that quite honestly was the defining moment of our relationship.”

There was no denying the anticipation bubbling very close to the surface whenever you knew a meeting with Junhoe was in the near future. Yet the days to follow your conversation with Irene, it officially reached an unprecedented height when the anticipation had fully grown into nervousness. Butterflies thrashing its wings in your stomach and with each second passing, you were a tick closer to bearing the content of your stomach for the world to see. Even if you knew it was merely for a morning briefing, even a quick lunch with about 10 other poor souls suffering through a stuffy meal with the big boss. You didn’t care, your heart didn’t care because every second you had with him was every second longer you’d have to hold you over the entire weekend long of not seeing Junhoe. It felt so much like the first time you had gone out with a boy, counting down every second until you could see him again and every second away, was every single second of being torture. Each goodbye was getting a bit harder, and the excitement once glowed in your chest for a fun weekend no longer what it used to be. Two entire days, two entire days without that handsome smile, without feeling his warmth. As your step echoed closer to the conference held beyond the grand doors you’ve now grown fond of, sadness slowing your feet. Hesitation stopping your knuckle short of rapping against the wooden surface you knew hold your entire heart, soul wishing it had more time but alas, punctuality was something Junhoe favored. 

The thought of the weekend to come pushed aside, but there wasn’t much helping the grimace on your face and the emotion steeling in your chest. You must’ve looked like you had lost your entire life saving because it hadn’t gone unnoticed by the big boss, scowl already on his lips. You had settled beside your supervisor, discomfort written so clearly over your features had him worried. Even as the meeting went on, his eyes lingered back to you often, wanting, needing to know what had got his favorite person so down not even a smile was shared. 

In a flash, the meeting you once thought as dreadful had gone by far too quick and once more it was time to shuffle back to the loneliness of your own office. Purposefully taking far too long packing up your folder, you were last to file out from his office. Yet before your sadden self could make it through the threshold, gentle hand wrapped around your wrist, the first time he had touched you since this budding friendship was formed.

“Ms. Y/n, if you could stay back for a few minutes. There are a few things I’d like to add into the project.” His voice warm against your soul, giving just the right boost for a smile to blossomed on your lips. 

“Yes, sir.”

Admittedly, he had hated when you utter those honorific term. It felt like a stab in his chest, a reminder that he’ll always be your boss and that was how your relationship will always be. Yet now, he had begun to find it adorable the way you had more than once let his first name slipped only to stuttered out the term to cover up the embarrassment bright red on your cheeks. Now and then, you’d say the term far too often, and he wondered if it was your way of reminding yourself that the world existed beyond just you and him. He had long accepted too that it was simply part of your job, and despite how smitten he was with you, on surface level you were still very much boss and worker. You bore no ill will behind those terms… Not the way you once so bitterly bit out “Sir” to spite him. 

“Pardon my suddenness but, are you feeling alright?” Junhoe hoped you’ll forgive him for being so forward, for letting his finger gently smoothing over your redden cheeks. It was torturous, the half hour of business jargons being spew and he could do nothing but watch the sorrow lingered in your voice. You had delivered an exceptional job as always, but he couldn’t bear the way you sounded so grim, looking so grim. “Something is wrong, I know it. I’m worry.”

“I’m okay, honest.” You feigned a smile but the way his eyes burning, boring into you, Junhoe wasn’t buying it. The small sight leaving his lips was all the more gut wrenching as he turned away, sauntering back to his seat. You felt as if you had lied to a puppy. “It’s just, Irene is leaving for the entire week for a trip and, it’s the first time she’ll be gone this long since we moved in together. I guess I’m just…” Would it be crass for you to say that word, lonely. How could you be lonely when Junhoe was here, every day, waiting for the moment when you decided that you were too. 

“I see…” He nodded simply when the rest of that sentence failed to leave your lips, entirely unsure himself as to what he could do. Millions question running through his mind but the courage in his heart slowly dwindling.

“yea… It’s silly. Don’t worry about me.” Silent settled over the once grey, stuffy office. Sun shining brightly through his windows, highlighting so perfectly the man with his attention entirely on you. It was only now that you had realized this was the first time you and he were truly alone. Even if it was under the guise of work, you finally had Koo Junhoe all to yourself. “I’m sorry, I’m probably cluttering up all your time. I should go.”

“No, no… I- I mean, work hour nearly done anyways.” It burned you to see the hesitation in his action, in his words. You knew he wanted nothing more than to be with you, but he yet dared asked for it. Perhaps now was as good a time as any to address the heaviness weighing down your heart, the last bit of constraint holding the both of you back from the future.

“Any plan for the weekend?”

 “Nothing much, probably just gym.” Admittedly it surprised him to hear you ask of his plan, especially one for the weekend. But that bit of hope that flared every time you smile at him, raging once more. 

“That’s it? Aren’t you supposed to be jetting off to some amazing destination in your private jet, sipping champagne or something?” You quipped with the brightest sparkles of surprise in your eyes and it left Junhoe doubling over in laughter.

“Goodness, someone clearly seen too many drama. I’m not that kind of CEO, Y/n. I enjoy the simple things in life. Plus, if I run off to some crazy destination every weekend, who’s going to do my work for me?” That was true, he wasn’t much into the lavish lifestyle many in his position might enjoy. Not that spontaneous moments where he’d fly off toward some paradise doesn’t exist, or that he had never taken first class or own a personal private jet, those moments definitely happen now and then. He just much preferred having someone to share and enjoy those moments with, and this very second, the person he’d give his life to have accompanying him was you. What good would a vacation do if it only meant he’d be far away from you, letting his every waking hour filled with thoughts about you. 

“How about you? Any big plan?” His question simple yet the thought behind it, was anything but. He wanted to know if you were going out with anyone, he wanted to know if you’d consider going out with him… But he had promised you. 

“Irene is leaving straight from work so once that clock hit 5, I’m officially flying solo with no plan.” You tested the water, watching as the corners of his lips curved up with the softest touch of happiness yet he said nothing. “Usually Friday night is girl night out but…” Your voice trailed off, and Junhoe found himself dumbly nodding along, unable still to offer up dinner. 

“I see…” 

“Since you don’t have any plan… Would you want to go grab a tea or coffee or something? If it’s not too much trouble that is…”

“I- really?”

“Ah, forget it… It was just a thought.” It was silly, your heart still wavered so after the hundred times Junhoe nearly declaring his love for you, after all you both went through. 

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. I’d love to, but are you sure I’m good enough to replace Irene?”

“Well, I don’t know if replace is the right word… Definitely do not let her hear you say that.” You heeded a teasing warning.  “But I think you’re overqualified, if anything, I’m under qualify to hang out with you.” You said with a teasing wink, yet the gaze returned was anything but. 

“I’m sorry. Please don’t think that…” You meant it as a joke, you really did, but to Junhoe, that sentence carried weight he wasn’t sure he could handle. Hope and happiness vanished from those beautiful eyes as the weight of the past glossed over with grey cloud of storms. You couldn’t help but felt your heart break at the way he retreated back, so small and powerless. 

“Junhoe… I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I just, I want you to know that…” His mind scrambling, finding the right words to express his feeling but all his thought lost the second he felt your hand gently caressing peace back into his heart. In the few seconds he had stood there muttering and babbling his way through the mess his brain had melted into, you had found your way to his side, breaking all his expectation. Was this a dream? Junhoe thought as he let his arms wound around your body, feeling your warmth, your hands patting gently on the broadness of his back. 

“I don’t deserve this…” he muttered gently into the crook of your neck, nuzzling in so close, taking all he could before his time was up. 

“You do, everyone deserve a second chance.” 

In that very second, the world was right in Junhoe’s eyes. This, this was how everything was always supposed to be. Soft and gentle moments with you, no pain, no tear. He had been so desperately praying for this moment for so long, that just being here with you felt like a dream, and the world stood still, this moment frozen in time so he could savor every bit of it.

As you stood there, letting him have all the time he needed, feeling the neediness in his touches, and sincerity in his words, clarity washed over you with the force of the universe. You had thought healing meant taking time to yourself, to really let the hurtful words of the past settled in before you could release it back into the world as nothing but fading memories. Yet now, standing here in his arms, it had never been clearer that the last part of this journey your heart had been on toward recovery, the last 2% that was still faintly bruised needed Junhoe. He was the key to your last step toward a normal life, a life full of happiness. You both had finally broke down the first gate toward forever and there won’t be a thing to stop you from here on out.

In the end, your little plan of having a nice chat over coffee was thoroughly thwarted by the pesky hands of rush hours. You both might’ve been ready to take that first step into the future but apparently, the world had another plan. You favorite café had been teeming with cranky, caffeine craving office workers, either needing the boost for overtime or to stay awake long enough for a good night out. You glanced left, then right, only to start back at Junhoe with the saddest pout you could mustered up in disappointment. 

“I didn’t realized it was this busy, I’m sorry. I know you’d much prefer more privacy.” You apologized hastily, nearly being bulldozed out of the way by a large group of women pushing past you. 

“That’s alright, maybe next time.” He sighed regrettably, hiding a small grin rooted in just how much he wanted to squeez3 your cheek, and that the adorable little pout on your lips made him wanting to buy out the entire place just for you. “I hope I’m not crossing the line, but…” His pause had you at attention, sadden doe eyes staring back at him awaiting. “Would you perhaps want to get dinner with me? We both need to eat and that way, at least I can fulfill my duty as your companion?” Hope resting on each word, each smile, and each breath, sincerely hoping he’d abled to convinced you. 

“I supposed I could use some food right now. But I’m still paying though, so please go easy on my wallet!”

Nothing else he could do but let a soft defeated laugh falling through his parted lips, unable to protest for the honor of paying for dinner when you had already excitedly skipped off toward his car. Once more, his passenger seat was warmed with more than just to-go container, or his trusted briefcase. And although he hadn’t yet dare to reach over and grab your hand, just having you humming along to the radio was enough for now. 

In the end, after realizing that it was indeed a Friday night, and every decent restaurant in your price range had a waitlist longer than your life expectancy, you both ended up hovering over bags of fast food. Even if the quality of dinner was less than subpar, your conversation, your companion was more than enough to make up for. As laughter grew familiar, likes and dislikes became known, and the moon was once more high in the sky, it was time to part way. Although you both had driven from one end of the city to another in search of food, and even longer lingering about after all the food had been eaten, the night still ended far too soon. 

Under the pale moonlight, Junhoe once again feeling the weight of goodbye heavy on his heart. Feet dragging purposefully through the parking lot of your apartment, he wished time would stop so he’d have this moment forever. Goodbye had always been hard but now that he knew what it was like to spend time with you, no hurt, no pain hanging over your conversation, it seemed to be exponentially harder to watch you walk away. 

“Thank you for tonight, I enjoyed your company greatly!” You teased to hide the sadness in your heart, not yet ready to part way. 

 “No, thank you for spending time with me, and for dinner!” Neither you nor he was ready to leave, letting the soft cold air of the night lulled you both into a comforting silent. Dinner was done, drink finished, what other reason there be to keep him close?

“Can I be honest with you?” Somewhere deep within your heart, the tiniest speck of courage had reached up its hand to guide the truth from your lips. You voiced up timidly, staring at your feet shuffling in place, his hands hanging beside his body and you suddenly craved that feeling of being hold. 

“What’s wrong?” Concern laced his tone, more so since you couldn’t meet his eyes. 

“Earlier, when I said to not worry about me, and that I was down about Irene leaving town for a week… That was a lie. The real reason, well, it’s kind of silly…” You chuckled but it eased his heart not. The way you were staring off into the distant, avoiding his eyes, Junhoe was sure he had done something wrong but cursed his tiny brain for not remembering. 

“You can tell me anything.”

“I, I was really down because weekend meant that I won’t be seeing you for two entire days…”

“Oh, sweetheart…” He hoped the little nickname leaving his lips wouldn’t offend you, in truth, he really couldn’t help but utter it because you were, in all rights in the world, his sweetheart. Your confession left Junhoe spinning, heart skipping all the beats, and his soul rejoiced. If there were ever any reservation preventing his arms from weaving themselves around your body, all that had been banished. “I’m only ever a phone call away…” He held you so close, so close he swore he could feel your heart drumming in your chest. 

“But, it’s not the same as seeing you… Besides, I can’t just bother you any time of day because I’m clingy.” The whine leaving your lips left Junhoe both in awe, and in absolute confusion. It was so sweet, to think you longed to see him in the hours apart, well, it left his heart swelling so large, Junhoe felt as if all the air in his lungs had just vacated in unfathomable bliss. Yet how could you not realized that he would give his life to spend every possible second with you. It was mind boggling to think that you were still doubting just how much he want to be by your side. 

“Y/n, this whole time, I’ve been worried sick that you never want to see me again… And here you are, calling yourself clingy?” The shock rippling through his features was a fraction of the overwhelming emotion in his heart. “Sweetheart, I’d give my entire company away if it meant you’ll spend just an hour with me.” He hadn’t even known it was a possibility, still patiently waiting for the day when you’d come back to him, fearing you never wanted to come back. But now, soft laugh rumbling through his chest, pure bliss as he watched a satisfying smile bloomed on your lips before you leaned into his chest. 

“I mean, giving away your company is a bit overboard… I was just going to ask for a few hours of your time.” You chewed over the offer he had just playfully given, feeling yourself falling into Junhoe. 

“Does that mean I get to see you this weekend?” Happiness washing over his existent as you hummed a soft yes into his chest, no closer to relinquishing your hold over him. A smile Junhoe thought was gone the second you had walked away returned to his lips, far more brilliant than any smile before in his life. 

“As much as I want to stand here all night with you, it’s getting late. You should go get some rest, highly recommended if you were to put up with me all weekend long.” You jested with a small wink, forcing yourself to part way with the comfort of his hug.

“Nonsense!” Your carefree laughter shooing away the coldness of the night, and Junhoe wanted nothing more but to be the person that make you laugh for the rest of his life. “It is getting quite chilly, get in before you fall ill.” Junhoe stood there at the front of your apartment, waving until he could no longer see you. There was a point in time when that image weighed so heavy on his heart, watching your figure disappearing behind a closing door. But now, a new hope, new happiness replaced that heaviness and for once, Junhoe was excited for another sunrise. 

For the first time since that fateful night, you’ve awakened in solace and contentment. This journey of healing, of rediscovering yourself had been wonderful, and amazing in every way possible. You’ve processed the hurt and accepted Junhoe’s sincerity, but what you did too was reassuring yourself once more of your self-worth. No word, no man, no matter how amazing he might be, could ever take away any part of you or could ever again make you doubt yourself. You’ve accepted what he had done, the severity of it, and given yourself all the time it needed to finally move pass it without even a hint of resentment. It was a magnificent month, but it was time to move on, and you’ve never been more ready. 

Excitement fresh in your chest at the thought of the bind of boss and employee finally being broken. Gone were the prying eyes waiting for the next hot topic for gossip. Gone too were the stuffy façade you’ve had to put up and the constraint of time being placed on souls that wanted nothing more than to be free. You’ve got all the time in the world, all the time to get to know Junhoe as he is, the Junhoe beyond the impeccable suit and fearsome reputation. As you bounced excitedly by the elevator whirling toward its destination, a sudden dread filled your stomach when your eyes met your own reflection in the smudgy mirror. 

The you of beyond the the office wall and boring business jargon had been a mystery to Junhoe thus far. He know nothing of the you hiding behind the façade of the perfect worker you had so painstakingly created… And the heartbroken girl crying over lost love. This you, plain and nothing like the formidable woman respected by your subordinate, what if this boring and average you isn’t what Junhoe wanted afterall. 

As the overworked elevators door struggled to pull open, begrudgingly readying itself for another busy day, the atmosphere suddenly vacated the room. Lightheaded and nervous, each step taken toward the outside world was a step closer to your heart just finally flatlining, drumming erratically as your eyes adjusted to the bright sun. Yet the second your eyes laid upon that familiar smile, all the worry of the world vanished just as fast as it had intruded your perfect dream. There he stood, in the same spot you had waved him goodbye the night before, so perfect. He was in simple black jeans and white t-shirt, red plaid flannel hung loosely over his tone frame. The hair normally so neatly pushed back now soft and relaxed, framing his feature so perfectly. 

So long you’ve always wonder what this would feel like, the scene played out in nearly every drama you’ve watched… What would it be in real life, to have Junhoe waiting so patiently for your arrival, excitement bubbling so close to the surface, ready for the big first date. The emotion surging through your vein now, it was nothing short of your expectation and so much more as you rushed toward the handsome man, wholeheartedly awaiting you. 

“Sorry, did I make you wait long?” The elation in your heart soared to an unprecedented height as Junhoe wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you so tightly, he dispelled nearly all the nervousness previously occupied your soul. 

“Not at all! Even then, I wouldn’t mind waiting all day if it means I can see you.” Sighing gently, Junhoe reveled in the way you fit so perfectly in his hug. 

He stilled for a second, letting your giggle caressed joy into his heart. Once more you were occupying the passenger seat beside him, yet this time, this time he was brave enough to gently cup your small hand in his. His heart bloomed when a small bashful smile blossomed on your lips as his fingers intertwined in yours, holding so tightly as the wheels of his car rolled forward into your first date. 

Perhaps a bit silly, but your breath was taken away the very first time you laid your eyes upon the sight of him so effortlessly taking on the road. Despite the heartbreaking talk that had sent you off that night, his posture seemingly peaceful, one hand gently resting on the steering wheel, fingers tapping along to the beat of the thumping speaker. His eyes focus intensely on the paved road meandering the city street lined with high rises. Leaning back into his driver seat, Junhoe got his other arm resting precariously on the window’s ledge, fingers toying with those soft lips you’ve missed so much. Now and then, he’d glanced side way as he commanded the car to switch lane, giving you the perfect peek at his stunning profile illuminated so perfectly by the settling sun. Your eyes traced out the defined edges of his nose, down to those delectable lips, to the sharpness of his jawline. Never before had you seen a man so perfect, the sight beholding so surreal, it left you speechless. Soft brown locks no longer pristine, draping slightly over his forehead, creating an almost divine glow with the aid of the honey rays of the golden hour approaching. You thought nothing could’ve made the experience more perfect and your heart thrashed in its cage for that moment to last forever. 

How wrong you were then, because this very second as you leaned in close, taking in a long whiff of the sultry mix of his intoxicating cologne and something very Junhoe, your soul slipped into a euphoric high. The way his hand wrapping so tightly around your own, the smile mesmerizingly beautiful on his lips as he spoke of his morning left you in the highest state of happiness. The longer you let yourself lost in that sweet voice and amazing smile, the more you want for nothing else but to spend the rest of your days just like this, by his side. 

“You’re staring at me quite bit there, sweetheart.” Junhoe mused gently, a smirk already tugging at the corner of his lips when you jumped slightly from your seat.  “Do I have toothpaste on my face? I spent so long getting ready too, shame…” He feigned a pout, knowing full well just what… why you had been staring so intently at his every movement. 

“I- Don’t mind me.” You said with a small cough as if it could clear away the embarrassment settling fast on your rosy cheeks. You forced your eyes ahead, shrinking further into the soft leather seat as Junhoe chuckled gently.

“I can get used to it…” He sighed so gently, so suddenly, you were left ogling once more in confusion. “The staring, I can get used to it if that meant you’re next to me all the time.” He glanced your way, smiled brightly when a tiny grin spread on your lips before you caught yourself staring once more, retreating back to your stoic stare at the road ahead. A hearty chuckle rumbled through his chest and something sounding awful lot like “cute” lost in the laugh, whisked away by the contentment in the air. 

With each tick of the clock passing by, your heart was reassured more and more that it was ready to move on, the thought of your shared painful past no longer plaguing your thoughts. All you could feel was happiness as junhoe so proudly held your hand in his, leading you through the day. Along with the cloud nine of elation, a bit of pride risen in your chest when soft whispers and small gasps of perhaps admiration, perhaps envy, when he had walked you through the busy restaurant. Yet at the same time, you couldn’t help but cowered further into his side, feeling the stares of other diners on your back as you sauntered by.

“What’s wrong?” Ever so observant, worries glossed over his eyes feeling you huddling so tightly into him.

“You’d think I’m used to being the attention of the room by now, given just how many meeting I’ve held… But…” A nervous chuckle rattled through your chest, glancing about at the still prying eyes, a few whispers praising his look reached your ears. “I know they mostly are staring at you, and I mean, I don’t blame them but…”

“But you’re uncomfortable…” No sooner than that little nod had met his gaze, Junhoe already called out to the hostess, requesting a private dining room. And though you protested, quoting it was far too much trouble for something so trivial, he only smiled into the small kiss pressed against your temple. 

“I’m sorry, forgive me.” He expressed his concern sweetly, hand squeezing yours tightly. 

“No, there’s nothing you should be sorry for. It was just kind of surprising, I guess. I suppose I’ll have to get used to it, especially when the gossip squad catch wind of us…” You could sense another apology was about to fall from his lips, the way his gaze faltered, lips pressed into a thin line. “I can get used to it, if it meant that you’d be next to me all the time.” The sentiment he had shared with you just moments ago once more floating contently in the air, drawing a blinding smile from Junhoe. 

“Wait, gossip squad? I have something like that in my company?” As contentment settled over the small room protecting the new souls embarking on the journey toward a budding relationship, his attention drawn to the topic you had just raised. Normally he wasn’t one to be privy to nor care enough to learn of the useless gossip buzzing in the floors below his. Yet if it pertains to the love of his life, it went without saying that he was all ears. 

“Yes, they’re mostly harmless… They just spend a lot of time…” Your little pause got Junhoe at the edge of his seat, awaiting the word being so carefully select within your mind. “Lot of time discussing other people’s business. Irene and I named them so after the 3rd time they tried to loop us in on some dating nonsense between a few workers.”

“Well, I’ve never been against my employee dating each other, so there’s not much to say about that, is there? I mean the rule book even said so, you can date, but if it interferes with company’s business then there’s consequences” How could this man be so innocent, you’ve got no clue. Yet as you sat back and watched him pondered the politic of dating gossip, a smile melted on your lips just hearing his pure thoughts and logic as to why there should be no gossip on dating under his roof. “I thought it was very straightforward, what else is there to gossip about?”

“I don’t think they’re much concern with HR issues… More just trying to be in everyone’s business.” You sighed, a small kiss placed atop his hand. 

“Should I do something about it? …Since I assume, they were the one that called you… You know… I honestly, when I stood there listening to them, I nearly die from the words they spoken.” The word he’d never use to describe you echoed in his heart along with the pain so anguished on your features. 

“You’re sweet. But I’m okay, I swear. They don’t bother me much, though I can’t speak for Irene or the people they’ve name dropped.” You winced recalling the many times Irene near tear her hair out just being within earshot of the squad. 

Even as amazing courses began to fill the table, delectable scent permeating through every crack and crevice of the small room, your conversation continued to blossom, laugher echoed vibrantly. Likes and dislikes shared, you learned more of Junhoe in the short hour spent over the feast befitted for royal than you had with many others over the years. All the preconception you had of the man completely out the window as the clock ticked on. The man you once thought as methodical was so effortlessly easygoing and sweet, he left you wondering if the boss you dealt with day in, day out at work was his twin, or even a robot substitute. The way he laughed so carefree, letting the sweet sound lulled your heart toward joy made you question each and every time you had seen a scowl on his lips, as if his harsh tone were nothing but hallucination. No man, none, you’ve encountered possessed a smile more brilliant than that of Koo Junhoe. He could brighten anyone day by just smiling their way and it made your heart tingled to know that he always smiles for you. The meal soon came to an end with more boxed away for to-go than eaten, Junhoe sheepishly admitted to having order far too much for just two people, not knowing exactly what you’d like. Needless to say, dessert too came in an array varying from decadent chocolate to sweet fruits. And though you knew even just half the bill would probably cost you your right arm and 3 kidneys, you insisted upon pay for it anyways. Your little protest to pay was muffled out with a big hug, he whispered softly that you could pay for coffee before tugging you into his chest. The meal had been paid for long before your nose had even detected that wonderful scent of seafood mingling with a faint, distant trace of steak and potatoes. 

As you both once more rumbling down the street in his car, stomach happy and heart full, Junhoe steered you off into destination unknown with a gentle grin on his lips, excited that you hadn’t even once voice any concern despite not knowing at all his plan. The endless buildings lining your drive soon turned into rows of trees, lining the paved road with a refreshing sight of green, dotting with tiny blooms of colors. 

“Just a small question…” As the groves of tree grew dense and air so refreshing it had begun purifying your lungs of all the nasty of the city, your curiosity grew. And though your mind was plagued with questions, your heart remained content and happy despite the fact that you were warily studying the surrounding. “Am I being kidnapped?” Your small question elicited a laugh from the man that had been happily holding your hand in silent till this point. 

“I was wondering when you’d finally be concern.” He mused gently with a tiny kiss on the back of your hand.

“No, no. Not concern, just curious.” You corrected, shrinking in embarrassment when he once more called you cute. 

“We’ve been staying in the city for most part… Well, my office to be exact. I thought a change of scenery would be good switch up for us.” 

As the last syllable fell from his lips, Junhoe pulled the car over, entering a parking lot with just as much greenery as the road leading here, though there were much more flowers lining the path. Your eyes widen at the sight beholding. Seemingly endless rows of all colors possible in nature draped themselves over the hillside as if mother nature had painted over the brown patches of Earth with her favorite hues. A smile plastered on your lips as you took in lungs full of fresh air, sweet scent of blossoms filled your olfactory with delights. Your eyes widen at the dainty petals swaying in the air, flowers and color combination you’ve never before seen in your life stood tall and proud under the honey rays of the sun, then stare back at Junhoe with all the excitement your heart could muster up. He only smiled in return, taking your hand once more in his, Junhoe pulled out two tickets from the safe confinement of his pocket. 

You were on the verge of being surprise for just a split second but of course, what else could you expect other than total preparedness from your dear date. By this point, honestly, it’d be more shocking if he hadn’t already paid for your dinner for the next three weeks. If your breath had been taken away before, your mind was now blown at the scenery unfolding itself as you both passed through the entrance. Seemingly never-ending tunnel of purple wisteria draping, tickling your nose with its wonderful scent. As you both sauntered down the path of purple ombre itself into white, you were greeted with the sight of a magnificent glasshouse bursting with vibrancy. Clouds of intense red and delicate yellow blending themselves with puff of dainty pink and refreshing green creating the most delightful hanging garden you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Just beyond the crystal clear wall of the glasshouse, you could make out swirls of white and baby pink, mingling in the soft breeze with more shades of pink peonies than you could ever hope to named. 

“How have I lived this long without knowing this place exist… I’m, I’m speechless! Thank you so much.” You exclaimed, ecstatic when Junhoe had nudged you on, letting you know there were so much more to see.

“I’m glad you like it. I was honestly so nervous about bringing you here.”

“I’m more than just like it, I love it, so so much. How often do I even get to see flowers in such monumental quantity? There’s so many here I don’t even know the name of!” Appreciation falling from your lips as you bent over, letting the soft petals and wonderful fragrant of a velvety smooth rose, red so deep it nearly appeared black, tickling your nose. 

“Any time you want.” Nothing bring Junhoe more joy than the sight of you enjoying yourself, smiling so brightly, knowing that he was the reason. 

“Hmm?” His answer so simple yet it left you wondering if behind that reply, a deeper meaning hidden. 

“Any time you want to see the flowers, I’ll be your driver.” 

Junhoe was so close, so close to placing a small kiss on the smile spreading on your lips but the reservation of just where he stands still plaguing his heart. Even though this very second, you were reaching for his hand as you tugged him along the colorful path toward the garden warmed by the golden sun. Another hour of wandering the seemingly infinite paths leading to different exhibitions, the next one better than the last, you both decided to rest your worn soles on the side of a small stream, basking in the soft sunlight.

As you awaited the return of your date, watching as tiny pink petals floating as if tiny fairies dancing in the crisp air, your heart began to drum erratically. The entire day had filled with the best food and the best sight, all the things to distract your mind from the implication of just what this date would mean for your relationship with Junhoe. But now, with nothing but the calming stream, painted pink by the many cherry blossom trees rooted along the bank, no time could be better for matters of the hearts. As junhoe settled down beside you, a picnic basket in hand and the brightest smile on his lips, you were ready to continue on this journey, hand in hand, hearts melting into one. 

“What’d you bring?” Sliding over to give him space, your eyes filled with delight as Junhoe began pulling out treats from the woven basket. 

“Just a few sweet, and tea.” Comfortable right beside you, Junhoe handed over a plate of cake.

“You haven’t had enough sweet yet?” You teased, feeding him a big piece of strawberry before taking a bite yourself. 

As the comforting silent of hearts beating as one settling over your small outing once more, your mind continued to buzz with the curiosity of the man you were so close to call yours. You let your eyes traced over each of his sharp features, really admiring the way he glowed so ethereally under the golden rays as he let himself immersed in nature. You wondered of the pain he went through in the past, the pain that had led him to be so cruel to your heart the second doubt had sowed its seed in his heart. You wondered too, one day, would you be able to help him heal. 

“Junhoe…” You called softly, to which he let a soft hum fallen from his lips in reply. “I- I don’t know if this is crossing the line, and I’m sorry if it is but…”

“What is it, sweetheart?” Concern sprinkling itself across his features, hand inching closer to yours as he let himself lost in the sight of you, finger gently tracing the line of your face.

“You’ve said before that you got burn by women in your past… And I don’t mean to pry but…” 

“You want to know what happened… I get it. After what I did to you, it’d only be natural for you to be curious.” A soft smile bloomed as Junhoe gently cup your cheek in his hand, reveled in the way you leaned into his touch, placing a small kiss on his palm. 

“You don’t have to if it’s uncomfortable, I just… Yes, I’m curious but sometimes I wonder if, if I’ll ever be enough to help you move on from something that left you so scarred.” You got his hand in yours, grabbing on so tightly as if transferring all the love your soul could give, hoping it’d be enough to sooth his heart. You knew the scars of the past won’t ever fade away, but if you could even just for small parts, help him forget about it…

“Y/n don’t even think like that. Just you being here with me, giving me your precious time, it already means so much. What happened in the past, I won’t say that it doesn’t affect me anymore. Evidently, it already came between us once before and nothing I can do could make up for it. But just having you close to me, seeing you so happy, knowing you’re smiling because of me… I’d trade my whole life to have that.” As the sweet words continued to fall from his lips, Junhoe tugged you in between his legs, wrapping his arms around you so tightly, tears began brimming your lashes from just how loved you felt. 

“I used to dream about the day when someone could make me feel so loved, nothing else in the world matter… And thank you for giving me just that.” Junhoe whispered against the kiss he placed upon your cheek, as you basked in the way his fingers gently digging into your hair, loosening all the emotional knots that were holding you back from fully letting go. 

“About my past…” Junhoe was first to break the solace fallen over your restful form, still holding onto him so tightly.

“You don’t have to…” You sighed, tracing your index over the tall bridge of his nose, down to those lips you’ve been craving for a taste since that fateful night. “I’m sorry I brought it up…”

“I need to.” He replied simply. You nodded, understood fully the turmoil in his heart as you settled back down beside him. 

His words took you back to the time of young love, fresh face and barely out of high school, knew nothing yet of the pain of heartbreak. Junhoe was much less wary of the dangerous world, naively believing still in the good of other. It was the spring of his freshman year when a young Junhoe had caught the eyes of a senior. She was beyond beautiful and was loved, chased after by guys and girls alike. He hadn’t thought much when the she had introduced herself, though he did think it was strange for the princess of the dance department to be so interested in a business nerd like himself. But he was just a boy with a golden heart, questioning naught her intention nor the bedroom eyes she had given him. With each tick of the clock, he was lost, his heart was no longer beating for himself and his soul longed for each second it gets to spend near her. His days consumed by the lingering scent of her perfume, pressed deep into his skin from where she had touched, lost in the tingling sensation left by the kiss she had given him as a morning greeting. Nights were filled with endless texts and sometimes even content silent over the phone. Dates after dates, weekend trips soon followed. Even after she had stolen his heart, entrapped his soul, and eventually taken away too, his innocent… Never once did she made it clear what they were. But he was happy with just that, blissfully ignorant of just how much pain he was about to be in, showering her with loves and gifts, all the things a young boy in love could do to appease his heart’s desire. 

It all came raining down when he had arrived at the step of her dorm room the night of her birthday, endless gifts in tow, let in by her roommate who had always given him such pity expression and he never understood why. As he inched closer to the door he hoped held his love, the elation that had been bubbling in his chest exploded in anger and pain as her bedroom door creaked open. Junhoe was overwhelmed in emotion, every sense, sight, sound, scent, everything was overwhelmed by the he betrayal of someone he loved. She was wearing the expensive set he had bought her, letting another man loved her the way only he should be able to. Shocked, he had screamed out her name, watched as the stranger tumbled his way through the door, hastily pulling over the clothes that had been strewn messily across the floor. The man was out of there before his anger could settled into his fists, and in many ways, perhaps it was good that he did for Junhoe wasn’t sure what he’d do in that moment of blinding anger. He didn’t scream, didn’t say much for that matter, just stared. He stared at her, every inch of the milky skin he had spent hours loving, stained with the scent of another man. She begged at first, then she cried as if it was somehow his fault, that he had pushed her to do this. Finally, when he could take no longer the nonsense spilling from her lips, Junhoe tossed carelessly onto the floor the bouquet of flowers he had spent so much time and thought to pick out all her favorites. She tugged at his jacket, on her knees, begging for him not to leave, professing her love… Something he would’ve done had the night worked out. But he couldn’t take the betrayal, its poison already coloring his heart black as he tossed her way too, the many gifts he had prepared. She showed up at his dorm, his work, lingering on the path he’d take to school, but never again did he look her way. 

And though the pain of being cheated on hurt, it never did deter him from the quest to find love. Why should he keep himself from finding true love just because someone thought he wasn’t enough. Yet as birthdays passed and his free time grew short having taken on the mantel for his dad, it weighted down on Junhoe that love wasn’t so easily found and soon, his heart grew cold. He dated, just for the hope of his parents to someday have a grandchild. Some would last a few months, others, mere weeks before he was moving on. And when he had fell in love again, it was a love that was doomed to fail from the start…this time, he was entirely at fault.

He had met her at the old college he had attended, the same one that had given him so much but at the same time, took nearly all his heart. She was the new business professor, begged him incessantly to give a speech to her students, to motivate them because even if Junhoe had come from old money, he still had the mindset anyone would kill for to possess. It was just supposed to be a half hour of speech and a half hour of answering the burning questions of young minds. Yet he found himself lingering, even well into the 2nd hour after the last of the student had shuffled back into the world. There was no doubt that she’d have made a fine partner but that wasn’t what she was looking for. As independent as a person could possibly get, she didn’t need a man to live and she made that very clear from the beginning. He didn’t think that matter then, and definitely didn’t matter as he pounded her into submission atop the surface of the small desk occupying her office. She wasn’t looking for a relationship and neither did he. All they needed was someone they could use to fuck away the pent-up frustration of work… Or just to fuck, no reason really needed.  Yet as the stains of their sinful encounters grew from just their apartments to late nights at her office… His office, early mornings too at the lecture hall, and even countless times in their cars, something stirred in his heart. She was attractive, body that left him aching in the hours they were apart. But the way she spoke, the way she carried herself, it left him dumbly admiring just how mature she was compared to his first love, compared to the women he dated. No one that came before could understand him the way she did, and being a business professor, she understood too his work and passion. So before he could continue down the path that was slowly devolving into something much more complicated, he ended things. No lingering goodbye, not even one last night to end things with a bang, he just left. He knew the feeling he harbored wasn’t something she asked for, something that was solely his fault… something he dealt with entirely on his own and in the end, it made him callous to following his heart, drove him from dreaming of having that someone he could love with his entire heart and soul. 

“Then I met you…” A sigh of relief huffed from his lips, the weight of the world off his shoulders now that he could come clean, bear his all for you to see. 

“I’m really sorry” 

“Don’t be! I was instantly drawn to you the very beginning despite being wary still of just how big of a mess my heart could get me into. I did try. I really did, sweetheart, to stay away from you but, how could I? You’re literally everything I’ve ever wanted and more.” He adored the way every little thing could get you to smile, and how even after seemingly receiving the scolding of your life for something that wasn’t even your fault, your spirit wasn’t at all broken. Even when he had apologized for the wrongful scolding, a smile was still on your lips, simply stating that teamwork meant looking out for each other and you were just as much at fault. 

“You’re too sweet. I’m not that great.” A bashful giggle left your lips, not used to receiving endless compliment from him, and quite honestly, you didn’t think you’ll ever. 

“But you are! And I can’t say thank you enough for giving me the time of day.” Before the last syllable could leave his lips, you already sprawled yourself across the way, with all the intension of pulling the surprised man into a hug. Yet as clumsy as you were, things rarely worked out and this very second, you were atop his body, having just tackled him onto the ground thankfully lined with plushiness of soft, green grass. Your cheeks glowed bright with embarrassment as Junhoe heaved a hearty laugh, loving the weight of your body resting on his own. As laughter melted into the sweet scent of flowers and fresh air, satisfaction of being with one another settled once more, leaving you breathless, gasping for air from the way Junhoe was so lovingly gazing into your soul. Brushing a few strands of hair away from his eyes, you let your thumb lingered on the hollow of his cheek, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips when he chased it with a kiss. 

“Junhoe…” Your little uttered of his name got his attention fully on you, swallowing hard at the way your gaze dancing between his eyes and his lips. You got your lower lips tugged between your teeth, hesitation playing at the tip of your tongue but when he let his hands constricted around your waist, every bit of reservation was dislodged. “Junhoe…” You whispered once more, feeling your heart practically jumping out of your chest and soul soaring so high amongst the cloud. The butterflies that had been gently tickling your stomach were now fluttering a storm, leaving you breathless. You knew what you were about to say, and you knew too that he felt the same. Yet there was no helping the nervousness pumping through your veins, tearing your heart apart. So instead of letting those words you had been wanting to say for so long fall from your lips, you let your eyes fluttered close and with all the determination of your heart, pressed a small kiss onto his lips. It was so fleeting, small and delicate but it conveyed perfectly your feeling as Junhoe let his hand carding into your hair, shielding your head before flipping you onto your back. It was his turn to let out his feeling, letting his lips met yours once more but this time the kiss lingered into so much more. He guided you, happy as you molded your lips against his, chasing when he parted way just for a second. An entire park filled with the prettiest flowers at the height of spring and they couldn’t compare to you. He let small kisses falling onto your lips as he admired the gentle curves of your features, how soft you felt under his hold. He kissed you until his lungs were spent and even then, parting only for a fraction of a second before feeling your needy grasp luring him back in. Junhoe tested the water, letting a fleeting swipe of his tongue ran across your lower lips, enjoyed the way you immediately bent to his will, parting your lips to let him in. You were more than willing to greet him, letting him taste all you have to offer, heavy pants mingling in the air. 

“Junhoe…” You whispered once more, feeling the force of another kiss pressed into your soul.

“Yea, baby?” The term of endearment he had been craving to say tumbled out, sending jolts of electricity to your heart. 

“I love you.” Junhoe didn’t think his heart could be any fuller, skipping anymore beats as it just did the last few minutes, but he was so wrong. As the declaration of your love echoed into the air, vibrating through his chest so clearly, Junhoe was suddenly lost, lost for words, lost all the air in his lungs, and lost the control of his heart. Once more kisses raining down upon your skin, fluttering against each and every single of your features as the happy man celebrated the ending of his long journey. 

“I love you, too, so much.” He whispered over and over again, letting it mingle with words of shock, in disbelief still that you had just said those words. “Does it mean I’m officially out of the dog house now?”

“Ah… Yes, that definitely mean you’re officially out of the dog house.” Rising off the ground just enough to press a small kiss to his cheek, you let the soft giggle of the man that was now officially yours caressing solace back to your heart.

“Well, if that’s the case… Miss Y/n, will you be my girlfriend?” The question he had been waiting to ask, the one that left his soul glowing with delight, the one he had been safely storing inside his heart since that fateful night finally melting into a kiss, finally got to see the light of day. You nodded, furiously and fervidly, feeling tears running down your cheeks once more but this time it was nothing short of heavenly joy. “I’m never letting you go, ever again. You know that right, baby?” Gently wiping away the tears still hot against your cheeks, Junhoe let the words that set your heart ablaze fallen from his lips. There was nothing else you could do but nod because all your vocabulary, all the words you had learned in the short years being alive, it all vacated the second he had let those sweet words out from his heart. 

As the soft breeze of spring grew brisk and the golden hours had begun to sprinkle its brilliant sparkles over the entire garden, Junhoe proposed it was about time to pack up and leave. As the familiar path leading back toward the real world, you bid goodbye to each of your favorite flowers, wondering just when you’ll be able to visit again.

“I used to visit here so often…” His words got you perked up with excitement, yet that excitement soon faded as he continued. “But now, I don’t think I’ll be coming by much anymore.”

“But, why?” Your little whine nearly left his heart paralyzed. He knew you were hanging on to each word like a lifeline, teasing you on purpose but he definitely was not prepared for the reaction you had just given. 

“Because, why would I need to pay to see flowers, when I’ve got the prettiest one right beside me.” His statement left you frozen in confusion, doe eyes staring back as your heart doing its best to process the words. When the realization of what he had meant finally sunk into your heart, a tiny gasp left your lips along with a bashful grin. “Too cheesy?” 

“No… just, perfect…” Words stuttering from your lips, not at all hiding the fact that you were blushing intensely at the sly compliment. 

“I’m going have heart palpitation if you keep up being this cute.” 

And he was serious, Junhoe wasn’t sure how much more he could take of the soft rose coloring your cheeks seemingly every single time he had looked your way. Never before had he experienced this kind of love, the kind that left him cheesing like a kid and seemingly closer to death every single second passed because he could cope no longer with how adorable every single damn thing you do were. Sure, his very first love had been a good one, no matter how horrid the ending had been. But this, this was a whole new territory that Junhoe had just trekked into and he loved every single second of it, loved that it was you who were holding his hand through it all. Even with all the pain, all the misunderstanding, and tears, being with you was as effortless as breathing. And as he lowered the volume of the radio down, a smile broke over his lips watching your peaceful self drifting off into dreamland in the passenger side of his car. He wasn’t sure why or how, but Junhoe knew, as sure as the sun golden rays illuminating the day and the moon’s silvery wisp calming the night, he knew this would be the one to last.

As the cloud blended themselves into gorgeous swirls of gold and pink, the endless rows of trees and beautiful dainty petals ceased to exist as if the garden was nothing more than a beautiful daydream. Once more the bustling sidewalk and concrete jungle lined the road leading back home, once more sadness embraced his heart, unable to part way from such a wonderful day. Though he knew you were now his, and all the tangled of the hearts had resolved itself into a magnificent story ending, he’ll never get used to saying goodbye. As the familiar view of your front gate once more materializing, Junhoe heaved a heavy sigh before gently lulling you back to reality. 

 “Did you have fun today, love?” Lingering, Junhoe was buying all the time he could, all the seconds you could offer while nuzzling so deep within his chest. 

“So much fun! Thank you!” Little did he know, you too were buying time, stalling as you brainstormed the perfect reason to ask him in. “You have to let me repay you somehow. That was honestly the best date I’ve ever been on in a long while. Thank you so much.”

“Baby…” He sighed, unable to process still the luck the universe had bestowed on his undeserving self. “There’s no need to pay me back. I’m lucky enough already that you gave me the time to have the first date I’ve planned for us since the first time we kissed.”

“Oh… So, does that mean you’ll say no to staying over for dinner?” The little pout you had very purposefully tugged onto your lips knowing full well he couldn’t refuse the offer left Junhoe spinning. The way your sentence came out nearly a whine, the way your gaze fallen onto the floor, you could’ve ask him for his life this very second and he’d say yes. 

“Well, that… I didn’t think you were offering that when you say… I, of course I want to stay and have dinner with you.” A sheepish grin on his lips, Junhoe stammered an answer you already knew he would. A loud cheer erupted as you tugged his hand into yours, dragging him along. Junhoe felt himself soaring amongst the golden cloud of sunset, feeling the scars in his heart slowly vanishing as he stepped through the gate he had for so long wondering if he’ll ever get the chance to break through. 

As solace gently blanketing over the darken living room, illuminated by only the flashing lights of the TV, a sense of contentment warming in your chest as you leaned further into Junhoe, nosing at the lingering scent of cologne mixing in with your own perfume, leftover from an entire day of fun. The scent of dinner still lingering about your apartment though the food had long since stuffed away in the safe confinement of your stomach and his. Junhoe had sprawled out, making himself as home and nearly covering the entire length of your small couch as he relaxed into its soft cushion. No doubt if Irene were to arrive home this very second, she’d faint from the sight of the big boss resting on the couch, casual and completely relaxed.  Perfectly happy and comfortable, he pulled you into his lap, letting you lay gently atop his body with your face resting on his tone chest. One hand on the small of your back, he let the other carding gentle delight through your hair. Every now and then, when the movie had halted to a slow, a small kiss would bloom on the crown of your head, hush whispered of love tickled your ears. It felt strangely domestic, as if this had always been your nightly routine, as if you had been married for years. 

Slowly, even the tune of his favorite movie could no longer kept his attention as Junhoe let it turn to you. The way you were clinging onto him so tightly, sighing contently now and then as you pressed a small kiss onto his chest. No longer did Junhoe feared the future but rather curious, anticipating the funs to come and the adventures. Yet there was still a small part that that still left the flight of wasps in his stomach thrashing their wings violently. So rather than turning a blind eye just as he had so many times in the past, Junhoe decided it was best to lay everything out in the open, God knows this relationship had always thrived on honesty. He let his index tapping gently at the volume button, reeling you back from the fantasy of you and him in the morning after that had wrapped your mind in for the good part of the movie. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked, propping yourself up just enough to peer over at those handsome features, a small kiss to assure your soul that Junhoe was still very much here in the present. 

“Nothing, I just, there’s something on my mind that’s kind of bothering me.” He sighed, gently nudging for you to sit up before he too reluctantly peeling himself away from comfort and happiness. 

“Junhoe, you’re scaring me.” A frown already heavy on your lips as you crawled into his arms, settling in between his legs. Much to your surprise, your dear man simply heaved a soft chuckle, locking you in his arms before letting kisses rained down your cheeks. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry.” He apologized with a big kiss to your lips, loving the way you only snuggled in closer. “It’s just, there’s still the issue of your resignation and how we’re going to tell everyone about us.”

“Oh… That.” You sighed, admittedly already forgotten about the technicality of it all, and honestly how could you not when Junhoe had given you the best first date of your life. “Well, I won’t be super thrill about it but…” Your words got him hook, intently listening to every breath and every idea. “If you’re worry about what they’ll say, I can always transfer to the smaller branch!” You did your best to be cheerful about it, to ease the weight off of his shoulders. But the thought of not being able to have lunch with him every day, that wasn’t a thought you were particularly happy about. “…And you don’t think it’s a good idea.” A drawn-out sigh accompanied with the biggest frown on his lips told you he wasn’t a fan either.

“Not being able to see you every day, plus sending you right back to Johnny…” He scoffed, mildly discontent that you’d be eating lunch every day with his rival instead.

“Oh, come on. Poor Johnny didn’t do anything wrong!” You laughed with a soft pat to his chest, though that only earned a protective hold around your entire body. 

“He kissed you! How is that nothing wrong?!” Borderline between a bear hug and bone crushing, Junhoe let playful giggle and endless claims to your heart falling. 

“On my forehead! And well, technically I was single then and he didn’t know we promised each other a date.” Refusing to part way with the niche in the crook of your neck, Junhoe only nuzzled in further at the prodding of your fingers into his side, eliciting harsh gasps and heavy laughter. “Baby!” 

“Okay, fine. I surrender!” Had it not for the backrest of the couch supporting his weight, junhoe would’ve already tumbled onto the ground, exhausted from laughter. “I know he didn’t do anything wrong, don’t worry. I just, I’m so used to seeing you every day, even if it’s just meeting and boring business jargons… something is better than nothing.” Reaching out, Junhoe let his hand cupping your cheek, a teasing smirk blossomed on his lips when you chased his retreating palm with your kisses. “I don’t care who say what about me, I’m worry about you. The last thing I need is for the gossip squad or whatever they’re call” Waving a dismissive hand, the thought of cracking down on company gossip once more plaguing his thoughts. “ I don’t want them discrediting everything you’ve worked so hard for as sleeping with the boss.” His eyes rolled so far back, Junhoe nearly got a glimpse of his brain scoffing at that phrase. He hated it, ‘sleeping with the boss’. It was a phrase that haunted his last name, a legacy that forever stained the honesty in his father and in him. He had lost count of the times his mom would sigh in discontent that yet another secretary, another supervisor was fired because in their eyes money was worth so much more than the happiness of a family, than their own moralities. He too had lost count of the times he’d glanced up at a meeting to see a seductive smirk, the tone they’d use on him, or how they’d undo the top button of their shirt, hiking their skirt up just a bit further before stepping into his office. Little did they all knew, he was watching, disgust at another attempt of furthering their career with the least amount of work. Junhoe wasn’t a hard to please boss, anyone in the company with a good work ethic would know that for raises weren’t a rare occurrent, even if a raise in rank was rarely given out. Yet there was no stopping the few that’d much rather take the short cut, shitting on the effort of thousands other. That wretched conversation he had overheard, sure it tickled his heart with aches that he was really so low in their eyes. But it pulverized his heart and crushed his soul to think of the implication that had on you. 

“To be quite frank with you, that night I was prepared for the worst the second I decided to follow you into that elevator. Yet when you had asked me for a date, the implication of what that meant for my future, as silly as it sounds, I thought about it. That night, I couldn’t stop thinking about how sweet you were and how amazing our date would be. But at the same time, that nagging in the back of my mind, to throw away everything I’ve done for a date, what they’d say... Even after everything that happened between us, all the pain, all the confusion, everything led me to one conclusion.” 

“What is it, sweetheart?” Junhoe let the warmth of his hand gently caressed comfort back into your soul, taking in all the happened, all that you went through. 

“No matter what I do, where I am, if they want to talk, they’ll talk. There’s nothing we can do about it and you know what, I don’t care!” Hands thrown up in the air, you shrugged away all the worries. 

“You don’t?” Your nonchalant attitude was giving his heart a boost of happiness, though that didn’t stop a surprise gasp from escaping his lips. 

“Yea! No fuck given!” Your excited grunt of victory got Junhoe grinning as if he had just won the lottery. “But I still might come to you and cry though if they get really mean… Is that okay?”

“I- Why are you so cute? Yes, of course that’s okay! You’re not allow to cry when I’m not there okay? That way I can give you hugs.” Your little request got his heart doing flips, bouncing off the wall of with joy. Suddenly all the pain of the past, all those lonely nights lying awake wondering if you were with someone else, if you were even thinking of him at all, that all vanished without a trace. It was as if this had always been his life. Weekdays filled with the adorable smiles you flashed him on passing by and the late hours sharing your thoughts over a dinner. Weekend would be times for amazing dates and time spent just enjoying being in each other’s arms. Everything felt so natural that Junhoe could hardly believe this was only the first real date you had gone on together. “Is it safe to assume I can now shred your resignation letter?” 

“Yes, assume so!”

The last knot in Junhoe’s heart finally untangled, leaving it free to float into the cloud nine of new love, true love. Though there was still the issue of appeasing the angry mother bear Irene, Junhoe was sure in time, she’ll come to understand the love he had for you. After so much heartache of the puppy love that was tainted by betrayal and a true love that never was, all Junhoe prayed for was to have someone to love and protect him the same way he’d dedicate his life to them. And even if he didn’t write true love off as something of a myth, a Hollywood creation to sell movie and the commercialism of Valentine’s day, he had submitted to the belief that it will never happen for him. Yet here you were, right in front of him with your arms snaking protectively around his body, the bliss of the first date that had yet to end still surrounding you both. You were so close, so, so close that he could still made out the way your lips had tasted so wonderfully minty-cherry and the way your heart beating so steadily against his chest. Junhoe got his hand tangled in your hair, fingers pressuring soft, satisfying groans from your lips. 

“Baby…” A hushed call for your attention left his lips but you couldn’t part way, letting your nose nudging into the soft skin of his neck still. “Y/n…” He called once more, this time earned a soft hum from your lips. 

The little grumble leaving your lips as you forced yourself away from the warmth he shared drawn out a chuckle from him. Yet as soon as your eyes met his, a smile instantly blossomed on your lips from the loving gaze he already had on you. The solace of a quiet night taking over your humble abode once more leaving the soft breaths echoing through the space as you both admired one another. Those days when the only smile shared was timid ones, full of uncertainties and reservation were long gone as you let yourself unashamedly studying, let your eyes caressed each handsome feature. He too, studying the way your eyes crinkled well before a smile could bloom on your lips. He adored how every time you’d get so lost in your own world, the softest, prettiest smile would spread on your lips and you wouldn’t even be aware of it. 

“I love you so much.” Junhoe sighed against your lips, reveling in the way your lips so soft, melting into his at the slightest pressure. 

“I love you.”

You replied simply, letting your arms hooking around his neck, pulling him closer. The happy ending neither of you had thought possible was finally happening and your hearts overwhelmed with joy. Now that the weight of hurtful words and restriction of boundaries had ceased to exist, your souls could finally enjoy the refreshing air of a new beginning without a single care in the world. It felt so much like those summer days spent by the beach, feeling the gentle coastal breeze toying with your hair. The sun shining so brightly, crisp and warm, instilling the most heavenly of delight in your heart as the refreshing waves of cool ocean water lapping at your feet. 

Yet the second Junhoe let his lips pressed against yours, all you could see was the vibrancy of autumn’s best leaves, fiery red and vivid yellow burning your souls with all his passion. It started out so gentle, soft lingering pecks, mulling over the taste, the plushness of each other’s lips as if soft breeze dancing amongst the colorful trees. 

With each tick of the clock, the innocent of new love soon devolving down the familiar road of roughness as lust returned, leaving you breathless as he bit down on your lower lips, tugging it in between his teeth. His touch grew firm, no longer was it the gentleness of shy autumn wind but the harshness of winter’s dark storm. His fingertips digging into your flesh, grabbing all he could but that did nothing to satisfy his craving of you. And though pants had grown heavy, frustration harden further with every touch, it was nothing of the abuse he had left the first night you had embarked on this insane adventure of the hearts. There was something more, rooted far deeper than either of could’ve imagine for each fleeting touch, each groan of each other’s names affected your bodies and souls in ways unfathomable. As his kisses grew sloppy, trailing down the lines of your jaw down to your collar bones, all thoughts vanished at the way he made you feel. It wasn’t just surface pleasure, neither did it stop at the volcano threatening to erupt in your core. You could feel the gratification within your soul, your mind transcending into a reality where nothing in the world could stop you from loving Koo Junhoe. Relenting all power over your senses, you let your hands ran free, touching, exploring every inch of skin he had exposed. When that proved to be a single drop of water in the desert of your thirst for him, you let your hands carding through his hair, pressuring pleasure into his scalp before abandoning that all together to shove them under his shirt. Sigh of relief left your lips as you clawed gently at the soft skin of his back, so warm under your fingertips. A soft chuckle vibrated through to your lips as his kiss slowed to barely a slow waltz, eyes blown, staring deep into your soul. Junhoe studied the way your eyes dazed, breaths erratic yet you couldn’t part way with him, chasing after the taste of his lips when he back away to give you air. 

“Baby, slow down. We have all night…” He whispered, hot breath fanning your cheek as he nibbled on your ear, electrifying every hair on your body to stand on its end. 

“I- fuck…” A sharp bite at the tender skin just below your ear left you aching, soft cusses falling from your lips from the newfound pleasure. “You’re wrong, you know.” A stammer of confusion left his lips, almost immediately he got his hands cupping your cheeks, searching for any sign of all that regret had settled in your heart. All he could find however, was your lustful gaze and a loving smile. “You have all my life, Koo Junhoe…” You sighed a reminder onto his lips, feeling a smile blossomed against your kiss. 

The emotional Heimlich you had just given him was far too great for Junhoe to handle, feeling his heart unravelling at each breath you heaved, each time your nails gently dragging down the length of his back. It was almost absentminded the way you grinded into him, letting yourself made up for the lost time, the lonely nights. Watching the way your senses unfurling into nothingness solidified that feeling of belonging in his heart. He belonged with you, here and always, and there was no reason why he should hold himself back from enjoying this fully. A sharp gasp stolen from your lips the second he let himself fully diving into you, hands grabbing harshly at the curve of your ass, massaging, gripping firmly as he pulled you right into him. 

“B-Baby, bedroom…” At the soft nudging of tip of his nose against your neck, you point down the hallway.  With one swift move, your strong man hoisted you up, fingers only digging deeper into the tender skin of your thighs, but you only let out a satisfied moan. Lips latching onto his neck, you nudge at the soft skin for permission, letting your tongue trailing down the vein so prominent along the honey tan skin. 

“Go for it.” He sighed softly against your hair, chasing the soft scent of your perfume, nostalgia rising in his heart. 

The very first time that softness of rose, mingling so perfectly with the vibrant spark of lemon had tickled his nose with its delight, you were nothing more than a name on a report. It must’ve been your very first solo meeting with the big boss for he could still see the nervousness in your smile, the way you were clawing your nailbeds raw. Admittedly, the first thought had crossed his mind was how adorable you were, the little soft giggle, a seemingly natural response for your nervousness, had Junhoe at the edge of his seat. Though he’d never fess up, he had a bit of fun with you that day, purposefully clearing his throat, sighing a bit more, even once or twice glancing up suddenly at your focused self only to watch you hopped off your seat a little bit each time. He could’ve sworn once, he even heard the tiniest yelp leaving your lips before that soft giggle echoed through the dead air of his office, brightening it up just a bit more with each second ticking pass. His killshot, perhaps tad bit overboard considering it had been your first time facing the big bad boss all on your own, he had waved you over, had you clarified a few parts of the report so snugly in his hands. You were so close, so, so close that he could hear the way your breathes slowed, heart stabilizing as you exhaled a sigh of relief when he had muttered a quiet “good job”. As he watched you disappearing through his door, another timid wave sent his way (Junhoe thought it was beyond cute that as nervous as you were, you’ve managed to muster up enough courage to wave at him), all he could think of was your buttery smooth scent still lingering, chasing his heart into a strange trance. 

Junhoe hissed a soft cuss when you let your teeth sink into his skin, gentle tongue lapping at the spot sweetly to sooth the pain. He hadn’t bothered fussing with the light as you both blindly crashed through the threshold of your room, far too enthralled in the possibility, the chance to finally love you properly.  Never mind the door slamming loudly or that darkness still very much surrounding you both, Junhoe let your body gently laid into the cushion of your bed before letting his weight securely, safely, and comfortingly resting atop yours. The distant pestering of the neon signs luring the busy world, bustling and loud just beyond your naked window noted for Junhoe to find you and Irene a better apartment but fuck, how your skin glowed so amazingly under the flashing colors this very second. Soft features and silky hair illuminated brilliantly by the vibrant pink and vivid blue, stark against the darkness of your surrounding as if you had just jumped out of the pages of those niche manga he loved to read so often in his youth. Though you weren’t crass nor bratty like the 2-D bad girl type goddesses he grew up wanting, craving all those lonely nights spent wasting away with his nose deep inside a book, you had the same air, an aura that would’ve made you one hell of a badass… You’re sweet, and innocent, yet there was not a single doubt in the world that you’d spit hell fire if needed to and nothing turned his heart on more. You were everything he ever wanted, and so much more… And he finally had you, heart, soul, and body too. His very own sinful angel. 

He watched you, your curious eyes diving deep into his soul as you both share a moment of content silent, letting yourselves a second to really soaked in the happy ending that was long time coming. Even if the state of his disheveled locks and your wrinkled dress bunching up messily nearly to your waist, there was nothing sinful about the content smiles blooming on your lips. You made it, you both made it and the happiness rising in your chests was nothing short of heaven. Soft breaths mingling, warmth etching its way deep into your skin with each passing of his thumb over your cheek. Junhoe studied your expression as he had so many times before yet this time it was unfathomable the familiarity of each curve, each bend. It was a familiarity that even if you took it all away, he’d still recognized you just as you are, and it wouldn’t take away either his feeling when he sees your face. But it was a familiarity that was so special, his heart was currently leaping out of his chest, snuggling gently against your own because it was the familiarity that came along with the permission to call you his girlfriend. he want to showered you in endless love, to whisper it into your ears all time of the day but as he shifted to place a soft kiss at the tip of your nose,  a soft moan tore from your lips and Junhoe was once more reminded the reason why his hand was still gripping tightly on your hip, and the soft ember burning on his collar bone. 

“Junhoe…” You groaned his name and he lost all his self-control, letting kisses peppering against the line of your jaws.  

“Yea, baby?” He whispered, nibbling at the softness of your ear. 

“Y-Your jeans…” It was only now he had realized just how flushed his left knee was against your throbbing core, rough material creating the most perfect friction for your neediness. 

“Is it too much for you, sweetheart?” He feigned a pout, delighted at the way you mewled softly in agreement. A strange comfort settling in his heart for the last time you were pinned underneath his body, pain and harshness was all you knew. Even though he had barely nudged his knee a millimeter, your body jerked upward, nails sinking down on the curves of his shoulders. 

“I, it’s so sudden…” Your sigh lost when he tilted his head to place a small kiss on your collar bone, giving you all the right angles to admire the small bruise you had nibbled onto his skin. 

“I’m sorry, baby… I’ll be more careful.” His action quite the opposite of his words as once more the rough jeans rubbed up against the nearly bare nothing of your underwear, sending a wave of pleasure rippling through your veins. When he had pulled away, your pupils were blown and a heavy pants steeling in your chest. A dazed smile tugged onto your lips as your finger gently caressing the small splotches of red and purple etched on his sweaty skin. Confusion playing hide and seek behind that lustful gaze, before he leaned back, watching himself on the reflective surface of your window. The moment your amazing artwork had met his eyes, his heart exploded with endearing lust, something he hadn’t thought was possible before you… Then again, he thought lots of things were unfathomably impossible before you had graced his life with all your wonders. 

“Already marking your territory, hmm?” He dove back in, lips latching once more on the soft span of your neck, fingers toying gently with the band of your lace underwear. 

“Just a tiny reminder, so you know I’m always here.” 

Junhoe wasn’t sure why but the feeling of soft lace under his fingertips, the way your arms were snaking around his body reminded him of the little emerald green piece of fabric still very much residing on his bed side table. 

“You might think this strange, but I’ve got your underwear still, beside my bed. It comforts me, knowing that no matter what happened in the future, I got one night with you. And if pain was all that I had brought upon myself, then I will relish that one night for the rest of my life.” He went on when nothing but that soft giggle he loved so dearly melted into the air. 

“Well you can take all my undies if that mean that I can reassure you any time of day that I’m going to be haunting you for the rest of your life. But that might mean I’m going commando all the time.” You jest with a gentle touch to his nose, and suddenly Junhoe forgotten once more just the sinful thoughts he had in his mind mere seconds ago. 

“Goodness me! I don’t know how much pleasure that would bring me, love, knowing you’re wandering about your days completely naked underneath, surrounding by perverted men.” Junhoe soared through cloud nine when your response was simply to pull him down onto your chest, open mouth kiss easing his mind back to where you needed him most this very second. Desperate calls of his name echoed through the silent space, dark and comforting, yet with each second ticking, each needy swing of your hips pushing yourself further into the rough material taut over his thigh, staining it with your slick core. The blackness of your room was slowly driving him insane. He needed to see you, to see the lust clouding your eyes, and the breaths huffing roughly from your lips. Blindly reaching for the lamp beside your bed, he tugged at the switch with a rough grunt of frustration that unraveled the last bit of your patient. Hands harshly pulling at the hem of his shirt, Junhoe let out a groan of relief when you clawed down the length of his back, teeth grazing against the sharpness of his jaw. Each moan, each touch like another veil over his mind, foggy with how much he wanted to tear you apart, to take you for all you’ve got. There had been a strange sense of urgency the last time he had you under his fingertips, the last time he had you at his beck and call. He knew he was on a timer, and even with the promise of a future date guarding over the lustful night, there was no certainty he’d again have this opportunity. So, he took all you could, while you were so lost in the fluidity of his hips, Junhoe begged for you to hold out, demanded for the night to last much further than it should’ve. 

Yet now, feeling your desperate kisses, the way your body molding so perfectly against his, knowing he had all the time in the world, well there was no better pleasure existed this very second. He had all the privacy he needed to love you in every way he could. The blaring street life permeating through your closed windows meant that there was no need for him to stiffen your moans. Though, the sight of you writhing beneath him, silent gasps choking from the hand he had snug over your throat as he lost himself in you, that was also something beyond all of his imagination. In that moment, time, and space, Junhoe just wanted to give you all that you deserved, all that he wanted to but couldn’t, far too lost in the façade of the big boss to give you. In many ways too, he needed this, needed to know that he could truly make love to you without any inhibition, without anything holding him back, to finally make this dream of his true. 

 It was only now that he grown angry at the dress still covering your beautiful body away from his eyes, impatiently tugging at your straps until they snapped under the power of his love elicited a small yelp surprised from your lips. The neckline of your dress tugged down to your elbow and the hem pushed far past your hips. Junhoe took a second, backing away to admire the beautiful mess he had just created. Your lips now bruised and redden from the endless bites he had sunk into their pilowy-softness. The dress you had chosen so carefully for your very first date now nothing but a beautiful memory, tattered and wrinkled. Lips parting as he took in the sight of the delicate lace of your underwear soaked, sticking to your core and barely serving its function any longer for the roughness of his fingers had been toying at it. Even as vulnerable as your position was, breasts bare, body on display for his viewing yet not a bit of shame flustered through your mind. You loved the way he was basking in the view, enjoying the way your arms reaching out, calling for him to return and share with you his warmth. 

“Like what you see?” You whispered, hot breath fanning the shell of his ears as you tugged away his shirt. 

“You have no idea…” 

The last bit of fabric shielding your body finally ripped away, nothing left to hide your fragile body but the dirty bundle of fabric that was your underwear, and him. Wet trail lining the path down to your breasts, he wasted no time before letting himself a taste, tongue lapping gently at your harden nub. 

“You’re so amazing, baby… I can’t get enough.” The words escaping through his gritted teeth as his hand squeeze down on your breasts, eyes nearly rolling back into his skull from the sensation so wonderful. He nuzzled once more into your neck, nipping at the soft curve of your breasts before letting himself be free of his clothes, your needy hands tugging desperately at the fabric. It was your turn to bask in all his glory, magnificently sculpted and perfect, all for you. It felt so much like that night, yet so different. His body, just as amazing and godlike as you had remembered but there was now a softness, a touch of sweetness as Junhoe restraint himself, all for the sake of your enjoyment as he hovered above your body. You let your eyes raked down the soft skin of his torso, shamelessly admiring the hard length rocking gently against his tight abs. You were drooling, drooling over your man and all the things he’ll do to you in just minutes time just as you should, just as you deserved all along. 

You wondered how, if you ever really had it in you to be patient or was this unbearable burn to be destroy by the man you love had been a product of Koo Junhoe. You reached for him, hard length hot under your fingertips, twitching in excitement as you let your thumb run over the wetness dripping from his tip. Your movement languid, lazily trailing down, feeling each vein prominent against your skin as a small cuss hissed through your lips. It seemed to satisfy him, how obsessed you were, how completely enthralled you had been for his dick that you were nearing the point of salivating all over yourself. Your eyes unwavering, focusing on his length and his length only as you gently squeeze down, applying just enough pressure to send Junhoe doubling over onto you yet not enough to hurt him… To take away all his will. His knees wobbling, the arms he had caging your head too shivering with each stroke of your hand over his throbbing length. Junhoe was doing all he could, giving his all because he wanted tonight to be about you. He took all he wanted that fateful night, took you for all you had and more. It was only right you get to do the same. As much as he’d love to let his weight crashed down on your body, to let his fingers gripping into the soft skin of your thighs as he forced them open to taste you, to satisfy his own need to see you cum, over and over again, Junhoe needed to put his own wants aside for just a little longer. He had his chance to explore your body, mapped it in his mind so well, he knew it like the back of his hand for he had studied every inch of your body that night as he reigned over you. His wish was for you too, to do the same. So instead, he let his eyes fluttering shut, rocking gently into your hand as you peppered kisses along his chest. 

“Baby, lay down. Relax…” So far from the harsh demand he had broke you down with, your wishes felt like feather against his skin, gentle as you tug his lips in between your teeth. He complied, just like the good boyfriend he wanted so desperately to be even if history spoke nothing of the sort. He let his head crashing into the softness of your pillow, taking in the puff of fresh scent, of you clouding his mind, forcing his eyes shut. Yet just as soon as his lashes had the chance to tickle his skin, his eyes were widened in shock when you let yourself sunk down onto his length. His hands gripping harshly over the soft skin of your thighs, a ragged gasp ripped from his throat as he took in the sight of you.

“Fuck” He groaned a cuss, unable to bear any longer the sinful sight of you with your eyes rolling into the back of your skull, hair draping messily over your breasts and shoulders as your head lulled sideway in pure bliss. 

“Sorry, sorry…” You rushed out a few apologies, but they soon melted away into incoherent groans as shivers running through your body. Junhoe couldn’t tear his eyes from your body, shuddering in pleasure, the way your breasts shook ever so slightly every time you had attempted to move only to give out under the overwhelming gratification of being filled to the brim. “I- I couldn’t wait anymore…”

“It’s alright, baby. Whatever you want…” His words lost in the gasp you had just stolen from his lips. Junhoe felt his toes curling, chest tightening when you began to ease yourself into a gentle groove. Hands bracing against his chest, you dragged yourself slowly forward, feeling his length slipping away nearly entirely before sinking yourself back once more. Your thighs gripping his body, nails sinking into the smooth skin of his chest, you had forgotten just how full you’d be with Junhoe. Your gentle rocking soon grew erratic, heart beating to its own drum as your knees began to burn, dull aching settling into your abdomen. Junhoe snaked his hand onto your bouncing breasts, reveling in the way you were fighting your own exhaustion to chase the high so close to achieving. He couldn’t help but let a smile breaking over his trembling bliss watching you take charge, feeling you taking all he had to give. 

“Let me help you.” Junhoe whispered into the kiss when you had fallen over, lips pressing against his hastily, fingertips digging into his biceps. He waited, waited until you nodded fervidly against his cheek before letting himself thrusting upward, stealing all the moans from your lips as your body shook uncontrollably. He held you close, feeling your sweet nectar dripping until the skin of his legs. Painfully hard, his desire only burned brighter when you continued to grind into his length despite the blinding orgasm he had just given you, despite too the heavy breaths hot against his chest. When you finally found the strength to peel your body away from his, to abandon the comfort his arms given you, a pout tugged onto his lips when he felt himself slipped out of you. Yet the very next second, Junhoe was once more chased into heaven when you settled between his legs, fingers finding themselves snugly along his length. Your movement slow, enticing, calling for the small grunts whispered from his lips before placing the tiniest kiss at the tip. When you were certain that his entire attention was on you, watching through his half-lidded eyes, heavy with lust, your lips parted, engulfing his entire length in one swift movement. Junhoe found himself curling over in pleasure so intense, for a split second he considered abandoning all his will and fisting your hair in his rough fingers. He thought about it, on the brink of throwing you onto the bed, hand pushing your face into your pillow as you drown in your own spit, slamming himself into you with all his strength and fuck until you couldn’t remember your own name, fuck until his heart was satisfied. Yet as his eyes met yours, so delicate and sweet despite nearly choking on his dick just seconds before, Junhoe forced himself back onto the bed. Hands gripping into your bedsheet, endless cusses and raspy moans melted into the air as you let your tongue ran down the length of his dick, memorizing the way he tasted, the feeling of his skin against your taste buds. Jaws aching, you inhale a deep breath before sinking down all the way, letting your nose buried into his pubic hair as Junhoe let out a choked sob, jutting further into your throat. He wasn’t ready, Junhoe had thought he was prepare for this moment, for the moment when you were finally his, when he could make love to you, real love and not the selfish fucking he had dealt onto your body on the night that had started it all. But clearly, he was in way over his head for after the long month drought, you felt like heaven under his skin. Each touch, each moan you shared with him like the best drug money could buy and you were willing to give it all to him for the small price of his time and love. He hadn’t thought far ahead, definitely not far enough to foresee you straddling him as you chased your own piece of paradise. Definitely not at all for the loving gaze peering back up as you swallowed his entire length, hot and painfully hard. How could you be so innocently loving yet done to him the most sinful thing, making him feel all the ways that would plunge him into the fire of hell if he were to die this very second. As these thoughts enveloped Junhoe in its own kind of bliss, he hadn’t realized it but he was so close, hand once more fisting your hair as he fuck into mouth and you took it like the good girl he knew you were. But this wasn’t what he wanted, not right now. Any other night and he’d love to cum down your throat, watch on as you choked on his seed, cheeks redden and heavy pants settling in your chest from the lack of oxygen. Any other night but tonight. 

“Sweetheart, slow down… I-“ He heeded a warning, a warning that was ignored as you continued to revel in the feeling of him. Junhoe couldn’t part way with the pleasure blessed unto him but he wasn’t done yet, not yet ready for the night to end so he let his hand cupped your jaws. He said nothing, letting his eyes conveyed all his feeling as he pulled you up into a kiss. He nearly swallowed you whole, already missing the way your lips felt against his as Junhoe laid you down onto your bed once more. No matter how fast his lips move, how skillful, or how hard you tried to mold yourself against his needy self, neither of you could get enough of the other. Junhoe left wet kisses trailing down toward your breast, letting his tongue flicked gently at your harden nipple while his hand massaged the other. He pulled away harshly, aweing at the way your nipples perked up under his ministration. A sharp moan swallowed up by his lips as Junhoe thrusted himself into you without warning, unable to take any longer the calling of his name or the way you looked so much like heaven. 

“Sorry, love. I- Fuck!” The thought in his mind muddled as you wrapped your legs around his waist, giving him all the access, all the angles he needed to guide the night into the best kind of high. “I really want to taste you but… I can’t wait anymore.”

“We have all the time in the world, baby.” Once more your reminder that you were now his, to love, to hold, to fuck, to worship left his heart in a shamble. The happiness searing his heart only fueled further the desire burning with each thrust he dealt unto your weary self. Pupils blown and eyes nearly to dreamland, Junhoe loved how amazing you looked under him. Lips parted, the soft moans you mewled out like music to his ears. He was mesmerized, by the bounce of your breasts, and by the desperate grip of your fingers. Your hair matted to your skin, a soft sheen of sweat glowing ethereally, even more brilliant, even more like those manga girls his teenage-self had fantasized about for so many nights. But you were real, you were real, and you were his and he will never ever get sick of hearing himself say that. As that familiar high pitch whines melting into the air, he knew you were close. So, Junhoe let himself falling onto your body, holding onto you so tightly as his thrust grew erratic, hips snapping faster as he moaned into your lips.

“Cum with me, baby.” He whispered, to which you nodded madly, fervidly as your fingers digging into his sweaty locks, gripping on so tightly as you let out a last scream of his name. Your body convulsing underneath his, continue to ride out your high as Junhoe chased his own. Cuss after cuss, he called for your name, once then twice. Then when words no longer forming in his mind, he let deep grunts of lust falling as you coaxed him toward his own ending. One last thrust and you could feel him filling you up, hot and sticky, your own nectar mixing with his leaking with each slowing thrust as you squeeze down, milking him for all he got. His movement soon ceased as Junhoe collapsed beside you, exhausted, a blissful smile blossomed on his lips when you crawled into his arms, never mind the beads of sweat dripping down his body. For a long while, neither of you said much, letting the ragged breath slowing and heart calming as you basked in the cool air blowing through the window Junhoe had hastily flung open in need of fresh air. 

“Stay the night… Please?” Your voice timid, begging, desperate for him to hold you, for him to be here when you open your eyes when dawn come. 

“Of course.” He whispered onto your forehead, lips painful, bleeding but it was all worth it. 

As you snuggled closer to his bare chest, so close that he could feel your heart, erratic still from the bliss you had both just shared with one another, Junhoe let his finger digging into your dampen locks, feeling you so hot against his skin. Arms drawing you so much closer, he let the drowsiness that had been gently caressing at his sticky, sweat sheen skin lulled him toward dreamland. Though for once in his life, the promises reality was offering outweigh anything the sandman had to offer and he tried, he really did try to force his eyes open to gaze down at the sleepy form snuggling so close in his embrace. But the second he had seen the content smile spreading on your lips as you muttered a sleepy goodnight, Junhoe let himself drifted away, happy and gratified. 

The next second consciousness had called out to the well-rested CEO, he could feel the morning sun so warm against his bare skin and a strange sense of serenity, contentment delighted in his chest. He had yet given into the calling of the bright morning, stubborn still as he squeezed his eyes shut, tugging his blanket close. Yet as the blaring of the third car alarm that had gone off in the short fifteen minutes since reality had decided to slowly lulled him back into its arm, the young CEO suddenly felt out of place. His eyes forced open and for a second, his mind blanked as he took in the unfamiliar surroundings, of his own nakedness. Barely a thin blanket draped across his tone body, panic slowly eating away at his consciousness, vulnerable for the world to see. Junhoe propelled himself off the stiff bed, scrambling for his phone as his eyes simultaneously searched for any piece of clothing, any sign that he had been kidnapped and held for ransom. Pants hastily pulled over his body, he continued searching, searching for any weapons, anything at all that would promise he’d see another sunrise. Just a second before his own heart could work itself into a terminal stupor, his eyes had caught sight of the soft fabric of your dress, dormant still in the spot where he had so carelessly abandoned it the night before. Heart erratic still but a smile already spreading solace back into his rattled self as the memories of the most wonderful first date slowly came back to life. It was only now that he had noticed the many trinkets laid across your vanity table, blushes and lipsticks strewn about. Junhoe stared at the many dresses draped across the chair just beside the door and his heart swelled thinking of just how much time you had put into readying yourself for him. 

Just beyond the still closed door of your bedroom, soft humming and gentle rattles permeated through. And though he loved hearing you, Junhoe was all the more adamant about getting a better place for both you and Irene, one he hoped to have a bit more privacy to love you completely and uninhibited. If not because of all the love he had for you, then definitely for the sake of his company for two of his best workers to have a decent night of sleep without blaring horn and sounds of love, or from the shrieking he had heard the night before as he walked down the hallway leading to your apartment, maybe even murder, leaking through. Carefully, he tiptoed his way into the shared space, mentally thanking Irene for giving him all the time and solitude he needed to be with you, no need for restraint nor consideration. Perhaps the adrenaline of the night before still coursing through his veins, perhaps the nervousness of finally knowing what laid beyond the happily ever after he had so long yearned for, Junhoe can’t help the hammering of his heart as he inched closer to you. An inexplicable craving, desperation to have you in his arms once more even if you had just spent an entire peaceful night right beside him. Your sweet hum echoed through the quietness of a Sunday morning, delicate as the scent of breakfast warped him into the fantasy he had long dreamt of… A fantasy of being home, of being love, and of being a family. Junhoe continued his quest to search for your love, shuffling his way toward the kitchen where you busied yourself over the boiling heat of the stove. Naked still, with nothing more but the looseness of his flannel to shield you away from the prying eyes of the world, he felt so wonderfully domestic, even more so than the dinner and sleepover of the night before. He let himself a second to admire how effortless you were, the easiness in your steps in and the way you command the various pots and pans to bend to your will. You were so beautiful, even as early as it was, even with the strange way your hair had unfurled itself onto your shoulders. A kiss on your hair, Junhoe let his arms woven itself around your waist, squeezing tight as he rested his head on your shoulder, calm as you whispered a sweet good morning. 

Junhoe couldn’t imagine a more perfect morning, or anywhere else he’d rather be than this very second. Being here with you, sharing a bed now sharing the amazing food you had spent so much time and love into creating, it was the beyond his imagination for it was something he was once so sure could never happen for someone like him. Yet you were here, with your kind smile and warmth, showing him what it was like to belong, to be loved. Junhoe knew he was nowhere close to the day when he’d get down on one knee and ask you to let him have your forever, but for once in his life, he felt no rush. Not to say that thought of waiting by the alter as you float down the aisle in the most beautiful dress doesn’t send him into a blissful paradise. Or that the image of you round and waddling as you both await the arrival of your first child isn’t his fantasy now that the one he had of you being his was finally realized. Of course, he wanted all of that, wanted all of you. But if the past few weeks of heartache and absolute terror had taught him anything, it was to be patient. So, he’ll be patient and savor each second of the journey you’ll take him on. Junhoe will commit every smile and every fight to his heart, let it be the foundation that this love will grow on as you both grow old together. The future is never certain, but being here with you on a lazy Sunday afternoon sharing a homemade meal and vibrant conversation, Junhoe was sure with all his heart that this was his new future.

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A/n: SO! Here it is, finally finished after what felt like 10 decades since I posted the first part. Thank you for your interest in this series, and in this tiny blog of mine. 

[secret-engima]

Snippet of AUW One-Shot

(okay so- this will not be posted for a WHILE as I want AUW to catch up, buuttt I couldn’t resist sharing a little XD)

     It was warm for a late November day, the air was just crisp enough to be refreshing without forcing Wren to find a jacket. Lovely day for doing something … though supervising a sparring match —massacre— between Erza, Natsu, and Gray was definitely not what she’d had in mind. Gray and Natsu made a show of warming up their punching arms as they stalked out of the guild on either side of the icily fuming redhead. Erza eyed the two boys as they stepped out and formed a loose triangle, “So today it’s both of you at the same time?”

     The two boys grinned wildly —clearly they hadn’t learned from the literal months of abuse they had put themselves through this way— and Natsu stamped his feet enthusiastically, “Just me is enough!”

     Gray shook a fist in Natsu’s direction, “You took the words right out of my mouth!”

     Wren whistled sharply to catch their attention before they could start punching each other again and signed, “Focus! It’ll be two on one, the two of you against Erza. That means no punching each other until one of you has defeated Erza, got it?”

     Gray and Natsu nodded emphatically, already shouting about how they were going to be the one to defeat Erza, not the other boy, and Wren almost missed the sound of a strangled whisper from off to the side under all of their noise. She didn’t quite miss it though, and spared a moment to look around in confusion. There seemed to be no one else in the street though… She narrowed her eyes and decided to deal with it after starting the sparring match. Raising a hand to the sky, she counted down with one whistle, two whistles, a trilling three and then dropped her hand down in the signal to start.

     Both boys sprung forward at the same time with identical shouts of, “Today, I’ll beat Erza for sure!”

     The sound of metal impacting skulls repeatedly never did seem to get any less brutal. Especially since Erza clearly wasn’t even winded. Not for the first or last time, Wren wondered if it had really been such a good idea to let Laxus help train Erza. It had improved her skills with her chosen magic in leaps and bounds yes, but it also made Natsu’s and Gray’s attempts to defeat her even sadder than in the anime.

     A high pitched “eeeh!” Off to the side distracted her from Erza’s taunting question of whether the boys were done already. She almost would have thought she imagined it … if she hadn’t looked over to the tent and crates Master Makarov had set up to stash their extra supplies while the storage unit was rebuilt and seen a collection of very familiar heads sticking out from behind them, watching the chaos.

     She stared. Those couldn’t be who she thought they were. Right?

     Two indignant, completely unsubtle cries of, “What are you doing to the younger me, Erza?” Confirmed what she hadn’t wanted to be true and she facepalmed. Hard. Why. Just …. why? How did they even get here? Wait, dumb question. She glanced over at the younger trio to see that they were all still completely preoccupied by their spat —well, more like Natsu and Gray were trying to recover from their concussions and Erza was subtly gloating—, and hadn’t even noticed the shouting going on just a few yards away.

     Wren slipped away from the arguing trio and discreetly slipped over behind the boxes to observe the older group from behind. It consisted of Erza, Natsu, Gray, Happy, and Lucy all looking as if they’d just stepped out of the anime. Also in their group, to her faint surprise, was a calm blond with shaggy hair and black-rimmed glasses that could only be a teenage Pauz. Pauz was —not surprisingly— the only one who was staying quiet, but even he was too busy watching the mini-trio to notice Wren watching them from behind.

     Older-Erza’s face had taken on a reverent look as she stared at her younger self, “I still remember this day,” she murmured softly, “Get up … stand up … the younger me will say these things…” Older-Gray and Older-Natsu gasped and turned reverent eyes on the scene in anticipation. Wren just narrowed her eyes in confusion. The scene felt oddly familiar … but also didn’t sound like something the Erza she currently knew would say at all.

     Erza drop-kicked Gray and Natsu into the air, eyes flashing with wrath as she roared, “Get up! Stand up!” Thought so. That’s the Erza I know.

     “It’s not like your memory at all!” And that would be the older Ice and Fire duo, showing off their sparkling skills at subtlety and discretion by screaming their heads off at the abashed Older-Erza. How did they expect to not be noticed again? It was truly a miracle that Erza was too busy chasing Natsu and Gray around trying to achieve justice for her missing cake to notice the yelling. Wren made a note to work on the three’s awareness training later, because that kind of volume really shouldn’t have been ignorable.

     At least Older-Pauz agreed with her, shushing the older duo with a mild little, “Gray-kun, Natsu-kun, they’re going to notice us if you keep screaming like that.”

     Lucy giggled from where she was standing in plain view —obviously stealth was never going to be a part of the Team Natsu skillset no matter what changes to the timeline Wren might make—, “Still, everybody seems so cute at this age.”

     Older-Natsu flinched as he watched his younger counterpart barely avoid a vicious kick to the head, “Erza’s always been ferocious. Even when she was small…”

     Older-Gray cringed as Erza finally caught up with the duo, “What, had you forgotten that already?”

     Happy waved his arms and —in a stunning display of discretion that made Wren facepalm— cheered, “Run away, Natsu!”

     Older-Erza shushed Happy, “Now’s not the time for that. We have to find a way back to our own time.”

     “Why? This looks like fun! We should stay for a while.”

     Older-Gray grinned at Older-Natsu, “Good idea.”

     Older-Erza leveled a glare at the guild building, “Idiots, haven’t you ever heard of a time paradox?”

     Happy made a confused noise and Lucy, Older-Pauz, and Older-Erza began to explain the theoretical dangers of time paradoxes and accidental alterations of the future … while Happy, Older-Gray, and Older-Natsu up and ran off, muttering to each other about disguises. Wren watched them go —they still hadn’t noticed her, she wasn’t even in Shadow Form for Pantherlily’s sake— and considering stopping them but … nah. For one, she distinctly remembered an episode —or had it been an OVA— in which this happened. It had been one of the most entertaining ones of the entire show, so despite the years Wren actually remembered it fairly well. Well enough to know that Older-Natsu and Older-Gray running off would work out somehow, so long as they were found before the timer ran out on the spell that brought them there.

     For another, Wren had enough trouble corralling their younger counterparts, she really didn’t need to add corralling their hormonal teenage time-traveling versions to her to-do list.

     Older-Erza, Lucy, and Older-Pauz finally noticed the absence of the idiots and Lucy shrieked, “Seriously? They’re already gone? Even Happy?”

     Older-Erza exploded, “Those guys … I never thought they’d do something THAT stupid! Idiots!”

     Older-Pauz frowned, “It would probably be a really bad idea for anyone in the past to see us … I thought even Gray-kun would know that…”

     Older-Erza nodded imperiously, “Exactly. Lucy! Wear this!” Wren blinked and, yep, Older-Erza had somehow just changed everyone’s outfits into animal cosplay. Lucy shrieked over her bunny suit, then over Older-Erza’s catsuit, while Older-Pauz just sighed mournfully at his floppy puppy ears and onesie-style costume. Older-Erza steamrolled over the protests, “It’s a disguise, Lucy. No one will recognize us now! Now, you and Pauz will go search for the others and bring them back while I decode the book. And remember, don’t let anyone from Fairy Tail see you! Even with your disguises. We can’t have them have any memories of what we’ll look like the future. Just in case.”

     …And the stupidity had just become too much to resist. Wren coughed pointedly from where she was still standing in plain sight, then deadpanned at the girlish shriek that came from all three persons there. Really Pauz? And puberty was so kind to you physically. The three time-travelers stared at her with wide, horrified eyes. Wren deadpanned back. Older-Erza twitched guiltily, Wren merely crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

     Older-Pauz seemed to be speechless at the moment and Lucy was quite clearly freaking out inside her own mind, so it was Older-Erza who coughed and woodenly said, “Hello there … random person I … do not know … at all … can we … help you somehow?”

     “Hello, kohai.”

[starcityhq]

WHAT: The Justice League and the Avengers officially combine to form The Avenging League of Justice - or The Avenging League for short. Batman and Captain America lead the first meeting to discuss strategies for combating NOVA. Egos clash and chaos ensues, but teams are set and there is finally a plan in motion.

WHO: Batman, Captain America, Wonder Woman, Superman, Iron Man, Falcon, Loki, Bucky, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Superboy, Supergirl, Flash, Spiderman, Human Torch, Invisible Woman, Booster Gold, Zatanna, Oracle, Batgirl, Stinger, Wiccan, Scarlet Witch, Nightwing, and Red Robin.

WHEN: Tuesday, March 20th, 2020.

BATMAN: The meeting took much longer to organize the Bruce would have liked. The latest events in Star City were unfortunate distractions, but after the riot it seemed everyone was finally prepared to commit to the union of their prospective teams. The Justice League reformed years ago, but the only consistent members were himself and Diana - until Clark’s return. Even though Bruce would never admit it, it was his arrival that put life back into the idea. It made it seem more than possible; now, it was necessary. He gave everyone time to be seated. Even though there were several meetings he had with Steve in the past in preparation for this, he was still unprepared for the amount of people that showed. All of them he knew, even if they knew little nothing more about him than his reputation and, more recently, his real name. “We are here because we have a common goal and a common enemy.” He skipped the pleasantries and the thank yous. He expressed his gratitude to everyone he asked here and saw little reason to do so a second time. There were more pressing things to discuss. “Alone we have been able to fight them on a smaller scale, but that is no longer enough. If we are going to eradicate NOVA’s influence from Star City and prevent further destruction, we need to unite. I assume you all understand that, or you would not be here. During this meeting we will share what we each know about NOVA, their organization, technology, as well as their connections to a higher government. All of us have pieces of the puzzle. If we’re going to beat them, we must know everything about them. They are not infallible.” He paused, frowning. “I do know that they are currently perfecting a device that will not only de-power mutants, but meta-humans as well. Kryptonians and other aliens will not be exempt from this.”

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Steve had put on the Cap suit for the first time since... well the last time he had put it on had been for himself. But this time, he had put it on for its true purpose. And it was as if he was home in a lot of ways. Maybe that was cheesy, as Bucky always accused him of being. But it was true. All that was missing was the weight of the shield at his back. He had left off his helmet--his identity hadn't been secret since 1941--and he wanted to be able to connect to the people around him, some of them friends, some of them former allies, and some of them people he had fought against but who had changed for the better. With the League assembled alongside the new Avengers, it was the kind of thing deep enough to give him real hope. "Batman is right," he said simply. "For a long time, we've been letting these guys go unchecked, and they've been hurting people. Not just you and me, but people who need us. The riots really brought that out hard, but Batman and I started discussing this long before that. As Avengers, we're no strangers to operating against the flow of what is expected in pursuit of the greater good. With all of us combined with the Justice League, we can see the loose threads to pull on to unravel this whole thing. To protect people. A man much smarter than me once said 'one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws', and we're in a unique position to see that injustice firsthand and to work together to bring this city back to a place where people can feel safe again." He glanced around at everyone at the table. "As Batman said, we all have the tools, but separate we're just people. Together, we're more powerful than anything they can throw at us. It's not gonna be easy, but we've all faced hard things before."

SUPERMAN: It was years too late, what they were doing. They’d all bowed out and Clark had championed it, like a fool, so the injustice they were speaking of correcting felt a little more like picking up the pieces that should’ve never fallen in the first place. He’d dealt with that feeling for awhile, though, and there was no more room for the guilt when he (they) had finally decided to move again. So he gave Bruce and Steve his full attention, suppressing the swell of gratitude and relief he felt at seeing them at the helm of what they were doing. On their own, none of them had been able to right the wrongs that had happened, but he had not a single doubt that all the people around that table were capable of pulling together to do it. “There are a lot of people outside of this room depending on us to get this right. I know we can do it.” He glanced around at his Justice League compatriots and all the new faces of the Avengers he hadn’t officially met. “That’s why we’re here. NOVA has had a lot of chances to hit first, and I think it’s time we took some of them away.”

BLACK WIDOW: Natasha didn't speak. She didn't need to. Seated between James and Clint, it was like coming back from a long trip as she watched Steve give one of his keystone inspirational speeches. Her green eyes flitted around the room, marking the rapt expressions on most of the faces. Ever so subtly, she moved to slip her fingers into Clint's. They had plans to take him to James' therapist. They'd get his memories unlocked, but she was sure he was probably feeling lost, even if she had filled him in about NOVA and he had been there for the riots. He belonged here. He was an Avenger, but she wondered what was going through his head. Self-doubt, likely. He didn't remember this part of his life. Still, hearing Steve speak for the first time was a sobering experience for her. She wondered what it was like to get a second first time.

ZATANNA: Zatanna did her nails while everyone sat and listened. The brush moved on its own, though she occasionally had to twitch a finger to keep it going. She knew why she was here, obviously, but at the same time, she knew nothing about NOVA, and all she really wanted to do was set the bastards on fire. Maybe have ants eat them from the inside out. This was what happened when she was left alone and allowed to get creative. Flicking a wave at Bruce, she added a flourish of bats into her nail polish just to amuse herself. She showed them off. It wasn't her fault she could never be serious about this sort of thing. She dealt with eldritch horrors and world ending nightmares on a fairly regular basis. This was just bureaucracy. And the inspirational speech was lovely, but really, what did it accomplish? This is why she didn't work in groups, they spent too much time talking and not enough time doing. "So, do we have any concrete ideas? Or is this just a planning committee?" Her leg swung over the other, her foot tapping restlessly, she was the picture of impatience. "None of you fought this when it started. Everyone just accepted it and retired. I had to go halfway around the world and rehab my image for years to get people to think of me as just a stage magician so I could still keep the universe from getting cut open by the next greedy idiot who decided power was worth a lot of people dying. And now we're all here to pump some pompoms and talk about our feelings? Spare me." Normally she was better behaved. She'd been spending too much time with cranky wizards. "Look, I know I'm the asshole here, I know we have to fix things now regardless of what already happened. Proceed." She pulled a rabbit out of her top hat and fed it treats from her pocket.

WICCAN: Billy was a little starstruck, just as he’d been the first time the Young Avengers had suddenly been actual Avengers and were taken to the mansion. It was marred slightly by the idea that his mother was dating Batman, shattering the illusion just a fraction, but it was easy to forget while sitting around that table. Still, he wasn’t there to be a fan. He was there to be an Avenger and, first and foremost, help people. Even if speaking after Superman made him want to throw up just a little. “Since this...is a problem that is a lot bigger than just us, I guess I have a question already.” He looked up toward the head of the table at Bruce and Steve, “Are we sharing the information we have with the X-Men?” Obviously they weren’t the Avengers and they weren’t the League, but Billy was a mutant on top of all the rest. So was everyone in his family. If it was pure radio silence on that front, that sat wrongly with him. “...Glad to be here, though,” he added. He glanced only briefly at Zatanna after she’d spoken to say, “And we didn’t all retire.” He’d never put away his suit, even if changing the world on his own was...frowned upon, to say the least.

ORACLE: "Taking on big corporations and entities of evil takes time, manpower, and strategy. I think plenty people, here and not here, tried to fight off NOVA, but you can only fight government-backed and covered-up abuse so much on your own. I think that's the point," Barbara leaned forward, not at all mad that Zatanna spoke up, if anything she was amused at her friend, with a ghost of a smirk on her face. She was also more than used to at least some of the people here making their opinions undeniably known, so she continues without hesitation. She certainly doesn't disagree that action is the priority here. "As far as their systems, I've determined timeframes I can personally have them exposed and vulnerable, both virtually and physically. I'm still working on being able to do these things undetected, but that will come soon enough. We have ways in, but we need coordination. I also think," Barbara nods to Billy, "that the X-Men will be able to help us here. Magneto may have taken responsibility, but he didn't single handedly evacuate all of NOVA's 'patients' from that place. They have experience here that's going to be invaluable, and we'd only be making ourselves weak by not attempting to reach out."

LOKI: Loki had never been a part of a team really. He had been working with the JLD at the request of the other magic users, though very few people knew about his role undercover as Johan the insane NOVA scientist. He was in it for the chaos, sure, and for the security of throwing in with the people who had absolutely pummeled him when he had tried to take over Midgard--through granted, the Mad Titan had made him insane enough to get him to do it. He had needed to be pummeled. But all that aside... this talk of justice was all new for him. What Zatanna said was right on the tip of his tongue, and mischief danced through his eyes before he clamped down on it. "I agree with our esteemed 'stage magician'," he said simply. "While all the talk of--" He switched into Steve for a moment--"injustice and saving people and what we can do together--" Back to Loki. "Is extremely moving... on Asgard when such a threat was present, we, too, gathered our strongest warriors. However, the Council usually decided that waging war was the right go ahead unless, of course, we couldn't win. But can't she wipe things from reality?" He said, nodding to Wanda. "Mightn't it be a little simpler to look to the example of the man in the metal suit? There cannot be riots if there is no NOVA left." He nodded to the one in blue with the flowing red cape. "He looks to be an impressive warrior alongside Sir Justice. Zatanna is right, what are the plans?" Why, for example, was he gathering information for them? He was happy to do it, but if the reason wasn't to more efficiently wage war... what was it. He was legitimately confused.

NIGHTWING: Dick knew firsthand how difficult it was to run a team. People seemed to assume that those who had the initiative to head up a group had all the answers, or should, and didn’t recognize that it was a collaborative effort. The fact that Bruce was willing to entertain others’ ideas and not tackle this on his own was a surprising development; in his opinion, it made it clear that things were a lot more dire than most people were willing to admit. Steve’s speech was moving and was meant to inspire them. While he understood others’ frustrations, it frustrated him that it was brushed aside just because neither of them could provide all the answers. “The point is to avoid more death and destruction,” he said. “Seems to me like waging war without fully understanding our enemy and their abilities would be a mistake. We’re all here to share what we know, so we can come up with a solid plan that limits casualties. If any one of you actually thought getting together and sharing our expertise, and we have a lot of it, is an actual waste of time, then the door’s over there.” He didn’t have a lot of patience for people complaining about things not getting things done and then… offering little in way of concrete or productive plans that WOULD get things done. “Babs is right. This is going to take a great deal of strategy if we’re going to get the upper hand, especially because this organization goes way beyond what we’re just seeing in Star City. There are other government agencies involved. It goes a lot higher up, and... I don't know if we know the extent of it yet.”

FLASH: For once in his entire life, Barry hadn't been late to something. He was worked up and wired – but relatively calm for him. They were all supposed to be a team again; and in the spirit of camaraderie he had attended the meeting in costume – but lowered his cowl once inside the conference room. “Not all of us retired, Z... I just, sort of disappeared for a while.” He fidgeted but moved on. “Barry Allen – by the way; or uh, The Flash. For those of you that I don't officially know.” He waved slightly. What was a secret identity anyway? Barry shot a look at the man – Loki – as he shifted his form and questioned about a direct course of action. “Nightwing is right.” He gestured at Dick. “Wiping something – someone, people – from reality isn't the answer... just like messing with time wasn't the answer for myself or anyone else here that has the ability to do so--” He couldn't help but eye Michael slightly. “Uh, information, right. So, the only real information I have regarding NOVA is from a conversation I had with their lieutenant, a Jihl Nabel. She played the role to a tee but the is bad blood between NOVA and the SCPD. She left an agent behind to monitor our forensics department – which I gotta say has been incredibly annoying dealing with – but I think there might be a distrust among NOVA that the local authorities will refuse to continue putting up with their presence or no longer do as they say without question.” Barry explained at length before settling back into his chair. “Sorry I don't have more information... splitting myself between forensics cases and Flash-work has left little spare time to actual tangle with these guys.”

HUMAN TORCH: Being at a round table with so many other people was a far cry from the Fantastic Four. Just Four. Johnny didn’t know half of who he was looking at, and his own personal agenda was coloring everything in his life right then. He wanted to know what the hell had happened to Peter, and he was more sure than ever that NOVA was behind whatever it was. The weird isolation they’d had to maintain mingled with his own lack of patience and just plain irritation and he’d been unable to drum up his usual sunny self for the meeting. “Preparation and strategy, sure. That’s why we’re sitting here. But if we don’t start moving right now, people are going to get killed, and I’d rather take a shot at something before that happens. So, no offense, but I want someone to point in a direction before we walk away from this table. That’s what we’re doing, right? Because NOVA is up to something sick. I’m not...sneaky special intelligence guy or scientist guy or whatever most of you sitting here are,” he glanced briefly toward Peter and swallowed, “but I don’t want to sit on my hands anymore.”

HAWKEYE: Hawkeye was sat between Nat and Spider-Man, probably looking too casual for such a Serious Gathering: his long legs kicked out in front of him and his right arm was slung over the corner of the back of his chair, an arrow twirling effortlessly between his fingertips, while his left hand rested near Nat. He at least wasn't wearing his bright purple uniform. Natasha had taken him to meet a nice kid named Shuri who had designed a whole new get up for him along with a new bow and quiver, and he had fallen a little bit in love with her for it. The bow was gorgeous all sleek lines and reinforced vibranium with a two-hundred-and-fifty pound draw weight. He might have cried when she handed it over. Just a little. His uniform was just as nice, sleek and black with gold accents. It wasn't until after he saw the completed design that he realised that he had subconsciously designed both armour and a sneak suit. Sitting there Clint wondered if this was the sort've thing he used to do all the time when he was an Avenger. It seemed like a really big group. Like, they were all actual superheroes, unlike Clint who was just a mix of innate talent and crazy amounts of practicing/honing his skills, couldn't they just...take care of any problem they ran into? He was pretty sure Tasha could take these NOVA people single-handedly, but then again, he was probably biased there. Feeling long fingers slipping in between his larger, calloused ones he glanced over at the redhead, unable to help the dopey looking grin on his face. Yeah, he was definitely biased there. Not that he could help it, he could definitely see why past-him had stuck around the Russian ex-assassin, and her stunning good looks were the least of it. Her competence frankly both terrified him and brutally turned him on. But, those weren't exactly the kind of thoughts he should probably be having in the middle of an Important Meeting. ­

His thumb idly circled against the side of Nat's hand as he listened to everyone give their opinions on the current situation, but then someone spoke up that he actually recognised. Leaning forwards a little he looked around Natasha and Bucky at Loki, grinning as he nodded at him. They'd gotten drinks a couple times since first running into each other, thankfully the other times hadn't been quite as existential as the first one, but it turned out that Loki actually as a good listener and spilling his guts to the other man had made Clint feel a little less anxious and insecure about his situation. Sitting back he listened to Loki going on and found himself nodding along, and then he was pointing at the Trickster with the arrow in his hand. "I agree with Loki."

BATGIRL: It would be a lie if Steph was all for the whole strategic thing. She felt itchy, eager to get her hands wrapped around some NOVA agent necks, especially after what happened to Commissioner Gordon. The old Steph might have jumped in and said that without a second thought, especially because Zatanna was clearly on the side of action. Sitting on her hands and thinking things through wasn’t exactly up her alley. “Pretty sure we’re all here ‘cause we’re not going to be sitting with our thumbs up our asses anymore.” She shrugged. “But I get that we have to smart about it, especially if all of you metahumans could have your power wiped out like that -“ She snapped her fingers. “I mean no offense, I’m sure a lot of you have good hand to hand combat training, but I don’t like our odds as much if that’s what we’re left with.” Yawning, she combed one hand through her thick hair. Her head felt hot underneath the Batgirl cowl. “Anyone got an actual suggestion for action? What about Jihl whoever? Is she anyone important to just some trumped up figurehead?” Picking at her nails, she shrugged. “As much as I want to wipe out NOVA, they need to pay for what they’ve done.”

SCARLET WITCH: Wanda felt her blood go cold as Loki brought up her power. She had wiped things from reality on a large scale before. She had murdered thousands, destroyed lives, put a rift between teams. The mere suggestion had her uneasy, her dark eyes lifting to the Asgardian. For the most part, she worked well with Loki, but she wasn't going to sit by and let him suggest carnage and use her as an example. "I suggest you defer to those of us who know how things are done on earth, Loki," she said. "And I'd think carefully before making reference to powers you don't understand." She let out a breath, shaking her head before continuing. "I am aware that there have already been some pushes for information, but the League and the Avengers don't take action and the lives of others into their own hands to push their agendas like my--like Magneto. But my son and Oracle are right. The X-Men will be invaluable in this fight and while an alliance the depth of ours may not be necessary, their insight is important here." Pausing, she subconsciously ran a hand over the intricate beadwork of the crown her father had made her back before all of this. "That said... I question the methods of some of their members, as they have questioned mine in the past." She hated to say that. Hated it so much, but her father was formerly an X-Man and he had close affiliations with them now. He was one of those who helped run District X. "Do we have plans to talk with them directly about where they stand after the attack on the detention center?" Her father had taken credit and said he acted alone, but her sister at the very least had been involved and she wouldn't be surprised if there were others. "I know that Cyclops is a reasonable man. Surely approaching him is a good call when we discuss taking down NOVA?"

BOOSTER GOLD: While Michael didn't have much information to give, he was just happy that the band was getting back together again - this time with even more opinionated people. The suggestion of just wiping NOVA out made him nervous, if only because he knew it would really screw with time things and a mighty disapproval would be wrought down upon him. He caught the tail end of Barry's glance that he'd thrown his way, only to return it with a look of his own. A string of silent email notifications showed up on the screen of his phone which he had hidden on his thigh, distracting him partly as he skimmed.

He'd known that Steve had managed to recruit a sizeable collection of people for the Avengers, but lumping in all the others had a lot of opinions in one room. He still wasn't entirely convinced that he belonged there among them for a whole variety of reasons, but he'd agreed to it and still believed in the overall necessity of someone being around to extend a hand when the world needed it. Even a cybernetic one. "You can't just rewrite the world every time something goes wrong in it, and you can't cut off one head and walk away thinking another one won't replace it." HYDRA had taught him that much. It was naive to think anything had a simple solution. They knew NOVA ran deeper than just the organization itself or a single person. "This has to be as much an infiltration as a fight."

RED ROBIN: Tim sat quietly. Honestly... he wished he gotten a little more sleep before coming. He was running out of coffee and this was a lot of words. Beside him, Steph was her typical, to-the-point self. Action first, overthinking later. Tim was over-thinking always, action at just the right moment. Now, he finally nodded before adding to what Babs had said. "I'm working on the tech side with Oracle," he said simply. "NOVA's well protected digitally, but not impossible." After all, at the tender age of thirteen, Tim had been capable of hacking the social security office and other big government agencies. "We'll have a lot of their structure nailed down before too long here." He had taken a break to find Jim's attempted murderer, but he was back on it now, glad to be working with his father again, his family. He was aware that they were all here in the assemblage. All except one. But it wasn't as if Jason would ever be a part of a team like this. He could imagine the smart ass bitchy response that would come out of someone even insinuating it. "The point is, we aren't doing nothing. At least... I'm not and Oracle isn't. Batman and Captain America either." Obviously. Those two were the ones who had made all this happen.

SPIDERMAN: Peter reached over to take a hold of one of Johnny's hands wordlessly, as if the gesture would help to soothe the brusque tone of his words. He was right, though - they needed to nip this in the bud sooner rather than later, before it could get any worse than this. They already had the idea that NOVA had been behind Peter's sudden loss of control. How, though? Even during a forced isolation, courtesy of an overprotective Tony Stark, he was coming up empty handed. The video footage he'd managed to find showed no signs of interference, no one performing a spell or injecting him with anything. He came up empty handed and it was frustrating as all hell, but he wasn't about to quit now, especially not when there were a lot of questions still left unanswered.

IRON MAN: This had to be the place. Funny that he expected a window or two, but he should have known better given the reputation of the Justice League. Tony didn’t know why they bothered with secrecy when it was only a matter of time before everyone knew who each and every one of them were. He entered the room without (well, maybe a little) fanfare, holding a Starbucks cup in one hand and with Steve’s shield on his arm. He pushed up his sunglasses and squinted at everyone. “First time my eyes have to adjust to the dark for a meeting, I have to say. You ever heard of natural light?” He eyed Bruce and smirked, tipping his cup in his direction. “Say no more.” Circling around the room, he found an empty chair and raised a brow at the computer screen. “Ohh, nice tech. Willing to bet that 10% of this room is looking at porn right now.” He looked at Steve and gestured to the shield, his tone shifting to one more serious for the first time since entering the room. “Figured you might need this. The thing’s gotten to be a real eyesore.”

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Steve had been listening to everyone, letting everyone speak and hearing everyone's opinions. It didn't seem too dire, but there were concerns that he and Bruce were going to need to address when things seemed to settle down a little. It was fine. They had anticipated those things. The conversations that Bruce and Steve had had before had already laid down groundwork for going to Scott, for dealing with integrating the X-Men where they could. Sue was just about to speak when an all too familiar voice cut through the room and Steve's eyes shot up. Tony. Tony had actually come... Steve had asked him to. They'd been talking on the phone since the day Tony had answered. After seven years of phone calls and messages. All of them ignored until the day Steve had really needed him. When Steve's life had felt like it was falling apart well and truly. He had left the SCPD, Nomad was behind him, there was no real Cap in front of him, Bucky had left him and there was just silence. And then he'd kept answering. Kept listening. Tony and he weren't the same. They hadn't talked as deeply on a mutual level, and he could tell that he'd have to do the work to get the other to open up to him. But he'd just... listened. Hadn't given advice, hadn't tried to placate Steve. There wasn't even any bias when he'd talked about Bucky and the pain and how lonely he'd felt in his own damn home. It had been surprising for Tony because Steve had never known him to be feelings guy. But on that level it had given Steve so much hope that every night, Tony had just sat on the other line, listening or even just pretending to. And now here he was. Because he belonged here. Tony Stark was an Avenger and would always be an Avenger, and tearing their team--their family--apart had been one of the hardest choices he'd ever made. But he'd done it. And he'd do it all over again if he had the same options in front of him. But Tony... Tony he might have handled differently. If he could have.

As the other approached him, Steve's chest ached and his stomach tightened. "Tony," he said quietly. "You came." It was perhaps too intimate a moment to experience in front of all of the assembled company, some of whom didn't know him well. But he couldn't help it. Steve had never been the type of person to hide how he was feeling and he never would be. Even Tony's stupid joke fell on deaf ears as he held out the Shield. The Shield that would feel so right on his arm. That belonged with him but had been given back to Tony because he deserved to reclaim it. Because Howard had given it to Steve and Steve had chosen to relinquish it after everything. It was a part of him, and letting Tony take it had been like giving up part of himself. Now, as it snapped into place again, like it had always been there, like it had just been waiting for Steve and Tony to remember where it belonged, where they belonged, Steve's baby blue eyes burned. Steve Rogers felt the weight of Captain America. He felt... whole. "We'll talk later," he said to the other. "But... I'm glad you came."

INVISIBLE WOMAN: Susan shot Peter an apologetic look, though there was hardly much to do. Instead, she was privy to a one man show when Tony showed up fashionably late; honestly, it was completely on brand for him, so she didn't find herself so much as batting as eyelid, but she did sink into her chair a little lower as she watched the situation between him and Steve unfold. She had to wonder, though, how far had NOVA gotten with their anti-power technology. If metahumans were still untouched, then maybe she'd be able to sneak in undetected. After all - she wasn't the Invisible Woman for nothing.

SUPERBOY: Jon felt like he didn't belong in there, before he left earth, he was a kid, so he didn't have much time to prepare, didn't have much experience, he felt like he didn't deserve to be in that room with those people that have been dealing with that life, with being a hero, for far long. He was practically hiding behind his dad, felt like he was a kid again, maybe going in there was a bad idea, "Maybe someone should shapeshift into an agent of Nova, is there any shapeshifters in here? It would be a good way to get more information," He knew it was a dangerous plan, but it was really the only thing he could think about, and he wanted to help. But he was hesitating, because like was mentioned, he was new to it all. He was self conscious, didn't want to sound stupid, as if he was a kid among the adults, as that was how he felt in a way, "Or maybe if there's any technology that can change my appearance, I could do it, I would be up for it," he wanted to do something, wanted to help, and he was willing to do anything to protect others, and to stop more people from getting hurt. 

STINGER: This right here was exactly what Cassie had dreamed of her whole life. Before her, there were a number of heroes she'd looked up to since she was a toddler. The Wonder Woman poster had hung on her bedroom wall for a solid decade before she'd been killed, and now here she was, right along with them. She wears her Stinger helmet proudly, aware that her boss was one of the men leading this meeting and, to her knowledge at least, definitely did not know an intern of his was here. Of course, she'd deal with that later. Cassie didn't let herself miss a word, and when Billy spoke, Stinger could be seen nodding emphatically beside him. When the suggestion of Wanda's powers came up, she clenched her fist as her side, torn between chiding the suggestion and defending Wanda. Still, she keeps quiet a few moments more, and has to stop herself from letting out a loud 'UNCLE TONY?!' as he walked in. Still, beneath her helmet, she's grinning as he walks in, and her eyes dart from Steve to Tony, relief her main thought for only a moment. "The X-Men should be here," she added simply, having no interest in repeating previous points other than to state her place, "and unless we want to take a stage with Magneto, we should avoid drastic and unplanned charges. No matter how much I'd love to get big, step on one of their facilities, and be done with it? Not gunna be that easy." she leans forward, her wings at her back shifting in her chair, "seems like the most obvious thing we need is information. It's real easy to eavesdrop when you're the size of a bug, just saying. I can leave mics and cameras in their ventilation if we can get around the security. It'll also give us a layout of where we hit. Which, brings up the question," Stinger turns her attention back to the two men leading,  "are there any thoughts of an actual plan, or should someone start writing suggestions down?"

BRUCE: As Bruce waited for everyone to say their piece, he was less than surprised by the responses he received from a good number of the participants. Some he knew well, like Zatanna, but her less than patient stance wasn’t unique. Action meant different things to different people. Few of them knew just how much action was being taken, under the radar, and if they did know, he wasn’t altogether convinced they would appreciate it. Knowing the opponent inside-out was integral. If they moved too quickly, they risked being surprised by the vast intel NOVA acquired over the years from their various connections. Having insiders in their organization certainly helped, but he also had to consider the possibility that NOVA was utilizing the exact same tactics. They had to be careful. He nodded wordlessly to Barbara’s input, frowning, but the atmosphere in the room darkened noticeably once the focus shifted to the X-Men. Loki’s suggestion made him raise a doubtful brow. It certainly warranted a response. “This is not Asgard and strength is not enough.” Wanda’s powers being tossed out as if they were free for exploitation made his eyes narrow and he shook his head. “As I said, the weapons they employ have the ability to render us powerless. We are not in the position to rely solely on powers of mutants, metahumans, or aliens. I understand that there are plenty of you who want to go in aggressively. Forcefully. I am telling you that it will not work. We will not win. Like all of you, I don’t want to see more people killed or hurt, but we must be smart about what we do next, or it will all be for nothing.”

He glanced at Steve and then at the others, frowning. “Cyclops is a close contact of mine and has been from the beginning. We are in constant communication. They will have a level of involvement in how we proceed, but the X-Men have always been their own entity. The invitation is there for them to join us, but I can’t say it will be accepted. Regardless, we can rely on them as allies. They do not condone the indiscriminate killing that happened at the NOVA facility. As of now, I can’t tell you what their roles will be. It is something we are currently discussing - but I do not need to tell you that their assistance will be valuable in unraveling NOVA’s operations.” He hesitated, his gaze briefly going to Wanda before he looked away again. “I understand some of you would, perhaps, side with Magneto. If that is the case, this might not be the place for you. As tempting as it is to think we can follow suit, NOVA is more prepared for that possibility now than ever before. Magneto has seen to that.”

It didn’t come natural to discuss his plans with others or tell what he knew. However, even he knew there was little choice now. “We need to understand their technology so we can disable it. I have possession of the inhibitor that targets mutants, but I need their new design. They have it well guarded. The Flash is right that the SCPD can no longer be used as a way to infiltrate NOVA. The two departments do not trust each other and that will not change. And Oracle is working day and night to break into NOVA's security systems, but she needs help. The encryption changes too often for her to maintain all she does without sleep. I need someone who is good with computers - or someone who can learn. Quickly. I am not willing to wait and see what the X-Men are willing to contribute. We need to start now. We have already started, though most of you may not know it.” Jon’s suggestion earned a rare smile and he nodded. “We already have someone who has successfully infiltrated NOVA, putting their own life at risk to better our intel. At present we have no need of another. It would only increase our risk of being discovered.” Shapeshifting and magic would do little if NOVA were successful in perfecting their newest power inhibitor. Bruce nodded at Bucky, his expression somber, “Exactly. And while it may look to many of you that we are sitting on our hands, nothing could be further from the truth. This will not be a fight with loud explosions. This organization is insidious. It is very connected with every part of Star City and its citizens, including us. Disabling their systems, cutting off their resources, and sabotaging their technology is how we win. We only move when they are at their most vulnerable."

The arrival of Tony Stark was unexpected and aggravating. Bruce waited until he took his seat. He was respectful enough not to interrupt Steve, either, and gave the two a moment before continuing as if there were no change. This time he addressed Cassie, approvingly. “We have planted devices in some of their facilities, but there are certain areas our informant does not yet have access to, specifically the lab where they are developing their newest technology. It is well guarded. You would be invaluable if you were able to take us inside. It is something we will discuss later.” Crossing his arms, his frown deepened as he looked over the crowd. “Our plan is to thoroughly understand an agency that is unlike any enemy we have ever faced. Brute force may destroy one building, or the ones we know of, but more agents will come. Their technology will survive. Their agenda will continue and be bolstered by any acts of violence. There will be a time for that, but this isn’t it. The agency needs to be exposed for what it is. Then, when we do make our move, there will not be more agents to take their place. It needs to be eradicated permanently, or the amount of people who suffer and die at their hand will only increase.” He paused. "But we are here to collaborate, so if anyone here has a better idea for an approach that will permanently rid Star City of NOVA, do not hesitate to share it."

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Steve looked at Loki, sighing before he moved to pinch at the bridge of his nose. "Wars aren't won with brute strength. I've fought several. I know how they work. Battles might be, but we aren't battling. We're at full-scale war with an enemy we don't understand. And we are taking steps. Scott Summers and I don't speak constantly, but he's a good man and he wants to protect his people as much as I do. We want people to be safe and we want NOVA gone, but they can't be mutually exclusive." He looked to his fellow leader before nodding in approval. "Batman is right. In this case, shock and awe will never work and they'll wipe out half our powers before we even get into the gate. Some of us might make it unaffected. Not all of us rely on powers. But with our numbers cut into less than half, where would we be?" Steve caught Bucky's eyes with a meaningful look, as if to say 'Please watch him. After all, he didn't care if Loki wanted to mock or belittle him. But he did care if he brought the meeting out of hand. As Bruce brought up tech, Steve looked pointedly at Tony. That was his bread and butter all day long. "We have a number of scientists and tech mavens in this city that I know would align with this cause. Red Robin and Oracle are working hard. Tony, could you put Stark resources on it too?" He looked to Bruce now, adding, "I wouldn't overlook the Wakandan embassy, by the way. Shuri isn't an Avenger, but she's been a loyal ally for a long time. They have tech in Wakanda that even surpasses what I've seen with Tony and Reed. It might be worth connecting the group of you to see if she can help."

Looking out to the assembled group, he finished with, "We want to eradicate this threat, but I again agree with Batman. We don't want to do it the way they expect us to. If we attack them head on like some of you suggest, we'll lose. It's a long game, and it's a hard one, but we saw what happened when Pete--Spider-Man attacked one of the NOVA agents. I don't believe that was his fault, but it escalated things." Steve's eyes found Bucky's again. "We don't know how it happened, or if NOVA was involved, but it's exactly the kind of thing Batman's talking about. A lot of you know that I've been on the side of punch first, questions later. I'll fully admit that. But it's not the answer here. We don't know what they have or what we're up against. We need your support in the long game. And we're asking for your trust in a lot of ways. I asked all of the Avengers personally to be here. You all agreed, so you must trust me, and I trust Batman and the Justice League. Trust like that, trust that we are all working towards the same goal, is gonna be imperative."

“If we’re getting insider information, the kind that can turn the public tide against NOVA, then we need to use it.” Clark didn’t ask for specifics. If Bruce or Steve had put someone inside NOVA, he had to trust that whatever information they produced would be legitimate. “We all saw at the riots that there’s still public support for NOVA, and more of it than any of us probably feel comfortable with. If we’re fighting a war, then we’re looking at more than one front, and the people are one of them. If we have something to erode their support, it needs to be disseminated, and we have contacts who can do it.” Him, namely, but he didn’t say so. He looked from his son beside him back up to Bruce at the head of the table. “Take it to Lois. We’ll be fighting twice as hard if there are still people convinced that NOVA are the good guys here.” The air of impatience around the table was palpable from some of the other people. He understood. In a way, he was with them. The long game that Bruce played and that they all had to play right then was frustrating, but their problem would be infinitely worse if they acted too soon and too rashly. “We have a lot of different strengths here, that I can see, and if this is going to work then we’ll play to all of them. But not at the same time.”

HAWKEYE: Clint was not built for meetings. There were way too many people in one room, all of whom had something to say. Clint, on the other hand, had nothing to say. He was a circus performer and a thief. This good guy shit and should they shouldn't they and rules nonsense was grating and more and more he was starting to feel closed in, like he didn't belong there, and that getting out was the best idea he ever had. If it hadn't been for Natasha's fingers tangled with his he would've been gone already, but she wanted him here and making her happy made him feel like less of a failure, so he wasn't going to run out. That didn't mean he had to keep listening though. Growing up a criminal circus meant Clint's legerdemain skills were very nearly flawless, and it wasn't too difficult for him to slip off one hearing aid while he was replacing the arrow he'd been playing with back in his quiver, and the other when he reached up to scratch at the closely shaved hair of his undercut. With both his aids out he couldn't hear anything, blissful silence wrapping around the archer. If, for some reason, someone was paying attention to him specifically there was a chance they'd catch the sleight of hand trick, but most of the table was looking at the caped brunet with the really nice chiseled jawline at the head of the table who was currently talking. There was a pretty damn good chance Natasha would notice since she was sitting right next to him, but he'd done his best to pick a moment when her attention was diverted. Reaching into a pocket of his uniform Clint let the aids drop from his palm as he pulled out a Peanut Butter & Chocolate Chip protein bar, unwrapped it with his teeth and one hand and then proceeded to take a bite.

FALCON: It was unfortunate that Sam didn't have much, if any, information to pass on to the rest of the team, but he was willing to help out wherever he was needed. This was a group effort if they were going to take this force down - it wasn't going to be easy, not by a long shot, but he trusted Steve. He'd followed him before, he'll do it again, even if they didn't necessarily have a concrete plan moving forward. Whoever their insider was, something needed to happen before things got worse. While Superman spoke (seriously, Superman), Sam took note of movement down his right. He shot Clint a look when he noticed he had a granola bar of some sort between his teeth. He had to press his lips together to keep from smiling too wide, but kept his attention on Superman instead, in the hopes that he could just ignore whatever it was that Clint was doing. Now really wasn't the time.

BLACK WIDOW: Natasha should have known that bringing Clint to this meeting was a mistake. But she had thought that he would want to be there because this was who they were. This was their family and even if Clint didn't remember that, he had expressed a desire to be with her for things. When she had come home from Moscow, he had seemed upset that she hadn't brought him. She knew he didn't know what was going on, but when they talked with Rachel, he was going to remember and, going forward, he was going to need this information. At least... she had thought so. And then she saw him take his hearing aids out. And just tune it all out like helping people didn't matter to him. Like trying to hear what was going on and understand or file questions away to ask her later wasn't important to him. Her stomach tightened and Natasha slipped her hand from his. Most people knew her to have a very level expression, but when her hand shot out to catch his face so he could see her clearly, the first look was just utterly devastated disappointment, and the second slipped that away like a mask went on and her eyes were cold as Siberia. Letting go of his face when she was sure he was looking at her, Natasha signed quickly. <<Go home, Clint. Just go. No point in being in a chair here if you don't care and if you don't want to be here. Go home and I'll be back after.>>

HAWKEYE: Clint was aware that slipping his aids and grabbing a snack wasn't exactly professional behaviour, but he'd at least been quiet about it, and now that he had put his arrow away and had nothing to fiddle with it was better to keep something in his hands, or he was going to start poking at the tablets in front of them and get really distracted in a way that would likely be more disruptive than his snack. There was a voice in the back of his mind suggesting he could try following along to what was being said and try to piece together the bigger picture, but that wasn't what he did. He might have been forty-eight physically, but without his memories and life experiences of the last twenty-five years he was basically a twenty-three year old carnie thief playing dress up. He was doing his best, for Natasha's sake, but, like most other things in life, he was pretty sure he was failing. The moment Natasha's hand slipped from his Clint already knew he fucked up. That knowledge was confirmed when his face was grabbed and turned in her direction and he saw her face. Aw, disappointment, no. Disappointment was even worse than if she'd gotten pissed at him. Disappointment took him straight back to being a kid hiding from a father's disappointment because it came along with a belt and fists. The rotten feeling settled in his stomach, Clint's lips turned down in a frown. Blue eyes watched her sign, and for a moment he considered insisting on staying, that he could give it another try and do it better. But this wasn't like mastering a new trick shot. He couldn't just do it over and over again until it was flawless. He didn't sign back, at least recognising that now was not the time to get into a discussion. Instead he just, as unobtrusively as possible, stood up, slipped between the chairs, and then was gone and out the door.

IRON MAN: Tony brushed off Steve’s words as if his presence were inconsequential and expected, even though he knew it was just the opposite. “I wanted to see Supes and the Big Scary Bat in person. Not to mention an actual goddess with a lasso.” He arched an eyebrow and nodded in the direction of the three. “Have to say I thought they’d be taller.” Steve’s offer to talk later was met with a dismissive nod and he rolled back and forth in his chair, his foot balanced on one of the table legs. The years he spent with the Avengers made him a better listener. Maybe it made him a better team player too, unless the idea was a bad one or could use some work, and he was quick to agree to Steve’s request for tech. Unlike the others, he didn’t know much about NOVA aside from what he’d seen at the riots. He was too distracted by other things that were going on. Pepper’s injury and Peter’s complete snap from reality took most of his attention these days. One of the main reasons he was here was because he hoped someone would have some damn insight on what happened at the protest. He watched some cell phone video a kid shot over and over again, but there was nothing he could pinpoint that should have set Pete off. Not that he could figure out, anyway, and it put him on edge.

It was news to him that the X-Men would want anything to do with whatever game plan they agreed on. Tony snorted softly. “So, you don’t have the X-Men fully on board yet. What happens if they start to see logic in Magneto’s ideas? Do you intend to trust them with all of this information if they aren’t technically working with us, if there even exists the possibility that they might do something not so Justice Avenging Leagueish with it?” He frowned, rubbing his mouth thoughtfully. “And if we’re going to send Stinger in and risk her safety inside an institute that has the power to eliminate her power, what then? What’s the contingency plan? What if she pops inside an air duct at the exact moment they’re testing their new inhibitor? Do we have an inhibitor for an inhibitor? Something to disrupt the frequencies? Can I get my hands on one of these things? I understand you just have one, but I’d like a good look at it.” Clint’s subtly went unnoticed by him at first, he was too caught up in the various possibilities and pitfalls of action, but when he realized, belatedly, what just happened, he couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Someone’s in the doghouse."

ZATANNA: Good lord, there were a lot of children here. She was used to that with Bruce, he seemed to have an affinity for finding damaged orphans and giving them the ability to punch their problems away. You'd think therapy would be cheaper, but hey, everyone did things differently. "You don't have to infiltrate to get more information on them. If you want a look at what they're doing and what they've got, I can do that, easy. I just need a mirror and ... don't worry about the rest, I'll deal with it." Handing Seymour, her sweet baby bunny, to Babs so she could sit up (she was a hand talker), she leaned forward on the table. "In terms of a plan, since brute force isn't an option, and I have to agree, even though setting everything on fire is very tempting, I think we need to separate this group into smaller groups. There's no way we're going to get shit done when 30 people have to sign off on it. Make an information team, a tech team, one who looks for human error, which is my specialty, and a team of people who don't have powers who can take over if any of us get inhibited. If everyone has a smaller goal, each piece comes together and forms a structure that holds the overall plan together. Like a spell." Leaning back, she grinned at Babs. "See, I can be helpful. Just cuz I'm an asshole doesn't mean I'm worthless." She spread her hands to show Bruce that she was trying and playing well with others. She also sent Loki a mental message that said "wanna play a game while the mortals argue over tech?"

STINGER: Cassie went from grinning under her helmet at Batman's approval, to heaving a sigh when Tony spoke and said her name. She doesn't even bother speaking at the moment, simply rolling her eyes dramatic enough to be seen with her helmet on, and drumming the tabletop with her fingers, suddenly remembering the stubbornness of the older Avengers. 

ORACLE: Barbara lets herself observe the mishmash of people, and can't help but wonder what they were in for. She lets out a soft 'oh' as the rabbit was placed in her lap, but she accepts, head tilting as she listened to her friend speak. Her face slides into an approving smirk. She chuckles just a little, "Sure Z, now be open to criticism, hmm?" she turns back to everyone after (gently) handing seymour back, "she's not wrong that smaller components will be easier. And Superman is right, we need to shift at least what some people think. If we have information that can do that, we should as soon as possible. It doesn't matter how much prep we do before we attack if no one likes us once we're done. Also, cutting public support means strangling their wallets." She turns to Tony Stark, eyes narrowing slightly, thoroughly unimpressed with his display so far, but ultimately she knows she has to work with him, "There are ways to disrupt the inhibitor, Magneto used a big ass EMP. Theoretically, we could replicate that. That also runs the risk of frying a lot of information we could use against them, so it's a work in progress," she finishes, giving him a nod, certainly not about to deny the help.

IRON MAN: Tony raised his eyebrows in response to Barbara. "There are ways to disrupt the X-Gene inhibitor, but no one has gotten their hands on this new, supposedly updated power inhibitor, isn't that right? Therefore, we don't know if it operates like its predecessor. NOVA strikes me as an agency that learns from its mistakes." He let his foot fall to the floor and sat up straighter in his chair. "Magneto used the EMP with the intention of destroying the facility. He was not hiding. We're talking about a reconnaissance mission, quite different, and an EMP attack wound announce our presence loud and clear. Any device Stinger manages to plant would be undoubtedly discovered - or, at the very least, they would know we compromised their security and we lose any chance of securing valuable intel. Or, as you rightly said, our own technology is damaged and rendered useless. Worst case scenario, they catch her." He paused. "And all that is if an EMP would even be effective against this.... new inhibitor, for lack of a better term. Inhibitor 2.0?" Shrugging, he took a drink of his coffee. "I don't know about you, but I don't risk lives over ifs. Before we send anyone in, we need to know exactly how it works - and if it works similarly to the X-Gene inhibitor, an EMP is not the solution. We can't just kill their technology and expect them not to notice. No, we need to block Stinger - and there's a very simple way we can accomplish that and protect our own equipment, without tipping off the Nazis. They'd never even know we were there. I'm talking about our own version of a faraday cage. A very tiny one."

WICCAN: “You can’t completely keep the X-Men in the dark,” Billy insisted at the mere implication. There were a dozen other things to respond to, but if he was going to advocate for something, he felt like that had to be the thing. The potential fallout of not doing it was too great, and the last thing they needed was the biggest gathering of mutants to somehow be against them right from the beginning. At least Bruce and Steve didn’t seem to be in line with Tony’s thinking, and he was a little bothered (but not surprised) by his mother leaning that way, too. Magneto’s involvement complicated everything, as always. That was all the more reason not to give him more ammunition. He raked his hand back through his hair. “What uh...what’s a faraday cage?” Should he know that? In a lot of ways, Billy was one of most powerful people in that room, but he was reminded constantly what his shortcomings were.

LOKI: Loki listened to the back and forth and felt himself beginning to fade in a lot of ways. He had said his piece, they had rejected it, and so he was content to just do what he had been doing. Though he had to laugh as several people brought up infiltration like it was some new concept he hadn’t implemented from his own creativity before he was ever officially an Avenger. “Infiltration. How novel. What an idea.” He smirked before sitting back. “But if you already have an inside man, I’m sure they’re simply waiting for the right time—and the perfect information—to accomplish what Lord Bulging Biceps—“ Loki gestured to Superman “—is saying we should do. Could you not charge said inside man with retrieving one of these precious inhibitors? Before blowing open the entire operation with the right words in the right ears?”

He was offering himself for more risk. He knew that. But he had just been promoted. And he was going to get those papers signed. He and Jihl Nabel were friendly—as friendly as one could be with a horrible creature of untold evil (he both respected her as a villain and was completely astounded by her)—and he was part of their science and development team already. “Since the typically Metal-suited imbecile seems so concerned with the girl’s safety, why divert more effort to adding an additional person, who might not understand the layout and the internal politics of the organization and would just be blindly looking around, and not simply use what you have?” He shook his head, pushing to his feet. Abruptly he teleported behind the girl in the helmet—that was her name, wasn’t it—and made a show of peering closer. “You’re quite thin, you know? Very little. How are you with hand to hand combat if you do get caught, like Stark says? You won’t have your powers, so all you’d have would be your natural Midgardian fortitude.” Even without his magic, Loki had trained with the his mother, the Valkyrie, and the Asgardian army for over a thousand years, his Jotun physiology and natural state outranked any Midgardian’s in stature, durability, and strength. They relied on powers, as did he, but he wouldn’t be much of a trickster if he only had one trick.

It seemed to him that the conversation was becoming a bit circular, and Loki was an expert tactician but only when he did have an equal seat at the table. He was under no illusions about that now. Well, he was always under illusions, but those were literal. Most of them didn’t trust him. And maybe they still wouldn’t even when it was revealed that he’d been a plant the entire time he’d been on Midgard, and he understood that Thanos had taken any and all credibility that he hadn’t lost for himself. So he had said his second piece and teleported back to his chair. Green eyes meet the Good Captain’s. “You didn’t ask me here personally, but I am at your disposal. I do hope you don’t waste me, but point me as you will.” He looked to Zatanna, an expression of amusement on his face. His fingers moved through the air subtly before the pen next to the redhead now playing with the rabbit turned into a large carrot. He smirked before replying mentally: What did you have in mind?

STINGER: The young blonde went from a facepalm to indignant when Tony and Oracle were going back and forth. She'd expected some protectiveness, but she figured they might get through maybe half a meeting before it started. It was Loki appearing behind her that made her stand, clenching her fist at her side and staring him down without any hesitation, but she lets him finish.  She didn't sit again even when Loki did, and her eyes turned, positively glaring at Tony "I wouldn't volunteer to go if I wasn't sure I could handle it. I've been one of the ones in the streets fighting the creeps, and you haven't seen what I can do yet," her eyes deliberately shift to Bruce now as she retakes her seat. The hand that's hidden under the table next to Billy is clenched, and if she didn't have her gloves on, her nails may have down a number on her palms. She echoes what Bruce said before, "we'll discuss later, including safeguards for crappy outcomes." she grows quiet again, silently fuming, but knowing any extreme outburst would just be taken as an excuse to further infantilize her. One thing she hadn't missed? The tightrope walk that young heroes always had to face while on a larger team.

IRON MAN: Tony stared at Loki with vague annoyance. “If that inside man were at all proficient, we would have it by now. I’m not sitting with my thumb in my ass waiting on him to drop it by at his convenience.” It was clear to him who the inside man was and he could think of no one more ill-suited than Loki, who was proving himself useless so far. “Coming from someone who can offer nothing productive to the conversation or offer their own solution, personal insults are the next best option.” He clicked his tongue. “Predictable, Poki. I’m disappointed in you. If you were paying any attention, you would realize your “concern” is misplaced and invalid. But I suppose I can’t fault you entirely - how old are you now? Oh, you don’t have to answer that. None of my business. I was just wondering if gods also decline with age. If so... well, I've been awfully insensitive. Please, someone pull up Wikipedia here for our friend so he can keep up with the conversation. And toss in a dictionary. Most of the words aren’t monosyllabic.” Tony winked at Loki, smirking. “That should keep you more occupied than a virgin in a strip club.” His expression softened when he looked at Cassie and he leaned across the table, his voice lowering and becoming uncharacteristically serious. “I know you can handle it, kid. I know exactly what you can handle. What I’m trying to do is give you the tools to get in there and get out undetected. No one in this room has the ability to evade a power inhibitor, aside from those of us without any power to start with. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go or that I don’t trust you to go, but I want all of the information first. I’d want that for anyone in this room."

Sitting back, he spread his hands and looked around the table. “Can we return to viable solutions? That seems to be what we’re interested in. Does anyone have access to the materials I’ll need to construct a faraday cage? Or… well, it should really be a pouch. That would be far more maneuverable.” At that point he recalled Billy’s question and shifted his gaze to him. “A faraday cage blocks electromagnetic fields, radiation and frequencies. It acts as a filter against those wavelengths and shields the interior of the cage. It also protects against EMPs. Whether or not this will be effective depends on this new power inhibitor, but it requires specific materials to construct. I don’t have them on hand, unfortunately. I can get them, but if anyone has them at the ready I’ll gladly take them off your hands. I’ll need… let’s see…” He tapped two fingers against his chin. “Shielding Fleece, make sure it’s HF+LF - oh, forget it. I’ll take care of the materials. The whole pouch thing more complicated, but better suited for this scenario."

FLASH: Barry listened intently to the arguments and pieces everyone had to say. When the conversation circled back to him, he opened his mouth – but closed it when the doors of the meeting room opened and someone else joined them. 

ROBIN: "Sorry, Flash, but this is important." Damian Wayne barged into the meeting area with a slight pant to his breath, collapsing his bo staff and stashing it on his utility belt. He been preoccupied with a little criminal apprehension that Bruce had sent him on – but it had taken him a little longer than expected when something interesting came up. Sure, Damian had radioed in to his father to let him know he was running late but he hadn't explained why. So the teen swept through the room, light dancing off his red and green kevlar. It was a moment before he finally lowered his hood. “I know I'm late, Batman.” He reported. “I thought this would be better to show everyone in person though.” He said bluntly before setting a small black camera onto the table in front of him. “I was in the process of dealing with Kite-Man like you asked when he mentioned having made cameras that got near the NOVA HQ. I took a moment to look and this...” He explained and gestured to the device he had brought in, “was captured by one of his cameras. It had an odd placement and when I found it – a very odd energy signature emanating from it.” Damian stated before finally eyeing the large gathering of mostly strangers he did not recognize. "Whatever it is, it isn't normal. You don't stash security cameras in awkward crevices where they can't really see people." He frowned and folded his arms before moving to take an actual seat at the first empty seat he could find - an empty seat; one so 'graciously' emptied by his Father's insistence on standing broodily. It was different, being a part of the 'Big Leagues' meetings instead of the younger teams for once. Damian wasn't sure whether or not he liked it - the amount of attention on the one speaking was intense.

HUMAN TORCH: “Smaller teams. That’s something. Not everybody is suited for every job, but at least the rest of us would know where we might come into place. It’s not like thirty people can be barging onto the scene to infiltrate and spy. If we’re just waiting our turn, at least we’d know who we were waiting with.” He returned the squeeze to Peter’s hand, trying to quell his own temper, because he was a hair away from snapping like Cassie had. The device suddenly laid on the table was a distraction, at least. Johnny could offer one thing about it immediately. “It’s producing heat. Like,” he leaned forward far enough to reach for the camera but didn’t actually touch it with his hand. He didn’t need to. “A lot of it, really fast, really contained.”

ZATANNA: "Look, I get that half of you are tech gods, but I don't really think the details of that are helpful right now. " Which wasn't just because Z had no idea what Tony was talking about. "You and Babs are now the heads of the tech team. You guys pick your squad like in gym class and go fight it out together about whose circuit board is bigger." She assumed large circuit boards were better but honestly had no clue. "And Loki is right, infiltration will be the most dangerous part. Sending in anyone who isn't absolutely prepared is stupid. I get that you're all young and invulnerable to the dangers of the world, but this shit is real. I've lost my magic before. You don't know what it's like to not have your power, it's like suddenly losing a limb. Either you train while inhibited and prove yourself, or the grownups get to keep you at home. It's not about who's smartest or has the shiniest suit, it's about who won't die if they only have a knife and their brain to work with. Bruce has to be in charge of infiltration and whatever he says, that's what we do." Z nodded at Bruce because, duh. Just as Barry was about to speak, probably too fast and technical for Z to understand, Damian almost literally popped in. He was babbling about a camera, which Johnny Storm (Z always remembered cute guys, especially ones who burst into flames) said was emanating heat. "Jesus, if it's hot, who knows what else it's putting out. Tcetorp sdleifecrof!" A glowing bubble went up around the thing. "That thing could have tracking stuff or be nuclear or have a fucking spell on it and you brought it here?" Staring at Damian like he was the dumbest person she'd ever seen on this planet of Earth, she slowly swivelled her chair to look at Bruce. "I didn't realize it was bring your kid to work day." She turned the computer mouse into a Damian doll and sent it flying through the air to Loki. "Anyone else wanna risk total exposure of our super secret attempts to overthrow an authoritarian regime? No?"

WONDER WOMAN: The atmosphere in the meeting room felt tense. Diana sat still, quiet, as she soaked in everyone's opinions on the matter at hand. While she had no intel to share, she did know where she was best suited and where her strengths laid. While she did remain silent for much of the conversation, looks and body language did not go amiss. She watched everyone closely; whatever it was that Bruce and Stinger had to discuss later on, she trusted them to know what they were talking about. She was a soldier, a warrior, through and through. A diplomat, first and foremost, but a spy? An infiltrator? She would leave that to Bruce. She trusted him enough for that. "Agreed," she nodded to Zatanna before glancing to her right at Bruce, "You are better suited in that department than most of us here. If you trust this inside man to deliver us results, then I will stand by it. But we need more information sooner than later; there will be worse to come than just riots. These people are worried, scared for their lives, and many still have not been able to recover from that destruction." Diana narrowed her eyes at the now contained device floating in the middle of the meeting room. "Why would a camera like that need to be hidden in such a way? Do you think it was there deliberately?" She asked, gaze now on Damian.

BATGIRL: Everyone around her might as well have been speaking a foreign language. She leaned in to get a better look at Damian’s camera he seemed so proud of, but it looked like a regular old camera to her. As much as she used to admire Zatanna, the tone she took with Damian made Steph bristle protectively. “Sure, training under Batman must mean he’s stupid enough not to check for tracking devices. Give him more credit than that. All you’ve done is order people around and feed a rabbit in your hat.” Steph sat with her arms crossed, frowning, and squirmed uncomfortably as she grew more and more aware of just how little she had to offer in the way of teams. Punch first and ask questions later was what she did. It was her thing. Pretty much her only thing. She started out at a disadvantage, but years of training made her hand to hand combat impressive (if she could say so herself), and now she couldn’t even use it? Sounded like some bullshit. Yeah, she got it, but it sucked to feel like a useless lump when she was supposed to be Batgirl. “So a tech team, a… spy/sleuthy team, a computer digital hackery team - or does that fall in the same category as tech? Actually that’d be more up your alley, Babs. Maybe you should head that up." Drumming her fingers on the table, she looked up at Bruce. "And during all this patrol is continuing as always, so we’d need a team for that, right? Can’t forget to watch the street while you guys go running around in faraway bags.”

SCARLET WITCH: Wanda watched the people around her as they reacted before feeling herself beginning to get frustrated at the antics. Shaking her head, she sat up, her dark eyes flashing. "I think the irreverence--" She glanced to Loki, Zatanna, and Tony, who she admired for their bluntness but felt herself getting irritated with in this large setting, "--isn't getting us anywhere, for one. I think it's safe to assume that Steve and Bruce won't be underusing anyone. If they didn't have a need for each of us, they wouldn't have requested our presence." Her expression softened as she looked at Johnny and Peter, Steph, and those who were simply trying to determine their place. "Steph is right. While we are making large moves in subtle ways, there are still atrocities going on every day. And there's danger all over the city. Those with more martial skill can certainly keep people protected on patrols and it's not a lesser job. It's just as important." Her gaze turned to her son now. "I don't think we're going to exclude them, bubbi," she told him, her love name for him slipping out without her realizing it. "None of us want that. Tony's saying that if we don't know what they believe and where they stand, that it's dangerous to expect them to react in any way. He's not wrong, but no one is going to keep them in the dark." And if they were, Wanda wouldn't be comfortable with it. Her attention turned outward. "I know Magneto is a risk. He always is." He always had to make everything more complicated with his black and white inability to realize that he didn't deserve to play god just because it was the fastest way to help or get his point across. "But I think that Bruce and Steve's decision to speak to Scott solidifies that the X-Men will be involved, and we can trust that information will be disseminated to them and exchanged between us."

She hoped that put that concern to rest, because they could keep dwelling on the same three points, but they would be here all night. Clint had already demonstrated that that wasn't going to work for some people. She glanced to Tony, "For your cage, perhaps you can talk to Shuri. I certainly don't think that we have anything like shielding fleece in our attic." She gave him a wry grin. Then Damian was barging in and there was a strange device and she swallowed before looking to Steve and Bruce. "Do you two think it's safe to say we've covered what we need to for the general group? As several people have pointed out, this isn't their expertise. I assume this object needs to be studied. I don't want to adjourn your meeting for you, but I think that, with this new discovery, we might do well to start to close it up?" Her expression to Bruce was gentle, supportive. She hoped he didn't see her question as disinterest or otherwise something to say that the meeting wasn't important anymore, but she wanted people to be able to crack into this new focal point and she trusted that new information would be shared by Bruce and Steve as they obtained it.

BOOSTER GOLD: "I'm down with keeping up patrol. I've got NOVA's patrol sched down tight for the north side of the city, so if anyone wants that, let me know. I can have my bro Skeets send it via email; he's got built in Wi-Fi and it's like, crazy fast." Even though he was a little disappointed that he couldn't offer much else, Michael was glad that things were happening. Finally. It felt good to be part of a team again, even if he was reduced to patrol. Still, he could fly, so it made sense he stick with that. Skeets might be a little smarter in the technology department, especially that of the twenty-first century, but Michael wasn't going to pretend to know anything about what they all were talking about. "But if you guys need me anywhere else, I'm cool with that, too. Just say the word, I'm there." He threw up a gesture, thumb and pinky outstretched and he shot a quick grin before he settled back into his seat with elbows on the table.(edited)

BUCKY: The whole display with Clint and the expression on Natasha’s face had him briefly distracted from all the rest. He was there for Steve, first and foremost, and to help where he could, but his attention was quickly pulled in other directions. Wordlessly, he reached with his right hand beneath the table and laid it against her knee, neither looking at her or acknowledging what had happened. A fucking protein bar. Really? He was sincerely, deeply trying to be sympathetic to what was not an unfamiliar situation to him, but it only went so far. For better or for worse, Loki and Tony’s back and forth quickly had everyone looking elsewhere, and the revelation of NOVA’s device brought something else yet again. “I can help with patrol, but we’ve got a crew on this side,” he gestured at himself and nodded vaguely toward Natasha, “with a few decades of espionage and intelligence, for what it’s worth. I’ll be a little more inconspicuous than it looks right now.” Shuri’s upgrade to provide temporary camouflage for the cybernetic arm would see to that. “But I’ve never seen anything like that,” he gestured toward the camera on the table.”

SUPERGIRL: Even though Kara was only listening, she watched everyone at the table. She paid close attention. Some seemed to have good ideas, but others were bent on complaining on the lack of ideas - a frustration she could understand, but also found hypocritical and counterproductive. She wasn't a new member of the Justice League. She saw firsthand how difficult it was to lead people who didn't really want to be told what to do, or thought they knew best, but then did nothing but complain. The name-calling and demeaning behavior was upsetting and unnecessary. Wanda's kindness was a breath of fresh air. Kara smiled at her, hands clasped underneath the desk, but then she turned her attention to Bucky. "I can help with the espionage. Robin said the cameras are hidden in strange spaces no one would normally look...  not easily found, and unless NOVA has found a way to make their walls impenetrable to me, I'll be able to see through them." It was certainly a different sort of espionage, but having X-Ray vision came in handy when you were trying to find people - or things. "And I can see the electromagnetic spectrum. Thermal imaging will help me find the cameras, or even the location of the inhibitors." She paused. "But if the new ones also depower Kryptonians... I don't know, but it is worth a try. Perhaps the range is small and I won't have to get close enough for it to affect me."

SPIDERMAN: While Peter understood why he was being benched, he didn’t have to like it, not when he could be doing some good that the city desperately needed; regardless of how its people currently felt about him. Though as tempting as it was to do more than just remote work (if they would even allow him that), it would be stupid to go against Steve's and Bruce’s call, especially since they still didn’t know what was wrong with him. Of course, that wasn’t going to stop him from opening his mouth and offering himself anyway — “I’ve worked my way around a few security systems before; if Oracle needs a hand with that, I can always help out remotely... If that’s an option?” Knowing how overprotective some of them were, his offer would likely be shot down, but he had to try anyway, right? If he was going to be stuck behind four walls, at least stick him in front of a computer.

SUPERBOY: Despite the fact that he didn't have a lot of experience with being an adult, he was a hero before he left Earth. He could be a kid, but he was still good at it, so when they talked about doing patrols, he without thinking twice, offered himself to help, "I would love to help with patrolling. I do that a lot already, so it would be nothing new to me," every day, he went out and flew around the city, looking for someone that he could help. He wished there was more that he could do to help, but unfortunately, that was the only thing that he could do. It was already something he supposed, and better than nothing.

STINGER: Though it was hidden behind her helmet, Cassie's face softened as Tony spoke. She'd talk to him later certainly, but for now, she wasn't exactly raring to drag too much more attention to her. And, truly, had her attention not been completely engrossed by whatever it is Robin had just brought in, she would have rounded on the cranky magician lady, but as it was, Stinger didn't really think about it as she stood, shrunk, and let her wings carry her over to the device on the table. She tried to see things from her small angle, even behind the forcefield. She looks up at Johnny, "Hot enough to where it would hurt me if I could get in?" she crouches on the table, no more than a few inches tall, trying to get a look, "once we make sure that it's not recording us at all, and once we make sure that hotness isn't like.... energy getting ready to explode, I'd love to take a look. Nice find. But, uh--" she turns back to Zatanna, "this forcefield would potentially protect against an explosion, right?" and, as she's talking, takes flight in her tiny form and moves ever so slightly further away.

BATMAN: Bruce stood silently as Steve spoke. Before the meeting they had time to outline what it would be about, but it was impossible to anticipate the response they would receive. Regardless, Bruce was well versed in the abilities of everyone present, even the Avengers he never met. What gave them leverage in this partnership was the variety of strengths and expertise they had at their disposal. The only thing standing in the way was ego - and there was far too much of it in the first ten minutes. He didn’t fault the group for not seeing the value in a long game. They waited long enough for a plan of action and now they were being told they would have to wait even longer. Unfortunately, there was no way around it. It was just not that simple. Handing out tasks was something he discussed with Steve before the start of the meeting. Separating everyone into specific groups that played to their strengths was the best strategy. It certainly had a far higher chance of success than a full frontal attack, which was what some were oddly fixated on. “You might find temporary satisfaction in action, lethal or otherwise, but if that were the solution then NOVA would have been destroyed a long time ago. Captain America and I both recognize the value of infiltration, from various angles, and we simply do not have the time - or the ability - without you. You are here because we need your help, but it is your choice whether or not to go forward.”

Public perception was a tactic Bruce was well acquainted with after years of being in the spotlight and using the media to distort his image. He inclined his head in Clark’s direction, indicating his agreement. “The Gazette’s expose on the detention centers was the first real step in that direction. The public is largely influenced by what NOVA wants them to see. But there is more than one way. In this day and age, public shaming has incredible influence. Secret recordings that discredit an agency would go viral. It can be just as effective as journalism. Those of you on patrol will also be in charge of that - but be careful.The expose was successful because it did not distort or exaggerate the facts. Out messages can have the same impact on our peers as both Miss Lane and Mr Kent have with the media.” Clint’s strange behavior and subsequent exit earned a brief glance in Steve’s direction. Bruce said nothing, but they would be discussing it later. Long ago, he made a point of trusting Steve to decide who should and shouldn’t join the Avengers. This was the first time Bruce actually questioned his judgment. Even though personalities like Tony’s were abrasive and obnoxious, Bruce still recognized the point he was making and it was one he agreed with. “No one will be going into any facility until we are prepared. That includes having contingency plans in place.”

Zatanna and Tony’s back and forth made him consider if they should have employed a raise your hand if you have something to say protocol. While he’d hoped everyone would act like reasonable adults, he was especially disappointed in Zatanna because of their history. Their shared past was a close one and he gave her a look that, while on the outside appeared stern, was also a silent request for respect - if not for the group, then the integrity of the meeting. She was better than this. “That is exactly it, but you will not be making the decision of who is on what team, Zatanna.” Despite his frustration, he couldn’t help but be a little amused. As Barbara and Tony argued over the technology, he focused on Billy’s concerns for the X-Men. “Rest assured, Cyclops will be kept well-informed.” Trust didn’t come easily to Bruce and he didn’t fully trust many people, but that was something separate. He did trust certain people for certain tasks, and he knew Scott would not sabotage their efforts or use the information in a way that would hurt the team. They were all on the same side. With any luck, he could encourage them to help.

Not that he was looking forward to adding more strong personalities to the already contentious group. Loki and Tony’s back and forth was giving him a headache and Damian’s interruption was a welcome respite from the bickering. While he’d been in communication with him through an earpiece, Bruce had been given no explanation as to why Damian was late or what had happened. Troubled, he listened to his explanation with a frown. “Where was this building, Robin?” While he appreciated Zatanna’s support, he held up a hand in response to her surprisingly abrasive words, then shook his head gently at Cassie’s suggestion and turned the camera over in his hand. “There is no need. The heat is intense, as you said -“ He nodded at Johnny’s assessment. “But it is residual. It is slowing down. Cooling.” Producing a small tool from his belt, he opened it back up and saw that Damian already disabled its tracking device. Just as he taught him. It wouldn’t have mattered. The room was protected from being tracked just like the Batcave, but he kept that information to himself. “I assume you scanned it for explosives.” Not that he felt he needed to ask. Damian was well-trained, or Bruce never would have trusted him to be out on his own. Still, he retrieved his personal scanner (equipped with various systems, including computed tomography) to do another deep scan. “Hm. No trace of explosives. We need to do more research to know for certain what is producing the heat.”

Prior to the start of the meeting, Steve and Bruce both agreed who would be best suited to what task. It was a difficult endeavor, but there were solid reasons behind their choices and it wasn’t up to debate. “We are all infiltrating. The difference is the approach. Oracle, Red Robin, Human Torch, and Spiderman, you will coordinate a digital attack on NOVA’s systems and gain access to their files. The firewalls are nothing like I’ve ever seen before.” In any other situation he would not have placed Johnny in that category, because he had other, valuable strengths, but someone would have to keep an eye on Peter after what happened at the riots. He was the best option. Bruce reluctantly handed the camera to Tony. “Iron Man and Black Panther will focus on deconstructing NOVA’s technology. A device or a suit that will shield the wearer from inhibitors, while avoiding detection, would be invaluable to future missions. Our first order of business is to retrieve the new power inhibitor so we can find out how it works. Bucky, Supergirl, Stinger, Flash, Invisible Woman, and Black Widow will do reconnaissance on NOVA’s labs and various locations and formute a plan of entry. The new inhibitor will likely be guarded. Falcon, Loki, Booster, Batgirl, Wonder Woman, Superman, Superboy, and Robin - you will be on the ground. Remember that part of your job is to discredit NOVA whenever you have the chance.

Record unnecessary force and hand it over to Oracle to distribute. It can’t be traced back to you. Be a powerful presence and be inspiring. There is a reason you are the group most visible to the public.” Of course, Clark would be doing much more with the Gazette, but Bruce was not going to divulge that. “Scarlet Witch, Wiccan, Zatanna, and Nightwing, your job is to locate all of NOVA’s hidden facilities so the reconnaissance team can get to work. Once you’ve done that, you will focus on the facilities that are detaining mutants. We already know there are more. After you assist the reconnaissance team you will go to District X and consult with Cyclops on how to proceed. I have no doubt he will be involved, or already has a plan in place. Offer your assistance." His expression and tone turned somber. "Scarlet Witch and Nightwing can prepare you for when the inhibitors get in your way. We face a real threat of mutants, metahumans, and aliens being stripped of their powers. Everyone needs to understand this and be prepared. Those of you who need to fine tune your hand to hand combat, Scarlet Witch and Nightwing are who to see.” They worked well with each other - and in this situation, that was vital. “I understand many of you are skilled in this area, but consider how much of that skill is reliant on strength and superhuman ability. Ask for help if you need it, or your pride will get someone killed.”

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Steve was watching his meeting, their meeting, start to fall apart. He knew how Tony was, he had anticipated how Loki was, but he didn't know Zatanna well. He didn't actually think she was trying to instigate, but he did think that it might come off that way. But there was nothing to be done about it now. What was said was said. Still... he had been waiting for this for such a long time. More than anything, Steve Rogers had wanted this meeting and he had seen all the potential it could hold. It was why he had barely let Bruce get the offer to work together and reform out of his mouth before he was agreeing. They were going to be amazing. All of them. He just needed them all to understand what they were doing had reason and rhyme for all of them. They were all essential. It was watching Clint of all people embarrass the Avengers, and embarrass Natasha that had Steve crestfallen. His expression reflected the redheaded assassin's utter disappointment as he watched Clint leave, knowing how that looked. He knew there were extenuating circumstances, but he also knew he was going to have to advocate for Clint and for the validity of his presence to Bruce now when Steve knew he was a good man and a great Avenger. He let out a slow breath, but didn't let his shoulders sag, even if he wanted to, but that expression of disappointment began to etch deeper as Tony was who he was and Loki was who he was, and Cassie seemed to get up in arms when no one was discrediting her. There were some who were focused and productive and wanted to be there. Steve could see them, but it was hard not to feel like the gaps between their teams were going to struggle to be bridged into a cohesive unit if they were picking at one another, protesting precautions and getting snippy about what they should be allowed to do, snapping at one another about nothing.

"Come on, guys," he finally said after Tony's second jibe at Loki, which thankfully wasn't followed up by a rebuttal. There was a distinct sigh in his voice as he did it, and he was about to say more when Robin burst in and set down another piece to this ridiculously intricate puzzle. At the very least, it would give them all something to focus on and get them back on track. Something tangible. He gave a gentle nod to Johnny, opening his mouth to say that they had that covered when Zatanna was suddenly speaking but then Diana was bringing it back to trust. The amorphous shifting of tones was hard to keep up with, so he simply waited his turn. Wanda beat him to addressing the concerns about the X-Men and seemingly putting them to sleep, which eliminated one more opposition. He held out a hand to Cassie to stop her. "Not yet, Stinger," he said to her firmly, not because she was a child or because he thought she was incapable or whatever had set her off. It was because they didn't know what that thing was and Zatanna's forcefield was keeping it contained and safe. "You'll get time to look at it when we figure out what the hell it is. Just..." He sighed again, grateful to Bruce for taking over and divvying up the roles they had discussed. It was helpful, he thought, to the people calling for action to know their tangible roles. And it showed that he and Bruce hadn't just been sitting by with nothing to discuss or say. It was their credibility and he hoped it convinced people to trust that he and Bruce did actually know what they were doing. He had led many of these people before and they had followed him. And even if most didn't know Bruce well, so many people knew Batman. He was undeniable. The support of Wonder Woman and Superman held sway too. He just needed them to trust.

So he listened to Bruce lay it all out before nodding. "Wanda can offer something else to those who are training that I think is an invaluable asset. These guy are developing ways to shut off our abilities. And I know that so many of us rely on those abilities. Without them, some of us feel powerless. But not having your abilities doesn't make you useless. Not a single person here is. So I would encourage that you all take advantage of trying to work with Nightwing for brush ups--we all can benefit from keeping in practice--but with Wanda using her powers to cancel yours out. Find where your weaknesses are without your powers and then train those muscles until they ache. She can show you what it will feel like to find yourself in a combat situation without anything but your body to help you. I don't know exactly how NOVA's inhibitors in this second batch are going to work--" though he was really hoping he didn't end up 5'4" with Scarlet Fever again, "--But while Tony and Shuri are working on ways to work around them even in the short term, we only have ourselves to rely on." He met the gaze of every single person in turn, just a brief flicker for some and a lingering look for others. Natasha, for her part, seemed shut off, her face blank. She was listening, he knew, but he worried what was going on behind that impassivity. It was something to be dealt with later. "We're strong even without the things that make us different from the rest of the world. We have special abilities, but we're people first. There are a hundred other mutants, metahumans, aliens, and all the rest in this city. We gathered you because, like Batman said, we all have a part to play. So let's put aside the 'me' and start working toward this goal as a cohesive unit."

SUPERMAN: Bruce, as always, had covered all conceivable fronts. That wasn’t surprising. If he didn’t believe him capable of doing that, Clark wouldn’t have been as insistent that the League needed to reform in the first place (with or without their new addition of Avengers). It had been tempting to get in the middle of the squabbling, which they didn’t have time for, but it ceased well enough on its own. He wasn’t there to play bouncer, but he was certainly willing to do it if necessary. Tony Stark seemed to know everything but how to exercise a modicum if respect, and Loki was much the same. Duly noted. Neither had made a stellar impression on him in their limited time on the floor. One glance at the device Damian had brought in let him know there were no explosives within. It wasn’t lead. He could see through the casing, but Zatanna and the others had leapt at it and saying so seemed futile. Besides, just because he could see into it didn’t mean he knew what he was looking at. “You’ll have me where you need me,” he affirmed once all the roles had been handed out. He’d end up where he wanted to be - a face people saw as familiar, someone they could count on, someone who could help. He still had so much lost ground to make up for.

BLACK WIDOW: Natasha was still so utterly embarrassed that she had to actually use her Red Room training not to belie how she was feeling. That slip in her expression, in front of many strangers had not been acceptable, and she had immediately compartmentalized it and put it away, her face completely impassive. James would know what she was doing, but the blood in her ears told her it wasn't working as well as it usually did. Clint was off, and his memories were gone... but she'd never remembered him being such a Мудак. Asshole. When he had saved her from the Red Room, they hadn't been so old. And he had been patient, gentle and good even when he had nothing contribute. When he didn't know what to say. He belonged on this team. He belonged fighting alongside them. And she had apparently been too optimistic to think that the very essence of being a good man would still be there under it all. It wasn't often that Natasha Romanoff miscalculated and she clamped down even harder to compensate. Her face was so blank that it might be unsettling, honestly, and her muscles were tense as she nodded with her assignment. The heat of James' hand registered thereafter and, if he were looking at her, he would see the barest twitch of the corner of her eye. As if she had been slapped or as if, were she anyone but Natasha, her eyes might be pooled with angry and embarrassed tears. "Understood," she replied, voice level and even in response to her assignment. She very nearly left it at that. But her green eyes flicked to Batman, and someone who knew the power of the barest shift in expression, she tensed her jaw visibly before adding, "Barton is compromised." She couldn't just say nothing, not with the look on Steve's face. But she wouldn't apologize or make excuses. "It will be dealt with." Her tone was direct, to the point. "It was my mistake."

ROBIN: Damian had remained seated in a scowling silence ever since arriving, letting everyone jump over the device he had brought forward. He shot a sharp glare in Zatanna's direction at her snide remark and curled his fists beneath his folded arms. “Better than a two-bit stage magician.” He remarked sharply, but was drawn from his thoughts as Bruce spoke up regarding the device. “Of course I checked it for tracking equipment and explosives. I'm not an amateur, Father...” He retorted with a frown. “The building was older...but Kite-Man seemed to think it was one of NOVA's headquarters for some reason when he explained what he was doing. It didn't really seem like somewhere a government agency would hideout though.”

As Bruce divided everyone onto their assigned teams, the teen couldn't help but crack a small smirk. “Patrol and street work? Good thing I'm always doing that anyway, isn't it?” He stated with a humph. He turned his attention momentarily to the woman 'Black Widow' and regarded her posture and stance. As a former assassin himself, he could discern the minute details in her demeanor. She was lethal, that much he could ascertain. He just wasn't sure how, or what connection she had to the man that had left their meeting. This meeting didn't seem like it had been going the greatest before he arrived.

Damian didn't know what to make of the circus show they had assembled. There was the usual crowd – Clark, Diana, Barry...his family, Zatanna and Michael. People he was familiar with. It was the other group of people he wasn't certain what to make of. This 'Captain America' seemed trustworthy enough, but the Scarlet Witch and Loki were questionable. His brow furrowed slightly at the sight of Peter Parker, having kept up with the riots extensively since they happened. Tony Stark had so much arrogance to him it was nauseating and he was glad that he wasn't going to have to be working with him or this 'Black Panther' on anything. He was equally glad though he hadn't been placed with Oracle and Tim. He was skilled with tech, but it was true he was better used on the streets. As for the others? He really didn't know what to make of them.

“The teams sound pretty solid, Father. Oracle can make sure everyone stays competent on her team...I'm sure the tech team is capable enough as well. Anything we can use against NOVA will be vital.. weapons especially, preferably throwable.” He eyed Tony before looking back at Bruce and settling back into the seat.

ZATANNA: Zatanna made an apologetic gesture in Wanda's direction. She would've sent up a flare that said, "I'm Sorry!" but she'd already been accused of being irreverent once, and it probably wouldn't help. This whole thing was just so not her bag. She didn't do tech, she didn't do groups, and she didn't do this many big personalities in one room. The truth was, she was tense. What if they all fucked up? What if she fucked up? She'd never been the weak link before. And she had all this ... she'd been angry for so long. Angry at Clark, angry at NOVA, angry at every government that had asked for her help and then turned around and claimed her very existence was a crime. It was a lot to process, so she just hadn't. She'd gone to Tokyo, toured Europe, returned to America in a shower of praise and demands for her performance, and parked herself in Star City to do - something, anything - but without a plan about exactly what that was. And now here they were, and she'd been so sure that SOMEONE would have a plan. Okay, more specifically, she'd been sure that Bruce would have a plan, and Clark would say yes and do it perfectly, Diana would have notes about the battle strategies, Barry would either babble or do something shocking and effective, and the others would all add their bits in and it would all just ... flow. But there were so many of them here, people she didn't know. And she'd spent so long away from these people. So here she was, being an asshole. Fuck. This was all Bruce's fault. If he hadn't looked at her like that, she wouldn't have gotten all introspective. "Never expected to, Wayne. I'm just the magical consultant."

Maybe she was a little harsh on Damian, but no one in this room seemed to appreciate the ways that magic could ruin their plans. and NOVA probably didn't use magic. Probably. Hopefully. "Laever ruoy sterces dna hsinab lla slleps nopu uoy!" Zatanna gathered glowing light within the forcefield before her spell was done. "I'm trying to be good, see? You know I'm shit at this stuff."

WICCAN: His concern about communication with the mutants was mostly quelled, and there wasn’t much he could do about it either way. With the way the teams were split up, he would have some say in it at least. Batman had said part of what they were doing was collaborating. Maybe it was naive of him to think that his presence and Wanda’s presence would be enough to ease his grandfather’s reaction (should there be one), but he hoped it was true. Either way, he said nothing more of it and only nodded his agreement with the assignment. He glanced sideways at his mother long enough to whisper, “Go team,” with a little spark of red, like a burst of tiny fireworks, from his fingertips.

ORACLE: In truth, Barbara tended to prefer working in smaller groups, especially when it came to strong personalities, but the need couldn't be ignored here. At the end of the day, everyone in this room wanted the same thing, and needed each other to achieve that. It's that thought that keeps her from responding harshly, "Theoretically, Stark. Nothing I say is going to happen without plenty of testing." she starts nodding slowly as she takes in his full idea and, quite suddenly, pulls her laptop out of her bag and sets it on her lap, beginning to compile research. It's her laptop that also hides a small smile at the outburst from the clearly younger hero. She had to resist calling out a wry been there, done that. She looks at Stark again over her glasses, about to say she was already on it, when Damian came in with a burst. She doesn't waste a moment, wheeling closer with the open laptop on her lap, "Nice, Robin," she smirks as she peers at the camera, eyes following it as it went. She shoots a look at Z, as well as at Steph, but her mind is working far too quickly about the camera. She manages to perk up, smile, and nod when she's mentioned. She'll take the help gladly, and she even makes a note to ask Steph if she wants to help more, later. She's also intrigued by the shrinking she saw, and her mind trailed off to the best resources to research Pym Particles. However, Bruce speaking caught her attention with a minute smile, satisfied that he brought the order they very clearly needed as a group. As he finished and others chimed in, she resolutely pressed a key that sent her contact to everyone.

"You should all have just recieved my secure contact. Some of you know Oracle, but for those that don't? Use me as a resource. I have eyes all over this city. If you're in a sticky situation and need an escape, I'll get you out. If you're outnumbered, I'll send backup. If you think there's even a remote possibility your tech may be compromised, better to be safe than sorry.  I'm your eyes and ears when you need to see and hear further than you physically can. Don't be cocky out there, use your resources." she pauses only long enough to sweep her eyes around, "You'll all get a device to communicate securely with the whole team within 48 hours. In the mean time, I'll route any contact needed. And finally-- like Batman said, don't underestimate the value of videos at the moment. We can do a lot of damage to their relationship with society before we ever touch them, if we're smart about it, so let's be smart."

LOKI: He hadn't really been trying to instigate anything, though that was naturally the way he tended to communicate in order to get any sort of recognition. Annoyance was better than being ignored when he was right. Loki had grown up on Asgard, always right but never loud enough about it, always trying to help but disregarded as Odin's second son and the one that would never chosen for king in spite of his rampant qualification and dedication to emulating the Allfather to the best of his ability. He had learned very quickly that the councilor in him got him next to nowhere. But the spirit of what he had said, in spite of its antagonism, was that that girl was young, small, and unsafe at NOVA, which no one would know better than he did considering he spent every day there watching the kinds of things that could be done to her. Hand to hand was precisely what needed to be worked on. Combat training. But his point, it seemed, was lost the moment that Stark elected start speaking again. "My concern matches yours." He shot back. "How dare I question the survivability of a Midgardian woman I don't know well? If you were listening, Stark, which I suspect not considering the only sound you seem to enjoy is your own voice--" Something he didn't fault Tony for, as the same could be said for Loki himself, "--I was within the realm of agreeing. But, once again, I lack the understanding as to why you would put in a second insider when you yourself just brought up the risks to this girl's person without your 'faraday cage'." How should he know what the whelp was capable of? He saw a girl with powers. Take them away, what did she have? He didn't know, which was why he had asked.

The boy's entrance distracted him and he looked down at the device. He had seen similar parts at NOVA, but he didn't know precisely what this device did. He had only been there six months so his clearance level wasn't quite high enough. Still, when it was announced that it gave of a significant amount of heat, Loki blanched, mind jumping over to his last poignant memories of heat. "How much heat...?" he asked the one who had assessed it. Loki could and did still function under and after heat torture, but it put everything under duress for him. Needless to say, it made him a little uneasy. Thankfully, the doll that landed in front of him was enough to distract him, though not without him smirking at Zatanna's use of magic. He hadn't needed incants since he was a child. Still, he shook his head; it was powerful enough, he thought. His attention turned to the doll and, with a wave of his hand, he had it looking like Stark and he very nearly considered blowing it up, but he was capable of acting like an adult, unlike the newly departed Barton, who hadn't been half so... spirited when Loki had worked with him eight years ago. Maybe he'd changed. What was interesting was the female spider's response. He remembered taunting her back then about love. He'd thought it was 'for children', according to her. Perhaps not. Ultimately, he elected to quiet himself. He had his job. He made his contributions and he'd solidify himself as invaluable the longer he risked himself to bring the right information forward. He would just have to wait until then to prove himself. He did hope the Scarlet Witch was right and the meeting would come to a close soon. As enthusiastic as some seemed to be, it was going to start to drag on. To Zatanna, he spoke mentally again: Exceedingly testy bunch, this group. Is it not?

IRON MAN: Holy hell, was he still talking? Tony was too transfixed on the device in his hands to pay any service to hot air and useless arguments. "Don't care," he said dismissively, giving a wave of two fingers. He did stop his inspection enough to check his phone and save Oracle as a quick dial. "Catchy name."

NIGHTWING: "Get it together," Dick snapped, and even though he wasn't directing the words at anyone specific, it was obvious which people he was addressing. "This is a team and we have to work like one, or this is just going to fall apart. You've all worked on teams before, this shouldn't be news to you." It angered him to hear heartfelt speeches from both Clark and Steve, men he admired, and then see them be met with disrespect. He knew how difficult it was to lead a team and how little appreciation was given for doing it. "We're on it," he said to Bruce, unable to help a grin at Billy's fireworks even though he only saw them out of the corner of his eye. "I'll probably be asking you to do that again later. We're in dire need of some positivity around here.”

FLASH: Finally there was some plans being set into motion. Barry listened quietly as the talk about the camera and teams went on and on. Once things started to be ironed out, he grinned to himself and was on his feet - zipping to and fro between different people and leaning on their shoulders as he spoke a little and was gone again to someone else. "I think these teams are great. It's just nice to finally have a group to rely on again - and it'll be nice to have Oracle in our ears once more. It's been kind of lonely out there." He grinned. He zipped to Damian for a quick hair-ruffle and 'Good job kid' before he was back in his seat and straightening himself. "Sorry, I'm good now. You know me, sitting too long gets me pent up." He remarked with a sheepish grin on his face. It was obvious where Wally got a lot of his quirks from when you looked at Barry's antics sometimes.

HUMAN TORCH: Johnny offered no more verbal feedback. He had absolutely no place on the team he’d been put on. What the hell was he going to be able to do to help with the tech side of anything? He sat back in his seat and ran his hand along his jaw, casting a brief, defeated look at his sister. Maybe the Avengers had been a mistake. If Reed and Ben were there...maybe it’d be different.

BATGIRL: Okay, so maybe being put on ground patrol made sense, especially because Steph had every version of social media that existed. She already had a few ideas of how to shame NOVA and start a flame campaign against them. She knew how those things worked. Still, it stung a little that she wasn't asked to help train anyone in martial arts when that was literally what she did for a living. There was no denying that Dick was more skilled, but it would have been nice if Bruce asked her to help out too. But she didn't say anything about it. Even now, she wasn't sure if Bruce fully respected her - and it was something she still, years later, desperately wanted. But it meant something that she was here. There was a reason he asked her to be part of this new Justice Avenging team, or whatever it was, and she was determined to prove that she could be trusted and relied upon. "Anything else we need to cover? Because I can't stop thinking about those doughnuts someone left on the table. And I call dibs on the one with the rainbow sprinkles."

SCARLET WITCH: Wanda hadn't even considered that they might want her to use her powers that way. She could fight, but even that training had come from Steve. Surely there were better martial fighters. But when Steve spoke, it clicked. Because Wanda could do that. And she knew what it was like to train without the use of her powers because Steve had taught her to do just that when she had first joined the Avengers. It had been invaluable. She nodded to Steve, her own power running over her palms before she looked at her son with a gentle smile before catching Kara looking at her and returning that smile as well. Her expression remained for a moment longer before she turned to look at Bruce once more, the barest hint of gratitude showing on her face. She was an Avenger because she'd always been an Avenger, but many of the other people in this room didn't know her and wouldn't understand the complexity of her history. They'd see her as a liability. And they might be right, but she worked constantly to overcome that. And she knew that Steve already trusted her. But for some reason, Bruce had extended it to her enough to care about her in spite of what she had done. She knew Bruce Wayne well enough to know that trust didn't come easily to him. Wanda cared about him deeply, but more than that... he could see past the things she'd done to not only care about her as a woman, but still as a hero as well. He trusted her enough to put her with his son to help on a tangible level which embraced her powers rather than fearing them. She was so sick of being feared or feeling used. It mattered to her. She could feel Bruce's youngest son's eyes on her, and she turned to meet them, unabashed in doing so. She didn't know that she trusted that child, but she didn't question his presence if Bruce was here. Still, she didn't like the look behind his eyes even if his face was mostly impassive, so she found herself looking away. "I'll be happy to help anyone who needs me," she agreed with Steve.

BOOSTER GOLD: Michael was ecstatic. He was put onto a team with both Wonder Woman and Superman - how much better could it get? (Well, adding Bats would have been that little cherry on top, but two out of three wasn't bad.) He shot Clark a few finger guns, already thinking about all the PR he'd get from being out on the streets; all that air time, not to mention Goldstar and his good looks, could be a valuable platform to help discredit NOVA. All he needed was Skeets to help hash out the details. If all else failed, people liked money? (And disappoint Superman? Okay, maybe not bribery.)

SPIDERMAN: It really surprised Peter to hear that they were sticking Johnny with him and the rest of the computer geeks. As much as he enjoyed spending practically all of his time with him, he knew that Johnny was better suited out in the city. He had a face everyone recognized and loved, so sticking him with patrol seemed to be the only logical choice; he wouldn't question it now, though, not when there had been so much negativity in the group to begin with. He'd rather not add more wood to the fire. Still, Peter was glad he was able to help where he could, even if it meant he was still stuck inside.

SUPERGIRL: The only person Kara knew on her team was Barry, because of their previous work with the Justice League, and she wondered what her new teammates would be like and what the breadth of their skills were. What she knew was limited, although Invisible Woman was pretty self explanatory, and Stinger already made it clear what she was capable of. It was exciting and a little intimidating to work with others she never even met before. She gave a little wave at Bucky and Black Widow since they were across from her, then smiled at Cassie and Susan at the other end of the table. She could introduce herself later.

INVISIBLE WOMAN: Susan felt for Johnny - she really did, and while there had to be a good reason as to why they'd stick him on that team, she wasn't going to dwell on it. Instead, she offered him a sympathetic look of her own before her eyes caught the wave that Supergirl threw in James and Natasha's direction. She returned the smile given, grateful that their group seemed to be made of capable, level-headed people (hopefully, none of them made her regret that assessment); there was a nervousness there, if only because it had been too long since she'd been a part of anything like this, but the excitement to be working with a team again seemed to trump that.

SUPERBOY: Despite the fact that the reason why they would be working was worrying, he was actually pretty excited about it. It would be his first mision as an adult, and would be nice to finally be taken seriously, differently from how things were before and how he was seen just as a kid. He was one, but he was not useless. "I don't think so? I think that was all," he nodded, "I definitely agree with you, I could use some of those donuts right now," he told Steph, he couldn't think about anything else, they already thought about everything, but since he was not used to it all, he could be missing something. Which he doubted he was, despite his lack of experience, everyone seemed to be ready to leave already. 

CAPTAIN AMERICA: With everything assigned and everyone seemingly amenable to their roles--no one had really protested, though Steve did regret one or two placements but understood their necessity--it seemed as if the meeting had ultimately been a success. There were ultimately people that he wanted to talk more with, and some people for whom he wanted contingencies put into place. But, for the most part, this was an active plan with active positions and jobs for everyone. He was going to be busy, finally, doing what he was meant to be doing alongside someone who was absolutely brilliant at what he did. Steve had only collaborated with Bruce a few times so far, but it seemed to fit. He trusted Bruce's tactical skills, and Bruce seemed to trust him enough to take what he said into consideration. And as a result, they were finally going to accomplish what they should have done years ago. Of everyone in this room, all of them but two had been opposed to the ban. Tony had been... complicated, but he was here now and Steve knew where his allegiances lie. He didn't know Clark well, but he knew that Superman had been in support. It had been mindboggling to him, but maybe one day he would ask about it. It didn't matter now, though. What did matter was that they were all here, joined for this one purpose. There was still work to be done. That much was clear from the way Natasha spoke. Steve looked to Bucky, but there was nothing to be done about it in the middle of this room. He'd talk to him about it later. But for now, it seemed like a good time to close it up.

Getting to his feet, Steve took in the shield on the table a genuine smile pulled at his lips. "I think we all know what we have to do. Batman and I will keep up with all the teams and make sure that information gets disseminated where it needs to go as we receive it. Feel free to reach out with suggestions, new developments, anything. But I just want to thank you all for trusting. We're taking back this city. Every last one of us. And when it comes time, all the work we're doing now is going to pay off." He looked around at the group before giving a final, firm nod. "So let's get to it."

[elliepassmore]

A Court of Mist and Fury Review

5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: fantasy, Fae, vague retellings, Persephone & Hades, found families At the start of the book, we're back in the Spring Court, though some things have changed since Feyre brought Amarantha down. For starters, there's a lot more people around than there were in the first one. We get to see a bit what court life is like in Spring and the kinds of people who reside there. They turn out to be pretty similar to what we'd think of when we think of snobby human nobility, so, naturally, they grate on Feyre's nerves. Unlike ACoTaR, we also get to see two of the other courts: the Night Court and the Summer Court. The Night Court is...definitely not what it was set up to be in the first book. Not to give too many spoilers, but it has two faces. One side, Velaris and the moonstone palace, is luxurious and vibrant, but peaceful. The other side, Hewn City, is dark and cunning and cruel, the side that Amarantha modeled her domain after. I really enjoyed seeing the stark differences between the two sides of the court, especially since they provide us with two kinds of cities, both beautiful in their own ways, but so completely different from one another. We also get to see a part of the court that's somewhere between the two, which is the Illyrian camps. The camps are mostly tents with a few stone buildings, and they fit more with the cunning and darkness of the Hewn City, but not nearly as cruel. Seeing so much of the one court definitely helps get a better grasp on the feel and nature of the place, which I really liked. The other court we see is the Summer Court, and only for a couple of chapters. Similar to Velaris, we get to see a city in the Summer Court that's vibrant, with the people there enjoying their High Lord's presence and aid in recovery. Unlike Velaris, the city feels more light. It definitely has the feel of a city on the sea in a way that Velaris doesn't, despite it also being located on the water. They have obviously different feels and tones to them, and I liked the subtle details Maas added to make these cities different despite their similarities. We also get to learn a bit more about the traditions of Prythia in this one as well. Having seen Calanmai and Nynsar in the first one, we now get to see the solstice and the Tithe of the Spring Court, as well as Starfall in the Night Court. Each holiday has its own background and their introduction through Feyre feels natural. I think there's a tricky balance when it comes to authors introducing world building to their readers and characters. Adding the information too obviously makes it feel forced, but including too little information too subtly can make it confusing. I think we get a good balance here, with Feyre having the holidays/events explained to her as they're happening or having her give a little info and brushing off the rest as "I wasn't really paying attention," the latter of which can only really be accepted because of her state of mind at the moment the holiday is occurring, but it works.

The plot amps things up a lot. If we thought Amarantha was bad, Hybern turns out to be so much worse, and they’re cunning enough to get their claws in in places we wouldn’t expect. I love how the tension was built up over the pages and there were times of ‘wtf is going on’ sprinkled throughout. Since the main showdown wasn’t until the end of the book, most of it was spent strategizing and hoping against hope that things would go right for once.

In terms of Feyre's state of mind, Maas once again does a brilliant job of showing the different ways people deal with trauma and depression. Feyre, for one, definitely has symptoms of PTSD--nightmares, triggers, feeling trapped, needing a distraction, inability to do things that once brought her joy, apathy--as well as, separately, symptoms of depression. She starts out having a pretty rough time and the switch to healing happens gradually and over months at a time, so despite her body's quick healing, Feyre isn't completely better until near the end of the book, and 'better' doesn't necessarily mean 100% okay. I especially enjoyed how Maas showed Feyre changing as she healed, because, let's face it, we're probably all aware (and it you're not, you're about to be) that trauma changes people and that, equally, healing from said trauma can also change a person. Both of these things hold true for Feyre, so she isn't the same person at the beginning of the book as she was at the end of the last one, and she's not the same person at the end of this book as she is at the beginning of it. In terms of healing, we also get to see Feyre separating from the mentality of abuse that Tamlin had her in. For physical growth, Feyre discovers she holds powers from each of the High Lords who gave her life, and it's super fun to read the scenes where she's training/experimenting with them (like most people who've read the book, I'm especially partial to the water-wolves scene). Tamlin is another character who has to deal with his trauma in this one...though maybe we should accept now that just about every character in this book has trauma they're healing/have healed from. Anyway, Tamlin desperately tried to protect Feyre in the first book, and we saw how jealous and possessive he could get, but what happened with Amarantha just pushed him overboard. He's now 1ox worse than in the first book, and basically smothers Feyre trying to keep her safe, continually triggering her PTSD and leading to the events leading into Part 2 of the book. What I like about this is that there were signs in ACoTaR that Tamlin could very easily turn into an abusive person and a lot of people ignored them or fell into the trap of believing them to be romantic--I'm not saying everyone did, but a lot of people definitely did, myself included--so his attitude and behavior doesn't come from nowhere. It's a good example of how trauma causes different people to react differently, though it's not an excuse, especially when Tamli does some pretty terrible things in this book and tries to play it off as "it was rough" or "I love you" or whatever else he says. We get to see more of Rhysand in this book, as well as more of his court. As previously mentioned, he's one of the many characters dealing with his own traumas from Under the Mountain, and we get an explanation for his actions in ACoTaR, proving he wasn't just being a massive dick to be a massive dick, but to protect people and to help Feyre bring Amarantha down without Amarantha knowing. Knowing he was against Amarantha the entire time adds a rape/sexual assault element to his servicing her Under the Mountain, which is addressed by both him and Feyre during the book. It's clear he has trauma from that, it's expressed multiple times throughout the book, and Maas handles the situation well. It isn't romanticized or trivialized, and his reservations and trauma from it are considered valid and aren't brushed aside or made fun of. Rhys ends up being a very complex character, with different sides to him, much like how his court has many different sides. He has the cunning, cruel side he shows to Hewn City; the relaxed, kind side he shows to Velaris; the warrior he shows to the Illyrians; and the caring and friendly side he gives to his Inner Court alone. Inside Rhys' Inner Court are Mor, Cassian, Azriel, and Amren. Mor is his cousin in that loose sense that Maas has when it comes to cousins being related, and grew up in Hewn City. She's funny, acts irreverent, and fun-loving. She's willing to give people the space they need, but she's also willing to go to the mat for her family or push them when they need it. Like Feyre and Rhysand, she's survived darkness and trauma and came out the other side, though her healing was done centuries ago. Cassian and Azriel are both Illyrian warriors Rhysand befriended when they were kids. Cassian is fiery and pushes, but is unceasingly caring and would do anything for his family. He's the jokster of the group, definitely. Azriel is the more quiet of the two, the spymaster, and has a quieter method of caring for his family. Amren is a creature from another world who took the form of a High Fae. She's a bit scary, definitely otherworldly, and is surprisingly understanding about what others need in order to get things done. I wouldn't say she's caring, but she definitely cares for her family and people. We don't really see a lot of Lucien, but when he is around he mostly acts like Tamlin's lackey and not Feyre's friend. Nesta and Elain are in this book a bit more than the last one, and play a pretty crucial role in the middle and the end of the book. I liked the both of them by the time the last book ended, but Nesta's reactions toward Feyre and the rest of the Night Court made me dislike her a little, though her sparring with Cassian was hilarious and I treasure their interactions. Likewise, both Elaine and Nesta showed fire when it came to protecting each other and their people from the looming threat of Hybern. Tarquin, the High Lord of the Summer Court, makes a reappearance in this one too, along with some of his still-living family members. He seems like a decent enough guy, new to the whole ruling thing, but as he himself says, he hasn't quite learned the cunning tricks and backstabbery that High Lords and their courts often employ. This one's my favorite book in the series because we get to see more of the world of Prythia and we get to meet a lot of new, pretty awesome characters. I love the Inner Circle, they all fit together so well and have different methods and ways of doing things, but it works. I also really like the Feyre and Rhys we see in this book, so different from the ones we saw in the last book, but better for it. And Tamlin....when I first heard that he and Feyre were having issues(*SPOILER* and wouldn't end up together*END SPOILER*) I was disappointed, but after I read the book for the first time, I liked how it worked out much better. It’s a vague Persephone and Hades retelling, which may or may not have something to do with why I like it so much. The P&H myth has so many different renditions from ancient times to now and it hasn’t really been all that explored by YA fiction, so I love whenever there’s a nod to it somewhere, and if you know the more popular versions of the myth, there are more than sprinkles of it in the frame of the book. Honestly though, I think this is the best book in the series. ACoTaR was good, ACoWaR was pretty good too but with an...odd ending, and ACoFaS was an awesome bit of fluff, but this one is the richest in characters, world building, and plot.

[prorevenge]

The puppet is now the puppeteer.

I'm a fairly new to the whole posting on Reddit thing and have just made this alternative account to share my story. Sorry for any weird formatting, obligatory first-time-poster-long-time-lurker warning.

Also, a TL;DR at the bottom since this is gonna be a long one.

​

The Context:

When I was four, my mother had just gotten with her new boyfriend. We'll call him B for Bastard. He seemed nice on the surface, he was an illegal immigrant that worked for a factory and lived in a ghetto apartment. But, just under his exterior was a cruel, evil monster that I knew was going to harm my mother and I in some way or another.

Soon after meeting B, my mother and him bought a house under my grandfather's name since they both had poor credit and wanted me in a good school system. We move in fast and get a little dog just before Christmas; we looked like a modern Hallmark family with the kid and the dog and the happy couple.

That is, until B's vibe changed.

He started to look at me in ways that made me uncomfortable. I wanted to tell my mom, but she was a firm believer in the "innocent until proven guilty" idea and I thought she wouldn't believe me. He started exposing himself around me, encouraged me to join him, even touched me in ways I couldn't understand and hated. I was 6.

When I was 8, we began learning what sexual abuse was in households, and I put the pieces together quickly. I still thought that my mother wouldn't believe me, though, and I grew numb to the habitual abuse.

When I was 9, mom got pregnant with my sister. I was nervous and cried every night knowing that she wouldn't be safe from this horrible, gnarly bastard that my mother called her boyfriend.

B refused to pick up extra hours at work when money got tight, so my mom picked up a second job whilst pregnant and he stayed home to watch me. Things only got worse. Then, the physical abuse and extreme mental stress on my mother started around the fourth month. We lost my sister on Christmas Eve, 2009, to a placenta abruption brought on by stress.

I'll never forget the sight of my mother in her dark hospital room. Sitting in her rocking chair. Empty. Lost. Numb.

B turned to me to let his frustrations out, both sexually and physically.

Mom was blissfully unaware as her daughter went into a downward spiral at the age of 11 and developed a phobia of boys even looking at her the wrong way. I made friends with all the weird kids at school, cut my hair, dressed in all black, started picking fights, got bullied for never speaking to anyone outside my tiny circle, and resented her and her precious B. She loved him despite all the abuse, or more so she was scared to leave him for fear of what he might do to her. If only she knew half the shit he did to her daughter.

In 2012, Mom became pregnant again. On October 22, 2012, my brother was born. From the videos I'd been introduced to by B, I knew my brother wasn't going to be safe, either. He swung both ways.

I became fiercely protective of my mother and brother. At the age of 12, I carried around heavy objects and hid them in my room in case he ever tried anything. Sadly, I was a 100 lbs. girl with the upper body strength of a toddler, and he was a fully grown "man" that could easily hurtle me across the states. He also had a zero tolerance policy with my brother for the sole fact that he was a boy.

My brother was born premature and would need the extra help to catch up. This didn't stop his father from beating him when he cried, yelling at him when he played with his toys, reprimanded him for using his left hand more than his right.

He was only 2.

And don't even get me started on when my brother played with the dog.

The dog, J, was starting to come to old age. She was crotchety and didn't like having her hair, ears, or tail pulled. Brother did this on accident one time, and this led to him getting the beating of a lifetime that left him almost mentally retarded, had it persisted. Ironic, too, because B didn't even like the dog. At this point, he was just looking for excuses to control and beat us whenever he could.

Behind the scenes, he also manipulated and threatened my mother. He had control of the bank accounts, health insurance, social security info, all sorts of papers that he could do with what he pleased. Mom, Brother, and I were puppets on strings in this sick household.

Then there was that sunny summer day.

They had gotten into a fight over who even remembers now, and I hear my door slam and lock. "I'm taking this kid with me back to Portugal, and you can't do anything about it, you stupid bitch." Oh, no. Not on my watch. In hysterics, I called the police and alerted them that my mom's now-husband was trying to kidnap my brother, said he was going to bring him back to Portugal and that we would never see him again. They came in an instant, and I jumped out the window to meet with them. My mother, grandmother, and brother had already been pulled from the house. Mom was still in hysterics, clutching her baby. I told the cops my side of things, despite my mother pleading for me to shut up and that everything was fine. Things clearly weren't fine, but when the police took B's testimony, he simply pleaded that he was just trying to take Brandon for a walk.

B was left off with a warning.

I couldn't take it anymore.

​

This is where the fun begins.

​

When I was 14, I had a breakdown in front of my mom and told her everything. And I mean, everything. She called him and told him what he told me. He came home immediately, and I could see the fire in her eyes. Sadly, he had more control over him than I thought, for she took his side by brute force and I was silenced. However, now I had the upper hand. I had used my voice to speak, and I could use it again. He became more complacent with me, but not towards my mother and brother. Nonetheless, I used this to my advantage.

With age, I learned how to channel the silver tongue that my birth dad had gifted me with. I told my mother as subtly as possible to watch her husband, for he could molest Brother the same way he did to me. Or even better, he could forget about his family entirely and run off with another woman. Anything went with B. She slowly fell under my word, and the traps laid themselves out without me even having to lift a finger.

​

When I was 17, B began a new habit of going to the gym.

In his work clothes.

I'm sure you could already see where this was going.

Mother swore to me that after my senior year she would be divorcing this bastardly, sorry excuse for a man. However, I influenced her to keep her eyes open and her peripheral vision even more open. This is how she found the odd charges on her bank statements to numerous bars and hotels for hundreds of dollars. She noticed one singular pattern in the paper bank statements that were sent to us every month (usually B would rip them up right in front of her and told her not to look at them, but this time she got her hands on a duplicate that had been sent to us on request). A hotel near where B worked, along with a bar that was located close to the hotel. He was too full of himself to take her to a hotel, even saying that he wouldn't want to waste a single week of his life in a cramped hotel room with his fat bitch of a wife.

Using the hotel's name, my mother looked it up and began her detective work. She called them one day whilst at work.

​

"Hi, is this (XXX) Hotel?"

-"Yes, how can I help you?"

"I just wanted to confirm my reservation, it's under '(B)'."

-"One moment, please! ... Alright, yes, you have reservations for the deluxe suite for June XX to June XXX. Anything else I can help you with?"

"Nothing at all, thank you!"

She was seething with pure, unadulterated rage. Turns out he was cheating on her with a husband and wife that he worked with.

She left work early to get me and Brother from our grandparents' house, and she told me everything in hushed tones so that Brother couldn't hear. I told her that I'd told her so, and that she did the right thing. That day, we packed up our shit and said good-bye to the haunted house that we'd lived in for so long. The perfectly manicured lawn and driveway, the white picket fence, and the beautiful shrubs were going to be a huge hit on the housing market.

He tried to hunt us down that day, but we hid out at a church that was far from the town that we had just resided in for 13 years of our lives. That summer, we lived with grandma and grandpa. That was the happiest and most free we'd all ever felt. Too bad J wasn't there to see it all, since we had been forced to put her down due to a severe heart murmur, but trucking her ashes around was enough for me.

That same year in October, we moved into a new house in the boondocks of my mother's old town and made it our own. B was left homeless, drinking himself to death because he had lost everything--his family, his wealth that poured in from my mother's significantly greater paycheck, the house, the luxury cars, the picture-perfect family that he kept on tight strings for far too long. He now resides with his second mistress, since none of his family or "friends" wanted to take his dog ass in. He lives in constant fear, too, because he knows what I did and he knows what he did. He knows that I can get him deported any day of the week, so he treads on egg shells and is as compliant with me as possible. I wish I could say the same with my mother, but I'm not afraid. I know where he lives, and since I've gotten back in contact with my father (he had been locked up for those 13 years due to evading child support and drug dealing), I've learned how to be the one with the leash. No more cowering in fear, thinking that one night he could go on a rampage and kill all of us. No more long nights of staying awake to make sure he didn't go into Brother's room to have his way with him. No more calling the police, manipulating, begging, and pleading with my mother to do the right thing. I have him on a short leash, and any day now I can turn out the real dogs on him: my own pent-up rage, and ICE.

​

Don't get me wrong, I actually quite hate my mother for more recent things she's been doing, however I'll give credit where it's due. I'm so proud of her for taking action after 13 years of being imprisoned by the man she was forced to call her husband.

​

TL;DR: Mom's ex husband controls myself, my mom, and my little brother for years. I gain some control, use it to convince my mom to look into his actions. She soon after leaves and divorces him, and she and I end up running his life back into the mud where it should've remained.

(source) story by (/u/CollegeAnon2022)