#also like im literally going back to campus in 6 days and seeing so many ppl and how can i NOT hug anyone u know. how can i NOT get close

[pepprs]

man..

[meowdarame]

Omg love did you already answer about your bitchass ex cheating on u and about your worst sex experience for your event? I feel like that’s some hot ass tea please kindly spill for us if you’re comfortable doing so

@sanrionymph sent the same ask but i’m going to answer yours, nonnie!

*sighs* alright, get ready because lowkey this was one of my most toxic arcs /hj

also warnings: mentions of abuse, toxic behavior, stalking

on another note: lowkey this story sounds so bad LMAO and i’ll admit that this mf put me thru HELL, but i’m okay now and i honestly see this story as pretty funny!!! i highkey use humor to cope! so there’s no need to like express pity and such, if anything it’d make me feel more uncomfy HAHA. but yes, ‘tis all! hope you enjoy my la croix version of my euphoria ass life!

i dated this dude in my freshman year of college. honestly don’t know why but maybe he gave me the right amount of attention at the wrong time. who knows?

the relationship was alright at first! (in hindsight tho i realize he was HIGHKEY love-bombing me lol but anywho!) but eventually he started becoming more and more of a dick to me: comparing me to his exes, forcing me to help him w/ his laundry and get groceries 🤢, and just kinda hiding me from the public? like his close friends knew we were dating but there were MULTIPLE times where we were walking on campus and i would try to hold his hand and he’d shake it off 😭 talking about “people can see us” OMFG IM GETTING HEATED JUST TYPING THIS LOL but he also like never posted me on any social media platform. ever. like one time we went on a date to this museum and he was taking all these snapchats and videos of LA but never took one of me….? now listen, i usually don’t care about this stuff, like social media validation is whatever to me and i’m not gonna FORCE my s/o to post me HAHA but i just found it soooo sus that he kept me so private.

anyways by this point of our relationship we were like arguing everyday. like it was a MIRACLE if we had one (1) peaceful day. like we were the type to argue w/ each other at cheesecake factory (shoutout drake!) there were soooo many other things that he did too that i won’t go into because lowkey they’re really fucked up so i’ll spare y’all the fine details. and because we were so toxic, i asked him if he wanted to take a break (especially since this was around when COVID first hit and everyone was heading back home because campus was closing up and kicking people out). my ex said no and that he wanted to be with me even though we were gonna be like 2500+ miles apart. so we stayed together even after he moved back to his hometown.

but i had this weird gut feeling he was on tinder tho… this one time i like quickly glanced over to his computer when he had his email open and accidentally saw an email that said he had a “new tinder match!” so i was like wtf…. hmm… so when he moved back to his hometown and i stayed in LA, shit just only got worse and this gut feeling only grew stronger. so i made a fake tinder account, used tinder passport to set the location to his hometown, and swiped until i found him. it literally only took 6 swipes. we matched the next day and i texted him thru my fake tinder account and he responded.

NOW if you’re wondering why i didn’t just leave him when shit got toxic, here’s my answer: i was lowkey so scared of him LOL like there were so many close encounters with this man where i lowkey felt like (???) i was not safe? idk. so yea i was scared to break up w/ him because i didn’t know how he’d take it if i just left him “out of the blue.” i presumed that since i caught him cheating on me and i had a VALID REASON to break up w/ him, he’d let me go with little resistance. unfortunately i was wrong because he stalked me for like a year after that LOL oh how naive freshman year dice was </3

ANYWAYS tl;dr i made a fake tinder account, used tinder passport to set my location to his hometown, and matched w/ his slimy unwashed ass! there were other little hints and clues that pointed to him cheating on me for a while but it’s so long ago that i lowkey forgot HAHA

[binunus]

college bf!jinjin

a/n yes yes yes 100x yes, here's the next installment of the college bf!astro series hehe, hope you enjoy it love 😙

{request: Would it be possible to get a college boyfriend Jinjin too?? I super loved the Bin one you did!!!! Thank you in advance 💜}

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ word count: 3k

_________________________________________

alright theydies

jinwoo–like everyone else in astro–makes me hella hard and soft at the same time so this is gonna be fun

major: music engineer technology

i saw that one ddoca where he was directing all the members for his song and just !!! grr bark bark

literally a fucking sweetie

one of the kindest people you will ever meet in your life

his face is so gentle, especially when he smiles

and then you hear his voice and you're like woah why is it so deep and raspy hey

and then he laughs or giggles and you're like ahh that looks more like you hehe

roommates with university famous dancer!rocky bc i love rap line

such a good roommate and hyung omg

will always make sure rocky eats dinner or takes a shower before going to bed even though he’s exhausted from dance practice or whatever

always shows off how talented rocky (and the rest of the boys) is

very chill

which is a bit of a surprise to everyone bc one of his best friends is literally myungjun

anyway, how do you two meet??

you're a vocal performance major

coincidentally, the same major as myungjun

oh god so you can bet he really played matchmaker for you two

you and myungjun were doing a duet together for one of your final projects during your second year

and you two were joking around like

damn, we should record this, we sound pretty fire

*cue myungjun immediately calling jinjin*

mj: ARE YOU AT THE STUDIO?? ARE YOU FREE RIGHT NOW??

jin: hyung why are you yelling it's literally 6 pm

anyway, it was spontaneous but you and myungjun end up going to one of the recording studios in the music building where jinwoo very often frequents at

you're like a bit shy, like wtf myungjun you didn't tell me that your friend was cute?? you would have worn something better than sweats and a tank

jin's so nice ugh, just imagine him smiling at you as he introduces himself

literally you melted

his fit? bucket hat, glasses, shorts and a tee

it was so casual, but why did he look so cute??

myungjun convinces jinwoo to let you guys record in the studio

it took him just 10 minutes to set up the equipment and everything

you were just looking at him like ooo looks so professional

sksksk im gross

myungjun goes first bc you were nervous

and yeah duh he was a natural, but you couldn't help but admire jinwoo in his prime

he looked so attractive in the producer chair just like instructing mj in the booth

he didn't even know what kind of song you guys were singing, but he directed him so smoothly so that the best parts of myungjun's voice came out

mj joking around: why's your mouth open, y/n? amazed at my voice?

you roll your eyes: sure if that's what you want to believe

your thoughts: ah haha i was totally not oogling your best friend myungjun, totally not

and then it was your turn to go in the booth

you don't know why, but you were hella nervous singing in front of them–or more so, in front of jinwoo

which is dumb bc you're literally a vocal performance major, you sing in front of strangers all the damn time

but you really wanted to impress him for some reason??

okay, you had no reason to be nervous because as soon as you opened your mouth?? jinnie?? literally awestruck

he's heard a lot of singers, obviously bc he's had to record so many of them

but you?? your voice?? a literal siren for him–but in a good way!

your singing entranced him

and then you looked out of the booth to see him just staring at you and your throat went dry

your voice cracked, you've never felt more embarrassed in your life

you: ah! oh my God I'm so sorry, that was horrendous

myungjun's laughing at you, what a nice duet partner

but jin just smiles bc you're whining and hiding your face in your hands

you were so cute??

jinwoo: it's okay y/n, you were doing really good. let's try that again, okay?

he was so sweet about it, ugh you were blushing

you end up recording again, and this time you made the smart decision to close your eyes and just try and focus on the lyrics

and shit, if jinjin wasn’t already a bit interested in you before, he definitely was now

because the way you looked completely immersed in the song and lyrics

his heart skipped like ten miles i dont know

myungjun just knew from the way jinwoo was staring at you

you didn’t get his number from the first meeting

bitch you were too shy, you just squeaked out a “thank you, hope myungjun and I weren’t too much of a bother”

jin: hyung’s always a bother, but you were totally fine

mj: hey!

anyway you leave with a bit of regret, like you should have at least gotten his snapchat or social media or something

or make a dumb excuse to try and see him again

ah but mj was already ten steps ahead of you and jinjin ;)

when you get back to your apartment, there’s a text from myungjun like

“come back to jinwoo’s studio tomorrow for the final mix of our duet”

you immediately jump at the opportunity: okay! what time?

damn could you be any more obvious??

this time you actually tried to look cute, like you were going to see jinwoo again, you couldn’t look like a rat

you get to the studio at the time myungjun told you and you’re like?? oh it’s just jinwoo here?? maybe myungjun’s running a bit late??

jinwoo: oh hey y/n! wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon

you: ???? myungjun told me to come here to listen to the final mix...

jinwoo being shy: he didn’t tell me about that haha

you’re embarrassed, about to turn on your heel and book it

maybe also thinking of murdering myungjun on the way back to your place

but then jinwoo grabs your wrist before you could leave

and you literally felt a spark at his touch, it made you jump a little bit

jin: you can stay if you want–I mean, you came all this way already, I’d be a bit of jerk if I just make you leave

you: I-uh-don’t wanna intrude

he just shakes his head with a smile: you’re not, don’t worry. besides, I’m actually working on your song right now, you can tell me what you think

and that’s how you end up hanging out with jinwoo alone in the studio

you were obviously very awkward and nervous at first

what do you say to him? should you ask him questions? what if you’re bothering him? god you don’t want to sound like an idiot

jinwoo noticed your nervousness––and yes he was nervous too, but he just hid it better than you

he hands you a pair of headphones: here, listen to what I have done so far

you’re like pleasantly surprised??? you and myungjun sound so professional?? like damn put this out on spotify or something

you’re smiling and jinwoo just feels like a huge sense of relief like phew okay you like it so far

and then you two just get to talking while he’s still mixing

you ask him how he got into music and his major and all that fun stuff

you find out that jin’s always loved music and the actual producing aspect of it, he hopes to be a music producer one day and he just flirts with you like

“hey maybe one day you can sing my songs on stage”

and you’re like ??? me??? 

jin: you have one of the best voices I’ve ever heard, it would be an honor for me

ugh jinwoo stop im blushing

you two end up ordering food and eating at the studio bc he promised himself that he wouldn’t leave until he finished your duet and you didn’t wanna leave him alone tf

you and jinwoo exchange numbers this time hehe

before you leave, he’s like “this was nice y/n, you should come over and keep me company more often :) if...you want of course”

you: i’d be happy to! just text me any time :)

internally you’re screaming like yes !! 

you can bet that you start spending a lot of your free time with jinwoo in the music studio

sometimes it’s just you two

sometimes myungjun and their other friends make appearances too

and that’s how you get introduced to their friend group

myungjun to either of you: you’re spending a lot of time with jin/yn lately ;)

about a month after meeting each other, jinwoo asks you out on a date

with the encouragement of astro

it was all expected let’s be honest

cliche first date at the movies, but like you both loved it

wouldn’t be surprised if astro was spying on you two, sitting like a couple rows behind and watching your every move

but shhh if they did, you and jinwoo didn’t notice

the transition from liking each other →  going on dates →  making it exclusive went so smoothly

you and jin were hooked on each other after the first couple meetings that it just seemed so right

myungjun will never stop saying that he’s the reason why you two are in a relationship

you and the other boys grow very fond with each other–particularly sanha

and that was important for jinwoo bc the guys are like his family and it’s basically a dream for him that his partner and friends are close too

sanha is his child do not @ me

so by osmosis, sanha becomes like your baby too

the two of you literally coddle sanha, it’s cute okay

they all go to you and jin for relationship advice sksksk

bc to them, you two just seem so made for each other :’) 

the !! sweetest !! most perfect !! boyfriend

will walk you to class in the morning even if his class is all the way across campus

and you’re like: jinwoo it’s okay, i can see you after this class, you might get late!

jin being pouty: i just wanna spend more time with you :(

im in love with jinjin

loves holding your hand, even when you two are in the studio and he’s mixing something for class or just for fun, he’s still holding your hand

whenever he makes a composition, you’re the first person he shows

really values what you think of his work

vice versa, when you have a song you need to sing, you always ask him to listen to you first

you don’t sugarcoat with each other when it comes to music

will ask you to sing literally all the time

jinwoo gives the best hugs :’)

it’s just so comforting, one of his hands strokes your hair, while the other one rubs your lower back

you know what kind of picture im creating?? yeah

ooooof baby you go with him when he gets his tattoos

you hold his hand through it the entire time even though he probably didn’t feel much pain from it

and like his big ass chest tattoo??? are you drooling??? 1000%

when jinwoo realizes that you get ??? turned on?? by his tattoos, you bet he begins to walk around shirtless in your apartment

is this my transition to down and dirty? yes it is

your first time with him was mmm rough and it’s all thanks to that chest tattoo

you and jinwoo have been steamy before, like makeout sessions and dry humping, and oral (both receiving), but the actual action of fucking? y’all haven’t done it before that night

ofc he’s being a little tease and walking around shirtless

he was always touching you though, not explicitly, but like say you were washing the dishes, he would walk past you and brush his hand passed your waist and he’d whisper in your ear like: sorry baby excuse me

and like he’s done this the whole day so just at one point you lose it and literally push him against the wall and start making out with him

ah he knew you were gonna crack

and god you were so turned on at this point that you were not having any of that soft shit, like you needed him to fuck you asap

jinwoo fucks you so hard your first time together that you couldn’t walk the next day

hehe

oh boy he likes to bite

yes he’s the sweetest, but in the bedroom?? lowkey a bit of a masochist

it’s okay bc you don’t mind a little bit of pain ;)

daddy!! kink!! i dont make the rules

will call you baby girl/boy

he’s the dom, like will very rarely let you dom him

very private with your sex life, you won’t catch him teasing you in public with other people around

and if you try, like say if you whisper daddy in his ear or something while you are hanging out with the guys, oof it’s gonna be a rough night for you

alright but studio sex

has he recorded your moans before?? or you two having sex in the booth?? yes

debatably, studio sex happens more than bedroom sex, but that’s only because most of jinwoo’s time is literally in the music building

jinwoo dirty talk !! with his sexy ass raspy voice !! 

ugh jin moaning in your ear what a good girl/good boy you are for him while he’s just fucking you

will slightly degrade you?? like yes you are his cocksleeve

but he also praises you a lot during sex too

ooh you better hope you don’t have a gag reflex bc he’s all into throat fucking

favorite position is actually missionary, believe it or not

he loves seeing you come undone for him

eye contact during sex?? yes

like he will make sure you’re looking at him when you cum, periodt

favorite place to cum is your face oops

also very much into cockwarming

most of the time, your sessions are rough just bc your vibes are like that

but when they’re soft and slow?? and like making love?? 

literally the most passionate man ever

jin makes it all about you and your pleasure when he’s being gentle

after care is full of kisses and cuddles and I love yous

always makes sure you drink water after having sex

stay hydrated kids

and jinwoo’s back to being the bestest boyfriend :’)

first i love you was when you two were in bed together

you both just woke up and were cuddling

jin was watching the video you sent him of you practicing this one song for an upcoming performance

and you were still drowsy, so you were literally drifting in and out of sleep while he was listening to your video

and jinwoo was just awestruck, he’s always been in love with your voice from the get go, but the way you executed this song? even though it was just practice? his chest was constricting

you’re like mumbling when the video stops: i still need to work more on the bridge, my tone gets a bit flat during it, right?

and he just smiles softly at you even though your eyes are closed and you can’t see him

he thought it was perfect already, you were perfect already

and he just calls your name: y/n

you: hmm??

jin: I love you

and suddenly you’re awake and meeting his eyes

they were so genuine and serious and full of love, you don’t even hesitate to say it back

honestly not the jealous type, he’s so patient and trusting and knows that you’re crazy about only him

will constantly reassure you about any of your insecurities: body, voice, school, your relationship, anything

jinwoo just has such a calming aura around him that you can’t help but feel like, as long as he’s by your side everything will be okay

the two of you have many deep talks together, especially at night before going to sleep, it’s what makes your relationship so solid

jinwoo just knew that he wanted to marry you, even early on into your relationship

there was no one that supported him more in his dreams, no one that he’s ever truly felt connected with, no one that he’s shared all his deepest fears with than you

and like after a year of dating like he couldn’t picture a future without you in it

he’s a romantic :’)

shortly before graduating, he makes a song about you and he’s actually singing in it

ugh main vocal jinjin rise

and he shows it to you in the music studio where you first met

and it’s about how much he loves you and admires you and treasures you

basically a proposal but not really

and you’re so touched, like literally moved to tears because it was so beautiful

and lowkey he was cringing at hearing his singing voice but you still loved it nonetheless

and afterwards, jinwoo was like: I wanna spend the rest of my life with you y/n, I’m not asking you to marry me right now, obviously I’ll propose to you in a better way in the future, but I’m serious about you and I can’t imagine being with anyone else.

you jump into his lap and kiss him and just keep saying I love you in between kisses

and jinwoo’s all smiley and giggly like: do you feel the same??

and you hit his arm all jokingly, yes of course you do

you just sit on his lap and he’s hugging you while the two of you are listening to more of his projects and jinwoo’s just thinking like wow I love this person so much

maybe the two of you do owe it to myungjun for playing matchmaker

i guess mj can be the best man at your wedding

y’all this was so soft??

but yes jinnie’s the best bf/husband material out there

im in love with him

_________________________________________________

2-8-21

[sanjizuku]

my experience as an extra on cherry

hi!!!! i wanted to make a post about my experience on tuesday the 19th. so i got the email at 7pm on monday but didnt read it till 11pm so my ass was freaking out and my call time was 6:30am so i had to figure out who would drive me and what outfits i should pack and called off "sick" for work lmao so the night before was a mess and i got 0 sleep not even 10 min LMAO. so i get to the place at 6:15am and we did all the paperwork and stuff that took a little while. and then went to the wardrobe team so they can confirm your outfit was good (in the email it had certain colors and looks they wanted) my outfit was perfect. i wore green cargo pants, black turtleneck, leather jacket and black combat boots. then, we ate breakfast and around 7:30am we went to shoot the first scene. basically we were on the campus and it was a scene where tom was hallucinating so we all had to walk in a very fast pace (i was literally dying bc i have asthma) bc they will be putting a slo mo effect on us bc well hes hallucinating. we did this take like 20 times and it was exhausting lol. but then after that, we went inside a little to warm up (all the scenes we shot that day were all outside in the freezing cold) . next scene was a scene where tom and ciara were on campus and they run into eachother and talk basically lol. we were all in like 2 lines and the crew memeber instructed us to either go straight, in front of the camera and tom & ciara or around them on the other side and i did every angle. i cant believe how close i was to him. his american accent. omg. but we did this scene SO. MANY. TIMES. we started at 9am and stopped at 2:30pm to take our lunch and holy fuck i couldnt feel my feet. we got handwarmers tho during the time so that helped a bit. we took our lunch and then went back out to the same area and then they did a different scene, still talking to eachother but different lines. we did this scene so many times too bc they shot it from different angles(like the camera facing tom and then facing ciara). were still walking around them and in front of them and the same stufff. when we werent filming and we were all just chilling waiting to start, tom was laughing and smiling so much and was talking to the crew and russo bros alot he had so much energy meanwhile i was freezing my ass off and could barely move but its ok LMAOOO. but it was cool to watch tom acting irl and then just chillin on the set lol and also harry was there and both of them were always goofing around. btw ciara had the cutest outfit on i was obsessed with her shes so cute. they were always touching up tom and ciaras makeup prob bc of the cold and fixing toms wig. at some points, the lady was fixing the back of it and pulled hard for some reason and toms head just goes flying back and his face was like "wtf" lmao. the crew are also so laidback and cool. at one point they literally just had takeout food boxes on top of the camera 😂💀. whenever we had to reset to our spots i always had to squeeze between all the crew and tom and ciara and the russo bros to literally get back to my spot so all u hear from me is "excuse me sorry sorry" lmao. at one point when we werent filming yet one of the cameras was pointed at my direction and i did a peace sign at it 😫 i hate myself. the last scene we did that day, tom and ciara were sitting on a picnic table and they were doing a wide shot, so all of us were scattered around the campus doing different stuff like i was with 5 other girls and out part was like admiring this art piece that was there and talking. that didnt take long we were done in like a half hour. ummm and basically that was it. im so incredibly grateful for this entire experience. i will cherish the memories of it forever. and im so proud of tom for putting all his effort into this film hes going to do such an amazing job and i cant wait to see it.

[bo0zey]

Pick your favorite questions from the list.

i will do them all for u 0.o

1. Name cianna [see-ah-nah]

2. Nationality mexican irish german romanian hungarian french

3. Age 20

4. Birthday december 17, 1999

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) sun: sagittarius; ascendant: leo; moon: aries

6. Gender female

7. Sexuality uhhhhhhhhhhhh idk but i will willingly kiss either gender

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) /tagged/my-face or u could just google pictures of fat rats

9. What do you/did you study? I’m currently a sophomore nursing major!

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I’m currently a microbiology TA and I love it :) My dream job would be something with animals, like a vet tech or veterinarian

11. Your birth order i’m the oldest!

12. How many siblings do you have? 2 younger brothers

13. Do you have good relations with your family? my mom was my best friend, my dad and i get along better now that i’m in college, my brothers and i get along pretty well & we’re staring to get closer now that they’re getting older n growing up n developing their own personalities lol

14. How many friends do you have? errrr idk this is a hard question. i have a lot of acquaintances but i’d say i have maybe like less than 10 real friends??

15. Your relationship status single :D

16. What do you look for in a SO? funny!!!!!!!!!must be humorous!!!!and sarcastic and a little weird w darker sense of humor so we can laugh n be dumb together!!!!!!! also i would like them to be kind to me and those around them bc mean ppl suck. also they have to like animals. also i would like them to be loyal and trustworthy and 110% in love w me. and for physical stuff idk kinda attractive but NOT CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE like i personally don't really like the typically ‘attractive’ person??? 

17. Do you have a crush? currently in love w the cute chinese boy who lives across from my dorm room even tho i have never even spoken to him n he is totally unaware of my existence!!!!!!!! hahah oops :D

18. When did you have your first kiss? i mean technically 3rd grade i think but that doesn't really count so like maybe 16????

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? i mean in the long term i would definitely like to have a serious relationship but at the moment i’m only into casual stuff bc my heart isn't ready to be broken again sknfkjdbnkjd

20. What are your deal breakers? errrr i’m not sure....cheating is a no no, ppl that are interested in fucking every single person they see is a turn off, DUMB PEOPLE like ppl you can't even have a proper conversation with bc they're so DUMB, and ppl who r mean/judgmental/arrogant

21. How was your day? ok! accidentally slept thru my math class but caught a glimpse of my crush across campus when he was abt to smoke a cig and i got chipotle n i online shopped a ton from shein

22. Favourite food & drink deep dish spinach pizza from giordano’s & orange vitamin water

23. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my left side hugging a body pillow

24. What was your last dream about? ate a braid of hair and inside the braid was bacon

25. Your fears not going to make it thru nursing school, not being financially stable as an adult, not having a family of my own, probably more but those r currently top 3

26. Your dreams i don't have any idk....maybe having like a house of my own and having as many animals as i want?? and i would like a loving partner with a daughter of our own

27. Your goals survive nursing school and lose 40 pounds and don't die before my cat

28. Any pets? i have a dog named cherry Cola, a cat named Leto, and a betta fish named Perc

29. What are your hobbies? writing stories about people in love, listening to music

30. Any cool places in your area? in my college town??? NO it sucks. in my hometown??? Not really it’s a small lil village with only restaurants and parks. but at home i’m near downtown chicago so that’s cool i guess

31. What was your last awkward situation? the first thing that comes to mind is my FIRST and so far ONLY encounter with my crush. we live in the same dorm building and i was wearing my nursing scrubs and had no make up on and about to go upstairs to my dorm, and then i heard footsteps and i was like ‘hahaha what if its my crush’ AND THEN HE FUCKIGJNG appeared from down the hallway to go back to HIS DORM [which is RIGHT ACROSS FROM MINE] and i literally STARED at him, then threw open the door and RAN UP THE STAIRS LIKE I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME AND HE WAS LIKE SO CLOSE BEHIND ME I WAS JUST SO NERVOUS MY FLIGHT OR FIGHT RESPONSE TOOK OVER AND I FUCKING FLED I LITERALLY RAN AWAY FROM HIM I AHTE MYSELF SO MUCH IM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!

32. What is your last regret? errrrr idk i regret a lot of dumb things.......

33. Language/s you can speak English n a LITTLE bit of Spanish

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) i’m really into zodiac stuff and i have got to say they are pretty spot on in accuracy idk

35. Have any quirks? ummmm ofc!!i am the quirkiest person i know hajnjfxbkjx like if u asked my roommates/friends they’d probably be better at answering this than me bc i don't see anything abt me as quirky but they always tell me i am quirky and do weird things but idk man I'm just existing 

36. Your pet peeves err idk currently its ppl that constantly brag about dumb shit

37. Ideal vacation somewhere warm with me + the ocean + the loml + unlimited alcohol

38. Any scars? yeah :D both emotional AND physical!!!!

39. What does your last text message say? ��ok thats a more than fair statement’

40. Last 5 things from your search history how many carbs should i eat, chipotle bowl calories, is the grim reaper the angel of death, ceftriaxone adverse effects, red man syndrome

41. What's your [device] background? lockscreen is a peach-theme background i made and home screen is my weight loss goals

42. What do you daydream about? the characters in my stories.................and being skinny 

43. Describe your dream home pretty brick house??? flowers outside??? 3 floors--main floor, basement and upstairs??? 3 bedrooms n 3 bathrooms maybe??? master bedroom has its own bathroom!!! and open concept main floor. big kitchen and very homey n warm all around. as for like an apartment i want something cozy and aesthetically pleasing and warm 

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion i don't have a religion but if ppl do have a religion then thats not my business

45. Your personality type entj but only bc i got 3% extraverted; i am very closely related to intj tho n i think i fit that one better

46. The most dangerous thing you've done uhhhhhh probably operating a vehicle while high out of my mind. definitely the dumbest thing i ever did 0/10 would recommend anyone ever doing that

47. Are you happy with your current life? its ok but it could probably be better. i want to be done w college and skip to the part where i have a successful career and my own home and i can lay up w the loml every night

48. Some things you've tried in your life alcohol???weed??gummy edibles....

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? sweaters/sweatshirts/leggings

50. Favourite colour to wear? black, maroon, peach, purple, gray, idk

51. How would you describe your style? oh jeez idk i wear whatever i want so like e-girl when i really try and basic white girl when i don't care

52. Are you happy with your current looks? no i hate everything about myself lol

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? more freckles on my face....also be thinner n have longer hair

54. Any tattoos or piercings? my nose and septum are pierced!

55. Do you get complimented often? kinda by my friends but i always yell at them to stop so they don't compliment like as much bc they know i hate it but they still do it sometimes idk

56. Favourite aesthetic? i wanna be an e-girl yo!!!!!!!!! 

57. A popular trend that you dislike nobody has a crush on me and i hate it

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with? pied piper by BTS

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like. anything by BTS lol i used to like be embarrassed for how much i like k pop but now i don't really care lol #stanBTS2020

60. Favourite genre? rap/r n b/alternative

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? i listen to every genre except country sooooooo yeah i really like billie eilish, BTS, the weeknd, juicewrld, lil nas x, trippie red, post malone,

62. Hated popular songs/artists? i don't rlly like selena gomez or justin bieber or taylor swift

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 only - RY X i.f.l.y. - Bazzi novacane - frank ocean jungle - drake bang! - trippie redd

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? no and no

65. Do you like karaoke? no but i like to sing along to songs when I'm alone

66. Own any albums? haha noooo i got apple music son

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? errr RARELY i used to listen to r n b stations tho

68. Favourite movie/series? idk donnie darko?? i also just finished tharntype n that was really good. also i liked tokyo ghoul. AND GIVEN IS REALLY GOOD

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc i like horror/scary/paranormal/funny movies and i like love stories in books

70. Your fictional crush/es danny phantom, ken kaneki

71. Which fictional character is you? uhhhh idk...

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so frerard, ryden, taekook, mewgulf

73. Favourite greek god? idk they all kinda suck but maybe hades

74. A legend from where you live that you like i don't really know any:(

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist? i like to look at art! i think van gogh is cool

76. Can you share your other social media? ig: ciannnna venmo: ciannnna

77. Favourite youtubers? i don't really watch youtubers but maybe shane dawson and emma chamberlain

78. Favourite platform? twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much time

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite? i once played GTA5 that was fun!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) idk i don't really read anymore:/ i was into the hunger games and the twilight series when i was young. now i kinda read online manga and i really liked BJ Alex and killing stalking. and like for online books the unholyverse series, a splitting of the mind, the anatomy of a fall

82. Do you play board/card games? no but i like to play checkers and uno and cards against humanity

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? nopee

84. Favourite holiday halloween is cool also christmas is alright bc gifts

85. Are you into dramas? i’ve been getting into thai boys love dramas lol sue me

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? um YES.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? everyone needs to be a little kinder and have a crush on me

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? absolutely not I'm not physically fit and don't have useful skills

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? vampire duh [or maybe ghost]

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? i want to see my mom

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? idk something cool ... i love the name Daisy

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? idk probably kylie jenner

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo idk the alien? 94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true -im very productive with my time management skills -my favorite color is purple -i don't get nervous when I'm alone in public

95. Cold or hot? cold

96. Be a hero or be a villain? anti-hero

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? sing if i’m good at it but if I'm not good then rhyme

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?immortal

100. ..... or .....? ......?

[thisnerdsadventures]

i graduated.

i graduated yesterday from MIT!! with a BS in computer science and engineering :)  a few of my friends and i celebrated over zoom with my mom in the background as they played video after video on the commencement live stream while only taking 10 minutes to scroll through our names lmao. the ceremony was done and done after 12pm PST, and i spent the rest of the days watching suits.

cw: protests, police brutality

I wanted to spend a good amount of this post talking about how it feels to graduate and what I’ve learned over the past 4 years. I’m still going to do that, but I want to start with how I felt this morning, as I watched protest videos on Twitter and tapped through an endless stream of call to action posts on Instagram. In the hours around commencement, I didn’t feel as happy as I should’ve, probably because the world we are graduating into is an actual Hot mess. We should’ve graduated onto Killian Court, with the sun out and hope and optimism with the world smiling upon us, but instead we graduated at home, separated by a global pandemic that our country refuses to take seriously and surrounded by protests and anger and racism, sent out into a world where people refuse to take a virus that has killed over 100,000 people in the US seriously and where a white police officer can literally kill an unarmed black man on the streets in broad daylight and nothing will happen without an actual public uproar. 

Frustrated, helpless, sad, angry are a few of the things I’m feeling. I feel frustrated because I know the community I grew up in and currently am in is a part of the problem. (For those of you who don’t know, I grew up in Orange County, California, which is surprisingly conservative for California, and has a lot of middle to upper class Asian and white people who are the types to denounce things like affirmative action, black lives matter, taxing the wealthy. Obviously not everyone here is like this, but actions like this make me remember why i wanted to leave :/ -- https://www.reddit.com/r/orangecounty/comments/gt7ift/oc_sheriff_department_raises_blue_lives_matters/) And I feel helpless because I don’t know how to help - if we were back on campus, we’d take the T out to Park St or even just walk there to Boston Common protesting, marching to City Hall, but we’re dispersed now, and not as many of us can drive out to the nearest big city protest, esp with COVID. So it begs the question of what we can do from our laptops, our homes?

Here’s some links that I’ve seen recently and have found really great:

Where you can donate, and where you can learn, a summary.

The Minnesota Freedom Fund is an organization that helps pay for immigration bonds and bails, but I think they’ve recently posted that they’ve gotten a lot of donations, and are now encouraging people to donate to other local organizations [x] and George Floyd’s family [x]. 

As an Asian-American, I recognize the privileges in society that we benefit from, and it’s our responsibility to stand up in solidarity now and actively fight anti-Blackness today. Here is an awesome Medium post I read yesterday, listing out some of the ways we can help -- https://medium.com/awaken-blog/20-allyship-actions-for-asians-to-show-up-for-the-black-community-right-now-464e5689cf3e

One thing that I’ve been thinking about lately is how much anti-blackness actually appears in our own families and communities - I know I’ve heard many many racist comments from the people around me, so now more than ever, it’s important to have these conversations and educate one another on how we can do better. Another thing I found really interesting was reading about where the model minority myth came from, why it exists, and the damage it does. NPR article. tl;dr educate one another, educate oneself

I also just stumbled upon this google doc that is so in depth, so if you want to read more about more actions you can take, look here -> [x]

welp. that’s all i can really say on that, or at least I think the links do a better job.

1) So going off of that, the first thing i guess i can say MIT did for me was instill a drive to action. I remember before college, I was mostly in this socal bubble, shit in the world definitely happened (ok maybe not global pandemic level) but we didn’t see its effects as much. When I moved to Boston and started meeting people from different backgrounds, that changed. These people here are so inspiring in the way that they don’t sit around or mope or ignore the problem, they choose to do something about it, whether its a pset, the next MIT admin shitshow, or COVID. They go up and beyond what’s expected for them to make the world the better place, and I think that’s something i learned to do a bit of.

2) Another thing I learned was to forgive myself - we all have to forgive ourselves for being less perfect and for whatever dumb stuff we’ve done in the past. Like you might not even realize it’s happening to you, but taking stuff out on yourself way harder than you should might be a product of you just being angry at yourself for mistakes in the past. Everyone wants to be perfect, that’s just a product of who we are as people, a product of the environment we’re in. But the sooner we forgive ourselves for not being perfect, the faster we can move to growing and being better.

3) We are all pretty valuable people. It angers me to no end when people settle for less than they should, whether it's out of fear that something else might not come along, or they just don’t know their own self-worth. A big example of that is how often people will accept lowball offers and fail to negotiate salaries at all. And it drives me up the wall that it happens to people I know and love because it makes me wonder if they can see how much they really are worth. So much of our time at MIT is spent just wondering if we’re enough. But once you leave the MIT bubble, you realize how open you options are, and that maybe we should spend more of our time advocating for ourselves and believing in our own worth than letting people define that for us.

4 and 5) i learned that moving too quick to label people as completely good or completely bad never ends well. Same goes for companies, organizations, issues, everything. This was a hard lesson to learn, I had to learn it, relearn it, unlearn it, learn it again, and I made mistakes after mistakes after mistakes. When confronted with a bit of bad, I closed my doors, thinking I had all the good in the world I needed. But what I really needed was perspective. That maybe there was some x, y, and z, and those were bad, but there was also a, b, c, d, f, g and those were all so, so good. I can get pretty angry in the moment - I did this again just the other day, when I was projecting my anger towards someone to the whole two year relationship. But this time, I had another friend watching my situation on a balcony three floors up who heard and listened to all the good they had done for me and reminded me about it. This is why its points 4 and 5, that its also so important to have friends around that will listen to you, not just during the bad, but also the good, so they can tell you when you’re being irrational and to really be there for you when you dont even know you need someone to be there.

6) one of the things i learned the hard way was how to know when someone is your friend, and how to know when friends truly have your back. something that my experiences have shown me (and 11.011, ngl) is that when it seems like someone has your back, they might not, and when they have to choose sides, they may very well not choose yours. But here’s the thing I have learned: when faced with that, good close friends do not leave. They show up. Do friends fight? hell yeah. and they apologize and grow from it. They confide in you and answer your call at 1am. They know you better than you know yourself, so when you start losing sight of your true self, they remind you. There is no condition to your friendship, no prereq. When a crisis happens like COVID, they show up, they help you pack, they calm you down when you’re panicking, and if they’re not there in person, they reach out, they ask how you’re doing, and they offer support. When you graduate, they send you surprise gifts or join your zoom party or at the very least, remember the date and text you congratulations. Turns out, good, real friends are hard to find in this world, but it’s important to remember to not give up on finding them. it might take a couple years longer than you had thought it would for finding friends in college, but that’s ok. someone once told me that although the journey was hard, it led me to this point, and that that’s what made it worth the struggle.

So yeah, graduating was a lot to deal with. I’ll be back in the fall for my masters and im starting my internship in 2 weeks, so there will still definitely be updates on this nerd’s adventure!

[postcards-to-home]

Split Seconds: 2019

Amongst the dozen or so strangers around me I sit nuzzled between rows 6 &8. Philly lies some 10,000 feet below. The engine purrs softly with each flutter my eyes drift effortlessly towards stillness under the perpetuating night sky.

In dreams I see the faces of those I’ve met haphazardly in my travels. The students I bond with over memories of cheap wine and late-night thrills at Manly corso; the elderly who sit and chat with me about their grandchildren and medical procedures; even the uber drivers who share their love affairs found from words with friends. It’s the everything in-between crisscrossing the unconscious mind.

My new life I remind myself is in constant motion and so must I be. Zig-zaging terminals I curse under my breathe, praying to the lord for an on time departure. With my best friend in tow, my dingy gray suitcase, my day is a constant uphill battle of avoiding my ankles and slow-poke people.  A love affair in the constant throws of “F*ck my life,” & “ I have the greatest job of all time,” (said no one ever).

Mentally I was trained for this. Laughably this entire year I have captured a total of 3 weeks combined training from the two firms I have been employed by- and I can say I think I’m doing A-ok. My 1st job out of college I learned its okay to decide if something is or isn’t right for you. Its 100% okay to move on too- and fast, if a better opportunity arises. It also taught me the value of obtaining strong leader figures in the office. Not necessarily how to be a manager but how to observe what works, how to engage with others effectively and ultimately how not too.

Mistakes are inevitable.

On my very 1st business trip to Hunt Valley, Maryland for whatever reason a conversation was provoked among an older gentleman and I and we chatted the entire way. Come to find out this sharp older gentleman was once the CEO of a hospital in the capital district; a professor at USC and was heading south to see family. The value from this conversation will always be intangible. It was  the 1st time in my professional life I was able to speak not only about who I am as a person, But I  had someone engage in a conversation with me for no other reason than pure interest, and in a non- creepy way. We spoke of antiques, my on again/off again ebay career and content of college curriculum. He explained he managed a young Entrepreneurs group on campus and worked with students to gain shareholders in their startups.

Before we departed ways he said , “Thank you for the lovely chat, I feel deeply that you will be successful one day with whatever you choose to do. You should feel really proud of yourself with hat you’ve accomplished.” (Paraphrased)

It was his words that propelled me into an orbit of motion, setting what would be the tone for the year. In that moment I etched realization into my mind that my abilities generate power I never was aware I held. There was my small voice-heard and admired. Channeling it to engage the right audience became possible after that.

I left my 1st job after just 6 months. Without any regrets.  I sincerely miss mid-day banter with some of my co-workers, but thankfully we still stay in touch.

The road leading to my departure was a rocky one. Still living at home, thankful for my parents gratitude and safe haven I couldn’t help but feel left out of the mix from my peers. While they rounded of  their senior years I was strapped to a desk sifting through excel spreadsheets. In no way did I ever want to back track into the college scene, making money is and always will be exciting. But doing what I was doing, well not so much.

I accepted a position as a Regional Manager for the institution I studied abroad at as many of you have recognized. I am sincerely thankful for the support received throughout this half of my journey this year. I travel, I meet with students both future and former, I do paper work sporadically and I idle at my desk when necessary. It has forced me to both think outside of the box as well as use my voice as the ultimate creative outlet and driving force for success. My soundboard-everchanging day to day.

Through my position I’ve managed to make student’s dreams come true a reward I’ll never take lightly. Its become my daily excitement to hear from students their own excitement about their journey ahead, even having the smallest footprint on their pathway to success has become gratifying in its own respects. Then there are my travels, though sporadic they have led me to meet old friends from my own time studying abroad and new friends alike.

The entire essence of meeting people has opened doorways never thought possible. The most delightful part of 2019 has been meeting others and hearing their own words of insight and stories they too long to share. Spending more time than intended on park benches with near strangers discussing their time in an indigenous tribe in brazil is just scratching the surface of my amusement. It’s a small victory for the once shyest little girl ever.

As I write this it has been 1 full year to the day since I have graduated. In that small span of time I celebrated the New Year in Iceland with two of the most important people in my life, Nick & Jay. We managed to survive Iceland in January, watch the fireworks at Hallgrímskirkja church on New Year’s Eve and not throttle each other after every petty argument, including the 20 minute screaming match that included phrases with “fiber one brownies” and “stupid , useless bitches.”

And then there was Australia. After visiting for the first time in a year in a half my heart felt fully mended. The winters chill couldn’t hold me from breakfast by the beach or wearing my heels to dinner with friends. Being reunited with people who changed my sense of self left that full circle feeling. Yes, quite literally I could have floated into the sun. That is until I had to venture home yet again and my whole world felt displaced yet again. I will live here one day I said outloud, despite what my dad whispers to my mom, “that will never happen.”

Even jay, My bestfriend came to Oz and fell in love with my world.Our trip in November couldn’t have been anymore magical. We soaked in the sun on the beaches of Noosa heads, swam in exotic Tea Tree Lake feeling rejuvenated and watched the sunrise at the Sydney Opera House. Skipping through the Royal Botanical gardens smelling flowers I knew life was grand. Nicole Reine was the Queen on the moment, just like my name says. To have jay wander through the castle I lived and Worked in let nothing but utter giddiness in me. Christmas came early and we couldn’t have enjoyed ourselves more. I will live here one day, felt firmer.

Some of my favorite moments were those sitting in the shed with loved ones after their returns from long journeys: Nick, Tommy, Grace and Emily. We all sat and shared stories from far away places as our minds melted to mush, the sun setting lower in the sky and the colors over Willard mountain fizzled from golden hues to cooling colors of the night sky. The small talks lingered near the kitchen table not on or next to but just around, the dogs lied close by, fading to sleep on the hard wood floors mom never could keep quite clean. It’s the comings and going that are hard to keep up with. But those moments always end as quickly as they come.

It’s a strange thing to realize the moment you leave your childhood home it will never be exactly how you left it. The stars you won at an arcade in Myrtle beach and hung on your ceiling will eventually come down. The color of your walls once chosen with excitement, will be painted over with fresh shades of cream your mother likes. And the emptiness of what once was but never will be, will swallow you whole. I realized this sad feeling creep up as I lay on my empty bedroom floor with my mom and dad huddled tightly around a pile of buttons. Not justa a pile but a ginormous, 40 pound pile of buttons once held safely in their jug, now shattered sharply amongst us. That’s what happens when you leave. Everything shifts, and somethings just can’t handle that. But I sure am sad about that jug of buttons, it was a lifetime labor of love collecting them.

There’s no jug of Buttons in our house on Center Street and im beginning to feel okay with that. Gramma’s blue oriental rug keeps our living room feeling nice and cozy. A small reminder she would have adored the space Jay and I call home.I can almost picture her now tinkering with my knick-knacks on the shelves, just ever so slightly so we wouldn’t notice. Marissa comes and goes as she pleases and the porch never does stay dirt free. I now see why mom’s kitchen floors never could stay clean. Its not Herrington Road but I’ll take it

[evangclines-blog1]

what  if  we  ......  pretended  this  was  a  good  intro  .....  aha  just  kidding  .....  unless  ?  i  was  just  gonna  link  to  all  my  stuff  but  ...  ur  girl  wrote  a  lot  and  i  don’t  wanna  be  cruel  and  force  u  all  to  read  everything  JDBWBDJBWJ  so  here we  go  !!   <3

( VENUS, PARK SOOYOUNG, CIS FEMALE, SHE /HER ) guess what, EVANGELINE RHEE has just landed in cannes with their private jet. they are a TWENTY-TWO year old socialite, who spends much of their time & money UPDATING THEIR SKINCARE ROUTINE. i think their family is in the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY and their net worth is around 10B USD.   

first things first ... i’m gonna drop some links in case u want to read everything i wrote at 6 am the day the submit closed bc im stoopid like that <3 

here u can find her full bio, stats, extended stats, and hcs ! the hcs are definitely the most fun to read so i recommend going to that page hehe

into the summary we go !

BACKSTORY:  suicide mention tw

eva’s dad is a movie producer and her mom was the beautiful woman he met at a train station <3 her parents had a very whirlwind romance, very love at first sight, very passionate and intense type of relationship literally everything you see in hollywood ? they had that ! they got married after only a year of knowing each other and had eva soon after 

thats when things got not-so-picturesque /: after having eva, her mom entered a pretty dark depression. eva’s dad ( who had been aware of his wife’s mental health and even warned by her family against doing anything crazy like getting married and having a whole baby so fast ) was kinda in denial about everything. eva’s mom still had her good days, but the bad days were really bad & when eva was only two years old her mom had an accident & passed away 

so while eva’s dad was grieving, he sent little eva to new york city to go live with her grandma !! eva adored her grandmother more than anyone else. she was a retired jazz singer, and a lot of what they did together was sit around and listen to old records <3 eva lived with her until she was five years old & that’s pretty much the only childhood she can remember since her mom died when she was so young !! 

when her dad brings eva back to france, he’s doing a lot better. he’s back to producing movies and throwing parties and being a part of society again ( things he had stopped while he was grieving for his wife ) and he even found his own form of “medicine” which was simply the company of beautiful women ! most of them were young actresses he met through his work, all of them were gorgeous, and they all adored little eva <3 

eva adored them right back ! they taught her stuff she imagined all mother’s teach their daughters: how to dress well, how to smell nice, how to get people’s attention, what makeup to wear, how to do your hair, how to speak so everyone hangs on to your every word, etc. she was still a little girl but she was absorbing all these lessons like a sponge, & it’s a big part of why she’s so obsessed with her own femininity and why she’s got this mindset about being beautiful inside & out in order to feel balanced. 

none of the women her dad brought home were ever at her house for more than a week. her father, who had been a notorious bachelor before eva’s mother, seemed incapable of falling in love again. that was his first and maybe only lesson to eva, which was how to break hearts, which is something else she absorbed & carried with her as she grew up

as eva grew up, she kinda became obsessed with trying to imagine what her mom had been like. no one in her family liked to talk about her, especially not her dad, but she knew she looked just like her and she was kinda always trying to fill in the blanks. but then one christmas her dad let it slip that her mom’s death hadn’t been an accident at all, that it had been on purpose. that was kind of the turning point for eva & she just kind of....stopped trying to re imagine her mom after that just kinda wanting to let her rest /:

she also went through a phase of doing stuff just because she could. she’d flirt with people’s boyfriends, she’d make strangers fall in love with her, she’d date people just to break up with them suddenly, etc. she kind of realized just how much she could get away with, but more than that, just how far people would go when they fell in love. she was obsessed with that, but also kind of jealous of those people just because she’d never felt that kind of soul shattering love for someone before and she really does want to </3 while she’s never been in love before, and while she does get bored of lovers easily, she still feels a type of attachment that is sometimes so strong she’s not willing to let the other person go even if she’s being selfish by hanging onto people she can’t get serious abt /: thats just life sometimes......whore rights !

FUN FACTS , PERSONALITY, AND TIDBITS: whore antics tw

 goes by eva, never evangeline. her grandma has always called her angel, and so that nickname has also carried over naturally

libra sun AND moon babey ! read abt it here

wears euphoria makeup to do groceries

 moved from paris to new york city for college to attend columbia university. double majored in english literature and business management. 

created what she called the “manhattan group” in reference to the bloomsbury group, which was a group of associated english writers, intellectuals, philosophers and artists in the first half of the 20th century ( that included writers like virginia woolf ) duringher freshman year. although meetings were supposed to be about discussing literature, it mostly became a place to drink warming champagne, flirt, and gossip. eva hosted the events & meetings off campus inside her loft. the manhattan group only lasted her freshman year though, as rumors of all the underage drinking and “cult-like behavior” persuaded her to drop it. that, and the fact that more than one member had fallen in love with her and things were getting quite tense. 

she never carries a lighter because she likes the way more than one person will offer her one if she asks for a light <3 

it’s a famous rumor that eva once spilled her drink on her chanel mini-dress at a charity gala and stripped down to her lingerie in front of everyone. it would have stayed a rumor if it wasn’t for the instagram story that went up of her only her underwear. 

she has a house phone in her nyc loft that only a select few people ( minus the strangers she’s given the number to while drunk ) know the number 

has a three year old black cat named june that she brought with ehr to cannes <3 

is the proud owner of a black maserati despite being an infamous bad driver. no one in their right mind, especially not her friends, would ever trust eva to drive.

it’s rumored she once snuck onto the yacht of a ceo to a fortune 500 company, only for him to find her in nothing but a bath towel eating chocolates while flipping through his playboy magazines, and that he was so taken with her instead of pressing charges he decided to name the boat after eva.

once spent a whole day walking around paris in a cheap pink wig and calling herself yvette. nobody could figure out why. eva often pulls stunts like this on a whim.

believes 2 is an unlucky number and is very superstitious about it, as that is the year her mother died. fully believes her twenties are cursed and is actually looking forward to the day she turns 30 just to escape the 2′s.

leonardo dicaprio once made a pass at her during the after party of a movie premiere she was attending.

during full moons, eva always has sex with the windows open. even if it’s winter, a window will be cracked open. this is one of her many personal superstitions. 

has a collection of old love letters, mixtapes, and presents past suitors and secret admirers have gifted her. while she cannot remember the origin of quite a few of the objects in her collection, she is attached to them still.

owns a replica of the famous cross necklace filled with cocaine that kathryn had in cruel intentions.

literally i basically just copied most of my hcs page im a clown i cant do summaries...

ok so personality wise ? shes a flirt. a whore, if u will. yes thats a personality trait now. literally if ur breathing shes flirting doesnt matter who u are doesnt matter if ur married if u have 10 kids doesnt matter like she will flirt....does not know how to open her mouth without flirting 

big on aesthetics /: believes everyone should get manicures like if ur cuticles are showing shes gonna gag . get help <3

not good at being held accountable for her actions. she’s not really the type to be malicious on purpose, but since she really does play with ppls feelings a lot it’s inevitable she’s gonna hurt someone but if u bring it up shes just gonna be like .. me ? at fault ? u must have the wrong girl i’m angel ...

likes 2 play games JSBDWBDJW clearly....matters of the heart are her fave kind but she also likes doing kinda ridiculous stuff for fun just to see how ppl are gonna react, also likes to do stuff just bc she knows she can usually get away with it 

loves skin care like she will be ur dermatologist ( self appointed ) she will gift u a moisturizer she will get everyone to do facemasks with her u cannot escape it ...

has trouble being alone but won’t admit it / doesn’t even really realize it ??? like it is... very rare u will ever find her sleeping alone or spending a whole day in just her own company 

not shy.....at all like JBSJDWBJDW she could use some shame but she has zero unfortunately 

despite being a whore....she is a HUGE romantic like whew she is obsessed with old love songs & is always playing them on her record player she loves to slow dance <3 she often gives ppl her fave poems ( usually poems abt sex ), she loves getting roses, loves kissing ppl on the cheek when she’s wearing lipstick, & she likes to leave ppl voicemails like ... shes really living like she is the main chara of a romance movie and everyone else is extra #5 most of the time... 

idk what else to say im sure shes gonna evolve once we start rping bc that always happens to me but....for now.....this is the end ! *cue feel special by twice*

[stuclyblrs]

as usual here’s my first thoughts of the semester

being in shanghai in general

i havent rly seen much of the city yet so idk cant comment

but life here is def different from nyc this isnt necessarily a super walk able city (but subway lines are pretty extensive)

in terms of academic life same thing very different like my dorm is 20min by bus to campus (not sure how long the subway takes tho) and its not really walk able compared to nyc where i walk literally everywhere on campus. additionally, here is one academic building and the dorms so rn its 5pm and ive been in the same building since 9am or so...... its nice to not have to rush to classes cause sometimes they can be far apart but i could see this getting old quick

the building is pretty nice tho idk everything thats here but i wanna find a better study spot than the library cause its soooooo small and gonna be a nightmare near exams

food ????? idk where to buy some or even how to cook LMAO so idk how im going to eat while im here today i ate lunch and will eat dinner on campus (no meal plan but we have a dining hall) but idk what im gonna keep doing lol

chinese

soooooo its been a while (a full year lol) since i last took chinese so im nervous lol im already a little overwhelmed with the amount of work we have for this class which is expected cause its the same amount of workload from elementary i (lucky korean is a bit less even tho its still a lot) but idk man i just dont wanna get behind and do poorly again especially since im in china....... i need to speak chinese........

my prof seems nice but its hard to say if she will always be this easy as a prof since it was the first day - i guess i can make further judgement once she starts actually teaching and to see how hard she grades stuff

there are some assignments that im rly unclear about tho since there more like idk stuff for chinese as a language here compared to in nyc since everyone except for native speakers are required to take it so idk how things work

calc iii

ummmmmm not off to the best start lol

my professor is hard to hear and idk what he was going today the stuff we were doing is stuff ive (supposedly) learned before but i dont understand anything he told us ???????

and not sure what the workload for homework will be since its every week + we also have a quiz every week yikes i miss my calc ii prof

physics ii

huhhhhhhhhh im scared marty

i was hesitant to come abroad b/c of physics - i just started the major last semester (ie when i took physics i) so im still v shakey on physics and Yeah i didnt know one if this class would ~count~ as physics ii (ive been told its fine lol cause like it still is a lower level class so it should be fine right) and two what the workload for it would be like here in shanghai lol especially since my physics i professor was very unconventional

additionally taking physics ii with the professor that teaches it in nyc is kind of like a rite of passage kind of thing w/in the physics majors lol (not that deep whats more importatant is me doing well and being on track for the rest of the major)

with that also being said i was unsure b/c i didnt want to take myself out of the community within the physics department cause everyone i met was so amazing (as in students idk many profs) and i have like a group of ppl that i tended to do work with so i dont have them to rely on anymore

okay so back to first impressions its kind of hard to say anything abt my prof yet cause stuff we did today was rly basic (like talking about the charges of a proton/electron lmao) but for the class itself......... big yike cause there’s only 6 ppl including me in it and thats too small for me personally and im the only study-away student (or just non-chinese student in general) in the class so i feel like i stand out a lot and that im the odd one out skldjfvnjdfskv i dont like it :(((((

opinions will change once we actually get into the material and start doing hw lol 

memory politics in china

i manged to get this to count for my cultures and contexts core ayyyyyyy

actually tho in general i wanted to take some kind of chinese history/culture course cause you know........ im in china but tbh there was nothing good (like no straight chinese history class like ?????) so this was the most interesting out of what i could take relating to china

overall seems okay idk im just not a writing person and this requires three main papers and like 9 one-page assignments

[lilytcyip]

December 31st, 2018.

1.10 didn’t make it into the pit, drank in aleung’s dorm

1.15 started bullet journaling

1.22 cambridge pkp admittance

1.29 very scenic drive on the way home from school - sun shining on tree branches after rain

2.2 first post on thesoftlyspoken

2.21 cactus catch up with fsyal, aleung, tlim

2.22 peoples day - little moments of fam having dindin together

3.21 succulents diy with ewong; parked car in garage alone for the first time 

4.6 lost house key on bus the bus; supportive fam but also wanted help & someone to be there

4.22 sun run; hongdae pocha & soju with ewong

4.28 extreme air park with sis & cousin

5.1 a quiet place w/ fsyal

5.2 brunch w/ cwong, slim, acottle at twisted fork

5.2 baking chocolate cup cakes w/ rjin & painting; watched before i fall

5.3 psyc scaling; nice bed bath & beynd staff

5.16 main street & trafiq w/ ewong

5.16 tap & barrel w/ acao

5.17 meetup with nwu

5.17 bowling w/ fysal & aleung

5.18 neverland w/ rjin

5.20 avery tea w/ the fam

5.21 mott 32 with the fam ; flying away from sis for 3 months

6.7-6.11 kagoshima

6.9 sandbathing at hotel

6.20-7.7 europe trip

6.20 got upgraded to business flying to amsterdam

7.7-8.18 cambridge pkp

7.13 kuda clubbing & shots; littlearlgreys reached 1k

7.21 london w/ beth & bernice; met up with winnie; fortnum & mason tea, regent street shopping

7.28-7.29 liverpool with sherry, beth & bernice

8.4 brighton with the girls, sever sisters cliffs, pride parade, crowded train ride back to london 

8.12 london with ber & beth, buckingham palace & f&m afternoon tea

8.17 talks with kristin, naoko & berber over drinks

8.18 berber dropped me off at coach stop & i teared up

8.19 had lady M at the airport alone

8.24 meet on main vegan food & bookstore w/ ewong

8.24 thierry & pc w/ efeng

8.25 aleung’s bday party @ suika & bowling

8.29 class 5 road test; efeng’s bday party & karaoke at forage 

10.19 red velvet cupcakes baking w/ cwong, slim, acottle; held jaspter & petted him

10.26 ramen & chapters w/ slim, acottle & cwong

10.28 shopping w/ sis, new uniqlo coat & sweaters, beret

11.11 rose girls night w/ fsyal, nwu, claw, aleung

11.15 walked around & chilled (indian resident schools on campus) w/ acottle - these little moments

11.16 so hyang w/ acao; be careful with driving - almost missed motorist while shoulder checking, very close call

11.20 stepping on crisp fall leaves on my way to psyc 363 in the morning

12.19 girls movie night w/ aleung, fsyal, claw, tlim at fifis house

12.20 aurora w/ rjin & setting up profile on apps

12.21 sushi dinner, chocolate toffee cookies & lemon ricotta pancakes w/ acottle, slim & cwong at cottles house (: also petted dion

12.24 christmas eve dinner with the fam at pan pacific

12.25 seattle enchant & din tai fung with fam (nobody went on their phone during the meal and it made me feel very grateful)

12.25 workout to get fit question; lots of self-love & im very grateful ; had enough self respect to not let any toxicity into my life despite the attention

12.16 boxing day - over the knee steve madden boots

12.27 apple lesson & eggspectation brunch w/ mom (no phone, lots of talking), nail labo after

12.28 worked out w/ ewong

12.28 lunch at home, decor by sis & pics and prettiest cake at home and dindin @ sea harbour

12.29 matcha lava cake baking w/ ewong, boju, princess switch

12.31 eggspectation brunch & rc w/ aleung, lucas, fsyal 

12.31 cocoru, snowy village & facetime countdown w/ cyu & efeng

looking back, there were so many opportunities and firsts in 2018 and for me personally, it was one of the years where i grew the most. i did spend my time more wisely in 2018! i did set up schedules by setting up productivity trackers, taking more effective notes, putting more effort into studying. did end up tracking the cups of water i drank but not with the plant tracker anymore ahaha also took on new workout challenges with arms & thighs and overall, in 2018, i focused on improving myself. the most impt milestone this year is definitely starting bullet journalling! its been something that i wanted to do for years and im so glad i discovered amandarachlee’s channel bc her videos are literally what gave me that little push into bullet journalling! bubz inspired me to challenge myself AGAIN ; i was never creative / good with doodling but i always thought learning how to draw titles was kinda stupid when i was younger bc teachers never appreciated the title, only the content - which was very understandable. my creativity / doodling were never validated but little did i know it all happened for a reason and these titles are now helping to me to incorporate the skills i learned into my journal! i always knew writing nicely would be of use one day, i just didn’t know it was meant to be used for bullet journaling and thesoftlyspoken. this also applied to school: as each day passes, my goal is getting more and more clear (: psyc 370 resparked my interest in psyc and everytime im so grateful that i could be there to learn more about our experiences on a neurological level. i know i belong in this program i thought i wouldnt enjoy psyc 300 but it was one of my favourite classes! talking to silvain about dealing with negativity from patients and attending a therapy session for the first time were definitely eye-opening. im more and more sure that therapy is what i want to do and i want to help that are struggling to see the beauty in life and that if we can feel and LIVE more if we just tweak the way we think a little bit. talking to silvain lifted a huge weight off my shoulders bc after a while, you do get used to it and that you learn that people are strong and resilient. you learn that people are strong and that they are capable of being happy and i just want to be a part of the journey for people that need a little more help. starting a bullet journalling also allowed me to realize that art can take on many forms and that i don’t have to be good at doodling to express myself creatively. i cant wait for all the themes /doodles im going to create in 2019! these last couple of days in dec, i was caught up on multiple apps on my phone that i didn’t get to read / be productive as much as i had hoped for. but its okay, i still had a good break and im still so so thankful that i got to spend quality time with family and friends. being on these apps were another good experience; im glad i had enough self-respect to not any toxicity into my life despite the amount of attention i got. i didnt know i had so much self-love in me and im so so thankful <3 i was also surprised and that a lot of my friends offered to be there for the bbt meetup and it just made me feel very loved bc i thought it was too much of a hassle. sister setting up the balloons / cake for my birthday was a beautiful surprise and i felt very very loved.

another big thing was definitely the exchange experience at pkp. those 6 weeks at cambridge, i made lifelong memories and met people that i would never forget. i bonded with hk people for the first time and it really felt like home. when youre alone and you go on solo trips and live independently, you learn so much about yourself. but getting to meet other people from other countries and seeing how our cultural differences influenced our ways of thinking was the most rewarding experience. i really needed to realize that and that we are all biased in our own ways. i was disappointed in myself on the brighton train trip but what i learned from that was that while it may seems like there’s nothing much you can do and that there will be moments when you feel weak and helpless, theres always SOMETHING that you could do for at least 1 person. more importantly, i needed to recognize the power imbalance issue does exist in first-world countries like the UK and that we could all be doing a little more

2018 was a year of discovering how much self-love i had, how much other people loved and cherished me, going on adventures, and that being thankful for all of you have before you ask for more. things you hoped for in 2018 did come true: the exchange / major both turned out okay and there’s no use in worrying about them bc they will all come together, one step at a time. 

in 2019, continue to be grateful, patient, present, and dont forget to listen more. heres another year of memories, self-discovery and fun adventures on this journey called life (: 

[guhhhhhhhhhhh]

I was tagged to do a thing by the fabulous @ice---queen and I am answering this now before I forget!!

Rules:  Answer eleven questions, make eleven questions and tag eleven people. 

1. If you could pick a different color for the sky, what would it be?

Easily my preferred colour for the sky would be lavender!

2. If you could be in a movie about a historical figure, who would you want to be? Would you be the main/secondary/extra character?

oh man I would probably slay at playing Robbie Ross in any sort of Wilde bioptic 

3. If you were going to be trapped in an apocalypse bunker for an indefinite number of years and could only bring one book (or book series), what would it be?

I would bring either the Lord John Grey series (which I have already read several times over so maybe isn’t the best choice, but I love it with all my heart) or the Tales of the City series by Amistead Maupin, which I just started and Love To Death

4. Thoughts on road trips?

LOVE LOVE LOVE I make amazing road trip playlists,  ooooh man yep I really love road trips. going places, seeing things, driving through endless farmland listening to a collection of great jams with friends is the ideal adventure tbh

5. Favorite movie/TV trope?

im a hoe for that whole enemies>friends>lovers troupe. I also love it when the main character as a secret talent/whatever and only like one other person knows and they have a lot of inside jokes

6. What’s made you smile this week?

not much, but mostly just seeing beautiful dogs around campus. Somebody’s beautiful husky ran up beside me while I was coming home from a long day and it was maybe the highlight of my week 

7. Do you have a comfort movie/book?

I have a LOT of comfort movies but the first that comes to mind is A Design For Living (1933) and the second is Kikis Delivery Service

as far as comfort books go, I really love reading The Charioteer because I can just immerse myself in it and its so good I love it. 

8. How do you feel about board games?

they’re fun but I rarely play them unless someone else invites me to. I associate them with my childhood and also with my one aunt who always whips them out at family gatherings and ropes all my reluctant cousins into playing. 

9. If you had to write a book/screenplay, what would it be about?

oh shoot I have so many ideas for books and films just running around in my head constantly that there is no way I could pin one down. Im currently writing something about a couple of gays in the 50s and its just a boring generic romance but ehhhhhh. im realizing that a lot of the things I write would work out better as films but I have literally no experience in writing screenplays or anything like that....sooooooo

10. What’s that one thing you really wish your favorite historical figure hadn’t done?

Wilfred Owen maybeummmmmmmm Not Dying  

11. Someone’s writing the story of your life; what’s your favorite scene/chapter so far?

Standing in a grove of aspens at a little cider place in northern Michigan, listening to the leaves rustling in the breeze and watching the shadows on the ground and feeling perfectly happy for just a little bit.

my Questions: 

1. Any strange irrational fears? 

2. Do you have that book that you keep coming back to over and over and could re-read a thousand times?

3. What do you do on those lazy rainy days when there’s no reason to leave your house?

4. If money wasn’t a problem, what would you love to do with your life?

5. If you write, what is your favorite POV to use?

6. Favorite plant?

7. What’s your opinion on camping? is it worth sleeping on the ground surrounded by bugs? 

8. What’s the one place you never want to leave and always want to go back to?

9. Have any guilty pleasure movies/books?

10. Think back on your day, what has been the highlight so far? 

11. What’s something that you’re really looking forward to in the next few weeks?

im not going to tag 11 people lmao but I will tag just a few (and y’all don’t have to do it if you don’t want to) @yet-he-was-intrepid   @vvaugh  @stalinistqueens

[onlyjihoons]

college bf!jinyoung

req: collage bf!bae jinyoung au please? im in love with your writings!!!💕💕💕

a/n: special thanks to xuan @hwinkinghwi for the dope mb,, and tho i hate to admit it,, yes baejin looks good in a beret

major: early childhood education

honestly has no idea what to do with his life, but daehwi told him that he was very good with children so he listened lmao

this may or may not have been inspired by w1go

when he first stepped into the classroom, all the female students swooned, because its rare to find male students in that major

even rarer to find such handsome guys in early childhood education

needless to say, all of them shoved him their phone numbers, and when he reached home, he threw them all away LOL

honour roll student back in high school, and of course, valedictorian AND voted #1 cutest boy in the cohort?? oh yes good

people often doubt his ability with children, like,, with that face of yours, shouldn’t you be in mass media or fashion?

but jinyoung can calm a crying baby in less than 5 seconds and he just impressed all of his professors and lecturers

and also the ability to make children happy in just 1 action of his ggugguggagga

and no,, it isnt cute,, its just him badly imitating jihoon and his face does the scrunching thing,, children love it and find it amusing

able to master any baby sitting trick in just one glance and repeats it perfectly

now, lets imagine,, jinyoung cradling a 6-month old infant and singing a lullaby for him to sleep

walking around and swaying to mimick the movement of a rocking cradle

youre welcome

honestly,, jinyoung and babies are the next otp to biscuit wafers and chocolate aka kitkats everyong reference hah im so funny

a1 theory student, able to memorise a 101 page long lecture note in one week, and gets full marks in every test

also in the school’s dance club, dances fairly well, though very underrated

lowkey popular?? but only amongst people who have had classes with him,, is also very lowkey about his life

you, on the other hand, a vetinary major

the only major which actually gives you an excuse to avoid human interaction

to you, animals are true to themselves and dont lie, arent snakes like humans

you have a 2 dogs at home, a poodle and a maltese, which gave birth to tiny maltipoo puppies which were absolutely adorable

you even have 2 guinea pigs,,, your mother was about to chase you out of home because of the number of pets you have

an avid animal lover, the worst part of your major was to put down sick animals, you really hated that the animals were left with no choice but to die

anyhow, one day your professor asked you to bring some puppies over to the early childhood section

you wanted to question why they needed the puppies but you just kept quiet

so you brought over 2 golden retriver puppies, one in each hand

you didnt have enough hands to open the door for yourself, so you had to use your foot to gently kick it open

you were greeted with a room full of toys, and a mirror on one side

you were puzzled, but someone then came in after you

it was this boy, in blonde-brown hair, carrying a toddler in his arms

he looked way better than most of your classmates, to be honest

you regretted not removing your ugly white doctor’s jacket, and your hair was up in a messy bun, with your round rimmed glasses resting on your nose bridge

you were far from presentable, and that boy looked ready to walk on a runway in a simple pullover and jeans

“i--uh... professor lee told me to bring over these 2 puppers here, yeah.” you stuttered

“ah, thank you so much, i need them for a study, but dont worry, the kid wont harm them.” he smiled, as he let the toddler in his arms familiarise himself with the puppies

you nodded your head, then joined him at his seat at the side of the room

“uh, when can i return the puppies...”

“jinyoung”

“jinyoung-ssi?”

“i dont need them for very long actually,” jinyoung said while scribbling down notes on his clipboard, “just about 15 minutes...”

“y/n”

“y/n-ssi.”

you bit your lip, as much as jinyoung was handsome, he seemed cold and unapproachable

you wanted to make small talk but seeing how engrossed he was in his task you decided not to disturb him and observe along with him

after about 15 minutes, jinyoung stopped writing and approached the toddler to tell him they had to go

obviously the toddler didn’t want to, and threw a tantrum

jinyoung calmly tried to calm him down, but the tantrums got worse

so you had to step in and tell the toddler that he could visit the vetinary department anytime to see the puppies, in the kid voice you picked up from your brother when he tried to calm his crying son

the toddler stopped crying, much to jinyoung’s surprise

“this hyung right here will give you candy if you behave well and listen to him!”

“wha--”

“really?”

“really. right, jinyoung?”

jinyoung gulped, “yeah, i will.”

you winked at jinyoung, while carrying the two puppies

“i thought you would be better than me at this, jinyoung-ssi.”

jinyoung turned bright red, and laughed sheepishly, “yeah, i guess you’re good with kids, y/n-ssi.”

and that was prolly the last thing you heard from jinyoung after you left

you had to calm your beating heart as soon as you dropped off the puppies

you thought it would be your last time meeting jinyoung, but no fam heaven has loads more in store for you

you liked to do your work/study at macdonalds’ ,just because the smell of food motivates you

of course, with a mountain of french fries by your side and a large green tea

you have an insane addiction to french fries, you reckon you are gonna die of hypertension before the age of 40

but all’s good because you do exercise regularly, aka chasing after animals

one day you had way too many assignments, and your roommate being a light sleeper, you decided to complete it at macdonalds’ 

you were on your 5th packet of french fries and 3rd cup of coffee

at this point you were about to just drop dead but the assignment was worth alot on your grade

and you had to get that 4.0 gpa

suddenly Likey came on your playlist, and you had to jam to it

because its a bop guys pls support twice

and doing the likey choreography

“you’re good at dancing”

you got the biggest shock of your life, seeing jinyoung settle down on the seat opposite you with a tray of his meal

you also cursed at your luck, always looking at your worst in front of jinyoung

“n-no.. i cant really dance ahahahahAHHAHA”

“what are you doing?” jinyoung peeked from behind your laptop screen, “assignment?”

“yeah... i’ve got a presentation on thursday too.”

“does that mean you get off campus early?” jinyoung asked with his mouth full

“yeah, i guess.”

“do you want to, perhaps go on a date after your presentation?”

you stopped typing momentararily, “a date?”

“yeah, i want to thank you for helping me out that day.” 

you slumped, you thought he was actually asking for a date-date

“and also,, i think you’re kinda cute--”

your eyes widened, as your face blushed at jinyoung’s sudden confession

and that was how the both of you got together HAHAH

very abrupt im sorry

jinyoung would wait for you at the lobby of the dorms to walk to campus together

and go for a quick coffee run

barista!ong would shoot jinyoung playful winks and glances, and jinyoung will never patronise the cafe again 

macdonalds’ dates,, be it with homework or without homework

his lectures always end earlier than yours,, or maybe its just that he blasted off after his lectures to not keep you waiting

most of the time, its the latter

would ask you loads of questions

“how is your course like?”

“are animals more well behaved than children?”

“do you need to bribe them to listen to you?”

literally the type of bf that just walked out of a manga... like he is literally nunbuseyo shining shining without even trying fam

your presence would never fail to bring a smile on his face

would pinch your cheeks whenever he feels like it

lowkey annoying but you know he loves you

“why is my aegi so cute?!?!?!?”

“jinyounf plsf sthop”

your number 1 hypeman too

likes to see you in shambles(messy hair,no makeup, oversized outfits) because “no makeup aegi is the best”

has a habit of calling you aegi bc youre smaller than him makes no sense im sorry

often does the nose scrunch when he is in concentration which is super cute

yall know what im talking about

buys iced tea for you in the summer and hot tea in the winter

lowkey clingy and gets jealous easily

but most of the time he would be messing w you,, always ending it off with, “i’m just kidding, aegi”

whenever you’re stressed while doing work or anything he would have the 7th sense lol and immediately cuddle you with no warning and sometimes you end up having to rush your assignments bc jinyoung distracts you too much

when jinyoung gets stressed, he often bites his lips to one point it started to bleed

and you had to help him nurse the wound rip 

then sneaks a kiss to your lips,,

“my lips would heal immediately like that”

thats how your first kiss went lol

tbh jinyoung is hella shamless as contary to his image

but overall a sweet and caring boyfriend that loves skinship

[kappasigmalife]

Characters for a story im doing

Christopher “Chrisper” Matthews Age: 22 (chp 1), 24(chp 2) Eye Color: Brown (Chp 1), (Greyish-brown, Chp 2) Hair color: Brunette, crew cut, greyish brown (Chp 2) Identifying feature (Beginning comics): Rectangular glasses, sapphire stud on right ear Cause of death: Freezing, taken off life support Spectral Ability: Cryomancy, Emotional Calming Family: Helen Monroe: Half-sister         Joesph Matthews: Little brother         Laura Matthews: Mother         Andrew Matthews: Father Skills: massaging people, fencing, able to write almost anything, only person who can calm Robby down without violence, freezing the school to get out of class. Interests: reading, writing, bass guitar, walking in the dark, smoking, gaming, keep his area clean Background: Fairly neutral and stands by his beliefs, but keeps them to himself before causing a scene, caring to all that aren’t assholes to him, and ready to help his friends when they need it. While in chapter one he is normally happy on the outside, but deep down has loneliness building up from failed dates until meeting the man of his dreams at pride. An asshole with a heart of gold, many see him as any other dick, but when you need a massage or a talking to, he’s your man, seen with a hand of ice in one and a joint in the other; he still can’t get to the level of chill as Paul. Despite being abused emotionally and physically by his father, he still holds his head high. While considered the heir to a major industrial corporation ran by his father, Chris was more of a reclusive creative thinker, jotting down ideas for stories in a journal he kept hidden away, despite what his father wanted, Chris went to university under a liberal studies major focusing on natural and social sciences, hoping to get into social media coordination in conjunction of being a writer. As payback his father forced him to join a frat or risk losing his college tuition as a result, this ultimately led to his untimely death. Confused of what he really wanted, Chris explored dating both genders and always fell flat on his face either from superficial morons or people who confuse lust for love. He comes to love the man of his dreams, brendan a chubby goth who also happens to be a werewolf, they moved in mated and got married, all the while during an ritual for the mateship, chris is turned into a frost wolf and remains to devote his love to his one true love. Despite everything, chris slowly becomes cold and regretful after murdering a werewolf while being jumped after a meeting, leading to his imprisonment, and trial. While detained he was tortured by the guards as a turned werewolf instead of pureblood now scarred and having no lasting look in his eyes, even when gazing in the heart of brendan. Although slowly turns back after being hugged.

Paul Stone Age: 23(Chp 1), 25(Chp 2) Eye Color: Blue Hair color: blonde hair to the neck Identifying feature (beginning comics): Wireless headset on head Cause of Death: Electrocution by speaker Spectral Ability: Technological Transport, Omnipotence Family: Eh doesn’t care to say Skills: Hacking, engineering, singing, expert gamer, arson, canny ability to remain calm in any situation. Interests: gaming, singing, listening to metal, smoking, drinking, going on warpaths, setting the campuses forest on fire. Background: stoner genius, Paul complies with society’s bullshit and tends to stay away from drama by getting high as much as he can. Completing a collection of games from the human world keeps him occupied while learning about gender studies and music production while at AU. Moreover he relies on his RD of the house Reefer to get him the good shit before he’s got to deal with more crap around the house. While knowing everything about everyone, he tends to wait for the perfect moment to pop out and tell someone off for a witty comeback or just film a sex tape with his friends involved with no consent and a measly 10% of the profits. A natural ladies man ready for a polyromantic night in or out of his house tends to go well for him, although many end up falling for another. Being friends with a cryomancer massage therapist helps his stress during finals week, but if he’s pushed over the edge, you’ll be knocking on heaven’s door with his growling voice. Born into a moderately decent home, Paul was drawn to the art of metal at a young age and developed his voice by the time puberty hit; his longtime friends formed a band originally covering popular tracks of the time but soon after making original music on soundcloud got gigs ranging from their hometown to the upper levels of city limits, growing in popularity, only for his dreams being shot down by a bolt of lightning hitting a speaker and ending up being the newest edition to AU. despite knowing everything the only thing paul does know is why helen falls for robby, which baffles him to no end, until he tokes up again.

Robert Esposito Age: 21(Chp 1), 23(Chp 2) Eye color: Green Hair color: Dirty Blonde, cut short Identifying feature (Beginning comics): Naruto headband around forehead Cause of Death: Exhaustion from a 13 day watching spree of Naruto from beginning to end Spectral ability: Can enter any known fantasy world, accumulates a cartoon body Family: repressed so much of his childhood he doesn’t even remember being born. Skills: Filibustering, knowing way too much about anime and manga, sketching and painting, taking a punch, getting a girl out of his league to go out with him. Interests: Reading manga, fighting his roommates on chores, peeking on Chris’s failed romance life, making smart jokes, making his own manga a reality, organizing his dvd collection Background: Not much known in the past of his 6 ft. muscled nerd and his manga collection, he just showed up out of nowhere and was sent to live with Paul to get off Arthurs back about the amount of “flaws” of the afterlife. Going through 4 houses, he finally found someone who could tolerate his filibuster, or at least stoned enough to not care. Although ready to jump into a issue and help as much as he can, he is far more doing harm than good, probably from being doped too much as a kid. Usually buried in his collection of every one piece and Naruto issue known to man, he usually fights Chris on his taste of bad anime like gurren laggan, fate/stay, and Magi. Always ready for an adventure while everyone else wants to smoke and chill with a few games, he’s ready to drag them into any world he chooses, even without consent. Known for his abrasive commentary the housemates have their own way of dealing with Robby’s tirades of ranting, mostly with a hammer to the head or ice to the mouth, either way he’s quiet for an hour. While many find his words confusing, no one can compete with his art style and his attention to details and knowledge of chemistry

Helen Monroe Age: 24(Chp 1), 26(Chp 2) Eye Color: Hazel Hair color: Light brown Identifying Feature (Beginning comics): Black choker with a rose petal Cause of Death: Overdose of Adderall Spectral ability: Magic bag of weapons, can pull them out of thin air for comedic relief Family: Sophia Monroe: Mother         Andrew Matthews: Father Christopher Mathews: Half-brother         Joseph Matthews: Half-brother Skills: Weapon proficiency, singing, fencing, dealing with Robby’s attitude, make people pay for their crap against others. Interests: Singing with the band, cuddling with Robby, listening to Chris’s stories, smoking joints, singing Disney songs with Paul. Background: Born from an affair with Andrew Matthews and a woman he picked up from the bar one night while engaged to Chris’s mother Laura, Helen was born into a bad part of the neighborhood after Matthew viewed her mother as nothing but a druggie and herself a waste of life. She struggled with her mom’s issues but saw the love Lauren gave her working two jobs to make ends meet. She put herself through college thanks to odd jobs in babysitting her bitch of a landlords child and being paid with cash and half their rent taken down as a result. She made it to university where she finally met her half-brother during the first day of orientation, while the two saw their uncanny resemblance from their mutual bastard father, the two found no ill will towards the other, knowing in each other’s eyes that they had it rough.  Struggling with classes led her to purchasing Adderall just to focus on the majority of work piling up, only to later overdose one night while her roommate was away. When in the university she’s placed with Chris and his friends and finally feels like she got a family, a horrible dysfunctional family, but one she loves, and while loves Robby with all her heart, doesn’t stop her from correcting his behavior when he does something stupid. A true badass at heart, even Paul warns never to get on her bad side.Reefer Age: Unknown Eye Color: I don’t know red I think Hair color: Bro I’m a skeleton Cause of death: Something stupid I’m sure Family: All dead Spectral Ability: reap souls, create weed, somehow can be high without getting high Skills: Growing and cultivating weed, reaping through super smash brawl in one hour, smoking a literal farm of weed in a day, pyrotechnics. Interests: Watching the gang grow up, play with the band, smoke weed, go on crazy adventures with Paul, customize his scythe to fit his mood, disobey Arthur's commands. Background: a lovable dealer from god knows where and god knows who, reefer comes from the command of Arthur and acts as the groups guiding force of growth and weed collection. Knowing Paul since he got to AU, considers him to be his little bro and chilliest of anyone on campus, randomly sleeps in the house and allowed to stay, he lurks around cleaning and cooking while everyone does their own thing. His main prerogative is to follow the few rules he keeps close to his few remaining brain cells, being that no more than 3 pets at a time. also provides many gadgets and pieces that result in consequences later on usually in the form of Arthur visiting the house enough times to have a welcome mat saying, hi Arthur sorry don’t care. Generally the calmest RD in the whole campus, but can lose his shit whenever he senses shit going down. 

Brendan Balfour Wolfheart Age: 21(Chp 1), 23(Chp 2) Eye Color: golden brown/ red when turned Hair color: black Nickname: Fluffy butt Cause of death: Illness when an infant Family: Alasdair Wolfheart: Father Veronica Wolfheart: Mother Baltair Wolfheart: Grandfather Alicia Wolfheart: Adoptive younger sister Christopher Matthews Wolfheart: Husband/mateship Helen Monroe: Sister In Law Joseph Matthews: Brother in law Andrew Matthews: Father in law Laura Matthews: Mother in law Spectral Ability: Echolocation Growl Skills: Photography, hunting, cuddling, making chris happy, flaunting his body, tracking people Interests: Getting to see chris naked any chance he gets, cuddling to him every night, making sure paul gets the best angle of his furry ass for the channel, trying to get his dad to stop being so embarrassing, eating (like a lot of food), the only man who can make chris smile like an spaz. Background: Born to a wealthy family of werewolves, brendan is the firstborn son of alasdair and veronica, whom were pleased to shower their pup with acceptance. By the time high school hit, he came out as homosexual but kept it within the family to avoid bullies, like being chubby wasn't bad enough. Not being much of a musical prowess like his father, brendan would focus on film and photography as a hobby always getting the latest equipment, until Azazel got to them. Going to AU began a new chapter of his life and was welcomed into the gay community with open arms, and asses. He was nervous of meeting someone special, until he took western civilization and noticed a certain brown eyed cub sitting next to him who got his attention, but being shy he turned his tail and ran off when he offered to help him study. Only after running to the bathroom and feeling his chest pound did he think otherwise to respond with a yes to the question. Brendan would see him around campus smoking and drinking with his friends and get red faced by his genuine smile and wisecracks. It wasn't until he went to pride with link and was given an invite to Pans wedding that he was given the chance to talk to him, after 15 shots of liquid courage though. After talking and finding their love of art, scifi, fantasy, horror, and mythology, they danced under the spotlight gazing with him making the first move by stepping on his foot, leading him to follow his heart. While normally a shy boy and a little self conscience of his appearance, chris would always reassure him he loved him no matter what, to the point that he was asked to move in with the gang not one month after beginning to date. But was hiding a side of himself, and showed chris his werewolf form with a sexy striptease only for chris to look shocked but ultimately showed who was top dog that very night. It wasn't long before they became mates for life and engaged, with hijinks ensuing including robby kissing his man, flying into a blind rage, trapped in castlevania and falling into a coma, only to see his love in his lap worried. All together this shy boy knows how to come out of his shell but also has a habit of stepping back in when times get too rough.

Alicia Fiona Wolfheart Age: 20(Chp 1), 22(Chp 2) Eye color: Emerald green Hair color: Raven black Cause of death: Stillborn Family: Alasdair Wolfheart: adoptive Father Veronica Wolfheart: adoptive  Mother Baltair Wolfheart: Grandfather Brendan Wolfheart: Adoptive Brother Christopher Wolfheart: brother in law Spectral Ability: Matchmaking Skills: swordplay, event planning, playing piano and guitar, being daddy's little girl, blood draining, matchmaking, spying on paul. Interests: Being with paul, making sure daddy doesn't embarrass the family with his nudity, wrestling her brother, trying to get Robbie to stop being a idiot. Background: oh bet you didn't expect a vampire to be adopted by werewolves, well that just makes you a bigot, now it may be shocking but alasdair and veronica love their badass daughter even if of different blood and race. From an young age alicia ran around crapping on alasdair's car changing into a bat and spooking the neighbors around the islands. Her mastery of swords comes from teaching of veronica and how to cut a bitch who messes with your man, although alicia depends more on sabotage and mental torture. Her affection for paul comes from a odd attraction to him despite not feeling a connection using her skill as a matchmaker. Growing up with brendan was all about chases and seeing his werewolf dick running around the house, truly he grew up to be dad. While developed early, alasdair played overprotective daddy by hunting them and keeping the boys from hurting his baby girl. In high school, she did fall in love, only to be played as a fool and humiliated by the boys saying she was just a rich girl looking to play. After being homeschooled, she discovered her love of music playing guitar and piano and working with her father at the record studio, although only for the summer as she demanded to go to college. Being sent to a werewolf school kinda sucked without brendan, so after meeting paul the first time, she decided to transfer to AU where she would bunk with helen, further cockblocking robby and enjoying every minute. After seeing chris and brendan marry, as well as copious amounts of alcohol and weed, she slept with paul and soon began a nice relationship that would be short lived after not seeing her matchmaking working with the two of them, only to discover her limitations are on herself, while she can see the matches of everyone else. Telling paul her true feelings, even after seeing him marry led her to find happiness with another, a man named hiro who she would meet in the later chapters and help raise a child together. Her father may see her grown up but will tackle pounce at any second to hug and praise her as his little angel.

Alasdair “Romulus” Wolfheart Age: 42(Chp 2), 44(Chp 3) Eye color: Orange Hair color: Reddish Brown Cause of Death: Impaled on Excalibur Family: Veronica Wolfheart: Wife Baltair Wolfheart: Father Brendan Wolfheart: Son Alicia Wolfheart: Adoptive daughter Remus Wolfheart: Older brother Christopher Matthews Wolfheart: Son in law Skills: Music production, tracking, loving his family, giving it to veronica all night long, flaunting his stuff, tearing apart anyone who messes with his daughter, metal music, stoning out with paul and chris, stripping naked in a matter of moments. Interests: Planning weddings, ensuring his children have a bright future, getting belly rubs from his wife, reminding robby to pay for his busted wall. Background: raised to a middle class family of werewolves, alasdair used to go by romulus by his family until college when he met his best friend Arthur, while the two were utterly different, they both saw the good in each other and would hang out around the house as much as possible. Although when the years came to a close at university and a race war was starting, arthur would change his demeanor and go on an all out kill spree against the others that stood in his way. In the chaos romulus lost his love and committed suicide on arthur's sword telling him to live with his choices before dying. As he awoke he was reunited with veronica and his son, who he lost at the age of 1 to illness, now able to grow as a healthy child and start a new life, he gave himself the name alastair to repress his old life and make himself a new man. While in the afterlife he is able to create his own record label. While his personality is optimistic and cheery at least for the first few chapters, he does come with some things in his life he keeps secret, like why he wants to break arthur's neck, why he's protective of his kids and why he never goes to a council meeting. Joining the crusades at the age of 22 way back when really cost him after seeing nothing else of the world after losing the child he and veronica loved most. Only to be reunited later on.

[jojotier]

4, 6, 32!

4. Do you believe in ghosts?

I definitely think there’s something that happens to you after you die, even if I don’t really know much about an afterlife- there’s plenty of ghosts around, I think, but not really just human ghosts! The ghosts of animals, forests, things that used to be before but have been desecrated- that sort of thing.

That and also I had a minor out of body experience and saw Satan on my ceiling lmao

6. Do you have a Deja Vu story?

WAY TOO MANY. I always seem to be finding myself dreaming something, thinking that I’m going to remember this, and then months later after I forgot, it happens. 

The more vivid one was back in May I had a dream where I was walking along the side of a highway with something (I didn’t know what it was at the time) in my hand, with a girl I’d never seen before beside me. Someone was coming our way, and she was muttering, ‘Oh no oh nooo, please let this not be a killer,’. Sure enough months later, I settle down in college and after Bio Lab (which is in a building off campus bc the old lab building burned down) the shuttle was taking too long, and I was hanging with my roommate, who had lab at the same time. We decided to walk because we were hungry and I had work, and the campus wasn’t too too far. Sure enough, on our way back we had to walk along the side of a highway, a man walked past us, my roommate was muttering ‘oh no oh no please don’t be a killer’ and the thing in my hand was a rainbow umbrella.

32. Weirdest Coincidence?

Okay funny story- I do roleplaying on a site called Cherubplay, which is primarily a Homestuck site. Don’t go there, it’s a literal cesspool of bullshit (i say, but I’m still using it). But yea, I connected to a partner and they’re pretty chill, so we talked OOC a lot about life in general. See, this person was a big JohnKat shipper, and I mentioned that oh haha, I had a JohnKat story once on ffnet that had to do with John inexplicably getting hypnotism powers. It was honestly really shitty and pretty OOC, but back in the day I was proud of that shit. I couldn’t have been more than 13 when I’d written it, and at the point of talking to this person I was around 17-18. So, a good almost 5 years have passed.

Then the person is like ‘!!! is the title ~insert title here~’

and im like ‘yea!!! how’d you know?’

‘That’s the fic that got me into JohnKat! and to a minor extent, hypnotism plots…’

what are the odds?

[ac-ars]

What if I want it all?

oh damn kill me, this day was super meme so i was distracted almost all the time (ofc i didnt take the prompt that literally lmao)

this one is for @sky-girls because im sure she will know why, i love you very much barbara

~this baby is continuation of day 4~

other ficweek fics

DAY 6: “You’re offering to give me a kiss if I buy your shitty fundraiser popcorn? Well, in that case…”

What if I want it all?

Matteo doesn’t feel really close to his uni especially since he graduated, but sometimes those not cool people he had many occasions to meet have nice ideas. Like fundraising during uni events or sport days. Now he attends them all as well, because, well, it means no classes and despite his position he likes no classes. So except those extra people who do everything to show off their pretty/ugly faces or get some contacts in uni to pass easily, there are also those who actually care about getting money for some reason.

After he graduated he remembers they were fundraising for some orphanage, the other time for the hospital. There was something about the closest kindergarten, but Matteo doesn’t really remember what. Today there is this sports day; he will see all those ambitious students running around and competing like he used to, before he got bored with that.

He is completely sure he’s gonna die of boredom, but fundraising people gonna have it worse; they’ve always been poor unfortunate souls almost sleeping by their tents and those booths looking more miserable than kids selling lemonade in the States. Matteo looks the alarm on his phone screen shutting the snooze for third time with a sigh and turns in the sheets. Lyra meows at him probably complaining about this devilish device that wakes her up again. Good she’s too lazy to actually move the phone on his bed until it falls down and the screen breaks (happened once or twice; he’s never been mad for long).

“Just go to sleep, cat,” he mumbles and she hits him with her tail, completely offended by the name Ambar has been using since day one. “Okay, I’m sorry. Don’t hit me, I love you.”

The only reply from her is satisfied meow and her head rubbing under his chin.

He is going to be super late at uni, but also he will be super late at home in the afternoon, so snuggles with his girl are worth being late. When it’s half past seven he gives up; he needs to wake up and the only thought in Matteo’s head is deep regret of promising the professor he would be there for sure.

It’s not his favorite thing to do. Not even top ten.

Then this sudden idea hits him. What if Luna is gonna be there too?

They are nothing though. They haven’t started texting, calling each other or even talking about something else than class stuff. He can say he’s been pretty disappointed with this, but she’s been very good at acting the most casual.

It’s not like Matteo Balsano isn’t able to keep his chill for a girl, but there is something in her he can’t forget. How warm she was in his arms, how her breath tickled his skin, how her forehead felt under his lips. He accepted that; it’s not like anything would happen between them, or at least not now. Matteo gets lost in those thought and the next place he finds himself is by the door with his jacket and car keys in his hand. Before leaving he yells to Lyra that he loves her much and closes the apartment.

As soon as he takes first step into the campus he wants to take step back and run to his car. There is at least this luck of his that no one will bump into him even by accident since by some magic Matteo is really known at his faculty. No one would like to have a problem with nim and he is not sure if it is because of the fact they remember him from earlier or they just know who he is at this point.

He needs to find the professor right now to show him that his ass appeared here just like he promised. Matteo hopes he can just talk to the guy and go to Gastón’s to chill. Or maybe he should invite Gastón over?

Plot twist: professor told Matteo to check all places and make sure all students are handling their shit correctly and smiled saying he's been doing great. Matteo almost cried in horror, but he needs to do that. It's just that he really doesn't feel like smiling to everyone and being nice; he just wants to sleep and not remember about two tons of grading on his desk.

He sighs going to dart competition booth checking if there's really no way some high school kid kills or at least stabs themselves and bless, because they would only throw the dart at the organizing student, but that doesn't matter that much. He has to eat this disgusting free cake baked by some anti masterchef, hoping he won't get food poisoning. Of course, Matteo tells them they did great job and those students smile so brightly at him he can't say otherwise.

He almost gets hit when some high schooler tries to throw the basketball to the basket, but it's working in some way so he just tells them to chill and not to hit the cake next to them.

When Balsano is almost done with the papers and he notices on the last page the dog shelter booth and he immediately feels bad for not even thinking they are there. He has a cat himself so that's super nice to know someone cares about puppies enough to get money for them.

Matteo hasn't expected the person who is there though.

At first Italian just crossed his arms watching the person who is sitting by the booth. She rests her arms on it and her head is laying on top with really neutral face. The most hilarious thing about seeing Luna Valente here is the fact she's wearing sunglasses in the shade.

“I see you are having fun.” Matteo chuckles softly shifting his position slightly. She doesn't answer, ignoring him completely and he isn't sure what he did wrong, but something hits his stupid head and his fingers reach for her sunglasses.

Matteo bursts out with loud laugh making her jump on her seat. She has been shamelessly napping.

“What?” she mumbles rubbing her eyes when she sees it's him. “Let me sleep, please.”

“From what I know you're fundraising right now, little lady, not sleeping.” He lowkey curses himself for using this nickname he used during the party, but she seems too confused enough by sudden waking up to notice.

“I've been sitting here since seven am, and I am super tired, please Matteo, just let me nap.” He sighs and goes from behind the booth to sit next to her on the other chair.

Luna doesn't move away and he jumps with relief inside. “Couldn't sleep at night?”

Brunette lets air out quickly. “Yes, you should know it. It's your fault,” she mumbles and he almost chokes.

“I don't know if I should take it as compliment or-” He pokes her on the ribs softly and she jumps glaring at him.

“It's not. You wanted the test to be tomorrow so I was studying.” Her pout is definitely too cute to not smile at it.

“Well, I'm sorry I want everyone to pass.” Matteo shrugs and she growls resting her forehead on the desk when he continues. “How long do you have to sit here?”

“Until three.” He barely hears her mumble, so he has to lean his head next to hers.

“You poor thing, are people at least coming over here?”

“No, they are drawn by this shitty free cake because it's free. They don't want my popcorn.”

“You have popcorn?” Matteo raises his eyebrows.

“Yeah and it sucks as hell too. Why did I even agree to this?”

He smiles nudging her slightly. “I would buy your popcorn.”

Luna grins back at him and her eyes soften before she coughs violently, startling him a little. “There’s no way I would let you buy the popcorn.” Her head shakes.

Matteo turns to her on the chair hitting her knee with his and leans his elbow on the table. “Why wouldn’t you?”

Brunette bites her lower lip and picks up this small board her hands were keeping down. He hasn’t noticed it before so it wakes up his curiosity super quickly. “Because of that, like hour ago the professor noticed there wasn’t much money here so he looked at me and asked if I liked kissing people.” She shrugs and Matteo still doesn’t get what happened with that.

He softly takes her hands moving them away and raises the board.

BUY POPCORN GET A KISS SUPPORT PUPPIES

Balsano laughs out loud leaning his head on Luna’s arm. She growls pushing him away but he presses his forehead to her shoulder blade and keeps giggling until he feels tears in corner of his eyes.

“I hate you.” He can hear her murmur next to his ear.

Italian ignores her comment, which is completely, surely a lie. “And how was it? Have you kissed someone?”

Blush tints her already red cheeks and he suddenly feels uncomfortable when he thinks about her kissing someone. She opens her mouth unsure. “Like three people, I think. Maybe four, but one was in the cheek because it was too much.”

Matteo hates it. He hates the idea of someone having her lips on theirs. Even if it was for a second, they still got farther than he has ever managed. What is one kiss, one quick peck just to get money for puppies, though, compared to having her in his arms by her idea for an hour? He guesses that it is enough to not burn entire popcorn she has and pull her away from there.

“Was it nice at least?” Leaves his mouth before he can stop himself. Why the fuck is he digging the topic?

“I guess? It’s for the dogs after all, and the one girl who bought double popcorn was hot.” She rambles uncontrollably and it makes him chuckle, but in his head he is throwing all of the damn popcorn into a black hole.

“As long as she was hot, I guess.” He just shrugs.

“You don’t seem to be into that.”

Pout appears on her face along with small cute frown when he doesn’t really answer. He just looks at the watch on his wrist and hums deep in thoughts. Luna nudges him with her elbow waking him up, but she gets another shrug from him.

Brunette says nothing really for few minutes before he casually reaches for her hand and starts playing with star ring on her finger. “Do you have to stay here only until the popcorn is all sold?”

She licks her lips like involuntarily and sighs. “Yeah, if it’s gone before three I’m free.”

“I can buy it all,” he says casually, as if he’s talking about the weather.

“What the fuck?” Luna almost falls off the chair and he has to catch her waist to keep her up. “How would you do that? And what’s with all this popcorn?”

“I’m seeing my best friend this afternoon, I’m sure he would love to get some free popcorn from me.”

Luna giggles. “If you do I will call you my hero.”

“But you know…” he starts leaning closer, not sure what the hell he is doing right now, and smirking a little. “I’m gonna get the popcorn, support the puppies… So what about the kiss?”

Blush on her face grows much much and she looks super pretty. He has no idea what he wants to achieve, because looking at her recent actions she doesn’t really seem to want to be close to him in any way.

Matteo shouldn’t want that. He really, really shouldn’t.

Yet she’s the primary star to him; he can’t even try to gravitate away from her brightness and warmth. He thought he didn’t need anything except this he had already had, but then Luna Valente happened embracing him with her smile, with her happiness. No matter where he appears she is there and he wants to follow her everywhere as well.

They shouldn’t, but they are gravitating towards each other despite all shit that’s standing on their way. And there’s much of this shit.

Her teeth find her lower lip taking all of his focus when she seems to be thinking about that very intensely. “Do you really want to get the kiss?”

“Only if you are willing to give me one.”

His smile must convince her. His eyes must convince her. Something she has inside her head must convince her because she nods softly and takes deep breath, not really knowing what to do. Matteo can notice it, she’s super easy to be guessed right now, and - to his surprise - she wants to kiss him as well.

She just doesn’t know how.

He pulls the curtain that’s hanging around the booth and pushes it to cover them from any sight before he presses his lips to hers softly. Luna gasps surprised and pulls away after a second, but it’s dark, it’s dark and she’s confused, breathing faster and she probably feels super warm - judging by her blush.

And yet she pulls him back; her mouth slow when her hand reaches for his lacing their fingers. Matteo smiles widely almost making the kiss impossible, but she giggles as well and it’s as awkward as beautiful.

Because the brightest star on the sky is binary.

Gastón was the happiest seeing amount of the popcorn just for him.

After cold shower he had to take to chill down all emotions Matteo gets to the bed with big grin on his face. He has no idea what’s gonna happen now, or when, or if it’s gonna happen at all, but he got to kiss Luna and nothing would fuck this day for him.

He falls on the pillow startling Lyra and covering his eyes with his forearm. There’s this moment of silence when he feels her stomping over his chest and teasing his mouth with her paw. Italian automatically kisses it like he does every single time she does it, earning a content meow from her.

Suddenly he sits up catching her with his hands and placing her on his lap. His fingers brush through her soft soft fur making her purr and himself smile.

“You know that I love you, right?”

Lyra looks at him and meows again probably saying that she loves him back. Or at least that’s what he would like to think she says.

“And I love you very much,” he adds watching her carefully. She hits his leg with her tail, getting probably impatient.

“I wanted to ask you, because many things depend on you-” He stops scratching her chin and taking deep breath. “What would you think if I liked another girl?”

[mxkhxrg]

graffiti alley – toronto

this boujee ass bit*h is gay

graffiti alley – toronto

how gay could I get

national coming out day – 2017

What’s up mother truckers! It’s your girl, Mikayla, back at it with another blog post. I hope you enjoyed the first post that commenced the blog. I wish I posted more frequently, but this is just a topic I needed to be fully comfortable with before just throwing it out there for the whole world to read. After this is posted, expect a post minimum once a week.

Today, I thought I would come at you with a real and honest-ass topic. You may have gotten the hidden meaning of this post from the title (thank you Bridesmaids), but if you didn’t, we are talking about COMING OUT! Such a scary topic so close to Halloween. I planned this perfectly. Starting this post, know that I am being 100% real and honest.

Back in the 1800s when I was in grade six, I knew something was a little funky. I “dated” (as in, hugged boys and at recess and after school hugged them and then called him my boyfriend) and it was normal. I had this one friend who was a girl, that I would always hang out with and have sleepovers with and it was so much fun and I just felt something different. We never “experimented” or did anything together, but I knew something was different. I was attracted to her. Then I learned about the concept of being gay, being bisexual, and being straight. And I felt that I was bi, because I knew I was attracted to the boys, but was also attracted to her. I would ask her opinions on the community, and because we were basically children, we weren’t really sure what we were talking about, but I still felt more comfortable with her than with anybody else.

A little later on when I was an older child, I started talking this guy (let’s call him George). This was around grade seven, and I was a cougar apparently because he was a year younger. George and I started to date and this relationship (mind you, it was unhealthy), lasted until the end of my grade nine year. So him and I dated on and off for two years. During this time, the farthest we ever got was making out. I never ever felt a sexual attraction or even a desire to do anything with him, or anyone else for that matter, but I didn’t want to be known as a “prude” or get made fun of, so the most I let us do was make out. I truly suggest you hold on to the edge of your seats for this next line because it is a scary one! During this time of being with George, I told myself I was… wait for it… in love with him. I truly believed that “oh my gosh, this is what love feels like, I am so in love with him, this is me, I am not gay at all”. And I continued to be unhappy but yet think I was in love with him.

George and I eventually broke up for good at the end of my grade nine year and honestly I was happy about it. I didn’t have to force myself to make out with him anymore, I didn’t have to be labelled as “taken”, and I didn’t have to tell myself that I was straight anymore.

I would just like to say, even though I was unhappy during my time with George, it helped create the person I am today. Hell, he was my first, and is now my last ever boyfriend. I wouldn’t be where I was today if it wasn’t for the past. And let me tell you, when you truly fall in love with someone, it is the greatest feeling in the world and you will not feel any doubts about it. Spoiler alert for later: I am totally and completely in love with my girlfriend. I don’t even know how to describe love to someone with words. When you know, you just know. That is the best way to explain it. And I definitely know with her. I am head over heels in love and we are going to be together for the rest of our lives.

ANYWHO

High school actually started for me when I broke up with him, and that is where I knew that “oh hell naw, I am definitely not bi, I for sure like the female species”. I would hang out with a certain girl every so often, (not naming her because you never know who is reading), and we were friends but not too close. Every time we hung out, we would drink and end up kissing and it was just an experience that made me realize that I was truly gay. I may have been under the influence, but I felt differently when I kissed her than when I would kiss George, even though there were absolutely no feelings between me and the girl. Her and I were never a “thing” either. We never dated and never had feelings towards each other. Just experimenting in secret, I guess is what you would call it. Eventually, her and I grew apart and she turned out not to be gay or bi, but I definitely did, and I appreciate the experience because it helped me grow up and realize who I was. Continuing through high school, I never dated anybody (guy or girl), and I also wasn’t out yet. It took me until the end of my high school career to finally come out of the oh so talked about metaphorical closet.

Years passed, but I never said anything or “came out” because I didn’t want to be deemed as different. However, I was very into the LGBTQ+ community, I would always stand up for them, retweet anything to do with the community, talk about it all the time, etc. I knew that I wasn’t “straight” but also knew I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin to come out or talk about it yet.

The first person I came out to was my mother a couple weeks before graduation day. She was so chill about it, so supportive, and so awesome. She also kind of had a feeling because I would lowkey bring it up to her sometimes. I knew she would be because her brother was gay, but it was still a nerve racking experience. My mom has always been and always will be my best friend and I am so beyond thankful for how supportive she was and is because I know other people don’t have that support coming from their mother/father/guardians. Next, I came out to my best friend, who I have known since literal birth, and she was cool about it as well! She has gay and bi friends so it is not an uncommon thing where I come from.

Then, grade twelve graduation day 2017 rolled around. Yo girl tweeted out to the entire universe that I was bi. Yes. I came out as bisexual, even after everything I told you. It was truly a confusing process for me. I still found boys to be attractive and I was never attracted to them, but I still thought that meant that I still “liked” them, along with girls.

It wasn’t until I started talking to a certain someone that I learned that I was not bi. We started talking, and she helped me with the entire coming out process, and I am so thankful she was there for me. Even though everyone I had talked to or interacted with was very supportive, I was still nervous as f*ck (I mean, who wouldn’t be). We ended up going on a date and that my friends, is when I met my soul mate and the love of my life. My first time falling in love, and it will be the last time I fall in love. I knew from that day forward that I was going to marry this girl. But that is a story saved for another day.

Moral of that story is that she made me realize that I was GAY. CAPITAL LETTERS, LESBIAN, GAY, BOOBIE LOVING GAY. Not bi. Just because males are handsome or good looking does not mean that I am attracted to them, nor was I ever. It just took a long time to realize that, and that is A-Okay. I am thankful for all the experiences I have had, they all made me who I am today, and I love who I am.

Even though my story I have been telling is a fairly good one, with not a lot of hatred, there is still that part of it. I come from a very, very religious family and it is just my mom and I who did not follow in that strict path. I knew right from the get go, grade six, that my family (besides my mother) would not approve. And that my friends, is another reason as to what held me back and what kept me from being myself for the 6 years that I knew for sure. To this day, they still do not know and even if they did, they would deny it and not “believe” me if I told them. Which is very sad, because I am their family, you should love them, no matter who they love, or who they are. So even though I may be completely out and open on the internet and to all of my friends, the only person in my family who knows is my mom.

Seeing all the hatred around the LGTBQ+ community is so incredibly sad, so nerve racking, and so hurtful. I am a part of this community and I wish I had the power to help all our community, whether out or not, to be safe and not have this hatred around them, just because we are being who we are. I just want everyone to know, you are loved. No matter the negativity surrounding our community, the people who do not accept us, etc, you are loved. We are who we are, we love who we love, and that is that. We all need to support and love each other, we are all the same no matter what.

I am not quite sure how to truly express myself and how I feel at this moment in my life in words, but I will try my best. I am now in university, in one of the most diverse cities in Canada, Toronto. Ever since I have moved here for university, I have been so much happier. The LGTBQ+ community here is amazing. The two best friends I have made here are gay as well and I just feel so comfortable and so at home. We have an office/safe space in our campus and it is the most amazing thing ever. Everyone comes together and just spreads love. I have never seen so many accepting people, in person, in one place. I don’t know if it was the way I was raised to not put up with shit, but even if they didn’t accept me, ask how many f*cks I give! I feel so happy with myself and who I am and what state of mind I am in. I just want to scream it from the rooftops “IM GAY”. I am just so happy and I honestly could give less shits about what people think! You are not worth my time. I am gay, I am proud, I am in love with my girlfriend, we are going to get married, we are going to have children, and I am f*cking happy and will continue to live my life and be happy no matter how people feel about me and what they have to say. All I have time to say to them is “f*ck you, I’m happy, and I am not going to waste my time on you”.

It was sad growing up being closeted, not feeling safe in my own skin, lying about who I was, and it definitely took a toll on my mentality. But now that I am out and 1000% comfortable with myself and who I am and I am such a big activist for the LGTBQ+ community.

BE GAY, BE PROUD, LOVE YOURSELF, LOVE WHOEVER YOU WANT. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, DON’T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OR SAY.

I am here for you. I am one of you. We are one. I just want you to be happy, be who you want to be, love who you want to love, and do whatever the f*ck you want to do.

Long story short, I hope this gave you some insight to who I am, helped some people out, and made you feel loved. I am always here for you if you ever have any questions. All of my links are at the top of the main page, feel free to contact me. You are never alone.

Until next time, peace and grooviness. – MH

It’s COMING OUT of me Like Lava! What’s up mother truckers! It’s your girl, Mikayla, back at it with another blog post. I hope you enjoyed the first post that commenced the blog.