#also laura get a life

[fazcinatingblog]

why is he leaning in for a kiss

[paperglader]

yes, it’s been three weeks, and yes, I’m still screaming about the fact that Imogen was at her lowest when she met laudna (was thinking of ending it all), and laudna had been roaming aimlessly for thirty years, utterly alone. No purpose, no reason for living, until she met the purple-haired sorcerer that saved her life no questions asked as soon as they first met, then chose to stick together forever, hold on to each other, sleep on the same bed for the next two years and help each other find answers to their miserable existence- and now, NOW that they finally got it together, got some stupid answers, and actually gained some power over the forces that had subdued them for years, KISSED, immediately- literally nine days into their relationship- the shitty world that they live in decided to make it clear and remind them that their days are numbered (significantly smaller numbers than they had accounted for) and that they won’t get to live their quiet life on a field, raise horses and just be. I AM OK ABOUT THAT. TOTALLY FINE.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

Hi hello I watched all of carmilla in a weekend when I was 17 because a student teacher who in retrospect I had a bit of a crush on mentioned that she knew one of the actresses. also I am pretty invested in all your recent vampire stuff because I watched iwtv in 2 days last week because your edit intrigued me

oh hiiii 🫶 thank you for indulging me. thats so cool that you watched iwtv! did it live up to the expectation?

i also watched carmilla at 17! or like, 17-19. i found it when s2 had just started and followed it to the end. did something permanent to my brain but i think it was a good thing. on rewatch now im like, i was right to like this. like it's a solid show, it's good. it has its flaws obviously but it's well written, the emotional moments still get me, i can see why i liked it and i still like it now even when it's not anymore, you know, meeting every need that baby gay me didnt even know they had

what it doesnt reaallyy do though - i dont remember if i posted abt this or if i left it in my drafts but - is explore vampirism as a concept. their subject matter is more lesbianism than vampirism. which is great! thats what they wanted to do and they did it and it's very good. but reading interview with the vampire the book rn im realising how much potential vampires have to be metaphors for like so many things and i started wondering like 'wait, did carmilla just not really engage with it or did it all go over my head'. but it just didnt really engage with it all that much. which again is fine bc that wasnt what they were doing. im glad they were more about the lesbianism than the vampirism

but there's this interesting difference in framing, because in iwtv they keep calling armand 'ancient' right? and emphasising how old he is. and he's like 500? and i was like 'wait isnt carmilla like 400?'. she isnt, shes 340, but still, thats getting there, you know? and we know quite a lot about her history, but kind of just the Big Events. when she was turned, the events of the novella, coffin of blood, silas. thats sort of what we know. but none of the long lonely slog of history day to day you know? with armand i feel like we can really feel how much time everything takes. how every one of those years is made up of single days. with carmilla i dont feel that as much. i keep kind of thinking about daniel, when louis calls him a boy in the first episode, saying "im an old man, with all the triggers that come with it"

because carmilla might look 18 (or mid twenties at this point) but she has lived all that time. shes also seen her native land be claimed by like a succession of ruling powers, right? like armand. shes been buried alive, like louis. when lestat is born, shes already 80 years old, shes lived a whole human lifetime, and the entire adult part of it shes been a vampire. shes lived through 1680-1870 being a lure. i compared her to abigail hobbs in some tags on a post, i dont know if youre familiar with hannibal the tv show, but i do also kinda keep thinking about that comparison

if youre not familiar, in the first episode of hannibal the murderer of the week is this guy garrett jacob hobbs who kills and cannibalises girls who resemble his daughter. and later on it turns out she was made to be his lure. like they'd go places and he'd sent her to the victims to make friends and maybe get them back to their home or smth. not sure if they specified all the details. but that's what carmilla did for mother. and in s2 we hear from mattie that while every couple of decades carmilla had to lure victims for the fish god, she also seemed to just enjoy humans between those times, right? like the doctor, gets lonely, gets a new companion. but we've only sort of got mattie's mocking word for it ("dont eat him, hes a poet! or her, shes got such a wonderful voice. or that one, shes just too pretty to ruin"), we don't know exactly from carmilla's point of view what she was doing or why. if mattie's talking about stuff that happened after the blood coffin, 1950-now, then i think it's a fair assumption based on what carmilla says in the s1 sock puppet show that after she'd figured out what the real situation was and what her role in it was, when she'd started trying to save girls from being sacrificed, that she mightve been doing the same trying to save people from becoming mattie's victims. it's probably more likely that she was just trying to find excuses to stop mattie from sucking someone dry rather than actually having like an aesthetic based morality. but it might be a bit of both. im still trying to figure out what her philosophy actually is, like i dont know what existentialism actually means ghkfjghkj but i will

i also found it pretty striking in the movie when shes turning back into a vampire she says like "this was supposed to be done, you know? the blood lust, the self-loathing, the sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom". thats what defines her vampirism, wanting blood and hating yourself for it (the third part is a joke/reference to s1 but also i think meaningful for how she sees her relationship with laura when she IS a vampire. little bit of that 'she will reject me for my monstrousness' shining through). and thats what defines vampirism for lots of vampires across the genre obviously, but i dont know, it struck me. we dont get a lot from carmilla's pov, we know a fair amount about her, but the story is always told through laura. we get laura's diaries, but just snippets here and there from carmilla, what shes thinking, how shes feeling

and i love that shes a philosopher. i love that thats how she seems to try and find something to hold onto, in a world that kind of moves around her, having been murdered, kidnapped, turned and groomed to be a lure on the cusp of adulthood, never having been properly loved (the relationship with her father wasnt good she says in s3, and her mortal mother i dont think has ever been mentioned (like laura's)). the only good relationship she seems to have had for the better part of 3 centuries seems to have been mattie, and mattie seems to love being a vampire. i can imagine carmilla just sort of going along with anything mattie wants to do just because shes so desperate for that friendship. not like, against her will necessarily really. but more like, she hasnt even had the space to develop her own will, you know? and philosophy lets you do that. philosophy gives you frameworks to understand the world and to develop your own opinions on it. and by the 21st century she seems to have developed those opinions, she has a sense of her own values, but shes also still stuck in that same situation. shes jaded and cynical in the face of laura's optimism and strong moral code a lot of the time in s1 because she feels probably pretty powerless. like she does what she can to save some girls but at the end of the day shes scared of her mother and she has nowhere else to go really, right?

i like how she grapples with that over the course of the series, in tandem with laura grappling with her black and white morality. she sort of jumps ship from her mother to laura bc theyve fallen in love, but then laura still stuck in her hero thinking refuses to see her monstrous side. not literally bc i think the biological vampirism never seemed to be a problem for laura, but morally. the having murdered. carmilla needs laura to see that and love her while seeing it bc the last girl she loved rejected her for being a vampire.

but you see her kind of swing back and forth in s2. she softens first with laura but then they break up and she leans back hard into the sarcastic cynic defense mechanisms, leans hard into "im a monster, dont expect heroism from me". but thats like, it's sort of learned helplessness i think. it's powerlessness, resignation. bc morally shes not a monster. maybe she doesnt have as strong a drive to help other people as laura does and is a little more selfishly hedonistic in that she just wants to enjoy her/their life, but she doesnt hurt people for fun, she never has. she just sort of didnt have another option for a Really long time. so she pretends she doesnt care. "im a vampire, this is what i do, this is who i am". but clearly from the way she talks about it when she turns back into one, she doesnt enjoy it

and i like how she goes even further in s3, where she starts swinging even more to the heroic side, bc she sees hope. shes like "wow if we kill my mother, i'd be free". theres hope and she becomes like a lot more active. and shes like that at the start of the movie too, a lot happier, a lot more relaxed, and then vampirism is back and bam depression gfhgkjh like shes immediately more gloomy, ashamed of her past and her self, retreats into herself

sorry i just took this as an opportunity to dump all the carmilla thoughts floating in my head on you. you didnt ask fhkghgjh consider this an open invitation to you or anyone else to come talk to me about carmilla

[fuckyeahagainstme]

Laura and Dustin experimenting with crowd interaction while playing Those Anarcho Punks are Mysterious at a beach party in 2001. Uploaded by Jim Marshall Original poster unknown

[embraceyourdestiny]

It’s soooo crazy that people truly believe nick’s real feelings are he wants to eat abi 😭 crazy as fuck you hear a guy say “you don’t care about me” and “easy pickings, right off the bone” in the same scene and yet focus on the second half while also conveniently forget he’s turning in to a RAVENOUS WEREWOLF. He’s being taken over by the wolf, who has an insatiable hunger because of the curse bestowed upon humanity after the actions of foolish, greedy humans. He’s the only one to transform in front of their (canon) crush, so it would make sense that the territorial, animal side would highten his uncertain, romantic feelings for abi even more and then become possessive because it doesn’t care about her feelings but nick’s feelings which the curse is amplifying and distorting through its hunger. take two seconds to think about it please. Nick is extremely insecure and was hiding his true feelings (the insecurity). That’s what we are supposed to gather from that scene. He was putting on an act of confidence but he truly believes abi, and based off what he says no one, doesn’t nor has ever cared about him. He thinks he doesn’t measure up. He thinks he has no worth because he doesn’t know his own worth. Nick is a very complicated guy and it’s so disappointing how people give the most surface analysis of him to this day, it’s a huge disservice. Remind me to never be cursed in front of any of y’all lest you think the monster inside me is speaking objective truth and y’all turn on me for it lol 😭

[fictionadventurer]

Current level of Little House nerd: Internally freaking out because Rose wrote a short story based on their time in Florida which means we have filled in the last remaining major gap in the Ingalls-Wilder family fictional timeline.

[dykefever]

okay in fleabag the fourth wall breaks are a metaphor for dissociation yes i will agree with that but i don’t see people talk about how it’s also her performing for an audience - she is using this imagined audience in order to feel seen and heard in a way she isn’t in her real life, a way for her to validate herself through the lens of others and when hot priest calls her out on it it’s because he is actually!!! seeing her!! and when they’re having sex it’s the first time she pushes that audience away and refuses to perform she is present in that real life moment and being seen etc by hot priest. i’d argue that the dissociation goes hand in hand with that performance like she dissociates in order to perform for an imagined audience and also i think that other interpretation of the fourth wall breaks are valid i don’t think there’s one complete and total explanation/answer as to what they mean. much like in real life our coping mechanisms are often used in response to a multitude of situations/traumas and can represent multiple things about our psyche !! anyway just wanted to share my thoughts

[goldiipond]

many lines in tpn dub are delivered in such a way that they are able to take permanent residence in my brain and routinely beat the shit out of me. this is how you know if an anime dub is good

[andy-clutterbuck]

Offending Angels (2000) | requested by @grimgrimygrimes

[lostherlemons]

crazy to think that my time and ability to draw has stagnated so much that i have literally only drawn and posted one thing all year long

[lauraisakilljoy]

obx spoilers ahead!!

I'm so conflicted about the season 4 ending because on one hand I get it. life is unfair, it's unrealistic to give all of your characters happy endings, especially if said characters are constantly putting themselves in danger. it makes sense that not everyone survives four seasons of near-death experiences like being held hostage, getting shot at, almost drowning etc. on the other hand I can't help but be bitter that the person who had been abused/mistreated their entire life and who was clearly suffering was the one who had to die. at the hands of his biological father, may I add. I’ve seen some people say JJ was annoying this season and I get where they’re coming from, but all of his impulsive decisions and everything that happened at/after the town meeting just made me sad. he was struggling so much that he didn’t care what happened to him or if he lived or died. all he wanted was a future where he could live with his friends in their own little paradise without a care in the world. with the money from the crown and shoupe’s promise, it seemed like he was so close to happiness and inner peace, but they didn’t let him have that. so yeah, I get why they did this, but that doesn’t make it less upsetting.

[vulpinesaint]

it's me and all the women in literature described in despondent unhappiness in a marriage that they don't hate but don't enjoy as they should and who feel as if they're not the way a woman should be and who yearn to be free of their husband and children not because they despise them but because they're not for a husband and children and who can't say that they're miserable but who feel a numb kind of despair in all that disconnectedness and disconnectedness and disconnectedness. they are just like me for real

[her-canine-teeth]

it's like they died and there's no going back. theyre gone theyre always gonna be gone and it's terrible and there's a hole with jagged edges that bite and hurt and it cant be filled (but it's better than nothing being there at all. the hurt reminds you that they were alive, that they were there once and you didnt just imagine the comfort and the friendship and everything; they are gone, but at least they were there)

they died, no coming back. but at least they died together. they didnt have to be without the other, didnt have to like feel that special sorta pain that everyone else is feeling rn (whyd u leave me behind. whyd u go alone. )

there's comfort in dying with a loved one

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

villa diodati is so funny actually

"you would just condemn him to death like that?" "we would, if it were at all a good idea but it would also condemn my friends so no <3"

[kashilascorner]

On one hand I'm grateful that Renee L Curtis decided to keep focused and still included, even if only as summaries, information from the rest of the text. On the other hand I'm extremely sad all the juicy bits of Tristan and his gang (Palamedes, Dinadan, Lamorak, etc) are barely there, especially because this is quite surely the most accessible (and it's barely accessible at all) and complete rendition of the prose Tristan in English

[deanpinterester]

watching an older youtuber like laura kampf (who is 40 which isn't That old but older than most internet celebrities) is very comforting because as much i don't want to, i keep feeling like my life is over when i'm only 25 and to see this woman who is out there living her life making stuff and inventing stuff and having a career on youtube and having a girlfriend makes me feel like everything's going to be okay