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atlabeth · 1 month ago

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unadulterated loathing (pt 2)

pt 1 / pt 3

pairing: fiyero tigelaar x fem reader

summary: you are forced to partner with fiyero on a history project. things don't go as you imagine.

a/n: sprinkling anthony bridgerton references in this because wreck my plans that's my man!! anyways this is actually going to be 3 parts because i have zero self control and ended up writing 15k words in total and im trying to see whether i like posting parts or doing one whole one shot more so there's going to be a third part. but for once in my writer life i have the whole thing written so it will be out in a couple days! have no idea how this fic became this long out of nowhere but i hope you all enjoy lol. stressed reader x calm bf will always be famous on this blog

wc: 4.9k

warning(s): almost cheating? fiyero is still w/ galinda for most of this so the line is very blurred but they dont cross it lmao. the slightest bit of angst but basically all fluff

“Isn’t this nice?” Fiyero spread his arms out as you took a seat in the grass. Idly, you wondered about getting grass stains out before he started talking again. “Fresh air, actual sunlight, and things to look at other than words on a page.”

“I do go outside,” you said wryly. “You act like I’m some hermit.”

He shrugged. “I only ever see you in class or at the library.”

“I’m just there most of the time,” you said with a slight laugh. “I’m not this smart by slacking off.”

Fiyero said your name with surprise. “Was that a joke?”

You laughed again. “Hardly.”

“I think it was,” he nodded. “You really are learning how to have fun.”

“I know how to have fun!” you exclaimed. “We just have different ideas of fun!”

“And what is your idea of fun?” Fiyero asked pointedly. “Studying? Attending class? Going through the intricacies of various languages?”

“That last one is very fun,” you defended.

“How did you decide on linguistics anyways?” he asked. “You’re incredibly passionate about something I didn’t even know was a major here.”

“It’s not, technically.” You shrugged. “I’m a history major. I just convinced Doctor Dillamond to let me be his teacher’s assistant so I could include more linguistics lessons in the syllabus.”

“How do you do it?” he asked. “Oz— why do you do it? You’re stressed all the time. Surely taking one less class or not being a TA wouldn’t kill you. All of this seems like it is.”

“I’m not like you, Fiyero,” you said. “I can’t get kicked out of a hundred schools and still be fine. I’ve got one chance, and if I squander it, then I’ve also squandered my dream. And that’s unacceptable to me.”

“There’s always second chances,” he said. “And third ones, too. Sometimes even fourth.”

“Maybe for a prince,” you laughed. “But not for somebody like me.”

“And just who are you?” Fiyero asked as he sat down next to you. “I know you’re Gillikinese and I know you’re probably going to succeed in whatever you attempt. But I still feel like I don’t know anything about who you are without the school uniform.”

“Why does that matter?” you asked defensively. “We’re project partners, not friends.”

“Because I’d very much like us to be friends,” he answered simply.

That might have been the most shocking thing he’d said all day. Fiyero Tigelaar, Winkie prince and self-declared slacker and desired paramour of nearly every Shiz student, said he wanted to be your friend.

Again, that warmth bloomed inside you. You tried to ignore it—tried to fully banish it.

“Don’t do this,” you said, looking away from him.

“Do what?”

“Act like you like me,” you said, stronger this time. “You— you do it with everyone, and that’s fine, but don’t do it with me.”

“I’m not following,” Fiyero said.

You glared at him. “I know you aren’t this daft.”

“Apologies,” he said. “I’m just trying to figure out how you figured I don’t genuinely like you.”

You blinked. “Because you’re you. You flirt with everybody so you can dance through life.”

“Of course,” Fiyero agreed. “It just so happens that I genuinely like you in addition.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Why?”

His laugh was nothing but shocked. “Are you asking me why I like you?”

“Well,” you glanced away with a huff, “when you put it like that it sounds ridiculous.”

“I’ll bite anyways,” Fiyero said. “I like you because you know what you want. You never really stop talking about it, honestly.”

“Are you trying to compliment me?”

“You’re intelligent and driven and you don’t shy away from anything you want,” he continued. “And you thoroughly vex me in near every encounter we have, most joyously.”

“…So you like me because I’m stubborn and confusing,” you said.

Fiyero sighed. “You‘ve got some serious self esteem issues.”

“I do not!” you exclaimed.

“You’ve tied your worth to your academic achievement,” he said. “You can’t see all the good you’ve already done, how smart you truly are, because you only stress about the next thing you need to do. You’d rather lose your mind over what’s to come than realize all you’ve got in the moment.”

Your mouth opened and closed for a good five seconds, like a fish out of water, before it snapped shut.

“I thought you were supposed to be brainless,” you settled on.

“I am,” Fiyero agreed with a chuckle. “But I also know people better than most, and our study sessions have given me ample time to study you.”

Great Oz, why was your face so hot? You felt like you were burning up from the inside out. Fiyero Tigelaar was killing you, and slowly at that.

“Why are you studying me?” you asked pointedly.

“Because you’re interesting,” he said. “And very beautiful.”

“Well, I’m— I’m glad we’ve finally reached a truce.” You tried to sound as casual as possible—you couldn’t let Fiyero know the full effect he was beginning to have on you. You didn’t think he would ever shut up about that, and Galinda certainly wouldn’t either. You didn’t want to make an enemy of her. “It’ll make this project much easier.”

“Yes,” Fiyero mused. “I believe it will.”

Amusement, and maybe something warmer, danced in his irises. A very small part of you wanted to let yourself fall, freely and uncaring, just as every other student did.

You had to lock that part of you away, never to be seen again. You didn’t like Fiyero. He was still a nuisance in every single sense of the word.

You swallowed, trying to cure your cottonmouth. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice.

You needed to finish this essay immediately.

You sighed when you heard a knock on your door. Coralie, for how smart she was, had a habit of forgetting her room key—so much so that you’d stopped bothering to lock the door on the days she went to class before you.

“It’s unlocked, Cora!” you called out. You didn’t want to get up from your desk, not when you were in the middle of writing. You were worried that you would lose the thread of inspiration you’d finally caught the moment you got out of your chair.

“You shouldn’t leave your door unlocked,” a familiar voice said. “All sorts of miscreants could get in.”

Your hand slipped in your shock, but you couldn’t even be annoyed about smearing the fresh ink on the page or getting it on your shirt cuffs because you had more important things to worry about. Namely, your surprise visitor.

“Fiyero?”

“Present,” he affirmed as he leaned against your doorframe. “You’ve got a nice place here.”

“Thank you,” you said. “What are you doing here?”

“Much less pink than Galinda’s,” he continued. “I think it’s the only color she owns, honestly. A bit absurd but—”

“What are you doing here?” you repeated.

“I should be asking you that question,” Fiyero said, eyes narrowing in on you. “I went to the library and you weren’t there.”

You cleared your throat. “I was giving you the day off.”

He frowned and stood up from the doorframe. “Who said I wanted the day off?”

“You,” you said. “When you didn’t show up to Doctor Dillamond’s class today.”

Fiyero brushed his hand through the air. “That’s different.”

You looked at him expectantly. “So you skipped the class this project is for, but you don’t want to skip the actual project.”

“That sounds about right, yes.”

“You don’t even do anything whenever we’re together,” you said. “You just stare at me and complain about doing work and ask me about my life and take an hour to write one page of notes.”

“That also sounds about right,” Fiyero said. “I enjoy your presence. Do you not enjoy mine?”

If only he knew the way he’d been making you feel for the past week. He could never know that he appeared in your dream last night.

��...Your presence is fine,” you said. “I just figured I would give you the day off, seeing as we only have one week left until it’s due.”

“How much have you written already without me?” he asked.

“Five pages, but that—”

“You’ve nearly done half of the project without me?” Fiyero interrupted.

“...Yes?” Why did you actually feel bad about this?

Fiyero got closer so he could look over your shoulder at your work, and you found yourself holding your breath at his proximity.

“Do you think you’re doing me a favor?”

“Clearly,” you said. “The sooner it’s done, the sooner it’s over, and the sooner you don’t have to deal with me anymore.” You shrugged. “You said you wanted to ride my coattails anyways, so I figured I would make it easier for you.”

“Just a few days ago you were chastising me for not doing my part,” Fiyero said. “Now you’re not even letting me try?”

“I—” the words stuck in your throat, and again you felt your face heat.

I don’t want to have to think about any of this more than I have to because I’m worried what I’ll realize.

I don’t want to give you any more chances to take me off course because I know I’ll say yes.

I don’t want to be around you longer than I have to because I think I’m starting to like you.

“Yes?”

“I am doing you a favor,” you finally decided. “You don’t have to worry about it. Go ride that horse of yours, or bother other students, or spend time with Galinda. You’ve earned it.”

“Hardly,” Fiyero said. “I’m doing my part, whether you like it or not. We’ll meet at the library tomorrow morning before class like we’ve been doing.”

“I have class at 8 in the morning tomorrow.”

“...Then we’ll do it after class,” he reneged. “I do need my beauty sleep.”

That got a smile out of you, which spurned one from Fiyero in turn. “I think that is one of the only genuine smiles you’ve given me since we started working together.”

“I smile plenty,” you insisted.

“At your books,” Fiyero said. “Not at me.”

“That’s because my books are oh-so-beautiful,” you said. “And they don’t even need beauty sleep.”

He placed his hand on his heart. “You wound me.”

Your smile grew and you set your pen down. “The library after class?”

Fiyero nodded and tapped on your desk as he stood up. “Library after class.”

He was about to go to the door when Coralie poked her head in. “Why is the door— oh! Fiyero!” She straightened up, plastering on a pretty smile as she stepped inside. “What brings you to our corner of Shiz?”

“Doctor Dillamond’s midterm,” he said. “Your roommate here is trying to save all of the fun for herself.”

“That sounds like her,” Cora nodded sagely. “You’re very good to try and keep her from that fate.”

Fiyero pressed his hand to his chest. “I consider it my duty. But I apologize for the intrusion—I’ll leave the two of you be.”

“Oh, stay as long as you want,” she spoke up. “I’m sure your partner wouldn’t mind.”

“He’s got things to do,” you interceded. “You’ve got things to do, Fiyero.”

He smiled knowingly. “I certainly do. You lovely ladies have a fine rest of your day.” He looked at you and said your name. “Don’t forget tomorrow.”

“How could I?” you said weakly.

Fiyero chuckled and bowed his head in lieu of more parting words. The second he left, Cora turned to you with wide eyes.

“Don’t,” you warned.

“He came here to talk to you!” she exclaimed. “He found out your room number because he wanted to talk to you!”

“Be quiet!” you exclaimed. “The door is still open—he can probably hear your screeching!”

Coralie shut the door and squealed. “He likes you!”

“We are project partners,” you enunciated. “Nothing more.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s what you think,” she said. “Just like I’m sure that he wants to be more.”

“You’re acting like he isn’t with Galinda,” you said. “She controls this whole school—do you remember what happened to Elphaba when she didn’t like her?”

Cora shrugged. “Sure. But I’ve been hearing there’s trouble in paradise.”

That got you paying attention. “What?”

“I knew it!” Coralie exclaimed—nearly yelled, honestly. “I knew you liked him!”

“Be quiet!” you whisper-yelled. “Oz, what is wrong with you?”

“I knew you liked him!” she repeated. “And he likes you— oh, it is too perfect!”

“He does not like me,” you insisted, “and you are crazy.”

“You didn’t say that you didn’t like him,” Coralie sung, and you screwed your eyes shut.

“Fine!” you finally said. “Fine— I like him. Will you stop now?”

“Of course not,” she said, and you sighed. “How bad do you have it?”

“I don’t have it bad,” you scoffed. “I just— I enjoy spending time with him. And I think he’s kind of cute.”

“Oh, you are full on head over heels,” she mused. “You just don’t know it. It’s okay.”

You groaned as you buried your head in your hands. “I hate you.”

She laughed. “And you like Fiyero.”

“Shut up.” Your words were muffled, but you meant them all the same.

You were comically doomed.

The next day went… shockingly smooth.

Fiyero was in the library when he said he’d be—he was even there before you, much to your surprise and he still had the notebook and pen you’d given him, much to his surprise. He made sure to bring an extra canteen of water for you, because he noticed you never had any with you. You were probably concerningly dehydrated.

He tried to be a more attentive student to you than he’d ever been at any of his classes—not that that was difficult. You explained your outline and all the work you’d already done, what he could do on the last five pages and how to make his writing voice match yours to make a consistent paper.

He wrote notes both on what you knew about Ilara Mayfair (a ridiculous amount, in his opinion) and anything else you thought he needed to know (also a ridiculous amount).

He was impressed most of all, though. No wonder you’d isolated yourself from near the entire student body and stressed over every letter in every sentence in every assignment. You were incredibly intelligent, but you were also able to explain everything in a way that even he understood. Fiyero had never really cared about… well, anything relating to school before he ended up partners with you.

But now, Fiyero found himself surprisingly entranced by it all. He’d always liked your voice, and he had a permanent smile on his lips watching you talk so easily about your passions. It put a spark in your eye and a brightness about you that was usually bogged down by everything else that you stressed about.

You were beautiful, especially when you were happy. And Fiyero had discovered over the past week that you were happiest when you got to talk about what you cared about to an interested audience. He only regretted acting like he wasn’t interested for so long.

Finally, when Fiyero called a break on account of his hands aching (he’d never written this much in his life, and it still was only half of what you did basically every day), and you were eating an apple (that he also brought, because you really didn’t take care of yourself when you were doing work, which was always), he smiled at you.

“You know, we really do make a good team,” Fiyero said.

You swallowed the bite of apple you had in your mouth and cocked your head as you looked at him. “You think?”

“I know,” he nodded. “You’ve done the impossible, darling. You’ve actually made me care about school.”

“Well, I think you’ve done the impossible too.” You lifted the apple up. “You made me care about my health during midterms season.”

“It certainly wasn’t easy,” he said wryly. “You kind of took it all kicking and screaming.”

You shrugged. “I’m not top of our class for nothing.”

“Do you have to stress yourself into misery to be top of the class?” he asked.

“I’m not miserable,” you retorted.

It was when you said things like that that Fiyero really began to worry about you. It was part of the reason he was so intent on staying by your side through this whole project—no matter how dull he found the material—after the first session. He sometimes saw you around campus, usually carrying a stack of books or talking with your roommate.

After Fiyero was paired with you, he wondered why he didn’t see you more before it all, considering how active you were with literally everything school-wise. Then he realized you were likely always in the library, and the only time he’d visited the library was on Galinda’s tour. You were there, well enough, but you took your leave as soon as things started getting rowdy.

A shame, he realized. He wondered what your relationship could have been had Galinda not staked her claim on him so soon.

You weren’t going to take care of yourself, clearly enough, so Fiyero decided—at least for the duration of this project—that he would. It didn’t really matter if you were top of the class if you passed out from stress, exhaustion, annoyance, or a mix of all three. Likely a mix of all three.

He didn’t really anticipate those feelings morphing into genuine affection.

“I seem to recall you saying you dream of your future assignments,” Fiyero said, coming out of his thoughts. “That doesn’t sound like the habit of a happy person.”

“Oh, please,” you scoffed. “Everybody has stress dreams.”

“You know, I really don’t think they do,” Fiyero said.

You rolled your eyes as you picked your pen up with your free hand and jotted down a few more sentences. “Sure.”

“On that note,” he said, “why don’t we call it a day?”

“We can’t call it a day,” you said. You took another bite from your apple and swallowed, continuing to write all the while without looking at him. “We’re not finished yet.”

“That is the most casually you’ve said that so far,” Fiyero mused. “I really am making progress.”

You laughed, finally paying him mind. “Progress with what?”

“I’ve been tracking your smiles and laughs this whole time,” he said. “See, this essay was your project, but that was mine—trying to make you enjoy your life.”

“This essay is both of our projects, Fiyero,” you said. “Besides, I don’t think Doctor Dillamond will accept your bar graph of all the times I laughed at you making a fool of yourself.” You frowned. “Or would it be a line graph because it’s over time? Or maybe it could be—”

“Alright,” he interrupted. “You’re going into hypotheticals on my joke. That’s clearly the sign that we need to call it a day.”

“…Fine,” you reneged. “But it’s just a break, not calling it a day. And I get to finish proofreading the rest of the essay when we get back.”

“A compromise,” Fiyero said. “Love it.”

You rolled your eyes as you started gathering your things. “You love everything.”

“Eh,” he tilted his head, and you felt his eyes on you. “Most things.”

You couldn’t help your smile, much as you tried to bite it back. “Whatever.”

Soon enough, you and Fiyero were sitting together by the dock. You let your legs dangle over as you watched the scenery around campus—the ripple of the water, the gentle brush of the wind, the chirping birds that flew around without a care.

“Isn’t this nice?” Fiyero asked. He also had his legs over the edge, but he’d laid down against the stone.

“You don’t have to push your relaxation propaganda so hard anymore,” you said wryly. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

“And I’m grateful for it,” he said. “Someone that works as hard as you do deserves to relax the same amount.”

“We’ve gone over this a thousand times—”

“I know,” he interrupted. He turned his head to smile at you. “I just have to hope that some of it sticks.”

You rolled your eyes, once again unable to hide your smile. “And I have to hope for the same with this paper. Do you think you’ll remember any of this once we turn it in?”

“Oh, but of course. You were the one to teach it to me, after all. I could hardly forget it all.”

“Good,” you said. “Everyone should know about Ilara Mayfair.”

Fiyero chuckled, and you once again fell into comfortable silence.

That was the thing that shocked you the most, you think. Not that you were beginning to like Fiyero, or that you actually liked Fiyero, or that you actually looked forward to spending time with him. It was that you were so comfortable just sitting with him in silence.

It was very difficult to get to the silence, though. Fiyero couldn’t really stay quiet, and you didn’t know if he liked talking or the sound of his own voice. But you found it didn’t really annoy you like it used to.

Great Oz. You really were into him. How embarrassing.

Eventually, when the strain in your wrists and fingers from writing had finally faded, you turned your head to look at Fiyero. “I think it’s time we go back.”

He sighed. “Already?”

“It’s been fifteen minutes,” you said. “Far longer than the breaks I usually take.”

He opened his mouth, likely to say something of the same ‘you need to relax’ ilk, but you held up your hand. “Don’t. Just be thankful you got me away for this long.”

Fiyero smiled, and he pulled himself up off the ground. “I always am.”

He held his hand out, and you stared at him for a moment. “Why do you always do that?”

“Help you up?”

You nodded. “I can do it myself.”

He shrugged. “I told you it was my project to make your life easier.”

“You said it was your project to track my happiness,” you said.

“And they go hand in hand,” he said. “I’m surprised you remember.”

“It happened thirty minutes ago, Fiyero,” you said wryly. “Besides, I remember everything. It’s a gift.”

Fiyero laughed, and you finally took his hand. He pulled you up and once again, you tumbled a bit too close—and again, his hand fell to your waist. He had to be doing this on purpose by now.

“We keep finding ourselves in this position,” Fiyero mused.

Heat flooded your cheeks like usual. “And whose fault is that?”

“Well,” he said, tilting his head, “you’re not exactly pulling away.”

Your mouth opened, trying to think of what words to say when your head was reeling from his mere presence. But then you saw a flash of pink in the background, and your eyes darted away from Fiyero.

Galinda. She was distracted, talking with Pfannee and Shenshen as she went down the stairs. Oz, how did she slip your mind so easily whenever Fiyero was in your proximity? Why did you let him get this close when he was spoken for?

You panicked—nothing less. You tore out of Fiyero’s grasp with a bit too much gumption, and then you stumbled, then you slipped, and then you fell. Fiyero called your name in shock, reaching his hand out, but it was too late. You’d plunged into the water before you could save yourself.

The cold water instantly shocked all your senses, your eyes widening as you gasped out on instinct. Your mouth filled with water and your muscles seized up from the change in temperature—it was so much deeper than you’d imagined, and all your layers of clothing weighing you down were of no use.

You tried your damnedest to ignore the alarm bells going off in your head as you fought against yourself, finally gathering the sense to swim. You kicked your way up to the top, gasping for air once when you breached the surface.

You heard Fiyero yell your name again and you blinked rapidly, trying to clear the water from your eyes. When everything finally came into focus, you saw him on his knees, his coat shed and his sleeves rolled up.

His eyes were wide as he reached his hand out, once again saying your name—this time with a certain desperation. “Are you alright?”

You tried to respond but all you could do was cough, trying to expel the water from your lungs. You took his hand and he helped pull you up onto the dock, where an exhale shuddered out of you.

“I— I am so sorry,” he stammered. It was the first time you’d ever seen him flustered, and you were too busy hacking up a lung to point it out. “Obviously I didn’t think—”

You held up your hand in lieu of saying something, as you didn’t think you could say something.

This was so stupid, and it was something that never would have happened before you and Fiyero started working together. Your paper was due in two days, you’d only just finished the draft, you still had so much proofreading and rewriting to do, and instead, you were here on the docks soaked to the bone.

And you found yourself laughing.

“Oh, Oz,” Fiyero said. “You’ve lost it.”

You couldn’t refute it, because you kept laughing. You could feel the eyes of your classmates on you, could hear them whispering to each other—likely making fun of you—and it only made you laugh harder.

“Are—” Fiyero chuckled nervously as he said your name, “are you okay?”

“I’m soaked,” you got out through your laughs. “And everyone saw me fall into the water. I’m a fool, Fiyero!”

He was still staring at you in that careful way, as if you were made of glass. “I can’t tell if you’re mad or not.”

“Oh, Fiyero.” You wiped the trailing water off of your face and wrapped your arms around him. You felt him freeze beneath you for the slightest moment—it had to have been the last thing he expected you to do. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Fiyero returned the hug, his movements still unsure. He didn’t seem to care that you were getting him wet, just about your wellbeing. “What— what for, exactly?”

For a moment, you couldn’t look away. His blue eyes were meant to enrapture, his soft lips typically an invitation sealed with a smirk. But for once, Fiyero looked genuine—he wasn’t putting on a performance, or trying to seduce anyone who looked at him. He was genuinely sorry, genuinely confused. It only made you laugh again.

“What for, indeed.” A higher voice pierced through the air, and you separated from Fiyero immediately. Galinda, to no surprise, had found her way over to the chaos you’d created, her compatriots flanking her on either side. She smiled at you brightly, but her whole demeanor was like a violin string pulled taut.

“Galinda,” Fiyero said. “Lovely to see you.” He didn’t seem half as shocked as you at her appearance, but his words fell flat.

“And you as well, dearest.” Her smile turned sickly sweet as she shifted her attention to Fiyero momentarily, taking the opportunity to lace her fingers with his and pull him into a kiss. He pulled away first, but if it affected Galinda, she didn’t let it show when she looked back at you. She batted her eyelashes as she said your name incorrectly. “What was it you were saying?”

The sudden combination of cottonmouth and sour guilt creeping up your throat didn’t really help your already flustered state. She knew what she was doing—but you did too, didn’t you?

She was with Fiyero. You knew that. And though Fiyero danced across the line, you took his hand every time he offered.

“I—” you cleared your throat, attempting a casual smile of your own. “Just that I know why Doctor Dillamond put us together.”

“Excellent,” Fiyero said. “Off-topic, but excellent— are you sure you didn’t hit your head down there?”

“Perhaps you should go to the nurse,” Galinda said. “I’m sure Shenshen could—”

“I’ll be fine,” you interrupted, your smile tightening ever so slightly. You looked at Fiyero. “Meet me at the library tonight, and bring coffee. We’re finishing this project tonight.

“Of course,” he nodded.

You nodded as well, and you started to go. Galinda’s gaze was sugary sweet poison, and you couldn’t take the weight of it anymore.

“Wait,” Fiyero spoke up.

You stopped against your better judgment, and he let go of Galinda’s hand to take his jacket off. He moved closer to you and wrapped it around you. His touch, light but certain, lingered on your shoulders once he’d finished adjusting it, and his gaze stayed on yours

“Until you can change,” he said.

“...Thank you,” you said.

Galinda cleared her throat extremely loudly, her taut smile back. You remembered yourself and stepped away from Fiyero.

“I’ll see you tonight,” you said, already starting on your way. You wouldn’t let him stop you again.

“Tonight,” he agreed, bowing his head in parting.

You only glanced back once you were by the stairs. When you did, you saw Galinda speaking rapidly to Fiyero—you were too far away to hear anything, but she didn’t look happy. When your gaze drifted to him, you found he was already looking at you. Almost subconsciously, you tugged his jacket tighter around you. When you realized what you were doing, you stopped. You averted your eyes immediately and hurried up the stairs.

You weren’t out of breath from exertion.

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rosesnbooks · 6 months ago

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Astrology observations #5🖤

🌜I wrote these for fun, based on how i see these placements. i'm not a professional! hope you enjoy these🌛

⭐cancer placements allow themselves to feel their emotions. they may get annoyed by the intensity or the amount of them, but they process them fully, and this makes it easier for them to move on. random thought but writing letters to people they like may be something they do or did as kids haha. they're very romantic

⭐some aries venuses have obsessive tendencies when they have a crush, and they get frustrated a lot if they think they can't/shouldn't pursue them. they enjoy the tension, but they don't want it to last too long because they dislike not being in control, and having feelings for someone leaves them feeling too vulnerable. that's why they try to move on if they can, but it takes work. when they do find someone, they become really clingy but they still need freedom when it suits them

⭐mars in libra avoid conflicts and try to be reasonable about everything, but if they think you crossed a line, you'll see why aries is their sister sign pretty soon. once they tell you off, you'll never see them the same way, so underrestimate them at your cost

⭐having stelliums can be interesting. it for sure puts a lot of emphasis on the influence of that house on your life, and i found that it can be both positive and negative since they face lots of challenges related to their house but also many blessings. those who have stelliums kind of embody multiple characteristics simultaneously

⭐sun in the 11th people glow when they are with their closest friends. they also tend to dream big and care a lot about the world. their friends usually help them in their future goals. they feel a bit different than people in their hometown/country, mostly because they cannot be tied down to a single culture because they enjoy different things, which usually makes them quite open-minded and tolerant. they can be picky about the people they let in super close though

⭐mars in the 6th can procrastinate a lot actually, but they get things done. may get sudden waves of high energy and get things done rapidly and extensively. they expect a lot from themselves regarding their ambitions and aspirations. they try to improve themselves in any way most of the time, but they should also accept their current state if they want to evolve and love themselves. they need to watch out for their moral perfectionism too. it's okay to make mistakes as long as you apologise and strive to change for the better

⭐i've found that virgo mercuries can be really direct, even if they are shy or don't talk much around strangers or acquaintances, they have their moments. super funny too

⭐north node in cancer struggle with accepting their vulnerable side. they hate feeling like things and people can evoke strong emotions in them. they want to be more detached, but those that work on themselves find it very rewarding once they embrace their strong emotions. they can also be really reliable, practical, and thoughtful

⭐fire+water combinations in birth charts-i am sending you a hug. i know exactly how difficult it is to keep all those emotions under check, and that you need a lot of understanding and rest to function. use those emotions and passions well hun, you are strong and capable. you have a lot of empathy and wonder inside of you

⭐capricorn sun/mercury have a dry way of texting. their humor is difficult to read via text and they simply are not fans of texting, and it shows lol

⭐aries mercuries are not always available online and they may come and go when they're online, but they'll answer all of your messages one by one with lots of enthusiasm. they also like to send memes and joke around a lot

⭐virgo mercuries are not fans of texting and they can answer you after a couple of days or so even if they really like you. similarly to aries, they'll make sure they answer everything and they also pay attention to every detail you mention. very sweet really. their humor shines brighter in person

⭐taurus moon are very capable. they may prefer rest over anything else, but their patience and dedication to the things they need to do is really cool. they are calm most of the time so it's nice to be around them, just don't disrespect them and everyone will thrive

⭐taurus venus men can be really possessive. even if you like such behavior, some can go to extremes and try to control how you feel, think, and behave. they have a specific image of an ideal partner and they want you to fulfill it

⭐libra venus tend to care about how they look and present themselves so they put lots of effort into that. they also have standards when it comes to beauty and some expect others to dress and look well, whether they know them or not

⭐women with venus in aquarius-you may be attracted to men who are mysterious and act like they're special. just be careful because there are so many toxic ones out there who want a relationship but not truly, because they don't want to dedicate themselves to you and maybe plan on using you

⭐pisces moon can feel like they're drowning in their own emotions sometimes because they cannot control them easily and they tend to give in. if they like to portray themselves as a martyr these emotions can get out of hand because they let those emotions lead them which influences their mental health and relationships. those who are developed process these emotions and try to figure them out and let them pass. they can learn a lot about themselves and others this way. creative outlets can be of help to process this

⭐leo moon need to watch out for hurting people when their ego is hurt because they can lash out and make lots of damage. take a second to think whether it's worth it or not, since there is no point in trying to "win" in a fight with someone you love

⭐pisces mars can be too forgiving, especially to those they care about. don't let people walk over you dear, no matter who they are. nobody deserves that kind of treatment

thank you for reading!🤍i also offer paid astrology readings, so check out my blog for more info

©rosesnbooks

#astrology #astrology observations #astro observations #dividers credit goes to cafekitsune #rosesnbooks #photos from pinterest by yuya and R41N #this one feels more personal than others perhaps so i hope i won't insult anyone #i just like my observations to be more nuanced. i usually look at the positive sides so this one is a bit darker. hope you don't mind

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chevelleneech · 28 days ago

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As much as I talk about Chanlix and Jikook, and often use “possibly” or “if”, I’d like to go on record saying, Minsung is 100% real, lol.

Minho and Jisung have been together for years, they’ve confirmed it as much as I think we’ll ever see, and so have the rest of Stray Kids. I genuinely can’t think of any other way for two closeted people to prove they’re in a relationship, whilst working together in the same pop group based in a homophobic country.

They tell us about how often they go on dates, they talk about being fated/destined to be in each other’s life, they have spoken about being each other’s comfort and peace, they flirt nonstop, and the other members have openly discussed how coupled up they are, both seriously and jokingly. Even the two of them have blatantly used “boyfriend” for one another numerous times.

And trust me, I get it. Them not coming out with the words, “Neither of us are straight and are in an official committed relationship with each other.” leaves room for doubt, but at the same time… they have said they’re together. The other members have said they’ve got a thing going on. How much more out can they get without telling us their sexualities? Which isn’t a determining factor to any relationship in the first place.

I don’t know. I’m just saying, I don’t think any ship I’ve ever looked at has felt as undoubtedly real as Minsung. Real to the point where shipping them in the usual sense isn’t fun, because they’re not a ship. They seem like two people genuinely in a relationship, and they go about their days like two people in a relationship. I think the only reason at all that anyone (myself included in a way) holds space for doubt, is because they haven’t “come out” in the traditional way. No one can say for a fact either of them are queer, because we’re all used to same sex pop stars not confirming anything, particularly those who date people they work with, so it makes it easier to assume they’re just joking around. But again, Minho and Jisung aren’t saying they’re not a couple.

They’ve actually been saying the opposite for years, but they also laugh about it and don’t kiss on camera. Which makes complete sense, and the refusal to accept the context of their lives is why I think anyone who says they’re just friends is kind of more delusional than people who ship them. Because the label of their sexualities is truthfully the last line for them to cross, which they likely never will, and expecting them to is crazy.

Choosing to believe two people can’t be dating simply because they 1) are of the same sex and 2) are in the same music group, is indeed ridiculous. They’d just be queer coworkers who decided to date, and like… yeah. I honestly don’t see anything else that makes sense for their own explanations of their relationship, other than them being a couple.

#Minsung #lee minho stray kids #han jisung

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bluebblurry · 1 month ago

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Okay okay so the victor naming scheme with like celestial bodies (I like to think this is what the Watchers call them) is really really cool to me so i was trying to come up with more for the potential winners

(I decided I’m going to go through all of them while i wait for grian to poST HIS FUCKING VIDEO so please bare with me lmao)

Grian is the Sun, of course. It’s his series, not to mention he shares a name with the Irish goddess of the sun. Mumbo can’t win bc he’s out but like if he ever does win, i think he should also be the Sun like Grian, because they canonically share a soul (at least in hermitcraft). He could also be Icarus as a tribute :3

Scott is the Stars. Why? I dunno, fandom consensus lmao. I don’t personally keep up with his pov because he and grian don’t really cross paths much (i mostly only watch grian, mumbo, and scar 😭). He also had that little crown in Last Life that looked like stars so

Pearl is the Moon, firstly, because she is PearlescentMoon, but also because she had a strong connection with the wolves (Werewolf!Pearl my beloved). It also completes the trio lol

Now here’s where we get into the people that don’t necessarily have an agreed upon title, starting with Martyn. To me, he is Mars. The Roman god of war is a contributor to that, but he also just has the vibes (it also rhymes with Stars but atdhdbjd). Similar to Mumbo, Ren could also be Mars if he won bc his soul is shared with Martyn now (i think??). If not, then maybe Jupiter, like the king of gods, and the red dot can be Red Winter.

Scar is the Earth. He had an earthy color palette for most of the season, but that’s not the only reason. He is alone. The Earth is alone in the universe when it comes to life (as far as we know).

Now, i’ve seen Cleo as Mercury and as Venus, and I love both of those. Venus is the Roman goddess of love and beauty, and I think that’s very fun for Cleo. Mercury also is kind of just her vibe. However! I thought of Pluto, at first as a joke, because Cleo “technically doesn’t count”. But i decided it fits because Pluto is the Roman god of the Underworld, and Cleo is a zombie! :D

Okay now i’m making some up for fun for potential future winners 💀

Jimmy could be a Comet! Somehow it’s similar to a canary to me, i dunno it just makes sense lmao. If Tim ever won, it would be like he’s hurtling toward the finish line like a big flaming ball, so it’s funny. I don’t have the words to explain the symbolism i want to get across, but it’s there i promise

Lizzie could be The Void, one because ShadowLady, and two because she died to the void in Secret Life. I know it’s not exactly a celestial body, but it can apply to the dark matter of space :)

Etho could be Saturn, purely just for color and vibes. Alternately he could be Jupiter and the red storm can be like Etho’s red eye!

Joel is Uranus. Just cause it’s funny.

Gem could be the constellation Gemini. I know it doesn’t exactly count as a celestial body, and Scott is already the Stars, but i don’t care lol

A potential one for Tango is Mercury. His blue fire form could represent Mercury’s retrograde.

Big B would probably be Neptune, for his sweater, or! Venus because of his recent Creaking stuff.

Unfortunately i don��t really have one for Bdubs, so if y’all have suggestions let me know! Maybe like, the Horsehead Nebula?

I’d like for Impulse and Skizz to be intertwined somehow, something like Alpha Centauri, which are two stars that orbit each other.

Tell me if you have suggestions! I might also be using some of these for my pirate au…. 🤫

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danikamariewrites · 1 year ago

Note

Also I thought of a Liam or Xaden idea but maybe one of them falling for a Healer?

Always Injured

Liam Mairi x reader

A/n: since we don’t fully know a lot of the medical stuff in FW I just kinda made some stuff up lol

Warnings: mentions of injuries, fluff

For the third time this week Xaden was escorting Liam to the infirmary. He rolled his eyes at the blondes wide grin. “You’ve never been so…reckless before. What’s going one?”

Liam shook his head, keeping his eyes on the swinging double doors as they got closer and closer. “Nothing. Challenges have been so tough, right?” Xaden gives him a quizzical look, not believing Liam is having a hard time getting through obstacle courses.

He shoulders open the door while supporting Liam, walking him over to the closest bed. Liam lays back looking around the room for you. His eyes find you listening to your teacher intently as he tends to a ill-looking scribe.

“Ok brother, you are free to go.” Xaden follows Liam’s line of sight. Xaden let’s out a long oh and sends Liam a shut eating grin. He knew there would be teasing later but he didn’t care.

“Get better soon.” Xaden says in a light teasing tone as he exits the infirmary.

You saw Xaden bring Liam in. You wanted to go right over to him but you knew your professor would chastise you for leaving a working-lesson. So you stayed with the sick scribe. She just needed cold medicine but learning all kind of symptoms is important.

Once you professor dismissed you to check on other patients you headed straight to Liam’s bed. You gave him a small smile as he held his left wrist out for you to take his pulse.

By now he knew the routine. Liam had been in here practically every other day. “Should you really be a rider? The amount of injuries you get I might as well tie pillows around you.” You joke with him.

Liam let’s out a small laugh as your hands kept checking different parts of his body. When you pressed on his side he winced.

Pulling up his shirt revealed a nasty bruise on his ribs. Grabbing a salve from a nearby cart you scoop out some paste, warming it between your fingers before spreading it on his skin.

“That should help with the pain.” You say quietly. Over Liam’s many trips/stays in the infirmary you grew to deeply care for him. He’s a sweet guy and was always interested in whatever you had to say.

“Thank you,” he groaned out pulling his shirt back down. “That one looks bad Liam. You need to be more careful. I’d hate to see you truly injured.” You say gravely, crossing your arms.

Liam reaches out to pull your hand into his. He gives it a light squeeze and give you a boyish grin. “Don’t worry about me sweets. I’ll be just fine.” You roll your eyes at him. “Yeah, well your visits say something different.”

You give his hand one last squeeze before turning to walk away. Liam holds on tighter, slightly pulling you back to the edge of the bed. “Wait, please don’t go yet?”

Plopping yourself on the edge of his bed you narrow your eyes at him. Giving him a knowing smirk like you just figured out his secret. “Not all your injuries have been real.” You say matter of factly.

Liam’s face turns crimson and he looks down avoiding your gaze. “Well, uhh not all of them. Maybe like a headache or two.” He mumbles.

“Any reason?” You tease, poking at his thigh. You desperately wanted to say he has a crush on you too. If he does you would much rather spend time with him outside of this room.

He looks up at you, suddenly shy like he’s speaking to you about a very awkward medical matter. “I keep coming back for you. You’re amazing and I didn’t know how to talk to you, but now I do and I want to get to know you more outside of here.”

You grasp Liam’s hand in yours, taking him by surprise. “I do too Li.” His eyes go wide with joy. “Meet me tonight? At the Bell Tower?” You nod enthusiastically.

He lets out a sigh of relief as you stand. “I have to check in other patients.” You say quietly. Liam nods giving you that boyish grin again. “I’ll see you tonight.”

#liam fourth wing #fourth wing fanfic #fourth wing #fourth wing x reader #fourth wing liam #fourth wing x you #liam fourth wing x reader #liam mairi imagine #liam mairi x fem!reader #liam mairi x you #liam mairi fourth wing #liam mairi x reader #liam mairi

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delta-lethonomia · 25 days ago

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I would give so much to have just one normal, everyday conversation I could reference between Cazador and the spawn.

(More Caz thoughts under the cut 😮‍💨 scapegoat & golden child implications)

I feel like there has to have been some interaction beside "yes master/no master" etc because clearly he took the time to tell the other spawn about the Black Mass, and they believed him. Act 1 Astarion mentions how Cazador "gives hope til the last moment" which implies there were moments where he had hope until he'd been burned one too many times. Plus, all of Caz's lines about the type of person Astarion is, his terrible jokes and how it's punishment enough having known him for 200 years... it's a brutal zinger that has to come from personal experience. It wouldn't be funny if you didn't feel the weight of how long those two have known one another.

Considering Caz' obsession with Astarion and how Astarion seems to get the worst torture of his siblings, I see him more and more as the scapegoat in a toxic family. I wonder if there were moments of levity, where Cazador did invite discussion or talk from his spawn, giving the impression that there was some loosening of restrictions, or just enough where making a joke in hopes of amusing him would seem like a good idea - only to backfire horribly, with Astarion held to an impossible standard he couldn't predict while his siblings get away with worse transgressions. They all think the worst of him.

Petras genuinely believes Cazador will set him free, that all the torture he endured was somehow worth it and will lead to his freedom. Petras is also an idiot, but even idiots learn unthinking resentment and hate if beaten long enough. We know Petras at least gets to eat dogs sometimes, which... aren't allowed in Baldur's Gate.... (does Caz smuggle them in?? Does Dufay need to source some dogs for the spawn Christmas presents, while Astarion gets rats every year? Does Caz just tell him "oh go get yourself something nice next time you're out and about?" Do they go to Wyrm's Crossing together sometimes as a fun bonding activity, like when your father hits you one day but takes you out to ice cream the next????)

Astarion just seems so much more jaded and angry than the other spawn. A lot of that does come down to being the one who got away, who had it the worst and now feels bad about not being the lightning rod that unintentionally protects the others, who can now see just how fucked up everything was now that he's had space to think - while the other spawn are still in the thick of it, and probably aren't investing any thought at all into if Cazador is being truthful or not. There's no point. Whatever happens, happens.

I just have this nagging feeling that there has to be some positivity sometimes. If it was all awful, all the time, there comes a point where you stop working for it. There needs to be a moment of affection, the idea that things could be better all the time if you just did this one little thing better - going back to the ice cream example (lol), I wonder if Caz takes different spawn to do different things. Maybe Yousen's really good at Chess. Maybe he and Petras go bowling

Ok ridiculous example (Cazador clearly does not leave the house - but maybe he does, as Astarion feels the need to ask Dalyria where he is in Act 3? So maybe he does leave sometimes....) but the scapegoat/golden child dichotomy means there must be some positivity, some perks for the golden children. Petras gets better snacks, Leon works hard for the fancy room and gets to keep his daughter alive - maybe that's all there is, but I need to know how they all interact. Cazador has human servants, he's got Chamberlain Dufay and deals with the werewolves and clearly everyone's terrified of him and expects the worst - the rumors are nasty enough that Gale has heard of him - but he keeps a journal about the tortures he inflicts on his spawn. That feels, to me, like keeping score, doing enough to keep them terrified and busy but not so much that they give up all will to live in pure dedication of murdering him. Hence, like an abusive parent you still somehow love (and hey, it could be a lot worse, look at your brother after all as an example on what not to be) - there must be some positivity to hold on to.

Just enough that everyone besides Astarion believes him when he says he will set them free, enough that you need to pass a persuasion check, but also little enough that there's no real loyalty.

So yeah, maybe Cazador and Petras go on trips to Wyrm's Crossing together so he can get a dog to snack on. Idk man 🤷‍♀️ It's a lot more likely that Caz just says something awful about Astarion and lets them all rag on him for his amusement for a few moments here and there, and that moment of levity is enough to inspire some feelings of normalcy, but tbh I have zero clue what Cazador does all day and I'm obsessed with terrible slice-of-life scenarios.

#cazador szarr #bg3 cazador #pale petras #Astarion #bg3 thoughts #delta.txt

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flippinpancakes64 · 6 months ago

Note

the cullens with a vampire hunter reader that will NOT harm the Cullens?

The Cullens with a Vampire Hunter! Reader

Writing this as I’m waiting for food at the Texas Roadhouse lol

Also I watched Longlegs today talk about a weird ass movie. It was good though, I would recommend it if you're into weird horror.

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

He doesn’t trust you at first

Instantly, he knows what you are

He can hear your thoughts and how you intend to harm vampires

He warns the family about you

You had heard about a family of vampires who didn’t harm people, but you didn’t believe it

You were convinced that it had to all be an elaborate lie

But when you see one of them in public, it's instantly obvious

The golden eyes, the calm demeanor, etc.

He takes a while to warm up to you, he still doesn't trust you entirely

But when some opposing vampires come into the area and you fight with the Cullens, he stands corrected

He helps you fight other vampires lol

He doesn't like them either

He follows you all around the world to go hunting

He loves it

Alice:

She sees you coming in a vision

She sees you holding a vampire's head as they wither away into smoke

And then she sees a flash of you crossing the line into whatever town they are in

She warns everyone that you are coming

And when you arrive, you almost get into a battle

But then you see that the Cullens are different

In the moment that you hesitate and choose not to attack, Alice gets a flash of the two of you together in the future

She declares that you're not a threat

She trusts you fully from the beginning

She gets a bit wary just because she's worried that if Jasper slips at all that you might attack him

Just reassure her that you won't <3

Jasper:

You had been tailing him for a while through the college campus

He didn't know who you were or what you wanted

All you knew was that he was far too beautiful and graceful to be human

But one day you sat next to him in the cafeteria and you saw his newly golden eyes from him having just fed yesterday

He could feel the shock from you

When he turned to fully look at you it was like he could feel the connection

After you two talk for a while, he learns that you're a vampire hunter

He gets a bit nervous after that

I feel like he's probably run into some trouble with hunters before

So yeah he's a bit scared

He takes a while to warm up to you

But after you reassure him multiple times that you are not a threat to him or his family, he relaxes

He also tells you about all of his troubles with cravings

He feels so much better that you're so patient with him

Rosalie:

Yeah she doesn't trust you at all

She's already not a huge fan of humans

But someone who poses a threat to her family who she will never admit that she cares about? Yeah no

She will be the last one to warm up to you guaranteed

And it will take a while

She needs to be 100% certain that you aren't gonna hurt them

I feel like it would take one last big push for her to really start trusting you

Like an attack from a rogue vampire that you help fight

That will kick into her mind that you really do care and mean no harm

After that she hangs out with you a bit more

But don't expect too much

At least not a first

Just give her time, she'll come around

Emmett:

He's one of the quickest to trust you

I feel like after a couple of days of you not trying to kill them he's like "good enough for me"

He's just really curious about how you do it

I mean, it takes him a bit of force to kill a vampire, so how does a human do it

He wants to go hunting with you

He just thinks it's fun

Every once in a while, it's very rewarding to pick on someone your own size

He would make jokes about your profession if you ever say he's annoying you

"Emmett. Stop tapping my head, I'm busy"

"Or what? You gonna kill me?"

And then he acts shocked when you hit him on the head

Esme:

She's very worried

The last thing she wants is danger to come to her family

But at her core she is a loving and accepting person

So it doesn't take her long to warm up to you

She is still pretty wary around you, she doesn't truly know what to expect after all

But having you around is a pretty big comfort to her

Just knowing that there's one more person who's able to defend each other should the need arise

She is also very curious about what exactly it is that you do, but she does not want to be a part of that

Not her cup of tea

Carlisle:

Another one who has encountered vampire hunters before

Only, the last ones he interacted with didn't care that he didn't hurt humans, they just wanted him dead

So it's a very pleasant surprise when you don't instantly try to kill him

You explain that you heard rumors of a big vampire clan that was completely docile and you needed to see it for yourself

He's very curious to hear about all of your adventures

But he's also not going to go hunting with you

He has other things to do

He does trust you pretty early on, though

His thought process is that if you wanted to try to kill them then you would have done it already

And Edward or Alice would have told him something's up

Vampire! Bella:

She's pretty extreme

When you first show up and reveal what you are, she is ready to attack no questions asked

But as soon as Edward and Alice confirm that you're not a threat, she is instantly your bestie

In like a casual way though

She's so curious, she wants to know everything

She becomes attached at the hip for a while

And yes she does want to go kick some vampire ass with you

She's so down

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hanlimz · 1 year ago

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lol i wrote this at 2am bc i love jungwon sm and i needed to word vomit so i can focus on this stupid essay i have to write 💔 be gentle w this bc it’s not that good haha !! pls enjoy ❤️

the incessant ringing of your phone is a cacophony of sound pressed against your ear as you wait with bated breath. it’s been a week since jungwon was last able to call, a week since you were able to hear his voice; and, it’s been even longer since you’ve been able to touch him (in any capacity). your palms are itching for the opportunity to cup his face, and your lips are yearning to pepper gentle kisses over the apples of his rounded cheeks.

so, you picked up your phone and clicked on his silly contact photo. while you wait, you count the ceiling tiles. you see how long you can go without blinking. you lose track of time, and you eventually try to freestyle over the stock ringtone. just as you rhyme sublime with you’re mine, the noise stops and jungwon begins to laugh. why he always manages catches you at your worst—you will never know.

“i hope that rap was about me,” he snorts airily, amusement having stolen his breath away. you can almost see his pretty face through the phone; the way the corners of his lips quirk up, his dimple deepening, the gentle reshaping of his eyes as they wane into two, umber crescents. laughter is so transformative, and you’re glad you can see it (even if only in your mind). “oh, [y/n], also—i just posted some selcas on we—” the phone cuts out, and the momentary silence slices at your heart.

“won? you still there?” you ask, tentatively, “i promise the rap was about you. cross my heart, hope to die.”

jungwon’s pseudo-presence floods your chest once more as he chuckles. “that’s good to know, babe—but, no dying on my watch, ‘kay?”

“bold of you to say when you’ve left me here,” you scoff.

“to die?” he inquires, another bout of giggles hiding behind his words.

“to die,” you answer, dramatically. “to wither, to waste away with no boyfriend to sing me to sleep and kiss me when i’m sad.”

the line goes quiet for a few seconds, and it’s almost a comfortable silence. something lurks behind this pregnant pause, however, and you can’t help but feel stifled by the heavy weight building in your stomach. jungwon is overthinking—the feeling is palpable. he’s chewing on his bottom lip and you can almost taste his vanilla chapstick; the nail of his thumb is worn down to the quick in the same way he’s bitten at the inside of his cheek.

“jungwon, you know i’m just joking, right?” there’s a hint of regret lacing your voice, a tinge of melancholy, but it mixes with a resolute affirmation of your love for him. “i miss you, but i couldn’t be more proud of you. watching those clips of you on stage, seeing you enjoy yourself—it all makes me love you even more. you’re doing so well.”

“i know,” he sighs, sounding exceedingly dejected. “i just feel like i can’t give you what you need—like i can’t be who you deserve from this far away.”

your jaw goes slack upon hearing his confession. his words shock you to your core; strong-willed yet so fragile-hearted, why your lover is so critical of himself—you will never know. in your eyes, jungwon is nothing short of angelic; ethereal in a way only known by beings of the heavens, jungwon brightens every room he walks into and makes your day better by merely existing. he is a sanctuary of sorts—warm and inviting and gentle.

“are you insane?” the question tumbled from your mouth before your brain could formulate a better response.

he hums, inquisitively, “i don’t think so?”

“okay, not exactly how i wanted that to come out,” you concede, “but—seriously, won—you’re my everything. you never have to worry about me wanting more, because you’re already who i want. who i need. and, honestly, i don’t know what i did to deserve you.” you know he’s flushed on the other side of the phone, cupping a sweater paw over his face while trying not to giggle and swing his feet like a schoolgirl. “yang jungwon, i love you very much, and i’m always so, so thankful for you … so, tell your brain to stop beating you up, or i’ll kick its slimy, little ass.”

“thank you, [y/n]. i love you, too.” he laughs for a moment, then stops himself, “wait—did you just say my brain was little?!”

#enhypen fluff #enhypen reactions #enha fluff #jungwon fluff #; — cass writes: soft n sweet #enhypen imagines #enhypen jungwon #enha x reader #jungwon reactions #jungwon imagines #jungwon headcanons #enhypen x reader #jungwon x reader

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thewintersoldierdisaster · 2 years ago

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a/n: wow! you guys really liked the last svech fic 🥹 thanks for the love! have some more lol. title is lyrics from songbird by fleetwood mac and i am atrocious at coming up with titles so 🤷🏼‍♀️ writing for svech is so fun and is definitely shaking loose some of my writer’s block so i’m going to ride the wave as long as possible. also this got wildly long whoops

tw: some sexual innuendo, but nothing crazy graphic. also a lil bit of a breeding kink (sorry not sorry) and extreme cuteness and girl dad!svech if that’s something you need to be warned about 😇

summary: you and the baby surprise andrei at a game

Evie fights her nap, pushing her pacifier from her face and kicking her little pajama-clad legs in the air. You sigh and stroke her downy blonde hair, “Evie-bug, come on. Mama needs to get things done and you need a nap.”

“No!” Evie squeals, her favorite word. “No, no, no,” she chants and you’re starting to feel a little crazy.

She’s been fussy lately, in a sleep regression and fighting her naps. So you’re both a little overtired and cranky. You cross your arms over the crib railing and drop your head to rest on your forearms, accepting that you’ll probably just have to let her freak out for a bit until she wears herself out. Hopefully that doesn’t mess with your plans for the rest of the day.

A warm, broad hand lands in between your shoulder blades and the spicy scent of Andrei’s cologne surrounds you. “She’s being cranky, still?” he asks and you nod.

“I’ve basically given up,” you mumble. “A one-year-old on nap strike is my Waterloo.” You turn around, leaning your back against the railing and get a good look at your husband. His face is pulled into a sympathetic frown and he’s half dressed, blue suit pants sitting low on his hips. His hair is slicked back, getting a little long so it flips out into the cute little wings behind his ears. You love those little wings and reach up to twist your fingers into the ends of his hair, feeling your stress melt away with his proximity and the body heat coming off of his bare chest.

He chuckles a little at your joke and says, “Let me try,” leaning forward to kiss your forehead.

You scoot to the side, flinging one hand out in a ‘be my guest’ kind of gesture and watch as Evie immediately starts giggling happily when Andrei bends into her line of sight. The little traitor.

Not that you can blame her. You’ve been a giggly mess in Andrei’s presence for years now.

“Evgenia Svechnikova, are you giving your mama a hard time?” he says, clearly trying to maintain a stern tone, but fails spectacularly and ends up speaking in a baby-talk coo.

Evie giggles and reaches for him, babbling “Da, da, da,” until he lifts her out of the crib and settles her into the crook of his arm like she’s a six-pound infant again. Your ovaries twinge with want at the adorable sight - you’re never going to get over seeing Andrei be the best dad to your baby. She turns her little face and buries it against Andrei’s skin, immediately quieting and relaxing.

He bounces on the balls of his feet, humming a little under his breath. You pass him the pacifier Evie had discarded and he takes it, fluidly nudging it into her mouth when she yawns. Her eyelids grow heavy as Andrei rocks her, covering up the brown eyes that match his exactly. One hand pats her bottom gently and rhythmically and you watch, more than a little awed, as Evie slips right into sleep. He looks up and catches your eye, grinning smugly. He winks at you and you scowl playfully, flipping him off. A laugh bubbles in his chest, but he visibly smothers it so he doesn’t wake Evie. He sways for a few more minutes, still humming, and you watch him watch her. There are faint dark circles under his eyes from all the travel and the late nights with Evie when he is home, but his lips are curled in a soft, sweet smile and he just looks so right holding your daughter.

Once he’s satisfied that Evie’s fully asleep, Andrei carefully transitions her into the crib and you pull her little blanket up over her body. She shifts and you both freeze, staring at her as if she’s a ticking time-bomb, but all Evie does is sigh softly around her pacifier and relax into the mattress, flopping her arms to the side in a starfish position. You breathe a sigh of relief and click on the baby monitor before tiptoeing out of the nursery, Andrei hot on your heels. He pulls the door partly shut and turns to you, looking supremely satisfied with himself.

“Unbelievable,” you mutter, not even annoyed and just glad Evie’s down for a nap.

“She’s a daddy’s girl,” he replies smugly, laughing while he pulls you in for a hug. He kisses your temple and you inhale his scent.

“She’s not the only one,” you tease, kissing his sternum. There’s not even close to enough time before he leaves for the arena to do anything fun, so you make yourself content with a very long hug. Andrei laughs and pinches your side a little, getting you to wiggle against his front.

His voice is low in your ear when he whispers, “you’re going to distract me, if all I can think about during the game is you.”

His hands are warm on your back and you press yourself closer to him, feeling the hardness of his thighs through his slacks. “How about,” you say, “for every point you get tonight, we try a new position.”

You pull back a little to look up at his face and Andrei’s eyes are twinkling like a kid in a candy store. He smirks, dimple popping, and says slowly, “one position for each point? Any position?”

“Any position,” you confirm, feeling a rush of arousal through your veins. “But only if you get points.”

“Don’t worry about that,” he says, confident and cocky. “I have motivation now.” His hand slips to your ass and he kisses you deeply, a promise of what’s to come. You melt into his touch, until you remember that he has a game to get to, and pull away.

He pouts and grabs for you when you slip from his touch. “No, no,” you remind him, “you have a game to get to! I will not be on the receiving end of a Rod phone call because you’re late - again!” You squint at him, faux-annoyed.

“That was worth it!” he points out, padding down the hall towards your bedroom so he can finish getting dressed. “That was the afternoon we made Evie.”

Your entire body flushes when you think about that afternoon, nearly two years ago now. He’s probably not wrong, but there’s never been a way to prove it. And honestly, if Evie is the reward from the dressing down Andrei had to take, then you’d both do it all over again.

“We’ve made it almost two years without incident,” you recover. “Let’s keep the streak going.”

“Whatever you say, solnyshka,” he says, finishing the buttons on his shirt and making quick work of his tie. You reach up to straighten the knot and caress his neck and shoulders when you’re done.

You lean up to kiss him again and murmur, “break a skate, Drei.”

He winks at you, “get stretching while I’m gone.”

You snort a laugh and he looks delighted with himself as he grabs his bag, phone, wallet, and keys. He shoves his wallet and phone in his pants’ pocket and you can’t help but watch the fabric strain. Andrei and his tight-ass pants is a duo you’re never, ever going to get tired of.

He gives you another kiss before he leaves and as soon as his car’s out of the driveway, you spring into action with a quick tidying up of the den and kitchen. If you’re lucky, Evie will be knocked out for at least an hour, which should be perfect timing. you take a quick shower with both the shower door and the bathroom door wide open and the baby monitor on full volume on the counter, just in case Evie wakes up. She doesn’t, luckily, giving you time to blow dry your hair and put on a little make-up.

You’re making an early dinner for yourself and packing some snacks into the diaper bag for Evie when the monitor crackles to life and you catch sight of your daughter wiggling around in her crib. She’s still quiet and seemingly content to entertain herself, so you take the opportunity to shove the sandwich into your mouth and finish packing the diaper bag. By the time you’ve drained a glass of water, Evie’s fully awake and calling out for mama.

“Hi, my little Evie-bug,” you coo, entering the nursery. Evie’s on her feet, holding onto the railing and bouncing, looking just like Andrei. “Are you ready to surprise Dada?”

“Dada!” she squeals, nearly clocking her head on your chin when she bounces up and you duck down to lift her out of the crib. You wince at the close call and snuggle her close, peppering kisses all over her face to get the baby laughing. She giggles wildly, the sound music to your ears, and buries her face in your neck, snuggling you back.

“Yep!” You grin, dancing her over to the changing table. “We’re going to surprise Dada. He’s going to be so excited to see you.” As you change her diaper and get her dressed in the teeny Canes jersey (#37 of course, with DADDY spelled out across her shoulders, you nearly cried when Elena bought it as a gift after you announced your pregnancy) and a pair of warm leggings, you keep up a running commentary of what you’re doing. While you were pregnant, you read that constantly talking to babies helps them develop a strong vocabulary, so that’s what you do with Evie. You pull a little pair of Ugg boots over her feet and hold her hands so she’s standing on top of the changing table. Evie shouts nonsense to you and you nod, agreeing. “Exactly, you look so good in Canes’ red, my little bunny.”

You set her down on the floor of your room so you can change too - a pair of ripped jeans and a Svechnikov shirsey under a leather jacket, since you’ll need to be able to move easily when dealing with Evie. You grab the diaper bag, which is doubling as your purse tonight and head out, grateful that Evie doesn’t fight getting into her car seat like usual. She’s got one hand wrapped tightly around the Stormy plush that had been in the gift basket from the team when she was born. Stormy’s looking a little worse for the wear lately, grubby and well-loved. Before you get on the road, you make sure to text Andrei with your usual pre-game message at the normal, pre-warmup time (a red heart, a white heart, a black heart, and the tornado emoji) so he doesn’t get suspicious. He shoots back a string of incomprehensible emojis in reply - also part of the usual pre-game routine - but follows that up with approximately twenty five eggplant emojis, which makes you laugh loudly.

Traffic is on your side, even though it’s a Friday night in early-April in Raleigh, and you make it to PNC in, if not record time, then at least plenty of time to park and get down to the ice before warm-ups start. You and Evie slip into the arena from the back and head off to the family room, a perk you’re never going to get tired of. Since it’s Friday, there’s plenty of other families at the game and you say hi to everyone, passing Evie along to the moms with older kids who take any chance to get their hands on a baby that they can return. Evie loves the attention, showing off with the few words she knows and giving you a chance to set the diaper bag down in the corner and take off your jacket.

It’s less than five minutes to the start of warm-ups, so you take a final bite of a pretzel and gather Evie up in your arms to bring her to the glass. Heather Staal settles a pair of giant red headphones over her ears and grins at Evie, “better safe than sorry, Evie.” She nudges your hip and heads out after her own kids, strolling along with the confidence of nearly a decade of motherhood. You can only hope to be as chill of a mom one day. But for now, you hold Evie on your hip and head to the glass, enjoying the way she’s looking all around the arena at the crowds of people and lights. The kids are all pressed up against the glass, dancing along to the music and you grin at the sight. You can’t wait until Evie is old enough to be running around with the rest of them, a little arena kid.

You shift her in your arms as the warm-up music begins and the visiting team - the New York Islanders - step onto the ice. Evie’s back is against your chest, supported under her butt with one arm and around the stomach by the other. She kids her legs out, Stormy clutched in one hand. Pyotr leads your boys out and then the ice is a swirl of red, white, and black. You keep your gaze trained on the ice for Andrei and watch him take a half lap, spotting the exact moment he sees you and Evie.

Even with part of his face blocked by his helmet and visor, his eyes light up and his entire face is transformed with a huge smile, all dimples and teeth. You grin back at him and bounce a little, getting Evie excited. He skates over to the glass quickly and stops with a spray of ice. It’s too loud to really hear him, but you can see his mouth form the syllables of Evie’s nickname - zaychik - little rabbit, for the way her nose had twitched when she slept as an infant. His smile is so wide you can see the spot where is tooth is missing. You use the arm wrapped around Evie’s stomach to wave her hand at him and she takes over from there, kicking her legs and waving wildly, babbling for Dada.

Andrei flattens his gloved hand against the glass, tapping gently, and you lift Evie so her feet are on the top of the boards and she can pat his hand through the glass. “Say hi to Dada,” you grin, getting emotional from Andrei’s reaction. She squeals and kicks at the glass and Andrei’s eyes look suspiciously misty.

Some of the guys skate around, waving to their own kids and they jostle Andrei, clearly teasing him a little. It’s the first time you’ve brought Evie to a game and Andrei’s definitely surprised about it. He blows you both a kiss and skates back into the middle of the ice, having to warm up before the game. Even still, you can tell his attention is on you and Evie, who’s now wiggling in your arms and trying to escape. You laugh a little and set her on her feet, still holding one of her hands to keep her upright. The older kids converge around her, delighted by how much she laughs and giggles at their antics. It’s so nice to have such a solid community with the other wives and girlfriends.

Warm-ups come to an end, but not before Andrei skates over to the corner again and taps in the glass. You hoist Evie onto your hip and she waves Stormy at him. “Say ‘good luck, Dada,’” you prompt her and she just grins more, giggling when Andrei blows her another kiss. She tucks her face into your neck when he skates off and says, “Dada,” in

a cute little voice. She chews on Stormy’s ear as you head back to the Family room and is content to curl up on your lap while the game starts.

Andrei has a zip in his skates immediately off the jump and sets Aho up with a nice pass, immediately putting the Canes up by one just thirty-five seconds into the game. On the screen, you can see him celebrate, holding up one finger to the sky - a message you know is for you and is confirmed less than ten minutes later when he holds up two fingers as he picks up a secondary assist.

He’s such a menace.

Evie makes it to the end of the first before she throws a tantrum and you know that’s your cue to leave. She fights you all the way to the car, but passes out before you even leave the parking garage, head lolled to the side and soft baby snores filling the backseat.

She transfers terribly when she’s with you, so you just take off her little boots and put her in the crib with the leggings and jersey on, knowing you can change her if and when she wakes up later. You change into sweats and curl up on the couch with the baby monitor to watch the end of the game and scroll social media. The team’s account posted a photo of Andrei and Evie grinning at each other, the corner of your own smile visible on the side of the shot. You screenshot the picture to have for yourself and repost the picture to your stories, tagging Andrei, the team, and writing ‘daddy’s biggest fan’ with a heart-eyes emoji.

You doze off a bit during the second and intermission, but wake up in time to see Andrei score what turns out to be the game-winner halfway through the third. By your count, he’s at a four-point night, tallying a primary assist on a goal during the second. He clearly can count too, because this celly involves holding four fingers up in the air. You shake your head a little. “Whatever gets you going,” you mumble to yourself. Evie calls out for you on the monitor and you head back upstairs to change her into pajamas and give her a cuddle back to sleep. She passes out within minutes, deadweight in your arms and looking incredibly like Andrei while she sleeps. Her eye shape and lips are exactly his, with a teeny little dimple in her right cheek. You trace your index finger lightly over the slope of her little nose, the one thing she inherited from you. She makes a soft little noise and smacks her lips, just like she had when she was a newborn. Honestly, you really can’t believe how blessed you are to be sitting here with your daughter while your husband gets to live his dream in the NHL. Whenever you think about Andrei’s journey, it makes you a little teary-eyed.

You’re just glad you get to be by his side during it.

Later, after Evie’s solidly asleep and back in her crib, you crawl into bed, exhausted from the day. The post-game is airing, but you know Andrei’s already on his way home. Should arrive any minute based on his text as he was leaving the arena - just a simple ‘I love you.’ Sure enough, you can hear the front door open a few minutes later and then all at once, Andrei is in your room, a stupid grin on his face.

“You really surprised me,” he says, leaning against the doorframe.

You beam at him, taking in his damp hair and slightly disheveled suit. “That was the plan, Mister Svechnikov. I’m glad it worked.”

“Evie in that little jersey,” he trails off, shaking his head. “I can’t believe it. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. You, her, hockey.”

“You deserve it all and more,” you say softly, sitting up and crossing your legs pretzel-style. Raising an eyebrow at him, you continue, “and a four-point night, on top of it all.”

Andrei loosens the knot of his tie and shakes his head. “Solnyshka, I don’t care about new positions.” His voice lowers and his eyes turn molten. “I only want the position that will put another baby in you. I want another baby, let me give you one.”

“Oh,” you gasp, feeling warm all over. Andrei very deliberately takes his tie and jacket off, unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt and rolling them up his forearms. You love his forearms.

“Will you let me put a baby in you?” He asks, coming over to your side of the bed and cupping your face in both hands. His palms are warm and a little calloused. His eyes are dark and you nod up at him, a hand already drifting under the covers and under the waistband of your sweats.

He grins, puppy-dog enthusiasm underneath the desire in his tone. He dips you back and kisses you, hot and hard and oh boy, you’ll give this man as many babies as he wants. His hand curls around the back of your neck and tongue sweeps over your lower lip. You lock your hands around his neck, holding on for dear life. Andrei’s knee comes up to rest on the mattress, dipping under his weight and you slip further down on the mattress, hooking one leg around his hip. Just as his hand slides down your side and up under your shirt, the baby monitor crackles and Evie’s little voice breaks through the haze of lust enveloping the both of you. Andrei pulls back, blinking, and shakes his head. “I’ll get her,” he says hoarsely, kissing your forehead before heading off to the nursery.

Still dazed, you climb out of bed to join him, eager for another hit of Andrei as a dad. He’s got Evie in his arms when you get to the nursery, her cheek against his shoulder and if you thought seeing him hold her shirtless earlier, it’s got nothing on the gut-punch to the ovary that is seeing him hold her while in a button down with rolled up sleeves.

You linger in the doorway while he sings softly, and a little off key, swaying in place. He doesn’t realize that you’re there - he can’t, otherwise he wouldn’t whisper, “do you want to be a big sister, zaychik? A little brother or sister? I think Mama will let us give you that. A best friend for you, like I have Uncle Geno?”

Evie blinks sleepily in his arms, mumbling for Dada, which Andrei takes to be a yes. He laughs quietly. “Mama and I will work on it,” he kisses the top of her head and you back slowly from the room, giving Andrei his time with Evie.

He turns before you can get very far and spots you, not surprised in the slightest. With his free hand, he gestures you forward and opens his arm for you to step in. You tuck yourself up against his side and he kisses the crown of your head while you sway to lull Evie back to sleep. The little girl reaches her hand out for you and you hold your fingers out for her to grab. She sighs contentedly and you stroke your thumb over her soft skin.

“Give me a whole hockey team’s roster of these little mini-yous,” you whisper up to Andrei.

“As many as you want,” he promises seriously, eyes twinkling.

#andrei svechnikov #andrei svechnikov x reader #andrei svechnikov x you #andrei svechnikov imagine #carolina hurricanes

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part-time-zombie · 1 month ago

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Enough For Now

pairings: platonic dukexiety

summary: a playful argument between Virgil and Remus accidentally reopens some old wounds between the two of them, but it also offers a chance at mending them properly.

tags/warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, implied/referenced fight pre-aa

word count: 1254

A/N: i probably could have/should have done more with this one but I'm tired lol. hope it's still a decent enough read.

He didn’t mean it. Remus knows Virgil didn’t mean anything by it. Of course he didn’t, he was only joking. They had both been bouncing quips, jabs, and banter back and forth for a while now, and he could tell Virgil was enjoying it by the subtle upturn of his lips and the quiet spark in his eyes. He was playing, they were both only playing.

So why was he so bothered by this?

Remus had playfully prompted him during their verbal spar when it happened.

“Oh, you wound me so! What could I have done to make you hate me like this?” Remus teased, theatrically placing a hand over his heart as if it had been run through.

Virgil’s lips peeled away from his teeth in faux disgust. “You exist.”

It was a good thing that Patton intervened at that point, telling them both to knock it off and get ready for dinner, because Remus had found himself at a true loss for words.

You exist.

He didn’t need to pretend he was hurt now, the ache in his chest made it all too clear to him that something had indeed struck at his heart.

Because the fact is, it had been the truth. Virgil had left, even when he promised they’d stick together until the end. And it had to be something Remus had done. Of course it was, he was messy and scary and everything wrong.

And deep down, Remus knows it hadn’t been just one thing he did wrong, or one line he crossed. It was just him, everything about him. Virgil left because of what Remus is, and what he is is awful.

He exists, and that was bad enough.

Remus ate in silence that day, keeping his head down and his eyes away from Virgil.

He didn’t expect to hear a knock at his door not even an hour after dinner was over. Firstly, because he never locked his door and always encouraged everyone to just barge in if they were looking for him. Secondly, because no one ever sought him out in the first place. Why would they? There was nothing good or desirable about him. If there was, people wouldn’t be leaving him all the time.

Virgil wouldn’t have left him at all.

He opened the door with a sigh and nearly closed it again when he saw Virgil standing outside it.

For whatever reason, he didn’t.

“What?” he asked instead.

“Look, I know I went a little too far earlier, so I just wanted to see how you were doing. And maybe apologize,” Virgil said, muttering the last part under his breath.

Remus narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

Virgil hunched his shoulders. “Because it was a dick thing for me to say, and I know I upset you. I didn’t mean any of it, really.”

“Not why you’re apologizing, even though it’s still weird. Why do you care how I’m doing?”

Virgil ran a hand through his hair, looking back down the hall for a moment. “If we’re gonna have this conversation, can we at least not have it out in the hall? I uh, I got a lot I need to say here.”

Remus obliged, stepping back and letting Virgil into his room while decidedly overlooking how long it’s been since he’d last been in here with him.

“So what is it, then?” he asked, closing the door with a pointed slam.

“I’m not the best at this, alright?” Virgil huffed. “But I just still feel really shitty about it, and also about… how we kinda ended things back then.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t play dumb right now. It was a mess and you know it, the whole thing sucked.”

Remus crossed his arms and gave him a glare. “Was it? I think it went pretty smoothly.”

Virgil only glared back. “We both know it didn’t.”

“It did for you.”

The “and not for me” went unspoken, but it was still heard loud and clear by both of them.

“It didn’t, though,” Virgil sighed, inching nearer to him. “At least, not completely.”

“But you still left anyway. It couldn’t have been all that bad.”

“I didn’t have too much of a choice, okay?” he barked. “It was all or nothing, one or the other. Stay in the dark with you or be in the light with them. I couldn’t do both. I wasn’t allowed to, not back then.”

“And you made your choice.”

“Yeah. I did. And most nights I only really think about what I had to lose in the process.”

Remus smiled ruefully at him. “You mean you celebrate.”

Virgil’s face fell as he took another step closer. “No. I mourn.”

Remus wasn’t sure if he wanted to let Virgil close the distance or not. If he wanted to run or not. If he was awake or not. He wasn’t even all too sure he remembered things right anymore.

“Remus, I know I fucked up,” he started, finally getting close enough for it to be considered too close. “I can’t undo it no matter how much either of us want me to, and I’m pretty sure this regret’s gonna kill me one day because of that. I just wanna make it right with you, okay? Today was a bad way to start, but I really do want to try and fix this if I can.”

Remus’ heart was thundering in his ears, his nails digging into his arm tightly enough to leave marks. Virgil left, he left and he never apologized. He hates him, he hates him because he exists and that’s bad enough. He doesn’t-

“Hey, now…” Virgil’s voice drifted back to him, gently nudging his shoulder and looking at him so softly that for a moment it looked like he cares. “Hey. Don’t do that, okay?”

“Do what?”

Virgil gave him a small almost-smile. “Get stuck in your head like that. I’ve done that way too much and let me tell you, it sucks. Just… just be here.”

Remus forced his arms back to his sides, slowly unclenching his hands from the fists he had balled them into and using the stiffness of it to ground himself.

“And do what?” he asked, offering a cautious grin of his own.

“Well, maybe we could watch a movie or something?” he started. “I know we’ve got a lot of horror movies to catch up on.”

“You hate those,” Remus scoffed.

Virgil chuckled. “Only when I don’t have someone else around to watch them with.”

The next smile he made was much more certain, as was the one that was returned to him.

“So what do you think?” he continued. “I mean, we’ve got all night, and there’s plenty of stuff to watch.”

“Only if you don’t pretend you’re clinging to me when you get scared and you actually own up to it.”

“Will you keep laughing every time someone dies?”

Remus flashed him a knowing smile. “Duh.”

“Then I’ll keep on being not scared during the movie.”

“Fine by me.”

It didn’t take long for them to set up the first of several horror movies, watching them together in a gaggle of limbs under a shared blanket while Remus laughed and Virgil didn’t jump at the scarier scenes, and in no time it felt as if nothing had happened between them at all, and for just this moment they were just the Duke and Anxiety enjoying each other’s company again.

And for now, that on its own was good enough.

taglist:

@keitaisghost @rougeside4 @britt-ish123 @new-zee-land @nico-the-overlord

@can-i-take-a-stab @oatmealdaydreams @lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @yuckypuppie

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fic #my fic

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kaleb-is-definitely-sane · 9 months ago

Note

Now it's your turn :))

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

bamboo ⇢ do you change into a different outfit when you get home?

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?

chia ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else?

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you?

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

taro ⇢ if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about?

orchid ⇢ Oh gosh, I love sooooo many songs. A song I consider to be perfect... idk. I'll have to say Always Be My Baby by Mariah Carey because it's my current obsession lol.

cactus ⇢ The Philosophy of Love. It's so cool. The Biblical Philosophy of Desire and Knowledge, Plato's Theory of Love and Becoming, The Medieval/Arabian concept of Courtly Love. They are all sooooo cool and sooooo fascinating and I love them all dearly.

bamboo ⇢ I go to school at home so I never really leave. And when I do leave to go somewhere on the weekend or such, I take a shower when I come home.

abelia ⇢ Not really, aside from this sterling silver cross necklace I got for my birthday last year. It's really cool and I love it hehehe

daffodil ⇢ So I have 3, all sisters. I don't really think i'm that similar to my older sister. Aside from sharing the same father, we're pretty different. With my two younger sisters, I look like the older of the two, however I'm nicer like the younger one.

mahonia ⇢ I try to take inspiration from literally everything. So... anything you can imagine lol. Whenever inspriation hits me I just start talking out loud. Usually it becomes a line for a poem. And i just recite that line out loud over and over until i get more lines. And then repeat. Usually i end up with a couple stanzas, constantly editing and revising in my mind the entire time until it's perfect. Or, near perfect as it can get.

chia ⇢ Me and my baby sister (she's 8 but always the baby) will constantly recite Benedick and Beatrice's lines to each other. Especially their first conversation in the play. Much Ado About Nothing is soooooo good loll. And then with @jordie-is-definitely-sane, we have incest is wincest lol. Because I love traumatizing her hehehe

sage ⇢ haha. I can't choose either. How could anyone??? I'm an aspiring actor, poet, and author, so obviously my favorites are theatre, poetry and prose fiction. But also music, paintings, sculpting, dance, et cetera all have such splendid things to offer as well. And i would love to learn how to do them all! They're all art and they all touch somewhere hands can't: into the deepest most inner part of your being. How one can say which is individually more touching? I can't fathom.

edelweiss ⇢ It's just my name + is definitely sane. Which is definitely a lie lol. My older one's were a lot more interesting but because of that i also constantly changed them lol. This one's more basic, but i'm never changing it

camellia ⇢ I'm not sure. I was happier as a kid, I used to run around more and talk more and I had a lot more friends irl. Now? I don't really know how to hold a conversation (T-T), I definitely talk less (not because i have less to say tho lol. Trust me I could talk for hours and I do when i'm alone), I definitely don't run around as much. Tho i'm not as sad about that last one. I have started dancing in the rain again like I used to so that's good :). I still read and write, in fact I do both of those even more then when i was younger. I still find beauty in everything. I still have an incredibly idealized view of nature and childhood. I still have a deep sense of needing to be myself (who that is? idk. but i need to find it) I think deep down I'm the same person. Just, kind of mellowed. I can't think of childhood and growing up without think of Trenton Lee Stewart's Riddle of Ages; he says that he doesn’t believe we become different people as we age. No, he says he believes that we become more people. We’re still the kids we were, but we’re also the people who’ve lived all the different ages since that time. And I think that's a beautiful sentiment.

jasmine ⇢ No. Absolutely not. If I loved it, im going to watch/reread it a thousand more times.

ivy ⇢ Body language, eyes, mouth, tone, the language they use (are they talking differently then usual), hands, etc.

chamomile ⇢ Books, chocolates, sweaters/hoodies, necklaces and bracelets (i love expensive shiny stuff but also that homey handmade stuff. I eat it up), MONEY$$$$$ lol. But like seriously.

aloe vera ⇢ I just want to know and be known. Which, though it sounds really mundane to others, I think is actually one of the most special, transcendental and divine things one can do in life (can you tell I've been studying the philosophy of love lol?). I genuinely believe in the Avicenna's concept of the ennobling power of love. With all of my heart.

palm tree ⇢ I mean... I can't really think of one? I love the Percy Jackson series and I love Luke so, i guess him? I have strong thoughts about him (bbg hates the West so much but is such a western tragic hero lol), he's so fascinating as a character and even moreso as a concept lol

nutmeg ⇢ My rooms pretty basic so no lol.

papyrus ⇢ I don't have one T-T. So i just picked a random song: ICU by Coco Jones. I associate it with @mera-mann-kehne-laga. No context.

taro ⇢ I'd probably tell them that I'm writing poetry, I'm working on 2 books, and that I scored a 28 on the ACT. I'm very bad at conversation so I probably just let them talk and listen to them, ask them questions to prod them, etc.

Thank you for the ask @memory-the-unconscious <333

#ask game #this is me #personal aesthetic #kaleb aesthetic

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starlostastronaut · 1 year ago

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DAY 07 | BUT A TROUBLEMAKER GIRL

PAIRING: seo changbin x reader

GENRE: crack, fluff

WC: 0.76k

CW: attempt at humour, playful banter/insults (they're besties so its fine haha)

PROMPT: "your hand looks heavy, can i hold it for you?"

i picked out the prompt and my first thought was "from how many things can i make fun of?" lol. so this is where it ended. i honestly have no explanations for this, so just enjoy haha <3

title from troublemaker - olly murs

general masterlist here

<< previous | mctc masterlist | next >>

"Your hand looks heavy, can I hold it for you?”

You almost choked on your drink when you heard that. When your cough had eased enough for you to be able to speak, you managed to get out a strained “What?” before you launched into another fit, though this time it was a laugh.

“Have you calmed down now?” Changbin grumbled after having to listen to your laugh for another few minutes. If you were to ask him, he would swear the last two minutes were only pretended, because no human could possibly laugh for that long.

“I’m sorryyy Binnie,” you said, wiping imaginary tears from your face. However, upon seeing his unpleasant expression, you straightened your back and stopped the charade. "Yeah, I’m done. Sorry,” you muttered, this time truly meaning it. You didn’t think he took it that seriously, but apparently he did after all, which made you feel genuinely sorry. Sometimes you would simply take your jokes too far without realizing it. “It’s just… since when do you use pick-up lines?”

In the years of knowing Seo Changbin, you had never heard him say a single pick-up line. Sure, Changbin never passed up an opportunity to shamelessly flirt with just about anyone, but he never resorted to something so “primitive” (as he himself once said) like pick-up lines. That was more up Bang Chan’s alley.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Chan-hyung swears it works. He said the fans go crazy whenever he uses one.” He gave you a curious look. “You’re our fan too. Why didn’t it work?” he pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. Despite the situation you found yourself in, the sight of him sitting like that opposite you was just so adorable. Of course, you would never admit it to him, but the thought was still there, making you smirk before you caught yourself.

You opted for standing up from the couch and going to refill your glass, not wanting your face to betray you, given the fact that Changbin was taking this situation seriously, at least to a certain degree.

“My dear Changbin, you’re forgetting one very small but also very important detail,” you called from the kitchen. While waiting for a response, you opened the fridge to take out a bottle of juice.

“What, that I’m not Chan-hyung?”

“No! Well… I mean yes, but that’s not my point,” you yelled back and put the juice back. Walking out of the kitchen, you stopped at the door and leaned your side on the doorframe, with a clear view of Changbin still pouting in the other room. He didn’t exactly look like he had figured it out yet, so it was up to you to give him the hint. “Do you know what the difference is between me and a regular STAY?”

He shook his head and looked up at you, waiting for an answer.

“I’ve met your dumb asses.”

With a smile on your lips, you watched Changbin’s reaction. As if it were slow motion, he furrowed his brows in confusion, but then it got replaced by annoyance. “Yah! What do you mean by that?” he shouted, but there was only pretend anger present in the tone of his voice. You got pretty good at guessing when he was joking, and right now you were sure you were both on the same page.

“That any fan who would spend just a day in the presence of any of you would think twice before falling for you,” you answered with an innocent grin and drank from the glass, making it seem like a neutral conversation. Which it was, theoretically. There was no real malice behind your words, you just enjoyed teasing your best friend.

“Or you just have poor taste, because Stray Kids are totally boyfriend goals,” Changbin retorted, raising an eyebrow as if saying “what’s your response to that, huh?”

But you were ready for him. You two bickered so often that your replies were basically autopilot. Without missing a beat, you scoffed. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.” With a victory smirk, you watched Changbin freeze. He was trying to think of some witty reply, but it seemed like you got him there.

“Wait a minute, doesn’t Jeongin have that friend from school who is also a STAY?” Changbin asked after a moment of silence. You just looked at him, head tilted to the side and confusion written all over your face. “Let’s call them and settle this once and for all,” he explained, already standing up and going to his room for his phone.

taglist: @stayconnecteed @saintriots @vivioluh @ivaneedssleep @jazziwritesthings @darkypooo

#( all works⎯ 🗃 )#( moony's countdown to christmas⎯ 📂 )#stray kids x reader #seo changbin x reader #seo changbin #fluff #crack #humour

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pinchinschlimbah · 11 days ago

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Hi, something is bugging me today and I need your input on it. You wrote something about Kyo and drag, and I have the same feeling. I've been back to Dir the last 6 months after almost 15 years gap. During this gap, I came to terms with my queerness, took a deeper interest in queer culture and (tried to) educate myself. I have a sweet spot for drag artistry that tends more to the fraeaky side. Because of my taste in general, let's say I'm more a Dragula entouthiast than a Dragrace one. I'm sorry if this is long and twisted, but I like to provide context... I also have to "hide" this interest at home, because my partner is a transwoman, but she's also stopped hormones and tend more and more on the NB side of transition (long hair, not shaving beard, non gendered clothes, going with "any pronouns is fine" but still using the female name she picked). And she's not really a drag fan, in fact, it's a little transphobic for her. And I get that, some dragqueens (gay cis male ones) do have a little problem portraying female figures... I guess you get what I mean.

Back to Kyo. Maybe it's because every Kyo fan I met was a problematic person (lol)? Very, very obsessed with him, almost religious to anything he does, like he's the fucking messiah! So I started to pick on him, making jokes, just to piss off these women I used to hang with. Turns out, 15 years later and even if these women are not in my life anymore, he's still the butt of the jokes, my lolcow, the target of my bullying. In a strict circle of choosen people who get my sense of humour and never online or to his face (like I could harrass him IRL lol). I just don't like the guy and he's doing a perfect job at fuelling my despise. He comes off as arrogant, acting like his shit doesn't smell, gathering a circle of followers who will fistfight you if you dare to criticize or question anyhing coming from him.

With that in mind, when I saw this pic https://www.instagram.com/p/C-XoBeES7Wo/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== my brow raised... I see wig, fake eyelashes, overdrew lips, everyhting is drag coded! And the MFing lolita headpiece??? After the infamous clip of him and Die poking fun at gothic lolitas! It was too much for me. I don't give a rat's ass it was like 20 years ago and they might have change minds about gothic lolitas, cross dressing or whatever! I felt angry, like, I don't know why but I was pissed. And here is why I'm bothering you on Christmas' eve while I should be working.

Is this bloody cultural appropriation or not? I'll die on the hill that drag is for everyone, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, skin color or whatever. But, where do you draw the line between hommage and plunder? Inspiration and deadpan lootering of the art of a discrimlnated community? Artists who takes risks when performing, in clubs targeted by gunmen and bigots? I KNOW Japan has a different aproach to male impersonating females on stage, kabukl and everything. I KNOW "it's not that serious, Mary!" I KNOW it's Japan and Dir will never acknowledge any personal infos. But it's twisting my guts he's only showing and not talking. At least, can he say somewhere he's paying hommage to a culture that inspires him. Somewehere everybody can read it, not in a magazine interview that will only reach japanese speaking people. Just share something on IG. It's getting personal, I need Kyo to tell me he's not the arrogant asshole I think he is since 2000. Because everything he does is sending me redflags, from the day I listened to Mazohist of Decadance I question his opinion on abortion, from the way he acted toward fans I dread he hates women, which is rich considering he built his career on the back and the purse of women. And now he's queerbaiting? Because he's not an idiot and saw where the potential was? Yes, I'm getting too emotional. Sorry for the rant, the mispelling and the bad english. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say, here and if you feel like it answer to my void shooting. But I'd understand this is an overwhelming message and you don't have time or interest in it.

Have a great day, celebrating or not, I'm going to lie in bed with a book and try not to hyperfocus on the crap in my head.

Hello! First of all, thank you for taking the time to write out all of this. I'm going to try my best to answer all the aspects here but if you think there's anything important I've missed, feel free to follow up. Also necessary disclaimer that all of this is just my opinions garnered from my best understanding of following Kyo's work, at the end of the day Kyo is a stranger on the other side of the world speaking a language that I have to rely on third party translations to understand, and I can't ever truly know exactly what's going on in his head.

So first of all, it seems the main question you're asking is, do I think Kyo's usage of drag imagery and culture is appropriation or queerbaiting? Personally, I do not. Based on everything I've seen and heard from him, it's clear to me that he's got a deep appreciation and understanding for the culture of drag, and has done his homework as someone who is looking to be part of the drag community. I myself am someone who is deeply involved in my local drag and queer community, and every drag person I've shown Kyo's recent work to has recognized his appearance and mannerisms as drag, as one of us rather than an inauthentic imitation for some sort of clout. The couple of friends who I've pulled down the diru/vkei hole with me, have felt the same way I have of resonating with Kyo's work in part because the kinds of drag he does reminds us of ourselves and our friends and the drag artists we look up to, and it's exciting to see someone who looks like that and performs like that also making such good music (drag queen music, as a genre, is unfortunately usually uhhhhh not great hahaha) and being so highly recognized for it.

[As a side note, I'm sorry to hear that your partner has had such a difficult time with drag! I think RuPaul in particular has unfortunately had a heavy hand in trying to separate drag from transness in a very ahistorical way, especially in the earlier seasons of Drag Race which then filtered into the popular opinion about what drag was or should be. But luckily I think most people in the community have since come around to the idea that drag is more about an exploration and celebration of all types of gender expression and identity rather than just "men pretending to be women" and while I think you're much more likely to find people with more in-between expressions in more local communities who aren't concerned with being palatable for television, Dragula has been good about showcasing people all over the spectrum and even Drag Race has come around more recently to featuring openly trans, female, and nonbinary people on the show!]

While I do think it would be really cool to see Kyo give acknowledgement to the specific drag artists who he appears to be directly inspired by, I don't think it's accurate to say he hasn't given any acknowledgement to the drag or queer community as a whole. Of course there are the magazine interviews, which yes they are created for a Japanese audience but translations are available online and digital autotranslate features make it infinitely easier for these interviews to be accessible to wider audiences than in previous decades. In these interviews [here and here], he has expressed support for queer rights (something still very controversial in Japan!), repeatedly brings up queerness and his support for it even when it's not super related to the questions asked, stated that he aims to title and write his songs from a place outside of gender, refers to himself as effeminate, said that he names his songs after drag queens and other queer people, that he modeled Candis (song and video) after Showa era gay icon popstars and that his intended primary audience for the song is gay men, that a show he watched when he was younger about a trans woman had a lasting impact on him, and that he has incorporated queer imagery into his shows with the goal of showing support for the queer community and to display queer love as something beautiful and important.

Even outside of magazine interviews...I think Valentina and the media surrounding it is a perfect example of him being as outright as he can without saying the quiet part out loud. (as I've been yelling about recently, the fact that there are so few officially Out queer Japanese musicians is a whole complicated issue but long story short I don't blame him given the oppressive culture there for not outright identifying himself as queer. I think it would be cool if he did, but I'm not holding my breath even if I do believe him to be someone of queer experience) The song is named after a drag queen. The song is from a feminine perspective. Kyo is in undeniably feminine drag in the video and using feminine/draggy mannerisms. He's holding a "Melty-chan" doll which, thanks to Kyo sharing a post about this on his instagram story when the promo photos first dropped, we know this doll is from an art exhibit specifically about navigating life as a queer person. While not exactly textually related, he also posted on his insta story about Catwoman being his girlfriend AND the Joker being his boyfriend, at the same time he was posting teasers for the shoot.

And also, importantly, the interview where he's wearing lipstick and lingerie begins with the interviewer's shock at Kyo presenting this way, and Kyo responding with "Really? The truth is I wanted to do it earlier, but the timing now ended up being perfect. It's a worldview not possible for DIR EN GREY, but I thought it's fine with sukekiyo." I think a lot of what you're interpreting to be insincere or malicious intent is actually just growth and letting himself be who he always wanted to be but felt he wasn't allowed to explore after a certain point and turned to lashing out at those things instead during that time. It's very very clear looking at Dir en Grey's chronological history that they got caught up in a particularly ugly bout of toxic masculinity/internalized misogyny/queerphobia in the early-mid 2000s, and I don't blame you for being put off by things they said and did during that time- I also bailed around then because I was at best uninterested and at worst actively upset by those versions of themselves. And that's part of why I've found their turnaround so exciting- looking at everything, to me it seems pretty clear it wasn't a sudden pivot as a cash/attention grab now that queerness and drag are trendy to a certain marketable audience. It was a gradual process over the past decade of the whole band learning to love those parts of themselves again that they started with in the early days and then abandoned and admonished, to get to the point of again being as flamboyant and theatrical and feminine as they are now.

I'm curious where you got the impression that present day Kyo is arrogant and full of himself and seeking out mindlessly devoted followers when I've honestly been frustrated with the exact opposite impression reading his interviews. He consistently gives the impression of having incredibly low self-worth, going on repeatedly about how he doesn't think his talents or skills are particularly impressive and he doesn't believe others when they tell him he's amazing or that they're a devoted fan of his and so on. It's made me want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him and tell him to be kinder to himself because his work is, in fact, incredible and he is deserving of love as much as anyone else. I do think he has the tendency to often be intentionally obtuse or annoying in interviews and appearances (such as wearing a bag over his head at the M&Gs on this year's European tour or the infamous film screening appearance from a few months ago where he sat on the floor eating snacks and putting tape on Shinya's shoes instead of answering the questions) which is not going to be everyone's cup of tea and might not be yours! But I personally don't find these actions to be coming from a place of arrogance, I genuinely just think he thinks it's funny and is trying to amuse himself and others when for someone who does those types of appearances often, they can end up feeling redundant and uninspiring after a while just by nature of doing it so many times.

I admittedly have not read many interviews from the toxic masculinity era which may be where your primary impression is coming from, but this one (from a western metal magazine, in I think 2008) stuck out to me as particularly interesting, where the pull quote significantly twists what he actually said and paired with the chosen photo makes him look like a huge dick, but the actual sentiment in the textual quote is that the band is trying to act more tough and "bad" than they actually are because they think they're supposed to, which I feel like really encapsulates what was going on with them at that time and their desperation to be taken seriously as heavy metal musicians outside of the vkei costumes and theatrics.

I do think it says a lot that no one in the industry has had anything bad to say about any of the members (other than poking fun at them for being too shy offstage) and that they've had no personal scandals that I've seen, that they've been able to remain an active and successful band for nearly 30 years with no lineup changes, and that Kyo has two other active bands who he seems to get along very well with. I don't think any of this would be the case if he was actually as miserable and annoying to deal with as he likes to pretend he is, since artistic talent only gets you so far if you're insufferable as a person. I think there's a good chance that under all his bristling, he is actually just a nice guy haha. I hope some of this has been insightful or helpful for you, and as I said at the start, please feel free to circle back if you have more to say!

#asks #long post #gay yelling

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