#also kind of sad that hes got cordelia and she likes him more than he seems to care for her. oh how the turns have tabled.....

[firstroseofspring]

OZ IS A WEREWOLF? BROOOO

[ushsblog]

Headcanons and Ideas that Episode “Through the Looking Back Glass” Left Me With

(Long post)

1. Wandless magic

First of all, every time I see the incident scene, I can't help but wonder about the magic without a wand. I mean the part where Child Cedric performs a spell with his bare hands, when he tries to fix Cordelia's hair.

That got me thinking because (and correct me if I'm wrong) I don't have seen another sorcerer or sorceress do magic only with their hands. My headcanon about this is that some wizards, with a long lineage of magic, can do some spells without a wand.

And, well, it makes sense to me knowing that Cedric came from a long line of wizards.

Anyway, I don't know if doing this kind of magic is somewhat advanced for a child. It caught my attention when Child Cordelia says: "But you can't cast a spell like that, Ceddy. You're too young".

And then, Cedric shows her he actually CAN do the spell. That, more than a headcanon, makes me wonder if Cedric was a prodigy in magic before losing his self-confidence due to the incident.

And it makes me a little sad thinking about whether Cedric could have had a brighter future if that incident had never happened.

2. Goodwyn being a terrible father

I always found it so unfair the way everyone treats Child Cedric when the smoke serum failed, and even more so, the way his parents let it happen. I know this doesn't even happen in the episode, but I think it's somewhat implicit that Goodwyn didn't defend or at least comfort Cedric. He doesn't even seem to forgive him for his "mistake."

I mean, if your son accidentally hurts his sister, I understand your anger at first. Maybe saying he shouldn't be playing with things he doesn't know or punishing him for his carelessness, perhaps. But eventually, you should tell him it's fine, that you know it wasn't his intention, right? I don't know, something like that, because despite everything, HE'S A CHILD.

Children make mistakes. Cedric's "mistake" was serious, of course. But I think that, as a father, anyone should not let it grow so much that it becomes social rejection. I don't know if I explain myself. But I mean that the way Goodwyn (and Winnifred) handled the matter was terrible.

This brings me to my idea: something was wrong in that family even before the incident. (Explained more in the later points)

Maybe not as bad as it sounds, but personally, I believe something was happening at least between Goodwyn and Cedric for Goodwyn to act like that. I could also say, my headcanon is that Goodwyn had all his hopes and expectations on Cedric. He was going to be his replacement, the new Royal sorcerer, even if he was a child.

I believe part of the way Goodwyn probably reacts and treats Cedric after the incident (I'm referring to all the scolding and interrupting him, as seen in the Mystic Meadows episode) comes from that idea of him disgracing his legacy. Sorry if it's a very basic idea, but this takes me to another point.

3. Goodwyn shit-talking about Cedric

So, similar to the part before, I think that even before the incident, Goodwyn was very hard on Cedric. For the reasons I explained before, I think Goodwyn put pressure on Cedric to get his spells right and that kind of thing. Because, surely even before everything, Cedric did not meet his expectations.

And one of the reasons I believe this is because of that part when Child Cordelia screams at Cedric during the incident: “This is all your fault.”

Because even if, at that moment, it definitely looked like it was his fault, why was Child Cordelia's first reaction to scream and blame Cedric? Because it's a learned habit.

From nothing more than Goodwyn. A child doesn’t learn alone; they imitate behaviors from their home and environment. He doesn't care to say it in front of Sofia (a girl who shouldn't be involved in it) in that buttercups episode, after all. That’s my headcanon here.

Cordelia saw the way her father scolded Cedric, and then, she learned to do it. The incident was only the trigger, so to speak.

It obviously got worse after the incident.

4. Winnifred and Cordelia Relationship

I know it was such a short scene and maybe the animators didn't want to make a young Winnifred model, but where the fuck was Winnifred during the incident? It's your daughter's big special entrance; shouldn't you be in the front row to see her?

That was just a thought I wanted to share, anyway…

This episode, and others about Cedric’s family, gave me the headcanon that just as Cedric had a bad relationship with his father, Cordelia had it with her mother.

Maybe not as bad as Cedric with Goodwyn, but something like that. Let me explain my thought. When Child Cordelia needs comfort, she doesn't look for her mother; she runs to her father. (Well, yeah, because Winnifred wasn't there, so we don't know if Cordelia could have gone to her instead.)

I think Cordelia and Goodwyn had a better relationship because Winnifred always had a slight preference for Cedric that only grew after the incident. With Goodwyn and Cordelia attacking Cedric, Winnifred may have felt an obligation to be on her son’s side.

That probably would make Child Cordelia feel like her mother is betraying her. I mean, if your mother tries to defend the person that hurt you (that left you bald), you probably feel angry at her.

Even more so when she spends her time saying he's a “great sorcerer” despite everything he did. You live permanently bald because of him, and he's a great sorcerer? That's totally bullshit. (At least, that's what Cordelia must have thought.)

And, as it seems in “Cedric be good,” she also supports him in anything he does. Even when it’s something bad and a legit crime. I just imagine Winnifred defending Child and young Cedric for everything he did, even if, sometimes, it was really his fault. So, in part, that makes me understand Cordelia's anger.

Yeah, I made a headcanon to understand and empathize with Cordelia a little.

So, probably Cordelia got closer to her dad. I also can see them talking shit about Cedric while doing some activity together, lol. It's like their recreational time.

Summary: Cedric is a mommy’s boy and Cordelia is a daddy’s girl. (Is that expression well used? I don't speak English but I have seen some people use it. I'm a little afraid of using the wrong expressions and having something else understood.)

5. Sorceress/ sorcerer balls are a presentation to magical society.

Yep. That's my other headcanon. (And I think it's for any gender)

I belive this because of the other wizards we can see in the background. Again, I know it's because it's probably easier for animators to use the same models of other characters, but let’s leave that aside.

These wizards are the same as in the episode “Hexley Hall” during the song the other familiars sing to Wormwood. These people are academics from Hexley Hall and, apparently, very important people in the world of wizards. (Because of the number of portraits they have around the series and so on.)

I think the ball is a way of presenting the new little wizards who will join the world of sorcery. Also, I think that after 10 years old, is the time they enter Hexley Hall. So, it makes sense for people from Hexley Hall to come to these parties to see their future students and members.

I say it's from the age of ten because in Cedric's flashback in Hexley Hall, he already has white locks. Personally, I think Cedric was 8 or 9 during the incident, and that Cordelia is the older sister. In fact, I thought that was canon until I saw some people disputing it.

Anyway, that only makes Cedric's mistake more significant. Because he, in front of the eyes of the most important people in the magic community, looked like a failure. And maybe that's why he had such a bad reputation in Hexley Hall.

Plus whatever he did in his school years.

Thank you for your time! I would like to know what you think about it. I can't believe how interesting a scene that's less than five minutes long is.

[mynoiii]

__________🐅👑__________

More Headcanons about Tigeress and Renae.

Cause these babies are on my mind 24/7

__________🐅👑__________

I will never stop talking about these guys <3

Wrote these at 4am, so excuse no grammer LOL.

No sad Headcanons this time.

I will do a mix of both the old story and the new story, heheheh

__________🐅👑__________

Tigeress and Renae definitely have good communication skills. Whenever someone has a issue its usually fixed within one conversation. Shout out to them

Tigeress def teaches him the things her father taught her. He's very convinced he's better than her, but she's shows him otherwise

bi wife energy, that's its that's the tweet.

these two definitely feel some sort of guilt of what happened to each other when they we're younger. Both try their best to atone, but neither hold a grudge for the other.

to some up their relationship, they are pretty much Percy and vex from critical role

Renae loves his strong wife 💪🏾💪🏾

After the war, tigeress and Renae don't go to the empire too much; tigeress reputation is already enough to cause suspicion

This doesn't stop them from visiting, though. They've raided a view of ships here and there, a true danger duo.

Because of the war, people know what Renae looks like, but tigeress is still a mystery

( I'll be adding this in the new video I'm making but I'll add it here )

● Tigeress and Renae are both wanted in the empire and inthcia; this is because they are speculated to be working with the rebels, and also they no longer want anymore royal empiral bloodline, so Renae gots to go 💀

Renae did want to go back to the empire and become king but decided staying with tigeress was his best bet, not that he was complaining, though .

( cause I need this to happen )

Tigeress was commissioned by cupcake to help get her and Warren out of stealgate.both her and Renae got the job done, and they became friends afterward.

cupcake and Warren def joins the crew for a small bit before also settling in umgehoro

Tigeress def has had matches with Warren, her next match she would want to have is against castin,the king, and the queen.. you know she loves a good match

Fun family stuff, cause I believe everyone in the cast has kids at some point

dispite, not wanting to slow down, tigeress does retire her father's ship once her and Renae settled down. They spend most of their days in umgehoro with their 3 kids

- their oldest son being Sorley

- Their second oldest daughter being cordelia

- the youngest son being Marino

In order to protect them, tigeress lies and says their merchants from across the seas; this way, they can get to places they aren't normally welcomed in.

Tigeress knows everyone is still looking for Renae, and most likely knows people dont know the kids exist, so she does her best to hide her husband and kids identity, anit nobody messing with her babies

The kids def know they are emperial royalty. They listen to their parents and keep it a secret.

Tigeress and renae kids def hang out often with cupcakes and Warren kid

( one daughter and one son )

Tigeress loves watching Renae and cordelia, it's reminds her of how close she was with her father.

In the same breath, Renae loves watching tigeress teach their sons anything they want to learn. It makes him happy knowing his sons can be more free than he ever was.

Tigeress and Renae truly let their kids explore what they want, they don't want to be over barring; but if they see things going south they'll def set in when needed

Tigeress daughter is very interested in learning about ascendants, so she tends to hang out a lot with the kind and queens son 👀

But that's a conversation for another day <3

I have drawings of these kiddos cause I love them so much.

I will write about the kiddos soon!

[space-spring]

I reblogged that post the other day about never finishing video games and it made me stop and think hard about my life and the fact that. oh my god....... I really DO never finish video games........... So I have changed my ways by finishing up Chapter 4 and the ending of Chaos route for Tactics Ogre! Tons of endgame spoilers ahead but here are my bullet-pointed highlights:

My guy Azelstan the pirate! I love him. His whole arc with losing his daughter reminded me a little of Svarog and Hossabara from Triangle Strategy (albeit with substantially more nihilism!), and finding him at the port and then going through the story with the girl he takes under his wing made me die a little inside.

I do really appreciate the fact that even once he joins you he's still a little bit of a mess! I feel like a lot of the characters join Denam out of anger or honor or something else equally passionate, and meanwhile Azelstan's out here going "I've lost everything I love and this is just a decent way to try and make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else." He's simply a very sad old man and I love him a lot

This is not a highlight per se but it IS funny: I had to play the whole pirate cove dungeon where you recruit him like three or four times because I kept thinking I had the recruitment conditions fulfilled and then. did not in fact have the recruitment conditions fulfilled. I killed SO many ghosts. I got to the point where I just bought like 30 exorcism arcanas before going in so I could just have anyone regardless of cleric status blast the stilled undead whenever I needed to

AUGHKDHJSHDGHJJS. I am. SO unwell about the Sherri recruitment scene. I cannot express just how much I am unwell about the Sherri recruitment scene. All the Phoraena sisters really are so cool and good and I spontaneously combust whenever they come on screen but this scene is just AUUUUUGH........ It kills me thinking about how long Sherri's been hiding out because she doesn't think anyone will welcome her back and meanwhile her sisters just!!! love her so much!!!!!!!!!! and SHE loves THEM so much!!!!!! it just makes me go woaugh..........

I also just replayed some of the earlier chapters with Cerya and Cistina to test out the endgame rewind feature, and I take back my little chart I made of them a while back where they're arguing over clothes and things. All of the sisters are defined first and foremost by Being Willing To Sacrifice Everything For Each Other and I love them so much about it

And in addition to all the Phoraena sister dynamics, looking at this scene through the perspective of Denam ALSO having a sister who's keeping herself apart because she feels unloved is so. wowowowow

And on that note Denam and Catiua are rotating around in my head 24/7!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm really so in love with how far the writers went with their argument and fallout and also insane about the bad ending in this scenario because AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!?!?!?! and also I'm just a sucker for guilt arcs and having to live with mistakes even when it'd be easier not to. Catiua's absolutely insane (affectionate) and I think it's so fun how she changes things around and really comes into her own after this.

Also I really really love that the two of them got to have such a narratively clear conversation about everything that went down!!!!! This is a complete tangent but I sometimes kind of go insane over the fact that in Triangle Strategy we really don't get to see a ton of Roland and Cordelia after they reunite and Whiteholm is retaken. They have. so many things to talk about, and Cordelia has more than a few valid reasons to feel resentment toward Roland for the way he handled retaking Whiteholm. The closest they come to really talking about how they feel is that scene where they're standing in the garden and Roland's trying to explain why he killed Avlora and Cordelia just kinda quietly goes, "I know. I get it. I can't blame you." And while that scene is fun in its own "this bad boy can fit SO many emotionally traumatized Cordelia headcanons in it" sort of way, it's also so so so nice to see Denam and Catiua do the opposite and actually sit down and hash it out for a bit. They get to talk about why they're angry!!! They both get to explain themselves and then reassure each other that they're still loved!!!! They get to be genuinely close again and work as a team!!!!! and I love that for them :)

Also with comparisons to Cordelia, Catiua very distinctly doesn't get sidelined after Denam rescues her!!!! She's an active participant in the war and really takes charge over Denam, which is very neat imo, and I love getting to see her coronation and speech at the end

THIS ATTACK SPECIFICALLY. The whole final boss was so cool but I actually gasped and sat back when I saw this, it was just so so different than any of the other graphics in the game and it made me go nuts

AAAAOAUGH GHAGHG

The credits are really pretty :)

RHCKCHHGLGLRLRLAHHJG I am once again foaming at the mouth about the way the game blends game mechanics and story this is SUCH a fun explanation for how the whole world tarot system works and also I am absolutely gutted by the idea of Denam doing this canonically because he can't stand the regret of the choices he's had to make. I feel like Denam's guilt over the entire conflict isn't explicitly mentioned a ton (he actively makes a lot of comments to the effect of "I'm doing what my honor dictates and I have nothing to be ashamed of") and then every once in a while the game comes back and slaps you with stuff like this. Like hey. hey. yasumi matsuno. can we talk? I jst wantto talkk

Also all the endgame content is SO GOOD. I'm starting to move over to Reborn because I want to experience all the voice acting and stuff over on that version, but it's also so hard to leave my team and all the cool stuff I've unlocked. I need to read up on it more but I'm 90% sure you can recruit Lancelot and Warren if you do the Palace of the Dead stuff which I avoided in Chapter 4, so I'm tempted to go back and do that on there sometime. Or mayhaps I'll just play it through on Reborn once I get through Lawful and Neutral!

But yeah!!! Overall, such a fun route and a fun game and a fun ending :) I do feel like I want to come back to Chaos route once I've finished the other two, because I miss Vyce and the role-playing part of my RPG-obsessed brain really wants him to survive the canon-ish ending because I think there's a ton of things from the beginning of the route that I'll think differently on now that I've finished (like all of the stuff building up to Vyce going nuts and Catiua leaving).

[the-gayest-show]

Through the Looking Back Glass Thoughts/Analysis

I LOVED this episode. It was very endearing and honestly heartwarming (near the end that is) and overall one of my top episodes in the series!

First off, Sofia leaning on Cedric for help with homework is so fucking CUTE. Their dynamic makes me jump up for joy, and Sofia really trusts HIM to get the job done 🥺 Even when Cordelia appears and offers to help, Sofia is still adamant to only have Cedric do it 🥺🥺🥺🥺

It's a small detail, but I think Cedric's pose changes slightly when his sister is around? Like, he's got that hunch back pose that he had in earlier seasons when she's there, it's crazy. There's probably more screenshots I could gather on this but yeah.

The song that comes up in this scene.... mmmm art. Here's me ranting about it.

I think the saddest part of the episode is really seeing Cedric and Cordelia's past dynamic because I genuinely loved it? Like. When they hugged here it was so heartwarming. The nicknames (Cordy, Ceddy) were so cute as well, I guess when they don't use the nicknames in the beginning it's to show the deterioration of their relationship over time, and somewhere in the end of this episode, Cedric starts using the nickname Cordy again which really cements the mending of the relationship. (I did get taken off guard when Cordelia called him Ceddy in the flashback bc I've always associated it with Calista. Maybe Cordelia said it around Calista and she picked it up? IDK)

Cedric is also shown to be really good at magic here. Bro did a spell that was apparently "too advanced" or something? And let's not even begin to discuss the lore implication for WANDLESS MAGIC. BRO TRIED TO REVERSE A SPELL WITH HIS BARE HANDS. THIS MAKES ALREADY INTERESTING STF LORE MUCH MORE INTERESTING.

I find it so interesting that the incident (despite having no known cause at the time) was quite literally blamed on Cedric almost immediately and everyone went with it? Like Cordelia shouts "he ruined it" and no one questions this??? Not even Cedric fending for himself worked? Whoever said in a Tumblr post that this implies that Cedric was treated like some kind of bungler/looked down upon even before this is probably right. Because why else is it just normal for everyone to jump to this conclusion? His parents don't do SHIT about it, and I'm assuming that Goodwyn holds this grudge too (if eps like Mystic Meadows mean anything). Why are they holding onto this for so long? Literally I get holding a bit of resentment but everyone makes mistakes....

Idk this went off, but basically, oof living in your father's shadow was hard AF especially with one mistake people reference in your presence.

Despite this event happening over 30 years ago, it's still somehow the ONE thing people defined him for for years. This episode really further contextualizes his motivations for wanting to become king before season 4. Imagine being rejected from society for YEARS, being belittled and made fun of, people tearing you apart for a mistake you made when you were 9-10 YEARS OLD, it's crazy. 100% that took a toll on him, something you can see in this episode and literally most episodes. It's just really sad.

I'm glad that Sofia and Calista were able to help the both of them realize that it wasn't actually Cedric's fault (something Cordelia should've realized years ago, but seeing the event happen as it did was more a confirmation for Cedric than anything). Cordelia and Cedric forgiving each other was a bit too fast considering everything but I'm glad their relationship is mending.

Credit where credit is due, she sticks up for him after this and lets Cedric do his thing and lets him help Sofia without any ifs and buts, it's sweet.

Personally, I feel that Cedric and Cordelia probably still have a semi-strained relationship after this ep (your sister being the reason you were made fun of for years, and that reason wasn't even valid to begin with defo is not smth you can recover fast from in a 22 min episode)

Also, it's not hard to believe the circumstances wouldn't have changed if the incident were truly Cedric's fault, but Cordelia needed a wakeup call I guess, that works.

Want to mention King Roland for a second because dude. Why is your first reaction to blame Cedric (again), instead of the 2 other magic users in the room (ESPECIALLY THE CHILD. Look I'm a Calista fan thru and thru but logically the blame would be shifted there to an extent??)

King Roland I thought we were over with this since Day of the Sorcerers?? What happened to being NICER to Cedric and maybe NOT blaming him for every little thing? Idk that kinda pissed me off. The fact that Cordelia was the only thing stopping Roland from interrogating the guy... THIS BEHAVIOUR IS WHY CEDRIC TRIED TO TAKE OVER YOUR KINGDOM!!! ROLAND THE 2ND YOU IDIOT!!!

In conclusion, love me a character focused episode that develops a backstory as well as a slight resolution. 1000/10 would re-experience this again.

[jennycalendar]

wait so. I HAVE MORE QUESTIONS HI

ALSO: if at any point you don't want to answer any more questions just answer my asks privately and i'll stop <3

OK SO QUESTIONS ABOUT THE GIRLIES

wait so. scoobies/bakery girlies we end up w/: Marigold/Willow, Evie/Spike/Dru (maybe), Norie/Anya. this is hilarious i love this. they are dating each other and it's going awesome <3 (false). NOW WHAT WOULD THE SCOOBIES THINK OF THE BAKERY GIRLIES. WHO WOULD THEY LIKE

i am obsessed with the brie/marigold issues. they are very fun. it is awesome. faith/evie brie/marigold marigold/willow enemies of all time. other question: would brie get along w/roslin? i kinda feel like she would

i. LOVE SOPHIE. and EVIE. my BESTIES WHO ARE SAD. also. ELODIE. (i love them all but somehting about SOPHIE EVIE ELODIE tickles my brain specifically :3). can we get some elodie information. anything about her you want to tell us.

LIONEL ALSO I FORGOT ABOUT HIM. would he get along with spike.

FANGED FOUR TIME!!! whom among bakery girlies do the fanged four hang out w

and how do the bakery girlies like the fanged four?

wait evie/spike/dru feels like it'd have some issues related to the mind control thing/seeing red? no?

anywyas. I have more questions but have to go I will SEND THEM TO YOU LATER IF YOU ARE OKAY WITH THAT OKAY THANKS

<3

HI FEEL FREE TO KEEP SENDING QUESTIONS FOREVER !!!

1. off the top of my head i would say that giles and thea were tight in college (she was surprisingly square but they ran in the same circles, idk). xander might have a thing for marigold lowkey because she's verbose and opinionated and this would Not Go Well For Him, or for willow, who would of course be fiercely jealous at even the concept of marigold paying attention to someone else (idek whats going on there man). evie and cordelia would strangely get along really really well and a lot of that has to do with mutual authenticity. buffy and roslin go get manicures together or smth

2. brie would absolutely get along with the entire bakery family really well bc she and marigold are the exact same kind of girl but the problem with this is that marigold's clinical need to be the most specialest girl in the room would kick in and have her out for blood. so yes brie would get along with roslin. for brie's safety she should not get along with roslin

3. elodie .... hm! she's fine and normal. definitely super well adjusted. she's getting such a good grade in trauma recovery and she wasn't even that traumatized anyway because nothing bad has ever happened TO her it just happened NEAR her. it's whatever. do not ask her about it

4. spike would kill lionel dead in seconds either with a well placed observation about every psychological issue that man has or just like. literally killing him. however thinking about this made me realize that i do actually believe lion and xander making out would genuinely fix them both but i do not fucking know how that could POSSIBLY happen

5/6. thea's proposed marriage to darla 17 times and darla is genuinely considering it mostly just to flip off her ex husband who's boring now. norie is obsessed with angel in the same kinda comphet crush way as she is obsessed with that serial killer she knows & angel is EXTREMELY uncomfortable with this. marigold and spike have something genuinely insane happening i think because spike is incredibly perceptive and marigold lies professionally about her feelings all the time, so she hates him on sight and he's like lol whatever i've got your number (which makes her hate him more). ros has an endless amount of patience for drusilla bc she's got a degree in Moderately Creepy Little Sister Who's Actually Soft At Heart so she WILL take tea and cakes w miss edith, for sure. sofie is not allowed near the vampires but keeps on trying to socialize w drusilla who is definitely interested in killing her lowkey (which is giving marigold a constant heart attack).

7. i do believe that the entire seeing red situation would shatter evie more than she's already been shattered and my girl does not need that psychologically which is why she is not IN the buffyverse!!! her vampires treat her right. she's the princess (the girls that get it get it)

[dreamofmysoul-tsc]

Things I loved about Chain of Thorns:

the peace each character feels at the end, how secure they are in themselves and their relationships

the Westminster Abbey battle (specifically James stabbing himself w Cortana, the gasp I gusped omg)

Alastair calling Thomas beautiful (multiple times 😌)

ARI 👏🏻 BRIDGESTOCK 👏🏻 MY BELOVED!!

Matthew slowly realizing he is deserving of happiness + his excitement to travel the world and see all its beauty :)

The portrayal of alcohol withdrawal and how tactfully Cassie handled addiction all throughout this series. My dad has been an alcoholic my whole life and I really can’t express enough how grateful I feel towards this series for portraying addiction in all its harsh realities while also making sure that readers understand addiction almost always stems from shame and self hatred. The kindness and gentleness expressed to Matthew and the sorrow, regret, and anger towards Elias are feelings I understand all too well. I’m rambling at this point but basically, thank you Cassie for portraying alcoholics as more than just deadbeats. Thank you for giving them dignity and humanity and thank you thank you thank you for portraying an addict that is not “fixed” by their love interest or their friends and family, but heals because they want too and because they genuinely believe they deserve it. I can’t explain how much that means to me.

Grace. Was pleasantly surprised by her character arc

JAMES HERONDALE MY BELOVED, IF JAMES HERONDALE HAS 1000 FANS I AM ONE OF THEM, IF JAMES HERONDALE HAS 1 FAN, ITS ME, IF JAMES HERONDALE HAS 0 FANS, I AM DEAD

Every scene with Lilith is always so fun but so terrifying

Alastair calling Thomas “my Thomas” no one speak to me

Belial basically being smote down by God at the end???? Is there a god in this universe?? Will we see him in TWP? Final battle between Heaven and Hell??? Omg

so is Cassie implying that Esme Hardcastle’s family tree she’s working on is the one from CP2? And the reason why it’s so fucked is because she was just making stuff up?? Because if so, that’s hysterical

James pointing his pistol at Lilith and going “try me.” Bitch, the way I just about fainted

JAMES HEALING MATTHEW IN EDOM W IRATZES BASICALLY THROUGH FORCE OF WILL AND SUCCEEDING, LIKE WHAT KIND OF BLACKSTAIRS SHIT IS THIS-

Manifesting a short story collection of Matthew on his voyage

Things I really did not like about Chain of Thorns:

How quick Christopher’s death was and how no one seemed to really feel effected by it?? Like we didn’t even see his parents grieving?? At first I boiled it down to, well, they’re in the heat of battle and Prince of Hell BS so they probably don’t really have time to grieve but even after all that ended, we just kinda…glossed over it? The most sentimental moment we got was Grace hearing his ghost and even then, it seemed mostly for plot

Matthew and James not having their own little moment in the epilogue but that may just be me because honestly I could read a whole book of James and Matthew’s little moments and be completely happy

Lack of Magnus. Also the lack of Magnus walking in on a couple making out. What kinda finale is it without Magnus walking in on a couple in a compromising position??

I love series traditions and I was a bit sad we didn’t get a wedding in the epilogue

As much as I love seeing everyone happy and at peace at the end, it felt so out of place compared to the other series’ epilogues. No foreshadowing to other series aside from Malcolm, no hints for TWP, no hints of what’s to come. I suppose the Coda sort of did that but I don’t know if the Belial we see in the Coda is talking about Jem’s interaction w him in GotSM or if it relates to TWP as well?? Idk, I just felt there were things to be desired

The lack of “Lucie? Lucie, is that you?” or “Cordelia? Cordelia, is that you?” (I know they weren’t parabatai until the next year but still)

I truly adore TLH, but one thing that has always felt disjointed to me is how…domestic? it all seems at first? Like, the actual battles and high stakes moments only happen within the last like 200 pages while the rest of it seems mostly roaming around and talking about feelings/being emotionally constipated (don’t get me wrong, I love both those things but I also love the action)

I wish Cassie would take more risks sometimes. Like as heartbreaking Livvy’s death was in LoS, that was one of the first times I remember thinking “wow, I genuinely don’t know if any of these characters are gonna be ok by the end of this” I’m hoping with TWP, I can also have some of that doubt back, because I like feeling like I don’t 100% know if a character is gonna survive this, you know? The fact that only one person died, a character that (to me) always seemed used as mostly a plot device, was a bit disappointing

Overall, I adore this series. I adore this cast and I honestly can’t believe it’s over ;-; I can’t wait for TWP, as much as I know that goodbye will I hurt even worse 😭

[melanielocke]

Book recommendations - Complete series

The results of the poll I put up are so far inconclusive (pretty much every category got the same amount of votes), so I'm probably going to do all of them but I'm going to start with complete series. As a note, for now I'm trying to not repeat books, so at the end I'll mention books I have already covered that also fit the criteria.

I almost always buy books before the series is complete. I'm not sure why, though I do find it more convenient to not have to buy a six book series in one go because that can get expensive even if they're all out in paperback. Not to mention getting matching editions can be a struggle. There's also the issue that books might nog get sequels if not enough people buy the first book.

But sometimes it's nice to be able to read all the books in a series after each other. You can go into book two still remembering what happened in book 1, something I regularly struggle with. I went into Chain of Iron not remembering what was going on with James and Cordelia and why they were getting married and had to look up a lot. And you won't have to wait 1-2 years for the sequel after reading a book that ended on a serious cliffhanger. For that reason, I have put together this list of complete series that I would recommend. There are a little more books in this picture than usual, mainly because they're all complete series.

All of them are duology's or trilogy's, interestingly enough I couldn't find many series that are longer and I feel like duology's especially have been popular lately.

I'm starting with Black Wings Beating by Alex London

This is a trilogy set in Uztar, a land that worships birds of prey and falconers, and follows twins Brysen and Kylee. Brysen wants nothing more than to be a great falconer, but is not particularly talented at it, whereas Kylee, who does have the gift to speak the hollow tongue of the birds, would rather escape falconry forever. When Brysen's boyfriend gets in trouble, he needs a ghost eagle to get out, something he'd promised a debtor he'd get, and so Brysen sets out to the mountains to capture a ghost eagle, whereas Kylee follows him to keep him safe. This is a very underrated series, which is sad because it's very good. An interesting and unique magic system that relates to the language of birds of prey, a heavy focus on the complicated sibling relationship between twins who grew up in an abusive household, two queer main characters. Brysen is gay and Kylee is ace/aro. Brysen is kind of a dumbass who regularly needs to be saved from himself but I loved him regardless, whereas Kylee is very protective of him and mainly goes along because she wants to keep him safe.

Also by this author: Proxy duology (YA); Battle Dragons series (MG), neither of which I read

Next up is Dread Nation by Justina Ireland

This is an alternate history duology with the premise of the American civil war ending in a zombie apocalypse. The solution to this problem? Training Black and Indigenous people to fight the zombies. Jane McKeene is a Black girl going to school to become an attendant, a personal bodyguard for rich ladies, which is a better option than fighting in the frontlines. But people are going missing, and Jane finds herself caught up in a conspiracy by people looking to return America to former glory days. I think this series was an interesting take on zombies. It's been a while since I read this one, so I don't remember the details as well, but I do remember Katherine being one of my favorites in this series. She's also on the cover of the second book, which is on the picture, and I thought her and Jane's friendship was one of the most interesting developments, especially since they dislike each other at first. One of the main villains was also really interesting and really unexpected, I won't give too much away about this character but it was very well done. It's also a queer book series, with Jane being bi and Katherine ace/aro. It's fast paced, especially in the second book, and there's lots of action, making this an easy series to get through.

Also by this author: Dread Nation was her big breakthrough, but she's published several relatively unknown YA books before that, which I haven't read, including Vengeance Bound and a Promise of Shadows. Her most recent book is a Rust in the Root, which I haven't read yet but is on my wishlist.

Then I have the Girls of Paper and Fire series by Natasha Ngan

Somehow with this series I ended up having three different editions. I didn't even realize I'd ordered the last one in paperback, but the hardcover was so expensive I'd just left it this way. Could look better on my book shelf, but it could also be a lot worse. Sometimes publishers publish a regular UK edition paperback and then for the next book it ends up being a very big UK paperback much like the one I have for this series and it looks terrible.

This series is sapphic fantasy trilogy set in an Asia inspired world ruled by demons. Demons in this case are antropomorphic animals, also known as the Moon caste. In between are the Steel caste which are humans with animal traits and the lowest and most vulnerable caste are the Paper caste, which are humans. Each year, eight human girls are chosen to serve the king as Paper Girls, which are essentially concubines. This year, there are nine, and the ninth is Lei, a wide eyed country girl who lives in a village with her father and is taken away to the palace. There, she falls in love with one of the other Paper Girls and ends up caught in a rebellion against the king and the caste system. This book deals with heavy topics, including sexual assault, and I do not remember 100% if there is rape on page but I think there might be, so be careful with that. The first book is mainly set in the palace, but the second and third explore the rest of this world a bit more, and I think the world building was very well done, and the world building is very complex, with lots of issues with some people on the rebellion side too rather than just king bad rebellion good. The love interest especially ends up being rather morally grey at times.

Other books by this author: The Elites and The Memory Keepers were both published before this series, neither of which I read

We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia is a dystopian duology set on the latine inspired island nation of Medio.

This world is divided between the inner and outer parts of the island with a wall seperating them. The outer parts are barely habitable due to the salt on the land, but the wall keeps them out of the inner part, whereas the inner part is wealthiest. The upper class of Medio has a tradition that all men, who are in power, have two wives to support them. A primera is more intellectual, she keeps track of the household, servants and supports her husband in politics. The segunda is more emotional and sexual. She is the one who has sex with the man and has his children and raises them, but Segunda's are also taught to be charming, to play with other people's emotions and soothe the husband etc. The main character, Dani, was born on the outer side of the island, but her parents fought very hard to get her a better life. They got her a forged upper class pedigree and got her enrolled in a school for Medio girls to train them in one of the two wife roles, in Dani's case as a Primera. At the beginning of the book, she marries the son of an important politician, and is approached by a rebel organization to spy for them, leaving her with a difficult choice. What I thought was very interesting about Dani as a character is that she's so conflicted about her role in this world. Her first instinct is to cling to the privilege her upper class position grants her, after all, her parents sacrificed so much to give her that, but she also has the chance to fight for a better Medio for everyone, and has to make a choice. Along the way, she grows closer to her husband's Segunda Carmen, a girl she used to hate in school, and falls in love with her. I won't give too much away about book 2, except that in book 2 Carmen is the protagonist, which worked really well in this duology and I liked her POV a lot, perhaps even better than Dani's.

Other books by this author: Paola Santiago series, a middle grade published by Rick Riordan's imprint.

Upcoming: Lucha of the Night Forest, a YA fantasy coming 3-2023

Crier's War by Nina Varela

This is a duology in which humans made a race of automatae that look exactly like humans but better looking, smarter etc. And eventually, the automatons took over from humans. This duology is told from the alternating POV of Crier and Ayla. Ayla is a human girl who lost her family to the Automae and wants revenge. And she intends to get it by killing Crier. Crier is the daughter of the Sovereign, which in the case of Automae means she was constructed by his wishes since Automae are made and not born. Crier was to follow in his footsteps and become the new Governor, but her father might not be as good a person as she always believed, and her betrothed Kinok is definitely not someone she trusts. And then she meets Ayla. This book is an enemies to lover between Crier and Ayla, except that it is really one sided enemies. Ayla wants to kill Crier at first, but Crier is kind of a useless gay from the beginning, which I think creates a hilarious dynamic. There's lots of twists and turns in this series, especially with Crier finding out more about her origin and about her fiancé Kinok's plans for this world, but also Ayla's family's origin and their role in the creation of the Automae.

Upcoming by this author: Juniper Harvey and the Vanishing Kingdom, a middle grade fantasy

The last duology I'll be discussing is A Song of Wraiths and Ruin, which seems like a very stereotypical YA fantasy title, but is the first book in a very good fantasy duology set in a west Africa inspired world (the author is from Ghana specifically).

Ziran is a prosperous city in the desert surrounded by many poor and war stricken areas. Malik has fled from his home with his two sisters to go to Ziran and start a new life, but his younger sister Nadia is abducted by a vengeful spirit in exchange for passage into the city. Desperate, Malik strikes a deal with the spirit to get his sister back - if he kills princess Karina. And so he enters the city's Solstasia competition to get close to her.

Princess Karina is far from ready to take on any royal responsibilities, but when her mother, the Sultana, is assassinated, Karina has to take the throne. Far from ready for this role, Karina decides that instead she's going to bring back her mother from the dead. She finds an ancient spell to help her. The only problem, she needs the heart of a king. So during the upcoming Solstasia competition, she offers her hand in marriage to the victor.

During the first book, Karina and Malik meet a couple of times and have their own plot, but their stories also intertwine a lot, and during this whole time they are essentially trying to kill each other without the other having any clue, making this an interesting take on enemies to lovers. Nor do either of time really want to kill the other, it's more of a necessity for their respective goals in saving family members, which I guess is understandable? I loved Malik immediately. He's sensitive, anxious, traumatized, and will do anything for his sisters. Karina took a little more time since she's a little unlikeable at first but she's really one of those characters who grows on you.

The plot of this book is also very good and there are some well thought out plot twists that I didn't see coming and interesting world building that deals with topics such as immigration. The second book especially is rather long and it's not a very fast paced series, which is often the case with more world building heavy stories so that has to be your thing.

Other books by the author: Serwa Boateng's guide to Vampire Hunting, which is the first in a middle grade series published with Rick Riordan presents

Complete series I've covered in previous recommendation posts: This Poison Heart & This Wicked Fate by Kalynn Bayron

Let me know if you've read any of those, and it's still possible to vote on the poll for which category books I'll cover next.

@alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @life-through-the-eyes-of @astriefer @justanormaldemon @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @amchara @all-for-the-fanfiction @imsoftforthomastair @ddepressedbookworm @queenlilith43 @wagner-fell @cant-think-of-anything @laylax13s @tessherongraystairs @boredfangirl16 @artist-in-soul @bottomdelioncourt @ikissedsmithparker

[suits-of-woe]

King Lear at Shakespeare's Globe

england trip shakespeare insanity continues -- today i got to see opening night of the production of king lear at the globe. let's GOOOOOOOO

god the energy of being at the globe is just fucking unparalleled. there's nothing like it. the audience interaction is so intoxicating to be a part of, everyone's laughing and gasping and clapping at moments that you'd normally be expected to be silent for in a typical theatre. and this lear got to be FUNNY. it was still a tragedy obviously but the comedic elements played so well in this setting. lear picked out an audience member to play off for "what was thy cause? adultery?" and edmund's "both? one? or neither?" brought down the house it was sooooo much fun

casting! first of all michelle terry cordelia/lear double cast made me crazy as i knew it would. it was kind of ambiguous whether they were intended to be the same character – it was never explicit, but there were moments that hit so well because of the double casting. just moments of care for lear where she looked SO sad. when lear asked goneril "are you our daughter?" the fool was standing right behind her and i. hhhhhhhhh. then in 3.6 the fool fell asleep along with lear and just didn't wake up. gloucester felt him for a pulse and he was dead. but then after everyone else had exited he got up and walked offstage which might have just been a logistical thing but felt like almost a second chance for the fool as cordelia. just like being the fool might have been a second chance for cordelia after she got banished. don't know if this makes sense but god i'm crazy

kathryn hunter is a fantastic actor, she was a more subdued lear than i've seen before which worked really well in some moments but in others felt like it lacked a bit of energy, just cause the emotionality for stuff like the storm scene didn't escalate that much. but in her quieter moments she KILLED. and she was physically so much smaller than almost everyone onstage which really emphasized lear's vulnerability and hurt

okay i owe an apology to ryan donaldson edmund because i kept making fun of him for looking like white jesus and also making the "no bitches" face in his headshot but. okay. i am not immune. possibly he's hotter from afar than he would be up close but he was a good edmund and by that i do mean sexy. his chemistry with the sisters was great and he played off the audience SO well. also he was scottish. hiiiiii sir. oh to be the groundling he winked at when he said "my mind as generous...and my shape as true ;)"

ann ogbomo was a really great goneril, she wasn't as sad and fucked up as my dream portrayal but her energy was fantastic. i just think that women. she was also double cast as curan which is the closest i've seen any production come to my "edmund and curan are for sure fucking" agenda so i'll take what i can get

marianne oldham was a solid regan! i liked almost everything about her except that in 5.1 and 5.3 she was inexplicably wearing like. a shiny metallic bikini top under a camo trench coat which ???? that was. a choice. unfortunately she was hindered by the fact that mark jax as cornwall just did not really know his lines tonight. which makes sense cause it was opening night and apparently the director of this prod got in a car crash recently so they had to scramble to put things together but the fact that he had to adlib a few times was a little disappointing, plus he just didn't have much of an intimidating presence

kwaku mills edgar good! not thee most amazing i've ever seen but i really enjoyed his performance. he was definitely very naive and sweet at the start so it hurt to see him break

gabriel akuwudike was also a really good kent, he was younger than most people i've seen in the role which i think made me like him more. he was very much styled like a soldier in the first scene and it was so clear that he's just been putting himself on the line for lear his whole life and this was no exception

OH AND WOMAN FRANCE. she didn't have a huge part obviously but woman france made her and cordelia standing together while lear banished her hit different. and they gave her a bunch of cordelia's servants' lines in act 4 so it was like. cordelia had her husband there for her. crying just a little

in the first scene goneril was wearing a HOT all black suit situation and regan had a bit of armor on her shoulder. and albany was in a tux while cornwall had a military outfit which i think was a cool way to show the contrast between the sisters. cordelia was in all white. lear also forgot albany's name in that scene and had to be prompted by cordelia which was interesting because it was an obvious sign of dementia but also kind of a contradiction to the idea that he favoured albany and a sign that maybe goneril was the least favourite

regan sat in the throne during her and goneril's conversation at the end of 1.1 at one point. girlboss

after edmund cut himself in 2.1 he was acting like he was in a LOT of pain and i don't know if that was acting to get gloucester's sympathy or if he'd actually injured himself worse than he intended but either way i'm :((( and gloucester DID actually show concern for him and so did regan once she entered. possibly more concern than cornwall was a fan of

in 2.3 gloucester's armed guards came onstage during edgar's soliloquy and he had to hide himself under something AND THEN THEY FOUND HIS HIDING PLACE which was so tense and he burst out and screamed the "poor turlygod! poor tom!" line to scare them off in this desperate moment and it worked. it slapped

the eye scene jesus christ. there was a servant who had a tray with wine and two glasses and regan fully just got herself a glass of wine during the scene which. scream. but also. there was a corkscrew. so you can guess how THAT went. i'm usually pretty immune to the eye scene but that made me cringe. HOWEVER my complaint was that the servant holding the wine wasn't the servant who went for cornwall, it was more of a soldier type but i think it would've been cooler to have it be someone who obviously wasn't used to combat and shouldn't have stood a chance taking him down. also regan sat down and fully ignored cornwall while he was bleeding out which isn't usually my favourite choice but i didn't like this cornwall so good for her

i will say one thing about the globe is because they can't do blackouts where "dead" characters can just walk offstage without the audience seeing, a bunch of people walked off "mortally wounded" but looking like. pretty much fine. just a thing about the venue ig

the play had several scenes where servants were shown just doing things! like preparing a meal in 1.2 or in transitions between scenes and i liked that it emphasized the fact that there ARE people in this world who aren't noble even when they aren't playing a specific part in the play. and the staging of 5.2 had just servants running from the battle while gloucester cowered and smoke poured from backstage. we didn't see the nobles fighting, just the impact on the people, and i liked that

lear used a wheelchair at various points throughout the play and then in 5.3 he wheeled dead cordelia onstage in that same wheelchair instead of carrying her. and then at the very end tried to put her feet on the ground and help her up to her feet. what if i fucking sobbed. that scene always killed but this staging in particular got me

in conclusion lear good and the globe SO fun that i'm actually looking forward to seeing h*nry viii in a few days cause if anything can make me like it it's that

[prongsevermore]

I think lucie has always felt a little bit left out by everyone around her.

growing up she was showered by her parent's and family's love but when james manifested his powers wessa started to worry about him and james became their main concern, leaving lucie aside. of course they love her but maybe she felt as if she had to pretend everything is okay so as not to worry their parents even more. she even may have diminished her own sadness or fears, telling herself she shouldn't bother them with such trivial or dumb things.

james is a good older brother, he loves lucie and she knows he will always protect her. but lucie also knows he won't tell her everything, seeing her as too young or unable to help or understand what he's going through, which may be true but still she would like to support him somehow.

the merry thieves are kind to her, like brothers too. but they treat her as james's little sister, not as one of them. same thing with her other cousins, they are all older than her and have their own thing going on.

and cordelia, the only one who may be able to listen and understand her, is miles and miles away and lucie just doesn't feel like dropping all of this on her since she knows cordelia feels lonely traveling all the time and being unable to make friends.

so lucie grew up and just got used to mask her feelings and thoughts, to pour them into words, somewhere where she can be sincere without feeling guilty even tho she knows it's not her family nor cordelia's fault. even tho she knows that if she address these things to them they would listen. but as I said, she just got used to hide everything from the others.

and then comes jesse, her boy from the forest, who actually sees her and, ironically she's not supposed to see him, but she does.

i think like lucie fell so hard for jesse because it may be the first time lucie felt as if someone actually saw her like herself, not someone's daughter, sister or friend, but her. and he liked her, he genuinely enjoyed her company and got to know her in a way no one else did it before.

[brightwoods]

Oh me? I’m just thinking about how even the characters who don’t have a problem with Alastair at this point (with the one exception of of Cordelia’s one comment to Thomas that was far tamer than things other characters say about him and that if it was going to be to Thomas couldn’t even be after Thomas threatened to throw him in the Thames right in front of her face at her wedding which was certainly worse) won’t say a word to defend him or even establish to people who do have a problem with him that they don’t

Like we’ve got

1. Cordelia who has never said a word about anything her friends have said about Alastair in front of him when they’ve been blatantly making snarky comments about him in front of her and she won’t even tell them not to say those things around her

She also never actually stood up for him in that one context with Thomas. She just asked if he just remembered that Alastair was her brother and at least she did say well he’s my brother and I love him but she still constantly excuses negative comments about him and never corrects them or says something about their comments in front of Alastair or even to him separately about it

Like it felt very well yeah he sucks but he’s my brother and I love him more than a defence

Also she never even said a simple that’s not the only good thing he’s done when Matthew eavesdropped on her private conversation with Alastair and then showed up with the backhanded comment like wow can you believe I happened to hear the only decent thing Alastair has ever said or done in his entire life when he very easily could have just talked about what he came there for instead of making comments at Alastair’s expense for his audience of only Cordelia who from what he’s seen doesn’t really seem to have a problem with any comments about Alastair in front of her

2. Thomas who used to annoy the hell out of his friends constantly going out of his way to interact with Alastair and ask about his feelings and treat him like a person but no longer did that after the Academy which yes is partly because of how his friends acted every time he mentioned Alastair or spoke to him but also Thomas is out here with feelings for Alastair and staying absolutely silent on the negative comments about him from other people instead of disagreeing or defending him or saying anything about not wanting to hear it

And then even worse, after he found out about the rumour he actively joined in and started talking shit about Alastair publicly whether Alastair was there or not... which yes, he was mad, I get that and it’s not like Alastair didn’t use to talk shit about him in front of other people

But the part that really gets me is that in the Sanctuary, Thomas never says anything to take those things back or to contradict any of the negative shit that’s the general consensus about him. He goes on about how much he wanted to hate Alastair and tried to and about how hot Alastair is and about how Alastair was always his secret and was his favourite part of his trip and he kisses him with no one around but he doesn’t really say anything that’s definitively about Alastair as a person beyond his physical appearance, sexuality, and availability

He basically said hey let’s pretend that no one else exists and Paris was the first time we met and make out so that we don’t have to think about any consequences or anyone outside or this room and then wondered why Alastair went oh your friends hate me, this isn’t possible once they were both free and all the evidence up to that point suggested that Thomas was still years past the point of sticking his neck out for Alastair in front of his friends no matter what his friends said and no matter how much he liked him

(He also did not say anything that we got to see after that about Alastair or to him in front of anyone else beyond trusting him in the fight with him and Christopher but then it was Thomas and other characters talking after with Alastair off on his own when Cordelia got there already again which we don’t have full context for but seems like Thomas went right back into his behaviour from before the sanctuary and before the rumour where he’s not saying things against Alastair and sure he’s tolerating him around other people but he’s also not saying anything in his favour or establishing that he doesn’t actively have a problem with Alastair and think he’s a horrible person anymore (which hopefully will come up with other characters later but at this point we have seen no hints of in what we saw of Thomas around other characters after the Sanctuary scene)

3. James who forgave Alastair and is willing to be civil and kind to him away from his friends and then just doesn’t really speak to or acknowledge him in front of his friends... and in front of other people tells Alastair that he had better treat Cordelia well or he won’t let him in their house or be civil to him anymore as it Alastair hadn’t been treating her well before that point and it was James’ warning that would inspire his behaviour around her

It’s also interesting how there’s silence or that in public but in private he will say that no one judges Alastair for his father’s drinking problem and will talk to him about Thomas and Matthew and giving them time

James seems to think Alastair deserves a chance but also has no intention of letting anyone else catch on that he thinks that even when Alastair tells him how he’s trying to make amends and he doesn’t know how to fix it if no one will let him apologize

Like sure James is over old things and is better than actively complaining about Alastair and being rude to him... but he also lets his friends say whatever they want about Alastair without ever saying a word about it, even when his friends are threatening his wife’s brother in front of her at their wedding

Sure, he has less obligation to speak up for Alastair, but also when he married into the family and then continues to listen to it constantly without even blinking at anything said about him is definitely worse than if he wasn’t married to Cordelia (and also I’m still including him even if he has a lot less obligation to speak up for him because he is still another person that’s like oh sure Alastair’s alright but don’t tell anyone I said that, I’m certainly not going to show that I’m on decent terms with him in front of anyone else)

4. And then obviously there was Charles who would never say anything remotely positive about him in front of anyone else and pretty much doesn’t acknowledge his existence around other people except for that time that he called him pathetic in front of Cordelia which yikes what a way to try to get an ex back, I wonder why it didn’t work...

5. And okay listen I know that Christopher is by no means the main issue at all and that he doesn’t really seem to have a problem with Alastair, but he very much follows along with what the other Merry Thieves think... like sure he won’t say anything against Alastair but he won’t say anything for him either or say anything about the constant comments the others make and it’s very clear in Chain of Iron that he entirely takes his cues for whether they’re tolerating and acknowledging Alastair or not from the other Merry Thieves where it’s like oh we have a problem with Alastair now... oh he got Thomas out and now Thomas is not ac to very threatening him so he must be alright to fight with okay...

Like Christopher doesn’t have an obligation to say anything about the way the others talk about him or anything when he doesn’t really have any ties to Alastair or reason to speak up but he is another character that’s like well I don’t have a problem with him but okay let’s all go along with this group mindset about him that at this point is just Matthew hating him so loudly that everyone goes oh okay we’re supposed to not like him and not stir the pot by saying anything to contradict that (and Thomas hating him just as loudly for a while before Christopher saw oh okay I think Thomas might be over it? which hopefully means Christopher’s going to be more likely to show that he’s willing to talk to Alastair and tolerate being around him during Chain of Thorns which it’s sad to say in this series is a high bar for how people treat Alastair even though that should be a the bar is on the floor moment)

And this post is way longer than I meant for it to get, but my point is that you know that Alastair thinks he still deserves having no one defend him or even show they’re okay enough with him to tolerate him when anyone else is around because at the Academy he didn’t defend anyone else and targeted other people that no one was standing up for just like he’s being targeted so it must be karma that even when he manages to claw his way up to people having a better opinion of him and not actively thinking that he deserves to be hated, those people still stay silent around and about him so that the only things said about him are still negative

And anyway if at least 4 characters don’t have an interaction with Alastair that isn’t negative and that isn’t when they’re alone with him or with just the Carstairs in Chain of Thorns then I am going to scream in rage for the rest of eternity

[oveliagirlhaditright]

The Buffy book "Here be Monsters" was also really good. I'm not sure if this author did any other Buffy books than this one (I don't think I've read any other books by them yet if they did do more, anyway), but I hope that they did. They seemed to have a knack for it. I like the look into Buffy's psyche that we got here and the payoff from that. It was nicely done. Just an overall nice book, imo.

Then the book "Immortal"... I feel like I should like it more than I did. And I did like it, don't get me wrong. Like, the idea that a certain vampire's essence could go into to others who got turned every time she got staked, and really be immortal that way is definitely an interesting one (this girl made for a formidable villain, that's for sure). But IDK. I just really didn't like said villain. I feel like we almost spent too much time with her and I almost got annoyed with her because of that, but maybe that's just me.

And Joyce having a cancer scare before season five is definitely a great idea. I feel like that works well into canon. Buffy can be strong and everyone's rock in season five, because she's dealt with the idea of this before. (Edit: It also makes it seem like Joyce had cancer before season five and the doctors just didn't catch it back here, and should have, but didn't. Like, maybe they almost did catch it, but didn't. Alas.)

Buffy even resenting Angel for being immortal, and not believing that deaths mean the same thing to him anymore as they do to humans, was a nice bit of angst (and the fact that even though they made amends, they chose to leave the book on a sort of sad and more realistic tone was definitely a brave decision [Angel telling Buffy that if she died, he would die. But her not really believing him and saying that he might grieve and leave flowers at her grave for fifty years, but eventually he'd move on since he's immortal and that's kind of the nature of it: and Angel doesn't contradict her there, either because he knows Buffy won't believe him, or maybe because deep down he knows she's right. or a little of both), but I almost feel like this book was a little too much depression for me.

That, and the fact that this is after Xander's cheated on Cordelia so they're having their issues here, too.

It was almost too much angst with all of that, and the fact that the villains seemed unstoppable for most of the story.

But all that being said, I definitely did enjoy it (and I'm definitely not mentioning all the good things about it here, either) and thought there were some amazing premises here.

And it's definitely not my least favorite of the tie-in books thus far.

Oh, and seeing Angel almost being tempted to turn Buffy so he'd never lose her to death--before realizing that it wouldn't really be Buffy he was keeping, but a demon possessing her body--was also intriguing, because I always wondered if he ever thought about doing that. What he totally didn't think about, though, was that maybe Buffy could be cursed with her soul like he was. But real talk, I'm of course glad he gave up this thought.

[alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer]

if this was a dream pt. 2

Part 1 | AO3 | Fanfiction Masterlist

Thomas tried to steady himself as Alastair walked - no, more like ran - away. What was he doing here, by his bedside? In what universe would his parents allow Alastair Carstairs to sit with him while they slept? He seemed to recall many nights in his youth when his mother refused to sleep at all when he was unwell. 

His mind ran through countless possibilities, each one less likely than the last, until his parents rushed into his room. He pushed those thoughts aside as mother ran to him, cupping his face in her hands and gently kissing his forehead. “We were so worried. How are you feeling?” 

Besides blinding rage? He took a moment to actually consider the question. He’d been too distracted by the Alastair fiasco to take notice of it all. Alastair said that he had been injured. “Er, my head hurts, but other than that, I feel alright.”

She smiled. “That’s good. You were attacked on patrol about three days ago, and your injuries were quite severe. There’s a Silent Brother lingering around here somewhere, we should fetch him to check on you. I’m so glad you’re feeling alright, love.” 

“Alright is one word for not being able to remember the past six months,” Eugenia commented, appearing in the doorway. 

Both of his parents looked alarmed. “What do you mean?” his father asked. 

“That’s what-” She cut herself off abruptly. “Thomas, what month is it?” 

“Um…” He thought for a moment. Now that she mentioned it, he was feeling a bit blurry. Was the engagement party last week? Two weeks ago, perhaps? “It’s August.”

His mother looked at him worriedly. 

“What?” 

“It’s February,” Eugenia answered. She was always the most blunt out of all of them.

Thomas wasn’t sure how to respond, but his mother quickly reassured, “That’s alright, dear. I’ll go find the Silent Brother now. I’m sure this will pass as your head heals.” 

She left the room and Eugenia came to the chair that Alastair had been sitting in earlier. She sighed. “I know you’re mad at him.” It took him a moment to realize she was talking about Alastair. “You should be, but also… try to keep in mind that a lot has happened over the past six months.” 

He could feel the anger rising in his bloodstream again, but there was only so much he was willing to say with his father present. “Forgive me if I find it hard to believe that…” He trailed off. What was being implied here? He had no idea what was happening at all. 

“Believe what you must, then,” Eugenia exhaled. 

“Well, what did happen in the last six months?” 

Eugenia thought for a moment. “Hm, let’s see… Well, Rosamund and Thoby got engaged. Cordelia and James got married, kind of. Matthew got a flat! And a car. And he’s trying to quit drinking now, though that’s a bit new, maybe don’t bring it up. Let’s see… There was the whole serial killer bit, we fought a couple of Princes of Hell, Lilith showed up, Lucie raised Jesse Blackthorn from the dead… Oh, I’m sure I’m missing some things. Your friends can explain it better.” 

Thomas could only stare in response. 

“See? Is your relationship with Alastair Carstairs truly the most shocking thing to have happened in the past six months?” 

Thomas’ head had ached before, but now he could feel it pounding, trying to process all that his sister had just rattled off. “I- What-” He flashed his gaze towards his father, who seemed a bit concerned, but not the least bit surprised or upset. “My- I don’t-” 

“I can see now that I’ve said far too much. You know what? It’s fine. Most of that doesn’t even matter anyways. The parts that do, well, you’ll figure them out. Besides, your memories may come back soon enough anyways. And it’s all truly not as dramatic as it sounds listed out like that.” 

Thomas closed his eyes and tried to shove all of those thoughts, his sister’s words, the many questions needing answers, into some corner of his brain to be picked up later. “Perhaps we can just… avoid that as a topic of conversation.” 

“Of course,” his sister said quickly. “By ‘that’ you mean-” 

Gideon cut her off by clearing his throat. “Genie, would you please find Bridget and request some food be brought up for your brother, now that he’s awake.” 

She shot out of her seat with nervous energy. “Of course. I’ll be back.” 

Once she was out the door, he chuckled gently. “I have no idea how she still has that much energy after staying awake for nearly three straight days.” 

Thomas bit at the inside of his lip. “It was bad, wasn’t it?” 

Gideon nodded solemnly. “You’re alright now, though, and you’re awake. That’s what is important.” He paused. “I know this has all been a lot to take in, but you needn’t worry about any of it, truly. All that matters to any of us right now is that you heal. You should try to rest, if only because Eugenia is less likely to harass you if it looks like you’re sleeping.” 

He gave him a small smile and tried to relax. He attempted, unsuccessfully, to quiet the noise in his brain. Alastair, sitting by his bedside. The look on Alastair’s face as he fled the room. How his entire family had seemingly accepted Alastair as part of his life, as his… partner? Had Alastair sat with them these three long days, hoping, praying, that he would wake? 

It didn’t make sense. Alastair had spread cruel rumors, terrible lies, about Thomas’ family. Rumors that had made his mother weep. He’d hurt Matthew so badly that the scars showed even now, four years later. He’d had a crush on Alastair in school, of course. Just a silly schoolboy crush, running after the witty and mysterious older boy with cutting words and sad eyes. Thomas had thought, for a moment, that he was falling in love with him, back in Paris. He kicked himself at the thought of it now. He’d been terribly lonely and feeling alienated, of course he would fall at the feet of the first person he connected with. 

He felt it again, though, when Alastair arrived in London, in those stolen conversations at parties or in the laboratory. He knew now that the Alastair he’d shown to Thomas was not true. It was a facade he put on to please him, a trick. That Alastair would never be able to say such terrible things about his loved ones, even as some strange, sick act. This must be another trick, Thomas thought, one that he’d seemingly convinced not only Thomas of but everyone else, too. 

Thomas silently scolded himself. There were much bigger issues to worry about than Alastair Carstairs’ games, such as the fact that he’d nearly died a few days prior or that Lucie had apparently raised Jesse Blackthorn from the dead. Those were the types of things that he should be worried about, or even the fact that this meant that it had been over half a year without his sister, or that he’d turned 19 last month and could not remember. And yet, his mind lingered. 

His mother returned soon after with Brother Shadrach. Thomas allowed himself a moment of silent relief that it was not Brother Zachariah. He had no issue with Jem, but he suspected that his presence would make it a bit difficult to keep his mind off of a different Carstairs. 

Brother Shadrach did a short physical evaluation. Thomas still had several wounds that had not finished healing, but they were reportedly improving nicely. His head injury was a different story. 

With these types of injuries, recent memories are typically more affected than older ones. Only time will tell whether the amnesia is temporary or not. It is likely that even if you begin to regain your older memories, some of your most recent memories will never return, even if that is merely the days or weeks leading up to the attack. 

Sophie thanked him for all of his help, and he left them with orders that Thomas be allowed light physical activity as he finished healing, though he should avoid anything that may make his headache worsen, such as reading. Or Alastair Carstairs, Thomas had wanted to add, though he did not. 

Over the next several hours, his family tapered off in shifts, finally allowing themselves much-needed rest and meals now that they were certain that Thomas was alright. 

It was Eugenia’s shift when he woke from a nap with too much restless energy to lie in bed any longer. “I’m going to walk around a bit,” he announced. 

She sat up, closing the book she was reading. “I’ll come with you, then.” 

“That’s alright, you don’t need to. Brother Shadrach said I’m allowed to walk around. I’m meant to avoid headaches, though, and I’d rather not have you talking my ears off.” 

Genie’s face fell. “Oh.” 

“I didn’t- That came out wrong. I only meant that I’d like some time alone.” 

“I know what you meant.” She looked back down at the book in her lap. “Go. You have until I finish this chapter, and then I’m coming to find you.” 

His wandering eventually led him to the library, though he was not meant to do any actual reading. In the library, however, was a man. 

“Why are you still here?” Thomas asked. 

Alastair looked up from the book he was holding. “I- Thomas! I didn’t realize that you were walking around.” 

“Yes, according to Brother Shadrach, my head injury has not affected my ability to walk.” 

“Right-” 

“You still haven’t answered my question. Go home, Carstairs. How many times do I need to tell it to you? Do you need it in a different language?” He was about to tell Alastair to leave in Farsi when he was cut off. 

“No, I’ll go.” He shut his book and stood up. “I’m sorry. I did not intend to bother you again, I simply-” 

“I don’t know what game you’re playing or how you’ve managed to convince my whole family of it, too, but it won’t work anymore.” 

“Thomas, there’s no-” 

“Cease constantly addressing me by my first name. We’re not schoolboys any longer. That’s what you said, isn’t it?” 

Alastair couldn’t seem to find the words to respond, though his expression was as unreadable as ever. 

Thomas could feel tears burning in his eyes. “I thought that you were different, but I was wrong. I will not allow myself to fall for your lies again.” 

“Very well, Mr. Lightwood. I will take my leave. I did not wish to upset you.” His face was still blank. 

“Really? Because you don’t seem to care all that much. We’re meant to be in a relationship, or something, according to my sister, but it doesn’t even seem like you care that I hate you.” 

There, just for a moment, was a flicker across Alastair’s face, though Thomas couldn’t quite catch what it was. He thought for a moment before finally responding. “You’re allowed to hate me, T- Perhaps you should. It matters not to me because as long as you hate me, you are awake and you are alive, and that is an easier reality to contend with than one where you are… not alive. I hope you feel better, Mr. Lightwood.” 

Thomas opened his mouth to respond, but was too flustered to find the words. He stared as he watched Alastair walk out of the library. For a moment, he thought that perhaps he would look back at him, but he simply kept walking, turning the corner towards the front entrance of the Institute.

Thanks for all of your support! taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed): @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @doitforthecarstairs @lifewouldbebetteronmars @delusioneon @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood

Part 3

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Chain of Iron theories: the adopted baby

Here is another hot discussion topic in the fandom. CC has hinted that their will be a special baby, and that they will need to be adopted. So Questions, who is giving a baby up and why? I am assuming that this is a Shadowhunter baby. I cannot see either Hypatia Vex or Kellington who party, operate a secret saloon, and take pleasure in seducing interesting artistic individuals deciding to devote themselves to parenthood. Woosley Scott is set to show up, but their is no way he wants to adopt. Every other downworlder has appeared in the future and never made reference to having raised a baby. So which shadowhunters in this series of so many parents, children, and would be couples are looking to adopt? We know that shadowhunters adoption program isn’t perfect; Ariadne being adopted by an elderly white couple who know nothing about Indian culture and Tatiana somehow being allowed to adopt Grace despite the fact that she is aggressive, clearly insane, and famously unable to care for the one child she gave birth to. But I want to hold on to hope that whoever this little baby is their story will end happily with being given a nice home and family. My Theories

Anna and Ariadne  adopt Eugenia’s baby. (retracted)

  This was my original theory. In COG2 we learnt that Eugenia temporarily left home because of some scandal no one really wants to talk about. It apparently involved her and some guy being caught in a “compromising position” after which said guy could have saved things by asking to marry her but did not? ??? This led many people to believe she and this guy had been immanent and that she might now be pregnant., but unable to raise the baby on her own. So she would give it up for adoption. Eugenia’s older sister Barbara had an understanding with a very nice gentleman named Oliver and kept trying to get Oliver to purpose. I wondered if maybe a reason Barbara was in such a rush to marry is she was hoping for her and Oliver to adopt Eugenia’s baby and pass them off as theirs. Now that both Barbara and Oliver are sadly deceased Eugenia would need to look into finding new  parents to take he unborn child. Well spoilers relating to Eugenia state that despite having different interests and hobbies, she and Anna get along well. She also is set to become friends with Ariadne. Ariadne who really wanted to be a mom. So I thought that if Eugenia was pregnant and looking to give her child up for adoption then maybe she would ask Anna and Ariadne to adopt her baby. That had the potential to be sweet.

  But we have gotten more information now, and surprise surprise, people jumped the gun to quick on what happened with Eugenia. While we still do not know what the scandal was, it is hinted to have been way less extreme/serious than premarital intimacy, and she is very unlikely to be pregnant. I am now hoping that her ex got into a fight with some other guy, she stepped in to hit the other guy with a parasol, and her ex got embarrassed about having to be saved by her and broke up with her. Something that shows the guy was a real loser.

Elias puts Baby Carstairs up for adoption

  In COG2 we got a huge surprise that Sona was pregnant with her third child, unexpected as the family tree only lists her and Elias as having two children. Well actually actually the Carstairs family line is tree has parts of it that “Were lost to time”. So something clearly happened. Jem was clearly hiding something.

   This pregnancy was clearly unplanned and does present some worry’s. For starters Sona is well past the age where it easier/safest for women to give have children. She was already starting to have a difficult time with it during COG2 when she finally confessed to Cordelia that she was about 3 months along. This means that she will be about 7 months along (almost ready to give birth) when we pick up again in COI. Well in the early chapter read Alastair said that his mother has been put on Bed rest with her husband staying by her side and silent brothers monitoring her. This does not sound good. Several people have theorized that even with the brothers help, she will not make it through childbirth. Now lets talk about the babies father Elias Carstairs. Elias Carstairs is even older than his wife. He spent his youth traveling the world (I read a tweet that said he has even gone between dimensions before) leading special expeditions and hunting rare and powerful demons. This sounds grand, but it was a grueling life that left him physically and emotionally scared. Tragically the Clave does not recognize mental health as a need, so they do not provide any kind of therapy or treatment for those who become traumatized. Like many poor soldiers throughout American history Elias was there for the Clave when they needed his help but it that help was not reciprocated at the end. The only comfort he found was at the bottom of the bottle. It took Elias until he was already in his 40′s to start a family, and he has struggled with being able to take care of himself enough to act as a father to the two children he and Sona have already raised. Elias is 63. He is sad and tired, and struggling to keep a handle on his sobriety. This child was unplanned. I have read tweets that show he is at least trying to support Sona, but CC reveals he is questioning if or if not he can really do this a third time. If Sona dies there is no way Elias can raise this child himself. I won’t fault him if he makes that choice, it might be the most loving thing he can do.

   Who would adopt the little guy. Well the most common theory is that Alastair and Thomas would become his new dads. Now the family tree does suggest that both Alastair and Thomas are dads in the future. It also doesn’t list the names of either of their spouses (I am guessing neither had wives) so their is nothing to suggest that they do not live together raising a group of adopted children. Given the way the Cave feels about homosexual parents that could also be why Jem “lost” the records. I will not deny Thomstair becoming adopted parents is plausible, but I am not completely sure that baby Carstaris is who they will adopt. Babies are hard, they are a lot of work, and I am not convinced either Alastair or Thomas will be up to it. Look at Alastair. He is not exactly in a good place at the start of COI, and whenever fans ask CC if Alastair will make any friends she always reply that he won’t until he learns how to speak nicely to people and to be there for them when they need him. Honestly that is a thing he struggles with. He obviously loves Cordelia, but he totally pulled an  Queen Elsa on her where he shut the door and shut her out for roughly 7 years of their lives, leaving her as alone as Anna was. He claims to have loved Charles but the pair spend most of COG arguing because Alastair wants Charles to spend all his time with him and Charles is struggling to balance his promotion, his public reputation, and Alastair (Important I am not saying it was wrong for Alastair to be upset about Charles engagements or to break up with him. I am just saying it seems like Charles did try to see Alastair as much as he could, and Alastair trying to pin all his emotional needs on one person, who already had so much going on, was unfair). On Thomas side well lets just say he has a lot of mixed up and complicated feeling of his own he needs to work out before he will be able to be in a healthy relationship let alone raise a child.

  If Thomstair aren’t able to take care of Baby Carstairs I bet I know a long time married, long time Carstairs loving couple, who would be happy to take the little guy in and have enough resources, experience, and love to give him a great life. Hey in the future Tessa says she has kept watch over three families: the Herondales, the Carstairs, and the Blackthorns. The Herondales and the Blackthorns are her and Will’s grandchildren. If she were watching the Carstairs because they were once her friends wouldn’t she also watch out for the Fairchilds and Lightwoods?

Blackthorn Babies with Mundane and Shadowhunter mommies and daddies

  (Okay this is one will involve some hopping around and several references to the family tree, so stay with me people, stay with me.) We aleady know Jem made some changes to this line. Lucie is not 12, she is 16. Tatiana is probably not going to live another 15 years. Also the tree said that Jesse dies 59, yet he actually died at 17. But future wife Lucie wants to resurrect him... which is highly illegal and should she be successful she will probably face terrible repercussions. Jesse also might not be able to live as a shadowhunter after being brought back. So even if we don’t want it, for the sake of this theory lets assume that upon Jesse’s resurrection both he and Lucie are banished and become a mundane pianist and writer. Let’s assume they also get married and have children. In order for the TDA Blackthorns to be shadowhunters at least one of Jucie’s kids would have to become a shadowhunter and move to the shadow world. I feel like Luce and Jesse would be willing to let their kids go in that case. That was all Jesse wanted growing up and Lucie is Will’s daughter. The children would just need someone they could stay with.

  Now lets hop to the Lightwood family line. According to the tree Christopher and Grace get married (Grace is also listed as a Cartwright so was her adoption overturned and she rejoined her bio family?) and continue the Lightwood line down to TMI. Grace and Christopher are set up to bond  (over science) and many fans are willing to believe that they are an endgame ship. But fans are also doubting that they are the ancestors of the TMI lightwoods.  For one thing Christopher is heavily coded to be asexual; and Grace herself seems to have a very.... twisted and warped view of physical acts. So now lets say Grace is somehow saved from punishment over Jesse’s resurrection or because of her past trauma is given a lighter sentence. Lets say Gracetopher really do get married. if they got married they probably will apt out of having children; at least biological children.

   Christopher has a younger brother , Alexander Lightwood, who seems like a much more likely candidate to continue his family line. Alex has been noted to have those dark blue eyes that while once a Herondale trait later become a Lightwood trait. He shares a first name one of TMI’s most prominent characters, and that is just about the only way baby Alex could have relevance to the story given that he is way to young to help out in the war. If Alexander Lightwood the first is one who carried on the Lightwood line why are his descendants listed under his brother and sister in laws names?

   Well way back before the CC launched TLH I remember her posting a tweet that said Grace could become an ancestor of either the Herondale or the Blackthorn line. This upset a lot of people who thought that it meant that Grace may have a baby with either James or Jesse. (No, just NO!!!) But what if instead of Grace having a baby with Jesse, She and Christopher adopt one of Jesse and Lucie’s babies so that that baby could be raised as a shadowhunter? I could see Grace and Christopher doing do: they each love one of the respective parents and are set get to know the other. The only good thing about Tatiana adopting Grace was she got Jesse as a brother. Should she ever recover from having Tatiana as an adoptive mother I could see her becoming very critical of other adoptions and refusing to allow Jesse’s children to potentially end up like she did. I am in love with a head cannon I have that Christopher will become a science professor at the academy. If Lucie and Jesse have to leave the shadow world, and they have to give up their children then I want to imagine that child living in Malec’s future academy suit with Shadowhunter mommy and daddy Gracetopher while they secretly get gifts and send letters to their mundane mommy and daddy Juice. (It is the least CC can do for the pain reading about that potential exile would cause me.)

[in-love-with-the-carstairs]

Chapter 1

~Chapter 2~

Alastair was lying in his bed, tossing and turning, unable to get to sleep. His mind was filled with the events of the past day. Thomas had taken him on a date to a small bookshop, filled with Persian books. He loved it. It had been so thoughtful, so in touch with his interests, he’d nearly cried.

Charles had never paid nearly as much attention to him. Never paid any attention to him period. Thomas had bought him a surprise gift, and then taken him out for coffee. He made no comment about Alastair wanting to read his new book, even brought a book of his own so that Alastair wouldn’t feel guilty.

The happiness hadn’t even begun to fade and it had been hours since they’d parted ways.

He was thinking about Thomas when he heard footsteps outside his room, followed by a quiet knock on his door.

Dragging himself up from his incredibly comfortable bed, he opened the door slightly irritated, when he saw his little sister standing there. That alone would’ve been enough to shake him out of the lovesick trance he’d been in but her appearance is what really concerned him. Her hair was a mess and she looked as though she hadn’t slept for a week. She was always so well put together, seeing her like this was a rarity.

Opening the door further, he let her into his room. She walked in and sat on his bed, looking slightly shell-shocked. Alastair was worried, he’d rarely ever seen his sister in this kind of state.

“What’s wrong Layla?” he asked, not fully expecting a response but hoping for one anyway.

“I had a nightmare,” she replied, “well, technically it was a memory but it had slight altercations.”

Oh. Alastair knew very well how those kind of nightmares worked. And what was worse was that you couldn’t wake up and tell yourself it wasn’t real. Because it was. Because you were living that nightmare. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. He also knew that the Merry Thieves had a tendency to do risky things and that, since coming to London, Layla got caught up in many of those risky things, much to his dismay.

They stayed like that for a while, before Cordelia whispered a request.

“Could you play the piano for me?”

Alastair tensed. He hadn’t played the piano in years. Not since his father had criticised him it and forced him to stop playing, causing his mother great upset. But if it could help his sister, was it not worth it? And this was Layla, she wasn’t going to judge him.

“Alright.” Alastair agreed quietly, coaxing a small smile out of Cordelia. It was small but genuine and that’s what mattered.

He stood, taking hold of her hand and started walking slowly towards the door, gauging how much energy she had. When she found her feet, they went downstairs, quietly, so they wouldn’t wake Sona or Risa.

They walked over to the piano and Alastair sat down on the piano stool, Cordelia sitting on the floor next to him, leaning against his leg.

He was about to ask Layla what she wanted him to play when he saw some old music sheets on the bookshelf. He remembered hiding them in the very small space on top of the books after he’d been told to stop playing by his father.

He stood up, ignoring Cordelia’s indignant noise at losing his leg, which she’d been lying on. He fetched the sheets and found that it showed a few old Persian songs. He remembered the day his mother had presented them to him.

It had been a gift for one of his birthday’s. She was so thrilled that he’d learnt how to play the piano, she had always loved music and was very sad that Cordelia had absolutely no musical talent.

Alastair had tried to teach her how to sing once, as a surprise for their mother, and found she sounded like a dying cat. After about two hours trying to coax any kind of pleasant sound from Cordelia, he’d given up, but the process had provided them with a lot of laughter and given them quite a few jokes that no one else understood.

Sona was very touched by this gesture, no matter how badly it went. Risa had complained about the noise afterwards, but the fond smile on her face showed her true feelings towards the incident.

A smile ghosted his face at the memory, before he took his place back on the stool, Cordelia resuming her position next to his leg.

He placed his hands on the keys and started to play, the melody so familiar that he stopped needing to look at the sheets, the rest of the tune coming to him naturally. As his hands danced over the keys, he found himself relaxing, feeling the same thing happen to Cordelia, who had previously been so tense she might’ve snapped, slumped over his leg. He was also relieved to find that his skill had not disappeared in the years in which he hadn’t practiced.

He played the first song, and then the next and then one more. The more he played the more it seemed as though the dam he had built up inside of him, the one keeping his emotions away, was cracking. Suddenly, he was no longer concerned about waking his mother or Risa. He focused entirely on pouring his heart and soul into the music he was producing.

He focused on the feelings he’d bottled up for so long, resentment over the way he’d been treated at the Academy, the way he’d been forced to treat others, the confusion at his feelings towards his father, the way he wanted to hate him but found he couldn’t.

His anger at himself for letting people take advantage of him over the years, the anger at those same people for thinking that it was acceptable to treat him like that.

His sorrow at how he’d felt he would never be loved. His happiness when he’d found out Thomas felt the same way he did, followed by the heartbreak when reality sunk in and he felt as though they could never be together. The disbelief when Thomas had showed up on his doorstep, declaring his love for Alastair and how he refused to let anyone stand in their way. The joy that had accompanied him since that day.

All these emotions he’d pushed down for so long, as well as so many more he couldn’t name came bursting through, an explosion of beautiful sounds coming through on the piano.

When he was done, he was exhausted.

“Oh Alastair,” Cordelia whispered, a look of utter sadness on her face, as if she finally understood. She finally understood the pain that he had felt. How much everything had affected him. She wrapped her arms around him and, in the darkness whispered, “Thank you dadash.”

It was then he noticed the tears streaming down his cheeks.

And he realised, in that moment, that Cordelia had done this just as much for him as for her. Allowing him to explain everything he’d felt, without forcing him to say the words. How she’d known that’s exactly what he needed, he had no idea. He hadn’t even known that’s what he needed.

She’d given him one of the only things he’d ever truly enjoyed doing, back. He wasn’t like her, punching things or training didn’t make him feel better. What helped him was getting completely lost in something he loved. Something that he was good at. Something that he could pour all his emotions in to. Before his father had stopped him from playing, the piano had been one of the few constants in his life. Something that was always there for him, not temperamental, something that never turned it’s back on him, as ridiculous as it sounded.

He slowly stood up, getting ready to go back to bed since it was still incredibly early and, while it felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, he was also exhausted. It had taken a toll on him emotionally. Cordelia took his hand and he led her up the stairs.

As he was about to turn into his room, he felt Cordelia tug at his hand, a nervous expression on her face.

“Can you stay with me please, dadash?”

There is no way he would say no. Not with the look on her face, the tone of her voice or the use of Persian.

He followed her into her room, and slipped into bed beside her.

He fell asleep holding his sister’s hand, feeling better than he’d done in a very long time.

(And if Sona nearly cried after hearing her son playing piano after so many years, at hearing the pain in her son’s music but also the underlying hope in it, well that was no one’s business but her own.)

(Even if it was incredibly early in the morning.)

If you want to be tagged let me know!

[dl-oblivion]

What would S boys be like if they had good father and mother figures?

Considering both nature, and nurture play into ones personality development, that’s hard to say. I believe they’d be drastically different, as all suffer with severe childhood trauma that shaped them into who they are in the series. Some core aspects of their personalities would be kept though. I’m gonna break down their childhoods, and how I think they’d grow up if things were different. This is gonna be my first analysis so I hope you guys enjoy reading it.

⚠️TW for physical, emotional, and sexual abuse⚠️

Shu - As a child, Shu was constantly pressured as the eldest son to surpass his father. For hundreds of years he would have to study, and barely got anytime to be a kid. When he did, it was always on his own merit. Running away, and seeking out his best friend Edgar, was how he got away from it all. (At least for a very brief portion of his life.) One thing after another, the things that brought him joy were stripped from him, including Edgar. Feeling trapped, he eventually stopped caring all together, and burnt out. His lazy persona was formed from depression, and trauma. That being said, his sluggish attitude, is the only aspect of his personality I can really see changing. Maybe the vampire would be less sadistic too? That’s hard to say, but perhaps if he continued making human friends, he wouldn’t look down on them so much. Having good parents as a vampire might mean that they belittle humans even more so who knows. His quiet nature would remain, but he wouldn’t be shy by any means. I think his “cool” personality is just how he is. His perverted side would also still be present. It’s worth noting that he’s the only brother who hates his parents, but doesn’t hold any kind of grudge. (Subaru doesn’t hate his mom, but would kill his father if the opportunity was available.)

Reiji - Reijis childhood was the complete opposite of his older brother. Instead of being hyper focused on, he was neglected. No matter what he did, nobody seemed to care for his achievements. The reason why Reiji is the most intelligent out of all his siblings, is because he never stopped trying to get attention by proving his capabilities. Even when he did get praised, it was in the form of backhanded compliments “You will make an excellent right hand man to your brother once he becomes king”. That inferiority complex of his, and hatred for his mother/older brother, would have never been there if he had good parents. Being raised in a loving home, I believe the good aspects of his personality would be cranked up, as opposed to the bad. He’d still be the most intelligent, but out of curiosity, and the need to learn more than anything. His ego would still be present a bit, especially when it comes to humans, but perhaps he’d be more snarky than sadistic? I can also see him being less strict, and more charming towards people. The character would be a little empathetic towards others, and not as detached from his family. Getting along with his brother would be in a playful competitive sense. I also lowkey see him being a mamas boy.

Ayato - Ayato has a similar upbringing to Shu, except his mother was extremely unstable, and downright cruel. Unlike the other two mothers, Cordelia didn’t care for her sons at all. He was a victim to beatings, and torment (I’m sure we all know the story of him being drowned in a lake). Ayato also witnessed Cordelias fits/breakdowns, (which often resulted in maids being killed before his very eyes) as well as her love affairs. The reason why she showed even a shred of regard for Ayato, was because he was the oldest of the triplets. The vampire was praised for things that made his mother look good, and proved he was the “best”. One of the ways narcissists are formed is from parental neglect, and only being praised when they do something worthy of acknowledgement. Which is why his whole character revolves around his need to be the best. If the vampire was raised by good parents, his egotism wouldn’t be present at all. He’d be a way more lighthearted character, and probably just a big loud dork. I’m sure he’d still be a jerk to some extent, but in a misfit kind of a sense. He seems playful at heart, and stubborn in nature. Perhaps he’d be a bit of a heart breaker amongst ladies, or absolutely terrible at picking up chicks. I wholeheartedly believe his personality was mostly formed via “nurture”, but if he wasn’t as strong of a character emotionally, would he have made it out the same?

Laito - Laitos upbringing is different from that of his brothers. While he was neglected, and traumatized from witnessing things no kid should have, the abuse he went through didn’t occur until he was a teenager. At a certain age (unclear), Cordelia began abusing him sexually, and warped his viewpoint on love. His only purpose was to please her sexually, which completely fucked him up. While he always knew it was wrong, Laito was manipulated into believing that he loved his mother as a partner. When Karl Heinz found out, he locked Laito in a dungeon as punishment. Nobody was there to comfort, or acknowledge him as a victim. Instead, Cordelia had sex in front of Laito, and told her son that he was nothing more than a play toy. He continued the cycle of abuse once the incestuous relationship ended. His whole persona is fake, it’s a means to bury all his trauma deep down. With all that being said, Laito would be an entirely different person if he was raised by loving parents. Instead of being this abusive asshole, he’d be a more soft spoken, chill, and nice person. Maybe a little flirtatious, but unintentionally so. I highly doubt he’d be nearly as sadistic, or brutal when it comes to humans, as he didn’t even enjoy taking advantage of his first victim, Hilde (a maid). His hobbies might also be a focus for him, as he wouldn’t be constantly trying to fill up his time by preying on people. Perhaps being a legendary pianist? He’d definitely be closer to his brothers as well, and give them advice more often. His perceptive, and sharp people reading skills would still be there.

Kanato - Kanato has always been needy, and attention seeking. Instead of trying to get his mothers attention by proving his capabilities, he would often times beg for it, or hurt himself. Most of his childhood was spent being neglected. Even if he sustained really bad injuries, Cordelia would ignore him, or request one of the servants take care of it. She disregarded him, until it was discovered that he could sing. His mother was turned on by his voice, and requested that Kanato sing while she was having intercourse. Since he was exposed to sex at a young age, his view on lust/love is very warped, just like Laito. Not nearly as much, but he believes forcing himself onto others is normal. Women are lustful creatures who always want it, in his eyes. (This explains why he forces himself onto Yui the most out of all his brothers.) Cordelia would also order Kanato to dispose of her affairs once she was bored, or if they caused trouble. His mother approved of him turning them into dolls, which is why he continued doing it for hundreds of years. If he had a normal upbringing, Kanato wouldn’t be as broken, and deranged as he is. His mood swings, and extremely sadistic nature wouldn’t be there. I believe he’d be quite timid, and a bit bratty if raised with good parents. He’d throw tantrums sometimes if he didn’t get what he wanted, but not have full blown episodes. I think he also wouldn’t hate women, and humans nearly as much as he does. Kanato is a sensitive person at heart who needs love.

Subaru - Subaru had a lonely, and isolated childhood. He did experience brief moments of tenderly love from his mother, but it was usually followed by Christa breaking down, and screaming at him. His low self esteem is rooted in his mother calling him a monster his entire life. Because Christa was locked away, dealing with her own mental deterioration, Subaru looked after himself. Never did he get validation or approval from anybody. With no siblings to turn to, or father to look to for guidance, he became extremely destructive. Taking his anger out on objects was the only way he could remain sane with a sickly mother. I’m sure there’s been instances where he punched, or beat, brides/servants, as sad as that is to say. I wouldn’t doubt it, since he has said he’s blind during moments or rage, and can easily hurt others if they’re around him when he’s like this. If Subaru had even one good parental figure he’d be different. He’d still be sadistic, but able to control his anger/emotions way better. His horrible self image wouldn’t be there either, and maybe he’d take pride in himself more. I think he’d also pick up hobbies, or be involved in sports, as opposed to being a delinquent. It said in his part of the anniversary book that he actually enjoys exercising, and likes his body sometimes, because he works out. Without a doubt he’d still be an awkward goof, and a tsundere at times. Probably known around the school for having cute reactions as opposed to being scary.

Whew that was long, if you read even a sliver of that Ily (っ◔︣◡◔᷅)っ ❤