#also just stop it with the ‘guess I’m just a stupid american lol’ excuse that I’ve seen many people use.

[legendaryjarcollection]

I am so tired

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 309: Gotta Go My Own Way

Previously on BnHA: Muscular was all “well if it isn’t the protagonist on his solo journey of self-discovery, for some reason I’m unironically glad I get to fight you!” Deku was all “hey Muscular before I finish kicking your ass would you please take a moment to answer these two survey questions? Question one, do you regret being a total piece of shit? And question two, if you could do anything at all in the world other than being a total piece of shit, would you?” Muscular was all, “pfft, no and no.” Deku was all, “thanks buddy, your feedback helps make me a better hero, here’s a coupon for fifteen percent off your next ass-whooping.” Then he whooped his ass.

Today on BnHA: Deku is all “what up All Might can you believe you’ve been here this entire time?” All Might is all “I sure can since that’s literally my catch phrase, anyway how are your magic movie 1 gauntlets holding up?” Deku is all “they’re holding up fine, how are Hawks, Endeavor, and Best Jeanist doing?” Hawks, Endeavor, and Best Jeanist are all “we, your fellow co-conspirators, are also doing fine, thanks for asking!” Flashback!Deku is all “anyway so I secretly have All Might’s quirk and the most dangerous people in the world are after me, so sorry mom but that’s why I’m dropping out of school.” Inko is all “I CAN’T ACCEPT THAT” while totally accepting it. All Might is all “I GUESS WE’LL JUST HAVE TO GO ALONG WITH IT SINCE I DON’T FEEL LIKE TRYING TO STOP HIM.” Hawks, Jeanist, and Endeavor, as previously mentioned, are all “yeah that sounds like a good plan”, and Gran is all “see ya kid, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” So basically everyone in the entire world has suddenly teamed up with Deku to defeat AFO, except for the one person whose entire foreshadowed endgame is “teaming up with Deku to defeat AFO.” O Kacchan where art thou.

dear tumblr image limit: okay look. you don’t like me, and I don’t like you. but just as an experiment, I’m gonna try writing this recap with as few images as possible and we’ll see how it goes

(ETA: spoilers for how it went: it didn’t, lol.)

oh my god WHY ARE WE OPENING WITH MORE KETSUBUTSU ACADEMY KIDS.ffs we’d better at least finally get some Ms. Joke content out of this

(ETA: seriously who do I have to bribe.)

so these two KB kids who no one cares about are watching Deku leap away from the scene after dispatching Muscular. but more importantly wtf is this chapter title omg. “I can’t stay being a child” so that’s how it is huh. we’re gonna have feels and we’re going to like them. well then

oh my god he’s hauling Muscular away dhfksklfkh okay this is gonna have to be our first image because I can’t fucking help myself. look at this

just. Deku is so tiny and he’s carting away this massive unconscious lump of a man like it’s nothing why is this so funny to me. it’s like when people buy furniture, and they don’t want to pay extra for delivery and so they’re like, “I can definitely fit this king-sized mattress in the back of my compact sedan if I fold the fucking seat down, idk.” and they refuse to be talked out of it, and the next thing you know you’re watching them drive home with their open trunk door haphazardly tied down with bungee cords, and somehow it fucking works. because it turns out the compact sedan has super strength

anyway for SOME REASON now Horikoshi is all “have fun with that Deku, meanwhile we now return you to your regularly scheduled SHINDOU CONTENT” whyyyyyy

look at this. we’re really using up a whole fucking entire page on everyone arguing over who gets the honor of carrying Shindou

love how the civilians are all, “shit lol is this actually our fault?? quick, how do we play this off all casual like we were the reasonable parties here all along”

turns out all it took to finally get them to listen was making them watch while a kid got his insides ground into a pulp because of their stupidity!! what a heartwarming conclusion to this little standoff

anyways THANK GOD we’re cutting back to Deku now!! well actually we’re cutting back to Muscular who is being dropped off at the police precinct, good bye and good riddance lol

so Deku’s leaving him there and bounding away and okjdlSKFJLKJDSL OH MY GOD

no fucking way. no fucking way this little jaunt is All Might-sanctioned and approved. are you serious?? then who else is in on this?? what the hell is going on

so All Might is just WAITING FOR HIM IN AN ALLEY FFF WHO ARE YOU, JIM GORDON. or would Alfred be a better analogy here?? but like, Alfred if he ditched the suit for a moto jacket and shades

this new ensemble of All Might’s may or may not severely impact my ability to take this forthcoming conversation seriously; please stand by

also, quite the spectacular landing there, Deku. seriously lol what was that

“HOW ARE YOUR LIMBS” “THANKS TO YOU THEY’RE COMPLETELY FINE” I’M SORRY WHAT

LOL WHAT. “THANKS TO THE POWER OF THESE MAGIC GLOVES” OH I SEE THAT EXPLAINS IT

are these the same gauntlets from the first movie, then? well that’s all well and good, except that now there’s going to be more Deku Discourse than fucking ever lol. so if it’s all the same to you guys, I’m gonna once again go ahead and declare this week’s post a discourse-free zone, at least when it comes to the specific discourse of Deku’s merits as a MC, and the impact that him kicking ass and having working arms has on said merits. this has been something of a low mental energy week for me, so I’d rather reserve the energy I do have for more fun topics, such as All Might’s bitchin’ leather jacket

anyway so All Might’s saying that the gauntlets will help reinforce Deku’s arms, but they can’t withstand OFA at 100%. so basically it’s a support item designed to maintain the status quo lol. we’re basically in the same situation we were before, arm-capability-wise

homg All Might’s getting a call. time to see who else is in on Operation: Deku Alone?? or not so alone for that matter

omg

HI HAWKS, WHERE ARE YOUR WINGS

(ETA: seriously are they really gone for good?? why would he even be back on active duty then?? does he have his own American ex-boyfriend who can hook him up with exclusive support items?? dammit Horikoshi we want answers.)

looks like Jeanist and Endeavor are teaming up as well, just like they said they would. I would gladly follow this trio around all day long tbh

is this the same giant villain from the very first chapter??

looks like it to me, and it would tie in with that callback from the end of chapter 306. we all thought that was Muscular, but maybe it was this guy, and Deku left these three to deal with him while he ran off to take Muscular down

oh my god now Deku is running off again just like that

kids these days

ffffff I have not had nearly enough sleep to follow along with whatever tf Hawks is talking about here sob

like, is he trying to say that All Might is keeping Deku’s whereabouts unknown to anyone except for him?? in order to keep him safe?? but Hawks is pointing out that that’s a bad strategy and probably won’t do shit against AFO and it’s better if he lets Deku work with the rest of them?

(ETA: so @hanashimas​’ translation makes a lot more sense -- it’s not All Might who’s being overprotective, but Deku. in other words he’s trying not to drag All Might into his battles. and in addition Hawks is saying that their strategy is to take the offensive and go after AFO themselves rather than wait for him to come to them. which I’m not too sure about myself, but that’s another topic for another day.)

btw I can’t help thinking how much better this entire conversation would be if All Might was still wearing his sunglasses. put them back on my dude. it’s not too late. embrace your inner badass

DKLJSLDKFJL FLASHBACK ALERT, FUCKING FINALLY

“turns out, we were just trying to scare you straight. fuck lot of good that did though lol”

also what is this. one true love: the hospital bed. is that a scanlator joke or is Horikoshi actually that funny omg

SKLJDFLJLK

ITSA ME!! omg I love this hospital so much. though it’s sure not helping me in my quest to try and keep this post below ten images. I’m already up to eleven haha r.i.p. to me if tumblr doesn’t get its shit together

whaaaaaat, so he’s saying that Deku’s injuries were external (i.e. Tomura beating the shit out of him) rather than internal this time?? whaaaaat. excuse me but that’s some bullshit lmao. believe me, I was there

okay now he’s going on to explain that Deku’s “internal structure” seems to have been protected from the inside and out, and the corresponding panel seems to be implying that using Blackwhip as a brace paid off. huh

and also that his body is just stronger now?? so I guess he’s better able to withstand the quirk after an additional year of training?? I’M NOT SURE IF I BUY ANY OF THIS LOL but I’m willing to suspend my disbelief

OH MY GOD RED ALERT, INKO IS ASKING ALL MIGHT TO EXPLAIN WTAF DEKU’S QUIRK IS, IS IT FINALLY THAT TIME OMGGGG

SO HE’S EXPLAINING IT TO HER OFF-SCREEN, AND INKO IS JUST LIKE

I GUESS THAT’S FAIR LOL. IT’S TRUE INKO I’M SO SORRY, YOUR SON IS A PROGATONIST R.I.P.

AHHKKJH DEKU ANGST IS IT FINALLY THAT TIME OMGGGGGG

what is this soft pop beat that’s suddenly being pumped in over the speakers. I’VE GOT TO MOVE ON~ AND BE WHO~ I~ AM~~~, I JUST DON’T BELONG HERE, I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAAAAAAAND. also, follow-up question, when is Kacchan finally going to come back so he can jump in with the “WHAT ABOUT US~~~” bridge, huh. come the fuck on, Horikoshi

lmao All Might jesus christ

but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision...

anyway, yes!! finally that sweet, sweet “I don’t want to put anyone else in danger” angst!!

mmm that’s good angst Brent. Kacchan with center panel honors as usual, you love to see it. anyways though who do I have to yell at to get Deku a goddamn HUG around here seriously

so Inko is of course reacting with panic, and sensibly saying that she doesn’t approve of Deku’s “RUN AWAY AND FIGHT THE BAD GUYS ALL ON MY OWN, DON’T WORRY MOM I’LL JUST GET STRONGER, EASY AS PIE, IT’S A FOOLPROOF STRATEGY” plan

son of a bitch this manipulative green asshole is really gonna sit here and smile fondly at his mom and try to convince her that he’s Not A Little Kid Anymore. the hell you’re not mister

y'all are really just gonna sit there and let him talk you into this?? surely it can’t be that easy??

OH MY GOD

THE FEELS oh my god oh my god. BUT ALSO YOU’RE SERIOUSLY JUST GOING TO COLLAPSE INTO HIS ARMS SOBBING AND LET HIM DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS LKJLJLFK. WHERE ARE ALL THE STRICT PARENTS AT?? AIZAWA, GANG ORCA, MITSUKI, SOMEONE PLEASE COME AND TELL DEKU TO SIT HIS ASS THE FUCK DOWN. NOW LISTEN HERE YOUNG MAN!!

“EVEN IF I TRY TO STOP YOU YOU’LL STILL LEAVE” WELL SURE, IF BY “TRY TO STOP HIM” YOU MEAN POLITELY TRY TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT FOR THREE SECONDS. HE’S SIXTEEN WTF WHEN DID HE BECOME THE BOSS OF YOU ALL. SOMEONE NEEDS TO COME AND TELL HIM HE’S GROUNDED

anyway sob so that’s the story of how Deku talked his parents into letting him drop out of school, and even convinced All Might to be his own personal Guy In The Chair. holy shit. this kid really went and rolled a nat 20 and the rest of them had no choice but to fold without argument

meanwhile here’s a panel of Best Jeanist trying to braid his phone into his hair just cuz

I’m dying to know which part of his language he considers to be crude here. you literally didn’t even use a contraction my guy

so now flashback!Deku is talking to Gran in the dark, and Gran is all “can you believe I’m not fucking dead yet lol that’s too funny. anyway, you sure I can’t interest you in killing Tomura after all?? no?? okay then here’s my cape.” truly a heartwarming scene

I’m kind of torn here tbh. on the one hand, my adhd ass wasn’t all that interested in sitting down and having an extended scene between these two when there’s so much else that I want to get to. but on the other hand, even I can admit that cramming this entire reunion into a single page seems just a BIT rushed. idk. like maybe someone can let Horikoshi know it’s a marathon and not a race. Deku didn’t even get any dialogue here, some of us want to know his thoughts!! but anyway

AND JUST LIKE THAT?!

how did all four of them let him con them into this. I literally just watched it happen and I still can’t figure out how. “I GUESS THIS SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT IS OUR LEADER NOW” ffflfjf. when Aizawa finds out he’s gonna go apeshit. AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BAKUGOU KATSUKI, WHO I HAVE BEEN ASSURED DOES IN FACT STILL EXIST. WHAT ABOUT USSSSS, WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING WE’VE BEEN THROUGH. WHAT ABOUT TRUST???! YOU KNOW I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOUUUUU

btw lol don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying this, and I’m honestly glad Deku’s not alone because that would suck for him! but that said, Hawks and Jeanist have lost any credibility they might have once had as far as being The Responsible Ones, and as for All Might and Endeavor, fucking hell lol. everyone just deposited all of their fucks in a bank somewhere for safekeeping and decided to never look back. godspeed you mad lads

[hwrryscherry]

The one where Y/N is a princess.

characters: HARRYxPRINCESSY/N

blurb: Y/N is the youngest daughter of Prince Charles and Princess Diana which makes herself the youngest sister of William and Harry(the duke of Sussex). Harry(Styles) and she meet at the Dunkirk premiere when Y/N attended with her brother Harry. This time, Harry(Styles) is in London and show Princess Y/N what it feels like to be just a girl called ‘’Y/N’’ for a day.

word count: 2.4K

warnings: fluff, a little sad in the end.

author’s note: I received a request about Y/N being a heiress and my mind just go directly to royalty so I guess this could be cool? I tried lol. If you’re british and you felt ofended by any way while reading this I’m extremely sorry!!!! I hope you guys like it as much as I do. And also, I just wanted to share that I wrote this listening to ‘’Ophelia’’ by The Lumineers and ‘’The Book of You & I’’ by Alec Benjamin. 

    You and Harry scheduled to meet in the British Museum situated in the Bloomsbury area of London even though it was a public space, it wouldn’t be a surprise as people already knew that you and harry new each other. You both met on the Dunkirk premiere which you attended together with your brother Harry. Harry(Styles) was such a gentleman, he actually were nervous. As a British man he respects the royal family as much possibler than he can, and he would never want to make neither you nor your brother to feel uncomfortable.

    But anyway, you both scheduled there because Harry had been in England for a while and as you stayed friends it just felt right to meet up. You actually felt really tired, emotionally tired. You were so used to traveling the most amazing places with friends and now being basically locked up at The Buckingham Palace because of the corona virus felt draining for you. So when Harry came up with the meeting you were so glad to finally be leaving home, and Harry has always been the type of person who you felt like you could talk openly and be exactly who you want to be, and we don’t even have to say that the British museum it’s probably one of your favorite places in London. You were enamored by art, and there were so many interesting things in there and every time you’ll go there you’d find something new.

  It was 9am and the museum it’s actually closed now but you did have some perks. You were in the Egyptian part accompanied by your bodyguard Jasper, when you suddenly listened the rough voice of you dearly friend coming closer to you making you turn yourself to look at him getting closer. He greeted you with a simple hug in which you reciprocated by opening a slight smile looking at him.

— Hello, darling — Harry said while using his hands to style his short and messy hair with a smile on his face. — How are you?

— Hi, I’ve been good, just tired! But what about you? — You asked as you both started to walk through the beautiful masterpieces — How’s your mom and Gemma? — You had that really strong British accent, which Harry understood completly, and he really likes it. He thinks it’s the cutest thing. Actually, Harry thought everything about you were extremely cute, you both have a little crush on each other but as you already told him a lot of times before, just the thought of how many things he’d have to leave for because of the royal regulation made you sad for him. You’d never ask him for something like that.

— They’re good but... — Harry stopped walking looking fixedly to your face trying to analyze your emotions by their expressions — Why are you tired? I mean, I understand it must be really bad living in a castle but anyway, what happened? — Harry said smirking at you and your reaction of laughing and rolling your eyes at him.

— Haha, really funny! You should be a humorist — You answered mocking a bit and running your right hand through your hair as you started walking again — And I asked you how were you, you won’t answer? I’ll lock you in the dungeon for your audacity! — You both always joked like this because when you first started being friends, Harry had all that idea about the old royalty with dungeons and prisoners so you’d always make fun of him for that.

— Alright, alright! I'm good, they're good, we're all good. Now, tell me! — Harry said putting his right hand slightly on your shoulder making you stop walking and look at him with all your attention. You sighed trying to form your words to explain exactly what you were feeling to him.

— I don't know, I'm just... I'm so tired of the routine, you know? I wish I could just go out to do the craziest things and not be recognized. — You were looking straight to Harry's green eyes, it felt like they were watching your soul because e was giving you his full atention. The boy really did care about you. He stayes quiet for a while in complete silence, it was a comfortable silence though. It never felt like you and Harry needed to talk all the time when you got together because it was nice just to stay together and enjoy each other's company.

— Let me take you out! — Harry suddenly said after a few seconds making your eyes widen up as you looked at him.

— Excuse me? — You asked.

— Let me take you out! We can put on some disguises and take the best London tour we can find, I bet you've never done it! — Harry said with a little smirk in the end. He was right, you never took a tour through your own city which seems crazy — You know... I really like you and if you wanna have fun this could be great! You'll be just a girl called Y/N and I'll be just a boy called Harry. — He said trying to argue with your thoughts thinking if this would actually be a good thing to do. But you didn't really have anything to lose, did you? — So, do you wanna do a bunch of fun things with me today? — Harry held out his right hand to you indicating that as soon as you shake his hand you would leave that museum and probably have the best day of your life, and so you did.

So as soon as you could, you both were out of that museum with the most ridiculous disguises, if I might say. Harry changed his fashionable clothes for some neutral grey hoodie and you changed your cute black dress to a jeans and hoodie as well. Your heart raced a bit when you both left that museum, the fear of being recognized was in you. It's not that you don't love the people of this nation, it's just... a day off could fit you pretty well.

It was hard to convince Jasper to leave you both alone though, it was his job to keep you safe and actually you don't even remember the last time you left your home without him, you just needed freedom for a while but you did convince him. He spent some minutes actually talking to Harry tons of rules about keeping both of you safe and how he couldn't risk your life and all that stuffs.

For the first time in your life, you were on those big, red and popular British bus. You and Harry entered by the back door and within minutes, you both were on the upon side of it on the last chairs. You looked through the window admiring this city and thinking about how much you would never want to live anywhere else. Harry was making a lot of dad jokes beside you though. You tried to laugh as lowly as you could but it was almost impossible, come on “What's the name of a man with a rubber toe? Roberto” it's so bad that it turns out to be funny. But anyway, the bus took both of us to King Cross where you entered a very popular fast-food place called “Five Guys” as Harry guaranteed you was the best he'd ever had and even though you'd doubted it so much, you agreed to go with him. When you were there, you ordered the biggest burger it had on the menu, which actually surprised Harry, but he surprised it too as he ordered it on the name of “Archie and Eleanor” so you could maintain your disguise.

— So.. Archie and Eleanor? — You asked smirking when you finally took the first bite of your burger. It was delicious but Harry was definitely lying, this is not the best one ever, but yep, all for the experience.

— Come on, you loved it! It's very charming, don't you think? — Harry asked as he took a sip of his coca-cola. It's crazy how these stupid disguises was working, is it really that impossible to recognize someone with a hoodie, cap and sunglasses? You didn't want to know because you were having a nice time.

— You know what, I think we need to get those Chinese cookies because I wanna read my luck! — You commented making him shook his head in reaction to your ask.

— Ok so we need to dinner Chinese food so bad! — You argued taking Harry from surprise as he didn't thought you'd stay this late with him.

— You'd have to buy actual Chinese food, you can't just buy the cookie! — He answered raising his eyebrows at you taking his last bite of his burger.

It didn't take much long for you both to be moving again. It was definitely the best day you've had in a while. You both went to Kensigton High Street and bought the most stupid UK theme hats. Harry bought a fake glasses too; it was blue and had a UK flag handed on it making you laugh every time you looked at his face.

— Come on, I still look cute! — He said putting his hands on his hips and posing like a model, on the middle of the street.

— If you say so!

Next you both went all your way up to Abbey Road which is the famous street from The Beatles photo, and you and Harry as the great fans you are had to copy them. You asked to a random person to take a photo of you two with the best American accent you could impersonate to her. The photo looked so cool and a car almost hit you two but you were fine and for some reason you both laughed and ran to the woman with your phone.

— Oh, to be drunk in love! You both are a really cute couple. — The old lady said giving your phone back to you and walked away before any of you could contest her. You both looked at each other and Harry smirked at you.

— Oh, we're such a cute couple! — Harry said blinking his eyes on a very cute way and you just rolled your eyes at him and started walking again.

— Come on, Styles! I wanna go to the Queen's Gallery — You said walking your way up to the bus stop. Harry had a big smile on his face, he didn't remember the last time he actually had that much fun. He loved England. He loved those places and he loved having this much fun with you.

In the Queen's Gallery, you and Harry tried to not make that much of a noise, it was a museum right? But it felt hard to keep it quiet because you both were taking the weirdest and funniest photos with the arts in there, for a moment you even thought you both were going to be expulsed of the location, but you didn't. None of you realized how much the time was flying and it was probably 3 pm now.

The next step was the Columbia Road Flower Market. It was probably the coolest thing of your day. You both ran around taking a lot of photos and videos. You bought one of the most delicious breads in there. You were looking at some flowers when Harry came back to you with a bunch of pink tulips on his hand, it was your favorite flowers and he knew it.

You both went to so many places actually; you went to HMS Belfast, Battersea Park, Albert Memorial, Old Spiralfields Market, Serpentine Lake, Carnaby Street and Holland Park.

When it was closer to the sunset, you went to Princess Diana Memorial Garden. It was a hard place for you. It has always been and Harry even asked if you really wanted to go there, but you did. You needed to sit down for a moment on your life and miss your mom. You were little when she died so you're probably the only one of your brothers that remember her the least.

You both lied down on the grass. It had a fresh breeze in the air, but the sun was still out, it was that golden hour moment. You rested your head on Harry's thorax looking up to the sunset orange sky above you.

— You know this can be great... If we're willing to try! — Harry said in a very low tone. He was caressing your hair with his hand analysing your face, so he could get any reaction for you.

— It would be for a while. — You said sitting up to look at his face, your faces were a few inches apart, the golden coloration on his face giving him the glow he did have naturally — But what would happen 3 years from now when someone tells you that you couldn't perform anymore? Or you couldn't release your songs? It's not right, I can't ask you this! — Harry looked away for a moment, probably trying to contain his emotions and think, just think — But we have today, we have now. Maybe we should just enjoy what we have now!

He looked back at you, directly into your eyes and again, comfortable silence. The comfortable silence Harry thought was so overrated felt right any time he was with you. He put himself closer to you if that even it's possible. His ring handed touched your cheek, eyes never distracting, you leaned in and your lips touched his. It felt magical, it felt quiet and it felt right.

The sun was out now, bringing the night and the sky full of stars. You both were by The Mall avenue, running, and dancing to the song playing backwards; it was Ophelia by the Lumineers, after that day, this song was your song and any time any of you listened to it, each other was brought up to your minds. You called it a night when you both were by the top of the London Eye, where all the big lights inspired you. When the cold breeze hit your hair and the height scared you but Harry made you feel safe.

Harry dropped you off at the castle's gate at midnight, just as he promised. You stayed by the balcony of your room until the sunrise looking at the sky because you knew that Harry was on the other side looking at the sky too thinking about how you'd never get to finish the book of you and him, and if you weren't faded to end together at least you had today.

[sam-blackbird]

What if episode 8 spoilers!

I wrote this while watching the episode and after, but I don’t stop the episode every time I had something to said because it would have been to long. (In fact that’s what I did so it’s really a long post, sorry!) Anyway, let’s began!

OMG there’s « Jeremy Renner » in the opening! *fangirling in Hawkeye/Clint Barton fan* Wait, about the opening, it’s different from the others, the ones from the previous seven episodes, right? OMG blond-haired-Natasha! *also cry in fangirl*

The Watcher talking about a reality which end and which breaks his (?)(we always assume that’s The Watcher use the he/him pronouns but as far as I’m not sure of it, I’ll use the they/them pronouns) their heart and guess what? I think this episode will break mine!

It snow… (Please tell me it’s not ashes (Maybe from the burning world?))

Holy- Natasha!!! My heart is tight and I feel bad and sad and now I want to cry, Marvel I hate you. Also, she looks hurt, Marvel I double hate you for that, stop playing with my feeling please!

*yell and screams* My little boiiii!!! (Hawkeye/Clint Barton just appeared on my screen) (and I’m really happy of it) (I hope he won’t be hurt, or I’ll became violent because no one hurt my little baby! Yes, I’m aware that he’s older and stronger than me but I don’t care, let me dream and cry, ok?) Also, excuse me, but what happened to his right arm? I’m not sure but if it’s what I think it is, Marvel you’re gonna have big trouble (and by that I mean my insulting you in French in my room, which isn’t that bad I think)

Good I love this action scene and this duo! And the Hawkeye cape is really stylish! I want the same! It seems so cool! Can we agree on the fact that that’s a cape of invisibility, like in Harry Potter?

Also, that’s a metal arm or a prothese that he have instead of his right arm?! Marvel please no! *screams and swear in French*

The three-arrows thing was cool!

*double scream in French when the robots hurt Hawkeye*

Touch him and I’ll kill you you robots! Yay! Natasha!

Wait a minute, I just think about it but where are the others? (I’m full of fear now)

A joke about him being disable? Ah. Sooo fun 😒 (no) Natasha saying that puns aren’t her speciality… Girl, no kidding?! Also, the « It’s Russia. Secrets were the national pastime. » is actually a good one! (Is that the ruins of Saint-Petersburg?)

« One‘s man dream »… You mean his stupidity and/or madness of values, right?

Oh sh¡T! Ultron dear, you’re a son of a Tony, and that’s not a compliment. Dumbass, if you erase the life on Earth, first of all that‘s not nice (thank you Captain obvious) and then, how can we have the wonderful Wandavison?! (Yeah, I love this ship, one of the only hetero ones I like)

Clint being worried for his family wasn’t something I needed today you Marvel!

Scuse me WTF?! He cut Thanos like a shitty piece of paper?! And this purple idiot let him a free access to the Infinity stones?! (Well, he may don’t think things were gonna happened that way but it’s a big catastrophe, like *scream in French*)

*swear in French* Ultron my dear don’t do that!!! *scream for the happy universes we saw* *cry for it* Also, Ultron might be a vilain but we can’t deny they’re (again I’m not sure about the pronouns) really good looking. I mean, their design is really cool and full of style and it’s sad it would bring us tears and desperation because they’re really stylish -I know I repeated the same think but I think it and my English vocabulary isn’t really good :C -.

And I was right to fear for the others :C

Ultron, peace isn’t destruction!

Did he just destroyed Earth?! *is shocked and don’t accept it* *my heroes can’t die, right? * (friendly reminder that Tony’s not part of my heroes)

And Asgard?! *still in disbelief*

*saw their favorites MCU characters disappear from the screen* No! Nooo! *cry for real and had to put pause to cry* (my heart is broken, why did you did this Marvel?!)

The Great Master is just like us, he watch what’s happening in disbelief because it’s so… absurd. It’s not happening, right? It’s just a nightmare and I’ll wake up soon, right?

What the f_ck Xandar?! Captain! *cry with joyfull tears* Please kick Ultron’s ass! Skynet, LoL, I understand that reference! (Am I that old?!)

Wait, I just realized but if Ultron had destroyed Earth, it means Maria -you know, Carol’s wife- is dead?! *gasp in pain*

« You can’t win. - I already have. » Dude WTF?! Let me have hope you son of Tony!

Crap Ultron broke the 4th wall and heard the narrator (aka The Watcher!)! We’re in danger! All the universes are in danger! Our mental health are in dan… Wait, I don’t have that one.

*deep breath with Natasha and Clint appears on screen*

Hey Watcher, maybe you could help them, no? I mean, the multiverse is in danger and they’re your last hope, remember? But no, it’s so much fun to watch them looking in all the boxes… 😒

Is that Alexei Red Guardian’s shield? You really want me to cry Marvel?! (oh no, now I’ve got « Bye bye Miss American Pie » stuck in head… Great, really)

*Clint talking about his low will to live* Me: same here bro! Not exactly for the same reasons but same here!

Watcher, stop talking just f_cking help them! That’s what you called « intervene » Watcher?! LoL seing them trying to talk to the duo Clintasha is the funniest think in this episode for now xD

Not this escalator xD *think about the scene with Steve and Bucky in it in Captain America: The Winter Soldier* *smile*

Francis?! WTF?! XD

How to kill Zola? With water xD Oh God I love Clint so much xD

« I’d like to order a pizza » LoL *die of laughing because it was unexpected* xD (See? She can make pun!)

Yes, a specific arrow! Also, don’t explain us you plan! If we know the plan before it happened, it’s not gonna work!

I’m love the trio Clint-Natasha-Zola actually!

Wait… Natasha holding Clint furiously reminds me of what happened in Voromir… *realization* NO! No no no no No! I see what you trying to doing here Marvel! No! I want them to live! Both of them!

*shock* *cry*

The « I don’t want to fight anymore » wasn’t something I needed Marvel! Why would you do this to me?! WHY?!

*also, sadly, we know that Ultron won’t die in this episode because we saw it in the end of episode 7 and it was after episode 8 I guess*

THEY DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT HAPPENED IN ENDGAME THOSE *incomprehensible swear drowned in tears* !!! I hope all the one who said that « it should have been Clint » regret it!

And the little smile! He’s relieve to leave and to join his family! *cry in pain*

Why do I still watch The MCU?! I know it’s painful but I still watch, why?!

Apart of that, can we talk about the beauty of this scene? The music, the light who goes on Clint…

Watcher, you sure you can’t do anything ?!

I’m sorry but I have to : Nat, you’re such a poser !

Wait, The Watcher is actually really badass and strong!

What the f_ck Steve?! Why became president?!

WTF?!

Wait, it’s already the end?! Ah, no. Fiou.

What the… That’s Strange. And by that I don’t only said that it’s weird, but also that that’s literally Doctor Strange from episode 6.

How the f_ck does he end up there!? No idea.

I love the ending music, god!

*enging credits* What the… The CNC and Film France helped?! *disbelief but also pride to be French*

And that’s it! Finished! One week to wait until the next one?! It’s gonna be sooo long (actually no because of my studies but you understand what I mean, right?)

[flowerpowell]

Unexpected (Drake x MC)

PART ONE

A/N: This is an AU where Liam is engaged to Madeleine and Riley was never a suitor. Drake meets her in a bar but from the beginning they don’t like each other and don’t want to see each other again. Fate had different plans, though. It’s been a while since I wrote anything for Drake so I would appreciate your feedback! Characters belong to Pixelberry! Also, I’m not 100% happy with the title but I couldnt come up with anything else. The moodboard will be changing at some point too because I’m not happy with it either lol.

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: discussions of infertility, laguage

Word count: 2392

Tagging: @gardeningourmet @delightfullypinkglitter @choicessa @hopefulmoonobject @akrenich @blackcatkita @cora-nova @client-327 @desiree-0816 @jlpplays1 @dcbbw @kingliam2019 @the-soot-sprite @mskaneko @thequeenofcronuts @dr-ethanjramsey @missameliep @maxattack-powell @badchoicesposts @mymandrake @butindeed @burnsoslow @annekebbphotography @alesana45 @addictedtodrakefanfic @speedyoperarascalparty @walkerduchess @ao719 @texaskitten30 @lodberg @cordonianroyalty  @emichelle @sirbeepsalot @siriusxxvideos @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @samihatuli​ @choices-lurker​ @i-miss-trr​ @mind-reader1​ @queenjilian​ ♥

“I’m sorry Drake, I’m afraid I won’t make it, Madeleine wants to meet to discuss something ‘important’ before the wedding. Can we reschedule?”

Drake sighed as he read over the message from his best friend. Liam had always been busy but ever since he got engaged to Madeleine, they barely even saw each other. Resigned, he opened the door to his favorite and the only American bar in Cordonia, and walked in. He sat down in his usual place and waited for one of the waiters to get his order.

“Hi! What can I get you?” He turned left to see a young and rather too enthusiastic waitress smiling at him. Huh, that’s new. I haven’t seen her here yet.

“The usual, please.”

“And umm, what’s the usual for you? I’m sorry, this is my first day and I don’t know--”

“Yeah, I can tell. Whiskey, neat.” He interrupted her and turned his back to her. He was aware how rude he was acting but the whole thing with Liam made him mad and he wasn’t in a mood for talking to people.

“Sure,” she answered, her tone noticeably less cheerful. She walked away quickly and approached the barman.

“Hard first day, Riley?” He asked taking her notes from her.

“Was going well before this grump appeared,” she motioned Drake who glaced at her and saw her pointing him. He quickly turned away again.

“Ahh, Drake Walker. He has his moods but be nice to him, he’s our regular.”

“Oh great, I’m gonna see him every day, how nice,” she rolled her eyes and the barman laughed.

“His whiskey,” he handed her the glass. She took it, nodding in return.

“There you go! Anything else I can get for you?” Riley put the glass on the table and plastered a smile.

“No,” Drake answered taking his drink. She stood there waiting and he looked up.

“What?”

“Saying thank you doesn’t really cost much,” she answered and raised an eyebrow.

“Leaving me alone doesn’t cost much either.”

“Being nice doesn’t cost anything too, you know.”

“Not being annoying is kinda cheap too.”

“You’re cheap! What is even your problem?” She asked rasing her voice.

“My problem? You have a problem! I can’t even drink my whiskey in peace without a waitress bugging me.”

“Oohh, I’m sorry, your highness, I’m out of your hair if I’m bugging you that much,” she bowed mockingly and walked away as Drake’s eyes went wide. If she only knew...

“Drake, can you please stop by the palace? I need to tell you something and it’s important.”

Drake looked at the message and sighed. He quickly downed the glass and left money on the table. Without saying anything he walked out of the bar.

“How is he a regular? I would’ve kicked him out for being a jerk.” Riley asked when she brought the empty glass back.

“He’s not that bad. I’ve heard many things are happening in his life now but what exactly no one knows. He’s too reserved to share anything.”

“I can bet nothing exciting is really happening, he’s just trying to pretend he has a life.”

~~~~

“Liam! I’m here!” Drake opened the door to Liam’s office and met with Liam’s serious expression. He looked tired and... upset?

“Did something happen?” Drake asked but before Liam could reply Maxwell came in as well.

“The bros are all here! What’s happening?”

“Maxwell! Stop calling us bros. I am not your bro.” Drake hissed.

“Ahem,” Liam cleared his throat and both men looked at him. “I asked you both to come to tell you something.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I... I can’t have kids. I found out about it today.”

“What? How... How do you know that?”

“Madeleine asked me to check if I could have kids since we would have to produce an heir. The results came today and turns out I can’t have kids,” Liam explained and looked down, not meeting his friends’ eyes.

“I’m so sorry, man,” Drake ran his hand through his hair. “There are other options, you know.”

“Yeah! You can appoint someone or... you know... other stuff,” Maxwell cut in.

“Cordonia needs an heir to ensure our stability. I’ve been pressured to marry someone so I chose Madeleine but now everyone is pressuring me to produce an heir. I can’t tell them I can’t have kids. I can’t fail them,” Liam’s voice broke slightly.

“Screw them. Honestly, they are just a bunch of--”

“Drake! I am their King and I have my responsibilities. Giving them an heir is one of them.”

“So what are you going to do?” Maxwell asked.

“I thought about it. I’m gonna ask Betrand if I can appoint Bartie as the heir to the crown. If Betrand and Savannah agree, of course.”

“Bartie? My nephew? Bartie?” Drake asked, his eyes widening. “That’s--”

“Fantastic!!! I’m going to be a King’s uncle!!! How amazing is that? Betrand will love the idea!” Maxwell cheered as Liam smiled at him weakly.

“Yes. Now excuse me, I need to inform Betrand and Savannah about my decision and hope for the best,” Liam stood up as a sign for the men to leave. Maxwell patted him on the shoulder before heading out but Drake stood still.

“Drake?”

“Are you sure you’re okay? I mean, that’s a big decision to make, are you sure--”

“I’m not sure of anything, Drake. I know I need to get married, produce an heir and rule. That’s all I know,” Liam rubbed his temples suddenly ashamed of his outburst. “I’m sorry Drake, it’s been a rough couple of weeks.”

“S’okay. Get some rest and I’m here if you need me,” Drake said before leaving Liam alone in the office.

~~~~

“Hello?” Drake answered the phone as he opened the door to his cabin.

“Drake! Hey! I have a huge favor to ask. Could you look after Bartie for a few hours? Liam asked us to come to discuss something and I don’t want to drag Bartie with us.”

“Sure, Sav. When are you going to drop him off?”

“Ten minutes? We’re on our way,” there was a silence on the other side as Savannah waited for the answer.

“Sure,” he just said as he looked around his little house, mentally taking note of everything he had to clean before his sister got there.

“Thank you, Drake, you’re the best!” Savannah hung up before she could hear Drake murmuring something in respose. For a day without any social interaction that Drake planned for himself, he had an awful lot of socializing.

Before his sister and her husband came, Drake managed to tidy the kitchen and the living room. He was just about to clean his bedroom when the bell rang.

“Aww, shit, they’re not going to get in here anyway,” he said to himself and went to open the door.

“Here’s Bartie and his stuff, it shouldn’t take us long but I don’t know what Liam wants from us,” Savannah explained handing him his nephew.

“His Majesty,” Betrand corrected and Drake rolled his eyes.

“Right. Once again, thank you so much for your help!” Savannah quickly kissed Bartie goodbye and got back into the car.

“I guess it means there’s only you and me buddy,” Drake whispered to Bartie who started crying in response. It’s going to be a long evening...

~~~~

“Riley! Come here for a second!”

“Coming!” Riley quickly left cleaning the tables and ran to the manager’s office.

“One of your customers left his wallet. You need to return it,” he said taking a wallet from the table and handing it to her.

“Return it? But that’s not my fault someone left the wallet! He should’ve been more careful!”

“Normally yes, but this man has been coming here for years and he rather feels like a friend of ours. I’ll give you the address and you’ll take it back to him. I’ll pay you extra.”

“But...”

“No buts! I would’ve done it myself but I’m too busy ordering new plates and glasses since you broke so many today,” the manager narrowed his eyes and she quickly nodded.

“Got it! Just give me the address and I’ll return it!”

~~~~

“Where’s uncle Drake? Here he is!”

“Weeeeeeeeee!”

Drake sighed as he sat down on the floor. He loved that kid but had absolutely no idea how to take care of him. Maybe Bartie simply didn’t like him.

His thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking on his door.

“Thank God,” he took Bartie in his arms and opened the door hoping to see his sister. However, the person standing there was definitely not his sister and his eyes widened as he recognized the person.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Riley rolled her eyes as she saw Drake.

“Seriously? You even came to my house to offend me?!”

“Weeeeeee!” Bartie started crying again and Riley noticed the kid in Drake’s arms.

“I... No, I’m here to--”

“Can you please come in? Bartie is getting cold,” Drake stepped back so Riley could come inside. He closed the door and looked at Riley expectantly.

“So? May I ask you what the hell are you doing here, in my house at this hour?”

“Like I wanted to!” she answered back trying her best not to punch him. “You left your stupid wallet and my stup-- ahem, my boss asked me to bring it all the way here because apparently everyone likes you there. But just so you know, everyone except for me.”

“Wasn’t counting on it,” he said as he reached for the wallet.

“Weeeeeeee!”

“Shhh, Bartie, don’t worry. That scary lady is leaving.”

“I’m scary? The kid’s crying because his own father can’t even hold him right!”

“First of all, I know what I’m doing and secondly, I am not his father.”

“Ugh, look, you’re squeezing his belly,” Riley tried to take Bartie from Drake’s arms but he took a step back.

“You always know better, huh? We don’t even know each other’s names yet you’re already giving me parenting advice.”

“Because it hurts him! Here, let me,” she carefully took Bartie and he instantly stopped crying. She swayed a little to calm him down and it seemed to work as the kid smiled at her. Just as she was about to look triumphantly at Drake, the lights went out and Bartie started crying again.

“Great. Now use your amazing parenting skills again when I go and try to fix it,” Drake said before going outside.

“Sure. Of course. Go ahead,” she yelled after him, “because that’s still a part of my job as a waitress!”

“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

“Shhh, Bartie, shh! Look, there’s my phone, let’s switch on the flashlight! Ohh, so much better, right?” She whispered to Bartie as he calmed down.

“Let’s go see where are your toys, okay?”

Riley started opening different doors to find anything that could catch Bartie’s attention but nothing in the kitchen or the bathroom seemed to fit her criterion. She opened the door to the room that was almost hidden and gasped at the sight. What must have been Drake’s bedroom was a mess, full of his dirty clothes, empty glasses and other things she wasn’t able to identify.

“Ugh, no wonder your uncle is alone. Who would want to live like that?” She asked Bartie and he giggled. She was just about to close the door when the lights went on again.

“What a relief, right darlin--”

“Who are you?!”

Riley turned around to see a woman and a man standing in the hollway. The man quickly walked up to her and took Bartie from her arms.

“Who are you? And why are you taking Bartie?”

“Bartie is our son. We left him for Drake to babysit him while we were out. And you’re...?” The woman asked her.

“I’m Riley and I was here because Drake forgot his wallet from--”

“Ohhh!! You’re Drake’s girlfriend! I get it! He never tells me anything!” The woman smiled as she shook Riley’s hand.

“No, no, wait. Hold up, I’m not--”

“That changes everything! I’m so pleased to know Drake finally has someone. My name is Bertrand Beaumont, Duke of House Ramsford and this is my wife Savannah.”

“It’s so nice to meet you! Drake’s always very secretive and you seem very nice! And Bartie likes you!”

“Nice meeting you too but seriously, Drake and I are not dating!”

“Ah, I see you’re just as reserved as he is! Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us,” Savannah winked at her and Riley wanted to throw up. Her and Drake? Never, ever, ever, ever, eww.

“Well, you’re here now so I’m going to head out. It was a pleasure to meet you all, have a great night!” Riley said and practically ran out of the door.

“She seems nice,” Savannah told Betrand when there were only two of them.

“Indeed, my dear. She must be special if he decided to introduce her to Bartie.”

“Hey, I fixed the-- Oh.” Drake walked in noticing his sister and her husband. “Hey, you’re back.”

“We are! And we’ve just met your secret girlfriend, Riley!” Savannah clapped her hands and Drake’s eyes widened.

“My what?!” Riley, that’s a pretty name, huh.

“It’s okay, brother, we won’t tell anyone. She just left and I think we must have scared her away so I’m sorry you won’t be able to spend a nice, romantic night together.”

Him and Riley? Never, ever, ever, ever, ever.

“No, Sav, it’s not like that, we don’t--”

“Drake, I get it! You can tell me all about her when you’re ready! But for now we have news!” She beamed as took her husband’s hand.

“Indeed, we do. Our son Bartie is officially the heir to the Cordonian throne!”

[blackmist111]

Present

Warnings: swearing, self-degrading, injured, a bit blood, cheating, angst and shitty fic.

Word Count:  4565

A/N: This is my first fic. It’s shitty and bad. So….be kind! or be mean lol idk. Let me know what you think. So, this is bad because a) I’m not a writer, b) I’m not the type of a person that is good at describing feelings. I can feel things but not good at telling or describing them lol. Btw, I do not take requests. This is just an idea that has been in my head for like…forever I think. Forgive me if there’s any grammar error. Also! I was listening to The Christmas Song (Amazon Original) by JoJo while writing this (pretty fucked up of me writing angst fic while listening to a happy song lol). And Merry Christmas!

Notes: Reader is Jensen’s sister from The Losers. And the conversation between Natasha and Bucky is from American Horror Story : Hotel.

Summary: You got an early Christmas gift this year.

They are all blindly coming towards ‘you’ right now. Stupid. Smiling as you check all their cameras and leader’s coms in this cozy small café. Everything is going smoothly as you planned. Going on a mission like this really annoyed you because it takes patients, lots of plans and doing undercover. It’s not like you can’t do it, come on, you were trained by SHIELD and some of your fellow Avengers.

Watching them all went to one of the bunkers, hallways full of guarded armies ready to shoot. And with one click, all of that place explodes. Now their army’s busy dealing with that, all you gotta do is go to their leader and take the most dangerous microchip that can make the whole world chaos.

You pack your laptop and stuff, and pay your coffee. Your specialty is hacking, like your brother, Jensen. Only he’s more into military and you used to work at a tech company. The reason you being an Avenger was you hacked into SHIELD system after Loki’s tragedy in New York, trying to know who are these super heroes. Read all their information that you’re not supposed to know. And also stole three millions from Tony Stark. What? That man’s loaded anyway. One day before you’re going to work, suddenly all the electricity at your apartment were cut out. You open your bedroom door, and saw 15 SHIELD agents pointing guns at you. Turns out that nobody, NOBODY has ever hacked into SHIELD and Tony Stark system. Took 30 people to make the system unbreakable.

Turning off your car’s engine. Now you are currently at the leader’s mansion. Sneaking in from the back door to his office. Going undercover for ten months and got the access in this mansion, you memorised it like the back of your hands. Just as you thought, he is in there. knocking out the leader after taking that microchip and suddenly one of the maids saw you. Turns out she’s also a trained guard too. She picked up a knife and throws it towards you. Almost hit at your hand but you quickly turned to her and about to shoot her, but at the same time she already picked up another knife and running towards you. She threw herself at you but it’s too late for her because you already shot her. Actually it’s too late for the both of you because when you shot her, the knife is already when through your left side.

Pushing her body to the side, look down at place that you’ve been stabbed. Guess you got lucky because the cut didn’t deep enough to cause you to lose consciousness…yet. You try to stand up slowly while pressing the wound. Once you’re sure you can stand up properly, you making your way out of there.

“I got the chip and get Carlos ready with his medkit” you inform while driving. “Copy that. We’re almost there” after that, tossing the phone aside and place your hand on the wound. “Great. Just….great. Now how am I supposed to go to that party” talking to yourself.

When you arrive at the meeting point, the Quinjet is already there waiting for you. After you safely got in the Quinjet, Agent Carlos immediately by your side helping you to the chair that’s already look like a small bed. You don’t know how he did that but it is a bed now.

“Where is it?” Carlos asked, while his eyes searching you body.

“On my left side. Just a small stab” you chuckled “but you better hurry up ‘cause I’m starting to feel kinda dizzy”

Carlos help you laying down and getting started to treat your wound.

“Can you believe Stefani did this?”

“No way. I thought you were cool with her?” Carlos shocked.

“Uh uh. Swear to god, I think she was a ninja or something”

“A hot ninja” Carlos smirk at you. “Come on, man. She stabbed me” you whine. “Now, be gentle! It’s starting to hurt” you told him.

“I am! Now quiet”

After feeling like forever, you can’t stand the dead silent around you. So, you raise your head a little bit so that you can see Agent Kevin that’s flying the Quinjet. “Hey Kevin, would you please turn on some Christmas jazz or Christmas song or anything? I don’t wanna pass out in this dead silent” without wasting time, Kevin did what you asked him.

“You think we can make it to the party?” You asked to both of them.

“Hell yeah we can” Kevin said “When I’m flying, you bet your ass you’re gonna make it either early or on time” Kevin smiling at both of you and Carlos.

You don’t know how long you have been passed out but you wake up when Quinjet’s landing. Slowly you get up, you winced when you feel the pain on your side.

“Careful there. Y/n, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go to the party” Carlos said concerning, followed with Kevin said 'yeah’ behind, agreeing with him. “You need to get check that up in medbay” Kevin continue.

“No no no. It’s Christmas eve’s party guys. Pretty sure it’s gonna be awesome and I miss my girl” you smile at them, already making your way out of the Quinjet “plus, I think you patched me up quite good. Look!” With that, you do a lousy 'heel click’ jump they ever see.

Groaning, you immediately regret doing that. Both of them just sighs and follow you into the building.

-

After you cleaned yourself up, you making your way to the party wearing a simple cream thin turtleneck tuck in a navy pantsuit and white sneakers. When you got there the party is on full swing, some of them dancing, chatting and at the bar. You’re trying to look for your friends and your girlfriend, finally you found Steve, Bruce and Maria at the bar.

“Hey guys!”

“Y/n! You’re back!” Maria hugging you. “good to see you, y/n” Steve raising his glass at you. The four of you ended up chatting for awhile until Steve and Maria excuse themselves and left you with Bruce.

“So y/n, are you…okay?” Bruce asked you while sipping his drink.

“Of course. Why are you asking?” You asked back confusedly.

“Because since you got here, I saw that you’re always kept placing your right hand to your side” Bruce placing his drink on the counter. His attention is fully on you now.

You sigh. There’s nothing to hide you guess, and told him about your wound. Bruce almost drag you out of the party but you made sure that you are indeed okay. Sure, you still feel the pain and kinda dizzy but you’re missed too much of being home and not to forget, your girlfriend. Speaking of girlfriend, you ask Bruce about Natasha “do you happen to see Natasha, Bruce?”

“No…but before you came here I thought I saw her talking with some agents” Bruce looking around trying to find her.

“Oh okay. Well, I think I’m gonna look for her. See ya, green guy”

“A-are you SURE you’re okay?”

“100%! Don’t worry about me. Let’s just enjoy the party, pleaseee? It’s been like, what? 10 months?” you smiling at him “but-”

“Come on! It’s Christmas, Bruce. Enjoy a little bit” you cutting him and then leave to look for your girlfriend.

After 15 minutes asking your friends where is Natasha, you took a seat at the bar. “Can I have an ice water, please?” You asked, the bartender nodded and give you your order. All these walking and talking making you feel exhausted and thirsty “You look like you’re lost. Looking for someone?” The bartender asked.

You drink half of your water with a one gulp. “Actually, yeah. I’m looking for Natasha Romanoff, have you seen her?”

“I think I saw her, like 10 minutes ago. She left and went to that way and up” he’s pointing at the stairs behind you.

“Oh thanks! And the water too” with that information, you went up to the stairs. Looks like it’s gonna be a long night you think. 10 minutes looking for her in these meeting rooms and debriefing rooms, you stop for awhile and went to your office. Where is she? Is she playing hide and seek with me? You thought. Sitting at your office desk, sighing but winced at the pain, you look down at your sweater and found that there’s blood on it. You pull it up and see that the cut starts to bleed a little and blood soaks through the bandage and your sweater. Guess I really need to go to medbay. You thought. Pulling it down, you log on to your computer. Still not giving up, you went into a security cameras and looking 20 minutes before you arrived at you office.

Finally, you see her in the footage. It’s true she went to the stairs but she took the elevator to her room. With that, not wasting any time you get up and going to her room. You and Natasha has been together for almost two years and the mission you just got back took you 10 months without contact anyone except your backup, Carlos and Kevin. Forget this wound 'cause you’re missing your girlfriend like crazy. Your relationship is still not on the 'share a room’ level but when you were on that last mission, you actually thought maybe you could ask her.

Natasha is the first person that actually care about you. Not like your exes. They used you either for their ego boost or sex and most of them are narsissists. But Natasha, she cares about you, she listens and remember the little things about you that even you, don’t even realize that you always do. And it makes you for the first time feel appreciated by someone that actually loves you back. Not just one sided.

-

It usually took you at least three minutes to her room from your office. But this time seems like three hours. Maybe it’s just a dizzy thinking. You thought. Arrived at her room, you heard loud music coming from her room. Knocking on her door twice still no answer. Maybe she’s taking a shower. You thought.

You open the door slowly, you hear heavy breathing. What is this song Nat’s been listening to? You thought. And then, moans….you hear moans. You went in two feet from the door, and saw Natasha straddling and grinding on a guy in her bed. Both of them naked. You don’t know what to say or even do anything. That guy. That guy has a metal arm. You don’t know much guys that has a metal arm.

“Nat….” You whispered. You immediately get out from that room. Went to the elevator and pressing the first floor button. The dizzy have became a headache and you’re sweating but at the same time you feel cold. Besides that, you’re supposed to, you know, crying? Because you just saw your girlfriend cheating on you with your friend.

You’re not the angry or emotional type of person. But this is the time you’re supposed to cry or angry or FEEL something. You feel numb. Making your way out from the elevator to the front door. You need to get out from here. Now.

“Y/n?” Ugh not now. You thought. You keep walking to the door.

“Hey, are you okay?” It’s Bruce that found you here. “I’m okay, Bruce” He walks and stand in front of you, blocking your way. “Y/n, you look so pale” he’s putting his hands on your shoulders trying to get a better look at you “oh my god. You’re burning up, y/n” he said that after putting the back of his hand on your forehead.

“Let’s get you to the medbay” he’s about to guide you back to the elevator. But you immediately protest by squeezing his arm. “Please. Not here, Bruce. Please. Not in this buildin-” without finishing the sentence, you pass out in Bruce’s arms.

-

Opening your eyes, you realized that you’re not in medbay or in your room. This is someone else’s room. You began to panic and started to get up in a sitting position but winced at the pain on your side.

“You shouldn’t do that” Bruce walking in the room with a glass and a water bottle in his hands. Putting them on the bedside table, he’s sitting on the bed beside you.

“Where am I?” You asked him with a hoarse voice. Hearing that, he turned to the bedside table took the water bottle, pour it into the glass and hand it to you. “You’re at my place right now” watching you drink “you’ve been passed out for almost two days. And I already treat your cut and changed the bandage” Bruce explained to you.

Hearing this makes you feel a little relieved until “did you tell anyone?”

Bruce sighs.

“Bruce”

“No, y/n. I don’t because before you passed out, you looked so pale and you’re kinda begging me not to go to that building” you exhale loudly, closing your eyes feeling fully relieved.

“Y/n. Do you want to tell me why you’re avoiding that place?”

You close your eyes for a moment. Besides Natasha, Bruce is the closest friend to you. And that is why he did exactly what you told him before you passed out.

“Its okay if you’re not ready. I underst-”

“She cheated on me” the tears started to gather in your eyes. Trying to hold it by clenching your jaw, while looking at the wall in front of you. Your vision was blurry and it was difficult for you to see clearly

Silence.

Bruce looking you at shocked. There’s a million questions that he wants to ask but refuse to do so because looks like you’re not finish. A minute after a silence, finally you look at him “she cheated on me, Bruce” your voice crack. Tears slowly spilled over the sides of your eyes. Bruce holding your hands.

“With who?”

You sniffled, still trying to look strong. “Bucky” you whispered, looking at him. Bruce slowly pulling you hands and hugging you. “I’m so sorry, y/n” he comforts you. Pulling away from him, wiping your tears.

“You know, a small part of me already knew that this is gonna happen. It’s because I always have this bad luck when it comes to love. I don’t know what have I done wrong but when I think of it maybe it’s me. I’m the problem. I didn’t pay attention to her, hell I can’t even give what Bucky’s can, to make her full. I-I’m still not ready to do that stage in this relationship. After all these years, all my exes used me. I even told her about that and she said she’s completely understand and willing to wait. I loved her, Bruce. So much. Seeing her with him on her bed, I….I-I don’t know. When we were making it official, I know its too good to be true. Look at her. And look at me. She’s way WAY out of my league. And Bucky…they have so much in common. Make sense now. I was too stupid too realize it. To think that I have a chance with her. Stupid, useless, hopeless piece of shi-”

“Stop. Stop right there” Bruce cutting you off your rambling. Listening to what you’ve just said making his blood boiled “You are not stupid or anything that you said. You’re not the one to blame here, y/n. They are. And they’re gonna pay for what they did to you” Bruce told you angrily and his voice crack almost turning to Hulk’s voice.

Hearing this, you saw his veins starting to turn green too. And immediately holding his hands to keep him calm. “No no. Breathe, Bruce. Breathe” you tried to calm him down. He took a couple of deep breaths and rubbing his temples. “It’s okay. I don’t want to hurt anybody”

“But you’re hurting, y/n”

“I know…but it’s alright. I’ve dealt with this many times before. I can do it one more” you smile at him but all he sees is a broken smile with tears in your eyes. “So,” sniffing and wiping the remaining tears on your cheeks “how was you Christmas?”

“It was uh…it was good I guess” he said, sighing “and thanks to you because if you’re not here I guess I’ll be spending Christmas here alone” giving you a small smile.

“I’m sorry I’ve ruined your Christmas”

“No, you’re not. You never ruin anything. Come here” Bruce pulling you for a hug.

-

“It’s been three weeks, y/n. I think she’s getting suspicious and worry” Bruce said while both of you having breakfast.

“She even interrogating two agents that went to the same mission with you” hearing this, you only chuckled. Poor those two bastards. “Did she ask you anything?”

“Yeah, asked me if I saw you. I only said that I talked to you during that party. Steve also were there too to confirm that” he inform you, while cutting his pancakes to pieces.

Both of you talk about anything else after that. By the time you both finished breakfast, Bruce getting ready to go to Avengers Facility. And you hopping on the couch with your laptop, ready to watch your favorite show. “Alright. I’ll see you in…I’ll see you when I see you” smiling at you.

“Okay. Don’t forget to eat, Bruce” with that Bruce making his way to the door and off to work.

-

It’s 1 pm and you’re feeling bored. You got out from the couch and searching for some snacks and return back to your laptop. Staring at your laptop, you’ve thought about this since last week but can’t seem to do it. Hacking the Avengers building’s security cameras.

Feeling hesitant for a moment but when you think of it, there’s nothing harm doing it. It’s just a normal day for you, for them. Nothing’s weird gonna happen. You began your work hacking into the system. Took you five minutes to made into the system without they tracking you.

First, you see Steve training with Wanda. And then you move to another camera and saw Maria having a meeting with agents in the meeting room. Seems pretty normal. You’re about to move to the kitchen’s camera but accidentally move to another meeting room’s camera. That’s when you saw Natasha and Bucky debriefing agents in a bigger meeting room.

You feel like your heart stops beating. Seeing her for the first time after that incident with him makes you stop breathing and the world suddenly becomes five times slower. Turning up the sound a little bit so you can hear what they’re talking about. And hearing her voice makes it even worse. That voice used to be the most favorite sound of your entire life. For three weeks you’ve been avoiding this feeling, avoid all the tears, trying to be strong. Even Bruce worry about you not crying or screaming or something. You’re just sitting here, alone, staring and not talking. Bruce find it really disturbing that you’re acting so calm.

But you’re not calm. There’s so many emotions that are fighting in you and begging you to let it all out after all these years of being used. No, that’s a weak person would do. Emotions.

After 30 minutes watching them with tears on your cheeks, all agents finally done with the meeting and making their way out from there except Natasha and Bucky.

She followed the last agent to the door, closed it and locked. Wiping the tears on your eyes for you to see clearly. She turned around and walking back to Bucky. “How’s everything with y/n? Any sign of her?”

“Still nothing. Couldn’t find her anywhere. Seems like she’s disappeared” Natasha sighed, Bucky turning to her “Hey, it’s going be okay, Nat. Probably she’s on another mission?”

“No, she’s not. Agent Carlos and Agent Kevin’s reports said that she were injured during that mission. Even Steve and Bruce talked to her at the party” she said, frustrated.

“It’s going to be alright. She’ll turn up anytime soon, hm?” Bucky looking at her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I-I’m just….worry” she hugging Bucky.

Bucky hug her back but after that his hand move down to squeeze her ass. “Mmm I love it when you do that” she said. They began kissing passionately until Natasha slowly pulling away “and love that too” pecking his lips “everything” she smiling at him.

“But I thought you love y/n”

“I do love her. But at the same time you make me feel woman enough when I’m with you” Natasha explained.

“Natalia…you are woman enough for me. When I look at you, I see something of my vanished world”

“We can have that world again. Right now” with that they’re both started to kiss each other and you slam your laptop screen closed. Crying your eyes out like there is no tomorrow.

You wake up and your surrounding is dark. You fell asleep, exhausted after crying. Looking at the clock, it’s 12 am. Getting up and go to the kitchen drinking some water. Looking for something to eat but guess this morning’s breakfast was the last supply that Bruce have. You have to eat something because when your stomach’s empty, you’re going to get a headache and that’s the last thing you want. So, moving to bathroom washing your face. Remove tears stains. Looking at your pathetic self in the mirror that can’t make Natasha woman enough. Worthless. You sighed and take your phone dialing Bruce’s number.

“Hello?”

“Hey, when you’re gonna get home?”

“Uh probably late or just gonna crash here. Whats up?”

“Oh cool. Just letting you know that, there’s no food here!”

“Shit. I forgot”

“The hell you are!” You heard Bruce chuckled.

“Okay okay. Listen, there’s a 24 hours convenience store around the block. Buy anything you want, there’s some cash in the bowl beside the tv. Or order a pizza if you want”

Looking at the tv, you saw there is a bowl. Walking there, you took out the cash and count it. There’s four hundred bucks. More than enough. “Found it! Alright I’m going out”

“Be careful, okay” after that both of you said goodbye. Picking up you jacket and walking out the door to the convenience store.

Walking outside really make you head feels a little bit clear. Even though, your heart still hurts. She’s happy now, y/n. You’re just in her way. You thought. In the store, picking out some snacks, sodas and a couple packs of ramen. Wow, what are you? A college student? You’re at the candy isle still couldn’t decide what chocolate brand you’re gonna buy, there’s a boy not too far from you. Looks like he’s 10 years old, looking at all the candies in front of him.

He picked one of them and immediately putting it in his jacket. When he’s about to do the same, you walked to him “Stop” putting your hand on his shoulder. He turned around, eyes wide from shocked that he got caught shoplifting. You asked him why he did it, and he told you that he’s so hungry and there’s no food at home and he lives with his grandpa. His grandpa only can afford a meal for a day. Hearing this, makes your heart broken even more and told him to empty his pockets. And take anything he needs, and you’re gonna pay for him.

He hugged you and says 'thank you’ to you like 20 times, non-stop. You chuckled. “What’s your name, kid?”

“Lucas”

Both of you picking out things that you both needed together. When you’re about to walk to the cashier with Lucas, you see a man holding out a gun at the cashier. “Now and make it quick!”

The robber probably thinks that the store was empty because he didn’t see both of you not too far behind him. You’re about to take a step towards the robber but Lucas pulling back your hand. You look back at him, he’s shaking his head trying to tell you that its a bad idea what you are about to do. Seeing this, you handing him your cash “here, take this. Once I got his attention, you get some help” he quickly nodding his head. “Now go hide” Lucas turned away but you pull him back “and please. No more stealing”

“I promise” with that, he went back to hiding from the robber’s sight.

Slowly you making your way behind the robber, kicking the back of his knee and smacking your elbow to his head making him fall to the ground. But the gun is still in his hand. Stepping on his hand to make him let go of the gun. “Now, Lucas!”

The boy immediately ran out of the store, looking for help. Kicking away the gun from him and making sure the cashier is alright but once the cashier about to answer, the robber got up and body-slamming you to the ground. Unfortunately, your head hit the ground first, made you feel kinda dizzy and a bit disoriented. But you shake it off and got up. You tried to punch him but he dodged it and punch you in your stomach so hard that you fell on your back. The cashier turn on the alarm and hearing this, the robber panicked and hit the cashier until his unconscious. And he picked up his gun, pointing at you “stay down! Or imma shoot you!”

You slowly get up, holding up your hands out in front of you “you don’t have to do this”

“Shut up!”

“Don’t do it-”

Bang.

The robber ran away after he shot you. You feel slight stinging and look down at your stomach there’s a blood pouring out through your shirt. You started to slowly stumbling backwards and fell while holding your stomach. So here you are sitting down, putting a pressure down to your stomach. Suddenly you remembered what your brother told you what it feels like when he got shot “just a little pinch. Nothing’s hurt” his voice echoing in your head.

The thing is, this is nothing like a pinch at all. You feel burning radiating through your core. As you sitting there waiting for help to come, you began fading in and out of consciousness. Finally you saw Lucas coming in rushing beside you.

“Hold on, okay. The help is coming”

“Thanks, kid” you smiled at him “but I don’t think I’m gonna make it” you groan, the burning in your stomach started to feel worse.

“No no. H-hold on a little bit. They’re gonna be here any second”

You’re trying to hold on but his voice is getting further and further. And your eyes started to feel so heavy. This is it. You thought. There’s nothing you regret if you let go. Your brother’s taking a good care of your niece. Your friends are happy, Natasha is happy now. Lucas have the money that he can survive without having to steal again. Everyone around you is in good hand. With that one last thought, you took one last deep breath and follow into the darkness.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 4x04-- The Gang is Satirized and Doesn’t Like It

The gang doesn’t like being satirized and I don’t like this episode.

No episode needs to be 57 minutes long. Is it possible that seeing the runtime put me in a bad mood before watching this episode? Absolutely.

Bianca is still trying to get Lucca to take a week off and come play on the beach. This is weird, right?

She’s using a drone to take a selfie which… yikes. Bianca asks what Lucca has in Chicago to match the beach. Lucca takes a look out the window and instead of seeing FakeChicago, she sees a window washer’s ass crack. Lucca protests that she has work in Chicago and can’t leave (are we going to mention her baby?). Before Bianca can ask more questions, David Lee calls Lucca into a meeting.

A former client who says he’s been “bouncing from one [firm] to the other” (which sort of explains why David Lee and Lucca would both have experience with this client who was at RBL a year ago?) is angry because he’s being defamed by a new play. He says his divorce is in the play and wants to sue.

Lucca ChumHums the playwright and recognizes him as a former associate. She brings the case to Adrian’s attention. Before Adrian understands that confidential info made it into the play, he talks about how you shouldn’t give satire oxygen because it will just go away. Easier said than done, huh, Adrian? 

They DID actually fire Alan North for drug use last year. We never saw the actor but his firing was referenced as precedent for firing Maia. Thanks Alan, I guess? 

(Right, I used to spend most of these recaps complaining about Maia! It is very nice not to be doing that anymore.)

Adrian jumps into the case to prevent the client from suing RBL.

We have to see the scene that ended the last episode again. That’s a little clumsy. Maybe trim the stuff we’ve already seen in an episode that’s this long? 

How does Jay POSSIBLY know that one specific dude up at STRL is blocking Diane from searching “What is Memo 618” on Bar-Swarm? I have questions.

Diane immediately heads upstairs to ask this dude about Memo 618. Jay wonders if that’s smart and Diane doesn’t care. As I said to an anon earlier, I feel like now is the time to get a journalist on the case.

Even though Diane storms upstairs uninvited, she’s told “they’re waiting for you.” Creepy.

Diane meets a lot of people, including Bryan Kneef (of internet blocking fame) and a dude who won’t stop hiccuping. 

Oh GOD are we going to have to hear one of these stupid stories from Mr. Firth in every single episode? No fucking wonder this episode is so long. 

Bryan is mad at Diane for poaching his clients. Diane has no idea what he’s talking about. Diane seems to know that her investigator is checking his clients to figure out why he’s blocking her internet. Does Diane actually know Jay is investigating his clients? Or is she just assuming that’s how he found out who was doing the blocking? Because literally as soon as Diane heard Kneef’s name she ran upstairs; there would be no time for her or Jay to begin looking into his clients. 

Mr. Firth asks for Diane not to steal Kneef’s clients and Kneef not to block Diane’s internet access. They agree, but it’s clear neither of them are going to stop doing what they were doing. 

Jay discovers that one of Kneef’s cases disappeared… when he was losing.

Oh, Caleb’s last name is Garlin, not Garland. Noted. Also, I think I mistakenly said STRL was British a few weeks ago. It doesn’t appear to be. 

Marissa bothers Caleb again and asks him to tell her a joke. He does, but she’s unimpressed. 

Caleb has a photographic memory. I like Caleb so far. I feel like he’s kind of what they wanted Finn to be-- a charming good guy. But we’ll see; it’s early yet. 

Caleb gives Diane the number of a legal code the judge needed to review. In a sequence that goes on 30 seconds too long, Diane discovers this code redirects to another code, which redirects right back endlessly. Fun! 

When Diane goes to check a physical book, she discovers all the legal books are fake. Sounds about right. 

Ah, this terrible attorney who hits on young women is back because of reasons related to the other case that disappeared. Marissa is now helping Diane with her 618 quest, maybe because she’s met this creep before?

Diane offers to represent him (he’s being sued for doing a shitty job on disappearing case).

Meanwhile, Adrian and Charlotte go to see “Cocksucker in Chains”, which turns out to be about an African American firm populated by characters who are clearly supposed to be the RBL partners. Julius narrates the play, Adrian likes to be dominated by the Diane character while roleplaying a slave to Diane’s dominatrix (yikes), etc. Adrian is named “Aiden” and Diane is “Dana”. This seems like a good time to remind you all of the original TGW character names from the Pilot outline: Alicia Follick, David Follick (and David Follick Jr.!!!), Dawna Lockhart, and Will Garvin.

The first time through, I was appreciative (and shocked) we got so few scenes from the play. Usually if the Kings have a device like this, we tend to get… more of the device than is necessary. Y’all know how this one turns out. 

This play, from what we see of it, looks kind of terrible. That said, I think it’s SUPER realistic, and interesting, that a low-level black associate would see all the white people coming into the firm as “dominating” a black man who gets off on being submissive. I don’t think that’s an accurate characterization of Adrian’s actions but if you don’t know his reasoning or how things played out, it absolutely could seem like Diane has all the power. And I imagine that young, idealistic lawyers who signed on to work at a firm that was proudly all-black would not have been thrilled by Diane’s sudden appearance and all of the changes that followed. Remember how in season one RBL had things it stood for and then Barbara left and then all it stood for was money?

Relatedly, remember that little throwaway line about how Barbara donated MORE money to HRC than Diane Lockhart did? Heh.

Adrian, as the episode title indicates, DOES NOT LIKE BEING SATIRIZED and tells Lucca they need to shut the play down. That escalated quickly.

Please explain to me how I accidentally memorized the name of the actor playing Kovac but didn’t memorize the character’s name. 

Diane tells Liz and Adrian about her latest Memo 618 adventure and Adrian keeps asking why this matters. “I’m not asking for your permission; I’m just filling you in,” Diane notes. “Maybe you should be asking for our permission,” Adrian counters because he does not want to be dominated by Diane. “Maybe. But I’m not,” she responds.

Liz thinks that Adrian acted weirdly. Adrian explains he doesn’t like how Diane insinuates she can overrule them. Liz has no idea what Adrian is talking about. So he explains the play. Liz still doesn’t think it’s a big deal and asks to take it over.

She then gets Caleb involved-- I guess Lucca is just done working now? Okay? It was nice to have Lucca scenes in this episode while it lasted!!! 

Liz and Caleb go to see the play and now we get to see the scenes where Liz is satirized. Fake Liz sings, because of COURSE they are going to have the FAKE version of her sing. Her song is about how her daddy is a sexual predator. It’s quite upsetting.

Liz and Caleb stay for a Q&A in which the playwright says the client in the play was “based on” (not “inspired by”). (Actually this happens after my second bullet but meh)

Then there’s a white woman who goes on a rant that feels too ridiculous to be true but apparently it’s lifted almost verbatim from an actual incident that happened at a Slave Play Q&A (I am not New York enough to have gotten the reference without the internet’s help). 

Monica is back! Yay Monica! Nikki just needs to show up on Evil next season and she’ll have been on every Kings show. 

Blah blah 618 blah blah. I don’t dislike this arc but I don’t have much to say about it. Like, I get it, corporations are powerful and the law is fake and this is a way of commenting on the insanity of the world while backing away from the politics. But other than saying that and enjoying the twists and turns… I don’t have anything to add.

Man, I miss character based drama. That’s not a criticism of the show, but this recap format is way less interesting (to write, and probably to read) when I don’t have anything to sink my teeth into.

Adrian doesn’t want to settle because now Adrian is mad. The client gets what he wants and Adrian insists they keep going. I mean, if the episode stopped now it would be a reasonable, even short, episode, and we’ve got fifty seven whole minutes to fill..

Liz is also on board to prolong the case. Lucca, who actually has perspective, tells Adrian he’s not acting in the client’s best interest. Adrian denies it. LOL, sure. 

At this exact moment Lucca receives (and looks at) a text from Bianca, who is still pursuing her. Tempting.

Liz asks Marissa if she’s heard of Cocksucker in Chains. She has, and she is getting a “gang” together to go see it, because of course she is.

David Lee enjoys the play. Diane and Kurt, less so. Julius and his wife do not like it at all. Also apparently we HAD seen Julius’s wife before and I somehow FORGOT?????

Play!Julius monologuing about justice makes Real!Julius reevaluate his decisions. 

Then we get into this weird Diane and Kurt sex plot that is kind of about the idea of problematic kinks (like getting off on watching a fake version of your white wife whip a black man) but is mostly just an excuse for fanservice in the form of Christine Baranski in sexy get-ups. She’s got an amazing figure, but does that alone justify this subplot? (I say no.)

(Also I’d be way more invested in a plotline about McHart’s sex life if it didn’t begin and conclude in the back half of a single episode. It’s sparked by the play-- not any ongoing issues-- and concludes in a cute way so to me it is… nothing.)

Marissa goes undercover as a playwright. Everyone in the group dislikes the writer of Cocksucker in Chains… a lot. They hand over the drafts easily.

Liz and Caleb spend a late night reading smut said by fake Liz in an early draft script to each other. Over it already. I was never a fan of boss/employee plots, and in this era, with this character who has SO MUCH potential but never really gets plotlines of her own, I have zero patience for this bullshit. Liz deserves better.

What really confuses me is that somehow Liz/Caleb is supposed to be about… investigating what interracial relationships are like???? If they’re so insistent on showing this can’t they… do something other than this? Random stranger at a bar?

I do not like this thing that is happening to Liz where whenever she gets a plot of her own it’s about fucking someone she shouldn’t be fucking. I haven’t forgotten what the writers did to Geneva Pine in late season seven for LITERALLY NO REASON. 

Liz would not flirt with an employee. Like, just stop. Liz has spent the last year coming to terms with her father being a serial assailant and we are going to deal with that by… having her make eyes at Caleb? That is not interesting or complicated.

And, tbh, it’s especially insulting to Liz when none of this feels motivated in character and ALL of it feels motivated in “we need a sexy forbidden romance so we can explore themes.” Get this plot away from Liz. 

This episode is too long, in case I haven’t already said that enough times.

And now the scene in which Bryan Kneef, the latest Rebel Dude Lawyer, says the word “ass” many times. I repeat: this episode is too long. 

Mr. Firth talks to Diane about pursuing 618. I don’t understand Mr. Firth’s deal. Why does he let Diane continue? Is he just a person who happens to be powerful who is actually trying to do a fair job and be understanding? This show just doesn’t have characters like that so you see why I am skeptical.

Again with the window washers. Of all the symbols of the problems with office life, this one?! (It plays especially poorly right now-- I wish that my biggest problem with my workspace was that there are people cleaning the windows to make my view nicer and not, you know, that my current workspace is my bedroom.) 

Firth goes to see Lucca next. Lucca says she doesn’t like her new standing desk. Wait. They got desks that are standing ONLY without consulting the employees? 

This scene is succeeding in making me miss the standing desk that I’ve only ever used as a standing desk, like, twice. 

No one on this show has a monitor at their desk. I wonder if that’s true to life for law firms. 

Now Bianca has found a way to make it part of Lucca’s JOB to come hang out at the beach and this is making me uncomfortable. Firth tells Lucca to go, even though Lucca shares her concern that Bianca just wants a friend. Firth somehow has a similar story to share and tells Lucca “the rich are not like us.” K. Sure. Maybe we can get away with calling Lucca well-off instead of rich but Firth? Rich. Maybe not ultra wealthy but dude is rich. 

SERIOUSLY what is with the window washers?

Enjoy this scene of Diane the dominatrix, fans. It’s here for you. 

(I don’t mean that snarkily against fans. I mean that snarkily against the show.)

The stock footage clip with the moon over Chicago is one of the more interesting stock footage clips I’ve seen the show use (plus it actually looks like the neighborhood Diane would live in!)

Oh I am just so thrilled that at the 44 minute mark, we are starting to do a series of unnecessary scenes in which the characters converse with their actor counterparts. What a good use of time.

And the sad thing is that I should like this device… but I don’t. None of this is actually building up the characters for me? How invested can I be in Diane and Kurt’s sex life problems when I’ve known about them for less than half of the episode? How interested can I be in deconstructing 

And I don’t need a scene of Julius debating if he should be honest or not, because the scene of him watching the play was enough to make me understand he’s having doubts about complying with 618.

And you know what I REALLY, TRULY, DO NOT NEED? ALL OF THIS ATROCIOUS LIZ/CALEB PLOT. 

Why is Play Liz so horny? What about Real Liz made the playwright write Liz to be like this? And if it’s not accurate, why is it getting under Liz’s skin like this? I get the Diane one because it was a turn-on and it makes Diane wonder about dominating (outside of the bedroom, too). I get the Adrian one because I mean holy shit that’s a big claim to make. And I get the Julius one because Julius loves to be the voice of reason/hear his own voice and feels like a hypocrite. But Liz? What the fuck is this nonsense?

Liz saying “I’m his boss” and talking about HR does not excuse the fact that we are pretending a boss/employee romance is a good plotline in 2020. And I’m so confused about why THIS is the way they are choosing to explore an interracial relationship.

I have watched TV shows before so obviously as soon as I saw Liz get on the elevator, I knew from the fact that we were watching her leave… she wasn’t going to leave. She was going to go and fuck her employee. Great writing guys. 

This also managed to remind me of all my anger at the Red Team Blue Team Willicia kiss (they previewed it as a sneak peak and I was excited that it it didn’t end with them kissing because that’s so cliche… then I watched the episode and I’m still furious about it in season four of the spinoff.) so thanks for that too, writers. 

Why is Fake Liz’s stupid song so goddamn long? 

“Oh God help me,” Liz says as she knowingly goes to make an incredibly stupid decision I have NOT A SINGLE REASON to believe she would make. But this is The Good Fight, and on The Good Fight we care about plot more than characters. 

(Oh. I am in a bad mood.) 

The client wants out of the suit because… I mean, duh? He got what he wanted and this should have stopped at like the 20 minute mark?

If I never had to see another one of these “boss and employee awkwardly talk in the office about how it’s nbd they fucked last night” scenes again I would be OVER THE MOON. I watched all of Willicia and I will rewatch all of Willicia, is that not enough?! 

I do like Caleb so far, but man, that just makes this worse! I like Caleb and I like Liz and maybe I could even like them together but I am so furious they’re doing the boss/employee thing it just makes me sad to see this happen to characters I like. 

Diane is now circling the word “ass” in transcripts of the deposition, but the suit’s been dropped because the suit was settled for 1.8 million. (I am sure that’s a lot to the victim and absolutely nothing to the corporation.) 

Also Kovac brings Diane a bird because WE LOVE WACKINESS ON THE GOOD FIGHT. 

And now for a scene in which a mysterious visitor gives Kurt a warning to stop Diane from pursuing something dangerous. I thought we were done with this. This shit is what I hated about the Book Club arc in season three: the stakes got too high for me to take it seriously. They run the risk of doing the same with Memo 618. Keep it small scale. 

Kurt tells Diane about his visitor, and Kurt and Diane both recognize that this is similar to what happened last year, so at least there’s continuity. 

Diane says this isn’t about politics. I mean. Not overtly. But that’s the point. This whole arc is a thinly veiled way of exploring how the legal system breaks down when there’s no enforcement, and lack of enforcement is tied to politics, so… is this really as apolitical as Diane wants it to seem? Certainly it’s less political than Book Club but I don’t think a radical group should be the benchmark.

Diane promises she’ll drop 618, then gets an idea to spice up her sex life by modifying her dominatrix costume into a sexy cowgirl costume. (Diane is not going to drop 618. This is episode 4.)

Did Diane just grab a gun from the bathroom? Why are there guns in the bathroom? I guess it makes sense if she was planning this.

Oh and that’s the end of the episode!!! I DID IT!!!! I MADE IT THROUGH HIS EPISODE A SECOND TIME!

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x14 Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon  (Kat)  good night babe

@waywardbaby  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13

Giulia: Splash

14x14 Ouroboros

Zee: Can’t relive this. With Jack

Nat: I cry

Zee&Giu: I believe in us

Nat: Fuck this

Giulia: Ok sam

Zee: I do believe in us

Giulia: I ain’t got enough coffee in my blood

Zee: The end?? How dare he?

AAAND HERE WE ARE

[ Retro French pop music plays ] IS THIS A THING NOW?

Nat: Uhh...Mexico, Ellaaaa

Zee: Giuls, thoughts??

I see no wrongdoing here. The pasta is being dump into the water while it’s boiling. Garlic! YUM. That looks like too much sauce for that much pa- let’s be honest here, once can never be have too much sauce who cares. Ok I see olive oil, yellow bell pepper ( which is the best one ok) , garlic, onions, zucchini, and I think there’s parmigian cheese and *disgusted sound* cilantro, and a body....

Nat: Well, isn't that tasty

Giulia: ...I’M HUNGRY

Zee: Strike that

Nat: Fresh liver

Giulia: THE CILANTRO GUYS ! YUCK

[SIZZLES]

Nat: NO

Oh he’s making like fried liver, that was not cheese but grated bread ok ok I see you THAT LOOKS TASTY( you forgot the flour tho ok)

Nat: I'm more grossed out by the liver than the snake

Zee: Excuse me while I barf

Theeeey’re HEEEEEERE

Nat: Ohhh... babes

Zee: Shut. The. Fuck. Up

Giulia: those look tasty too

Creepy motherfucker , who is weirdly making me tingling with his cooking skill, : time to go Felix.

Giulia&Nat: A SNACK FOR LATER

Giulia: I WISH

Nat: NO How about no, He just left his meal cooking. Could burn the house down

Giulia: yeah real rude. Killing people and burning houses down

Nat: Mmmhh...snack

Giulia: Omg Jack’s plaid coat. Jack has amazing coats game y’all.

Nat: snacks

Zee: Three of them

oh...now they are all 4 of them ?

Nat: all of them,  well, no except one

Zee: Jack is a baby

Dean has a surprisingly soft steps. 

C: Oh no

I know Cass baby, that bitch fucked up a perfectly good pasta that’s what he did.

Giulia: Dean is us

D: Yeah who just let themselves be eaten?

Giulia: I’d let myself be eaten by you 

D: My money is on witchcraft.

R: Och, you, always blaming witches

D: Cause a lot of times is witches

Rowena basically : I was minding my glorious business when you whiny bitches called to beg for my help

D: Well we’ve been chasing this guy for weeks. What’s your point

Nat: Awww...Deano calm yo tits

Nat: Dean tossing things is my kink

Zee: Kinks again Nat?

Nat: Can you blame me? I'm FINE

Giulia: Hello castiel

R: Not enough Pantera posters for one.

Dean looking almost amused

Giulia: Coughing jack is my (1) fear

Jack: I’m fINe , I’M NoT dYinG . 

Nat: yeah, right, Jack

Nat: Dean..please!

R: Darling boy, everything means something.

Giulia: Be a dear and bring the snakeskin

Sam and Rowena research date night

R: You say [high pitched voice] ‘oh it’s just some magic and you think I’d leave it at that?’

Nat: Ahh..Sam puffing his chest

R: I’m more curious about how your brother is managing to keep an archangel locked away inside his mind.

S: Because....he’s Dean [read this as Batman]

Giulia&Zee: Dean is dean

Zee&Giulia: He’s fine

Nat: DEAN IS NOT FINE

Zee: Giuls. Shut up

Giulia: Zee 🖕🏻

DATE NIGHT!!

Look at them HAAAAANDS cradling the mug.

D: You know, I got to say, I got a pretty good feeling about bringing Rowena in on this one. I think her and Sam have a chance of cracking it.

me: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

C: They do have many books.

D: Yes, they do.

Zee: Worried husband

C: Hey Dean...

D: I’m fine....

ok ok ok ...I ADORE this shot! you’ll see this often in my feed , just fyi

C: What you're doing, even just sitting here and having a cup of coffee, is a Herculean feat. I can't imagine the willpower

Giulia: hey dean. Oh how I adore how he talks  

WHAT IS THAT LOOK DEAN

[Jack dying in the bathroom]

Giulia: JACK STOP FUCKING COUGHING

[Jack spitting blood] 

me : *stares in the distance, lost in my ptsd vietnam episode*

Zee: Are you really fine?

Nat: NO OF COURSE HE ISN'T

Cas is like.... DONT U LIE TO ME, i have no right to tell you this because of a recent stupid thing I did but DON’T LIE TO MY FACE

WHAT IS THIS LOOOOOOOOOOOOOK 

Zee: That’s what I’m supposed to say

D: ...That’s what we all say

Dean’s like.... yeah ok he can read right through me.

[ starting operation ‘ let’s lower our walls’ in 3....]

[....2......]

[......1...]

Giulia: Still even more convinced that they will use michael grace on jack

Giulia: Those eye lines are ruining me

D: There's this pounding in my head. It never stops. 

Castiel’s face:

D:  Michael's in there, and he is fighting hard to get out.

D: And I can't let my guard down... not for a second.

Me: I’ll cheer to that bro

C:  Well, that is not sustainable.

Giulia: THIS SHOW IS NOT SUSTAINABLE

D: ....It's on me.

Nat: IT'S NOT FUCKING ON YOU 

C: We are here to help you.

me: *SOBS*

D: I know that, and I appreciate that. I do.

[JACK STILL DYING IN THE BATHROOM]

Nat: fuck this

Zee: That kid is gonna die in the fucking bathroom

Giulia: U FUCKER STOP

Nat: IF... IF.... IF

D: If you don’t ....

THIS LOOKS ARE KILLING ME

D: We still have plan B

Nat: Fuck plan B

Giulia: NO ONE LIKES PLAN B

Zee: Coffin Ocean Done

Nat: NOT even plan B likes Plan B

Jack’s like : yo you finished with the eye fucking and feelings sharing so I don’t feel embarrassed by you two in public? 

Castiel’s like : I’m out with two problematic kids who don’t tell me nothing

Nat: EVERYBODY'S FINE

Dean:

Giulia: We are fiNe

C: Okay, um...these killings -- it seems like there's a ritualistic quality to the crime scenes, right? It's almost liturgical.

Zee: Greek there for ya

Giulia: thank you Mr.Portokalos 

D: Ah yeah. See that one I knew.

Dean...you cute fucker I swear

J: Anyone who could do this is a monster...I mean, even if they're human.

D: Looks like Sam and Rowena have something

Nat: Sam and Rowena have something wink wink

THEY DOOOOO ? (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

D: This is like an A.V. Club presentation.

Giulia: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

J: What's an A.V. Club?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

C: It's a special group for people who do not play sports.

Giulia: I love the av club, where do I sign in?

Dean points at Cas ��He’s the av club” [insert Oprah gif]

Giulia: IM DEAD

also how does Cas knows that? was that included in Metatron’s pop culture packet?

Nat: Of course he'll know

Zee: Jack is precious

R: Excuse me, boys, but this is a bit more pressing than your hilarious banter.

Excuse me Rowena , nothing is more pressing than their hilarious banter

CAS WHAT ARE U DOING , CONTROL YOUR EYEBROW

Giulia: clash of the titans. (Not gonna lie, I almost wrote clash of the tits). Just fyi

Zee&Nat: Of course you did

R: You know about Medusa?.

I’m sorry but....everyone knows about Medusa.  Ok ok this was mainly for the giggles and all because, you bet your ass that Dean would know who the fuck Medusa was, STOP MAKING DEAN THIS DUMB WHEN IT’S NOT REALISTIC.

Giulia: How caffeine is working

Nat: Because why else should the writers write this episode

Nat: Definitely...anything you want. Get on your knee. lol

Giulia: ...ooooh i can smell all the meta from here

Nat: They all gay for dick

Well Nat I guess….I mean... ...well that’s...that’s the goal

Giulia: U would all be gay for them

Nat: you not wrong

Giulia: MMMMMM

Nat: UHHHH FBI FBI

Zee: Fucking hell

Giulia: FBI FBI FBI

Nat&Giula: IS THIS AMUSING TO YOU?

Now turned on and scared Guy : No SIR

Cas: 

yeah that’s right call me Sir

Nat: Psycho penpal

Y’all my psycho text pals tho

Nat: you're not his type

Giulia: BITCH IM EVERYBODY’s TYPE

R:For the record, I don't love being included on his little hit list.

S: Apparently he can’t see angels

J: I’m not an angel

D: Close enough

C: So, if Jack and I approach Noah on our own, we -- we may surprise him.

Giulia: ABORT I DON T LIKE THAT PLAN

Zee: Happily surprised moose

Giulia: i’d get sloppy....( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Zee: I’m here for Sam’s short shirt

I’m here for them short of clothes 

R: I HAVE A PLAN

Giulia: WEE DOGGIE

Nat: OMG

Giulia: IS THAT JACK

Nat: THAT DOG IS SO SMALL IN SAM'S ARM

S: We -- We think he might have eaten something.

R: "We think"? "We think"? He means that it's my fault for not keeping an eye on the poor dear. He thinks that everything is my fault.

S: Can we not fight in front of the vet?

S: I mean, I guess it's not entirely your fault that you looked away!

R: He blames me for everything! I let his mother ride the Jet Ski one time!

WHAT IS THIS? AM I DEAD AND IN FANFIC TROPES PARADISE?

Nat: Wee Jackie Boy

Giulia: I CAN T

Zee: Sam got a dog and it’s his “son”

S: What are you doing?

R: Oh, I mean, I realize it's not...[Deep voice ]...pretending to be the FBI. [Normal voice] But there are other ways of doing things, Samuel. Plus...I thought my performance was quite magnificent.

Giulia: I NEED THOSE TWO TO FUCK 

Zee: The thermometer

Giulia: i bet he liked being a dog 

Giulia: *seeing just now Zee’s thermometer text*  THIS IS HORRIBLE TIMING

Nat: Did Jack just get something in his ass for this

Nat: YES

Zee: SO YES

J: Just wish I could've got it before she took my temperature.

Giulia: ...he took one for the team.

R: Oh, uh, a moment, Samuel. What did you do to that boy?

R: It's volatile magic, powerful, and it's stitched to him like some kind of parasite.I was curious before, but now I am worried, so I'll ask you again, Sam What did you do?

I can’t believe Rowena is lecturing Sam, and being right too

R: using dangerous, mysterious magic, regardless of the cost, that's a very on-brand me thing to do.

Nat: She's still so much shorter than him standing on the curb

Zee: Everyone is shorter than him

R: Of course, Samuel. Until very recently, I was the villain.

So I ordered this SamWitch extra spicy I guess.

Giulia: I REALLY NEED THOSE TWO TO GET IT OUT OF THEIR SYSTEM

Meanwhile scarred Jack :

Nat: That guy is creepy

Giulia: He’s so flamboyant loves every minute of it

Zee: That gorgon is a total bitch

Noah: "Helpless men" -- that's rich. No, I do eat ladies, too, but women have become so cautious lately. Must be all that finally waking up from centuries of misogynistic oppression. Good for them. Bad for you.

Nat: Ok but I like that

D: But if we cut off their head, then is more creatures gonna crawl out?

Ok but ...hey...legit question

....sam...

SAM

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

knock first , kick doors later

Zee: Enter the angel of the lord

Noah a bit turned on and scared

Nat: does he do anything else

Nat: NO fair

Noah : demi-god actually

Zee: I’m a lover not a fighter

Nat: THEN LOVE HIM

Giulia: I DON'T LIKE THIS STORY

Nat: Slapping

Zee: Oh he didn’t

Nat: NO cas

#mood  #same

Nat: wHAT

Giulia: NO , WHAT

Zee: Real pleasure

Giulia: OH SAMMY IS HANGRY

Zee: Why is he kicking their asses?

Giulia: Stop making him bump his head

Nat: MICHAEL CAN GET OUT

Zee: Fuck yeah

Giulia: YAS JACK BABY

Zee: My baby is hurt

Giulia: ALL MY BABIES ARE HURT

Zee: Swallow Cas

Zee dON’T BE NASTY

Giulia: OH CAS KNOWS

Nat: I can't even see

this is painful 

Zee: Look how precious jack is

Nat: Dean's still too tall for the bed

Giulia: IM ANXIOUS . CAS IS ANGRY

Nat: POOR JACK THO?

Sam asking Rowena what to do is making me weak.

JESUS

Giulia: GOD DAMN IT. I CHOKED . that was scary

Nat: that's what she said

Nat: Cas wants to make up for it

Giulia: THERE ARE TOO MANY THINGS HAPPENING

[VIDEO] because I’m a sucker for these moments and you need to appreciate them more.

Giulia: We do too Jack

Zee: Special humans

Nat: sometimes we forget that too

Zee: Humans burn bright

Giulia: They are still human

Giulia: For a very brief time

Zee: He have to carry on

Nat: WE WILL NOT CARRY ON

Giulia: DAMN CAS

Nat: wHAT'S THE POINT

Nat: Jack has it right

Giulia: JACK IS RIGHT

Zee: It will hurt

Nat: Stop talking like that CAs

This scene is one of the best one , I can’t 

Nat: CASSSSSSSSS

Zee: Can Cas shut up already?

Giulia: IM CRYING

Giulia: MY GOD CAS

Nat: Jack calm yo tits

Giulia: JACK STOP SPIRALLING

Giulia: He s keeping the snake . LUCIFER SON IS KEEPING THE SNAKE. I DON T LIKE IT

OH....SOMEONE IS AWAKE

Nat: NO . WHAT STOP

Giulia: what is th

Zee: He woke up alright

 I KNOW WHERE I AM

Giulia: The screaming

Zee: He out

Nat: He's gone?

Giulia: OH NO. I DON T TRUST IT

Nat: NO

Giulia: DEAN DON’T PANIC

Giulia: OH SHIT

Nat: WHAT IS GOING ON

Giulia: OH FUCK

Nat: WELP MAGGIE IS GONE

Giulia: FUCK

Nat: WHAT THE FUCK

Giulia: DEAN BREATHE

Zee: Shut the fuck up

Nat: SHIT

Giulia: OH SHIT

Nat: DO YOU STILL WANT THEM TO BONE?

Nat: Michael!Rowena x Sam

Giulia: NOT NOW NAT!

Nat: SHUT UP NAT

Giulia: SHUT UP NAT .i can t watch this

Nat: Always taunting him. "come on sam, you can go harder than that, boy" .OH GOD SHUT UP NAT

Nat: FUCK YOU MICHAEL I HATE HIM SO MUCH

Zee: I fucking love him

M: It didn’t work out. It was him, not me.

Michael making promises.....DOESN’T WORK.

R: I’ll live either way

Zee: Sam is gonna off me

R: ..which makes dinner a little awkard

Giulia: GUYS I CAN T WATCH THIS

Nat: Fuck this

Nat: I'M HURT

Giulia: IM HURTING

Nat: how can americans watch it with commercial breaks?

M: Burning off your soul? You'll run out soon enough.

Giulia: i have no idea what to do

Giulia: How dare u

M: I am the commander of the host!   I am the cleanser of worlds!  I will not be challenged by a child!

You are a drama queen , that’s what you are

Nat: Of course

J: I'm not a child! I'm the son of Lucifer. I'm a Hunter. I am a Winchester!

Giulia: JACK

Zee&Nat: I am a Winchester

Nat: OH did he just swallowed Michael's grace

nat doN’T BE NASTY

Giulia: JACK IS GOING IN THAT BOX JACK IS SO GOING IN THAT BOX

J: Michael is dead

I don’t trust it

Nat: OH WINGS

Nat: I'm confused

Giulia: I DON T LIKE THIS

[after credits comments]

Giulia: PROMO. NOW

Giulia: AHAHAHA

Zee: What??!!

Giulia: NEXT EP IS GONNA BE FUN

Nat: I'm confused

Nat: Someone hold me

Zee: There there pats your back

Giulia: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT EP. IT JUST HURT ALL THE TIME .i’m sweating

Nat: I have no idea and I didn't like it

Zee: Hello. Are you new to SPN ?

Nat: What Michael is dead? Are we supposed to believe that?

Zee: No

Giulia: Jack worries me tho. And ya know the last ep of the season is called “Jack in the box”

Zee: Don’t go there

Giulia: How I cannot

Zee: Don’t know. Just don’t

Giulia: FUCK EVERYTHING THAT WAS A ROLLERCOASTER AND IM STILL ON IT

Zee: You’ll never get off

Giulia: That what he said

Zee: Stop it

Giulia: Fuck u all

And fuck spn

And dean

And sam

And cas

And fucking jack

I can t

*throw tables out the window*

.

.

.

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie     @mariekoukie6661     @dragontamerm      @closetspngirl   @rainflowermoon    @mattiecat      @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee2   @jacks-word-of-the-day    @4evamc      @dammitsammy    @legendary-destiel  @winchesterprincessbride   @destielhoneybee   @castiellover20  @jacks-word-of-the-day @ravenhg @evvvissticante 

[fmddevin]

woosh !! so i was trying to keep my ooc identity a surprise until now, but apparently i was stupid and y’all found out before i could get this up so...yay!! anyways, i’ll try to keep this short and simple! i’m jada, and this is my second baby, and the last for a while - mr. daein “devin” kim! he’s 23, the lead vocal & lead dancer of impulse, and an overall mess. he’s got a lot to work out, but i’m excited to see what i can do with him and how he grows & develop! he’s a little more on the chaotic side than micha is, but don’t let it scare you off! i swear i’ve got a plot page coming really soon, like tomorrow, but in the meantime - here’s his profile & bio! i’m more than happy to plot with you, though, so like this for me to hop in your ims!! trivia & some hawaii event ideas / general plot ideas under the cut.~

ok let’s get this started!! i promise to try to make this short & sweet as possible (but you know i’m jada so-). but before i wrote daein’s profile i made like a....3 page bullet summary of what i wanted him to be, so i’m going to be inputting some of those here!! so if it sounds a bit rambly...you know why!

if you’re just here for the event thread ideas, scroll down towards the end, where hawaii event ideas is in bold! <3

born on march 24th, 1996!

parents koreans from seoul, korea. met through a study abroad program @ their college, fell in love with each other and the us! had baby daein, who got plopped in the middle of tampa, florida!

his whooooole childhood felt like he was living in isolation. being one f the only asian-american kids on the block, he definitely felt like an outsider. when he’d bring kimbap, kimchi, or tteokbokki for lunch, they’d always look at him all confused like?? what is that

it made him sad bc he always had felt like his different was a good thing, and he’d been raised to be proud of his culture, but apparently not??

as a sidenote kid misheard his name in middle school and was like “devin?” and he was like “sure that’s it” and started going by that outside of home ever since bc it made him feel more american 

just throughout his whole childhood he was ridiculed for being different, which was really the start of his obsession with other’s satisfaction and being like everyone else!

so he took matters into his own hands, but in the worst way possible. during this time, he went against everything his parents had taught him and essentially rejected his korean culture. he stopped bothering to learn the tidbits of korean they were trying to teach him, never brought up his culture, and kind of distanced himself from his parents. he always was trying to bring up some excuse for why they couldn’t come to events because he was always embarrassed about their english and how different they all looked compared to everybody else. just...not a good time and his parents were very upset w/him

anyways onto happy times!! middle school was when he discovered his passion for dance, hip hop in particular. he would always be so amazed by the dancers at the boardwalk performing and decided that’s what he wanted to do!!

sOooOo he originally started off as being self-taught through videos on youtube, but eventually his parents agreed to let him dance if he a.) promised it wouldn’t mess up his grades and b.) he paid for them his own

and he did!! it was Hard but he made sure his grades were in check & picked up a part-time job at the ice cream parlor near his house to get money. it was minimum wage and he had to wear a cheesy apron with this ice cream cone hat but anyways

he could only afford one lesson a week at the community dance center, but it taught him a lot!!! where he discovered his true passion for dance, and tbh spent more time there than anywhere else

eventually!! he joined a florida dance crew and that’s when his skills really blossomed and people started taking him seriously, basically was there until the beginning of high school

tw: drug and alcohol addiction!

and then high school is when it...all came crashing down. being such a people pleaser, he fell victim to peer pressure. he was scared of being looked down again, because by now he’d formed a name for himself and was pretty popular. so, to continue blending in, started getting heavily into drinking and drugs and just...not good, because he grew really dependent on it and started losing his enthusiasm for everything else. it’s something he continues to struggle with a lot, although it’s mostly drinking nowadays and the only drug he’s involved with on a regular basis is weed?? but he has relapsed and that’s a major reason he needs people around him to keep him stable!!

also the dance team wouldn’t let him back in bc he failed the drug test and his drug spiral just got worse because he had nothing else to focus his energy on.

it was the only thing that really made him feel something other than dance, and now that he was spending all of his money on it he couldn’t even do that.

tw: drug and alcohol addiction - end!

he partially discovered his love for singing after the months he had to go w/o dancing. he really started to enjoy it but only in private because he was Embarrased of what others would think so

his parents were tired of his bs because he was a junior now and they were basically like we’re tired of the people we hang around and you need to be around family, so for spring break they sent him to seoul!!

boy was hEated alr. like i said, wasn’t a fan of his culture, he had to leave his friends who were all going on fun trips, & he knew NOTHING - not the language, the people, anything.

but when he got there??? kind of actually enjoyed it. he got to meet family he’d never met before, picked up a little of the language, all of that. but hongdae??? - that’s what made him really excited.

he never thought of korea to be a very exciting place, until he went there. there were so many other talented dancers and he felt so at home, but unlike in florida, they looked like him!

so this is where it gets a little funny lmao. his family refused to fund his habits but he wanted to go to a club while he was there to have fun and impress girl??? so basically, he went to hongdae, and tried  busking for some extra cash. and he LOVED IT!! for a reference he freestyled to turn up the music by chris brown lol

and it was real fun!! he genuinely had a really good time - but right before he left some random ass man left him a little slip, and he was like ??? and then he asked him his name, and daein barely understood what he said and in english was like “hey i’m devin??” and when the man realized he was like yes!! and daein was like no??? but took the slip anyways and turns out it was an invitation to a gold star audition!!

the second daein read it said kpop he essentially was like “lmao no” and just threw it in his bag. so he went home, and kind of forgot about it all, until a few months after he got home. things weren’t really looking up for him and he really wanted to continue his dance career, he just didn’t know how. he didn’t get accepted to the college he wanted to because of that time his grades had plummeted, and it was hard to land a stable dance job. & his parents were like look if you don’t make this dance thing happen we’re going to throw you into a business job with a suit and tie u need money

and daein!! hates!! corporate!! so he was like hell no and decided to give this idol thing one last chance

so - he submitted a video audition to gold star, and low and behold!! he made it!!

even though this was his saving grace, he really didn’t know what to do about it. because i mean he loved tampa, and he didn’t want to leave?? but when his parents heard the opportunity they were ELATED because they knew dance was the only thing that really put his focus on good things & they wanted him to be in korea with his family and all that. so!! they were like DO IT. and he really had no other choice so he was like uhhhh i guess

flash forward to the end of may!! right after the end of his junior year of school in tampa, he moved to korea to start training. since he had a pretty good experience during spring break of the year before, he expected his life to be better than he’d expected!! but...it was really hard. since he had to live there, and he was only 16, he felt really lost w/o his parents, and his only real family there were his grandparents and cousins he barely every said hi to so that sucked

tw: depression and light substance abuse!

around this time was when he developed signs of depression, just as he started training. because it was when he really discovered that he couldn’t please everybody, something that he’d strived to do his whole life. 

he lacked a support system & didn’t have anyone really close to him to make the transition better, since his parents were back in florida and he could barely hold a conversation with his family in korea. this is a big reason he remained dependent on drinking especially, because it got him out of his funk and to temporarily forget about all that was going on.

because of it, daein started getting less sleep, eating less, and all that. gold star noticed it really soon and got him in touch with a psychiatrist, which, eventually diagnosed him with depression. but it’s not something he goes around telling everyone, he has some evident signs but he probably wouldn’t openly tell more than a couple really close & trusted friends. but gold star has been monitoring his mental health to make sure he’s okay mentally. he takes medication but?? it doesn’t do him much good but they’re always hounding him about it so 

like i said though, he’s a very independent person so he doesn’t like to feel like he’s a burden, which is why he doesn’t want others to know because he feels like they’re gonna pity him!!

tw: depression and light substance abuse! - end

bc of his more tan skin (back in the day from florida, not really anymore) and broken korean, he felt like a foreigner, but also people would mistake him for having korean nationality whenever they would talk to him. so he felt like he couldn’t really fit either mold, because he was out of place in korea and florida. but!! i digress

he felt like he was kind of thrust into who’s next: origin story because by the time it started he had only been a trainee for...4 months?? like it’s crazy & he clearly wasn’t ready, a major reason for him being on the losing end, but he had the loveable foreigner thing going on so he did get a good fanbase!! even though he was criticized for his short training period

i doubt he was a favorite among the trainees because he’s REEEEEALLY introverted,,, especially in social situations where he’s not the most comfortable with people in so i don’t think he was super talkative.

 a big reason he has trouble on variety shows now!! it’s not that he doesn’t like but they’ve kind of turned it into a “mysterious” thing, which is fine to him if it mean he doesn’t have to talk as much

also he hated it because he constantly had to dodge staff & other trainees whenever he wanted to drink or smoke so he was probably always trying to find a way to sneak out when they had any kind of free time

he got a lotlotlot better at singing during training though, though they’re kind of forcing an unnatural tone for his voice which is making him strain and can’t be good for him in the long run but marketing!! so. anyways he loves singing a lot more than he did before, he’d always expected to be just a dancer but they unleashed his potential so!! that’s one thing he really enjoyed about training

basically he’s been marketed as the “sexy foreigner” and he kinda hates it ngl. because while he never was attached to his korean identity, the more he’s been here the more he’s just wanted to be the same as everybody else?? so that’s not helping with anything. he’s always kind of laughed at for being clueless when a joke flies over his head, made to say things in english ALL THE TIME, just all that. it really gets on his nerves bc nowadays he just wants to blend in and they’re not making it any better!!!

it may sound confusing but basically: as a teen he rejected his korean identity to blend in with everyone in florida, now he’s in korea and wants to be known as less of an american to blend it. it all comes down to him wanting to be like everyone else is nearly every aspect!! 

since he feels like he cheated & got to debut way too easy than some others, he’s been trying to develop his creative and performance skills so he can get more credit and make a name for himself due to his actual abilities rather than just,, him being american lmao!! also trying super super hard to get as good as he can at korean

tw: drug and alcohol addiction!

he still has some trouble getting around & he still feels lost, but he’s trying his best. struggling through his alcohol addiction, which bc is mildly aware about but really trying to keep quiet and he’s been on the verge of leaving more than a few times. but as quiet as he is about it, he really relies on his members a lot to keep himself afloat!! so he appreciates them putting through his shit a lot of the time more than he'll admit.

 tw: drug and alcohol addiction! - end

but rn he’s getting better, slightly, focusing more of his energy into music than anything. he really wants to get into the songwriting industry to get a name for himself on his own instead of just being known for impulse!!

just  as a fyi since it’s a bit confusing his birth name is daein, he went by devin when he lived in america, but he goes by daein again now that he’s in korea, but his stage name is still devin and that’s what his friends from america call him. he prefers to be called daein nowadays, though, so that’s probably the safest best!

also this has not been short at all but anyways

hawaii plots!

he likes to drink & get high way too much and what better place than to do that then on vacation?? he’s been trying to stop, but look, it’s vacation and he’s unwinding and if your muse is down they can both have fun!!

such. an. introvert. even more than micha, because 80% of his interactions by choice come from his group?? but i would love to get him some new friends (especially since he literally has none right now lol)

he’s a bit of a hoe ngl so!! hookups are accepted, that’s the one time he’s not afraid of striking up conversation!!

he’s in the red team so like micha, if you’re members in the red team he could use some buddies to be with!!

someone to explore the island with during the night!

general plots!

he lives in an apartment my himself atm, but a roommate would be lovely!! he needs someone to put him out of his funk, anyways. 

drinking buddies ofc

trainee friends? someone who wasn’t put off by him being super quiet and befriended it and he’s super grateful nowadays? 

give me all the angst & romance because he’s a handful, seriously, phew

besties!! someone that makes him soft and happy bc there are few people who make him super happy & excited, so someone fill in the gap!

[janiedean]

Why do you think the SW fandom is so knee-deep in SJ Calvinism? Because I understand wanting representation or being upset because a movie didn’t fulfill your expectations, but the “if you don’t ship X you’re racist” “if you don’t stan Y you’re bigoted” and the harassment over a disappointing movie is surprising just because of how pervasive it is. I was trying to find some St*rmpilot blogs to follow and the amount of hate is Yikes, especially the hate for Rose and the stans of a Certain Ship

eeeeeeh I think it’s because ep. 7 came out at the height of the... well, reaping the seeds the social justice calvinism had sown since 2014 so to speak? I mean, SW is hardly the one fandom where it happened (*cough* voltron and SU *cough*) but as SW is way broader in audience than those other shows that certainly didn’t help, but like, if you think on it, since 2013-ish (but I think before as well, I mean, I’ve been here since 2011 and already when I got here I felt like something was going very wrong when it came to politics-in-fandom-attitude), basically people on tumblr have progressively, when it came to fandoms:

pushed the idea that you have to over-analyze everything you consume through political lens;

pushed the idea that what you like and how you like it also has to be pushed through political lens and what you like says things about who you are as a person or your political leanings;

pushed the idea that if you care for something *problematic* just because you like it you’re excusing it;

pushed the idea that if you were problematic once you can’t ever not be problematic, you can’t change your mind and you can’t learn also because ‘it’s not my job to educate you’ so people either learn themselves or idek what but again, calvinism.

now obviously those politics are tumblr-politics which are also US centric like woah and are also high-school petty like woah, and since more or less then people have:

continuously other-ed lgbt people from *straight*/heterosexual people pushing a narrative where straight = bad and therefore putting it before anything automatically makes it a valid insult which added to the above means that if you ship het you’re already problematic regardless of whether you’re straight or not (and if you are.. lol);

pushed the performative feminism of Doom TM that says men and women should be equal but is like, an excuse to shit on men and on women who like men (see the rampant biphobia around and the whole ‘straight girls are so stupid if they’re into men they should try women’ discourse);

pushed the US terminology when it comes to the POC discourse, in the sense that everything works on the US-centered context where white people = white anglosaxon protestant, poc = everything else without realizing that in the rest of the world white does not equal wasp, that poc = black people only in most of europe (and no one who’s actually black or not white who lives in africa or asia and so on would describe themselves as poc because why the hell would you when your skin color/ethinicity is the norm where you live?), which also goes with the whole white passing debate which where I live would not exist but in that context is a mess because again, oscar i*saac is schroedinger’s poc (as in, he’s poc automatically for american standards because he’s latin-american but like he has the same skin tone as my mother and my mother in italy is white same as 90% of us, which means endless confusion) and assumed that all of us have to accept that terminology/context regardless of whether it’s valid in our countries;

kept on progressively putting minorities against each other in an endless loop of WHO HAS IT WORST/oppression olympics;

kept on progressively split hairs on issues that aren’t exactly, like, that important if there’s more urgent stuff to deal with because 90% of the activism here is performative;

made the 180° turn for which headcanons and shit are seen as, like, doing representation instead of, you know, supporting what rep is there never mind when people decide *one* ship is the right one and if another is canonized and it’s rep it gets thoroughly ignored;

pushed on a mindset for which if something isn’t perfect at the get-go then it’s canceled.

and so on.

like, all of that shit has been continuously not criticized because criticizing it especially if you don’t belong to a minority means that you’re out of line/discussing things that don’t concern you, but if you’re a minority and you criticize it then it’s suddenly YOU BETRAYED OUR CAUSE *INSERT SLUR HERE ABOUT PANDERING TO THE MAJORITY*, and the result exploded in toxic af fandoms, but like... if you look at the issues of the SW sequel trilogy fandom it’s all of that in a nutshell because:

k/ylo ren is automatically the worst because he’s white (horrible), a man (even worse), not canonically attractive (I didn’t touch on that topic bc I’m honestly not up for it mentally but lmao that counts too) and presumably heterosexual (or well, no one said he’s not but you know, since he’s a white dude on the bad side [supposedly] then we don’t give him the benefit of the doubt that he might be bi), so if you like ky/lo ren or relate to him you’re automatically problematic;

shipping re/ylo because automatically problematic because it’s a *straight* (evil) ship made of two white people (when there’s options to ship them both with people that aren’t white, so IT’S RACIST), they have an age gap (BAD BECAUSE POWER IMBALANCE) and it’s enemies to lovers, so it’s a context where people who don’t conceive redemption or that people can become better are basically crying problematic all the time, and the fact that people decided it’s *abusive* when it has like nothing that can equate it to a really abusive relationship says all;

ky/lux being the most popular slash ship immediately means that it’s the fault of the horrible straight (white) women fetishizing the (white) men on the dark side (when it’s most likely because for a while ky/lux was literally the only side of that fandom where people were chill/there wasn’t wank every other moment);

st/ormpilot has been declared The Right Ship because it’s two non-white men and it’s not straight which automatically turns into what I said before about hating other ships that would be rep anyway and feeds into the lowkey oppression olympics racism, because like if finn/rose becomes canon it’s still a mixed/biracial ship because he’s black and she’s asian....... except that it’s not the right ship for people who decided that finn has to be either with rey or poe (and guess what rey is white and poe is... schroedinger’s poc because oscar isaac in europe wouldn’t pass for *poc*), which to me has stank of lowkey racism since tlj came out because sorry but if ‘finn deserves better than rose’ or ‘finn should be with rey because if he doesn’t get rey then it’s unfair’ and the various other bullshit I read on the topic basically says that the white woman is *worthier* than the asian woman or that rose is a downgrade from rey which is fucking bullshit, rose isn’t even a bad character all the contrary. and that’s for the het side of it, but like then it’s not as good as stormpilot because it’s a straight ship (NOOOO THEY MADE FINN STRAIGHT/THEY’RE NOT MAKING THEM GAY THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT = stuff I legit saw on the tag) and ngl I’m 100% sure that the fact that daisy is Standard Attractive and kelly marie t/ran is lovely but doesn't conform to the usual beauty standard western-viewers apply on asian women did play a role in there, but: what did I say before? the slash ship is automatically better than the het ship never mind that they’re both biracial and rose is actually a rep (asian girls who don’t adhere to stereotypical body shapes - and like, the rep for all body types and shapes should be valid for all women, not just white) that isn’t exactly popular especially in mainstream cinema, so people should be happy.... but since rose is Not A Dude and Not Rey and Not The Right Kind Of Representation For That Crowd, automatically rose is a shit character and deserves to be viciously hated on. and this is a thing done by people who most likely then turn on the other side and talk shit about horrible straight women who hate the only female character for getting in the way of their slash ship without realizing that their rose hate is exactly that. and of course since sto/rmpilot is the two good guys, if you ship that then you also have to hate re/ylo because how can you, a person who ships The Good Ship On The Light Side, support such a problematic enemies to lovers thing? yeah, right, hahaha.

this also tbqh also pairs up with how on tumblr people only recognize mental health issues/abuse victims when the narrative suits them - like, being a bad victim automatically means you lose sympathy and mental health issues are only valid if you aren’t ***privileged*** otherwise why would you have them, which shows transparently in how a lot of people absolutely deny that ky/lo ren is a) an abuse victim, b) obviously mentally ill however it is that he deals with it, but no, he has to be The Most Horrible In Existence Because Otherwise We Should Have Empathy For A Bad Guy Who Also Might Get Redeemed And Redemption Is Not Happening Ever Because Bad People Don’t Deserve it.

like, all of the issues sw sequel trilogy has when it comes to the fandom are direct consequences of the nonsensical social justice calvinism climate on tumblr dot com that no one took care to put a stop to since 2013 and of its ridiculous oppression olympics and pitting people against each other and that was my take. cheers.

(ps: I also ship sto/rmpilot like woah and it’s my otp but there’s a reason why I unfollowed most SP blogs I followed and why I don’t go into the tag anymore - I’m not here for the anti-rose racism dressed up as performative wokeness, I’m not here to get lectured about as a white person I fetishize poc gay men if I ship it - yes I read that too - and I’m not here to read a bunch of meta about how re/ylo is a bad ship and blah blah blah, so yeah. I feel you.) (pps: ky/lo ren isn’t even my favorite character and I care relatively but gdi the way the fandom approaches him is honestly mindboggling in that sense, and I don’t mean people who actually dislike him because fair reasons, I mean people who can’t recognize his abuse victim status and the precarious status of his mental health. like, not all abuse victims and mentally ill people are the right victim or come from the right background and you can be cool motive still murder and still recognize that he’s like that because he has issues, not because he was drawn that way. /bye)

[aw-tryagain]

Wow

People really don’t like hearing the truth about what they do and it shows. How can y’all misinterpret what I was saying THAT badly??

Like this was just my final straw I am done with the fandom. Y’all are all so damn ignorant and petty. Y’all will literally hate on someone for doing what you do! How does that make sense?! I’m just tired of y’all and have been for such a long time now and have been less and less involved in this fandom as time went on because I too began to notice things about how yall act and treat each other and yes y’all really are all so fake and after this whole shit show I just can’t do it anymore. Lol like I knew twilight was shitty but there were still a lot of things I loved about the series and I saw so much potential in it and I recognized the shitty parts and also tried to change them to make it better and that’s what a lot of people or pretty much everyone does in this fandom, but y’all just don’t recognize the shitty parts. Y’all try to excuse it. Especially when it comes to the main characters. Y’all will literally jump through hoops to excuse or just flat out ignore Alices racism and how she treats Bella. Y’all will excuse/flat out ignore Edwards fucked up abusive actions towards Bella yet will turn around and vilify Jacob for kissing her without her permission and guilt tripping/manipulating her too. Yall vehemently hate the shit out of Jacob (and are sometimes really racist about it) and will make posts/headcnons/au’s of the cullens beating him up a native brown boy for basically doing to Bella what they literally do to her through the entire series, take away her bodily autonomy and choices and manipulate her. Yall make posts about old white racist people literally beating up a 16 year old Native American boy and jack off to that shit and be racist all while y’alls precious whites can do anything they want to Bella because nothing the Cullens ever do is wrong. Y’all are literally playing right into the hands of that racist author SM and what she wanted and what she pushed so hard in the series you’d have to be blind not to see.. and you don’t see it.

Y’all still perpetuate the bs Meyer pushed and are all so ignorant because Jacob wasn’t like that at first and was never supposed to be like that. Meyer ruins every character she touches ESPECIALLY when it comes to poc but instead of looking at that y’all would rather act like assholes and treat people who like these characters and want to remake them in their own image like shit. Yet you all want people to stop calling you racist for loving and excusing Jaspers time in the confederacy and let you all redeem him and his actions. There was a whole fandom fight about this exact thing when someone called out the racist shit these people were doing regarding Jacob and the Cullens and guess what y’all did? Y’all tried to not only defend what y’all were doing but also tried to defend the fact that Jasper was a literal confederate soldier. Like, Jasper was one of my favorite characters but that doesn’t excuse what he was. You people are the most hypocritical people I’ve ever met. Y’all can make excuses for Jasper being a confederate and say “oh well he learned from that! He’s not a racist!” and y’all can make headcanons trying to redeem him but don’t seem to wanna redeem him from the problematic things he does in the series to this day which y’all seem to always leave out and forget. Y’all can say “oh Meyers and idiot! She didn’t know what she was doing! Jasper should have been a union soldier!” and all types of shit but nobody can do the same for Jacob who was actually fucked over by Meyer and made to do problematic things not only because he was the rival but also because Meyer loves making poc the villains all the time? How can y’all not see that?

Y’all make excuses up the wall for the precious Cullens fucked up actions and will gladly blame the author and not the character for it and will attack anyone who thinks otherwise but when it comes to anyone else? especially poc? It’s time to hate them and treat them and anyone who likes them and tries to actually redeem them from their racist biased author, like shit. It’s funny how we’re supposed to love the confederate soldier who willingly fought for slavery and quickly rose through the ranks in the army and seems proud of that fact when recalling it in Eclipse and he’s just so smart and practical and calculative and is such a great leader and thinks things through and is able to convince others easily and get them to follow him because he’s so charming but we’re also supposed to feel bad for him and hate the Mexican woman who “manipulated” him and lied to him and of course she’s painted as some kind of evil seductress who manipulates the poor defenseless mindless white man that we all must coddle. I italicized those words bc that is supposed to be his characterization. People who are calculative and smart and good leaders aren’t so easily manipulated and aren’t so easily trusting, and don’t fall for one obvious lie for 100 years! Idc what anyone says nobody can keep up a simple ass lie for that long especially when with just a little more thought put into it, the lie can be debunked so easily bc the truth is right there. Also in the end he had the power. He could do what he wanted with his own body and he chose to do what he did. We’re not gonna blame the woman for the actions of the man. Yes she had a part in it and influencing it but there is no way he couldn’t have felt the deception and do nothing about it or at least feel some type of way about it. If he’s so strong and powerful and dangerous and controlled all those newborns and is so much stronger and better than María why didn’t he stage an uprising or something? Don’t give me that “he didn’t know what he was doing” excuse. It’s the same tired ass excuse y’all use for him being apart of the confederation and it makes no sense. He was able to think for himself (and apparently has a strong smart vampire brain) and do for himself and literally had power over himself and others. This is literally me saying that the shit doesn’t add up from what we know from canon. It doesn’t make sense and I’m calling out the plot holes and why it doesn’t make any sense and why it should be taken with a grain of salt. Because it’s bullshit.

This is NOT me saying “men can’t be abused” or some other shit y’all want to put into my mouth. Like you guys do all the time. But of course he didn’t actively choose to make any of those decisions and act upon it on his own, no it’s all the woman (Maria’s) fault for every single thing he did. He was completely mindless and stupid and didn’t stop to think about anything once. I am in NO way saying that María wasn’t wrong for the lie that she told him or the manipulation or whatever it’s definitely wrong but it’s also unfair that she is the only being hated for it when the main characters do the same shit?! Yet everyone ignores it because it’s not abuse when they lie and manipulate. It’s unfair that people who like her and see the error in the way she was created and want to change that or whatever and ship her with Jasper get hate for it yet you guys can do the exact same thing with your faves and their issues? THATS WHAT IM CALLING OUT! I’m not mad bc y’all “don’t ship abuse” I’m mad because you’re all hypocrites and you all fail to see it. It’s said that she did lie and manipulation and it’s “implied” as abuse and people take that little bit of info and run with it (like they do a lot) and make it out like María is the worst person ever to walk the earth and was lying to him constantly about every little thing ever and was sexually abusing him and was physically beating him even tho NONE of this is EVER stated in canon. Y’all vilify the shit out of her (the hate gets so bad I’ve seen people literally act like she’s dirty and impure and beneath compared to the special white savior and all bc she’s the manipulative colored rival and that’s ANOTHER place where the racist undertones come to play.) bc Meyer painted them as this turbulent problematic relationship with the bad colored promiscuous sexually deviant woman and then Jasper finds a pure white woman and they have the bestest, healthiest relationship ever. They don’t tho. Alice lies to him too. Alice lies to him a lot in the saga and actively keeps things from him. Alice talks down to him and teams up with Edward and is on his side all the time to treat him like a child and basically act like he’ll never be as good as them when it comes to bloodlust (Edward legit says this shit about him but yeah this family is sooo loving and they believe in him soo much blow me.) She kicks him and stomps on his foot when he has thoughts or does something that isn’t ~Cullen like~ and that’s okay? That’s supportive? Jasper himself manipulates her emotions without her permission and tells her to not worry about important people that are supposed to be “family” and manhandles her when she had that vision and this is supposed to be so much better? This is supposed to be one of the best relationships in the saga because ~mates~ and tru wuv?! Their whole courtship and mating doesn’t even make a lick of sense why would he go into a diner? full of people? Especially if he was hungry?! That doesn’t make sense! How could she have possibly had a vision of him? and then automatically assumed she was supposed to be his ~mate~ that makes even less sense, and they’re incompatible and are pretty scummy to each other but it’s disguised as pure mated mystical love, by Meyer.

We’re supposed to like it and it’s supposed to be great but it’s not and I don’t because I see holes and I’m not falling for Meyers bullshit excuses to cover her own ass; we know Meyer has a problem with showing vs. telling but we also know she has a problem with making things that are supposed to be good look terrible. but his relationship with the big bad Mexican is the one that’s completely wrong and supposed to be feared? He has more in common with said Mexican woman and pretty much acts just like her! He went along with her and what she wanted and didn’t stop and think about what the fuck he was doing and he’s known to do this in canon because he literally said that he did the same thing with Alice. He was made to feel powerful and capable even if what he was doing wasn’t morally sound. Also omg over time they eventually began to have some real feelings for each other from their little relationship they had on the side or whatever and to this day they’re still friends with each other and Jasper thinks about her from time to time and wishes her well. They actually GREW to be friends and actually had some kind of development and progress in their relationship. Their okay with each other now even with their turbulent past and Jasper doesn’t hate her. Like at all and you mean to tell me that’s bad? It’s just horribly abusive and people have no right to ship it or even like it and/or indulge in it because they may see some potential with what Meyer did with them and want to build on that and improve it??? We ALL know Meyer creates a lot of things, characters, plot points with soo much potential but always ruins it and people in fandom see that and want to change it and love it and bring out that potential but when it comes to certain characters and ships (mainly involving poc) that’s off limits? Yet y’all do the same thing with yalls boring ass white canon characters and ships or just ignore the ships/characters issues in general??? But feel like y’all got the right to play god and be all high and mighty and holier than thou and viciously attack people for doing what y’all want to do??

Now That’s a fucking joke.

Not only is it a joke it’s also unfair. Who tf are y’all to dictate what someone can and can’t like/indulge in??? and I love how everyone wants to claim “oh I don’t ship Edward/Bella Jasper/Alice etc... bullshit! All y’all do is talk about them and make headcanons and au’s and shit that’s what this fandom mostly consists of, quit fucking backtracking and lying. This doesn’t even begin to explain all things wrong with this hypocritical ass fandom but this rant is more so related to what just happened that was my last straw and made me leave that ignorant ass shitshow of a fandom.

You people read that whole passage that I wrote calling out unfair treatment and fucked up behavior and you STILL just watered it down to “oh they’re just mad because we don’t ship abuse” YES YALL DO! and that’s the problem!!! You guys HATE it when people talk shit about y’all and look down on y’all for liking twilight and tell y’all not to like it bc it’s riddled with abuse and manipulation regarding the main characters and you all come up with your own excuses and reasons (however valid or not they may be) for still liking and indulging in it and trying to fix. Yet you turn around and do the same thing to your own people in the fandom who only ask for/want the same thing y’all ask/want from twi-haters? I was calling out y’all hypocritical actions that is sometimes rooted in racism and how it’s fucked up! I was also calling out how y’all vehemently disrespected, mocked and attacked a real life human person and egged on the op for childishly being a dick to someone for no reason and you all made fun of them for VERY POLITELY requesting something Jasper/Maria related and yet y’all call yourselves nice and accepting? If you didn’t want to do it you could have just kindly told them that you didn’t want to do it. You didn’t have to make a joke moodboard post acting like you’re disgusted (funny how we all must be disgusted with the dirty impure Mexican lol) and the rest of y’all didn’t have to reblog it acting like op was so smart and funny and putting shit in the tags like “why do people ship them lol” “like grow a braincell pls” or “open ur mind” like y’all need to open your minds and realize y’all ain’t shit for that and it WRONG! It was RUDE! Wanna ask “why do people ship them” why do YOU ship shit like Edward/Bella, Jacob/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Victoria/James etc...?? Y’all collectively froth over Victoria and excuse her yet she did. the. exact. same. shit!! Albiet badly, but Come ON! now it’s suddenly okay and excuseable when you throw some white skin on it? Why do YOU even like TWILIGHT if it’s riddled with so much shit?! Racism, sexism, homophobia. If anyone needs to “grow a braincell” it’s y’all. Also yes, let’s attack people and call them dumb and stupid all for what they ship. That’s good. Yet y’all have been attacked your whole lives for liking twilight and can’t seem to make that connection. Once y’all get a little bit of recognition and power y’all wanna act exactly like the people that mistreated y’all to other innocent people that just want to be involved because they think you guys are cool. Y’all are so fucking backwards smh you people suck so fucking hard man.

Fuck the twilight fandom and fuck twilight. Y’all have ruined something I actually used to enjoy by being such nasty hypocritical turds about everything that isn’t white and popular and what you all like. You can’t be different or have different thoughts or unpopular opinions. Though y’all always say that you can, you can’t. The minute you even say anything about the Cullens that yall don’t like or the minute you ship anything that y’all don’t like, or have an opinion on a character or trope that y’all don’t like y’all get to shading and vague posting and mobbing up talking mad shit. You are all so damn fake and I hope and pray y’all get what’s coming to yall for being such nasty disgusting people and yes maybe I did come on a little too strong the first time and should have handled it better and spoken better and been more respectful but after being here for so many years and knowing y’all? That shit wouldn’t have worked. Y’all still would have reacted with viciousness and bullshit and miss the entire point. It’s what y’all constantly do. Look at what y’all do to people who politely ask for something you may not want to do??? If that’s how y’all react to innocent people then imma honestly pray for y’all. I repeat the same energy people give out and I repeated y’all nasty ass energy in my response and if you don’t like it you need to look at yourself and y’all need to stop pointing the fucking finger all the damn time. Grow the fuck up. Also if people really wanna insult me for writing PARAGRAPHS about shit YALL do? Not only is that the dumbest most useless fucking insult I’ve ever seen but it also reflects on y’all because of the simple fact that I have to write paragraphs calling out the shit y’all do and putting it in detail because y’all don’t know how to fucking read and comprehend shit, and YALL STILL MISSED MY POINT!!! That is... just wow. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Imagine being that dumb!

[tcsnextgen]

What would a meeting between London and Vic look like, hypothetically ?

(Warning: It’s a bit rambl-ey and I’m drifting off at some point but that’s only because this is such a cool question and I had to use it at a prompt, lol! :D)

Fun thing is that London and Vic will actually meet, soooo that meeting ain’t even hypthetical. :D

I feel that London will be the driving force when it comes to Rory “breaking up” with Vic. Not because she’s jealous but because she sees things he doesn’t see. Even after some years in the streets, she’s still a woman believing in love and affection after all.

Right at this point, I see Rory and Vic being quite in the “middle” of their thing. One, maybe two weeks into it. They might be in one of the pubs around (read as: one of the few pubs Rory and his crew aren’t banned from yet, lol... and EVERYONE needs a fave pub in my universe), and suddenly there’s this tiny woman, clad in laque and lace, very obviously one of those girls, at their table.

“You look like a man in need of special service!” the lady grins cheekily and now makes herself comfy next to Rory, just like that.

Vic is appalled. Gasping for air a little, she gives her a look that says “Uhm, Lady, excuse us...?”, absolutely ready to kill both of them with looks because Rory just smiles at the intruder now and gives her a kiss to the corner of her mouth, which she returns.

“Where have you been for the past three weeks?” he asks cheerfully but instead of giving him an answer, the lady takes a glance at Vic now.

“Ah, I’d love to tell you but I’m a little scared to speak ‘cause Blondie here apparently wants me dead in a ditch.”

Rory now looks at Vic, suddenly realising how disconcerting the moment must be to her. “Oh. OH. Uhm, you- you can stop lookin’ at her like that, she’s just an old friend-”

“What? I’m far more than that.” his ‘old friend’ interrupts him.

“-and the most annoying person in the world.” Rory concludes with a nod.

“There you go. I am London. And please, please stop looking at me like you want to murder me, he’s all yours, really, I can’t stand him anyway.”

Still a bit irritated but slowly realising that... London apparently didn’t mean any harm, Vic relaxes a bit.

“Can I call you ‘Blondie’?” London now asks quite cheerfully.

The irritation instantly comes back and Vic draws her eyebrows together. “What? No, you can’t!”

“’Barbie’, then?”

“What- no!”

She must be the most annoying person in the world indeed.

“Just tell her yer name or she’ll never shut up.” Rory now yawns and he takes another sip from his beer.

“It’s Vic. My name’s Vic.” Vic lets out a sigh.

“Oh, short for ‘Victoria’?”

“Quite obviously.”

“That’s a beautiful name. Look, Vic, I really didn’t mean to piss you off. I haven’t seen this bugger here for a while but if you want we can do the catching up another time.”

Both her and Rory now look at her, apparently expecting an answer.

Vic really wishes for London to leave but she doesn’t want to appear catty either. As much as she liked him, her and Rory haven’t defined what their thing is about so far and she feels she can’t just send an ‘old friend’ of his away like that.

She suppresses a sigh.

“No, it’s okay. Stay. I bet you two have a lot of stuff to talk about.” She forces a smile and checks her phone. “Actually, I should head back to my hostel anyway.”

“Naw, c’mon Vic, it’s not even nine.” Rory protests.

“Yeah, stay with us, it’s gonna be fun!” London agrees.

“No, no it’s alright. It’s fine. Charlie picks me up tomorrow at ten. Shopping marathon. Girl talk. I need every bit of energy for that.” Forcing another smile, Vic gets up and picks up her bag.

“You sure?” Rory asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m sure.”

“If that’s what you want?” He bites his lip. “See you around, then?”

“Sure.” Vic gives him a last smile and puts some money on the table for her drink. “Bye. Have fun.” she mumbles before she eventually leaves the pub.

Both Rory and London look after her. Once Vic is out of sight, London turns to her friend.

“Really? I leave you alone for three weeks and you’re fucking Barbie now? Now that’s an upgrade.”

Rory smiles at her. “I missed you, too.”

“How tall is she even? Man, I’d kill to have tits like hers. Have you seen her tits? Why, stupid me, of course you have. Up close, I’d guess. ”

“You done?”

“How’d you find her anyway?”

“‘t was the other way round, more or less.” Rory answered truthfully.

“Where’s she from? She’s hardly from here. Sounded like a yank to me.”

“Boston.”

“And what would she want from you? I mean, she looks like cute little birds help her get dressed in the morning, if you catch my drift.”

“So many fuckin’ questions.” Rory moans.

“And what is it with you two? Oh boy, she really did want to murder me for a second, wow. Does the infamous Rory Jameson have a girlfriend now?”

Rory gives London a look, one that says “Will you finally stop talking?”, but London doesn’t even think about doing that.

“You know I won’t leave you alone until you tell me at least something.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Rory groans and rolls his eyes. “She’s an extended friend of my family and she’s on... what the fuck ever they call that shit over the pond. Summer Break or so.”

“How high school!” London beams.

“College.” Rory corrects her.

“Oh, phew, that would make her at least eighteen. Seriously, Rory, what the hell? What do you want with an American college kid as a girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Does she know that as well?”

“Of course she knows.” Rory snaps at her. “She ain’t fuckin’ stupid.”

London gives him a weird smile but she nods and apparently accepts his answer. The two now sit in silence for a few moments. Rory holds his glass in both of his hands now, lost in his thoughts, until London speaks up again. “I’ll leave you alone now. I’ll come by tomorrow, alright? I missed you.”

The two of them say goodbye and I think that Vic and London will see each other for about two or three more times, and Vic will be slightly irritated but London eventually “wins her over” with some occasional “girl talk”. She also tones her manners down a bit - pissing of Rory and his friends might be fun every once in a while but the girls gotta stick together after all.

London always pays close attention to Vic and she sees what Rory simply fails to see. She sees the looks she gives him. She sees how she tries to be casual about everything but London knows that Vic must already be daydreaming of the moment when she has to go home again. About Rory seeing her off last minute at the airport, assuring her he can be a better person, for her and only for her, promising her that they will stay in touch until they will have the chance to see each other again and figure things out.

At some point, she will tell him exactly that. They are on their way back from town, late at night, and hey sit on a railing at an old and abandoned playground, sharing a joint.

Rory brushes the sentiment off. “She knows it ain’t for eternity. She’s having fun, for fuck’s sake, Lon, let her have some fun, she ain’t no baby.”

“It’s so fucking embarrassing how little you know about women.” London scoffs. “The gal has massive heart eyes for you. I know those looks. I have given many of those looks myself and never realised that I was led on the entire time.”

“I am not leading her on!” Rory cuts her off, his voice harsh and with a warning undertone.

“I’m not sayin’ you are, sweetie, but I know that girls like her- oh man. Rory. Girls that age have hopes and dreams, no matter how much they pretend otherwise. Trust me, she’s already pickin’ her damn wedding dress in mind.”

Rory takes another drag and he ponders what London just said.

“She doesn’t deserve this, Rory.” London’s voice is soft now.

“It was her who started it. I never did anything she didn’t want-”

“Of course you didn’t. That’s the problem. You’re such a brooding gentleman, those adventure-seeking college girls are bound to fall for you.”

“You never fell for me.” Rory now laughs and gives London a little nudge and she chimes in laughing.

“I was never like her. My hopes and dreams got shattered a long time ago. Besides, you’re too short anyway.”

“So what am I supposed to do, according to you?” he asks after a while.

“Set her free. Give her a chance. It’s almost over anyway, she’ll be gone in a few days. She’s strong and smart, she’ll heal.”

And that’s when Rory realises that there’s something he has to do. Very soon. He has never meant for any of these things to happen, he merely leaned back and enjoyed the ride but now that he gives the whole situation another thought, he figures that his friend is right. Jeez, she’s always right about these things. If she could only see how smart she actually is. He’s going to do it the next time Vic seeks him out. Every word of his feels like a stab to Vic’s heart until it finally tears apart, he is going to see it in her eyes.

It’s fascinating. After ten years in the streets and knowing all kinds of people at that point, he still has to learn some things. Lesson learned today: Girls have hopes and dreams. Destroy them and you might destroy a life.

He will think of it the next time a pretty young lass makes eyes at him. He will stay with his kind from now on. It really is for the better.

[quicksilverslover]

Missed Opportunities - Pietro Maximoff x Reader

Three times Pietro missed the opportunity to ask Y/N out and one time he didn't.

Word Count: 1.4K+

Welp. I am pretty new at writing, and my English is... A complicated mix of British, American-ish and Rubbish lol, so I beg your forgiveness for the silly mistakes (like prepositions and such)! Hope you enjoy!

Tagging @thedevilwearsvibranium because I tried a thing (?!¿¡) and she gave me a few tips which I used wised wisely (?!?!?) :^)

x

i.

Late.

He was late.

Pietro wasn't even paying attention to whoever was in front of him. He was just thinking about the Chemistry class, of which the professor was kind of intolerant about punctuality. So yes, of course he had (literally) run into someone, dropping all of their books.

“Er… I am sorry, I…” He started, but shut up as he saw who the person was.

Pietro couldn't believe his luck.

Did God hate him or something?

He had just bumped into Y/N, the girl he'd been eyeing for two months now.

“It… it's ok, Pietro…” She smiled kindly, hypnotizing him to lean down and help her grab the books. He absolutely forgot he was late for Chemistry.

He'd been head over heels for her since the day they met. Okay, maybe not since their very first meeting, but he developed a crush on her pretty quickly.

Pietro returned the Y/N’s books and picked up his own, smiling at her and trying not to look like an idiot. “I'm really sorry, printesa.” The (h/c) girl returned his smile. He then took a deep breath and…

“By the way, I was wondering if-” “Oh.” She cut him, looking at the books on her arms. “This one is yours.” She picked the first book in the pile and handed to him. Pietro read the big word “Chemistry” and felt the blood drain from his face.

“S-Sorry again, Y/N, I'm late for class!!!” He ran past her like a missile, mentally slapping himself for missing the chance to ask her out.

ii.

“Pietro, are you even paying attention?” Y/N asked, waving her hand next to his face. Said boy realized he'd been staring at her without even blinking. He quickly made up an excuse. “It's… This is boring, printesa! Can't we take a break?”

“But we barely went through the first part- ah, forget it…” She sighed in exasperation, yet ended up smiling slightly at Pietro. “You're incorrigible.”

He just chuckled back. Y/N had been meeting with him in the library so she could help him study subjects in which he had difficulty.

That's how Pietro’s sapiosexuality took over his heart and he ended up being a mess around Y/N, which was totally out of character considering his usual flirty behaviour towards everything that breathed. And she seemed just not to notice it. His sister had told him a million times to ask her out and he’d never found the right opportunity to do so.

Well, why not now?

“So, Y/N, how about-” He paused at the vibration of a mobile phone. Y/N’s. On the screen it read “Mum”. He saw her frown at it. Of course she did. It was recently found out by Y/N (and eventually her closest friends, including Pietro) that she was adopted. It was very fresh, and therefore a delicate matter.

“I… I have to pick this up.” She said, trying not to let her voice fail. She grabbed the insistent vibrating mobile phone and whispered an “excuse me for a moment” before leaving the library momentarily.

In Pietro’s defense, the blame was on the circumstances. But he missed his chance again, nonetheless. Even after Y/N came back, she was clearly not in the mood for chit-chatting. And obviously, he respected her, so they just resumed their studies awkwardly.

iii.

To say that Pietro was popular with the girls is an understatement. He was physically attractive. He had a foreign accent (everyone loves foreigners). He was good at sports.

That meant, like in every cliche movie about teenagers, that he was a girl magnet.

Except for the one he actually liked.

x

“You're an idiot.” Wanda said in Sokovian, crossing her arms in disbelief. Pietro was flirting with Amanda, one of the cheerleaders of the football team when his sister arrived. He didn't really mean anything serious with the cheerleader, everyone knew he only had eyes to one girl.

The twins often talked in their native language so no one would understand them. And one of the most frequent subjects was Pietro’s ridiculous lack of attitude towards Y/N. “What is it now, sister?” He rolled his eyes, watching as the girl excused herself.

Wanda discreetly pointed at the nearest grandstand. There sat Y/N herself, wearing earphones and and reading a book. He gulped, again, not believing his luck. When she noticed Pietro’s not so discreet staring, she waved, smiling coyly, as if not very comfortable about something. She had obviously seen the previous scene.

“Go talk to her! If you didn't just screw up any chances you have, of course…” Wanda said, a fake sweet smile on her face as she also waved to Y/N, before giving her brother one last look and leaving.

Pietro knew Wanda was right. Even though everyone knew about his appealing demeanor, Y/N was the last person he wanted to see that. What if she never gave him a chance, for being afraid he wouldn't take her seriously or cheat on her? Of course he would never do that, but he could never tell what Y/N actually thought of him in that aspect.

All those thoughts dragged him down. Yet it didn't stop him from going to sit next to her. “Buna dimineata, printesa~” He gave her his best smile, watching as she marked the page of her book before closing it and removing the earphones.

They talked about several subjects and, eventually, “dating” popped up. He thought about asking Y/N out right then, but dismissed it as a bad idea (and timing). She had seen Pietro flirting with Amanda, so opening up with Y/N about his feelings could be misunderstood and she could think he was a womaniser or something.

So he missed that chance due to pure paranoia and stupidity.

+1: iv.

God seemed to notice Pietro’s struggle after all.

He forgot his scale ruler at the library. It was late afternoon, so he didn't expect to be more people than the library lady. But there was one bookworm that looked up from her notebook and glanced at Pietro, who felt his heart melting. She sent him an inviting smile, and he approached her after retrieving his material.

They talked briefly about what she was studying. And, with that, he found out that Y/N had the habit to study his subjects besides hers, so she could help him later. He had thought that Y/N simply knew everything. Not that she made such effort for him.

And he knew he was screwed. At this point he was probably in love. He tried to act normally, I swear he did. But in the end he earned a laugh from Y/N. “Pietro, you are being a mess. Breathe.” She said among giggles. Well, he was already in hell, might as well dance with the Devil! Looking down, he somehow managed to answer.

“... That is... Because... I like you, printesa. A lot.” He took a deep breath, honestly not knowing what to expect. So that was the sensation of telling someone his feelings and finding himself before the possibility of being rejected. It was the first time for him.

A thousand thoughts ran through his mind, before Pietro finally looked down at Y/N. She was grinning playfully, not surprised at all. “Yes, I know~”

What?

Pietro must have been looked stunned, because she was giggling now. “Believe it or not, it's really easy to know when you and Wanda are talking about me. Plus all the staring, stuttering, blushing...~”

Heat rose to his cheeks. Pietro gave Y/N a seemingly confident smile, trying to hide his utter embarrassment. “I guess you were smarter than us, huh~” he muttered, smirking at himself. Now the big question was: would she return his affections?

“So…” Pietro almost couldn't hear himself. His heart beated faster than a hummingbird's. “Do you wanna go out with me?” He raised both eyebrows, uneasiness practically dripping from his mouth. But he still managed a shy, loving smile.

He only relaxed when Y/N touched his hand, taking it gently. She bit her lip before replying. “Of course I do. I would love to, actually.” She said that so easily, so honestly. “I haven't said anything before because… I was a bit affected by that thing with my parents and-”

For impulse, Pietro approached Y/N before she could finish and finally locked their lips, being corresponded immediately. Right now, neither of them were thinking about anything else in the world.

And all his worries vanished.

x

What the bloody hell was this ending :B

Anyways, I hope you like it more than I did xD

[soundsosweeet]

okay so this is just a rant and i’m posting here bc the least amount of people know about my account lol so feel free to skip (it’s more for myself anyway bc it’s so hard for me to discuss with other people since my sister is home all the time)

so i guess this all started this summer (well not technically but that’s when things started to actually happen)... we have a family groupchat on imessage with me, my sister, and laura’s (my sister’s partner) family (laura is white and so is her immediate family...) and this past spring it was brought to the gc’s attention by my sister that people were basically stocking up on guns and ammo as a response to covid by trump supporters bc he called it the china virus. laura’s dad, of course, who tries to avoid conflict at all costs, tries to change the subject to be more lighthearted and one of his other children, laura’s younger sister notices this and acknowledges it in the gc. later on that morning, my sister made a very important observation and brought it to the gc. i have pointed out before that 3 out of 5 children in this family are with asian people to laura and she expressed that the thought didn’t even cross her mind. the other two siblings are 1) not in a relationship and 2) with another white person. anyway, how do you not notice something like this?? something so blatantly obvious. and it’s not like they all JUST got with these people. they’ve been together and/or married for YEARS.... anyway my sister basically said all of this in the gc, and pointing out how laura’s dad was trying to deflect and change the subject. she pointed out how it must be easier for them to not talk about racism, esp towards asian people. laura kinda backed her up but of course, the bare minimum support. she never says anything to her family esp her parents about anything serious ever. unless my sister points it out to her bc laura is just so oblivious. they’ve been together for what like 17 years and my sister only started to speak up about her negative experiences with laura’s parents a few years ago but she has had to endure racist comments a lot over the years. she has told me this and has expressed her frustration to me about laura and her family. i think she started to talk to me about this bc she knew that i’d understand and she wanted me to help her put these things that she was feeling and experiencing into words that would help laura and her family (mostly her parents) understand what they’ve been saying to her these past several years at times were very offensive. going back to the story in the gc, laura’s younger sister backed up their father and was basically trying to say that he wasn’t trying to go against my sister at all, he was just trying to avoid the subject bc of very stupid reasons in my opinion, she said her father was trying to “steer the conversation away from stockpiling ammunition and general doomsday predictions. This is undeniably bringing out the worst in humanity, but we as a family don’t need to be feeding each others’ fears about it.” like okay.... i’m sorry you’re uncomfortable???? but my sister is right. they never talk about these things (as expressed by laura after having to be asked by my sister) and they need to. it’s long overdue. this was the first part of laura’s sister’s message to the gc in response to my sister, before what she said about steering the convo away from the guns and ammo: “We’re all frustrated right now and it is boiling over. Racism is unjust and sometimes fatal and  it’s absolutely justified to be mad as hell about all of this. And you’re right that sometimes we all avoid the topic of race and racism because we can’t find the right words to skillfully address them or we just don’t try hard enough to. I’m very saddened to hear that on top of everything else, some people are having to fear racially motivated backlash right now and in general.” i really don’t think they’ll understand or ever truly try to understand.. they don’t even want to talk about it!! that’s where my other frustration comes in. with laura. i get that in her own way she’s been trying to help my sister and get her family to talk about all of this but in my eyes, it’s not enough. my sister always raves about how laura is this nice, caring, and understanding person. but i feel like that only is true for things that are directly related to her, or things that are only within her comfort zone. and this kind of conversation, esp with her family, outside of her parents, is outside of her comfort zone. she has also expressed that doing these kinds of things (like having serious conversations) brings her great anxiety which is understandable, but in my eyes, she is using her anxiety as an excuse rather than an explanation. idk if that makes any sense but in other words, i feel that she is using the anxiety that this situation brings her as an excuse not to talk about it or have the least amount of involvement in it. but my sister believes that she is the key to open up the conversation that needs to be had, with her family. i think my sister is right. look how quickly they shot my sister down. they’re not going to listen to her. but they will listen to their beloved daughter. so she needs to create that bridge. and she says that she is trying and i guess she is but i feel like again, it’s bare minimum, if that really. anyway after that comment by laura’s sister, my sister left the gc and the convo in the gc was normal by the next day. same old lighthearted photos and comments and white people humor that i never seem to understand. and just recently, laura’s dad added my sister back to the family gc like WHAT LMAO. i just don’t get it. i mean i guess i do bc to them it doesn’t directly affect them, so they don’t care as much but fuck dude, like this family’s shit!!!! i hate it here lol. 

related but also different story, time, place, etc. so we’ve been living in this house for about 6 months now. this city, as big and diverse as it is, we i guess got stuck around literal trump supporters lol like just my luck really. how do we know that?? well when i look at all the wifi networks, “Trump 2020″ comes up as an option. and it is still there even though he lost. anyway. another example, well idk if they’re trump supporters but i’m making an educated guess bc our neighbors across the way have this huge lit up US flag. like it’s the US flag made up of lights and they turn it on every evening since we got here.... in september. idk how long they had it up before we moved in but man, it’s literally been up and lit every night since we moved in in september like ???? i thought they would take it down after christmas like bc it would make sense, bc they were gonna take down their christmas lights anyway but nope. they took everything else down but the flag!!!! not our whole neighborhood is like that though, or it doesn’t seem to be. you know those yard signs (i know this is bare minimum too but it kinda gives me hope after the whole wifi and flag thing) that are like “love is love, black lives matter” and all that?? omg i found it, it’s this:

anyway so i see these around too, in addition to american flags and shit. but i was walking my dog one day in broad daylight, i think it was like around 3pm. i was on my own street like on the way home, and i had just crossed the street bc we live on a main street i guess and there are a lot of side streets, so i was just crossing one of the side streets but still stayed on the same side and everything. this car pulls up to the stop sign that i just passed, and by back is facing them, and this guy that sounds about my age like early twenties maybe a bit older was like “HEY LADY WHY ARE YOU WALKING YOUR DINNER. WHY IS THE DOG EATER WALKING HER DOG. WHY ARE YOU WALKING YOUR MEAL.” and just a bunch of variations of essentially the same thing. i know they were trying to get me to turn around when they just kept on going, repeating basically the same phrase. the guy even yelled at me to turn around but i didn’t. the whole time i was looking forward and just kept walking. i also believe he was in the passenger seat but that’s just the way the car was facing like the passenger seat would’ve been the closest to me. i think i heard whoever was in the driver’s seat like chuckling after the guy’s first sentence. i was so scared. i was so scared they were gonna follow me home. i was almost home like i was already on my street!! luckily they didn’t follow me home, and they turned left after they were done harassing me. if they turned right though, then i would’ve been even more scared that they would stop the car and try to hurt me. this old guy who was in front of his house heard everything that happened though and i think saw the guy who was yelling at me and the car that they were in. as i was passing his house, he asked me if i was okay, and of course i lied and said “yes i’m okay, thank you” and kept walking. what else was i supposed to do. idk. i rushed home after that though. this car even drove by me and stopped just ahead of me and i thought they came back but i think they were just lost bc as i was approaching the car, they drove off, probably looking at directions or something. so how this is related to what i was talking about at first... laura told her family about this. her parents and her younger sister (the one that defended her dad earlier). all they had to say was “i’m sorry that happened to you” essentially. like i grocery shop for her parents bc they’re old and you know less exposure and i don’t mind it at all, but anyway when i was dropping the groceries off at their house, laura’s mom asked if i could talk for a minute on the porch and i said yes and she was basically like “laura told me about what happened to you last week” and i was just like “oh” bc i knew that laura told them but i wasn’t expecting either of her parents to actually talk to me about it bc ya know like they always try to avoid talking about serious shit. but she was like “i’m so sorry that happened to you. that’s horrible. there’s still terrible, incredibly racist people out there.” and i was like yeah bro i know in my head lol like ???? there have been many incidents recently that are much worse than mine surrounding asian people esp the elderly, and she never mentioned any of that. just what happened to me. idk it just bothers me that they only really “care” when something happens. i mean they never actually do anything after the fact but they only say shit like that or wanna talk about it when something bad happens to me?? fucked up.

also just some other problems i have with laura (i’m copy/pasting from my notes app lol and adding stuff to it if i feel like it needs more context or whatever):

(i guess this is more about my sister and laura’s relationship and not just laura...) how do express that i’m not part of their relationship. ofc i wanna help my sister bc i know she has a hard time explaining these kinds of things bc she’s explicitly told me and bc i know she’s had to keep quiet or felt like she’s needed to keep quiet for a long time but i’m not part of their relationship. i shouldn’t have to be this person in the middle trying to relay what my sister is feeling to laura so that it’s clear and easy to understand for her white ass fucking brain. bc also the truth is that laura should already know. she’s only ever been with women of color that i know of and i know she’s not oblivious about the history this country has with people of color. she must know something at least but when it comes to her family making weird remarks about asians, she either doesn’t catch it or doesn’t defend my sister. only recently has my sister been comfortable telling laura that these things happen, that she feels uncomfortable with some of the things laura’s parents say whether they’re directed at her or not. and my sister even left the family groupchat bc she tried to say something to the whole family specifically something laura’s dad said about asians being targeted for “causing covid” (not just her parents but the extended family, two of her siblings are also with asian people) but got a negative response (from her dad and her sister) and so she felt the need to leave. they’ve been together for so long like 17 years?? and all of this is just being addressed now but my sister feels that laura isn’t doing enough to make her parents understand the things that my sister has gone through throughout her life and the racism she’s faced and now the heightened amount of racism other asian people are facing. and she’s also scared bc she’s not straight, obviously she’s with laura but laura’s white. and ofc she’s not straight either but she’s still white and that will always come first bc it’s what people are able to see. so when my sister is “being paranoid” about the people who live around us finding out about them because laura’s parents want to give them my sister and laura’s info just in case something happens, laura can’t quite explain my sister’s reasoning to her parents the way that she wants her too. she thinks that laura is sugarcoating these things for them and she doesn’t know why - does she think they won’t understand?? is she just protecting them?? who tf knows. but my sister knows for sure that if they aren’t told straight up why my sister is so scared, then they’ll never understand and they’ll keep trying to do things like this. and ofc i get why my sister is scared, ofc i don’t fully understand but i can imagine why. 

also i just believe that laura is ignorant (and chooses to be). which really sucks, again bc from what i know she has only been with women of color, her ex and my sister. at least those are the only two relationships that i’ve heard of. but i know she also graduated undergrad with a degree in sociology. i know times have changed and that she might not have learned all of the things that i have learned in my sociology classes but fuck man. she’s really gonna limit herself to learning about these things in a classroom esp when we already know our education is targeted towards and favors white people (esp back then, like early 2000s)?? yikes. i don’t understand how one who is not only with someone esp for this long but also got a degree in this kind of stuff just isn’t interested in keeping themselves informed and educated. like just bc you’re with a person of color doesn’t just give you this pass or all the knowledge that you need to know bc guess what, my sister doesn’t even understand all the things that we do (like at this summer, at the peak of the blm protests, my sister asked me “what about asians, why aren’t people talking about how asian people have suffered during the pandemic”). but i know my sister is at least kinda trying. she reads things every day to keep herself informed and also attends virtual discussions. laura does not. my sister has even told me. she works and that’s it. and she says that she understands that laura has anxiety and that these sorts of topics make her really anxious. but i think she’s just scared. i mean i don’t want to undermine her anxiety at all. that’s not what i’m trying to do. i just think that she’s using it more as an excuse rather than like an explanation, if that makes any sense. i just don’t know what to do bc this really frustrates me. and i feel a lot of pressure bc my sister has no one else to talk about it with. and i obviously want to help her and she talks to me bc she knows that i know these things and can help her put these things into words for her so that she can explain everything to laura. but laura gets reeeeeally defensive. and that’s also really annoying. she just shuts down and closes herself off. bc it’s like she doesn’t even try to understand and that’s what i don’t understand about her and this whole thing about her being “nice” and supportive or whatever. this is what my sister has told me and my cousins. that laura is the nicest person in the world. and she’s the one who has told me many times that “anyone can be nice.” and i’m not saying that laura isn’t nice, bc i think she is but i still think that she keeps that kindness and generosity and caring/compassion within her own circle. like she doesn’t necessarily try to do anything for people that aren’t directly within her circle of things she cares about or directly relates to her. she will only donate to organizations that she has a connection to but not the ones that don’t necessarily relate to her like literally anything that involved black people this summer. it didn’t even seem like a possibility to her. it just angers me so much that she’s painted as this really nice, caring person but she doesn’t even care enough to really understand her own partner’s struggles and stand up to her parents for her when she needs her to without being asked. i know it takes time to notice these things especially as a white person bc it’s not really stuff they’re used to noticing or whatever but shit. it’s the least she can do. really. like it’s about time. 

and an update from the present bc the points i made above were from january (right after the incident walking my dog). laura has a new position now at work. she’s the temp assistant nurse manager bc someone left so they asked her to take on the position. she’s only temp bc she technically could be the permanent one but she doesn’t want to do it since they apparently don’t do as much hands-on patient stuff and that’s what she likes to do i guess. it’s more paperwork i believe than she’s used to with her regular position. anyway, before she took on this new position, my sister told me she talked to laura about how even before, she didn’t really help around the house at all. like she’d come home after work and just sleep or dick around. meanwhile, my sister also works all day, cooks, cleans/does laundry (for the house but also her own AND laura’s which i’ve told her more than once is ridiculous.. that she does laura’s laundry), does grocery shopping, etc. like basically everything else, in addition to me, bc i also do a lot of stuff around the house. i also cook, i clean, and i take care of the dog, and go grocery shopping w my sister too sometimes. but the only thing laura really does (and she doesn’t even do it anymore since she started with this new position) was walk the dog. truthfully, i haven’t had the courage to go out again by myself to walk the dog since that happened to me. and i feel like i eventually will but idk. so my sister basically told her if you take this position, you need to promise me you’re gonna try even harder to help me/us around the house. bc her shift time has also switched like instead of coming home around 8pm, she now gets home around 3pm, so much more daylight and time in general to be helping around the house. but guess what. nothing has changed. i haven’t spoken to my sister about it or how she feels, whether or not she thinks that laura is getting better about helping around the house but at least imo, nothing has changed. if anything she sleeps more bc she gets up so early for work now so she naps when she gets home, and nothing gets done bc she has such a hard time getting up after she takes a nap. annoying. 

and an addition to what i was saying about how laura completely shuts down when we talk about her and her family, like how they don’t do shit about anything: when we were talking a couple weeks ago about what happened last spring in the family group chat, laura said that she had texted her sister about the situation to get her honest opinion about what happened and ask her why she responded in the way that she did (defending their dad). my sister and i kept asking laura to tell us exactly how their convo went. and she would look at her phone and tell us pieces. i could tell she was leaving stuff out bc while she was looking at her phone, she’d pause and not say anything, as if she was reading and not tell us bc it would upset us, and then continue on a couple seconds later about the stuff she thought was okay to say. she just didn’t want us to shit on her sister. i could feel it. i even asked her if i could just read the text convo rather than her “reading” it to us, bc she wasn’t actually reading everything and i thought it would be easier than her trying to explain everything they had already talked about. she hesitated then said no, she didn’t want me to read. my sister asked why and she just stayed silent. laura always says that she says to her family and feels that she “just wants to open up a conversation.” okay then what is this?? she’s not even telling us everything!! my sister asked her again why she doesn’t want us to read the texts. she asks “are you afraid we’ll get mad at her (her sister)??” and laura replies yes. my sister says why?? give us a summary of what she said if you don’t wanna read word for word. laura says her sister is just defending their dad and is angry towards my sister, targeting her anger towards my sister bc of what she said in the gc. laura’s sister feels that my sister was specifically targeting her anger at their dad at the time and she was still mad about that. do you see what i’m saying?? this family is fucked. laura does not want to open up a conversation from what i’m seeing. when we’re against her and her family, she doesn’t wanna talk. if we wanna talk generally about racism and homophobia, she’s okay with it. how can you say you wanna “open up a conversation” and not converse or only talk about the stuff that isn’t as difficult to talk about???? but my sister tried to get laura to tell us more by adding that if she told us, we could help her formulate a response she can send to her sister to help her understand where my sister was coming from. laura still refused to tell us. and i still haven’t seen those texts yet and i don’t think i ever will. and i don’t think laura will even talk to us about their conversations anymore. she’s too scared. and that’s all i can think of rn lol. i might update this later but yeah..

[unfortunatelysirius]

Rant Time! w/ Katie

I’ll most likely be spending my entire night writing on requests and other stupid shit that I’d like to work on, but for now I’m about to give y'all another rant that’s completely unnecessary but something that helps even out the stress I’m currently experiencing.

I’m going to be seventeen in less than two months and I still haven’t went to get my permit. I have a paranoia of driving and it prevents me from having the motivation to read my state’s driving manual and to actually go and take the test. My mom thinks it’s stupid of me to think like that, but there’s like twenty car crashes a day—probably more. And that scares the hell out of me so I just keep putting it off.

In other news, my first day of senior year is August 10th and I am freaking the FUCK OUT. I signed up to take AP Biology, but now I’m starting to feel a tad nervous and regretful because hardly anyone ever passes that class due to the obnoxiously dimwitted teaching style of the teacher. I heard only one person passed the end-of-the-year exam out of ten last year. ONE—when there’s a solid chance of getting a 3-5 on the damn thing!

My schedule is decked out in college classes. I know I probably shouldn’t disclose my schedule, but I’m meant to be taking AP Biology—as aforementioned—College English, two dual credit classes from a local community college, (one’s a history class and the other one is a literature class) Pre-Calculus, Public Speaking, and Anatomy I. That’s for the first semester—I plan on taking College Algebra and a few more dual credit classes in the next semester, including the other classes that will last year-round.

So this means I have that to worry about AND getting into college AND learning to manage finances AND ALL THIS OTHER SHIT THAT ADULTS HAVE TO DO. Can I please just become the air or something, you know, nOT HUMAN? Maybe a dog, so I can depend on others for the rest of my live.

I plan on going to a college with a work-study program. They don’t allow students to live off-campus or have cars, so that’s a win-win for me! My other choice of college is one that’s really pretentious and expensive but is known for having outstanding education. I’m not shooting for Harvard or Yale because I’m an incredibly average person. Sucks to be unremarkable, I know, but meh.

Anyway, to continue on with my rant, I want to talk about rich people. I have nothing against you all that have been blessed with money from birth—I’m merely upset with the fact that I get no recognition for my accomplishments just because I’m not privileged. Guess what, y'all—they got me excited at the end of last semester by announcing a new round of AP classes, but literally all of them were for the freaking juniors. Two of the kids in that class were teacher’s pets, and since my own mother works down at the school with both of their mothers, it didn’t take a genius to deduce what sort of Inside shenanigans were going on.

Get this—they legit called all of us that signed up for AP Language to go back down and change out our schedules. Like, what the fuck?

I had a dream the other day where I moved schools and fell in love with some dude that was also transferring. Best dream of my life, I’ll tell you that.

Anyway… again… It just feels like to me that school only ever tries to please privileged kids with parents that are doctors, teachers (specifically ones born into privileged families or related to the superintendent), attorneys, and accountants. No one wants to advocate for the middle-man, and that leads to all us poor kids being singled out. Whatever, though, right?

Sometimes I just feel like everything I do amounts to nothing. Is it wrong to feel that way? I look at my writing and think I’m worse than Stephanie Meyer. Apologies to Stephanie Meyer fans, but her writing WAS dedicated to those of young age and without a moral compass for controlling temperament found within men.

*clears throat* Ahem. Anyways…

I plan on going into a dual major of political science and history—or English, if worse comes to worse. I really don’t want to become rich because then I’ll be targeted and judged for the same things I loathe right now. However, my ambitions correlate with a need to prove my worth and do something great with my life, so whether or not I become what I hate, it doesn’t matter if I’ve managed to become a model for my relatives and former friends.

The best revenge is to succeed and be humble about it. I might be arrogant about my schoolwork, but that’s only towards friends and relatives when they believe that I don’t deserve to be successful in what I do. Then and there, I become arrogant. Even if I do not necessarily believe my own comments, I still say them to make others lay off me.

Returning to the thought at-hand, my college of choice is very liberal and hipster-esque, which suits my personal interests. Also, it's known for its study-abroad program, free internships, and its education, which are three things that matter dearly for me. I hope to get an internship at either the NAACP or the White House. Maybe even just a visit to see Mount Rushmore.

Teddy Roosevelt is my favorite president, and I know more things about him than I do my own father. Thank you, Borglum, for having Teddy recognized as one of the greatest presidents to have ever lived!

Seriously, though. He even left the legacy of having the highest percentage of voters when he ran as a third-party candidate just to spite Taft. Like, wow.

… I’m getting off track here.

Having anxiety fucking sucks. See, last year I had to a lot of these “roundtable discussions” in my AP U.S. History class, and I managed to make it through on all of them except for a few towards the end of the second semester. I even had one on my fucking birthday, which sucked majorly. They were a lot more difficult to manage than debates. I could handle debates; they didn’t involve having to force myself to speak up or face the consequences of a zero.

I loved APUSH—I really did—but now I feel like I’m an excuse for a history lover because I got a 4 on the APUSH exam. Not a 5—a 4. I have failed you, Teddy. (RIP, Bull Moose. Not even a bullet could have stopped you, but a failed test grade sure as hell stopped me lol.)

Anyways, if you haven’t noticed, I’m American. I’m also white—and according to this random ancestry website I found, I originate from Sweden and Italy. I guess that’s cool… but I don’t trust the internet so uh…

Back to stress! …That’s a good way to refer to going back to school. Just replace “hellhole” with “stress.” Basic synonyms, everyone!

I have bad friends. All of them are assholes and think I’m a bitch because I’m “skin and bones” and like to “flaunt it” just because I wear decently nice clothes. I know they’d be offended if I told them it’s because I feel uncomfortable not wearing something that makes me feel happy with myself. It’s not me thinking I look good—it’s a confidence-boost. Am I meant to be looking for a damned boyfriend just by wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a blouse? Is that how life works?

I remember in eighth grade I had this friend who told me I looked like a prep, and then she made me feel so bad about “trying to fit in” that I started wearing jeans and hoodies to school. It hurts to think about how much impact people’s words have over you—and half of time, it’s never a positive influence. For me, it’s never been positive.

Well, I’m sorry for burdening you all with this rant. I know it’s rather… long, but I just needed to get it off my chest. Keeps hurting when I see everyone else finishing up projects while I’m still sketching out the blueprints. I’ll get back to posting things tonight and tomorrow. I’m sorry I didn’t post anything today. It’s rather pitiful of me to put off things when I know you all are the only reason I can even stay motivated anymore.

Have a nice night, (or morning, depending on where you are) my darlings. 💕

[uwu-lla]

Aight so here is my lil Ol vent, 90% of it is barely understandable rambling but here it is.

So my hyper fixation atm is what little bit of lore I’ve got from Overwatch fan fiction lol And because I only have little tid bits my brain is all “let’s fill in the gaps! Make up our own plot!” N I’m just like “no! Dumbass, this isn’t good for us! We need to stop trying to think of this and get back in touch with the real world!” But of course that never fucking works, and this one is esp bad and idk y? Like I’ve had hyper fixations before but they’ve never been THIS intense. Haven’t torn me up this bad before.

But like, the bits I do get of the lore is that everything in this continent is screwed n my paranoia has gone like “that’s gonna happen soon!” N I just scream internally everytime. I guess I just really hate it when American media people decide to make my country nothing more than an apocalyptic wasteland. Like, they love to focus only on the shitty bland white Australian culture while this place literally has the oldest people n culture in the world???? Like what the koories got is so much better than the white bullshit excuse for a “culture” that Americans seems to be in love be with.

And speaking of American idolisation of white Australians, it really peeves me off that the two Australian characters are basically the Overwatch universe equivalent of racists and when I learned that I was just “fuck, THIS again. Like we needed more examples of ‘casual Aussie racism” and it’s super annoying because they’re shipped together n it’s like my dream come fucking true like they’re BOTH Australian AND gay??? Yes! Finally! Something I can personally relate to! But then I found out they are futuristic robo racists. But like, u know of anything else with gay Australians with a large fan base that updates near constantly? No! So I just have to suck it up ignore it cuz this is as good as it’s gonna get for me. And I’m not saying that the roadrat people are racists in fact they’re the exact opposite n I know they’re in the same boat as me, trying to ignore the maybe metaphorical White Australian Racism so they can enjoy a gay couple with a great dynamic n very different body types.

It just peeves me off that once again, just like with all those shitty mad max movies n crocodile Dundee, white Australia is put in the spotlight in American media and any good culture that this continent has is ignored.

I guess now I’ll talk about the bits of lore my brain has decided to fill in???

Okay, so I know that like, the company or whatever that makes the robots decides everyone who lives in the desert can get fucked n move which is real shitty n happens allot today but I’ll talk about that later. So, desert people r understandably pissed. U can’t just do that, we’re gonna fight u! But instead of getting angry at the company, they get angry at the robots??? I think idk. But anyway, desert people decide robots r bad, n all must die. So they kill a bunch, n end up blowing up the nuclear reactor that makes robots, resulting in killing EVERYONE. Like EVERYTHING, robots people plants animals u name it. So now the desert people r all crazy n sick, and the rich city people n company people don’t want to help cuz it’s they fucking fault since that factory wasn’t supposed to be there. And so yeah, two Australian terrorists, blah blah.

But here’s the thing. Right now, real life right, the desert communities in central Australia are mostly Aboriginal. Cuz it’s they land, n they’re luckily been able to keep it that way cuz they’re so far from the coast n the cities. But the thing that happens all the time? They get pushed off of their land by mining companies. So when I learned that bit of Overwatch lore, I was like “hang on r they referencing this???” N so my brain started to fill in.

I’m guessing, that this lil desert town of 95% Aboriginal people r in the way of Future Robot Company. They want them gone, they wanna dig n make more robots (don’t know y???). BUT, you see, in certain areas of central Australia, the Aboriginal communities have been able to get official land rights recognised by the government. Which means they get to have a say in what happens to their country in the Parliament House (sometimes. It’s def not perfect). So, obviously this future desert town is like “lol no u can’t mine our country dumbass” n the gov gotta go with that. But, mining companies r horrible fucking people, so they find a loophole. They say “but we wanna make this a safe place for our robots! We love them n everyone is trying to kill them” so the gov shittily lets it happen, n the company is cheering cuz yay they get to mine n the robots will get blamed for it! So the desert people r all super pissed, n some decide that it must be taken out on the robots! They’re the ones doing all this! But like I said before, this shit happens irl all the time to desert communities. The Aboriginal community understands it’s this shitty company doing all this n using the already being oppressed (???) as an easy blame.

And this is where the “ALF” come in.

Now when I learned about that, it really squicked me out. Cuz here in Australia, there is this skin head group called “Australian patriots front” n the “ALF” that Mako joins sounds like these nazi scum decided to take advantage of these angry desert people, swapped 'Patriots’ with 'liberation’, n recruited these people to push their own hateful agenda. N mako fucking falls for it, cuz he really thinks the robots r to blame. But, the other part of the desert community sees right through this bullshit n tries to stop this group from doing their robot ethnic cleansing. So, being the reskinned nazis they are, the ALF starts to also attack the Aboriginal community of this town for not wanting to kill robots. Mako just goes along with it, cuz he’s young n stupid n hoo boy does he hate robots. So a big Ol fight breaks out. ALF goes to destroy the factory, despite the koories being like “dumbasses ur gonna kill us all its not the robots it’s the sickos in the cities go kill them” n boom. They kill everyone n everything, n have made everything to ever live in the desert sick for eternity. I’d like to think that 90% of the koories were able to get out of there before it all went to shit, so all the people remaining r mostly white. Which kinda explains y Mr. Scopophobia is a blond white guy. So, he grows up with all these remaining ALF people telling him the reason everything is bad is because robots did it. So he too hates robots for a thing they had no control over, n kills any he sees. He has no idea that at one point everyone who lived in this shell of a town was Aboriginal, and probably doesn’t even know that Koories are even a thing. Then yeah he meets mr pig face n decides to go kill robots n rich people (I’m happy with that) in the outside world, and mr pig just doesn’t tell him about how he was partly responsible for ruining their continent and ensuring a shitty upbringing for Jun Jun. why would he? He doesn’t wanna ruin this relationship! Sooo it’s just best lil stick thin man doesn’t know.

After lots of stealing n robot related hate crimes, they for some reason??? Join Overwatch (which I’m not really sure what they do???) n they barely avoid not killing the robots that work there. Which brings me to what I learned not too long ago, that the robots were raging against the machine (horf horf) n had decided to revolt against the human race(I for one welcome our new robot overlords) n start killing humans (2 wrongs don’t make a right buddies). So Overwatch decided to not just stop the robots from killing people, but squashing their revolution n making them back into the servants they were made to be (fuckin shitty) That’s what I understood anyway. Idk. If I’m right about that, why, of all fucking times of our history, would blizzard decide to have a story about a government organisation destroying an oppressed race’s revolution. Like, that’s in bad taste.

So yeah my illness riddled brain has decided to cling to all this, making daily life very difficult for me. Having massive disconnections from reality, like, shit that lasts almost a whole day till my rents get home n snap me out of it. I forget to eat, drink, walk Sputnik, etc. cuz I’m just so lost in my own thoughts. I’m seeing a psych today, but she n a bunch of others might decide if I tell them this to not let me have top surgery so I’m scared to tell her. And cuz my brain has clung onto all this crap, it’s always focusing on how the robots r getting abused n so my brains like “help them! Do it! Now!” N I’m just like “fucker they ain’t real u know this so y r u being a dumbass n wasting time on this” so I’m all pent up n frustrated. I’m not really sure on how to go about dealing with this. I can’t exactly set up a ritual n ask Bunjil n Bellin Bellin to give me a cure for my mental illnesses. I think I’ll look up ways to connect with reality when I get home n see what that tells me.

So yeah, I’m real frustrated. Frustrated with my tiny White Suburban Mum town, with the society we live in where I can’t find a place simply because I can’t do certainly n things n therefore useless to the working world. Frustrated that I can’t help the koorie community here cuz I have no useful skills, n all the hard work at school last year has been all for naught.

So yeah, hopefully this will be the end of this big Ol vent. I’m kinda scared about posting this, scared of people deciding I’m a bad person for whatever reasons in here n going after me. Last thing I need is a digital army against me. Aight bye bye.