#also it takes a minute or two but its a huge improvement over the hours of waiting i did only for it to crash so bisexual W!

[rainbowtvz]

*turns into a dolly* tehe :3c

[crimsonender]

Mikaila Orchard sucks at Paneling

I debated making this a video or not. But, I decided against it. If you guys are interested in me making videos about this sort of thing, let me know and perhaps it's something I could cover in the future.

So Mikaila Turkleson aka Mikaila Orchard has always made... questionable art. To me it seems like a weird amalgamation of Equestria Girls and Sophie Labelle's art. Anatomy bad character design bad etc etc. I don't however see a lot of people talk about her paneling.

Recently, Mikaila and presumably her partner, Lily Orchard started a new art endeavour. I assume to turn over a new leaf and bury the now-infamous Pokemadhouse. You can find it over at bhaalspawnfunnies. It appears as if the blog will focus around the player character of Baldur's Gate 1, Gorion's Ward, and their half sister, Imoen. This is the first entry.

Source

Where to start? My first impression is that this is very poorly drawn, and low effort even by Mikaila's standards. The speech bubbles are low contrast against the background. The ground/floor blurry blob looks extremely bad. As a fellow artist I get the distinct impression that Mikaila did not want to draw this piece.

Moreover, there's a huge issue with the panelling and pacing. Comics are really cool in that you can kind of use panelling and negative space to "time" jokes, leading the eye where you want it to go and using framing and other art tricks to make a punchline land a little better.

This "comic" has none of that. There is no pacing, there is no comedic timing. It's all bland and presented as a block. I took it upon myself to re-panel this piece, and I've made two versions: One, with Mikaila's art style and visuals, but with the panelling slightly adjusted to be more punchy and effective, the other I completely redrew, using the same joke.

Excuse the sloppiness. I'm not going to expend too much energy polishing and gilding this turd.

That being said, this is already a huge improvement. Even if Mikaila isn't at the technical level of a professional artist, this is very attainable with only a few more minutes of effort. The timing is punchier, the speech bubbles draw your eyes down the page, and even without colour coding, it's clear which of the characters is talking. This isn't exactly a hot take but in my opinion you shouldn't need colour coding on a comic page to denote who is speaking. It should be very obvious! Moreover, speech bubbles should be included in the composition, not added as an after thought.

I'm guessing the original comic took her less than an hour to make. I think I'm being generous here, honestly if this took her more than twenty minutes I would be concerned. Being generous though I gave myself one hour to make a version completely redrawn.

This was again, very quickly put together and of course is in no way perfect, but its to demonstrate what a little bit of thought can do to improve a comic page. I decided to change the pose of Gorion because making family guy references should be a a cardinal sin for artists, as well as make the characters a little more recognizable. "Aryana" is, notably, Lily's OC and bears little resemblance to the canon character of Gorion's Ward, but considering Baldurs Gate does allow character customization and dialogue choices, I decided to make their gender a little more ambiguous so players of any gender could see their version of Gorion's Ward in the comic, but kept the elf with long dark hair appearance from Mikaila's original. I also looked over the pic after I was all done and ready to upload and noticed some small flaws I could easily fix, and went back and did those things. You should always go over your pieces when you're finished them with fresh eyes before you submit them as a final piece.

Again, this certainly isn't perfect and I'd probably put more effort into a piece with characters I care about and a joke I actually find funny, but I hope this demonstrates that pacing and expression really are everything in comics.

[onthegreatsea]

i needed to test a joycon and had left totk in my switch so i sat down and was just casually playing it and like.. fuck man. its such a frustrating game. why is everything so cumbersome?

it uses every button on the controller constantly and its still not enough! its so poorly designed. i honestly cant believe this was the best design they could come up with why the fuck cant you just fuse things in the menu? why do i have to select the item in the menu, drop it, exit the menu and then press two more buttons to fuse it? assuming i am not accidentally too close to another item that is also fuseable and then have to run around to get it to auto select the thing i want? (god forbid the physics make it roll down a hill)

like im in the middle of a fight and want a special arrow and what do i have to do? spend the next minute in a menu scrolling through items while the game is paused.

weapons break so fast and it STILL doesnt auto equip another one so you have to manually do it yourself. and now you also have to fuse the weapon first? because adding more steps to their tedious durability system definitely makes it more fun.

oops your bow broke in the middle of a fight better force you to pause the game and take all the tension out of it so you can scroll through 20 of them trying to find the right one. pausing is fun right?

what a dynamic battle system

and of course i was forced to deal with the fucking stamina system again

im not opposed to stamina systems but link starts off with such a pathetic amount. barely any stamina in a huge world where everything depletes it and your top speed feels like a snail. how did they not fix this?

and yes you can spend hours slowly getting items to upgrade your stamina but like.. i've already done this in botw. it was a chore then why would i wanna do it again? and you need four of the goddamn things to improve your stamina *slightly*, it requires you to sacrifice improving your health, it takes forever and requires a huge amount of commitment just to get to a point where its not a constant annoyance. the stamina pieces dont feel like rewards that improve you; instead it feels like they're punishing you for not having enough of them to start with

seriously tho its ridiculous how much time you have to spend stuck in menus with this game

you still cant just select ingredients in a menu and combine them there; you have to back out, put them in a pot (that you had to light yourself) and hope you dont hit the stick and drop the ingredients on the floor. and why the fuck cant it save my recipes and just let me make multiple dishes in one go? hey why the fuck cant link just auto eat food when i lose health? why do you want me to spend so much time in your cumbersome menu system selecting shit instead of outside it doing the fun stuff?

why do i have to spam a button to pick things up? why cant link just auto pick things up that dont take up inventory space?

why cant i just auto change an entire outfit instead of selecting each bit manually? why cant i save specific outfit combos?

in fact why are so many useful abilities assigned to specific outfits so i am forced to keep entering the goddamn menu to change every time i want to have the highest climbing speed instead of have highest attack? and why does every outfit only have ONE ability?

the complete set bonuses just make this worse. if they didnt exist you'd have less reason to constantly be changing shit because you could mix and match the best abilities into one outfit. like every other RPG in existance already figured out decades ago.

how did they not realise how annoying all this menu shit is in over ELEVEN YEARS of development? how is this the best interface they could come up with?? in ELEVEN YEARS?? its fucking baffling

seriously, every time i think i can get some enjoyment out of it i collide head first into the constant tedium of its poorly designed interface and wonder how the fuck this got a metacritic of 96

[dinoartistry]

How I got these results on my finals without spending hours stu"dying" at my desk.

Now that finals season is over, we almost all recieved our grades and results.

However, sometimes you don't get the results you wanted despite studying for hours and hours on end. It's frustrating and discouraging, right?

Here are my tips on how to get better grades without having to spend all of your free time at your desk! ↓

NB: That doesn't mean that you should stop studying entirely.

Also this is a really long post but you can of course just read the tips that interest you!

1. Be attentive in class. I know it's tempting to just sit down and chat with your friends or stay on your phone, because class can be really boring. However, paying attention to what your teacher says and taking note of everything that might sound useful is a huge step in getting better grades.

Your note-taking doesn't have to be aesthetic. At the beginning of the year I wasted a lot of time making my notes pretty in class, and that made me lose a lot of precious information. You can always rewrite your notes in an aesthetic way later! Re-writing is a great study method too, so it's a win-win. To give you an example, here are the history and theatre history notes I take in class:

They're ugly. And that's okay! If I could score 35 and 50 respectively with these, so can you.

2. Be active in class. Of course, most of the time just listening isn't enough. You need to participate. Teacher asks a question? Raise your hand!

Now, you might be thinking "but what if I don't have the right answer and say something false? Everyone will make fun of me", and to that I will answer, who cares? They're not trying. You're making efforts to absorb the material, they're just sitting there and laughing because they're insecure about their own answers. I'm not making fun of them by saying this, it's just a fact.

3. Ask questions. Just, a bunch of them. If you don't understand the material, or have doubts, ask your teacher! They're not your enemy, even if they might sound dismissive. This year for example, I had a physics teacher who was a PAIN in class. He talked through the lesson super quickly and never really explained anything to anyone. However, there was one time where I didn't understand the material at all, and I went to talk to him. And he took time (like 20 minutes!) to re-explain to me what I hadn't understood.

Teachers are here to help you. Take advantage of it.

4. Research research research! By that I mean, go further! For example, in French class I had to read a book that talked about the genocide in Rwanda. But it was told through a child's eyes, so didn't really talk about what exactly was going on. So, I took it upon myself to take some time to make my own research about it. And guess what? Talking about it improved my grade on that project. In history, make sure you understand the causes and consequences of the historical events you study in class. "Why did it happen?" and "What was its impact on society?" are two questions you must be able to answer at the end of the day.

5. Understand how. This is maths-specific. Take this simple question about arithmetic sequences:

If the first term of a sequence (a1) is 2 and the common difference (d) is 5, what will be the 7th term (an) of that sequence?

It's not enough to know that the result is 32 because that's the answer you got in class. You need to understand the steps you use to get to the result.

Here for example, the formula is:

an = a1 + (n-1) . d

So, here:

a1 = 2, n = 7, d = 5.

The equation becomes :

an = 2 + (7 - 1) . 5

It's now simply a matter of method! 7-1 comes first, so you're left with:

an = 2 + 6 . 5

Then, the multiplication:

an = 2 + 30

And lastly:

an = 32

It's all a matter of taking the time to do things in the right order, one at a time. Think of it like reading a sentence! You can't just read the words in a random order, right? That wouldn't make sense. Read the words in the right order. Calculate in the right order. It's the same thing, I promise (coming from someone who used to hate maths)!

I really like the exam scene in assassination classroom for that reason. The moment the big monster to slay becomes a simple fish to cut because you know from where to start? That's the goal here.

6. Let go. You don't have to be the best of the best all the time. Putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and beating yourself up for not having full marks is doing the exact opposite of what we want here. You're smart, okay? Stressing yourself out does one thing: it turns your brain to mush, making you incapable of remembering information and will make you lose your means when you're faced with a test or an exam. That's what I did for chemistry this year, because I struggle with it, and would you look at that! I got 28. So let go. It's okay, you got this. ⚝

All in all, you're your own best friend. Take care of yourself. Don't put on yourself a pressure you wouldn't put on others. Being too hard on yourself will only end up hurting you, and we don't want that!

[tgirlswagseraphina]

twenty five

The past two years i've done long blog posts for new years, and funnily enough it feels like i've got less to say this time. Thats what i often say before saying a lot, so, lets just see where it takes me.

On new years you can look back or forward. What happened this year? What will i do next year? Ill start with forward. Well I have a new drawing tablet, a new city, a place in university for the next 5 years, crap, that was just, on a small scale, looking back. Cuz you gotta look back to look forward, or rather, look present. What are my circumstances right now and how will i carry them forward? Right now, I've got those things to carry forward. A new place in the world, and an open path towards making art without my hands tied.

I've also got me. The best version of it. The me on 1/1/24 was a fucking shambles, but by god she didnt show it. Actually I think i was alright, the devestation didnt come til like week 2 of janurary. Either way, I've learned a lot in a luckily mostly controlled environment as to not hugely screw me over. This year was the benefits of learning from suffering, with the suffering being held at arm's (or modem's) length. Like setting off grenades on the other side of the room to build slow immunity to shrapnel. Except getting lightly exploded a bunch doesnt actually make you better at not getting hurt by them. Which to me is precisely why this metaphor works.

Anyway, whats fucked about me right now? I'm an addict and a procrastinator, and between the two it makes my life feel like it has 10 functional minutes per waking hour. A problem that I'll have to brute force. Not looking forward to having to get better (havent i done enough of that this year???) but i'm most definitley looking forward to the part at the end where i AM better.

What have I improved, now? My life is less one note, more social, I've refined my pallete of artistic interests, I've opened up more to the idea of Doing Things Right, to the level where I can keep my "unique perspective" or whatver when making stuff, while not being averse to efficiency. The best analogy I have is that I've been working on a comic for the past 4 years (wow 4 years wtf) and this whole time been limiting myself to a colour pallette of about 40. But recently I've dropped this limit cause I'm confident my stuff stands out enough that I don't need to put on arbitrary limitations that screw up my chance to make stuff readable, detailed, or fun as i want, in the name of making a "cool style".

Back on that first bit about being more social, and less one note: I feel like I live in the world now. Thats probably the biggest change for me. I'm not in some narrow slice of other peoples worlds and regress to the cave when I'm off-hours. I exist. Thats brilliant.

I am a human body. Take care of it (said to myself).

I can do whatever. I can take up stitching. I can take up photography. I can buy a hat or a dildo or a sandwich. I can draw a fucking red circle round my guitar. I am a human body. And you're all just livin' in it.

Last year I wrote a bunch of dates and how long its been since movies n games came out, which is like, one way to think about new years. 2023 is thirty years after mega man x? But I was reminded of how I spent a lot of new years evening categorising family and friend birth dates, their respective doctor who era, and what the latest episode at the time was (i was born three days after david tennant's 'doomsday' for those interested). It made me think: man. this autism brained media consumption and categorisation is easy to shun. But as long as I do it in conjuction with Humaning and Being Alive, its what I should do. Its what my mind likes and my soul calls to. Sometimes i just wanna watch telly, read wikis, and write brain-spreadsheets about it. It can be analytical and avoiding artistic engagement but screw that. I can artistically engage. I do it all the fucking time. Let my brain make a graph of release dates. Its who I am. That was a fun non sequiter tangent. But if you're me (which I am) you'll know it was pretty important to the whole thing.

Also i found out i was a system this year thats sure somethin huh.

All in all i feel really good about this year's blogpost. Now, I'll read the others, reminisse, look forward, then sleep. And leave the reading of this to all of you. Nighty night fellas, ladies, and the ppl who dont giv a fuck. Peace out.

o-<)/

<3

[gordonhasthoughts]

Like the other two loops, the Roslyn Loop (RosLoop) was built during the scientific boom of the 1970s. It brought a huge influx of workers to the previous mining town to build, then staff the particle collider for specific research. Roslyn was chosen for a few reasons. Washington was no stranger to cutting edge nuclear research, and many of the scientists that had been working at the Hanford Site moved to this installation as a career opportunity. 

Furthermore, the already hollow ground of the Coal mines provided an easy opportunity for a number of booster rings to be constructed for the high energy research needed. 

The influx of the scientists brought a want to make families. Some families had already lived in Roslyn before the loop, now they are about equal in number. 

Roslyn is also interesting given its distance from both a major Magnetrine Highway, as well as the cascade mountains and greater forest area. 

The city is just over a mile in diameter, with the loop sitting just northwest of the town’s edge, making it great to access many of the amenities by bike, or even by foot. 

The summers are warm, but not hot, and many Kids on break will bike to the local town of Cle Elum, just a 15 minute ride down the coal mine trail, right on the yakima river to swim and play on the rocky shores. 

Adults will most likely be found at 'The Brick' or 'Mako’s Place' for drinks on off hours, or bumming around the Northwest Improvement Co. general goods store.

Also in town is a newly opened video and home computing equipment retailer named CompuTech in response to the growing demand from the tech-savvy scientists. This also was coupled with the opening of Silver Rocket Electronics consignment for various second hand oscilloscopes and other test equipment, but sometimes through the rubble extraordinary things could be found. Also downtown is Basecamp Books, a bookstore. There is a small medical clinic downtown, but more serious injuries may need to be treated at the Cle Elum Hospital 20 minutes bike, 5 mins car ride away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

mystery ideas:

A kid wakes up, he was in a coma for 8 years but hasnt aged a day

Rogue robot is destroying crops between cle elum and roslyn 

In the back of the Silver Rocket, you find

A watch that counts backwards

2. A strange blinking device that freezes time while you are touching it 

3. A tv screen that displays impossible footage from the past 

For some reason, all the fridges in town stop working 

You find a rock on the beach. When you take it home, the radio, microwave, and tv all start malfunctioning. Your parents blame you for it.

[garrulousastrology]

Final Project for Astrophotography

On April 24, 2024 I had a poster due that required me to pair with a classmate and speak about our Astrophotography course, and how we improved as time passed. Also on this poster, we included the final results of the photos that we edited of space through Gimp and Maxim DL, along with a brief explanation on how to use these applications.

(these photos were brightened for printing purposes)

The photos that we edited for this final poster consisted of the Crab Nebula, the Orion Nebula, and the Butterfly Galaxies. The Crab Nebula progress has been documented on my tumblr page throughout its progress, however the Butterfly Galaxies and the Orion Nebula were worked on behind the scenes. I used the same process as the Crab Nebula for these pictures (using GIMP curve settings and many different blur and enhancement filters) and in my opinion the Butterfly Galaxy turned out the best. The reason I believe it turned out the best is because of the many different colors that got exposed, and you can see a clear picture of the two separate galaxies.

As the day of the final project approached, I was not really that nervous to present. I did some research on the event itself and it turns out I did not have to speak in front of a huge crowd like I expected. The StARS (Student Arts and Research Symposium) event is where students can create posters and hang up on a corkboard wall (with pins), and teachers and students will walk up and just ask questions about it. It did seem like a nerve racking experience and I expected the time to fly. As Andrew (my partner for the project) and I created our poster, we had to look for the printing department at Bridgewater State University. We were lost at first as we were looking through the bottom floor of Tillinghast hall. We found another classmate also looking for the Copy Center, so she joined us in our adventure for it. Eventually we asked the people in the mail room where it was and it turns out it was only accessible from the outside. We received our poster almost immediately after entering and we were on our way to the ballroom in the Rondileau Student Union. We waited for what felt like hours (it was 15 minutes), before we were finally able to sign in and enter the ballroom to hang up our poster. Using the email Jamie Kern (our professor) assigned to us, we correlated that number to where we were supposed to hang up our poster. As it turns out, the placement numbers were updated, and we had to move to make way for a different poster and we had to move. This is where a catastrophic event happened. I was paying little attention to my partner's lack of awareness to the movement of the poster. As I removed the pins, my partner decided not to move his side of the poster, so the poster fell and we got a rip in the middle of the poster. It was not very glaring, and no one asked about it, but Andrew made a very big deal out of it. If anything, I believed it added character. Our poster was finally up in the right spot and the StARS event was underway. What felt like right from the start, we already had two people from the event asking us about our poster. We were in the center of the room and it felt like everyone was glaring at us because of our poster and how it was subpar in comparison to the others. After explaining what was on the poster and primarily focusing on how we got our results, there were many questions that people decided to ask. After what felt like forever, the first two people who seemed to be a part of the event and taking notes about each post had finally gone and we had a smooth road ahead of us finally.

A smooth road was not ahead. In fact, we hit a major obstacle which was my current math teacher. She was at the event and looking around to see all the work that students had been creating. She recognized me because of the active classroom that she hosts that same day and came over to talk to me. We then went on to explain what we did just like we did with the last person, however she had more technical questions than anyone else. One major issue we saw was she knew about measuring wavelengths in a telescope, which can help depict was colors are going to be used in photography, and she thought that was part of what we were learning, however we had never heard of this technology. We just had different layers of colors and we were trying to adjust the brightness and saturation of each of these to make the image work. Luckily, our mentor Jamie Kern came around and told our math teacher that she had never even heard of what she was talking about. It was definitely an interesting topic; however it is not what was in our lesson plan at all. 

To round out the rest of the event, a couple other students and a physics professor came over to our group and just asked what it was about. The physics professor was looking more towards the Butterfly Galaxies and wondered how the galaxies were going to come together and what the physics behind it are. Many BSU students came over and asked a couple questions too, and they were also easy customers. 

Overall, the event was fun. I learned a lot about the event and wonder if I will participate in the StARS event again for another class. There are many different students from many different majors so it will be cool to do something like this again for another class. 

[govindhtech]

Experience Superiority: Realme Narzo 70 Takes the Stage

Realme Narzo 70

Supercharged from the inside out

With a 2.6GHz CPU, A78 core, 6nm technology, and MediaTek Dimensity 7050 5G chipset, you can expect reliable, seamless 5G performance.

Over 590,000 Benchmark for AnTuTu

CPU4 (34.7%)

GPU4 + 82.7%

Bluetooth & WiFi Acceleration

Reduces Bluetooth and Wi-Fi interference when supported by WiFi 6.

Accelerating 5G Speed

Realme gadget is future-proof since it guarantees your access to 5G internet.

Up to 2.77Gbps of potential download speeds on 5G with Dual CA Tech support

The VC Cooling System

By using a 4356mm VC Cooling System to cover the motherboard’s primary heat sources, you may significantly increase the effectiveness of heat dissipation and have a more enjoyable gaming experience while remaining cool under pressure.

Super AMOLED 120Hz Display in Realme Narzo 70

Huge meets elegant

Take advantage of sharper visuals, brighter screen, and smoother scrolling. With its amazing 5,000,000:1 contrast ratio and fast refresh rate of 120Hz, the Samsung Super AMOLED display raises the bar for screen quality and provides an upscale viewing experience with integrated eye protection.

120 hertz refresh rate

A screen brightness of 1200 nits

Touch Sampling Rate at 2200Hz

Screen-to-body Ratio: 92.65%; 2400 x 1080

5,000,000:1 Contrast Ratio in FHD+ Resolution

Rainwater Intelligent Touch in Realme Narzo 70

Dependable touch engagement, even when using damp palms or a damp screen. In the downpour, unlock your phone, take calls, and input your password.

3D fingerprint scanner on-display

Faster, safer, and more dependable fingerprint unlocking. The In-display 3D Fingerprint Scanner outperforms standard fingerprint unlocking in terms of reliability, especially in conditions where fingers are dry, intense light is present, and low temperatures. You can also use it to make safe payments because of the extra security features.

Charge per minute or hour

SUPERVOOC 45W Charge

45W rapid charge opens up next-level charging speeds. And use the large 5000mAh battery to enjoy all of your favourite entertainment.

Encourage Reverse Charging

SUPERVOOC 4SW

Large 5000mAh Battery

In ten minutes, charge from 0% to 21%

Two textures, one body. Horizontal Design

Motivated by the dusk-time horizon

A pure manifestation of beauty seen in nature. With a pattern that perfectly reflects the splendour of the sun’s golden hour above the horizon, captivate the imagination. A view of nature caught with mathematical perfection is created when the mellow glow of the sun combines with a perfectly positioned horizon.

Flawless feel in the hand

A huge 5000mAh battery is housed inside a phone that fits flawlessly in the hand thanks to its ultra-thin 7.97mm frame and C-angled side design.The 8GB+8GB dynamic RAM’s efficiency.

128GB of storage freedom

There’s enough power for a seamless gaming experience with up to 8GB of RAM built in and an additional 8GB of dynamic memory made available with DRE technology. Additionally, having 128GB of RAM gives you extreme piece of mind and lets you store all of your most treasured images, movies, and games on your phone.

Smooth and silky multitasking

Designed for Gaming

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IP54 Water and Dust Resistance

48-month certification for fluency

Two stereo speakers

You can immerse yourself in the action with dual speakers, which provide a richer and more immersive gaming and music experience.

System of Antenna Array Matrix

Wireless Burst 2.0 DAT Smart Antenna Technology on the New E-Game Network

50 Megapixel Colour Al Camera

The 50MP Mode dramatically improves image quality, allowing for the accurate capture of minute details in intricate landscapes and structures. Your moments will be vividly brought to life with its segment-leading Al-powered photography software, which guarantees brilliant colours and perfectly balanced lighting.

A 2 Megapixel Portrait Lens

For better portraiture, the bokeh effect is enhanced by the portrait camera.

16 Megapixel Selfie Lens

Dependable picture quality front to back. Savour crisper selfies and video conversations with enhanced details to maintain your attractive appearance.

Realme UI Version 5.0

Intelligent Code Reader

Scan codes with greater ease than before. Just pressing the back cover of your phone will activate Smart Code Scan and use your rear camera to quickly scan codes. Scan QR codes with merely a tap thanks to they algorithms for knock detection and QR code identification.

Personalised Brightness

Depending on your tastes, choose your own minimum screen brightness. You can have a more aesthetically pleasing viewing experience in low light conditions with an auto-brightness level as low as 1 nit.

Smooth communication.2.0 Mini Capsule

The next generation of interactivity is the Mini Capsule 2.0. You may now engage directly with your notifications, offering next-level management for genuinely seamless operation, thanks to new and improved capabilities.

Realme Narzo 70 features

The Fastest Phone Under $15,000 is the Realme NARZO 70 .

Chipset Dimensity: 7050

7050 Dimensity 6nm Chipset

AMOLED Display with MediaTek Dimensity 7050 at 120 Hz

8GB + 8GB Dynamic RAM at max.

50 Megapixel Colour Al Camera

Horizon Design Light Body, 188g

5000mAh Large Capacity 45W SUPERVOOC Charge Battery

iQoo Z9

BEST PERFORMANCE

MediaTek 7200 5G

For multitaskers who wish to stand out, MediaTek Dimensity 7200 chipset offers the best performance and power efficiency at 2.8 GHz. Exceptional gaming and multitasking performance from a powerful and speedy CPU.

Next generation TSMC 4 nm process

734,924 AnTuTu Score

2.8 GHz Clock Speed

5G Dual SIM | WiFi 6 Incredible 5G Speed

Extended RA Demonstrates Multitasking

Display your A game with up to 27 active apps in the background with 8 GB Extended RAM. Large Storage: 256 GB

Extra Memory Space

With 256 GB storage, iQOO Z9 lets you keep more memories because they know how important they are.

Big 5000 mAh battery

All-day Charge

Life moves quickly, and taking a break can cause FOMO. A massive 5000 mAh3 battery powers you all day.

67.78 hrs 5

Music Playback: 5.94 hrs(5)

Gameplay: 17.52 hours 5

Social Media 17.37 hrs 5

UNMATCHED FUN

120 Hz Ultra-Bright AMOLED Display

Bright, Clear Display

With SGS certified Eye Care Display, the gorgeous AMOLED display provides 1800 nits of local peak brightness for clear outdoor visibility in bright daylight or at night.

1800 nits Local Peak Brightness

6.67″ large screen

6000000 : 1 in contrast ratio

SGS Eye Care Display

91.9 % Screen-to-Body Ratio

Video Playback with HDR Support

DT-Star2 Plus: Glass Protection, 120Hz, High Refresh Rate.

Gaming Immersion

1200 Hz instant touch sampling

Increase your gaming experience with faster touch responsiveness and reduced latency, giving you an edge in battle.

4D Game Vibration

Experience lifelike gaming with 4D Game Vibration. Experience greater joy with each kill shot thanks to the vibration motor and algorithm.

Motion control

With motion control, formerly impossible actions can now be performed with two or four fingers.In Ultra Game Mode, there are 6 motion control options.

Dual stereo speakers

With Hi-Res audio compatibility, twin stereo speakers provide a cinematic experience with enhanced sound quality and a more dimensional and robust effect. Experience the movie’s ambiance, emotions, and subtle movements and emotional transformations of each character.

Design to Stand Out

Brushed Green

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Graphene Blue

The name Graphene Blue represents power, elegance, and a commitment to remaining ahead of the curve.

Read more on Govindhtech.com

[mrm101]

Update: 11:54GMT Propellent loading has begun, takes about one hour 32 minutes, Launch scheduled at 01:00GMT with 20 minute launch window.

Launch of Starship IFT-2 or Starship 259 today at 01:00GMT, or that is the beginning of the launch window. As on the first test flight the plan is, should the vehicle survive, to splashdown both the booster and the ship after separation. The booster will conduct a powered splashdown in the Gulf of Mexico and the Ship will impact the sea off the Marshall Islands in Hawaii, it won't attempt a powered touchdown the flip manoeuvre for landing, it will just crash and be destroyed at that speed.

Currently (11:00) the propellent lines are chilling down in preparation for propellent loading to begin.

Since the first launch the design of the booster has been changed and the launch pad has been extensively modified after it was repaired. Most significantly a water deluge system has been added to the launch complex. Instead of using gravity to accelerate the flow of water (dropping it from a huge water tower into ever smaller pipes) this system pressurises the water using high pressure nitrogen gas feed into seven horizontal storage tanks behind the launch tower where the water is stored. This water is then pushed via two giant underground pipelines to the launch mount and then into manifolds which force the water between metal plates directly under the launch mount and then upward through many relatively small angled holes on the uppermost plate like an upturned shower head. The angled flow of the water is designed to deflect the rocket exhaust sideways away from the base of the launch mount (something done by metal flame deflectors and extensive concrete flame trenches at other launch sites), this is why SpaceX calls the system a flame defector rather than a water deluge system, most of the water is vaporised absorbing energy from the rocket exhaust in the process. Some of the remaining water is collected in a new long retention pool alongside the launch tower. There is also a sprinkler system which sprays a mixture of nitrogen and water directly under the base of the launch platform, the FireX system, designed to inhibit any ignition of any residual unburnt propellent leaked from the engines during start-up, but this was also in place for the first launch in April.

The design of Booster 9 has many improvements over that of Booster 7 used on the first test launch in April (Booster 8, a twin of Booster 7, has been scrapped). The centre 13 engines now have a Thrust vector Control (TVC) steering system with the actuators for that powered by electric motors instead of hydraulics. This means the gas powered turbo pump needed to pressurise they hydraulics is not needed and the gas generator, called the Auxiliary Power Unit (APU) is nor needed. These were housed two large square fairings at the base of the booster, these have now gone, instead Booster 9 has longer chines, four of them, the long triangular section stakes up the side of the booster, which house the batteries for the electric TVC as well as CO2 purge tanks and Nitrogen tanks for the start, spin up, of the 13 inner engines. Chines are a cross between fins and wings in aerospace terminology and they do provide some lift.

Another change is the addition of an adapter, a skirt at the top of the booster, with vents in it. This is the hot stage adapter ring, it will allow the Ship to ignite its engines, venting out of the holes, whilst still briefly attached to the booster. The booster will still be using its three centre engines at that point but throttled down. This means the Ship does not have to coast before starting its engines and so is under acceleration all the time. The adapter also includes a heat shield deflector to protect the booster during the hot staging. The adapter adds and extra 1.8m ((6ft) to the height of the booster so the Ship umbilical on the tower has had to be raised to reach the ship Quick Disconnect (QD) plate. 

The engines have improved shielding around and between them and also a new CO2 purge system which will feed into the engine bay to suppress any fires during launch and flight, the CO2 is supplied from tanks in the chines and vents through a ring of holes around the base of the booster.

SpaceX coverage from T-30 minutes (that might only be on Twitter/X) but live feed and commentary all morning from NSF or LaPadre... (Pic: SpaceX)

[naamahdarling]

Agree on that. I've been the person to point out issues, myself, and have a couple of times gotten things changed, so it is worth trying. The things they fixed were small, but one of them, for example, could very well have meant the difference between someone abandoning care at my psych clinic, or being kicked down a rung or two in eating disorder recovery. That isn't nothing.

I had another person call me after a polite but pointed message about language and policies and problem behaviors that excluded and possibly (however remotely) could have endangered queer people (it is not safe to yell someone's deadname when they pass), and was told why some of it was that way, that they were already fixing the charting issues that led to the names and identity stuff and that those things were in fact a HUGE part of the switch, and that they were appropriately displeased by the deadname thing, and was there anything else that I thought they could improve. It was a remarkable 30 minute conversation that WENT somewhere, and 90% of what we talked about was addressed. The rest is shitty charting software, and the thing they upgraded TO was way better so...satisfactory.

I felt a lot better after that. It pays to speak up, it pays to do patient surveys.

So it is unusual and genuinely encouraging that they tried to set up a meeting with you, and I am seeing that more and more. Still not common, but it is encouraging.

In the case of this particular public transit issue, it's mostly that my area simply does not invest in it enough. The people in charge know it sucks, and either don't care, or they DO care but are fighting against the people who do not, or against lack of funds. Previous not giving a shit, as you pointed out, resulted in a lack of accessible stops, BUT, as road repair is done, some improvement is made to the stops there. So SOME of a shit is being given. That is hopeful.

The rest is specifically about my city's public transit, USA-centric, under a cut, long.

Now, I'll say this about getting around in this city, over and above the main city bus service. There ARE things in place to help disadvantaged people. There's just constraints.

Medicaid here will drive you anywhere you need to be if it is a Medicaid appointment. You have to schedule in advance, then call for pickup when you are done, at which point they will get you as soon as they can. They go door to door which is amazing. They will take you over long distances and pay for lodging if you need that and qualify. They will only take you to and pick you up from the appointment location. It is a great program, in theory. I haven't used it yet, but it will probably be how I get to future PT appointments. I just made a mistake about the three days thing this time and thought it was two.

ALSO, to their credit, public transit has very recently instituted a microtransit thing to address the long waits at bus stops. The city is divided into zones, and you can schedule for pickup and be taken to any stop along the existing bus route within your zone for $2. There are multiple places they will drive you outside your zone as well, including other hubs, the community college, the Goodwill store, the health department, the big wonderful community park, and the zoo. The HUGE DRAWBACK is that they do not start or stop anywhere but existing public transit bus stops within your zone. You still have to be able to get to the closest stop. The nearest one to me is half an hour away. It gets over 110° for days at a time here. The stops are seldom sheltered, only occasionally have seating, and wheelchair access is crap, and there are not even signs at all of the stops at all. Why? Who knows.

The local Family and Children's Services has its own transit that will take you from anywhere in the service area to any of their locations or vice versa. It provides a tremendous number of services to the poor. Speaking from experience as a client, those services are absolute dogshit but they are better than nothing. The transport has to be scheduled in advance by a social worker, so you have to have one. There is only one vehicle.

I'm sure other places provide services like this, I just don't know about them.

So people are TRYING to fix things, but there are severe restrictions to each method. It's still inaccessible to most people for most purposes.

The state of our main public transit is an astonishing disgrace, and it doesn't have to be. I do appreciate what they have done. The level of inadequacy is still such that I hold them in contempt.

Cannot believe that it would take two hours, 30 minutes of which are spent walking, to get from my house to the physical therapy clinic on public transit and 13 minutes by car, with construction backups. Except I can believe that. Totally. Because our public transit is a fucking disgrace.

Even if I was willing to take two hours to get somewhere, I can't walk for half an hour so I can get to physical therapy for my fucked up ankles. That's insane.

No, not everyone has "the same 24 hours" and no, we don't need to make cars harder to get or more expensive to run.

When people talk about how it's harder for poor people to access medical care, this is part of it too.

Also, if you can't get to something like PT for pain relief, which your doctor wants to try before meds that actually help...wouldn't buying painkillers off the street seem a lot more reasonable? Like maybe it would be the only option?

I'm not in that situation but boy is it real.

[sohelfixx]

The Future of Energy Storage: Innovations in Batteries and Grid Storage

Innovations in Batteries Energy storage has long been used to store electricity when it’s available, allowing utilities to turn on or off generation facilities to match supply and demand. However, the future of storage has moved beyond that. The ability to store electricity for long periods, rather than a few hours, could make batteries competitive with other technologies for grid integration.

The future of storage is being driven by several factors, including the accelerated transition to renewable energy sources and a growing movement toward sustainability and decarbonization. But there are also key policy and regulatory challenges to overcome.

One of the most important barriers to grid-scale batteries is their high capital costs. Despite these challenges, lithium-ion batteries are now cost-competitive with other storage technologies and are making major advances in battery performance.

Those advancements are accelerating the growth of battery storage systems, which help integrate more renewable energy resources and smooth out energy demand. They also reduce the need for expensive, polluting peak power plants.

This means more reliable and cleaner energy, as well as lower greenhouse gas emissions. It also helps the electricity grid adapt to new, evolving fuel technology has change over the year infrastructures and distributed energy sources, such as solar and wind, and the electrification of transportation, buildings and industry.

These advances are paving the way for an era of electricity delivery that is more responsive to volatility and flexibility. This requires new technology that can decouple legacy dependencies and increase the agility of the grid.

In order to do this, energy storage systems need to be able to hold huge amounts of power for extended periods of time, ranging from minutes to days or even weeks. This allows for greater capacity of energy resources on the grid, which in turn can help to smooth out demand and reduce prices for consumers.

According to the International Energy Association, 266 GW of storage will be needed by 2030 to keep global temperatures below 2 degrees Celsius, and more than 942 GW will need to be deployed over the next two decades. This will require significant investment in the infrastructure and technology necessary to develop, deploy and manage these systems.

As with any new technology, the early adoption and deployment of energy storage is critical to web technology ensuring the success of its use. This includes ensuring the availability of informative data for business operations and identifying suitable applications and operational scenarios to take advantage of the commercial benefits.

While the energy storage market has grown rapidly over the past few years, it is still at a relatively early stage. Nevertheless, a number of innovations in batteries and grid storage are being developed that are set to change the future of energy in this country and around the world.

First, electric vehicles and the related manufacturing economies of scale are driving cost and performance improvements in batteries for large-scale industrial applications. This trend is expected to continue into the 2020s and beyond.

Second, battery-based systems are enabling the use of intelligent energy management tools, combining battery storage with software to deliver advanced energy consumption management. This technology enables businesses to manage their energy usage more efficiently, helping them to save money and avoid costly blackouts.

[olko71]

New Post has been published on All about business online

New Post has been published on http://yaroreviews.info/2023/01/amazon-strikes-workers-claim-their-toilet-breaks-are-timed

Amazon strikes: Workers claim their toilet breaks are timed

By Dearbail Jordan & Zoe Conway

BBC business reporter & BBC employment correspondent

Amazon workers are staging the first ever UK strike on Wednesday against the online giant in a protest over pay.

Around 300 staff walked out at Amazon’s Coventry warehouse, the GMB union said, over what they called a “derisory” 5% pay rise to £10.50 an hour.

Workers told the BBC about “severe” conditions, claiming they are constantly monitored and upbraided for “idle time” lasting just a few minutes.

Amazon said it has a system “that recognises great performance”.

A spokesman said it “also encourages coaching to help employees improve if they are not meeting their performance goals”.

Two Amazon workers, who are members of the GMB, said the robots in the warehouse “are treated better than us”.

Darren Westwood and Garfield Hilton described to the BBC how even a trip to the toilet can lead to questions by managers.

“The thing with stopping work is that they want to know why,” said Mr Hilton. “So if the time is beyond a couple of minutes they can see it on the system.”

‘They will question you’

Mr Hilton, who has diabetes, said it is not always possible to find toilets close by in the building and the process of locating one and returning can sometimes take upwards of 15 minutes.

“They will then question you, ‘what were you doing?'”

The men said that managers track staff performance, and time that is not spent scanning items is accrued.

Workers at the Coventry warehouse scan stock which is sent out to Amazon fulfilment centres, to be shipped to consumers.

Instead of scanning, workers might be asked to handle pallets. “So when there’s problems with a pallet or a box, that time will accrue,” said Mr Westwood.

“Technically it could add up to 30 minutes. [The managers] will come down and say, ‘during today, you’ve had 34 minutes of idle time. What were you doing?”

A spokesman for Amazon said: “Performance is only measured when an employee is at their station and logged in to do their job.

“If an employee logs out, which they can do at any time, the performance management tool is paused.”

But Mr Westwood and Mr Hilton said some colleagues were working 60-hour weeks to keep up with the cost of living.

Amazon to axe 18,000 jobs as it cuts costs

New Amazon centre would create 1,400 jobs

Mr Hilton said that he has seen workers falling asleep on the short bus ride to Amazon’s warehouse. “There’s a huge amount of them in the building virtually in ghost mode.”

He said Amazon wants “every minute in that building to be maximised”.

“You have to look at it this way, if the box with the product is not moving, you’re not making money. This is Amazon. If there’s a problem with a box, it’s a loss-maker. If the box leaves a building it is making money.”

In August, Amazon offered UK workers a 5% payrise, which was worth 50p outside London and the South East.

Inflation, the rate at which prices rise, is at a 40-year high, putting pressure on household budgets.

Bogdan, who is 29, has worked for Amazon since 2015. He said after workers put their health at risk to work during the height of the pandemic, the pay offer “insulted” staff.

He said one reason for striking was the public needed to “understand what is going on” behind the scenes every time they make an order.

He claimed Amazon portrayed an image that “everything is fine”, but he added: “It’s actually not true.”

Getty Images

An Amazon spokesman said it was “proud” of its “competitive” pay rates. He said the starting pay for workers was £11.45 an hour in London and the South East, and £10.50 an hour in the rest of the UK.

He said this marked a 29% increase in the minimum hourly wage paid to Amazon employees since 2018.

But union members want to be paid £15 an hour. Mr Westwood said the 50p offer was “a smack in the mouth”.

“These people had worked two years through the pandemic, that had seen Amazon’s shares go through the roof. They had seen the profits just become unimaginable,” he said.

Amanda Gearing, a senior GMB union organiser, told the BBC’s Today programme that Wednesday’s strike action would have a “massive impact” on the Coventry warehouse.

‘Only the start’

Of the 1,500 workers at Amazon’s Coventry site, around 300 will walk out, the union says.

“Coventry might be the start [of the strikes], but it won’t be the finish,” Ms Gearing said from the picket line. “We know there are workers in other centres that feel exactly the same.”

She added: “People are having to choose between heating their homes and… eating really, so it’s not good enough, not from someone like Amazon that’s got billions and billions of pounds of profit during the pandemic.”

Amazon’s global sales and profits soared as Covid restrictions forced people to shop online. Between 2019 and 2020, profits nearly doubled to $21.3bn (£17.2bn) and rose again the following year to $33.3bn.

Growth has been uneven since economies have reopened and after taking on thousands of staff since 2019, Amazon is now laying off 18,000 workers worldwide.

Mr Westwood said “people might think we’re being greedy” by asking for £15 an hour. But he pointed to Jeff Bezos, Amazon’s founder, executive chairman and space adventurer, who has a $120bn fortune according to Forbes magazine.

“We don’t want his boat or his rockets,” said Mr Westwood. “We just want to be able to live. I just want to be able to pay my bills at the end of the week. That’s all we’re asking for.”

Getty Images

Amazon said a “tiny proportion” of its workforce was involved in the industrial action. It said “only a fraction of 1%” of its UK employees voted in the ballot, which included those who voted against industrial action.

But Mr Westwood said the numbers were “brilliant”. Amazon does not recognise unions but, according to the GMB, there are members scattered throughout the UK in varying numbers.

Amazon has been battling against unionisation in the US.

More than half of the 8,000 workers at a warehouse on Staten Island, New York, voted to join the Amazon Labor Union which has now been officially certified. However, the company has vowed to appeal the certification.

Mr Westwood said there was a huge range of different nationalities who work at Coventry. “They don’t understand this is the UK – we can organise a union, we can protest, we can withdraw our labour,” he added.

“[Our workers] need someone. I know it’s going to be a long slog, but these people need someone who’s not frightened. And I’m not frightened.”

Are you an Amazon worker who is striking? Are you a customer affected? Share your experiences by emailing haveyoursay@bbc.co.uk.

Please include a contact number if you are willing to speak to a BBC journalist. You can also get in touch in the following ways:

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If you are reading this page and can’t see the form you will need to visit the mobile version of the BBC website to submit your question or comment or you can email us at HaveYourSay@bbc.co.uk. Please include your name, age and location with any submission.

More on this story

Amazon union fight continues despite workers’ win

1 day ago

Amazon to axe 18,000 jobs as it cuts costs

5 January

New Amazon centre would create 1,400 jobs

12 January

[thefirstknife]

Hot take but I'm enjoying the new matchmaking in Control and anyone who says otherwise is an elitist, I'm gonna die on this hill

I am a huge proponent of skill based matchmaking and hated when they announced its removal (in Arrivals). Crucible matchmaking was miserable for me from then until now, so I'm on board with this absolutely.

Today's TWAB also had some interesting statistics about the first week of skill based matchmaking being in Control:

In the first week of Season of Plunder, 140,000 more hours of Control had been played than in the first week of Season of the Haunted, and we had around an 11% increase in the total number of players playing Control. 

This is self evident, but clearly people play more Crucible (and they play more of it) when they aren't absolutely miserable in it. If Crucible is not geared towards the average player, the player pool will be too low and that is not sustainable for a healthy pvp experience. Average players are by far the biggest population of players.

Overall, our average matchmaking times went up by an average of 5 to 10 seconds. That's a good indication that the matching is generally working but isn't showing our worst cases—the lower population segments (extreme low and high skill). 

For the highest skill band, less than 0.1% of the population, matchmaking times average around 90 seconds during high population times, spiking to just over 200 seconds at low population times. For the lowest skill band, we see matchmaking times between 120 seconds at best and 240 seconds at worst. 

Obviously this increased matchmaking time, but the increase is negligible on average. It gets "high" only for 0.1% of the population on either end of the spectrum which, as frustrating as that may be for the 0.1% of the players, it's not something that should dictate how the other 99.9% play. At worst, the matchmaking time was 4 minutes, for the lowest skill bracket. This is far from a huge disaster people like to make it out to be (I've played games where matchmaking could be 20 minutes on average).

The skill differences we see in Control matches are pretty stark. Without SBMM, only 10% of matches had 600 or less skill difference between the highest and lowest players. With SBMM on, we see that 80% of games have that separation or less.

If you ever think you're making things up or elitists gaslight you, they are wrong. This isn't the first time they showed how much difference there is between skill. Games are now provably and evidently more uniform in terms of who you play with and who you play against. It should be extremely rare to get into a lobby with someone vastly above you or below you in skill. Which is how it should be. Huge skill difference between players in a single lobby has always felt bad in either direction for me: I don't like being stomped and I don't like stomping others. I would rather sit in menus matchmaking for 2 minutes instead of loading into a match that ends just as quickly and that makes me feel miserable.

If your games seem more balanced, it's because they are. If they felt horribly balanced before, it's because they were.

Mercy games are down 4%. Not as much as we had hoped, but it has been shrinking a little day by day. 

Also interesting! They added some extra info about this which is also cool to explore, but basically there is less mercy games and they expect that to go lower still.

As far as score and kill differences, we see a similar set of incremental improvements. Games where the best player had 30+ kills more than the worst player went from 9% of games to 2%. Games where the best player had only 10 to 19 more kills than the worst player went from 35% of games to 55%. 

Another good piece of info that makes me feel less like I've just been insane for 2 years and angry about elitists trying to convince me that I am insane. Clearly I am not (or rather, I am not insane about this at least). I was sick and tired of games like this. Where two people in the lobby on each team are duking it out and I'm basically an NPC on the field with 3 kills because I die as soon as I spawn so the top players can have 57 kills.

We have seen one worrying trend in the data: the percentage of players quitting before the end of the match has risen from 8% to 12% in the last week. This is especially bad with matches designed to be balanced with 12 equally skilled players. We are still investigating to see if this is localized to a specific cohort or playstyle, or if this is a natural player reaction to a new system. This percentage  may reduce over time. Stay tuned!  

Finally, this piece of info. Bungie is obviously still investigating this and the most logical reason for this situation is now that connection based matchmaking is gone, people may be getting disconnected or may be leaving if their match is laggy.

However, my first thought (and one of Bungie's thoughts!) was that people are leaving games because they don't want to bother playing if they can't stomp new lights in Control. I genuinely think this and I will continue to believe that is the primary reason for leavers, due to my extensive experience with other competitive pvp games and modes, until Bungie proves me otherwise. People who are used to getting everything they want and stomping over lower skilled players get VERY upset when that is taken from them and when they have to play against people of their own skill level and be faced with the reality that maybe they just aren't that good and were just shooting fish in a barrel. These people tend to be the most salty leavers I have ever seen in any video game. I do honestly believe this accounts for most people leaving matches.

Got a bit long, but your ask was a nice opportunity to dive into some of this from the TWAB! Hopefully things get better and better as we go forward.

[blu-joons]

DATING NCT A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Mark Lee

A ⇴ AFFECTION 

His favourite kind of affection was when you’d have your hands in his hair. He loved to feel your hands brush though his soft locks and pull him a little bit closer whenever you needed him to be right there for you.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING 

When the two of you first met, Mark was very awkward, he didn’t have the slightest clue of what he wanted to say to you. He could barely string a sentence together until one of the members called him out to start with at least a hello and introduce himself, and from there, you loved to tease him about it ever since.  

C ⇴ CONFESSION 

It didn’t take Mark long at all to know that you were the one that he wanted. He was far too shy to confess in person, so he sent you a demo of a song that he would have written just for you, leaving it until the very last minute to let you know how he felt. When he saw your name flash up on his phone he panicked, only to see that you’d text him and begged him to let you in and get you out of the cold to be with him.

D ⇴ DATES 

You knew just how dedicated Mark was to his work, so you’d often end up surprising him on those late nights with dates set up in the studio for you. You also knew that Mark was a terrible cook, so as long as you showed up with a bag of takeout in hand, then you were going to be safe for the night. He’d spend all night long telling you about his projects, whilst he always worried that you’d think he was bragging, all you see was a hard working and passionate guy who loved his job, and you.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE 

Mark had seen plenty of other people in love, but never himself before. He always had an idea of the type of boyfriend he’d be, and whilst he was the first to admit that he wasn’t perfect, he was determined in making his first experience of love his last too. He wanted to always be the one that would be there for you from the moment that he met you, just as long as you were willing to help him learn along the way. Day by day, he knew he was getting better at being a boyfriend, and that was all that mattered to him.

F ⇴ FIGHTING 

Neither of you were fond of arguments, but you were human too, and appreciated that they were just a part of being in a relationship. Whenever the two of you argued, one of you would always walk away before things got too bad, you were both very good at minding your tempers. Usually, after an hour or two the person who walked out would return so that the two of you could talk things through with each other and nip the problem in the bud before it became too big a hurdle for you to jump over. Major arguments were definitely a problem when the two of you were already so shy.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY 

He often joked about his family got in contact with him a lot more since you’d came into his life. He loved to tease you and let you know that you were the favourite in his family’s eyes because they got in with you so well and always asked after you whenever Mark was on a call by himself.

H ⇴ HOME 

Rooming with a manager definitely had its perks for Mark, he always gave the two of you space you needed in the dorm. Therefore he was a little reluctant to move out of the dorms and in with you, he wanted to wait a little while and see the direction his career took first, and also make sure his other members were alright.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU” 

He was the first one to say, “I love you,” when you surprised him with a Canadian Day after you heard him talking about how much he missed home. Seeing the effort that you went to in order to put a smile back on his face meant the absolute world to him, and he couldn’t repay the favour in any other way then finally letting you know that he loved you.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY 

Mark tended to doubt himself a lot, which would lead to a bit of jealousy at times. You’d often have to reassure him not to get jealous of anyone, you loved talking to people, but if you ever left his side at an event then he’d definitely begin to worry. No matter how many times you told him not to get jealous, you knew that he’d never a listen. It was a feeling that he just couldn’t get rid of, no matter how hard he wanted to. He knew he never really had a reason to get jealous, but that didn’t stop him feeling the way that he did.

K ⇴ KIDS 

If there was one thing Mark definitely saw in his future, it was kids. He very much had an ideal plan of what his life would like in years to come, he’d even picked out the perfect age to start a family. Whilst he never told you about his future plans, just in case he pressurised you, you were very much aware of just how valuable and important having a family was to him and how keen he was to start one in the future with you.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER 

One of the biggest things that Mark worried about was whether he could make you laugh or not. Any time that he didn’t see you at least with a small smile on your face would worry him. He worked hard at everything that he did, and that included making you happy. To cheer you up, he’d often search up things to do that would put the smile back on your face, and do a lot of research into your favourite cheesy jokes that he knew would get a reaction out of you each and every time. It was one thing he always made sure to do every day, knowing that if you ever had a bad day when you were around him then he’d never forgive himself.

M ⇴ MISSING 

Having spent so many years away from home, Mark never thought he’d experience the feeling of homesickness again, until you came along. He was never afraid to admit when he was struggling, but sometimes he’d forget about you in it all. There would be days sometimes when you just wouldn’t here from him because Mark didn’t know the right things to say to feel better. It’d only be when you’d message one of his members and ask them what was going on that he’d get the kick he needed to message you and sort himself out too. He still never knew the right things to say, but his members wouldn’t let him go until he said something.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES 

He often called you “sweet,” because you reminded him like the maple syrup at. You were adorable and cute, and reminded him exactly of the sweet tooth he had whenever he had maple syrup from back home.

O ⇴ OBSESSION 

Mark was obsessed with your hair, he loved to have his hands in it almost as much as he loved to feel yours messed in with his. Playing with your hair was always comforting for him.

P ⇴ PDA 

Subtle gestures were how Mark would often be affectionate in public with you. When he walked past you, he would usually kiss your cheek, or if you appeared beside him suddenly his hand would rest against your shoulder or arm just to remind himself that you were back by his side and safe.  

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS 

He would love to ask your opinion on nearly anything he did. Having your approval on anything was a huge bonus to him, but if something didn’t quite hit the spot for you, he’d refuse to let it go until you’d told him exactly where you thought he could improve or do better next time.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS 

For any occasion that the two of you celebrated, Mark would write a song for you. You knew that he loved to compose anyway, and anything that he came up with was something that you adored, but it was the pieces he wrote just for the two of you that held the biggest place in your heart. To see the effort he went to in order to find the perfect lyrics meant the world to you, and of course, he delivered each and every time.

S ⇴ SEX 

There were definitely times when things would get awkward for you both, and neither of you could do nothing more than laugh. For the best part, he would be a complete romantic, but then that shy side of Mark that you’d grown to adore would often make an appearance. You loved how caring he was during intimacy, even if he did end up making a bit of a fool of himself, just knowing you were happy was more than enough for him.

T ⇴ TEXTS 

He was definitely someone who would text, usually to let you know if something was up. You’d often end a shift to see a text from Mark to let you know that he’d be working late that night and to make sure you didn’t wait up for him.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE 

The two of you complimented each other very well, you shared a lot of traits which meant that you were able to be incredibly understanding and supportive of each other which was all that Mark ever really wanted.  

V ⇴ VACATION 

As the two of you didn’t end up finding the time to travel often, Mark would always fly your family, or his, maybe sometimes even both, in to visit the two of you instead. He knew your breaks were to spent with your families, regardless of where the two of you were in the world, just having them there with you is enough.

W ⇴ WHINING 

Mark wanted to be the perfect boyfriend, so if something didn’t quite go his way then he’d definitely whine and make his frustrations clear.

X ⇴ XXXXX 

He’d often find himself planting kisses against your skin, especially when you were nice and close. With your hands in his hair, there was no greater feeling for Mark then when you’d tug at him gently and pull him closer towards you so that you could press a soft kiss to his lips. A nervous giggle would always come after it, your kisses often left him feeling shy, but it was by far one of the things that you loved the most about him.

Y ⇴ YOU 

You were his biggest fan who supported him no matter what.

Z ⇴ ZZZ 

The two of you would always fall asleep close together. You’d often feel Mark’s hand tap against your skin as he came up with little melodies or ditties whilst he drifted off to sleep, using you as his instrument.

---

Masterlist

[orionwhispers]

Bravado // Tommy Shelby Imagine

(A/N - its been a long ass time and i wanted to ease myself back into writing but this ended up being long and also super super angsty. sorry that this illness imagine came during covid idk whats going on with my imagination lol. love you guys SO much thank you for always being there. reblogs, comments and likes mean everything to me.)

trigger warnings - LOTS of angst. fluff. implied smut. my hc that tommy has a fear of illness, bad descriptions of hospitals. 

He knew something wasn’t right the minute his car pulled into the driveway and you weren’t waiting for him under the great concrete arch, with that smile on your face that made his knees buckle and heart race like he was a love struck teenager.

You were always there as soon as he came home. Barefoot in a broderie dress in the summer with tousled hair and baby pink toenails. Wrapped in a hand knit blanket with fire flushed cheeks and woollen socks in the winter - even running across the gravel and into his arms in the middle of a storm, the ice cold rain whipping across both of your faces as you kissed under the light of the moon.

No matter how shit his day or week or month was, no matter what stained his hands or darkened his heart, no matter what lay heavy and hard deep in his gut, seeing you made everything vanish in the night air like wisps of smoke. You made everything worth it.

He refused to give into fear, he wasn’t that kind of man, so he swallowed all of the nagging thoughts and apprehensions as he came up to the dark foggy windows and the iron cast door. It felt strange turning his key in the lock without the weight of you in his arms or the sticky peach kisses you left down his jaw and neck, the smell of the vanilla in your hair and lavender on your skin.

The second thing that sent a jolt of white hot electricity down his spine was Mary, watching him anxiously and wringing her hands in the hallway. Usually, she was calm and collected, taking his jacket and leather travel bag with her signature placid smile and gentle fingers. Usually she would return to the kitchen and finish up whatever she was making - a hearty roast lamb with rosemary and garlic and glazed potatoes or a pheasant pie with honeyed carrots, always followed by a three layer chocolate ganache cake that was so thick and rich you practically had to saw through the sponge. She would always have dinner piping hot and dripping with gravy by the time the two of you returned downstairs, no matter how many hours it took for you to get... reacquainted.

Now she looked sheepish and pale, her skin almost translucent under the syrupy yellow lights. There was something about the way she stood, as still as a wraith, that made his blood run cold.

“Mary. Where is she?”

“Mr Shelby, I - ” Her voice was strained and hesitant, like a slowly fraying rope.

“Where is my wife?”

She moved forward, creases forming around her eyes. “We tried ringing you in Liverpool but the hotel said that you had already left, so we...”

“You rang me? Why? What’s happened?” He couldn’t hold back the desperation in his voice, and it lingered and festered around them both like a poisonous gas.

“Mrs Shelby came down with something a few days ago, we thought that it was just a common cold but unfortunately she seems to be getting worse.”

He tore upstairs before he could even think, his shoes leaving perfect muddy footprints on the cream carpet. He almost slipped at the top, and he lurched forward, his hands reaching out and holding onto the portrait hanging above the stairs for stability.

It was the oil of the two of you. A soft, personal picture that revealed more than he ever possibly could. The love in your gazes, the hint of a soft, drunk smile on the dangerous gangsters face as you leaned into him, melting into him like butter, him holding onto you as though he couldn’t bear to let you go. It was his favourite photo, one that always washed a sense of calmness over him, a reminder of the woman that he loved and the way he felt around you. But now he felt as if was riding out a terrible storm.

He lived his life with no fear, he was capable and practical and used to the sound of bullets and the copper sweet smell of blood. There was really only one thing, one terrible thing that he couldn’t control, and that was what drove him crazy.

Sickness.

It gnawed at his insides like a rabid dog, clawed under his skin and settled behind his ribs. Losing someone he loved was like ripping out a piece of his heart straight from his chest, and he knew better than anyone what it was like to lose somebody to a violent, quick death - the pull of a trigger or the smack of a fist. At least in those moments he could lock them away in his mind, he could leap in front of a bullet or crack the neck of any man who dared to get too close to you, but there was almost nothing he could do to stop sickness, and the devastation it caused.

When you first met him it had been a surprise, almost amusing, that this powerful God of a man had these small little quirks. His house was always sparkling clean and smelling of Lysol, his fruit bowls were filled with citrus fruits and round, plump blueberries. He always made sure you were wrapped up warm in the winter, always placing his coat around your shoulders and bringing an extra pair of gloves in case you forgot yours. It was adorable, the way he took care of you,

It wasn’t till a little bit later when you learnt of those he had lost. His mother and his childhood sweetheart taken away from him much too soon. It broke your heart when he told you late one night of the sallow tint of their skin and the way he could almost see them vanishing from earth, the way that illness had moulded and changed those he loved the most.

You understood.

Your best friends older sister had died of tuberculosis when you were young. The elderly woman across the street from your first flat had passed away from a bout of horrendous smallpox. Your brother lost his first child to pneumonia. Times were changing but the fear of disease was ever present. Medicine was improving and so was knowledge, but still there remained a huge, dark cloud of what could happen, one that always hung around your husbands head.

——————————————-

All Tommy could think was the worst as he ran through the landing. His heart was in his ears and his bones felt loose, like the sweet liquorice the two of you would share at the pictures. He came to a stop by the bedroom door, tentatively pressing his palm onto the wood and ever so slightly pushing it open, listening to the gentle creak it made.

The room was warm. The lace curtains were pulled shut, and your favourite lavender candles were flickering on your vanity, casting syrupy shadows against the wall. He exhaled loudly as he saw you, bundled up under a mountain of satin sheets and hand crocheted blankets, your hair splayed across the pillows.

He moved to your bedside, pretending not to notice the large, untouched jug of water and the tissue box next to you, hoping and silently praying that you weren’t sick - just asleep and waiting for him, ready to wrap your arms around his neck.

You were silent, your lips parting every so often as you breathed, your chest rising and falling. He reached out gently, as though he was picking up shards of glass, and brushed his fingers against your cheek. Your forehead was beading with sweat, your cheeks flushed, and yet your skin was ice cold to the touch. He recoiled quickly, his heart dropping like a weight into his gut, and he inhaled a shaky, deep breath.

He saw something curled up beside your hands, a fluffy white cloud with sparkling emerald green eyes trained on him. Despite everything, he smiled. He thought of your birthday - of strawberry cheesecake and champagne, and surprising you with a ribbon wrapped little kitten as you woke up. He thought of that day often. How you smiled and leapt onto him with tears in your eyes, his whole world blissfully quiet as he spent the day in bed with you and your new best friend.

He would have preferred a big dog, one with sharp teeth and a menacing gaze to ward of visitors whilst he was away. But you were drawn to the tiny, malnourished runt of the litter who was scared of his own shadow. A kitten no bigger than the size of his clenched fist. A little white hairball who only ate and drank from fine pink saucers. A cat that had a very frustrating habit of crawling in the bedroom right as Tommy’s hand was up your skirt and his lips on the sweet spot of your neck, the tiny thing mewling and crying until you picked him up and nuzzled him into your chest.

He was a horse lover through and through, and never saw himself having time for any other pets. But in the summer when you saw the litter from one of John’s barn cats and fell in love with the sweet baby who mewled and cried and crawled right into your lap - he knew that he would give you anything and everything you wanted.

Including a cat who refused to accept that Tommy was the man of the house.

“Hello, boy.” He said, leaning over to scratch Comet under the chin, using a voice he only reserved for the two of you. “Have you been looking after my girl whilst I’ve been gone?”The cat meowed loudly in reply, pressing his head into Tommy’s palm but not moving from his spot beside you.

Tommy suddenly felt you shift under him and his heart lurched into his throat. He turned to face you, cupping the side of your clammy face as your eyelids fluttered open, blinking under the candlelight. A rush of red hot heat built up in his belly as you registered him, that angelic smile growing on your face, your tired eyes glimmering with recognition of the man you loved.

“Tommy?”

“Hi, Princess.”

You smiled sadly. “You’ve been gone for weeks - I missed you.”

He felt his brows crease as he rubbed along your jawline softly, trying to stop you from falling back asleep. He felt panic in his throat as sour as vomit, and he tried to bite back the nagging feeling that something was very wrong.

“No, sweetheart, I’m early. It’s only Thursday. I left on Monday.”

“Oh.” You said softly, your voice as gentle as the breeze rustling through the trees outside. “Well let me welcome you back properly - let me make you a lemon drizzle or a...” You lifted your head from the pillow and shuffled under your blanket, but he pressed his hands against your shoulder and held you down.

“No. You’re staying right here.”

“But - ”

“No.”

“Hmm. Don’t leave me, Tommy.”

“Never.” He said, his tone firm and cast like stone. He stroked your hair softly as your breathing slowed, but it didn’t nothing to quell the hard thump of his heart in his chest.

——————————-

Tommy left the room as quietly as he could after you had fallen asleep in his arms. He hadn’t wanted to move, not when you were pressed against his chest, looking ethereal but vacant, sweat beading under your brow and your face lacking colour. He wanted to stay with you, curled up by his side, his fingers laced through yours, the sound of your heart thumping in his ears.

But he was a man of action, and seeing you there - your lips cracked and dry, shudders passing through your body and goosebumps raised over your skin - he couldn’t fight the fiery urge to do everything in his power to make you feel alright again.

He found Mary waiting outside the door, chewing on the skin of her lips and swaying on the balls of her feet in anticipation. He grabbed her by the arm, harder than he meant to and something he would apologise for later, and pulled her downstairs, determined to let you rest whilst he got some answers. As soon as they reached the drawing room he spun her around, clenching his jaw and pointing a finger at the anxious maid.

“Where the fuck is the doctor? Why isn’t he here?”

“Mr Shelby.” She said, stepping forward calmly. “We phoned Doctor Moore and he came on Tuesday to see her.”

“Tuesday?” He seethed. “My wife has been ill since Tuesday and no one called me?”

Mary raised her hands in defeat, making it clear that the decision wasn’t hers to make. “He said it was nothing of concern . He gave her some antibiotics and told her to rest. She asked us herself not to call you, she knows how you.. worry.”

He ignored her sugar coated attempt to quell his anger, but if anything it made his vision darken. “When it’s my wife, It is always my concern.”

“Mr Shelby, we were just doing what we were told. As soon as we noticed she wasn’t getting better we phoned the surgery again, but Doctor Thomas was out for the day and said he didn’t think it was necessary to come round again, so we -”

“I don’t give a fuck. My wife is the number one priority. Ring every doctor in England if you have to, get somebody out here now to see my wife.”

He stormed away, anger pulsating through his veins, but he stopped suddenly, and threw out over his shoulder:

“And call Doctor Moore’s ’office. Tell him to expect a visit from the blinders soon.”

———————————————————

Once, when you were first dating, you found Tommy at the door to your flat at midnight, with scraped knuckles and blood dripping from his nose. You let him in, cleaned him up and sat with him in the bath until his skin was clear and his breathing was even. He knew that night, as you were pressed against his chest and his lips were pressed to your scalp that he was truly, madly and completely in love with you.

He remembered waking up the next morning, love drunk and blissful, and finding the bed beside him empty. He found you in the kitchen, wincing slightly and pressing a hot water bottle to your belly as you buttered a few pieces of toast. He rushed to your side with eyes as wide as saucers, concern lacing the features that were usually ice cold and hard as stone. You were completely baffled as he held you at arms length, his bright cerulean eyes trailing up and down your body for any signs of injury he might have missed. You were bewildered at the sight of the powerful man practically on his knees as he made sure you were alright, and you bit back a giggle as his warm palms spread over your abdomen.

“What is it? Whats wrong?”

“Tommy. Sweetheart.” You said softly, bringing his gaze level to yours. “It’s just - you know - that time of the month.”

He brushed off your embarrassment and ran his fingers through your hair, pressing a uncharacteristically gentle kiss to your forehead, sending a swarm of butterflies around the pain in your stomach.

“Do you need anything?” He asked, half ready to run down to the corner shop and buy any amount of painkillers or chocolate bars or your favourite lavender tea that you might need; not caring who saw the seemingly terrifying gang leader in the street with an armful of strawberry laces and salt water fudges.

You smiled like the summer sun and he melted, pulling you close as you whispered in the shell of his ear that you only needed him, and that was all you ever needed.

That was the first time you fully saw the extent of Tommy’s fear, but it definitely wasn’t the last. He knew he wanted you forever and always, and it took only six months of neck kisses and pillow talk, red hot jealousy and possessive hands across your skin and dancing in the rain and falling asleep under the pale yellow moon for him to put a ring on your finger. You were both consumed by your love, as though it was the only thing that mattered, it was insatiable and powerful - the wonderful mix of the devil and his sweet little angel.

And with that, came the good and the bad.

Like when you got food poisoning after Arthur cooked you a Sunday lunch to cheer you up whilst Tommy was gone. He came home to you retching over the toilet bowl with Mary holding back your hair, and swore that he would kill his brother with his own hands. Or when you slipped on ice and broke your arm while out with friends in London, and Tommy went ballistic and tried to ban you from ever leaving the house. It was just in his nature, how he always made sure you walked on the side furthest from the road, kept an arm slung around you whenever you were together, kept his eyes alert and vigilant no matter where you were - always looking out for his girl.

But he had never been like this.

———————————————————-

You were falling in and out of sleep. Waking up drowsy and heavy headed, squinting under bright lights, an ache in your skull and a burning in your throat. Every so often you felt a pinch in your upper arm, a squeeze on your palm, a kiss on your forehead - but you always drifted back into unconsciousness.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you woke up. The room was dark and you could hear the wind howling and whipping rain across the windows. You felt all too hot and all too cold at the same time, and the bed was damp with sweat. You struggled and tried to sit up, your head swaying and feeling as heavy as one of Tommy’s marble statues; as if you had been carved up and moulded. You could hear voices out in the hall, and unsteadily got to your feet, moving towards the noises.

“Pneumonia?” You heard through the thick wooden door, instantly recognising your husbands voice. “That’s impossible.”

“Sir...”

“Fucking. Impossible.” You knew his teeth were clenched.

The other man cleared his throat.“I know that it’s hard to hear, Mr Shelby, but your wife is very sick.”

“Just...” You felt your heart flutter and clench in your chest as the sound of his broken words, could practically feel his desperation and you wanted nothing more than to hold him. “Just tell me how to make her better.”

The second man spoke again, his voice softening and lowering, something you knew Tommy would hate. “Mr Shelby, the first round of antibiotics didn’t work and that means that it’s time for something stronger. Usually I would suggest the Birmingham hospital but I don’t think it’s equipped for...” He paused, trying to think over his words carefully. He wanted to convey the severity of the situation but also didn’t want to risk getting a bullet in his head from your very protective husband. “...This kind of reaction. I recommend we send her down to London for extra testing.”

“London? That’ll take two fucking hours. How the fuck can you recommend letting my wife travel that far? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“I’m my opinion this is the wisest choice to make, but unfortunately that could mean your wife might get worse before she gets better.”

“Worse than she already is? That’s not an option.”

The man you assumed was the doctor was insistent, trying his best to portray the severity of the situation but failing as your hardheaded husband had already come to a decision.

“I’ll look after her here. She’s safest with me.”

Once Tommy had spoken that was the final result, and the doctor slinked away into the darkness and shook his head. You remained peering from behind the door, your tongue between your teeth and your heart hammering.

Tommy took one look at you and frowned, scooping you in his arms like a baby despite your protests. He ignored you, acting playfully and cheerful but you could feel his heated skin and the see flare of his nostrils. You wanted to help him but didn’t know how, and let him tuck you under the covers once again. He kissed your crown and stroked your hair and you wanted to speak but no words would leave your mouth.

“You stay there this time. You know I have no problem with tying you to the bed.”

You rolled your eyes as he left, and his clenched fists and tightened shoulders told you all you needed to know.

————————————————-

Comet watched from his spot beside you as Tommy wrestled with the fire. He had noticed you shivering despite your high temperature, and bundled you up in blankets whilst sparking matches beside the fireplace. There were raindrops across his shoulders, evidence that he had been outside and to the log store right at the end of the property - a job that had always been for the Groundskeeper. Your precious cat nudged the tips of your fingers as you sighed and watched your husband throw kindling onto the coal, a deep unease settling over your gut.

“Tommy, my love, I’m fine.” It wasn’t exactly true but you felt he needed to hear it. But you could practically see your words wash over him and evaporate like ocean spray.

He was shaking a metal tin in his palm as he worked, and you groaned and let your head hit the pillow as he pulled out two round chalky tablets. You winced as he placed them beside your glass, your mouth already tasting like the sour talc medicine you had come to loathe. He raised his eyebrows and shot you a look that told you he wasn’t far off plugging your nose with his fingers to force you to swallow, and you childishly stuck up two fingers as you took them.

Your stomach rumbled with nausea and you bit back the bile in your throat as you settled into the pillows. You watched your husband as he pulled off his crisp white shirt, revealing his taut tan stomach and the deep ink tattoos that you loved to trace with your fingertips and your lips. There was something about him standing there, with those damn cerulean eyes and hidden muscles, that boyish hair and slender fingers that you wanted desperately around your throat, that made a million tiny fireworks spark inside of you.

But instead you pushed him away from you despite your body wanting nothing but him wrapped all around you. “Don’t get too close. I might have something contagious. I can’t have you getting sick.”

He ignored you, smiling inwardly at the way you always put others before yourself. It was one of the million reasons he had fallen for you. You were sweating out a high fever and shivering in pain, and yet you always thought of him first. He pressed his lips to your temple and pulled you closer, knowing that skin to skin was a way to bring down a fever - even if it meant he had to restrain himself from tugging off your pretty little white nightgown and whatever frilly things you had on underneath.

“I’m not going anywhere. Fuck it if I catch anything.”

“That’s easy for you to say. I’m the one who will have to dote on you hand and foot, you big baby.” You teased, pressing yourself into him playfully, finally giving in.

He held you like a child, trying to hard to soften despite the way you felt underneath him. Everything on him was running a mile a minute, and he couldn’t help but want to try everything and everything to make you feel better. His hand was pressed against your temple to always try and measure your fever, his other palm across your chest to try and count your heart rate.

He could hear Mary treading across the landing carpet but he ignored his anxious maid, instead letting himself be completely consumed by the only thing that mattered - you.

This was something he had to do by himself. He was the only one who could care for you he reminded himself. And he let the words tumble over and over in his skull until they were all he could hear.

—————————————————————-

You had been asleep for a long time.

Every hour, after pacing the length of the hall and sanitising his hands and wiping the beads of sweat above your brow and above your breasts he woke you up and held a cool glass to your lips. You mumbled and moaned and pushed him away but he kept his fingers across your wrist - harsher than he ever had before - and kept you as close to him as possible.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had cooked. Perhaps it was last valentines when the two of you had camped out under the stars, drinking icy white wine and sharing stolen, day drunk kisses. That night he had roasted a chicken over the fire and it had burnt to a crisp as the two of you rolled around the grass, his head buried in your neck as you giggled at the poultry going up in flames.

He was trying now though, easy, plain substantial meals that wouldn’t upset your stomach. Boiled egg and dippy soldiers. Crackers with smooth cheese. Bubbly water and ginger biscuits. Each time he went upstairs you pushed him away, your whole body shuddering and almost retching, and he felt like smashing the plates against the wall at his defeat.

It had been almost thirty six hours since he had come home and it had been almost as long since you had eaten something, and his heart thundered and shattered in his chest when he found you gasping and wheezing over the toilet bowl when you had taken a bite of toast to calm him. He rarely left you alone, only for a few minutes to put the still full dishes in the sink, to ring Lizzie and tell her that he wouldn’t be coming for reasons that he refused to disclose, to smoke a cigarette under the grey stone archway, his shaking hands and bitten fingernails barely visible through the sleepy rolling fog.

He had grabbed handfuls of papers and the brass ink pen you had got him for your anniversary and broke his own rule - bringing work into your bedroom. It had always been a sacred space. For candlelight and soft laughter, aching hands and heart shaped bruises, a sanctuary for him to breathe and to love and to be loved fully in return. But he was afraid if he didn’t have a distraction, he might just completely lose it, and he had to be there for you.

So he sat squinting in his glasses, the room almost completely dark save for a few candles because of the migraines that had started to spread throughout your skull, and let himself be drawn into the mess of squiggly lines and numbers that suddenly didn’t add up, with you still centre stage in his peripheral.

After about forty minutes of rereading the same sentence a dozen times to try and make some sense of it, he heard your voice, like a small crack spreading across a sheet of ice, coming from the bed.

“Tom?” You sounded so weak, he practically flipped your cream vanity as he got to his feet and darted towards you. “I don’t feel well.”

He lifted you as you reached your arms up at him like a child. He almost gasped at the sweat pouring from your body but didn’t want to scare you, and instead held your shaking, shivering body against his own. How could you be so hot, yet so cold at the same time? Your skin was prickled with goosebumps yet you were burning with a fever, and for the first time in a long time, he had no fucking idea what to do.

He left you propped up against the headboard and he entered the bathroom. He ran over to the claw foot tub you loved, twisting the faucet and trying to find the perfect medium between boiling hot and freezing cold. He didn’t want to overwhelm you, just try and soothe your raging fever, and he ignored the shelves of expensive bath oils and scented soaps that you coveted, instead opting for a handful of something meant to ease tension - praying to whoever was listening that it would help you somehow.

There was a brutal, awful moment as he lifted you from the bed, limp as a rag doll, where he imagined what would happen if your heart were to stop. He couldn’t comprehend what it would be like to miss the weight of you in his arms, the smell of your skin, the feeling of your lips against him, the shovels stopping and fading into nothing. It hit him square in the chest, as merciless as a bullet, and he had to lean against the doorframe to stop the two of you from plummeting to the ground.

He undressed himself first. Tugging his white shirt off, sliding off his slacks and his underwear, keeping you as close to his chest as he could. Then he pulled your nightgown up and over your head. He gathered your hair and secured it up with a claw clip so that it was away from your face, the heat radiating off your neck as fierce as the fire now burnt down to ash in the bedroom.

He lowered the two of you into the bath, sinking down beneath the eucalyptus smelling lukewarm water, letting it wash over you both. Your teeth were chattering and you were barely awake. He gathered handfuls of water, letting it drip over your shoulders and pulse points, grabbing a washcloth and running it over your raised skin, hating how you barely registered his touch. As he scrubbed over your collarbones and up to your face he saw your lips had turned to an awful, silvery blue, as vibrant as a fresh bruise. He hissed and tugged on the plug, now determined to get you wrapped up in a fresh towel and tucked back into bed.

You were soft and placid and he helped you out, lacking the usual fire that he adored. Your eyes were glassy and missing their vibrance, like the vanishing spark of a lighter - and he felt miles and miles of invisible distance between the two of you. You were unsteady on your feet and he used his body to prop you up as he warmed your arms with a fluffy white towel. You suddenly stopped, lifting your hand to your mouth as you started to cough - a horrible, dry, gasping cough.

He noticed it almost immediately. His eyes darting to the splatter of red against the white, a smudge of crimson that was as loud and commanding as a siren, a warning signal that something was definitely not right. A bead of scarlet that would linger long behind his closed eyelids.

He managed to get you back into bed, remaining calm as he stroked your hair and kissed your temple. He tucked you under the duvet and waited for your breathing to even before he ran downstairs, his heart thumping in his ears as he practically ripped the phone off of the wall.

“Pol? Fuck. I think - I think I need help.”

—————————————————————-

The room smelt like bleach and metal. Unfamiliar and clinical. There was something hard on your chest and covering your mouth, it tasted like wet pennies and was as heavy as a hand over your throat, but for the first time in days you could finally breathe. You tried to sit up, but there was a needle in your chest, a gown you didn’t recognise cut straight down the middle to accommodate it. You struggled and lifted the thin bedsheet above your shivering torso, trying to look around the cold room.

“Careful!”

It was Polly, dressed immaculately despite her surroundings. She reached out and placed a manicured hand across yours, and you smiled at the woman who had always been a calming influence when you had joined the circus of a family. There was concern in her eyes, rimmed with black eyeliner and lifted lashes but still swimming deep around her pupils. That made you frown, and you moved as much as you could to face her.

“What happened?”

She ran her tongue over her teeth, choosing her words. “You gave us quite a fright, love.”

“I did?” Your memories of the past few days were much like a fever dream, blurry and distorted snapshots were all you could really remember.

“Your pneumonia got worse. A lot worse.” She paused, looking over to the door and you followed her gaze. “They found fluid in your lungs.”

“So...” You started, gesturing to the needle in your abdomen and the breathing apparatus around your head.

She nodded. “Yes. You were in surgery. It was touch and go for a little bit.”

“Really?” You were bewildered. You couldn’t remember anything, let alone having major surgery. You looked her straight in the eye, asking her the questions that had been on the tip of your tongue since you had woken up. “Where is he? Where’s Tommy?”

“He’s outside.” She clicked her tongue, reaching deep into her purse and pulling out some hand cream, gently rubbing your dry hands like she was your mother. You leant into her touch despite all of your questions.

“What? Why?”

“I think he blames himself. God knows what goes on in that mans head. All I really know is he was bloody terrified.” She paused, looking over in the distance. “I’ve never seen him so scared, not even on his wedding day.” She smiled sadly, trying to lighten the mood, but it soon faded. “He didn’t leave your side the whole time you were asleep.”

Your heart thumped in your chest, a soft aching that you knew all too well. “I want to see him.”

“I know you do. But right now...” She stopped right as a handful of nurses entered, clad in long blue dresses with white aprons, hair tied back and smelling of strong soap and disinfectant. You lost Polly in the bustle as one spoke softly to you before tugging on the needle right beside your ribs, your eyes just catching hers as she left, a promise to see you soon on her lips.

It wasn’t her you saw next, but Tommy.

The nurses had cleaned you up with wet flannels and bowls of warm soapy water. Your hair had been braided and your face washed, and walked you arm in arm over to the bathroom so you could relieve yourself. A skittish doctor followed after, his eyes darting across you and his touch gentle as he changed your dressings and took your blood - obviously under strict instructions from your husband, and despite everything, you smiled.

You were sat listening to the clock tick. A romance novel you had been given was dangling dangerously close to the end of the bed, but you were too tired to focus on it. You heard the door squeal softly, and the sound of familiar footsteps across the tiling, each small thud sending shockwaves across your spine.

“Tommy.”

He looked tired. Exhausted rather, as though he had been awake all the hours that you had been asleep. His eyes were bloodshot and his skin was sallow and bruised. His clean shaven face was dark with stubble and his hair was ruffled and unwashed. You longed to reach out to him and cradle him against you, but he stood in the doorway, lingering like a ghost.

“Tommy?” You repeated, your voice almost a whisper, breaking his already shattered heart once again.

“How are you feeling, my love?”

You smiled softly, like spun sugar and sweet honey. No hospital bed or itchy gown could dull your infectious light. “Better now.”

He approached you almost cautiously. He settled down on the hard chair beside your bed and stroked a line down from your temple to your lips, his touch setting you alight like an electrical storm. There was a sadness in his eyes that reminded you of how he got when things were bad, and you willed him to come back to you. His touch was tentative and he inhaled shakily as you cupped his hand with yours, pressing a tender kiss to the inside of his palm.

“Don’t scare me like that. Ever.” He was stern, as though hoping his words would make it true. “I mean it.” He kept his gaze on your pretty face, trying his best not to stare at the harsh bruising on your delicate flesh or the sickly tone of your skin.

“Tommy I’m going to get sick, even you can’t stop that.” You teased gently.

“I can bloody well try.” His hands cradled your face, pulling you into him and kissing you fiercely, still mindful of the wires and tubes taped to your body. There was something about the tenderness and deep longing in the kiss that when mixed with your total exhaustion and love for your husband prompted tears to start falling from your eyes. You sniffled as he pulled away, concern dripping from his beautiful features, his powerful mind wanting to do everything and anything to stop your hurting.

“Hey, hey.” He said, running his calloused fingertips under your eyes and wiping your tears away. You leant into his touch and he kissed your temple, squeezing you even tighter into him. “You know I hate it when you cry.” He toyed with your hair and winked playfully. “Besides, all you need to focus on is getting better. You’re going to have to take care of me when we get home, this week has given me a fucking stroke.”

You rolled your eyes, kissing the inside of his wrist. “You’re a idiot, Thomas Shelby.” You blinked at the clock looming above you both, wanting to stay in your blissful bubble but also knowing that Aunt Pol would probably be in the vicinity harassing a poor nurse over your results. “You should go and find Polly, let her know that everything’s alright.”

He shook his head and nuzzled his nose across yours, an act so innocent that your heart dipped and swooped in your chest. “Later.” He said, breathless and consumed by you. Everything had been too much. Almost losing you had been harrowing, it had punctured him completely and he just needed to feel his girl safe and warm around him. He needed to know that you weren’t found anywhere.

“I just want to stay here for a while. Just me and you.”

You grinned. “Always.”

[thecreaturecodex]

Slaad Lord, Chourst

Image © @tredlocity​

[And we’re back! With a bit of a bang, as I am going to be posting the four slaad lords from 2e over the next couple of weeks. Ssendam and Ygorl are as old as the slaadi are, having first appeared in the 1e Fiend Folio, but Chourst and Rennbuu were introduced in Dragon Magazine in 1995. Between them, Chourst has only one canonical illustration and Rennbuu two, so there was a lot of room to work with. One thing that I hope to accomplish with these slaad lords is to make them feel appropriately chaotic, but not evil. Slaadi have always had that issue.

The biggest mechanical change between the 2e Chourst and my version has to do with the shift in cosmology. In Planescape, the plane of Limbo is filled with random assortment of all four elements and can be shaped by a strong will. Chourst causes that to all fall apart into chaos with their mere presence. Since the Maelstrom of Pathfinder doesn’t work that way, I changed it to a thematically similar aura of wild magic.]

Slaad Lord, Chourst CR 22 CN Aberration This gangly giant is a humanoid frog more than three times as tall as a man. Its skin is a yellowish white, shot through with mottled silver veins. It has blank staring eyes, long fingers and toes, and a triangular head. Strangely, it is dressed in a dapper traveler’s fashion, with cane, hat and cape.

Chourst, the Whimsical, Lord of Randomness CN agender slaad lord of randomness, exploration and antisocial behavior Domains Chaos, Destruction, Liberation, Travel Subdomains Freedom, Exploration, Slaad, Whimsy Worshipers anarchists, free-thinkers, wanderers Minions chaos beasts, grey slaadi, shoggoths Holy Symbol a triangular face looking down, with circular staring eyes Favored Weapon greatclub Obedience For one hour, do as thou will. Gain a +4 sacred bonus to saves against compulsion effects Boons: 1: hideous laughter 2/day; 2: freedom of movement 2/day; 3: wind walk 2/day

Chourst the Whimsical is a force of nature, moving like a hurricane and creating devastation in their wake. Not all of this destruction is intentional, as Chourst is as likely to pick flowers as fights. But magic warps and twists in their presence, and spells can fire out of control easily wherever they go. Chourst spends most of their existence navigating the cerulean seas of the Maelstrom, but can and does transverse the planes to go a-wandering as the whim suits them. The Lord of Randomness has many admirers among free-thinkers and the more philosophical hedonists, but they tend to admire the slaad lord at a distance.

It can be difficult to keep Chourst’s attentions long enough to engage them in prolonged combat. When traveling long distances, Chourst can and does appear in a great explosion, as much to announce their presence and gain attention as to cause damage. Their signature weapon is a cane tipped with a likeness of his own face, but their claws and fangs are deadly weapons as well. Creatures bitten by Chourst lose their ability to maintain a constant shape, and eventually collapse into chaos beasts. Chourst tends to save their bite attack for those that truly offend or annoy them.

Among the slaad lords, Chourst and Ygorl have a tenuous alliance. Ygorl approves of Chourst’s more destructive moods, and encourages them to create more chaos beasts and transport slaadi across planar boundaries. But Chourst’s attention frequently wanders from any kind of mission. Chourst is not stupid despite their lack of focus, and has impressed some protean choirs with their defense of random action as a manifestation of philosophical chaos. The only things Chourst seems to genuinely dislike are inevitables and other lawful outsiders, which they often polymorph into humiliating forms or simply kill.

Chourst is among the largest of the slaad lords, standing 22 feet tall.

Gigglestick Aura strong enchantment and evocation; CL 17th Slot none; Price 181,250 gp; Weight 40 lbs Gigglestick is Chourst’s signature weapon, a wooden cane tipped with a representation of the slaad lord’s own head. In combat, Gigglestick functions as a Huge+3 anarchic greatclub that changes size with its wielder. It also functions as a rod of wonder, except that the save DCs to avoid particular effects are DC 25, and a wielder can use its function as a rod of wonder as a swift action three times per day. Construction Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Rod, Quicken Spell, creator must be chaotic, chaos hammer, confusion; Cost 90,625 gp.

Chourst                CR 22 XP 615,000 CN Huge aberration (chaos, extraplanar, slaad, slaad lord) Init +5; Senses darkvision 120 ft., detect law, detect magic, Perception +24 Aura cloak of chaos (Will DC 27), wild magic (300 ft.) Defense AC 38, touch 18, flat-footed 32 (-2 size, +5 Dex, +1 dodge, +4 deflection, +20 natural) hp 434 (28d8+308); fast healing 20 Fort +24, Ref +18, Will +26 DR 20/epic and lawful; Immune charm and compulsion effects, sonic; Resist acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, fire 20; SR 33 Defensive Abilities fortification (50%), freedom of movement Offense Speed 40 ft., air walk Melee Gigglestick +35/+30/+25/+20 (3d8+22 plus 2d6 against non-chaotic opponents), bite +30 (2d12+6 plus corporeal instability) or 2 claws +32 (3d8+13), bite +32 (2d12+13 plus corporeal instability) Space 15 ft.; Reach 15 ft. Special Attacks explosive entrance Spell-like Abilities CL 20th, concentration +29 Constant—air walk, cloak of chaos (self only, DC 27), detect law, detect magic, freedom of movement At will—astral projection, cloudkill (DC 24), confusion (DC 23), greater dispel magic, solid fog, wind walk 3/day—quickened displacement, earthquake, fire storm (DC 27), empowered greater shout (DC 27), polymorph any object (DC 27), symbol of insanity (DC 26) 1/day—gate (DC 28), implosion (DC 28), summon slaad (CR 20 or less, 100%, 9th level), symbol of strife (DC 28) Statistics Str 36, Dex 21, Con 33, Int 19, Wis 22, Cha 28 Base Atk +21; CMB +36 (+40 disarm or trip); CMD 55 (57 vs. disarm, trip) Feats Combat Expertise, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Empower SLA (greater shout), Greater Disarm, Greater Trip, Improved Disarm, Improved Trip, Mobility, Multiattack, Power Attack, Quicken SLA (displacement), Spring Attack, Whirlwind Attack Skills Acrobatics +26 (+30 jumping), Bluff +19, Diplomacy +19, Disguise +19, Intimidate +22, Knowledge (arcana, geography, nature, religion) +22, Knowledge (planes) +25, Perception +24, Spellcraft +25, Stealth +18, Survival +24 Languages Aklo, Common, Protean, Slaad, telepathy 100 ft. SQ change shape (animal, dragon, giant, humanoid, magical beast, shapechange), no breath, slaad lord traits Ecology Environment any land or underground (Maelstrom) Organization unique Treasure double standard (Gigglestick, other treasure) Special Abilities Corporeal Instability (Su) Claw—contact (curse); save Fort DC 35; effect amorphous body and 1d4 Wisdom drain per round (see below); cure 3 consecutive saves. The save DC is Con-based. A creature cursed with an amorphous body becomes a spongy, shapeless mass. Unless the victim manages to control the effect (see below), its shape constantly melts, flows, writhes, and boils. An affected creature is unable to hold or use any item. Clothing, armor, helmets, and rings become useless. Large items worn or carried—armor, backpacks, even shirts—hamper more than help, reducing the victim's Dexterity score by 4. Speed is reduced to 10 feet or one-quarter normal, whichever is less. The victim gains the amorphous quality, but cannot cast spells or use magic items, and it attacks blindly, unable to distinguish friend from foe (–4 penalty on attack rolls and a 50% miss chance, regardless of the attack roll). A victim can temporarily regain its own shape by taking a standard action to attempt a DC 20 Will save. A success reestablishes the creature's normal form for 1 minute. Spells that change the victim's shape (such as alter self, beast shape, elemental body, and polymorph) do not remove the curse, but hold the creature in a stable form (which might not be its own form, depending on the spell) and prevent additional Wisdom drain for the duration of the spell; shapechange and stoneskin have a similar effect. The victim takes 1d4 point of Wisdom drain from mental shock every round that it ends its turn in an amorphous shape—upon being drained to 1 Wisdom, further Wisdom drain ceases and the creature is transformed permanently into a chaos beast (no further number of saving throws can cure the condition at this time). A creature transformed into a chaos beast can only be recovered using a miracle or wish spell. Explosive Entrance (Su) Chourst can dismiss wind walk on themselves as a standard action. When they do so, they appear in an explosion, dealing 10d6 each of fire, force and sonic damage in a 40 foot radius (Reflex DC 33 half). The save DC is Charisma based. Slaad Lord Traits (Ex/Su/Sp) Chourst is a slaad lord, a powerful slaad that has assumed quasi-divine traits. A slaad lord has the following abilities:

DR 20/lawful and epic

Resist acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, fire 20

Immune to two of the following: charm effects, compulsion effects, death effects, energy drain, fear effects, poison, petrifaction

Summon Slaadi (Sp) As a standard action once per day, a slaad lord can summon one or more slaadi constituting a CR 20 encounter. This is     the equivalent of a 9th level spell

Immortal (Ex) A slaad lord does not need to eat or drink, and cannot age.

Capable of granting followers spells, as per their cult entry above

Wild Magic Aura (Su) Any creature attempting to cast a spell or use a spell-like ability within 300 feet of Chourst must succeed a DC 33 Will save or the spell is effected by a wild magic surge. Creatures with the chaos subtype are immune to this effect. The save DC is Charisma based.