#also it seems like this mcc was just a better time generally for scott? and that makes me really happy

[thewanderingmask]

congrats to these lovely folks!

[dodgebolts]

What exactly would you say were the problems with mcc as opposed to this event? Like how could noxcrew fix mcc?

First off, the events are just completely different in structure—MCC is a team-based game with a rotating slate of minigames that's for the most part a monthly event, whereas Squidcraft is a free-for-all that takes place once a year and has a new slate of events from year to year. I don't think Noxcrew can do much in that regard to 'fix things' other than introduce more games? However, I'm fully aware of how much time and effort that takes to do, and since because they're not actually paid anything to run the event I have no expectations for them to do so. So on the Noxcrew side of things? Not much LOL

My criticisms are levied more towards the community—I've been a Dream in MCC enjoyer for a long time, and there's always been quite a bit of animosity and hostility towards him. At the beginning (say MCC6-MCC13) I think that there was at least some basis for it, he was much more loose-lipped and brash with his criticisms and I'll be the first to admit that he was a little annoying sometimes. But that came with unwarranted things like people literally inventing tiers just to keep him away from the community's golden boy S-tiers, and it often just felt like he was othered from the community because he brought a competitiveness people weren't ready to face despite. yk. it being a competitive tournament.

Also, during mcc's return, 2021 dttwt had a lot of ppl who were nasty and annoying and incited mcc drama just to fight about it (I'd been on the receiving end of it a few times trust me LOL). So those two things combined soured the general mcc community towards Dream and everything only snowballed from there. For instance, MCC14 was a DISASTER for the green guardians and right after, people on the reddit didn't even stop to go "hey, maybe he had an off event, he's just some guy after all" and instead went Okay Well he underperformed he should be demoted a tier immediately, and it was incredibly frustrating as someone who knew that his performance was a one-off. Thankfully he went on to back-to-back win the next two events but demotion never left the realm of discussion—not to mention that mcc days just became a cesspool on twitter, people across the board talking shit about how the dteam made mcc too sweaty or how the hermits were being boring and should get better at pvp etc and it was just. not fun to be part of the community.

That all spilled over into Dream needing to be incredibly careful with his words, setting boundaries about not harassing Scott/Noxcrew, softening every criticism with praise so that dttwt wouldn't get up in arms about a non-issue all while ALSO having to retain his reputation with the redditors so that he wouldn't be tossed to the side the second he underperformed. That is to say, it felt stressful to be a fan, and in some mcc's he ended stream bowing under the pressure, apologizing for underperforming or not winning when it wasn't something that I think most of his viewers cared about, and it just made some mcc days feel like a downer because he couldn't just let himself have fun, he had to be the diplomat towards everyone.

This event, on the other hand, just felt a lot more welcoming. Partially, I think that's because of the fact that it's a FFA instead of a team tournament, but it's also just that it didn't feel like anyone was coming into the day with malicious intent nor odds stacked against him, and there were very few expectations of him other than "woah that's Dream the best minecrafter in the world he seems like a cool dude" where ppl acknowledged he was just some guy who's good at the game. He didn't need to be diplomatic per se, he could just be his corny, teasing self towards people like Spreen and Rubius and no one would have started a hate campaign towards him because they'd take it in jest, and he didn't have any statisticians to perform incredibly well for either. It was p obvious he wasn't nearly as wired as he normally is during mcc and it made it so much more fun that he could perform without the pressure we normally see him under. He was just hanging with his friends, being a goofball towards strangers, and having fun fucking around! Which, with the multifaceted pressure during MCC, just isn't possible.

disclaimer this is completely from the perspective of someone who has primarily watched Dream (and his close friends) for mcc since 2020 so these criticisms center around him !! so it's not really a general thing

[ageless-aislynn]

Aislynn and the Long Rambly Rambles about Video Games and Finishing My Halo WIPs and Potential Future Halo Fic Ideas and I Dunno Maybe I Should Finish My Last Two Flash WIPs 'Cause That Would Be Super Rad, Too, Right?™️

Finished! I had a lot of fun with Portal! I did finally manage to compensate for the weird "look to the side and look all the way up or down" problem I was having, thankfully. The puzzle aspect was awesome!

Now, since I'm here for a good time, not to be an amazing gamer, I'mma be straight with you: I looked up the answer whenever I got stuck. I tried all of the puzzles "cold" first and kept trying even when I had no idea what to do. Then, when I reached that first hint of ~~frustration~~, I just looked up the answer. Most of the time, I still had to work to get through it, so it wasn't a gimme. But I don't even care if it does. Like I said, I'm here for a good time, full stop. After really thinking I was never going to get to play any other games in my Steam library because of all of Georgette's serious computer issues, I'm just super happy to be playing again!

I may play the second Portal next, might just go for something else entirely.

I still want to finish Scott/Peebee and Scott/Jaal in Mass Effect: Andromeda but while I can't make any further GIFs, I'm not in a big hurry to do that next. I can still capture the footage, though, so might just have to do that and then hope Georgette will let me install Vegas. 🤞😣🤞

I also have Half-Life and Half-Life 2 and I believe they're connected to Portal in some way? Also have heard they're good games, so they're definitely on my to-play list.

Also there is, in no particular order:

Mass Effect Legendary Edition (got to finally experience the OT, after all!)

Dragon Age: Inquisition (I'm thinking this might slightly scratch my itch to play Baldur's Gate 3, since I'm waiting on that to go on sale)

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order (been looking forward to this one for a long time!)

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (another one I've been looking forward to for a while)

Tomb Raider (2013) (DEFINITELY been looking forward to this for ages and ages!)

Titanfall2 (have heard a lot of good things about this one; have also heard it's not too terribly long, which I'm looking for right now, I've got things like ME to play if I want something really long and involved but I'm honestly also looking for a few things that are less of a large time commitment to intersperse with the epic-sized games 😉)

Dead Rising 1, 2 and Off the Record (There are a few things about them I hope won't make me feel stressed out, I don't always do good with things that have time limits, but mannnn, I really want to try out all of the funny weapons and such that you can craft! So the plan is to not worry about "winning" just get in there and have fun!)

I've also got the Resident Evil Village demo but am kinda bummed that it's on a 30 minute time limit. So, like, if it takes me forever to get the hang of the controls, I might not get to see 5 minutes of gameplay. That'll suck. 😠It seems like it would've been better for the demo just to be a level or part of a level and if it takes you an hour to play it, what does it matter? You're still just playing that one little chunk they set aside for you to test out. Oh well, I'll give it a try out of these days.

The Resident Evil 4 remake demo isn't time-locked and you can replay it as much as you want, so I'm thinking about giving that a try. I dunno. I've watched a LOT of playthroughs in this franchise and I'd like to try them myself but I also know I can get skeeved out by body horror and sometimes survival horror in general just stresses me out. So, don't plan on picking up the full game of either of these until I get a chance to try out their demos at least. And I want them to be on a great sale in case I try the full game and then find myself going

Anyway, if you play games, what are you into these days?

Halo MCC will always be my comfort place, needless to say! Does anybody here do the weekly challenges? I love doing them! Just need 100 more points and I can buy everything on the final level/season/whatever they call it. I love getting new nameplates, lol!

Anyway, I did also do some writing today towards Camp NaNo and made my ridiculously low daily word par. I'm hoping to actually get all of the rest of "Recreation" and "15 Minutes" done in first draft form this month. That would be rad to just have to do final editing and get them posted in May! I'm going to miss them when they're done but I want to make sure that I get their story told, you know?

If I should achieve that goal, then I have a fluffy Vannak x Reader one-shot I'd like to finish. Then I realized if I do that, I'll have given everybody in Silver Team a Reader character except Riz. Can't have that, now can I? Riz is also MAH BB!

[cube-cumb3r]

this whole mcc pride event discourse is weird to me because no one has ever fucking given a shit about representation before as far as I'm aware. and sure it would be nice if Scott had gotten a wider range of queer and lgbt creators, I would've liked it as well, but we know that they have to be well known enough to draw in any sort of audience, plus the criteria on this event was super strict, which maybe they should avoid next time if they do a similar event in the future.

but what also grinds my gears is that this wasn't supposed to be any sort of lgbt panel for nuanced discussions about the wide range of lgbt experiences across the spectrum, it's an event made to raise money for a CHARITY. technically all the them could've been cishet because the main goal of the event was to raise money!?

additionally, a lot of people are bringing up that a lot of the players are white, which is completely true, but that's a problem /separate/ from lgbt representation and also a problem that has been present in EVERY mcc so it feels disingenuous to only bring it up now.

what bothers me the most is that this discourse only seemed to spring up after technoblade was announced as a player too. I guess that's why the discourse feels like it's in bad faith. especially because none of them have ever given a shit about representation in mcc before. people seem to care more about a shitty tasteless joke technoblade made when he was 17 rather than the unfathomable amounts of money he will manage to raise thru his generous donators. and how much good that will do. it feels extremely selfish to me, just don't watch technoblade if you're uncomfortable with him (which is ok, for the record.)

that being said, I do wish they had better representation in mcc as well, both in the pride event but also in regular mcc. I think it's absolutely an important discussion to have, but the context in which it's being brought up right now doesn't feel genuine.

[efterjoes]

A (critical) love letter to the Mint Maids!

Alright obviously I'm disappointed in how low the mint maids placed especially with all of the predictions putting them in 9th BUT regardless of their result they were SUCH a fun team...

This might be a very unpopular opinion but i really hope this sets a precedent for bringing back hermit-adjacent teams without a "carry", obviously some of the best players can be very sweet and encouraging such as pete, H, fruit and illumina, but false, ren (and co.) have proved time and time again that they are very capable - obviously this MCC wasn't the best example to show but there were some potential factors as to why they did not manage to overcome the expectations:

The maids were clearly not taking the competition aspect too seriously - martyn was promoting the charity (go donate!), not much strategy was discussed prior to each game. HITW also had a LOT of conversation even while some of the teammates were still alive.

The lack of practice - of course false had a mini practice stream the day prior but it seemed like the team had not planned out their mode of attack prior to the event and even though the team had great chemistry it seemed like most of the decisions that they made as a team were improvised/unplanned. False also MASSIVELY underperformed in HITW, the entire team in SOT, Grid Runners and Build Mart, False and Ren in TGTTOS - we've seen very strong showings from their past appearances and we know they're capable of more, even though they...

...lacked a clear leader! The leader doesn't necessarily have to be a top player, they just have to call the shots. We've seen glimpses of martyn and false showing great leadership in survival games and skybattle and that's what helped them survive and place as high as they did.

Martyn's weird monitor thing! Definitely a smaller factor as it only affected 1 of the 4

Thus, I am a firm believer that the mint maids could have done better IF they were in the right mindset to do so - from the point of view of competition, bantering about "wooo let's go 7th place pov" from the very start isn't that great, but yes obviously I love them for it. False and Ren generally struggle with confidence in MCC even if their company is very light-hearted anyway.

Someone on here made a great point about ren and false sacrificing their own individual pointage for the sake of the team which makes them fantastic team players and their low individual scores for this event are extremely misrepresentative of their value on the team. The only thing that was lacking was a working synergy with the rest of the team - in spite of everyone's great chemistry with each other, it's clear that they needed some practice as a team - Joel and Ren had never been paired in MCC before, Martyn had only teamed with FalseRen once. Refer to my lack of practice argument

Either way, it's super nice to see the senior mint maids in their prime, obviously I'm very happy to have chosen to watch them live as my POV of choice - it just was and is frustrating to see comments about them as if they had no chance at all to succeed just because they don't have fruit or pete "carrying" them. They came under 2000 points under the 8th-place team, and they obviously underperformed like hell. Team the hermits with scott and shubble maybe! Or kara and jordan! Martyn and joel 2.0! The possibilities are endless!

[limelocked]

Fixing MCC

MCC has a problem and when I say that I’m not talking about how scuffed individual games might be or the tech intensive nature of its venue, I’m talking about a more fundamental problem to the event; its branding.

MCC is a “for fun” even but it’s getting more and more competitive in an unchecked manner that seems from an outside perspective to be influencing the competitors in a negative way (dream/sapnap being upset about perceived unfairness in the event, hbomb and scott getting harassment over that percieved unfairness, technoblade talking about the pressure to overperform to avoid getting flack, and inthelittlewood saying that playing in Dodgebolt makes him feel genuinely physically sick) which at least to me constitutes as feelings and concerns one wouldn’t have in a “for fun” event.

MCC being competitive isn’t a bad thing! Don’t get me wrong! But there is a problem with this and we cannot just put it on “rabid fans” because those fans are sports fans, they act like football fans, and I think that those fans are misunderstanding what MCC is supposed to be because actions (how the vibes of the event are) speak louder than the words (everyone insisting that it’s purely for fun).

So here are some suggestions on how to make this event better. The ideas aren’t perfect but personally I think they fit the growing needs of MCC.

1. Split MCC in two Splitting MCC into two leagues (called A and B for convenience) would lessen the condensed toxicity towards the one individual event and give more MCC to the fandom even though, in this hypothetical, it would be played the same amount as with the current schedule.

League A would be as MCC is right now, it would be just as competitive but with more transparent messaging about this to the participants and to fans over social media. League B would be something not unlike a non-canon MCC where winning isn’t what’s supposed to be the fun in the event. This league may have different achievements set in the winners hall (longest distance flown with an elytra for example instead of fastest time in the TGTTOS flight tunnels) and a generally bigger focus on whimsy.

League A would play one month, the B league would play the next, so on and so forth, giving us the same amount of MCC but different.

2. Rotating cast While I love the OGs of MCC I’ll admit that it’s getting stale and the few new players added every event are having a harder time catching up with the skill curve even with the dedicated practice server because competing in MCC is unlike practice and most general Minecraft prowess while in actual play due to the added pressure of playing live.

If the split leagues were implemented in company with this change then I’d suggest that the B league would have a far larger portion of newer members that would after a few appearances be able to move to league A. MCC OGs that want a more fun and less stressful/competitive MCC should also be allowed to play here, though with lower priority over newer members.

3. The most important point; Internal Consistency If only one thing changes then I want it to be this one; MCC needs to choose what it wants to be and apply it universally and be transparent to viewers about it. Contradictory information between what happens in the event and its brand recognition will not help in the toxicity that MCC is breeding right now.

- If it wants to remain as a fun and wacky minigame event then my suggestion would be to suffer the viewing numbers tanking and drop some of the more competitive people and boost newer voices. - If it wants to be competitive then add catch-up mechanics for the lower placing teams (such as letting the lower half of teams choose a game to be played perhaps after the audience blackout round).

Whatever happens: MCC needs to be transparent to fans both in the event (via how the event is actually played) and on social media about what it wants to be so that the confusion between fans isn’t there.

And I hope this is already happening behind closed doors, but it also needs be said that MCC should handle internal strife between participants and notify new competitors of how participating feels (re: stress, self defeatism, etc) so that they can work around those problems when they’re noticed in the event because the players mental health Is Important.

But that is all for me, I hope that MCC will continue to improve and be an enjoyable event into the far future!

[riacte]

I’m going to put some thoughts about MCCP Pink Parrots under the cut (not all are positive, so if you don’t want me to be a party pooper please don’t read)

I know people (*cough* Twitter) have issues with this team because they’re all Cis Het White Males and one made a “lesbiophobic joke” five years ago or something. I agree that it’s probably better to “split the clout” to uplift other creators, especially with three (3) Clout People in the same team (unlike the infamous Pink8 which only had Two Clout People), but I understand why Scott made this decision.

This team feels almost specifically made to hype people up, and the combination will attract people to watch and donate, thus raising more money. While representation is good, I think money raised to practically help people > representation this time. Because this is a charity Pride stream, not just a Pride stream. Raising money is the focus here. Famous cishet white male allies can raise a lot of money. Money can help people. These are all facts whether you like it or not. And if you want to see more LGBTQA+ creators in MCC, support them. If you don’t like a certain creator, don’t watch their team. The end.

Don’t know too much about the other three, but I think Grian is good at hosting charity streams. I’ve watched his Love Tropics stream with Iskall (2019?), the first SOS Africa stream with Ren (2020), the MCC 9 stream (2020), and the second SOS Africa stream with Ren, Bdubs, and Scar (2021). Throughout the streams, Grian is consistently respectful and humble. He urges his viewers to donate by patiently talking about the cause in simple terms (since he knows a lot of kids watch him) but without being patronising. Grian also loves putting numbers into things people can measure (eg. How many hot meals can this sum of money buy, if everyone watching right now donated $1 we can reach our goal). Grian also knows his privilege and mentions he’s just a well off guy playing video games in a comfortable place. When Ren thanked him for supporting his fellow South Africans, Grian replied with “we’re all human”. So I believe Grian will spend a lot of his MCCP stream urging viewers to donate, reading out donations, appreciating donations, etc etc. Grian knows his influence and knows how to use it for good. Someone on Twitter mentioned Grian seemed like the type of person to skip this MCC to give more slots for other creators, and I agreed, but then Grian probably thought he could use his influence for good (considering he had MAJOR success for all his past charity streams).

So all in all, I do think this team can raise a lot of money for a good cause. I am okay with this team. But personally I still have some slight issues that probably don’t matter much, but I need to get them out because it’s been eating me alive. All of these so-called “issues” have to do with fanbases, not CCs. Just because I don’t like part of a CCs’ fanbase doesn’t mean I don’t like the CC.

1. This team will probably intensify the “Grian Is The Only Hermit” phenomenon.

A lot of famous CCs only seem to know Grian out of everybody in Hermitcraft (despite False being in every MCC since debut except the non canon ones). They are somewhat akin to the “Grian Only Hermitcraft Watchers”/ “Grumbo YouTube Stan Army”. There’s nothing wrong with knowing Grian only, or only watching Grian, but most of the times the gigantic population of “Grian Only Stans” will neglect Literally Every Other Hermit (except maybe Mumbo). Even when Grian teams with hermits. Hermitcraft fans are mostly used to this bullshit, and they just nicely try to introduce Grian Only Stans to other hermits (which works most of the time).

So to Techno and Wilbur’s fans (I assume Jimmy’s fans are quite familiar with Grian), they’ll go “omg Grian!! Builder!!! Hermitcrafter!!”. This will introduce a bunch of people to Grian/ Hermitcraft (which is great!) but it has a good chance of evolving into the good ole “Grian is the only hermit that matters” thing. Simply because of popularity.

I actually wanted False-Grian-Techno-Wilbur, because Techno and Wilbur actually know False. Techno of course acknowledged her in Dodgebolt, and False and Wilbur have a surprisingly long history of trolling/ annoying each other (from MCC5-9). Wilbur notably trolled Yellow8 and Blue9 by covering up the letters on their uniforms (both hermit teams WITHOUT GRIAN), and when Grian ignored Wilbur around MCC7 Battle Box, Wilbur chose to annoy False instead. False in return seems to notice Wilbur a tiny bit more than general MCC participants (another one she notices is Fundy), such as being amused/annoyed when he overtakes her in Ace Race and gleefully cheering when Wilbur falls.

False is probably the hermit/ hermit adjacent sans Mr Golden Boi Grian with the most “connections” to SBI, Techno and Wilbur know her (Techno forgot about her in MCC 11 but whatever), and she can deal with the three clout people. Which brings me to the next point.

2. Jimmy Solidarity my beloved…

Naturally, Jimmy has already been neglected because he’s the only one who doesn’t have a lot of “clout”. This is different from the last megaclout team Pink8, because Michael and Burren could “lack clout” together. This time, Jimmy doesn’t have anyone with a similar popularity with him. Red10 made me a little more concerned (viewers have pointed out he seems a little bit neglected by the rest of his teammates, especially during DB when they were shittalking Jimmy’s friends).

CCs wise, they will probably/ hopefully be nice and kind (I say hopefully because I cannot trust anyone from DSMP other than HBomb), everyone will get along, no one will be excluded, everyone is happy.

The toxic fans will probably be rabid towards Jimmy (by extension Grian) if they make even a slight mistake, which is why I’m worried about putting a small/medium sized creator with the BIG BIG creators. But, eh. Toxic people will be toxic no matter what. This isn’t an issue exclusive to Pink Parrots.

3. Clashing attitudes?

Hermits and their friends advocate arrow split. Techno does not. What will happen if this team gets to Dodgebolt? Previously, Grian has always been on “arrow split” teams and greatly enjoyed them. Scott has taken care to put people with similar attitudes together. Now what? I have hope that they’re all mature and can compromise, but eh. Grian is strongly against arrow funnelling and calls it not-gentlemanly. I feel Techno will probably let Grian have a few shots since this is a for fun MCC, but what if they get teamed again for some competitive MCC? They’ll probably work it out, but what might their fanbases think?

To conclude, big fanbases = big benefits + big problems. This is not exclusive to Pink Parrots. In fact, I think this is probably the best mix of builders and clout people for this scenario (I personally do not want to see False-Puffy or Ren-Dream). Techno and Wilbur’s fanbases are already the nicer part of the DSMP fanbase.

The most important part is raising money of course, and the silly “issues” I mentioned above don’t mean anything in comparison. Why care about online matters when the money can help people in the real world?

That being sad, I was just a tiny bit salty and I had to get this out. Nonetheless I’m happy about this team, will definitely be interesting (selfishly hope they don’t win because Twitter will be mad a team of cishets won). Anyways, if you’ve read up to here, thank you for reading my ramblings.

[smaidjor]

and i pay for my place by the ring (Chapter 1)

Hey guys! Welcome to another angsty fic by yours truly, provider of flower husbands pain.

Some things you should know before you jump into this:

1. This is a companion fic to my fic "i know they're losing". You can understand it without having read the other one, since it's the same story from two different POVs but I think the overall experience is better with both!

2. The overall title of each fic is from the mitski song I bet on losing dogs. Chapter titles are from the Last Goodbye from the Hobbit films.

3. There is a lot of lord of the rings lore in both fics, and I mean a lot. You may be kinda confused if you've never read tolkien's works. It will all be explained eventually, though!

4. With the fact that it's a companion fic and a lot of people came here from Jimmy's POV in mind- this is a lot heavier of a fic. The content warnings are heavier and the angst is more intense. You have been warned.

(Obligatory disclaimer that this is about characters, not ccs, and do not ship real people, as always!)

Chapter Title: to these memories i will hold

Chapter Wordcount: 4000

Content warnings: suicidal thoughts, self-esteem issues, panic attacks, past death, very frank discussion of death. (In general, if suicide or death are triggering topics for you, this is probably not the fic for you. Stay safe and take care of yourself!)

AO3

Actual fic under the cut:

Scott didn’t expect to survive 3rd life. No one did, he thinks, but especially not him. Clever, clever Scott, who knew his fate too well for his own good. He could have chosen his allies carefully, he knows, could have played on their emotions to make them think he was loyal until the moment he turned on them to win. He knew who the strongest factions and warriors were, the most cunning and intelligent participants in this death game they were forced into. Instead, he chose Jimmy. Sweet, dopey Jimmy, who had the personality of a golden retriever and only a handful of braincells at any given time. Jimmy, who was worth more than all the stars in the sky to him. Who made him feel alive . No, Scott didn’t expect to win. Not when it was Jimmy by his side- when it was Jimmy by his side, winning didn’t matter. All that mattered was Jimmy’s blush when Scott pressed a kiss to his cheek, the way his hair looked like gold in the sunlight and his smile lit up Scott’s whole world.

After Jimmy died, Scott stopped wanting to survive 3rd life. What was the point? The stars can shine on without the sun, but all life on Earth would wither and die. The same happened to Scott’s broken, bitter heart, he found. Jimmy was the first person in years to love him truly, wholly, with no strings attached; it was terrifying how quickly Scott fell for the first person to look at him and not expect him to be anything but what he was. Scott’s world, which used to be mountain peaks and endless blue sky, narrowed to warm brown eyes and a grin like sunshine quicker than he could comprehend. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, it all came back to him. What was Scott without Jimmy? The unwanted twin, the unloved child, the un-elven elf. Because who cared if he was a good shot with a bow or good at organizing teams or building pretty little houses? He would always be second-born, second-best.

It was fitting, really, that when Scott died, he died alone. Some might find it ironic that the man who knew enough people to fill the roster of a championship held by a god every month died without a single person to witness it save his enemies, but in the end, it was always going to be like this, Scott knew. He hadn’t been there to see Jimmy die, he hadn’t been able to hold him in his final moments and soothe the agony of death. Maybe this was his punishment. He wouldn’t be surprised; the gods of this world did not smile on him and never would. Why should they, when he had failed the only person who had ever found him good enough?

When he woke up in Rivendell, he was almost disappointed. Almost. He considered ditching the rest of the elves, up and leaving to somewhere that didn’t make it feel like the noose of immortality was slowly tightening around his neck. If nothing else, Noxite would let him crash at the MCC server for a bit until he found somewhere to go. And yet, in the end, Scott’s stubborn sense of duty won out. The elves needed a ruler. Xornoth had disappeared to god knows where, and though they had been braver, wiser, better in every way, Scott was the one who had stayed. Who was willing to take up the crown that weighed so heavily on its bearers. So Scott, who no one ever expected to rule, took up the burden of leadership.

Now, he tries and fails to get out of bed and wonders what the point of that even was. He’s fading, and worse than that, he’s fading over a human. His ancestors are probably rolling in their graves. Rivendell will be leaderless within a decade, and this time there are no heirs to take control. Not even a ‘spare’ like Scott used to be. What a mess.

There are footsteps on the stairs. They’re unfamiliar, meaning they could be a threat, but he’s too tired to bother sitting up. If he dies, well- it’s inevitable, really, in the same way watching the mortals he loves dies is.

The person comes around the corner, and Scott realizes with no joy that he won’t be dying today after all. Katherine looks both curious and concerned, but her voice tilts towards the latter when she asks “Scott?” and then, more hesitantly  “Lord Smajor?”

He blinks at her, exhausted. “Hi, Katherine.”

“I came to talk to you about some empires stuff, but, I mean, if this is a bad time, I can come back later…?” She sounds so thrown off by his state that Scott almost feels bad.

Whatever it is, it must be important if she’s come all the way here, though, so he gestures her to a chair. “No, no, stay. I can muster the energy for a meeting, just don’t ask me to get up.”

Katherine takes the seat. “I came to talk about the corruption on the server, but- are you okay? Are you sick?”

Nothing about the question is funny in any way, but Scott laughs regardless. “In a way, yes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Take my hand.” He offers it out, knowing the unnatural cold is unsettling no matter if you’re elven or not. Katherine does as he asks, the concern on her face only growing as she grips his icy hand.

“Elves don’t get sick like mortals do,” Scott explains. “Nor do we die of old age. But we get...heartsickness, you might call it. We call it fading in our tongue- the cold hands are a symptom of that. Our souls are fragile, and the grief of the mortal plane can be overwhelming. If an elf is too struck by it, they fade away and die.” The words taste bitter on his tongue, a frank reminder of the slow and painful death that awaits him.

Katherine gasps, and Scott knows he’s alarmed her.

He goes on, though. “It usually happens to old elves, world-weary.” Ironic, it’s ironic that he’s saying that as a young elf explaining his own death. “Those who are tired of existence. But any elf who has experienced enough grief is at risk.”

Her face is nothing short of horrified. “You’re- fading? But doesn’t it usually happen to old elves? Wait, are you old?”

“I’m fifty-five.”

“Is that old?”

He has to laugh. “Fifty is the elven equivalent of eighteen for humans, the age of maturity.” Though he feels so much older than that, both in elven terms and in human.

“Oh.”

There’s a moment of silence, then, “How can you be so calm if you’re dying?”

“I’m tired, Katherine. The world tore me away from the people I loved, and..I’m tired of fighting it.” He’s so, so exhausted. So sick of having to claw and scrape and struggle for the barest scraps of happiness.

“Is there a way to reverse fading- to fix it?” Katherine sounds so hopeful that the question seems almost naive even though she’s far more capable of a ruler than he is. Naive in the affairs of elves, maybe, much as she’s intelligent in so many other ways.

Scott tries not to flinch at the innocent inquiry, thinking about the deaths from fading that he’s watched. “Technically, yes. If an elf recovers enough emotionally, it’s reversible. But whatever caused them to fade the first time can- and often does- cause it again.” And again, and again, until there’s nothing to be done but let them die , he finishes in his head.

Katherine nods, a look of determination overtaking the hope. “We’ll just have to reverse it, then.”

“That’s sweet, Katherine, but I’m dying.”

“No. You’re not going to die. Now come on, you can show me your empire while I fill you in on what’s happening on the rest of the continent.” She sounds so firm that he doesn’t dare disobey, though his exhaustion makes a fair effort at convincing him to. Will this really fix anything? Unlikely. But it’s worth it to try, if only to humor Katherine. At least this way she’ll have the comfort of having tried to save him when he inevitably fades away into nothing

Scott takes her hand, though it brings him little warmth, cold from her trek here. “Alright.” He swallows the bitter grief in his throat before it can seep into his words. “We can try.”

He leads Katherine around Rivendell, taking some pride in the way she oohs over the decor. If there’s one thing he can do right, it’s building. While some elven rulers might see it as below themselves to help build houses for their citizens, Scott finds building soothing. It’s one of the few skills he picked up during his time away that people really appreciate; no one wants to live in a shitty house.

As they walk, she also tells Scott about the demon, Xornoth. “The demon’s already visited a lot of people, I think. Gem and Shubble for sure, and Fwhip and Sausage. That’s not even mentioning the corruption that’s been spreading.”

If Scott said that the name Xornoth didn’t make him flinch, he would be lying to himself. It’s not your sibling , he tells himself. It’s just a coincidence .

It’s through the virtue of years of lying that his voice comes out steady. “There’s corruption in Rivendell too. Likely Xornoth’s work. And given that Jimmy still has Vilya-” his heart doesn’t ache when he says Jimmy’s name, it doesn’t- “well, I haven’t been able to do much.”

“Vilya?” Katherine asks.

“A ring of power. My inheritance from the Noldor.”

“Why does Jimmy have it?”

He doesn’t answer. He won’t- can’t talk about Jimmy, not without remembering how he looked with an arrow through his throat, bright smile gone and face frozen in fear. How does he explain how much Jimmy meant to him? How much he’s now giving up, knowing he’ll have to lose it one way or another?

Katherine drops the topic, seemingly sensing that she’s stumbled on something sensitive. When she has to go home, she leaves with a friendly goodbye and a promise to visit, and Scott believes neither. Who would put the effort into visiting him? He’s not a good friend, he’s not a good king, and god knows he’s not a good husband. In fact, he’s actively avoiding his husband. He may have kept the pufferfish Jimmy gave him, but that doesn’t mean anything. He can’t fall in love with Jimmy again. Loving Jimmy will kill him. (Scott ignores the small voice at the back of his head that whispers that he’s still in love with Jimmy and it’s already killing him just as he always knew it would.)

To his surprise, Katherine does come back next week, and the week after that. He’s ashamed to admit it, but there’s some part of him that’s pathetically grateful when she shows up at his doorstep. It’s a chance to not be alone . Much as he dreads the day when she finally gives up on him, it’s nice that someone cares enough to try and save him from himself.

The third week, Katherine doesn’t show up. Instead, the footsteps on the stairs are familiar in a way that makes Scott’s heart twist painfully.

He takes a deep breath. “Hello, Jimmy.”

“How’d you know it was me?” Jimmy asks. Scott can tell he’s startled by the way his voice goes up, almost frightened.

Scott steels himself, taking a deep breath before rolling over to face his ex-husband. ��Do you think I could ever forget the sound of your footsteps?” He forces himself to not get distracted staring at Jimmy, instead going on before Jimmy can open his mouth. “What are you doing here?”

“Katherine asked me to visit, I’m not sure why, but...here I am. Say, why is she visiting every week?” Jimmy’s so curious. So naive, as always.

Scott laughs, bitter. “Katherine thinks she can save me.”

“Save you from what?”

Scott hears the concern in Jimmy’s words, and he can’t bring himself to break the news. It’s not as if it matters. It’s not as if Jimmy would care; he came here because of Katherine. Maybe he cared at the start of Empires, but Scott’s been nothing but rude to him since. There’s no reason for him to care. (He cares. Scott’s lying, like always. Jimmy cares and Scott knows it.)

“Save you from what?” Jimmy asks again, more insistently.

He refuses to say it. He needs Jimmy out, out of his room and out of his life before he does something he’ll regret. “You should go.” To prove his point, he tries to stand, finding himself too dizzy to quite pull it off. Jimmy rushes to catch him, and Scott hates himself just a little for how that still gives him a warm feeling.

“Scott, what is going on?”

He brushes Jimmy off, letting go of his arm and hurrying for the stairs. He can’t let Jimmy work his way into his heart again; Scott won’t be strong enough to let him go this time.

“Scott, seriously! Answer me, are you okay? What’s happening?” Jimmy sounds almost angry, but Scott can hear the distress under it and that’s what breaks him.

“I’m fading, alright?” His voice nearly breaks at the concern on Jimmy’s face when he whirls to face him. “I’m dying, now leave me alone!”

Jimmy sputters, seemingly caught off guard. “You- what- but elves don’t die, right?”

“We do. From poison, from swords-” Scott thinks back to third life- “from arrows through the throat, from grief.” The words come out more raw than he intends, leaving him scrambling to recover his composure. He takes a deep breath in and out, forcing his voice to steady again. “Come on. If you’re not going to leave, I might as well show you around.”

“You can’t just drop something like that on a man, you know!” Jimmy calls after him, although Scott can hear his footsteps following as well.

“You did ask, to be fair.” Scott replies. His voice is calm. He’s fine.

“I guess so, but- but still, dude.”

Scott pushes open the side door, holding it for Jimmy. “Here.”

Jimmy nods and slips through the door.  “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Scott starts towards the bridges, intending to show Jimmy the enchanting tower and then the door. He doesn’t care about how fast he’s walking, Jimmy can keep up. He’s taller than Scott and probably has better balance at the moment too. Scott’s struggling not to fall, honestly, but his pride won’t let him go slower.

Jimmy breaks the awkward silence with the question Scott least wants to hear. “So, uh..are we going to talk about 3rd life?”

“No,” Scott says firmly.

“Why not? We need to talk about it some time-”

“I said no .” He can’t talk about it.

“It’s literally killing you to not talk about it!”

The words strike right at the raw wound of Jimmy’s death, and Scott freezes. Inhales. Exhales. Tries to keep calm.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Scott!” Jimmy cries. He sounds so upset, Scott’s heart aches. “I dare you, tell me I’m wrong! Tell me you never cared about me, tell me you didn’t bother to bury me, tell me it didn’t hurt even a little when I died! Tell me I was just stupid little Jimmy, a toy for an elf who’d live far beyond my lifespan! Tell me whatever, just tell me the truth! ”

Scott takes a deep breath. “Fine. You want to know what happened after you died?” He can’t think straight through the rage clouding his head, the desperate need to prove that Jimmy’s wrong , that Scott loved him so much it’s killing him. “You want to hear about me screaming until my throat went raw? You want to know that I kissed your face and sobbed and begged you to wake up, over and over until I couldn’t speak at all? You want to live with the knowledge that Grian had to physically pull me away from your body? Is that what you want to hear, Jimmy? ” His voice damn near breaks on his husband’s name, and Scott thanks the gods he stopped believing in a long time ago that it doesn’t.

“No,” Jimmy says. His voice is soft, gentle, almost as if Scott is a wounded animal that needs a delicate touch. “That’s not what I want to hear, not at all. I’d rather you be happy than love me.”

The words punch the air from Scott’s lungs, raw and soft and real. Scott is an excellent liar. Jimmy isn’t. Scott knows that Jimmy is telling the truth. What he doesn’t know is how to handle that level of devotion. He wonders again how Jimmy- sweet, genuine Jimmy who wears his heart on his sleeve and is hopelessly devoted to an elf who can’t be fully his- chose Scott of all people. Scott, who’s as bitter as Jimmy is sweet, who’s sarcastic and snarky and hasn’t been good enough for just about anything in his life. He certainly wasn’t good enough to save Jimmy, Scott thinks bitterly.

He shakes off the thought. “I buried you on the hill above our houses. I planted a poppy over your grave.”

“Oh.”

“Grian came over the next day. I didn’t want to see anyone who wasn’t you, but I let him in because I had to. He helped me do the straps on my armor and asked me if he could do anything else to make things easier. I told him to bury me next to you.”

“Did he?”

Scott almost laughs at the innocent question. “How would I know? Grian was honorable enough, though, loyal to his allies. I like to think he did.”

“He was a good guy,” Jimmy agrees. “A little bit bloodthirsty, I guess, but good. I don’t suppose he survived any better than the rest of us, though maybe being bloodthirsty helped.”

“Maybe.”

“Can I- can I ask you why you hate me so much now?” Jimmy’s tone is uncertain, hesitant and it hurts . “I mean, if you mourned me in third life and all.”

Scott looks away from his earnest gaze, but he can’t stop the truth slipping out. “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?” Jimmy asks, seemingly bewildered. “But you burned the pufferfish-”

“I didn’t. I kept it.” Scott doesn’t want to think about this, wants to say it even less. “I never hated you. I don’t think I’m capable of it.”

“Then why do you keep avoiding me?”

“I’ve been kind of busy dying,” Scott says wryly, unable to resist a bit of morbid humor at his own expense.

“Scott! That’s not funny!”

“It was a little funny.”

“No!”

Jimmy sounds genuinely distressed, and Scott drops the wry smile. “Jimmy, I’m an elf. I won’t live far beyond you, but only because I’ll fade without you.” It’s a simple statement. The truth, as much as he can give.

“So your solution is to isolate yourself and fade now?” Jimmy’s outrage is justifiable, but Scott just shrugs.

“It does sound stupid when you put it like that, doesn’t it?” It really does. “But I lost you once, and I don’t think I could bear it again.”

A hand lands on Scott’s arm, and he turns, startled. Jimmy doesn’t give him time to react, throwing his arms around Scott and pulling him close. Scott almost lets out a very undignified squeak at the sudden contact, though he slowly relaxes into Jimmy’s hold.

He should pull away. He shouldn’t give Jimmy false hope like this. But Jimmy is so warm , and Scott is so unbearably cold. Every fiber of his being is screaming that this is what’s right; screw Rivendell and obligations and too-heavy crowns, Jimmy is home to him. He’s warm for the first time in months, and the most heartbreaking part is that it can’t last. He can’t do this again.

He pulls away, ignoring the painful hope on Jimmy’s face. “I’m sorry, Jimmy.” For the first time all conversation, his voice well and truly wobbles. “I can’t. Not again.”

“But-”

Scott shakes his head. “Losing you will destroy me. We dared to love, and now all we can do now is lessen the pain when it all comes crashing down.” The words are like glass in his throat, but he forces them out anyways. They have to be said.

Jimmy’s silent, and it hurts more than if Jimmy had yelled at him.

“Goodbye, Jimmy,” Scott manages, turning away before Jimmy can see the way his face twists in pain. He makes his retreat as quickly as possible, stumbling and nearly taking a tumble just before he reaches the door. Unlike before, there’s no helpful ex-husband there to catch him, to make sure he’s alright and ask a million questions until Scott’s forced to admit that he’s not okay and hasn’t been in a long time.

He fumbles with the latch, hands shaking and vision blurring. Finally, it clicks, and Scott stumbles inside and slams the door shut before sliding to the ground. He won’t cry. He won’t . He doesn’t love Jimmy, he can’t love Jimmy anymore. Jimmy was never meant to be his. They might have carved out a few precious moments, stolen them from the universe and giggled like kids with their hands in the cookie jar as they kissed amongst the flowers, but those brief moments were all they were ever going to be allowed. It was always going to end this way, Scott tells himself. There’s no use crying over a mortal who will be dead in the blink of an eye to an elf. What would his parents say? That this was typical of him, probably. Typical Scott, always wanting what he would never be able to have. Typical, predictable Scott, loving a mortal who shouldn’t be worth anything to him.

He’s crying. There are tears spotting his cyan robes, splashing onto the wood floors he worked so hard on. Scott rubs at his eyes furiously, but that only makes it worse, sobs shuddering through him and leaving him hollow and aching. He’s so cold . The ache in his chest has returned tenfold, stealing away his breath, and he curls further into himself, struggling for air.

He’s going to die. He is going to die , alone on the floor of his house because he fell for someone he couldn’t have. For all that he’s spent every minute since Jimmy’s death in 3rd life wishing for some way out of this cruel world, he’s terrified now that it seems inevitable. He’s scared in a way he hasn’t been in forever, breath coming quick and shallow. He's scared, and he is so, so tired of this ache that haunts him, the chill that he can never get rid of.

“Jimmy,” Scott whispers. There’s no way for the human to hear him, but the name brings him some comfort. “ Jimmy .” He wants his husband. He wants someone to hug him. He doesn’t want to fade away freezing and alone, no one there to hold his hand or reassure him that the pain will be over soon. Internally, he begs for someone, anyone who cares to come looking. To find him, even if they’re too late to save him. Someone. Anyone. Please.

No one comes, and Scott lays on his floor until his breathing steadies out again. His head spins when he forces himself to his feet, and he has to lean against the wall for a few moments. There’s no time for dramatics, he tells himself sternly. He has a kingdom to rule. He cannot afford to break over a mortal he never should have fallen for in the first place. He doesn’t love Jimmy anymore, he can’t .

(He’s lying. But Scott has always been an excellent liar, even when it’s to himself.)

[cupidlakes]

yeah i think the changes would have been better if the new stuff was put in the tips notification in the beginning, not ruining the ‘surprise! changes’ element but not relying on people being aware that the whole system has changed

that’s true!! i don’t know how much it would’ve helped yesterday seeing as ppl barely read the tips in the beginning (i’m sure some do but the povs i watch usually skip over them) but at least they (noxcrew) could’ve made the case that they alluded to those changes and ppl could be more careful for next time and anticipate that stuff and read through them at the beginning of the games more properly

i also recognise there is some luck to some of the games in mcc like that one tgttos game where it’s just fall guys and you have to pick a door, the thing about that is it isn’t nearly as time consuming if you mess up and there’s still a clear end unlike that one game where you had to break blocks and tower up that george didn’t even finish and i don’t think it’s because he’s a bumbling idiot again it was honestly just confusing

honestly i don’t have a huge problem w/ the confusing maps at the end of the day it is what it is! noxcrew are always striving to do things bigger and better, it’s also a super cool free event and whatnot that’s why ppl should also be more forgiving abt glitches (god so many ppl abuse glitches in the event and it’s just funny to watch and also totally out of their control like wilbur glitch anyone? i also think even george glitched through the walls a few times) quack and george also pointed out that the ace race map was really cool once you got used to it, it’s literally just that some of the directions you had to take were so counterintuitive? the very end of the map obviously should not have screwed everyone over like that there was no skill to recognising immediately where to go it was almost luck and then scott had the benefit of having seen the map beforehand and made callouts to his teams which i don’t necessarily blame him for btw! the subreddit is in flames about this but he’s always usually been wary about giving information knowing he’s at an advantage

i’ve watched his povs before and also how he’s played w/ people like dream and recognise he’s always wanted to be fair abt giving ppl mcc knowledge/tips in the event that he makes sure are either already known or stuff that’s discussed often and it isn’t like secret knowledge about new maps and mechanics or anything (i’m aware the ace race map was changed btw, but it must’ve been strikingly similar for scott to have barely slipped up the same way so many of the other players did even members of his own team) genuinely i just think he’s a nice person who maybe got caught up in the fact it was a new season and there were changes and he wanted to be a helpful presence to his team and not leave them in the dark in the moment but let it slip his mind that that technically isn’t fair to the other teams

but again blah blah the event is over honestly congrats to aqua! i do really want to watch wisps pov, this isn’t me being a shooter for gg btw because they were doomed from the start almost, the energy just wasn’t there and the confusing nature of the games kinda contributed to it as time went on and it was kinda sad but we move you know? they seemed okay w/ the losses, dream esp rolled w/ the punches quite well not to be like growth but honestly, growth! poor thing seemed like a bundle of nerves even george was like damn you were crazy nervy bro but hey there’s always next time and yeah... mcc is always fun regardless it’s just also fun to talk abt the scuffedness and event happenings generally

[mihidecet]

Sbi&CO d&d AU: Scott Smajor Character Analysis

It’s time for our all time favourite tournament organizer!!! Strap in friends, it’s Scott Smajor loving hours thanks to @hismilw ‘s lovely request! They asked for a character analysis for Scott in the D&D AU, which is extremely good because I’d been meaning to add him to the canon for a while now!! (And now, with MCC becoming part of the story, it’s even more appropriate!)

I also want to thank @octopus-defence-squad for being able to come up with such brilliant ideas for the MCC tournament in the au! They’ve given me so much inspiration and I can’t thank them enough ahahha

So, Scott! This time, his character is inspired a bit more on his role in the story, instead of only considering his actual online persona. 

This is mainly because, in our au, Scott Major is one of the organizers for this grandiose tournament that takes place once every year in a medium sized and primarily tourist town. 

And since him, Noxite and his crew have to build the stages for the tournament every year, there’s no better class to give him other than the Wizard! 

Wizards in d&d are scholars, people that spend a lot of time studying and practicing, and while they do have a bit of “fame” for being nerds, they are also extremely strong spellcasters. 

Therefore, the idea for Scott as a mage and as the headmaster of a wizard school academy was born.

Now, wizards in d&d have got subclasses too, which are centered around a specific “school” of magic. This is because spells in d&d are all divided in different categories, sort of like types of music, and the subclasses kind of reflect that.

So, the initial concept for Scott was a version of him that would allow him to be in a fake creative mode, in order to allow him to work on builds and general organization. But the thing is, the Conjuration subclass, which is centered around making things out of thin air and summoning beings, isn’t really ��� that strong in my personal opinion. Yes, it is pretty good, but … since wizard subclasses don’t restrain the types of spells you can learn, they just add perks to your magic abilities, the Conjuration subclass just doesn’t hold up in comparison to others. 

[basically, if you’re curious, it gives you the ability to conjure small objects (3x3x3ft max) at second level, and teleport a limited number of times at sixth. Blink is a spell that does basically the same thing, and Scott would be able to learn it at fifth level.]

[again this is just a personal preference]

If I had to talk about what I effectively think are the strongest subclasses overall, I’d say either War Magic or Abjuration. The main problem with wizards in d&d is the fact that they are glass cannons: pretty strong, but they need to keep their distance because they go down very easily. 

War Magic is the most “attack” version of the solution to that problem, as it gives bonuses to your armour class (which is the thing that defines how hard you are to hit). It also incentivises you to be in the thick of the fight since now you have benefits to whenever you block an enemy attack. But while I do think that is very cool, I don’t really see it fitting Scott. He is a huge team player, and this is a bit of a “one man army” subclass.

Abjuration seems more fitting to me. Abjuration is mainly focused on magic that blocks, protects or banishes. Incoming arrow? Use Shield, now you’re harder to hit. An enemy caster is about to burn your pals to a crisp with Fireball? Use Counterspell, that spell is no more. There’s a demon bearing down on your whole team, with no way to run? Use Banishment, now the demon is no more. 

This subclass gives you temporary hit points (so more health), and allows you to use that additional health to absorb damage that the rest of your party takes (and more!). 

This, in my opinion, is both very good from a gameplay point of view, and very fitting for the multifaceted role that Scott plays when in a team. He can play support, he can attack, he can help keep control over the battlefield.

Now, I see Scott mainly as an elf. Elves are just very cool and elegant, and I think Scott would enjoy being an elf. It’s just what he deserves. 

From a mechanical point of view, High Elves get bonuses to both dexterity (good for avoiding attacks) and intelligence (a given for a wizard). 

They also get a bonus cantrip! Which is very good overall, even though you have access to a lot of cantrips as a wizard.

And finally, the background! While I do not like being cliché, Scott is 100% a sage. He’s a scholar, and an academic. He’s getting the sage background.

So, in summary: 

Scott Major is born from a small elven family, who are all traditionally artists and performers. Ever since his birth, he’s always displayed a penchant for the arcane, with his magical abilities appearing earlier than usual and his curiosity allowing him to learn a lot in an exceptional short time. 

Due to all this, his parents decided to let him develop his abilities in a nearby arcane academy, where he quickly proves himself as one of the most talented wizards of his times. He finishes his studies and explorations of the various arcane schools extremely at leisure pace nevertheless, taking the time to experiment with his own interests and forming friendships with other coursemates. 

With one in particular, Noxite, he shares not a dream but a project. 

The two of them leave the academic world for a while to explore and learn more about the world of adventuring, then return with enough coin to complete what they’ve set up to do. 

They take what was originally the small academy where Scott began his studies, and make it the centre of arcane knowledge in the whole region - scholars of all types and origins flock to their newly born institute, for research purposes and to teach bright faced young students. 

Then, they start building. 

And many years later, what first began as a small tournament held for only academics, so that professors could show off new abilities and students could experiment the tensions of battle in a controlled environment, became the most renown tournament in the whole material plane. 

There, adventurers and students alike can participate and display their own skills and abilities, and try to win a price that is both of fame and more material.

Scott went from taking part to the tournament to mainly overseeing the organization, but he does still sometimes compete if a team is lacking a contestant. He continues to teach, mostly taking under his wing extremely talented students that attend his academy, and his research on the effects of time and space in magic has never really stopped. 

[zeta-in-de-walls]

Ah nice, more of your liveblogging! 

Aaah the dread they’ve managed to induce at the very idea of Dream logging on is so true. You know that Dream’s presence is going to make Tommy’s mindset even worse and we’ll have to watch him thinking Dream’s helping him. I think for one stream I noticed Dream was doing MCC practice with Scott and I was just relieved as that meant he probably wouldn’t be on Tommy’s. 

And aaah, the nether might be even worse. Every time he’s in their I’m just alarmed. Tommy jumps around on narrow walkways so recklessly without armour and food and it’s always bad. If you watched any of the more recent streams, I think he’s alluded to the nether in general still being a traumatic space for him, his character still trying to avoid it and acting more nervous in there. And it’s earned - the nether is such a striking part of Tommy’s exile. He can remind you of his character’s severe depression just by staring into lava a little too long. Details like this is why I highly rec the exile arc even uncut to watchers who enjoy Tommy’s character as it adds a lot even to the more recent content. 

In this stream, you can see Tommy’s in such a very bad way, but that without Dream around he’s trying to reach out again. I loved that moment where he regrets destroying his bridge, realising his lashing out was just hurting him more. And he builds another bridge through the nether, he’s trying to reach out to people again and really wants help. He makes an effort to make it big and wide with bright green arrows. It’s not even that he’s forgiven anyone - he’s just so lonely that he doesn’t care that no one wants to see him as long as they visit at all. (And people do care, he just doesn’t know it...)

And Tommy thinking he’ll feel better when people visit and then realising that he still feels lonely even while people are speaking to him. It’s not just loneliness that’s his problem but he can’t fix any of his problems cause he feels powerless. 

I really like the way CC Tommy uses books. His quick writing with spelling errors and just a stream of thoughts, it’s a real look into his feelings and a cry for help. And then he doesn’t dwell on it at all.

Hard to know how much he plans of his streams. I think it’s fairly loose plans still - I’d say the beach party he would have specifically asked the other streamers to not visit. Otherwise I think generally unless they’ve planned to stream together, it seems normal for most of them to leave them to their own devices for twenty minutes before asking to hang out. CC!Tommy doesn’t like streaming alone, preferring to have someone to bounce off even when it doesn’t make the most sense - and I always got the impression the plan was to have less interactions than he actually had. But he’s adaptable. 

It’s pretty funny - most of the server actually visited Logstedshire while Tommy was in exile. Antfrost, Puffy and Eret all visited to leave gifts. Vikkstar and Lazarbeam visited with Techno. Tubbo visited with Ghostbur while Tommy was offline. Bad, Sapnap, Fundy, Niki, Ranboo, Philza, Sam, Quackity and Jack all visit. Dream visits. Mexican Dream visits. Drista visits. Even Hbomb appears on Christmas to give Tommy a present. That’s really popular. xD

It’s kinda to their credit that they can convincingly portray that Tommy feels alone and isolated while still also streaming with different people every day. xD

And aaah, Niki’s nice here but damn is it reminding me how her spiralling for Doomsday was really not foreshadowed. As she’s perfectly pleasant to Tommy here. Heh, I always love Tommy and Niki interactions either way!

And ugh, the do a flip jokes. Tommy’s chat was full of them. Every time he’d stand near lava it would start getting spammed. It was seriously annoying. Tommy’s chat has always been hard on their streamer. Somehow its almost like only other streamers chats are full of Tommy fans. 

I'm not gonna apologize for there being a break because this is a hobby and I do this at my own pace lol. THAT SAID, let's hop back in!

Vod: Tommy's Exile Is Coming To A Close (rp) oh man here's the drowning again. At least Ranboo and Niki are greeting him in chat that's cute

of COURSE its raining lol, very Moody

...don't like that Tommy is actually looking forward to Dream visiting. The gaslighting is really setting in. He's not eating enough either

Tommy's always moving around, he's such an active character, so it REALLY hits when he freezes, even just for a moment or two. Yes this is in response to the funny Lazerbeam lava death comment that somehow turned very sad very quickly lol

He's very openly talking about his death too. And his skin is even worse I think, hes got SUCH bags under his eyes.. and ALSO THIS IS STILL HIM TALKING ABOUT HOW TO SEX 3 afdfd

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