#also is it just me or shidou and kazui look way too young here. where are my old men | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rurustarhall · 2 months ago

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Hey! :D I will be researching my thoughts about Shidou and information I have deducted from his videos. At the end if you are lazy to look through my comments is a walk through of what I think happened that has labelled where the information is coming from with numbers!! The parts of his music videos etc where I look into that are bolded if you are looking for a specific part.

If you want the link of the google doc instead, message me!

Let’s begin!

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I believe what Shidou did was more morally wrong than anything. And this is me beating those allegations that he stole the organs even though it’s really useless for me to do so since it’s basically already confirmed he didn’t but those people made me a little angry.

Voice drama trial one : “Molech”-

— (1) To start off, the name of the voice drama “Molech” means “a Canaanite (characteristics, practices etc in the Bible)deity associated in the Bible that deals with child sacrifice.

In the beginning it’s clear that he’s very fatherly to Es and cares a lot about them, mentioning several times how his heart goes out to such a young worker like him, telling him to do his best and that it must take a big emotional toll on him. He is also very smart with medical stuff, saying that he knows Milgram isn’t a dream because he can tell his heartbeat is normal and later on when Es kicks him in the shin , he gives a detailed explanation about feeling pain. He’s also really patient with Es’s childishness which to me makes an amazing father. I LOVE YOU SHIDOUUUUUU

(this is probably really useless information but I think it adds to his character a lot. It’s clear he loves kids in a good way. When he corrects Es for his mistake after kicking him he says that it was so radiant of him and a good reminder that Es is truly a child that makes mistakes that it makes him want to just turn away and it makes him very happy. In fact in his birthday lines he says that he believes it’s good to have a good connection with the future aka the younger generations even if they aren’t your kids. He says you can leave something behind for them as you live , so they can feel there is a significance of being born and it’s called hope. And he laughs when Kazui says he will do something for the bad kids here (i am assuming Kotoko and Fuuta etc or all of them) and Shidou laughs, saying to please protect them.)

He’s a very calm person too , unlike the others who were blabbering about random things and giving Es a headache, Shidou patiently waited for questions. It’s only when he says he doesn’t see the bad of Milgram is when he starts explaining and things go downhill.

The reason he thinks Milgram is good is because it’s the best way to atone for this murder and wants the death penalty. (2) He says he has killed people, lots, and for selfish reasons too. (3) “I am a fine specimen of what a genuine murder ought to be.” what he quotes. Is he saying that because he has killed through surgery and his transplants or he had actually murdered through ways other than that? I am leaning towards the surgery.

(4) This is definitely probably just me , but I like how he is so persistent in telling Es to not forgive him. Unlike the other interrogations which have more information perhaps, he hasn’t mentioned his family once yet. He goes bluntly into saying he’s a murder that has killed many to convince Es better, not trying to get his sympathy.

Anddddd if i haven't forgotten anything else, I will be moving to his music video.

Trial 1 Throwdown :

-part one: the idea of “Throw Down” (all of this is (5))

I think the reason the music video is called throw down is because it’s supposed to throw you off and not focus on anything other than his crime. Like when he says “throw down” and right after are sentences like “connecting you with me” or “someone’s value can’t be the same as another”

The words he says after throwdown are his own personal thoughts in a way. He doesn’t want you to care about his own thoughts about him saving his family, he wants you to only focus on the fact he was a murder.

To me, the word ‘throwdown’ sounds like he’s telling you to “throwdown” and not pay attention to what comes after ,

like: “throw down ____(something to do with his thoughts)______”.

The words "Throw Down" are there to throw you off in a way and stop listening to his own opinions and reason for his “murder” to throw you off and be like “oh , he killed someone, guilty! Easy as that!” Like he said in his voice drama, he just wants the death penalty and that’s it.

.”Throw down” throw down what? Your own thoughts and I think the entire reason for the music video throwdown itself is for you to focus on his murder part , convincing you to vote him guilty because he wants to be guilty.

In (3) I believe this was just a bad translation or he was actually convinced he is a murder for what he has done. This can also point to this.

Throw Down tells you about his murder, that’s it, nothing about his family, any of that extra information, only the failed surgery to keep it simple for you to vote him guilty.

All of this can go back to number four (4) at the end of my explanation of his first voice drama

—----

– part two: yup! We are not done. Now, we will go more in depth of the video.

So , at the beginning he is seen talking to patients which are clearly upset at him. A lot of people think he did illegal surgery or something to get the organs for the transplants. I think that would be impossible and beats the entire purpose of these scenes with him and these angry/sad people. In fact, it’s actually confirmed in Trial 2 that he begged people hesitant to do so , asking them if he could use their family’s organs since they were brain dead.

What I think happened is that Shidou approached these people and convinced them to give up on their brain dead family. Because, if a brain dead person is declared as brain dead a doctor, if given permission by the person’s kin/family can go ahead and use their organs for donation. Which obviously could have made them sad/angry but they agreed.

So, all he did was legal, he didn’t steal organs.

This is me going a little forward but in his second voice drama he said that he uses the same words Es said like “it’s better to save one then none’ in Throw down there are many lines similar like this. Like in 1:31 he says “hey do you remember what it feels like? The feeling to take away to give”

In Throwdown, as a metaphor of him being a surgeon; he is seen as a florist cutting flowers aka “organs” and him placing them in this skeleton thing as a reference of surgery.

(6)Next part at 1:47, it’s where he eats a pomegranate with a fork (I don’t know how I can defend you about this one Shidou)

“Here and here is such a waste” talking about brain dead people? And then it’s added on with “there is no meaning to it , yes and no, it doesn’t matter. It’s all how you say it” I think the last line where it says “it’s how you say it” reflects on how it’s the patient’s kin’s choice. Even if they should be “put to use” it’s based on the family’s decision if they want to make that choice.

If you make a connection maybe, a pomegranate kinda looks like a heart but anyways:

Now the pomegranate. Pomegranates symbolise fertility and life. Hope and everlasting life. In the video the fruit looks grey and rotten already. He eats it as if saying “yeah this is useless” Other than that I can’t get myself to deduce more. But, I don’t think that a pomegranate represents an organ but something else. There is also a glass of wine too?

(7)Nextttttttt, the cards and papers!!!!! The cards are quite important, they obviously show the “acceptance” for the organs right? Later on you see when he turns into florist Shidou the cards flying in the air become scan tags for the flowers aka organs. And the part where papers are on the floor, they also look like signed papers and stuff for the surgery to happen etc and it’s mixed along with the flower scan tags.

What I like about throwdown is that it all seems to be in order. Him talking to the family for permission and then the part where he is cutting flowers (the surgery) then him sitting with all of the papers of approval which is a little foreshadowing. (8) Why? We will get back to that.

Last!!!! He is seen with the skeleton flower person he was operating on the entire time. It’s obvious it failed with how it fell. You see him take the card and tear it seeing how it is useless.. (He looked so sad to see it fail and so shakened, It made me wanna cry.)

Back to (8), I think that part is where after all of the surgery , the path of paper, cards and scissors leading him to the area he was sitting shows all of the things he did but it all came to no avail which leads us to the lyrics “now slowly close your eye and put your regret on display”

Back to (1), some people say that the reason why it’s called child sacrifice is because the brain patients he got permission from the guardians/family were also kids? I don’t know if that would work on his grown wife but that is where more theories come from I don’t wanna explain.

That’s it for Throw down!

Voice drama trail 2 “Aesculapius”: (his voice is so asmr here)

(9) Again, I am going to start off with the name of the voice drama “Aesculapius”. What does this mean? Well the correct question should be: who is that? Aesculapius is the name of a Greek god. He is the god of medicine and doctors. (all of this is 9) we will get back to this so expect to see another (9) in Triage.

He starts off by bluntly stating all of the injuries that Kotoko has caused to Mahiru and Fuuta, also about their mental health. He really does care about them and the rest that got impacted from the trial and votes.

This opinion on Milgram has changed. He wants to put a stop to Milgram but not because he doesn’t want the death penalty anymore. He still wants to die for his sins , but he wants to put the end of Milgram to stop others from becoming hurt further, or even cause more deaths as if he hasn’t seen enough. And he isn’t only talking about the prisoners, he wants the best for Es too. At 1:14 he quotes “I think we should put an end to Milgram as a whole. Both for our sake and for yours.”. He’s saddened when Es says he can’t stop it either, and even more sad that Es is basically in the same situation as them, trapped.

Es tells Shidou that he has gained some light and has become softer from the last trial. I think it’s because he’s questioning his will to live. He’s starting to see more of a purpose, to save the others, but he is still being dragged down at the same time because he believes he is truly guilty.(10) Which, him seeing a will to live is good but what I think is bad is the fact he must believe the only good reason he is to live is to save others and no more.

I think it’s also obvious that he didn’t do the surgery illegally for The part around 5 minutes in while they were talking. It was also part of his line of work etc. Es agrees that his decision should be correct and quotes ,(11) “In exchange for the life of someone who’s only remaining choice is to await death, you can still save someone who still has the chance to live. In that case, you shouldn’t even have to think twice.”

But, Shidou replies with “I thought so too… arrogant as I was.”

“Are you saying you don’t agree with that anymore?” - Es

“Yes, that’s right…” - Shidou

What does this mean? I believe that at the beginning he didn’t have that much of a care about the other person’s family. He also agreed that it was the obvious best decision. But, when his family ended up dying with the transplant he understood how it felt to lose family, where his quilt began to root. (12) Where he understood that the family could not forgive him for that because not only was the surgery a failure, his words about saving more with the cost of one were wrong. He states that he desperately tried to get the family of the brain dead person (another reason why I doubt he stole organs or something), he also gave the same reasons Es just stated with again quote, “In order to save someone you don’t know, please let me kill your family member”. (13) Another thing that can add onto (12) is right after he said “It doesn’t take much thinking to realise how cruel that is, but… I didn’t realise that until the end.” This can also point back to (2) where he said he killed for selfish reasons too. The selfish reasons being to save his own family.

Next, we will talk about 6:20, family. I wanna begin with saying, Shidou has helped change my perspective on family a lot. Es replies to Shidou after that, “isn’t that just a placebo? I would think family ties would play no role in that context.” He is saying that because he believes that even if they are family, it doesn’t matter. The same effect still applies and the scenario even if they are family or not.

“Would you feel the same if that was your family?”

“…” (I had the same reaction, Es.)

With this information, it makes it even more clear how much he cares about his family, other families and after his family died he cared and understood how important family really is. This can explain why he acts so fatherly and caring towards Es and the young folks in the prison.

After Es says he doesn’t know about his family, Shidou apologises for how Es must feel but Es says he doesn’t care. He says he doesn’t see his judgement changing even if it was his own family. (I am pretty happy about this since Es reflects us in a way and I think that’s a way of Milgram saying they know we will still forgive him.)

He also goes along saying , “even if my family was in Milgram, I will continue my judgement”

Shidou replies with “there is no way.”

Even with such a small phrase I can deduce a lot with that. That can go back to what Shidou said at (12) and (13) , he felt the same way before he killed people through transplant and not saving his family, but after he felt that guilt. He understands Es can say that easily but if that did happen he would take that back.

To add more on why he thinks family is so special he says that there is even a law that you can’t hide criminals or their evidence but if it is your family member then it’s not illegal. He then says, “no matter if it’s according to the law or any context, it’s only normal to help each other in a family.” This can strengthen what I said previously in (10) and add onto many more things I have said.

Later on he says at 8:43 “Unlike you, I can no longer claim I am doing my work for a good reason, I have lost the right to.” What does this mean? Well, first, what does he mean that he isn’t doing it for a good reason? Let’s head back to (11) (12) and (13), remember how his guilt came after doing those surgeries? I think he means that before he was just doing his work normally to save people but after his family got into whatever situation he no longer cared about anything else and focused on only saving his family but they died anyways so basically he wasn’t doing very well with that so he believes he has loss the right as a doctor. If you can get a grasp of what I am trying to say. After saying that he says “you will probably find out about that after you have watched the extracted footage.” And what was in the footage? His family. Which can support what he previously said and my analysis on it.

“I have killed for scientific reasons as well.” 9:14, I am a bit lost at this part. Butttt I have an idea. Remember the pomegranate scene I talked about in (6)? Also when he is eating with a fork for some reason and drinking wine? I think this can go back to that but I doubt he ate an organ or something.

Now his little rant at 9:31 (I always cry when watching his part) (I am listening to after pain at 3 am while writing this, my face is wet with tears)

“The feeling of “I don’t want to be forgiven” , inside me remains the same as before”.

“I don’t believe Milgram is in the right but!.... There is no better place to atone for my crimes!”

“But as long as Milgram continues in this direction… we won’t be able to save those who get injured if I am not forgiven!” sigh. AHHHHHHHHHHH

“I need to be punished…but I also need to stay alive, or young lives will be lost. I don’t know what to wish for anymore.”

“I am starting to think I want to live. That I want to be forgiven. Despite being so riddled with sins.”

OKAY. Wow, that is a lot of words there Shidou! What are they talking about? Let’s go back more. (10) Remember where we said that he feels like he can only continue living as a doctor and help others? He doesn’t want to see more die either, especially since he clearly worries for all of these young adults and Amane. But as much as he wants to help and be there to heal, he wants to die. He doesn’t think Milgram is right because of the others but if he was put in the scenario where he was the only one he would agree with it because he wants to die. All of these intertwining wishes that are exact opposites are making him all confused and stressed on what to do. Should he think about what he has done in the past or focus on the present and save more to stop even more guilt?

After that Es says a really good meaningful paragraph to him but it’s not something I would add here but will definitely use for another analysis!

But I will include the last part at 12;06, Es is saying that if he really believes he is guilty and using his life as compensation then there is so reason to stay alive that would hold up. And what if his current reason to be alive? Saving the current people in his life, the prisoners. He is saying that if he really wants to discard himself, his reasons to live are practically useless. But then later on he says “don’t face them with a life you are so willing to throw away.” Is he referring to the prisoners or the family of the patients? I am leaning towards prisoners with the context I have but at the same time it’s 5:33 am and I am on an empty stomach and dehydrated.

This isn’t that important because I have brought it up like 1000 times but it’s because I love the fact he loves and cares for the younger generation that he talks about liking kids (platonically) a bunch of times in his voice drama. But I love the part where he says he has found himself hated by the kids left and right even though he really wants to interact and do like them (platonically).

And at the end where Es says “thank you for saving Mahiru and Fuuta” and that they are glad he is in Milgram and made Shidou cry it makes me cry too. Because if you think about it, Shidou knows Es hates him and is okay with that but finally hearing nice words from the kid he worries about probably made all of his stress go and form into tears. Also, with being told Es’s small paragraph and rant at the end probably made him see something. I think with the help of that in Trial three he might want to live more. And “thank you for saving Fuuta and Mahiru” he probably felt really shocked but happy.

Sigh, TRIAGE TIMEEEEEEEE

Trial 2 - Triage :

Again, we are gonna start with the meaning of Triage because the milgram writers are amazing at choosing words and I wish to meet them in real life. Triage is a medical term where it’s some sort of urgency where they are mainly focused on having as many survivors as possible which could explain his past motive where he was only focused on saving his family. Unlike Throw Down where it talks about and is more focused on his victims, in Triage it talks more about what he lost. Triage is him trying to come to terms about his own choices, his guilt and everything. It’s him thinking, what should I do now? With mention of most things said in his second voice drama.

Doors / Gates - I am going to focus more on the two doors you see at 0:22. Throughout Triage you can notice you see the doors a lot. The design of the gate in the kitchen, when he is sitting down on the floor for that one scene you see the shadow of it, you just see it the entire time.

In the beginning you see two sides of the door , one where it looks like the past and the one facing us looks more “up to date!”. You also hear a voice mail, well it sounds more like a voicemail then a call since it says “This is Mr Kirisaki, I am busy” something along those lines. There is another scene where the family is in the kitchen and you can see the pattern of the gates there. When he is on the floor and the ghost of his family is walking around you also see the shadow of the gate there.

(14)I think these gates show one side which is his mindset and the other side is his past , him looking back before all of this chaos. -MEANING OF TRIAGE? - Hence why I say Triage shows more what he lost and isn’t trying to convince you that he is guilty because it’s his own reflection and Throw down shows the lives of what others lost and his murder to convince you to vote him guilty and that is why Throw Down is first before Triage. But, Triage shows you what HE lost. But now Shidou is seeing a new light, he still wants to convince you to vote him guilty but is refraining for the prisoner’s sake so that is why Triage sets a very different mood.

You can see the “mindset” of Shidou aka like current Shidou looking afar at his family’s memories , with the gates blocking him.

Right after he is seen walking past a bunch of flowers on these little, well I say are graves of the people he has “killed” and as he walks past the flowers on them wither. And if we remember the flowers in Throw Down represent the organs of others.

But why are they the walls of his house? I think it’s because those organs are the only thing helping save the family together, therefore being the walls of the house, without them they would have died faster. (15) Well I heard a theory that the kids died faster then the mom but we will get into that later.

Why does he say he is indispensable? For this, we are going to look back at the voice dramas. Him saying he is indispensable means that he is important, not in a narcissistic way. He really is important in this prison.

In (9) we see that the meaning of his voice drama’s name is the name of the god of medicine. In a way, to the prisoners he is like a god. The voice drama talks about him being the only one that can save situations he is in, not only in the prison but when he was out of the prison too. When his family was in need of medical attention, it was his duty to save them. Now that the prisoners need medical attention, again he is the only one. Hence why at this point he’s like a god. But what saddens me more is that he is in the same situation as before in a sense, before the time he tried to save people he ended up feeling guilty and now that he is doing it again he must be terrified to not save them or else he will feel that same guilt.

He is seen giving one of his ADORABLE sons a card. I think it was supposed to be a promise like, “don’t worry, dad will make sure you are okay”

He also says those cards were payback for his unpleasant taking, aka the organs. That his family dying was payback for how he took organs without thinking about the family’s feelings much.

Right after he says “In that case , allow me to make amends.” I think this is him saying, okay yeah what I did was morally really bad but I am going to try and now that I have learned from my mistake, think in a better way I am going to try and redeem myself and take care of these prisoners.” “To extract that fang”--Kotoko’s actions. But even despite saying this, why at this scene is he seen holding onto a hospital bed? Still distressed? (16) Staring with wide eyes forward. I think it’s because while making this choice he is also leaving behind his family now in a way. He wishes for punishment not only for the family of those he killed to be brought into justice but he probably knows his family wouldn’t like the idea of begging these families. Him finally dying doesn’t only bring the families to justice but in a way to say sorry to his family for what he did morally wrong. But now he is against the idea of dying right now.

1:15. Sigh. This is the scene where there are two Shidous, the one we see throughout this music video and a new one! You can’t see much from a back view but you can deduce a bit that it looks like hospital scrubs and a doctor coat. If we go back to (16) we can use that same thing to apply to here. Throughout the music video before this point he seemed okay with living for now and making this new choice, but this is where it changes and he is like “what am I thinking about? This is a wrong decision." This is like the changing point of the music video where the music gets louder like his thoughts on dying again.

This can represent how he is always going back and forth with his choices right now.

But at the end he decides he will live to protect the current people in his life. But while he is saying this, well singing you see a flashback to the beginning of the beginning of the song with his family waving to him, pointing back to (16) and some references to Throwdown like the dying plant. This is him still thinking back to his original idea of staying alive before he had the change of wanting to die again halfway through the video and reflecting on Throw down. At 2:27, you can see the doors are now closed. Emphasising my idea in (14).

Last thingggg back to (15) people say this because even if his entire family was in some urgent need of medical attention, in both ThrowDown and triage there was only one bed. People say that the kids died faster since kids are weaker and to distract himself with the depression of losing his kids he focused only on trying to save the wife, in hopes to at least save one. Which is really sad.

Other theories and things I wanna address :

There is a theory that it’s only his kids that died and his wife left him and broke ties on a good level because of their mental health of their kids dying. This is referencing his interrogation card 9 trial 1 because it asked “What do you wish from your lover?” and he replied with “I wish they can remain healthy.”

This could reference that Hanae, Shidou’s wife, is actually alive. But, I think it’s just a mistranslation or by him replying with that it means “I would want my lover to be healthy.” And if his wife is still alive, I say they would reference it a bit more? Also in Triage it shows that Hanae also disappears into a ghost so I have doubts about this theory.

Other Things: not that important but it adds character a lot

His cards

I feel like his cards really show how much of an amazing person he really is despite his actions of convincing family of brain dead people. He’s not a heartless person and he himself knew how bad that was. Like in t1 question 1 where he said the reason he became a doctor is to contribute to society. And T1 Q4 he says he cherishes family the most. It can add onto the fact that he does love taking care of kids very much. He also said that his family was truly the happiest family alive. He also mentioned multiple times he is worried about Amane a lot.

One of his cards about smoking says that the reason he smokes is because he doesn’t wanna be healthy. It saddens me. He’s like a passive suicidal , he wouldn’t take his life but smoke, see his life only worthy to help others and wouldn’t complain if he knew he was gonna die hypothetically.

In his cards you can see he also has strong Japanese morals and is very nice and formal. I like his cards where he draws silly images.

Also, in his T2 Q5 he says the languages he can speak other than Japanese are English and casual conversation German. At first I thought this was just because of his studies as a doctor and something really cool , so cool in fact it made me wanna learn German to match my idol Shidou but that’s besides the point. I was scrolling in my favourite app Tumbler and it was a really good analysis about this.

While watching triage I noticed that Hanae and the kids, also Shidou himself! They don’t really wear like Japanese clothes but I brushed it aside. Especially since he was wearing shorts and in Japan, for a man to wear shorts is childish because only kids wear them. But this post said that the entire family were wearing Birks (a type of shoe) so it’s either the wife or Shidou that is German in some way. I think it’s a really cool detail.

This is the end!!!! This took me 1 sleepless night (2-8 am) and many hours. I think in total 12-13 hours to write and 20 minutes to revise.

#shidou kirisaki #milgram #milgram shidou #character analysis #essay #google docs #i love shidou kirisaki

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catgirl-brain · 4 years ago

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[ENG] Another Night - Kazui Mukuhara Voice Drama

Aand... it's been forever since this came out... I had a lot of trouble deciphering what Kazui was trying to say in some portions, so please take this translation with a grain of salt... It's super rough at some parts, sorry!

Kazui: Alright then… Let’s see how this turns out.

(door swings open)

Es: Sorry for the wait,

(door shuts)

Es: Prisoner number 7, Kazui.

Kazui: Excuse me,

(restrains Es)

Es: W-what!?

Kazui: Sorry, give me a second to be ridiculous here.

Es: (struggling) You…! That’s rude!

Kazui: Now, now… I won’t hurt you, so don’t be afraid…

Kazui: Huh..?

Es: (breaks free and gasps)

Kazui: What’s this…? I’ve suddenly lost my strength…

Es: (heavy breathing) Prisoner number 7, Kazui! Do you have any idea what you’ve just done!? You’ve just committed a serious crime.

Kazui: (hums)

Es: Hey! Are you listening to me, Kazui!?

Kazui: Prison guard-kun fought me when I squeezed them… That’s not the image I got from Futa’s account. I thought you’d overpower me,

Es: Huh?

Kazui: but you tried to get out as soon as I started, and - “What’s this?” I suddenly lost control of my own body.

Es: (huffs) I don’t know all the details either, I just know that a prisoner can’t attack the guard.

Kazui: I see… (laughs) But it’s not like a magic barrier- An old man like me wouldn’t be able to handle that… (As an old man, that helps) Still, in terms of reality… it feels a bit like it was hypnosis.

Es: Hey! I don’t care about that!

Kazui: Hm?

Es: Sit down there, Kazui!

Kazui: (chuckles) Ok, ok.

Es: The manner of these prisoners towards their prison guard... Don’t treat me as if I’m a kid, but that behavior is uncalled for... I'm not going to forgive you (for treating me like that), what do you have to say for yourself?

Kazui: Hmm…

Kazui: (claps) Sorry!

Es: Huh?

Kazui: Really- sorry, sorry! I was worried I’d get injured by you, Prison guard-kun. From now on I’ll try to get information safely. Depending on who they are, everyone has their own method of gathering information.

Es: Huh?

Kazui: I’m an anxious old man, so I just needed to verify if Prison guard-kun was armed or not.

Es: You...To do that sort of thing to me…

Kazui: Mm? I thought it would be fine, but I suppose it wasn’t.

Es: Oh? But I didn't like it.

Kazui: Oh, no no, I don’t mean to offend you. Well, it’s no problem, if we can’t attack you, you can’t attack us, either.

Es: Hmm? (approaches him)

Kazui: What are you doing?

Es: (slaps him)

Kazui: T...that hurts….!

Es: Hey, what’s wrong? I was able to attack you?

Kazui: That was uncalled for-!.. Even so... that seems to be true…

Es: What, should I have said that earlier? Should slap you again to see if it works that time?

Kazui: Aw, I get it! I’ll be patient… (clears throat) I suppose the guard has decided the situation… We’re just scared of unfamiliar situations, don't you hate it - not knowing things?

Kazui: If I can’t expect it, it could hurt me. Even if not, it's better to see first. There’s always something dangerous. And what’s more, from the beginning of this session, you seem unfazed by this “mechanism”- somewhere, it sounds like pieces of something are moving. (??)

Es: What are you trying to say?

Kazui: In other words, we’re divided into the positions of Guard and Prisoner. We’re both trying to glean the information we lack.

Kazui: I think it’s “fair” in that sense.

Es: Me and you guys… we’re “fair”?

Kazui: Well, that’s my guess. I was hoping that Prison guard-kun would agree with me if I decided it was okay.

Es: Hmm… but you’re such a chatty man.

Kazui: (laughs) That’s true (laughs) I’m worried all the time, this old man’s no good.

Es: Well, what you’re saying is pretty interesting. It’s true; at some times I don’t even know everything about MILGRAM.

Kazui: (affirmative hum)

Es: But! I am the Prison Guard of MILGRAM, and you’re a prisoner, that much is true.

Kazui: (hum)

Es: That’s the most important thing here. Now then, Prisoner number 7, Kazui. Let’s get started.

Kazui: Alright, very professional aren’t we? (laughs) Well, let me introduce myself. I like this too. This isn’t my first time introducing myself to you.

Kazui: Once again, it’s Mukuhara Kazui, age 39. Nice to meet you, Prison guard-kun.

Es: Hm. You guys are all murderous prisoners. Kazui, you shouldn’t be so cheerful.

Kazui: Murderous... is that it? Well, you’re not wrong there.

Es: Mm? Confess it then.

Kazui: Confess.. At the very least, I believe I’m a murderer. I admit that. I don’t know if that’s a good way to put it.

Es: A good way to put it…?

Kazui: And that’s all there is, for the most part. To me, there should be no murderers aside from me. (??????????????????????????????????????)

Es: What do you mean?

Kazui: For example, for what reason are you gathering us murderers here? That’s something a crazy person would do. Is there a better word other than “murderer”? The term is too broad.

Es: Hey, Kazui. This isn’t the time to be asking questions.

Kazui: And I’m not recognizable as a murderer, unless you know my crime. Why the hell are we even on trial? It doesn’t make sense.

Es: I don’t give a damn about all that. I am the one who will decide whether to forgive you or not.

Kazui: Oh, is that so? Even though I don’t know who you’re working for?

Es: They’re fluffy. And if there's a problem, they’ll show up.

Kazui: Hm..? It’s something like that..?

Es: Stop acting like a detective, it’s unpleasant.

Kazui: Okay, okay.

Es: (sighs) Kazui. How do you feel about the other prisoners?

Kazui: Oh, that’s a good one. Don’t worry, everyone is well and friendly. The younger ones often get stressed, but there seems to be a good balance.

Es: That answer would be the same no matter who you ask. Don’t worry about conflicts between prisoners.

Kazui: Isn’t that what’s happening right now? I don’t really know what’s in my head, and you don’t know what life is like outside of here (???)

Es: Hm?

Kazui: There's an air of good feelings around the prison. I would be okay with living here forever. Why have you prepared such an environment..?

Es: Hey! Stop trying to get the conversation off track!

Kazui: (laughs) I got caught. Forgive me, alright? I’m an old man, I can’t help teasing kids like you- I have to be a little mischievous.

Es: You’re the same as Shidou. I hate it. I swear, does every adult act this way?

Kazui: (laughs) Did Shidou-kun also do that? He’s really calm, isn’t he? Can’t take that one sitting down.

Es: Are you different? You seem just as childish.

Kazui: Mmm… Does it seem that way? That’s good.

Es: What’s good about that? I don’t get this.

Es: This is a place where your consciousness will reveal itself (?) calculated by the impressions from others, but they can easily lie.

Kazui: This is, this is… You’re pretty tough. (laughs) But you’re not showing your true self, and neither am I.

Es: Hm…

Kazui: But, I’m older, so I have to take more responsibility/I need to try harder when I’m around kids like you. I’m an old man, so I need to keep a smile on my face while hiding my fangs.. Even if you are young.

Es: I see..

Kazui: You can tell I’m lying… Well, that may be the case. Unfortunately for you adults are very good at lying.

Es: Adults, huh?

Kazui: You’ll be stumped(?). Although, maybe you have some mysterious power...

Es: (cute laugh) Hey, Kazui…

Kazui: Yeah?

Es: That’s exactly it.

Kazui: Eh?

Es: I see your weakness. I can look inside you and unravel the sounds of your heart… What’s more, that adult technique. (??)

Kazui: (laughing) What? What’s that supposed to mean?

Es: Stop laughing, it’s unpleasant.

Kazui: (oh hoho…) Oi, oi, What on Earth is going on here….

Es: Are you a sweet-natured man who takes his losses well? Or are you really someone else?

Kazui: (hums)

Es: I’m looking forward to seeing it… Is it possible to hide anything from it? (‘it’ being the MILGRAM machine that produces the songs). I see now...

Es: In time, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll see the vulnerabilities in the lies of a murderer.. Though I’ve already seen through it a while ago.

Kazui: So… You’re going to do all that?

Es: What do you think?

Kazui: Well, it’s not so bad… sounds just like an adult, doesn’t it?

Es: (laughs) Being an adult, huh… Don’t use that as an excuse for you behavior, coward*

Kazui: (offended sound)

Es: In this place, it doesn’t matter whether you’re an adult or a child. MILGRAM forces you to stare deep into yourself, and you can’t escape.

Kazui: I…. see. I don’t care about this place of yours, and it hasn’t even scratched my surface. I just want to be stronger than it. (?)

Kazui: Of course, I’ve killed, and now I have no reservations about breaking any other laws. It’s different… I wonder if I’m in trouble. Nothing has changed, but I don’t know how to feel. Don’t talk to me like you know what I’m feeling, kid.

Es: (offended noise)...

Es: Welcome, Mukuhara Kazui. I feel like we’ve met before… It's nice to meet you. I am Es, the prison guard of MILGRAM.

Kazui: (exhales, chuckles) Starting again, huh? Well, you won't regret it, that kind of relationship would be painful,

Es: That’s alright, isn’t it? Causing you pain is my job.

Kazui: Mm, you’re a pro.

Es: Surely, as just a regular human being, you can’t be totally prepared for this.

(Bell rings, machinery starts whirring)

Kazui: What’s this?

Es: It’s time for your cross-examination. You’ll face your regrets from now on.

Kazui: (sighs) Someone help… this is too much for me…

Es: That’s right, Kazui… show me your true feelings.

Kazui: Ahaha… Well, I’m embarrassed to concede to a child and say all that…

Es: Don’t worry. I’m going to know your soul from now on.

Kazui: Finding the truth of my inner feelings, huh? Alright.

Es: That’s right.

Kazui: Ah… oh, Prison guard-kun?

Es: What is it?

Kazui: This personality of mine… I’ve developed it from living in the world. Could you tell me about your own experiences? It’s a little annoying to have such a one-sided relationship, isn't it?

Es: I’m not interested in myself.

Kazui: That’s a lot of new information to add to the situation… I… I hide my own sins behind a delusion… I don’t know what you will see when it’s opened.

Es: Kazui…

Kazui: How’s that? Can you see how fickle adults are?

Es: Shut up. You’re the one who’s fickle.

Kazui: (laughs) Tough, isn't it? But is it the end?

Es: Prisoner #7, Kazui. Now, sing your sins.

#MILGRAM #voice drama #ミルグラム

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rhythmicpirate · 2 years ago

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MILGRAM current theories and personal verdicts

Spoilers under the cut!

Haruka

Judging by the PV it looks like poor Haruka's only crime was murdering a dog that his mother brought for him. It seemed as though the dog appeared to him as a wild animal though, and he only acted out fear. Perhaps that mistake is where his depression came from? He needs to see if there's like a therapy place in Milgram. Personal Verdict:Innocent

Yuno

I...I don't actually know what her crime is? I mean I know she had to have killed someone but I can't figure out who? Probably one her clients as I believe, isn't she like a prostitute or something? Verdict:Unsure? Will have to wait for part 2.

Fuuta

Compared to the other crimes here, Cyber-bulling is kind of tame. It's still wrong, of course, but we've got people here who got multiple deaths. Still his quick to anger personality doesn't give me good vibes. Not to mention playing the role of hero isn't a good excuse for your evil. Verdict:Guilty

Bullying in real life can do a lot of damage to a person. I believe that at the time she thought her actions were completely justified, especially considering that she felt trapped by them. But now that her personality has done a full 180 saying that "she did nothing wrong" ironically enough I'm starting to have my doubts about her so called "bullies". Not to mention she is in the 1% (rich), and probally a transfer student. Verdict:Innocent, but may lean towards guilty later.

Shidou

I don't think Shidou murdered anyone. Instead I think that all his paitents died on their own due to bad caretaking. The stealing of the Organs was a lie he made up so he could get Es to be innocent. In reality he probally donated them to something. However, the guilt of not being able to save a single paitent made him spiral into depression and maybe the reason he wants to die so badly is because thinks it's the only way to make things right. Verdict:Innocent

Mahiru

Look at the poor girl. It looked like her lover was abusing her either emotionally or psychically (as assumed by her end frame, a look of fear clearly is visible). Yet she was blind to do this and kept on believing that he truly loved her. However her true colors soon shown at the surface and decided to end it herself. It's not good that Kotoko reminded her of her wounds after words. Verdict:Innocent

Kazui

He seem to really care about the other prisoners in the Milgram and dosen't seem to mind getting a guilty verdict. Infact he seems like he dosen't care if he gets guilty or not, maybe he secretly wants one too. His actions are definetly strange at times, but I just can't bring myself to hate the guy either. If I drank beer I'd probably drink it with him. Also I'm not so sure he cheated on his wife, rather he let someone who he had loved dearly go, or they broke up with him. Verdict:Innocent

Amane

She's still so young, only a child, I'd feel guilty if I gave her a guilty. Yet...I'm worried. Is she to far gone in her own delusions that the cult had brainwashed her into believing. Is there still a chance to redeem her or was us letting her down the final straw? I don't think Verdict:Reluctant Innocent.

Mikoto

It's my theory that Mikoto is suffering from Split Personality AKA Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). One personality appears to be ruthless and rude while the other one appears to be polite. However, this evil personality may be less protective then we thought, and maybe selfish as well. Either way, that other personality may be a bit much. Verdict:Guilty

Kotoko

A wise Batman once said "If you kill a killer the number of killers in this world stays the same." I think that really applies to Kotoko. Sure she believes she's fighting for justice, but wolves are often used as symbols of wrath. Not to mention she might be getting more dangerous due to her use of bats on the other prisoers. Even if they do turn out to be "guilty" in the end, does that mean she has the right to do those things to her. Verdict:Guilty

#es #milgram #haruka #yuno #fuuta #mu #shidou #mahiru #kazui #amane #mikoto #kotoko

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hamtigers · 4 years ago

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When I found out about Milgram it's inevitable that I got into it, since I love Deco*27's music so much. However as a fair warning, the entire project deals with extremely heavy themes since every character is a killer in some way or another. So if you are uncomfortable with content involving themes such as abuse, suicide, death, stalking, violence, abortion, and animal death, please do not look into this project or read any further.

I'd add a read more but I still don't know how from mobile lmao.

Just wanted to share my thoughts on each prisoner so far

Haurka: I am choosing to agree with the theory that he had some sort of learning disability and that he lashed out in jealousy because people didn't understand him or his needs. I also currently prefer the twin brother theory over the younger self theory, because if he was so miserable at the time why would his past self look so happy? While I don't believe mental disabilities excuse someone from being held responsible for their actions, I do believe that he was too young at the time and not given the right tools and help to learn to cope. Instead he falsely learned lashing out was the only way to be taken seriously. He shows extreme remorse for how he behaved and seems to be triggered by anything that reminds him of his past (his dislike of young children and animals in particular). I want to forgive him so that he can get the help he desperately needs.

Yuno: Abortions are not murder. It's extremely easy for me to forgive her. Especially since it's heavily implied that her clients refused to use protection even when asked. She probably didn't have a way to get access to birth control without bringing her controversial career in compensated dating to light, either.

Futa: honestly I got into Milgram so late that I haven't put much personal thought into Futa because quite honestly: I don't like him and I feel like he represents a huge part of what's wrong with cancel culture. He fancies himself a hero, thinking that he's fighting for what's right. It's pretty clear to me though that he's taking his so called 'villains' out of context and condemning them for things he doesn't have a full picture on. I think i'd be able to understand the story better if I could read the screen on his phone, but I do not know japanese and rely heavily on fan translations for content outside of the provided lyric translations. It's clear he didn't actually want anyone dead, since the monsters in his fantasies are just KOed... Up until the last one, where the literal blood on his hands shakes him out of the fantasy. I see a lot of people saying he bullied and doxxed someone until they committed suicide. I'm still glad he was voted unforgiven for this round though.

Mu: I don't... Fully understand Mu's story. I understand she was bullied and harassed by people who pretended to be her friend initially, which is something I can absolutely sympathize with. I also understand that she was just being used for her wealth rather than seen as a real friend. What I don't understand is why she targeted the specific girl she did for her 'escape'. The popular theory is that she had a crush on the girl, got outed as being not straight, and the entire school including her friends started relentlessly bullying her even physically for it. The other girl seems to just straight up avoid and ignore her, which is why I understand the point of being pressured nearly to suicide and exploding but I don't understand why she attacked the specific person she did. I think my opinion of her can go either way the more information we get.

Shidou: I'm following the harvested organs from his patients to try and save his lover theory. Honestly even with the vague imagery there's so little wiggle room for doubt in this one. I don't think he should be forgiven, but he also wants to die because he already saw his lover die which he is quoted as thinking to be a fate worse than death. For all the lives he's ruined, I almost want to say he deserves that torture... At least, that's how I'm dealing with the idea that he was already voted forgiven by the time I got here.

Mahiru: I!!! Hate!!! Her!!! Overly clingy and controlling of her lover who she stalked while trying to emulate romance novels to force into a relationship with her. Heavily implied to have driven him to suicide via emotional abuse and guilt tripping him back to her every time he tried to break up with her. I'm so glad she was already voted unforgiven by the time I got here. I actually had to take a break and step back after the weight of her song hit me because it reminded me of so many people I've had the misfortune of having in my life in the past.

Kazui: so far my first one that I have an original theory on instead of following one someone else came up with! I just posted my full thoughts on the video about an hour ago. But basically, I feel like his wife divorced him and wanted to stay friends but he wanted to get back together. It escalated until they had an argument that resulted in her falling or being pushed to her death. Seems to view himself as the protagonist in his own romantic tragedy. My opinion on him was swinging wildly until I came up with this theory and now I am leaning heavily towards unforgiven because it is the similar selfish pushiness as mahiru minus the manipulation.

Amane: most of her imagery flew over my head until I read some comments and theories. I support the 'grew up in a religious cult that literally tortured her if she didn't follow the rules' theory. I'm voting to forgive her because just like Haruka, I think she's too young to truly be held responsible, especially when it's currently unclear to me what actually happened. I think what she needs isn't punishment, but to be taken away from the cult and rehabilitated.

Mikoto: until we have more info I'm as confused as he is : )

Kotoko: seems to be pretty upfront about what's going on. I'm currently assuming that she fancies herself some kind of vigilante or holds a very strong personal grudge of some sort. Obv waiting for more info.

#ham rambles #long post #milgram #deco*27

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