#also in like 2015 i think i had a blog for a single day that i made to look at the lead singer of halestorm’s blog

[shewhosleepsalotincemeteries]

From the ask thing you reblogged: what made you start your blog?

Genuinely the silliest reason possible which is that I heard about the April Fools crabs two years ago and wanted to participate lol

[marengogo]

UGH!-7: … Time To Pack It All Up, Y’all!

Be Mine (English Version) - by Jimin  [Be Mine (English Version)]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

⚠️TW⚠️: I’m usually vulgar, but in this post, I might have outdone myself .

My dearest Gurls, Bois and Enbys, 

How’s everyone been doing? Are you enjoying Muse? Are you looking forward to RUN JIN? Are you ready for Are You Sure?!? Oh, let ��🏾 me 👏🏾 tell 👏🏾 you 👏🏾, the excitement is way too real and I can’t even that's literally all the words I can fathom for now, I’m terribly sorry! That being said my Darlings, I’m afraid today’s blog will have to address a point I’m now realising that I must address, and I quite frankly assumed I wouldn’t have to, given that I am part of The Community and all. You see, there seems to be many Gladiators that wander into my neck of the woods completely misguided.  

They seem to think that my blog exist just so I can be present if one day JM and JK have sex on national TV, so that I can gloat in the faces of the Capulet enemy as I slay them with my mighty, and metaphorical, sword and bathe in their “blood” while I celebrating with fellow Montagues. Well, it is with a heavy heart, and great sadness, that I must inform you that frankly my dear, I don’t give a fuck, about none o’dat. Statements such as “Clearly JM has been single” like this Gladiator over here →  [LINK] or “JK has been fucking pussy every hour, every minute, every second” as the rest of Twitter ARMY believes or “They’ve been living together and have 100% been a couple since 2015, if you'd believe they are definitely real, why are you here...” like others on this app can really miss me, cause;

I 👏🏾 DON’T 👏🏾 GIVE 👏🏾 A 👏🏾 FLYING 👏🏾 FUCK 👏🏾.

The reason why I built this little nest in these treacherous woods is because, upon a sudden realisation, while looking at JK & JM, after careful observation and educated guessing, it started to feel like “Oh, hold on a minute … There might be something there …”. The idea that within this band that I adore there might be someone who is part of the community, like me, literally had my head implode, and not only that. It would appear that two particular members who seem to bring out the best in each other, as well as within those whom they interact with, might in fact be in this possible queer relationship, would make it even better, since we all love a stunning and powerful couple.

So yes, I am indeed here for the representation of it all. I’m not sure how many can relate, but as a minority in so many aspects of life, race, gender, sexual orientation etc, the feeling of having a fellow minority out in society who has the means and the will to live there life openly because coming out isn’t a must, we have the right also to not come out if we don’t want to as a minority is very positive and encouraging for all the rest of us, regardless of whether or not we decide to eventually come out or not. 

Though there’s obviously been many others who’d come out before Matt Bomer, he is the one coming out I will never forget. I loved White Collar like borderline obsessed. I watched it when it came out and it was my favourite guilty pleasure show before Suits. What I loved the most was watching him and Tim DeKay interact behind the scenes or during bloopers with the rest of the cast too, goofy as hell! And then in 2012 (three years in) Matt finally came out and took me by a storm, the fact that he had been able to keep his husband and three children hidden for all that time was also 🤯🤯🤯.

Once again, many others had come out before him Ricky Martin, for example, in 2010 but because White Collar was such a big part of my life, I was so ecstatic, it felt like a friend came out. It was also so great to see how much everyone on set, and the fans, were supportive and how much freer and happier he’s been since then. When Mew and Tul confirmed their relationship last month just a couple of months after Thailand legalised gay marriage y’all should have seen my face, I couldn’t stop grinning. All the speculations, the pictures, the public trips, etc etc etc. Anyways, they’ve both gone through quite some drama in the previous years, Mew in particular, so I am indeed quite happy for them.

So if JM and JK are not dating, or there isn’t a single queer person in the whole of bangtan and all have girlfriends and wives, or there are queer tannies and they are dating other queer people, or whichever other possible combinations, as long as they are happy, so will I, because I am first and foremost an OT7 ARMY and all I will always want is their happiness. I am thus afraid that you will not see me shed any tears, nor hear any miserable barking, in this neck of the woods; so~rry.

Guess I’m not packing up after all next time I’m bringing out my luggage best be for my trip to Japan …! So, in conclusion, and just as a reminder for anyone passing by as well, this has been, still is, and will always be a Possibly Queer until proven Definitely Straight safe space, as well as a space where amongst plenty other things obviously all things queer can and will be gracoiusly discussed and analysed to my discretion; You di~g?

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

[backroomsaesthetic]

How a Bad Date Turned Me into a Serial MILF Hunter

I asked a while ago if I could turn this blog into a personal one. Y’all said it was cool, but I never did anything with it until now.

I met this girl named Jenny. I was in the dorm living room getting a haircut from my barber when Jenny walked in to check on her cookies. She was a cute, small Thai girl with black hair. We asked her what she was doing and after some banter, I asked her how much she was charging for the cookies. She laughed and offered one for free as a token of friendship. Maybe it was the warm cookie, maybe it was the banter but I had a good feeling about her.

I ran into her a couple of days later while walking back to my dorm and noticed she was on my floor. She was as surprised as I was when we discovered that we basically lived across from each other. She said we should hang out sometime, and I told her, "Sure," so she asked for my phone number. We exchanged numbers and then went our separate ways. A few days later, I saw her again. She apologized for being busy but mentioned she was up for hanging out later in the week. That's when I broke the bad news. After I met her I got offered a house and would be moving soon. She was flabbergasted and asked when I would leave. I sheepishly mentioned, “Well, in two days, I will be gone.” To my surprise, she asked for my ADDRESS and said she would come over. I was flattered, gave her the addy and told her I would be busy with moving but afterwards we should be cool. Also note that we weren’t texting in the meantime. We just had each other’s numbers and that was that.

I moved and kinda forgot about her until I went in for another haircut and randomly saw her doing laundry. She later mentioned that she felt terrible seeing me then because she was in her "I’m not seeing anyone" outfit and said she felt ugly. I thought she still looked great and I talked to her. We hadn’t seen each other for a couple of months, and I mentioned it was good to see her and a shame we never really got to hang out. She said she was still up for it since the summer break had started and she had more time. So we set up a date at my place. I would make dinner, and she would bring dessert. I also proposed picking her up in my car, which in hindsight is a crazy ask. Think about it, you're going to a guy’s house, someone you barely talked to. He’s going to pick you up, meaning you have no way of getting home if you want to, and you don’t know where you are to begin with. Crazy. But we were both oblivious so I picked her up in the car, went home and made some Korean food which she liked.

When it came to picking a movie, she mentioned that she loved Disney movies. I was down to watch whatever Disney movie because how bad can a Disney movie be until she mentioned she adored *The Descendants*… If you just went, "I don’t know what that is, and I saw all the Disney movies," I would say the same. The movie is from 2015, featuring some Disney XD actors in a musical. It’s at this point I gotta to mention that she’s 19 and I’m 24. Which doesn’t seem like much, but man… When your favorite movie is from 2015, I feel old AF.

After the movie and food, we just kinda talked about whatever. I also noticed that if I didn’t keep the conversation going, we’d just sit in silence. Like, she would respond to what I was saying and also add her own story, but if I waited for her to start talking, I would keep waiting. It wasn’t too bad since I’m a certified yapper and can just keep going but after some time it did start to bother me.

During dinner, I asked her what she would like to drink, and she saw the two soju bottles I had and picked those. But then she asked if it was okay for me to drink and drive her home… Mind you, I’m 220 lb and 6'3". A single bottle of soju isn’t going to do shit. I need like three back to back before it even starts to tickle my brain. I assured her I would bring her home safely, and we started playing a drinking game. Now, halfway through her bottle, she mentioned that if she took another sip she would probably puke. I don’t know if she was nervous or what, but indeed she had that classic Asian redness in her face and was clearly drunk. Again now she is in some dude's house, with no way of getting home, AND she is shitfaced drunk. On one hand I am happy she felt safe and comfortable enough to act this way around me. On the other hand, that isn’t a smart thing to do. She mentioned later that her phone was blowing up because her friend was keeping tabs on her. I’m glad she has good friends but still.

So we sat on the couch with me stone cold sober and her drunk until she said, “Okay, I want to go home now.” And I was like, “Alrighty then.” We walked to the car (like a 5 min walk), and she went ahead and said, “I am so drunk I probably won’t remember anything after this point.” I didn’t know what to say to that. I put her arm around mine, and she leaned up against me as we walked back. I brought her home safely and hugged her goodbye. At the time, I thought it was a great date. Some dinner, a movie that was kinda slop but the good kind slop, some drinks, and a story to tell. But the more I looked back, the more red flags popped up. I started wondering whether the age gap was too big.

Later I posted a vlog on insta which she complimented. I thanked her and asked if she was up to make a mini vlog together. And so the second date was set. Only not really. I proposed going to the arcade and eat something afterward. But two days before the date, she mentioned she wanted to go to the movies instead. Now, I love movies. I’m a certified Letterboxd user, okay? But man, do I hate movies as a date. You’re sitting in the dark for two hours watching something else. So instead of getting to know each other, you’re watching Timothée Chalamet attempt getting his first Oscar for the billionth time. It’s silly. I don’t like them at all. So I said to her, “Yeah, I would love to go to the movies; let's do it.” I know okay I know. She picked *It Ends with Us*, and not gonna lie, I was just admiring Blake Lively for the better part of two hours. I usually don’t look up movies before seeing them, but I checked the reviews of this movie, and... they were not high. But she picked the movie, and I figured at least she would have a fun time.

Until halfway through the movie, she goes, “This movie is boring.” *Insert internal screaming.* So I told her I agreed and that we could just dip and get some food. But then they started fist fighting in the movie, and she said, “Nah, it's good.” So I sat through the movie (wasn’t that bad tbh), but I wasn’t invested at all. I asked her how many times she had been to the movies. She then mentioned she hadn’t been since she moved from Thailand… WHICH BEGS THE QUESTION, WHY ARE WE IN THE MOVIES RIGHT NOW??? I thought she must love going to the movies or watching them, but now I am two mid movies in for no reason.

Afterwards we walked to the mall to get food, but when we got there, I asked, “So, what are you feeling?” and she goes, “Oh, I’m not hungry, I had some popcorn remember.” She was referring to the popcorn I bought, of which she ate maybe 10% before we threw it in the trash. So now we are seated in this mall with just me being hungry because we basically skipped dinner to watch the movie right after work. And she says she’s not hungry... so I got some Chinese sharing platter, but she only took one or two snacks, and the rest was for me. Sadly it was too much even for my big ass and we left.

She mentioned we could walk home in the cool summer evening. So we talked some more but since dinner the same thing happened as last time. I was talking and asking her questions, but she never really asked me anything in return besides the “and you?” pingpongs. So at some point, I thought, “Maybe I am just talking too much. Maybe she wants to just enjoy her evening, and here is this guy yapping with no end in sight.” So after some back and forth, I stopped talking and just enjoyed the night air and her company. This went on for like a minute or two until she asked, “Do you feel awkward walking in silence?” I told her I didn’t mind the silence and asked her what about her, and she goes, “Yeah, I feel awkward walking in silence.” *MORE INTERNAL SCREAMING.*

IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE SILENCE, THEN JUST GO AHEAD AND SAY SOMETHING??? It’s at this point I knew this wasn’t going anywhere. I even asked her if she wanted to talk about a certain subject or if she had any questions for me but she replied with a simple, “No, not really.” I mean, come on. So you don’t have anything to say but also don’t like walking in silence…how does that even work? So, I started talking about the reason why I won't ever do shots again, and she told me about her drunkest story ever. We got to her house. Finally. And we hugged goodbye. I’m not planning on ever seeing her again after this date because, sheesh.

So, I tried, guys. I really did. I tried dating girls within my age range, but I can’t do this. I’m going back to my MILF hunting habits, but that’s a story for another time.Was I in the wrong here? Did I do something I shouldn’t have done, or was it just her? I don’t know, do let me know.  

[officialjanetweiss]

List 8 tv shows for your followers to get to know you.

Tagged by @nero-neptune

OOPS I was tagged in this like a year ago and am just getting around to posting it 😅 I’m the queen of starting these and then saving them to my drafts to finish later and then just abandoning them. ANYWAY

(I, too, am giving a lil blurb for each one bc I love to talk)

Desperate Housewives

I started watching it a couple weeks ago finished it in the spring and I love one (1) republican. I am now slowly thrifting all of the seasons on DVD

My mom watched it when it first aired and I never sat down and joined her but I remember catching glimpses. As an adult I knew I would love it before I even started and I was right! It has WOMEN. It’s outrageous. It’s hilarious. It’s addicting. The theme song is glorious!! Almost every episode title is a reference to a Sondheim song!!! It has (mostly) aged surprisingly well. And in general it just reminds me of a time before streaming when TV was…different. Idk how to put it into words but first of all, remember when shows had 20+ episodes per season? Never forget what they took from us.

Glee

IYKYK. Any “old” songs I know I know because of either Glee or Rockband. Jayma Mays was my awakening. It introduced me to Rocky Horror and many other musicals. It got me into media literacy/critique and was the first show that I anticipated every single week and the first show I gave up on before it ended. I could go on for ages but you just had to be there (my tumblr from 2012-2015).

Passions

I watched this with my mom as a little kid and am slowly rewatching now. Soap operas are a staple on her side of the family and Passions is the only one I ever got into, because I was like 4 and there was ✨magic✨. As an adult I’m not even really into fantasy but in this case it works for me bc it’s so balls to the wall insane. I definitely don’t think I could get into it today if it weren’t for the childhood nostalgia. It ran for almost 10 years, which is not long considering some soaps are still kicking after 50 or 60. But at 2,231 episodes it’s a LOT if you’re not used to the slow pacing of the soap opera format. It’s so special to me though. I have cat and baby names picked out bc of characters on this show. AND THE THEME SONG!!

Soap

My all time fave. For 10 years I have run the only tumblr blog dedicated to Soap. It’s hilarious and touching and was ahead of its time. Susan Harris is a genius. Fleabag falling in love with a priest? Susan Harris did it first. That lady on Days of Our Lives being possessed? Susan Harris did it first. Who shot JR? Susan Harris did it first. The Golden Girls sitting at a table eating dessert and talking about sex? Susan Harris did that but she also did it BEFORE SHE DID IT. I’ve rewatched this show so many times and there are still scenes that make me laugh out loud. I would die for Jessica Tate. Bury me with the boxset.

That Girl

Just started watching this (in real time, not a year ago) and it’s just so fun!! Marlo Thomas is a cutie. Her wardrobe is unreal. I’ve laughed out loud quite a few times. She has great chemistry with the leading man whose actor’s name I shan’t bother to look up. I feel like I started watching it at the perfect time in my life too.

Ann Marie 🤝🏼 Cute little aspiring actresses who just moved out on their own to the big city and don’t have sex 🤝🏼 Me

Trial & Error

Came for Jayma, stayed for everything. Last year I watched Arrested Development for the first time and if you like that show I think you’ll like Trial & Error. Mockumentary style, wacky characters, great running gags. It was gone too soon and I’m still waiting for a season 2 DVD release.

Out of the Box

Here’s a throwback bc who am I if I don’t put a kids show on the list? I loved this show when I was little. It’s so underrated. I showed it to my current babysitting kids when I first started watching them and they love it too :,) Watching it as an adult makes me so emotional idk why. It warms my heart. If I were to ever become a preschool teacher I would make the babies sing the ending song at their graduation and make their parents cryyyy. If you have little guys in your life you should show it to them. It’s on Disney + (eewwww) but there might be episodes on youtube too.

Instead of blabbing about an 8th show here are some runner ups that I’ve enjoyed over the years, some of which I think are v underrated: Tuca & Bertie, Girlfriends, Mum (BBC, not to be confused with Mom, which I also enjoy), Fleabag, Go On, Jane the Virgin, Wonderfalls, Masters of Sex (might be due for a rewatch of that one), The Fosters (fuck them kids tho), Pushing Daisies, One Mississippi

I tag @lifesizehysteria @cakesexuality @sic-transit-gloria-mea and you can do it again @nero-neptune, I know you have more shows to talk about.

[isakyakihasmyheart]

Mind Dump 5 years on...

This is the first time I've logged into this account since 2019(ish) so I'm pretty sure there's going to be no one left here but if you are, Hi! I'm just going to dump this post here because I am a tumblr girl at heart and laying my most deepest thoughts to strangers on the internet is all I've ever known...

After the recent news of the death of Liam Payne 2 days ago I've been thinking about this website non-stop. Like many people, this news hit me so unexpectedly emotionally. Grieving someone I never knew, but also grieving a time in my life I can never ever experience again.

My life has changed so much since I last logged into this account, and yet so little at the same time. I started this account in early 2017 after I got into SKAM back in 2016, abandoning a previous Dan and Phil centred account I had from 2014. I was still in school, the last season of SKAM lining up with my own life of leaving school and starting university. I remember thinking that was so cool, watching these characters I grew to adore also experiencing their last year alongside me. I started university in late 2018, studying to become a nurse but yet never got over SKAM. Instead, I became obsessed DRUCK and connected to Matteo in a way I haven't ever experienced with another fictional character since (the only close match being Connell from Normal People in that one uni scene iykyk). However, I ultimately ended up abandoning this account in 2019.

I don't actually know why I stopped coming on this website. Because since I was 14 this website was all I could ever think about. Me and best friend in 2014 were absolutely obsessed with tubmlr. We would literally spend hours on this website reblogging the most random things, and things that at that point in our lives meant so much to us. And with this recent news, I've felt this strong tsunami of nostalgia for that period of my life.

I was never a 1D blog, but I loved 1D. Not very openly as I had older sisters who made fun of me for it. I squashed any outwardly expression of my love for them to avoid this at all costs. A major cost being turning down to go and see them in concert in 2014/2015 when my friend (mentioned above) had an extra ticket. I think about that often and regret it every time. When covid came around and we were in lockdown I was in the mid/end of my 2nd year of uni, 20 years of age. I know a lot of people talk of how they regressed back to their younger passions, and so did I. I had the full 1D experience I never let myself have, not caring about others' opinions on it (mainly my older sister). I listened to their music nonstop every single day, watching so many edits and even reading fan fics. I truly felt like I was 14 again. But there was always that voice in the back of my head saying, "you're too late, it's not the same, you've missed out on it all." I yearned with everything in me to be that teenage girl again. It was during this period in 2020 that my family relationships also became very volatile and dysfunctional, meaning 1D became an even bigger safe space for me.

I've always been a nostalgic person in the worst way possible. I can't help but let the regrets of things I never did consume me. The thoughts of how different my life could be, how different I could be, it always plagues me. I know this sounds dramatic because I'm talking about a 2010s boyband, believe me I know it does.

But I was 14 when my life started to go to shit, when my mental health first started to decline and truthfully it has never recovered. Maybe because in the back of my mind, I always felt like that 14 year old girl, scared and alone and hurting so bad with no one to help her. And the unbelievable shocking news of Liam Payne dying, it's just transporting me back to that period of my life. Even more so as I lost my dad very unexpectedly and traumaticly in March this year.

I just feel so full of grief for so many things all at once, all separate yet all so intertwined. I would truly give anything and everything I have to just relive being that teenage girl, even the unspeakable bad parts. And it makes me so angry to know I can't. And of course, I can't, because that's not how time works! Yet it feels like I can't breathe when I come to that realisation. In all its dramatic flare, it genuinely feels like it's killing me that I can't ever experience that life again.

All in all, I'll never truly forget this website. Especially not this account, I loved this account! Maybe this is just the part of growing up I'm currently struggling with. I'm 24 now, which in itself is scary because no matter what I am and always will be that 14 year old girl.

Girlhood is forever and always xx

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 07/02/2024

Battle Emergency

Season 4 Episode 2 Featured on: Paper Jams - A High​-​Quality Album ~ The First Fold

Ripped by Cryptrik

Requested by circunflexo! (@circunflexonoa)

Over its life, there's been a lot of projects on SiIvaGunner where it's easy to tell they were driven by individual rippers' passions, moreso than satiating the hunger of a wider audience. There's of course Jass' excellent Genesis renditions of the soundtrack to Sonic CD, as shown in Collision Chaos Good Future JP [CD Beta Mix], there's ShonicTH's push for Kingdom Hearts content to be on the channel with rips like Trial of the Heart, and of course Chaze the Chat's legendary infatuation with pop music sensation Sean Kingston in Take You To The Desert - with no particularly strong feelings toward any other music artists of the 2000s. Yet of these projects listed, I don't think any of them felt quite as prominently featured on the channel as the three-part Paper Jams project.

Prominent channel member PinkieOats, of Live and Ooooooooooooooh, was once on an episode of the now-ended SiIvaGunner interview podcast series "The High Quality Podcast" (which, ftr was a huge inspiration for me to start this blog!). From just that one hour of time spent listening to PinkieOats alone, I could tell that the guy REALLY loved the first two Paper Mario games - hell, his profile picture since time immemorial has been of a pink Boo enemy rendered in the Paper Mario artstyle. Just a few months after said podcast episode, SiIvaGunner revealed "Paper Jams - and it thus came as no surprise to me to learn that it was a successor to a 2015 project by PinkieOats and Nape Mango, five whole years earlier. The goal of Paper Jams? To, across a collection of album, rip *every single track* from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door.

The tracks wouldn't all be ripped by PinkieOats and Nape Mango this time, of course - they now had the entire SiIvaGunner team collaborating with them for this rather ambitious event, and the results of that collaboration are evident as clear as day with Cryptrik's Battle Emergency. I've covered Cryptrik's work in the past with rips like Maroonbound and Give Me the Fantasy, and it was actually my coverage on the latter rip that prompted today's requestee to suggest yet more of the guy's rips for the blog. But it really cannot be stressed enough just how effortlessly Cryptrik is consistently able to make his rips just sound flat-out FUN, in large thanks to his mastery of utilizing large amounts of pure *noise* in rips. It would not surprise me one bit if I learned he was an actual DJ, but his influences are immensely clear regardless - dude rocks, basically.

Battle Emergency straddles a fantastic line in my eyes between succumbing entirely to Cryptrik's noise-driven style and still maintaining the original charm of The Thousand-Year Door's music - a balance that I believe is important to have in mind whilst working for a tribute project like Paper Jams in particular. The whimsical, energetic vibe of the Battle Theme lying underneath it all doesn't get lost, but is coated in an absolute barrage of mostly funk-related songs - primarily led by FUNK EMERGENCY, but joined by parts from Walk the Dinosaur, Uptown Funk, and the ever-memorable melody of Black Betty (bam-ba-lam), really just letting Cryptrik go wild with his signature style.

And yeah - it all works to excellent effect! The rip often reminds me of rips like Everybody's Special Course or Memey Hell in how the amount of noise and scattershot sources only aid in giving the track a fun, exciting feel - like you're at the center of two concerts playing at once and having the best time of your life. Its the kind of rip that almost leaves you exhausted after you're done listening - yet also the kind of rip that's endlessly relistenable as a result for how many phases it goes through in such a standard runtime. Althewhile the positive energy it instills also serves to spills over into my impression of Paper Jams as a whole - it truly sells the idea that, though the project was started by PinkieOats and his own passion, it is one that so many others of the SiIva team love just as much and want to celebrate just as loudly. Because really - moreso than colleagues, isn't the SiIvaGunner team really just a bunch of musicians who love jamming out to one another's music?

[sportsthoughts]

Sorry if I missed this lore drop previously, but how'd you get into the Pens? I love your gifs and positivity that you bring to the lb!

Buckle up anon. I thought about one line answering this but I enjoy the phrase 'lore drop' so much I think you deserve the deep dive. It'll take a while to get to the pens but you asked for lore so...

I have been sportsthoughts on tumblr since 2015 ish - maybe slightly earlier - and this has always been a sportsblr/sports rpf-y type blog in various iterations.

This blog was originally used for liveblogging UK Premier League and La Liga football matches. I have always been a huge football fan (my childhood team is Arsenal - north London forever ❤️ etc etc) and when I moved away to university at 18 none of my new friends were into sports and I really missed watching games with my family.

Finding other likeminded fans online who were also watching games and liveblogging them was such a beautiful experience and I have amazing memories of 2015-2018ish when I was a very active football blog, spent a lot of the time in the Arsenal/FC Barcelona communities here and had some beautiful trips to Barca.

I do have a sideblog where I still dabble in that space but in truth I very rarely liveblog football anymore because nowadays it's returned to being something I watch with friends and family so I'm not on my phone during games.

Here's where the pens come in - sort of. I've scrolled back through my AO3 bookmarks and can see in 2015 I also got into sports RPF for the first time. There are some incredible football RPF fics out there (let me know if you'd like some recs!). Somehow - probably through raiding people's bookmarks - in early 2015 I ended up reading a Sid/Geno fic called And Never Been Kissed and I was absolutely hooked. At the time of reading this I had:

1. Never watched a game of hockey in my life (side note, I don't think I can understate how little hockey coverage there is in the UK. Even the most ardent sports fan would probably not be able to name a single NHL player or team. Not even Sid! Not even Gretzky!)

2. I had no idea, nor any desire to look up who these people actually were. It was just like reading really well written original fiction.

For the next 7 years I thoroughly enjoyed hockey RPF and created (in my mind) entire personalities and appearances for Sid and Geno, along with all the other 'characters I came across regularly in hockey fic. Sid, I got pretty close to the mark. Geno, not so much. One day I will try and find some reference pictures for what I thought they looked like because it’s quite hilarious. When I re-read fics I love from during that time I laugh because I remember my Sid and Geno and how different they were from reality.

So, hockey was sort of in my life from 2015 but exclusively in the form of fics. I would scroll through the actual hockey bits of works because I didn’t understand the rules and why every single fic was an AU where professional sports people were allowed to fight each other mid game.

At this point I’d left university, and because I no longer liveblogged football games, I found I really missed sports fandom. Another sport I grew up watching and loving was Formula 1 so when lockdown hit in March 2020 I started liveblogging F1 races to pass the time (and still do sometimes - now over on @vroomlive). I loved/still love F1blr, but it didn't quite fill my fandom itch because:

1. We joke about it, but F1 is a deeply unserious sport run by a dire organisation (Liberty Media). They change the rules every week and it's managed badly to the point of being comical. There have been a few major cock ups over the years (including the 2021 championship literally being taken away from the rightful winner and given to someone else. To put this in hockey terms: imagine a completely valid goal being overruled in the last 5 minutes of the Stanley Cup final and then the ref deciding to give the other team a 5 on 3 powerplay Just Because) all of this is quite disheartening for long term fans - and has resulted in quite a fractured and angsty fandom.

2. There are only about 20 F1 races a year - so it's just not a sport that's on regularly. I love sports, and I want to watch sports all the time - so a sport that only gave me content every third weekend or so just wasn't really enough for me.

At this point, when I was feeling rather sports fandom bankrupt, the wonderful work of Sid/Geno writers and the influence of the tumblr dashboard converged. I worked this out by scouring my AO3 bookmarks - in April 2021 I read a Sid/Geno fic called Game Plan that I fell head over heels for. I’m still not quite sure what about this fic grasped me so deeply but I started reading a lot more hockey RPF.

Around the same time an F1 blog I followed started posting about Mat Barzal All. The. Time. I had no interest in this man and did not know he was a hockey player but over the course of about a year I became vaguely exposed to hockey content on Tumblr through that blog, and at some point in early 2022, saw Sid on my dash for the first time. I don’t remember the exact post but I remember seeing the name, doing a double take and thinking oh Shit! That’s Sidney Crosby from fanfiction! I was flabbergasted because in my mind Sid was in his early 20s tops, so seeing this early thirties, bearded, fat bottomed man on my dash and realising that that was Sid was such a shock. 

My hockey lurker era lasted from mid 2022 to early 2023 and I spent a lot of time, um, lurking. That sounds so creepy. I suppose I had never thought about actively joining a fandom before because my fandom engagement (one direction > football > f1) had all happened really organically so actually choosing to join a space as an adult was quite an interesting process.

By summer of 2023 my husband’s job changed again meaning he works away from home most weeknights and suddenly my late nights were extremely free because I’d hang out with friends and then go home at 10/11 to an empty house which I hated. I really found myself wanting to make fandom friends and have an at home hobby I could do late at night before going to bed so taking on a sport that happened 12am-2am (timezones!) seemed like a good fit. 

Alongside this on a totally separate track was my longstanding interest in fandom - most of my professional work/research is pretty standard psychotherapy stuff but I’ve done a little bit of work over the last few years looking at sex therapy (not as sexy as it sounds) and I have a real interest in the role that fandom and especially shipping/fic plays in shaping and expressing sexuality. It’s a bit of a back burner research topic for now but I suppose over the years researching fic and expressions of sexuality via fandom and shipping has just made me fall in love with fandom itself a little bit.

Plus having lurked around the edges of hockeyblr for a while I was just like, yeah, I really want in on this, this seems like an awesome community. The reason why I chose the pens was pretty straightforward - I felt like I knew Sid and Geno and after exploring the real life hockey, I, like most of us, was quite struck by who Sid is as a person and was just completely enchanted. Another side note - hilariously, when my husband first saw a picture of Sid last year he immediately said “Oh, he looks like me!” - do with that information what you wish. 

I really eagerly awaited the start of the 2023 season and without sounding too soppy, had already fallen in love with you guys before I ever watched a live hockey game. Every fandom has its difficult corners (pensblr included!) but I can honestly say - especially after the chaos of spending my teenage years knee deep in 1D fandom and my early and mid twenties in various parts of sportsblr - being part of this space has been the most lovely, fun, friendly, lighthearted, positive and beautiful fandom experience I’ve ever had. I feel like it’s the goldilocks zone of all the previous fandoms I’ve been in and I love it.

So yeah! That is the extremely long winded answer to your question, anon. I hope this is the ‘lore drop’ you were looking for lol

TLDR: I stumbled my way through sportsblr until I accidentally ended up here and I’m never leaving.

[fvdani]

Strange Trials, Lord Huron

Heyyy! So, I wanna start this little blog thing where I can talk more about music recommendations because somehow playlists seem not enough, and I love talking about albums and music in depth because, even though I did study music, I do love talking about it and spreading my knowledge. And I thought, what a better way to kick this off than with my favorite album? So, today I will talk about Strange Trials by Lord Huron.

American indie rock band, Lord Huron, formed in 2010 in Los Angeles California, consisting of Mark Barry, Miguel Briseño, Tom Renaud and Ben Schneider, have been pretty consistent regardin album aesthetics. “Formation” and “Lonesome Dreams” their first EP and album, respectively, intruduce you to magic worlds full of folk, love (and all its perks), and poetry. I can almost see how they have their little own world and I really think it is full of magic. Giving it just one listen may be enough, but I promise, you will want to hear more.

“Strange Trials” arrived in 2015. Being their second studio album, Lord Huron had it almost pretty figured out when it came to story-telling, and most of it, thanks so frontman and lyricsist Ben Schneider. You may have heard of it by its most famous song, The Night we Met, in Netflix series 13 Reasons Why, but I think its one of those albums you have to listen from start to end to get the full story.

Althought this is one of those lore-cmplicated bands and albums, and there a lot of holes in the story, just a quick Google search will let you know how much around this album there is. I also think its beautiful that there’s a lot open to interpretation here.

A couple of music videos where released, which, of course, follow the story in order. Through the music videos and story-spinning lyrics, Schneider introduces personas like Frankie Lou, Buck Vernon, and Lily, the object of Buck’s affection who we meet in “Fool for Love,” the first single off Strange Trails.

The album starts off with Love Like Ghosts, a tune that, later on, you’ll realize is the main chord progression for most of the songs, especially with Meet Me In The Woods and The Night We Met. In Love Like Ghosts we get an introduction to almost the whole story of the album, some of the characters, and some pretty iconic lyrics; “Yes I know that love is like ghosts, a few have seen it but everybody talks…”, “Spirits follow everywhere I go, they sing all day and they haunt me in the night.” Yes, you guessed it, its a love story.

We continue to follow the story with throughout the entire album. A story about a man who falls in love so desperetly and everything he does do accomplish his desire, with amazing point of views like Danielle, in Frozen Pines, one of my personal favorites, or The Phantom Riders, with songs like “The World Ender”, “Hurricane”, and “Until the Night Turns”, to mention some.

If you’d like to read a more in-depth lore explanation, there’s a really good Reddit post by MountainGhostsInTrees that I will link down below for thoose of you who’d like to keep reading about this, because as much as I can write, I don’t feel like I could ever do it the right justice.

I will tell you tho, you can listen to this album an infinite amount of times and you’ll never get enough. So I hope you like it as much as I do.

[infintasmal]

30, 22, 17!

Munday asks / Accepting

30.what are your favorite RP tropes to play? (angst, hurt-comfort, etc…)

I like angst and hurt-to-comfort a lot a lot a lot. I also really like AUs, esp like, fantasy or otherwise different world AUs.

22. what do you think of your muse’s canon ship, if they have one?

I don't think any of my muses have officially canon ships tbqh. Some of them, like Kaoru or Marie have 'seems pretty damn canon' ships. And then there's the mobile romance charas (707/kinda Beel) who have canon routes with the MC and those are admittedly cute but it's a player based romance and I think I like MC with other charas more for a variety of reasons (mostly applicable for 7). In media in general, I tend to be pretty okay with canon ships but I do like exploring other options in roleplay.

17. what was your first muse?

Okay, so i started rping when i was in middle school on gaiaonline which was a whole different muse creation system. So my first ever muse was probs some cringey oc, iykyk. My first Official Tumblr Muse was Lavi from DGM back in 2012. I had his blog as a single muse until 2015. The DGM fandom was a great one to get into rping with and I made a lot of friends there and had a blast rping Lavi. I still have him along with two other fandom muses here bc they're still v dear to me and would love to rp as again some day.

[tuiyla]

So I was reading some of your old asks and saw you rank Korrasami above Bubbline and Brittana, which intrigued me. While I'm glad that Korrasami helped to pave the way for lgbt rep in American children's media, I also thought that the LoK writers could have given them more scenes together in Books 3 and 4. As it is, despite their cultural impact, I thought their relationship was underdeveloped compared to Bubbline and Brittana :/ So could you please expand on why Korrasami had an edge over the latter two ships in your opinion? 🤔

Also I hope that Korrasami question doesn't upset you 🙇‍♀️ I just love Bubbline and Brittana so much that I wonder what I might have missed about Korrasami that made you rank them higher than two of my favorite ships ever djdjsk

Not upsetting no worries, I just need to disclaim before I get into the meat of it that, at the end of the day, it's personal preference. It's why I never ever actually try to convince anyone. It's just whatever you prefer. I know stuff I like is never gonna be everyone's tea and I'd hate for someone to constantly be trying to convince me that stuff I'm not into for whatever reason is the Best Thing Ever, Actually. You can be curious and that's cool and I appreciate the interest, just a preamble before we start.

These three ships are indeed easily my top 3 of all time. So far, anyway. I think that ask must be a year old now haha but it stays true. First, I think it's really hard to actually compare something like Brittana to Korrasami and Bubbline, as it's a different medium and entirely different circumstances. Even though the three do mostly overlap in terms of their show's time on air (2012-2014, 2010-2018, 2009-2015) it's just difficult to say, exactly, what Korrasami's "edge" is - just that personal preference, at the end of the day. Because all three ships were major in their own leagues, that league arguably being the same for LoK and Adventure Time. And I adore Bubbline, like, to a degree that I've long tried to encapsulate and you can see if you go back far enough on this blog. I'll use any opportunity to highlight that even they paved the way for Korrasami! And not just the other way around. Before there was the LoK finale or even Book 3, there was the Mathematical controversy and Sky Witch and all that. I actually often lament that media outlets are so ready to credit LoK and Steven Universe before they do Adventure Time and Bubbline because Bubbline only got to reap the benefits years later. Bubbline was a slow burn but make no mistake, they very much created their own fortune.

Anyway, you didn't ask about Bubbline. But all that's to say, I don't measure in terms of groundbreaking representation or legacy or any of that because even with the two Western animation entries it's hard to compare. I adore Brittana but they're third probably because I was a latecomer to Glee and wasn't there as it happened, I don't have that kind of connection with it. I do with Adventure Time and I do with LoK. Bubbline are just, wow, again it's hard to summarize in a post like this what they mean to me. And yet I'd still choose Korrasami as my number one any day.

I know this isn't the best answer I could give or maybe even a particularly good one, and certainly not tangible in any way. But you just had to be there. I don't know how I'd feel about Korrasami if I wasn't there for The Legend of Korra from literally the first image revealed, if I hadn't watched every single week. If I hadn't spent the second half of 2014 in this fandom, trying to figure out where they were going with this relationship. I don't presume to know how you watched the show, but I think it's already a world of difference to watch it after it had first premiered, knowing what the ending will be. Having that expectation. We had no expectations in 2014. I loved every single Korrasami interaction as they happened, felt Book 3 was SUCH a breath of fresh air and looked forward to the girlies bonding more every week. I didn't ship them, I was telling myself, because one did not ship a Sapphic pairing in a cartoon in 2014. I loved them, of course, but I just hoped we'd get as much as possible of their friendship.

Because they were very much established a strong friendship first. That's the entirety of Book 3 on a Korrasami level for me, establishing their strong bond after the love triangle stuff is over for good. They really said, "let's make up for the previous two seasons" and they did. No shade, genuinely, but I always find statements like "they could have had more scenes" funny coming from years later. As it was happening, the fandom did the maths, and forgive me I don't remember the exact numbers but Asami spends about 90% of her Book 3 screentime with Korra. That number is quite high from Korra's, the main character's pov too, over 50%. Book 4 is a different beast but once they're reunited, even the infamous filler episode takes care to put the two together. So I don't think it's about the lack of scenes, I think it's about the subtlety of how it had to be in 2014.

But see, even back then, even when we thought this was impossible to truly be we all thought it was walking that line between subtext queer people read into and something actually intentional. I mentioned I wasn't a shipper because I didn't dare be one. By the time Reunion happened in Book 4, I couldn't help it. I knew it wouldn't lead anywhere but I've always been a shipper more interested in fleshed-out dynamics than Word of God, anyway. So I started calling myself a Korrasami shipper from that point, hoping against hope that the two would end the series - well, not together. Because again, that just seemed impossible. But at least with a bond that's so undeniably deep. And I really think it was, and is, because the writers did have to put that work in and build bit by bit because they weren't allowed to explicitly articulate the kind of attraction the characters were feeling.

And then... December 19th, 2014. I'll never forget. That's the kind of media moment I could never. The following few days, the following months and years and the eventual legacy Korrasami has now. The milestone that now, with series like The Owl House really pales in comparison. And that's a good thing because it tells us how far we've come. But Korrasami will never not be revolutionary to me and their story will never not be breathtaking. Far beyond what it meant for representation, it's what that story of polar opposites and against the odd and balance was. What Avatar is all about, at its core. And, yes, even beyond all that, what it meant to me, personally. Now that couldn't possibly be summarized here.

Again, I adore Bubbline and am holding myself back lest I go feral talking about them. Say the word and a 2k-word essay will drop lol. But Korrasami had two crucial legs up over Bubbline and that's franchise and timing. Franchise, because the world of Avatar will always be my favourite. Love me some AT, but nothing will ever compare to my inner 10 year-old watching any Avatar project. And timing, well, I've lamented it in this very post. I wholeheartedly believe AT kicked off this golden age of Sapphic animation in 2011 but LoK ended its run in 2014. It led somewhere sooner. I don't like admitting this, but by the time Bubbline kissed in 2018, it was "fucking finally." That part is what it is. It's just one factor in all this.

I know I didn't talk about Korrasami much, I'd be happy to get into the nitty-gritty of the story more and why I think it's anything but underdeveloped. This is less of a personal preference thing though still subjective, but I think they're more well-developed than either Bubbline or particularly Brittana. But you asked for my reasons, and it's that je ne sais quoi of personal preference, at the end of the day. Nothing will ever mean to me what Korrasami did. (That said, maybe you'll be interested in this little project I did a while back that covers both Bubbline and Korrasami, as well as Catradora. At least it's some of my thoughts and analysis on these characters and couples.)

[self-loving-vampire]

Have you heard about Kohakus?

I am so normal about Kohaku.

I have already written multiple essays on her and how she makes me feel understood in a way no fictional character has before, for reasons that go beyond the obvious too. I feel a strange kind of connection to her to the point where I might even feel empathy for her (though it may just be projection) and she has started to voice some thoughts of mine in a way.

First, the more obvious reasons why I might feel this way.

There are the similarities in backgrounds. I also grew up with an abusive, authoritarian, dangerously short-tempered, violent, and very wealthy man. He didn't keep me confined to a single room or hurt me every single day, it wasn't quite that bad (and in my case it was mostly non-sexual as well), but it still left me in a hopeless state and damaged my brain in ways that I can't deny.

And, like her, I found a little bit of comfort in just deciding to stop caring about my problems and ceasing to feel things so I can just dissociate through those kinds of events. Even now after a lot of recovery I still find myself "going cold" when under stress even without trying to.

But there are other points that connect me to her in ways that I consider much more important than these broader areas. I don't relate to every character who endured child abuse this much after all.

What makes her stand out to me is not that she was abused, or even that she disconnected from her emotions as a result of it. It is that she became deceitful and manipulative as a result of the abuse and then used that against her abusers, creating a long-term plot.

My own "Kohaku Arc" (if we can call it that) was the single most dramatically life-changing and character-defining period of my life and lasted from late 2011 to around the middle of 2015. I was even posting for most of it so people who knew me from my previous blog probably saw what happened live.

The summary is that I manipulated my family into sending me to Canada "to study", only to run away and apply for asylum. I succeeded completely and to this day they still don't know what it is that I did.

This really felt like it was the "main quest" of my life. It was the climax of everything I had planned for literal years. In hindsight, it is entirely unsurprising that I'd connect with and root for a character who is using similar tools (deception, patience, emotional self-control, etc.) against her own abusers.

But there's so much more than that as well.

There is the way in which she is really good low empathy representation despite being a villain with a 100+ indirect death toll. I don't think she is a perfect fit for NPD or that she was written with NPD in mind, but there are definitely lots of obvious things about her that resemble the way people with NPD are described. For example:

There's also the way in which she also put more abuse on her own plate for the sake of protecting someone (although in my case it was my mother rather than a younger sibling).

The way she lost her identity and struggled to find something to live for at all due to the void created by the abuse.

The way she decided that being a human was painful and it would be best to become a doll (something I also expressed very literally many years ago).

The way she re-created herself as a cheerful and energetic person despite it all, and eventually truly became the kind of person she wished to be.

It all feels very real and I have already written a lot about it in other posts too.

Though, as I said above, my own route is already all done and the good ending has been achieved so I'm more of an Epilogue Kohaku with a real smile by now if anything.

[hotarutranslations]

Washiho--, Radio, Scawaii!, #Da-nce, Rockin' Announcement

Evening

Washiho--!!!

I checked the results in between a shoot, It was heart pounding, with the same points and the extension…

After the shoot,

🔴After the match real LIVE

When I saw the notification on YouTube, I had confidence in! Washiho--! Head-to-head! Washiho--!

Today I have a lot of things to share!

Today it released🎈 Scawaii!

Oda Sakura-chan and I had a shoot, It was fun one way or another, Everyone on the Scawaii-san staff as well, They were kind to the presence of Daasaku lol It was cute and fun to have published🎈

We also talked in an interview, The conversation may have been brought up because of the space It is something we normally talk about though but.. We hadn't really done it in public so,

By all means! Check out Scawaii, ok!

From when we shot the autumn goods

The goods penlight, T-shirts, Stickers, the ultra acrylic stands, the members also have the patch on the outfits, Its all cute💙

Here

By all means

From today its streamed Miyo=chan's Engawa💜

Hello! Radio

I talked a lottttt, With BEYOOOOONDS's Hirai Miyo-chan!

WIth Miyo-chan, We always talk about dance in this way, Talking about our activities We have very similar thoughts, Sometimes our concerns are similar, Therfore, its often like, I get it! I'm also helped by her💜

I'm happy we can send out, a bit of sometimse thats normal for us on the radio

There were various corners, Since its super interesting on radio lol

Please definitely listen

Playing things in reverse, and theater, is amazing lol

A lot of updates today💙 Da-nce practice ver.

I updated all the songs from 2015 together It was really the era of a truly new system

Sukatto My Heart..🕺 I've really liked the dance to the song since that time, Now we're definitely matching the mood of the song and the way its danced, I'm confident I'm good at it, Its true that time has passed, The fine waves and steps, Also how to change my center of gravity, I'm conscious of it without fail as I thought it would be in good style

Comparing it to ENDLESS SKY, (Although it may look different) I think you can see that the posture is different

With Yuugure wa Ameagari, Since we haven't performed this song in a long time, I was checking the choreography at the beginning but, My dancing was reallyyyyy awkward at that time⚠️ With that, even now, Although I've never really studied ballet, I wonder which angle would look pretty.. I've faced this many times, certainly since then

..I could write about all of them but

Seishun Kozo Naiteiru, Please definitely watch until the end lolol

Announcement⋆͛📣 Rockin' Announcement

🤍

Really, everyone please don't be late

Its Grass Stage Its Hitachinaka Its crazy, right, the stage

We're first in the morning, Morning Musume '24 will be making it exciting

By all means! Please come and support! I'll be waiting!

Thank you very much for the ceremonial pitch, at Rakuten Mobile Park Miyagi⚾️

Play▶️List

Debut song 48th Pyoko Pyoko Ultra~

I danced a lot on my own..

🕺

Graduation Announcement Blog🐣🪽

Now Accepting Photobook Preorders🤍

Hello! Station #531 I also talk about my graduation in this video

📺The MusiQuest 2024 They're airing a live digest from that day!

̗̀📣 Over-Air Broadcast September 14th (Sat) 4:00~4:30AM~ ̗̀📣 CS Broadcast September 28th (Sat) 12:00~5:00PM

📺Sendai Broadcast "Ara Ara Kashiko"

I appear once a month as part of the AraKashi Family

The previous shows, and makings, are on OX VIDEO STORE!

📺Hello Pro Dance Every other Thursday at 11:30PM~

Season 12 will start airing, On October 17th (Thurs)🕺

Thank you for following.. Instagram💙🩵

💿 August 14th new single✨ "Nandaka Sentimental na Toki no Uta/saiKIYOU"

🪩"Morning Musume '24 Concert Tour Autumn WE CAN DANCE!"

Its Ishida Ayumi's last tour💙 I'm looking forward to seeing you

🪩"ROCK IN JAPAN FESTIVAL 2024 in HITACHINAKA" September 22nd GRASS STAGE 10:30AM~

→Tickets are on general sale

📚SCawaii! Releasing September 17th

Ishida and Oda will be published in it We had a shoot~

📻Morning Musume '24 Morning Jogakuin ~Houkago Meeting~

Airs Every Saturday, On Radio Nihon at 12:00AM~

Past Broadcast Episodes Are Available →Program Details

I visited as a guest🪽 "Sayashi Riho and The Time From Now On" presented by Meiji Bulgarian Yogurt

📻I visited as a guest🤍 Harami-chan no Harami Fan Radio♪

Web The Television

see you ayumin <3 https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12867953354.html

[thewealthysocialite]

What Ever Happened to Tila Tequila?

Hey hotties, so for my first blog I want to talk about someone who I had somewhat of a fascination with when I was younger and that's Tila Tequila, for the younger people who have no idea who this woman with the funny name is, Tila Tequila is.. or was a television personality, singer/rapper, blogger, occasional actress, socialite, and model. But most importantly, she was pretty much the world's first social media influencer. See, after being suspended so many times on the now-defunct Friendster, Tila Tequila joined MySpace in fall of 2003 and by 2006 she became the most friended person of the MySpace. From what I've read, I believe she was apart of a rock band at the time of joining MySpace but that's kind of irrelevant to the story, anyhow, in 2007, MTV offered Tila Tequila her own reality show, the concept was a dating show that offered both male and female bachelor and bachelorette's, respectively titled A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila (Get it because Tequila and Shot?). So bam not only was she the most followed person on MySpace but now she was a pioneer for the bisexual reality television world. The show ran for two seasons and although she picked a gentleman named Bobby, they never even went out together let alone ever have her phone number. The following season, she picked a girl named Kirsty but in the biggest plot twist, Kristy rejected the offer and gave the world (me at least) one of the best season finale's in dating show history, with Kristy looking at the mansion one last time before entering the limo to leave Tila all alone crying in her bedroom to "Keep Driving" by Woodale I mean it was really good to me at least. The show was then handed down to the bisexual twin hooters waitresses Rikki and Vikki Mongeon better known as the Ikki Twins. Around this time, Tila began dating bisexual socialite and would be heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune Casey Johnson (who I will be making a blog on) and on December 9, 2009, Tequila announced via Ustream, her engagement to the socialite. Unfortunately on January 4, 2010, Casey Johnson was found dead inside of her Los Angeles estate by a housekeeper. Casey's cause of death was later revealed to be diabetes which she had struggled with from the age of 8. In my opinion, this was the beginning of Tila's mental downfall. Although, Tila had began to rebrand herself as a blogger under the name Miss Tila and began coming out with more music, in August she was attacked at the Gathering of the Juggalos festival. The same month, her lesbian sex tape was released to the public via Vivid Entertainment. Tila went quiet after this and the only thing I could find was that in January 2012, she discussed converting to Judaism, stating "I just feel like the Jewish people have such a beautiful way about them, and I can't wait to officially be Jewish! Shabbat Shalom." Strangely enough, in 2013, she uploaded a blog which she titled "Why I Sympathize with Hitler." She went on to say the following, “What do you think war is about? People DIE in wars that is why I am against wars… I understand the Jewish people went through some shit too, but hey guess what?? SO DID THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE WHO SUFFERED IN EVERY SINGLE WAR THST [sic] TOOK PLACE! You were NOT the only ones! So please, if the rest of us can forgive and forget maybe it’s time you do also!!!”

Flash forward to 2015, Tila Tequila is invited to go on the British version of Celebrity Big Brother alongside Farrah Abraham, Jenna Jameson, and Daniel Baldwin. At the time, Nguyen (Tequila's surname) was looking to be payed $175,000 win or lose the game. During her time in the house, she got a long with housemates and seemed to be off, not mentally there, overly sexual (regardless of claiming to have a boyfriend at home), and at times, human. However, on day two, she was called to the diary room, however long later, the housemates were called into the living room and told the following, "Due to events outside the Big Brother house, Tila has been removed from the house." Accoring to what I've read, production confronted her about the 2013 blog. The following day, Tila issued a statement,

"Back in 2013 I made a statement about Hitler not being a bad person, and immediately realized soon after that I had made a terrible mistake that would ultimately come back to haunt me. During that time I had been suffering from severe depression, and drug addiction for many years prior to that" She continued, "I also attempted to commit suicide in 2012 and overdosed on prescription pills. I wanted to die. I felt worthless and unloved as that pain continued to grow causing me further to spiral out of control. Losing touch of myself and reality.

"I have made many mistakes that I am definitely not proud about, but I am only a flawed human who is trying my best to be a better person than I was in the past. Although I cannot do much to change my past mistakes now, I can however, try to make things right from this morning forward, and be the best person that I can be. I am in no way, shape or form a racist nor antisemitic and absolutely not 100% a Nazi supporter."

Apparently this apology meant nothing because the following year, on November 18, 2016, Tila posted a photo to twitter of her with two white men posing with the Nazi Salute to which she titled "Seig Heil". Her twitter account was subsequently suspended.

In 2018, she began posting YouTube videos reffering to herself as the "Bride of Christ" and turned into this religious... for a lack of better words, freak. She didn't seem to be doing too bad until around 2022 when she posted a video slurring the N word with the Hard r and pulled out a gun (I dont know the rules on her so i dont know if I'm allowed to say that) which i believe was fake but none the less, her kids were around and it just seems dangerous. She would say her children are Hitler babies and I don't know I mention all of this to show the mental decline of someone who was actually pretty famous and well off to a terrible...person I guess?

Now if you ask me, I think that Tila was going through a lot, as stated in the 2015 apology, I do think she is bipolar, she openly talked about having many alter ego's, one being named Jane which she mentions in her song Rat Room, but I honestly feel sorry for her, and I feel sorry for the kids, I just think if she was medicated none of this would be happening. I also think Casey's death took a toll on her mentally as well.

Well, I've been writing this for 3 or 4 hours which yes I know it's short but I had a lot to say about this situation.

Until next time, you know you love me, XoXo,

- The Wealthy Socialite

[bisluthq]

“Why can’t we trust her what her own songs are about” cause she’s a certified liar?

Just talking about Harry. She implied many many many times that she wrote Trouble about him. MANY TIMES. And it wasn’t about him. It couldn’t have been. He was freshly 18 when that song was written and they had spent about four days together. She made it about him later, when they broke up and she was mad as hell (before they fell back in bed together). Was the song initially about him? No. Did she make it about him? Yes, probably. Which is why Harry replied to it in multiple songs.

Also, she references her own lyrics when the songs are about the same topic. I can’t think of a single example where she doesn’t do that. Hell, we all agree Maroon is about Jake because it’s a darker shade of red.

Taylor is so surface level with her Easter eggs it’s not even funny. Swifties try to make them deep and so convoluted but 99.99% of the time they’re a Lover neon sign for the album Lover.

If home girl has a song called Wildest Dreams on her album, which she writes while hanging out with Harry, and then she says the direct title of the song in another song about Harry, then the song is most likely about Harry. And I think HARRY knows better than you or me. And he also knows Taylor better than you or me. And if he’s calling out her bluff, then he’s most likely right. And you, a stranger on the internet, are wrong.

Their relationship had deep and shallow spells. Everyone who has their feet on the ground and is aware of their back and forth knows this. He inspired Style but also Is It Over Now? He can inspire This Love but also Wildest Dreams. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.

You HAVE to be aware of the fact that she’s a human being with complex feelings and that this back and forth of a relationship went on from March 2012 till early 2015, in whatever capacity. Three years of your life (especially between 22 and 25) is a LONG ASS TIME. Especially in terms of a relationship with someone. Especially if you were only official for a couple of months of that spell. At time she felt like he was the one who’d interrupt her wedding. And at times he was just one of many on her bed.

Your need to put everything in a neat box is sort of infuriating, because man I love your blog and your takes otherwise.

Like, I think Question is about both Harry and Matty. I don’t think she decided to sample Out Of The Woods, the most on the nose Harry Styles song she has ever written (not just interpolate it but also the lyrics), just because she was feeling playful. But I also don’t think she decided to play it when giving that godawful speech about Matty for no reason.

I think the song was escapism. She was having a horrible time with Joe so she needed to go to the garden of her mind. And sometimes it means thinking about exes and what it would be like to be with them instead of with the person that’s currently hurting you so much. And feelings don’t have to be fully linear and you don’t have to have them figured out fully every single time.

Taylor doesn’t have to have been pining over Matty since 2014 or over Harry either. In fact, I think she was NEITHER. I think she had a few years where she was mostly super content with her relationship with Joe (with some downs, of course), but then it ran its course and it went on a lot longer than it should’ve. And she thought about how other people hurt her, and she thought about those exes who didn’t, who she felt she maybe had unfinished business with. And no, it doesn’t have to be just one of them!!!

But then she starts hanging out with one of them, and she romanticizes the HELL out of that one. Maybe Question started about Harry and then as she hung out with Matty it morphed the more time she spent with Matty. Maybe she wrote it fully about Harry but as she worked on Midnights it started to become about Matty. I don’t think the reference is just there for the sake of it. But I’m also not an idiot who thinks she’s idk, gaslighting us or whatever it is that cupcake Swifties tell themselves about her and Matty.

I don’t think she was in love with Matty, but I do think she believed she was. And I think she admitted to that with the temporary insanity plea. She knows it was a period of unhingedness in her life and that she wasn’t thinking clearly, and she’s making no apologies for it. She felt it, she went through it, it elicited a ton of very valid emotions, and she exorcised them on paper.

That doesn’t mean Matty is the love of her life. But she fully convinced herself he was for a while there!!! And both things can be true at the same time.

Taylor is not a TV show character whose thought process is written by a team of people to advance a plot. She’s a complex human being (actually SO complex). People want her to have an arc so bad. And they yank her in different directions all the fucking time and it must be exhausting.

Fans will interpret her music depending on what they like and want to be true instead of what it suggests and what she says and I truly cannot understand it. They want her to have this fairy tale story. Omg her one true love is Matty Healy and they’ll get back together and have babies because they’ve both written every single song since 2014 about each other. And before that it was “omg Joe is a Disney Prince and he’s so protective and he was there waiting for her and they’ve been together for so long.” And then he was a Disney villain. And now the Disney Prince is Travis Kelce lmao.

And they did this song and dance with Tom Hiddles. And they did it with Calvin. And don’t get me started on Haylors, who to this day think they’ll get back together when Harry would probably have a stroke if he had to date someone like her.

Btw, Harry did not introduce Matty and Taylor. By May 2014 Harry legitimately said he had never even met Matty, and there’s no reason to believe he did afterwards. 1D had a writing session with Matty but Harry wasn’t present (he was in LA and the session was in London). I’m pretty sure Matty even said that he hadn’t met Harry by 2015. Matty did absolutely fucking hate Harry’s guts from 2015 on and I have no idea why. He got over it by 2019 and he wanted to produce his album. Then he got mad again and started shading him. He’s weird. I’m glad Taylor is over her temporary insanity.

I’m literally not reading all this but ur valid queen go off idk what to say - anyone who is willing to write an essay is valid for believing that lol. We can… politely agree to disagree? Is that okay? 😘😘 The first few paras seemed decent like I don’t agree but there’s no TRUTH about people on the internet as you correctly say (or even other people we know or even fwiw ourselves like we can change our minds about stuff). Fair play queen. Pop off.

[wot-tidbits]

10 Years Anniversary

PART 6

The good.

This part is for the good shit. No more bad shit. If you have gone through the shit of the previous parts, there are only good vibes here.

Number 1.

This bloody blog itself.

I did not have that intention but it happened. When I think what kind of blog I would love to scroll for hours in my early days as WoT fan, I could not dream that I had to do the task myself. I still remember the awe and the glee as little kid in toy store when I found out the 13th Depositary or the Theoryland Database. I can only envy my visitors who received new art, new meme, new fan content every single day for the span of years. I can only imagine it as I cannot experience it myself. Yeah, there is fun part as well but mostly I remember the work, the dedication and the motivation, the insanity of running this project. Some days I didn't want to do it but I had to because the stubborn donkey in me wouldn't let me live in peace.

I salute you anonymous WoT fans who had the time of your life around.

Number 2

Cards Against Randland

At my lowest point around 2015 I found activity that gave me the happiest memories and unexpected connection with other WoT fans. This online game helped me so much as I found people I could call friends. Well, some of them betrayed me later but still the pain cannot overwrite the joy of so many evenings having great fun. For some reason I was ridiculously good at this game. I was not being nicknamed Meta King for nothing. Some of these great memories I keep in this sideblog. The best time for me being WoT fan in the community.

Number 3

WoT-Notes

My dedication as stubborn donkey paid off in another format. It is still ridiculous (and borderline shameful) to say this blog is the only place in the fandom where a fan can read some of Robert Jordan's notes without going through expensive trip to Charleston. And also the ridiculous sight of a link for this blog to stay in one line with the greatest names and sites created by legendary fans in this awesome list of WoT content.

Number 4

Robert Jordan's casting

The most visited post and the most notable connection with the title of WoT-Tidbits is the page where I shared one reveal of Terez from her visit through Robert Jordan's notes about his own picks for actors to play WoT characters. The original post of Terez got lost as Google+ was deleted and by pure accident my shared post became the source and the only evidence on the Internet that such list exists. No one with access to the notes hasn't republished the list. I bet many "fans" would love if this list disappeared and certain one fan did not care to preserve it.

Number 5

The German Shepherd

For those who are frequently on Reddit this won't be a surprise. RJ's casting wasn't the only famous link from my blog. My attempt to gather the whole information of the infamous legend of the German Shepherd got copied very often around. I just got lucky to have that brief conversation with Kathy and she was kind enough to answer.

Number 6

The art, the memes, the content

If it wasn't for this blog I would not have this masterpiece of commission of Mat and Tuon in AMOL. It is still surreal to see an idea of mine living and breathing in this gorgeous comic. Meeppodraws delivered spectacularly and I couldn't express my gratitude.

The constant flow of memes was like healing medicine for me to go through all the controversies with smile. So I decided to keep the medicine in one place here.

I love when the fandom cooks content - I cannot choose what to highlight so it is just huge general thank you for the awesome work that you have gifted the fans.

Number 7

Art expert

And while we are on the topic of art. My devoted methodical stubborn work to search for any piece of WoT art caused a weird consequence in turning me into kinda expert on WoT artwork. I collected so many unnoticed and obscure WoT pieces that genuinely if someone asked for art of second or third tier characters, I could pull it out for almost any one as long as it exists. This blog contains the biggest collection of WoT art ever – at one point I had presented around 90%+ of the latest art pieces. Nothing could escape me. These days the percentages dropped but still this was enough to be one of the most competent people around for help. And help I did after Paul Dose - unknown guy for me who created a card game with WoT concept - who recognized that I might help him and sent me a list of characters to provide him with images for the cards. I couldn’t do everything but still I could help him with most of it. That hunting down the list in my archives was cool memory.

Another anecdote was when someone decided to call me out for not presenting a source for one WoT piece. And their evidence for source was… wait for it… Pinterest. Bloody Pinterest! I had a good laugh. As a matter of fact I have done that search by myself long before that incident and this piece is still one of the few with untraceable history. They tried the wrong guy thinking that I will chicken out not knowing the history of the piece or what is Pinterest.

Number 8

Living up to my URL

When I created my URL WoT-Tidbits 10 years ago it was inspired by the several lucky bast... fans who had the rare chance to get little tidbits here and there from the author at different events and meetings. I read all these reports from fans in the database with “little” jealousy as I could never dream to be in their place. But miracles happen when Brandon Sanderson visited Bulgaria in 2017. This is definitely the highlight of my last 10 years being WoT nerd. Not only I had the chance to see him, to listen to him, to ask him a question but also by the will of the Wheel I witnessed new unknown tidbit about my most beloved book series. And I had the blessing to report it on blog coincidentally named WoT-Tidbits. It was small and uninteresting detail but for me it meant everything. One tidbit was enough to validate the existence of my whole blog.

Number 9

Tad Kendel

I found the proof that Andorans can be dark skinned and I consider it as good shit pointing that Robert Jordan knew exactly what he was doing.

Number 10

Robert Jordan

It is not like I did not appreciate his work before. Just after reading so much slander on his masterpiece by people who call themselves fans, I truly understood his genius - on the surface of so many superficial demands for the books to be “fixed” - I acknowledged how important was his attention to "outdated" details, and how well every of his "wrong" decisions fit in the storytelling. He thought for everything, didn't he? He outsmarted people who complain in their blindness and who demand his masterpiece to bend on their artificial terms. So many so called fans try to speak on his behalf instead of listening to his voice and wisdom, to fix instead of supporting his vision. Many claim The Wheel of Time to be stuck in the regressive 20th century and that modern audience won't get it when in reality Robert Jordan is still so far ahead of the progressive 2024. We do not have to pull WoT behind us, we still has a lot of work to do if we want to catch it ahead of us.

Let the Light keep you safe.

LightOne

[uncannyviolet]

To Art Stream or Not To Art Stream, and other musings??

Lately, I don't know why I have this urge in the back of my head where I would like to look into bringing back into art streaming. It had always been to be able to do that back in 2015 lol where you can take a break from what you're working on and talk/chat with others about art, the process of making art, share tips and tricks, and/or get some feedback when you're stuck on something. I kind of miss that aspect of art making that I had when i was attending art school...making art in a bubble is...tragically, lonesome.

Kind of want to go back into it...but I'm also hesitant. Not sure what it is, but it seems like wanting to art stream is kind of like a whole new thing since VTubers became a thing? Or there's a need for you to make it like some kind of entertainment and you have to become an entertainer to keep your audience engaged and invested lol Obviously, this is kind of trivial if you just want to stream how you want to stream...So, I began looking into it...and oh boy...My laptop was like "please don't, I'm old and on my last leg...don't speed up my death...!" XDDDD I must also add, things for streaming in the last few years have progressed like CRAZY! Not to mention their price tags being an awfully hefty one. Kind of both overwhleming and discouraging. Well, I'm still tethering and on the fence about it, so I guess I won't be doing anything until I make a concrete decision. So many things to consider.

BUT! As of late, with that thought in mind, I kept thinking about making a new OC (of sorts) who will be the avatar of this (potential) art stream thing lol And...it's been kind of fun! Also found out that there's a challenge for this month called "OC-tober", kind of nice that it's...indirectly?? related lol 

So I thought, why not write a blog post about it! So...here we are, me babbling about stuff. Have fun reading my...musings...?

I sketched this environment piece and asked some questions like "What kind of person/creature would live in a place like this?" Drew a blank until the thought of flying fish or a dragon came to mind. I always liked flying fish...and had also wanted to make a flying fish OC. And off I went with my usual kick~ "Tis time to make a yokai-flying-fish OC!"

Things are always easier said then done. I had zero ideas for a couple of days lol But on a good day, while I was watching some anime and looking at flying fish photos on google...the thought of "It would be really funny if this character's face looks like a fish's face." XDDDD So that got the ball rolling at least. Maybe more things will come if I doodle their face...And one thing led to another, we arrived got a concept (albeit at like 11PM before I should be heading off to bed...). A silly fellow without a single clue, but their face is both funny and cute. I really like the little "mochi" eyebrows and that 'w' shaped mouth lol If all else fails, I can have a cat or bunny OC XDDDD Always good to have a backup plan. ("First thing I learned from Batman" - Dick Grayson lol)

After finishing this doodle and sleeping on it, I gave it some more thought...and arrived here with ANOTHER 11PM drawings lol Wonder what other things will be coming out of this from my 11PM sessions...but at the moment, This clueless fellow is starting to take up some shape. Those mochi eyebrows are so cute lol I'm going to be having fun with these fish scales XDDDDD

Not too sure where this is going to take me, but it's kind of fun just...going with the flow. I'll have to see what happens haha Now that they have some shape, comes the next major hurdle...What to name this clueless fellow?? 

Until I get that figured out, take care~! Thanks for reading and making it this far! P.S. If you have name suggestions, do let me know lol Still drawing a blank with that to name this silly little guy.