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#also imagine skateboarder James
valoale · 2 months
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Hard launching my current obsession that just started as an innocent discussion with @sarxzu (dangerous)
So now we have a figure skater Regulus and the stupid twink keeps twirling in my brain and won’t leave me alone (not complaining)
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reputayswift · 1 month
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I'm not even a Swiftie and even I knew it was a car door! 😂. I'm... so confused!
TO BE FAIR there’s nothing to “know” because it’s not specified in the song! But yes, thank you for validating me 🙂‍↕️ From first listen I’ve imagined a couple in the car with the windows down driving to the beach, experiencing salt air and rust on the door simultaneously! I think it emphasizes how transient and secretive their relationship is, she wasn’t paraded around town* or introduced to the parents, she “never needed anything more” than beach trips and meetings behind malls.
Someone else also pointed out that Tupelo** is landlocked, so for a house door to be “[James’] door,” it’d have to be a family vacation house. Which I could see. Or the “salt air and the rust on your door” is referring to separate memories.
*if she was regularly at James’ house, I think Betty would’ve heard more than “rumors” since James’ house is implied to be within walking distance of the school and Betty’s house is within skateboarding distance of James.
**Dorothea takes place in the same school and names Tupelo, Mississippi. It’s possible this isn’t supposed to be taken literally and is just a reference Elvis, a star from humble beginnings like Dorothea
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yrluvjane · 1 year
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Dad Sirius
Baby: definitely would let baby fall just for them to teach how does it feels like. Like baby would be waddling around the table and he would carefully eyeing on them, letting them fall on their bum and laugh with them or immediately go and soothe them.
I see Sirius as someone who has the kid’s back but secretly. School bullying? “Oh come here, shh, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.” and then heck those who bully his baby? Does baby know about it? No.
Also coming back to the first one: learning baby on skateboard with uncle James. They got the baby in helmet and all of those stuff. Which is pleasing the mum but I bet that Sirius and James didn’t tell her that the baby is gonna be on ramp-
Sirius dancing with baby on his tiptoes.
Sirius teaching baby how to play on his bass guitar but baby ends up nibbling on the head of it.
I agree with all of this! I just keep imagining mum being out for groceries or something, and the baby is whiny, so Sirius just sits and lets the baby suck on him. Tea parties! All the time where he would invite James and Harry, and they pretend to gossip on mum and Lily only for both babies to run and tell the two everything they said. Sirius would definitely buy his child onesie's representing the marauders' animagus forms. Mum's make-up would totally be ruined every birthday party, I'd always imagine having at least one daughter; she'd wear a princess dress and a tiara but also her dad's leather jacket sunglasses. And a son who is as much as Sirius as possible who wants to be just as cool as his dad. They probably draw maps of the house and set up scavenger hunts around the backyard. And mum taking a picture of them when they attempt to bake for a school gathering. And he'd help her draw out her 'prank' plans to make sure they're not dangerous and she doesn't get caught (like the one time they switched out the salt and sugar in the kitchen or when he helped prank her teacher by smearing glue over her desk)
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btr-rewatch · 10 months
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Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 1: “Big Time Audition” PART 3
Links to parts ONE and TWO
Highlights: Kendall infuriates Gustavo with his amazing ability to Not Care, Mrs. Knight becomes a single mother raising FIVE children, and I reminisce about 2010-era BTR fanfiction.
Right in the middle of a delightful group performance of the "Giant Turd" song, the doorbell rings, and it's Gustavo and Kelly! Sadly, he's not there for James but for Kendall.
Gustavo points out three things that Kendall has: a gift, the "fire," and anger management issues. Gustavo mentions that he also has been told he has anger management issues, which leads me to assume that it's a trait he immediately liked about Kendall. I recall enough of the show to know that Gustavo and Kendall butt heads frequently throughout the episodes and also that there was a very clear favoring of Kendall. I mean, Gustavo loves each of his dogs, but I'm not off the mark in saying that Gustavo and Kendall end up having a father-and-son sort of relationship, right?
Anyway, Kendall is super unimpressed by everything Gustavo and Kelly say, and denies that he sings, to which Katie immediately lets him know that he sings all the time. While he's shoveling, at the dinner table, in the car, when Katie can't sleep.
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When Gustavo asks if Kendall wants to go to LA and be famous, Kendall replies with a big fat, "No." This guy could not be more disinterested by this music producer basically offering him fame and fortune on a silver platter. I love Kendall. He's not enticed in the slightest. Also, I had to gif the moment where Carlos bursts out laughing and James shoots him that look.
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Poor Carlos. He's loving this! Having the time of his life! Let him laugh hysterically at the absurdity of the whole conversation that's just unfolded. Who cares if he can't read the room?
The next day, the guys are hanging out in the parking lot of Kendall's job. They're having a grand ol' time damaging cars and also causing innocent shoppers bodily harm by ramming into them with shopping carts.
Look at this poor man. Bowled over in the grocery store parking lot by four teenage menaces.
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The guys all think Kendall is an idiot and want him to call Gustavo back.
I need to sidetrack real quickly here because this scene reminded me of the original pilot that I recall being passed around on tumblr way back when—the one with that other guy in Kendall's role. I can't remember his name. They weren't hockey players yet either; they were skateboarders?? Very weird feel to it. Alternate timeline Big Time Rush that only made me appreciate even more what Kendall brought to the group. I don't think the show would have worked without him.
Skipping ahead a little bit, Kendall calls Gustavo and remains masterfully stoic as he manipulates his way into a deal in which he's allowed to bring James, Carlos, and Logan along to L.A. A very interesting tactic considering the fact that this spur of the moment—and very significant—decision leaves no room to consult the other boys' parents. I can only imagine that Kendall has such sway and control over everyone and everything that all he had to do later that afternoon was let the other parents know, "Hey, I'm taking your son to L.A. for three months so we can be famous," and they just had no choice but to say okay.
I mean, what are they gonna do, say no to Kendall Knight? I think that's illegal.
Seriously, though, these parents all just release their children into Mrs. Knight's care and let them go halfway across the country that easily? Most parents would be really not cool with that arrangement. Speaking of, I know we eventually meet the moms (and James and Carlos's dad at different points) but like. What is the deal with their families? Do any of them have siblings? Logan's dad is never mentioned I don't think; can we assume his isn't in the picture either? Does anyone who used to read the fanfics back in 2010-ish remember the prevalent trend of giving Logan a horrible home life?? It must've been prior to Big Time Moms, because I definitely remember a lot of fics where Logan's mom was dead, and he was being raised by a father who was negligent at best and abusive at worst. People put Logan through the RINGER back in the day. He was always being tormented or given brain damage or was dying of some terrible illness or something.
Okay. Focus. The guys go to L.A. and have an adorable montage in the limo.
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I'm particularly fond of the Kendall and James high five/fist bump moment.
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Then, finally, we're at the Palm Woods! The guys waste no time in getting to the pool, where they meet some of the Palm Woods locals and Kendall delivers his third (?) motivational speech of the episode. This kid must be exhausted having to churn out these talks and keep his buddies in line.
I wonder how many pep-talks Kendall gives over the course of the entire series. A billion, probably.
First instance of James doing "the face"!
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Griffin (love that guy! He's an absolutely bonkers, ridiculous man) drops the news to Gustavo that he has just THREE DAYS to turn the guys into a band. Upon arriving for the first time at Rocque Records, a stressed Gustavo meets them in the hallway. Shout out to the moment where he rips Carlos's helmet off his head, and Carlos reacts as if his very life force has been taken from him.
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Also shout out to our other glimpse of Original Kendall, as he tells Gustavo to "bring it" while standing mere inches away from his face and staring him down with this completely cool, collected, and intimidating expression.
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Yeah, it's broken a second later with a funny line, but come on. This is another one of those looks at this first episode version of Kendall that I so wish we could have had more of in the series. He's not afraid of ANYTHING. This is a Kendall that makes you wonder, "What is this guy's deal??" He'll take Gustavo into a back alley and fistfight him if he feels it's necessary. Don't mess with the tall kid with the eyebrows, or you'll never be heard from again.
The guys go through a grueling round of boyband boot camp, which goes about as well as you can expect. And I'll go ahead and wrap this thing up for now. Only fifteen minutes left in the episode, so I should be able to finally finish this in the next post! Thanks again to those who are keeping up with these :)
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jegulusofwesper · 2 years
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so i’ve casted the marauders as jatp characters, now i just need your input <3
julie - regulus
luke - james
alex - remus
reggie - sirius
bobby - peter
caleb - snape
willie - lily
nick - barty
carrie - evan
i started replying to this when i first messaged you so apparently i have thoughts 👀
REG WOULD PERFORM TF PUT OF WAKE UP and there would be unsaid emily level of tears also the irony of james seeing the floating chairs and being like 😳witch😳
luke and james are the embodiment of each other OMG. i love i love i love !!
can you imagine the girls am i right but with them. it’s be like james serenades sirius and 💅panic💅 and is like 😳ahaha girls am i right😳 and james is like 🤭yea🤭 then remus very blatantly looks him up and down and is like ☺️no❤️☺️. but also i can 100% see remus go on a date to scream in a museum he’d 100% go back afterwards when they’re having difficulties and having his hsm3 troy bolton moment
i’m just thinking of the i i i i i want a puppy before this band is back then him sulking. however flip it to reg, evan and barty for the c’mon reginald and ahhhhh but imagine the whole reg and carlos thing where he becomes a big brother but imagine he does it because he never got to say bye to his little brother and he wants that part of him to feel whole 🥺
where do you stand on the whole bobby thing? like do you think he was entering his villain era or do you think the label saw a grieving kid and took advantage? but as for pete i can just imagine him being haunted by the ghosts of his past and then bolting to go see a therapist. would pete change his name/what to?
caleb could pull off snape’s outfit but could snape pull off caleb’s? also are we talking like grown snape or do you have a certain fc i should be picturing? OMG IMAGINE LILY PUTTING PURPLE BUTTERFLY CLIPS IN HIS HAIR TO MATCH HIS OUTFIT LIKE THE BOI IS ALL GRUMPY LOOKING BUT HES GIT THESE CUTE ASS PURPLE BUTTERFLY CLIPS IN
we’re keeping the skateboarding right? because lily skateboarding isn’t something i knew i needed in my life but she’d be so badass!! i would’ve never thought about lily being willie but it’s clear now..i see the vision
i can see barty as nick but he’s have to be sooo much more sarcastic. THAT MEANS THAT THE ITS NICK SCENE WOULD HAPPEN BETWEEN REG AND BARTY AND OH I DONT THINK I WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE HIS FACE also does nick canonically have a last name or is the fandom still going by danforth-evans?
evan as carrie omg!! he would perform the fuck out of all eyes on me. james bouncing in for the ✨ding✨ as well omg!!
wait wait wait pandora as my main girl flynn?
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charmsandtealeaves · 2 years
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Ministry of Magic Monthlies | October 2022: Fall and Spooky
Prompt: [Dialogue] “Let’s get you to bed.”
Read it on AO3
Summary: Just a little Sirius raising Harry at Halloween fluff. 
Words: 668
Happy Halloween
Halloween was always a time of mixed emotions for Sirius. It marked the anniversary of his best friend’s murders, but it was also a time where he got to watch little Harry be filled with so much joy dressing up and doing trick or treating with the other muggle children. Finding the right balance between grief, remembrance and fun was a thin line. As Harry grew older he started to ask more about his parents, it was difficult to find age appropriate answers for a four year old. 
Each year on October 31st Sirius would help Harry guide his wand to light a set of candles on the mantelpiece next to the framed photograph of Lily and James on their wedding day.  He would share a story about his parents from their days at Hogwarts and then he’d help Harry put on his costume. Harry’s most recent obsession was Scooby Doo, a muggle children’s cartoon he would watch at Uncle Moony’s house. 
“I want to be Velma.” Harry had said very seriously leading up to Halloween. “She wears glasses just like me. Just like my dad!” 
Sirius could just imagine what an outburst like this would have earnt Harry from the Dursleys. They would have been horrified that their nephew wanted to dress in ‘girl’s clothes’. Not that they would ever have taken Harry trick or treating in the first place. Sirius had almost teared up at Harry wanting to be ‘just like his dad’. James would have made a big thing of it, him and Lily dressing as Fred and Daphne, Harry as Velma, Remus as Shaggy and Sirius as Padfoot playing Scooby. 
“Who should I be Haz?” was Sirius’ only question. 
The little lad paused very briefly, brows furrowed in concentration before answering. “I think you should be the mystery machine.” Not exactly where Sirius had seen that going , but okay. So he’d spent the better part of a week creating his mystery machine costume out of painted cardboard and an old skateboard. That way if Harry’s legs got tired they could skate along. 
They made Uncle Moony’s the last trick or treat stop of the night. So they could show off their costumes and rest before returning home. Harry ran up the stone pathway on weary little legs and rapped hard on Remus’ door. It swung wide almost immediately, revealing Remus dressed in a pair of tan pants and a green shirt. 
“You’re Shaggy!” Harry beamed. 
“And you’re Velma.” Remus laughed offering Harry the bowl of candy he’d been holding. “I like your skirt.”
“Thanks! Padfoot found it in a charity shop!” Harry scurried his way into the house and plopped himself down on Remus’ sofa so he could sort through all the sweets. 
“He looks happy.” Remus smiled meekly to Sirius. The weight of the day was on him too. 
“I tried.” answered Sirius. 
“You’re doing a good job. I don’t tell you that often enough.” Remus waved Sirius in and offered him a cup of tea. 
They drank together and watched Harry organise his treats into small piles. Before long the little lad’s head was bobbing and he was rubbing at eyes taht were starting to refuse to stay open. 
“Let’s get you to bed” Sirius cooed to his godson. They could both use the sleep. 
“I don’t wanna!” Harry grumbled. 
“What about if you and Padfoot stay for a sleepover? Then we can all wake up in the morning and watch Scooby Doo together?” Remus bargained. 
“Can we Padfoot?! Please? Please? Please?!” Harry begged. 
“Only if you go put your jammies on and get into bed. I’ll come read you a story in a minute.” said Sirius. Harry didn’t need telling twice, racing to the spare bedroom that Remus always had set up for him. Sirius turned his relieved attention to Remus, he honestly didn’t know if he had the strength to gently parent his way through a tantrum this evening. “Thanks.”
“I figure neither of us wants to be alone tonight.”
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westerlyroleplay · 2 years
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JAMES BRECKENRIDGE is looking for her EX-GIRLFRIEND. This connection is currently CLOSED. If you’re interest in applying, message Melanie HERE. More information under the cut.
CHARACTER NAME:
Betty (last name UTP)
CHARACTER AGE:
39-42
SUGGESTED FACECLAIMS:
Kate Hudson, Blake Lively, Rachel McAdams, Meghan Markle, Bethany Joy Lenz, Gugu Mbatha Raw, Gemma Arterton, Deborah Ann Woll, Jessica Chastain, Gemma Chan, Mandy Moore, Jessica Alba, Sienna Miller, Rachael Taylor, Kristin Kruek, Miranda Rae Mayo.
SUGGESTED TRACKS:
Cardigan, It’s Time To Go, My Tears Ricochet, Happiness
CHARACTER’S STORY:
Betty and James were each other’s first love. They were teenage sweethearts, attached at the hip. James made the first move, always riding her skateboard past Betty’s house growing up.
Like most teenage loves, they had a few breakups here and there, and they all felt like the end of the world, soul-crushing and all consuming. The two of them always ended up working things out regardless of this, even going as far as to get matching tattoos for each other once they turned eighteen. James has “Saturn” written on her shoulder blade and Betty has “Moon” written on her, as the two always said they loved each other “to the moon and to Saturn.”
Their relationship continued into their adulthood, the both of them madly in love. Until they weren’t. There were fights, uncertainty, and the natural progression of growing apart as the future neared. The breakup devastated them both but they were young and unhappy, so breaking up was their only option.
I like to imagine they’re still friends even now but still have unresolved feelings after all these years. I also imagine the breakup mostly came from James, as she hit a point in her life where she had no idea what she was doing with her life before ending up working for her family. So, maybe Betty feels heartbroken by that and maybe she had resentment towards James too. Who knows! I would love to plot out some details too, if you’d like. Anything goes!
#wc
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petty-crush · 2 months
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“The Unborn” 1991
-a wonderful entry in the “maybe having a baby wasn’t such a good idea” subgenre
-amusingly this is also director Rodman Flender’s first film, so he gets to channel that feeling of nervous excitement and perplexing dread that comes with your first picture
-also having their first shot is cinematographer Wally Pfister, of later “dark knight” trilogy and “inception” fame. He has the goods already, bathing the film in eeriness
-I admit I had to recalculate my brain numerous times during the first ten minutes, reminding myself that Brooke Adams starring and not Karen Allen. Their similarities are surprising
-it occurs to me now how dramatically smart it is to have a pregnant person when featuring a lead often alone by themselves
+it certainly resonates more than with a drunk overcoming addiction. Possibly because the transformation is so visual
-actor James Karen is so good as the doctor who appears pleasant at all times, but is clearly a sinister riptide waiting to erupt
-a big laugh as a woman is seriously skeptical about this lamaze class (the two ladies are not accredited or trained) and when told by the lesbian couple to embrace her femininity, she curtly replies “suck my dick”
-Gary Numan’s score is a supreme addition to the picture. It has a sneaking sense of doom that climbs up our ears
-how uncomfortable in universe must it be to have sex in a wooden rocking chai? Hormones are great
-truthfully I can’t imagine giving up smoking or eating soft cheeses for anyone
-when Allen’s character Virginia is talking about her children’s book of dealing with fear/death/the void, and is suggested to not emphasize that in the interview, I like her response of “but she triumphs over that! She realizes her life is ok”
-later in the actual tv interview, the sheer fake upbeat banality of the host is delightful
-I know others feel different, but put me down in the “crazy” cat lady > exhausted mother scorecard (or better yet a dog)
-Allen is quite good at projecting the fear that her bloodline is defective, and how she worries that she is making something that carries on her worst attributes
-there is nice segment on depression and moving forward as well
-not really explored but nicely hinted at is the divide between wanting a “perfect” child (really, pride for parents) and a child that has physical/learning disadvantages
+ I can imagine a different story about the super solder children fighting the “imperfects”
-this film does not skimp on the gore. The women impaling her own baby bump with a knife is grisly
-more horrifying is the moment where the pregnant lesbian beats her partner to death, and utters the line “you and the baby…I don’t have the love or room for you both”
-I wonder if the part with the cat getting strangled was originally in her sleep or that was added to soften the blow
+her horror when she wakes up is quite effective. As is the raw desperation when she looks for the toy to vainly revive it
-easily one of my favorite moments was when the dad seems the baby and goes “oh my god, it’s hideous!” Then gets stabbed in the eye by the needle
-actor Jeff Hayenga don’t have much to to, but he supplies warmth quite well. His frosty relationship with his mother in law is very satisfying
-the most whacked out moment is when Virginia hears the baby cry (after the abortion), wanders out to the back alley dumpster, and encounters a black little person belly skateboarding
-I love sections like that
-great production design in the lab with the glowing red babies in spheres
+even better when they explode and get mutant baby guts all over the shot doctor
-my only regret is that she should have reality strangled that baby in the sunset scene, but it works well and yeah this era is notorious for sequel teaser stingers
-I had a chuckle when Virginia pulls out a gun. Rare to see a film that is so loved by planned parenthood and the nra
-the great thing about horror is that the heightened situations really bring out the most vivid emotions, and the feelings around birth are really really easy to go delightfully over the top with.
It’s a winning combination.
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so-true-overdue · 10 months
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The Mind-Blowing Revelation: Uncovering the Astonishing Secret Life of Mr. Ordinary
Hey there, fellow truth-seekers! Brace yourselves for the most mind-bending, jaw-dropping revelation you've ever encountered. Prepare to have your perception of reality shattered like a flimsy wine glass on prom night. In a world full of monotony and mediocrity, I've stumbled upon an earth-shattering secret that will blow your collective minds. Prepare to learn the shocking truth about Mr. Ordinary, a man who defies all sense of reason and logic. You might be wondering, who is this Mr. Ordinary and what makes him so special? Well, my fellow cynics, he's just your average Tom, Dick, or Harry. He blends into the background like a chameleon, his existence as forgettable as last week's TikTok challenge. But don't be fooled by his outward appearance of normalcy, for beneath that mundane facade lies a world of unimaginable excitement! Brace yourselves for the revelation that will make your jaded hearts skip a beat. Believe it or not, Mr. Ordinary possesses a secret identity as an international spy, fighting evil forces that threaten our very existence. I know, I know, it sounds like the plot of a clichéd action movie starring some generic Hollywood heartthrob. But my friends, this is not fiction; this is the unbelievable truth I've uncovered. Imagine our unsuspecting hero, donning a tailored suit by day and vanquishing villains by night. While we struggle to survive rush hour traffic, he fearlessly battles nefarious masterminds bent on world domination. Move over, James Bond; Mr. Ordinary is here to show you how it's done, without even mussing his perfectly combed hair. But wait, there's more! Not only is Mr. Ordinary a secret agent extraordinaire, but he also possesses genius-level intellect and a flair for extreme sports. He can solve complex mathematical equations in his sleep while effortlessly executing a perfect ollie on his skateboard. Is there anything this man can't do? Now, I know what you're thinking, dear reader. How on earth is it possible that a man of such extraordinary talents remains hidden in plain sight? Well, it seems that Mr. Ordinary has mastered the art of camouflage, blending seamlessly into the mundane fabric of everyday life. It's as if he has a secret invisibility cloak, rendering him undetectable to the naked eye. So, my fellow skeptics, the next time you find yourself questioning the extraordinary hidden beneath the ordinary, think of Mr. Ordinary. Remember that appearances can be deceiving; heroes can be disguised as your average Joe, blending in, and saving the world one covert operation at a time. But shh... don't tell anyone. It's our little secret.
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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years
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Plank All Over Me - Spill Your Guts Or Fill Your Guts Edition
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Masterlist
Plank All Over Me Masterlist
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“Welcome back to Spill Your Guts Or Fill Your Guts.” James Cordan said to the camera. “I’m here with Tom and Y/n Holland.”
“Oh my God.” Tom looked at you with wide eyes as you both thought the same thing.
“He introduced us.” You realized. “We can’t do our bit.”
“You’re my wife now, darling. You get to do anything you want.” Tom stated at he looked at James. “James, we’re actually Dave and James Franco.”
“Who’s who?” James humored you, well aware of the way you and Tom acted in interviews.
“I’m clearly the James.” You mumbled as you smoothed your dress.
“Dave is more attractive.” Tom shrugged sassily and you made a face at him.
“Can we start the game?” James playfully interrupted and you and Tom sat up straight.
“Yes, sorry.” You nodded as James began to explain the rules of the game. You’d seen the bit enough times to know how to play, so you tuned James out a little. You didn’t mean to, you just had a lot on your mind lately. There was something you needed to tell Tom and you hadn’t found the right way to do it yet.
“The first question is for Y/n and since I love her so much I’m going to give her the hot sauce.” James smiled wickedly as he got the hot sauce in front of you.
“Mmm.” You said sarcastically and grimaced at the camera.
“Who got the drunkest at your wedding?” James read off the card before looking at you. You pursed your lips as you thought about the answer before chuckling.
“Probably Tom.” You laughed as you pointed at your husband who was sat across the table from you. His face lit up with laughter as he folded his arms.
“Yeah, I was gonna say. Ryan Reynolds and I had a drinking competition that I definitely won.” He said smugly, making the audience cheer.
“I never imagined I’d be standing by Blake Lively’s side on my wedding day, screaming “CHUG” at my husband, but I’m glad it happened. You made me proud.” You said to Tom with a fond pout on your face.
“Aw.” Tom held his hand over his heart as you stared at each other lovingly.
“Gross.” James deadpanned, making the two of you laugh.
“Next question is for Tom and I am going to give you the cockroaches.” You said as you spun the table. “Love you, honey.”
“It’s looking at me.” Tom gagged as he picked up a cockroach and quickly dropped it back in the little glass bowl.
“How dare that slutty, dead cockroach stare at you.” You joked. “Tell it you’re married.”
“I swear, you two are the strangest couple I had ever sat with.” James shook his head as he laughed.
“We get that a lot.” You and Tom said in unison.
“Okay, Tom, who is the most unprofessional Avenger on set?” You read off your card before setting it back on the table.
“Ooo. That’s a tough one since they’re all so badly behaved.” Tom clicked his tongue and the audience laughed gleefully.
“No, I’m joking.” He smiled at the reaction. “I’m gonna go with Evans because he’s pretty much a ten year old. Like, he carries around one of those tiny skateboards - what are they called?”
“Tech Decks.” You told him.
“Yeah. He carried around a Tech Deck and runs it over everyone’s arms when we’re blocking scenes.” Tom explained as he did the motion of the mini skateboard on the table.
“I have also seen him covered in Cheeto dust countless times.” You added. “He will straight up come to set with orange fingers. He is the opposite of Captain America.”
“I hate that. We call them Wotsitz in England and it makes me cringe.” Tom shuddered as he moved the table. “James, I’m gonna give you the bird saliva.”
“It looks warm.” James commented as he picked it up to examine it. “That’s so unsettling.”
“Ick.” Tom grimaced and picked up a card. “James, which guest would you not invite back to the show?”
The audience reacted accordingly and you raised your eyebrows at the host.
“I can’t answer that.” James held his hand over his mouth as he stared at the bird saliva in front of him.
“Then why do you get asked that in every installment of Spill Your Guts Or Fill Your Guts?” You asked bluntly, making the audience laugh.
“That’s an excellent question and I’m going to think about it while I drink this bird saliva.” James looked you right in the eyes as he took a sip from the small glass. You cringed when he swallowed it and immediately went to take a sip of water.
“Ew. Is it thick?” You wondered as he coughed into his elbow.
“You don’t want to know.” James said hoarsely, shaking his head.
“Do I go now?” Tom asked, already forgetting the order of turns.
“Yes, you pick for Y/n.” James told him as he wiped his mouth.
“Okay.” Tom smiled deviantly and spun the table. “I’m gonna give you the turkey testicles because I know how much you love-“
“Tom.” You cut him off with a stern look.
“Turkey burgers.” He finished his sentence. “She loves turkey burgers.”
You squinted your eyes at him as he laughed devilishly.
“I’m about to walk out.” You threatened him once your fate was put in front of you.
“It’s not a true interview with us unless one of us threatens to leave.” Tom noted as he picked up his card. “Who do you think is the smallest Avenger?”
“Oh, definitely Mackie.” You answered confidently, relieved you didn’t have to eat the “food” in front of you.
“But he’s taller than me.” Tom tilted his head in confusion and your eyes widened.
“Oh you meant height?” You asked, fully misunderstanding the original question. The audience erupted into laughter and you felt your cheeks heat up with embarrassment.
“WHAT?” James asked as he wiped tears from his eyes.
“I thought you were asking about something else.” You said sheepishly as you shrunk in your seat.
“This is CBS.” He reminded you and you have an apologetic grin.
“Next question.” You requested, wanted to move on from your lapse in judgment.
“This ones for Tom and I’m giving you the salmon smoothie.” James decided. “Tom, how much did you get paid for Spiderman: Far From Home?”
“Enough to put a 20 karat ring on Y/n’s finger.” Tom response was immediate and you lit up in delight. You held your hand up to your ear so the camera could see it.
“With matching earrings.” You said coyly before letting out a laugh, all while Tom watched you with a childlike grin.
“My turn. I’m gonna give you the tarantula. James.” You decided and picked up a card. “Who was your least favorite guest on Carpool Karaoke?”
You held the card to your chest as you looked at him expectantly, knowing he’d never answer it.
“I can’t answer that.” He shook his head. “I have an answer but I can’t say it.”
“When you met Lin Manuel Miranda, did he bite his lip?” The words left your mouth before you could stop them. Tom burst out laughing at you, knowing exactly what you were talking about.
“Oh my God. She’s obsessed with that one picture of the guy.” Tom explained.
“It’s so funny. EUHYYYHY WE WERE MARRIED THAT NIGHT.” You imitated the countless singing videos of Lin Manuel Miranda you’d seen on Tik Tok that left you in tears of laughter every night.
“I hear this everyday.” Tom told James as you laughed at yourself.
“I can’t. I can’t. Sorry Lin.” You giggled again before calming down.
“Lin was perfectly lovely and we would love to have him back.” James brought the conversation back to the question. “I have an answer but I just can’t say who it was.”
“Then you better put that spider in your mouth.” Tom nodded towards the spider.
“It’s easy. I do it all the time. Wink wink.” You gave the camera an over exaggerated wink.
“Oh My God. Every time.” Tom scolded you as you made yet another innuendo.
“It smells horrible.” James whined as he leaned down to sniff the tarantula.
“Well it’s a dead bug. Were you expecting Japanese Cherry Blossom?” You sassed him.
“Oh God. Here we go.” James plugged his nose and took a tiny bite of the spiders leg.
“How is it?” Tom wondered as he watched in disgust. “Is it crunchy?”
“It’s gooey.” James told him before wiping his face with his napkin.
“I could’ve told you that.” You shrugged, causing Tom to give you a stern look that told you to behave.
“Stop it.” He couldn’t contain his laughter. “Who’s turn is it?”
“It’s my turn to ask Y/n.” James said as he looked around the table for what hadn’t been used yet.
“Fire away.” You said casually despite the butterflies in your tummy over what he could possible ask you.
“Okay Y/n, I’m gonna give you the grasshoppers.” You bit your tongue between your teeth as James moved the table towards you.
“Delicious.” You grimaced as you poked around in the bowl of grasshoppers.
“Y/n, if you had to date one of Tom’s brothers to save his life, which would you pick?” James read off the card and the audience murmured with anticipation.
“How would I get into that situation?” You stalled your answer, knowing you’d have to pick between hurting Toms feelings or eating a bug.
“And how do I prevent her from getting into that situation?” Tom added, making you laugh. He was trying to keep his cool but you knew the question bothered him.
“You have to answer the question or get to eating. Come on now, before they hop away.” James joked, making the audience laugh. You stared into the bowl of grasshoppers and knew there was no way you could put it on your mouth without throwing up. You gulped and looked at your husband, giving him an apologetic pout before looking at James.
“I guess Sam.” You said weakly and quickly moved the grasshoppers away from you.
“Why Sam?” James asked, always trying to get the best response he could.
“That’s not the question.” You quipped as you taped the card with your fingernail.
“I want to know too.” Tom spoke up, making your stomach drop. You shrugged and folded your arms to look relaxed.
“He was the first one that came to mind and I don’t think you’d want me to sit here and go over the pro’s and con’s of dating all your brothers. Plus, he’s a great chef.” You answered, and to your surprise, Tom smiled.
“That’s true.” He nodded. “Good job, baby.”
“Thank you.” You blew him a playful kiss which he caught and then pretended to throw away to get a laugh. You shot him a look before returning your attention to the table.
“Stop it.” You warned. “Who’s turn is it?”
“It’s your turn, Mrs. Holland.” Tom said, always taking the opportunity to call you that.
“Okay. I’m gonna give you the bulls penis.” You said lovingly as you moved the table.
“You’re too kind, my love.” He teased as it landed in front of him.
“I know. It’s my gift since you always give me the-“
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Tom cut you off. “I don’t even want to know how it ends.”
“Fine. I won’t.” You gave the audience a pointed look and they laughed at your antics. You picked up your card and read the question, immediately laughing at what it asked. You were about to read the question when an idea popped into your head. Tom noticed the way your expression changed and sensed something was up.
“Oh no. I’m scared already.” He smiled nervously as you looked at the card again. Finally, you looked Tom in the eye and gave him a soft smile.
“Are you excited to be a father?” You asked the question that had been weighing on your mind ever since you took a pregnancy test in an airport bathroom two days ago. You wanted to break the news in a memorable way, and constantly being on planes or in cars made that difficult.
This show, however, made it easy.
Toms face melted from a playful smile to wide eyes at your question. The audience quieted down as everyone waited for Tom’s response.
“What?” He asked slowly, studying your face closely to see if you were joking.
“That’s what it says.” You put it simply, makes Toms face shift into a smile. James took the card fork where you had set it down, knowing damn well his writers hadn’t put that as a question, and read it.
“This card says “how big is it?”” James read off the card as he looked at you, making you chuckle slightly.
“I took a creative liberty.” You shrugged. Tom and James looked at each other, both thinking the other was up to something.
“Are you pregnant?” Tom leaned closer to you from across the table to ask.
“You don’t get to ask a question until you’ve chosen what food I have to eat.” You reminded him as you gestured to the table.
“Not to make this about me, but It’s also not your turn.” James threw in a joke as he watched the drama unfold.
“Cow tongue.” Tom said quickly and shifted the table so the cow tongue was in front of you. He looked up at you with all the hope in the world as you gagged at the tongue. “There. Are you really pregnant?”
“Oof.” You blew out a breath. “That’s a toughy.”
“That’s a toughy?” Tom asked in exasperation. You could see his leg bouncing under the table from anticipation but you wanted to drag it out just a little longer.
“Yeah. I mean, I really want to tell you, but this cow tongue also looks really good.” You teased him, making him let out a whine.
“She’s got a point, there.” James nodded, squeezing your hand under the table to congratulate you.
“No she doesn’t!” Tom exclaimed. “Baby? Are you actually pregnant?”
You knew Tom couldn’t take the suspense anymore and broke into a grin.
“Yes.” You told him. “I’m pregnant. We’re pregnant.”
“Really? We’re gonna have a baby?” Toms eyes welled with tears as he covered his mouth with both his hands. He’d been wanting to start a family for a while now but you hadn’t had any luck in conceiving.
Until now.
“Yeah, honey. We’re gonna have a baby.” You reached across the table and rubbed his hand with your thumb before pointing finger guns at the camera. “Keep watching to find out who the father is!”
The audience, who had been busy cheering at your news, switched to laughter.
“She’s kidding. It’s me.” Tom assured the audience.
“He’s kidding.” You insisted. “It’s Benedict!”
“Congratulations to the both of you.” James said sincerely. “I think that just about wraps this up this segment. My producer is going to be very happy with me for getting that information out of you without even asking.”
“You’re welcome.” You smiled at him as he leaned in to press a congratulatory kiss on your cheek. Tom finally broke out of his shocked state and got out of his chair, rushing to you and practically pulling you out of your seat to hug you. His hug was firm but gentle all at the same time, especially around your tummy. He pressed your face into his neck and you heard him sniffle, making you take his hand and put it on your tummy.
“We have about three minutes of commercial break. Excellent job guys.” James said as he got out of his seat. “That was definitely the best Spill Your Guts we’ve ever done. I might have to hire Y/n as a writer here.” He joked.
“Thanks for having us James. All three of us.” You said as you pulled away from Tom. Tom kept a protective hand on your tummy as you rubbed circles on his back.
“I can’t believe you’re pregnant. I’m so happy for you both. That’s beautiful.” James shook Toms hand to congratulate him as well.
“Well when you plank all over someone and don’t use a-
“That’s enough.” Tom cut you off but kept his smile on. “That’s enough for today.”
You leaned into him and took his hand, kissing the back of it as you all walked back towards the main stage.
“Can you believe we met planking on each other for a video and now we’re having a baby?” You asked him.
“I know.” He shook his head in pleasant shock. “We should name our baby BBC, since we met at BBC radio 1.
“You suggesting that tells me you don’t know the other meaning of BBC.” You laughed as you took a seat on James’s couch.
“What’s the other meaning?” Tom looked at you in confusion. You laughed gleefully and patted Toms cheek, always delighted by his innocence.
“Oh, Tom.” You sighed. “I’ll let you google that one.”
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princessofgayskull · 3 years
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Hi sunflower, what's your thoughts on T Swift's Betty being a catradora song???
Me, taking a break from spop to focus on my mental health and setting better boundaries:
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Me, reading this ask:
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This ask woke me up from like a deep, sleeping beauty type slumber, not joking. I don’t get asked to talk about Taylor Swift often, despite being a fan of hers since I was nine years old (I’m 22 now *wink*) and we are about to find out why. But I pride myself on taking any fiction piece of media I interact with and connecting it somehow to Taylor Swift. I can do so to varying degrees of success (usually depends on the ships and romance of the world) but there are so many songs of Taylor’s that have just fit Catradora so well for me, both in and out of canon. 
Some of my favorite examples: out of the woods (AND IT KEPT ME UP AT NIGHT WHEN NOELLE SAID THIS WAS HER TAYLOR SWIFT SONG FOR CATRADORA LIKE GAH CASUAL TS LISTENERS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND) bad blood, lwymd, don’t blame, dancing with our hands tied, the archer, breathe, you’re not sorry, the way I loved you, forever & always, should’ve said no, safe & sound- I could go on.
But I won’t because I wanna stay on topic and talk about betty. Now I have a number of songs from the folklore/evermore series that are for me catradora songs (we’ll get to that in a minute) but this one is… challenging. Because I could be like “yes, because [insert casual reason here]” or “no, because [insert casual reason here]” but I can’t because Taylor feeds her children well and there’s several aspects of this song I feel like should be considered.
This biggest one to be considered, for me, is the love triangle aspect. Folklore features at length the betty/james/Augustine love triangle, each of them having one main song on the album from their POV. Betty's is cardigan, augustine’s is august, and james’ is betty. (also I’m going to throw out the gender component for a second; I know taylor says that Betty is about a guy’s apology and I totally vibe with her reasons why she wanted to write a song about a boy apologizing BECAUSE HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE?) The love triangle makes the application of Catradora iffy at best. Because it’s like, who would be who? I am going to go out on a limb and assume that you’re seeing Catra as James? I think that personality wise, Adora as Betty and Catra as James is not a stone’s throw away from fitting actually really well. Adora’s canon journey is one of coming to realize “I know what I want and I know that it’s okay to want it” and a big part of Catra’s arc is her being like “Well shit… there goes my plans. Kind of feeling like a dumbass rn” especially in s4/s5. 
(That s4/s5 distinction is important; I’ll show why in a second) 
But for me, there’s no augustine. Or one that’s obvious anyway. I never imagined that either Catra or Adora dated or even had any inclinations with anyone else during the five season run- that’s just my personal opinion, people are completely welcome to feel free to disagree. I don’t think Catra acted even out of distraction with Scorpia or DT, and I think Adora was so focused on being She Ra that when she wasn’t thinking about failing/abandoning Catra when she alloted time to do so, she was thinking about the crushing weight of her responsibilities. So you know, not that much time to get back out there. So I rule out what causes James to apologize in the first place- cheating.
Side note about James cheating- I’m pretty sure Taylor confirmed this, in the long pond studio sessions doc, when she’s telling Jack Antonoff (MY BOY JACK) and Aaron Dessner ( GRAMMY AWARD WINNING KING) that James “was a fool!” And James did sleep with Augustine as confirmed in august, but cardigan makes it seem like he was definitely dating Betty before the summer. Maybe Taylor took inspiration from friends and they “were on break.” I also believe that the kiss in the Heart is the first kiss, that Catra and Adora were never ‘together’ together before Adora found the sword and defected (again, that’s just an opinion, but Adora just looks so wonderfully gobsmacked), so…
We can rule out cheating, and I think we can accomplish this and still reserve the essential meaning of the song of “I did something wrong, I see that now, I apologize for doing it, and I still love you” by widening the lens of what the “did something wrong” was (or “did something bad” you know *wink*). In that wider lens really you could fit either Catra or Adora into the song, but I’m still going to assume Catra is the James in this scenario based on how much of her redemption arc is formed around her refusal to say sorry and then eventually doing so. Of course there is no standing your porchlight but rather standing while wrestling a bunch of murderous clones…. Hmm….
But there are some stupid friends! I wholeheartedly believe Catra is James because of the dissing of Betty’s friends. That’s what Catra does to Bow, Glimmer and the rebellion et al., for most of the show and by the end of s4 she has no friends for Adora to even mock (terrible and cruel of me, I know, but it’s true). Also I know people are like “he called her friends stupid and then expected betty to take him back?” but I scream sing the line “WILL YOU KISS ME ON THE PORCH IN FRONT OF ALL YOUR STUPID FRIENDS?” every time. It brings me serotonin. 
Along those lines we can ask “Who’s Inez?” in this situation. When I think gossip no one from the show really comes to mind, well, expect for Double Trouble. But Double Trouble doesn’t ever speak to Adora about Catra. This happens vice-versa, and in Betty, James reveals that Inez told Betty he cheated on her. 
I want to say something controversial… Glimmer comes to mind when I think “who’s the Inez?” And this is based off of two things: 1) Inez’s closeness to Betty, and 2) Inez drags James out to dry, rightfully so. And when I think of that I think of Glimmer screaming “Do one good thing in your life!” directly in Catra’s face. James gives Inez a bad wrap in Betty. Not cool James. 
Of course there’s the pivotal, “would you tell me to go fuck myself?/ or lead me to the garden?” To me this a fun way of showing there’s vulnerability to what James is doing, so automatically I’m led to is the scene where Catra asks Adora to stay, or each time in s5 when Catra risks, basically an identity crisis to let Adora in how she really feels, but there’s always the potential that Adora could spurn her by not returning her feelings or rejecting her outright. 
I think the best argument that can be made for “is betty a catradora song” can really be encapsulated by the lyric(s): “the worst thing that I ever did is what I did to you” and “the only thing I wanna do is make it up to you.” That is what about the song SCREAMS Catra to me. And yeah, it could be argued that Adora hurt Catra pretty brutally (Shadow Weaver makes that point EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO) that she messed up by abandoning Catra- but Adora feels guilt for... literally breathing. Adora is the quintessential embodiment of “pick your battles, no that’s too many battles, put some back,” but Catra picked one battle first and foremost (yes, she had a few others but this was the one) and that was Adora. Everything that motivated her was surrounded around a narrative of surpassing Adora for a multitude of reasons, and because of that she pretty much hurts Adora every chance she gets after Promise. Adora is really Catra’s first casualty, it makes sense that she has to be her first apology. And I think that after being vibed checked back to back by DT and Glimmer and realizing “oh hey fuck, I’m still in love with her” and then almost dying just to not die because Adora saves her, I think much of Catra’s motivation shifts to “how to do I get Adora to want to stay?” 
That’s my logic for how Betty could be a catradora song in canon. Now not all of my Taylor associations are with canon catradora, many of them do belong to uws catradora, because it’s a lot easier to apply the more modern details of Taylor’s songs to a modern au. The song Breathe is big that way. (it’s in Upper West Side, it’s the song Adora listens to and cries to after that first ride, I just never mentioned that it was taylor because my conditioned reaction to bringing up taylor is to have my head bit off with someone’s semi incorrect and slightly sexist opinion that I never, ever ask for) And this ask got me thinking about what it would look like if I applied not Catradora to Betty, but Betty to Catradora. What would it look like if Catra skateboarded and wore black lipstick, Adora wore a cardigan and they had homeroom together until Catra really messed up? What would it look like if they were seventeen when they admitted their feelings for each other instead of 21? What would it look like if they spent a summer fighting but dreaming of each other? What would their love story look like if Catra and Adora were in that town where Taylor envisioned this “same event that affected three people in different ways?”
I think it’d look something like this. 
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31141973/chapters/76952048
what do you guys think?
quick but INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT thank you to @gimme-tea-bitch for helping me with this, being my beta, and listening to me talk about folklore/evermore.
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alloftheimaginess · 4 years
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Soulmates
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Soulmate imagine where your soulmate can hear the music you’re listening to and if you sing along they can hear you.
Also Mj’s birthday is changed but my birthday is tomorrow so I wanted to have hers close.
Warnings: a few swear words but that’s it
"You're always humming that song" I say to Mj as we're sat at the skate park after school.
"It's my soulmate. They are literally always singing and listening to it" she says stopping her humming.
"Or the song is simply stuck in your head, soulmates are a bunch of bull" I say kicking my skateboard back and forth.
"They aren't, you just don't have your soulmate yet, you're only 16" she says and I laugh standing up and I get on my skateboard.
"This soulmate shit is complete bullshit" I say skating off and she jumps on hers following me.
"Your soulmate definitely listens to you listen and sing Broadway all day" she says and I take my headphones out and she laughs.
"Let me guess it's either Hamilton or Waitress" she says and I shake my head.
"Waitress. But shut up" I say skating away faster and when we get to the split I wave at her.
"See you tomorrow bitch" I say.
"Bye fucker" she says and I skate left headed home.
I drop my skateboard by the front door and I run upstairs getting started on my homework and I slide into my desk chair spinning around as I hook up my music and I put my headphones on my head and I unlock my computer getting started on my essay.
"New York City" I sing tapping my pencil against my desk as I do my math.
"The city's yours, it's worth fighting for, it's all yours" I sing scribbling my answers down because I can't be bothered to write it down neatly and I flip my page over.
"A single mom who works too hard, who loves her kids and never stops" I sing putting on just the theme song and I sing along the whole time it's stuck in my head.
"Are you okay?" Ned asks Peter as he sits there silently.
"Yeah, I'm good. She's just keeps singing the theme song to Reba over and over" he says laughing and Ned laughs.
"Is she watching it?" He asks.
"No, she’s definitely just listening to the theme song, she's singing it like back to back" he says.
"Who do you think it is?" Ned asks.
"Honestly just when I think I'm getting closer and closer she throws me for a loop and I can't narrow it down" he says sighing.
The next morning I skate to meet up with Mj and she smiles at me and I smile back and we skate to school in silence, it being way too early for us to talk and greet each other "I'll see you in fourth" she says when we get in the school and I nod heading to calculus.
"My roots are planted in the past though my life is changing fast" I sing as I switch my books out at my locker.
"What are you singing?" Mj asks and I jump shutting my locker and taking my headphone out.
"Nothing" I say quickly.
"That was Reba" she says and I laugh.
"I was watching it a while back and it's been stuck in my head for like two weeks. I sang it like 40 times yesterday while doing homework" I say and she laughs.
"Your poor soulmate" she says and I laugh.
"I don't have one" I say.
"So much Reba" I hear Peter tell Ned as they stroll past.
"Oh my god did you hear that?" Mj asks grabbing my arm and shaking me and I nod laughing.
"Yeah but that doesn't mean anything" I say and she nods.
"It does though. To lunch" she says dragging me off to the cafeteria.
"Hey Peter, hey Ned" Mj says sitting down.
"Hey Mj, Yn" Ned says and I smile at him as I sit down
"How are you?" I ask.
"I'm good. Thanks for asking" he says.
"How are you?" He adds.
"Besides being sick, I'm absolutely good" I say.
"Hey Peter what's going on in that head of yours?" Mj asks.
"Uh nothing" he says looking up.
"Mhm, what is it?" She asks.
"Sorry, I was listening to somebody to love" he says and my heart drops into my stomach and Mj looks down at my phone that’s on my lap and I take my headphone out.
"That's not playing though" I say.
"I know, it's my soulmate" he says shrugging.
"She has the wildest taste in music I've ever heard. She listens to literally everything, one second it'll be Dear Evan Hansen and then The Bee Gees and then Stevie Wonder and she loves just one song by The Beach Boys called Forever, she literally listens to that like 17 times a day on repeat so she gets it out the way and then she'll put on Etta James. Also most of the songs she listens to are glee covers. It’s a rollercoaster because she’s always listening to music" he says chuckling and I exchange a quick glance with Mj because that's literally me and she smirks.
"Tell them about the Reba thing" Ned says and Peter laughs.
"I'm sure they don't ca-"
"Go head tell us" Mj says cutting him off and he nods.
"It's just for the past like 11 days she's been randomly singing and listening to the theme song to Reba and last night she sang it the most. Around like 6:15 she sang it for like an hour and a half back to back" he says and Mj laughs.
"How cute" she says.
"I guess, she has a super nice voice and she gives me new music to listen to. I got into Hamilton because of her" he says.
"Really? What song is she always singing?" Mj asks
"Take a break" he says.
"She loves to perfect the notes at the end" he says and Mj looks at me.
"You never talk about your soulmate Yn" Peter says sensing how quiet I am.
"I'm only 16, I turn 17 tomorrow so I'll know then" I say smiling at him and he nods.
"What are you doing?" He asks and I shrug.
"Probably nothing, my mom and dad are still gone and probably don't realize that it's my birthday" I say.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Mj asks.
"Because your birthday is on Saturday so you don't need to worry about me" I say drinking my juice.
"Yes I do, you're my best friend" she says.
"You can come with my parents and I on my birthday trip because it's too late for us to do anything for you so you can come and we'll handle the rest" she says pulling out her phone and getting up and I try to stop her but she's already on the phone and I sigh.
"Why didn't you tell her?" Peter asks.
"She has such a perfect family and my parents are always gone and I'm sure they don't even remember me. Whenever I go to her house I see this perfect family and I don't want to go to her with my shitty problems when she'd never understand anyway" I say.
"Can you be packed by four today?" She asks coming back before Peter can respond and I nod.
"Yeah of course" I say.
"Good, we'll skate to your house and then my parents are going to get us from there" she says.
"Thanks Mj but you didn’t have to" I say.
"I know but I want to, we've been friends since kindergarten and we've traveled before it's no problem, plus with you going my parents are trusting me with my own room so thanks for being responsible" she says wrapping her arms around me and I hug her back, kissing her head.
"No Hamilton though" she says.
"You invited me and all of my obsessions" I say.
"You like Hamilton?" Ned asks and Mj's eyes go wide and she mouth I’m sorry.
"Yeah, I'm obsessed" I say.
"What's your favorite song?" He asks.
"As a true fan you can't have just one. You have about 46" I say and I look at Mj and out the corner of my eye I see Ned and Peter exchange a look.
Midnight
"And I'm sure you would agree it couldn't fit more perfectly than to have a world party on the day you came to be. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you" I hear and I look over at Mj but she's knocked out on the other bed and I smile, flailing around silently as I freak out and I pull out my phone and I go to Peter's messages.
You
Thank you 💕
Peter
Of course. Happy birthday 🎉
I click my phone off, the biggest smile in the world on my face as I curl up and go to sleep happy.
"What's going on with you?" Mj asks.
"You're all smiles" she adds and I smile at her.
"I'm so excited and I just can't hide it" I sing doing a little dance and she laughs.
"What happened?" She asks still giggling.
"It's Peter" I say.
"What's pet- oh-oh-oh oh my god you heard him?" She asks and I nod squealing.
"How do you know it's Peter?" She asks.
"Last night at midnight I just randomly started hearing happy birthday and I thought it was you, but you were out and snoring and so I texted him a thank you and he responded with of course" I say dancing on the bed and she laughs.
"Come down idiot, we need to get ready" she says and I jump off the bed running into the bathroom.
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loyalhunter · 2 years
Text
Mary Macdonald headcanons
-she’s Vietnamese
-but she’s also Irish
-she grew up in Ireland and had an Irish accent in her first couple years of Hogwarts
-she later moved to England though
-she’s besties with Lily Evans and they either kissed or had crushed on each other at one point maybe even both
-her favourite Taylor album would be Red TV
-she really liked the colour red
-her middle name was Aislinn
-she’s a photographer and it isn’t out of character of her to carry a camera on her neck or a Polaroid
-she’s the one who helped compile the photos of James and Lily into Harry’s photo album
-she’s badass while being feminine and not
-she’s a genderfluid icon! she/they pronouns please
-also biromantic demisexual
-she has four siblings, two older brothers and one younger sister
-she never particularly liked Dumbledore and trusted him even less as she got older
-she didn’t join the order because of it
-she was good friends with her roommates Marlene McKinnon and Alice
-she was also rather artistic
-she was also a halfblood
-sometimes she would go skateboard and would come back to Hogwarts with scarred knees
-sometimes in the middle of artistic imagination she’d leave paint footprints
-she was an aries
-she went to Paris one summer and loved it
-a frequent ring wearer
-would have aesthetic insta feeds
-a summer person!
-she would wear denim jackets too with funky iron on badges
-loves cherries so much and would frequently sport cherry earrings
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rigelmejo · 2 years
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After a mess of calculation and websearching to find out
Saye is 1.04 million characters
Character to english word equivalent is about 1 character to .65 English word
So 1.04 million characters is about 676,000 words equivalent
Which is about 1502 pages.
All this to say, dang saye is a long novel!!
It's not too difficult to read, but wow! Every chinese webnovel is a commitment it feels like lol!
I was reading 秀秀大王 earlier, which feels long but is only like 12 ish chapters or something so I predict it can probably be finished in a week or less if I focus on it. So it's somewhat short for a chinese story I'd tend to find.
In chinese I imagine sayes page count is smaller, maybe 600-1000 pages. Just because I have one out of I think 2 print volumes, and my volume 1 has to be in the 300s to 400s page range.
Anyway. Well. I guess my point is just curiosity and all that djjdjf
1. No wonder I give up on reading so often, it's hard for me to read a 300 page book in English (but I like long books when I can focus on reading), so of course I'm going to struggle to focus on 1000ish page+ books in chinese where I read slower and have to focus more.
2. Upside is if you are into cnovels you are reading so many chapters, even if you're giving novels up partway through, you're bound to make progress!
3. And on that note, I'm reading saye right now and restarted from the beginning. It took me like an hour to read chapter 1. But on the flip side, I noticed such good comprehension this time around. I was very clear on what was going on, the only plot relevant word I looked up was 滑板 skateboard. I looked up some stuff for curiosity to confirm my guess or confirm my pronunciation, but it was a way faster smoother experience than last time I read maybe 8 months ago. So somehow in that time in between my reading comprehension has improved. I should probably go check out daomubiji novels again and see if that's also become even more comprehensible. Cause I'd say with saye today? My comprehension was as good as reading a James Michener novel in english, in the sense I followed the plot totally it's just sometimes there's words I didn't know and interpreted on context. But it's not written as hard as Michener, it felt more like reading maybe a book for high schoolers or middle schoolers and just not knowing some words on occasion (which was very similar to how reading books at that age felt for me in general). Just way better comprehension this time around, I'd genuinely without fear it's too high say I likely comprehend 98% of saye. So its a good reading level for me.
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earthstellar · 3 years
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My TFP Humanformers Headcanons: With Pictures This Time
Originally posted here, but that’s all text only.
In my defence, I studied fashion at university level for two years, so this post was inevitable.
Optimus Prime - James Dean Style, aka “Hot Dad” 
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Optimus would probably love doing the research to determine human styles and what he likes best. 
I can picture him doing a 1950s inspired look, more Greaser than stuffy suits, but in a more James Dean way and not John Travolta in Grease kind of way if he needed to go undercover as Jack’s dad or something.
He’d be a bit older than James Dean was in the above photo, definitely in his 30s at the youngest. Would still have silver mixed in with his black hair, to replicate the silver details on his helm. He doesn’t smoke, but might chew on a pen cap every now and then without thinking about it. 
Ultra Magnus - Vittorio de Sica - Classic Italian Suit Chic
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When doing research into human styles, Optimus showed him a Hermes magazine and some European business style guides from GQ and decided he liked the formal suit look. I imagine he’d have a very Italian look to him, as he might be wearing an Italian or Continental style suit. 
For some reason, Magnus as a 40 or 50 year old stern and stylish Italian guy just works really well. He’d be extremely well dressed, well groomed, would still demand authority, and I imagine him looking like Vittorio de Sica, pictured above. 
He would perhaps use his holoform to accompany Fowler in discussions with some military superiors.
Initially, he wanted to pick a military style uniform for his holoform, and Fowler had to explain to him in detail why that wasn’t an acceptable thing to do. So he went for chic lawyer instead.
Ratchet - Old War Vet + What He Thinks is Nevada Style: George Gabby Hayes
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Ratchet would literally just be my dad or any of his old war buddies, possibly with a mobility aid like a cane or walking stick because that seems to be very popular amongst my dad and his friends. (To quote my father: “I can walk with it and I can beat people with it, so it works fine for me, don’t touch me dammit I can get up by myself.”) 
I get the feeling he’d approach designing his holoform from a logical angle, wanting to fit in with the locals to avoid detection. Unfortunately, this meant he found a bunch of old Western movies online when looking up style inspiration, and decided that this was probably the best look to go for since all these movies were filmed in Nevada, so surely this would be familiar to people, right? (Wrong.) 
He’d be tough and wrinkly, but give those precious old man smiles with big twinkling eyes that shine so brightly against his old weathered skin, and that alone would get him get out of trouble with the authorities-- Or helps him get the others out of trouble. He would play the “I’m just an old person, what do you want from me” card and he would succeed. Then he’d turn around and get mad that everyone treats him like he’s old, lmao.
Arcee - Tori Amos: Late 1990s/2000s Casual 
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Arcee would go for 20s-30s in terms of age, motorcyclist, we already see this on screen every now and then. I think they would estimate for approximate human age relative to one another’s Cybertronian age, so this works as Arcee seems to be younger than the rest. 
I picture her outside of her motorcycle gear in a very late 90s/early 2000s style look, casual but stylish. It would throw people off because she’s so much mature than what people might assume, which gives her an edge in conversation.
Her cover story could be that she’s Jack’s cousin, or maybe a friend of his mom’s, depending on what the mission/situation is. Could also possibly say that she’s one of Jack’s co-workers if need be. She’d probably redesign her holoform to have red hair just to troll Jack (the classmate he has a crush on is a redhead). 
Bulkhead - Mark Sagato + 1990s Alt Rock Gear 
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I can easily picture Bulkhead’s holoform looking similar to Mark Sagato, pictured above, who is a former Sumo wrestler and a film actor. 
He’d be rocking a green cargo jacket layered with a plaid flannel shirt over a plain white tee or a band t-shirt and blue jeans with black steel toe boots, possibly with a workman’s tool belt. His cover story could be that he’s Miko’s uncle visiting from Japan! 
I imagine a very casual 90s alternative rock meets almost-lumberjack look for him, to match Miko a bit. He’d probably have some ribbon wristbands from live shows/gigs up his arm, because Miko would absolutely encourage accessorising.
Wheeljack - Billy Idol + Specifically Grunge Punk 
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Wheeljack would be every single old school dude in the grunge punk scene that I’ve ever met. He’d look like an older Billy Idol, but only if you imagine what that would look like, not like, the actually currently old Billy Idol. 
Older guy, skinny but tough, jean jacket covered in patches and buttons and pins, black jeans held together with random string sewn in like embroidery thread, a pair of Converse so old that they might be from the 70s original line. Grey bandana also covered in pins around his head and another around his neck. He would also have ribbon wristbands from shows, courtesy of Miko’s style advice.
Bumblebee - Fred Olande: 1995 Was a Great Year for Skateboarding
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Bumblebee would be a young guy, maybe even late teens/early 20s, massively baggy yellow hoodie with a black jean vest over the top like a lot of young guys wore in the 90s back when I wasn’t a dinosaur myself. Jeans that are pale from being worn/washed too many times, threadbare around the knees, wearing some kind of skateboarding shoe. I imagine him wearing a beanie as well. Every pocket is full of graffiti pens for the skatepark and his phone screen is cracked.
Raf would help him with his holoform details, and I can picture him basing his look off of some of Raf’s family photos, so he’d definitely be Mexican/Latinx. His cover story could be that he’s Raf’s cousin visiting from a border town or Mexico, and his excuse for not speaking would simply be that he doesn’t know that much English, so that would work out perfectly.
Smokescreen - 1970s/1980s Sports Gear Forever 
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Smokescreen would inevitably try to go for a 1970s/80s movie inspired sporty look, and would probably look to be about in his late teens/early 20s.
Think classic white Nikes, very sporty 80s style with a white and blue puffy jacket (or sweat shirt) and red fabric wristbands. If anyone has a mullet or a feathered hair style, it’s gonna be Smokescreen. His tank top is Adidas, and his sweatpants are also Adidas.
Unfortunately, he then discovers that shorts exist, and cycles between the classic Butterick patterns above, depending on the mission/who he is trying to impress that day. 
(I won’t lie, I did the shorts over sweatpants thing well into the 90s. Yes, I was made fun of.) 
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wkemeup · 4 years
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By Any Other Name (5)
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series summary: When Special Agent Bucky Barnes is tasked with infiltrating the notorious gang Hydra and gathering evidence against its leader, Brock Rumlow, Bucky finds himself drawn to the woman who doesn’t seem to belong in this world of violence, the wife of the head of Hydra… you. pairing: bucky x reader chapter word count: 5.4k warnings: thoughts of smut (we’re  l o n g i n g  here fam), physical violence, bucky actually does some undercover work, that good ol’ cleaning-your-wounds trope  🌹series masterlist 🌹
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You were in trouble.
Wrinkles up by blue-grey eyes and that slight little curve over pink lips every time you walked in the room, a nod in acknowledgement that carried like a secret amongst a crowd of a men.
With his position in the corner of the room and your husband front and center addressing a battalion, the burn of a gentle, watchful gaze followed you as you passed by to the kitchen. James Karpov was surely going to be the death of you.
There was nothing more than innocent conversations between you; late nights in your library just reading together and walking around Brooklyn accompanying you on mindless errands. It was harmless on the surface, something you could easily disregard as a convenient acquaintance filling a void of a companionship you’d lost years ago.
But you weren’t foolish enough for that. You could recognize the twist of nerves in your stomach when he met your eye, when he showed up in your library late at night carrying the latest book you’d lent to him that week, and when he waved over to you and Peter as you made your way to the bridge on Sunday afternoons.
Perhaps, if your time with James was as innocent as you wanted to believe, you wouldn’t be putting in so much effort into hiding it from your husband.
James seemed to know better, at least. He was cautious with you and you could sense the sliver of hesitation when he came too close to crossing a line he couldn’t come back from, the halted breath he stifled, before he ultimately backed away. 
There would be a slight flinch in his hand when his stride fell too close to yours and your knuckles would graze against one another in your pace. He’d clear his throat, eyes darting down to the floor and blush in his cheeks when you’d stare at one another for too long, words trailing off to silence because sometimes just sitting with him in the quiet was enough.
He had nervous ticks, you’d come to realize; ones that surprised you for a man of his position in Hydra. He liked to push his hair behind his ears, raking his fingers through the thick, brunette waves incessantly and shifting on his feet. He'd chuckled nervously, trying to laugh off something real as a joke, and it was nothing if not incredibly endearing. 
You began to long for the way he’d flop down onto the couch in your library with you in the late hours of the evening, long after Brock had gone to sleep, in the quiet, stolen moments when you could smell the faint scent of his body wash and his thigh would brush yours. The fact that he made no effort to move away didn’t pass your notice. 
You cherished every stolen smile from across the room, the secret knowing glances that conveyed a world of meaning, of having shared moments together and inside jokes and something that was entirely your own, something that reminded you of the way things had been before Hydra, before your husband.
James reminded you of who you could have been without Brock, who you were, who you still could be.
It was dangerous -- you knew that -- to care for him in this way. 
You felt no loyalty to Brock, no love shared between you in years. Even in your youth when you’d loved him, you knew now that he never once felt even an ounce of what you had. Everything he did was calculating and political; including his relationship with you. Brock’s jealousy and possessiveness had nothing to do with affection and everything to do with his need to control and place you on display. To show his men that he’d won the trophy and to assert his power by putting a bullet through anyone who so much as looked at you.
It also served to keep you alone and isolated. He liked to keep you dependent, trapped. It was the only way you’d stay. It was your only choice.
You’d accepted that for a while. For nearly three years.
Until James.
It became harder and harder to fall into the role Brock had assigned for you, to let him parade you on his arm at fundraiser galas he’d funnel into Hydra’s pockets, to let him kiss you and touch you, to lay by his side at night and feel the cage of his arms around you like a mindless doll that could have been just about anyone as far as your husband was concerned.
He’d had his affairs, slept with models and women looking to increase their status within Hydra for a price. You hadn’t cared. You welcomed it. It kept him from his desires to take you to bed for a while, at least. He was always too rough, too eager and disregarding of whether your body was attuned to his or whether you were ready for him. You learned to tune it out after a while. He never lasted long, anyway.
It was the moments late at night, when you dared to wonder whether James would be gentle with you, that scared you the most.
You closed your eyes, curled as far away from Brock as you could manage, nearly hanging off the side of the bed, and let yourself dream about how James’ hands would feel running down your arms, over your back, along your spine. 
You wondered if his hands were calloused and rough from years of labored work or smooth and soft like Brock’s. You thought of the sweet way his lips curved into that half smile, how it lit up into the pale blue of his eyes and illuminated golden flecks hidden deep in his irises. You wondered how warm his breath might feel as it ghosted over your skin.
Caught up in the fantasy of stepping past the line drawn in the sand, you dreamed of touching his chest, of curling your fingers into the nape of his hair, of kissing at his cheekbones, his jawline, and nipping at his lips. 
Lush and pink and so incredibly soft.
But it was on the darkest of nights, as Brock slept soundly beside you, an arm thrown over your waist like an anchor sinking you to the depths of the ocean, that you dared to imagine how James might kiss at your neck, how his hand roaming over your side might dip just a little lower under fabric and seeking heat, if his fingers might slip between your legs and find solace there. 
You wondered how he would feel, what it would be like to be as close as two people can be, if the stretch would ache just enough. You wondered if he’d rock into you to prolong the high or if he’d take you rushed and rough. You wondered if he’d still kiss you after he came.
Dangerous thoughts.
***
“Hey Mr. Karpov!” Peter sprinted out ahead of you, chasing down to where James was leaning with his back against a lamp post near the water. He grinned as Peter ran up to him, pushing himself off the post and chuckling to himself.
“Hey kid,” James raised his hand and gave Peter a high five. He turned to you with a softer smile that nearly made your knees give out as he said, “hey Y/n.”
“Hey,” you replied as easily, chewing on your lip. It was getting hard to shove those dangerous thoughts beneath the surface when he looked at you as sweetly as he did.
“So, you going to sneak me into the Lernaean yet?” Peter asked for the seventh Sunday in a row. He was relentless and James had been nothing but charming in every instance he turned him down. 
You didn’t know how to express your gratitude because you knew just about every other Hydra member wouldn’t have batted an eye to sneak an underage kid into the club. They were easier targets to sell their product to. Young. Naïve. Looking to fit in.
But James wasn’t like the rest of them. 
“Try again next time, Pete,” James chuckled, shaking his head. Peter didn’t seem bothered by it at all as he shrugged dramatically. He turned to leave, as he usually did, but James clearly his throat, an apologetic look on his face and suddenly, your heart was sinking. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stick around today.”
“Oh,” was all you said. You winced at how disappointed you sounded.
He clenched his jaw, nodding. “I’ve got business for the boss out of town today.”
“What kind of business does a bouncer need to do?” Peter questioned, and thankfully, James was just as quick on his feet.  
“Checking out security for the club at a vender in Jersey. Don’t be so nosy, punk,” James replied without missing a beat. He ruffled Peter’s hair until he swatted James’ away, though it was amusing to watch. 
You didn’t know what business your husband assigned for him, but you knew what James did for a living, so you knew it was nothing good. It was impossible to merge the idea of James as Brock knew him to the James you did. You couldn’t imagine him doing the things Jack Rollins’ had been capable of when he was alive. You’d heard the stories, the chatter amongst the men in the living room, of how he’d beaten men to death and shot them down in the street on nothing but an order from your husband.
You couldn’t stand to think of James in that way. It was a dissonance, an irregularity, a mistake. It went against every instinct you had and you were usually better at reading people than this.
“So, what are you still doing here?” you asked awkwardly, swallowing back your disappointment. “If you’re supposed to be out of town, I mean.”
James turned to you, a slight sigh in his breath and he looked about as disappointed as you felt. “I wanted to make sure you knew I wasn’t just skipping town and blowing you off.”
Heat burned in your cheeks and you nodded, looking down at the ground. So many divots in the pavement and scuff marks from bicycles and skateboards in the sidewalk...
“That’s, uh, that’s very kind of you, James.”
He couldn’t just say those sorts of things to you and expect your heart not to swell a dozen sizes. You were certain if you looked up at him, you’d be met with ocean blue eyes that could see right into your soul and you weren’t quite sure you could handle that.
“Next time,” James started, pulling a phone from his pocket and handing it to Peter, who started typing it in without being told, “I’ll call and let you know. Alright?”
You raised an eyebrow as Peter handed the phone back to James. He typed into the screen, chewing on his lip as he deleted part of the message and retyped it again before hitting send. Then, your pocket buzzed and you pulled it out to find a message from an unknown number.
For next time – James.
And just like that, you were smiling so wide, you had to chew on the inside of your cheek just to reign it in a little. Peter was snickering to himself, surely enjoying your fluster and James, as sweet as he is, didn’t say a word.
“Smart thinking,” you said, holding up the phone in acknowledgement before you slipped it back into your pocket.
James shrugged, winking at you. “I should head out.” He turned to Peter. “Don’t give your cousin such a headache today, you hear me?”
“Yes, sir,” Peter grinned.
James gave you that soft smile, the subtle nod, and he turned to walk towards the subway.
But then your heart started to clench and suddenly, you found yourself chasing up to him. He was surprised to find you on his heels and froze on the sidewalk, glancing around you thinking there might be some sort of danger, but your hand gripped at his forearm, grabbing his attention back to you.
“Just be careful, will you?”
You swallowed nervously, voice impossibly small, and James’ entire demeanor shifted. A sense of relief followed by something you couldn’t quite place. A sadness, maybe?
He nodded, pushing out a smile that curved ever so slightly on his lips. “Of course. I’ve still got half the Harry Potter series to finish, don’t I?”
You laughed, feeling the tension quickly dissipate at the memory. He was surprised to find you had modern first editions too and you almost whacked him upside the head when he told you he’d never read the series before.
“See you tomorrow, Y/n.”
“Okay.”
You watched as he turned to head back down the street, the slight swagger in his steps, the weight of his walk, hands shoved into his pockets as he glanced down the street before crossing to the other side. You hardly noticed Peter come up beside you.
“I like that guy,” he said simply, as if you didn’t already know how much Peter had come to idolize James. The thought alone would have terrified you a few months back, before you really knew him and he was just the enforcer to the organization you loathed, but now, it only made you smile.
“Yeah,” you sighed, turning to Peter and nodding for him to follow you to the lunch spot you were going to offer to bring James, “me, too.”
***
This was the last place Bucky wanted to be.
Most of the time, when he was sent on these sorts of assignments undercover, he’d rather be sitting on the couch in Steve’s basement, watching football on the big screen and rooting against whatever team Sam was for. He’d rather have a cold beer in his hand and a sweatshirt over his shoulders and massive bowl of Peggy’s buffalo chicken dip, though he still didn’t know how a Brit perfected his favorite football snack.
But lately, since meeting you, he’d found himself picturing sitting on the end of your sofa under warm blankets long after the sun set, the smell of sweet herbal tea wafting from your mug on the coffee table, the crisp sound of pages turning – yours a little faster than his – and the way you’d glance up over the bridge of your book to check for his expression, wondering if he got to your favorite part yet.
Hell, he’d happily take strolling mindlessly through Brooklyn, following on your heels through your list of errands as watching you interact with the owners, that bright shining smile on your face. He’d rather be anywhere you were, he realized, and it made his blood run cold.
No – instead, he was walking up to an abandoned factory building in on the outskirts of D.C. with graphiti on the walls and the distinct smell of sulfur hanging in the air. Rumlow sent him to check on the progress of Cerberus, the drug they were trying to perfect, because it was still killing more users than it was addicting.
Fury had sent Bucky’s sample to the lab and they were still working on decoding its makeup. It was a nasty concoction of a whole lot of bad as far as he was concerned, and he didn’t much care what was in it as long as it could be used to put Rumlow and all his men behind bars.
Bucky shoved his shoulder into the door, the squeak of the old metal and rust echoing through the room. Inside, was a series of long tables and dozens of men and women working with masks over their faces and gloves on their hands as they handled the bright red powder. It was loud, the whirring sounds of the machines taking up much of the space and voices calling over one another.
Bucky slid his way down the aisle, carefully observing until he came upon a short, round man with glasses sitting on the brim of his nose.
“Ah, Mr. Karpov,” he greeted, thick German accent. “I’m glad to see you made it.”
“What do you want, Zola?” he grumbled. It was the second part of his assignment. Check the progress. Attend to whatever Zola was bothering the boss about; something about an out of line employee with sticky fingers.
“Straight to the point I see.” Zola pulled off his gloves and nodded for a woman standing behind him to take his place. He turned to Bucky. “Come with me.”
Bucky clenched his jaw, following him through the aisles of tables filled with stacks and bricks of Cerberus until they came upon a room in the vary back of the factory. It was locked and Zola took nearly a full minute to punch in the code.
When the door opened, Bucky was surprised to find a man strapped to a chair at the center of the room, hands bound by rope to the arm rests and mouth covered with tape. His eyes widened upon seeing Bucky, fear jolting through him, and the muffled screaming started.
“Hush now,” Zola warned, the condescending shit that he was. He gestured to the man. “This is Benny Ripley. We discovered that he’s been skimming our product in the lower east side. Four dime bags in the last week! Isn’t that right?”
Benny was talking, shouting maybe, against the tape but Bucky couldn’t understand a word of it.
“He must be an example to the rest of our dealers, James,” Zola said and Benny’s eyes went wide, his head shaking back and forth. “We can't allow them to believe we are the forgiving type. Do you understand?”
This man talked to him like he was all muscle and no brain. It took nearly everything in him not to wrap his hands around the tiny little man and shove him to the wall himself.
But instead, he muttered, “of course, sir.”
“Good.” Zola wiped off his hands. Benny was still talking, voice still muffled, and Zola rolled his eyes, darting a hand to the side of the man’s face and bluntly ripping away the tape, leaving a bright red mark in its place.
Benny didn’t even take time to wince or cry or stretch out his jaw before he was begging.
“Please man, don’t do this.” His voice was cracking as he stared at Bucky. “I’ve-- I’ve got kids! They had me test the stuff a few months back and now I’m-- I’m-- fuck. The shits expensive, okay! I didn’t-- I didn’t know what else to do. Please, just let me go, man. I’ll-- I’ll do anything.”
Bucky hated this part of the job.
It was one thing when it was a low life sonuvabitch but this guy? Shit. He was one of the ones that got roped into this life without much of a choice and judging by the look in his eye and the flash of his stare down to the gun strapped on Bucky’s hip, he was scared.
Bucky hated it when they were scared.
It wasn’t the first time he’d dirtied his hands for Hydra and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. It certainly didn’t help his conscious in the meantime.
“I’ll leave you to it,” Zola grinned.
Fucking bastard.
No one ever specified what it was he was required to do. It was his best workaround. He’d rough the guy up a bit and send him on his way. Bruises healed. Bullets were a little more complicated.
“Come on man,” Benny begged again, trying to wiggle his way out of the chair.
Bucky wanted to tell him to just stop talking, to stay still and take it and it would be over soon. He’d be careful with his hits. He knew how to punch just hard enough to cause bruising but to avoid cracking bones. It’ll look like a mess, but he’ll heal.
He wanted to tell him to stop looking at him like he was a fucking killer, but he knew his cover, and James Karpov wouldn’t have given a second thought to beating the guy to death.
So, he ignored Benny’s pleas and threw the first punch to the side of his face. He stepped back, shaking out his hand, and the poor guy kept begging. He only stopped after the fourth hit, when blood was spewing from his mouth and his skin was beet red. Bucky kept going until his knuckles were raw and broken and Benny’s head hung forward in the chair. He’d lost consciousness.
Bucky had been hoping it would happen sooner, but the guy was a fighter. He toughed it out longer than he should have.
With a heavy groan, Bucky untied Benny’s arms and hulled his body up over his shoulder. He kicked open the door to the office with a thunderous boom and the entire factory went silent. He marched down to the center of the crown, ignoring the hushed whispers of the workers and the prideful smirk on Zola’s face as he dropped Benny down to the ground.
“Steal from our shit, this is what happens!” Bucky called out, pointing down to Benny. He was unmoving on the ground, blood dripping from his mouth onto the concrete. Gasps filled the otherwise completely silent room. “I won’t be as kind with the next one!”
His words echoed up through the rafters and Bucky desperately wished he was in your library with you, listening to your soft humming and you picked out the next book on your list for him, instead of being on the receiving end of so many terrified stares.
“Get back to work!” he shouted, waving his arm and everyone turned back to their tables instantly, the machines kicking back into gear, though no one was talking.
“Good job Mr. Karpov,” Zola said, nudging Benny’s arm with the toe of his shoe and giggling when it fell limply back to the ground.
“You need anything else?” Bucky grumbled.
Zola shook his head, still grinning down at Benny’s unconscious frame. “No, no. This is quite enough.”
Thank god.
***
“This is why I keep you around, Karpov,” Rumlow smirked, pouring two glasses of scotch from the crystalline container on the bar cart. He passed a glass to Bucky, despite his reluctance to accept, and leaned back against the desk. “I heard you scared the shit out of that place.”
Bucky nodded, taking a sip of the amber liquid because simply being in a room alone with Rumlow was reason enough to drink. It burned in his throat and down his chest.
“Had to make an example.”
“Personally, I would have just killed him.” Rumlow shrugged, throwing back nearly half his glass in a single gulp. He smacked his lips, sighing at the taste or the feeling or the bloodlust – Bucky didn’t know. Rumlow raised a finger to him, extending from the hand gripped around the glass. “I admire your creativity.”
“Figured it would have more impact to see the guy walking around for the next two months with all that shit on his face than seeing a body for a few hours,” Bucky said, detesting the words as they came out.
“Genius!” Rumlow laughed, finishing the rest of his glass. Buck had hardly made a dent. “Knew I liked you for a reason.”
Bucky pushed out the most of a smile he could manage. It was tight and barely in a thin line and it certainly didn’t reach his eyes, but Rumlow didn’t seem to care. He set the empty glass down on the desk and swung around the other side to grab his coat. Bucky raised a brow.
“You heading out, sir?” he asked. It was nearing on two in the morning.
Rumlow nodded. “Got a meeting downtown.”
The smirk that followed made Bucky sick to his stomach.
He knew exactly where Rumlow was heading; into the arms of a woman waiting for him in the suite of a hotel he often frequented. It wasn’t unusual for him, to so openly cheat on you and joke about it with his men as if infidelity was something to boast about.
Bucky hoped that while you were married to Rumlow, you didn’t love him, just as Natasha had suspected. He tried to tell himself that he only wished that to be true in hopes you wouldn’t be hurt by Rumlow’s actions, but he knew, deep down, it was because of his own feelings for you.
He couldn’t bear the thought of you loving a man like Rumlow.
Though, glancing down at his hands, broken and bloodied, raw and used, he wondered if he was really any better.
After Rumlow shrugged on his coat and disappeared out into the hall, Bucky took a moment to breathe. His hands were aching and he needed to get them disinfected if he didn’t want them to swell and ooze by morning. The slam of the front door rang through the hall and even from back in the office, Bucky could hear the Maserati roaring to life.
With a heavy sign, he made his way down into the kitchen to grab a damp towel and some antibiotic from the cabinet before settling down on the couch in the living room. He had some time before Rumlow returned anyway and he planned to be gone before the bastard came back.
He winced, hissing, as the cloth touched the open wounds. Red seeped into the light blue of the terrycloth and he gripped at his fists, clenching his jaw as tried to brush away the dried blood and dirt.  
“James?”
His breath caught in his throat.
The damn near sweetest voice he ever heard calling his name; the kind that made his stomach twist in knots, his heart flutter like he was sixteen years old again on the schoolyard, and despite the blood coating the broken knuckles of his fists and the splatter of red over his collar, his cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink.
Bucky glanced up to find you standing on the top steps of the staircase, dressed in an oversized t-shirt falling just to the mid of your thigh as you wrapped your robe tighter across your chest to hide from the cold. A shiver ran up your spine and you looked around the room nervously, checking for unwanted observers.
“He’s not home,” Bucky said quietly, knowing exactly who you were looking for. A relief flowed through the tension in your shoulders and you smiled softly at him.
You were stunning, Bucky thought to himself, even with your hair mangled from sleep and pillow creases in your cheeks, no makeup upon your face and toes curling under bare feet. He’d never seen a prettier sight.
Your eyes trailed down to his hands as he wrung them in his lap, dabbing the blood away with an old, fraying washcloth.
“Oh my god,” you gasped, rushing down the stairs to him. “What happened?”
Bucky realized then as you swung around the banister, that he was sitting upon a couch more expensive than his apartment and quickly jolted up away from the suede fabric.
“Sit down,” you ordered and he fell back on the couch without another word.
He chuckled a bit under his breath at your sternness, the clear worry lines in your forehead, and he struggle not to reach out and brush his thumb against them to ease the lines away.
The weight of the couch dipped ever so slightly as you sat next to him and your eyes fell back to his hands. He gritted his teeth, hating that you ever saw him like this, a reminder of who he was to your husband, who he was supposed to be.
You knew him as a criminal, a murderer, and yet you still managed to look at him like he was worth something in this world.
“I thought I told you to be careful,” you sighed, slowly tearing away your gaze from his hands to meet his eye. There was a guilt in your voice that broke his heart, like you were somehow responsible for your husband’s orders.
An overwhelming urge ached deep within his chest; an urge to tell you who he was, to tell you he could take you away from all this if you’d let him, but he bit his tongue.
“M’always careful,” Bucky said but you didn’t believe him. He glanced down to see the broken knuckles on his fists and the sting of the cloth burned twice as hard.
“I worry about you, James,” you said in a hushed whisper and it damn near broke him in two.  
He tore his eyes away from you, certain he’d break from his cover in an instant if you looked at him like that any longer, like you might envelope him into your arms if he would just come willingly. He’d lay his head on your chest and wrap his arms around your waist and maybe you’d stroke his back and run your fingers through his hair and he’d find an ounce of solace amongst all the violence and crime and pain he’d emerged himself in for the last few years.
You tilted your head, studying his expression. “Are you alright? James?”
It stung when you called him that, he realized. 
But he nodded slowly, watching silently as your hands ghosted over his and took the washcloth from his grasp. Wordlessly, you cradled his right hand, cold fingers against the heat his palm. 
Your hands were so small; delicate and tender. He found himself wondering, as he often did, of what those hands would feel like sweeping the side of his face, running over his cheekbones or circling on his thigh. He didn’t dare think of more. 
You dabbed the cloth against the open wounds on his knuckles and he hissed.
“Sorry,” you muttered, offering him a grimace.
“S’okay,” he replied sincerely despite the sting on his skin.
When you were finished cleaning away the blood and gently applied the antibiotic gel, you wrapped his hands in the spare gauze you’d found under the kitchen sink. The moment your hands left his, he felt a wave of cold, of emptiness, pass over him. You must have felt it too because you were having a hard time looking at him.
You swallowed, turning away from him and stared down at the floor. Your arms wrapped at your robe, tugging it tight over your chest. “What did he have you do this time?”
“It’s nothing you need to know about,” Bucky replied dimly, pushing out a smile for you but you saw right past it, you always did.
“That’s what Brock always says.”
That hurt. He didn’t want you to think he was anything like your husband but it was part of his cover. He had to be convincing, even to you.
“Just... be safe, will you?” you sighed, raking your fingers through your hair. “The things Brock asks of you... they can be so dangerous. I don’t know what I would... if something were to happen to you...”
“Come on, now,” he cooed, leaning forward enough to see your face despite the hair that fell in his way, “won’t be that easy to bring me down. Don’t you have any faith in me?”
The edges of your lips curved and Bucky couldn't help the grin on his face. You turned to him, smiling, and brushed at your eyes. His face softened, surprised by the redness there, and he wanted to ask if you were alright, wanted to know if he was the cause of those tears...
But then, headlights flooded into the living room, pulling both of you from the sanctuary of your aloneness.
Bucky stood quickly, facing the door, and you were already halfway to the stairs, well-conditioned in your response time by now.
Bucky glanced over his shoulder, watching as you started to ascend the stairs, but you were slow in your steps, reluctant. You met his eye over the edge of the banister and smiled softly, sadly. He hated that you were making your way to Rumlow’s bed, to lay under sheets you shared with a monster.
Bucky wondered sometimes if he was any better.
He tried not to think of the day you’d find out he was lying to you all this time because he was almost certain he’d lose you, whatever piece of you he did have, and it would kill him.
He mouthed ‘goodnight’ and you nodded, lingering just a moment longer before you disappeared up the steps. The soft, padding of your footsteps were barely noticeable amongst the hardwood floors but he listened intently before he heard the squeak of your bedroom door close.
The front door swung open with a loud bang and Rumlow stumbled inside, grumbling under his breath as he threw his coat onto the couch and kicked off his shoes. He was surprised to find Bucky standing in his living room. Bucky held up his hands, giving a slight shrug, and Rumlow nodded in understanding.
He closed the door behind him. “Damn broad didn’t even show. Had to take care of her gremlins.”
Bucky clenched his jaw, doing his best to keep a stern face.
“Don’t have kids, man,” Rumlow grunted as he made his way up the stairs. “Little life ruiners.”
Bucky nodded, not daring to even open his mouth because he wasn’t quite sure what would come out. He wondered if you could hear Rumlow coming up the steps from inside your room, if you were anxious or afraid or simply tired of it all.
But mostly, he wondered if you wished it was him.
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