#also im trying to boop everyone back but im sorry if i miss someone :>

[justladders]

Get booped handsome uwu

he would just perpetually be confused by the way people on the internet speak

[catboy-lover-archive]

Obey Me Romanian MC

idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)

Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30

Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele

[added translations]

(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)

Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?

MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩‍🍳👌😘 mwah

-

MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.

Asmo: Awww

Beel: :(

Belphie: What?!

Satan: Why?

MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴

-

Asmo: But I thought you could-

MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

-

Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-

MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*

-

Solomon: What is this weird potion.

MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*

MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖

-

MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?

MC: Tsch tsch tsch

Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond

MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it

Lucifer: Fair enough

-

Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?

MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔

-

MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨

-

(after the Belphie incident)

MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too

-

MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜

Belphie: My butt still hurts...

MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)

-

*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*

Mammon: W-what's that???

Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose

Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!

MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi����înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)

-

MC: Who has summoned me?

Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.

MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨

Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.

MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*

Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable

MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-

-

Barbatos: MC...

MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.

Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?

MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*

-

Diavolo: Do you like my castle?

MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.

MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows

-

Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...

MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳

MC: Real music here 😌

-

MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*

Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...

MC: That's the spirit!

-

MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!

-

Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.

Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.

MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼

-

Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!

MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...

MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?

-

Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*

Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*

MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*

MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!

-

MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊

Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-

MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)

-

Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?

MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*

MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...

Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?

MC: The secret is to use your wrist-

-

MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?

Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?

MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you

-

MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?

Simeon: ...what? :)

MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!

MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there

MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.

-

Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.

MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)

-

MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is

Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.

Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.

-

MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜‍♀️🧜‍♂️

(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)

-

MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*

-

Belphie: *misbehaving*

MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)

MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*

-

MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ

-

MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)

-

MC: Where is my țuică? :)

Everyone: *quiet*

MC: I won't get mad :)

MC:

MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)

Everybody: *runs*

MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use

-

Levi: *exists*

MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*

MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)

-

MC: Lucifer you don't understand!

MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!

-

MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore

-

Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight

MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)

-

MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică

MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)

-

Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe

MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)

-

Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?

MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)

Mammon, clueless: ok thanks

-

MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like

-

Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?

MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.

-

Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*

Asmo: Please love me!

MC: *already in wedding attire*

-

MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!

MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?

MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT

-

MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*

MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)

-

MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again

MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.

-

MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)

MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)

MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition

-

Diavolo: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)

-

Simeon: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)

-

Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...

MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)

-

MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?

MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake

MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house

MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN

-

MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so

MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*

MC: that works wonders for me

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

alright well i work best under pressure so given that i now have an hour and 20 minutes before i start a voice call with someone i think it’s the perfect time to do that one video analysis so i can actually start finishing up that maya post... man i really should’ve pumped that shit out earlier, but i kept procrastinating until we got new info. then more new info. and i mean we DO have lots of new updated info, bc i have a whole thing in there about Punk girl i gotta edit out now lmao

anyway

Zane Flynt? this trailer killed me, it’s the only thing i’ve watched all day. like. on repeat.

ive said it before and ill say it again, 3 months ago i call zane attractive on reddit and get ridiculed but then we find out he’s an irish bastard and everyone jumps on the fuck train

anyway

elpis is looking good and not explody/teleporty, so that’s always a good sign

so the locale plus the twang immediately had me thinking of lynchwood but that’s not right

the bar itself looks a lot like that mine area we see, so i’d be willing to guess it’s nearby, you know, if it’s an area in the game at all lmao

like the windows are similar plus the wood

the bar itself is giving me some mixed signals here, but im gonna bet it was taken over by the CoV from the crimson raiders (recruitment banner, but then the CoV logo is on the wall/screen over there)

That, plus the rose on the counter next to Zane seems sus

another mine looking building in the back

also lmao

it’s time to enter the BONEEEE ZONNEEE

no more DAHL dumpsters? F

okay this area looks super familiar

that plus the varkids, this is 100% the same place as this

which is interesting

looks like Zane’s been hanging out on Pandora for a while... kinda upset we didn’t hear about his brothers at all in this trailer, but it was still fuckin hilarious and well worth the wait

those canisters? vats? look like the ones near the burger launcher vid hang on

also some in the back here

so yeah more than likely the same area

also

`lines up the perfect shot`

`completely missed both shots`

lovey, bravo, champagne, sloooow clap

anyway i’d wager this is an old dahl mining camp? probably mining for iridium

you can see the 

conveyor belt thingie here

and also all the minecarts and rails are very reminiscent of the caustic caverns

which probably would have dropped iridium into the vat below it, if said vat wasn’t tipped over onto its side

more shots of the building he’s in

closeup of the rails. which, weird as it sounds, is really great to see because sometimes in bl2 and even tps when you got super close up to a texture, it wouldn’t look too hot, even on the best settings. the textures in 3 are so CRISP i love them

varkid 🤮 i hate bugs. model looks fantastic tho! i just... hate bugs

see the camera is flipped upside down, so miles this cultist is not falling, he’s rising- he’s being lifted up

how nice

im getting percy jackson flashbacks here. this is 100% how clarisse shoved percy into the toilet, right?

with the way the cultist isn’t even trying to get out im afraid zane just shoved a corpse into the dook hut. i mean all the power to ya, man

he’s stuck

also

this building in the back is new

i won’t say it

you know what im thinking

i won’t say it

i promise

~smile~

there’s also what i think is a smiley face sticker on the wall to his right

water physics lookin fine 👌

also the way zane jumps back. bonelesspotter i know you read these, are you picking up what i’m putting down?

MAGIC CUP MAGIC CUP ALL HAIL

see the lack of drink is supposed to parallel hi s lack of companio- im sorry hahahaaha i can’t do this

rose. it’s a SIGN

there’s so much going on in the background here lemme just

im sitting here like >:( because i know i’ve seen that type of wall before and for the life of me can’t remember where

my brain is screaming sanctuary

the actual middle piece looks super familiar

is that what they attach the out of bounds turrets to? possibly.

this bit

also it looks like there’s a dam or something in the back back?

tbh im a lot more interested in the skyway all the way at the top, it reminds me a lot of bloodshot ramparts

cuz it also used to be a skyway

also zane is doing his pose for the main menu screen of the game

and i would say it’s possible this could’ve been the main menu, but the cliff is different, and there’s supposed to be a boxcar/shipping crate on the right (as when u go to options it moves over to it)

more vats! what is the deal with this mine? why is it featured so heavily in this video gearbox tell me your s e c r e t s

you’d think, with zane being the one who’s been around the proverbial block over his years, he’d be on multiple planets throughout his entire trailer. but like 80% of it is pandora. maybe the other VHs are getting featured on other planets? at least he has a reason to be on pandora outside of the main story (maybe looking for his brothers, maybe trying to piss on their graves, who knows)

i don’t know what he’s reaching for but uh

perhapeth the blades are activated by swinging his arm out? could be a hold over from when they were like... actual metal blades and needed to be knocked out into position

i love that he returns the wave after shoving this guy off the cliff

it’s not like he can see you man

go off i guess though

some bar on eden-6 (finally! a new planet!) also i like that the theme here is zane getting into fights in bars. good shit boys

get wrecked kid

i really like the design of this building. i love the windows. maybe part of jakobs manor? looks like maybe it’s a greenhouse or smth given it’s in this garden/courtyard area

which should look somewhat familiar

looks very similar to this area, but it doesn’t look like there’s a building on the left in this shot. maybe they added it in for the trailer 🤷‍♂️

the trees behind the big one (and next to the iron wrought fence) match up perfectly tho

i just really like this shot ngl

i love these fuckign expressions i cant

Friend

okay im sorry here’s a smiley boy

the facial animations are so fucking good this time around

that is all i am doing.

just appreciating the new animations.

SOMEONE HELP THIS TINY MAN HE’S TRAPPED IN A SQUARE

fuck dude we didn’t deserve this man

MAGIC CUP MAGIC CUP ALL HAIL

seriously tho, the glass is gone. idk where it went. im just gonna pretend he was practicing that one iconic Kingsman scene while talking to himself and providing us with flashbacks

manners.

maketh.

man.

also this is my new favorite reaction image

it’s ‘perfect in every way’

you want more booze?

what are your thoughts on the new guns?

where’d you hide the body?

(it’s in the dumpster)

also unlike the magic cup

the rose is still here

Cultist coming to see why the windows of their bar are glowing neon yellow and blue im sure

>shit

it’s cool to know the clone can actually emote

given in the So Happy Together it was basically an expressionless blue demon

still no cup. all hail

some more CoV graffiti!

boops

i am sad we didn’t get to see zoomer in this video at all

zoomer is cute

i like zoomer

anyway

that’s all for the trailer folks

i love the implication that he’s just sitting in this empty CoV bar, talking to himself, waiting for someone to notice and come confront him so he can kick their asses.

anyway this post 100% wasn’t an excuse to rewatch the entire trailer frame by frame or anything

maya post coming soon! wahoo

also i have 10 minutes left lmao nice

[captain-kingliamsqueen]

The Morning After - Liam x MC

Continuation of “Ladies and Gentlemen The King Has Left The Building!” <---- you may want to have a ready of this before reading “the morning after”

Pairing: Liam x Riley 

Summary: … Its the morning after and riley decides to take advantage of the fact that Liam couldn’t remember the events from the night before...

Word Count: 2,483

Tagged : @starstruckzonkoperatorbat  @drakelover78  @queencatherynerhys @devineinterventions2 @jayjay879  @kawairinrin  @hopefulmoonobject @flyawayboo  @gardeningourmet  @blackcatkita  @syltti78  @theroyalweisme  @hhiggs  @mfackenthal  @bruteforcebears @pens-girl-87  @barbaravalentino @umccall71 @darley1101 @crookedslimecreatorpasta  @jamjar84 @starstruckpixelberryhistoryvoid @speedyoperarascalparty @katurrade @scarlettedragon @zeniamiii @annekebbphotography @liam-rhys @xxrainbowprincessxx @perfectprofessorherokid @mynameiskaylabella @marywrites-things @zaffrenotes @cocomaxley @innerpostmentality @alepowell @missevabean @romanticatheart-posts @smalltalk88 @sarwin85 @lodberg

 ASK IF YOU WANT TAGGED! SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONE! (USED THE TAGS FROM MY “ALWAYS” SERIES LET ME KNOW IF ANYONE WANTS UNTAGGED!!!)

I always notice every single spelling mistake or issue after I’ve posted…so apologies in advance! 

 The next morning Riley woke up to a weight lying ontop of her. She moaned and grumbled as she tried to move, but she couldn’t. “what the-” she mumbled as her eyes flickered open to see her husband lying ontop of her snoring away, both of them still fully dressed.

“Liam” she whispered trying to wake him without startling him “Liam!” she said louder causing him to groan and move slightly “Liam!” she raised her voice loud enough to wake up but not too loud to alert the guards outside.

“shhhhh Riley im sleeping” he groaned “get off’a me!” she chastised as she gently pushed him over, so he would move. He rolled over a little too far causing him to roll off the side of the bed, hitting the floor with a thud

“ouch! Riley!!” he groaned

“don’t you ouch Riley me!” she mumbled “I can’t feel half my body because you, Mr I’m going to drink a shit ton of alcohol and embarrass myself, fell asleep ontop of your wife after you got her all hot and bothered!”

“shhhh don’t shout” Liam mumbled quietly. Riley moved over to the side of the bed wondering why he hadn’t gotten back up yet, as she looked over she cursed under her breathe. There he lay falling back asleep. “LIAM!” she bellowed startling him awake!

“shhhh!!!!!” he grimaced as he covered his ears. “you’re so mean to me”

“that’s what you get for leaving me high and dry mister!”

“what?” he asked confused as he slowly sat himself up, leaning on the bed with his head leaning down on his arms “I don’t remember anything Riley, what happened?”

“what’s the last thing you remember?”

“um our conversation outside, just before we came back into the palace.”

“why are we still dressed? Didn’t we…y’know…?”

“no…no we did not “y’know”! I thought we were going to…the whole damn palace thought we were going to!”

“what?” he lifted his head

“oh yeah…you announced it to the whole damn party that I was trying to get into your pants and that you were going to bring me back to our room and…ohh let me see…what was it you called it?” she replied sarcastically “hmmm…oh yes that’s it…we were gonna play hide the sausage…and you were going to be parking the beef bus…in tuna town!” she yelled in a whisper. She watched as Liam's face reddened from embarrassment.

“i told the whole court?” he whispered in shock

“everyone that was still there!”

“oh my- how am I supposed to face them now!” he sighed

“oh…never mind the people of court…the poor waiter! You booped him!”

“I booped him?”

“right on his damn nose! THEN LAUGHED! REPEATEDLY!” she tried not to laugh but she couldn’t help it “poor damn waiter…his face was a picture though”

“Riley this isn’t funny…I’m a king for goodness sake!”

“yeah, a king who’s still sitting in his clothes from the party last night, sitting on the floor after falling off the bed, with a splitting headache!” she laughed

“riley…this isn’t funny” he smirked

“oh, my poor Liam…you think that’s bad you don’t know the worst of it!” riley laughed, she wanted to really get him back for leaving her high and dry, so she decided to mess with him a little bit.

“what?” he asked her seriously

“yeah…I’m not sure if I should tell you”

“Riley you gotta tell me…”

“are you sure you wanna know?”

“yes Riley! Yes, I want to know!”

“alright…well…you should probably avoid Bastian as much as you can”

“why? What did I do?” Liam answered seriously

“let’s just say your highness that you decided to play a little tonsil tennis last night and it wasn’t with me!” she was dying to laugh as she watched Liam's face go pale.

“what?” he gulped

“yeah…”

“how the hell am I supposed to avoid Bastian! Hes my damn security!! He follows me everywhere!”

“I don’t know maybe you should have thought of that before you went to first base with him” she chuckled

“Riley! This isn’t funny”

“I’m sorry I can’t help it…its hilarious!” she guffawed

“wait…why aren’t you hungover!” Liam asked knowing Riley had also been drinking

“because my lovely husband… I worked in a bar…I have mastered the talent of drinking without a hangover” she smirked

“you should really go shower, you have like thirty minutes before your first meeting with Francesco starts”

“oh no…how am I going to face him after last night?”

“I’m sure he won’t even remember, and if he does he’s not going to embarrass you Liam…you’re the king…he’ll probably act like he doesn’t have a clue what you’re talking about, just don’t bring it up”

“yes…but I know what happened Riley!...the things I said in front of him…in front of everyone” he groaned as he got up running his hands over his face and through his hair

“Liam you still have fake blood on your face…” realising he had just pulled it through his hair he groaned making his way over to the bathroom. Riley stood from the bed and made her way over to him, catching him just at the door.

“I didn’t get a morning kiss” she whispered shyly

“oh” he smiled softly, leaning down and placing his lips on hers.

“I’ll get you some breakfast to eat before your meeting” she smiled

“and som-”

“painkillers” she finished what he was going to say.

“yes…thank you” he placed a gently kiss on her head then headed into the bathroom to climb into the shower.

After a quick shower, the bathroom door opened and out walked Liam with a towel wrapped around his waist. Water droplets falling from his hair onto the small towel he had draped over his shoulders. Riley had just finished making his breakfast in the little kitchenette in the royal apartment, she walked into the bedroom, placing his plate of pancakes down on the small table with two painkillers and a glass of orange juice.

Liam stood in front of his dresser, drying his hair with the towel from his shoulders. riley headed over to the walk in closet to get some clothes for when she got out of the shower.

“Riley?” Liam called

“yeah?”

“can you come here for a second…”

Riley made her way out into the bedroom where Liam stood butt ass naked looking through his drawers.

“did you move my briefs?”

“Liam…why on earth would I do that?” she smirked

“because its you…” he smirked

“you want your panties you’re going to have to look for ‘em”

“Riley! For the millionth time they’re men’s briefs”

“what about…budgie smugglers?”

“Riley!”

“Banana Hammock?”

“no”

“Pickle pincher”

“Riley I swea-”

“MANTIES” she guffawed as she made her way back into the closet then walked out just a few seconds later with a black pair of men’s briefs

“you moved them yesterday” she smirked

“I did?”

“yes…before we had dinner?”

“yes that’s right I did!, sorry” he blushed

“its alright…now get your manties on before someone comes looking for you” she pinged his underwear at him then walked back into the closet laughing.

“you’re lucky I love you!” he called to her as he caught them.

“aww I love you too sweetie!” she chuckled

Once he was dressed Liam sat down to quickly eat his breakfast and take his painkillers whilst Riley went for a shower. After putting his plate on the counter in the kitchenette he went into the bathroom and slid the shower door open a little.

“ill see you later” he smiled

“see you later sweetie, I love you” Riley smiled as she placed a gently kiss on his lips careful not to get any water on him.

“I love you too” he replied with a smile before pulling the shower door shut then heading out for his meeting. Once he reached the door to the apartment Liam gripped the handle then let out a deep breath knowing Bastian would be outside the door. He opened the door with a smile on his face.

“good morning your majesty” Bastian greeted him with a curt nod

“yes good morning” Liam replied a little awkwardly, Liam stood not knowing what to say next.

“ummm…” he mumbled then cleared his throat “shall we?...” he gestured for them to head down the corridor.

“of course your Majesty…after you.”

“of course” Liam smiled slightly then started to make his way down to his meeting.

He had no idea if he should say anything about the night before or if he should just pretend it never happened…no he should say something…Bastian was his head of security but also a friend, he didn’t want it to be awkward between them.

“Bastian…I-I hope you will accept my apology for last night”

“no need your Majesty…”

“yes there is Bastian…”

“you were just enjoying the ball your Majesty nothing wrong with that…as a matter of fact…I quiet enjoyed the show” Bastian smirked

“you enjoyed it?”

“yes your Majesty…it was quiet entertaining”

“entertaining?” Liam whispered to himself

“don’t worry your Majesty…your secret is safe with me”

“no Bastian there is no secret, ive not got any secrets”

“what happens between two people stays between them” Bastian replied obviously talking about the kings behaviour last night, knowing that hardly any members of the court were actually still there, he wasn’t going to say a word to anyone about the kings kinky mind.

“yes…thank you?” Liam thanked him confused about the whole conversation.

Once they approached the door to his office, the two stopped outside.

“your Majesty…” Bastian pointed to his own lips trying to show the king that he had a little bit of his breakfast on his mouth. Liam's eyes widened, shocked as he took a step back

“Bastian! That is not appropriate!!” Liam exploded then turned and entered the room, closing the door behind him.

Liam spent the whole meeting stuck in his head, he couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation with Bastian…why on earth would Bastian think it was okay to do that? He knew he was married… The king rattled his brain trying to figure it out.

It was just twenty minutes into the meeting when Francesco grabbed the king’s attention.

“Your Majesty…if I may be forward…I wasn’t going to say anything but…it seems you have something on your mouth” Liam turned to see his reflection in the window beside him then he gasped “no…” he whispered as he removed the food, realising that Bastian had just been pointing out the food on his mouth.

“thank you Francesco” he nodded as his attention fell to the meeting. The meeting finished about forty minutes later, once Francesco had left the room Liam called Bastian in.

“your majesty”

“Bastian…I apologise…I shouldn’t have yelled earlier, I didn’t realise you were telling me I had something on my face”

“that’s quite alright”

“No Bastian it isn’t, you know I’ve been racking my brain all through that meeting about our conversation earlier…about last night…i was intoxicated…I should not have advanced on you the way that I did…it was unprofessional…”

“but your maje-”

“No Bastian I’m not finished, I am happily married…I have a wife…we are planning on having children…what happened last night was…out of character and I assure you it will never happen again”

“your Majesty I don’t recall you advancing on me”

“now Bastian…you don’t have to pretend because I am your king…I get it…you enjoyed it when I kissed you-”

“your Majesty! I assure you!-”

“Bastian, please, I was at fault, I shouldn’t have kissed you”

“I think you may have been a little more intoxicated than you think, your majesty…I assure you…you did not kiss me!”

“but Riley sa-” as soon as Liam realised what had happened, his face went bright red.

“god dammit Riley!…” he groaned

“Bastian…I’m sorry…could we continue this conversation on the way up to the apartment?”

“of course…after you.” Bastian smirked

As they headed up to the apartment Liam apologised to Bastian repeatedly, he explained to him what had happened, Bastian found it hilarious.

“wait so when I tried to tell you, you had something on your face-”

“yes…I thought you wanted a kiss” Liam chuckled as his face went red.

Once they reached the apartment, Bastian waited at the side of the door, whilst Liam walked in. Riley was sitting on the sofa, reading through some papers when Liam walked in. He stopped as soon as he seen her. When Riley heard the door open, she looked up to see him standing there with a smirk on his face.

“you!” he pointed at her.

“now Liam…” she said as she slowly got up from the sofa, putting the papers down on the table “just…take a deep breathe” she smirked then looked over towards the bedroom door.

“its not funny” Liam stated not moving a muscle

“I’m…just gonna go…” Riley bolted, jumping over the back of the sofa on her way towards the bedroom, with Liam hot on her tail…

“Riley rhys I swear to god…when I catch you!” he called running after her.

Liam chased Riley into the bedroom, laughing as they went.

“I cant believe you did that!” he smirked as he stood on one side of the bed and she stood on the other.

“I had some food from breakfast on my mouth before i went into the meeting, he tried to tell me by pointing to his lips…I THOUGHT HE WANTED A KISS!!!”

“I CAN’T…I’M GONNA GET A STITCH” Riley laughed hysterically.

“I can’t believe you did that” he laughed

“I had to…you couldn’t remember…of course I was going to get a little fun out of it.”

“you are so lucky I love you…no one else would get away with embarrassing a king like that” he smirked

“aww it’s because you love me so very much…”

“yes it is…but I think I owe you some payback” Liam slowly made his way around to Riley.

“come here sweetie” Liam smirked

“no…” she laughed

“awe c’mon…come here…” he laughed as he stepped closer to her

“Liam rhys…I am not stupid…”

“oh Riley…my sweet, sweet Riley”

Riley smirked as she stood with her back to the bed. Liam stepped closer to her, as he went to take one final step, Riley quickly climbed onto the bed, as she went to head for the door, Liam gently grabbed her feet. As she fell down on to the mattress laughing, she turned over to face him as he leaned himself over top of her, holding himself up.

“and what are you doing?” she smirked with one of her eyebrows raised and a smirk on her face.

“I’m just giving my wife what she deserves” he chuckled as he leaned down, pressing his lips against Riley's.

“why don't we get started on that family we talking about?“ liam whispered

“I would love that“

Just a short while later the two lay side by side under the duvet.

“and that…my dear husband…is all I wanted” Riley laughed as she cuddled into his chest.

If You like it, give it a wee Reblog <3

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

Prompt: "I’m really feverish and I haven’t noticed you and this sneeze just won’t come out and I’m pulling the most ridiculous build up you’ve ever seen and shit now I’ve noticed you this is fucking awkward sorry" (I can imagine this with Klance and them being roommates or somthing. Lance coming home a finding Keith in miserable sneezy limbo and Lance just teasing him about it until he decides to help him out.)

(I lowkey love when posts I make come back to me omg!!! Also this is my first time ever writing voltron au!! I’ve always written canon verse!! So forgive me, and I have no time, so here’s a ficlet!Also great timing bc Keith’s vlog has me dead tbh)

Keith had a lot of pride.

He was fairly confident in his abilities, he had worked hard for them, and he was happy with the outcome. There were a few things about himself that he held dearly to his heart and was determined to not let them go, and with good reason. Some things, however, were slightly irrational.

Keith held pride for the fact that without fail he would always miss and avoid the annoying bout of sickness that seemed to plague everyone in school for the first while back. The plague skipped over Keith religiously every year. He’d missed it on his  first day on his last year in middle school, he’d missed it on his freshman year of high school, and he had done so on his first day of college.

He would never admit it, but deep down he knew how ridiculous this was. It was something Keith wasn’t embarrassed to show off, and boasted about constantly whenever it came up in conversation. Shiro and Lance were very close to jamming their ears out every year, without a fail, with how much Keith prided himself in this meticulous thing.

But Karma was a bitch.

He had supposed his constant teasing of Lance since they met their first day of high school finally came back to haunt him. Keith wouldn’t admit it, but he kinda deserved it.

He went through a denial to begin with, telling himself he’d just suddenly developed some allergy, and that was why he had woken up sneezing all over the place. It had left him breathless, monstrous sneezing ripping out of his throat, echoing off the thin walls of his and Lance’s dorm room.

He was a mess. Hair all over the place, sticking up in places where it shouldn’t, horribly reddened and chapped nose and the most bloodshot eyes he’d ever had. Keith was just glad Lance had a morning class that day, and that Keith didn’t have any classes until 4:30 later that day.

Keith coughed harshly, dragging himself out of bed and staggering over to Lance’s part of the room and grabbing the box of tissues he always kept on his bedside table. He resented the fact he needed them, and he was still kind of in denial. He was not sick. Not at all.

Keith blew his nose furiously into the tissue, hating the way the tissue felt soggy and all sorts of disgusting afterwards. He loathed it, and wished the cold virus had fucked off and gone to someone else. The cold virus didn’t look too bad on Lance, but the little shit never looked bad. Keith blushed furiously as he caught himself in his thoughts. He finished his trail of thoughts with the conclusion that it was not a good look on him.

Once he finished, he felt a little lightheaded and woozy. The world spun slightly, and everything in the universe was telling him to sit still and wait for it to steady again, but he was Keith, and everything was a challenge.

Keith forced himself to stand up, but the moment he did he was hit by a tidal wave of nausea that hit him in the gut, and an astounding shot of pain induced tremors throughout his head. The intense pain caused his knees to buckle, and Keith tried to find something to hold onto but the attempt was futile, because  he was tipping over and collapsing onto the floor.

“Oh for fucks sake,” Keith hissed to himself, trying to pick up his heavy and weak bones from the floor but to no avail. Keith coughed, the sound resonating from his chest as a wave of pain rang through his chest as he coughed. His chest ached horribly against the floor as he coughed.

Keith somehow managed to drag his heavy body up, only for an insistent tickling in his nose to make his breath hitch wildly. He snapped forward with a harsh, unrestrained sneeze that sprayed Lance’s bed, the force so strong he toppled over onto the bed.

“..Not sick..” He mumbled to himself, wanting to get off the bed and be productive to prove it to himself, but Lance’s bed was so soft and welcoming. His sheets were pleasantly crisp and cool, perfectly made. His pillow smelt of him, that flowery scent of his shampoo, the clean scent of his hand cream and moisturiser. So perfectly Lance that Keith was melting into it.

Keith hugged the pillow, letting its warmth engulf him into a heaven of softness. The thought of Lance made him go a deeper shade of pink, and thinking about him lifted his heavy head towards a better place filled with singing birds and swaying trees.

Then he was lulled back to sleep.

Keith woke a bit later, not quite knowing when, he’d lost his sense of time, to an annoying tickle in his nose. His chest heaved as his body began to succumb to the sneeze, breath hitching as his nostrils flared irritably. Keith tried to stubbornly scrub vigorously at his nose, still in denial of the state he was in.

But to no avail, his body was winning over him, as much as Keith hated to admit it. He managed to lift himself up with his elbows, gasping for air until he took one shaky inhale and fell into an intense sneezing fit that left him breathless.

Keith let out monstrous sneeze that sprayed across Lance’s bed, a brief, very short moment of clarity and relief coming to him before another round of intense prickling flooded his sinuses. Immediately he launched into yet another harsh and powerful sneeze that doubled him over.

Keith managed to clasp his two hands over his reddened face, feeling his nose tremble as it built up for another round of harsh sneezes. His body was racked by the new wave of sneezes, by the force of it. He kept sneezing, feeling a bit tired and couldn’t hold his hands to his face as they shook too much and went into another uncovered fit.

He felt absolutely miserable, his nose running and eyes red with irritated tears. All he could really concentrate on was the sound of his intense sneezing and the ticklish feeling in his sinuses. Everything else faded. Keith geared up for his next sneeze, but was left hanging in an awfully unsatisfying crescendo that had been building up to this very moment, the peak of the music, but it never came.

And just a little bit ago Keith would have done anything to deny his illness, but now more than anything Keith just wanted it to happen. He just needed to get this sneeze out, and he looked plain ridiculous, looking up with one side of his nose scrunches up and twitching with anticipation, his breath continuing to hitch as itchy tears threatened to fall from his irritated eyes.

“..What the fuck?” Lance gaped.

“N..n..” Keith tries to respond, but he can’t speak, too preoccupied with this tortuous sneezy limbo and the absolute shame flooding him. He doesn’t want to admit the truth, it’s deflating his pride way too much, which is so ridiculous, he knows that, but he can’t help how pathetic he feels for being sick.

“I’m uh..uh..tryi..trying to..sn..sn!!” Keith tried to make out through his hitchy, dazed voice, beginning to fan at his face desperately.

A victorious smirk crept onto Lance’s face. He crossed his arms and flashed him a grin, suddenly straightening in pride and amusement.

“So, you’re sick, huh?” Lance taunted playfully, his eyes gleaming with a mischievous light.

“No !!..im…not!” Keith protested breathily.

“Hmm,” Lance chuckles, “sure thing, Jan.”

“I just..need to..” Keith tried his best to speak, but was still overtaken by the insistent, incoming sneeze that just wouldn’t come out.

“Well well well, Keith fucking Kogane has finally caught the Fresher’s Flu. A bit late, sure, but it’s happened!” Lance exclaimed with gusto, extremely pleased with himself.

Keith could only squint as he tried to get the sneeze out of his system, nostrils flaring in a manner he believed to be horrendous and embarrassing.

“Now you’re in this sneezy limbo, like I have every single year on the first day, and now you have to suffer through it as a punishment for your relentless teasing! Karma truly is a bitch, ain’t she, Kogane?” Lance giggled, slightly bouncing from his excitement.

Lance kept rambling about his amusement, but Keith couldn’t concentrate on him as the intense tickling in his sinuses was way too much anyway. This limbo was too much, and Keith couldn’t bare one more second of it. The sneeze was right there, just at the end of the floodgates, waiting for the key to turn and unlock so it could just release.

Keith grew impatient, and he snapped.

“Lance, I’m sick! J..just shut up and help me sneeze!”

Lance grinned with victory and nodded, “Alright, sick boy!”

Lance approached Keith and tapped him on the nose, “Boop!~”

Keith finally took in a shaky inhale and when the sneeze finally came out of the floodgates, Keith had never felt more satisfied and complete in his life.

“Bless you!” Lance offered as he passed Keith a tissue to blow his nose with.

“Now, will you let me take care of you?” Lance asked gently, the softest smile framing his face.

Keith blushed hard, “W-what?”

“..I mean..you have to be sitting on my bed for a reason, Keith,” Lance stated, a little awkwardly.

Keith turned a deeper shade of red as he was hit by the sudden realisation of what he had just been doing.

“U-uh..I-I can explain–”

Lance could only smile softly, “You..don’t have to say anything. Just..let me take care of you?”

Keith had a lot of pride. It took over him sometimes, and it stopped him from doing many things, and often held him back from experiences. But somehow against all odds Keith was able to put it aside. For Lance.

He nodded shyly, as Lance climbed onto bed with him and wrapped his warm body around Keith’s shivering frame. Lance draped the blanket over the both of them, running his hands through Keith’s hair soothingly. Everything about Keith’s DNA would’ve made this moment awkward, but something felt so right. So in place.

“Are you really here, or am I dreaming..I can’t tell dreams from truth…” Lance sang softly, his lyrical tenor voice so sweet and comforting to his ears, lulling him into a peaceful rest.

Fresher’s Flu wasn’t as bad as Keith had anticipated, with Lance by his side. Lance took care of him well, so well that Keith wondered why he was so against the idea of getting sick when he had Lance to be there for him. It was almost like he had missed out.

And while Lance complained three days later when he woke up sneezing, he did not regret a thing.

[briteboy]

MORE ASKS I’VE BEEN IGNORING!!!!!!!

GET ‘EM WHILE THEY’RE HOT

P.S. ALL OF U WHO SENT ME THE CHAIN THINGY ILYSOMUCH 

Why is her step-douche such a foken piece of shit? omg i hate him

some mysteries are never meant to be explained tbh. why is he so ugly and evil? who wronged him? but also who cares he’s in jail forever now good riddance ugly

I know this is probably really bad, but after I saw the newest molly posts, I thought of that video where the little girl is yelling "MISS KEISHA, MISS KEISHA, oh my fukin gosh she fukin dead"

OMFGFD I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THAT VIDEO WAS SO I JUST WATCHED IT AND I’M LAUGHIN

i don’t blame u i bet when it happens i’m gonna be like “u know she ded”

(To the previous anon) i agree with you so, so much! In Poland, these dumbass politicians are letting shooting pregnant bisons (?? Im not sure how they're called) become legal. Like BITCH WHAT. Can you imagine??? A fucking pregnant lil' cow getting shot????? I feel Molly's pain on an emotional level rn (sorry if this is too nsfw, just needed to get that outta my system...)

i think this was in response to someone saying that hurting pregnant women is one of the worst crimes but um WTF shooting animals at all makes me itchy but pregnant ones..............nah that’s......nah

it’s ok get it outta ur system i’m here 4 u

the first thing I check in the morning is your account.... you have me whipped! ;|

OMG WHA LMAO REALLY that’s wild. i feel like i’m the only one who looks at my page which is dumb but like idk i still feel like a little kid that no one cares about lmao. but then you guys exist and amaze me with your responsiveness every day and i just ;____________; ily all

hi Sunny. first of all i'm gonna say i love your story and your editing style so much! your blog is goals like literally. i need an advice if you don't mind. you always find such amazing angles for your pictures while mine are so boring. any tips or tricks you can share?

HI thank you so much ;-; sooooo i’ve been thinking about this question the past couple of times i went in game, trying to figure out how to describe how i take pictures. for one thing i live in tab mode lmao. meaning you press the tab button on your keyboard to go into camera mode and get all these sexy angles and super zoom and stufffff. i almost always zoom in super far idk why. so there’s one tip. i honestly just play around with going up and down with the q and e keys (i think?) until i find angles i like. i take a lottttt of pictures with so many different angles just so i have a lot to choose from. basically i try to focus on different things in each picture in order to get a mix of the most diverse and dynamic shots possible. you just need to experiment and get creative. i know that’s the most vague advice ever but really just try a new angle that you’ve never considered before and i bet you’ll get cool results. an interesting setting is also the biggest factor, because certain objects and their placements will give you interesting results. 

i honestly want to print out your reaction pic to that one post and just hang it on my wall, put it in my heart locket necklace, stamp it on people's faces, start an email thread with it. i love it.

an add on to the last ask i sent about your reaction pic. i've been looking at it religiously since it was posted, and i dont regret a minute of it. LMAO I'LL STOP NOW.

SAKJDLJKGKSDAF STOPPPP LMAOOO i looked so ugly but that was my pure unadulterated reaction to that question and i trust you all to not judge my ugliness and instead share this reaction with me. i’m glad u liked it that much, i just printed it out and i’m cutting it into a small heart to put inside ur locket ok

everytime i hear cigarette daydreams by cage the elephant i think of a serious case of the novembers like its so fitting and then i get all emo when i listen to it lmao rip

OMMMMGGGGGGG YESSSSS how have i never made that connection before honestly. cage the elephant is one of my faves and i’ve seen them perform twice actually!! i’m watching the music vid for that song now and even that reminds me of my story ;-; i cry

thank you for sending this, and also i cry @ the fact that you used the actual title *dies* now this song is gonna make me emo til the end of time thx

i might sound like some crazy stalker fan but i just want to say you are so freakin awesome and nice and funny and cute and (i can go on forever) so caring! i love your blog so much and all the hard work and care you put into all your posts and followers. thanks for making my day and making me smile so much. you have no clue how much i look forward to seeing your posts and your hilarious hashtags and answers from asks and AMAZING story posts. im sorry i just wanted to let you know ur awesome ily

OFMG WHAT!!!!!! I AM ONLY AN EEL!!!!!! but no you don’t sound like a crazy stalker, i actually love this, you’re too sweet, thank you ;-; i’m just blushin so much reading this omg. YOU EVEN LIKE MY TAGS WOW that’s true love. ily ;-; <333

how do you get your sims' facial expressions to line up with your scenes? I feel like my sims' faces are never right :(

tbh i just use a lot of the same neutral poses...my go-to’s are @helgatisha‘s poses lol. they’re the easiest to work with when i do just plain talking scenes, and often i tweak my sims’ eyebrows and mouths with the liquify tool if i want them to look a bit more concerned, sad, mad, happy, etc., it works like a charm!! i also tend to play around with angles, you’d be surprised how much a different angle can enhance a scene.

Hey smol bean, I'm sent you an ask and now I feel bad that it probably made you feel anxious because you didn't answer it. It was the one about you not liking my posts, I have anxiety too so I'm sorry If I made you feel sad. I think I'm just looking for validation from people I look upto you get me? Anyway sorry again, don't worry about it! Love you!

hiya bb, i know you saw my answer to your original post (and i’m sorry it got some negative attention, i didn’t mean for that to happen by any means) anyway don’t sweat it, and i really appreciate this follow-up message. you didn’t make me feel sad, i just wanna know what i can do. it’s just a hard question y’know. i understand what you mean, i think everyone wants validation to some degree. tbh you can just come off anon and message me, i promise it’s not as nerve-wracking as it seems! ily

How did you make Santi's tattoos? I want some like that for my Sims but idk how to do it

boop

I HAVE A FEELING THAT MOLLY IS GOING TO DIE DURING THE BIRTH OF THE BEAN OR IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH HER STEPFATHER FINDING OUT ABOUT THE BEAN

WELP U WERE RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING

how did you make your characters page on your blog like that?

uoohhh like what?? i used this theme (monolog) if that’s what you mean aheh. here’s a guide on how to use custom page themes

okay so THIS IS MY THEORY: they might keep the baby and molly might actually carry it to full term, but then the kid dies in childbirth and either molly also dies or maybe kills herself or gets killed later? or maybe she's still alive but just won't speak to santi anymore cause she like can't look him in the eye after all of that or idk?? since ppl were sending theories i wanted to add mine lmao. another possible theory is that the stepdad finds out and kills her but thats TOO DARK omg

TOO DARK U SAY...WELL!!! it’s not AS dark as you guessed but only marginally

If Molly turns out to be alive and raising their kid alone (though from what I'm seeing in response to most questions I think that may not be the route) am I allowed to slap Santi (unless Molly didn't give him the option to help) because raising a child alone is not easy I've watched my mom do it for years.

YEAH i would give you permission to slap him lmao he would be a grade A piece o’ shit if that were the case. i would never ever write that tho because santi does own up to his actions if they’re that detrimental. his altruistic nature, no matter how backwards, would never allow him to do that.

There will be complication with the abortion so she will not be able to carry a baby anymore and she's going to kill herself OR her step dad is going to find out and he'll beat her to death. And in both situation Santi his blaming himself because he wasn't there at the right time... Okay I really really hope I'm wrong now !

I don't even follow your story very closely but every time I see your posts my heart hurts.

OMFG...that’s how u know the pain is real

but like wow my stuff is really so visceral that even my apathetic followers can feel the hurt...that’s real...that’s real my guy

omg!! you should 100% play or at least watch a playthrough of life is strange! legit the best game ever made, its so beautiful. the storyline kills you a thousand times over (much like your beautiful story) <3333

yaaaa i’ve heard lots of good things about it!! my bf played it actually, maybe he’ll revisit it again someday and i’ll watch him do it (i’m only a fan of video games if i can watch them like a movie lmao) thank you btw <3

I am shook and I worship you and your story and you are amazing WOW BYE

WORSHIP LMAO WHAT!!! PLS I AM UNDESERVING...ily tho don’t worship false gods

Do you let Molly and the younger versions of your characters frolic around your main save or do they have a separate one?

UM YES LMAO because i didn’t even know you could have separate saves until after i started the flashbacks lmao i’m...a noob. i don’t want separate saves anyway because 1) it’s too much of a hassle switching back and forth and 2) it gets too confusing for me and i’d be afraid of overwriting one save with another and NOPE too much anxiety for that soooo yeah there’s three santis in my game: child, teen and adult lmfao (fun fact: teen santi’s name is literally just Lil Santi)

I made it to my senior year with 6 A's and 1 B ... Be proud of me too? 😂 Lmao I told this to people and some of them were just like .. okay cool?! LMAO it's so funny but also kinda sad

I AM PROUD OF YOU TOO!!!!!!!!! my smart childrens

“okay cool” UM PLEASE that’s a feat...at my school if you got an A in a class in senior year you were allowed to be exempt from the final. so yeah that rules. ily

[hdawg1995]

DnD Antics: “Man up and be a farther, ZACK!”

before rebegin Ryan (frost crystal) changed his name to Sam recently so if you’ve been following our antics for a while know that Frost Crystal is played by Sam. carry on~

we leave the earthen sanctum as it is collapsing. Envoy’s wing is crippled and the Monk tried to save her but got his arm smashed by falling rocks. the everything is crumbling and our witcher almost dies so many times!

DM: roll reflex. elizander: *rolls* DM: okay you trip but flow into a summer salt so you’re still running. elizander: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

everyone gets out BUT Zack!

me: Bardic knowledge! DM: you sense that someone is in trouble. me: I cast fish face folly! DM: odds or evens? me: eeevens? ryan: Odds just to be evil. me: *rolls 17* ryan: ODDS! DM: you cast FishFace’s folly. there is now a moose standing before you. Envoy: *silently screaming* DM: hes eating walnuts. he was gonna get attacked by a bear. me: oh okay. i roll to pet the moose. Envoy: *nat20* me: OF COURSE SHE WOULD! Ryan: this is envoy’s attention span: we are in danger! save the frie- OMG A MOOOSE!

there is now a moose named Oscar that hangs around the pokeball.

*WARNING. THE FOLLOWING IS A DESCRIPTION OF WHAT WE HAD TO DO TO SAVE ZACK. ITS GONNA GET GRAPHIC PRETTY FAST.* 

Zack was in the mouth of the cave but it was collapsing. Tim was rolling horribly and fishface folly was our best bet but it failed so we went with the ranger’s idea: a arrow with a rope tied to it. the original plan was to shot the arrow and hit a leg or something fleshy so it wouldn’t be so bad and would be easier to heal. unfortunately Tim wanted to try and grab the arrow with his good hand. im pretty sure you know where this is going.... the reflex wasn’t high enough so the arrow shoots threw Zacks hand- and into his and out his elbow. his bone is splintered in the process but he can still grab firmly onto the rope. Spine (in his sadistic glee) helps Valekimin pull on the rope to get Zack out of the still collapsing cave. hes at 5 health and is confirmed for worst rope burn/road rash in the history of ever. it was taking too long how ever and Zack was bleeding out, so the ranger has her bear yank on the rope. this cause the arrow to go half way back into Zack’s arm.  once hes out the ranger (in a very bad case of miss wording) yanks the rope and arrow out of his arm, knocking him out. the necromancer boops him on the nose to give him 10 false life but he goes out again when we do the math for the rope burn ON THE INSIDE OF HIS ARM and the bleeding hes doing so the necromancer heals him again. why am i including this you ask?

lindsy: i give the bloody, gory bits of the rope to Rose. Rose: *takes the rope. licks it.* Spine:....do you like it??? Rose: >_>.....>u>....*starts pealing the gore off very slowly* Tim: *horrified into going unconscious AGAIN.*

*OKAY YOU’RE GOOD!*

we all go running off in our own ways to avoid a land slide (Envoy Nazul and Zack are in the pokeball, Spine blink daggers away, Vale flies with her companions, Frost Crystal plan shifts and Elizander....)

DM: roll reflex. coolie: *rolls* DM: you land on your hands and spring into several back flips before righting yourself. you keep running. elizander: FUCK YOU GUUUUUYYYYSSSS! (we actidently left him behind....>_>)

so alicaria goes to the plan where all the deitys are and finds no one there so she goes back to the normal plain HOW EVER....

Vale and Spine try to tree teleport and end up in Frank’s forest.

vale: *casts speak with plants* Frank? hello? Frank: Sup bruh? Ryan: *facepalm* hes a teenager now....

Vale has to go kill a evil yant to prove her worth to her qticotal and spine goes with to watch.

*vale and evil radio active yant fighting* Ryan: is there such thing a necrotic popcorn?

Alicaria brings everyone to the steam punk gnome village. its very bad. Envoy wants to stay and help but she needs to go visit Frank and do some things so they tree-port there. once there, Envoy does a song and dance of prayer to the moose asking for advice. she is told to return to the gnome city and help the people there, and that there is a meeting with all the deities at the moment.

Envoy: okay. i’m going to get some wood for a personal project and then head back to cogsworth! me: *nat 1 on finding some wood* Envoy: *picks up stick* this should be enough! Elizander: Envoy that stick isn’t enough for what ever project you’re doing. Envoy: and how would YOU know me I-Don’t-Have-WoodWorking? elizander: what are you making...? Envoy: rings. elizander: that stick would make 1/3 of a ring, Envoy....

Elizander and alicaria look for a log for Envoy and Alicaria nat 1s.

DM: you turn into a tree. you are comfortable as a tree. its very nice. Envoy: *flies up and sits in the Alicaria tree* Issac shelab and the griffion: *same* Elizander: come on alicaria! we need to go! Envoy: you ARE my only way of getting back to the steam punk city... Sam:.....im a tree :D Alicaria: *cats vines. lifts elizander up* coolie: PUT ME DOWN! Sam: IM A TREE MOTHER FUCKER! :D

evenutally Envoy (who can’t fly, is too far away to ride the yak or teleport) decides to ask Frank the blue flying moose tree for some help.

Frank: sup bruh. Envoy: Sup man.  Frank: wut ya need? Envoy: my ride is kinda tree right now. shes chillin so i ain’t gonna throw off her grove, but i promised the BFM id help out at cogworth. any ideas on how to get me there? Frank: nah bruh...sorry. Envoy: thats alright homie *pat the tree* Frank: wait. hang on i have an idea. *summons tree spirit* yo homes help her out. Spirit: why doesn’t she just fly? Envoy: this ones broken *pats wing* Spirit: *fixes it* eh... still got a job to do.

the spirit lifts Envoy high into the air and we all think shes gonna get thrown. she gets planted into the ground instead and she is sent flying through roots in the ground. still fun! 

DM: you stop. everything is dark. Envoy: *remembering everything Spine taught her about being buried alive, she takes some dirt and drops it to find where ‘up’ is* (this is funny cause it took Spine 12 tries to figure out what direction UP was when he too was shot underground and was trying to dig out)

Envoy pops out of the ground and, with no best friend necromancers to hurt with her ultra awesome flute that heals people, she spends the next 24 hours healing wounds and lifting spirits with her music. mean while...

Envoy: eli- elizander: Envoy. Envoy: i can’t get her to let you go- Elixander: EN-Voooy. Envoy: and i promised the blue flying moose i would help- Elizander: EN. VOY. Envoy: IGattaGoImSorryBye Elizander: DONT LEAVE ME HERE ENVOY! *envoy gets planted* Elizander: ENVOY!....ENVOY DONT LEAVE!....EEENNNVVVOOOYY! Alicaria: do you want up? Elizander: fuck you do you want to play chess???

Elizander plays chess and alicaria is a shore loser. she puts him on frank.

eventually Zack comes out the pokeball with the yak and he tries to help Eliznder but drops him. Eli hangs upside down thanks to the vines alicaria cast to catch him and the Yak boops him about with her snout before eating the vines.

Elizander: i want to go home... Shiba: *bumps the witcher* Elizander: oh? you... you want me to get on? okay. *gets on the yak* are you gonna take me to Cogsworth or- Shiba: *starts to buck him around, rodeo style. this is how she has fun*

Vale kills the thing and Spine takes the remains into his necropolis so he has a new friend.

when we FINALLY get everyone back together, Envoy has a surprise for everyone! While healing the gnomes non stop and keeping spirits high, the gnomes gave her the title “The Healer” (she gets a +10 to heal checks now) and as a thanks for her work, they gave her a air ship.

Tim: so wait- me: I HAVE A AIR SHIP YALL! WOOT WOOT! Ryan: wait JUST her??? DM: YES JUST HER! shes the only one that was helping the city. its HERS.

the wrecking crew has a air ship now. its piloted by flick!

Envoy got some wood along the way and after we fix Zack and stuff and blah im getting tired LETS GET TO THAT TITLE, SHALL WE?

so while Nazul was a baby, Zack decided to be his dad since Slyvia was bent on being his mom. adopting the assassin was pretty nice, and Zack even continued to refier to Nazul as his son when we fixed him. (this is hella sweet cause Nazul never had a mom or dad so this is like major awesome for him).

so what does our grateful neutral evil Assassin ghost boy do? WHY GO BACK TO THE DWARTH CITY AND BUY DRINKS FOR EVERYONE WITH ZACK’S MONEY AND NAME!

he gets caught at first. Drawth: arn’t you that prick that stole everyone’s money while the trolls were attacking? Nazul: are you sure it wasn’t the TROLLS who stole your money? DM: Roll Bluff. Nazul: *Nat 20 cause when DOESNT this group get nat 20s???* Drawth: YOU’RE RIGHT! DAMN TROLLS!

he gets up to alot of mischief. he also turns all the dwarths racist towards gnomes. eventually he gets caught caught and is sent to the king.

King: you bought the town ale with your farther’s money, sent the lot into a drunkin rampage resulting in many citizens breaking into the royal whine cellar, you cheated two times in the pits- Nazul: i was having too much fun. (he killed a orger, a 4 armed gorllia, and a lizard person. he broke the rules cause his rune brought him back to life 2 times) king: -and all this in your farther’s name. how do you think he will react to this? king: *teleports Zack there* this your son?

the result is Zack owes the drawths 100,000,000 gold OR he can return the cane algres stole from them.

and at the moment hes buying cheese for master spliter so he can be level 20 with the rest of us.

SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!