#also im totally in denial about the ending

[modjisan]

shopping

[lowkeyren]

in which : alhaitham speaks to you in 5 different languages, unaware that you understand every word he says.

wc 7.3k (pls give it a chance lol), academic rivals to lovers, unrequited hate, attempt at humor, college au, denial + pinning.. crazy ik, he falls first (and harder), tw stalking by a drunkard, a genius on paper but a total dumbass when it comes to crushes, lil smau at the end!, ft. sumeru gang. art by @/gamegatchihaja on x.

ps. translations ay nasa maliliit na titik, katulad neto!!

ps. translations will be in small letters, like this!!

PROLOGUE: GOD I HATE THIS GUY! (DOES HE THINK IM STUPID?)

the semester is nearing its conclusion, and the imminent approach of finals marks the most critical period of the year; students rush through the halls, clutching their notes and textbooks like lifelines, while you pour every ounce of effort into your studies —not just for your grades, but also to surpass a certain arrogant scholar. 

alhaitham. 

the name tastes like spoiled milk on your tongue, a sour reminder of all the times he’s bested you, even if it’s just by a small margin, leaving you dumbfounded when the difference between your marks during the last exam was a mere 1%. 

you were groveling in front of your professor, “please, just round the marks up?” you could practically feel your dignity slipping away. and the worst part? you were so desperate that you started mentally calculating how many odd jobs you’d be willing to do just to sweeten the deal. 

(maybe you’ll help organize the office, run around the campus to buy him drinks every day, or even wipe down the windows of his car…)

disclaimer: he ultimately said no, but he did compliment your impeccable taste in coffee so, a win is a win? 

anyhow, alhaitham’s nonchalance only adds to your frustration, especially when he switches to a different language mid-conversation. it feels like he’s rubbing salt in your wounds, why of course you can understand him perfectly —after all, you aren’t majoring in linguistics for no reason, plus he's not the only one who’s fluent in multiple languages.

though you keep that to yourself, perhaps because the things he says in those languages, which he assumes you don’t understand, are far from innocent, unknowingly letting you have a glimpse into his true feelings. 

ACT I: WHOLEHEARTEDLY, I DETEST YOU. 

alhaitham would never fall in love —such irrational and illogical emotions held no value to him. 

that was what he always believed, but then he saw you. 

the way you laughed so unapologetically at cyno’s jokes, how you always stood firm by your beliefs, your refusal to compromise who you are; you were a breath of fresh air in a world that often felt stifling.

as much as he tries to act unfazed, he can't help the heat prickling his skin nor the way his composure falters just slightly in your presence. and when his heart raced for the first time in what felt like forever, he knew —he was completely, utterly screwed.

(“fix me, kaveh.” / “hah. who do you think i am, ‘y/n’?”)

when kaveh told him that he just had a simple “crush”, he nearly rolled his eyes so hard he thought they might get stuck there permanently.)

likewise, this ugly arrogant handsome bastard here, is one you’ll never fall in love with. 

he’s infuriating, completely insufferable, and yet there’s something about him, something hidden beneath that arrogance, that draws you in. the idea that you could ever fall for someone like him seems laughable, impossible even. he's exactly the kind of person you should avoid and you know better than to be charmed by someone like him. yet, there's that nagging feeling, deep down, that perhaps you’re not as immune to him as you think.

by some stroke of luck, you’re in the same major, same year, and even enrolled in the same lecture periods, which means you end up in the same place at the same time more often than not.

but you can’t deny that, in some twisted way, you admire him. his intellect is beyond impressive, even if it annoys you to admit it. so surely, in his eyes, you’re still inferior, and you often wonder if he even considers your ideas as worthy of attention.

(they are.)

ACT II: YOUR WATCHFUL EYES, I CAN’T IGNORE.

your pen glides across the pages as you jot down notes, fully absorbed in your studies, barely registering the faint sound of distant chatter.

unbeknownst to you, a group of students has gathered just outside the lecture hall, peeking in from the door with curious, amused expressions. they’re clearly there for you, exchanging glances and murmurs, waiting for the moment you step outside.

you don’t notice, but alhaitham, seated a few feet away, certainly does.

his eyes narrow slightly as he takes in the scene. he doesn’t say anything at first, but his jaw clenches ever so subtly. as you begin to pack up, you glance up to find him standing in front of you, his tall figure effectively blocking the group outside’s direct line of sight to you.

with a discreet glance over his shoulder, he shoots them a cold, unmistakable glare. they visibly shudder, seemingly getting the message as they awkwardly shuffle away. 

“what was that about?”

alhaitham leans against your desk, “nothing important,” his tone is dismissive, laced with irritation, his gaze still fixed on the now-empty doorway. 

you narrow your eyes, unimpressed. “really? you just scared them off for no reason?”

“just getting rid of some… distractions,” he says casually, turning his attention back towards you. you raise an eyebrow, clearly not believing his words. “distractions? they weren’t bothering me.” 

his expression remains impassive, “khi họ cứ để ý đến em như vậy… em thấy không phiền, còn tôi thì có.”

“seeing them constantly paying attention to you… you're not bothered by it, but i am.”

“bởi vì cái cách mà em chú tâm hoàn toàn vào một việc gì đó…  nó quyến rũ vô cùng.”

because the way you completely focus on something… is truly mesmerising.

you blink, feeling a momentary flush of confusion and surprise at the words slipping from his mouth. did he just—? but before you can fully process it, he continues.

“vậy nên tôi cũng không thể trách họ khi họ muốn nhìn em gần và lâu hơn được.”

so i don’t blame them when they want to look at you closer and longer.

his words linger in the air, a moment passes before it clicks —he doesn’t think you understand. that’s why he’s speaking so… freely; letting slip things he’d never say outright in a language you both speak fluently.

“nhưng mà… chắc không ai trong số bọn họ có thể sánh ngang với tôi, em nhỉ?”

but… none of them can compare to me, right?

your chest tightens as a surge of warmth courses through you. 

his detached attitude only fuels your irritation. but there’s also a certain satisfaction in knowing something he doesn’t: you’ve understood every single word he’s said.

feigning ignorance, you raise an eyebrow, meeting his gaze with what you hope is a neutral expression. "what are you going on about?" you ask.

his expression remains as stoic as ever, not a single crack in his mask. he simply shrugs, eyes still on you, "just telling you to focus more.”

your grip on the pen tightens, there's a part of you that wants to wipe that smug look off his face, to show him you're not as clueless as he assumes. but not yet —you’re curious to see just how far he’s willing to push.

"right," you mutter under your breath, tapping the pen against your notebook. "focus. got it."

he leans down slightly, one arm resting on the back of your chair while the other presses against the table, effectively caging you in.

"you're wasting time, finals are coming up." he takes a brief pause before continuing, "i wish you the best of luck, you’ll need it.”

your eyes snap up to him in a glare, “don’t you have somewhere to be?" you bite back.

alhaitham straightens, giving you a final glance before turning towards the door. “naturally, i have studying to do.”

“bởi vì tôi sẽ chứng minh cho em thấy rằng chỉ có tôi mới xứng tầm làm đối thủ học thuật của em, không một ai khác.”

because i will prove to you that only i am worthy of being your rival, no one else.

why did he frame it as if it’s a privilege only he can claim? or is he trying to… flatter you?!

you shake your head, no way, that’s ridiculous. finals are coming up, there’s no time to dwell on whatever mind games he’s playing. though if the almighty alhaitham wants a rival, then you’ll show him exactly what it means to stand at the pinnacle.

ACT III: IN MY DREAMS, I SCORED HIGHER THAN YOU.

you’re tired, the kind of tired that seeps deep into your bones. every blink stretches longer than the last and you find it increasingly difficult to focus on the words in front of you. stifling a yawn, you feel the pull of sleep tugging at you, whispering sweet promises of rest.

there’s still time till your next class.

maybe you'll take a moment to close your eyes, just for a few seconds…

did you not get enough sleep last night, or did you stay up late studying again? alhaitham watches silently from across the room, his eyes narrowing as your head droops lower, your exhaustion becoming painfully obvious with each passing second. his gaze lingers on the way your pen pauses mid-sentence, the line on your notebook trailing off as your hand grows heavy.

he pushes himself up from his seat, and approaches your desk; he notices the sunlight streaming through the window, harsh and unrelenting, hitting right over the table where you’re sitting. he looks at you —eyes closed, with the faintest crease of discomfort on your brow.

without a word, he reaches out and slips the pen from your grip, the slight shift causing your fingers to twitch, but you don’t wake. 

for a fleeting second, he considers waking you. but then, as you shift again, settling more comfortably into your chair, he decides against it. what good would that do, anyway? you’d probably just brush him off and keep going until you collapse from sheer fatigue. typical.

instead, he adjusts his stance slightly, positioning himself just right to make sure the sunlight is fully blocked from your face, casting you in a cool shadow. 

you mumble something incoherent, and he can’t help but roll his eyes at your state. did you really think burning yourself out like this would help you focus?

“stubborn,” he mutters under his breath. 

you're always like this, pushing yourself past your limits, and while part of him respects your determination to outdo him, he won’t allow it to come at the expense of your health.

you stir from your slumber, lifting your head, your gaze lands on a familiar figure standing to the side of your table. his back turned, facing the sunlight that streams in from the window. 

alhaitham. 

he’s close, so close that his broad shoulders completely block out the sunlight from the window. the sight sends a rush of confusion through your already sleep-addled mind. did he… stand there the whole time? why? 

you shift slightly in your seat, your movement catching his attention. without turning, he speaks in that low, steady tone of his, “you’re awake.”

“alhaitham?” you murmur, your voice still thick with sleep.

he glances over his shoulder, just enough for you to catch a glimpse of the calm expression on his face. “you’ve been out for a while,” he comments, a hint of amusement in his voice. “i was starting to think you’d sleep through your next class.”

you rub the sleep from your eyes, “why didn’t you wake me up then?”

his shoulders shift slightly as he shrugs, still facing away from you. “you looked like you needed the rest. besides, it’s more entertaining to see how long you’d stay asleep.”

a flicker of annoyance courses through you as you roll your eyes, “oh, so you mean you care?”

he turns slightly, and you can see a hint of a smirk on his lips. “don’t read too much into it. i just prefer my competition functioning at their best.”

you wish you could roll your eyes harder because this man has an uncanny talent for grating on your nerves while somehow being insufferably charming at the same time.

“ah yes —because you need me to keep up with you,” you remark sarcastically.

“exactly.” you let out an exasperated sigh as you lean back in your chair. “you really think so highly of yourself, don’t you?”

“mushiro, kimi no koto o hijō ni takaku hyōka shiteiru yo.”

if anything, i think highly of you. 

your brows knit together in surprise, and you can’t help but scoff. “what was that? i didn't catch it.”

“i said i won’t go easy on you.” oh, the audacity. he’s lying again, and he knows it.

the corners of your mouth twitch in disbelief as you scrutinise his expression. there’s that familiar glimmer in his eyes, a spark of mischief that tells you he’s enjoying this too much.

“whatever,” you retort, crossing your arms defiantly. “not like i want you to anyway.”

despite your words, you can't deny that his actions earlier were surprisingly endearing. you wonder how long he intends to keep this up. perhaps it’s time you let him know.

“ii ne, kimi ga iraira shite iru toki wa kawaiikara.”

good, because you’re cute when you’re all riled up.

you feel a blush creep into your cheeks at his words, okay maybe you shouldn’t let him know. you instinctively look away, as if avoiding his gaze can help you regain your composure.

cute? what does he mean “cute”?! he thinks he can get away with calling you cute —well… well, there’s not much you can do about it, you’re not ready to confront him about this either.

the mere thought of asking him directly makes your stomach twist with a year’s worth of embarrassment. yet, as you try to refocus on the book in front of you, you find yourself biting your lip, struggling to suppress a smile that threatens to break free.

ACT IV: I WOKE UP TODAY, AND A DREAM CAME TRUE.

the hallway buzzes with excitement as students gather around the large announcement board, eager to see the results of their theses. you push through the crowd, heart pounding, the low hum of chatter filling your ears. 

when you reach the front, you quickly scan the list; the moment your eyes land on your name, your breath catches in your throat.

there it is, in bold red ink at the top of the board —a score higher than you’d ever hoped for, higher than his. and your name, on top of his.

alhaitham.

you glance over and spot him approaching the board, approaching you. his expression is, as always, unreadable. but you know him well enough by now to catch the slight pause in his movements, the brief moment where his eyes linger just a second too long on the board.

you try not to think too much about it as you collect your thesis, with alhaitham following closely behind, his fingers nearly grazing yours as you both sift through the stack of papers on the table.

you take in the glowing praise from your professor, each word making you feel like every all-nighter was worth it. you clutch the paper, resisting the urge to grin like an idiot. 

glancing sideways, you wait for him to say something, maybe some backhanded comment, but he remains silent. your eyes meet, and there’s a shift in his gaze as the usual sharpness in his eyes dulls ever so slightly, your smile lingering like the first light of dawn breaking through the night's embrace.

it’s subtle —just a flicker —but you catch how his gaze falters, softening, if only for a heartbeat. the edges of his stare blur, drawn to the warmth of your expression as though it’s something he hadn’t meant to witness, yet can’t look away from. 

at this moment,

"looks like i finally beat you," you say, not bothering to suppress the grin spreading across your face now.

he feels like

there’s no scowl, no sign of frustration —just the slightest raise of an eyebrow. “hmm. by a point.” he pauses, studying you for a second longer than necessary before returning his gaze to his paper. “enjoy it while it lasts.”

he's in heaven.

it’s as if he’s not bothered by the outcome at all. in fact, if anything, he seems... satisfied?

"hindi dapat ganito kalala ang epekto ng ngiti mo sa akin."

your smile shouldn't affect me this badly.

“—huh?” your mouth drops slightly open at his words; out of everything, you didn’t expect him to say that. it catches you off guard, making your heart race just a little faster. if you peer closely enough, you might catch a glimpse of the gentle arch of his lips, a ghost of a smile. 

the silence stretches on for a beat too long before he clears his throat and shifts his gaze away from you. “ang iyong ngiti ang pinakamagandang tanawin ng aking araw.”

your smile is the most beautiful sight of my day.

“what?” the word slips from your lips, barely a breath, a soft gasp that hangs in the air. it feels almost surreal and you wonder if you’ve misheard him.

each heartbeat thunders in your ears, a rhythm that matches the erratic flutter in your chest. why is he saying these things, what for in a different language…? there’s no way that he—

"—tulad mo na ang hinangad ko na ligawan, ngunit sa bawat ngiti mo, halip ay mas lalo akong nahulog para sayo."

—like you, who i wish to court, but with every smile, i instead found myself falling for you. 

your breath hitches as your heart stumbles, the implications of his words washing over you like a wave. a rush of heat floods your cheeks, “what… did you say?”

his shoulders stiffen, and there’s a subtle tension in the way his fingers curl against the paper he’s holding. “see you tomorrow, [name],” he mutters, his voice low but hurried, and before you know it, he’s already walking away.

two strange things happened today: 

1. you finally beat your sworn enemy!

2. said enemy… complimented you? 

huh, it’s as if the words slipped out before he could catch them, as if he’s been holding them in for far too long, as if… you notice the way his neck reddens, even as he turns away.

behind the door, alhaitham lets out a quiet breath.

“gago… nagkamali ba ako?”

stupid… did i make a mistake?

to his dismay, an annoyingly familiar voice cuts through the silence. kaveh, who had been waiting just down the hall, notices him standing there, a little too still. 

“oh, what do we have here?" there's a slight pause, followed by a raised eyebrow. "is that—no way, your face is red!” kaveh teases, amusement dancing in his eyes. “what happened there?" he leans in, clearly enjoying himself. "come on, spill the tea..!” 

"not a chance," alhaitham retorts, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms defensively.

just then, kaveh spots cyno and tighnari; grinning, he waves them over. “what’s going on? did alhaitham finally crack under pressure?”

alhaitham would rather reorganise the entire library than listen to kaveh recount what happened.

“i’m leaving.” 

"no, i'm afraid you're not getting out of this one.” cyno steps forward, blocking alhaitham’s path; and tighnari, who has been quietly observing till now, chimes in, “don’t leave us hanging.”

“you’re outnumbered.” 

alhaitham sighs and shakes his head. he hadn’t even thought it was physically possible for him, of all people, to do something as ridiculous as blushing —until today.

(on the other side of the door, their banter echoes through, and you can’t help but chuckle to yourself at alhaitham’s misery.)

ACT V: PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY, YOU SAY? BUT EVERYONE CALLS IT FLIRTING.

“i think alhaitham likes [name].”

the whole table falls silent before kaveh dramatically slams his glass down on the table, causing a splash of alcohol to spill over the edge. “oh finally, it’s so obvious! have you all seen the way he looks at them?” 

across the table, tighnari taps his fingers absentmindedly on his notebook, his attention only half on kaveh’s (incoming) rant but clearly invested enough, as shown by the slight twitching of his ears, to be listening. 

cyno snickers, “you’re telling me the man who can dissect any philosophical argument can’t handle a little crush? that’s rich.”

kaveh waves a hand dismissively. “come on! remember that time they were partnered up for a project? he was so... uncharacteristically patient! i’d almost say it’s cute if it weren’t alhaitham we’re talking about!”

right, it’d be almost endearing —if it weren’t coming from the most stoic, intimidatingly aloof guy in the entire school. it’d be adorable —if it weren’t alhaitham, who instinctively covers the corner of your table with his hand when you drop your pencil, ensuring you won’t hit your head as you bend down to retrieve it.

oh, you don’t notice (of course not). but your friend dehya, sitting nearby, catches the whole scene out of the corner of her eye. she raises an eyebrow, nudging the girl beside her. 

(“candace, do you see that shit.” / “yeah.”)

“a soft spot for [name], you say? well, i’ve got a story of my own, too.” cyno glances around, ensuring no one else is within earshot, then lowers his voice conspiratorially.  “have you noticed? he doesn’t wear his earphones when he’s around them.”

kaveh pipes up, nodding eagerly.

“he’s got those earphones practically glued to his head, he doesn’t hear anything he doesn’t want to, and he certainly doesn’t talk unless he’s forced to. but around them?” cyno pauses, pretending to think for a while. “not once. he’ll put them away entirely, like he’s actually willing to be… present.”

sure it’s small, subtle, the kind of habit no one would pick up on unless they were looking closely. but to anyone who knew alhaitham well, it tells them more than words ever could. 

for him, actions speak louder than words, even if he often doesn’t realise the meaning behind his own gestures.

his earphones slide down, resting forgotten around his neck, all so he can be close enough to catch the delightful lilt of your laughter. his chair inches a fraction closer, seemingly by accident. a subtle upward twitch at the corner of his mouth, so fleeting and often passing so quickly if one weren’t paying attention.

for him, it’s a language without words.

dehya laughs softly. "for someone who supposedly ‘doesn’t like being bothered,’ he sure seems invested in whatever [name] has to say."

and what sealed their suspicions? 

definitely the time when kaveh complimented nilou’s new bracelet. he glanced over at the man beside him, nudging him lightly. “what do you think?”

alhaitham gave the bracelet a cursory glance, before replying, “it’s nice.” though his gaze flickered back; and almost absently, he added after a pause, “[name] has the same one too.”

oh… oh? well that was oddly specific. kaveh’s eyebrow quirked as he fought to suppress a grin.

alhaitham had noticed a detail seemingly insignificant about [name] —the kind of thing he never cared to show the slightest interest in when it came to anyone else.

the glint in nilou’s eyes seemed to mirror kaveh’s unspoken thoughts, silently agreeing with his suspicions.  

now they’re certain —100% sure, in fact —that alhaitham has a crush on you.

“well, speak of the devil… lovely seeing you here, alhaitham,” kaveh quips. tighnari, ever observant, gives him a pointed look. “your jacket’s missing.”

“someone took it,” alhaitham replies, his tone as composed as always, giving nothing away.

—nothing until you walked past. draped over your shoulders, unmistakable, is alhaitham’s jacket. you don’t notice the way every pair of eyes follows you, or the way kaveh barely stifles a triumphant laugh.

...make that 110%.

(translation: he means he borrowed his jacket because [name] was cold.)

ACT VI: IT’S YOU, WHO COMES TO MY RESCUE. 

the quiet night hangs heavy, the road empty and bathed in the dim glow of distant streetlights. you weave through the streets, but no matter how many twists and turns you take, that weirdo just won’t leave you alone.  

he’s been trailing behind you for blocks now, his persistence grating on your nerves, cornering you with endless “compliments” and invasive questions. you’ve tried to shake him off, but his determination far exceeds your patience.

"come on, just give me a chance," he insists, stepping closer, a little too close for comfort. you take a step back. the smell of alcohol reeks from his breath, and his grin is making your skin crawl. 

"i told you, i’m not interested," you say firmly, keeping your voice steady, but the panic was starting to creep in. you glance at the empty bottle in his hand —he’s definitely drunk out his mind.

“you sure?" he completely ignores your clear discomfort. "how about you just give me your number, yeah?" he slurs out.

"no, i have a boyfriend." you lie through your teeth, hoping that would be enough to make him back off.

unfortunately, he’s as insufferable as he is persistent.

he snorts dismissively, "yeah, right. a boyfriend? you’re just playing hard to get."

you sigh, you aren’t in the mood for this, not here, not now, and especially not with someone like him. "i already told you, i have a boyfriend," your voice now tinged with frustration. "so please, just leave me alone.”

"oh, don't be like that," he steps in front of you, blocking your way. "prove it. call your boyfriend. show me you’re not lying."

your heart races as the man reaches out for you, dodging his hand, you take the chance to look behind him for an escape. just then, you see an all-too-familiar figure in the distance. 

alhaitham. 

you barely manage to suppress a relieved sigh as you wave frantically in his direction. he spots you almost immediately and without hesitation, he rushes over.

"what, this your boyfriend?" the guy sneers with derision, still sounding a little too cocky for someone who was about to get a reality check.

alhaitham steps beside you, you can feel his eyes on you for just a brief moment, the faintest flicker of worry flashing across his face. it’s subtle, almost imperceptible, but you catch it—and it makes your chest tighten.

his voice is low, unmistakably carrying a warning, "yes, i’m their boyfriend. and if you don’t want things to escalate, i suggest you leave." 

the man’s face twists as anger flares in his bloodshot eyes. he takes a step forward, his grip tightening around the neck of the bottle, the glass slightly cracking. "you think you can tell me what to do?" he slurs, gaze wild and unfocused. “y-you think you’re some kind of saviour? *hic* a-and you! how… how dare you reject me?!”

alhaitham doesn’t move, his expression cold and unbothered, and that only seems to make the man angrier. his frustration boils over, and with a snarl, he clumsily swings the bottle in his hand, aggressively lurching towards your direction. 

the world seems to slow for a moment. though before you can even react, alhaitham pulls you firmly behind him with one swift motion, his other arm instinctively rising to shield the both of you from the blow. the sound of glass meeting his forearm is sharp and jarring —you can hear the high-pitched tinkle of glass scattering, the jagged shards bouncing off the pavement, and some skittering across the ground.

but he doesn’t even flinch, his stance unwavering as the man stumbles back, glass crunching underfoot. you’re still frozen from shock, your heart racing in your chest as you watch the scene unfold. 

“big mistake,” he starts, and the man visibly falters. “harassment, assault —keep this up, and you’ll regret every choice that brought you here tonight.”

the man shifts around, clearly disoriented. his eyes dart between you and alhaitham, but it’s clear that the fight’s already left him. “you— you can’t do this!” the man stammers, trying to regain some semblance of courage; unfortunately for him, the tremor in his voice is unmistakable. 

“do you really want to find out?” alhaitham asks, to which the man shakes his head vigorously. “get lost,” he mutters. the man, looking more pathetic than threatening now, quickly stumbles away, mumbling incoherent curses under his breath.

you’re breathless, still clutching the edge of his jacket, fingers trembling slightly as the adrenaline courses through you. 

"are you alright?"

you nod, forcing a small, unconvincing smile."yeah... i’m fine. thanks to you." 

alhaitham’s eyes narrow slightly, scanning you for any sign of injury. you follow his gaze instinctively, glancing down at yourself. that’s when you notice it —not on you, but on him.

streaks of red stain his forearm, where jagged shards of glass must have cut him during the confrontation. the gash bleeds steadily, a dark line of blood seeping through the fabric of his jacket.

"wait," you breathe, your heart sinking. "you're bleeding."

your stomach twists with guilt.

"why didn’t you say anything?" you exclaim.

he shakes his head, a dismissive gesture that does nothing to ease the knot forming in your stomach. "it’s nothing," he says, but the slight furrow in his brow and the tension in his jaw betray his words.

"nothing?" you fix him with a hard glare. "idiot… you just blocked a glass bottle with your arm, don’t try to downplay this."  

you grab his sleeve, tugging it gently but firmly, the fabric sliding beneath your fingers as you pull it up. “—and unless you think an infection is ‘nothing’, you’ll let me take care of this."  

"hold still," you murmur as you settle beside him on the couch, your supplies spread across the coffee table in front of you.

the scent of antiseptic fills the air as you take a disinfectant wipe and gently dab it against the gash. the sting of the alcohol makes him flinch slightly, but he doesn’t pull away. you mutter a soft apology, your movements slow and deliberate as you try to be as gentle as you can.

you open a tube of ointment, squeezing a small amount onto your finger before smoothing it carefully along the edges of the cut. the cool gel glides over his skin, and you can feel the tension in his arm ease ever so slightly under your touch.

“nǐ zhème guān xīn wǒ, huì ràng wǒ wù huì de.”

if you care so much about me, i might misunderstand you.

your fingers pause briefly, the words catching you off guard. you glance up at him, but he only averts his gaze, his eyes remaining fixed on a distant spot beyond the room.

misunderstand? misunderstand what, exactly?

the bandage wraps securely around his arm as you smooth it into place. as you tuck the end of the bandage, his voice comes again, just as soft, but no less clear. 

“—wù huì nǐ duì wǒ yǒu gǎn jué.”

"—misunderstand that you have feelings for me."

your brain short-circuits, and in your shock, your hands jerk. in turn, the bandage tightens way too much, causing him to wince and tense up. before you can apologise, he lets out a light chuckle.

“suǒ yǐ nǐ dān xīn wǒ… nǐ shì bù shì gù yì ràng rén xīn dòng de?”

“so you're worried about me… are you purposely trying to make my heart race?”

his words only make you more flustered, and you find yourself fumbling to fix the bandage. “i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to—”

his chuckle only grows softer, and you catch the glint of amusement in his eyes. “it’s fine.”

you quickly finish adjusting the bandage, trying to focus on anything other than how your heart is now racing. (ironically) 

“you seem flustered,” he comments casually, as if he isn’t the one who just made your head spin. “did i say something wrong?”

you shake your head quickly, hoping to hide the flush creeping up your neck. "no, not at all.”

his lips twitch into the faintest hint of a smirk.

"nǐ bù bì yǎn shì, wǒ xǐ huān nǐ hài xiū de yàng zǐ, tǐng kě ài de.”

“you don’t have to hide it. i like seeing your flustered expression, it’s quite cute.”

(oh this bastard!!!!)

you try to speak, but the words get stuck in your throat. what do you say when someone’s teasing you so openly —and they think you don’t even realise it?

after a long moment, he stands, “it’s getting late, i should get going.” alhaitham gives you a small, almost imperceptible nod, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment —and there it was, that trace of softness reserved only for you.

he heads toward the door, you watch him, feeling a strange sense of emptiness when he turns away.

“i’ll see you,” he pauses. "...and thank you for tending to me."

you watch him leave, the door clicking softly behind him, and the silence settles back into the room.

you blink, taking a deep breath. what a rollercoaster of a day. yawning, you turn to start tidying up, but your eyes land on something on the couch.

it’s his jacket, draped over the armrest. you notice a tear on the sleeve, just where his injured forearm had been. what truly catches your attention, however, is a folded piece of paper slipping out of the pocket. 

intrigued, you unfold it, revealing his neat, precise handwriting. 

ACT VII: THE SECRET I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN. 

To [Name],  I once believed you to be little more than a nuisance. A bright, well-meaning nuisance, no doubt, but a nuisance nonetheless. One who seemed intent only on striving for perfection, always seeking to best me at every turn, not out of malice but out of some earnest desire to prove your worth. In my arrogance, I mistook your relentless pursuit for a need for recognition, as if you sought my attention in some petty rivalry. Though very quickly, you made me think otherwise.  You saw the world differently, you also saw me differently. You didn’t treat me with the reverence others seemed to, nor did you shy away from challenging me. You refused to be seen as anything other than yourself; and that, in itself, was what made me admire you —what made me long to understand you more. Now, I find that I am standing with half a heart and an emptiness I never knew I could feel, because you showed me what it truly means to crave something more, something I never thought I deserved. You may think I’m a coward for not expressing my feelings more directly, perhaps you are right. I am a coward for fearing to lay bare the vulnerability of my heart. But even in my cowardice, know that my thoughts have always been of you.  If you have seen through my silence and hesitation, if you understand my actions when my words fail me, then perhaps you have already known this truth. I care for you, more deeply than I can fully express. Though I may never be able to say these things as openly as I wish, I’d like you to know that my actions have always been my confession. Even now, I’m still a coward for you. So please, if you decide to give me a chance, I’ll be waiting at nightfall. Helplessly,  Alhaitham. 

you absentmindedly trace the edges of the letter with your fingers while your eyes skim over his writing for the nth time, the ink seeming to blur together with your thoughts as you try to process everything. your fingers curl around the fabric of his jacket, a foolish smile creeping onto your face.

tomorrow’s nightfall feels impossibly far away, yet you can’t wait for it. 

alhaitham lays on his bed, his arm aches slightly from the injury, but it’s nothing he can’t ignore. plus, the bandage you had carefully wrapped around his arm is enough to keep the discomfort at bay. 

(originally, he had only planned to meet you, slip you the note, and be on his way. things didn’t go exactly to plan, but either way, he hopes you’ve read it by now.)

of all the possibilities, he’s never accounted for the one he’d be at mercy of his own emotions; he had always prided himself on his rationality, his restraint. but now? he’s reckless, absurd, foolish even —he can admit that to himself. but he finds he doesn’t care in the slightest.

for as much as he is a coward in your presence, he is just as much a fool in your absence.

ACT VIII: UNDER THE RAIN, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. 

“alhaitham isn’t really an expressive person, so don’t worry if he comes off as distant or uninterested. it’s not that he doesn’t care, he just… shows it differently.”

ah well, ‘differently’ indeed.

“—most importantly, alhaitham doesn’t waste time on people he doesn’t care about, so you must mean a lot to him.”

maybe you didn’t mind how your heart raced when you heard that.

“don’t fuss over it [name], you’ll know when he’s in love.”

how so? 

if he was in love, what would it look like? would you be able to tell, or would it be just another one of those things you had to catch on to?

you wrapped the his jacket tighter around yourself, a faint smile tugging at your lips. it wasn’t the answers to those questions that mattered, but asking them in the first place —that was what made you realize you already knew all along.

the evening air is cool against your skin; a gentle breeze stirs the trees, their leaves rustling quietly, and your heart beats louder than ever, urging you forward.

in the distance, you spot him, standing still in the dim light. and without a second thought, you quicken your pace.

“haitham.”

the sound of your voice catches his attention as he turns to face you; you can’t help but notice how his gaze flickers down for just a moment, his eyes taking in on how his jacket looks on you, before meeting yours. 

his posture is unnervingly perfect, rigid almost to the point of stiffness …is he nervous?

“hey,” he finally says, clearing his throat. “there’s something i need to tell you… though you’ve probably already figured it out. you’ve always been sharp.” 

“i… ” he falters, and it’s the first time you see him hesitate. “i’m not sure how to put it… since i’m not exactly great at this.”

you tilt your head, subtly urging him to continue. 

“but you’ve managed to make me care about things i never thought i would. and now i can’t seem to stop thinking about it —about you.” his voice lowers, softer now, but there’s a rawness there that’s unmistakable.

“i’m telling you this now, because not saying it... doesn’t feel right anymore."

suddenly, you feel a soft mist that barely kisses your skin, a slight chill against your cheeks, then a few tiny drops,  until they start to gather in your hair, the beads of water slipping down the back of your neck, but you don't move. neither does he.

his hair is damp, sticking to his forehead, droplets trailing down his temple. his clothes cling to his frame, soaked by the rain, yet his attention remains solely on you.

“[name], i am irrevocably in love with you.”

you stand there, the rain falling relentlessly around you, the pitter-patter mirroring the frantic beat of your heart. the water trails down his face, but it’s hard to tell if it’s just the rain, or something else.

his lips part, as though he wants to say more, but the words seem caught in the storm, swallowed up by the downpour. the rain is cold, but his gaze? his gaze feels impossibly warm. 

it’s only when you feel the dampness of his jacket beneath your fingers, that the words finally come. “you don’t need to convince me of that.”

you take a step closer, and for a moment, the world outside seems to disappear.

“i’ve known,” you add. “but hearing you say it,” you pause, allowing yourself a small smile, “makes all the difference.”

reaching up, your fingers graze his damp skin as you gently push a wet strand of hair from his forehead, the warmth of your touch lingering against his cool skin. 

“'uhibuk aydan, alhaitham.”

i love you too, alhaitham.

a single droplet slides down his cheek, tracing the line of his jaw before falling to the soaked fabric of his collar. another follows. and then another. his breath catches in his throat, and a shaky exhale leaves his mouth.

you wrap your arms around him, and he sinks into your embrace, his hair tickling your cheeks, as his chest rises and falls against yours.

“you’re gonna make me cry too, idiot,” you murmur, burying your face in his chest, your eyes glassy. “you really are a fool,” you tease softly, a slight smile playing on your lips. “but only for me.”

slowly, his hands rise, trembling slightly, until they cup your cheeks, gently stroking it. 

“la yujad 'ahad akhar 'urid 'an 'akun 'ahmaq min 'ajlihi.”

there’s no one else i’d ever want to be a fool for.

his palms are surprisingly warm despite the weather. his thumb grazes your cheekbone as he leans in, and the world falls away —nothing but the warmth of his presence and the soft press of his lips against yours.

“this is my first time in ten years seeing this guy cry! can you believe it?!” kaveh whisper-shouts, peeking out from behind the shrub. 

nodding along, cyno agrees, poking his head out just right below the blond’s. “[name] is truly exceptional. though i must say, seeing alhaitham cry is quite tear-rifying.”

kaveh rolls his eyes in exasperation. “ugh, you and your puns.” he mutters under his breath while zooming in on his phone, which is currently recording the whole scene.

“quiet down, you two!” a voice hisses from behind them —tighnari, face flushed with panic. “they’re literally right there, and you’re making more noise than a herd of goats.”

“relax, we’re out of their line of sight anyway!” kaveh raises his phone higher, almost giddily, eyes glued to the screen. “and damn this is a good angle.”

tighnari exhales sharply, “you’re incorrigible.”

“look who’s talking,” cyno raises an eyebrow at tighnari… who’s also peeking out from behind the bush. (what a hypocrite)

…

“they kissed oh my g—” kaveh’s voice rises in disbelief, but cyno quickly covers his mouth with a swift hand. the three of them scramble to duck behind the bush just as you turn to glance in their direction.

(“is that… senior kaveh?” you squint your eyes, “cyno, and tighnari?” 

alhaitham clears his throat before glancing over at his friends with a deadpan expression. “yes and unfortunately, they’re very invested in my personal life. so please don’t mind them."

you laugh, finding the whole situation a bit too amusing. “not in the slightest, but i’m sure they’ll never let you hear the end of it.”)

EPILOGUE: IN EVERY LANGUAGE, I HEAR LOVE YOU.

“how long?”

you blink, feigning confusion. “how long what?”

alhaitham’s eyes narrow slightly, an expression you know well. “how long have you understood everything i’ve been saying?”

you bite back a smile and offer a small shrug, “...ever since you started?” 

his lips press into a thin line, and for a moment, you can’t tell if he’s upset or impressed. then, he sighs, almost amused. “and you let me embarrass myself all this time?”

“you were being honest,” you shrug, a smirk forming. “plus i knew you’d figure it out eventually.”

he huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “may ideya ka ba kung ano ginawa mo?"

do you have any idea what you’ve done?

"mas lalong umibig sakin?"

made you fall in love with me even more?

you tease, but there’s a tenderness in your voice that softens the edge of your words.

“yes, and you really are insufferable,” he mutters with no malice. his tone is different now. softer. warmer, even.

you lean in slightly, a playful glint in your eyes. “that’s not what i heard you say before.” your fingers graze the skin of his cheek before you tenderly pinch it, giggling softly at the reaction you provoked.

in one smooth motion, he catches your hand before you can pull away and tugs you towards him, closing the distance between you in a heartbeat. you tilt your head back to meet alhaitham’s gaze.

you’ve often thought he’s the most-perfect boyfriend, undeniably handsome in every way —but there’s really just one flaw: his height.

“ugh, you’re too tall," you grumble, rubbing the back of your neck. "i’m having a neck sore just looking at you."

he quirks an eyebrow at your sudden words. “you could use a stepstool.” 

"or," you counter, "you could get on your knees and save me the trouble.”

he slowly lets out a breath, his lips curling ever so slightly. 

“'akida, 'antaziri hataa 'ashtari alkhatama.”

sure, just wait till i buy the ring.

"wh—" 

he crosses his arms, "what’s wrong? isn’t that what people expect when someone gets on their knees?"

you roll your eyes, half-smiling. "fine, then i’ll eagerly wait for that day.”

his gaze softens as his hand reaches up, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face; his eyes drop to your lips for a moment, and you know what’s coming even before he speaks.

this fic was not sponsored by duolingo, but with the help of my beloved friends!! wouldn't have been possible w/o em please give them a round of applause xx

vietnamese — @https-sourlimes

tagalog / filipino — @vxnuslogy

arabic — @ughscara

chinese, japanese — me!

ty @mitsvriii for proofreading, love u all <3

and thank you for reading!! reblogs are appreciated ^^

pspspss check out the cool fanart / comic based on this fic here by @rei-plswork 🤍

MASTERLIST.

[pinkygripper]

I call this one: the very real and totally what happened canonical ending that I am not in denial about because its what happened.

Anywho sketch cleaned up! yippee :)) also some college work done so wow I am the best I am unstoppable. This was actually so fun to work on and I love these two so much(!!!) so potentially more to follow...(?) Idk whats going with the clothes I struggled to find clear references and also theres no scribbles on them cos I couldnt figure out how it wouldnt like.. make it too busy or like distract the eye? Idk if i figure it out ill post that

Please comment, I am fueled by nice words and many cups of tea... And Im all out of tea.

hmm i was gonna say something else but I've forgotten so Ill just post, Have a lovely evening or whatever your time zone is up to!!

xxx

[grandpasauce]

im curious what other people think but i feel more and more that Solas didnt take long to start shifting his view of the modern people of Thedas. Like, im talking by the end of the PROLOGUE he's already somewhat impressed by the inquisitor's ability to even handle the mark let alone use it effectively, already exceeding Solas' low expectations. And then on top of it he says shit like THIS in the Hinterlands, mind you... aka the FIRST location u unlock before even going to Val Royeaux

like it doesnt take him long at all to start admiring things about the modern people and the people in the inquisition like Cassandra etc etc etc and it's always so surprising considering how coldly he kills off Felassan for even suggesting that Solas should give this world a second chance. He goes from THAT at the beginning of the prologue to "i will remember you all blah blah" in the span of like, a couple days. It's such a 180 that it makes me kind of think Solas was maybe in denial about his belief that the modern people arent Real people because he knows he's planning on dooming them all and it's easier to cope that way. Also cause like... he watched modern thedas unfold over 5000 years from the fade and tells you stories (most likely from that time) of people doing cute things he admires (i.e. the qunari baker who would sneak sugar into her bread etc etc) and im like??? You never ONCE during that whole 5000 years thought MAYBE these people aren't as soulless as you perhaps initially assumed??? I call bullshit.

I think the moment Solas was face to face with the modern people of Thedas he very quickly realized he could no longer deny what he already knew deep down. But idk im rambling maybe im totally wrong but like.... AM I THE ONLY ONE WHOS THOUGHT ABOUT THIS?

[sheppardsmckay]

Me blissfully enjoying an episode of joyful and relatable Rodney comedy until my personal Sheppard brings me back to reality and I realize how messed up mine and Rodney’s brains are. Thank you very much for the therapy session Shep.

Stargate-Atlantis S2: E4 Duet

Sheppard: So we're cool?

McKay: No, you're cool. I'm fine.

The first time I saw this episode, I thought it was hysterical. This time, it made me largely uncomfortable. Cadman's constant usurping of Rodney's body feels wrong. I spent most of the episode as unhappy as Rodney. But that makes his saving of them better. In a way, Rodney is the better man. Cadman is kind of a brat. But, also, personally, I don't tend to get along with women like Cadman who are brash and cocky. My girlfriends are more like Teyla, calm and strong. So Cadman just rubs me wrong all the way around.

What I did like: Sheppard constantly checks on McKay and is there every time there is a change or a chance to fix things. Sheppard tested Ronon's skill level and wanted him on the team so bad. It made me happy. And the moment when Weir came to talk to Ronon was great. First, because Ronon has already moved from proving he belongs on the Alpha team to training the other men, and second, because as a rewatch, I know someday he'll thank Weir for taking him in. That's all I could think of. Later, when she's almost lost, Ronon will quietly thank her for giving him a home.🥺

[blueiight]

“what can the damned really say to the damned?” is what this episode asks. and well… “nothing.” is what the show answers us with.

we are introduced to louis and claudia as ultimate outcasts to the mortals around them and vampiredom: louis attempts to maintain the illusions of humanity in similar structures once more, casting grace as his lost wife and claudia as his daughter, as claudia seeks to find other vampires. armand, clearly pissed about the interview as is, decides to draw upon 150 years of prior work experience as a playwright toward the end of this episode, which is quite frankly, a bit much considering how daniel’s already scared shitless. and theres a terrible romantic specter in europe following louis thats named lestat. its a lot going on here, and im bound to not cover everything. i do want to cover dreamstat, and me and you(5x) but i will wait for the season to progress to do that^_^

‘He asked me if we could go home. Home? Can there be a more offensive question? Run back to New Orleans. Pry up his bones, why don’t you? Louis de Pointe du Lac, dead weight.’

louis and claudia’s tension in this particular episode revolve around the killing — or the betrayal that prevented the killing — of lestat. et tu, louis? stowaways on ships, trains, and wagons and a totally alien environment where even the blood is hostile to them, is it any wonder louis dreams of lestat? is it any wonder, having access to louis’s mind, in pursuit of some understanding of vampires beyond the facismile of the nuclear structure, that claudia continues to feel betrayed? i always think to myself, if claudia had qualities that made the average fan more sympathetic to her, would they understand how she was betrayed by louis specifically that night? would they be able to sympathize with claudia’s incredible perserverance despite, and because of, everything thats happened to her? and how that betrayal is the underlying tragedy and romance alike of the narrative that made 1940 mardi gras’s aftermath so haunting that louis in dubai did not remember it or was made not to until the other night?

following that in the flashbacks is when dreamstat first appears, clearly an extension of louis’s own mind at this own point, and he asks louis:

Four years of grim wayfaring, and still no sight of the benevolent vampire. So how does denial manifest itself tonight? … Was she worth it?

its so telling that lestat is the image louis calls upon to embody his most bitter feelings toward claudia in this sequence. dreamstat deserves his own breakdown, especially in relation to louis& claudia’s conversation when she first finds the revenant, as well as the wider events in dubai…

speaking of revenants, morgan in the show is a proto-daniel of sorts an abandoned journalist whos interest in photography exposes the illusion of grace the wife and claudia the impossible daughter, and tries to understand louis through the perspective of the mortal hes been given — did he go AWOL, or is he a black bolshevik? louis when questioned absconds, and closes up what little of himself he’s sold to morgan. its a smart way to include him in the narrative, as morgan is witness to emilia’s beheading after she was attacked by said revenant… and louis turns his head, truly embodying the detachment of the vampire in this moment. human affairs, their problem. this is a really good example of whats meant by ‘human affairs’ in the show, by the way. this episode features claudia & louis facing racism from military to children, and thats not framed as a ‘human affair’, but as one of many haunting aspects of their immortal existences.

claudia, in the pursuit for vampires, continues the metaphor of adoption in how she tries to find some sort of companionship and her current understanding of romania as this ancestral home to the vampire. whats also noticeable here is how claudia trying to make sense of centuries of legends is a striking parallel to how louis in the present day attempts to make sense of whats ‘true’ and ‘untrue’ from her diaries. claudia’s private accounts in the present that she never intended to be so deeply analyzed as anything other than her internal narrative in the moments she wrote them has become, to louis, a similar sort of legend thats necessary to decode for his own sense of self.

She writes here, ‘I do not dream.’ I can confirm that. At least, that’s what she said to me once when I was talking about one of my dreams which were erratic and often in those years. Of course, she might’ve just said that to shut me up, but yet… she writes it here so… let’s believe it. She continues. ‘We traveled light in our ancestral home. We slept in the earth, took circuitous routes around the mad army goose-stepping its way toward mother Russia…’

I woke that night to the sound of chaos erupting nearby. Claudia was, uh.. . she was dreaming. Her head twitching like you would. […] No, I can feel her. I can feel her next to me. She’s having a nightmare. What’s worse than a nightmare? If your soul’s projecting out its fears, at least it’s up and running. But the absence of anything? The void, the nothing, pieces… coming back. Hours, nights, objects surfacing in water… It was just something she’d wrote. But it wasn’t true. She could dream.

dubai louis’s recollection of claudia and the existential dread of eternally being damned, the terror of lacking a soul, a rather catholic fear but still having a sequence of memories that cycle back into an immortal brain, replay in this inversed sleep cycle, can be malleable, forgotten, poke a hole in louis’s attempt to utilize claudia’s diaries as but an extension of his own narrative, and offers a glimpse at what is truly at stake in this second interview.

[ilikekidsshows]

I almost feel bad for the Marinette stans that are still fighting tooth and nail to claim that Marinette would never use Adrien's amoks

Like.. guys, what show are you watching? If Marinette knows an option exists, she will eventually justify maxing it out to her advantage. Sure, she wont do it willy-nilly for no reason, but I can easily see it happening that if Adrien were to now want to go back to working in his father's business because he's Gabriel's heir so he can take it over when he's of age to not lose the business his saint of a father built for them

Yeah, Marinette would justify using the amoks against him to change Adrien's mind to wanting to take over her parents' bakery for example because him going back is "wrong" and she knows what's "right". Adrien has no reason anymore to not wanting to go back to working in the Gabriel business. He thinks he owes his dead family to keep their legacy going. Adrien is all that's left of the Agreste's, s5 brought this up several times.

Marinette saying at the end of season 5 that Adrien "doesn't need to be as great as his hero father. She loves him anyway <3 (isn't she such a saint too? ^^)" is nice and well, but she also says that its HIM who decides what his future will be and that is laughably unlikely for Marinette to actually respect. If Adrien makes a big decision she doesn't agree with, she wont respect it. When has she ever?

Adrien has no reason to not decide to be his father's heir again and no way in hell will Marinette give anything resembling to a valid reason against it. She can't, it would require the truth and communication skills she refuses to work on.

I can even see it happening that Marinette will break up with him over this while going "I cant bare watching you do this 😔" hoping that itll make Adrien give in, and if he dares to choose his dead family over her she'll use his amoks "for his own good" cause "what was she supposed to do? 😭"

Or any similar situation. No, she wont do it at any little problem, but saying that Marinette would NEVER do it makes me wonder if these people like canon Marinette at all if they are so in denial about her massively flawed character.

Now, her doing it to CHAT NOIR is a different thing. Pre season 5, she would use his amok in a heart beat and claim its a totally level headed and a phenomenal battle strategy he needs to learn to respect her for. It would be sold as "he trusts her so MUCH uwu" and "she would never hurt him, it cant be abusive 😢"

Thats one of the only good things I can say about season 4 Ladynoir. At least Marinette didnt know Chat Noir is a Sentimonster. Knowing Marinette's disastrous writing in that conflict (she was rewarded for and held to 0 moral standards), she might have even refused to give the amok back to him and taken it with her "for save keeping because shes the guardian and she decided that him having his amok is too dangerous".

She would have raped his mind several times just to avoid any pushback or confrontation. She would have used "kind" phrasing to order him to shut up or to just stand there and do nothing but follow her orders.

She wouldn't have considered Chat's humanity one bit because for her hes already just some magical pet, and would have still only started crying for herself once anything might have asked her to realize what shes doing to him is wrong. Why should this factor cause a development in her that hasn't happened in Canon? Canon Marinette is a selfish leech in her treatment of Chat Noir. He cant have anything or anyone. She will abuse him however she likes, she gives no support back, she forbids him from existing as a real person, shes entirely uninterested in him as a person, she lies and uses him with a smile to prevent him from ever asks anything of her ever again the second even the tiniest consideration was expected of her, and then turns around and plays blameless cause "he didn't tell me 😢 im so pure he just isn't dedicating himself enough to me 😭" once she has to somewhat face that he wasn't treated well.

It is a god send that Marinette doesn't know that Chat Noir is a Sentimonster. Sure, she would show at least SOME restraint for Adrien, but even that has obvious limits once she doesn't agree with the big decisions he will make. But Chat Noir? Lord have mercy on that boy, she already barely allows him any true personhood and treats him like an animal and puppet to abuse, sacrifice, and posses to stroke her ego.

She would abuse the SHIT out of that amok and the show would paint her as "kind" and "loving" or "badass" for doing it over and over and OVER again.

But it's fine, cause she's doing it with love ❤️ and isn't her doing all that to him the proof he needed that she values him cause otherwise she would have long killed him like the goddess of justice she is? 😘

---

Oh, yeah, I have no faith on Marinette’s self control over the Amok if Adrien did something she found “bad” enough that she’d have “no other choice”. I think Adrien's career path would invoke this reaction if she couldn't badger, pressure and hound him into changing his mind first. She'd be crying while she does it about how she doesn't want to but she can't lose Adrien after they've come so far together and we’d be expected to think that yeah, she's totally justified, couldn't Adrien just do whatever Marinette wants because it's so sad when Marinette is upsette.

You're also totally right on how Ladybug would totally be controlling Cat Noir with his Amok if she had the knowledge and access. After all, Cat Noir gets mind controlled so often that it's just an excellent backup plan for Ladybug to have a counter mind control option. And it would be so convenient if she could just will Cat Noir to do what her plan requires instead of telling him to, because now the enemy can't hear her scheme. It's fine, because she's the leader and Cat Noir would follow her lead anyway. There's no moral conundrum here, because she's Ladybug and she decides what good and evil mean!

[scoobydoodean]

reading the notes makes me feel like im missing something about the plucky pennywhistle thing. like people are tagging it "me when i lie" "man i wish dean would tell the truth about his childhood" like. did he lie in the episode? im not saying he didnt i just. am confused. (also unless we are shown what happened, accusing dean or sam of lying about their childhood is presumption, because sam might've perceived it as "trolling for chicks" but maybe dean was hustling pool.

to be clear i do think dean was blowing off steam and flirting with girls because he was a teenager and probably was exhausted about being forced to parent his brother, but the fandom wiki could've also been remembering the fact that there's a mother in the episode who is dumping her kid at plucky's so she can work enough hours, and dean starts defending the mom, so the wiki author misremembered it as "he was working and told sam he was flirting" . reporting that as fact is Not a good idea for a fandom wiki but there's a weird obsession that sam and dean are ontologically liars or truth tellers when sam and dean lie all the time and might be reporting memories inaccurately, but they usually don't when it comes to their childhood.

like "dean did his best to parent sam despite being ill-equipped and a child" and "sam felt very lonely despite dean's persistent presence in his life and dean felt hurt when he found this out, despite this not being either of their faults" can both be true!

like sam literally lies In That Conversation because he doesn't wanna talk about plucky's! he literally says "no i don't remember it". and this is hilarious of him. he's trying to rewrite his own memory in real time i think.

Dean doesn’t seem to quite remember Plucky’s at first.

Likely because Dean really doesn’t remember, he also really doesn’t take offense to Sam’s version of events or argue with him at all? He accepts Sam’s version (that he hated Plucky’s) as soon as Sam says so.

Yeah, when Sam complains that Dean abandoned him there to troll for chicks, Dean says,

“It's not like I left you in jail. I mean, those places are supposed to be fun.”

But that isn’t a denial of how Sam actually felt about the place. It’s a (light-heartedly stated) defense of Dean’s own reasons for leaving him there. He thought it would be fun! If that wasn’t true, surely Dean would have left Sam at the motel and saved himself the time and cash, no? I think the fact that Dean thinks Sam liked it means Dean probably wasn’t paying attention to him at the time, caught up with his own stuff, but I don’t think it makes sense to assume anything other than that, and I think Dean is perfectly willing to accept that he wasn’t really paying attention to what Sam wanted.

Sam’s tone and the content of his complaints when telling Dean how he really felt about Plucky’s also isn’t exactly serious. He reports that Plucky’s was “lame”, “smelled like puke”, and served grainy ice cream. He’s not exactly bringing the real tragedy to the surface here (the kid at Plucky’s with the overworked mom is much more effective at exhibiting the misery of being trapped in a children’s arcade).

The thing is, Dean really isn’t defensive about any of this? He actually just thinks it’s funny. Laughing over the phone with Sam, he says, “What in the world did they do to you?” It’s honestly kind of refreshing that Dean really doesn’t beat himself up about it. Even in the end of the episode when Dean apologizes for ditching Sam, he’s laughing (and then pranks Sam with a clown doll). Maybe that’s what sets them off? That Dean doesn’t “care” enough? Unfortunately for them, Dean was also a child who deserved his own space and was not Sam’s dad.

Totally agree with you that there’s an underlying little narrative here about overworked parents and that a wiki shouldn’t make inferences. And also about Sam and Dean’s differing versions of childhood often making sense from their own perspectives. They can both be right about their own perception.

[ohbo-ohno]

you said conqueror ghost goading the princess into calling him daddy to mock her and reinforce his control over her and i stood the fuck up!!!!!! ghost playing with her the whole day, having her stimulated on the precipice of an orgasm but not giving her enough to finally get that pleasure she's been craving until she finally calls him daddy and says she's his princess.... finally giving in.... when the sweet pleasure gets to her head and she's finally forced into that subspace.... ghost petting her and cooing mockingly at the tears from the relief at her orgasm which came so hard it shook her... ghost guiding her down to his cock.... when she's blubbering over his cock and sucking desperately at it he smiles and says so you do like being my pretty little princess, you like pleasing daddy like this huh, princess? ..... please sedate me im very normal about this

i really don't think ghost has a daddy kink but like. it would FIT well in the conqueror au. he's the king now, and you're the princess... what does that make him to you :(

obsessed with the image of ghost keeping his princess on the precipice of subspace all day. she's pissed about it and the constant simmering pleasure, and against her own will she ends up staying near him all day.

ghost will watch her from the corner of his eye as she sort of paces, getting closer and closer to him with every lap. she doesn't even notice, poor thing, but johnny sure does. it takes all the control in his body to keep himself next to ghost instead of darting out to grab her. he just tracks her with his eyes as she goes back and forth and back and forth

finally she's close enough for ghost to snap out and grab her wrist, tugging her close. he'd tease her a little, rumble smth like do you need something? we're busy here. and she just goes crimson, turning her nose up and not responding. ghost tugs her into his lap for the rest of whatever meeting he's in, keeping a big warm palm cupper right over where she's slick and dripping

and it goes like that all day. ghost has got her good and brainwashed, she knows that she goes to him for pleasure. so hours into denial, of course she's following him. she might not even fully realize it tbh

and the sweet sweet relief of finally being allowed an orgasm, yes, but also being allowed to just float away. ghost lets her come and he lets her dip down into subspace (which they totally wouldnt have a word for btw), watching as her pupils go blown and she just surrenders to him completely

he's mean about it, of course. there you go, sweetheart, that's what you need, isn't it? a nice big orgasm for my little girl. feels so good, yeah? yeah, i know, i know. hush, sweet thing, don't whine. want somethin' in your mouth, is that it? alright, my princess gets whatever she wants, doesn't she? sweet, spoiled thing. here, suck on my cock for a bit, love. there you go, there you go, that's good. just relax, princess, you can stay down there as long as you need. that's what good girls get

[mysterious-ocarina]

amazing work! consider this… gn reader is chuuyas coworker who’s emotionless and keeps their distance from him and their colleagues… chuuya starts to like them but doesn’t know how to bridge the gap…. and on a mission with chuuya, (there was only one bed!!) an asphrodiac gets put in their drink… so they come to him begging him to help them because they don’t know what to do… and fluff and smut ensues!!

Because You Want Me To (NSFW)

Chuuya Nakahara x fem!reader

A/N Im so sorry, i really meant to keep it gn but then i just got caught up with the feminism idea cuz i mean come on, theres no way chuuya isnt a woman respecter. I also was not sure how to write gn smut. If you dont like it, i can totally write it again but definitely gn and less feminism involved. Pls lmk also pls tell me what termonology to use for. . . certain body parts cuz lately everything just sounds wrong

please give me recommendations for books to use as abilities or just abilities in general for bsd content

Main Masterlist BSD Masterlist Requests AO3

(4.0k words)

Sitting hunched over your desk filling out paperwork was getting real old, really quick. You sighed as you leaned back in your chair. Some may call you a workaholic but you were simply strong-willed and determined. Growing up the way you did, you learned to be very independent and how to make your own spot in the world. You joined the Port Mafia at the age of sixteen and have worked the hardest you could to be the strongest.

Your ability did not give you a fighting advantage but you did have a clairvoyant advantage. You were able to speak to animals and your pet raven was your second pair of eyes and ears. It was a normal occurrence for people to see you walking around the halls with Ace clinging to your shoulders. More often than not, he was your partner on missions considering you preferred to work alone.

Becoming an Executive to the Port Mafia was hard work but there wasn’t anything that you would allow to stand in your way. You were very feared and very respected, which is exactly how you like it. You only conversed with your coworkers when it was needed. You were here to do your job, not make pointless relations with coworkers. It was pretty easy for you to avoid interactions with most people in the Port Mafia. The only exceptions were the boss and the other executives, one in particular.

Chuuya Nakahara was. . . different. You weren’t really sure what it was (you do but you’re in denial) but there is something about him that makes him more bearable than anyone else in the mafia that you’ve met. Whenever you were paired together for missions, which was pretty often, he always pulled his weight. There were times when you were paired with people who just wouldn’t do the job they were assigned to do because of egos or whatever. It bothered you to no end when you had to pick up their slack. Chuuya was a great mafioso and incredibly strong which was something you greatly respected.

You still did your best to avoid him, outside of missions. There was no reason why someone, let alone a man, should distract you from your job.

Ace squawked next to you, breaking you from your thoughts. Is something the matter?

You chuckled, thinking about how your best friend was a raven and that he knew you well enough. You brushed him off, “Nothing’s the matter.”

Ace left the perch by the window and landed on your armrest. He nipped your arm with his beak before squawking again. I bet I know exactly what you're thinking about.

Stupid bird, you thought as you glared at him. “Shut your beak.”

Ace climbed to your shoulder as a knock was heard on your office door. You muttered "come in" before Chuuya made an appearance. He walked in, fashionable as ever, and closed the door behind him. He looked a bit fidgety and you had to stop yourself from asking him if he was okay. It was none of your concern.

“I’ve got good and bad news,” Chuuya said as a greeting, straight to the point, something that gave him a point in your head, not that you were keeping track of stuff he did that you liked.

You raised your eyebrow at him, motioning for him to continue. He sat down and placed his hat in his lap. Pulling a small bag from his jacket pocket, he dumped an assortment of nuts in a bowl on your desk for Ace. You tried really hard to stop a smile from covering your face but your lips slightly curled up. A point for him.

Ace hopped from your shoulder, squawking. I like him.

Your smile faded at his smug tone, snapping, “Well, no one asked for your opinion.”

Chuuya gazed at the both of you, “Does he not like them?”

“That’s not it. You had news?” you questioned, changing the subject.

Immediately Chuuya got serious and professional. Another point. “Yes. The good news is that we have a mission together. Just simple intel gathering.”

You were glad it was only intel and not a fight because you weren’t in the mood to fight anyone. That doesn’t mean it would go smoothly. If you weren’t careful, intel gathering could turn nasty incredibly quick. You stared back at Chuuya, “What’s the bad news?”

Chuuya looked at you, apologetically, “We’ll need to stay overnight and I know you hate overnight missions. The event we are going to is hours away and by the time it’s over, it will be too late at night to get back. Mori already booked us a hotel room.”

You sighed and ignored the fact that he knew you wouldn’t be happy. Rubbing your temples, you asked, “When are we leaving? I’ll read the files in the car.”

That’s how you found yourself, riding passenger in one of the mafia’s cars. The back window was open for Ace to come and go as he pleased, something Chuuya did before you had to even ask. Another point. You spent the entire drive reading over the files for subjects and information you were supposed to be looking for tonight. You could tell that Chuuya wanted to talk to you as a way to pass the time but you kept your head in the files, refusing to let him distract you.

You joined the mafia around the same time as him but you never interacted with him, or anyone for that matter. It wasn’t until you were both executives when you would be paired for missions and forced to get to know each other. You didn’t hate getting to know him but you kept the talk about yourself to a minimum.

When you first became an executive, there were rumors going around that you had slept with the boss to make it to where you were. You know, the typical rumors that follow a powerful woman. The rumors didn’t outwardly bother you, “let dickbags believe whatever they want” you would always say if someone asked you about it. But when you found out that the only people who didn’t believe the rumors were Kouyou and Chuuya, you felt a sense of security in your position. Kouyou understood the difficulty of being a woman in power and Chuuya. . . well you weren’t too sure why he didn’t believe the rumors.

“What?” he muttered. You must have been staring at him for too long because he was looking at you with a red face, embarrassed maybe.

“When I first became an executive, why didn’t you believe the rumors that I slept my way there,” you asked, blunt and intrigued.

He seemed very surprised by your question, stammerings, “I-I don’t know. Why would. . .”

He paused for a bit, seeming unsure what to say. You just stared at him, an impassive expression on your face.

He sighed, keeping his focus on the road instead of you, “Do you really think I’m that immature to believe rumors like that?”

You sensed a little insecurity in his voice but ignored it. You replied, “It’s not like I gave you any reason to believe I wouldn’t. You didn’t know me.”

“You didn’t give me a reason to believe that you would either.”

You paused, unsure of how to respond. Being a woman in a male dominant field was difficult and it seemed that Chuuya understood how baseless those kinds of rumors could be. Another point.

Facing the window, you spoke up, “I didn’t. Just so you know.”

“I know,” he replied without hesitation.

You didn’t fight the smile that formed on your face this time. You just hoped Chuuya couldn’t see it because you were facing the other way.

He did and he will cherish the image forever.

By the time you got to the hotel, you were significantly less unhappy about the assignment you had been given, not that you outwardly showed it. Something about your conversation with Chuuya in the car sparked something within you. Your denial of how much you cared for the red head next to you was melting away. Usually this would bother you but you had a feeling that Chuuya or the feelings you hold for him will not get in your way of your job, which brought you great comfort and security. It looked like Chuuya respected you and your work ethic.

Chuuya grabbed your guy’s bags as you made your way into the hotel and to the front desk to check in.

Politely, you greeted, “Hello, there should be a room reserved for me.”

The pretty receptionist gave you a kind smile and when Chuuya came up beside you, she gave him a sweeter one. She kept staring at Chuuya, making him blush, “What name will it be under?”

Haughtily, you replied, “Ougai Mori. It’s for my partner and I.”

Calling Chuuya your partner wasn’t wrong, he was your partner for this mission. But you knew that the receptionist would take it the wrong way, which brought you a little bit of satisfaction.

She looked at you with a forced smile. She handed you your key cards before dismissing you, “Room 115, it’s at the end of the hall on the left.”

You gave her a smug smile, “Thank you.”

You walked through the hall in search of your room, Chuuya trailing behind you. He walked beside you, giving you a look, “What was that?”

You kept walking, face empty, “What was what?”

“Back there, with the receptionist. You guys were being passive aggressive with each other. Is there some kind of woman thing I'm not understanding?” Chuuya asked, confused.

You briefly glanced at him and shrugged, only replying, “Sure.”

He sighed next to you but decided against asking about it anymore, knowing you wouldn’t answer him how he wanted.

Unlocking the room door, the both of you made your way into.

“Shit,” you explained. The room that the two of you would be staying in tonight only had a single bed.

Chuuya sighed next to you and asked, “Want me to go to the front desk?”

Not wanting him to interact with the receptionist, you shook your head, “No, we can figure it out later. I’m going to shower and get ready for the event.”

Chuuya placed both your bags on the bed and rifled through his, “I’ll get the garment bags from the car with our outfits in them.”

You were already in the bathroom in the shower when you heard Chuuya come back into the room. You also heard a little kawing so you assumed he let Ace into the room. A point.

You spent a lot of time in the bathroom after you finished your shower. In the shower, images of Chuuya were flooding your mind. You had to keep reminding yourself that he was just in the other room and you shouldn’t do anything unprofessional. Even if your cunt prickled with neediness.

Eventually realizing that Chuuya will want to shower too, you calmed your body down and left the bathroom. You had dried your hair and done all of your makeup but didn’t have the dress you were wearing. Covered in only a towel, you walked over to the garment bag on the bed.

While looking at his phone, Chuuya said to you, “That bag is yours. I talked to Mori and it looks like it was an error in the hotel system. He advised that we just keep the room as is.”

Chuuya ran  a hand through his hair, annoyed, and looked up at you. He blushed when he noticed that you were only in a towel and averted his gaze. He muttered, “I can sleep on the floor.”

You glared at the back of his head, “I won’t make you sleep on the dirty floor. We can figure out the sleeping arrangements when we get back. Now go get dressed, I do not want to attract unwanted attention for being late.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Chuuya replied with a smirk. You sighed in faux annoyance with a blush on your face as he silently made his way to the bathroom with his garment bag.

You slipped into the dress. It was tight fitting but not uncomfortable with a slit up your thigh. It was also an alluring shade of red which made you immediately think of Chuuya. For a second, you were curious how he would react seeing you in this dress but you shook the thoughts from your head.

You sat at the desk and mirror set up in the room to do your hair and makeup for the night, taking note that Chuuya seemed to be taking an awfully long time in the shower. You put your brush down and went to the bathroom door to ask if Chuuya was okay. But right before you were going to ask, you heard a sound that had you shutting up and blushing. It sounded like Chuuya was groaning and saying your name.

You backed up until the back of your legs hit the bed and sat down. Was Chuuya. . . masturbating in the shower? Thinking about you, no less? You were thankful that Ace wasn’t in the room to squawk and add to your embarrassment.

You were extremely flustered but flattered that Chuuya thought of you that way. It offered you comfort to know that you weren’t alone in thinking unprofessionally of your partner. Maybe after the mission was over, you would have the chance to talk to Chuuya about the possibility of expanding your relationship. But for now, you need to get your head out of the gutter and focus on your job.

When Chuuya finally came out of the bathroom, he was looking especially handsome in his suit. He stopped in his tracks as he looked at you. When he saw your crossed legs and the slit of the dress exposing your thigh, he thought he might faint. Red in the face he coughed, “You look beautiful.”

You thought it was really endearing that he wouldn’t look you in the eye. “Thank you. You clean up pretty nicely as well.”

You did your best to not stare at him but you could feel the tension between you guys building. You grabbed the necklace you were going to wear and placed it into Chuuya’s hand. “Could you put this on for me?”

You turned around, not waiting for an answer. Chuuya, ever so slowly, wrapped the small chain around your neck and clasped it. He pulled your hair out from under it and set it back in place cascading down your back. His hand lightly grazed your neck and you failed to contain the shivers that went through your body.

You quickly turned back around and ignored the butterflies in your stomach. You stared at Chuuya’s face, finding adoration covering it.

“Let’s go, handsome,” you announced, now nervous of your distracting partner.

“Yes ma’am,” Chuuya repeated, a smile painted on his face. You turned and walked out the door not bothering to hide the small smile that appeared on your face.

-

This had to be the hardest mission you’ve ever been on. Now it wasn’t really intellectually hard, intel gathering was as simple as knowing how to charm others into talking about whatever you wanted. But at some point you couldn’t focus on any conversations you were a part of, Chuuya having to pick up your slack, something that would have bothered you to no end if you didn’t feel the way you did right now.

With his arm around your waist, Chuuya pulled you to one of the tables and chairs scattered about the event. He sat you down and grabbed the champagne glass from your hands, “I wouldn’t pin you as a lightweight.”

Your face was flush and your entire body felt like it was on fire, “I’m not drunk, Chuuya. Something is wrong.”

Chuuya stared at you worriedly but you couldn’t stand to look at him. You could barely stand to have his arm around you and standing so close to you. Anywhere his skin touched yours sent shivers down your spine and the smell of him was driving you crazy. Vanilla and Sandalwood. You clenched your thighs, hoping to relieve the tension that was forming in your bottom half.

“Shit,” you exclaimed when you figured out what happened. Your breathing was extremely labored as you explained, “I-I need you to take me to the hotel. . . and lock me in the room for the night. Some. . . one must have drugged me, I’ll explain more later. Did you get all the information we needed?”

“Yes, we should have everything we need. What’s going on?” Chuuya asked, voice a bit tense.

He put his arm around your waist to help you up and it took everything in you to not moan at the feeling of his touch. You couldn’t muster up the strength to speak as he brought you outside and to the car. He started driving back to the hotel, looking at you every few seconds to see if you were alright. The way he was worried about you was making your head spin with adoration and your thighs clench with lust.

Panting, you replied, “I think someone knew we were there and drugged me as a distraction. I think I’ve been given an aphrodisiac.”

Chuuya stared at your panting and sweaty body, beyond confused, “What kind of drug is that? You better not be dying on me?”

At the hotel, Chuuya brought you back to the room and laid you on the bed. He seemed antsy and a bit annoyed that you weren’t answering him.

You put him out of his misery by explaining, “An aphrodisiac is a drug that. . . in simple terms makes the victim like an animal in heat.”

You writhed in the bed, sweat dripping off of you. You so badly wished that Chuuya would just shut up and take care of your neediest spots but it looks like you won’t get what you want just yet.

Staring at you, a blushing mess, Chuuya questioned, “How do you know that’s what you’ve been given?”

You groaned, annoyed with having to deal with this. Inappropriate thoughts of your partner were flooding your mind and making it almost impossible for you to pay attention to his line of questioning. “Because. . . Chuuya. I can’t get the thought of you and that pretty face of yours out of my head. All I want to do right now is push you down on this bed and ride you until I pass out.”

You basically moaned at the flustered look Chuuya was giving you. After a few labored breaths you spoke up again, “Now. I heard you in the shower so I know you want me.”

Unable to bear it any longer, you stripped off your dress. Now fully naked in front of Chuuya. He coughed again but looked away, “I would only want to have sex with you if it was because you wanted me to and not some drug making you. That’s not fair to you.”

Chuuya turned around and just before he was about to walk away, you grabbed the sleeve of his suit jacket, “Trust me. This is not how I would have wanted this to go but-” you paused, finding the words stuck in your mouth. You moaned again when Chuuya’s fingers slipped into yours, unable to contain yourself, “I really do want you Chuuya. And I know you have enough respect for me to not ruin our relationship or my relationship with my work.”

Chuuya stared at you, flustered and undeniably hard but unsure of what to do. You took the final step by pulling his arm, forcing him to fall on top of you. You grabbed the back of his head to pull him closer to you. He didn’t resist as you slotted your lips into his.

It was a ferocious kiss that was filled with lust, passion, and neediness. You ran your hands through Chuuya’s hair and down his front making him groan into your mouth. You tried to pull the belt from his pants but your hands were too shaky. You whined when he pulled your hands away from him and brought them to rest above you. He used one hand to hold yours in place and the other to undo his pants.

Chuuya chuckled, “If you need me that bad, how come you can’t even get my pants off of me?”

“Stop teasing, please Chuuya,” you begged, moaning when he brought his mouth back down to yours.

Chuuya got off of you and stood in front of you and the bed. He sighed, content, “I’ve been waiting for this forever. I don’t know if it’s obliviousness or stubbornness that kept you away from me.”

You couldn’t help but stare at the man in front of you as he stripped, breathlessly you replied, “A bit of both. . . But no more.”

Chuuya gave you a dazzling smile, climbing back on top of you. He laid kisses down your stomach as he spoke, “No more.”

You whined as he laid kiss after kiss on your body, wanting more. He finally took his hands and soothingly rubbed your thighs, “Do you want me to touch you?”

“Yes, Chuuya. Please just do what you want to me. I’ll take anything,” you begged, desperate to be touched by him.

Instead of teasing you further like you thought he would, Chuuya gets to work pleasuring you. Moving his hands from your thighs, Chuuya brings them to your dripping cunt. Slowly but surely, he presses two fingers into you while rubbing his thumb on your clit.

You writhed on the bed, holding back your moans. Chuuya wouldn’t have that.

“Now, now, princess. I’d like to hear who’s making you feel so good,” Chuuya chided, fingering you faster and harder.

“Chuuya, I’m going to-” you moaned, overwhelmed with pleasure.

He brought his mouth up to your breasts, licking and biting as he went, “It’s okay. You can come.”

His mouth on your body and his permission was the last thing holding you back. You came with a loud scream, convulsing around his fingers.

When you had calmed down and Chuuya pulled his fingers out of you, you grabbed the back of his head to bring his lips to yours. You made out for what felt like ages before Chuuya  chose to break the kiss to speak, “How do you feel now, princess?”

“I feel like, I need you to fuck me. Please, Chuuya,” you begged, pulling his body as close to you as you could. His erection was pressed into your thighs, making you whine in want.

Chuuya groaned and marked around your neck. He whispered, “As you wish.”

Before long, Chuuya was hovering over you and rubbing his cock through your folds. The both of you moaned at the contact before he slipped into you with ease.

He kept still, letting you adjust, until you wiggled your hips to encourage him to move. Any self control he had up to this point all but vanished. Chuuya pounded into you ferociously, coaxing you into a moaning and whining mess.

You were too distracted with pleasure to do anything but moan Chuuya’s name. One hand on your waist to keep you where he wanted, he used his other hand to bring your hands back up over your head.

He brought his lips down to yours to give you a lustful kiss. You struggled to keep up with his pace, too busy moaning, but he didn’t care. With how feral he was being right now, you would have thought that he was the one who was drugged.

Eventually his hips started to stutter, notifying you of both his and your approaching orgasm. Chuuya brought his hand down to your clit, rubbing in time with his thrusts. You blacked out as you came, screaming and overloaded with pleasure. When you finally came to, Chuuya was slowing down his thrusts, still prolonging the pleasure.

When he finally stopped moving and pulled out of you, you could feel his juices seeping out of you. You laid on the bed, too dazed to move, and watched as Chuuya grabbed a wet cloth from the bathroom and cleaned you up.

“I think that was a successful mission. We got what we needed and we finally slept together,” Chuuya joked. You cracked a small smile and chuckled at him. How could you ever think that being with Chuuya wouldn’t go well?

[forestdivinity]

Blitz & the Full Moon Episode & autism

I am once again talking about autistic blitz and just the Full Moon episode and this is a ramble but hh stick with itt?? I have so many thoughttssss but there are Spoilers so don't read if you havent watched the episode yet!

I'm thinking of how Stolas like walks out when he thinks Blitz is rejecting him and how Blitz takes that as a rejection and blows up in return. Like if they'd both just taken a minute to breathe it wouldn't have ended in such a disaster

From what I've seen, Blitz is someone who needs time to process especially in interpersonal relationships, and he's so sensitive to rejection & blames himself as soon as it happens but will self protect by externalising and projecting those feelings onto the person who's hurt him. Not saying this is a healthy mechanism btw!

I feel like if he had time to think past his initial gut reactions he would have been able to at least talk without screaming because we see he can be emotionally vulnerable like when he talks to Fizz in Oops! but rejection and feeling unworthy hit him haaaard, (like Fizz's birthday), and he reacts with anger first to hide how upset he is He's quick to cover up but I don't think he's someone who's that great at reading social situations as he projects himself to be, even with the candle shopkeeper he struggles to describe the mood and vibe hes going for. Blitz projects himself as outwardly confident because it's easier for him to have this facade than admit when he has difficulties in certain situations. In 'Oops' he totally misses Fizz's sarcasm when he's talking about Stolas and their relationship while denying that Stolas could like him. I think this comes from both a place of self-loathing & denial but also him missing that Fizz isn't actually agreeing with him. Emotions & words relating to them dont come easy to Blitz because he's autistic but also he rarely got the kind of support and emotional teaching in childhood he needed from the people around him. Like im sure Tilla tried but we know she was ill and that Cash is a dick who uses this to exploit Blitz (such as forcing him to steal from Stolas as a child) and I think that man has the parenting ability of a teaspoon. He's manipulative and even from a young age teaches Blitz that relationships are transactional (selling Blitz in the first place) which I think was ten times more impactful and traumatising for Blitz as a child seeing how he approaches relationships as an adult and that's even not getting into his self worth issues surround Fizz and the fire and Barbie. And like with Verosika happening… I want to know how old he was when they dated, how long it lasted. She has his name tattooed on her there must have been some emotional connection, but what happened between them to lead to Blitz blowing up again. What was their relationship like. It's said (implied? I don't remember exact words) that Blitz was her bodyguard first so that's another relationship that started out transactional! I think Blitz is emotionally a very immature character and he clings to structured relationships that he can push the boundaries of. Loona is his adopted daughter. Millie and Moxxie are his employees. There's structure and expectations to those relationships and he's the one who pushes for more and tries to develop them. It freaks him out when someone turns the tables because he doesn't have the rules and scripts in his head I think?? Stolas is changing the structure of their relationship and Blitz panics and tries to retreat to what he knows works (sex) which isn't what Stolas wants and we see the aftermath of this! But if what the 'you royals always do this' line implies is true he's been thru at least something similar before and is maybe falling back into old patterns and hurts when he perceives Stolas as rejecting him & his advances (putting his hat on, disparaging the roleplay, and leaving the room). Beyond the class issue and fear of losing his business when Stolas asks for the book back permanently the first spot where things go wrong for their personal relationship is when Blitz goes 'oh this is a roleplay' and I can just see the gears turning of him like just trying to fit this new information into the established framework of their relationship. Sex is comfortable for Blitz, the transactional nature of their relationship is comfortable and scripted and easy (he says this at the start of the episode!) and when pushed out of that comfort zone he panics. We see him panic!

I think part of him probably liked that there were certain expectations and structure to the contract before even if he complained about stolas being horny and like Stolas baby, I know things changed in you but the very start of your relationship is you calling him while he's being shot to like talk about how you want his cock. I love Stolas too don't get me wrong but your whole relationship is based around sex. Blitz has said to you in the past that he feels like he's only used for sex (Ozzie's!) and that's the expectation he has of the relationship. And like we know Stolas has tried to gently reach out especially since Ozzie's but Blitz is autistic doesnt do subtlety, like we can see that in how he treats people around him. He's brash and open and doesn't know how to read a room (like the first CHERUB episode he texts the client that they fucked up because he thinks people can't get angry over texts??) IDK people go on about how Stolas is autistic and yeah I can see that but to me Blitz is the epitome of the 'bad autistic' who is too open, too rough, too liable to blow up and meltdown and react with anger and violence. (MOOD BABYGIRL)

Blitz is terrified of change unless he initiates it and even then he struggles (see him trying to confess to Fizz). And like there's just so much about him that screams autistic to me. Like his meeting with moxxie when they're in jail and moxxie is crying and blitz is like :D HI WANNA BREAK OUT! Blitz doesn't get the social code and I think he's worked so hard to come off as this blasé 'idgaf' person when in reality he doesn't know how he should act in certain situations but it's better if it seems intentional because then people just think he's an asshole instead of a freak. The like 'haha we are laughing together' instead of 'you are laughing at me' (in a bad way). Like just, the whole scene with him trying to tell Jokes in The Circus episode and it falling flat and falling back on his special interest (horse facts!) but the audience finding him just strange vs how they react to Fizz. He decides to adopt Loona but he still struggles with connecting to her and respecting her boundaries as a neglected young adult and treats her more like a younger child in a lot of ways because that's his idea of like the perfect father-daughter bond and he doesn't know how to course correct. Even in Full Moon we see how he like goes overboard in telling Moxxie how he's horny and wants to fuck Stolas and Moxxie is like TMI don't tell me that.

JUST for me Blitz is just so relatable in a lot of ways. He is a person who craves connection but struggles with how to make that meaningfully so he has dropped himself into certain molds to try and fit what people expect of him but even then he does it in the wrong way. He tries to be what he thinks Stolas wants (based on their OG deal and past interactions) by saying oh this a roleplay and its a sex thing but fucks it up because Stolas is asking for change and he doesn't know how to do that especially in a sudden and unexpected situation. And he's someone who is highly competent but struggles so severely with emotional regulation and timing and social contracts and just idk. So so many of my meltdowns ended in screaming because I neeed space and time to emotionally process when something is Happening and if I don't get that (like Stolas assuming things are over and leaving when Blitz is realising Oh This Is Something I Need to Process) my first defense mechanism is to reflect my struggle outwards in anger and Blitz is exactly the same!! And again this isn't healthy but we know Blitz isn't healthy right now (in the trailer he legit says he doesn't want to be like this forever)! And don't get me wrong I know why Stolas threw him out when he started yelling (Stolas has his own PTSD triggers from Stella) but goddd boys you need to sit down and work this out calmly with processing time!! Like sooo many people see Stolas as autistic because he's quiet and socially awkward and nerdy about the things he loves which is a valid interpretation but Blitz is just my CPTSD undiagnosed autistic who has learnt the worst coping mechanisms because he was never allowed anything else and always expects things to turn out badly. Isn't it easier if you're the one to ruin things? At least he knows what to expect!!

Ughghg I have so many more thoughts but this post is already a mile longgg so if you want to yell more about blitz just come into my asks lmaoo

(Btw I love Stolas too and this is not anti stolitz, they are gonna work this out but Blitz is just my scrunklyyy)

[rayroseu]

source

ohmygod what about sunset savanna event first??? YOU ALL. 💥💥💥💥

Also im still in denial about this since its not officially out of the website yet-🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

But hm. Considering its just Part 01, would it end on this part of Book 7???

Please. That's so cruel... WE JUST HAD PEAK MALLEYUU THIS OCTOBER-NOVEMBER and then once the halloween months comes to pass, we're sobbing over MalleYuu Drama for December Christmas....💔💔😭😭😭🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

from @/081314

This is making me intrigued about Book 7's total length.... Why do I feel like it will take majority of 2024 just to be complete lol

Yana IS SERIOUSLY COOKING FOR THIS BOOK 😭😭💖💖💚💚

Anyways for my fellow Malleus simps... I hope we get Birthday Bash Malleus and possibly Dorm Malleus...🙏🙏🙏 We'll get it no matter what AAA😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️🙌🙌🙌

[fiftyshadesofmetal]

Do u have any NSFW headcanons about sunny?

WARNING: VALVEPLUG, feeder/vore mentions

Hi! SOO Glad you asked, I'll be putting it under the cut

Sorry for the lateish response, everythings been hectic lately ^^'

Okay so...

IDW1 Sunstreaker HC'S:

First off this mech likes to be in charge. After the stuff with the headmasters in IDW1, he hates loss of control, including during interfacing. He's def the dom in hookups and refuses to be tied/bound, but has no issue chaining another mech up to feel powerful in the berth. This is also why I think he prefers to spike with a fling or a hookup

If he's interfacing with someone he trusts, he doesn't love loss of control but he'll do it for them and ends up enjoying being a sub and being pampered- that's why I think he'd be a feedee or into petplay (both as the master and pet). The mech just can't get enough of being doted on and praised for his gorgeous frame, whether he's in fit shape or too stuffed full of food to even walk. He wouldn't naturally lean into giving up control, but when he does with a partner he really loves having his valve used

Speaking of his valve, Sunstreaker's interface array is probably modded and pierced. Mostly with girth enhancers on his shaft and a bar/ampallang style piercing (or a hoop through his head's slit and the side of the tip), and a piercing above his anterior node on his valve. Sunstreakers def confident in himself and his array, and I doubt he'd feel shame in the fact that he modded himself; to him, it all just makes him even more perfect and beautiful then he already was

With kinks, I of course write/draw him to fit my own interests but realistically? I think he enjoys bondage on others and petplay like I said, but also I'm gonna add oviposistion. I bet he likes the idea of being stuffed full of eggs and treated and praised like a king while carrying them (whether it's a fantasy in the berth or actually happening, he likes both. There are some GREAT sunstreaker oviposistion fics on Ao3 with insecticons ((NO BOB/SUNSTREAKER, ICK)). And probably edging/overload denial, he loves seeing someone at his total control and bidding like that, despretely begging for release...

For his turns offs it would be degradation, bondage on himself and cnc (Both from his time as a headmaster, it would remind him too much of it), and lets all be real, organics. Now of course thats if we're talking cannon sunny, I personally enjoy writing him paired with all kinds of humans or other organic species lmao

He's shit at aftercare. Like this mech can't do emotions and is so self-absorbed that he expects to taken care of after interface, even if he was domming and doing some intense shit with his partner.

I also don't think he would have a preference on gender; as long as his partner meets his insane standards (because not just anyone could be allowed to berth him of course) he couldn't care less about their presented gender.

I also am a big fan of vore but decided to not put that in here, but if anyone wants to hear my vore hcs for any of the characters I write for, feel free to ask!

Also keep on the lookout for a fic im posting soon that goes along with that one chubformers sketch of sunstreaker I did... perhaps containg vore? ;]

[seonghwaddict]

Hii

Im sad that nsn will be discontinued but i totally understands how it is for you. Im glad you are doing whats better for you, take care!!

Also, could you give the whole big spoilers pls?? Like the ending and the climax of the story and anything you wanna share cuz ill try to complete it in my head lmao

hii thanks for understanding, and of course i’ll share some stuff with you!

i’m not sure where exactly to start, but i suppose you’re probably wondering how yn finds out about the whole vampire thing, so that’s where i’ll start..

basically, you know how san has blood intolerance and specifically needs type O negative blood? yeah so there’s a shortage at some point and he doesn’t have access to it. over time he gets sicker and sicker but he’s afraid of telling the guys that he’s running out of his personal stash; he doesn’t wanna worry them. of course, once it’s too bad they obviously notice and he confesses it. whole of the guys travel around to look for blood bags, while the other ones stay and take care of san.

obv, yn has no idea what’s going on so she’s both worried and just like ??? through some connections, yeosang is able to access medical files of people that attend their uni (he paid a shit load of money he’s standing on business fr) and starts looking for people with that blood type, just in case. he just so happens to stumble across yn’s file in his search, who has exactly what they need.

after a conversation with the guys, they decide to admit to what they are. when the conversation comes around, yn kinda giggles and thinks it’s a joke, however after a long conversation, she’s convinced. and so after hearing about san’s state and what he needs to get better, she doesn’t have to think twice about offering herself.

anyways san gets better after that and the guys n yn grow closer than ever.

as for the climax

her friend, daniel, is also a vampy and is lowk obsessed with her but has been able to hide it alarmingly well. when he notices just how close she is to the guys, he tries his hardest to tuin their relationship and even kidnaps her (that might not be right because idk if it counts as kidnapping but i can’t think of a better word rn).

after like two days the guys realise they hadn’t heard from their fav girl in too long so some of them head to her apartment to check on her except she’s not there cuz she’s in a random cabin in the middle of a random forest with daniel.

throughout her stay there, while the guys are splitting themselves in half tryna find her, she grows more and more uneasy and tries to leave. daniel refuses to let her go and chains her up.

meanwhile, the guys interrogate her other friends to figure out where they could’ve possibly gone (they’ve alway smelled something fishy about daniel so it wasn’t hard to figure out who was responsible for her disappearance). sangmi mentions the cabin their little group goes to on some weekends, and then they’re immediately speeding to get there.

they kill daniel and save yn yay!

you’re probably also wondering how their romance ends up so..

obviously as time progresses, they all slowly but surely fall in love with yn and vice versa. for hongjoong tho, he was in denial for a long time. after the saved her he realised wow i rlly fucking like this girl and that scared him so he subconsciously distanced himself. he was partially afraid of losing her again bc he blames himself heavily for what happened to her and the trauma it cause for… certain reasons…

everyone caught on but the guys were aware of why but yn wasn’t cuz she’s a bit oblivious so one day she finds him in his room and decides to just ask what’s going on cuz she finally got him to look at her for the first time in like two weeks. she was afraid he was mad at her, and prepared herself for the worst, but then comes his 10 minute monologue confessing everything he feels and mentioning that the others feel the same way.

he’s crying but the end of his monologue and she can’t think of anything else to do but kiss him. anyways it’s a rlly cute scene i actually wrote it already cuz i was so excited for it.

and then after that they all gather to talk abt the elephant in the room and after a brief discussion they’re all dating and they live happily ever after.

[campbyler]

IM TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY NORMAL ABOUT THIS NO I HAVENT BEEN OBSESSIVELY REREADING THEM BEING SO BOYFRIENDS WITHOUT THEM EVEN BEING AWARE THEY ARE BOYFRIENDS (DENIAL SMH)

anyways this chapter reached the highest of ends of will byers being completely whipped and i hope chapters 1-3 (4 kinda too) will byers is relieved isn’t puking cuz of it

WHAT IN THE THEY’RE SO IN LOVE WAS THIS SUNI YOU’RE NOT GETTING AWAY WITH THIS I WONT RECOVER EVER

ALSO COMMUNICATION???? WOW PROGRESS SKCBSMJCNDCKDJXNXKCKSJCJDBCJDNCHJSXJ

hehehehe heyyyyyyyy 😗 it’s meeeee 😗 ch1-4 will byers is simultaneously whooping with glee and also throwing up into a bush somewhere SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED!

[cannedpickledpeaches]

GRRRRR DO ALL OF THOSE!!!!!!!!! im especially excited to hear what jade thought about their first meeting <3 i just KNOW floyd bullied him for getting extorted by a tiny human. he couldve just ripped their hand off or something but instead, like a loser, he let his scales get stolen!!! ALSO THEIR PARENTS TOO, like okay, 100 thaumarks really isnt that much to mafia fish, but why they would give it to him, and if they knew he was extorted, i get the feeling they'd handle it very differently than coughing up the money. Gotta wonder what Jade told them!!!!!!!!! AND the reasoning for why he was beached in the first place would be interesting!!!!!

fyi im the person that asked about angst in the series, and i was asking because i have to mentally prepare myself in advance to read it!!!!!! OTL it'd be juicy if Jade really did find himself in love with Y/N, but im mostly hoping that doesnt happen. Looking forward to any updates <3

Yes! There are so many things to consider when you see the scene from his perspective. The tweels have mentioned their parents teaching them self defence and their mother calling them often, so they obviously care about their sons a lot; but stories about the tweels’ childhood mostly involve doing something without supervision, so they aren’t overprotective. As for how much money they give their sons, Floyd buys expensive clothes but he has to earn money himself to buy really expensive stuff (his reason for doing the Culinary Crucible). Lots to infer about their parenting style 👀

Also, Floyd making fun of him would be so on brand sibling behaviour. Like oooh, some human girl stole your stuff? You gonna go cry to Mama and Pops now? You gonna throw a tantrum like an itty bitty elver?? Jade would try to strangle him.

I totally get needing mental preparation for angst! Here’s a spoiler alert (about Jade and (Y/N)):

Jade doesn’t fall in love with her. But it would be so juicy in an alternate reality where he does! Reader’s relieved that things are going according to the plot. But really, he shouldn’t have to spend time with (Y/N) outside of the events of the story. What if something he says or does messes up the story later? No, you aren’t jealous. You’re being pragmatic. It’s important to be thorough when lives are at stake, you know. So you need Jade to come back as soon as the story’s plot indicates the end of a scene. He’ll have all the time in the world to spend with her after the story ends.

Reader would be so deep in denial in this situation lol we’re rooting for them!!

I was going to sign off with thanks to “angst anon” but I feel like that’s a bit of a depressing pseudonym . . . . Either way thank you for your interest in the series! It makes me really happy to see someone enjoys it ☺️☺️