#also im so so serious about the yearning i want to have a family like that someday

[mightaswelljxmp]

bdubs is so cool hes the reason i hate describing things as content wdym this is content its so much more, it’s craftsmanship, it’s meticulous detail and love and care and deliberate thought and aaaa his videos are crafted so well, i love how he takes the time to explain his process and then uses a building montage not sped up to not only include us in the process but really emphasize that this is thoughtful art not just a build that appears out of nowhere. ugh if stop and smell the roses were a guy it would be bdubs. his videos are just so engagingggg and the humor in them also rules and i could listen to bdubs talk for hours and hours because something about his sentence structures and vocal inflections just draw attention and are so fun. what a guy. also does anyone else watch his old vlogs and experience a deep sense of yearning.

[quillkiller]

on my knees begging for more bartyrosiers

hello!!!! i would love to!!!!!

so i’ve only been thinking about them since yesterday (albeit obsessively) so they’re not super established yet. however i have a million wandering thoughts about them <3

first off. barty is already the kind or person who would unashamedly have twin fantasies and this obviously applies to pan and ev. he’s deeply obsessed with both of them and wants it to be true so bad. he’s been suspicious of them since forever and whenever he entertains the thought that he might be wrong he gets sooooo upset. he never ever consideres that he might be a little fucked up for salivating at the thought or ev and pan sleeping together. he will watch them all throughout the day just imagining them in every possible position feeling absolutely no shame

he flirts with them openly. makes insinuations and innuendoes but he’s not actually serious. byt he’s also sooooo serious. in a way it’s just the way he is and he’s not afraid to let it be known that he’d love to be in the middle of a rosier sandwich. he sees it more as if he’s dropping hints that he knows. he wants them to know that he knows. but he would also never actually out them because he genuinely feels so protective over them. he’s just so obsessed and envious and he wants in. so he’s being serious when he openly flirts with them both as siblings, but he’s also sort of not. atleast not as serious as he would like to be.

he’s so envious of their sibling bond. barty has no healthy relationship to family dynamics. he can’t fathom the grey areas because his upbringing was cold and devoid of love. so he sees the rosier twins and their undying love for each other and it makes sense to him. they love each other in every concievable way, being the direct opposite of how he grew up. so he’s so envious because he genuinely thinks that what family should be. the yearning he feels for the rosier twins is bone aching and all consuming

i like the idea that he ends up dating one of them. i haven’t really figured out who he ends up dating first because im a fan of both rosekiller and bartydora. but either way, he ends up dating one of them. he’s slowly but surely picking apart the twins relationship and sees this as a huge success because i don’t think either of them has ever properly dated anyone before. barty feels very special. dreams and hopes that ev and pan stay up at night sharing him between themselves. talking about him and whispering sweet nothings involving him. (spoiler: they do)

barty doesn’t stop flirting with the other just because he’s dating one of them. and the one who isn’t dating him is living vicariously through the other one. all three of them are plotting at this point. ev and pan entertaining the idea that they could actually live visibly even if it’s just infront of one single person. and they want him so bad they’re burning with it. and barty entertains the idea of being invited into their bubble. being their protector and loving them

i haven’t figured out how they all eventually end up together but to me they both end up dating barty and they don’t bother keeping it a secret. i have the image in my head where all three of them sit on a couch and barty has both twins curled up against him on each side, arms around them. i also have the image in my mind of regulus trying to explain their relationship to someone but honestly. he doesn’t really know either to be fair

people talk and speculate and barty and the twins are aware of this. they don’t care because people may talk but they’ll never actually know. it’s theirs and theirs alone. their actual relationship is for behind closed doors and that’s how they prefer for it to be. it reassures barty to no end. he grew up in a home where love didn’t exist as something other than blackmail to the public eye. senior cared about the public image only and how they were supposed to seem like a proper family. love was a costume the crouch family wore as something ill fitting for the public. at home it was cold and quiet and harsh and probably violent.

which is so interesting to me in contrast with barty stumbling into this relationship with the rosier twins. where their love and intimacy knows no boundaries, but it’s confined to closed doors. it’s to the public eye they have to restrict themselves, and minimize their relationship. the complete opposite to how barty grew up. and he finds it endlessly comforting to be behind closed doors with the twins and bask in their undying love that knows no boundaries

ev and pan will never ’date’ publicly. for many reasons, one of them obviously being incest lol. but also because they don’t consider themselves dating or even in love. they’re together and always will be because they’re twins. they already love each other because they’re twins. they’re a union, an extension of each other and their relationship simply doesn’t have any boundaries and never has. they want each other, love each other, are an entity who simply belong together— and now they also belong to barty. they both see themselves as dating barty. barty is dating them.

that’s some of my thoughts!!!!! they’re very very special to me and they’re consuming my every thought……. they’re all in bed currently, ev and and pan tangled up together, a mop of tangled blonde hair mixed together and barty running his fingers through it and not knowing where ev ends and pandora begins :,)

i also went looking for fics last night and found one that i got obsessed with!!!!!! this one<3 it’s a pwp and 900 words and ive reread it multiple times……

[suxkami]

YEARNING FOR COMFORT , ,

ft . freminet + gn reader

genre : mostly angst + a sprinkle of comfort

summary : you and freminet were supposed to have a friendly hang out session today , but something seems off about him . . .

administration note : hi there ! I know it's been a while since i've posted on here but I'm back ! this is just a silly freminet oneshot i decided to do for him bc he's one of my favorite characters so far in fontaine so enjoy ! :] (im praying this doesn't flop so please enjoy)

warnings : not proofread + emo freminet /j ?! + slight trauma dump from freminet (but comfort from reader in the end <3) + sibling crumbs for you lot + quite short

word count : 1.0K

written by pio on the 9th of september 2023 , !! DO NOT COPY OR STEAL !!

. . .

today, you felt like it would be a great day to go out with your friend freminet, you had felt like you two hadn't hung out for a while since last monday, so why not try talking to him?

although yes, it was common for him to be an introvert most of the time and you knew that pretty much from the beginning when you two first met. it wasn't like him to be distant from people for longer than 3 days, not a whole week.

you couldn't help but feel as if something was wrong. . .

you asked lyney when you saw him out in public,

"ah! , yes of course I have! but uh. . . lately he's been seeming a little off. . . like as if he's not himself "

well at least now you knew he wasn't dead.

you decided to ask lynette about freminet as well,

"yes, but freminet has been avoiding occasions such as eating, me and lyney's shows, and also sleeping." she said,

huh? he's been. . . skipping meals and sleep? did you hear that right?

now you really needed to see him and have a proper talk.

a few hours later, you arrived at the house of the three siblings. you knew that the two of the three were out hosting a show at the Debord hotel, so it just had to be freminet in the house. besides, you knew he wasn't a fan of being outside that much. so he had to be in here.

you knocked on the door, to which at first, the doorknob didn't twist. but when you called out, the door opened after a while of silence.

there stood freminet at the door, you could only see him a little because he was hiding his face behind the door. "Y/N. . .?" he whispered. "freminet. . ." you said his full name which meant you were serious with a hint of sadness in your eyes when you saw him, a frown found it's way on your face.

he looked so pale, the dark circles under his eyes, and his slow. . . very slow figure that was barely holding onto the door. "what- what happened. .?" you whispered, but soon freminet would cut you off. "uh, please. . . please don't tell my siblings about my state. . ." he said. "how long have you been like this fremi. . .?" you asked, "can i come in?" you asked, that last question took him a while to answer before opening the door enough to fit you inside. to which he quickly shut the door.

he gestured for you to follow him into his bedroom upstairs, but you quickly interrupted him. "aren't you hungry?" you asked him, that made freminet's stomach growl quite loudly. indicating that yes. . . he was in fact hungry, "i uh-" "no, you're eating. now." you protested, almost talking to him in a mother like tone.

. . .

it was quiet between you two while you made freminet something to eat, as he sat there waiting at the dining room table with his legs propped up straight and his arms off the table like you two were in the setting of a strict family household at dinner time. the sound of the kettle boiling, the stove being used, and the sink being used to wash some vegetables. you broke the silence when you noticed him at the table, and the sound of your voice nearly made him jumped from how silent it was before.

"you know, you don't have to be so formal just for a meal when around me." you said, it seemed to make freminet's tense figure relax a little. "I don't want you feeling like you're back in the house of hearth again. . ." you sighed, continuing to chop up the vegetables you were prepping after you washed them. but then. . . you heard the sound of. . . sniffling? or maybe it was sobbing?

you snapped your head to look back at freminet who was crying a little, it actually shocked you a bit. this was the first time you've seen him cry in years. but it pained your heart a little, you quickly walked over to him and pulled a chair from the table and sat next to him. rubbing his back soothingly and shushing him, "hey, hey. . . it's alright, im here." you said. comforting him throughout his sibs, "why're you crying?" you asked. freminet quickly wiped his tears and acted strong as he didn't even realize he was crying in front of you. "father says that people who cry are like broken toys. . ." he said, "Y/N. . . am i, broken to you?" he asked you. your heart only softened at this question, "you're not broken to me or anybody else, don't think that." you said, " i think. . . lyney and lynette are broken too. . . like me." he said.

thats when you turned his head to face you, "freminet, look at me." you said. "to me, you're strong, brave, and so amazing when it comes to being independent!" you said, "you will never be seen as a broken person to be, rather, somebody who can be fixed by somebody." you said. your hands were on freminets shoulders as you looked at him deep in the eyes, your words seemed to have some sort of affect on freminet as he stared at you in awe yet also in a daze. "I- well-" freminet stuttered a little from his crying as he sniffled a bit again, wiping his eyes with his nightshirt long sleeve as he looked at you again. "you think so?" he said, "yes of course!" you said. his face now relaxed a little as he was still forming tears from his eyes whilst looking at you.

"thank you, Y/N." freminet said, "for everything..." he said with a faint smile. "i really needed some comfort from somebody like you.."

"don't mention it, now. wait here while i make your food before your stomach grumbles even louder." you said before walking back into the kitchen, right in time when the twins came back from their performance. . .

[theinyshlobster]

a bánh mì for two by trinity nyugen [review]

read from september 1st - september 2nd

read for sapphic september !!!! <3

review:

spoiler-free!

I WANT TO VOMIT THAT WAS SO SWEET. also im on the verge of fucking bawling. i’m literally shaking trying to stop the tears thanks pristiq 🥹👍

i think this book really hit me hard for three main reasons;

i’m a fat fucking lesbian

i am fatherless and relate to a lot of the guilt lan feels about her parents & that familial need to look after the family

i very much relate to vivi’s yearning for home, and feeling split between two countries. my grandparents fled yugoslavia post-WW2 and have never told my mum or i anything about family stories. i’m so serious only a week ago i found out my great uncle’s name. like they say NOTHING about OUR history. only my grandparents migrated here, so they’re the only relatives i have, much like vivi. so i very much feel the yearning for knowledge and connection that vivi does. 

i had a beautiful time reading this. reading about lan and vivi’s blossoming romance was so sweet, mixed with their sight seeing UGH IT WAS SO CUTE. god this was such a lighthearted read which i needed!!!! the children yearn for soft sapphic romances!!!!

i think the only thing holding this book back from 5-stars for me is the pacing. this shit went by WAYYYY too fast. which yeah i mean that can be because their romance was fast but….. idk i felt like some plot points weren’t fleshed out enough, and for the length of this book either some plot points needed to be chopped or the book length extended or…. man idk i am not a writer. but like idk lan’s revelation surrounding her father’s death, or vivi’s feelings towards her mother all being fully fleshed out and resolved in one chapter meant it happened way too fast and was a bit jarring. the speed at which things happened emotionally for characters kind of threw me out of the book? like yes the fast-paced nature worked for sight-seeing, but for the character’s growth it felt too fast. i still fell in love with the characters, but i don’t know if i can get over just how… rushed this book felt at points.

anyways im really craving some banh mi rn catch me placing a cheeky ubereats order at 11:30pm 😋😋

[chichimarshmallow]

schmoochle headcanons !!

urgh im bored and i need to rant about my skrunklies so today i bring you some schmoochle headcanons,,,

rare schmoochle

youngest of the schmoochle family, at least 13-17 and have a height of at least 7-8 feet

mohawk man acts slightly more mature and tough than horned douche, horned douche is very silly and goofy and is just a very likable and pure boi in general but can get very serious rlly fast when arguing with their partner

one of them has a southern accent change my mind

and on the topic of voices they are very likely to sound like those young boys in anime who are voiced by females but with a slightly deeper tone especially mohawk man horned douche would probably sound more like namine ritsu lmfao

both are fluent in korean !!

mohawk is fruity asf and a lil more ahem seductive with their actions for example eating elongated foods like bananas and popsicles and long cream-filled pastries when they feel like it and it kinda makes horned douche cringe a bit but at the same time they don't rlly mind

mohawk man is also kinda a tsundere !!

they know how to play the electric guitar, very skilled at it also they're yearning to be rockstars &lt;;33 i mean cmon with a design like that u can not tell me it wouldn't be true bet me 200$ that they literally shred the electric guitar strings like their lives depend on it

again, with a design like that you can NOT tell me they don't wear chains and leather stuff and spiky bracelets and pentagram necklaces and other gothic/emo stuff if u tell me otherwise u lyin' also you'll prolly catch them at hot topic 25/8 no delays

to add to the electric guitar stuff they LOVE rock music and heavy metal it's their FAV music of all time

mohawk man likes rocky road ice cream, horned douche likes mint choco chip (my fav flavour btw) and mohawk man kinda despises them for it smh-

they're into horror games and horror movies, horned douche is a lil cowardly tho unlike their partner who kinda likes getting jumpscared and seeing their lover being a scaredy cat

to add to they're likes for horror they're also into the paranormal, they like spooki stuff like demons, witches, ghosts, vampires and stuff like those and will read about them

common schmoochle

oh now where do i even start with these two,,,

erm they are very floofy and perfect for hugging,,

horned dude is a chill and outgoing gentleman to be around and is a talker, and ponytail gal is kinda shy and not as talkative as their partner but is very sweet you might get diabetes, also they're kinda sensitive and horned guy's a bit protective for that specific reason

they're like the middle family members, young adults at 18-19 and can be about 8-9 feet tall perfect size to be given a big ol' bear hug by them hehe,,,

fluent in japanese !!

sometimes they'll go to watch the beautiful scenery of the sunset/sunrise while sitting on top of a hill or sumthn

ponytail gal loves wearing bows and jewelry hence why my design for them has their ponytail tied up with a red bow and they have a pink heart ring on their finger, their partner is likely to kinda spoil them with exactly those things, if it's pretty enough to look good on them then they'll get it

ponytail gal is also one of those kinda ppl that are easily distracted by cute and fluffy things, if they see anything that they claim to be cute they will STARE RESPECTFULLY and will even try to touch it; for example if they see cat *ahem* cataliszt- then they'll react just as how i described it

boba dates every now and then !! horned guy doesn't like boba that much but will surely get some for their partner who is a boba lover, may also go for sweet treats as an extra deal for their little dates,,

i'll have you bet me 50$ that horned guy is both a flirt and a tease and will use those traits on their partner just to see them flustered just because they want to and they think it's cute.

ponytail gal likes peaches, not too fond of the tart/sour tasting ones tho they prefer the sweeter ones. they also like strawberries but again will dismiss the sour tasting ones for the sweeter tasting ones

ponytail is also slightly touch-starved,, may require hand holding and headpats and snuggling from their partner every now and then which their partner rlly doesn't mind at all,,

try and tell me they don't like playing dating games i'll instantly disagree with u

as for their voices they will sound like uzi and n i can hear it everytime i look at them if you try and tell me otherwise then get out rn >:((

epic schmoochle

i mean ofc epic schmoochle resembles elderly love so ofc they're gonna be the oldest of the schmoochle family and i'm talking mature adults so they're 20+ years old and ofc i can guarantee they're the tallest out of everyone so they'll be about uhhh 9+ feet tall

in personality they are motherly and fatherly with their younger common and rare cousins so basically they're also the parental figures, they're also the same in personality when it comes to being aorund other monsters

married couple, that's all i gotta say !!

fluent in chinese !!

will sometimes go stargazing for their dates, they like watching the night sky and looking at silly constellations while having a nice chat

since they're made of chocolate and candy their hardness depends on temperature, if it's hot they're gonna start melting which could cause problems for them, if it's cold then they're good

having to put up with the other schmoochles' shenanigans especially rare schmoochle those kids be doing the most lmfao is kinda a tough job for them but they are able to make it work

speaking of that whenever the schmoochles watch a movie and an inappropriate scene comes up epic schmoochle are always the ones to shield their cousins eyes so they don't have to see it lmfao

art is a hobby they enjoy the most, they're good at it too

they flirt with each other 24/7 and if other monsters don't like it then they can leave &lt;3

pigtails has a sweet high pitched motherly voice with a southern accent and grandpa (sorry lmfao i had to i mean cmon LOOK AT THAT HAIRSTYLE) has a deep voice and a british accent

that's all i got for now and my boredom is officially gone now so waheyyy,,, 🎉🎉🎉

[gyubby99]

HOPE AND ISAAC ENEMIES TO LOVERS UPDATE IM BEGGING

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK.

Also keep in mind that this is out of order so I just write whatever part I feel like writing because- better than nothing.

"Alistar."

"Ella."

Two names echoed in the silence of the hall from within two feet distance from each other. Cold stares out-freezing each other that everyone else could imagine frost encasing the whole place. And no one would be surprised.

Alistar feigned respect with a bow, and so did Rosa with a curtsy. She'd yearned for so long to ask Alistar about the war, and what fiasco had caused it, but everytime she brought up the thought he'd dismiss it, like a hissing cat that doesn't want to be touched.

And Rosalyn, knowing her husband like the back of her hand, knew better than to push all of his buttons.

He must've had a reason.

Alistar then urged his kids to express politeness, even for a day they'd want to put up a show.

Isaac watched as Hope did a curtsy out of mere politeness, and that he knew. As if princess Hope could give two shits about respecting the Besniks. Isaac thinks that she's being pathetic and bitter about something that never even involved her. Neither of them were in this world when the war had happened, but it seemed like she wanted to clean up her father's mess and his name so badly that she would go on edges about planning on their downfall. Planning carefully. And Isaac knew to meddle with her and her plans. Increasing proximity as a way of tormenting her.

But deep inside, he pitied her. Hope was a great fighter, and each fight she surprised him. Her feisty and sassy attitude were like the icing on the cake. Though sometimes he was genuinely annoyed by her presence, he got used to the rush of amusement her misery brought him that he couldn't go on a day without irritating her. But the desperate trying and fails of her trying to be a bigger threat left him pitying her. If her father had been a better man, he'd not hesitate to make friends with her.

But that happened. He pitied Hope the same way he hated her.

Immensely.

And so Isaac did what he could. Be polite.

"Princess." Isaac greeted with a sophisticated bow.

Behind the young man glared a taller one, not at the princess, but at her father. The burning tension between the two families contrasted the coldness of his glare, and Alistar was well aware that the man from beside his former friend was staring at him with such intensity.

From the corner of his blue eyes saw Ella, squeezing her husband's hand.

"I see you have a family now." Elias' voice boomed, interrupting the silence. Ella looked up to her husband.

Alistar smiled, genuine. "Ah, yes. As you've all known and heard about, this is my wife, the queen consort of calvania, Rosalyn." He gestured to his wife.

Rosalyn then again did a curtsy. "Your majesty."

Ella nodded in acknowledgement.

And from then on Rosalyn lead the talking. "These are our children. This is my son, Asher, and this is my daughter-"

"Princess Hope." Isaac stated with Rosalyn in unison, him mostly out of spite. He was irritated that both of their parents would be around that he couldn't have 'friendly' talks with her. Sure, he wanted her out of his sight, as she reminded him of the enemy, but he valued manners overall.

Ella scolded her son. "Isaac, it's rude to interrupt someone."

Isaac bowed his head for a brief moment, before looking at his mother. "Apologies, mother." Then at Rosalyn. "Apologies, your majesty."

'What a shitshow' Hope thought to herself as she kept her composure.

"Apology accepted, your highness." Rosalyn responded with a bow. "I take that you two are familiar with each other?"

"Correct, your majesty." Isaac responded politely. "We know each other quite well."

"Quite." Hope's voice rung out, her daring blue eyes gazing directly into Isaac's. "We've ran into each other a few times that even the thought of giving a single glance at his face makes me sick."

"Hope." Alistar warned, serious, stern and slow.

"Apologies, father." Hope stated, as calm as she tried to be.

That was the only person Hope had apologized to, and this intrigued Emily.

Ella cleared her throat after minutes of silence. "Shall we catch up? I'm sure there's plenty of things to talk about." She stated, and everyone else nodded in agreement.

Isaac smirked at Hope, knowing that her feisty attitude and blatant rudeness her parents forbade for now.

"May I take you up on a tour, Princess?" Isaac offered to the princess in front of him.

Hope nods. If that's the only way she can get to kick the ever-living shit out of his ass without her parents' supervision, she would gladly oblige.

"Gladly. Lead the way.."

[dykeomania]

.   .   .   homegirl.

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: just saw ur post and welcome to tumblr lol :)) can i request an ellie x reader where they both confess that they love each other? i mean they were best friends at first and there will be a lot of gay panic and embarrasment lmaooo before they confess, just a huge fluff

𝐚/𝐧: babe wake up thelastoflesbians posted their first fic. anywayssss kinda nervous uhhh mixed emotions about this but for the most part i’m pretty like... i’m ?! satisfied. took me about a month to write because i literally could not figure out for the life of me what i wanted to do with this fic, but it’s finally done and i actually kind of enjoy how it turned out all things considered, so. i hope that u enjoy it!!!!!! ummmmmm!!!! first time actually writing like a fluffy moment, my smut is usually a lot more physically descriptive for . obvious . Reasons but yeah ok phew ok um yes read it and tell me if you like it (please im like actually shitting)

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: fluff. fluff fluff fluff is the big thing here; lots of gay yearning and longing and “girlfriend or girl that’s a friend” type of vibe. implied smut (it’s implied/explicitly stated that you and ellie have hooked up but there’s no actual smut), cussing, drug use (weed), you and ellie being ridiculously awkward for like 500+ words it’s actually ridiculous. little bit of sexual tension tbh. bad extended metaphors (i used to write poetry and it shows in my fic writing leave me alone). i proofread this three times but i’m also blind so some shit may sound weird 

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.2k.. slay

.   .   .   .   

there are some people who you would do mostly anything for. maria, who took you in. tommy, who has been nothing but kind to you. other friends, other family. and then there’s ellie.

girlhood came quick – unsightly and unprecedented -– and when ellie made the sound, sworn pact of best-friendship with you at the age of sixteen, you weren’t expecting it to become so serious. a bond originally mended from a mutual interest in comic books and backpack pins and video games and of each other’s faces – it felt only casual, like something that would age with time. but you made homes out of each other. at first it was just mere occupancy. i really like being around you. and then it was work. it was snipping through each other’s secrets and traumas, and patching all the holes punched in the walls. it was slow dancing under a roof far from perfected, and dampening each other’s shoulders in the gentle glow of fairy lights. it was stitching each other’s wounds, giving stories to each other’s scars. it was laying beside each other in an unmade bed. and there, under canopies of sheets and sighs, it was teaching each other how to kiss, how to give back. how to do it for yourselves, but most importantly, how to do it together.

when ellie looked you in the face and told you “i would do anything for you,” you were terrified because you knew that she meant it, but you squeezed her hand because you meant it tenfold.

you said, “i adore you.”

she said, “i love you,”

and then you woke up.

.   .   .   .

it was the day after ellie’s nineteenth birthday.

the breeze kisses down the sweat-lined trail of your spine cord and the shudder it ushers from you is like a push, headfirst, into all of your senses. you wince and your hands scrunch at the sheets, and it’s sudden, but you almost immediately still. you are awake enough to realize that these sheets – as damp as they are – are not yours. this mattress is too firm. this room is too dark. at first panic comes quick, not barraging per se, but tying your stomach in a knot that renders you uneasy. you investigate -- slightly frantic -- hands searching for just about anything until someone shuffles beside you, and you still. your eyes squint at the back of an auburn bun and a feeling begins to settle in your stomach.

this is ellie’s room.

beside you, ellie is asleep. the trailed spotted canyon separates both ends of her back, and it’s on full display to you.

she was presumably naked.

and so were you.

.   .   .   .   

you didn’t talk to her after, but you couldn’t avoid her forever.

hell took the form of a cafeteria serving line where she stood beside you, staring at your neck in a manner you had to fight not to give attention to. and you knew it was cruel, but honestly, you didn’t know what to say. voice your shock at her not talking to you sooner? showing that you cared in this instance felt forbidden. like it would be a dead giveaway, of which you wouldn’t be able to afford, as remarkably stupid as that was.

apparently, you weren’t trying hard enough, since you could see that ellie was trying to do the same as you, and yet failing miserably. her eyes scanned the side of your face; waiting. longing – for anything, really. for a second, you couldn’t see her and that was when she gained the most courage. ellie’s eyes scaled the ground as she refilled her lungs, and then she tried, throwing herself into the pool of sharks with a single step in your general direction, “hey.”

your head whips around, but something falling along the line of shock backs your voice. “hi..?”

“i haven’t uh, i haven’t seen you. like at all.” “yeah.” you nodded, “yeah, i’m sorry i’ve just – i’ve just been busy lately–”

“no it’s totally fine, i get it, i was just – y’know, i was just wondering where you .. were.” ellie nearly burns herself trying to spoon mashed potatoes onto her plate. it’s not exactly one of those things that you can’t make obvious. she wanted to die.

be cool, be cool you tell yourself. “i mean.. it’s only been a week.” you roll your eyes with some effort of a laugh, but holy shit, you probably looked so stupid. you immediately rushed to compensate for it. “but uh, how’ve you been?” you see ellie’s eyebrows raise as she peeks at you. small talk? she thought. unironically? fucking, seriously? “uh..” a breathy chuckle left her lips. “i’m.. okay. you?”

“yeah, i’m fine. i’ve just been–” “busy, huh.” “yeah, yeah.. well you just, said it for me, so.” you begun counting the ways in which you could conveniently die in this moment. there were none that you could think of. you wanted to slide down a wall.

as the end of the line grew near, you couldn’t tell what emotions were bubbling in your stomach. a desire to run was obvious, but something about leaving the conversation unfinished left it curdling. your heart pounded against your ribs, and you swallowed every urge that you had not to look at her. but that didn’t stop you from slowing down, from putting the tiniest spoonfuls of broccoli on your plate, just in case. maybe if she, perhaps, if it wouldn’t be a bother… please. please just talk to me.

“hey, so, remember uh, a couple nights ago–” ellie spoke and you, briefly, felt your stomach drop into your ass and your innards beginning to protrude through every hole on your body, until she finished her sentence “--when we were talking about like.. i don’t know, weed. and you said you’d never smoked and like, you wanted to. well dina and i just got a bunch and i can’t really smoke it all on my own, so like.. i was wondering like, if maybe you wanted to... come over later…” ellie’s throat was pulsing in the base of her chest, begging, literally pleading for you to say yes. dying. on its knees. please for the love of fucking christ–

there are some people who you would do anything for, and then there’s ellie. ellie, who would give her rib for your wellbeing, and expect nothing in return. ellie, who is your best friend. ellie, who you hooked up with. ellie, who you have kissed. ellie, who is the only one in notable existence who you would have done either of those things with. ellie, who at the end of the day regardless of how hard you try to hide it, you have missed amidst all of your confusion, and who you just want to be around.

“uh.. yeah. sure, why not?”

it didn’t seem like ellie was expecting you to say yes, let alone say yes so casually. nevertheless something treading a line of relief and acceptance crossed her face, one that she had to blink away in order to remind herself that she was standing in front of you, and to say something. “yeah,” she started, lips beginning to upturn into a small smile. “well, cool.”

“i’ll see you at.. nine?” you nodded and ellie lifted her tray and walked around you to sit with jesse. when she peered over her shoulder to look back at you for a moment, you met each other’s gazes.

she offered you a small smile. you gave her one back in return.

how genuine of you.

.   .   .   .   

“you’re not gonna cough – look, i’m gonna light it. and then you’re gonna inhale and you’re gonna hold it. and just let it go when i tell you to. yeah?”

“m’literally gonna pass out–”

“you’re fine. just trust me, you got it.” ellie’s thumb rolls back and the lighter sparks. the flame licks the buds of the freshly packed bowl stationed between your lips and you try to convince yourself that that is what stills you. nothing at all to do with how ellie is so close to you that her bated breaths just barely skim your jaw. for a moment, you met eyes. despite your previous interactions, you never saw ellie as a person who stares. when she did she would stare through you, too spaced out to notice and too abashed if you’d ever brought it up to her. tonight was different because ellie was staring directly into you.

it all was hard not to focus on - the way she was looking at you, timid but daring, as if her excitement could be explained by something other than watching her best friend take her first hit. the way she was leaned over, supported one arm as though she was going to kiss you, or maybe the position was just too fucking familiar. god knows how long you looked at each other. your mind abandoned the instructions she gave you.

inhale…

you blinked, quickly averting your gaze as you filled your lungs with smoke. your eyes glued themselves to the bowl, while ellie’s eyes alternated between watching the embers and watching you. she took her bottom lip between her teeth to contain her smirk, voice falling alongside the sound of the soft crackles and your lungs expanding. “there you go. nice and easy…”

for a second you thought you had it. your exhale begun slow and cautious, and you didn’t know if you were doing this correctly but you at least knew that you were still doing it. that was until ellie looked at you again. it was the smirk, and the tinge in her cheeks. it was every freckle and the lines of sleep deprivation and stress settled under her eyes, backlit by lamplight. your breathing tripped, and your coughs stumbled out. hard. harder than you were prepared for. you caught the sound of ellie laughing underneath them before she rose from the couch, and the sound of the faucet running followed shortly thereafter.

“oh my god,” you rasped, swallowing down what you’d hoped would be the last of your coughs. it wasn’t. you wanted to die, and for a minute, you actually thought you were going to.

“it’s okay. it happens,” ellie grinned, handing you a cup of water your way which you hastily accepted. embarrassment laughed loudly at you in the back of your mind, for you’ve made yourself look astronomically stupid in front of ellie on numerous occasions and it wasn’t exactly like any of them had mattered prior to this. this one seemed to matter a little more though. “that’s – that’s really strong,” you tried to play it off, hoarse and partially alive. “you said i wouldn’t cough,” you frowned.

“i never said that.” “you lied to me.” “oh so, i’m a liar now?” “yes! what the fuck, that’s exactly what you are.” you laughed. ellie plopped down on the couch and took the bowl from your hand, a shiteating grin never leaving her face. “it’s okay, it’s fine. you’re fine.” she took her lighter, flushing slightly. “that was fine. you did good. i’m proud of you.”

her words made your suffering more worthwhile than you’d like to admit. good. i’m proud of you. a self-satisfied smile twitched onto your lips accompanied by the warmth in your cheeks. you caught yourself rolling your eyes and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as the sound of ellie’s lighter flickered once more, only the bowl had been brought to her lips. you brought your knees up to your chest as you watched her. she withdrew the smoke slow between her lips and exhaled the cloud before her with ease. it was you, this time, whose teeth found their bottom lips. suddenly you understood the appeal of watching. maybe because it just wasn’t you who was doing the smoking. or maybe, more accurately, because it was ellie.

your eyes scan her for longer than you intended to, flickering between the bowl and her eyes. you have to literally force them away, now feeling the need to fill in the silence. “how long does it take to hit?” you tilted your head. “like, usually?”

ellie took a second to think, frowning in thought for a second before resorting to shaking her head. “not that long.” she rasped, going in for another hit. “but it gets stronger the more you do it. it’s not like edibles, or anything.” you slowly nodded, mumbling an “ah” under your breath at ellie’s advice.

“you get better with practice. you did better than me my first time, i remember when i first smoked with kat.. oh my god. i was like.. dying on her floor.” ellie snorted, and your eyes fell slightly. kat and dina weren’t necessarily sensitive topics, or at least for the sake of showing that you didn’t care, you convinced yourself that they weren’t. but part of you liked to think that ellie knew. because honestly, she probably did. nonetheless, an amused exhale pushed through your nose as you thought, airing on the side of caution with your words. “i don’t really think she cared that much,” you mused and ellie scrunched up her face, offering a half-way smile in confirmation “not really, no.”

you fiddled with your fingers as your eyes lingered around the tops of your knees. the gap of silence widened between the two of you, and in the midst of waiting for you to say something, ellie looked at you, realizing that you weren’t going to. her eyes scaled you up and down, a small confused smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “you okay?” 

you honestly hadn’t realized how quiet you’d been. you can’t tell what made you that way – the mention of kat, the fact that you are sitting across from ellie on the same couch that you and her (began) fucking on a week and a half prior– “yeah i’m just–” you ran a hand through your hair, stretching with a groan that you’d hope would act as a vessel for all of your anxieties. “i’m just uh, waiting for you to ask me if i want another hit.”

ellie’s eyebrows raised and she scoffed out a laugh. ”okay, well..” she lifted the glass bowl, pointing it towards you. “do youuu… want another hit?”

.   .   .   .   

what you liked most about ellie is how you fit beside her. how she always left room for you, but kept you close. what ellie liked most about you is that you saw all sides of her, even the ones that she herself couldn’t see, and yet you still chose to stay. her hand was fit to be undesirable - often cold, calloused and rough with the day’s remains under her fingernails no matter how hard she scrubbed them. but you didn’t flinch when she touched you. your skin brought warmth to her palms and she brought you the gift of knowing that she was there, and during these times, wanted to be nowhere else. between the sheets, conversation fell in gentle whispers. giggles were hushed as to not wake the peace between you two. it was just you two. and face to face, you were safe, tracing forcefields onto each other’s skin. she was soft yellow light. she was cluttered collectibles, and wrinkled, stained grey comforters. she was brown liquor, and the vibration of a tuned guitar against your chest. she is home; your homegirl.

ellie’s eyes were half-lidded, pulled under by both sleepiness and the influence, but she was still only looking at you. she looked at you when you were looking directly at her, foreheads bound to touch and barely a nose apart, and your breath tickled her upper lip. she looked at you when you closed your eyes and her hands were massaging your scalp, when your head bent towards the nape of her neck and she swore you could hear her heart thumping, spilling over in her chest. your hands had found the girl’s hip, thumb barely tracing patterns over the skin exposed above her boyshorts. ellie was floating, though she was still thinking, which was both a blessing a curse.

ellie spent a lot of time assessing the roles of the different people in her life. she didn’t dwell over the concept of loss, be it death or otherwise. but keeping people close to her felt like a timebomb. 

everyone who i have ever cared about has either died or left me.

she would never tell anyone but laying with you, staying with you, being with you -- as much as she loved it -- sometimes felt like a recipe for disaster. now, all things considered, she’d hate to admit that that feeling was even worse. she felt like shit. for a variety of reasons. she just didn’t want you to leave. “i don’t want you to ever go away,” ellie muttered through the silence.

you hum, nose rested in the crescent of her neck, breathing in the smell of just her; musk, deodorant, woodchips, weed. these words aren’t unfamiliar to you coming from ellie. you wanted the moment to last. you wanted to be as close to her as you could be. you wanted to hear the reason. “why?” you asked, a tiny playful smirk in your voice, evident once you lift your head to look up at her. you can’t really see her, but her breath fans over your lips. suddenly both of your bodies feel hot, like her hip is melting into your hand and your cheek into her palm. the sliver of distance between the two of you is paining, but neither of you move.

ellie bit back a small smile. her tongue stuck out briefly, passing between her lips along as a beat of silence settled between the two of you. “because,” she whispers, quieter.  “you’re like.. my best friend.” “mm.” “and i guess you’re my favorite person,” ellie’s nose bumped against yours, and you swallowed your breath. “and i would do anything for you.”

“you don’t even care about me,” you joked. your eyes locked with the girl’s before you whose had seemed to soften, like the smile on her face, but only slightly. “i’d kill for you.”

ellie is pure warmth against you. the concave of your hand presses gently into the protrusion of her hip, and you feel her lean into your grasp, edging closer, daring to do so something that best friends simply do not do. flickering between her eyes and her lips. ellie’s finger traces the curve of your jawline and you try not to shiver. it hooks, carefully, under the base of your chin, thumb massaging over its front. but it felt different this time. you needed to ask, “do you remember the night that we hooked up?”

if the lights were on, you would’ve seen all the blood fade from ellie’s face. and then you would’ve seen it rush to her cheeks again. you did see her bite the inside of her cheek, scaling your own face carefully in an effort to remain perfectly still – perfectly collected. “it kinda depends on what you’re labeling as hooking up.”

you weren’t expecting yourself to roll your eyes, or laugh for that matter. “i’m not talking about kissing, i’m not talking about heavy-petting.” you looked into her, a smile on both of your faces. “i’m talking about your birthday.”  

ellie’s heart kicks and for a second, she thinks she might have a heartattack. a beat drifts by, and she nods, “yeah.”

“and you told me that you would do anything for me?”

ellie’s brows furrowed. you could tell she was trying to joke with you, but behind her reciprocation, for the first time, it’s like you could see it in her face. “where exactly are you going with this?”

you were starting to feel a bit nervous. your palm felt clammy against her skin, despite it being perfectly dry.  “because i think you said something else, too.” ellie’s ministrations grew to a slow halt and suddenly you knew that she knew, that you knew. “and i think you said it while i was sleeping. and i wanna know if it’s true.” you felt so small under ellie’s gaze. ellie, who had not broken eye contact with you once, had barely shown any changes in her expression outside of the subtle lift in her brows. the most you got out of her was a recent, slow, thoughtful lick of her lips – the only thing she could offer as she struggled to pull herself together, desperately wanting to own up to what you’d suspected but at the same time desperately looking for escapes out of this conversation.

instead, she settled, trying not to swallow the bulge in her throat. “i don’t know, what if it is?” she tossed, cheeks warm and gaze wanting to waver, but not allowing herself to let it. as badly as she wanted to. mother of god, she was so conflicted.

your hand reaches for the back of ellie’s neck and your lips slot together in something soft, something familiar, but something so full that it makes your heart twist and turn. ellie’s hand takes your hip like it’s routine, reeling and winding as your lips slot together - slow. gentle. calculated. the answer to her question. “i wanna hear you say it,” you murmured against her lips. ellie hummed, it falling between the line of approval and disapproval. her hand was hot against your stomach – you felt like you were on fire. “i don’t want you to hate me,” ellie admitted, and it struck you dead in the chest. “i don’t know -- i’m honestly so fucking scared. i don’t wanna ruin anything. i don’t wanna lose you.”

you shook your head, frantic and eager, words bubbling out before you got a grasp on them.  “what? i could never hate you.” you hooked your finger gently under her chin, pulling her face so that it faced yours. you searched her eyes for any signs of sarcasm or anything. instead, certainty – and not the certainty in her eyes just a few moments prior. a more pessimistic kind of certainty. doubt. a hint of dread, even. “i could never. hate you.” you reaffirmed, and then you slipped; you were off the deep end, the words out your mouth before you could even control them, spiraling, spiraling, spiraling…  “i love you.”

ellie’s expression fragmented. her eyes met yours again, and something in them brightened, and then dimmed. like something had unlocked – unclicked, at the notice that maybe, just maybe, there was a little bit less to be afraid of. 

and so you said it again. “i love you.” you shook your head. “i love you..”

ellie’s train of thought is pure static. she can’t tell if she’s breathing heavier, or breathing at all, and or if she is nearly even alive for these are moments that she’d only really thought of. she can think of nothing other than you. just you, here, beneath and alongside her and loving her, and everything cracks and locks into place at the same time.

she leans down, grasping your cheek and kissing you like you’re an anchor. for the first time, neither of you hold back. it wasn’t chaste, nor careful. ellie kisses you like she’d been meaning to since you started allowing her to – deeply, with no endpoint in sight. your bodies mold, like halves slotting together, and heat envelops the two of you. it’s safe. it’s so warm. it is so perfect. when she pulls away, she is winded, having nearly given all of the life in her body to you.

“i love you,” she declares, lips ghosting against your own. your head spins as you catch her gaze through your lashes, bringing yourself to barely shake your head as you find your voice. “no you don’t..” your smile is sarcastic and suddenly both you and ellie are snickering, but she’s persistent against your lips. “i love you so much.”

“i can never win with you, huh?” ellie quipped, pushing a section of hair out of your face and you grin. “not once,” you promise.  ellie shakes her head at you. her thumb massages your cheekbone and for a second, she’s useless, now essentially smiling down at you as she shook her head.

“you’re so stupid,” ellie whispered. “and you’re never getting rid of me.” “yeah?” “yeah.” “thank god for that, i guess.” you both laugh and your lips make contact once again. it’s full of yearning and it’s deep, but this time, you take your time. ellie’s hands move slow, and time rolls over onto itself. each kiss overlaps and says something different, but as you spend the night parting each other’s thighs with your legs and breathing bliss into each other’s mouths, the same mantra gets underscored over and over again. i’ve got you, she says. and i’ve got you, you affirm.

there are other people in this world who you would die for and then there is ellie, who you would walk through shallow spikes for with no complaints because you know she would do the same for you. there is ellie who would fight hell and high water for you, and has, and will do it again and again and again, as long as it meant that you weren’t going anywhere. there is ellie, who is half of you, but more. ellie. your best friend. your girlfriend, you’d hope. your person.

your homegirl. just a girl. just a body, to which you’re a homebody.

homegirl, homegirl, homegirl.

[saturndivine]

Your Inner Child (4th House): Healing from Childhood Trauma

༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹◃ ۪۪۫۫

The fourth house in Astrology deals with comfort, home, and family but it is also an important house angle known as the imum coeli or nadir. The nadir pairs with your childhood and points to your inner child and what might have harmed you growing up. You can use this house to heal from the trauma that tainted you. 

Aries on 4th: When it comes to holding this ferocious sign on such a gentle house, the native had a rough childhood growing up. They might have been known as the abrasive or aggressive ones and now hide that part of themselves because of it. They want to be seen as kind because they assume that is the only way to gain love. To honor your inner child, you must remember that your passion, your heart, is beautiful. You are made of resilience and there is no need to hide your power. 

Taurus on 4th: With Taurus on the fourth, these natives have deep wounds when it comes to feeling loved and appreciated for who they are. They often had to prove themselves early on and now think they have to give, give, give, to gain an ounce of love. Please remind yourselves that you are deserving of love because you are you and not because of what you do. To honor your inner child, release what does not serve you, and welcome those into your life who see you for all your beauty. 

Gemini on 4th: Oh how these children had the busiest minds and the most excitable hearts! Why do you cover this part of yourself now? Who told you to keep your voice suppressed? Your innocence is refreshing, the optimism you hold for the future astounds and inspires those around you, do you see your power? Often these natives are forced to “mature” their minds and are forcibly removed from their daydreams. To honor your inner child, make sure you take a dip into those daydreams and relax in the pool of your own mind. You hold so much mental power, release it. 

Cancer on 4th: You were put in the maternal role at quite an early age weren’t you? It is beautiful that you know how to take such good care of those around you but early on you missed out on how to take care of yourself! There may be issues when it comes to self-care and making sure you are putting yourself first as you ultimately deserve. You cannot take care of others if you are not okay. To honor your inner child, take some time to sit with yourself, how are you mothering your identity? Are you being kind to yourself? Treat yourself with tenderness, stop being so hard on yourself. 

Leo on 4th: It must have been so hard to have your light dimmed at such an early age. You were meant to shine out like the sun angel you are but you weren’t allowed that, forced to live in the shadows of others or circumstances or just life itself. You are worthy and you deserve to be as effervescent as you desire. None of your light should hide under a bushel. To honor your inner child try to find what makes you shine and dive into it. You have so much skill and your confidence should shine out and stimulate others, you are an influencer. 

Virgo on 4th: Were you allowed to authentically be yourself ever? It pains me how restricted you were when it comes to finding your identity, so much so, you may even search for it now. Your childhood, to put it bluntly, was a mess. And it was a mess you were in charge of cleaning up, so now you go about life cleaning up after everyone to fill some void in your soul left open from the wounds of your childhood. To honor your inner child, make sure you tell yourself you are not in charge of anyone but yourself. You only have to be mindful of your actions and that is all. 

Libra on 4th: You aren’t in charge of making everyone feel good about themselves. I know in the past, you were the peacemaker, the peacekeeper, everything runs smoothly under you because conflict is stressful and easily affects you and it’s just easier to take control but sometimes it’s okay to simply release. Not everyone can be saved and you are not in charge of saving everyone. To honor your inner child you have to learn to set boundaries and not take on others’ issues as your own. Your energy is precious, keep it protected. 

Scorpio on 4th: Out of all the signs on the 4th, I worry for you the most. You have deep repressed wounds that tend to fester because once you open up, you may be scared of getting more hurt in the process. Please do not fear the idea of vulnerability, people want to love you, people want to know you but they cannot unless you open up at least the smallest part of yourself, you are blocking yourself from beneficial opportunities. To honor your inner child, you have to learn to be vulnerable and find the power in vulnerability. You are lovable, let people fucking love you. 

Sagittarius on 4th: I think it’s very cute how you joke yourself out of the pain that stems from your childhood but there is no progress in simply skimming over your trauma with jokes, why not analyze it? The planet Jupiter urges you to dive into what has occurred in the past as it wants you to build into your new expansive and optimistic future but can only do so if you stop fearing what has been. To honor your inner child you must welcome what is to come by dealing with the past by analyzing and embracing it. 

Capricorn on 4th: You have been old ever since you left the womb! You came out with responsibility and simply took it and kept running and running with it. You haven’t really ever taken a break, have you? It’s simply been go, go, go. So much so you missed out on your childhood completely! That sucks! However it is not too late to get your childhood back and I hope you know that. To honor your inner child, simply be a child. Whatever that looks like, go on a swing, eat ice cream at 10 a.m., dance in the rain! Give yourself that childhood pleasure. 

Aquarius on 4th: You were shamed out of being yourself for quite some time, forced to hide a part of you that yearns to shine, your eccentric and individualistic side that makes your own rules and follows them as well, and now have to find out how to navigate this part of yourself without overwhelming yourself with the possibilities of you are and who you can become. To honor your inner child, do what makes your heart happy. Im so serious, don’t think, just do, be impulsive! No more shame, only embracement. 

Pisces on 4th: You had such intense dreams early on, you dreamt of your future and your life and were forced to come back down to earth earlier than you like, yet your power is found in your subconscious, and to be stripped of that connection could have easily sent you down a dark path of unawareness when it comes to authentically knowing yourself. Now you have to search for something to fill the hole in your being. To honor your inner child, relax into your subconscious and find out what you ultimately desire from the life before you. Figure out what fills that hole.

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[dantelionwishes]

life is full of ups and downs downs downs downs dow

loredump under the cut. not kidding when I say its gonna be long!

oh shit you actually clicked keep reading thank you for your interest 😭😭😭

YOU KNOW THE DRILL tw // suggestive dont read ahead if youre uncomfortable with the topic of aphrodisiacs! 

MIDDLE SCHOOL 

before anything, I gotta explain he was born to parents who had an infatuation quirk (makes them hardcore fall in love with you) and an infection quirk (transmits a virus via saliva)  

developed his quirk late, since they usually get it by the time kids are four 

most people knew him as quirkless before the first incident 

in middle school, his class was preparing for a school play, he and his classmate got cast as the main lead prince and princess 

coincidentally, they both had a crush on each other and had a scene where they kissed

technically they weren’t supposed to, since its just a play, but one time they were practicing in private and wanted to try kissing “for real”

so they shared a super giggly cute middle school first kiss but well UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM HIS QUIRK HAD WELL DEVELOPED– 

BADABING BADABOOM YOU HAVE AN IMAGINATION USE IT

the only way for the quirk’s effects to go away is to come at least once or pleasuring yourself until it goes away

I DO NOT WANT TO IMAGINE IT BUT. IMAGINE BEING A TEACHER AND FINDING A MIDDLE SCHOOLER WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER AND AN ADULT IS FORCED TO TELL HER HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY LLLLIKE–

rip now that I’m thinking abt it, I don’t even think anybody would even kNOW HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY so lets imagine she painfully stays that way until they figure out how to make it stop :^(

there’s a big fight that happens between the teachers, principal, and parents of both parties 

of course the crush’s parents got mad and called their kid a fuckin uhhhhh sexual predator or some shit despite also beING THE SAME AGE AND NOT EVEN KNOWING ABT HIS OWN QUIRK LIKE HELLLO

obviously an incident like this is going to spread like wildfire but the principal does not want something like this to leak, especially since it was not on purpose and was a total accident 

the other kid’s parents and some teachers did not feel comfortable however, and sato was forced to drop out

but not wanting to spread the gossip about their son’s quirk and the incident, they leave the town and move someplace else

thankfully, the principal gives the sato family his good grades and a recommendation to a decent highschool for the trouble

they’re originally from osaka, but moved to tokyo 

this is where they start taking precautions with sato, basically teaching him to be careful with his saliva 

it was easily taught and learned esp since the mom was already like that around him and others everyday anyway!! she has to take care of her saliva-based infection quirk, after all 

HIGH SCHOOL

he got enrolled into a regular highschool in tokyo

no hero course, no support course, no business, just a regular ol’ school

if before, he loved surrounding himself with people, this was where he was forced to develop a lonely disposition to protect himself and others

at least his parents were very protective and supportive of him and they were generally a happy family!

but in school, pretending to be quirkless was just as difficult, getting bullied or pitied for having no special abilities 

his excuse for wearing a mask all the time was because his mother had a virus-related quirk, and had to be careful 

one day his dad was suddenly got really, really sick

the more he had an excuse to wear a mask because he didnt want to get whatever disease his father started to develop 

sato started thinking it could be his mother (but why?) the results didn’t say anything about an unknown virus killing him (which is his mom’s quirk), and that his father really did contract a strong yet very normal disease 

while on his second year in highschool, his father, yozo sato, died 

apparently, without him knowing anything about his parents, his mother, oba sato, was actually under the dad’s infatuation quirk this whole time

she realised she wasn’t really in love with him when oba had accidentally allowed a drop of her saliva to fall into the meal she was making him, making him sick, and therefore making him weak enough to deactivate his quirk on her 

oba, back in her college years, wanted to marry someone else but yozo, who had a crush on her wanted her to himself, used his quirk to make him fall in love with her 

so in revenge for making her put up with him all these years to the point of marriage and having a kid, she continued to do this to his food 

her quirk doesn’t make anybody sick enough to die, but it made her husband’s immune system weak enough to the point that it contracted a real, serious disease which he ended up dying from instead 

sato only finds out the real story when he graduates from highschool, days right after his graduation the mom confesses it all 

she does say she truly loves him, but can’t stay around him knowing he was technically “unconsensual love”

sato gets reminded of what his quirk does, and true enough, that’s what him and his quirk turned out to be (a sick combination of his mom and his dad) 

they cant bear to be around each other after that revelation and decide to just not see each other again 

COLLEGE YEARS

he enrolls into an education course, inspired by the kind principal who helped him finish his middleschool-highschool education when it all started going downhill 

sato struggles paying for his college fees esp since he doesn’t exactly have his parents supporting him anymore, nor any contact with immediate family 

he has a lot of part time jobs that go all around the clock, he continues pretending to be quirkless so he gets bullied, and has to deal with all that emotional baggage plus being alone so…….clearly my man is TIRED as hell 

his side job hustles include: convenience store cashier, bookstore attendant, bar bouncer, and rookie gym trainer (he went to the local gym long enough for him to get recommended a job as a trainer)

college was that point where he starts developing a hardcore yearning for a companion because oh my god hes so lonELY (but cant)

ANYWAY SO

there’s this bully guy who always picks on him in college (for being “quirkless” and a loner and overall a fuckin weirdo with a mask)

tbh sato doesnt really give a shit he’s so used to it but he doesnt have his mother as an excuse to wear the mask anymore, this is where he starts forming the “I have bad breath” excuse 

“口臭い” (kuchi kusai) translates to “bad breath” or “stinky mouth” so sato unlovingly gets nicknamed “kusato”

one day he’s walking around the campus at night and finds the bully with his gang cornering another quirkless student, with plans of assaulting her 

sato was never the hero type, and was about to ignore the commotion as to not get involved, but something in him moved on its own and he found himself face to face with the gang 

he confronts them, but the bully mocks both him and the girl for not having powers to stop them anyway 

SIKE BITCH sato’s able to easily strike the other two guys, knock them off their feet enough to be able to tug the to-be victim aside, telling her to report them, before asking her to run away as fast as she can

none of the guys want that (they’re all students) so they have a full on brawl (and this isnt hero academy, its a totally normal university so I wouldn’t assume these guys had very impressive quirks)

except the main bully actually has a pretty decent quirk (he’s like a kinda half human half dragon with sharp claws, scales, and dragon eyes) and gets to injure sato with his sharp claws, seriously injuring his face

a part of his ear is also sort of sliced off, which is how his mask gets accidentally removed in the process 

the dragon bully grabs him by the collar and starts angrily shouting at him for ruining his night, being able to do all this shit without a quirk and all and all other derogatory speech 

“Well? what do you have to say for yourself?!“ 

Sato stays silent before spitting right into the bully’s mouth 

The bully drops him immediately, about to angrily fuck him up for doing something super fucking gross but WHOOP WHOOP YOU KNOW WHATS BOUTTA HAPPEN the quirk works immediately and the bully is a TOTAL MESS on the ground 

Im going to TLDR this part cos its…obviously nsfw but like: sato fully embarrasses him in public (beside the bully’s two colleges nonetheless) 

sato stays in the hospital for some time to heal from his wounds 

fortunately, afterwards, the bullies all get expelled 

unfortunately for sato, he also gets expelled for engaging in bad behaviour, and the bully did say what happened to him (and the college principal did not want his…dangerous quirk on campus) so as to lower any incident, all four were expelled 

at least without having to pay for college fees anymore, he could fully focus on paying for food, shelter, and clothes 

minus of course the hospital bills needed to pay plus he got a sick ass scar from it anyway HAHAHAHA BSDJHJRHDHF

ADULT LIFE

he had a lot of jobs here and there, but was more or less doing best as a trainer at a local gym where people weren’t allowed to use their quirks and strengthen their body regularly 

a few years went by and he eventually shrugged off everything that happened in his final college years but one day someone familiar walked into the gym! It was the fellow college student he saved!!!

she became a policewoman who wanted to get stronger in this quirkless friendly gym and hadn’t given up on her dreams of being a “hero,” inspired by how sato saved her that day

sato never really saw himself as some hero, he was left many nights alone thinking about how easily he could become a villain with his quirk, so hearing that really made him happy 

he trains her as her gym coach and she eventually asks him to join her patrol this small part of the city from a gang that was currently going around doing crimes since he’s good at it anyway, saying she could use some extra hands hehe

so yeah!! he does this side gig with her where he patrols alongside her looking for gang crimes and such c:

AND ONE DAY. [WISTFUL SIGH] ONE DAY. HE FINDS SOMEBODY GETTING MUGGED BY A GANG MEMBER AND SAVES………A CERTAIN MAN–

thank you for reading all the way here!!!

feel free to ask for questions or for any clarifications 😭😭😭!!!!!!

[morizoras-cave]

Sleepyhead (Request)

MCU cast x gn!teen!co-star!reader, Benedict Cumberbatch x gn!reader

Genre: Angst, fluff

Request Description: Hiya♥️could i please request a teen x marvel cast were they always find her sleeping and taking naps everywhere around set and they confront her about it and she says something about having to take care of her little siblings because her parents are never arohnd do she gets no sleep. Sorry if its to long.❤❤❤❤❤😍🥰

Warnings: irresponsible parents, negligence, slight insecurity, stress

(A/N): sorry this is kind of centered around benedict, i find these mcu cast x reader ones difficult. also im watching a belarusian war-movie from 1985 about the holocaust. its absolutely terrifying (im very serious, i’d be cautious for trigger warnings). if you’re looking for a horror movie or something, search “come and see movie” on youtube and you’ll find the entire thing there (:

At first, it had been sweet. A testament to the insomniatic youth, if you will. In every closet, behind every door, and on every soft surface, you could be found in between takes, snoring away.

They all agreed you were probably watching movies or playing games up late at night, computer screen illuminating your face. Or maybe you were chatting with your faraway friends. Either way, it was almost endearing to find you drooling on the couches scattered around the set.

Sweet and endearing at first, yes. But then the feelings about it, the longer it went on, the more your mature and well behaved personality clashed with the idea of you staying up all night, the more the feelings about your frequent naps changed.

To the set workers, the coordinators and overseers of the countless tasks on set, it became an issue. 

“Where’s Y/n? We need them for the next scene!” 

More often than not, several people would be running around set in search of you. And of course you apologized profusely when they found and woke you, but it didn’t matter when you never changed.

But to your coworkers, the talented actors and actresses on set of this huge movie production, it was concerning. Because you were their friend, undoubtedly. 

When you would be pulled out a distant break room, rubbing your dark and drowsy eyes, mumblings would start among them. 

“Are they okay?” 

“They just seem so sensible, I don’t understand why they would stay up like that.” 

And then there was you. Young and unfortunate you. Just trying to do your best, trying to please everyone. It was impossible for anyone to know how much you were juggling with. 

You felt like a bird with a broken wing, still flying but bound to fall to its death. You knew it was too much. You knew it was only a matter of time before you broke. 

Most teens felt stressed with just schoolwork, and then there was you. Battling long set days and huge mounts of schoolwork. And then the family.

Your parents that never seemed to be around. They were both working all the time and often left you and your siblings to yourselves. The problems with that was that you were the eldest, and your siblings were too young to take care of themselves. You were the one left to bring home groceries, to make dinner, to bring them to bed, and to help them with any of their schoolwork or difficulties. 

And it was too much. Simply put it was too much for you. You had managed back when you were just another teen at school, but now you were in a movie, you had a JOB.

Usually you’d go to set and work your ass off, get home and help the kids all day, and then do your schoolwork in the night. You almost never got more than an hour or two of sleep, which was why you settled for small naps during your filming sessions. 

You were so stressed, and you wanted to be angry, because in truth you had every right to. But you were too tired and too busy to be angry. Too focused on your siblings and doing good as an actor. But you would never want to involve your coworkers. You thought it would be embarrassing and unprofessional to involve them. So you carried the weight all alone.

“Wake up! Wake up!” 

Someone was shaking you awake. You blinked your eyes open. A redhead set assistant was yelling in your face, grasping your shoulders. 

She stopped when she saw your eyes turning to slits, before widening to look at her. 

“Am I on?” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes. The lady scoffed.

“Are you on? Yeah, you’re on,” she spat and swung around, heels clicking on the floor, as she exited the break room briskly.

You were ashamed. Of course you were. You were so unprofessional and problematic. But you knew you had no other time to sleep, so this was your only option. The thought made you want to cry. 

Instead, you stood up and walked to where the scene would be filmed, through several hallways and technical rooms, before you arrived to the large set. 

Benedict, Robert, Tom (Holland), Chris (Pratt), Pom, and Dave were all gathered and ready to film. Your face was on fire, so you avoided their gazes, and just got into position to film the next scene. 

Benedict and Robert exchanged glances as you yawned, but before they could talk to you (as it seemed everyone was getting fed up with your constant sleepiness) the director yelled “action”, and the acting resumed. 

You all did the scene and you, surprisingly, did okay for having woken up about five minutes earlier. You continued doing several scenes for the movie all together, going through about three full scenes.

When the director was satisfied, everyone started scattering. You, rubbing your tired eyes, was already beelining for the break room, hoping to see an empty couch for you to crash.

However, before you could sneak off to catch some z’s, you felt a firm hand on your shoulder. You blinked, turning around and gazing at the person who had grabbed your shoulder. It was Benedict, Robert, Tom and Chris not fat behind him. He had a stern look on his face. 

“Y/n, we need to talk.”

“Yeah, sure, what’s up?” your tone was casual, or perhaps too exhausted to express any real emotion, but inside you felt your stomach churn with anxiety. 

“Why are you always sleeping?” Robert chimed in. 

“Yeah, because if you’re up watching Youtube or whatever, you probably shouldn’t!” Tom said.

“Not that we’re assuming that that’s what you’re doing! It’s just- You know..,” Chris explained, voice full of panic.

You smiled softly. You recognized that they were coming from a place of worry. Then, your heart sunk slightly. You could cry. Again. Over the thought of your lack of time and your endless responsibilities. 

“It’s nothing serious, it’s just..” you trailed off, trying to figure out how you could make it sound less sad. Things always sounded worse when spoken out loud, you found. “I have two siblings, and my parents are never around, so I’m kind of the person taking care of them.” 

Your coworkers in front of you fell silent. You could see it on their faces. They didn’t like it. 

“You?” Robert said finally, and you just nodded. 

“So, you’re doing a movie, doing school, and taking care of your siblings at the same time?” Benedict repeated slowly, and once again you just nodded. There was nothing more to say. 

“Why aren’t your parents there?” Chris asked in his serious-unserious voice. 

“They’re working a lot,” you mumbled, disliking the collective attention on you. The thought of the couch made you yearn for some rest. You could tell that there were many things they wanted to do in that moment. They wanted to fix it all. 

“Can’t you tell them you don’t have time?” 

“I’ve tried that already. They say they don’t have a choice,” to this, both Robert and Benedict scoffed and shook their heads. You just watched with heavy eyes. 

“Alright. Here’s what’s going to happen,” Benedict said quietly, eyes boring into yours, “I’m going to call a nanny to look after your siblings for a couple of days, don’t worry I’ll pay. You’re going to back to the hotel and sleep for at least 10 hours. When you’ve done that, and only when you’ve done that, will we talk about how we’ll move forward with your parents.” 

You were quiet. You couldn’t stand up to your parents like Benedict wanted you to. You just couldn’t. They were busy and that was understandable. 

Although, you had to admit, the thought of sleeping for 10 hours was enticing. Heck, worst case scenario, you could settle for 5! Your tiredness was like heavy cuffs and chains on your body, and Benedict stood with the shining, golden key right in front of you. 

“Benedict, I- I can’t do that to my parents-”

“No, your parents can’t do this to you! This is absolutely outrageous!” He was frustrated you could tell. Robert seemed upset too, while Tom and Chris stepped back and let the adults handle it. Though, they seemed sad for you. 

You went quiet. 

“I just-” 

“I don’t want to hear another word about how they’re somehow excused for their behavior. This is negligence, Y/n! This is too much for you and you know it! You’re exhausted and it’s so painful to see, so please. Just take me up on this.”

You sighed.

“Alright, then.” you said, body finally giving in to the attractive offer. Benedict’s face carried the ghost of a satisfied smile, before going back to the stone cold determination. 

You drove to the hotel in Robert’s car and they booked you an extra room, knowing that your siblings occupied the other one. As soon as you could fall back on the bed, you were gone, body screaming for rest. 

You woke up 14 hours later, feeling happier, brighter and well-rested. That feeling had been forgotten by you, but it was alright, you decided. Every inch of you blossomed with energy now. 

As promised, Benedict had ordered a nanny for your siblings (the nanny was a lovely human being, and simply amazing with kids). Benedict, Robert, Chris and Tom has split the bill. 

You called him when you woke up, and he dragged you to a restaurant, where the two of you had a long, long talk about why what your parents were doing was serious and unacceptable. He could tell he needed to explain it to you, because you, like many children, were ready to defend your parents’ at all costs. 

Needless to say, after Benedict’s advice you didn’t have to go through that kind of thing again. You settled it with your parents (as well as your siblings), and after that you were so grateful that Benedict helped you out of that responsibility, because it wasn’t yours to have. 

Benedict was just happy to help, the memory of seeing you sleep everywhere, now less endearing and simply painful. He didn’t like thinking about it, and so he tried not to, but rather focused on your laughter and bright smile. In truth, that’s the only thing that really mattered. 

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @eviemarvel @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun

[omegalomania]

I think tumblr ate my ask or it just didn't sent but what are your favorite Bastille songs / what are some songs you recommend?

i did NOT get this ask im very sorry anon.

it's genuinely hard for me to narrow down cause bastille is pretty up there in terms of favorite artists. i love all their shit, but a special mention goes out to their second studio album wild world since it's the one that made me a Fan

uh so here's a primer i guess i spent too much time on this lmao.

if you wanna listen to their big hits:

flaws - their first single in the uk. if you ever listened to ship playlists on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 then you've probably heard this song or a variant on it at some point.

pompeii - this is the song that really put them on the map and you definitely know it. it dominated the charts all over the place.

happier - the marshmello song that you've definitely heard before too. i think bastille wrote this for justin bieber or some shit but then decided they liked it too much to give it to him? lmao. anyway if you're not digging the version you hear on the radio all the time i recommend trying the stripped down version

good grief - their big hit off their second album. big in the uk, didn't really make as many waves elsewhere, but it's a really solid song anyway. one of those "upbeat tunes that's actually really fucking sad" ones

things we lost in the fire - another one off their first album. if you live in a wildfire area this might not be one to turn to. or maybe you'll find it cathartic idk i certainly do!!

quarter past midnight - a song about escapism, as was fitting when it was released in 2018 and equally fitting now. running away for a night of fucking around with friends, craving any kind of brief departure from the chaos of the modern world

skulls - this one was not a hit or a single and is technically a bonus track but i'm including it because once again if you ever clicked on a ship playlist on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 you've heard this one. and you know what that was justified this one is also good

if you wanna feel existentially depressed:

their whole discography. i mean i kid but i also don't. that's just kind of how bastille does it. BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS ones that hit me in particular would beeee

two evils - kind of a grim, haunting one introspecting about morality of the self.

oblivion - musing about the afterlife, love, and how time changes all of us.

those nights - contemplating what it is we seek when we plunge into reckless escapism, and the inherent loneliness of it; how even when surrounded by people there's still the pressure of the world outside, continuously coming to pieces

the draw - this one was written about the pull of pursuing a career in music vs. staying home with family and friends. in a broader sense, it can apply to a lot of things. i always felt it resonated with feelings of paranoia and displacement

winter of our youth - discusses childhood, nostalgia, and regret. if it feels like everything's slipping away, is it easier to relive the past, especially if the past is tinted rose?

sleepsong - loneliness, desperation, and the cyclical, abyss-like nature of all it encapsulates

if you want discussion of serious topics:

final hour - a bonus track off their second album that also became a bonus track off their third album? anyway this song talks about climate change and gun control. happy stuff

doom days - this one talks about, uh, everything! doomscrolling, political divides, escalating national tensions, climate change again, etc.

the currents - a song centered on political rhetoric and the power that figureheads have over the masses, the way they can orchestrate hate. basically it's not so subtly aimed at donald trump lmao, dan's literally sung it as much in a few live settings

WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? - social media addiction and the way capitalism and corporate interests have annexed our online experiences, fighting desperately for our attention as they seek to monetize every available aspect of our lives

four walls (the ballad of perry smith) - well this one is about uh. perry smith. who was charged with the death penalty for killing 4 people in the late 50's. but it's less directly about him and more a discussion of the morality of the death penalty and capital punishment

snakes - burgeoning anxieties and the impulse to turn to easy outs, like ignorance or alcoholism, to escape the world's global problems

if you want some pop culture sprinkled on top:

icarus - greek mythology. i like this one because it addresses something that i feel isn't addressed enough in discussions of this myth, which is that icarus is a very young lad. less about the pride of the fall, and more about the inherent tragedy of that.

laura palmer - the whole song is a david lynch shoutout. i've never seen twin peaks myself but the song still slaps.

daniel in the den - christian mythology. discusses the biblical tale of daniel in the lion's den and links that up to themes of betrayal and family.

poet - this one's a double feature, referencing both william shakespeare's sonnet 18 and edmund spencer's sonnet 75. also one of my favorites.

send them off! - this is another one of my favorites of theirs. it's also been described by dan as "othello meets the exorcist" and it very much delivers there

if you want something uplifting:

joy - while bastille (understandably) has a bit of reputation as a band that makes sad music about sad things, they've definitely got some happier songs in their catalogue. pun intended cha ching. this one's one of their more straightforwardly happy tunes

survivin' - this was a song they wrote while they were touring and then felt weird about releasing once the panini hit because it felt a bit on the nose. they ended up releasing it anyway and i am so glad they did cause it's a mood

act of kindness - the "happy" part here is debatable but i'm gonna include it anyway. it’s when someone does something nice for you and that impulse Changes you way down deep you know???

warmth - one of those "the world's going to shit but at least we have each other" kinds of tunes

the anchor - one of those "the world's going to shit but you're the one fucking thing that's still keeping me here" kinds of tunes

give me the future - their latest single as of this writing and one of the more optimistic tracks in their catalogue imo! it's yearning, but it's also with a genuine hope for the future.

and LASTLY. because im going to take every chance i can to plug this band. im going to throw some collabs and covers at you because there's one thing this band does SUPER well and it's collabs and covers.

of the night - this is the big one. it mashes up rhythm of the night by corona and rhythm is a dancer by SNAP! and it's so good they still do this one live and it goes off every time.

no angels - a mashup of "no scrubs" by TLC and "angels" by the xx, poured into a strangely mournful tune with clips from the hitchcock movie psycho. doesn't sound like it should work but it does. kinda really does.

torn apart - with GRADES and lizzo no less!!! it's got two parts but they're both excellent listen to them both

weapon - collab with angel haze, dan priddy, and F*U*G*Z and one of my absolute favorites

remains - remix of their song "skulls" but featuring rag'n'bone man and skunk anansie that adds an entire new dimension to the song, really fucking excellent

old town road mashup - lil nas x's old town road meets lizzo's good as hell meets radiohead's talk show host meets talking heads' road to nowhere meets the osmond's crazy horse. "what the fuck that shouldn't work" i KNOW and yet here it is!! BLATANTLY BANGING!!!

we can't stop - one of the few times dan smith subtly changes the lyrics of the song he's covering (most of the time he opts to keep the original pronouns and the like, which is very nice to see). anyway this one mixes miley cyrus's we can't stop with eminem's lose yourself and billy ray cyrus's achy breaky heart. and also the lion king's i just can't wait to be king is there. yes i know it sounds batshit especially because the whole thing is surprisingly melodic and heartfelt and you know what it works.

anyone but me x nightmares - mashing up joy crookes' anyone but me with easy life's nightmares and absolutely one of my favorites.

bad guy mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "bad" in the title? we've got bad guy (billie eilish), bad decisions (bastille), bad romance (lady gaga), and bad blood (taylor swift). bastille even has a song called bad blood and they didnt use it. they used taylor swift's version. also the distinctive guitar riff from dick dale's misirlou is there.

somebody mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "some" in the title? someone like you (adele), somebody told me (the killers), somebody to love (queen), use somebody (kings of leon), and someone you loved (lewis capaldi). seriously these guys take mashups to a new level.

final song - this is a cover of MØ's final song. it also adds in craig david's 7 days and, impossibly enough, europe's final countdown. how does it work. how.

ALL RIGHT. THATS ALL IVE GOT IN ME. HOPE THIS HELPED ANON AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH

[furiosity-wills-the-cat]

Chara, the fourth Blook cousin:

A crack theory that accidentally become way more serious than it should have because it somehow, despite my best efforts, ended up making sense

Brought to you by my idiot conspiracy brain (affectionate) and by encouragement from my Tumblr followers

Under the cut for the sake of your dashes and sanity

Ok here we go my very elaborate accidental theory, because in order to answer the complex questions simply you must first make simple things more complex or something

First, you need to know that Chara became a Blook cousin by adoption.

All of the Blooks are adopted.

Ghosts are not born into families, they make their own.

Got it? Great, because we’re about to start running

so first, im gonna make surprisingly uncommon claim in this fandom, and I am going to say that undertale ghosts are all dead

I’m taking the tiny details we know about ghosts and sprinting with them to new places

Ghosts also do not have souls I decided

Undertale souls do not work the same as souls in traditional mythology

So every ghost is soulless Unless and Until they become corporeal

Evidence: Monster souls cant exist without bodies, and ghosts are monsters, therefore ghosts cannot have souls without bodies

Further evidence: Asriel doesnt steal blooky’s soul, blooky is unkillable, we have no concrete evidence that blooky has a soul

What about mettaton? He only has a soul after he has completely committed to being corporeal and to a specific body.

Also maddy and mettaton are both only killable while corporeal

Im also connecting the dots we have about souls in a new creative way so let me live for a second

Additionally, i am going to claim that there are a lot more ghosts than just the blooks, some evidence given below

Theres like actual scientific knowlege of ghosts in the undertale verse which seems unlikely if theres literally only three or four

The underground is so much bigger than you think, theres that giant forest in snowdin, a large town in the ruins, the huge city of new home, who knows how much space in the large open areas of waterfall etc. Its really really big okay

Also based off evidence of blooky, we can conclude that ghosts can turn invisible whenever they want to and/or haunt objects to hide

So I personally think that ghosts are, generally speaking, extremely reclusive

And the blooks are just a special exception, a beautiful family, amazing for them

So anyway im going with typical ghost lore for now, for the sake of ease, so im gonna say ghosts generally come from monsters who are particularly restless or unsatisfied when they die

HOWEVER i dont think they remember being monsters or anything before being a ghost. They just kinda fizzle into existance with a fully formed personality and immortality while being unkillable and feeling vaguely uneasy

ALSO i personally think that chara was a ghost for a long time before they became a blook by adoption

Based on game lore, i think ghosts can possess any inanimate object and just kinda wear it? But it takes a lot of strong emotion to become corporeal

And chara is the super weird exception because they were a human not a monster.

They dont have a soul (i headcanon that their soul got destroyed when asriel died)

And they KNOW this, which is a huge part of why they kinda just... give up

Because they lost their ability to fulfill prophecy

Also, without a soul, they lost their ability to reset, so for the first time since falling underground, theyre subject to the relentless march of time

But theyre still weirdly strong and powerful and more emotional

ALSO they DO still remember being a human but they catch on pretty quickly that other ghosts dont have memories and because chara is stupid they just lie to fit in

Theyre too tired to explain themself, they just want to be alone and feel awful

Now back to ghost lore

Emotions are a lot harder for ghosts??? I decided

And they dont know why,, they tend to blame it on the soul thing

But realistically its actually more of the immortality thing making actions not have consequences and/or or not having a body so they cant have a sense of touch or have physical effects of emotion

They all know that ghosts just tend to be way more floaty and bored and numb

And thats part of why the blooks are so special

Maddy’s rage and Mettaton’s yearning and Napstablook’s misery are like... not great all of the time...

but theyre also way way more emotion than most ghosts have,,, they are just a family supporting each other, being as functional as they can,, just an emo(tional) ghost family

most ghosts barely do anything except like stare at walls but the blooks have their snail farm and that helps them have purpose and it is good

And they hold each other accountable and it is nice

So anyway chara just chills and is in a depression coma for a few decades before the blooks find them and are like “our child/baby cousin”

and they raise them for a cool minute

They are all very protective of the new baby emo blook

And chara doesnt get therapy but at the very least they once again have a family, and they decide they want to try to become corporeal eventually just like mtt and maddy

So anyway chara starts hanging out in the ruins a lot more and they finally tell the blooks theyre leaving to go become corporeal in the ruins

This is actually because they are trying to hang out with toriel

because they miss their mom ;;

but chara’s not gonna admit that to anyone, especially not to themself

And because theyre still repressing their emotions constantly and pretending to be fine, they cant become corporeal

And they hang out in the ruins for a long time because they feel guilty lying to everyone about everything

They still feel like its their fault that all the monsters are stuck underground, because they were SUPPOSED to save everyone and they COULDNT and it HURTS

But again, they are doing too much repression to use this guilt to become corporeal,

so instead they just kinda hide and watch toriel from a distance and cry

Blooky visits them the most, thats why blooky is chilling in the ruins so much at the start of the game

Theyre just there to visit their shy baby cousin ;;

Ofc they wont tell frisk about this because chara wants space and privacy and blooky respects that

but maddy and mtt also visit them a lot

Oh also when mtt and maddy start dissapearing, blookys mental health plummets as their family and support system starts to dissolve

Blooky was actually doing extremely well (for a ghost) for a long time, i headcanon,

but theyre doing the worst theyve been in a long long time during the game, because of family issues

So anyway, chara dissapears when frisk shows up, and maddy assumes this is becaude frisk hurt their fragile feelings

Maddy spends hours desperately searching the ruins for chara and cant find them and assumes that they had their heart crushed and went to hide and disappear in a depression coma for another few decades, and thats part of why maddy is so furious with frisk

Like,, to be clear, maddy is still jumping to conclusions and throwing blame around with no proof, but also, its a logical conclusion to come to

And mettaton has already disappeared too and been gone for a while, too, by this point, so it hurts even worse

But anyway, what actually happened to chara is that;

Because chara is a human ghost, not a monster ghost, normal ghost rules dont apply to them

And they can possess living things too they find out

Maybe they knew it a long time ago, maybe its a new discovery, but for whatever reason they end up possessing frisk and theyre like “what the heck”

And frisk still has most of the control

But now chara is like,,, “this is my chance, im a human again, gotta save the world for real,,,”

and they cant explain this to anyone without revealing their past

so they just chill in frisk’s mind while being super crypic and trying to figure out how it works

Pacifist route, this is pretty much exactly what happens

They manage to help frisk save the day

And in my headcanon, the no mercy route is started by frisk who is scared when faced by monsters attacking them

And then chara, who was aready hiding in a semidepression coma for a while, immediately transitions to a panicked “gotta protect this body, gotta protect my chance to be human, i died and threw away my chance to save everyone the first time, i CANNOT lose this chance again”

And so the combination of both frisk and chara is the genocide run

Because frisk kills in self defense, and whenever frisk hesitates, chara jumps in

Also theres leftover feelings from the whole asriel incident

Because again, ghosts come from monsters who died unsatisfied

And chara’s main source of unsatisfaction is how they were trying to get asriel to kill people before he died and then he didnt

So thats a strong strong feeling ruling them

So anyway by the time they both realize how bad its become they figure its too late and also the amount of LOVE has made them numb

And thats when chara who, despite everything, still has idiot hero complex and thinks they need to save the world

So, while panicking, they step in at the very end, and erase the timeline and delete everything

And also to clarify

They DONT HAVE this power at any other point in the game

Because, guess why

They become corporeal

Just like maddy, the no mercy route is the only thing that gives them strong enough emotion to spontaneously become corporeal

So they become corporeal and as soon as they have a soul again and can reset again, they just erase everything

Ok back to fluff

Post pacifist route, they are still a non corporeal ghost

They can still float around and look just like the other blooks

And it takes them a while to open up about things, but they do end up moving back in with blooky so that blooky isnt completely alone

And also they do way better with a family

Also they can float through the mountain and talk to flowey down below and bring him news

And now that they know about him, they can bond with him and explain that they dont have a soul either but that doesnt mean theyre worthless

Oh ALSO

The other dead humans dont have ghosts

BECAUSE

ghosts only come from restless dead MONSTERS

and chara is the weird special exception

Because they were a monster when they died

They became a ghost and asriel didnt because they were way more restless and stressed than asriel was when both of them died

Like sure, asriel felt awful, but chara was the one who was way more like “this is my fault, i CANT die now, the world NEEDS me”

So anyway

charablook the emo tween ghost and asriel flowey the eldrich goat daisy are siblings once more and they hang out and eventually they are okay and have a family again

Thank you for reading, this has been my thoughts on a crack theory that accidentally went too far

This isnt even everything, maybe i’ll make a part two eventually, but i promised to have this post out like two days ago, so i wanted to post SOMTHING

Anyway leave your thoughts if youd like

Im not looking for people to disprove it, i already know its crazy, i dont think it was intentional by the game writers, but i do think its a fun concept

thats the fun of it, so if anyone wants to run with it im all for it lol

Thanks again! Have a nice day!

[prk-pyo]

FLUFF ALPHABET

— shun ibusaki x gn!reader

— fluff

— headcanon

— mention of abuse

— nsfw version

im so in love with him, I can’t–

A - Attractive (What do they find most attractive in a person and about you?)

— Confidence! It’s one of the things that catches his attention almost immediately. But he doesn’t like overly confident and/or loud people.

— When you’re in a relationship with him then it’s your honesty. He can’t stand half heartedly answers or lies.

B - Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why Not? How big?)

— He would want one! But he would wait a little while, starting when he hits his late 20's o early 30's.

— I have this feeling Shun likes the thought of a big family but he’s scared of neglecting his loved ones. (Ideal 2-3 kids + a pet) :3 <3

C - Cuddle (Do they like to cuddle? How do they like to cuddle most?)

— HE LOVES CUDDLING! Fight me on this if you want, I won’t budge a millimetre.

— loves resting his head upon your chest and you play with his hair. Will fall asleep 9.9/10 times.

D - Date (Ideal date?)

— Getting to know your hobbies and interests and try them out/take part of them!

— Teaching you; ”how-to-smoke-[inserts food]-like-shun-ibusaki“ technique 21. lmao

E - Energetic (How energetic are they?)

— barely. He’s more of a quiet and calm type. But does get excited sometimes <3

F - Fight (How are they in a fight?)

— Shunny is a very blunt and direct type. His words will sting.

— Hates losing in general, will need a bit of time before apologising to you for being mean.

— Depending on who's fault it is his apologise could either be your favourite food and a little love speech or just a whole heartedly apologise.

— NEVER gets physical or does hasty moves when he’s angry, the only thing he’d do is turn his body away from yours.

G - Gifts (How do they feel about gifts? How do they give them?)

— it’s one of his love languages. He loves buying you jewellery, flowers and cook your favourite food. Loves the “thank you” kisses and hugs he gets from you every time he gifts you something <3

— gets flustered when you give him something. Will give you one of those rare smiles </3

— blushes hard when you tell him the jewellery looks good on him or attempt to cook/smoke him some food. prefers your cooking over everyone else’s.

H - Honesty (How honest are they? Do they keep secrets?)

— definition of honesty. He hates lies.

— he would need time to open up to you before spilling things like emotions or things that make him vulnerable.

— he’d bluntly tell you he’s not ready to talk about it when you mention a topic that is sensitive to him.

— never pushes you to talk to him, he is patient and respectful!

I - Injury (How do they react if you get injured?)

— internally screaming, not bothered on the outside. Will slightly panic when he hears/sees you wince/flinch in pain. Drops whatever he was doing and walks over to you and checks how bad the injury is.

— if it’s a serious injury you’d see a completely unpleasant new side of your boyfriend. Dialing the emergency number with shaky hands.

J - Jealousy (Are they the jealous type? How do they deal with it?)

— never admits it, but he does get jealous sometimes. Is scared of you leaving him.

— Shun usually gets jealous when you’re around people the opposite of his personality. He starts getting insecure over how quiet he is and how limited his affection is.

— How to fix it: Give him a big smooch and hold his hand while you’re talking to someone.

K - Kiss (Their favorite way to kiss you?)

— right on the lips, a deep passionate kiss. The ones that leave you breathless and wanting for more.

— loves making out with you, hands on your hip while you sit on top of his lap. your fingers tugging on his messy hair.

L - Love Confession (How did they confess their love?)

— blushy and little stuttering mess. bought some flowers and made you your favourite dessert.

— you got a big toothy smile from him when you returned his feelings </3

M - Mean (What are they like when they’re mean? Is it common?)

— he is not mean, he’s blunt. If you can’t handle the truth well, then shun isn’t your type of lover.

N - Nicknames (Do they have nicknames for you? What are their favorites for them?)

— usually calls you by your name, but sometime he adds a ”darling/sweetheart/baby” to it :]

— blushes when you give him a nickname or change his name to something like “shunny or shunshun“

O - Open (How long did it take for them to open up to you?)

— a while, you must have a good and deep bonding with him before he spills any of his weaknesses or feelings.

P - Proposal (How would they propose? Would they propose at all?)

— He would propose in the woods, both of you going out camping for the weekend and on the Sunday night infront of the fireplace while you waited for your sausages he popped the question <3

— He has intentions of starting a family with you, proposing to you and have you wear his last name makes his heart go awooga! (Or the other way around if you want to use your last name)

Q - Quiet (What are quiet moments like with them?)

— your moments with him are usually quiet, but watching you do your hobby while he observes you is one of his favourites <3

R - Rainy Day (What are they like in the rain?)

— On rainy days he starts researching new ways of smoking and tries out different variousions of it too.

— Cuddling with you.

S - Sad (How do they handle their sadness? How do they react to yours?)

— If Shun is sad he gets even more closed off than he already is. Only close people you are allowed to be near him/touch him. I feel like he wants to be alone when he’s sad but he also doesn’t, make him something to eat and then leave him alone, tell him he can talk to you anytime.

— he hates seeing you sad. Will do anything you want, cuddles? Got em. Wanting to be alone? Take your time. Want him to distract you? Already lit a fire for you to watch him smoke. Want to see his eyes? His hair is already clipped back.

— Overall; spoils you when you’re sad <3

T - Time (How long did it take for you to get together?)

— a couple years. he wants to make sure you’re trustworthy enough to let his guard down around you.

U - Unique (What’s an interesting thing about them that not a lot of people know about?)

— clips his hair back when he’s around you. Sometimes his eyes need to breathe too.

— he actually loves talking to you, he isn’t the most talkative person but sometimes gushes to you about something or explains each step and every detail of his cooking.

V - Value (What are some of the things they value most in life? value most about you?)

— Your honesty. It’s what draws him to you in the first place.

— As much as Shun loves cooking, his and his partners health is his top priority.

W - Wildcard (random fluff headcanon)

— One evening you and shun were lying in each other’s arms in his dorm room while you were talking about your day. He stares at you lovingly as you complain about your teachers and classmates, suddenly leaning in to capture your lips in a deep kiss, cutting you off mid-sentence.

X - XO (Are they affectionate with hugs and kisses? If not, are they in other ways?)

— Loves kissing and holding hands. In private you get anything you desire.

— in public he limits affection to holding hands and quick cheek kisses. He likes showing you his affection when you’re alone, sparing others the second hand embarrassment.

Y - Yearn (How do they deal with yearning?)

— Depends on his mood tbh. If he wants a kiss he’d do anything to get that kiss.

— Never really shrugs off your affection unless he’s uncomfortable or stressed/annoyed.

Z - Zen (What makes them calm?)

— Knowing you’re safe and sound and head over heels for him <3

[pluviophile-imagines]

Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

[messymusingss]

magnolia grace winthrope

twenty eight » business owner » alycia debnam-carey.

melancholic, clever, obedient, inauthentic, generous, observant, envious, patient, indecisive, affectionate, competitive, unsatisfied, polite, guarded, yearnful, passionate, hesitant, contradictory.

content warning: mentions of depression, parental emotional abuse

magnolia hails from the wealthy winthrope family - yeah, those self-righteous lawyer winthropes. even so, she’s always felt a smidge out of place. for her entire life, mags has been attempting to fit every edge of her square self into the seamless and perfect circle her parents have molded out for her. even so, her family is and always has been the most important thing to her - and probably always will be unless she somehow learns how to enforce her own boundaries.

as a closet foodie, she owns a fairly new charcuterie restaurant called sips & swiss where they make their own specialty cheeses and wine from the small attached vineyard. her mother doesn’t approve (and dad is simply too busy to make a fuss) and thinks its beneath her but sure does enjoy the perks of bragging about their family’s wine.

perhaps the most pivotal piece of who magnolia is would be the constant inner tug of war between who she’s been conditioned to be and who she longs to be. with numerous people in her life from both sides, she’s afraid she might just eventually split in half altogether. she’s actually quite depressed and definitely undiagnosed because wouldn’t that just be an embarrassment. she couldn’t actually show her face at a therapists office - the shock and horror that would rattle the winthrope household. /s

plot hooks;

the winthropes - magnolia and ashley need their last sibling! the youngest winthrope, baby brother. should be twenty-six(ish) years of age and expected to fall in line with the family business of lawyering and shit. i’d love for him to have a special closeness with mags and maybe he’s the only one she really vents to about the way she feels when it comes to her place in the family idk idk. they also need the parents and if anyone wants to make them that would be the most glorious thing tbh.

sips & swiss employees - the business she owns needs workers whether that be cooks, wait staff, hosts, bartenders, or even farmers for the vineyard. i wouldn’t be opposed to her also maybe having a business partner if that’s something someone might be into?

a love interest - perhaps someone she’s always been friends with but something about them makes her hesitant to take that next step. perhaps her family wouldn’t approve or maybe they’d approve too much.  she’s had a few serious relationships before which were basically betrothals and she would always end up bored. she needs someone exciting to bring her back to life, pretty much.

an unlikely friend group - i’m a sucker for friendship groups and i know yall are too so help me or help yourself lmao. i’m not really looking for a group of wealthy people (although im sure she has numerous wealthy friends) simply because she wouldn’t feel as comfortable around people she’d constantly have to impress. more of a mixed bag when it comes to social/economical class. people who might not normally gravitate towards each other but something as tied them together nonetheless. my brain is trying to brain rn and its not succeeding lmao.

a rival - idk about this one but tbh i feel like there was always this other girl her age that her mother would always try and compare her to. perhaps their families are close and they are assumed friends but deep down - it isn’t that simple. “that ___ girl really is something.” is a comment mags hears all too often. its a big reason why she doesn’t just throw in the towel and go her own way, live her life how she wants. something about her. she’s everything mags should be and tiny part of her actually sort of wants to just to prove to herself she can. a lot of competitive energy, a lot of fake niceties, and i wouldn’t be mad if it turned into some kind of slow burn fxf shippy thing tbh 

[kwrittink]

Check Your Messages

Pairing: Best Friend!Reader x Non Idol!Im JaeBeom

Genre: FTL, Smut (pwp with little plot tbh)

Warnings: language, mentions of cheating, explicit intercourse, fem!oral, unprotected intercourse

masterlist

Check Your Messages

You couldn't handle this anymore. Every aspect of it, of your relationship, you were hating it. But the worse part was, you didn't have any reason to, all of it was bordering perfect. The guy was sweet, treated you well, wasn't prone to cheating, loved you to bits. It just sucked to fall out of love, more to someone like that, so undeserving.

Well, you couldn't exactly say you fell out of love, since the feeling wasn't really present for your partner, unfortunately. You liked the dumbass that asked you out two years ago, but couldn't stand him anymore. And once you start hating the way someone breathes, that's a sign that you probably should leave them.

Before fantasies of making him stop breathing altogether became a reality.

Why were you dating him, again?

Oh, yeah. "Drunk again, huh?" The voice of your best friend JaeBeom dragged you out of your rage-filled mind, glare once trying to drill holes on the skull of your idiot lightweight of a boyfriend turning to the man that effectively held every piece of your sanity at that point. "What was it now? Him trying to match your pace?"

"He's barely conscious, mixed a ton of drinks because he was feeling petty and now I've got to make sure he doesn't choke on his own vomit." You rolled your eyes, crossed arms over your chest not budging even when JaeBeom sat next to you, arm pulling the opposite shoulder towards him, in a consoling gesture.

He snickered. "What he had to be petty about now?"

"Well for starters..." You were going to start rambling what you've already told your other friend. Well, you sent her a long audio message, for when she woke up while on the way to JaeBeom's place, the only person you knew would definitely be awake at that hour. Besides, I know where all the knives are in my own house, so it was the most sensible choice, you thought to yourself, even if that was a lie. You just wanted to go to your best friend's house, abusing his hospitality and knowing that he'd receive you even with a passed out boyfriend at tow.

"Yes?" As he nudged your shoulder you realized you had halted mid-sentence. You'd consumed your fair share of alcohol as well, though anger had sobered you up pretty quickly. By his side, that was ebbing away slowly. That was one of the reasons you couldn't even start listing reasons for the scene your boyfriend made today. It was all about him.

Licking your lips, you looked away from the man that had been the reason for the failure of that relationship, and every other to come, you'd bet. Because you were since god knows when madly in love for someone that has always considered you part of his family, a little sister, as once was put. "He was jealous." That was all you were willing to offer.

"Of me, again?" He countered, and you tensed up, not understanding how could he be so spot on. You'd never mentioned any of your boyfriend's - fair - jealous episodes to him, nor your partner has let it show in front of your best friend, that you knew of. So how could he come up with something like that?

"That's- Yeah I mean, there were other reasons and-" You mumbled in your astonishment, turning to look at the growing smirk on your friend's face, trying to ignore how that simple expression affected your whole body, even more when he was still holding you close.

"Sure... A guy's pride can get really hurt when the girl he loves tells him he'd never been able to satisfy her in two years," he quipped, and by that point you were livid. That was something you send to your friend, word for word. Or at least, you thought so.

"How would y-"

"Y/N," the whisper shushed you immediately, your mouth gaped as you stared at his smug face while he pulled his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, fingerprint unlocking the screen showing, to your surprise, a five-minute audio message on the display. Turns out you haven't sent the utterly frustrated audio to your friend, that was already tired of listening how much you've been head over heels over a man that you could never be with. You were pretty sure that furious and inebriated you had mentioned something like that in the message, along with other confessions you should have never uttered. "You should start paying attention to who you send some stuff." JaeBeom snickered, making all the blood run off your face. What have you done?

Getting up from the couch, you put some distance between both to think clearly. You wouldn't believe a single thing if he weren't showing you the receipt, cursing inwardly as you tried to avoid panicking. "Uhm, you know that... You weren't supposed to hear that," head between your hands you looked down to the floor, feeling even soberer than before. Any speck of alcohol had been burned with how embarrassed you were. "You know, I was drunk- I-I am drunk actually."

"You sound perfectly sober to me, Y/N." JaeBeom's voice was still in the same calm tone and you had to swallow before looking back up at him. "And remember I've known you my whole life - maybe not as well as I thought but - enough to know when you're serious. This is you as serious as the heart attack you're almost having." The playful teasing went completely over your head as you tried to find a way to deny the whole thing you've said. You didn't want to ruin your friendship with him like that, not over such a silly mistake.

But apparently JaeBeom didn't want to give you space to think. "And I hope he agonizes in his unconscious state, wondering if JaeBeom is fucking me the way he'd never be able to. That was harsh, never thought you could be so mean, babe." He kept going, quoting what you've slurred at the back of the car, the taxi driver even snickering quietly at your little speech. You squeezed your eyes shut, noticing how JaeBeom got up as well, stepping once to tower over you only when his body heat hit you and you could smell him again, the familiar perfume you loved on him and bought a bottle every year for his birthday. "That was good Y/N, but you wanna know what's my favorite part?"

Swallowing thickly, you looked up at his face, noticing even in the dim lights of his living room that his eyes weren't exactly trained on yours, rather lower. You were scared to think about the attention of his gaze. "What?" You answered breathlessly. His smile widened again, barely moving as he pressed play on the audio again, your voice echoing in the room.

'If only I had the chance to hop on JaeBeom I would use my time properly, by bouncing on that cock.' You tensed hearing that the last of your morals caring for the man laid on the neighbor couch you were previously sitting on, not wanting him to hear that and prove himself right.

"I'm sorry I... Sorry-" JaeBeom used his free hand to lift your chin, as you mentioned glancing away from his face, a little frown between his brows.

"Why, don't be sorry. I've been wanting to hear that since god knows when. And it was even better than I could have imagined it." You bit your lower lip at his declaration, unsure of what exactly he meant. You loved JaeBeom and if he was just lusting for you that moment you'd probably give in, but the whole thing would still break the friendship.

The fact that he was so close and barely touching you was also aggravating, which made you anxious, yearning. "JaeBeom, I-"

"I know. But I love you, and I know this is complicated for you right now. I just need you to know the feeling is the same. I won't try anything tho-" It felt like ages before you could move again and when you did, the first impulse was to throw your arms around his neck and crash your mouth on his with desperation, almost making JaeBeom fall back.

True to your word, you barely gave time for JaeBeom to prepare before you literally hopped on him, wrapping your legs around his waist and dragging a surprised sound from your friend. Hearing him say that, so sure and clear made something inside of you snap, whatever chain still weighing you down breaking in a million pieces. Morals be damned, you wouldn't let this opportunity escape.

Securing his stance, JaeBeom let his eyes fall shut and, the hands that once started unsure gripping your waist slid down to take a hold of your ass, lips violently capturing yours.

"You don't waste time, huh?" He panted, as soon as the need for air got urgent. Your fingers grasped the back of his head, lightly scratching his scalp and making JaeBeom shudder as you smiled, eyes still closed.

"Can't wait anymore." Was what you could muster, hearing him groan and press an open-mouthed kiss to the base of your throat, making you moan softly. As he parted to look at you, eyes dark with the lust ignited by your sounds, you realized that, despite the time he was willing to offer you, to get your bearings and do this the proper way, JaeBeom couldn't wait as well. How long have both of you suppressed those feelings? How long you've fooled yourself that you'd be able to get over that man when your heart was in his hands?  

In a swift motion, JaeBeom twisted around still holding you securely, getting back to the couch and placing your back against the cushions, his body topping yours in a tight press. You bit your lip as he made quick work of your dress and resumed attacking your neck, trying to suppress the sounds breaching your throat, a quick glance to the side at the still knocked out cold body nearby. Guilt pinched at your chest.

"JaeBeom-"

"You said you wanted him to agonize in his unconsciousness, right? Wondering if I'm fucking you the way he'd never be able to?" The lips once occupied sucking a bruise on the skin beneath your ear interrupted you to mutter those words in a sultry tone that had you shivering. Your mouth gaped at the once more repeated sentence and you wondered how many times had he listened to it to quote that so perfectly. "Want me to fulfill that wish?"

You nearly moaned loudly at the proposal, inner walls of your already damp core clenching as arousal filled you up further. At that moment you knew that as JaeBeom was your sanity, it was also your perdition. You nodded, knowing he'd understand that and felt him smirking against your skin, hands once chastely on your waist sliding back down to grip your now bare bottom, teeth sinking on the sensitive flesh of your neck before starting a new pace, lips traveling down to your chest.

"You're going to be good for me then, huh?" You thought he'd just get to work and wouldn't keep making the mush inside your head that once was a brain work, but there was JaeBeom expecting an answer with hovering a perky nipple, hot breath fanning over it. "Y/N?"

"Pl- Yeah Beom, I'll be good," wherever that came from, the meal turned into speech you had just uttered would make you think later that you were that desperate to be railed by the man that was eating up every sound you were making and gradually losing the grip of his self-control.

"Great. Then let us hear you, babe."

With maybe more strength he intended to, JaeBeom took hold of one breast and grunted before wrapping his lips around the bud, making you yelp loudly at the mix of pain and pleasure it caused. Swirling his tongue once he let your nipple go with a pop, only to rush and take the other one in his mouth, fingertips teasing the slick appendage and sending shockwaves straight to your core, while you tried to catch your breath. If he was being this intense already with only foreplay, you couldn't wait to feel JaeBeom once he got to be inside of you.

And if your expectations of him were high, he wasn't disappointing you, rather exceeding what you had in mind. Lips occupied by teasing your breasts didn't stop JaeBeom's free hand to nonchalantly slip inside your panties, fingers going straight to your slick folds and clit, thumb pressing against the sensitive nub and dragging a wanton moan from your throat, at last having someone other than you touching the poor neglected nerve ending.

As if it wasn't enough, two of his fingers prodded at your entrance, using the overflowing juices to slid them inside with ease and effectively knocked the air out of your lungs as you relished the pain and pleasure of being opened up so suddenly. "So tight and wet," he muttered, letting go of your boob and trailing downwards, peppering your torso with kisses as you writhed underneath him, moaning unrestrained. The presence of your future ex-boyfriend beside you completely ignored.

Too slow he reached the hem of your panties, retreating his fingers only to pop them into his mouth, groaning like he was entranced by your taste. Your face felt hot, either by never having experienced that sight or pure arousal, legs trying to close, and get friction again. Tuting, JaeBeom gripped the back of your knees and shoved them up and apart, exposing you completely to his hungry gaze.

"I can't wait to pound you just how you deserve, babe. But first," he started with a deep and breathy voice, eyeing you up and down like you were a full course meal he intended to enjoy thoroughly, so different from the soft stare your boyfriend gave you before his five-minute performance. JaeBeom looked at you like he was about to devour you. "I have to get you ready to take me, 'kay?" It didn't feel like a question at all so you just heaved, moving to grasp your thighs and keep yourself in place.

The wonders of a good oral were unknown to you, something that you'd only hear about. It wasn't that this other dude wouldn't go down on you, he just couldn't take any hints. He'd never made you cum, though at least you got enough spit on your pussy so his dick wouldn't get in so painfully. Your boyfriend had a great dick, just couldn't use it properly. In JaeBeom's case, you barely needed him to eat you out, already so wet he'd just slip in eas-

"JaeB- fuck!" Your thought process was cut completely as JaeBeom's mouth landed on your engorged clit, not even making an attempt of going slow, suckling at it hard while his tongue flicked at the nub. Your nails dug in your skin, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he did that for a solid thirty seconds and was enough to almost get you to cum. Almost being the keyword, since after the shock he pulled back, smirking pleased at your loud response to his ministrations, looking completely like a beast with his hair in front of his eyes.

"In a bit, babe. I want you to cum on my tongue first." Those were words you thought you'd only hear in your wildest fantasies, but there he was uttering them clearly and with purpose. You whimpered, wanting to reach out and push him back to your boiling core, knowing it wouldn't take long at all to get you to your climax if he kept going with that mouth of his. This time he went slowly, flattening his tongue to slide it across your whole sex, shudders rippling on your body at the feeling of the wet, warm muscle against your folds. The tip of his tongue swirled around your clit with care, flicking the throbbing nerve as he panted against it, hot breath making you twitch. You whined, urging him a little but JaeBeom, with his eyes closed, was too lost on savoring you and all you had to offer him to bother.

A kiss was placed on your mound before he moved again, once more wrapping the plush pillows around swollen flesh and you moaned at the increasing suction and tongue work, but almost screamed at the feeling of his fingers, once forgotten, returned to fill you partially, a come hither motion teasing your whole self into imploding. You weren't exactly sure what would happen but you were sure you'd come soon, and not just once. JaeBeom hummed against you, enjoying the moans that had turned into heavy breaths coming from your wide-open mouth, head thrown back.

Might have been a couple of minutes or mere seconds, but the knot in the pit of your belly snapped, electricity running through your body in waves as you spasmed deliciously around JaeBeom's fingers as he stuck them as deep as he could, working the abused and swollen bundle of nerves to the last of your orgasm. His name echoed in your ears, but maybe that was just you screaming it in the throes of bliss.

"That's it, breathe now babe," he soothed you exactly at the second you stopped clenching, breath heavy with the force of your climax. Fingers retreating, you only heard as he sucked your sweet essence from the digits, the smacking of his lips bringing heat to your whole body. "Breath a bit, tell me when you're ready."

Weakly, you looked at him, watching as he stripped, pulling the loose tee he was using over his head and exposed torso there for admiration. You'd seen the man without a shirt once, but the one in front of you, gleaming under the light with the little sweat on his chest, hair disheveled and stuck to his forehead somehow was closer to a beast than a human. A shiver ran through your whole body as you swallowed dryly, forcing your tongue to aid in the formation of words.

"P-Please Beom, I need you inside of me..." You mumbled, mouth dry and sticky. You watched as he smiled, biting his lower lip, admiring you being already so wrecked while he was just getting started. Hands dropped to his jeans, fingers doing quick work of the button and zipper. Your eyes dropped to observe eagerly, while your lower lip was worried between the teeth.

"I'd like to see your pretty mouth stuffed with my cock but," JaeBeom started, getting up to push the denim and underwear past his knees, one hand taking hold of the length that bobbed after being released. "Now I want you to do like you said, hm?" In the future, the smug expression of his face would probably infuriate you, because he'd know you'd be ready to jump him anytime. But at that moment the smirk only set more fire to your yearning core.

"Like I said?" You asked, taking the offered hand to stand on wobbly legs and giving way for him to sit. JaeBeom nodded, looking amused.

"Come bounce on my cock like you said you would, Y/N." The husky tone literally made your knees shake and you almost choked at the call out. But you said you would, and the opportunity was really presented.

Not wasting another second you straddled his waist, one hand holding his cheek to press your lips on his again, the other reaching between your bodies to grasp his hot girth and tease it on your still slick folds. JaeBeom throbbed, hands now firmly placed on your waist giving a small squeeze to your sides, urging you to put him inside.

"Fuck yeah," was what he grunted against your lips when only the tip was inside your warmth, tongue poking out to lick at your mouth as you panted, lowering yourself on his cock. As you predicted, it felt even better than his fingers, reached deliciously deeper, and made you lightheaded enough to tilt your head and rest it at his shoulder.

"Beom, you're so big inside," you teased, lips against his ear as you gave your hips an experimental swirl. Humming pleased he slid his palms to your ass, pressing down in encouragement to grind with him inside. You abided to the silent request, feeling his head drop by his side at your walls squeezing around him.

You continued the movement till your legs felt stronger, and tried bouncing a little at first, gasping at how his tip was hitting this perfect spot deep inside of you.

"Damn, you're so tight around me babe," He whispered, a lilt to his voice at the end that you perked up a bit to look at his face. Pushing yourself up again you dropped, causing a strained moan to escape, the corners of your lips tugging up at the realization that obviously, JaeBeom could be louder with a little push. It was only fair, he'd made you scream minutes prior, you'd make him feel as good as he was making you feel.

Having an objective in mind made you forget how your muscles were starting to ache, holding to JaeBeom's shoulders as leverage while you began to truly ride him, moaning at how he throbbed inside of you and egging JaeBeom to get vocal as well.

"Fuck babe," you hiccuped, kissing up his jaw just to get closer to his ear again. "F-Feels so good ins-side of me, you're gonna make me c-cum again..." you mumbled while bouncing hard on his lap, a stronger knot forming inside of you. The teasing had some effect, a louder strained grunt echoing on the ambient, his jaw jutted, hips jerking up to meet yours and palms never leaving their spot at your butt, pushing it down as aid. "JaeBeom-"

"Babe, shit! That's it, hmm fuck yourself on my cock like you want to," he went off, humming and hissing at how good you were squeezing him, nearing your orgasm like you vocalized, spasms getting tighter "Come around me like you're meant- I'm right behind you love."

You almost didn't have the strength to get yourself to cum, wasn't by JaeBeom's desperation to get there as well that made him pound up, making the job to only slide back down much easier. At that point, the room was filled with heavy breaths and strings of curses, the scent of impending highs stuck in the air.

"I'm going to cum babe, so close with you m-milking me like th-"

"Please cum inside of me, please!" Your voice was as desperate as you felt, so loud you'd ask yourself how the man sleeping on the couch didn't wake up. "Claim me as yours JaeBeom."

Didn't take him two pumps to start spilling inside of you, arms snaking around your waist to hold you down and take everything he had to give you, the pressure of his tip directly on your cervix, rocketing you immediately to your orgasm. You barely registered, as JaeBeom pressed his head on the crook of your neck, humming and stuttering curses as you went through wave after wave.

You didn't even noticed how JaeBeom had to grasp you firmly to avoid you tipping back, so lost in the bliss.

The only thing that pulled you back were his lips, peppering kisses all over your face until you got back to the real world. He snickered when you looked at him, sighing heavily and weary.

"Hi love, are you okay?" He asked, kissing your cheek tenderly. You hummed and nodded, a smile growing on your lips as you let yourself stay like that a little before you really had to get up and clean yourself.

You looked to the side, snickering upon meeting the drooling face of your still boyfriend, wondering if he'd mind at all you calling one of his friends to pick him up with a little note written that you were over.

Maybe it would be better than him seeing your wrecked state, bruises caused by JaeBeom marking your whole body. You had to have a little mercy left.