#also im aroace so i dont know if this is a me thing but id like to have friends i can cuddle platonically

[mint-chocolate-rooibos]

i think more friends should cuddle or kiss and still have their friendship be totally platonic

[alchemiclee]

what if I made an application for people to fill out to become my potential partner that helps me move to canada fbdndnej i dont get how people just meet someone and they start dating. I feel like I need a whole application and review and interview process to try to choose the best candidate ?????? 😅

[silly-lil-scribbles]

Introduction post!!

free

status: eepy seepy

lyrics that fit the current vibe:

current chance of a response if you dm me*: 0%

* does not apply to mousie cuz its my emotional support friend

- My name is Finn! You can also call me scribbles, soup, or really any dumb nickname will do. it/he <3

woah look at that.. its me.. on another website!! slight flash warning for spacehey btw ^^

if you havent read this in a while, i would suggest reading again cuz i update it a lot <3

- faggy but in the most aroace way possible

- as far as gender, boy-ish

- I MADE A JAIL ACCOUNT SO IF IM JAILED I MIGHT BE OVER THERE ‼️ @soup-has-been-imprisoned-noooooo

- I POST ABOUT BUGS A LOT! if you dont wanna see that …. sorry? i always tag if op didnt but just proceed with caution yk

- I post about the magnus archives/protocol and my chem frequently, though I also just reblog a ton of random shit. may be nsfw. Also I forget to tag for spoilers a lot so just know that there are magpod spoilers in general on my blog.

- Music artists I like: mcr, mother mother, lemon demon, will wood, dazey and the scouts, cavetown, fob, nova twins, that handsome devil, noahfinnce, qbomb, gum disease, sparkbird, mischief brew, poppy, be your own pet, pierce the veil, specimen, faetooth, the mechs, rabbitology, madalyn mei, scene queen, she/her/hers, femtanyl, leathermouth, baby queen, pansy division, the spook school, egg, the crane wives, and of monsters and men

overall i just really enjoy punk and emo and dark cabaret

- Shows/Podcasts/Other Media that I like! DANGER DAYSS, Malevolent, The Magnus Archives, Stranger Things, Welcome to Nightvale (though I haven’t finished it yet), the Osemanverse, Nimona, Adventure Time, Gravity Falls, ATLA, LOK, It, Hilda, Camp Here and There, Radio Rental, warrior cats, the silt verses, dead end: paranormal park, the saw franchise,,,, big fan of horror movies in general so id love suggestions, also there’s probably more but my memory is shit

- my blog is super messy so all of my art is under the tag #scribbles draws a thing and my original text posts (not the short personal ones typically, just the one i actually want people to see) are under #scribbles says shit.

- my body hates me very much (in other words im physically disabled)

- surprise, my brain also hates me very much! And yes also undiagnosed!

- tone tags are appreciated <3

- i post a lot! if you left an anon ask please check my #scribbles asks tag if you cant find it, sorry ‘bout that

boundaries n stuff:

- not ok with sexual or romantic comments

- platonic flirting is ok if we’re moots

- sex averse, feelings on romance fluctuate a lot but usually indifferent

continued:

- i have a tmagp fic i just starting writing! If you wanna know more, posts related to that are under #electric desires have unraveled all my wires :(

- I have 4 cats and a dog, also a gecko

- i have a queerplatonic partner!! hes awesome and swaggy and writes so much. so. much writing. wow. not saying wow in a bad way im just genuinely impressed. chou if ur reading this i love you <3

- SURPRISE i have another queerplatonic partner too!!!! its super fun and cool and pathetic /vpos. my favorite excitable soggy cardboard box ilysm <3 (if ur a regular around here im sure ur familiar lol)

- i love them both so much holy shit guys aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

- coyotekin therian !!

- i love bugs!!!!!!!!!!! please show me bugs!!!!!!!!!!!!

- My favorite colors are hot pink, cyan, neon green, and red

- I love interacting with mutuals and getting asks! plspls send me random shit in asks im begging

- I’m creating a cartoon called Catlantis (still in progress)

- I have a love hate relationship with writing but i do it anyways so oh well

- Frogs.

other tags i use a lot are:

#soup poorly draws gay people out of obligation; my series of promised dyhard drawings.

#soup gets pathetic about friendship; me when im a sappy bitch about my friends or partners

#objectives list; save file for when i say im gonna do something so i dont forget about it

#catlantis save; hoarding info for catlantis

#insomnia induced rambles; i cant sleep and im making it your problem

#our lady of sorrows; not the song, my mcr inspired goddess i made up for my dnd character to worship

#scribbles asks; asks

#info save; good to know

#scribbles liveblogging tmagp; exactly what it sounds like

#art save; resources for doing art

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[ask-the-crimson-king]

can i just say how tiring it is to see constant posts about asexual or aromantic characters being thrown into ships and explicit fics and everything and see constant "and i KNOW that SOME aces have sex" in there.

hi. im an ace who has never had sex and, so long as i have the power to prevent it, never will. i am not interested in it whatsoever, never have been, never will be. i am not aromantic so i wont speak on the aromantic aspects of this qualm.

i would like to see more aces allowed to be sex-repulsed in general. i would like to see more aces allowed to be sex-free and happy without the necessary "BUT ACES WHO ENJOY SEX DO INDEED EXIST! WE AREN'T ALL SEXLESS FREAKS!" constantly being applied everywhere.

i would like to see more aces allowed to be uncomfortable in explicit conversations. i would like to see more aces allowed to exist without the 10 million qualifiers.

and i would like to see alloromantic aces who don't have to compromise for their partners, or alloromantic aces who dont even care about having partners because they know most people wont be willing to have sexless relationships.

do not pigeonhole sex-repulsion to just aroaces. also, have more diverse aro and ace representation then just aroaces. allromantic aces and allosexual aromantics exist. id like to see them a bit more often too. allow them to also be sex-repulsed.

basically i guess this boils down to "please stop apologizing for wanting sex-repulsed aces to exist in media" or "please stop qualifying a want for aces to not be immediately shipped or put into sexual situations by saying 'but i know aces can have sex and enjoy sex'." we know aces can have or want sex. asexuality is a spectrum, its why aspec is a thing.

this is very rambly and im writing it between being stressed for exams and other life things. this will probably get deleted later. im just tired of it, man. it makes me feel like i have to apologize for being sex-repulsed or wanting some good representation that doesnt get immediately steamrolled by "BUT NOT ALL ACES ARE-" shut up. i know. but what about for those of us who are? we're not all aroace. some of us are alloace/aro. let us exist too.

[mrsouprnova]

!!Yap session ahead!!

Can someone explain the moicy ship to me? I really dont get it lol

So, you take the evil scientist who broke up like 2 marriages (widow and gabe) abuses people and animals, manipulates and experiments on people

And you make her kiss the woman that literally doesnt want to know overwatch or talon😭 (shes relluctant to work with overwatch after they (TORBJORN.) Adjusted her inventions so they could be used for hurting as well as healing people. Like she literally only works there because she cant stand to watch civilians be hurt after losing her parents

HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK😭 i cannot grasp that concept. Moira puts her work before ANYTHING. surely, even if they did date, moira wouldnt spend any time with mercy unless she was fucking experimenting on her💀. I dont think its even possible without changing moiras whole ambition of experimenting and not letting anybody stop her

(Aroace Moira for the win)

Like her whole thing is being a non-stop evil scientist

And mercy HATES her. She knows about the experiments and thinks its cruel and unjust

Moira doesnt care that mercy thinks that, and thats it💀

And people were like "MAKE THEM KISS"

Maybe its because im not into shipping so much but i dont get it at all LOL

If you had to ship her with any talon agent id say widow

She wants to help Widow she feels sorry for her. Like she knows she can help her she just cant get to her and wont be able to get her to listen

Then theres also pharmercy- MERCY KNEW PHARAH AS A CHILD, IS THAT NOT GROOMING😭 "mercy stopped aging" MERCY KNEW PHARAH AS A CHILD.😭

"OOHHH MRSOUPRNOVA!!! YOU LIKE MCHANZO/YEEHAN"

Ok yeah mchanzo/yeehan isnt too probable, but it could happen

Sure cole only knows hanzo as "the guy who killed my best friend" /hj but genjis VERY CLEAR that hes forgiven hanzo

So really spuriken/mcgenji is more likely to happen than mchanzo (from someone whos not really into spuriken)

And eitherway it wouldnt really be abusive

We know coles a silly cowboy guy whod be out here calling him "huckleberry" and all that

But people portray hanzo as moody and mean when hes really not all that mean

Sure hes broody and reserved, but hes not HORRIBLE lol-? He literally told sojurn he wants to settle down and have a dog someday, i dont think that relationship would be toxic lol

In compariosn, Hanzos hobbys include wood carving and possibly caring for dogs

Moiras include: *checks notes* abusing people and animals for a personal goal through experimentation? /hj

They'd (yeehan) definitely have some forks in the road, yknow with hanzo seemingly having trust issues and all that but its not borderline abuse x traumatised lol

Someone explain it to me because I DONT GET IT

(Also no hate to moira😋 shes an asshole but shes such a cool and well seveloped character lol

And no hate to these ships bc clearly thry change moiras personality enough to slap her in a relationship, but i dont get it AT ALL as to why people would even think to slam those two together out of everyone lol)

[zombieefish]

okay so there is one specific piece of advice he gives which i have a problem with. heres the quote:

“Fall in love and stay in love. Explode. Don’t intellectualize. Get passionate about ideas. Cram your head full of images. Stay in the library. Stay off the internet and all that crap. Read all the great books. Read all the great poetry. See all the great films. Fill your life with metaphors. And then explode.”

which, that advice is MARVELOUS. that is grade A advice right there. however, i have a problem with the “stay off the internet” thing…the internet is my HOME. i physically cannot stay off of the internet no matter how much i try. id set a goal, and then go right back. the internet is where all my friends are, i cant leave!

but the internet is also home for a lot of my ideas, or the source for a majority of them. now, i understand he probably meant social media. however, there are so many good medias to explore!!! without the internet, there wouldnt be the object show community! there wouldnt be any object shows at all! if youre not brainrotting yourself and slowly wearing away and eliminating your brai. cells, the internet can be a good place to get and share ideas, as well as inspiration…

also, he said to fall in love and stay in love? im aroace…/j staying and being in love is a hard thing to do, not something we can really have control over. /j again (i get what he means and hes right)

i dont have a library. i cannot go to a library. unless you want me to go for a one hour drive, the school library is only open on mondays, and they dont send us any longer anyhow. so im going to have to rely on yhe internet for ebooks, or buying books, or going to barnes and noble. which im not particularly against…i love barnes and noble ❤️❤️❤️

i cant really understand what he means by “dont intellectualize”. dont get smart with it??? what??? in my humble opinion, i think any piece of media is GREAT when it has references or easter eggs or far-fetched implications or any of that stuff!!! it shows that you really care about what you do, and its even an opportunity to learn sometimes…

but in the end, thats just me. i mean this guys was born in the 1920s and died in 2012, i dont really know what i could have expected. also this isnt an attack on ray bradbury, i love him, and hes a great author. and i also love this specific piece of advice that he gives…i like how hes encouraging people to find inspiration, and to get started on things. you dont need permission. uou dont need permission to expand your interests and literacy. and you know what?? poetry is cool. books are really cool. films are cool. and inspiring. so im glad that he got that message out there

writing this while eating digestives there's probably spellingmkstakes

the internet can be a wonderful place, you're right!! making friends on here is something that people enjoy doing, and gives some people the sense of joy, talking to these people

it also comes with so many forms of media, circulating all around the world — so many shows, so many pieces and bits that make up a full puzzle, and some strive to complete their own puzzle when they get on here.. the internet has so many wonderful things that have been made on here, and a good amount of supportive people to go along with it

fall in love and stay in love is quite straightforward on his part.. when you fall in love, it's like an overwhelming thrush of feelings, and you sometimes feel blinded by these feelings, asking yourself what's next, and why are you acting like this. i think that it's hard to stay in love, especially with the way people generally treat relationships currently — seeing it as more of a thing you do for the thrill rather than the tender experience of love from another person, having the chance to develop into something stronger

but you can always fall out of love.. it doesn't have to be that you always love one person forever, because it alternates for everyone.. some may stay with their first, others are still embarking on that journey of finding that person who they ultimately click with

buying books is great! when you have a book, reading it at a slower pace helps you take the general idea in — adding to your whole world of ideas.. trapping all the information in and nerding out about books and other things is something people should do more

books ARE cool, films are cool.. all these things are cool, and even if someone tells you it's lame, that's them. you taking the time to enjoy these things makes you even cooler, and it's good to have that perspective of where things that are considered 'nerdy' are seen as cool

but that's just me ꒰ · ◡ · ꒱

[aromantic-diaries]

J!!!! im asexual i think!! i know you're more the aromanticism expert but i remember you talking a lot about the distinction between the two identities and i could use some help navigating the divide as it were :o

i figured out i am aromantic pretty quickly after discovering your blog, and i think that's the identity im resonate more with- but last week i made the connection that not getting crushes is kinda an ace thing? i think sex is cool but i dont think im sexually/physically attracted to other ppl at all

how do you personally differentiate the two identities? did you adopt them at different times? it might not be the same for everyone but id like your perspective :)

-pteren 💚🪽

Hi! Even though I personally view my aromanticism and asexuality as two different things, I don't think everyone feels about it that way and a lot of aroace people actually don't make a distinction between the two, the aroace flag for example was meant to represent people for whom it's just one thing, at least that's what I heard. But as someone who does see it as two separate things, I'd say aromanticism is about the emotional aspect of it and asexuality is the physical part. I don't know what romantic attraction is supposed to feel like, all I know is that I don't feel whatever you're supposed to feel. As for the sexual part, I was actually confused about it for a while because sex does sound like a good time, it's just that there's no one I'd actually want to do it with.

I did figure these things out separately. It's hard to tell which one I figured out first because putting the pieces together was a lenghty process. I definetly showed signs of aromanticism very early on (i'd say as far back as early childhood) and it was pretty much obvious by the time I reached my teens, but there was a good amount of denial thrown into the mix which really dragged the whole process out. As for my asexuality, it kind of became clear when I was 14-15 but I swept that under the rug for a while. The one I admitted to myself first was aromanticism though, and not long after that I also came around to admitting I was asexual. I would say that they go hand in hand but the process of figuring it out kind of happened separately.

At the end of the day, I see them as two different things because that's what makes the most sense to me. I suggest taking some time to learn about yourself and understand your own identity and the experiences relating to it, so you can figure out what works best for you. You can just say you're aroace and not separate the two, that type of distinction exists mostly to bring awareness to the fact that aromanticism and asexuality aren't neccessarily a package deal and a lot of people are one but not the other, or they have different experiences with different aspects of their identity, it's okay if that's not the case for you

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

what is the story of you and violet like how did you start and how did it reach to where it did, of course only if you’re comfortable. ( i’m not trying to mock you or make fun of it, ik what you went through but since you said anything personal, i have wanted to know this. i’m interested in things which are none of my business. i pray im not sounding rude, i really want to come of as nicely as i can, but i can’t)

whole story below the cut, there’s a tldr at the end bc i added a load of unnecessary details. js brace its kind of a long one.

so we met when i was 12 and he was 15. i remember it was june 2020. i didn’t like him at first—got sort of a weird vibe. but then i got to know him more and, by september-ish, he became one of my best friends. by november, i thought of myself as having a crush on him (i didnt know i was aroace at the time) but i never made a move bc he was dating one of my friends, lets call her jude. we talked pretty much every day. i had to leave our friend group for safety reasons but he was my source of contact with the rest of my friends. i think we mainly talked on discord at the time?

flash forward to new years eve of 2020, and something happens. i’ll spare you the details, but needless to say my devices got confiscated. i still remembered his discord id, so i got my best friend to msg him and tell him what happened. i also got my favorite cousin to do the same, so he’d have two ways of talking to me.

keep in mind, my best friend and cousin both had it in their minds that i had a crush on him, so they’d both try to get him to like me. in june i think he broke up w jude. my cousin was also in regular contact with jude on instagram, so i got to msg jude at some point after the breakup and i distinctly remember her saying she’d be okay if i dated him but she personally was so unhappy w him. i didnt get that, but i think i later did

years pass w barely any contact. december 2022, i start dating someone else. january 2023, i realize i chose the absolute worst person and i break things off. then april 2023, i manage to get in contact w violet. we start dating the next day. (here he’s told me that he’s genderqueer he/she, but later he denied this)

i talked to him anytime i could and he'd send selfies a lot. i was scared about my parents so i asked him not to. he'd do it anyway. i didnt ask him to stop after that

he wasn’t necessarily a bad boyfriend, i js didnt rlly feel. idk. special? i’d make playlists for him and send voice recordings whispering “i love you” in arabic but i never got any of that back ig. the first few weeks were the best but after that? nothing. i’d send pics and he’d call me pretty and hot and say he’s so lucky to have me. later i found out he called every girl pretty when he’d see a pic of her.

i self-harmed for the first time when i was with him. what he did was ask me to send a pic of it so he could check if its bad. i told him i was suicidal. i dont remember what he said.

and then came june 15th, 2023. what a day. i talked to him at like midnight my time. i remember the last thing he asked was for me to send a selfie so he could show me off to his friend.

then my mom found out. and i was so scared of her getting angry at me that i downed 16 pills and got rushed to the hospital.

my mom didnt get angry. but my devices were confiscated again. and i couldnt talk to him. keep in mind, he knew i was suicidal. i was expecting some kind of response from him through my best friend because he was still talking to her at the time, but i didnt hear anything. instead, nine days after i tried to kill myself, on the 24th of july, he broke up with me. 

i didn’t blame him. when your suicidal gf ghosts you for nine days ofc you’re gonna wanna move on. it’s not his fault. i js felt kind of lonely, yknow? on the 30th i managed to log into my acc to talk to him, to explain everything, n all i saw was a breakup msg. i dunno.

in october-ish of 2023, i managed to get thru to him. i explained everything. he didnt give much of a response, but he did ask if we could keep talking. i said sure. we did keep talking and i invited him to tumblr bc i had more of a presence here than anywhere else. when my mom confiscated tumblr in november, i continued talking to him on google chat

in february 2024 he was my valentine js bc we were both single and alone and we thought itd be fun. i wrote him a letter. he didnt make me anything but its fine. you get the idea we were getting closer again

by this point i realized i wasnt receiving the amount of love i deserve, and i was kind of sad bc he’s not a muslim and i am, so we couldn’t get married, therefore we wouldnt have a future together (i’m the kind of person who wouldn’t have a relationship w someone if it won’t lead to anything in the long-term). he told me he wouldn’t become a muslim or study islam for me, so i respected that. i wouldnt forcibly convert him. but i also acknowledged that i couldn’t be w someone who’s not a muslim, so i asked him to stop talking to me. he said okay.

he’d still reblog stuff and send me asks—he even asked me to write a poem about him for my follower event. but around that time i had kind of been getting drained from exams and i didnt want boy problems on top of that, so i asked him to stop all contact w me. he respected that, as far as i know. he wished for me to have a nice life. i wished the same for him. and i blocked him. i havent talked to him since then at all, i dont think

so yeah. kind of lengthy story thats a whole load of nothing. i dont want you to go bother him about this. he was my friend before being my boyfriend, and he was with me during a dark time in my life. i respect him and i ask for you to please not send hate towards him. think what you will, just dont bother him. i’d be happy to answer anything else, but i think i js about covered everything.

tldr; we met when i was 12 and he was 15. we dated starting when i had just turned 15 and he was almost 18. he broke up with me after i attempted sewerslide. we continued talking for a while after reconnecting but i cut him off again last feb for religious reasons and we havent talked much since.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

What do you think of aroace spectrum angela or like. any variant idk

REAL AND TRUE AND CORRECT. NOT TAKING ARGUMENTS AT THIS TIME <3

like. ok ive definitely spoken abt it offhand sometime before so im just going to use this opportunity to aimlessly ramble ok? ok. hyperfixation trap card.

like yeah theres the whole 'only having rep thats robots and aliens and etc' thing which is very much a fair and appropriate response, but also like. at a point you Do just kinda have to go 'Man Just Look At Her.'

i certainly couldnt say it as well as other folks, but... Man Just Look At Her. theres so many threads that are Literally Right There, its kinda hard Not to. id have to study again n cite my sources or whatever but also this is my house. ok.

like theres the obvious 'i see you as a friend' interaction with her and roland sometime mid-to-late ruina, which is. again. Its Right There. but its also the way she looks in lobcorp, and the instant she gets any agency she immediately veers in a completely different direction. (as a reclamation of self, as another small rebellion, as an exploration of how She would like to present herself and be seen)

its that interaction with xiao, her genuine confusion towards the concept of lovers, what they are, what makes it so different from any other sort of person. (as a jab towards her own isolation, the values she was made to uphold, her unfamiliarity towards cityfolk and the ways they carry themselves-- and that seeming contradiction of that affection vs. the way she was told cityfolk Work.)

angela, to me, feels like the type of character to simply Be. for lack of a better term. its a difficult concept to Describe in a way that makes sense, (despite me being, how do you say, In The Same Boat.) its something i could see her toss around out of curiosity, but honestly just... not really care for. she has things to do.

like... angela is just. a very cut and dry character, to put it in a way. she just kinda states things as they are, sometimes rather bluntly. its hard to elaborate because things simply Are. plain and simple, no need to fuss over it. and thats what this feels like itd be, yknow?

also iam just shrimply. forever an angela+roland qpr truther. tbh. like i dont know what the Hell those two have going on but you literally Cannot separate them. i hesitate to call it 'love,' because. well yes, but also no. but also kind of? but not quite. again, it just Is. they simply Are.

its one of those things that just feels Odd seeing her in any other context, in regards to romance or whatever. which is tied to a whole slew of other problems only tangentially related to the subject (shipping content bias, character simplification, and so on and so on,) but its just... man she would Not fucking say that. she would not Do that, she would not Act that way.

like i certainly believe it Is possible to have romantic interpretations with her, but its gonna be. Specific. with the way she carries herself, how she acts, and how she reacts to things. even with the romantic elements, itd still dip into aro experience territory, if you know what im saying. like whoever it is, this shit isnt going to fit into Roles and Archetypes, like how a lot of folks like to write ship content. for lack of a better descriptor, its gonna be Weird.

and thats honestly whats so frustrating about it! you Can have an interesting through-line and interpretation of that sort of thing, but a lot of the time whenever i (rarely) see it, its just... Typical Beauty Standards, Hot Secretary Lady, Scary Controlling Whatever the hell like... i hate t judge but cmon guys we can do so much better than that. ironically, wheres the Love? the respect for who she is, the curiosity on exploring that sort of thing with who she Is? guys come On...

which. grain of salt, because its not like i search out ship content, yknow. im not gonna speak like an authority for stumbling onto stuff sometimes. the fact that it isnt so popular and in-your-face is genuinely refreshing honestly, but. tangent.

anyway arospec angela agenda never sleeps and iam one of the strongest soldiers. the ace is Non Negotiable come back later with a warrant so i can Not Look At It. (<- this is a bit. (<- but im serious.)) thankyou. bows.

[dykeyote]

ok my dndads queer hc post randomly gets notes but i disagree w many of the takes now so im updating it . spoiler warning theres a WHOLE lot of lezzies . just doing the dads kiddads and teens HOWEVER i will say that mark likely is for sure a lezzer

darryl: bisexual and probably the most cisgender one here but he's actually SO cis that it becomes almost gnc . he/him

ron: transhet guy but he thinks his transition is like very unique to him and everyone else is doing it the exact same as each other so he doesnt really get that hes Transgender bc he thinks everyone else is doing it in a really different way than him all together . not in an angsty way hes perfectly okay w that . he/him

henry: trans bi guy we know this to be true . he/him but if you called him they/them prns he would be like well yknow ive never thought about that before but you know what go right ahead (: he doesnt exactly enjoy it but he appreciates just how gosh-darn nonbinary positive you are that he'd still encourage it

glenn: bisexual and like .... hes cis he doesnt really care abt gender much but when nick came out as trans he definitely said something about like . "dude if i was trans? id totally use they/them pronouns thats sick as fuck" and then moved on and this sort of haunted nick for a while . he/him but again he doesnt really care

jodie: cis and bisexual but in such a boring way that he might as well be straight

sparrow: tgirl lesbian who was out at one point but is not now for Normalcy Reasons . she/her in theory

lark: transneu nonbinary and aroace . not out about either of these things but not really as a like Actively Closeted thing they just dont really think abt it . they/he in theory

terry jr: tgirl lesbian also but this time out AND butch . she/he

grant: gay of course . and like .... he is cis and this wont change but he'd be a good deal happier if he was more gnc i think

nick: tguy butch lesbian . he mostly but he doesnt really care that much

link: kinda-stealth tboy (not really intentionally or anything he just doesnt really see it as relevant that often so most people dk) and gay . he/him but he doesnt really care that much

taylor: honestly idk what i think is going on w his gender but i DO know hes aro and bi . give me some time to think on that ok

scary: out nonbinary tfem lesbian!!!!! we know this!!!!!! she/it and when she writes her pronouns down she always writes the it in VERY BIG AGGRESSIVE HANDWRITING to make it clear that its SUBVERSIVE AND WEIRD

normal: bisexual tgirl . currently in a like . Questioning Phase in s2 i feel like ..... her turmoil abt being a Normal Son is tied to that . any pronouns but she primarily

hermie: bigender (girl + boy) gaybian :3 was an open bisexual tguy originally but around the poison ivy era had some Gender Complexity . he/she but certain Method Personas have diff pronoun leans whereas normal herm is pretty 50/50

[lepoppeta]

Is there a ship or song you've been wanting to talk about? If so, share it! (I can't think of a ship other than the ones I've already asked about...)

current fandom interest would be hazbin hotel (unfortunately) so... i guess ill be talking about that.

out of all of the rarepairs ive concocted for that questionable amalgamation of a cartoon, my favourite has to be alastiel, or alstor and zestial (i saw one person refer to it as "victorianradio" but as far as i know zestial died during the rule of the tudors). i was inspired by the fact that zestial is the only male character, let alone the only person, that alastor treats with an iota of respect. zestial is so powerful and long-lived that he even makes alastor visibly nervous, which is saying something. zestial, despite his lofty rank, seems to admire alastor for his air of mystery (he calls him an "enigma", almost fondly) and alastor takes this as "quite the compliment". theyre both terribly old fashioned and i think theyd at least get along very well.

as far as songs go, ive only found one - their vibe is really hard for me to pin down because im essentially working from scratch. i dont have any prior songs that really fit them.

the song in question is valentine (laufey), and it would be from alastors point of view.

ive rejected affection for years and years, now i have it and damnit its kind of weird. he tells me im pretty, dont know how to respond. i tell him that hes pretty too - can i say that? dont have a clue.

i love the idea of alastor being the bashful party for once - in most, if not all, of his popular ships (radiostatic, radiobelle, radiohusk, radiodust) hes either got a cryptic upper hand by way of riddles and his magic, or hes dissolved into a flustered rage by a bombardment of sexual innuendo. zestial is old as the hills and patient as death and in my opinion not terribly into the whole sex thing either, so hes perfectly happy to wait until alastor stops fumbling and figures himself out.

if im to be frank, its a bit of a projection on my part too - alastor is canonically somewhere on the aroace spectrum, and i also consider myself as such, and considering a potential romance with zestial is kind of me thinking about a sort-of personal fantasy of mine and how i approach love and intimacy, both in fiction and in real life. id love to write it for the public one day, and maybe someone else who feels the same way as i do will be comforted.

[starz4valen]

queers im fucking lost come save me

ok but in all seriousness,

despite labeling myself as aroace for a hot minute and finding comfort in that label and the community for a time—shit doesnt feel quite right anymore.

i have had ONE EX. one.

i genuinely think i was in love with him. i only felt what i felt with him,,,WITH HIM. nobody else. I felt the butterflies/giddiness, i loved his laugh, his smile, hearing him, his jokes, all the names he would call me, how much he said he loved me, our late night discord calls, having him around, just. him. when he rarely spoke abt shit that was bothering him it hurt me so bad, like i would hurt with him. and the mere THOUGHT of ME hurting him made me wanna sob.

as you can probably guess by the fact we’re exes, we’re not together anymore. it hurts. hell, my stomach tangled a bit as i typed that out. (could be cause recently someone who used to be a friend went and dated him and then got upset at me for getting upset at them but this ain't abt them.)

we broke up in like june last year, and i felt so fucking horrible about it bc it basically ended w him yelling at me over text at how horrible i am at listening and how i treated him more like a therapist—which i will admit i did. i sucked for that. it makes sense why tho, i was working through a lot of shit at the time, doesn’t justify it at all though. i should’ve treated him better. im desperately trying to fix it in my current relationships so that never happens again.

then again, he also treated me badly. he said things that really fucked with my sense of trust in people and just made me scared to get close with anyone like that ever again, or in general bc i was convinced everyone had some ulterior motive w me or secretly didnt give a shit abt me—but also i felt *I* was the problem. like every relationship im in is gonna end horribly bc im just that bad. its taken a lot to say that i feel loved by and trust my current friends, as well as trying to recognize that I deserve love, and im glad i can say that im getting better ^^

but,,,idk anymore

i concluded i was aroace almost a year after we broke up. there were a couple reasons. for one, i only really got that close w him. i dont really know if ive had a crush or what that feels like—in fact i think i faked one in elementary, the whole reason i got w my ex was bc he was flirting w me and it made me feel nice. (also bc i was worried he would be my only shot at love but i digress) i feel off when people talk about heading to poundtown or anything like that, the same with crushes—just crushes tho relationships i totally get—and i still struggle to wrap my head around attraction and how people just can look at someone without even knowing them at ALL and go “you. i want you.”

i wrote off how i felt when i was with him as simply some non-romantic form of attraction and called it a day.

but recently ive been reflecting on that, and i think i was wrong. the way that even now i get all these emotions by merely talking abt my ex says something. how upset seeing that "friend" going ahead and dating him after barely knowing him and just how angry i was says something. the way i cried seeing my best friend get a whole small crate of presents from their partner for their bday bc i was THAT JEALOUS says something. the way i yearn for affection and to be loved again says something. the way im starting to miss being in love again says something. the way i would always want some sort of relationship—even when i identified as aroace—but just never thought it would happen bc i didn't feel pretty enough, or mentally well enough, deserving of one, or like id ever be lucky enough to find someone who makes me feel that way again and how scared and sad that makes me,,,says something.

now in terms of poundtown—legit dunno. closest to that I've done w anyone was neck kisses from my ex, which i did really enjoy—but also i legit identified as ace like the whole time we were together and the few times he made jokes like that i felt uncomfy. plus the only way i feel i could be ok w going further w something like that is if its either excessively gentle or the most unserious thing ever. so tbh if i had to take a guess on how i feel abt that—not too keen on it.

I'm debating a couple labels, bi, aroace, bi and ace, demirose, and demirose and bi, but tbh i feel bi kinda fits the most? (maybe???) but also it doesn't. idk if its the fear of opening my mind to me being in a relationship despite my fear of intimacy and commitment or just that I'm aroace and this is my brain telling me to stop overthinking shit—but i know i wanna figure this shit out

if anyone has like legit any words of advice PLEASE send it my way. i will take even the tiniest crumb of guidance cause i am more lost than a child in ikea.

thanks to anyone who read all this <3

[probablypracticallyplural]

Guys i am autism and have a question. Id like advice and im wondering in what order to do these things

So i have two partners. One of them has did and multiple of our alters are dating one of theirs. The other is a singlet.

I also have a friend who i talk to everyday, even if its just a “heyyy” “fuck yeah heyyyy good job daying” that i met over the summer. We play video games together occasionally and they are also a system. When we met, we were cosplaying characters who were romantic, and he put his hand under my chin to photo bomb my video. For the next couple of days i was kinda smitten. I found out he’s aroace, so i backed off romantically so as not to freak him out. Since then, he’s made more references to being interested in relationships in general. Now, i cant tell if that means relationships on the aroace spectrum like qprs, etc. or if some alters are and others arent.

Anyways, i feel a strong connection to them. I dont know if its in a me way or a full system way, but i just want to be around them and talk to them

So, today, he was laughing about one of his headmates simping for someone and a couple of us joked that we should use more petnames. One thing led to another and he complained about not having anyone to kiss and we said “raises hand tentatively /hj” and he laughed and said “HALF JOKE??”

I talked about what a qpr was and said there was no expectations, i just care about them. He said they care about us too and then we talked about halloween.

I cant tell, so the first question is: does he seem interested in a qpr?

Second question: should i ask my partners before or after me and this sys figure out if we wanna try something at all?

Third question: should i wait or should i bring it up again, he didnt give a clear answer

Anywho

- 🏔️ Scar

[heartslobbf]

i watched heartstopper s2 because i was an avid osemanverse enjoyer in my early teen years (back when alice oseman still had anons on rip) and owe some of my aspec self-discovery to their writing. i knew they had written an aroace storyline into this series and wanted to see it because whilst i knew as an aroallo lesbian i wouldn’t totally resonate and might be a bit cheesed off by aspects of it, i enjoy aromantic crumbs, and i enjoy discussing aspec Stuff even more. it was……. an interesting experience? has certainly given me a lot to think about. gushy rant below the cut :)

i will say, i think that the amatonormativity is still strong, and rigid in this show. it’s like, isaac is the exception to the rule and his true love is books, and he gets to yell at his friends for all being so damn couple-y and romance-obsessed but there’s no resolution to that. is that realistic? yeah, sure, allo friends can fucking suck, but heartstopper is the kind of show aiming to do certain things for queer kids where id expect a dialogue about this. you know, charlie & co coming to understand aspec identities and becoming more conscious of how amatonormativity affects them, interrogating it in such a way that these queer couples can also be liberated from its trappings. juicy shit like that. didnt happen tho. isaac gets a book about asexuality (no mention of aromanticism on its cover!!! the word is used by the artist who vaguely explains both terms to isaac, but there is a much greater focus on asexuality, so much so that this morning i saw pink fucking news celebrating isaac’s asexual storyline without a mention of his aromanticism) and that’s it.

a lot of that criticism is arguably coloured by my experience as an aroallo person, because i just want aromanticism to be engaged with as aromanticism. you know aroaces we are besties in arms solidarity and all that, and im so fucking happy you got some great asexual rep that frequently used the word asexual, as well as your flag and iconography. like fuck yeah!!!!!! let’s go!!!!!! however, aromanticism is not a subset of asexuality, is not an ‘extreme form’ of asexuality, does not necessarily have anything to do with asexuality. im sure the aspec folks know this, but allo fuckers dont and that means that this canonically aromantic character who was emotionally affecting to me is one that im gonna be barred from resonating with again and again.

you know, moments of isaac’s story were so profound and moving for me. i cried at the kiss scene in episode 5, it was probably the single most relatable moment of tv (related to my experiences with sexuality) that ive ever seen. its certainly not my favourite tv moment of all time lol, relatability ≠ quality, but when youre part of a marginalised group and experience a lot of loneliness and alienation surrounding your identity it is great to see it reflected. i honestly loved that shit!!!!! ive been there!!!! that’s me!!!!!! the wanting and the not wanting!!! the jealousy and confusion and alienation, the longing to be able to feel what you can’t just so you don’t have to be so lonely, the knowledge that you’re just not that person…… oh it was great. it was fucking great. so you can maybe appreciate how upsetting it is for other people to neglect the aromantic facets of this canonically aromantic character, when we dont get shit.

having said that, asexuals also dont get shit; my issue is absolutely not with isaac being aroace, but rather with how mainstream understanding of aspec identities is still so piss poor that people neglect the aromantic aspect of that identity. i found isaac to be a relatable character and i enjoyed and appreciated that about him; i wish more people would talk about him being both asexual and aromantic, because aromanticism does not get talked about enough as anything other than an ‘extension’ of asexuality, an idea which only diminishes the complexity and vastness of both (fucking awesome and beautiful) identities. love and light and solidarity forever with all other aspec folk <3

[queatherine]

my thoughts on the new td episodes (5-6) as i procrastinate on my essay WOOOO (spoilers below the cut):

dude i never knew how much i needed to see horses on water skis until errr like an hour ago

girlies (ripaxel) can we stop making out all the time pretty please ive been fairly neutral on them but if theyre gotta get post-island-gidgette'd then mmmmmm idk

BOWIE AHHHHHHHH i love bowie so much and i love that he was sooo worried about his relationship with raj and and and AHHHHHH eliminated is so sad :( like i said with the previous batch of episodes,, but i really do wish that these seasons were just a tad longer because i really would've loved to see more with rajbow and bowie having to regain raj's trust and mending that part of their relationship over multiple episodes,,, BUT WHAT WE GOT IS STILL GREAT !!!

this is just a me thing (and maybe an aroace thing idk), but i cannot handle blatant flirting like what we see with priya and caleb. idk im kinda romance repulsed irl and its 50/50 when i watch shows or movies (i have to actively and consciously like the ship),, and maybe i just dont like priya and caleb as a ship sdbfhsbdfhsbf im an ace lesbian priya and aroace caleb truther actually

but going of that ZEE OMG I LOVE ZEE i am a huge fan of getting the dumbest of asses to have to keep a secret (tyler in tdwt fr fr) and and and like hes such a good friend to priya about it like he is genuinely concerned about caleb using her LIKE OMG i love him silliest and most realest guy ever

also also with zee i will admit that i fully thought that hed be an early boot like 2nd or 3rd and i was very scared for my guy, but AHHHHHHH thank goodness he is here

DAMIEN SLAYING IS EVERYTHING I KNOW THAT EVERYONE AGREES I WANT HIM TO WIN FR

im waiting for the day raj and wayne are fully seperated,, meaning i think wayne is going to get voted off before raj and i will be ready for that angst of raj losing his boyfriend and best friend (omg what if wayne gets voted off literally the next episode ID CRY)

rip nichelle id hire you (im a broke college student)

siiiiigh anyway back to my godforsaken essay

[aroaceconfessions]

can someone help me, or direct me to anything i can read up on to understand more about what im feeling? im pretty new to the aroace community because i simply, never put much thought into that part of my identity. i have this online friend, and she likes me romantically, and i think i might reciprocate? eventhough ive identified as gay transmasc for a while now. ive never had an attraction to girls, before or after transitioning. and when i think about it my past "crushes"... i dont think they were romantic in the way that allo people see it. ive always had problems differentiating between platonic and romantic attraction.

putting aside the gay part, im just confused about what i want. we love each other, we've sexted multiple times, i know she wants us to be exclusive and, i really want us to be exclusive too. but when i think about actually dating her and being in a romantic relationship, i cant do it. i really dont want to. is it a thing? wanting to be exclusive but not wanting to date. qpr? i dont know, ive tried reading up on qpr but it always seems so vague and i dont fully understand. is it a fear of commitment? fear of romance?

i dont think she'll accept anything less than dating. she seems to be really romance-centric, and has said before that if i hadnt shown signs of liking her back more than platonically she wouldve left already, to protect herself. it made me really sad ngl, that romance is such a high priority for her that she'd sacrifice our platonic relationship. for context, and im really sorry if this comes across as ableist, but she has bpd, does that also affect her view and actions with romantic relationships? are we just incompatible on the topic of a romantic relationship? if anybody could help, id really appreciate it, i dont really have other people i can talk to about this and ask for help with. thank you.

Submitted May 9, 2023