#also if you have any icks about anything let me know

[a-cat-in-toffee]

"Been there. Done that. Wasn't." He glared at Bell. That was actually true, on more than one occasion he had seen several of the vigilantes who just loved to break into Belltech panic- he never enjoyed it, really. It just made him feel worse. "What fucking opportunities? Becoming a wanted criminal or having a panic attack every time there's blood on my hands? No thanks, I don't really wanna go down either route." It was always under his nails, he could never get it out. Fuck, the smell of smoke was enough to put him on edge. There were no opportunities gained from what he did for David.

"Right. Your problem. Your problem of being dead. A normal and common problem to have and be able to fix." Jesus Christ, this guy was fucking insane. He watched the scalpel closely, eyes widening when Bell started cutting at his arm. Fuck, fuck, fuck- His vision blurred with what were probably tears. "I don't fucking know- okay?" He grit his teeth. Even if he couldn't fully feel it, there was something almost psychosomatic about it. He was back to being an experiment in a test tube. "You wanna know about my friends? Fuck off. How about Wight? I'll tell you about Wight- he's a fucking freak, like you." He forced his eyes shut. "I had my arm fully in his chest and he wouldn't stop fucking laughing at me."

Stares at you with my autistic eyes :33

May I throw one of my sillies at you full speed like a bowling ball? I don’t mind which sillies I am just on a hyperfixation CRAZE rn

HIIII I SO UNFORTUNATELY DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT YOUR SILLIES ?! I WOULD LOVE YOU TO THO

[whorelaud]

꒦꒷ 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 hushed fantasies ¡

pairing brother's best friend¡nicholas chavez x fem¡reader

summary thinking you were messaging your friend, you accidentally sent your brother's best friend a thirsty paragraph about him, with Nicholas opening it before you get a chance to delete it. what you were not expecting was the leading conversation, causing realization to wash over you as he hints your desire is not one-sided after all.

contains suggestive, sexual tension, a bit of dirty talking, a brief kiss, flustered reader, cocky nic, hes also very freaky (uhh???)

a/n this is the silliest thing ive ever written i was giggling the whole time while writing it. likes and reblogs are v much appreciated!!!

word count 1.7k

You: the amount of self control i have is insane because why do i not have this mans dick in my mouth rn please i need nic so fucking bad its not even funny anymore he is everything i want in life id let him use me any day morning afternoon n night im available ugh i dont even get the ick when its him he was acting like a dad earlier yelling at us to grill the meat right and it was so adorable ill call you daddy u want me to call u sir i dont kink shame im down for whatever king omg stop he got hurt earlier and he GROANED???? i almost fell to my knees YAHOOO he definitely whimpers #needthat 10/10 i just know its thick ooh tip pink shade #d97e77 thats insane till my knees are bruised and my throats scratched my panties fell tears are rolling down my thighs OMG PLS can you feel my pain hes so bodangshis how does my brother look at him and not wanna fuck him id be all over him if that was my friend gahhhd!!! hes actually so sweet he kept speaking to me earlier so i dont feel left out of the conversation and i find that adorable do u think he slaps it before he cums oh my his girlfriends so lucky im ab to put her in a headlock ahaha this is gross no man should have this much of an impact on u unless their dick is big and the sex is absolutely amazing yooo what he probably knows how to please a lady id be hard if i had a dick rn STOPP he has a happy trail im gonna lose it hahah lets find out where it leads i dont wanna think ab that im going crazy literally pulling my hair out that should be u baby GIVE ME A CHANCE?!!!! thinking ab him makes me so nervous this is getting a little too srs ahaha okay im sorry hows life?!? i miss u :(

Sending that message, you were anything but expecting the response you got in return, not from the man himself, that’s for sure.

nic: oh?

nic: i think you got the wrong person

You audibly gasp, realization washing over you as you read over the message. That was, in fact, not for Nicholas, nor was it for anyone but your friend to see.

You panic, putting your phone down to process what happened, needing a moment before responding. Right, you needed to do that.

But why did he see it so fast? He didn't even give you time to comprehend your message, the text switching to read in an instant.

Hell, it was midnight, and it’s been a long, tiring day for the both of you, having been out the whole afternoon, merely to come back to the hotel and spend more time with your other friends.

Everyone decided to end the night off early; early being a bit before midnight, with you heading to your room afterwards. Your brother and his best friend shared the room taking place next to yours, making it easy to reach out to him.

And for that, you were grateful since Nicholas was with him; meaning you got to see more of him throughout this trip.

You’ve had a crush on Nicholas for god knows how long, with it starting the moment your brother befriended him. You’ve technically gone through all the phases he experienced, hell, you saw him more than your own parents.

He was sweet, a little too sweet, perhaps it bothered you. Nicholas was very known among women, he knew how to attract a lady, showering her with praises until he eventually got what he wanted.

That made you extremely jealous, knowing you couldn't have him. He was forbidden, off-limits, someone you could only admire from afar.

And that stupid crush of yours led to this conversation, one you didn't want to discuss.

You: i didnt mean to send that to you

The text switched from delivered to read right away, causing your breath to catch in your throat.

nic: clearly

nic: i dont have a gf btw

Why did he feel the need to clarify that, and why were you relieved over hearing it?

You buried your face in your pillow, feeling heat reduce from your body. You’ve never been this embarrassed before, not around Nicholas. While you were weird sometimes, it was never this bad.

He wasn't supposed to know about this, nor discover it the way he did.

You: cover your eyes pls

You: this wasn't for u

nic: you sure?

nic: are there any other nics in your life?

Your stomach twisted at the message, hand coming up to cover your mouth as an audible gasp escaped your throat. How could he say that?

You felt all sorts of emotions wash over you, unable to process each one of them as you read the message over and over again.

You: what if there is

The question was risky, it could either end with him telling your brother, or him teasing you over it and brushing it off. Either way, you couldn't have him, so why not just fuck it and go with the flow?

nic: then that would be disappointing.

Your breath caught in your throat, vision going blurry as Nicholas’ bubble kept appearing and disappearing.

nic: id really hate that you feel this way about someone else

Oh my god, were you dreaming?

You could not believe your eyes. You turned off your phone, letting the dimness of the room seep through for a moment before you unlocked your device once again, heart skipping a beat when you realized it was real.

Nicholas, your brother’s best friend, might have been flirting with you, but that’s just in your head, right…?

You: ??? wdym

nic: you first

nic: was this about me, doll?

The pet name made you weak to your core, spiraling you over the edge as you put your phone down for a second. You took a deep breath, feeling your face heat up at how suggestive the boy sounded.

He sounded so desperate, you weren't sure if it was the tiredness, or him being genuine. Either way, you’re fucked, because you’re willing to do anything for him, even if it means breaking your heart.

You: what if it was

You: what will you do ab it

You felt nauseous as you waited for a response, groaning when the boy disappeared for a minute. Did you say something wrong? Why did he suddenly leave?

nic: then id risk it all

Speechless. Your mouth hung open, chest filling with lust as a breath heaved out of you.

You: are you saying this because you’re tired

nic: no

nic: god no

There was no ounce of self control in your body left. You almost screamed, overwhelmed by a new sense of emotions.

Is this how it felt? Because fucking hell.

You: it is

nic: it is what?

You: this is so embarrassing

You: why are you making me admit it you know exactly what im talking about

nic: baby

nic: jus tell me

You: no you suck im going to sleep

nic: WAIT no come here youre so cute

You blushed at the message, unable to suppress the smile forming on your lips. God, he’s such an idiot. And you were totally swooned for him.

You: i literally just sent you a message talking ab how much i wanna suck your dick what about that is cute

nic: oh? so you do admit it

You: …

You felt nervous, realizing how serious this has gotten. From a silly message turned into you contemplating whether this was a good idea. The last thing you were anticipating while typing that message was a confrontation, one from Nicholas; at that.

nic: you couldve told me yk

You: do you hear yourself

nic: ? what

You: nic you know this is wrong

You: youre gonna wake up tmr and forget all ab it

nic: you knkw

nic: yoirw so fucjinf hot

You came to a halt, noticing the amount of mistakes the boy was making. Your mind wandered somewhere else, feeling heat crawl past your neck, all the way to your face.

You: what are you saying

nic: fucking hell

nic: take the hint baby

You froze in your spot, tongue coming out to wet your lips, suddenly feeling heat travel to in between your legs. Don’t give in, don't give in, don’t give in.

You: what

nic: you couldve asked me if you were curious

nic: i wouldve happily showed you

That sent you over the edge. Your mind went fuzzy, unable to process the last few texts you received from Nicholas. He was being serious, dead serious, you were sure of that.

The texts you exchanged always revolved around your brother; usually Nicholas asking whether he was home or not. However, this one was different.

He was hinting something, something very risky that you were unable to resist.

You: dont say that

nic: what, you don't believe me?

You: nic

nic: give me five

You stared at the message on the screen, confused on what he meant. Your eyebrows furrowed with puzzlement, awaiting a message, merely to get nothing in return.

As you were about to shut your phone and go to sleep, it pinged, the notification startling you awake. You clicked on it immediately, mind going hazy as you read the message over and over again.

nic: open the door

nic: im outside your room

You didn’t hesitate as you got up, swiftly walking your way to the door. You unlocked it with haste, vision going blurry as you caught sight of Nicholas, who was standing inches away from you now.

He looked just as desperate as you were, maybe even more. And that was it, it was all you needed to pull him by the collar and cease the distance between you two.

The moment his lips collided with yours, you realized that maybe it’s worth ending up with a broken heart, because Nicholas tastes fucking addicting, and you found every way to make good use out of that obsession.

The possession of knowing he’s off limits, yet here he was, eagerly kissing you numb.

[ceilidho]

Me: I don't like fauxcest so I'll avoid the tag/ block any accounts.

Also me: I want a daddy Dom who's really big on being a prodiver, probably got daddy issues himself, is an older man and financially secure. Makes sure I'm fed, well dressed and happy. Maybe even makes me live with him so he can just freeuse me and have something to look after because he just really wants to-

Like. I know it ain't the same but everyday it feels like it's borderline treading into that territory and idk if I can face myself or have the strength to accept that about myself. Like I use to be a puritan prude in my youth so the fact I ended up with a daddy kink would make my teen self disgusted. But ya know, shit happens.

I probably won't ever pass over that territory as I do get icked out by the idea of referring to a sexual partner as 'dad' or anything like that. So it's clearly not for me but I need some people to look at themselves TRUELY look at the stuff they're into or want in a partner coz probably like me, they are one kink/good fic/wild fantasy away from the "gross icky kinks!!" They wanna ban so much

Ever since I became an adult and started exploring what I like, letting myself read fics I was like "I'm not gonna like this but I'm desperate for content" and then come out of a changed person - I do start caring less. Do I still have my own opinions and icks and such? Yeah but like, the best thing about the Internet is that you can just block tags, block people or images that don't agree with you. Keep to your bubble of people who agree with you and such, but like, if you're not atleast aware or open to the fact your views may be hypercritical or even abit weird or taboo yourself - that's just destined to fail.

I think a lot of people can't separate identity from interests either, or they feel incredibly locked in with their identity.

like, you're allowed to find things gross, block them, or enjoy reading certain topics but only to an extent (like you won't allow yourself to enjoy anything beyond your limit because you're scared about what you'll uncover about yourself). it's also fine to one day come back to those same things and reevaluate your original opinion.

I'm not sure how to describe this but I feel like a lot of people have this tendency to equate any Thing they enjoy with subsuming that thing into their personality/identity, and if you think that way, then obviously any potential interest seems like a Threat to the persona/identity you've been meticulously building your entire life. which is terrifying! i do understand that there's a large group of people that probably equate reading/enjoying any content that's remotely dark to a real life want.

I personally think the most generous thing you can do for yourself is say "okay, I enjoyed that. it doesn't have to mean anything." you can read the kinkiest erotica ever and then go on to enjoy a vanilla sex life (or no sex life! tons of asexual people enjoy erotica). it simply doesn't have to be a big deal.

and this is also not saying you have to enjoy or force yourself to enjoy content that disgusts you. the brain is just complex. if you're living life in a way that is compassionate and avoids causing harm to other people, but some of your interests/kinks tend to veer towards the dark/taboo, just give yourself the grace to realize that an interest is not this Big, Horrible thing that'll destroy you and turn you into something monstrous.

[astradelphia]

Some random observations about romance in astrology.

♍ Virgo Venus- Virgo have an eye for clean aesthetics. Think 'that girl'. Clean girl makeup. Minimalist dress. Can express love in practical ways eg did you eat today? Let me make something for you. Or going out of their way to help you. They may not even be aware that this is an act of love for them because they just do it instinctively. Virgo can be perfectionists too. They hold themselves to such high standards they might do the same to others. They might help you grow and evolve or they might be too critical- even if they see this as an act of love as they just want to help you be your best self and make the relationship its best- but could be nitpicky or fussy. Most likely to get the ick. If they meet someone who passes all their stages of overthinking they can be very devoted. There's a reason they match well with scorpio. Though more grounded and analytical then emotional this can be a good balance. Virgo represented by the maiden also can be misinterpreted. Being an earth sign I think they can be quite sensual once they've selected a partner. They might view sexuality as a basic need for wellbeing and want to embrace it on a regular basis. They can also be too bodily aware, technical or methodical. Maybe too in their heads and they need someone to bring them out of it. They want total loyalty and commitment. Some may not date unless for marriage - there's too much fine tuning to be done in their own lives to waste time on someone who isn't up to their standards of personal growth. However some Virgo may have a tendency to choose partners who need fixing. This isn't a healthy dynamic but appeals to the Virgo need to problem solve and improve things, an energy best applied elsewhere. They'd make good interior designers with their eye for aesthetics and organizational tendencies. Virgo also value taking care of health beauty and hygiene. Turn offs are the opposite of those or an untidy living environment. Acts of Service could be one of their languages. I think they could also be overthinkers so words of affirmation may be important to them too but they appreciate actions.

♎ Libra Venus - Libra is ruled by the planet Venus so this feels like a comfortable position to me. Libra's have a natural eye for beauty and love of aesthetics. They want to make the whole world beautiful. Don't mistake them as being shallow though, their definition of beauty can be broad and all the Libra's I know have a love of humanity in general. Being an air sign they're also intellectuals. You have to charm their mind to get to their hearts. Deep philosophical conversations, witty banter, discussing anything and everything, emotional intelligence, attracted to inquisitive minds. Libra's value harmony balance, cooperation and peace in all things and in relationships. They'd rather talk things out then fight it out. Might be good at compromising. Might also be very indecisive or fickle but once they truly set their minds on something that's it. They are naturally charming and flirtatious - sometimes they can flirt without meaning too or just for fun without any intention behind it. Some of them may love the idea of love but have commitment issues. Libra being a venusian sign makes them sensual creatures. Pleasure my senses vibes. Physical touch all over everywhere. Makes a good partner because they'll care just as much about your wants and needs as their own. They expect the same in return. A balanced Libra may rule with head and heart but being air signs I'm inclined to think they tend to rule with their heads a lot. Can be over thinkers. Analyzers. Might stare into your soul, scorpio gets the rep for this, but Libra love to understand people and make people feel understood. This can feel like psychoanalysis sometimes but it's out of love they really just want to know how people think maybe out of curiosity too. 'I relate' is their catchphrase.

Libra rules the lower back, hips and buttocks. May possess good qualities of these or may be attracted to them in others. Venus dimples are their characteristic.

They may intellectualize their feelings or yours. They may view emotional displays as more like a debate or discussion them emotional expression. They still mean well but this could be frustrating for some.

♏ Scorpio Venus - scorpio can get a bad reputation so going to focus less on bad stuff here. They are deep. They feel things deeply. Emotional. Very passionate, devoted and loyal. Scorpio is ruled by Pluto the planet of transformations. Being loved by a scorpio may make you transform. This can be intense and uncomfortable for some but can also be a good thing. They want to know you completely - heart, mind, body and soul. They want all your secrets and they'll keep them. They'll probably accept all the feelings you find negative in yourself. Accept your dark side. They may not be so quick to open up to you. This can feel unequal. Scorpio like a bit of mystery so don't dump everything on them in one go you can take some time too. But because they want it all but aren't willing to let you in so much it can feel frustrating. Don't rush a Scorpio though just create a safe space for them to be themselves with you and let them know that you really want to get to know them on the same level too but it's okay for them to take a bit of time. They might need time to build trust but once they're committed to you they could be the most loyal and devoted partner you've ever had. They want to merge energies. They want to make love to your soul. Everything has to mean something beyond a superficial level. Will stare into your soul. Can have an intense gaze. They like people to match or appreciate their depth and intensity but sometimes don't like being stared at even though they do it to others all the time?

Dark side of unevolved Scorpio is stalker behavior. Obsessive. Controlling. Manipulative. Possessive. Jealous. Suspicious. If they sense disloyalty whether it's there or not these traits can come out so be careful.

Could like dark aesthetics.

Jupiter aspecting Juno or Venus positively can indicate good partnership or marriage. In mythology Mars and Venus are lovers. Jupiter is the husband Juno the wife but Venus can also embody wife energy. For the same reason I think Jupiter and Moon aspects can also be an indicator as the Moon can embody feminine energy and wife energy.

8th house synastry - passion. Intensity. Transformation. Soul felt passion. Chemistry. Could be change eachother on a deep level. Pluto/Scorpio energy.

5th house synastry - Okay I love this placement! To me this seems like a best friend and a lover and you could play like kids together. Fun and joyful. It could be a fling, could be flirtatious energy or a crush that's hard to get over. Childlike spirit. Young at heart couple. Could bring out eachothers inner child and be very playful. Could also indicate wanting children together?

Aries Ascendant in composite - young at heart couple. Playful competition with eachother. Unstoppable team together. The couple that gyms or plays sports together. Activates their drive or spark. Really just like being around eachother. Could get competitive with eachother in a negative way if they forget they're on the same team.

Notes: this is just from my notes app so it's a rough thing I might improve this later and make it more pretty and aesthetic or add on to some of the observations.

Disclaimer - I am not a professional astrologer. Personally I take it all with a pinch of salt I don't think you can determine compatibility or everything about someone based on this especially not just on one placement. This is just for fun and can maybe give you some insights and clues about yourself or the other person :)

Hope you liked this post! Feel free to comment if you have other placements you'd like some notes on but please be patient as I'm not planning on posting super regularly right now.

[luvrlou]

Heyy girll can u do a niko o/s where yn gets invited to shoot with the beta squad as a guest nd ppl knows abt yn nd nikos relationship so they think it’s cute etc nd they keep flirting while they’re filming 😭🙏🏼

Cutie Patooties

Pairing: Niko Omilana x fem!reader

Summary: Niko's day seems to lighten up incredibly after a certain guest is invited into the studio.

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Recently I have been really into the beta squad and the sidemen so please keep these requests coming! This is so rushed I'm sorry!!

Word Count: 1k

The other 4 members of The Beta Squad, plus Yung Filly and Hary Pinero, were sat giddily in the studio awaiting the special guest for this Saturday's video, everyone knew this would send Niko's mood sky rocketing.

He had been in a mood for the past 2 weeks since his girlfriend, you, had been on tour for your newest album so he hadn't been able to see you. Little did he know you were going to be waltzing through that set of double doors at the rear end of the studio as soon as the cameras start rolling.

"Niko! Get up!" Kendall, one of the members of the camera crew called, he pulled himself off the couch and towards the other boys.

"Today on Beta Squad.." Kenny began the intro before Chunks interrupted.

"We have a guest!" He announced, earning a confused look from your boyfriend.

All the boys turned to look at the double doors at the back as all the cameras moved to focus on it.

The doors swung open as you waltzed in, "it's me!" You stated, twirling around.

"No way!" Niko shouted, his mood immediately lighting up.

"Yes way!" You shouted back with a laugh as he jogged over to engulf you in a hug. "Can you guys believe this? My own boyfriend didn't notice my 10-day break in shows!" You jokingly complained to the camera, earning a huff from Niko.

"Be quiet and let me enjoy your presence for 2 seconds," he mumbled, picking you up and spinning you in the air, earning a squeal from you. He placed you back down on the ground and engulfed you in yet another hug. "I missed you baby."

You both walked over to the other boys, Niko's hand grasping yours for dear life. The boys then began to explain the video. They had 5 girls waiting in the main studio as Filly was going to be playing Blind Dating Girls Based On Their Outfits.

You were sat on your boyfriend's lap, in between both Chunkz and Sharky, with Aj, Harry and Kenny in front of you on the couch.

"The Beta Squad are gonna play cupid, by trying to find, our friend Filly, love. The twist is, the girls are hidden behind a curtain, and round, by round, we'll slowly raise the curtain to reveal the girls that may take Filly's heart. Also! Another twist, Filly doesn't get to pick who goes through each round, we do. By wingmanning from another room and deciding which girls will get rejected. Let's see if we can find Filly true love!" Chunkz explained, going over each rule of the episode.

"See if Aj was doing this, he'd be able to see under." Niko stated, earning laughs from the other boys.

You turned around to him, "and if it was you, you would see over it."

"Yeah! What she said! Lanky!" Aj quipped, making Harry pull him back down to the couch.

You leaned back into Niko, Sharky audibly awing at your comfort around him. Filly started asking the girls their names and ages, without interruption from the 7 of you in the next room.

He went on to ask about icks which sparked conversation between you and the boys.

"Y/N what are your icks?" Harry asked you, making you lean further into Niko in thought.

You hummed, "I haven't really thought of any."

"Well what's one thing Niko could do that would make you be like 'wtf is that thing I'm dating'?" Kenny asked you.

You smiled in return before speaking, "I love him too much! He couldn't do anything!"

Niko grinned and kissed the top of your hair, everyone else reacted with disgusted sounds and Aj mumbled "they're so cute it's disgusting."

After a while of watching Filly talk to the women, Niko grabbed the mic.

"Ask them if they shave." He told him in a monotone voice.

"Niko!" You shrieked hitting his arm and snatching the mic. "Don't you fucking dare Finny, that is the crudest thing you can ask a girl! Instead ask what their favourite song is or something."

He smiled at the camera that was used to show you guys what was going on in the other studio. He went down the line asking what the girls' favourite songs were.

The first girl said a song by you, which made all the boys, including Finny cheer, the next said Under the Influence by Chris Brown, the next said anything by Britney Spears, and the final girl said Irregular Love by LilTjay.

"Okay, It's time for us to vote out another girl," Harry said into the mic.

"Girl 2, she really said Under the Influence, absolutely not." You stated.

This caused Chunkz to pipe up, "what's wrong with Under the Influence? Huh!"

"It's a shit song that's what's wrong with it!" Niko answered, making you nod your head proudly.

"Shut up! You're only saying that cause you don't want to upset Y/N!" Sharky exclaimed, making Niko flush.

"All I'm saying is I want rid of her," you huffed, making Niko wrap his arms around you softly.

"The fans will be loving this," Kenny laughed, indicating to you and Niko.

He was right, the number of edits you had seen floating around Instagram, Twitter and Tiktok of the two of you was crazy. They were adorable, you had to admit, and seeing the reactions of fans when you commented on their videos was enough to leave you happy for a week.

"So what? I'm just showing my girl some love." Niko nonchalantly answered, making you hide your face in his arm.

The video continued on, every so often the cameras would switch from Filly to you and Niko cuddling into eachother.

When the video came to an end Filly walked into the other studio which contained you and the boys, with his new girl, Melissa.

"Love is in the air!" Chunkz grinned, looking between you and Niko to Filly and Melissa.

[five-rivers]

Cracked Clay Cup Chapter 2

For @greatbigolhampuckjustforme

“How is this organized, anyway?” asked Daniel.  “It isn't alphabetical.”

Clockwork shuddered.  “The debate about which alphabet to use would be interminable.  No.  The list is arranged from eldest to youngest, with groups being averaged.”

“So, the oldest person is on top and the youngest person is on the bottom.”

“That is correct.”

Daniel hummed and wiped up the last of his syrup up off his plate with the last piece of his pancake.  “This Jasmine person is the youngest person who wants me.  Ick, that sounded wrong somehow.”

“She is the youngest person,” said Clockwork.  He was doing something strange with the plates in the sink.  

“Is she, like, really into plants or flowers or something?”

“Are you really into Daniels?”

“I mean.  I don’t know.  My memory’s been erased and all.  For all I know, my name isn’t even Daniel.  It could be William.  Or David.”  Still, he got the point.  He shook his head.  “Ghosts just picking random names.  What is the world coming to?”

“You could always choose to go by another name,” said Clockwork, mildly.  “You are not trapped in it.”

“I know,” said Daniel.  “I’ll keep it for now, though.  Is, um, is the…”

“Her section of the file is colored teal.”

“Thanks,” said Daniel.  He flipped through.  “These aren’t in the same order, you know.”

“I know,” said Clockwork.  He sounded very put upon.  

“You’re not the one who does the organizing, huh?”

“If only I were.”

Daniel looked over the teal pages.  There wasn’t a lot of information on them.  The name, Jasmine, her height, hair color, eye color, a few lines about interests.  

“Not a lot here.”

“You are meant to form your own opinions,” said Clockwork.  

“Enjoys pushing forward the boundaries of knowledge?” he read from the page.  “Interested in modern psychology and brain surgery?”  He looked up at Clockwork.  “This sounds like mad scientist material.”

“You can always skip her, if you feel uncomfortable.”

“No, if I’m going to do this, I’m going to be fair.  So, uh, let’s go.  Let’s do this.”

“In your pajamas?” 

“Well, it’s not like I have anything else, do I?”

“In fact, you do.  There is a closet in your room upstairs.”

“With clothes that are mine?”

“With clothes in a variety of styles in your size.  They are all new, acquired for this process, although you can keep them afterward.”

“So, no way to figure out my style except for experimentation.  Cool.  Great.  Another mystery to solve.”

“Think of it as an interesting puzzle.  An amusing way to pass the time, whilst you are experiencing the various persons who wish to gain custody of you.”

“Uh huh,” said Daniel, pushing his chair out.  “I’m going to go get changed.  Do I need to pack a bag, too, or what?”

“What, in this case.  Any clothing and toiletries you need will be sent to you.”

Daniel nodded and climbed back up the stairs to ‘his’ room.  There was a closet there that he hadn’t noticed before, across from the bathroom.  He opened the door and started to shift through the different outfits.  

That one was too complicated… ugh, weird texture… too much body exposure… ooh, gothic… but also complicated… nice skirt… robe… kilt?  He prodded at the maybe-kilt a little.  He wasn’t sure that it was a kilt.  Well, whatever.  Jeans.  T-shirt.  Hm.  Tempting, if only for its simplicity.  But maybe he wanted something that vibed with his tail a bit better.  Ooh, Egyptian.  

Eventually, he hit on a combination of loose pants, long shirt, and fringed wrap.  Yeah.  That would look good.  Comfortable.  He took off his pajamas and fluffed his tail.  That did feel good.  He put on the pants, then the shirt, and then discovered he did not have great skills with wraps.  So.  He probably didn’t wear them on a daily basis.  Still, with the help of the bathroom mirror, he managed to get it into a more or less presentable arrangement.  He thought he looked good, anyway, and that was all that mattered.  After all, if they already were getting into fights over custody of him, he didn’t exactly have to dress to impress.  

He went back down the stairs, to where Clockwork was waiting, staff in hand.  “Okay, I’m ready.  How do I look?”

“Dressed,” said Clockwork.  

“Helpful,” said Daniel.  

“I am to please.”

“So… How do we get there?”

“Through this,” said Clockwork.  He held up the staff, and a portal spun off the clock at its top.  Then, he held out a small pocketwatch.  “When you want to return, merely click the button on top.”

“Okay,” said Daniel, taking it and looping it's chain around his neck.  “And… I just go through?  No other tricks?”

“No other tricks.  It is the journey of a single step.”

“Right,” said Daniel.  He took a deep breath and stepped forward.  

The transition between places really was smooth.  One minute, he was in Clockwork's purple kitchen, the next, he was in what looked like a completely normal entryway.  

There was a girl there.  She looked human, and was about half a foot taller than he was.  Her hair was red and her cardigan was the same teal as her paper in the file.  Her eyes, too, were blue.  She… really didn’t look like a ghost at all.  She didn’t particularly look like him, either, except for her skin color.  Unless maybe some of her facial features were similar?  Nose shape, perhaps?  He didn’t really remember what he looked like well enough to say.

But, definitely, what stood out the most about her was the fact that she was a girl.  A teenager.  Not a woman, not really.  She couldn’t be more than a few years older than he was.

“Danny,” she said, jumping out of the chair and starting to smile at him. “Hi, I’m–”  She stopped.  

The girl stared.  Daniel stared back.  

“Danny, what are you wearing?” she asked.  

“Clothing,” he said.  He didn’t think this kind of outfit had any particular name.  At least, if it did, he didn’t know it.

“Oh.”

“And… you’re…”

“Oh!  I’m Jazz!  You… really don’t remember me?”

Daniel shook his head, slowly.  

“Well… They did tell me that would happen…”

“I knew you before?”

“Yes!  Yes.  I… was your mother.  Am your mother!”

“Uh,” said Daniel.  “You’re, like, seventeen.  Eighteen, maximum.”

“Time travel was involved.”

“Time travel.”

“Time travel.  You know how things are in the ghost zone.  You get a natural portal, and then, boom!  You’re fifteen years in the past, or the future!”  She laughed, nervously.  “But I’m here, now!  This version of me.  Who is definitely your mother.”

Daniel realized, then, that just because the memory wipe meant that he couldn’t know what his prior connections were, that didn’t mean that other people couldn’t try to capitalize on them.  Or lie about them.  Or lie about them badly.  

“Time travel,” said Daniel, again.  

“I mean, you’re staying with Clockwork, right?”

“Uh, yeah, so?”

“So, he’s sort of a major player in the time travel scene, right?”

“He is?”  It’d explain the clock theme, at least.  

“He is.”

“Oh.  Cool.”  He still didn’t believe her time travel story, though.  “So, like.  If you were time traveling, who raised me?”

“Your, uh, grandparents.  But they can’t really, uh, do it, anymore.  For reasons.  And I’m back!  In the proper time!   So I want to take care of you now.  And this will start our bonding bonanza!  We can start with a tour of the house!”

What.  She did not just say that.  

“Are they the ones who’re disputing your custody?  Because it is a dispute, right?  That’s what this thing is all about.”

“I mean, um, there are seven groups, right?  Counting me?  So, no, it’s not because of them.”

“Right,” said Daniel.  That didn’t rule them out, though.  Maybe they were the ones at the top of the list.

“So, obviously, this is the entryway… At least, you know, when there’s a door.”

Daniel looked behind him.  There was, indeed, no door.  “What?”

“Something about the rules to these things.  We’re not supposed to leave for the duration.”

“What about food?”

“It’s brought in, the same way you were.  So, over here is the kitchen.”

The kitchen was a long, galley affair, with tile countertops and cute floral backsplashes.  It was much more normal than Clockwork’s, at least in terms of colors.  There was a fridge, a microwave, a toaster, and a dishwasher.  

“Do you know who the other six groups are?”

“I mean… I have a guess about some of them, but I don’t really know.  I’d thought Clockwork would be one of them for sure, but…”

“What, really?”  That, at least, didn’t seem like a lie.  “But he’s the neutral party?”

“Yes,” said Jazz.  “But I thought that the two of you were close.  But maybe it was more along the lines of being, I don’t know, work friends.”

“Huh,” said Daniel.  “I… Okay.”

“Yes.  Okay.  So, the fridge is completely safe, no biological or ectobiological samples stored in it.  Just food.  Normal, edible food.  We’ll do the dishes together, of course.  Cups are in here, dishes, pots and pans–”

“Your profile said you were interested in brain surgery,” said Daniel.  

“Oh, yes, that’s one of the things I’m thinking about studying in college!  Once I get into college.  Which will be soon.”

“So, you don’t have, like, a mad science lab in here where you do brain surgery or something like that?”

The girl stared at him.  “Are… you sure you don’t remember anything?”

This was not a promising question.  “Yeah, why?”

“Because you’re assuming that I have a mad science lab in here.  I’m  a high school senior.”

“Which means it’s weird that you’re here with a house at all.”

She made a face.  “It’s… I had some help getting it.  The house, I mean.  But there’s no mad science lab.  There will never be a mad science lab.  Unless you want a mad science lab.  I could probably make some calls.”

“I don’t want a mad science lab.  Why would I want a mad science lab?”

“I don’t know, to tinker in?  You used to do some, um, tinkering.  Mechanical engineering stuff.”

“That’s more of a garage thing, though, isn’t it?”

“I… don’t know.  You only ever did it in the lab.”

“So, we used to have a mad science lab.”

“That’s– I mean–  No.”

Definitely a lie.  They totally had a lab.  Or, at least, Jazz used to have a lab.  What was going on that they had a lab?  Something sinister, doubtlessly.  

“Did you dissect brains in this lab?”

“No!  Like I said, I’m only a student.  A student that is interested in a lot of things, but right now, my thesis is about Ghost Envy.”

“You’re a high school student with a thesis?”

“I’m a high achiever.  Have to make up for all that time lost time traveling.  You’d think you’d gain time!  But.  Yeah.”  She smiled tightly and nodded.  “Living room next!  We have a, er, one of those consoles.  For video games.  I got it from a friend.”

Daniel let Jazz drag him around the house.  It was kind of nice, except for how nervous she got whenever he probed about his past or her supposed time travel.  He didn’t really feel threatened by her, per se, but the lying… it definitely gave him a bit of, how should he put this, anxiety.  

“And here’s your bedroom, Danny!”

The bedroom was actually really cool.  Unlike the rest of the rooms, it had a very clear, very obvious theme beyond just house people can live in.  The theme was space.  The walls and ceiling were painted with constellations.  There were model rockets on shelves.  The desk had an astrolabe and a small model solar system on it, alongside astronomy books.  There were also some novels, composition notebooks and sketchbooks, alongside a variety of markers, but those were tiny points about the overwhelming amount of space.  Even the decorative throw cushions on the bed had galaxy patterns on them!

Danny… he really liked it.  He guessed he had to admit that, at least, Jazz had known him before, and had known him reasonably well.  Even if she wasn’t his mother.  

She’d also turned around to play with a deadbolt on the door.  

“It locks from the inside, because, well, I figured you’d be a bit nervous, staying with someone you know nothing about, and a lock might make you feel safer.”

She wasn’t wrong about that.  “Hey, speaking of safety, you’re still, like, alive?  Human?”

“Yes?” said Jazz.

“Isn’t it a bit weird, trying to get custody of a ghost?”

“Oh, um, I suppose it’s a bit unusual, but you’re my b– My son.  Definitely my son.  So, it’s worth it.  It doesn’t matter to me if you’re a ghost or a human or– Wait, Clockwork told you, right?”

“Told me… what?”

“That you’re not, you know, a normal ghost.”

“I… he might have said something about that.  About being an unusual kind of ghost.”

“So he didn’t tell you that you’re only half ghost?”

“That’s not a thing.”

“It’s a thing.  You can change back and forth between a human - more human - form, and a ghost form.  Like this.”  She gestured at him.  

Danny stared at her.  “That’s not a thing.”

“It is!  Oh, jeez, I can’t believe Clockwork left it to me to explain.”  She crossed her arms and turned away.  “I don’t know how to explain this.”

“Wait, does that mean my dad is a ghost in this story?  Are you saying that you, as a human, and a ghost–”

“No.  You died.  That sounds terrible.  I mean, you, um.  You sort of died.”

“How did I die that I managed to die only halfway?”

Jazz opened and closed her mouth several times.  “I didn’t witness it–”

“But you know.”

“It was– Do you really want to know?  I mean, regardless, I’m still your– your mom.  And I want to be.  And that kind of thing is really traumatic.”

“What was it?”

She looked like she didn’t want to answer.  Danny poured all his effort into a forceful, expectant stare.  

“It… was a lab accident.”

Silence.  

“Like, um.  A ghost lab.”

More silence.

“Okay,” said Danny.  He bit his lower lip.  “Right.”

“I’ll just leave now,” said Jazz.  “Make yourself at home.  Because it is!”  She stepped out.  

“Yep,” said Danny.  He closed the door and slid home the deadbolt.  Then he put his hand around the pocketwatch, lightly touching the button on top.  “Okay.  I’ll be okay.  I can always leave if she tries to examine my brain, and… I should give her a fair chance.  Right.”

[uchihaxitachi]

itachi hcs with a pregnant s/o:

itachi was the happiest man on earth when he got to know that you're pregnant. he truly did love you a lot. despite the uchihas being ill-famous for promoting clan marriages and arranged marriages; itachi did none of those things. he married someone not from his clan. all the backlash he received was brutally stomped by the uchiha when he claimed the title of the hokage. people did talk behind his back about it, but it didn't bother him. he had two goals -- keep his family safe, keep konoha safe.

it was one of the few times you saw itachi's eyes glossed, when you braced yourself for a reaction from him after sharing the news. "that- you blessed me today, my angel." he happily declares, pulling you close and kissing you softly, there weren't any emotions he could muster up except unadulterated, unfiltered and sort of overwhelming love for you.

the whole pregnancy was kept a secret, only the closest of people knew. mikoto, fugaku, sasuke, your family, shisui maybe. that's all. itachi was presumed as someone who stretched his working hours but ever since you had been pregnant, he always left work on time. not a minute late. anything else can wait, absolutely urgent things can be handled accordingly. nothing is as urgent as his wife and unborn child.

itachi is a master chef, he makes sure he masters things to the point of perfection. no matter what he tried. culinary skills were one of them. creating diet-plans and extensively following them. you had a filled pantry for all your mood swings. you had the best breakfast and dinner. lunch you could manage for yourself and your man. though itachi never obligated you to.

itachi has always given you flowers every week, this only changed to the quantity of them doubled. he needs to gift the child the flowers too. you don't know this but one of the flowers are always placed on itachi's hokage desk so he knows when it's time to change them. he also tends to them when he's at home with you. easy to observe.

when you start gaining weight and feeling insecure about it, itachi is more than happy to give you a ted-talk, and if needed… show you how perfect you are by loving you. of course he has read he needs to be slow and gentler while making love. your unhinged thirst and his unhinged lust that comes out at times needs to, and has to wait for now.

itachi brings you monthly gifts to commemorate your pregnancy, every month a little trinket of appreciation for his wife. some days it can be extremely materialistic, some days it's a beautifully handwritten letter from itachi that he wrote while you were asleep.

itachi loves to talk to the baby, leaning against the headboard while you lean against his chest, he rubs your belly and muses, talking to them about how this world is something he promises would be a safe space. how they don't have to be a ninja if they don't want to. how he will try to balance his work duties and the duties of being the 'best' otou san!

when you feel nausea and the joint pain, itachi is there for relief. always bringing foods that reduce the restlessness. since you can't be too dependent on the medications as a pregnant lady.

itachi loves taking bubble baths with you, soothingly massage your body and just let you relax. he's figured out which scented candle you like during pregnancy mostly by the ick in your facial expressions alone. DAMN HE'S THE BEST MAN EVER I WOULD CRY

[sturniolo-rat]

Chapter 1: Cherry Contact

A/N: If this flops, I’m going to cry😢 In loving memory of @newsourceofnonsense, she's not dead; I just like the memory of her.

Contains: smut, oral, fingering , exhibitionism, plot

TW: tell me if you find any

Chris and Y/N are two walking commitment issues that enter into a mutually assured attachment.

Everyone thinks Y/N is a book hoarder, but she considers herself more of a book collector. She has over 700 books that take up damn near her whole apartment. The collection consists primarily of special and first-edition books. It’s probably worth around $50,000, but she doesn’t care because she plans on keeping them forever. To fund her obsession, she works as a waitress at a restaurant that just opened up called “The Copper Kitchen.” her best friend, Dorset, is a freckle-faced white girl with short brown hair, green eyes, and circle glasses. She also happens to be a bartender at “The Copper Kitchen.” Currently, Y/N is outside of her apartment waiting for Dorset so they can carpool to work. When Dorset pulls up in her shitty car, Y/N is ecstatic because she has big news to share. 

“Dot, I’ve done it!” she says as she hops into the passenger seat. 

“Wh- what have you done?” She’s very concerned that Y/N has done something crazy. It wouldn’t be the first time. The last time something like this happened, she told Dorset that she got her ex’s name tattooed on her left ass cheek.

“I’ve decided to have sex with men again!”

Dorset is relieved. “OMG! Yes! We can finally fight over men again!” They laugh as she merges back onto the road to begin the short trip to work.

“Yep, I’m meeting a guy at the restaurant after my shift,” Y/N says proudly. She's been off men since her break up three years ago, and this new guy is the first not to give her the ick within the first week of talking. She knows meeting up doesn’t automatically mean sex, but she hasn’t had dick in 3 years and feels that she owes it to herself to fuck this man. It’s not like she’s interested in anything else from him. Romance is strictly off the table for her. She prefers to stick to smutty romance books and shitty Tumblr fanfics of perfectly romanticized versions of men. 

“Oh, I can’t wait to hear all about your little hookup.” They part as they head to their respective jobs at the restaurant—time to deal with shitty customers who tip like assholes. 

Twenty minutes before the end of her shift, the most obnoxious kids walk in. They’re not actually kids; they're about 20, but Y/N considers anyone under 22 a kid, and these guys seem incredibly immature.

“Hey guys!” Says Nick, holding up the camera. “Welcome to today’s Friday vlog where we will be…”

Matt takes the camera, “trying the food at…” 

Chris gets into the shot and yells, “The Copper Kitchen!”

Nick hits Chris in the head “Don’t yell in my fucking ear!” 

“Don’t hit me, Dickface!” Chris hits him back while Matt holds the camera and laughs to the side.

The Y/N comes up and loudly asks, “Is this your whole party?” She gives them a disapproving look. 

Matt is the first to speak, “Yes, ma’am, it’s just the three of us today.”

“Sorry, ma’am,” said Nick and Chris in unison. Chris is noticeably more embarrassed than Nick is. He’s absolutely mortified to be seen acting like a child in front of such a beautiful woman.

“Thank you. Let me show you to your table.” She picks up three menus before walking them to their seats. Only when they’re all sitting and looking up at her does she realize that the three boys are triplets. “Can I start you off with something to drink?” 

She points to Matt. “Root beer, thanks.”

She points to Nick. “Water, if you don’t mind.”

She points to Chris. “What’s the best virgin mixed drink you guys have?”

“I’m not sure, but you can never go wrong with a Shirley Temple. Do you want me to go ask the bartender?” She would love to tell Dorset about the sexy triplets that just stumbled in.

“Nope, we’re all good. I’ll take a Shirley Temple and a Pepsi.”

“Great. I’ll be back in a few with your drinks.” 

Y/N practically runs to Dorset. Chris can’t help but watch her ass as she walks to the bar to order his drink. When she returns a few minutes later, she hands Chris his drinks last.

“Thank you for the Pepsi, but this…” he lifts the mixed drink and hands it to her. “is for you, miss…” he pauses to look at her name tag. “Y/N. It’s an apology for making a scene in your restaurant.”  Nick and Matt are in shock over how forward he’s being. Chris has never really flirted in front of them before. It’s kind of weird, but they can see why he has so many girls in and out of his room. 

“Well, thank you…”

“Chris.” he interrupts. “Please, call me Chris.” he gives Y/N a charming smile.

“Thank you very much, Chris. However, my shift is over, and Michelle will serve you for the rest of the night.” 

“I’m sorry to see you go, miss Y/N, but I hope you have a good day.”

“Will do, Chris,” says Y/N before she walks away to sit across the room at the bar. She talks to Dorset about her date tonight while she waits for him. His name is Theo. He’s blonde with deep brown eyes, and from what Y/N can tell from sexting, he’s so fucking good at dirty talk. Unfortunately, he is 30 minutes late to meet her. 

Chris has been relatively quiet for today’s video. He’s been distracted watching Y/N enjoy his drink and seeing her smile and laugh with her friend. She looks somewhat distressed now, and Chris can't help but think he’s found his opening. He makes the boys wrap up the video and leaves to get Y/N’s number. 

He turns on his charm and sits on the stool next to her. “What’s got you so worried, miss Y/N.”

“Pretty sure I’m being stood up. I’m also pretty sure people under 21 can’t sit at the bar.”

“Who says I’m not 21? Maybe I’m here to buy you another drink.” 

Y/N cocks her eyebrow as she calls her friend over. “Order me something then.”

Chris tries to think his way out of this. “Listen, you guys are friends, right? She’s just been stood up, and a handsome young man would like to buy your friend a drink. I’m sure if you just forget to card me this one time and let me buy her a Shirley Temple with vodka and extra cherries, it would make her night ten times better.”

“My hands are tied, Y/N. You’re my weakness.” she looks to Chris. “Dirty Shirley coming right up.”

“You’re fuckin’ smooth, aren’t you?” asks Y/N. 

Much more confident than he was moments before Chris responds, “Yes, ma’am, I am. Now tell me all about the bad man who hurt you.”

“I’m not really hurt,” she replies, but Chris can tell she’s hiding something. 

“No?” he questions.

Dorset comes with her drink, and Y/N takes a nervous sip. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course you can, Miss Y/N.”

“I’m not hurt. I was just really horny, and I got my nails done for this date, and not I can’t even touch myself at home because my nails are so sharp,” she says, completely embarrassed. She doesn’t make eye contact with him and focuses intensely on eating her maraschino cherries. 

“I don’t mean to be too forward, but…” he leans in, whispering in Y/N’s ear, “ I think I can help you with that.” She doesn’t miss a beat. She takes his hand and drags him to the large family bathroom. Dorset claps and cheers them on openly as they make their way. Y/N makes a mental note to get her back somehow later. 

She palms him through his pants, and Chris grabs her face, pulling her into a rough, hurried kiss. “Oh, fuck. You taste like cherries.” he hikes up her uniform skirt and rubs her over her panties. 

“You have yourself to thank for that.” 

He spins her around so he can watch her face in the mirror as he touches her. “You’re also soaked. Do I have myself to thank for that, too?” before she can say anything, Chris’s finger is spreading her lips apart and playing at her entrance. 

She closes her legs in response. “Nope, not so fast. You gotta eat it first.”

Chris sinks to his knees. “Yes, ma’am.” he wastes no time. He spreads her thighs apart, slides her panties to her knees, and starts lapping at her clit from behind. He’s got to be quick because his brothers are waiting for him. 

She bends over the sink, propping herself up on her forearms. “Oh, fuck!” she groans. 

“Hush, Cherry. Don’t want to get fired for fucking on the job, do we?.” The vibrations from his laugh makes Y/N’s pussy shiver causing her to wiggle a little. Chris loves watching her ass jiggle. “Has anyone ever eaten your ass?” he parts her cheeks and gives her a playful spank. “You have such a cute little asshole. Do you mind if I try?” 

“Yeah, you can try,” she says sheepishly, hiding her face from the mirror. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t forget to give your clit some attention.” 

“Oh, yes! Just like that!” Y/N cries out louder than she means to as his tongue explores her ass. He rubs her clit with the pad of his finger, and she lets out a breathy moan. Chris is hard as a fucking rock, and she’s making such pretty sounds. It’s torture not to touch himself, but he came here to help her out and needs to focus on making her cum. 

“Yeah. Tell me how you like it.” 

“Fingers, please,” she begs. 

“Tell me how many you need, Cherry?”

“Two. Just two, please.” Y/N takes his fingers inside of her with ease. He searches for a moment to find that special spot of hers. “Right there!” 

Chris is so happy with how open she’s been to him. The girls he’s been with recently have been so meek. She’s such a good girl telling him just where she needs him. He works his fingers into her faster, making sure to hit her G spot every time. Y/N starts pushing herself back on his fingers. Chris feels her pussy begin to tighten like a vice around him. “You’re such a good fucking girl. Cum for me, Cherry. Cum on my fingers.” her legs giveaway as her climax burns through her, and Chris has to hold her up as he tries to work her through it. 

When her orgasm subsides and her vision comes back, Chris is on the floor holding her. She rests her head on his chest and says, “Thank you. That was fucking amazing.”

“Anytime, Cherry. I don’t expect any reciprocation today, but I feel I am owed your phone number.” He hands her his phone, and the new contact is already open. 

“Of course, here’s my number, Chris.” she hands the phone back to him, gets back onto her feet, and pulls her panties up. She leaves without saying goodbye. Chris looks down at his phone and smiles at her contact name. “Y/N🍒 (Sexy Waitress)”

Masterlist

Taglist

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[lets-go-hurt-someone]

I should probably let my thoughts coalesce on this more before posting, but what the hell.

I’m calling death of the author a little bit on Welch regarding Ascended Astarion. I’m sorry, but embracing his nature as a vampire does not make him inherently sexualised. That’s just so gross and I don’t accept it.

The main vampire trope in fiction does indeed seem to be that vampire=sex. If you’ve been alive in the past, oh, entire history of humanity, you may also have noticed that some people think woman=sex. Just the very act of existing as a woman makes you a sex object in some people’s eyes, and it’s an uphill battle fighting tooth and nail to claw back any agency. And then, the moment a woman does anything sexual, dares to declare openly that she does have a sexuality, she is told “See! We were right! You are an object! You want to be an object!”

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but there is nothing inherent about anyone that makes them a sex object. Not big boobs, not a nice ass, not your chromosomes, not your weight, your skin colour, nothing.

Embracing anything about yourself cannot make you an object because you are not an object.

So saying that ascending Astarion — the ending where he embraces his vampiric nature, which he did not choose and cannot change — is accepting that vampire=sex and forcing him to eternally be a sex object is just so fucking boring and uninteresting and in my humble and very articulate opinion, gives me the ick.

His relationship to sex may be unhealthy. It might not. (I’d argue it is, but that’s me.) Spawn might be a healthier ending for him. It might not. (It’s a debate we will never settle because nothing is so black and white.)

But what I will argue vehemently is that from the moment he’s tadpoled, Astarion ceases to be an object. His story is about reclaiming lost agency. It’s about a messy path to healing or redemption or not (or some other mix of it all). But it is not about becoming a slave again. It’s not about him continuing to live for what he can do for other people.

He gets his autonomy back. What is the fucking point otherwise?

[waitingonher]

h.o.o. characters & their icks

characters: percy jackson, annabeth chase, jason grace, piper mclean, leo valdez, frank zhang, & hazel levesque

content warning: slight cursing

word count: 853

author's note: idk if some of these are necessarily icks? but 😆

percy jackson

percy thinks he’s sooooo cool for growing up in nyc 😒😒

he’d say some new york specific lingo and would be all like “oh hah sorry, i forgot you aren’t from new york.” 

it is not that serious percy. 

somehow he always finds ways to relate things back to new york. you could be talking about a weird homeless person outside a convenience store, and he’d be like “well i’ve seen worse in new york.” 

percy lost his metrocard one time, but you guys needed to take the subway somewhere so he tried to act so nonchalant about hopping over the turnstiles. 

“oh yeah, i do it all the time. i’m basically a pro.” 

then, he went to jump over it only for his foot to get caught. he face planted onto the floor. when percy got up, he tried to act like he didn’t care, but you could see the embarrassment in his eyes. 

not his best moment! 

annabeth chase

in her own way, annabeth lowkey mansplains a lot 😭😭

she doesn’t mean to, but whenever she explains certain concepts or ideas, she comes off as super condescending. 

it could be the most niche subject ever, and she’d be peeved when you don’t know anything about it. i’m sorry i don’t know shit about a random philosopher who died hundreds of years ago 😒 

(i’d let annabeth mansplain to me any day of the year) 

jason grace

if no one orders for him, jason’s go-to are chicken tenders and fries. it’s not that he’s picky, it’s just that he’s so accustomed to ordering it, that he simply forgets he can order other things.

it’s as if his eyes just ignore everything else on the menu and only look for chicken tenders and fries. like, it’s okay to eat something other than that… 😕

when he orders at restaurants, the waiter always gives him the strangest looks. because why is a 6’0 athletic-looking teenager in here ordering chicken tenders off the kids menu. 

speaking of kids menus, jason treats the little activities on them so, so seriously. not to say that the activities aren’t fun, but he’s oddly obsessed over them. he gets genuinely upset when food or drink splatters gets on it because he likes taking them home?? jason please tell us why these little word searches and connect-the-dots matters so much to you. 

piper mclean

piper always claims that animals love her. (they do not) 

whenever she encounters wildlife, she’d start calling it over just for it to run away from her. “oh no, i think you scared it off” is her excuse 90% of the times. 

i know for a fact it wasn’t me. it was definitely you and your bad excuse for a squirrel call. 

she’s also convinced she can charmspeak animals too. last time she tried, the cat ended up smacking her across the face. 

when will piper learn 💔

leo valdez 

to all the leo lovers out there…i’m sorry to say that he’d have that little mustache after he drinks anything. he’s always rocking that milk mustache!!

after a long day of working in bunker 9, you’ll see him walking around camp with a bright red stain above his lip. you won’t even have to ask him to know that he was drinking fruit punch gatorade.

leo even gets that little stache with water?? it’s not as prevalent, but it’s definitely there. if he’s under the right lighting, you can see his top lip just glistening. 

you always have to remind him to wipe his mouth after taking a sip of anything. but it’s just as worse when he wipes his mouth because he uses the back of his hand or his sleeve…

if you go through his closet, there’s a high chance that you’ll find some of his shirts with different colored stains at the bottom of the sleeves. someone get leo some napkins please! 

frank zhang

whenever frank wears flipflops, his toes always hang over the edge of them. the worst part is that he really does not see an issue with it. he thinks it’s fine because “it’s just loungewear.” 

yes it may just be loungewear, but i promise you that no one wants to see your toes hanging out like that.

even if someone buys him a bigger size, he’d still find a way to have his toes over the edge. 

at this point, everyone just thinks that frank finds it comfortable so they don’t say anything anymore.

hazel levesque

hazel’s the type to enter those random instagram giveaways… 

she’d tag you in the comments and would text you asking you if you could follow the account and tag five people too. 

please hazel, you’re not gonna win that $300 amazon giftcard or that new laptop. give it up!! 

somehow she finds so many different giveaways?? you’re always tagged at least once a week. it’s gotten to the point where she’s entered so many giveaways, that people start recognizing her username. they feel genuine pity for her because why is @horselover1217 entering a giveaway for the third time this week.

[sad-scarred-sassy]

make 3 acotar confessions that would get you in trouble *evil laugh*

Omgg I don’t know if this will get me in trouble or not but okay let’s do it…

- Feysand bores me to death as it is portrayed in canon (although the fanart is very pretty excluding the SA romantic depictions) I think I was done with them by the middle of ACOMAF. Sometimes I wish I understood the hype because ppl seem to be having fun with them (have fun guys). But yeah, I was so much more enthralled by feylin and if you look closely, i think Feysand is a half-hearted replica of feylin but with less consent and less 🔥 (my humble opinion). I think they would be a lot more interesting if they were openly considered toxic, but they are supposedly a perfect couple.

- If I could choose an ending for the sisters, I wouldn’t want any of them to stay in the Night Court with the bat boys. The archeron sisters deserve so much more than that (anything other than that actually). As it is, acotar feels like when actually bad people get their happily ever after while decent people suffer and I don’t like it 🙂 (Ill keep reading fanfiction correcting this bc I do love the other characters) (also acotar 6 might break this pattern so thats why im also still here)

- Tamlin is a much more interesting character than Rhysand. He was probably not the most complex character in the first book, but SJM trying to make him ‘bad’ actually gave him so many layers and spice. I would eagerly read a book only about him and his journey.

And a bonus no one asked for:

- I wish people also called what Rhys did to Feyre UTM (and throughout the other books) abuse as easily as people call out Tamlin’s abusive behavior. Somehow what Rhysand did is never addressed as ‘that bad’ but what Tamlin did is, constantly. Even in posts that have nothing to do with him. It icks me.

Okay bye

[f0point5]

The double standards in stans reactions to the wolffs doing something versus anybody else in this fandom is something else. The stans use everything and anything to discredit their behateds moral character but when it's their beloved wollfs they pretend not to see it. Toto cheated on his wife the mother of his older kids with Susie his employee at the time can this fandom as whole not hold them as the unproblematic power couple. Toto is known to have had as ignorant takes as Marko but because of the gokarts in the rain comment on dts Toto is the Saint that would've saved max in their eyes as if toto isn't buddies with jos irl for years

I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS TOTO LORE?!

Am I shocked? Um no because he’s a good looking billionaire can be real for a sec here 😂 but we clearly don’t talk about this bit of lore enough because…tell me more.

Yeah, like if you look at the people Toto is known to be friendly with…it tells a story. And no shade to him, you don’t have to agree with someone’s every action to be friends with them, and you don’t have to apologise for being friends with someone anyway. But. It’s a little hilarious that you want to get high and mighty about “issues” when you have been friends with vilified personality Jos Verstappen, and (even jokingly) offer to have Helmut Marko on board in the team when you have been preaching about diversity for the last decade. My guy, be so real with me right now. It’s okay to be who you are, you just have to be honest about it.

Side note, people do overcook the rivalries between these people. At the end of the day, these guys are all friends/friendly. They live in a Petri dish and they share passions/interests, why would they not be friends? Also, let’s not forget that crowd favourite Nikki Lauda was besties with Helmut, too. The whole “guilty by association” thing is such a stupid game to play in F1 because they are ALL associated at management level.

Lol Toto is the Francis of Assisi of F1, patron Saint of the downtrodden and dispossessed. His rehab centre for washed up drivers will never not be funny to me. I low-key find his adoption of driver creepy but that’s a topic for a different ask lol.

We all know I get the ick from Toto and Susie, they’re just not a bit of me. There’s a bit of self righteousness there that is just so…not for me.

I am not in the least surprised that her statement has been well received. She is indeed well liked. That being said, I do think that on top of the RB stuff and the Sulayem investigation, any statement of this nature would be well received right now. People are baying for “transparency”, whatever that means. So I don’t think she’s receiving unusual/heightened support for this particularly.

But in general, I agree that those two could get away with murder.

[diamondkat]

Regarding Alastor being redeemed, I have been seeing some posts regarding how it can happen that trigger an instant ick reaction from me. I have taken time to think about why I keep having such a strongly negative reaction to it. The first thing I took into consideration is that I really do not want my current favourite bad boy to become good. I am first and foremost a villain fan and his becoming good has a high chance of ruining the character for me. This means that there is a chance that I would dislike any theory that ends with Alastor redeemed. A lot of time you see people making arguments for why a ship or character should not be liked when the real reason is they personally don't like it and the reasons are merely support. I try to make sure I am aware of my personal bias.

Regardless of my personal bias, I have decided that there is one particular theory regarding how Alastor can be redeemed that I hate from the bottom of my heart. It is the theory where Alastor after being humiliated, degraded and losing everything including his pride has no choice but to accept Charlie's care and change for the better. Sometimes it involves betraying the hotel first, but generally involves him being unable to deal with the challenges that he faces. I am sure how this works in the minds of those who like this theory makes perfect sense. He can no longer rely on himself, he sees that he isn't capable of anything and now has no choice but to become what Charle wants him to be. I hate it so much. I have kept turning it over in my mind and I think I have figured out all the reasons why separate from my bias.

First, suffering doesn't make people better. It just doesn't. The theory seems to require enough suffering to rewrite Alastor's personality and make him Charlie's puppet. It also reminds me of William Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew. The story of how the proud woman was broken down to make her obedient. She might be "better" but it also felt to me like she died and became a puppet. He would be "redeemed" but that wouldn't be Alastor. It would just be something that looks like him. I just feel like fans of Alastor who like this theory don't realise that he would lose everything that pulled them to him in the first place if this happened. Some could not deal with him being less energetic in the main show than the pilot due to him being bored. How would they deal with what would essentially be a hollow creature wearing his face trying to become good because there is nothing left in him?

Second, with a proud character you can't brute force them into letting people in. Part of the idea of the theory is that after he is humiliated and suffers in front of them, he will drop his smile and be forced to let others in. That doesn't make sense to me. We have already seen in S1E8, how Alastor deals with things not going his way. He holds onto what little control he has by refusing to drop his smile and holding onto his pride while going through a breakdown. The best way to get someone like Alastor as far as I am concerned is to deal with him the same way you would deal with a wild animal. Slowly lower their guard. I think Charlie is already doing that whether Alastor knows it or not. Besides, pride is an important part of the character. Pride is part of what drew me to the character in the first place. The kind of pride that makes a person think it is okay to say, "If I wanted to hurt anyone here I would have done so already" in front of the Princess of Hell, is part of what drew me to Alastor. If he lost it, the character would likely immediately lose all appeal to me. So, there is some personal bias there.

It would make sense to me if the theory was more about Alastor learning that he can rely on others and doesn't have to depend solely on himself which leads to him opening up and letting others in. However, the theory leans very heavily into suffering as a way to make him a better person and a complete erasure of everything that makes up the character through suffering to make him into someone who wants and is worthy of redemption. That's fine for fanfiction but I hope it never becomes canon.

[wintfleur]

👩🏻‍🎨 ͡ ꒱ STELLAS RELATIONSHIP WITH HER BESTIES

au masterlist — you can find asks under #💌stellahughes!

°. — LILY!

Their theme song is ‘I Ain’t Worried’ by OneRepublic

Lily met Stella when her family moved in next door to the Hughes. Lily had accidentally Jack in the face with her volleyball, and Stella instantly befriended her after the sassy remark Lily said to Jack when he started to whine about being hit.

Stella and Carmen were having a tea party in Stella's backyard and Stella invited Lily over and the three became inseparable since then!

Lily dreams of becoming a professional volleyball player, she is one of the star players for umich team, she got a scholarship to go to umich.

Lily is an amazing golfer and Stella finds it amazing because Lily has never had any proper training. Lily just once went along to the golf course with Stella and her brothers and they were all shocked at how good Lily is. Lily and Stella are an unbeatable duo!

Lily’s nicknames are: lils, lilypad,and lee.

Lily is the ‘Crazy one’ in the trio

Lily is very protective of her friends and family, she will do anything to make sure they are okay!

The quote blondes have more fun is perfect for her! Lily is always up to something

A big party girl!

There are rumors around the campus that there is a thing going on between her and mark, but they have neither confirmed nor denied!

‘Do you wanna play mermaids?’ She was that kid!

Lilys love language is words of affirmation and threatening to beat someone up for you

Lily has 1 older sisters and a year younger brother that she loves to tease.

Lily loves spending summers with Stella and everyone, but she goes to France every summer with her family!

Lily has a small crush on Cole and everyone knows but she continues to deny it, Lily is such a confident girl so it’s funny to see how shy she gets in front of Cole!

Lily and Stella got their nipples pierced together !, Carmen holding there hands

She’s always flirting with Stella and Carmen

She has a loud but fun personality, definitely someone you would want to be friends with

°. — CARMEN!

Their theme song is ‘Dance With Me Tonight’ by olly murs

Stella and Carmen have known each other the longest, their parents being very close friends. It was always Carmen and Stella until Lily came along, and they happily became the most iconic trio everr.

Carmen is on the figure skating team with Stella, they have been skating together since they were very little.

Carmen loves figure skating but her real passion is photography and videography, she has said many times that Stella is her muse.

Carmen's nicknames are: mins, minnie, and caro

Carmen is the ‘mom ’ in the trio

Stella is the ‘shy one’ in the trio

Carmen is pansexual

Carmen also likes going to parties, almost always is the designated driver

A lot of people assume Carmen is timid from her appearance and how she portrays herself but she is far from that!

Carmen had a crush on Jack for a few weeks until she got the ick watching him dramatically celebrate beating her, Luke and Stella in monopoly. They were like 13, and she confessed to Stella after she realized the crush was over!

Carmen’s love language is gift giving and physical touch with her besties !

Carmen almost always spends summers with the Hughes family, their family’s are very close and are always together, celebrating holidays, going out, all of it !!

Carmen is an only child !! But her older cousin Liam has lived with them since he was 6, he was adopted and is great friends with the Hughes brothers. (Liam is the same age as Quinn)

Carmen wants to make a podcast with Stella and Lily!

Carmen is secretly a yapper!

Can not flirt to save her life

Carmen is very competitive, and won’t let anyone talk down on her because she’s quieter than others!

°. — TREVOR!

Their theme song is ‘Team’ by Lorde

Stella and Trevor have known each other for a long time! They had gone through a lot of phases in their friendship.

The first phase was that Stella couldn't stand him (lasted for like 5 months) he was loud and obnoxious, she had made it clear she preferred cole . . . by a lot ! The next phase was Stella realizing she had a crush on him (that did not last long) They had become close very fast after Stella realized that her crush was gone, Stella now thinking of Trevor as another much more annoying brother!

Trevor will always be on Stella's side no matter what! And boy did that annoy Jack but there's nothing anyone can do about that.

Trevor is always one of the first people Stella tells anything too!

Trevor’s nicknames are: trev, Z, and trevi.

They talk at least once a day!

These two have so many inside jokes, they will just break out into laughter and everyone is like ???

Do not leave them with a golf cart

If Stella is not ready to tell her brothers something she will tell Trevor first.

Many of his ex’s hated Stella for how close they are!

Trevor is always yapping about Stella !!

So many iconic moments of them being shown on the big screen at games !!

Stella hates swimming and has a big fear of drowning, but she feels a lot more comfortable in the water with Trevor

They are always teasing and having play fights !

Trevor is the one who has been featured the most on her YouTube channel

These two are such gossipers together

They are true besties mhm!!

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( I know this is short! But I really wanted to get it out and I honestly didn’t know what else to add! But basically Stella has a great and close relationship with them all! I was thinking of adding Tate to this because she is also really close with Stella but I decided not too! )

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( I didn’t put a lot of information, so feel free to send in questions about Lily and Carmen !!! And Stella’s relationship with them and Trevor !!! )

°. — taglist ( @privatemythss @cixrosie @toasttt11 @lxvelyzoe @lovings4turn x )

[nikethestatue]

Am I the only one who feels uncomfortable with the Gwyn and Azriel ship?

First, their initial meeting — they met at the worst possible moment, with all the bad memories it must bring up for both of them. In the bonus chapter, they both look back and remember the events of Sangravah. She looked at him and she remembers her trauma. It’s so sad. I can’t even try to ship them together with that information.

Then, the fact that Gwyn has spent her whole life in a temple and then a library. She’s never known anything else, she hasn’t had a love story yet, she hasn’t experienced anything, and people want to pair her with someone right away. She’s only bonded with two men so far, Cassian and Azriel. Let her explore the world and discover what she wants before rushing her into a relationship. She doesn’t even feel comfortable leaving the library yet!

Also, the fact that Cassian and Nesta describe her as “just a girl.” It’s so awkward to think that after that, Azriel might do things with Gwyn, especially knowing that Sarah described him as a “freak in bed.”

And the fact that she has to ask Clotho for permission to have a slumber party. She has to ask someone’s permission to sleep over at her FRIEND’S house.

How can people think she’s ready to be in a relationship and handle everything that comes with it?

It gives me the ick.

Anon, many share these same thoughts.

Regardless of ships preferences, this one just doesn't seem very attractive. When people say would you ever read a GA book or what if SJM goes the GA way then what, I have to be honest, it doesn't excite me in any capacity.

It's like this: if this was a dark romance, and the dynamic was dark, with him grooming her, and there was an obsessive, dominating aspect to the relationship--the fire. Gwynriel could work, because that's what those books are about.

But Gwyn is not a DR character, and SJM is a little too into consent to ever write DR.

In the world of ACOTAR, Gwynriel doesn't work.

[lunerna21]

I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO THE UPDATE FOR BOOK 7 AND I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED WITH HOW MUCH I ENJOYED IT

***SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 JPN SERVER AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!***

***ALSO SLIGHTLY LONG POST AHEAD! MY APOLOGIES!***

UM CAN I MENTION HOW HARD I LAUGHED WHEN SILVER WAS TELLING THE STORY ABOUT FLOYD GRABBING RIDDLE'S HAIR TO SEE IF IT WAS HOT?!

AND JADE HYSTERICALLY LAUGHING WHILE AZUL IGNORES THEM!!!!

If they ever animate that scene, I'm gonna hurl from seeing Floyd just being catapulted off screen and Jade enjoying himself 😂

Floyd being so bored of his dream and just him swaying like the seaweed was freakin hysterical 😂

It just reminded me of this for some reason:

I mean it makes sense since Floyd is always up for a challenge and isn't afraid of basically anything, so of course Malleus's vision for Floyd's dream wasn't going to be very exciting

ALSO WE CAN TALK ABOUT FLOYD HAD THE BALLS TO FIGHT MALLEUS, LEONA AND EVEN FUCKING CATER?! CATER WIPED THE FLOOR FIGHTING FLOYD BUT I WASN'T EXPECTING CATER TO KICK ASS

HELL YES CATER!!

.......And then we jump into Jade's dream...

....The moment I saw how Jade imagined both Azul and Floyd...

AND THEN SOMEONE POSTED THIS ON TWITTER AND I ABSOLUTELY LOST IT

JADE BY FAR IS THE MOST HYSTERICAL CHARACTER IN TWST AND I CAN'T BELIEVE FLOYD HAD TO SEE HIS DOOFY LOOKING FACE LIKE THAT

I don't blame Floyd for duking it out with Jade I would feel the same if thats how my siblings imagined me lol

And finally, Azul's dream!!

First of all, AZUL WAS SOMETHING ELSE DURING HIS DREAMS

Azul being a coral rush player?! AND KINDA BEING JOCKY?! I wasn’t prepared for that! 😂

(special shoutout to Idia for throwing shade at his first image of a cocky player, that was 👌🏻)

JADE JUST GRABBING POOR IDIA'S TABLET AND GETTING AZUL'S SIGNATURE ON IT 😂👏🏻👏🏻

AND IDIA JUST SLOWING MOVING OFF TO THE SIDE THIS POOR GUY HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH 😂

When the mermaids started harassing everyone and knocked us over, I WASNT READY FOR AZUL TO CARE WHEN WE GOT HIT

I WAS A FREAKING MESS IM SO DELUSIONAL AND I KNOW HE'S NOT ALWAYS NICE BUT AHHHHHHHH HE WAS SO CUTE HERE (Ignore me I'm delusional and I've missed Azul so much 🥺❤️)

It was so bizarre to see Azul playing a jocky player and being popular in school, but once Idia explained that any negative moments or lessons Azul had to face (bullying, losing the contracts) were no longer a thought because of it only being a dream with no negative emotions

It’s still mind boggling how detailed everyone’s dreams are but terrifying like damn Malleus has so much power and yet he can juggle so many of them

After Azul invited us to the party and was INCREDIBLY NICE for someone like him, and Idia got suss:

I knew something was up, especially after he made everyone wear the anenomes for the party AND GRIM SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER HE WENT THROUGH THIS BEFORE WHY DID HE BELIEVE THIS

Floyd and Jade bouncing off Azul being a bully was soooo worth it

It's kinda scary how I preferred the old Azul, considering he wasn't a cocky jock straight from a manga/book ICK ICK ICK

AND THEN AFTER AZUL FELL INTO THE BLOT, HE WAS A PAIN IN THE BUTT TO CORNER I WAS SO IMPRESSED WITH THE PLANNING AND HOW WE HELPED DESTROY THE CONTRACTS ONCE AGAIN

But this devastated me 😭

It still must've felt pretty shitty having to go through that again, but I started to cry I'm just so happy Azul woke up from his dream 😭❤️❤️❤️

Azul's battle with himself! *chefs kiss* I love how they reference it similar to the battle from The Little Mermaid and how Azul's blot form began to grow

But let me tell you something:

I WOULD DIE IF I COULD FRAME THIS!! JUST SEEING THE GLOWING EYE AND AZUL DOING THIS POSE! PERFECTION!!!

ITS SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK AZUL!!!❤️

This chapter was such a fun trip, and I'm so glad we're slowly getting closer to releasing everyone from their dreams

BUT ONE LAST THING! TWST INTENTIONALLY DID THIS TO HURT MY FEELINGS!

HOOOOOWWWWW DARE TWST FOR SHOVING THIS IN MY FACE I WANT MY BEST FRIENDS BACK SO BADLY AND THE FACT THAT THEY DO THIS CONSTANTLY AND ALSO GRIM BRINGING THEM UP IS JUST AWFUL

I MISS THEM SO MUCH I NEED TO SEE THEM AGAIN

NEXT UP, SAVANACLAW!! (RUGGIE I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH!!)

Enjoy the weekend~~!!!❤️

(Screenshots from https://youtube.com/@gasmask01?si=lpin67yaOvHDdg_c )