#also if you dont like my fic dont fucking read it you asshole

[edwinspaynes]

I don't know what I even fucking posted to warrant this, but fine.

[trashbaby1996]

I'm finishing up the next chapter of one of my fics and I'm so happy that it's almost done. But I can't help but think of last year when I got god awful comments from one nasty person. Like, I was a teacher for a bit and I can tell you that it was far from constructive criticism/feedback. And I know you just have to shake it off but it was so unkind and kinda fucked me up a bit. I'm better about it now, I'm still updating my fics (I refuse to abandon any of them) but part of me also doesn't know how to write like I did. I'm having to try and learn how to write again, which feels silly to say but it's true. I don't know how I wrote like I did before. I dunno... this is just me rambling but I know I'll get there. I'm lucky that I have friends who like my work and help me edit it, plus a lot of nice people who bookmarked and commented on my main fics about how much they are excited to read more. That shit keeps me going, you know? Just gotta remember that I am writing for myself and no one else.

[youaremysunshine-court]

I'm still so fucking angry and it's been like an hour.

[burntb4bydoll]

I need so bad some Tokio Hotel member with a shy reader frrr, like she being shy and they being sweet, that's some hot shit.

Im actually pretty shy myself irl🤞dont be in my comments calling this cringe either, i think its so annoying when people shit on other people for wanting shy reader fics. it literally makes no sense to me because if you dont like it then dont read it🥰

Tokio Hotel with a shy s/o headcanons (slightly NSFW)

Bill kaulitz

•he can be a little shy himself, but for the most part hes pretty extroverted

•definitely makes sure that the attention is on him instead of you. He’ll make a fool out of himself if he needs to

•thinks its so damn cute when you get all shy and flustered when he compliments you. The shy smile on your face is his favorite thing in the world

•he will totally tease you about it too. The way you hide your face in his shirt makes him smirk so hard

• “aww its okay, sweetheart. No need to get all shy.” And he says that in the most teasing voice ever while stroking your hair

•loves when you can barely look him in the eyes, he thinks the way you get so nervous just because hes looking at you is very endearing

•makes you look into his eyes while he gives you head😇 if you look away, he slaps your thigh lightly and raises his eyebrow at you until you can hold eye contact with him

Tom Kaulitz

•omg hes such a little tease about it

•he always brings up when you get flustered or embarrassed

• “whats wrong, baby? You getting all shy on me?” LIKE STFU YES I AM

•hes a big attention grabber when you go out in public due to being famous and also being a attractive guy with good fashion sense, but he tries to distract you so that you dont get uncomfortable

•points out random things and just talks about random things to make you stop thinking about all the eyes on you

•will fight anyone who makes you feel bad about being shy. It’s completely normal and okay to be shy and he won’t let anyone tell you otherwise

•you get so embarrassed cuz you get all teary and needy when he fucks you. So he makes sure you know how good you’re doing 🤭

“It’s alright, you’re doing such a good job for me baby. My pretty little slut, hm?”

Georg Listing

•lord he is THRIVING

•strong believer that he would love a shy s/o

•he finds your bashfulness extremely refreshing and adorable. I think overly confident people would kinda annoy him so he likes that you’re humble and keep to yourself

•loves to give you random compliments just to see your eyes go wide and your hands come up to cover your face

•he pulls your hands away and tilts his head at you, trying to get you to look at him

“What’s wrong, babydoll? All I did was call you pretty. It that too much for you?”

• if you get too nervous to talk to workers or order your own food, he 100% does it for you

•he will make you use your words if you want something, because he knows how embarrassed you get and he thinks its so hot.

“Come on, you know you gotta use your words if you want something. Just tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.” So you gotta tell him when you want him to fuck you or else he’ll pretend like he doesn’t know what you want cuz hes an asshole🙄

Gustav Schäfer

•tbh he doesn’t really know how to help you at the beginning of your relationship

•he sees you getting embarrassed and just awkwardly rubs your back😭 HES CONFUSED LEAVE HIM ALONE

•but once he gets more comfortable, he knows what to do to help you feel better

•likes when you hide in his side or hide your face in his arm, it makes him feel important😇

•doesn’t even ask if you want him to order your food for you, he does it on his own. He’ll ask you what you want before its time to order so that he doesn’t have to ask you mid order

•HATES when people laugh at you for being shy. A lot of jealous fans like to make fun of you but he always makes sure to tell them off. No one talks bad about his s/o, he doesn’t care if they’re “fans” or not.

•he’ll always make sure you’re comfortable during sex, he would hate if you felt like you couldn’t tell him what you do and dont want

“Is this okay? I know you get shy, but I need to know what you want, honey. You want my fingers? Thank you for telling me, such a good girl/boy/baby.”

[quietwingsinthesky]

Can you delete your bad fics or private them? I kudosed one and sent it to a discord but then i went to your orofile and found you ship incest in other fic. I dont want my friends to know that I read proship. Youre a really good writer. so you should delete it anyway more people will like you

okay okay holy fucking shit this is. one of the most anon asks of all time. let's break this down.

(1) "Can you delete your bad fics" <- this is like all that i could see on my phone notif which. you can imagine how wild that was to glance over and see out of nowhere. and then it just does not get more normal. "or private them" ????????

(2) "I kudosed one and sent it to a discord" so okay the existence of my other work or that i wrote them in the first place does not actually disturb you so much that you want to stop consuming the work that you do like. you just don't want there to be evidence that you liked my tainted work. how is this my problem.

(3) "but then i went to your orofile and found you ship incest in other fic." look on the one hand. yeah? we do incest here. i'm not going to apologize for my work. but also like that honestly isn't the most extreme stuff i write, why is it always the incest people focus on. i wrote about a guy getting eggs laid in him by a hellhound once. no one ever comes to me accusing me of being morally despicable for the hellhound egg fic, and it makes me feel very unloved. sorry, distracted. where were we.

(4) "I dont want my friends to know that I read proship." Do you know what's extremely abnormal, both on your end and of your friends'? For you to feel the need to do like. a fucking background check on me. before you even read completely unrelated fic??????? Look, I'm being a bit of an asshole to you here, I understand that, but you must see how unreasonable your message is (assuming you did not send it with malicious intent in the first place, we'll get to that.) But. Genuinely. Anon, this is not normal for you to expect of yourself or for your friends to expect you to do. This is extremely concerning control behavior. You are in a cult. If you're afraid of your friends turning on you because of something you didn't even read, just came into contact with accidentally by association, they are not your friends and you are in a very bad situation. Get the fuck out of there.

(5) "Youre a really good writer. so you should delete it anyway more people will like you" However, having said that, lol. lmao. The last bit where you go oh but you *are* good, you just need to do what *I* want to earn more attention makes me extremely fucking suspicious that you came here with ill intent from the start. If I was not, well, me. If I was, say, someone with a lot more need for that attention or praise, or someone who was more insecure in my writing, this would be a good fucking trap to lay, wouldn't it. And don't think I missed how you positioned your earlier situation as something that would be my fault if I didn't take my fics down, as if you or your friends' actions are my responsibility. Take your suggestion and shove it up your ass. I hope no one you've preyed on with that ever listened to you.

[speakofthedebbie]

you (read: i) asked so you shall recieve: radioapple fic recs august 2024 update!!

the following are the ones from the last post w/some minor changes (think: misspellings and even more osas praising) (sorry for the re-tags!!):

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 4 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic. has the same vibe as bedtime rituals, but it is NOT a sequel

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

if youre even half the radioapple fanatic i am and havent read this, literally what are you doing?? i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, with some daily compliments sprinkled along the way, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i foam at the mouth every friday

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. lilith is particularly an asshole even tho we havent seen her yet (or maybe we have. idr, mightve chatted with al) also emily is there (fallen) and has a lil smth to do with als and liliths deal. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6-7 (rosies words) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s(30s?) au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and mimzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent off for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

new recs below!! ↓↓

Alastor and Lucifer do whatever the Hell this is (series) by Vagabond_Sloth (personally asked, no Tumblr, but they might make one 👀)

i know this is radioapple fic rec post but... *cough* Husk and Angel do a Romance for some soft huskerdust *cough* anyway- basically, a perplexing flower arrangement leads to a blossoming something between the resident radio demon and king of hell. seriously, its some good shit, and the author is really nice!

A Compliment A Day by @decembercamiecherries

spinning this around in my head at all times

basically, a classic "charlie makes al and luci compliment each other as a bonding excessive" but it does not disappoint (check out her other three radioapple fics too)

a lovely night (lalaland is that you??) and pancakes, small talk by @mirotic_chess (X Twitter account)

in a lovely night they do a lil dancey dancey and in pancakes, small talk luci makes some pancakes!!

Sin and Sentiment and Time On My Hands by demon_fawn (supposed Tumblr leads to a dead end)

oh my god future debs here and i am so fucking tired of doing these descriptions but. um. the plot for sin and sentiment def seems very interesting and time on my hands is an incomplete (but good!) attempt at radioapple week. hmm not sure if they still post bc the most recent update was july 12th

honestly just every radioapple fic by @otoshigo (i think ive read all but Forbidden Fruit of the Poisonous Tree)

if you look underneath the little island that is radioapple, on god otoshigo is one of the creators holding it up. all 19 (yes, 19. we eatin good tonight [excluding forbidden fruit]) of their radioapple fics are fantastic, buuut if i had to recommend anything specific: A Guide to the Care and Maintenance of the King of Hell (fuck count furfur!) and The Devil's Trip to the Big Apple

not to continue the trend, but basically anything by @thief-of-eggs (even the singular huskerdust) but personal recommendations: Trust and Hair Pets and Let Me Be Your Shelter (sickfics 🔛🔝)

idk if youll catch me doing the descriptions for these anymore shit was exhausting

tagging time!!!! (i want to end it all)

[dollhouse-lied]

Tear you apart: a creepypasta fic

Ticci toby x jeff the killer

MASSIVE FUCKING WARNING: this fic is of NONCON, AKA RAPE. If you dont wanna read that, dont! And dont come crying into my inbox either! I dont wanna hear it!!!!

Uhhh warnings besides that one is nondescriptive gore, overstim, general violence, oh yeah theres a corpse, DD-DNE

1.6k words, i wrote this cause i hate my job, enjoy~

The door slammed, the two men covered in blood and dragging a corpse.

“You got me fucking stabbed dipshit, of course im telling slender!” Toby screamed, gripping his side to try and stop the blood. Despite not being able to feel pain, he could definitely feel bloodloss.

“Oh of course, slenders little pet can't handle it, he has to run to his daddy doesn't he?” Jeff mocked, dropping the corpse and stomping its head as hard as he could, spraying brain matter all over the basement floor.

Toby grew enraged, eyes darkening. “What the fuck?? We have to clean that you asshole!” His breathing hitched, clearly feeling weary from the blood loss. He pulled off his hoodie, the bloodsoaked tshirt underneath clinging to his skin. “Your lucky i like you, or i would beat your ass,”

Jeff snickered, pulling his knife from its sheath. “Oh you like me, do you?” He cooed. He walked over to Toby, stopping inches from his face. “You like me baby?” He mocked, face twitching with rage.

Suddenly, Toby hooked his fist into Jeffs face, catching the killer off guard. He stumbled a bit before finding his footing, punching Toby in the jaw with a grating sound.

Toby didn't react, simply cracking his neck as Jeff watched him. “Ok, we are gonna do this,” he growled, reaching for his hatchet that was leaning on the wall.

“Oh yeah? You want to go there? Im not afraid of you rogers, you know im more valuable than you ever will be, stop lying to yourself. The best thing you can do is apologize and we can move on, or we can do this my way. Got it, mutt?” Jeff sneered, eye twitching.

“I.. am not.. a.. MUTT,” Toby screamed, spit flying from his cheek gash as he charged at Jeff, kicking him in the gut. Jeff gasped before quickly securing the handle of Tobys hatchet before it hit him in the top of the skull. He knew he had the upper hand, he was bigger and stronger than Toby, and Toby seemed to also realize.

“So we are doing this my way huh rogers?” Jeff giggled, ripping the hatchet from his hand and throwing it to the back of the dissection room, hitting the table as it went with a clang.

“You.. bitch…” Toby spat, struggling against the grip Jeff still had on his wrists.

“Mhm, what is it baby?” Jeff mocked, quickly pulling Tobys arms to behind his back, dislocating them with a pop. He turned Toby around and forced him on the table. “You made yourself a pretty little mess huh?”

Toby fought against his grip, but his shoulder muscles were weak, torn and completely useless to fight him. The panic was starting to set in.

“Let me go!” He shouted, freezing as he felt his jeans slide down, his boxers covered in blood on the side of the wound. He flailed against Jeffs grip, trying anything to get loose.

There was suddenly a soft sound of a zipper, making Tobys blood run cold. He lifted his head up, only for it to be slammed into the cold metal slab so hard it made his head spin.

“Jeff, please, please god dont do this, let me go, this isnt funny-”

“Shut it. You did this to yourself.” Jeff coldly barked, pulling Tobys head up by the hair and holding his knife to his throat. “What should i do with you first, hm?” He giggled, making a light cut on Tobys neck as Toby gasped.

“Please, let me go, please,” Toby begged, genuine fear rising in his voice, trembling.

Jeff lifted Tobys shirt, exposing the stab wound. He looked at it, admiring it before sticking his fingers inside and laughing at Tobys shudder. Sure he couldn't feel pain but it wasn't exactly comfortable. Toby was gasping, trying to pull away from his fingers entering his abdominal muscles. Jeff removed the knife from Tobys throat for a moment before slamming his head back into the table. Toby made a gurgling noise, blood pouring out his nose.

“Please…” he whispered, feeling even more lightheaded than before. Jeff laughed.

“Your so fucking cute aren't you?” He mocked, pulling a dazed Toby up by his hair. “You wanna feel my dick in there?” He whispered, reveling in the fear in the males eyes.

Toby weakly shook his head no, and Jeff removed his fingers as Toby gasped.

“Ill save that for later, i want to do something else first,” Jeff muttered, slowly sliding down Tobys boxers with his blood soaked hand. He slapped Tobys ass, leaving a bloody handprint on it as Toby moaned. Jeff laughed. “Your such a fucking whore, you cant even control yourself can you?”

“Fuck… you…” he groaned, struggling to focus his eyes and panting as blood dripped down his face.

“Ill fuck you baby, i will, cause your such a fucking whore, right?”

Toby hesitated, and Jeff noticed. He started to slam his head into the table, stopping centimeters from the cold metal.

“Now listen to me mutt, we are gonna do this my way. Your gonna repeat what i tell you to, and your gonna love it aren't you?” He hissed, watching Tobys tears hit the metal table.

“Yes,” Toby weakly whispered, his head getting yanked back up with a crack of his spine.

Jeff leaned into his ear “Yes what?” He murmured into his neck.

Tobys face grew warm with embarrassment. “Yes sir..” he shakily cried, sighing with relief when the grip on his hair loosened.

“Good girl, your a good girl, right?” Jeff sneered, putting the knife back to his throat.

Toby sobbed loudly, feeling the knife's pressure on his neck increase. “Im a good girl,” he murmured, hearing the clothing shifting off of Jeffs body. He felt the wet head of Jeffs dick touch his exposed hole and made a noise of defeat, somewhere between a moan and a sob.

“Yeah, yeah you are Toby, your my good little bitch, my good little whore, and your gonna take this like a good princess, aren't you?” He mocked, shifting the grip on Tobys wrists to spit on his hand and rub it on himself.

Toby let his head drop to the cold metal table, completely defeated as his vision blurred. “Yes sir,” he muttered, the blood flow from his nose starting to slow.

Jeff snickered, quickly inserting himself and grabbing Tobys boney hips. Toby moaned, the sound of the table sliding vibrating in his ears.

“Louder baby, i wanna hear you be a good whore for me,” Jeff growled, watching as Tobys dick twitched and dripped, laughing.

Tobys face was bright red, drooling and crying on the table. He moaned loudly and uncontrollably, hating himself for feeling so turned on. He wasnt proud that he was getting worked up, he hated how fucking good it felt.

Jeff sped as fast as he could, snaking his hands up to Tobys wound, sticking his fingers in and out, tearing the flesh with the force. Toby made a soft whine, his head spinning.

“Stop… pl- please..” he whined, the corners of his vision going black as he faded to the edge of consciousness. Jeff watched in glee as he rolled his head back.

“You want me to stop baby?” He snickered, removing his blood soaked hand from Tobys side. Toby weakly nodded, moans still escaping his mouth despite his attempts to hold them back.

“Pl… please..” he cried, internally praying that he would black out to stop the humiliation.

His body shook as Jeff continued. Jeff noticed this, and he giggled shrilly. “Aww, is my good girl about to cum?” He waited for a moment, but got no response. He yanked Tobys head back by the hair, bloody snot connecting to his head from the table.

Toby made a slight gasping noise as Jeffs thrusts got more and more violent. “Cmon, you want this to stop dont you?” He growled into Tobys ear, groaning from holding back his cum. Toby nodded quickly. “Then say it,”

Toby sobbed loudly, quickly responding “im gonna cum Jeff, just fucking stop,”

Satisfied, Jeff released Tobys head as his breath shook. With a loud sigh, Jeff released into Toby. He quickly moved his still blood soaked hand to Tobys dick, pumping quickly as Toby came. Jeff didnt stop, going even faster as Toby screamed in pain.

“Fuck, knock it- fuck- stop- fuck,” Toby stammered, face red as he sobbed into the table.

“Mhm? You want me to stop?” Jeff huffed, still riding out his orgasm, head spinning from the power trip he was on.

“Yes, yes just fucking stop- aah-” Toby fought against Jeffs grip, getting nowhere.

“How bad do you want it sweetie?” Jeff said in a mocking tone, reveling in Tobys desperation.

Toby couldnt do anything but scream, desperately hoping that someone, ANYONE, would walk in and save him, knowing deep down that this wouldnt happen. No one gave a shit about him, not more than they did Jeff anyway. His muffled screams were pointless, no one was coming to save him.

Jeff removed his hands from Toby, seemingly bored with torturing him. He wiped his hands on Tobys shirt, making a disgusted noise at what came off. Toby gasped for air like a fish out of water, melting to the floor.

“And your not gonna tell anyone about this, are you?” Jeff glared down at him. Toby shook his head no while clutching his wound, seconds from blacking out. “Good. Ill get EJ to fix you up. Put your pants back on you sissy, you still gotta clean this mess up.” Jeff spat, kicking the corpse again as Toby pulled his pants up with the last of his strength before collapsing onto the floor.

--------

Side note i really hate my job not cause its hard but cause im not caught up on lolcow video essays and im only half joking when i say that

[juyeonszn]

PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER (PT. 2)

PAIRING kevin moon x f!reader

WORD COUNT 5.60k

GENRES angst ﹒little bit of fluff ﹒little bit of smut

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, reader is better than me cause i would not let kevin do all the shit he’s done 😭, ANYWAY i digress, this part is very reader-centric — whereas part one is very kevin-centric, inner turmoil goes absolutely crazy, most of this fic is reader putting kevin in his place and him realizing how big of an asshole he truly is, mentions of injury (past tense), mentions of insecurity, lots of arguing, reader cries at one point or another, the smut places a very minimal role in this, but unprotected sex, public sex (the auditorium dressing room), no foreplay but wtv we fall like soldiers in battle, pussy job lowkey (high key…), creampie, lmk if i missed anything!

SUMMARY it wasn’t like you and kevin hated each other. in fact, you quite admired him despite his somewhat indifferent attitude toward you. well, now that you’re paired up for the last dance of the year, you guess it’s the perfect time to find out why.

MORE oh my god. it’s finally fucking here. A MONTH, 2 SICKNESSES AND MANY MANY STRESSFUL NIGHTS LATER— part two of princess and the pauper is here!!! i’m so sorry to those of u who have been itching and waiting on me to get ‘er done,,, it’s been an ordeal to say the least, and while it’s nearing the two month mark since the black out or back out collab was announced, SHE FINALLY FINISHED!!! for once i saw something through omg i can sleep peacefully and work on my other wips without guilt now… 😭 ALSO THANK U SO MUCH MAYA @/kimsohn FOR PUSHING ME THROUGH THIS and for making me thug it out bc without u it definitely would’ve taken much longer to finish 💔 please dont forget to read part one and the other fics in the series if u haven’t!! both are linked below! and as always, pls reblog if u enjoyed &lt;3

PART ONE | SERIES MASTERLIST

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel @ericlvr @sunwooverse @kimsohn

TAGLIST @millksea @deobibbang @deobi0412

Never in your life have you felt so… Confused.

It wasn’t just confusion that settled deep in the pit of your stomach. There was a sharp pain there too, like someone stabbed you and twisted the knife. That was probably the best way to describe what you were feeling. You were bleeding out, and no one was coming to save you.

Kevin wasn’t answering your calls. He wasn’t answering your texts. He ran out of the lecture hall as soon as class was over, never giving you a moment to speak to him. It was making you nervous.

You still had half of a dance to choreograph and a fuck ton of pressure riding on your back. After the last performance you and him did together, you’d have a lot of eyes on you. It most definitely wasn’t your fault that he dropped you. How many people willingly want to acquire a broken ankle? The crutches were a bitch to maneuver around with. But like every single thing that’s happened in the three years you’ve known Kevin Moon, he’s managed to place the blame on you like it was.

It was crucial that you make amends with him even if it was momentarily. Your final grades were dependent on your performance. If he couldn’t get his shit together for at least that, he was a lost cause in your mind. Not even your professor would be able to refute that fact. Actually, nobody would be able to refute that fact.

Your lips form an O as you blow the steam away from your coffee, pulling out your phone to try Kevin’s phone once again. The line rings a few times before going straight to voicemail like it has the past couple weeks. You kiss your teeth, tying your sweater around your waist as you slump in your chair. The baristas at the campus cafe were probably sick of seeing you sitting in the same high-top counter spot since the incident with Kevin in the studio.

“Y/N?”

Ji Changmin appears beside you and you click your phone off, so he wouldn’t see his friend’s contact on the screen. You give the Early Childhood Dev major a weak smile.

“Changmin! What’s up? How are you and your girlfriend?” You hope he can’t recognize the distress written all over your features. You highly doubt it, though. You can feel the wrinkles pulling at your skin.

“We’re good! How’s the showcase performance going with Kev?” He asks like he knows something you don’t. When your lips fall to a thin line, an all too familiar grimace, he sighs a knowing sigh. “Do I have to smack some sense into him?”

“Not gonna lie, yeah, you do. He’s being really fucking difficult and like half of our dance is unfinished. I can’t even get a hold of him, so I’m starting to lose my patience.” You express your annoyance. The border between complacency and free-will was a lot slimmer than one might think. For example; your feelings when it comes to Kevin Moon.

You don’t expect to get a returning call later that night when you’re washing dishes after dinner.

In fact, you don’t even hear it at first, too absorbed in scrubbing the staining out of your bowl. It’s when your roommate yells out to you, that you snap out of your reverie, albeit dazedly. You dry your hands on a nearby tea towel, hitting the green answer button without a second glance at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Are you free tomorrow?”

Your heart catches in your throat. You recognize the owner of the voice practically by the first breath into the receiver alone. It’s actually kind of unhealthy how quickly it took to realize who was on the other end. You swallow heavily, praying he doesn’t hear the gulp.

“In the latter part of the afternoon, I believe. Why?” You try not to sound hopeful. That’s one thing you’ve learned being in the same vicinity as Kevin Moon. You could never be too expecting, because it would only lead to disappointment. And you’d dealt with enough of that the past few years.

“We need to finish this fuck ass choreography,” he grunts, and it takes everything in you to bite your tongue. “I’ll meet you in the same studio at 4.”

He doesn’t let you get anything else in, hanging up swiftly. You deflate as you set your phone back on the counter. All you had to do was push through these next couple weeks, like you always have when it came to him.

That should be a piece of cake, right?

Wrong.

“No, that looks stupid.”

You grit your teeth, swiping the back of your hand on your forehead. You’d been inside of this studio maybe 30 minutes tops, and you were on the verge of strangling Kevin. With as long as you’d been putting up with his shit, you thought getting through this wouldn’t be as rough as it’s been. But if there was one thing Kevin Moon had, it was pride.

“We don’t have time for you to nitpick right now. Let’s just finish the choreography and clean it after.” Your hands rest on your hips, nostrils flaring.

“If we clean as we go, we’ll have more time to drill it into our systems and get down muscle memory. It’ll be a stronger performance.” He argues. You roll your eyes as you turn away from him, taking a water break to calm yourself. “Why do you have so much fucking attitude today? You were the one preaching to the choir about me making things difficult. It seems the tables have turned.”

Usually, you were pretty good at keeping your frustration at bay when it came to Kevin’s remarks. You liked to think it was because you were down bad for the guy, despite him always wanting nothing to do with you. But as of late, (Read: Since your performance of Princess and the Pauper) every little comment he’s made has managed to crawl under your skin like a damn parasite. You were beginning to get real sick of it.

“God, you’re so—“ You interrupt yourself to groan, fingers curling into fists. “You’re fucking insufferable. Do you know that? I’ve been bending over backwards to ensure we aren’t kicked out of the goddamn program and you don’t even fucking care. Over what? A kiss that you initiated?”

Kevin is stunned into silence, not at all prepared for you to blow up on him like that. After all, that razor thin line between complacency and free-will had yet to be crossed. And well, it appears that you just crossed it. You whip around toward him, pulling down the collar of your t-shirt to reveal the faintest of bruises that still remains from your impromptu act of intimacy.

“I’ve had to look at this every day for a week and all it’s done is make me feel shitty, ashamed of something I didn’t even start. Now I need you to stop acting like an ass and get it together so we can finish this and perform the best dance this university has ever seen.” Your chest is heaving up and down, similarly to when you made out against the mirrors last week. Except this time isn’t out of breathlessness, but rather anger and exhaustion.

Kevin’s eyes don’t leave the hickey on the base of your throat, something undetectable swimming in them as he stares. You can’t read the emotions swirling rampantly in his irises, a mixture of too many blurring into one another. Honestly, it’s funny. It’s funny that it’s taken you this long to get him to shut his mouth for once.

So you laugh.

It’s a snort at first, an off handed projection of how comical the situation has become to you. But then it metamorphoses into a small giggle, which leads to full scale laughter that has you hunching over your knees and wiping away tears. This whole thing is stupid. Absolutely fucking stupid.

“What are you laughing at?” His eyebrow raises in question, broken from his weird trance.

“I just can’t believe it took three years for me to shut you up,” you shake your head slowly, rubbing your eye with the heel of your palm. “You’re always the one who can’t stop talking.”

Kevin deadpans, mouth pulled pin-straight as his expression drops. “You’re so unserious.”

As the height of your laughter reaches a valley, you collapse onto the ground, resting your back against the mirror. You take another long sip of water before sighing. “Look, I know this isn’t ideal. Trust me, I know. But, we’ve gotta set aside our differences just this once. Please, for the sake of the department.”

“Fine,” he murmurs, plopping down beside you to stretch his back. “Let’s finish choreographing so we can start cleaning it up.”

It’s a victory in your book, and probably the most obedient the Pisces has ever been. Maybe this wouldn’t end in complete disaster like you assumed it would. It turns out Kevin Moon wasn’t entirely brainless and knew when he was wrong. Sometimes. Maybe. We’ll see.

You shut your eyes and visualize what you’ve choreographed so far, going over the moves in your head to see if the rest will come to you like a prophecy. It’s wishful thinking, but with how much you’ve accomplished since setting foot in the studio, you’re willing to try anything. The track would be nice for elements of hip hop style choreography, but you knew the audience wouldn’t eat it up as much as they would the route you’re currently taking.

Driver roll up the partition, please…

The song plays through the speakers and you watch as Kevin stands to run through everything you have. You’re entranced by his movements, the flow of his body on certain points. It’ll look ten times better once you’re doing it with him, costumed and performing it perfectly in front of a crowd. You can picture it now, the gentle but controlled glide of his hands along your arms when Beyoncé sings “We ain’t even gonna make it to this club”. He was right. You very well might be seduced by your enemy.

“Should we use props?” You suddenly voice, eyes narrowed in thought. He hums.

“That’s… not a half-bad idea, actually,” his tongue darts out to wet his lips. “What did you have in mind?”

“A chair, maybe,” you look away from him, placing your focus on the way your toes alternate between a tendu and relaxed position. “That could take up a good chunk of the choreo.”

Kevin stalks over to the supply closet in the corner of the studio, pulling out a folding chair. He puts it in the center of the room gently, careful to not scratch up the wooden, lacquered flooring. You spend the next couple of hours brainstorming through numerous versions of the dance. While it was a lot easier than your past practices, there were still the occasional argument over which movements looked good and whatnot.

At a certain point, everything becomes cohesive and the end is near. You gulp down some water as Kevin does some random choreography. It’s then that it comes to you, like a vision from That’s So Raven. You practically drop your water bottle, scrambling to your feet and stopping him. Your breath is heavy from fatigue and you’re slightly afraid of even suggesting this, but it’s exactly what this dance needs. It’s exactly what everyone wants to see from the two of you.

He pauses the music and gestures for you to get on with it. You push down the lump in your throat, scared of rejection. But maybe he was smart and he would agree that this is what you have to do. “What if we did a lift?”

You see the hesitation swirling in his eyes and you raise a finger before he can shut you down entirely. “Nothing crazy like… um— you know— Princess and the Pauper, but something smaller. Something… sexy? Like, Dancing with the Stars type beat.”

When he shrugs instead of outright dismissing your idea, you know you’ve won. He nods slowly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “Okay, sure. But we better clean up everything else fast so we can perfect the lift.”

The two of you take another three hours running the entirety of the choreography, ingraining the moves into your brains and muscles. You still had a bit until the actual showcase, but your priority now lies with the lift. If you nailed it, the entire department would very well grovel after you in reparation for all of the slack you got after Kevin dropped you. Hell, the entire university would kiss your feet. This was your redemption. In more ways than one.

You both decide to call it a day at around 9:30 PM. Your hands reach for your belongings and then you halt yourself, a thought coming to mind. While you had him in this weird state of obedience, you figured it was as good a time as any to ask the question that’s been weighing on you for the past few years. Your fingers swipe away the sweat beading around your hairline.

��Kevin,” you start, voice a lot softer than before. “Why do you— what did I do to make you dislike me so much?”

He’s caught completely off guard, eyes widening in surprise. If he was anticipating you to say anything else prior to parting ways tonight, he didn’t think this would be it. He’s actually a little off put that you hadn’t asked him this already in the span of your definitely-one-sided rivalry. He takes a large gulp of water.

”I’d call it indifference, not dislike,” he corrects after a pregnant silence. “It’s really fucking stupid thinking about it in hindsight. I don’t know if you remember this time, way back in our first year, we ran into each other at the campus cafe— literally, might I add— and you spilled your coffee all over this white shirt of mine that Changmin had gotten for me as a birthday gift. I only recently found out that it wasn’t as expensive as he made it out to be.”

You blink at his admission, processing his words as thoroughly as possible. You don’t know what you wanted him to say. You weren’t even sure if there was a concrete reason for him to be so fucking mean to you all this time. And now that you know, you come to the conclusion that Kevin Moon isn’t as smart as you’ve painted him out to be in your head. He’s actually a gigantic idiot. Because who in their right mind goes through these lengths to form a distance between the only other person on par with their talent?

Before you can stop yourself, you’re bursting into another fit of laughter. Kevin falters at your reaction. He was waiting for you to blow up on him, to scream in his face for causing you so much pain and unnecessary drama over something so silly. So when you do none of that, when you start fucking laughing like a damn hyena, he feels dumb. Like his entire college career has been built off of nothing.

”This is so—“ you pause to gather your bearings, wiping away the tears that managed to escape. “We’ve spent so much time going back and forth over some spilled coffee? Surely you’ve realized how insane that is at some point.”

”It took a lengthy argument with Changmin, but yeah, I did,” he nods, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

You worry your lower lip between your teeth, finally getting your things together. The two of you bid each other an awkward goodbye. Neither of you knew what to make of your relationship now that things had been partially sorted through. There was a fuck ton of baggage that still had to be sifted, but at least you had an answer.

That was enough to push through this showcase performance. You think.

You’re nervous.

Never in your entire life have you ever been this nervous for a performance.

You grew up doing musical theatre and dancing, it’s always been the one constant presence you could rely on. But standing here, backstage at the showcase, you think you’re going to throw up. Your palms are clamming up uncontrollably and your chest feels unbearably heavy as you watch the quartet doing a contemporary piece to some ballad you couldn’t be bothered to remember the name of. There were still a couple groups before you.

Not even when you had to perform fuckass Princess and the Pauper were you this anxious. You wince, trying to stop the incessant bouncing of your leg. Your weight keeps shifting from one hip to the other. As a seasoned veteran, you don’t know why you feel this way. Maybe it had to do with all the pressure riding on this very dance. Every single eye in that crowd was going to scrutinize your every move on that stage.

“Calm down,” a voice whispers harshly from beside you. “You’re making me nervous.”

Kevin wraps his fingers around your wrist, stopping the annoying tap-tap-tap your own were doing against your thigh. He gives you a look, and you sigh. “Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

That’s a lie. Not only was the high expectations from the entire school getting to you, but so was the fear of history repeating itself. He knows this, it was inevitable. After what happened the last time he was tasked with lifting you, it was only natural.

”We’ve drilled this dance hundreds, if not thousands, of times, Y/N. We’ll do just fine.” Kevin assures you.

His hand feels foreign holding yours, like it was illegal for his skin to be touching your own. You feel your lower lip quiver, a sense of trepidation that you’ve never once felt creeping down your spine. Your mind was spiraling, and quite honestly, Kevin being so close was making it worse. All you could think about was him dropping you again, leaving you in the middle of the stage with a broken leg and a broken heart. You release a shaky breath and he turns to face you.

Your eyes widen and he searches your face for any disingenuity. When he finds his answer, he brings the hand that was holding yours up to cup your cheek. He’s cautious, afraid he might break you like he always does. He waits for you to shove him away and to yell at him for being a fucking coward.

You don’t. You stay still, hoping he follows through with what you think he’s about to do. And then he does.

It’s such a featherlight peck of his lips on your own, you almost don’t even register. But sparks shoot from the source all the way to the tips of your fingers. You feel as if you were dealt a static shock of electricity, your whole body buzzing from the small kiss alone.

He pulls away just in time for the stage manager to inform you that you’re next. Kevin rolls his neck jogging over to the wings to patiently await your performance like he hadn’t just kissed you a moment ago. You blink dumbly, two fingers coming up to touch where his lips had been. Sure the nerves were gone now, but the sensation of butterflies swarming about in your stomach easily replaced that. What the fuck was his problem?

“Our last performance is one I’m sure all of you have been waiting for. Kevin Moon and Y/N L/N with Partition!”

Before you know it, you and Kevin are in position, your body squared upstage and his to the crowd. Your eyes are closed, but you can feel his arm wrapped around your waist and his steady breathing on your nose. The spotlight switches on, the heat of the lighting warm against the side of your face. It’s silent in the auditorium, but it rings in your ears. You could do this.

Let me hear you say ‘Hey Miss Carter’…

You move on reflex, muscle memory kicking in instantaneously. Each circle of your hips, every turn you make— a fouetté here, a pirouette there, a couple coupes, each roll of your body. But what really gets you is the long brushes of Kevin’s skin on your own. You’d practiced with distance between the two of you. There was a tension that had been there for years. Now it’s all coming to a rolling boil, a new uncharted tension that every single member in that audience could see.

And then comes the lift.

You, along with everybody in the auditorium, practically hold your breath when Kevin’s hands grip your hips. He raises you above him with all of his strength, completely focused on you and only you. You shut your eyes and feel the moment, like, really feel it. Your body is relaxed, the Dirty Dancing-esque lift bringing the whole performance together just like you knew it would. The only difference from the movie and real life is the fact that you’re flipped, your backside to Kevin and your chest to the ceiling.

Your eyes flutter open, the spotlight all but blinding you, and you finally feel content. Like everything has fallen into the right place for once in your life. Especially so when Kevin sets you down gently and you finish your dance with the utmost confidence.

The crowd erupts into a roaring chorus of applause, going as far as giving you a standing ovation. Holy shit. You pulled it off. You actually managed to pull it off.

Your face feels like it might split from how big your smile is. You and Kevin bow, walking off stage. You’re entirely too happy right now, a newfound energy overtaking you as you trail behind him.

“We did it!” You cheer as you follow him towards the dressing room where your things are. You’re the only ones left backstage, everyone else filtering out between performances. Kevin doesn’t give you much of a response, just a small nod of acknowledgment. Your smile falters. “What the hell is your problem?”

”Nothing, Y/N, fuck. Can you just mind your own fucking business?” He snaps, turning around to glare at you just as the door slams behind you. You instinctively flinch at both loud noises. His features soften but you take a step back from him.

You aren’t sure why you’re surprised. This isn’t anything new. Kevin has always made it crystal clear that he wasn’t your number one fan. Being neutral for your performance wasn’t enough to repair all the holes in whatever your relationship was, and you should’ve known better. You shouldn’t have let your guard down so easily. You should’ve expected this. Old dogs can never learn new tricks.

But Kevin’s scared. He’s afraid of letting you in after all the mess he’s put you through. The only thing he’s good at doing is hurting you, over and over like there was a prize that came out of it.

”Look…”

”No, you listen to me,” you swallow heavily, tears already tight lining your eyes. “Kevin, I have taken so much shit from you. Over these past few years I have just sat there and let you unload all your fucked up insecurities onto me. Have you ever wondered why? Have you ever thought to stop and think about why I let you be so mean to me without even questioning it?”

He says nothing, just stares with his lips parted. They open and close like a fish out of water, words there at the tip of his tongue but refusing to make their escape. And then one of your tears rolls down your cheeks and he’s directly in front you, his heart on his sleeve for the first time since you’ve met him.

”Why?” The simple question is so quiet, you almost don’t hear him. But his eyes hold so much hurt, so much anguish that you’ve never seen in a person before.

“I’ve had feelings for you for so long, it’s actually starting to ache. You’ve only ever seen me as this thing, this obstacle. And I’m afraid that that’s all I’ll ever be to you, because you won’t let me be anything else. You won’t—“

”That’s not true, Y/N,” Kevin sighs, looking off to the side, away from you. “I just— it’s complicated. It’s more than just being rivals.”

”So help me understand,” you frown. “Let me in, please.”

”My entire life I’ve had to work to get to where I am. I’ve fought tooth and nail to be as good of a performer as I am today. There were so many hoops I had to go through to even get into this program and— and I thought I’d finally become the best I could be. I thought that there was no way anyone could ever be better than me. And then you showed up. You and your pretty smile and your natural ability to be the best at everything you do. It was like you were the real life manifestation of all of my critics, of every challenge I faced to get here. Where I had to practice day and night to perfect something, it just came to you like second nature. During Princess and the Pauper, when I dropped you, it truly was an accident. But we’d spent so much time nailing it, that it— I just made myself feel better by saying it was your fault. ‘How could it have been my fault if I perfected it?’ I was jealous and petty and it was just easier to blame hating— to blame my indifference on you spilling coffee on my stupid shirt. For that, I’m sorry.”

You don’t know what you were waiting to hear, but it wasn’t that. Your tears turn into full on blubbering, because what the fuck? That’s so much burden for someone to carry on their shoulders for three years.

“Why are you— why are you crying?” He flounders, reaching up to swipe away your tears.

“I wish I knew… I wish I could’ve helped you somehow,” you sniffle. “Kev, I’ve always admired you and your work ethic. I hoped one day I’d be half as disciplined as you, half as determined.”

He blinks. You’re both dumb, aren’t you? Too focused on the wrong things. You both could’ve been a lot less hateful, a lot less miserable, had you just spoken your differences out. This entire rivalry has been completely one sided, but also built off of plain stupidity and ignorance. He supposes it’s not too late to make amends if you aren’t running in the opposite direction despite everything he’s put you through.

Kevin leans forward, hand still pressed to your cheek, and connects your lips softly. He’s testing the waters, making sure you’re comfortable before he continues anything. When you don’t back away just yet, he adds more force, deepening the kiss like a man starved. You whine against his lips.

This is what you’ve been wanting from him. More than what he gave you before your performance, but not what happened in the studio a few weeks ago. This desperation isn’t abashed lust, it’s unbridled affection— it’s everything he’s holed inside of himself for years, unwilling to let it see the light of day until now. If you were to label anything as perfection, it wouldn’t be a dance or a moment on stage, it would be this. Just you and Kevin finally bringing yourselves together in the most intimately emotional union.

He pulls you closer to him, hands sliding down to grasp at your waist, bunching up the thin fabric of your leotard. You can’t help but bury your fingers in his hair, tugging when he nips at your lower lip. A gasp permeates the air when his mouth travels south, along your jaw and down the side of your neck. He bites and sucks the tender skin at the base of your throat, ensuring he leaves his mark on you. This time isn’t careless, this time he has purpose. He wants everybody to know that you’re his, that you’re the only person insane enough to put up with him.

Your breathing is shaky when you reach behind you to lock the dressing room, dragging him over to the long vanity adjacent to you. He slots between your legs when you hoist yourself onto the surface. He pecks your lips and pauses his movements, rubbing up and down your thighs. In the dim, yellow lighting of the room, you look so gorgeous. He’s always thought you were beautiful, the most stunning thing he’s ever laid his eyes on, but he’s repressed it for so long. He wants to take his time staring at what he’s avoided.

”You’re so pretty,” he says quietly, kissing you again and again and again. “I don’t think I can last long with you.”

“Can we skip the foreplay?” You ask, bottom lip jutted into a pout. “Need you to just fuck me like you mean it.”

Kevin’s forehead falls to your shoulder with a groan. “I don’t deserve you,” God, he’s such an idiot for holding out from this. You should’ve been given the world and so much more. He has a lot of lost time to make up for. He kisses your shoulder with a sigh. “Yeah, baby, I can do that.”

You don’t waste another second, slipping your arms through the sleeves of your leotard. He has to bite down on his tongue when he sees that you’re braless, fingers going slack as they unbutton the rest of his silk shirt. You shimmy out of the one piece, left in nothing but the fishnet stockings you wore underneath and your lacy panties. Kevin thinks he must’ve done at least something right in a past life to experience this.

Your eyes sparkle as you look up at him, undoing his slacks and kicking them down his legs with your feet. Something takes over him when he rips a bigger hole in your stockings, pushing your underwear to the side. His thumb glides through your folds with ease, your slick providing enough lubricant. He pushes your lower lips apart while you busy yourself shoving his underwear to his ankles.

His cock slips inside of you with less friction than he would’ve thought, but he doesn’t complain, screwing his eyes shut as he acclimates to the feeling of your walls surrounding him. You moan, such a soft sound that he nearly loses his balance.

“You feel so good, baby,” he coos, digging his fingers into your hips as he rocks his own. “You’re so so perfect.”

The praise is too much for you, given the circumstances. Your brain is already cloudy, stuffed with what could only be described as cotton. You watch with half lidded eyes as he begins to piston into you at a faster speed. This all feels like a fever dream, something that was only possible in your craziest fantasies. Even then, it seemed unlikely.

“‘M close, Kev,” you whine, unable to stay still and attempting to match his thrusts.

“Already? We’ve only just started, gorgeous.” He laughs, but it’s breathy, strained from the exertion of his body. You hardly have the strength in you to be embarrassed about it, especially since he’s seen you in much worse situations.

You nod frantically, snaking a hand between you to circle your clit with nimble fingers. Kevin halts you and pulls out momentarily, sliding his cock between your folds like it was your hand. The tip catches your sensitive bundle of nerves repeatedly, making you dizzier than you already were.

He presses back into you with ease, resuming his sloppy but animalistic pace. He uses his thumb to continue your handywork, your cunt fluttering around him needily. You’re both losing your sanity quickly, both going batshit insane over the bare minimum. You’ve just needed this for so long, yearned for this moment for a humiliating amount of time.

Your moans start to rise in pitch and he groans. “Fuck, baby, you can cum for me.”

He could cry, he thinks, when your back arches and your legs shake with your orgasm. It hits you like a freight train, triggering his own release just as fast.

You stay like that for a bit, regaining yourselves and comprehending everything that’s just happened. So much for the whole hating each other narrative.

“What does this mean for us?” You suddenly ask, arms hooked around Kevin’s neck. You’re still connected by your lower halves, but he makes no effort to pull away. Part of you likes it that way, it gives you hope that this isn’t a one time affair.

“It’ll be hard for things to change overnight,” he says, massaging your sides. “We have a lot of unresolved issues and insecurities that we still have to push past. But I’m willing to do that with you. I want to take a chance on us.”

Your lips pull into a smile, an expression you don’t think you’ve worn around him genuinely in the years you’ve known him. “I do, too.”

“It’s kind of ironic that it was a performance that tore us apart and brought us back together, don’t you think?” He laughs.

“And we fucked in the dressing room…” You add, glancing to the top corner where a security camera is stationed.

“Maybe we should get out of here before someone checks the footage,” he suggests. “Tau Beta Zeta is conveniently hosting our end of semester party tonight, do you wanna be my plus one?”

“I would be honored.” You grin, pecking his lips tenderly.

Perhaps happy endings existed after all.

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[correctthroam]

I read THROAM for the first time in ~5 years. Here's what I have to say.

Volume I: There was so many characters I forgot about when going into the fic. Pete, Jac, Spencers family. I cant believe I forgot them. Pete will always be a fave because everyone hates him and it makes me laugh. The first volume was always my 2nd favorite, I think it still is. overall, the storyline isn't complicated and I like that. Ryan is such an asshole so I dont feel bad for him one bit in any of the fic. Also, I used to say that the bus crash was Brendons fault (I was 13, okay?) But Ryan was just an unstable motherfucker who truly should not be trusted to drive a vehicle of any kind.

Volume II: holy shit. I hate volume two. Not saying the writing is bad but Jesus Christ, Ryan is an asshole. bro literally stalked Brendon after he ran into him at that party like what? I had messaged a friend after finishing volume 2, saying "I'm a really nice person I never wanna make people feel sad, let alone make a whole fictional story about someone being severely depressed and unstable whilst chasing a boy then fucking his bf at the end???" and I think that perfectly sums up how I feel (and always felt) about volume two. other than the fact that I used to say that it was Brendons fault. (I was 13. THIRTEEN) it wasn't his fault. Some parts were, yeah, but it's hard to pinpoint everything that happened on one person. at the end of the day, its a good story I just Hate it (does that make sense) I love it but I hate it? it remains my least favorite purely for the pain it put me through.

Volume III: I love this volume. I always have. Sisky is amazing, we all love Sisky. I will say the iconic song/album references/jokes made me cringe a bit, though. Im not exactly sure what about this fic I always liked so much, I guess you can really see Ryans character growth and finally not be as much as a miserable fuck (he's still unstable dw) Since Ryan is less insufferable, it makes the volume more enjoyable. I like that Spencer and Ryan became friends again, I think it makes the book more enjoyable and tbh I think Spencer rly tied vol 3 together, if he wasn't part of it it would lowk suck. overall, best volume cant wait to host the throam tour where we go to hotel Chelsea then machias.

final thoughts: if I thought throam was 100% good when I was 13, Id say now that I think throam is about 85% good now. (does that make sense pt 2) this fic has sent me back into being 13 and I have been blasting some pretty. odd. (im listening to it rn as im typing this) and listening to this album just makes my life feel more simple. still a solid fic, I think it would be an amazing published book. and I think we can all agree that it would be amazing to see THROAM movies (in our dreams)

Thanks for reading lol

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi overbearing parents anon here, sorry i seem to only come on here to complain about them

well anyway... so i take collage classes and i told my parents i was staying late to work on my painting final but was really going to the library to use the computers and my parents checked my location and was able to tell i was in a different building... am i out of my mind for being pissed about that? sure i'm under 18 but i still think they shouldn't be able to do that, like i know i lied but i need space i cant deal with the noise sometimes and if i tell them i'm going to the library they wont let me cause they dont like that i read fan fic and LGBTQIA+ books... is it wrong that i do this?

Sigh.

I think...I think this is nuanced. Like... you're literally in a fucking library. Like in the grand scheme of things...you're not doing drugs or getting drunk or meeting old men on the side of a road. You're in a library. And you're in the general vicinity of where you said you'd be. Who's to say you didn't finish your painting and then go to the library to work on something else? Like if I was a parent, I would want to know if my kid left campus, but I think as long as you were on the campus, there's nothing wrong with moving about the buildings. Also the homophobic aspect of it kind of adds to the ridiculousness. AND the fact that they took the time to zoom in on your location enough to see the building? smh

The only point I can make towards your parents is location is a safety issue, and parents get pissed off when kids lie. If something happened and they needed to find you, or something happened to you, it's good for them to know where you are.

But truly, they knew you were on campus, so....they did know where you were. At age 16/17 I don't think they need to know your exact GPS coordinates. Just the general vicinity seems like enough to me. Like if you go to the mall, do you have to tell them every time you go to a new store?

It seems to me like they're more upset about you lying to read fanfic and they're just being homophobic, so you're not the asshole here.

I don't think there's anything wrong with you going to a library and reading books or fanfiction. The only warning I have is, make sure you're being safe. not just about the places you go (obviously a library is safe) but also about how much you piss off your parents. You don't want them to become even more controlling to the point you lose the ability to get some space, you know?

[goblinontour]

this isnt like a request or anything (unless you want it to be idk) it’s more so just a thought i keep having that i have no one to tell about </3

but like. I’m all for subby inexperienced fetus alex who’s all whiny and sensitive and whatever. yk how people usually write him. but I feel like theres not enough people talking about the idea of fetus al just being like the opposite of that. not sure about him being SUPER dominant but i keep thinking about him just being a total asshole but in a hot way. does that make sense? is anyone seeing my vision? like what if he was kinda sleazy…perchance a bit of a douchebag. maybe that’s not very fitting for him but idk some of those beneath the boardwalk songs are giving me that vibe. i am not a writer in the slightest so i dont think im doing the idea justice at all in this ask but maybe someone out there will get the vision here and could articulate it better 😭😭

yeahhh i totally get you! i think it’s really hot, i kinda have a hard time writing him like that for some reason but whenever someone else writes fetus alex more cocky n all that i’m like ooh 😮‍💨 in this fic i tried to make him a bit more like that and not just a nervous little bitch but yeah. speaking of beneath the boardwalk, @junedenim has a series going on that goes by that and it’s really really sweet and hot and everything, it’s everything. so definitely give that a read.

also, as a side note, if ANYONE here knows what i’m talking about please help me out. so there was this fetus alex fic (it was a one shot, here on tumblr) where he’s at a party with the reader and she had a crush on him or something and he gets REALLY drunk and goes off into a bedroom with her and takes his clothes off and starts jerking off next to her and asks her to have sex with him but she says no cause she felt like that would be taking advantage of him and they fuck later not on that night. if i remember correctly. jesus i hope i didn’t just make it up but i swear it was real and i read it and i haven’t been able to find it again since last year.

[drinkabletoxicdishsoap]

HAIII IM BACK LIKE I PROMISED HERES MY WINN BULLSHIT LORE

winn was superrrrr close to their mom before she died, she worked as a hair dresser for abit and then as a security guard at pattys and would take them to work when younger so they were very distraught when she died due to medical complications, emmet was a family friend and elijahs long time best friend from high school so they got married a little after her death (yes its suspicious and yes elijah mightve cheated while she was alive yes this is more convoluted then it should be) the cousins arent relevant at all, and yes charlottes name is a fnaf refrence i couldnt pass up the oppertunity

ignore the fucking . "missing since 2007" thing cuz its apart of that one au i mentioned i never talk abt anymore so it wouldnt fit into canon but tldr thats nick of time shes gone bananas dont worry about it (i had a fic in the worlds in like august . i still have the doc open incase i want to finish it since its halfway done but i cant write rn i can only do 1 hobby at a time #sad) also their maternal grandmama is a fucking asshole so who cares

(zipper is a border collie if u gaf......... btw)

I was going to make a separate Winn headcanon post but since you shared this beautiful family tree with me I want to share my headcanons about them!!

TYSM FOR SHARING ITT RAGHH ITS AMAZING AND YES I DO GAF !! THESE ARE SO COOL I LOVE LOVE YOUR HEADCANONS ABOUT THEIR MOM

If I do think of more, I’ll either reblog, edit, or reply!! I’m sorry if they��re out of character or it seems like I’m projecting

they listen to 80’s Japanese city pop!! please tell me someone else sees it and I’m not crazy 💔💔 I probably am oh well maybe it’s because im listening to that genre right now

following up with the music headcanons, I feel they would listen to a lot of bands. Not any certain kind of genre, they just love listening to bands :3 (weezer fan…)

hip hop listener

amusement park enthusiast

maybe it’s only because of the patty possum episode but I feel like they love arcades

GUITAR PLAYER THROUGH AND THROUGH TRUSTTTTTT!! ONE OF THEIR DREAMS IS TO START A BAND I SWEAR

lowkey a fnaf kid. Idk the patty possum episode reminds me a lot of security breach

has a lot of stress and anxiety problems but hides it because they don’t want to upset their friends

whenever they get a new interest, they dive deep into the lore

Minecraft kid.. watched a lot of Minecraft YouTubers (the ones who aren’t groomers I promise)

if I have to give them a style, it’s either grunge or Adam Sandler fits, no in between

listens to music A LOT to help them calm down. basically one of their coping mechanisms

always begged their parents to get them those playgrounds you build in your backyard

LOVES comic books!!!!

LOVES superhero movies as well

sonic fan

plays the pokemon games.. i think they’ve played every gen.. their favorite is black and white

card collector!!!

when it comes to vacation, they love going on excursions and exploring :3

I think they would enjoy gravity falls and adventure time.. maybe I’m projecting though my bad

I don’t know if anyone has read it but you know survivors? yeah I feel like they would love that but maybe that’s just me maybe I fever dreamed that

their favorite animals are bugs. They don’t discriminate they love all and any kind of bugs

they go to skate parks a lot ! They love helping out with people who are struggling with skating or just love hanging out with fellow skaters

very outdoorsy

they love action movies and games

I feel like they played a lot of the Mario franchise

SPLATOON FAN I SWEARRRRRR

I feel like they would love going to farms

posters everywhere in their room

Likes to hang out at roller skate rinks

graphic tees.. they’re so normal about graphic tees

pin and keychain collector

an anime kid but only for like the action animes. Mainly attack on Titian

plays basketball for fun

owns like 100 slinkys

That’s it 🤯 sorry it’s super long :d thank you so much for coming to another yap session! I hope you have a great day/night to whoever is reading this. thank you for sharing your family tree as well! If anyone has any more headcanons, feel free to share in my inbox, reblogs, or replies!!

[suzukiblu]

It feels a little weird and awkward to say this but thank you? For doing so much accidental baby acquisition/baby acquisition stuff in general? Its kinds always been my favourite thing to both read and write (has consistently been for over 10 years now) but people seem to majorly have a thing against it (especially when the parents are teens, which like, kinda fair because thats not SUPPOSED to happen irl, but thats also what makes it so interesting to explore in fiction yknow? Especially as a teen pregnancy baby myself) so I always feel very discouraged from writing that stuff. People go on and on about "kids not being a mandatory life step that everyone wants to do, stop giving these characters kids" and I'm just sitting here, absolutely certain I'll never want kids myself, wanting to explore the topic in fiction, and feeling super hurt by that. Why cant those people just leave it alone if they don't like it? What happened to dont like dont read? Why do they have to pick on people who write these topics?

That got a little venty, sorry

Anyways, I just really want to thank you for writing kidfics so often, as weird as that is. I've only been following you for a month but its already made me start feeling better about my own writing and favourite tropes. Its dumb to let assholes get to me, but they do start wearing you down after 10 years yknow?

Thank you, I'm so glad you're liking my stuff! And don't sweat it on the venting, I get it, lol. Sometimes you just gotta vent some.

Honestly I was kinda meh on kidfic/baby acquisition fics when I was younger and tended to go the "don't like/don't read" route on them myself, but these days it's just kinda helpful to be able to get out some of my feels about both how I was parented and how I'm very unlikely to ever BE a parent despite having previously wanted to, so like, accidental baby acquisition especially has just been REALLY vibing with me as a genre. Like--in the sense of if I ever end up with a kid myself, it almost definitely will BE unplanned and accidental, and also in the sense of my feelings about the idea of making a very deliberate Choice about being a parent, as opposed to just kinda doing it as another checklist item on the list of expected things you just do as you go through life.

Also I'm glad to hear you're feeling better about your writing, it's nice to hear I could help with something like that. ❤ I've been very lucky with the reception I've gotten for my stuff, generally speaking my readers either just don't engage with what they're not into or tell me "hey I'm not even into this, but actually I really enjoyed the way you did it once I tried it". So like, usually I prescribe to the theory of writing about things I care about and trying to be honest and not self-censor too much about the feelings and thoughts I have on those topics, and just try to let my audience find me via tags and word of mouth. If there's people who aren't into my preferred genres, then they can just go play in their own corner of the sandbox and I'll play in mine.

Plus fuck it, man, I just like writing cute kids and also working out personal trauma and helping other people just, like, get the catharsis of reading a healthy parent-child relationship. It just feels good, y'know?

[just-jordie-things]

spiderman fan anon here again who yapped abt how i think ur spideygumi fic is the literal greatest spidey au of all time.. sry i hope ur not tired of hearing abt it but i just reread the fic (again) and i cant stop thinking abt what mc and megumis development would be like from here… megumi is definitely not the typical peter-parker-type with his sense of justice (as one of his figures’ packaging hilariously summarizes “i save people unequally”) which has SOO much potential for a Good fucking hero story AND new relationship dynamic. like maybe megumi tries to become kind of a more “moral” hero on his own, but shit happens, maybe the govt or police are too corrupt and he realizes he can only trust himself to bring justice to the city, a more batman-like mentality. would mc have a problem with his morality and pull away? would she agree with it and help him as a journalist? would she disagree and give him the With great power Comes great responsibility spiel, leading to him growing into a more “true” spiderman-like hero? Idfk i do not write at all but i cant turn off my comics-loving brain with all this potential!!! i also dont mean to push u to write any of this but i had to talk abt it before i Exploded

the way i wanna make this fic a 5 movie franchise now becuz OMG THE AVENUES THIS OPENS UPPP

i am a marvel girl (sorry battinson baby even u aren't my fav) so i see spiderman!gumi having a deadpool mentality but without the mouth lolol

ok here's some very small thoughts i have about what a continuation in the story would've looked like:

he tries to find a mix between the public eyes' idea of the right thing and his version of the right thing but... dammit some people just gotta suffer a bit don't they?

he sees someone get a lil too harsh with a dog and he can't just give em a lil scare. next thing he knows they're beaten beyond recognition and webbed up to a wall for the police to deal with. fuck that guy, who hurts dogs??

when the news starts to call him things like menace and people start to wonder if he's not the altruistic hero they thought he was, megumi tries to balance between the different schools of thought of justice. he has you by his side, supporting him and wishing him all the best with being the best he can be...

so when some perp he's apprehending starts spouting off some real nasty shit, megumi tries to tell himself that prison will bring him to justice. over and over in his head he tells himself that he has to let some things go...

but damnit this bigoted asshole won't shut up and megumi just doesn't see how society could possibly function with pieces of shit like this roaming around. and no, when the guy's body goes limp after a swift ninety-degree head-spinning snap to the neck, megumi doesn't feel any regret. only relief that there's one less bastard in his city.

as for you, you've always trusted in spiderman. so you're learning to place your trust in megumi, too. you hate the rare occasion when he visits you bloodied and bruised, but you hate the idea of a city without spiderman's protection even more. you've been a fan of spiderman since the first day you'd heard of the sightings. a ride or die doesn't walk away just because things are getting a little nastier out there.

a career in journalism will prove to be difficult. the truth about megumi's double life is a secret that you both understand must stay contained no matter the price. you probably bounce around a few firms, trying to find just the right place to land where you can write the truth without revealing too much. however most outlets just want to report on the crimes spiderman himself has committed, and you struggle with badmouthing your hero (and your boyfriend)

i like to think megumi laughs at the papers trying to paint him as a villain. it doesn't stress him out, it's nothing to him really. just a source of entertainment for him to read to you over dinner. between the two of you, you handle the ugly headlines far worse. but megumi likes to rile you up by reading all the worst ones to you, just to make you fuss over it all. some nights it's like you're rivals again- megumi taunting you with the latest edition of the spider-menace storytelling, chuckling when you start to crinkle your brows and spout off about how some writers are uneducated phonies or how they're ungrateful for what he's done. you never fail to go on a long winded rant followed by some chugged down water. and as always, megumi will just smirk and shake his head as he throws away said latest edition.

___

i lost wind here but i would love to hear if anyone has other thoughts too!!

[captainshyguy]

6 bc im curious and 9 bc i wanna see ur hit list /hj

aaa ty belle!!

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

hmmm, not to my knowledge! the closest has been somthing ve been neutral bout/thought was kinda silly like melli and ingo lol, like i didnt hate it, but was neutral, and now i think its hilariousKJDSNGSDJ

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

(if these end up in characters tag i apologise but i aint censoring every single damn name! im not tagging and that should be enough)

oooh im gonna expand this bit beyond my regular fandoms bc there are some little fuckers out there i really hatein othe thinhs gkgjd, lets do regular fandoms first though

hollow knght: tpk, lurien, tiso. tpk for obvious reasons (plus i dont really like a lot of high up characters in general like focusing on tpk in fics kinda makes me eyes roll when the vessels are right there. lurien for reasons :). tiso because people went through a stint where he was just silly himbo and kept shippig him with quirrel nd i fucking hated that lol. his design slaps though

tcw: the bad batch lol fucking HATE them. tech is tolerable, and i dont even count echo one of them, free him!!! but the rest are condesceding assholes sorry idc if they get better in their own show like sorry you sold them to me as 'ooo arent they soooo cool theyre so much better than those Regulr Clones Boooo, look at them!!! like fuck off lol. you will never be captain rex

pokemon: not a big fan of 'hehee im a cutesy quirky little girl!! chracters, like sabi or poppy like. theyre fine i guess but eh. not for me. otherwise swordbert and shieldbert were also annoying kjgskgj

off the top of my head i cant really think of many for mario besides like...idk cranky kong specifically in the mario movie? awful voice perfromace. i guess waluigi too sorry, i m not a fan of like..idk, more basic mario chracters who dont really show up in non mulitplyar games, bc they end up beign sooo known and its like. bro they didnt even put him in wonder or 3d world or anything. like if u want him to be a staple mario character to me then put him in other games too, or i'll just roll my eyes that he's taking up space where someone like cpatain toad or peasley could be taking it lol

undertale/deltarune: detanged one but ice-e. ex went through a period where he as weirdly obsessed with him and thought he'd be super important and it annoyed me :)

ok now outside of my regular fdoms, characters i still loathe include

ralph from the flash- he was this stretchy dude who was awful abt women and like sure he kiiiida got over it but it felt weak and i hated him and the actor ended up being shitty anyway.. in the same universe i didnt like either oliver or barry's daughters from the future, both were very annoying lol

mon el from super girl. i hate him. kill him.annoying boring no chemistry love interest. kill him

eric sparrow from tony hawks underground- though i will concede that like the hollow knight characters, he contrbutes in really important ways to the story. like your'e SUPPOSED to hate him thats the point, they do a very good job with it. like he's written fantastically, and i want to kill him. i alway think of this article i read about him that was like 'eric sparrow is my best friend and he wants to hurt me' like yeah thats it thats the character. like i LIKE WHAT THEY DID, which sets him apart from almost everyone else here, its just what they did makes you hate him lol

ross from friends. miserable, insecure little creep. kill him

there are little charcters i loathe more than peter griffin family guy. kill bite explode

[leo-kinnie]

Lin Lin Lin I DO THAT SEEING GREEN AND GOING "THIS REMINDS ME SANDRO!!" THING

I even named my golden turtle ring sandro (idk why or how it happened I saw it and was like "yeah thats sandro"). I realize this happens to do nothing with the subject I was talking about. Oh well- ANYWYAS I love that info maybe stealing that info if you're OK with very short fics of sandros

Also yeah!! Portal Jacked!! And ooh I forgot about mind meld talk :0 hehehe it was a joy to read. Now. *looks at you with the biggest eyes ever* Ash info please?????? Anything about him????? Rant us about ash????

-☆staranon☆

COMES AT U LIKE THIS

ASH HAS A BAD MEMORY BECAUSE OF THE KRAANG

I dont know if anybody has looked at his toyhouse page or read his story there, but immediately upon "joining" their side, his concept of time was FUCKED, that was all this asshole's doing *points at Krang Prime*

I mean. It's a little TOO easy to fuck with someone's mind when they're asleep, especially when they're a hard sleeper like Ash is.

He eventually began to lose memories too, really important things that reminded him why he loved his family / the good times he's had with them. It fucked with him so bad (and he wasn't even AWARE of it) that it damaged his control on his ninpo.

Sandro's ninpo, in ANY au, has always been controlled by Unfiltered love and trust for his family. It's why OG!Sandro unlocked his ninpo in season 1 like how Raph did; he already loves and trusts his family with everything. Blindly.

It's also why Carefree!Sand can't unlock his ninpo. He loves his family, but he doesn't trust them with things he should, like his core personality or his fears and deep longing. He's obsessed with being the perfect big brother for them and to help Raph feel less stress; so much so that he curated a facade of always-calm and never-bothered.

And Ash? Ash's trust and love in his family is being unthreaded over many years of being with the Krang and his ninpo won't work anymore. His memories he clung to when he was stressed or feeling hopeless are gone, he can't fuckin' remember why he used to trust Mikey with his feelings or why he was fond of Donnie's narrations.

But he does remember Mikey being angry at him when he broke his skateboard, or the times Donnie continued to kick him out of his lab. He remembers Leo telling him that they'd love if he stayed behind at camp to protect the survivors instead of going out to save more. He remembers being angry and hurt.

And his ninpo began to react to that shit !!! His ninpo used to look normal, pretty green shimmers and light and hopeful, and it was turning toxic and black. That's why I draw his ninpo differently!!

Ash's ninpo is a direct consequence of all the things that were messed with in his head. Krang's influence is in his mind, which is also why in moments of extreme anger that seem (and ARE) super out-of-character for him, I draw his eyes like THAT