#also if you dont care then just dont read it??? nobody is forcing to anyways

[donovan-desmond-official]

Why do you guys keep saying you want the story to focus on the main plot? How is Anya's return to Eden not a main plot? How is the introduction of a new diplomatic not relevant? How is the way this new diplomate's affects the main target's son not important?

Can you just be honest and say you don't care about any chapter that's not about twiyor? Everything that's not about twiyor is just immediately labeled as filler or meaningless. I genuinely wonder if you know that its not a romance manga or a family manga. The story is about much more than twiyor threatening to bump coochies abeg. Like, genuinely, how do you reduce Eden chapters as filler. The whole story is about getting Anya to imperial scholar status, where else will they have these kinds of story progression.

You guys didn't even give the chapter a chance to marinate before claiming it was meaningless filler. You don't even know where the story is going from here. It was a story about jealousy and dealing with these complicated negative emotions. It even shows that grown ass 660 year old men are still dealing with it. How can you just decide it's irrelevant to the main story line? Are you endo? Gimme a break.

God you people are boring

[skenpiel]

My love what were ungonna say on that post it’s been eating away at me … i hate that i couldnt read it!!! I hate that i d3leted that shitass post!!!

OMG ok lets see if i can remember….. it was about mischaracterizing spot OH right ok so i hate when people take his awkwardness as a sign that hes like. weak and shy and submissive Like this is a guy who has never been taken seriously in his life and yet STILL insists on proving his worth to everyone. like he is absolutely a self confident person To a certain extent. i dont remember exactly how i phrased it but i talked about the change in his demeanor after becoming the spot……. in his previous state he dedicated his whole life to finding a better version of himself, indicating a sense of having given up on his own life, but when he became the spot he, for the first time in who knows how long, actually focused on HIS OWN life again. hes all but abandoned his quest of finding a better version of himself, and i think that stems from the feeling of grief and loss of everything he had. like, finding a better version of himself doesnt matter anymore, because it, and everything else he wanted, is completely unattainable for him now. he found new life in the role of the villain, and his focus was once again on his own reality. i think one of his main problems in his life before becoming the spot was the feeling of a total lack of control over his life. nobody takes him seriously, his only focus in life is work, his work gets STOLEN from him by his batshit crazy superior, hes completely isolated from the world and all he has is his desire to find a better version of himself in some other universe. hes so thoroughly given up on his own life that the idea of improving it doesnt even register to him, its too little too late, his only hope lies in other universes. so becoming the spot, and losing everything, INCLUDING the hope of one day seeing a version of himself that he wants to be, means he finally takes control over his own life. he found his new life in the role of the villain. its sort of like that edgy thing you felt when you were in your early teens, like “ill never be ‘good’, so ill just lean into being ‘bad’ instead”. hes never gonna get his life back, the only dream he had has been crushed, his sole focus is now on revenge and proving his worth. umm i got carried away here but anyway people woobify him to the point where he becomes a pathetic insecure shyboy and it ticks me off because hes NOT that. and also the fic u mentioned where you take care of him seemed really sweet but im also convinced hed probably fucking HATE that. like…… being pitied like hes some poor stray or charity case? he would NOT be comfortable in that role Hed get sooooo pissy about it Ud have to force feed him soup and it would take like months before he could actually accept that somebody is taking care of him

[simplyender]

If it's asks you want, asks you shall get! I remember you mentioning that you think Spot will probably die in the next movie. However, Miles says something like "Spot only wants to be respected, like everyone else," before he gets interrupted by Miguel. Maybe this could hint at Spot making it out alive. Or this is just wishful thinking on my part. And if he really does die in the next movie, then it will be due to his own actions, like using up all his powers or smth like that.

tbh, my reasoning for spot dying can be boiled down to a few points. but first, i wanna talk about...

why i absolutely believe spot shouldnt be killed off.

1. the current narrative is that miles is effectively breaking the cycle that is "canon", giving a big 'ol Fuck You to whats defined as fate and inevitable pain. spots trying to force miles in to the narrative hes made up in his head (which coincides with whats meant to be "canon"), but things dont have to be that way and miles KNOWS that. i think itd be thematically appropriate if miles breaks this cycle of cruelty and allows spot to survive, making him have to face his own actions and crippling lack of self worth and actually work to make things better, for himself and everyone hes hurt.

2. im overly attached to spot being disability-coded, for more on that, please read this amazing post that opened my third eye. anyway, the tl;dr is that spot behaves and is treated a lot like a newly, visibly disabled person, subject to the same prejudices as they are as well as being forced to navigate an entirely new body, as somebody might have to if they were to receive a workplace injury that left them disfigured and permanently disabled. this is also why id like it if he doesnt get turned human again/"cured" at the end. it just doesnt feel like itd be satisfying for things to end like that for him. if anything, the most satisfying conclusion to his arc would if he got stopped, and then be given the opportunity to finally take responsibility for his own actions, and acknowledge his own fault in what happened to him and that it ultimately wasnt miles that did this to him and that even so, one of the things thats NOT spots fault is how he got treated for what happened to him so he really should get understanding and validation in that department. he also deserves to learn how to accept himself (beyond seeing his new form and powers as a tool to pursue revenge) as he is instead of it being framed likes hes only worthy of respect and recovery once he becomes human again.

3. i like him a lot and thinks he deserves better than to just be killed off.

why i think that despite it all, spot will be killed off:

1. any form of redemption or willingly giving up entirely depends on if spot can bring himself to listen to reason and take responsibility for his actions. something weve seen that hes notoriously bad at.

2. why would spot willingly choose to give up and back down when hes got absolutely nothing left for him in life? theres literally nobody waiting for him on the other side of this if he does. no family. no friends. no job. nothing. he might consider himself too far gone.

3. while 90s cartoon spot DID redeem himself, he did it through a heroic sacrifice...

4. lbr spiderman villains usually either get jailed or killed off. why would things be different for spot. because hes sympathetic? a lot of villains are. hes also insanely powerful and this could end up as a "destroys himself"" situation.

5. spot might be about to commit mass murder, which...definitely makes it harder to consider him as somebody "worthy of redemption".

6. ive watched so many of my favorite characters die. im not kidding i have the worst luck. 98% of them have been killed off and i think spot might be next in line bc its unlikely the writers care about him as much as i do. :(

so...yeah.

[doll-elvis]

I AGREE SO MUCH ABOUT CHILD BRIDE. i went into it knowing nothing about the author, and in the forward shes really emphasizing how crazily obsessed she was with priscilla so i guess i was expecting it to be a sympathetic view of her😭 definitely not. what is suzzanes problem dear lord. shes so convinced and desperate to tell you that priscilla was some evil teenaged succubus out for rockstar blood. jesus christ. like girl even if she actually was who gives a shit????? same goes for currie grant. i dont care if he showed the author concrete evidence on a golden platter that he was telling the truth. hes just such an obvious sleazeball. just disgusting……. and she dedicates like 300 chapters to him saying over and over again that he fucked 14yo priscilla and that she was into it. babe they couldve had a steamy decade-long affair and NOBODY would care because he is literally just some random creep ass loser 13 years older than her. and when it comes to his attempted rape of her hes literally like “no i didnt try to rape her i just [decribes attempting to rape her]”. i really dont know suzzanes backstory but she is insane.

but uh. anyways that aside i did enjoy parts of the book for the more in depth view of the story. like suzzanne has such intense bias that really shows throughout but even with that it was still a great way to understand some of the situations a little better… i wish elvis and me was a little more detailed but i can appreciate how and why it is. and i am strangely curious about the actual nature of priscilla and curries relationship (i dont think they ever had consensual sex but i do believe he attacked her before elvis left germany and that leaves me curious as to why she still hung around him afterwards... i.e. those pictures of her to send to elvis that he took)

sorry for the huge wall of text im just.... very .. intrigued? by the book? its just so bizarre and raises a lot of questions lol.

“Currie’s like “No I didn’t try to r*pe her I just [describes atttempting to r*pe her]”

YES THANK YOU!!

if I could, in my own words, summarize the transcript of the conversation between Priscilla & Currie it would be this ⬇️

Currie: I didn’t r*pe you

Priscilla: You forced yourself on me

Currie: I didn’t force anything, you just weren’t into it

Priscilla: So you didn’t try to kiss me?

Currie: Well yeah I was trying to kiss you, you just wouldn’t kiss me back. You were very cold

again that was just my own words so not the actual transcript but that is exactly what I got out of that conversation- which is Currie denying he forced anything on her while simultaneously describing just how unresponsive she was to his advances, so THANK YOU for articulating that perfectly

He is an absolute sleaze-ball as you said, and clearly did not realize he was incriminating himself throughout that whole exchange

like even if Currie’s version of the events were true (I highly doubt it), he still committed statutory r*pe. Perhaps Suzanne and him don’t understand the age of consent but a fourteen year old girl cannot consent to intercourse, so anything he may or may not have actually done to her is still R*PE, whether she seemed willing or not. I’m completely abhorred that a biographer would give a man like that such a large platform and not only that, but agree/go with the story he tells- I’m sickened by it

and god, his reasoning as to why he wouldn’t need to r*pe Priscilla is just the most insane thing I’ve ever read ⬇️

“I had at least ten girls that I could call any night and go have sex with them,” countered Currie. “I’m not bragging—at least ten. I didn’t need to rape anybody ”

excerpt is from “Child Bride” by Suzanne Finstad

okay like?? Ted Bundy had a longtime girlfriend and yet he still went out and s*xually assaulted and murdered women… what’s your point, Currie?

what also bothers me is that Suzanne Finstad is sitting on the full audio tapes of that conversation between Priscilla and Currie, and knowing her history of misquoting people and writing things that don’t line up with other testimonies, I wouldn’t be surprised in the very least if parts of that tape have been conveniently left out, or transcribed wrong, as she converted it from audio to text

like the whole 1961 photoshoot, as you mentioned, is something that I just wish I could hear Priscilla explain for herself

Priscilla Presley and Currie Grant in 1961

It does raise the question if what she said transpired was true why would she ever want to be alone with Currie again, and better yet, why would Elvis willingly put her in a situation like that?

Especially when he was aware of the attempted r*pe ⬇️

MARTY LACKER: “There was a guy who used to bring Priscilla around to Elvis’s house some, over there in Germany. He would take her home to her parents’ place, and then he’d go back to the barracks. Well, he was a scumbag. He was using cute little girls to get into the house, to be around Elvis. And he tried to put the make on Priscilla one night when he took her home. She says in her book that he tried to rape her. But he didn’t succeed. Elvis told us about it, himself”

excerpt is from “Elvis and the Memphis Mafia” by Alanna Nash

The only explanation in my mind that makes sense is that perhaps Currie Grant was Elvis’ only remaining contact in Germany- or at least the only person in contact with Priscilla- and since he was so desperate to see her again, maybe thought that the reward outweighed the risk

And obviously a 15-year-old Priscilla was still reeling over him leaving Germany and would likely agree to anything to please him…plus since it was Elvis who asked Currie to take the photos, maybe she thought if Elvis trusted him to do that, she could trust him as well ?

And although I doubt she intended too, Suzanne inadvertently said something similar when trying to do one of those logical fallacies that she does throughout the duration of “Child Bride” ⬇️

“Priscilla, despite her claim that Currie tried to rape her, was thrilled to oblige, “desperate” for word from Elvis, through Currie”

excerpt is from “Child Bride” by Suzanne Finstad

I feel like Suzanne is basically answering the dilemma herself despite her attempt to point out the inconsistency in Priscilla’s behavior (her being afraid of Currie, but also being around him)

Priscilla was willing to be photographed by her attempted assaulter as she was desperate for contact from Elvis and Currie just happened to be that link between them

and I have to say, my original response to the ask that I received about “Child Bride” was something that I was worried about posting as many of the more passionate anti-Priscilla crowd tend to treat it like it’s their Bible but WHEW- I am beyond relieved that so many people have also seen just how outrageous that book is, especially the narrative that Suzanne Finstad goes with- like as you said, trying to make a fourteen-year-old Priscilla out to be some “teenaged succubus” LMAOOO (that took me out 💀)

I honestly consider myself to be Priscilla-neutral despite what some people assume of me based on some my posts 🤧 and so because of that, I am very open to reading and discussing the valid criticisms against her HOWEVER- I have no time in my day to take someone like Currie Grant seriously so that is why the first half of “Child Bride” (chapters about Germany and what fourteen-year-old Priscilla may or may not have done) are just what ruin the whole book for me

And it’s a shame because again, there are some very valid things that Suzanne points out about Priscilla, especially the things that were left out of “Elvis and me”; like her inconsistencies in recalling certain events, her sometimes questionable character (treatment of others), her possible greed (suing and more suing) and the biggest one to me- her involvement in Scientology… but all of that is just dampered by Suzanne’s god awful commentary and god awful judgement

also girl please do not apologize for sending this in- I sincerely thank you for adding to the conversation about this book as I think these kinds of discussions are so beneficial and I’m just truly grateful to be able to have them with y’all- I’ve fr learned so much from your guys’ insight

and since there is such a surplus of information about Elvis (and Priscilla), I feel like the best way to navigate through it all is by breaking it down like this, and so if y’all ever want to talk about another book feel free to send in your thoughts <3!!!

[cxhleel108]

S7 Thots for this week: Why is everyone here actually delusional asf???

(Apologies for posting this late guys I was very tired when I started writing this…I was also high asf so be mindful of that while you read lol.)

• Oh great now #Raphne is going through shit and everyone’s gonna have to dedicate their whole life to fixing it!

• Bryson laying it on THICC this morning I know dats rightttt😛😛😛

• No seriously why ze fook are we helping them with their issues? I need these people to go back to university or wherever and take a communication course cuz y’all are clearly lacking.

• Tanya so messy for asking that. Girl you know exactly who tf it is why you lowkey telling on yourself like that?😭😭😭

• #Raphne is 100% completely done y’all omg! (Bullshit)

• NO YOU WILL NOT!

• Willow is STILL talking as if anybody give af about what she got to say. Someone get this woman a hobby I’m begginggggg.

• I love having bathing suits worth mentioning now😍

• Ain’t no way they tryna force a argument between me and my partner over this Raf and Daphne mess…bitch.

• WE DONT HAVE TO AGREE ON EVERY SINGLE THING TO BE IN SYNC THATS NOT HOW COUPLES OR HUMANS WORK!

• Talk less sir.

• Why is there always some of the girls trading jealous looks when it comes to this challenge. The point is to literally kiss everyone and y’all still be getting salty, get over it??? Maybe I’m just crazy but I would literally not care.

• Once again Willow is putting on a show for her imaginary friends and nobody in the real world is gagging.

• Wow, now all of a sudden we don’t know how to kiss each other properly because we couldn’t help another couple stop arguing over fucking sheets😕

• How am I having more chemistry with Raf than my own man? God help us.

• Omg Evan came back for me y'all😍😍😍😍😍

• Paying gems magically brings back chemistry to our couple I guess.

• Girl you deserve a 10 backwards.

• That joke bullshit…BOO! CORNY! LAME! 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

• Bryson real lucky he’s cute or I wouldn’t allow him to be acting like a 12 year old about his feelings.

• #Raphne is back together woohoo! (They’re literally gonna break it off again as soon as Daphne founds out bout Raf’s crush)

• Don't force me to have a moment with her ew! That ho is NOT my friend.

• There’s quite literally no reason to speak to everyone about the recoupling. NO REASON!

• Outfit time!🤩

• Eat! Eat! Eat!

• Thought Bryson was finna ask us to be his girlfriend right then and there ugh I need him to hurry up.

• CAN YOU ALL LEAVE US THE ABSOLUTE FUCK ALONE LIKE GODDAMN????

• Vicky if you can see how close me and Bryson are then why would you…never mind why even ask at this point.

• Bonnie has been trying to get with Tanya since the beginning of time. Girl just give up PLEASE.

• Girl who tf is you-

• Why did we get dressed up just to go speak to 3 people???????????? Chile anyways it’s outfit time AGAIN✨

• EAT! EAT! EAT!

• LMAOOOO she's such a loser I almost feel bad...almost.

• Uma you know good and well you meant to record them boys fighting. Fuck outta here with that excuse💀

• Y'all will not let Jake REST oh my goodness.

• Oooo y’all the way Bryson is fighting for us…kinda feeling butterflies in my stomach and elsewhere🤭🤭🤭

• Everyone here is so delusional when it comes to Tanya holy fuck. Actually no, this happens every season. Why do some of these people think that just because THEY feel a good connection with MC that automatically means she wants them? Like baby that’s not how this works…

• Oh Bryson don't end half of the villa like that-

• Daphne don’t ask me if I think you and yo man gon make it niece you don’t want my answer to that lmao.

• 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

• Why y’all ain’t make us do a surprise dumping so we could get Willow out? WHY IS SHE STILL HERE SHE LITERALLY HAS NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE NOW????

• Oh I can tell you how! First, we're gonna walk in there and start marveling at every single thing in the room, specifically the bed, even though we've already been in there. Then, bet y'all won't see this coming, we're gonna find a box filled with naughty things😱😱😱 After that, we get to work and all that can be registered is the feeling of our partner's soft lips and how their hands caress our body in every place possible and then after a while we both reach our climax at the same time. Then our partner says they love us blah blah blah, we get some text about what's happening tomorrow and it's prolly the baby challenge or something equally stupid and ridiculous, and then we cuddle up and go to bed.

• If everything I just said is in next week's hideaway scene, everyone who likes this post owes me $10. I'm just playing, we all know everything I said is definitely happening. Keep your money💖

[ranidspace]

"I cant switch to firefox because..."

"It's too much effort to switch"

If you install firefox, it will ask if you want to import your browsing history, bookmarks, saved passwords*, and in a as of october of this year your extensions as well.

*dont use your browsers built in password manager. they're very much not as secure, even firefox's. read about passwords here

You can't import cookies for security reasons, but external tools can do that for you (try to avoid this. if you do have some data you need moved over, usually websites have their own "export data as file" option)

Everything else that you may need to fully complete the switch will come up naturally over time, the initial setup can be half an hour, or if you're happy with how it is at the start, less than 5 minutes.

"They don't support [website]"

Firefox is entirely up to date on current HTML, CSS, and Javascript standards. Theres a bunch of websites that compare all the features that firefox supports compared to chrome and stuff and they're often just, wrong? I've used some MANY of the features that firefox supposedly doesn't support. Plus they're constantly updating it for added support of new and old features. anything they refuse to add is due to security reasons, and nobody uses those features anyway.

In my experience i've never had to switch to chrome to avoid a website breaking. Sometimes it was because of an extension* but thats a very easy fix. Firefox has profiles built in and really good troubleshooting features.

*(stop using privacy badger/possum, please, it's built into firefox now, most of all privacy addons are completely useless because firefox already does it for you!!! ublock is safe tho i love u bbg)

If a site tells you "switch to chrome to see this site as intended" they're lying, and you can use a user agent switcher to trick them into thinking you're on chrome

"i need chrome for work or school"

i'd say 4 times out of 5 you don't, they say you have to use it but in reality it's just that they have better control over what you can do with it.

My high school had a shit ton of extensions automatically installed on chrome, including some shit that was literally spyware, it reported to teachers and staff all of your tabs you have open at any given time, and they could force shutoff tabs and force things open. They had absolutely no control or ability to monitor me when i switched to firefox, and there werent any problems that arose from it.

You can also just use chrome for school/work and use firefox for your personal web browser. separate your work life and personal life, you can do this with two different firefox profiles as well.

"I don't like change"

The only thing that's different about firefox in a day to day usage is the bar at the top, which is entirely customizable. Right click, customize toolbar, and you can mess around with it to make it the same layout as chrome. you can also get rid of those weird empty spaces to the left of the search bar they add by default for some reason. mozilla pls fix. You can further use themes to make it even look even more similar to chrome, I did that with my school profile to differentiate them.

When I switched, there wasn't anything I missed, I didn't have any of the "ugh i dont like how [blank] is in a different spot", or "ugh they dont have [this]". it just worked. It's a web browser, it works and does everything it needs to be. I didn't miss chrome at all, nothing felt different and the adjustment period to the new browser was LESS than what i felt when chrome updated the design in 2018.

"I have no reason to switch"

If you care about privacy at all (which you should), i could list hundreds of reasons why you should switch. Google removed "don't be evil" from their code of conduct for god sake lmao. Every new change they do is a ploy to get as much data from you and feed you as many ads as possible.

The dumping of Manifest V2/dynamic filtering not only makes most adblockers useless, it makes any sort of content blocking worse. Blocking trackers, malware, intrusive and annoying website features, these are things ublock does for you which chrome is doing its best to get you to stop doing. They want you to be exposed to predatory ads and malware so they can get more money.

If you have issues with ram usage and performance issues, firefox includes a lot of (lesser known) features to monitor RAM and CPU usage. While it seems as it may use more RAM, it automatically releases it when more ram is needed by other programs, effectively using less. It also uses much less ram in total in cases where there's 10+ tabs open.

Firefox can automatically block sites from auto-playing videos whenever you go on them

As mentioned firefox has so many more customization features than chrome, allowing you theme and move around everything to your hearts content

While on desktop, Chrome and Firefox are very close in functionality, on mobile, Firefox is working to add full extension support to mobile, it already has a small catalogue of extensions you can use, such as uBlock Origin. It has all of the desktop privacy features as well.

Firefox, only has about 3% of the market share. Other than that, chromium controls over 70% of all browsers, with apple controlling over 20%. The less people use firefox, the more control TWO companies have on the very act of using the internet. The Mozilla Foundation is a fully non-profit organization, with full ownership over the mozilla corporation, they don't have shareholders, and prioritize an open, safe, and private internet. Don't let them die.

"but what about..."

there's probably other reasons but the last of my advice:

you can have multiple browsers at once, install firefox and don't get rid of chrome. try firefox, see if there's anything you don't like, and try to fix it, and whenever you feel the need to, you can go back to the browser you already had.

[meep--tm]

if it helps i would read your completely self indulgent oc fic i love other people oc's send it to me please show it to me rachel /ref

ANON... for you. this is the first section of the specific thing i was referring to. the only context i can give are that yabis and shoki are two tieflings me and my friend luca played in a dnd campaign years ago (shoki was luca's character, yabis was mine) and latched onto and turned into our own seperate OC thing with their own mini story

i wrote this a while ago now but i like them so much i dont even CARE

👍

Somewhere downstairs, a gnome has taken on the mantle as the evening’s entertainer, and the drunken crowds have fallen silent.

It’s a natural fact of travelling bard-dom that wherever you may go, there’s about one peer for every ten sets of ears; Yabis learned this years ago and has kind-of, a bit, almost, sometimes made peace with it. There’s no one way to perform, after all - some carry a lute or a lyre, some carry nothing, some carry it all (although that’s only those with the luxury of a caravan) - and Yabis likes to believe they’re more unique with their technique than others. To linger on their self-doubt in the face of their competition would just concede the match, and would only foster bitterness; Yabis has a great amount of respect for their fellow performers, no matter the form of their craft or how much of Yabis’s business they may steal. It would hardly do them any good to go about as if they were deserving of special treatment. For one, no one wants to befriend a stuck up bastard - a bard who doesn’t network is hardly any bard at all - and for two, Yabis was homeschooled. They’re already fighting an uphill battle.

This is all to say that Yabis has a natural inclination to rush to the defence of any stray bard they may meet on the road, as it only makes sense to. It’s a lot more effort to be mean than it is to be kind, and you never know when you may need a performance partner. The current problem is that this bard, the gnome downstairs, is butchering The Moon Has Left Us Lonely - one of Yabis’s favourites - with the carelessness of a child’s off-key rendition of happy birthday. He’s singing as if a hag has replaced the lining of his throat with tree bark. He’s playing the lute as if he woke up this morning with new hands and is still determining how one should move their fingers. It’s unbearable.

“Somebody,” Yabis croaks as they’re ascending the stairs to the first floor, “should say something.”

A couple steps above, Shoki stops, turns on one foot, and stares down at them. Her expression is flat. Yabis stares back.

“To the gnome,” Shoki says. It feels like it should be a question - it isn’t.

Yabis nods heavily, grip tightening on the bannister. This is the first time Shoki has made eye contact with them in hours. “Needs to be told.”

“Hm.” Briefly, Shoki glances past the stairs and through the doorway towards the small sliver of the main hall that’s visible, and presumably to the bored patrons taking sips from their frothing mugs of ale. It’s packed tonight. Getting a room upstairs had been a nightmare, and Shoki had been forced to sit at the bar during Yabis’s performance instead of her usual routine of hiding in a corner booth; the house is full of tired labourers in need of relief. The perfect audience. As it is now, nobody is so much as humming. “I think he probably knows.”

“But he’s still going,” Yabis insists, also looking behind them now. One of the men at one of the tables notices her and waves, cracking a smile, which makes Yabis feel even worse because they’re not even in the room and they’re still managing to steal the show from this poor luthier. They wave back anyway. “Bombing. Everybody hates it. He’s still playing.”

A chord is hit particularly violently, ringing throughout the air with a sickening twang, and that horrible voice drags itself lifelessly over a line that Yabis had always found to be notably meaningful, one about elders and their children and the tragedies inherent to existing as either. It’s such an offence to the ear that an entire table of disgruntled women with scars on their faces take final swigs from their cups before scraping their chairs back and making for the door. The whole thing is one of Yabis’s stress nightmares come to life.

When Yabis wrenches their eyes away, they find Shoki’s looking down at them again - differently this time. More of her black sclera is visible than normal, the white irises of them looking dimmer and yellowed under the tavern’s lamplight, even though her broad figure blocks most of it. Yabis is largely standing in her shadow right now, actually, which is a thought that they carefully avoid lingering on in the name of acting well-adjusted and normal.

Today’s events have been unusual for the two of them, and especially for Yabis. Shoki could be thinking anything about them right now. This is another thought that Yabis is carefully avoiding.

Recent developments aside, her single minded focus on Yabis is a lot. Yabis is no stranger to being studied like this, but it always feels strange coming from Shoki - maybe it’s knowing that she has more knowledge packed into her head than Yabis ever has or ever will, or maybe it’s the unfeeling mask that she sports the majority of the time, or maybe it’s the disarming sweetness Yabis feels from her at times like these. Shoki’s hard to read on a good day, and today has been far from a good day. 

It’s alright. Yabis thinks her stoic “I don’t care, ever, and I didn’t ask, please don’t talk to me,” thing is pretty cute, actually, most of the time. Like she’s a cat or something.

Instead of trying to decode the look, Yabis studies her right back. There are flecks of muddy, dried blood scattered throughout her hair, the days-old plait falling over her shoulder the way tree branches fall over a stone-brick wall in winter, all splintered and dry. She looks pale, being a shade of lilac as opposed to her usual purple, with a dark flush running over her cheeks and nose and ears through the combined efforts of the sharp winds outside and the well-fed hearth by the bar. A dark bruise is already turning a sickly yellow at the hinge of her jaw, and her breathing sounds vast, and she seems to be slightly favouring her left foot.

(Yabis knows they probably haven’t fared much better themself; the fight today had been tougher than they had prepared for, and they still feel the stinging of a fresh scar spanning across their thigh, even after all of the healing spells. There’s a dried trickle of blood running from one of their ears, hidden under their mass of hair; even here, holding onto the bannister, they feel themself swaying slightly in place. It’s a miracle they had the energy to entertain tonight, and even more of a miracle that Shoki waited for them downstairs instead of disappearing upstairs for a bath. They’re not sure if they would’ve done the same, were the situation reversed; a bath sounds really good right now.) 

As the mutual scrutiny continues, Shoki’s mouth twists uncomfortably, unsure of what it’s trying to express. She looks tired.

“We won’t be able to hear him by the time we’re up in our room,” Shoki says eventually, her tone measured but equally as inexplicable as her face. “If it matters that much to you. I also,” she says, and she looks away now, resuming her pilgrimage up the stairs, “have earplugs in my pack. Help yourself.”

Yabis smiles and follows close behind, taking two steps at a time, feeling like they’ve won something. That was probably the best response they could hope for right now - it repeats itself between their ears a few times, help yourself, help yourself, help yourself - and the slight relief is wonderful. They just about have the mental fortitude to resist pulling their hair over their face and chewing on it as they ascend to their room for the night, if only because they don’t want to end up spitting out mud.

[elytrafemme]

shoving under the cut so i can talk candidly bc this is lowkey killing me, minors PLEASE don't read ty

sexual trauma drives me crazy insane because on top of all the like already exciting stuff i have to deal with like being unable to masturbate and endless horrifying guilt i also have this weird mindfuck where whenever im at home nobody talks about sex at all unless its a medical gig or im being told that i need to be careful because i look too pretty or im being reminded not to wear short shorts because i dont need to do that ANYWAY so anything i try to do is like inherently branded as kind of an illicit thing when its my own fucking body, but when im at uni i can't really do anything because while i didnt have a roommate last year i do have one this upcoming year and like even when i had my own bedroom i felt embarrassed and also everyone you know is way ahead of you and you are the one staggeringly behind but then you go back home and u feel like the biggest whore ever. Like. Sorry but even worse than sex not like ever going to happen for me being any kind of Other turned on is fucking embarrassing because like not exactly easy to explain to your friends that since everything got kinda ruined for u your sex ed is planned parenthood and written porn (largely fanfic) and ur routine is to just get ungodly horny and then give up (not to mention that im like super autosexual not in actual hypothetical practice but like nobody else except me gets me. Yeah). Girl who is forced to always think about sex but cannot do anything about this because of the very same thing that forces her to think about sex. AUGH. And then i try not to be envious of other peoples experiences but unfortunately i kinda have a tiny voice that sees other survivors and is like. how can you just Do The Thing. I never even had THAT direct of contact (trying not to say it wasnt that bad but like in a very literal sense it was NOT that bad) and i am like literally ruined forever lol. my literal life goal this summer is to jack off successfully but i dont want to cut my nails and i have nothing else and none of it even feels good. so i guess one day in college im just going to have to read some crazy fanfiction cut my nails and hope none of my sexually adept friends notice. should probably just bite the bullet and cut them tomorrow or something but like. Ugh. ugh.

[borathae]

chapter 15

Can’t you like it for me?” he says with big puppy eyes.

You look away.

“You’re being emotionally manipulative here.” shut up girl im loving u too much i cant

“You are playing with fire here, Bunny. Try not to burn yourself”, you grumble.

He chuckles and pecks your cheek.

“I like the burn”, he rasps against the shell of your ear, turning to the front afterwards.

SHUT UP IM CANT TAKE IT. try not to lose your shit challenge- mission failed successfully

He treated you so goddamn fucking well that sometimes you still felt the urge to punch him in the face and run away jk in the corner, i'll take that as a compliment

Lately the latter have become more and more. YAY

“Hey kiddo. How are you doing?” he says in a surprisingly deep voice for such a small frame. me with felix and taehyung

“for half a million bucks I expect to have the painter constantly working on it in a metal cage in the middle of my living room or something.” - ........ - a few bystanders had heard you and were now looking at you with weird eyes. SHUT UP THATS SOO ME except my voice would be low and nobody would hear but could be loud too cuz universe makes it louder at times when u dont want anyone to hear shit

although he was stressed and exhausted he never once smelled of alcohol. AHHHH IM SO PROUD OF HIM *gives a big ass hug and a smooch

WHY DOES NERO'S SHOULDERS LOOK FAMILIAR TO HER AND WHY DOES SHE LOOK FAMILIAR TO HIM AHHH STOP I HATE IT THIS CHAPTER IS A ROLLERCOASTER

again a fluffy moment after the tense thank you, her threatening to buy green and purple pillows PLZ that sounds like me trying to threaten my parents by telling them im gonna marry a cat crazy dude

“I’m not asking for it. I am very much anti punishment uwu i love this stupid noodle

He swallows heavily, “a-are we going to make out now?” he asks, grasping for your hips. he is such a cute and horny noodle pls and no u are about to cringe for the rest of your office time

FUCK GET YOURSELF A MAN WHO CAN FIGHT FOR YOU IMMEDIATELY

“don’t say that what the hell my cock twitched.”

“I am not going to apologize because I am way too turned on to care.”

He looks from side to side with the tip of his nose rosy.

“What’s with the sudden horniness oh my god?”

“It’s just that I never really saw you work before and it’s kinda doing things to me.” SAME HERE IM FEELING IM WATCHING SOME HOT CEO FROM KDRAMA BUT EVEN BETTER AAAAH

It makes his ass cheeks tense up and forces a quiet whimper from between his lips. SHUT UP SHUT UP HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MOVE ON FROM THIS MOVE ON WITH MY DAILY LIFE????? VANESSA HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE LAUGH LOVE IN THESE SITAUTIONS ??

I REPEAT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE LAUGH LOVE IN THESE SITUATIONS??? JIWOO SOUNDS SIERIOUS OH SHIT NOW SHE KNOWS AAAH

WHY IS SHE CONNECTING THE DOTS SOMETIMES CHARACTERS SHOULD BE DUMB PLEASEEEE also why is there a group of people surrounding kook??? 👀

the whole thing was soo tense i sweated through my shirt now im a stinky kid -_- BUT WE LOVED IT the emotions was captured soo well and he was supportive yet very unsupportive if your brain's going haywire with an anxiety/panic attack

Twirling him threw him straight into subspace. *insert meme i hope i dont fall, her: twirls him kook : oh no mommy

the mom is sweet AND I CANT STAND THE DAD UGHHH

i prayed for her to not go to the mirror AND SHE DID NOO its really the worst thing to do during a panic attack :(

that was soo scary even i felt the uncontrollable demons while reading and thanks it ended on a good note and it was cute.

anyways i wish her a great day next morning(tho the story has ended) cuz them muscles be hurting like a bitch oof

Me reading through all your reactions:

hahahahha I love how you went on an emotional rollercoaster with this chapter jfdjsf also you quoting so many parts is my weakness hehehe thank you so much for doing that

BROORORORO THE TWIRLING PART WAS THE ONE OF THE FIRST TIMES I WENT "oh fuck i have a mommy kink" LIKE IDK IF YOU GUYS KNOW BUT AAOL WAS MY MOMMY KINK AWAKENING FADSFAHH

[fictionkinfessions]

Super hyped for Chiori release bc I think shes lovely as a character vs. first Lyney shift in awhile and my first mem is that Chiori Was Scary. /silly

I MEAN She was scary in a mildly silly away I guess? I had some genuine ass fears in that tl and Chiori was not one of them. Chiori is scary like an angry mother is scary. In the "oh man moms gonna kill me when she learn this" way. Except its a 50/50 on if you'll actually die. (/j she never hurt me I promise)

Is it funny that I was more scared of her than I was of Father? Father didnt wave scissors far too sharp to be made for fabric in my face, I suppose. But really, who expects a fashion designer to be scarier than a high ranking Harbinger? Nobody thats who.

I'd always dread having to take my costume in to get fixed whenever I damaged it- I'd try to push it onto Lynette because the two got along pretty well. Sometimes I just couldnt do that though -.-" (as in she'd refuse to force me to actually face Chiori myself. "It's not my fault you're always damaging your clothes Lyney." auuuggghhh)

Was very surprised one time when I had come in after being randomly attacked (I typically made sure to not be in my costume for fatui work. This situation was not that, robbers I think), I had begged her to not be mad fully expecting her to blow up at me because the damage was b a d- and she just. Calmly said shes glad I was okay- Made me blue screen for a second I'm not gonna lie. She usually never held back from yelling at us like an angry parent for little damages. I think that made me realize she did actually care about me alongside Lynette, she's just protective over her art. And I suppose it makes more sense to be mad about me being careless during an act than to be mad I got attacked, right?

I miss her to be honest. Sure I thought she was terrifying, but I still think she was fun, she was one of Lynettes few friends too, and one of our sisters in the hearth (whos name i dont remember, shes noncanon anyway) took the occasional lesson from her too. I could just never read her, I never knew what she was thinking. Which was entertaining, but also scary when the only thing you CAN read is she is fully capable of killing without you even noticing the attack. (seriously Chiori you'll never convince me those scissors were genuinely for fabric. I know fabric scissors are sharp but.. C'mon I'm sure those could've gone through bone. /dramatic)

I know I'm talking about how scary she is- And the threats and yelling we'd get from her and all but- I hope nobody takes that to mean Chiori was a bad person. She was lovely, really. A little bit eccentric but all vision wielders are lets be honest. She had her own story that I didn't know. But I think we, just maybe, would have understood eachother more than either of us realized back then.

~Lyney 🕯♟(GenshinImpact)

x

[diaryofellen]

out of everyone in the rpgmaker tournament who would win at monopoly

upfront: i havent ever played monopoly and i only vaguely know how it works. my instinct is to say sara though.

claire is the one who suggested everyone play a game together but she got confused by the rules. she uses the rubber duck piece and makes duck noises

rachel would do decently. i feel like she would actually play rather normally and do pretty well fairly. shes the dog

niko wanted to play uno instead and is disappointed. was really adamant about not being the cat piece.

madotsuki is technically playing as in shes using the board at the same time as everyone else but she seems to be playing entirely her own game with her own rules and nobody is really sure what her objective is

ive never played off. but the batter is the car. and he is scarily competitive.

goldia doesnt really care about winning or losing shes just happy to be included for once

viola (more specifically ellen in violas body) does really well but through cheating. i dont know how you cheat in monopoly but she does it.

aki isnt really playing personally shes kind of watching overs and going around to people giving each of them advice and trying to be sociable. shes also holding her bat just in case the group gets into an argument and starts fighting because she is ready to ensure - with force - that everyone is being friendly and having fun

russell is banned from playing monopoly after what happened last time

charlotte loses miserably but continues on anyway despite being far behind everyone else. nobody can tell if shes genuinely not aware how badly shes losing or if shes just trying to have fun despite it. shes the shoe.

noel cerquetti starts arguing and starts calling people out for cheating. shes the top hat

allen is kind of bored and confused and for the most part is just trying to read. he only pays attention when someone shakes him and says its his turn. he doesnt watch what the other players do

sara is killing it. sara is doing fucking great. the other two who are doing good are 'viola' and rachel but sara is doing excellently, partially through strategy and partially through luck

sunny was not invited to games night

ib doesnt know what the word monopoly means

and finally. aya. she pretends to be having fun and tries to be happy but inside monopoly fills her with a mad rage

[tiodolma]

Thoughts on how Morgana, Morgause and Merlin killed people

i just realized that it was only in s5 where Morgana really truly absolutely did attempt to finally kill Merlin (not as emrys but as merlin.)

plus it wasnt even an act of revenge, eliminating him was just a necessary step in the destabilization plan to destroy Camelot

whereas merlin already tried to have her killed in fires of idirsholas to save camelot. that was in the first 3 years Merlin and Morgana knew each other btw.

therefore Morgana waited 5 years to finally decide that she has to kill merlin. think about that. Merlin did nothing but try to kill her over and over again, but Morgana didnt want him personally dead YET... for 5 YEARS. FIVE YEARS AFTER HE BETRAYED HER VERY PERSONALLY.

this brings home the point bruh. Morgana doesn't kill recklessly. Tears of Uther Pendragon and the Dorocha incidentwere NOT Morgana-led attacks because those were Morgause's plans. Morgana didnt want to unleash the Dorocha at first because she was afraid and also didnt want to lose her sister. Morgause persuaded her to do it regardless. SO Morgause is the one who plans to kill indiscriminately and just brings Morgana along for the ride.

Notice this, left on her own devices, Morgana's kills were strategic, even from a tyranny/warlord standpoint. If she had her way, she chooses who to kill and who to save for later. Morgana's not a frkn idiot. Her letting the soldiers target the fleeing city folk was to intimidate Leon and the other Knights and force them to submit. In the spirit of historical sieges YES. that was done. actually that was pretty merciful compared to what you read in history. Anyway back to the point. It forced Leon to surrender, which was the goal (tho he immediately defected, which is of course understandable)

How about Merlin, are his kills strategic? I dont think so. Merlin is a reactionary protector of the status quo superhero. Watch video below to understand the trope.

Merlin doesnt think of the consequences when he kills. I think he's more reckless tbh coz he doesnt discriminate either. He just kills as a reaction to danger in the spirit of self-defense. He gets pushed back into a corner and that's when he strikes. Thing is with Merlin is that you shouldn't trap him, because he will strike back like a dangerous wounded animal in defense of his "loved ones" (the government). As a supposed savior of the magic folk that's not really a healthy way to deal with threats, especially since he does nothing to actually not get forced in the trap anyway (ie reconnect with the magic folk at least, find stable alliances, negotiate, bargain, etc.) The problem though was that this turned him into a vigilante. Because he was eliminating treasonous threats without the state's knowledge or permission, that makes him a serious threat to social order himself.

He and Morgause are the "Damn the Consequences" kind of guys. The consequence of Merlin doing that was that he kept proving that he was no ally to the embittered magic folk. Morgause's actions also meant that she really didnt care if nobody lived to run the kingdom as long as she got to overtake it. (see her just killing Cenred)

Morgana, for the most part wasn't like that. Morgana weighed the effect of her kills more than you think. Morgana frkn doesnt kill her own allies right away(unlike morgause). What she does really well is "breaking her adversary's morale." That takes skill and careful maneuvering and planning. Killing is the last resort for Morgana and she doesn't usually take it, especially if she sees value in keeping someone alive. Her "Damn the Consequences" attitude would have taken effect more on the long-term aspects: open riots and insurrections.

It was only after Mordred died that Morgana finally killed every little threat to her life. She has gone mad at this point. She's become the wounded animal. (like merlin)

anyway this is a long essay on how merlin x morgause x morgana killed people.

...............

btw this isnt an essay to justify who was good or bad. I just think they all had different ways to handling their issues.

[creweemmaeec11]

Villain X Hero Writing Prompt- Today is the Villain's birthday but due to a bad memory accosiated with it (and because the villain is kinda lonely) they dont celebrate. The villain has a battle with the hero with the hero merging victorious, kidnapping the villain. The villain thinks they've been kidnapped for information however the hero made made dinner and got a meaningful gift for the villain. Have fun with this prompt!

I love this concept. Villains being surprised with pleasantries is everything♡ I know I didn't quite get to the present part, but it felt like the right place to cut it off. I also just realized I kinda forgot about the "for information" part, oops. also I'm so sorry this took so long!

As if their day couldn't suck any more than it already did, the villain had to go and top it off with losing in a fight with the city's hero.

Could this day get *any* worse?

They were handcuffed in the back of the hero's police car, driving through the city, towards the city jail, just like they had so many times before.

The villain had escaped jail multiple times, so this wasn't much more than a large inconvenience for them, at least it would have been, had it happened on *any* other day.

The criminal in question had gone out to avoid sitting at home alone with their thoughts today. Having to sit alone with their thoughts in a jail cell was an even worse option.

Letting out a deep sigh, they flopped back against the seat. Miserable. They just felt miserable. It felt like they couldn't even see colour in the world around them anymore.

"You're much quieter than usual," the hero commented as they drove, "Is something wrong?

"Excuse me‽"

"You're usually more talkative. These drives have never been this quiet before,"

"What do you care?" The villain muttered as they turned to look out the window.

That's when the villain suddenly realized something.

"Wait, we aren't going the right way," the villain blurted out, sitting up straighter suddenly.

The hero in the front seat gave a laugh under their breath, "you only just noticed?"

"This isn't the way to the station or city jail,"

"That would be because we aren't going to the station or city jail,"

The villain felt their throat tighten.

"Where are we going?" The villain asked, trying and failing to sound demanding. There were notes of slight fear. Nerves.

In the rearview mirror, the villain saw the hero glance at them, before their gaze fell back to the road ahead.

They didn't say anything.

"Hero..." the villain tried, "Where are you taking me...?"

"You'll see," was the hummed response.

A feeling of dread settled in their stomach.

Looking out the window, the car was already on the outskirts of the city.

Suddenly the radio was flicked on.

The villain swallowed nervously.

What a day to go out on, of all the 365 to choose from in a year.

After driving for close to half an hour, they were well outside the city and into the surrounding woods, pulling up to what looked like a small cabin.

It wasn't that the villain exactly *blamed* the hero for what they were about to do. Clearly, they'd pushed the other too far, or maybe the hero had finally grown tired of their game of cat and mouse.

This just wasn't how the villain imagined themselves leaving this mortal coil. It was always in a blaze of glory, last stand type of thing.

Still, they couldn't find it in themselves to fight back. Not today. Perhaps it was fate, to be taken out on the same day it all began. Poetic, if not ironic.

The hero got out of the car, straightening themselves and stretching for a moment before turning and opening the back door.

"Are you coming?" The hero asked, before surprisingly taking a step back away from the door so the villain could get out on their own. Not like it mattered, the hero probably knew there was nowhere to run out here now.

"Do I have a choice?" The villain muttered under their breath, looking at the ground.

The hero had the *audacity* to look *surprised* at that. As if they were shocked the villain wasn't jumping with excitement to get this over with.

"Well, I mean... no... I guess... I'd like to think I'm not forcing you but..."

The villain sighed, before swinging their feet out and standing up. Luckily, they'd been cuffed in the front this time, which- now that they thought about it, was also abnormal- but it made it easier to get out of the car on their own.

Still, they felt the hero put a hand under their arm to help steady them -as if polite bedside manner would change anything, only for the villain to shrug them off.

"I'm assuming there's nothing I can say to talk you *out* of doing this, is there?"

"What?" The hero asked in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"Ya know, pull the whole 'you don't have to do this, I'll be better, I swear' kind of thing?"

"Excuse me-?"

"I mean-" the villain continued. They were rambling now. Maybe the fear was finally fully starting to kick in. The desperation, because they really *didn't* want this. There was no way they'd allow themselves to beg, but- "it would be a lie either way, I guess, despite the fact I probably shouldn't have said that I'm assuming you'd already know anyway, so-"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down," the hero said, placing a hand on the villain's shoulder gently, snapping them out of their spiralling thoughts, "What in the world do you think I brought you out here for?"

The villain rolled their eyes, "At least make it quick, will you? And stop acting oblivious or like I forced your hand. At least own up to what your about to do,"

The other's eyes widened as the final piece clicked into place, "You think-! I'm not gonna kill you-!" They cried in what could have been mistaken for horror.

The criminal furrowed their brows.

"I brought you here to *show* you something, silly!" The hero explained, before stepping forward and unclipping the handcuffs off the villain's wrists.

Said villain's eyes widened, "what‽"

The hero nodded, smiling, "I have a surprise for you,"

"What?!" They asked again.

The hero only nodded excitedly before turning the villain by the shoulders and giving them a gentle push towards the door, "Go on! Look inside!"

The villain glanced at the hero uncertainty before stepping forward toward the cabin.

When they opened the door, they froze on the spot.

It wasn't anything crazy.... the inside looked like any other cabin. Table, chairs, small kitchen and living area with a couch and tv. Warm glowing lights and-

A banner hung from the ceiling that read in large letters "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

The villain spun around so fast they nearly gave themself whiplash, turning to the hero that had sense come up behind them.

They jumped back slightly, words and air catching in their throat as they gawked at the hero like they'd grown 3 more heads.

Said hero laughed lightheartedly, "Surprise!"

"What..."

It was like that had become the only word in their vocabulary.

"I know it isn't decorated much, but I didn't think you'd like the cliche ribbons and streamers and party hats," they made some jazzhand-like gesture, "I was also going to blindfold you but I didn't think you'd let me do that either,"

The villain could only stare, like their brain couldn't process the words they were hearing.

"I also made dinner, and a cake! Oh! I also have a gift for you too!"

The villain didn't move.

"Oh, and one last thing, I gave up and the fun cliche stuff just for you so I'm gonna make you suck it up and accept a birthday hug,"

"Why..." the villain managed, "why would you..."

"Why not?"

"I don't deserve this, I don't-" their voice cracked.

"Hey," the hero said softly, taking a step forward, "I heard you didn't celebrate, and I couldn't just let that happen. Everyone deserves to have a good birthday,"

The villain couldn't find any words, but the single tear that managed to quickly slip out and down their cheek did all the speaking for them.

The hero gave a small, sympathetic smile before opening their arms.

Nobody moved for a moment, before the villain caved, stepping forward and looking at the ground. They didn't reciprocate, keeping their own arms close to their chest, but allowed the hero to wrap theirs around them.

They'd never realized just how much taller the hero was until they were basically burying their face into the heros collar.

The villain couldn't even bring themselves to care at the moment, because they suddenly felt so safe, which was bizarre, considering how they felt on the way, but here they were.

"I still don't think I deserve this. Especially from you," the villain muttered from where their head was still tucked down against the hero's chest.

"I don't think your qualified for that kind of thinking, considering what you thought you deserved on the way here, which I'm almost offended by, by the way,"

The hero was rewarded with a small laugh.

"So, come on," the hero said before suddenly pulling back. They reached up, gently using their thumb to brush away the tear track on the villains face, "no tears," They reached down, grabbing the villains hand to gently tug them further inside "let's make some better birthday memories,"

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[ascaryghost]

This is a TMI question but I think it’s legit important - read something about how most people with eating disorders have a 💩 related story - usually like literally shitting their pants because their eating disorder messed up their stomach so much.

So many people try to glamorize or romanticize their disorder relating it to words and images like “delicate” “butterfly” “fairy” “fragile” “dainty” etc etc. But nothing is less glamorous than popping your pants - or almost popping your pants - or having public diarrhea or something.

Since you’ve had such a journey, going down to such a low weight, forced recovery, relapse, etc. I was wondering if you’d have anything you’re comfortable sharing on this subject to show people that it’s truly the least glamorous thing to get wrapped up in

Also anyone who sees this if you have a story pls drop it - let’s show these young people that are still trying to glamorize eating disorders why they gotta cut that shit OUT

okok so the worst thing that happened to me was at lw just days before i got hospitalized. I remember being rly scared cause i was like ok shit my body is actually shutting down wtf. Like i didnt go out much so usually there wasn't a big chance that something would happen in public but i was orthorexic at the time to i was at the *gym*, running on those god damn machines. And it started to feel like something was passing through my stomach, like air or water i have no idea it felt rly weird. I dont remember if i slowed down or continued anyways, i probably didnt tbh and suddenly literally my entire pants were wet and i was like ok what the FUCK just happened. Luckily i was alone in the gym cause it was a very small gym in a small town so i ran into the bathroom and got on the toilet just in time to literally pee shit out my ass. And i looked down and there was this liquid poop all over my panties and some on my leggings. I had to sit on the toiler for like a good 20 minutes first because i kept fucking pooping pee?? it was like throwing up out of my ass rly weird. Then I had to wrap my panties in papers and put them in the bin and cover them with more paper and pray to god nobody else would see them, wash my pants, put the wet pants on (luckily i had a pair of pants to have over the leggings too so i put them on over), and then act like everything was fine. Tbh i can't even say that i stopped excersising at that point and went home like i should've i probably just kept on tbh. and i also didnt tell anyone about this. Oh god and then there was in the hospital, when ur put in recovery so suddenly and after such a long time ur stomach is like HUH?? tf is this??? food??? for me??? so every day for weeks i had to have some weird liquid be shot up my ass by a nurse just to be able to shit and i got so constipated i looked pregnant. There is NOTHING glamorous abt eds. its shit (literally.) ive been at the lowest bmi most people can get to without dying and lemme tell u, it was not enough. its never enough. i wasnt fragile dainty uwu. more people didnt care about me. i was just the same self hating me, but with half my brain gone, no energy and unable to take a proper shit. not pog.

[spiritunwilling]

hiiiii yen you have intrigued me, what is up with the divorce blorbo inlaws? whats happening and could they perhaps mail their marriage licenses to these- these three guys i know. who i hear want to get married soon. if they dont want them anymore i mean

okay so the day that feyre archeron gets a divorce in canon is the day pigs fly and stuff but i want her to get one so bad

feyre is from the book series a c /ourt of thorns and roses and i do not recommend and probably discourage anyone from reading the books because they are bad and have a lot of weird sex scenes and very questionable choices made by the author and while i really like some of the character concepts, sjm has dropped the ball on execution every time and nobody who gets more than a few sparse paragraphs of writing stays likeable. but at some point a few years ago you figure that ok ive read enough of these books by now and i like some of the minor characters enough that i might as well hate-read the other ones. and also bc i want custody of some of her characters so i can rewrite them. i have a different version of feyre in my head that diverges from canon right at the beginning of the series (usually i j call her feyer lmao) and in this ideal world she never gets fucking married in the first place

but the version of feyre that i am divorceposting abt is her and all the shit that's happened to her as of the latest and worst book, a/cosf. and well a lot has happened.

she got married (and got mated to, ick. im still 90% sure it's just plagiarised omegaverse but anyways it's like. soulmates. i guess. sjm herself can't seem to decide what it is if not a reason to force characters into relationships and have sex) to this guy named r/hysand, who has such a terrifying long list of red flags and Bad Shit He's Done that i cant sit here and list all of them because that would take too long and i'd probably miss quite a few but both the series and the character have very active crit tags. a lot of it is played off or ignored or excused away by the actual book bc in the series theyre supposed to be , like, a perfect couple. :|

and yeah the series only spans like. 3 or so years and feyre is 19 at the beginning of the series and 22 and full of trauma and she fucking died once and there was a whole war and the author decides that the best ending 4 her is to have her stay home and. have a fucking kid?? babygirl go get therapy go reconcile with your sisters go travel the world literally anything but this. also the pregnancy subplot is so incredibly fucked up. ummm basically r/hys gets overprotective to a disturbing and v controlling level and also when he realizes the pregnancy threaten's feyre's life he withholds this information from her so I need her to GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE RIGHT NOW

in my head it's maybe a year or two or three after the ending of acosf and feyre realizes how bullshit everything is and starts trying to figure out how to leave the night court (the faerie court that r/hysand rules over) with her kid and reaching out to her estranged sisters and old friends (also estranged. jesus) and getting her picture of my dress moment figuring out where she goes from there. sigh.

i don't think the night court has marriage licenses. or divorces? but in spirit it's a divorce.

and like. i like feyre. well, no I dont. [see: "nobody who gets more than a few sparse paragraphs of writing stays likeable"] but there's like these tiny moments in the first book that hint at some rlly compelling character traits that are unfortunately completely drowned out by the rest of the shitty romance. she keeps her oath to take care of her family even when it's easier to break it, even at the cost of her own life and her own happiness and she has a strained relationship with her sisters and feels like she's responsible for everything and has a complicated understanding with gender roles and her hunting and her capability for violence.

but canon doesn't touch on that.

[b4byb4ts]

ive been gone for SO so long but i think i want to start using this acc as like a but of a diary type thing--

so.. last time i was here i was super deep in my ed and going through a LOT of shit.. since then i accidentally recovered from my ed, not as much mentally but i have gained,,all of the weight i lost back,, i eat pretty "normal" but i still feel incredibly guilty and feel like the "i never want to eat again" type feelings..

i lost one of my closest friends bc of my ed, and though it has completely destroyed me,, honestly it was probably for the best, its part of why i recovered. he told me he didnt think i would ever recover after he tried to force me to and i said i didnt want to, but after that we stopped talking (his choice not mine) and i at first took it as a "okay well im going to get as sick as i possibly can" but then realized that was what he wanted so i instead forced myself to recover fully out of spite as a big "fuck you" to him.. and i even tried to tell him thinking fkr some reason he would care. he didnt. i got a thumbs up and a good luck along with the most like.. "youre a waste of space" type of look ive ever gotten. and it COMPLETELY destroyed me.

moving on... i got a new job at a v popular coffee shop in my town and its absolutely amazing, everyone i work with is absolutely lovely and i just love it so so much.

I also got back with my boyfriend and ive never been happier in a relationship, im absolutely sure that he is "the one" like i trust him more than my own mother and im more comfortable around him than anyone ive ever been with before everything is just so so lovely.

not that everything has been perfect like it sounds though,,, im still not mentally recovered, again, better than before, but still not great,, i constantly crave my ed like i want to relapse so bad i just,, cant for some reason,,?

more on,, health,, mental AND physical,,, i got diagnosed with pretty much a chronic illness, i still dont know the cause for it,, like i have treatment for the symptoms but no clue what the cause is. i got diagnosed with adhd during my ed but that is,, obviously still there,, i just very recently got told by my therapist that she thinks i may be autistic,,, i looked into it and it seems VERY possible which is,, a lot to think about because i have no clue how to tell my parents or if ill even be able to get diagnosed,, plus ive got a TON of shit with my family going on,,, my dad lives in a different state but there's a LOT going on with him which stresses me out,,a lot.

OH one last thing -- i learned to crochet!!! i learned with,,, disordered intentions (i thought if i learn to crochet i will be using my hands more so it will be easier to not eat) but i love it SO SO much, I'll probably be posting a lot abt crochet now because its like,, all i do lmaoo

anyway, thats all ive got for now i think -- hopefully i wont just disappeared again (even though nobody actually reads this-) but if you are reading, thank u so much for actually caring enough to read all of my rambles <3