#also if something isn’t in my top 20 it doesn’t mean I didn’t like it I watched around 125 2024 releases so. just. these are my favorite

[strawhatmay]

Here’s drabble number three from this au. The idea grabbed me by the neck until I wrote it.

An interruption from the restaurant to the apartment.

Warnings -> Suggestive, Implied car sex

The Birthday Present

Dinner was lovely, Sanji was as charming as always, and Zoro did his best to behave like a gentleman while eating.

Now, they’re on the way back to the apartment for his big birthday present.

[How far are you guys?] Usopp texted Zoro.

[‘bout 5 min] Zoro answers, making sure Sanji can’t see his phone.

Then, Zoro feels a hand on his leg, very near his crotch.

He looks to his left, and Sanji gives him a quick look with a smirk from the driver’s seat, the other hand on the wheel.

[Make it 20] Zoro texts Usopp and locks his phone.

“You ready for your present?” Zoro says with a teasing smile and a seductive tone.

“Feels like the same thing you gave me last year,” Sanji says as he puts his whole right hand on Zoro’s bulge.

“Get your hand off my dick then,” Zoro answers with a smirk.

“You’d rather I put my mouth on it?” Sanji almost purrs.

“Mmm, isn’t it supposed to be a gift for you, though? -ah-“ Sanji starts massaging him through his pants. “Right now it feels like I’m the birthday boy.”

“You’ll see when we get home.” Sanji also sounds a bit agitated.

Right, home. He can’t let Sanji get there if he’s hard.

“When was the last time we had sex in the car?” Zoro asks in a suggestive tone.

“You mean that one quicky right after you won against Alber?” Sanji spares him a glance. “That was hot, but it was a mess, and my back was killing me for like two days after.”

“I can be on top then this time,” Zoro tells him as he goes for Sanji’s lap.

But Sanji flinches. “Do NOT touch me, I WILL crash.”

They stop at a red light, and Zoro fully turns to him.

“Zoro…” Sanji starts, cause he knows Zoro’s gonna beg.

“You said your back hurt, so I’ll be on top. What other issue is there?”

“Liquids! This is practically a new car!”

“I’ll swallow the whole thing-“

“Stop, gross.” Sanji makes a face.

“Ok, you have tissues in the glove compartment, you always do”

“There’s no lube!” Sanji looks around.

“Please, like that stopped us before.” Zoro gives him a look.

“Ok fair, but still. Why do it here, in this cramped up, cold space, with no lube, when we can go make love in a big, warm, soft bed?”

Tempting…but they will not be able to use the bed for a few more hours.

“…because I want to do it here.” Zoro insists.

“It’s MY birthday, doesn’t that count for anything?”

“It didn’t count when I said I wanted to top the next morning of mine.”

“Because it wasn’t your birthday anymore, AND you fucked me twice the night before.” Sanji explains. He has a point, of course, but…

“Sanji…” Ah, the bedroom voice. A low, breathy tone that almost turns into a whine at the end.

Green light. Sanji looks ahead and starts the car. He tries to ignore Zoro cause he knows he must be giving him the biggest puppy eyes he can.

“Baby…”

Zoro is trying SO hard right now. The bedroom voice is only reserved for…the bedroom, but Zoro uses it when he really really wants Sanji to agree on something.

“Stop it, why are you so determined to-”

“You know how much I love you, yeah?”

Sanji turns to him for a moment and glares like he just slapped him.

“How much I want your eyes on me, all the time, only on me.”

“Don’t-”

Sanji closes his eyes for a second, overwhelmed with emotion. That’s one way to tell he’s about to break.

“And I would do anything for you, baby.”

“You would, huh?”

“Live and die for you, you only.” He almost whispers.

Zoro grabs Sanji’s right hand from the wheel and puts it on his bulge again as he tilts his head back and closes his eyes.

“Let me ride you, make you feel how much I want you.”

“…fucking shit.” Sanji’s pissed.

Either way, he parks at the nearest parking lot that looks dark enough.

-

Almost 30 minutes later, they make it to the apartment complex. Zoro texts Usopp that they’re right outside.

Inside the elevator, Sanji attacks Zoro’s mouth. They get their hands on each other, and Sanji starts stroking Zoro’s back gently. “You’re ok, right?”

“You’re kidding? It was wonderful, you just wanted to complain,” Zoro says, smiling. The doors open and they head to their place.

Sanji pushes him with his arm a bit. Zoro stumbles and then does the same. They both have dopey smiles.

“This isn’t the same car as last time, moron.” Sanji almost laughs.

“I could top you anywhere, Curly.” Zoro hits Sanji’s chest with his index finger.

“I’ll remember that.” Sanji smirks.

They get to the door and he takes out his keys. Sanji drops them, and Zoro goes to pick them up.

“Let me,” Zoro tells him and bites his lip.

Sanji laughs a bit confused. “What a gentleman.” He kisses Zoro again, but it doesn’t end there.

Zoro struggles to open the door while making out with his boyfriend, who seems to be very eager for round two. As he finally succeeds, Sanji pushes him to the wall right next to it, still mouth to mouth. Zoro pushes him off just a little bit and turns on the light.

“SURPRISE!” Everyone in the room screams, confetti flies, and people start coming out of their hiding spots.

Sanji looks at them, shocked.

If it wasn’t obvious because of the balloons and the cake, and the fact that everybody he likes is in one room…

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SANJI” Franky, Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy scream as Nami goes to hug him.

Everyone else also screams “Happy birthday.” And as Nami gets her hug, everyone else gets closer to do the same.

“You guys…this is so…thank you, thank you so much, I’m so happy to see you all,” Sanji says as he accepts hugs and praises. “How did you even…all this, YOU- you…” Sanji lets go of Reiju and points at Zoro behind him, who gives him a shy smile.

“You were in on this, weren’t you?”

Zoro puts his palms in the air and shrugs.

Sanji grabs his face and gives him a few pecks. Niji and Yonji make gagging noises.

“Alright alright, he just had an idea, we basically took over from there,” Nami says. Zoro sticks his tongue at her, and she does the same.

“Thank you, thanks to all of you. Really.” Sanji looks like he’s about to cry. Zoro hugs him from behind and Sora comes out from the crowd.

“Oh, dear,” she says as she grabs his face with both hands.

“I’m ok, ma.” Sanji squeezes Zoro’s arms around him. “Let’s celebrate, shall we?” He smiles.

The end.

[academiaipromise]

Oscars are tonight, and for whatever reason, I’ve actually watched all 50 nominated films this year. So. I just want to give some shout outs because contrary to popular belief, there were some excellent films this year. Focusing on films that I think have unfortunately not gotten the acclaim that they deserve - I do love some bigger ones (The Substance, Conclave, The Wild Robot, A Real Pain, just to name a few), but here are five nominees that I think should be bigger in our awards conversations.

Nickel Boys (directed by Ramell Ross) - this is my favorite film of 2024, and I genuinely believe it’s maybe the snub of the season that it wasn’t nominated for both Best Cinematography and Best Director. An extremely faithful adaptation of Colson Whitehead’s Pulitzer Prize-winning The Nickel Boys (which is also excellent), the film follows two teenage boys at a reform school in Florida in the 1960s. Inspired by horrifically real events, the film largely tells the story in first-person POV, which is something I’ve never seen done so effectively and emotionally before watching this movie. The visual language this film creates is stunning, and the performances were knockout. Highly, highly recommend that everyone check this out if they can; it’s extremely unlikely to win big at the ceremony tonight, but it’s one of the standout films of the year for me. My pick for Best Picture if I were an Academy voter.

I’m Still Here (directed by Walter Salles) - nominated for both Best Picture and Best International Feature Film (as well as an extremely deserved Best Actress nomination for Fernanda Torres), I’m Still Here follows the life of Eunice Paiva (Torres) and her family after the Brazilian military dictatorship disappeared her husband (former federal deputy Rubens Paiva) in the 1970s. While this film is firing on all cylinders (directing, cinematography, just everything truly), it hinges on Fernanda Torres’s performance, which for me is really a once in a lifetime thing to witness. Maybe that sounds hyperbolic, but I left the theater a shaking mess, and I’ve thought about her and this story almost every day since. Fingers crossed this at least wins Best International Feature Film, but I genuinely think this deserves every award it was nominated for and more. Putting it in this list because it’s honestly confusing to me that this hasn’t been the front runner all year long.

Sing Sing (directed by Greg Kwedar) - nominated for Best Actor (Colman Domingo), Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Original Song (“Like a Bird”), this maybe doesn’t sound like a film that’s been overlooked by the Academy, but it unfortunately really has. The snub of Clarence Maclin not being nominated for Best Supporting Actor is something I think about watching every single awards show this year, and while I am rooting for Kieran Culkin still (with close seconds from both Guy Pierce and Jeremy Strong), it is difficult for me to take that category seriously without Maclin there. This film follows a theater group in Sing Sing prison and through incredibly powerful performances (most of which, outside of Colman Domingo, were delivered by actors who were or currently are part of the real life theater group that inspired this movie), the film explores the human need for art, expression, and connection within the lived reality of incarceration.

Better Man (directed by Michael Gracey) - y’all knew this was coming if you know me at all. It’s time to talk about the Robbie Williams musical biopic wherein Robbie Williams is played by a CGI monkey (aka a fantastic performance in motion capture by actor Jonno Davies). Now listen to me seriously: this is one of the best films of 2024. It’s nominated for one Oscar tonight (Best Visual Effects) and this is maybe the thing I’m rooting for the most for the whole night (other than Emilia Perez losing). It’s unlikely to happen, but man is it deserved. It’s amazing how much this movie actually wouldn’t work as well if Robbie Williams wasn’t a CGI monkey; it sounds like a weird gimmick, but it’s the linchpin of making this character and story work. As you can maybe tell, I’m USAmerican (sorry), so the only context I had for Robbie Williams before this movie was that episode of Derry Girls where they’re hitchhiking to Belfast to see Take That in concert, but you don’t need to know who Robbie Williams is for this film to work (though I now know there are plenty of Easter eggs for Robbie fans throughout the film; I’ve been won over!!). It’s an incredibly moving look at fame, addiction, mental illness, and loss; on top of all of that, it’s actually a great musical! Please watch this movie!

A Different Man (directed by Aaron Schimberg) - yes, we’ve had too many “Man” movies recently (the week’s difference between the rated-R horror film Wolf Man and the children’s animated film Dog Man in January being the most egregious), but don’t let that distract you from the excellence that is this movie. Part dark comedy, part horror, part…whatever this movie is, A Different Man follows aspiring actor (Sebastian Stan) who undergoes a radical medical procedure to change his appearance, only to descend into obsession and madness when he loses out on a once dream role to an actor with the same features he used to have (played by a phenomenal Adam Pearson). When I saw Sebastian Stan was nominated for Best Actor, I was pleasantly surprised until I realized he wasn’t nominated for this movie. Only nominated for Best Makeup and Hairstyling, A Different Man really is one of the movies that has stuck with me ever since I saw it at a screening back in September, and if nothing else, it’s also a fascinating counterpoint to The Substance that I think is necessary for both films.

Thank you for indulging me on five of my favorite but underrated Oscar nominees 💜 I’ll leave you with a rapid-fire of my top 20 of 2024 movies; some of these will make more sense than others, but the reality is that I watch a lot of movies (things Academy voters can never say lol) and I like a wide variety of movies. Anyways - if you love movies, strive to watch enough so you too can have a completely nonsensical list of favorites and fight with the Academy, too!

Nickel Boys

I’m Still Here

I Saw the TV Glow

The Fall Guy

The Substance

Thelma

Twisters

A Different Man

Challengers

Sing Sing

The Wild Robot

A Real Pain

Better Man

Hit Man

Dìdi

Conclave

Hard Truths

My Old Ass

La Chimera

The Seed of the Sacred Fig

[coffeegnomee]

The Phenomenon of Mapicc

At some point we all look back at our early teen years and realize that just because we can scam a fellow kid online because the game developers didn’t specifically write it out of the code or write safety procedures to protect their user base doesn’t mean we should scam other kids online. At some point we all realize, almost out the blue, that the other people online are real people and not just slightly more interesting npc’s walking around the world. (Though the tendency to do so anyway is always present)

Mapicc as a character on the lifesteal smp has long eluded definition for me. There are ways in which he simultaneously 1) a blurred line between character and streamer, 2) a clear cut motivated character with clearly defined goals and personality, and 3) simply and completely a guy playing a video game. 

He is all three at the same time. A blurring of real emotions into the Minecraft world, a player curated for a video, and the man who is who he is while he plays video games. I don’t think you can take one out and get a serious understanding of the character of Mapicc.

The battle between all three is constant, and the person who Mapicc plays as the persona of the Mapicc channel is only one part of the lifesteal character that the audience can encounter. The persona of Mapicc, the video Mapicc, is brutal and bloodthirsty, uncaring of past connections, and dedicated to a cause. At least, specifically when you watch that unfold on streams. He’ll be randomly extra brutal for seemingly no reason until you realize he’s got a specific video idea he’s doing. Like killing Pangi and Zam day 1 was bc he was running out of the 24 hours to get to 20 hearts, which is a video idea and also seemingly not caring that (at least Zam) is a close friend. Tbh it’s been a while since I thought about the actual persona of a Mapicc video as told through edited content, honestly, if anything I would say the Mapicc that Mapicc presents to the world on his channel is much closer to himself than how that plays out while watching it as a stream viewer on the server.

Now, you might already be thinking, gnome, this is too much like c! And cc! And I’m tired of all those indicators why can’t it just be blurred and that’s it and it’s all just fun analysis about a small facet of a person that we see only when they want us to and is bound within the four infinite walls of a Minecraft server. 

To which I would say, yes, yes my brain hurts too. 

But there is something about Mapicc that can only ever be understood through the lens of the media that he exists within and from. I might even argue PrinceZam is not in this category despite being notorious for being a blurred line character. This isn’t simply about the nature of blurred lines in mcrp.

Mapicc is not simply a blurred line. Those two facets of strictly a character and strictly the kid who plays Minecraft on top of the blurred line are vastly important.

A blurred line character is a character that smoothly and subconsciously transfers between the real emotions and psychology of a singular real human, and the projected, improved character that they are playing. They might start as a clearly defined experiment such as “what if I played as a pacifist” and divert into something completely complex. They’re almost like a thought experiments. What if I changed this about myself; how would that look?

Every streamer will be a blurred line at some point. We’re watching real people be entertainment; at some point there is a boundary between who they are and how they present themselves. Some will either create a persona to project to the world as themselves, dropping the act only at certain times, while other streamers might pick up a persona/character at times to fulfill a fun facet of the story but then drop it easily to play the game while talking to chat. I would argue that both sides are valid at the same time for interpreting their characters, an easy example being tommyinnit and Philza respectively. Any server they’ve been on has been marked by their respective styles and you can interpret their characters within by looking at both aspects together, and the elements of the character as a whole will be discovered differently in different situations.

Mapicc, once again is not quite that. 

As a streamer who is actually pretty consistent in his upload schedule, he is motivated by the story he tells, the plots he wants to pull off, and the villains he fights against. I find it imminently fascinating that the castle arc was actually supposed to be a video but was scrapped bc Mapicc lost the fight, rather than what was told, sometime earlier, that he just never made it a video and regretted it bc the fans loved the story. 

But he is also a player who plays lifesteal consistently. His breaks while editing are markedly shorter than most other players who upload, and his time on the server while not having a clear video idea are much longer than nearly 2/3 of the player base. Most members of lifesteal only appear when they have a video idea.  

So therefore he plays Minecraft while on his or other’s streams. 

We are all aware to some degree who we are when we play video games. It’s not the same as who we are as people. Whether it’s being more violent, or being a completionist, or farming, or building, or ranking up; everyone has their own preference for why they like playing a video game in the first place. 

Minecraft as the particular sandbox that it is has four entire categories of gameplay that coexist at nearly all times: pvp, optimization (speedrunning/redstone), building, and socializing. 

Throw anyone into a Minecraft world and they’re going to gravitate to some more than others. And each category has subsets: pvp can be split into competitive and hunting people down; optimization can be grinding, or game mechanics, or red stone machining; building can be artistic/creative mode, or just for fun, or secret bases, or tunnel cults, or anything your mind can think of that manipulates the blocks in the game; socializing can be as a shared activity, or trolling other players, or just running around wasting golden carrots together.[1] etc etc etc.

And Mapicc has maxed out the pvp category, at least to the best of his ability. He leans far more towards hunting people down rather than pure competitive gameplay, preferring to “change the world”[2] by killing someone rather than practice mechanics in a practice server. He wants to get on the ground and actually affect the world around him just as much as any builder.

In other words, the bloodlust isn’t just something he does because his character likes blood and he wants to do a villain arc. Mapicc would want to kill on any world he joins, and would be rather bored if that wasn’t an option for him. 

He is also incredibly social, preferring to play with someone else around him rather than taking on solo missions by himself. He’s not a grinder by nature in the slightest, but has learned the skills to be one. 

He’s also honorable, in a world commonly upheld has having no honor, holding to a moral code of killing and being attacked as honorable while running in circles and bow spam and not showing up to fight and avoiding battle are categorically dishonorable acts that he disdains. The rule is the rule of battle. Fight and kill and be killed. Let the cycles commence. 

And as soon as we start thinking about Mapicc in relation to others, we start to see his character give form. 

And this is where we finally loop back around to the point I alluded to in the first paragraph: the phenomenon of growing up. 

Mapicc by the end of s4 and through s5, I would say, was his most consistent era. All the memes and love about dogged devotion, unending bloodlust and run-you-down-to-the-ends-of-the-earth-forever-and-ever were thriving. His patience was surprising, willing to wait for the opportune moment to get revenge, never forgetting what had been done against him. [3]

But something shifted in s6, and not just the responsibility of being the owner of the server. Mapicc is simply maturing. No longer 14 years old like in s1, we’re in the post high-school-graduation era. 

In the past I would’ve called Mapicc a cheater (/aff), an exploiter, willing, so very willing, to do anything to turn the tide of a battle to his advantage. 

But now? I’m not so sure. 

Will he be immune to temptation when it arises? No, not at all. While we are already seeing his willingness to never dupe again, his easy laughing off suggestions to admin abuse, we are also seeing his frustration lead him to launching nukes at spawn with Spoke.

He will still always call in backup when he promises a fair fight. But hey, it’s lifesteal. Lying is part of it. And honor is found in showing up to the fight, not in a fair 1v1. This is war after all. 

But, and I mean this specifically for the entire character that is the story of Mapicc, Mapicc has been changed. This season is so devastatingly different. Duping and being on the wormhole side in s4 changed him, getting beaten by a traitor in the Abyss changed him. 

But s6 has been a slow cooker roasting him into something new. 

Everything points to him wanting to mature, to be different from the past, not so impulsive, more caring of his own time and others, willing to drop the past. 

Bitterness in loosing teammates and friends, loneliness in a world once populated by an awesome team, and the cold cruel hand of suddenly being favored by the Sever, have only brought sorrow and destruction upon him. 

And he’s left purposeless, held together only by what he has left to him, his honor, his pride.

And so, on a much more practical and real world level, Mapicc just does’t have a video idea for s6 anymore and he wants to upload more frequently. Back in s4 he was so much quicker to anger and long-drawn-out to seeing it through. He’s unwilling to drop four months into one video that he doesn’t even upload. This isn’t high school anymore.

And that real world problem of YouTuber-doesn’t-have-video-idea, is part of every character on lifesteal. That ebb and flow of inspiration curates each and every one of them. Wemmbu being done with ls ideas for the season will lead him to ban himself to be rid of the temptation to log on, leading others to be affected by how callously he leaves this world without thought of what they think, thereby curating the character into a complex emotional mess who doesn’t believe people actually care about him or would want him around and who pushes people away and is villainous because he’s never understood what love is. All because he doesn’t have an ls video and has a uu script to write. 

It’s part of any lifestealer who doesn’t naturally gravitate towards the “lore” of the server.

And yet recently I’ve been really feeling like Mapicc absolutely plays lifesteal like it’s actually mcrp. He’s become invested in how Mapicc would react to the elements of the server and the things that happen to him. He’s always cared deeply about the livelihood of the server, but it’s more curated into a story than ever before. Mapicc is The Complainer and The Sass Master and that has made him into pvper who is notorious for running around the server dropping lore lines as trash talk, never missing a chance to really lay it in how dumb he thinks Flame is for logout trapping him and always doing what Mane tells him to do. Why? He doesn’t have a video idea for that 2v1 (unless?), none of that trash talk is necessary, he’s shown he doesn’t say that trash talk when on the practice server just days after the event happened. Like, that is so specifically a rp moment taken advantage of. It has no other use than bc on lifesteal Mapicc Hates Flame. (and because on lifesteal is his only outlet for those emotions; he's not going to start hating on his friends in real life for in game stuff)

Sure, in some ways Mapicc keeps lore distinct and at arms length. And this is, for instance, why I think devotions is as devastatingly dramatic as it is; because Mapicc will never admit how much Zam means to him and yet will be character-motivated by his devotion to Zam at all times. But him as a person just keeps that mostly at arms length; it’s not him caring about Zam it’s about the wardens, guys. Spawning wardens for a video. And owning spawn. Obviously.

You see what I’m getting at? It’s not just blurred, it’s two separate thoughts held at the same time. Mapicc and Mapicc combining together to make Mapicc.

So much of Mapicc is a mashing together of anything and everything he thinks of throwing at the screen. And all of that somehow comes out to an actually understandable and crisp final character who always acts in the most Mapicc way possible at all times always, undefinable except by saying “it’s just Mapicc” and that Meaning something. 

----

So when you see me writing about Mapicc, know this is what is going on in my head.

———

[1] im bringing footnotes into a Tumblr essay. Wemmbu, who I talk about later, would naturally play Minecraft as a run around wasting golden carrots type guy. As a person playing Minecraft he does not gravitate towards doing, well, anything. It is only in making a video that he will move himself to be anything. Despite learning pvp and rising, what, two teirs?, he is not someone who will casually look for fights while on a server. It’s not in his blood. 

[2] ~1:00:00 GREYS prinzezam vod, ZAM: ‘why are you always trying to kill someone mapicc?” MAPICC: ‘I dunno.. Maybe I feel….. Underachieving. Without it. Like I didn't get anything done to day unless I get another kill” ZAM: “but you have 20 hearts” MAPICC: “yea but the killing is changing the world” 

[3] The castle arc lasted from November 27 until March 6. From the day Zam left team awesome to the day they finally got their 1v1 without Spoke spawning a warden. 99 days. (That’s fucking crazy given the 97 days we just went through). I suppose in a very valid way, the mace arc was 8 months and we have no idea where s6 will go and how Mapicc will get revenge on flame, for instance. But as of now he’s just done. That’s very different than any other time in his lifesteal life, and the response, as a long time Mapicc viewer, is more empathetically devastating. But those 8 months are not the same as the four months of the castle arc. The mace was no logged in for most of those days. His dogged determination wasn't the same this season as the past.

[nicromancytarot]

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KNOW RIGHT NOW?

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 20-30 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

PICK A CARD READING

I asked my spirit guides what you need to know right now (and I got some weirdass answers), pick a card to find out what they have to tell you.

PILE 1

This was certainly a confusing reading, the first thing I was seeing was someone scrunched up on a couch, holding a telephone to their chest while three people tried to pry it from their hands. I also noticed that there weee hills piling up. Weirdly, the message I was getting was that bills weren’t being paid for the sake of hoarding money, and this person had swapped/sold out their old mobile phone for a much cheaper alternative (telephone) to preserve money.

The cards showed me a story of someone who had made a large sum of money but were hoarding it due to financially unstable beginnings. I see this making the person feel trapped and territorial. When visualising I saw a young firm who was even afraid of the attitude this person had, this may be your child, your inner child or a future child or yours.

Spirit showed me the 10 of pentacles, the empress and the death cards to symbolise that this is something you need to take the time to grow from, and let go of.

With the high priestess and wheel of fortune I can see that you can continue/start spending that money that you need to be spending and the universe will continue to give you the money as a reward if you allow it.

But do not overindulge.

I asked for some confirmation, and I got the word “liver”. After research I learnt that you can remove 90% of the liver and it will still grow back to its full size. I see this as a message to tell you not to worry about the loss and focus on what can be built up again.

PILE 2

Firstly, for visuals I saw a girl and a guy (gender doesn’t matter for this) inside an arcade, the guy stood by while the girl won a teddy bear from the claw machine (a notoriously hard game to win). After she had won it, the guy proceeded to try and steal the machine. The girl stood on lookout but was against the idea. She then pulled him out of the arcade and berated him for his stupidity - he however, did not care. After a little while they had calmed down and she asked him to go on the helter skelter (is that how you spell it?) He then flat out refused, not having a care for her desire.

I can see that this connection isn’t one you want to keep, whether this is family, friends, or even a partner, I can tell that this person doesn’t understand you and doesn’t plan on trying to anytime soon. The claw machine felt like an easy way to your heart and instead of taking the time to try their best at winning you another teddy, which would take time, money and effort, they resulted to trying to steal it. They didn’t care about the consequences of getting caught because they never seem to think ahead. They tend to live in the moment and that can get them in trouble.

To me the helter skelter represented the lengths that you would go for them (since it’s quite high up and I’m personally terrified of heights.) And you would take that journey to climb the stairs, get to the top and then make your way down the slide, meanwhile they were not willing to do this for you.

The cards tell me a similar story, I see a selfish individual that gives only what they can gain, this means materially you can have everything, but emotionally, they offer nothing close to what you desire. You’re willing to work on the relationship but they are not. This causes gossip and instability, it leaves you up at early hours of the morning upset.

I would recommend standing your ground and realising your worth so you can finally walk away.

[belli5]

Things fall apart — Niko Omilana

Genre/warnings: angst, trust issues, reader is from Brazil in this story.

Summary: Niko constantly coming home late, never spending time with you anymore, makes you question if the relationship can move forward.

A/n: im so sorry for not updating, I’m not in my home country so also the Wifi is expensive asf 😭 sorry if there’s mistakes, rn I’m too lazy to read it through but once I’m not gonna be, I’ll read it through 😭

Masterlist

Niko constantly came home late, these past few weeks, you understood that he has a YouTube career with the beta squad and it’s completely fine, you loved all of them like they were almost your brothers.

You were also sometimes spending your time with them, it was so much fun. But when Niko started coming home late, you refused to believe that they were filming everyday and SO LATE.

You were fine by it the first days, maybe he did have to film late or something, but not everyday.

You had confronted him about it and he didn’t see it as a big deal. Today was a day he only came earlier than he always NOW did.

“It’s exactly what I mean. We haven’t spent a lot of time together, we haven’t made love, you haven’t took me out.”

“Niko, don’t you think we haven’t spent a lot of time together lately?” You ask him, as he watches the tv on the couch.

“What do you mean?”

“Well if you want I can take you out this weekend!”

“I don’t want you to take me out because I want to,” you sigh “I want you to take me out because you want to”

“I promise you, I wanna take you out. I will pick you up at 7pm, Saturday, if you’d like that?” He promises, his promises now meant nothing to you, but you atleast hoped he meant it this time.

“I’d like that.” You smiled at him

When Saturday finally came, you just prayed he wouldn’t cancel on you once again, it was now 5:30pm you started to do your hair, make up, and finally clothes.

You wore a tube top short summer dress in yellow (lol sorry if you don’t like, I thought it was cute asf) you wanted to look good.

When you got ready it was already 6:50pm, he said he’d be there at 7pm so, you didn’t worry at first. When it came to 7:10pm, you decided to text him, because if he isn’t taking me serious and always late, what’s the point of anything?

Neeeko 🤭💗

Where are you?

Are you coming to pick me up?

7:11pm

Yes, soon.

7:20pm

When?

You’re already 20 minutes late..

7:21pm

I know. Something just came up.

7:22pm

What came up so suddenly?

7:22pm

Niko, do you even take me seriously?

7:23pm

Of course I do.

Why do you think I don’t?

7:23pm

I wonder why.

7:23pm

Don’t be like that please.

We’ll talk once I get home.

7:26pm

I left him on read, he’s literally not taking me serious. I don’t even wanna see him anymore, he promised to take me out, he lied once again. I don’t even wanna know what he’s been doing that he comes home so late.

If he thinks that coming home late is normal and not even telling me why he’s been doing it, and doesn’t even care that he has a gf waiting back home, then why am I even here?

Niko came home at 8:15pm, I already changed back into black Nike wide leg sweatpants and into a simple oversized shirt to be comfortable.

When he walked into the living room and saw me into sweatpants, he questioned “didn’t you wanna go out?”

“Before yes. Now? I don’t want to.”

“Why?” He asks, he even had the audacity to ask.

“I don’t know. Maybe you wanna go and take out the people you’ve been hanging out with since you’ve been coming home so late always.” I say out of pettiness.

“What’s this all about?” He asks, “I’ve been busy with the beta squad.”

“Oh and you were so busy today, when you promised to take me out. And exactly today you also had to be late?”

“I’m here now. I still have the reservation.”

“You can stick the reservation up you ass,” I argued, “I don’t wanna go out with you anymore.”

“Come on,” he says, coming over to me “I’m sorry I came home so late.”

“A sorry isn’t gonna change anything.” You said, he came over trying to hug you, “Niko, don’t touch me.”

You went over to your computer searching in, Britishairways.com going to look for the soonest flight to Brasilia, back home.

“What are you doing?” Niko asks seeing that you’re searching for a flight to Brazil. Niko has been to Brazil with you to meet your family.

“I think it’s gonna be better for now.” You say, booking the ticket, the soonest one was at 10:20pm, which meant you had almost 2 hours more. You called an uber so you won’t miss the flight.

“What do you mean better?” He asks following you to y’all’s bedroom where you started packing everything you needed for the time you’re gonna be away. “Running away from our problem isn’t the answer.”

“It isn’t. But we need a break from each other. I’ll be back in 2 or 3 weeks, I don’t see us going forward right now.”

“I’m really sorry Y/N. I wanna fix this.”

“You should’ve thought about this, when I gave you signs that you coming home late is bothering me.” You said getting up closing the luggage.

He helped you carry the luggage down, “I promise once you get back, I’ll fix this..” you didn’t even know if you could trust him on this one, he’s promised so many times and that meant nothing. But if he really wants us to work out, he’ll keep his promise.

“That’s fine.”

“I love you Y/n, tell me if you need anything.”

[chaoticbardlady99]

Racing for Time (2)

(LADS x MCs x Pokemon +Mystery Dungeon)

Synopsis: Caleb, Zayne, and Maisie become the bane of Xavier's existence. Viper and Professor Lucius finally have a break in their research to destroy all Pokemon once and for all.

CW: Mentions of some violence due to medical support

Author Note: This is NOT a Poly fic- each boy will eventually meet their own love interest (or fall in love with each other idk).

Chapter 1 : Chapter 3

*Also on AO3, but my Tumblr is being Cacaw and wont let me insert an inline text for it

(Chapter Two- The Inconveniences of the Human Condition)

Disaster struck so quickly that Maisie barely had a moment to digest what was happening before it happened. 

 Her, Caleb, and Zayne had run into a particularly difficult group of Pokemon. Actually- it wasn’t that they were particularly difficult, it was just that something was wrong with them. They had crystals growing out of them, the smell of rot coming from their bodies, and they were coming out of the glowing red light. 

  Maisie was certain they were going to die- Caleb had been hit pretty hard by something resembling a Doduo and her and Zayne were running out of gas pretty quick. They also only had so many Oran Berries and so many directions to run in. 

 In a last ditch effort- Caleb had grabbed Maisie by the scruff and Zayne by the flipper and ran straight into the blinding light. All three of them went hurtling through it- screaming, mind you- and Maisie felt like she did that first day she landed on the beach. 

 The blinding light from the sun is the first thing she becomes aware of- she can barely see and she attempts to protect herself from the light by covering her face with her hands. 

 That’s bet- WAIT A SECOND!

 Maisie sits up a little faster than she should have- a wave of nausea lays her back out on the sand and-

“I’m human again,” she whispers, her body is dressed in some kind of uniform, “but if I’m human again-“

 No. 

 In spite of how horrid she feels, Maisie makes herself get up. She looks around the beach- not seeing anyone near her or any Pokemon around. 

 She pushes herself upright, voice hoarse, “Zayne! Caleb!”

 The sound of the ocean fills her ears with white noise and dread.

“ZAYNE!” She screams, “CALEB!”

 Nothing. 

 Tears begin to flood her eyes, a knot forms in her throat, and she’s kicking herself. She knew they shouldn’t have gone! Now she has no way of getting back and-

 I didn’t get to tell them how much they mean to me, she falls to her knees with a choked sob, we didn’t get to go on one last successful adventure. 

 Team Goldrush is officially over and this time, the universe couldn’t even provide her the favor of forgetting her time with them. 

 All the fun, the laughs, the close calls, the nights huddled together when saving the world felt too scary and big for three little Pokemon. It’s all gone now. She’s all alone- again. 

“Dumb boys,” she shakes her head, laughing through her tears, “I hope they are okay.”

 She really can’t bring herself to move though- she feels stuck to the ground.

 Until she isn’t.

 Maisie is tackled and rolled through the sand by a form much larger than her own and smells like boy. 

“Maisie!” A familiar voice yells with joy, “we thought you may have been dropped into the ocean!”

 When she pulls away from her attacker- she is surprised to find not one, but two dark haired men looking at her. They have to be in their 20s and the one speaking to her- hugging her- has the prettiest purple eyes she has ever seen. They are hypnotizing and wow… this person is so pretty. He’s dressed in a pair of baggy jeans and tank top- shaggy hair ruffled by the wind. 

 The other person looks more put together in his all black attire- his features are sharp and artistic, all edges and straight lines. His eyes are an equally beautiful hazel and his cheeks turn a fierce pink color when she meets his gaze- the stranger looks away almost immediately. 

 “Oh no,” the person frowns, “she doesn’t remember us again- Zayne, you have any good ideas-“

 The initial shock wears off and she tackles Caleb and then pulls Zayne down into the hug, holding them both as tightly as she possibly can. 

“I thought I lost you both!” She wails, “Caleb- never do something that foolish again- you- you!” 

 She starts to give Caleb the noogie of a century- knuckles rubbing deep into his scalp in hopes to massage an ounce of common sense into him. Anything to prevent him from dragging them all to their doom or another world again!

“You smell,” Caleb crinkles his nose at her, “gross.”

“Oh and you smell like a spring garden? You could knock out an opponent with your breath alone.” 

 Zayne shakes his head with a chuckle. Not even two minutes ago Maisie was crying because she thought she lost them and now her and Caleb are back to their usual bickering. At least some things never change and honestly, Zayne isn’t loving the way he smells either. Being a human has so far proven to be incredibly inconvenient. 

 Not to mention, everytime he looks at Maisie he feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest. Her fluffy coat is replaced with long, wavy hair. Her bright orange eyes are so captivating that they make his existence feel warm and when she hugged him, he thought he was on cloud nine and he really didn’t mind the way she smelled.

 Inconvenient, he thinks, this is nothing but a response to a new environment and a new world. It’s not like talking to Caleb has been any less awkward.

 Granted, he isn’t turning a different shade when he looks and talks to Caleb. Well, at least not a pink shade.

“First things, first,” Maisie pops up, brushing off the sand from her uniform, “we need to find shelter, then a bath, and then, ideally, food.” 

 Zayne nods in agreement and Caleb looks around their environment- occasionally tapping his chin. His head tilts as something comes into view from the distance. 

“That looks like a building over there-“ he points to a house in the distance, “maybe someone could help us?” 

 Maisie squints and just barely sees the green roof in the distance. There is a plume of smoke from the chimney and the slight smell of food- maybe they’ll have a shower they can use. 

“Alright- it’s settled then,” she begins to awkwardly march forward, it feels awkward to walk with two feet after all this time, “to the mystery building we go!” 

 The walk is less than promising- both men smack their heads against tree branches or whip her in the face with low ones. They ran into a hoard of Beedrill (one stung her when she fell and didn’t get up in time, now she’s riding piggy back- borderline choking Caleb out) and they lost sight of the cabin. 

 It’s getting dark- the sun is beginning to set and the forest seems to be coming alive. They’ve avoided going into the tall grass out of fear of invoking whatever lies within- without any real way to defend themselves, they aren’t sure they would even actually stay alive if they tried to fight off what was once their fellow Pokemon.

“I think we need to stop to rest,” Zayne stops, frowning at the bruised sky, “it’s almost night time. We need to try to find somewhere we can rest without being disturbed and the smoke from the cabin is still far away.”

 Maisie and Caleb nod in tired agreement. He helps her down against a tree, her leg still painful and sore, the stinger is still stuck and she is feeling woozier and woozier by the second. 

 “Here,” Zayne hands her a pink berry, “it’s a pecha berry. It will keep get rid of the poison and you’ll begin to feel better.

“I need to remove the stinger,” Zayne’s hands hover above the injection site on the outside of her left thigh, “is it alright with you if I touch you?”

 Maisie blinks a couple times. Zayne didn’t usually ask before, he would just… do. 

“Of course you can,” she smiles weakly and contradictingly bright at her friend,  “you know you don’t need to ask- I trust you.” 

“Yes but… it just feels different now.”

 She hums- it has been a crazy day and they are very different in build now. She’s probably not nearly as tough skinned as she once was.

“Wait to eat the Pecha Berry,” Zayne turns to Caleb, “come and hold her hand.”

 Caleb immediately listens, sitting closely to Maisie who looks worried. 

“Hold my hand?” She tilts her head, “why would he need to hold my hand?”

“Don’t worry, Pips,” Caleb reassures her, “I’m sure you’re fine- this is probably just going to kind of suck.” 

“What do you- AHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 Caleb screams as Maisie crushes his hand- the stinger came out, but Caleb was wrong. It did more than kinda sucked, it really sucked. 

 Maisie leans back against the tree, her face breaking out in a cold sweat and a wave of nausea washing over her. She barely keeps the Pecha berry down, but the world is spinning. 

 Words sound like they are underwater as sleep pulls her in- the pain is almost intolerable right now. She used to take full attacks- sometimes even fireballs! How is this exhausting for her!?

 Because you’re a flimsy human- not a Mareep. 

 Right- different body, different functions. 

 Caleb and Zayne are talking about something before her previously bright blue friend is in front of her with his eye panicked. 

“Ma-“ his voice cuts in and out of consciousness, - ay aww- sta- w-“

 Before she can ask him to say it again, darkness claws itself into her eyes and ears.

 Caleb has never seen Zayne lose his marbles quite this much before, but if the marbles were real, they would be everywhere. 

 Caleb watches as Zayne tries to wake up Maisie, checking for a heartbeat and pulse, opening her eyes- until he finally seems to feel the slightest bit of reassurance that their friend isn’t dead. The hazel eyed man puts his head in between her hair and shoulder- inhaling deeply. His body relaxes and he tries to make her more comfortable- laying her in recovery position before he walks off to find some firewood, asking Caleb to keep watch. 

 The closeness Zayne shared with Maisie makes something in Caleb tick- not in a good way either. In fact, he feels an emotion like the color neon green and a bad berry that’s been left out in the sun for too long. However, he also feels very worried for his distressed friend. It’s not easy for any of them to be out of commission and it’s a tight knit group. 

 Not to mention- Caleb (usually) is a Riolu! A force to be reckoned with! A leader and fighter for the ages! He said he would stay by Maisie’s side that day on the beach and he still means it now. 

 Gathering his awkwardly long limbs off the forest floor, he sits next to Maisie awkwardly, unsure of how to interact with her now that they are all people and not Pokemon. Her brow is furrowed and he knows she��s probably having another nightmare. 

 Slowly, hesitantly, Caleb holds one of her hands that is haphazardly sprawled out.  

 It will be okay. They have each other.

“We’ll find a way back home or a way to live here, Maisie,” he nods, more so reassuring himself than her sleeping form, “I promise.” 

                  *******************************

 Xavier doesn’t care to travel too far from his home where his mother and his sick little sister lives, but the scream coming from the woods was too alarming for him not to investigate. If there is danger nearby, he needs to nip it in the bud as soon as possible. 

 Ampharos lights the way with his tail- the Pokemon keeps an eye on the bushes and grass while Xavier focuses on looking higher. Starly is flying above the trees, looking for the source of the sound. 

 A cry from Starly alerts him to the source of the sound and he quickly runs in the direction, Ampharos not far behind. Xavier is mentally preparing for a battle- Ever has been on the rise lately and they’ve been causing nothing but trouble in the area. Contorted, weary Pokemon have come to his door for help and he has a barn’s worth of wild Pokemon seeking refuge while Ever lurks about. 

 Maybe, just maybe, he can get rid of the problem once and for all- if the scream is Ever related, that is. If not, well, these people shouldn’t have been trespassing on his property.

 It doesn’t take long to find the individuals- the two mens are hunched over a bunch of sticks and seem to be arguing amongst themselves and a woman with the pinkest hair he has ever seen is asleep nearby. 

 Xavier is quick to notice a couple things about these people- one, they don’t necessarily smell all that great and the blowing wind isn’t helping. Two, they obviously do not know how to start a fire, and three, they are definitely not with Ever. 

“Surely we can figure this out,” the purple eyed one says, “we have to- I’m freezing!”

“You’re actually just cold, not freezing,” corrects the other dark haired man, “you will be freezing if we can’t figure this out.”

“Well, then figure it out Mr. Smarty Pants!”

“Can’t you see that I’m trying!?” He exclaims, “I’m a water type pokemon- not a fire type- I don’t even know how fire works!”

 Water type pokemon? Xavier’s face scrunches up in confusion, maybe they are crazy and death is the only safe option. 

“Why are you spying on us?”

 Xavier tumbles to the side- trying to avoid the voice that just addressed him. He didn’t even realize the pink haired girl had snuck up on him until his vision was assaulted with the color itself. 

 Her hands are on her hips and she wears a uniform with an emblem that scratches the surface of his mind, but barely. She can’t be much younger than he is- probably 24- but he is mostly in awe of her bright, brilliantly shining orange eyes. Until she points a rather large and sharpened stick at his face.

“Why are you being a weirdo, weirdo?”

 His mouth drops open, “weirdo? I’m not the one hanging out with the people saying they are pokemon.”

 She genuinely looked offended before bonking him upside the head with the stick- not enough to leave a bump, but definitely enough to make him sore.

“Hey! What was that for!?’

“We are Pokemon,” she frowns and begins to lift the stick for another hit, “well those two are, I’m not really but I was for a while.”

  The two men in question poke their heads around the tree- eyeing the newcomer suspiciously and his Ampharos. Xavier has really done it this time- he just had to poke the proverbial weird Ursaring. 

“I-uh- ha,” he scratches the back of his head, getting up while slowly pushing the stick out of his, “I don’t want any trouble. I live locally and heard someone scream-”

“Wait!” she says suddenly, flinging the stick to the side- looking rather excited, “do you have a shower!?”

“I… I do have a shower, yes.”

“And soap!?” her eyes are sparkling likes gems, “like the kind that can make him,” she points at the purple eyed man, “smell better!?”

“Hey!”

“I do- it would be kind of weird to have a bathroom without soap.”

 Pink hair goes flying around the air in a happy flurry as she jumps up and down in excitement. Before she can ask any more odd and kind of bizarre questions- the more rational of the three beats her to it.

“Do you live in the house with smoke coming out of it?” the man in all black says while pointing in the direction of Xavier’s home.

“Uh yeah.” WHY ARE YOU TELLING THEM THIS!?

“Then it’s settled,” the purple eyed one says with a final clap of his hands, “we’re going home with you!”

 Xavier sputters, the woman takes his hand and shakes it aggressively, “My name is Maisie- the stinky guy is Caleb and the smart looking one is Zayne.”

“I do not SMELL THAT BAD!”

 Xavier avoids eye contact with Caleb who is obviously looking to be defended.

“DO I REALLY SMELL THAT BAD!?”

“You won’t here shortly!” Maisie says happily, grabbing Xavier’s wrist and pulling him the direction of the smoke, “to shelter, Shower Man!”

 What did he just sign himself up for? 

                                                                 *****************

  Professor Lucius has spent a lifetime researching Pokemon- trying to find ways to optimize their powers, extract them, combine them with humans so humans can be the weapons instead- anything to give them advantage over a world that could kill them at any given time.

 It’s become an obsession of his- empowering humans so that Pokemon can be wiped out and humans are no longer at the mercy of their ‘Gods’. You could say it began when his mother was killed by an Ursaring or when he spent his youth never being an exceptional trainer and only an afterthought- but the goal is still the same regardless.

 Lucius will be this world’s new God- raging regicide amongst the mythical Pokemon that are determined to keep humans from getting ahead and genocide amongst their little, more fragile creations. 

 Everyone thinks he’s crazy minus the others who are passionate about eradicating the world of this nonsense. Everyone says it can’t be done, but he is determined and although he has yet to find a solution, his hope refuses to dim and he is not beyond using even the most outdated research.

 Which leads us to attempt 285- a Tear in Time and Space. It wasn’t actually supposed to be a Tear- it was supposed to be an open and shut vacuum sorta thing, but then five of his researchers were slurped up into the angry void, never to be seen again. 

 He had hoped that the discovery may be fruitful considering what it did to his team, but alas, nothing fruitful or worth reporting has come from this attempt. The colors would change periodically- flashy purples, blues, pinks, but nothing has come stumbling out of the portal and there are no anomalies being detected around the facility.

 He’s been troubleshooting all afternoon- trying different formulas, angles, times, and energy signatures. 

 Nada- consistent disappointment. He has half a mind to throw himself into the Tear just to see something happen.

 “Professor Lucius?”

 He is viciously snapped from his thoughts- a jolt of fear going through him from the unexpected company. What could anyone possibly want now?

 “What?” he spat, eye twitching in irritation, “can’t you see I’m in the middle of something important?”            

 The Team Ever Grunt chuckles nervously, “Viper-”

“Viper was told not to disturb me,” Lucius says without giving the Grunt a chance to finish speaking, “unless this has to do with the-”

“Tear in space and time?” the annoying, nasally voice of his Green Haired research partner comes ringing from behind him, “don’t worry. I listened.” 

 Lucius may very well stroke out- Viper says he listens, but then he brings him hypothetical fucking nonsense like these “Time Gears” he has been so keen on discovering and utilizing so that humans can achieve immortality. Lucius, on the other hand, is a skeptic. Time Gears are myths, a fairytale, and Lucius does not have time to waste on fairy tales.

  He turns on his heels and is met with a pile of people he hasn’t met before. One man has blue hair and purple eyes with sharp canines- he looks dazed- another is a man with a thick head of hair that is as purple as the other’s eyes, and the final one almost looks like he has jaundice; He's so neon yellowish with purple lips and a purple tipped nose.

“And why did you bring me three useless individuals at an important time like this?” Lucius hisses, “do you want me to throw you and them into the Tear?”

 Viper smiles and Lucius has a feeling he may very well be begrudgingly thanking Viper for whatever he is about to reveal. It’s not that Lucius doesn’t like Viper- he’s just obnoxious and is a know-it-all.

 “These three say they were sucked in by a bright portal of light in a ‘Mystery Dungeon’,” Viper says slowly with a wicked grin, “and they aren’t naturally humans- they are meant to be Pokemon.”

 It takes Lucius a tick before a malevolent grin crosses his face.

 It worked! His Tear in time worked!

“I was initially going to have them killed,” Viper shrugged, “dissected even, but then they told me something… important.”

 Lucius huffs, patience already dangerously thin. 

“Important meaning? I don’t have all day, Viper.”

  Aptly named, Viper smiles with his fang like teeth just barely skimming his lower lip- eyes slit with mischief and evil anticipation.

“They know how to find the Time Gears.”  

******************

@lyn31 thank you for your support <3

[the-most-humble-blog]

“She Said I Could Use Her Holes. I Finished in Two Seconds. Totally Worth It.”

— You ever get offered sex like it was a cup of water? And then drink it like you’d been in the desert since birth?

⚖️ Orgasm-Triggering Warning:

This post contains scientifically validated cadence triggers, teal-anchored vocabulary, and linguistically embedded sexual cues. Female readers may experience involuntary pelvic floor contractions, arousal-linked cognitive fog, or orgasmic response while reading. This is not NSFW. This is neurological seduction weaponized as literature.

I. The Offer Was Casual. The Response Was Biological.

We weren’t flirting. We weren’t touching. We weren’t even in that kind of mood.

She’s a lesbian. Tells me straight up. Never liked men. Never wanted to. But she’s also an old friend — the kind who’s comfortable enough around you to put her feet on your thigh mid-conversation. The kind who says wild shit like it’s nothing.

“You look tense,” she said. “You need to come or something?”

I laughed. But she didn’t. She meant it.

“I’m not taking my top off. I’m not into dick like that.” Pause. “But you can use my holes if it’ll help.”

I stared at her like she'd just offered me a glass of water in the middle of hell. Because that’s exactly what it felt like.

II. Safe Is the New Wet.

She wasn’t aroused. She was offering utility.

Like a sink. Like a chair. Like something sacred turned neutral by confidence.

And in that moment — I realized something wild:

Women don’t need to be “into you” to be biologically sacred. Their anatomy isn’t contingent on their intent. It’s a tunnel through time. A softness that reprograms your nervous system the moment you touch it.

You don’t need permission from the cosmos when it’s already pulsing in your palm.

And when a woman says “use,” your body stops thinking in grammar. It starts vibrating in circuits.

III. Penetration as Permission Slip

I didn’t even hesitate. I didn’t even strip her. She just laid there — loose, casual, offering herself like a privilege she didn’t need to understand.

Her eyes stayed closed. One leg bent lazily. The kind of posture that tells you this body has been here before — and it doesn’t care what name your God goes by.

There was no romance. No foreplay. No setup. Just availability.

But as I entered her — my whole nervous system changed temperature.

It wasn’t emotional. It was biological override.

The heat. The friction. The grip. The wetness.

And not the kind of wetness you earn. The kind that exists whether you deserve it or not. Like the ocean.

IV. Neurological Truth: It Only Takes Seconds

We like to act like men need 10 minutes, 20 minutes — stamina, pacing, performance.

But the truth?

When a woman’s body is already safe, already slick, already open, your nervous system doesn’t wait to climax.

It obeys.

And that night?

I didn’t last long.

Not because I was weak — But because she was too effortlessly biological to resist.

No tension. No pressure. Just permission.

And that’s when it hit me:

The moment a man feels safe enough to enter without performance, he finishes fast. Because fast doesn’t mean failure. Fast means real.

V. Teal Word Activation: Grip. Squeeze. Melt. Pulse.

Let’s talk science. Every one of the following words has been shown to trigger subconscious physiological response in biologically female readers, especially when wrapped in emotional safety or dominant tone:

Grip (activates vaginal anticipation reflex)

Melt (triggers oxytocin-linked softening)

Squeeze (activates pelvic floor memory)

Pulse (entrains heartbeat and mirror neurons)

These aren’t buzzwords. They’re neurological commands written in wet ink.

When I say:

Her grip was too perfect. She pulsed around me without realizing it. And then she squeezed — just once — like a subconscious hug that made my spine forget my name…

You don’t just read it. You feel it.

That’s not fiction. That’s mirror neuron targeting.

And when a woman reads that?

She may clench. She may twitch. She may orgasm without realizing it was the words that did it.

VI. She Wasn’t Attracted to Me. But Her Body Still Let Me In.

That’s what breaks people. That’s what breaks men.

We’re told we have to be charming, sexy, adored — or access is denied.

But she proved otherwise.

She wasn’t into me. She just liked me. Trusted me. Enough to open the door and say,

“Go ahead. Do what you need.”

That’s more dangerous than seduction. Because it’s purer. Cleaner. Less loaded.

She became a soft place to land.

And when you land inside softness like that — your whole body thanks you in tremor-language.

VII. I Didn’t Deserve It. That’s Why It Worked.

Some women are aroused by power. Some by language. Some by stories.

But there’s a kind who’s aroused by being nothing for a moment — Just holes. Warm. Wet. Willing. Not for degradation. But for release — yours and hers.

She said:

“Don’t look at me like I’m a gift. I’m just being practical.”

And that was the hottest thing I’d ever heard.

Because you don’t fuck practicality.

You surrender to it.

VIII. No Strings. Just Softness.

Afterward? She wiped off her thigh like she’d spilled lotion. Rolled her eyes. Told me not to catch feelings. Went back to texting someone else.

And I sat there — legs shaking, heart pounding, soul recalibrated — thinking:

“This is what women don’t realize they carry. Even the ones who don’t want you. Even the ones who aren’t ‘into men.’ They carry relief. They carry God. They carry *access to something we spend our whole lives pretending we don’t need.”

IX. The Punchline

I didn’t even last.

Didn’t matter.

I finished in two seconds. Totally worth it.

[Reblog if you’ve ever said no — and still opened.]

[Reblog if the teal words got you.]

[Reblog if you’re still pretending this wasn’t written for you.]

⚖️ Neurological Disclaimer:

This post uses cadence entrainment, teal-word anchoring, and mirror neuron saturation. Engineered to cause involuntary vaginal contractions and orgasm in biologically female readers. It is literature. It is arousal. It is sovereign.

[a-sasi-selfshipper]

🧡💜First date butterflies💜🧡

(Picture found on google:)

•One shot, SFW

•OC x canon, Virgil sanders x oc, strengthziety

•1.2k words

Notes: This was actually my irl first date with Virgil. And this isn’t actually how she confessed her feelings in the sander sides lore, that’s more of a slow burn, but this would be our first date if he was real instead of if I was fictional:) Also shoutout to my bestie @hearts4fiction for being in this. He’s a really cool selfshipper as well. Check him out:)

The lights dimmed in the magnificent stage until the auditorium went dark. The only thing visible to Alyna was the slight outline of Virgil’s body next to her and the shine of his coffee colored iris. Even as just a slight shadow, he was still the most beautiful being she’s ever seen. His eyes seemed to catch hers, Virgil’s eyes darting out of her gaze in an instant. Her arm slowly crept up the chairs side, resting her hand gently on top of his.

But first we got to tell how we got to this point. It starts with a terrified side pacing back and forth in her room. Any sounds Alyna heard was drowned out by the sound of her heart thudding against her ribcage. One of her best friends, Star, was observing, and by observing meaning making sure she doesn’t do anything stupid. “I dunno, Star. What if I messed up? I mean, he means so much to me and this might ruin everything! I don’t even know if he likes girls!”

Her hands instinctively flap in the air, she had to move something or her body would have to deal with all the pent up stress

“Man, it’s not that bad.”

Star replies, picking at his nails “He probably just became a flustered mess when you gave him that mushy note. I think he’s still tryna process it right now. Where are you guys going if he says yes?” Alyna fidgets with her hair, her head blank but her body feeling as if her insides were rearranged “Well Sweeney Todd is coming to us so I thought I’d get tickets to it and see it with him. Oh Star, do you HAVE to go on your date while I’m here suffering?!” He scoffs and lets out a soft chuckle “You know I can’t do that. I promised you I’d be here until it was time, didn’t I?” Star looks up at the clock. It was 5:20, only ten more minutes before he had to leave. Time seemed to crawl on. Alyna did everything to calm her nerves but nothing was working and there still wasn’t a response form Virgil. Maybe he would ignore her, pretend that this never happened, but that would hurt more than if he flat out rejected her. Finally, faint footsteps climbed up the stairs, and on instinct, Alyna’s body slipped under her bed. The suspense on what he was saying was unbearably heavy. 

But as the door creaked open, it dawned on her that isn’t wasn’t her lover at the door, but Stars.

“There you are.” Logan calls, pushing up his specs a slight bit. “I was looking for you everywhere! And-why is she under the bed?” Alyna leans on her arm, looking up at him casually as if she wasn’t scared out of her mind “Hey, Lo.” He scoffed, this wasn’t the weirdest thing he’s seen so he decides not to question it “Anyways, are you ready, babe?” Star nods, a wide grin on his face “Of course, my love.” He looks back at Alyna, the fear hidden in her eyes was like a lion trying to hide beneath a houseplant. Attempted, yet never effective. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stay for longer, I bet he’ll respond, just give him some time.” A dawn of realization washes over Logan’s facial expressions “Oh, it almost slipped my mind.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a slip of paper out of his pocket. “Virgil wanted me to give this to you, Alyna.”

Adrenaline spiked her muscles at she quickly took it, examining the folded up paper in awe “Well we better get going, Farewell.” Logan and Star walk, their arms linked together. Alyna sees Star give her an approving nod before the pair was out of sight. 

Alyna didn’t want to open it, whatever was in here, it would send her through a storm of emotions. She jerks her head away from the paper as she slowly unfolds it, smoothing out the creases in it. The content of the note were now visible, but her eyes were snapped shut, afraid of what could lie inside this seemingly harmless sheet of paper. She probably had to open it before the sweat beading from her palms gets to the paper first. Slowly, her eyes narrow open scanning the paper. The writing was make in black ink and the handwriting was a little sloppy, but readable. To her surprise, there was only one word on that paper

“Sure.”

That sounded like him. She poured all of her feeling and heart into that letter and he responds with a simple word, classic Virgil. It took a second for her to realize, but that was a yes. She pacing faster around her room, bouncing against the walls happily. He liked her? The thought was almost hard to believe. That one word was all she could think about at dinner, all she could think about while getting ready for bed, and all she could dream about when she fell asleep.

And now, like the world had flashed by, she was standing awkwardly at the entrance of the auditorium, wearing a fuzzy orange cardigan over her regular tank top with long, formal pants instead of her shorts. She was holding a small, purple, hyacinth in her hand. She fidgeted with the delicate petals, making sure none of them break. She wondering if Virgil was lying, if this was just to give her false confidence. All of those thoughts were completely shattered when she felt a shadow looming over her.

She looked up to see him. He was wearing a black leather jacket and a skirt that complemented his eyeshadow. “Oh! Virgil! You look…” she took a second to process how he looked “Absolutely beautiful…” His eyes darted from hers “That’s an overstatement! but….you look nice too…” she pulled on the collar of her tank top nervously and handing him the flower “For me?” He said, raising an eyebrow “You got good taste. Thanks.” He smirked, the same smirk that could make her pass out then and there “Let’s go in, idiot. Don’t want to be late for the show.” “Y-yea, cmon..”

The cool breeze from inside blew against them as they waited in line to get in. She had a million questions to ask him, but she didn’t have the voice to say them “Thank you for coming with me. I didn’t think you said yes.” She muttered out. Virgil turned to her, a softer look in his eyes. “Don’t mention it. I’m glad you asked me.” Their hands were only a few centimeters from touching and she had to fight the overwhelming urge to just take it as her own. But she couldn’t, her nerves left her movements frozen.

The two sat down in there seats. His hand resting on the armrest was just too irresistible. She couldn’t help glancing back at it from time to time, until darkness slipped through the room and she took the chance to place her hand on top of his, as the show started. Her shoulder felt unusually heavy and she realized it was Virgil’s head that was weighing it down. Alyna couldn’t believe he let her initiate contact, let alone show some himself. Throughout the show, they found comfort in each others presence and the gruesome, bloody scenes on stage. “We need to do this more often…” she whispered through the sounds of the ballad-like music. “I think so too.”

[beljar]

Van Gogh's Letters

[To Theo van Gogh. Arles, 20 May 1888]

We no longer rebel against things, we’re not resigned either — we’re ill and it’s not going to get any better — and we can’t do anything specific about it. I don’t know who called this condition being struck by death and immortality. The cab we drag along must be of use to people we don’t know. But you see, if we believe in the new art, in the artists of the future, our presentiment doesn’t deceive us. When good père Corot said a few days before he died: last night I saw in my dreams landscapes with entirely pink skies, well, didn’t they come, those pink skies, and yellow and green into the bargain, in Impressionist landscapes? All this is to say there are things one senses in the future and that really come about.

And we, who, I’m inclined to believe, are by no means so close to dying, nevertheless feel the thing is bigger than us and longer-lasting than our lives.

We don’t feel we’re dying, but we feel the reality of the fact that we’re not much, and that to be a link in the chain of artists we pay a steep price in health, youth, freedom, which we don’t enjoy at all, any more than the cab-horse that pulls a carriage full of people who, unlike him, are going out to enjoy the springtime. Well then — what I wish you as well as myself is to succeed in recovering our health, because we’ll need it. That Hope of Puvis de Chavannes is such a reality. There’s an art in the future and it will surely be so beautiful and so young that, really, if at present we leave it our own youth, we can only gain in tranquillity. Perhaps it’s too silly to write all this, but it’s what I felt; it seemed that like me, you suffered to see your youth going up in — smoke — but if it comes back and appears in what we do, there’s nothing lost, and the power to work is a second youth. So be serious about getting better, because we’ll need our health. I shake your hand firmly, and Koning’s too.

Ever yours,

Vincent

[To Emile Bernard. Arles, Sunday, 18 March 1888]

My dear Bernard,

Having promised to write to you, I want to begin by telling you that this part of the world seems to me as beautiful as Japan for the clearness of the atmosphere and the gay colour effects. The stretches of water make patches of a beautiful emerald and a rich blue in the landscapes, as we see it in the Japanese prints. Pale orange sunsets making the fields look blue – glorious yellow suns. However, so far I’ve hardly seen this part of the world in its usual summer splendour. The women’s costume is pretty, and especially on the boulevard on Sunday you see some very naive and well-chosen arrangements of colour. And that, too, will doubtless get even livelier in summer.

I regret that living here isn’t as cheap as I’d hoped, and until now I haven’t found a way of getting by as easily as one could do in Pont-Aven. I started out paying francs and now I’m on francs a day. One would need to know the local patois, and know how to eat bouillabaisse and aïoli, then one would surely find an inexpensive family boarding-house. Then if there were several of us, I’m inclined to believe we’d get more favourable terms. Perhaps there’d be a real advantage in emigrating to the south for many artists in love with sunshine and colour. The Japanese may not be making progress in their country, but there’s no doubt that their art is being carried on in France. At the top of this letter I’m sending you a little croquis of a study that’s preoccupying me as to how to make something of it – sailors coming back with their sweethearts towards the town, which projects the strange silhouette of its drawbridge against a huge yellow sun.

[To Theo van Gogh. Arles, Friday, 4 January 1889]

My dear brother

I hope that Gauguin will also completely reassure you a little regarding painting matters. I expect to start work again soon. The charwoman and my friend Roulin had taken care of the house, put everything in good order.

When I come out I’ll be able to continue on my way here again, and soon the fine days will come and I’ll start on the orchards in blossom again.

I am, my dear brother, so heartbroken by your journey, I would have wished that you’d been spared that, for all in all no harm has come to me, and it wasn’t worth troubling you.

I can’t tell you how much it delights me that you’ve made peace and even more than that with the Bongers. Say so on my behalf to André, and give him a very cordial handshake from me.

What wouldn’t I have given for you to see Arles in fine weather, now you have seen it when it’s dark. However, be of good heart, send the letters directly to me, place Lamartine. I’ll send Gauguin the paintings of his that are still at the house as soon as he wishes. We owe him the money he spent on the furniture.

Ever yours,

Vincent

[To Theo van Gogh, The Hague, 11 July 1883]

My aim is to do a drawing that not exactly everyone will understand, the figure expressed in its essence in simplified form, with deliberate disregard of those details that aren’t part of the true character and are merely accidental. Thus it shouldn’t, for example, be the portrait of Pa but rather the type of a poor village pastor going to visit a sick person. The same with the couple arm in arm by the beech hedge — the type of a man and woman who have grown old together and in whom love and loyalty have remained, rather than portraits of Pa and Ma, although I hope they’ll pose for it. But they must know that it’s serious, which they might not see for themselves if the likeness isn’t exact.

And should be a bit prepared, in the event that this happens, for having to pose as I say and not change anything. Well, that will be all right, and I don’t work so slowly as to make it a great effort for them. And for my part I would greatly value doing it. Simplifying the figures is something that very much preoccupies me. Anyway, you’ll see some for yourself among the figures I’ll show you. If I went to Brabant, it should certainly not be an excursion or pleasure trip, it seems to me, but a short period of very hard work at lightning speed. Speaking of expression in a figure, I’m becoming more and more persuaded that it lies not so much in the features as in the whole manner. I find few things as horrible as most academic facial expressions. I would rather look at ‘Night’ by Michelangelo, or a drunk by Daumier, or The diggers by Millet, and that large woodcut by him, The shepherdess. Or at an old horse by Mauve &c.

The Letters of Vincent Van Gogh by Vincent Van Gogh // Still Life of Oranges and Lemons with Blue Gloves, 1889 by Vincent van Gogh // The Night Cafe by Vincent van Gogh // The Cafe Terrace on the Place du Forum, Arles, at Night, c.1888 by Vincent van Gogh // Still Life, Vase With Fifteen Sunflowers by Vincent van Gogh // van Gogh's Orchard in Blossom (Plum Trees) // Letter from Vincent Van Gogh to His Brother Theo

Franz Kafka's Letters to Milena

[abstractredd]

AO3 Twenty Questions

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 17 wowzers

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 269,878. (but honestly that’s not super updated because oMaM is like… twice as long as what i have published on there lol. this also doesn’t include my older fics from Fanfiction.net and Wattpad which would easily give me another 150k)

3. what fandoms do you write for? mainly elder scrolls at the moment

4. what are your top five fics by kudos? (oh lord the bnha fics SHAKSJD)

5. do you respond to comments? i try to, always! i don’t think there’s many i haven’t responded to and if i haven’t it’s usually because it’s a friend of mine and i’ve already messaged them here or on discord LOL

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending not any of them really?? i’m a Happily Ever After kinda person. i mean i have one fic that’s a scene rewrite from Your Lie in April but it doesn’t actually change the canon outcome of the show which if you’ve seen it you’ll know it’s pretty “angsty” but i feel like that doesn’t count because i didn’t write that yknow

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? as previously established i’m a big fan of HEAs. literally all of them lol. although bad habit certainly has a pretty cheesy ending

8. do you get hate on fics? i have but that was way before my ao3 days. i honestly can’t recall if any of my ao3 fics have gotten hate? people are pretty chill on there in my experience. Fanfiction.net is a whole other animal though

9. do you write smut? if so what kind? oh absolutely. i’m a sexually active adult and i tend to both read and write about sexually active adults so i feel like there’s really no surprise there

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written? i have before but i’m not really a fan of them now, reading or writing. i wrote a superwholock fic in like, 2016, and that’s about it hahaha

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? no? is that a thing that happens?

12. have you ever had a fic translated? not on ao3 but one of my fics got translated to Italian by a fan on Wattpad once that was pretty cool

13. have you ever co-written a fic? yessir! me and my sibling in hadlof @plutoprophecy / @midnightfangz wrote one together: here

14. what’s your all time favorite ship? my OTP you mean. cmon let’s call it what it is. it’s patrochilles btw

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Go to Bed Dumbass. i stated writing it when i wasn’t in a good place mentally and i can’t even look back on it without getting bad memories. also i just had no idea where i was going with the plot. and i’m not in the bnha fandom anymore lol. i hate having unfinished fics on my page and have literally gone back to update years-old fics before but not this one.

16. what are your writing strengths? i like to think my prose is complicated enough to sound professional but not so over the top that my writing isn’t easily digestible. i feel like i can write dialogue pretty well too

17. what are your writing weaknesses? i feel like i have a problem with repeating myself lol. like i use the same conjunctions a lot. and i struggle with action/fight sequences but i feel like i’m getting better at those the more i write them (i didn’t write them at all really until i started writing TES fics)

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i mean. i feel like this is so situational. if the dialogue is crucial to the plot and it’s going to be a chore to make the average reader look up what it is? i don’t really care for it. but if it’s something off handed that doesn’t really change the plot or is more of a funny joke that a reader can get by either A) happening to speak the language or B) going out of their way to look it up and in that situation it’s more of a fun little bonus and not needed for them to understand the story beat that it’s a part of.

19. first fandom you wrote for? one piece. in 2013. lol

20. favorite fic you’ve written? i really really like somewhere the light won’t reach us. it’s a character study of a TES oc so it’s honestly closer to an original work than it is a fanfiction but i think it turned out really nice. i also think liebesfreud is a really good story and i'm in the process of making it into an original novel (with different character names obv)

not tagging anyone cuz im lazy but if you wanna do this go for it weeee

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

Things have been kinda rough this month. After the shitshow that was last December, I promised myself that I was going to do things differently this year because I do not want to end up at urgent care after another panic attack/nervous breakdown, and at first it seemed like it was working, but then things got…ungood. I don’t know if it’s because the holidays are always stressful, or if it’s because of Mercury Rx, or if it’s just my fucked up brain… But in any case, all my recurring issues came back to haunt me.

Old griefs are resurfacing, and I’m constantly on the verge of tears. I’m broke as hell; I’ve been busting my ass with day job and side-hustle stuff to try and make sure the kiddos have a good Christmas (+ C.’s birthday four days prior!), but I’m still not sure if I’ll be able to get everything that’s on their lists. And it’s my birthday month, too, and I want to be able to enjoy it! Speaking of being broke, we once again had ten days between when last month’s food money ran out and this month’s came in, so I had to spend money I’d set aside for Xmas gifts on food. I’m super stressed out about all of it, which makes the kids stressed out, and then I snap at them and feel even worse. I have a bunch of writing-related deadlines I’m way way behind on. Partly because, while some of them are potential money-making ventures, they are not as immediately lucrative as the day job/side-hustle stuff, and I have to focus on the things that are bringing in money now, not later. But also partly because, even when I do get a few minutes to write, I’m usually so stressed out and exhausted that my brain isn’t functioning well enough to get the words out. On top of all that, P. and I have mostly been too stressed and exhausted to enjoy our time together after the kids are in bed—I don’t just mean sexually, I mean in any way; we’re usually too tired to even put on a movie and snuggle. And on top of all that, I jacked my back at the beginning of last week, and I’ve been having terrible pre/menstrual cramps, so I’ve been in a lot of physical pain on-and-off. Oh, and I have some irritation in my vulva that makes me feel like I have to pee all the time—it’s not a UTI, thankfully, but it’s annoying. And I put up a pinned post on my main blog about my current situation to try and get some more $$ coming in, but it hasn’t been getting much traction. I’ve also been trying to rest and relax here and there, so that I don’t completely burn out and have another nervous breakdown, but I feel guilty for relaxing when I could either be earning money or catching up on the writing I’m behind on. Basically, I feel guilty about everything right now—guilty for being broke, guilty for being behind on everything, guilty for being stressed, guilty for my stress making my kids stressed. Ugh.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, on to some good things—or at least, things that are more interesting than just whinging about my life.

Thanksgiving was okay. My parents bickered, as usual, but there were no big blowout fights like there have been in past years. I got a text message from my Filia, saying: Happy Thanksgiving Day to my beautiful friend. :) are you and the fam enjoying time together today? i hope so. Today i am grateful for all of the memories i have with you. not a day goes by that something doesn’t trigger a thought :) i hope we can make some more… i love you and i miss you. I teared up because it is so much the same on my end. Though I haven’t seen her in nearly 15 years, over the first 20 years we knew each other we created so many memories together that, well, everything reminds me of her. And I miss her every day, but at least now we chat via text occasionally, and send each other stuff in the mail sometimes; not like all those times in the past when she didn’t even communicate with me.

And then on our drive home, it started to snow, and The Replacements’ “Unsatisfied” came on the radio and it was all so sad and beautiful, missing my oldest friend while the snow fell softly on all the sleepy houses and Paul Westerberg yowled I’m so, I’m so, unsatisfied. Are you satisfied?

A couple days after that, we got a $25 gift card from the grocery store we do most of our shopping at, for being such good customers. It was enough for a couple days worth of meal ingredients, and helped get us through a little bit of our time without food money. And that night, I made a small batch of wassail because I had all the ingredients on hand, and made cocoa for the kids, and we spent the last night of November drinking tasty hot drinks and watching a Christmas movie.

The first couple days of December were pretty good. I put up the advent elf (which we’ve had for years but don’t use every year). Each day, I put in a note with a Christmas or seasonal-related activity the kids can do, plus a small surprise like a tiny toy or trinket (I pick up little things like that whenever I can, so I had a stash ready to go), or a quarter they can add to their piggy banks. Their first activity was to go through their toys and books to find some that were still in good condition but that they no longer wanted, to donate, and they did that happily. And we started putting up the Christmas decorations; got the tree up and the lights on it on the first, put the ornaments on it on the second.

On the fourth, I got really sad and anxious, because the next day was mammogram, part two, where they had to do more imagining on my right boob and find out if the asymmetry was something Bad or not. I was reasonably certain that it was going to turn out fine, but I was still a little scared, you know? But on the morning of the fifth, I went to my appointment, and after taking just a few more images of that side of my chest, they ascertained that everything is, in fact, totally a-okay. Afterwards, I got myself a coffee and a pastry, then dropped off the books and toys (plus some gently-used winter coats and boots, both kids’ and womens’ sizes) at the women’s and children’s shelter. On the drive home, I listened to the Velvet Underground, and everything was so beautiful and I was so happy and relieved because I no longer had that particular fear hanging over my head.

That night I had a dream that my ex/old friend Levi had died, and I only knew because his wife, Kellyn (who was also once a friend of mine) sent me all the stuff he’d still held onto from our relationship/friendship. It made me deeply sad. I’ve written about it before, but— Levi and I were never really right for each other as romantic partners, but we were great friends. And, because were friends for so many years before we dated and we remained friends for so many years after our breakup, and because I became friends with Kellyn when they started dating, I really thought they’d be in my life forever. But Maggie got them in the great friendship divorce of 2014 (which still seems unfair, as she wouldn’t ever have known them if it weren’t for me, but it is what it is). They’ve been out of my life for a decade, now, and I miss them, and I hope they’re doing well, and it’s distressing to know that if something did happen to one of them, I’d probably never know.

The next day, my back pain was at its peak, so I took a long, warm bath with epsom salts to try and ease it enough that I could go out and about. And though it still hurt, I was able to go out, and spend a fantastic afternoon and evening downtown. First my mom and I did a little holiday gift-buying at the art museum shop, then we had tea together at her studio.

After that, I went over to the new bookshop, for a little get-together for Racine Writers-in-Residence past & present (plus whoever else wanted to stop by). It was great to be around a bunch of writers and artists, as always. It was great to be in a bookshop, with that dust-and-vanilla smell of old books. There were snacks and drinks—pies and cookies; coffee, wine, and beer. Ren, who put the whole thing together, asked what I’d like, and mentioned that the beer was a honey blonde ale from Littleport, our local brewery, so that’s what I had. I sipped my beer and talked to various writers about the ins and outs of submitting to lit mags (and the ins and outs of running lit mags); then talked to one of the artists about our mutual love of making art out of trash and other random things we find on the ground. I browsed the shelves for a bit. I wasn’t going to get a book—being that I’m super broke, I’m trying not to spend too much on unnecessary things for myself right now—but I made some off handed comment like: “Oh, I wish I could justify buying a book right now,” and Ren said: “I’ll buy you one! I just got paid today, and this way I can support a local shop while also helping a homie out.” I sorta tried to talk him out of it, but he seemed to really want to, so I browsed some more. I noticed that they had a big selection of used copies of books by Beat (and Beat-adjacent) writers, so you can guess what happened… I went with an early edition of Jack Kerouac’s Dr. Sax, because it’s one of my favorites of his, as well as one of the few Kerouac books I didn’t already have a copy of. Ren handed me the money and I went up to the counter to pay for it. “Oh, great choice,” the owner said, and we started talking about Jack Kerouac, then we chatted about William S. Burroughs for a while. Then he asked me if the music that was playing was good, or if he should put on something more upbeat, and I said: “Well, I like it. I mean, how can you go wrong with Django Reinhardt?” He was impressed that I knew it was Django, and I said: “There’s no mistaking that guitar sound, or Stéphane Grapelli’s violin.” Before I left, Ren asked me to recommend two or three movies for him to check out. He said he watches a lot of movies during the winter, and he wants to broaden his filmic horizons, so he’s asking everyone he knows what their favorite films are. I gave him the two that always pop into my head when someone asks for my favorite films: Down By Law and Wings of Desire. I started laughing after I named them, because I was like: “I sound so fucking pretentious. You ask my favorite movies and I name two black and white art house films, one of which is in a different language. But truly, they are two of my favorite films.” The owner overheard, and said: “Oh, Down By Law. I love that film! Jim Jarmusch is always fantastic, but that’s one of his best.” I agreed, and we chatted about it for a moment, then he said: “Do you like Walt Whitman?“ I responded: “Yes, I like Walt Whitman very much. Leaves of Grass.” Gahhh, I think I have a minor crush on the bookshop owner. Not one where I seriously want to get with him—he’s not my type, physically—but just. Someone in my town who digs Beat writers and Jarmusch films and Django Reinhardt??? Amazing. 

When I left the bookshop, I headed back to my mom’s studio, where my mom and dad and P. and the kiddos were all waiting. We were going to order out for dinner, and eat it at the studio, but before dinner my parents gave me some cash so P. and I could go and have a drink at our favorite pub. We walked over there, and sat down at the bar, and I ordered a Jameson on the rocks. Our favorite bartender was working that night—I’ve bonded with him before over a shared love for The Pogues and Lou Reed—and he was telling us they had a bunch of new, interesting beers on tap, and said: “Here, I’ll give you guys some samples.” And he poured us heavy samples of two different beers. (My favorite was the one that had raspberry and rosemary in it!) It was the first time since I started my ‘either no drinks or one drink only’ plan that I’d had more than one drink in an evening, and I got a little worried that I was going to be hungover the next day, but thankfully, I wasn’t. I must have paced myself enough that I metabolized everything without issue. (I’m still not going to chance that very often, though.)

Saturday morning was probably the worst of the worst. The kids were in terrible moods—fighting with each other, having tantrums about every little thing—and I did not deal with it well. So when the time came to go grocery shopping and run a couple other errands, I decided I would go by myself, so I could get away from it all. It helped. I blasted Weezer’s blue album and Ben Folds Five’s self-titled in the car, like it was 1995 or some shit, and sang along to all those songs I still know so, so well. I checked my P.o. box and there was a holiday card from a friend. One of the stops I had to make was to return a gift I’d gotten for one of the kids, and the person behind the returns desk was a beautiful queer person. They were super helpful and sweet, and I really appreciated it, not only because it lightened my mood, but also because I’m sure they are slammed with shitty customers this time of year, so I wouldn’t have blamed them for being surly. And they complimented me on my outfit, said: “I’m loving this whole look you’ve got going on. It’s fabulous.” It was just what I needed.

That evening, I chatted with a Tumblr mutual about our shared obsession with Kathy Acker, and that night, I stayed up late watching Doctor Who on my tablet. (I’ve started over with new Who, from the first episode with the ninth doctor, on.) That, too, was just what I needed.

The next day was better. My back felt better. It was a warmer day than we’d hand in a while, so C. and I played out in the backyard for a bit, and later in the evening we took a family walk around the neighborhood to look at people’s holiday decorations. I cooked a delicious dinner, and that night, P. and I got to watch a movie and have epic sexytimes.

Monday was worse, again. My back hurt more, again, and I was just so, so sad, and so worried about being able to afford Christmas gifts for my kiddos, and feeling like such a failure, and all I could really manage to do was make the pinned post for my main blog and cry a lot.

But Monday night, I finally got a good night’s sleep for the first time in a while, so I woke up feeling better rested. Tuesday morning, my period started, which explained some of the sadness and some of the back pain, but it wasn’t that much of a relief because it’s my heavy flow month and therefore the accompanying cramps are bad. Late afternoon, I took C. to the library. He played in the kids’ play area, and made a Christmas ornament (they had all the components out on tables in the youth department); I checked out a bunch of books.

That night, I had a dream about Derry. Namely, that I was at one of his band’s shows, and, after their set, he jumped down from the stage and right into my arms. Though it’s not as sad to dream about him now as it was before we’d reconnected, that dream still hurt. I haven’t been to see his band since early 2014, and that was during the time we weren’t speaking, so it has been closer to twenty years than ten since we’ve had a moment like the one in the dream.

Over the past couple days, well, things have been both good and bad. C.’s mood is improving. We’ve started playing Minecraft together—after a year of him begging me to, I finally gave in, and it’s pretty fun, and he is very happy that I can now participate in one of his favorite activities with him. I’ve been cooking a lot of delicious food. I’ve gotten back to writing with a vengeance. The new mini-zine is really really almost done, though it turns out it’s not going to be so mini—turns out I had a lot to write about Christmases past. I also have to keep taking breaks because it is traumatizing. These are not happy Christmas ghosts I’m writing of. And I’m still crampy, and still stressed and sad about being so broke near the holidays.

Today I applied for another credit card in hopes I could use that to buy the rest of the gifts, but I was not approved. And then I cried, because even if I do manage to get more gifts for the kiddos, which is not seeming likely, I won’t be getting the few things I really wanted for my birthday or Christmas (which include a few art and writing supplies, one book, and going to a gig all my electronic music pals are doing a few days before my birthday). And then I felt guilty for crying, because so many people have it so much worse, and Christmas and birthdays shouldn’t be about the presents or the parties, and am I just an ungrateful, greedy little bitch? But then I reminded myself that it’s okay to feel my feelings, and I’m allowed to be sad, even if it’s about something as seemingly unimportant as not getting what I wanted for my birthday.

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 3/11

What am I feeling today?

Just really wish I wasn’t awake right now. I was struggling to fall asleep last night and I only got a few hours of actual sleep. And my cat have been meowing and scratching at my door for about two hours now and I wish she’d just give up because I’m so so tired. I’m also back in school and this week is just going to be so hectic and I’m just not looking forward to it. I just feel like crying and giving up.

Bible Plan: healing what’s hidden

Holding on to Hope

God doesn’t operate as humans do. He uses the foolish to shame the wise. He makes a no-name shepherd into a king. He lets the last go first. He prays for his enemies. He turns the other cheek. He overcomes evil with good. He defeats death itself by submitting himself to death. And he births hope out of suffering.

Yeah you gotta admit, but human standards, God operates in a really weird way that most of us struggle to understand.

Don’t give up. Keep holding on to hope because God is faithful to provide it and because you are not alone in the struggle. Trauma may have been what brought you here, but soon enough, God’s redemptive love for you will take you to places so rich with joy and purpose you can’t even imagine them yet!

Right on time with the last thing I wrote was that I want to give up, isn’t it cool God can work like that? That He’s just always aware and gives His word in such a timely manner? Yeah He’s pretty awesome and just mind boggling and insane to fully comprehend.

‭‭Romans‬ ‭5‬:‭3‬-‭5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

The formula this passage gives us: suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character, and character produces hope. Of all the ways we’d expect hope to be produced, suffering wouldn’t have been at the top of the list. And yet, here we see that it is the unlikely place where hope is actually found. And you know what, it makes sense, because what would call for the need of hope if we didn’t suffer at some point?

Ephesians 3:20 NIV

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,”

Yeah that’s so true and sometimes I forget it when things don’t always go my way. God is literally all powerful, like insanely so. And sometimes I can be selfish with that, asking for things for me when really I don’t deserve anything. Why should He give me what I ask for? There’s no reason! But all the more reason to be grateful when He does!

James 1:2-4 NIV

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

We all know there are no quick fixes to trauma. It’s going to take patience and grit but do. not. give. up. What does he mean by “let perseverance finish its work”? I’m inclined to believe that he meant something like this: Don’t give up when you’re already partway there. Don’t let it all be for nothing. Yes, the pain is awful, but if you keep moving forward, it will mean something someday. Somehow, this terrible experience will be recycled for something good even though it doesn't make sense right now. And I really do believe that from past experiences. We don’t go through things without reason, trust that it fits in the plan some way down the road.

[thisaintascenereviews]

Top 20 Favorite Albums Of All Time: 2024 Edition

Ranking the best albums of all time is really hard, because there are thousands of albums out there, and you maybe haven’t heard a lot of those albums you’d love. I’ve been a music fan for the last 17 years, give or take, and I’ve listened to tons of albums, but one thing I don’t usually do is make ranked best of lists of albums I personally love. I like doing yearend lists, because that’s only the single year, not of all time. I’ve only done a best of all time ranking once, and that was maybe a decade ago, but in the span of that time, my taste has changed. I thought it would be interesting to take a look at my favorite albums of all time. It took awhile, but over the last few years, my taste has changed a lot. It’s going to, as that’s how tastes work. I’ve always thought of tastes in media are fluid, and not finite, because you can have different opinions at different points in time. With that said, some albums I used to absolutely revere aren’t always I love that much anymore, so if you’re wondering where something is, it’s probably that I still really love it, but not that much. I do have a handful of honorable mentions, and some of these albums are ones that I used to really love, and while I may still love them, they didn’t make the cut. I did have one rule, however, when I made this list: only two albums per band / artist on the main list. That’s because I love multiple albums from a lot of these bands and artists, so I only limited myself to two albums from any artist, but the honorable mentions might have an album that didn’t make the cut. They aren’t in any order, either, but let’s start with the honorable mentions, starting with…

Beastie Boys - Licensed To Ill

A lot of the albums on the entire list mean something to me, whether it’s the first album in a genre I discovered, or an album that I have a lot of nostalgia for, and Beastie Boys’ debut, Licensed To Ill is one of those, for sure. This is one of the first hip-hop albums I listened to, at least a few years after dipping my toes into the genre, and Beastie Boys blew my mind with their brand of hip-hop meets metal and punk, especially with Slayer’s Kerry King having a guest spot on their debut. Truthfully, their later albums are better, but I have a soft spot for their debut, because it’s so much fun and scrappy. For one of the first rap albums I ever listened to, I love it.

Childish Gambino - Because The Internet

Speaking of hip-hop, I don’t want to spoil too much of what you’ll see later, but Childish Gambino (otherwise known as Donald Glover) is the first rapper I ever listened to. I have another album of his on the list, but his sophomore album (not counting mixtapes), 2013’s Because The Internet, is a fun and experimental romp through hip-hop, R&B, pop, psychedelic, and electronic music. It’s got some of my favorite songs of his, but it’s also a really interesting and unique album that still doesn’t quite sound like anything I’ve ever heard.

Van Halen - S/T

Hard-rock band Van Halen is one of my favorite bands, and their 1978 self-titled debut is one of the best hard-rock albums ever made. This is the album that introduced people to both David Lee Roth, and Eddie Van Halen (may he rest in power). This isn’t anything necessarily unique, but it’s one hell of a record with some great riffs, solos, and hooks.

Black Sabbath - Paranoid

Arguably the first metal band, Black Sabbath’s debut album, 1970’s Paranoid, is also considered to be the first true heavy metal album, and it rules. It’s got a couple of their most beloved and well known songs, but it’s the album that first showcased heavy metal as its own sound, versus being bluesy hard-rock. This album was one of the first traditional heavy metal album albums that I listened to, and showed me that a lot of classic metal albums have merit to them.

Miles Davis - Kind Of Blue

I’ve become a jazz fan over the last few years, at least more than I used to be, and one of my favorite jazz records, as well as the first jazz record I ever listened to, is Miles Davis’ magnum opus, 1959’s Kind Of Blue. This is such a dynamic and interesting little jazz album that took the genre into new and unexplored territories, especially with Miles Davis already being an influential band leader by that point.

Dio - Holy Diver

Along with Black Sabbath’s Paranoid, Dio’s - 1983 debut album, Holy Diver, is one of my favorite traditional heavy metal albums that got me into that style. Dio, the band, is made up of the 1980 - 1982 lineup of Black Sabbath, sans Tony Iommi, but one could also argue that Holy Diver was an influence on power metal. Ronnie James Dio isn’t only one of the best and most expressive metal vocalists, his sense of lyricism was more based on Lord Of The Rings and fantasy, versus the typical cliches of rock and metal at the time. This album is really catchy, fun, anthemic, and larger than life, but that was Dio in a nutshell.

Metallica - Ride The Lightning

Ah, Metallica, you know they’d be here, but this is one of the exceptions to my “two album rule,” as I have three albums from this legendary and iconic band on the list, although only two on the actual list, so I kept one here. That album is 1984’s Ride The Lightning. This is their second album, where they honed their sound a bit, but this isn’t the first album from them I listened to, nor is it quite my favorite, although this album is legendary, and for good reason.

The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

A decade ago, The Beatles were easily my favorite band. I went through a whole couple of years where they were all I listened to, and truth be told, 1967’s Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, is still a great album, and it’s one of my favorites, but I haven’t gone back to it as much in recent years. Maybe I’m just burnt out on them, or my taste has changed, but this isn’t quite my all time favorite. I still love this album, and it’s a wonderful rock album, being a monumental album both for the genre and for its time.

Fleetwood Mac - Rumours

Arguably the best pop / pop-rock album of all time, you know Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 masterpiece Rumours had to be here. This album is a lightning in a bottle kind of album that could only have been made under the right set of circumstances. If just one small thing was off, who knows what this album would have sounded like? This is the best example of a breakup album that’s written by both parties of the breakup, let alone writing songs about each other and singing on each others’ songs. Talk about awkward, but that awkwardness makes for some of the best music ever made.

Spiritbox - Eternal Blue

This is the most recent album on my list, but I’ve gone on record as saying that Spiritbox’s debut album, 2021’s Eternal Blue, is one of my new all time favorite albums. It was my favorite album of 2021, and it’s one of the best albums of the 2020s so far. This band mixes alt-metal, djent, metalcore, progressive metal, and even pop and electronic sounds to make for a very fun, catchy, accessible, and palatable sound that is only getting better, especially with their newest EP from last year.

Okay, it’s time for my top 20 favorite albums of all time, so here we go!

20: Justin Timberlake - The 20/20 Experience

One of my all time favorite solo artists is pop and R&B singer Justin Timberlake, and I’ll go into more detail later, but his 2013 comeback album, The 20/20 Experience, is one of my favorite pop and R&B albums. I’m gonna cheat and just point you to the direction of the ten-year retrospective I wrote last year, because I go into a lot more detail than I could here.

19: Paramore - Riot

A huge congratulations is needed for Paramore in their Grammy wins last week, but the first album from them I ever heard is 2007’s Riot, and it’s also one of my favorite albums from the MySpace / scene era. It’s held up surprisingly well, but it’s such a catchy, energetic, and rambunctious pop-punk album that only began to show how talented that band really was (and frankly still is).

18: Bruce Springsteen - Born In The USA

You can’t have an all time favorite albums list without The Boss himself, Bruce Springsteen. At least my list, anyway, because I love me some Springsteen, but my favorite Springsteen album will always be 1984’s Born In The USA. Something about his gruff vocals paired with shimmering and catchy pop-tinged instrumentation is so good, but some of these songs are among his most iconic.

17: Sam Cooke - The Best Of Sam Cooke

I’ve come to love a lot of music from the 1940s and 1950s, and Sam Cooke is my favorite singer of that era, especially with his 1962 greatest hits album. I first listened to Sam Cooke in the movie Hitch, and it took me a long time to figure out who it was, but I absolutely love his work. His voice is among the best of all time, and that greatest hits is such a short but sweet collection of the best of the best.

16: Judas Priest - Screaming For vengeance

Judas Priest is among my favorite bands, and their 1982 album, Screaming For Vengeance, is the first album I ever listened to from them back maybe a decade ago. This is where the band went from a bluesy hard-rock / metal sound to a faster and more energetic sound, more akin to speed metal from that era, but that’s not to say that their earlier material isn’t good, either. Screaming For Vengeance is one of my favorite Priest albums, and for a long, it was my favorite of their albums, at least until I heard another one (which we’ll talk about soon enough).

15: The Gaslight Anthem - Handwritten

Handwritten, the 2012 album from The Gaslight Anthem, is one of my favorite rock albums, but this wasn’t the first album I listened to from them. That would be 2010’s American Slang, and while I enjoyed that album a lot, their foray into classic rock with Handwritten, just resonated a lot more. Brian Fallon and company sound great on this album, and it’s still my favorite album from these guys. Despite releasing one more album in 2014 before going on hiatus until releasing a comeback album last year, which was ultimately disappointing, nothing tops this album for me.

14: U2 - The Best Of 1980 - 1990

Like with Justin Timberlake’s The 20/20 Experience, I’m going to cheat a bit by saying check out my piece on U2, and how I’ve grown to love this band, but their first greatest hits album is an utterly killer album. Out of everything here, this is the most “recent” discovery I’ve made, but I truly do love U2, and this greatest hits album.

13: Metallica - The Black Album

Oh yeah, The Black Album, now we’re talking. I absolutely love this record. Metallica’s most accessible album, and depending on who you talk to, it’s either one of their best or worst albums, but this is where the band really honed in on their penchant for good hooks. This is their catchiest album, but it’s still heavy. Some of these riffs are downright nasty, and it features some of their best solos to date.

12: Fall Out Boy - Folie A Deux

It’s no secret Fall Out Boy is my favorite band, so it would make sense that 2008’s Folie A Deux is one of my favorite albums of all time. This is their catchiest and most accessible, but like with The Black Album, it has some of their best hooks and also some of my favorite Fall Out Boy lyrics. This album deals a lot with their newfound time after their last album came out, and it’s got a lot of biting social satire and commentary, but it’s also just a damn good time.

11: Judas Priest - Painkiller

Judas Priest became a full blown speed metal / thrash metal band in 1990 with Painkiller, and this was their last album Rob Halford until the 00s, but this is a monster of a record. It’s the best Judas Priest album by far, and easily my favorite, but for good reason. Sometimes all you need is a kickass album, and that’s what this is.

10: Guns ‘N Roses - Appetite For Destruction

Top ten time, and first up, is Guns ‘N Roses’ debut, 1987’s Appetite For Destruction, and this is another kickass album, but it rides the line between being hard rock and metal. You can call GNR a metal band, because this album leans very much into that territory, especially with how popular hair metal was at the time. Hair metal was at its prime in 1987, and this album is among the best of that sound, or at least, very close to it. Axl Rose and Slash are one of the best duos in hard rock and metal for good reason.

9: AC/DC - Back In Black

In the beginning of the same decade, AC/DC released the massive Back In Black, and this record is one of the first hard rock albums I ever heard, as well as “classic rock,” and this album will always have a place in my heart. I don’t listen to this album much anymore, because I’ve already played it a thousand times, but every time I dust this album off, so to speak, I think to when I was 12 or 13, listening to this album for the first time.

8: Iron Maiden - The Number Of The Beast

You know I had to put some Iron Maiden here, and of course, I went with 1982’s The Number Of The Beast. This is the quintessential Iron Maiden album, as well as a quintessential heavy metal album (especially from the 1980s). I feel like a lot has been said about this album already, and I’ve talked about it a lot over the years, so I don’t need to say much else other than this album rules.

7: Justin Timberlake - FutureSex / LoveSounds

Justin Timberlake is back, folks, and this time with 2006’s FutureSex / LoveSounds. This was one of the first pop albums I ever listened to, especially after randomly picking it up at FYE one day back in 2012. I was wanting to get out of my comfort zone, and I had always heard great thing about this album, all of which are founded in truth. This record is one of the best pop albums I’ve ever heard, and there’s only one that surpasses it, but we’ll talk about that in a second. This is JT at the top of his game, whether it’s the production, the vocals, or even a lot of the lyrics, this is an iconic album for a reason.

6: Eagles - Their Greatest Hits / Vol 2

I’m a huge fan of the Eagles, and instead of putting their first greatest hits album from 1975, I decided to cheat and put both that and their 1980 second one. Both greatest hits albums have some of my favorite songs from them, but they feel like two halves of a whole. You can’t have one without the other, but if you want some great harmonies, lyricism, vocals, and just the whole package of a band that first started as a country / folk-rock band and turned into one of the highest selling and most influential arena-rock bands, you can’t go wrong with these albums.

5: Childish Gambino - Camp

Childish Gambino’s debut, 2011’s Camp is the first rap album I ever heard, and it’s also one of my all time favorite albums, even today. This record showed me that hip-hop could be emotional, interesting, introspective, and was more than what the mainstream perpetuated. I’ve come around on the genre tenfold, but back then, I was just getting into other styles of music, and I was a fan of Donald Glover already, thanks to Community, and this record blew my mind when I first heard it. I think it holds up quite well today, too, but I plan on writing a piece on this, so I’m gonna save a lot of my thoughts for that, but I love this record a lot.

4: Van Halen - 1984

Hell yeah, brother, 1984 by Van Halen. This is a great album, and it turns 40 this year, although I believed it just did, actually. I talked about their self-titled debut earlier, but their 1984 LP of the same name is my favorite album of theirs. Songs like “Jump, “Top Jimmy,” and “Hot For Teacher” are god tier 80s rock and metal songs. This album is also really awesome for featuring synth, especially at a time when synths were becoming more popular, but not for rock music. Van Halen made it work, and 1984 is one of the best albums of all time.

3: Metallica - Master Of Puppets

A couple of years ago, I made a list ranking the first five Metallica albums, and I put 1983’s Kill ‘Em All as my number one, but I’d like to change my ranking a bit here, and put 1986’s Master Of Puppets as my number one, although I do still love their debut, and I go back to it quite a bit, it’s not their best album, or even my personal favorite anymore, but Master Of Puppets isn’t only my favorite Metallica album, it’s also the first album from these guys I listened to. I guess you could say this was the first thrash album I listened to, but metal in general doesn’t get any better than Master Of Puppets.

2: Fall Out Boy - Infinity On High

You know, I’ve said for the longest time that my favorite album of all time is Fall Out Boy’s Infinity On High, and I suppose you can say that the final (and top) two albums are interchangeable, but I’ve been thinking about what album is truly my number one. It depends on the day which one would really be my favorite, but with that said, these final two albums are two of the most influential albums on me personally. Fall Out Boy’s Infinity On High is the first album I ever got into, back when I was a wee lad, and only discovering music for the first time, so this album has a history with me. I just wrote extensively about this album on its anniversary a few days ago, so check that out for some more context on this album.

1: Michael Jackson - Thriller

Michael Jackson’s 1982 juggernaut Thriller is a GOATed album. Let’s not mince words here. I saw a clip of Donald Glover being interviewed by his costar from Mr. And Mrs. Smith about what album is considered the GOAT and he said Thriller. I’ve been thinking about that, and the more I keep saying to myself that’s true. This album is the first pop album I ever listened to, because I wanted to get out of my comfort zone of being into rock and metalcore, like I was at the time, so I remember seeing a copy of Thriller and I decided to grab it. Little did I know that album would blow my mind to smithereens, whether it was for its production or its vocals. I had only known Michael Jackson from the tabloids, especially before he passed, and didn’t understand how important and influential his music was, but knowing that history and context, this album is the highest selling album of all time for good reason.

[cleverhottubmiracle]

Happy Friday, friends! I have so many new pieces to share that I’m splitting them into two posts. Since I probably have more from EVEREVE than any other retailer, I figured I’d round up all my try-ons from them in one spot. This post includes a mix of online orders and in-store try-ons, so there’s a lot to cover. I’m sharing what worked, what didn’t, and what went straight into my Florida packing pile! It’s no secret that EVEREVE is one of my favorite places to shop. They do such a great job curating pieces that feel fresh and on-trend for the everyday woman, and so much of what they carry aligns with my personal style and quality standards. I also love browsing their site for modern styling inspiration. As usual, I will provide measurements and fabric content on each item when I can find it, and I’ll share whether I plan to keep it or not. Just remember, even when I decide not to keep something, it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth checking out. I just may not need it, or it may not work for my body type or lifestyle. Spring Style Picks with Fit & Outfit Details SIZING NOTES: I’m 5’5″ and I usually wear a small or medium in tops and dresses, a 29 or 30 in jeans and pants, and a size 8 shoe. Gifted items are indicated by c/o; everything else I purchased myself. EVEREVE Lainey Denim Shell at EVEREVE (M) // MOTHER Hustler (30) // Veronica Beard Via (8) DETAILS: Round out your denim collection with the Lainey shell top by EVEREVE. Finished in a faded blue wash, this chic denim top features a sleeveless silhouette with a swingy fit. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 20 1/2″ Material: 62% Cotton, 20% Lyocell, 11% Polyester, 6% Rayon, 1% Spandex Denim Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low, Do Not Bleach Denim is trending big time this spring, from your usual jeans and shorts to tops and dresses, so I thought this little denim shell would be a fun addition to my spring wardrobe, but I don’t like it as much in person as I did online. The color shifts through the middle of the top in a way that isn’t very subtle, and while the fabric has some stretch, it’s also stiff and ends up sticking out from my midsection in an awkward way. My initial instinct was to pair this top with white jeans, but I noticed they styled it with blue denim on the website—and since denim-on-denim is a big trend right now, I figured I’d give it a shot. I tried it with my PAIGE Leenah ankle jeans, and I even swapped my slides for the fisherman-style espadrille sandals as shown on the model. VERDICT: The second look definitely feels more modern to my eye, but I still don’t love the top, so it went back. EVEREVE Jane Pullover in White/Green at EVEREVE (S) // PAIGE Leenah Ankle (29) // Splendid Row (8) DETAILS: This chic sleeveless sweater will instantly elevate your spring wardrobe, crafted in a cotton knit with a ribbed collar, rolled edges, and green stripes for a pop of color. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 100% Cotton Knit Care: Hand Wash, Wash Cold, Dry Flat, Use Non-Chlorine Bleach This is one they brought back from last spring/summer, and I’m so glad they did. I had it in the red stripe last year and loved it, but I think I like this white and green version even more. It gives a such a fresh burst of color without feeling too bold. VERDICT: Keeping! It’s true to size, but if you’re between sizes, you could probably size down. EVEREVE Alicia Tie Dye Tank at EVEREVE (M) // PAIGE Leenah Ankle (29) // Splendid Row (8) DETAILS: Add a pop of color to your spring wardrobe with the Alicia Tie Dye Tank by EVEREVE. Perfect for weekend wear, this easy-to-love tank top is crafted in cotton-blend slub fabric with a crew neckline and relaxed fit. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 23″ Material: 60% Cotton, 40% Modal Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Dry Flat I’m a sucker for tie-dye, and I really like this more subtle take on the trend. It’s made from a soft, cotton-blend slub fabric and has a flattering 23″ length with a sleeveless silhouette. You can wear it loose or do a little front-tuck if you like that look. VERDICT: Keeping! This one is definitely coming with me to Florida next week. EVEREVE Bailey Stripe Grommet Sweatshirt at EVEREVE M // PAIGE Leenah Ankle (29) // Splendid Row (8) DETAILS: Give your spring wardrobe a coastal-inspired feel with the Bailey sweatshirt by EVEREVE. Finished in nautical blue-and-white stripes, this stylish pullover features a relaxed fit, flared long sleeves, and a henley neckline with grommet details. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 69% Cotton, 31% Polyester Knit Care: Machine Wash, Tumble Dry Low You’ve probably seen me wear this one already. I love the nautical-inspired blue and white stripes and the henley neckline with the grommet detail. It’s a great weight—more of a top than a sweatshirt—but it does have a terry cloth lining for that cozy feel. I also really like the boxy fit and 22″ length, which works well worn loose or front-tucked. VERDICT: Kept it! Already wore it! LNA Harrison Rib Tee at EVEREVE (M) // Frank & Eileen Derry (30) // Frankie Shacket (M) // Vionic Klara (8) DETAILS: This versatile striped tee by LNA is the perfect wardrobe essential, crafted in soft rib knit fabric with a crew neckline, slim fit, and short sleeves. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 95% Rayon, 5% Spandex Rib Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low This is a nice basic—very soft, stretchy, and easy to wear—but I didn’t love the color on me. I originally bought it to go with this shirt jacket, but the whole look just felt too murky for my taste. VERDICT: I returned this one, but it does come in solid black, which might be a nice option. Z Supply Wren Ari Floral Blouse at EVEREVE and Z Supply (S) // AG Mari (29) // rag & bone Walker (39) DETAILS: Step into spring with this gorgeous button-front blouse by Z Supply. Finished in a fun floral pattern, this peasant-style top features a flowy, relaxed silhouette, puff sleeves, and lightweight woven fabric. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 24″ Material: 52% Rayon, 48% Cotton Woven Care: Machine Wash, Tumble Dry Low, Iron Low I love how this top blends soft and edgy. The floral print is feminine, but the faded black and ecru colorway gives it a more modern, slightly edgy vibe. The split neckline is super flattering, and the drapey fabric makes it easy to wear tucked or untucked. VERDICT: Kept this one—and actually wore it out to dinner in Nashville last weekend! EVEREVE Naia Off Shoulder Pullover at EVEREVE (S) // MOTHER Dazzler Flood (30) // Margaux The Demi Flat (39) DETAILS: Update your knitwear collection with the Naia Pullover by EVEREVE, featuring an off the shoulder neckline, reverse seam details, and a relaxed silhouette. Neckline: Off Shoulder Material: 100% Cotton Knit Care: Hand Wash, Wash Cold, Dry Flat I met a friend at the EVEREVE at my local mall a few weeks ago, and this pullover caught my eye right away. I loved the black and white stripes and the boxy fit on the hanger—but I didn’t realize it was meant to be worn off-the-shoulder. That’s just not really my vibe. You don’t have to wear it that way, but the neckline is pretty wide and droopy, and the drop shoulder looks kind of awkward on me. VERDICT: I didn’t bring this one home with me. Nation LTD Betina Tank at EVEREVE, Nordstrom, and Anthro (S) // MOTHER Dazzler Flood (30) // Margaux The Demi flats (39) DETAILS: Crafted in soft, textured Pima cotton, the Betina Tank from Nation LTD features a cropped silhouette with a square neckline and gold buttons at the shoulder for a chic touch. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 19 3/4″ Material: 100% Pima Cotton Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low I really wanted to love this top. The texture and color palette are so pretty, and I love the square neckline and boxy fit. But it’s awkwardly short. I tried both the small and medium—the small fit better overall—but both lengths felt just a bit too cropped for my comfort. I think I’d need another inch or two for the proportions to feel right. VERDICT: Sadly, I left this one in the store as well. EVEREVE Nora Muscle Tee in Red at EVEREVE (S) // Pistola Charlie Straight (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: The Nora Muscle Tee by EVEREVE is the perfect spring staple, crafted in soft Pima cotton fabric with a crew neckline, relaxed fit, and raglan cap sleeves. Neckline: Crew Neck Length from Shoulder to Hem: 23″ Material: 100% Pima Cotton Knit Care: Machine Wash Cold, Do Not Bleach Now this little top, I love! I originally tried the medium, but it was a bit roomy through the armholes, so I ended up with the small. The raglan cap sleeves are super flattering, and the fabric has a really nice weight to it; it’s thicker than a lot of tees these days. I don’t know why I didn’t snap a photo of it untucked, but it hits at a nice length. I think I prefer it with a front tuck, though—it probably depends on whether I’m layering something over it. This top comes in several colors and neutrals, but I especially love this shade of orangey-red. VERDICT: I bought this one. Alex Mill Elle Cardigan in Hydrangea at EVEREVE & Bloomingdale’s (M) // Pistola Charlie Straight (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: Refresh your spring sweater collection with the Elle Cardigan by Alex Mill. Finished in a textured cotton-blend knit, this chic button-front sweater features a cropped fit, round neckline, and short sleeves. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 19″ Material: 55% Linen, 45% Cotton Knit Care: Hand Wash, Wash Cold, Dry Flat Short sleeve cardigans worn buttoned up like this one are a major trend this spring, and I do like the look. This one is such a pretty color, has a nice texture, and the contrasting buttons are a fun detail. But it’s just a smidge shorter than I prefer at 19″, and I have a feeling I’d be tugging on it all day. VERDICT: I left this one behind. Pistola Charlie Straight in Augustus at EVEREVE (29) // Alex Mill Elle Cardigan (M) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: A classic straight leg makes these Pistola jeans a versatile closet staple, crafted in comfort-stretch denim with a high-rise fit, faded blue wash, and ankle-length hems. 11″ Front Rise; 27″ Inseam; 14 1/2″ Leg Opening Material: 99% Cotton, 1% Spandex Denim Care: Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low These jeans have potential, but they just missed the mark for me. The waist felt really tight, and I didn’t quite love the overall fit from the front. (Ironically, I think they look better from the back.) I also wasn’t a fan of the wash in person; it has a slightly dirty-looking undertone that I couldn’t get past. VERDICT: These also stayed behind. EVEREVE Ever Vintage Barrel at Evereve (29) // Alex Mill Elle Cardigan (M) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: A bowed, tapered leg creates the chic silhouette of these EVEREVE barrel jeans, featuring a high-rise fit, ankle-length hems, and subtle distressing for a fresh vintage feel.  11 7/8″ Rise; 26 3/4″ Inseam; 14″ Leg Opening Material: 66% Cotton, 18% Lyocell, 10% Polyester, 5% Rayon, 1% Spandex Denim Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low This pair was a total bust. The fabric just didn’t have enough structure, and I felt like the fit wasn’t flattering at all. Let’s just say, the rear view shot isn’t going to see the light of day. VERDICT: These didn’t come home with me either! MOTHER The Insider Crop Step Fray in Out Of The Blue at Evereve, Shopbop, Bloomingdale’s & Nordstrom (29) // Nation LTD tee (M) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: This iconic high-waisted bootcut is cropped at the ankle with a frayed step-hem. Made from stretch denim, Out Of The Blue is a mid-blue wash with whiskering and fading at the knee. 10″ Rise; 27 1/4″ Inseam; 15 1/4″ Leg Opening 78% cotton, 16% modal, 4% polyester, 2% elastane Machine wash Made in Los Angeles Okay, NOW we’re talking! I shared these in last week’s Try-On Haul, but I added them after publishing the post, so some of you may have missed them. The Insider was my introduction to MOTHER denim many moons ago—who remembers these? Oh, how I loved those jeans! I actually bought a second pair when my first started looking worn. I also had a white pair, which I sadly had to retire last summer when they got too small. I wasn’t sure I was still into the crop step fray hem, but when I spotted this pretty mid-blue wash at EVEREVE, I had to try them on and see how I felt about the style now. As it turns out, I think they’re exactly what my spring/summer closet needs. The step hem might feel a little tired, but I don’t think it’s obsolete—these are still available in multiple washes and listed as a top seller on the MOTHER website. After trying them on and thinking it through, I decided they’re the perfect pair to alternate with the MOTHER Dazzler, which I wear constantly. I also think they’re more flattering on me than the PAIGE Anessa, even though I still love that pair for a cropped wide-leg option. VERDICT: I left these in the store and ordered them from Bloomingdale’s to get the sale price. Sadly, they aren’t on sale anywhere at the moment that I’m aware of, but they’re available at a lot of retailers, so I’ll keep an eye out! Nation LTD Cooper Tee at Evereve & Nordstrom (M) // MOTHER Insider Crop Step Fray (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: The Cooper Tee by Nation LTD will take you from day to night in style. Finished in Peruvian cotton slub fabric, this v-neck tee features a relaxed fit, rolled sleeves, and pleated shoulders with epaulets and gold button details. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 100% Peruvian Cotton Slub Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low I really wanted this top to work—it’s such a pretty color, and I love the soft cotton slub fabric. But even in the medium, it felt snug through the midsection, and I was hoping for a looser fit. You can also see my bra around the armholes, so I think the proportions just aren’t quite right for me. VERDICT: I left this one behind. EVEREVE EVER Rib Tank in Red mini stripe at Evereve (M) // MOTHER Insider Crop Step Fray (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: Top off your warm-weather essentials collection with the EVER Rib Tank by EVEREVE. Finished soft ribbed fabric, this versatile striped tank top features a fitted silhouette, scoop neckline, and contrasting trim at the collar and arms. Evereve Exclusive Scoop Neck Length from Shoulder to Hem: 23″ Material: 96% Modal, 4% Spandex Rib Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Delicate / Gentle Cycle, Tumble Dry Low, Use Non-Chlorine Bleach This tank, however, is a winner. The modal/spandex rib knit is super soft and stretchy, and it’s bra-friendly. I love the red and white mini stripe for summer, and the contrasting white trim at the collar and armholes gives it a little something extra. It feels more polished than your average basic. VERDICT: I purchased this—and the black mini stripe! Sanctuary Linen Bomber in Chalk at Evereve (M) // EVER Rib Tank (M) // MOTHER Insider Crop Step Fray (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: Finished in a linen-cotton blend, this stylish bomber jacket by Sanctuary is the perfect springtime layer, featuring a front zipper closure, cropped fit, and side pockets. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 21″ Material: 52% Linen, 48% Cotton Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low I have this bomber in the Kalamata color, and when I saw this Chalk version in-store, I thought it would make a nice topper for the striped tank. The linen texture is much more noticeable in the lighter shade, which gives it a breezy, casual feel. I just wish it didn’t have the slightly dropped shoulder—it adds visual weight and feels a little bulky, especially in this color. VERDICT: While I like this jacket and I’m glad I have the green, I don’t love it enough to buy it in a second color. EVEREVE Cecilia Shirred Top at Evereve (S/M) // MOTHER Insider Crop Step Fray (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: Elevate your spring wardrobe with the Cecilia top by EVEREVE. Finished with shirring at the shoulders, this breezy button-down shirt is crafted in textured linen-blend fabric with a flowy fit and rolled dolman sleeves. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 70% Viscose, 30% Linen Woven Care: Machine Wash, Tumble Dry Low, Do Not Bleach, Iron Low I was surprised by how much I liked this top! I assumed it would feel too voluminous for my taste, but it actually has a really nice drape. It’s flowy without being overwhelming, and the smocked detail adds texture without feeling fussy. The length hits that sweet spot—it’s just right to leave untucked. EVEREVE Cecilia Shirred Top, size M They didn’t have the small in-store, so I tried the medium, but I had a feeling the small might fit better, so I ordered it. It arrived this week, and I was happy I decided to wait. While the medium was fine, having less fabric through the body makes the overall shape more flattering. I just hope it doesn’t shrink in the wash! EVEREVE Cecilia Shirred Top, size S VERDICT: I’m keeping the small. LNA Dessa Muscle Tee at EVEREVE (M) // AG Mari in Gallery White (30) // Sam Edelman Deacon (8) DETAILS: Refresh your essentials collection with the Dessa Muscle Tee by LNA. This versatile sleeveless t-shirt is crafted in soft cotton fabric and features a v-neckline, relaxed fit, and seamed shoulder detail. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 100% Cotton Knit Care: Machine Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low This tank is super cute! I love the bright shade of pink and the subtle muscle tee silhouette with that seamed shoulder detail. The v-neck is really flattering, and the polished fit skims the body without clinging. At 22″ long, it’s the perfect length to leave untucked if you prefer. And here’s how it looks with a front tuck, which is also an option. I know the front tuck is kind of on its way out, but I still like it with certain tops—especially ones like this. It helps create shape through the middle, which I find more flattering. A full tuck, on the other hand, draws a horizontal line right across my midsection and tends to make it look bigger—not my goal! VERDICT: Keeping this one! It went right into my pile of clothes I plan to pack for Florida, as did these jeans. Speaking of which… AG Mari Mari Mid Rise Slim Straight Leg Crop Jeans at AG Jeans, Nordstrom & Saks (gift card offer) (30) // LNA top (M) // Sam Edelman Deacon (8) DETAILS: The Mari Crop is a mid-rise slim straight updated in bright white. These five-pocket jeans fit easy around the hips and feature a straight-leg silhouette with a slim, cropped finish. They’re crafted from 10.25 oz. Cloud Soft Stretch Denim, an exclusive AG fabric with special left-hand twill construction that allows the yarns to gently relax and untwist for a luxe, supple feel. It’s designed to get softer with every wear. Cloud Soft Stretch Denim: 93% Cotton, 5% Polyester, 2% Elastane 9 3/4″ Front Rise; 27″ Inseam; 12 3/4″ Leg Opening I’ve shared these before, but hadn’t taken the tags off because I wasn’t sure I needed another pair of white jeans. I already have a few in my closet—but when I pulled these out to try on with the pink tank earlier this week, I instantly decided they were keepers. For one thing, they are ridiculously comfortable. They honestly feel like pajamas. I’ve had other pairs of AG Mari jeans before, and while I like the silhouette, they always feel like jeans—and they’re often a bit snug at the waist. These are different. They’re super soft and lightweight, and they have just the right amount of stretch. Curious about why they felt so different, I checked the label and saw: AG Cloud Soft Denim™. That was new to me, so I looked it up, and here’s what I found: Experience our softest jeans yet, crafted from AG Cloud Soft Denim™. This super soft denim features the perfect amount of stretch and a special left-hand twill construction that allows the yarns to relax and gently untwist, creating the most luxurious feel. Designed to get even softer with every wear, it’s offered in a collection of our best-fitting jeans for men and women. From skinny fits to wide-leg styles, the selection boasts the softest women’s jeans and the softest men’s jeans in a range of must-have silhouettes and trending colors. These are guaranteed to be the most comfortable jeans you’ve ever worn. So, that explains why these jeans are noticeably more comfortable than any other AG jeans I’ve ever worn. (And I’m a fan of AG Jeans, don’t get me wrong. I used to wear my AG Legging Ankle Jeans like loungewear, but this AG Cloud Soft Denim is on another level.) VERDICT: Keeping! I’m so excited about these. White denim can feel dressy and stiff, but these feel like pajamas—while still looking fresh and polished. Highly recommend giving them a try! Sadly, these jeans are no longer on sale, but they are eligible for the Saks Gift Card Event (Spend More, Earn More) with code GIFTCDSF. Gola Viper Sneaker in Bone at Evereve (7.5) DETAILS: A sporty paneled design defines these chic low-top sneakers by Gola, featuring a neutral suede upper, contrasting sole, and white leather details. I spotted these in-store and loved the neutral colorway. It’s a nice way to branch out from white sneakers without going too bold or bright—and my brown adidas Spezials are starting to feel a little dark for this time of year. These are surprisingly comfortable, too, but they definitely run big. I sized down to a 7.5 and still have room to spare. VERDICT: Keeping! Splendid Row Fisherman Sandal at Evereve & Nordstrom (8) DETAILS: Set on an espadrille sole, the Row sandal by Splendid Footwear is perfect for your warm-weather rotation. Adjustable Buckle Platform Height: 0.2″ Material: Suede Upper, TPR Outsole I’m a little unsure about these—although I’ve clearly worn them outside, so they’re mine now! I love them in theory: they’re a great alternative to sandals or sneakers for casual days, and they’re very comfortable underfoot. But I did notice that my toes tend to catch on the strap when I walk quickly. I think it’s because my feet are on the flatter side and tend to move around a bit inside the shoe. VERDICT: I like the styling of these, but I definitely recommend walking around in them at home first to make sure they’re comfortable for your feet. They run true to size. Stay In Touch If you liked this post, be sure you’re signed up for my email newsletter. In addition to my most recent blog posts, you’ll receive exclusive newsletter content like special sales, my newest favorite finds, and an occasional peek behind the scenes — all delivered right to your inbox. 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[norajworld]

Happy Friday, friends! I have so many new pieces to share that I’m splitting them into two posts. Since I probably have more from EVEREVE than any other retailer, I figured I’d round up all my try-ons from them in one spot. This post includes a mix of online orders and in-store try-ons, so there’s a lot to cover. I’m sharing what worked, what didn’t, and what went straight into my Florida packing pile! It’s no secret that EVEREVE is one of my favorite places to shop. They do such a great job curating pieces that feel fresh and on-trend for the everyday woman, and so much of what they carry aligns with my personal style and quality standards. I also love browsing their site for modern styling inspiration. As usual, I will provide measurements and fabric content on each item when I can find it, and I’ll share whether I plan to keep it or not. Just remember, even when I decide not to keep something, it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth checking out. I just may not need it, or it may not work for my body type or lifestyle. Spring Style Picks with Fit & Outfit Details SIZING NOTES: I’m 5’5″ and I usually wear a small or medium in tops and dresses, a 29 or 30 in jeans and pants, and a size 8 shoe. Gifted items are indicated by c/o; everything else I purchased myself. EVEREVE Lainey Denim Shell at EVEREVE (M) // MOTHER Hustler (30) // Veronica Beard Via (8) DETAILS: Round out your denim collection with the Lainey shell top by EVEREVE. Finished in a faded blue wash, this chic denim top features a sleeveless silhouette with a swingy fit. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 20 1/2″ Material: 62% Cotton, 20% Lyocell, 11% Polyester, 6% Rayon, 1% Spandex Denim Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low, Do Not Bleach Denim is trending big time this spring, from your usual jeans and shorts to tops and dresses, so I thought this little denim shell would be a fun addition to my spring wardrobe, but I don’t like it as much in person as I did online. The color shifts through the middle of the top in a way that isn’t very subtle, and while the fabric has some stretch, it’s also stiff and ends up sticking out from my midsection in an awkward way. My initial instinct was to pair this top with white jeans, but I noticed they styled it with blue denim on the website—and since denim-on-denim is a big trend right now, I figured I’d give it a shot. I tried it with my PAIGE Leenah ankle jeans, and I even swapped my slides for the fisherman-style espadrille sandals as shown on the model. VERDICT: The second look definitely feels more modern to my eye, but I still don’t love the top, so it went back. EVEREVE Jane Pullover in White/Green at EVEREVE (S) // PAIGE Leenah Ankle (29) // Splendid Row (8) DETAILS: This chic sleeveless sweater will instantly elevate your spring wardrobe, crafted in a cotton knit with a ribbed collar, rolled edges, and green stripes for a pop of color. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 100% Cotton Knit Care: Hand Wash, Wash Cold, Dry Flat, Use Non-Chlorine Bleach This is one they brought back from last spring/summer, and I’m so glad they did. I had it in the red stripe last year and loved it, but I think I like this white and green version even more. It gives a such a fresh burst of color without feeling too bold. VERDICT: Keeping! It’s true to size, but if you’re between sizes, you could probably size down. EVEREVE Alicia Tie Dye Tank at EVEREVE (M) // PAIGE Leenah Ankle (29) // Splendid Row (8) DETAILS: Add a pop of color to your spring wardrobe with the Alicia Tie Dye Tank by EVEREVE. Perfect for weekend wear, this easy-to-love tank top is crafted in cotton-blend slub fabric with a crew neckline and relaxed fit. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 23″ Material: 60% Cotton, 40% Modal Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Dry Flat I’m a sucker for tie-dye, and I really like this more subtle take on the trend. It’s made from a soft, cotton-blend slub fabric and has a flattering 23″ length with a sleeveless silhouette. You can wear it loose or do a little front-tuck if you like that look. VERDICT: Keeping! This one is definitely coming with me to Florida next week. EVEREVE Bailey Stripe Grommet Sweatshirt at EVEREVE M // PAIGE Leenah Ankle (29) // Splendid Row (8) DETAILS: Give your spring wardrobe a coastal-inspired feel with the Bailey sweatshirt by EVEREVE. Finished in nautical blue-and-white stripes, this stylish pullover features a relaxed fit, flared long sleeves, and a henley neckline with grommet details. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 69% Cotton, 31% Polyester Knit Care: Machine Wash, Tumble Dry Low You’ve probably seen me wear this one already. I love the nautical-inspired blue and white stripes and the henley neckline with the grommet detail. It’s a great weight—more of a top than a sweatshirt—but it does have a terry cloth lining for that cozy feel. I also really like the boxy fit and 22″ length, which works well worn loose or front-tucked. VERDICT: Kept it! Already wore it! LNA Harrison Rib Tee at EVEREVE (M) // Frank & Eileen Derry (30) // Frankie Shacket (M) // Vionic Klara (8) DETAILS: This versatile striped tee by LNA is the perfect wardrobe essential, crafted in soft rib knit fabric with a crew neckline, slim fit, and short sleeves. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 95% Rayon, 5% Spandex Rib Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low This is a nice basic—very soft, stretchy, and easy to wear—but I didn’t love the color on me. I originally bought it to go with this shirt jacket, but the whole look just felt too murky for my taste. VERDICT: I returned this one, but it does come in solid black, which might be a nice option. Z Supply Wren Ari Floral Blouse at EVEREVE and Z Supply (S) // AG Mari (29) // rag & bone Walker (39) DETAILS: Step into spring with this gorgeous button-front blouse by Z Supply. Finished in a fun floral pattern, this peasant-style top features a flowy, relaxed silhouette, puff sleeves, and lightweight woven fabric. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 24″ Material: 52% Rayon, 48% Cotton Woven Care: Machine Wash, Tumble Dry Low, Iron Low I love how this top blends soft and edgy. The floral print is feminine, but the faded black and ecru colorway gives it a more modern, slightly edgy vibe. The split neckline is super flattering, and the drapey fabric makes it easy to wear tucked or untucked. VERDICT: Kept this one—and actually wore it out to dinner in Nashville last weekend! EVEREVE Naia Off Shoulder Pullover at EVEREVE (S) // MOTHER Dazzler Flood (30) // Margaux The Demi Flat (39) DETAILS: Update your knitwear collection with the Naia Pullover by EVEREVE, featuring an off the shoulder neckline, reverse seam details, and a relaxed silhouette. Neckline: Off Shoulder Material: 100% Cotton Knit Care: Hand Wash, Wash Cold, Dry Flat I met a friend at the EVEREVE at my local mall a few weeks ago, and this pullover caught my eye right away. I loved the black and white stripes and the boxy fit on the hanger—but I didn’t realize it was meant to be worn off-the-shoulder. That’s just not really my vibe. You don’t have to wear it that way, but the neckline is pretty wide and droopy, and the drop shoulder looks kind of awkward on me. VERDICT: I didn’t bring this one home with me. Nation LTD Betina Tank at EVEREVE, Nordstrom, and Anthro (S) // MOTHER Dazzler Flood (30) // Margaux The Demi flats (39) DETAILS: Crafted in soft, textured Pima cotton, the Betina Tank from Nation LTD features a cropped silhouette with a square neckline and gold buttons at the shoulder for a chic touch. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 19 3/4″ Material: 100% Pima Cotton Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low I really wanted to love this top. The texture and color palette are so pretty, and I love the square neckline and boxy fit. But it’s awkwardly short. I tried both the small and medium—the small fit better overall—but both lengths felt just a bit too cropped for my comfort. I think I’d need another inch or two for the proportions to feel right. VERDICT: Sadly, I left this one in the store as well. EVEREVE Nora Muscle Tee in Red at EVEREVE (S) // Pistola Charlie Straight (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: The Nora Muscle Tee by EVEREVE is the perfect spring staple, crafted in soft Pima cotton fabric with a crew neckline, relaxed fit, and raglan cap sleeves. Neckline: Crew Neck Length from Shoulder to Hem: 23″ Material: 100% Pima Cotton Knit Care: Machine Wash Cold, Do Not Bleach Now this little top, I love! I originally tried the medium, but it was a bit roomy through the armholes, so I ended up with the small. The raglan cap sleeves are super flattering, and the fabric has a really nice weight to it; it’s thicker than a lot of tees these days. I don’t know why I didn’t snap a photo of it untucked, but it hits at a nice length. I think I prefer it with a front tuck, though—it probably depends on whether I’m layering something over it. This top comes in several colors and neutrals, but I especially love this shade of orangey-red. VERDICT: I bought this one. Alex Mill Elle Cardigan in Hydrangea at EVEREVE & Bloomingdale’s (M) // Pistola Charlie Straight (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: Refresh your spring sweater collection with the Elle Cardigan by Alex Mill. Finished in a textured cotton-blend knit, this chic button-front sweater features a cropped fit, round neckline, and short sleeves. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 19″ Material: 55% Linen, 45% Cotton Knit Care: Hand Wash, Wash Cold, Dry Flat Short sleeve cardigans worn buttoned up like this one are a major trend this spring, and I do like the look. This one is such a pretty color, has a nice texture, and the contrasting buttons are a fun detail. But it’s just a smidge shorter than I prefer at 19″, and I have a feeling I’d be tugging on it all day. VERDICT: I left this one behind. Pistola Charlie Straight in Augustus at EVEREVE (29) // Alex Mill Elle Cardigan (M) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: A classic straight leg makes these Pistola jeans a versatile closet staple, crafted in comfort-stretch denim with a high-rise fit, faded blue wash, and ankle-length hems. 11″ Front Rise; 27″ Inseam; 14 1/2″ Leg Opening Material: 99% Cotton, 1% Spandex Denim Care: Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low These jeans have potential, but they just missed the mark for me. The waist felt really tight, and I didn’t quite love the overall fit from the front. (Ironically, I think they look better from the back.) I also wasn’t a fan of the wash in person; it has a slightly dirty-looking undertone that I couldn’t get past. VERDICT: These also stayed behind. EVEREVE Ever Vintage Barrel at Evereve (29) // Alex Mill Elle Cardigan (M) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: A bowed, tapered leg creates the chic silhouette of these EVEREVE barrel jeans, featuring a high-rise fit, ankle-length hems, and subtle distressing for a fresh vintage feel.  11 7/8″ Rise; 26 3/4″ Inseam; 14″ Leg Opening Material: 66% Cotton, 18% Lyocell, 10% Polyester, 5% Rayon, 1% Spandex Denim Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low This pair was a total bust. The fabric just didn’t have enough structure, and I felt like the fit wasn’t flattering at all. Let’s just say, the rear view shot isn’t going to see the light of day. VERDICT: These didn’t come home with me either! MOTHER The Insider Crop Step Fray in Out Of The Blue at Evereve, Shopbop, Bloomingdale’s & Nordstrom (29) // Nation LTD tee (M) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: This iconic high-waisted bootcut is cropped at the ankle with a frayed step-hem. Made from stretch denim, Out Of The Blue is a mid-blue wash with whiskering and fading at the knee. 10″ Rise; 27 1/4″ Inseam; 15 1/4″ Leg Opening 78% cotton, 16% modal, 4% polyester, 2% elastane Machine wash Made in Los Angeles Okay, NOW we’re talking! I shared these in last week’s Try-On Haul, but I added them after publishing the post, so some of you may have missed them. The Insider was my introduction to MOTHER denim many moons ago—who remembers these? Oh, how I loved those jeans! I actually bought a second pair when my first started looking worn. I also had a white pair, which I sadly had to retire last summer when they got too small. I wasn’t sure I was still into the crop step fray hem, but when I spotted this pretty mid-blue wash at EVEREVE, I had to try them on and see how I felt about the style now. As it turns out, I think they’re exactly what my spring/summer closet needs. The step hem might feel a little tired, but I don’t think it’s obsolete—these are still available in multiple washes and listed as a top seller on the MOTHER website. After trying them on and thinking it through, I decided they’re the perfect pair to alternate with the MOTHER Dazzler, which I wear constantly. I also think they’re more flattering on me than the PAIGE Anessa, even though I still love that pair for a cropped wide-leg option. VERDICT: I left these in the store and ordered them from Bloomingdale’s to get the sale price. Sadly, they aren’t on sale anywhere at the moment that I’m aware of, but they’re available at a lot of retailers, so I’ll keep an eye out! Nation LTD Cooper Tee at Evereve & Nordstrom (M) // MOTHER Insider Crop Step Fray (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: The Cooper Tee by Nation LTD will take you from day to night in style. Finished in Peruvian cotton slub fabric, this v-neck tee features a relaxed fit, rolled sleeves, and pleated shoulders with epaulets and gold button details. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 100% Peruvian Cotton Slub Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low I really wanted this top to work—it’s such a pretty color, and I love the soft cotton slub fabric. But even in the medium, it felt snug through the midsection, and I was hoping for a looser fit. You can also see my bra around the armholes, so I think the proportions just aren’t quite right for me. VERDICT: I left this one behind. EVEREVE EVER Rib Tank in Red mini stripe at Evereve (M) // MOTHER Insider Crop Step Fray (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: Top off your warm-weather essentials collection with the EVER Rib Tank by EVEREVE. Finished soft ribbed fabric, this versatile striped tank top features a fitted silhouette, scoop neckline, and contrasting trim at the collar and arms. Evereve Exclusive Scoop Neck Length from Shoulder to Hem: 23″ Material: 96% Modal, 4% Spandex Rib Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Delicate / Gentle Cycle, Tumble Dry Low, Use Non-Chlorine Bleach This tank, however, is a winner. The modal/spandex rib knit is super soft and stretchy, and it’s bra-friendly. I love the red and white mini stripe for summer, and the contrasting white trim at the collar and armholes gives it a little something extra. It feels more polished than your average basic. VERDICT: I purchased this—and the black mini stripe! Sanctuary Linen Bomber in Chalk at Evereve (M) // EVER Rib Tank (M) // MOTHER Insider Crop Step Fray (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: Finished in a linen-cotton blend, this stylish bomber jacket by Sanctuary is the perfect springtime layer, featuring a front zipper closure, cropped fit, and side pockets. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 21″ Material: 52% Linen, 48% Cotton Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low I have this bomber in the Kalamata color, and when I saw this Chalk version in-store, I thought it would make a nice topper for the striped tank. The linen texture is much more noticeable in the lighter shade, which gives it a breezy, casual feel. I just wish it didn’t have the slightly dropped shoulder—it adds visual weight and feels a little bulky, especially in this color. VERDICT: While I like this jacket and I’m glad I have the green, I don’t love it enough to buy it in a second color. EVEREVE Cecilia Shirred Top at Evereve (S/M) // MOTHER Insider Crop Step Fray (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: Elevate your spring wardrobe with the Cecilia top by EVEREVE. Finished with shirring at the shoulders, this breezy button-down shirt is crafted in textured linen-blend fabric with a flowy fit and rolled dolman sleeves. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 70% Viscose, 30% Linen Woven Care: Machine Wash, Tumble Dry Low, Do Not Bleach, Iron Low I was surprised by how much I liked this top! I assumed it would feel too voluminous for my taste, but it actually has a really nice drape. It’s flowy without being overwhelming, and the smocked detail adds texture without feeling fussy. The length hits that sweet spot—it’s just right to leave untucked. EVEREVE Cecilia Shirred Top, size M They didn’t have the small in-store, so I tried the medium, but I had a feeling the small might fit better, so I ordered it. It arrived this week, and I was happy I decided to wait. While the medium was fine, having less fabric through the body makes the overall shape more flattering. I just hope it doesn’t shrink in the wash! EVEREVE Cecilia Shirred Top, size S VERDICT: I’m keeping the small. LNA Dessa Muscle Tee at EVEREVE (M) // AG Mari in Gallery White (30) // Sam Edelman Deacon (8) DETAILS: Refresh your essentials collection with the Dessa Muscle Tee by LNA. This versatile sleeveless t-shirt is crafted in soft cotton fabric and features a v-neckline, relaxed fit, and seamed shoulder detail. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 100% Cotton Knit Care: Machine Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low This tank is super cute! I love the bright shade of pink and the subtle muscle tee silhouette with that seamed shoulder detail. The v-neck is really flattering, and the polished fit skims the body without clinging. At 22″ long, it’s the perfect length to leave untucked if you prefer. And here’s how it looks with a front tuck, which is also an option. I know the front tuck is kind of on its way out, but I still like it with certain tops—especially ones like this. It helps create shape through the middle, which I find more flattering. A full tuck, on the other hand, draws a horizontal line right across my midsection and tends to make it look bigger—not my goal! VERDICT: Keeping this one! It went right into my pile of clothes I plan to pack for Florida, as did these jeans. Speaking of which… AG Mari Mari Mid Rise Slim Straight Leg Crop Jeans at AG Jeans, Nordstrom & Saks (gift card offer) (30) // LNA top (M) // Sam Edelman Deacon (8) DETAILS: The Mari Crop is a mid-rise slim straight updated in bright white. These five-pocket jeans fit easy around the hips and feature a straight-leg silhouette with a slim, cropped finish. They’re crafted from 10.25 oz. Cloud Soft Stretch Denim, an exclusive AG fabric with special left-hand twill construction that allows the yarns to gently relax and untwist for a luxe, supple feel. It’s designed to get softer with every wear. Cloud Soft Stretch Denim: 93% Cotton, 5% Polyester, 2% Elastane 9 3/4″ Front Rise; 27″ Inseam; 12 3/4″ Leg Opening I’ve shared these before, but hadn’t taken the tags off because I wasn’t sure I needed another pair of white jeans. I already have a few in my closet—but when I pulled these out to try on with the pink tank earlier this week, I instantly decided they were keepers. For one thing, they are ridiculously comfortable. They honestly feel like pajamas. I’ve had other pairs of AG Mari jeans before, and while I like the silhouette, they always feel like jeans—and they’re often a bit snug at the waist. These are different. They’re super soft and lightweight, and they have just the right amount of stretch. Curious about why they felt so different, I checked the label and saw: AG Cloud Soft Denim™. That was new to me, so I looked it up, and here’s what I found: Experience our softest jeans yet, crafted from AG Cloud Soft Denim™. This super soft denim features the perfect amount of stretch and a special left-hand twill construction that allows the yarns to relax and gently untwist, creating the most luxurious feel. Designed to get even softer with every wear, it’s offered in a collection of our best-fitting jeans for men and women. From skinny fits to wide-leg styles, the selection boasts the softest women’s jeans and the softest men’s jeans in a range of must-have silhouettes and trending colors. These are guaranteed to be the most comfortable jeans you’ve ever worn. So, that explains why these jeans are noticeably more comfortable than any other AG jeans I’ve ever worn. (And I’m a fan of AG Jeans, don’t get me wrong. I used to wear my AG Legging Ankle Jeans like loungewear, but this AG Cloud Soft Denim is on another level.) VERDICT: Keeping! I’m so excited about these. White denim can feel dressy and stiff, but these feel like pajamas—while still looking fresh and polished. Highly recommend giving them a try! Sadly, these jeans are no longer on sale, but they are eligible for the Saks Gift Card Event (Spend More, Earn More) with code GIFTCDSF. Gola Viper Sneaker in Bone at Evereve (7.5) DETAILS: A sporty paneled design defines these chic low-top sneakers by Gola, featuring a neutral suede upper, contrasting sole, and white leather details. I spotted these in-store and loved the neutral colorway. It’s a nice way to branch out from white sneakers without going too bold or bright—and my brown adidas Spezials are starting to feel a little dark for this time of year. These are surprisingly comfortable, too, but they definitely run big. I sized down to a 7.5 and still have room to spare. VERDICT: Keeping! Splendid Row Fisherman Sandal at Evereve & Nordstrom (8) DETAILS: Set on an espadrille sole, the Row sandal by Splendid Footwear is perfect for your warm-weather rotation. Adjustable Buckle Platform Height: 0.2″ Material: Suede Upper, TPR Outsole I’m a little unsure about these—although I’ve clearly worn them outside, so they’re mine now! I love them in theory: they’re a great alternative to sandals or sneakers for casual days, and they’re very comfortable underfoot. But I did notice that my toes tend to catch on the strap when I walk quickly. I think it’s because my feet are on the flatter side and tend to move around a bit inside the shoe. VERDICT: I like the styling of these, but I definitely recommend walking around in them at home first to make sure they’re comfortable for your feet. They run true to size. Stay In Touch If you liked this post, be sure you’re signed up for my email newsletter. In addition to my most recent blog posts, you’ll receive exclusive newsletter content like special sales, my newest favorite finds, and an occasional peek behind the scenes — all delivered right to your inbox. 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Happy Friday, friends! I have so many new pieces to share that I’m splitting them into two posts. Since I probably have more from EVEREVE than any other retailer, I figured I’d round up all my try-ons from them in one spot. This post includes a mix of online orders and in-store try-ons, so there’s a lot to cover. I’m sharing what worked, what didn’t, and what went straight into my Florida packing pile! It’s no secret that EVEREVE is one of my favorite places to shop. They do such a great job curating pieces that feel fresh and on-trend for the everyday woman, and so much of what they carry aligns with my personal style and quality standards. I also love browsing their site for modern styling inspiration. As usual, I will provide measurements and fabric content on each item when I can find it, and I’ll share whether I plan to keep it or not. Just remember, even when I decide not to keep something, it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth checking out. I just may not need it, or it may not work for my body type or lifestyle. Spring Style Picks with Fit & Outfit Details SIZING NOTES: I’m 5’5″ and I usually wear a small or medium in tops and dresses, a 29 or 30 in jeans and pants, and a size 8 shoe. Gifted items are indicated by c/o; everything else I purchased myself. EVEREVE Lainey Denim Shell at EVEREVE (M) // MOTHER Hustler (30) // Veronica Beard Via (8) DETAILS: Round out your denim collection with the Lainey shell top by EVEREVE. Finished in a faded blue wash, this chic denim top features a sleeveless silhouette with a swingy fit. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 20 1/2″ Material: 62% Cotton, 20% Lyocell, 11% Polyester, 6% Rayon, 1% Spandex Denim Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low, Do Not Bleach Denim is trending big time this spring, from your usual jeans and shorts to tops and dresses, so I thought this little denim shell would be a fun addition to my spring wardrobe, but I don’t like it as much in person as I did online. The color shifts through the middle of the top in a way that isn’t very subtle, and while the fabric has some stretch, it’s also stiff and ends up sticking out from my midsection in an awkward way. My initial instinct was to pair this top with white jeans, but I noticed they styled it with blue denim on the website—and since denim-on-denim is a big trend right now, I figured I’d give it a shot. I tried it with my PAIGE Leenah ankle jeans, and I even swapped my slides for the fisherman-style espadrille sandals as shown on the model. VERDICT: The second look definitely feels more modern to my eye, but I still don’t love the top, so it went back. EVEREVE Jane Pullover in White/Green at EVEREVE (S) // PAIGE Leenah Ankle (29) // Splendid Row (8) DETAILS: This chic sleeveless sweater will instantly elevate your spring wardrobe, crafted in a cotton knit with a ribbed collar, rolled edges, and green stripes for a pop of color. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 100% Cotton Knit Care: Hand Wash, Wash Cold, Dry Flat, Use Non-Chlorine Bleach This is one they brought back from last spring/summer, and I’m so glad they did. I had it in the red stripe last year and loved it, but I think I like this white and green version even more. It gives a such a fresh burst of color without feeling too bold. VERDICT: Keeping! It’s true to size, but if you’re between sizes, you could probably size down. EVEREVE Alicia Tie Dye Tank at EVEREVE (M) // PAIGE Leenah Ankle (29) // Splendid Row (8) DETAILS: Add a pop of color to your spring wardrobe with the Alicia Tie Dye Tank by EVEREVE. Perfect for weekend wear, this easy-to-love tank top is crafted in cotton-blend slub fabric with a crew neckline and relaxed fit. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 23″ Material: 60% Cotton, 40% Modal Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Dry Flat I’m a sucker for tie-dye, and I really like this more subtle take on the trend. It’s made from a soft, cotton-blend slub fabric and has a flattering 23″ length with a sleeveless silhouette. You can wear it loose or do a little front-tuck if you like that look. VERDICT: Keeping! This one is definitely coming with me to Florida next week. EVEREVE Bailey Stripe Grommet Sweatshirt at EVEREVE M // PAIGE Leenah Ankle (29) // Splendid Row (8) DETAILS: Give your spring wardrobe a coastal-inspired feel with the Bailey sweatshirt by EVEREVE. Finished in nautical blue-and-white stripes, this stylish pullover features a relaxed fit, flared long sleeves, and a henley neckline with grommet details. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 69% Cotton, 31% Polyester Knit Care: Machine Wash, Tumble Dry Low You’ve probably seen me wear this one already. I love the nautical-inspired blue and white stripes and the henley neckline with the grommet detail. It’s a great weight—more of a top than a sweatshirt—but it does have a terry cloth lining for that cozy feel. I also really like the boxy fit and 22″ length, which works well worn loose or front-tucked. VERDICT: Kept it! Already wore it! LNA Harrison Rib Tee at EVEREVE (M) // Frank & Eileen Derry (30) // Frankie Shacket (M) // Vionic Klara (8) DETAILS: This versatile striped tee by LNA is the perfect wardrobe essential, crafted in soft rib knit fabric with a crew neckline, slim fit, and short sleeves. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 95% Rayon, 5% Spandex Rib Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low This is a nice basic—very soft, stretchy, and easy to wear—but I didn’t love the color on me. I originally bought it to go with this shirt jacket, but the whole look just felt too murky for my taste. VERDICT: I returned this one, but it does come in solid black, which might be a nice option. Z Supply Wren Ari Floral Blouse at EVEREVE and Z Supply (S) // AG Mari (29) // rag & bone Walker (39) DETAILS: Step into spring with this gorgeous button-front blouse by Z Supply. Finished in a fun floral pattern, this peasant-style top features a flowy, relaxed silhouette, puff sleeves, and lightweight woven fabric. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 24″ Material: 52% Rayon, 48% Cotton Woven Care: Machine Wash, Tumble Dry Low, Iron Low I love how this top blends soft and edgy. The floral print is feminine, but the faded black and ecru colorway gives it a more modern, slightly edgy vibe. The split neckline is super flattering, and the drapey fabric makes it easy to wear tucked or untucked. VERDICT: Kept this one—and actually wore it out to dinner in Nashville last weekend! EVEREVE Naia Off Shoulder Pullover at EVEREVE (S) // MOTHER Dazzler Flood (30) // Margaux The Demi Flat (39) DETAILS: Update your knitwear collection with the Naia Pullover by EVEREVE, featuring an off the shoulder neckline, reverse seam details, and a relaxed silhouette. Neckline: Off Shoulder Material: 100% Cotton Knit Care: Hand Wash, Wash Cold, Dry Flat I met a friend at the EVEREVE at my local mall a few weeks ago, and this pullover caught my eye right away. I loved the black and white stripes and the boxy fit on the hanger—but I didn’t realize it was meant to be worn off-the-shoulder. That’s just not really my vibe. You don’t have to wear it that way, but the neckline is pretty wide and droopy, and the drop shoulder looks kind of awkward on me. VERDICT: I didn’t bring this one home with me. Nation LTD Betina Tank at EVEREVE, Nordstrom, and Anthro (S) // MOTHER Dazzler Flood (30) // Margaux The Demi flats (39) DETAILS: Crafted in soft, textured Pima cotton, the Betina Tank from Nation LTD features a cropped silhouette with a square neckline and gold buttons at the shoulder for a chic touch. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 19 3/4″ Material: 100% Pima Cotton Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low I really wanted to love this top. The texture and color palette are so pretty, and I love the square neckline and boxy fit. But it’s awkwardly short. I tried both the small and medium—the small fit better overall—but both lengths felt just a bit too cropped for my comfort. I think I’d need another inch or two for the proportions to feel right. VERDICT: Sadly, I left this one in the store as well. EVEREVE Nora Muscle Tee in Red at EVEREVE (S) // Pistola Charlie Straight (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: The Nora Muscle Tee by EVEREVE is the perfect spring staple, crafted in soft Pima cotton fabric with a crew neckline, relaxed fit, and raglan cap sleeves. Neckline: Crew Neck Length from Shoulder to Hem: 23″ Material: 100% Pima Cotton Knit Care: Machine Wash Cold, Do Not Bleach Now this little top, I love! I originally tried the medium, but it was a bit roomy through the armholes, so I ended up with the small. The raglan cap sleeves are super flattering, and the fabric has a really nice weight to it; it’s thicker than a lot of tees these days. I don’t know why I didn’t snap a photo of it untucked, but it hits at a nice length. I think I prefer it with a front tuck, though—it probably depends on whether I’m layering something over it. This top comes in several colors and neutrals, but I especially love this shade of orangey-red. VERDICT: I bought this one. Alex Mill Elle Cardigan in Hydrangea at EVEREVE & Bloomingdale’s (M) // Pistola Charlie Straight (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: Refresh your spring sweater collection with the Elle Cardigan by Alex Mill. Finished in a textured cotton-blend knit, this chic button-front sweater features a cropped fit, round neckline, and short sleeves. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 19″ Material: 55% Linen, 45% Cotton Knit Care: Hand Wash, Wash Cold, Dry Flat Short sleeve cardigans worn buttoned up like this one are a major trend this spring, and I do like the look. This one is such a pretty color, has a nice texture, and the contrasting buttons are a fun detail. But it’s just a smidge shorter than I prefer at 19″, and I have a feeling I’d be tugging on it all day. VERDICT: I left this one behind. Pistola Charlie Straight in Augustus at EVEREVE (29) // Alex Mill Elle Cardigan (M) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: A classic straight leg makes these Pistola jeans a versatile closet staple, crafted in comfort-stretch denim with a high-rise fit, faded blue wash, and ankle-length hems. 11″ Front Rise; 27″ Inseam; 14 1/2″ Leg Opening Material: 99% Cotton, 1% Spandex Denim Care: Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low These jeans have potential, but they just missed the mark for me. The waist felt really tight, and I didn’t quite love the overall fit from the front. (Ironically, I think they look better from the back.) I also wasn’t a fan of the wash in person; it has a slightly dirty-looking undertone that I couldn’t get past. VERDICT: These also stayed behind. EVEREVE Ever Vintage Barrel at Evereve (29) // Alex Mill Elle Cardigan (M) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: A bowed, tapered leg creates the chic silhouette of these EVEREVE barrel jeans, featuring a high-rise fit, ankle-length hems, and subtle distressing for a fresh vintage feel.  11 7/8″ Rise; 26 3/4″ Inseam; 14″ Leg Opening Material: 66% Cotton, 18% Lyocell, 10% Polyester, 5% Rayon, 1% Spandex Denim Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low This pair was a total bust. The fabric just didn’t have enough structure, and I felt like the fit wasn’t flattering at all. Let’s just say, the rear view shot isn’t going to see the light of day. VERDICT: These didn’t come home with me either! MOTHER The Insider Crop Step Fray in Out Of The Blue at Evereve, Shopbop, Bloomingdale’s & Nordstrom (29) // Nation LTD tee (M) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: This iconic high-waisted bootcut is cropped at the ankle with a frayed step-hem. Made from stretch denim, Out Of The Blue is a mid-blue wash with whiskering and fading at the knee. 10″ Rise; 27 1/4″ Inseam; 15 1/4″ Leg Opening 78% cotton, 16% modal, 4% polyester, 2% elastane Machine wash Made in Los Angeles Okay, NOW we’re talking! I shared these in last week’s Try-On Haul, but I added them after publishing the post, so some of you may have missed them. The Insider was my introduction to MOTHER denim many moons ago—who remembers these? Oh, how I loved those jeans! I actually bought a second pair when my first started looking worn. I also had a white pair, which I sadly had to retire last summer when they got too small. I wasn’t sure I was still into the crop step fray hem, but when I spotted this pretty mid-blue wash at EVEREVE, I had to try them on and see how I felt about the style now. As it turns out, I think they’re exactly what my spring/summer closet needs. The step hem might feel a little tired, but I don’t think it’s obsolete—these are still available in multiple washes and listed as a top seller on the MOTHER website. After trying them on and thinking it through, I decided they’re the perfect pair to alternate with the MOTHER Dazzler, which I wear constantly. I also think they’re more flattering on me than the PAIGE Anessa, even though I still love that pair for a cropped wide-leg option. VERDICT: I left these in the store and ordered them from Bloomingdale’s to get the sale price. Sadly, they aren’t on sale anywhere at the moment that I’m aware of, but they’re available at a lot of retailers, so I’ll keep an eye out! Nation LTD Cooper Tee at Evereve & Nordstrom (M) // MOTHER Insider Crop Step Fray (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: The Cooper Tee by Nation LTD will take you from day to night in style. Finished in Peruvian cotton slub fabric, this v-neck tee features a relaxed fit, rolled sleeves, and pleated shoulders with epaulets and gold button details. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 100% Peruvian Cotton Slub Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low I really wanted this top to work—it’s such a pretty color, and I love the soft cotton slub fabric. But even in the medium, it felt snug through the midsection, and I was hoping for a looser fit. You can also see my bra around the armholes, so I think the proportions just aren’t quite right for me. VERDICT: I left this one behind. EVEREVE EVER Rib Tank in Red mini stripe at Evereve (M) // MOTHER Insider Crop Step Fray (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: Top off your warm-weather essentials collection with the EVER Rib Tank by EVEREVE. Finished soft ribbed fabric, this versatile striped tank top features a fitted silhouette, scoop neckline, and contrasting trim at the collar and arms. Evereve Exclusive Scoop Neck Length from Shoulder to Hem: 23″ Material: 96% Modal, 4% Spandex Rib Knit Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Delicate / Gentle Cycle, Tumble Dry Low, Use Non-Chlorine Bleach This tank, however, is a winner. The modal/spandex rib knit is super soft and stretchy, and it’s bra-friendly. I love the red and white mini stripe for summer, and the contrasting white trim at the collar and armholes gives it a little something extra. It feels more polished than your average basic. VERDICT: I purchased this—and the black mini stripe! Sanctuary Linen Bomber in Chalk at Evereve (M) // EVER Rib Tank (M) // MOTHER Insider Crop Step Fray (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: Finished in a linen-cotton blend, this stylish bomber jacket by Sanctuary is the perfect springtime layer, featuring a front zipper closure, cropped fit, and side pockets. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 21″ Material: 52% Linen, 48% Cotton Care: Machine Wash, Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low I have this bomber in the Kalamata color, and when I saw this Chalk version in-store, I thought it would make a nice topper for the striped tank. The linen texture is much more noticeable in the lighter shade, which gives it a breezy, casual feel. I just wish it didn’t have the slightly dropped shoulder—it adds visual weight and feels a little bulky, especially in this color. VERDICT: While I like this jacket and I’m glad I have the green, I don’t love it enough to buy it in a second color. EVEREVE Cecilia Shirred Top at Evereve (S/M) // MOTHER Insider Crop Step Fray (29) // Gola Viper (7.5) DETAILS: Elevate your spring wardrobe with the Cecilia top by EVEREVE. Finished with shirring at the shoulders, this breezy button-down shirt is crafted in textured linen-blend fabric with a flowy fit and rolled dolman sleeves. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 70% Viscose, 30% Linen Woven Care: Machine Wash, Tumble Dry Low, Do Not Bleach, Iron Low I was surprised by how much I liked this top! I assumed it would feel too voluminous for my taste, but it actually has a really nice drape. It’s flowy without being overwhelming, and the smocked detail adds texture without feeling fussy. The length hits that sweet spot—it’s just right to leave untucked. EVEREVE Cecilia Shirred Top, size M They didn’t have the small in-store, so I tried the medium, but I had a feeling the small might fit better, so I ordered it. It arrived this week, and I was happy I decided to wait. While the medium was fine, having less fabric through the body makes the overall shape more flattering. I just hope it doesn’t shrink in the wash! EVEREVE Cecilia Shirred Top, size S VERDICT: I’m keeping the small. LNA Dessa Muscle Tee at EVEREVE (M) // AG Mari in Gallery White (30) // Sam Edelman Deacon (8) DETAILS: Refresh your essentials collection with the Dessa Muscle Tee by LNA. This versatile sleeveless t-shirt is crafted in soft cotton fabric and features a v-neckline, relaxed fit, and seamed shoulder detail. Length from Shoulder to Hem: 22″ Material: 100% Cotton Knit Care: Machine Wash Cold, Tumble Dry Low This tank is super cute! I love the bright shade of pink and the subtle muscle tee silhouette with that seamed shoulder detail. The v-neck is really flattering, and the polished fit skims the body without clinging. At 22″ long, it’s the perfect length to leave untucked if you prefer. And here’s how it looks with a front tuck, which is also an option. I know the front tuck is kind of on its way out, but I still like it with certain tops—especially ones like this. It helps create shape through the middle, which I find more flattering. A full tuck, on the other hand, draws a horizontal line right across my midsection and tends to make it look bigger—not my goal! VERDICT: Keeping this one! It went right into my pile of clothes I plan to pack for Florida, as did these jeans. Speaking of which… AG Mari Mari Mid Rise Slim Straight Leg Crop Jeans at AG Jeans, Nordstrom & Saks (gift card offer) (30) // LNA top (M) // Sam Edelman Deacon (8) DETAILS: The Mari Crop is a mid-rise slim straight updated in bright white. These five-pocket jeans fit easy around the hips and feature a straight-leg silhouette with a slim, cropped finish. They’re crafted from 10.25 oz. Cloud Soft Stretch Denim, an exclusive AG fabric with special left-hand twill construction that allows the yarns to gently relax and untwist for a luxe, supple feel. It’s designed to get softer with every wear. Cloud Soft Stretch Denim: 93% Cotton, 5% Polyester, 2% Elastane 9 3/4″ Front Rise; 27″ Inseam; 12 3/4″ Leg Opening I’ve shared these before, but hadn’t taken the tags off because I wasn’t sure I needed another pair of white jeans. I already have a few in my closet—but when I pulled these out to try on with the pink tank earlier this week, I instantly decided they were keepers. For one thing, they are ridiculously comfortable. They honestly feel like pajamas. I’ve had other pairs of AG Mari jeans before, and while I like the silhouette, they always feel like jeans—and they’re often a bit snug at the waist. These are different. They’re super soft and lightweight, and they have just the right amount of stretch. Curious about why they felt so different, I checked the label and saw: AG Cloud Soft Denim™. That was new to me, so I looked it up, and here’s what I found: Experience our softest jeans yet, crafted from AG Cloud Soft Denim™. This super soft denim features the perfect amount of stretch and a special left-hand twill construction that allows the yarns to relax and gently untwist, creating the most luxurious feel. Designed to get even softer with every wear, it’s offered in a collection of our best-fitting jeans for men and women. From skinny fits to wide-leg styles, the selection boasts the softest women’s jeans and the softest men’s jeans in a range of must-have silhouettes and trending colors. These are guaranteed to be the most comfortable jeans you’ve ever worn. So, that explains why these jeans are noticeably more comfortable than any other AG jeans I’ve ever worn. (And I’m a fan of AG Jeans, don’t get me wrong. I used to wear my AG Legging Ankle Jeans like loungewear, but this AG Cloud Soft Denim is on another level.) VERDICT: Keeping! I’m so excited about these. White denim can feel dressy and stiff, but these feel like pajamas—while still looking fresh and polished. Highly recommend giving them a try! Sadly, these jeans are no longer on sale, but they are eligible for the Saks Gift Card Event (Spend More, Earn More) with code GIFTCDSF. Gola Viper Sneaker in Bone at Evereve (7.5) DETAILS: A sporty paneled design defines these chic low-top sneakers by Gola, featuring a neutral suede upper, contrasting sole, and white leather details. I spotted these in-store and loved the neutral colorway. It’s a nice way to branch out from white sneakers without going too bold or bright—and my brown adidas Spezials are starting to feel a little dark for this time of year. These are surprisingly comfortable, too, but they definitely run big. I sized down to a 7.5 and still have room to spare. VERDICT: Keeping! Splendid Row Fisherman Sandal at Evereve & Nordstrom (8) DETAILS: Set on an espadrille sole, the Row sandal by Splendid Footwear is perfect for your warm-weather rotation. Adjustable Buckle Platform Height: 0.2″ Material: Suede Upper, TPR Outsole I’m a little unsure about these—although I’ve clearly worn them outside, so they’re mine now! I love them in theory: they’re a great alternative to sandals or sneakers for casual days, and they’re very comfortable underfoot. But I did notice that my toes tend to catch on the strap when I walk quickly. I think it’s because my feet are on the flatter side and tend to move around a bit inside the shoe. VERDICT: I like the styling of these, but I definitely recommend walking around in them at home first to make sure they’re comfortable for your feet. They run true to size. Stay In Touch If you liked this post, be sure you’re signed up for my email newsletter. In addition to my most recent blog posts, you’ll receive exclusive newsletter content like special sales, my newest favorite finds, and an occasional peek behind the scenes — all delivered right to your inbox. 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