#also if jess had been just a little bit braver...

[pharawee]

—A SECRETLY LOVE · Episode 6

[purplebass]

Like a brother

Good evening! Today I was feeling inspired so I wrote this quick one shot with James and Matthew as the protagonists. They are having a deep conversation about people they like, and James suspects his friend still likes his sister. Now... I know that Lucie is probably going to end up with Jesse because he’s still in this dimension even if he’s dead and he has a “Jem situation” but reversed (while Jem had to die and he could live only if he became a Silent Brother, Jesse has died but technically could live with some black magic or something, I guess), I can’t help but like the small moments with Lucie and Matthew we got. It’s clear that he really likes her, but Lucie is too innocent to notice, perhaps. I mean, she’s always seen him as a brother, but we never know if he might become something more. Well, it doesn’t help matters that Math has a lot of issues, but he and Lucie wouldn’t make a bad couple at all. I don’t know why, but she is the one that would make Matthew want to become a better human being and open up. Not that he isn’t, let’s be clear. Matthew is such a complex character and I just wish he’d get his happy ending. Since the trilogy is not completed yet, we can still wish for developments on this side. Until then, there is fan fiction...

Characters: James Herondale, Matthew Fairchild, Lucie Herondale Rating: T Title: Like a Brother

“You like her, huh?”

Matthew woke up from his reverie and looked at his friend James. James might not have been perfect, but in most things, he was. He was responsible, serious, loyal. He had only loved once until then, and he suspected James never went past the kiss stage with the people he fancied.

He didn’t hate James because he was easily liked by other people. On the other hand, he loved him. Not like you loved a lover, more like a brother. James was half of his soul, he had what he missed. He was his parabatai, indeed. And James knew that there was something behind the surface and the eccentric clothes. He loved those clothes, of course. But they were also his armor, his defense. Because Matthew was aware that he did not let many people in. And if he did, it just meant that he trusted them with his life or he was too drunk to think clear.

“Who?” Matthew wondered, looking confused. “Cordelia?”

James sighed and put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. To Matthew, it just meant that he was trying to reassure him. “No, absolutely not” he answered with decision, looking away for a moment.

“Did you just blush?”

James was startled for a moment, as if he had been caught stealing his father’s Port, but then schooled his expression so it wouldn’t seem so. “Did you just try to change the topic?” He inquired, as smart as a fox. “You don’t have to answer, if you want.”

Did he want to answer? He wasn’t sure. “Why don’t we both answer?” He proposed, smirking. “To be fair, you know.”

James shook his head and put a hand on his forehead before he answered. His eyes were closed. “Ok, then I’ll go first. As always”, he said, still not looking at his friend. “Yes.”

“Yes, what? You like Cordelia?”

“Yes” he murmured, then opened his eyes abruptly and shook his head again. “No!”

Matthew was amused and laughed. James looked hurt and embarrassed. “I’m not laughing at you, Jamie. Never. You’re precious… I guess that’s how love changes you. It makes you mushy. I mean, when a person is in love, they soften. The love they feel makes them see the world with different eyes, and the things they probably loathed, less hated than before. I’m happy for you, but I don’t want to become soft.”

“You don’t want to love anybody?” James wondered, interested in his friend’s reply. He always worried about Matthew because he thought he was capable of giving a great deal of love and affection to people, but somehow, he was scared. He was scared to love, perhaps.

Matthew glanced at his hands, suddenly interested in his nails. “Love. What a fragile word. Love can break you or make you whole, depending on how you look at it. As for me, I don’t want to be whole. I like to be broken. I like to give pieces of myself to many people but actually never give them any part of me for real.”

“What if you find a person you love?”

“James. It’s enough for me that you love me. The rest of the world can burn down and I wouldn’t care,” he admitted, his voice with a tint of sadness.

“Not even Lucie?” James wondered, raising an eyebrow.

Matthew was frowning. “What about her?”

James put his hand on his parabatai’s shoulder and smiled at him. “Lucie loves you and you know it.”

“Like a brother” Matthew replied, and he seemed bitter. He was betraying his emotions. He had to stop.

James shrugged. “We grew up together and we are in that phase of life between adolescence and adulthood, which means that we are still changing. We are maturing, and we could change perspective,” he said. “Lucie is a smart girl. She hasn’t ever been in love before and she doesn’t know what love looks like. Sooner, perhaps…”

Matthew understood him perfectly. “I love how you always have the right words, bach.”

“Now you sound like my father,” he admitted, and they both laughed. “Seriously.”

“I don’t take that as an insult,” Matthew smirked. “I always admired your father.”

“You better,” James patted his back, then pulled him closer for a man-hug. It was rare for them to embrace, but James knew that his friend needed his affection more than he needed air. It was clear to him that Matthew used alcohol to cope, and he wished he would lean more on his shoulder rather than drown himself in drinks. “I love you, Math. Never forget it.”

Matthew hadn’t still gotten used to James opening his heart to him and telling he loved him as if he was greeting him. This was another thing he appreciated of James. He loved intensely, and he could feel his parabatai’s affection on himself. Had he been braver…

“By the angel, close the door next time,” a voice came from the threshold.

James and Matthew separated and smiled at each other, then looked at the intruder. “Want to join?” Asked Matthew, but then he sorts of regretted it.

Lucie’s mouth fell open and she shook her head. “I’m not into these things, Math” she glanced away. “I’m not you.”

James saw Matthew’s face crack for a second. His sister hurt him. Her words weren’t laced with disgust, but he knew they hurt either way. That was the proof that his best friend loved someone, indeed.

“You don’t even want to hug me?” James demanded, smiling.

“I’m not in the mood for hugs, brother” she sighed and crossed her arms on her stomach. She was dressed in training gear. “Cordelia is here to train with me. Do you want to join?”

The boys looked at each other and then James declared, “I’ll lend you one of my training gears, Fairchild. I know how much you don’t want to ruin your clothes.”

He nodded. “All right, I’m in.”

“I’ll wait for you upstairs,” Lucie smiled at her brother and her friend and then she walked away.

They both looked at her tiny frame turn around and disappear in the corridor. Matthew was smirking now, and he seemed a little hopeful than before. Maybe the person he liked still didn’t feel the same way he did, but for the moment wasn’t enough that he could still see her and talk to her?

“Come on, let’s get changed,” James hurried him, and the day seemed a bit better. And he still hadn’t had a drink yet that day. He wished it could be that way all the time.

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Outside the Rain - Harry styles Series (Part 18)

Part 17

You groaned rolling over on the other side of your bed. Your body was stiff and you were still exhausted, but the urge to pee was preventing you from staying asleep. You pushed yourself up and out of the bed, moving slowly with half closed eyes walking towards the bathroom. When you were finished, you sleepily made your way back to the bed. The morning sun was shining in through your window and you sighed knowing you were due to get up in a little over an hour. 

You laid back down in the bed, when you realized something. You sat up, rubbing your eyes, and looked around your room. Harry’s bags were over in the corner of the room, his clothes from the previous night were laid on the chair, yet he wasn’t in bed or in the room. Now, you were confused, had his things not been in the room, you would have thought you dreamt him being there. 

Knowing you wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, you decided to go ahead and get up, despite still being tired. Your muscles ached from the previous night’s video shoot and you knew your body would only be put to the test when it came to the performances you had lined up and tour next year. 

You tried taming your hair a bit before you walked downstairs in search of your boyfriend. He was nowhere to found. You were just about to check your phone, when you saw Harry at the door with a bag and some to go coffee cups in his hand. 

“So, that’s where you went,” you laughed when he walked inside. 

“Sorry, I was hoping to be back before you woke up, but I got stuck in traffic,” he said. 

“It wouldn’t be LA if you didn’t get stuck in traffic,” you laughed taking the coffees from him and heading over to sit down. 

“How are you feeling this morning?” He asked. 

“Like I got hit by a truck,” you sighed. “These rehearsals and everything are really taking a toll on me. I can’t believe I’m this out of shape. I workout at least five times a fucking week.” 

“Yeah, but I’ve seen what you girls do and that’s braver than any marine or anything one can do at the gym,” he said pulling the breakfast sandwiches out of the bag. “And you only workout like what an hour and call it quits. But yet what you’re doing now is like three or more.” 

“You did not just meme me,” you laughed. 

“I did and you laughed!” He pointed at you. 

“Because I can’t believe it,” you pointed at him. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he said taking a bite. “I’m funny and you know it.” 

“You wish,” you smirked. 

“Would you like to finish that sandwich?” He asked. “Because I won’t hesitate to take it out of your hands.” 

“And I won’t hesitate to kick you in the balls,” you said. 

“Don’t joke about that,” He winced. 

“Don’t joke about my breakfast sandwich,” you said. 

“You know sometimes I wonder which you love more, breakfast sandwiches are me,” he joked. 

“Definitely breakfast sandwiches,” you answered with a mouthful.

“Glad to see where I stand,” he laughed. 

**

Later that morning, just as you were about to get ready for your lunch meeting, you got an email saying it was postponed until tomorrow, which you were super happy about. Not only because you didn’t feel up having a meeting, but because Harry was there and you wanted to spend time with him. 

“So, I’ve got some great news!” You smiled walking into the living room, where Harry was searching around on Netflix. “The meeting has been moved to tomorrow, thank god.” 

You walked over sitting down on the couch next to Harry. 

“Then I guess that means I have you all to myself for the rest of the day?” He asked wrapping his arm around your shoulder. 

“That you do, until I fall asleep,” you laughed. 

He smiled kissing your head and wrapping a blanket around the two of you. You laid your head on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his torso as you two watched a random movie. Your eyes started to feel heavy and you couldn’t control it more before giving in and falling asleep. 

Harry knew you would fall asleep as soon as your head hit his shoulder. He could tell you were exhausted and to be quite honest it worried him a little bit. You were only just getting back into the scheme of things with the group and you were already pushing your limits. He knew what that was like and while he loved every minute of it, it was also from taxing on him physically and emotionally. 

He knew you were happy with how things were going and being back with the girls, but he could also see you would hit a breaking point soon. There were bags under your eyes, you were looking a smidge bit skinner due to the rehearsing schedule sending your metabolism into overdrive, and when you weren’t working, you were spending your time with him. 

Part of him wonders if him surprising you was actually a good idea or not. Had he not been there, then maybe you would actually get the proper rest you needed. He didn’t want you to feel like you had to entertain him the entire time. He looked down at you as you slept softly and peacefully at his side. He repositioned himself, so that he could move and let you sleep more comfortably on the couch. He ran his fingers through your hair as he watched the movie before eventually falling asleep himself. 

**

Later that day, you woke up to the smell of something in the kitchen. You were still on the couch in the living room and music was being played softly in the background. You sat up, rubbing your eyes before getting up and walking into the kitchen. You instantly noticed the sunset and you couldn’t believe you slept the entire day. 

“I’m sorry,” you sighed looking at Harry who was stirring something in a pot on the stove. 

Harry turned around, “For what?” 

“For sleeping so long,” you said walking over to him. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he said wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “You need the rest.”

“Yeah, I did,” you nodded. “I feel a little better now.” 

“And that’s all that matters,” he smiled kissing your head. 

“What are you cooking?” You asked peeking over into the pot. 

“Soup,” he smiled. 

“Interesting,” you said. “I didn’t even know I had anything to make soup with.” 

“Well, you didn’t, so I went to the store,” he laughed.

“God, Im such a horrible girlfriend,” you sighed. “You came all the way here to surprise me and I’ve not spent anytime with you.”

Harry sighed turning to look at you taking your hand into his, “You are not a horrible girlfriend, far from it, actually.” 

You wrapped your arms around his waist, placing your head on his chest, “Thank you for being here.” 

“Anytime,” he smiled wrapping his arms around you. 

You looked up at him, puckering your lips, “I want a kiss,” you laughed. 

He laughed placing his hands on your face as he leans down pressing his lips against yours. 

**

It was the next day and you all had a quick rehearsal run through before your meeting at lunch. You still weren’t feeling 100%, but sleeping he prior day and having Harry there to take care of you definitely helped. After you two ate the soup he made for dinner, he ran you warm bath to help relax you before you both laid down in the bed, cuddling while watching another movie. 

Speaking of Harry, he attended the rehearsals, wanting to see what you were working on. You had a few appearances coming up and you all need to practice for them. You were dripping with sweat and you only had been running through the routines for half an hour. You just finished another song, when you started feeling a little dizzy. Luckily, there was a quick water break, so you sipped on some water and tried calming yourself down. 

“Okay, we’ve got enough time to run through it, one more time,” Daisy said. 

You nodded wiping sweat from your forehead. Harry looked up from his phone, eyebrows furrowed as he looked over at you. He was really concerned about you, but he didn’t want to make a big scene about it. Plus, i was only one more time, so surely you would be okay after it. 

However, halfway through the song, when you were doing a turn, you lost your balance as your knee gave out. You dropped to the ground in pain holding your leg as you cried out. Everyone stopped what they were doing and rushed to your side. 

“Y/N!” Daisy said. “What’s wrong?” 

“My fucking knee,” you cried. “Fuck.” 

“Get some ice,” Daisy shouted. “From the cooler.” 

“Should we call an ambulance?” Rachel asked. 

“No,” you groaned. 

“Can you even move to walk?” Jess asked. 

Harry darted over with a small bag of ice, placing it on your severally swollen knee, “Baby, we need to get you to the hospital.” 

“It hurts to move,” you sniffled. “Fuck me, this hurts like a fucking bitch.” 

Harry grabbed the keys to you car from his back pocket, “Here, go unlock the car, while I pick her up and carry her,” he told Jess. 

She quickly took them from her and headed straight for the parking lot. Harry placed his arms underneath you before gently picking you up causing you to wince. 

“I need you to hold onto me,” he said. “And hold your leg out straight.” 

You cried into his chest as he carried you out of the studio and to the car. Jess already had the car door open, so he placed you inside as gently as he could before putting the icepack back on your knee. The pain was so severe you started feeling nauseous. 

“Maybe we should call an ambulance,” Daisy sniffled. 

“We don’t have time,” Harry said. “Can someone ride with us? And the rest follow behind.” 

“I will,” Daisy said getting in the car. 

Harry nodded getting into the driver’s side as he flew to the hospital. He knew while this injury was serious, it wasn’t life-threatening. However, hearing your wails and curses of pain, broke his heart because he wanted nothing more than to take it from you. When he finally pulled into the parking lot of the Emergency Room, he helped get you out of the car, carrying you inside until he a nurse brought over a wheelchair. 

“What happened?” She asked. 

“Knee injury,” he said quickly. “While dancing. It’s swollen pretty badly and she’s in a lot of pain.” 

“I think I’m going to be sick,” you groaned. 

“Let’s get her back to a room,” the nurse said, luckily the ER was not super busy during that time. 

Harry and Daisy went to follow the nurse, but she stopped them, “We need to get her settled and run some tests,” she said. “We will come get you when she can have visitors.” 

They both nodded, walking over to the waiting room. Harry sat down, his legs bouncing up and down as his nerves took over his body. Tears filled his eyes, so he quickly wiped them away. 

“She’s going to be,” Daisy whispered. “It’s probably just a sprain.” 

“God, I hope so,” he sighed. 

He hoped and prayed that the injury wouldn’t be all that serious and would only take maybe a few days or weeks to recover from. Because he knew if it wasn’t, and it affected the upcoming tour and appearances you all have worked so hard for, you would be extremely upset and felt like you let everyone down. 

He also blamed himself, he could see you were exhausted and your body needed a break. Maybe if your schedule wouldn’t have been so hectic with dance rehearsals, then your body would have been under so much pressure. But it was too late to worry about what if’s and what could have been done differently. All that matter now was you being okay and it not ruining everything you had worked so hard for these last few months. 

**

Uh-Oh! Poor Y/N! 

Also, don’t forget to send in any ideas you might have for my new Christmas Series, Someone Special, by Friday night! :) 

[theonethatwatchesalotofshows]

My Take on Rory Gilmore's Boyfriends

I've been a part of the Gilmore Girls fandom for a while now and I've seen a big Team Dean vs Jess vs Logan debate going on (although there are maybe only like 10 people who are still team Dean). That's why I decided to analyze all three of Rory's major love interests from the show's original run (I haven't seen the revival). This is going to be a really long meta.

I kind of understand why Dean appealed to Rory at the beginning. He understood her references, came from a cool city and seemed really intersted in her. Rory in the pilot is very young, shy and inexperienced and had probably never had a crush or found out that a boy had a crush on her. Rory and Dean then go on to have a sweet and innocent relationship that looks good on paper. He called her every night, took her on her first dance and her first date, gave her her first kiss and even built her a car. They seem like the perfect couple to Lorelai, Babette, Miss Patty and the rest of the town. However the truth is very different. Dean is obssessive, possessive, jealous, clingy and clearly has some anger managment issues. Nobody on this show spotted all of these red flags though. Everyone acts as if Rory and Dean are the cutest couple. With Dean Rory's the Stars Hollows' golden Rory. The sweet, innocent, good girl. The more I think about it, I don't think Rory actually ever really loved Dean. She was cheating on him constantly. Not physically, apart from that one kiss with Jess on Sookie's wedding, but emotionally. And Dean can see it. On the Dance-A-Thon when Dean finally has enough after a year of flirty banter between Jess and Rory, he yells: "You don't wanna be with me!" Rory says: "Yes, I do!" but it doesn't sound convincing at all. After their third and final breakup Rory doesn't even seem to be sad. Maybe a little bit, but that is because he once again humiliated her by dumping her in public. She gets over it very quickly and has fun with Logan. My guess is Rory never truly loved Dean. She liked the idea of the kind of relationship she could have with Dean. She liked who she is when she's with Dean. She loved the idea, the ideolized version of Dean. But not Dean himself.

Remember how in Cinnamon's Wake (1x05) Lorelai says: "Someday you'll meet a guy and he'll make your head all foggy and you won't know what to do with yourself." Well, Jess is that guy for Rory. Unlike with Dean, Rory was actually in love with Jess. Her feelings for Jess are much more passionate and intense than anything she'd ever felt before. She's never felt this way with Dean. With Jess, Rory stops being Stars Hollows' sweetheart and starts being herself and doing her own things. This is exactly why I love Jess and Rory so much- they can be themselves around each other. Unlike Dean, who wanted Rory to be what he imagined his ideal wife to be like, Jess wants Rory to stay true to herself no matter what. While they were dating, it seemed to me that Rory was missing Dean at times. But after I've given it some thought, I think she was missing the kind of boyfriend Dean was- calling 15 times a night, leaving 20 smothery messages on her answering machine, wanting to spend every waking hour with her and basically having his entire life revolve around her. I rolled my eyes whenever she compared Jess to Dean but then I watched season 6 and she did the same thing with Logan. After he cheated on her on their break she was quick to point out Dean would never do that. She has Dean on a pedestal Lorelai put him on. Lorelai was the one who pushed them together and insisted that he's the one for her. Lorelai was the one that went on and on about what a great boyfriend Dean is. Even the statement: "Dean taught me what safe feels like." couldn't possibly come from Rory's head. Throughout their relationship we see Rory is afraid to tell Dean things, so she couldn't possibly feel safe with him. No, that statement clearly comes from Lorelai's head. Because it's Lorelai who feels safe not Rory. She thinks Dean is the safe option for Rory because he never got her into any trouble or danger unlike Jess (the car crash, skipping school) or Logan (stealing a boat). Of course Rory thinks her mother is always right so she too started believing Dean is a genuinely good guy. But she really truly loves Jess. She loves that they can connect on a deeper level and that he shares her love for books. She loves how sweet and funny he is. Their romance is short due to his inability to communicate, but it's clear he never got over her. It seemed to me that Rory got over him surprisingly quickly, but then I watched 7x02 where Rory finds out Lorelai slept with Chris and yells at her: "When you break up with someone you get an ugly post breakup haircut! You don't sleep with dad!" And that's when I realized that's what Rory's season 4 bob was. Rory truly was heartbroken over Jess. She actually kind of says so in 4x13 when she admits she had been imagining hundreds of different scenarios about them reuniting. She just didn't want to admit it to Lorelai and to town. Because they had been saying so all along. Jess is bad and he'll break your heart. So she put on a brave face to prove them wrong.

I've met a few Logans in my life and I do not find them charming at all. Similarly, I didn't like Logan the first time he appeared on screen. And I could see that neither did Rory. However as she started to warm up to him, so did I. He's more than just an immature, spoiled brat that throws his daddy's money around. He turned out to be a great boyfriend to Rory. He was sweet, considerate and supportive. It's actually the opposite of Jess who I love as a chacter but turned out not to be a very good boyfriend. Logan brings Rory out of her comfort zone and makes her a much braver and adventurous person. Their love started as a meaningless fling but turned into a beautiful and mature relationship that lasted three years. They even made long distance work. However, he was also a bad influence on her. With Logan Rory broke into broke into the school cafeteria at night and stole cereal and ice cream in the name of 'fun', stole a boat (yes it was her idea but he didn't do much to talk her out of it) and dropped out of Yale. Logan even stole from her grandparents and she just shrugged it off and let an innocent maid get fired for it. It a way, Logan brought out the worst in Rory. Some might argue that he's the only one who gives her autonomy and lets her make her own mistakes which is great but he also made her more spoiled. She spent months not doing anything but planning parties for the DAR, drinking and partying and he supported her in it. After Jess talked some sense into her she told Logan that she's unhappy with her lifestyle that consists entirely of partying and he just yelled at her and then went off to sleep with his sister's bridesmaids. Honestly, that was the point when she should have dumped him and taken Jess back but she didn't do that because her feelings for Jess were already gone. He broke her trust when he left town without saying goodbye. So now she's in love with Logan. The more I think about it, she probably loved him much more than she ever loved Jess. She was willing to give him a second chance and they lasted much longer. It must have really hurt her when he broke up with her when she chose herself and her carreer but I think she chose right. I actually really liked the ending because Rory went into the world as a strong and independent woman, just like her mom. I like that we didn't get a tradition Hollywood ending like "I got off the plane!" but rather a feminist one.

[ryoshan]

whew this idea came so spur of the moment so scuse the reused banner. so it’s christmas right? i hope you’re all having a wonderful day regardless whether you celebrate or not, and to those having rubbish days: don’t worry, it’ll be over soon, and in the meantime there’s always wholesome videos of an elderly british gay man who loves dogs on yt! this christmas also marks a year (ish, since i don’t remember the exact day we opened blogs) since me and @gainhope​ joined rwby rp on tumblr. back then we were just a yang and a ruby, now we here covering most of the cast between us!  

now, i know the rwby rpc has had its up and downs over the last year, but for me (despite the few months where the hiatus totally got the better of me) it’s been a majority of ups. i don’t think i’ve ever connected with a community so strongly since 2012 dragon age rpc before inquisition came out. i don’t think i’ve ever made so many close friends so fast, and it’s those that make an rp experience, in my humble opinion. so here’s a little list of the people i personally want to thank. please don’t be sad if you’re not mentioned!! this isn’t a follow forever, it’s not a bias list, it’s a shout-out to the friends that have made the last year in rwby rp as fulfilling as it has been. 

best friend squad

@gainhope​ / you’re the ruby to my yang, the rose to my white. there’s so much i could say about you that can’t fit in a single paragraph. i wouldn’t be here at all if it weren’t for you, but it’s so much bigger than that, because our friendship has been a staple in my life long before you introduced rwby to it. i wouldn’t be half the person i am without the love and support you’ve given me, and it’s been a damn pleasure to watch you grow in every aspect of your life too. we’ve seen each other through some tough times in the last year, and we’ve had some of the most fun i’ve had all year too. life isn’t nearly as big and scary, no matter what’s going on, while i have you by my side. i love you more than anything, and here’s to another year writing infinites together. 

@galateian​ / again i cant fit everything i could say about you in one paragraph. you’ve supported me through some incredible bollocks, you’ve suffered through glasgow on friday night with me, and our discord pins are a source of such utter joy i’ll never be sad again. i can talk to you about anything, and i fcuken do, and i don’t know where i’d be through more than just this last year without you. can you believe it’s been what, six years? i sure can’t, and here’s to six more, possibly in guam, definitely with no less than 16 dogs and an absolute shed load of ugly furniture, loved like only we can. ily jen. 

@nvvrrmorr​ / holy shit can you even believe it’s been almost a year since i drunkenly dragged you into a long conversation where i danced around the ‘hey maybe winter and raven should fuqqq 👀’ thing? we got so close so fast and i can’t thank you enough for sticking around past some Weird Relationship Drama you got roped into so early in our friendship, cause frankly, this year would have been a lot emptier without you in it. i love you to bits, i love our late night overwatch sessions, i love the unerring support you give me even when i’m legitimately being shit, and i love how easily we write,,, anything and everything together. bring on 2019 aye? 

@liluura​ / we’ve come so far from me (anxiously) and jess dragging you into some cracky banter (and you being too dang FAST for our punchline) to walking down the streets of amsterdam telling you about the last time i took a shit. it’s incredible how quickly we became close, and even more incredible that not an inch of that closeness has been lost in a year where our interests have aligned, and then not, and then come together again. thank you for being you, and for being there for me, especially through one of the scariest few days of my life. i would have made it home without you after the netherlands debacle, i’m sure, but not nearly as calm having spent almost the whole day with you. i love you, soph, and i hope we’ve got many more years of friendship ahead of us. 

the rarest of peeps / @washuman, @herguidance, @thuskindlyiscatter​ / you guys are absolute treasures to me. we don’t talk every day, but i’m always comfortable approaching yous with the most ridiculous of things. all three of you have written such fantastic stuff with me from sad siblings, to multiple developed ships. the things you have in common? fucken rarepairs man. pour one out for cinwin, glynter and catrilia to be quite fucken honest. also, all three of yous support my need to talk about charlie nonstop, so thank you. 

horny bastards / @gcrdens & @hoardofheroes​ / ofc i had to mention you two together. it’s been pretty recent that i’ve gotten to know you two, but i couldn’t not include yous on this post because of the sheer impact you’ve had in such a short amount of time. you’ve both made me a braver smut writer. it’s not the only thing i love about your writing by far, but there’s something so refreshing about seeing yous unashamedly write your muses making babies (literally) all over the dash. yous are inspiring, and i hope we stay friendly for a long time. 

team rryp! / @veiliisms, @paramithi, @ancestryfated​ (and dee, whose blog i can’t fucken find) / listen guys, we might not all talk as much as we did once upon a time, but team rryp will always hold a special place in my heart as being a time i dove into social interaction with (almost) strangers and lived to tell the tale. it might not seem like a big deal, but sending dabbing asks of all things as part of a group made it so much easier in the long run to approach people in future and man, what a great way to do it. i love you guys so much. 

special mention / @lunyrd​ / not only have you been like a happy cheerleader behind me constantly throughout my rp experience, you’re a gem in my twitter feed as well. a day i wake up and you’ve tagged me in a tweet is a good damn day. lets do more writing this year, aye? i’ll get my finger out and get some starters up! 

honorable mentions! / last but not least, maybe we don’t talk a lot or rp a lot (which should change js), but you guys have blessed my rp experience in some way, be it liking mosts or just filling the dash with inspiring content. i love you guys. / @tadmean, @wellbloomed, @canefought, @tyriannical, @becomeshield, @becomestorm, @gracedly 

[mcsmlightnings]

Chapter 5. Not alone.

I cut down anoter birch and took some birch wood blocks, two saplings and even an apple. I looked at the fruit, fighting desperation to eat it. But I was not allowed to eat anything exept that one loaf of bread they gave me every evening. So I sighed and put all the drop in a small chest behind me. Yeah, even although I had been cutting these stupid trees down, I had never kept any drop. Four guars, who surrounded me, watched my every move, ready to attack if I do something that is considered to be dangerous. But, of course, I didn't even try to. What was the point?

Suddenly I saw something moving behind a tree, not so far from me. I only mentioned it moving, but had no idea about what it was. Probably, another hallucination.

I've been imprisoned for almost a year, and my mental health was really unstable. Througout this time I had been having nightmares and hallucinations, as well as fear of darkness, which somehow became stronger, than ever before. However, no one cared. To everybody I was just an imprisoned villain, who would take every opportunity to escape. To be honest, there were times when I actually thought about escaping.

Probably if I were braver, I would have at least tried to. So what stopped me? My fricking cowardice. Oh, yeah, I was so scared to even try! I knew that I wouldn't be able to live behind the bars much longer, but at least now I was alive. This was the main reason I begged Jesse to take me with him, wasn't it?

I shook these thoughts off and continued cutting the trees down. Then I suddenly felt someone watching be and turned around, only to be met with sharp blades near my chest. But then... Then I saw someone else.

They stood near a small lake, in the shadow of a huge oak. I couldn't see their face or even recognise the gender of this person since they wore a black cape and a black hood, hiding their body. The next moment they just disappeared, like there was nobody even close to that spot!

- What are you looking at? - One of the guards asked.

- There was a person. There, near that lake!

Then a few things happened in the same moment. Two of my guards turned around but weren't fast enough to see anybody. John, strong bald guard with dark skin and gray eyes, punched me in my stomack. I fell on the ground, groaning in pain.

- Why?! - I looked up and froze, seeing four sharp blades pointing directly at me. - Wh...What have I done?!

- Try lying to us one more time, criminal, and you will rot in your smelly cell forever! - John should, grabbing my forearm and pulling me on feet. - Now grab your little axe and cut all these trees down, or else.

I had no need to be reminded of my powerless-ness. But even when I quetly obeyed and continued working, I couldn't forget that figure. I was sure it wasn't just a plot of my imagination - they felt so real! And, yeah, their non-human speed and reaction were creepy, but what actually freacked me out was the fact that whoever they were, they were watching me. I mean, my brain wasn't so damaged it created such a good hallucination. It wouldn't be possible... Would it?

One good thing about community service - after few months you learn to ignore these hours of doing stuff. That was what happened: suddenly I realised it was almost sunset. So I finished with the last oak, put all the drop in the chest and closed my eyes, breathing freely. Man, I love sunsets! Then I turned to my escort and held out my wrists. The cold metallic cuffs wrapped around and I felt somebody's grip on my forearm. Without waiting for an order to move, I started walking towards the prison. Just another day in this world. I got used to beeing a prisoner, I just wished I could see Maya and Gill more often. I hadn't talked to them since the court but I knew they had to show people crafting recipies.

- Stop! - I suddenly heard and my instincts made me obey.

I turned around and saw another guard, Harry. And he was furious - his fingers were flenched into fists, his brown eyes shot lightings.

- Is something wrong? - One of my guards, Robert asked. I wasn't allowed to talk, so I kept my mouth shut.

Harry walked to me, almost growling. Okay, now I was a little bit freaked out. Everyone on the meadow, which was chosen to be the center of the new-born town, turned around.

- Now you are going to tell me where they are, and I will let you live your pathetic life, understand?

All right, now it was my turn to talk.

- I'm sorry, but what are you talking about?

Instead of answering me, Harry punched me in the face. Long imprisonment did its job - my reaction became worse and I couldn't duck. I fell on the ground and felt blood in my mouth. Then somebody grabbed me and pulled on my feet, only to push me into some wall. Harry pressed his sword against my throat, making it hard to breathe.

- One more chance, criminal! Where did you hide them?

I struggled to get away from this madman when I heard familiar furious voice. Harry stepped away and I fell on the ground. I wasn't able to stand up since my hands were still cuffed but then I felt somebody pulling me up. Harry held my forearm tightly, spreading the pain through my body.

- What in a world is going on here?! - The Founder asked, walking to us.

- Ma-am, this prisoner stole the apples!

Wait, what?

- He did what? - Milo asked, standing near the Founder.

- No, no I didn't! - I tried to answer but Harry punched me again.

- Today he was cutting the trees down and putting the drop into the chest. There also were some apples, but when we were sorting the drop we found none!

Alright, now I was scared and confused. I remembered some apples that I'd got from trees but was sure I'd put them in the chest.

- That's impossible, - I gasped. - I put everything I got into the chest!

- Shut up! - Harry shouted right into my ear. - You stole them!

- Aiden, you better confess now. - The Founder demanded.

- But I didn't do anything! - I was almost crying.

Milo sighed and looked at Harry.

- Empty his inventory.

The guard gladly followed the order only to find out I had nothing. But this didn't stop him from framing me.

- Of course he doesn't have them with him. Because he ate them!

- No, no-no-no, I didn't! - Of course, nobody listened to me. - I was watched all day, I wouldn't have time to!

- How about the time when you distracted the guards and tried to escape? - John came closer.

- It-It lasted barely a few seconds! And there-there was a person! And I didn't try to escape, honestly!

The Founder looked at me with hate and disgust. Then she looked at Harry and John.

- Throw him in his cell. I'll talk to him later.

My eyes widened as I tried to say something, but guards started dragging me away, cleary not caring if they hurt me.

- No, wait, please, stop! - I screamed. - Please, wait, I didn't do anything! No no no, come on, please!

But they didn't listen. They punched me with a lot of force and threw me in my cell.

- I think you've had enough food for today. - Spitted Harry.

They left me, slamming the door behind them. I was crying, my tears mixed with my blood.

- No no no no no! - I whispered with my shaking voice. It was hard to breathe, I could feel my crazy heartbeat in my toes. I heard unnatural, imaginary voices in my head and I screamed, trying to save myself from this insanity.

- Shut up, shut up, shut up!

I stood up and started hitting the wall. Scarlet blood poured from my wounded fists and head, it was everywhere. I fell on the cold floor, and started rolling, wanting these voices to get away. Suddenly everything stopped. I slowly sat and started shaking, my clothes were wet because of my tears, sweat and blood.

- Make it end. - I begged.

Then I heard a familiar voice.

- Aiden, man, it'll be alright.

I looked around the room but there was nothing. Was I going out of my head?

- We're here, boss.

Only one person I knew called me like that. I tried to stand up but failed and collapsed on the floor.

- Over here, Aiden.

I crawled to the wall that seperated me from the other Blaze Rods. Could it be?

- M-Maya? Gill? - I whispered. Oh, please, let them be real!

- It's us, boss. - Gill's voice was silent.

I weeped some tears and blood from my face.

- But... But how?

- Gill has been trying to make a hole in this wall since we were thrown here. - Maya answered. - There're no guards here at night, so we can talk. We... We are sorry about what happenned, Aiden. But we are here for you.

I couldn't bare it and started crying again. Leaning against the wall. After everything I've done they still were here.

- Even... Even after all these times you've suffered because of me?

- Always. - Maya's and Gill's voices sounded as one.

[bentchcreates]

Start Here, Stories of First Encounters 

Let me just say this right off the bat, I’m giving this 6 of 5 Stars! First of all, the editors and my co-authors deserve the 5.5 of 5 Stars. This is my favorite book this year, cheesy for me to say, but it is! I’m giving a half star more for my own story because I’m very proud of this, okay? :P I’ll talk more about that on a separate blog post, haha.

To begin, I want to thank the editors (and our PM, Hi Mina!) for coming up with this anthology. The intros by Ron and Brij, in itself, were already strong messages to those who are looking for contemporary romance that represents Filipinos of this time, LGBTQIAP or not. It perfectly put out the reasons behind the conception of this anthology, as well as the hope that this sparks a flame towards more Queer Romance and Queer HEA in Philippine Literature.

1. In the Moonlight by Agay Llanera

This was a sweet start to set the tone for the rest of the stories. It’s an awesome sequel to my other favorite, Another Word For Happy. And like what I said in my review for AWFH last year, Caleb seems to have been made after my own heart.

I wish I was exaggerating, but the indecision, the awkward reaction to ‘the kiss’, the hyperawareness to the smallest of things, IT ME! When I was Caleb’s age, at least. LOL. And I’m sure a lot of gay people (maybe not even gay people, everyone, really) will find it relatable one way or another.

What Caleb is better than me, though, is his courage towards the end of the story. He did something I never would’ve been able to do. And I hope when others read this, they’d be inspired to be braver, too.

2. Come Full Circle by Bobbi Moran

I love me some slow burn romance and huhu, the slow burn in this one killed me (in a good way!).

This short felt quite episodic as the characters are shown through different stages of them finding themselves – and eventually, love – but that slow progression allowed me to really root for them to be together at the end.

I found the attention to detail fascinating (especially the architectural ones when Alana and Marion went on a holiday) but what I loved most about this is the accuracy of tiptoeing in a relationship when one is still unsure where the other one stands. I mean, relationships are already complicated without the whole guessing-and-hoping-the-other-one-plays-on-the-same-team narrative, but add in sexual confusion (and tension!) and you’re in for a wild, but nonetheless more interesting, ride. This story tied to a full circle satisfyingly.

3. Gorgeous by Motsie Dapul

This is probably my first F/enby romance and it certainly lived up to its title. This might also be the first fiction story I’ve read using the singular they/them pronoun and while it took me about a minute to re calibrate my [faulty] sense of grammar, it wasn’t jarring and it told Jays and the MC (I’m not 100% sure she was named, I need to reread the story, stat!)more genuinely for me.

It is also somewhat a variation of the enemies to lovers trope which is always interesting. I’m happy to note that there is grovel. :) 

I think what I want to focus more about this story is how something that happened years ago, something that seemed small and irrelevant to you, might mean a whole different world to another person. And simple things like words said haplessly, or actions that weren’t well thought of in our youth, could still impact us as adults no matter how much we’ve changed in the time in between.

This story tells and awesome story of discovering one’s self, discovery of love, and acceptance of the MC’s past, present and future with Them. :)

4. Shipping Included by Danice Sison

Can this be any cuter?? <3 <3 <3

I will admit that I didn’t get all the KPop references but I know those who are knowledgeable (and obsessed) with oppas will appreciate and enjoy this.

Done in alternating POVs between the protagonists, David and Kiko, the story’s strength lay on the well-rounded characterization of the heroes, as well as the kids who made their meetcute extra cute! There is a glimpse of what it must be like to be a Filipino KPop fan while also focusing the spotlight on those who don’t share the dedication but support their loved one’s hobbies nonetheless.

The Kuya and Tito may not be in their girls’ fandoms but Kpopocalypse gave them (all of us, really) a different reason to swoon and make fingerhearts at each other.  

5. Delubyo by Barbie Barbieto

This is beautifully written.

This was the first work from the author that I’ve read and I loved it so much, it made me seek out her other work. Haha. The style and flow of words are smooth and easygoing, it hooked me up real quick.

Add to that is Pebbles’ odd four-month relationship rule which I thought was mean at first, but actually makes so much sense and is understandable from someone who’s constantly afraid to put her heart on the line. Still, I don’t tolerate it. (I loved this so much, I’m super invested and I want to have a talk with Pebbles bec huhu, the poor ex-girlfriends! LOL)

I love the progression of her feelings towards Gabrielle, told brilliantly somewhere in the middle of the story – after that awesome beginning! It made the ending such a relief and a source of immense kilig!

6. The Other Story by H. Bentham

*sly grin emoji*

7. Blooms and Hues by Ella Banta

I loved the softness of the themes in this short story, reminiscent of Gay YA fiction I used to devour in college (from foreign authors like Brian Sloan, Alex Sanchez, John Hall, etc.) and the short films I still find on YouTube from time to time.

It is a lovely addition to this anthology, despite not being heavy on the romance like the other stories, especially since being queer in this country, love, relationships - and matters of the heart in general - are less likely to be this soft and dreamy. (At least during my time as an actual young adult. IDK, maybe kids these days are allowed this gay tenderness we weren’t given access to. It wasn’t even such a long time ago, I mean…anyway, that’s not what this review is all about. I got distracted. lol)

The artistic MC and LI are adorable. And flowers! I’m never not in love with stories where flowers come into play.

8. Another First by Yeyet Soriano

I admit that I felt scared to continue with this once it was established that Jess, the MC, is in a long term relationship at the beginning of the story. I dislike scenes with messy break-ups due to cheating, but I soldiered on and was greatly relieved that this didn’t go that way.

I liked that the characters acted like the adults that they are and that this did not turn into a rehash of popular love-triangle telenovela plots. I especially loved the part where things had to settle down and fall into place for all characters (Jess, Lili and even Matt) separately at first – on a personal level – before the romance could be resolved. It showed a healthy depiction of self-discovery and acceptance a little bit later in life.

9. Luck from the Skies by Katt Briones

This one I’ve actually read before the book came out and ugh, rereading it second, third and fourth time did not make it less wonderful! The characters have supporting roles from Katt’s other book, Chasing Mr. Prefect, but the timeline here is before that book’s time.

I liked the fictional artista/modeling angles and the progression of friendship between Chan and Asher towards a romantic ship (#ChaSher5everr!!!). The rainy weather theme is also very Filipino and how it plays in the advancement of the plot is just brilliant! And kilig! So kilig!

Sab is defineitely a scene stealer (I love bestfriends!) but since the romance was so strong in the first place, she didn’t overshadow my boys. LOL.

Also, prepare to crave bulalo!  

10. Lemon Drop Friday by Brigitte Bautista.

“Here goes [Brij] again, making a mess [with my heart]”

When I was reading the review copy and got to this point in the book, I stopped for a full day before I started this story. Part of me knew I would breeze through it and I didn’t want the book to end just yet. And I was right.

Brij did it again! Made me fall in love with her mastery of words and then made me cry because this was so good and so satisfying.

I was highlighting passages throughout the book (for review notes) but with this one, I couldn’t even stop to highlight words, I just wanted to fully immerse in that universe and feel the love, and the fear of rejection, and the ultimate HEA where these messy girls finally, finally got together!

I have a favorite quote (aside from the mis-quote above. Lol)

“If she looked at me a tad longer, she would figure it out.”

Argh! MY HEART! I loved Tala’s POV so much! It’s quirky and funny and honest and SO relatable. I’m done talking about this because I WILL SPOIL IT FOR EVERYONE so please get the book and read it! :P

To end, again I want to thank everyone who worked (and continue to work hard to promote) this book! I cannot fully express into words how important this is to me, as well as to others who might need these stories in their lives (whether they know it or not). I hold this dear this not because it is among the first queer books from #romanceclass, but more because all were written with wonderful skill and heart. Each story offers something unique for the reader who might be reading queer for the first time as well as someone looking for themselves in the written page,

We yearned so much to be represented well. We craved for stories we can connect to on a deeply personal level. We waited for our happy endings, in fiction at the very least.. This is definitely the beginning of us getting all that. And more.

Blurb:

There’s a first time for everything. Gatecrashing a KPop concert with an oppa in a business suit. Taking shelter from the storm with the girl you’ve been meaning to shake off. That kiss that blurs the line between friendship and something more. A one-night stand (or, is it?) with your best friend from across the hallway.

Dive into these 10 stories of first encounters – unapologetically queer, happy endings required, with a smattering of that signature #romanceclass kilig. Whether you’re recalling your own firsts or out there looking for one, there’s a story in here for you.

So, go on.

Turn the page.

Start here.

Edited by Ronald S. Lim and Brigitte Bautista. Featuring short stories by Agay Llanera, H. Bentham, Ella Banta, Danice Sison, Yeyet Soriano, Barbie Barbieto, Katt Briones, Bobbi Moran, Motzie Dapul, and Brigitte Bautista. This anthology contains M/M, F/F, F/NB romance stories with happy endings. Some stories have a high heat level.

Release Date: January 27, 2018

Book Cover Design: Dani Hernandez

Additional Photography: Alexandra Urrea & Chachic Fernandez

Buy Links:

Pre-order Start Here on Amazon: bit.ly/rcStartHere Order Start Here on paperback (PH only): bit.ly/StartHere-PrintPH

Add Start Here on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37880247-start-here

Author links:

Katt Briones: @kttbri (Twitter& IG)

Ella Banta:  @gabbie_ellaine (Twitter) , @ellamaepot (IG),  gabrielluna.wordpress.com (blog) , https:// www.facebook.com/ ellabantawriting/ (FB)

Agay Llanera:  http:// amzn.to/ 2k2gj34.(Amazon)

Yeyet Soriano: @ysrealm (Twitter & IG) @Yeyetsorianowrites (FB), www.yeyetsoriano.com (blog), yeyetms@gmail.com

Danice Sison: @hastyteenflick (Twitter)

Bobbi Moran: bobbimoran26@gmail.com

Motzie Dapul: FB.com/atemozzarella, FB.com/atemozzarellastories, @atemozzarella (Tumblr) , mozzarellastories.wordpress.com (blog), motzie.dapul@ gmail.com.

Barbie Barbieto: @barbiebarbieto (Twitter),  barbiebarbieto.com (blog) 

H. Bentham: this is me. heh.

Editors: 

Brigitte Bautista: @brijbautista (Twitter & IG), brijbautista.wordpress.com (blog)

Ronald S. Lim: @tristantrakand (Twitter), ronlim20@gmail.com

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

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I Have To  ’ ‘  forgive and forget?? haha no resent and remember  ’ ‘  “you’re obsessed with yourself” and you’re not??? sad. tragic  ’ ‘  are people becoming more annoying or am i becoming more angry  ’ ‘  do my dark under eye circles and unwashed hair turn you on  ’ ‘  KIDS REACT TO existentialism and the inevitability of death  ’ ‘  remember to do your best to be positive with a clear mind and believe in aliens because those motherfuckers are real  ’ ‘  personality: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK  ’ ‘  my gender is “pretty boy”  ’ ‘  what others call a rebellious phase i call the sudden realization i don’t deserve to be treated like garbage  ’ ‘  what is a sex drive? where is the sex going? does it even have a license?  ’ ‘  i don’t want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening  ’ ‘  i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual  ’ ‘  do re me fa so done with you  ’ ‘  ctrl alt delete feelings cause i can’t do this shit no more  ’ ‘  i may seem like an asshole, but deep down i’m a good person and even deeper down i’m a bigger asshole  ’ ‘  should i go back to school tomorrow or should i fling myself into the ocean  ’ ‘  am i too judgemental or is everyone annoying: an autobiography by me  ’ ‘  are we gonna fuckn hold hands tonight or what bitch  ’ ‘  i love drunk me but i don’t trust her  ’ ‘  has anyones crush ever actually worked out for them or is that a myth?  ’ ‘  i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5′3″ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy  ’ ‘  if i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly i’d have 0 dollars bitch u thought lmao  ’ ‘  my last words will probably be sarcastic  ’ ‘  i used to be a straight a student. now i’m not even straight  ’ ‘  ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened  ’ ‘  single and ready to find aliens  ’ ‘  it’s very important that i am both cute and powerful  ’ ‘  i want to make friends but at the same time no  ’ ‘  there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me, it’s called the throne  ’ ‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’ ‘  i’m glad dogs can’t read the ‘no dogs allowed’ signs so they don’t feel sad and feel left out  ’ ‘  we’re all better and gayer people than we used to be  ’ ‘  every time i speak i am reminded why i should not  ’ ‘  every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough  ’ ‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’ ‘  the rumors are true: i’m soft and i just want to be loved  ’ ‘  i’m like a hexagon: all my hecks r gone  ’ ‘  we all know that one person you get sexually frustrated just looking at  ’ ‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’ ‘  my kink: not having to set an alarm for the next morning  ’ ‘  on the bright side, at least i am not addicted to cocaine  ’ ‘  they called me stupid?? well joke’s on them i don’t even know what that means  ’ ‘  i might get a lot of shit for saying this but i think it’s fun to enjoy things  ’ ‘  i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know  ’ ‘  assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student id number  ’ ‘  there she goes again, being over dramatic and by she, i mean me  ’ ‘  if u don’t know how to respond to something just say ‘how dare you’  ’ ‘  um that’s u’re* not ur  ’ ‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’ ‘  so sick of looking at my purse and not seeing $20,000  ’ ‘  literally want to be rich for the clothes  ’ ‘  me??? upset???? yes constantly  ’ ‘  a good gender neutral term to use is ‘fool’  ’ ‘  today’s schedule: suffer  ’ ‘  my middle name is actually $$  ’ ‘  don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake  ’ ‘  i want someone who will light a fire in me  ’ ‘  i want someone who will light me on fire  ’ ‘  i’m too cute for 90% of the shit i go thru  ’ ‘  who needs therapy when you can Realize™ things about yourself alone at 1 am  ’ ‘  why is there so much blood in my alcohol system  ’ ‘  no offense but i am a blessing to this earth  ’ ‘  haha oops i care about you  ’ ‘  they call me calcium because i give everyone strong bones  ’ ‘  do you have that one person that you can’t look at when you’re trying to be mad at them because they’re so cute??  ’ ‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’ ‘  one day i’m gonna say ‘fight me!’ and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me  ’ ‘  me? a jealous hoe? absolutely  ’ ‘  it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point  ’ ‘  i think i may be gayer than i originally planned  ’ ‘  i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry  ’ ‘  me? overreacting? shit probably  ’ ‘  i would like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i’m doing  ’ ‘  is there a scholarship for trying  ’ ‘  me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism??????? what?????  ’ ‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’ ‘  i require a lot of attention or you get a lot of attitude  ’ ‘  “what the fuck” is an emotion now and it’s the only one i have  ’ ‘  you’re important to me, you piece of shit  ’

[y02mustang]

Supercorp Week 2017 - Day 2

Prompt: Jealousy  My wife beta’d the hell out of this one and it turned out so much better than my first draft. <3

Read on AO3.

It was the annual L-Corp New Year’s Eve ball. Lena invited Kara, of course, and insisted that Alex was also invited and was welcome to bring Maggie.

“Then there’s my plus-one.”

Kara choked on the brownie she was stuffing into her mouth. She adjusted the phone against her ear and grabbed another square. “What?”

“I’m bringing a special guest.”

“Who?”

“It's a surprise,” Lena chuckled, “but I'm very excited.”

“Oh. Great.” Kara crushed the brownie in her fist. “That’s great.”

“Lena is bringing someone to the New Year’s party.”

“I heard you the first four times you said it,” Alex sighed. She set her plate of pizza on the table and turned to face her sister. “Why does that bother you?”

“What? Psh, it doesn't bother me,” she scoffed. “No way.”

Alex expressed her disbelief in the form of an impressive snort.

“It doesn't! I just, she usually tells me things like this,” she explained, hands gesturing wildly as she spoke, “and she's keeping it very much a secret, and I don't know why. She hasn’t even told Jess.”

“Tell me you didn’t seriously pester her assistant for details on who Lena is bringing to her own party.”

“Okay.”

Alex rolled her eyes.

“I need to know, Alex,” Kara whined.

“I guess you'll have to find out next weekend.”

*****

Kara arrived promptly at seven-thirty, the banquet hall already filled with dozens of party-goers, mostly employees from L-Corp and their families, though a few prominent National City VIPs had bought a place on the guest list.

Alex texted to say she and Maggie were running a little late and would be there by nine. Kara sighed. That probably meant they'd slip in around eleven. Her sister had been so punctual before Maggie, but then again, it meant Maggie was giving her reasons to be late and while Kara didn't want to spend a lot of time thinking about the particulars of that, she did like seeing Alex happy.

Kara scanned the crowd for anyone she knew… which basically meant Jess or Lena.

She found both of them a few moments later. Jess, Lena, and a man Kara didn't recognize were standing in a small group, conversing. Lena put her hand on the man’s shoulder and laughed, leaning into him.

Kara realized she was clenching her fists. At least her hands were brownie-free at the moment.

She focused her hearing.

“Richard has been the acting CEO for Maxstar now for, what, two years?”

Richard nodded. “Just about, yeah. I don't know how you do it, Lena.”

Jess spoke up. “A lot of long hours.”

Lena and Richard chuckled in agreement.

Kara frowned. She needed food. Something to preoccupy her before she did something crazy.

*****

Alex leaned over to whisper, “Why do you look like you're going to fire up your heat vision?”

Kara yelped. “When did you get here?” She looked at her watch, surprised to find it was nine-thirty.

“Ten minutes ago. Long enough to see you glaring your way through a half-dozen potstickers. Who are you staring at?”

“I think that's Lena’s date,” she growled.

“Did you talk to them?” When Kara just blinked at her, Alex nudged her shoulder. “Don't tell me you've been avoiding them for two hours.”

“Okay.”

“Oh my god, Kara. Look, just go say hi.” Alex shoved her gently toward Lena’s direction. “See what's going on. I'm sure Lena wants to know you're here, anyway.”

Kara pouted. “No.”

“Hey, Lena!” Alex called.

Kara scrambled to hide behind her sister, hissing about how she was a terrible human being.

Lena turned and, seeing the Danvers women, smiled broadly. She said a few words to Jess and Richard and then disengaged from the conversation, making her way to Kara.

“Alex, I'm so glad you could make it. Is Maggie here?”

“Yeah, she went to grab us some drinks. I'll go check on her.” Alex pried Kara’s hands from her forearm and slipped away.

“Kara, thank you for coming! Have you been here long?”

“Oh, a little while, I guess.” Kara dug the toe of her shoe into the floor.

“You should have found me sooner, I've been wanting to introduce you to someone.”

“Oh. It's, I'm not really, I mean, you know, I don't think I want to.”

Lena’s brow wrinkled. “What?” She shook her head. “Come on.” Taking Kara by the hand, she lead her over to Jess and Richard, saying, “Excuse me for interrupting. Richard, this is Kara Danvers. Kara, this is Richard Patterson.”

“Ah, one of National City’s most talented reporters. I've heard so much about you.” He offered his hand and she shook it politely, barely refraining from squeezing it a little too firmly, settling for wiping her palm discreetly against her dress.

He was about an inch taller than Kara, with short dark hair, a well-trimmed beard, and an easy smile, all of which Kara decided was stupid.

“Nice to meet you,” she replied evenly.

“Well, we’ll let you two chat. Have a good evening.” Lena lead Kara across the room. “Well? What do you think?”

Kara glowered at the man, but brightened when Lena glanced her way. “He seems nice. How did you meet?”

“Oh, I've known Richard for almost three years. He’s the acting CEO for Maxstar based out of Metropolis, so it's a treat that he agreed to come to the party.”

“Sure, yeah. I bet.” She plastered a wide smile on her face.

Lena shifted closer to Kara. “Is everything okay?”

“Great. Yep. Fantastic.” Kara adjusted her glasses and hoped the crinkle wasn’t giving her away.

“You just seem… upset.”

Kara huffed a sigh and tried to relax. Clearly Lena was happy, she wanted to be happy for her. “Just a long day, I guess.”

Lena seemed unconvinced, but turned to gaze at Richard. “He’s got a sharp sense of humor.”

“I'm sure.” A regular comedian. Bet he can’t make her laugh over kale. Bet he wouldn’t even have a kale joke prepared. I had three. Plus, I even ate kale… Rao, that was gross.

“He surfs, too.”

He surfs, too, Kara mouthed with a sneer. Well, I fly, so there.

“There aren’t too many areas for that in Metropolis, so maybe he’ll be coming to the coast more often.”

“Maybe.” Kara gnawed on her lip. Maybe I’ll ask Alex if I can create a beach in Metropolis. For tourism. Or something.

Jess nodded to something Richard said and then he took her arm gently and they walked toward the dance floor.

Kara glanced at Lena to see how she was taking it.

“Oh, good!” Lena gripped Kara’s arm with both hands. “I think they're hitting it off.”

“What… what?”

“Jess and Richard.”

“Jess, but, you…” Kara pointed toward Jess and then at Lena. “Wait. He's not your date?”

Lena raised an eyebrow. “Hardly. Richard is a friend and I thought he and Jess might get along. She’s had a few blind dates planned before but always cancels them in order to work late for me or pitch in on a project, so I figured if I brought him to the party, they could at least get to know each other.”

Kara felt all the breath leave her lungs. “Oh.”

It took a moment for Lena to work through the evening. “Kara… were you... jealous?” she asked, fighting a smile.

“No!” Kara ducked her head. “Yeah, okay. Maybe a little.”

“Because you thought Richard and I were together?”

“Yeah.” She hunched her shoulders and shuffled a few steps away embarrassed. “I should go, maybe.”

Lena took her hand. “Or you can stay. Would you like to dance?”

She glanced up, finally looking at Lena, blue eyes hopeful. “Really?”

Lena bit her lip. “If you'd like.”

“Absolutely.”

Alex raised an eyebrow when Lena and Kara stepped onto the dance floor and smirked when Kara looked her way.

Kara stuck her tongue out at her sister.

“Am I going to have to separate you two?” Maggie asked. Her back was to Kara but she knew that smug look on Alex’s face was reserved for needling her sister.

Alex chuckled. “Just saying I told you so.”

Kara rolled her eyes but her attention was immediately captured by Lena’s arms encircling her neck. She hesitantly placed her hands on Lena’s waist and then shifted her shoulders, feeling braver at Lena’s warm smile.

“You know, you have nothing to be jealous about.”

“I just thought… I mean, you didn’t say anything about who you were bringing, and usually, we kind of talk about this stuff, so I thought… maybe it meant something different. More.”

“Jess was standing right next to me while we were speaking and I wanted his arrival to be a surprise.” She chuckled softly at Kara’s blush. “I would have told you the next day had I known it was bothering you.”

Kara shrugged. “I didn’t think I wanted to know.”

“It’s a little late at this point, but… would you be my date for this evening?”

“Yes,” was the immediate response.

“And, perhaps, my kiss at midnight?”

Kara grinned broadly. “Definitely, yes.”

[lunaraen]

”If you say let’s split up, I swear to God.” Petra and any Jesse of your choice

There’s an unexpected monotony,to being stuck in one place for the rest of the foreseeable eternity.

They don’t think they count as apoltergeist.

Scaring people, haunting theirdreams and waking them up in the middle of the night, isn’t as fun as it was atfirst, braver people getting used to blaming it on the creaking of the houseand cursing the wind.

They know ordinary people justtrying to live, even if it’s as disrespectful trespassers who don’t belonganywhere near here, have fair reason to suppose that, but it makes them tryharder. The wind deserves the credit it gets, but by that same token, so dothey.

Their only companion is the wind,and even that can come and go. Lately, however, it’s been rather empathetic.

It rages and howls like it wantsto tear the town up into nothing, leave a gaping void in its place and makeeveryone in it regret ever existing, and they can relate.

They’re biased, of course.

They died here. They died anunfair death.

They think they did, at least.They don’t actually remember what happened. The anger’s been all they’ve knownfor a while, blistering and bubbling beneath the silvery nothingness they callskin, beyond being dead.

They’re also beginning to thinklife must be so much better just because being alive means being happy.

(Most people, they’d like tothink, have the common sense not to build over somebody’s grave, but it seemsthat’s been treated with the same amount of dignity as the odd fortress thatwas torn down and used for resources as soon as the town went up.

Something feels wrong about theempty space left behind.

Maybe it’s just that it couldjust as easily be because all of this feels rather wrong in the first place andbecause it doesn’t take much for them to see the intruders who built thissettlement as callous.)

The anger, for once, is joined bysomething faintly familiar, just for a moment or two as there’s a new sort ofdisturbance to join the same searing rage.

Curiosity, they think. That’swhat this used to be, isn’t it?

But the anger blazes brighter,stronger, as they peer out from a window, head sticking out halfway through thesmooth glass as they look down at the odd little group. Whatever faint, neutralfeeling they once had, curiosity or nothing at all, is fully pushed aside asthe fury roars in their ears, makes their fingers tremble.

They know these people.

How do they know these people?And why do they want to remove them even more than they do most people?

They stare until their headstarts hurting, and it occurs to them that these people look an awful lot likethe ones on the few gaudy posters plastered around the wretched town.

Heroes.

So they think they’re heroes, dothey? Expecting to take down a vengeful spirit like it’s no problem, likethey’ve done it before…

Maybe they have. But it takes aspecial brand of fool to think heroes really exist.

People are too selfish at heart,too cruel and pitiful and scared, to be real heroes. And those dumb enough totry die pointlessly in the process.

Nothing good ever comes of heroesand people who wish to be them.

And they feel it so strongly theyknow it must be true, and proving idiots who’d dare walk on their unmarked,disturbed grave so very wrong sounds perfect as a way to spice things up.

It’s hard to call it a quietnight, and as much as they enjoy the wind, it makes hearing what their targetsare saying harder than it would otherwise be on such an empty night. Theywonder how they missed the crowd that must have started here when peoplerealized their beloved idols were here, but a glance at the horses hiding inthe halfway-decent cover the inn’s stable provides makes them think they mightbe the only ones who know, beyond the inn-keeper.

How lucky for them.

Whatever’s said, far too warm andtoo laced with laughter and happiness to have any place in a place like this,never mind a night like this, they enter the inn. It’s far easier to sinkthrough the window gain and the floors to hear them than trying to read theirall too happy, smiling lips.

(Why does it feel like someone’swalking all over their grave?

Oh wait.)

The dim, dying torchlight fromthe empty room they just left pales in comparison to the blazing fire, bathingwhatever it can in the room with its warm orange glow, few parts touched onlyby the cool torchlight. They feel only a shadow of warmth, despite hoveringright above it.

They tell themselves that’s whatbothers them and not how even more familiar the little band of idiots looks.

The smallest one, though theyknow size can be more misleading than it can ever be telling, clasps theirhands, their frustratingly familiar looking gloves somehow not making theaction look any less relaxed or friendly, as they turn to the others in thegroup.

“Well guys, it looks likewe’ve got a lot of ground to cover. Let's–”

They recognize the eye roll theredhead gives. It’s one they’ve been giving to many of the more annoying peoplewho live here who can’t see them.

(Except hers almost looks fond,her tone too overly dry to be remotely serious.)

“If you say ‘let’s splitup’, I swear to Notch…”

She has the same rag-tag, cobbledtogether, ragged armor as most thieves, liars scum grave-robbers, do, but thered, alive vibrant heated, sticks out from the blue and gold. They rememberseeing hair like that, once.

That sense of misplaced, unknownnostalgia gets even stronger if they look too closely at the large one in greenand the smaller one in red, so they don’t.

The feeling’s better with theblond, for a moment, but then it gets just as strong.

Must be the anger.

They’d rather not look at anyonehere, now that they’ve gotten a closer look and clearly have realized how muchthey hate these ‘heroes’, but they need to be here to get rid of them.

That’s why they lean back with ahuff they know no one can hear.

In the process, the vase thatthey had forgotten was behind them wobbles, tipping back and forth on itslittle spot on top of the shelf and making more noise than it has any right toit, clicking and clacking against the delicately patterned plate beneath it.

They hadn’t wanted to rattle itthis time, but after getting so good at it for so long, it’s become a habit.

A habit that’s easy for others tolaugh off, apparently.

Or at least chuckle off as theirtargets apparently decide what everyone else usually does, that it must bebecause of the wind outside and as long as the vase hasn’t shattered into amillion pieces, it’s nothing to be concerned about.

“Alright, alright, maybe notthe best idea.”

Red, intensity and brilliance andwarmth, and green, life and energy and boundless curiosity.

Red and green. What does it mean?

And the anger… dies down alittle. It isn’t as suffocating, for the first time in… ever. They feel alittle light, actually.

It hurts.

Why does it hurt?

They tune the little group out.

It’s not the anger, the rage, thefury, and the light, bubbly feeling is still there, but it feels like something’sbroken.

Do they have a heart? A soul?Aren’t they already just a soul? Can a soul have a heart to hurt?

Maybe they do.

Whatever it is, it hurts. Itstings, burns, aches, fiery and slow and suffocating.

They want the pain to stop.

They sort of float there,hovering about the ground and feeling as if there’s some kind of bitingnothingness eating them from the inside, but just because time’s screwy for thedead doesn’t mean it stops passing for the living.

Unfortunately, there’s not muchof an investigation.

Or any.

That’s disappointing.

They’re tempted to slip away, notthat there’s much need for subtlety on a night like this in a place like this,and not that they have to slink around when this entire town is essentiallytheir disrupted grave, but there’s something about the grin the redhead hasthat catches their attention, warrior disappearing into the same room asleader.

There’s that curiosity again.

The others seem to go into their own rooms, but that’s hardly as interesting.

A plan? It has to be. Why elsewould the leader and warrior be in the same room, especially after the earlierfrustration about splitting up?

They get a bit too excited,perhaps, about finding the trespassers plotting their spiritual doom.

But it’s still disappointed tofind that the music isn’t a cover up.

Not exactly.

Because while the two of them aretogether, they’re just moving. Weirdly. With each other in rhythm to the musicas they shuffle back and forth across the floor at their own pace and lookingfor all the word like they’re as happy as can be, their armor discarded and forgotten in a corner as they stay warm in their coats and fuzzy clothes.

Few creatures are as weird as theliving.

(Dancing. That’s the word.

Why are they dancing?

It doesn’t seem very heroic orlike something that would hurt a ghost.)

“Okay Jesse, is this how youexpected your vacation to go?”

Neither of them change up the rhythm,go faster or slower, even as there’s a shared smile, and there’s that blastedfondness again.

“Maybe not, but I don’t see anyreason to complain about it. I’d say we’re all having fun.” No one should beable to have such a soft giggle on a night like tonight. What they think hasnever stopped anyone, though, and it continues to do nothing here. “Besides, weget to check out a tourist trap, they get to have us tell them there are noghosts to actually worry about, so everybody’s happy.”

And they both laugh, chucklesbecoming giggles as 'Jesse’ pulls the other closer.

Vacation?

Vacation?

The word, full of warmth and contentmentand joy, makes them feel like ice.

They’re not here for them?

But aren’t they a monster?Haven’t they been causing enough trouble to get heroes to try and take care ofthem?

(They could throw more dishes,make more noise, but… they don’t want to. These people have never doneanything to them. No one has. Swords can’t damage ghosts, and ghosts can’t domuch but move swords around, and they don’t want to stab anybody or anything,so it would just be horribly awkward and confusing if they did try to pick afight.)

Aren’t they good enough to lookfor, though? Good enough to not be brushed off so easily as the wind or paranoia?

Jesse nuzzles the taller one,pressing a kiss to her cheek before sinking more into the coat as they keep dancing.

And the anger dies down a littlemore, replaced by more bubbly aching.

Somebody moved that way with themonce.

It was nice.

They miss that.

Red and green and pain, armorthat’s hauntingly familiar and well-kept in a way that makes their hearts warmand hurts to look at all at the same time, tourist traps and disturbed deathbeds and anger with nowhere to go.

It’s all so, so much.

They want to rest.

But there’s not really an endafter death, not one that they know of.

So they sit up there, on theroof, exerting just enough power not to slip beneath the wood and disturb thehappy people below.

(They wish they could be thathappy now. They remember a time when they were, but even what they remember issad. All they could think of was angry, terrified people, people they couldn’thelp, people they’d lost and who had trusted them and who they’d miserablyfailed.

And then, softer, duller, andsomehow sharper all at once, they’d been so happy, so thrilled, that somebody,maybe even lots of people, weren’t dead. They hadn’t failed.

And then they died.

They wish they didn’t rememberanything. Then maybe the pain would go away.)

Chimney smoke lifts from thehouses as softly as the quiet music does below them, swirling in the air beforeslowly becoming nothing as it dissipates in the few fluffy clouds and gentlemoonlight.

[solarbird]

Old Soldiers, Chapter 9: (not) dodging bullets

Sorry this one took so long. I'm not good at large action sequences, and this chapter was difficult to write, mostly because of that. I was trying to keep it gamelike, in that it would be evocative of a failed charge onto take a point with a payload on it in game, as opposed to a realistic infantry scenario. I hope it works.

If nothing else, it's way longer than most of my chapters, so at least nobody's being short changed. That's also why the cut. ^_^

[AO3 link]

The opportunity came sooner than expected. An arms shipment, escorted by Los Muertos, task force almost certainly to be led by Jack Morrison - or, as it seems they called him, the white ghost.

Jesse McCree had been the one to catch the rumour, talking with some of his old Deadlock Gang contacts, who, turns out, would be happy if a rival gang did not get to run goods through their territory. And so, they passed the news to him, and he passed it to Amélie, who passed it to Venom, who gave it to Overwatch, and Gabriel Reyes, who built a plan.

Mockingbird lay atop the crest of the hill, silent, even her breath inaudible, even to herself, even she wasn't entirely sure she was bothering to breathe right then, as the small three-vehicle convoy stirred itself, beginning its early-morning trundle out of the two-building ghost town that had once called itself Cloverdale. There had been more here, once, before the climate warmed, but really, it had ended before then, a former bit of a farming town, a little store, a dance pavilion, enough water - just - for a bit of crop and cattle raising, but now, even that last was gone, which is, of course, why they were all where they were.

The sniper had been in her nest since two days before, had watched the convoy trundle its way across the desert and to a stop, loading out into the little stone ruin, and calling it a night. She had not slept; she did not need to, for this watch. Once everyone had tucked themselves in so nicely, so quietly, she'd then confirmed via radio to Gabriel that Jack Morrison was, indeed, in the front truck, and that they were not, in fact, transporting refugees or undocumented workers - there were no innocents to get in the way. Just a simple cargo delivery - maybe the weapons, maybe a side delivery before the main delivery, no way even to know.

Not that it mattered, really.

She watched as the convoy slowly rode its way west, towards her and past burned out soil, past former farm gates, now collapsing along the road, the paint bleached in the sun. She took in a breath, just enough to speak. "They're on their way."

Gabriel's voice in her ear. "Do you have the target?"

Lena allowed herself the smallest of smirks. Less than a kilometre. No breeze, at all. Crystal clear skies. Do I have the target. Honestly, Gabe. But she kept it to herself. "Target confirmed and moving into go/no go. Do I have go?"

Reyes ran through the numbers one more time in his head. Everyone in position for the ambush. A lot more fighters on the Los Muertos side - more than they expected, and it bothered him - but only one hard target. The gang side wouldn't be trying for a capture - they'd be shooting for kills, without hesitation - but Overwatch had surprise on their side.

"Nearing optimal range, Gabe. Go or no go?"

Who knows when we'll get intel even this good again, he decided. "Action confirmed. All team, on my mark - go."

Venom - no, Mockingbird - smiled the spider's smile, and pulled the trigger. Morrison's head jerked to the side as the tactical visor went flying out across the desert in pieces, and he swore, loudly, in Spanish, blinded by his own blood, but not really hurt, despite the proximity of the bullet. The transport vehicle swerved, blocking the road forward, but did not fly out of control, and seconds later he was shouting orders to his team as the Overwatch group moved in from the northeast, from the dried-up spring.

"Visor down," the sniper confirmed, as Mei threw up a wall behind the convoy, Gabriel lay down fire blowing out the front vehicle's tires, and the unlabelled Overwatch carrier blared its orders to drop weapons and be commandeered. Pharah charged into the air, letting loose with a series of rockets aimed at vehicle engines, as Mockingbird readied for a spray of long-range discouragement fire from her position, to keep the grunts under cover. She grinned as she watched the Los Muertos gangsters circle their vehicles and swarm for weapons, and then her grin froze as Jack darted away from her sight, without a visor, then reappeared on the other side of the transport vehicle, with one.

What th'...?! She looked back towards the wreckage of the visor. Yes, there, pieces, still on the ground. She called into comms, "Gabe, he has a second visor somehow, watch it!" just as Jack triggered the device, visual overlay screen appearing almost instantly, knocking Pharah out of the air just as she'd disabled the third vehicle. Mockingbird adjusted her sights and took a second shot, surely hitting him dead on, but somehow apparently not as he just kept shooting through the visor, after briefly jerking to the left.

She waited for a third shot, and Jack's head popped up again, again through the front transport, behind two windows. Mockingbird reacted instantly, and fired. Her vision seemed to blur, and suddenly, it was a Los Muertos grunt splayed out across the sand, her head smashed, and Jack Morrison was still firing.

Nobody's that lucky, she thought, coolly. Something's going on.

Los Muertos got a shield generator running as Mei threw up another wall while taking bullets to the shoulder and chest, saving Gabriel, who had also been hit and hurt by the barrage of bullets. Pharah limped back into the air, got off a single rocket knocking Morrison down, and went down again herself almost immediately, Mercy flying to her wife's side. Gabriel, Mockingbird, and - a moment later - Mercy's fire kept most of the rest of the Los Muertos fighters ducking for cover, as Winston leapt down, shield in place over the wounded Mei, Tesla cannon keeping braver Los Muertos back, as Athena flew in as pickup for the injured.

"Gabriel, Tracer here," Mockingbird shouted into comms, trying to force some emotion back into her voice. "Mockingbird's hit this guy in the head three times and he just shakes it off, something is very wrong. We need to..."

And then Jack fell to the ground, unconscious, and an older woman's voice came over the Overwatch comms, saying, "He's down, but it won't last more than 30 seconds. Get your wounded out while you can, and regroup at my position. Tracking beacon enabled."

-----

"A second visor?!" Gabriel - limping, but mobile - looked incredulously at Mockingbird as the small Overwatch strike force mended its wounds at the beacon site deep in the hills to the north. "He can't have a second visor. It's unique to each soldier. It was wired into his brain."

"Don't care," insisted the woman in black and green. "I shot the first one off, just like we planned it. It was on the ground, in pieces." She folded her arms. "My sight takes pictures, I can show you."

"But a second visor - that's not possible," Gabriel insisted.

"I know I hit him. I know I did. Three times. There's something we've missed, Gabe. This should've been easy and it was a disaster."

"You look very familiar," said the older woman with the beacon, looking with narrowed eyes at the younger sniper.

Mockingbird blinked, and looked over to the older woman, finally realising who she was seeing. "...no question of it on my side," she said, recovering. "The legendary Ana Amari, in the flesh. You're supposed to be dead. What the hell, mate? And how'd you get on our comms?"

Gabriel glanced away from Mockingbird and brushed dust off his hands, looking resolutely unsurprised. "Ana, this is our sniper specialist, callsign Mockingbird. Mockingbird, this is Ana Amari, apparently not dead."

Ana snorted at her former Blackwatch friend, and gestured over to Mockingbird. "You think that can replace me?"

"You have been dead since 2069," said Winston, stepping in between the new and the old, "as far as we knew." He gave Reyes a look, a look that said they would be talking about Reyes's lack of surprise in the very near future. "She's an independent contractor willing to work with us, and we're happy to have her service."

"I know that kit," said the Egyptian, with a sideways glance back to the younger woman. "And I know that blue tinge. Working with Talon, are we, now? Maybe Jack's not so crazy as I thought."

"Not with Talon, luv," Mockingbird lied. "But I always buy from the best. No second chances in this game. 'Cept for you, apparently. And Jack." She looked around at Angela and Gabriel and Ana, and frowned. "And apparently all you old lot."

Amari glanced disdainfully at the young assassin, then returned to ignoring her, looking back to Gabriel. "And where's the so-called Hero of Old London supposed to be, then?"

Mockingbird glared, anger a flash across her face. No, she told herself. Lena's not here. Ana's trying to provoke you. Realising that, she found she didn't even need to bring up the web further to keep control. It's a game. She knows, she just wants us to admit it. Spill the beans, grams? Not likely.

"We all thought it was for the best if she stayed out of any direct action involving the man who left her to die in the Slipstream." He looked directly into the sniper's eyes. "Knowing you're here, I'd say that was the right call."

"Afraid she'd lose her cool, get hurt?" She made a little unimpressed sound, a kind of pffft. "And yet here you hand whatever they've made of her" - she waved at Mockingbird, without looking - "a sniper rifle. You're fools."

Lena almost spoke up, then almost laughed, but kept her expression flat. Nice try, she thought. "So I shouldn't ask for your autograph, then?"

Winston shook his head at Mockingbird's verbal jabs, and Gabriel crossed his arms, with a frown. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Ana. More importantly - where the hell have you been all these years?"

"Really? You're going to keep up this laughable facade?"

"Whatever. You gonna tell us where you've been all this time?"

Amari glared. "No. But I will give you this." She pulled a small memory card out of a coat pocket. "It's video and notes from a... previous attempt to solve the Jack Morrison problem. If you're going to try to kill him, I need you not to make things worse."

"We aren't trying to kill him," Winston said, taking the card. "We're trying to bring him to justice."

Amari spat at the ground. "There's no justice for what he did, or for what he's become. I thought you understood that."

Well, thought Mockingbird, there's one place we agree. She found she didn't like the agreement. "That's what I thought, too. Maybe I ought t'reconsider the point."

"Does it always make this much noise? Maybe it should be reprogrammed again."

"ENOUGH OF THIS." Mercy glided down from the flat spot on the hillside above, where she had been tending to Mei and Pharah, watching since Ana showed herself, stunned to see her mother-in-law, of all people, reappear from the dead - not her way, but alive and well the entire time.

"Angela, why are you mixed up in this idiocy? I thought you'd know better."

The field medic marched over to the old military officer, and slapped her across the face, hard, staggering her back. "You dare show your face? You dare act like this to my friends, after what you have put us through?!"

"Woah!" interjected Mockingbird, jumping forward to restrain the doctor. "Angela, no! It's fine, she's just horrible!"

"No," she said, looking back, and shaking her arms free, "it is not fine!" She turned back to the old soldier, and pointed to Pharah, unconscious, but recovering. "She mourned you. You ignored her as a child and she loved you anyway and then you died and she put it behind her and now you are here and alive and she is here and wounded and you have not even acknowledged her existence?!"

"I've done what has been necessary, and I've stayed out of the way of the medic while she works. Fareeha will understand that."

"Will she? I hope not! But I will make sure she knows. I will make sure she knows everything. Including how horribly you have just abused our Mockingbird. 'It?! '" She shook herself, as though fluffing feathers she did not have, except in her wings. "You call her an it?! She is a person, not a tool, and you have become a monster."

Quietly surprised, Lena's heart tore, just a little, at the medic's furious defence. "Doc, really, it's fine, she's just digging..."

"I know what she's doing," Mercy said, not looking at Lena. "And I don't care why." She turned to the openly astonished Reyes and Winston. "We should get the wounded out of American territory as soon as possible. They will not be happy with our actions today."

"I agree," said Reyes, taking the opportunity. "Ana, we can pick this up later. Do any of your old dropboxes work?"

"No. Do yours?"

"Boxburg does."

"I'll leave a contact point there, then."

"Thanks. And... thanks for helping out."

"You're welcome. Maybe next time we can work together, make sure the grown-ups are in charge."

Mockingbird's face showed absolutely no sign of emotion, and her hands did not tighten visibly on her rifle.

"We'll talk later," said the former Blackwatch head. "Team - back to the ship. Mockingbird, give Mercy some help with Mei; Winston, I wouldn't mind a little help myself. Let's roll out."

The Lunar gorilla offered his friend an arm, as Mockingbird turned towards the Chinese scientist with a curt "acknowledged." Behind Venom's mask, beneath the web, the assassin roiled viciously, but no hint of that storm made it outside.

Maybe I've got more than one problem to solve, she thought, as she guided the semi-sedated Mei up off the ground. Maybe I've got two or three.

[thegeminisage]

OK, Cambion and FFXIII!

bless your sweet face, anon

cambionverse vs final fantasy xiii:

the characters i’d ship: serah and emily. serah has a natural way of being kind and understanding and patient that emily could use post-cambion, and they would make each other braver, i think.

the characters who would be BFFs: jesse and fang can be australian together!!! ok no i need more than that. i think ben & hope would be really good for each other, bc ben knows what it's like to lose your mom in traumatic circumstances, and to help someone thru that would be rewarding for him, & hope could use someone who really Got It on the most fundamental level. i think aaron would also do well with sazh & daj because like...sazh would be a good role model and someone to parent him since he had to grow up SO quickly, and dajh would be just like another little sibling to him.

the characters who would be enemies: dean always winds up getting into this blank when cambionverse is involved, but he's an ass and that's his own fault.  anyway fang would fucking hate him lmao he's so full of himself and convinced he can't be wrong and stubborn, you know? they're a bit similar, so they'd clash.

the characters who would be allies: on the other hand, dean & lightning would do really well together. she's professional and to-the-point, and he would condescend to her ONCE before getting his ass handed to him - he might not even do it once, because she's THAT competent. so they'd recognize each other as competent & also they're both very much in team free will fuck destiny (which is incredible, because lightning and claire are like the same person, but the reason claire hates dean is because he's condesending and stupid, and he would be less of that w/ lightning)

the characters who would be allies, but reluctantly: no one from ff13's cast would trust angels; too much like fal'cie. but if castiel turned on The World Order lightning would reluctantly work with him. she'd just. keep an eye on him.

the characters who would drive each other bananas: honestly, the most likely candidates are dean and lightning, but i don't think it'd be too bad. truthfully i think vanille's overly-peppy demeanor would really get on dean's last nerve at first but you can't know vanille and not love her, so she'd eventually wear him down and he'd get a soft spot for her. maybe dean and noel, actually, or dean and snow - lol, it's always dean. anyway, those guys are hotheads who think they know best like him, so it wouldn't work out. 

the characters i think are the most alike: ok, ok, finally. CLAIRE AND LIGHTNING. for starters: aro. claire is canonically aro but lightning might as well be (one of my fav things about ff13 is No Romance). competent women who are emotionally constipated due to childhood trauma. AND they are both in a trilogy, in which during the third portion they have to learn how to feel feelings. like, they literally deal with emotions in the same way, by pretending they don't exist, and getting angry instead of sad, and they don't know how to fucking cry, and them learning to do so is key to Their Development. also, lightning's real name, her real fucking name, DEAD ASS, is claire. claire farron. pink hair. like claire novak. why is nobody playing this fucking game. anyway, runners up are noel and jesse - lonely (noel is literally the last human alive in his time), wandering empty deserts, dead loved ones, protective of the people they travel with, whom they get attached to ALARMINGLY quickly. its no wonder noel is in my top 5 as well

my favorite character from each fandom & how i think they would get along: jesse & fang! like i said, they could be australian together. i think she'd poke fun at him a lot, but like, gently. she can recognize when someone has been terribly hurt and it would be more about drawing him out of his shell than anything, and once he was there they would be the most sarcastic together. :')

[CROSSOVER MEME: SEND ME TWO (OR MORE) FANDOMS]

[terrie01]

Why are there not more stories with a metahuman who can grant you your heart's desire, but it just traps you on a dreamworld? Yeah, yeah, Music Meister kinda did something like that, but I'm talking the classic "You must see through the illusion to escape" story. It's a total classic, in and out of fanfic.

So Harrison's life is going great. The information they've gained from the particle accelerator has opened up all kinds of new lines of inquiry for STAR Labs. Ok, his wife is the one who gets to head up the research, because he's stuck with the paperwork and administrative tasks that come with being the CEO, but it's still proving to be everything he hoped for. Jesse is home from school and talking about if she's going to go to grad school, come work for Harrison or travel with her boyfriend for a bit. As far as he is concerned, the last one is not happening, because his baby girl is going to die a virgin. ("Way to be patriarchal, Dad. And what about grandkids?" "You can adopt.") His son, Junior ("JR. It's JR.") just turned 10. On the weekends, the two of them are working on a robot, only they never finish, because JR keeps changing his mind on what the robot should do.

Something is missing.

Harrison can't put his finger on exactly what it is, but he can't shake the feeling that something is off. Thinking back to try to figure what it is, he realizes a common element. A young man, Hispanic, with long hair, lurking at the edges of the crowd. He tries to get security, and then the police, to detain him, but the man somehow manages to evade them every time. He's afraid the man is out to harm not just him, but his family and struggles to keep them safe, while not making them worry.

Then he comes home late one night. Wife and kids are eating out, and he feels terrible that he got stuck at work and was unable to join them. The man is waiting for him in the kitchen. He attacks, because this guy broke into his home and who knows what he might do. The man fights back, wrestles him to the ground, telling him that he's not here to hurt Harry (his name isn't Harry!) and would he just listen?

He says his name is Cisco. That’s maybe the most believable thing he says. Harrison refuses to believe what he's told. That his wife is dead. The project they both worked so hard on was a failure. That his son never even existed. Cisco tries to show him, the vagueness of his memories, the flaws and gaps. But he's only human. He can't be expected to remember every little detail. His refusal to accept Cisco's story (if his name really is Cisco) just makes the man more and more upset. Harrison is afraid he's so upset that he'll do something drastic. He tries to escape, only for Cisco to grab him. But he doesn't hurt Harrison. He kisses him.

Harrison's mind may not remember Cisco, but his body certainly does. Because this is what was missing. This is what he's been looking for, the thing he couldn't find. And even while he rejoices in having found it, his heart breaks because that means that Cisco was telling the truth. His life, his world as he knows it, isn't real. It's all a lie.

Cisco tells Harrison that he understands, that if he had a chance to get his brother, Dante, back, even if it wasn't real, he's not sure if he could walk away. But he also says he thinks Harrison is stronger and braver than Cisco. He asks Harrison to take his hand.

Harrison does.

Harry wakes in his home on Earth 2, Cisco still holding his hand. Caitlin hovers in the background. He looks around for Jesse, but is told she, Wally and Barry had gone after the meta who had done this to him. They were successful and would be back soon. He asks for a few moments alone to collect himself before Jesse returns. Caitlin gives it easily, but Cisco hovers at the doorway, reluctant to leave.

Harry, being Harry, is not one to shade the truth out of kindness. He tells Cisco that the dreamworld, the one Cisco had taken from him, he wanted that. Because how could he not? But he also wants this, what they have, as flawed as they both are, because how could he not?

And this time, when they kiss, both Harry's mind and body together remember.

[winstonhcomedy]

How’d Winston Do Last Night? 10/10

EVERYONE ALMOST DIED!!!! Hurricane Michael came to Richmond and it was scary babiessss!!! But luckily both of the open mics I was planning on doing went off without a hitch.

First up is one of my gosh darn favorites in all of RVA. Mainly because not only is it a fun room, but it is EARLY!!! Daddy loves an early open mic. The first show was the open mic at The Camel hosted by Jameson Babbowski. Which sounds like the name of a cocktail that is one part Irish whiskey and one part Manischewitz. Great guy, and a newer comic. But he does put together a pretty sweet show!!!

The format is he has three open mic spots then two headliners do about 15 to 20 a piece and then follows that with the rest of the open mic list. This actually is a pretty dope set up. Everybody gets stage time, and the headliners don’t have to be the first comics up!

So after I get to the show it just starts pouring cats and dogs. Like really coming down. I was the first comic there so I went and changed out of my sassy jorts and into my sexy comedy jeans and papa was ready to sling some jokes. 

My buddy Brock Hall and his lady friend Ash stopped by. It was fun catching up with the one line wonder, and just shoot the shit. Then we had Mu Cuzzo and his lady Paula arrive along with Bert Martling, Rick Williams and some others. 

It was a fun preshow hang. Had such a good time just hazing tf out of Bert. It is quickly becoming my favorite past time. Always good when Mu and Rick join in as well. Honestly I can’t state enough how much fun ball-busting is and it really is my comfort zone. I do think we found Bert’s weak spot in roasting, and I will be continuing to exploit that for the foreseeable future. 

After doing a super brave and courageous Paul Ryan joke a few nights before Rick Williams decided it was time he ditched his time tested material and try out a sweatlist. I WAS BEYOND EXCITED to see this disaster about to unfold.

So for you guys who don’t know what a sweatlist is I will explain. A sweatlist is when you get another comedian to write a list of topics/premises on a piece of paper and give it to you. You take the list with you on stage and the first time you look at the topics is when you get up there. Then it is your job to proceed to tell/makeup jokes about the topics off the top of your head. It’s basically improvised standup and it can be a super dope writing exercise. 

So the show was ready to get underway and the headliners this week were Liz Carr (sweetheart comedy) and Jesse Jarvis!  So it was going to be a fun time. There was a surprisingly good crowd in spite of the horrendous weather. 

After the first few comics went (Brock Hall, and new guy idk) Jameson asked me to run grab my clamp light because it was too dark. I GO AND GET FREAKING DRENCHED. But we were right it definitely improved the show being able to see the performer’s face. 

Mu had a hot set then they brought Liz on stage. Liz legitimately had one of the best sets I’ve ever seen her have. Liz puts on super fun shows all around town, and really really grinds her ass off at this thing. So it was nice to see her have a hot set!!!

After her Jesse had a pretty good set too. Jesse is legit one of my favorite comics, and is one of the OG Richmond comics. He is one of the sweetest and kindest dudes I know. I love every conversation I have with him and I enjoy his comedy a great deal. He looks like Charlie Day from It’s Always Sunny, but his comedic style is an observational style with very specific word choices. His notebook looks like a serial killer’s. 

After his set the open mic picked back up and people did ok. Bert kinda bombed and Rick actually did fine with his Sweatlist. This time he took an even braver stance on Paul Ryan and for that we are all very proud and thankful for his service. 

I go up last and get to stretch a little bit. I got to do about 12 minutes with a good mix of crowd work and trying out my new material. The material goes well for the most part, and the crowd work does better. Riffing on how we were all going to die, the audible weather alerts going off, and the fact the woman on the news showing the weather was in front of a map that was completely red while wearing completely red. 

Honestly my set was super fun so I’d give it a B. Really continuing a streak of productive shows which felt hella nice. 

After my set I grabbed my stuff and headed over to Garden Grove Brewery in Cary Town which is an open mic hosted by my buddy James Muñoz (the bled). Comics from the other mic showed up but I also got to see Patrick Buhse, Brandon Beswick, and Kate Carroll.

I had a pretty dope moment with Buhse where we talked about some stuff, and eventually hugged and admitted our respect for each other. Buhse is a funny dude, and I think in the past we both took some things the wrong way. People were mean AF to me when I started comedy and it made me bitter for a hot minute so naturally there were some issues. But it was nice to get an audible acknowledgement that that was over and that we loved each other. 

I love busting balls but I legit actually hate hurting anyone or feeling like I've wronged someone, so that was a nice bow to put on an already super dope night.

I went first on the mic and I did ok. Some stuff worked and some didn’t. As I was telling jokes the bartender was placing buckets down to catch the leaking water so there was some distraction. Then at the end of my set I made fun of two dudes who were talking so loud in the back and that went great. 

I had people tell me good set on my way out into the torrential downpour which was definitely nice. These jokes still need work but I’m working on it. 

I’d say my set was in the C+ to B- range and I’m perfectly happy with it. 

All in all a super dope night for comedy and I couldn’t have been happier! So until next time sweet cheeks I LOVE YOU LAYDEES!!!!