#also if i was not clear enough abt anything or if you have any questions feel free to reply send an ask dm etc

[unproduciblesmackdown]

what if we held on to whatever we get the idea of as Normal as unquestionable & think all you can do to this normal is apply some veneers overtop it to be more polite & also resent that. maybe we could project that everyone who seems to be Annoyingly Disruptively doing more than this must be putting on a performance to look good &/or humor others b/c that's all we ever believe we're doing, & again, we resent even that much....maybe we could use our show of More Polite language to make the same points blaming everyone who our Normal mistreats for their own mistreatment

[transgender-weirdo]

to preface, i am absolutely not saying it is always wise, safe, or possible to, but it is always "morally" acceptable and even good to defend yourself against immediate danger, including and especially from cops. a person protecting themself from police violence in any way necessary is always in the right and should not be condemned or seen as guilty for doing so. placing a negative moral judgement on a person protecting their own life from those who are supposedly kept around to "protect and serve" (🙄) is absurd and very often racist. this 100% includes situations in which the person on the defense from cops may have been antagonistic to them or even committed a crime prior to needing to protect themself, btw. cops do not reserve the right to harass, beat, or murder others, no matter what.

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Hey I was wondering would it be possible to do the dorm leaders with an s/o that suffers from Essential tremor.

And Essential Tremors is a nervous system condition, also known as a neurological condition, that causes involuntary and rhythmic shaking. It can affect almost any part of the body, but the trembling occurs most often in the hands, especially when doing simple tasks, such as drinking from a glass or tying shoelaces.

I have it and I was just wondering how they would deal or help with it

Disabled Yuu

I actually know a bit abt this but I did keep it vague as I don't have it myself. I also hope to do more disabled ayuus fr. I made Yuu assertive and exasperated in some parts– like Honestly if ur being an ass or demanding info abt someone's disability you have full right to return the energy.

I avoided the whole fixing thing in this too– though Azul’s part does bring it up. Platonic as I focused more on the hand aspect. Azul is Pre Overblot!! Hence why hes 2x as sleazy. I didn't Malleus cause it came out corny af. Also this is old and I wrote this on no sleep. Sorry this took so long I have like 70 reqs. Enjoy.

***

Riddle 

Since the first Unbirthday party you shared with Heartstabyul he got educated very quickly on the subject. He sees you shakily bring a cup to your lips and guiltily assumes it was because of his overblot. He doesn't blame you, I mean come on, he tried to kill you after all. It was then you explained to him your condition

Since then, he actually read up on it in his own time. He's honestly one of your biggest supporters– though you do need to remind him at times you don't need coddling. Still, you can appreciate it…

“Prefect.” You pause and turn your attention to the housewarden beside you. “Your tie is unkempt today. Will you allow me to fix it?” He asks thoughtfully, not wanting to intrude or risk coming off as rude.

“Ah, can you really? I'd appreciate it.” You presented your neck to Riddle, allowing him to reach over and adjust for you. His gaze was focused as he untied it, re-wrapping it with perfection as if it were second nature. Given his upbringing, you don't doubt it is.

“Thank you by the way, today I just didn't have the energy to deal with it.” When he's finished you pull away and nod at him. “Of course. Should you ever need help with anything in the future let me know. I'll be glad to help.”

Leona

Leona doesn't notice and doesn't really care. It's only when you share a room with him where he sees it, watching you tremble from where you lay. You have a blanket and the dorm is warm.  Why are you shaking?

“Look at you trembling in the lion's den. Do I scare you that much?” He quirked an uninterested brow at you as you turned your head to him.

“... It's a neurological condition…” You spoke bluntly, hoping that would be the end of it. “So it causes you to tremble like this?” 

“Yeah pretty much.” Leona merely hummed, and the subject dropped. No invasive questions. No taunts. No pity.

He's not mothering you or bending over backwards in the future and don't expect him to. It's clear you've been able to handle yourself well enough. Still, he takes it into consideration. He'll bite his tongue when you take a bit longer to do things.

You don't need to be babied, but when he sees you struggling to open a wrapper of some sort of a candy he offers his hand “Give it here. I'll help you out” You wordlessly handed over the candy and watched him slice through it with the claw on his thumb.

“Tch. You make me do too much…” It's an insincere remark as he hands off the candy bar and continues on his way.

Azul

“... I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly Azul, can you repeat what You said?”

“Cant believe your ears?” Azul wore a smirk as he put a hand on his chest, speaking once more with his confident tone. “The Mostro Lounge has quite a special deal just for you, dear Prefect! A special cure to your ailmen–”

“That's what I thought you said.” Azul paused for a moment taking in your annoyed tone. Did he miscalculate? “Something the matter Prefect–”

“Azul.” You now looked at him with a cold glare, clearly pissed. Azul swallowed, steeling his anxiety behind his businessman persona though the slight widening of his eyes gave away some of his true emotions. “... Yes, Prefect?”

“Why the fuck do you think saying that is okay?” You couldn't tell right now if your hands were trembling from your condition or rage. “Are you dense?” you ask, voice harsher.

“N-no, Prefect. I'm sorry if anything I said has caused you offense…” The deepened glare silenced him. “Think for a moment the implications of you wanting to cure me, and even if I did accept then what? You'd seriously hold something as sensitive as this over my head? Would you even be able to cure it long term?”

How badly you wanted to tear him a new one and let him have it, insults resting on your tongue. Instead, you sighed, exhausted from this conversation already. It wasn't worth your time.

“I'm not some ‘charity’ case though I doubt you know the meaning of the word. I don't need your ‘cures’. Just… leave me alone from now on. Don't talk to me, don't approach me.” you turned away and sped off, more frustrated than ever.

It would take until after his overblot for an apology.

Kalim 

Oh Kalim… he really does mean well but…

“And this spoon is designed for shaky hands!”

“I don't need…”

“And these are silk ribbons you wrap them with!”

“Thank you but–”

“And these magical devices are to help check blood pressure–”

“Kalim.”

Kalim blinked and tilted his head, still in the middle of putting the excessive amount of gifts into your hands “Ah?” He blinked for a moment. “Ohhh I know that tone, that's the same one Jamil uses when he tells me I go overboard…”

Kalim's brows knit together and he rubs his head through his white hair. “Did I go overboard again?” He's so genuine it's hard to be mad at him.

“... A little. Hey‐” You hold Kalim's face and pat him on the head. “Thank you though. It's very sweet of you to look out for me, but… I don't need all of these things. I'll be alright okay?”

“Oh! Okay! Well if you ever need anything I'm here!” Kalim pumps his fist then turns to the massive pile of boxes behind him. “So um… what should I do with these…?”

"Donate them maybe?”

Vil

Another example of doesn't really care. He inquired about it once, asked some polite questions and left it at that. There's no need for him to bother you.

When the VCD tournament comes around and he spends more time with you, he takes note of how it affects you. Many expect him to make comments or give you products to take care of your hands more, and he does, however he would have done that regardless of your condition.

Your disability doesn't define you and you're capable on your own. You don't need an able-bodied outsider to tell you what to do or how to feel. A really good ally. 

As he collects all the data on how your condition affects you specially, he's able to give you some welcome help. 

“This potion is good at helping with seizures, but it can also help with your Tremors. I will show you how to make it.”

Idia 

“So your hands can't stay still? Oof, bad RNG.” He immediately realizes he used video game terms out loud and dies just a bit. 

Really it's only Ortho that inquires about it. Your body's not any of Idia's business so why should he care? After all, how many times has he seen you irl? Yeah lol, he's cool. He barely knows you aside from a few random encounters on a bad roll. 

However Ortho cares. He cares a lot. And he's always trying to find ways to potentially help or cure you. Idia watches his little brother researching every book he can find on your condition and sighs.

“There's no cure right now Ortho. now even magic. Besides that's Yuu’s choice, isn't it?” He shrugs and looks off to the side apathetically. 

Sad beeps come from the humanoid. “Yeah I know that… I think I upset them but I didn't mean to…” The child's mournful expression suddenly perks up. 

“But! I'm not trying to do that! I'm researching the best way to make a game controller!” 

“A game controller? Isn't that pretty easy?”

“Well yes but…” Ortho pauses, reflecting on his earlier conversation.  “I asked Yuu if they enjoyed any video games and they said that they do. However, it's hard to play certain games because of their hands. So!”

Ortho shows Idia the 3d model he sculpted in his program. “I'm working on one that will work for them.”

“Working on one that works for them…” Idia looked to the side. He couldn't imagine a world without video games… and he doesn't have much to do… and he supposed the Prefect is okay…

“Send the file to me. I'll get to printing it.”

[joejhang]

fanon neil vs canon neil

god i am so FUCKING done with the aftg fandom mischaracterising neil i'm literally writing fucking ESSAYS about it and pacing circles muttering about it under my breath it's driving me up the goddamn wall so i am going to word vomit brain dump yap about all of it in an incoherent tumblr text post. spoilers ahead continue at ur own risk

i've said it before and i'll say it again I HATE FANON NEIL. istg this fandom LOVES to mischaracterise neil and ykw i think i know why. they take the smallest most unnoticeable parts of his personality and then exaggerate them to disproportionate and unrealistic levels in order for him to fit their idea of a conventional, stereotypical and desirable main character. they smooth out his jagged edges and prick at his "insecurities" to make him more likeable, more acceptable and more conventional of a narrator/main character and in doing so erase so fucking much of his personality and draw as a character that he loses just about all of the flavour that made me love him in canon. and also especially within the andreil dynamic this fucking fandom just loves to tweak neil's character until he's basically unrecognisable just so they can cram andreil into some preconceived socially acceptable clichéd ship dynamic. because andrew is perceived as the typical mysterious, moody and grumpy love interest therefore neil just has to be the sunshiney smiley blushing cute softboy in exchange. yeah because all gay ships have to be grumpy-sunshine and black cat-golden retriever dynamic. i raise you: andreil's dynamic doesn't work because of their differences it works because of their similarities. if u think about it andrew and neil are honestly very similar people in the way they think and process emotions and events and that's what allows them to connect and understand each other. andreil would not work if neil was super sunshiney and a blushy soft mess and andrew was the stoic, never smiling, unemotional stone of a guy the fandom loves to make them. just accept they do not fit into the conventional boxes laid out by booktok for what gay ships look like. i fucking digress.

neil is also just insanely mischaracterised on his own. people love making him very jittery and insanely oblivious and easily flustered with a generous serving of self-esteem issues. i hate to break it to you guys: neil josten is not insecure. i don't think there's a single instant in the series where neil is actually insecure about anything. as a narrator, person and character, neil is very realistic, pragmatic and logical. ruthlessly so. i'd say on this, neil is even more cerebral and unemotional than andrew is. neil is very straightforward and realistic abt himself in his narration and i'd honestly say his opinion and views about himself are one of the only things in the story that isn't affected by his narrator bias. if neil is anything, it's self-aware. i'm now going to present all my fucking evidence.

neil doesn't have a sexuality crisis. literally in the entire series never once does he even question his fucking sexuality. it's implied he's already figured out he's aspec/demisexual from the moment nicky questions him about his sexuality. neil says "i don't swing" and follows up in his narration: it wasn't quite the truth, but it was close enough. and later when he starts his relationship with andrew he doesn't ever question the nature of his feelings towards andrew or even anyone else and is pretty clear about it when andrew breaches the topic: "kissing you doesn't make me look at them any differently" so yeah neil is pretty certain and aware of his sexuality.

neil isn't insecure about his appearance. i feel like this is gonna require a bit of work to explain but hear me out. it is mentioned several times that neil has a complicated relationship with his appearance because he looks so much like his father/abuser. this is obviously understandable; you wouldn't want to look into the mirror and see the man who gave u all ur scars. that being said, neil doesn't have a lot of strong emotions regarding his appearance. most of his feelings of panic tied to when r*ko dyed back his hair is because of how it would be a lot easier for his father to discover him now that he has his original colouring back. i'm also pretty sure neil knows that he's cute. like it's never explicitly stated but i've reread aftg maybe fifty times and trust me i can read between the lines. neil explicitly says that he has a "love-hate relationship with his reflection out of necessity" and while the "hate" part of that statement is obvious: he doesn't like that he resembles his father, i've sort of just accepted that the "love" part of it is that he knows he's kinda fine. it's not brought up by him at all bc neil as a person is not one to linger on people's appearances almost at all. i think the only people to get a decent amount of lines dedicated to their appearance in the narration are allison and andrew. but yeah i genuinely don't think neil thinks he's ugly or unattractive and he's probably definitely been told how cute he is by others enough that he doesn't harbour any delusions about how he looks. regarding his scars, he never expresses any insecurity towards them and how they look, he just doesn't like them on display understandably bc of how acutely they point to his past and childhood that he's trying to hide.

neil is actually very very confident in his own and other people's abilties. this is esp regarding exy. he knows he's good at the game. like he knows. the most distinct example i can think of for this point is when kevin tells neil that he was at castle evermore to try out for the perfect court when they were younger. neil doesn't even doubt for a fucking second that he would've made it onto the perfect court. never does. he skips over the second-guessing and doubt part and just straight up starts daydreaming about the future he could've had playing with kevin and r*ko. like that really got me bc it's easy to assume neil would be super unassuming and have low self-esteem but no like neil doesn't doubt for a fucking second that he deserves to be perfect court. it's just that he doesn't believe in r*ko's delusions enough to play along with it by the time he gets the tattoo. he's also insanely confident about the foxes and their abilities and also kevin by the end of the series. at the beginning he takes a pretty realistic vantage point and says that with the way things are, the foxes will never beat the ravens. but even with that pov he still has the gall to challenge r*ko on LIVE TV and i doubt he's lying when he declares so boldly to everyone that if the foxes were united they'd be an unstoppable force (and guess what he was fucking RIGHT). and by the end, when the foxes are united, he has no more room left for doubt at all. some guy tells neil to kick the ravens' asses and neil just replies with zero hesitation "that's the plan". like he's so fucking on board with it. and he never once doubts that kevin is the best striker in the game. like literally never. at first he considers r*ko and kevin on par with each other (possibly, it's never stated outright) but by the end he literally has no doubts when he says "kevin is the best striker" like goddamn the amount of confidence neil has is so underrated.

neil is a very unemotional narrator. it actually gets me all the time how logical and ruthlessly pragmatic neil's narration and inner monologue is. some of the only strong emotions portrayed in neil's narration are anger, irritation and occasionally grief, which is only ever triggered by major trauma-inducing events (e.g. dr*ke). almost all of his inner monologue is analytical and observing others and dissecting either other people or the situation he's in. and almost all of his decisions and actions are made based on impulse and instinct. neil is a very instinctive person. this is outright stated in the way he plays exy; in theory, he can't give u a lot, but in the heat of the moment he's at his best. this applies to practically all facets of neil's life. he never plans his moves or what he's gonna say (except like that one time when he planned out what half-truth he was gonna tell andrew post-columbia). he's super quick and on the ball and literally does whatever the fuck he wants at any given moment. he's also insanely good at compartmentalising. like it's difficult to explain but while his priorities are obv hilariously skewed, they're also very clear in his mind. things he considers unimportant he simply just doesn't think about. what others look like and what they think of him don't factor into his internal monologue or his thoughts at all he literally just files them away in the back of his mind until they do end up becoming useful or important to him. he barely comments on andrew's appearance at all until andrew becomes someone worth staring at and admiring for him. the only reason he describes allison and renee in the detail that he does is because it's important in understanding how and why he reacts to them the way he does. this man was literally about to lose his goddamn mind at the fall banquet but he specifically reserved his mental breakdown for after the banquet so he could spend his time roasting the fuck out of r*ko. bro fully locked in and was like "clock riko now break down later" and i respect it.

neil doesn't actually have a martyr complex. it's funny because almost all of aftg is him being the absolute fucking opposite of a martyr. he wilfully sticks around the foxes knowing he's putting himself and them in danger. he doesn't "sacrifice" himself until he's absolutely forced to by his father's people. by then, he's already told himself he can't and won't run and he's smart enough to know he'll never get away anyway. and going to evermore wasn't about self-sacrifice or martyrdom it was about protecting andrew and those two are pretty fucking different. he knew he was coming back from evermore and he knew that he wouldn't die there, despite all the shit he went through, so i don't think that can be counted as "self-sacrifice". he was doing what he had to do to protect andrew, the same as andrew would've done for neil or aaron or kevin or anyone else he'd sworn to protect. the kidnapping in baltimore was the culmination of neil's character arc, which isn't really about learning to be selfless and self-sacrificing, it's about learning to stand his ground and stop running. those things r crucially different: neil not running in baltimore wasn't about selflessness, it was about courage. yes, part of it was obviously inspired by the foxes and motivated by not wanting them to be hurt but i truly believe it ultimately was about neil learning to stand his own ground and make his own home and have it be something he's willing to die for. call it whatever u want honestly i just don't think neil is as much of a martyr/sacrificial lamb as the fandom makes him out to be.

[walnutcookie]

What have you been thinking about lately? (:

HI THANK U SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK . SMILES SO BIG!!!!!

i have been thinking about walnut so much lately.. more specifically her character development as well as her relationship to both roguefort and her mother. ill focus on her and roguefort more in this post though :] im gonna try to be comprehensible in this one but thisll be a doozy

reblogs ok!

what i find interesting is that in every case we've seen walnut and roguefort BESIDES their release event, walnut has always defended them. In the butter painting affair she knew that they would have left a calling card, in the lost holiday she knew that they wouldnt have done any harm to eggnog cookie, and in face the trial she knew they wouldnt have stolen something with such little value. Theres a big contrast between her first interaction with them in their release event and how she treats them from that point on, and its clear that they dont have quite the rivalry that was shown in that first event. Walnut isnt nipping at their heels every chance she gets lol

i think that from the start, roguefort has always been fond of her,, in a mentor or parental way almost; they see her potential. they see her skill. they want to watch her grow, to see her learn from her mistakes and become a better detective and a better person. in the lost holiday the calling card was a gift itself - they know how much she loves doing detective work and they want to encourage her, though if they break character then the game isnt fun anymore and it feels less genuine ,, so they observe her from a distance. I do think that they wish they could care for her more but they have to be discreet about it since theyre. yknow. A thief and supposed to be her most hated rival (be weird abt these two btw and i will eat your fingers)(dont ship them)

i dont know if this was intended to be canon or not, but thinking about how roguefort left in their release event feels,,, strange? If the boat was far enough from the docks that nobody was trying to stop them, then surely they couldve escaped with the jewel still in their hands. sure, they threw to distract everyone and allow them to escape, but there was a Whole crowd of people there ? if walnut had caught the gem, someone else could have jumped onto the boat and caught them. i like to interpret it as them trying to reward walnut. While they werent going to turn themself over just like that, they wanted to give her a prize for being smart enough to solve their puzzle. They wanted to encourage her by giving her back the gem, even if Cheesecake had a spare and nothing would have really changed if they had kept it :]c

heres my interpretation of them, and its mainly based off of the lines "One logical answer always exists!" "One logical answer? Sounds rather... dull."

in the start, walnut did consider them rivals. She was pretty young at the time and still figuring the world out so she saw them basically as a supervillain, basically just a person filled with pure evil intent and thats... Obviously not who they are. but little wawer just saw someone stealing and went Ah evil!! Evil!!!!! you are WRONG and you must be STOPPED!!! And thus their rivalry began. Also why she was so bitter towards them in the first event :]

in the events of search for lost time/pursuit of lost time, though - and keep in mind, this is completely based on my own headcanons since we hardly know anything abt these costumes - walnut realizes a shift in their behavior. At some point, they even put their own life on the line just to save her... would an evil, cruel person really do something like that? Why would they risk themself to save her when all shes ever done is try to have them arrested?

this is when she starts to realize that not everything in the world is black and white. Not everything has one logical answer. What is rogueforts motive? that is one messy question with multiple answers and none of them are logical. This also goes into my headcanons with her relationship with almond but thats for another ask heehee... Walnut starts to realize other things, too. Roguefort always leaves a calling card, and theyre always incredibly polite to everyone, even the authorities,, of course thats just phantom thief stuff but she realizes that they really arent just some villain. Theres much more to them than some urge to cause mischief and steal from others. in my timeline, all of the other events take place after search for lost time/pursuit of lost time, and this is where walnut starts to defend them rather than just try to chase them.

At this point, i dont think walnut wants to see them behind bars anymore. that was pretty clear when she was distraught at the sentence cappuccino gave them. i think shes conflicted about them. She wants to know the truth about who they are, and why theyre doing everything. She wants to see them change - for them to start doing good. but at the same time, she doesnt. at the same time,,, roguefort is one of the only ones who takes her seriously

Almond is the most guilty of this, and ill elaborate on that in another post, but oh Boy does he make walnut feel worthless and dumb. walnut is always trying to act more mature, more professional and less child-like despite Very much being a child, first example off the top of my head being her not wanting to decorate her office for the holidays and also the way that she always calls almond by his name instead of mom/mother(or dad/father if we're not talking about my hcs lol). She doesnt want to be treated like a child. and to some extent, yeah, people baby her!! almond told cappuccino he was scared that shed eat a Rotten jelly are you fucking kidding me ? (dont even get me started on the one twitter art where hes worried that roguefort kidnapped walnut i do Not consider that canon because from what weve seen abt how he acts towards roguefort?? No the fuck he wouldnt????) he didnt want her to be involved in the butter painting affair because it was "dangerous" despite it basically being identical to other theft cases shes dealt with and there wasnt any violence to begin with. in her story even, people usually let her investigate just because shes cute which.. works in her favor but also FRUSTRATING because its only because shes a kid. almond is always talking about how worried he is that she'll get into trouble and YES she is a child she does need some sort of supervision but shes also so much smarter than people give her credit for. she has so much potential thats being wasted purely because people think shes too young, though at the same time, i think walnut overestimates herself. i think that because of the lack of support she gets from almond and other adults in her life she tries to go above and beyond to Prove that shes better than she actually is and that shes worthy of being a detective and taking on more cases and ends up getting hurt because of it (cough sflt). she tries to act more mature because she wants people to take her seriously but she is a Child and thus people will just look at her and go "Aww! what a cute little detective :)"

i think that the reason why shes so involved with rogueforts cases is because theyre the only one who takes her seriously. They do tease her about it - this is seen throughout all of the events but most specifically in the first one when she gets upset at them calling her "little detective." though they still take her seriously. They see the skill she has now, and they dont just see what she could be in the future. theyre more focused on supporting her now and giving her encouragment and more puzzles to solve rather than babying her and telling her she'll be a great detective someday like everyone else. thats especially important to walnut considering almond does Not show her the same support and is more often restricting her and trying to get her to stop

if roguefort were to stop, to be arrested or to decide that their life of crime was over, walnut wouldnt have that support anymore. Thats terrifying to her. while she does want what is best, there is also a part of her thats a little selfish and just wants things to stay the same forever.

idk where to put this but im elaborating more on her wanting to learn more about them. because really she shows a much deeper understanding and respect than most other characters despite them being her supposed rival ? Lost holiday in specific was so funny because she was so chill with them like "yeah i know you probably didnt do it lol i just needed to have u here just in case" ANYWAYS just the fact that she keeps standing up for them is enough to show how much respect she has for them. The general public is SO cruel and dehumanizing towards them through either idolization or vilification or both at the same time and shes one of the few who actually treat them like a person. she doesnt like it when people are unnecessarily cruel to them, like almond insisting that she stays out of the butter painting affair despite them not committing the crime or her reaction to the harsh jail sentence cappuccino gave them. Both almond and cappuccino are characters who are very close and friendly with her, might i add, and yet she still wants to protect roguefort. She knows that they deserve so much more than how the public and how authorities treat them, thief or not.

anywasy yeah um. In summary. i think that the two lines "One logical answer always exists!" "One logical answer? Sounds rather... dull." symbolize them quite nicely ... roguefort is a motivation for her, a mentor disguised as a rival. they teach her more about the world and detective work. they made her realize that not everything is black and white and taught her to people and situations in more complicated shades of gray. and i think that it goes the other way, too - in a world where roguefort is so Deeply misunderstood and misjudged, walnut tries to stand up for them and does understand them, to a degree. better than anyone else at least. she gives them hope.

[aanoia]

Hi, how’s your day going? Could you do a Mattheo riddle and Draco Malfoy fix where they accidentally stop paying attention to the reader and she thinks it’s something she did when I’m reality they are having a hard time processing their feelings for the reader. I hope that makes sense. It’s completely up to you if you want to do this!

Yes of course! Sorry it took forever to respond, I've been super busy moving and doing finishing touches on renovating my new house! I should be getting a lot of requests out soon, hopefully at least.

Also, my day was alright. How was yours?

Can't Help But Love You

Draco Malfoy x reader, Matteo Riddle x reader

Words; abt 700 each

Warnings; none

Yall I had to do research on how Matteo was bc ik nothing abt him, idek if what I wrote for him is anything like him so lemme know

Draco Malfoy

“So yeah, that’s why I absolutely hate her. Do you get it now?” Y/n asked Draco as she sat across him from the table, explaining why she hated Hermione Granger so much. He continued looking at his plate, not looking up. Y/n waved her hand in front of his face, “Hello?” He blinked and looked up.

“What?” He asked, his voice hoarse. He cleared his throat, “What?” he asked again, clearer this time.

“Were you paying any attention to what I just said?” Y/n questioned.

“Uh, what were we talking about?”

Y/n scoffed and shook her head, pushing her plate forward and standing up. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

“Wait, Y/n.” Draco said but she shook my head again.

“No, you keep ignoring me and I’m tired of it. I’m gonna go study. Bye, Draco.” Y/n walked off, leaving an exasperated Draco behind. Draco groaned and buried his head in his hands.

A few stray tears left Y/n’s eyes as she walked out of the Great Hall quickly. Draco hadn’t been paying much attention to her for weeks now and she couldn’t help but think it was something she did. She constantly replayed the last few months she had with him but couldn’t find anything she did, which only made it worse. She loved Draco. She was in love with him. He was her best friend. The boy she’s been secretly pining over since first year. It hurts that he’s just ignoring her now.

Y/n quietly sat in the Slytherin common room, seeking warmth from the fire. She flipped the page of her book as someone sat down in the large chair next to hers. She spared a quick glance up and immediately looked back down and continued reading.

“I’m sorry.” Draco whispered, just loud enough for Y/n to pick up on. She continued looking at her book, however her eyes no longer flit along the words. “I-uh, I don’t mean to ignore you. I’ve just been doing a lot of, uh, thinking. There’s something I need to tell you, and I need you to look at me when I do.”

Y/n sighed and put her now closed book on her lap. She turned her body and looked at Draco who had a serious, yet slightly nervous expression on his face.

“Go ahead.” She said and meant it to come out harsh, but her words were soft and comforting.

“So, um…” He rubbed his neck. “Merlin, this is hard. So I’ve been thinking-”

“Yeah, you said that.”

“No, you don’t talk until I say you can. I need to get this out, no interruptions.”

Y/n smiled slightly and pretended to zip her lips, lock them and throw the key. Draco’s posture softened.

“Okay. I feel something that I’m not so sure I’ve ever really felt. And it’s been really confusing and I don’t know what to do about it. I talked to Blaise and Matteo about it and they said- well they said-” He hesitated and Y/n urged him on with my hand. “They said I’m probably in love with you.” Her eyes widened slightly. “And I’ve been thinking about it a lot, that’s why I haven’t been paying much attention to you. But I’ve come to a conclusion. Y/n, there’s no probably. I am in love with you, and it scares me and I am so so sorry I’ve been ignoring you.”

Y.n stayed silent with a smile.

“Are you going to say anything?” Draco asked and she brought her hand to the invisible zipper and tried to unzip it but couldn’t due to the lock. Draco shook his head with a laugh and pulled something invisible out of his pocket. He pointed the invisible thing to her mouth. “Alohomora.”

Y/n smiled and unzipped her lips. Instead of talking though, she grabbed Draco by the face and pulled him to her, their lips meeting in a soft kiss. She pulled away after a few moments with a smile.

“I love you too, Draco.”

Matteo Riddle

Y/n sat at the Three Broomsticks, laughing with her girl friends. Her laughter halted as her eyes landed on Matteo Riddle who had just walked in. Her friends noticed and their laughter subsided as well.

Hermione grabbed Y/n’s hand from over the table, “Y/n, are you alright?”

“Matteo wasn’t as busy as he said.” She said, motioning in his direction with her head. Hermione and Pansy (who was sitting right next to her), turned their heads, whereas b/f/n just looked over, as she was already facing him.

“Ugh, that dick.” Pansy scoffed as she turned back around. “He’s such an ass.”

“While I do not appreciate the language, I agree with Pansy.” Hermione agreed.

“I can’t believe he said he was too busy to hang out then he comes here with his dimwitted friends.” B/f/n said while shaking her head. “It’s so messed up.”

Y/n shrugged, pushing down the hurt and mustering up the best smile she could. “It’s alright. Shall we go?” She asked and her friends nodded, placing some coins on the table for the butterbeer. Y/n grabbed her jacket and threw it on quickly before wrapping her Slytherin scarf around her neck.

B/f/n grabbed Y/n’s hand as they began making it to the door. Y/n spared one look up and met the eyes of Matteo, who looked at her in guilt. The cold air nipped at the girl's nose as she exited the warm pub, snowflakes immediately littering her hair and shoulders.

The group made it a few feet before the door burst open from behind them. The girls turned their heads to see a disheveled Matteo without a coat on. Y/n’s hurt quickly turned into anger as she scoffed and turned around, her friends following after her.

“No, Y/n wait!” Matteo called after them, grabbing onto her free hand. His hand was cold -colder than usual due to the freezing weather- but soft.

“No, Matteo. I’m busy.” Y/n said spitefully.

“Please.” He begged, moving in front of the girl. She hesitated, looking into his eyes before sighing. She motioned her friends to continue without her, but they stayed put.

“Guys it’s okay, I’ll meet you back at Hogwarts.” Y/n assured them and they hesitated before walking off.

Matteo grabbed onto Y/n’s other hand and walked her to the sidewalk so they weren’t standing in the middle of the road. She shook off Matteo's hands and crossed her arms.

“What do you want, Matteo?” She spat angrily and Matteo took a deep breath, trying not to freak out at her anger, which proved to be very difficult considering how he had grown up.

“Well, you don’t need to be all snappy.” Matteo mentally slapped himself, there he goes again.

“Oh, really? You’re the one who’s been blowing me off all week!” Y/n said loudly.

“Well, it doesn’t give you the right to be such an ass!” Matteo said, raising his voice slightly.

Y/n laughed exasperatedly, “Me? I’m the ass now?” She yelled. “You’re the ass here! You’ve been ignoring me and lying to me! I don’t get it, Matteo. What did I do to you!?”

“I love you, okay? I fucking- I fucking love you, and I hate that I love you.” He said, his voice getting quieter as the sentence went on. “Because you’re my best friend, and you don’t love me back. And I am so fucking sorry for making you feel like shit and lying to you, I just didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry, Y/n, I’m so sor-”

Y/n cut him off with a kiss as she threaded her fingers through his hair. After a moment Matteo kissed back, his left hand falling into the dip of her waist. She closed the distance between their bodies, pushing herself against him until she no longer could. He pulled away slightly, resting his forehead against hers. His eyes opened and he smiled at her. Little snowflakes littered her eyelashes and her eyes remained close, savoring the moment.

Matteo gently rubbed Y/n’s cheek and her eyes fluttered open.

“I’m cold.” He whispered and Y/n laughed gently.

“Because you didn’t put your jacket on, idiot.” She whispered back.

“Y’know what will make me warm?”

“Your jacket?”

“Another kiss.”

She closed her eyes again and brushed her lips over his, “Your wish is my command.”

[l0stfoster]

I have never felt more loved in my life thank you for loving me and the autistic tendencies this au has brought out of me 🫶🫶🫶 - paul anon

While we’re at it can we hear more abt the ritual/when paul got the markings? And when darry saw them for the first time how did that play out ??

Also, i saw what he was mfing reading in that one doodle you cant hide from me. Is there ever a time where Paul tries to get rid of his powers and what happens ?? Does he succeed (which I hope he does NAWT)?? Does he fail?? Does he get caught ?? Like i need details its all im thinking about

I need you to know how quickly the grin on my face appeared when I read this. It was instantaneous, immediately a little smirk. Ohhhh how I've been waiting for this one.

There's a LOT of typing because Paul's lore stuff was one of my favorites to create, so everything is below the cut as usual. Though, just to be safe as well. Your question isn't being answered in order, cutting it up a bit differently. The first two questions have little drabble kinda answers with their bullet points, 'cause I had felt silly.

// mentions of child abuse, ritualistic self-harm, and implied passive suicidal ideation

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

When Darry saw Paul's markings for the first time, how did that play out ??

Paul's scars weren't exactly something Darry had been unaware of. More specifically, it had always been the pair of scars horizontally along Paul's forearms that he'd gotten adjusted to seeing. He made his own assumptions. He never asked about them, either, since Paul made his contempt for them clear each and every time he made it a point to keep them covered. He was always in their old football letterman jacket or any other thing that would keep them out of people's view. Darry could argue that he'd never even seen the male without a shirt on, as well, even if they didn't cover the scars themselves. So, when he'd idly kept his eyes on Paul as the male changed; he'd been completely startled (and admittedly, a little panicked) at the large, complicated marking practically branded into his boyfriend's back. The thing that bothered him the most, though, was that it looked too neat for Paul to have done it himself. "..How'd you get that scar on your back?" Darry didn’t know what response he’d expected. Maybe for Paul to wave him off, dismiss it as he always did whenever a sensitive question came up. Maybe this was something all witches had, something that proved their connection to it which needed to be hidden because he'd grown up on the side of the tracks that would've had him killed for it. What he wasn’t expecting was the hesitation, let alone the quiet answer he'd been given. “-I.. don’t know.”

- Darry, unfortunately, didn't get any answers the first time. Paul avoids the conversation real hard every time Darry asks, but this is the one thing Darry doesn't want to drop, just because it seems to freak Paul out so bad. - He only finds out what it is because he snoops a liiiiittle bit (Paul is VERY private with his witchcraft) and connects the dots himself. - The reason Paul's just as confused is because he avoids looking at the mirror or himself at all costs. When he looks for too long, he sees his parents staring back at him; and he hates it. Avoiding it flat-out means he doesn't have to ask himself why he hates it. - Darry recognizes it's magical. Hell, being a fae, he could probably sense any kind of magical connection to it if he tried hard enough.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ Can we hear more abt the ritual/When Paul got the markings?

Paul doesn't remember when he got the ritual carving on his back, at least, he doesn't at first. It seems that's part of the point when he goes digging through his books, looking for anything familiar to the markings on his skin. The answers he does get just leave him more confused; they're not supposed to pair together. All those runes, the apotropaic symbol- it's all stuff that directly aims to hinder his power, to hide it; and it certainly worked, because the last thing he can even recall about his curse before it surfaced once more was his mom's face, twisted in disgust and oh. Oh. It dawns on him fast; the memory floods his mind way too quickly while pieces connect. He'd always wondered why they owned a book about blood magic when witches didn't specialize in that; his mom didn't even seem to use it, she never used her powers much as it was. As he stares at the pages listing the meaning of all the symbols that adorn his back, he realizes two things. The first thing is that this wasn't in the books, this was made for one reason; originally made with malicious intent. The second thing is that he thinks he knows why the ritual knife he knows always looked so familiar. "This is for your own good." How cruel is it to find out your own mother willingly mutilated you in an attempt to restrain your power?

- Yeah, Paul's mom carved the marking into his back and used her own magic to put his own into remission. She had to make it herself, as no witch would want to take away their own power; hence it not being in the book. - The worst part for him is that he can't bring himself to hate her for it. If anything, it makes him hate his power worse. If his mom hated it enough to do this, then it has to be horrible. - This is how he realizes blood magic might be able to get rid of his power btw </3 - Remission is the only way to hide them without full removal, but the fact that he's always with the cursed now means it wouldn't work. Hence why the rumble awakened it again, because he was surrounded by them. - The ritual carving is part of why he can’t channel his power to its fullest potential, due to actively having the scar of something that was meant to restrain him. - It still holds its effects sometimes, there’s days when Paul’s absolutely incapable of using his powers bc the carving’s ritual was to prevent him from doing it in the first place, and so despite his magic showing back up, it’s still trying to clamp down on it. - As far as he knows, there's no way to reverse it. It's carved into skin, he'd have to be able to get rid of that scar. It'd weaken once his mom dies, though, but that's far in the future. - He likely takes the ritual knife to his own back to "ruin" the carving reading, but even that's not a guarantee to work.

Is there ever a time when Paul tries to get rid of his powers and what happens?? Does he succeed?? Does he fail?? Does he get caught??

- Paul, so far for what we've got written, has tried to get rid of his powers twice via blood rituals. - The first time was while he still lived at home, but the intent for it was a bit different. He wasn't trying to get rid of them permanently at the time, instead he was more focused on trying to mute them to a point where he could control them easier; as his magic is directly tied to his emotions during the early days and his parents grew increasingly pissed the more they showed themselves. - He was also very new to blood magic and the rituals involving it; if he'd started smaller it might've gone better, as a ton of witch rituals, spells, and even potion work require a blood sacrifice-- but this was the first thing he attempted. He went in completely blind, and it. Didn't work out, which is probably for the best. - He needed a LOT of blood for the ritual, hence why the scars on each arm are large and long; he was going to make sure it worked, even if he was being really stupidly careless with the approach-- and then his dad walked in before he finished the ritual. - A reoccurring theme you'll notice is that Paul's (blood heavy) rituals get interrupted before he finishes; they're very focus heavy and the slightest interruption can ruin it. He thinks he's just fucking up the ritual by doing something wrong or not offering enough of his blood. - Anyways, Mr. Holden, being an asshole, was more pissed off by the mess Paul was making; his mother mirrored that emotion, but her anger was because he failed the ritual. She doesn't care that he's actively bleeding out, she's upset that he couldn't successfully contain himself. - As seen in the doodles in here beneath the cut, Paul had to patch himself up; a trip to the hospital would require an explanation or Paul would be framed as suicidal, and god forbid their reputation be effected. He could've probably healed himself to make it easier to at least manage, but his father insisted he had to live with the consequences- and the scars. - Paul's fully forced to hide 'em as well, they're "disgusting" and "something he should be ashamed of"

- The second time, was after he moved into the Curtis home. - I've already made it very loud and clear that Paul carry's a lot of guilt, including generational due to the fact that his great-great-whatever-the-fuck-grandmother was the one who caused the curse. He's fine with his curse for a good bit after easing into the greasers, but watching how their treated makes that guilt grow worse. Sure, HE didn't make the curse, but he's related to the person who did. - A part of him thinks that, if the bloodline ends with him, it'll free the next generation as well. This is why he's so careless with blood rituals even when they're not in the attempt to get rid of his power. Either he successfully gets rid of the curse, or dies trying. In the long run, both options eliminate the bloodline. - (It's good to note this wouldn't work, by the way. The curse is set over Tulsa, and nothing would happen if the witch's bloodline ended. The guilt’s just convinced him that he’s directly apart of why it still exists; and his mom pushed that narrative as well.) - So, after finding out what his mom did to him and learning the fact that he can create his own blood magic spells; he looks into that for a more.. permanent solution to ridding himself of his magic. - Paul does not know the curse is tied to his life force. - He's long since had his own area for all his witchy shit at the Curtis house, since his witchcraft does usually require a bit of privacy (focus related, and he just feels weird being watched doing it) so it was merely a matter of shutting himself in. They're lucky he doesn't know a locking spell - The same thing repeats as it did the first time. - Darry's the one who walks in on him, because Johnny got death flashes about it. - In contrast to Mr. and Mrs. Holden, though, Darry nearly has a fucking aneurysm. He knows absolutely nothing about this blood magic stuff, meaning he's walking in on his boyfriend with his arms cut open, the air heavy with magic, and goddamn how the fuck is Paul not dead because that is so much fucking blood. He thinks it's some kind of self-harm thing (and it technically is, because there's much smarter ways for Paul to get his blood without almost killing himself.) - Paul tries to go "I can explain" but Darry's picking his ass up and dragging him inside - Darry's absolutely horrified, he's so fucking shaken and so is Paul; not because of what he's done, but because he hates that he's freaking out Darry like this. - It's a rough night for both of them.

- Timewing proposed the idea that Paul considers trying again, but he ends up looking at Darry and being soft after thinking abt what could happen just like "..I couldn't do that to him. I've hurt him enough." - Which is very silly we enjoyed it. - If Paul did succeed he would NOT have died immediately. He'd just progressively get weaker and weaker until, inevitably, he doesn't wake up.

Long ass paragraphs I apologize.

[nonexistent-introvert]

Only love can hurt like this

 Pairing: Stephen Strange x F!Reader (Max, replace with any name u like)

Summary: In order to save him, she had to place a curse on herself

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: Hanahaki disease, angst, blood, unrequited love

A/N: Here you guys go. Sorry for the angst, if it wasn’t clear enough this is set after the events in MoM. I hope you guys like it and feel free to comment abt what you think. I’ll take this time to ask a genuine question, since my stories are mostly in third person, would yall be ok if i just keep using the name Max but yall feel free to replace it with anyth. 

  Max clutched onto her chest, wheezing and coughing onto the ground as blood spilled from her lips. Falling helplessly to the ground the moment she managed to stumble into her own private quarters. 

    “I love you in every universe.” 

     The words replayed in her head, like an endless loop despite the pain she was going through. For all she knew, it was making the pain worse as her heart beat against her rib cage and Max felt her head constrict at every beat, her ears ringing In pain. She laid on the ground, blood splattered all over her floors that she couldn’t be bothered to clean knowing that the fits were coming in more often and soon her floors would be even more stained with blood. Her breathing erratic, she clenched her jaw in pain. Why must she have heard that line?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

     The curse settled in too quickly for Max’s own liking. Not that she had taken the time to research chaos magic but how quickly it settled in almost proved how one sided her love for Stephen was. 

    “You know it won’t come for free.” Max nodded, “He’s going to die Agatha. I can’t allow that.” Agatha scoffed slightly, “This isn’t a fairytale Max, if I perform this curse, it would not be a happy ending.” Max thought back to Stephen’s weakened state, hanging on by a thread in the sanctum when he was hit with a deadly blow. Poison seeping in his veins slowly killing him and no one could figure out how to save him. Max swallowed the lump in her throat at the sight. “Just do it Agatha. You’re the only one who would do this to me without questioning that much” Agatha stepped forward, her fingers gracing her cheek lightly. “All this? For a man. Such a waste Max.” Agatha’s fingers moved in a pattern. “For Stephen’s Strange life, you would agree to die a painful death slowly if you have feelings for Stephen and these feelings are not returned”

    “I agree.” Max agreed immediately, she got hit with a painful blast. Coughing violently before blinking, it didn’t hurt as much as she thought it would. “The curse is in you. Seal it with a kiss to that doctor and the curse will be in effect.” Max nodded before disappearing through a portal. 

    When everyone was asleep that day, she gently pressed a kiss to him and Max saw the veins on his hands that turned black from the poison slowly disappear. His breathing evening out , he sucked in a breath and bolted upright. Max wiped her lips immediately, clearing her throat and with a hand clutched against her chest from the curse becoming effective. She smiled, “you’re back.” 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

   Max stepped back into the sanctum. “Dinner is ready.” Wong smiled, it was rare that they would have dinner together considering how all of them were busy. Max saw Stephen sitting in his blue robes at the dining table, she clutched onto her chest subconsciously, awaiting the pain that would come. “I-I’m fine. I ate before.” She excused, cursing slightly at her hoarse voice as she felt the blood rising in her throat already. 

   “You sound terrible.” 

   “Just a bad day.” Stephen stood up from his seat, his doctor persona overcoming him. Max flinched away when he was near her, from the pain that was slowly bothering her and also from his prying eyes. She did not need a medical diagnosis now. “I’ll go to sleep first.” Max fake yawned, smiling politely before rushing back to her quarters. 

   “Did I do something wrong?” Stephen questioned, Wong shrugged. “She’s been rather distant after I assisted her help to save the multiverse.” Stephen explained. “Maybe she’s just exhausted. She’s been looking rather weak these days .”Wong simply replied which sparked even more of a concern from Stephen. 

    Max fell to the ground, her knees getting scraped by the hard wooden floor. Her body bent over as she let out retches, her stomach felt like it was flipping inside out but nothing came out except for blood. Max felt herself getting dizzy at the amount of blood lost and the headache from each violent cough. “Fuck fuck fuck” Max cursed, the pain only got worse as days passed, she thought of just ending the pain, the suffering but deep down, she felt that it was being unfair to the people who truly cared about her. Then her thoughts gravitated towards him again and another fit overcame her. 

    Stephen stood outside her room, a plate of of food in his hands. He knocked lightly, “Max, there was some leftovers and I doubt you ate much so come and have some.” He shouted through her door. Max didn’t respond, he sighed. “If I did anything wrong Max, I’m sorry but I’m genuinely concerned for your- please, can we talk?” he pleaded through the door. His cloak nudged him a little, he clicked his tongue in annoyance at it but his hands found the doorknob anyways. “I’m coming in.” He called out.

    The sight that greeted him turned his blood cold. Max was sprawled out on the floor, clearly unconscious next to a disturbingly large amount of blood. Traces of dried up blood on her chin and her hands were covered with smudged blood. “Max!” He called out, quickly falling to his knees to help her. His cloak helped carried her to her bed where he assessed her for any injuries. Contemplating a little at undressing her but decided that it was the only way to tell if the damage was because of any injuries. His eyebrows furrowed at the veins that were bulging through her chest near her heart, that definitely wasn’t normal. His fingers gently traced the veins and it revealed the flower that was formed with the veins on her heart, when his fingers pressed against it. Max shot up and pushed his hands away. Taking quick breaths, although Max felt that barely any oxygen made it to her lungs. “Max, I was-” “Fuck off Stephen” Max gritted out. Her heart clenching at her cold attitude towards him. “You’re not ok Max. Let me help-” He replied stubbornly. “You’re only-” Max crawled to the floor before a mouthful of blood escaped her. She groaned in pain, almost screaming at how tight her heart felt, as though it was about to combust. Stephen’s eyes then caught sight of the multiple ancient books on her desk, his heart dropped. Witchcraft. “You made a deal with a witch didn’t you?”He questioned, his brain rushing for any spells to help ease her pain. “Stephen” She moaned, pointing to the door. “Not the time please, I- you’re making the pain worse.” Stephen frowned in concern but stood up to leave anyways. He stood outside the closed door, “Is this helping?” he asked. “A little” She grunted. A series of violent coughs escaped her and Stephen turned his back, almost running into the library.

   “Witchcraft.” He repeated in his mind. Wong jumped when the sorcerer barged into the library looking distressed. “Whats wrong?” Wong asked, Stephen pulled a book out, his words coming out at an impossible speed that Wong almost couldn’t catch what he was saying. When the words finally clicked in his mind, the sorcerer supreme’s heart dropped for his close friend. “Stephen. There’s nothing we can do.” He placed a hand on Stephen’s shoulder. Stephen ignored him, “Anything can be solved. There must be-” 

   “Stephen,” Wong made Stephen look at him. 

    “The deal she made, the flower, if she’s already experiencing the effects that means her only recovery method has been long gone.” Stephen frowned, “So there is a recovery method. We just need-” “There is nothing we can do about unrequited feelings Stephen!” Wong shouted, trying to knock some sense into the sorcerer before him. “Unrequited?” Stephen muttered. Wong nodded, taking in a sharp breath. “Hanahaki disease. It was known to be fictional for a long time, the person suffering supposedly would cough up flowers but that’s a myth, they would essentially be coughing up blood, or losing blood every single day through the most painful ways and they would finally die when they reach the day where they run out of blood to cough out and the heart stops beating.” Stephen’s eyes studied Wong. Wong wiped the tears forming in his eyes, “Only a witch is capable of inducing that disease but it usually is the price for a life or death deal. For reviving or prolonging someone’s time. This disease comes from unrequited feelings because for the dying or dead person to overcome their fate of death, Max's heart would have to beat for them so if Max’s heart is beating for someone whose heart didn’t belong to her, the heart would eventually get tired and give up. The more Max witnesses that it’s one sided or the more her feelings grow for that person, the weaker she gets. The only cure is for the person to love her back but we all know that we can’t control who we fall for.” “Idiot. A fucking Idiot. Did she think this was a fairytale she was living in?” Stephen scolded, his hands running through his hair. “Who’s the person she stupidly did this for?” Stephen asked, Wong could tell Stephen was breaking down on the inside despite the calm facade he kept on. Wong flinched, if Stephen said that Max said that Stephen was making the pain worse. The person she is suffering so much for could only be the man before himself. 

    “I don’t know” Wong replied instead. 

-----------------------------------------------

    “He’s fine. Keeping himself busy, he checks on you at ungodly hours, when you don’t notice. He doesn’t want to make your condition worse but he doesn’t know he’s the cause of it all.” Max put on a weak smile. Wong’s heart pained for his friend, her cheeks were hollow, her face pale , eyes swollen from the lack of sleep. She looked like she already had a foot in the grave. “I don’t have much time Wong. I- my body is threatening to shut down anytime and when my body fails to repair itself when I’m unconscious… I want you to give him this.” Max passed Wong a letter. The letter had Stephen’s name scrawled on it, Drops of blood decorated the letter. Wong swallowed, “I’ll take care of him.” Max smiled, “I know you will. Please don’t let him bury himself in guilt.” 

   Stephen, 

     You’ll be happy to know that you’re right all along. I’m a hopeless romantic, an idiot you would say. To die knowing that the person I love doesn’t love me back is cruel, but in a weird twisted way, it’s romantic because I know he will continue on living his life. Knowing that he isn’t six feet under is a strange comfort. 

    This curse is placed on me because I made the deal. I made it so that you could survive so I hope you don’t waste that chance away, don’t bury yourself in guilt , smile and be smug knowing that despite all my insults thrown at you, I would die for you. The pain, only love could hurt like this.

   To be honest, I hate hope. When she placed the curse on me telling me that it wouldn’t affect me if you returned my feelings. I hate that I went in telling myself that I would be fine, maybe you do like me and I trusted in that, until the effects came in, and I lived everyday with the pain, a painful reminder of the truth. But I don’t blame you, because now even as I am dying and barely having enough energy to do anything, I’m sitting here writing this letter with the last of my strength, telling you to take care of yourself and live your life. 

   I love you Stephen, and you don’t need to be sorry. We can’t choose who we fall for, just know that I would be there for you no matter what. 

   Lets see each other again someday

Max, your hopeless idiot.

   Stephen’s hands shook. Tears running freely from his face as he sat by her bedside. Her body next to his, the Heart Rate Monitor at a slow pace, threatening to come to a stop at any second. He buried his face in his hands as he sobbed. 

   “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t notice sooner, please. I have so much yet to tell you.” He held onto her hand when the heart Monitor started flatlining, a sudden few beats in between the line. Stephen weeped, leaning over her cold body as he placed a shaky kiss onto her forehead. 

   “I love you too, I’m sorry I took too long.” 

   “If I see you again,  I won’t waste any time anymore.” He promised before leaving the room. Trying his best to keep it together, to not fall into a destructive behaviour. 

   He missed the pattern on the heart rate monitor as the flat line slowly turned into a steady heartbeat again.  

[chainoftalent]

Hi hi! I’m so fascinated by your chart abt which yanderes you feel would be easily beatable and which wouldn’t. I’m a bit curious why Hajime is ranked so low and Id love to hear your reasoning if you’re able to share!!

Sending good vibes from my slice of the world <33

to be clear this before Izuru hajime, after Izuru hajime shares the spot with Izuru

but the thing with hajime is that he’s a bit of a ~tsundere~ as well so he’s going to not make any giant moves fast, and he’s got a lot of very clear mental vulnerabilities along with being very susceptible to being talked into questionable things. Plus a lack of talent and the fact his family is running out of money thanks to being a reserve means he lacks a lot of resources others would have.

He’s also one of the more realist thinking characters in the series, he would be able to rationalize himself out of the more extreme options like kidnapping for the most part. Like he’d want to but he’d be able to remind himself that he’d probably be caught and then everything’s fucked.

So putting all this together and you’ve got someone who already isn’t a big threat at least in comparison to other characters, with very clear mental hang ups, and lacks any kind of connection or privilege or anything that would stop you from like, getting help from the people around you or snapping back.

I simply would just be like “sorry I only date ultimates” and then he’d mope and be like “why aren’t I an ultimate” and then hopes peak shoves the Izuru paperwork at him even harder and then that solves that issue because either this is a tragedy universe and I have bigger problems of even surviving long enough for him to become a theoretical problem again, or it’s not so he’s probably gonna be stuck as Izuru and probably never remember I exist.

I could also just like, move away, the fuck he gonna do about it? He’s stuck at the Hope’s Peak area and he’s not gonna leave that behind, get fucked Hajime.

[mars-ipan]

i also have a quick question about the priest au, since the response to bees’(?) ask made me kinda curious; why does father komaeda take such interest in hinata specifically? does he do this with other disciples? has he done this with other disciples? im just kind of curious where his motivations lie in pursuing hajime specifically, and im also interested to know how hajime feels about the fact his Father gives him clear preferential treatment, if that is the case.

just generally id like to hear more about nagitos feelings towards him, and his history in this regard. (if vaguely because i know a lot of the appeal is that its ambiguous.) :3c

hca⛑️

hi hca! wonderful questions. some of these have answers, some of these don’t have answers, and some of them are secret! perhaps even secret from me oooh fun . however i do a thing with a couple friends where we watch hannibal together over discord. and i just got out of one of those calls. which means i am in the PERFECT mindset to think abt komaeda characterization bc tbh the hannibal manipulation/corruption arc (especially in s1) is very similar to the dynamic i try to depict between the komahiners here. funnily enough i do want to make a hannibal komahina au eventually but shhh it’s fine it’s whatever. super manipulative komaeda may not be canon but he IS hot so whatever (dom komaeda plays mind games i know it . but that’s unrelated <3)

ANYWAYS. i’m gonna give answers to ur questions under the cut, just to prevent a long post. weeee

Q: Why does Father Komaeda take such an interest in Hinata, specifically?

A: that’s a secret! however, i can tell you thay physical attraction is certainly involved. is there emotional attraction? intellectual attraction? that’s for the Father to know and us to quietly wonder about. there is also an element of power— hinata is very very vulnerable to manipulation. that being said, Father Komaeda’s interest in hinata is not superficial— it is genuine and visceral and obsessive.

Q: Does he do this with other disciples? Has he done this with other disciples?

A: Father Komaeda has never directly tutored someone like this before (hinata is his only true Disciple), but that isn’t to say he hasn’t done manipulative things to people before. the Father is a well-beloved priest in a pretty strongly Catholic town— he has a lot of power and sway in his little sphere. whether he has used this power selfishly in the past is not something i think hinata would worry about, and as such i will not provide a concrete answer as to just how strong Father Komaeda’s influence is. it doesn’t really matter to hinata, anyways, since to him the Father is already almighty.

Q: How does Hinata feel about Father Komaeda giving him preferential treatment?

A: you’re not gonna believe this. he feels Guilty about it. quite literally his baseline. standard emotional response to anything is shame for that man. hinata isn’t blind— he knows that the Father does more for him than he does for the other attendees of their church. however, hinata sees this as him being both so pitiful that his priest felt the need to put more effort into him and so selfish that he would take advantage of Father Komaeda’s kindness the way he does. he’s kinda stupid (said with love nobody ever taught him any better it’s not his fault <3). hinata usually fails to notice the subtler ways in which Father Komaeda treats him differently, though. he thinks the Father gently places his hand on Everybody’s hip when he has to slip by them, and smiles like that at Everyone, and laughs with Everyone Else just as much as he does with hinata. he is… very oblivious.

this last bit is not relevant to any of your questions but it is a drop of priestmaeda lore that i’ve yet to be able to connect to anything plot relevant: komaeda inherited ownership of the church from his parents when they passed. he lives on the property, actually! take all of that as you will :)

[oz-moth]

Hi hi hello we've been trying to reach you about your Addisons' extended warranty :D

Sooo. Flair and Pay 👁👁 They're a little 🏳️‍🌈🫳✨️ /pos, what's their relationship like?? How does Pay end up giving Flair their redemption arc?

Also WHERE DID PAY HIDE THE STILL-ALIVE BODY. You said he 'ate' the first Yellow CEO (correct me if I'm wrong on the 'first Yellow CEO' part), and yet Clip is still alive because Pay doesn't have it in him to kill.

Is Pay just- slowly consuming parts of Clip in secret while keeping him alive? Or was the 'ate' thing just a speculation for Clip's disappearance, if Clip was the first at all (I think it was implied he was but I'm not sure)?

(Also *cough cough* would Pay get along with Scrollon from Brightgoat since they both have those cannibalistic tendencies *cough cough* /not forced to answer this one btw, just me hyperfixating and making weird connections in my head ^-^)

Also, is cannibalism just- known to exist among Addis but nobody really tries to stop it? Is it more of a hidden thing? Why is it allowed for Reds / whoever a Purple or Orange serve to just- not buy from them even though it's slowly killing them and it'll likely end up in one of them dying, you'd think there would be laws or protections in place for that, wouldn't there? Or are Oranges and Purples just so low on the social ladder that it's acceptable to mistreat them for some reason? (In which case OOOF, slay for eating the people who are mistreating them in that case)

(Aghh your AU is so interesting I love it :D)

1. Pay and Flair have a very on and off relationship, it's complicated as Pay wants to be open but Flair dosent as (While he's a asshole) he cares more about his job than Pay.

Flair ends up doing quiet alot to make sure he can date Pay safely. (Riots, he rioted on authority. He went from being picture perfect to a complete Rebel.)

2. Clip is under the Mansion. Not with the Spamton bot.

Hes lower.

(Not Spoilery I just don't want a make the post to long. Idm if U have any questions after ABT locations n stuff after tbf I could go on all day)

Pay knows where Clip is.

Also if Scrollon is the cannibalistic Pink I think your talking about.

Yes.

They would get along. Clip is in a specific place where theirs a Area VERY based of The Cutesy Cannibal stuff Scrollon has going.

3. Cannibalism is tricky. It's more not told to the public because they don't want to stop making them. Cus that means less money.

It also just means less competition. So Those who find out. Shut up.

4. Mistreatment is fine. No one cares. Their are social groups who think The Addison rank system is bad but no one listens to them. People care more about money.

Unsure if I made it clear. But Red Addisons/Higher ups can buy from their assistants. They just don't care enough to. They are made in masses so it's easy to replace.

It's a power dynamic thing.

If I missed anything or smthn you can pester me idm!

[staraxiaa]

I just read Sunflower and i kid you not, i directly send a 3 minutes long voice mess to my boyfriend. This was genius. Incredible. I love you. Please teach me. Please be happy. You deserve the world. My head is going to ne filled with this.

responding to all your comments that you've left here below - thank you, you are so kind. this is really long. sorry for the yapping.

firstly, oh my god. the one you left on sunflower LMAOO i laughed out loud bc i never imagined someone would like my work so much, that they'd contemplate printing it! i'm glad you enjoyed the way i wrote the reader - i wasn't sure how to characterize her at first, but she grew on me so much. i'm honored. hopefully one day i will be able to write longer-length fics with the same depth that i did for this one!

also thank you and sorry in advance i need to rant about my fics/concepts - im going to dump them all here, since you asked about them! i don't have anything other than what's on my profile right now, but i hope these suffice. if you have any more questions about anything feel free to ask anytime :). barring outright spoilers, i'm happy to answer anything! some of my in-progress works are on my masterlist ( only titles / pairings, nothing else ). they will be posted to tumblr eventually, and i think they will be long enough to also be posted to ao3! however, i've only started working on these fics recently (read: after july 1st, when i made this blog) so they probably won't be posted for a while, unless i sink into a sunflower-level brainrot again. but! soon! these will likely be in x reader format. here's a tentative list, i won't go too much into detail ( i really want to. i want to do it so bad. but i won't bc spoilers!! )

porcelain, shouto todoroki x actress! reader. - but this will deal with very dark themes (eating disorder, suicidal ideation, sexual violence, child abuse, and anything similar associated with the acting/idol industry) that a lot of people will likely find uncomfortable. will also take me a significant amount of time to write due to the research i need to do to give these themes (hopefully) justice.

pirate! katsuki bakugo x siren! reader. - i came up with the concept this morning. it needs to marinate for a bit. but the vision is there!! pure self indulgence fic!! i thought of it and i was like WAIT i am a GENIUS and ive also been listening to the song that inspired it on loop so. mild darker themes but nothing like porcelain lol

sukuna x kitsune! reader - honestly i just really like kitsune mythology and whenever i think of this i want to stick my fist in my mouth and scream because im like the POTENTIAL. i also really like aus about fantasy historical times (im a diehard historical xianxia cdrama enjoyer. they are terrible. i eat every single one of them up.) will also deal with dark themes, considering the status of the world/women during those times.

i do have a tentative x oc in the works - vampire hunter! character x vampire. not sure abt the pairing, but it's bnha. i can tell you that this will be an au, like i take liberties with the entire universe and rewrite it style, with an entirely new plot set after the entire anime. (afo wins. i think.) this will hopefully be a chaptered work, which also means it will take me a significant amount of time to write. i like to have a clear vision + most chapters prewritten for anything longer than a one shot before i post bc all of my past projects have been abandoned lol. theyre getting reworked into some of these fics tho!

finally, onto this ask: i actually showed your message to my parents after squealing over it lol thank you. i'm honored you liked my fic so much that you shared it with your loved ones. i am also glad that your head will be filled with this - that's exactly how i felt writing it! nothing else. just ideas bouncing around the rest of my horrifically empty head.

you also mentioned being taught by me how to write twice - i don't think i'm qualified for a teacher. i'm not even an english major :^). i just enjoyed english classes in hs, and write in my spare time. (im actually studying computer engineering and my friends think its really funny bc like lol an engineer?? a coder?? who writes?? i am simply Special)

however, i think i can say this! write for yourself, write whatever you want to write. my first works were published on wattpad back when i was 13. that account has since been deleted, and i cringe really hard when i think back to that time, but i think that without it, without the love that those few interactions gave me, and towards my confidence to post, my writing would not be at all what it is today. it doesn't matter if what you write is bad, or not at all on par with what you'd like - writing, to me, is a journey that you build up every step of the way. you will improve in anything if you pour enough love into it, i think.

( ok unrelated interlude sorry i feel like a wizened sage i should really take my own advice and focus up on school LOL. sorry if this is also like,, condescending at all?? in any way?? i promise i don't mean it in that way )

with regards on how specifically to improve at writing: idk, i'm not that much of an established writer myself. i'm definitely not as good compared to some authors whose works i've read, though i'd like to get someday! firstly, i think reading anything you can is important. the books i usually read are of the fantasy/action/romance types, and i am a serial reader of fanfiction myself. read as much as you can, whatever you'd like. note the authors that say something that sticks with you, cut up the emotions of their characters into a million pieces, hold them within your heart. i am the writer i am today, only because of the thousands of authors who came before me, because i carry snippets of them that i admired, i thought were particularly amazing, and tried to make it into my own. i think i said this in a response to someone else: it's amazing to see how different authors interpret a character and make it into their own, taking little snippets from a fandom, tweaking it just a bit to add their own.

read for your own enjoyment, write for your own enjoyment, practice with a drabble a day or anytime, anything that you want. love the process and every step of it. be like me, and think of a comment at 11pm while watching your cdramas because one reader told asked you if you really liked to make them suffer. think of a concept because you tell them that you'd like to write fluff one day, and fixate on this so strongly that you think of nothing else for a full 48 hours, even when you are sleeping, so much that you wake up, have an idea click together, hop over to your laptop at 8am in the morning on 5 hours of sleep after you sleep at 3 (because you're grinding) and start the grind anew. or, ruminate on your ideas! let them sit, let them simmer, plan it out as slowly as you'd like. it can take you months, years - lord knows. i have a concept i've been sitting on for the better part of minimum five years? i say this, because once an idea clicks for me, the flow of it feels natural. i grin whenever i think of something really stupid to put in, a sentence that feels just perfect, a reference that 90% of my readers will probably miss.

when i decided to start this blog, it was because i was like: it'd be really cool if i went viral! and also because i wanted to share my work, to motivate myself into writing. i write because i am delighted when anyone chooses to interact with my posts, to like my writing. but i also write - and i think this is really important - solely for myself. yes, it's astounding to see the numbers go up, and i've honestly obsessed over the notifications for like hours now im ngl. but i write works for me, in a way that i know i will love; that will have me rereading over and over going oh my god i love ME. i write for those moments i will read back upon and grin quietly to myself at my own self-supposed literary genius.

tl;dr, write for yourself, and write something you know you will love.

if you have specific questions, i would be happy to answer them. to the best of my ability. i write entirely based off of vibes. i am also not sure if you asked that as like an unserious thing but i still tried my best either way.

sorry if this took too long / if any of it is unreadable / stated a bit? weirdly? tried my best :^)). also apologies for the yapping, it is also a disease, and like with my brainrot, i fear it is terminal

[goldenworldsabound]

Pls tell me everything abt velvoid and diablo im obsessed with this ship

you're the best Nick 😭😭😭

First I have to Tensura lore dump at you so let's go

The world was created by Veldanava, the first of the True Dragons. He created for himself 3 canon siblings (Velgrynd, Velzard, and Veldora) and also Velvoid (who is the second youngest, with Veldora as the youngest). True Dragons are THE single strongest beings in Tensura. They have various elemental prowess and unique skills and are just insanely strong. They possess a dragon form and a humanoid form. So that's where Velvoid stands - exists from what is essentially the beginning of time and has been powerful the entire time.

At the same time, Veldanava created seven angels, which per cause and effect caused the creation of the Seven Primordial Demons, each of which was associated with a color. Diablo, or at that time Noir/Black, was the only one strong enough to fight and tie with Rouge (later Guy Crimson) who was ostensibly the leader. The primordial demons are...also insanely strong but not comparable to True Dragons by any means for several reasons which we don't need to get into. But Noir liked to fight, and once he tied with Rouge he was like damn. If I get stronger, all fighting will be really boring cause I'll just win. Lame shit. So Rouge got stronger and Noir just like fucked off for a really really long time. Demons can be summoned into the physical world with an offering so occasionally he goes to the physical world, but without a proper body they can't maintain that for very long.

Anyway my point is, they are both so fucking old and so fucking strong. And Diablo/Noir fucking LOVES to fight.

Oh, it's also important to note that Naming is a very important thing in Tensura that makes monsters stronger. So, Noir isn't really a name in that sense but more of...a moniker? It doesn't count.

So basically, at some point, Noir is like. I wanna fight a True Dragon. And he goads Velvoid into a fight. Velvoid takes it easy on him but still thoroughly kicks his ass. This happens often. He normally hates losing, but with Velvoid...he knew he didn't have a chance to begin with and it's so much fun.

I should note. Velvoid is practically a recluse. With power over Space and Void, they can create extra spatial dimensions at will, and their preference is Fuck Da World and hide it in a dimension with their hoard of random items from various collapsed civilizations, typically valuable or rare things a normal person would die to get their hands on. Watching the world and swooping in to scoop up anything of major interest is basically their modus operandi.

That being said, they are annoyed by Noir at first and think he's stupid and insane. Over time that opinion shifts, and instead of telling him to go lick his wounds elsewhere, they invite him into an extra spatial dimension to recoup. They offer him some of their own energy to recover under the ruse of, "it'll get you out of my hair faster" though it's clear there's significance behind it. Noir is beaming and delighted and he's a happy puppy demon fdkjsahfasjk

This just continues to happen after their fights, and Noir even starts to ask about the objects in their hoard, and they agree to tell him a story about one object per fight. He's very happy to get them talking more, and they're very happy to have someone to talk to who listens so intently and asks so many questions. He even occasionally has a relevant story of a time he was summoned to share (he is QUITE the story teller, he can go off forever).

Eventually one day he shows up to fight and somehow they end up kissing about it and ripping each others' clothes off and well stuff happens. It's new to both of them - they are spiritual life forms, they don't really reproduce like that (it seems they can if they want to though but that's a different tangent), and neither has had any such feelings before. They're also both demisexual or grey ace so it's like WOAH wtf is THIS but anyway it happens and it's a great time. And they just start referring to each other as partners but things continue mostly as they were except sometimes the fighting is fighting and sometimes the fighting is fucking- dfjsahfd and sometimes it's neither, it's cuddling and chatting about the things they've observed or experienced in the time they've been apart.

To them, "time they've been apart" is often centuries, by the way. LONG LIVED.

Also fun fact, Diablo fully brings them corpses or cool relics or whatever like a cat bringing it's owner a dead mouse and dead birds. And they fully praise him for it- dkjashfjkdas

Now this brings us to the more current timeline. Rimuru summons Noir (or well he tried to summon much weaker demons and Noir said no :) summon ME!!!! and showed up anyway fdjkahfs), Names him Diablo (thus granting him a new level of strength which is considered insane by basically everyone else), and Diablo becomes his second secretary fdkjafhsdj

Velvoid is only aware that Diablo has properly incarnated into a physical body but not because of who or why or how. They give him a chance to come greet them. He does not. And this brings us to a fic I need to post soon that I managed to write yesterday despite my hands. Point is, they show up, try to kick the shit out of him, find out he got Named, and want to kick the shit out of him even more.

So as far as dynamic in current times, the two of them are insufferable. Diablo LOVES to rile up Velvoid (this has always been true) as it means Velvoid will either attack him or put him in his place another way and he loves that. He also thinks their tsundereness is still precious and adorable even after all this time. He will also take literally every opportunity to gush about them and like this demon just goes. He does not shut up. He will keep going until someone forces him to shut up. Usually that person is an embarrassed Velvoid.

Velvoid does learn that Diablo doesn't like being called cute in front of other people, he gets all flustered and weird about it ("N-not in front of Lord Rimuru, please, Velvoid-") and they might use that to torment him a little bit. It's rare to be able to actually fluster him so they gotta, you know?

Behind closed doors (or perhaps inside of extra spatial dimensions) they're both quite cuddly and sweet. Diablo is a slut for praise and Velvoid will actually give it to him, and pet his hair while they do so and that sort of thing and he's just BEAMING he is the happiest puppy murder demon you've ever seen.

Also moments like Velvoid actually truly remarking that he's grown stronger, and truly expressing joy at him finding something that excites him and following that fully, and listening to him go off constantly (Rimuru is always shutting him up fdkjas). And Diablo more quietly and privately praising Velvoid and coaxing them into sharing their own stories and bringing them gifts from Tempest or wherever. Just. They show affection by bickering loudly and violently in public (Diabo is fully a masochist and a sadist) but also are sweet and cute in private (and sometimes a little in public).

I feel like there was more but all thoughts have fled my brain as I got soft for him.

[dogcodedcatboy]

❣️ 🫂 💔 💘 :33

HI JERM !!!! thank u for sending me asks as always u are very. kind and im glad to see u in my notifs my beloved mutual!!

aaroman pining is haunting bc they're just both so fucking Weird to eachother especially when they first start 'hanging out'. their relationship starts off purely sexual and then turns in to something else (this post is something btw). roman cant be gay for real so he microdoses it with a cool rando, much less risky than doing it with people adjacent to the company (ie. 'you hired your personal trainer to jerk you off' via succession canon). no feelings involved. the idea of *romance* is far too actually gay and stupid and he would /never/ do that...he just thinks aaron is cool and wants to see him all the time and maybe kiss and etc etc etc WHATEVER. so very in denial. ANYWAY the actual questions

❣️describe a time one of you almost took a chance at making a move on the other, only to chicken out.

for the purpose of their whole thing im narrowing this to mean like, an exclusively romantic move. roman would worry about this more actually. aaron has done hookups and can (sometimes begrudgingly) navigate around those boundaries. roman is less experienced. wondering if it'd be weird of him to buy aaron...flowers? its corny but it's a thing people do, maybe a nice way to say 'thanks for blowing my back out, my good sir'. he'd spend a great deal of time looking at rose bouquets online before eventually feeling stupid and worrying that aaron would also think he was stupid.

🫂 what's one significant moment of physical contact you had during the pining stage

ough...first time aaron stays the night in whatever hotel they meet up at...he's used to the pump n dump and just like, ubering home. maybe roman would call him a ride, if he's feeling generous. but one night its just so late, and theyre both just tipsy enough to not want to fuss about cars and shit, so aaron stays over. they share the bed and keep a little valley in between them. roman's not a cuddler and he's made that clear. but that hotel ac is COLD. and maybe he can stand to warm his feet up on aaron, maybe he should just scoot back a little for maximum body heat theft. aaron allows this, of course, falling asleep butt to butt with their legs tangled together.

💔 were there ever any moments of angst or jealousy thanks to the hidden feelings?

aaron is a beautiful BPD princess ... and roman is a traumatized abandonment + daddy issues princess... the weird jealousy despite having what starts as a no strings attached thing is absolutely bonkers. roman hates that hes not the only person aaron has this arrangement with but literally cant do anything about it. aaron is much more jealous during their relationship but in the beginning as he's starting to catch feelings he still gets weird about stuff. (once aaron lays eyes on stewy and sees him put a hand on romans shoulder casually in conversation one time its literally world war three in his mind. getting his gothgirl bff to cast evil spells)

as far as plain angst...i mean its roman there's so much angst and denial and trauma to work thru. and aaron as well. i can hardly go in to detail or this would get even longer.

💘 (if applicable) what moment made them realize they were in love with you?

this is difficult bc i think roman is horrible at figuring out his own feelings. i think he realizes hes in love with aaron like 4 times before he lets it stick. just like catching a glimpse of aaron laughing with a group of people across the room..caught off guard by aaron's stupid sexy voice and the way the light makes his brown eyes look like that and the way people can't help but stare at him because he's so magnetic...and then hes like. fuck. what. no. what was that. i was possessed. but eventually he can't ignore it.

theres a rlly great prose bit i wrote w the help of a friend abt roman having a shitty family thing happen at some kind of family/waystar event. he finds aaron and the two of them sneak out of the thing. aaron taking roman for a walk around the city. they stop at the restaurant aaron works at and he sneaks in the back to make them fancy pesto grilled cheese sandwiches and they sit by the water and talk about life and /feelings/, in the limited way that roman can talk about that stuff. he ends up opening up more than he thought he would. and i think he realizes then that he Really loves aaron and doesnt want to just be fuckbuddies or whatever they are

[wind-kin]

First divider: @enchanthings /// Second divider: unknown

Welcome to my blog!

🎐Name: Anemos / Aria

🎐Prns: they/he/she

🎐Kins: Windkin, dragonkin, humankin

🎐Orientation: Aplatonic, aroace, agender

🎐From: Brazil

Hello hello! My name is Anemos, I'm a dragon and also the personification of the wind :3 I awakened myself as otherkin this year, so there is a lot I'm figuring out yet haha. Feel free to interact and ask questions! Beweare that any hatemail will be insta reported and blocked.

This is radical inclusive blog. I strongly believe that as long it's not bringing harm to anybody, people are free to identify with or as anything they want. And no, you discomfort is not "harm".

I dont like to participate in discourse, but i just wanted to let that clear.

Less known kin are extra welcome to this blog!

FAQ

Q. What is windkin? Are a concept or an elemental?

A. There is no official coining of that label, but i think being windkin is identifying as the wind in one or another. Yes to both lol i dont care much abt microlabels.

The best and only i can describe my identity is being the personification of the wind, especially carrying on the ideas surrounding the "wind", like freedom, open-mindedness, fun or sociability that makes up my personality. Because of that, i kinda relate to birds, but I guess not enough to it be a hearttype.

Q. What is your dragon type? Are you a Western or Eastern dragon?

A. I don't know.....i'm more inclined to say a western dragon, but! If we are talking about humanoid forms as well, then i would be something like the Vidyadhara from HSR which is obviously eastern-based.

And since i imagine myself more in a humanoid form, thats why i use the humanoidkin label.

Q. What is your age?

A. I'm thousands of years old, older than the earth and sun, older than the black hole from the center of our galaxy, i'm eons far from your comprehension and i will die only when this universe implodes.

I'm a-silly-guy-years-old this year :3 thanks for asking!!! (* >ω<)

Q. Do you have any hearttypes?

A. Hmmm i never felt one strong enough to call it a hearttype....but i relate somewhat with robots, birds and cats

Q. How did you awaken?

A. Ok both for dragonkin and windkin its kinda funny. So. I read a LOT of fantasy, like, a lot lot. Especially webnovels. And i discovered my kintypes by reading.

One day i was reading Tensei Slime bc i was bored and i was feeling HUGE amounts of species envy, not of the slime part but rather of the whole "almighty monster with humanoid form" thing. Then i caught myself daydreaming of being a dragon for hours and thought "hm. That doesn't seem really human or normal to think" and as an aro, i knew about voidpunk and when i searched for that i found the otherkin community here on tumblr.

For windkin, i was reading "Elqueeness," and i was feeling not only envious of the protagonist but also the Wind Spirit King side character. I put 1+1 and realized "oh im windkin"

-----------------------------

Tagging system:

🐉.txt = posts made by me

Aes = my aesthetic

🎐creations = my art

🎐fragments = things that reminds me of my kintypes

🎐appreciation = other people's art

🎐wisdom = advice/tips

🎐resources = what it says

🎐Kin appreciation = things like accessories and clothing that are based/resemble my kintypes.

[whoselabelisitanyway]

Hello i couldn't help but notice that u offered urself up as a resource for info abt N24 (sorry if i got that wrong, feel free to ignore this.) So as someone who very recently found out abt it and also probably has it, do u have any resources? Links or articles or anything for me to look at? Anything you could/want to share abt it??

Hey! Yes, I'm happy to write about my experience with N24. (It's not fun, but it's reality for many people.) The sad thing is that I don't actually have many online resources as far as articles and such. A quick internet search showed me Non-24-Hour Sleep Wake Disorder: Definition and Causes | Sleep Foundation which seemed to be a good overview (more articles linked at the bottom of the page). It's very clear that there hasn't been enough research done in a practical sense, though. Treatment options are few, and there aren't any that are at all flexible. Which, I'll just say it, sucks.

For me personally, my N24 is pretty severe, with my days lasting about 30 hours or such, so that I'm awake for something like 20 hours at a time. None of the treatment options presented to me (melatonin and/or light therapy) were effective (I have unusual environmental factors against me, though). That doesn't mean you shouldn't try them, IMHO - but I would caution you against accepting whatever sedatives doctors are handing out these days. If that's their initial reaction/treatment advise, ask them if that medication is approved and tested effective for long term usage. (It won't be - if I'm wrong, lmk, because I'd like to be wrong.)

Lastly, I'll tell you a bit about how I got my diagnosis. The biggest factor was a comprehensive sleep diary. Sometimes they'll ask you to do a sleep study as well, to rule out other sleep disorders. A sleep diary is crucial in helping the specialist evaluate the progressive time changes in your sleep patterns. I recommend getting a low-cost sports watch (with a small profile so it's comfortable to sleep in) if you don't already have one. That was a huge help to me when I was documenting my sleep patterns.

I hope that helps! I wish I could give you better news, but I do believe it's preferable to know what you're dealing with than to not - even if it's not something with an easy fix. Let me know if you have any other questions - I am not a sleep doctor or physician, but I can speak to the realities of living with N24. If I can help others at all, I like to. Good luck!