#also if anyone is worried for my health. i did not do this one by hand
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xiaq · 2 days ago
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Google is free.
But since OP didn’t want to use it, here’s a start re a few studies (or articles compiling evidence from studies) that show empirically and without any uncertainty, that abstinence-only education is, in fact, less effective at preventing pregnancy and STDs than comprehensive sexual education.
NPR
Journal of Adolescent Health
CDC and SIECUS statistics
Fact sheet with links to multiple resources/studies
Aside from that. I was raised with abstinence-only education. I was a Good Christian Virgin right up until I was sexually assaulted my freshman year of college. For anyone in that situation, an abstinence-only education will not help. But what it might do is make a person so horrified, so ashamed of what’s happened, that she doesn’t receive medical attention or tell anyone until years later.
(It did give me a twisted sort of relief, because I figured I didn’t have to worry about preserving my precious garden anymore if it’d already been ransacked—but that’s a different story).
I bring in my experience to note that, aside from the statistics, I have personal knowledge that equipping kids with abstinence only education and nothing else leaves them vulnerable to people who will take advantage of that lack of education and the inherent shame that is taught in abstinence only programs.
Rape and coercion exist and (typically older, male) predators will do their level best to loophole their way into a (typically younger, female)’s pants using language they’re familiar with. I know MULTIPLE girls who got pregnant in high school or in college because they had no idea how their bodies worked and relied on partners they should not have trusted to tell them. One was told anal sex “didn’t count” and ended up with an STD. One was told that if she was on top, she couldn’t get pregnant. Guess what. She got pregnant. I have many. Many. Stories like this I could tell.
Sure, teach abstinence. Abstinence is part of comprehensive sexual education curriculum. But if it’s the only thing you’re teaching, you have to recognize that you are intentionally leaving kids ignorant and vulnerable. Teaching young people how their bodies work should not be up for debate, even aside from whatever ridiculous morality you might want to ascribe to the act of sex itself.
(Also, not to be pedantic, but if you’re a Christian, a REALLY important part of your doctrine is that a virgin got pregnant. So. That’s not a 100% success rate.)
I will never not be amazed by people saying that teaching abstinence does nothing to reduce unwanted pregnancy and abortion.
It absolutely does. It is intrinsically linked to the logic that you should not sleep with anyone you would be horrified to have a child with. All women should understand that she can get pregnant even when on birth control.
Not teaching abstinence is a big part of why people think there is such thing as safe sex. (Spoiler warning: that isn't a real thing.) And the idea of safe sex is why women engage in risky and reckless sexual behavior.
Also, you literally cannot get pregnant if you are not having sex. It has a 100% success rate.
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hellsitegenetics · 1 year ago
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What's the sequence for the script of the pilot of the big bang theory
Script here
String identified (with everything unnecessary removed):
TGAGTTttCcaTATctattatcTctttattatcttctacaacttatttttctattatcCGAATTTCCATGAAaAtataAATCTATTCACTAACTAGTCATTATTAATACTTACTATATAATAAAGTACTAGTGAATggaagatttgtattattcAatcatgtttaatatattgtagatcatgaatggttgcacatatatgatgtTGAGTTATtCAAAtcatagAtatctttgcttgaaggtattattatgaatattaaacAttAtcttttcagtTattactatatttttTGAGTTATtCAAttatcatacaACTCTTCTAATAATATTCTGACTACTcATATTTagAacAgagtattacCttgcattactacATaaATACaAattTatatgtggggTGAGTTATtCAttagaatttaacAtatcATAgtccaTAcattatttgtATATACagatagaccccgttattATAtattattccagATTaaAtttagactgtcCttcttgtataatatattaTATActtacTGAGTTATtCAATAattgactagATAattcattaaaaagaatTcaATTAtcacttgtcaactcatcgacattttaatTTATTGAGTTATtCCGTTAATTATAAaAAGAGTATACTGTTATATATTAATTgaggtaatAtagaggaaaaactaaattagtagAttttaatgtaTCCATCTattaa
ttgtgattaTGAGTTATtCAtatgtagtattattttATtTattgtttatatatcacTTTAACTTATTATTAATTAtattttagctataattaTTTCTACCTCATTAAATGACGTCAATGTATAATTACTATATCAATAATTGAGTTATtCAgtAAgcatttgAgcactattacttatattAatacTATCACATGAAAAATTTAGTTTCTACTTACTgtcaccACaagATATGATCTTCCCCTCTGAGtttaaAtttaTGAGTTATtCtgaatagaGTtaggctcTTATACAAaacagctgttTAtatgTAAAaTCATTAATTCTGAGTTATtCAacttgTtGttaAAAACTTAATTCGTACTATTTTGACTTTAAAATTCTTAATTAGGAAAAATCATAAATCTCACTTGAAATATACTAGAAACTATATTAatctatAggtgtaaataaatgtcactatggttTGAGTTATtCAatatatTtctccatactctAatagttattaAggtggggttactaagagcatTattAttctttataaatgaatACTttTTTAACTTCTACAAgaTGAGTTATtCAaattctcagagaAggtgtactcataatggtgacacaa
actgctAcaataaatatatttatacactgtatatttcttactatgtatttcttgtatAaTattagTGAGTTATtCCTAATAATCTTAGAATTTATTTTTCTctagaggtttttttatttatatatgtataaaaAAGatCatCTTATTTGAGTTATtAACTCAATAAAATTTATAattaaAAATTAATTAaatTCTTaAtcAGAAATACTTAATAATCTCttatCTTGAAActatatTGAGTTATtACTattatcactatttgtgatgTatatttatataattatggaATaAaaaataACATATGAATATaaattattttcactaaatTTGAGTTATtAAatCatAATAAttatatTCCATATGTAAatattattttttatatcttttttAatatTatttTtatatTCCTattATTGTCCtttTGAGTTATtAttattcattcAgtttattcgttaattattcatctattcttataccatgtattacttataagtattcttcaggcataatcataaattcgttatttcATTTATAACATGAGTTATtAAatctacaatTattttaaatcattAtTagtagggttgAatagtacaAtagatcacatA
aAAAATTatgggTGAGTTATtAAAAtgaggtgCAGGTCTtatagatTataaagttacattattttatatcattactatattaattattatactatattttactatAtattgtatatagttatatggttatatcaaaatggccTGAGTTATtAATAtaactgtaattatgtttcatatgaccgttTatttgacatccAGATGATAaCtgtatgacaatagcatAtaactaaaaaCtgAtataagtgtatgtatattTatTatAttatTGAGTTATtATATCGAACAGTAatagAtTTATATTGTttttattagacttAtattatatagtttcaAATAATGACAttcattaaaAaaaaatatTatgtatggtaaacttttagcAttactatgtaatctTGAGTTATtAACTttaataatcttTtatttgtcGTGTttgagaatttaATAATTatTTTATATATCTTagaatTGAGTTATtATTTATTGTAATCtatAataaaatactaattATatttatTagggattAatatgtactatcatgAatggtatAatactattatccataTGAGTTATtAAttgtatttgtaggcAatatttatatacaaatttatcattttcaggTaaAtGaaaTACATTACTATACTaggtctTAGTATAATAATCTAGTT
TTAAAAAACATATatttTAAtatatcTCTGAGTTATtAAatTATTATTATTAACTTTCTTAATATAATAATAACTATATGAAATTtatagctTATtagtTATATCCTCtcaacctcTAAtatATatgatatgTAAAtttagtaaaaTagtTTTTTGAGTTATtAAtaataTagTaaaTTTTATAattcaatcatgctAtaTaaactACTATATAAtatctgttgtttcttTGTTCCTGAGTTATtATcataatCaTcattacaaattcttgatacaTattatctagtcaTActcaagtcagTTTAgAAAATACTTGAGTTATtACTTCATAAAATTCTAattaaAACttcttAACTATATTcAatTtcgtattcaagagAAACTTTTTAAtcaaattaTGAGTTATtTAAAttctatatcaactaacgaagtgatatTAACTCattaAttTAAtccttttttaatagTAATCAGTATTATGATATACCTCTTGATTATCTATTAAGTCCCTAACTattttagtACACTAtATCTAGTTAAATCTGTTGAGTTATtACTgatgTAcaaataaacataggAtatTactctaatgactatgttTAAtattgttTAaggATTtaTatgtc
tattatttaaatattaaTGAGTTATtATAAatTtATAAatatTatttataaatgtACTAATAatcagATAACAAAATTTAAACTTcGttcttCAgaaggAATTAATAGTTATTACTTATACTTTGAGTTATtCCCTACAATTATAaAATTCAAAGTAGATaAAttgataggAtggagttgttctcatgtctActtgtaagacttgagttgtatTGAGTTATtCAaAttttaatAttataaccgtaattcacacggaAataattaattactatattttatcacacagatAttatatatcttggACTTTGAGTTATtCTAAAATTATAttaaAAAAAATTATAAATTGTCCgtaaatttTAAGACATTAACTagTCTATATagtcatataataTacatttaatgatacacttattatcctttTGAGTTATtTAaatttgtacattgcattttacaatataTatatttgaattatcATTAAGGCTTTGAGTTATtCTAATTGTATAattaACTTTCAAGATTTtcggttggcaAagataaacgATCTTTCTaAaatAtcctTGttattgTGAGTTATt
AattggtgttatatctatgaaccttgActgattttttcaatttgttgttatattgagagataACAATTCTTCATATCTttagtatcatAtattACTTATAATACAGAACTATACaATGAGTTATtaaaatatATatgatGATTTTAATATcttAtgatGATATCACTTTGAGTTATtCTAATTAATTTATAatAAAACTACTAGTAGATTTCTaAaTttcTtgttgActtAattcctagttaTGAgtcTTATTTTGAGTTATtTTAATTCTGACTCATTTTGTCCATCGATAGAAAGAatggTTgcatgttAaTTataAtaTtATttgttAtacaTATACTGAGTTATtTatttgggATggACacatttgTtgtgatcaacgATtttttActatAttatatTGAGTTATtAttatttacctaattgttataatcacgttataaAtttattaataAGttcaaaatattcaccttggttaattatctTTGAGTTATtCTAATTGTATAataAAATTGTTATaA
atgttatAggtatcaTCACTTTGAGTTATtCTTAATTATAaTCTTAAtatagggtgttatattatgattatAacagttctacttAtCatattGatttttatAtCatatGaataaaaTGAGTTATtAaaattgtaaaaattatctaataaccctctagtTataaagatacttCTTTGAGTTATtCTAAAATTCTAattaaTATAAAGATAATCTAATCTCTCAATTCTATTCTGTTATTgattccaatatcAttgtaTatcttaaatTCATAATCTCatagatTaATGAGTTATtTcagatacAaatttttcTTcAATAGataCTATTATTATAATTTTTAACAGa
ttTAATCTgtaaTAAACTCTAAGAAAaatatttaaatTGAGTTATtaGTTAGCTTaggatggattcAcTatttctgtaAGatTaTTATCGAGATATaAattgaatTCTTATAAAtataTTGAGTTATtATCatagatTGAtatatttattacTAAaATACTTTGAGTTATtTAGTAGATACATATGTGTattaaAGTAGATTACTTAAATATaatcataTaaacTatcccaTatataaccgaaccAgaacagttTTAAtatatTAATTATGCTAAATGAGTTATtTAGTTATTAataaacagtattaaGGTTTTTTTAtatataataaatattcagAAAAAATGGATAAATTAATAT
Closest match: Litomosoides sigmodontis genome assembly, chromosome: X
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serpentae · 7 months ago
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for the first time ever I set a long term goal for myself to work towards (save enough money for a six month solo backpacking trip) and life really does feel a bit better thanks to it. knowing that there's something I'm looking forward to. that I'm giving this desk job two years. that it has a purpose. so far my life has been very "let's just see what happens idk I don't have plans" but this? this feels good. and for someone who was so depressed I barely got out of the house two years ago it feels like a huge step tbh
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tealfruit · 10 months ago
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I'm just constantly on my bullshit these days. brain said fuck you feel everything and think about everything
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strwbrychffoncke · 26 days ago
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"baby ,i care for you,, 2.6k words synopsis: caleb nurses you back to health contains: fluff! lads caleb x f!reader (caleb calls you "good girl" + "silly girl" x1) ,established relationship! ,just some self-indulgent fluffy sick comfort ,chef!caleb ,kind of stern!caleb (he's just worried) ,caleb makes u take medicine ,two suggestive jokes (cause its caleb) ,like one second of angst ,one single use of "gege" ,he carries you to the couch ,he pats your head/gives u a massage ,lulls you to sleep ,one head kiss ,i think thats it note: not proofread! its 5 in the morning when i post this so forgive any mistakes i just needed this out of my system i need him to take care of me so baaad :x enjoy
-
for some reason, you woke early for someone who didn't sleep till the late hours into the morning last night.
what you'd gotten couldn't even be considered proper sleep, more like just a nap, but somehow your body wasn't too keen on slipping back into the grips of slumber that easily.
and somehow, you woke up feeling even worse than you had for the past two days.
even if your sore throat was mostly gone, you heaved out a couple of dry coughs as you wrapped yourself tighter in your blanket, shivering in the cold that surrounded the room (courtesy of your comfort, unable to sleep comfortably otherwise even if it worsened your current condition), and on top of that your head was softly throbbing. not wanting to deal with it, you decided to lay back completely to soothe the pain.
your nose was stuffy and runny at the same time, reaching for some tissues on the bedside table to wipe away at it, not before sneezing a couple of times and sniffling afterwards— it was so sensitive today for some reason.
you let out a deep sigh, soft breaths escaping from your mouth as you couldn't breathe comfortably from your nose.
how did it get worse? sure, you only took medicine once yesterday instead of every couple of hours like you were supposed to, but seriously, it was just a sore throat and a small fever!
you sighed, irritated that you were still sick. weren't you supposed to be the one with a good immune system? you and caleb often argued about it, and if he were here, he would surely use this as a point that his was better.
the yearning for his presence bit into the silence of the room as you laid comfortably on your back, shutting your eyes once again as your shallow breaths evened out.
you thought about getting up, washing your face and then making your way to the kitchen to make yourself some tea, and then something to eat so that you could take your medicine and then proceed to rest- something caleb would already be doing for you the moment he'd realize you were sick.
but he wasn't here right now, and even though you'd seen his moments posts about being out with friends, you had no plan to worry him when this was just a little cold.
you thought about it- you were hungry after all, and you wanted something warm to soothe your throat, but just the idea of going all the way down and doing all of that at the moment in your state was tiring.
but, you had taken care of yourself for the past two days like this. what was another?
you opened your eyes, pulled yourself up with a groan, swung your legs over the edge of the bed to slip on your slippers, slipped on the closest sweater and slowly padded your way to the bathroom, leaning against the wall for balance as your headache and sick haze had you dizzy and unsteady on your feet.
you washed up without much of a hitch, and when you exited the bathroom, you thought you heard a door close.
huh?
you thought it might be your mind playing tricks on you. after all, you were at home by yourself and weren't expecting anyone (even if you yearned for someone, the stray thought of him being here leaving you as soon as it came), and you couldn't think of anyone that would stop by on a random wednesday who also happened to have a key to your place.
you shook your head, pocketing your phone as you padded down the way towards the living room, pausing at the faint sound of the television being on- had you left it on?- before proceeding towards the kitchen.
you froze at the sound of light humming coming from your kitchen, feet subconsciously carrying your slightly swaying body closer at the pleasant smell of food wafting towards your nose, completely disregarding a certain bag laying at the end of the empty sofa.
your footsteps must've been heavier than you thought because before you could fully enter the kitchen, the person in question turned around, staring straight at you, spatula in his hand and smile stretching across his face.
"morning, sleepyhead."
you tilted your head.
"caleb?" you whispered.
"surprised?"
you took a few steps closer, heart pounding with excitement but managing to keep your distance due to your illness.
"what are you-"
"hey."
his playful smile quickly morphs into a look of concern as he studies your face, noticing your shallow breaths, quiet voice and slightly-swaying body.
"pipsqueak, are you sick?"
you jolt, looking off to the side.
"not really, its just—"
you startle at his free hand brushing your bangs from your head and resting on your forehead.
"hey! i don't have a fever, i'm fine—"
"your voice is mostly gone," he deadpans.
"that's—"
"how long have you been sick??" his look is full of concern, voice laced with worry.
"just the past two days.."
"two days? and you didn't think to tell me?"
"it was just a sore throat at first!"
"and you're telling me this is still just that?"
before you can answer you're interrupted, bringing up your sleeved arm up to cover the lower half of your face to sneeze twice into it before sniffling.
you put your sleeved arm down and sigh.
"bless you," he says, taking a once over if your state before placing a hand on your lower back.
"here, i made you breakfast, just- sit down, i'll get you everything."
"that's okay, i wanted to—"
"i have water ready for tea if that's what you're after, just sit down, i'll bring it to you."
he says it in a way that almost feels like he's scolding you, and you can't help but to obey and trudge over to the closest seat at the dining table, secretly grateful since your head was hurting more now.
you momentarily rest your head on the cool surface, missing the frown that adorns caleb's face at seeing you in such a weakened state.
he knew how prideful you were when it came to your wellbeing, and he also knew how, for as little as it happened, sick you got when you did succumb to illness.
luckily, from a surface level it didn't look too bad, and the duration wasn't anywhere near severe-level yet. he was sure it was something plenty of rest and medicine would help with.
which is when he vowed, while filling your plate and pouring the steaming water into your favorite mug with a green tea bag resting inside, that he would be the one to nurse you back to health himself.
just like he used to.
-
"that's way too many, caleb!"
"i'm not letting you leave until you take em' all."
"is this really necessary??"
"lingering sore throat, mild fever, headache, stuffy and runny nose, sneezing, dry cough. did i miss anything?"
"no.."
"then yes, this is all necessary. it's not even that much!"
"caleb, there's five different pills sitting in front of me. i am not swallowing all of that!"
"haven't you swallowed more than just this before?"
"caleb!"
you smack his arm and he lets out a hearty laugh— one that you're grateful to see (despite it being at your expense), given he's mostly been overcome with concern— before looking over the medicines again.
"fine, fine, here."
one hand drags an orange pill away towards him.
"how about now?"
you deadpan.
"you're joking, right?" you sniffle.
"that's the best i can do, pipsqueak. now hurry up and take them."
you let out a groan, but reach for the largest pill first.
"do i really—"
"yes," he crosses his arms, leaning back in his seat. "i won't say it again."
you sigh, taking a small sip of tea before slipping the pill between your lips, tipping your head back before taking multiple large gulps of your tea to help its descent.
caleb nods, uncurling his hands and reaching for his utensil to grab some rice.
"good girl, now eat some more and take the rest," he instructs, shoving the rice into his mouth.
you're about to speak but are interrupted by a small sneeze.
"bless you."
you pout at him.
he points to your plate with his chopsticks.
"eat."
"you're lucky your food is so good..." you trail off, shoveling some eggs into your mouth, delight quickly filling you at the flavor of such a simple food item.
the cycle repeats: caleb watching you take sips of your tea and shoveling small bites of food into your mouth before pushing the next pill towards you until they're all gone.
in no time at all, both of your plates are empty. he takes yours from in front of you as you sip on the remainder of your tea, nodding when he asks if you're finished before taking them away to the sink.
you watch as he rolls up his sleeves and makes quick work to wash the plates, utensils, and the kitchenware he'd used, mesmerized by the familiar movements but willing to watch again and again all the same.
once he was finished and the dishes were properly put away, he dries his hands, walking back over to you and feeling your forehead again.
"hmm.. not too warm. how are you feeling right now? are you cold?"
you nod your head, and he gently pats the top of it. you close your eyes in response, the gesture soothing to you.
he grins.
always so cute...
"we should get you back to bed," he murmurs, bending down to your level. "want gege to carry you?"
you crack your eyes open and shake your head, prompting him to tilt his in question.
"i don't want you tripping on the way to your room if you're still dizzy, pipsqueak—"
"i don't wanna go to my room," you cut him off.
"can't i rest near you?" you peer up at him, hope filled in your droopy eyes, and something about that hits him.
you'd been on your own feeling like crap the past two days (now onto the third) and, knowing you, haven't been taking proper care of yourself, prompting the sickness to become what it is now.
no one could guarantee that you'd been eating properly, taking the proper medicine and on time, and most of all, not trying to work while in this state.
his heart feels heavy at the thought, but at his prolonged silence and hard stare, you shift your gaze behind him, embarrassed, and speak up again.
"or— i've already caused you enough trouble, right? this is supposed to be your time off and i've worried you enough... so i'll go back to my room! i wouldn't want to get you si—"
"no, no, no," he quickly cuts you off, swiftly shaking his head before grabbing onto your shoulders.
"pipsqueak, when have i ever denied you of your wishes?"
you sniffle. he did have a point...
"and besides, it's my job to worry about you, ya know?"
"so come on, let me carry you to the couch, yeah? we can put on whatever you like until you fall asleep."
you smile, ever so grateful at how caleb loved to spoil you.
you move to stand up and barely feel your feet hit the ground for half a second before you're easily scooped into caleb's arms, laughing at the sudden gesture before he walks towards the living room with you.
"caleb! i could've—"
"nope, you really couldn't have. i saw the way you trudged through the kitchen earlier, pipsqueak. you looked like you'd fall over if i so much as blew on you."
you look away, small pout adorning your lips, sniffling again.
"s' not my fault... don't even know how i got sick this time."
"maybe cause you missed me so much?
"yeah, maybe."
his heart throbs at your honesty, plopping down on the couch with you before smiling.
"so i guess this means i've got the better immune system, huh?"
"ugh, i knew you'd bring that up..."
he chuckles, letting you adjust in his hold as you use his lap as a pillow.
"whaddya wanna watch, pipsqueak?"
"dunno," you yawn. "just see what's on right now."
you watch as he looks around for the remote, pointing at it being just out of reach on the coffee table. you're about to offer to grab it before you see the strings of his evol grip onto it, bringing it into his hand before he catches it with ease and begins flipping through the channels.
"cheater," you tease quietly, letting out a small laugh at his use of his evol.
"hm?" he catches your words, humming thoughtfully in response, eyes glued to the television.
"you say that, but i remember a certain hunter practically crying under my evol while begging me to—"
"c-caleb!"
he laughs at the way you try to swat at him as you're laying down, settling for a small thwap! on his thigh instead.
"sorry, sorry," he says nonchalantly, loving how easily riled up he could get you at the mention your bedroom activities.
"here," he says, free hand finding its way to your head, softly massaging at your scalp.
"this a good enough apology?" he asks, only earning pleased mewls from you in response.
he smiles fondly in response, pleased at your little noises and the way you nuzzle into him further, resembling a satisfied cat that just filled its belly and was ready for its afternoon nap.
he eventually lands on a channel with a classic favorite movie for the both of you, setting the remote down and using his now-free hand to rub soothing circles into your back.
"you know, wearing my clothes while you're sick is a little selfish, don't you think?"
"s' warm," you mumble, slowly being lulled to sleep by his ministrations.
"and comfy. smells like you..."
even though he teased you, he always felt his heart grow fuller at the sight of you in his clothes, and he felt some amount of pride that it was the first thing you'd reached for even in your current state.
"yeah? i guess i can forgive you," he whispers, evol reaching for the nearest blanket to drape it over your lower half.
in the edges of slumber, you can feel a kiss being planted on the side of your head, but you don't have the energy to reprimand him for doing such a thing and risk himself getting sick.
he sits back up, watching you fondly as he continues his comforting ministrations.
"get well soon, okay? ill be right here when you wake up."
even after he was sure you were sleeping, he continued his gentle caresses, comforted by the fact that you were there with him, and that he could keep a close eye on you.
so long as you were under caleb's care, you would be okay; that was something he would always make sure of.
-
extra:
half-paying attention to the movie on screen, he was already planning a soup to make you when his phone buzzed beside him.
it was a message from a friend of his.
wanna grab a bite later? my treat! some others will be joining too.
grateful for the offer, he messaged back quickly.
can't, playing nurse for my cute girlfriend tonight~
aw, next time, then!
he placed his phone back down, looking back at you and brushing stray hair out of your face as he thought back to your words.
"can't i rest near you?"
you'd looked so helpless, almost like you were expecting him to refuse you and make you rest by yourself, but eyes holding a lingering hope anyway as they peered into his soul.
his heart is full, his eyes are full of mirth, lips curling lovingly.
silly girl...
there's nowhere he'd rather be than here, right beside you—
whether you were ill or perfectly healthy.
always.
and he would make sure you never felt the burden of illness by yourself so long as he could help it.
-
a/n: i'm sick and couldn't help but imagine the l&ds men taking care of me ,and namely imagined caleb nursing me back to health so here we are. caleb come home!
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leafsheep · 9 months ago
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Some random thoughts about Gothamites and scenarios I’ve come up with.
Metropolis citizen: Yeah so my exams were cancelled bc some villain took over the city the week leading up to them so the school said not to worry about it.
Gothamite: Fr? Last time a villain took over our city he killed anyone who wasn’t smart and had us take extra exams.
~~
Random Gotham kid: Hey teach, can I get an extension on my essay, my neighborhood was fear toxin-ed a few days ago and I’m just getting out of the hospital.
Standard Gotham High School Teacher: ohhh yeah…. Nooooo… sorry Jimmy but you know you had a week to do the assignment soo… you should’ve planned ahead.
~~
Health/PE teacher: Yeah so I don’t really wanna teach y’all today so we’re gonna watch this top ten video of Riddler’s shittiest riddles.
Student: after can we watch this compilation I found of the murder Robin interacting with stray cats?
~~
A Wayne kid just walking down the street
Gothamite: Can you give your dad this?
Wayne child: ??? This is a phone number.
Gothamite: Yeah, maybe you could talk me up too?
Wayne child: You’re MY age
Gothamite: Why does that matter?
Wayne Child: evident disgust
Gothamite: OH no, I want him to adopt me.
Gothamite: he’s our dad now.
~~
Gothamite: Did you hear that bizarre theory about the Robins being clones of each other? I mean wasn’t one of them a girl? How would that even work??
Bernard Dowd (made said theory for shits and giggles, also knows it’s complete bullshit): Maybe that clone was trans! Are you being transphobic right now? God I can’t believe you-
~~
Reporter: Video feed shows the infamous Red Hood standing bewildered next to his motorcycle at four am this morning, having apparently found it missing his tires. Eyewitnesses to the scene report Bludhaven Vigilante laughing outside of camera view.
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1lovepeace · 10 months ago
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I genuinely agree with your take. It's true that the trauma Rayla experienced doesn't excuse her actions, but it deeply explains the reasoning behind it. And in a way, you see Amaya soften up after seeing herself in Rayla in terms of being stoic, strong, and lonely in handing things alone. She's opened up more. Callum refuses to let Rayla push him away, that everything they do and face, they do it together, accepting his help and leaning on him for support. Little by little, she's growing and maturing, and I'm proud of her. There's still a long way to go for her, but she will get there.
With all the time that all four of Rayla's parents have spent self-reflecting, whether in the coins or while being alone and self-isolated from the community over the last two years, I sincerely hope that it can transition to all five of them reconciling, healing and repairing their broken, fractured family. No doubt that all 4 of her parents are incredibly scarred, haunted, devastated, and extremely hurt by the failures and negligence committed. Imagine the uncontrollable, horrifying nightmares they must be having of Rayla, being tormented by her memory every night. Their hurt, pain, heartbreak, emotional/psychological torture, and suffering are perhaps far worse than we imagined. I wouldn't even know where to begin with addressing Moonfam's family issues. But they deserve to have their family again after all they've been through.
But Rayla also has a right to feel and express her anger, resentment, disdain, animosity, and even her rage towards all four of her parents for what they put her through. Let her say what she needs to say. Let Rayla be angry and messy.
Seeing people crap on arc two Rayla genuinely makes me sad. I don't think many people truly realize the depth of Rayla's isolation. What happened to all the characters in arc one was horrible (I am not down playing that), Callum and Ezran lost their father, and Soren lost his family, but they all had Katolis to go back to. Their home. Rayla lost EVERYTHING. She lost the assassins who she grew up with and trained her, she lost her home, and worst of all she lost her parents. She lost Runaan and Ethari in one go, only months after her parents. And all she had to remember them by was what they taught her. And they taught her self sacrifice, they taught her to do questionable things in the name of protection and the greater good. Viren threatened everything she loved which WAS Callum and Ezran, and she thought he was still alive. She was stuck in fight or flight mode, she was bathed in trauma. And she had a point in TTM, everyone was just moving on, and didn't take or let her have anytime to truly grieve. She was in such a dark place in TTM and it influenced her decisions. She knows she did something wrong, she knows she hurt Callum. She hasn't brought herself to apologize yet, but why did we stop treating her as human? (Or elf, as it were)
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Also hi, I've recently been liberated from TDP reddit
#he gets it better than anyone. and i fully believe that him knowing that is part of why he did eventually accept her back and fight so hard#understands the hardships rayla has endured with her family and society as well as callum does. callum was actually there to see part of it#for her and defend her once he healed some. i feel like some people who comment on the bond between rayla and callum in s5 being too nice#too quick or whatever may not have the most healthy relationship with some people theyre close to irl. i know thats making a big assumption#but when you truly love and care about someone and are mature enough you understand when its important to accept them back in after theyve#hurt you. it is NOT always appropriate to do so. some people are too toxic to do that with and theyll just hurt you more. but sometimes#thats not the case. sometimes you understand that person deeply and love them as a person so much that you accept them back. which helps#with healing for both of you. again. not always applicable. definitely have to weigh the options on if its worth it to still keep that#person around for your own mental health and stuff. but for these two. it is worth it. especially cuz they both know they have flaws as#their own people but still see it worth it to love each other anyway. its sweet. and i guess some people just cant accept that.#(and are also the kind of people that will probably just hate a lot of women characters anyway no matter what they do)#ive kinda lost the plot here. which im good at doing. but yeah. no one understands rayla as deeply as callum and ez do. and callum even#moreso than ez. he especially knows and understands what is tormenting her. which some toxic people who watch the show dont seem to#understand. also id like to add- the trauma that has happened to rayla does not EXCUSE her actions. what she did was still bad. but her#trauma does EXPLAIN her actions. those are 2 distinct things that once realized can help with recover and growth imo. and i feel like#callum knows that to at least some extent#imo more people need to understand the concept of 'this doesnt EXCUSE their actions but does EXPLAIN them' because it really is good to#remember for irl stuff. for both themselves and other people. its a concept i do not think a lot of toxic people grasp.#in any fandom and irl#im rambling so so bad rn im real sorry#< i hear you. no worries. i completely understand.#you bring up a lot of valid fair points#appreciate your take on it#apologies for my rambling as well#the dragon prince
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dontbesoweirdkira · 2 months ago
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How would Platonic! Yan! Batfamily react to Reader with Narcolepsy?
A/N:Thank you for requesting. I hope I did okay with this, please respectfully correct me if I got anything wrong or unintentionally offensive with this as I do not suffer from narcolepsy.
Warnings: Toxic and abusive family dynamics, infantalization, medication tampering, worsening issues
Masterlist
Requests: always open
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Oh my gosh that would be the worse thing to deal with in a Yan! family. Especially with one as affectionate as them.
Can you imagine trying to avoid Dick or Tim but just falling right asleep in their arms from the stress...then when you wake up moments later, they aren't allowing you to leave their grasp...oh how terrifying that'd be.
Anyways, they are rather attentive to your needs and observant. If one of the siblings notice that you are showing signs that you will abruptly collapse, they will rush over and quickly guide you to a safe area where you can rest.
The family is very strict on not giving you certain tasks that may be hard on your body. Especially if you deal with cataplexy. If you need help with moving something, or completing a task, just ask someone. They will be very upset if you get yourself hurt.
The down side of not having great muscle control or overall weakness is the constant babying. They treat you as if you were made out of glass. It can be quite annoying when you need to strengthen your muscles even if it's very difficult for you. They also might enjoy keeping you weak and vulnerable because you have less of a chance to escape and no real ability to fight back. You are far to precious to not be in their care.
Your family is strict about not allowing you to hang out with friends and staying only in the home. Occasionally they'll allow you to have a supervised visit. They even may force you to take up schooling at home and you're not allowed to work. It's all far too dangerous when they aren't near to assist you. You cannot trust anyone outside of them.
If you suffer with hallucinations, whether that may be audio or visual, they will be very understanding. You aren't the only one in the family to suffer with symptoms like such. Many days Jason and Bruce are struggling with those things. I can't imagine anyone would poke fun, they'd just redirect you.
But his can kind of suck given that sometimes you cannot tell if something that happened was real or not. Your family may say that you were just having a hallucination but you swear that you heard them talking about tampering with your meds.
Speaking of such, they most definitely do. The medicine that is supposed to help with your EDS seems to have the opposite effect on you. Some days it seems like you've been sleeping for weeks. You swore that you feel asleep in the living room...why are you now in an entirely different sect of the mansion..???
If you suffer with memory issues, that will be a huge problem because so many things they get away with or manipulate you about and because you have no recollection of any events..you are just forced to go with it, even if your gut says something is wrong.
Sometimes the family can get a bit worried if you are up all night..they worry you might wonder off or get hurt while they are either on patrol or sleeping so one designated person must be up with you at all times.
Even when you're sleeping. Someone is monitoring you and your health. Usually Alfred or one of the siblings if they are free.
Often Tim will take the shift since he is usually home and doing work anyways. Too many times have you randomly woken up in his dark room with him in the corner watching you.
Your constant fatigue is an excuse your siblings may use to just carry you around without your consent. Yes, you were struggling up the stairs. but no. you didn't really want Dick to just come and pick you up and carry you around the house like a pet. It's worse when it's Jason because he throws you over his shoulder...he's working on it.
Alfred has a specialty diet for you, which kind of sucks sometimes when the others are eating your favorites. But it's for the best he tells you. It's supposed to help with your symptoms but...every time you eat his cooking, you just feel sick then super drowsy..Alfred says it's the adjustment period to the new diet..but you can't shake the feeling that the food is worsening your conditions
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leclarifies · 3 months ago
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strawberries & cigarettes (MV33)
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✰ max verstappen x driver!reader ✰
summary: you had a bad habit that you never told anyone. it was smoking cigarettes when you had a particularly bad day. max was nothing more than your co-worker, but when he catches you during a particularly hard night, he offers some comfort in the form of strawberries.
genre: fluff-ish me thinks, drabble
wc: 880
a/n: congrats to max who had an absolutely fantastic drive in brazil! here's a little gift for everyone in tribute to max's win last night <3 inspired from troye sivan's song, 'strawberries & cigarettes'. also if you want to be added to my taglist, please do let me know! i've been wanting to start one for a bit now :3
MASTERLIST ✰ ASK ME ANYTHING ✰ REQUEST A FIC!
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smoking was a bad habit of yours you'd like to keep a secret. you knew it was bad for your health and you knew you should stop because it might affect your performance on the track but you didn't care once you lit one up and let your worries fade away.
it was a particularly hard night and you just wanted to be left alone.
the sunset was off in the distance as you watched silently, with a cigarette in hand and lighter in the other, leaning against the railing.
italy was beautiful, but you hated today.
smacked with another dnf. driving for alpine had its ups and downs— more downs than you would like and today was no different. especially if it was no fault of your own.
"retire the car," your race engineer had told you through the radio.
you felt like you could cry.
it was your 100th race start and the fucking car couldn't even drive right.
but you did so anyway and off into the garage you went.
dragging a deep breath, you let the smoke in. breathing out only when you felt dizzy enough.
"i didn't know you smoked," a familiar voice sounded from behind you. you knew better to smoke in public but you needed it.
you didn't have to turn around to see who it was, you knew.
"not a lot of people do," you tell him as he leans against the railing next to you.
you glance and you see a pretty dutchman in casual clothing, looking off into the distance as well.
you sat in comfortable silence, the both of you not wanting to say anything.
it was nice hanging out with max, it was always calm, peaceful and quiet. he gave you your space and you always gave him his. tonight was no different.
"do you do it when you're stressed? or is it a thing you do behind the scenes when no one is looking?" max was the first to break the silence as you take a drag of your cigarette, remembering to blow it away from max.
"i do it when i have too many thoughts in my head, cigarettes make me dizzy. in a good way," you tell him, then he glanced at you.
"aren't you scared it's gonna affect your performance?" he asked and you shrugged.
"i came a long way from karting, if cigarettes take me out then it is what it is," you laugh almost bitterly before standing up right and look down on the ground before looking back up again.
the oranges and purples in the sky made it look breathtaking.
"is it hard?"
"what is?"
"being a female driver?"
you only glance at max as an answer, he knew the answer and you knew the answer too.
"that was a stupid question, wasn't it?" max chuckled before looking back at the sunset, the darkening of the sky was apparent, you could only laugh.
"it is hard, max," you could feel him shuffling next to you and you didn't know what he was doing, only realizing he took out strawberries out of his pocket.
"strawberries are better for your health," max tells you gently as he puts one on your palm and pops in his mouth, "they taste better too. i think it'll help you in the long run if i can help you wean off the cigarettes."
"thank you max," you tell him softly, dropping the cigarette bud and step on it once it reaches the ground, also popping it in your mouth in a similar fashion as him but you laugh at the absurdity of the entire situation.
who carries around calyx-less strawberries in their pockets?
"do you usually carry around strawberries without their leaves in your pocket?" you ask as you took another one from his palm which was stretched out to hold a couple more strawberries.
max laughed at the thought but he shook his head, "no, i just came from the store and saw you here, i thought you might need some comfort from today..."
"i should be mad at you for winning so consistently," you laugh, it was annoying seeing him win every single race but you didn't care at this point. there was no reason for you to be mad, only proud of him.
"you shouldn't. you don't have the best car this season, give yourself some grace," max said before you chewed on the strawberries carefully. you cringe as the sour taste of the strawberries mixed with the aftertaste of the cigarettes.
"the taste of cigarettes and strawberries don't go well together," you snort as you continued eating on the strawberries.
"this is a sign for you to stop smoking when you're stressed."
"as long as i get an excuse to finally hang out more with my rival, i'm not complaining."
"are you flirting with me right now, y/n?" max looked at you, almost as if the idea was ridiculous.
"no i want to know your strategies, please hand me some," you gave him and max laughed even more at your pitiful face.
"you'll get a seat next to me next year."
"what do you mean by that verstappen?"
max didn't answer.
"hello? this is not a sign for you to ignore me!"
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short drabble, i just wanted to write max without having to deal with off the grid :( hope u guys like it :3
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unabashednightmarepizza · 2 years ago
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𝑀𝑦 𝐶𝑎𝑡 𝐼𝑛 𝐷𝑖𝑠𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑠𝑒
A/N: This is definetly not me projecting my love for cats and Regulus. Also, if anyone is interested in documentaries, I recommend you watching "Inside of a cat's mind". It was really interesting, and also a seratonin boost for me.
A/N: I feel like this sucks but I couldn't think of another way to end this, I hope you guys like it!
Prompts used: "I love her so bad" from this, "you are my favourite, you always have been." from this.
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"That's downright ridiculous..."
"Oh, come on, Reggie! What better way than this to show your lover your new animagus form?"
Regulus swinged his tail back and forth angrily as he laid on his mattress on his front legs, even rolling his eyes at his dumb friends as they continued to tease him with his brand-new look. It wasn't like he could talk in that form, but he was so goddamn sure that his eyes gave his thoughts away. What started this conversation and the endless teasing from his friends was that Regulus could now transform into his Animagus form.
Which was a black cat. A cute and cuddly one, as Pandora said while scratching his ears as Barty and Evan made fun of him for being soft. He hissed at them loudly, showing his sharp claws as a silent threat as he nuzzled closer to the sweater under his paws, full of your smell and perfume as a little happy smile found his face, watching Pandora who had been petting him as she chastised the other two in the room.
But it did nothing to help.
Since when it did anyways? Nothing could stop those idiots...
Barty and Evan let out a bark as they rolled on their bed, Barty crouching down with his hands on his knees in front of Pandora who had been sitting down on the ground, shaking her head for him not to do anything that would anger Regulus.
But, as usual, Barty didn't care, and dramatically wiped a fake tear from his eye as he offered his forefinger to Regulus, who had been eyeing him with bored eyes and an evil plan, wondering if it was obvious on his cat face as he imagined the delight he would feel.
"Awww, look at our little Reggie! So angry and deadly, with his little claws and teeth~ You are so soft now, so cuddly that I can just-AHHH!"
But of course, Regulus' personality didn't change just because he turned into a cat and since everyone practically knew not to call him that name... Well, except for his lovely lover you, and Barty still did it...
It was only fair for him to bite his finger and claw at his face.
"And that's what happens when you mess with Regulus, Barty. He is still the same friend we have that absolutely hates to be teased and that's what you get..." Pandora sighed out as she rose up, passing by them in the common room as she got out. She didn't care about the screaming behind her, Evan cackling on the ground about "how Barty got bitten by a kitten" while the boy tried to convince him that "it was a literal cheetah that bit him and not a kitten" as if his cooings and awes weren't the reason behind that cat's anger.
Well, he warned him that he didn't like that nickname so he had it coming, right?
Regulus nuzzled deeper into Pandora's arms as the young girl giggled, smiling to herself at seeing her friend happy as he always was whenever he had that special clothing close to him. "Don't worry, Regulus... I know Y/N is in the Great Hall, preparing you food again. So, I'll take you to your precious lover~"
And if his face couldn't show the possible blush on his face and how comedically wide his eyes were, the way he jumped up and kneaded your sweater that he found in his room after stealing it definetly did the job.
His heart beated harder at the thought of seeing you, preparing him a plate with a cute frown and possibly cursing at him for not caring about his health as you made little talk with your friends here and there...
He always knew he was one hell of a lucky guy for finding someone like you. So caring and loving and supporting...
All his life, Regulus never had known love or care. At least not from his mother and her twisted way of showing love and his father's abuse. All he had, for the longest time, was his brother and even then, he never thought he could have more, deserved more.
More of that love and affection he craved.
So, after pinning after you since the firs year, he finally had the courage of asking you out... Even if he didn't want to think back to that day because of the high stuttering of his, a sign of how nervous he was and how important you were to him.
Because that mother and father of his might have failed at showing what true love means, he had plenty of times to secretly read all about romantic books and witness it with his own mind and heart. He often thought that they weren't real, that the author went overboard with all the struggles and fights the main characters went through for the love they shared with each other, strong enough to stand against every strong wind, army or even death.
He questioned whether love was worth it all, when he wanted something serene and comforting. He was done with all the fights anyways, he didn't want any of those any more.
He deserved that at least, right?
But soon, he realized that not everyone is like his parents. Not every relationship is disasterous with the fights and disagreements... They are what makes it stronger and more powerful, with every hardship that comes.
He learnt that without those waves and little obstacles in the way, the comforting relationship and tender love he desperately needed would never be his.
So, he gulped down his worries and confessed his love to you, in one of the many times that you two hung out in the Astronomy Tower. By that time, you were already aware of his feelings by the way he was so soft with you and actually seeked to spend more time with you throughout your days together.
Besides, you were sure Regulus didn't spend his time taking girls to watch stars as he rambled about each of them while subconsciously holding your hand.
But then... Another problem arose: Showing his affections, a basic need of a relationship in his eyes.
Because, as any sane person could tell, Regulus didn't have the healthiest of relationship with his parents even though he knew what they... had between each other was far from love. He knew he would never dare, and rather kill himself, to do any of the things they did to each other to you. He knew he wanted to hold you, kiss you, openly show his love, the way his eyes shone brighter at the sight of you as you skipped to him was enough of a sign...
But he knew he wouldn't be able to bear all the teasing his friends and his brother, with whom he recently fixed his relationship, would do.
And he hated himself for thinking like that, doing the exact opposite of what he wanted to do when you didn't deserve it at all. He didn't want you to think that he was ashamed of you, which you never did and gold him that it was fine he didn't declare his love out all the time like a certain older brother of his and knew he loved you through his actions...
But it wasn't enough for him, it wasn't enough for the voices in his mind to stop.
You deserved a man who wouldn't shy away, who didn't have severe issues with himself. Someone who wasn't the item of a fucked up ideology... Someone who would be proud and confident in both himself and you, slinging an arm around you while walking and give you anything you asked for.
Perhaps a free future... Away, in a cottage with some animals...
But he was a selfish man who wanted to be that person, to be the reason of your smile and happiness every day. He just... had to find a way to show all of these thoughts and feelings.
But he was bad at it... So, why not get the help of a cute animal to see what you exactly like? And show his feelings?
"I swear to Merlin, I will strangle that boy when I see him! He disappears all the time, without eating! Who does he think he is?" You angrily turned to your friend who was eating her fries as she stopped her hand mid-air and looked at you with her eyes and mouth wide open. "What? Who?"
"Regulus, of course! That boy will give me a heart attack at one point, the other day I found him literally choking Barty because of that nickname again!" You angrily scoffed as you dumped more food like an angry mother, but your friend only laughed because of the twitch of your lips upwards.
"Yeah, but you love him and his special treatment, no?" She wiggled her brows as she continued to eat and you sighed out in bliss, a loving and stupid smile plastering on your face.
And yes, yes you loved him and his stupid grin whenever he teased you and his sweet smile as he watched you do your own thing.
But it wasn't enough of a reason to not to scold him when you see him as soon as possible.
"Maybe. And yes, I very much so am in love with him but I'll strangle him anyways... He promised to not pick up fights and take care of himself better- Oh, hi Pandora!"
You turned fast to where the bubbly girl was coming to your way, excitedly waving at her when your eyes landed on... the cutest ball of sunshine on her arms.
"Hi, Y/N! I see that you are... agitated?" She snorted to herself as she saw how you changed your mood at the sight of the cat between her arms as you nodded absentmindedly to her, waving off her question while scratching the little cat's chin with a stupid smile on your face. It was a known fact around the school how weak you were to them, and also your boyfriend.
With you both being smitten with each other, y'know?
Unknown to you though, that cat was the boy you loved, and he was soaking all the love in like a sponge. He was grinning from ear to ear, as much as a cat would be able to do, and he jumped down from where he was seated between Pandora's arms and flunged himself up towards your legs, pawing at them to make you cuddle him.
Patheatic, his inner voice said but he answered with I love her so bad....
"Well, it seems that our friend loves you very much!" She wiggled her brows playfully as you giggled, not aware of the daggers the cat, Regulus, was giving to your dear friend. Pandora didn't care though, she knew he never meant any of those stares and besides, that was exactly the moment for her to leave him with you so that he could get his head out of his arse and see how much you loved him and didn't care if he showed his love around people or not.
Because, by the state he was in, he didn't know shit about the extend of your love for him.
"Then, I will leave you with him! Don't worry he is very docile and easygoing, I'm sure you two will get along well! Goodbye!"
"Wait, Pandora- Wow, she left so soon..." you mumbled in thought as you looked down at the cat still pawing at your legs with wide blue eyes, his pupils almost so big that his eyes couldn't be seen as he meowed softly to you.
"Aww, don't worry I won't leave you! But I was going to visit my careless boyfriend who forgot to eat, again..." you kneeled on the ground with a playful scowl as you took him between your arms, cooing at the loud purr he let out as he nuzzled deeper in you. "I think he will like you too, what do you say? Hmm?"
Yeah, love, considering the fact that it's me... I think I will like myself enough...
Throughout the walk to your boyfriend's dorm, you kept the same big smile on your face as you kept looking down at the cat and squeezed his cheeks with your fingers. Cuteness agression is really something, you thought as he looked around the familiar sight of the door to his house's common room. He started to whine and get angsty a little bit, not wanting this "cuddle session" to come to an end.
"Don't worry, little one! I'm not leaving, I will sit here until Reg comes back and probably beg him to let me have you all to myself..."
He meowed in response, wincing under his breath at how this was the only way to communicate with you. Love, you already has that cat to yourself...
You smiled softly as the cat sniffed Regulus' bed and jumped on it, circling around himself until he found a good position and stared at you expectantly. You smiled back at the cat and turned your back to him to set the food down on his desk. Suddenly staring at the dark sky outside and seeing how long has it been that you last saw Regulus, you sighed sadly, wondering when he will be back and whether you should get out of his dorm before his friends arrived or not.
Sensing your sudden sadness, Regulus immediately jumped up and meowed at you hurriedly. Even as a cat, he was weak for your sadness and immediately alerted.
"Hmm? Oh nothing, little guy... Just wondering when my boyfriend will come and finally start to take care of himself." You laughed when he hissed softly and almost seemed like he was pointing at the bed. "You want me to lay down?"
A barely-there nod.
"Okay... I think I can use some rest. Scoot over..." you shuffled on the bed as its silky feeling engulfed you, resulting with you letting out a relieved sigh as the cat purred happily over your chest. You trailed a soft finger down his spine and up towards his face, your hand patting him while holding him as if he was a baby.
And he freaking loved it, loved the feeling of safety of your arms.
And obviously, when cats were happy, they purred loudly.
"Hmm? Oh, you like me? I like you too, little guy! You're so cute and so elegant with your black fur and shiny, blue eyes." Regulus purred even more loudly as he nestled on your chest, bumping his head to your chin, and neck as a way of marking you. You giggled at the cat, actually your possessive boyfriend, and continued to play with the playful cat as he made several cute moves with his body and eyes.
His behaviour surprised you, since you thought black cats were mostly grumpy and "I show affection ONLY when I want to, human." kind of animals. But this one....
This one didn't even leave your side for the whole day and instead laid on your lap, purring at every chance he had. Somewhere in a muggle book, you remembered reading that a cat's purring often touches the paternal part in one's brain and that's why humans care for them a lot.
Which was goddamn right, even if it was the same frequency of a baby crying. But though a baby's cry was often irritating with its high pitch, a cat's purr was comforting.
Another reason to convince Regulus to adopt kittens for when you left the school, and settled in an apartment as soon as possible.
"And you remind me of someone I reaaally love, y'know? I'm sure he would like to have you... Don't tell him this, but you are now my favourite thing in the world!"
Wait... Wait, wait, wait! What? That was so offensive! A cat, who you knew for a few hours, took your favourite place?!
"Meowwww!"
Nope, he couldn't let it happen! The plan wasn't even this!
"Hmm? What's wrong, did I say something bad?" You wondered as the cat you adored suddenly turned pissy, throwing what you assumed as "cat tantrums" after whatever you said that triggered him. Regulus, though, started to pace around the bed nervously. You tilted your head in confusion as the cat he jumped up and tugged on your robes to make you get up.
Yeah, cats definetly have God-complex...
"Okay, okay, fine! I'm up, I seriously don't know what... is... wrong..." your jaw hung open with your eyes wide when the black cat you adored and showed immense love to was... None other than your boyfriend.
"Regulus?"
"Hi, love..." he shyly looked at you as his hand caressed his face tiredly, tugging on the skin as he grumbled at the stinging pain on his back while trying to relieve himself from the pain. "Damn it, my spine hurts..."
"What... I don't understand, you have been the cat?! All this time?" You pointed to him with your hands in surprise, still not believing that the cat was your boyfriend who apparently learnt to become an animagus.
"Yeah, I was the cat..."
"But... why? Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of you for achieving becoming an animagus," he smiled softly at how you didn't miss the opportunity of praising him for his accomplishment, and he couldn't help but wonder at how easy it was for you to see past the fact that he hid something from you. He expected you to be angry for hiding it, but you were just... confused?
Why?
"But why did you hide it? I mean, it's a pretty big deal and your cat form was so beatiful with your little paws, soft fur and big eyes- I'm starting to loose the point of the talk, so please... explain."
He laughed when you finished your rant with a blushing face, looking at him with a flustered face as you waited. He knew you wouldn't judge, Merlin knew you never did, so he sat down on his bed and patted the area next to him.
"Because... I didn't know what else to do to show you." You continued to look at him confused for a second, occasionally side eyeing the room as if a clue would suddenly appear and lighten whatever that was going on right now.
"Well, it's only logical to show me rather than throwing random bottles on the ground... But I think you don't mean you, being a liquid-"
"Cats are not liquid, love..." Regulus sighed lovingly as you knitted your brows and playfully shook your head before laying a kiss on his cheek. "No, they are! They fit into anything possible even an asymetrical glass box!"
"When did you see a cat do that?"
"My sibling's cat... Though it could be because it is weird..."
He laughed as you seriously started to wonder whether what you said about the cat was true or not, and pulled you to himself by your shoulders. He was grateful you changed the subject after noticing he was slightly uncomfortable but...
He had to be honest after spending the whole day with you, and seeing what Pandora said about you and how much stronger your love was for him.
Because he finally knew, he didn't have to be a cat spy to show you his love.
"As much as my heart feels like it could explode with love from you noticing I was uncomfortable and tried to change the subject," you smiled bashfully as you blinked your eyes at him, not stopping him. He sighed once before keep going. " I did it to show you... how much I love you and show my affection in the only way I knew."
You would have cut him in the middle but by the slight wavering of his voice, you knew that it was something he had to get off of himself... That this conversation was important for him in every way possible.
So you listened... And with every word passing his lips, your eyes softened for the fragile and soft-hearted boy next to you.
"I never knew love, I never knew how to love and show it freely. Mom and dad saw it as a weakness, others saw it as some inconvenience... Sirius was the only one I have, and even then, he was the one expressing his feelings freely. Not me. I always did it silently... Taking care of Sirius' injuries after mother punished him or dad beat him. I did it by stealing his favourites from the kitchen or learning how to make them when my parents weren't home...."
A deep sigh, one that told many unsaid stories and feelings.
" Then I showed it with taking notes for my friends when they weren't able to attend classes. I showed it by taking care of their many injuries that definetly weren’t a result of training but rather... abuse. Merlin knows, I know those kind of bruises like the back of my hand. Then... But then, you came along with your shining eyes and wide smile, asking if you could sit with me in the train and suddenly... I-I wanted to be more. For you. I wanted to be enough of a man to deserve your love and show it to the whole world. Like my brother who openly hugged people, and kissed their cheeks or nuzzled to them... But soon, I was reminded that I would always be his shadow."
Silence scretchted between you as you continued looking at him, not being sure what to do now that he suddenly opened up about why he was avoiding you. You definetly didn't think your night would end up like this, even if him opening up to you was everything you wanted, but you would never be able to know that feeling.
Feeling like someone's shadow, having to endure what Regulus endured... Something he was grateful that never happened and would never happen now that you were with him.
You wouldn’t understand any of it, but you could be there for him now that he wouldn't be alone.
"You once asked me... 'Do you ever hide who you trully are?' at the side of the Black Lake in one of our nightly dates. I kept my silence then, didn't want to scare you off with my strong feelings since it was still too early but not for me who loved you for 2 year prior to that night, but... I never did, not with you, never with you. But... I never felt enough for you. I mean... How could someone as amazing as you would deserve the love of some coward? Someone who feared showing love?" He almost spitted the word "fear" as he shook his head in near disbelief at himself and how "ridiculous" he sounded, and you hated how much self-loathing he had and how easy it was for him to point that hatred to himself.
You had to change it, maybe not immediately but definetly in time.
"Regulus..." you softly rubbed his hand softly to make him look at you, and when he turned his head towards you... You saw the tears pooling in his ocean eyes. Your heart dropped to your stomach harshly as you gulped and brought his forehead down to meet yours. A silent move to convey your feelings to him.
"How could you not be enough of something you already have, from the very beginning?" You rubbed his cheek softly, bringing his face closer to yours as you kissed his eye-lids. As if you were scared to hurt him even more, when what all the world had been doing to him was hurting him.
Regulus shuddered as a shaky breath left him, suddenly overwhelmed by the weight of your words. He lifted his eyes, looked into your own that showed only one thing and only for him: Love.
"You are enough, even if you don't think so and I love you, I loved you from the beginning." A gasp left him as his hands thightened their hold on yours nervously. You laughed awkwardly. " You don't have to say it immediately but... Please, don't be so harsh on yourself. It's okay to not want to do PDA, I already told you.... All I care is your happiness, that's it."
And with that, Regulus threw himself all over you from the immense feeling he was feeling at that moment, hugging you with all his might as you returned to gesture just as fiercely. After all, it had been a long day and you missed your boyfriend, the one that would speak about Quidditch nonstop all the while letting you sleep on him as his hands caressed your hair and rubbed your back softly.
Just like now, with the adding of inhaling the scent of your hair deeply which made your heart race sweetly.
And now that the stress of him was now over and you knew what was going on...
It was time to tease him back.
"Did you just get jealous of a cat enough to come clean to me?" You mumbled from your position where your face was buried in his neck, the tingles making him giggle as a groan left him at feeling your smile on his skin.
"Love, please!"
"What? You are the one who was jealous!" You giggled playfully, but your enjoyment was soon cut when Regulus threw himself on his bed with his arms still wrapped around you. You landed harsher on his chest than you imagined and you were worried you accidently crushed him but his sigh of contentment and the way he nuzzled to your neck showed that he was far from being bad.
"I can't believe you now have a nuzzling habit, are you going to knead at me too?" You hit his chest softly when his eyes shot open and an evil smirk found his face.
Oh, that's not something good...
"I already did it earlier when I laid on your chest- Oww!"
"Regulus Arcturus Black, when did you have a foul mouth!" You hit him with his pillow as he laughed hard and ended up on the floor while trying to stop you.
"What can I say, love. I have the most gorgeous lover of all Hogwarts!"
That little shit and his sweet tongue, knowing how to get himself out of any problem...
"Okay, you got out of trouble for now... You are my favourite by the way, you always have been, in case your childish self got jealous of a cat..." you grumbled out when his head landed on your thighs and looked up at you innocently.
"That cat was still me though..." he looked at you through his lashes as you giggled, relishing on your words and how they made warmth spread all around his whole body.
"Yeah, yeah, sure... There is something I have to show you though. I was planning for a few days now. Promise to not get sad?" He nodded without knowing and guessing what was happening...
But the only thought that crossed Regulus' mind, when he saw you changing into a pure white cat, was I love her.
As you swinged your tail around Regulus' waiting hand and nuzzled to him, he smiled softly and scratched your head softly while patting your ears. His heart felt so full of love and he didn't remember any other day he felt this much happiness.
"You are... most certaintly the most beautiful yet also annoying person I know. Being a white cat Animagus, completely contrasting me but also creating something so beautiful? Did you think I will let go of you easily after this?"
You tilted your head teasingly and let out a purr before changing back into your human form with your feet dangling off of the bed like a little kid as you threw your head back towards him to look at his raised brows while he tried to surpass the smirk that threatened to take over his face.
"Yeah, I know... But you love me, no?" You cutely smiled as you nuzzled closer to his chest, and unknown to you, he smiled to himself like a fool as he wrapped his arms all around your body thightly when your body reached where he was now sitting on the bed.
Oh Merlin, he already does love everything about you.
"Can we... cuddle like that? As cats? It could be our new bonding activity!"
"I can't believe... Okay, fine. Don't try anything funny though."
"Like what?"
"Like the meaning of that wiggly eye-brows!"
But since you both were weak for each other, you two soon dozed off like that, one white and black cat tangled together peacefully as their hearts beated the same beat.
Not knowing that the next day, Barty would startle everyone awake and embrass you while yelling "Our Reggie found another chich, cat, kitten, whatever! He is cheating on our sweet Y/N!"
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colleendoran · 1 year ago
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Great Big Good Omens Graphic Novel Update
AKA A Visit From Bildad the Shuhite.
The past year or so has been one long visit from this guy, whereupon he smiteth my goats and burneth my crops, woe unto the woeful cartoonist.
Gaze upon the horror of Bildad the Shuhite.
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You kind of have to be a Good Omens fan to get this joke, but trust me, it's hilarious.
Anyway, as a long time Good Omens novel fan, you may imagine how thrilled I was to get picked to adapt the graphic novel.
 Go me!  
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This is quite a task, I have to say, especially since I was originally going to just draw (and color) it, but I ended up writing the adaptation as well. Tricky to fit a 400 page novel into a 160-ish page graphic novel, especially when so much of the humor is dependent on the language, and not necessarily on the visuals.
Not complainin', just sayin'.
Anyway, I started out the gate like a herd of turtles, because  right away I got COVID which knocked me on my butt. 
And COVID brain fog? That's a thing. I already struggle with brain fog due to autoimmune disease, and COVID made it worse.
Not complainin' just sayin'.
This set a few of the assignments on my plate back, which pushed starting Good Omens back. 
But hey, big fat lead time! No worries!
Then my computer crawled toward the grave.
My trusty MAC Pro Tower was nearly 15 years old when its sturdy heart ground to a near-halt with daily crashes. I finally got around to doing some diagnostics; some of its little brain actions were at 5% functionality. I had no reliable backups.
There are so many issues with getting a new computer when you haven't had a new computer or peripherals in nearly fifteen years and all of your software, including your Photoshop program is fifteen years old.
At the time, I was still on rural internet...which means dial-up speed.
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Whatever you have for internet in the city, roll that clock back to about 2001.
That's what I had. I not only had to replace almost all of my hardware but I had to load and update all programs at dial-up speed.
Welcome to my gigabyte hell.
The entire process of replacing the equipment and programs took weeks and then I had to relearn all the software.
All of this was super expensive in terms of money and time cost.
But I was not daunted! Nosirree!
I still had a huge lead time! I can do anything! I have an iron will!
And boy, howdy, I was going to need it.
At about the same time, a big fatcat quadrillionaire client who had hired me years ago to develop a big, major transmedia project for which I was paid almost entirely in stock, went bankrupt leaving everyone holding the bag, and taking a huge chunk of my future retirement fund with it.
I wrote a very snarky almost hilarious Patreon post about it, but am not entirely in a position to speak freely because I don't want to get sued. Even though I had to go to court over it, (and I had to do that over Zoom at dial-up speed,) I'm pretty sure I'll never get anything out of this drama, and neither will anyone else involved, except millionaire dude and his buddies who all walked away with huge multi-million dollar bonuses weeks before they declared bankruptcy, all the while claiming they would not declare bankruptcy.
Even the accountant got $250,000 a month to shut down the business, while creators got nothing.
That in itself was enough drama for the year, but we were only at February by that point, and with all those months left, 2023 had a lot more to throw at me.
Fresh from my return from my Society of Illustrators show, and a lovely time at MOCCA, it was time to face practical medical issues, health updates, screening, and the like. I did my adult duty and then went back to work hoping for no news, but still had a weird feeling there would be news.
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I know everyone says that, but I mean it. I had a bad feeling.
Then there was news.
I was called back for tests and more tests. This took weeks. The ubiquitous biopsy looked, even to me staring at the screen in real time, like bad news. 
It also hurt like a mofo after the anesthesia wore off. I wasn't expecting that.
Then I got the official bad news.
Cancer which runs in my family finally got me. Frankly, I was surprised I didn't get it sooner.
Stage 0, and treatment would likely be fast and complication-free. Face the peril, get it over with, and get back to work. 
I requested surgery months in the future so I could finish Good Omens first, but my doc convinced me the risk of waiting was too great. Get it done now.
"You're really healthy," my doc said. Despite an auto-immune issue which plagues me, I am way healthier than the average schmoe of late middle age. She informed me I would not even need any chemo or radiation if I took care of this now.
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So I canceled my appearance at San Diego Comic Con. I did not inform the Good Omens team of my issues right away, thinking this would not interfere with my work schedule, but I did contact my agent to inform her of the issue. I also contacted a lawyer to rewrite my will and make sure the team had access to my digital files in case there were complications.
Then I got back to work, and hoped for the best.
Eff this guy.
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Before I could even plant my carcass on the surgery table, I got a massive case of ocular shingles.
I didn't even know there was such a thing. 
There I was, minding my own business. I go to bed one night with a scratchy eye, and by 4 PM the next day, I was in the emergency room being told if I didn't get immediate specialist treatment, I was in big trouble.
I got transferred to another hospital and got all the scary details, with the extra horrid news that I could not possibly have cancer surgery until I was free of shingles, and if I did not follow a rather brutal treatment procedure - which meant super-painful  eye drops every half hour, twenty-four hours a day and daily hospital treatment - I could lose the eye entirely, or be blinded, or best case scenario, get permanent eye damage.
What was even funnier (yeah, hilarity) is the drops are so toxic if you don't use the medication just right, you can go blind anyway.
Hi Ho.
Ulcer is on the right. That big green blob.
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I had just finished telling my cancer surgeon I did not even really care about getting cancer, was happy it was just stage zero, had no issues with scarring, wanted no reconstruction, all I cared about was my work. 
Just cut it out and get me back to work.
And now I wondered if I was going to lose my ability to work anyway.
Shingles often accompanies cancer because of the stress on the immune system, and yeah, it's not pretty. This is me looking like all heck after I started to get better.
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The first couple of weeks were pretty demoralizing as I expected a straight trajectory to wellness. But it was up and down all the way. 
Some days I could not see out of either eye at all. The swelling was so bad that I had to reach around to my good eye to prop the lid open. Light sensitivity made seeing out of either eye almost impossible. Outdoors, even with sunglasses, I had to be led around by the hand.
I had an amazing doctor. I meticulously followed his instructions, and I think he was surprised I did. The treatment is really difficult, and if you don't do it just right no matter how painful it gets, you will be sorry. 
To my amazement, after about a month, my doctor informed me I had no vision loss in the eye at all. "This never happens," he said.
I'd spent a couple of weeks there trying to learn to draw in the near-dark with one eye, and in the end, I got all my sight back.
I could no longer wear contact lenses (I don't really wear them anyway, unless I'm going to the movies,) would need hard core sun protection for awhile, and the neuralgia and sun sensitivity were likely to linger. But I could get back to work.
I have never been more grateful in my life.
Neuralgia sucks, by the way, I'm still dealing with it months later.
Anyway, I decided to finally go ahead and tell the Good Omens team what was going on, especially since this was all happening around the time the Kickstarter was gearing up.
Now that I was sure I'd passed the eye peril, and my surgery for Stage 0 was going to be no big deal, I figured all was a go. I was still pretty uncomfortable and weak, and my ideal deadline was blown, but with the book not coming out for more than a year, all would be OK. I quit a bunch of jobs I had lined up to start after Good Omens, since the project was going to run far longer than I'd planned.
Everybody on the team was super-nice, and I was pretty optimistic at this time. But work was going pretty slow during, as you may imagine.
But again...lots of lead time still left, go me.
Then I finally got my surgery.
Which was not as happy an experience as I had been hoping for.
My family said the doc came out of the operating room looking like she'd been pulled backwards through a pipe, She informed them the tumor which looked tiny on the scan was "...huge and her insides are a mess."
Which was super not fun news.
Eff this guy.
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The tumor was hiding behind some dense tissue and cysts. After more tests, it was determined I'd need another surgery and was going to have to get further treatments after all.
The biopsy had been really painful, but the discomfort was gone after about a week, so no biggee. The second surgery was, weirdly, not as painful as the biopsy, but the fatigue was big time.
By then, the Good Omens Kickstarter had about run its course, and the record-breaker was both gratifying and a source of immense social pressure.
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I'd already turned most of my social media over to an assistant, and I'm glad I did.
But the next surgery was what really kicked me on my keister.
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All in all, they took out an area the size of a baseball. It was  hard to move and wiped me out for weeks and weeks. I could not take care of myself. I'd begun losing hair by this time anyway, and finally just lopped it off since it was too heavy for me to care for myself. The cut hides the bald spots pretty well.
After about a month, I got the go-ahead to travel to my show at the San Diego Comic Con Museum (which is running until the first week of April, BTW). I was very happy I had enough energy to do it. But as soon as I got back, I had to return to treatment.
Since I live way out in the country, going into the city to various hospitals and pharmacies was a real challenge. I made more than 100 trips last year, and a drive to the compounding pharmacy which produced the specialist eye medicine I could not get anywhere else was six hours alone.
Naturally, I wasn't getting anything done during this time.
But at least my main hospital is super swank.
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The oncology treatment went smoothly, until it didn't. The feels don't hit you until the end. By then I was flattened.
So flattened that I was too weak to control myself, fell over, and smashed my face into some equipment.
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Nearly tore off my damn nostril.
Eff this guy.
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Anyway, it was a bad year.
Here's what went right.
I have a good health insurance policy. The final tally on my health care costs ended up being about $150,000. I paid about 18% of that, including insurance. I had a high deductible and some experimental medicine insurance didn't cover. I had savings,  enough to cover the months I wasn't working, and my Patreon is also very supportive. So you didn't see me running a Gofundme or anything.
Thanks to everyone who ever bought one of my books.
No, none of that money was Good Omens Kickstarter money. I won't get most of my pay on that for months, which is just as well because it kept my taxes lower last year when I needed a break.
So, yay.
My nose is nearly healed. I opted out of plastic surgery, and it just sealed up by itself. I'll never be ready for my closeup, but who the hell cares.
I got to ring the bell.
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I had a very, VERY hard time getting back to work, especially with regard to focus and concentration. My work hours dropped by over 2/3. I was so fractured and weak, time kept slipping away while I sat in the studio like a zombie. Most of the last six months were a wash.
I assumed focus issues were due (in part) to stress, so sought counseling. This seemed like a good idea at first, but when the counselor asked me to detail my issues with anxiety, I spent two weeks doing just that and getting way more anxious, which was not helpful.
After that I went EFF THIS NOISE, I want practical tools, not touchy feelies (no judgment on people who need touchy-feelies, I need a pragmatic solution and I need it now,) so tried using the body doubling focus group technique for concentration and deep work.
Within two weeks, I returned to normal work hours.
I got rural broadband, jumping me from dial up speed to 1 GB per second.
It's a miracle.
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Massive doses of Vitamin D3 and K2. Yay.
The new computer works great.
The Kickstarter did so well, we got to expand the graphic novel to 200 pages. Double yay.
I'm running late, but everyone on the Good Omens team is super supportive. I don't know if I am going to make the book late or not, but if I do, well, it surely wasn't on purpose, and it won't be super late anyway. I still have months of lead time left.
I used to be something of a social media addict, but now I hardly ever even look at it, haven't been directly on some sites in over a year, and no longer miss it. It used to seem important and now doesn't.
More time for real life.
While I think the last year aged me about twenty years, I actually like me better with short hair. I'm keeping it.
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OK. Rough year. 
Not complainin', just sayin'.
Back to work on The Book.
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And only a day left to vote for Good Omens, Neil Gaiman, and Sandman in the Comicscene Awards. Thanks. 
2K notes · View notes
felinecyan · 7 months ago
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Perfectly Fine
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[Keigo Takami x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: Hawks plays off that everything is “perfectly fine,” but you know better than to believe him.
WC: 2186
Category: Hurt/Comfort, Soft!Reader, Slight Angst
I don’t know why I’m so obsessed with Hawks and angst, I blame Conan Gray being stuck in my head 24/7, but here you go! 😀👍
『••✎••』
You knew he wasn't okay.
You saw him every day. You spent more time with him than anyone else in his life. He had always been so bright and so positive that it was jarring when you realized just how exhausted he truly was.
He tried. He tried so hard. He was smiling and making jokes like normal. It was so hard not to get caught up in his infectious positivity. But you knew him well enough to see through it all.
And his eyes said it all.
They weren't as bright and golden as they normally were. They looked dim. The dark circles underneath were a clear indication that he hadn't been sleeping well lately—or at all.
This was the one thing you absolutely despised about Keigo. His independence was a good aspect to have for a pro-hero, but not when it was detrimental to his own health.
He was always doing things on his own. He was a people pleaser, so of course, he didn't want to ask for help. It was his problem, so he'd handle it himself.
And you wished you could just knock some sense into that bird brain of his.
The last straw was when he came home in the middle of the night, completely disheveled, and collapsed on the couch.
It wasn't uncommon for him to come home late, and you were usually already asleep, but tonight was different. Tonight, you were still awake.
And it was almost 3 am.
You had heard him enter the house. You were about to get up to greet him, but his heavy footsteps had paused at the doorway. The silence continued for a few seconds until you heard him stumble and collapse onto the couch.
You got up immediately and rushed into the living room. Your heart broke at the sight of him.
He was sitting on the floor with his back on the couch. He had taken off his jacket and boots. His wings were limp, and the feathers were ruffled and messy. His head was in his hands, and his hair was an absolute mess.
"Keigo," you whispered, walking up to him.
You had a million questions going through your mind, but you were also worried he was hurt, so you decided to keep it simple.
"Are you okay?"
He didn't move. Not even his wings.
He did speak, however, but you wished he hadn't.
"Perfectly fine."
The words were like poison. His tone was so cold, so dark, so unlike him. You hated it. You had to force yourself not to recoil in disgust.
Just as he said those words, he made himself even worse by letting out a dry, humorless chuckle. It was so unnatural and wrong coming from him.
It scared you. It angered you. You couldn't understand how he could be like this.
You knelt down in front of him, placing your hands over his.
"Keigo," you murmured. "I’m begging you. Please don't do this."
"Do what?" His eyes met yours, completely focused. It was almost unnerving. "What am I doing?"
"You're pushing me away," you stated, trying to keep your voice from cracking. "Again."
His gaze lingered for a few moments before his eyes trailed to the floor. He let out a sigh, sounding almost irritated.
"I told you, I'm fine," he muttered, his expression hardening. "You should get some sleep."
His tone was much harsher than before, and it was beginning to frustrate you.
"I can't do that," you whispered.
"Why not?"
"Because I can't, Keigo," you said, your voice rising. "You make it so… so difficult for me to just sit back and watch you do this. You keep saying that everything is fine, but it isn't. It's not. You know it's not."
He was silent, and you were beginning to think that he was refusing to respond to you.
"You've been coming home at weird hours, and you don't even try to hide the fact that you're exhausted. Your eyes have bags under them, and your wings are a complete mess. You look so pale, Keigo."
"I’m—"
"If you say you're fine one more time," your voice was trembling, and your eyes were starting to burn. "I swear, I will throw myself out of this window."
That made a small smile creep onto his face. It wasn’t genuine, but it was a start.
"As much as I love pancakes, you know I wouldn’t let you go through with that," he said, his tone becoming lighter.
You didn't hesitate.
"Then why are you making me go through with this?"
You didn't miss the small flinch he did. If you’d been in this situation a couple of years ago, you would’ve missed it.
But not anymore. You knew him better than anyone.
"We’re supposed to be partners, remember? You’re a harder book to read, Keigo, and I’m sorry I’m too easy for you, but we should be able to trust each other."
He only looked down and let out a sigh. He was trying so hard to keep his composure, but his emotions were beginning to break through.
You reached forward and gently placed your hand on his cheek, turning his face so he would look at you.
"And if something is bothering you, you should want to tell me. But I can’t help but feel like I'm not good enough to be someone you can confide in because if you did, then maybe you wouldn't look like this right now." You brushed a lock of his golden hair away from his forehead.
He looked so tired. So defeated.
And he was. You could tell by the look in his eyes that he was struggling with himself. It was as if he were weighing his options.
Stay silent or talk to you.
Stay strong or admit his weakness.
You wanted him to choose the latter. You needed him to choose the latter. If he was going to keep pretending everything was fine, your heart couldn’t take it.
A moment of silence passed, and then two, and then three. It was like an eternity had gone by.
Then, finally, the room was filled with his deep, shaky exhale. The environment changed. The air was thicker. You felt the tension and the stress and the sadness.
"I'm not the person you deserve."
It was such a simple phrase, but you were stunned. He sounded so broken, and you didn’t understand why.
"I don't deserve you," he repeated, his voice barely a whisper. “I never did."
You were just speechless. You were expecting his troubles to be something along the lines of work or the Hero Public Safety Commission. It probably still is, but you weren’t expecting him to feel… insecure about himself.
"That’s…" You shook your head. "No, Keigo, that's not true. Why would you think that?"
"Why wouldn't I think that?"
He didn't wait for your response.
"I'm too focused on being a hero," he started, his expression hardening again. "I'm always out. I'm never here. Sure, I kidnap you and make you my hostage every once in a while, but even then, I'm always thinking about work. Always thinking about how I can save more people. I'm always busy, and when I'm not, I'm exhausted."
His hands tightened into fists.
"You deserve someone who can be here with you all the time. Someone who can take the time to actually appreciate you, not just a text here and there, or a quick phone call, or a stupid note. You deserve someone who doesn’t have to leave the house before the sun even rises."
Your eyes were beginning to water, and you tried not to sniffle, but it was becoming more and more difficult to control yourself.
"You deserve a life where you can relax. You deserve someone who you know is always going to be there when you need it. I can't be that for you, and it's frustrating because I really wish I could."
"Oh, Takami," you whispered, pulling him towards you.
His arms wrapped around your waist, and his face was buried in the crook of your neck. He was holding onto you as if he were hanging on for dear life.
"I hate being like this." His voice was muffled, but you could still hear the disgust in his tone.
"Like what?"
"So pathetic," he grumbled. "I hate acting like a kid. Like an immature, needy little… little child."
He had trouble getting the last word out. You couldn't tell whether it was because he was frustrated or ashamed, or both.
"Hey," you whispered, running your fingers through his hair. It seemed to always soothe him. "It’s not immaturity, and it definitely is not childish. It’s just being human."
You could feel him let out a long, deep exhale.
"You are the Number 2 Pro-Hero. You're a very busy man. I knew it then, and I know it now. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to be with you."
You paused, taking a deep breath.
"Yes, sometimes I get lonely, and I miss you, and it sucks. Sometimes, I want to lock you in the house and not let you leave until the end of the world, but that wouldn't be fair to your fangirls.”
That earned a small chuckle from him.
"And it wouldn't be fair to all those innocent people who need you too. I don't like having to share you with the entire city, but that's just the way it is, and it's something I knew I had to get used to."
His arms squeezed around your waist. You felt his warm breath on your neck, which made you shiver slightly.
"And it's not your fault, either. We will have times like these, where you're too busy, and we won't see each other for a while, but at the end of the day, I'm still going to be waiting for you. At the end of the day, we’ll be perfectly fine."
"What a sap," he mumbled, though you could hear the smile in his voice.
"Hey! I'm trying to be romantic!" You playfully smacked his shoulder. "Be grateful."
He chuckled and pulled away from the embrace. You didn't want him to at first, but when you saw his expression, you smiled.
He was grinning. He was finally genuinely happy. There was a twinkle in his eye, and his wings were perked up. His feathers were starting to look much cleaner and fluffier. He was starting to look like his old self.
"I'll make a mental note of that," he replied, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips. "You are the cutest sap ever."
"Shut up." You rolled your eyes and let out a laugh. "Go to bed, bird boy."
"Wait, wait, wait, hold on," he said, holding his hands up. "You're not going to give me a good night kiss?"
You scoffed.
"And you say you’re not childish."
"No, seriously."
Before you could ask him what he meant, he grabbed your waist and pulled you onto his lap. Your arms instinctively went around his neck, and you squealed and caught off guard.
"Hey!" You protested, trying to glare at him, but it was hard to do when he was looking at you with such adoration.
"C'mere," he hummed, resting his forehead against yours. "Let's see how good of a kisser you really are."
"Okay, no, let's not," you said, leaning away from him. "That was awful. That was worse than awful."
"Oh, c'mon!" He chuckled, his eyes full of amusement. "I've been waiting to use that for ages."
"Well, don't," you said, shaking your head. "That just made me want to turn into a pancake even more."
"It’s too bad we don't have syrup," he joked, giving you a quick wink. "Guess I'll have to improvise."
"That's it," you said, trying to push him away, but he only laughed and pulled you closer.
"Stop trying to avoid the inevitable, darling," he murmured, his eyes meeting yours.
"Please don't say anything else," you begged, your face growing warm. "Please. I'm not kidding, Takami."
"Neither am I."
And this… This was what everything was worth.
Keigo looked so content. He was happy. He was relaxed. He wasn't thinking about anything but this moment. He wasn't overthinking things. He wasn't forcing himself to stay positive.
He was just being him, finally. The rest of the night the discussion wasn’t brought up again, and it didn’t need to. You both knew exactly what the other was thinking… feeling. And sure, there’s no doubt there’ll be another time when he will be stressed out again, overworking himself and pushing himself too hard, but you would be there to pull him back down.
You would be there to remind him that everything would be okay and that no matter how hard he tries to fix it all on his own, you would simply remind him that he doesn’t have to do that anymore.
He doesn’t need to keep hiding behind that smile; the only smile he should ever have is the real one.
The one where he truly is perfectly fine.
715 notes · View notes
forzalando · 1 year ago
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Seeing Someone
Lando Norris x friend!reader (female reader)
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summary: Lando is finally ready to tell you how he feels when he overhears you say that you've started seeing someone - but overheard conversations aren't always what they seem. wc: 5.5k author's note: a few disclaimers: 1. let's all pretend that everyone has to spend a few weeks at MTC before the start of the season and they commute to/from London. 2. therapy and mental health help are so important - i purposefully left some things vague because people go to therapy for a variety of reasons and it should be normalized! i also didn't want things to get too heavy or potentially upset anyone by choosing to elaborate on something they relate to/hits a little too close to home. 3. this was inspired by a post i saw on my dash that said "when you said you were seeing someone i was hoping you meant a therapist". this originally started out more light-hearted, but the angst came out and i couldn't stop. feeling a little insecure about this one - thoughts and feelings in the comments/reblogs/my inbox would be so cherished and appreciated :) once again, special shoutout to @sof1shticated for being my beta reader. couldn't do this without you, Mel! warnings: mentions of reader going to therapy, mentions of reader drinking, a few curse words (i think), and angst! but there is a happy ending (even if it's a little open-ended)
Lando had searched the entirety of McLaren HQ at this point and started to worry – you were quite literally nowhere to be found. Usually, this wouldn’t phase him, since you were notorious for getting distracted or caught up in conversation with everyone you came across. You especially found ways to delay leaving MTC when you had to be there physically – the commute from HQ back to London each day was objectively the worst part of everyone coming together in the weeks leading up to each new season.
Today, however, the two of you had plans to get dinner at your favorite restaurant in London and you would never miss a chance to devour your favorite scallop risotto, cheese garlic bread, several glasses of wine, and a heaping mound of tiramisu for dessert.
He stopped speed-walking abruptly when he saw a familiar head of brown hair out of the corner of his eye.
“OSCAR,” Lando shouted, his speed-walk turning into a run. “Oscar, have you seen Y/N? She told me to meet at her office at 5:00pm but it’s 5:30pm and she is literally missing. She better have a good excuse, I hate being late.”
“Missing? Are you sure she’s not just caught up in a meeting? I saw her heading to Zak’s office around 4:45pm, did you check there?”
“Zak’s office, of course! The one place I didn’t check. Thanks, Osc, you’re the man.”
Oscar rolled his eyes – “Anytime, Lan. What are you running late for? Hot date?”
Lando didn’t miss the wiggle of Oscar’s eyebrows and slight smirk. It wasn’t a secret to the Australian that Lando had a crush on Y/N – although Lando had never confirmed or denied it, it was pretty obvious to anyone who spent more than 30 seconds around them.
“Ah, something like that,” Lando said nonchalantly, a bashful blush making its way to his cheeks.
“Good luck, mate!” Oscar threw a wave over his shoulder as he heard the retreating sound of Lando’s trainers smacking against the floor.
In truth, although you and Lando were just friends and Lando was terrified he may ruin that, he had plans to tell you about his feelings for you that night at dinner. It had been almost a year since you started working for McLaren, and almost a year of Lando pining after you in secret. He spent most days trying to convince himself he was content just being your friend, but he was determined to make 2024 his year. His first win, hopefully of many, maybe even WDC contender material, and finally plucking up the courage to be honest with you.
As Lando hurriedly approached Zak’s office, he could see that the door was slightly ajar and heard your voice trailing through the opening.
“I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, Zak. And a massive thank you for approving the time off on such late notice.”
“Anytime, Y/N, you know you’re like family to me and everyone here. You sure you’re ok?”
“Yes, I’m seeing someone. It’s still new so I’m not set on him yet but I have a really good feeling about it, I’m really starting to wish I had called him sooner. He actually suggested the days off, I’m seeing him on Tuesday and hopefully things continue to go well.”
Lando’s heart dropped to his stomach – all week he had been thinking about tonight. How to tell you, how you might react, how nervous he was, and each day he grew even more anxious. He was panicking – what was he supposed to do? How could he sit across from you all night knowing that he’d missed his chance?
“That’s so good to hear,” Zak said earnestly. “Keep me updated and enjoy your days off.”
Lando could hear chairs scraping and scrambled to leave the scene before you walked out of Zak’s office to find him eavesdropping. He got about 50 feet down the hallway before he heard your voice from behind.
“Lan,” you shouted. “I’m so sorry, I’m totally late but I had to meet with Zak about something and his last meeting went way over.”
You jogged a little to catch up to him – a bright smile on your face that made his heart rate skyrocket and his palms grow sweaty. He couldn’t see you feeling like this. Not tonight, not when he could barely keep himself from telling you that he would be a much better boyfriend than whoever you were dating.
“We still on for dinner? I grabbed everything I needed from my office before I met with Zak so if we leave right this second and ignore the speed limit, they may seat us,” you bumped his shoulder as you joked.
Unable to help himself, only thinking about how hurt he was even though you’d done nothing wrong, Lando blurted out an excuse. “Actually, I was trying to find you to tell you I can’t make it.”
He tried not to react when he saw your face fall a little, but he told himself it was because you were disappointed about the last-minute change in plans and not that he wasn’t going.
“You should still go though,” he offered quickly. “I’m sure you have someone you could take with you!”
Your eyes spotted Oscar across the hallway and you smiled slightly – it had been a while since you had spent time with him and you knew he was having a rough week.
“Yeah, I have someone in mind,” you mused, focusing your eyes back on Lando. “Is everything ok? Are you not feeling well?”
“No, I’m fine, I just forgot I have plans.”
“Well, we had plans. You scheduled over me?”
“It’s a last-minute thing. Date thing. Last-minute date thing.”
“Oh,” you gasped. “Oh, that’s great!” You plastered a fake smile on your face – hoping that he was just as oblivious now as he apparently is to your feelings. “I hope you have a great time, she’s a lucky girl! I’ll see you on Wednesday, I’m taking a couple days off!”
Before he had a chance to say anything else, you sped off in search of Oscar to bribe him to accompany you to dinner. While you set off across the room, Lando smacked himself in the forehead and groaned.
“Why did you tell her it was a date, you idiot,” he mumbled to himself. Now, it was his turn to speed walk through McLaren HQ, but if he had turned around just for a moment, he would have caught you stopped in your tracks staring at him longingly as he walked away.
You shook your head and sighed, continuing your quest to find the younger McLaren driver and rope him into an evening filled with good food and, if you were being honest with yourself, probably a few tears.
A few moments later, you spotted floppy brown hair bouncing as Oscar walked toward the employee parking lot.
“Oscar!” You yelled after him, increasing your pace to catch up to him.
“Hey,” he said, confusion evident on his face, “I thought you were going out with Lando?”
“He’s got a date,” you blurted. “He has a date and he canceled on me and it’s fine. I am fine. But I want my scallop risotto and tiramisu so you’re coming with me.”
“Sure, Y/N, lead the way.”
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Oscar was, to put it extremely lightly, confused. Lando was completely enamored by you – anyone with eyes could see it. Oscar was wholly convinced that Lando was going to officially ask you out at dinner tonight, especially after the brief conversation they had while you were late to meet up with him.
Yet, here he was, sat across from you in a dimly lit room as you sipped on your third glass of wine and, with all the subtlety of a neon sign, wiped a tear from your lower lash line.
“It’s not that I’m not happy for him, I’m so happy for him. But canceling last minute is a dick move, right? It’s a dick move. I know I’m just his friend, sometimes I feel like just a colleague, but I’m not being dramatic, right?”
Oscar stared at you blankly – his eyes wide and a look of pure fear on his face. He considered himself good at most things, great at quite a few, but comforting a crying woman was bottom of the list of Oscar Piastri’s skills.
“It’s totally a dick move,” he nodded his head eagerly in agreement. “I just don’t get it – when I saw him earlier he was frantic trying to find you. I think he’d scoured the entirety of MTC, he was out of breath when I found him.”
“Well, at least he had the decency to find me and tell me in person that he planned on ditching me.”
“Yeah, but that’s just it, it didn’t seem like he was trying to find you to tell you that. He complained about being late and when I asked him if he had a hot date, he blushed.”
“He is literally on a hot date.”
“Ok, well, when I asked him I meant did he have a hot date specifically with you.”
You scoffed and set your glass down – as much as you loved Oscar and you knew he’d never judge you, if you had any more wine you’d end up sobbing and not just wiping stray tears away.
“As if! Lando has never once made a move on me even though I flirt, or at least try to flirt, with him any chance I get.”
“You flirt with Lando?”
“I made him a personalized Spotify playlist, had Stroopwafels overnighted to him from The Netherlands after Vegas, bought him a sweater for his birthday with a card that said ‘to match your eyes’, and I compliment him every time I see him.”
“That’s your idea of flirting?”
“Well, yes.”
“Y/N, that’s just being nice to people. You’re nice to everyone. Lando is not going to understand that you’re a little extra nice to him and that means you’re trying to woo him.”
You huffed and slumped in your seat, crossing your arms over your chest. “Ok, well, how would you flirt with Lando?”
“Did you seriously just ask me that question?”
“Yes because apparently you know all about flirting! And by the way, Logan thought I was coming onto him when I was just being nice so some people would consider my actions flirtatious.”
“That doesn’t count, Logan thinks Uber drivers are flirting with him when they say ‘have a nice day’.”
You and Oscar shared a laugh at the mention of your mutual friend – somehow an even more hopeless case than you in the world of romance.
Your laughs turned to giggles and eventually died down completely. A sigh climbed its way out of your throat, the sudden change in your mood evident to Oscar.
“It doesn’t matter anyway – he’s seeing someone so no more trying, and according to you failing, to flirt.”
“You don’t know how serious it is, maybe this was a first date and it’ll go horribly. He definitely doesn’t have a girlfriend if that’s what you’re worried about, he was just saying the other day that Lily and I make him feel painfully single. We can ask him about it on Monday!”
You frowned a bit and tried to recover, but Oscar noticed the way your face fell slightly. “I’m actually taking a few days off, I need some personal time. I won’t be back at MTC until Wednesday.”
“Is everything ok? You don’t have to tell me but if you need anything, you know I’m there for you, right?”
You smiled at Oscar – it was a rare thing to find such great friends in the people you worked with, but you got so incredibly lucky with the McLaren team, especially Lando and Oscar. “I know that, Osc. You’re a gem.”
With a nod of understanding, Oscar changed the subject to something more pleasant, and you enjoyed the rest of your evening with your friend.
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When Wednesday morning rolled around, you felt like your stomach might explode from nerves. You had resisted texting Lando over the past few days to ask about his date, you didn’t want to seem too eager and hoped it would come up naturally in conversation during the day. You hadn’t talked to Oscar much, though he’d texted you a few times to check in, but you wondered if he had talked to Lando at all and if he had details on how well Lando’s date went.
You arrived at MTC fairly early, hoping to get a head start on your day. Winter break was nearly over, and you were swamped with finalizing everything for the start of the 2024 season. It wasn’t until lunch that you saw Lando at all and he just so happened to be waiting in your office, sitting comfortably in your chair, while you were walking back from your latest meeting.
“Lando! What are you doing here?”
“I, uh,” he scrambled. “I was just…I don’t know really. I guess I wanted to see you, we haven’t talked in a few days since you’ve been out.”
“Well, we’ve both been busy. You could’ve texted me. How was your date?”
“It was good. Great. How about yours?”
You smiled remembering your evening with Oscar, assuming he had told Lando at some point that he had accompanied you. “Honestly so fun, we had the best time. I hope we get to do it again soon.”
Lando cringed – jealousy rearing its ugly head as he looked down at his feet before answering. “Same, I’ll probably go out with her again this weekend.”
“Good for you,” you gritted. “I’m glad you had fun. I actually have a million things to do so if there’s nothing important…”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry. Just wanted to see you. I guess we’ll catch up soon? Hope you enjoyed your days off.”
Mustering up a fake smile, you told him definitely, awkwardly standing as he rose from your desk and left your office. As soon as he was far enough away that he couldn’t hear you, you groaned. The tension between you and Lando was unbearable, though you didn’t understand why it seemed to mostly be coming from him. Before you had a chance to think any further, you could hear your phone buzzing from inside your bag and begrudgingly pulled it out to see a text from Oscar.
did you go on a date over the weekend?
no? why are you asking me that?
well then why did lando just sit across from me and say ‘did Y/N tell you anything about her date?’
he was just in my office, I asked him how his date went and he asked about ‘mine’. i assumed he was talking about Friday and that you told him i brought you?
i never told him, i guess he thought you brought a real date?
You paused before responding to Oscar, confusion evident on your face and in your lack of response. Before you could type out a reply, two more texts came in.
ok something is up because i just told him that i went with you on friday and he said “i know, i saw you in her insta story in the reflection of a wine glass, i’m talking about yesterday”
insane that he looked close enough to see me in your wine glass but not the point
i literally haven’t been on a date in two years
let me figure this out
You slid your phone back into your bag and pulled out your laptop – your Lando problems would have to wait until you were at least somewhat caught up after missing two days so close to the start of the season.
Meanwhile, at a conference room table in MTC, Oscar was confused. Which, as of late, was a common occurrence when it came to you and Lando.
“Mate,” Oscar addressed Lando, “if you’re not talking about Friday, what date did you ask Y/N about? She hasn’t been on a date in forever.”
“Well then he must have canceled on her because she was supposed to have plans yesterday, it’s why she took days off.”
“I don’t know the exact reason why she took days off but she told me on Friday that she was and didn’t seem too happy about it. Said it was personal reasons.”
“Going on a date is personal.”
“Not ‘take two days off of work’ personal! Where are you even getting this information?”
Lando looked away sheepishly, afraid to admit to Oscar that he had eavesdropped on a private conversation between you and Zak. With Oscar looking at him expectantly, and a bit like a pissed-off Mum, he blurted it out.
“I heard her talking to Zak! Last week on Friday, when I was looking for her, she was in his office and the door was cracked. She had asked him for a couple days off and talked about how she recently started seeing someone and was seeing him again on Tuesday aka yesterday.”
Now Oscar was really confused. You had cried over Lando publicly on Friday, and he knew you fairly well, which meant there was no way you would be crying over Lando and going out with someone else four days later.
“I think you need to just talk to her because I promise you, she is not seeing someone. Also, what do you care? You ditched her for a date on Friday.”
Oscar had a sinking feeling in his stomach as he watched Lando’s face fall.
“Lando, tell me you didn’t.”
“I might have.”
“Jesus, Lando, you heard 30 seconds of a conversation and decided to lie to her? Because what, your ego took a blow? Some caveman instinct?”
“No, I don’t know, honestly. It just slipped out! I had planned to ask her out for real and when I heard her say ‘I’m seeing someone’, I just didn’t know how to be around her. I couldn’t be around her that night.”
“You need to go talk to her. Apologize. Preferably, immediately.”
Lando jumped up from his seat and sighed. “You’re right. She might kill me, and she has every right to, but I have to talk to her and apologize to her. Wish me luck!”
Before Oscar could do what Lando had asked, Lando raced off towards your office, barely stopping himself from tripping over his own two feet.
Across MTC, you had just settled your mind and gotten into a groove of catching up on emails and making progress on deadlines. As soon as you thought to yourself that the day was going better than expected, your office door flung open and Lando Norris was standing stiff in your doorway.
“Lan, I told you that I’m busy. What is going on?” Annoyance was evident in your voice and Lando cringed knowing that this conversation was probably not going to be very pleasant.
“Why did you take time off?”
Your body straightened in shock, of all the things he could have asked you after bombarding you in your office, you wouldn’t have guessed he would pry into your personal life.
“That’s none of your business, Lando. If you were worried about me, you could have reached out, but I haven’t heard from you since you ditched me on Friday.”
Lando could see the hurt on your face, he could see it evident in your body language. He thought back to how you had looked upset immediately when he told you on Friday that he couldn’t go with you – when he told himself it had nothing to do with you wanting to spend time with him.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m sorry for that, it wasn’t – I mean I didn’t, I didn’t want to not go. I just didn’t know what to do.”
“Ok, I’m totally lost. You didn’t know what to do about what, Lando?”
He steeled himself for your reaction – something he had learned by being your friend for the past year was that you held trust and truth in high regard. You didn’t like being lied to, and you didn’t like people trying to dig into your life or get information you weren’t willing to share.
“I heard you in Zak’s office. I wasn’t eavesdropping on purpose, I swear, I was looking for you because you were late meeting me. Oscar told me you might be with Zak so I went there and the door was open. And I heard you. So I lied and told you that I couldn’t go to dinner, I don’t know why I said I had a date. All I could focus on was how hurt I was, I just couldn’t be around you and then I felt so stupid and terrible for lying so that’s why I didn’t text you at all.”
You were completely and utterly perplexed – you couldn’t even react with anger at the thought of Lando listening to a private conversation and outright lying to you. What could he have overheard that he was so upset about?
“Lando, I’m still confused. What did you hear? How did I hurt you?”
“No, no, you didn’t hurt me. You have no idea how I feel about you – I was going to tell you that night.” Lando was word-vomiting at this point, he never wanted you to find out this way but he couldn’t stop rambling. “I have had feelings for you for so long, and I finally decided that I was going to tell you even if I was convinced you don’t feel the same. And now I know you don’t because you’re seeing someone and – ”
You interrupted him sternly, allowing the anger you were feeling to come forth and shoving down your confusion. “I’m not dating anyone? Is that why you asked Oscar about my ‘date’? Where did you get that idea?”
“You told Zak that you’re seeing someone and that it’s new but things are going good. I heard you say you were seeing him again on Tuesday.”
Your eyes doubled in size – if you weren’t so pissed off, you might have found humor in this, but you felt heat rising to your cheeks and your stomach churned at the thought of divulging your personal struggles.
“Lando, I’m seeing a therapist,” you hissed.
He froze for a moment, then scrambled to shut your door which was still ajar from him barging in.
“A therapist? Are you okay? What’s going on, why didn’t you tell me that you’ve been struggling?”
“No, no, you don’t get to do this right now. You don’t get to make me less angry by being kind and caring.”
“I’m not doing it to make you less angry, Y/N, I genuinely – ”
“I don’t care, Lando! You eavesdropped on my private conversation, misunderstood the context of that conversation, and then you lied to me. You hurt me. And now, because you got your feelings hurt and did things you shouldn’t have done, I have to share something I wasn’t comfortable sharing with you just yet.”
Lando was speechless – you could see the remorse on his face, the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, but in that moment you wanted him to feel even worse than you were.
“And you want to know the worst part,” you cried. “I feel the same way about you. I cried to Oscar at dinner because I thought you were with someone else, that you would have rather been at dinner with a different girl.”
“Y/N, I’m so sorry. Can we please just go somewhere and talk? Really talk this out? I know I messed up, but this doesn’t have to change things or how we feel about each other.”
You wanted to, god, did you want to – you knew Lando hadn’t done any of this on purpose. You knew he didn’t have malicious intent and you knew how hurt he probably felt at the idea of you being with someone – it was exactly the way you felt when you thought the same about him.
“I think you should go, Lan”. Despite every part of you wanting to sit and talk, you knew that you needed some time to settle down.
“Ok,” he whispered. “When you’re ready,” he paused, swallowing the lump in his throat, “if you’re ever ready, you know where to find me.”
His posture made you feel sick as he left your office – Lando was always confident, shoulders back and head held high, but as you watched him through the glass walls surrounding you, he was hunched over. Dejected. You’d only ever seen him that way a few times – after he was torn apart by the media or after making a mistake during a race.
It hurt you to see him that way. But, he had also hurt you, and you needed time.
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It had been two weeks since “the incident” with Lando – that’s what Oscar started calling it and it stuck. Fight felt too strong, disagreement felt too weak, so it became something nameless. Undefined. Indeterminate. Exactly like what existed now between you and Lando.
Oscar and Lando were set to leave for Sakhir in a week and you wouldn’t see them again until you joined the team for the Australian GP. If you didn’t work things out with Lando before they left for testing, it would be well over a month without a resolution.
The thought made your eyes burn with tears – you were still upset but more than that you missed Lando. You didn’t even have to wonder if he felt the same because you’d seen him around MTC. He looked just as awful as you, if not worse, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to start a conversation.
You began packing up your things to leave the office, grateful beyond belief that it was a Friday and you’d have two days without seeing Lando’s familiar curls everywhere you turned. At least at home, you would only see them behind closed eyes and wouldn’t have to blink back tears.
A knock at your door startled you, but you assumed it was your team lead looking for your latest analytics report. At least there was one thing you could be happy about – the car data was phenomenal and all signs were pointing to an amazing season for McLaren.
You told whoever was knocking to come in, not looking up from your bag as you rifled through your files. “So sorry, Tom, I meant to bring this to you earlier but I – ”
A throat clearing cut you off, and you looked up to see Lando standing in your doorway with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and one of those cheesy “I’m sorry” balloons in his left hand. You almost giggled, but then you looked at his face and your heart dropped. Dark circles under red-rimmed eyes - he looked awful. 
“I know you said you’d reach out when you’re ready to talk, and I wanted to respect that and give you all the space you need. But, we’re both miserable. At least I think you’re miserable, I know I am. I miss you terribly. I miss my friend. And if that’s all you’ll ever be to me, I can respect that and I will cherish it because the past week has been the worst week of my life.”
“Lando, I – ”
“Please, please let me get all of this out. Please let me apologize.”
You smiled slightly, nodding your head for him to continue.
“I’m sorry for invading your privacy. It wasn’t on purpose but I should have left as soon as I heard you talking because I know how important trust is to you. I violated yours and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for lying to you. It doesn’t matter if I was hurt, I could’ve just said I wasn’t feeling well or asked you about what I overheard immediately. After apologizing for overhearing, of course. I’m sorry that it took Oscar talking sense into me for me to come to you in the first place. I’m sorry that I hurt you and I’m sorry that I behaved like a child instead of talking to you about my feelings. My actions made you feel forced to tell me something personal that you weren’t ready to share. I’m so sorry, and I hope you know that I’m here for you always.”
He let out a deep breath and you watched his shoulders relax slightly for the first time in two weeks. You knew he was sorry – you’d known how sorry he was immediately when he started explaining and apologizing the first time around, but you just weren’t ready to hear it yet.
“Thank you, Lan,” you whispered as you walked towards him and took his free hand in your own. “I know you’re sorry and I know that this was all a misunderstanding that just got out of hand.”
“I am also sorry for springing my feelings on you. I wanted to tell you properly, ask you out properly, but I couldn’t explain myself without telling you. I ruined everything, it was woefully unromantic.”
“Yeah, that was a bit shit, I didn’t get my big grand gesture or anything.”
Lando’s eyes grew wide, a hopeful gleam in them. “I mean, would you – is that something you would still want? I don’t want to pressure you and I don’t want to assume that you still feel the same.”
“I do,” you said softly. “But, I think we should work on really moving past this before we officially jump into anything more.”
“I completely agree. However, I do have a reservation for two in about forty minutes to make up for ditching you, if you’d like to join me? Otherwise, I’ll have to bring Oscar. He won’t stop talking about the cheese garlic bread.”
“No, Lando, you don’t understand. He ordered three baskets. I went home and typed an apology email to Zak for ruining his diet.”
You both erupted in giggles, leaning into each other for support and out of habit. It felt so good to laugh, the weight and stress of the past two weeks rolling off in waves as Lando’s shoulder bumped yours and you heard the unmistakable laughter that you’d come to love so much.
“Maybe we should bring him anyway,” you pondered. “He’s been an exceptionally good friend to us both the past couple of weeks.”
“He can come next time, I’d like you to myself for the evening. If that’s ok?”
“More than ok, Lan. I’ve really missed you.”
He leaned in quickly, kissing your cheek gently and then nuzzling his nose against your neck, inhaling the scent of the perfume he’d gifted you for your last birthday. “Not as much as I’ve missed you,” he objected, his eyes glimmering slightly. Wet eyelashes fluttered against your neck as he stayed tucked into your side for a few more moments.
“We’re going to be late,” you whispered, with a sincere lack of urgency.
“Can we go back to my hotel room instead? Watch a movie and order in? Jus’ wanna hold you.”
Your heart constricted – as much as you wanted to tease him and say he owed you a night out and your favorite meal, you wanted nothing more than to spend the night in Lando’s arms.
“Of course, Lan. I think I need that too.”
On the way to Lando’s car, you passed Oscar who gave you both a knowing smile and a short wave. If you asked him if he had been waiting for you guys to leave, he would deny it. He would deny being so invested in your reconciliation that he waited close to an hour after he could leave for the day to make sure you were both ok. He would also deny that he tracked both of you and when it dawned on him that you were skipping your dinner, he sped to that little Italian place and stole your reservation for an order (or two) of cheese garlic bread.
He couldn’t resist sending a poorly taken picture to the group chat with the three of you and you burst out laughing when you opened it.
“Lan, Oscar somehow stole our dinner res,” you giggled, turning your phone to show Lando an unmistakable basket of bread and a follow-up text with several heart emojis.
Lando held his phone up to snap a quick selfie of you two cuddled up in bed, him leaning in for the second time that evening to place a gentle kiss on your cheek. Almost immediately after it delivered, your phones lit up with another text from Oscar.
HOT DATE FR THIS TIME?
You and Lando looked at each other and smiled, the mutual understanding of where you stood with your feelings evident.
not quite yet, but soon :)
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dwaekkicidal · 7 months ago
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Hey! Idk if anyone has asked this before, but can you write skz with big chested!fem reader? I absolutely love your work!!
ok so i have a request in the works including big tiddy gf with Han so you can read that for a fic blatantly including it lol (it should be out in a few days) but for now I'll write you little drabble about them :3 this is super self indulgent so thank you 😼& i'm happy you enjoy my stuff :') <3
OT8 x Big Chested fem!Reader
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˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: ~700
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ warnings: fem!reader with big boobies: no other body type is described, suggestive but also like 1 mention of nsfw
DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!
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Certified Titty Sucker(s)™
the ones you can shut up by literally flashing him. but its only gonna make him drop to his knees in front of you so he can beg you to let him touch ("Let me at 'em" -Han)
the picture i had in mind was one of them (hyunjin specifically lol) just like laying on top of you with a nipple in his mouth and his other hand grabbing as much of the other boob as he can. maybe he's just come home after a long day and needs the comfort of his titties in his mouth. or maybe he's still inside of you, cockwarming after you both came, and he's calming himself down by mindlessly sucking one of your nipples
Hyunjin & Han (honorable mentions: Chris and Lix)
Biggest Babies
probably the kind to casually lay on them like theyre pillows the most out of all the boys. i could see him coming home from having a bad day and asking you to cuddle with him, so he lays you flat on your back and rests his cheek against your boobs as he looks up at you and rants about his day.
The ones who will literally pout and get teary-eyed if you ban them from your boobs for any amount of time. Maybe they marked you up when you told them not to or they just did something to make you mad so you put them in "Boob Time Out." The one's the most hurt about it and will cry and beg and grovel for you to take it back.
Hyunjin, Seungmin, Han, Changbin
Handsy Ones
would be the type to casually grope you randomly throughout the day. i specifically picture these guys as being the type of boyfriend who will sit on the bed while you get changed nearby, and the second your shirt and/or bra is off he just drags you close to him and shoves his face between your boobs. not like sexually per se but its so warm and he finds so much comfort in squishing his face between them. makes you literally fight to get him off you could try to put the new shirt on over his head to make him get off and he probably wouldnt budge 😭 he just sits there even more comfortable because now he's covered like a blanket LMFAO
Seungmin, Felix, Jeongin (honorable mention: Minho)
"No Shame"
the type who, if he's angry or jealous enough, will grope you in broad daylight. he wont do it for everybody's eyes but will specifically make sure the person that offended him can see it but nobody else can.
also very blatantly gropes you in front of the other members. for some (cough Jeongin cough) its an ego thing, but for the others its just the confidence that they feel because they know they're allowed and they just do not care that the others are 2 feet away
Han & Jeongin, Minho
Casual Enjoyers
these guys love your boobs to death (maybe not as much as Han) but they love them rather quietly. they dont outright tell you how much they love them and, if you aren't paying close enough attention, their love for them will go unnoticed
the ones who consciously care the most about your boobs' health. im not saying the others dont, but these guys will show their love for them by caring about their health specifically. they make sure you get the highest quality bras and does research for + buys you any oils that will give him an excuse are good for massages so on particularly achy days, you don't have to worry much about it.
also very easy to notice how much they love them when they drool and stare holes into them when you wear revealing clothes
Chris, Minho, Lix
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livelaughloveluffy · 3 months ago
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comfort - roronoa zoro
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a/n: i for sure need these headcannons so bad at the moment😭😭 luckily, i should be starting some antidepressants soon!! i'm a bit nervous about it but it's definitely worth the shot, since i have tried literally everything else 😭 anywho, only the fluffiest fluff for now 😭😭😭😭 its all my heart can take
nothing but fluff here 💗
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when he comforts you:
-the green haired swordsman was the type of man to notice something was up before you ever had the chance to say anything about it. while he may not seem like it, he always has his eye on you.. he notices the slightest shifts in your mood, body language, the way you speak, the glimmer in your eyes, he'd never come out and say that.. but he shows up in smaller ways
-he'll spend a lot more time with you. invite you to watch him work out or drink with him under the stars, just making himself more present in your life, he'll never let you really be alone, unless you asked him for that.
-you may have to initiate it.. but the second you looked at zoro with teary eyes asking "can you just hold me for a second?" he'll grab you and pull you into his arms so fast... and he's not letting go anytime soon. his tight muscles enveloping your body, the rhythmic sound of his heart beating against your cheek is a sense of calm you can't experience with anyone other than him... it isn't until you lightly slap his arm with gentle giggles saying "okay.. zo, i can't breathe when you're holding me this tight.." that he loosens his grip on you (the absolute tiniest bit)
-the swordsman isn't the chattiest when it comes to talking through problems, but if you want advice, his straightforward and blunt outlook is surprisingly more helpful than you anticipate at times. zoro doesn't beat around the bush when it comes to his advice, so he'll only tell you if you really want to/are ready to hear it.
-you'll catch him staring at you more often than usual. this man always keeps an eye on you. it's his silent check in.. his casual way of asking "you doing okay?"
-when you're sick, injured, or on your period: while he is mr tough guy ™️, he does not play around with you and your health. he'll grumble and pout when you aren't resting. his typical methods of forcing you to rest (but also still make you feel useful) is to have you lay on his back while he does push ups or dragging you to take naps with him. he doesn't outwardly express his worry but you'll find yourself waking up from naps with his watchful gaze on your face, his brows slightly furrowed, his gruff voice asking "did ya sleep okay? were you comfortable?" and he'll only relax when you reply with your typical soft sleepy smile, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek, whispering "yeah.. im okay... since you're here with me."
when he needs comforting:
-again, zoro isn't the chattiest guy in the world..so you can tell he needs you when he wordlessly pulls you close to him, burying your face into his chiseled chest, his rapid heartbeat sounding off in your ear, one hand tangled into your hair holding you head close to his heart, the other tightly gripped around your waist. the rugged soft murmur in your ear asking "can we stay like this for a bit?"
-one of his favorite ways to unwind is up in the crows nest with a bottle (or ten) of sake, with you by his side. resting your head on his shoulder as you both stargaze with the ambience of the crashing waves beneath you
-the swordsman also loves to throw himself deeper into his training as a distraction.. so he's absolutely thrilled when you one day approach him asking for help improving your fighting techniques and combat maneuvering.. be prepared to work hard though.. he'll train you until the sun goes down, eventually all his worries washing away when he sees the smile of satisfaction on your tired face after finally perfecting what he taught you.
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a/n: getting to write this with the soft patters of rain outside my window healed a part of my soul 😭😭 this is truly the quickest and easiest time i've had writing for zoro so hopefully that streak continues 😭😭😭
a/n: enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!
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storiesfromafan · 1 month ago
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Christmas Wish - Mattheo x Hufflepuff!Reader
A/N: Merry Christmas all! Finally finished my Mattheo Christmas one-shot 😊
It's a little all over the place, but not too bad haha.
Warning/s: fluff, all over the place, a little rushed, possible grammer/spelling mistakes
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In your family there’s a silly little tradition. One were the night before Christmas – Christmas Eve – you light a candle and make a wish. It’s something you have done since you could remember, it’s a core memory for you. How your parents explained the tradition, saying you could wish for anything. Then your father would pull your mother into a bear hug saying how he’d wished for her, and his wish was granted.
You never understood the appeal or want to wish for someone, or wanting a relationship like that at such a young age. You wished for toys or food, as you got older it was good health for those that meant the most for you or a good year to come. Your selfish wishes became more thoughtful and caring.
But that changed after your first year at Hogwarts, after meeting Mattheo Riddle. He captivated you, along with almost every female student, with his boyish good looks and cool presence. But for a brief moment you saw another side to him, a kinder side, after he saved you from falling down a flight of stairs. From there the Slytherin Prince took pity on the lowly Hufflepuff, an unlikely friendship was formed.
Sure, it wasn’t easy at first. The whispers and looks were unsettling, but Mattheo confronted or fought anyone who spoke ill of you. Mattheo accepted you for you, a friendly, kind but clumsy Hufflepuff. And you accepted him for him, a quiet, somewhat brooding but secretly sweet Slytherin. That’s why on Christmas Eve on your second year at school, your wish was for Mattheo to see you, to pick you. You loved being his friend, but you were madly and stupidly in love with your friend.
This was the first year you hadn’t gone home for Christmas, your parents having to travel to see your sick grandmother, on your father’s side. They had been in such a panic that you thought it best to save them the worry of you and getting back to school. And once Mattheo heard you were staying, he did too. He said that his family didn’t really do anything for Christmas, it was just another day.
So Christmas Eve, on year five at Hogwarts, after your other roommate out of three was deep asleep. You sat on your bed, taking out the candle and matches from your bedside table. With a little struggle, you finally lit the candle. Sitting there in the silent night, the candle the only light besides that from the rooms window. You looked at the flame, mind focused on your wish. When the wax began to melt, slowly dropping down the side, you blew out the flame.
I wish for Mattheo Riddle to see me, and want me. And no one else...
Walking into The Great Hall, you looked around at the small number of students, many sitting at different house tables enjoying the Christmas morning with other students. Finally you spotted Mattheo, he was sitting at the Slytherin table with both Lorenzo and Theodore. Both had also chosen to stay then rather deal with their families and their politics. You knew roughly about all three's home lives, but never asked too many questions. Out of fear that Theodore would hex you, yet you know Mattheo, and possibly, Lorenzo would not resort to such an extreme.
You crossed the room, a soft smile on your lips, as you made your way to them. Mattheo saw you out of the corner of his eye, and the way he smiled brightly at you as you approached made your heart skip a beat. Those chocolate brown orbs fixed on you, and paired with his gorgeous features and unruly mop of hair, he was perfect.
“Happy Christmas!” Mattheo beamed as you stood next to him.
“Happy Christmas!” You returned, eyes moving from him and to his friends and repeated your words.
“Happy Christmas” both boys responded with. Lorenzo was warm and welcoming, while Theodore was off handed and uncaring.
“Sit" Mattheo said patting the seat on the bench next to him.
You didn’t need to be told twice, holding your skirt as you lifted your leg over the bench and then the other, before sitting down. The three Slytherin's fell into a heated debate while you dished up your breakfast, adding in a word here or there until you started to eat. That breakfast felt like a dream. Sitting next to Mattheo, so close you could smell his aftershave, and arms brushing together from time to time. And the conversations you had with Theodore, who wasn’t a complete jerk to you. A Hufflepuff sharing a meal with three Slytherin's, who would have thought? Maybe there was some Christmas magic at work, allowing you all to have a pleasant start to the day.
“So, what did you get from your parents?” Mattheo asked while the other two Slytherin's bickered across from you.
You put down the cup you’d just drank from, briefly looking to Lorenzo and Theodore. And deciding if Mattheo didn’t have an issue with their heated words, you could let it go. “Just the usual, ugly sweater" – you gestured to what you were wearing – “some sweets and a book. How about you...?”
You wanted to kick yourself. But it was just natural to ask what someone got. You watched how the warmth in Mattheo flickered for a second, but he put on a forced smile. Just making you feel worse. You should know by now that he never to rarely got a present.
“That’s nice" Mattheo began, moving uncomfortably in his seat. “Ah, I got nothing...like usual...”
“I-I’m sorry!” You said in a rush, regret written on your face.
Mattheo's face softened, his smile becoming less forced. He knew you meant no harm, it was just a reflex. “It’s all good (Y/N/N). No damage done". He bumped shoulders with you.
You sighed, relieved to hear that and see him going back to how he was. You finished breakfast in a comfortable silence, except for the other two Slytherin's keeping the conversation going. Not even seeming to notice the change and change back.
After finishing, you all headed out of The Great Hall and outside to one of the courtyards. The boys wanted to see the snow, and play in it. You foresee many snowballs coming your way, mostly from Theodore no doubt. It was chilly outside but your ugly sweater would do for now. For the moment it wasn’t snowing, but you couldn’t rule out any more falling.
It didn’t take the three long to start throwing snowballs, as you thought. You took refuge in a little seating area, where it would be harder for Theodore to get you. You sat and watched the three from the cut out in the wall, laughing when both Mattheo and Lorenzo pelted Theodore with snowballs. He did get his revenge though, stuffing snow down Mattheo's top before chasing after Lorenzo. That was Mattheo’s cue to escape and beg for sanctuary and protection, not that you could protect him, as you couldn’t protect yourself.
He flopped down next to you on the bench, a small chuckle leaving him as he continued to shake his top. The snow had all fallen out, but Mattheo wasn’t entirely convinced it had. You shoved him a little, which he shot you an offended look for. But you just laughed. Which triggered him to laugh. Slowly the laughter died down, leaving a comfortable silence between you both.
Feeling like it was now or never, you pulled a beautifully wrapped gift from your bag, it wasn’t much but it was the thought that counts. Bashfully you turned to Mattheo, gift out stretched to him. An unsure smile on your face as you waited for him to notice. When he did, Mattheo sat there blinking. Looking from the gift to you with a puzzled look.
“I-I know you don’t really do Christmas...but I noticed you needed a new one...” you stated with a shaky voice.
Mattheo took your gift slowly, a tad cautiously. He was surprised to receive a gift, and it be from you. He didn’t really get gifts from his friends, more stuff he needed like smokes and alcohol. So to get an actual wrapped gift, and from you was a surprise.  Mattheo noted there wasn’t any weight to the gift, so not a book. He shook it slightly, and it made no noise. What lay behind all the wrapping paper then?
You laughed nervously, watching Mattheo closely. “Y-you can open it, it won’t bite".
The way he looked at you, like it would bite him. Reluctantly Mattheo pulled it to his lap and began to open the present. He was gentle and continued to proceed with caution, which made you want to laugh.
Finally it was open, and he felt silly being worried the gift would bite him. Laying in his lap was a brand new Slytherin scarf, neatly folded like that was its natural form. Mattheo didn’t want to pick it up, but he did, holding it up and the scarf unfolding to show its length in his grasp. This was a thoughtful gift. His first true gift. It warmed Mattheo's heart to have received it from you, even if it was just a scarf.
“T-thank you...” he said sincerely, his chocolate brown eyes on you. Showing you how genuinely grateful he was.
You smiled warmly, nervous washing away. “I am glad!” You sighed and then laughed. “Honestly...I wasn’t sure how you would have reacted to a gift...”
Mattheo looked mock offended, placing a hand over his heart. “You wound me" was his dramatic reply.
Which only made you laugh harder, as well as the boy at your side. “Never know with a Slytherin" you retorted.
“Hey! I take offence to that. I like gifts...I just don’t get them often, alright?” His tone wasn’t angry or hurt, but there was a small touch of sadness.
You decided to drop it after that. Just saying you were glad he liked the gift. And after a few more awkward moments, you excused yourself. You had to get ready to speak with your parents, you know...to wish them a Happy Christmas. It was true, but you also didn’t want to stick around for the awkwardness you’d both created. So, you left Mattheo sitting there, with his new scarf and thoughts and feelings.
Next time you’d seen Mattheo, Lorenzo and Theodore was for dinner. Which had been a nice Christmas feast. You’d ate and drank so much, you felt like you needed looser clothing. Walking out of The Great Hall with the three Slytherin ‘s, you said your good evenings and was about to walk back to the Hufflepuff house, when Mattheo said he’d walk you.
You didn’t look to his friends, but just knew they’d be sharing a confused look. But none the less, you walked off with Mattheo. It was silent for most of the walk, you both speaking when replying to the paintings you both passed. Eventually the silence had gotten too much for Mattheo, and so he was the one to break it.
He cleared his throat. “Ah, (Y/N/N)...I wanna thank you for your gift" he began, unsure if he was saying the right thing. “I-it’s something I needed, t-thank you...”
You smiled fondly at him, holding back a giggle. “It was nothing Matty".
He shook his head. “N-no it was. You took the time to get me something, while I-"
You knew what was coming, so you cut him off. “It’s fine that you didn’t get me anything, I didn’t do it for a gift".
He stopped, grabbing your arm and stopping you also. “No, that wasn’t what I was going to say! I was gonna say; while I don’t really do Christmas. That you were thoughtful, like always".
A soft smile graced your face. “Oh...well, I guess I’m just a thoughtful person by nature...”
Mattheo chuckled. “Yes, you are...” he then pulled out a small wrapped box, holding out to you. “T-this is for you, I got it a little while ago...just wasn’t sure if I should give it to you...”
Shocked you took the small box, removed the ribbon and opened it. Staring back at you was a small oval shaped locket. You brushed a fingertip over it, feeling the light coolness of the metal. Mattheo encouraged you to open the locket, and so you did. Inside was a photo of your parents on one side, and – to your surprise – one of Mattheo on the other.
Looking back up at the boy before you, who now looked embarrassed, you thanked him with the warmest tone. He knew how much your parents meant to you, so for him to have put a photo of them in there meant more than anything. And his photo, that was just a bonus. The moment between you both was silent, but warm and content.
But then Mattheo's eyes darted above you both, as you’d both stopped in an archway. His eyes widened by whatever was there. And so you tilted your head back to see for yourself. Well you weren’t expecting mistletoe to appear above you both. You want to say it was the Castle, but maybe someone else had a hand in this.
“Ah, well...” you mindlessly said turning your gaze back to Mattheo, who had been staring at you with a firm look.
You felt a pleasant chill run down your spine. And before you could say another word, Mattheo moved in. One of his hands cupping your cheek as he lips descended onto yours in a soft, chaste kiss. All the while you stood there unsure of what to do, or how to react. When he pulled back, he shot you an apologetic smile.
“S-sorry...” he sputtered. “Mistletoe, tradition is to kiss...the person...you’re with...”
He was blushing, and a mess with words. Even through your shock you found it cute. Your cheeks warmed, no doubt turning a bright red. You sputtered, trying to form words but nothing came from it. Which made Mattheo laugh. His thumb caressed your cheek, only making you blush more.
“You’re so cute when you’re flustered" Mattheo stated with a cheeky smile. “I’ve always liked making you go red...I-I've always liked you...”
Was that a confession? Did Mattheo Riddle just confess to always liking you? You wanted someone to pinch you, you needed to know if this was real or a dream. Though you begged for it to be real. For your friend, the one you have been longing for, to finally return your feelings.
“Y-you like m-me?” Was all you managed to get out, your brain a jumble from what was happening and just said.
Mattheo chuckled, leaning in to rest his forehead against yours. “Yes...and it was time to tell you. Because I so badly wanted to kiss you...”
If it was possible, you blushed more at him wanting to kiss you. Yet you wanted that too. Have for so long now. You then did something that surprised you both, you leant in and kissed Mattheo. It was a hard kiss, one that hoped to tell him how much you have wanted this moment. Instinctively Mattheo wrapped his other arm around your waist, drawing you closer as he adjusted the angle of his head.
You jumped when his tongue made contact with your lower lip, but you bashfully parted your lips. His tongue slipped in and explored your mouth. Both tongues coming together in a clumsy dance, clumsy on your part. As you didn’t know what you were doing, you’d never kissed someone before. And when Mattheo pulled back with a soft laugh, making a comment on your lack of grace when kissing. Yet your reply floored him.
“I-I'd never kissed a-anyone before...” you sounded hurt.
Mattheo then realised he had taken your first kiss. Quickly he cupped both cheeks with his hands, and pressed a quick reassuring kiss to yours lips. “T-that’s alright, I-I didn’t know you hadn’t been kissed before...but I’m glad it was me...”
You believed his words. The way he smiled brightly at you, caring for you. Christmas wishes, or maybe miracles, do happen after all. You got the boy, and had your first kiss. Though embarrassed by most of it, you wouldn’t change the outcome.
-Bonus-
Of course after leaving the blind love birds, Lorenzo and Theodore had devised a plan of attack. Or rather, push you both together. Theodore did put up a fight, not entirely liking you for his friend, but after spending time with you today, he noted you weren’t that bad. So agreed in the end to the plan.
Both boys had followed at a distance, watching painfully how you both were together. And then the awkward conversation before Mattheo gave you his gift. They lay in wait, glad you’d both stopped in an archway, the perfect spot for mistletoe.
“Now?” Questioned Lorenzo with his wand in hand.
“No, no" muttered Theodore, eyes glued to you both.
When the silence washed over you both did Theodore give the order, and Lorenzo said the spell and flicked his wand. They both watched how Mattheo was the one to see the mistletoe first, followed by you. They snickered at your sputtered words. But those snickers died the moment Mattheo kissed you. They wanted to hoot and hollow, but chose to remain silent.
The admission of Mattheo’s feelings to you made Theodore want to be sick, while Lorenzo smiled happily for you both. They say love is blind. And you both were as blind as they come. But it was a little weird watching the awkward kiss exchange.
The whole scene was priceless. Especially when Mattheo made a comment on your kissing. To which you advised you hadn’t kissed anyone. Theodore snorted, and said we knew that. But that memo must have gotten lost on its way to Mattheo.
In the end both boys decided to leave you both alone now. Their job done. You’d both kissed, feelings are now known and finally no more longing looks or jealousy – in Mattheo's case.
“Hope he knows that tomorrow I’m not letting him live down that awful kiss" comment Theodore. “Mattheo always boasted about being a good kisser. Apparently not".
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